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rxgerthatt · 1 year

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save me darling, for you are my salvation

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings : 18+/smut/creeps/ no minors!

Summary : you own a cafe. Bucky’s trying to work through his shit.

A/N : two in one day? Aren’t you lucky.

When Bucky met you he was a changed man.

As changed as an ex assassin with a metal arm and superhuman strength could be.

Gone were the days of mission reports and masked, grime slicked faces. No more soviet slugs, no more murdering innocents. I’m James Buchanan Barnes, I’m no longer the Winter Soldier and you are part of my efforts to get my life back together.

Or something like that.

He’d taken up therapy. Once a week for one hour, unpacking decades worth of baggage he kept locked away in the folds of his mind. He’d come to your cafe after every session - 2pm on the dot - and not because the coffee was good.

Nah, he came because of you.

The bright eyed girl. Bouncing hair and gleaming smile. In another life he would have had no issue asking you out, but a hundred years of trauma has an affect on his confidence. You were like a soothing balm over his mind. After an hour of facing demons with gaping mouths, drooling nothing but trauma over his shoulder - seeing your smile made them shrivel into the darkness once more.

“Hey Bucky,” you beam, joyful, full of light and he wonders how you do it. “The usual?”

“Hey,” he sits at the counter. “Please doll.”

You sit your book down, get to work on making him a black coffee - one sugar because he needed the lift up.

You place it in front of him with a grin, “one black with sugar.”

He thanks you, “what you reading today?”

You push your book across the counter, bent corners, pages dog eared and he could tell it was well loved. A Time to Kill.

“You seen the movie?” You ask him, leaning your head in your hands and looking up at him through your lashes and fuck - if he hadn’t dreamed of that in another context.

Bucky shakes his head, takes a sip and watches as you think through what you say next.

“I’ve got it on DVD, you could borrow it or…” you trail off for a moment, before - fuck it. “You could come round? Only if you want.”

Your cute. Cheeks blushed pink, big eyes sparkling and how could he ever say no to you? His candle in the dark, warped reality of his life.

“Tonight?” He finds himself asking.

—

Your apartment is what he expects it to be - immaculate.

A humble one bedroom with eggshell painted walls and dark oak furniture. You open the door to him with a smile, ushering him inside. You’ve laid out snacks - popcorn, chips and these little jelly sweets in colour coordinated bowls.

He watches you as you load up the DVD player. It’s the first time he’s seen you out of uniform, short shorts and oversized graphic tee with these big fluffy slippers that look too big compared to your slender legs.

You have great legs.

“Never expected this to be your kinda film,” Bucky comments as you sit beside him, throwing him a blanket as you wrap yourself in your own.

“I find it best not to judge a book by its cover,” you reply with a smirk. “Who doesn’t love a good crime movie?”

You had a point.

As the movie played on you got closer, until his arm was resting on the sofa above you, two blankets down to one, your back pressed to his side and he was sure it was a good film - but he couldn’t concentrate. He just hoped you didn’t ask any questions about it.

He’d never been this close. To study the curl of your lashes as they kissed the tips of high cheekbones and the soft slope of your nose and the freckle you had just below your ear. You were the prettiest thing he’d ever fucking seen.

You yawn softly as the credits roll. Bucky moves to stand up but you call his name.

“You can take the sofa,” you rub your hands together. “It’s late.”

He nods, feels his heart jump and he doesn’t miss the breath of relief you let out at his acceptance. Maybe you thought he didn’t want you - the furthest thing from the truth - but he knew his exterior was steely - maybe he could let you in.

You bring him pillows, make the sofa look like the comfiest bed in the world and before you retire to your room you kiss his cheek.

“G’night Bucky.”

He leaves before you wake up.

—

Bucky found out he was jealous on a Tuesday afternoon.

He never remembers feeling like this in the 40’s - that green brush of envy as a jock leaned across the counter waffling words he couldn’t hear. You carried on working, humming occasionally but never really listening.

Bucky gets closer and your eyes shift to him, face lighting and you greeted him with that smile that melted his vital organs.

“Hey doll, just the usual please.”

You nod, refusing his money as you get to work on his coffee, and he wonders if the fact you’d never taken a dime from him was a sign you liked him. He hoped it was.

You’re turned away when Bucky catches shit-house in the corner staring openly at your ass - no shame, licking his lips with a smile and Bucky felt the involuntary shift of his metal arm beneath his clothes.

Punk.

“What’s it gonna take babe?” The jock says to you as you turn to clean the counter. You cut a glance in his direction, scowl on your face that Bucky had never seen before because it was so unlike you - his girl with the blazing smile.

“I’m here everyday, won’t you let me take that pretty ass out on a date?” What a gentleman.

You openly bristle, place a bill in front of him with a scowl.

“And I tell you everyday Nathan, I’m not interested in dating,” you respond. “Cash or card?”

Bucky chuckles. He’d never seen that side to you. Fire burning your fingertips, tongue like a whip as you shot his advancements out of the air - bang, bang, bang.

Bullseye.

Nathan finally looks at Bucky then, an icy gaze with stormy blue eyes - enough to scare a cat - not a super soldier.

“You find that funny?” He barks.

Bucky takes a sip of his coffee, grins as he says, “yeah actually, I did.”

As expected, Nathan storms out after paying - men like him have worse bark than bite - and Bucky was well equipped to deal with both. Especially when it came to you.

You sigh, shoulders slumped and you continue to clean. Bucky wonders how often you deal with assholes like that - everyday by the sounds of things. He couldn’t blame a man for trying, you were the most beautiful girl Bucky had ever seen, and he’d been alive for over a century.

“So you’re not interested in dating?” Bucky earns a smile from you, a small chuckle in your throat that still sounds defeated.

You work your arm in circles, counter spotless as you say, “I’m holding out for someone special.”

“Do I know him?” Bucky asks.

“You know him pretty well,” you blush.

—

When he finds out John Walker is Captain America - he goes to you.

He shouldn’t. It’s 3am but he doesn’t know where else to go, saunters the streets and he lands at your door; rapping his knuckles on the wood. Heart on his sleeve, tears brushing his eyes because how could they replace him?

How could they ever replace Steve?

His best friend. His one tie to another life. The only man that deserved the title of Captain America - not some jumped up military man, brainwashed by governments who tell him he’s doing the ‘right thing.’ To see that shield on another man’s arm?

That fucking hurt.

You’re confused when you open the door, groomed by sleep and you’re even prettier when you’re not done up - messy hair, sleep hazed eyes.

“Your neighbour let me in I-“

You move to let him inside, not needing the explanation and Bucky knew he came to the right place. His one solace, his salvation - you.

“Are you okay Bucky?” You ask him and he breaks down.

You hold him as he cries, rub his back with tender hands; his rock against a moving tide. The ocean tried to wash him away but he clung onto you, and his head stayed above water.

He fills in the spots you’ve missed. The parts of his life he wanted to share but was worried they would scare you off. Holy fuck - he wasn’t joking when he said he was 106.

The metal arm mesmerises you. You turn his palm in your hand with a - “I thought you said you had poor circulation?”

You make him laugh. Brew him tea and listen to his queries and you do a better job than Raynor ever could because he just needed someone to hear him, to understand him.

The dark fog lifts with your head on his shoulder, his hand combing through your hair and he apologises for getting you out of your bed. You tell him to shut up.

Nothing else matters when he’s here with you. These fleeting moments where he thinks he could do life like this, a normal life, with you - the girl from the cafe that stopped his heart when he first saw you. You chase away the dark, cocoon him in this blissful period of you and him - that’s all that mattered.

“I’m off tomorrow,” you announce. “You’re welcome to stay.”

“Thank you doll,” he replies.

You take his hand, lead him to your room and it takes him by surprise because it’s a fucking mess and that’s unlike you. You scratch the nape of your neck with a giggle, apologising but he doesn’t know what for.

He sleeps with you tangled around him, the warmth of your body rocking him to a deep slumber; the smell of your hair like a wet finger to a match on his nerves.

Yeah - he could do life like this.

—

You’re the one who kisses him for the first time.

There’s a picnic basket - homemade sandwiches and fresh cream buns on a soft patchwork blanket. The sun pounds on your skin, spot of butter on your chin and he wipes it away with his thumb. You giggle and it lights a fire in his stomach that licks its way through his insides.

You’re so close.

Your lips are soft, your smell intoxicating and he needs to remind himself he’s in a fucking park, but it’s hard not to let himself be completely consumed by you.

Bit late for that pal.

There’s a soft hum in your chest that sends signals straight to his mind, makes him light headed and hazy as he strokes a hand across your cheek.

For the first time he feels like a boy. He’s back in Brooklyn and if you’d been alive a hundred years ago he would’ve asked you to marry him because that’s how deep he’d drowned in you. Like a body of water, you flowed in waves. You pulled him into your current until all he could think of was you.

You giggle because he must look starstruck - blushed cheeks and blown out eyes, lips slightly parted because wow - you amazed him.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” Bucky says.

“Why didn’t you?” You quirk your head.

“Been out of the game doll,” he chuckles. “Not good with hints.”

“If I said I liked you would that make it easier?” Your eyes sparkle.

“Let’s go back to your apartment.”

You laugh.

—

You’re in his lap, legs spilling across his thighs as you straddle him and Bucky forgets how to breathe.

His hands are everywhere - your hair, your face, up your shirt. Your tits fit perfectly in his hands, but they sit even better on your chest - perked to attention and fuck - they didn’t make them like you in the 40’s.

Maybe you were the reason he survived. All the pain and torture to reach this moment with you. His girl.

You make work of his belt, slip out his cock into your hand before spitting on it. Bucky groans, lets his fingers mess the wetness beneath your panties before you slide onto him with a whine. You move with ease, up and down - Bucky feels like he’s dreaming; mind clouded with lust and all he could feel was you.

“Fuck,” you say when he hits a particularly nice spot deep inside you and he makes a point of rutting up into you to reach it over and over again because he won’t last long. Not with you.

He throws his head back, blows out a breath as he feels the heat starting in his toes. He holds you hip with his metal arm, pounding into you relentless when he feels your legs grow weak and you did so well for him.

You were so good for him.

You fall forward as your pussy squeezes his girth, head on his shoulder and he’s chasing his high before yours is even finished.

You kiss him lovingly, dropping beside him and he pulls a blanket over you. Bucky kisses the top of your head, the sounds of heavy breathing and rapid heart rate battering against his eardrums.

His mind is blank.

“That was…” you drift off.

“Fucking incredible,” he finishes.

—

He brings you roses on your birthday.

Walked miles around town to find the best of the best because you deserve nothing less and he knows that.

He spots you through the window, cleaning a table in the back corner and he has to stop to watch you in this candid moment. He couldn’t believe you would pick him. The fucked up soldier with the fucked up past.

I’m James Buchanan Barnes and I’m the luckiest guy on the planet.

You look up when he walks into the cafe, not shy as you walk towards him, kissing him softly.

“Happy birthday doll.”

You thank him, holding the roses like a new born child and he notices Nathan scowling in the corner as you prepare them in a vase.

“Thought you weren’t into dating?” Nathan spits at you.

You smile at him, before glancing at Bucky with a smirk.

“I’m into older guys.”

Oh - you’d pay for that.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #winter soldier #marvel #bucky x y/n #bucky imagine #bucky x you

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rrenzwrld · 7 months

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secreto de amor II

chapter 2! chapter 1 here

thank you sm for 800 followers! i could cry🥹

when you came back, it was late so you assumed jean was asleep and connie had left since you knew jean had work in the morning. but you were proved wrong when you saw connie on the couch.

you didn’t know if he was asleep, but the tv was still on. you tried to sneak past him so he wouldn’t notice but he had heard you so he sat up.

“were you really gonna try to sneak past me?” you paused.

“yeah. i thought you were sleep.. or gone.” he got up and started to stretch and yawn.

“nah, your brother didn’t want me driving in the dark.. or high. and plus you took his car so..” he laughed a bit.

“but don’t you know how to drive?”

“hell yeah i know how to drive. the fuck you getting smart for?” by this time, connie had made his way around the couch and was walking towards you. you didn’t know connie like that so you had to admit you were a bit worried.

“don’t cuss at me. i don’t know you.” connie raised his hands and backed away from you.

“my bad. it’s a habit.”

“to be aggressive with girls you don’t know?”

“especially if they’re pretty.” he smiled but you were trying not to, no matter how cute you thought he was.

“goodnight, connie.” you emphasized his name before heading down the hall to your room.

when you woke up later that morning, you missed jean going to work. normally you’re up when he goes just to see him off but you woke up later than usual. you head to the kitchen and you see connie.. again.

“goodmorning~ you thought i was gone, didn’t you?” he turned to you smiling like he was only doing it just to piss you off. “don’t worry, your brother knows i’m still here.”

“when are you leaving?” you hadn’t moved from your spot.

“after i eat this sandwich, why? why you tryna get rid of me so fast?” it was only because you were used to jean being the only man in the house and he was family so you felt safe. connie was not family so you didn’t feel that safe, no matter how much you knew your brother trusted him.

“like i said, i don’t know you like that.”

“why don’t you wanna get to know me? i’m not that bad.” maybe he wasn’t but you didn’t think you cared enough.

connie was eating the sandwich as slowly as he could so he wouldn’t have to leave so fast. the more you pushed him away, the more intriguing he found you to be and wanted to be around you more. and what you were wearing made the situation no better.

you had on a tank top with shorts that were a bit high only because you got hot very easily at night. but you thought he’d be gone by the time you got up so you didn’t change.

“sorry.”

“for what?” connie’s eyes couldn’t help but wander around your figure and you observed that. your hands tugged at the hem of your shorts a bit but connie started smiling and you don’t know how that makes you feel.

“i don’t know.”

“don’t tell me you one of those bitches who apologize for no reason. i hate–”

“i’m not a bitch. i don’t appreciate you calling me that.” connie laughed in your face and you were strongly offended. as much as you wanted to do something about it, your body froze and nothing happened.

“you just gonna let me talk to you like that?” you didn’t respond and ignored connie as you moved around him to get some chips from the pantry. you didn’t like to admit it but that was the golden question all your life, you really gonna let them talk to you like that? its not like you wanted to, your body and mouth refused to speak up and you got used to brushing everything off. but having a brother like jean helped you out a lot.

connie watched you disappear down the hall to your room. he felt bad for messing with you so bad but it was amusing to him and it also gave him more insight on the type of person you were without opting for the boring small talk. he hoped that you would open up one day, but he wasn't sure if that would ever happen. he knew you were capable of speaking your truth, he just hoped that you would finally have the courage to do it.

#aot #aot x reader #black reader #aot x black reader #connie springer #aot connie #connie x black y/n #connie x black reader #connie springer x black reader

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ghostiiess · 1 year

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[NSB HEADCANONS] - nsb giving you promise ring

■□■□■□■□■□■■□■□■□■□■□■■□■□■□■□■□■■□■□■□■□■□■■□■□■□■

pov: the title say it all

warning: none that i can think off, except it's really smooth and sweet??? like it's super wholesome

type: wholesome

members: all of them

sorry i didn't had a lot of inspiration for this one since i'm not really used with promise rings and all 😭 but i still hope you'll like it anon!!

likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated :D

OLIVER

would be super sweet about it

he would give you so much love :(

i mean it's oliver moy we're talking about

"i promise you that one day, we'll have real rings around our fingers and that i'll see you walk along the aisle and that you'll see me crying of joy in front of both our families"

bye he's so cute

"you're the only for me, y/n and you'll always will be. and i want you to know that i'll do everything in my power i can to make you happy"

(rest of the members under the cut!)

SEBASTIAN

would give you a promise ring because he have the money and he loves you-

nah i'm kidding (i mean it's true, he loves you and money but he doesn't buy one bc of that 😭)

would do like if it was a wedding proposal or smth

and he will take off one of his shoes to kneel down because he does not want to damage it and bend it (yes like in the shorts he did 😂)

"y/n, my baby, my love, my soulmate.. i want you to know that our love will never stop. i will love you forever and this is a promise"

he's so sweet

"even though we're still very young to have like babies or to even have a wedding, i wanted to give you this promise ring so you can know our love is real and will stay strong until we're old enough to have wedding and all these amazing stuff"

bye he's so talkative 🙄

you better kiss him so he can stop talking /hj

JUSTIN

he would give you a promise ring and smile

bye his smile-

"y/n, my love, i love you so much, you know that, right?"

"i know it's not a ring proposal or anything like that, but i still wanted to give you one to make you know our love will stay strong and real until the very end"

"i really hope one day i'll be able to change it for a real one and be able to call you my wife"

CAN YOU STOP BEING CUTE?? THANK YOU

PLUS HE'S SMILING WHILE SAYING THAT, LIKE JP!!!

justin is a real romantic guy in my eyes

so ofc he would make a lil' scene and speech haha

RYAN

okay, okay, if this man do that, know that it's going to be romantic

flowers, little date, beach, sunset.. PICNIC DATE, IDK HE JUST GIVE ME THIS KIND OF VIBE IDK WHY

(imagine if ryan give you a promise ring during a picnic date, bye it'll be so cute 🤭)

just know that if ryan give you a promise ring, know that he cares a lot about you

like a lot

he think you're special

and the only one for him :')

he love you very much omg

"life may not be forever, but our love will be"

bye, ryan why are you so cute???

"i know we're still both young, but since i have met you y/n, i feel like my inner child is happy and that everything's going to be okay if i'm with you"

he's too cute :(

KANE

oh my lord

kane would be so adorable bye-

i mean kane's already adorable, but yeah you got it

"y/n, my darling, my soulmate, my safe person.."

i feel kane would call you with pet names before giving you the promise ring

"y/n, you're the only one for me. i love you so so much and i don't think i could live a day without you and your funny habits you do when you wake up or when you find something annoying.."

this man would do a speech like if he was proposing, bye he's too cute 😭

"i give you this promise ring because i want you to know that our love will live forever and that i'll never let you go"

but it took him a lot of time to choose the ring and how to say his speech without him sounding weird

"dear y/n... no, this is not good! y/n, i love you... no! it's not good enough!"

would literally search on google on how to do a great speech without revealing all the thing he want to say (in others words: how to avoid revealing all your thoughts)

DARREN

darren would be super mega excited about it

like a excited puppy or something 😂🐕

he would be so excited that i feel he wouldn't be able to contain the surprise until the day he want to give you the ring

(he want to practice his speech so it's perfect)

he'll give you hints

and you wouldn't know it!!

"damn i thought you loved wearing rings.." (ok that may not be a great hint, i'll give you that)

other hints be like "y/n, do you think promise rings are overrated or underrated?"

"what do you think about.. promise rings, y/n?"

like darren couldn't keep the surprise (at least not for a very long time)

"even though i told you some hints since almost two weeks.. i hope this promise ring will make you know how our love is strong and how much i want to continue to keep loving you.."

so so cute

REGIE

so cute

i mean we're talking about the regie macalino here 😎

if like him, you're from the philippines, he'll tell you his speech in his language

and if you're not, then he would do in english

or even better

he would do it in your language

the guy downloaded duolingo just to know how to speak your language and to make it more romantic haha

like regie??? do you want us dead?????

he would give you a promise ring that is so shiny

bc in his eyes, you're the shiniest thing he ever saw

"whatever life may come to us, i'll still love you and i always will. and that's a promise, y/n. i love you and i want you to be by my side until we grow old together"

like justin, a real romantic guy.. he'll do a cute speech and all haha

hope you liked it anon!! like i said, i didn't had a lot of inspiration to do a whole scene, but i hoped you liked them! <3

taglist (open! send an ask if you want to be in it!) : @nsb-rkive @kentisbaby @firebenderwolf @hyuneee0

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burntheedges · 16 days

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Passing Notes: Leap

Jack Daniels x gn!reader | 746 words | Passing Notes masterlist

summary: You’ve got a day off and you’re ready to rest and relax when a handsome cowboy shows up at your door unexpectedly.

a/n: happy gift exchange, El! @secretelephanttattoo This was obviously inspired by your leap day asks. I hope you enjoy it. lol

tags/warnings: flirting, surprise cowboys, food and drink mention, reader walks around their apartment and wears shorts, otherwise not described

...

You were settling in for a cozy day off at home — warm drink, soft blanket, comfy clothes and hoodie all present and accounted for — when you were interrupted by a knock at the door.

You sighed. Now? You were just getting comfortable.

Brow furrowed, you moved slowly towards the door, wondering who it could be. You checked through the peephole and found an unfamiliar man standing in the hall of your apartment building. He was wearing a black leather jacket and a cowboy hat. You squinted at him. Who’s this? You could see even through the warped view of the peephole that he was devastatingly attractive.

You opened the door and the moment he laid eyes on you, he smiled. It was too charming.

“Well hello there, darlin’! I’m Jack.”

Nothing else seemed to be forthcoming, and you tugged nervously on your sweatshirt. “Um, hello. Can I help you, Jack?”

“I’m here for leap day!” He said it in such a way that you could tell you were supposed to know what that meant. You didn’t.

“Leap day?” You questioned. You were lost.

Jack frowned a bit and dug in his pocket. He pulled out a crumpled form and showed it to you. As you read it, your eyes widened, and you remembered the ad you and your friends had seen at the bar last week.

Lonely on leap day? Not this year! Book a leap day date - February 29, 2024 - Call now! Spend the day with a charming, flirty, oh-so-sweet person of your dreams! Call ###-###-#### or visit leapdaydate.com today!

You stared at the form that clearly stated your name and address and that Jack had been booked as your leap day date for 12 hours. 12 hours??

You looked back up at Jack. “I’m so sorry, my friend must have booked it. We saw the flyer last week and talked about it. I had no idea.” You remember your friend Sarah had heard about the company from a coworker who had raved about it, which at least made you feel a bit better right now. You knew they had rules about how the whole thing worked.

Jack’s winning smile didn’t waver, but you could tell he was surprised. “That’s alright, darlin’. We can do whatever you’d like, if you want to keep the date.”

You realized you were keeping him in the hallway and stepped aside to invite him in. “Can you tell me a little more about what we’re supposed to do?”

He took off his hat and fixed his hair as he stepped inside. “Well, like I said, we can do whatever you’d like. Stay in, watch a movie, go out, have dinner. It’s up to you.”

That’s too many options, you thought. How could you choose from anything and everything?

“Are there any rules? Or things you don’t like to do?” As you said it, you realized it sounded like you were asking him about something you were pretty sure wasn’t on the menu and your cheeks burned. He grinned and winked.

“Nah, darlin’, I’m easy.” He winked again. On anyone else it would have been absurd but somehow he made it work. “But technically anything naughty isn’t part of the package.”

You hid your face in your hands and groaned. “That’s not what I meant, I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to be bored.”

You looked up to find him smiling at you again. “Darlin’, something tells me I’m going to have a great time.”

You smiled back, tentative. “Well let me get changed and we can figure out what we’re going to do.”

He glanced down your body and you felt your cheeks heat again. “Aw, you can’t keep wearing these cute little shorts?”

You bit your lip. Flirty, the flyer had promised. You tried not to read into it. “Not if we’re leaving the house. I might flash someone.” Why did you say that?

He grinned at you again and ran his tongue across his bottom lip. “Now, who’d complain about a thing like that? But no darlin’, I want you to be comfortable. You go get changed and I’ll prep the paperwork. Might put you at ease a bit.”

You smiled and nodded and headed to your room. A date with Jack? You glanced back at him and got an eyeful of his ass in those jeans. You smirked. Well, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to have your cozy day at home interrupted after all.

#PPCUGiftExchange2024 #jack daniels x reader #jack daniels x you #jack daniels x gn!reader #jack daniels fanfiction #jack daniels fic #x reader #bte friendship exchange

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onceuponastory · 2 years

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the story of you - bucky barnes x reader

“If I’m out of line, Just show me the door I promise you, I I won’t come here no more” - door by i don’t know how, but they found me

Plot: Bucky and the late night bartender in an almost empty bar make a connection. If only he could get over his past. Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader (very slight) Warnings: A few mentions of Bucky’s past as the Winter Soldier (but nothing too graphic), alcohol, blood, and the anxiety and negative feelings/self doubt about himself he has afterwards. As always, if I miss any triggers please let me know! Notes: This is just a little, short Bucky thing I wrote. I hope you like it. Thank you to @thesundrop / @astartothemoon for my divider! Not beta’d, so any mistakes are my own.

Will this be continued? Let’s see, LMAO.

“Rough night, huh?” Bucky looks up and sees the face of the bartender staring back at him. A small smile plays on her lips. Bucky feels himself blushing. So much for being understated. That’s why he came to this bar, one away from his apartment, in the first place. This is a place where nobody knows him, and where he can just be Bucky Barnes for a while. Not the Winter Soldier, and not the monster. At least they can’t see his metal arm. At least the bartender is cute, though. He glances at the name tag on her shirt that reads “Y/N”.

“It’s that easy to tell, huh?” he chuckles awkwardly. But then again, it’s not too difficult to assume that a man like him would be sitting alone in an almost empty bar on a Tuesday night. Especially not when they look as tired and haunted as Bucky does. Honestly, he’s surprised she hasn’t said anything by now. He braces himself for a probing question. Instead, though, she simply shrugs.

“Nah, not really. Haven’t seen you around, and you’ve been knocking a lot of those back. It was pretty obvious something’s up.” Oh. Yeah, that’ll do it. “I will say, though, you can hold your liquor much better than our regulars. That’s a pretty big achievement.” She praises. Of course, Y/N has no idea that the reason Bucky doesn’t feel the effects of alcohol is because of the serum. The same one that was forced upon him all those years ago. He wishes he does feel the effects, though. That way, he could have something to block out everything he’s been through. All the pain, all the fear, all the bloodshed…he wouldn’t remember a thing. That would be perfect.

Instead, though, Bucky chuckles, forcing the same smile as he always does. The one he uses to mask all his pain and torment. “Well, thanks.” He lifts the bottle to his lips, drinking the last remnants of his beer. “You’re good at guessing, huh?”

“I know almost everything there is to know about people in here.” She replies, sliding over another beer, which Bucky graciously accepts. “It comes with the job. Either that, or I just make up an exciting story. It’s a good way to pass the time when the place is practically empty and I’m bored.” She admits, and they both laugh. “What’s your name then, stranger?”

“Bucky.”

“Nice to meet you, Bucky.” Y/N smiles. She holds her hand out over the bar, which Bucky shakes. “I’m Y/N. If you couldn’t already tell from the name tag, that is.” Bucky finds himself wondering what it would be like to know Y/N outside of work, to know what stories she has to tell, and the things she’s seen.

“She’s just being nice to you because she has to. It’s her job. Who says she’d want to go out with you?” A little voice in his head tells him. The same one who tells Bucky every day that he should’ve died on that train. Then he wouldn’t be so messed up now. Bucky takes another swig of his beer, hoping that somehow, this time, it works, and that those voices will go away.

If only things really worked like that.

“Oh I wanna see this. What about that man in the corner?” Bucky asks after scanning the room, trying desperately to change the subject and distract himself.

“Well, he’s only ordered a few drinks.” She furrows her brows, deep in thought. Bucky finds himself smiling once more. “I say he’s secretly a millionaire, trying to blend in and find some poor, lowly worker to surprise with his fortune. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking on my part.” Y/N laughs awkwardly. “Then I wouldn’t be stuck in this job.” She murmurs. The disappointment and heartbreak in her voice makes Bucky sigh. Sure, he’s only just met Y/N tonight, but she’s been one of the few to actually speak to him for more than a few minutes. It’s part of her job, but after so long of being tortured, having his mind wiped and being unwanted, having a conversation with someone who doesn’t know who he is is a nice change. Someone who treats him like a human being, rather than immediately thinking about what he did for so many years.

It means more to him than she’ll ever know. If he could, he’d give her anything she wants. “Anyway, how about you?”

“Hm?”

“What do you think his story is?”

“Oh! Um, I don’t know. I say he’s looking for something, hoping he’ll find it here. Maybe the love of his life.” Y/N smiles.

“Ahh, so you’re a romantic then?” Y/N winks, and Bucky nods. At least, he used to be. Now, though, after going through everything he has, Bucky has lost hope in his romantic conquests. People like him don’t deserve any love or companionship.

Y/N and Bucky spend the next few hours talking, making up stories about the others in the bar. Surprisingly, both of them are getting along pretty well, and have a lot more in common than expected. That is, however, until: “Can I guess what your story is?” Y/N asks. Bucky’s eyes widen. She cannot know about his past. Y/N studies him, biting her lip slightly as she looks over him. “I think you might be looking for something new, too. Maybe a connection.” She explains after a while. She grins, and Bucky feels his heart rate rising. “But I also think you’re a bit of an enigma, Bucky. For all I know, you could be a spy.” Oh, if only she knew.

“Can I try to guess what your story is?” Bucky asks. Y/N’s face falls, her smile gone. Immediately, Bucky feels guilty. “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean any-”

“No, no. It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Y/N shakes her head, waving her hands in dismissal. “Finding out about people is my job. You don’t have to worry about that.” She chuckles. Yet still, Bucky can tell there’s something there. Something she doesn’t want anyone to know about. And he’s just walked right in and brought all those bad feelings to the surface. His guilt increases. He’s ruined everything again, just like he always does. Maybe the voice was right. Maybe he doesn’t deserve a friend like Y/N after all.

Quickly, Bucky gets up, placing some bills on the bar. “Well, I better go. I think it’s time for me to go to bed.”

“Wait, you’re going? You don’t have to Bucky, it’s-“

“No, it's fine! Honestly, I’ve taken up enough of your time. Keep the change, alright?” Y/N tries to argue back, to stop him. But Bucky is already at the door to the bar before she can stop him. As his hand reaches out, touching the doorknob, for a moment Bucky stops. And he wonders whether he should stay. He almost turns back, back to Y/N and to his new beginning, his new chance for friendship. But then he remembers everything he’s done, and how he can’t drag Y/N into his messy, bloodstained life.

And so, Bucky opens the door and steps into the cold New York air.

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#bucky barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #Bucky Barnes x female reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #marvel oneshot #the falcon and the winter soldier fanfiction

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cardierreh15 · 1 year

Text

Wet Dreams

I do not give anyone permission to repost or copy my work!!!

Warnings 18+: Cursing , Smut , Public Sex , Affair (Cheating) , Biting , Begging , Masturbation (Female Giving) , Doggy Style , Oral (Male Receiving) , Hair Pulling , Facial CumShot , Vocal Male (we love a loud male don’t we)

Description: Walter finds himself daydreaming about his best friend’s gorgeous wife.

Pairing: Walter Marshall x Amarilla (Black!Plus Size Female)

Word Count: 2.5K

Song: Funny How Time Flies - Janet Jackson

Walter covered his yawn with a fist pressed to his gaped mouth. Between this case that just seem to never-ending and not getting an ample amount of sleep every night, he was dragging ass. Everyone around him just became blurbs that happened to walk and talk.

Frankly, the only time he didn’t feel so exhausted was when he was spending time with his daughter, Faye. He didn’t get to spend much time with her anyway but when he did, all of his focus belonged to her.

Walter soon found himself in the break room making himself his 4th cup of coffee that day. With no real remembrance of how he even got here in the first place.

‘Another one?’ His coworker, Linda asked with a smirk. She was walking over to do just the same thing. ‘Demanding day I see.’

‘Mmmm.’ He hummed nodding as he sipped on that freshly brewed coffee.

‘How’s that case coming along?’

‘Do you really wanna know?’ He asked in a less than amused tone.

‘Nah. Just wanted to make conversation.’ She giggled before pushing the blinking button on the coffee maker.

Walter smirked and shook his head, ‘Hmph.’ He huffed and left the break room.

***

The sound of ringing phones, chattering, stapling and flipping papers filled the air around him. It was enough to drive someone insane and to be honest, it was really hard to think this way.

He began to click the end of his pen vigorously, clenching his jaw together. And as the seconds ticked on, the more his nerves began to split. But by the grace of God, his name was called and suddenly, he was distracted all over again.

Looking back over his shoulder, Walter glared at the detention officer tiredly, ‘You have someone here waiting for ya.’

‘Wha?’ He asked himself as he stood up from his seat and followed the officer back towards the front desk. And there, he saw someone he never thought he’d see here.

‘Amarilla?’ Walter stood there dumbfounded for a second as the woman wrote down on the sign in sheet.

The gorgeous woman looked up at him with a charming and bright smile. ‘Walter! Hi!’ She scooped up a medium sized wooden basket with her right arm, and slung her left arm around his waist in a friendly hug.

Walter’s tiredness had seem to vanish for the moment as he beamed with happiness. It had been some time since he’d seen her last and she hadn’t changed much. She still had that gorgeous gingerbread colored skin that was adorned with cute little freckles across her nose. Her smile enchanted him and her pools of honey orbs bewitched him.

He returned the friendly side hug and looked down at her, ‘what are you doing here?! Where’s Matt?’ He looked up at the door to see if he was waiting outside.

‘He ain’t here. Is there somewhere would could talk?’ She asked as her head fell to the side and her left hand rest on her popped out hip.

‘Yeah. Of course come on,’ the two began to walk together down the hall, ‘It ain’t the best but it is quiet.’ He chuckled and the two caught up on their short journey.

***

‘Anyway, how’s Faye? And Angie? You know the last time we saw them that lunatic you put away was running around hurting people.’ She asked as she walked inside of the interrogation room. Then, she placed the wooden basket on the cool metal table and pulled her body up and sat down on the cool top.

‘Well, Faye is getting brattier by the year. Just goes to show that she belongs to me,’ he chuckled and then walked into the room. He then shut the door behind him and locked it. ‘And Angie is… Angie.’

As he approached her, he took the time to truly look her over. His tired eyes roamed over her curvy body. And since his brain was lagging from lack of sleep, his eyes lingered in certain spots longer than usual.

He watched as her chest rose and fell with each breath; causing her cleavage in her dress to spill over just a little more when she exhaled. The image caused a lump to grow in his throat and his mouth to salivate. Damn, you are delicious. He thought to himself.

Then, his eyes dropped to her stomach, her hips and thighs. He was just drinking her in.

‘Walt?’

He jumped, blinking slowly as his eyes finally shifted back up towards her and focused, ‘I’m… sorry, Amarila. Long nights. Long days.’

‘I believe it!’ Her head fell to the side as she cross her right leg over the other and rest her hands back against the table. ‘Are you just having trouble getting to bed or?’

‘Mostly…’ he said as he rubbed his face and folded his arms together.

Amarilla hummed softly, ‘hmm.’ And sized him quickly. Suddenly, she smirked — and then a twinkle beamed in her eye. ‘I think I may have the remedy for tiredness.’ And she carefully hopped off the table.

‘Listen, I have melatonin prescribed to me. At a dangerous amount might I add… anything you give me wouldn’t—‘

She walked up to him, slow and sensual. Her hips swaying with each step. Then, she pressed her acrylic nail against his lips. ‘Shhhh… when are you gonna learn… western medicine could never do the job which is why they keep having you go back so you can get more until it kills you…’ her voice was warm… sexy. ‘I have a more— natural remedy… one that’s been able to put Matt to bed quite a few times.’

Walter stared down at her, a little uncomfortable at the fact that she had those big pretty breasts pressed against his abdomen. And being that she was this close to him in such a wanting manner, he knew exactly what remedy she had.

The seductress grabbed his arm that was folded against his chest, and placed his large hand on her ass.

‘Awww damn.’ Walter groaned with his head falling back. ‘Amarilla, what are you doing?’ But he didn’t dare take his hand from that spot.

‘I’m helping a friend,’ her head fell to the side as she licked her full lips, ‘I’d do anything for my friends… and you are my friend,’ she reached down and caressed his slowly growing member through his jeans. ‘Aren’t you Walter?’

He let out a shuddered breath at her touch and then looked down at her, ‘Yes… I am.’

‘Good.’ She said as she grinned up at him.

He just stared down at her as she leaned up to kiss him. And soon enough, he’d met her half way and their lips crashed into one. He’d let out a slow exhale through his nose as she took all the breath from his lungs with that kiss.

But just because he was breathless didn’t mean he was dead. He held on to her ass, slowly digging his fingers into it; gripping her. His other hand roamed up her waist and his finger tips grazed her soft cleavage.

Once the kiss was broken, his lips found a new warmth. He kissed beneath her jaw, then the nape where her neck met her shoulder. There, he placed a gentle bite. And doing so, earned him a feverish moan to escape her lips, ‘ahhh.’

Walter throbbed in his pants at her reaction. Lord have mercy he just wanted to make her his. Forget the fact that she didn’t belong to him but, he wanted her more than he ever wanted someone.

She reached down between them with her right hand and began to unbuckle his belt and pants; while her other hand guided his chin back up so she could indulge on his lips once more. Once the obstacle course of his pants were out of the way, she didn’t hesitate to pull his veiny, throbbing member out of his pants and give it a gentle squeeze.

‘Mmm.’ Hummed Walter.

Amarilla let out a playful giggle and started to give him slow teasing strokes.

Walter hissed as she massaged at his erection. ‘Mmmm. Damn, Amarilla. This is so bad.’ He groaned as his head fell back, covering his face with his hands to muffle his calls.

‘It’s not. I’m only doing a friend a favor remember?’ She mewed out softly.

‘Fuck.’

‘Let me do the honors of making you feel good… from one friend.. to another.’ Then she slowly, carefully got on her knees before him.

Walter watched her, his chest heaving heavily as he was trying to piece all of this together and catch his breath.

He was massive. Hung and with unreleased seed that was waiting to be planted somewhere. Her eyes didn’t show a single ounce of fear or doubt. She opened her pretty little mouth and wrapped her lips around his uncut member.

Walter closed his eyes, ‘ahhhh…’ he moaned, ‘shit.’

She bobbed her head slowly on his length, allowing her cheeks and lips to get use this foreign object. Damn, Matt wasn’t as nearly as big as this. I better be careful. She thought to herself as she rest her hands on his thighs and gave them a gentle squeeze.

He looked down at her, his tired eyes now darkened with pure want and lust. He reached down, running his fingers through her pretty, freshly done twists. Then, he gripped them and started bobbing her head faster. ‘Ugggh, fuck. That pretty mouth feels so fucking good.’

Amarilla suddenly found herself shoving him deeper and deeper in her mouth and soon, she’d lost control and he began to thrust. Reaching down to grab her chin so she wouldn’t move, he kept trying to push her limits by bit by bit touching the back of her throat. And when it became too much for her, she placed her hands on his thighs and pulled away.

She gasped as she tried to catch her breath. His dick was coated in thick, sticky spit. So her being her, she went back in; allowing him to fuck her mouth as he saw fit.

Though she kept having to pull away so she could breathe, she found it sexy as hell how he would get so close to his finish but abort mission.

‘I want to feel you first. You’re just too pretty not to fuck.’

She grinned, wiping the corner of her lips with her thumb. He then reached down and brought her up to her feet. Without a moment to spare, he kissed her one more time. ‘Turn around.’ He demanded.

At his command, Amarilla turned her back on him, her big round ass pressed against his cock. Playfully, she bent over before him, her arms stretched out on the metal desk before them.

Lifting her body con fitted dress, he was marveled at this wonderful sight. She had a cute little heart tattoo on her right ass cheek. ‘That’s cute.’ He chuckled.

‘What?’ She asked, genuinely confused.

‘Your tattoo. I think it’s cute.’

‘Oh, Tehehe. Thanks!’

He pulled her panties off of her hips before she looked back, ‘You can take those home with you… may help you sleep good on other nights.’ She giggled.

‘Hmm,’ he smirked, ‘don’t mind if I do.’ And he shoved them in his back pocket for safe keeping.

Walter casually reached down to grab his member and press it against her wet slit. Desperately, she wiggled her hips back against him and he couldn’t help but sink within her. ‘Uhhhhhh— fuck—‘ he was damn near fighting his way in!

‘Oooohhhh yes.’ She moaned out, her eyes slightly rolling back and drifting close. A familiar numbness covered her body like an invisible shroud. And as soon as he began to thrust, she could already feel the impending orgasm brewing in her lower belly.

Resting his large hands on her waist, he slightly dug his hands in her. He wanted to make sure she wouldn’t try to crawl away from him. He needed her more than she could imagine right now. ‘Mmm! Mmm! Damn this pussy is so good! You’ve been hiding this from me!’ He said through gritted teeth, slamming his hips into her.

‘Uggghh! Yes! Please don’t fucking stop! Augh!’ She begged; looking back at him with puppy like eyes, her voice soft but menacingly.

With his hips ramming into hers, their sound echoed around in that small room. It sounded as if there was a single applause by they were the only ones there and no one was clapping.

Amarilla took it upon herself at one point and threw her ass back against him as he thrusted forward. And that was the icing on the cake. It didn’t take Walter long to finally succumb to her.

His knees buckled, and his thrusts became staggered, messy. His eyebrows tugged into one and his teeth clenched together. ‘Ugh! I’m gonna— I’m gonna …—‘ he pulled out of her in a hurry and pulled her down to her knees.

Mouth wide open and her tongue sticking out flat, she waited for Walter to create a masterpiece on her face.

Walter stroked his member a few times over her face, ‘Ugh! Ugh yeah… I’m there baby. Hold it!’ He let a loud god calling groan as he sprayed his seed on her pretty face. Completely emptying himself of what he had brewed up for a long time. ‘Ugggghhhh shiiiit.’

With that load, he was bound to get her pregnant.

She reached up and stroked him the rest of the way, squeezing out any left over cum he didn’t get out. She finally swallowed whatever that got in her mouth, and licked the left overs off of her thumb. ‘Mmmm.’ She moaned softly as she looked up at him happily.

Walter was too busy trying to catch his breath, and staring down at her in pure amazement.

‘Good Job my friend… now you’ll be able to sleep good tonight.’ She cheered happily.

‘Oh, thank you… so much… could I call you if I’m having anymore trouble?’ He said still trying to regain his composure.

‘Of course, Walter,’ she stood up and grabbed a napkin out of the picnic basket. ‘That’s what friends are for… to be there for each other.’ She then shot him a wink.

—

‘Walt, Walter? Hey? Anybody home?!’ She asked waving her hand over her friends tired eyes.

He had seem to blink himself out of a trance— a daydream of some sort. ‘Oh… sorry just— extremely tired…’ he groaned softly as he folded his arms and sat down at the table.

‘How often do you get rest?’ Amarilla asked with concern.

‘Not as often as I should, Amarilla…’

The room grew quiet for a moment, he was getting lost in the thought of sleep now… until—

‘I think I can help out with that.’ She said looking back at him over her shoulder with daring eyes.

Walter looked up at her and swallowed his spit. ‘Wha— what do you mean?’

‘Oh, don’t worry… it’s completely healthy… and 100% vegan.’

#henry cavill #walter marshall x black reader #Walter Marshall x Black!plus size female oc #Walter Marshall x Black!plus size female #Walter Marshall #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x black!female reader #henry cavill x plus size reader #walter marshall fanfic #Walter Marshall Smut

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0i8ma · 2 years

Text

ST☆RBOY — yjw (discontinued)

synopsis. you had a classmate named yang jungwon who was always adored by the teachers. every day, he received a star from each of his teachers simply for being a sweet and quiet child. you often think about him ever since he transferred to a new school, referring to him as starboy in your thoughts. and it so happens that he transfers to your school a decade later.

pairing. jungwon + fem!reader

cast. enhypen, yuna + ryujin from itzy, ningning + karina from aespa, wonyoung from ive, more to be added

genre. classmates to lovers, crack, fluff, a LITTLE bit of angst, social media au

warnings. swearing, LOTS OF SWEARING. inappropriate jokes, jokes about offing urself/someone, different pictures of pinterest girls as yn (yn is you, imagine her as you or however/whoever you want.) ignore timestamps PLEASE. super duper slow updates, lmk if i missed anyth!

tags. #ST☆RBOY — #✰: starboy!

taglist. taglist 1 — taglist 2 — taglist 3

author's note. don't expect me to finish this pls lmao 💀 let's just hope this is a short smau so i can finish quickly. anyways inspired by the weeknd's song (starboy)

walking lgbtqs || die hard the weeknd stans

I. new cute boy [ + written ]

II. familiar face

III. star fucking boy ?! [ + written ]

IV. nah bro

V. hey starboy [ written ]

+ more to be added ! ( titles of each part might change )

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deus-ex-mona · 1 year

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LIPxLIP and the Filming of the New Year’s Special Programme: Chapter 6

the host definitely shipxships it

previous part (chapter 5)

next part (chapter 7)

Aizo: (Some of the stuff we had to find were rather ridiculous, but… we’re finally at the final item, huh.)

Just as the faintest sight of the final checkpoint came into view, Aizo turned around to look behind him.

Aizo: (Huh…? Yujiro’s gone. He’s been following me pretty closely for the entire time, though.)

Aizo stopped in place and looked back towards the way he came for a moment. Eventually, the distant figure of Yujiro emerged from far down the path.

Aizo: (Well… His physical capabilities are lower than mine to begin with, and he’s wearing a hakama, and there’s a camera filming us the entire time. It’s no wonder he’s lagging behind, I guess.)

Aizo: (He’ll have to run up a slight incline in the path… around here…)

Aizo: (Ah…? Wait, no, isn’t he running kinda weirdly?)

Aizo: Sorry guys! I’ll be right back!

Having spoken those words to the camera, Aizo headed back down the path. When he regrouped with Yujiro, however, the latter heaved a sigh of annoyance.

Yujiro: Hey, are you even taking this race seriously?

Aizo: Now’s not the time for that. Lemme see.

Aizo crouched down by Yujiro’s feet. As he had expected, there were blisters on Yujiro’s feet, which had been caused by his sandals.

Aizo: You’re bleeding. Aren’t you supposed to be used to wearing sandals like these?

Yujiro: Shut it. The size of the sandals that the programme staff had prepared for me was just a little off.

Yujiro: I figured that it’d be fine if the most we did was light exercises. Though I never expected them to make us go on a long-distance run.

Aizo: Why didn’t you say something sooner? …Hey, staff!

The staff members, whom Aizo had called out to, helped Yujiro to patch up his feet. In addition to that, they gave Yujiro another set of shoes to change into, and they were able to resume the race.

Host: Hmm, our staff sure dropped the ball on this one, didn’t they? I’m so sorry, Yujiro!

Host: To all you viewers out there, I’d like to apologise… for worrying you.

Host: Though, Aizo was the very first one to notice that something was off with Yujiro… I guess they really are two halves of a whole, after all.

Such were the words that the host had spoken from the studio, while Aizo and Yujiro took a short break with the camera turned off.

Host: At this rate, don’t tell me… They’ll even reach the goal together in an unprecedented occurrence on this show?!

Yujiro & Aizo: …

Aizo: …I don’t approve of jokes like that, not even by a single bit.

Yujiro: That’s my line.

Aizo: Y’know, you’re the one who started it all back at the first checkpoint by giving me that weird advice.

Aizo: So to say that we don’t care for each other would be—

Yujiro: What are you going on about? Had I not given you that hint, you’d still be struggling at the first checkpoint at this very moment.

Aizo: Ugh… That’s low…!

Aizo: (He really isn’t cute~!)

Staff: Hey LIPxLIP! We’re about to resume the filming!

Yujiro & Aizo: Got it!

Aizo: In any case, we should make it our priority to end the stream on an exciting note.

Aizo: There’s no way you’re gonna retire, hm?

Yujiro: Of course I won’t. …Don’t patronise me.

They quickly got into position to resume the rest of the run.

Aizo: (The host said that thing about us reaching the goal at the same time earlier, but… there’s no way that that’s gonna happen, right…?)

Aizo: (No way… But that would make things more exciting, right…? Nah, nope… of course they won’t…)

Such thoughts coursed through Aizo’s mind as he ran towards his destination, namely the piece of paper with the final item written on it. Shortly after Aizo arrived at the checkpoint, Yujiro reached it as well.

Yujiro: …Hurry up and pick one. You got here first.

Aizo: I’ll do it, even if you didn’t tell me to.

Host: Whether tears will be shed, or smiles will be shared, we’re finally at the last spurt! What’ll happen to the race between the two of LIPxLIP…?

Aizo unfolded the paper as the broadcasted audio from the studio drifted into his ears.

Aizo: (And the item I’ll have to get this time is… Eh?!)

#aizo vs hakama #just honeypre things #sorrrryyyyy if the words and stuff seem kinda weird i m b e a t !#i'll edit it later... maybe (hardly ever edits stuff despite this tag)#i'd say 'goodnight' but it's now 6 in the morning so... good morning!!!!!!!!!!

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dgknightblue · 8 months

Text

Grif as a cat, Simmons as a bird?

Donut is a bird.

Sarge is a dog.

Lopez is either a robot dog (toy with batteries) or a squeak toy.

I don’t know.

How about animal people? Nah. Regular cats it is.

Grif is still a short, fat cat with fluffy fur.

Simmons is a sleeker cat.

Donut is a short puffball type of cat. (He’s a dog)

“Are you sure you’re not a dog, donut?”

“I keep telling you guys I’m a type of cat!”

No that won’t work….

Sarge is very old with bad eye sight.

The blues are also types of cat.

Wait, how about a mix of dogs and cats instead of just cat wars?

Wild:

Grif (cat)

Kai (cat)

Tucker (—-)

Church (—-)

Has/ Had homes:

Simmons (cat)

Donut (bird)

Caboose (dog)

Sarge (dog)

Doc is an animal that looks like the mix of cat and dog but is neither cat nor dog. I forget what it’s called, but there are a few animals that are their own thing.

Trans cat Simmons is when his owners don’t know what his gender is, but Simmons excepts that he’s a boy with boy pronouns and his name is Richard. He adopted his owners last name because he likes it.

I don’t know how this works but Church was a test animal. Okay that’s dark and I don’t know how that’d work. Carolina and Wash are humans.

Caretakers or something?

I don’t know.

I mean Tucker isn’t the only one with kids in this.

Someone came into (animal daycare? Foster home? Something with people dropping animals off I guess) with a small bag of catnip.

Catnip can get a cat in a type of “mood”. Don’t do catnip especially if you don’t have an significant other or you could end up with a street cat and a litter they don’t plan on supporting!

Some of those cats that got effected were Simmons and Grif and they were trapped in the closet.

Turns out Simmons never got fixed. Then he got upset when the humans started using the wrong pronouns because he’s always been a he, why change now? It doesn’t feel right.

Complicated feelings between Grif and Simmons during it all. Still, Grif made sure to bring extra food and cuddle more (more than he was cuddling before, which is hard because he cuddle Simmons a lot).

I don’t know. I have two OCs in the making that are Simmons two daughter he adopted and translating them to this AU doesn’t mean I have to think about a name still.

I still don’t have a name for either of them.

Blugh whatever.

Simmons has prosthetic limbs because he had an “accident” when he with his previous owners before his current ones (maybe) or he was dropped off and never picked up. He was dropped off in a box outside (Grif was the one pawing at the door and meowing to get someone’s attention because Simmons was going to die in that box) and needed an operation.

Grif looks jacked up because he’s a street cat and got in a fight with another cat to protect his sister. His fur mostly covers the scars.

Simmons and Grif have an on and off attraction towards each other and it gets messy after the catnip incident. Simmons had disappeared for a while after putting on some weight.

He comes back thinner but doesn’t seem to eat with the others anymore. Another time he looks sad and they don’t know, only the vet knows.

A couple of weeks later and Simmons is a little happy again. Until they find out he had a kitten. Two kittens.

One is older than his newest one. They look at Grif.

“Uh….. Simmons. Why the fxck didn’t you tell me?”

“I thought you knew! That’s why you were acting clingy weren’t you?”

“That was after care!”

“For months?”

“…”

Grif dodged the question by purring. Simmons settled down after that. He likes it when Grif lays next to him and purr. It also put the kittens to sleep.

“Ah shxt that’s kind of cute!”

Also I can’t decide if I want the Chorus crew to be humans or animals. Human Jensen and Palomo maybe, Volleyball and Andersmith? Kimball?

Simmons still fears snakes, especially because of his “accident”.

Grif has his own reason to fear bats even though they couldn’t be anywhere near him inside a building. A clean building with no cracks.

Something.

#fanfiction #au #cute #red vs blue #rvb Simmons #rvb grif #rvb sarge #rvb donut #rvb caboose #rvb church #rvb Tucker #rvb Kai #grimmons #cat and dog au #animal au

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mymelodyisme · 1 year

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OMG but Mys tells Shane about all the magical stuff she’s been getting into and he’s like-

“You’re fuckin with me, Dotty,” he scoffed, “you’re really trying to convince me you can use magic?”

Mys pressed her hands to her hips and pouted, “well, yeah! I can do a few things now. It’s been really helpful when I go mining.”

“Right…”

Shane didn’t believe her. He’d been living in the valley his entire life and had never once witnessed the existence of magic.

Mys began pulling at the hood strings of his jacket, she was somewhat giddy.

“Lately Razzy’s been teaching me how to make potions from the earth’s natural resources. I can bring you a few and we can play around with them! I’ve got one that can turn your skin blue for a few minutes-“

“Got a love potion in that mix?” Shane asked with a snarky grin.

He didn’t know why he had chosen to name a love potion of all things, but in that moment it made the most sense. It was one of the more famous potions in the world, maybe Mys could actually have one.

She pulled away abruptly and looked into his deep green eyes, she was stern and very serious.

“I do. But I can’t let you try it otherwise you’ll fall madly in love with the first person you see, and… well… you know how that goes.”

If he took it then and there, he would see her.

Would that really be so bad?

Shane started looking around as if listening closely to their surroundings.

He leaned in close, “Gummy, did your voice change? Cause… you’re suddenly sounding like… a whole ass chicken,” he began to bawk at her mockingly.

Mys immediately turned red. She clearly was not enjoying being mocked. She huffed and looked towards her bedroom.

“Fine! Fine I’ll go get it.”

She left the room, the sounds of opening chests and clinking glasses could be heard shortly thereafter.

“Where did I put it?,” she growled in frustration.

Shane smiled to himself. Mys was the most disorganized organized person he ever met. He thought it was cute.

She suddenly came running back in holding a small pink heart shaped bottle.

“That’s very on brand for you, isn’t it, sweetheart?”

Mys froze, her face softening as if she hadn’t just been on a rampage, “say that again.”

He loved it when she did that.

“My sweetheart is so demanding,” he tilted her face up at him.

“I am very much so,” she lifted the body between them, “Now, does this prove anything to you?”

He takes the bottle out of her hands and looks it over, “nah I think I have to test it.”

Her eyes went wide, “oh honey, that’s a bad idea give it back.”

“Make me,” he grinned popping off the top.

“Shane!” Mys swatted at him trying to take the small bottle back, but Shane held it higher over her head.

“You’re so damn short, Mys.”

“I’m not that much shorter than you!”

“A head’s still a fuckin head.”

Shane watched her struggle with delight written all over his face. She could’ve easily gotten it by now, but she was so focused on the fact that he had what she didn’t want him to have, that she didn’t remember she could easily bend him to her tiny pink will.

He was so amused by her behavior that he didn’t notice her hand swatting the bottle right over him.

Mys gasped. He was drenched.,

Some type of liquid dripped down from his head to his shoulders.

“Shit!” Mys quickly covered her mouth. She didn’t usually swear. Shane blushed.

But that’s not all that he did.

He stood there quite shocked for a minute. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be feeling. Maybe he had been right and Mys was duped by the wizard. Or maybe she…

Oh god.

Just as he began to have doubts he noticed a strong familiar scent surrounding him.

It was her.

Or rather whatever had spilled on him smelled exactly like her.

Shane shut his eyes. It was somewhat overwhelming. It felt like she was all over him. His mind went to the gutter.

“Oh Shane, that was stupid of me,I’m so sorry,” Mys’s voice popped into his ears, “let me help you get cleaned up.”

She grabbed his hand and led him down to the couch.

Maybe it was the intoxicating scent, or the fact that she may have been right, but Shane felt his hand clam up in hers. He was beginning to grow nervous.

Why was he getting so nervous? She was just his best friend?

Right?

Mys sat him down and started wiping his head with her handkerchief. Her face twisted. The smell overwhelming her too, but Shane didn’t notice this. Mys was, perhaps, a little too close to him. He resisted the urge to grab her waist.

“You okay, handsome?”

Their eyes met. He couldn’t bring himself to speak. For the first time in his entire life. Shane found himself fully unable to grasp his feelings. Actually, that was a lie. He often found he didn’t know how to feel when he was with Mys.

He began to think, that maybe, the potion wasn’t a potion at all. Perhaps, it was just a ruse, it likely was just her perfume.

So Shane began to consider that possibly…

Maybe…

He kind of liked her.

“Shane, are you mad at me?”

Her voice brought him back into the situation. Even as he was drowning, she was right there in his ear.

In his face.

He grabbed her face suddenly. Mys squealed. Shane held her there so close, as if examining her.

He was trying to find an answer, he already had but just couldn’t access no matter how many epiphanies he could squeeze out of himself.

“You okay there, lemon drop?,” she asked with a nervous laugh, “you’re getting kind of close.”

“Mys.”

His eyes were glowing, she was never more confused. Scared even. Not of him. But for him. She wanted Shane. She knew she needed to keep him in her life. But she was never going to force him to be who she wanted him to be.

That’s why-

“I think I…” he began to lean in.

She put a stop to that instantly.

She pressed her hand to his mouth. A deep sadness taking over her for a moment.

“That wasn’t a love potion,” she admitted quickly.

Silence.

“And I’m not going to take advantage of you Shane. Ever.”

Shane stared at her, his eyes were now equally sad, Mys thought that maybe he was upset with her for being so cruel and allowing him to actually think he had fallen in love with her. It was also cruel to hope that he might.

“I really am sorry, Shane. I didn’t mean to make things weird. Are we still friends?”

She removed her hand from his lips. Oh, if Shane had the guts he’d have kissed her anyways. He would have kissed her so. Many. Times.

But he couldn’t bring himself to explore that urge.

He wanted to.

He should have.

But he couldn’t.

And yet-

“I love you.”

The words slipped out so quickly, so naturally, Shane hadn’t register they were his words until Mys had reacted.

“What?”

Shane had just said he loved her. Did he really mean that?

“I…,” he quickly began to correct his loss of tongue, “I mean… you’re my best friend, Mys. And I love you, because of that.”

Ouch. That pressed on her heart. Everything was as it always would be, as it had always been, and as it shall continue to be.

“And I… love you.”

She meant it. She had always meant it.

“Now let’s get you cleaned up, please. You smell like me and it’s giving me a headache.”

Shane pulled her onto his lap and grinned, “oh you don’t like it? What if I do this?”

Shane rubbed his wet hair into her neck. She began to laugh, to scream, and tried to break herself free.

“NO! SHANE!”

He laughed, and pulled himself back, “fine I’ll take a bath, but you have to be there with me.”

“You, sir, are getting far too comfortable with my being there when you’re nude.”

“You know that you’re curious.”

“Save it for our honeymoon, handsome.”

Shane’s eyes sparkled. Just the idea of marrying her made his head spin, he wasn’t used to that. He didn’t understand it. He blushed.

“I’m just joking,” she said as she cupped his face.

“Yeah… I figured.”

#shane stardew valley #sdv shane #stardew shane #😭 my head hurts I’m sorry if this one came out way worse than the others #myshane♥️#if you see any spelling mistakes or grammar errors no u didn’t #LOL I DIDMT REALIZE HOW LONG IT EAS I SHOULD HABE NIST POSTED OT TO AP3 #SCREAMINF

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morallygreyyn · 1 year

Text

my 2022 anime list

disclaimer: please don’t make assumptions about me and my taste in anime based off of this list. this is literally just watch i watched this year.

so i’m really just making this for me to keep tabs on what i watched throughout the year so feel free to ignore this! if for some reason you do read this and see anything here you like i’m always down for a chat about anime!

this is all the anime (new and old) that i watched in 2022 (in order bc i’m that bitch):

the case study of vanitas (6/10):

a solid anime. loved vanitas and noe and their designs were gorgeous. deffo want to get back into it as i fell out of it a while ago

demon slayer (7.5/10):

favourite character(s):

giyu tomioka and zenitsu agatsuma

nah bc the way i was so skeptical of this bc of all the hype so i put it off for aggeess but then i got sick and binged the entire thing within a few days. literally became my life for a solid month and i can’t wait for the next season

blue period (4/10):

such a chill anime that touches on some heavier topics about identity. not the most mind-blowing or groundbreaking anime to ever exist but definitely enjoyable and it did make me want to start drawing even tho i can’t draw for shit

your name (movie) (7.5/10):

i *think* this was the first anime movie that i ever watched and it did not disappoint. animation was absolutely gorgeous and the characters made me want to weep

a silent voice (movie) (7.5/10):

your name kicked off my love for sad anime movies and i’ve never been to close to crying over anything in my life than i was with the main pairing in this damn movie

black clover (9/10):

favourite character(s):

asta, noelle and zora

bro...this one took me by surprise ngl. i thought this was just gonna be another run of the mill shonen jump anime (and don’t get me wrong, it is) but man oh man i wasn’t expecting it to be so funny. literally my sense of humour in an anime. also asta is so inspiring “as long as i don’t give up, i’ll get there eventually” may seem so basic but it struck a chord ngl

bubble (movie) (2/10):

wtf even happened in this movie. the animation was pretty ig

spy x family (7/10):

this deserved the hype, it slapped. unfortunately tho it reminds me of my ex as i used to watch it with them so my memories of it are kinda tainted

neon genesis evangelion (7.5/10):

favourite character(s):

shinji and kaworu

the living aesthetic that is this show. literal perfection until the last three episodes, wtf happened. i also need shinji and kaworu to get together like asap

the way of the househusband (6/10):

sooooo funny. kinda similar to saiki k in terms of humour and short episodes. definitely a comfort anime

to your eternity (3/10):

such an interesting premise! it has a low score bc i dropped it a while ago (idk why) so my memory of it is kinda hazy. will deffo pick it back up again in the future

cute high earth defensive club love (1/10):

don’t ask

one piece (100000/10):

favourite character(s): sanji and then every single other character to exist on the show (apart from the celestial dragons...man fuck those guys)

I was so apprehensive to start this bc it’s over 1000 episodes long but my brother eventually wore me down and oh man, i’ve never been more pleasantly surprised. easily my favourite anime now (which i never thought anything would beat my top two and i’m only 550 episodes in). it’s so funny, the characters are so lovable and the story and world is incredible. it made me cry over a boat. a freaking boat. now that’s a strong story. g8 is canon you can’t change my mind. literally ready to set sail across the seven seas rn. it’s a pirates life for me

idolish7 (tbd):

favourite character(s):

sogo, iori, riku, tenn

started this as a joke but ended up really liking it. haven’t finished it yet which is why my rating is tbd but it’s shaping up to be above a 6! the only con is nagi...god i hate nagi. also secret night by trigger was my third most played song on my spotify wrapped so yeah, this show has some bangers

heaven official’s blessing (it’s chinese but i don’t know the official term) (8.5/10):

favourite character(s):

xie lian, hua cheng, nan feng, fu yao

ah, the show that started my mxtx obsession. hua cheng is my literal aesthetic and i’ve made it my mission in life to dress like him. also him and xie lian are literal perfection. the only downside to this show was the banyue arc/backstory - it was kinda boring ngl but the scene where san lang jumped into the pit.....10000/10. also got covid for the second time a couple of hours after i finished this so it’s memorable for that too lmao. second season when?

the untamed (cdrama) (9/10):

favourite character(s):

xue yang, wei wuxian, lan wangji

riding on the high of mxtx and down bad with covid, i binged this entire series (and read the manhua) in like a couple of days. i didn’t sleep. my only thoughts were wangxian and xue yang. this also made me want to learn chinese....i even bought chinese language textbooks. now i just need to find a teacher and i’m set lmao

classroom of the elite (dnf):

ummm...so this wasn’t for me. decided to start it bc of all the hype but it missed the mark for me unfortunately. the main character is sick as shit and the premise is really cool so maybe i’ll pick it back up again in the future (i probably will) but for now i’d rather watch one piece (pls let me know if this show gets better - i really do think the premise slaps but some of the characters suck)

cherry magic! thirty years of v can make you a wizard? (drama) (7/10):

decided to watch this as i had just read the manga and oml i loved it. the romance between the main pairing is soooo sweet and the actors did such a great job

sasaki and miyano (9.5/10):

fell down the bl hole and decided to watch this.....bro....the way i fell in love with these two is not even funny. i literally adore them. no.1 comfort anime

blue lock (10/10):

favourite character(s): chigiri, isagi, bachira

never thought i’d get so hype about football but here we are. have caught myself saying “i need to watch that goal again” and then reacting in horror as i realise i’m turning into my football loving mother. but can you blame me? their monster modes? isagi and chigiri’s respective goals? literal crack for your eyes. this anime is such a unique premise for a sports anime. fuck team work, it’s kill or be killed in blue lock and i liiivveee bitch

obey me! (7/10):

favourite character(s): levi, satan, belphie

decided to watch this one as i started playing the otome game and fell in love with the characters (levi, satan and belphie specifically) and oh man was this anime hilarious. watched it all in one night. the music in this is also fire. it’s my party, sinful indulgence and on your way? absolute bangers. the bunny boy episode is my favourite for obvious reasons

fruits basket (tbd but shaping up to be a 8/10):

another one i haven’t finished yet but oh lord i don’t know why i put this one off for so long bc its so good. gives me all the fuzzy princess vibes that i want from a shojo and i couldn’t ask for more. yuki one chance please

and that’s it! i didn’t watch as much as i usually do considering one piece is a thing that i started but it’s still a record of everything i watched and what i thought of it! i honestly had so much fun making this - it’s so nice to recap on what i’ve watched throughout the year

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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 1 year

Text

Awww lol where are y'all going like out or something? Hiking or something or is it just hot xD

Ah yeah it's just hot lol xD

Oop o.o

I mean yeah like both of you have valid points of view but with hers it's about the current life and that's what Lim chose so you have to respect that

If she changes her mind in the future then she changes her mind but ://

Oop 😬

Shaun you have to just let it go

Yeeeah nahh he's not gonna xdd

True though you have to work with people you don't like sometimes lol

OOP o.o

Yes it is your responsibility xddd but more importantly OOP o.o

Also that she said no to shut up 👀👀👀😳

Dang girl xdd

I mean no need to escalate but also aight go off xdd

Anyway!!! That's it for the promo, and therefore the last thoughts :)). Now time for the. . .

REVIEW

I loved this episode! I thought it was really good :).

OKAY YES I procrastinated on this a bunch so it'll be super short to get it out before tonight xD

LIM

AGGHhh I feel so bad for herrr with that guy, UGH I knew he'd hurt her. Anyway, I'm glad she made the right choice for her :). But if it changes in the future, then it changes.

What's her face who's name I can never remember! I'm happy she talked to Lim, gave her that new perspective.

Perez! Okay, that is an okay reason lol. I'm honestly proud of him and happy for him for knowing what's right for him.

And for Jordan, I'm relieved she was okay with it. I'm also glad they're still friends :D!

Asher, yes I will be taking advantage of that whump 😌 lol. Anyway, I don't remember much about what Asher, Park, and Morgan did this episode, but yeah xdd (I just skipped through a bit for a refresher). Oh! And that scene at the beginning where he was singing with he girl was SOO cute :DDD!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰 I love him so much.

I'm glad Glassman FINALLY talked to Shaun, and supported him in the end. I'm assuming he'll really have to after Lim denying this - I don't think Shaun will take it well. Also, his and Lea's conversation <33.

Also Morgan helping Lim pick an outfit was so sweet :'DD!! That's my girls right there 🥰🥰. Also all the girls in the elevator, lol xD.

And Lea helping out with getting the bio dad!!! That was great, though poor guy for being harassed lol xDD. Nah, seriously, I'm glad they got him to get tested and donate, and it's nice that he didn't tell her right then. And Lea's talk with Shaun at the end was great :').

Park's case with the brothers was so sad :((. I'm glad it ended up working out (the best it could, anyway), and that Shaun agreed to talk to them, but it was still sad :(. It had some super sweet moments though :')

I don't remember seeing Andrews much? Besides when talking with Lim. I'm really happy and proud of him for making sure they left Lim alone about it, telling her she didn't have to stay, etc. Really good of him :).

Shaun! I think he's gonna have a really hard time accepting Lim's decision. The ending nearly made me cry - it's really, really just not freaking fair. It sucks (it sucks so much) but that's how it is. And based on the promo, he's not getting over it that easy.

Overall, I loved the episode! I thought it was really good, there were a lot of decisions made and things done by people that I really liked and am proud of them for :). Also all their costumes were AMAZING. Asher's especially was adorable, and Park's suited him really well. It just seems like the kind of costume he would wear, and I thought the gloves were fun xD. And I liked how they incorporated Halloween, even though they obviously couldn't do TOO much since it's a surgery show lol. But when you air on Halloween you can't pass that opportunity up, you know xD? Anyway, I loved the drama of that punching scene, the cases were great, and the storyline continues, but everyone's anger has dimmed a bit, which I like. Hopefully we're on the road to happy little hospital family again :).

So yeah! Great episode, and not just a good normal episode, but a great Halloween episode. I'm excited to see where the story goes next! This has been my review of. . .

The Good Doctor, Season 6, Episode 5: Growth Opportunities

It was a really good episode. I'm really excited for the next one! The title seems apt, in a literal sense that is. I'll be back next time for my review of. . .

The Good Doctor, Season 6, Episode 6: Hot and Bothered

See you then!

#the good doctor #tgd #oasis's tgd chatter #when I say literal I mena like it's literally hot and they're literally bothered xD #mostly lim and shaun but maybe everyone else too idk lol #anyway yes finally I got this out!!!#and befoee the new ep comes out lol #nice xD #aaaanyway #love you guys 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️#byeeee!!! :))) <33333

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luvdsc · 3 years

Text

august.

Bad habits are hard to break, and you’ve made a terrible one of loving him.

pairing :: liu yangyang x reader genre :: fluff, angst ⋮ best friend + college au word count :: 10,500 words warnings :: none. playlist :: time lapse (taeyeon) ⋆ 2 kids (taemin) ⋆ daydreams (exes) ⋆ sharing you (lany) ⋆ august (taylor swift) ⋆ too close to love (will hyde) ⋆ sad stripped (lany) ⋆ strangers (taemin) ⋆ the 1 (taylor swift) author’s note :: can you believe that i literally wrote this entire 10k fic in one day aka today ??? whew this gave me the same rush that i got when i wrote my research paper in the class it was due for the day of, printed it out during break, and handed it in at the end of class :’) ↳ part of the almost collaboration series.

Liu Yangyang is jumping fences to escape late night parties, shared laughter over childhood favorite cartoons on February mornings, midnight dancing in the refrigerator light, and November kisses stolen in between the shelves of the nearby 7-Eleven. He is obscure doodles in the margins of your physics notes, good intentions laced in December’s mistakes, strawberry lemonade and broken truths wrapped in summer bliss, and September endings with honest lies.

He is your August, he is your everything, but he isn’t yours.

AUGUST 2018.

August has barely begun to fade away.

You’re eighteen years old, and you’re drunk off of your first taste of freedom, one toe already dipping into the shiny pleasures of adulthood. Your new roommate, Karina, has excitedly told you about the famous beach night themed frat party that kick starts every school year at your university. Everybody who’s anybody would be there, and your heart already races at the thought of going to your very first college party.

“Coral or blue?” Karina holds up a solid colored neon blue bikini and a striped, bright pink one for you to choose between.

“Blue.” You nod towards the first option, and she discards the other one back into the open drawer. You pull out a marigold yellow one and a black one lined with white strings, wordlessly gesturing towards them, and she immediately points to the latter.

“That one is gonna look so cute on you. Well, both would, but I love that one.”

You grin at her, silently thanking whoever decided to pair the two of you together for the random dorming. “Perfect, thanks. Do you know any of the guys hosting the party?”

“Yeah, Dejun? He’s really sweet and a year above us. I met him in the music elective I’m taking.” She turns to take off her shirt and tosses it to the side, pulling on her bikini and wriggling into a pair of ripped jean shorts. “You?”

“Kind of? Jaemin is in my project group in Intro to Engineering. He’s rushing for that frat.” You quickly change out of your outfit and into your chosen swim top and daisy dukes. You make sure to grab a pair of black flip flops from your closet. The bundle of nerves in your stomach grows as you step out of your dorm with your new friend, a bit anxious but also excited to attend your very first party.

Thank goodness for summer weather. It’s still a nice, warm 75 degrees Fahrenheit according to your weather app when you and Karina finally make your way to the frat house. The sun barely begins to set, but the party slash dayger had started earlier and is in full swing. There’s a DJ set up out front, blasting some sort of EDM music, and the lawn is absolutely covered in foam. You see the source of it shakily set up on the roof of the patio along with a couple of boys sitting up there, Hawaiian shirts barely covering their figures. You catch the eye of Jaemin, who happily waves at you from his vantage point, and you wave back at him.

“Oh my god, I love college,” Karina says, grabbing your arm excitedly as the two of you step into the foam. You reach down to pick up some of it before flicking it towards your roommate, who squeals before scooping some up and throwing it in your direction as well.

“Ready for our first shitty college drink?” You pull her through the mass of other students and towards the horribly decorated tiki bar stationed in the corner of the patio.

“Hell yeah, let’s do it.”

The two of you stumble over, still throwing handfuls of foam at each other amidst giggles before making a full stop in front of the bar. The older boy behind the makeshift counter lazily grins at you both, a shell necklace hanging loosely around his neck, and his unbuttoned orange Hawaiian shirt gives you a nice flash of his toned abs.

“Hey, I’m Johnny. What can I get for you two?”

“Two vodka shots, please.”

“Alright, ID?”

You freeze, and Karina’s grip on your arm tightens, and then Johnny laughs, eyes crinkling in the corners. “Relax, I’m just messing with you, freshie. Two vodka shots coming right up.”

He pulls out two small plastic cups and pours out the drinks for you. “How many do you want?”

“This is good for now, thanks.” You and Karina pick up the drinks, smiling a little nervously at him. He flashes another amused smile at you. “Alright, come back anytime if you want another.”

You move away from the patio, and Karina follows close behind. The two of you throw back the drinks and dispose of the empty cups quickly. The burning sensation in your throat disappears after a few seconds, and you turn to your roommate. “Should we find our friends?”

“I think I see Dejun back there! Let’s go say hi, I can introduce you to him.” Karina drags you through the rising foam, the bubbles clinging to your skin, and when you go past the DJ stand, you feel the pounding bass reverberating in your chest harder than ever. You trek past the gate and into the backyard where the foam has risen to your waist, thanks to the enclosed fences. She taps on the shoulder of a boy with the prettiest almond eyes you have ever seen, and you shyly smile at him when he greets you.

“Hey, I’m Dejun.”

Oh my god, even his voice sounds pretty. Older college boys are definitely better and hotter than high school boys. Heck, they’re better than freshman boys. Nobody wants to date a freshman dude, not even the freshman girls.

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” You extend your hand, but then realize how stupid that must be. You hastily start to retract your hand, but he laughs and warmly grasps your hand. Smiling at you, he shakes it firmly, squeezing your hand gently before letting go.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.”

The butterflies in your stomach grow in volume as the conversation goes on, and you’re positively enamored by the end of the night. Karina had given you a look earlier before walking off with Dejun’s friend and joining the dancing crowd. With the addition of his phone number in your pocket and a promise to show you a new song he’s working on with his guitar next Friday, you’re walking on cloud nine.

“Do you want something to drink? I need a refill, and I can go grab you one,” he asks, and you’re about to offer to go with him, but then you remember the teasing upperclassman and simply agree, asking for another shot of vodka.

After he disappears, you look around, eyeing the crowd and wondering if you can spot your roommate anywhere. You bump into someone lightly and turn around to apologize. Your eyes meet a pair of curiously bright ones.

“Sorry about that, I’m looking for my roomie.”

The boy gives you a Cheshire Cat grin. He’s wearing one of those dumb Hawaiian shirts, too, and it’s unbuttoned, but he has a white T-shirt layered underneath it. “No biggie, it’s a massive party and it’s crowded. Who are you looking for?”

“Ah, I don’t know if you know her, but Karina? She went off with this dude, Kunhang, I think?”

His eyes light up at that name. “Oh, I know him! I saw him earlier by the keg stands inside. Your friend might be there, too. I can—”

“THE COPS ARE COMING!” A loud voice bellows, and you freeze up. Suddenly, the music is shut off as everyone starts running away. You start to panic, the terror rising in your chest, and the boy in front of you grabs your hand and pulls you with him. “What are you doing?! Don’t just stand there! We gotta go!”

“Wait, but Kar—” You start to object, but cut yourself off when you bump into his back as he abruptly stops. He scans the backyard, quickly assessing the situation before turning to you.

“There’s way too many people trapped in here, we’re not gonna make it to the gate. We need to climb over the fence. I’ll hoist you up, and you can help me up from there.”

“I don’t even know you,” you protest, and he throws you a look.

“Hi, I’m Yangyang, nice to meet you, I don’t want to get my ass hauled out by the police and continue the icebreakers in jail, so let’s move now. We good?”

“Yeah, okay, we’re good,” you say faintly, mind still whirling around as you try to grasp the situation. “I’m Y/N.”

“Great, now up you go.”

He immediately picks you up without any warning, and you almost fall backwards, arms flailing before you grasp the top of the fence and pull yourself up. Balancing precariously on top of it, you grab his arm, tugging him up until he’s sitting right next to you, too. The both of you swing your legs over the fence and jump down to the other side. You let out a sigh of relief, squatting down as you clutch your heart.

“Oh my god, we made it. I didn’t get arrested at my first party.”

“What an amazing accomplishment.” Yangyang brushes off the back of his shorts. “We aren’t going to jail. Freshman year is gonna be a breeze if your bar is set this low.”

“Hey!” You frown at him, standing up and crossing your arms over your chest. “How do you know I’m a freshman?”

“It’s written all over your face.” You give him a look, and he relents. “Only a freshman would be this scared of getting caught.”

“So are you an upperclassman?”

“Nah, this is my first party, too. I’m rushing for Nu Chi. Hold on, wait here.” He sneaks around the edge of the fence, peering around for a few seconds before jogging back towards you. “Okay, the police are over there. I’m gonna have to wait a while before going back in.”

“You have to go back?”

“Part of tonight’s rush process,” he sighs before turning to you. “Do you live on campus?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna walk back now,” you answer, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. “It’s late, and I’m not in a partying mood anymore.”

“I can walk you back,” he offers, and you shoot him a grateful smile.

“That’d be great, thanks.”

The two of you start the trek back, an awkward lull in the conversation making itself known. You wrap your arms around yourself, shivering slightly when a soft breeze picks up. There’s a light rustling noise, and you pay no mind to it until a soft cloth is draped over your shoulders. Eyes widening, you notice the colorful, palm tree-printed button down shirt wrapped around you and the boy next to you, looking straight ahead with his hands shoved into his pockets. Smiling to yourself, you slip on the shirt, loosely buttoning the front of it.

“So, Yangyang,” you casually begin, testing his name on your tongue for the first time. You decide you like it. It’s cute. He turns to you, raising an eyebrow, and you continue, “Since our lives are no longer in jeopardy, we can continue the icebreakers, right?”

His lips curve into a smile. “Alright, shoot. What’s your first question?”

“Captain America or Iron Man?”

“Oh, Iron Man, hands down. He’s so…”

You meet him in August.

FEBRUARY 2019.

“Hey, where’s your cereal? The Reese’s one?”

February marks six months of your relationship with Dejun. It also marks six months of your friendship with Yangyang. It is time for your weekly Sunday rituals of watching old cartoons and eating breakfast, and you could’ve sworn that box was still half full last week. You rummage through the top drawer Yangyang had designated for snacks and other foods in his dorm as he takes out the milk from his mini fridge and carries it over to his desk.

“I ran out a few days ago. There’s Cinnamon Toast Crunch somewhere in there though.”

With a victorious cry, you manage to pull out the slightly crushed box of the aforementioned cereal from underneath the packages of flamin’ hot Cheetos and spicy nacho Doritos and triumphantly bring it over to your best friend. He already pulls out two bowls (which were stolen from the dining hall) and hands over the plastic spoons in his grasp (which was also taken from the dining hall).

“Thanks.” After dropping a spoon into each bowl, you shake out the sugary cereal squares before pouring the milk because you’re not an absolute heathen who puts milk in first, like Sicheng. Yangyang clambers up to his top bunk bed, and you carefully pass over the two bowls of cereal, milk sloshing precariously near the edges. You climb up afterwards, and he gives you your bowl once you settle down.

“So, Scooby Doo or Pokémon?”

“Mm, we watched Pokémon last Sunday already, so let’s do Scooby Doo this time.” He nods in agreement, pulling up the cartoon from the queue in Netflix, and the two of you lean back against the ginormous mound of pillows and stuffed animals of his that occupy nearly half of his bed.

You’re shoveling a spoonful of cereal into your mouth when he casually asks, “So how’re you and Dejun doing?”

Choking slightly, you quickly swallow. “We’re doing good. I think he booked a table at the Italian restaurant down the street for Valentine’s Day. Are you doing anything for Valentine’s?”

“I’m forcing Renjun to come watch that “‘Happy Death Day’ movie with me.” The faint sounds of the Scooby Doo theme song plays in the background as you hum in acknowledgement, mouth twisting into a mischievous smirk.

“That’s so sweet. So who confessed to who? Not gonna lie, I thought you had a crush on Hyuck, not Jun.”

“... I would shove you right now, but I just did my laundry, and rewashing my comforter is expensive and I’m out of quarters.”

You stick your tongue out at him, and he rolls his eyes before lifting his bowl up to sip the best part of having Cinnamon Toast Crunch: the milk infused with all the cinnamony, sugary goodness. You let your spoon fall back into your bowl with a soft clink, a sudden worrying thought popping into your head.

“I bought him some customized guitar picks and a pretty composition book. Do you think he’ll like it?”

“That’s a pretty basic gift, isn’t it? It feels like something Kun would get him,” he teases, but his heart falls when he notices you chewing on your bottom lip, spoon held limply in your hand.

“Hey, I’m just joking, of course he would like it. He’s completely whipped. He’ll love anything from you.” Yangyang’s voice grows softer, and he fiddles with a stray thread on his comforter, avoiding eye contact with you. “I know I would.”

He looks up slightly and sees you smiling gratefully at him, eyes shining bright. He quickly ducks his head, turning away slightly to hide the hues of pink blooming on his cheeks. He feels you leaning over to rest your head on his shoulder with a quiet sigh, and his breath hitches in his throat.

“Thanks, Yang.”

Replaying the sight of your smile in his mind makes his stomach flip flop, and he resists the overwhelming urge to tell you you’re pretty, pushing it back into the farthest crevice of his mind. Your head on his shoulder makes him feel like he’s carrying the entire world, and he doesn’t know what to do. He paints on a tight smile of his own, silently hoping you can’t hear the way his heart nearly pounds out of his chest.

Yangyang knows that having feelings for his best friend, specifically one of his good friends’ girlfriends, is something he absolutely should not be doing, but he can’t help it. His stupid heart refuses to listen to his brain. For now, all he can do is desperately hope that this dumb crush of his goes away soon because while 99% of his friends are oblivious (including you), Ten and Donghyuck are not. They’ll be able to spot his feelings from a mile away, like how Kun always knows when there’s a good sale going on at the Asian supermarket downtown (This week, it was the 50% off bean sprouts and chili paste).

Letting out an inaudible sigh, Yangyang carefully rests his head on top of yours. Clutching the empty bowl with one hand, he shoves his other one under his thigh to stop himself from reaching over and tangling his fingers with yours. He stares at the screen, watching until the bright colors blur together.

“Anytime.”

He likes you in February.

AUGUST 2019.

The earth spins around the sun for another time, and August makes its presence known once again. It’s Thursday night, and you’re sitting on the countertop in Nu Chi Theta’s kitchen, swinging your legs back and forth as Yangyang struggles to make some scrambled eggs because the half filled carton of eggs the two of you managed to find is the only thing that isn’t expired (besides Jeno’s protein shakes, but neither of you are gonna touch that cardboard tasting monstrosity).

“Maybe I should make it.” You peer over at the frying pan, wincing when you see the full damage of your future meal. “Did you use oil?”

“Of course I did!” he exclaims indignantly before pitifully pushing around the nearly charred mess of yolk and whites around with his spatula. “I’m not Mark.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” you mutter, waving your hand around to dissipate the acrid burning smell, and Yangyang throws you a dirty look. He grabs a fork and stabs a small chunk of the eggs. Picking it up, he brings it closer to his mouth before hesitating. His eyes dart to you, and you raise your eyebrows at him, a silent challenge in your gaze. The sad piece of egg hovers in the air for a few more seconds before he defeatedly drops it back into the pan.

“Okay, what if we just Uber Eats some McDonald’s?” Turning off the stove, he then tosses the remnants of his cooking into the trash and drops the pan into the sink.

“Stellar plan. Best idea you’ve had all night.” You hop off the counter to stand next to him, propping your chin on his shoulder to see him pull up the app. He immediately puts in your usual order along with his before holding it up for you to see it better.

“Looks good?”

“Looks perfect.”

He clicks the confirmation button, and the delivery is set to come in 30 minutes. You’re suddenly hyper aware of how close you are with your chest pressed against his back and hastily move away, warmth spreading across your cheeks.

Glancing over at your best friend, you don't miss the way Yangyang smiles down at something on his phone before his fingers fly across the screen. When he looks up, you immediately turn away, focusing your eyes on anything but him.

“Hey, you’re going to the Alpha Sig formal, right?” Yangyang calls out, and you throw on a teasing grin.

“You mean Alpha Sigma Psi, also known as the sorority I’m in?”

“Ah, right, yeah.” He flushes, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “But you’re going, right?”

You nod, the sudden realization creeping up on you. “Oh yeah, I am, thanks for reminding me. I completely forgot to ask, but do you want t—”

“Ningning just asked me to go with her,” Yangyang blurts out, and you freeze, failing to hide your shock for a split second before you regain your composure.

“Oh wow, that’s great, Yang! I’ll see you there then.” You try to give him a convincing smile. He wrings his hands, biting his bottom lip. Something is on his mind. You can tell. He’s not someone to hold back with his words, but this time, he is.

“I… I don’t know if I’m gonna go,” he says at last. Your heart picks up a little at that. Does that mean he doesn’t want to go to the dance at all? Or does he not want to go with Ningning? If you asked him now, would it make a difference?

“I’ve never slow danced,” he confesses, leaning against the opposite counter, and your heart drops. So that was it. Of course, he wouldn’t reject Ningning. She’s an absolute goddess, heck, you wouldn’t say no if she asked you either. You stamp out that last flicker of hope.

“What if I suck at it?” he continues, absentmindedly carding his fingers through his hair. “Oh god, I bet Yukhei and Kunhang are never gonna let me live it down. I can do choreographed dances, but I’m gonna mess up over a stupid slow dance. But where am I supposed to put my hands?! Like on her shoulders? Her waist? Do I hold her hand?”

Your eyes follow the way his hair ruffles slightly, and you wonder if it’s as soft as it looks. You swallow hard before saying quietly, “I can teach you?”

His hand pauses mid-movement, and your eyes fly down to meet his. His eyes widen, and he contemplates your offer for a split second before nodding excitedly. “Yeah, that’d be great! Can you teach me right now? While we wait for our food to come!”

“S-sure,” you stammer, flustered at the sudden acceptance and his eagerness. “Um, here? In the kitchen?”

“Yeah, why not?” He shrugs before straightening up. “The lights should be dimmed, right? We can kind of mimic that here to set the mood or whatever.”

He goes over and fiddles with the light switch, flicking it on and off, and you laugh, walking over and placing your hand over his. “What are you doing? Some kind of Kevin Nguyen mating call to look for a rave bae?”

“First off, I’m offended that you think I’d be one of them,” Yangyang narrows his eyes at you. “Secondly, I’m trying to make this feel more formal dance-y. Oh, wait!”

He turns off the lights for the last time and reaches over to pull open the refrigerator doors, the artificial fluorescent light pouring out and mixing with the faint beams coming in through the window from the street lamps outside. He grins at you, satisfied. “Romantic, huh?”

You roll your eyes, but the amused smile on your face gives away your true feelings. “Wow, Romeo, you swept me off my feet. The food is gonna go bad, and Kun is gonna kill you for the high electricity bill.”

“What food? Jeno’s protein shakes probably never expire.” He snorts before standing closer to you, his hands resting on either side of you on the counter. You can see the pretty gold flecks in his irises, and your breath gets caught in your throat. “And I guess this means you gotta teach me fast before we waste more electricity, right?”

You place your hands on his chest and lightly push him away, and he laughs, stepping back. You let out a shaky breath, remembering that your lungs need oxygen in order to, you know, continue living.

“Okay,” you clear your throat before pulling out your phone and putting on a slow song. “Ready?”

“You chose Ed Sheeran? Thinking Out Loud? Really?”

You raise your hands up defensively. “Hey, he’s the king of sappy slow songs that all girls want to be played at their weddings for their first dance.”

When your legs don't work like they used to before,

And I can't sweep you off of your feet,

Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?

Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?

“Is this the song you want played at your wedding?” He raises an eyebrow at you, and your face grows warm. You ignore the question, and this time, you’re the one taking a bold step forward, a few centimeters now separating you and your best friend. You see his Adam’s apple bob as he gulps lightly before meeting your eyes.

And darling, I will be loving you 'til we're seventy,

And baby, my heart could still fall as hard at twenty-three,

And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways.

“So, your hands go here.” You take his hands and place them on either side of your waist. His arms freeze up. “Relax, Yang. Precious cargo here.”

He lets out a chuckle, loosening his grip as he starts to relax. You reach up and slide your arms around his neck, interlocking your fingers. You gaze back at him, saying softly, “Now pull me closer.”

He does so.

Maybe just the touch of a hand,

Oh me I fall in love with you every single day,

And I just wanna tell you I am.

“And now follow my lead. We’re going to take one step. And then another. We’re just slowly turning in a circle.”

After a few spins and steps, you stop leading and let yourself be led. Yangyang continues to hold onto you carefully, and you can hear him muttering a 1, 2, 3, 4 count under his breath until he finally gets the hang of it. He grows a little braver, pulling you even closer.

So honey now,

Take me into your loving arms,

Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars.

“Are you going with Dejun?” he asks quietly, and you stiffen at the mention at him before shaking your head.

“No, we broke up in July.”

Yangyang falters in his step before recovering. “Oh. You never told me.”

“Yeah.” You struggle to keep your voice level. “I just… he’s your friend, and I didn’t want to make it weird.”

“You’re my best friend though,” he says firmly, looking you directly in the eyes. His grip on your waist tightens. “It’s his loss. That dumbass just lost the best person who’ll ever come into his life.”

You give him a tired half smile, one that doesn’t quite meet your eyes. He hugs you closer to him, wrapping his arms around your waist and securing you against his chest. You rest your head in the crook of his neck and hope that he doesn’t feel how quickly your heart beats in your chest.

Place your head on my beating heart,

I'm thinking out loud,

Maybe we found love right where we are.

“Thanks, Yang,” you whisper, your breath tickling his skin. He envelops you tightly, and the two of you continue to spin in slow circles, quietly dancing in the refrigerator light as the remaining verses of the song warble in the background.

You think you finally understand what Dejun meant when he said he’s breaking up with you because your heart was already occupied by someone else.

You fall in love with him in August.

NOVEMBER 2019.

[ 12:54 a.m. ] yang 🐏🤪: hey you up?

[ 12:54 a.m. ] yang 🐏🤪: 7/11 in ten mins?

Tiredly rubbing your eyes, you stumble out of your dorm building, one of Jeno’s sweaters draped over your figure. November nights are cold, but this one seems chillier than usual. Yangyang stands near the front steps, and he stiffens up when he notices whose hoodie you’re wearing. He makes no mention of it though when you join him.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” He glances over to you as the two of you walk side by side to the small convenience store just on the edge of campus. You shake your head, shoving your hands into the front pocket of your sweater.

“I was up cramming for midterms. I could use a break anyway,” you shrug. A wisp of your hair falls in your face, and Yangyang starts to reach out to fix it, but forces himself to keep his hand by his side. You reach out to carelessly brush it away, tucking it behind your ear.

“What about you?” You look over at him, noting the bags under his eyes. “Rough night?”

He smiles tiredly at you, shoving his hands into his pockets as he kicks a stray pebble along the sidewalk. “More like rough week. Two more midterms left, and they’re for electromagnetic theory and linear systems.”

“Oh god, good luck. I took linear systems today, and it was absolutely brutal.” You wince, brightening up when you see the familiar neon orange, red, and green lights up ahead.

“Maybe I should just withdraw and take it again next quarter,” your best friend grumbles, kicking the stone as far as he possibly can.

“You really want another quarter with Hwang?”

“You’re right,” he sighs, “I just need to get a C+ to maintain my GPA. C if I’m pushing it.”

The two of you hurry over to the 7-Eleven, quickening your pace, until you reach the store doors, and you pull them open. Entering quickly, you push the door open slightly wider, and Yangyang slips in behind you. The cashier doesn’t even look up, texting away on his phone. You make a beeline towards the chips aisle, grabbing a bag of flamin’ hot Cheetos and a pack of sour gummy worms.

“What are you getting, Yang?” You call out over your shoulder, eyes zeroing in on the Red Bull stand at the end of the aisle. When you hear no response, you halt in your steps, turning around. Yangyang stands in the middle of the aisle, looking dazed under the fluorescent lights.

Putting your items back on the shelf, you approach him, reaching out and touching his arm gently. “Yangyang, what’s wrong?”

He jerks back before silently holding up his phone for you to see. There’s a slew of text messages from Ningning a few hours ago, and a quick scan tells you all you need to know. Your heart weighs heavily in your chest when you look back at him, a forlorn expression on his face.

“She dumped me,” he says quietly, shoving the phone back into his pocket. “She said our relationship was like a friendship. She didn’t feel anything. She said we could still be friends if I wanted to be though.”

He jabs a large bag of Lays potato chips angrily as his voice raises slightly higher. “But I don’t get it. Do friends take each other on dates? Do friends spend the night? Do friends hug each other and hold hands walking to class? Do friends spend three hundred dollars to do a surprise weekend trip for their birthday?”

He whirls around to face you, and he’s so close that you can see those pretty golden sparkles in his eyes again. Suddenly, his hands are cupping your face, and the next thing you know, he’s kissing you. Your eyes widen for a fraction of a second before they flutter shut, and you press your lips against his. The 90s pop station music playing overhead seems to fade away, and all you can focus on is that your best friend tastes like spearmint gum and grape soju. He pulls away abruptly, the realization of what he’s done finally hitting him as his chest heaves up and down.

“Do friends kiss like this?”

His voice is barely a whisper, but it cuts through the silence. You feel like you’re spinning out of control, a split second from careening and crashing.

“No, we—they don’t,” you mumble, and Yangyang sees the starstruck look in your eyes, and he wants to apologize: to say sorry for kissing you. But he doesn’t. Because for some reason, he doesn’t feel sorry. He closes his eyes, curling his hands into fists before exhaling slowly. He sees you looking back at him this time, and he wonders if you feel as equally lost as he does.

Because you’re right. Friends don’t kiss each other like that. Friends don’t feel like this about each other.

He kisses you in November.

AUGUST 2020.

The sun still shines bright late into the day, and August greets you like an old friend. You’re absentmindedly doodling in the margins of your notebook designated for Quantum Mechanics. Yangyang sits next to you in the lecture hall, making a bunch of origami cranes before tossing them at Renjun’s head right in front of him. When the bird reaches its target for the sixth time in a row, the annoyed boy whirls around in his seat, glaring at your best friend.

“Stop that,” he hisses, and Yangyang innocently raises his hands in the air. Renjun angrily frowns at him before turning back around in his seat. After a few minutes, Yangyang flicks another crane towards his friend. If this was a cartoon, you would see steam blowing out of your friend’s ears. You silently watch as he wordlessly picks up his phone, seething as he presses on a particular number.

Suddenly, Travis Scott’s SICKO MODE starts blasting, amplified by the large auditorium-like room. The professor goes silent, and everyone turns to see Yangyang scrambling to pick up his phone. He fumbles around for a few seconds with it before finally shutting it off and putting it on vibrate mode. Cheeks burning red, he meekly puts his phone back in his bag and squeaks out a “sorry” before sinking down in his chair (You can see the culprit grinning like the cat ate the canary right in front of him. Karma’s a bitch who also goes by the name of Renjun).

You pat his arm consolingly as he sulks next to you for a few minutes, mouth jutting out into a pout. You decide to take pity on him and lean closer to him, whispering quietly, “Would it make you feel better if I bought you boba after class?”

Immediately, he brightens up. “One oolong milk tea, half sugar with white pearls and coconut jelly?”

“Yes, I’ll pay for your overpriced drink,” you huff, thinking about how his one seven dollar drink could buy you a whole rotisserie chicken that’ll last you a week. At least the fluffy dog at Cloudy with a Chance of Boba is cute and fun to play with. “I’ll even get the honey waffle fries.”

“Heck yeah!” he whisper-yells, fist pumping quietly before he suddenly deflates. “Wait, I can’t. I promised Lia I’d get lunch with her.”

Ah, right, there’s Lia now. Yangyang’s new girlfriend: the only other student who went to Düsseldorf, Germany to study abroad over the summer, and inevitably, the two of them became close. All you really know about her is that she’s pretty, she’s in Iota Theta Zeta, and she followed you on Instagram a few weeks ago (of course, you followed her back because of the unspoken best friend and girlfriend policy).

Her page looks carefully curated, and there’s a common pink tinted theme going on throughout her feed. She has over a thousand followers, and it seems like Yangyang fits perfectly in her magazine curated life, judging by how he occupies nearly every picture taken in the summer with her or how he’s tagged as the photographer. You can’t deny that they look good together, pointedly shoving the green eyed monster back under the bed.

You take a peek at your messy Instagram page where you only post pictures when you’re half drunk, so there’s no semblance of uniformity anywhere. You shrug at him, pocketing your phone.

“No biggie. I’ll see if Karina is up for some boba. She’s been holed up in the dance studio already, and it’s only week two of classes, can you believe it?”

“I remember Ten was the same way,” Yangyang hums, eyes fixated on his phone and fingers tapping away. He laughs quietly, lips curling into a pretty smile, and you glance over curiously.

“What’s so funny?”

“Hmm?” Yangyang finally tears his eyes away from his screen for a split second to look at you before another buzz takes his attention away. He’s distracted, lovestruck, and you wistfully smile before turning back to your notes.

“Sorry, what’d you say earlier?” he loudly whispers a few minutes later, and you barely glance up from the large bulbasaur doodle you’re in the progress of completing right next to the chart marking the wave functions for a bouncing ball that you had copied down from the blackboard.

“Oh, I just asked what was so funny,” you murmur, coloring in the flowers you drew around the Pokémon with your blue ballpoint pen.

He looks confused for a moment before lighting up. “Oh! It was just a German joke. It’s not really funny if I translate it though.”

“Got it, no worries.” You notice the professor starting a new example problem, and you abandon your drawing, focusing on the formulas rapidly filling up the chalkboards in front of you. A quiet chuckle echoes in your ears, and you pause in your note taking to look over and see your best friend still typing on his phone. You make a mental reminder to create a copy of your notes for him later on when you pass the library on the way to the dining hall.

“Hey, Y/N.” Yangyang nudges you gently. “Rain check on the boba?”

You offer him a soft smile. “Of course. Anytime.”

He gives you a quick grin in return before his attention returns to the device in his hand—or rather, the pretty girl behind those texts. Your best friend is sitting right next to you, but you’ve never felt so far away. You know distance makes the heart grow fonder, but you don’t think it’s possible to be even fonder of him than you are now. Bad habits are hard to break, and you’ve made a terrible one of loving him. No wonder it’s beginning to hurt so much.

You lose him in August.

DECEMBER 2020.

December is the coldest month of the year, yet it is also simultaneously the warmest with all the holiday festivities it brings. If Yangyang were to choose a month to describe you, it’d be this one. You are a walking paradox, a conundrum he might never solve, an oxymoron come to life. He doesn’t understand how you can be his best friend, yet feel like a stranger; a friend who he wants as a lover; someone who has created such an impact in his life, but disappears seamlessly here and there.

He wonders when you’ve gotten so distant. He wonders why he never noticed the way you seemed to slip away through the cracks until it’s now nearing the end of the year, and the last time he’s seen you in person was before the November autumn break.

But you’re here.

You’re standing right next to the punch bowl filled with spiked eggnog, wearing a garish knitted button down jumper with brightly colored Christmas lights decorating it. It’s perfectly in theme with the Ugly Christmas Sweater party Nu Chi is holding, and Yangyang is beyond ecstatic to know that you’re attending. He had texted you an invite two weeks ago, and you merely reacted with a thumbs up.

Yangyang swears he was going to follow up with you on that, but he got so caught up with midterms, then meeting Lia’s family for Thanksgiving, then studying for finals, and then finally, preparing for this party. Buying enough beer for twenty-three keg stands is a lot more difficult than it seems (Donghyuck’s car broke down halfway during one trip, and they all had to carry back the packs of beers to the house in 40 degree weather in their Sperry boat shoes and Patagonia long sleeves that definitely weren’t cut out for this kind of weather).

His girlfriend is somewhere in the room, wearing the other half of the reindeer sweater she forced him to put on, but all he can focus on is you. He hurriedly makes his way over, skidding to a stop in front of you, and you’re startled before a smile spreads across your face.

“Hey, you, I haven’t seen you in a while.” You grin at him, reaching out to poke the reindeer tail sticking out from the front of his itchy sweater (Lia got to wear the head half of the reindeer, while he was stuck with the behind).

“Yeah, how have you been?” He reaches around you to pick up a cup and pour himself some eggnog. He offers you one, but you decline with a small shake of your head.

“I’ve been doing good, a bit tired with finals coming up, but what’s new?” You joke, grabbing one of the sugar cookies from the table. You’re secretly surprised that they actually have real food (No, Hyuck, Jell-O shots do not count as real food). You suspect Jaemin has something to do with it. He always contributes to the annual Greek row bake sale.

“Are you here with someone? Did Karina come?” he asks, curiosity coating every word. He looks around for your roommate, but she’s nowhere to be found.

You shake your head. “No, I actually came with—”

“Me!”

Yukhei bounds over, slipping an arm over your shoulder. He hands you a new cup of apple cider, which you accept gratefully. He grins happily at Yangyang, who freezes up at the sight of his tall friend. “I asked her to be my date for the party, and she agreed. She also made our sweaters! Aren’t they so cool? There’s even lights that spell my name and play Christmas songs. She did a bunch of cool programming tricks to make them work.”

Yangyang realizes with a start that the two of you are indeed wearing matching sweaters, and that leaves a rather sour taste in his mouth (and it definitely wasn’t because of expired eggnog). The corners of his lips tilt downward as he presses his lips together tightly.

“So… you two are together?” He gestures between you and Yukhei with a forced laugh. Jealousy never did look good on anybody, and unfortunately, he’s not an exception.

“We’re just seeing each other and seeing how it goes for now,” you answer quietly, noting the way your best friend reacts. You have always been good at reading him, and you tread carefully now, not wanting to make a scene. Drunk Yangyang never holds anything back, and he’s had quite a few pre-game shots already (It definitely doesn’t help that he’s a lightweight, too).

“I see. How did you guys meet? Or I guess, start talking?” He attempts to look intimidating, staring down at Yukhei, but it’s a difficult feat to accomplish, especially when he’s trying to stare down a six foot guy who’s more like an overgrown puppy and his friend.

“Oh, she came by for one of your boba runs, but you were still out with Lia. So I asked if I could go with her.” Yukhei flashes his pearly whites at you, and you chuckle, leaning your head against his shoulder.

“I said yes, and we hit it off, I guess.”

“You guess? And you took him on our boba runs?”

“You were out with Lia,” you say defensively, and he blanches when he hears his girlfriend’s name come out of your mouth.

“You could’ve waited,” he mutters, but you still hear it, and you give him a scathing look, finally too tired of this push and pull game that’s been going on behind the scenes for nearly three years now.

“I did. I waited over an hour here for you, but you didn’t show up or even text me that you were gonna be late. Yukhei was nice enough to offer to go with me.”

He stays silent, and you gnaw on your bottom lip, unsure of what to say next. Yukhei looks at you in concern, but you reach up and squeeze his hand reassuringly, which your best friend doesn’t fail to notice, his lips pressing into an even thinner line.

“I don’t understand what the deal is,” you finally burst out, startling both boys. “What’s the big deal about me and Yukhei going out?”

Something inside of him finally snaps. “The big deal is that you’re basically sleeping through my list of friends and then breaking up with them! First Dejun, then Jeno, now Yukhei? Who’s next? Should I give Renjun a heads up? Pencil you into his planner? Or Sicheng? Sungchan? You have a class with him, so you’re bound to flirt with him, too, right? When are you gonna stop fucking around with my frien—”

He gasps, stopping mid-outburst as he stares at you in disbelief. Apple cider slides down from his hair, dripping onto his face and soaking into his sweater, the sticky juice clinging to his skin uncomfortably. You’re absolutely seething, the empty cup crackling in your clenched fist. Shocked, Yukhei carefully tugs the plastic away from you and places it on the table before replacing it with his own hand, his thumb caressing circles on the back of your hand soothingly. Yangyang doesn’t dare to meet his furious gaze, lifting his chin to look at you instead. The entire room has hushed down by now, all eyes staring directly at the three of you in a mixture of surprise and slight terror.

“Screw you, Yangyang,” you say lowly, voice shaking with anger. Tears form on the edge of your waterline, but you blink them away before hastily brushing a stray droplet from your cheek. “They asked me out. I said yes. We went out. It didn’t work out. We move on. Just like how you’ve gone out with my friends. And they didn’t work out, so you moved on. So what’s so wrong about that? What’s so wrong about trying again to find love?”

He can’t answer you, curling his hands into fists until his fingernails indent miniature crescents in his palms—until the pain overtakes the feelings that are threatening to spill from his heart. Yangyang may not be yours, but he doesn’t like the fact that he can’t call you his either.

Love. That’s what you want, that’s what you crave, but not if it’s from him. So what is he supposed to do with love that’s unwanted? It’s bursting at the seams, and he has nowhere to hide it anymore.

He loves you in December.

AUGUST 2021.

August sneaks up on you this time around, and you find yourself in Kunhang’s apartment. All of your close friends are here, starting the last year of youth with one final first day party. You think back to that day three years ago: when your eyes met a pair of equally bright ones for the first time.

Curled up next to Yukhei on the couch, you look across the room and meet those very same eyes, although they seem hazier this time around. Lia is wrapped around his arm, and you think it’s quite ironic how both your and his relationships remain the same after all this time. Perhaps you both were bad luck for each other, leading to the other’s demise with short lived relationships. He looks away from you.

The rules of truth or dare are simple. You cannot ask the same person again until three other people have been asked first, and no one can be asked more than three times in each round. And, for reasons you can’t understand, everyone seems to take the code of truth seriously.

“I’ll start,” Kunhang announces, leaning back in one of the several beanbags he has in his place. “Goeun, truth or dare?”

Goeun sighs, leaning back on the palms of her hands. “Dare.”

“You and Mark, seven minutes in heaven.” Hendery points towards the coat closet, and the immediate reaction of hoots and wolf whistles has the girl rolling her eyes. With an exasperated huff, she stands up and pulls a red faced Mark along with her.

“Wait, you gotta pick the next person!” Donghyuck calls out, and she stops in her tracks, throwing open the closet door and shrugging. “You can choose for me.”

With that, she and Mark disappear behind the door, and Donghyuck turns toward the rest of the group, eyes glimmering mischievously. You pay no attention to him, absentmindedly playing with Yukhei’s fingers. You tug one of his rings off his finger, and he smiles, plucking it from your grasp carefully before holding your hand. He carefully slides it onto your right ring finger, but it falls off. Grinning, he pretends to try it on every single one of your fingers until finally settling on your thumb. The ring fits snugly there, and you admire it, wriggling your thumb around.

“Well, look at that. It fits you. I think that means we’re meant to be,” Yukhei says, smiling broadly, and you laugh, interlocking your fingers with his again before glancing down at the silver engraved band resting on your finger. The weight of the metal feels heavy resting against your knuckle.

“Yangyang, truth or dare.”

Donghyuck’s voice cuts through your thoughts, and you instinctively perk up in your seat at the sound of his name before freezing up in your spot. Yukhei squeezes your hand softly, and you tighten your grip around his fingers.

“Truth.”

“You’re no fun,” Donghyuck sighs, slouching back against the armrest. Yukhei leans over and whispers something in his ear before settling back next to you, shifting slightly to wrap his arm around you. Donghyuck lifts an eyebrow at your boyfriend before shrugging. “Okay, here’s an easy one. Are you in love…”

“Yes.” is his immediate response, and you notice how Lia absolutely preens next to him.

“… with Y/N?”

Your breath hitches in your throat, and you immediately turn your head to look at Yukhei, your eyes growing wide in horror. He looks apologetic, shoulders drooping. “I’m sorry, but just the way he looks at you, it’s so obvious, and I had to know.”

You whip around to face the boy in question. With bated breath, you look at him, but Yangyang stares at the center of the floor, struggling internally. Everyone is quiet, and it reminds you of the calm before a storm. At last, he looks up, gazing right at you, and you can almost swear that you see those pretty little gold flecks in his irises from here.

“Yes,” Yangyang confesses quietly.

There’s almost a collective gasp rippling through the room, and Yukhei lets out an inaudible swear under his breath. Your grip on his hand grows slack as you fumble to get a grasp on the entire situation.

He loves you. He loves you. He loves you.

The words echo in your mind like a mantra until it grows so loud that you can’t hear any of your own thoughts anymore. Lia is in absolute hysterics, demanding an explanation from him, but he merely shrugs her off. Standing up, he quickly moves to leave the room, glancing at you one more time before disappearing out the front door.

It’s like your body is on auto-pilot after this. You drop Yukhei’s hand, immediately standing up and rushing after your best friend, paying no mind to the hushed whispers that only seem to increase in volume once you leave. You step out onto the porch, and there he is, sitting on the steps.

You quietly stand behind him, contemplating what to say and carefully choosing your next words. But there’s only one question on your mind.

“Why did you say that?”

He stays silent for a moment, staring out at the moon shining brightly ahead. “Because I meant it.”

Your heart wrenches in your chest. “You shouldn’t.”

He finally turns to look at you, an indescribable look in his eyes. It reminds you of heartbreak. “But I do. And I tried not to for the past three fucking years, but I can’t anymore.”

“Since freshman year?” You feel the tears well up in your eyes, and this time, you let them go. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Yangyang grips onto the edge of the stairs tightly, frustration ringing with every word that falls from his mouth. “Because I was scared. And I thought you never felt the same way. You’re my best friend, and I didn’t want to lose you.”

“Yang…” You whisper, hand reaching out as you let it hover over his shoulder for a few seconds. Then, you pull back, curling your fingers into fists, pressing crescent indentations into the palms of your hands.

He stands up, whirling around to look at you, desperate. “Tell me I’m not too late. Please, Y/N.”

Something inside of you breaks. You open your mouth and start to say something when the door opens behind you. Turning around, you see Yukhei. His eyes widen when he sees the two of you standing there.

You know this is it. This is the moment. This is where you have to decide.

“I, I was just looking for you. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.” Yukhei awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, taking a step back. “I’m sorry, I’m gonna go back in and—”

“No, wait, it’s okay,” you gently interrupt him. You reach out and slip your hand into his, and he relaxes, giving you a relieved smile. You smile softly back at your boyfriend before turning to face him, eyes apologetic.

“I’m sorry, Yangyang.”

He and you are asymptotes: two lines curving towards each other, but never touching; two hands reaching towards each other, but never interlocking; two people tangling their red strings of fate, but never tying.

You give him one last glance before going back inside with Yukhei.

You break his heart in August.

SEPTEMBER 2021.

September is supposed to be a new beginning: the transition from summer to autumn. Yangyang doesn’t think he can let go of you as easily as the trees shed their green for gold and red. Wherever he goes, wherever he looks, little reminders of you bloom in every crevice. You’re absolutely everywhere and nowhere, and it drives him crazy.

He thinks he’s gone completely insane when he hears your laugh while he’s walking to the laundromat one day. He shoves his airpods in and continues on his way until he sees you. Walking across the street, there you are. You’re on the phone with someone, and he contemplates going over to say hello. But suddenly, you’re hanging up the phone and waving eagerly at someone. When he turns his head to look, his heart drops and gets buried six feet under. He hurriedly ducks into a nearby bookstore and watches as you run up to Yukhei, slipping your hand into his like it’s second nature to you now. The two of you walk off together, and Yangyang is left standing at the window of the store until the shop owner politely asks if there’s anything he needs.

He doubts a time machine is something they have in stock, so he silently shakes his head and steps out onto the street once again. It is now silent and empty.

He loses you in September.

AUGUST 2022.

A lot can change in eleven months.

You’re twenty two years old, but you feel like you’re eighteen again. You know you’re going to see him for the first time since September at Kun’s housewarming. You had repeatedly assured Yukhei that you’d be fine. After all, life goes on; the world doesn’t stop just because you had a falling out with your best friend, even if it may have been a little more than that. Nevertheless, a year has nearly passed. Time is known to be the best healer, and perhaps your heart has shed its old skin and habits.

Your hand is safely enveloped in Yukhei’s, and the two of you walk towards your older friend’s new apartment. He playfully swings your interlocked hands back and forth, and you giggle, tightening your grip around his fingers. You stop in front of the door, the muffled sounds of a party slipping through the cracks. You suck in a breath, shoulders tensed. He’s in there.

“Are you okay?”

Yukhei squeezes your hand gently, voice laced with concern. You remember to breathe, exhaling slowly and relaxing before nodding. You smile up at him. “I’m okay.”

“If you want, we can go back home now, have another NCIS marathon, and drink this by ourselves.” Yukhei waves around the nice bottle of wine the two of you had brought for Kun. “We can even stop by the convenience store and get some ramen.”

You laugh quietly, the corners of your lips upturning with mirth. “It’s okay, I’m fine, Yukhei, I promise. Plus, I have you, right?”

He brightens up at that, practically beaming at you, and your heart skips a beat. “Right!”

You reach out and knock on the door. Kun greets the two of you, and you enter his apartment. Yukhei still doesn’t let go of your hand, and you follow behind him as you weave your way through the living room, greeting some of your friends. You hear Kunhang calling out to your boyfriend from the kitchen and feel him hesitate next to you. You squeeze his hand gently before letting go and nudging him in the direction of his friend. Yukhei gives you one last look, but you wave him off, smiling goodnaturedly and silently assuring that you’re okay. He swoops down and leaves behind a soft kiss for you before going.

You walk over to the alcohol table, pouring yourself something to drink. Leaning against the wall, you take a sip of your drink, your eyes flitting over the rim of your cup and slowly scanning the room. It feels like forever, like everything is moving in slow motion, like the world is submerged underwater, but it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds.

You find him easily. After all, it’s hard to forget someone whose features you’ve memorized over the past four years. Your eyes map the delicate outline of his face once more, and for a moment, you wonder if red is still his favorite color, or who he shares a carton of Ben and Jerry’s with nowadays. You wonder if he thinks of you sometimes, too.

But then, you wonder where Yukhei is. You search around until you see your boyfriend still standing in the kitchen, laughing at something your mutual friend said. Your eyes soften when you see him grab your favorite snack. You turn back around, your heart swelling in your chest tenfold, and your lips curl upwards, an endeared expression on your face.

That’s when you notice that he’s looking at you.

You brace yourself, waiting for the tidal wave of emotions to wash over you and the quickening of your heart rate to greet you like an old friend. Because that’s what always happens when you’re around him. After all, he is the biggest what-if in your life. He is someone you almost loved forever, someone you almost stayed for.

And yet, nothing happens. You wait a little longer. The world still goes round, and you’re still breathing. There’s no shortness of breath, no erratic heart palpitations, no sweaty palms, absolutely nothing. Liu Yangyang is a stranger in a familiar body, and your heart remains still.

You give Yangyang a faint smile, nodding towards him, and it feels like a sudden jolt in his heart. Time stops, and all he can see is you. You look beautiful. You have always been beautiful. This is his chance. Whatever higher entity out there has taken pity on him and given him a second try to make it right. He finally takes a step towards you, and the tender, encouraging expression in your eyes gives him the strength to take another one. After all, the eyes are the windows to the soul. Clutching his drink in hand, he pushes his way through the crowd. He’s only eight, seven, six, five steps away from you now. A smile grows on his face as relief curls around his heart like a bandage. You’re standing there, waiting for him, smiling at him.

And suddenly, you’re no longer looking at him.

You stopped looking at him.

Yukhei makes his presence known next to you, excitedly chattering about something and gesturing towards the kitchen as he hands you something to eat. It’s a snickerdoodle cookie. Your favorite. Your eyes are fixated on the tall boy, positively sparkling as you beam at him.

Yangyang feels like he can’t breathe. The bandage is ripped off, and all he can feel is excruciating pain like a thousand pinpricks into his heart before the numbness hits. He freezes, rooting himself in that spot on the scratched hardwood floor as his colleagues and friends continue to jostle around him. As his world crumbles around him, he can’t tear his eyes away from you. They stay on you, the barest traces of nostalgia lingering in the dimmed golden flecks of his irises that you had still admired all those months ago. It’s like he’s trapped in a silent film, stuck in a fish bowl and swimming in circles, and he watches in horror as you outstretch your hand and intertwine your fingers around Yukhei’s, leaning up to press your lips against his tenderly. Your boyfriend looks at you like you hung the stars in the night sky yourself (He would believe it if you said you did).

You don’t look at him like that anymore.

Yangyang remembers when you used to. When you used to love him. When you were almost his. He feels something inside of him break for a second time.

The world continues to spin, and yet, he’s still not moving. He’s stuck in quicksand, sinking deeper and deeper as everyone around him moves on—as you move on. He desperately tries to keep you in his view, and his feet finally pick up as he lurches forward. He’s not fast enough. You’re slipping away, walking away from him, hand in hand with Yukhei, disappearing around the corner of the hallway, and he can’t do anything about it. It’s too late. He’s too late. The sticky remnants of cheap beer run down his wrist, and it finally registers in his mind that he had crushed the flimsy plastic cup in his hand sometime in between now and then. In a crowded room full of people, he’s left standing there, alone and lonely.

Almost is the worst way to love someone, Yangyang bitterly realizes. It hurts to lose someone you almost love. No, it was never an ‘almost’. He most certainly loved—loves—you. And it should be impossible to lose someone who was never his to begin with, yet he has. All this time, he thought he had you, but it had always been the other way around.

He was your August, he was your everything, and he is yours.

But you will never be his.

You let go of him in August.

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