Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Adventures of Tintin (2011)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Milou | Snowy & Tintin, Archibald Haddock & Tintin
Characters: Tintin (Tintin), Milou | Snowy, Archibald Haddock
Additional Tags: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Depression, No Dialogue, Internal Monologue, Mental Health Issues, Past Torture, Past Violence, Worry, Scars, Bruises, Animal Abuse, Vulnerability, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Repressed, Heavy Angst, Major Character Injury, Beating, Drowning, Electrocution, Flashbacks, Insults, Stabbing, Sadism, Beds, Starvation, Catatonic Tintin, Delirium, Anger, Rage, Dissociation, Inspired by Music, Showers, Pain, Agony, Whump, Whumptober, Whumptober 2023, no.24, I’ve got a head full of chemicals; mouth full of ridicule., Neglect, no.29, I only sink deeper the deeper I think., Troubled Past Resurfacing, Self-Reflection, Tears, inspired by 'jabberwocky' by redhook, it is extremely suitable, song is sung by a sexual assault/trauma survivor, i highly recommend it it's so GOOD and so so SO important
Series: Part 16 of Tintin Whumptober 2023
Summary: "Even on a beautiful sunny day when the flowers were at their brightest and you could smell the freshness in the air, he didn’t want to go out. He didn’t have the energy to.
When Tintin did have a shower, it was often to only stare at the bathroom wall, or sit down in it, knees up to his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs.
At least the constant pattering of water during a shower was relaxing, and drowned out the flashbacks."
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you want to be understood?
speak, then. make yourself understood, then.
easier said than done, of course.
of course, the words are stubborn.
the words stick, the words fold, the words dissipate in the heat of your mouth.
speak? I’m speaking, mouth open and words come flooding, horrible and wet, between us.
understand me, but the form of them is coiling pitifully like some sad parasite. not a thing you’d want to touch.
understand me, and my hand passing those inches to touch a meaning to skin shimmers into a different shape. not the caress I meant to convey.
I understand; no understanding between us, no matter the rituals undertaken -
all matter of rituals overtaken by distance; overtaken by self.
grasp hands, meet eyes, bleed out - still the color that flows from you is redder, then greener, then bluer than mine.
understanding, my gun and your gavel. your song, my scream. my lifeless corpse and you standing over it, shaking your head with disappointment.
understand, then: nothing.
- z
. The Dead Anon Poets Society .
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
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Sometimes I remember that the only reason Cas is canonically a weirdo even by angel standards is just because Misha, the first onscreen angel, made the acting choice to portray angels as inhuman and eerie, and then all of the subsequent angel actors just ignored that and portrayed the angels as regular people.
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