#i need to finish the book and then re read it and make annotations to get all my thoughts down

[strawberrybouvine]

I got a little further into House of Leaves and I wanna write an essay about it so baaaad

#i need tag for my talks on this book #🏡🔷🍃 tag #that'll work lol #buuut the horror thats been introduced so far is so good ! #and watching navy and karens relationship dynamic change is so fascinating #not to mention truants rambles #just the themes of isolation and communication failure #and the drive of curiosity and exploration and the self destruction tied into it #like aaaaa !! #i need to finish the book and then re read it and make annotations to get all my thoughts down #house of leaves #jester jabber™

[the---hermit]

16|11|2023

Today was mainly dedicated to working on recorded lectures of my men theories and power practices class. I fortunately am close to the end, I think in a couple of weeks I'll be finally be all done. Today I also got part of the books I will need to read for the philosophy class I started this week and it's surely going to be something. To get the idea out Sade is part of the program and even though I knew what to expect flipping through the book I was not impressed to say the least. Surely after the lectures I'll have enough context to understand the philosophical background, but reading very nsfw stuff for uni was not on my bingo card this year. Also for some stupid reason the fact that it's stuff published in the late 1700s makes it even weirder, which is definitely to show how fucked up our view of the past generally is. I'll surely have weird updates in the upcoming months because the reading list for the class is unhinged.

cozy hobbit autumn activities and productivity:

read first thing in the morning

watched and annotated a whole recorded lecture of my men theories and power practices class and also worked on over a half of another lecture I'll be finishing tomorrow

started to create a very detailed to do list of the matierials I have to study for the various exams I am working on (it will take a couple of days at least to put together the whole thing, but have a clear overview of everything makes me feel much more in control of what I am doing)

crocheted a bit and continued my tma re-listening (I am all done with season two!)

wrote a couple of book reviews I'll be editing and posting as soon as I can

daily Irish practice on duolingo

today's self care:

I did go back to my 6.20ish morning routine and half an hour of additional sleep was great because I have been quite tired lately

took my meds and took as many breaks as I needed while studying in order to stay focused and productive

started working on my master to do list for the classes I am studying for

📖: Odyssey by Homer

#studyblr #studyinspo #uniblr #university #student #student life #journal #journaling #studying #notebook #productivity #self care #cozy hobbit autumn #mine #the---hermit

[bookaddict24-7]

2024 Reading Goals!

I'm always a bit more lax with my reading goals because I never really know how a year is going to treat me--the last thing I need is stress over my reading (which is admittedly my biggest escape from life). BUT with that being said, making some goals that aren't set in stone is always a fun exercise!

Eleven Reading Goals I'd Like to Achieve in 2024:

Read at least 250 books. (I listen to a lot of audiobooks, so this isn't usually a major stress factor. Even if I wanted to read less, my reading addiction wouldn't really allow it. When I'm not reading, I'm thinking about reading. It's just who I am. BUT keep in mind that this is my goal based on my reading habits. everyone has a different reading habit!)

Finish, or nearly finish the Sookie Stackhouse series. (Of course, this is super dependant on when I get the audiobooks from the library LOL.)

Finish the books on my desk. (I have...a few started books on here. It's cluttering up the space and I feel like I just really want to read them but I'm a mood reader, so...)

(Fourth Wing is a re-read that I was annotating and dropped when something new came out and my attention was stolen away.)

4. Read a few books from each bookshelf of my bedroom. (I already went through the shelves last week and assigned myself a handful of books or so from each shelf for each month of 2024. I just want to specifically target some of the books on my shelves to encourage myself to read more of my owned books. Maybe I should share that progress on here to keep myself accountable. Hm...)

5. Continue to DNF books I don't like. (This is a practice I've been using for the last couple of years, but I also want to remind anyone reading this that it is OK to put down that book you're not vibing with. Life is too short.)

6. Read more formats, not just audiobooks. (I LOVE audiobooks and owe them so much. But I also do sometimes miss having the attention span to read physically. I read a lot more physical books in November & December and I loved it. Also, I pay for KU, so I might as well use it more in 2024.)

7. Try to buy less books. (Seriously, I've gone off the deep end in the last four months. I need to rein it back in. Maybe I should keep a monthly track of it to remind myself not to do the book buying thing as much.)

8. Diversify my reading even more. (Pretty self-explanatory, I think.)

9. Continue to review every book I read this year. (I've been doing this for the past couple of years and it has felt both a bit overwhelming and super rewarding. I love that I can look back on these last few years and read my opinion of whatever books I read during those years.)

10. Unhaul more books. (Life is too short and my shelves are too full to keep books I felt meh about, or don't think I need. Trust me: the first unhaul is the hardest, but after that, it's a little too easy to unhaul books.)

11. Read more of my ARCs. (They are currently staring at me from their designated shelves. I WILL read my very old ARCs at some point in my life, hopefully some will be in 2024.)

___

What are some of your goals for 2024?

___

Thank you for being with me throughout another year of book blogging and post sharing! I hope everyone has a fantastic year full of reading and good health!

___

Happy reading!

#Reading Goals 2024 #Reading Goals #book blog #book blogger #readers of tumblr #booklr #books and reading #books #read #reading #bookish #features #bookworm #bookaholic #books and literature #books books books #bookblr #reading thoughts #text post #confessions #confessions of a book addict #2024 #new year 2024 #new year resolutions #on books #on reading #reader #my life as a book addict #my life as a reader

[theghostofashton]

wip wednesday

thank you @sanjuwrites for the tag!

back to the au for a bit so i don’t give my other fic entirely away in these snippets lol

Carlos checks his watch. 1:42. He’s still got a few minutes until Paul’s office hours start, but it’s kind of a walk from where he parked near the student center.

He cuts through a courtyard, which looks new. He doesn’t remember this being here when he toured the campus, now over a decade ago. It’s really nice; there are a lot of flowers blooming and picnic tables set up on the grass for people to sit and study. Days like today are perfect for that.

A few feet ahead, there are two guys sitting next to each other on one side of a picnic table, books spread out in front of them. One is dark-haired and the other is blond. There isn’t an inch of space between their bodies, Blond’s right arm pressed against Dark-Hair’s left.

As Carlos passes by, Dark-Hair lifts his arm and wraps it around Blond’s shoulders, tugging him toward him and pressing a kiss against his head. Blond grins at him and pecks his lips, then slides his arm around Dark-Hair’s waist and tugs him even closer.

The image feels like being transported in time. Central Park benches, a book open across his thighs, TK’s arm firm and heavy around his waist, his snores soft in Carlos’s ears. The kisses he placed in TK’s hair, the way his hand would slip underneath the fabric of TK’s hoodie and feel his skin warm against Carlos’s own. Some days, TK would bring a book too – usually only the days he needed to cram for class, honestly – but most of the time he’d just nap. Carlos grew used to it, after a while. He had to re-learn how to read in silence after the breakup.

He swallows hard and keeps his head down as he makes his way through the courtyard and toward Burdine Hall. When he climbs the stairs to the 3rd floor, the first door on his right is wide open, with a doorstop jammed in at the bottom. Inside, Paul is sitting behind a desk and scribbling on a notepad.

Carlos knocks a couple times on the door as he steps inside. Paul looks up, and his face breaks into a wide smile.

“Hey, man.”

Carlos accepts his hug, exhaling at the way Paul’s arms tighten around him.

Carlos is in the chair in front of his desk, and feels strangely like a kid called down to the principal’s office from this vantage point. Paul being dressed in a fitted blazer and wearing a tie doesn’t really help.

Paul asks how he’s been, and Carlos answers honestly, because things have been good. Until yesterday, things felt like the best they had been in a long time. Spring break has been good to him, and he’s excited to finish out the rest of the year with his students. The last big assignment of the year is one where they finally get to chose their own books to speak to the class about, and he can’t wait to hear what they come up with. Cooking on Sundays with his mom and eating dinner with his family makes his heart warm in a unique way that feels reserved for them. Everything is – was – good.

“What’s up?” Paul asks, after he’s caught Carlos up on his research. Sometimes Carlos wishes he’d gone for the PhD instead of just leaving grad school with his masters. The stuff Paul is working on is so fascinating. Carlos spent weeks reading his dissertation when that was published, highlighting and annotating different parts, and called Paul and talked his ear off about all of them. He wishes that were what he was here to talk about today.

tagging: @carlos-in-glasses @reyesstrand @bonheur-cafe @paperstorm @lightningboltreader 

#neha writes #exes to lovers au #tarlos

[missyourflight]

some stuff i read and watched in september:

my brilliant friend (s1-3): had a bit of ferrante fever and rinsed through this, i think it's v well done as an adaptation -- it's been so long since i read the first couple of books that the casting of the lads made them feel much more vivid than i remembered, also i Need to go to florence

foundation (s2): honestly entertainment peaked with deranged space emperor clone lee pace spitting blood in ben daniels' face and snarling i fucking love it, hope to see it back in 2-3 years probably!

the gold: finally got around to this bc they were talking about it on the watch lol, very cool the way it sort of sprawls out from the original heist and just keeps going, classic dcoop sketchiness, still mulling over casting jack lowden as lymond bc what other blonde scottish actors even are there

starstruck (s3): ROSE MATAFEO FOREVER etc. this season pretty much an anti-romcom which i'm on board with, the friendship stuff fucked me up, not to get into but phew re: being single in your thirties while all your friends are having kids etc

passages: really liked this but somehow didn't love it quite as much as i expected to, franz ben adele perfect, whishaw really come full circle since basically playing the franz role in cock at the royal court lol, beautiful knitwear outfits homewares

the best years of our lives: like 3 hours long but doesn't feel it, quietly devastatingly empathetic story of returning ww2 veterans, i need to watch the five come back series on netflix bc william wyler is so so good

a haunting in venice: i would also like to go to venice, kenbran's having fun at least my dutch angle king, i hope they keep letting him make these forever although i also rewatched tenet and nothing here tops the part where he jogs slowly backwards through time

the broken hearts gallery: the best of a bunch of recent-ish romances i watched, geraldine viswanathan is a Star

michael clayton: somehow hadn't seen this before but very satisfying like corporate thriller, tom wilkinson and tilda are great, i want to rewatch andor now

elena ferrante, the story of the lost child: finally finished the neapolitan novels, fuck me up elena. can't think of a comparable series of like adult novels that go this hard for me, maybe st aubyn? yowl

colin walsh, kala: this ripped actually, loved like the irish specificity of the voices

james frankie thomas, idlewild: literally took critical damage every time i had to read the word HoYay but this was great and painful about like being a horrible little queer teenager and codependent friendships and livejournal and annotated fanfiction etc

marilynne robinson, gilead: ow i loved this, i think it's a real skill to make like goodness compelling, looking forward to being devastated by the rest of the series etc

sylvia townsend warner, lolly willowes: 🧙‍♀️🍂🌝

katie kitamura, intimacies: more things should be set at the courts in the hague tbh! made me think about translation a lot and also black earth rising

cat sebastian, we could be so good: sometimes you just want to read a gay romance about being in love with your best friend innit

operation mincemeat: omg i actually went to the theatre, this was silly and very much The British Hamilton but i loved it and i cried and i ordered drinks to my seat, 5 stars etc

the effect: i didn't see the original billie piper staging but i love lucy prebble and i loved this cast, literally paapa essiedu can do anything, kobna holdbrook smith reminded me that i should carry on with the rivers of london audibooks, one in a long list of signs that i should probably talk to someone about my mental health lol

#monthly media #sophposting

[c-a-r-0-l-i-n-e]

I think i’m going to try to start doing 100 days of productivity tomorrow and post a lil record of it on here :)

i’ve been really stressed with school and have also been slacking on keeping things tidy at home so i really need some motivation to use my time better and stay on top of things!!

big goals:

🌟make progress on my research project!!🌟 i have very much been slacking on this because i’m so overwhelmed with day-to-day studies but i need to work on it !!!

stay on top of cleaning things every day

keep up with greek vocab

get better at reading Herodotus!

clean out storage unit

maybe find time to exercise sometimes?? or at the very least make a habit of stretching regularly

start sleeping at least 7 hours every night! (asleep by like 11)

to do tomorrow:

scoop cat litter

email professor about choosing something to do over the summer to try and get funding for it (application due friday!)

make latin flashcards (ch 22)

maybe record an audition for Working Tidal !! 😳

do greek exercises

study Latin ch 21-23

study greek (irregulars, optative, etc)

finish reading greek section 8B, then do 8C

get more birdseed for feeder (Pepper likes to look at the birds)

keep reading Hecuba commentary for research project!! (its a short book girl you should have finished it by now!!)

maybe re-read Hecuba and do some annotations??

study Herodotus vocab

study Herodotus notes

finish greek flashcards for section 7, start section 8

find some relevant articles etc about the Thesmophoria/Arkteia/etc

start reading about the debate over whether or not women would have been in the audience for the City Dionysia etc

and here’s a picture of Pepper, because she’s very pretty

#100 days of productivity #studyblr

[therantsofawriterrr]

i watched rw&rb movie, I'm currently re-reading and annotating it and i just finished binging good omens. Plus there's the 1989 news.

First, amazon i'll give u my kidney for the deleted scenes of rw&rb movie I'M BEGGING YOU AMAZON PLS

second, TAYLOR BESTIE CHILL LEMME PROCESS SNTV VAULT TRACKS FIRST

third, THERE BETTER BE A SCENE WHERE AZIRAPHALE INITIATES THE KISS OR SO HELP ME GOD UGHHHH I NEED THE ANGST SOMEONE TELL ME IF THE BOOK IS GOOD

ugh i hope the strike ends well plssss god let it end well so that we may get more such masterpieces and the said artists who make it get paid pls plsplspls

#good omens #rw&rb movie #red white and royal blue #1989 tv #taylorswift

[someonelookingpraediti]

Currently (re-)Reading...

The Secret History - Donna Tartt

I've been wanting to re-read this book for months, so I decided to make this my first book of 2024, as a buddy read with Ellie.

It was just as good the second time round, and I added a little to my annotations as I went through. I loved reading my thoughts from the first time I read it, and seeing what seemed important to me at the time, and where I was wrong with my assumptions!

Having now read The Goldfinch, and having just started The Little Friend, I can say this is definitely the best of Donna Tartt's books - but weirdly it's because it's technically the least well written? It's simpler, and seems younger, but that makes it more appealing, because it's more relatable, and more readable.

I was hoping such a fun, beautifully written book would give me a good jumpstart to my year, but I just haven't been able to sit down to reading, so it took me almost two weeks to finish! I doubt I'll get more than three books read this month, but at least they'll be really good books!

I'm glad I started my year with this one, I just need to start sitting down to a book and sticking with it. This year, I'm going to: a) try to limit the amount of books I'm reading at once. At the moment I'm reading five books, and it is too many. b) DNF any books I'm not enjoying rather than slogging through them

#currently reading #rereads #the secret history #buddy read #donna tartt

[superhero--imagines]

Okay I just need to say.

Holy shit.

All I can say about your writing is holy shit.

Your so talented.

And then the cliffhanger on every goddam chapter. And the gods are portrayed so realistically, like they have weaknesses and struggles to deal with.

Its just amazing!

Like the detail, and how every adult's main concern is whether or not they are being a good enough parent. It's heartwarming. And just so nice. MC is a wonderfully developed character.

Two questions though.

What was the thought process?

Will there be more?

Great job Sim, you're the best! Keep up the amazing work!

Thank you, omg this means so much!! I’m glad my little stories have entertained you so far!!

So the whole concept was inspired by the isekai genre in Manga where the reader gets transported to their favorite book or story and either inadvertently or purposefully resolves issues in the main story. I originally had this urge to re-write a story with twilight, I felt like an omniscient reader would make all the difference in a story like that. And now that it’s complete I decided to do the same for Percy Jackson after re-reading it for a annotation trade.

The plan right now is to finish the waking up in pjo series (potentially make it into a book as well in long fictitious. Style), and then waking up in Batman!

And as always thank you for the compliments I hope you enjoy the rest of the series!

#Percy Jackson #Percy Jackson x reader #pjo x reader #asks #waking up in pjo

[f0xgl0v3]

Old books And Ye olde Camp Jupiter

NOTE!! The actual stuff about PJO is about 5 paragraphs in; so if you want to slip my bad rambling about two very old epics, I have it headed)

I’ve been reading the Iliad (just finished it, still try to spell it with two L’s 😎) and I’m working on the first books of the Odyssey (with Telemachus doing his thing) and I’ll say; first it was an actual joy, a riot, a rollercoaster, to read the Iliad. There has been very few books where I’ve laughed as much in character dialogue interactions (that sounds so funky but I genuinely did giggle about it) and it was just so silly goofy and fun, and I have it annotated so I can start talking about certain things

And I’ve just started the Odyssey; which it certainly does feel like a sequel (that sounds mean, but it feels the same way that reading daughter of the moon goddess and then heart of the sun warrior; amazing books by the way, go pick them up)

And it’s really fun to consume some version of the original stories and Epics and comparing it to media created with it (I say that like I’ll talk about more than just PJO and the literary choices Rick made on how to interpret and use the gods and stuff. I still am getting around to reading TSOA but it scares me man)

But, I really don’t know what I’m trying to get at

Just that the books are fun and it is generally super fun and interesting to read and even though the first few books of the Odyssey are feeling a bit like a Jason or Piper chapter; I’m pushing through to read Odysseus and his journey; and so I can eventually get to the Aeneid and annoy my friends even more with fun things about Rome and giggle in my classes;

Where the Pjo starts)

Along with that! I’d want to talk more about pre-modern CHB and CJ; seeing as my history class is going through the slog that is colonial history currently and I need someway to stimulate my brain other than writing facts about Mainz Gladius while people are talking about the Salem Witch Trials (my class is feral and gross and they have a big lack of nuance and maturity to think and process the events without being absolute idiots- that sounds mean but they’re annoying and I need to vent)

But I’d like to say there are things we know basically about sides that Greeks and Romans sided on; and because I apparently allergic to discussing Greek demigods at the moment, I’m listing Rome :3

We know that in PJO Roman demigods and the Roman side tends to want to side with rising empires almost inherently; or just rising… things. *cough, cough, the Confederacy, cough, cough*. But aside from that; we can base the ideas that,

1) we can probably confirm that there was a drop in Greco-Roman demigod participation in wars out of the Americas after it (the pantheon and the majority of the demigod groups) moved; though we can probably confirm until after North America became a Economic powerhouse that if following Riordanverse canon; that the Gods moved to New York (if we want to push it, they probably were in Massachusetts in the late 1600s the earliest in America; though I’d say they hadn’t moved until America started like doing good in like what post WII? I think-?)

*A note that is for my Re-imagining, I am seriously considering not moving Pantheons from their native lands; since that leaves a kind of bad taste in my mouth and it makes the Gods and Olympus almost… too accessible for demigods; in the most likely case I’ll pull the Greek Pantheon back onto Olympus in Greece (and I will probably make a point that American demigods can and usually when they need to get to Olympus on their own, can access Olympus through the Olympic mountain range in Washington; I am in Washington, and therefore biased, along with that being the OLYMPIC mountain ranges, I mean, it’s RIGHT THERE guys; how could I not capitalize.) and I might possible move CJ over to being in Italy (though I like the Idea of having CJ just being right there in the Bay Area; before reading tLO and just hearing about them, I thought they were located in Italy, and this all depends on what I do once I start storyboarding Re-imagined) anyway, back on topic,

2) that I’d assume for the most part, as we see that New Rome likes setting Camps up 1) in the west, and 2) near rivers (and we can probably infer it would be somewhat closer to the Equator, or a warmer area). That I think the most likely place that in the Colonial Americas, Romans settled could be,

(This is all using names from Colonial times of Colonies)

A) in British Honduras (Belize); along the Belize river. As we know that Romans supported the British during the revolutionary war, it follows my criteria of being in a warmer climate, and near a river; though it isn’t exactly west, though in proportion to where the early Greek settlers would be, it certainly works, but it puts them far from the revolutionary and just USA so probably not; it’s the middle choice.

B) in New Spain (specifically the portion of California); along the Sacramento River. As Spain was a rising empire at some moment, it is along a river, warm climate, and certainly west. The fact that the Romans would have to be in American territory to still fight in the civil war; so this would be one of my more outlandish concepts.

C) in North Carolina (or just Carolina depending on the time) along the Cape Fear river. This puts them along a river, warm climate, not west but it would be in the direct opposite (as I’d put Greek demigods hiding out amongst the northern colonies or the middle colonies even) and it puts them both in a heavily loyalist (or a colony that supported being part of the British empire) colony; where it would be fitting for them to fight on the side of the Brits, AND a colony that would be in the Confederacy; meaning that they would be in prime position for both wars; I am quite proud of this, and if I needed to put a direct town as example for an area for Romans; I’d say Fayetteville, I’d put the legions settlement across from Fayetteville- in that strip of land between the main Cape Fear river and the river breaking off called south river I think. I am very proud of this one

But yeah! This post originally was going to be about the Iliad and the Odyssey; but I got side-tracked so there are some of my Colonial New Rome ideas, uh, I hope people see the sort of effort I put in for figuring out geological locations for ideas of Camp Jupiter; I might make a post of just a timeline for where Camp has been located through the years- it’s a fun little thought experiment, id also say pre- really big colonialism of the Americas, that the Romans temporarily were first with Spain (I didn’t chose Portugal despite the fact that during that time they had the whole seafaring empire thing, but the Greeks would totally be supporting them) then the Romans go with the British Empire, briefly go down to the confederacy, then stick with America.

#camp jupiter #pjo hoo toa #hoo #idk how to tag this #kind of a rant #ramblings #hoo headcanon #pjo headcanon #Camp Jupiter headcanons #project concepts #hehe :3

[an-awkward-tangerine]

so how is the obisidian zettelkasten going? I'm still collecting links and books to read. I really need to get a note making work cycle going. Do you have any tips?

I currently have 6 books that I started annotating and of which I made a dedicated note with citations and my insight on it. I have 12 more books that I added for future reference but that I'd have to re-read to annotate them. I also have a bunch of articles on various subjects.

As for a note-taking cycle, here's what I do : When I read, I highlight citations that interest me. I try to think about what I want to use them for (Is it a good example of something ? Or an interesting idea/concept ?) and based on that, when I go through them again, I choose the ones I want to keep in my system. The one I keep, I put them in the note dedicated to the book, and them I make a separate note with the complete citations and my insights on it.

Here are some examples :

This is my bibliography, with the books I made a note on and the ones that are still waiting.

This is my note about The Man Who Would Be Queen. Not on screen but I have a habit of putting the ISBN when possible, and I always put the reference as the title in case I want to cite it somewhere.

Here I have my index. I don't name my notes, I just use a number (might change that in the future) so I explain what a note is about in the index to find more easily what I'm searching for. Then there are the citations. The number is linked directly to the note, and vice versa. Since there are a lot of citations, when I'm in the individual note and click on the link, I made it so it send me directly to the relevant citation.

And finally, here is an individual note I took about gay men and the social stigma of femininity. I still struggle to take notes that I find really useful or interesting, and especially I struggle to connect them, but I'll get there someday lol. It's a process.

When I'm lost, I constantly goes back to these two references : https://zettelkasten.de/introduction/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9SLlxaEEXY

THINGS I STRUGGLE WITH :

Citations about things I disagree with. I don't know how to organize them and how to use them in the system to develop new ideas.

Receipts. They normally don't have a place here but I'd still like to have examples of some ideas I develop.

The time it takes. It's very time consuming, but at the same time it will save me so much time in the future.

As I said, linking. I still don't know how to properly link my thinking in this system, probably because feminism is like. Very diverse.

Also I'd like to add that I use Zotero to manage my bibliography, and the WayBack Machine to save webpages that I might need in the future.

To finish this long ass post, I'd like to show you the graph view of my Obsidian, complete with my 213 notes including my psychology course notes.

Red dots are academic notes about psychology, purple dots are for feminism of course, and yellow dots are my sources.

Hope this helped !

#feminism #radblr #radical feminism #radfem safe #radfems please touch #terf safe #terfs please touch #zettelkasten #radical zettelkasten #my notes #my posts

[bisexual-horror-fan]

Bex's Blossom By Kate Winborne Annotations.

Hello, hello, hello! SO! This has been a project that I have been working on since August of 2022. I have been re-reading and annotating Blossom by Kate Winborne or @xmichaelmyers here on tumblr. I love Blossom, it is a fantastic book and when the hardcover update came out I just had to get it! So I did and when I did I thought why not write my thoughts out as I go? I have never annotated a book before. Kate didn’t ask this of me, I am not being paid, this is purely out of the sheer love I have for Kate, her work and these characters. So! Settle in and watch me scream in a spoiler heavy annotation of Blossom. Seriously I talk about spoilery things, if you haven’t read it and want to than please read the book first. 

I am going to annotate the next book After The Lamb Bites Back in smaller chunks as I go when I start reading it soon and will post them here on my blog so you can experience my going insane as it is happening! I will give notice and give this a tag if you wanna blacklist for spoilers! Now, under the cut, let’s get into it! Warnings for me being horny on main and discussions of heavy topics and violence and gore. (P.S. Food is a big thing in this book so I outline what I ate before and during and after my reading sessions to be extra.)

—

Starting at 7:41 PM on August 5th. Blossom Re-read of the hardcover edition. Dinner: Chili lime fish tacos with pickled red onions, salsa and chipotle mayo, drinking whisky and ginger ale over ice, snacking on while reading, salted caramel caramilk bar. 

What Kate wrote inside the cover is still so sweet. As is the foreword, so much love and so much excitement. 

Prolog:

The opening of the women watching their daughters in the park, still hits. That is the first thing from the book I ever read when Kate started posting and it still stands out so well. I want white wine and cheese now. 

It is wild how Kate can drop a fucking line about a throw away character, one we just meet, overdosing three hours later, someone we know nothing of and should not give a fuck about and are made to feel and care. Amazing, haunting, I feel bad for his son. 

THE WHORE IS HERE.

THE TREES KNOW MORE THAN THEY DARE SAY INDEED!

–

Chapter One

–

I love the description of us truly seeing him, it is so evocative. Also. I am weak. Professor Williamson, has such a good ring to it. 

Henry in the showerrrr. All of that is good but the man just going for it and getting off. Amazing image, ten outta ten. 

The man eating one packet of oatmeal and not even finishing it and whiskey for dinner while watching a nature show. This man. He needs someone to cook for him. I am that someone. 

The first sex scene of the book, Henry taking home a woman from Happy’s is short but vivid. A great insight into him. Henry is not satisfied by this encounter, to me, when reading it, the impression that she is seemingly so into it, so close and intimate, doesn’t make him feel comforted or seen, but rather the opposite. It makes him feel more hollow, more aware of the hunger inside of himself. This is one of the parts I kept thinking about knowing this re-read was coming. Henry is entirely unknowable, this woman and her illusion of closeness only serves to remind him of that. No one can know him, there are things about him that no one could ever understand and so he has to hide them, forget about the fact that he does NOT have the ability to allow someone so close to him or tolerate such vulnerability and honesty and emotional intimacy. What a lonely fucking guy. 

The detail of a single hair left behind that he curls around his finger until it breaks really stands out.

He’s got a new casssse!

—

Chapter Two.

—

The casual and consistent use and description of colours is one of my longest standing faves in this book. So effective! 

Henry shoving the bible into the nightstand out of sight? Fucking same dude. My guy!

The man packing the alcohol in his bag so fucking neatly to make sure it is safe. To then get drunk and pass the fuck out. He is not okay.

Ahhhhh this discription of The Town is so fucking good!

“-residing alongside the trauma that coated her tongue like honey, sweet as ripe tangerines, but bitter against the back of her throat like coffee grounds.”  I still think of this line often. It will pop into my head unbidden frequently.

—

Chapter Three.

—

Henry looking down at his medication with disdain before swallowing them down with cold coffee making me like, hey king you need to talk? Need your dick sucked? You know my number get at me.

I would eat at this hotel's breakfast. I really would. 

Blossom is officially here! Vanilla almond milk latte, as someone who has worked in coffee shops since seventeen on and off, reads as a very her drink. 

I have always really loved the description of Bethany. The detail of her avocado socks always stuck out. Considering the use of colour Kate applies throughout the whole book I know I should think of them being just the colour avocado, but part of me likes to think of them as printed with little cartoon avocados and that is cute as fuck and I love it. 

Blossom sees Henry for the very first time! God, the excitement I feel from this is far too much! 

“She wanted to crack him open like an egg, spool through his brains, his guts, burrow herself deep inside his roughness. As if there was a safety to it all. A home in all that damage.” The first line that really hooked me my first read and it still hits. It is a line just so full of, God, promise of so much shit to come.

Henry met Sophie and this time around, I feel differently about it just her saying that nothing bad has ever happened in this town is just, infuriating? On a deep level. Nothing bad has ever happened here? Really Soph? Not even in your own home? You fuck.

I am begging, begging the people in The Town to acknowledge the horrors in front of them as if I am Charlie Day in It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia ranting about Pepe Silvia.  

Sophie seeing Blossom staring and being like “Please, for once, PLEASE-” and Blossom being like “Ahahaha, no! <3.” Adore it.

—

Chapter Four.

—

Norman has arrived. He wants a steak before seven thirty. This man is an animal and not in the good way. Henry’s reaction is appropriate for once, I too, am disgusted.

Stop judging Sophie! The man BARELY eats, he needs all the nutrition he can get! Let him have his fucking raspberry pie and ice cream!

Discussion of the first two murders. Henry is much too excited by the prospect of a serial killer, which bitch, same?!

Henry going into the detail of the first real gruesome crime scene he was sent to like damn, DAMN! FUCK KATE!

Henry talking shop! About the pattern, how confident, talking about the killer being addicted, the parallels. Mannnn. 

PROLONGED EYE CONTACT!

Finished reading for tonight at 10:11 PM. 60 pages covered this first session. 

—

Wednesday August 10th. Second session. Starting at 9:20 Pm. Off tomorrow. Dinner: Peanut and sesame noodles with chilli oil and green onion. More whiskey with ginger ale over ice. Snacking on hot cheetos and a crispy caramel kit-kat while reading. 

—

Chapter Five.

—

Oh the HOSPITAL! YES!

Tv is on a cooking channel because of course it is. 

Henry just cutting the small talk short asdfghjkajshglakhdg, “Take me to the bodies FRANK-” And Frank being like “If you got the stomach for it.” Like Frank. Honey. You know nothing of this man. 

Henry being totally unfazed by the smell of the dead. This man is not okay. (This will be said many times throughout this.) 

Why, why, why do I love this passage so much? Talking about how Henry looks over the body? The image is so crystal clear. It is almost like I am in the room. Like I can smell the bleach as I look over his shoulder, watching as he inspects the cadaver below him, watching how the bright harsh lighting catches on the cold thick blood clotting between his gloved fingers? I can see Henry at this moment. Like I could just reach out and touch him. How can something like this be written in a way that is so telling, so intimate yet so detached? It is captivating as hell. Just like Henry himself.  This was another moment during my first read though that made me want to know more about him.

“Coffee, yeah. Thanks.” That is such a human moment that just reeks of reality. A phrase I have heard uttered a million times in my line of work and I can hear how it was said perfectly. The little details really make this. 

Shit coffee indeed, let me make this man a good cup of coffee PLEASE-

He needs a fresh body!!!

—-

Chapter Six.

—-

Man is so particular about his coffee honestly I love what it adds to his character. It says SO much by saying so little. 

Oh my God and Mr.Clemmington was a cook.

Henry hating small talk makes so much sense. What an asshole. Love him.

Name drop! Blossom James ooooohhh.

“Anyway, I hope no girl in this town is capable of such a thing…” Oh giiiirlll. You don’t know shit about shit. 

Henry taking his pills with leftover coffee with cigarette ash in it like SIR can you PLEASE take care of yourself even just a little?!

Henry, you need more than dry cereal for dinner. 

—

Chapter Seven.

—

Henry’s breakfast, coffee, cigarettes and fucking twizzlers apparently. 

Watching him at work is captivating. Henry rattling off what should be done and in what order is justttt a sickening delight. What a freak.

Ethan is missing. And Henry is a little too defensive. “I didn’t say anything.” Mmmhmmm. You didn’t have to. 

—

Chapter Eight.

—

Henry deadass like “We are looking for a body-” and Norman just, “Oh you’d like that sooooo much wouldn’t you?!” Uh. Yeah. Duh dude, he’s the worst. 

Ethan and Blossom went out, eh? Oooh boy. 

This chapter is short but so fucking gooood. I love how they haven’t even formally met and he is getting frustrated by her! The build up and teasing before we really get to know her is just so fucking delicous.

—

Chapter Nine.

—

The description of the hotel’s restaurant is another stand out. I can imagine myself sitting there, smelling the vanilia of the candles and partaking in the food, almost as if I can taste the vegetable medley myself. 

I love Blossom's dress, periwinkle is an underrated colour and the meaning of her wearing it here, tonight, during their first official meeting is not lost on me and the impact is strong.

They are sitting, they are talkING-

Blossom clearly has thoughts about Ethan. I can hear the bite of the way she says ‘Golden boy’ and it is telling. 

“Henry.” Whore. Him. Not her. He is the whore. Like call me Henry, the fuck IS that?! Asking her to use your first name? Mmm? Already so informal? Like a slut? Have you no shame?

“Picky with your food.” “If you’d call it that.” The TENSION! I’ve already read this before but I am still so like !!!!

“-he just didn’t fuck me anymore.” girl fucking say it. 

“Do you like me Henry?” I mean fuck how could he not?

Oh mannnn another masturbation scene hell yeah baby! Unlike the first one this one lingers for longer and it is good. The idea that he doesn’t even necessarily enjoy the act of this, it is a means to an end, an annoyance, it’s a mix of anger, of disgust, of maintenance, of hatred, it’s this balance that is just so fucking right. The idea of hating the act of this is just, so interesting to me. Not just from a narrative perspective, not just for the way it lets us into Henry’s mind, but because it is so utterly different and conflicting from my own personal feelings about the act. Not even the act as he is doing it but my own relationship with it on a deep and personal level, the differences between he and I, they don’t divide me from his character, if anything, they intrigue me further, beckoning me to know him. 

“The taste of her name as sweet as the frost-glazing of a strawberry filled cake, flowering in his chest until it choked him.” Pure poetry. Gorgeous. Perfect. Another stand out line. Makes me think of so much, the images of digging my fingers into a pretty little decorated cake, of ripping and tearing and splitting it open simply to destroy something beautiful, to mirror what Blossom is already doing to Henry in such a short time, to then just lick the mashed and sugary strawberry mixture of the filling from my fingers, just because, flit through my mind while reading this line. What is this book capable of? The things it can conjure up cannot be understated. 

Hot, hot, hot. Love he was still half dressed and just spills himself onto the sheets. 

—

Finished second session at 10:53 PM. 45 pages covered in the second session. Word count over 2K now. 

—

Such a large break happened because of me leaving my previous job, moving into a new town and starting a new job, better late than never, I am back on it!

Starting this session at 11:02 AM on January 17th, a Tuesday, I have the day off today. Breakfast was cereal, I am having ice water and no snack because I will break for lunch soon. 

—

Chapter Ten.

— 

 I adore the description of Blossom’s house, it is so clear that just like all things Kate writes, a ton of thought was put into every detail. 

More food, this reminds me I should make meatloaf again soon,

“Seeing the Agent made her hungry.” I fucking LOVE. 

“Breathing out with the softness of a flowering bruise, tender and hesitant.” Kate I simultaneously want to kiss and punch you for always doing this! You throw out just the best fucking lines so damn casually. As if we are roommates, I finished a long day at work, sitting at the kitchen table and you just stride into the room, drop one of the most profound things I have ever heard and then just waltz off back to your own space as if it were nothing and I am not left changed and struggling to contend with what you just forced upon me. That is what lines like this feel like and do to me. Does that make sense?

And here it is, another real heart stopping and revealing moment of what makes Blossom her. You just know from the jump that there is something more to her, and this passage makes it abundantly clear and makes you feel for her. While I personally have experienced my fair share of this sort of thing in my own life it is of course, like a lot of stories, different from what she has but my heart goes out to her. Why can’t Blossom use, abuse, and take from these men as they have taken from her? Why not?

This chapter isn’t long but it doesn’t need to be, it is honestly very necessary and I love the look into Blossom alone and at home. 

—

Chapter Eleven.

—

Man fell asleep still dressed and cum covered. What a fucking whore, what an inspiration, what a guy. How down bad am I, do you ask? So bad that I read this and my first thought was, “I could fix that. Fuck the shower, I have a mouth-” With all the coffee he drinks, his alcohol problem and the smoking his cum must taste terrible. Still wouldn’t stop me.

I love this so much. Having Blossom showering in the last chapter towards the end and Henry at the next towards the start and difference in how they do even down to the temperature they prefer, amazing. 

Back at the diner, another meeting, more tension and of course, more food. It is impossible to read this and not get hungry and also slightly nauseated at points, it is beautiful. 

“-reached for more, satisfying herself in front of him.” I fucking canNOT. 

I love any scene with them talking back and forth.

This is so fucking good, she is getting to him so easily and just how unapologetically she is eating. Also, “But you’re not sorry. Why would you be?” Might be one of my fave quotes so far, it stuck out my last reading as well. 

Interrupting Henry when he immediately assumes the killer is a man and her fighting him on it. 

“Don’t underestimate the rage of a woman, Special Agent.” YEAH HENRY! And maybe it WAS a threat. What are you gonna do about it? 

Invite Blossom to the search part apparently.

—

Chapter Twelve. 

—

I feel it is important to mention at this juncture that I cannot read in silence so I have on a thunderstorm in the woods audio going and it feels just totally perfect for reading this

Henry runs through the details of the practised lie of what happened between him and his wife with a shocking amount of detachment, but not that shocking for him.

Mr.Whitmore you should learn to like, I dunno, lie better. 

The cropped tea and pink bell bottoms is unironically one of my favourite Blossom looks described in this book. 

This conversation, the back and forth and talking about favourite colours, their characters really shine here, another stand out moment. After having read this once before Henry saying “Blue” and knowing what will come later, I had to put the book down for a moment, and not just to type up this annotation. 

“How old are you, Blossom?” “Eighteen.” Old enough to legally...Vote. But on the real again the tension in this scene, sharing the cigarette, the closeness, just THIS. 

A body has been discovered! 

Blossom admitting she doesn’t feel anything upon seeing the disgusting corpse is just so fucking good. 

Chapter twelve was fucking great, I forgot how much happened in this one chapter, a total fave. 

—

Chapter Thirteen.

—

Blossom and Henry are just lying to police now, alright, alright. 

Short but to the point, I enjoy the small details in this one. Describing the grotesque nature of the body especially was very effective. 

Also the forgetting a clipboard and letting Blossom write on his back, cute, realistic, adore it.

Course you can’t pass up a fresh corpse Henry you fucking freak. 

—

Chapter Fourteen.

—

The entertainment centre! I remember simply adoring this next chapter, I am excited!

Grilling Mr.Whitmore on why he works here occasionally. Henry you are so, so transparent and projecting really hard here. Being so critical with him being so close to the teenagers when what are you doing with Blossom? You woke up splattered in your own cum after passing out post-nut, post-jack sesh thinking about a certain eighteen year old blonde, remember? 

More Henry and Blossom talking <3

“Oh, come on. You can’t deny that…You don’t look at all these…Preppy, skimpy seventeen and eighteen year old girls and don’t think about when you were that age with the impulse control of a twelve year old.” HENRY! 

“No. I don’t. Because I’m not seventeen, or eighteen anymore, Henry. And neither are you.” “Doesn’t mean I still can’t look.” He is so fucking gross. And yet…

I do feel for ol Norm here but at the same time he really does need to let Henry do his damn  job. 

“We’ll see if the Coopers are ready to talk and resume the work on Monday. I’m sure the killer will understand.” What a note to go out on Henry damn.

A knock on the door? This late? Who could it be? I ask having fully read this book before.

I was right by the way, this chapter was so good and so engrossing.

—

 Chapter Fifteen. 

—

Of course it’s Blossom who is here. Obviously. Who else?

Naturally she comes in. 

Absent mom and a dead mom. Gotta love two people with mommy issues getting together. 

I find myself unable to pull away during their conversations, they are just still so engaging to read. That being said, “Why don’t you like white wine?” “I’ve always preferred something stronger. Something that bites.” Oh I bet you do.

She’s making the move, SHE’S MAKING THE MOVE-

The description of Henry here, hands up, not looking at her, trying very, very hard to maintain his composure and will and not touch her. Oof. 

They are kissing! This is where it all starts to really go tits up and I am so here for it.

“We shouldn’t be doing this-” Oh but you’re gonna Henry, you are, we all know it just do it!

He really is trying here, and he does make a good point, they shouldn’t get involved with each other like this but that is part of what makes it so good!!!

She isn’t wearing any panties. 

Man is done for. 

And he gives in! Get it Henry! I wish that were me. Who in this scenario? Like a true bisexual. Both. 

Just going for it and with no protection! Henry, you animal. 

His garden. This whole section is phenomenal. People could learn a thing or two about writing sex scenes from reading how Kate does it!

Kate’s work is just mind blowing. It is incredible how she writes the differences between Henry and Blossom post their first time together. For him feeling like he can breathe for the first time in years and her imagining becoming one with the forest, consumed with rot and dying like the way they view sex and each other is so intensely fascinating. It just so interesting too because I have felt like Blossom has, chest feeling scooped out and hollow and empty but never relating to sex, reading this book with just how different my perspective on physicality with another human from there's never bores me.

“RISE AND SHINE, ASSHOLE, NEW DAY! AND LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE DONE NOW!”  That is just this book and Henry’s life all over, huh? A good alternate tagline. 

Ahhhhh a dream sequence and such a fucking good one! The imagery in this is immaculate, the one that stands out to me the most is the mention of Blossom’s hair in a high ponytail tied with a pink ribbon, so fucking good and so clever. Blossom becoming a literal monster and tearing him apart, what do you think it means Henry? C’mon, THINK!

Another fantastic chapter, of course.

—

Chapter Sixteen. 

—

He is making her breakfast. Also blueberry pancakes are in fact the best, I will not take criticism at this time. 

“Colour me impressed.” My gesturing to a board covered with papers and tacked with pins, red strings connecting seemingly random things and moments, “It all comes back to COLOUR! IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT THE COLOUR! DO YOU SEE-”

“Yet, there was still nothing ever as tooth-rotting as Blossom James.” I am punching the air!

—

Chapter Seventeen.

—

Her being so excited to see him oh my GOD. “I missed you.” “You always miss me.” Things that happen between me and my husband all the time, no word of a lie.

Planning secret meetings ooooooh.

“I want you to do exactly what you wanted to do the day we found Ethan.” Blossom. Have I told you lately how much I love you?

Also I love the little jump here. The few weeks and the mention of just how many times and places they have fucked thus far, they have clearly been very busy. 

Fucking right next to the scene of the crime, extremely risky but also, extremely hot.

This is all fucking amazing. The depth, the feeling, Blossom’s and Henry’s worry and doubt and hungry fervour for one another being so all consuming constantly. The question of how does this end is a good one to leave the chapter with.

How will it all end?

—

Chapter Eighteen.

—

Kate describes kisses in a million ways and I am here for all of them. Preppy and sickening or otherwise. 

This man smokes. So fucking much my God. Third read I should do a cigarette counter. 

Henry drinking and getting sloppy and good ol Norm comes to the rescue. 

Bro. Dude. Asking for Blossom in your drunken stupor is not going to help anyone or anything my GOD DUDE!

He is such a fucking messss.

—

Chapter Nineteen.

—

Yeah you forgot your shit at the bar you fucking walking embarrassment of a man Henry.

I’m part of the Abby fanclub. 

I really like Sophie and Norm interacting. It totally reads that they have known each other a very long time and I love the easy and playful air between them both very much. A joy to read. 

The suspensions are not misplaced Sophie, not at all.

Blossom comes by to bring a lot more than just coffee in this scene that is for damn sure. Norm is really trying to give Henry the benefit of the doubt and struggling. I think he is almost trying too hard to convince himself but as he told Sophie before, what else can he do?

Another great chapter with more tension. I am stopping for now to break for lunch. I am thinking of an egg salad sandwich. It is 1:34 PM. I covered 110 pages this round, over halfway through the book. This has been the longest session so far and the doc is now over 4,000 words. 

—

It is January 29th, a Sunday, it is 12:31 PM, I have the day off and the laundry going as I sit down for this session. I had a sleep in and a late breakfast of an open faced sandwich consisting of egg and honey ham with chive cream cheese and hashbrowns. Water and no snack again. 

—

Chapter Twenty.

—

Blossom is having a party and again, I love the outfit described here, it is one of the first ones I think of, totally iconic and so her. 

Blossom in the bathroom with some fucking guy and this guy, Kyle, God, I hate him. Hated him the first read, hate him this one too, what a complete shit stain. 

I hate and love how real this is. It is just so fucking sickening because it is so common and happens all the damn time and has happened to her how many times? I wish Blossom would, I wish she would rip his teeth out, or scream or something but I know all too well what can happen in these scenarios and why she doesn’t. God, Kate, stop being such a good writer all the time damn it!

This is the kind of part that makes me want to reach in the pages and kill Kyle myself. Reminding myself he is a fictional character means nothing because Henry and Blossom are fictional too, you know? But the feelings they make me feel are real, what I get from reading this book is real and while they aren’t real living breathing people, Kate writes them so well they feel like they are. Even if they are fictional and I am real and I cannot touch them in a tangible way, this asshole, Kyle is fictional just as they are and therefore can and chooses to do harm and the threat of Blossoms hurt by him feels so sharp I could cut myself on it. 

“Did you cum?” Kill yourself Kyle you pathetic rapist fuckwad. 

Mr.Whitmore why are you at a high schooler’s party exactly???

“Rather, there was a tenderness to his bruising touch.” Kate. Girl. I am eating this line. Crushing it up and snorting it, need it in my bloodstream. 

The drama of it all, neither of them can communicate properly at all like just please can you for once be normal. I say as if I don’t love them at their absolute worst. 

—

Godddd what a fucking chapter, so good, so much happened but not enough to feel like overwhelmed by it, you know? Stellar as to be expected.

—

Before. Technically Chapter Twenty-One.

—

The wife is here. Cindy, poor, poor Cindy. Love the pjs tho.

Siiiigh, you too Henry? I say as I read him about to force himself on his wife as if I have not read this before.

This scene is so hard to talk about but I want to talk about it, you know? Like it is very intense how unintentional it seems to be, he didn’t come home planning to kill his wife, it isn’t a big premeditated thing, also I love how real this is. How he is so comfortable, so sure everything will be fine and cares so much about what he wants or feels he needs that he has no regard for her and pays the heaviest fine for it, her death, being the one that killed her. But also, even though we see him leaning on booze and pills and the rest, the man is still alive, he still goes on living, walking free after he did that.

RIP Cindy, we hardly knew you and you definitely deserved better.

—

Short chapter but it is deff supposed to be, gets across just what it needs to and it hit hard and is insanely effective.

—

Chapter Twenty-Two.

—

Blossom got into the car and now after a short but tense drive they are having a conversation and this conversation my Lord! Henry is totally upset that Blossom is right by the way, she knows he likes how she looks next to him and how she makes him feel but he’s all “oh I’m so much older, my job, my station, my morals-” WHAT MORALS HENRY?

Also Henry has a point, Blossom James does have main character syndrome and is just constantly inserting herself into the narrative but she is fucking interesting as hell and I wanna see her all the time so damn Henry let her live!

“You know nothing about me.” Mmmm don’t be so sure Henry.

Blossom is again correct, you wanted to fuck her from the moment you saw her, don’t deny it you mess of a man!

Him hitting her !, her nose bleeding and her smiling up at him with fucking red teeth, !!, the description I never get tired of reading ever of her being a predator of equal conviction !!!!!!!!!

Like I could go on and on about this section just it is so fucking good! Henry’s complex and swirling emotional state consuming him so thoroughly and being unable to control himself around her! The conflicting wants and feelings and him being just thoroughly unequipped to deal with it all! They are a car crash I cannot look away from, nor would I ever want to. I stare and let the images of them tangled up in a gory flaming pile burn into my retinas until the fumes of spilled gasoline make me literally pass the fuck out. 

Me dancing in my chair as I read how Henry wants to kill and main Blossom, just a nice Sunday afternoon.

Henry saying he doesn’t want to fight her. Like I don’t believe you again Henry,

They are fucking in the carrr! Which like yes, hot, get it, but also, Blossom are you good?

Henry chasisting her over smoking, like, dude. For real?

Blossom calling him Daddy, him calling her disgusting and shotgunning smoke into her mouth, her being so fucking coy and pleased with herself, “And you love it.” Like yeah he does and so do I! Do it again!

Blossom asking him to the fucking dance! THE DANCE IS COMING! AH!

Henry of course you can’t go to the dance you old fuck but also her teasing him about going with a boy her own age and him getting so angry over it has me so amped, like the playfulness on display here it is just all a game to her!

—

I want to make this chapter breakfast in bed and then smash the coffee mug over its head before giving it a big ol kiss.

—

Chapter Twenty-Three.

—

Chinese food late at night in a hotel room sounds so fucking good right now it is unreal.

Okay but now I need a disgustingly detailed section of how exactly Henry eats pussy or do I gotta do that myself? I can do it myself! I just need to know, we know I can deliver it too. I just gotta think on it.

Blossom asking to get choked by him like girl you don’t know what you are asking of him! He CAN hurt you! He wants to! You are meddling in forces you do not understand!

Every little piece and look into Blossoms past is so fucking sad. She has been through so much I hate it. 

Must every guy in Blossom’s life suck so fucking hard?

Also the milk and honey thing coming around and around again is so fucking perfect and apt and slots into this story fucking amazingly well.

Blossom making him breakfast! I would eat what she made, it sounds fucking good honestly.

Another amazingly described kiss that is so fucking perfect I ache.

—

Another banger of a chapter my God I feel so full and spoiled during this re-read.

—

Chapter Twenty Four.

—

Why are all the suspects older dudes? Hum. I wonder.

Also Henry dressed like a total slut today, we love to see it!

Someone who hangs around the younger guys and girls. Man, I wonder who he is thinking of!!!

I could listen to Henry go off about this kind of thing forever, Freud or otherwise.

Stacy do be Stacy though that is for damn sure Norman.

Norman inviting Henry for dinner and asking him for a smile that turns out to be so unsettling that he is just straight up like nevermind please don’t ever do that again oh my God. Perfection. Hilarious. Whenever and I do mean WHEN, not IF, the movie or tv series or whatever adapt of this happens, that detail needs to be left in.

Blossom out alone with a bunch of boys in the woods and drinking, a horrible idea really.

I can hear the “I wasn’t gonna let them do anything, I was just playyingg-” in my head and it is great. Also sure, Blossom.

This girl will not stop running her mouth to save her life. You are gonna get you and Henry in so much trouble!

I don’t blame Sopher for hating Henry, man is always acting suspicious.

And so it comes out again! Henry I think you do have it out for Whitmore and I think it is because you see an uncomfortable amount of yourself in him at times and refuse to acknowledge it. But also yeah Whitmore is really weird, keep an eye on that guy.

Ooooof. Norman laying it down, like he knows what is up! He isn’t dumb Henry! “I hope to fuck I don’t.” Hits so fucking hard.

Man I do not like Sophie but that is totally a ME and my issues thing because she is right about a lot of this.

—

Another fucking awesome chapter, the scene with her in the woods and Henry coming by is another stand out in my mind I find myself thinking of often. 

—

Chapter Twenty-Five.

—

Henry finding the old pictures of Blossom on the fridge and wondering what made her so “hard” like man if you only knew.

God, the imagery you describe Kate everytime it gets to me. Reach into her brains and feel around, discover what is really wrong Henry do it!

The girl was just fucking waiting for him! Also the lingerie sounds cute as fuck.

C’mon Henry we both know you are gonna fuck her, just do it my guy. 

The give and take between them both, the constant fight and unease and just inability to just exist without conflict. Man do I love it. 

Blossom calling him daddy has me feeling some kind of way.

The choose to kiss me thing has my in knots just it is fucking fantastic Kate just truly something else.

The softness and the not wanting to be so vulnerable but being unable to help it.

—

Finished this session at 2:31 PM. Stopping at page 288. I covered 73 pages this time around. The doc is over 5.5K words. Less than 100 pages left to cover. The next annotation session might be my last. Excited to finish strong!

—

It is January 31st, a Tuesday, once again it is my day off. I have less than 100 pages left to cover in Blossom and I am going to attempt to complete the book and the annotations this session. For breakfast I had a fried egg sunny side up on a single slice of buttered toast, topped with green onion and everything bagel seasoning. No snack as I am planning on lunch today, perhaps mac and cheese? I am drinking a country peach herbal tea out of my mug Kate sent, “The Trees Know More Than They Dare Say” stares back at me as I put on more thunderstorms in the forest sounds at 10:56 AM and this new reading session begins.

—

Chapter Twenty-Six.

—

I don’t think I have mentioned it until now but Henry smoking Marlboro’s just makes like way, way too much sense. I can see him holding the classic iconic white and red and gold pack in his hand very clearly.

Henry staring into the forest and wanting to lie down and rot and let it all overtake him in many a similar way that Blossom has is so interesting. Also it makes me wonder like are they just this similar? Or is something up with this forest in particular? But then I remember all the time I have spent in forests and that they are just Like That.

Henry plays nice at the dinner with Norm’s family and I love the honesty of him telling Norm when asked, that he doesn’t give a shit what he thinks but what Stacy thinks actually matters. Good shit, consistent with his character and just an awesome detail. 

Norm filling in Henry on the ‘rumours’ and him brushing it off as just that. Henry is understandably very upset as am I!

Another shower, him gripping the sink and staring at himself in the mirror, again, reminiscent and similar of Blossom earlier. 

Talking about her perfume being on his coats and his pillows, and then this, “She was everywhere. Infecting him.” She so is! I love how slowly it happens but how clear it is here, how much she is burrowed inside him and has affected him so heavily, she has set up camp inside him and he isn’t even fully aware of how much she has. I am obsessed. 

“He felt as if she was the biggest mystery of all.” Fucking cut, print, beautiful note to finish on. Another moment I can see put to screen.

—

A fantastic chapter, seriously so many good smaller details, thoroughly enjoyable yet again,

—

Chapter Twenty-Seven.

—

This chapter is only about two pages but what a two pages. 

Two pages of Blossom breaking down after expecting Henry to reach out and him not, her sobbing, clawing at herself and drinking. The descriptions here at the end, of so desperate for relief you hurt yourself immensely in the process, willing to tear till you see bone just hoping for a moment’s peace, goregous. 

—

Ethan, or, Chapter Twenty-Eight.

—

Another very short chapter, describing Blossom in the cemetery and Ethan following her there. The conversation is brief, him saying she shouldn’t be out like this, him affirming that it’s not girls like her that are dying, it’s boys like him and him assuring her that he can “bench 200” so the guy will have his work cut out for him. Okay, nice attempt to flex Ethan /s. But this last line is the stand out to me, “-and Blossom let her head fall back, snaking her arm around his shoulders and closing her eyes, engulfing him.”  Phew. Truly a banger.

—

Chapter Twenty-Nine.

—

Oh my God this is it, this is the chapter, the long, extended dream sequence. I dunno if I am ready again! This part is so intense but so good. Okay, okay, be cool, here we go.

We kick off with a wonderfully descriptive scene of Henry eating, frantic, hungry, desperately trying to satisfy himself, right? Eating meat, drinking red wine, eating pomegranate, and it’s all fine until we pull away to see that he is actually eating Blossom. And not in the way we have seen before, we are talking full out, full on, raw, animalistic, cannibal style consumption. 

It isn’t enough and it will never be enough as he feeds and eats until there is literally nothing left of her, going so far as to consume bone, marrow and cartilage. 

He reaches back in and instead of finding warmth and hopefully more food instead he finds a nest of baby spiders and I get a chill every time I read this part ugh!

This image is the best. Henry trying to fight to get the spiders off, almost tripping and then Blossom, still dead, reaching out, catching his wrist and holding him there, mouth opening and dark legs of a much larger spider reaching out from the darkness just- my GOD. Horror, pure, horror, goodness.

Tea update, I have gotten so distracted reading and annotating it has now gone cold.

The dream shifts suddenly to Henry being in front of and then going into Blossom’s house in search of her, the hope that he will find her safe is one that I cannot share with him because Henry, awake or asleep she is never safe with you.

The description of the room in total disarray is fantastic and also again something that one can picture so easily. 

Blossom is dead and Henry is holding her and sobbing and I am FEELING!

Him crying and apologising is everything. 

But, it was all a joke because all of this is a big fucking joke to Blossom, even pretending she is dead all for him to discover. 

“Does it make you feel good? Tearing those around you apart? Destroying those that care about you?” Go off Henry. But also yeah Blossom, does it?

“I’m sorry.” “No you’re not.” - “You never are.”  Fucking snaps Kate. 

This moment still fucks me up, Henry realizing that he is dead on the floor, has been watching himself this whole time. 

“Are you going to hurt me like you hurt her?” She asked. “Do you want to hurt me Henry? Do you want to kill me too?”  This whole scene, this whole sequence is indescribably good. I wouldn’t want them to cut a single moment or movement from this pure gold. 

Words are failing me.

He’s awake!

The bitch is back and she is drunk.

I have read a few reviews that claim the work of Kate and this book in particular to be ripping off Gone Girl, calling it plagiarism, especially for this next part. Blossom, drunk and a mess giving a speech, a rant, going the fuck off about the awful treatment of men and expectations thrust upon her and all women and that just pisses me off. The reviews, not her speech, her speech is great. I hate that reviewers see a woman giving a speech about mistreatment, and the entitlement of men and look at Kate and her work and compare her to Gillian Flynn negatively.  Because don’t you know there can be only one book like this? Only one story delving into the rage inherent to the feminine? Only one book can have this kind of character, this kind of story, everything else is clearly a copy, a cheap imitation, instead of insulting and making unfair and frankly incorrect claims, looking at the broader picture. These reviewers look at this and compare instead of seeing that both these stories and many more like them can have their own spot in the conversation, and can co-exist. And the biggest point of all, maybe, just fucking maybe, the reason there is multiple stories, conversations, rants, characters like Amy and like Blossom is because what they are talking about, what they preach has distinct truth and basis in the reality of the experience of tons and tons of women and that is why it hits and resonates. 

Also Henry thank God you stopped yourself from saying that shit because holy fuck no one is ever asking for it ever.

Henry not believing female rage, like alright bud, sit down.

Blossom’s feelings are so valid here. The want for people who have harmed you to see how they have and understand it and share that feeling. It is fucking powerful, this whole section is!

“Would you kill to take back your power?” Henry, you are getting closer to getting it. 

The way I need this whole scene filmed yesterday.

Blossom’s got a fucking gun. The first time I read this my stomach dropped. 

This scene with her holding the gun to him is so tense.

Kate you could write about the issues with women only becoming empowered in media through abuse and hurt from men for hours and hours and I would eat it up. Oh shit, wait, I already have. I’d do it again. 

I like to think for sure a part of Blossom wants to stop this, wants to be ‘normal’ wants to love as Henry describes but again, the constant mistreatment from everyone all her life prevents that. How can she just swallow back all this hate and not let it poison her? How can she just move on from that? It IS like saying that they won, she becomes another person standing idly by, a part of the problem. 

Finally she falls asleep and the chapter ends.

—

This is my favourite chapter in the book by far. I could scream on and on about it more than I already have, the dream sequence I could read it and go line by line diving in deeper I swear to God. I gotta hold myself back in some places though. 

—

Chapter Thirty.

—

A hard and tense conversation is had once Blossom wakes up in the morning.

Henry keeps on choosing her, she didn’t ask for it, true but he isn’t unreasonable in wanting her to choose him back and some proof of this. 

She clearly doesn’t want him to go, but he does. 

She usually has cold showers but takes a hot one in an attempt to understand. I could never take a cold shower so Blossom girl, I do not understand you in that respect. 

—

A shorter but extremely emotionally driven chapter that hits the spot after the last one.

—

Chapter Thirty-One.

—

Blossom asking for some help with her photos.

Oh my God Mr.Whitmore you fucking creep. Yeah I will look over your photos for the end of year project, how about I bring a bottle of wine along?! You sick fuck I hate you.

She is eating once again, drinking once again, watching a nature documentary and wishing she as the wolf and the prey all at once and I am still just so fucking captivated by it.

Yeah those Barbie commercials suck, I’d turn off the TV too.

—

Chapter Thirty-Two.

—

We finally got another body hoooo boy! 

Again tied with a pink ribbon, again many, many stab wounds, throat slashed this time, leaving him to choke on his own blood. 

I afforded myself a ten minute break at this time to grab an ice water and make lunch, I sit back down with my mac and cheese ready to eat and read. 

The killer is being unorganised and cocky, in broad daylight no less?

A school ID at the scene of the crime!

A frantic call from Blossom oh my God!

Mr.Whitmore is with her and when Henry gets there he is dead and she is holding the knife.

Her sobbing about how she lost control is haunting knowing what we know. Knowing how important control is to her and this is why she is doing this, convincing herself whenever she is being hurt or used she is still in control it is like what happened? The tension!

—

My mac and cheese threatens to go cold at this rate because this book, again even on the second readthrough, is so captivating. 

—

Chapter Thirty-Three.

—

Blossom is in the hospital and Henry is there with her.

The girl has been really fucked up my God. 

Norman is totally a bit salty and mad at himself that Henry was right this whole time about it being Mr.Whitmore. 

Love Henry describing the motif of the pink ribbon representing Blossom, just, real good.

I really, really like Norm and Sohpie’s interactions, again the air of how long they have known each other hangs heavy.

Of course it actually happened Norm. Come on. What kid lies about that?

—

Another chapter in the books that I love, a big smooch for this one.

—

Chapter Thirty-Four.

—

We are finally at the dance hooo boy.

The theme of the dance being love, gag me. 

Henry is here like she wanted! 

Be still my heart she is wearing fucking blue. SHE IS WEARING BLUE!

It’s all like a dream, an actually good one for once Henry, a rarity for you I am sure. 

They dance and yeah all the parents watching on like uhhh? Hilarious, like shut up you don’t know them like us the readers do!

And they leave the dance togetherrrr. God I love them way too much for how bad they are for each other.

Back at the hotel, much making out and getting drunk together.

He wants to rip away the blue and bury himself in her pink oh my fucking-KATE! I love you.

Blossom is that girl. Drunk all like, “I wanna go swimming!” And fuck I felt that. 

Kate could write something just listing colours over and over and I would love it. 

Of course he doesn’t want her in the pool. She wants him in the pool with her, so she drags him in, naturally.

The build up of what you think is going to be a steamy sex scene poolside ends up with Blossom breaking down and man my heart hurts. 

—

This chapter is just so well paced AND well placed, you know what I mean, it is just mwah, amazing, very needed, tonally it flows so well.

—

Chapter Thirty-Five.

—

It’s summer, a month after the dance and Henry pays Blossom a visit. 

We get to hear some of her statement and mannn. It is just, fucking pitch perfect, immaculate. 

“I want to love you…So badly…” - “But?” - Blossom didn’t answer.  I am ripping my own hair out oh my God. 

Blossom is so empty inside, nothing there at all and so she instead of dealing with the internal pain, she seeks physical pleasure.

Okay this next sex scene, so fucking good, just I love the juxtaposition of the flowery language with harsher terms thrown in there, it is through the whole book and it feels like it sums up Blossom the character insanely well. 

“In return, Blossom gave him exactly what he needed, at the same time, taking exactly what she wanted. A perfect balance.” Can I get this line tattoo’d on the inside of my eyelids as well as marry it?

—

Chapter Thirty-Six.

—

Post fuck our fave creep Henry Williamson watches Blossom shower and I wish that were me.

Oh he is smoking less look at him!

“He wondered if this could last forever.” Doubtful. A nice thought though. 

You’ve been here how many times and you only look around her room now? Alright. 

Of course you go for her underwear drawer you little freak of a man! 

Henry finds an envelope and in it a series of pictures of the bodies, of the crime scenes but they aren’t copies, oh no they are originals and very different from the ones he has seen previously.

A delectable little cut back showing Adam Hall from the start going to the woods for a run and Blossom following after him oh my God.

—

And just like that the book is over. It is, amazing, truly a gripping read even the second time. I noticed more, picked up on more and really loved it even more. Blossom being the real one behind all this is fantastic, well played and woven without it feeling shoved in your face or obvious and reading it now after the first time knowing she did it was a trip! This book is fantastic, I could read it over and over and I intend to! It plays like a movie, I love the characters and it is just phenomenal. I cannot recommend it enough. Seriously everyone needs to read this and then review it afterwards I am begging! Kate, this book is just, ugh, so special and something so different and I am just totally enamoured with it and you and how you write. In case this 8.6K document didn’t express that already. Thank you again so much for this story and now I can’t wait to read After The Lamb Bites Back!

#Blossom #Blossom By Kate Winborne #horror fiction #BHF writing #annotations #I fucking love how this came out and hope it captures how much I love this book #my thoughts and just how insane it makes me #I LOVE YOU KATE #Fr there are spoilers in this tho so tread lightly #Henry Williamson

[the---hermit]

22|06|2022

3/30 days of self care

No morning walk today, because it was rainy. The day started well anyway, I used the time I didn't go out to journal. Study-wise I finished that last historiogaphical article I was reading, I annotated it and then I organized a bit what my work for the thesis will be in these next few days. The moment in which I will actually start writing (at least the first chapter) is getting closer and closer.

Self care things I did today:

Read first thing in the morning

Journaled and worked on my bujo

Started to reread The Hobbit (one of my all time faves and also one of my comfort books, I really hope it will get me out of the weird reading slump I am in)

Washed my hair (I also used a hair mask for an extra trea)

Did a face scrub

tranquilstudy's studying challenge // day 7

Today I am grateful for the rain! It had been way too long since it last rained.

Share your to-do list for today! Do you often make to-do lists? Do you find they help you?

My brain cannot function without to-do lists, they are a fundamental part of my organization system. I need to put on paper a plan before I do anything. My to-do list for the day:

Finish reading and annotating an historiographical article I was working on ✔

Organize my study tasks for the rest of the week, and create a plan to start writing the first chapter of my thesis ✔

Re-read my notes on the articles I want to use in the first chapter of my thesis, and start creating an actual plan on what to write ✔

Daily Irish practice on duolingo ✔

#tranquilsummerbuddies #30 days of self care #studyblr #studyinspo #mine #journal #notebook #studying #uniblr #historyblr #university #desk #messy desk #nature #study space #journaling #myhoneststudyblr #heysage #serendistudy #the---hermit

[euphorial-docx]

(from my italy au. again)

chapter 6: history lessons

Work is slow, but Regulus doesn’t mind one bit. He chose this job because of the slow motion, the solitude, the downtime. He spends most of his shifts, when not organizing shelves or helping the few customers that linger, reading. Today, he’s continuing with Ernesto, and unlike the time in Pandora's yard, he manages to finish the book and start it again. This time, he annotates it.

How does Ernesto know so much with so little words? I’m too cowardly to touch without being told exactly where and how. He has scribbled on the side of page fifteen. Liar. Love doesn’t make it hurt less, is scornfully written on the crude page of twenty-one. And on page twenty-four when it was over, Regulus writes: See? Love makes no difference. The first time is always painful, one way or another. Regulus tries not to think about his own past sexual experiences, but a book so synonymous with sexuality makes that difficult.

Regulus is in the middle of writing another annotation when the door opens, a little bell chiming to alert him. He doesn’t bother to look up. A customer will approach him directly, if need be. He keeps annotating and reading. Page thirty-nine he starts to write: People tell me love shouldn’t hurt— he’s interrupted by approaching footsteps before he can finish jotting that thought down.

When he looks up, James is looking back at him. Regulus can almost feel the light glimmering in his own eyes, burning with revitalization upon seeing the older boy. James takes off his sunglasses, as if Regulus hasn’t already memorized every inch of his face and body that he can. James flashes a smile, Regulus hesitantly sends one back, although it’s smaller, more reserved.

“Still reading that?” James asks, resting his arms upon the desk. Regulus promptly shuts his book, appalled by the thought of James taking a peak at his inner thoughts.

“I finished it, but I liked it enough for a re-read.” Regulus says, slyly pushing the book under the desk and into one of the drawers. Away from James.

“You never told me what it’s about, you know.” James reminds him, and Regulus is well aware of that. He thought he never wanted James to know the nature of Ernesto, but looking into his eyes now, Regulus is desperate for his reaction.

“You really want to know?” He asks for permission, and it’s granted through a confident nod. “Without spoiling too much, it’s about a boy emerging into manhood as he explores his sexuality and develops a love for poetry. I think it’s on its way to becoming a classic in queer literature.”

“Really? Sounds interesting. What drew you to it?” James asks, eyes never breaking its unabashed contact.

Regulus smothers another smile, “The author. Everyone in Italy reads Umberto Saba.”

“Is that the only reason?” By now, he knows what James is asking without really asking. The unspoken lies between them to never be uttered, but to be understood wordlessly.

“Possibly. I’d like Umberto Saba even if I hadn’t been forced to read his poems in secondary school. I see a lot of myself in him. He was from Trieste, walked these same paths, saw the same ocean, and felt the same community. And he was Jewish, as well as a socialist. I am Jewish, of course, but I’m not sure I’m a socialist. Although, I agree with a few of socialism’s values.” He rambles contently, fully aware of how frustrating that is for the other. Regulus rests his hands on the desk and asks James: “Why are you here?”

“There’s more I’d like to see of Trieste, and I want you to show me it.” And that’s what Regulus wants, isn’t it? To be wanted? Usually that desire would placate him, validate him, but James’s want only leaves him needing more of it.

“Okay,” Agreeing is the easiest thing Regulus has ever done, “I’ll show everything.”

James linger for a few minutes, pretending to be perusing the aisles for a book, but Regulus knows he won’t leave with anything. And he does. James disappears outside to waste time until Regulus’s shift ends. The moment he’s alone again, Regulus pulls the book out of the drawer, flips to the page he abandoned, and finishes his thought:

People tell me love shouldn’t hurt, but for me there’s no other way for it to be proven. I don't believe love to be true if it doesn’t leave me bloodied and wishing I were dead.

Regulus looks at the words he just wrote down with a twisting in his chest. It’s the truth, but it looks wrong. He knows it’s not something most people think, but it is something he whole-heartedly believes in.

Something is terribly wrong with me, he adds with a bold underline.

#here’s the socialist regulus i promised #he’s not really a socialist #but he’s not NOT a socialist #if you’ve read ernesto you know exactly what scenes regulus is annotating #this is literally the entire first scene of chapter 6 #jegulus #regulus black #james potter #starchaser #james x regulus

[eloves-writes]

stormy weather

[spencer reid x reader]

summary : reader doesn’t like flying in a storm & spencer distracts them

a/n : i wrote this whilst tipsy at a family bbq, talk about queen of socialising‼️ this talks about macbeth a bit & i’m sorry if that bores you lol the first draft of this had a huge long section of reader & reid discussing lady macbeth’s character development but i figured no one would actually want to read that💀 anyways hope you enjoy, requests open as always!

couple - spencer reid x gender neutral reader

content warnings - m*cbeth😩

——————————

“did you know that flying in a thunderstorm is no more or less unsafe than flying in good weather, since most modern airplanes are built to withstand lightning strikes and harsh wind and rain, what’s interesting is-”

“reid, i swear to god,” emily complained from the seat opposite him.

the boy genius stopped his ramblings. “what?”

“emily’s far too busy for your science lessons today i think, spence,” you joked, looking up from your book.

as you spoke, lightning cracked somewhere in the distance, flashing through the jet’s windows. you involuntarily flinched, off-set by the sudden light.

“woah,” morgan remarked. “you sure about that science spiel, reid? that was pretty intense.”

“don’t set him off again,” prentiss moaned. “you’re a little jumpy today though, y/n.”

“i’m not jumpy,” you replied monotonously, not looking up from your reading this time.

“you sound like hotch,” rossi teased. that, of course, set off a not uncommon round of crude impressions of the team members. hotch glanced up disapprovingly but chuckled under his breath at emily and reid’s version of a morgan and garcia phone call. the jest was interrupted by another loud crack of lightning amongst the ignored rumbles of heavying thunder. you flinched again.

“you are scared, aren’t you y/l/n?” morgan inquired. he wasn’t trying to belittle you, but you were embarrassed nonetheless. it wasn’t like no one else on the team had seemingly childish fears; reid was scared of the dark, but everyone did take the piss out of him for it.

“i’m not scared!” you exclaimed stubbornly. “but, for unrelated reasons, i’m going to go and take a nap until we land.” you dog-eared the page of your book and placed it on the table before getting up to relocate to the jet couch. spencer picked up your book and began to inspect it; a harmless habit he had of being constantly interested in other people’s literature choices. sometimes he offered meaningless insight to the hidden metaphors of the story, or accidentally spoiled the plot before you could finish it yourself. you thought it was quite sweet really. today, you were re-reading macbeth- perhaps an odd choice for a bit of light reading as emily so often told you. admittedly, you were a fan of shakespeare’s work since you studied it for your linguistics degree.

you comfied yourself on the couch, curling up with a pillow under your head. you doubted you’d actually be able to sleep with all the noise of the storm but it was worth a try (and a break from the incessant chatter of the team). only a few minutes passed as you lay listening to the on pour of rain on the roof and distant thunder; the white noise in itself was quite relaxing, but the remembrance of flying through the tempest wasn’t so. it felt like it had been much longer than it had and you willed the time to pass sooner so you could get your feet onto some solid ground.

“heyy,” spencer purred, sitting at your feet with your book in his hands.

“hey,” you replied. “reading my book?”

“i was reading your annotations actually,” he smiled. you liked to take a biro to the margins of your books, but it was more for your own enjoyment of the story than for other people’s eyes. “i generally don’t approve of the defacing of classic literature, however you have some really interesting comments on the nature of the gender role reversal in the play. see here, act 2 scene 2, ‘my hands are of your colour but i shame to wear a heart so white’ you wrote that lady macbeth is calling him a coward. well, you didn’t write coward-”

“i wrote pussy,” you smirked.

he smiled back awkwardly. “yeah, you did. you also wrote lady macbeth is a ‘girlboss’, i’m not entirely sure what that means.”

“my notes aren’t exactly of academic standard.”

“content wise, i would have to disagree. i forget how smart you are sometimes.”

“smarter than you, dr know-it-all?”

“in some fields i’m sure. you should use that brain more in the field instead of messing around with emily.”

“mmm, i’m good on the messing around with prentiss but maybe i should offer some more of my,” -you gestured dramatically- “profound intelligence.”

spencer laughed, tucking his slightly-too-long hair behind his ear. “well if we ever need an analysis on lady macbeth’s ‘girlboss energy’ i’ll know who to call.”

“you sure will. so then doctor, macbeth- victim or villain?”

you sparked up an enthusiastic discussion about the writing, forgetting completely about the raging storm that had bothered you so much earlier. the conversation lasted the whole rest of the flight, spencer’s mission of helping you through it very much achieved. you somehow hadn’t clocked on that he only came over to distract you, despite the fact that he frequently slated shakespeare’s writing. to him, it was worth talking about even the most terrible book in the world if it meant he was talking to you. he felt a burning sense of pride for making you smile, catalysing the fire in his heart. of all the knowledge in his head, the knowledge that he had single-handedly made you feel just the tiniest bit better was all the knowledge the young doctor ever really wanted.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #emily prentiss #spencer reid criminal minds #criminal minds fic

[bazzybelle]

Magical Equality Within The World of Mages

I’ve been thinking a lot since I finished reading Any Way The Wind Blows, and there are SO many things that I still need to process. I took my time with reading it, I’ve listened to the audiobook and I plan on re-reading it several times, once I move into my new house and have THAT stress done and over with. I cannot wait to re-read it on my back porch with some iced tea and a notebook to annotate and comment on pretty much everything that gave me feelings.

But for now, there is one massive issue that I want to address, and it plays into the plot for all three books.

Warning for those who have not read Any Way The Wind Blows, this post contains spoilers, so proceed with caution. I am tagging this appropriately, but adding an extra warning just in case.

Huge thanks to @carryonsimoncarryonbaz for reading this over and making sure I didn't sound like a rambling mess.

The World of Mages is an incredibly toxic place! This is especially true for anyone who isn’t a magical powerhouse, or stupid rich.

I’m going to not focus on the obvious socio-economic bullshit, because I’m not familiar enough with the British class system to properly comment on it. But if anyone wants to add onto this with a whole meta like that, please do so!

Instead, I’m going to focus on magic use and how detrimental it can be to grow up in this world if you aren’t one of the few who are blessed with the RIGHT kind of magic (I say right kind of magic for a reason, and I’m going to come back to that). I want to focus my attention on three characters (two of whom were drawn into Smith-Richard’s fake promises, and one who was just fed up with it all): Martin Bunce, Daphne Grimm, and Agatha Wellbelove.

1) Martin Bunce: We first hear about Martin Bunce in Carry On. He’s Penny’s dad, a renowned scholar and is leading a team researching the effects of the Insidious Humdrum. He’s a highly respected individual, in his own right. Penny adores him, she only speaks his praises, and I get the feeling she gets along better with Martin, then she does with Mitali. When Penny needs help with Shep’s curse, she trusts her dad to help her after her mother flat out refuses.

While Martin is respected in the community, he isn’t a magical powerhouse. In fact, he isn’t very powerful at all. Baz makes a cheeky little comment about how he must have come from mundanity with a name like “Bunce”, and he doesn’t teach any magical classes at Watford, he focuses mainly on Linguistics.

Professor Bunce is one of the people taken in by Smith-Richard’s message, and I’m kind of glad he is. It shows that Smith-Richard’s message can reach anyone, even someone as scholarly and learned as Martin. Martin Bunce is intelligent, loving, devoted, and the apple of his family’s eye. But, when push comes to shove, all that does not matter because in the end, he isn’t as magically powerful as his wife and kids. How many times has Martin been compared to his wife? How many times has he been compared to his kids? What was it like going to Watford and having to hear about how you barely scraped by in the magical classes? His whole family is obsessed with magic, his daughter's best friend is the Most Powerful Mage. Martin is constantly surrounded by people making comments about power and magic and being strong enough as a magician.

That stuff stays with you... So when you see someone performing magic that can pull you to your full potential, of COURSE you grab onto it and hope that it’s a real thing.

Something interesting to note here; Towards the end of AWTWB, Martin casts a drinking spell, and Baz makes a comment about anyone who could cast that spell in quick succession doesn’t need a power-up. Now, was Martin truly not powerful, or did he just not have the right type of magic? Could he have been a better magician if he was able to find the right situations where his magic responded better? If he was allowed to learn in a way where his magic could have reached its full potential, without the use of a horrible curse?

I have a teaching background, and I’ve worked with a lot of kids in Inclusive Education. I’ve had to differentiate practically all of my lesson plans so that all the kids in my classroom would understand the lesson and be able to reach the goals outlined for them. Admittedly, it’s been a while since I’ve taught, but I look at stuff like this in the World of Mages and my teaching ear perks up.

2) Agatha Wellbelove: Another person who comes to mind, especially with not having the right kind of magic is Agatha Wellbelove. Agatha does not see herself as a very strong magician. She tells Simon that magic for her is like holding a muscle. Pair that up with a mother who is OBSESSED with magic and power and who’s got the most power, and which magical matches will bring about powerful children, and you get someone who becomes resentful of the whole effing thing! I’m not even going to touch the whole “dating the Chosen One” thing because that’s a whole other can of worms.

When we first meet Agatha, she’s already fed up with magic, and wants nothing to do with it, and I can’t say I blame her. She spends all of Wayward Son running away from magic, and meandering through life, being still so unsure of herself and of her place in the world. She calls herself a poor excuse for a magician, yet she manages to save both herself and Penny from the NowNext by summoning fire! That’s a huge flipping deal! Not everyone can do that, yet Agatha is able to summon the power inside herself to do so! Imagine the wonderful magic she could have done if she was taught in a way that spoke to her.

In AWTWB, she is the ONLY person who is able to get through to the Goats. Her magic seems to be connected to nature (if I had to guess). The Dryad, all the way back in Carry On, tells Simon that she and the others find Agatha “peaceful”. That’s her magic. Agatha was able to come full circle by finding peace with the magic she has. She was able to find a place for it. What’s sad is that she felt the need to run away and not want to have it in her life anymore. Her magic is beautiful, yet not enough.

3) Daphne Grimm: So, this is the character that stood out to me the most. Daphne is the reason I even wanted to write this commentary. Those of you who know me, know that I adore this character. Partly because, I’m obsessed with the idea that Baz has people looking out for him and who care about him.

Anyway, Ms. Daphne Grimm is the apple of my eye essentially. I love her, I adore her, and she is treated SO UNFAIRLY by the World of Mages.

What do we know about Daphne? She is Baz’s stepmum, and has four kids with Malcolm. From the first book, there are snarky little comments about Daphne’s lack or power and magic. Baz himself makes a shitty comment about how Daphne’s “blood is as thin as gruel”, even though Daphne goes out of her way to make sure he��s got food sent to his room. She’s extra careful in making sure Baz feels safe in his own home. She suggests to Malcolm that Baz should see a therapist for everything he’s been through, making her the ONLY parent who not only acknowledges her child’s trauma, but tries to do something about it!

She is a GOOD mom!

Ok, we know that Baz wears a ton of masks of indifference in Carry On, and he softens up tremendously in Wayward Son, calling her lovely while teaching him to drive a car.

We learn a lot about Daphne in Any Way The Wind Blows. Namely that Fiona has some pretty nasty opinions about her. (That comment about her kids not being legitimate, and that she’s as “thick headed as she is thin blooded”. Now, imagine you’re Daphne, and the widower of the Great Natasha Pitch asks to marry you. That’s already some MASSIVE shoes to fill. You accept, and you do the best you can, taking care of his son and being a positive presence in his life, meanwhile going to all these posh functions where EVERYONE talks about power and magic. Then to have the sister of your husband’s first wife make snarky comments about your level of power and magic.

That stuff sticks with you.

Daphne doesn’t want her kids going to Watford, the ONLY magical school in the UK (as far as we know). She wants her children to succeed and be known for everything they are capable of doing, instead of being ridiculed for all the ways they’ll come up short. According to Baz, the only reason Daphne graduated from Watford was because she was smart enough to pass every exam (yet, Fiona still makes snarky comments about her intelligence).

Daphne is well aware of how painful it can be to live in the World of Mages and not be a powerhouse magician. Like Martin, she takes matters into her own hands and seeks out a way to make herself more powerful.

It is heartbreaking to look at these three amazing, beloved characters, and think about the suffering they have had to endure by their peers. Both Daphne and Martin get frustrated when those around them question their choice to follow Smith-Richards, stating “you don’t know what it’s like”. Luckily for Daphne, Baz makes an effort to actually understand her, and doesn’t judge her. Even when Fiona mocks her, Baz defends his stepmum. When Daphne berates herself and compares herself to Natasha, Baz reflects on how Natasha would have killed him (something Daphne would NEVER do to any of her children).

We know that Watford did not allow magical creatures, or differently-abled magicians (I use this term for a reason) to study there until the Mage came around and allowed everyone into Watford. This was a great thing, because now, every magical child was given the opportunity to learn how to speak with magic.

However, it should not have stopped there. I spoke earlier on differentiation and on finding the right place for everyone’s magic. What if magicians like Martin, and Daphne, and Agatha are all powerful in their own right, and they just haven’t found their place where their magic fits? Instead of finding the right way to teach these magicians, they are left to struggle and ultimately resent their magic and the magic of the world around them.

Do I hear a social commentary on the state of standardized education? I can’t really comment on the British Educational System, nor the American one, as I am Canadian. What I can say, from my own experience in Canadian classrooms, is that for all the talk we do on making education inclusive, there is still a big push from higher ups for high grades and standardized testing. If any of my followers are British or American and care to share your two cents, feel free to do so. Let’s keep the conversation going!

I think this post might have gotten away from me. I think my point was to act as a defense for people like Daphne and Martin who found themselves fished into a scam all for the promise of feeling like they are enough in their world. I also wanted to defend people like Agatha, who did all she could to run away from all of it, only to find the place where she (and her magic) belonged.

I remember having this discussion on Discord, and one of the points that came up was that maybe The Greatest Threat to the World of Mages was this deeply ingrained prejudice over magicians with different sorts of magic. Magicians who need that extra bit of help to find their way.

We’ve seen in this series how these prejudices can threaten to split the World of Mages apart, and it looks like magicians like Penny, Baz, and Agatha are learning from these mistakes. Only time (and us fanfiction writers) will tell how they end up shaping their world for the future generations.

#any way the wind blows spoilers #awtwb spoilers #meta #is it though? #I mean I GUESS #the simon snow trilogy #the simon snow series #magical equality #the world of mages #this is really just a defense for Daphne