#i feel like this pair already has a surprising amount given how little fanfiction there actually is

[deppsessed]

Good luck charm #2

Part one here

Pairing: Johnny Depp x reader

It’s taken me a few weeks to write and be happy with this part to post. I hope that you all enjoy it and that it was worth the wait. 

  A few days later, I swear I can still smell the musky scent of Sauvage, and the taste of cigarettes on my lips. It’s hard to comprehend any of the last seventy-two hours being real, and going by Alex’s (who I’m sitting opposite having coffee with) reaction and raised eyebrows at me retelling the whole story, she’s having a hard time with it too. And in all honesty, I don’t blame her, it’s a lot to process.

“So, he invited you to the concert after party?”

I nod my head and take a sip of my coffee. 

“Yep.”

“And he took you back to his hotel room? Where you-”

My lips curve into a smirk.

“He sure did.” 

“And you’re aware of the fact this all sounds like a badly written fanfiction?”

I have to burst out laughing. There’s no denying it because it really, really does. I couldn’t have made it up if I tried.

“Did I tell you about the part where he had to get his security to smuggle me out of the building unnoticed the next morning?”

For me, that had been the most amusing part of the story. Having breakfast with him as if it was the most normal thing in the world. After a few more spent kisses and I’d decided that it was time for us to part ways, he’d sent in his security in to make sure I got out of the building safely.

“But the real question is… Has he called or texted you?”

He hadn’t yet. The band had played a show last night, and would be travelling again for their next tomorrow. I wasn’t hanging on and waiting for him to reach out to me either. It would be pretty easy for me to pick up the phone and call him too, but I refused to be that desperate. 

I shake my head in reply to Alex’s question.

“No, but he gave me his number.”

“So, he’s waiting for you to call him then?” 

Realistically, the chances were that it was a one night thing. I wouldn’t hear from him again and we’d go our separate ways. I’d rather be hit with the reality of the situation than holding out on hope for a phone call and being disappointed when it didn’t happen. 

“I’m not going to. I don’t want him to think that I’m pining over him and completely desperate!” 

“You’re insane… You know, if he wasn’t in the slightest bit interested then he wouldn’t have given you his number to begin with.”

That was a true enough point to make, but I’m still not deluded enough to give into the fantasy. I’m ready to give her a reply when my phone, that’s been sitting on the table in front of me, starts to frantically vibrate. 

“Oh my god!” 

Alex spots the name on the screen before I’m able to take a glance. 

“He’s calling you! This really is a badly written fanfiction!” 

I shrug my shoulders and continue to let the phone ring out. If it’s important, he’ll leave a voicemail. 

“If you don’t answer that, I will!” 

I scowl at her and shake my head, it’s hard to believe that I’m the one that’s being responsible about handling all of this. Before she’s able to reach for the phone, I’m swiping it off the table and standing up. “I’m at least taking it outside.” I grumble under my breath.

“Hello?”

“Uh, hi-” The voice on the other end is raspy and familiar. I can just about see him fidgeting around like he does in interviews when he’s nervous. “It’s Johnny.”

Silence.

 I’m confused. Does he want me to make the next move?

“Right… Your name rings a bell. There was this Johnny, that the other night I went to go and see his band and ended up spending the night in his hotel room-”

I don’t even mean for the words to sound as aggressive as they do .

“I feel like I owe you a little of an explanation -- I don’t usually do this. I, uh, I don’t usually invite girls - especially fans -  back to my hotel room, and not call for three days.” 

So it’s one of those phone calls, where he’s expecting to let me down gently and feels the need to explain everything that I already know to be the case. 

“There’s no need to make a fool of yourself… I get it.” 

“I don’t think that you do.” 

What isn’t there to get? 

“I get it. I mean this is probably the part where you offer me an obscene amount of money to not go to the press about it. You don’t need to worry--”

“I can’t stop thinking about you.”

I freeze dead in my tracks, the thoughts of my overactive imagination and the words that I’m about to hit him with come to a close. Am I hearing things? Did he really just say…

“What?”

“It’s probably a really bad line. I don’t know if you heard me, I said….”

God, he’s insufferable. 

“No, I heard you… I just don’t get it.”

He has his choice of any girl in the world. Models, actresses, and here he is calling me.

“The other night was special for me-”

It’s a cliché, and just about the worst thing that he could come out with, but I’ll let him continue. 

“Listen, this probably sounds insane… but I want you here for the show tomorrow-”

He can’t be serious or that disconnected with reality. But then I remember the industry that he’s been working with the past thirty years, where he doesn’t have a nine to five job to cling onto, with a snap of his fingers he can pack his bags and travel somewhere else.

“I can fly you out, get you into the concert.”

That’s it. I can’t hold in my laughter, and I can just about see him pondering on the other end what’s so funny about his offer.

“I have a job-”

“So, call in sick?”

“It doesn’t work like that or that I don’t want to. It’s just, if I let you pay for the tickets and fly me out then that’s cheap, and I don’t want to be that person.”

There’s a long, drawn out sigh on the other end of the phone.

“Let me call you back.” I tell him, “I’ll see what I can come up with.”

---

A family emergency had been the most inventive thing that I’d been able to come up with, but it at least stopped any questions and pestering from work and friends about skipping town all of a sudden. The process of getting there had been planned to perfection, he was going to have one of the band’s security head on out to the airport and take me back to the concert venue - even if I had told him ten times how ridiculous it was and that I could get a cab, he had been insistent. 

The journey from the airport to the venue has me pondering the insanity of it all. Both in him actually wanting me here, and me going as far as to make it happen.  

The car pulls into the loading bay of the venue, where the tour buses and trucks with the band’s gear are on it. It’s when I get out of the car, that I notice him, like he’s just stepped off a photoshoot, puffing on a cigarette. I make the conscious decision to take him by surprise and sneak up on him.

“You know, those things are going to kill you one day-”

He startles, just about jumping out of his skin and choking on his cigarette in the process. 

“Too bad we’re all going to die anyway, so we might as well indulge in the bad things while we’re alive and kicking.”

“That’s a little of a morbid stance to have.”

He laughs and shrugs his shoulders, unphased, “Calling me out on my smoking and then calling me morbid might be the best ‘hello’ I’ve ever gotten.”

He flicks the cigarette to the floor before stubbing it out with his shoe. He stands there with outstretched arms, ready to welcome me, but in blind panic I go for a handshake rather than a hug.

“Hi.” 

His eyes widen, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I can almost see his thought process of just how he’s going to redeem himself and move on from the award pause.

“Hi,” There’s a long pause. “Was your flight okay? You got here safe?”

Thankfully, the flight had only been a couple of hours long - but that was more than enough time for me to spend on a plane. There was something about being in a constricted space, thousands of feet up in the air that made me nervous. Plus, without fail, I always felt disgusting afterwards.

“Guy beside me was snoring and drooling the whole time, I felt incriminated.” 

“Should’ve taken my offer to fly you out first class.” I snort and roll my eyes at him. We’d already been over this, I’d made myself clear, I wasn’t going to be his groupie.

“Actually, without being rude, is there a place I can go and shower first? Being frisked at security and sitting on a plane kind of makes me feel gross.”

His eyebrow raises in amusement, I can almost see the cheeky comment that he’s threatening to make on the tip of his tongue, but something stops him.  “Tour bus is free at the moment. I can give you the exclusive tour, too.” 

Showering on a tour bus. Great. Exactly what I had in mind. 

“Ladies first,” He gestures with his hand for me to move in front of him. It doesn’t take a scientist to work out that the giant black RV with the band logo across it is where we’re headed..

Much to my surprise, going inside, it’s more like a luxury hotel room on wheels. It feels a better standard than my apartment back home.

“This part is the kitchen…. We don’t use it much, aside from the mini bar.” 

It doesn’t even qualify to be called a kitchen. It’s a tiny little counter space with a microwave, a coffee machine, and a mini fridge. 

“And this is where we sit and relax, talk, play guitar...” He points towards the plush leather sofas adjacent to each other. “The cool part here is that the wall slides back if you need more space.”

“Impressive.”

“These are the bunks where we bring back the groupies.” 

I’m unsure whether they look claustrophobic, like I’ve heard many complaints about, or if they look quite cozy.

“There’s a proper bedroom through there too, but Alice and Joe usually fight it out for it. I don’t mind sleeping it rougher.” He explains with a shrug of his shoulders. “Bathroom is through the back. Take as much time as you need. I’ll stand guard for you.” 

“Thank you.” I look up at him with a smile before brushing past to open the door on the back wall that extends out into the bathroom. Much to my surprise, the room isn’t all that smaller than the bathroom in my apartment back home. The shower, that I assumed was going to be a small, cramped space, is quite spacious. The only strange thing is stripping down and knowing who is standing guard by the door.

He’s in every way true to his word, too. As I turn the water off and grab a towel to wrap myself in, I can hear a disagreement going on outside between Johnny and Tommy about the bathroom being otherwise engaged.

“I’m telling you, dude, you’re just going to need to find somewhere else to go and pee… Bathroom is off limits!”

“But I can’t hold it in, man! I’m dying! You think I can use the kitchen sink?”

Johnny starts to laugh at him, “You can’t be serious!”

There’s a little more toilet talk back and forth and laughing still going on by the time I’m dressed and nudging the door open carefully.

“Um, hi, Tommy.” I greet nervously and fold my arms over my chest.

“Oh! Now I get it… You have a girl here!” 

I can feel a blush rise to my cheeks just thinking about what is no doubt going through his mind. Thankfully, Johnny comes to the rescue.

“It’s not -- it isn’t that, Tommy.” 

“Oh, I’m sure.” He gives a wink at the two of us. “I’ll leave you to it, J-man!” And just like that, Tommy is off the bus.

“I’m sorry about him.” Johnny sighs, “He says what he thinks, there’s no stopping him.” 

“It’s fine,” I brush off, acting as if I’m unbothered. But in reality, that one comment has gotten to me. I can’t help but have the niggling thought in the back of my mind, if that’s the way that Tommy is going to react, then what is the rest of the band going to be like? 

---

The concert was amazing, even better than what it had been a few nights ago. I’d watched the show from the side of the stage, and could safely say that this time, Johnny had been looking and smiling at me. 

I hadn’t wanted to face the confrontations of the band after the show, so after the encore, I had decided to hide away in Johnny’s dressing room to look at my phone for a moment of peace and quiet. If I was to exclude the fact that it was Johnny Depp’s dressing room that I was sitting in, it would have felt like the first normal moment of an otherwise bizarre day. 

The door flying open makes me look up from the screen, to see Johnny standing there, still hot and sweaty from being under the lights. 

“Everything okay?” He asks with a concerned expression, “You weren’t there when I came off stage. I was a little worried that I’d scared you off.”

I’m hardly going to tell him that I’m scared of running into the band when he’s the one that’s brought me out here to be with him. “I just didn’t want to get in the way, I thought you guys would be in a race to hit the showers.” I lie coolly. It seems to be good enough, since he goes to change the subject.

“What did you think?” He asks, a grin firmly in place on his lips. “Could you see and hear alright? The speakers weren’t too loud?” 

I grin and nod my head eagerly. “You sounded amazing! Heroes was phenomenal...” I probably sound like I’m trying to impress him, but it’s my favourite song that the band do.

“Ah, you see,” He pauses to take a drink from his water bottle. “I think I had a little bit of extra good luck, with being cheered on the side front.” 

I can feel that warm feeling of heat going up to my cheeks, and certainly not for the first time today. It makes me feel so powerless and awkward to just stand and say nothing.

“Um,” He scratches the back of his head, “You must be hungry?”

Starving, actually. I hadn’t had anything to eat since getting here and been too shy to pluck up the courage to ask about food since getting here. I’d accepted my fate and growling stomach a good few hours ago.  But regardless, I downplay it, “A little, I guess…”

“Do you want to go and grab something to eat? I need to get showered and changed first… 

I’m not certain what prospect makes me more nervous. Dinner with him. Or dinner uncomfortably sitting around all of the Hollywood Vampires eating. Both make my stomach flip. Especially since he isn’t going to specify.

#johnny depp imagine #johnny depp x reader #johnny depp fanfic

[hyggeligbirch]

Happy, Now || pt. 1

An EXO Fanfiction

(reader x sehun ; reader x baekhyun) words: 2 083 warnings: none

summary: I've been trying to hold myself back from falling in love with you all over again.  (A confession, a little too late.) part: 1 || 2 || 3 || 4

You watch as your baby is passed from arms to arms around the room.  Everyone wants the chance to hold him, the tiniest member of the family.  Your heart stutters in your chest every time he switches arms.  He's so small and his uncles are not and there is the irrational fear in the back of your mind that they're going to accidentally hurt him, even though you know they know how to handle an infant.

 “Hey,” Sehun calls out from beside you, “watch his head, will you?”  You feel the couch cushions lift as he starts to stand.  “You guys really need to be careful!”

“Sit down, Sehun, this isn't the first baby we've held,” Baekhyun laughs.

Your husband slowly sits back down next to you and you sigh as you lean into him.  It's nice I'm not the only one panicking, you think as he absentmindedly wraps an arm around your waist.  Hopefully having the boys around to help coo over the baby for a few hours will help lower the stress of having a newborn in the house, once the initial nerves die off, of course.

As your baby finally gets settled into one pair of arms – Chanyeol's arms, the giant doofus in his oversized sweater that must be just the right amount of fuzzy because the baby is already starting to doze -, you pull your feet up onto the couch and tuck yourself carefully around a pillow.  Although you're sore, it's comforting to be holding something.  It amazes you how empty you feel without your baby in your arms.

You watch Chanyeol rock your baby softly, trying to coax him to sleep.  It seems as though it's working – baby lets out a little yawn and sighs as he closes his eyes and brings his fists up towards his face.  You let yourself relax a little, let your own eyes start to shut. They say the best practice when raising an infant is to sleep when baby sleeps.  Over the past week, you have decided that to be the soundest advice ever given.

The peace lasts only seconds after your eyes close; you hear a tell-tale whimper and you groan.  A single minute.  You would sell your soul for a single minute of peace.  No husband bothering you.  No friends visiting.  No baby crying.  No one demanding attention.  Just quiet.  Sleep. You groan again as the baby's whimpers become desperate mewling.  Sitting up, you hold your arms out, cursing a little as you notice yourself leaking.

 “Give him here,” you say, “He's probably just hungry.”

Chanyeol ever-so-carefully picks his way over to you, anxiously holding your baby tightly as he tries to keep from tripping over himself.  It's been six years you've known him, and he's still gangly and uncoordinated as ever. He passes your son over, that fuzzy sweater rubbing against your arms and you wonder, briefly, if you can steal it from him. It's so soft. The moment passes though, and your son is in your arms, mewling as loud as he can, trying desperately to get someone's attention. You quickly give yours to him, rocking him side to side and hushing him.

You go to pull off your t-shirt, baby balanced on your lap, but pause with your fingers on the hem.  “Hey, guys?” you say, “Unless you want to see me topless, you might want to leave.”

There's a chorus of coughs and Sehun standing, telling everyone that there's food in the kitchen, a surefire way to move the boys. Then it's just you and your baby and you pull your shirt over your head.

 “Shh, shh, it's okay, Mama's going to feed you, just be patient, please,” you plead with him.

“I don't think he's listening to you,” comes a familiar voice.

 You don't even have to look.  “Baekhyun!  Go away! Didn't you hear about the food?”

“Not hungry.”  He flops down into the chair across from you.

 “The baby is,” you say, voice taut and irritated, “which means I'm going to have breasts out everywhere.”

“I don't mind.”  He smirks at you, and it's such a familiar look that your heart shudders in your chest.  “It's not like I haven't seen it all before, baby.”

And he's perfectly right.  He has seen every last bit of you before.  You huff and unclasp your bra, exposing yourself. You can feel him staring, but you refuse to look at him.  He's seen it before, you remind yourself.  The baby latches on quickly, something that you are so grateful for – have been so grateful for.  A very soft moan slips past your lips as you feel the let-down, the milk that's been gathering in your breast for the past several hours, making it heavy and sore, all rushing down at once now that baby is attached.

You know the comment's coming before you hear Baekhyun open his mouth.

“If you sound like that just from being suckled, your husband needs to step up his game.  I certainly -”

“Shut up.”

He physically jolts in his seat, face screwing up. “What?”

 “Shut up, Baekhyun.  I'm not putting up with that right now.”  You level him with a glare, and he sinks down into the cushions. It works every time.  “Now,” you say, tone sharp but quiet, mindful of the infant, “if you want to sit in here with me, I'm not going to complain, but you need to be quiet.”  And you need to respect me, didn't come out of your mouth, and you really hoped you didn't need to say it.

Baekhyun whined once, then sunk into your chair, moping under the new rules.  He could mope all day for all you cared.  The two of you hadn't been together for years.  There was nowhere he got off talking like that.  Nowhere at all.

By the time you switched baby to your other breast, the silence had gone from nice to uncomfortable and, honestly, suspicious. You'd never known Baekhyun to keep his mouth shut for more than a few minutes.  Taking your chances, you look up from watching your baby nurse, only to find Baekhyun staring at you, a bizarre focus on his face.

“Baekhyun.  Baekhyun.” You wave your hand in his face. “Earth to Baekhyun.  What's the news?”

He blinks and smiles shyly.  Warning bells start going off.  Byun Baekhyun does not do “shyly”.  You sit back and wait, knowing that whatever's weighing on his mind will come out eventually.

“Y/N, I...”  He takes a breath and tries again.  “Y/N, I think...ha...I've been trying to hold myself back from falling in love with you all over again.”

And that was the last thing you were expecting.

You recover quickly, though, asking, “Have you failed, then?”

There are stars in his eyes as he looks at you, and you can feel yourself melting in exactly the same way you always did way back then, when you were just a couple of kids in love.  Reality snaps back in as your son's suckling dies off.  You lift him to your shoulder to burp him.

Baekhyun shakes his head.  “I never had a chance.”

 Your heart plummets.  This isn't what you want to hear.  You wish you could say that you don't know what he's asking you right now. You wish that you could say you weren't tempted, that your heart was closed to him forever, instead of trying to tug itself out of your chest to land in his palms.

“Give it a few days,” you hear yourself saying, that little rational part that knows that you're in love with your husband, that knows that you're happy here.  “Give it a few days and you'll be in love with someone else.”

His eyes drop and that piece of you that wants to see him bleed rejoices.  That piece of you that wants to see him hurt as much as he hurt you readies the blade that is your tongue - and strikes.

“It's not like you haven't done it before.”

 “Y/N!”

You stare at him.

 “Y/N...it's not like that.”  He's pleading now and his eyes are wide.  You never liked it when he looked like this, always preferring the soft expression as he woke in the morning.

You can feel your baby falling asleep against your neck.  “Isn't it? It's always been like that.”

“No!  I love you, Y/N.  I always have.  I always will.”  There are tears in his eyes, you're sure of it, and your heart is breaking, again. You're not sure a heart is supposed to break this many times over one person.

You press your lips together.  You know what he's asking.  You aren't sure you want to give it.

“I can't pretend anymore, Y/N.  I can't pretend to be okay watching you have a life with my – our – friend.”  He leans forward in his seat, put his hand on your knee, stares at you with watery eyes. “Y/N, all I'm asking is that you give me one more chance.”

And that's the kicker.  You feel your son – your and Sehun's son – dig his little fingers into your shoulder, trying to find something to hold, be comforted by. You let the breathing of this little body calm your heart, your soul, ground you.  The piece of you that is crying for Byun Baekhyun cracks, and you're able to answer him with a steady voice.

 “I don't want you, Byun Baekhyun. I'm happy. With Sehun. You don't get to come crawling back after watching me grow happy without you and beg for me back.  You could have done this at any point in the past four years, but you choose now? Now, when I'm happy, when I've just had my child.  Now,” the venom rises in your throat and you surprise yourself with just how angry you are at him as hot tears start to fall.  “I am happy.  I am happier now than I ever was with you.”  You laugh.  It's angry, sharp and pained, but it's still a laugh.  “Besides.  I don't give third chances.”

Baekhyun's mouth gapes open and he's so startled he doesn't notice the first tear fall.  “Y/N...”

 You aren't finished.  You aren't finished because there's still a part of your soul that wants so desperately to hold him in your arms and tell him that you don't mean it, that you love him and only him and always him.  You won't be finished until you set that piece of yourself in his hands for good.  “You say you're done pretending, Baekhyun?”

He nods.

“Then you should leave.  If you can't bring yourself to be around me, happy, then you don't need to be here.”

He knows what you're saying.  He closes his eyes and the tears spill down his face. You've seen those paths a thousand times.  You stop yourself from reaching out and cleaning his tears.  While he processes what you've said, you grab your shirt off the back of the couch and redress, suddenly incredibly uncomfortable being exposed to him.

“Please, Y/N,” Baekhyun sniffles.

“I'm happy, Baekhyun.”  Maybe if you say it loud enough your soul will snap back into place and make it true.

He blinks hard.  Sighs.  Shakes his head and stands.  “If this is goodbye,” he starts.  Chokes. “If this is it, can I at least have a kiss?”

You can give him that, at least.

He's everything you remember, but softer, gentler, more scared.  He's almost shaking, trembling against your lips.  Before, he'd have been aggressive, but now he lingers, light against your lips, a ghost already.  It's a small victory on your part, to let him linger.  To allow him this chastity when kissing another man's wife.

 Baekhyun breaks the kiss, far earlier than either of you'd like, far later than it should have been broken.  He bows to you, and this wordless goodbye somehow hurts more than any words ever could have.  You watch him leave the room before you let your eyes close and your body shake with sadness.  You hear the boys in the kitchen, surprised at Baekhyun's appearance.

“I'll see you guys on Monday,” you hear him say, and your heart tears because this is it.  So many times you've told him to leave, and this is it.  This time, he's really gone.

Your heart finally snaps in two at the sound of the front door slamming shut.

Two deep breaths.

“Y/N?”  Sehun. Your husband.  “Is everything okay?”

You force a smile.  Nod.  “Yeah.”

You're happy, here.

first || next >>

#exo #exo fanfic #exo fanfiction #baekhyun x reader #sehun x reader #reader insert #exo x reader #byun baekhyun #baekhyun #bbh #oh sehun #sehun #exo imagines

[theartofimaginaryfriends]

Chapter 9 - Rules

Fic series: The Final Straw (HP/PJO Crossover)

Premise: Nova has a a nightmare and the teams are chosen.

Masterlist

taglist: @ilvermornymascot, @lukecastellandeservedbetter, @eva-blog-p

word count: 2,100

A/N: This break from the fic was longer than intended but I've been fixated on Hunters (Amazon Prime) and started a blog for it because there's barely any fanfiction for Hunters and that's a travesty. To make up for it being nearly a month since I last updated (I think?) I made the chapter way longer than normal, but I think I'm going to stick to chapters being around this length. Definitely reduces the amount of chapters I originally planned while keeping the timeline in check XD Hope you enjoy this very late installment!

Nightmares were a common occurrence for demigods, being nearly unavoidable. Some were stronger than others, leaving the demigod remembering every vivid detail when they woke up. Others were weaker, causing the demigod to wake up with a few details forgotten. Nova was unlucky, her latest nightmare leaving her confused in the morning.

The demigoddess stood in the corner of a dimly lit room, watching as a house-elf brought a letter over to their master, who was lounging on a plush leather couch. "Great. A letter from that wretched school. Now scram, I want dinner in an hour."

"Yes, mistress." The house-elf squeaked and scampered off.

Unable to help her curiosity, Nova moved closer to the girl and peered over her shoulder. The name addressed in the letter was blurry, but the contents spoke of the transfer program. The witch tossed it aside in annoyance and got up from her spot on the couch. Nova followed her as she stormed out of the home and into the adjacent forest.

Nova had to jog to follow her pace but stopped when the air chilled. It was dusk, but the sky darkened quicker than usual. The atmosphere changed to one that was all too familiar, and yet brand new at the same time. The demigoddess's breath shook as she couldn't contain her fear. "You've come back sooner than expected."

"That transfer program that has been rumoured is official," the girl said, clearly annoyed. "I can't just play nice and be chummy with all of them! This is complete rubbish."

"Listen, child," the voice said. It sounded like it was coming from all around them, and the voice belonged to no one in particular. Gaea was what immediately came to Nova's mind, but the voice was male. It was Ouranos, it had to be. "You said you wanted to fulfill your former Master's plans and kill that boy you keep talking about, didn’t you?"

"Yes."

"Seeing as you follow me now, you will abide by my rules," Ouranos commanded. "Go to this transfer program. Make friends with them or don't, it makes no difference to me. Follow the program, and update me monthly on what is going on. We cannot be hasty, patience is a must. When the time comes, you will help me regain my physical form, so I can destroy those wretched demigods and you can kill your enemy."

Nova watched the girl, knowing very well what Ouranos was doing. He made it seem like they were allies and working together when in reality, the Titan was in complete control. He was just going to kill her when he was done with her, and she didn’t stand a chance. "Thank you, Master Ouranos."

The sky lightened back to dusk, and the atmosphere changed back to normal. Nova found herself following the traitor back to the manor, but as she walked the scene began to melt away.

She couldn’t make sense of what she had just seen. The Sky Titan's voice was clear in her mind, but everything else was fuzzy when she woke up. Nova sat up, and placed her head in her hands, trying to process what had just happened. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Nova answered Payton, who had pulled back the curtains to sit on the edge of Nova's bed. Her arm was outstretched, holding Nova's water bottle out to her. "Thanks."

"Wanna talk about it?" Payton asked, a worried look in her eyes. Nova shook her head after taking a giant swig of water and took a deep breath.

"Not really, no," she sighed. "I'd rather process everything first."

"Maybe breakfast will help," she said.

"Ah, yes," Nova had a small amused smile on her face. "Eating. What a concept."

"Just get dressed so we can go," Payton laughed. After taking another minute trying to rack her brain for a clearer image of the nightmare, Nova got up and changed before grabbing a book and heading out.

The girls were silent as they made their way to The Great Hall, but the silence wasn't filled with as much tension as it had on the first night. While it was still heavy, Nova found herself feeling less apprehensive around her old enemy. Payton really did seem to want to be her friend, and even if last night's comment was a little odd, Nova knew in her heart that it was well-intended.

When they got to The Great Hall, the girls separated and Nova made a beeline for her usual group. She sat in between Cree and Percy, the table already in deep discussion about the teams being chosen tonight. She didn’t add much to the conversation, feeling drained. "Nova, is everything okay?"

"Nightmare," she shook her head, looking at Cree. "I'll be fine."

"What about?" Percy interjected, the group's attention shifting to The Head Girl.

"It was unclear, but I believe that one of the people in the dream was the traitor," she said. "I never saw their face, but they were talking to Ouranos. It felt more like I was in a Pensieve."

"Pensieve?"

"It stores memories," Harry explained. "Depending on the memory, it can feel like you're in a nightmare."

"And it felt like I was intruding on someone else's memory," Nova sighed. "But we shouldn't worry about that right now, there's still another eight hours for people to enter."

Nova took to people watching on the stairs again, paying more attention to the book in her hands than she was yesterday. "Didn’t realize this year would reopen old wounds."

"Neither did I," Nova said, turning to Harry. "How are you feeling?"

"Angry," he admitted. "But who isn’t?"

"You and Percy have the worst luck," she stated. "Once everything's calm, something else pops up."

"My scar hasn’t hurt, which is a bright side," Harry reached up and touched his forehead instinctively. "But it feels like it will any minute. As if I hadn’t actually killed him."

"Voldemort is dead, Harry," the witch reassured her friend. "We don’t have to worry about him."

"Just need to worry about something completely out of my range."

"Isn't that the point of this competition?" Nova chuckled darkly. "To ensure it won’t be?"

"Sound about right." Harry shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips. The two of them ended up chatting for most of the day. Cree joined in later, stating that Nova's Head Girl duties have deprived him of time spent with her.

After dinner, the school settled into the balconies as if they were going through a sorting ceremony, waiting for the names to appear. Instead of Professor Tahamente making the speech, he left the floor to McGonagall. The woman managed to quiet the entire student body with one stern look, before beginning her speech. "In a moment, the fountain will reveal the teams. If your name is called, please make your way back into The Great Hall, and sit with your chosen partner. I will announce the names as they appear, and while this happens I expect there to be silence until the end."

The headmistress stepped back, and everyone watched as the fountain began to glow. The teams came up in four groups each time, and there were mixed reactions. "Harry Potter and Percy Jackson."

The two boys high fived, and happily descended down the stairs. No one was surprised at that pairing, many students finding it unfair. "Clarisse La Rue and Draco Malfoy."

Clarisse shoved past the Slytherin, making him stumble as he followed her. Draco didn't seem pleased either, his signature scowl on his face. "Jason Grace and Luna Lovegood."

A few classmates snickered, and Jason seemed a little worried. Luna was often in her own world, and to Jason, she didn’t seem like much of a fighter. "Leo Valdez and Hermione Granger."

Leo immediately tried to charm his new partner, and Hermione rolled her eyes at his attempt.  "Annabeth Chase and Seamus Finnigan."

The two walked in silence, Nova noticing the gears in Annabeth's head-turning. She never stops thinking about a strategy, even when she doesn't know the challenge at hand. "Hazel Levesque and Blaise Zabini."

Hazel glanced at her partner as they walked together, and Blaise was completely stone-faced. It was always hard to tell what he was thinking, but he had fought in the war against Voldemort with most of the Slytherins. "Nico di Angelo and Ginny Weasley."

Nova thought their dynamic would be interesting. Both were smart, but polar opposites as far as she was concerned. "Travis Stoll and Ronald Weasley."

It was almost like Ron was partnering up with one of his brothers, which screamed utter chaos. The next four teams came up quicker than the first two times, the air growing tenser as everyone anticipated who would be next. "Meg McCaffery and Neville Longbottom."

Everyone tried to hold back a snicker while watching Neville glance at the short and temperamental thirteen-year-old. Meg had given Neville a once over, before nodding once in approval and bounding down the stairs. "Piper McLean and Dean Thomas."

Dean smiled at Piper, and they started chatting in low voices. The demigoddess could tell they'd make a great team and smiled to herself. "Frank Zhang and Pansy Parkinson."

Murmurs started, and Frank was clearly nervous. He stopped at Nova and whispered to her. "Should I be worried?"

"A little bit, yeah," Nova told him. "I'm sure if you sit with Hazel it'll be fine. Blaise can keep Pansy in her lane."

"Thanks," Frank audibly gulped and made his way down to an annoyed Slytherin, who glared at the Praetor. McGonagall cleared her throat to tell the school to be quiet and continued.

"Kayla Knowles and Cree Fletcher."

Cree looked at Nova for guidance, and she assured him that Kayla would be a fantastic partner. Relieved, he left her side and met the archer a the bottom of the stairs. From where Nova stood, she could see that those two were already getting along, and it made her relax significantly. Cree was her best friend and if anyone would make sure he made it through this alive, she was glad Kayla was that person.

The rest of the teams were called out, and by the end of it, everyone was either bored or fidgety. "Would our Head Boy and Girl please join us in The Great Hall, as well as Will Solace. As for the rest of you, you may go to the lodges, and get ready for the campfire."

"Why are they asking for me?" Will asked as the three students made their way in.

"I'm guessing it's because they want the healers to be in the loop," Nova told him. "Chiron likely mentioned that you'd be an important asset."

Nova often aided the Apollo kids, and especially Will, when they needed an extra medic. The two of them had taught each other different healing techniques, and Nova supplied the camp with healing potions. It benefited them in the wars they fought within a year of each other.

"Congratulations to all of you that were chosen for the championship," Professor Tahamente smiled at the group. "There will be many trials and tribulations ahead of us, but please remember that this is about building teamwork and developing a bond that may assist us all in the future. Our first task at hand will take place on Saturday, November 21. In the Quad next week, we will set up stations for each of your teams to build a chariot together. Lucas and Nova will oversee it in shifts to ensure there is fair play. We will have Pukwudgie guarding the area during the night so that we can make sure there won’t be any sabotage.

"Will Solace will act as one of the healers on sight during the competition. The others will be Nurse Hawkins, Madame Pomphrey, and Nova Sterling. There will be no additions to the chariots that can potentially ruin another team's chariot during the race, and we will be checking for any extra charms on the chariots that could allow anyone to cheat. As for specific rules of the games, that will be revealed on game day. Are we clear?"

"Yes, sir," Everyone chorused.

"If you have any questions in between now and the day of the competition, please don’t hesitate to ask," Tahamente smiled. He dismissed the group and stepped away from the podium. As soon as they all made it to the campfire, the teams were greeted by applause.

Some students basked in the attention, others seemed nervous. The only thing certain at the moment was that the dynamics were about to change.

#harry potter #percy jackson #pjo #harry potter fanfic #percy jackson fanfic #harry potter/percy jackson crossover #harry potter/percy jackson crossover fic

[r0botarmsapts]

Title: Two Cents Cross-posted to Ao3, dA and Fanfiction.net. Characters/Pairings: Flynn and Estelle friendship, FureYuri, Fluri, FlynnYuri  Words: 1,800 +. Disclaimer: I own this fanfiction but not the characters or game they’re from.Notes: This contains spoilers for Zaude and post-Zaude. Extra: Male/Female friendship, Shipping Gen, Gen, friendship, Flynn is overworked and very tired. Summary: “You love him, don’t you?” “I do.” For Flynn, time stops once he’s spoken what he cannot take back into hiding. He stiffens, expression changing to one of surprise on how easily she had asked and he responded with only one clear answer to her question. Composing himself, in silence he turns to face Lady Estellise, her smile soft, green eyes kind, posture relaxed- a picture of someone that knew and held no judgment for it. “I didn’t have to say his name.” Flynn wants to look anywhere but her eyes right now yet holds her gentle stare with his own conflicted one. It feels too much like she can see into his mind, seeking confirmation for what she already knew. Lady Estellise’s words sounded like a simple fact when there was so much more beneath the surface. An unsinking ship on tumultuous waters. “How did you know?”

Estelle had been deeply concerned about Flynn since he took that nearly fatal blow at Zaude. The scene went by all too quickly, only replaying slowly in her mind, being able to see Flynn shove Yuri aside(the look of fear and determination in his eyes), almost giving his life without the slightest hesitation then. If Estelle had not been there, had not had her powers, then Flynn would have been...

Given the late hour, she knocked softly on his office door, quickly receiving tired permission to enter. She was fast to come inside, shutting the heavy door behind her, finding Flynn staring into the late night sky.

“Lady Estellise, what brings you here at such an hour?”

“I came to see you. I know you have been so busy with everything, and I’ve heard you were stuck in here when not in the field.” In reality, since Yuri fell with no answers, since Flynn had acted in ways she had never seen from him before in his worry and grief. “I’m worried about you, Flynn.” Her eyes were then drawn to his desk, multiple candles lit, one nearly out, others having signs of burning for a long while, leaving a mess of a wax trail downwards. Maps, notes and documents were neatly placed, locations searched marked off. The Captain had been so busy and all for one person.

“I appreciate your concern, but I am not the one to be worried about.” His words were firm, denying his own poor state, fueled further by his want to spend off hours along with any spare time continuing his searching, taking a break something that could come later on. It had taken a bit of work, but Flynn had made use of his newer authority to get two extra ships that were to be sent out the next morning.

It figured the Captain would want the concern going to a special someone else right now. This was only pushing another feeling she had been suspicious of for a long time, complete with Brave Vesperia’s knowing instead of guessing based on their previous, even recent, conversations. The young royal does not move from her spot, the question slipping past her lips before she can stop it while her heart felt tight, but she had to know for sure as well.

“You love him, don’t you?”

“I do.”

For Flynn, time stops once he’s spoken what he cannot take back into hiding. He stiffens, expression changing to one of surprise on how easily she had asked and he responded with only one clear answer to her question. Composing himself, in silence he turns to face Lady Estellise, her smile soft, green eyes kind, posture relaxed- a picture of someone that knew and held no judgment for it.

“I didn’t have to say his name.”

Flynn wants to look anywhere but her eyes right now yet holds her gentle stare with his own conflicted one. It feels too much like she can see into his mind, seeking confirmation for what she already knew. Lady Estellise’s words sounded like a simple fact when there was so much more beneath the surface. An unsinking ship on tumultuous waters. “How did you know?”

For something to do with her hands, Estellise smooths her skirt, going to stand beside Flynn, looking out into the starry night herself, sharing some of the same thoughts he did without having to speak a word of them, the pair both wanting to know where in the world Yuri exactly was. “Almost every time you spoke about Yuri, your eyes took on a strong warmth, and whenever you were worried about him, you always had something good to say,” she pauses there to look at Flynn, a still knowing smile on her lips as she takes in the familiar expression she had come to know over the years on the Captain’s face. “Even now, there’s a fond smile you only have when it’s about him.”

“I see,” Flynn replied turning over this new information, unaware how open to the world his feelings were. “I had no idea it was so obvious.”

Estelle hums an affirmative, her voice suddenly a little chipper when she informs him “we all know.”

Once again, Flynn is forced to pause, gauging the seriousness of her words, finding no signs of a lie, not even close to one. “All of you?” Flynn wants to know if she means only the entirety of Brave Vesperia, but with the amount of times he has talked about Yuri to her and others, the blond suspects she means more, but would that also mean...

“Yes." The young royal then clasps her hands together in front of her chest, eyes sparkling with a sudden bout of happiness for the two. “That’s great though, isn’t it? You love Yuri, and we are certain he feels the same.”

There’s where Flynn’s smile falters, the uncertainty of more with Yuri coming to the front of his mind. “I am not so sure he does-”

“Yuri thinks of you often. Even back when we were trying to catch up to you, we were on Ehmead Hill, Yuri wondered if you had seen the beautiful view too, then he was the one to fix your door after Zagi broke it. He talks about you in ways you speak of him.” Her voice taking a determined tone, not about to let Flynn’s doubts cloud what was clear for everyone else.

Flynn wants to truly believe her, unable to quell the tiniest hope sparking to life at the chance Yuri returned his feelings, that there was some hope for them to be together. Happy together. Therein the problem rose, Yuri needing to be back with him, alive. Suddenly, a hand is on his arm, squeezing gently, snapping him from the thoughts of Yuri possibly being gone.

“We will find him, Flynn. None of us have given up hope he’s alive out there. I know you haven’t either.” Estelle can see it better now once she’s so close to him; how tired Flynn truly appeared, the young royal unknowing of how many long, sleepless nights the Captain endured while carefully attending to his duties and charting new areas to search. “Get some rest Flynn. I don’t think you want Yuri to see you like this, you know better than anyone how he can get.”

All at once with mention of the swordsman, Flynn feels the weight of the days gone by since their forced separation, the exhaustion threatening to claim him where he stood. Still, Flynn found an old smile to wear. “Yuri can say I badger him a lot, but he worries more than he lets on.” Anytime Flynn let work take over, Yuri would be there to pull him from it, keeping him from doing exactly as he was now. Yuri somehow knew the right things to say even if they hurt, kept him grounded. Flynn would give anything to have Yuri back in front of him now, to hear him go off about how Flynn should not have been overworking like this... although this time it was for Yuri.

Yuri was always the exception.

“Let’s go. I am not letting you sleep in your office.” Her grip remains on his arm, almost worried to let go in concern he would fall over. She would once he was back to his own room, not going to leave him alone here knowing Flynn would just nap at his desk then get back to work in his search.

“I guess I cannot persuade you otherwise.” On hearing the softer determination in her tone directed at him, the Captain knew it was a fight he could not win, especially not against her. “I do need to at least lock up first.”

While Lady Estellise put out two of the other candles only lit more recently, he stared at one he had recalled lighting earlier as darkness began to fall, the thing close enough to new then was already almost burnt out. In a distant way, he felt too much like that candle then, blinking to clear his bleary sight.

Estelle stayed with him while the door was locked up tightly, his new marked areas to have searches beginning tomorrow, along with carefully crafted notes and places to check again, just in-case. If someone had caught of someone that so much as looked like Yuri, Flynn wanted to know.

In a time that was too long and short leaving him almost dizzy, Flynn was in front of his own room, turning to face the young woman that had been a close friend for years now. His smile was tired, grateful. “Lady Estellise, thank you, for everything.”

Estelle returns with a warm look of her own, wanting to say he did not have to thank her for any of this tonight. Somehow, it did not feel right, instead she speaks with confidence, “we’re going to find him. You’re not looking alone, Yuri is important to us too.”

“Once Yuri is back to us, it seems as though he and I have a long talk waiting.” At his words, Lady Estellise’s eyes shone with a bright happiness that was for them and what could be. “Good night, Lady Estellise.”

Flynn’s mind in work mode still, it was pointless to tell him he did not have to be so formal, especially in his exhausted state. “Sleep well, Flynn.” The young royal waits until he goes into his room, hearing the door lock. Satisfied he would not return to his office, she turns to leave, retiring to her own room for the night.

Mirroring how she found Flynn in his office, Estelle took time to gaze out at the stars, wondering if Yuri was able to see them as well, steeling her faith he was alive, for not only returning to friends that missed and worried for him greatly, but also for a love so strong and genuine it put her ideas of it into a new light, something to think over.

Their group had been split apart across the sky, lands, waters, keeping eyes and ears out for Yuri, Flynn sending out two more ships tomorrow while continuing looking elsewhere personally. The efforts were exhaustive with fewer places remaining. The outcome leaving more than a few whispering of Yuri’s death, they so certain of it as Brave Vesperia was of him being alive. She had not known Yuri as long as Flynn, yet knew enough to believe this would not have killed him. He seemed the type to be too stubborn to be taken from them over something like that.

“Come back to us soon, Yuri.”

#fluri #Estellise Sidos Heurassein #Flynn Scifo #tales of fanficiton #flynnyuri #fureyuri #tales of vesperia #yuri lowell #tov #フレユリ

[paodequeijofeliz-blog]

I would do it all again

Ride or Die Fanfiction (characters and main story belongs to Pixelberry Studios).

Pairing: Mona and MC (Annie)

Information: this takes place after the first book.

Summary: After what happened at the parking lot, each member of the crew tries to build a new life, following the “every man for himself” motto. But Annie doesn’t agree with that and tries to pull them back together, especially Mona, who she has been waiting for too many years.

Warnings: none.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

I would do it all again - Part 5

      “There’s paint in your… Everything.” Annie started to giggle, herself also covered in dark blue paint. “Gee, Avery, I think you’re right. We’re gonna be blue for the rest of our lives. Like little Avatars.”

         “I told you!” the other girl laughed too, trying to clean the paint out of her face with a towel, but only made it spread even more. She was shorter than Annie, with puppy brown eyes and an adorable big smile. Didn’t look nothing like her uncle Dominick. “But worth it. Look at this room. It’s perfect.”

         They stopped to admire the results of their morning’s work for a few moments. After days watching tutorials online and searching for the right materials, the room was finally finished. Mona had confessed to Annie her wishes to turn it into some sort of studio, where she could draw or practice her guitar skills again. Of course, the last time the Lebanese did either of those was even before meeting Annie in the first place, so it could be hard to catch up again. But her eyes lightened so beautifully at the idea, the girl couldn’t wait to have the room ready for Mona to start.

         That’s why backup was required, and who better than Avery? It was about time for Mona to meet her anyway, especially now that she had just returned from Italy after a family visit.

         “Do you think we have time to clean up before they arrive?” Annie peeked over the window, but there was no car to be seem in any side of the road.

         “Yeah, I think so. Let me call my uncle and check if he can hold back longer.”

         Dominick picked up the phone immediately, mumbling and pretending it was a work call. Between codes, he was able to reassure them it would take a while to get home, maybe an hour. That was the right amount of time for both girls to clean the room and themselves. When the car finally parked outside, Annie was brushing her wet hair while Avery finished putting the paint cans away in the mess room.

Mona’s voice was audible in the distance.

         “… never trust ‘em. Those supposedly safe economical cars are always a headache, they don’t survive a single storm on the road. If you gotta change cars, go for something with higher resistance, especially you who need to ride through this bumpy road every day.” The door was opened to reveal both Mona and Dominick carrying grocery bags inside. “Hey, babe. How are… What did you do?”

         The Lebanese narrowed her eyes, scanning the room for something dangerous. She knew that look on Annie’s face meant trouble.

“Nothing. Why?” the girl tried to put on an angelic smile.

         “You’re jumping in the same place. Why are you so excited? Should I be worried?”

         Avery popped her head from the hallway before Annie could answer the question. “Hi, everyone.”

         “Oh hey, cookie! Come here. Let me introduce you. Calil, this is Avery, my niece.” Dominick held the brunette girl from her shoulders, placing a kiss on the top of her head. “Cookie, this is Malika Calil. Or Mona.”

         “Or boss” Annie added, teasing.

         “Nice to meet you” Avery answered after a brief laugh. “It’s good to finally put a face to your name.”

         “Same here.” Although Mona wasn’t normally friendly, she got very fond of Avery. “So, what did you two do today to make Annie look like she’s about to shoot fireworks from her ass?”

         The teacher rolled her eyes, still too damn energic to stay still. “Ok, ok. C’mon. Avery helped me to do a surprise for you.”

         “Uh-oh.”

         “Don’t uh-oh. It’s a nice surprise, promise. Or I hope so, at least. If you hate it, we can change everything. No worries. It’s reversable. Most of it.”

         “Stop explaining, Ann.” Avery put a hand on her forearm, trying to prevent her friend from jabbing. “Just show her. Trust your guts. Be confident.”

         Mona arched her eyebrows in surprise. “I liker your attitude.”

         “Alright, c’mon. Close your eyes.” Annie held both the woman’s wrists and started to guide her in the right direction. “Wait. Not yet. Not yet. And… Okay, now. Open it.”

         Those dark eyes started to open slowly, a little bit afraid of what Annie had done, but then widened at the sight of the room. “Oh. My.”

         Mona was startled. Her soon-to-be studio had two of it’s walls painted in a dark shade of blue, with tiny sprinkles of silver that made it look like the night sky. The sprinkles would get bigger as it reached the ceiling, forming stars and constellations on it. The other two walls remained white, one of them with a huge drawing table by the window, favouring the natural light. The other, though, as soon as Mona approached, appeared not to be a simple white, but a paintable kind, like a white board where the Lebanese could write and erase anything as it pleases.

         It was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

         “You said you’re a creature of the night. That the night sky inspires you. So… I… I hope it’s good. Like I said, we can change it, paint from scratch again, no problem. The important is for you to be comfortable here.” Annie hesitated, trying to work on her confidence like Avery suggested, but Mona was awfully quiet, and they couldn’t see her face, since she had the back turned.

         “Uhm… I’ll make some coffee. Help me, cookie?” Dominick pulled his niece gently by the elbow, closing the door behind them to leave the couple alone.

         Silence continued afterwards.

       Annie was slowly getting more and more terrified, especially when noticed Mona’s closed fists. She approached her carefully, hands lifting, but too afraid to touch. Mouth opened, but no word could be formed. Has she gone too far? Was the woman mad because the room was painted without her? Annie thought she had been so careful to listen to the signs, make a good choice…

      “Mon… I’m sor…” 

      “I love you.”

      When Mona turned around, there were tears in her eyes. The last time Annie remembered seeing her cry was six years ago, after the shooting, when they said goodbye to each other between blood and promises. Today, it was different. The woman wasn’t sad. Her black eyes were glowing with a sweet form of love, this time no longer afraid of cops breaking them apart. Fists still clenched, posture tense, but a warm expression. It was like her body didn’t match her heart at all… Like it was fighting against it’s own feelings.

        Annie approached her, breath caught on the throat, a sheepish smile emerging. Without sudden movements, she held Mona’s fists and brushed them with her thumbs, causing it to relax and slowly given up on the fight, obeying the heart’s commands. The girl only stopped when they were inches apart, diving in those beautiful Lebanese eyes like jumping in the night sky with no parachutes on. Their fingers intertwined at the same time Mona’s posture eased a bit, leaning in for a tender kiss that made Annie melt down in her arms.

     “I love you too.” Whispered Ann, eyes closed and foreheads together. “Did I hurt you somehow? Did I…?”

     “You could never hurt me. Not even if you wanted to.” Mona opened her eyes again, causing the girl to do the same. “I’m sorry I frightened you, I’m not mad or upset, far from that. I’m… It’s just… No one has ever done things like this for me before, Ann. I know this room is nothing compared to the other huge sacrifices and battles you have been fighting for so long, but it hit me hard. It’s so personal. So perfect. It’s not only safe, or careful, or well-planned, it’s also me. The real me. Like you can read me through and through. I don’t think anyone ever got so deep.”

       “I know you hate to talk about this kind of stuff. But I hope it’s already clear that I’m not standing here just ‘cause you’re hot and funny, although those are qualities worth mentioning, might I add.” Mona couldn’t stop smiling mischievously over that observation. “I’m not playing around or seeing where it goes, Mon. I worry about you. I want you to feel comfortable and free to be yourself again. Even if ‘yourself’ means not sharing the silly-feelings talk you dislike. I love you the way you are. I’m all in, babe. Head over heels. Sorry if it scares you, but that’s the truth. Deal with it. And my love comes with things like these surprises attached.”

       Annie gulped, afraid her statement had been too straightforward, but Mona didn’t back up, tense or hesitate at all. On the contrary, her arms involved the girl’s waist, bringing her closer into a not-so-tender kiss. It tasted like fire and sweetness at the same time, the type of kiss that could make someone falter between rip their clothes off or shout “I love you”. She didn’t know how much time that continued, since her full attention was captured by Mona’s lips and hands, until finally they ran out of breath and needed to break it for a second.

     “Man, I’ll repaint the entire house if it leads you to kiss me like that” Annie chuckled, hands entangled on the back of the woman’s neck.

      “Are you complaining I don’t kiss you passionately on a regular basis?” Mona arched her eyebrows, turning around to press the girl against the door, one leg between hers. “Well, let’s see what we can do to solve it…”

      Annie felt the air escape her lungs; knees so weak she would have fallen on the ground if it wasn’t for those tattooed arms sustaining her body. “Don’t tease me, we have guests waiting for us in the kitchen.”

      Mona growled, placing a last bite on the girl’s neck before finally releasing her. The way she trembled forward, still shaken up, made the Lebanese open a cocky smile. “My, my. Have I taken your strength so fast? I barely touched you yet.”

       “You know…” Ann held herself on the door handle, eyes locked with the woman in front of her. “It’s the ‘yet’ part that’s almost causing me a freakin’ heart attack right now.”

       Avery’s voice came from across the apartment. It smelled like fresh coffee even from the hallway. As Annie went to the kitchen to take a mug, she saw Mona’s phone lighting up on the balcony. Some random number was calling. “Mon, you’re phone’s ringing.”

      “She’s in the bathroom.” Dom was resting against the back of the chair, a half-empty package of biscuits on his lap. “You should answer, it could be her parole agent checking in.”

     The girl nodded, cleaning her throat before picking up the phone. “Hello. Can I help you?”

      A woman’s voice came from the other side of the line. “…Oh, yes. Hello. I am looking for Malika.”

     “She’ll be here in a minute. Who’s this?”

     “I am a… Childhood… Friend. We used to be very close. My name is Ada.”

     “Hm, I don’t remember your name, but Mon doesn’t talk a lot about her childhood.”

      “I see. And you are?”

     “Oh, sorry. Annie. I’m her girlfriend.”

     “…I can say I have been looking forward to meeting you. I’ve heard a lot about your story.”

     “Aww, that’s sweet, thanks. Hey, she’s here. Just a sec. Babe, it’s a friend of yours.” Annie offered the phone to Mona, watching her frown in confusion.

     “A friend of mine? Who?”

      “Ada.” She gave her girlfriend a quick kiss on the cheek before turning to sit by the balcony, never catching how Mona’s eyes widened.

      “Hi” the Lebanese said, her heart pounding against the chest.

      “Hi to you, baby girl. Guess who else got out on parole too?”

      For just a moment, Mona felt like her whole world was about to fall apart again.

#mona x mc #choices: ride or die #ok now thats enough fluff #let the problems beginnnnn

[sebbybooks]

Our Vintage Summers

Sebastian Stan x Fanfiction

"Damn me to hell

or take me to heaven,

but for God's sake do it now."

-n.r

~come back to me.~

Bare feet tucked away in the sand as my head tilted north of the Atlantic Ocean, I soaked up the warmth from the sunlight as it kissed me all over my face. My eyes were closed as I breathed in the evocative scent of the near sea breeze. I attentively listened to the soft symphony of waves crash back down in a rhythmic pattern. The salty crisp air permeated under my nose filling my bloodstream with great sorrow. It felt as though I was longing to be taken back to a good memory. Despite the island of Nantucket being a piece of my childhood for some unknown reason those memories felt like just an illusion. Almost as if it was only a fever dream.

"I can not believe Nana Florence left that huge ass estate all to you." My older sister Anya gaped. The disbelief echoed in her voiced woke me from my own state of disorient. Opening my eyes I slipped on a pair of shades and adverted my gaze away from the sun and looked out at the lighthouse in the distant. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, but still I knew a storm was brewing out there.

"I wasn't quite sure she even liked me. She was always so cold." I answered, still shocked by what I had just been given.

"She was a mean old bitch Sia. You can say it." Swallowing back her glass of bottle cream soda, Anya paused and stared off like she was trying to spot something that she had lost. "Besides it's not like she's gonna come out and haunt us. . . that would require her to care." Her tone was laced with sadness whether she would admit to it or not.

What feels like nearly a lifetime ago our parents would send us away to stay with our grandmother while they coasted around the globe every summer existing as if their children did not. Anya and I were left spending two months with a grandmother who acted as though we were unwanted guest who had to earn their keep. My older sister by just two years whose outspoken personality got her into more trouble than I care to even remember. Whereas I was always the meekly grandchild petrified of stepping out of line. What I got in return when she looked at me was annoyance like I was a stone in her shoe.

I couldn't do anything right in her eyes despite my efforts. That woman had an air about herself that exuded an unexplainable amount of bitterness I never even knew where it stemmed from. When it was finally time to return home I prayed and gave thanks to whoever was listening for freeing me from that house. Which is why I found it to be a complete and utter mind fuck that she left it all to me.

"I'm just surprised she actually wrote any of us in her will after not hearing from her in nearly fifteen years." Anya quickly jumped to her feet waving one arm in the arm in the air until the people she was flagging down finally caught ahold of her attention. Leading the way was her husband Gavin, and twins Remi and Justin who we have known since coming here as teens. Squealing and jumping into his arms like she hadn't seen her husband in months. Anya wrapped herself around Gavin and I had to turn my eyes away from their borderline pornographic kiss.

Plopping down next to me on the beach towel that was just about covered in sand was Remi. The Nguyen's use to own the beach home next door to my grandmother's and long ago I was thankful for their presence. For years Justin and Remi were the only bit of solace Anya and I had during those summers. Granted Anya had to teach me how to sneak out of the house I was always terrible at it every time. I threw all caution to the wind, because I would've done any an everything to get out that soulless house. There was something about it that made chills creep up my spine whenever I stepped through the door. To make it even creepier I'm pretty sure on one Fourth of July I could have sworn I saw her looking out of her window as the four us raced to get down to the beach.

"So I see after three years of marriage the honeymoon phase has not quite ended." Remi's glossy short black hair blew around her face before cascading back down in a stylish slanted bob. She was sitting so close to me I was smelling the fragrant scent of sweet mirabelle plums and jasmine. After knowing her for thirteen years I was starting to think it was just Remi's natural scent. At least one thing didn't change.

"I'm not sure if it's cute or sickening." When I looked back over at them Gavin had a death grip on Anya's ass.

"Are they always so..." Remi cocked her head to the side peering up at the two of them like she was viewing an anomaly.

"Clingy?" I chimed in.

Remi shook her head in disagreement. "Horny?" There was a moment of silence while we contemplated over the two of them before suddenly breaking out into a fit of laughter.

"Why don't you guys do us all a favor and get a room before you're arrested for public indecency." Justin said what we all were thinking as he fished a drink out from the cooler, and sat across from Remi and I in the sand. Finishing off his can of beer in one go, Justin peered into my eyes as he downed every last drop. I wasn't blind or immune to his good looks. His chiseled jaw and athletes body could make anyone swoon. There was alway this unspoken attraction that we shared ever since we were younger. It all sort of just went downhill the morning after my birthday during my very last summer spent in Nantucket. I remember it well, because it was the day I gave him my virginity while at the same time he wanted to give me his heart. At the time on paper he was the perfect guy. Smart, funny, loyal, Justin could charm his way through a nunnery if he wanted to. So in the end why the hell did I turn him down?

Tossing the crushed up can back into the mini cooler buried in the sand. I noticed the warm smile that reaches Justin's chestnut brown eyes transform into a triumphant smirk. I was busted. I pressed my sunglasses closer to my eyes somehow thinking it would shield me from my embarrassment. I was at least grateful that our friendship stood the test of time. Throughout the years he always described me as being a bolt of lightning. An untamable force of nature that was strikingly beautiful to the naked eye, but if I let someone close enough to touch me I'd leave them scorched and in pieces. The only reason I never took it as an insult because the answer was simple. . . he was right.

After two failed long term relationships I was starting to sense a pattern at my own creation. The men I dated always loved me more that I could love them. It wasn't like I was opposed to romance, happiness and the other sappy shit that follows.

Eventually it all just boiled down to my inability to love them as much as they loved me. I couldn't fully give myself over to my exes because I knew deep down they weren't him. Now I didn't know who this guy was. A figment of my imagination maybe? All that I knew about him was that he clearly only existed in the back of my mind. There was a voice in my head guiding me along the way telling me to just wait and the one I was waiting on will be there. I couldn't explain this feeling to anyone else even if I tried.

Sliding down from Gavin like he was a pole Anya pulled on his arm as she sauntered closer to the rest of us. "I mean we could considering little sis has eight unoccupied bedrooms behind us." Gavin boasted.

"Your wife's grandmother just passed away and you're already talking about having sex in the house she died in?" Justin's eyebrows bunched in confusion.

"She didn't die in the house man." He muses. Gavin's smile was wide and unbothered. He was pretty as he was clueless.

"What are you planning to do with it?" Remi asked me, though her primary focus was giving all her love and attention to my four year old Dalmatian Memphis.

I let out a puff of air because I honestly didn't know what to do with the place. It was a beautiful three story classic Victorian styled beach house built in 1883 that faced the ocean with a perfect view of the lighthouse. On the outside the seventy five hundred square foot architecture was absolutely stunning. It looked as though it was a tiny gray castle with a white wrap around deck on every level. You could see so much from the viewpoint . By the way it was positioned you could barely be spotted.

"Earth to Sia!" Anya called out. "Are you alright? You have been zoning out so much today?" She added. She was standing in front of me bending so low I worried her investments would topple out of her tank top.

"Yeah I'm fine. It's just been a long week that's all." I answered. It wasn't exactly a lie, with everything that has happened with our grandmother these past couples of weeks flew by in a blink of an eye. It was weird knowing that she wasn't somewhere in the house making sure there wasn't dust or fun anywhere. At her funeral I don't even recall seeing a single tear fall from anyone's face not even my mother's. Everything was so touch and go. Was I weird for being the only who felt a tinge of sadness?

Clapping her hands ecstatically Anya swiftly resumed to her cheerful spirits. Her empathy towards me lasted about ten seconds. "Right!" Putting her hands on her hips my five foot four sister stood in the middle of us. "Movie night starts at six on the dot."

Snapping my head up so fast I'm pretty sure I pulled a muscle in my neck. "What?"

Rolling her eyes before sporting her former cheerleader grin. "Movie night like old times." She spoke like it was an obvious suggestion.

"That use happened at our house." Justin corrected.

She snorts. "Your point?"

"Won't that be weird?" Remi's eyed bounced from person to person. When no one said anything she asked, "Isn't her stuff still in the house?"

"Quit trying to force the fun out of it! It's not like the five of us are ever all together anymore." Anya addresses the group. "The years here were shitty and the only good memories I have were spent with you guys. For old times sake just say yes."Without another word she plopped back down sulking like a child.

For a moment we all just stared off into different directions lost in thought. We might have not been as close like when we were younger but I knew her well enough to know she was hurting. Like how the old saying goes people grieve in different ways and acting as though she was fine was perhaps her way of handling it.

"As long as it's not Dirty Dancing. You ruined that movie by making us watch it a hundred times." I released a fortifying breath, before plastering a smile on my face for my sister's sake. Immediately I saw the features of her face soften as she grew excited once more.

"Woah let's not get too hasty. I for one can not turn down the chance of watching the late great Patrick Swazye woo me through the screen." Remi supplies.

Stretching forward Justin says, "I don't know about being wooed, but you can count me in." He nods his head in Anya's direction while giving all his attention to me.The butterflies that tried to form in my stomach quickly disintegrated then were reborn as moths. I knew it. There was something officially wrong with me.

"I'm not going to lie Johnny was a handsome man. If I was Baby I'd risk it too." In true Gavin fashion he spouts out the most unexpected remarks.

More chatter erupts and from practice I have learned to tune it all out. Just when I did I noticed up ahead my mother was engaged in conversation with a man I had never seen before. I don’t know why I was so transfixed by his appearance. From the distance I could barely make out his face, but still there was something so familiar about him. I couldn’t look away once I became aware of his presence. It was a strange emotion to have over someone that I’d never met before. I inhaled sharply, my brain started feel fuzzy, and there was a chaotic sensation moving around in stomach. It began to make its way up spreading all over me practically paralyzing my entire body.

Believing he sensed me gawking at the two of them I was jolted out of my daze. Both of their attention turned towards me as they made their way down the beach. It was like a burst charge of fireworks slamming against chest. I was barely breathing from anticipation and excitement wrapped into one. The accelerated rhythm of my heartbeat drummed so fast, you’d swear I was high off recreational drugs. I had never felt like this before or maybe I have and just forgotten the rush.

My mother who was slightly a few steps ahead of the guy marched through the sand like fire was on her ass. “Girls!” She hollered, even though we were just a few feet away. Anya immediately stopped talking meeting our mother halfway. I swear those two were peas in a pod. They matched the same energy, shared the same mannerisms, hell they looked so much alike you’d think I was adopted.

“Hello hello hello !” Mother rushingly greeted everyone. “Can I grab ahold of everyone’s attention for a quick second?” She began clutching onto her pearls and I mean that in literal sense. My mother wore those particular string of pearls whenever she was in Nantucket. I don’t know why but it became a thing of hers. Usually when she began to toy with it profusely meant something was eating at her mind. Though maybe this time I was overthinking it. After all the only reason any of us were in this forsaken place was simply due to the fact her mother insisted the reading of her will and testament be held here. “I’d like to introduce you all to this fine young gentleman.”

“You got that right.” Anya eyed him like he was sex and food rolled into one. Something you want and something you can’t live without. Flirting was second nature to her. She couldn’t help herself if she tried, even though her husband was sitting right beside her.

My mother turned her attention narrowing her eyes on my older sister as if we were back at the age where her penetrating scowl could evoke obedience. Doing her impression of a fake laugh she returned her focus on the man in the Ralph Lauren beach fit. "This is Sebastian." Mother cleared her throat before continuing. "Your grandmother requested that he join us today. It has come to my attention that Sebastian was a cherished friend of my mother."

"What in the hell did you guys talk about?" Gavin's attempt of comedy was met with silence. A bewildered Anya spoke first. "How did you meet my Nana Florence?" My sister asked what I'm sure we all thought to ourselves.

Sebastian hesitated almost unsure of his unspoken words. "I mostly just helped with the renovations with her house and did what I could when she needed assistance with stuff. I apologize for not being here earlier. By the looks of traffic everyone was leaving town when I was coming in." His eyes found mine and I stared back with a blank expression like I was hooked onto every syllable that he spoke. I quickly looked away and toyed with the loose thread on my denim shorts so I would not come off as someone with a staring problem.

"Even though I'm late I would like to offer my deep condolences. She was an incredible woman who I know will be greatly missed." He continued, at least someone was finally sounding sincere.

My mother let out a laugh that came at such inappropriate timing. "Indeed." Her smile dimmed. I'm sure her mind was racing with the question of how long it would take to get a glass of wine in her hands. Apart from the background noise coming from the beachgoers there was still awkward silence that came on. Out of nowhere Memphis jolts up besides me and I was worried something bit him. Before I could get to my feet to check on my dog I see that he rushes over to Sebastian.

Sebastian drops to his knees and embraces an excitable Memphis as though they've just reunited from being apart. I stare at the sight unable to wrap my head around the scene. Don't get me wrong he was a loving and sweet dog, but he didn't take too well to strangers. Ever. He licked and jumped all around Sebastian I thought he was going to knock the wind out of the poor guy.

"I'm sorry about him." I pulled Memphis off of him hooking his leash to his collar. I angled my body so that I was in front of him.

"No worries." Sebastian says as he wipes the front of his pants with his hands. "I'm only sorry I had my mouth open during that last part." His faced scrunched in a playful manner and I had to send little memos to brain reminding myself to breath.

"He will try to french kiss you in a heartbeat." I stated. "The gentle giant will wash your face in saliva if you let him." Good grief what was I saying.

Sebastian laughs, our gaze holding an eerie sense of familiarity. Even if years were to have gone on by there's no way possible I could forget those pair of eyes. "I have to remember that for next time." Even the sound of his voice sounded as though I have heard it a million times. A favorite song you remember the melody to by heart but for some unfathomable reason can't conjure the lyrics as hard as you try to remember.

"Have we met before?" I bounced from one leg to another trying to adjust my feet to the burning sand. "I just can't help but wonder if I have seen you before." I weakly explained. I stared into his eyes looking for some indication that I wasn't going senile so soon at my age.

"Yeah in her dreams." Anya mumble loud enough for all to hear.

Sebastian stilled for a moment. "Sia right?" Sebastian asked clearly ignoring my sister's comment. I nodded my head yes. "I recognize your face from the all the photos from this album your grandma showed me of you." He pinned me under his unwavering stare and the heat that I felt was no longer from the sand as I felt it in places it didn't touch.

I quickly lost my smile for two reasons. One reason being that I was more than surprised she even uttered my name around strangers and not just pretended I didn't exist altogether. She was not the boasting type of grandparent that bragged on her grandchildren. Now that I think of it she never even complimented me on anything ever. Secondly, why in the everliving hell would she show Sebastian photos of us?

"Puberty wasn't exactly kind to me growing up. So I can only imagine the pictures she could've shown you." I swallowed hard. I was starting to inwardly cringe at the thought of him seeing my most awkward stages of me during my youth.

"I am going to have to disagree with you." Sebastian said quietly as he leaned towards me. In my head I rehearsed what to say next but the ability to actually make sound felt impossible. Filling in the silence between us Sebastian finally answered my questioned.

"Other than that no I don't believe ours paths have ever crossed before today." He blinked once and a slow smile formed on his face before saying, "Which I now realize was a terrible existence I was living." Sebastian cocked his head to the side, looking at me with a curious expression.

A weird tiny laugh fluttered out of my mouth almost like how burps come up. This wasn't me. I didn't fawn over men that turned me into a lovesick puppy, and yet low and behold there I was metaphorically shitting my pants at the sight of him. It had suddenly dawned on me that my group of friends had been silently watching us the whole time and that my mother somehow managed to disappear. I turned around to face them and all but one person stared back at Sebastian and I with mischievous grins. Justin however eyed Sebastian with visible disdain.

"Hey Sebastian you should totally stop by the house later today and taste my sister's cupcakes." My eyes bulged at Anya's bold innuendo. If my eyes could throw daggers she would be dead in an instant. Clearly seeing the look of mortification painting my face she quickly tried to backtrack. "You see Sia is a pastry chef and her vanilla butter cream cupcakes are practically little clouds of heaven." She choked back a fit of giggles.

I was afraid to turn my head to look at Sebastian. I just hoped his face didn't mirror my horrified expression. Blocking Anya out of view quick on her feet Remi stood to my side. "It's a silly tradition we have which newcomers are welcomed to. We just gorge out on food while watching Anya approved films." Remi said to him. I was still one hundred percent embarrassed but very much grateful for Remi.

"Then the dicks to chicks ratio will finally be even." Gavin added eagerly. I rolled my eyes as I shook my head. I started to say something but Sebastian beat me to it.

"I can't." For some reason when he spoke it sounded like the scratching sound a record player makes when it abruptly stops. The question of "why" was floating in the air. His answer oddly made me feel disappointed which I'm sure he could tell.

"It's just that I wanted to leave out before the weather could get a chance to trap me in." Aha! So I wasn't the only one who could sense the calm before the storm.

Out of nowhere finally speaking up Justin rose out from the sand. "Maybe next time." His hint of sarcasm did not go unnoticed. I wasn't sure why Justin was giving off douchebag behavior it certainly wasn't like him. Sebastian eyes went from me to Justin then back to me again. Sensing no threat by the way I was doing my best to shift further away from Justin, Sebastian bent back down to get on Memphis's seeing level.

Stuffing his hand in his pocket he pulled out a piece of parchment paper. Opening it up he broke a golden brown cookie in half before offering it to Memphis. Inhaling it in one bite, Sebastian quickly stood back up petting him on the head one last time. "He was only after the cookie in my pocket." Sebastian said to me. I wasn't sure why it felt like an ominous statement but it did.

"It was nice meeting you all." Before he turned away he looked over his shoulder at my grandmother's house that sat up on the hill. I watched him walk away and a piercing pain squeezed at my heart. I brought my hand up to my chest to massage the area that caused me actual pain. Whatever the hell was happening I could begin to feel it. Like a part of me was missing and I just now realized it.

"Well he was weird." Gavin blew out a whistle.

Later that night I tried to ignore that sensation that crept up on me. I baked to my hearts desire and even that couldn't silence the reoccurring voice in my head urging me to not let it go. To not forget him. Everyone came back over to the house as planned. I tried to coexist alongside them, pretending that I was fine. For the most part it worked. I didn't see my mother again after she vanished from the beach. I called both of my parents asking them if they knew anything else about the man from earlier. No one could supply any bit of information that I could use. The only thing my mother did mention was that her lawyer confirmed that she had written Sebastian a letter and that was all he could disclose.

Anya somehow managed to squeeze in more than one movie to everyone's dismay. Not only did we have to endure Dirty Dancing, but we had to sit through Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. We all sullenly agreed to one more before calling it a night and then on perfect cue suddenly a loud crack of thunder roared throughout the night. Before we knew it the power went out. Loud pelts of rain fell on top of the roof like bullets. The sounds omitting from the ocean sounded terrifying. Turning on our flashlights from our phones we were all gathered in the adjacent room from the dining area.

"You all know what this means right?" Gavin's face hardened. He stalked backwards on his heels as he backed into the flatscreen. The white light from his phone created a shadow around his face. "Say it!" Anya's voice came out like a nervous screech. Gavin nodded his head profusely, placing his hand on his hip his face adopted a disappointment expression. "I no longer have to endure that Cooper guy's singing."

From what I could make out in the dark Anya's face scrunched up in anger. Prodding a finger to his chest. "I thought you were going to say something serious."

"I just did!" He retorted. Just when I was convinced that I was going to have to break up a meaningless argument loud pounding came from the other side of the front door. All of our heads whipped towards the archway that led you to the entrance of the house. Instinctively Justin and Gavin exchanged a look before stepping in front of the rest of us. Anya poked her way between them running to the door before anyone could stop her. Gavin was on her tale calling after her, while Justin and Remi followed. Whoever it could've been was more than likely a neighbor or a beach straggler. Figuring they had a handle on whoever was at the door I went off on the pursuit of light.

Considering the fact that my grandmother hated candles as much as Frankenstein's monster hated fire I knew there was a huge chance I wasn't going to find anything. I walked up the stairs using a dim light that barely guided my steps. The house had always seemed familiar. Yet quiet and alarming all in the same breath.

I spotted for signs of significant changes that Sebastian could have made at my grandmother's request. Nothing looked remotely different. In fact the place looked older and shabbier than before. The black and gold foliage patterned wallpaper peeled around the corners of the wall. Cobwebs took up the ceiling and the hallway reeked of old books and soddened leaves. The cherrywood hardwood floor creaked beneath my feet as I took very slow and cautious step. I don't know why but the door at the end of the hallway called to me first.

There was not much that I remembered about this house. I wasn't quite sure what I was even going to see once I opened it. Unshakable nerves ripped through me as I pushed in the door. My heartbeat suddenly steadied when I saw that the room was nothing out of the ordinary. I shook my head at the silly thoughts I cultivated in my mind. I use to be afraid of this place and I suppose old habits die hard.

It felt like a scene in Harry Potter film as I stood in middle of the doorway holding up my small light from my phone in the center of the darkness. I angled my phone around the room looking for storage bins that could contain anything useful. The bedroom looked like it has been not lived in for quite some time. The bed looked sunken in and if I were to sit on it I'm pretty sure dust would form around me. Not much of anything was in sight apart from the dresser and a full length wooden mirror that leaned against the wall.

The only thing hanging in the small closet were white plastic hangers and linen sheets on the top shelf. Closing the door to the closet I released my pent up sigh because there was absolutely nothing of use in the room. I was ready for this night to be over so that I could return back to my version of normalcy that was miles and miles from here. Turning around accidentally bumping into the mirror. Rushing to catch it from falling over I nearly tripped over my feet trying to hold the heavy thing up. Feeling very out of shape I headed for the door when I saw that a piece of folded paper had fallen onto the floor. Turning the light back on my phone to see better I bent down to retrieve it. It was a crumpled up old photograph.

When I opened it immediately their faces nearly knocked the air right out of my lungs. I stared at it in disbelief trying to wrap my head around the imagery. It was fucking impossible that what I was seeing was real. The photo looked dated like it might have been taken many decades ago. As it fell from my hands and I stepped away from it like it was lethal. A humming sound passed through the house and suddenly the lights flickered back on.

"Sia!" Anya yelled my name from downstairs. I was too stunned to answer her. "Get your butt back down here! Sebastian is here!" As clear as day I heard what my sister was saying, but that photo held me captive.

The ink was faded but I knew that place far too well. The lighthouse in the picture was unmissable. It was the people inside the picture that threw me for a loop. Standing in the sand on the beach with a beagle wrapped in the woman's arms, she was embraced in a kiss with a man who looked like it could have very well been Sebastian. An from what I could see of the woman’s face it looked identical to mine.

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[little-legend-baby]

Sleepy Studying

Author’s Note: This is my first time posting fanfiction here on tumblr, yikes. I hope that whoever sees this enjoys it, it brought me some comfort writing it while I was having a dark weekend. 

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing Remus Lupin x Ravenclaw OC

Word count: 1743

The Hogwarts library had a special ability with light. Depending on where and how the light hit the endless shelves, it could make one feel any wide range of emotions. During a sunny day with the rays of light spilling onto the lightly dusted books, it brought a feeling of serenity. But at night, when there was little more than the occasional lamp and candle to light the rooms, it felt like a living mystery. Dark corridors of shelves, secrets tucked away within the endless pages of books… it was eerie but fascinating. 

There was one particular corner, however, that was less of a haunting mystery, and more of a comforting nook. All the way in the back, there was a secluded corner with two scarlet loveseats, a small table, a mountain of books, and a myriad floating candles above the heads of two students. 

“What’s that thing with the curl at the end? It’s some gibberish name.” 

Remus Lupin was positively exhausted. He had lost track of time hours ago, right around the time he’d forgotten what they were studying for. He imagined it was somewhere around 3 in the morning, long since curfew. That meant there was less than… some amount of hours before the exam. Right! Ancient Runes, that’s what they were studying. 

“Er… it’s called a-”

Hanna Newton was fighting to find the word, looping her index finger in a curl, as if signing the rune they were trying to name. She knew it, she knew it, if only her brain were awake enough to remember. She had to know it, the exam was only hours away, and worth a significant part of their final grade. What was it… She adjusted her glasses, hoping that seeing straight would help her think straight.

“It’s like a loop, I- I know it… it means four,”

“F-... Fwour?” 

Remus felt delirious, slurring his words in an attempt to find the name. Four… Fwour? Floop? He lowered his heads into his hands, letting his long fingers run through his hair for the hundredth time that night. 

“If I get it, I’m done. I can’t take anymore. Runes, floops, whatever,” he mumbled.

Floop. That sounded right, or almost right. Hanna sighed, shutting her eyes tight. Her mind was slipping, but she could picture the rune in her mind. Floop. No. Fwour. No.

“Fwoop,” she whispered. 

“Fwoop?”

“That’s it… Fwooper, means four,” she sighed, lazily grabbing the runes book and opening it to the back. 

She was avoiding the book, testing their memory for the exam. But now that they settled on an answer, they could check. Remus lifted his head and flopped over the armrest of the loveseat he was on, haphazardly waving his hand to beckon her over with the book. She obliged, standing and shuffling over, taking a seat on the opposite armrest. In her exhausted state, she had a harder time maintaining her balance, and it didn’t help that she was holding a book that seemingly weighed about half of her weight. 

Remus switched sides, shifting and looking into the ancient-looking ancient runes textbook. He placed his finger over the open pages, tracing the absurd little drawings until he found what they were looking for. It looked like a dark bird in a perched position, with a curled spiral underneath.

“Fwooper! That’s it!”

He was relieved more than anything. They had an answer and he could finally give in to the sleep that was gripping at him. But, his fit of relief exuded excitement, and he slammed his finger onto the book in an AH-HA fashion. 

It was good-natured, but the wrong thing to do when the girl holding the book was about the size of a bird herself. The force sent her teetering on the edge of the armrest, trying to balance herself without toppling onto her study partner. But it was too much, and Hanna’s lack of alertness made it impossible for her to compose herself.

With a rather loud thud, the ancient runes book flew out of her hands and onto the ground, while Hanna collapsed straight into Remus’s lap with a waking gasp. 

“Oh, s-sorry I jus- sorry-” Hanna sputtered, clambering to sit up. 

It seemed Remus had not noticed that 7-stones worth of girl had landed in his lap, or if he did, he didn’t seem to care. With the book not in his sight, and his question answered, he was ready to tap out. He rested his arms over top of her and let his head loll to the side sleepily. 

Though his arms were just as skinny and lanky as the rest of him, it was enough to effectively trap Hanna in his grasp. She let out a small “uh-”, but was met with the droning soporific voice of her counterpart.

“Goodnight.”

“W-what?”

“I give up, and I can’t stay up all night.” 

She sighed, turning to look at his face. The candlelight barely illuminated him, but cast a pinkish glow across the jagged scars on his cheeks and neck. He was already half-asleep, his eyes closed calmly and his breath steady. His light brown hair was tousled from running his hands through it. He looked placid and soft. Hanna felt her own brown eyes fall, taking in every detail of his dimly lit figure. 

But it was wrong, all wrong. She shouldn’t have been right there, in his warm sweatered arms. She shouldn’t have been looking at him the way she was, groggy and full of yearning. She should not have been thinking about what she was thinking, and she certainly should not have done what she thought about. But the warm shadows of sleep were reaching for her, bringing her down. And Remus was too, with the dead weight of his arms pushing her closer to him. So, despite every last bit of reason screaming at her to resist, Hanna gave up her resistance. 

She allowed her head to fall into his chest, her black framed glasses sliding down her freckled nose. Her arms came to rest on top of his, and she exhaled a deep breath.

How could something be so completely wrong, and yet feel so absolutely right? 

It felt like only a matter of moments before her eyes fell closed and her breathing fell in rhythm with his. With her head to his maroon sweater, she could faintly hear the soft beat of his heart, beating steadily like a soft metronome. Constant and reassuring, just the way Hanna loved it. 

She loved it. She loved the feeling of being close to him. She loved the warmth radiating off of him, like a welcoming fire on a cold night. She loved… everything, really. She loved him... The thoughts floated through her mind, disembodied from one another, with moments of blankness in between as she slipped out of consciousness. The reminder of her feelings were the last thing she remembered before she fell asleep in Remus Lupin’s lap....

--

There was that feeling of serenity that was common to the Hogwarts library, when the sun spilled through the windows and illuminated everything in a glowing haze. It was early in the morning, a time when only the most dedicated or desperate students were in the library. And of course there were the two in the corner, still curled up together on the velvet loveseat. Dedicated to their studies, but desperate for sleep.

The floating candles still cast a small glow on the two, but the morning rays did more to wake them up. It was Remus who awoke first, blinking and yawning as he came to recognize his surroundings. He never made it to the common room last night. He had fallen asleep studying with Hanna. And Hanna was… asleep, right there with him.

Now it was his turn to take in the sight. She was curled up against him, as if she were seeking protection. Her head was tucked forward against his chest, her chestnut brown hair falling into her eyes. Her glasses were askew, and had made a little red indent on the bridge of her nose. She looked peaceful, unbothered by the woes of everyday life, or the anxiety that seemed to hound the poor girl at every waking moment. But in a non-waking moment, she could escape. It made Remus’s lips curl up slightly, smiling at her. He didn’t know what had happened exactly that led to them at that moment, but whatever it was, it must have been nice. And the moment itself, right then, was endearing. 

“Hanna,” Remus whispered softly, bringing his face closer to hers. He slipped his arms around her, almost cradling her small frame in his lap. He whispered her name a couple more times before her cocoa brown eyes fluttered open wearily and drifted to find the source of the voice.

Remus. It was Remus, and she was right there in his lap. Oh no… She’d hardly woken up, hardly had time to process, and she was already blushing a furious red color, squirming to look away. She shouldn’t have done that, she shouldn’t have given in. Now, she’d have to face him.

“S-sorry, I-” she stammered, her voice still a weary whisper, though growing more frantic by the moment. But she was met with a surprise, one that took her aback, quite literally.

Remus’s arms wrapped around her, now completely cradling her frame. He held her close, smiling sleepily at her. 

“Slept well, I hope,” he said, cutting off her sentence and finishing it for her. Whatever was flying around her mind was not the same thing in his, he knew that. Whatever fear was already gnawing away at her was unwarranted. Did she think he didn’t enjoy this? By god, it was physical affection! And from someone he liked! 

“Well, y-yes,” Hanna admitted bashfully, her furiously red cheeks somehow growing even more red. This couldn’t be happening. He was smiling at her, holding her close, as if nothing was wrong. Was nothing actually wrong? 

“Good. Breakfast then? We’ve got an exam to ace,” he said, scooping her up and standing. He placed her down and stretched, then bent down to grab his things. Hanna did the same, stretching her small frame out and grabbing her backpack and textbook, which was still open on the ground where it dropped.

Together, they looked at one another, and Hanna spoke up, a renewed sense of happiness in her soft voice. “Let’s do it.”

#fanfiction #fanfic #fic #harry potter #hp #Remus Lupin #lupin #remus lupin trash #remus lupin fanfiction #marauders #marauders era #canon x oc #oc #original character #hp oc #harry potter oc #fluff #fluff fanfic #moony #hogwarts #harry potter fanfic #fanfics #writer #writing #cute #i can't believe i did this #yikes #marauders fic

[terry-perry]

Preyed Upon pt. 1

 Yet another piece of fanfiction that is dedicated to @ladyfluff​, especially since I have a few OCs on here that she had created. Give her a follow if you haven’t already to see more of them because they’re the kind of OCs that like to pop up every now and again on her tumblr. Also FAIR WARNING: this oneshot will contain some dark themes to it such as kidnapping, torture, and all that good stuff! You have been warned...

Enjoy the read!

There was no stopping Adam as he swung open the door hard enough to take it off its hinges. He charged over to Raymond sitting in the den and used more of his inhuman strength to lift him off the couch and hold him by the front of his shirt. Everyone else trailed behind not soon after and barely even put a stop to the antics.

“Where is she?!” Adam spat out, his eyes lit up with malice.

“Won’t you come in?” Raymond said with that sneering grin that made you want to punch him in the face.

“Cut the shit!” Peter hissed while standing on Adam’s left. “Where’s our sister?!”

No one had been able to reach Y/N for a little over two weeks. It wasn’t like her to go off the grid for too long, not even when she was busy working on one of her art projects or on the hunt for another addition to her antique collection. She always took the time to give one of them a call and even update them with her progress. Everyone’s concerns were confirmed after they all decided to check for her at her apartment and found her gone. The worry grew only worse when Ava spoke up about what Raymond had been spewing out since he came back into their lives, and how he was ready to give Y/N what she had coming to her.

“Ava told us everything,” Eve explained coldly on Adam’s right. “So don’t bother lying your way out of this.”

Raymond had the nerve to throw his head back and let out a mocking laugh before looking over to Ava, who was peeking from behind Eve’s shoulder like a frightened child seeking solace in their parent’s arms.

She knew this was her fault for bringing him back into the picture. She had heard all the stories about him throughout the several decades he had been around, but she saw it all as more adventurous and exciting than terrifying. She fell for Raymond’s charm and bloodlust; his goal of making every night a party for their kind. Him being Y/N’s ex was just a bonus since they never really got along all that well, and she enjoyed doing what she could to annoy her.

But this trumped their rivalry and whatever Bonnie and Clyde type romance she thought she could have with him. Now it seemed like lives could be at stake because she refused to see what he really was: a monster.

“Oh I sincerely doubt she told you what I have been up to,” Raymond said, pulling himself out of Adam’s grip. “Because she still thought that all this was just another attempt to get Y/N back when she left to warn you guys. And I’ll admit, I did make a final attempt to win her over when I had stopped by to see her. But it really seems like she’s taken by the new pet she has...”

He peered over to Ian standing behind everyone else and giving him an equally cold stare.

“I thought about killing her,” Raymond admitted. “But that seemed too good for her. Even if I took my time with it. So, I decided to give her a taste of her own medicine.”

The group were all paler than usual, but each pair of eyes were still slits of fury and disdain.

“What the hell does that mean?” Ian asked sharply. 

Raymond looked at him with an out-of-place casual smile.

“Have any of you ever browsed online before? I myself thought the internet was a bit of nonsense. Another waste of time these modern zombies created. That was until I found certain sites that only a few can stumble upon when you know the way to access it all.”

He kept his voice in an eerily calm level and still went on smiling serenely.

“One particular website I found was host to a lot of eccentric rich folk. People who were actually willing to pay millions - even billions - for items that are otherworldly or supernatural. Imagine my surprise when I also saw that even creatures could be up for sale. Entities...supernatural beings. Like us.”

“Oh no...” Rowan mumbled.

“You should have seen the bidding war there was over her-”

There was another violent lunge for Raymond, but from Ian this time. He bellowed out a growl-like yell when he almost knocked over everyone to attack him. He got a few hits before he was pulled back by Peter and Rowan. His face was red with fury, and his hair was disheveled. Angry tears spilled out his eyes.

“I’ll kill you!” He shouted. “I’ll fucking kill you!”

“Where is she?” Eve asked, doing her best to keep her own composure steady. “Who did you sell her to?”

“Now, now, she hasn’t been shipped off just yet,” Raymond stated with mock assurance. “Her buyer is some rich widower from the U.K. He’s planning on picking her up and flying back home with her. He should be here in about 2-3 days. Until then, I’m keeping her in a safe place that is on a need-to-know basis for those I do business with. So maybe there’s something better you can offer me for he-”

“This is Y/N we’re talking about, not some item you’re auctioning off of eBay!” Peter exclaimed fiercely. “We are not negotiating or offering anything!”

“Give her back to us!” Adam threatened with a menacing step toward Raymond. “Or else-”

But suddenly, Raymond took out a small remote and immediately pressed a button on it. Not long after, there was a terrible and drawn-out shriek in the room. Everyone looked around the small apartment until Rowan pointed at the cell phone they were all too distracted to have noticed on the couch. With it being on speaker, they all heard Y/N’s pained screams go on as they all began to panic.

“Y/N!”

“Stop it!”

“What are you doing?!”

“Stop!”

Raymond eventually pressed another button on the remote that seemed to put a stop to whatever it was that caused her screams since there was no longer any noise from her end but small pants and whimpers.

“What did you do to her?!” Adam screeched, tears of his own wanting to come out.

Raymond lifted up the remote and looked at it with pride.

“Oh that was courtesy of another neat little thing I found on the web. This baby controls something Y/N has around her neck at the moment. Kinda like one of those shock collars people have their pets wear when they want them to behave.”

Everyone’s eyes widened with fear and surprise, with some even looking like they might be sick. But he just continued to look smug and even had his thumb graze over some of the buttons on the remote.

“This one’s a little more intense. It even has levels! So far, it seems like it’s doing a great job keeping you all in line.” He gave each and every one of them a hard glare. “And you’re all going to stay in line by either scrounging up more than $7 million in three days, or just butt out and let me get the money that’s already guaranteed to come my way. Try anything else, I’ll be sure to crank this all the way up to 11! Then we’ll see what I can do with whatever is left of her.”

They all remained quiet and each felt a good amount of helplessness. What was there to do now that there hands were tied? They needed time to figure out what their next move needed to be. They just hoped Y/N wasn’t gone by the time they came up with a plan.

“Let us talk to her,” Adam demanded softly. “We, at least, deserve to know that she’s safe, for now.”

Raymond gave some thought to the request before deciding to hand over the phone to Adam.

“No tricks,” he said, raising the remote once more.

The group crowded around Adam once he grabbed the phone and called out to his sister in a shaky voice.

“Y/N?”

“Adam?!” They heard her croak out. It was heartbreaking to hear her wheeze. “Adam, I don’t know where I am. I don’t know where he’s taken me! I’m in some sort of basement, but that’s all I know. I’m so scared...”

Adam glanced at Raymond on the couch, but he just looked bored and tapped his fingers against his cheek with impatience. He reverted his attention back to Y/N. Eve did all she could to rub out the tension he was feeling.

“It’s going to be fine, Y/N. You’re going to be okay. I promise, we’re going to do all we can to save you. You just keep hanging on and be the strong person we all know you to be.”

He had to stop to swallow the lump forming in his throat.

“Are all of you there?” Y/N asked.

Peter took the phone from his brother’s trembling hands to answer. “Yeah, Y/N. We’re all here. You’re on speaker, so we can all hear you.”

“Hi everyone. Sorry if I had you all worried...”

Peter couldn’t help but let out a choked-up laugh. “It’s what you’re good at, I suppose. Even when we were growing up, you were always the one that had the habit of wandering off into the woods.”

“Just wanted to see those witches mother would always prattle on about for myself,”

Peter pressed his lips together and shut his eyes tight, doing all he could to keep it together.

“Is Ian there as well?” Y/N asked next.

“Yeah, baby, I’m here,” Ian answered immediately. He grabbed the phone from Peter, who was now being held by his husband.

“Is it all right if I speak with you, in private?”

Ian looked at Raymond to see if this was okay. He gained some agitation, but he only rolled his eyes and gestured towards the bedroom nearby.

“Make it quick,” he ordered. “Leave the door open, and keep it on speaker.”

Ian walked the several feet away and sat down on the bed while listening to her voice, despite the fact that it pained him with the way it sounded so hoarse and strained.

“I don’t know how much time he’s given you, but I wanted to tell you a few important things in case-”

“Y/N, please don’t,” he interrupted her with a small cry. “Please don’t act like this is the last time we’re going to talk to each other. You’re going to be okay. We’re going to find you.”

“I know, I know, but with the chance that something does happen to me-”

“I can’t!” Ian exclaimed tearfully. He couldn’t let this be the end for them. He needed her by his side; to take care of her, and love and admire her the way he always did. His eyes were clamped shut as though he was afraid this all wasn’t just a terrible nightmare he could easily wake up from. He needed to pretend for at least a moment that he’d open his eyes and find himself in her apartment where he would get out of bed to follow the scent of the late night breakfast she would be cooking for him while wearing one of his shirts.

“I don’t want this to be the last time I hear your voice,” he proclaimed. “I know there’s a lot we can’t do together, but there’s also a lot we can still do that we haven’t done yet!” He struggled a somewhat to catch his breath. “We still need to move in together, and travel, and make music.” He huffed and drew a sad smile on his face. “I was even thinking that we could get a dog. You like dogs, right?”

She gave out a broken giggle. “I love dogs. What do you think about getting a labradoodle?”

“Yeah, that sounds good. It’ll have a lot of hair, like me.”

“You know how much I love your hair,”

They shared a soft laugh and had some momentary relief from the dire situation.

“I want to do all those things with you, baby. And so much more,” he whispered, not trusting himself to have his voice break. He needed to be strong for the two of them. He couldn’t let her know how scared he truly was. “Please try to hold on until we find you. Promise me you will. And if you get a chance to escape, you tak-”

“All right, Romeo. That’s enough.”

Ian didn’t care anymore about making a scene once Raymond came into the room to snatch the phone away. He pleaded with a whimper for him to have another minute with her. He needed her to be okay. Last thing he heard was her panicked voice calling for him before Raymond ended the call. The love and worry he was carrying for her was now replaced with a rage and hatred for the man in front of him that was giving him a hateful scowl of his own.

“Pathetic,” Raymond scoffed. “Of all the people she could’ve replaced me with, she decided to go for you.”

Ian didn’t bother responding, only sinking to his knees due to his legs feeling too much like jelly. He was shaking from head to toe and ached as his breathing came out like there were painful stabs to his chest. He could only imagine that Y/N was in a much worse state. Because right now he didn’t care about living or dying. Only that the pain would stop.

#Olla #collab #only lovers left alive #eve olla #adam olla x eve olla #sister!reader #sister #adam x reader #adam olla #adam olla x sister!reader #Ian x Reader #ian olla #ian olla x reader #OC #lee pace #iwan rheon #tilda swinton #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston imagines #x reader #vampire!reader #fanfiction #angst #fandom #fanfic #peter olla #series

[oniusagimaru]

[Akutagawa/Atsushi Fanfiction] Collide (7/?)

Title: Collide Pairings: Akutagawa/Atsushi, Akuatsu Author: Oniusagimaru Rating:  T Warnings: None Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters Summary: All it takes is one chance meeting and Atsushi’s life slowly becomes tangled up in Akutagawa Ryuunosuke’s. This has to be some kind of cosmic joke. A/N: Two whole chapters of feels...

Atsushi knows he possesses the bad habit of helping others when it was not in his best interest to do so. Even in high school where he knew nothing good would come of helping his fellow classmates, he still did so because sitting around doing nothing was just not in his nature. He once returned a lost pencil case to someone, and was immediately accused of stealing, the person in question slapping him hard enough to make his nose bleed.

Pain was never a deterrent for his actions, so of course he’d treat exhaustion the same way.

The first time Akutagawa invited then uninvited him out at an ungodly hour, Atsushi had nearly missed his morning class, and Kunikida had chewed him out so badly for being late on test day that he ended up feeling very small for the remainder of the class. He at least got a break during Chuuya’s class, because as soon as he walked into the room he noticed the dim lights and his teacher with his head down at his deck, the words ‘review’ written sloppily on the whiteboard behind him. A hungover Chuuya meant a free period, and Atsushi took that time to catch a few winks. He’d been lucky, but that would not always be the case.

It’s another three weeks before he received another one of Akutagawa’s late-night texts, the vibration of his phone jolting him awake around 2 AM. All the text said was ‘park’, and Atsushi groggily hauled himself out of his apartment to meet the other there. As soon as he arrived, he bought the two of them bottled tea for the vending machine before sitting down next to Akutagawa. That time things remained silent, but Atsushi knew he hadn’t been called out there to casual chat up the other. He’d given it a lot of thought since their last meeting, but he could not understand why Akutagawa had contacted him. It wasn’t until he noticed the slight tremble in Akutagawa’s hands during the second night did it finally click.

Something happened, something that he shaken him up enough to seek company to calm his nerves. Atsushi wasn’t there to talk, he was there to be a…silent, emotional pillar of sorts. He wasn’t sure how to take that, especially since it meant Akutagawa had put some level of trust in him. When that happened was a mystery, but then again Atsushi had braved the late-night hour out of pure concern so clearly their relationship had evolved further without him realizing it. How had he missed something to big? When he things become…somewhat comfortable between them?

Before leaving, Akutagawa opened his mouth a few times, but simply closed it before turning on his heel. Atsushi waiting until he couldn’t see his back anymore before heading back, and plopped face first into his futon as soon as he arrived. As soon as he woke up, things started to go downhill. Atsushi battled a splitting headache throughout most of the morning, and by the time it subsided that afternoon it felt as if his head had been placed in a fish bowl. He could barely focus during his classes, and at one point he had to put his head down to gather himself. His behavior was apparently bad enough that Akutagawa took notice of it, and the firm grip on his bicep followed by a low, slightly annoyed ‘are you…all right?’ had startled him.

He simply bushed him off, telling Akutagawa that he was fine despite how off he felt. Another bad habit Atsushi possessed was his desire to not make people worry about him, so he’d downplay his own issues in order to put others at ease. The last thing he wanted was to bother someone with his problems, and the poorly hidden concern on Akutagawa’s face had made his stomach twist uncomfortably for just that reason. He was given a hard look before the other slowly began to release him, but Atsushi couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t look totally convinced.

They parted ways, and Atsushi had only meant to take a short nap once he returned home. When he was awakened by sun’s rays shining through his window, Atsushi panicked. It was already morning…he’d slept through not only the afternoon but the night as well. His first concern was checking on Kyouka in order to ease her concerns, because how could she not be when her brother had spent so much time in bed? Atsushi only made it a few steps before he blacked out. He vaguely recalled the sound of people talking, the smell of something cooking, and the feel of wetness against his forehead. But more than anything, he could recall a cool, thin hand touching his face, and it felt far too large to belong to his sister.

Once he finally came to, Atsushi groaned as the full weight of his illness hit him. His entire body ached, and whenever he moved the dull throb in the back of his head would intensify. Despite having been out for an undisclosed amount of time he felt exhausted, but his headache made it hard for him to fall back asleep. When he heard the door to his room open, he’d expect to see Kyouka trying her best to not let the concern she feels show. He did not expect Akutagawa to walk in, a look of surprise on his face that quickly turned into a frown. Atsushi stared dumbly as the other looked away, and after a few seconds of silence he begins to explain the situation.

Kyouka had frantically called Gin and told her the situation, and Gin had (in his words) dragged him along to see if they could do anything. His temperature was taken once they got him back on his futon, and even though he had a fever, it wasn’t high enough that the paramedics needed to be called. So, they took it upon themselves to take care of him; Gin and Kyouka made sure the washcloth on his forehead remained damp to help bring his fever down, and Akutagawa spent his time in the kitchen cooking. After a while the girls left to pick up some cold medicine from the store, which meant Akutagawa had to watch him until they returned.

It took him a few seconds to process all of Akutagawa’s words, and once he had, a wave of intense guilt slammed into him like a sledgehammer. He’d not only made Kyouka miss school but had disturbed the Akutagawa siblings from their normal routine, and that did not sit right with him in the slightest. Atsushi knew they had done it out of concern, but that did not stop him from apologizing. In fact, whenever he got the chance he apologized for inconveniencing Akutagawa, because he knew the other had better things to do than look after him. He felt even worse when Akutagawa hissed out a ‘shut up’ before he could get another apology out, his glare harsh but not undeserving since it dawned on Atsushi that he was probably annoying him with his words. He almost apologized for apologizing so much. 

Sucking in a deep breath, one that caused him to cough into his hand, Akutagawa told him point blank that he wasn’t there out of pity…he was there because he felt responsible. His confession left Atsushi in a state of shock. Why in the world would he feel responsible for him getting sick? It wasn’t like Akutagawa was sick himself and had infected him, so he was at a loss as to why he believed the burden fell on his shoulders. And then he said it…his voice was barely above a whisper, so Atsushi almost missed it.

‘You should’ve ignored my text and gotten some sleep dumbass…’

He stared, because not only had Akutagawa brought up the texts, something they hadn’t even had a proper conversation about, but he blamed himself for the exhaustion that had potentially let to Atsushi’s sickness. He didn’t know what to say, but when Akutagawa began to mutter that he’d no longer send him those kinds of text, Atsushi shouted ‘NO’ before the other could finish. His head throbbed from how quickly he sat up, but he ignored it for the most part because he was not going to have Akutagawa thinking he shouldn’t confide in him anymore.

Akutagawa had trusted him, allowed him a glimpse of his vulnerable side, and Atsushi was not going to take that for granted. He told the other that they’d figure something out, and all the while Akutagawa gaped at him like he had suddenly sprouted an extra appendage. Even Atsushi had been surprised at his own forwardness, so much so that his cheeks began to burn with embarrassment as Akutagawa continued to stare. After a while Akutagawa muttered a ‘whatever’ before leaving his room, but Atsushi did not miss the way his eyes quickly flashed with an emotion he couldn’t quite decipher.

For three days the Akutagawa siblings came over to help Kyouka take care of him, and he hadn’t been shocked when Gin told him her brother had taken it upon himself to handled most of the tasks. It was during those days that he learned that Akutagawa could cook rather well, and even if it was simply dishes, they still tasted better than anything Atsushi could make. He’d asked the other if he could make him chazuke once, and Akutagawa had wrinkled his nose, saying that it was a ‘terrible waste of tea’.

Despite complaining the entire time, he still made the dish for him, much to Atsushi’s surprise.

He even made an extra copy of the notes he’d taken his class for him, and Atsushi’s eyebrow had quirked in curiosity since the other had also handed over notes for classes the two of them didn’t share. He pitied the poor soul Akutagawa had approached for those. Atsushi couldn’t help but tease him a little, and every word earned him a scowl that held more annoyance than danger behind it. But it isn’t until he jokingly calls Akutagawa a ‘diligent friend’ that he shuts his mouth, and the air around them quickly became awkward.

Atsushi had hesitated to label the relationship they had, and Akutagawa hadn’t voiced any concerns about naming it either. Just being seen as the guy that’d been paired up with Akutagawa for an unfortunate assignment Dazai had pushed on them was originally enough Atsushi; however, the more time he spent around the other, the more his ‘for the paper’ mentality began to sound like an excuse.

His slip had accidentally put it out there that he could and did see the two of them as something other than an unclassifiable thing, and there was no taking back such a significant revelation. So, Atsushi began to babble, asking if Akutagawa was okay with being called his ‘friend’. After a long pause, Akutagawa told him that he didn’t care, his gaze falling everywhere but on Atsushi. A warm feeling blossomed in his chest, and he couldn’t contain the goofy, lopsided smile that had formed on his lips.

Once he’d gotten better, he and Akutagawa fell back into their usual routine, though with the added title of ‘friends’ hanging over their heads. Every time Atsushi thought about it, the more surreal it felt. Had anyone told him months ago that he’d end up friends with Akutagawa, he would’ve laughed at the sheer absurdity of such a statement. But…the world had a strange way of working, and Atsushi was just happy that for once it wasn’t working against him.

Yawning out loud, Atsushi buries his hands a little deeper into his coat pockets as he makes his way to Akutagawa’s apartment. The seasons were changing, and it became apparent with each day as the temperature began to drop. He’s never been the biggest fan of the cold, which is another reason he’s happy Akutagawa has taken to calling him when he needed some emotional support instead of inviting to the park. Atsushi usually did most of the talking, but sometimes they’d remain silent and he’d only head off to sleep once Akutagawa ended the call.

It’s fortunate Akutagawa had texted him to come over; one of his co-workers had come back from visiting family in Hokkaido and had been kind enough to gift everyone an assortment of loose teas. He figured Akutagawa might like a couple, and maybe he could learn how to make a decent cup of tea since the other always complains whenever he attempts to make any. One of the teas also helps soothe irritated lungs, because recently he’s noticed that Akutagawa has been coughing a bit more.

Now that Atsushi thinks about it, he’s been a little out of it as of late.

He frowns at the thought of Akutagawa catching a cold, especially since the other didn’t always look like he was in the best of health. Of course, he’d help Gin take care of him or at least come to check on him like they had done for him. Shaking his head, Atsushi knows he’s thinking too hard about this. He’ll deal with the problem once it appears, but this afternoon is about making tea with Akutagawa. Well…attempt to make tea, since he has a feeling the other will bark orders at him then push him aside to he can do everything.

Once he reaches the right door, he knocks three times, a smile tugging at his lips as he hears Rashomon ‘boof’ from the other side. He can just see the little dog standing firm in front of the door until someone answered it, and even if the small dog isn’t the most intimidating thing in the world, Atsushi finds his protectiveness enduring. He hears feet against the floor on the other side, and once the door is flung over, he’s met with a scowl.

“I told you the door would be open,” Akutagawa says as he crosses his arms.

“And I texted you back saying it feels weird just walking into your place since I don’t live here,” Atsushi says with a huff. “Also, hi.”

With an eye roll, Akutagawa moves to the side to allow him access to the apartment. Slipping inside, Atsushi begins to remove his shoes and jacket, and he can’t help but spare a glance at Rashomon. The dog gives him a ‘oh it’s just you’ kind of look before retreating to his bed next to the couch, and Atsushi can’t help but giggle a little once he notices Rashomon nuzzle the chew toy he’d gotten him a week ago.

“I’m beginning to think you only come over here to suck up to my dog,” Akutagawa says as he closes the door.

“That’s not true, I like hanging out with Gin too,” Atsushi says, and the other gives him a warning look.

He doesn’t know why though; he has very little interest in his sister outside of friendship, and she has, on more than one occasion, proudly announced that she has zero interest in men. ‘I hope I get a cute girlfriend’ is her motto. So, he brushes off the look in favor of reaching into his bag, his fingers grasping one of the small canisters inside.

“A co-worker brought everyone back tea from Hokkaido, how about we make some?” he asks while holding the canister up.

“…I’ll make the tea.”

“Since you hate the way I make tea so much, why not give me a few pointers?”

It takes all of Atsushi’s willpower to choke back the words ‘since you’re such a tea snob’, knowing his pettiness (even if playful) will get him nowhere. After giving him an annoyed look for a few seconds, Akutagawa groans before heading to the kitchen. Atsushi follows close behind him, knowing that’s as much as a confirmation as he’s going to get. He watches as the other swiftly collects an electric kettle, two round infusers, and mugs.

“What kind of tea is it?” Akutagawa mutters while holding the kettle under the sink faucet, filling it.

“Herbal.”

Akutagawa hums as he places the kettle down.

“Each tea has a different water temperature and steep time…do you even know that much?” Akutagawa glances at him from over his shoulder, brow cocked in that condescending way that Atsushi can’t help but make a face at.

“Yeah, I do,” He shoots back.

“…Do you let the green tea for your chazuke steep for more or less than three minutes…?”

Atsushi refuses to answer that question…because he’s gone well past three minutes when steeping his tea. Hell, sometimes a good ten minutes goes by once he remembered he had tea to attend to. A victorious smirk forms on Akutagawa’s lips, and this time Atsushi does call him a tea snob under his breath because he’s a sore loser. Instead of saying anything, Akutagawa sets the temperature for the kettle and they begin their wait.

Atsushi takes out his phone, figuring that by the time he played one song, the water would be done. He could feel Akutagawa staring, but he doesn’t allow his gaze to distract him since it’s the first time he’s playing on a higher difficulty than normal since there’s an event going on. Akutagawa had previously stressed that events were important, especially since it’s sometimes the only way to get certain rare items and idols, which is something Atsushi is always in need of. He hasn’t gotten good enough to reap all the rewards said events have to offer since he usually ranks extremely low, but he does try his best at them regardless.

He is, however, always surprised to see that Gin usually ranks somewhere in the top 100, while her brother always manages to take a spot in the top 50…That kind of skill level seems beyond him.

“…So, you can play on lunatic difficulty now?” he hears Akutagawa says just as the song ends.

“Just for events and certain songs, but as you can see I can barely manage to clear the live,” Atsushi says with a sigh as he stares at the results on his screen.

“No, it’s…” he looks away for a second while leaning back against the counter, “you’ve gotten better.”

Slowly he looks away from his phone, his eyes meeting the other’s profile. Atsushi briefly wonders if he’s hearing things, because that…sounds almost like a compliment. No, that definitely sounds like a compliment. He’s not sure what to say since ‘Akutagawa Ryuunosuke’ and ‘positivity’ are two things he never thought could go together. He stares dumbly for a moment, a smile gradually creeping across his features as he shuffles awkwardly from one foot to the other. It’s such a small bit of praise, but he knows it’s a big deal for the other to say something like that, so he takes it heart.

He begins to say thanks but stops once Akutagawa brings his hand up to his mouth, a cough escaping him. The first couple seem fairly harmless, and Atsushi asks if he should get him some water. But the next bout is harsh enough that Akutagawa jerks forward, his eyes tightly shut as his body shakes. Dropping his phone, Atsushi grabs Akutagawa’s shoulders as he doubles over, and brings him down as gently as he can to his knees.

“A-Are you okay? L-Let me get Gin-”

“S-She’s…not here…” he rasps out in-between coughs.

Shit, right…he hadn’t seen her shoes near the front when he came in. Akutagawa removes his hand to seemingly catch his breath, but before he brought it back as another fit seized him, Atsushi could clearly see specks of blood peppering his palm. Panic starts to set in as Atsushi grips his shoulders tighter; his mind swirls with thoughts of what he should do, but the sight of Akutagawa violently coughing, body trembling from the intensity of each cough, paralyzes him with fear.

He only snaps out of it upon hearing tiny paws shuffling against the floor, and he immediately snaps his head in the direction it came from. Rashomon paces back and forth while whining a short distance from them, clearly distressed by what’s going on. And then his senses finally get slapped back into him…he’s the only one in the apartment that can do something. If he wants to help Akutagawa, he needs to get himself together now. Taking a deep breath, he tries to calm his nerves as best he can, though he does flinch at a particularly nasty sounding cough Akutagawa gives off.

“Okay, I-I’m…” Atsushi clears his throat in an attempt to sound less shaky, “going to call someone, probably the paramedics, then Gin. J-Just hold on-”

“D-Don’t…”

“What? No, you’ll be all right, just let me- “

“N-No…”

“Akutagawa-”

“Atsushi…”

He shuts his mouth quickly.

Even if his voice is gravelly from all the coughing, there’s no mistaking what Akutagawa said. For as long as they’ve known each other, Akutagawa has never referred to him as anything other than ‘you’, and on some occasions ‘Nakajima’. He never thought it’d get any deeper than that, and Atsushi had been content with that. So, to hear him say his given name, voice full of desperation as he gives him a pained look, Atsushi can’t help but feel taken aback. The resolve he’s built up begins to crumble, because if he’s distressed enough to resort to calling him Atsushi, then Akutagawa’s clearly serious about him not calling anyone.

Akutagawa rasps out that ‘it’ll pass’ before covering his mouth again, and Atsushi clenches his jaw at his words. In the back of his mind a voice is screaming at him to do something, to not just sit there and allow the other to suffer. But if this is something Akutagawa is familiar with because it’s happened before, then…Atsushi should trust that the other knows what he’s talking about. With a frustrated groan, Atsushi sits back, his hands balling into fists on his lap. The coughing fit goes on for almost another minute, and all the while Atsushi is on edge.

Once he presses his forehead against the floor, breath coming out in ragged pants, Atsushi takes this as a hint that it’s over. Hesitantly, he reaches over and places a hand on Akutagawa’s back, the other’s body tensing for a second before it began to relax. Despite his body still shaking, Akutagawa tries to raise to his feet, and Atsushi is quick to help him. He sways a bit but manages to lean against the counter so he can rinse his hands off in the sink, and once he’s done he instructs Atsushi to help him to the couch. With a nod he takes the other’s shoulders again, and the two of them slowly make their way over, Rashomon following right behind them.

Atsushi seats himself next to Akutagawa once he gets him situated on the couch, and he opens his mouth a few times before deciding it’s probably best to not speak. Akutagawa’s voice already sounds shot, so asking him anything would right now would probably just strain his throat further. The silence the fills the air is thick, reminding him somewhat of the first time Akutagawa had invited him to the park. Atsushi knows it’s because Akutagawa is feeling vulnerable, and he completely understands why. He looks so…fragile, and even if Atsushi has come to know him as more than just an intimidating figure, seeing him like this is jarring.

“…I’ve never been in the best of heath,” Akutagawa says, his hand coming to run through his dark locks. “My lungs get irritated easily, so this happens sometimes…the weather changing isn’t helping at all.”

“I see...” Atsushi says, voice small.

“It’s been a while since I’ve had an attack that bad…though in high school it was much worse. Participating in gym usually landed me in the nurse’s office…”

Slumping forward, Akutagawa places his elbows on his knees, and Atsushi can’t see his expression from the way his hair covers his face.

“It was so…frustrating…” he says, and Atsushi feels his chest tighten.

He can only imagine the anguish Akutagawa is feeling right now; he’s someone that doesn’t like to show weakness, so to have his own body betray him, showing everyone just how weak he was…it must’ve eaten him up inside. Just like before, Atsushi hesitantly reaches over for him, his hand gently gripping Akutagawa’s upper arm. They stay like that for a little while before Atsushi realizes there’s something he can do to help, and he quietly slips off the couch and heads back to the kitchen. Since Akutagawa’s lesson was cut short, he still doesn’t know how to brew a proper cup of tea, but he doesn’t have time to dwell on that.

Taking a sip of the finished product, Atsushi wrinkles his nose at how bitter it is, and he’s not sure if it’s because he over-brewed it or because that’s what the tea actually tastes like. At this point a gross, bitter, hot cup of tea is better than nothing. Knowing full well that Akutagawa is going to complain about it, he reluctantly brings the cup back to the living room. He presents the cup to the other, who simply stares at it like he’s showing him something otherworldly.

“Here, apparently it’s good for coughs and your respiratory system,” he says, and he tenses as thin fingers take the mug from him.

All it takes is one sip, and Akutagawa pulls the cup away from his lips to scowl at him.

“I know, I know it sucks, I know I can’t make a cup of tea to save my life, but…I also know you’re probably in a lot of pain right now, and since you didn’t want me calling for help this is the best I can do without feeling utterly useless to you. So, please…drink the tea.”

Atsushi’s words are a frantic, jumbled mess, but now of all times he doesn’t want to deal with the other’s snobbish behavior. Akutagawa gives him a look of surprise, and he averts his gaze to the side as he clenches his jaw. Instead of saying anything, he brings the cup back to his mouth to take a small sip. Atsushi lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in, and he watches as Akutagawa slowly drinks his tea. The mug is handed back to once it’s empty, and Atsushi mutters a ‘thank you’ before taking it back to the kitchen. He seats himself next to Akutagawa again, and this time the silence that falls over them is comfortable.

“…Here,” Akutagawa mutters, and Atsushi notes that his voice sounds a lot better.

He watches as the other slips a hand into his left pant pocket, and once he removes it, Akutagawa extends his closed fist towards Atsushi. Tilting his head to the side, his brown quirks in curiosity as he brings his own hand out to receive whatever is being given to him. Something drops into his palm, and Atsushi brings it back to he can inspect it more closely. It’s a charm, and dangling on the end of the thin black strap is a small disk with a chibi illustration of one of the idols he likes. Akutagawa says he won it from a capsule machine near his job, adding that giving it to him is a better option than letting it collect dust somewhere since she isn’t one of his favorites.

Atsushi looks between the charm and Akutagawa, and he can hardly stop himself from practically beaming. He’d been given a gift by Akutagawa Ryuunosuke…his friend. It’s hard to describe what he’s feeling, but Atsushi knows the warmness that surges through his body means something good. He’s quick to reel himself in before he says something that could ruin the mood, so he thinks of a better way to deliver the words that are on the tip of his tongue. Of course, he wants to say thank you, but there’s something else he wants to add, something that might be considered overstepping.

“You, um…called me Atsushi earlier,” he says, and he can see Akutagawa’s body go stiff.

“You must have misheard me-”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind if you call me that,” Atsushi quickly interrupts, “so, u-um…is it all right if I call you Ryuu…?”

It goes quiet just as he expects, but he’s more than willing to give Akutagawa all the time he needs to think this over. He’d pretty much dropped a bombshell on him after all, and Atsushi nervously fiddles with the charm in his hand as he waits. He’s already decided that whatever decision Akutagawa makes he’ll respect, though this resolve does nothing to calm his nerves.

“…Fine…” Akutagawa say, eyes seemingly falling on everything but Atsushi.

“R-Really?”

“Yes…”

“Thank you so much! And thank you for the charm,” he feels a blush begin to creep across his face, “R-Ryuu.”

It’s hard to miss the deep red that spread across Akutagawa’s cheeks, extending all the way to the tips of his ears.

#fanfiction #akuatsu #Akutagawa Ryuunosuke #Nakajima Atsushi #Akutagawa/Atsushi

[scorpio-karma]

Tyler Lockwood for the meme

How I feel about this character: 

Love him. He’s one of the most well rounded characters and has the most development of all of them. He goes from an complete asshole and near rapist to a loyal, loving, caring person I could respect, and did the transformation in an entirely convincing way. He is the redemption arc the writers wished the “anti-heroes” of the show had and yet they took no notes from it.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Bonnie: I think I ship him with her most right now. This is a ship I most ship due to fanfiction but fanfic is making me realize how compatible they would be. I already headcanon that they lost their virginity together, but there was a whole lot more they could have done with them. First they’re the only of their kind that’s a main character, they’re the only POC’S and as such they’re the worst treated characters, and they’re both very loyal and understand that the stakes are higher than Mystic Falls (Tyler moreso than Bonnie). They have so man parallels it’s ridiculous, I have a post in my drafts that notes them and when I’m finished I will post it. Secondly, this is more of a symptom of fanfic, but they’re so adorable together especially added with the fact that they’ve known each other they’re whole lives and it plays out so well in fanfic and would have played out really well in the show. And lastly, it’s one of those many, many ships that we were robbed of due to Plec’s racism, so not getting them makes me want them even more.

Caroline: Despite the fact that Tyler gets paired with her because Plec didn’t want him with Bonnie, and despite the fact that she’s the reason he has his screen time cut, Forewood was quite cute together. 4x06 has soured a lot of my initial feelings about them together but in the long run they were cute together in the time they had. 

Jeremy: I mildly ship this one, I do wish they wouldn’t have stopped their screen time together but something bothers about the idea that they only reason Jeremy cares about him is because he has a crush on him and vise versa. This one that I can’t quite separate the TVD writing with the ship because I know that’s exactly how Plec would play it out and then both characters would have ended up dead by the end of the season. But separating the ship from the writing it could have been great and added more depth to Tyler’s character, but I never felt he was missing much depth. He’s the character they unknowingly gave the most depth and then ignored. All in all it’s a solid ship for him.   

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Matt: Face it, he was a good friend to Tyler despite Tyler not being the best friend back to him, which does change, and he’s the only one to show any emotions at his funeral. He’s also always there to make him feel better when he’s seriously down and Tyler gave him his house. I can’t discount aby of that, Matt is Tyler’s best friend. 

Jeremy: He’s on here again, but I guess that’s because I like them more as friends. I like it when romance isn’t the driving factor for two characters to interact which is probably why I latched on to them more as friends when I watched the show before they completely dropped them all together

Bonnie: I’m putting her on here again because with how much they have in common added with growing up together I find it ridiculous that they aren’t at the very least friends. She brought him back from the dead for Christ sake they should have definitely been on more friendly terms (and he should have at least thanked her for it).

My unpopular opinion about this character

He is the worst treated male character on the show which doesn’t sound that unpopular, but most people think that Stefan is the worst treated because he lost Elena, or Matt because he’s against vampires, or Jeremy because he’s compelled to forget a lot. Tyler was the worst treated male and Bonnie was the worst treated female which isn’t surprising since they’re both POC’s. He’s shoved off screen for unnecessary amounts of time, has his major developments with his werewolfism??? developed off screen and is put through the most physical pain compared to not only the the other male characters, but as a werewolf. When you see the other werewolves turn they are never in as much pain as Tyler was. His treatment as a character almost completely mirrors Bonnie’s the only difference is that it’s to a much lesser degree and on some level it can be seen as retribution for his behavior in season 1 where Bonnie never did anything to deserve that. However that brings up another issue which is why is he the only one to have to pay and in such a violent manner, but let’s not go down that rabbit hole.

He was more important to the plot than Caroline. That one actually is objectively an unpopular opinion especially with how beloved Caroline is. But I’ve pointed it out before, Caroline is a run of the mill vampire in a show filled with vampires and Tyler is the sole werewolf on a show that just kills them off like they’re nothing. He could have easily been who they explore werewolves and they’re lore through, but they brought on Hayley and chose to explore it on another show. Although note something: Tyler doesn’t spend that much time as a werewolf–he triggers it at the beginning of S2 and is a hybrid by the beginning of S3–and when he becomes a hybrid, he becomes one of many, losing what made him unique as a character making him just like everyone else because the Hybrids were mostly enhanced vampire in the way that vampires were just enhanced human. I could theorize that that was the first step in tearing down his character, but we don’t have that kind of time.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

There are a lot of things I wish for this character but I guess if I’m going to narrow it down to one it would be for him to have never been a Hybrid. That’s when he completely loses his agency and becomes a slave to Klaus, that’s when the show started shoving him off screen more, but only to facilitate Klaroline, and that’s when his story stops being his own and he’s just lumped together with the rest of the MFG and is expected to follow along with them. If he’d have stayed a werewolf, I have no doubt that his screen time still would have been cut, but it would have given way to explore werewolves and the Lockwood’s more because much like Bonnie there’s a bit a mystery there with Tyler and how little was known about the curse. (But make it known thee’s A LOT MORE not known about the Bennett’s and more potential there.) Tyler staying a werewolf left a lot more potential for his character and would have screwed him over waay less just due to not being a slave alone, but in a lot more ways.

#asks #tyler lockwood #ask meme

[baegin-ace-blog]

Oh Juliet, Juliet, wherefore art thou Juliet: Why I (sometimes) Love Romance in Fiction

I love to read. A lot.  I read everyday on the train and before bed.  I read a little of everything: non-fiction, sci-fi, fantasy, historical fiction, mystery, young adult, you name it.  And anyone who’s spent any amount of time with me watching shows or movies knows how angry and annoyed I get at the romantic subplots in a lot of media.  So it might surprise you to learn that I devote a significant amount of my time to reading romantic fiction.

The big question here is why?  As an unromantic person who rolls their eyes at romantic subplots, why am I so obsessed with romance in fiction?  And it’s not just books and fanfiction, although a good portion of my favorites are there.  I do also enjoy romance in tv and film sometimes too.  So what’s going on here?  Well to answer that question, we need to talk a bit about the mainstream portrayal of romance.

I often find romance as portrayed in media as deeply flawed.  Either the relationship itself is not healthy or the characters don’t seem to mesh correctly.  One of my least favorite kinds is the tendency of shows to end with their lead man and woman winding up in a relationship at the end of the series.  Now sometimes this dynamic works, so long as the characters have been building up to this point, but often times it doesn’t work because it is a last minute get-together for the sake of heterosexuality.  Two examples I can think of off the top of my head are Kim Possible and Warehouse 13 (two shows I love dearly, so don’t hate me!).  In KP, the two main characters, Kim and Ron, spend the whole series as bffs; there are never any psuedo-romantic moments between them.  Their friendship is very comfortable, they never show any desire to be a couple, and are very supportive of the other’s dating life.  Then, in the movie, all of sudden I’m supposed to believe they’re into each other? Just like that, with no leadup at all? And then, in the last season, the entire dynamic of their relationship completely changes once they're dating!  It was awful!  Part of what made KP so much fun was the subversion of gender roles they played with, but as soon as their male and female leads started dating, they fell back into the same old patterns. I was supremely disappointed.

In a similar vein, in Warehouse 13, main characters Myka and Pete spend the whole show with a brother/sister dynamic.  Somewhere in the last season Pete realizes he likes Myka, but she doesn’t realize she likes him back until the last episode.  It’s played out really sloppy.  There’s no significant build up to these relationships, they just happen, as if the endgame of all male-female friendships is always romance.  Not only is this not true, it damages real male-female friendships by making society expect them to always end in romance.  

But now let’s look at an example of romance done right: the best slow-build relationship show ever, Leverage.  Leverage is my favorite live-action show of all time.  It’s absolutely wonderful, and part of the reason why is the respect it has for its characters.  The romances that unfold on the show have a long and realistic progression.  They aren’t rushed, they aren’t forced, and they follow the character arcs already in place with the plot.  While in other shows I will roll my eyes at romantic scenes, every Hardison/Parker scene has me squealing and clutching my chest.  Why? Because their romance is believable; it makes sense for who they are as characters, the developments that do happen only occur when they feel right for where they are in their character arcs, and overall, the culmination of their romance becomes rewarding to watch, not just another plot point to check off the list.  

So I have no problem with romance plots, as long as it’s done with intent; if the romance is thrown in as a way to give our characters something to do or to show their desirability, I’m out.  If the romance is well developed, paced, and executed, then I am right there squeeing along with all of you.  This is also why I read a lot of romantic fanfiction.  People who don’t read fanfiction have a very limited view on what it is.  They either think it’s all bad teenage writing with Mary-Sue author-stand-ins or all erotica with bad sex scenes (side bar: sex scenes in published novels are often a million times MORE awful, when compared to some of the scenes I’ve read in fanfiction. Seriously, I don’t understand).  And yes, fanfiction can most definitely be both of these things.  There are TONS of really, really bad fanfictions out there, just as there are tons of really, really bad published novels too. But just like I’ve read lots of great novels, I’ve also read the best “novels” of my life in fanfiction (Sansukh, you superstar, I’m looking at you).  I admit, though, that most of fanfiction plots either involve or are about some romantic pairing.  The really good ones, of course are about more: action, adventure, horror, mystery. However, the core of fanfiction is character relationships and digging out emotions over plot, and one thing a fanfiction can do well is a good romance.

Now, again, obviously there are bad fanfictions, do not get me wrong.  There are fics with unhealthy romances and fics where the romances make no sense and so on.  But because fanfiction is a genre largely devoted to fleshing out already existing character interactions and relationships into romance, already each story starts with a base of character interactions to build the romance upon.  Fanfiction is a medium about filling in the blanks of media, and so these romances can often follow the path I wish mainstream romances followed.  And, yeah, I’ve read my fair share of truly awful fanfictions, but I’ve also read more good ones than I’ve seen romances in media that I find appealing.  

Another great thing about fanfiction: it tends to be super gay.  Obviously there’s nothing wrong with the standard heterosexual romance, but I honestly find queer romances to be 100% more interesting, if given the choice.  Gay/lesbian? Sign me up! Trans/genderqueer? Wonderful! Happy, consensual polyamory? Please!  And also, heterosexual romances are often written in very sexist  and problematic ways.  The women are like prizes, the relationships often involve coercion or unhealthy power dynamics, and the standard tropes of miscommunication and lying really bug me.  That’s also why I tend to love shows with openly queer characters so long as the characters are written with care and respect.  A fine example: Steven Universe.  Not only is the show amazing in terms of story, mythology, character, and humor, but it also has amazing representation of the LBGT+ community.  Lesbian characters, bi/pan characters, genderqueer characters, and the deconstruction of gendered expressions.  I adore it!  So it’s no wonder that I love romantic fanfiction that explores the nuances of queer relationships.  (And, no, I won’t deny that fanfiction has a tendency to skew towards male/male, has a track record of mistreating female characters, and often fetishizes gay relationships; all valid criticisms! The bad exists; I happen to be talking mostly about the good in this post).

So the question we started with: why does a mostly aromantic person like to read romance?  And the answer is, well, I’m not sure, really.  I don’t know what it is that draws me to well-written romance stories.  I don’t know why they make me squee in happiness and fill me with joy.  I suppose you could ask why some people really like reading/watching shows about serial killers.  It’s not like they want to become killers (we hope); it’s that there’s something (darkly) fascinating about killers to them.  Same for me: there’s something fascinating and rewarding about good romance stories.  I can’t explain it, I can only say it’s so.  So definitely expect me to tear apart romances in fiction, especially when I think they are poorly done.  But also expect to find me reading large quantities of romance and squealing over the results.  I contain multitudes of likes and dislikes.

#asexuality #romance #fanfiction #romance in fiction #romance in media

[advancedpottery217x2]

Tears to Tiara: A Return to One’s Roots

It’s been a year since I finished Tears to Tiara: Kakan no Daichi and I feel that the game (and series) has influenced me quite a bit. In this post I will try to explain why and describe my thoughts on fiction in general.

Update (May 10, 2019): Added some things near the end because it was something I swear I was going to put in but I somehow forgot.

I will say this first: A large part of why I like Tears to Tiara so much is because the compatibility level between me and Marui Takeshi is very high. Only by realizing this after finishing TtT1 and rereading some of his work have I come to accept how much his writing has shaped my interests.

I feel that the Tears to Tiara series in which he is the planner and main writer of embodies many of the ideals written about in past works while opening it up to wider audiences (who will be the hero who reads Routes???).

No matter what anyone says, I believe that the most important theme present in this series is “kindness“.

This is what struck me the most after finishing TtT1. Tears to Tiara is a story built on the willingness to be open and kind towards yourself and others, to have the strength to take action and the responsibility to support the people you care about no matter the situation, to be human and humanistic.

While these may seem like empty words at first glance, I never felt that way about the scenario even once. A large part of that is due to the harmony between the voice acting and the text.

I feel that Marui’s text is very good at bringing out the emotions and inner workings of the characters, and sometimes I’ve felt like emotions were pouring out from the onscreen text itself (don’t ask me how this works I don’t really understand how I get this feeling either). While it does sometimes feel a bit long or indirect, it is not unnecessary text by any means and the specific wording used serves to envelop your mind into the workings of the characters and the world they live in. There is a certain steady, rhythmic pace to the dialogue that makes advancing the text feel very satisfying which kept me wanting to continue the game. The voice acting has just the tempo and amount of emotional weight to match, making it almost sound like a story is being read to you.

The wording of the dialogue combined with the voice acting makes lines that would not be considered quotable (aka 名言 level) in most cases still memorable and riveting nonetheless, which is a big part of why I am so fascinated with Marui as a writer. Here is a scene from the beginning of the game to try to show what I mean:

The story-like nature is heightened by the fact that the game has almost no narration (地の文), with what little there is usually being voiced (in fact, I don’t recall there being any unvoiced narration in TtT2). This leaves the weight of the narrative into the hands of the dialogue, and the performances of each voice actor must be dramatic enough to match. It feels quite dramatic in the theater sense, which is also helped by the fact that the protagonist’s sprite is shown nearly every time they speak. This heightens the sense of being a third person looking into a world as opposed to feeling like being in that world, although I was never really one to self-insert into the protagonist in the first place. Tears to Tiara is the first game I played where I can say that the “protagonist” is my favorite character without hesitation.

These emotions make it feel like the characters are speaking from the depths of their hearts, without any deception or obfuscation. It makes me believe that they will see everything through to the end, that none of it is for show. It is a bit hard to describe in words, but there is no mistaking the fact that I feel sincerity radiating from the characters. This sincerity is one of the main reasons why I like pretty much every character, which doesn’t happen to me that much (I also feel this way about Routes).

The text is also good at conveying just the right amount of information at the right time. There were some lines that I could tell were foreshadowing the first time around, but I was surprised to see just how many there were when looking at some scenes for a second (or third, or fourth...) time.

I feel that this 構成力 is best exhibited in Kusakabe Yuuki’s route in ToHeart2. It took me one and a half hour to clear from start to finish when I replayed it recently, but each event presents information about Yuuki, her relationship with Takaaki, and/or the plot of the route that reveals itself at the end. Discovering how much was shown right from the very first meeting with her was interesting, and going through each scene thinking “So this is what that was referring to...“ was very fun. I had a similar experience with Kajiwara Yuuna’s route in Routes (coincidentally or not, both of these characters are voiced by Satou Rina).

All of these factors also pair well with the other aural element, the music. As briefly touched upon in my previous post, the use of the soundtrack in TtT1 made me conscious of this aspect in other games, although I think the only other works that have approached this level from what I’ve played are the Dai Gyakuten Saiban series from Capcom. It has long been my conviction that Aquaplus’s strongest suit is music and sound (the music in Routes is what actually got me into Aquaplus as a whole) and there is little that would convince me that Tears to Tiara is not the pinnacle of those abilities. The interplay between the BGM, vocal songs, and the scenario is a sight (or sound) to behold, and this only improves in TtT2. My hours with the series have formed deep emotional attachments to the music within me and to this day can get me to cry the most consistently.

The amount of emotion found in the music is truly a strange thing, as I found out for myself a few months after finishing TtT1. It was when I decided to listen to the PC/Gaiden OP song Tears to Tiara. I felt a wave of nostalgia which I thought to be very strange. After all I had just completed the game and it was too early to become an old favorite or anything. Nonetheless, I felt like I had returned home and was filled with a sense of peace and comfort (or maybe this is my Nakayama Arisa bias from Routes). This made me listen to the soundtrack through the lens of “nostalgia” which ended up bringing out more emotion than I thought possible.

Revisiting scenes only serves to remind me how all of these elements work together to get the story’s messages and themes across as a coherent experience. I enjoyed myself immensely, with engaging and important scenes happening throughout the story from the very beginning to the end, although of course most of them are at the end. It blends both 燃え and 萌え (of the male characters for both properties tbh) making it easy for me to recommend to other people actually.

The amount of research done into the names and historical background of the setting is also something I really like, making it feel more inclined towards history than fantasy (historical fantasy?) at times. Marui is a self-proclaimed 設定オタク (seen in the 05.03.30 entry here) and it shows, mainly by my many trips to Wikipedia to see why something is a certain name and what historical events mirror those in the game. He’s even written about one of the trips he’s taken to Europe/Africa and how it influenced some of the locations in TtT2. This kind of attention to detail makes my own research all the more worthwhile (TtT made me realize that I did the same thing in Routes for the Heian/Kamakura periods in Japan...).

In the past year, I’ve been thinking about why and how this series means so much to me and I think I’ve finally found the words to explain these feelings.

To put it simply, I found what I have been looking for in fiction in Tears to Tiara. My foray into visual novels started with a friend recommending me Umineko, but the first one that I chose to start myself was White Album 2 (Skip the next paragraph if you don’t want my backstory).

Part of the reason why I chose this is tied to how I started learning Japanese. It was the summer between middle school and high school and I figured it might be useful in the future. I taught myself kana, read some of the Tae Kim grammar guide, and installed Rikaichan on the suggestion of a friend. Soon I was able to navigate webpages and search results with a bit of confidence. At that time I was beginning to run out of English fan art/fiction of a certain fictional couple that was not very popular. This led to me going through Japanese search results and finding fanfiction in a language that I was not quite used to reading yet, but was willing to try with Rikaichan. I rapidly consumed what I could find leading to my reading skills greatly improving, but that was not the only thing that increased. I had already sensed at the time that I was not interested much in real world romance and so looked to fictional romance instead. This led to me looking for fiction focused on the romantic (Romantic) and emotional elements. While White Album 2 satisfied this desire, I continued to search (and will continue) for something more.

To me, Tears to Tiara is a work of fiction I’ve always wanted; it is unapologetically emotional, unapologetically passionate, and above all, unapologetically positive. There were times where I could only sheepishly grin at a character’s idealistic goals, but I could rest assured that their companions would help them ensure a future where they could be realized. There were times where a character’s despair would wring out the pathos within me, but I could rest assured that someone would be there to hear and validate their worries, to support them when they get the courage to face their problems, and to share the happiness when things get resolved.

Negative feelings are treated as a natural part of being human, as something that must be given equal attention to as positive feelings. To be human is to both give and receive, and to possess the insight to discern how much energy one should spend in each category.

These might seem like obvious things, but Tears to Tiara made me seriously think about these concepts and how they could apply to my life. It is a game that gives importance to feelings that are easy to pass off as “weak” or “cliché” (this is also a reason why I like Kitto, Sumiwataru Asairo Yori mo, a lot).

This made me reevaluate what kind of 感動 I want to experience in fiction. It is not that I want to cry. In reality, I did not cry much while playing the games themselves. It was after I had enough time to think about the consequences of each event and how they connected to each other that I could not hold back the urge to shed tears. It feels much better to cry for the accumulation of a character’s growth and the happiness they acquire over an event that takes those things away. This is the secret behind how the soundtrack can get me to cry consistently: the happiness I feel brings me to an emotional high that has a high probability of being accompanied by tears. When I revisit a scene, the parts I feel emotionally overwhelmed by are usually “slice of life” ones. The nature of the text (described above) combined with the knowledge of future events make the characters all the more precious.

In the end, Tears to Tiara to me a work that is about nostalgia: for the past, present, and future. It is about the joy of being alive and living in a world that possesses beauty all around if you care to look. It is a series whose music and characters I can reliably gain motivation from, and I sincerely hope that more people get their own meanings from it.

それは決して 悲しい物じゃなく 強くて優しい

―― Until (Nakayama Arisa)

3はよ

[keydav]

Guess who has a new ship, y'all. Guess who's new ship is a rarepair so tiny she's already gone through every scrap of fan fiction for them on ao3 she can find. GUESS WHO JUST WANTS MORE SOULMATE/SOULMATE-MARK AUS FOR THIS PAIR.

#this bitch #eyyyy #winterscience #winter solstice #its #bucky x jane #okay #give me more soulmate aus #i feel like this pair already has a surprising amount given how little fanfiction there actually is #but i want moreeee