#i remember it being so weird as a child to lose something you've had for so long

[gracelesstars]

"Back when you first came into my life, I recalled a place that I knew as a child A special place One that I held close to my heart Won’t you lead me in a dance down this winding road where light and shadow entwine to take hold of the thoughts of the one left far behind? Know that, sometimes, I want to turn around and see the things that I’ve passed on the journey, but know with love on my side, with courage and pride, I’ll fight I will carry on"

R.I.P. Akira Toriyama

#Akira Toriyama #Dragon Ball #dragonball #dbz #dragon ball GT #Goku #I haven't seen that stupid fcking show for like 17yrs why the hell am i crying?? #like damn #I started watching it when I was 5 #and then it became the first show that I saw to the end #Dragon Ball GT being the first series finale that I've ever experienced #i remember it being so weird as a child to lose something you've had for so long #for years I've been rushing home back from school to be able to see it on TV #...and then decades later seeing that everyone in the world was obsessed with it #it wasn't just my silly little kid show #like everyone under 50 know about Goku #as someone else said he really be up there with Sherlock Holmes Dracula and other legendary characters #What a legacy Akira Toriyama Thank you

[tsururoach]

EXCUSE ME I RECENTLY DISCOVERED VOCALOIDS AND IMMEDIATELY FELL IN LOVE WITH OLIVER /p

thank you for blessing us with ur Oliver art <3 he needs more love fr. and more happy songs.

i just got here so im not sure if you've mentioned it before, but do you have a fav Oliver song? :3

I'm glad you like my art of him! I've been drawing him for 9-ish years now, but it's always nice to hear other fans of his also like my art! I don't actually talk to a lot of Oliver fans haha.

I always really really admired Dappleback/Lawlietlk's designing skill, and I had a whole presentation how much I appreciated his character design and how it lead back into why I think as a vocaloid he has one of the best designs.

Like don't get me wrong, Vocaloid (and other synths) have really good designs, just sometimes they aren't necessarily as good as Vocaloid designs y'know?

Like hear me out, I feel like the biggest appeal of vocaloid mascots is this: They can be whatever you want. Now on one hand you can argue that 'no mascot' is even Moreso freedom and should have worked better than mascot, but what's missing is the intrigue. There is a breeding ground of creativity hidden beneath restriction.

Like, often enough what people need most in order to create something is just a guideline, and for me that's what Oliver offers. Like, sometimes, too much canon is a bad thing, and people need to remember that.

The #1 selling point of Oliver's design is the intrigue his design offers. There's so much of it that once changed loses that 'space of expression.' And yet, no matter how much you are able to change, he also is able to maintain that 'constant' that lets you know that yes, that is still him, even if you change it. I don't have it anymore but it's been years, but I had a whole chart explaining it.

Over the years Oliver has gotten a lot of motifs and concepts assigned to him, that only derive from smaller aspects of his designs, for example: His bandages.

While you may argue it's not entirely unique, that is exactly the beauty of it. It's because of that so many different concepts stem from it.

One of the biggest themes correlated with Oliver is a monster/horror theme and you have the bandages to thank for it. The amount of concepts I've seen born from the sheer mystery of his bandages were so vast it's crazy. Whether it's because he's a cryptid/monster/cursed or otherwise, people are forced to make an effort to use that "why?"

And on the flip side, there is other mysteries people find from his bandages that aren't horror, they're instead going for something else: A poor waif, a vigilante, a witch, and etc. Through the simple [why], Oliver becomes limitless.

And while we're still discussing his bandages, there is elsewhere you can find beauty in his design. I know a lot of his fans are or were children when they became fans of him, and I know for a fact that some of them related to his design. It's not like he had much to go against them in thinking that-- and it's not just because of his song. For me as a child I projected onto him as a (character) as someone I could relate to. That's uh, probably why a lot of people tend to use him for horror or darker stuff. I know that some people are... unsavory, but that's why I don't really like when people hate on horror content made from him. I know a lot of people are weird about him, but it's a form of self-expression all the same.

Even aside from his bandages, his design still manages to offer intrigue. While Miku allows herself to be a blank canvas (being a mascot with very little ties, a digital idol who represents exactly that) Oliver is more like... a puzzle? Except there is no wrong answer and every time you put it together, it's always different.

There was a lot of misconceptions around his design, but Oliver was based off choirboy outfits-- not that everyone knew that. A lot of people interpreted it as a sailor outfit with nautical themes. That's why you can often see Oliver with sea-themed artworks or songs and/or if it's still around, sea-side waif depictions of him. But on the other side, there were quite a few interpretations of Oliver as a time-traveler- a noble- or hell: a literal bird boy.

Had he been given a more generic design, a more modern one, a more idol-esque version of himself, most of these interpretations of him would not exist. There would be less incentive for people to create that answer without the "why."

I don't really have a proper ranking on a more 'objective' ranking of designs as vocaloid specific mascot designs, but I feel like it's somewhat similar to... actual popularity?

Like... If i had to separate them, there's three categories in a venn diagram: Just straight up Good design (though I'd argue a lot of the other two would still fit in here), Fill-in the blank design, and blank canvas design.

I would say the OG Miku fits in all 3 categories but has been erring into just good design or her own category: too engrained into pop culture to fail.

Fukase is a good example of a Fill-in design, because he also has the classic "why" to his design. (Why is his coat like that? why does he have scars? is he human? is he a robot? Is he circus themed? Who knows?) You can see a lot of exploration of his character through that.

Vflower I feel like is primarily in the blank canvas design, because she more-so encompasses a certain fashion style and is able to attract the blank canvas of gender expression as well.

At the moment, to be honest, I can't really think of someone who only fit's in the straight up good character design but doesn't offer any mystery or fluidity, but that might just be my personality.

To be entirely clear, this venn diagram is probably closer to just a single circle instead of 3, but I'm mostly talking about which part of their design they align most with. (and the most common consensus of how to interpret them.

To be honest this is probably why I feel a bit like a Fake Oliver fan, bc I care more about his design more than his voicebank itself. (Sweats as I look at the vocaloid editor on my computer)

Man. Favorite Oliver song is tough.

Favorite Usage

I'll only be mentioning the publicly released songs using him, since it's a bit unfair if I recommend you something you either have no access to or I'm unable to find again.

To be honest I'm not a huge fan of some of Oliver's most known producers, mostly because I know they're not great people and refuse to support them. It's none of my business if you still listen to them, but I'd rather not. But, It's nice going down my old masterlist of Oliver originals.

I really like Rawbeans-P, if you ever heard her usage of Oliver, it's crazy stunning. Probably some of the best usage of him you'll ever hear.

Cat in a raincloud I know is relatively popular among my friends that I've pushed Robyn's music onto.

I feel like high up there is also Corasundae, who is honestly has a pretty refreshing (?) song-making style. I'm really not a music guy- meaning I never learnt a lot of terms properly and can't describe a lot of things to you, but I really like the general sound that corasundae uses in her works.

I think T.V.V.S is a pretty iconic song, but I'm emotionally attached to Other Side.

One of the songs I see people rarely talking about is Requiescat in Pace- I get it's probably because it's an older song, but I've always liked how it sounded and was a staple for me as a kid (and still fairly fresh into Vocaloid.) I don't think PARADIGM really released much else, but this song is sooo cool, I think about it a lot!

I'm not sure if you don't like horror, or just disappointed that it's a majority of his songs, but I don't think it's leaning too much into horror? It's really good though!

Another one of my favorite Vocaloid producers (the one I bought a keychain from as well!) is Veran Kuriensu! I found them originally from their original Lay, and it's possibly still one of my favorite Vocaloid Oliver Originals still to this day. While it's my favorite, I do know that they've improved drastically and their other works with Oliver is crazy good, but Lay has a special spot to me and makes me feel especially Nostalgic.

I've always liked how the lyrics sounded as well. I think otherwise my second favorite song from them is 星をあつめに. It's really good I Promise. Please please do give their stuff a chance!!

I feel like another producer I'd recommend for similar reasons to Rawbeans-P is Baggagelizard. He's always forever been kind of a legend to me! He's a super cool guy, and he has really good usage of Oliver's voicebank as well. One of my favorite songs he's done is Song for the forgotten, which was even my Oliver Collab piece back in like... 2016? That's honestly a bit crazy to me seeing how long it's been.

Baggagelizard tends to have such a special sound to the music he makes, I think it's kind of... a morose wistfulness? If you're into this one, I genuinely hope you check out his other works as well!

Actually I'm adding this one, because I really like the atmosphere of it! It's called Tavern and it's a really fun song using Big Al, Oliver, and Kaito and I think it's such a fun song! Apparently other Oliver fans I've recommended it said it wasn't their cup of tea though (′д｀σ)σ.

OH and how could I forget: Childhood Bye-Bye is honestly borderline a classic for me! I think it's a really iconic song, but it always surprises me that it's not as popular as I think it is. The producers other works are also really good!

Oooh, another Producer I can recommend is Compasscat! They use Uni, SeeU, and sometimes Oliver (maybe other vocaloids but I'm actually writing this in class (lol). You should try checking them out! I think I enjoyed it but I've been told the things I like are... different from how other people like things.

Actually, on the thought of not-so dark songs using Oliver, I hardly see any Oliver fans (or Yohioloid) fans talking about Yellow Card. I hadn't listened to it for years, but I still think it's pretty fun to this day, you could try checking it out if you feel like it. While we're at it, I'll add a bunch of special mentions for songs I knew were fairly liked enough when I was deeper into vocaloid but never see people talk about anymore as well. To be honest, I'd have a lot more to add to this list, but a lot of Oliver Originals I really liked are deleted or missing.... I understand it's at the producer's own discretion, but it's a little sad.

Unfortunately, A lot of the Bilibili/Niconico songs that I really liked were deleted or really really hard to access/find, but I'll reblog if I find them again.

#vocaloid #vocaloid oliver #roachie recs #Roach rambles #Not my art #vocaloid recommendations

[nehswritesstuffs]

So, um, it's time for Nehs to go off again on One Piece bc my gears are turning thanks to Lore Piece being solid as per usual. Spoilers for chapter 1097 are under the cut, as well as talk of some of the basis of Crocomom, a fanon theory I do not ascribe to but don't necessarily dismiss, so if you do dismiss it then don't read I guess.

Okay, um... so I've been kind of thinking that Bonney isn't really twenty-four years old for a while and something more like a middle schooler (10-14), but this chapter to me sort of soft-confirmed it, as well as set things up for this other crazy-ass fucking thing I didn't think was even possible.

'Cause the end of the chapter puts things fourteen years ago, right? No mention so far of a kid despite Ginny's enthusiasm to get into Kuma's pants. Oda would have mentioned a kid, especially if it was already ten years old. Kuma is too cute to have been a dad and NOT gotten a moment with his baby. (LORD ALMIGHTY why is Kuma so adorable in this edition of Lore Piece I just wanna smush his cheeks and tell him he's doing a fantastic job at caring for his flock and being a rebel.) This means that Bonney is one of a few things:

Kuma and Ginny's daughter they had after rescuing her, giving her a different family name to distance her from the Buccaneer race, ala Ace going by Portgas

Ginny's rescued relative we don't know exists yet

Kuma's adoptive daughter that he takes in bc she looks hauntingly like Ginny

Ginny's daughter from things happening while she was kidnapped

Ginny's clone in the Clone Trooper sense, taken and prematurely aged

Ginny's clone in the Boba Fett sense, taken w/o being aged

No matter how you shake it, unless Bonney is some until-now-unknown child waiting to be rescued, all of these options point to her actually being somewhere around tween/young teen in actuality but presenting like an adult in order to get taken seriously. The anti-eyebrow piercing would even play into that, being a potential way for a kid to prove they're so big and tough and able to run with the big kids take me with you Shanks I'm no anchor. So, we're getting to her true origins soon, also where Vegapunk comes into play, whether he is a cause or a secret-keeper or whatever.

Now, remember how I said something about Crocomom? As it turns out, I feel like if we get any confirmation for the trans!Crocodile fan theory, it's gonna be within the next two or three chapters. Why? I think Croc is potentially connected to whomever captured Ginny. Iva, being their fabulous self, is not above using their power to disorient opponents. While this could mean that Crocodile is a cis man but got temporarily femme'd and turned back after humiliation, it also leaves open the possibility for Iva putting Croc through permanent HRT for either punishment purposes (so unwitting ftm not changing you back candy you've been bad now go learn a lesson) or for negotiation purposes (already afab ftm but give us our Ginny back and I can make you grow a dick and lose your tit fat). While I don't think that Crocodile was necessarily designed to be transgender from the beginning, I also feel like Oda has to know about the Crocomom/trans!Croc fanon and he is specifically the kind of author who just shrugs and goes with shit fans make up. That's how he got almost all, if not every single, birthday for the cast, so why not this twist? Like, I wasn't sold on it the first time I encountered this theory, but like I said: I never discounted it because we never know what's going on in Oda's brain. He really gave us a good potential set up here, so it'd be weird if he didn't use it.

(I still think that Crocomom specifically is a long shot since Luffy's five at this point, so unless Dragon is going to potentially wage war on his ex/babymama and neither of them mention Luffy, it leaves even more parts of the puzzle that don't quite fit (and Croc wouldn't already be ftm bc that's a lost chance at a new character design, which we all know Oda is shit at resisting). There's a lot of them that already don't fit to me, but that's neither here nor there. I'm just concerned that even if we do have ftm!Crocodile thanks to Iva's Devil Fruit, that a lack of Crocomom would mean that One Piece has its own version of the Blaise Zabini Debacle in the works (apologies for bringing HP into it but it's true) and we as a fandom are better than that.)

OR I COULD BE WRONG ABOUT ALL OF THIS AND GINNY WAS CAPTURED BY MARINES, GIVING HER TO VEGAPUNK FOR EXPERIMENTS, WHICH WOULD LEAD INTO OTHER STUFF but yeah

None of this theorizing I think could have been possible, like, ten/fifteen years ago, because part of me feels like Oda has been putting his foot down a lot based on what it is we've been getting. Some stuff could have, yeah, been sort of meddled with by the editors/SJ at this point, but it feels like he's been able to get away with a lot more than he did before. Being such an important asset can do that.

...but yeah, if none of this happens (or is at least more firmly kickstarted) by chapter 1100, chances are that we're not getting it.

#One Piece #One Piece spoilers #1097 spoilers #I love that Oda of all people says trans rights bc that's funny as shit #so even if none of this goes down that doesn't change what we got #I might tag other things later but right now this is here

[avemstella]

Pantalone's Constellation Misinfo and Likely Influence

Hello and welcome to Avem rambles where I'm about to take you guys down an insane rabbit hole I discovered at 1 am and stayed up until almost 4 trying to figure out what was going on and losing my mind. And the topic in question is the mystery that is the Constellation that is probably our anti-capitalist king Pantalone's, as shown above.

(However just as a disclaimer, this is not confirmed as of the writing of this in 3.3. Just putting that out there because harbinger con speculation has been going on from day one and anyone who ever claims they are 100% certain a con is for a certain harb, they are from my experience often proven wrong. only confirmed ones are Scara/childe/Sigs. Also just in general this is a theory post and I could be wrong about some stuff, so please let me know if you have evidence that contradicts my points etc. I would love to hear it, this post will go into (spoilers) unquestioned mis-info so I would be hypocritical otherwise)

But yes, if you've been around any Harbinger constellation speculation you have probably heard the claim that this Constellation we are discussing is a symbol for Heresy, and there was a lot of postulating about how it could be Dottore's based on his real name likely being Zandik which means heretic and just in general his whole deal. However as seen above its probably Pantalone's considering he's wearing it, which raises some questions but its not inconceivable for him to be associated with heresy. But ultimately it doesn't matter whose it is, because that's not actually what this post's about, so get ready.

So, if you've seen anyone talking about this symbol meaning heresy, you've probably seen one of the above pictures, or some similar variation. Or maybe when you googled "heresy symbol" you saw these symbols in the results. That's what I did, and immediately alarm bells went off in my head.

Because, all these pictures have one thing in common, all their sources have one thing in common. They all link to stock image sites. ALL OF THEM. There were more examples, but every picture on google images of this symbol or a variation all linked to a stock image site, to these generic corporate simplified icons. And none of those sites had their source, they were often bundled with other generic religious symbols, some normal and others equally weird.

So I took a different angle, I looked up "heresy religion" and other derivatives to find some actual historical/religious sources. Maybe its just because we live in a corporate hell and these ones got sent to the front of the line. But I looked, and looked, and looked. No actual scholarly source has this symbol anywhere. Because the thing is, despite what these stock images say, Heresy is not an official region (or even a cult). Because by definition, heresy is just a derivative of a religion, an action that goes against religious doctrine. And even me looking into 'heretical' religions by other names gave me no results. None of their symbols are similar beyond maybe a cross motif which means nothing.

(side note If anyone can actually find a proper source that uses this symbol, I will love to see it. prove me wrong though I'll be honest as what I'm about to get into, I don't think u can)

So at this point I was pulling out my hair because what the fuck. Where did this symbol even come from!? Why is this symbol associated with heresy? It was a terrible hour of the night but I didn't care, I had to figure it out.

Which is when I saw something that clicked something into place and lit up a path to the future. That suddenly made me remember something else that had kept popping up in my searches but I just dismissed because obviously it has nothing to do with my search for heresy.

Warhammer 40,000

I found it!

Holy shit. Its not a cross its a SWORD

So yes, lets backtrack slightly. So in my journey to find the heresy, Warhammer 40k kept popping up. Both in the images and in the normal search linking to the wiki etc. But beyond a cursory glance to confirm I didn't see the symbol, I dismissed it because obviously it has nothing to do with this. It was just popping up because Heresy was a term used in the game, but the symbol for its was this:

Which was not what I was looking for (also should mention I know basically nothing about warhammer, but from my googling this is also a symbol of a civil war not a religion). But then of course I saw the other symbol above, and went wait fuck and proceeded to do a deep dive.

Won't pretend I have actually learned anything about Warhammer, but thats fine this isn't really about Warhammer either, its about the internet.

Because you see the Warhammer community like any good community, has its memes. And what is one such meme from Warhammer: The Heresy meme

When I googled "warhammer 40k heresy" the first sujestion was to add "meme" to it, and from what I've researched its a super popular old meme. And while not immedietly connected to the above symbol, it does show up. For example, in the "Heresy symbol" google search from earlier, there's this one:

And hey look, there's a cross symbol with the wings. Also fun fact, in a lot of the "heresy symbol" designs theres an orb shape between the wings. Well look at this:

Oh look at that, isn't that similar.

So yes, long story short I'm fairly certain the so-called "heresy symbol" is not in fact some ancient symbol, but in fact a reference to Warhammer that went through an extreme game of internet telephone resulting in stock media sites copying the symbol from each other and it bit by bit transforming it into something unrecognizable and then into obscurity (these things have no downloads on these sites). Only for one day a genshin theorist to accidentally google something super specific and find them and take it at face value and now I see people claiming its a heresy symbol all the time. I'm torn between laughing and crying. The power of misinformation.

So, what is this constellation supposed to be then, if it isn't a heresy symbol (we are assuming hoyo did proper research and didn't use a symbol for heresy that isn't actually a thing). Well fun fact, part of the reason I did research on this thing was that I already had a theory about it and was really confused why everyone was calling it a heresy symbol. And was like, I guess I'll look into it to see why everyone was saying that and well u know the rest.

But yes, this constellation. I'm fairly certain its actually supposed to be referencing a Globus cruciger. Aka one of these things:

Hey, isn't that shape familar. It also much like the original constellation, the cross ends at the orb.

So what is this thing and how does it relate to Pantalone (we are assuming its his constellation, he's wearing it)

According to the wiki (which is properly sourced) its:

"known as 'the orb and cross', is an orb surmounted by a cross. It has been a Christian symbol of authority since the Middle Ages, used on coins, in iconography, and with a sceptre as royal regalia.

The cross represents Christ's dominion over the orb of the world, literally held in the hand of an earthly ruler. In the iconography of Western art, when Christ himself holds the globe, he is called Salvator Mundi (Latin for 'Saviour of the World')."

Huh, a symbol of royalty, power, and riches, how apt. Also fun fact here's one of the Russian ones because these are our fake Russian's after all.

And if you weren't convinced by that, I have something else to tell you.

Also a quote from the wiki:

"The globus cruciger was used as the alchemical symbol (♁) for antimony. It was also used as an alchemical symbol for Lupus metallorum “the grey wolf” supposedly used to purify alloyed metals into pure gold."

An Alchemical symbol associated with the purification of GOLD. Genshin loves their alchemy and even disregarding that, this constellation is probably Pantalone's aka the Harbinger's money man.

Who has this quote from the Pale Flame set, "Money is the lifeblood of the world, and the pathways along which it flows are the world's arteries. Then, the center of the world is a heart made of gold."

Pantalone a man who desires to control the world through controlling money.

"We shall, by whatever means necessary, become the heart that pumps money around the world." "And, when the moment comes, that heart shall cease beating by our will alone."

The Globus cruciger is literally symbolic of a ruler holding the world in their hands. A symbol of gold and power, it suits Pantalone perfectly.

#genshin impact #pantalone #fatui harbingers #avem rambling #genshin theory #so yeah this is the result of me going insane but ultimately really fun #I've thought this con would be pants forever (like long before his design) #and after all this research I'm even more certain I got it right for the right reasons #but yes this was not made to diss anyone for spreading misinfo #it happens to the best of us (including myself) #but do be careful! #but ultimately the fact that this ended up in warhammer stuff endlessly kills me #I laugh every time I think about it #and now I lose it ever time I see someone claiming for the symbol to be a heresy symbol #but yes 100% if someone has an actual source of this symbol having to do with heresy #or tbh used elsewhere with some other meaning then the 2 I discussed #I would love to see it! #prove me wrong!

[bookwyrminspiration]

okay and general reactions bc i wrote them in my notes app when i remembered to. me going "OLA ESCAPED????" was quickly followed by "OLA DIED??????" and then ten minutes of quietly sobbing as kihrin said "i lost. you all won." etc etc and THEN (when kihrin was in hell w janel) "diversity win! the giant all consuming demon that traumatized you when you were fifteen transcends gender!" followed by me getting SOOO enraptured in this book. was whisper screaming and going "OHHHH" like a high schooler watching a fight which progressively got louder until kihrin's hand closed around the handle of urthaenriel and then i had to put down the book and fucking. WHEEZE. my bad dude just uh pulled the magic sword you've been planning to steal for decades out of the fucking ground. what's up.

but ALSO also ALSO. the characters are so DISTINCT. im already staring at janel like what is up with you what HAPPENED with the demons why do you roam hell at night and why do people think you're something holy. but also just in general the entire first book cast.... teraeth and khaemezra (DEATH????) and thurvishar (<- help. am i spelling that one right) and jarith and therin and miya-khaeriel.... like they're so memorable and so much fun i haven't read a book with such solid characters in SUCH a huge worldspace in so so long. and then kihrin's humor which is like so intrinsic to a main character obviously they're going to be funny but it makes you laugh at such INOPPORTUNE TIMES. when talon healed from the crossbow and kihrin just stared at her and was like "I just want you to know this has been a really bad day." him going "AHAHAHAHA. THIS ISN'T A PROPHECY THIS IS JUST PEDRON BRAGGING THAT HE GETS AROUND." the long pause after darzin came in swinging after talon-as-alshena and kihrin did a thing. etc etc. the humor & the tone etc reminds me vaguely of Saga by. oh no i can't remember the author. brian vaughn i think? which is an ongoing series of comics about a kid named hazel who is the child of a winged lady and a guy with horns who were on opposite sides of a war & were then forced to become Parents and On the Run, and there are TV heads and stuff, it is very fun despite (waves my hand in its general direction) weirdness

Sorya you don't understand this is all I have ever wanted in life, someone to scream about this series with <- said as if I'm not in a discord for that specific purpose. It's SO fun to share this experience with someone

But you're so right! The way this series is you have very little clue who is going to be important and stay important, so when Surdyeh, father figure I figured would stay around a while, died at the very beginning and then Ola died at the end? It was just a well guess they're not that important after all kind of moment. Had to kill Surdyeh to replace him with Darzin and then kill Darzin to replace him with Therin. Kihrin is burning through these father figures damn.

And yes!! The ending of book 1 KILLS me, he lost. They all won. Things go so so incredibly south. And yet the story goes on, it's not over yet; you don't get to walk away.

DIVERSITY WIN!! Seriously though there are quite a handful of diversity wins like that in this series, which I highly appreciate. Is it perfect? Of course not, but DAMN do I appreciate that Lyons wasn't afraid to fuck around

Also imagine being Gadrith in that moment?? I am undead and have spent longer than you can imagine scouring the world for this once specific sword that you happened to grab on accident. from the middle of the city I live in. I think I'd lose my shit. Well, he kinda did actually

YEAH!! The cast is huge but no one bleeds into each other, there's a full range of beliefs and morals and opinions and personalities and backgrounds and it's SO impressive. Just so you know you will get to spend a lot of time with Janel though, so that's something to look forward to. I adore her with every fiber of my being. She could kill me without a second thought, and that's not just me saying that because I like her. She genuinely could absolutely decimate me in a variety of ways. And if you think the distinct characters are impressive now, just you wait because Lyons practically doubles if not triples the cast and!! they are all!! still!! so distinct from each other!!

And Kihrin is such a little shit and it's so endearing. Not in a "I'm not taking anything seriously and lets fuck around way" but in a "god fucking dammit I have no choice but to do all this shit, might as well try and have fun while I'm at it." Maybe it's a little cliche for a main character to be so so silly, but it's Kihrin and I'd forgive him of any and all sins.

I have never heard of Saga before, but perhaps I'll check it out! I am thrilled that you are enjoying this series btw, cannot express that enough. i refuse to shut up about it ever

#a chorus of dragons #the ruin of kings #quil's queries #soryasongsaa #also! author is like. currently announcing a new standalone book and the discord is freaking out (in a good way) #so! if you're looking for something else to read in like. probably a year or something idk #i will be reading it there is zero doubt about that

[lazydreamsublime]

Do You Pinky Promise

CH.4

I Keep Tryin' Just To Make It To The End Of The Day You Know I Hate It

Summary: You should've been more aware! Why were you even thinking!? What in your mind made you think this was a great idea!? How can you be so careless? ..... Where do you go from here? You need to take steps, SOMETHING needs to happen. But what?

Triggers: There is drug abuse, there is violence, different kinds of smokes and child abuse in this story. Please be mindful of the following content.

Silco x addict!f!reader

AO3 Chapter1 Chapter2 Chapter3

Three days.

You've stayed home for three days.  

Doing nothing.  

Laying in your torn up, old pjs, being angry at yourself. 

You haven’t taken any pills since that night. You couldn’t even bring yourself to look at the bottle. 

Knowing it was half empty. 

You decided that someone pissed you off, ‘so you must take more opioids to help you calm down’. 

The hell were you thinking? 

 Now a guy lost his leg, and is being prepped as a new installation in the chem berserkers. 

You sit up on the couch you were laying on, and stare at the three bottles of pills that sit on the coffee table in front of you. The two that Sevika brought you that same night, and the one that Silco teased you with. The one you took one too many from. 

You can feel the itch - the NEED to take some. 

‘Why do you let him control you?’

Why do you?  

‘You are allowing him to control you even from this distance.’ 

You glare defiantly at the bottle. A fucking bottle. 

You can hear it laughing. It sounds like his. That mocking laugh he always had when things went his way. 

‘Aaaww! Poor girly got too much candy! Look at the mess she made trying to walk!’ 

The bottles behind sound like his friends. Laughing with him.

That bastard deserves to be burned alive. 

You shake your head, make the thoughts go away. That’s the last place your mind needs to go right now. Change it, now. 

It doesn’t work of course, your mind can’t help but go back to that night. Instead, you think about the end of it. How warm Silco’s embrace was, how comforting and soft his voice sounded. How he walked you home, and shared stories of his own childhood.

He tried to make you feel less alone. The asshole who always invaded your privacy and annoyed you one way or another. Each one of his visits was like a jab at you, trying to get under your skin.

‘Still wearing the same attire? Why not wear something nicer?’ 

‘I work at a factory, not a fucking brothel. Now can you not bother me while I’m loading shimmer on a transport please?’ 

You actually smile at the memory. That was one of his first surprise visits, before the whole missing shimmer debacle. When you think back, he almost seemed at ease. You’ve never seen him work with anyone else so you can’t really compare, but you're sure that he’s at least comfortable around you. 

You at least tried to annoy him back. Never seemed to work though. 

'Copious. Isn't that a weird word? Like, who came up with it and thought that's an awesome word?' 

'Is this what you spend your time doing instead of working?' 

'Only when I'm high.'  

You wouldn't call it a friendship, but there was some sort of ease that was between you two. Not sure what to call it yet. 

You go into your bathroom to rinse your face off in the sink. You look up into your broken mirror, pieces of glass missing from the frame. You’re not being able to make out anything other than the color of your eyes and your hair. You truly can’t remember what you look like. 

Has it really been that long? 

Well, this is as good a start as any. 

You rummage through your junk drawer until you feel a thin handle. You pull it out and see you found your mother’s old hand mirror. It came with a cover so the glass wouldn’t break easy when not in use. 

She gave it to you when you left home. 

‘Don't lose yourself in the dark streets of the night. They can do more to your psyche than you think.’ 

Maybe you should’ve taken that to heart. 

You take a deep breath, face the mirror towards you, and remove the cover. 

It took everything in you to not drop the thing. Staring back at you was a face you haven’t seen in almost twenty years. Ever since you left home. And now you remember why. 

A scar. 

A deep ugly scar that started from your right brow and ended at the bottom of your left cheek. 

You remember how you got it. You remember having nightmares about it. 

You remember wanting to forget it. 

You didn’t think you’d succeed. Especially not this effectively. 

You’ve decided, this will now be step one. Everyday, take a good look at yourself. And right now, you look terrible. That’s going to change. 

Time for step two, admitting your weaknesses and your defeat. 

But you had to do it in a certain way. 

You get dressed in some clean clothes, trying to put some effort into your appearance for a change. You take another look at yourself in the propped up hand mirror and quickly try to style your hair differently. 

Emphasis on TRY. 

You shrugged it off, moved on to shoving all the pill bottles in a bag and walked out the door. 

You walked for a good half hour before you arrived at The Last Drop. Ignoring the deafening music, you made your way through the crowd. 

It hits you that you've never been here before. You just know this is a base of sorts.

A hand grabs your shoulder and you swerve around to see Sevika. She doesn’t try to speak knowing she won’t be heard over the noise. Instead she starts guiding you over to the stairs towards the back. Once you reach them she signals you to keep walking up, before you question it she blends with the crowd once more. 

So you walk up and enter a long hallway filled with doors.

You find this big important looking one, think ‘fuck it’, and open it without knocking. 

There he is. Sitting in a fancy looking chair, leaning over a fancy desk, drinking out of a fancy cup. 

Everything about this screams ‘snob’. You have half a mind to comment on it, make a joke out of it, but this was far too serious to ignore. You had to do this if you wanted to break free. 

“I’m busy.” He doesn’t even look up to see who just walked in without knocking. So you take that as an invitation despite what he just said. 

You close the door, walk up to his desk, and set the bag of pills on his desk. He finally looks up to see who’s disturbed his work. If he’s surprised it’s you, he doesn’t give off any hints.  

You both just look at each other for a moment. You’re having second thoughts. 

NO. 

You’re committed. 

You look him dead in the eyes, still remembering his question. 

You finally have an answer. 

“Cause I wanted to prove I could beat him.” 

He hums and sits back, giving you his full attention. 

“When I was seven, my dad left home to become an enforcer. He wanted to make a difference. He never came back. Two years later, mommy hated being alone, so much so she preferred an abusive asshole over nothing at all. What she didn’t know was that he’s a drug lord. He gets all sorts of medical shit from topside, either sells it as is or makes something new with it.” 

He never interrupts, he doesn’t make any faces. He just sits there and listens. 

“I of course didn’t immediately become an addict when he ‘forced them down my throat’, but I remember how I did.” 

You take a deep breath to steady your nerves, you refuse to break now. It doesn’t matter that you’ve never talked to anyone about this before, it doesn’t matter that the first person will be Silco. He asked a question.

He’ll get his answer. 

“One day, when I was fourteen, my mother was acting strange. She was loopy, one could say high. I guess in a way she was. Skipping ahead a bit, she was so out of it, she wondered….what my face would look like covered in blood. She just had to find out. So she took a kitchen knife and made a slow deep cut across my face. Didn't matter how much I screamed for her to stop.”

You took another breath.

“Dickhead came later with the pills saying they’d help numb the pain. He was telling the truth about that. What he didn’t share was the euphoria that would shoot through your brain when taking it, and how it can alter your nerves by making you feel the pain if you ever stop using it even though the wounds long since healed. So once I started taking it with a cut across my face, I couldn’t stop. Even now, with only three days of no meds, I can feel my face burning. And it’s only going to get worse

Your brows furrowed. 

“But I don’t care. I want you to keep those damn things as far away from me as possible. Lock them away if you have to. I will not be looking at another pill bottle until I’m clean and free.”     

He hums again, his eyes straying away from yours in thought. He stands and rounds his desk slowly. 

"I must admit. I was confident you'd be killing him by now." 

"Don't get it twisted, he WILL DIE. But I want to show him that he doesn't control me anymore first." 

He looks up at you again. "What prompted this?" 

"When I took that guy's leg." 

"What does that have to do with the medication?" 

"Silco, I overdosed. I was so pissed off that my fucked up brain immediately went to the pills and I didn't think twice! The bastard got what he deserved, don't go thinking I'm squeamish or anything like that. Hell, I've taken lives before. But here's the difference. I was in control of myself in those situations, I wasn't in that factory. I wasn't focused." 

"And yet you did exactly what you set out to do. If you hadn't taken the pills, what would you have done differently?" 

"I would have broken his fingers, or possibly an arm. Those can heal! An obliterated limb can't! It was a done deal that he was to become a Chem Berserker, kinda hard to set him up with a missing fucking limb." 

"That's what prosthetics are for." 

"You're missing the fucking POINT Silco. 'I' didn't do that. Brent did!!" 

…..You've always avoided saying his name ….how pathetic are you? 

Silco saw as you tried to hide the shock you felt as you turned your face away. He decided not to comment on it thankfully.  

"You truly wish for me to hold on to them?" 

Desperation is clear in your eyes as you look back at him. "Please." 

He didn't move, just looked at you. Then he opened the bag, took out the half open bottle and placed it on the desk. 

Your fingers twitched - need is flowing through you, and your scar burns more now. 

Silco focused on your hands, his eyes following then as you brought one to your face. Pressing on the old cut in hopes to ease the pain. 

"You're overestimating yourself." 

"What?" You fix him with a glare that can kill. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" 

"It means you think you can just overcome any obstacle that comes before you. And while you have continued to impress me with your work ethic, intellect, and intuition. I'm afraid I don't have much confidence in this idea of yours. Even now, only three days in, you're too temperamental."

Damn it. You look away as you can't argue with him there. 

"So I offer a compromise." He proceeded to open the bottle. "One pill." He places it in his hand and offers it to you. "We will wean you off instead of cutting you off entirely. One pill to merely help with the pain, the bottle will remain here to ward off temptation of more." 

You sighed, it made sense. You wanted to just rip the bandaid off and be done. You were impatient. 

You took the pill, pain subsiding slightly. 

"Only come back here when the pain is intolerable." 

One thing is still bugging you about this whole exchange however. 

"Why are you helping me so much?" 

He pauses from locking up the medication in a wall safe. 

"You could have let me suffer through it and find out the hard way. And I'm sure you're aware Santos can take over from me just fine." 

He finished up his part and looked directly at you. 

"I suppose I should take a hint from yesterday's example and provide you with the truth." 

You send him a light glare at the jab, but wait for his answer. 

"However, I have a better idea." He smirks at your confused look. 

You hate how good it looks on him. 

Wait. 

No. 

That's withdrawal talking. Yeah that's a thing. 

"How long did it take you to form an answer for my question again? A month?" 

He takes a seat at his desk again, "Let's see what happens in that time. And maybe I'll give you an answer." 

….Ok fair. You hated it, but you can tell he wanted a rise out of you. Just like before. He's like a child wanting the attention on him. 

He annoyed the hell out of you, but you weren't going to argue over this. He was already helping you. No need to push for details that aren't important. 

You nodded your head, "Understood, I guess I'll see you around then, boss." 

"And good day to you, manager." 

You left, feeling lighter, yet heavier at the same time. 

“So how was your talk?” 

Behind you is a slim teen with long blue twin braids.The Eye of Zaun’s wild child. People fear Jinx almost as much as Silco. But just like him, you’re not going to kick her ass. Besides, she wears an almost evil smile on her face, she looks like a good distraction. 

“Little girls like you shouldn’t be eavesdropping. Don’t you have a diary to get to?” 

“Ew. No. But, nice try though. Come on, tell me something!” 

“What's there to tell? You’re not even a part of it.” 

“With how much talk there’s been about you here? I might as well be at this point.” 

The, what? 

‘What kind of talk?” 

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about anything bad. You’re pretty much my dad’s new obsession.” 

‘Obsession’? Just how often does he mention you? What the fuck was even saying? What was there to be said!? 

“Ok! So you obviously know me, Jinx, hi. And I obviously know you,” She said your name very giddily. “So, I propose that we get to know each other!” 

You stare at her, with the biggest ‘WHAT’ look. This was a red flag, you just had to engage, you’re in it deep enough with these people, gods you shouldn’t have gone to Silco of all people for help. 

“What do you like to do for fun?” 

What? 

This is what she wanted to know? Your hobbies? 

“Uh, I used to go dirt biking.” 

“Well why’d you stop?” 

“As fun as it can be, admittedly it’s more enjoyable with the right company.” 

“Well then, let’s go!” 

“Wha - what are we doing?” 

“We’re finding out if I’m the right company!”

---------

Make Your Own Arcane Oc in the Actual Artsyle for me Here!

#Silco x oc #silco x reader #silcoarcane #arcane league of legends #arcane fanfic #arcane x reader #silco my beloved #silco and jinx #silco arcane #silco

[gyubby99]

@disneyanddisneyships OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY JUST- I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONEWEEWLEL

Pretend things that haven't existed yet in their timeline, exists so I don't look stewpid. Pls.

It was evening, and the friend group were on a beach hanging out on a vacation. Eve had taken her day off and Ella had someone to cover up for her at the shop, since Eve rarely comes with them on their hangouts. She's a one heck of a good buisnesswoman at the age of 24. She had been baking and making clothes at a young age. She'd taken passion in psychology too. That's how she was able to manage her time and take care of Alistar. He's had a very hard life, and a hard time processing everything that went through.

But he's getting better now. He's met someone he loved even more. And along the way, he's starting to learn how to love himself. His Rose helped him a lot in his worst times. Eve was thankful. Alistar was her friend too.

Back to present time, the group had been talking about when they were younger. Back when everything was all sunshine and rainbows. Except for Alistar, atleast.

Ella had learned that Rosalyn had become very independent at a young age. Being an orphan at six years old was not very easy for her. She had no home but foster care. Once she was ready enough to explore the world and sail to different places, she'd left the place and started on her own journey. By herself. Until she met Alistar and finally, she had something she can call her home.

Alruna, on the other hand, was curious about Deena on something. A topic both would find very interesting unlike the others. Well, Loreley could join them on that matter. She handles death. It'll just be like seeing a horror movie as a cartoon for kids.

Alruna's head turned to Deena. With a curious look on her face, she asked, "Hey, Deena.."

Deena's head perked up, and she looked at her best friend. "Hm?"

"You said you lure men to their deaths, right?" Alruna began.

"Yes. Everyone probably now knows that." Deena responded with a hint of sarcasm.

"Yes. I know. But.." Alruna hesitated for a bit.

"But what?" Deena asks her.

"At what age did you start doing that?" Alruna asks, a bit reluctant as she'd just realized what a dumb question she was about to ask.

"I was nineteen." Deena responded, nonchalantly.

Alruna looked at her in pride. That was her best friend.

"But you're like, eighty thousand years old, right?" Alistar slipped in a question, his arm wrapped around Rosalyn's waist.

Deena nodded. Alistar looked at her in surprise. "Wow. Imagine how many men you've lured to their deaths."

"I know right?! She's so cool!" Loreley butted in giddily from beside her bestfriend. Alruna looked at her weird.

It's not everyday you see someone get excited by actual murder. And it's justified.

"Thank you!" Deena cheered.

"What was your most memorable kill?" Alruna asked her.

Deena smirked, remembering the day she'd given her poor friend the justice she deserved. "Oh, it is memorable..."

Alruna's eyes gleamed, and so did Loreley's. Ella thought that was weird, but as long as they're happy, she guessed...

"Really? Can you tell us about it?" Loreley asked, as if she was a child who was about to get candy.

Deena's smirk remained. She got a guitar from somewhere in the tent.

She strummed her guitar, envisioning the police car sirens and his muffled screams.

She remembered it all too well. Like it was yesterday.

Este's a friend of mine

We meet up every Tuesday night for dinner and a glass of wine

Este's been losing sleep

Her husband's acting different and it smells like infidelity

She says, "That ain't my merlot on his mouth"

"That ain't my jewelry on our joint account"

No, there ain't no doubt

I think I'm gonna call him out

She says

"I think he did it but I just can't prove it"

I think he did it but I just can't prove it

I think he did it but I just can't prove it

No, no body, no crime

But I ain't letting up until the day I die

No, no

I think he did it

No, no

He did it

Alistar shuffled a bit in his seat, getting intrigued. He wondered if she was there in his old kingdom, his father would be a goner.

Este wasn't there

Tuesday night at Olive Garden, at her job, or anywhere

He reports his missing wife

And I noticed when I passed his house his truck has got some brand new tires

And his mistress moved in

Sleeps in Este's bed and everything

No, there ain't no doubt

Somebody's gotta catch him out

'Cause

I think he did it but I just can't prove it

I think he did it but I just can't prove it

I think he did it but I just can't prove it

No, no body, no crime

But I ain't letting up until the day I die

No, no

I think he did it

No, no

He did it

Deena's eyes darkened, remembering the day she'd planned her revenge for her dear friend.

Good thing my daddy made me get a boating license when I was fifteen

And I've cleaned enough houses to know how to cover up a scene

Good thing Este's sister's gonna swear she was with me

Good thing his mistress took out a big life insurance policy

They think she did it but they just can't prove it

They think she did it but they just can't prove it

She thinks I did it but she just can't prove it

No, no body, no crime

I wasn't letting up until the day he

No, no body, no crime

I wasn't letting up until the day he

No, no body, no crime

I wasn't letting up until the day he died

#the prophecy of immortal fire #I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO WRITE THIS. #Spotify

[lordtraco-fanfics]

More Soul Eater AU ideas but for Legends Arceus:

(this has devolved into me practically outlining a fic, apologies.)

(using They/them Akari as placeholder for player character Akari or Rei. ALSO SPOILERS FOR PLA ENDING)

Akari is a meister of sorts. They can unknowingly resonate with the help of the Arc Phone

Between their soul pulsing out their good intentions and the balms reminding the Nobles of their wardens, the frenzies can be quelled

Ingo feels a kinship with Akari, but also a drive to protect them. He chalks it up to them being a child. Of course everyone wants to protect a child.

*COUGHexceptKamadothejerkCOUGH*

Ingo doesn't remember being a weapon shifter, but instincts take over when a meister is in danger.

Akari once fell from very high up in the Highlands, only to be caught by Ingo. Neither were certain how the blades in his arms showed up, but said blades dug into the cliff and kept them both from continuing the fall so...

It didn't last long. Soon they both slipped and-

And Akari was alone, falling again but now had a knife? Something told them to jab it into the cliff

The two had only one goal: protection. Their souls matched wavelengths and intensified until the simple knife scratching at the rock face glowed red.

It partly melted the rocks, allowing for a slowed descent, yet the heat didn't affect Akari at all.

I chose cyndaquil, so I like to think Akari has a fiery soul.

Could do three separate scenes...

Rowlet-choice Akari finds vines growing where the blade touches and is able to grab on

Oshawatt-choice Akari finds the blade darkening and with a single hit at just the right crevice, is able to abruptly stop their fall. (Ceaseless Edge)

No matter how, Akari safely gets down and Ingo transforms back. Despite many questions, he's unable to answer any or repeat the experience

Plus they've gotta beat up an alpha

They both put the mystery aside until the sky breaks and Akari is banished.

Ingo finds Akari and wordlessly becomes a blade once more for them. As a pearl clan warden, he cannot assist. But as a knife he can at least be sure they won't fall again.

It takes a while for Akari to realize the knife is for left-handed use and not just Weird (the knife is a human person, it's already Weird)

"I want to tape you to a roomba." "A what?" "You can talk? As a knife?" "We're derailing here, Akari, what in the world is a roomba?"

Ingo just be chilling through the red chain fetch quest. I'd like to imagine that Azelf gets them both so annoyed that they resonate out of shared frustration.

They're able to lob a gigaton ball as if it were a jet ball thanks to the resonance. It bonks Azelf on the head.

Ingo stays with them even through to the dialga/palkia fight, but deflecting attacks and resonating keeps bringing back wisps of memories and it's distracting them both.

"I must decouple from this train. It was an honor, Akari." Ingo transforms back and shields them from an attack while they ready another balm.

A second of hesitation leads to a quick hug from Ingo. "I'm proud of the heights you've climbed. Set your course to victory on the Singles Train now and we'll battle again."

Akari defeats Dialga/Palkia alone.

Ingo stays at the Training Grounds and refuses to speak on what happened, focused only on facilitating pokemon battles.

(he's remembered just enough for it to really hurt. He misses two people dearly but knows he can't reach them. All he can do is lose himself in pokemon battles)

Akari is crushed but makes a lot of time to battle him anyways. It seems to cheer him up at least a little.

Their training pays off when facing Volo and Giratina.

Finally after catching Arceus, Akari and Ingo are allowed to return home.

Ingo's timing is impeccable because it's just as his brother and Elesa are about to get their butts handed to them

Akari does end up finding Ingo again after returning home. They get to hold Emmet in knife form for all of one second before "Roomba?" "Make me Stabby the Roomba! :)"

Chaos duo Akari and their immediately-adopted uncle Emmet are immune to Parental Glares from Ingo and Elesa.

Aunt Elesa teaching Akari a random assortment of modeling tips, meister stuff, and how to become a gym leader. They listen, never really bringing up that they're already a Champion back home. More fun to be Just a Kid in Unova than the Champion of Sinnoh or the Hero of Hisui.

#soul eater au #nimbasa trio #warden ingo #submas #pokemon legends arceus spoilers #pokemon legends arceus #i have too many fanfics... but i need to make this one. #knife!emmet is 100% the type to ask anyone even mildly trustworthy to tape him to a roomba. it's too good a meme.

[bakugoukatsuki-rising]

Bakugou Katsuki - Rising

So I told someone a while ago I’d be writing an essay on Bakugou’s lines from 284, and I’m keeping true to my word. If you’re wondering which lines, well my friend, these lines;

So this, to me, is one of the most emotionally packed pages of these recent chapters. For one, it shows us that Bakugou has always been watching Deku, the same as Deku has been watching him. Since they were kids, probably from the age of 4, Bakugou was able to tell Deku never thought of himself first, it was always what he could do to help and protect other people with no regard to his own safety or well-being. 

“He’s always been like that.” 

How would Bakugou know Deku has always been this way if he wasn’t paying attention to him? It goes beyond his bullying in Middle School, because he’s watched Deku stand up for other’s his entire life. The very first scene of the manga is Deku protecting a child from Bakugou and his group of misfits, despite being quirkless, and essentially helpless. 

Despite being scared, and knowing he didn’t have the strength to take on those boys, he still stood his ground and did what he could to protect the other kid. Bakugou witnessed that first hand, since he was the aggressor. He was the one Deku was protecting someone from.

There was no way Bakugou wouldn’t remember something like that.

We know he remembered how Deku extended his hand to him when he fell in the stream, even though Bakugou was fine and didn’t need any help. Deku still waded through that water and even risked possibly getting himself hurt, to reach out to Bakugou and make sure he was alright. 

Now, I am going to point out that the stream incident definitely happened before the scene of Deku protecting that boy since it’s evident they’re older in that scene, but it was presented first (literally the first panel of the entire manga), so it takes precedent. 

Then we have the big one, which is the Sludge Villain incident, and Deku’s biggest show of self-sacrifice probably to date within the manga, since he was quirkless and would have certainly ended up dead if All Might hadn’t managed to power up. Even with the times he’s wrecked his body using OfA, he at least had some kind of fighting chance because of the power, but with the Sludge Villain, he had nothing. He was just throwing himself out there in hopes, by some miracle, he could do something to save his friend, even if it meant losing his life in the process. 

Another instance of Bakugou witnessing firsthand the self sacrificial nature of Deku. Throughout the manga we’re given these instances, and the next big one is Bakugou’s kidnapping. Now, he didn’t see Deku’s fight with Muscular, but he did see the aftermath, he saw that ruined body running at him full force with no care to the damage done to himself, and even before that, he saw Shoji carrying him while Deku continued to plan out their plan of rescue, like his entire body wasn’t a crumpled mess. 

Time and time again, Bakugou has been witness to Deku’s behavior, to this self sacrificial nature. The scene above is the first real time we see Bakugou acknowledge it. He tells Deku to stay back, he knows if he continues trying to fight looking like that, he’s going to die. I’ve seen other translations and I believe in the anime he says something to the context of “Don’t come, Deku.” Which, either way you look at it, it gives the same impression of Bakugou trying to protect Deku in that moment. Because he knew if there was an opportunity for Deku to reach, he would have fought until there was nothing left of him. 

“And now that he can do so much more...”

This line is important because it is Bakugou acknowledging Deku’s current strength with OfA, but it is also his confession of worry because he knows who Deku is, and what this means for him. If Deku was reckless and willing to sacrifice himself when he was a 4 year old child with no quirk, well now that he has the strongest power essentially in existence, that means certain death. There is nothing stopping him from completely destroying himself, and we saw a brief example of that when Deku fought Muscular, though not even close to the level he was going at Shigaraki, and what Bakugou was actually getting to witness during this chapter and 285/286. 

I use the above image because it kind of shows how bad off Deku was, which is far worse than when he fought Muscular, let me remind you. That scene is in chapter 285, after he’s essentially destroyed both of his arms hitting Shigaraki probably upwards of 10 times with 100% OfA. 

Remember, Bakugou has been watching all of this from the ground. 

“Something doesn’t feel right, it makes me wanna keep him at arms length.” 

Well ya know, I don’t really blame you for feeling that way, Bakugou, I wouldn’t feel right if the kid I knew my entire life was willing to die at literally every turn without thinking for a split second about himself, either. It’s a little strange, but that’s what makes Deku the unstoppable force that he is, because he has the drive to save people no matter what. Now if he could master his power and depend on other’s, it would be even better, because then maybe he wouldn’t have to kill himself trying to protect people.

But seriously, that line shows Bakugou's uncertainty about getting close to Deku, because that kind of behavior is scary. It's intimidating. To just...throw your life away for the sake of someone else, that's gotta be scary to see someone do, and Bakugou has witnessed it over and over because of his closeness to Deku.

Now for the big one.

"Back then, I ignored my own weakness...so I ended up bullying him."

There's the kicker, folks. The real development we've all been waiting for.

I do want to point out that when Bakugo was 4, he didn't realize he had weaknesses like that. He was honest to God just a bratty kid that probably thought Deku was weird for caring so much about people despite, essentially, being useless to them. Because what could Deku do? Nothing. He couldn't help anyone because he was quirkless, but he still tried, and that's what affected Bakugou so strongly.

So strongly, in fact, that he never forgot it for a single second.

From 4 years old all the way up to 16 years old. 12 years. 12 years Bakugou Katsuki was witnessing Deku's self sacrificial nature. Again and again he watched as this boy who had nothing, continued to fight for something, and then he was granted power, terrifying power, and now Bakugou is left to wonder how the fuck any of this could have happened. Because if Deku had just stayed quirkless and accepted it, maybe, just maybe, he would stop that self sacrifical bullshit. Maybe he would see himself a bit more.

But then he was given OfA, and all of that hope was gone. Now he was given a power meant to take on the greatest evils and every person before Deku had died for the cause, so why would it stop with Deku, who was already ready to get himself killed to protect someone else when he was like 14 years old?

The scenes we have of Bakugou acknowledging Deku's behavior, and acknowledging his own behavior, it's such a raw scene. It takes a lot to acknowledge you've done wrong by someone else. It takes a lot of strength to sit back and recognize those ugly parts of you, and here Bakugou is, doing just that. And he isn't doing it for some self righteous get me off, either. He's doing it because he genuinely cares about Deku's well being, and he always has.

It never came out the right way, and he sees that now, but that doesn't mean the concern wasn't there. He just didn't know the right ways to express it, but as things have gotten more serious and now Deku is truly risking his life for this cause, he's come face to face with it. He can't hide from it anymore. The more OfA develops, the more Deku is going to put himself out there, and Bakugou isn't going to sit around while he kills himself when he could just learn to ask for help.

This stretches all the way into 285 and Bakugou's sacrifice, because he saw Deku about to end up seriously hurt or worse, and he knew he couldn't let that happen. Of all the years spent endlessly tearing himself apart for other people, Bakugou knew he needed to show the other in some way he didn't have to do it like that. He didn't have to fight alone.

That, and it was part of his atonement. It was a piece of his apology to Deku, to show him that he valued him, and he was willing to put his life on the line for someone, for him.

Bakugou didn't think when he rushed out to save Deku. It was instinctual, like breathing. He saw someone he cared about in danger, and his body moved on it's own. That, from the angry brat we get in chapter 1, is a beautiful showcase of perfect character development and growth. If you take into account everything I've discussed throughout this, it should be easy to realize or at least see a bit of Bakugou's perspective, and his thought process when dealing with Deku.

It never justifies any of his past behavior, but it gives us clarification, and then allows us to appreciate his thoughts and actions in 284 and 285 even more.

#bnha spoilers #bnha meta #bnha #mha #bkdk #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #kacchan #deku #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #bnha analysis #bnha manga #mha manga

[i-make-fun-of-spn-characters]

I feel like you've given most spn related things some lil spice but I always love the spice on this : hot spicy take on the "Dean is the most horrible character and ruins everyone's life and Sam and Cas are poor little meow meows who only do bad things sometimes because tyran Dean farted in their direction" takes that are not really only said by anti-Dean peeps ? Obsessed with that incredible thesis and would love the added spice ❤

SPICY HOT HOT GHOST PEPPERS CAROLINA REAPERS HELP I'M BURNING

I really try to respect other people’s opinions, and I believe there are a wealth of ways to interpret a story, and I think that’s a deeply beautiful thing. This applies to interpretations I don't agree with and outright dislike as well. That said, some opinions are simply and objectively bad, dishonest, and/or demonstrably false, and I truly do not believe you can sit down and honestly watch through the show with an open mind about all the characters, truly pay attention to what they do, say, and believe, and come to the conclusion that this show is about an evil manipulative abusive man terrorizing his pure and sinless brother and friend. It is an interpretation built from cherry picking facts to suit an ugly, miserable theory, making Mount Everest out of a bunch of the tiny mole hills, making the worst possible presumptions of feelings and intentions, and holding characters to completely different standards in order to neatly divide them into "abused" and "abuser" in a way that, frankly, fetishizes the abused person. I despise this interpretation of the story with every fiber of my being, and I have absolutely no respect for the opinion of anyone who peddles it, regardless of who they cast as villain/victim (because people have also done this with the others—it’s just more “popular” to do it with Dean... I mean... does anyone else remember how people were shitting on Sam after his emotional reaction in 14.12? Calling him an evil abuser? Because I do).

The thing that always gets me about this take isn't just how dishonest, unfair, mean-spirited, and compassionless it is in its treatment of Dean’s feelings, circumstances, and intentions... but how deeply reductive and offensive it is toward Sam and Castiel, sucking away their identities to turn them into effigies to mourn for their sad, Stockholm syndrome-esque attachment to their "abuser". Further, it grips the heart of the show—the relationship between Sam and Dean, and then the relationship among TFW as a whole—in a tight, uncompromising fist and pulverizes it. It literally rips out the heart of the show (the RELATIONSHIPS) and replaces it with something unprepossessing of any merit: A miserable, 15 years long story about a malicious abuser getting away with terrorizing those closest to him for his entire life, while his poor abuse victims suffer through until they die for him/happy to be reunited with him because they “don’t know any better” and never ever learned better, I guess. What a stupid, sad sack of a story.

Castiel is a thousands of years old celestial being who has literally beaten Dean into the pavement under no form of mind control, and has shown over and over again that he will do whatever the hell he wants, regardless of whatever Dean thinks about being sidelined. If he thinks whatever he is doing is in Dean's best interest, he literally does not care how Dean feels about it. He will nod and smile and then fly off and swallow thousands of souls with Dean begging him not to, shove Dean out of the way to attack the big bad, leave Dean alone in Purgatory, refuse to come out of Purgatory so he can self-flagellate, fly off with the angel tablet, help Sam with the Book of the Damned, let Lucifer possess him without anyone's knowledge or agreement, come into Dean's room under the guise of apologizing for ghosting him so that he can steal The Colt out from under his pillow and murder someone, decide not to murder that person and still prevent Sam and Dean from helping by knocking them both unconscious, get himself killed, make a deal to trade his life for Jack's and never tell anyone, hide information and worries and ignore phone calls, ghost Sam and Dean, and bicker and fight with Dean as if they are a married couple. Love sickness and feelings of worthlessness (which Cas has a wealth of reasons to feel—many of which aren’t even related to Dean but to his heavenly family) are reinterpreted as the result of some sort of constant, terrorizing emotional abuse. Power and authority that Dean does not actually have is forced into his hands by these fans. Maybe listen when Cas says, “Hey—not everything is your fault.” Maybe listen when he says “I loved the whole world because of you”, calls Dean a role model, says he enjoys their conversations, offers to die with him and dies for him multiple times. Maybe treat these feelings as genuine and valid and HIS and not as the delusions of some poor manipulated baby. 

Sam is framed this way even more often than Cas, and it's a damn shame, because what I typically see is this: Sam’s development into a mediator and peacemaker is twisted and reinterpreted as coming from a place of weakness and/or fear. Rationality, maturity, wisdom, and compassion are not the traits of a scared, powerless child. They are the traits of a mature adult, who has been beaten down by life, and fought and raged against his circumstances, and somehow come out of it with more kindness and understanding and strength instead of less. He has made his own decisions whenever it was possible, within the set of circumstances doled out to him. From telling his dad to go fuck himself and going to college, to getting back into hunting to avenge Jess (NOT because of Dean—Dean took him home without complaint at the end of the woman in white case), to continuing to hunt after their father died because he wanted to feel close to him (Dean was actually weirded out and sort of disgusted by this), raging and fighting to save Dean from his deal against Dean’s wishes, continuing to hunt and working with Ruby (directly against Dean’s dying wish), drinking demon blood, jumping in the cage, leaving hunting to go be with Amelia, coming back to hunting to save Kevin, fighting with Dean over what he had with Amelia and threatening to leave if Dean didn't shut his mouth, leaving Amelia to go back to hunting (Dean ultimately suggests he go back to her—Sam chooses to stay), trying to kill Benny, demanding to be the one to do The Trials and saying he is going to SURVIVE them—that being the ENTIRE POINT, losing that resolve in a fit of depression but choosing to drop the knife, demanding space from Dean (and being given it), fighting to save Demon Dean who didn’t want to be found or saved, using the Book of the Damned against Dean’s wishes, telling Charlie that this is what he wants—that he used to want normal but now all he wants is to hunt with Dean and that he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he can’t have that, unleashing the Darkness in his desperation to keep Dean with him and even saying, “I would do it again” in the aftermath, saving the town being destroyed by Amara, getting into The Cage with Lucifer, leading a team against the British Men of Letters, nurturing Jack, punching Dean in the face when he was going to sacrifice himself, leading more hunters, wielding a gun against Chuck... and that’s just some highlights. Sam Fucking Winchester does not need your bullshit about him being some sad, scared, helpless baby lorded over by mean old Dean who has never let him do anything he wants. 

Yes, in the text itself, there is jealousy and resentment at times, and there is legitimate and righteous anger on Sam’s part on a few occasions. There is blame cast on Dean by Sam for some of these choices/circumstances. Some of those moments where Dean is blamed are legitimate, and some of them... frankly, are not. Within the framework of the fucked up dynamics of the way they were raised, Sam and some fans bristle when they feel Dean is casting himself as the parent he is not, but Sam also has been guilty in the past of trying to reframe himself as Dean’s child when things got tough. Neither of them is responsible for the origin of that dynamic, but they BOTH have responsibility to change it, and they both, ultimately, succeed in doing so. For Sam, his part comes in recognizing and learning to fully own his own choices. Recognizing that he is not a child, and he is certainly not Dean’s child, and it isn’t just “Mummy—loosen the grip”, but Sam has to too—not claim independence only to blame Dean for his choices when his own decisions have an ultimate outcome he is unhappy with. That is a legitimate arc that Sam goes through imo, but he comes out the other side of it, and he and Dean relate to each other much better as peers from then on—and I’d like to note that throughout the entire series, when they don’t relate as perfect peers and teammates, it isn’t always Dean “bossing Sam around”, but Sam also trying to sideline Dean and yes—boss him around. And when they lied and hurt each other and yes, even manipulated each other, Dean most certainly wasn't always the one doing the lying and hurting and manipulating. Always, always, ALWAYS, they both had an understandable point of view, and it was complex, and you could understand why they made the choices they did, even if you thought of those choices as being wrong ones. 

I also would like to point out (because this is basically what I see all of the time) that Dean being hurt by someone or simply voicing his feelings or opinion is in no way abusive or manipulative. Dean is certainly charismatic and loved and his returning love and respect is often deeply desired, but he is not an actual siren, who bends people to his will simply by speaking or being. People are, in fact, able to tell him “no”, and frequently FREQUENTLY do. Further more, no one is owed his affection, his unwavering loyalty, or his trust. He has a right to his boundaries, regardless of if it makes some poor sad sap feel deprived of the “wellspring of coveted love” while he works through things. He can be hurt and angry, and he can wear his heart on his sleeve at times, and he can be flawed, and broken. [Insert Castiel's speech from 15.18 here]. So can Sam. So can Cas. None of them are manipulating each other by virtue of getting angry, feeling hurt, being traumatized, needing space, or having differing opinions or feelings. Sam didn’t punch Dean in the face in 14.12 because he's a cruel, manipulative abuser trying to force Dean under his thumb. He didn’t work behind Dean’s back with Ruby, insist on doing The Trials, beg Dean to use Doc Benton’s alchemy, use the Book of the Damned to cure Dean, pump him full of blood to cure him of being a demon despite the fact that it might kill him, or scream at him and fight him for wanting to get in the Ma’lak box because he “doesn’t respect his autonomy” and “wants to control him” and “doesn’t respect his right to his own body”. He did it because he loves him desperately, and Dean could stand to fucking hate himself less, and he fiercely wanted Dean to live even when Dean didn’t want to or couldn’t picture what that could be like. He didn’t force Dean to do anything simply by opening his mouth to voice disagreement and swaying Dean when he did so. Now reverse that. 

Cas didn't beat Dean into the ground in season 5 because he wanted to terrorize him into never going against Castiel ever again. He didn’t go behind his back dozens of times, sideline him, go MIA, all because he wanted to manipulate and control Dean and punish him. He didn’t throw sassy remarks at him to shatter his self-esteem. Now reverse that. 

*Breathes*

Anyway, fuck "X is abusive” interpretations. 

#being serious for 5 seconds #RANTING RANTING RANTING #spicy spicy ghost pepper extract #mail

[barnesbabee]

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ꜱᴇᴠᴇɴ - ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀʟᴀɴᴅ

WONDERLAND MASTERLIST ⇜ ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ - ꜱᴇᴠᴇɴ-  ɴᴇxᴛ ⟿

CHARACTER LIST: White Rabbit - Choi Jongho Absolem (Blue Catterpilar) - Kang Yeosang Cheshire Cat - Kim Hongjoong Mad Hatter - Choi San Haigha (March Hare) - Jung Wooyoung Tweedle Dee - Song Mingi Tweedle Dum - Jeong Yunho Bloody Red King - Park Seonghwa

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: @myunvillage @mirror-juliet @jess-1404 @earth-to-leiki [Send me a DM, an ask or comment to be added to the tag list]

"Teach you what?"

"How to be a better man, how to have mercy, and compassion."

Unbeknownst to you, a little purple and pink cat watched every step you took. Of course, it wasn't because he cared. Cheshire (unlike many other Wonderland villagers) genuinely wasn't affected by your presence, or lack there of, but the Hatter had asked him, in exchange of a hefty reward, of course, to keep an eye on his beloved Y/N.

While watching over you Cheshire just did a whole bunch of growling and nose scrunching. He hated the sight of the King, and even worse, was the sight of such a man in love.

"Such a shame to be the bearer of bad news dear friend," Cheshire said, not at bothered by the fact that he had bad news to tell "but it seems as if Y/N will be our new Queen."

The cat twirled a strand of his coloured hair around his index finger, as he fell down onto one of the many chairs along with the Hatter's never-ending table.

The Hatter's eyes widened and so did his toothy smile.

"She's carrying on with the plan! She will decapitate him herself and become our Queen! Oh but I'm so happy I could dance the Futterwacken again!"

He clapped feverously and suggested a toast, clearly missing the meaning of Cheshire's words.

"I'm afraid you missed what I meant, Hatter. She will be our Queen, because she will be marrying the King."

The atmosphere suddenly became silent, eerie even. The Hatter's green, sparkly eyes transformed into an ugly, rage-filled, yellow. The man gripped the teacup on his hand so hard it broke, but the rage, disappointment, and growing heartbreak fogged his brain to the point where he didn't even notice the pain, nor the blood trickling down his palm.

The Hatter was rarely angry, but when he was, it was enough to scare poor Cheshire, who didn't hesitate in disappearing into thin air. Or he tried to. Before every bit of his body could be gone, the Hatter grabbed Cheshire's hair, making the cat groan in pain, and threw him on the ground.

"What has he done to her!? Was it a curse!?"

Cheshire caressed his head and stood up to look at the Hatter.

"It wasn't a curse Hatter, she fell in love. After you deceived her and the King showed her nothing but truth and love, the choice was pretty evident."

The reasonable explanation seemed to calm down the Hatter, whose eyes morphed back into their greenish colour. However the dread and panic in his face were still evident. Cheshire, still quite upset at Hatter's tantrum, could see on his friend's face an expression of someone about to spew a terrible, terrible idea.

"We must get her away from the Palace. It's gotten into her head. Let's get her back to us!"

The man-like cat floated back to his usual place in the air, twirling in the process. He chuckled audibly, showing his sharp canines in the process.

"Hmm yes, let's steal her away from the man she's come to love, so she could be with us, the people who lied to her for our own benefit. Sounds like a party if you ask me..."

"A party!?" Haigha exclaimed, his left eye twitching as he smiled widely at the mention of his favourite hobbie.

"That's where the King's behaviour comes in our favour," the Hatter said, patting Haigha's head so he'd sit back down "once he sees her take her beloved Queen away, he will show his true colours, Remember how scared and freaked out she was last time we saw her? She said he seemed really sweet while talking to her until he eventually snapped. Once he snaps, he will freak out and bring out the tyrant's behaviour and scare her away."

It was hard for Cheshire to admit, but his mad friend's plan wasn't so mad after all. It was possible to accomplish what the Hatter suggested, and there was nothing to lose, you already hated them anyway.

The Hatter slapped his thighs and stood up, fixing his big top hat in the process.

"Shall we go?"

Haigha was already standing up from his seat when Cheshire stopped them.

"Perhaps we should discuss the plan further... Something tells me we might need some help from Absolem and Bayard..."

Sneaking you out past the Card Knights would take a lot of help, and Cheshire had already worked out in his head the escape plan. It would take a little pressure on Absolem, as he managed to care even less about the people around him than Cheshire did, but the cat was sure he could get a shrinking cake out of the blue catterpillar. After shrinking you and hatter down to the size of a strawberry, Bayard (the loyal dog friend of Hatter's, that Cheshire tried his best to keep a distance of) would bring you to the White Rabbit's house, as it would be too obvious to come back to the Hatter's cabin.

The cat had no intention to help you, but he did like to see some drama and commotion in Wonderland once in a while, and this was his chance.

Whilst all of the furious planning went on on the greenlands of Wonderland, in the Palace you and the King sat opposite of each other on his bed, gossiping like two high schoolers.

"And then my best friend at the time, Anna, slept with my boyfriend and said it was 'because of a dare'. I forgave her because we had been friends for so long but then she told my crush that I smelled so I stopped being her friend."

The King nodded along and listened attentively (trying his best to cross his legs just like you, but failing miserably) to your story.

"Hm yes, yes, I understand. My best friend ate one of my tarts so I cut off his head."

You couldn't help but scoff at the way he compared the situations, although you reprehended him right after for the heartless act.

He had asked to know of your previous life, how it was back in your world, and so you sat there reminiscing your past for hours on end. Most people in Wonderland came from other places, but Seonghwa had never been elsewhere, as he was born in the Kingdom.

"So this establishment you call 'school', was it like a club you went to where you reunited with your peers?"

"No, no. School was a mandatory thing for all kids, we went there and a bunch of teachers taught us about different things."

"Hm, but all you've told me so far were anecdotes about these friends of yours, what were these classes like?"

You blushed slightly, realizing that in fact, you didn't remember shit from school, aside from past dramas.

"Well, they told us many things about earth, about what makes the world move, about how society works, and what makes things work. We learned about gravity, about numbers, about stars-"

"Stars!?"

The King's eyes lit up as if he was a child whom you had promised ice cream to.

"Yes, stars. Why?"

Seonghwa stood up from the bed in such a violent manner, he nearly fell. The man ran over to his closet, from where he retrieved an old book. The hard cover was beginning to tear, and the once white pages had become a weird mix of brown and yellow, but you took it in your hands nevertheless.

"This book once fell into the Wonderland when I was a child. I was alone most of the time, so it kept me company. I can tell from the images it talks about the stars, and I think I learned a lot from it since I stared at them a lot, but I cannot comprehend the alien language."

The King leaned against the headboard, and you laid beside him, placing your head on his chest, so you could hear his now nervous heart beating fast from the contact. Out of instinct, the King placed his arm around you and pulled you closer, as you opened the book.

You chuckled slightly, after seeing the author of the book and opening its pages.

"Seonghwa this isn't an alien language, it's Italian. Well, I guess it's an alien language to you, but it was funny that you said it that way... The person who wrote it was very influential back where I'm from, he taught the people of Earth many things about our space."

The male listened carefully as you tried your best to explain the things in the book as best as you could.

"This here is what we call the Solar System. It has nine planets, but only one of them has people, this one, where I live." You told him, pointing towards Earth.

Seonghwa noticed how your posture changed, after you remembered once more that you would never return home again, and panicked for a second. He disliked many things, but your tears had definitely gone up to his number 1 on the list.

"How about I ask for a picnic to be arranged in the garden, and at night we can watch the stars."

You turned to face him and smiled as you nodded. Seonghwa's thumb caressed your arm, and you couldn't help but to place a soft kiss on his lips, as a 'thank you'. No matter how many times you did that, the King never seemed to get used to it. He would always feel butterflies in his stomach and fireworks exploding on his chest. Sometimes you felt perverted, thinking of how he'd react if one day you decided to take it... further. You imagined how pretty he'd look... But you decided to take your time. Baby steps...

The King couldn't wait for dinner time, and you could tell from the number of times he had gone up to the window and pushed away the blinds to see if the sun was finally setting.

As he was staring out the window, you came behind him and wrapped your arms around his figure.

"Can I tell you a secret?"

Seonghwa looked around, to make sure no one was nearby eavesdropping. He wouldn't want your secret to being known.

You tiptoed so your lips could be leveled with his ear.

"You're adorable."

Once you got back down and looked into his gleeful eyes, you smiled.

"Let's keep this secret between us!" He joked along.

"Yes, I wouldn't want the other ladies to know and steal you away."

Seonghwa held your face and lovingly placed a kiss on your forehead.

"The other ladies don't stand a chance next to you princess."

Your cheeks heated up and you slapped his chest out of embarrassment. The King's face grew worried and confused.

"Why did you hit me? Have I done something wrong? It was meant to be a compliment I'm sorry I compared you to-"

You grabbed his face and squished his cheeks, making him form an adorable pout with his red lips.

"Seonghwa, it was a good thing. I slapped your chest because I was embarrassed, I was really touched by your compliment."

Once you let go of his face, the King tapped his chin with his index finger, in a pensive manner.

"I have much to learn about our future interactions, I do not understand many things."

You just chuckled and took his hand in yours.

"We have many years ahead of us, you will learn someday."

The small acknowledgment of your future made Seonghwa very happy. Never in his pitiful life had he even thought of being this happy over small actions... Last week the only thing that brought him joy was the sound of a traitor's head hitting the concrete floors of the palace's main area, but since you arrived, a smile was all it took for his cold heart to start beating again.

It didn't take long before one of the frogmen knocked on the door to inform the picnic was ready. Seonghwa didn't let go of your hand as you walked outside, to sit among the red roses.

You had finally come to terms with Wonderland's weird food. You had no choice really...

"Have you never been attracted to anyone, Seonghwa?" You asked as you munched down on a sandwich of... whatever it was.

Seonghwa's expression faded a little.

"Once. I had just become King and I thought that the next step would, logically, be the find a Queen. Every woman displeased me. All but one. She was beautiful, hair as dark as the night sky, tanned skin from the sun, and a beautiful mole under the eye. But she was cold, evil... I thought that it was a perfect match. After all, I wasn't the most caring person. But she would treat me like a servant. Our relationship was purely to serve a purpose to the Kingdom, nothing else. We slept in separate rooms and spent the day apart. We only dined together, but since I saw the same behavior from my parents I thought that that was love. Our wedding had been scheduled long before she moved into the castle, we were simply waiting for the preparations to be finished. Everything was custom made, from the clothes to the flowers on every table. The day before the wedding I walked to her bedroom and found her laying with a servant of mine. You know, back when they weren't... Frogs. I had them both decapitated, of course. And I swore off love forever. That is until you came along."

You flashed him a sad smile and set down your food. He looked awfully confused as you climbed onto his lap, but he didn't protest.

You brushed his dark hair away from his eyes. Both of them. He suddenly felt very exposed and insecure, but you kissed his cheek, reassuringly.

"Ever since I came down here you've shown me nothing but love, and honesty. You didn't try to sugarcoat who you are, or what you've done, and I appreciate your honesty. My place in Wonderland is with you."

The male smiled, and kissed you, a little more passionately than all of the previous times. The male's hands trailed down your ass, and pulled you on top of his growing erection.

"For someone who has never been with anyone you're quite good at this."

"Well I... I lied. I had a fiancé after all, and we laid together but we didn't get far. There was no kissing involved, she just wanted to get it over with since I was the one who suggested we should... do it. But she made fun of me for not being good at it and I became... insecure. I was insecure and for the longest time I've wanted to try it with you, because you give me those special butterflies but I was afraid I'd disappoint you."

"What a cold, heartless bitch!" You thought to yourself. No wonder he was so bad at human interactions, every relationship he had was a trainwreck!

You grabbed his face and placed a long kiss on his lips.

"Well then, let me lead at first. If you start feeling more confident, you can take the lead, if not, I'll stay in control, okay?"

The King simply nodded and kissed you once more. This time deeper than he had ever kissed anyone. Tongues fighting so intensely the King nearly missed the way your hand expediently undid his trousers. Your hand slipped inside his boxers and took out his length. You looked down at the dick in your hand and widened your eye.

"Well aren't I a lucky girl."

You spat in your hand and kissed him again, as your hand worked up and down his shaft. The King was surprisingly very vocal, and he didn't try to hide or suppress any of his pretty moans (and for that you were thankful.

You stopped your hand, right as he was getting riled up.

"Ready for something better?"

The King watched you strip from your panties, and he cursed the frilly dress that covered your womanhood, but as soon as you sunk down on his cock, all of his worries and anguishes washed away. It was automatic, the way he gripped your hips and made you bounce on him as he snapped your hips against yours was something he did naturally as if he truly knew what he was doing. You brought out something different in him, and the King was simply doing was his body was telling him to do.

You gripped his shoulders, overwhelmed with the feeling of having him inside you.

"S-shit Seonghwa, you're good, r-really fucking good."

"Oh yeah?"

He flipped you two around, so he could pound into you with all the strength he had. Your words of encouragement were all he needed.

Your consistent (and loud) moans got him on the edge quickly, and he knew he wouldn't last long.

"Y/N forgive me, but I don't think I can last much longer."

Your hand reached down and began circling your clit, so when he came inside you, filling you up with his cum, you came right after, with a loud cry for his name.

Seonghwa laid on top of you, his face nuzzled on the crook of your neck, trying to regain his breath. You ran your hand through his hair as you did the same, looking up at the sky.

"The stars sure look beautiful today."

#ateez #ateez fic #ateez reader insert #ateez fanfiction #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop reader insert #kpop fanficiton #soenghwa #park seonghwa #seonghwa fanfic #soenghwa smut #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa reader insert #san #choi san #san smut #choi san smmut #choi san smut #ateez wonderland #ateez alice in wonderland #mingi #mingi fluff #mingi smut

[lfcology]

swatches | sirius black

summary: you had loved sirius black for longer than you could remember. through two wizarding wars and a harsh time in azkaban: you were head over heels. what happens when he misunderstood your relationship? everyone lives au lowkey as it should be! 

pairing: Fem!Reader x Sirius (post books so they’re slightly older)

word count: 1.6k

warnings: misunderstandings, mention of pregnancy/getting pregnant

*

Two wars. You had survived two wars against the most powerful dark wizard ever and had no inclination to tell your longtime friend you loved him. You'd been head over heels for Sirius Black for the better part of two decades yet opted to keep your feelings to yourself – stating something about the timing not being right. But if not during a war – nay, two wars – when would the time be right? You'd been with other people, trying to get over the raven-haired beauty yet no one ever made you feel anything close to what you did with him.

He'd served years in Azkaban, convicted of some of the most heinous crimes against muggles and the reason behind his best friends death, but you knew he was innocent. Sirius Black was a lot of things but a traitor was not one of them. Now, years later, he was finally free – an innocent man to the world. Once the dark lord was defeated again, and things started to calm down, 12 Grimmauld Place wasn't needed for the order anymore so you insisted on helping Sirius clean it up.

Though you couldn't wash away the painful memories of his childhood, it didn't mean you couldn't try. Harry was old enough to live on his own now but after years apart he and Sirius wanted to catch up on lost time. The first order of business you planned was putting that horrid painting of Mrs. Black in the basement. It took a lot of spells to detach her from the wall but the relief that came across Sirius' face once she was gone was worth it. The two of you worked together tirelessly to bring brightness into the home for the first time since it was built. The Black family tree tapestry was peeled off and replaced with a fresh coat of white paint and a photo wall.

Photos of James, Lily, Marlene and other friends lost over the years lined the wall and memories flooded your senses. There were moments in time captured that reminded you of easier days. Your times at Hogwarts. Your summers at the Potters. You, Sirius and Remus, admired your handy work on the wall. You three had lost so much but the thankfulness you felt to still have each other was beyond you. Sirius wrapped his arm around you and pressed a kiss to your temple. Remus excused himself to spend time with Teddy, leaving you and your love alone. "Should we start clearing out some of the rooms?" You suggested despite not wanting to leave Sirius' side just yet.

He hummed in confirmation before (rather reluctantly) letting you go. The house had been empty and cold for years so in an attempt to revive it Harry, Remus, Tonks and baby Teddy were due to move in. You two started with the guest room that would become a nursery for Teddy. Magic made cleaning much easier but being around Sirius meant more time joking around than actually being productive.

"This whole bloody house smells like dirty boxes." He said with a huff and a wave of his hand to open the window.

The two of you sat for longer than you'd like to admit trying to put a crib together the muggle way. Soon you gave up and used magic, much to Sirius' dismay who insisted "it'll just be 5 more minutes". With a wave of your wand, the walls were coloured a soft sage green compared to the drab mud brown it was before. Things were finally coming together.

"Do you wonder what it's like?" Sirius asked as he set a few toys out onto the shelves.

"What what's like?" You asked from your spot at the bookshelf.

"Being a parent." He clarified.

You shrugged and put down your copy of ABCs with Merlin. "I suppose... I kind of assume I won't have kids. I'm too old now."

"Nonsense!" He replied quickly.

You raised your brows and crossed your arms. "I know you're about to mention something about Moony but shall I remind you he didn't carry the child?" You countered.

"You make it sound like you're ancient." He scoffed. "Don't rule it out, darling."

You let out a laugh and returned to your task of sorting the shelves. "It takes two to have a baby and I don't exactly have a lineup of people wanting to impregnate me.”

"I sure hope not." He said incredulously. "Now, what colour should the walls in the master room be?"

You furrowed your brows. What on earth did he mean by I sure hope not? Instead of letting yourself dwell on it later, you decided to outright ask him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He looked perplexed. "What? The colour of the master room?"

"No, no... that you sure hope there isn't people lined up for me?" You said crossing your arms a tad defensively.

Sirius, to put things simply, had a habit of being rude sometimes without realizing it. So, you were expecting a backhanded comment about your looks or a joke about how long you've been single. "Well, wouldn't exactly be the best for my odds." He said with a chuckle. "Now, the room colour." He repeated holding the swatches up.

"To hell with the swatches Sirius! What are you talking about!" You all but yelled at him. Was this a joke? Did he find out you were in love with him and decided to subtly tease you about it? How had he even figured it out? You felt yourself going into overdrive. You were going to kill Moony. He had to be the one to tell him after all!

"The swatch is for your room too so it does matter," Sirius said bewildered.

"What?"

"What?" He repeated making you huff. He could be so frustrating sometimes.

"What do you mean my room?"

"Well, it's gonna be our room." He clarified.

You were surprised if that's what you could call it. Sirius thought you were moving in? And sharing a room with him? What on earth was happening? "Sirius, I'm not living here? I thought it was just you, Harry and Moonys family?"

"What? Why? It's meant to be a family home!" He protested with a pout that reminded you of the ones he wore as a student not getting his way with Professor McGonagall.

"We don't have room for me if Teddy has his own room. He'll need one as he grows up." You explained.

"That makes no sense! We would share a room."

"Why the hell would we share a room? We're adults we can't just be dormmates like we're kids." You said and he gave you a disgruntled look. “We've been sharing beds for 20 years why does it matter now?" He rebutted and crossed his arms.

"Don't you want privacy?" You asked.

"For what? We're dating so I don't see why you're being so weird about this."

Now that shocked you.

"DATING?" You shouted and he chuckled softly as he took a step towards you. "Since bloody when?"

"Well, we've had a weird relationship for 20 years I just assumed? Two wars change people." He said and you gaped at him.

"Bloody hell Sirius." You said rubbing your temples. This was not how you expected to find out your feelings were returned. Was this his loneliness speaking? His trauma?

"I'm sorry if I overstepped in thinking that..." He said rubbing the back of his neck and losing his confidence. He became sheepish under your scrutiny. Maybe it wasn't so outlandish of him to assume that. You two did kiss and cuddle a fair bit more than the average friends. But Sirius had always been fond of physical affection with his friends and you chalked it up to that. You honestly never expected him to feel the same way you did.

"I-" You began before swallowing down in an attempt to collect your thoughts. "-You weren't wrong. I just never really thought you'd feel that way about me."

He scoffed. "I've felt that way since we were in 5th year!"

"That makes no bloody sense! You hooked up with half the damn school but didn't look at me." You scoffed back.

"Because I was trying to hide my feelings like a dumb teenage boy! It killed me seeing you all over Peter so I deflected the only way I knew how." He countered. You rolled your eyes. You and Peter had gone out twice before realizing you were better off as friends.

"You don't get to do this Sirius. You can't just say you've liked me for more than 20 damn years and not made a move." You said pointing your finger at him accusingly.

"Need I remind you I was in prison for half of it. And I just asked what colour you want our room to be." He replied with a huff.

You were silent. He wasn't wrong after all but in your overflow of emotions, you chose to place all the blame on him. "I..." You looked down. "I'm sorry. I just always thought I wasn't your type."

He took a step closer and gently held your shoulders. "It's my fault for not letting you know how utterly in love with you I am."

Hearing those words come out of his mouth shot electricity through your body. It was a euphoric feeling you could definitely get used to feeling all the time. You looked up at him and cupped his cheek softly. For the first time, you realized the way you looked at him was the same way he looked at you: with utter love and devotion. You were so worried about not letting your feelings for him spill that you didn't realize you'd been dating the man of your dreams this whole time. The man you'd longed for but thought was unattainable.

"I love you too..." You said through happy tears. "I have for so long."

"Now darling, what colour for our bedroom?" He said with a perfect smirk and a kiss to your temple.

It took two wars but you and Sirius were creating the silly little family you always dreamed of.

*

taglist: @writing-wh0re​

#sirius black x reader #sirius black #sirius black one shot #marauders #marauders x reader

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Unexpected Places (Pt. 11 of 11)

Pairing: Ivar the Boneless X Reader/Bjorn X Reader

Word count: 2 K

Summary: As a princess, you've lived in a golden cage all your life, always a piece on someone else's game. But everything changed when the Norsemen came crushing down on Wessex, like waves in a violent storm. Their king spared your life and decided to take you with him to his kingdom, in what felt more like a rescue than a kidnapping. There, you were not only confronted with a completely different culture and lifestyle, but also with two of his sons. The oldest one has his eyes set on you, but it's the youngest one, Ivar, who gets who claimed your attention since the first sight. And he seems to have an unnamed interest in you. Of course you hoped whatever that was would pass, but when unexpected feelings start to flow a different way, things begin to change.

<- Previous part (10)

{Vikings Masterlist}

×

Home

Walking slow, you keep up the pace of a heavily pregnant Aslaug. The news of the child on its way came on the last day of the feast for your wedding and it was well-received by everyone. The snow falling gives Kattegat an amazing look, with everything painted white. The ocean is starting to freeze, but there are still boats coming and going, doing the last trades by sea before the ice keeps them away, having to endure the walk instead of sailing here.

Heading to the main hall, you stop when Aslaug stops, a hand on her swollen belly. “Everything alright?”

“Yes. I just need to lie down for a while.” She answers, setting in motion again. “Ragnar sons are always–” She's cut short once you enter the hall, the high number of people gathered around getting both your attentions. “Did something happen?” She asks, raising her voice. Ragnar comes to stand beside her, very protective ever since he found about the pregnancy.

You make your way to where Ivar is, seated on Ragnar's throne. “What's going on?” You ask him. “Bad news?”

“Boats were seen sailing this way.” He answers, gesturing, and dismissing the men. “With your brother's flag.”

“What the hell does Aethelwulf want?” Shrugging your shoulders, you stand beside Ivar, who takes your hand and places a kiss on it.

“Ask father.” He says, clearly annoyed.

Raising an eyebrow, you look at Ragnar. “Last raid I might have left implied that you were here on Kattegat, so... I think they came to take you back.”

“Why would you do that?” You inquire, hands on your hips.

“They were really pissing me off.” Ragnar justifies, and you roll your eyes.

“Are they coming for war?”

“No,” Bjorn says, entering the hall and dusting off his clothes from the snow. “I don't think they're planning on battle us, on our ground, with such few people.”

“Good. It means I can just tell them I don't wanna go and they'll leave.” Sighing, you look at Ivar. “And here I was planning on asking you to take me on the next raid.” You complain to Ivar, shooting Ragnar an angry glance. “England came to me.”

“Missing home?”

“Are you seriously asking me if I want to sail for weeks, stay on a camp in the woods for the entire summer for any other reason than to staying with you?” Faking an annoyed tone, you raise an eyebrow at Ivar.

Giggling, he bites his lip, nodding his head. “My mistake, princess.” Winking, he turns his attention back to his father. “Let's do what we have to do and get this tiny problem out of our lives so I can enjoy winter with my wife.”

“Speaking of enjoying the winter, I'll fix myself a warm bath and I hope you to join me.” With that, you turn around and head inside, ignoring the low chattering your words caused.

The word got out, you think, about Ivar being able to perform sexually. But since you were the first one to know, you don't mind the gossip.

The girls don't take much time to get everything ready, and you let them help you undress before you step into the tub. You always use Ivar's tub now, since you just moved into his bedroom after the wedding. As if you weren't sleeping here before. A few moments later you hear Ivar coming inside, taking off his clothes before joining you, making the hot water spill off when he moves inside, settling down next to you.

“You're so beautiful.” He whispers, immediately pulling you into a kiss, and you can't help but smile as you cave in, running a hand through his chest.

“Thank you, handsome.” You mutter when you pull away to breathe, biting your lip.

“Won't you even consider it?” You don't follow, so you pinch your eyebrows together, looking at your husband.

“Consider what?”

“Going back home.” There's fear in his voice, and that's a sentiment he only shows to you.

Ever since the announcement, Ivar has been listening to some rude things. People are mean, some of them at least. They say you'll leave him, trade him for a full man. That you'll get tired of him soon enough. You've been into awful arguments with some people about it, and Ivar have nearly killed a man a few weeks ago. With time, these comments are fading away, but it always gets to him. And when it happens, it's your mission to reassure him your love hasn't changed, it has only gotten bigger.

“I am home.” Caressing his cheek, you smile. “This is where I belong.” Your voice fades when you remember you have something to tell Ivar. It's been a while since you've been feeling odd, and your period is very late. “Actually, I need to talk to you about something.”

He furrows his eyebrows, a question on his face. “What is it?”

You know he wants kids, you've always knew. And you've been waiting until you're sure. And you're kinda sure at this point. “Ivar, I... I may be with child.” Speaking low, barely a whisper, you focus on his expression, trying to read it.

But you don't need too much. Ivar's lips break into a smile, and he kisses you deeply, until you're out of breath. “I'll be a father.” He says when you pull away.

“Yes, you will. And if it depends on me, you'll have a bunch of children, my love.” You can't wait to tell everyone, to let them know Ivar can do what they all doubted.

“I love you, (Y/N). More than everything.”

“We need to talk names now.” Giggling, you caress his face. “Everyone will have a suggestion.”

“We'll have to do it later.”

“Later? Why? Are you planning on doing anything now?” Smirking, you don't need any other answer than the kiss he gives you, and suddenly all the rest is put aside for a moment.

°°°

Hours later, when the sun is about to set, you're at the docks, watching as the two boats approach. A great number of people came too, of course, to see how it'll play out. There are soldiers, ready to fight if that's the case, but if it depends on you, it won't come to that. It doesn't look like they're here for war.

It gets your attention when one of the men, standing on the edge of the ship, recognizes you. He raises his eyebrows, but you don't show any expression. Slowly, he and a few men step out of the boat, eyes scanning through the Vikings, ready to defend themselves and their leader. That's when you recognize the man, Sir Wilfred, one of your father's man, now working for your older brother. He was kind to you, so you don't have your walls all the way up.

“Princess (Y/N).” He greets you with a small smile, taking your hand and placing a kiss on it. “It's a true blessing to find you alive and... Well.”

“It's good to see you too, Sir. Hope you made a safe trip here. But may I ask why did you and such a small army bothered to sail all the way to Kattegat?” Cutting straight to the point, you offer him a small smile. Ivar, who stands beside you, gets a worried stare from Wilfred, and you can feel his anger emanating.

“King Aethelwulf, your brother, sent us. After Ragnar Lothbrok told him you were here, brought by your own will, he decided to give you a chance to reconquer your old life, as a princess, by his side.” There's more than he's saying because you know your brother. It doesn't sound like something he would say. Aethelwulf wants you back because he can't even begin to imagine who would want to stay here. And he's ego demands him to try and get you back, so he can present you to his court, telling them how you came back to your senses and abandoned the barbarians.

“Tell my brother I have no intention of leaving Kattegat.” You begin, getting a weird expression from Wilfred, and some of his men start gossiping with each other. “I made myself a home here, among the Vikings. I even married one.” Gesturing at Ivar, you have to bite back the laugh that threatens to emerge at the surprise on Wilfred's face. “This is Ivar the Boneless, my husband and the father of the child I'm carrying. And I believe you know him very well Sir.”

“My princess, I don't understand–”

“I'm thankful for this... Rescue party you brought with you across the ocean, but I don't need to be rescued.” Cutting him off, you step back a little, gesturing at the people who stand behind you. “This is my place now, my people. My house, my King and Queen, my husband and friends. I'm not being held against my will. In fact, I didn't come against my will.” You raise your voice, so all of his men will listen, so the truth can find a way to your brother's ears. “With the same people you call soulless, barbarians, monsters, I found great happiness, something that I never had back in England. And I apologize if you had to endure such a journey for nothing, but I won't be going with you. And, just in case you were ordered to take me by force, I must advise you not to try it. Because you will lose.”

“My princess, those aren't the orders,” Winfred speaks again, clearly uncomfortable. “King Aethelwulf commands that, if you are indeed here by your own will, and refuses to return home, he will tell your people you died, and never again you'll find refuge in his kingdom.

Laughing a little, you shrug your shoulders. “So be it.” You simply say, looking at Ivar, who has a smile on his lips. “I'm not going anywhere.” You tell most to your husband than to anyone else. “It was good to see you one last time, Sir Wilfred.” But now I must ask you and your men to sail away from Kattegat. Your presence here isn't welcome.”

“I wouldn't stay even if you invited me, Prin... (Y/N).” He quickly corrects himself, and the change of humor makes you giggle.

“I wasn't planning on inviting you, Sir. Have a safe trip back to England.” Nodding at him, you turn around, walking away with Ivar next to you. Everyone steps out of your way, and you notice how some of Ragnar's men take a position to follow the Saxons back to their ship and until they're far enough from the town.

The commotion soon stays behind as you make your way back home, the wind, which gets colder by the day, messing with your hair.

“I love both of you,” Ivar says, out of nowhere, making you stop on your tracks by the main hall's entrance.

“What's that now?” Squinting your eyes, you stare at him, a chuckle caught in your throat.

“You make me happy. Like I never thought I'd be.” He comes closer, a hand on your belly. “This child is the very image of what we feel. And I never thought I'd ever love someone this much. Or that someone would love me even though–”

“Well, I love you. Just the way you are.” Your heart warms up at his smile, genuine and kind. “Now, let's get inside. It's getting cold.” Taking his hand, you pull him inside.

Many things are on the way now. The child, the raids, on which you do want to go every once in a while. The road is long and full of surprises, but you're willing to enjoy every step of the way. You never thought this would be how your life turned out, but as crazy as it is, it's good. It's the proof that love and happiness can be found in the most unexpected places, and you found both those things in a town across the world, with people who live in a completely different culture, in very different ways. But you would do it all over again, and now that you're here, you'll never take things for granted. You'll never trade this for anything else, not even for the throne of Wessex. This is far more valuable than all the crowns of the world.

×

@multific @revolution-starter @crackhead1-800 @youbloodymadgenius @clown-boyyy @kitten0394 @castielsangelx-blog @goldlion07 @midnightmystic @readsalot73 @xvxcarolinexvx @momowhoo @fangfoxy @msrawog @walkingonshunshine @alytavzla @anotherfan07 @heavenly1927 @msrawog @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom

#ivar the boneless imagine #imagine ivar #ivar vikings #ivar the boneless #ivar imagine #imagine ivar the boneless #ivar the boneless fanfiction #ivar the boneless x reader #ivar x reader

[roselen-mylady]

the game | part two

Part One

Steve hated to admit it but he had always been a jealous person. As a child he was jealous of the way so many other kids had dads that tucked them in at night. As a teen he was jealous of how easily Bucky made women swoon. As an adult he was jealous of Stark when he attempted to woo Peggy. And now he was jealous because it seemed everyone but himself was able to easily talk and even kiss Y/n.

Oh how badly he had wanted to.

And he almost did during that game of spin the bottle. Yet he'd lost his nerve. And lost his chance.

Thor's laughter had drawn his full attention toward the pair. Not that his eye had ever left Y/n but now the man before him was blatantly being ignored as Steve's entire focus was on Y/n and Thor. He strained to hear whatever was being said by her but he could hardly pay attention as Thor lifted her into the air and spun her around like a princess.

He could've done that.

His blood nearly boiled as he watched Thor kiss her. It was innocent, he knew that, but he just couldn't help it. He was angry at the world and Thor but mostly himself.

Before Thanos he thought he'd have all the time he needed to work up to confessing his feelings for her while she stayed in Wakanda watching after his best friend. But when she was snapped away he realized he had made a horrible mistake. A mistake he regretted every minute of every day during those long five years.

But now he had a chance to fix it.

Yet he hadn't been able to talk to her since she returned. The friendship they'd had before then was bashful but strong yet during her absence he had distanced himself from the idea of her in order to cope.

When she returned all the emotions he felt came rushing back in waves. And he was still blowing it.

•••

"I'm so tired of watching these two pine after one another." Wanda spoke suddenly, making Bucky turn toward her, dragging his gaze away from the pair.

"What do you mean?" Bucky asked, looking back at them as Wanda came to stand at his side, watching them with him.

"You mean you haven't noticed? Y/n's in love with Steve. Steve's in love with Y/n. It's agonizing to watch, really." She sighed, rather vexed with the entire situation. It was her after all who had watched them through the years. They'd known each other ever since before the accords and all that time they'd had an awkward friendship in which feelings were obvious on both ends yet neither had the courage to act.

She hated to imagine how Y/n's death might've affected him but yet it still hadn't given him the will of the courage to act. It pained her to watch the two fall back into their old ways.

"Y/n loves Steve?" Bucky mumbled, disbelief evident in his features. Wanda nodded, her eyes trailing Y/n as she made her way to Peter, who was standing haphazardly close to Steve.

"More than life itself, though she'll never admit it. I saw it when I had to enter her thoughts years ago during a mission we had in Germany." Wanda explained. She remembered the overwhelming feeling of Y/n's emotions. They crashed into her stronger than any wave could and even after all these years they were just as strong.

"Then why haven't they done anything?" Bucky asked. He looked down at her finding the same lost expression on her face that was more than likely on his.

"I don't know. Y/n told me last week the same thing she told me all those years ago. Things are too complicated and she can't risk losing him if he doesn't feel the same." Wanda quoted Y/n, her annoyance seeping through her words.

Bucky scoffed, recognizing the excuse as something very similar to Steve's and he shook his head, feeling the same defeat Wanda did. "Just like them to be too stupid to be happy." He groaned, looking up at them.

"Yeah. But hopefully when he kisses her one of them will do something." Wanda hoped her statement might encourage their boldness.

"Unless it's a repeat of spin the bottle." Bucky said, dreading the chance that it might happen. Wanda cringed, shaking her head.

"Y/n won't allow it. She takes the game too seriously." She replied, more to convince herself than Bucky. It was true. Y/n would get Steve to kiss her whether it was for the win or her own motives. That is if her nerves didn't take over.

"Let's hope."

•••

"Well, if it isn't Spiderman." Y/n called out, grabbing Peter's attention. He smiled brightly, finally being called by his preferred name and not Spiderboy.

"Ms. Y/n! What-what are you doing here?" Peter's sore attempt at small talk made him wince but thankfully Y/n didn't seem to mind, looking down at his glass.

"Just mingling. Whatcha drinking?" She asked curiously, wondering if Tony had allowed the poor boy a drink while dealing with all the people who no doubt asked him millions of questions regarding his presence and age.

"Sprite. Mr. Stark said he can't allow me to 'drink and swing'." Peter adjusted his glass, using his fingers as quotations before letting out a short giggle at the phrase.

Y/n laughed as well, trying to appear relaxed as she felt a certain pair of eyes on her. Steve was standing just a few feet away with Tony, not within earshot but close enough to send butterflies to her stomach. With each kiss she collected she felt more and more anxious knowing eventually she'd reach Steve. Was she ready for that?

"Well, that simply won't do. It's a party, Peter, and I can't allow you to not drink. When I was your age Tony was slipping me drinks left and right, it's only fair I pass on the tradition." She explained, leaning forward carefully as her hand brushed his.

He blushed, his eyes widening like saucers as she skillfully slipped his glass out of his hand, replacing it with her own. Glancing at Tony as if expecting to be caught, he was relieved to find his father figure blissfully unaware of their treachery.

"Ms. Y/n, I really shouldn't-"

"Don't worry, I'll drive you home if you're that worried. I got you bro." Y/n promised, nudging his arm with a kind smile. "Now tell me you've at least tried champagne. You've been to like three of these parties now." She laughed her smile growing as he joined in.

"Yeah, well, I mean a little bit from my Aunt May's glass." Y/n shook her head, putting her hand on his shoulder, a dramatic look of sorrow on her face.

"My poor boy. I have many things to share with you. Speaking of which, Shuri is asking if you're coming with me to Wakanda next week." Y/n sipped the soda watching as Peter's fingers danced happily against his own glass.

"Really?! I mean, of course! If you want me to. I've never been, what's it like?" Peter rambled, his face lit up in excitement, making Y/n chuckle at how thrilled the boy was.

"You'll see soon enough. I'll come get you next Friday and bring your suit, I'm sure Shuri would love to tinker with it." Y/n advised. Peter nodded wildly, psyched for such a trip.

"Thank you, Ms. Y/n." Peter grinned. Y/n wrapped an arm around his shoulders turning him in the direction of where Tony was standing.

"Peter, Y/n is fine. Trust me, I'm one of the few people in this world who know what it's like to have Tony as a father figure and anyone who can handle that is okay in my book." Y/n laughed, pointing at the man in question.

As if sensing their shit talking, Tony turned around, catching sight of them. A suspicious glare was sent their way but Y/n could hardly notice it as another figure stepped into view, following Tony's gaze.

It was then that they were forced to look at one another head on. Not at a glance or a sneaky peek. They might as well have been standing in front of one another as they both froze.

If Y/n's heart decided to stop in that instant, she wouldn't blame it. The pure intensity of Steve's gaze was enough to make her shudder and she fought her every molecule to stare back. There was a warmth in his eyes, one that sent a flutter of giddiness through her.

A small smile crept onto his face and Y/n gasped, forcing herself to return the gesture and not just gawk at him. She was at a loss for words. It was the first time since Thanos that he had given her any sort of acknowledgement. While it hurt that their friendship had seemed to diminish while she'd been gone, she knew that rekindling it was a two way street. But now he was smiling at her. And she was smiling back.

She hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath until Peter stepped in front of her, his hands resting on her shoulders and his brows furrowed in concern. "Y/n? Are you okay?" His voice was soothing and it helped her recover her loss of breath from her moment with Steve.

"Huh? Uh, yeah. I'm fine. Just...uh, thinking." She mumbled, her eyes drifting back to Steve once more. His smile had faltered slightly, his face beginning to match Peter's concern but with a small curve of her lips, she assured him that his worry was senseless.

"About the game?"

"Hmm?" Y/n questioned, directing her attention to the boy once more. Peter eyed his glass carefully before taking a cautious sip.

"The game you play with Ms. Natasha and Ms. Wanda. You're playing, right? I saw you earlier with Thor." He explained. Y/n's face flushed, a little embarrassed that her moment with Thor had been witnessed by someone she knew. What if Steve saw? Would he be jealous?

Y/n nearly shook her head, convincing herself that she wasn't worth being jealous over. Especially to Steve.

"Oh, yeah. We are. That reminds me, you like Star Wars right?" She smirked, looking at him as she sipped his soda, the pink on his cheeks making her giggle.

"Well, yeah, I mean lots of people do. I'm not the only one-that would be weird. Unless you like it, not that you liking it would make it less weird. Not that you're not weird! Weird-"

"Peter!" Y/n laughed, putting her hand on his as she lightly brought the drink down. "Whew boy, maybe alcohol isn't your thing. Then again you've always been a rambler." She gently took the drink back from him, watching as a wave of relief washed over him.

"Have you eaten yet? I think there's hors d'oeuvres around here somewhere." She muttered, glancing around for any servers. Peter shook his head accepting his soda back before looking back up at her.

"No I'm okay, really." He told her, his heart warming at how much she seemed to care. It was nice and he enjoyed his relationship with Y/n. She allowed him to do things with her like travel, patrol, even hang out in the lab and she quickly became another idol of his.

"Are you thinking of watching Star Wars?" He asked her, referring to her previous question. She smiled, shaking her head.

"No, I've already seen it, I'm just thinking of a pick up line for the game. Tonight's rules are if you like my line I get a kiss and I fully intend on winning tonight." Peter nearly choked on air as his eyes widened yet again.

"A kiss? From me?" Y/n giggled, tapping her finger to her cheek.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Parker. A kiss on the cheek will do." She teased, making his face impossibly redder. He shook his head frantically trying to display as best he could that it wasn't his intention.

"I'm kidding. Now are you ready to hear my cheesy pick up line or will I just have to forfeit?" Peter's head didn't seem to stop shaking as he urged her to continue. "Alright here goes."

"Hey, sweetheart. Do you like Star Wars cause Yoda only one for me." With a wink she smiled, enjoying the scrunch of Peter's nose as he cringed at the line. 

"Not doing it for ya?" She laughed. Peter scoffed, trying to hide the smile that threatened to show.

"I hate to admit it, but it was kinda funny." He sighed, ashamed to have enjoyed such a horrible line. Y/n's grin grew, pointing to her cheek once more.

"Then pay up. I've got two more kisses to collect." Peter smiled, leaning forward and pecking the space her finger had been. "Thank you. Now find someone to mess with. I won't be the only one reeking havoc tonight." She poked a stern finger into his chest. With some convincing he eventually promised to at least pull a prank on Sam and Bucky.

With that she began to make her way to Tony. A knot formed in her stomach as she paced in his direction yet it wasn't Tony who made her nervous. No, only Steve Rogers could make her feel so squeamish and turn her legs to jelly. And she was making her way straight toward him.

Y/n could barely hear the click of her heels and the chatter of those around her over the pep talk she was giving herself in her head. She refused to embarrass herself in front of him. This was going to be her second chance and she wouldn't allow her nerves to ruin it again.

"As I live and breathe! Do I stand before Iron Man and Captain America? I do hope this isn't a dream." Steve's soft chuckle seemed to go straight to her core and she feared her heart might beat right out of her chest.

"Don't encourage her, Cap." Tony grumbled, turning his gaze to Y/n. "Well, if it isn't my favorite niece."

"Your only niece." Y/n corrected, a short glare focused on him as he smirked.

"Let me guess you're here to win the game. Let's hear it so poor Cap here can get a turn. I don't think he's kissed a woman since the 40s." Tony leaned down, whispering the last part and making Y/n giggle.

"Hey!" Steve objected in vain. But what Y/n said next sent any duty to protect his pride out the window.

"That's a crying shame. The ladies must not know what they're missing." Y/n froze as the words left her mouth. What was she thinking? Her face burned and she hid behind her glass trying to muffle her embarrassed groan with her champagne.

"Jeez, get a room." Steve and Y/n both glared at Tony but he didn't seem to care, instead shrugging innocently.

"Alright, here's your line you impatient ass." Y/n scoffed, deciding to use a particularly bad line for the annoying man she dared call her father figure.

"Was that it?" He smirked.

"Shut up, I gotta turn around and approach this again or else it won't work." She hissed, earning a heartfelt laugh from Steve. Twice. She'd made him laugh twice. Her heart was practically singing at the thought. Maybe she'd actually get to kiss him?

With more determination than before, she turned around, taking a few steps away before dramatically turning back to them. Using theatrics she no doubt learned from Tony Stark himself, she put on a smile before holding her arms out in a grand gesture.

"Well I'm here, what's your next two wishes?"

"That was horrendous." Tony said almost immediately while Steve tried to contain his laughter behind them.

"Well, I couldn't very well waste my best lines on you now could I?" Y/n jested, taking the glass in his hand and pouring what remained of his drink into her now empty glass.

Tony's teasing expression fell as he painfully watched Y/n sip her glass. "I can't believe you're related to me." Y/n smiled back at him proudly.

"Only by marriage." She shrugged. Tony sighed, leaning down and pressing a fatherly kiss to her forehead just along her hairline.

"Thank god." He ignored Y/n's squinted stare, turning to Steve. "I think I'm going to go get another drink, since mine was so blatantly stolen." Tony glanced at Y/n who shamelessly smirked.

"But first I wanna hear your pick up line for Cap. Please be something patriotic. Maybe sing him the national anthem." He suggested, nudging Steve forward to where he stood before Y/n.

Not expecting Tony's push, Steve stumbled nearly crashing into Y/n but thankfully he caught himself, only having a redder face than before.

"I'm not sure the national anthem is a pick up line, Tony." Y/n replied, focusing on anything but Steve. At this distance she could smell the familiar cologne and feel the heat radiating from him. It reminded her all too much of the days before the snap. When he'd hold her whenever she was hurt or when he'd pick her up to launch her toward an enemy. Reminded her of the few hugs they'd managed to share.

Reminded her of their last before she dusted in his arms.

"I don't know. He's really horny for America, it might work." Tony refuted, earning a threatening gaze from both Steve and his niece.

"Fine, y'know what? Have privacy or whatever in the middle of this crowded party. See if I care." Tony said, a little butt hurt that he wouldn't be able to witness the awkward exchange first hand.

He was no idiot when it came to his niece's attraction to the super soldier. While at first he disapproved, even more so when it led to her being on the opposite side that day in Berlin, years had led to forgiveness. He couldn't really stay mad at her even if he tried. Only sorry he hadn't apologized before the snap.

"Thank you, Tony." Y/n spoke quietly, sending him a grateful look. Whatever was about to happen already made her nervous, she didn't think doing it with Tony there would be possible.

"Yeah, yeah." He waved a dismissive hand, beginning to walk away.

It wasn't until he had Morgan that he realized he was already a father. Y/n had been his first and no matter his guilt, she would always forgive him. Always need him.

"Don't get carried away." He threatened suddenly, pointing to his eyes before twisting his hand back to them with a menacing squint.

Y/n rolled her eyes, looking back to Steve as Tony finally left.

"He's protective." Y/n explained, trying to be annoyed. It was actually kinda touching the way he cared despite his usual selfish smartass exterior.

"For good reason." Steve agreed, making Y/n's head tilt confused.

"You think I can't take care of myself?" She questioned defensively, ready to prove her worth no matter who he was.

"No, of course you can. Just-..." He trailed off, a sorrowful expression taking hold of his features against his will. "We've both failed you before. Numerous times." Steve confessed, his eyes falling downcast as Y/n realized what he'd meant.

She’d never truly thought about how her absence might have affected him. Before the snap he never gave any hint that he wanted to be more than a friend to her. But now she studied that look in his eye, that one she hadn’t recognized before. Heartbreak. 

"Steve, you didn't fail me." She insisted. Her hand had come to his own, grasping lightly at his loose fingers and ignoring the buzz in her skin and the rapid pace of her heart.

"No, I did. I turned you against your family. I got you arrested. I dragged you back into the fight and...you got snapped away." His voice broke at the end, years of depression and misery washing over him all over again.

"It wasn't your fault. We all lost that day." Y/n argued but her words didn't seem to stick.

"I'll never forgive myself." Steve's words were barely above a whisper, each syllable falling further into him unable to escape.

The sight alone made her heart ache but it was the way he'd spoken that truly shook her. They were the words of a broken man, a man that had lost it all. Had she done that to him? Did he care about her like that? Maybe he was scared too.

“Well, it's a good thing I already did.” Y/n smiled hoping to bring back the smile that she'd been able to give him moments before. Her hand stayed planted to his own more terrified to release it than she was to keep holding it. Would she ever work up the courage to do it again?

Steve looked back up at her, a tender glimmer in his eye as he moved his hand to hold her own. “I missed you.”

The statement alone wasn't nearly enough to convey how much he'd longed for her in those five years, left without any hope of ever getting her back. Didn’t show her the sleepless nights or the endless tears. Didn’t show her first few years he spent, alone and secluded. Didn’t show her how many times he prayed to any god that would listen for them to bring her back. 

But her eyes seemed to tell him that she understood. Y/n knew exactly how he felt even if she'd been relieved of it for five years. She remembered when she was arrested, screaming at the guards that they'd never find Steve. Remembered the sobs that racked through her when he came to free her, relieved he’d made it out of the war safely. Remembered their time on the run, unable to tell him how she felt. Remembered volunteering to stay with Bucky when Steve's worry became too much. Remembered him coming back and bring a war with him. Remembered him catching her before she dusted, too fast for her to tell him her greatest truth. 

She loved him.

“I missed you too.” She said softly, her face burning under his gentle gaze. They’d become so unbearably close at that point, making her breath ragged and her heart race. 

Clearing her throat, she looked away, trying not to reveal how flustered he made her. “So do you wanna hear my pick up line or not?” She once again changed the subject, making Steve smile at her lovingly. 

“Definitely.” He replied. 

“Alright. On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?” She gave him the first one that came to find, silently groaning when she realized she'd done exactly what Tony suggested. Curse their horribly similar minds. 

"That's terrible." Steve chuckled, staring at her with adoration unlike he'd ever done before. She was absolutely perfect in his eyes and he refused to waste anymore time being scared. 

"You didn't like that? I have more." Y/n rambled, oblivious toward Steve's affectionate gaze. "Can I tie your shoes? I don't want you falling for anyone else." 

Steve laughed, shaking his head as he stepping forward and shifting his hand to her waist as he pulled her closer. 

The action on flustered her further, dragging another pick up line out of her. "Or I like your last name, can we share it?" 

Steve's smile grew, his heart swelling with each word. He loved listening to her lines even if they were cheesy. But he was determined now and he wouldn't let either of their nerves stop them anymore. 

"I lost my number, can I have-"

Suddenly he leaned forward, cutting her sentence short as his lips latched onto her own. 

The kiss was so tender she practically melted in his arms, her hand coming to his chest while the other shifted to behind his neck, her fingers filtering through the lower part of his hair. His grip around her waist tightened as his heart pounded under her palms, the aftermath of anticipation rushing through his chest. 

It was effortless the way they molded together and it left him breathless. He couldn't believe he'd never just kissed her before and after believing all these years he'd never get the chance to, he was so grateful to have her now. 

"I've waited too long for that. I think I'm gonna need interest." Y/n gasped as they pulled away her eyes half lidded as she tried to process what had happened. 

"Was that another pick up line?" Steve's brows furrowed, his lips a beautiful shade of darker pink. 

Y/n smiled up at him, pulling him close once more. "Shut up." 

••• 

"Who's gonna tell her she didn't win?" Wanda questioned suddenly, glancing over at Nat. 

Sam raised his hands in surrender, passing off the duty as soon as possible to avoid any type of rage the woman might've wreaked on him. 

"I don't think she'll really care at this point." Nat spoke, pointing a finger toward the couple across the room. 

They didn't seem to care that they were in a room full of people, instead remaining engrossed in each other as they stared at each other lovingly. It was touching really but what Nat assumed to be their confessions had lost Y/n the game. 

"Wait does this mean the games with stop?" Sam questioned suddenly. 

"No, it'll just make them more interesting." Nat smirked.

#bucky barnes #marvel #avengers #endgame #buckybarnes #infinitywar #steverogers #first avenger #tonystark #iron man #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers fanfiction #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #sam wilson #bruce banner #thor odinson #peter parker #captain america #captain america x reader #tchalla

[sery-chan-13]

Stay High

Karube Daikichi × Reader

Based off this song

No, because It's a three am sad thought that should have been kept in my head. This is totally not based off of my deepest darkest feeling and fears. Anyways, ignore that. Um... yeah.

Warnings: Episode 3 spoilers, Manga spoilers, weed, smoking, suicide (this went darker than I intended, ok?), and another terrible attempt at angst :)

"Karu! For the last time, we're not getting a freaking parrot!" You scolded. "Aww, why not babe? They're cute," he said, pouting. You smiled kissing him quickly. "... I'll think about it," you said, before heading out. "I think that means we will have a-" "Don't push your luck babe. I'll see you after work."

_______________________________________

"And here is my attempt at trying to be nice. Happy anniversary!" You chirped, sliding a rather large gift his way. It had a draped cover over it, so he couldn't see inside. He looked at you suspiciously, slowly taking it in his hands. You had a camera in your hands, and we're smirking. He didn't trust that smirk. "Why do you have that camera?" He asked, nodding to it. "Just filming. It's a special day babe," you said, hiding your smile. "Can i-" "Don't you dare shake it-" He raised his hands in mock surrender, before slowly lifting the sheet.

You saw the smile that spread across his face. "I said I'd think about it," you said. He stood up, pulling your waist into him. He kissed you softly, making you smile in your head. "I'm guessing this means you like your gift?" You asked, a smirk on your face. "It's a fucking parrot, hell yeah I like it," he said. You laughed, pressing a kiss to his temple.

Tears blurred your vision, falling onto the screen of the camera. Had it really been a year since then?

"Ok, now I get to film you! Welcome to day 1 of our roadtrip, I don't know where we're going, but we'll find out soon enough," Karube said, turning the camera to face him. He then turned it to face you. You were putting your luggage into the trunk of your car, and looked up with a smile, giving the camera a peace sign. The parrot, who you two decided to name Nijiko after much deliberation due to its coloring, squawked on your shoulder. You smiled. "Yes, you'll be going to day care  for a while Nijiko," you spoke to the bird, petting it's beak softly. The bird shivered. "Day care? Nijiko day care?" It squawked, tilting it's head to the side. You nodded. "Yes, smart bird. Nijiko is going to daycare," you praised. "I sometimes wonder if she loves the bird more than me. The answer is yes. Yes she does," Karube said, laughing as you spoke to the bird.

"Update, it's been 4 hours, and we are in the middle of no where. The child(the bird) has been dropped off at day care... well boarding? For the week. The music's pretty good though, and this angel next to me is still here, so we're all good," he said. He was really serious about filming this. "Babe, why are you filming this again?" You asked, reaching to grab his hand on the center console. "Because memories baby girl," he responded, kissing the back of your hand as it was intertwined with his. You laughed, blowing him a kiss, turning your attention back to the road.

"Day 3 of our roadtrip, (Y/N) is deciding on what to wear, but as I've told her, she looks great in everything," he stated. You flipped him off, picking out something to wear finally. "Wowwwww, I can really feel the love," he said sarcastically, holding a hand to his chest dramatically. "Shut up, you know I love you," you said, rolling your eyes. "I know you do. Who wouldn't love me?" he joked. "I don't know babe. Watch it though, 'cause you're mine~!"

"Ok, it's a few hours later, (Y/N) is getting snacks, and I'm super nervous, because of this," he said, talking to camera. He pulled out a small box, showing the ring to the camera. "I've been documenting this whole thing like a maniac, because I didn't want her to be suspicious. But anyways, yeah... I've been thinking about it for a while, seeing as we've been together since high school. I am terrified, in all honesty," he rambled, running a hand through his hair. He put the small box back to where you wouldn't find it, but he wouldn't lose it. He saw you walking back to the car, and smiled. You opened the door, giving him a weird look. "You're filming again?" You questioned. He nodded. "You love the sound of your voice don't you?" You asked with a smile. He laughed, "Not as much as I love yours."

_______________________________________

He placed the camera was on a nearby fence post, facing you two, close enough to see and hear both of you. He started recording, and gave a thumbs up to the camera. You looked out to the water, admiring the hues of blue. The water crashed into the shore, spraying you with water. "You know when we get married, I'm definitely going to take you here again," he said. You kept looking out at the water, not noticing him. "When we get married? You already have this planed?" You laughed. You turned to face him, not seeing him at eye level. You looked down, and your eyes widened. "As I was saying, when we get married-" he started, getting interrupted when you jumped onto him, throwing your arms around his neck. You both fell to the sand, and you two couldn't help but laugh. "Are you serious? Like, really?" You asked, tears in your eyes. "Yeah, I'm serious. (Y/N), you've been with me for what seems like forever. I love you so much, and I want to be yours forever. Just as much as you'll be mine. So... would you do me the honor, and marry me?" He asked. He might have sounded confident, but he was shaking on the inside. The tears in your eyes fell, and you laughed nodding. "Yes, a million times yes," you said. He laughed, letting out a sigh of relief. You hugged him tightly, your head in the crook of his neck. "Forever and ever?" You whispered. "Forever and ever."

You looked down at the ring on your finger, crying even harder. His side of the bed stayed empty, no one would ever be able to sleep there. Not even you. His side of the room stayed untouched. The same way it had been left that morning. Before the accident.

"(Y/N)... I know you're sad, but this isn't healthy for you... just... call me back once you get this," Arisu sighed. "No answer again?" Usagi asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. He shook his head. "She's been with our group as long as I can remember. And she's been... she had been... with Karube even longer. If it's hard on me, I can't believe how hard it must be on her," Arisu explained. Usagi pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I'm sure she's fine. All people cope with things differently. Just give her space."

You were most definitely not fine. The grief that filled you everytime you saw Arisu's name on your phone, when you looked at anything that once belonged to Karube.  For the first time in the past few weeks, you wandered into the kitchen, and saw the binder filled with the ideas you two had for the wedding. You looked away, tears filling your eyes once more. You couldn't escape the sorrow that had filled your life. It seemed like he was everywhere. Even when you turned on the damn TV the news was talking about the incident. The names of the victims would pop up with pictures, and you would quickly turn it off. You grabbed the folder, ripping up all the papers in there, shredding them to bits in a fit of sadness. You dropped to your knees, holding the final piece of paper. You sniffled, wiping your eyes, looking down. It was in Karube's hand writing, and you took a deep breath. Eventually, you would have to read these things. Eventually, you would have to clean up his side of the room. You decided to start off small. By reading whatever this was.

'I may not be good at expressing my feelings, and this is not going to be the first time you've all heard me tell you how wonderful this woman is, and how much I love her. It certainly won't be the last, if I have any say in it. To which I do. If I could go back to the day we met, and you told me I would be marrying her, I would believe it. Because I've loved you from day one (Y/N). And now, I'll have you. Forever and ever.'

- Karube (rough draft, don't let (Y/N) find this)

You whimpered, holding the piece of paper to your chest. This was too much for you. You needed a distraction.

"Eh, just give me the money, no one will ever know," the woman said. You gave her the money, and she passed you a bag. "I promise it gets better dear. And be careful with that," she said sweetly. You nodded, your face so devoid of any emotion, it was hard to tell if you were still alive. Your world felt so numb to any emotion but hurt.

The burn of the smoke in your throat was satisfying. For the first time since his death, you felt something. Your eyes lazily looked up, staring at the ceiling.  The smell of the weed filled up the room and you rolled your eyes. For once the pain was gone. You couldn't think of anything in the moment other than being hungry. The first time in weeks that had happened.

That was your new routine. Wake up, lounge around, look through the videos and pictures of both of you, get high of your mind. It was the only way you'd forget. Was it healthy? No. Did you care? Also no. You started ignoring Arisu's calls, messages, and voice mails. Leaving them unseen, and unheard. He was worried, and Usagi had gotten worried as well, even though she'd only met you once at the hospital. You seemed like a pleasant person, and according to Arisu, you never left someone in the dark that long. You would usually respond quickly if you weren't at work. But, do to the incident, there wasn't work for a few weeks. That made him worry.

When he found out why you weren't answering, he was shocked. Your apartment wasn't exactly a mess. There were a few papers scattered in the kitchen, and uncollected mail, but other than that, your apartment was clean. He was so confused, hearing you giggling and talking to yourself in your room.

He knocked on the door, opening it slowly. "(Y-y/N)?" He asked hesitantly. You looked up, your eyes lazy and red. The smell of weed in your room was strong, the smoke going out of the window. How long had you been doing this? Had it become self destructive? These were questions he asked himself before seeing you doze off to sleep.

"What the hell were you thinking (Y/N)! You can't- you can't destroy your life over it! I- I was so worried! I've already lost two friends, I can't lose you too!" He scolded. It was a few hours later, and your high had passed. "Why do you care?" You snapped, the conversation being boring to you. The hurt you hadn't felt in weeks came back. He was back in your mind, not as your wonderful fiancé, but as the man you had lost. The man who you had to bury in the ground. It was horrible. Your mind hated the images of his body, lifeless and devoid of his usual smile. You hated it. Absolutely despised it.

"Because you're my friend! You've been my friend since high school! I know it hurts (Y/N), believe me I know, but you can't destroy your fucking life and mental health!" He scolded. It was so unfair to you, in your head. That he was saying something like that. "You want to know what's really destroying my mental health?! Not having him anymore! The fact that he's dead, and I can't- I can't-" you couldn't finish your sentence. Arisu felt bad, but this was an intervention. He had to be a bit forceful for you to stop. "Karube wouldn't want you to do this," he said softly. You felt more tears fall. But you didn't know how to deal with this. "How do you know what he wants?! He's dead!" You screamed. "H-hes dead," you whispered, your voice breaking. Arisu hugged you tightly as you cried. "Can I just know why?" He asked. "He's gone, and I have to stay high all the time to keep him off my mind. Gotta stay high... all my life to forget I'm missing him," you whispered. It was true. It was the only way you could feel something other than pain. The smoke made your mind hazy, and your sadness drifted away. But it wasn't healthy. And it would never be. "It gets better (Y/N)... please, just... stay with me for a week. So I can have peace of mind?"

2 years later

You sat on the sand of the beach, the waves crashed onto the rocks nearby, and a breeze blew the salt water into your face. You looked down at the ring on your finger, sighing at the sight of the shiny gem. You smiled sadly, pressing a kiss to it. "Soon my darling... soon we'll be together again. Forever and ever."

Because the high kept him off your mind, you didn't learn how to cope any other way. The only way was to feel any other pain. You had tried to meet other people, but no one was ever as good. You couldn't even talk to other guys without feeling guilt. It felt wrong. It was like whatever you did, you couldn't get over it. At all. In fact, it had gotten worse over the years. Especially on the yearly anniversary of the incident. Reporters would go to your home and ask you questions, seeing as people had asked you while you were in the hospital. How we're you supposed to get over it when you were reminded constantly?

So there was no thoughts in your head as you walked into the water. It was cold, shocking you. If you didn't drown, you'd die of hypothermia. And that was fine with you.

Forever and ever, no?

Ok, ok, ok.... wow, wowowowowow, this was a three am sad thought that did not have to be written, ok, um wow... that was darker than I intended, holy shit-

I promise I'm done with the terrible attempts at angst, and I promise I'm working on the my other oneshots/books. It's just that when I have an idea, I need to write it before I forget.

Remember that people love you, even if you think no one does, I promise you they do. If you really need help, please find it, and if you would like, I'm always glad to talk to people if they need my help.

#alice in borderland #×reader #spotify #Karube Daikichi #angst? #three am thoughts are hard to deal with #im honestly proud of this one

[yzkhr]

Part two of the Love Language miniseries!

Once again, I dedicate this to one of my favorite Shinran authors, @meitanteisachi

Part three might take a little while since I'm in my lazy mode. So please forgive me if the next part will be late 🤧

Warning: Probably my longest fic ever. So long that I need to divide into two parts. I kinda got carried away.

-

Receiving Gifts-You feel loved and appreciated when your partner or someone gives you a gift. It doesn't need to expensive, just something sentimental and thoughtful.

She was seven when Ran received her first memorable gift from Shinichi.

She remembered how It had been a month since her mother moved away, turning her life upside down. At a young age, Ran forced herself to be responsible; learning how to cook without burning the food, doing household chores that her father never knew how to do, and taking care of both a child who's too young and a grown man who's too immature and broken to live on his own.

It vastly made a growth and development in her character. Teachers and classmates alike noticed the way she had matured, from the way she handled her emotions—always putting on a smile and being the bigger one in the petty fights— to her mannerisms and gestures that resembled an older sister.

To them, her mother leaving became somewhat a good thing, with her maturity blooming early.

If only that were true.

No one knew that as soon as she opened the door of the empty detective office, Ran would be filled with her mother's presence; Hearing her voice, seeing her face, and even missing her scolding. Instead of saying anything to her father however, she brushes it off, puts on a facade, being a mother, a wife, and a daughter all at the same time to a drunk and emotionally unstable man.

But at the end of each day, entering her room and not crying was impossible. Her eyes watering at the sight of the empty bed that used to be filled with her mothers' scent, all gone. And like the child that she was—that she should be— she would sobbed and whimper silently, until exhausted enough to close her eyes and unaware that there's no one beside her just to sleep.

Ran was sure no one knew or was even remotely aware of her secret. After all, her smile shined and eyes glimmered in school so different from the distraught face she wears each night since last month.

But she had underestimated him.

On the day of her birthday, everyone greeted her with their own set of trinkets and gifts. Most were letters and drawings, filled with gratitude and love through the used of poorly executed writings and simple but meaningful pictures. Ran was happy to received all of them, whether they were small—like a piece of her favorite candy— or expensive and big, such as the dress given to her by Sonoko.

But unlike all her other birthdays, she didn't feel as contented and satisfied. There laid a gnawing feeling inside of her, aware that she'll never have what she truly wished for.

As they walked home from school, Ran expected Shinichi to give her at least some sweets. So, when he invited her to come by his house she agreed with a nod, genuinely having no idea.

So, she stood for a few minutes outside the mansions' gates, reading out some letters to pass time. She became so engrossed at reading that she didn't even notice him go outside until he was finally in front of her. Catching a set of feet just in front, she looked up. Her eyes widened as soon as she saw a fairly large and fluffy inanimate object in Shinichi's hands, holding it out to her.

"Here you go, Happy Birthday, Ran." he greeted, tilting his head on the side behind the cute teddy bear grinning from ear to ear. Instinctively, Ran accepted his gift and brought it close to her chest, feeling it's soft synthetic fur.

She slowly scrutinized it, it's features somewhat reminding her of...

"M-mom?" whispering incredulously, she glanced at Shinichi. Still wearing a smile, he nodded.

"That's right. Even if you don't talk about it, I know you miss your mom. You've been crying a lot too--"

"I wasn't crying!" she denied, but her mask slipped a little when he deadpanned.

"Yes you were," he stated calmly, as if he saw her doing so. She glared.

"How would you know? I never cried in school!"

"I'm sure before we go to school you do. Your eyes were always a little red and puffy when entering the class after all." he argued back. Instead of being embarrassed, Ran found something more important to point out.

"You were watching me?" she questioned, eyes curious. She didn't know why, but the thought of Shinichi watching and observing her made her smile(and a little nervous).

In an instant, gone was the confident and composed childhood friend of hers, image being ruined by his immediate coughing as if he swallowed a huge thing, cheeks flushed a healthy red, and a stuttering mess as he negated her claim.

"B-Barou! Those were just coincidences!!" then he slightly looked away, seemingly afraid to meet her violet orbs. Scratching his still blushing cheeks, he changed the topic.

"W-Well, Happy Birthday. You can use that stuff animal when you feel, you know, lonely." he dazed off, then glanced over her shoulder. As if realizing something significant, his eyes widened.

"It's already sun down! You gotta go home now or Occhan is gonna scold me!"

Ran followed his advice right after. As soon as she arrived home, she found her father in a sober state, and was even the one who tried to cook dinner for the both of them. Eri called later that night, which made Ran happy. She still asked her mother when the woman will come home and Eri would always reply with a vague answer. She didn't pressure her mother anymore, not wanting to ruin both their day.

That night as she entered her room, strangely enough, Ran didn't feel lonely. She also didn't feel the need to exhaust herself, now having a sweet stuff animal to comfort and fill her warmth. She settled on her soft bed, hugging the teddy bear tightly. And for the first time since her mother's moving away, Ran didn't cry.

-

They were thirteen, she recalled, when she received her second most thoughtful gift from him.

"Hey Ran, did you find the kitten?" Ran glanced up, hearing her name from Sonoko. She shook her head as an answer.

"It's still missing. I tried asking around but they said they never saw it." her bestfriend looked at her worriedly, knowing what she was thinking.

A few days ago, her, Sonoko, and Shinichi found a little ball of fur on their way home from school. They all took pity, Ran specially. So, the three teenagers took upon themselves to look after it until just a week ago, it disappeared. They searched everywhere around the area, trying to spot a little black kitten with huge and round green eyes. Unfortunately, they never succeeded.

Seeing Ran's mood depleted, Sonoko patted her back as comfort, grinning.

"Don't worry about it! I'm sure it has found an owner by now." Ran smiled, being reassured but still a bit dissatisfied. She decided to adopt the kitten after all but it was still nowhere to be seen.

To lighten the mood, Sonoko changed the topic to new shops, magazine, and gossips. Since the teacher was late, the Suzuki Heiress was unstoppable.

Rans' attention was grabbed however, when a certain someone entered the classroom. He was yawning, not bothering to hide his sleepiness. Rubbing his blue eyes languidly, she noticed how the dark circles under them became even more pronounced than before. Her eyes also became aware that there were some lines seared into his skin—scratch marks.

As if conscious that someone was watching him, Shinichi turned his head around, meeting weary blue with observing violet. It only lasted for a second, with the former looking away and going straight to his desk.

Shinichi had been acting weird lately. It started a week before, with him telling Ran that he would be late and she can just go ahead without him. True enough, he always came late ever since, which normally rarely happens.

Another thing to note would be his physical state. He looked restless, eyebags so obvious along with the constant yawning and even sometimes sleeping through an entire period. The last part wasn't new, but Ran heeded how easily he fell asleep, unlike back then where he needed to toss and turn his head for a comfortable position.

The last thing to caught her eye would be the little scratch marks. She would've been convinced that it was another case but seeing the scrape from his arms threw her off guard. They were shallow, but it didn't wave off her suspicions any less.

So, Ran decided that after class, she would visit him, whether he liked it or not.

The day went by rough, with Ran not being able to focus thanks to a sleeping classmate who looked far too exhausted for a normal student. Sonoko, looking at her stressed friend, ask her out to eat that sounded too appealing but she had to refused, knowing that if she didn't find out the reason for her best friend's odd behavior, she'll be the one to act weird next.

Knowing Shinichi's detective instinct, Ran knew better than to follow him on the get go and get caught. She waited an hour around the area, before making her way to the Kudo Mansion. The only problem now was how to enter without being seen.

She treaded through the stone path, finding the gate unlock. The middle schooler shook her head, both thankful and a little scared. What could he be so busy about for him to forget closing the gate?

Once Ran reached the front door and checked, that's when the immense feeling of worry kicked in. Shinichi also forgot to close the front door!

'What's happening to him? Is a case stressing him this much? Did something terrible happened? Why isn't he telling me--'

Her thoughts were abruptly stopped when the sound that something metallic fell reached her ears, making her anxiety increased tenfold.

Wasting no time and completely losing her initial target, Ran rushed in like lightning, fear evident in every step.

Upon reaching the kitchen and thoughts of her bestfriend in danger flooding her senses, she barged in.

Only to find the great detective Kudo Shinichi rubbing his head, and a couple of pans and plastic bowls scattered around the tiled flooring.

They gaped at each other, unable to register the current scenario. Ran was broken out of her trance however, when she noticed a light bump growing on the top of his head, which he was rubbing a while ago before he froze.

Previous distress setting in once again, Ran hurried by her childhood friends' side, helping him to stand.

"What happened?" she asked, examining and touching the bump. As if electrified by their contact, he flinched and backed away slightly, eyes a bit hazy.

"R-Ran, what are you doing here?" he seemed more concern of her presence than his own well being which made her glare.

"You've been acting weird this past week!" she accused as he treaded away from her, a bit too cautious. She took note of how his left hand slid behind him, fully intending to hide something away from her sight.

"Weird what, me? Barou, I've been perfectly normal. You're just overacting." the response didn't sound so convincing when he was literally sweating and avoiding her scrutiny.

"Yeah, then why were you always late this week?" the interrogation began.

"I was busy with a case Megure-keibu presented me, that's why." gaining his composure, Shinichi answered in a confident manner but that didn't drop any of her suspicions.

"Then what about you being constantly tired these days?" Ran pressed on, ambulating near her suspect. he kept his ground, so sure she was the one who was weird, not him.

"The case was so hard that I couldn't find time to sleep." he casually said, looking bored and done with the questioning.

She kept on walking towards slowly and when she was finally in front of him, she smiled innocently.

"Okay then, I have one last question to ask," he smiled, thinking he won. Then, feigning obliviousness, he consented.

"Fire away."

With those words as her signal, Ran forcefully yanked his left arm that he had been so carefully shielding and him having no time to react, she succeeded, revealing the scratch marks as her last piece of evidence and a.... kitten!?

Silence ensued. Until a mewl came out fromm the little ball of fur. Ran examined the little thing, coming to her conclusion.

"Please don't tell me this was the little kitten that's been missing since last week." she quietly pleaded for him to deny, but all he offered was a gulp and a weary nod.

Anger and bewilderment filled Ran, as she shook her head as an attempt to calm, but seeing the kitten that she had been desperately looking for, for the past few weeks made her burst.

"Why didn't you tell me you had the cat!? You knew that I was looking all over the neighborhood! I even told you I was going to take care of it--"

"That's exactly why I took it!" he interrupted, his excuse perplexing her thoughts even more than before.

"What?" he sighed and put the little kitten down gently, moving to the counter and sitting on one of the tools.

"Well, remember when you first tried to take it home? It was really aggressive, wasn't it?"

She did remember her hand getting scratch and almost bitten when she endeavored to adopt it. So, she gave a nod.

"Well, knowing what you were planning to do, I decided to take it to a friend of mom's who happened to be a vet and get it checked just to make sure. She said it was fine but it seemed a bit violent to humans so she advised me to take care of it so that it will get used to the environment. Knowing you, you would've been dumb enough to just take it without any examination and might get yourself really injured." she tried to refute his last statement but decided against it, knowing he was probably right.

But there was one thing that didn't made sense. "Then why didn't you tell me about it? If I had known I wouldn't have wasted my time, you know." hearing her question made him clearly uncomfortable, eyes now travelling anywhere but hers and cheeks tainted a light pink. They kept quiet, him contemplating while Ran patiently waited.

Knowing his loss, the detective whispered but she still heard it. "I was planning to give it to you next week. I just wanted it to be a surprise."

For some really unexplainable reason, Ran felt her heart beating faster than normal that she might die, face heating up, and even having a stampeding elephant on the pit of her stomach.

"Shinichi..." she uttered, not knowing what to say. Still looking the other way, he misinterpreted her calling as scolding.

"I know, I know. I shouldn't have done that. I should've told you properly and you wouldn't have to put so much effort into finding--"

His next lines were suddenly gone when she wordlessly went in front of his sitting figure and patted his hair softly, just like petting a feline. He stammered and tried to speak but found himself to be voiceless by her next words.

"Thank you, I really appreciate it..." she wanted to say more but was being suffocated by the swarming butterflies in her stomach, not allowing her to do so.

"You better be..." he mused, trying to lighten the mood and to calm his racing heart. As if by magic, he felt a sudden urge to close his eyes and lean on her posture, loving the way she stroke his hair so gently. And so he did.

Ran was taken aback by the unforeseen intimacy but didn't complain. They stayed like that for a few minutes, until she felt almost all of his weight on her, coupled with his heavy breathing that she concluded he fell asleep.

Slowly, she moved him to the sofa of the living room, all the while trying to not burst at the feeling of his breath on her neck. Succeeding, she grabbed a pillow and a blanket from his room, finally setting him down on the couch.

Ran couldn't help but feel guilty, finally figuring out that she was the reason of all his strange behavior all along. It explained his worn out expression throughout the entire week, having to take care of an aggressive kitten without having any prior experience must be exhausting, and it showed through his sleepless nights and lack of energy at everything in class.

Then, her eyes travelled to the little scratches and wounds all over his arms. They were nothing serious, but they must have at least sting. Wanting to at least alleviate the pain, Ran brought the first aid kid from his room and tenderly tended to all of the gashes and marks, and him not even flinching one bit despite being supposedly a heavy sleeper, became proof of how much time and effort he put for her surprise.

Ran went home that day, carrying his gift with her. She knew that he was supposedly giving this next week, but the teenager was pretty sure that Shinichi wouldn't be able to handle another week of torture like that. So, she left a note to make sure he didn't worry.

Years passes after that, but Ran would never forget the kitten he gave her, and the inexplicable giddy feeling with it. Sonoko would remind her how happy she was that she couldn't physically stop smiling for a while that it weirded many out but personally for Ran, it was worth it.

-

(Has a part 2 because it's so unnecessary long)

#Minisseries #Love Language #Shinran #detective conan #Part 2.1/5