#i shit on religion a lot but it's valid given how much shit it caused irl

[nebulouscoffee]

here is a star trek ask!! if we could have gotten a ds9 episode focused on kasidy yates, what would you have liked to see? do you have any headcanons about her that you would like to share?

Ahh thank you for asking me about Kasidy specifically, I adore her & talking about her! (And thank you @everyone who sent me asks in general, I was not expecting this many and I actually got to split the distraction material across a couple of rough days so yay🤗)

First of all I NEED to know what it was like on Kasidy's freighter. She is literally the captain of her own crew!! And she was already working in the Bajoran sector before she met the Sisko fam, so I imagine she had Bajoran crew members (within the Maquis majority). On the show, after she's caught in 'For the Cause', she drops her crew off with the Maquis & takes responsibility for all their crimes- I don't know if this makes them wanted criminals in the Federation or completely off the hook lol, but either way, getting back to work mid-s5 must've been crazy! And since she's working for the Bajorans now, even if she did get back a lot of her old crew, I personally hc that her new crew has a Bajoran majority. And Kasidy doesn't seem overly fond of Bajoran religion or their more rigid traditions (though in my view, this is coloured by the way it gets in the way of Ben's life and her privacy), so I would've loved a further exploration of that- especially given how she eventually decides to settle on their planet.

And obviously there should've been an episode with her and Jake! He's the one who befriended her first after all, and he liked her so much he instantly tried to set her up with his dad. That sounds like a very precious relationship that happened almost entirely offscreen! So best of both worlds, maybe somewhere around S5 she takes Jake along on a cargo run- just a fun little bonding trip- and whoopsies, they run into some troubles. This would be after the Cardassia-Dominion alliance, so maybe they get tractor beam'd by some desperate Maquis now being hunted to extinction by Cardassian patrols- and of course, Kasidy's old sympathies for them arise. But it's also a big "oh shit" moment for her, because this time JAKE IS HERE. She already feels like her relationship with Ben is on thin ice after her time in prison; now she's endangered his son! And maybe this also brings out some of the pro-Maquis, We Doubt The Emissary takes among her crew as well, and… while she objects to them publicly, she clearly is still conflicted. Jake is taking all of this in his stride though, this happened to him once already in 'Nor the Battle' so now he's just whatever about it, straight up interviewing Maquis and putting together this comprehensive document of their dreams & goals- maybe he even starts sympathising with their position! Kasidy is low key horrified at the implications of this, but because she is unapologetic by nature, she doesn't exactly discourage him. Lol

One thing I always wished DS9 explored in more detail is how Ben's rivalry with Eddington changed his views on the Maquis- like in S2, he seems almost understanding of their aims, but by S5 he's barely holding the quadrant together and he's had enough of the Maquis getting in the way of his political plays. There's this fascinating thought mechanism at work here- are the Maquis' original demands less valid now that surrounding situations have rendered them trivial (to someone like Ben, at least)? Is their struggle less valid for being represented by someone like Eddington, rather than literally anyone more sympathetic? Jake even wrote a Maquis-themed short story a couple seasons ago iirc- what would it mean for Ben, to hear his son actually got caught up in one? This would have made the more personal nature of his anger in 'For the Uniform' make more sense to me. But ultimately, the episode would still be completely focused on Kasidy (and Jake), and a further exploration of her attitudes towards her job and all her decisions.

And maybe she and Jake get to talk a bit more about the events of 'Rapture', so we get to see Kasidy beginning to feel more responsible for him. Maybe she actually promises him she'll be around if anything happens to Ben. The transition between Jake being her boyfriend's kid to Jake being family, basically. Ahh the possibilities!

I also think we should've seen her interact more with Jadzia. And Kira. (This is possibly because I ship Kasidy/Kira a fair bit lol). Maybe a S7 episode? I always felt that 'Prodigal Daughter' would've flowed better if it had a B-plot; maybe there could've been a similar thread with Kasidy going to visit her family during the war? Or maybe they visit the station. I would've loved to have met her brothers! There could've been a really interesting contrast there, with the warmth of her family vs Ezri's- though, they are not entirely devoid of conflict either. Maybe they disapprove of how serious things are getting with Ben, and they have their doubts over whether a man who is literally a religious figure in Bajoran society will prioritise her- and again, she defends him, but she can't quite fully disagree. This would've made her willingness to just completely walk away in 'TDDUP' hit harder too (for me at least).

There's also this huge three-month period where Ben and Jake were away on Earth and the Bajoran wormhole was closed. What was Kasidy doing at this time? Her cargo runs, obviously- but, how is she supposed to balance that with her growing concerns about Ben, and the demoralisation of her Bajoran crew? (Again- she's a captain- she must be thinking about this kind of stuff all the time!) So maybe early in s7, Kira invites her to the shrine one day- and she touches something and has a series of non-linear dreams that don't seem to make much sense, but in hindsight, they actually foreshadowed the trajectory of her relationship with Ben and his eventual disappearance completely? Idkkkk again these are all boiling down to foreshadowing the ending better while giving Kasidy (and her relationship to that loss) more focus haha

As for headcanons, I firmly believe she is one of those 24th century humans who has never been to Earth (or at least, hasn't spent much time there). One or both of her parents was probably a freighter captain and Kasidy basically grew up in space :)

#this turned out humongous I'm so sorry #but tysm for the ask & all your kind words friend!! <3 #ask game

[dumbass-rogue]

I think it's funny arguing about the prime deities in a world where there is proof of their existence. The argument isn't about whether they are real or not (like how it is irl) but rather if we need them. That alone the gods have proven time and time again that yes they have helped and are always helping. We have had proof of this in the campaigns and the proof is in the history of Exandria.

Now, the gods are asking for help and are actively being hunted by a god killer released by a god hater. Which is why I find the argument the cr3 is making off. Why are you questioning the gods when the gods have done nothing but help. And making the argument "well they haven't had intereactions with the gods" is false. Laudna was brought back by a cleric of Sarenrae and the Wildemother gave Orym a sword. These are acts the god have done to people who don't actively follow them.

The problem is people. It's always been the people. Much like what we deal with irl, people have taken upon themselves to interpret what the gods want. They have taken upon themselves to keep history from the masses. They have actively tried to "dethrone" the gods for their own gain. Governments have even banned certain gods. A lot of the issues we have with the gods aren't actually with the gods themselves, but with people who decided on their own to do shit . Which then also begs the question, why don't the gods do anything about these certain people, which can only be answered by free will, and again, they do have something to gain from having followers.

It's a weird line CR is walking on trying to talk real life harm religion has had with a world where the existence of gods who have actively helped being question because of a valid secret they've kept hidden from mortals who have a history in messing with them xD

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense, but as someone with religious trauma I too made the joke about how i'd join Ludinus in the anti god club. But that was adding my own traumas into a story that had actually also helped me understand that while yes religion has caused a lot of hurt and pain, there is a side to it that has given purpose and life to so many people. This is a world where there are a lot of things the gods have done that have kept them safe and people are the ones who keep fucking it up.

Welp we'll see how this goes, i guess.

#critical role #cr discourse #critical role spoilers

[servingliesarchived]

i often think about merlin, a magical being that is as pagan as can be, leaving europe for a bit and returning, and suddenly christianity is widespread and nothing he’s achieved in his lifetime is valid anymore, like i’d be bummed too if i were him.

#𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 ; nerd central. #i shit on religion a lot but it's valid given how much shit it caused irl #merlin like: well fuck then #i love the idea of merlin winding up in some church and just. laughing at this stuff #like he knows latin you know? fluently #every now and then he meets people that still are all about pagan ways #and he's like ah yes i'm at home #merlin just going around teaching people magic #and how to read and healing and herbalism #hanging out and officiating the handfastings and other ceremonies #it's all i want

[lochnessies]

I feel like 3H discourse gets fucked over a bit by people not taking into account that characters will say inaccurate information (without it having to be a plot hole). Perspective is a huge theme in Three Houses and characters are going to make, sometimes, dramatic actions based off that misinformation.

yeah

Like, Dmitri accuses Edelgard of being involved in the Tragedy of Duscur, but, she was like, 12 when that happened. It’s a lot more likely that Edelgard was being experimented on or recovering from experimentation during that point in time considering that the Tragedy happens not long after Edelgard and Dmitri last see each other.

do i think edelgard was involved? nah. it’s one of the few things i genuinely believe her on. however, it isn’t unreasonable for dimitri to think she was somehow involved. i mean, faerghast is pretty standard medieval when it comes down to fighting. was sent to quell rebellions at like 14. that’s really young. and in the middle ages the standard age that boys trained to be nights was at the very least seven (glenn was 15 when he was full on knighted). felix says he learned to fight before he could write his own name and dimitri was already swinging swords at nine. not to mention she was in the kingdom and then not long after she leaves the tragedy happened. so it could also look like she was a spy even if she didn’t set lambert on fire herself.

then there’s the whole shit of her saying nothing. a whole nation gets wiped out and she has no plans to ever vindicate them. hell, even dedue says that her being involved in any way is unacceptable and he’s fucking pissed. is he delusional? is he being irrational and unfair to edelgard? she isn’t the victim here, dedue, his people, the kingdom royals and co. are.

Likewise, Setheth accuses Edelgard of trying to become a false goddess when that’s not even remotely close to her goals.

ok this part right here is the reason that this fucking thing took forever to come out (sorry anon). i have so much to say and i wanted to write it all but i decided to put in my edelgard essay instead. i then waited to post this answer but sadly it’s taking longer to edit than i planned and i feel bad so you’re going to have to wait for this bit. so if you stick around i’ll talk about that in depth in the essay but just know that i disagree with the op very much.

Edelgard makes a ton of false accusations and misconceptions about Rhea. She accuses Rhea of being a power hungry inhumane tyrant who has no regard for life outside her own when that just isn’t remotely accurate.

And then there’s Claude, literally the only major faction leader that cares to uncover the truth and nuances of everyone’s decisions. He’s literally the only faction leader to not act like his version of events is the definitive truth. He acknowledges that he and Edelgard are fighting for similar things: a system overhaul of Fodlan. He also doesn’t oppose the Church because he’s learned enough about it to want to keep it’s institution in place. That’s why he’s the only faction leader that can survive in every route (I’d consider Seteth and Rhea to share the role as Church Leader since Seteth leads the Church Route but Rhea’s the one actually in charge of the Church). Claude is also the only leader that doesn’t make any false claims about other factions. I said a while ago that Claude would make the best ruler and this is why.

ok this is fine

But going back to what I said earlier about discourse, this impacts discourse drastically because people can just pick whichever version of events they prefer and there’s probably a character who claimed it went that way. The plot also doesn’t seek to clarify events one way or the other in any route. So even if you’ve played every route, it’s up to the player to make judgment calls on who’s speaking out of their ass.

except it’s literally not. we are told what routes have correct information from the devs themselves. and unreliable narrators can be proven and disproven when you put their words against everyone else, their actions, and the lore.

Between all the relevant character and plot details the game hides behind supports, endings, and other easily missable content and the fact that no two characters interpret the series of events that happen in the plot the same way (due to coming from various background, being present for some stuff but not others, having different priorities and biases that will cause them to interpret different things in different ways, etc.), no two players are likely going to interpret the events of 3 Houses the same either.

just because two characters interpret the events differently doesn’t mean they’re right. for example, the agarthans think the crest experiments are good but edelgard and lysithea would say otherwise. but you wouldn’t say that twsitd’s perspective is valid just bc they see things differently.

and when i see players trying to excuse some of the most horrific things bc they don’t want their fave war criminal to look bad yes i will judge them. you can like whoever but don’t excuse shit like imperialism and racism and we will be fine.

So, if you want to talk 3H, please acknowledge that none of the characters should be taken solely on their word, especially when describing major things. With the examples I gave earlier of misinformation in the game, it makes sense that Dmitri would place the blame of the Tragedy of Duscur almost entirely on Edelgard because he doesn’t know about the Agarthans or Edelgard’s history with them.

ok but she’s still complicate if nothing else. that’s still terrible. like if she was planning to clear duscur’s name that’s one thing but she isn’t. the only way to do that is to reveal twsitd and we know she doesn’t since it is a shadow war that the people don’t know about since that would reflect badly on her for working with them.

It makes sense that Edelgard has a lot of misconceptions about the Church because once you start completely rewriting and erasing history (and the Church does openly censor literature, which is shown in Claude’s route), any possible “true story” is more likely than the story you’re giving. Alongside that, Edelgard is getting most of her information from the Agarthans and a very private source only accessible to the Imperial Family.

fair but choosing war at like 13 is an extreme jump. maybe wait till your brain fully develops and you have a better picture of the world around you

It makes sense that Seteth might assume that Edelgard is trying to become a false god because he’s been helping lead a religion based on lies for centuries.

she is. also the religion isn’t based off of lies. sothis exists. she’s in your head. a few details were changed to hide nabateans from a red canyon massacre 2.0. however, the values are the same. also he came to the monastery 20 years ago not centuries.

When you’re trying to understand some part of Three Houses, you have to think about where that information came from, what factors might be biasing that information, and that there might be some detail that shines a new light on that information somewhere else in the game that you’re missing. And that’s generally a good philosophy to have when processing any information.

yeah

That’s something I like about Three Houses. I like how you have to sort through a ton of biases and misinformation within the game to understand the story. If you let your own biases get away from you too much, you’re going to miss the larger picture. The game let’s you know exactly where everyone is coming from in some way and (almost) everyone is given a sympathetic eye in at least one route. And (almost) everyone is viewed as irredeemable in at least one route.

the only people who are portrayed as irredeemable are edelgard and rhea (and maybe dimitri if you count edel’s contempt for him in cf).

#asks

[juleswritesthis]

Roswell NM 3x11 Thoughts (I have a lot of thoughts!!!)

Contrary to popular opinion I really liked this episode. Yes, the science was so made up it was funny, yes certain character choices are hilariously silly, yes there was a lot of scenes filled with exposition dump, yes characters disappearing for episodes not to be mentioned as if they don’t exist is jarring & annoying, and omg yes, the Wyatt arc (if you can call it that) fell flat and was a complete waste of valuable screen time. So yes, I agree with most everyone’s assessment. That said still a very enjoyable and entertaining episode setting up the final concluding 2 hours of the season. Let’s get into it.

Jones is highly entertaining, overly good looking, and sometimes hilarious villain. Nathan shines bringing charm and depth to the role. Its important to note that Jones hasn’t caused any lasting damage to the group. Sure, he has tried to kill various members, he’s responsible for putting Maria in a coma & has kidnapped half the cast basically, kept our heroes busy all season. But when it comes to killing or destruction it’s really been focused on the dregs or racist folks of the town, the poor scientist in Santa Fe (I think it was Santa Fe) & the lady at the university last week. No one of any real consequence to our heroes. Now I have no idea if Maria’s vision arc has concluded because it hasn’t been mentioned in forever, but I’m assuming that there will be a major death by season end. Noah killed Rosa and the 2 other girls, abused Isobel for 10 years and destroyed the lives of all the mains. For Jones to be a real big bad there’s got to be some long-lasting consequences to one or more of our mains. Though I’m going into the final 2 episodes with excitement there is some concern. I don’t think any of the mains will perish but I do worry about Sanders and even Heath. (I’m really worried about Sanders y’all especially after that promo!!!)

Jones negotiation with Liz was bizarre. Why negotiate at all? Wouldn’t he just threaten to kill or maim people…what the heck is Liz’s bargaining chip against an all-powerful, evil dictator? If she doesn’t do what he wants he can just start killing folks she loves. It really is that easy. I get the whole creativity inspiration thing but fear for those you love is a great motivator. I was so amused that after hours of discussion Liz pulls out the big guns… free the sheriff. Was that her wild card? Really Liz? She may be a kick-ass scientist with a boatload of courage and sass, but I wouldn’t have her negotiating any of my needs anytime soon.

Isobel and Rosa scenes continue to delight. I think it’s clear Rosa won’t be in Season 4 much. As much as I will miss her, I’m glad that she will find some peace and joy at art school, she deserves it. Unlike Wyatt who does not deserve any tranquility because his redemption (if you can call it that) was not earned. Instead, his memories were wiped along with it any true feelings of guilt and remorse. How can we believe he has truly changed? What happens if his memories return? So silly and completely wasteful screen time (no offense to the actor who is quite good and likable).

The Dallas and Max scenes were wonderful. Don’t get me wrong I prefer the show not tell method. And Dallas conveniently having the entire Oasis history in a memory from his father then regurgitating those memories to Max (and the audience) was not the best way to convey the story. However, the actor who plays Dallas is ridiculously charismatic and I could listen to him recite the phone book (do those still exist?) and be entertained. Plus, for one moment I truly believe that Dallas had gotten through to the constantly self-sacrificing, martyr that is Max Evans. But as the promo for finale proves with Max asking Michael (why Michael?) to kill him, the words didn’t stick. Oh Max…

Speaking of, I truly feel so bad for Max. He’s had it rough. In a span of couple weeks, he’s been told he is a clone of an evil dictator, he isn’t the Savior but in fact a weapon to bring down the real Savior who also isn’t really a savior but a genocidal maniac (Michael’s words not mine) who slaughtered half his planet. Not to mention the “there has to be 3” doesn’t include him, as he isn’t part of the triad. And that because he is a clone, he doesn’t actually have biological parents or siblings or anything, well Michael, by DNA sort of, maybe? Oh, and he is the only thing tethering the evil, psycho dictator to life. I mean…

My hope for Season 4 is that Max gets to process everything he has learned about his existence. He hasn’t expressed how he feels the entire season and he deserves to. I hope the writers don’t have him get over it by season’s end with one scene or worse just sweep it under the rug. Like being a clone of an evil psycho, to be used as a weapon, without any real connection to Isobel and Michael? That’s got to have some lasting effects…please writers let me see it on my screen.

Speaking of show not telling, Michael’s new powers. I not a fan of Michael telling us a story of how he used his mind control powers accidently when he was 18. Can we please see these scenes so we can feel the true emotional impact?

As for these powers, strap in, this is a doozy (and might be controversial). I, like Michael, feel that taking someone’s free will, no matter who they are is not a good power to have; it’s not fun, it’s not cool. Michael is right that’s some dark shit and a power that needs to be used very sparingly and with a ton of responsibility.

I loved the scene between Sanders and Michael, but I have a couple issues with some of the dialogue. Sanders is the only living person (other than Jones) that knew and loved Nora. Thus, he can speak about her with authority. He is also the only person who is any kind of real parent figure in Michael’s. Thus, him saying Michael has no darkness can be believed. He knows Michael and he knows Nora. However, Sanders doesn’t know what its like to have powers, especially an immense power such as mind control. Though I appreciate Sanders’ perspective (and agree with him about the purity of Michael’s soul) I wasn’t a big fan of him brushing away Michael’s fears about having mind control powers and not wanting to use them. Yes, it’s important for Michael to recognize just because he has Jones’ power doesn’t mean he is or will ever become Jones. It’s not the powers that make a person. But the line about Nora not fearing her powers was not helpful. Nora’s powers were telekinesis, engineering (if genius is a power) and possibly miraculous crop growth. None of these powers take away a person’s ability to control their actions (well telekinesis to a certain point but in nowhere near actual mind control). So of course, Nora didn’t fear her powers.

I wish someone had validated Michael’s fears instead of brushing them away with a few words of you have no darkness or in Isobel’s case you aren’t like Jones/Noah. A person does not have to be evil or bad to misuse a power like mind control & for that misuse to have dire consequences. Can you imagine being able to make people do what you want them to do at any time? Even if your intent is to do good, it doesn’t mean it’s something that should be done or won’t have major consequences. Sort of like the ends justify means conversation between Jones and Liz. What is the line, do you recognize it and what’s to stop a person from inches towards the line and what happens if you cross it?

So, my wish for next season is for Michael like Max is given time to process what he has learned about himself and his powers. My wish is for Michael is to continue to struggle with when, how and if he should use the mind control power. That way even when faced with a racist sheriff that is holding a gun to his friends, he is careful, asks for consent and never takes advantage of this tremendous power. In addition, I do think it would be very interesting to continue to explore these powers and how they maybe could change a person? Take Max’s power to give and take away life force. He killed Noah and used that life force (and his own) to bring Rosa to back to life. Seems like a good exchange but ethically and morally having a person decide who lives or dies? And how would this all fit into religion with Dallas being a priest? These could make for some great conversations and strong character development. Fingers crossed we see some of it and not just get told in passing.

The music in the episode was amazing. The beginning with Nothing Else Matters and Jones is a tux… I mean… Also, the ending with the fight sequence, building the suspense, only for the reveal to be that Jones had wanted them all to come so he could trap Liz, Dallas, and Max along with Isobel and Michael (for extra leverage) in his mind. I’m confused about why everyone was sitting but Michael was standing? Is he able to move or is he able to resist his father’s mind control? I’m really looking forward to next week and for Team Human to come to the rescue (maybe).

Favorite lines of the episode:

Sanders to Michael: “You are just a pair of sad puppy dog eyes and a cowboy hat”

Jones to Team Alien & Liz: “Well, everyone seems a little tense” (LOL I love Jones!)

Dallas (or Isobel) writing on the wall to Jones: “KNOCK, KNOCK”

#roswell new mexico #michael guerin #liz ortecho #max evans #isobel evans #Dallas #Roswell season 3 #Roswell nm #walt sanders #rosa ortecho #my thoughts

[b0ttl3d-up-st4rs]

Well I'm gonna do what I do best and self reflect to an insane amount. This is probably gonna be a long post so buckle up.

To be honest my behavior for nearly the past year now is concerning to say the least. There's this little voice in my head that just desperately wants to get more and more hurt, more and more traumatized. Why is that? At first glance the negative approach could be to say its some sort of masochistic behavior and any negative repercussions as a result of this behavior is deserved, but I don't really think thats the case.

Self sabotage is a characteristic that can be exhibited in many mentally ill people and I am no exception. I think this behavior, of seeking to be hurt by grown men on the internet is partially self sabotage.

And I remember when I first started this shit show, I just wanted attention. Sounds mean to say, but craving attention is something the human soul desperately wants. And I was starting to feel some sense of self beauty but I didn't feel as though anyone around me was appreciating it so I tried to get attention from grown men because being showered in compliments and attention felt so good when my whole life I've never gotten any of that.

I think there's more too it, though. Looking back my whole life it's almost as if I've wanted to get hurt. In books I liked to sit around with the pain the characters felt. And its almost like I wanted to get traumatized. I've heard that people with trauma that they don't acknowledge is trauma or think its bad enough to be traumatizing seek put worse forms of trauma, in order to feel that pain is valid. And I think that's part of my issue too.

I do have unaddressed and repressed childhood trauma. I was given unrestricted internet at a young age and was exposed to the horrors of the internet. Nothing like straight up porn, but a lot of suggestive content. And in general being exposed to that caused me a lot of catholic guilt as I was raised catholic. I remember feeling like knowing these things were my fault. Many days I felt so guilty that I would pray to god to let me not wake up in the morning.

As a child I also questioned my religion a lot, which i think was traumatic in itself. Religion is a big thing. And as a kid I had a big issue knowing reality from fiction. Heck I still do. I remember as a kid my friend telling me that we were all demigods and one day we were going to run away to camp half blood. That the percy jackson books were real. It sounds stupid now, but I processed that as real and it was so stressful for me.

And I remember being 12 coming out as trans and as a part of the lgbtq community to my parents. They didnt react well. They said I was confused. My mom said I was both too young and too old to know. I fought a lot with my mom. And in general have a lot of unhappy memories from then. I was outed multiple times in my life.

My relationship with my parents still isnt good. My mom has a tendency to be toxic. I hate that I have to stay in the closet around my family its so painful. Like a month ago I mentioned the lgbtq community for the first time in years, asking my mom her opinions on it and if it changed since 2017, and it turned into her yelling at me and making herself a victim. It really hurt. I forgot how much it hurt.

I don't really have much of a relationship with my dad. We barely talk. Hes very emotionally distant. When I'm at my dad's house I sort of fend for myself. Its the exact opposite at my moms house. She's overbearing and never leaves you alone. It's like going between to extremes.

And honestly I can't wait to move out. My mom and I have arguments a lot. But hey at least I have some relationship with her, I don't really have a relationship with my dad.

I remember one time this year, I was during the end of a school semester. I needed to catch up on work because after talking to my abuser for like 5 months and then unlocking him I was left in shambles and fell into a really bad depression to where my motivation for school just disapeared. Im still dealing with that tbh. Anyways I had to go to a online meeting to choose my classes and I didn't get to choose the classes I thought I would be able to, and that made me really upset. But after the meeting I had to go to do am act of kindness (I chose picking up litter at a graveyard cause i like graveyards) for my school project but I was still distraught. If I was given some time to myself I probably wouldve been able to go without issue, but my mom wanted to go immediately. We argued. And when I got there I refused to leave the car because I felt so much like shit. We argued more. It was the worst argument I ever had. She even swore at me. Which she's never done before. And she ended up playing victim again. She does that a lot I guess. And doesn't really listen to my feelings. Whenever I try to communicate about my feelings with her it turns into an argument and she makes it about herself. So yeah our relationship isn't the greatest. And I think having mommy and daddy issues is a trauma in itself. Ppl deserve to have happy healthy supportive families.

Oh right and another trauma I completely forgot (funny how that happens) is when I was 14 and admitted to a mental hospital because I tried to off myself. It was so surreal and they forced me to learn how to make eye contact with people cause apparently thats "how they know im doing ok". Which is kinda fucked considering the fact I recently realized I might be autistic. And eye contact is literally so painful for me. It especially was back then. Anyways the place itself wasnt too bad but the feeling of being trapped overall sucks and being disconnected from the rest of the world isnt fun either. Also I dissociate all the time but I especially dissociated hard thru the whole experience. And sort of made myself into the perfect patient, repeating all their bs and literally lying to myself to convince myself that I was ok so they would let me go. So that was kind of weird.

Anyways I know I have it better than others. And honestly sometimes it's hard to tell what exactly was traumatic in my childhood. I probably forgot and repressed other parts of it too and am forgetting things. But needless to say these unaddressed traumas didn't help my mental state. And i do think that's a big part of the voice in my head begging me to just get hurt more.

Overall my mental state is fucked, It's been really hard for me not to be taken advantage of by another internet pedo. Heck the only reason that isn't happening rn is because no ones dmed me yet. Also I unblocked my old abuser and we are talking again now so thats fun. It definitely doesnt help the cognitive dissonance in my brain of him being actually a nice and supportive dude. I think thats also a part of me wanting to get more traumatized. Since my abuser is a nice person that should counteract all the fucked up sexual things he said to me in the past right? I mean others have it worse, had worse abusers that were actively cruel. That's part of the bitch in my subconscious brain talking. It sucks tbh.

Anyways yeah I probably need therapy but I don't feel comfortable talking about this to my current counselor and honestly its really hard to say out loud. I can talk forever about it by writing it down but the moment I speak words from my dumbass mouth I break down in tears and can't do it. Plus idk, I'm scared if I say anything she'll have to tell my parents and that my phone might be taken away or I'll have less privacy and for a closeted queer where my only current life line is the internet and my online friends: that is a terrifying idea. Idk. I'm fucked basically.

#long post #like long long post #rambling #tw csa #tw grooming #tw suicide attempt #vent #ramble #oof #yeah #mine #actually traumatized #trauma #autistic #depression #ptsd #c ptsd #maybe i dont fucking know #dissociation #traumatized #derealization #depersonalization #online csa #rip to me i guess lmao

[ks-caster]

The 100 Season 7 Episode 4 - Post-Liveblog Recap

Okay, so I liveblogged an episode for the first time - and it turned out to be a nice way to stay focused through the commercial breaks. Might continue to do that for the rest of the season.

But TBH I started doing it just so I could bitch about the CLEAR AND BLATANT LACK OF A SCENE WHERE SANCTUM!KRU REALIZE THAT BELLAMY AND ANOMOLY!KRU ARE MISSING. That was an important scene that the whole fandom, more or less, has been waiting for the entire time for various reasons. 

How do the characters react? Who figures out that something’s wrong first? Does Clarke sense Bellamy’s absence because they have a bond? Does Emori go looking for her space sister to comfort her other space sister only to find her missing? 

(Actually, she does. That’s my headcanon and I’m sticking to it. Might fic later. Accounts for Emori’s complete absence while her bestie Raven is falling apart.)

Edit: here's the fic!

Anyway, back to the episode - whoever was in charge of editing really really dropped the ball. Missing realization scene, poorly ordered Raven and Clarke scenes. The music during the Dev-and-Hope montage was a nice touch but just too loud enough that I really had trouble telling what they were saying - and the pacing would have felt better with just one show of teenage!Hope before we got 20-year-old her. The cut from Orlando agreeing to train Anomaly!Kru to 5 years later was WAY too abrupt for me to get a feel for the character and relationship development that they were trying to shoehorn in in order to create conflict at the end. I got where they were going with everything, but in a I’m-reading-a-newbie-writer’s-fanfic-because-I-love-the-story-concept-and-want-to-support-them kind of way and not in a I’m-watching-a-show-made-by-experienced-professionals-and-paying-for-the-privilege-in-ad-revenue kind of way. Disappointing.

Jumping around here for a bit: I gotta say I’m loving the makeovers this season! Hair and makeup did a great job on bringing back the old Raven without losing the maturity they gave her, giving Murphy and Emori their Gucci Royalty Vibes without losing the feel of their individual styles, and making Hope look like she can’t find quite the balance between feral forest girl and innocent shut-in who can’t bear to take a life (which is accurate to her character, of course). 

And Echo! So I really, really didn’t like her makeovers in seasons 5 and especially 6, because it felt like they were trying too hard to make her look pretty in a 21st Century kind of way. She looked softer, more vulnerable, which really contradicted her character traits - but I thought that might’ve been on purpose, to show a change in her (that she did indeed allow herself to become softer and more vulnerable for her family). And her post-time-skip (not that one. Or that one. The other one. There’s a lot of those. Bah.) look feels like a return to herself; she’s beautiful but in a no-nonsense, don’t-forget-I-can-cut-your-throat kind of way. (Is this because I just really love the butch look on woman and am myself a butch woman? Maybe. But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.)

Side note: Where the hell did they get clippers on Penance? Those haircuts were entirely too even to have been done with scissors. I’ll buy that Gabriel and Orlando shaved their heads and their perfect round cuts were growout, but Hope and Echo? Electric clippers. Like I said I like the looks, but guys, there’s no way.

I liked that I got a better feel for Hope’s character this episode - she’s trying so hard to be like her mom and Aunty O and all the heroes they told her about when she was a child, but the truth is she’s been in one real battle, she froze, and her best and only friend died. And since her only role models were these incredibly strong people who didn’t give up, back down, hesitate, that wouldn’t be an easy thing for her to get over. (Given that Diyoza was pregnant with her for two entire seasons, I’d really like to have more time developing Hope’s character - or even the same amount of screen time but go easier on the timeskips, lol. She keeps having growth/maturity/life experience spurts so it’s hard to keep up with the development that we’re shown.

So, 5 (7? Wasn’t she 22? There’s still 2 years we missed right?) years after watching her friend die, and 5 (7?) years of blaming herself for freezing, she’s put into the same position, and she stabs some lady in the neck. Kid didn’t steal her coping mechanisms! All joking aside thought, the kid basically relived her trauma in real life - honestly her reaction was 100% valid.

I’m sure I’m supposed to be upset by Echo’s choice to kill the remaining gold-head people. But I think the only reason that’s supposed to bother me is that she promised (ish - she was real explicitly clear that she’d do what was necessary to rescue Bellamy and them were the breaks) Orlando that she wouldn’t. I think I’m supposed to care about the fractured relationship between AnomalyKru and Orlando.

I don’t. I don’t know if it’s the super-fast timeskip (it was weird enough to see the changed dynamics in SpaceKru when I deeply knew all of the characters AND we got time to see the changes play out) or the fact that I didn’t really get to know Orlando in a way that made me super sympathetic to him (I’ll get to that in a minute) or if it’s just that he was smart enough to know he was being played from the start (see Navy SEAL mom didn’t teach you how to swim and Echo again being 100% clear that killing people might still happen) and walked right in anyway. Either way, his betrayal wasn’t enough of a motivator for me as an audience member to be bothered about how things ended between him and AnomalyKru. I kind of shrugged and moved on.

More on Orlando... So The 100 has had several plotlines that center around people doing dangerous, terrible and downright ridiculous things because of their religions; see the kidnapping and conclave of freaking children killing each other to become commander, Gaia’s whole character arc + starting a new religion around Octavia/WonKru betraying that religion to go back to their old one centering on Madi, WHO IS GODDAMN TWELVE, all of Sanctum and season 6, the Sanctum conflict here in season 7, and now this goddamn Bardo Disciple shite.

Now I’m not dishing on real life religion or religious people - I happen to have one of those myself - but the plot of some-people-take-their-religion-way-too-far-drink-the-koolaid-and-hurt-people-around-them has been done and done and done on this show. And now here we have Orlando, who was a high-ranking member of his religion, drank the koolaid, cast out, still a true believer and therefore dangerous because his perspective is fundamentally skewed. I don’t know anything about this religion but that it’s militarized (they can arrest people) and think that sentencing people to 10 years of madness-inducing Geneva Convention violations and then bringing them back to their families two days later is okay. I don’t really want to know anything else, because I’m worried that the show is going to work hard on making this religion scarier than the Sanctum one (needing to one-up themselves with the big bad, of course) which just keeps making the commander religion look humane in comparison. 

Which it wasn’t. But I digress.

So Orlando was kinda’ cool, but getting in too deep with a fundamentalist who was complicit in his own abuse by said religion (and so who knows what he thought was okay to do to other people) and then it ended badly.

Cue shocked Pikachu.

Moving on. Clarke. Baby. After the harrowing experience of the radiation destroying the radio so you couldn’t say goodbye to your mom when you were supposed to go to space, then missing your time window and getting left behind on Earth, and the radio broke them too so you couldn’t even be sure your friends would leave in time until they blasted off, and then calling Bellamy every day when you knew he couldn’t hear you, and ALL OF THE FREAKING LAST SEASON WHERE YOU WERE POSSESSED AND WOULD HAVE GIVEN ANYTHING TO LET YOUR FRIENDS AND DAUGHTER KNOW BOTH THAT THAT WASN’T YOU AND THEN LATER THAT YOU WERE ALIVE and THEN your MOTHER getting possessed and you had to check to see if it was really her and it WASN’T. Clarke. 

After all that terrifying inability to communicate.

You leave Gaia behind to warn everyone of the danger. INSTEAD OF CALLING THEM ON A PIECE OF HANDY TECHNOLOGY OR TAKING A QUICK TRIP BACK YOURSELF. TO TELL YOUR DAUGHTER WHERE YOU WERE GOING. YOU DON’T THINK THAT MAYBE MAKING EXTRA SURE THAT EVERYTHING GETS COMMUNICATED CLEARLY AND IMMEDIATELY MIGHT BE A PRIORITY.

And then Gaia gets kidnapped. Honestly, cool! Not ‘cause I’m rooting for Gaia to be hurt (I don’t care all that much about her tbh) but I LOVE Indra and I want her to have more screen time and development this season - and or the chance to cut people up with her sword - and kidnapping her daughter seems like a great way to facilitate that.

*Looks at list* Oh, right, Jordan. I forgot you were here. Honestly I can’t figure out what the fuck is going on with you, and since I’ve had a whole season of not connecting with you because the story was too busy focusing on external plot... I don’t see that changing any time soon buddy. Sorry.

Oh and that FrEaKiNg PrOmO! 

My garbage boy! My chaos gremlin! My excellent-at-impersonating-a-deity-even-if-it-goes-against-his-programming! What are they doing?! 

I’m torn between NO DON’T HURT HIM and YES HURT HIM BECAUSE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND BRAVERY BWAHAHAHA. At least I know there’ll be Murphy and hopefully Memori content in the next episode. That’s the good shit. It’s the only thing left about this show that still feels “pure,” not that I didn’t know what sort of darkness I was signing up for when I started but just because he and Emori are sort of the last light in the darkness, and it’s nice to get a break periodically.

#The 100 #The 100 season 7 spoilers #the 100 7x04 #saltblogging #kind of #I enjoyed each individual set of scenes in the way that I would enjoy loosely connected oneshots #but all together... #damn #that was a li'l bit of a mess #Bellarke kind of #echo kom spacekru #emori kom spacekru #Orlando the 100 #gabriel santiago #clarke griffin #gaia the 100 #indra the 100 #long post #i wrote this on my laptop #and then looked at it on my phone #and damn

[your-turn-to-role]

So I just got round to watching ep 75, and god, I’m in love with the way Caduceus talks about religion? Because it’s potentially the only story I’ve seen where a character’s spiritual beliefs resonate with my own, and also it fits really beautifully into the story as a whole.

Overwhelmingly when people talk about gods, at least in stories, they all come from the same sort of concept. It’s the general understanding that gods are all powerful beings. Some people want to serve these beings, some people are afraid of them, some people feel these beings created the universe and thus own it, some feel protected by them, some scorn their very existence. But however you feel about it, it’s generally understood in these sorts of settings that gods are beings of power beyond comprehension, that rule over a certain domain.

And that’s sort of where Fjord is coming from here, too. He sees that gods grant people power, has heard stories of the various gods and everything they’ve done. He’s dealt with Uk’otoa, knows how those kind of deals work. He’s going into this expecting a being, something with a personality and goals, something that may be feared or bargained with or trusted depending on who you are, but by and large, something much more powerful than he is.

But that’s not really how the Wildmother works. I haven’t listened to enough of campaign one to speak for that too, but at least in campaign two, that’s not how any god we’ve seen works. Melora isn’t a deity of nature, she is nature. That’s what Caduceus means when he says he talks to her all the time, every word out of his mouth is talking to her, because everything is nature. Sure, she has magic, and a voice, but so do most things, more things than we often realise. We’re not talking about an all powerful woman, we’re talking about life given to the very concept of every tiny piece of the universe that all moves as one.

There were a lot of really good Caduceus quotes in this episode. We’re really getting to the heart of who he is, and two of the big themes around him have been the interconnectedness of all things, and the fact that if you need proof to have faith, it's not faith.

The Clays are connected to the Wildmother, and also to the Raven Queen, and through that to all the gods. Caduceus serves nature, and by serving nature he serves life, and also death, and through that knowledge, and civilisation, and magic, and stories, and so on. He has a very strong concept of destiny, and he trusts in what the Wildmother wants, but he knows that equally she trusts him. What Fjord doesn’t seem to grasp is that Caduceus having faith in her and Caduceus having faith in himself are the same thing.

Because that’s how divine intervention works. And not just in this story, this concept comes up a lot when it comes to religions, but people have a hard time grasping it, because again, they expect an all powerful being to intervene. There is no all powerful being to intervene, just the pieces of that god’s domain working together. And the biggest pieces are people. People affect change. People are the intervention. We serve the gods by making our own destinies.

Which then relates back to the whole game they're playing, because like... people have made jokes that by Taliesin creating Caduceus he's made a character that can basically say "let's go this way bc it's where the DM wants us to go" without metagaming, and that has an element of truth to it, but at the same time, Matt's not writing this story.

Matt's making a world for them, and guiding their hands a little, sometimes, but its their choices that define it. And sometimes things happen outside of their control. Molly's death was entirely unplanned and just a combination of various bad outcomes, but it also became a pivotal point in the story that has defined so much after it, and without it Caduceus wouldn't even exist to say this.

Which is how this stuff goes, and defines perfectly the influence the gods have on the world. Sure, they create it, sure, they can cause problems for players sometimes, but they're not the ones moving this story. All the power is in the players' hands. (Honestly, the way Taliesin has folded so much game meta into his deep rooted ideas on religion absolutely delights me, this works all the way down)

Which comes back to why I like it. Because my problem with religion was always that as soon as you give the world to the gods it stops being your world.

If you say all of these facets of nature belong to specific people, you hand the power of that thing to those people. And that's why people rebel against it a lot, what fuels a lot of angry atheism, because they don't want beings like that to have that power, and honestly that's perfectly valid of them.

And I like the concept of there being gods in the world. Everything in this world is so interconnected, I feel like there has to be, not in the traditional sense of the word god, but just in that force that keeps things running. Because really, what is an ecosystem if not just a vast living being?

But it's not my job to protect it, or to serve it, or to fear it. I can't affect change on that massive a level, no one can. It can't do it itself either, except in the sense that each part within it moves at its own pace, in its own way, to affect change. Caduceus has also said that his role as a follower of the Wildmother is to give gifts, both to her and from her. And I think that's a nice way of looking at it. I bring gifts to the world with every decision I make and every goal I work towards, because that's how it functions. And if I ask the sky a question and it responds with the wind swirling around my feet, if I'm in a bad mood but it starts raining and I feel better, if a good song comes on the radio at the right time, those are gifts back.

And sometimes that puts me in the right place at the right time to help people and some people could call that divine intervention and they'd probably be right, and the path that led me there was mine, because of my faith that that would happen.

This is what Caduceus is trying to grant to Fjord. The power to walk his own path. Fjord’s entire character arc has been centered around the fact that he, at his core, does not know who he is. Fjord knows who he can be, is excellent at molding himself to become someone else, but he, as a person? He doesn’t know his history, he barely knows his interests, he definitely doesn’t know what he wants. Every goal he’s had has been to try and learn more about himself and the situation he’s in. And so far, he’s defined himself by his circumstances, and his use to other people, which is why he’s flailing now. The safety net of “I know I am worth something to these people for as long as they can use me” is gone. He needs a strength that doesn’t come from an external source.

Fjord thinks that by Caduceus doing all this, Caduceus is trying to make Fjord a Wildmother cleric. Caduceus isn’t doing anything of the sort. Fjord thinks that if he chooses a god, they’ll grant him powers. That’s not a deal that can be made, not with any good entity. Fjord thinks that the Wildmother needs a reason to accept him. Fjord doesn’t realise that she’s already made her offering.

Caduceus does, because Caduceus is the offering. Fjord needs help in knowing who he is, so she sends him a friend with a +9 to insight. Fjord needs faith in himself, so Caduceus teaches him what faith is actually about. And he’s learning, even if he hasn’t realised it yet. If faith needs proof, it isn’t faith. Fjord doesn’t have any proof right now that he has any worth to the team. But he stuck with them anyway. And they’ve accepted him, and he’s continued helping them, even though he doesn’t believe he’s capable.

And he does have strengths, which is what the two of them are on this mission to find out. Everyone’s expecting Fjord to multiclass, but Fjord’s not at the point yet where he can make that decision. He’s viewing the gods as a menu, waiting for someone to tell him the right thing to choose. But the strength comes with the decision. He’s not going to magically gain new powers. But when he decides on his next path, when he’s ready to commit to it, with faith it won’t fail, that’s when he’s going to gain the ability to see it through

(And, to go back to the whole “Taliesin how the fuck have you wrapped this perfectly into game mechanics holy shit” thing, that’s exactly how it’s going to work, because he’ll multiclass when he’s ready, and gain the benefits of whatever he chooses next)

#critical role #critical role meta #c2e75 #fjord #caduceus clay #the wildmother #melora #cr thoughts #text #meta #cr2 #cr spoilers

[incarnateirony]

From what I understood in the interview with Hermes, he's really old and didn't even come from Egypt, and that's also not necessarily his real name, just the one he liked the most. And he mentioned Jesus and the Christian God, that must be a complicated relationship. I wonder if they aren't all concepts created by humans, our collective unconsciousness, that developed inteligence over time. There could even be multiple versions of all of them. Is American Gods on the right track?

When it comes to old gods, yeah. When I quoted that article, I also linked it, and even mentioned good old belphy’s famous line,

But citing the website I dropped prior,

“ Meanwhile, you guys on Earth are all like, “Oh, Hermes is younger than Apollon.” Like its a fact. Like I wasn’t some Proto-Indo-European god of Penises and Serpents and outcroppings of stone long before anyone was ever speaking Greek. “

[...]

“Sometimes, they’d put just a dick. You know, if they didn’t have time to carve a whole dude. Because everyone would know that it was me. I am not a god of the phallus, I am THE god of the phallus. I am the motherfucker with THREE goddamn dicks, one for each “path.” “

--Interview with Hermes

Now the point you raise is valid, and something I ask in the way of “The Chicken or the Egg.” And, quite literally, even SPN itself is asking this question, even if the audience isn’t locking onto it yet.

God made man, but man forefathered god, and god made the pagan gods, but the pagan gods surrendered the world to God?

No, it isn’t a plothole, it’s a timeless debate. And SPN, as a humanistic gestalt, seems to be slowly answering it in world with “man is the forefather beyond the allfather.”

There is a glory in creation greater than the Logos, something that just is, and was, and was waiting to be born, as Chuck and Amara just Were, Uncreated and eternal, timeless and formless and only given to form in the world. Something complicated even to him, that he can neither create nor destroy.

Weird time to dip into SPN meta, I know, but at the same time it gives me ways and “avatars” to frame this into that people can sort of understand. 

Hermes: Hah. You’re funny. Look, Thenea, when you have some time, go read up on the anthropology of the situation. There is no myth that tells about how Hekate came to Athens from Asia Minor. You will also not learn, from reading Greek mythologies, which of our gods and goddesses came to us from Northern Africa and which were originally Minoan. However, if you study anthropology, it becomes very clear that things are very much a part of the true facts of history. Cosmogonies are meant to reflect something a bit more philosophical. They symbolically state a cultural (or personal) opinion about how the universe really works.

Here is how a pantheon actually comes together.

First deity: “Shit. My people were conquered and my religion just blowed up. I’m out of a job”

Second deity: “Me too.”

Third deity: “Hey, you look like that Lightning God the mortals in that place over there are telling stories about.”

Two deities at the same time: “We’re lightning gods too, though!”

Third deity: “Well, shit. You, on the left, you’re better looking. Best you be in charge.”

First deity: “Screw you! I’m bigger than all of you!”

Second deity: “Whatever. You’re a thug. Go rule the sea.”

First deity: “What? I’m a god of paternity!”

Second deity: “Paternity’s moist. That’s very similar.”

So when it comes to it, the anthropology makes a lot of the story sharing clear as for where they come from, get multiculturally adapted into, or malignantly stolen and demonized even.

Hell, do people know the word “demon” comes from daimon, which was originally a helpful tutelary spirit, and that christian culture has completely mainlined it into the RAR RAR RAR HORNS AND POINTY TAIL idea we have now?

It’s more a matter of agenda on that front--what and why someone is framing a hero or villain narrative, and how they’re rewriting history. Let’s look at the way the north and south of the US sees the civil war and the confederacy. The south has spun up a complete AU with Lost Cause doctrine and left monuments to literal traitors being venerated, but it’s completely printed into the bones of the people in the region. Someone’s always rewriting history.

But beyond that, there IS the chicken or the egg debate on who-spawned-what-when. Even in gnostic doctrine, which routinely debates the order of cosmogenesis, there’s no singular belief, or as the same Hermes interview puts it,

Hermes: First of all, don’t believe everything you read. A “Greek Cosmogony” is just the writings of some Greek person trying to figure out the way the world started. Every writer has his own ideas. Of all of those writers, though, I’d actually be most inclined to believe Empedocles. I wasn’t there, obviously, at the beginning of the world, but I knew the guys who wrote those cosmogonies, and Empedocles was the cleverest, by a long shot.

Thenea: Not Hesiod?

Hermes: Goddamnit, Hesiod was a loser. Never listen to a guy who gets swindled out of his inheritance by his brother about how the world works. The guy had no clue how to navigate the politics of physical reality, never mind metaphysical reality.

Thenea: What about Orpheus?

Hermes: Look, Orpheus was a nice guy. Largely, still is. But taking it up the ass from Dionysos doesn’t make you a mystic. Again, if he had some clue about how any sort of reality worked, he’d be chilling with Euridike in the Bahamas right now, and not in six hundred pieces in the back of a freezer in somebody’s house on Olympos.

Thenea: Dionysos kept Orpheus in a freezer???

Hermes: Well, no. I meant that rhetorically. Actually, he’s doing ok for himself, but my point stands. He had no idea how to handle Dionysos, forget the  Protogenoi.

Thenea: What about Alcman?

Hermes: The cosmogony he was commenting on was destroyed. Want to venture a guess as to why? Plus, he was a Spartan. If it isn’t on the origins of how to stab a guy in the face, don’t ask a Spartan about histories.

Truth is, none of these guys were there at the start and neither was I, but really, if you observe and think hard enough, you’ll get at the important truths. Empedocles was that kind of guy.

He put it really well: Love and Strife are the two principle forces driving all things. Things come together, things fall apart. The rest is commentary.

Your guess is as good as mine is as good as theirs.

[eldritchsurveys]

957.

5k Survey LIV

2751. What's the most interesting assignment you ever had in school? >> I’m not sure. I hope people realise that my last moment in any kind of school was in December of 2005 (and my last moment in high school was June of 2004). I can barely be arsed to remember anything from 15 years ago unless it’s trauma-related. 2752. What's the most interesting thing you ever had to do for work? >> I thought working as a merch seller for local bands was very interesting. I had a lot of fun. 2753. Do you feel: insignifigant? unable to evoke change? like one person can't change the world? like one life and one person's suffering doesn't mean very much? If you answered yes to any of those can you describe why in detail? >> I, personally, feel insignificant fairly often, but that doesn’t extend to thinking that other people are also equally insignificant.  2754. Do you feel like you could contribute as much to society as ____ has? Albert Einstein: Abe Lincoln: Franz Kafka: Jesus Christ: >> Just because I already have self-esteem problems doesn’t mean I’m going to sit here and consciously make “do you have as much worth as these people” comparisons. 2755. Are you aware that your brain is the same size as Albert Einstein's brain? Do you realize that you have the same number of hours in a day as Abraham Lincoln? Did you know that Franz Kafka wrote all of his amazing litterature during his lunchbreaks at work? Did you know that we are all made of matter and that you are made of the Same Thing that Jesus was made of? Do you still believe that you couldn't contribute as much to society as they did? If yes than WHY? >> This is an immensely irritating line of questioning, I hope it’s over now.

2756. Is your mind in the gutter? >> My mind is not in the gutter. 2757. What do you have to complain about? >> Whatever I want to complain about. 2758. Do you remember rock n' roll radio? >> ... Yes? Pretty sure it still exists, regardless. 2759. Is there such a thing as a food that you burn more calories from digesting than you actually absorb from it? >> I don’t know, try google. 2760. Hey, if you've gotten this far than you and me go way back. We've been hanging out for a while now and I gotta know..do you like me? >> --- 2761. What are you doing, Dave? >> --- 2762. As far as love goes do you feel it is better to become complete before looking for someone or find someone who completes you? >> People are already complete, despite however they may feel about themselves. I don’t understand what it means to look for someone who “completes you”, that sounds immensely absurd to me. So I guess I can’t really answer this question except to say “I don’t think people should be thinking about relationships in these terms...” 2763. What attracts you about the opposite sex (or same sex, or both sexes)? >> --- 2764. Do you need people or do you not need anyone? >> Of course I need other people. The fact that I have an attachment disorder is a direct result of my inherent need for other people’s love and support going repeatedly ignored. Even besides that, I need other people to physically survive, because that’s how ecosystems work, and believe it or not, we are still part of nature and beholden to its cycles and systems. 2765. Is selfishness always bad? Is selflessness always good? >> No. 2766. Do you feel like your life is being controlled by a power structure? >> Of course certain elements of my life as a social creature are controlled by power structures. 2767. Can you name three things in society that send the message that being completely yourself and that looking inside yourself and contemplating what's within is a good thing? >> Sigh. 2768. Can you name three things in society that send the message that materialism and the accumulation of stuff is a good thing? >> The entirety of capitalism. 2769. What is more important, a picture or it's frame? What is more important, spirituality or religion? >> These questions truly do get more baffling as time goes on. 2770. How many definitions can you come up with for the wword 'fuck'? >> I don’t have to come up with definitions, google is right there. 2771. Is it less offensive when a black person says Nigger than when a white person says it? Why or why not? >> The context in which a Black person says it is often a far different context from the one in which a white person says it. So, yes. It usually is less offensive by default, unless the Black person being addressed is uncomfortable with the word even when used in a friendly context. 2772. Do you rationalize often? >> Rationalise what? 2773. Do you believe that america is an imperialist nation? >> I mean, yeah. 2774. Would you agree that: hot topic is the new abercrombie? pink is the new black: you are the new you? >> *stares dully* 2775. Do you have more internet or real life friends? >> I only have Internet friends. 2776. What IS the feeding of 5000? >> The what?? 2777. What's an easy way to make money? >> I don’t know. 2778. What's your favorite slang word and what does it mean? >> I don’t think I have a favourite slang word. 2779. Are you uncomfortable? >> Slightly, because of noise issues. 2780. Is anything definate besides death and taxes? >> Taxes aren’t definite for everyone, but death certainly is. I don’t know what else is that predictable. 2781. Would you rather live fast and die young or live slow and die old? >> Living slow sounds nice to me. However it ends. 2782. Can you name 4 people who have committed crimes against humanity? How do you think they live with themselves? >> Probably, but I don’t feel like it. I don’t care how they live with themselves. 2783. If you could imagine, pure fantasy, any God you could concieve, how would you want God to be? >> I can imagine any god I want to imagine. It’s really not that hard, there are already so many to choose from, even if just to use as a template. 2784. do you think the smashing pumpkins have a strong christian theme? >> I don’t know, I’ve never paid a whole lot of attention to their lyrics. Their songs just sound pretty. 2785. Do you think this survey has a strong christian theme? >> I didn’t think that. I hope I won’t have cause to think it in the future. 2786. Fill in the blank for yourself" Give me ____ or give me death! >> --- 2787. Have you ever heard of the USA patriotism act? Apparently they have passed laws making torture legal. Also the FBI can sneak and peek into ANYONE'S home. They don't have to ask or even tell you they were there. This is already the law. So, whaddaya think? >> I mean, yes, I know that. I live here. 2788. The people in power step all over the average citizen, trying to secure all the power and money for themselves and leave us with no rights and under their control. They have the audacity to do this because they know that we will not lift a finger to stop them. Are they right? >> I don’t know if they’re right or not. I’m also not sure what the fuck powerful-ass finger you think we common folk all have. 2789. The Free State Project is a plan in which 20,000 or more liberty-oriented people will move to a single state of the U.S. to secure there a free society. They will accomplish this by first reforming state law, opting out of federal mandates, and finally negotiating directly with the federal government for appropriate political autonomy. They want to be a community of freedom-loving individuals and families, and want to create a shining example of liberty for the rest of the nation and the world. What's your opinion? Could this work? Why or why not? >> Didn’t a bunch of libertarians want to do this at some point? Anyway, I don’t know if this could work or not. I don’t know nearly enough about any of the elements involved to have an informed opinion about the feasibility of this kind of project. It does sound plenty audacious, though (and way too vague). 2790. Have you ever seen the Neverending Story? Remember when Bastian has to prove his worth by looking in that mirror where you see yourself the way you really are with no pretenses, rationalizations or mental lying? Could you stand yourself if you looked into that mirror? >> I do remember that, vaguely. I wanted to rewatch this movie but then I didn’t get to it in time and HBO took it down :( Anyway, I don’t know if I could stand myself if I looked into a mirror like that. I can’t conceptualise what that experience would actually be like. 2791. What is soilent green? >> Oh, you know. (That’s another movie I’d like to rewatch, in fact.) 2792. What are you proud that you have never done? >> *shrug* 2793. What things are hopeless? >> *shrug* 2794. What Are People For? >> Making Soylent Green out of. 2795. What book do you feel could change someone's life? >> Any book could change someone’s life. 2796. Didja ever want to just walk up to the Bush administration and ask them, 'What the fuck?' >> No, I wasn’t really paying much attention to the administration during that time because I had a lot of personal issues taking up my immediate focus. But from what little I remember about it, it’d be a valid question to ask. 2797. How do you take your coffeee? >> Decaffeinated. 2798. Have you ever played: paintball? lazer tag? which is better? >> I’ve never played these. 2799. In what ways are you lucky? >> A lot of ways, I guess. A lot of fucked up shit has happened, but a fair amount of strangely fortuitous stuff has happened, too. Guess something has to even the other shit out. 2800. If Jesse Jackson wants reparations to be given to black people because he thinks that black people don't have equal opportunities in this country than why does he drive a Jaguar? >> “Black people don’t have equal opportunities in this country” is still a fact of life no matter what the fuck kind of car Jesse Jackson drives. Focusing on his personal “success” or whatever like that is just a diversion from the heart of the matter.

#surveys #survey #5000 question survey

[thebeauregardbros]

i keep seeing that meme abt like ‘how i intended to write them vs. how they ended up’ andn since im too lazy to draw im gonna ramble a lot abt that bc i crave . rambling

SO when Alus started out I basically had this concept;

1. Alus’ ultimate dream is to someday become a Paladin and help protect the people. He’s absolutely Lawful Good and trusts and believes in all governments and laws to be ultimately designed for the greater good, always, and has absolute faith in this ideology. 2. He’s obsessed with his own image. He wants the long hair, the pure white clothes, the white horse to ride on - He wants people to know that faerie tales are REAL and he’s there to protect people and save them when they need to be saved. He never swears, and ALWAYS smiles - even when he’s mad. 3. Alus speaks in shakespearian. 4. Alus is devoutly religious, specifically towards Nald’thal, which ties into the Lawful Good ideology. 5. A couple months after his creation, I decided he was a pacifist and refused to ever kill - only K.O.

NOW LET’S GET INTO HOW THAT GOT TRANSFORMED (in my opinion, in a good & interesting way)

1. Alus is no longer Lawful Good; He’s seen so much corruption within politics and government, mainly by the types that twist the rules for their own evil gain, or straight up lie, betray, cheat, and dishonor the system - he’s just absolutely DONE with that shit. He now only believes and trusts in himself and those individuals he deems worthy; He is no way a particularly distrusting person now, though, and always trusts a person by default until they’ve proven they cannot be trusted. This ideology actually spreads towards his enemies now more than ever, especially Garleans, while before he was quick to dislike and distrust them due to negative propaganda his government spread. 2. He absolutely got his wish!! Alus is the perfect image of a faerie tale prince. However, his attitude towards swearing has gotten a bit more relaxed, and he tends to fake a smile a lot less - It’s rare as hell, but when he gets fed up with someone he just KNOWS doesn’t care about listening to him no matter how hard he tries, he’ll just kinda go low-key apeshit on them via speech, and has no qualms showing them a big ol’ frown. He used to absolutely refuse to fight anyone without a just cause but nowadays he just kinda gives in to people’s obsessive need to test their mettle against him, and that tends to be where he shows his outright grumpiness the most. Alus is still a smiley kind elegant gentlemanly dude overall, but he’s a bit more honest now. 3. Ironically, he stopped speaking shakespearian for ages after Arc made fun of him, but now speaks it again??? 4. yeah uh alus doesn’t give a fuck about the organized religion for the twelve anymore. I think his dislike of Nald’thal’s church started to spring up once he realized how corrupt Ul’dahn politics were and how they try to use religion to manipulate people. Alus believes that generosity towards the less fortunate as a means of getting into heaven is still a valid belief that he should honor in the name of Nald, and he still prays to Thal that those he slays be given mercy in the afterlife, but he won’t do it for some oversized church. He also pretty openly hates Halone and doesn’t respect those who worship her. I think he quietly worships Nald’thal, Nymeia, and Nophica in his own ways, far away from any organized form of their worship. 5. Pacifism is just a bit too difficult to do in accordance to the lore in the world of Eorzea, I think, which personally as a writer makes me pretty disappointed - But hell, it’s a Final Fantasy game, death is the main mechanic as it is in most games. I think Alus is very much in accordance to the tvtrope “Technical Pacifist” now; Deaths happen, but they’re never by his exact choice between life and death within a moment. Alus just does the most efficient thing to complete his goal in battle - usually to stop someone from hurting others - and if that happens to come along with a death out of a lack of carefulness on his part, so be it. I think in actual storyline this evolved from Alus getting fucktons of scars doing this impossibly difficult deed and he now takes better care of himself. I think it’s a sad resolution but also the most reasonable one, whether it’s in a realistic setting or a final fantasy one.

#alus beauregard #meme

[bidrums]

Something about episode 4 that bothered me that I really need to get off my chest

So @strangesurvivals​  has really good posts about this that honestly made me realize that was exactly what bothered me and they are very put-together posts, so if you want something that’s not as rambling as mine, go check it out. Check it out regardless of what I put on here, because it’s a great blog and they deserve love and attention.

Here’s what rubbed me the wrong way: the stupid Warlock school subplot and the concept of the Alpha.

In a post I made with my general thoughts on the episode, I mentioned that I thought it was interesting about the concept of Supreme vs Alpha but followed it with saying I wasn’t about to start discourse.

Well, I retract that statement and am going to start discourse.

I’ll probably be crucified for saying that Coven wasn’t my favorite season, but it wasn’t. I love the concept and absolutely adore the characters and agree that the season kicked some serious ass, but I couldn’t really jam with the plot. I don’t know why, since I’ve watched and read very similar things, but I just couldn’t really get into it. Sorry. Even though it wasn’t my favorite season, I definitely screamed when they appeared and loved all the scenes they were in. Because they're characters that I love and actresses that I love, and I knew that would up the stakes more than they were already upped.

And then the plot happened.

I make fun of the fact that it started out like Harry Potter with Michael being recruited, but then Ryan took the Chosen One concept a bit too far and decided to call it the Alpha. And I just, no. Just no. No, don’t do that. Don’t do that to Michael. He’s already the Antichrist. That’s more than enough of a role to fill, and he doesn't need some Harry Potter/Star Wars magic Chosen One that’s destined to defeat the Ultimate Evil (TM) on top of being the Antichrist. It’s unnecessary and it took away from that subplot for me. It felt lazy, it felt forced, it felt contradictory, it just lessened the impact of the Antichrist plot and Michael’s harnessing of his powers. At least, the way Ryan did it. I’ll get back to that.

So Michael Potter Skywalker is taken to a magic school to develop his Amazing Magic Powers because something happens that tells The Powers That Be that he’s Super Powerful- more than any of them. Only one of those Authorities is suspicious and hesitant to take this person is because he can smell Big Trouble because This Kid Ain’t Right. But everyone laughs off Cheyanne Yoda Jackson because holy fuck he pulled some Exorcist shit then curled up in a ball crying on the floor he must be The One With The Ultimate Power (TM) we must take this emotionally unstable child in and harness his magic because absolutely nothing will go wrong with taking him in and teaching him to control his crazy strong magic that manifests himself in murder. Cheyanne Yoda Jackson is just being paranoid, he only impaled a guy with multiple knives and blew a guys head up. He may have Much Anger In Him and acts in a way that looks like he’s Demon Possessed, but have you seen his Midichlorian count? We have to bring him in because he might be able to destroy the Sith and bring Balance to the Force and finally dismantle the ever-present fear of Voldemort’s Reign of Terror! Stop being a spoilsport and train him like the rest of us, it’ll be fine! Oh, and we won’t help him adjust to his power gradually in order to make up for the years of training he lost in order to give him the same foundation everyone else has and the skills and trust of the System to not be reigned by his unstable emotions and Much Anger In Him. Nah, throw him in the deep end headfirst, he’ll be fine. In fact, we’ll raise our expectations and push him harder than everyone else and tell him his Destiny from the beginning so he has all this pressure on him. There’s no way he’ll lash out and have a sense of entitlement.

Now, who are The-Sith-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named that oppress the poor, defenseless Warlocks? The rest of humanity? That was in Coven, and it would be interesting to have a Magneto-type background that ties into his disgust at humanity and proves his “evil motherfuckers” point. Is it the Humans? It’s not? Who is it?

The Witches, of course! Those Nasty, Horrible Women who use their Superior Woman Magic to press the poor defenseless Warlocks who just want to Be Equals and not be molotov cocktailed after those Stupid Women didn’t have the foresight to the potential consequences of trying to foster good relations with the Muggle World and being open about their Mutant status because they’re Mutants, and they’re Proud! We need an Alpha Male to save us from the Uterus! A Level Four! The Manliest Man in all of Manhood who will put those women in their place and take them down from their High and Mighty Egos. In Coven they had thinly-veiled metaphors for racism by having European vs Voodoo magic fights that tried to make us see that the Poor White Girls are just Misunderstood and Blissfully Ignorant that the Voodoo Community is just as Powerful and Valid as the rest of them! And they still have that in Apocalypse, but now they also have Gender Inequality in it, too! But like, not showing the tired, traditional Oppressed Women narrative that a lot of feminists tell. No, it’s the Refreshing alternate view that maybe, there are areas of life where Men are not on top? And that’s bad for them? It’s daring and bold and no one has ever proposed this idea ever! I’m so creative and revolutionary!!!

The Supreme title was interesting to me because there’s always the Head Witch or something like that. But Ryan gave her the title of Supreme, because the one to master all fundamental areas of magic has Supreme Magic that is more powerful. Which makes sense and is pretty refreshing to me, because it felt like an acknowledgement while over-glorifying the title. Because Supreme also sounds like a threat and a title everyone would fight over, so whoever has that title has to constantly watch her back because other people will try to take that for themselves. The title was forged in blood, and it’s a constant reminder of that. And the show does a great job showing how hard and how dangerous that title is. It shows work, it shows strength, it shows earning the title.

That is the complete opposite of the Alpha role. Level Four. Honestly I hate the fact that they rank the students with 4 levels because it’s honestly unhealthy competition in my opinion. But we’re focusing on the Alpha. It’s a stupid concept, it’s a stupid plot device, it’s a stupid mentality, it’s a stupid rank, it’s a stupid title. “But you’re a Christian, isn’t that hypocritical of you because you’re okay with calling God the Alpha?” Actually, that’s not His full title. The full title is the Alpha and the Omega- which is FUCKING GREEK FOR THE BEGINNING AND THE END AND IS A PRETTY ACCURATE TITLE FOR THE FUCKING CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE AND DON’T BRING MY RELIGION INTO THIS I AM NOT GOING TO SAY THAT AGAIN

Anyways, the Alpha thing and why it’s hella problematic. Its real-life counterpart is a hideous mentality that really messed-up men have that leads to entitlement issues that lead to violence- usually against women whose bodies they feel they are owed and believe that their superior “Alpha Male” status demands. Just, it doesn’t matter if that’s what he was imagining- which I doubt given the context- or not, the fictional Alpha Male trope and the real-word damage the Alpha Male mentality causes make this fictional title undesirable and uncomfortable. It also doesn’t imply the hard work that the Supreme title does. Like I referenced in my sarcastic rant, it’s why people hated the Midichlorian thing in Star Wars. I actually asked my dad if they were mad because it wasn’t referenced in the original trilogy. He said, and I paraphrase, “Partly. It’s the implications of them not mentioning it in the original trilogy that we have a problem with. When it first came out, the Force was something that everyone had and that some people were more in tune with than others. But it was in everyone, so everyone with the right training could become a Jedi. You might not be as powerful as the other Jedi, but you can be a Jedi or at the very worst, someone with cool Force abilities that can use the Force. Just not at the level of the Jedi. That was awesome because me and everyone else was saying, “I could be a Jedi! I could learn how to master the Force! Then Episode 1 came out and it said, nah, you can’t. It’s twitch muscles. You have it, or you don’t. Your DNA determines wether or not you can actually use the Force. Everyone has the Force, but you can’t be trained to tap into that power. It was like a slap in the face to the people who spent decades with the fantasy of training to be a Jedi. Since you haven’t had the time gap between movies, it’s less of an issue. But to us, it hurts a lot.” And that’s exactly what the Alpha does. It’s not that Michael is powerful and gradually shows the potential to be the Alpha then proves himself to be able to survive the grueling process to earn that status. It’s just that they see that he’s powerful (which I have no idea how impressive that footage is since we don’t have a great example of how weak everyone else’s magic is in comparison, imo) and assume that because he’s super powerful he’s The One. It just wasn’t as compelling to me as finding out about the Supreme. And yes, the witches do inherently have more magic and yes, the Supreme inherently has more magic, but it’s still like the Jedi. Not everyone is Force-Sensitive, so not everyone can be a Jedi; by extension, not all the Jedi can have the highest rank and there are many nuances and strengths of the people’s Force abilities. That’s something that I thought was interesting in Coven and was a bit disappointed that they didn’t play around with it more, but that’s not what this is about. I’m just showing how the Warlocks could have a similar Nuance even with their ranking system and could’ve had more of a parallel with the Witches.

But they didn’t.

Instead Ryan decided to have some weird social commentary about how women could be as bad as men and whenever they have some area where they’re better than men, they abuse that area and twist the narrative to make themselves the victims; in these areas, the men are now the ones who have to fight tooth and claw to get equal treatment. This is the standard “Women can be just as bad as men given the opportunity!” narrative that hurts legitimate activism to get men the same treatment in areas such as domestic abuse, where the statistics of male victims and the numbers of how they receive justice for it are much different than for women. There was a social study where two actors pretended to be a couple having an argument in public that gets violent, with one partner starting to get more and more physical and the other partner getting more and more in danger of being seriously hurt. When the woman was the victim, people rushed to her aid and got in between them and called him out on his behavior. When the man was the victim, a significantly less number of people did that, and most people laughed it off as the male being “whipped”- or, not filling the male role in the relationship. The power balance is suddenly funny when the woman has more power over the women. Now, I’m not going to go into that discourse, and you have my word on that. Domestic abuse is a horrific epidemic that both men and women face, and statistically women are the victims much more than men. But that doesn’t mean that when men are abused, it’s not that bad as when women are. And so when activist groups push for more awareness of this epidemic and trying to change the narrative of what domestic abuse looks like, we should listen and treat it seriously. But when narratives like the Witch oppression of the Warlocks being used to bring attention to “reverse sexism”- which is bullshit, btw- it lessons actual legit activism and make both activism for male issues and activism for female issues seem less important. Less serious. They become more of a joke and people overreacting than things of actual importance. And it’s just bad writing. There are way better ways to have a Warlock vs Witch narrative that Michael is involved in. Way better ways. Way better ways than “oppressed men might have someone who can overthrow the oppressive women because he’s more powerful and men might be able to reclaim their position of power”.

Honestly, I was mostly annoyed by this is that not only was Ryan- consciously or no- even doing it, but he was doing it where the men were just being whiny and had no real argument. They gloated at Cordelia and tried to provoke her by dangling Michael as “The One (TM) who would overthrow the Witches’ power over them” in front of her to try to get her angry. They act like her refusing to put him through the Seven Wonders is proof that she’s scared of being overthrown. Because cowards act like that. And that when she uses Misty and Queenie as examples of how she isn’t all powerful like they believe and to give examples of how dangerous the world of magic is and how just recklessly going forward can land them in trouble, they just scoff like she’s not really worthy of being the All Powerful and can you believe this chick? She walks around like she owns the place but she can’t even save one of her own kind from being perpetually held in Limbo for eternity with possibly thousands of other souls being held captive and suffering unimaginable things. Some Supreme. She can’t possibly think that’s a good reason to not do the test of the Seven Wonders.

Just- it’s really bad. It’s not a good way to even make this lazy writing a passable attempt. Cordelia telling them about how she tried to save Queenie once she found out she was dead in order- this is what I interpreted from that sequence- to help her pass on or come back to life was a great way to show her character. She’s empathetic, she’s protective, she actually cares about the people she’s supposed to be the authority over. And her regret over not being able to save Queenie hurts because she was supposed to watch over her and be able to protect her from something like that, but she couldn’t. And she is heartbroken because people she loves and cares about are casualties of a dangerous world and she’s helpless to stop those casualties. And when she refuses to let Michael do the Seven Wonders, it’s because she doesn’t want an innocent party that is being put on a pedestal to get killed. She fucking says that she doesn’t want to risk him dying and the fuckwads act like that’s a pathetic excuse!!!!! That was so infuriating for me because it was treated like Cordelia was being unreasonable by the characters and Ryan. I mean, in Coven the Seven Wonders was constantly hammered in as dangerous at every level, and as the stakes are raised, the more it’s hammered in, and the more people get hurt. There are actual consequences, and Cordelia witnessed it from the beginning to the end. So she knows that there’s an 87% chance that Michael will die, and she doesn’t want someone else to die in the process that killed her friends. And she gets more and more angry about people talking over her and ignoring all of her very solid arguments against this until she has no choice other than to give into their provocations and get angry, having to firmly shutting it down and ending it before someone gets hurt and when she gets questioned again, she snaps one of the greatest lines in the season and the show: “BECAUSE I’M THE FUCKING SUPREME!” And the men just look at each other like, “I fucking knew this bitch was too scared of being usurped to agree to our very reasonable proposal to take a vulnerable youngster who’s only just started to control his powerful and unstable magic and force him to go through a dangerous test he has a high chance of dying from just to soothe our wounded egos that we’re grooming several impressionable young men to emulate, women are so unreasonable” and I wanted to punch everyone in the face. 

So the thing I mentioned waaaaay earlier in this super-long post: the way Ryan was doing this lessened Michael’s character was done really badly.  Here’s an idea on how to go through a less-sexist conflict between the two covens that actually makes him more powerful:

Michael is powerful- more powerful than they’ve seen. Cheyanne Yoda Jackson still gets to be suspicious, and they are inclined to agree. After some debate, everyone except Warlock Yoda agrees that it’s probably powerful, unstable magic that is being handled by a teen with anger issues and an obvious propensity for violence. They can teach him to handle the magic and maybe to control his emotions. Everything’s the same until they do their tests. It’s still after a month or two, but this time it’s after he’s had time to adjust and had some basic rudimentary training that everyone has when they first start. They explain that everyone is evaluated at the beginning to get a feel for their magic, and Michael already seems to have some control of his powers. Not much, but it’s impressive considering how insane they are. They start with the mirror. He does it, and they share shocked glances. That’s something that a lot of people have trouble with after years of training. So they hesitantly do the teleporting. Flawless passing, more shock. Then they ask him to waterbed snow, and they have their happy moment before they almost freeze to death. They see how freaked out Michael is and tell him that he has super strong magic and when you push yourself like he did, it’ll get a bit out of hand. Just be more careful and they’ll talk about where to put him then get back to him, okay? Then they talk about how freaky it is that he can do this with little training, Magic Yoda is suspicious, they shoot him down with a lot of irony because Antichrist. Then one of them suggests that maybe, just maybe, they might be seeing a Male Supreme. Use the phrase, “Male Supreme”. It’s less stupid and worrying. There’s banter about how there hasn’t been a male version, it’s only been a woman, you know how many powerful Warlocks have died trying to do the Seven Wonders, he can barely control snow, you think he can come back from the dead? But then they agree and call the Council.

Most of the Warlocks’ bitterness towards the Witches stems from two places: 1) Fiona was a bitch and took her Supreme status to exert absolute control of the Council and 2) Cordelia just announced the existence of Mutants Witches and Warlocks without consulting the Council, a decision that they feel should have been unanimous. So there’s some banter about the Seven Wonders and Michael and she doesn’t want to hurt him because of how many powerful Witches and Warlocks have died and he sounds like he’s emotionally and magically unstable and he most likely will die. It also makes more sense for them to be snarky at her because of the above two reasons, and they can invoke Fiona’s name which will make those of us who are familiar with Coven squeal at the mention of Fiona and remember that yeah, that sounds in character, as well as having Cordelia react to the implication that she’s being the same sort of Supreme her mother was. Like, that has waaaaayyyyy less sexism and provides a great conflict between the two schools. It also has a less cliche Chosen One story arc shoved into Michael’s already-established “I’m the Antichrist” story arc and still shows just how powerful and scary he is.

Again, that’s my idea on how it could’ve been better. I just hate that the potential badassery of rivals schools was ignored to have Ryan Murphy pretend to be revolutionary and critical and thinking outside of the box when he’s really condoning a dangerous and sexist narrative that puts characters that are both potentially awesome and badass and established to be awesome and badass into weak storylines that destroy a lot of great character arcs and characteristics of everyone.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

#I NEED TO RANT #thank you for letting me rant #personal rant #strangesurvivals #ryan murphy #bad characterization #this had potential #the potential to be badass #so much wasted potential in this season #i didn't want this for my faves #they deserve better #just let michael be the antichrist #that's all the motivation he needs #he doesn't need to be the chosen one #just let him destroy shit #don't make him some underdog #make him a villain you cowards #god this was theraputic #i needed to get this off my chest #it bothered me #a lot #and now i can put words to it #it's relieving

[vardasvapors]

DRUNK LIVEBLOG OF THE AKALLABETH BC I PROMISED @rose-of-the-bright-sea​

Uh unfortunately i’m not too drunk since once again my job was to bounce everyone once the party ended but uhhh it is early morning and i’m still not asleep and i did just spend 5 hours dancing and doing shots so...

ANYWAY: first scene of the Akallabeth, remember how the edain were the only Men who fought against morgoth in the war of wrath etc, and when morgoth was defeated the Evil Men who fought for him ran away and conquered all the Stupid Men who were still living in the middle earth area and these men’s lives sucked and were constantly attacked by orcs and monsters and they were dumb and wild and stuff. this explanation is like 20 kinds of LMAO NARRATIVES but also not like, in a lying way, just in a framing way.

otoh the edain got given a giant island in the middle of the ocean as a reward for fighting against morgoth and stuff, osse and aule and yavanna did it. (valar: ‘have an island way out in the sea’ elros: ‘SOUNDS LEGIT’). meanwhile the elves of ME are long-sufferingly granted permission to come to tol eressea because their lives kinda suck. the difference in the tone of the edain’s gift and the elves’ gift is totally not noticed by the narrator but the fact that avallone was build on the eastern edge of tol eressea where it could be seen from numenor is. lol.

there’s this super gorgeous entrancing description of how earendil burned super bright so that he shone night and day and the edain followed him over the calm enchanted sea until they found the island of numenor -- andor the land of gift, elenna that is starwards. however we all know all this incredible rich storytelling stuff isn’t important compared to the tiny scrap of smugness that can be wrung out of making elros hate earendil and/or elves, bc everyone knows that no character’s narrative matters except the feanorians’.

elves of ME also brought all the edain to numenor and elves of tol eressea gave the edain a ton of tools and gifts and stuff to help build their new nation, but you know it’s fun to headcanon elros as a bitter chest-puffing supercilious self-satisfied little prick who finds these elves embarrassing and blinkered and their existence pitiful and tut-tuttingly Wrong. bc that makes sense and is woke for some reason.

the numenoreans became taller than all the sons of middle earth, not all the men of middle earth, so numenoreans are taller than elves. also they didn’t have a lot of kids, bc i guess population explosions on islands with almost no death outside of like 300 years of old age is a Bad Time.

also “and the light of their eyes was like the bright stars” hahahahahahahahaha lmao! kill me! lies down. does not get up.

WHITE TREE FRACTALS

the numenoreans are super cool and get to talk and visit with both elves of tol eressea and elves of middle earth, which seems to lead to the completely inescapable conclusion that numenor is a place where the peoples of all lands can pass messages to one another but this is never mentioned. the numenoreans could totally also have prob defeated the evil human kings of middle earth if they tried but they were totes peaceful -- at an undefined point in time. nice vague timeline blurring bruh.

instead they like, instructed the dumb middle earth men on how to grow grain and grind flour and make stuff out of wood bc uh i guess the middle earth men are too dumb to figure it out, for “the ordering of their life, such as it might be in the lands of swift death and little bliss” hahahahahaha this is the most condescending line in the entire silm it’s great.

then the numenoreans start getting dissatisfied with how they still gotta die and stuff. it’s vaguely described as being something to do with how even their long lives are still not as long as elves’ loves, but every time i read this it reminds me how pissed about mortality i’d be if my great-great-great-uncle who was totally allowed to choose to become immortal kept popping in to talk about how he got to see the cool millennia of my country’s history first hand and debate with my revered ancestral founding king. so.

however the numenoreans totally brush over these sorts of super compelling and sympathetic and valid points and instead just whine about how they’re A Bigshot Kewl Superior Race and HDU Say We Can’t Control Everything If We Wanna, 36 Presents? But Last Century I Got 37! because they’re fucking useless dumbasses.

The valar reply that Aman Will Not Make You Immortal, Yo, and also that elves being immortal and men being mortal aren’t rewards or punishments, which are reasonable points. they then go on to go ‘TBH shouldn’t WE be the ones envying YOU bc you get to peace out of this clusterfuck world, huh, huh whaddaya think about that. also btw the whole mortality thing is some Secret Plan To Fight Inflation eru came up with, and none of us will know it until you and a bajillion generations of your descendants are all dead, lol!!!!’ THANKS VALAR. THAT’S REALLY HELPFUL. GREAT JOB OF ACTUALLY ADDRESSING ANYTHING THE NUMENOREANS ARE BOTHERED ABOUT. KUDOS. i love dumb gods.

the numenoreans are super dissatisfied but instead of anything constructive the king decides to hold his breath and throw a tantrum stay king until he’s totally senile and his son is old, bc of spite, then numenor gets divided into the king’s men and the faithful. the faithful are also bleh about death but assume that the valar have some kind of good reason for what they said, because um, reasons, i guess. no one says if the reasons are more mindless dogma or more a grounding and strengthening faith, but since numenoreans sound like RL humans to a tee it’s probably both. the king’s men aren’t skeptics tho -- they just conquer and enslave and colonize and steal from middle earth, bc ‘the west was denied to them.’ some fans find this to be a ‘yes, but--’ where it’s not the best thing to do but sympathetic and better than those un-nietzschean faithful. i’m gonna assume every single person who finds this nod-worthy is as White as sour cream.

later on Ar-Gimilzor bans the Faithful’s language, sends secret police or smth to find out everyone who is Faithful and forcibly remove them from their homes, relocate them to Romenna, and corral and watch them, call them and the elves of tol eressea spies, chase them out of numenor, and force the faithful leader’s sister to marry the king. some fans still somehow think this was a morally grey and understandable thing to do because secular-culturally-christian libs are vile and have never parsed a history book in their lives.

Tar-Palantir becomes king after being secretly taught Faithful stuff by his secretly faithful mom, but nothing he does to fix things helps and he eventually dies young from depression. His daughter Tar-Miriel becomes queen but her cousin Ar-Pharazon forces her to marry him and give him the kingship instead. exactly how this happened remains unexplained! Boo! I want more details. Anyway Pharazon is a Fragile Masculinity poster boy and when sauron starts causing trouble he decides he’s just gotta go capture him and bring him to numenor to show off and stroke his ego, bc he is an Heir Of Eärendil and Respect Meehhh!! God this guy sounds SO UNPLEASANTLY FAMILIAR DOESN’T HE EH. (parenthetically i am delighted beyond words at how absolutely bang-on it is that the King’s Men, both here and earlier with the convo with the Valar, totally Do Not Mention the fact that they’re heirs of Elros, not just Earendil, bc that would be super inconvenient to their vision of themselves and their mortality grievance!! lol!!! i love it!!!! god!!!!!!!! *fingers and thumb in a circle emoji*).

anyway sauron is super smart and an awesomesauce genre-savvy villain and way too good for pharazon and he flatters him and manipulates him into making him his councilor and convinces him that the valar are lying and and to worship morgoth and slaughter the faithful by sacrificing them on.....hm....altars....as rebels and as scapegoats for all numenor’s Problems(TM)....>_>....lmao tolkien can be really fucking dumb and scattered about his mythology and religion patchworking, and yet the wokeness-masturbating section of fandom is infinitely worse in the most predictable ways.

WHITE TREE FRACTALS (this time featuring bonus BAMF and Super Awesome And Lovable 21 Year Old Isildur......have i mentioned recently how much i hate peter jackson......)

anyway when Pharazon has a mid-life crisis about getting old sauron also convinces him he can become immortal by invading aman, which he should totally do bc The Strong Do What They Will And The Weak Bear What They Must (remember this is tragically admirable if flawed, because it’s defying fate!) and a super armament is built to invade aman and ar-Pharazon’s ex-bff Amandil who’s secretly friends with the Faithful freaks and makes secret plans to sail to valinor to beg the valar to do something and has his son elendil prepare to go to middle earth to see the elves who are hunkered down there doing.....uhhhhh???? probably hiding from numenorean conquest????

but anyway when pharazon invades aman and chases the elves out of tol eressea and then tirion, he has a Uh-Oh I Think This Was A Bad Idea feeling but can’t back down now so he lands ashore and camps out around tirion and then manwe prays to eru to bail everyone out and says he will lay down rule of arda for a minute since he doesn’t know what to do, presumably a la ‘omg dad i fucked up and totally crashed your car,’ and eru solves this by getting ar-pharazon & co buried under a mountain until the end of the world (funny how so few fans ever address this thing re: tirion in valinor fanfic eh? oh yeah i forgot silm fans don’t give a shit about humans), opening up a big crack in the ocean, pulling aman and tol eressea out into space, turning the earth from flat to spherical, and letting the island of numenor get buried under the resulting tidal wave and fall down the crack to wherever. because you know overkill is great! also sauron is too busy doing an Evil Villain Laugh to realize he’s about to get drowned and he totally dies and has to make himself a new body out of Anger and he’s now ugly, which sucks for the fanartists.

anyway manwe saves elendil and his fleet (it doesn’t say manwe, but it does say ‘but the great wind took [elendil], wilder than any wind that Men had known, roaring from the west, and it swept his ships far away...’ which, duh) and they wind up washed up on middle earth, but totally grief-stricken over the destruction of numenor.

I can’t liveblog the rest any better than verbatim so I’ll just quote:

Among the Exiles many believed that the summit of the Meneltarma, the Pillar of Heaven, was not drowned for ever, but rose again above the waves, a lonely island lost in the great waters; for it had been a hallowed place, and even in the days of Sauron none had defiled it And some there were of the seed of Eärendil that afterwards sought for it, because it was said among loremasters that the far-sighted men of old could see from the Meneltarma a glimmer of the Deathless Land. For even after the ruin the hearts of the Dúnedain were still set westwards; and though they knew indeed that the world was changed, they said: 'Avallónë is vanished from the Earth and the Land of Aman is taken away, and in the world of this present darkness they cannot be found. Yet once they were, and therefore they still are, in true being and in the whole shape of the world as at first it was devised.'

For the Dúnedain held that even mortal Men, if so blessed, might look upon other times than those of their bodies' life; and they longed ever to escape from the shadows of their exile and to see in some fashion the light that dies not; for the sorrow of the thought of death had pursued them over the deeps of the sea. Thus it was that great mariners among them would still search the empty seas, hoping to come upon the Isle of Meneltarma, and there to see a vision of things that were. But they found it not. And those that sailed far came only to the new lands, and found them like to the old lands, and subject to death. And those that sailed furthest set but a girdle about the Earth and returned weary at last to the place of their beginning; and they said:

'All roads are now bent.'

Thus in after days, what by the voyages of ships, what by lore and star-craft, the kings of Men knew that the world was indeed made round, and yet the Eldar were permitted still to depart and to come to the Ancient West and to Avallónë, if they would. Therefore the loremasters of Men said that a Straight Road must still be, for those that were permitted to find it. And they taught that, while the new world fell away, the old road and the path of the memory of the West still went on, as it were a mighty bridge invisible that passed through the air of breath and of flight (which were bent now as the world was bent), and traversed Ilmen which flesh unaided cannot endure, until it came to Tol Eressëa, the Lonely Isle, and maybe even beyond, to Valinor, where the Valar still dwell and watch the unfolding of the story of the world. And tales and rumours arose along the shores of the sea concerning mariners and men forlorn upon the water who, by some fate or grace or favour of the Valar, had entered in upon the Straight Way and seen the face of the world sink below them, and so had come to the lamplit quays of Avallónë, or verily to the last beaches on the margin of Aman, and there had looked upon the White Mountain, dreadful and beautiful, before they died.

#observe my obsession #akallabeth

[decoytardis]

People are doing okay with using my new name. Pronouns - less so.

But honestly, family seem more puzzled and upset about me not going to church than they are about my gender.

Do they even realize that me being trans is one of the big factors in why I don’t go?

Of course it’s not the only thing that caused me to lose my faith (I wonder if I even had any to begin with or if I was just scared into accepting their teachings) and even with some people being more accepting towards queer people now (I have a friend who still is in the church who came out as a trans woman a few months ago and people from her congregation were really supportive), that doesn’t undo all of the hurt from the past regarding queer stuff and more nor does it eliminate all the problematic shit they’re still doing.

Even if I wasn’t agnostic at this point, there are so many problems unrelated to queer stuff that to me are big enough that I still wouldn’t attend.

For one, they only let cishet men become ministers.

Two, while they do have some training in order to become a minister, which is more than they previously did (literally calling teenagers out from the congregation), they don’t actually send their prospective ministers to theological schools or interact much with people from other denominations. This is problematic because a lot of them do not know how to properly research the passages and context for the verse(s) that each service is based off of. They don’t also realize that other readings from other denominations are equally as valid - up until a few years ago they all still thought that their denomination was the only true one and that mentality still strongly exists.

Colonialism. Yeah, this is one of the churches that tried to “spread the gospel” all over the world. They take pride in the fact that they’re in almost every country. But they didn’t realize how it could wreck people’s lives. Some men had multiple wives and wanted to be ministers or something. They were given an ultimatum of only having one wife or not being a part of the church in a full capacity. So some of these women were abandoned by their husbands in places where it is damn near impossible for a woman to be independent enough to raise her children on her own. And basically, they don’t really make an effort to understand other cultures, even here in the US. The default is always white European/US Protestant culture.

Back to the first point - one of the reasons they still only have men as ministers is they bring up the fact that in certain countries it would be dangerous for women to be ministers there or that they would not be taken seriously as ministers there.

Sexism in general - if women are in any sort of leadership roles, they have to work three times as hard, be three times as dedicated, and never make any mistakes ever in order to be taken half as seriously. And one of the last straws for me was how they treated my mother while she was supposedly in a leadership role. Whether it’s because of who she is or the fact that she is a woman or a combination of those facts, they wrecked her spirit and I don’t think I can ever forgive them for that.

Oh and that whole modesty and abstinence culture thing. While it’s not quite as bad as when my mom was growing up (long sleeves, long skirts/dresses, constricting tights and don’t show cleavage if you can help it) afab people were not officially “allowed” to wear pants to church until 2008 (at least in the US-in Europe it was already commonplace) I was made to feel like I was doing something wrong because I absolutely hated skirts and dresses. And while I always tried to hide my chest because I hate having breasts, the shirts that were available for me in someone my size always were low cut. You can imagine how this added to my gender feelings. They also had some pretty restricting hairstyles for men too. And no facial hair.

How they talk about other religions, faiths, or atheists. Like they’re so fucking concerned about their neighbors going to hell because they’re Hindu and not Christian. Like come on, guys. It’s literally not for you to worry about. Just worry about yourself.

How they view physical health, depression or mental health in general (not across the board but very prevalent). Like you’re not faithful enough if you have any chronic condition. My father was disabled, my aunt is blind, the lack of caring and reasonable accommodations from people is something I am still very pissed off about.

Being forced to pray publicly in front of other people. Granted, this only happened once or twice, but I was always so terrified of public speaking in general that I always thought I was going to die. And we were not allowed to decline at least the once.

Hero worship of some ministers. While they try to fix this with all the PR they want, it doesn’t take away the fact that the higher up the food chain a minister is, the more they’re revered and the more their opinions are taken as gospel. This could be found in such “rules” as: not going to the movies, a stint of years where people were not allowed to have Christmas trees (because they were pagan - but this rule was not enforced equally - my dad’s family was always allowed to have one because they were higher up on the food chain, but my mom’s family and others on the same social ring were not), or when people were not allowed to have air conditioning (one minister didn’t like having AC blowing on him) or everyone’s car had to be black, or never celebrating Halloween (because masks hide you from God - you bet your ass some people are using this logic during this pandemic) or not being able to watch TV on Saturdays, or even the fucking colors of the carpets in the church had to be a certain color (I am distantly related through marriage to this minister - he owned a carpet company and his wife had a favorite color - now my relatives own the company -incidentally one who also was a high up minister- and they are some of the most extra people I know. Like, think gold toilets kind of extra) and many many more things from playing card games to listening to certain kinds of music.

Certain congregations being given more attention and resources because they were richer, closer, bigger, more favored than the small, poor one than I was raised in. We were always looked at as less than. Think of District 12 in the Hunger Games. That was us. Still is for those that still go.

But I remember distinctly when the beginning of the end started for me: The most difficult time in my family’s life, when we were taking care of my disabled father who was SO abusive and made us literally want to die (oh yeah that’s a sin too), a minister I thought I trusted told me “don’t let this make you lose your faith.” As if I wasn’t enough as just a person. My faith mattered more to him than I did.

There’s even more, but yeah. Religion is supposed to make you feel more peaceful or enlightened and it never did that for me. So I don’t go and don’t care to believe in it anymore. Because it stresses me the fuck out and has no actual bearing on my morality.

#cj talks #religion #suicidal thoughts #church #sexism

[pack-the-pack]

But Why Omegaverse of All Things??!

Okay so, recently some minor conversation sparked because of one of my posts regarding omegaverse, and why is it a thing and why it’s so popular. I even talked briefly with one of the people curious about it. Therefore, I decided to give some insight and explanations(?) to maybe why this is the case, once and for all. Obviously, I can’t speak for anyone but myself, however I’ll take the liberty to make suppositions about what might have brought people to like it. So if you feel like you don’t agree with something or the reason behind why you’re into this flaming pile of trash with us is not explained here, feel free to add on to it. After all this is just my humble perspective.

{Where and When it started?}

Well Wikipedia says it all started around 2010 with the one, the only, the massive: Supernatural Fandom. But really this is kind of a trick question, cause Omegaverse didn’t “start” anywhere. Those who have been in the Star Trek fandom might recognise terms like “Pon Farr” and “mating bond”, and those have been around longer than the 2010′s. And these have a striking similarity (if not the same stuff) you might find in ABO works. There are ABO fics dated even before said dates, do it’s not a exactly a precise date we’re looking at here. So yeah, it doesn’t have a clear starting point, and with good reason. We can’t pinpoint it’s origins because ABO it’s a collective of various different aspects drawn from many different places at the same time. We don’t have any set rules to what is and what’s not Omegaverse. You have elements of lycanthropism, sex pollen, vampirism, wolf pack dynamics, mpreg, scenting, soul mating, knotting, etc. The whole shabam! But really no one agrees in anything. We all just have this abstract universal understanding of what Omegaverse is and what is not. The elements present can be tossed in and out without harming the concept in the slightest. It can have all or just a few elements mentioned above and it would be just as valid.

Granted, the “modern version” we know today become more popular and well stablished around 2014/2015 ‘til the current year. And why did this happen?

{Projection}

We are living in very turbulent times recently. Be it in the realm of politics or… yeah politics. But regardless it’s undeniable that some things are changing, be it for the worse or for the better on your perspective one thing is true and will always be: Once shit starts to hit the fan we like to sit in the corner for a while and project our feelings into something. Usually this outlet is fantasy and imagination, which leads to ABO… somehow. “Okay but why daheck Omegaverse of all things?” as the title of this post inquires. Cause let’s be honest, Omegaverse sure is weird. I think (and again this is just my OPINION) it’s because Omegaverse can get you out of the “normally perceived” human world and toss you into something that is different from your reality but still similar enough that you can project your thoughts into. And things don’t “change” in this world, is all kinda the same every time. Omegas are Omegas, Betas are Betas, and Alphas are Alphas. Regardless of gender, of class, of economics, of society, of anything. These things don’t change. And it might give us a false sense of security to look at a society and an entire world where things have a sense of certainty. Yah know… unlike real life.

{Simulation}

Trying to understand how the world works and why B is B and not C is what humans do best and what we have been doing for as long as we can remember. So when you say “Alphas are X, Y and Z” it stimulates your brain to go “but why daheckity heck is that?”, opening a whole new plethora of thoughts about how this fantastical world and the people in it works. This kinda intertwines with the projection part, cause ABO has the “animalistic” side of people presented way more forefront and highlighted than irl. But just like in ABO humans might be capable of rational thought but at the end of the day we’re just glorified animals with a big ol’ brain inside our bone-made-thought-cage known as a skull. Once you start to look at ABO in a “biological sense” some thoughts start to occur to you, such as: “Is this somehow applicable in my life?”, “do humans have similar biological drives like that?”, “Is this nurture or nature?”, “are we really more than animals?”, “how far does our biology interfere with society”, “is society molded around our biological needs or do our biological needs mold themselves around society?”, “how far can our brains interfere with our bodies and vice-versa”, etc.

Just like any other trope and fantastical concept Omegaverse can indeed offer you a valid platform to project and simulate things you might not understand about real life or even about yourself. It proves itself to be a really fun and entertaining process and it also has a plus for getting some biases that might interfere with your judgment out of the way thanks to its huge flexibility. Yes, I am indeed declaring that Omegaverse for all it’s quirkiness and weirdness is capable of provoking thought. You’re welcome, I regret nothing.

{World Building and The Whole DIY Aspect of It}

I think this one is the one that resonates with me the most out of all the reasons. For those who are into world building but aren’t very kin into having to start from the ground up or just aren’t very good at it… BOY Omegaverse has your back, son. Since everyone else kinda already did half the work for you all you gotta do is take the abstract core concept and go full Picasso on it. The liberty omegaverse gives you is unbelievable and the worlds you can build around it can range from small island to a whole galaxy system. Which is very rare for a fanfic/fanart trope. Cause the other most popular AUs are crowded in way more rules and stuff you gotta follow or else people start to poop their pants cause “the wands are made of dragon-heart-strings not scales YOU HEATHEN!”, But all joking and exaggerations aside ABO is really unique in this aspect. You can focus on the biology, fashion, architecture, culture, religion, history, art, music, entertainment, etc. All revolving around ABO. The ammount of things you can explore is simply insane. Crafting a society based around these three dynamics is beyond fun (and I know there are people who make more dynamics aside from these but I’ll stick with the basic ones). And having every person bring something new and crafted completely differently from what you have but having just the same core focus every time you click in a ABO work is really something special on it’s on.

I think D&D players might know this feeling all too well, cause although there are general concepts and stuff that don’t change, you’ll never have the same experience twice and everytime it’s a new different and exciting adventure in a whole new world to explore. ABO is kinda like that but with weird ass human-wolf people instead of classes :v 

{RPying and Making New Friends}

This one is not exactly my cup of tea but I’m aware that a lot of people stay in the ABO community for this reason. Since ABO has a lot of material to works with it can be a goldmine for people that are into RPying. Be it with friends or to meet new people, the ABO community is rarely judgemental and is open to pretty much everyone, so it can be lots of fun to incorporate all the aspects you love about ABO into some good time with nice people. I know that @omegaverse-seeker is one person’s blog you can go just to find other people willing to RP with you using Omegaverse. So if you’re interested go check it out. 

{Social Commentary}

If you follow me long enough you’ll know that BOY HOWDY do I hold some grudges against this one. But since it happens a lot I feel like it would be unfair for me to not comment on it. Many people use the whole ABO genre to build narratives and push some sort of agenda or just make a social commentary about the real world. And god knows how this drives me NUTS most part of the time, because Jesus is it done poorly 9 times out of 10. Even if it comes as totally annoying and breaks the immersion of things for most part, there are times in which is done well and results into some really interesting and thought provoking stories. Like I said before projection and simulation is a big part of this. So when someone manages to take something as broad as ABO and transform into something that will make you lay down your phone for a while to actually think about some aspects of your life and the lives around you it really is something. Obviously it ain’t gonna be A Clockwork Orange lvl kind of thought provoking. Let’s get real people we’re all just amateur students on the internet no need to overestimate things. But the potential is totally there. The genre allows for this kind of potential to exist. And given the talent, the time and the faith required Omegaverse can bring up some real intriguing questions about our lives and the society we live in.

{Coping Mechanisms}

This one might come off a little risky, cause god knows this site and the word “sensitive” go hand in hand with one another. But even if it sounds a little pretentious (like everything else in this list) I’ll say it either way. Some people might use ABO to cope with some things they are not entirely comfortable with (I’ll not enter into the whole transgender “issue” that is brought up every  time someone wants to talk about how terrible Omegaverse is, Okay? That’s a whole can of worms I’m just not willing to open here, and not today… or maybe ever. But I digress. Back to other forms of copying) Some people might use Omegaverse to cope with some aspects of themselves they are still trying to come into terms with. Since within Omegaverse there are three dynamics, each with two genders, and every single one of them with exceptions within exceptions this can be a good outlet for people who might not “fit in” with what they belive they should be. For example a boy who’s more feminine and not as physically strong as his peers might look at ABO and see all the Omegas and Betas and go like “Oh I’m not defective or not as good I’m just different”. Or a girl who’s too masculine and physically strong dispite being a girl (like myself) might look at ABO and go “Oh, I’m not out of place, I’m just more ‘Alpha’-like”. Or “I’m not average. I’m a Beta”, lol @betasverse is gonna kill me for this one. 

Generally I don’t encourage this form of coping mechanism, or any form of coping mechanisms by that matter. I personally think that you should face reality as it is and try not to run away from it using short cuts and made up explanations. But if this is what gave you the initial kick or what’s helping you in the process of coming into yourself all the power to you my dude. Just try not to get too lost in it okay?

{Kinks}

And last but not least, you might just be into this sort of stuff. A lot of ABO is not plot related AT ALL. It’s just pure porn without plot and the bliss of dirty-dirty kinks. And Hey what’s wrong with that? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ We all got something that turns us on. If yours is people in heat and the whole submissive-dominant, Mpreg or any other things going on in ABO, go ahead children. Have all the fun. And if someone tells you it’s wrong to “fetishize” this or that, just tell them to shove it up their butt. Cause this is a stupid word anyways and what you do in the privacy of your home with yourself or any other consenting person is nobody’s fucking business but your own. 

There’s also other things like family Dyncamics you’d like to see incorporated to your ship. Or you think some tropes within Omegaverse are cute and think it would suit your OTP very nicely, etc. But I think I tackled all the main ones already, and if we are to analyse every fucking reason we’ll be here forever. So there you go people. The answer for “but why Omegaverse of all things?”.  

If you’re curious about any of the things I said here and want to see them be put in practice I suggest looking up mine and all the other ABO content creators here on tumblr and on ao3. Here’s a master list you can use for the tumblr ones. And here some good ABO fics with interesting concepts as a starting point if you’re new to the whole thing (a fair warning tho, most of them are incomplete and in permanent hiatus).

#omegaverse #abo #alpha beta omega #explaining the whole trope #and fascination with the subject #the why for abo #ptp originals #pack-the-pack answers #pack-the-pack explains

[communistastrobabe-blog]

My Thoughts on Lilith, and rebuttal to @littledoomwitch

Through my extensive research on Lilith it’s been very difficult to find solid sources regarding her history. It’s only recently I’ve come across the Lilith discourse on tumblr, particularly that of @littledoomwitch. Although I respect what they have to say on the little-discussed niche topic of Lilith, there are certain points I fundamentally disagree with them about. Prior to finding their blog, what little I found regarding Lilith worship was always pro-Lilith in that they viewed her as a feminist demon open for anyone to worship. As I try to be as aware as possible of not accidentally appropriating a closed culture or religion in my witchcraft, i was very surprised yet interested in hearing the viewpoints voiced by tumblr user littledoomwitch which (in more or less terms) view Lilith as an entity that is inappropriate to worship, especially from gentiles. After going through about 10 pages of the #lilithdefensesquad tag, I think I got the general gist and have a couple takes. However I am very open-minded and am still actively engaging in Lilith research, so please feel free to engage or correct me on any of this.

- Firstly, I’d like to clarify how I view Lilith. I strongly disagree with the Dianic Wiccan nonsense that Lilith is synonymous with the mother-goddess, or that she is anyway associated with love, fertility, motherhood, positivity, healing, etc. Wiccans who conflate Lilith with the "Mother" or goddesses from the Greek/Roman pantheon fundamentally misconstrue what little we do know about Lilith, and I believe are very disrespectful. If you are going to worship Lilith, do not try to paint her as some sweet Benevolent Mother-figure. Take her for who she is, and do not simply discount the beliefs of an ancient religion.

- Lilith, to me, is a powerful goddess (I use 'goddess' loosely - you could say demon, or otherworldly creature - that's pretty much just semantics) who represents wild, repressed, destructive feminine energy. I do not believe she is "evil", because I do not believe in the good/evil binary. She is chaotic, amoral, vengeful, assertive, beautiful, powerful, angry, promiscuous, and defiant. She is associated with infertility and miscarriage, as well as succubi, or demons who would steal men's semen in the middle of the night and cause premature ejaculation.

I do not worship Lilith on a daily basis. I don't feel comfortable praying to her or talking to her like I would other more approachable entities. Still, I do make offerings to her, in exchange for keeping me from getting pregnant. I also call on her in cursework and she is a very powerful and destructive force to deal with. I call on her in times where I need her destructive anger and strength backing me. But I am always aware of the price she exacts.

- As for her history, I don't really buy that she doesn't show up in other religions apart from ancient Judaism. 600 bc where she's first mentioned in Judaism she is also briefly described in the Epic of Gilgamesh, and the jury is out about which drew from the other. Mythological figures THAT far back tend to appear in altered forms cross-culturally. So does it really matter whether or not Lilith came exclusively from the Sumerian 'lilitu' or Jewish rabbinical literature? Probably it was a combination of both, due to the intermingling of different cultures from war, trade, conquest, etc. We don't have definitive sources because now we're getting further and further into BC years where there are fewer and fewer written sources. Personally, I'd like to think that Lilith is an archetype that has been passed down orally since almost the beginning of civilization, existing in one demonic form or another. This isn't to discount her role in Jewish mythology, but you really can't make the claim that she is closed to worship by modern gentile practitioners of witchcraft, given that a) Lilith was never worshipped by Jews in the first place, and b) she wasn't a figure exclusively known to the Jews, as the Epic of Gilgamesh also mentions her c) she's also mentioned in Isaiah later on. You make the claim that gentiles aren't allowed to worship a Jewish demoness because she's been historically feared by the Jews in ancient times; but ask any Jew (or anyone, for that matter) who Lilith is today and I'd say 9 out of 10 do not know who she is. Furthermore, I really don't think this argument stands when you look at all the other biblical villains who are being worshipped in neo-wicca, the most obvious being SATAN himself. Is worshipping Satan/Samael/Lucifer culturally appropriative or antisemitic, as you claim worshipping Lilith is? I'd be skeptical if you said it was, given that so many of us within neo-paganism worship Satan.

- I completely disagree with your point that Lilith cannot be worshipped by Gentiles. Yes, Judaism is a PARTIALLY closed religion. It is not completely closed given the fact that gentiles have been allowed to ritually convert to judaism. Similar to how Christianity is not closed but you still need to go through a ritual baptism in order to be a full-fledged member.  This differentiates them from closed religions like most native american, indigenous, and african tribal religions where outsiders are completely banned. In those cases it would be inappropriate for outsiders to worship Native American deities for example and claim their mythology as their own. But Judaism, along with Christianity and Islam, are NOT closed religions. We should respect other cultures' beliefs and mythologies, but the Abrahamic religions are not closed from outsider worship of deities/demons/what have you.

- Regardless about whether you personally think the First Wife story is true or not based on the validity of the Ben Sira text, you yourself have admitted that many rabbinical scholars were influenced by this text and it had a profound effect on how Jews viewed Lilith for centuries. Lilith has been taught even in Hebrew school as being Adam's first wife, to quote yourself. So why are you so pissed that jews AND gentile witches are believing the same thing? Also consider that the first wife tale may not have begun with the ben sira text, since most myths tend to be past down orally for centuries before it is eventually written down. I doubt the author of ben sira made it up out of nowhere - everything originates from somewhere. I really don't think it's that far of a stretch, and given that it's one of the only sources we have on lilith and Jews have been believing and teaching their children that Lilith was Adam's first wife for centuries, you really don't have room to shit on believers of the first wife story. You can be skeptical of the text itself and the intentions of the anonymous author, as we should be of ALL ancient documents, but you shouldn't discount it simply because there's no other sources backing it up yet to be uncovered. While I personally do believe the alphabet of sirach was a satirical text, I don't necessarily believe the lilith story was pulled out of thin air. It was also written in 2 parts; the first part being older and largely thought of as the most satirical, and the second part written by a different author containing the lilith story.

- You claim that people shouldn't worship lilith because that would imply jewish religion is misogynistic because adam tried to dominate her and god took his side and she left…. But really, come on now, MOST if not all major world religions particularly the abrahamic ones are inherently misogynistic. To claim that not even SOME ancient jewish texts / practices do not contain misogynistic elements would kinda be purposefully ignoring a lot of problems with organized religion in general which tends to be inherently misogynistic?? I don't think it's a stretch to claim that organized religion in GENERAL is misogynistic and I'm mainly talking about Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. This is just a fact and it's not antisemitism but rather being critical of misogyny present in organized religion.

- I think I'm done but one last thought- I've heard time and time again that Lilith is viewed as either trans or intersex in some circles but I can't find any sources. If anyone knows anything about it and can point me in the right direction that would be lovely.

- Again, feel free to dispute any of this, I'm here to learn more.

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