#i wanna hear more songs from conan

[silence-between-seconds]

Hey there, love

I'm Sirius and this is my attempt at an intro post. anyway, you can call me siri ;)

pick any pronouns from: he/she/they || I'm genderfluid || INFJ

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Sooooooo, if you wanna know, here it goes

Gonna tell you there's a part of me that shows, if we're close

Gonna let you see everything

But remember that you asked for it

I'll try to do my best to impress,

But it's easier to let you take a guess at the rest

But you wanna hear what lives in my brain and my heart

Well, you asked for it

For your perusin', at times confusin'

Hopefully amusin', introducing me<3

I've never

really been into cars,

I like really cool guitars and superheroes

And checks with lots of zeros on 'em

I love the sound of violins

And makin' someone smile

(yes I just inserted a disney song to introduce myself. go listen to it if you want it's called Introducing Me by nick jonas)

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my life motto is "do no harm but take no shit". That's right, I have my wise moments.

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I'd say this mood board just about sums up my personality, except, as all humans are, I'm obviously more complex than that.

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@her-midas-touch is a poet and wrote this for me hehe:

Run out of metaphors great enough, my fingers paint a wraith

To faint to capture essence, mere shimmery traces of feelings

Every cheshire cat smile, every whirlwind idea, every leap of faith for every apathetic eye, missing the moment, is a soul

that sings

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✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

click here for the playlist on Spotify by my lovely siv @good-oldfashioned-lover about what my soul is supposedly made of.

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this is my ao3 acc feel free to check it out

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

feel free to interact<3 promise to advice/ listen if you wanna vent/ hyperfixations

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lovely mutuals:

@good-oldfashioned-lover @her-midas-touch@daydream-of-a-wallflower@hermioneswifeee@literallytoogaytofunction@lilbeanz@reisbackinblack@dementorfromazkaban@deprivedofbraincellsandsleep@starryrain@lizluvscupcakes@urbanflorals @accio-sriracha@siriusly-remu@werewolfenthusiast@none-of-it-was-accidental@feelin-sad-and-gay@jaylienpotter@illustratinglaura @nothingtoseeherebyeexx @silverscreenlipstick @moonysversion @mochami-mochi @sleepinginmygrave @icarus-last-fall @a-beautiful-fool @shuhuaspookie @xi-phos @here-for-a-good-time-hopefully @stars-over-ice-cream @kaaaaaaarf @re-is-back-in-black@rookofthekingom@toxik-angel@marylily-my-beloved@good-oldfashioned-lover-girl

(i hope i got everyone?)

mess with my friends and I will hurt you :)

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Things I love:

singing, marauders era, any and all kinds of art, poetry, books, fanfiction, the harry potter fandom (jkr can piss off tho), arctic monkeys, k-pop (bts, txt, svt, skz, treasure and a few more bands), renne rapp, taylor swift's music, conan gray, plushies, the moon, the stars, basically space, chai, biking, CHOCOLATE, nature, writing, badminton, musical instruments and a million little nothings

currently listening to: space girl by Frances Forever

fav authors/books: ruskin bond, the alchemist, ronald dahl, to kill a mockingbird, memoirs of sherlock holmes, and many more im too lazy to type out. ok look i love reading but the last thing i read was definitely on ao3

movies/shows: Heartstopper, Red white and royal blue, Loki, hazbin hotel, helluva boss, Night at the Museum, Marvel (not sucha fan of mcu), highschool musical (2 is my fav), Luca (2021) and most other pixar and disney movies, (i love animated movies so much)

bollywood has only managed to make a select few good movies out of which im absolutely crazy about like znmd, dangal and super 30

DNIs don't work so I guess I'll just say: fuck around and find out :)

this video made by the wonderful @urbanflorals is so me, i wanted to add it<3

alright ty for visiting my blog, you are welcome to stay

Toodles<3

#intro post #this was exhausting #get to know me #the marauders #marauders #marauders era #hp #harry potter #taylor swift #conan gray #music #punk rock #books #kpop #bts #txt #svt #seventeen #wolfstar #sirius black #hp marauders #the marauders era #sirius black kinnie #adding tags about what i love so people notice me #poetry #words words words #prose #arctic monkeys #writing

[rubydubydoo122]

What's a song that reminds you of Jason, Bruce, Dick and Damian?

For Damian, definitely "Love Like You" From Steven Universe, especially the line "I always thought I might be bad now I'm sure that it's true, cus, I think you're so good, and I'm nothing like you"

for Dick, I would say "Look After You" By the Fray, specifically to his siblings and specifically the line "What's mine is yours to leave or take, what's mine is yours to make your own" also, "Seven" by Taylor Swift, Idk, I just feel like that song would remind him of his time in the circus.

For Bruce "Fine Line" by Harry Styles. I have a whole Band AU planned out Just so that for the final song, Bruce sings this to all the kids.

and for Jason.... Wooo doggie, I hAve A LOt. I'll just give you the main ones

"Would've Could've Should've" by Taylor Swift. I could copy paste the entire song in here and It would be like pulling a page out of Jason's Diary. Same with "Right Where You Left Me" "My Tear Ricochet" "THE GREAT WAR" and I could go on and on and on "Haunted" "Back to December" "Nothing New" "Mr. Perfectly Fine" Is Taylor Swift Jason Todd?

Then there's "The Grudge" by Olivia Rodrigo "I have nightmares each week about that friday in may" "Trust that you betrayed confusion that still lingers, took everything I loved and crushed it in betweeen your fingers" and "and I know in my heart, hurt people, hurt people, and We both drew blood but man those cuts were never equal"

SO MANY CONAN GRAY SONGS. "Winner" ("my heart that once was beating, bleeding the palm of your hand. yet you have the nerve to miss me how do I somehow feel guilty, WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE WHO LET IT GET THIS BAD; you don't really wanna hear the truth, do you? it's obvious to anyone who ever knew you. That all you ever wanted was to fight. I was only trying to survive your chaos") "Astronomy" "FAMILY LINE" "Memories" "jigsaw" "THE EXIT" ("Feels like, we had matching wounds but mine's still black and bruised and yours is perfectly fine. Feel like WE BURRIED ALIVE something that NEVER DIED so god it HURT when I FOUND OUT. You love her, it's over, do you even doubt it on your lips. You love her. It's over. You already found someone to miss while I'm still standing at the exit." Maturing is realizing it's the second half of the chorus that's more important to Jason Todd's character than the first)

Afraid by the Neighborhood, but this could really go for any of the Batboys

I KNOW THE END by Phoebe Bridgers. I just feel like if there was ever a show depicting Jason's run as Robin, and that song played as he was getting beat up by the joker and the Bridge hit as the timer was counting down, I would ABSOLUTELY LOSE IT. IF THAT HAPPENS I WOULD HAVE TO BE SENT TO ARKHAM HOLY SHIT EVERY TIME I HEAR THAT SONG I THINK OF JASON"S DEATH

anywho, thanks for coming to my ted talk

#jason todd #batman #batfam #dc comics #red hood #dick grayson #bruce wayne #damian wayne #music stuff #character music #I don't think they would listen to those songs #but those songs remind me of them #ask me anything #ask me questions #asks #ask

[sugar-omi]

Saw your last ask about the eloping and then was just thinking if the MC left with Mr. Wedding planner considering some of his lines in the DLC and the Taylor Swift song (and I am so sorry Cove I love you too but oof this went straight to my brain from all the angst and wanting on both sides)

ahhhh im,,, assuming youre thinking what im thinking n that is MC leaving cove to be w baxter bc that angsty idea came into my mind in the middle of writing that request and i have some ideas on it :(( listen to this playlist for the full effect 👍👍 ik a lot more songs i could add but i left it w olivia rodrigo n conan gray

tags : Angst (with happy ending for cove lol), (emotional) cheating, breaking up, your family n friends ar upset w you to say the least, your fam and friends goes low/no contact

synopsis : you leave cove to be with baxter, this is how everyone reacts.

[this is based off this post: "eloping with baxter", where alternatively you leave cove for baxter.]

*edited because i forgot to add derek's reaction.

please break it off before the wedding. if you leave him at the alter, cove would be thoroughly destroyed and your immediate family would prbly end up disowning you and/or going very low contact.

breaking off the engagement was and is a really hard thing, but you do it anyway to be with baxter

i wanna touch on how your family n friends reacts to the break up first...

well lets just leave it at cove's parents don't talk to you anymore and you are not welcome even near their house

in fact cliff even moves out of sunset bird because he's so distraught and if cove comes to visit, which he does and even moves in with his dad, he sees how sad cove is and it kills him

he regrets ever moving to sunset bird and asking you to be his friend.

cliff never forgives himself for this, even though it isn't his fault, he feels like it is and even if (and when) cove gets over this betrayal, cliff hates that this happened anyway.

cliff doesn't send you any text, he just blocks you

but if you send a text before he can do so, which is possible since he's busy comforting his son

then he responds like this..

"please don't text this number anymore. and leave my son alone. you've really betrayed him.. me too. i thought you were a good person y/n. i hope you're happy with him"

kyra leaves you a very scornful message and then blocks you

she refuses to waste her breathe or time on someone who hurt her baby

she starts by saying how much she loved you and everything you did for cove, but ends it with how she can never forgive you for leaving cove like this

"don't bother apologizing. everyone had their faith in you to love and take care of cove but you've really blindsided him. you're no longer family to us, leave us alone."

your family is very disappointed

even though they don't cut you off, you're distant and if you marry baxter, they don't come celebrate with you

your mom is surprisingly very tender about it and she is the one who misses you the most

she cries over your pictures when you were growing up, and when everything was perfect

she knows you're an adult and things happen, this is the way the cookie crumbles sometimes but the holden's were like family too and everything is just hard

she can't even look at cove when she sees him

once she even broke down crying in front of him, she could see the dark circles under his eyes and yet he still smiled at her and gave his best "hello"

cove ends up comforting her in the middle of the grocery store parking lot...

she doesn't leave the house for awhile. she's so ashamed and embarrassed because she can hear the whispers of the townsfolk

"i wish they were kids again..."

your ma calls to yell at you.

ma doesn't ever get mad, if anything mom was the "bad cop" growing up and did most the iron fisting

but your ma can't believe you'd do this. she understands that sometimes you fall out of love with someone or have deeper feelings for someone else but.. you knew cove for 15 years and you leave for someone like baxter, who hurt you?

shes just blinded with rage and sadness, even thought she's yelling she ends up crying

she tells you not to come around for awhile, she can't bare to look at you and look at cliff (and cove) the next day

"please don't bother coming home, you're not welcome here for the foreseeable future. i thought we raised you better than this."

your sister doesn't know what to do

she never expected this from you

she hugs you while you cry, you're still her sibling but she also can't forgive you so easily

she and cove weren't close, but definitely closer than baxter and she saw how much he loved you. and she sees how much he's hurting, as he's slowly gathering all his stuff out of your shared house.

she helps him pack his stuff and gives him a hug, lets him cry and tells cove that he's always been like family, and will always be

she watches him cry in his car before finally driving off and suddenly liz is so mad

all this upset and upheaval for what? a traumatized, flirty victorian-emo man who stayed for a summer and told you to fuck off and then came back 5 years later?

she doesn't yell, but between the quiet and half empty house, liz scolds you and flies back home the same night...

"i love you but i can't believe you threw this all away for someone you knew for ONE summer 5 years ago... i'm so disappointed in you."

lee is the one who comforts you the most when you cry

but you can see the disappointment in her eyes

she calls you a lot less, and she doesn't scream in excitement at you anymore. especially if you're with him.

one night, she even whispers into the dark room, having thrown a blanket over you and thinking you are asleep.

"i thought you were better than this..."

your friends are so surprised

they never saw this coming at all

im (not) sorry to say but you are now friendless :)

miranda is the one with the greatest fury

she leaves several voice messages where she is yelling and cussing you out...

"lose my number! i can't believe you'd leave cove for your wedding planner! someone who hurt you 5 fucking years ago!" "you need to get a grip on reality if you think you're gonna live happily ever after. screw you, you-"

terry is with miranda at the time so she cut off the last message before she could share her new nicknames for you

terry's disappointment is immeasurable.

he tries texting you and asking whats going on before he asks you to meet him for coffee

thats the last time you see him before he sends you on last text...

"i hope you're happy y/n... i really cherished our friendship but i can't trust someone who did this to their partner and one of my best buddies... goodbye."

derek is ready to fly over to cove immediately, and he does.

derek helps cliff get cove settled and calmed down, he even makes dinner while cliff helps cove at least get a grip on reality again...

"i'm so surprised you did this y/n... i thought i knew you better but i guess not... listen, i gotta finish dinner, cove hasn't eaten in a couple days. i'm sorry but cove is my best friend, i hope you're happier now.. goodbye."

cove is ruined, to say the least.

somehow he expected it though..

you were dating cove when baxter came that summer, but he saw how you looked at him... it was with a sense of longing. he supposes it was only a matter of time before you decided you wanted a taste of baxter ward, he just hoped it would never come...

you dated baxter that summer, and he saw how distraught you were when he left you so brutually.. cove thought you really loved him, that you finally got over baxter. but apparently he was wrong, you were just patching your wounds until baxter could put you back together...

you never dated baxter, but cove saw how you looked at him with longing and cove always wished you would look at him like that. i guess you just turned your eyes to him until you could finally have the one you wanted...

cove loved you so much, and now that you've broken up he feels like he'll never recover

cove's personality does a whole 180

if he was "warm", he's not anymore. he can't bring himself to smile and laugh and socialize when his chest feels so hollow yet like he's been stabbed with pins and needles...

if he was already "cold", i need you to imagine him being even colder...

he still says his "please and thank you"'s whenever its necessary, but anything other than a hum when affirming to the cashier that he found his groceries okay

or telling the fast food worker what he wants to eat, which he usually orders online in that case, then he doesn't really talk too much

everyone can see how distraught he is even though he tries to distract himself

he cooks meals from scratch, he even learns how to make bread just to keep his mind away from it all

he tries to surf or look for shells but it just ends up hurting more because he as so many memories of those things with you

his whole childhood was with you... you gave him a childhood and you're the reason he enjoyed life so much, you made him so happy...

cove really tries to keep his head above water but even with the love and care from his parents, he's drowning...

its like when he was a little kid all over again but this time he's the one going through the break up

sometimes he snaps at his dad to please leave him alone and he runs off to the guest room crying.

he's so overwhelmed, overstimulated in every way and hurt.

he feels like he'll never recover from this one

when he does "get better", its still a total change from who he used to be

he definitely keeps his friend circle tight and dating isnt even on the table, and wont be for a long time.

fuck it probably takes him another 15 years to get over you.

all he knew for the last 15 years of his life was you, and now he has to do without you so its hard.

some days he falls apart again, because things are so much harder now that he has to take care of himself in every way possible

you reopened his trust and abandonment issues...

he has a date with olivia rodrigo and conan gray (see above for playlist)

when everyone finds out you eloped with baxter they lose their fucking minds

your ma doesn't even text or call you. you can't even hear her in the background when your mom calls because she can't believe you'd elope to him after all this, no matter how much time goes by...

your mom feels hurt again. it just makes everything so real and she feels sick thinking that baxter is now her son-in-law

your sister calls to yell at you. its less than a 5 minute phone call, she just can't believe you married him...

lee doesn't bother sending any congratulations, doesn't even like your pictures on social media. the next time she texts you she blames it on work, and thoroughly avoids talking about baxter

you better hope miranda and derek don't see it.

derek was certainly the most peaceful when the break up happened, but he would definitely unblock you just to tell you how disappointed he is and he definitely cusses at you.

""i can't believe we were ever friends.""

terry is angry too, but he cries more than anything

he misses having all of you together, this just reopens the wound of how things turned out...

if and when cove finally sees or hears the news, if this happened soon after your breakup he would lose his shit.

if you elope soon after breaking up: it takes everything for him not to throw his phone.

he definitely goes to the gym for a bit to work out some energy. he's so sad but most of all he's angry

that should've been you getting married but you're with him instead.

if you elope later after breaking up: it hurts for awhile. but it doesn't tear him up as long as it did when you broke up

but the first night he does look at your smiling face and he misses you.

in the morning he's talking to his dad and he does realize that its better like this

that you just decided that baxter had everything you needed, and its not cove's fault

he hopes you're happy with yourself

unfortunately, this isn't a bad bone in cove's body to wish you ill.

but he does hope you aren't as happy with baxter as you were with him <3

if he runs into you for any reason, maybe because your moms finally let you come over or you happen to be in town or something

cove smiles at you...

it's unsettling

especially since this is the first time you've seen him since the breakup and its been years

you start talking a bit, you with very big eyes and a shaky voice

cove used to be so sensitive but now that he's in front of you again he seems so unaffected...

"y/n." "y-yes?" your heart is jumping in your chest... "i hope you're happy now." you pause, looking down and twisting your wedding band on your finger. "i dont know... some days i'm happy enough, but most days i.. i think about the what if's...." cove nods. somehow he feels satisfied hearing that, but he'd never admit it. "well i hope you can get over it, you made your decision so you need to make it work. goodbye y/n..."

in the end cove is so much stronger, of course he's still vulnerable with people, he's still a crybaby but the walls he's built around himself are high and it took a lot of therapy for him to get over the betrayal

when cove does start dating again and if he gets married especially, your mom's are in the pictures...

he looks so happy, so does cliff and kyra

if your mom's are in the pictures, especially the wedding pictures, it saddens you because you have no pictures of your family with baxter, it doesn't matter how many years go by.

hopefully you're happy with your decision <3

#our life: beginnings & always #olba #cove holden #baxter ward #our life baxter #cove holden x reader #baxter x reader #baxter ward x reader #cove our life #our life cove #cove holden x mc #cove holden angst #baxter ward angst #angst

[tmntxthings]

∑一stay in my memories。・゜・

author’s note: it’s such a tragedy that im just listening to this whole song now. i kept hearing that one popular part and finally finally listened to it all and wow ♪ memories by conan grey ♪

warnings: angst, past relationships, hurt/comfort? song inspired, unedited

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It’s been a couple of months since you. That was about the amount of time it took for Michelangelo to stop crying. His brothers had a pretty hard time too. So did Pops. They weren’t used to Mikey being so down. Feeling so blue. But he couldn’t help it, the breakup had been hard. The distance has been even harder. He knew he had spent every waking second with you, but it really felt like a punch to the plastron coming to the realization, that he was supposed to live without you now.

He had finally gotten to a point where looking at all those pictures of the two of you together didn’t hurt. It didn’t make him cry anymore. And most things had. All the little knickknacks, every single thing you had gotten him. The comics, the art supplies, the clothes that you sometimes wore. He couldn’t possibly get rid of it. Even when Donnie deduced it would help his grieving process. That it might speed things up and not make things so difficult.. to have constant reminders of you.

But Mikey couldn’t bear to lose one more piece of you. So he stuffed everything into a box.. at least the things he didn’t use on the daily, and hid them away in the back of his closet. And so the months passed and he was surviving, somehow.. someway without you. He sometimes wondered if it would’ve been better to have never met you. To have never gone through such heartache. But with the headspace he was at now, he knew that wouldn’t be true. It wouldn’t have been better. Because then he would’ve never experienced all those good times. The lovely moments, the loving moments with you. He couldn’t really ponder too hard about those still.. Donnie said he was 75% on the way to a complete recovery. Mikey thought he may just be saying that but most days he felt better. Enough to sometimes spare a smile at those old photos.

The two of you had gone back and forth like this countless times. But you always came back after a couple of days and Mikey readily opened his arms. It wasn’t the healthiest thing in the world, his brothers made sure to remind him that. But he couldn’t help what he felt in his heart for you. You were his sun. But this time.. it felt like the last. After those first couple of days he had waited with his phone clutched in his grasp. Waiting for a message, a call, anything to show him that you wanted him back. Raph said it was for the best. That he and you were just each other’s first love, and that it was always the hardest to get over.

“I’m heading up!” Mikey called out in the lair. It wasn’t uncommon nowadays to go topside alone. Though Raph asked if he wanted company. Mikey replied quickly, “Nah, I’ll be back in a few! I just wanna skate for a bit.. clear my head,” and that was all he needed to say. Raph understood and gave Mikey a warm grin and waved him off.

He could hear the sound of pouring rain halfway up the ladder to the manhole cover. It didn’t deter the orange clad turtle. Though skating in such conditions are unadvised, Mikey wasn’t your average skater. He was a ninja with rad skills. Plus the rain deterred others so it wouldn’t be packed at the park. And yet as Mikey pulled up his hood and covered the manhole with practiced ease. His board strapped to his shell underneath his orange hoodie, hoping it would stay dry til he reached his destination. He felt familiar chills run over his entire body. He turned to the alleyway opening, out to the lit up sidewalk, and there you were.

His breath caught in his throat. He hadn’t seen you in months. And there you were. Here you were. Staggering forward and drenched from the rain. His heart lurched at the sight. No no no no. This wasn’t happening. He had finally stopped hurting. He had finally started surviving without you! And yet as you called out his name,

“M-Mike?”

His breath sputtered as his hands went around himself. As if he could hold himself together. Like he wasn’t already falling apart. “What’re you doing Y/n?” His voice sounded foreign to even himself. He felt like he was dying. Something was clawing at his tattered and beaten heart. He didn’t want to face you. He didn’t want to think about you. No you were supposed to be in his memories. Not here before him, shivering from the cold and practically begging to be wrapped in his arms.

“I just wanna talk,” you murmured. Though the rain was still coming down, he heard you clearly. His ears straining for every word. His body was betraying him. Had it forgotten all of the pain it had went through? For months? For longer than that! The off and on and off and on again? You started moving forward and Mikey started to shake his head. You were talking again, trying to make it right, trying to explain.

“Just hear me out Angie, I know I’ve messed up bad. But I don’t think I can do it without you, I- I tried!”

The closer you got the more dizzy he felt. Until you were right before him and even the smell of the dripping rain couldn’t cover the alcohol that lingered on your breath. He winced inwardly, you weren’t here for him. You were here for you. Playing the victim once more despite claiming to own up to your mistakes. “Please Mikey, I swear I’ll do better, better for you, f-for us!”

His thoughts were cloudy. He wanted you to stay in his memories. The past was too traumatizing and all you did was bring it back. You threw it in his face as if his feelings didn’t truly matter. He was your crutch. He was all you had. And his heart strings, or what was left of them, pulled. He shook his head. He was trying so hard to get over you, to get over this. But you showed up, out of nowhere, months later, out of the blue in such a state! He felt the slow exhale wind down and out of his body. He knew the ending would always be the same with you. The two of you couldn’t be friends. He doubted the two of you could be the same lovers as you once were. All that you were doing now was preventing him from moving on, from yourself moving on to something new..

But since you came…

His arms slowly opened and you lurched forward. Wet and trembling the both of you, tears camouflaged by the unforgiving rain. “Okay,” he sighed, it was hardly even voiced. He was sure you couldn’t hear as you sobbed into his chest. Just happy he had let you in again. To break his heart once more. Maybe he was insane. Though he didn’t think things would change this time around. He was fully expecting to get his feelings crushed. But maybe one day you would take all of those things that had haunted him. The box full of reminders of you. Maybe if you took that with you this time around, maybe he’d truly get over you. And then you would stay in his memories.

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author’s note 2.0: it is most definitely recommended to listen while reading ;D most of the lyrics were used ^

#rise michelangelo x reader #michelangelo x reader #michelangelo hamato #rise mikey x y/n #rise mikey x reader #mikey x reader #mikey x y/n #rottmnt x reader #tmnt fandom #tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #turtle bros #mikey #tmnt michelangelo #michelangelo #rise michelangelo #conan grey #rottmnt fanfiction #tmnt fanfiction #rise tmnt oneshot #rottmnt oneshot #tmnt oneshot #rottmnt angst #tmnt angst #heartbreak #rise fanfic #Spotify

[faintedlcve]

Hellllooo,

Omg I really needed more swiftie mutuals <3

Please rant about all things you like, i love rants, gosh we seem to have so many close interests, I am not a writer tho, but I do read, effectively making me a reader which doesn't sound as cool, now that I think about it.

My fav Taylor song at the moment is "Slut!". I cannot get that out of my head. I mean "got lovesick all over my bed", I die a little everytime I hear that.

Fav Olivia song at the moment is logical (kinda like you username aah). I still CANNOT get over "can't take a joke, can't get you off". Like please kill me already.

Fav Sabrina song at the moment is probably "because i liked a boy". (damn who hurt me?)

And fav conan song at the moment, "Lookalike"

Tell me yours?

Nyc.

xx

hiiii

omg thank you thank you thank youuuu <33

okay so i love a lot of things some of them are pretty questionable but I'm questionable literally ask anyone on the discord server so its fine. anywhoo, i love taylor, maisie, gracie, phoebe, alix page, lucy (dacus not myself I'm not THAT narcissistic), olivia hardy (from wasia project) julien, conan, liv, sab (and @loserdiaz but that's a known fact) and so many other people to the point that even i cant keep track. oh and i love laufey, mitski and lyn lapid just bc.

my current fav by wasia project is petals on the moon but ur so pretty especially live from the studio is so gooddd

anywayss, reading is really cool thats how i got into writing (which is the best thing ever ik /hj) i also really really like reading bc it makes me smart and it's super fun

which is your favourite book series?? mine is lockwood and co as if you couldn't already tell by the amount of times I've mentioned it i also really love agggtm series bc why wouldn't it its so good. I'm sure i love so many more book series but my memory sucks (it does not but I'm lazy so I'll use that as an excuse)

anywhooo, i love scream which is weird bc i watched the first one when i was 10 (i know, who let me do that???) and i... liked it? (I'm very questionable i know) but i also tend to rant about it as if its real life (like WHY DID THEY KILL OF *insert name of dead character* IM SO MAD) and not a movie so I'm a bit annoying sometimes but pls don't tell me that otherwise I'll start crying /j

hmm my favourite taylor song atm would be "is it over now?" or "now that we don't talk" bc at the moment i resonate so well with those songs (ikr my life sounds like a nightmare: it is but it isn't really? idk) at yes i totally agree with the "got lovesick all over my bed statement but" also "love thorns all over this rose" and omg "you're not saying you're in love with me, BUT !! YOURE !! GONNA !! DO !!" like who gave taylor the right to be such a mastermind (funny, right? no? okay.) like the entire song, heck the entire album is so GOOD. HER ENTIRE DISCOGRAPHY IS SO GOOD. (this is totally normal fan behaviour btw)

favourite liv song atm is probably lacy but i love all of the songs all the album (and yes logical is soooo good i mean i have to love it otherwise my url is meaningless) but my favourite lyric from the entire album is probably "we both drew blood but man THOSE CUTS were NEVER EQUAL!!" from the grudge (also one of my top 3) bc that hits DEEP. (bc the cuts were deep, i know I'm so funny /j)

favourite sab song atm is prolly cindy lou who / opposite (been there) / a nonsense christmas. i cheated but i simply cant choose one shes too good. also super funny bc cindy lou who and opposite are like sad vibes and then a nonsense christmas i want you to [redacted] and [redacted] me on the couch while we [redacted] presents (sorry i just think I'm so funny when I'm not but dont tell me that i wanna be a stand up comedian no I'm just kidding I'm not a failure. IM JOKING) (also regarding bc i liked a boy, I agree. who hurt you???)

anyways, my favourite conan song atm is prolly the best known option "heather" BUT i also like "the cut that always bleeds" the entire of kid krow tbh

okay i wrote a lot asdxcasdcvafd sorry

alsooo, you didnt ask this but my favourite gracie abrams song atm is "where do we go now?" and "cedar" (you arent mine) bc its such a heartbreaking song especially when you can relate to it. ooh and i also love camden, painkillers, rockland and long sleeves but they're all pretty depressing so if you don't like sad songs they're prolly not for you.

and THANK YOU for this ask this was so fun send me more sometimes <333

#taylor swift #gracie abrams #maisie peters #olivia rodrigo #sabrina carpenter #conan gray #boygenius #phoebe bridgers #lucy dacus #julien baker #alix page #music #moots <3 #luce posts 💌

[20thcentwriter]

The tracklist

with lyrics fitting to the story

Note- the first four songs are pretaining to Edith's feelings of Felix post break up. The rest go whereever. Also some songs the pronouns are gendered swapped :)

Traitor- Olivia Rodrigo

I guess you didn't cheat but your still a traitor

History of man - Maisie Peters

Women's hearts are lethal weapons. Did you hold mine and feel threatened

Get him back - Olivia Rodrigo

I wanna get him back... I wanna make him feel bad

Just one yesterday - fall out boy

I want to teach you a lesson in a worst kind of way

Cruel to be kind- letters to cleo

Though you say you're my friends I'm at my wits ends

Fight or flight - Conan gray

Fight or flight I'd rather lie than tell you I'm in love with you

The (shipped) gold standard - fall out boy

I wanna scream "I love you" from the top of my lungs but I'm afraid someone else will hear me

Hold me like a grudge - fall out boy

Hold me, hold me like a grudge

I don't smoke - mitski

So if you need to mean, be mean to me

Bad idea - girl in red

Was such a bad idea cause now I'm even more lost

You put your hands under my shirt, undid my bra and said these words "darling you're so pretty it's hurts" you push me up against my wall, threw my clothes down on the floor

That way - Tate McRae

Everytime we talk it just hurts so bad cause' I don't even know what we are

We say we're friends but I'm catching you across the room - it makes so sense

Can't tell if I love or hate you more

But friends don't look at look at friends that way

In-between -gracie abrams

she laughs at his eyes, at his smile, at the glasses on his face

Tear in my heart- twenty one pilots

She's the tear in my heart, I'm alive

The only exception - Paramore

I've got a tight grip on reality but I can't let go of what's in front of me here

Interlude: I'm not angry anymore - Paramore

I'm not bitter anymore I'm syrupy sweet

Banner made by me

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

#ewan mitchell #ewan nation #ewanverse #michael gavey #ewan mitchell x reader #michael gavey x reader #michael gavey x oc #saltburn #saltburn fanfiction #modern aemond x reader #aemond targaryen #felix catton #oliver quick #venetia catton #original character #tracklist #spotify playlist #character playlist #fic playlist #Spotify

[mxmentos]

memories.

song ; memories by conan gray. characters ; xiao x y/n genre ; angst to fluff, songfic word count ; 2.1k cw/tw ; none a/n ; collab fic between @mxmentos and @vellichxrr6782 ! ilysm lilith thank you so much for writing with me <33 looking forward to more collabs !! you can find more fics in our masterlist !!

it's been a couple months.

xiao stared at his phone with a blank expression on his face. he scrolled through pictures of you and him, sighing. he fiddled around with the sleeves of his knitted sweater, reminiscing the day when you gifted it to him for your anniversary. 

a few months had passed since you and xiao broke up. it was on your request, but xiao couldn’t help but blame himself entirely for it, even after reassurance from you that it wasn’t about him at all.

that’s just about enough time,

despite telling himself numerous times to stop looking at pictures of the past, his gaze always lingered on the gallery app for far too long, to the point where he had to open them. it was routine by now, and xiao had long given up on trying to stop himself from reliving what was already gone.

xiao grumbled to himself, reprimanding himself for his repetitive and unfruitful actions. he took one last glance at you, grinning in the photo he took of you. a smile made its way to his face, his features softening. 

for me to stop crying when i look at all the pictures,

he wasn’t used to the silence your absence brought. xiao swore he could still hear your voice sometimes, albeit he realised phrasing it like that made it sound like you were dead. you weren’t, fortunately. 

xiao switched his phone off, closing his eyes as he let himself collect his thoughts. 

now i kinda smile, i haven't felt that in a while.

xiao sometimes wished he could turn back time. everyone did, once in a while, right? he wished he could’ve said something when you turned around and left through the door, leaving only his memories of you behind.

he often wondered to himself – what could he have done to make things better? what could he have done to change the way things turned out?

what could he have done in order to make you stay?

it's late, i hear the door

bell ringin' and it's pourin'

xiao’s eyes widened; who would visit him this late? he usually didn’t have visitors, certainly after what had happened a while back. he got up from his bed, quickly making his way down the empty silent hallways of his home. it wasn’t exactly home without you, though.

“who is it?” he asked, before opening the door.

“it’s me, [name]!” a muffled familiar voice echoed from the other side.

the sudden tone of your voice made xiao’s heart thump faster than it had ever before. perhaps he was dreaming, but he felt wider awake than he had ever been. he even resorted to pinching the skin of his left arm just to make sure. “[name]...?”

i open up that door, see your brown eyes at the entrance

xiao opened the curtains and couldn’t believe his eyes. it was the same [h/c] hair, the same star-studded eyes, and the same gentle, little smile. was it really you?

xiao hesitated to turn the doorknob. why did he, though? isn’t this moment the one he had been waiting for, the one that he had been picturing in his dreams for months now?

the time when you would finally come back to him with open arms? the time when you considered… a second chance?

you just wanna talk and,

xiao shook his head, trying to get those thoughts away from him. you were finally outside his door, and he didn’t want you to be drenched in the rain. sighing, he turned the doorknob and was face-to-face with your welcoming smile.

“hi.” you waved, grinning. your cheeks were flushed with red. you leaned in close to xiao. “xiao.” 

i can't turn away a wet dog

you leaned in, your breath fanning across xiao’s soft skin, and then it struck him when the scent of alcohol filled the air. 

you were drunk.

he felt a slight pang in his heart that you didn’t visit him in your right state of mind, but he brushed it away and made way for you to come in. he couldn’t send you away, now, could he?

“[name]. you’re drunk.” xiao mumbled, and you stumbled into the house, crashing into his arms. 

xiao’s cheeks flushed pink, and he tried to push you off, but failed. he told himself it was because you were heavy, and not because he didn’t have the heart to. 

“was with,” you began, swallowing, “hu tao. i got…drunk.” 

of course you were with hu tao. in who else’s company would you irresponsibly get drunk and crash at your ex’s place?

“tao called up. yanfei.” you stated, burying your face into xiao’s sweater. “i, hic, didn’t know where else to go.” 

“you could’ve gone home.” xiao said, a little too harshly. you nodded in a ‘no’.

“but you are my home.” 

but please don't ruin this for me.

xiao furrowed his brows, the blush on his cheeks growing wider second by second. it was stupid how you made him blush by spewing nonsense. “shut up.” he said. “please.” the please was softer, and you barely heard it. 

“i try to be cute and romantic, and you’re…you’re.” you puffed your cheeks, trying to sound angry.

xiao raised a brow, amused (but tired). “i’m what?”

“i forgot the word.”

xiao let out a small sigh, getting up. you frowned. “i’ll get you a glass of water.” he made his way to his kitchen, and you followed like a lost puppy. 

please don't make it harder than it already is,

you rest your head on the kitchen counter, watching xiao fill up a glass. even though you were drunk, you’d still noticed how nothing had changed since you left. 

the pictures on the fridge of you and him (which xiao would definitely claim he forgot to remove even though the truth was he didn’t have the heart to), the plants you both decided to grow together, and everything. 

xiao didn’t like change. and you knew that better than anyone. he despised it, almost. he could never cope with it. 

in deep thought, your eyes met with his.

“you’re so pretty, xiao.” you smiled, a dream-like expression washing over your face. 

xiao stiffened up, quickly turning away from you to hide his face. in his bashful state, he managed to mumble out. “please, [name]. i can’t.”

“you can’t what?” you asked. 

xiao looked you in the eyes, desperation clear as day. 

“i can’t fall in love with you. not again.” 

i’m trying to get over this

that was a lie. he was always in love with you. he’d already fallen for you again the second he saw your face at the door. you playfully chuckled, meeting his eyes as he tried to avert them from your gaze for what seemed like the millionth time. 

“silly xiao! don’t lie to me, you love me, and you know it. that sweater you’re wearing is proof enough for me.” you cheerfully remarked, and xiao realised he’d forgotten to remove it. 

he sighed as he handed over a cup filled with water to you, unwilling to admit his lingering feelings towards you that refused to go away. you drank the water in one, big gulp as xiao took a seat next to you. you turned to him with dreamy eyes, leaning closer to him.

“xiao… don’t you know how much i miss you, love?”

“you’re just saying this because you’re drunk.” xiao took a seat on the chair in the kitchen, resting his head on his arm. he couldn’t wait for you to leave, he thought in his head, but then immediately backed it up with a remark about lying to himself. 

“sober words are drunk thoughts.” you claimed, crossing your arms proudly, as if you’d just found the cure to cancer. 

“no, it’s the other way around.”

“whatever, same thing. you know what i mean.” 

i wish that you would stay in my memories

you placed your hand on his cheeks, caressing it gently. he flinched, but didn’t have the heart to back away from you. he hoped for something to force him to speak his mind. how had it become this hard to utter a simple “no”?

he sighed, knowing that this was now or never. if he let you back into his life, it meant that you would break his delicate, glass shards of his heart into mere fragments. if he didn’t, then it would be for the best for the both of you.

without thinking, he began to remove your hand from his palm. you looked slightly taken aback by his unexpected actions, but he didn’t care anymore. or at least, he thought he didn’t.

he began to rise from his seat and turn away, fixing his eyes upon one of the pictures stuck on the fridge. it was the one taken around october in which you rested your head over xiao’s shoulder. only if his younger self had known you better, he thought, this crisis would have never existed.

to be honest with himself, he truly wished that you were the same person he met under the cherry tree that fateful day. the same person whom he had cherished and stayed in his memories.

but you show up today, just to ruin things

of course, the only thing keeping him away from expressing these feelings was you.

he didn’t mind it, though. his inexpressibility only gave him an excuse to stay with you. but he didn’t know how much longer he could keep up with this. how much longer he would be your boxing bag for you to exert your feelings on as long as you pleased.

it would be an understatement to say that he missed you over the months that passed. his thoughts of you never swerved away like the seasons did. he really did wish to see your face again, to feel your lips touching his for one, last time.

i wanna put you in the past 'cause i'm traumatised

by the time he turned back to meet your starry gaze, you were asleep on his kitchen counter. his lungs filled with adoration at the sight of you. he couldn’t help but smile as he imagined the look on your face the next morning.

as much as he hoped that you would see him again, he never expected the day to come. his heart was filled with regret from the way he treated you tonight, reminding himself that this might’ve been the last chance he ever went up this close to his ex.

all-in-all, he was grateful that you visited him, even if you didn’t mean to.

but you're not lettin' me do that, 'cause tonight,

you're all drunk in my kitchen, curled in the foetal position

xiao carefully lifted your body, which was now in the foetal position. he slowly carried you towards his bedroom. he placed his feet on the staircase, one step after another. he made sure to not make any noise so that you wouldn’t wake up.

xiao opened the door with his elbow, and made his way to the bed. he gently laid your body on top of the mattress before placing a blanket over you. you rested your head on the fluffy pillow as xiao sat beside you on a chair nearby. 

he adored your features, all from your velvety hair to your dainty toes. he resisted the urge to place his hand over yours. then again, this might be the last time he would ever see you. he hesitantly cupped your cheeks in his hands, placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

too busy playing the victim to be listening to me when i say,

he caressed your face, as you slept soundly. affection danced in his eyes while his fingers ran themselves through your messy and knotted hair. xiao smiled softly to himself, whispering ‘good night’ to you. 

he was about to leave, when he felt your hand grasp his. “don’t go, xiao.” you mumbled drowsily. 

and who was xiao to say no to you? no matter how hard he tried, he would always give in to you no matter what. 

he carefully put his head on the pillow, making sure to not disturb you. he faced to look at you, observing your soft features under his dim bedroom lights, and he leaned in. 

pressing a gentle, chaste kiss to your forehead again, xiao wrapped his arms around you to keep you warm. 

i wish that you would stay in my memories,

it’s funny, isn’t it? where life leads you from one place to another. just mere hours ago, he was disheartened about you being gone, and now, he was embracing you as if nothing happened. 

he wished he’d made different choices, ones that would’ve left you in his past, as a chapter, rather than in the present, as his story. 

in my memories, stay in my memories.

but nevertheless, it was too late for xiao.

too late for him to tell you to leave, too late for him to forget you, too late for him to fall out of love again because he knew it wasn’t possible.

it was too late for him to wish you would stay in his memories.

fic by @/mxmentos and @/vellichxrr6782 on tumblr. note: we do not own any of the lyrics in this story, they belong to the original creators of the song. please support the artist(s) by listening to the song linked above, thank you <33

#꒰🍷꒱┊❝ mo's fics. ❞ #[🔖vellichxrr writes ] #lilith <3 #xiao #xiao x y/n #xiao angst #genshin x reader #memories #THE CONAN GRAY ONE #conan gray #genshin angst #pls read we spent a lot of time on this thank you <3 #songfic

[afmis]

Inspired by my last post… the SONGS I’d pick for c!beeduo? SO GOOD ‼️ my c!beeduo playlist was literal genius guys

If I may share some… 😏

Friendly Neighborhood Poltergeist by Rory Webley-

I like to pretend Ghostboo never existed. But if c!beeduo had been portrayed well and cc!beeduo hadn’t been such PUSSIES ‼️ …ghostboo could’ve been SO good. Such a painful arc for them. Like a love triangle 🥰 but it’s two of the same person and their husband 💀 anyways 😭 this song always reminds me of ghostboo. How c!tubbo would’ve just ignored him in favor or missing c!ranboo. While ghostboo felt like he could’ve been better

Lovefool by The Cardigans-

A classic. Obv, after the burger arc. Where c!ranboo immediately jumps to conclusions. Tho I also feel like with the way c!tubbo was written in that arc… ya can’t blame c!ranboo 💀

Francis Forever by Mitski

Mitski is literally c!Tubbo’s artist. Her songs are literally like all in c!Tubbo’s pov. But this one I’d imagine is after c!ranboo’s death, and where he doesn’t know how to go on after

If You Leave by Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark

I kinda imagine, in my better canon ending. They kinda wistfully parted ways. I think this one captures that ending well (OFC in my ending they got back tg after)

It Will Rain by Bruno Mars

In my perspective, c!Tubbo was written HORRIBLY. I think bc cc!tubbo hated cc!ranboo he didn’t even try with c!beeduo’s relationship 💀 but I imagine, and I rlly wish he was written in this way, that c!Tubbo really did love c!Ranboo. He was just as smitten as canon c!Ranboo was with c!Tubbo. He just wasn’t great at expressing it, and he always thought c!Ranboo could do better. But he was secretly terrified of c!Ranboo leaving, and he didn’t want that. Ofc, “cuz there’ll be no sunshine if I lose you baby” and “if you walk away, everyday it’ll rain”. He would be devastated if c!Ranboo left, not uncaring like c!Tubbo was portrayed

Warning Sign by Coldplay

Like my last one says, I think c!Tubbo was very insecure when it came to c!Beeduo’s relationship. He 100% thought c!Ranboo deserved better and thought c!Ranboo would be better without him. So I think he would’ve let him go. I think this song would show that kinda misery that came with actually LOSING c!ranboo and not having them in his life. He’d be running into c!ranboo’s arms fr 😭

I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston

I think in the fucked up canon where c!beeduo weren’t meant for each other in the end. They would come to the conclusion that being married wasn’t for the best. So this song would be c!Ranboo leaving bc they know they aren’t what c!Tubbo needs. C!Tubbo would need more than c!Ranboo. Hey, I never said I liked my perspective of canon c!beeduo 💀

The Exit by Conan Gray

Every time I hear this song I remember c!Beeduo and just cry. But I kinda imagine post burger arc, c!Ranboo is just heartbroken and c!Tubbo is unapathethic. They grow apart. c!Tubbo is happier away and living his life. Even months later, c!Ranboo is still left wondering what went wrong with their life and their family and trapped in the past. They haven’t healed, aka “feels like we had matching wounds, but mine’s still black and bruised and yours is perfectly fine”. They’re just sad and heartbroken 😿 c’mon c!tubbo

Save Your Tears by The Weeknd

Every since this song came out, I think around the divorce arc, I’ve immediately thought of c!beeduo. In c!Tubbo’s pov ofc. “You look so happy when I’m not with you. But then you saw me, caught you by surprise . A single teardrop falling from your eyes. I don’t know why I run away. I make you cry when I run away. You could’ve asked me why I broke your heart. You could’ve told me that you fell apart. But you walked past me like I wasn’t there. You just pretended that you didn’t care. “ and “Girl take me back cuz I wanna stay, save your tears for another- I realize that I’m much too late and you deserve someone better. “ I feel like this would either be present burger arc or post. Maybe both. c!Ranboo heartbroken and c!Tubbo realizing and wanting to fix things

Level of Concern by Twenty One Pilots

Present burger arc. “Cause I told you my level of concern, but you walked by like you never heard” I’m act not quite sure for which of them I picked this song for. Maybe c!Ranboo being worried during the whole like. c!Tubbo and c!Quackity partnering thing and c!Tubbo being oblivious/dismissing it. Or c!Tubbo being worried about them and c!Ranboo ignoring his questions due to being angry

Little Talks by Monsters and Men

I think this song fits the change from the happy-go-lucky honeymoon phase where everything is perfect, to the “uh-oh, something’s wrong” start of unraveling and distrust of their relationship. Obv, c!Tubbo is the one who is panicked and feeling unsure, while c!Ranboo is the one who is trying to comfort him

Christmas in June by AJR

This is just bc of the animatic I saw years agon💀 but I feel like it is fitting. GO WATCH THE ANIMATIC THO IT’S SO CUTE, I THINK IT’S CALLED CHRISTMAS IN JUNE. BEEDUO? ANIMATIC? IDK 😭 GO WATCH IT THO

Stray Italian Greyhound by Vienna Teng

This isn’t less of the divorce arc and more of just c!beeduo in general 😭 to where I’d imagine the canon where they wouldn’t end up enemies LMFAO. This song is SOOOOOO c!Tubbo, panicking bc he accepted he’d never have a happy ending and here comes warm, loving c!Ranboo to turn that around. So cute

When He Sees Me (a lot of artists, it’s from the Waitress musical 😭)

c!Tubbo fr. Post L’Manberg, logical and pessimistic c!Tubbo who doesn’t ever see himself finding love. But he does want to be loved and meet the one, he’s just scared because he doesn’t feel like anyone could love him

Love Like You (Steven Universe lol)

I’M SORRRYYY IK THIS ONE IS SO OVERDONE 💀 but this fits c!Tubbo so well. Sorry I love me some c!Tubbo study y’all. Once him and c!Ranboo get “platonically” married, become really close and they rlly start to love each other. c!Tubbo is like holy guacamole. He’s literally the most incredible and kind-hearted person he’s ever met and he’s just too good. Nothing like c!Tubbo. And he’s like what’s he doing with me 😿 (hence the whole “he deserves better I’m so emo” thing)

I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith

This song makes me so emotional it’s so beautiful 😭 but I’d like to imagine c!Beeduo as this beautiful, loving, completely smitten relationship. I feel like in the beginning, around like March-June 2021 where they’re like wow this is new I’m like secretly in love with my platonic husband (or after they finally makeout) and we’re staring into each other’s eyes and everything’s so perfect and I’m so happy. This song is what I imagine c!Beeduo’s relationship as. Completely in love, like a dream

Strawberry Blond by Mitski

(Back to the divorce arc again LOL) c!Tubbo being oblivious and happy with his new life selling… burgers. c!Ranboo just smiling through the pain like I’m SO happy for you *ugly sobbing* but he loves c!Tubbo too much so he’ll put up with whatever

Sally’s Song (Nightmare Before Christmas)

I watched this movie for the first time around the c!Beeduo divorce arc. Yeah ik 💀 but when I heard this song I was like HOOOOOOOO THIS IS THEM FR ‼️ naw bc like “I sense there’s something in the wind that feels like tragedy’s at hand. And though I’d like to stand by him, can’t shake this feeling that I have. The worst is just around the bend. And does he notice my feelings for him? When will he see how much he means to me? I think it’s not to be” LITERALLY the whole song is c!Ranboo I’m just not gonna copy and paste the entire thing 😭 in the canon I think c!Ranboo would be the one who’s aware that the burger arc can only lead to bad things, and c!Tubbo’s oblivious (HE WOULD NOT BE BUT 🙄). Alas, c!Ranboo doesn’t want to say anything and silently supporters c!Tubbo’s decision, knowing c!Tubbo is ignoring c!Ranboo’s feelings

I Love You So by The Walters

I would play this song on loop just thinking abt c!Beeduo back then 😭 and every time I hear it I’m like ah. The gays. “You’re saying I’m the one but it’s your actions that speak louder” c!Ranboo seeing c!Tubbo isn’t SHOWING that he loves c!Ranboo. “I’ve got to get away and let you go, I gotta get over… but I love you so” c!Ranboo knowing he needs to leave c!Tubbo but he loves him too much to leave. “I hope you feel what I felt when you shattered my soul, cuz you were cruel and I’m a fool, so please let me go” c!Ranboo eventually building resentment and leaving

Happier by Olivia Rodrigo

“Oh, I hope you’re happy. But not like how you were with me. I’m selfish, I know. I can’t let you go. So find someone great, but don’t find no one better. I hope you’re happy, but don’t be happier. “ c!Ranboo would 100% be the bitter ex-wife who loves c!Tubbo but also wishes him the worst LOL. He’d be like “yeah we’re done and I don’t wanna be with you, I hope whoever you end up with or whatever you end up doing doesn’t make you happy”

Feeling Lonely by boy pablo

“Can’t help it, I just miss you. How did I lose you now again? “ c!Tubbo. After the burger arc, c!Ranboo is bitter, distances himself, starts spending less time in snowchester and with c!tubbo, talks to him less and less until he’s not even there anymore. c!Tubbo finally stops being oblivious and is like “pookie what happened 😕💔” and turns into actual devastation bc he’s actually sad that c!Ranboo’s gone and he lost him

Alr folks 😭 that’s it. I’ll link my sloppy, unfinished (and probably will never be finished) c!beeduo playlist if desired. Y’all can take a look if desired :) if you actually got this far, I commend you. But I probably would’ve as well 💀 I’m desperate for any ounce of c!beeduo I can get. LOVE YOU, BYE!

playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5BmmigtYA6GkOfFpaiFMda?si=uzocViyuRSyjK6scrJeKfA&pi=u-hU4qqT47SwqK

#c!beeduo #beeduo #cbeeduo #c!beeduo /r #c!tubbo #c!ranboo #dsmp

[marie-swriting]

The Memories Of Our Relationship - Shawn Mendes

Masterlist

Superache Masterlist

Summary : You finally start moving on from your relationship with Shawn, but he decided to come at your place in the middle of the night.

Warnings : angst, sad ending, Shawn is drunk, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word Count : 1.7k

French version on Wattpad

French version on Tumblr

Song inspiration : Memories by Conan Gray

The sound of your doorbell drags you out of bed. You blink your eyes quickly before rubbing them and looking at the time on your phone. You’re wondering who could be at your place at two in the morning. You sigh, annoyed before getting out of your room and walking to the door. You look through the peephole and see Shawn, a sad expression on his face and his hair wet from the rain. You hadn’t seen each other for the past two months, since your breakup. You have no idea why he’s here. You hesitate before opening to him, concerned you’re making a mistake. After debating with yourself mentally, you decide to give him a chance. After all, he wouldn’t be here if he didn’t have a good reason. As soon as you open the door, Shawn stumbles into your apartment. You roll your eyes and close behind him, already reconsidering your decision.

“What are you doing here ?” You ask him while he stays in the middle of your living room.

“I want to talk to you.” He announces before taking his wet coat off and putting it on the coat rack.

“It’s two AM, Shawn.”

“I know but I need to.” Shawn insists and you realise his voice is a bit different.

“Are you drunk ?”

“No, I just drank one glass.” He denies, but you know him.

“Look, just say what you wanna tell me quickly, I have to wake up tomorrow. I mean, in five hours.”

“I… I want us to get back together.”

When you hear his sentence, the fatigue officially leaves your body. You raise your eyebrows and you hope you misheard. You rub your temples, closing your eyes for a second. When you open them again, you can see the seriousness on his face.

“You’re the one who wanted to break up.” You retort before playing with your butterfly pendant hanging down your neck.

“I know, and I regret it.”

“It’s a bit too late now.”

He doesn’t listen to you and starts walking in your living room, looking around. His eyes are full of nostalgia while he reminisces about your relationship. You look at him from afar, not knowing what to do. His inebriated state doesn’t help you to make him aware of the situation. At one point, he stops and takes an object on your living room table. Even if you don’t see it, you know what he took. You trot toward him and remove the book from his hands.

“You still have our photo album ?” He asks with a stupid smile on his face. “I thought you’d have thrown it away by now.”

“Tonight is the first time I looked at it since our breakup, actually.”

“So you admit it, you miss what we had as well.”

“I never said that.” You affirm gripping on the book a bit harder.

“So why did you take it out after all this time ?”

“I don’t really know. I… I suppose I wanted to see if I could look at the pictures without breaking down.”, you explain and before he can smile, you quickly add, “which I can.”

Shawn doesn’t say anything, not convinced by your answer. He starts strolling around again before going to your kitchen. He pours himself a glass of water. He drinks it in one gulp, then he puts it in the dishwasher. You join him again, more and more annoyed by his behaviour. You wish he’d finally leave you alone, especially because you need to rest. You cross your arms over your chest before taking a determined tone.

“Why are you here, Shawn ?”

“I told you, I want us to get back together. I shouldn’t have let you go. I was an idiot.”

“You wanted it because of the distance and your job it was too complicated.”

“But you, you didn’t want it.” He retorts and you look away for a second. “You wanted to find a solution to make things work. And I was so sure I was right I didn’t listen to your arguments, like a moron. I should have. I don’t want to lose you. Without you, I’m nothing. Please, let me fix my stupid mistake.” He begs, trying to take your hand.

“Shawn, stop it.”, your order as you take a step back, “I’m finally moving on, I don’t need to hear you say that.”

“But deep down, you still love me.”

“Of course.”, you state as if it was obvious, “You’ll always have a special place in my heart, but it doesn’t mean we should be together again.”

“Why not ?”

“Love is not always enough. It didn’t work once, a second time wouldn’t be any better. Trust me, I haven’t stopped thinking about it for the last two months. I’ve imagined every scenario and there’s no happy ending for us. If you hadn’t broken up with me, we would have done it later. We were already falling out of love so our relationship was going to have an end, at some point.”

“We could stay friends ? I still want to be a part of your life.” He proposes with an ounce of hope and you’re trying not to give in.

“We can’t. It wouldn’t be a good thing, because we’d prevent each other from moving on with someone else. It’s better if we don’t talk anymore.” You tell him, your hands playing with your necklace.

“Y/N, please.”

“Oh my God, listen to me for once in your life !”, you lose your temper running your hand on your face, “I don’t want to. I was fine with the memories of our relationship. Of course when you left me, I was devastated and mad at you. I even thought I’d always have memories of you where I’d hate you, but then I realised you were right from the beginning. I have good memories of you, of us and you’re currently ruining everything. So stop it. You were perfect when you were just in my memories. I didn’t need to see you tonight, especially if you were gonna say that. I’ll always have affection for you, but it is over.”

Shawn simply nods with teary eyes while you breath heavily. You know you just broke his heart, but you need to protect yours. You had to be straight with him. You don’t like being the cause of his pain, but you don’t have any other choice. He doesn’t answer you, understanding it’s a lost cause. He leaves the room while you’re getting a grip on yourself. You breathe many times before finding back Shawn in your living room, asleep on your couch. Frustrated, you sigh, but decide to not wake him up. His drunkenness won’t allow you to make him get out of your house easily anyway and you don’t want him to drive and be the reason for an accident. 

You leave him a glass of water and some medicine before taking a blanket. As you put it on him, Shawn opens his eyes for a moment. He looks at you as you’re leaning in above him and his eyes find your necklace, making him smile foolishly.

“You’re still wearing it.”

You don’t have the time to open your mouth because he falls back asleep right away. You look at him one last time and go back to your bedroom. You roll over in your bed for a bit as you think back at your discussion with Shawn. You wipe some tears on your cheek before finally being able to fall back asleep.

When your alarm goes off three hours later, you’re mad at Shawn for cutting your sleep short. You struggle to get out of bed, but you force yourself to get dressed for work. When you’re ready, you go to your living room after taking a box that has been lying in your closet around the past two months. You put it next to the couch and shake Shawn. He needs a minute to surface. When he sees you, he can’t help but have a smile on his face. For him, he’s back to the beginning of your relationship, where everything was well, where you were happy together. But your neutral expression brings him back to reality. He sits down before taking the glass of water and the medicine he just saw. When he’s done, he stands up in front of you. You point at the box before speaking.

“These are your stuff. I think there is a coat, books and CDs. I wasn’t able to give them back to you before”, you inform and he stays silent, “you can take them back.” You insist.

“You weren’t joking when you were saying you wanted our relationship to stay only memories.” Shawn says laughing to hide his pain.

“If I want to move on, I don’t have any other choice. Oh, there’s that, too.” You say, removing your necklace.

“No, Y/N, you can keep it. It belongs to you and you only.”

“I know, but I feel like as long as I’ll have it, I won’t be able to grieve our love story and I don’t want to throw it away, so take it.” You clarify, handing the jewel.

“If it’s what you want.” He murmurs, taking it.

Shawn looks at the necklace, admiring the silver butterfly. Your attempt at your first kiss had been interrupted by the appearance of the insect with beautiful blue wings. You had laughed before being able to finally kiss. The butterfly had quickly become your symbol. You love this necklace. You always touch it whenever you’re feeling a negative emotion. But you can’t keep wearing it.

Shawn puts it in the box carefully. He takes the box before walking to the door. You open it for him and he starts leaving, his head down. You’re about to close the door when he turns around one last time.

“I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have come. You’re right.”, he admits before taking a deep breath, “You’ll also always have a special place in my heart. I love you.”

You wish you could say it back, but the words stay stuck in your throat because it’s not the thing to say. Deep down, you know it. So you smile at him sadly before  closing the door symbolising the end of the chapter of the story with Shawn.

Masterlist

Superache Masterlist

{This is my side blog so I'll be answering comments under the username @marie-sworld}

#marie swriting in english #marie swriting with conan gray #marie swriting with music #marie swriting with superache #shawn mendes one shot #shawn mendes x you #shawn mendes x reader #celebrities one shot #shawn mendes x y/n #shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes x fem reader #shawn mendes x female reader #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes angst #Spotify

[tw-inkl-e-tit-s]

Memories | E.M

Stranger Things Master List|Main Master List

Paring: Eddie Munson x GN!Reader

song: Memories by Conan gray

Warnings: Fighting* Cussing* Mentions of breakup and Cheating*

It's been a couple of months since me and Eddie broke up, I missed him so much but I didn't want to face him, I stopped crying over the situation, I just didn't have any more tears to cry, My heart just broke and I felt numb. I Would Look back at photos of me and Eddie when we were happy, it just hurt me even more, If I could go back to that night where we were fighting in my kitchen, I would change everything and take him back, but he hurt me so bad.

 Dustin always talked about him telling me that he's always drunk and high out of his mind and how he looks like complete shit, he said that he's canceled D&D several times to just sit in his trailer and drink his pain away, Dustin said when he showed up to eddies just to check up on him... it was filthy, bear bottles everywhere and dirty dishes pilled up. Dustin was such a good friend when he found out about my and Eddie's breakup he took time out of his day to check up on both of us making sure we were both fine.

I was soon Knocked out of my thoughts hearing a knock on my front door, I looked at myself in the mirror, I looked a mess, I combed My Fingers threw my hair trying to tame it, I walked to the door hearing another knock and a ring of my doorbell, Part of me hoped it was Eddie but another part hops it wasn't for the fact that I might break down in front of him.

I opened up the door... soon being met by big brown eyes, I swear all I wanted to do was hold him and tell him how much I love him, Dustin wasn't wrong he did look a mess, his hair was all knotted and even more frizzy than normal, he had bags under his eyes, his cloths we ripped up a bit, his eyes were bloodshot, he was soaked from the cold pouring rain outside, he smelled of alcohol. we stood there looking at each other not knowing what to say to one another, " I just wanna Talk " He said Looking at me with glossy eyes, as much as I wanted to look away and shut my door... I can't turn away, I let him in and we walked into my kitchen, I sat down on my countertop as he stood on the other side of the room messing with his hands... a nervous tick of his, come on Ed please don't ruin this for me... Please don't make it harder than it already is I'm trying to get over this, I thought to myself looking down at the ground.

"I wish that you would stay in my memories," I say looking up at him, he glances up at me then looks down at his shoes, "But you showed up today just to ruin things" I got up off the counter walking towards him slowly he backed up slowly and I stopped walking feeling my eyes burn as tears threatened to spill, "I wanna put you In the past cause I'm traumatized! " he let out a sob as he fell to the ground in the fetal position. I let out a shaky sob as I looked at him,  "but you're not letting me do that, 'cause tonight you're all drunk in my kitchen curled in the fetal position too busy playing the victim to be listening to me... I wish that you would stay in my memories!!" I screamed at him bawling my eyes out even more now than before.

"Please I'm so so sorry Y/N just let me stay here for the night... I have nowhere to go my uncle locked me out and the heater in my van doesn't work... Please!" he asked crying softly as he held his knees to his chest, I felt bad for him sure I did... But he didn't feel bad about cheating on me.

"Now I can't say goodbye if you stay here the whole night, You see, it's hard to find an end to something that you keep beginning Over and over again... I promise that the ending always stays the same So there's no good reason in make believing that we could ever exist again, I can't be your friend, can't be your lover Can't be the reason we hold back each other from falling in love... With somebody other than me, I wish that you would stay in my memories" I say falling onto the ground and holding onto my knees. I got up off the ground walking to my room Eddie Following behind me, "Since you came, I guess I'll let you stay For as long as it takes" I looked at a pile of Eddie's things in a box that I had packed away " To grab your books and your coat And that one good cologne That you bought when we were fighting 'Cause it's still on my clothes, everything that I own And it makes me feel like dying I was barely just surviving!!!" I grabbed the box of things throwing it at him walking over to my desk grabbing his hoodie off my chair that I would snuggle with every night, I grabbed it catching a whiff of Eddie's cologne mixed with weed, I'm gonna miss that smell. I tossed him the hoodie watching him catch it looking back up at me with his sad brown eyes, I looked away for the fear of giving in and letting him stay.

"you need to leave Ed," I said looking at the ground, he sniffled nodding his head turned around, and walked out of my room... I wish he knew how bad it hurt, How bad he hurt me.

he made it to my front door As I opened the door for him to walk out, as he made his way out now standing on my porch he turned around to look at me " Y/N... I'm sorry, I was drunk and she pushed herself onto me and kissed me I tried pushing her away, It's all my fault and I'm sorry... you don't deserve this, you deserve so much better... it was great knowing you, and fuck it was great getting to be your boyfriend, I'm gonna miss you so fucking much... I Love you so much Y/N" he said to me as he cried, I looked at him, his big brown puppy eyes filled with tears... the eyes I'm gonna miss, the ones I thought I would get to stare into for the rest of my life.

I shut the door in his face, sliding down the door and letting out a scream. I couldn't control my sobs my whole body shaking with how hard I was crying and gasping for air, I heard Eddies van start before he drove off, I walked to my room laying down on my bed, Eddies smell still lingered in my room giving me comfort as I closed my eyes.

 "I wish that you would stay in my memories" I mumbled before drifting off to sleep

...

Eddie Munson Tag list 🖤: @yearwalker96 @milfvibesonly @thefreakofhawkins86 @slyisbehindyou @littlestarfighter03

@ethen-often @luumunson @shinsouscatpisssmell @ahswhore0

@3rriberri @eddiesbunnie @mavex @cyberfaii @beebslebobs

@honey-flustered @yandere-nctsstuff @wh0reforeddie @caitlin333

@sxfemilf @choco-aj @mermemerald @tommyriddleobsessed

@sidefanficaccounttohidemyshame @frogers @sxfemilf @drawessa

@groupies-do-it-better @ilov3lanadelrayy @pretty-npeach @waitlalice @fanficslutxwpp @nerdypartytrashpsychic @littlered6307 @pettydonuts @babeyglo @delilah2853 @sweetoltitties-86 @luumunson @e0509

#eddie munson #eddie x reader #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson angst #Eddie Munson x GN!Reader #stranger things #eddie munson one shot

[akkpipitphattana]

i’m out of class and here is the extremely detailed “superache by conan gray is a pran parakul album through and through” post

movies - high school pran, especially while he was away at boarding school with the chorus. in his head his mom never sent him away! in his head him and pat could be together! also arguably ep9-10 pran bc he’s living in that fantasy of getting to have pat and then hit with the “we know it’s not what we’re doing, cause baby it ain’t like the movies” when their parents find out and everything falls apart

people watching - arguably more of a pat song, but definitely feels like pran while he was away at boarding school. i’m a big believer in whore parakul, so i think he definitely had flings but never anything serious. “i’ve never really been in love, not seriously” is him brushing off his high school crush on pat and insisting he’s over it. but he wants that! he wants to be in love! he’s a romantic!

disaster - this is SUCH a pran song fr. hes ALWAYS thinking about how things are gonna go wrong. what if things don’t work out? what if pat changes his mind? what if our parents find out? also “ashley thinks there’s something between you and i” is SO ink picking up on what’s going on between them like cmon

best friend - you could argue this is about wai or ink, but honestly? pat is his best friend and i don’t wanna hear it. they’re each other’s ride or die even if he doesn’t like admitting it in the beginning

astronomy - pran in ep6 fr. desperately trying to get pat to let what’s between them die so he can move on because he doesn’t think it’s possible and doesn’t wanna get hurt. “stop trying to keep us alive, you’re pointing at stars in the sky that already died” like!!!

yours - ep4 pran. this is so ep4 pran is HURTS. “i know i’m not the one you really love, but i guess that’s why i’ve never given up” and “all i’ve ever wanted was that look in your eyes, like you already know that i’m the love of your life” and “i’m somebody you use but never own” like!!! COME ON

jigsaw - another one that’s arguably more pat, but i feel like it can fit pran as well, especially if you consider it in relation to his mom like. “i’ll change every part of me until the puzzle pieces aren’t me at all” and “changing parts of myself to fit you, clear as shit i was not the issue” like!! it’s soooo pran and his mom

family line - this song is so both of them. but you know pran and his mommy issues, especially in the line “i’m so good at telling lies, that came from my mother’s side, told a million to survive” like!!!!

summer child - YOU DONT HAVE TO ACT LIKE ALL YOU FEEL IS MILD!!! YOURE LYING SUMMER CHILD!!!! do i even need to say anything. this is so pran i’m gonna cry

footnote - god. from high school to when they got together fr. like. “i’ll just take a footnote in your life, and you can take my body every line i would write for you, but a footnote will do” like!!! god it’s so pran, that feeling of wanting to be important to pat but thinking he’s not.

memories - once again pran in ep6. hes so desperately trying to keep pat at arms length but pat keeps coming back. “i wish that you would stay in my memories, but you show up today just to ruin things” AND “you steal all my clothes everything that i own and it makes me feel like dying” !!!!!! LIKE

the exit - pran when he transfers back. “feels like we had matching wounds but mines still black and bruised and yours is perfectly fine” and “you love her, it’s over, so you even doubt it on your lips when you say it (say it)?” and “you’ve already found someone to miss while i’m still standing at the exit” like!! he doesn’t act like it as much as pat but the distance effected him. and in his mind he doesn’t think pat even needs him especially when he has someone else (ink)

#thank you for coming to my tedtalk #my pran album fr #bad buddy #pran parakul #patpran #my analysis #mine

[conanssummerchild]

when you get this, put 5 songs you actually listen to, then publish. send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers. (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) ~

aw thank u for chosing me :DD i actually mostly only listen to taylor swift (unoriginal ik 😔) but i can dig a little deeper

ok ik i said id dig but timt is my fav ts song of all time so i had to start w/ it lol its very good and relatable also if u search long pond studios on yt taylor explains what its abt soso well i love her

this song is so mf good its ab like growing up and stuff idk how to explain it but listen to it trust me i love indie-ish music and literally anything by the aubreys scratches the itch (honourable mention to 'in the ground' also by the aubreys)

conan gray 😍 it took some hard thinking to pick a conan song but this is my fav on kid krow and it means so much to me idk i just love it. conan is the kinda music i listen to when im feeling melancholy (the aubreys too) cause i love taylor but i want smth more depressing sometimes lol (also yes this song is very byler sue me + the first verse i always think of madwheeler)

yes smalltown boy made the list 😔 i dont think this one needs much explanation i got introduced to it from mikes playlist (mikes bassment beats) and i relate bc he is so me

i really like the trees triology but trees II is my fav one (maybe j bc i grow attatched to songs ik how to play on guitar idk) this dudes style is kinda more like heavy idk how to explain it it just gets me feeling a certain kinda way (!! the first and second trees songs contain the f slur so if u dont wanna hear that dont listen !!)

anyway now yk i have questionable music taste but oh well. i love music i wouldve put a million other songs tbh anyway thx for the ask <33 :D

#taylor swift #this is me trying #folklore #long pond studio sessions #the aubreys #kato #in the ground #conan gray #the story #kid krow #honourable mentions pt 2: #generation why #sunset season #summer child #superache #srry i had to 😔 #bronski beat #smalltown boy #age of consent #byler #but not really #mike wheeler #trees #alex answers anon

[picklesonjupiter]

Music interview tag game (tagged by @siriusly-sapphic )

put your spotify on shuffle, and use the first 10 songs that come up to answer each of the 10 questions with lyrics!

1. first off, how would you describe yourself in one sentence?

Maybe I'm a fool

Ugly Heart - G.R.L.

2. what kind of [sun sign (Libra)] are you?

I wanna climb into your mind and turn on all the lights

Read all your secrets, see if you wonder about mine

We're just kids tryna' to understand the world

You're still a only a boy, you're scared of a good girl

Ready - Alessia Cara

3. you're visiting your favorite spot, what are you thinking about?

And so I wake in the morning

And I step outside

And I take a deep breath and I get real high

And I scream from the top of my lungs

What's going on?

What's up? - 4 Non Blondes

4. if your life was a movie, what do you think the first review would say about it?

Look inside my heart and find a perilous ravine

Carved within the beauty, the darkness in between

Standing in the balance of complete and incomplete

I identify the echo of what is and what will be

creature - half•alive

5. say you get a book deal, what are you titling your memoir?

Put all your faults to bed

You can be king again

King - Lauren Aquilina

6. what would you say about your best friends?

With simple songs I wanted more

Perfection is so quick to bore

You are more beautiful by far

Our flaws are who we really are

I Hear a Symphony- Cody Fry

7. think back to when you had everything all figured out in high school, what was your life motto as a teenager?

We are wild

We are like young volcanoes

Young Volcanoes - Fall Out Boy

8. describe your aesthetic now:

Feeling like your life's an illusion

And lately, you're secluded

Thinking you'll never get your chance

Feeling like you got no solution

It's only 'cause you're human

No control, it's out of your hands

It's OK Not To Be OK - Demi Lovato, Marshmello

9. what's a lyric that they'll quote in your euology?

My little love

I see your eyes widen like an ocean

When you look at me so full of my emotions

I'm finding it hard to be here, sincerely

I know you feel lost, it's my fault completely

My Little Love - Adele

10. and for our final question, say we believe in soulmates, what do you think their first impression of meeting you will be?

Why would you ever kiss me?

I'm not even half as pretty

You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester

But you like her better

I wish I were Heather

Heather - Conan Gray

Tagging @smilingformoney @snultiverse @maruke2003

[vamp-tsp]

hello, uh ik i hardly ever post but schools been hectic and kicking my ass so yeah... i've been feeling this... sense of creativity and i wanna try out something different, so im just gonna try writing out a story in a way which whatever comes to mind. part two will be posted maybe now or later, i dont rlly want critique rn so if u have any, i'd love to hear it in another day, thanks! -radio

--------------------------------------------------------------

the wall and the flower.

Chapter 1 - Unfortunate Encounter

Summer. People my age love this season, the season of sunscreen and beach towels, skate parks and holiday break... but me, Sidney (Sid) Wright hate it. And it just so happens on the summer I bump into Spencer Fisher.

I spend most of my summers at home. As one does, though usually reading. Reading whatever I brought with me to my parents beach house during the summer, usually something by Alice Oseman. Alice is my favorite author, she portrays teenagers in a way that is so accurate yet still so whimsically.

I decided to go out for some iced coffee at my usual cafe and I can read some more there. So, I go over to my wardrobe and throw on my usual outfit. A simple white t-shirt, a light blue short sleeved button up, and beige cargo shorts. I slip on my vans checkered slip-ons, grab my phone, headphones, and wallet from my bed side table then make my way downstairs and out the house.

Luckily the cafe is only a short walk away from my house so I sigh in relief and I can save some time bearing the hot breeze of summer as I walk. Then, a familiar voice calls.

"Oy!! Sidney!!"

God, I hate when people call me that. My parents are hippie activists who believe in names having no assigned gender, I don't really care that they are but why did they have to name their kid Sidney? It doesn't suit me one bit. So I tell people to call me Sid.

"Erm... hello??"

I responded, feathery and softly. In which he responded, inching closer to me by the minute in a familiar animated and crisp tone.

"Sidney!! mate, I haven't seen you all summer! where have you been?!"

And there he was. The guy I dreaded to see all summer, Spencer Fisher. With his fluffy black tuffs, teal or was it blue? heavily braced teeth, and droopy but yet still obviously cheerful hazel eyes. Spencer is not at all a bad person, he's actually quite well-liked at school and studious. But, he's just too overly energetic and peppy. He's nothing like me, people describe me as this quiet and mediocre guy that you might see in the hallways of school probably listening to some underground band from the 70's or whatever. But Spencer Fisher IS the Heather of Conan Gray's song Heather. He is everything I'm not. So I don't really get why he always tries to talk to me at school... and at this moment. I sigh heavily,

"Uh... at home..? where else would you expect me to be?"

"Ah I see! I don't know, at the library??" he chuckles to himself, "so where you headed, Siddy?"

Siddy. Siddy? God, can this guy get anymore annoying? I don't understand why he hangs out with me but I just have to endure it, I don't wanna seem rude.

"Oh... um... Coffee Roasterie."

His face light up, smiling widely and he cheers,

"No way... really!? I am too!! can I come along?"

Great. Just fantastic. You have got to be joking me, I just wanted to get my latte and finish this chapter of Radio Silence by Alice Oseman and I can enjoy the rest of my afternoon.

"Okay, not like I have a choice do I?"

He snickers, "Nope! so, what you up to these days mate?"

He's one of those lads at school where he calls everyone mate, plays some type of sport, and all the girls and guys are obsessed with him.

"I... uh..."

I don't know what to answer. What if he calls me some sort of loser for just being at home all summer? I mean he never has but you'll never know from someone like Spencer. He waits patiently as I finally answer,

"You know... just some reading... a bit of blogging... and stuff... and... yeah."

There was a pause. It lasted a bit too long for my liking but the silence was quickly filled when he adds,

"Ah! I see, gosh I'm jealous! you have it so laid-back. Though, we all have our own private hobbies don't we? Personally for me, I've been having training. Swimming! I mean..."

Swimming? I have never heard of him being interested in swimming but before I could ask, we arrived at the cafe. We walked in and went over to the line as he continues,

"Yeah I swim back stroke, I usually have land training when I'm not in the water on the weekends, week days after school is usually swim practice. I'll admit, it gives the worse body aches and chlorine scented hair but pretty fun to be honest."

He talks a lot. Spencer Fisher is known for his chatterbox, he's also known for his lisp. He tends to bite his tongue when he pronounces the letter s because of his braces. I've heard him talk about how he hated his braces and to be honest, I wasn't sure whether to agree with him or not but nonetheless he's always smiling.

"Oh I see, that's pretty cool actually, wouldn't expect that from you."

"You're a man of few words huh, sid? gives me the urge to tell you a secret but I'm not sure whether I should or not."

Is he saying I don't have any friends to tell them too or is he implying I'm too quiet or timid to tell anyone? because either way, I don't like it.

"Well... it's on you, I don't... really have anyone to tell it to."

"Seriously?! well here goes!"

He leans in close to my ear, his hot breath hitting the tip of my ear and he puts his hand over to my ear to direct his voice to my ear as he says,

"Actually, I'm really into-"

But before he could get a word in that actually made context, the cashier clears her throat implying for us to order. Interrupting us, thank god. But part of me wonders... what is he into? He flinches and darts his eyes towards her direction as he puts his hand down and says,

"Oh! sorry, I'll have an iced caramel macchiato! and you, sid?"

"Just an Iced chai latte please."

The cashier nods, saying

"Okay, that will be 9.99 please."

Spencer nods and he grabs his wallet from his pockets as I do too, but before I could pay for mine he already handed it to the cashier as he says clearly,

"Sid. We'll get going now, thanks."

Which catches me by surprise since he used my name for both of our drinks. But, before I could get a word in He shoots a look at me saying,

"Come on, let's not hold up the line! let's go find a table!"

And just like that, I found myself hanging out with Spencer Fisher at my usual cafe on a saturday summer afternoon. I thought to myself, what could possibly go wrong?

- TBC -

[kurtcobainsgreencardigan]

PAU I NEED YOUR OPINIONS ON THE SINGLES FROM FOUND HEAVEN LIKE NOW!

OMG OMG OMG OKAY so i feel so betrayed rn cause he was WHOLE ASS RELATIONSHIP AND DIDNT SAY ANYTHING so now these songs are real things that happened!!!!! which means i can no longer say if conan is delulu so am i which is SO mean of him anyways i would die for him

1.- Alley Rose: AHHHHHHH i love it so much its giving yours but like a bit more mature which is JHSFG VUSFHBNUDSFGHBN and it's my sister's favorite which i find insane cause how can she choose?!?!?!

2.- Lonely Dancers: i just really love thw contrast in his vocals like ksjhjdfasdhf and the LYRICS like its not deep or anything except that it is and sonically like????? conan????? are you a depeche mode copycat synth wave rider one hit wonder from 1984 or????

3.- Never Ending Song: see above. Also this was such a shock cause i dont remember if it was the first single but it was definitely our first time hearing this sound from him which i love SO MUCH and oijbfjsdnbgi uhdb

4.- Winner: I won't say anything cause I'll cry if I do.

5.- Killing Me: I WANNA DIE BUT YOU KEEP ME ALIVE YOU'RE KILLING ME YOU'RE KILLING ME.

I'd say this was gonna be my album EXCEPT THAT I CAN'T RELATE CAUSE IT'S NOT ALL MADE UP THIS TIME, but don't worry Conan, I'm not a conehead for no reason ill find a way to be delulu about it. Also this is so Black brothers coded but we dont talk about that.

In conclusion, FUCK LONDON.

What do YOU think about it??!?!?!

#ANDI #YOU HAD TO KNOW WHAT THIS QUESTION WAS GONNA DO #AND I HELD MYSELF BACK A LITTLE CAUSE I DIDNT WANNA MAKE IT THAT LONG BUT WELL #ANYWAYS

[jinx-you-owe-me]

OF COURSE I want to hear about the kyl band au. Tell me more about it i am Intrigued

meg i love you <3

(this ask is in reference to this post btw)

it started about a week ago, with me going „what if yara and lucia and kat had a band“ (i’ve talked about them a bit under #my characters)

lucia plays bass. a good instrument for yara would be the drums, because she can move her hands and feet the whole time. and kat has the best singing voice out of them all, so they do the vocals. her voice is clear, but low. think these songs, the lower notes.

kat also plays a bit of acoustic guitar. so that’s how you got your band! :)

and then i started thinking about what songs they would play and i made a playlist of songs they would cover. 

that includes a lot of italian måneskin songs, cause lucia likes them. she would do the vocals in that case, cause kat doesn’t speak italian that well.

(lucia is half italian, she was raised bilingual with german and spanish bc her father is from venezuela and it was important to him. lucias mom is less connected to her heritage, but she still speaks the language and lucia learns it when she’s a bit older.)

the playlist also has a lot of boygenius songs. that’s closest to what KYL would sound like. bass and guitar and drums + a very clear singing voice. (i don’t know how to describe music.) they have kind of an acoustic sound.

for some covers, they would need multiple guitars though, and/or a piano. i kept thinking that lucia should play electric guitar, but i didn’t wanna switch it for the bass cause there’s a reason for her playing bass (she had a crush on vic). and so i said „we’ll maybe she learns it later. bass and guitar aren’t that different right“ (i do not know how to play either of those instruments). 

and for the piano, i made up a new character. they’re a friend of yara, they met at a computer club (yara has new hobbies all the time.). their name starts with a T, i haven’t found one yet. he’s vietnamese and nonbinary and has green hair. and she’s nonverbal and uses sign language or sometimes a text to speech converter. they’re not really part of the band, they don’t wanna be. some fans make up elaborate conspiracy theories on who the mysterious pianist that never appears could be though

oh yeah, and somewhere along this turned from an amateur teenage band playing covers of their favourite songs into an actual band with fans and live shows and everything. lol

i picture them a few years older, in their early twenties. (lucia would be 22, yara 21 and kat 22) they all have new hairstyles now. (i wanna do bweirdOCtober, so i’ll probably post some drawings then)

robin is also there, but she’s not part of the band. her mom made her learn the flute when she was little, and so she hates it with a burning passion. and her singing voice is kinda like this (the outfit is lucia vibes)

no, robin is lucia’s secret girlfriend. they started dating at like 17 and break up at around 23/24? and lucia sings these songs about it

yeah, basically they’re a super queer indie band :)

lucia is sapphic, yara is trans, and kat is genderqueer & aroace

they do a cover of „crush culture“ by conan gray and „never been in love“ by will jay about it

and i imagine it like. the opening chords of „crush culture“ start and the crowd goes WILD. and kat sings it with an aromantic flag like musicians sometimes do

yeah. basically i either made up another band au or i finally found my characters story (i’m leaning towards the latter cause it’s more interesting)

i can’t link the playlist, cause it’s private, but i can tell you some songs from it if you want

#my characters #KYL #kyl is the band name btw. at first i just used it as a placeholder but then i decided it stands for Kill Your Landlord. cause it’s funny #or wait no #Kill Your Loneliness #that’s better #i just thought it was funny to imagine three teenagers being interviewed like „oh what does kyl stand for??“ #and kat is like: „kill your landlord“ 😊💖🌸 #ask #mine