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aplpaca · 1 year

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thinking about how I've seen OCD get talked about now, but haven't really seen many posts that actually explain what it is. And like, obviously people shouldn't get all their info about mental conditions from posts, but u can't deny that internet communities and stuff play a major role in people recognizing and putting names to their own experiences.

But like since the general public has like absolutely no idea of what OCD actually is (no thanks to popular media), and a lot of things I see talking about intrusive thoughts don't mention OCD (either bc they originated in OCD circles or bc intrusive thoughts aren't Exclusive to OCD or for some other reason), there should prob be more explanation put out on what OCD actually consists of.

Which is kinda hard in some ways, bc there are so many ways OCD can present in terms of what "themes" a person experiences, so someone talking about what their themes are might not ring a bell with someone who experiences different ones. But like, the core thing with OCD isn't the presence of certain themes, it's a specific pattern of spiraling thoughts and reactions.

Like. OCD is a mental condition/illness where people experience stressful, unwanted, repetitive thoughts. These are intrusive thoughts are what make up the "obsessions" part of the disorder. In response to these intrusive thoughts, a lot of people will perform certain actions or think certain things in an attempt to neutralize or disprove the threat they represent. These are the "compulsions" part of the condition.

For a more "traditional" example, someone experiencing intrusive thoughts that they might catch a communicable disease may obsessively wash their hands or google their symptoms to try to lessen the anxiety. While someone who is worried they might hurt someone (even though they very much do not want to hurt someone) may avoid being near sharp objects or may avoid the people they're afraid of hurting.

One of the issues with OCD is that performing the compulsions provides short term relief, but in the long term it only strengthens the stress caused by the intrusive thoughts, thus furthering the thought spiral and actively making it worse, to the point where, depending on your themes, you may be (almost) convinced that your intrusive thoughts represent the truth or the inevitable or something permanent.

Intrusive thought themes cam be literally anything, but some of the common ones are stuff like

Questioning your sexuality, gender, etc (what if I'm actually straight/gay/bi/trans/cis/etc?)

Being worried about losing control and hurting yourself or others physically, sexually, emotionally, basically any way (what if I want to kill someone? What if I'm a pedophile? What if I'm an abuser? What if I want to stab myself? Etc)

Fear of becoming or being sick

Worrying something bad will happen to you or people you care about

Worrying about your spiritual beliefs or lack thereof (what if I'm actually Christian? What if I'm actually atheist? What if i don't believe in the faith i ascribe to? Etc)

Worrying about relationship status (what if I don't actually love them? What if they're not "the one"? What if they're cheating? What if *I'm* cheating? Etc)

What if I'm a bad person?

Fear of losing things

Fear of things not feeling right (this is often be related to other themes via magical thinking. ex: if I don't have my things organized Just Right then something bad will happen)

Fear of unreality

Compulsions vary by theme a lot obviously, but some common ones include

Hand washing

Organizing things until they Feel Right

Checking and double checking and triple checking to make sure you did something correctly

Obsessively reviewing your memories to disprove a thoughtor make sure you don't believe something

Arguing against the thoughts in an attempt to disprove them

Testing your mental reactions to a thought or to certain kinds of content, to show yourself you don't actually believe or feel something

Obsessively googling symptoms, testimonies, things related to your thoughts

Obsessive prayer

Repeating phrases, mantras, affirmations, etc in an attempt to make thoughts go away

Avoiding things and situations that set off your intrusive thoughts

Repeatedly asking for reassurance from others ("I'm not being xyz, right?")

But yeah this obviously isn't exhaustive but, just, if this kind of thing sounds familiar, you should probably do some research on OCD, bc while intrusive thoughts can occur with other conditions, the intrusive thought-compulsion spiral is the core of OCD and isn't really a subaspect of depression/anxiety/ptsd/etc. and the treatment and management of OCD can look different from other stuff, so its a good thing to look into.

(Also it's important to keep in mind, esp if you're someone that doesn't have it, that someone's intrusive thoughts Are Not "secret desires" or "repressed urges" or anything the person even remotely wants to act on. Someone having harm-related intrusive thoughts is not at risk of actually acting on them, no matter how worried they are of doing so.)

Anyway this was a long post and I don't have a neat way to wrap it up and also I accidentally added a poll and now can't get rid of it so here's free poll. I'm running on nyquil and a small amount of straight gin (which works very well at numbing a sore throat) rn gnite

#ocd #actuallyocd #actually ocd #intrusive thoughts #my hand is fuckin stiff from typing this all out on my phone rip

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luveline · 5 months

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hi bae, just wondering if you could write something like roommate!marauders and reader with anxiety where everytime one of them goes out she gets really worried that’s somethings gonna happen to them and waits up for them and just feels like a burden when she calls to make sure they’re alright and just general anxiety things and them being so sweet about it

love u

love u too♡

cw death related anxiety

“Hey, Remus?” you ask tentatively.

Your housemate lays across the sofa with his dinner half eaten on the coffee table and a book tented on his chest. He's ignoring both in favour of the television, a rerun of Family Fortunes turning the sofa cushions and his pale skin a light blue.

He drags his blue-tinged gaze from the subtitles to your frowning. “What's wrong?” he asks. You're surprised he heard you over the sound of Sirius’ stereo echoing down the stairs.

“Where did James say he was going?”

“I think he said he'd be at the gym for an hour now he's not in work. Want me to call him?”

“Why would you call him?” you ask, instead of saying yes, please, like you want to.

“You're worrying again.”

They know how you are. It doesn't mean they have to understand —it isn't logical to think James is hurt because he hasn't been home today yet, and none of them are required to humour you in your worry, but they always do.

You feel sick as he takes his phone from his pocket. You've convinced yourself that James is dead, that his car curled around a bend too quickly on the drive in the rain, or that something happened at the gym, or that he never made it there at all, had a fit in the car park outside of work. Even as you think it, you know it's implausible, unlikely, just a repetitive negative anxiety worming its way into your head, but you can't make it stop.

James doesn't answer the first time, which doesn't help, and then when he does answer the second time you're waiting for bad news. Remus smiles as he talks. “Hello? Jamie?”

James doesn't need speak phone to be heard. “Remus! I'm at the gym, what's happening?”

Remus wrinkles his nose. “What's happening? Since when do you say that?”

“What's up?” James corrects. “I'm on my way out of the gym, can you talk? You can keep me company while I drive.”

Remus holds out the phone to you.

“Remus?” James asks into the room. You take the phone before he can hang up, and decide to be honest, but the words get stuck like toffee between your teeth. “Hello?”

“Hey,” you say, sending Remus a grateful look. He moves over to make room on settee for you, and his arm wraps familiarly around your shoulders as you settle in. He turns his attention back to his show.

“Oh my god hey, angel. Remus okay?”

“I was making him ring you, sorry. I thought… you know what I'm like. It's getting late and you aren't home, and I know I don't have the right to pester you about where you are.”

“Yeah you do,” James says, his voice louder, like his mouth is very close to the microphone. “Course you do. I'd worry too if you weren't home yet.”

“I do this all the time, though.”

Just last week he and Sirius were out late and you'd panicked that they'd both been hurt. You stayed up until almost one in the morning waiting for them to get home from a music shop in the city, each minute after eleven like a shot of ice water in your veins. Sirius jumped when he saw you waiting in the living room, but then he'd given you a hug and rubbed at your shoulders roughly. You didn't wait up for us, did you?

“It's worse lately, yeah?” James asks. You hum non-committal, and Remus gives you a squeeze in typical Remus fashion. You hadn't even realised he was listening, but his support makes this easier. “You're worrying about us more.”

“Yeah,” you say. “I don't know why. And it sucks because I know it's making me a lot to deal with.”

“I would one thousand percent prefer it if you rang me then sat there worrying. That would make me feel better. And Remus and Sirius feel the same way, okay? We could all stand to ring each other a bit more anyways.”

You rub your nose into your hand. “Sorry,” you mumble.

“There's no need to be. I love you, ‘n I just want you to be happy. If a phone call can make that happen then why shouldn't you do it? And it's not like they're a big imposition, I like talking to you. We all do.”

James is home from the gym what could only be ten minutes later, and he leans over the back of the settee to kiss your forehead chasely. “Here we are, all safe and well.”

“You haven't seen Sirius yet,” Remus points out.

“I can bloody well hear him. What is he listening to? Is that U2?” James shakes his head in disgust. “I can see why you were so worried I wasn't coming home. Let me go put a stop to that immediately.”

#the marauders #marauders #poly marauders #poly!marauders #poly marauders x reader #poly!marauders x reader #remus lupin x reader #james potter x reader #remus lupin fanfiction #james potter fanfiction #remus lupin fic #james potter fic #the marauders x reader #the marauders x fem!reader #remus lupin #sirius black #james potter #sirius black x reader implied is

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youve-been-etho-d · 2 years

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Well hey I guess if anything we get reminders that we went through shit that warranted us being a system.

#House is loud tonight and it's really pissing me off #Growing up around yelling is still traumatic #And while we don't need a situation that's less than good to remain valid that yelling has not gotten less traumatic #When hearing certain noises causes us anxiety and anticipation of yelling followed by the urge to cry #Yeah that's a pretty damn good indication that we have been traumatized by such things #Would love to stop getting reminders though <3 Figured we could be at the point where we can stop worrying about validity <3 #Not judging the others with this I'm saying that even though they've had moments like that they're getting there #I am however really annoyed that we still have to deal with yelling #I don't have the same responses to things as the others but that urge to cry in response to yelling is still there #Just not as strong #you've been txt.tho'd #// vent #// fam issues #Anything relating to the adult or sibling or just general house things in vents goes under fam issues #Oh and one of the things making the others feel less valid was worrying about the repetitive thing for trauma #They focused on things that did happen but not like a million times #Yeah you guys forgot that growing up around adults yelling is very much traumatic and repetitive #Not that the rest wasn't ''bad enough''#(/lh)

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rogueddie · 1 year

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Steve realizes that he's been spending too much time with the kids families when he gets home, realizing that he'd bought supplies for knitting. It's something that Claudia and, recently, Joyce have been getting into. They would rope Steve into joining them whenever he time there.

But it's nice. He likes knitting. He likes the repetitively and how easy it is to simply... stop. Stop worrying, stop pacing, stop thinking. Stop being so afraid.

It's hard to be scared of beasts in the walls when he looks down and finds a badly knitted sock in his lap. It looks too silly.

The longer he spends on it though, the better he gets. It's not long until he's knitting things nice enough that he feels confident enough to wear them outside the house. And no one bats an eye.

Robin even steals some of his scarves- until she learns that he knit them and then she starts making demands. Which he's happy to fulfil. Seeing her light up when he hands her the scarf and gloves, in the exactly color and pattern she'd asked for, is more than worth it.

That Christmas, his new knitting skills save the day. He had to set himself a very strict budget for the presents. He's trying to save as much as he can, with Robin and Eddie, so they can move into a little house they have their eyes on.

He blows the entire budget on the kids.

So, with the help of Robin, he tries to think of the best things to knit for the adults.

Robin asks him to make them matching scarves and gloves. She knows that Nancy, Jonathan and Argyle will want matching things too, which solves what to get them. As well as Joyce and Hopper- though, Steve isn't sure how those will go down.

The other parents are easy. He's spoken to them, been in their homes enough, to know the patterns and colors they favor.

By the time he finishes knitting everyone their things... he's still not sure what to knit for Eddie. All he has is the black yarn he got and some of the maroon and dark green left over from the other projects.

"He'll be happy you got him anything at all," Robin teases. "You know that. You just want it to be perfect because-"

"He's my friend! Ok? I just want to get him something nice for Christmas."

"And that's all there is to it?"

"Yes!"

"Mhm," Robin smirks, slowly walking backwards towards the door, raising an eyebrow at him. "I totally believe you."

Even though Robin hadn't been any help with thinking of any good ideas, he's sure that he's only thinking of worse ones without her. It doesn't help that, the longer he sits and tries to think, the more ideas they came up with together he forgets.

In the end, he settles for a gothic version of a Christmas sweater. He tries to make it as detailed as he can- knitting in snowflakes and zig zags, the hellfire devil head instead of a reindeer and little Christmas trees along the bottom hem.

He shoves it into the little Christmas bag he got for it, taping the top shut before he can doubt himself. He tucks it away, pointedly avoiding so much as glancing at it.

It's a relief when, a few days later, Christmas comes around.

Most of them bounce between the Wheelers and the Byers homes. The kids all spend most of the day at the Wheelers, gathering all their presents with them. Dustin helps Steve bring the presents from him, Robin and Claudia inside.

He stops at the Byers, where most of the adults are gathered. Joyce and Nancy both try to convince him to change his mind, to stay for dinner, as he drops their presents off. But, as he reminds them, he promised Robin he'd spend Christmas dinner with her.

She's sat on the trailer steps with Eddie when Steve pulls up.

"You're late!" Eddie yells as Steve opens the trunk, grabbing the last three presents. "Have you no consideration for the peasants?!"

"Shut up," Steve says, rolling his eyes. He gently kicks him. "Move."

Eddie throws himself off the steps, onto the floor. "Ah! Rob, he's bullying me!"

"Good." Robin stands up, opening the door and waving Steve inside. She raises an eyebrow at Eddie. "Get up, I'm hungry."

"Fine!" Eddie says, scrambling to his feet. "You're all so mean to me."

Wayne clears his throat. He's stood by the kitchen, leaning with his arms crossed, watching them with an amused grin. "You kids ready to eat now or do you want to do presents first?"

"Food," they all say in sync.

The dinner is amazing, something Steve and Robin both keep telling Wayne. Whenever the conversation pauses, they have a little kick-fight on who gets to speak up that time.

Wayne jokingly asks Eddie why he's never so complimentary about his cooking, which earns him an eye roll.

"You don't need the ego boost, old man."

Wayne gets him in a loose headlock when he stands up, ruffling his hair, before quickly grabbing the plates that Steve tries to collect.

"No, no, no. You kids get started opening your presents, I've got these."

Robin drags him along, into the living room, by the collar of his polo when he tries to offer help. Eddie helps, grabbing his forearm. Steve grumbles the whole time, folding his arms when they push him down, onto the sofa.

"Ladies first," Eddie throws a present at Robin, nearly hitting her in the face. He grins widely when she flips him off.

He insists that, once Robin opens all of her presents, Steve has to open his. Then Wayne. And, once they've all opened theirs, Eddie claps his hands together at the remaining presents.

"Perfect. All for me." He grins, grabbing Steves first. He almost rips the bag with how hard he pulls at the tape.

"We have scissors," Robin waves them at him.

He bats them away, digging the sweater out of the bag. "Oooh, gothic Christmas, very-" he stops when he turns it over, staring at the front for a moment. "Is... is this, like, custom made?"

"Yeah, sort of," Steve says, shrugging. He offers a smile when Eddie looks up at him, looking almost... awed.

"He made it himself," Robin says. "He's gotten into knitting."

"You knit this? Yourself? Stevie, what the hell! This is amazing!" He quickly shrugs off his jacket so he can put the sweater on. "I'm never taking this off. Fuck, I could kiss you."

"Save it for the bedroom," Wayne quickly says, holding a hand up. "Some of us here don't want to see all that PDA."

Robin snickers. "Yeah, have some decency for the rest of us."

"Ha ha," Eddie deadpans. "You're both hilarious."

"Seriously though, son," Wayne puts a hand on his shoulder. "You know I'll support and love you no matter what, but I'd hate to see you and a girl getting like that just as much."

"What?" Eddie frowns, confused. "What are you talking about?"

Wayne glances between him and Steve. "You and your boy."

"Holy shit," Robin whispers. "I knew it wasn't just me."

"I'm, uh..." Steve eventually speaks up, once it's clear that Eddie isn't going to say anything, simply continuing to gape at Wayne. "I'm not his boy."

"What?" Wayne turns to Eddie with narrowed eyes. "You ain't asked him out yet? How many dates have you been on and you still ain't-"

"We're not dating," Eddie hisses. "I've told you this, like, seventy times!"

"This is amazing," Robin whispers, eyes darting between the two as they continue arguing back and forth. "Stevie, you owe me money."

Steve groans, slouching as low as he can, covering his red face with both hands.

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #steddie #steddie fic #ficlet #christma22k

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whiskersz · 3 months

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Ok yay someone who writes for husk!

So could you(if you don't wanna that's fine)

Do an x reader for husk where the reader works at the bar with him

I'm so new to the fandom, people don't write for him? Don't worry, I'm here to save the day!

This is kind of a ficlet, I could write a sequel if anyone is interested, left it somewhat open ended.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Actions speak louder

Give a beer glass a scrub, rinse, pass it to Husk so he can dry it up and then repeat; check the counter for stray stains, then wipe it down with a cloth dampened with dish soap and warm water in case there’s any; mix the occasional cocktail, wishing you’d be the one downing it on some days.

This is how most of your time is spent at the Hotel, working behind the counter of the bar with grumpy Husk, filling your days with repetitive tasks you were used to even before ending up in Hell. You’re comfortable here, some might even say it’s your own element.

You remember what it was like during your life, working at the bar, and the only word worthy of describing the experience would be ‘boring’. Chaotic on some particular days, yes, but it was mostly dull as your co-workers were a bit too accustomed to leaving all the hard work to you.

At the Hotel though, you find it almost therapeutic. Not too many residents, and you get along with the few that are there, plus it means no constant drink making nor cleaning; although the personality of your only co-worker is what you find most pleasing about this job.

There’s no use for useless small talk between the two of you, you’ve grown accustomed to each other enough that silence is well accepted during most of the day, and especially at night. It’s not rare for both of you to stay up late, anxiously waiting for the return of one of the other residents of the building, Angel Dust.

There’s no hiding that he struggles a lot, and you and Husk can do nothing but be there for him, unfortunately.

But once even he’s off to bed, you can finally give the bar one last quick clean and close it up together. And so again, give Angel’s glass a scrub, rinse, and then pass it to Husk so he can dry it up and put it away; he takes up the task of checking for stains on the counter and cleaning them up, telling you to hurry up and go to sleep.

You refuse, and say you need to tidy up the glasses one last time, something looks out of order.

It’s not true though, but you can’t simply say you’re waiting for him, surely that would make things between you a little awkward.

Which is why you’re surprised when you feel a light pressure on your back; Husk is shorter than you, shorter than most at the Hotel actually, and there seems to be nobody else around, so the only possible explanation for the pressure you’re feeling in the middle of your back is, well, your co-worker.

Relaxing into his touch you let out a soft sigh;

“Turning into a softie?” you say it mostly to cover up your shyness, glad he’s facing your back so he’s unable to see the tint of your cheeks.

“Shut up.” He retorts, voice low and tired.

The dim lights of the bar are soon after turned off, and a slow, drowsy kiss is shared on the top of the stairs leading to the various rooms of the Hotel. You and Husk depart for the night, both excited to scrub, rinse and repeat with each other tomorrow, though with newfound unanswered questions this time.

#husk x reader #husker x reader #hazbin x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #x reader #husk hazbin hotel #husker hazbin hotel

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kairiscorner · 8 months

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no thoughts just miguel turning into a cat. like a literal cat bc of sum villain did sumn to him on a mission and we have to babysit him. him as a cat would be so grumpy and would hiss if anyone touched him but ofc miguel o’purra has a soft spot for us ( • ̀ω•́ )✧ he’d be the purrfect cat me thinks plus bonus points bc him as a cat is 100% extra clingy and demands to be perched on your lap or shoulder at all times <3

AWWWWWW ngl this is reminding me of the tropes in cartoons i used to watch as a kid, where like, the only way for a stubborn character to get with the person they secretly like is through being an animal the character doesn't realize that's actually them (this sounds so fucking confusing i'm sorry) but yeah, I WANNA DO THAT FOR THIS HEUHEUHUEHUE

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 – miguel o'purra and you.

miguel o'purra is a very angry kitty, one that loves to hiss, scratch, and bite—though, when you're rubbing that sweet spot on his stomach all slowly and gently... he lives up to his name and quits being grumpy for a bit and just purrs as you rub that spot on him.

miguel o'purra is a bratty kitty, he hates not getting what he wants—despite hearing his own, normal voice in his own head, he hates it when lyla nor anyone else at the spider society can understand his angry purrs of frustration when he's asking for updates on anomalies or for a leg (or paw) up to get something because... he's such a small little kitten now.

miguel o'purra refuses help, he kicked ben reilly in the face when the blonde guy picked him up and cooed to him, and he hissed at jess when she baby talked the cute little thing. he definitely scratched peter b multiple times when the stubborn brunette tried getting the cat to warm up to him, but no, he was a very grumpy kitten that didn't want anyone to do things for him.

miguel o'purra hates everyone at HQ, he can finally be vocal about it through his incessant hissing, scratching, biting, kicking, and... littering on others' desks as revenge for taking your attention away from him while he was still human. it's petty, sure, and he did debate with himself whether or not to do this because it is pretty disgusting—but he can't help but want you to tend to him, your touch is the nicest and softest to him, why can't he be in your arms for the whole day while he's like this? without having to worry what you think of him the next day because he's just a cute, helpless, furious little furball that just so happens to prefer you over everyone else.

miguel o'purra is not appeciative of the fact you kindly named him 'mr. furball', he glares at you every time you call for him like that. he finds it a little degrading, too, because he still has his human consciousness intact; he's just in the body of a cat. though, he does like how your eyes light up and how your smile widens whenever he walks over to you and nuzzles up by your legs whenever you call for him, it warms his little heart, though he isn't sure why.

miguel o'purra knows he should be hatching up a plan to break this stupid spell that has technically incapacitated him in this feline form, but... he can finally have a day of rest since you insist on giving this cute kitty you found the most proper grooming and makeover fit for royalty, royal cats, that was.

miguel o'purra doesn't mind how your hands are all over his furry little body as your brush his hair, trim his long claws, how you boop his little paw pads that make him purr lowly whenever you touch the sensitive pads on his paws—and when you rub in between his ears all gently, just stroking his head all hypnotically and repetitively... he smiles a little, and it warms your heart so, so much.

miguel o'purra despises baths, however—he has such killer instincts whenever you're about to put him in the bath full of water, his archnemesis. he literally spreads all his legs out and clings on to the walls of the bathtub to stop you from putting him in the bath, aggressively hissing in resistance.

miguel o'purra loves being rewarded for such good behavior. he loves being stroked on his back and on his head, on those sweet spots he loves being touched on so, so much. he's relaxed like this, being on your lap while you work and try finding miguel, not knowing he was right here on your lap as 'mr. furball', but you didn't need to know that.

miguel o'purra accidentally brushes his little fuzzy paws over your thighs, tickling you. he gets all surprised and arches his back, jolting up, realizing he touched you by accident. you giggle and ask 'mr. furball' why he's so on edge and compliment his fuzzy little paws, with him purring in a questioning tone if you meant what you said. you reassure him and tell him your lap was basically his second home; he feels like he could just live like this forever, but he resists that notion and treads lightly when it came to you and your irresistibly beautiful lap.

miguel o'purra doesn't want to leave your side; he's always perched on your lap and will hiss at and swing his claws at anyone who dares take you away from him. you tell him you aren't going anywhere, but he doesn't buy it—he wants to go with you and protect you, even as a cat; he has claws for a reason, and he's unafraid to use them now, especially as a cute, fuzzy little clingy furball that loves you dearly.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @hearts4gabri @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok @fictarian @yuridopted0 @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @fable-library @ophanimgold @smokeywhalee @capnshtfce

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roses-for-rosalyn · 11 months

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what if abby's father and the reader's father were friends and the like to hangout and play tennis a lot ; one day jerry anderson tries to convince his daughter to play a game with him, his friend and his daughter (reader) who has just returned home after two years of travelling ;

both girls accept their father's invitation! then the big day arrives and abby finds herself in front of reader in her pretty tennis set (and maybe something could happen in the locker room, after a heated match 👀)

I'm baaaack!

Sorry this took me so incredibly long it's been a weird few weeks. I hope I did your idea justice, she's a long one.

word count: 3.3k

content warnings: enemies to lovers, mean, competitive Abby, thigh riding, fem! reader, oral (r! receiving), fingering (r! receiving), overstimulation, dirty talk, modern au where Abby's dad isn't dead obvi, no use of y/n

--------------------------------------------------------

You were sitting at your kitchen counter sipping on a glass of ice water and gazing out the window, watching the summer breeze rattle the trees. It had been a few weeks since you’d gotten back from Europe, but ice still felt like a luxury. Europe was so beautiful and you wouldn’t trade it for anything, but after a few years you started to yearn for air conditioning, cold water and disgusting greasy fried food. Your first bite of a McChicken back in the states was orgasmic.

You also missed your family, your dad would call you every other day and talk about his day in incredible detail. He joined a country club and got into tennis while you were gone, he even made a few friends. You were especially happy about that because you were worried about him getting lonely while you were gone. You didn’t want him rotting in an empty house while you went out and traveled the world. Even though your dad’s days were mundane and repetitive you just liked listening to him talk. His voice was the only thing that could dull the feeling of homesickness.

The front door opening pulls you out of your thoughts. Your dad walks in clearly having just got back from the country club, he was dressed head to toe in tennis gear including a visor. You can’t help but giggle at how stupid and preppy he looks. You didn’t exactly grow up going to country clubs, and dressing in brand name clothes. Luckily your dad had gotten a new job so he could splurge on himself. It made you happy to watch him treat himself for the first time in his life.

“What? Why are you laughing at me?” He looks up and down checking his clothes for stains or any wardrobe malfunctions.

“Nothing, you just look a little funny dressed in your tennis uniform. Not exactly used to you in country club attire.” You smile as he acts mock offended.

“I think it suits me, thank you very much.” He dramatically marches over to the fridge to fill up his water bottle. He’s really not gonna let go of this.

“You’re right, you were born to wear exclusively Vineyard Vines and sip wine on the balcony of your third beach house.” You say with a smirk.

“Sounds pretty nice to me.” He smiles and leans on the counter across from you.

He hesitates before saying “I’ve been meaning to invite you to play with me and Jerry, I think you’d have fun, it’ll be like the good old days on your high school tennis team. You’d probably deeply humble both of us.” Jerry was your dad’s best friend right now, one of the first people that welcomed him into the country club.

“Dad, I haven’t played tennis in three years I don’t kn-”

“Jerry said he’d bring his daughter too. She also used to play a lot of sports in high school. We could do father daughter teams or daughters vs fathers. It’ll be fun.” He sounds so excited, you would feel way too guilty turning him down at this point.

“Ok, ok. Have you met his daughter? Is she like.. Nice?” You didn’t want to have to fake getting along with her for your dad’s sake, if you were being honest you would probably end up doing that anyway. Your dad wasn’t exactly good at finding you friends.

“Yes, she’s incredibly nice, and respectful. She’s a few years older than you, about 25 I think, and she works for a construction company.” He pauses trying to recollect the little information he knows about his friend’s daughter. “She’s so strong I’m pretty sure she could pick me up bridal style.” Your dad laughs at his own joke, but now you are a little nervous. It’s starting to sink in that your dad essentially set up a playdate for you with an incredibly buff woman. You just hope you don’t end up noticeably ogling at her, maybe you’ll get lucky and she’ll be incredibly mean.

You woke up bright and early the next morning, your dad bribed you with a fancy breakfast before the match. The food was delicious, but you couldn’t stop your nervous movements, constantly tapping your fingers or feet. Your dad noticed and reassured you there was no reason to be nervous, and that there’s no pressure. To be honest your nerves weren’t completely because you were out of practice. Meeting new people always made you anxious, especially when it was arranged like this. There was an unspoken expectation for everyone to get along and enjoy themselves and you liked to keep your expectations low.

Before you knew it you and your dad were walking to the tennis courts. Your dad noticed you were starting to get all up in your head.

“Hey, loosen up kiddo this will be fun, if it’s not you let me know and we can leave. I’ll just tell them I’m not feeling well and we can get ice cream. Jerry will understand.” He messes with your hair a bit and you feel mildly relieved.

Once you get to the tennis court all of the relief you felt drained from your body, immediately replaced with pure anxiety. As you walk onto the smooth green court you see a middle aged brunette man, no doubt that was Jerry, and a tall strong blonde standing next to him. She towered over him, every muscle chiseled to perfection by what must have been some higher power. As you got closer you could see her biceps straining against her blue t-shirt, her thighs were barely visible, but from what you could see they were just as muscular as her arms. You were beginning to ogle when you’re snapped out of it from the sound of your dad greeting Jerry. Your dad shakes hands with Jerry and Abby and you begin to do the same. Abby’s blue eyes pierced right through you, a neutral expression adorning her face. She was incredibly intimidating considering she could clearly snap you in two. You shake Jerry’s hand “I’ve heard so much about you, hope you still remember your stuff from high school. Your dad and I have gotten pretty good.”

You smile and reply “It’s been a while, but I’m sure I’ll warm up in no time!” You liked to stay humble, but honestly you were pretty good at tennis. You had won a lot of games and you were one of the best on the team. You didn’t talk about it much though because you were self aware enough to know literally no one cares about tennis. You were also as a result extremely competitive so you were hoping you would be able to tone it down in order to not scare your dad’s friend away.

You move to shake Abby’s hand “I’m Abby, nice to finally meet you.” From her tone you would have assumed she thought it was indeed not very nice to meet you. But you nod and smile as her calloused hand engulfs yours. You can’t help but notice how warm her skin is to the touch and how large her hands are.

She was incredibly attractive.

“Alrighty you guys ready for an ass whoopin?” Jerry jests.

“You bet.” Your dad replies.

You and your dad make your way to the other side of the net and get into your ready positions. Abby serves the ball first and her swing was strong, but it was no match for your speed. You quickly learned the harder Abby hit the ball the louder she would grunt, so naturally you attempted to rile her up further. You would smirk arrogantly at her every time you and your dad gained a point, and take an extra long time getting ready to serve on the rare occasion she and Jerry would score a point. You and your dad rack up points quickly and the blonde was growing visibly frustrated. She was starting to hit the ball even harder, her jaw was clenched and her expression was so serious. It was adorable.

Eventually Jerry calls for a break and sits on one of the benches with you dad, leaving you to sit with Abby. Alone.

You sit down next to her on the wooden bench and start sipping from your water bottle. She does the same and you sit in silence for a bit. You notice the sweat on her brow and how her shirt is starting to stick to her skin. You can almost make out her abdominal muscles through the thin blue fabric.

“I’m not usually this bad at sports, not used to losing.” Abby says, looking straight ahead. You can’t help but smile at her discontent, she seems just as competitive as you.

“I’m sure your strong muscles get you pretty far in most sports, but apparently tennis is not one of them, especially when you're up against an expert like me.” You say trying to joke around to lighten her mood.

“I wouldn’t classify a varsity tennis player as an expert, but okay.” She says with a smug look, still not facing you. She definitely did not understand your humor.

“Clearly enough of an expert to beat you.” You shoot back. Abby grows silent and continues to sip her water.

You sit in silence while your dad chats with Jerry, giving up on trying to make conversation with Abby. Eventually Jerry and your father stand up ready to finish the game. You and your dad beat them miserably. The game only ended because the sun started to go down, the country club quickly emptying out for the day.

Your dad and Jerry suggest you all get washed up in the locker rooms before leaving. They walk away from the tennis court side by side talking and laughing while you and Abby walk behind them in almost total silence. Once the group reaches the locker rooms the two dads turn to you and Abby.

“Would it be ok if me and Jerry grab a drink together? Abby can take you home in Jerry’s car.” The absolute last thing you wanted was to be stuck in a small car with this mean blonde, but you smiled and nodded.

“See you later kiddo.” Your dad smiles and tussles your hair before walking into the locker room.

You walk into the locker room as well, planning to just keep your distance from Abby for as long as you could until you were stuck with her in a tiny car. You can hear her heavy footsteps follow behind you and you quickly put your bag down, grab a towel and walk towards the showers to avoid facing her. You walk into one of the stalls and turn on the shower. The warm water helps to calm you down and soothes you. You lather on the soap massaging your muscles to relieve any soreness or tension, making sure you washed all the sweat away from the match. Unfortunately you have to be quick because you don’t want to make Abby any more annoyed than she was.

As you step out and begin to dry yourself off you realized you forgot your change of clothes.

Fuck.

You wrap the towel around you tightly and make your way to the lockers. Abby is sitting on the bench in the middle lacing up her shoes. Thank god she was looking down. You scramble over to your bag and grab your clothes out. You turn to head back to the showers to change in peace but Abby’s voice stops you.

“You took fucking forever.” She’s not looking at you, which you have observed to be a habit of hers.

“Didn’t want to stink up your car. Is that ok with you?” Abby scoffs, but says nothing in response.

“Seriously what the fuck did I do to you?” You blurt out, exasperated. You’re not usually this confrontational, but you felt like you deserved an answer. “I have barely had a conversation with you and for some reason you seem to have a problem with me or something.”

Abby stands up angrily to face you and you had almost forgotten you were wearing a towel until she looked at you up and down with wide eyes. “You weren’t even gonna get dressed before asking me that question?” She sounds genuinely pissed off. Was everything you did an inconvenience?

“Doesn’t matter, just answer it.” You look her straight in the eyes, challenging her.

“Fine. You really wanna know?” You nod “I barely had a conversation with you and I could tell you were a brat.” As she’s talking she starts walking towards you, you didn’t even realize you were backing away until you felt the cool metal lockers against your skin. “You have an attitude problem, you know that? You don’t know when to shut the fuck up” She’s close, too close, she’s looking directly down at you daring you to respond.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You were the one who started being rude to me.” You refuse to break eye contact with her, trying to intimidate her from your height was ineffective, she wasn’t backing down. “What are you gonna do?” You ask boldly, tilting your head inviting her to answer. “Teach me a lesson? We both know you’re not gonna do anything, so just let me get dressed so I can get home and never see you again.” She doesn’t respond, the only sound was you and Abby’s synchronized breaths as she stared at you with a fire in her eyes. Her stare somehow made you feel more naked than you already were, making you overly aware of the fact that you were wearing a towel that was starting to slip down.

“You have no idea what you’re asking for sweetheart.” She says almost breathlessly. The anger in her eyes quickly turns into a hunger when she looks down at your towel slowly slipping off your body. You’re holding on to the towel for dear life.

“Fuck.” Abby says breathlessly before doing the absolute last thing you could have expected. She kisses you. Hard.

You let out a surprised squeak and quickly back away, both of your chests heaving. You look in her eyes and see a desperation and hunger that’s almost scary, but for some reason you kiss her back. Abby melts into you and threads her fingers into your hair. You place your hands gently against her chest as she pushes you further against the lockers with her strong body. Her hands slowly travel down to the towel barely maintaining your dignity. She gently pries your hands from the soft material and rips it off throwing it across the room, keeping her lips on yours the entire time. You barely notice the cool air against your bare skin, she is so close to you you can feel her body heat radiate through her clothing.

Abby uses her foot to move yours outward, spreading your legs enough for her to slot her thigh between them. You moan into her mouth the moment her strong thigh makes contact with your bare cunt. You start slowly writhing against her, trying to relive the ache that was growing in your center. Abby breaks away and looks down at you desperately grinding on her thigh. “You’re already so wet for me sweetheart. Barely had to do anything.” She smiles smugly as she watches you become a moaning mess, her thigh creating a perfect pressure against your clit.

Abby starts kissing you down your neck, occasionally sucking on the sensitive skin, the feeling of her rough tongue causing you to whimper. She begins circling her fingers around your nipples, teasing them, before pinching them and rolling them between her fingers. You begin to move faster against her thigh and the pleasure in your belly begins to build. Your moaning starts to become louder as you begin to reach your high. Abby notices and moves her thigh further against you, putting even more pressure on your sensitive bud. “You close baby?” You nod and whine, desperate for any kind of release. You start moving faster against Abby’s thigh and your pleasure quickly hits its peak. It comes crashing against you in overwhelming waves, forcing loud moans from your lips. Abby eventually puts her leg down and backs away slightly, before kneeling in front of you. Before you can ask any questions she grabs one of your legs, hooks it around her shoulder and licks a stripe up your soaking cunt. You hiss through your teeth, sensitive from your first orgasm. She begins teasing your clit with her tongue and you have to thread your fingers into her hair for something to hold on to.

You barely manage to whimper out, “Abs-fuck- I-I’m too sen-senitive.”

She stops for a second and looks up at you. The sight of her kneeling between your legs is nearly enough to have you coming again. “You can take it baby, gonna make you come until you can’t give me that attitude anymore.” And with that she starts lapping at your cunt once again. She sucks your clit into her mouth, her tongue circling your sensitive bud. You let out a surprised whine, your chest heaving from the intense sensation. Abby’s hands grab hold of your hips, bring you closer to her mouth.

You can feel another orgasm building as Abby rubs her thumbs in circles against your skin. You begin uncontrollably writhing against her tongue, but Abby quickly uses her grip on your hips to pin you firmly against the lockers forcing you to remain still. The action caused your pleasure to bubble over. “Abby-”, you whine out “-ffuck-fuck.”

She keeps assaulting your clit through your orgasm, not slowing down. As you begin to come down, you become sensitive again and try to wriggle away from her. She pins your hips against the lockers and looks up at you with a stern look in her eyes. She wasn’t going to stop until you couldn’t even hold yourself up.

She shoves two fingers inside of you causing you to gasp at the sudden intrusion. Her digits slid in easily, your arousal now dripping down your thighs. She curls her fingers forward causing you to have to bite your lip to keep from screaming.

“Don’t you fucking dare bite your lip I want everyone to be able to hear you screaming for me sweetheart.” You clench around her thick fingers at her words and Abby takes that as a sign to keep talking. “You’re taking me so well princess. Think I can add another finger?” You nod eagerly at her in response. “Use your words baby.”

“Y-yes pl-please yes.” With your pathetic reply she adds another finger, filling you to the brim. She fucks you at a steady pace occasionally looking up at you to watch your face scrunch up in pleasure. She begins sucking hard on your clit causing you to let out a pornographic moan. She speeds up her fingers, hitting your g-spot with each thrust. Little moans and whimpers were escaping your lips every time her fingers hit that spongy spot. Your walls began clenching around Abby’s fingers and she knew you were close. Your orgasm hit you quickly and caught you by surprise, your whole body feeling the most intense pleasure you’ve ever felt. You’re not even sure what noises you were making or what you were saying, the pleasure was so blinding all you could do was buck your hips into Abby’s mouth. You were being held up exclusively by Abby’s grip on your hips. She stands up and quickly scoops you up bridal style to sit you down on the bench. She helps you get dressed and you could barely protest, she reduced you to jello. Abby stands up and offers her hand to help you up. You oblige and as you stand up she says “Need you to teach me your tennis skills sometime.” Weirdly she’s smiling.

You can’t help but smirk, “Yeah? Well it’s gonna cost you and I don’t take sexual favors as payment.”

#abby anderson #the last of us 2 #abby x you #abby tlou #abby x fem!reader #abby smut #abby anderson smut #abby anderson x reader #the last of us smut

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cafelattaes · 4 months

Text

death by a thousand cuts | njm

summary : in which you find yourself watching as jaemin gradually becomes out of reach; forcing you to confront the painful reality that your story is heading towards an inevitable end, even if you’re not ready to admit it.

pairing : jaemin x fem! reader

genre : college au, angst

word count : 2.5k

playlist : the last time, you’re losing me, sad beautiful tragic

in your dimly lit room, the blue light from your phone screen cast a cold hue as you stared at the last message you received from jaemin. you had been seeing the same words for what felt like an eternity, as if they were mocking you, each repetition intensifying the sense of heartache and resignation you felt.

'i’ll be right back'

you let out a heavy sigh, carrying the burden of disappointment and frustration. a week had passed in the blink of an eye, and his silence felt louder than ever. you were stuck in a cycle of waiting, hoping things would change with each passing moment.

jaemin’s words had become an echo of broken promises. it wasn't the first time, but the disappointment still hurt. you glanced at the screen, feeling a mix of emotions. the exhaustion of always being the only one begging for effort and acknowledgement bore down on you. with a heavy heart, you set your phone down, facing the reality that you needed to let go of the relationship that no longer served you.

paper cuts had turned into gashes. the resentment over small things, continuously dismissed thinking they weren't significant enough, had boiled over, sending you to your gradual demise.

FIVE MONTHS AGO

'hey jaem, are you doing something right now? i miss you :('

‘i’m sorry, baby. i'm not done with my cases and research yet. also we’re studying for upcoming exams’

‘oh, okay. no worries! make sure to get enough rest when you’re home.’

‘you too, love’

a twinge of sadness and disappointment crept into your heart. while you understood the gravity of jaemin's aspirations and the difficult nature of dating a medical student, the challenges of your on-and-off relationship lingered. this was the longest you had gone through with jaemin without breaking up. resisting the urge to let past grievances resurface, you chose to keep most of your emotions to yourself, knowing that voicing them out was not going to make anything better and would only add to his stress. you didn't want to burden jaemin with your feelings or ignite conflicts during a time where his focus needed to be on his studies.

you busied yourself by scrolling through your phone and randomly navigating your friends' instagram stories. jeno's post grabbed your attention, featuring a group picture that included your boyfriend. however, your focus shifted when you noticed eunbin among the faces. her connection with jaemin as his childhood friend, as well as her evident feelings for him even before you entered the picture, weighed on your mind. you felt a bit uneasy thinking about the situation. you wondered if her being around might bring back unresolved feelings or make things even more complicated for you and jaemin.

you tossed your phone on the bed, redirecting your attention to something else to shake off the sudden drop in mood. even though you didn't want to feel jealous of eunbin, it was hard not to. she liked your boyfriend and confessed to him before you got together. despite his reassurances and the clear boundaries he set, a pang of jealousy still remained. you had to accept eunbin's role as one of his closest friends, a constant presence in his life. there was not much you could do to change it.

after a long day of busying yourself to focus more on your academic life, you felt your phone buzz with a text message from jaemin.

‘hey! are you free today? let’s go on a date :) i miss you a lot.’

‘sorry, im too tired to go out these days. i just want to rest after spending so much time studying’

‘oh no baby :( it’s fine. do you want anything? we can just stay and laze around all day in your place instead. but only if you want to’

‘okay’

an hour later, you heard a buzz at your door, and there was jaemin, wearing a smile and holding some of your favorite snacks. you took them from him as he settled into your place. while you prepared the food, jaemin came up from behind, giving you a hug and planting a gentle kiss on the back of your head. he then rested his chin on your shoulder.

"we don't see each other a lot these days. i missed you so much," your heart tightened, a sudden rush of longing and sadness enveloping you. you missed him a lot too. since you got back together, you've been suppressing a lot of your thoughts to avoid another breakup. however, the past few months have been challenging, and you felt like even the smallest thing might cause you to break down emotionally.

“i missed you too,” you whispered in reply.

jaemin was not clueless. you've been together for more than two years and he could easily sense if there was something off about you. he noticed that you began to distance yourself from him. your responses to his messages were brief and dry, picking up on the growing disconnection. he, too, was afraid to bring it up, opting to ignore the underlying problems that had been bothering both of you for a while. he would rather pretend as if everything was fine than risk a conversation and face the possibility of losing you again.

he feared that if you two were to break up once more, it might truly be the end. a sharp stab of pain coursed through his chest with that thought.

THREE MONTHS AGO

you were starting to fall asleep when your peace was suddenly interrupted by your phone ringing. noticing it was a call from mark, you answered.

‘mark?’

‘hey, y/n, sorry to bother you. can you pick jaemin up?’

‘huh? where?’

‘we’re at a bar right now, i’ll text you the address. i can’t bring all of us home and i also drank a little. hope you don’t mind.’

‘yeah, it’s fine. i’ll be on my way.’

‘thanks y/n.’

you left your place once you received the address from mark. you arrived at the bar a little later, scanning the place for the familiar group of guys. you spotted mark, struggling to separate himself from haechan's grasp.

“hey.”

“oh, y/n, you’re here.” jeno waved at you. “jaemin, your girlfriend’s here.” jeno shook him violently, prompting him to get up.

“y/n, did you know? jaemin said that you’ve been-“ haechan groaned in pain as mark slapped his back to stop him from talking.

“you guys should go. jaemin is dead drunk, he almost fell asleep on the bathroom.”

“alright, we’re off. you guys take care on your way home.” you bid farewell to them as you held jaemin for support.

the night air was cool as you stepped outside, hailing for a cab. after some effort, you managed to get him inside, settling into the backseat. jaemin was mostly asleep on the ride home. despite some difficulty getting him out and bringing him to your place, you eventually managed to settle him on the couch. you took off his shoes before getting a damped towel and offering him a glass of water.

“jaemin, do you need anything?” you asked him quietly while wiping his face with the towel. he was silent for a while as you helped him into a more comfortable position.

“you’ve been spending a lot of time with eric,” he murmured. you raised your eyebrows in confusion. you’ve only seen the guy twice this week for some club related-activities.

“stop seeing him, or he might get the wrong idea.”

oh.

jaemin had mentioned before that he didn't like eric, claiming that whenever you two took a break, the latter guy saw it as an opportunity to make a move on you. however, jaemin misinterpreted eric's intention, being one of your friends who comforted you during your breakups. while he hinted at liking you at some point, he respected your boundaries and never attempted to cross the line. all your friends knew that jaemin was the center of your world, even at times when you were supposed to forget about him.

“we’ll talk about that tomorrow when you’re sobered up. you need to get some rest now.” you said, standing up to get him a pillow and a blanket. however, he held your wrist, pulling you back to sit on the couch.

“you’ve changed…” he uttered out of the blue, and a sigh escaped your lips. jaemin had a tendency to ramble when he was drunk. it seemed best to let him express whatever was on his mind.

"you used to make time for me, no matter how busy you got. you always found a way for us to spend time together, even when i was swamped with tasks. but now... you're not as affectionate as before and it feels like you love me a little less. you don't get mad, and you don't seem to care even when i try to ignore you on purpose to get your attention. are you getting sick of me?"

your breath shuddered at his sudden confession. it seemed like the first time jaemin was the first to address your situation while being completely honest about his feelings. it never even crossed your mind that he was ignoring you intentionally. up until now, you had always been the one initiating the difficult conversations. every time you bared your soul, hoping jaemin would make things right, it often ended up having the opposite effect. despite his attempts to take your feelings into consideration and provide solace and affirmations, the impact seemed to fade after a few days, leaving you feeling unheard. eventually, you started to question yourself if you were maybe asking for too much. so you stopped trying, which was the turning point that led to your last breakup.

when jaemin asked to get back together, you couldn't bring yourself to refuse, just like all those times you had taken him back before. despite of the emotional turmoil in your relationship, your love for jaemin remained unwavering. being with him, even with the fights and his occasional neglect, felt a thousand times better than not being with him at all. but now, you weren't sure if you could still bear the pain that came with loving him. a sense of uncertainty settled heavily in your heart, feeling a lump formed in your throat.

“you can’t blame me for getting tired when it feels like i’m the only one trying,” your tears began to flow freely, feeling overwhelmed as all your frustrations and hurt hit you all at once. “you keep saying you love me, but your actions say otherwise. i’ve grown sick of showing my love while not seeing you put in the same effort as i do. sometimes, i want to ask if you still love me the way you once did. because if there’s anyone who changed, jaemin, it’s you. you stopped trying the moment our relationship became too comfortable.” you wiped your tears, the sound of muffled sobs echoing in the silence.

“you have no idea how much i’ve been bottling up my feelings. the pain that has built over these years of being with you is suffocating. i want to let out my frustrations, scream at you, and demand your attention, especially when you seem to have time for everyone else but me. even though i know how busy you can get, i can't help but find it unfair, because for you, i would drop everything. i’ve been keeping count of all the times you claimed to be too occupied to be there for me when i needed you the most, only for me to find out that you were hanging out with your friends. your world doesn’t have to revolve around me, but i just want to feel that i still hold a place in your life.”

jaemin's glassy eyes remained fixed on you. even in his intoxicated state, he became acutely aware of all the things he had done wrong in the relationship and the impact it had on you. he had always played it safe, choosing to overlook the signs and letting you suffer on your own. he didn't realize the gravity of the damage he had inflicted on the person he claimed to love. it broke his heart taking in how far he had allowed things to go. with tears streaming down his face, his hand reached out for you.

“i’m so sorry i made you feel that way… i’m sorry for everything,” he whispered in remorse, drawing you into his arms. closing his eyes, he kissed your forehead tenderly as a silent plea for forgiveness. his chest felt heavy with the weight of regret as the painful reality sank in. he wished he could shelter you from every mistake he had ever made.

“i don’t want your apology. i just want us to go back to the way things were before.” your words carried the weight of longing for the happiness that once defined your relationship.

but the air was thick with unspoken truth. you both knew, that no matter what happens now, the two of you can no longer return to how things used to be.

PRESENT

three weeks had passed since the last time you and jaemin spoke. despite sharing tears together that night he got drunk, not much had changed. jaemin became cautious, and you were left wondering whether he would do something to alter the state of your relationship, considering you already said your piece. yet, it appeared that both of you had silently acknowledged the reality that there was little you could do, having allowed things to reach a point beyond saving.

you found yourselves in a tug-of-war, each waiting for the other to end the relationship. however, you hoped he would be the one to pull the trigger this time, because he never made an attempt to ask you to stay. if you were the one to do it, you feared weakness might overcome you if he were to return again. so, you wished for him to take the decisive step to allow you to truly feel that everything was over for both of you. yet, deep down, a small part of you remained hopeful that he would defy your expectations and fight for what was left.

but even when it came down to it, jaemin couldn't muster the courage to call it quits. in your mind, you were begging him not to leave you like this. after everything you had been through together, he couldn't possibly walk away without saying anything.

but as the hours turned to days, days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months, the truth of the matter set in; you must move on to the next phase of your life without reaching a conclusion to the final chapter of your story. until the very end, jaemin couldn't find the words to cut the ties that bound you. instead, he chose the easy way out, one that was hard only for you, leaving behind a heartbreak that time alone couldn't mend and abandoning you to tend to the pieces of your shattered self.

you were left with no choice but to miss him for the rest of your life, each passing moment a reminder of the void he left behind.

#jaemin scenario #jaemin imagine #jaemin x reader #jaemin x you #jaemin x y/n #jaemin scenarios #jaemin imagines #nct dream fic #nct dream angst #jaemin angst #jaemin x fem reader #nct dream x reader #jaemin fanfic #na jaemin #nct dream imagines #nct fic #nct dream

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silvermistcosmos · 8 months

Text

▬▬ enhypen's reaction to their s/o calling them while their parents are fighting

PAIRING. enhypen x reader

GENRE. angst, little fluff // reaction

WARNINGS. readers parents argue all the time, mentions of things breaking due to said argument

WC. 2400+

A/N. sorry if it seems kind of repetitive. coming up with 7 different scenarios for the same topic is kind of difficult so i'm sure some things are repeated, but i really wanted to post today!

# Heeseung

You plopped onto your bed, throwing your head on your pillow face down. You pulled the pillow to both of your ears to try and block out the screaming that was just outside your door, but it was all in vain.

You groaned as you grabbed your headphones from your nightstand and pulled your phone out to call your boyfriend.

Right when Heeseung picked up his phone, he heard your parents in the background and he knew exactly why you were calling, "Are you parents fighting again?" He asked even though he already knew the answer and you hummed over the speaker.

"What about this time? Who has to do the laundry?" He joked and you laughed.

"No this time it's about how dinner was cold before dad got home." You rolled your eyes and you knew he couldn't see he, but he could probably imagine your face.

He sighed, his tone becoming a little more serious, "Are you doing alright?"

You bit your lip, "As good as I can be. By now I'm used to this, but it just sucks that they're always fighting."

"I know it is...How about tomorrow we go out to eat and get some boba or something to kind of destress. You can talk to me about all your worries, hm?"

"I can't do that. I know your schedule is packed." You replied. However much you wanted to accept, you didn't want to take from his practice time.

"I can always make time for you. I'll just practice extra hard tomorrow so I can leave work a little early. Don't worry, I can skip a couple hours of practice."

"If you're sure...I would really love to see you."

# Jay

You winced when your parents suddenly raised their voices. You laid on your bed, listening to their argument. You thought that you should know the flaws in their relationship so that you don't repeat it...because you are their daughter. This wouldn't pass down genetically, right? Either way, you were determined to not be like them, but it really scared you. What if one day, you start fighting with your boyfriend, Jay like the way they were fighting now? What if your marriage would break because of it?

Not really thinking, you called Jay so you could let things off your chest. The moment he picked up, you didn't let him speak, "Jay...we won't fight like the way my parents do, right?"

"What?" He asked, slightly confused over the sudden question.

"I mean, in the future if we get married, we will handle our disagreements civilly, right?" You asked in a clearer way, waiting for his answer.

"You're scared we are going to have a bad marriage like your parents, right?"

"I've just been thinking a lot...what if my parents passed down to me their flaws that make them have such awful fights and a bad marriage? And-"

"Love, that's impossible. Even if they passed down those flaws to you, it's how you handle those flaws that can make or break you. If you see those flaws within yourself, you don't have to be like them and not improve on them. I know you, you will be an amazing wife. And I'm not going to lie and tell you that we aren't going to fight because the truth of the matter is we will. There's probably going to be days that we don't want to see or talk to each other and there's probably going to be slamming of doors, but we love each other and we have the mindset that we will try to fix it no matter what and I can't say that your parents have that. So in short, no, we will not be like them when we get married and I can promise you that."

Your eyes watered as you sniffed, "Jay, I love you so much. I can't wait to marry you."

"I love you too. Don't worry about these things, okay?"

#Jake

You leaned against your door, resting your head on it with your eyes closed. A couple tears trickled down your cheeks and you groaned at yourself for being sensitive. Every time you heard their voice raising, you would jump a little. You thought you should be used to this by now, but hearing chairs being swung on the ground and your mother's yelling along with the sound of her hitting your dad's chest made you feel so helpless.

Feeling the only way to calm you down was your boyfriend, Jake's voice, you picked up your phone to call him. Though hesitant to tell him what was happening, you pressed his name and it began to ring.

You and Jake hadn't dated for too long so you never really told him about your family's problems especially the one that was ripping your family apart.

"Hello?"

"Hey...What's up?" You asked, not really knowing what to say, but there was a sudden crash right behind you where your parents were.

"Wait, what was that? Are you okay?" Jake questioned, suddenly alarmed.

"Yeah...it's my parents." You sighed, "Are you free to talk?"

"Yeah, of course!"

You explained to him about all that was happening with your family. Once you started telling him, for some reason you couldn't stop and in the end you busted out into tears. You felt bad for letting everything out in front of him, but it felt so good to get it all off your chest.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that...I just told you everything and I-I really didn't mean to."

"What? There's no need to apologize for anything. I want to be there for you." He sympathized.

"I know...It's just, I know we haven't dated for long and I feel like maybe you weren't prepared for all this."

"Hey now, we haven't dated for long, sure, but this is a big part of your life and if we're going to be a big part in each other's lives then I think think this is a good step. I'm really happy you told me." He stopped himself, "Wait, I didn't mean I'm happy this is happening to you, I just mean that I'm happy that you thought to call me and was comfortable enough to tell me. I want to help you through this."

You laughed, "I know what you mean." You paused and there was silence on the phone for a few seconds, "Thank you, Jake...Thanks for listening to me."

"I'll always listen."

# Sunghoon

You turned your head away from the scene, embarrassed. Right in front of all your family, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, your parents began to argue. One of the nasty arguments. All because you asked a question and it started something between them.

You shook your head as tears made it's way to your eyes. You put down your napkin and left the dinner table while everyone else tried to focus on their meal instead of the increasing volume of your parents.

You sat on the bathroom floor, leaning against the cabinets, thinking about your life and how messed up it was. You automatically went to your phone and pressed Sunghoon's contact to call him. If you were ever feeling down, Sunghoon told you to call him no matter what or when and most of the time you didn't do that because you didn't want to bother him, but you really needed him.

"Hi my darling, how are you?" You could sense his smile through the phone and you felt bad since you felt like you were about to ruin his mood.

"Ah, well, I'm sitting on the ground in the bathroom at a family reunion because my parents couldn't save their arguing for later when we were back home." You spat, sounding a little more annoyed than you meant to.

"Oh...I'm so sorry, Y/n. Do you want me to come pick you up? Just send me the address."

"No, it's okay, really...I'm not going to have you do that, but thank you. It really means a lot." You let out a deep breath, "I honestly just wanted to hear your voice."

"Oh, does my handsome voice make you feel better? Should I send pictures too?" He teased and you smiled. He is and always will be a tease.

"Could you sing for me?"

You heard him laugh nervously on the other end, "Sing?"

"You don't have to." You assured. You didn't want to make him uncomfortable. You knew he was a little embarrassed to sing.

"No no, it's okay. I'll sing." He started off a little nervous, but slowly began to feel a lot more comfortable. If this helped you, he was going to make sure he did whatever it took to take your mind off of what was happening.

And it really did.

# Sunoo

Your breath caught in your throat and you coughed to be able to get some air. Your hands formed into fists, your nails digging into your palm, but you hardly noticed. It was hard to notice a small thing like that when just outside your door, glass was being shattered and loud voices echoed through the house. The voices were your parents arguing over something so stupid that if you weren't in the state you were in, you would probably laugh at.

You held your phone with shaky hands, dialing in your boyfriend's number because he was the only one that could calm you down right now.

Almost immediately he picked up and greeted you with his cheerful voice as always, "Hi my love, how are you doing, beautiful?" You couldn't help but give a small smile. Just his voice alone made you feel a little better.

"Sunoo," you started, cursing your hoarse voice.

His demeanor changed instantly and he began asking you a bunch of questions, "Y/n, are you okay? What happened? Did someone hurt you?"

"I'm okay...it's just that my parents are fighting again."

"Oh..." Sunoo's breath fanned over speaker, "Do you want to listen to music with me? Get your earphones and just blast it. Alright?"

"Ok..." You put your earphones in your ears and turned the volume all the way up and listened to music with Sunoo for hours until you finally fell asleep, temporarily forgetting about the mess out there.

# Jungwon

You gasped and your head sprung up from your pillow when you heard a loud crash from outside your room. You looked around your room then at the clock beside you. It was 2 in the morning and your parents were at it. Again.

You groaned and rolled your eyes. Just as you were about to put in some earphones, you got a text from Jungwon.

'You're probably sleeping already, but I wanted to say goodnight.'

You smiled at your text and decided to give him a call. Just to say goodnight. You could use a little bit of his leader wisdom.

"Hey cutie, what are you doing awake? It's 2 in the morning!" Jungwon answered the phone.

"My parents are out there arguing so it woke me up. No surprise though. I just wanted to say goodnight."

"Are you going to be able to sleep with the ruckus?"

"Honestly? Probably not, but it'll be okay. They'll have to stop eventually." You shrugged, knowing full well it probably won't stop for a long while.

"How about we go for a little walk?" He suggested, "We haven't been able to go for a night walk in a long time and I really want to see you. I could really use one of your famous hugs! And I don't want to go to sleep knowing you're listening to your parent's argue. I wouldn't sleep well."

"Yeah, that sounds really nice. I feel wide awake now anyways and I miss you."

"Okay, then meet me at the usual spot in 10 minutes. Oh, and remember to bring a scarf, hat, gloves, and big coat. It's really cold out and I don't want you getting sick." Jungwon of course had to add his little father like comments. You thought it was adorable.

And so you snuck out your window like you've done so many times before and stayed out with Jungwon till dawn, maybe falling asleep together at the park's bench.

# Niki

You sat at the desk in your room, your head resting on your arms that laid on the desk. You were just thinking. You had been thinking for a couple hours now actually while your parents were out there arguing over, well, you.

Anything you did always ended up with a fight between them because they both wanted you to do different things and couldn't agree on anything it seemed like. You sniffled, wiping your eyes with the paw of your sweater. You didn't know what to do. If they got a divorce, you knew it would end with a big legal battle about you and you'd probably have to pick which parent you wanted to go with and it would just be a big mess. You just wanted it all to stop.

You decided to distract yourself by calling Niki. He was always great at cheering you up. He didn't even need to try, he was just always your happy pill.

After a couple rings, he picked up, "Hi Niki, what are you doing?" You asked, hoping he wasn't busy.

"In the middle of playing a game with Heeseung." He replied, obviously concentrating on the game.

"Oh...it's okay, this can wait." Your voice began to go quaky again and you cursed it in your head. You really didn't want to bother him if he was busy.

"No no, that doesn't sound like it can wait. What's wrong, y/n?" Niki asked, his full focus on you now.

"It's nothing big...it's just that my parents are fighting again." you bit your lip, "I can handle it on my own...I just didn't feel like it today." You admitted.

"And you don't have to handle it alone. Y/n, you have me so that you don't have to do anything alone anymore. I'm with you, good times and bad. It's okay to lean on me."

"Aw Niki." You let out a small cry, "I just don't know what to do. I'm so lost."

"And we are going to figure that out together, okay? I'll be at your house in 15. We'll talk...a lot. And I'll bring one of my hoodies, okay?"

"Will you bring one that smells like you?" You asked, no shame in your voice.

"I'll give you the one I'm wearing now." He promised, "I'm on my way now. We are going to take care of this situation together. We may not have an answer today, but trust me, we will."

taglist: @love-4-keum @flo-i @deafeningballoonnacho @luveuly @tyunni @sulkygyu @quokkasunggie @niktwazny303 @jeonghanscumslut

if you want to get tagged when I post new writing pieces, just send me an ask and I’ll add you to my taglist

#enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen reactions #heeseung #jay #jake #sunoo #jungwon #niki #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #sierra writes

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latenuitrambles · 7 months

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Could you do a Diluc x reader (one sided on readers part) and she sees he falls out of love with her (inspired by La gata bajo la lluvia-Rocío Durcal) make it as angsty as you can!! 🥲🤲

𝓛𝓪 𝓰𝓪𝓽𝓪 𝓫𝓪𝓳𝓸 𝓵𝓪 𝓵𝓵𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓪

(Diluc x g/n reader angst Songfic)

Note: finally finished this. it feels maybe a little repetitive at the end but I'm still satisfied with it overall. the lyrics might be a bit off because I had to get the translation for it and that might not be totally accurate! Anyways enjoy and criticism and reblogs are appreciated!!!! requests are open!

TW: nothing much just angst no comfort, not proofread :<

“My love don't worry I wont bother you, and I know there's a torrent running through your mind”

He was different, ever since he had come back. You could feel the distance between you two. The words left unsaid, the late nights at the tavern, the times you woke up in the middle of the night and he wasn't in the bed, the way his smile strained when he looked at you. It had been quite some time since you guys went on any dates, or even just sat down to eat breakfast together. The distance between you two expanded every day and all you did is watch, watch as the love of your life drifted away from you.

“Don't fear there's no reason ,I don't blame you for the past.”

You watched him build his walls.. He quit the knights. He pushed Kaeya away too. When he had told you that he needed to go away from Monstadt to clear his mind, you had thought it would be fine, that he just needed space after his father's accident. And though you wanted to be there for him, if he wanted to mourn alone, you would respect that. “I'll be waiting for you when you come back, no matter how long it takes”, you had told him. It took months, and he returned but also not at the same time. It was as if he had aged decades in that time. He was no longer the Diluc you that had fallen for you. You had smiled and hugged him, tears falling from your eyes, and he had hugged you back too, but his embrace no longer felt warm. You had held hope, maybe things would get better, he just needed some time, things would return to normal. And now, as you sat in the empty room you and him shared, it finally hit you, things were never going to be the same.

"Love, I know, honestly don't say anything. If you see any tears, I'm sorry I know that you didn't want to make an injured cat cry."

You were going to end things with him. It wasn't because you didn't love him anymore. No, far from it, you loved him too much, and he, didn't love you enough. Not anymore. But you knew he didn't want the same hurt you. Even after everything you knew he was still that kind boy you had fallen for, the one who would rather stay with you even when he didn't have feelings for you anymore just so you won't get hurt. But you couldn't do that to him. To chain him down. Maybe this was your last gift to him, your last act of love. You were going to let him go, even if it would tear your soul apart to do so.

“Love, if one day , we see each other out there, invite me to a coffee and make me love”

You stood in front of your house, with your bags packed, the rain falling on you. It made your heart clench. The memories you had with him flooding your mind. You felt like a cat in the rain, left outside, with no purpose or home. Because that is what he was to you, home. You had left a letter on the table, breaking it off and telling him to not look for you. It had hurt so much to write those bitter words, but for him you'd do anything. You were going to leave Monstadt and go far away, so that you could not convince yourself to change your mind. Maybe one day you’d return, when both of you have grown and his wounds wouldn’t hurt so much anymore. Maybe he would finally let you nurse them. Let you in again. Maybe one day you would be home again.

#ania.writes #genshin x reader #diluc x reader angst #diluc x you #diluc x y/n #diluc x gender neutral reader #diluc angst #genshin angst #genshin impact angst #genshin impact x reader #diluc ragnvindr #genshin diluc #genshin fanfic #genshin impact #diluc x reader

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mikeeel · 7 months

Text

always 'nd forever seungcheol x mixed!reader (MY REPPP) bestfriends to lovers!au (YAAAAAAAAAA) warnings: not much, jst dirty things & suggestive not explicit smut but yanno they get naked, weed, Idk

based off of girl with the tattoo.lewd by miguel

IMAGINE:

you and seungcheol had been bestfriends for as long as you could speak. you two were glued to the hip since youth and no matter how many times you tried to break apart, you always managed to come back to each other. you've never known anyone different. it's always been you and him. it was visible you were close. so visible, your classmates would ask either of you where the other was when they weren't present, because if anyone would know where one was, the other would know. and it's correct. you always knew. you shared everything, you've seen everything. nothing was, embarrassing between you two, i mean, you've bathed with each other for god's sake! that's what close friends do. and since he always defended you when people would comment on your skin colour and then your parents' LACK of colour, you always found him a safe place, a comfort zone. and since he was always alone, you gave him company within a big house.

studying together, eating together, playing ps4 together, learning together, talking together, kissing together.. your hand on his cheek, your caramel glass skin glistening and perfect two-toned lips shining, glossy, and inviting. you leaned in and whispered; 'you okay, eollie?' you say with a concerning tone of voice as the world shifts. his wide eyes as he realises you've been this close this entire time. shaking his head, and muttering under his breath 'what the actual fuck..' as you looked confused as ever. 'i'm okay n/n, don't worry.' seungcheol says as you nod slowly.

you unconsciously tempt him. your school uniform suiting you perfectly, your skirt perfectly laid on your thighs as your legs swing back and forth with a childish manner. 'yeah i'm okay n/n. don't worry. just a bit distracted.' he stutters as he avoids any long eye contact and whips his head back to the chalkboard. you don't even know it but you seduce him, with every move you do. and it gets worse as you and him get older. you were a late bloomer, a VERY late bloomer, only blooming as you get into university. even though your body is clearly every boy's dream, you never take advantage of it. staying true to yourself and how your body is a temple. but, you've been getting popular, going to parties. and seungcheol, he's always been a popular guy. naturally charming and naturally attractive. who hasn't imagined him kissing you so hard you beg for more? wait, pause- 'girl! where are you?' yunjin waves in your face, pulling a face as she snaps you back into reality. 'sorry, uh,' you scramble to find the notes you were reading over. but your phone vibrates.. cheollie :) is ringing you swipe your phone quicker than yunjin could blink and you answer it with a honey-dew like voice. 'hello?' you say while twirling your hair like a 14 year old girl. you smile cheekily while yunjin pulls the most disgusted face known to man. 'uhm, yeah i'm studying with yunjinnie.. uhh, we're like done now basically hahaha.' you cutely giggled as you falsely claim that you've finished everything (you haven't even started) and start packing away. 'a party?' you stop in your tracks and yunjin's eyes widen. you look at yunjin and she shrugs, egging you on to reply. 'sure, i'll go. yunjin will come with me,' you say as you mouth sorry to a pissed off yunjin. 'okay. love you, bye' you hang up and slap your head repetitively. you can never say no to seungcheol and it's starting to piss you off. 'are you serious, y/n? our project is due in two days.' yunjin scolds you and proceeds to pack up too. 'yunjin, please! this could be my chance.' you beg her with pleading eyes. 'smch, whatever,' she rolls her eyes and grabs you to get ready for the party.

you knock on the door of the house literally vibrating from the loud dj music and screaming. seungkwan opens the door with a desperate look on his face. 'Y/N. you need to get seungcheol under control, he's going like mad mixing drinks and he's planning to chug them all. i'm pretty sure he's gonna kill himself and his liver too.. and maybe-' seungkwan gets cut off by dokyeom and vernon roaring with encouragement as seungcheol grabs the large mixing bowl full of liquid. you literally scream and run towards him and snatch it out of his hands. everyone boos and makes up their face towards you. 'cheollie, why are you doing this?' you hush as you put your hand flat on his chest to keep him away from the bowl. 'y/n, loosen up. all you do is work, work and work, you never drink, you never smoke, hell, you don't even vape? how are you not going mentally insane?' seungcheol says in disbelief while shaking his head, snatching back the bowl once you are distracted. you furrow your eyebrows. you don't need drugs, alcohol. you are perfectly fine without them and cue the corny shit, you wanna show people not every mixed bitch smokes weed. that you can get shit done like tiana from the princess and the frog and do shit for you without help from others. but yeah, lowkey, these new locs were hurting your head and you needed some loosening. the project can wait, you'd get that down in a day, that essay is nearly finished and the presentation is already done, AND its looked over. you'll survive, these problems are for future y/n to worry about. 'bro, fuck it. give me the bombaclaat bowl back. befo'e you piss me off in this place, wid yo' stupid ass,' you snatch the bowl back from him and completely chug it in a matter of seconds. the bitterness of wine and then the hit of tequila and vodka come in within an instant, making you shiver and tingle. the whole room is silent, everyone is looking at each other while seungcheol looks at you in shock. he gives you the widest, shit-eating grin ever and exclaims. 'fuck yeah!!' cheers and roars of encouragement are heard as everybody slaps your shoulders and back. dokyeom shakes your hand. 'well done, y/n. i knew you could do it. i'm about to cry,' he starts to weep dramatically and you roll your eyes and tie up your locs but you wince again forgetting you just got them tight and 'them bitches tight as fuck' as fatou says. 'y'all can't take no shit. mad ting,' you kiss your teeth as you whip your head away from him. dokyeom laughs out loud and slaps cheol on his back. 'i forget your girl's british and jamaican. combination of two worlds, it's a mad ting!' he attempts to do a british accent but pathetically fails. but what you focus on is that dk called you seungcheol's 'girl'? and, he didn't react but laugh and slap him on the back of his head. you can't lie, it got you flustered but that's normal right? right..

'come on, dk. lay off it. your british accent is almost as bad as your engineering final grades,' vernon chuckles as the three of you bust up laughing as dokyeom walks off with an attitude. you don't forget what you came here for though, so you tap cheol on the shoulder. 'hey, can we talk?' you whisper in his ear, he nods and pulls you closer to whisper back. his hot breath fanning across your neck and ear as he whispers. 'yeah of course darling, what about?' you freeze. you personally combusted into a million flames and literally FELT like you were on fire. you felt like you were about to pass out and fawn like women did in those really old movies. you pull him closer until he turns his head and silence.. everything seems silent. it was only for 20 seconds or so but it felt like eternity in his eyes. you snapped out of it though when you dragged to a typical spin the bottle. cheol shouts in agreement as he puts out his hand. 'wanna do it?' as his eyes trace your features. your perked lips and brown eyes with falsies flashing at him. you look beautiful, he's mesmerised. you put your hands in his. 'only if it's with you.' you say as you squeeze his hand. he flashes a golden boy smile as he holds your hand to walk to the living room.

'okay, y/n. you spin,' dokyeom says while taking a swig of some koppaberg. you shake your head and spin. it spins and lands on vernon. everyone laughs and chants 'kiss' as you shrug. you don't give a fuck, you downed so many shots and had that big bowl of alcohol, you don't remember what's what and you don't care either.

'wagwan sexy, give me a kiss,' you slur as a joke and climb to vernon and grab his face. you kiss him long, slow and hard. everyone in the room is shocked, except one.

seungcheol.

he's bursting at the seams inside actually, trying not to rip you off vernon and show you exactly who deserves you. his clenched teeth and fists, he's mad. and dk noticed. he clears his throat before you start to get deeper in the kiss with vernon. you two break apart and you let out the most obvious giggle ever. vernon shakes his head as you turn your body around to sit on him, and vernon snakes his hands around you to wrap himself around you and whispers in your ear. you giggle and whisper back at his ear as your head tilts backwards onto his shoulders. this is when seungcheol breaks and stands up and proceeds to storm out the living room. you're too focused on vernon's shoe crevices to even notice he's gone until you noticed the long silence with everyone looking at you.

'what?' you question as you turn to ask seungcheol what's going on, you saw he wasn't there anymore. yunjin slaps vernon's hand from your waist.

'girl? did you forget what you here for?' yunjin hushers as she pushes you off. your eyes widen as you run off to find seungcheol.

he's upstairs in his room, window open and looking out into the street. faint barking and alarms can be heard with the midnight sky. the house feels quieter, but he doesn't care that much. 'vernon? you gotta be shitting me,' he says to himself.

you walk up the stairs, towards the back of the house where seungcheol's room is, cursing yourself for not thinking. that's exactly what you NEVER do. you see the door is slightly ajar so you creep in. you scowl as you see a cigarette. as you take the cigarette from his hand, he looks up at you with jealousy in his eyes but a twang of hurt too. 'stop smoking, i told you it's not attractive,' you say as you twist and turn it on the ashtray. 'says the one who smokes blunts,' he grunted as you laughed. 'only when i go to jamaica,' you stand next to him and fiddle with your jeans. 'do you like me, y/n?' he asks and you tense. a long exhale is heard as you scratch your head. 'yeah,' you say straight up. cheol nods. silence occurs and you get more uncomfortable by the second. 'it's okay if you don't like me back. i get it,' you stammered. he shakes his head. 'i've been waiting for you for you to like me back since i turned 15. trust me, there's a lot of things that i'm not, but the one thing i am is in love with you,' he said, but his lip twitched. usually it means he's nervous so you move your hand to his. 'i'm sorry for kissing vernon,' you whisper, squeezing his hand. you've both held hands many times but this time, it just feels different, it feels real. 'it's okay n/n. you can kiss me instead,' he turns his head to face you. you feel sober, he made you realise, he's your reality, your future. he always had been. your eyes get glossy as you admire his features. you lean in to kiss him, his lips flushed against yours. over time, you get closer, touchier. you feel him, here, now. you break apart. the only light in the room is moonlight as he leads you to his bed. 'i want to show you how vulnerable i am for you, y/n,' cheol begins slowly rising his shirt, showing his heartbeat tattoo on his heart. his body sculpted by god, perfecting itself in the shining light. you truly are in him completely. 'i'm vulnerable for you, seungcheol. i always have been,' you unbuckle your corset top as you let it fall, revealing your blue, lacy bra. he inhales as he tries to contain himself, he unties his sweatpants and lets them fall too, kicking them to a random place in his room. you undo your jean buttons, removing your trousers. you're both left in your underwear, you nod and begin taking them off, revealing your nude bodies. you feel cold as the open window brushes wind through your body, making you shiver. cheol laughs as he walks towards you. he opens his arms, leaving you to make the choice to embrace him or not. you're hesitant, but you step closer and hold him. you stay like that for a bit, holding each other.

he lets you go and slowly lowers you onto the bed, prepared to show you how much he truly loves you.

#choi seungcheol #seungcheol x reader #seungcheol smut #seventeen seungcheol #svt #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #scoups x reader #scoups #scoups smut

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mads-weasley · 2 years

Text

Let Me Help You

Luke Morrow x Wife!Reader

A/N: I looooved this movie, so I had to write a fic for Luke! In this fic, the reader is his real wife (no fake marriage thing)! Enjoy!

Summary: When Luke gets home after a long day, a scary situation leads to the couple having a heart to heart.

Warnings: none!

(y/e/c) - your eye color

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Luke woke at the repetitive sound of the alarm clock beside him that read 7:00am. Running a hand down his face, he silently peeled back the covers and grabbed his brace from the side of the bed. He worried about the sound from the velcro straps waking you up, but little did he know that you were already awake, a headache waking you up at 5 that morning.

With a suppressed grunt, he stood up and reached for his cane, slowly walking towards the bathroom. He got ready in silence before walking back into their bedroom.

"I love you, baby. I'll see you later," he whispered, leaning down and kissing her temple.

(Y/n) rolled over to face him, smiling softly. "I love you, too. Have fun working out. Don't overdo it."

Mirroring her smile, he nodded and said another 'I love you' as he closed the door behind him. The second the door shut, (y/n) sunk back into the pillows, sighing as she messaged her temples. At that moment, she knew that day would be a long one.

The drive home wasn't short enough for (y/n) after her miserable day at work. Since that morning, her migraine had only worsened, slowly becoming debilitating as the day went on. She probably had checked her watch over a hundred times before her shift was over.

As she walked through the door, she was attacked by Peaches, the golden retriever's barks increasing the ever-present pounding in her head.

"Hey, girl," (y/n) cooed quietly, scratching behind Peaches' ear lovingly. "I've missed you."

After popping a few ibuprofen...or five, she went through the cabinets in search of ingredients to use for dinner, even though she felt nauseous herself. She knew when Luke came come that he would be starving after a day of physical therapy and his own training to get back in shape.

Even though she felt like she could fall over any second, she continued her search. Deciding on chicken alfredo penne, she started the noodles and began making the sauce when the shrill ringing of her phone pierced her ears.

White hot pain filled her vision and she shut her eyes tightly as she answered the phone.

"Hello."

"Hey, (y/n/n). I just wanted to let you know that I'm on my way home."

Her headache seemed to dull slightly at the sound of her husband's voice. "Okay. I'm making dinner right now, but I'll see you in a few. Love you."

Luke moaned quietly at the thought of food. "That sounds amazing. I love you, too. Bye."

A few minutes had passed when Luke's keys jangled in the door. (Y/n) was too focused on the pan in front of her and simply staying upright that she didn't hear him call out to her. She gasped slightly when he wrapped his arms around her stomach, resting his chin on her head.

Leaning down, he kissed her temple. "Hey, sweetheart. I missed you today."

(Y/n) turned around in his arms, thankful that he was there to ground her. The second he saw the dark circles under her eyes and the pale complexion that covered her normally vibrant face, he knew something was wrong. With furrowed brows, he cupped eyes her cheeks and looked deeply into her eyes. In her (y/e/c) irises, he saw complete exhaustion and something else behind them that he couldn't quite put his finger on.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked, rubbing her hair gently.

(Y/n) nodded, willing her eyes to stay open after another wave of nausea hit her. "Yeah, I'm fine," she whispered. "I'm just tired."

Although he was unconvinced at her feeble attempt to convince him, he didn't push her. "Alright. How about I finish off dinner? You go lay down, babe."

"You shouldn't be standing up for long periods, Luke."

Luke shook his head. "I'll be fine. Go," he whispered.

(Y/n) pecked his cheek, bending down to pet Peaches. "Your daddy is just the best husband ever, isn't he, Peaches?"

Luke's laugh seemed to ease some of the tension in her head, but when she stood up, the world started to sway under her feet. Darkness danced around her vision as she tried to stay upright. Just before she succumbed to unconsciousness, she was able to breathlessly call out.

"Help," she muttered, causing Luke to whip around just in time to see her limp body falling to the floor.

His heart stopped beating. "(Y/n)!"

Reaching out for her, he cursed when he couldn't get there in time because of his leg. She landed with a thud on their hardwood floors, and he was thankful that her head didn't hit hard. Luke quickly slid down next to her, ignoring the pain in his leg and pulling her to sit up against his chest.

"(Y/n)!" he cried, rubbing her cheeks. "Baby, wake up. Come on!"

His eyes began to burn as he held back tears at (y/n)'s unconscious form in his arms. "Please wake up. Please."

A few moments later, her eyes fluttered open, and Luke let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He quickly wiped a tear that leaked out of his eye before she could see it.

Looking around them in confusion, she asks, "What happened?"

"Y-You passed out, (y/n/n). How are you feeling?"

"Dizzy," she responds, holding her head in her hands.

Luke scans her face. "What's really going on?"

With a sigh, she closed her eyes. "My migraines are back."

"(Y/n), why didn't you tell me?" he asks quietly, pulling her close to cradle her head on his chest.

"I just didn't think it was important," she answered, looking at the floor.

"It is important."

"Well, you're in so much pain from your leg and I just have a stupid headache."

Gently moving so he could face her, he put a finger under her chin to lift it. "(y/n)," he started, not breaking eye contact. "You are everything to me. Don't ever compare your pain to mine. Just because I'm hurting doesn't mean you have to always be okay. Remember what you always tell me?"

She nodded.

"It's okay to let people help you. To let me help you. So let me take care of you, please."

Sighing, she nodded before pecking his lips softly. "I love you, Luke."

"I love you, too, (y/n). Now let's get you to bed." He whispered, helping her up. "I would carry you if I could."

She weakly smiled at him, leaning on him for stability as he led her to their bedroom. "I know, commando. I know."

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xetswan · 3 months

Text

The Switch of Daylight- Pick Up

(Alice x Reader x Jasper)

Seven | Eight | Nine

I walked out of the house, panicked to say the least. What the fuck was going on? I slept through the night? It's day time.

Before the dreams it said something about being an incarnate for wolves. My dreams said nothing about that. Just showing my love for Jasper and Alice that they never even mentioned. Getting on my bike, I sat there for a moment before starting the engine. Thinking about everything that just happened. Should I call them?

Would they even want to speak with me? Would they pick up? Alice probably already saw this happening and if that's true, I think she'd care enough to warn me maybe? Right?

Shaking the thoughts away I start the engine, turning the bike around to speed out on the road. Weirdly getting a feeling of someone watching me. Glancing around, peeking through the woods. Animalistic eyes staring back at me. I think? I mean it could range from vampires to wolves obviously. If it wanted to attack it would've already that's all I know. Ignoring it for now might be the best for me.

Hopefully it's not the wrong move but who knows. Getting into the Rev, I practically almost forgot to put my kick stand up as I was in such a rush. Going from sleeping, dreaming, to now awake as nothing happened. I felt the stares as usual, having to ignore them like I always have. I rush up to Billy and Jacob's house.

Knocking repetitively. Not stopping until the door swings open. "Why are you knocking like that this early?!" I'm met with Billy in his wheel chair, his facial expression is worried and obviously alarmed. "I need you to answer some questions." I squeeze past him, into the house before he can even begin to say no.

"Well good morning to you too, [Name]." He sighs out.

"I'm sorry but I'm freaking out Billy and I have no one else to turn to." I sit down at his kitchen table, my face contorting, matching all the emotions I'm feeling.

"What's going on? Let's start there, hm?" He joins me at the table. I glance around. "No one's home right?" I fidget with my hands, my eyes darting around the house. "It's just me. Jake's with Bella. I'm surprised you didn't know." He informs me. "I was too busy sleeping to hear anything about that." I spit out.

"Sleeping?" His eyes widen.

"Yeah, yeah, that's what I needed to see you about. Sam said I'm an incarnate. From the God's or something. Which confused me because I thought your beliefs are the spirits, ancestors I mean. I've seen my past lives too. But I only have bits and pieces of my memories, but last night I fell asleep and then was like living those memories I've never seen before?" It all rolled off my tongue. Not having to breathe while explaining things is a curse within a blessing sometimes.

I look over at Billy to see his reaction but it's hard to read. His face was stern, as if he's heard of this before. "You were never meant to be a vampire, [Name]." He sighs. "You don't think I know that?" I exclaim, holding my head in frustration. "Incarnates are a wolf thing, I-I've never heard of one becoming a vampire..." He goes quiet, then moving his wheel chair to another room. I feel as though I should follow him but I stop myself, waiting for him to come back.

"There's really nothing I can explain but, you should've met someone from the Quileutes in your first life. Must've had one fall in love with you." He laughs, he comes back in with a book in his lap.

"I was in love with Jasper in my first life." I disagree with him. "I said one must've fallen in love with you. It didn't have to be the other way around, sweetheart." He opens the book, laying it on the table. He points to a section in the book. Unrequited love from an imprint.

"That's not possible." I cross my arms. "I was told when one imprints both parties can't control it, they both fall in love." I say as if he doesn't know his own Native stories. "Unless the love they have for another is stronger." He finishes the paragraph in the book. "And then once they pass they live another, their curse to turn into a wolf. None of your incarnates did so. It's never happened and it never will. I hope." He adds in the last part in a quiet tone. I tilt my head to the side.

"You hope?" I question.

"You'd be an even worse monstrosity than what you are now." He tells me, before I can question further or he can talk more the door opens. Our heads turn to see Sam standing there. I let out an exasperated groan, throwing my head back. "Nice to see you too." He comments.

"What do you need, Sam?" Billy asks, not in a harsh way. Just curious on why he's here.

"You had work for me to do. Remember?" He reminds the older man. "You've told her?" He then changes the subject, I just glare at him as he comes closer to us. "Yes, but-"

"Even the kiss part?" He cuts Billy off. My eyebrows raise. "Kiss?" I whisper, now scrunching my face in confusion, looking over at my dad's best friend who sighs, putting his head down for a moment. "It won't do any good, Sam. We don't know if that would work on her due to her... condition." Not very subtle but alright.

"It's worth a try, she should know." Sam says. "Hey, I'm still in the room. Please stop acting like I'm not." I stand up, causing Sam to take a tiny step back away from me, hands in the air.

"Tell me what it is." I demand. "[Name], please understand-"

"I can't understand what it is unless you tell me." I snap at him, growing irritated from not knowing what ever the hell they're not telling me. "Kissing a wolf could break whatever thing you have. Curse if you want to call it that. It forces an imprint onto you, but it turns you into a wolf, healing you from vampirism." Sam explains. "We don't know that." Billy interjects. "We won't know unless we try."

"No." I shake my head. They turn to me. "I'm not doing it. What would happen if it doesn't?" I look over at Billy. "Either... you'll become a wolf. Or, you'll be something else." He frowns.

"Something else?" I glance between him and Sam. "A hybrid, a dangerous, disgust monster. That should never exist." Billy's words are loud, strict and precise to attempt to explain how bad it is. "You'd have both teams against you for the rest of your existence." Billy closes the book.

"Has it existed before? How do we know-"

"We won't ever know." He snaps at me. My mouth closes. "You will not even attempt this." He points at me. "Billy-". Sam begins. "Don't start with me, Uley. You knew how I felt and still decided to bring it up. You knew." If looks could kill, Sam would be ashes.

"I won't do it." I swear to Billy. Sam seems disappointed. He should be. "Good, you didn't have a choice." Billy laughs dryly. "I have no intentions on trying to either." I tell him sincerely.

The room grows quiet after that, the tension in the air between the three of us growing thick. I wouldn't even be able to cut through it with a knife. I clear my throat. "I uh, thank you Billy for your help. I need to go back home before dad realizes I've left." I wave to him, taking slow steps out of the house.

I look up at Sam for a moment but refuse to acknowledge him as I walked out of the door. I headed back towards my bike, taking in all the information I just left with.

A hybrid? I was to be a wolf in one of my lives. I never was. I'm a vampire, but I was to be a wolf.

I can't become a hybrid.

Everyone will come after me?

His words flood in my head, repeating all over the place. I hold myself onto a tree as I stumble. Not able to comprehend everything. I want Jasper. I want Alice by my side.

I hear foot steps behind me, my poster straightens. "Get away." I growl. "[Name] please hear me out." Sam grabs my wrist but I rip it away, turning his way. "I said get away, Sam!" I step back from him.

"Just listen to me!" He shouts, I see steam emit off of him. I back away, shaking my head. "There's nothing to listen to." I rush to my bike, hurriedly turning it on and speeding off. Not even looking back.

Charlie wasn't home, which I was grateful. I needed time alone after everything. I slowly put my kickstand up after stopping my bike. Getting inside the house felt like a safe space immediately.

Nothing from the outside world can hurt me here. I hum softly. I glanced around at the mess of life. My dads drinks around the living room. The throw pillows and blankets a mess. And over in the kitchen there's some snack wrappers on the counter. A dirty plate on the table. I smile softly.

Then my eyes make contact with the phone on the wall. I think about my loves.

Their faces from my past lives flowing in my mind.

My body moves without me noticing. My hand lifting up to pick it up, and I'm punching in numbers in swift movements. The phone is ringing.

And ringing.

"Hello...." Her voice sounded clear, but then it goes into her voicemail. Alice didn't pick up.

She didn't pick up fifteen more times.

Jasper didn't either.

Neither did the rest of them as I tried multiple times each.

I felt myself going crazy. I wanted to slam the phone into the wall but I composed myself. Closing my eyes, I walked to my room. Continuing to try Alice and Jasper's phones specifically.

Over

And over

And over.

Masterlist

A&J M.L.

I am so sorry for the late post. I had a lot happen and I wasn’t able to type out my chapters.

Taglist: if you want to be added comment below!

@stevenandmarcslove

@steh-lar-uh-nuhs

@kisekihany

@aureliacorvina

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charmedreincarnation · 4 months

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hi i’m sorry for this small rant. i really hope you reply to it because i’m spiralling so bad. i have been listening to v powerful luckiest girl and get all your desires instantly forced subs and i had two really bad days and overall my life feels so shit and i feel like nobody gives a shit about me feel left out with my friends and am really regretting some past choices i have made as in subjects i chose to study. why do subs not work on me ever? i detach but subs just don’t work for me idk what should i do i want to enter the void and live my better/dream life but i keep failing and i’m so spiraling so hard rn. i am not even seeing small success i can’t even manifest my acne away or to grow a few inches how will i enter the void and magically change my life entirely. please help me out. how do i manifest or enter the void as soon as i can. i am being delululu living in 4d but yes ik if i am truly living in the end i shouldn’t have doubts but it’s been so many months when will i see results in my 3d. manifestion should be instant right. i’m sorry for my negativity i hope you have a great day

Hi love! I feel like any of this could be answered in another ask, but you seem really worried, so I'm going to answer it anyway!

First and foremost, you are allowed to have doubts. Just because you have doubts doesn't mean you're producing those thoughts. From a psychological perspective (which aligns with LOA), our thoughts are not entirely our own. This is a scientific truth, whether you believe in LOA or not. Scientists say that our thoughts are influenced by external factors such as our environment, upbringing, and the thoughts of others. Sound familiar? They also claim that we have the power to change our thoughts and create our own reality by consciously choosing the thoughts we entertain. So, just know that you're going to have doubts until the end, but as long as you categorize them as random thoughts and not your own beliefs, they don't matter! For example, if someone dressed as Chucky the doll jump-scared you and you started having "scary" thoughts about it, that doesn't mean you actually believe Chucky is real and coming to get you. You have psychological responses to certain things that have been ingrained and coded in you for a while now. What LOA does is help us intercept these false messages and reframe them as "useless" instead of messages we encode in our mind and assumption.

I've always been interested in psychology and neurology, and even though it doesn't directly relate to your question, it's important to mention that you do have a brain, and your brain is wired to act in certain ways. Once you're aware of why you're acting and believing certain things, it becomes way easier to understand that the 3D world is malleable. I really suggest reading books by authors like Joe Dispenza so you can understand yourself better. Also, watching YouTubers who explain anxiety and reading self-help books can provide helpful ways to manage your own anxiety.

The second thing is, if you don't believe in subliminals, I don't know why people do this, but if you don't have faith in something or assume it doesn't work for you, just use something you have a little faith in. For example, maybe you're more logical. You can read about brain waves and then listen to binaural beats for anxiety,manifesting, and faith. Have faith in it, because you'll understand and know that those waves genuinely change your brain's alignment. That's just one example, but subliminals are not the only type of audios out there. There are many other methods to explore.

Also, meditation is very helpful. Not just to reach the void, but do you know how many conscious thoughts we have in a day? On average, it is estimated that a person has around 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts per day. These thoughts can range from conscious, deliberate thoughts to automatic, repetitive thoughts. That doesn't even include the number of unconscious thoughts we have, which is probably 100k+. You constantly have these little things running around in your head, trying to keep you alive, keeping you repeating the same thought patterns, beliefs, and assumptions. You can't consciously control them most of the time, but your brain and mind are working overtime 24/7. It's not your fault, so that's why meditation can help you. Not just to reach the void, though you can tap into that using some form of meditation as well, but to clear your mind and then it’s there it will be better to affirm and believe you can do whatever you desire. If you're not truly embodying the desired state, which you're not because you sent this ask, do you think a few measly affirmations can counteract the hundreds of thousands of thoughts you've been having every day since birth, most of which you don't even know exist? Affirmations do work, but trust me, I've been where you're at and worse. This is not the state to solely rely on "miracle affirmations" because you won't believe them, and when something doesn't happen, you'll just want to give up and confirmation bias will make you subconsciously think, "Well, see? I knew it. It isn’t real" But in reality, your mind is just looking for proof to align with your negative beliefs.

I know you say you haven't manifested anything, but can you really think back to something you thought was a "coincidence" or something you didn't really ask for but it just appeared? We usually brush those off as just the world at play or a small world, but nope, that was you. Maybe you don't have clear skin or whatever your desire may be, but as you probably know, that's because you've put it on a pedestal compared to all the other "small" but great things you've manifested

I know you probably wanted me to tell you exactly what to do, but I genuinely don't know you the way you know yourself - your own self, mind, and behaviors. You know best, fr! I could have said anything I've said before, like imagination is the real reality, the 3D being malleable, if you can see and feel it you can manifest it, try SATs or lucid dreaming lalala. But I've learned that you know what you have to do. Sit and meditate to learn about yourself and your mind, and why you think what you think. What past experiences do you still hold onto, reliving them in your mind and creating assumptions that no longer serve you? They can still affect you, we are humans and emotions cling to us like bees to honey, and that's okay. But we need to start moving those experiences into the past and start creating with what we are now, which is the present. Any given moment is a time to say, 'Okay, this doesn't serve me anymore, and this does. I don't want this life anymore, I want this type of life,' and consciously start creating with those desires instead.

Acknowledge your doubts, they're just doubts, and they're really just an extension of life factors that have been slowly consuming your mind. You may have them, but as a god, do you have them? No. But as a human, you are influenced by them, and who cares? You know who you are and your power now, so if you disregard them, work around them. But I can't tell you what to do because I'm not you! I wholeheartedly believe that you will get through this because I have as well and the lows are just apart of your journey as the success as corny as it sounds. But when you do succeed I promise you’ll back to this movement and just be very happy you didn’t give up despite how hard it was 💝

#law of assumption #manifesation #manifesting #void state #my asks

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ddejavvu · 2 years

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Hi, I hope you’re doing good!

I would love to order some banana slices à la Aaron Hotchner with the Team teasing him for being a big softie.

Merci Beaucoup!

you are formally invited to ddejavvu's 10K dinner party, now serving second entrées

"Ice pack," Aaron plops the frozen mass onto the table in front of you, as if the word 'freezypak' didn't clue you in. You don't torment him, though, nodding thankfully and pressing it to the bruise on your head.

Getting whacked over the head with a shovel wasn't how you wanted to spend your day, but you suppose it was worth it in the grand scheme of things, because it led to the capture of your unsub.

"Does it hurt?" He peers concernedly at you, settling on the bench across from you. Derek, who he's sat next to, lifts one side of his headphones off of his ear, slyly listening in on your conversation.

"A bit, yeah." You wince as the ice pack burns against your skin, but keep it pressed to your injury, "I- I'm a little dizzy."

Perhaps saying the words queued your condition, but your head is spinning before you finish your last word. Your vision blurs, and your neck no longer supports your head, lolling forwards to send your head speeding towards the tabletop.

Aaron reaches a hand out in a second flat, cushioning your forehead as it drops against the table. You don't register his concerned repetition of your name, nor do you feel JJ patting your back beside you, but when you blearily open your eyes, Aaron's hands are cupping your cheeks, keeping you upright.

"Can you see me?" HIs face focuses in your blurry eyes, a worried frown.

You nod, his fingers sliding softly against your cheeks, "Yeah. I'm- I'm tired."

"Do not fall asleep." He squeezes your cheeks, though he doesn't seem to have meant to by the way he lets his grip go lax again, "We need to get you medical care immediately. Stay awake, Y/N."

"I can't," You shake your head, eyes slipping shut, "I- 'need sleep."

"No- stop!" Aaron's thumbs prod at the skin beneath your eyes, prompting them open, "Open your eyes. Look at me, please."

You use the dwindling bit of your energy to stare at him, your eyes sliding in and out of focus as you try locking onto his features. There's his stern frown, the worry welling in his eyes, and his narrow, thin nose.

"I'm tired." You whine, head heavy and brain fuzzy, "Please, I won't- I won't die, I just want to sleep."

Emily snorts at your reassurances, passing you a cold water bottle from the fridge, "Drink this, it'll wake you up."

Aaron gently lets go of your cheeks, and without his support you nearly fall. But you manage to rest your head against the back of your seat, eyes blinking blearily. He takes the water for you, uncapping it and holding it up to your lips.

"Jesus, Aaron," Rossi pipes up from the seat across the aisle from you, "Don't you think maybe she can drink her water all by herself?"

"She can't even hold her head up," Aaron snaps, glaring daggers at Rossi who shares a wide-eyed glance with Reid. Aaron's gaze tracks the expression, but Reid doesn't relent at his boss's intense staredown, his smirk only grows wider.

Your lips wrap weakly around the spout of the water bottle, and you let Aaron tip it so that water pours down your throat. It opens your eyes a little wider, gets your heart pumping a bit faster, and you smile lazily at Hotch when he caps the bottle again.

"Thanks," Your voice is breathless and barely-there, but from where your knee is touching his beneath the table, you feel him tense.

"Of course," He nods, reaching for your hand and squeezing it briefly. You want to squeeze back, but you can't manage to work up the strength, knocking your knee with his under the table instead. He smiles, the corner of his lips pulling up ever-so-slightly, "Just tell me if you need anything, okay?"

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