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pastorralffriedrichs · 4 months

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Straight from Hope Ministries Sanctuary.

Blessings to you all. Another beautiful day given to us from above. I want to share this devotion this early morning with you

God wants you to change and start living His way. He reveals three essential steps to help you start and continue in this new life, steps requiring deep consideration and purposeful action today.

Give up things that waste your time and dedicate as much time as possible to your relationship with God. Don’t let it slip away with no direction or purpose!

One of the most difficult things for human beings to do is to change.

That’s not to say that people don’t want to change. Just look around. How many people do you know who are dissatisfied with something in their lives? How many people do you know want to change things like their weight, their hair color, their jobs?

Even beyond those types of things, how many people do you know who want to change something substantive in their lives, like developing a better attitude or spending more quality time with their loved ones?

To find meaningful change in our lives we need God to direct us, so we can walk through life with purpose.

Even with the best of intentions, change eludes us. That’s because when it comes to true, positive, lasting change, the only real path forward is God and His purpose for our lives.

Here’s the amazing part, though: If you’re reading and understanding this, God is inviting you to change your life in incredible ways!

How do we get on with making those changes? The apostle Paul wrote an entire section of Scripture about three essential elements to true, lasting spiritual change.

These three things will help us start changing our lives. Now is the time that God has given you and me to find a new direction in life and begin to follow Him!

Walk circumspectly—watch where you’re going!

The first step toward meaningful change in life is this: We must walk circumspectly. Paul writes in Ephesians 5:15, “See that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise.” Or, to paraphrase: “Don’t meander. Don’t just drift around. Don’t aimlessly walk through life.” He says we have to walk with purpose.

“Circumspectly” isn’t a word we use often, so it can be hard to grasp what Paul was saying. The Greek word here is an accounting term referring to precision and careful counting. It’s all about making sure that we walk—we live—with precise and calculated movements.

Walking is something commonly done every day. It’s a metaphor here, as throughout Scripture, for our manner of life—how we live. Considering the analogy, let’s switch our perspective a bit. Have you ever tried walking or moving about in the dark? It’s not easy, is it? There are pitfalls and dangers when you can’t see where you’re going.

Now think about the world we live in today in spiritual terms. This is a dark world. Paul is warning us here that we can’t walk aimlessly in this dark world. We have to pay attention and stay focused on what we’re doing!

A little earlier in this section, in Ephesians 5:8, Paul writes, “Once you were in darkness.” Before God starts to work with us and open our minds to His truth and His way of life, it’s our natural state to walk in darkness. Paul completes the thought in this verse by telling us to “walk as children of light” (emphasis added throughout).

So we need to ask ourselves a big question: Am I still just meandering around, stumbling in darkness? Or am I walking with wisdom as a child of the light?

How to walk as children of light

So how do we walk as children of light? We do that by having purpose and direction in our lives and making sure that God’s purpose and direction become our purpose and direction. When we learn to “walk circumspectly,” we see that this relates to our everyday habits and actions. It’s about how we live life.

Proverbs 14:15 speaks to this idea. It says, “The simple believe anything, but the prudent give thought to their steps” (New International Version).

In other words, when you’re ready to change your life and live according to the way God wants you to go, when you’re ready to completely surrender to Him and begin living according to His instructions and laws as spelled out in the Bible, you’re going to consider very carefully where you’re going and how and where you step. Until God starts working with us, we’re not concerned with where and the way we’re walking. Those God is calling, however, must live and walk with purpose and precision.

Through the prophet Jeremiah, God tells us where we need to get our direction in life: “It is not in man who walks to direct his own steps” (Jeremiah 10:23). He’s telling us that if we count on our own thinking, our own reasoning, our own logic, we’re going to be in trouble. That’s why we so often see sincere efforts to change fail—they leave God out of the picture. If you’re serious about change, you have to make God the center and goal of the process. You have to believe Him and start doing what He says!

In summary, the first step in starting to change our lives is to walk circumspectly—that is, live with purpose and allow God to direct our steps.

Redeem the time—spend your time wisely!

The apostle Paul follows up with a second essential requirement for making the big, important changes in life. He writes next in Ephesians 5 that Christians need to be focused on “redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” (Ephesians 5:16).

When we look at the world around us and the trouble, heartache and tragedy we see, it would be hard to argue with Paul that “the days are evil.” It’s a simple fact of life that we live in an evil world. All you have to do is turn on the news and see all the terrible things that are going on.

But Paul isn’t just concerned with knowing that the world is evil. He points us to something we need to do. We need to realize that the time is now to make the big changes in life.

You know the old saying, “There’s no time like the present.” That’s so true. When it comes to making the big, important changes in life, we must not put it off. We can’t afford to wait. We need to “redeem the time.” But just what does that mean?

Thayer’s Greek Lexicon says the Greek word translated “redeem” here can mean “to buy up” or, in context here, “to make wise and sacred use of every opportunity for doing good.” That’s an amazing concept, isn’t it?

It’s incredible that we have the ability to make wise choices with our time and dedicate it to a sacred purpose.

Paul is saying that we have to give up the time spent on pointless pursuits to gain time for pursuing worthwhile and lasting goals. The point is to use our time wisely.

How many times have you felt like your time was taken up with all sorts of pursuits you didn’t even find worthwhile? So often life can turn into busywork and just marking things off our to-do lists. God says we have to buy our way out of that in a spiritual sense and start making better and more productive use of our time.

That’s not to say that we simply ignore all of the normal things in life that take up our time. We go to school, we hold down a job, we start and raise a family, we retire, we hope our health holds up, and eventually we die. That’s a normal life pattern. All of those things are natural, and most are good. But is there a way that we can live a normal life and make sure that we’re redeeming the time we have?

Is there a way to seize those opportunities and realize that now is the time to change our lives and follow and obey God fully? That’s what Paul is saying in Ephesians—we can live normal lives and still use the time we have wisely to honor God.

God is challenging us to grab every opportunity. He’s challenging us to use our time to make the big changes and use every opportunity to grow. We can use our time wisely as we build our families and as we rear our children to know and follow God’s way.

When we redeem the time, we make a commitment that we’re not going to give up on the precious time that we have to spend with God in prayer and Bible study. This needs to be an unalterable commitment. Often it means that we have to sacrifice in some areas. At times we have to say no to activities like watching TV or browsing the Internet. Those things aren’t bad in and of themselves, but we have to place God much higher on our list of priorities.

It’s so critical that we have a zeal and passion for using our time as wisely and as profitably as possible. When we get serious about changing our lives, we’re going to take responsibility and be accountable for what we do and how we spend our time. When we change to align our values with God’s values, we start redeeming our time and dedicating it to the sacred purpose of developing a close relationship with God. We should get excited about the idea of making every hour count and taking advantage of every opportunity!

To recap the second essential element to real change: Redeem the time! Give up things that waste your time and dedicate as much time as possible to your relationship with God. Don’t let it slip away with no direction or purpose!

Know the will of the Lord—understand your purpose!

Being serious about making the big changes happen doesn’t stop there. The apostle Paul gives us a third essential step to accomplishing God’s will for our lives.

Paul writes next in Ephesians 5:17, “Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is”. He says that if we’re going to be serious about making changes in our lives, we need to understand God and understand what He wants for us.

I think it’s fair to say that “the will of the Lord” is like our roadmap for life. It’s what shows us how to navigate our way through life purposefully so that we’re not just groping about blindly. The will of the Lord tells us where we’re going and how to get there.

You wouldn’t take a big road trip without a map or GPS. Likewise we shouldn’t tackle our life’s journey without direction and guidance. Without the knowledge of God’s will, we’re without a map and without a guide.

Knowing God’s will isn’t about knowing what job God wants us to have or whom we should marry. It’s not about Him giving us an easy answer for every question or problem we have in life. Knowing God’s will is about something much bigger than that. It ultimately ties in with the very purpose of God for us individually and for all humanity.

When we truly understand the will of the Lord, our daily lives are going to change. Our overall outlook will be completely different when we know what God is doing with us and others. When we know the will of the Lord, we have instruction—a roadmap—for how to navigate through life.

Have you ever thought about what it must be like to navigate a minefield? It doesn’t seem like something you could do successfully without a lot of instruction and training.

The first thing on entering a minefield is to properly scope out the situation—or, put another way, think before you act. You have to look for signs of mines that are close by. One reason mines are so dangerous is that they’re hidden.

Isn’t that true of the spiritual dangers in life? They may not be obvious. After all, we’re told that Satan appears as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:4). Something might look and feel right, but it might actually be a spiritual landmine. That’s why it’s so important to know God’s purpose and will—so that we can recognize what is good and what is not!

Just as entering a minefield without knowing what you’re getting into is dangerous, so trying to navigate life without the knowledge of God’s will and direction for your life is spiritually dangerous. If we’re not educated in God’s way, we’re much more likely to be at risk.

The third essential, then?

Understand what God is doing in your life and what His incredible ultimate purpose is for you. You’re very special to God, and He wants you to understand that and be motivated by it.

Your wonderful future as God’s child

So we need to ask: What is God’s will? What is His purpose for our lives?

Let’s go back to the apostle Paul. He gives us a hint as to what the answer is earlier in Ephesians 3, writing about God’s “eternal purpose which He accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Ephesians 3:11). That’s a big hint as to what God’s will and purpose for our lives is. It’s something that shows us how we should walk and why we should use our time wisely. God has an eternal purpose in mind for us.

Paul includes another big hint as to what the core of that purpose is in referring to God as the One “from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named” (Ephesians 3:15). The incredible and inspiring truth—and the big reason we need to make changes in life now—is that we have the amazing opportunity to be a part of God’s family.

Are you starting to see it?

Are you starting to catch the vision of what God’s will for your life is? Are you starting to realize what His wonderful purpose is in your life? It’s so incredible and inspiring to know that God Himself wants you to be a part of His family—for all eternity!

Returning to Ephesians 3, Paul fills in the remaining blank: “. . . To know the love of Christ, which passes knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:19). God is calling you to understand His will and to recognize that His ultimate purpose is for you, me, and all humanity to be His divine children in His family for all eternity. You’re being called out of the darkness of this world to walk with purpose toward that goal.

Don’t wait—change your life starting today

Of course, knowing is one thing. Doing is another. So here’s the big question I want to ask you. It’s part of the core message of the Bible. Does knowing and understanding God’s purpose for you motivate you to change anything in your life?

Knowing your ultimate purpose and having God reveal His plan to you should change everything! It should change every step that you take. It should cause you to walk circumspectly, taking every step into consideration and living every day with that great purpose in mind.

It should change how you look at and use your time. That level of change requires allowing God to be Lord and Master over every aspect of your life. It means there aren’t any areas of life you hold back from God. It means you dedicate enough of your time to prayer and Bible study and not allow outside distractions to get in your way. It means you diligently study His Word to find out how He expects you to live, and then you do it.

Part of God’s intent as we walk His way of life is that we redeem the time that we find ourselves wasting and dedicate it instead to living according to God’s purpose.

When you understand God’s purpose for your life, it should give you a sense of urgency that motivates you to change—not later, not tomorrow, not sometime, but beginning right now. God doesn’t leave us powerless in this effort. He’s given us direction and a path to follow to reach our ultimate purpose.

And as we negotiate through life, if we watch our step and walk with purpose, avoid dangerous spiritual pitfalls, and allow God’s direction to guide us, we’ll be led down that right path. We’ll find our destination. We’ll live out His purpose.

But we must not wait to start. We need to be on that path right now. The time is now to make God the highest priority and to follow His way!

The time is now to take advantage of the wonderful opportunity God is offering you at this very moment. The time is now to change and make God’s purpose your purpose. Don’t put it off any longer. God is calling you to change your life—right now

May God always bless you and may you all go through life with Jesus Christ in your life

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yoongsisbae · 3 years

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Caught! House of Cards - Chapter 3

You joined a website to make some quick and easy cash. Men paying to look at you, harmless fun, right? Little did you know how dangerous the members of House of Cards were. Watch out! Houses built with cards come tumbling down…

OT7 yandere!BTS x reader / Namjoon x Taehyung x reader this chapter

Oh, I was dying writing this chapter so I think I wrote it well? Heh there’s a lot going on, so you have been warned lol. Also hope to post HOAL soon, that is if BTS would stop attacking me with all these sexy bad boy photoshoots that scream C!HOC mens. Sorry, but can you really blame me? :(

Warnings: 18+ dark themes, reader manipulation, scary yandere behavior, voyeur, masturbation, lots of drinking and drunkenness, dubcon, dry humping on the dance floor lol, this is pretty filthy, all of them are horny, dom!Namjoon, dom!Taehyung, Tae’s a lot, shibari, bondage, blindfold, rough sex, edging, multiple orgasms, threesome, degradation, Yoongi continues to be a meanie, slut shaming, extreme regret for reader that could be triggering I think, tell me if I need to tag anything else

PSA: to reiterate, this is a yandere fic, this is all fantasy, this is scary, no one actually wants this to happen to them irl. But I’m also here for you if you wanna enjoy some hot fictional villains, alright? I got u boo.

Word Count: 8.7k

Playlist: Rotimi - Push Button Start // Shenseea - Blessed (with Tyga) // ROSALIA - Con Altura // Sean Paul - Go Down Deh // Afro B - Drogba // Aya Nakamura - Pookie // DJ Nelson - PAPI //J Balvin - Amarillo // SUPA NYTRO - Tik Pon Cock // Paris Lain - Way (links here)

---

“P-please...”

“Please what?”

“Please let me cum, Daddy.”

He groans in your ear. “Hmm no.” He pulls his fingers out of you, you hold onto the banister as your orgasm escapes you. Your body shakes with need.

“You’ll come find me later tonight, won’t you, baby girl?” His warmth leaves your body, when you turn around no one is there.

---

Your legs are still shaking as you make your way downstairs. You tried not to think about the slick between your thighs as you descended each step, or think about RM’s warm breath against your ear. No, you won’t think about his deep voice that makes you shiver still, or the way he massaged your neck like he had done it a hundred times before...out of all the weird fucked up things you thought could happen tonight, never ever did you expect to meet RM again.

He reminded you of all the reasons why you allowed yourself to fall deeper into that kind of exhibitionistic lifestyle as a carded member. The money was good, but the sweetest rewards were corporal. The saccharine praise your admirers would give you became addicting. You even became close to some of them, for an extra fee.

What was it your old school counselor would say? It wasn’t about the destination, the real reward was the friends you made along the way. Except your new friends told you all their dirty filthy desires and watched as you would get off for them. You learned quickly your sexual appetite was ravenous, the more you indulged the worse it got. You had been starved for attention for so long, quarantine only amplifying your loneliness, and the dark site fed you well.

RM also reminded you of all the reasons why you left. You still don’t understand how you fell so deep so fast, let digital become physical when you promised yourself you wouldn’t. The House Rules made the descent into filth almost inevitable. During your only experience inside The House, you had been shown truths you didn’t want to face, depravities you enjoyed. After that night you went home, showered away your sins until your skin burned, logged out and never logged back in. It was the best way to end your addiction to House of Cards, end it cold turkey.

You were not prepared for this again. You were not prepared for how much you craved it.

---

The party became wild. Your body now hyper aware of everything after RM worked you up so skillfully and denied you any release. The music reverberates throughout the halls, the beats of the bass clashes with the pounding in your head. The smell of drugs and sex assaults your nostrils, and every time a dancer bumps into you, your body remembers RM’s touch.

So many bodies around you and you feel all alone like an outcast. Where’s Yoongi? You're beginning to miss that annoying smirk and the overconfident man attached to it, you could use some of that confidence right now.

As the room spins around you, your eyes find the place where you had been standing. You’re disappointed it’s empty. Not that you knew what RM looked like, but you feel like you’d recognize him as soon as you saw him, a man like that would look like walking sin.

You shift your upward gaze to the gold ropes hanging from the ceiling, eyes traveling down until you meet the glistening body of a woman. She’s so beautiful it makes you ache, arms secured behind her back, her leg extended and tied high, her other leg bent and pressed to her side and her spread open for everyone to see.

You play with the pendant around your neck, and you can’t help but imagine yourself in her position, tied up for everyone to see, for Yoongi to watch. You’re soaking. You need a drink.

---

“Hey,” you bump into Yoongi’s side as you sit down, grabbing his whisky glass and downing what’s left. The burning liquid makes you grimace, face scrunching up in distaste.

He pulls the glass from your grip, looking you up and down, sharp eyes narrowing, “Where have you been?”

“I got lost.” His arm snakes around your waist. His touch feels good, you don’t want to admit how much your body yearns for more, wants to be wanted. “Where are Jimin and Hobi?”

“Dancing,” Taehyung interjects as he gets closer to you, offering you another glass of champagne. You take it gratefully, sipping on the sweet liquid, anything to numb the ache you feel inside.

His eyes sparkle as he scrutinizes you up close, examining your dark makeup and tight dress. He wants to smear the red lipstick on your lips with his fingers, and his mouth, and his cock. He wants to stain your pretty black dress with his cum, let the milky white fluid drip all over the black silky fabric, between your breasts-

“I’m sorry, what is your name again?”

You ask him so innocently, Taehyung can forgive you for forgetting. Jungkook on the other hand, silently simmers with rage, especially when Yoongi smirks at him, sitting pressed to your side like a lover would.

“Taehyung,” The man gives you a big wide smile, “that's Seokjin,” he points to the tall man who keeps his distance, “and this,” he hits Jungkook’s chest and pulls him into a headlock, “is Jungkook!” Taehyung leans in to whisper in your ear, “a big fan.”

Your eyes go wide, did you hear him correctly? You watch the two play fight. Jungkook punches his older friend in the side a bit harder than he was expecting, earning a yell from Taehyung. They act cute, you think, Jungkook looks too innocent, you can’t believe he had watched you in his free time.

Hoseok and Jimin find their way back into the group. “Y/n, you’re back! Yoongi was about to send out a search party for you.” Yoongi rolls his eyes, and you lean your chin onto your palm, raising your eyebrows at him, trying to hide your smile at the way they tease him.

“Is that so?” His fingers pinch the flesh of your back at your retort, making you squirm at the ticklish sensation. When you try to pull his hand away, he takes the opportunity to intertwine your fingers together, pulling you firmly to his side.

You look down at Yoongi’s hand in yours, resting on your hip. Without the alcohol cursing through your veins you might have pushed him off you, but instead you sit buzzed and docile. He acts so possessive of you in front of the others, it makes your heart race. “Well I’m here now.”

“I’ll cheers to that!” Jimin fills everyone’s drinks. 7 glasses clang together and they cheer, making you giggle as you down the glass. One cheers becomes two, and then another bottle comes, until you're welcoming back that hazed state of mind that feels so freeing. The background fades away and the booming music around you becomes muffled as you try your best to focus on the conversation, until you realize you’re in Yoongi’s lap, his veiny hands dancing around your exposed thigh. He says something you can’t hear, so you tilt your head back, resting on his shoulder, whining out a slurred, “what!”

“You’re having too much fun.” He suppresses the urge to move his fingers higher, instead tracing lazy circles into your leg, making you twist in his lap, lips parting as you enjoy the sensation. Your body feels heavy from inebriation, so you lean your weight onto him more, focused on his cold rings against your warm skin.

You move your head closer to his. “You wanted to bring me here, right?” you laugh, and you swivel your body against him, grinding into his lap to the tempo of the music. Yoongi notices the others' heated stares, so he shifts his leg, pressing his hands into your thighs, opening your legs wider, and you’re too drunk to notice or care.

Yoongi tries to hold onto his thinning composure, how many times had he thought of you like this? So receptive and needy in his arms. He enjoys your torturous hip rolls, reveling in the fact that the sight tortures his audience even more. But you’re not really paying attention to that, your body only responding to how the music beat hits so well, his growing erection encouraging you to keep rubbing up against him like a cat in heat.

“Y/n, let's go dance!” Hoseok calls out to you over the music. His request pulls you from your trance. You sit up, shaking the clouded haze from your mind.

“Dance? Okay!” You let Hoseok pull you to your feet, stumbling slightly into him.

You turn to Yoongi, “You don’t mind, do you?” you ask, ready to start a fight. He glares at you. You sway on your feet and glare back. Such a brat, he thinks, you’ll just have to be taught a lesson later. Yoongi picks up his whisky and waves you off.

---

The dance floor is hot and alive with writhing bodies. You let Hoseok roll his hips into you from behind, your own hips following his movements. His toned arms lock around you, holding you, as he pulls your body lower and lower, until you’re crouched to the floor, your bodies connecting again and again as he rubs his hardening bulge into your ass to the beat.

It feels so so good, his warm body on you, seeking pleasure from one another. Every roll and buck helps to release the frustration RM did to you.

Hoseok’s hands pull your dress higher so you can spread your knees wider. He holds the bunched up fabric to your core to keep what’s left of your modesty, and your arms reach behind you to hook around his neck to keep yourself steady.

Hoseok is such a good dancer, masterfully guiding your loose body. You pull and push each other along to the sensual music, shifting your weight against your combined center of gravity as your bodies heat up in each other’s embrace.

Hoseok moves the hair from your neck away, blowing air on the back of your neck. His hand cups your breast, fondling you out in the open, “You like when I do this to you, don’t you Dahlia?” You’re too drunk to catch the pseudonym he uses.

You close your eyes focusing on his hands groping your body, your fingers fisting into his hair, pulling him closer, and his tongue licks off the sweat on your neck. Hoseok knows all the ways to leave you delirious with lust, hands running up and down your body, massaging your curves and leading your hips to meet his. If he’s making you feel this good with your clothes on, you can only imagine how amazing he’d be in bed, hips rolling against you as he fills you up with his stiff cock...

You’re so focused on Hoseok you don’t realize another body moving closer to you, another pair of hands on you, until Taehyung presses himself into your front.

The music fills your head, the dirty words being sung encouraging you to release all your inhibitions. Your arms reach out to run up Taehyung’s abdomen, up and up his chest, loving the feel of his muscles under your fingers.

He places your arms around his neck as he moves forward, his leg slotting between yours. With Hoseok grinding against your back and Taehyung rubbing against your front, you feel like you’re going to combust. The crowd around you is a blur, but everything about them feels so solid, so hard against you. Caged between them, you submit to every caress, every touch from both men.

Taehyung holds the back of your head to keep your eyes on him as Hoseok leaves open mouth kisses on your shoulder. Taehyung’s thumb caresses your cheek, “You’re so beautiful.” his mouth slides across your jaw, under your ear, licking and nibbling at your lobe, giving you goosebumps, “You’re the most beautiful woman here.”

You place your finger over his mouth pushing him away, too embarrassed to hear more, but your hips can’t help but push into him at the praise.

“Come with me,” he pulls you away from Hoseok, his friend winking at him behind your back, and you foolishly follow him through the sea of dancing bodies.

---

Pulling you into a dark corner, he cages you in before you can protest. Lips finding your neck, hooking a finger under your choker, pulling up, forcing your neck to tilt so he can reach more skin. Even if you want more, you still have some sense left in you to know letting Yoongi’s friend do this to you in front of everyone is a bad idea. “W-wait. Yoongi will-”

Taehyung’s arm slams into the wall. The noise startles you into silence. It’s Yoongi, always Yoongi. What about him? He steadies his breathing after noticing your wide eyes.

“Y/n, do you know who I am?” He leans onto the wall hovering over you, dark eyes peering down at you as he waits for your answer.

You feel your stomach drop under his intimidating gaze. “Should I know who you are?”

He answers your question with another question, “Do you know who Yoongi is? Do you really have no idea?” His interrogation takes you aback.

“He’s one of my...v-viewers...”

“Yes, who? You never thought to ask, baby?” Taehyung looks at you so accusingly, you feel ashamed that you can’t answer him.

“Who is he?” You ask.

He smiles, a twisted grin that makes you feel uneasy. Eyes lighting up darkly once his suspicions were proved right.

“How about this, since we both have so many unanswered questions, why don’t we play a game? I’ll answer one of your questions and then you answer one of mine. I’ll even let you go first.” His playful demeanor is back, fingers playing with the ends of your hair.

“Who are you?”

Taehyung smiles wide. You asked the right question. “I go by V.”

What? “You’re V?”

---

You log into the House of Cards website, open your account to a litany of unread messages. Your eyes skim through them, and one catches your eye. It’s V, the second highest donator from the other night’s stream.

V: you looked so beautiful the other night. I hope to see another broadcast soon...for next time?

V sent you an eighty dollar donation and a link to a lingerie set: pink lace, a sheer see-through pattern on the cups with a matching lace thong and garter belt.

You’ve bought lingerie for men before, for then boyfriends on your anniversaries or Valentine’s day dates, but you’ve never had a man buy you lingerie before. With shipping you’ll still have money left over, so you decide to add some more things in your basket to surprise him for being such a generous donor. It’s not because you had enjoyed his compliments the most during your stream, no. You found a cute pair of thigh high socks and some stick on rhinestones, coming up with a plan to get V’s attention. You squeal once the order goes through, ‘time to arts and craft in this bitch.’

You open his message again, fingers hovering over the keyboard, what should you say? Should you make it sound sexy or cute? ‘C’mon y/n, just flirt.’

Dahlia: Thank you, V. I will wear it for my next broadcast. Just for you sexy <3

Ew ew. No. Before pressing enter you delete the last sentence.

Dahlia: Thank you, V. I will wear it for my next broadcast. See you soon ;)

You go through all your messages, in a much better mood than you’ve been in a long time. You bop your head to the music that flows through your speakers in your living room while coming up with different replies to each new viewer.

It feels good to be stress free, you think, while sipping on cup ramen because you’re still waiting until your earnings clear your account to buy groceries. You’ve managed to answer every message when a new notification dings. V attached a picture.

V: I can’t wait.

Holy... A picture of a shirtless man from the neck down pops up. He’s not overly muscular, but he’s lean and toned, with defined pecs and v-line. Mmm. ‘V’ indeed. His jeans are unbuttoned. His legs spread wide, as if he were inviting you to sit on his lap.

You’re being catfished, you surmise. This man has to be using someone else’s pictures. Or he has a face only a mother could love. Either way, you’ll play with this fantasy. it’s not like you’ll actually ever meet in real life.

So you decide to play along, it’s not like you had work to go to, or anything to do really. Locked up in your tiny home alone and slowly going stir crazy would lead to some unfortunate decisions for you. One of the worst, allowing V to get so close to you.

Abandoning your snacks, you grab your laptop and run to the bedroom, jumping on your bed. Your laptop opens to another risque photo, his jeans zipped even lower. Hand grabbing a very defined bulge resting inside his pants leg. Well fuck.

Dahlia: is that really you?

V: yes baby

V: I wish you were here with me right now. I would make you feel so good, just like you deserve.

V: How about you, am I turning you on?

You clench your legs together instinctively.

Dahlia: you are.

V: are you touching yourself?

Should you lie? You could. But the pictures and his words are doing something to you, you feel jitters and a quick pace and a throbbing core. Suddenly you have an idea.

Dahlia: why don’t you see for yourself?

You create a private room, aim your camera down, mirroring the same angle in V’s picture and send the link to him. You pull the front of your sundress down to show more cleavage and the hem up to show more leg, and you wait.

There’s a notification: ‘1 new viewer.’

V: you look so pretty, you look like a doll

V: I wish I was there.

“Yeah? What would you do to me?”

V: I would spread your legs

You spread your legs at his words. Your stream plays in Taehyung's bedroom, he watches intently, and when your panties come into view he pulls his jeans down to his thighs freeing his hard erection, slowly stroking himself to the sight of your body.

V: fuck, so good baby. being so good for me.

V: I would take off your panties. slowly

You follow his commands and slowly remove your underwear. You like being told what to do, you imagine he’s on the bed with you, telling you everything, guiding your pleasure.

V: touch yourself for me

V: you’re wet already? how cute

V: that’s a good girl, just like that

V: imagine it’s me. my fingers stuffed inside of you, giving you everything you want

V: you’re mine and mine only

V: you’re going to be mine to kiss and fuck. I’ll take care of you baby doll, make you cum all over my fingers. You want that too?

V: you're so pretty baby, you like putting on a filthy show for me? desperate little girl

V: open your legs wider

V: doing so well for me, stay just like that. you’re driving me crazy

V: cum for me

You pulse, moaning out loud, reaching your high. When your lust filled haze clears you don’t feel dirty like before, you feel good. Even better when V sends you another eighty dollar donation.

Taehyung played sweet and affectionate very well. When talking to other House members you’d try your best to keep things as vague as possible, but sometimes you’d let certain things slip with V, and he always listened so well. Shit, he treated you better than your ex. He’d send you sweet messages, gifts, and the hottest body shots. He would do that often, it made you needy for more affection. He was a part of a small group of viewers that you’d offer special private streams to. Little did you know your carefree playdates were Taehyung’s obsessions.

---

Taehyung feels a special kind of gratification at the way you gawk at him, stunned into silence. “Now my turn,” Taehyung’s expression goes from playful to serious in an instant, “Why are you here with Yoongi?”

You swallow, this was V all along. You teetered between happiness and unease, you remembered all the sweet memories you had with him, but this man was still a stranger to you. He keeps staring at you, is this how he looked watching you through the computer screen? Fuck, your imagination could not have dreamed up a sexier man. Oh right, he is waiting for your answer.

You explain to him what happened, Yoongi recognizing you at your job, the agreement you made with him afterwards. Taehyung moves from hovering over you to standing by your side. He listens intently as his eyes scan the crowd. You watch the dancers as you sober up, observing the debauchery you had just been a part of. Taehyung hums as you finish your story.

“Who is-” Taehyung doesn’t let you finish, his eyes staring at the second floor’s balcony. “You looked like you enjoyed yourself. You looked so pretty up there, with my friend’s fingers inside you. You were being such a cute little slut.” His eyes roll back inside his head and he opens his mouth sighing.

He saw you. Did the others- “Did Yoongi see?!” you pull on his arm to get him to focus on you.

“No, he didn’t, just me. My turn!”

You felt tricked, using your question up already.

He turns to face you, leaning his side against the wall. You can't help but notice how he stares at you like he’s undressing you with his eyes, gaze traveling down your body and pausing at every place your skin shows, your cleavage and your thighs. “He really worked you up, you looked so guilty when you came back,” Taehyung’s teasing tone back again, “I wouldn’t be surprised if Yoongi suspected something.”

Your eyes go wide with worry. “I’m willing to keep that secret for you if...” he bites his lip and leans in whispering, “I bet you’re still wet too. Can I have a taste?”

“R-right now?”

“Yes. That’s my turn again! And I’m waiting for my answer.” He gets closer to you, pressing up against you again, his hands brushing against your thigh. You look around, how far away are you from the crowd? How far away are you from Yoongi?

His lips brush against your temple as he leans his jaw against your forehead. “No one will see. Put your hands back on my shoulder, c’mon baby, be good for me.” His body blocks you from everyone’s view.

His head in your hair, taking a long inhale, breathing in your scent, Taehyung can’t get enough of you. Your shaky arms obey him, laying loosely on top of his broad shoulders. You lay your head on his chest, even if his words come out smooth, his heart is racing as he moves quickly between your bodies, dipping his long fingers inside you. You try to bite back a moan, but it feels too good.

Taehyung feels like he’s going to burst. You’re so wet, dripping all over his hand. He tries to fight his urges, there’s so many things he wants to do to you. Your soft whimpers sound so beautiful, so much better in person. You’re his to play with, all his.

He groans, pushing you hard against the wall. He looks like he’s going to devour you, your body tenses and you clench around his fingers. It only encourages him on. You grip his shoulders as he drives his hand upward, fingers pushing into you deeply as you fight against gravity, forced to stand on your tiptoes, struggling against him as his mouth attacks your neck, biting down hard. It’s too rough, too fast. “Tae-V-stop!”

His entire body stills against you, except for his fingers, teasing you still as they steadily press around inside your walls. You try to come to your senses, but everything about him unravels you.

He whispers against your forehead. “Last round, baby doll.” His voice raspy and breathing heavy as he holds himself back from tearing the clothes off your body. “One more question for each of us. I know where RM is, do you want to know?”

'RM,' who told you to find him, and V, who knows where. You gasp and nod your head, waiting but Taehyung smiles down at you in silence, fingers sliding out of you, making you whimper and grip the wall for support when he finally gives you space. He stays quiet as he brings his fingers to his mouth, licking the wetness off his palm.

Your legs feel like jello, your body buzzes with each shameless lick as you watch him. You swallow the saliva accumulating in your mouth, pushing the lump in your throat down. You know what he wants. You played right into his trap, and the worst part is you want it too.

“Where is he?”

---

“If you think you’re going to keep her all to yourself you’re in for a rude awakening!” Jungkook grits out.

Yoongi sits quietly with his arms folded as Jungkook starts hurling accusations at him. Jin and Hoseok try to calm the youngest down, but it’s no use.

He grabs Yoongi’s collar, the action making Yoongi finally snap, and without warning Yoongi punches him squarely in the face. Yoongi had taken advantage of his friends holding Jungkook back and distracting him, satisfied when the young man recoils, stumbling back.

Before he can really lose it, Hoseok and Jimin drag Jungkook away, as the youngest screams all the ways he’s going to make Yoongi pay, not even aware of the blood leaking from his nose. Jin pulls Yoongi away in the opposite direction, “We need to talk.”

Jin walks Yoongi outside so they can both get some fresh air and clear their heads.

“He needs to learn not to disrespect his elders,” Yoongi mutters, wiping the blood off his knuckles.

“You know how he gets,” Jin counters, “Don’t act like you didn’t want that exact reaction from him. You were egging him on all night with y/n.”

Yoongi scoffs. He can’t stand how Jungkook acts like you belong with him. Jungkook is crazy. He’s too hot-headed and oversensitive, the complete opposite of Yoongi. The youngest suffers from inexperience and naivety. All that bark, and he couldn’t even bring himself to talk to you. No, Jungkook doesn’t deserve you, Yoongi thinks, he could never take care of you like Yoongi could.

“What exactly are you trying to accomplish? You brought y/n back and we’re all happy for that, but if Jungkook is right, then I’m going to have to agree with him, brother.” Jin squeezes his friend’s shoulder and Yoongi shakes him off.

“I wasn’t going to keep her locked away.” Yoongi says dismissively. Not that he didn't think once or twice about it.

“How gracious of you.”

“Listen, I found her. She chose me before and she’ll choose me again. The last time you were with her, what happened, Brother? Hobi and Jimin, Jungkook and even you can fight over her all you want. In the end, she will come back to me.”

Jin smiles, he will let Yoongi think that. “And where is your y/n now?”

“I’ll go find her,” Yoongi goes to leave, itching to get you by his side again.

Jin’s hand on his chest stops him. Jin can’t help but smile at his poor friend’s situation, he had been tricked by the two youngest, a plan they orchestrated themselves and everyone else went along with. But Jin couldn’t keep his friend in the dark any longer, especially when revealing the truth would make the aftermath that much more entertaining for Jin.

“I have to tell you something.”

---

You stand in front of the door Taehyung had led you to, your nerves on high alert. Taehyung stands behind you, humming to himself. His arm reaches over your shoulder to rapt three knocks on the door.

As the door knob turns, Taehyung exclaims behind you, “Oh! I forgot.” His long fingers cover your eyes, as he pulls your head back, your body stumbling and crashing against him.

“Taehyung!”

“Shh. Calm down, it’s more fun this way,” he whispers in your ear as you hear the door creak open.

“What do we have here?”

“I brought her for you,” Taehyung purrs. You can feel his chest puff up behind you, he’s ecstatic, you played his game so perfectly, he was so proud of you.

“Good boy.”

You feel fingers wrap around yours as Namjoon brings your hands to his lips, caressing your knuckles. “And what about you? Are you going to be a good girl for me?”

---

Jimin tends to Jungkook’s bleeding nose as Hoseok pours himself a drink. “Thanks for taking one for the team, Kookie.”

Jungkook keeps his head tilted back to stop the blood, glancing over to Hoseok, lips curving in a smile, he’s happy that he accomplished his part of the plan successfully, “I’m going to kill that bastard.”

Jimin flicks him in the forehead. “No you’re not, unless you want y/n to never forgive you.”

“She won’t,” he pouts, ��she acts like she hates him. I’ll be doing her a favor.” Jimin rolls his eyes.

---

The room is quiet, too quiet compared to the raucous party outside. So when Taehyung drags a chair from the corner of the room, the wood scraping against the floor sounds all the more foreboding. Goosebumps bloom on your body as if Taehyung dragged his fingernails along your skin instead.

You sit kneeling on the floor waiting, knees tucked underneath you. RM sits on the bed behind you, legs outstretched and you between them. You stare down at his shoes, shiny black loafers, and glance at his pants legs on either side of you. It's the first time you’ve ever seen a part of him. You want to look up so badly, the idea sits heavy on you, tensing every muscle in your body as you fight your curiosity. The only thing you want more is to find out what will happen if you obey them.

Taehyung pulls the chair right in front of you, facing the bed, you and RM. Another pair of shoes brush against your knees as Taehyung takes a seat.

RM’s fingers rest atop your head and keep your head tilted down while he waits for his friend to situate himself. Until eventually RM moves behind you, fingers fisting your hair and pulling you to your feet. “Go sit on his lap.”

Taehyung sits looking at you like he's just been given first place prize, smirking pridefully as you walk towards him on shaky legs. His shirt is already unbuttoned, tan skin and taunt muscles in full view. That's V, all right. Your insides ache for him, his seduction luring you in like a firefly to light.

Your dress stretches around your thighs as you straddle him, his hands grabbing at your ass and pulling your body into his.

You hear RM’s low voice growl behind you, “Kiss him.”

For a moment you think about the intense quiet man who brought you to this island, his piercing eyes flashing through your mind until Taehyung’s lips crash into yours and you can only think about how sweet the man devouring you tastes, and you kiss him back, exploring his mouth with your tongue.

His hands grope your body, pull your face closer, force away the fabric of your clothes. His touch is everywhere, keeping you distracted only on him as RM sets things up behind you.

RM pulls off his tie as Taehyung’s hands move to either side of your face, and he pulls you away from him, leaving one last peck on your lips, “You’re doing so well, baby doll. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this.”

“V...Taehyung, I-I’ve wanted this too.”

“Will you do what I say?” You feel RM’s hands unzip the back of your dress, the fabric lowers and exposes your chest. Taehyung’s grip on your face tightens as you’re momentarily distracted, bringing your attention back to him.

“Yes.”

“I want you to fuck RM while I watch.”

He what who?

Taehyung brings his hips up causing you to lose your balance when he senses your hesitation, his hard length rubs against your aching core, “Don’t you want to? You wanted so badly for me to take you to him, didn’t you? All you have to do is say yes.”

His thumb traces your jaw as RM lowers his black tie across your eyes. Your heartbeat races, your thighs clench around Taehyung’s legs making him moan and buck into your heat. You shudder and RM secures his tie behind your head with a tight knot.

“Tae...” your fingers tighten into the loose fabric of his shirt at your sudden loss in vision.

Taehyung clasps his hands around yours, holding your wrists together as RM presses himself against your back, and you feel ropes being wrapped around your wrists. “You’re so pretty like this, remember last time?”

You do remember. Fuck, how did you end up like this again? This is all Yoongi’s fault.

RM’s hand wraps around your neck and his deep voice speaks in your ear, “Answer him, baby girl.”

“I-I remember.” You want to cry, you want to cum, you want them to stop this torture.

“Let us make you feel good again,” Taehyung’s voice lowers even deeper than RM’s.

“I...okay.”

“You’ll let RM use you?” You nod your head, grateful you can’t see them. You let yourself hide behind the makeshift blindfold.

“Use your words, I want to hear you say it,” RM demands.

“I want you to use me,” you sit and wait, embarrassed the words left your mouth so easily. The lack of response makes your insides churn, you can’t see the way they smile at each other. If Yoongi wants to make you only his, they are just going to have to destroy you for any other man.

RM’s grip around your neck tightens, arm wrapping around your body as he lifts you off your feet. You land on the soft covers of the bed, you have no time to adjust to the drastic change of orientation before you feel harsh tugs as RM works to undress you, throwing the clothes over to Taehyung who takes his time breathing in your scent, licking the moistness from the fabric.

Namjoon pulls on the rope wrapped around your wrists placing them high above your head, his weight bears down on top of your leg as he grabs your other leg and spreads you wide. The way Taehyung moans reach your ears you suspect he has full view of your naked body. You wiggle against RM’s hold as best you can.

“Mmmm so needy and I’m not even doing anything yet.” RM’s hand leaves your wrists as he moves lower, resting his upper body on top of yours, effectively pinning your lower body down. Having full reign to play with you in this position, you feel his fingers teasing at your entrance. Your tied hands explore the expanse of his back, his shoulders so wide you can’t reach around to end his teasing, you can only moan and whimper at his slow ministrations.

“Ahh so wet,” RM massages everywhere except the place you want him most.

This is mean, this is tortuous, you’ve obeyed them and they still tease you. You cry out in frustration, clenching every time his fingers poke at your hole, RM’s grip on your thigh is too tight to move even an inch. You shove his back with your tied hands and RM laughs.

“Tae, help me out.” You feel fingers finally pressing into your aching clit, rubbing slow circles, making you cry out. RM’s fingers continue to drag across your lips, gathering the wetness that drips from your core. They slowly and steadily work the tension out of you until you’re numb with pleasure.

You let out a scream when your orgasm finally hits you. After being tortured all night, teased until you were delirious, the release becomes so intense you black out, and when you come to RM is pumping his fingers into you roughly. Your body seizes up again, racing into another orgasm. He rocks his hand into you, thumb rubbing your sensitive hood, and you release again. But RM doesn’t stop. He takes and takes, leaving you breathless. The sounds of your wetness fills the room, mixing with Taehyung’s grunts and moans at your helpless state.

“I c-can’t...too sensitive!”

“This is what you wanted, for Daddy to use you. Take it.”

Your tied hands try to move RM’s body off of you, but he is like a boulder on top of your body, unaffected by your hits. You struggle until his pleasure overtakes the pain, and you fall back, losing yourself in the way his fingers fill you up, hitting the deepest parts of you so skillfully. You stop fighting and accept the power he holds over you, he is making you feel so good you want him to take it, the thought sends you hurtling into another orgasm, tightening again around his fingers.

He can feel how close you are. “Be a good girl and give me one more,” RM groans, “that’s it.”

You’re wailing in pleasure now, unable to stop your cries. Your weak body shaking in his grasp. You feel something wet hit your outstretched thigh. Taehyung’s deep grunts of release finally undoing the coil inside you, and you orgasm for a third time around RM’s fingers.

RM lets go of you finally and you lie boneless, breathing ragged, blind and numb to the world. The air feels cool on your sweaty body as you come down from your high. You feel the bed dip as RM joins you again. Before he had been fully dressed, now you can feel his warm skin against your slippery body.

He lays himself between your legs. His lips finally meet yours, they feel full. You moan into his mouth as his tongue plays with yours. You want to touch his face but your arms are still tied together, so you caress his hair instead, the back of his neck, his muscular shoulders, trying to feel as much as you can.

His hard length brushes against your oversensitive core, his mouth swallowing your whimpers as he pushes himself in. You’re so wet there’s no resistance, but the stretch still leaves you gasping. His thrusts are hard and deep, you focus on how the weight of his body feels on top of yours as he uses you to reach his high. “You’re taking Daddy so well, baby.”

“T-Thank you, Daddy,” you stutter out between moans.

RM holds your wrists down as he finishes, releasing deep inside you. You feel every pulse from his cock, the pressure almost becoming too much as he fills you up.

You hear the familiar scrape of the chair again as Taehyung comes closer, fingers wiping away the tears on your face making you feel cared for. You don’t see how he licks your salty tears off his hand.

RM lifts your tired body in his arms, cradling you to his chest. He puts you in his lap as he takes a seat in the vacant chair.

“Tae has been such a patient boy, I think it’s time for his reward.”

RM moves your body so your back is flush against his, pulling the rope on your hands around his head, locking your arms. His hand massages up and down your legs, putting his knees in between yours.

“Kneel.” You realize RM is addressing Taehyung. He spreads his legs to make room for Taehyung, forcing your legs open in the process.

“RM-” Namjoon places his hand over your mouth, the same way he did at the party, stifling your scream as Taehyung buries his face into your pussy.

Taehyung eats you out while RM keeps you open, until you’re shaking in his lap, until you can’t form anything coherent anymore, until you’re so sensitive Taehyung’s lips around your clit is the only thought in your head, the drag of his tongue pulling away from you the last thing you feel before exhaustion sends you into the deepest sleep of your life.

---

You wake up alone.

You pull the sheets closer to your naked body as you look around the vacant room. Everything is moved back to its place, floor empty. You search the ground for your clothes but there’s nothing there. You pull yourself out of bed, trying to ignore your aching joints and pounding head. You look for your clothes but there’s nothing. You search the entire room, the closet is empty, the dresser is empty, there’s not even a towel in the bathroom. Where the hell are your clothes?!

You make your way back into bed, pulling the covers over your body.

Oh fuck, what are you going to do?

What time is it? They just left you and took your clothes. What kind of sick game is Taehyung playing now? Tears well up in your eyes.

You feel more confused than ever, Taehyung had been so sweet to you before, you had often fantasized meeting him, but he was so different in person. You hadn’t expected this. He’s going to come back, right? Right?!

You are pulled away from your thoughts at the sound of the door creaking open.

“I see you’ve been a very bad girl.” Your eyes widen as Yoongi makes his way into the room, closing the door behind him. He looks as smug as ever, holding a hanger over his shoulder.

“A-Are those my clothes?”

“Are these the clothes I gave you last night? No, looks like you fucked yourself out of those.” You pull the bedsheet closer to you, gritting your teeth, blinking away your tears.

“Yoongi...”

“Hmm?” He leans against the bedpost, the clothes hanger hanging off one finger. You want to punch him, but you know you're walking on thin ice already.

“P-please help me.”

“You lost the clothes I got you. Why should I give you more?” You can tell he’s itching to humiliate you.

“So you’re just going to leave me here naked?!” you yell at him.

His eyes narrow. He grabs the bedsheet and pulls, dragging it off your body before you can stop him. You wrap your arms around your chest and pull your legs together.

“I should, after what you did!” Yoongi screams, “Whoring yourself out to my friends. Two at the same time, enjoy yourself? Fucking slut.” His words sting you. How could you fuck up so badly, you just let yourself become overtaken by lust.

“Now look at you. You let them take advantage of you. They used you and they left you with nothing. What would you have done if I didn’t find you?” He crosses his arms, his cold eyes glaring at you.

You burst into tears. Is he right? Is that what they did to you? “I’m-s-so-sorry,” you manage to say between sobs.

He sighs, “I’m here now.” You need him, he’s going to make you see that. He moves closer, lifting your chin to look at him. “If they had taken this,” his hand brushes your choker, “I would have killed them.”

You look at him pleadingly, trying to silence your sniffles. He offers you the clothes hanger, “Change into this.”

---

You unzip the clothes bag and pull out a dress with a light flowery pattern. The fabric is sheer and flowy. The matching lingerie set is pastel pink and strappy. Well, even if he is an asshole at least you can count on Yoongi to make you look good. You clean up your makeup and style your hair as best you can in the empty bathroom, removing what's left of the smudged dark eyeshadow, pushing thoughts from last night away. The more you try to make sense of what transpired, the more confused you become, and remembering just makes you feel hot all over.

Yoongi pushes himself off the wall when you open the door.

There is still music playing, still people dancing, a lot less than the night before, but you’re amazed there are any at all.

“Does the party ever end?” you think out loud.

“Only if you want it to.”

Yoongi leads you outside. When you reach the backyard you realize the party truly never really ended, only moved. Partygoers lounge by the pool, drinking and eating.

“Is that a fucking mermaid?” Girls dressed up in tails lay about the pool, you're about to run towards them when Yoongi pulls you away from the pool. “Let’s eat before you decide to go make friends.”

You walk in step. He looks put together as always, wearing simple light clothes, a white shirt tucked into tan pants, an unbuttoned collared shirt on top.

“Is everyone here a House member?” You ask, finally sober enough to start learning some things.

“Yes, I thought it was obvious. It’s nothing official. Just a get-together after our quarterly meeting, something for our investors.”

Right, never did you just have a ‘get-together’ like this. It's annoying how out of touch they are.

You see the familiar faces of his friends sitting in a secluded area. Before you and Yoongi get within earshot he grabs your arm.

“If Taehyung and Jungkook try to touch you again, let me know, will you?”

Wait, Jungkook is RM? What? No way, that doesn’t make any sense. He can’t be, he was downstairs when you first met RM. But why does Yoongi think you fucked him? Jungkook is not RM. Though, you remember how he never spoke to you.

His grip on you tightens when you don’t answer, “Y/n…”

“Okay, okay.”

---

Jungkook watches you and Yoongi whispering to one another. You look flustered when Yoongi places a soft kiss on your cheek before breaking away.

He takes a deep breath, rubbing his temples to take the tension away. When he looks up again, Yoongi and you are walking towards the group, your eyes fixated on...him? Jungkook breaks eye contact and looks back at you...and you’re still staring at him. He keeps eye contact with you, face going redder and redder.

He watches as you greet his friends, eyes glancing his way too frequently to call it a coincidence. What the fuck did Yoongi tell you to make you look at him like he grew three heads?

---

“I’ll be right back.” Yoongi makes his way to the far end of the party where Seokjin is talking to another man. You watch as Yoongi embraces the stranger, it’s one of the few times you’ve seen Yoongi smile, not a self satisfied smirk or a threatening grin, but a genuine smile showing off his gums that make the intimidating man look actually cute. The stranger gives him a dimpled smile in return.

“Who’s that with Seokjin?” you ask Jimin.

He looks over to where you're pointing, Jimin's expression full of mirth, “That’s Namjoon, looks like he made it to the party after all.”

“Oh.”

Jimin pulls on your arm, turning you to him, “Let’s go swimming!”

“Oh, but I don’t have a bathing suit.”

“That’s okay, you can go in your underwear,” he wiggles his eyebrows at you, making you giggle.

“I’ll, um, be right back,” Jimin whines as you get up, and you promise him it will only take a minute. You know you’d never get a chance to talk to Jungkook with Yoongi by your side, the two of them seem to have an odd tension between them. But now that Yoongi is distracted with Seokjin and Namjoon, it’s the perfect opportunity.

“Er hello?”

Jungkook’s wide doe eyes looks up at you. “Hello...”

Okay, he definitely doesn’t sound like RM. “Hi, I didn’t get to talk to you last night. I just wanted to say hi.”

“Oh, hi.”

“...hi.”

This is painfully awkward. You study his frame...he is built. The tank top he’s wearing shows off his broad shoulders and muscular tattooed arms, he looks strong like how you imagine RM. Maybe if you kiss him...

Jungkook watches as you peer over his back. “Dahlia…”

“Hmm? Oh, just call me y/n.” you insist, the alias making you feel self-conscious.

“I missed talking to you...so much.”

“We talked?” Is he really RM? No, it doesn’t feel like him at all.

Jungkook bites his lower lip. His front teeth pressing into his round lips makes him look cute, you think, like a scared rabbit.

“Yes, we used to talk a lot, before...” he bites back the words so he doesn’t make you uncomfortable. “My username is..” Ugh, Jungkook can’t believe he’s saying this to you out loud, why did he have to choose such a dumb username? “PlayboyJK.”

“Oh, oh! I remember you!” You remember your conversations with him. He was a good tipper, a bit unconventional in his requests, but he was always one of the first viewers to your stream.

“Honestly, I can’t believe you would watch me.”

“Why?”

“You’re just so...handsome? I’m just surprised, I guess!”

Jungkook’s ears go red at the compliment. You’re so perfect, you’re a goddess. He’d watch you all day every day, he’d watch you sleep. How could you think he wouldn’t want to watch you?

“I think you’re so beautiful, I like you a lot.”

“T-Thank you,”

“Are you going to start streaming again?

“Ha no no. I put all that behind me. Well, I thought I did,” you say after noticing Jungkook’s confused expression. “Um, it’s a long story.”

“Oh, you don’t have to join again. I could, um, pay you directly.”

“You’d pay me? For what?” you laugh, but you're curious to hear his answer.

“For anything, I’d pay you...just be with me.” you look into Jungkook’s wide eyes, so determined. Maybe if Yoongi had asked you this way, you would have considered it.

“I-HEY!” You squeal as Hoseok lifts you out of your seat. Jungkook gives Jimin a look of dismay as he pulls the younger man to his feet too.

Somehow you ended up in the pool with your dress still on. The sheer fabric doing little to hide the lingerie underneath for all the men to see.

---

The sun has already left the horizon while you sit on the deck of Yoongi’s yacht, drying off your body from the day's watery fun. You listen to the waves hit the walls of his boat as it sloshes around in the water, the rhythm like a whispering melody. The twilight casts everything in blue, the smell of salt and fresh air along with sound of the sea's waves is just so relaxing. What you wouldn't give to experience this all the time.

“Come back with me.” Yoongi's hushed voice breaks your trance.

“And be what, your personal servant?" you scoff, "I don’t think so.”

"What about those girls at the party? You could be like them, always having fun, the center of attention."

You bite your lip. "I don't want that." You wonder if Yoongi will believe you when you don't even believe yourself.

"Or I could just give you all my attention." He gets closer to you. "All this could be your life."

"Maybe I like my life-"

Yoongi laughs at you, earning himself a glare.

"Or I could just keep you here." He smirks down at you.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Don’t dare me.”

You stop glaring at him, turning your head away. You watch the lights on the mansion turn on as the night settles in.

“Do you really want to go back to that boring job?” You roll your eyes at his words. “Don’t you want more? To have fun? I’ll give you everything you want."

"I don’t think you could give me everything."

"Just try. You can always go back, I’m sure that manager friend of yours would rehire you."

You sigh, breathing in deep the salty air.

“I would have to put in my two weeks...”

---

Hobi’s scene was fun to write, I haven’t been to parties or dancing in so long I was like what the hell happens again? Now I wanna dance! Reader who said Yoongi will throw her into the sea last chapter you made me laugh so hard I almost considered making him do that lol. I guess there’s still some time to piss him off enough! Do you believe Yoongi? What do you think (or want) to happen next? <3

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lilith-of-rivia · 3 years

Text

The Bards Sister Geralt XFemale!Reader Part 1

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Masterlist

Summary: Geralt of Rivia and his long time travel companion Jaskier find themselves in Jaskiers home land. A place geralt had not only never seen nor heard of. Jaskier is ready to reunite its his family after traveling and exploring the world for 20 years. The one person he missed the most was his baby sister (Y/N). Who he hadnt seen since she was 5. The journal is long, but the pay off is grander then they would ever be able to predict. I know i am trash at summaries.

Trigger warnings: NONE a lot of Geralt and Jaskier in this first part. Your charicter doesn’t come in till closer to the end.

Pairings: GeraltxReader JaskierxSister!reader

Word count: 6,095 longest fanfic I’ve ever written!!

A/N: hello my loves!!! I got my Insperation back!! I’m hopping i will be regularly posting agin!!! I ove you all so much you consistent love and supoort has not gone unnoticed. The constant likes and reblogs truly means the world to me. I love every single one of you so much. Thank you for believing in my writing the way you do. All my love -Lilith ps. I have reviewed and edited but I will be doing a more in-depth review soon!

“Where are we going, Jaskier.” The Witcher’s brooding voice echoed threw the flowered valley. His horse trotted not far behind his companion. Jaskier looked back at him and just rolled his eyes.

“How many times have you led me on endless roads, towards the middle of nowhere speaking little to no words to me no matter how much I ask?” Geralt said nothing. Jaskier snorted looking back towards the road.

“Exactly. No shut up, your brooding is giving me a headache.” The bard was giving the witcher a taste of his own medicine. The idea that Jaskier was leading him to somewhere he had no idea of the location, made him uneasy. Did he trust his bard? Absolutely without a doubt. Would he ever admit it to him? No never.

Their travels continued till the sun was barely hanging in the sky. The air had grown crisp replacing the harsh burning of the full summer sun. Jaskier pulled his mare to the side of the road, climbing off her, tying her to a tree. Geralt followed, realizing they were stopping for the day.

“We still have a couple hours of daylight left.” Geralt said as he took Roach’s saddle and tack off.

“We don't need a couple hours, we are nearly there. Maybe an hour and half.” Geralt cocked an eyebrow at Jaskier.

“Then why did we stop?” Jaskier pulled his saddle bags off his horse, putting them beside a log as he gathered some sticks for the fire.

“Because I have to debrief you as to who we are going to see and you must bathe before we do so. The stream here will do the trick.”

“Gods Jaskier, will you just tell me where we are going? The secrecy is bullshit.” The broot of a man was losing his patience with his friend.

The duo had been on the trip for nearly two weeks. They left Tramieria and headed east. Much further east than Geralt could ever remember traveling. Yet the bard seemed to know exactly what turns to take and when. The closer they drew to their destination the more the witcher could hear his heart beat faster.

“Jaskier if this is some stupid plot for me to protect you from some man who’s wife you slept with again-“

“It's not Geralt-“ Jaskier pinched the bridge of his nose, his stress causing a minor headache. “Just go bathe then I’ll tell you everything.” Geralt studied his friend, his eyes searching his face, his ears tuning into his heart beat trying his best to figure out what he was getting himself into.

With a low grunt the witcher grabbed his last set of clean clothes and the bar of soap from the bard's hand before stomping off to the river.

“Clean EVERYTHING!” Jaskier yelled over his shoulder. Only getting an unfriendly finger in return.

Nearly an hour later, the sun was completely hidden behind the canyon, the glow of the fire Jaskier started illuminating their small camp. Jaskier’s fingers strummed mindlessly at his lute, his eyes fixed on the stars that were making their presence known more, humming to himself softly. He heard his friends footsteps as he approached, his hair was wet at his shoulders. A fresh white Cotton tunic hugged his muscular build, black trousers hugging his legs. He smiled nice for once. All thanks to the lavender and honey soap Jaskier had received as a gift.

“Now don't you look better.” Jaskier said with a chuckle. The witcher sat down across the fire from him, his golden eyes staring heavily at the bard.

“Spill your guts Jaskier.” Jaskier rubbed his hands over his face and nodded. His eyes looking anywhere but at his friend.

“I haven't been completely forward about my family life.” Jaskier’s eyes landed on the moon above them. It was nearly full, he was doing well with time. He knew they would reach their destination well before the next full moon.

“Jaskier.” Geralt’s harsh voice broke the silence. With a loud sigh Jaskier finally looked his friend in the face.

“I’m royalty Geralt.” The Witcher’s expression did not change. He just looked at his friend. He could hear Jaskier's heart beat become uneven and unsteady. At first he thought it was a joke but the nervous energy radiating from his long time friend made him think better.

“My family, they are wonderful people. My mother, bless her, taught me everything I needed to know about writing and music. Convinced my father to let me train at Oxenfurt Academy. My father is a noble and loyal king. He served our people well. Still does to my knowledge. I haven't been back in nearly 20 years…” the bard trailed off, his eyes fixated on his hands, his fingers twildilling with a ring he had on. The ring was that of his family. Their crest engraved into the gold.

“I was never meant to be a noble. I lived for adventure, for more than just sitting on a throne and watching people come and go. I was never fit to be king. My parents knew that. They understood. Understanding people they are.” His voice trailed off again, hopping his friend would say something. Ask a question. Anything. He didn’t know where to go next.

“Why didn't you ever tell me?” Geralt finally asked.

“Because it never came up. My family never needed me. I never needed them. I love them all dearly of course. But we were never the closest people in the world. Well, my sister and I were.” That caught the Witcher’s attention. His eyes narrow slightly, he made sure to not let his expression scare the bard into not telling him more. He was genuinely curious about his family. But he couldn't lie and say he wasn't disappointed that in the 7 years they traveled together he never heard of them.

“You have a sister?” The bard's eyes lit up. His memory raced with images of his tun little sister chasing him around the courtyard screaming, yelling his name. Her giggles and laughs pulling at his heart strings.

“Yes. Her name is (Y/N). She is about to be 25. Big age for a princess. I havnt seen her since she was very little.” His heart started to break softly. His neglect to his baby sitter weighting heavily on him.

“I write her often, as much as I can. She was...well, a surprise to my parents to say the least. I was 15 when she was born. I left home at 20. I was only around for her toddler years. I never got to see her grow, blossom into a young woman. I missed so much.” Jaskier had to fight back the tears, his throat becoming tight and dry. His body filling with regret.

“I just kept pushing it back Geralt. I alwasy said I’d make it home. I alwasy had it in the back of my mind to go back and see her. But I never did.”

“Why now?” Geralt asked.

“She wrote me a few months back. It was nearly a book. It was filled with tales of her new travels around our country. She had been training heavily with an unmanned matester of combat. She traveled the countryside with the man. She referred to him as an uncle. In the letter she asked me if it was true that I’d been traveling with you. She said the songs and tales of Jaskier the Bard traveling with the White Wolf made it to her ears.” Jaskier stopped talking for a brief moment, rummaged around his rut sack and pulled out a notebook. He untied its string and a large pile of papers fell out into his hand. He unfolded the parchment and scanned the writing.

“I wrote her back that week. Only to receive this in return.” He began to read;

“Oh dear Jaskier!! I cannot believe its true. I thought he was only a legend. The white wolf. Please tell him he is a hero here. We love his stories. Many have written books of him. Children run round calling themselves the butcher of Blaviken here to save the damsel and distress. I love his stories, mainly because they involve you. Please come visit me this year. I miss you terribly. I want to hear of your travels with the wolf. Mother said he is more than welcome to stay if he wishes to travel with you. I do miss you Jaskier. More than I think you know. I do not mean to guilt you or make you feel bad as i know you are traveling the world to your heart's content and would never want you to feel as though I do not support you-“ Jaskier stopped reading for a brief moment. A small tear dripped onto the page he was reading. Geralt listened to every word he read. He couldn't help the small tug of his lips when he read about the children pretending to be him. It was a breath of fresh air for the witcher. He had constantly been told he was a monster. To hid your children from him. Yet here was an entire country that loved him, yet he had no idea. Jaskier cleared his throat and continued. “But i miss my brother. And maybe, just maybe. I could come with you. If you deem me fit. I have been working tirelessly with a friend of fathers. He trains me in not only swordsmanship, but Herbology, and monsters as well. I can name nearly every monster that has inhabited the Continent and how to slay it. He thinks I’m ready to leave the nest and I think mother and father are getting a bit tired of me as well. I cannot stand another somber, dull, dinner party with nobles who look at me like a piece of meat. So please. Visit me soon. Come and stay a few days. Catch up with your dear sister and maybe, if he isn't too busy and if it doesn’t inconvenience him, bring the Wolf with you. He’d be a welcomed hero. All my love dear brother. Xoxo Love always, (Y/N) Irene Pankratz

Jaskier folded the letter, placing it inside his notebook before safely storing it inside his sack again. He ran a hand over his face, his eyes slowly moving from his hands to his best friend. They sat in the silence for a while. Geralt’s brain replaying the words he had heard from his friend.

“You could have told me about her Jaskier. Why didn't you? You’ve been in contact with her all this time, planning to see her and your family again. Bringing me along for the ride, yet not a single word in 7 years. Do you not trust me with such a secret Jaskier?” Jaskier was taken aback by his friend's words.

He never knew his secrecy would have such an impact on his friend. When it came to Geralt he learned long ago, the little words, the better. The witcher can only handle so much before he loses interest and stops listening or walks away. He never in a million years would have thought he cared about his life that much. It warmed the bards heart to know his dear friend, the only brother he ever had, cared that deeply for him.

“It has nothing to do with not trusting you Geralt. Is has everything to do with the shame I hold for not seeing her sooner. For treating her like a dirty secret form the world. There is no logical reason for me to keep my family such a big secret. Yet I have. For 20 years.” Geralt’s hands rubbed together softly as he listened to his friend. He understood the secrecy. He was a box full of secrets that nobody could get into.

“Its okay Jaskier. I understand the secrecy. Is that where we are going tomorrow?” Jaskier nodded, a smile appearing on his face.

“Her birthday is the next full moon. I’m hoping my gift will be a good start in time lost.” Geralt looked at him curiously. He hadn't noticed any major item in Jaskier’s possession that could make a good gift for a young princess.

“You’re her gift Geralt. I wrote her back after that letter and told her I’d be back for her next birthday. But that you simply were to busy with your work. I told her that you greatly appreciated her support and that youd consider writing to her in the future. She has no idea your coming with me.” Geralt didnt know how he felt about being a gift. He never ever saw himself as a gift to anyone. More of a burden the a gift. He shook his head at Jaskier and tutted at him.

“Jaskier if your that broke you could’ve asked me for a few extra coins for a real gift.” The witcher attempted to joke with the bard. It made Jaskier smile more. Geralt could be funny, but his humor was incredibly dry, much like Jaskier’s father.

“Geralt! Did you just try and joke around with me??” Geralt rolled his eyes, laying down stretching his muscles as he looked up at the starts.

“Best get some sleep Jaskier, you’ve got a rather big family reunion tomorrow.”

The next morning Jaskier was up and awake before Geralt, a rare sight. He truly hadn't slept more than a couple hours that night. His nerves kept him awake. He feared his sister wouldn’t be as loving as he pictured, she had every right to be mad at him, hate him even. By the time Geralt was up, Jaskier had bathed, changed and had his horse completely ready to go.

Geralt had to do everything in his power to not laugh at his friend. He looked rather ridiculous. His normal bright attire was replaced with a royals outfit. A green and blue velvet tunic and some extremely uncomfortable looking black trousers. His hair was combed back and his face was freshly washed. He even cleaned under his fingernails. He looked rather ridiculous in Geralt’s opinion. He couldn't help the low chuckle that left his lips as he put his bed roll away.

“I don't understand why you're laughing. I have some clothes for you to put on as well.” Geralt’s expression changed instantly, from humorous to angry.

“No. Absolutely not. What I’m wearing is perfectly fine. I’d wear it to meet any king or queen.” A bag was chucked at him, he barely caught it before it smacked into his face.

“This isn't any normal king and queen Geralt. This is my family. And besides, you are no ordinary witcher in my kingdom, you’ll be treated as royalty there. You may as well look the part.” Geralt huffed and threw the bag of clothes back at his friends feet, glaring daggers at him. He hated dressing up with a burning passion. Everything was too tight, not easy to fight in. If anything happened he’d have to rip the seams on every piece of clothing to be able to maneuver his weapons properly. And fancy clothes dont have space for weapons. He didn't like that one bit. Jaskier looked at his friend. His eyes pleading with him.

“Please Geralt. Just for today and her birthday. I couldn't care less what you wear at any other point on this trip.” He had walked closer to Geralt now. About a meter away from him. He extended his hand, the bag in his hand. Geralt looked from the bag to his friend. His teeth and jaw clenched.

He let out a loud huff and grabbed the bag from the bard.

“Fine.” He said through gritted teeth and began taking off his clothing. Jaskier smiled before turning his attention to Roach, getting her stalled and tacked so when Geralt was dressed they could leave.

“If we move with a bit of a haste we could make it there before breakfast.” Jaskier said as he mounted his horse, looking at his friend. His hand slapped over his face. The witcher looked utterly ridiculous in his new attire. The bright red and orange vest a-top a cream tunic, his legs tight in some disgustingly ugly corduroy pants. The pants were obviously smaller than the seamstress he bought them off claimed them to be. The ends of the pants came nearly mid calf on Geralt’s legs. His pasty white ankles and feet shining in the early morning sun.

“Jesus Geralt. Those are worse than the ones I got for Pavetta’s party.” The bard could no longer hold in his laughter. Did Gerarlt look like a nobleman? Sure, but his size, white hair, and bright yellow eyes really didn't help the situation.

“Jaskier, I will kill you for this.” Geralt grumbled angered as he pulled his socks up his feet and over his calves. Luckily for him (and Jaskier) his boots went higher than his pants, making it harder to notice that the pants he was wearing were way too small.

“At least I’m not making you wear a big hat with a feather, those are truly hideous.” Geralt mounted Roach, more carefully then he normally does in fear his pants could bust at the seams.

“I had to wrap you up nice and pretty to present you to my sister.” Jaskier commented as he led his horse; Napoleon to the main road, Geralt and Roach in tow.

The two men rode in a comfortable silence for some time, but as they got closer and closer to Jaskier’s home, all Geralt could hear was his frantic heartbeat. Jaskier’s palms get sweaty and his throat dry, no matter how much water he drinks from his water skin.

“Jaskier. You need to calm down. Your fucking heart beat is driving me insane.” Geralt hissed. They could see the end of the valley they had been traveling in. Geralt looked out in the distance, his eyes saw the castle first. It was very far, but he could tell how beautiful it was from where they were.

“Maybe you just shouldn’t listen to it then.” Jaskier barked back.

“You know I have no control over it, idiot. Take a deep breath. I know you're scared, I understand. But from the sounds of it your sister desperately misses you, I don't think she would ask you to come see her if she was going to hate you.” Geralt didn't talk much at all, that everyone knew. He was a man of few words. But when he did speak it was wiser than most people ever expected. People tended to forget the age of the white haired man, as he stopped ageing physically in his late twenties.

Jaskier smiled softly at his friend's words, he listened to him and took a few deep breaths, calling himself down. Geralt was right. His sister seemed eager as ever to see him again.

The two men approached the entrance to the city. Geralt was more than shocked. He wasn't sure if he had ever seen a city so beautiful in his entire life. The streets were lined in beautiful stone, flowers, vines, greenery all around every corner. The banners that were hanging on the outside of the main gates caught Geralt’s eyes. The crests on them were brightly colored in greens and blues, a very large diamond in the center. Their horses rode into the entrance of the town. Jaskier’s heart was calm, steady, his face was bright and had a smile Geralt had never seen on him before. He was finally home.

“Welcome to Inritha (In-Rithe-A) the capital of Unthya (Un-The-A) Geralt. Welcome to my home.”

Their horses traveled down the stone brick road slowly, the city was buzzing already even with it being the early hours of the morning. Geralt was surprised to see everyone look so...happy, care free. Enjoying their lives. They looked as though nothing was a fret, no monster looming. Geralt was mesmerized by the city. The buildings were built out of what looked to him like limestone, a building material he so rarely saw in other parts of the Continent. The buildings were being taken over by vines and moss, flowers all over. He’d never seen so many butterflies in his life.

“Jaskier-'' his voice was barely a whisper, the bard turning to look at him as they rode side by side. Jaskier couldn't help but smile as his friend admired the beauty he himself had so easily forgotten over the years.

“I know, it's beautiful. I've forgotten myself.”

The two men continued riding their horses up the road closer and closer to the castle. The longer they road tho more attention they got from passer buys. Geralt could hear their whispers.

It couldn't be. Could it?

THE Geralt of Rivia? Here in Inritha?

Mummy look! It's the butcher!!

Has Prince Jaskier finally returned home?

For the first time in what seemed like his entire life, the hushed whispers Geralt heard as he rode through a city were not of hate and disgust. But of admiration and curiosity. The entire time Geralt and Jaskier rode through the city, he never once had the urge to grab either of his swords that were at his side.

The two men approached the gates of the castle, four armored guards stood outside. The put their hand up in motion for the men to stop. One who looked as tho to be the commander of sorts stepped forward poking between both men. Eyes lingering for a long while on the two.

“State your name and what business you have in Inritha at this early hour.” Jaskier dismounted his horse, waking a few feet forward.

“My name is Jaskier Alfred Pankratz son of Dastrill and Alvere Pankratz. This is my companion Geralt Of Rivia, we are here on behalf of my sister, (Y/N) Irene Pankratz’s 25th birthday.” Jaskier bowed his head lowly, keeping eye contact with the commander in front of him.

“Prince Jaskier?!?” The man clearly looked flustered and embarrassed for not recognizing the prince of his own kingdom. All four men quickly bowed their heads.

“Please accept my apology your highness, we welcome you home. As do we welcome your honored guest.” Jaskier smiled and told the men to not trouble themselves with an apology. Geralt continued to watch from atop Roach, still not use to being idolized instead of feared. Honored guest. Geralt thought to himself. He could get use to the new treatment. Jaskier remounted Napoleon the gates to the castle walls opening. The both road threw, all four men bowed their heads as the two walked threw. Not once did they threaten Geralt’s life. They were led by a guard to the stables where they left their horses.

Geralt could hear Jaskier heart beating again in his chest as they were led inside the castle. Geralt tried to concentrate on his friend, to be there for him but he couldn't help but let his eyes wander all over the castle's walls, it was a bright exterior. The walls polished, candles everywhere. Large windows allowing for natural lighting. Nothing dark or gloomy about the castle at all. He felt uplifted..cheary almost. As they neared the entrance to the grand hall where the King, Queen, Princess along with some others were. Geralt could hear the light conversation, and the clicking of silver on plates, they were eating breakfast. But he could still hear Jaskier’s heart beating in his chest. Geralt placed a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder as they walked, giving it a soft squeeze. The action made Jaskier more worried if the witcher was feeling alright, as it was abnormally out of character for the man. But he said nothing, appreciating the gesture.

They got to the door and just as the guard was about to push the doors open Jaskier grabbed his arm.

“Could we maybe skip the loud over dramatic announcements of my arrival? I have not seen my family in years.” The guard only nodded, bowed his head and walked back outside to his post. Jaskier looked over at his friend, as he put his hand on the door ready to push it open.

“Now or never.” Jaskier said as he opened the door. Both men walked into the large room, the talking stopped almost instantly. Geralt stood at the door, not wanting to impose on the important reunion of his friend and his family. He followed Jaskiers gaze to the table ahead of them in the front of the room. The room was lined with huge floor to ceiling windows, the light of the early morning sun shone brightly making the marble floors glisten.

“JASKIER!!!” The loud scream of a girl nearly made Geralt jump out of his skin, his hand reaching back for a sword that wasn't there in instinct.

It made Jaskier jump but the smile that covered his face was even bigger than the one he had seen as he walked through the city. Geralt followed Jaskier’s gaze to a young woman. The sight of her alone made Geralt want to pass out. He wasn't sure if he had ever seen someone so beautiful in his entire life. Her hair was the same chestnut brown that Jaskier had, but it was long, hip length. She had it pulled back slightly out of her face, a few baby hairs framed her face. Oh her face. Geralt thought as though he was looking at a living breathing angel. He heard her chair scrape roughly on the ground before it loudly crashed on the floor. She raced around the long table from her mothers side and sprinted to her brother. She practically threw herself on him. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. He quickly wrapped his arms around her, stumbling back a few steps. Everything was quite as the two embraced. Geralt's eyes went to the king and queen who were now standing. The queen looked just like (Y/N) but her hair was black, long stripes of grey peeking through her hair. The crown atop her head glistened in the light. Her right hand was tightly around her husband's arm, her other hand placed softly over her mouth as she looked at her children. Her husband looked much like Jaskier. His hair was the same color as both of their children, but much like his wife’s, much of it had turned grey. His eyes were the same cornflower blue that Jaskier had.

Minutes passed in silence before Jaskier put his hands on his sisters shoulders, pulling her away from him. He put one hand on her cheek as he examined her features. Her pale cheeks were damp with tears. But not sad tears. Tears of joy.

“My sister, how you’ve grown.” Geralt could hear the tears in the bard's voice. He couldn't see him but he could hear everything.

(Y/N) fingers gently brushed over her brother’s face as she smiled at him.

“My brother, how you haven't aged a day. You look just as I remember you. Maybe a few more wrinkles.” She teased. He laughed softly. Wiping his eyes with his hand before pulling her into another bone crushing embrace. She was much shorter than Jaskier, barely shoulder level with him. Geralt was shocked to remember she would be turning 25 in two days. She was still young in the face, beautiful. He wanted nothing more than to see her more up close.

While the siblings spoke their parents moved from the spots at the table, standing behind (Y/N). Alvere was the first to pull him into a tight embrace after her daughter let go. Her fingers gently combed through his hair as she inhaled his scent deeply.

“My dear son how I've missed you.” She whispers slowly into his ear. Geralt was starting to feel bad for eavesdropping. Not that he could help it. He was still standing at the entrance to the grand hall yet he could hear everything.

Jaskiers father hugged him next, it was not nearly as long as the outer two but both men were okay with it. Understanding that their relationship had never been one for long father son hugs.

“It is good to see you again my boy.” His hand clasped down on his son's shoulder.

The four of them stood close together, smiling more than Geralt ever thought possible. It almost made his heart turn. Deep, deep, deep, down the witcher longed for a family that would look at him the way they looked at Jaskier. He often cured the universe for not giving him an option when it came to what he had become. He clung to the few memories he had of his mother. But as years passed they became harder and harder to remember, more painful. But he had. Made a new sort of family over the years. From Jaskier, to his brothers at Kaer Morhen.

“(Y/N), mum, dad, there is someone I’d like you to meet.” Jaskier turned his head towards the door to the hall. Geralt stood tall, shoulders pressed back, his hair framed his face gracefully. Even in the entirely ugly attire he was in, he made himself as presentable and as proper as possible. (Y/N)’s eyes grew bigger when her eyes met his. He once again was taken aback by her beauty. Her eyes were a powerful emerald green matching similarly to the color of her brother's tunic, but brighter. Her mouth fell slightly agape when she realized who it was. The eyes were a dead give away that he was in fact a witcher, but once she saw the silver medallion that rested on his chest, she knew.

Jaskier nodded his head for Geralt to walk forward and he did, his footsteps were light, his pace slow and steady as he walked closer to the royal family. (Y/N)’s hand gently covered her mouth in excitement. Her eyes flickering to her brother who grinned at her.

“A bit of an early birthday gift.” He winked. Once Geralt was closer to the group Jaskier turned so he could introduce them, at his sister's side. All eyes were on him. Even the few people who were still seated at the table were looking at him. He started to feel a bit more uneasy. He started to remember how far away his swords were if he needed them. This alone was beginning to make him panic. He was not used to being welcomed into royal courts unless it was specifically for a hunt.

“This is Geralt of Rivia, one of the most feared, renowned, and skilled Witcher’s the content has to offer. And also my best friend.”

Geralt's eyes were back on (Y/N)’s, his worries dropped more when she smiled brightly at him. Her eyes gleamed.

Geralt bowed his head to the three of them, “ it is an absolute pleasure to meet you, your highnesses.” (Y/N) was nearly blown over by the sultry sound of his voice. She had only heard stories of the witcher. Never see him for herself and definitely had never heard him speak. She never expected a monster hunter to be as handsome as he was. She admired every feature he had. Her eyes fixating on his chiseled jawline, the light gray stubble across his chin and cheeks.

“My, what a pleasure it is to meet such a famed warrior as yourself Geralt!” The king spoke before (Y/N) could, which she was happy about as she did not trust her voice to not waver at his beauty in that moment.

“You my dear are very popular around here. Your stories are legendary. The school children even host yearly plays, Reenacting your most beloved stories.” (Y/N)’s mother added her finger pointing light hardly at Geralt. Her hand came out gracefully from her side to shake the Witcher’s hand. He gently took it, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips. His attention returned to (Y/N).

“I’m terribly sorry I’m the birthday gift from your brother this year.” She shook her head almost as soon as the words left his mouth.

“Do not be sorry Geralt-'' the way she said his name made him feel as though he could keel over. “I would like to thank you, for protecting my brother for the years you have. He never skips on his gratitude for you in his letter to me. For that we are all eternally grateful for you.” She reached her hand out. Geralt wasted no time in grabbing her hand, shaking it gently. He was dying inside, but he couldn't let her or anyone else see. He took a gentle step towards her, his head lowering softly, his soft lips were placed on the back of her small hand. The small action made the young girls' faces burn red. Her eyes flicked to her brother who smugly smiled, knowing danm well his gift was going to take the cake.

“Well, you both should come join us, we just started eating.” The king said with a smile, with a quick wave of his hand two more places we set.

(Y/N) gently removed her hand from Geralt’s. Walking towards the table, both men in tow. As she reached her spot she moved her plate and glass to the middle seat that had been prepared, leaving Jaskier a seat next to their mother and Geralt a seat next to her. They all sat and waited as food was served to them. (Y/N) could feel Geralt watching her as she ate, her brother deep in conversation with her parents about his most recent travels. But she wasnt listening. Her attention was only on the man seated to her left. She looked over at the man, eyed him up and down then turned to her brother. For the first time she noticed how ugly their attire was.

“Gods Jaskier who dressed you two?” She asked as she sipped her orange juice. Both men looked at her. Jaskier looked a bit hurt and Geralt only snorted.

“I told him the clothes were horrendous.” Geralt said beside the young woman making her giggle. The sound made his heart beat faster. This was also when he realized how sensibly everyone else in the room was dressed, and how much they stood out. (Y/N) was in a thin white cotton dress, it was around knee length and a light sweater was on her shoulders. Her mother and father dressed similarly. Their clothes looking normal, comfortable.

“Oh my dear brother. What have you done to the poor witcher.” She laughed, turning her attention to him. She could see how uncomfortable the clothes made him. The vest was way too tight and he was practically bursting out of his pants, not that she minded, she gladly enjoyed the view.

“He is torturing me. That's what.” Geralt scoffed and she couldn't help but giggle again.

“You're so dramatic Geralt it's truly not that bad.” Her head flicked to her brother.

“Jaskier don't be rude.” She tutted him like a mother, it made Geralt snort under his breath as he took a bite of his eggs. She stood and walked behind him. He was stiff at her movements.

“Do you mind?” Her fingers were on the strings of the vest. He shook his head no and she quickly untied the tight strings, and it fell from his shoulders. She took it off and handed it to one of the maids

“You can burn that horridly ugly thing.” She said as she sat back down.

“I do not remember you being so rude, little sister.” Jaskier quipped.

“What I think is rude is how you made sure you got the more presentable clothing and dressed your poor friend in those horrendous colors. Have you seen his pants, Jaskier?? It's a miracle he can still breath.” Her eyes looked towards the witcher who was already looking at her with a cocky smirk on his face, glad she was putting Jaskier in his place for the ugly outfit choice.

“I can take you to the seamstress later today, if you’d like Geralt.” Her smile was like a drug.

“I’d appreciate that m'lady.” He said softly.

“And I can show you around the city, both of you. But in return I would like to hear some of your stories, first hand if that’s doable.”

“That sounds like a reasonable trade.” Geralt quipped back.

“Then it's a date, Witcher.”

“A date it is.”

448 notes · View notes

mermaidxatxheart · 3 years

Text

Better Together Chapter 4

Okay, y'all. I'm posting this just before I go on vacation. If you want to be added to my tag lists, send an ask. My work is not to be reposted anywhere. A big thank you to those who have proof-read this for me. I don't know what I would do without you.

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: language, violence, angst. This is where it gets rough.

Chapter 3

Chapter Four

You sit up violently with a scream, clutching at your chest, but it’s not really your chest you’re worried about. You scramble for your friend, but he’s not at the edge of the cave, it’s still dark outside. You’ve probably been asleep for an hour, no more than two.

“Poe!” You call frantically. “Dameron!”

He skids back into the entrance, back into your blessed view, buckle undone on his trousers. “Hey, I’m right here. What happened?” He asks, reaching for your arms.

Your hands press shakily against his chest, desperate to feel his solid heartbeat. “I—“ you stutter.

It was just a dream.

“You’re freezing.” He comments, rubbing your arms to get you warm.

“Wh-what were you doing outside?” You ask, teeth starting to chatter as the shivering hits you.

“Taking a leak. I was just outside.” He leads you back over to the fire and drapes his jacket around your shoulders. “Here, sit in front of the fire, sweetheart. Let’s get you warm.” He builds the fire back up, and while the heat of it dances across your skin, it never goes any deeper.

He starts to stand up but you grab his wrist pleadingly. “Don’t leave me?” You whisper. He seems taken aback by the sheer desperation in your voice, so he nods and settles behind you.

“Close your eyes. I’m right here.” He says softly and you pull his arm around you, needing him close. He presses his forehead to the back of yours and you can feel his breath on your neck. You can feel your hands trembling as you clutch at his and he holds you tighter.

“Do you think,” he starts, lifting his head to speak softly into your ear. You start at the noise and turn to listen better. “Do you think Leia is sobbing uncontrollably right now because of how much she misses me?” He asks quietly and your lips pull up at the corners against your will.

“I’m sure she’s managing somehow. It’s difficult, but I think she can hold on.” You reply, shifting to lay your head back down.

“I hope so. I’d hate to be the reason she suffers so.” He says dramatically and you snort loudly before you can stop yourself. “Bless you.” He adds, his voice dripping with a grin.

“You definitely cause her to suffer.” You mutter and he squeezes your side, exactly where you hate. You squeal and squirm, trying to get away, but he grabs you and presses you flush against him.

“You’re so mean to me.” He sighs, dropping his head against your shoulder, but his nonsense worked, you feel a little better as he holds you so you can sleep.

***

Poe Dameron is…. confusing. And soft. Big giant Ewok. Ever since you woke up this morning, he’s been gentle. Cracking jokes to get you to smile, walking next to you instead of in front of you, taking your hand more often.

About mid morning, you stop for a break. Your legs don’t feel any better and you almost wish you had taken Poe up on his offer to massage them. You ease down onto a log and he hands you some food from his pack.

You close your eyes against the light, sweat trickling down the back of your neck. No matter how many times you wipe it away, more takes its place. You can see Poe in your mind’s eye, leaning against the trunk of the tree across from you, legs crossed at the ankles. You can hear him chewing on the snack he noisily unwrapped.

You can hear a strange noise, almost like a whooshing, or a whistling as something big moves through the air. You try to open your eyes to look around, but your lids won’t cooperate. You feel something swing past your ear, rustling your hair into your face. A big spiked log heading straight for Poe. You scream his name, trying to move to get to him. The spiked log flattens against the tree and you see his legs go slack. You scream, the sound ripping from your throat in anguish as you struggle against whatever is holding you in place.

“Y/N! Y/N!!” Poe’s voice reaches you. He’s shaking you roughly as you fight against his hands. It takes you a minute to realize he’s the one holding you, and another to pry your eyes open and look at him. He’s blurry, confusingly so, until you realize you’re crying. “Hey, you’re okay. I’m right here.” He says, forcing you to look up at him. “I’m right here.” The tears spill over and he brushes them away with his thumbs, searching your face. “You fell asleep on me.” He says, half a smile on his face. It doesn’t reach his eyes.

“I don’t like it here.” You whisper, throat sore from the scream. “I don’t like it.” You shake your head, dropping it against his chest. His big hand cradles the back of your head, stroking your hair softly.

“I know. Just a couple more days and then we’ll go tell Leia that this planet won’t work.” He promises.

“Except it’s almost perfect.” You groan.

“Not if it’s doing this to you. Hey, look at me.” He says gently, guiding your head back. “Wanna leave? We’ll go back right now.”

You want to. You want to take him up on it so badly. Your hands twitch towards his, but you force them to stay still. “No. We have a mission to complete.” You mumble and he sighs.

“Alright. Just say the word, sweetheart, and we’re gone.” He assures you and you nod.

***

“Know what I would kill for right now?” He huffs, lifting you over a log.

“A more capable partner?” You mutter dully.

“Ice cream. Cold, sweet, melty, chocolate, beebleberry, denta bean.” He hums, wiping his face. “Mmm. Denta bean.” He licks his lips and your eyes are suddenly drawn to them. He’s hot. His face is flushed from sweating and so much hiking. He needs to take a break.

“Hey, hey. Poe.” You grab his arm and he spins into you abruptly. “Sit. You need water.” You tell him, pushing him down onto the ground. He pulls you into his lap with him and you can’t stop the smile that cracks through.

“Are you okay?” He asks, tucking hair behind your ear as you fumble for his canteen.

“I’m fine. I promise I won’t fall asleep this time.” You say.

“You can sleep on me any time.” He huffs. You pick up his canteen and frown.

“Drink.” You insist, holding the skein to his soft lips.

He parts them, allowing the cool liquid to flow in. His dark eyes never leave you as he drinks. After a few seconds, he captures your wrist and lowers it.

“We either need to find a safe water source, or head back to the ship.” You say after a minute. “We’re almost out of water.”

“You’re the boss.” He cracks a smile, adjusting his head against the rough bark.

“Technically, you’re the commander on this mission.” You remind him.

“Oh yeah? Well, technically, you’re smarter.” He admits shamelessly and you roll your eyes.

“Ever have fried ice cream from Corellia?” You ask, shifting to sit back next to him.

“No. Is it delicious? It sounds pointless. Wouldn’t it melt?”

“Nope. They do this thing to it that super freezes it so it only gets a little soft in its crispy shell.” The taste of it, salty and sweet ghosts across your tongue and you clamp down on the sound wanting to escape. “After this is over, we’ll go and I’ll buy you some.” You promise.

“It’s a date.” He says, dropping his hand onto your thigh in the absolute most friendly way possible, but your stomach still flip-flops in your midsection.

“You know, this is the dumbest mission ever. We’ve been sent to a planet that’s never been explored and we’re wandering around aimlessly trying to map it in just a couple days.” You groan.

“Know what I think?” He says, turning his handsome face to look at you.

“That Leia must have been desperate to get you out of her perfect hair? I just don’t see why she had to drag me down with you.” You sigh and he drops his head forward, chuckling.

“You’re so funny.” He says and then lunges, capturing you around your waist and rolling you both into the ground as you shriek. You cling to his shoulders as you land on your back, his hands cradling your head to protect it from the hard ground.

“Jerk.” You huff. Then you blink, seeming to realize just how close his face is to yours. His soft brown eyes are searching yours, his charming smile slowly fading.

Bryce’s smiling face flashes in your mind’s eye and you twist your face away with a groan. He blinks in confusion.

“You weigh a ton.” You protest and a soft chuckle skates across your cheek.

“All muscle, sweetheart.”

“Sure. If muscle here means bantha burgers.” You tease, but it’s fake. Regret settles low in your belly and you’re absolutely not sure if it’s regret at not kissing Poe, or letting it go so far. Unfortunately, Poe Dameron is literally the easiest person in the galaxy to be around.

“Maker, you’re mean when you’re—“ he cuts off and pushes himself off you.

“When I’m what?” You prompt.

“...camping.” He says finally and you know that’s not even close to what he was gonna say.

“We should keep moving. Find some water.” You mumble, pushing yourself up and gathering your things.

“Yeah. ‘Course.” He joins you once more, but this time in silence.

***

His shoulders are tense. Pulled almost all the way up to his ears. His shirt catches at his spine, bunching at the gap at his neck and sticking to the rest of him. He hasn’t spoken in over an hour and you’re terrified that he’s mad at you.

You follow dutifully behind him now, no longer next to him as you were this morning. A dozen times, you’ve opened your mouth to call his name. But then you shrink back, hiding in your own cowardice.

The image of that knife plunging into his chest slams into you full force and you squeak, mouth opening, his name on your lips before you can catch it this time.

“Sh, you hear that?” He asks, holding up his hand to stop you in your tracks.

Bubbling, the sound of a river flowing swiftly. Water. He turns to glance at you before his hand latches tightly onto yours and then he’s pulling. He drags you along, hardly able to keep up. You round the base of a tree and there it is, crystal clear, blue, fast enough to be safe. You quickly mark it on your holopad, noting the direction it’s flowing in. Poe steps forward, but you pull him back, fear twisting you.

“Let me test it first.” You say quietly, avoiding his eyes. You dig into your bag and pull out your kit, dipping it into the water at the bank’s edge. You fill a small vial and dump the tester chemicals into it. You swirl it around as they change colors and you hold it up for him.

“Is blue good?” He asks warily.

“Blue is good.” You confirm and he drops his bag, giving a loud, echoing whoop that disturbs a butterfly resting nearby. He scoops you up in his arms, pulling your bag off and swinging you around as he walks you into the freezingwater.

You shriek, holding onto him as it stings your legs. “Poe!” You protest and he laughs, sinking down to his waist, and Maker, it’s even fucking colder.

“Fuck, it feels so good.” He moans loudly, sinking in up to his shoulders. After the initial shock, you do have to admit that the cool water is lowering your body temperature considerably. You duck under the surface, holding your breath and getting your sweaty hair wet.

You come back to the surface to see him watching you. “Better than ice cream?” You ask and he tips his head back, laughing jubilantly.

“A million times better.” He agrees.

“We should refill.” You say, thinking again. You head for the shore, grabbing both of your canteens and holding them under the water. They fill to the very brim and you screw the lids back on, enjoying the heavy feel of them once again.

“Are you done?” He asks from directly behind you and you jump.

“How do you move so quietly in fucking water?” You ask, turning to face him.

“Special skill.” He says shortly, a toss away answer.

“Poe,” you start. You want to apologize for this morning, the abrupt shut out.

“Sh.” He says, applying just a little pressure to your shoulders until you sink to your knees, shivering in the frigid water. He moves behind you, tipping your head back gently until your neck is stretched as far as it’ll go.

“I’m sorry,” you start again.

“Sh.” He hushes you again, his big hands fill with water and he lets it flood your hair. The cool water instantly dispels the heat in your scalp and it feels so good. Your eyes flutter shut as he keeps doing it. He guides you to lean forward slightly as he pulls your hair out of the way. More scoops of water splash over your burning neck, sending chills down your spine.

You stare at your rippling reflection in the water, Poe behind you, taking care of you. Always fucking taking care of you.

Oh.

Maker, you’re blind.

You blink the tears away, choosing to pretend that it’s the river water. You grab his hand awkwardly from behind you to stop him and you stand up, turning to face him.

Your best friend, probably the only person you’ve ever cared about more than yourself.

“Poe,” you breathe, your fingers curling into the front of his soaked shirt.

Why fight it?

“Y/N?”

You tug, just hard enough to let him know what you want. He moves forward, closing the distance and then your lips are on his. They’re soft, and currently immobile under yours as the shock settles in. But that’s okay. Your hands slide up to hold his face, curling around his ears. You shift, lips moving against his, and he snaps out of it, opening his mouth for you. His hands blaze a trail down to your waist as he pulls you closer, pressing you against his chest. You lick into his mouth as he moans, fingers twisting into your shirt. He kisses you harder, more urgently than you’ve ever been kissed by anyonebefore. Your fingers card through his hair, holding him as close as you can. Your heart is slamming against your ribs at the taste of him.

“Well, what do we have here? Two resistance rats.” A voice says and you jump apart, your heart coming to a dead stop in your chest.

Three StormTroopers stand on either side of the bank, blasters aimed directly at you. Poe reaches for his own blaster, but a laser pointer trained right over your heart stops him.

“Try it. Please. I’m begging you. I haven’t been so bored in ages. A little target practice would be great.” One of them snarks.

“You could probably use it, too.” Poe says before he can stop himself.

“Out.” Another one orders, waving his gun and gesturing.

Poe hesitates. He wants to fight, it’s what he does. There’s only three of them, after all. But then, you’re there, in harm’s way. You think back to your comment this morning about him getting a more capable partner. You’ve never wished for anything harder.

One of the troopers pulls the hammer back, leveling the blaster at you. Poe looks at you, gritting his teeth together before trudging to the edge of the water. You follow, hating that he’s giving up because of you, because you’re so weak. You hate that you got him caught, because you distracted him with a kiss.

And then guilt floods you as your hands are handcuffed behind your back roughly. The kiss. You wonder if it even matters now, you probably won’t make it home to tell Bryce the truth anyway.

But that doesn’t stop the guilt from filling you. You wish you had taken Poe up on his offer to leave this morning. Now you’ve gotten him caught. They nudge you in the direction of the river, downstream and Poe glances over his shoulder at you, his usually warm eyes cold.

You’re a terrible friend.

Chapter 5

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122 notes · View notes

spencessmile · 4 years

Text

Welcome Back Bambi

Pairing - BAU x Reader

Summary - After being away for years, you receive a call that pulls you back home.

Warnings - Team Fluff

Word Count - 2222 words

And all imagines/fanfics/blurbs are written solely by me so please don’t steal my work and post it without my consent. Happy reading!

For the longest time, you knew growing up you wanted to join the FBI. Joining the FBI was the only thing on your mind from a young age. You worked off your butt in university, finally made it to the academy, completed the academy training, and joined the BAU with some of the most profound agents. You had the honor of working alongside Jason Gideon, Aaron Hotchner, and other agents who soon became family.

Years passed until there was this one case that changed your life. You had a stalker that sent you anonymous texts, emails, and packages in the mail. You kept the situation to yourself, hoping to deal with it in your own way. After a while, the emails, packages, and texts stopped, and you were confronted by the stalker one night outside of your house where you were kidnapped, tortured, and shot.

That case took a huge toll on your life and ability to work. While you were ordered to take time off, Unit Chief Gideon left the bureau. You spent lots of time thinking about your time at the bureau and came to the conclusion that leaving would be the best option; at least for now. You handed in your resignation letter four months after Gideon left.

After a year, you received an offer to join the White Collar Crime Department. You needed to get back to work so you agreed without hesitation.

You spent the next 6 and ½ years working with the White Collar Crime Department. It was a far more tough job than you imagined. At the moment of receiving the call, you accepted the job because you were so desperate to get back on your feet. You were a workaholic, sitting at home wasn’t an option for you.

Present Day

It was a cold rainy day in Virginia as you were seated in front of your desk in a small cozy office staring out the window. You should be tackling the stack of paperwork on your desk but your mind kept wandering back to the phone call you received two hours ago. You grabbed your phone and stared at the call log, your finger lingering over the contact number, unsure of what to do.

“Agent Y/L/N, do you have a minute?” Director Jones walked in and shut the door.

“Actually I have loads of paperwork to complete, Director Jones."

"Okay, so you do have time. I need to speak with you,” You sighed as she sat down. “Did they reach out to you?” You knew exactly who she was talking about and where this conversation was going.

“I received a call.”

“And you didn’t come to discuss it with me? Why not?"

"I just received the call two hours ago."

"You should have come to speak with me as soon as you ended that call, Agent Y/L/N."

"I’m swamped with work, Director."

She narrowed her eyes at you almost like she was trying to read what was going on inside your brain. "Are you considering it?"

You sighed. "I haven’t decided yet."

"Will you have a decision by the end of the day?"

"Is that when you need an answer?"

"That’s when the Department needs an answer."

You leaned forward in your chair, folding your hands "Director Jones, when do you need an answer?"

"I’d like one before I step out of your office."

Three weeks later, at Quantico

Everyone was surrounded around Reid’s desk as they stared at the elevator doors. "Is she here yet?” Garcia stumbled into the bullpen.

"Not yet baby girl,” Morgan responded.

“I don’t like change,” Garcia whined.

“Baby girl, change isn’t always bad,” Morgan replied.

“I know, I know. But over the past couple of months, we’ve had a lot of agents come and go. I just want someone to come and decide to stay. I just want her to be nice, that's the biggest thing for me."

"Wait, why do you keep using the pronoun she?” Prentiss asked, raising her eyebrow. “Do you know who it is?"

"I overheard Rossi and Hotch talking the other day but I don’t know who she is. Rossi sounded super excited to have her a part of the team."

The elevator doors opened and everyone’s eyes followed the ding.

"Morning,” JJ smiled. “What are we all doing?"

"We’re waiting for the newest member of the team. Did you see anyone on your way up?” Prentiss asked.

“Nope."

"I need everyone at the round table now,” Hotch orders walking out of his office, Rossi following quickly behind with a very small smirk on his face.

“Looks like we got a case,” Morgan grabbed his coffee cup and followed everyone to the round table.

“What’s wrong?” Reid asked, fiddling with his pencil.

“We’ve had a rough couple of weeks and I know that everyone is anxious to get back out there. I’m also aware that everyone is looking forward to meeting our newest member of the team. Pl-"

"Is she already here?” Garcia cut Hotch off. “Sorry, sir."

"They should be here any minute,” Hotch looked at his watch.

Walking back into the same building brought chills down your back. It brought back bittersweet moments. You flashed your ID card to security and made your way up to the 6th floor. As soon as the elevator doors opened, a wave of nerves wrenched your stomach. You stood outside the glass doors for a couple of seconds.

It’s now or never.

You pushed open the glass doors and your eyes met with the familiar settings. It all looked the same except the desks had changed. The only scent that hadn’t changed was the smell of fresh brewing coffee.

“Can I help you?” You heard someone speak up.

“Hi I’m Agent Y/L/N, I’m here to see Agent Hotchner."

"Ah, he is with the team at the round table. I’ll call him for you.”

“Thank you,” You said as your phone vibrated, looking down there were 3 missed calls from Director Jones and 2 missed calls from Section Chief Erin Strauss. You didn’t want to deal with any of them right now so you turned off your phone, and shoved it in the depths of your purse.

“Oh my god! It’s you. It’s really you! You’re back!” You turned around to see Garcia, she pulled you in for a tight hug. “I can’t believe you're here,” Garcia cupped your face. “I’ve missed you.”

“Hello hello, I’ve missed you too."

"Baby girl, let us hug her too,” You hugged Morgan tightly. “This is such a surprise,” Morgan pulled back.

“I thought I’d never see you again,” JJ said.

“Uh, that would never happen."

Hotch and Rossi both took turns hugging you but there was someone you didn't recognize.

"Agent Y/L/N, this is Agent Emily Prentiss,” Hotch introduced.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” You shook her hand.

“Likewise. I’ve heard lots about you,” She smiled.

You looked around and noticed someone was missing.

“Where’s Reid?” You asked, and Morgan smiled at your question. Back in the day before you left the bureau, Reid and you were the closest on this team. You always got along with him and he was your best friend. After joining the White Collar Crime Department you kept in contact with everyone on the team but it wasn’t the same as being with them every day.

“He’s on a phone call,” Garcia replied.

“Which department did you come down from?” Prentiss asked.

“White Collar Crime Department.” You said, proudly.

“Are you serious? Damn,” Morgan said, surprised.

“It was great, at first. But it’s a lot for anyone to take on."

"Really?"

I nodded. "When Hotch called I was sort of relieved I was getting a way out. Not saying that I’m not blessed to have joined that Department but it was lots of paperwork. Like way too much paperwork."

The team looks over to Rossi.

"Rossi bribes us to do his paperwork,” Emily pointed out.

“Let me guess, allergic to paperwork?” I asked and Rossi just kept a small smile. “I tried that excuse too."

"How did it work out?"

"Oh, it wasn’t in my favor at all," Everyone chuckles.

"Well, now I’m going to spare the rest of the team for a bit and have the newest member do all my paperwork,” Rossi joked and Emily and Morgan cheered, high five each other.

“Sorry Y/L/N you're in for a ride,” Morgan said.

“How is Director Jones doing?” Hotch asked, knowing that she is not most people’s favorite. She's definitely not your favorite, that’s for sure.

“Oh, she is a dream,” You joked and the team laughed. “Same blonde pixie cut wears way too much red lipstick and black eyeliner. Thank you for saving me,” Hotch cracked a very small smile.

“Do you still stay back after everyone leaves?” JJ asked as you nodded.

“You know JJ, some people never change,” Morgan added.

“Y/N?” You heard a voice and saw Reid standing on the catwalk. You looked up and he had the biggest smile on his face. You excused yourself from the team and quickly ran over to Reid.

Last time you remembered, Reid wasn’t much of a hugger but right now he opened his arms for a hug and you jumped into his embrace.

“Oh my god, you're here,” He whispered, squeezing you a little tighter, you didn’t mind at all. “I’ve missed you."

"I’ve missed you too,” You smile, pulling back.

You could feel the eyes of the team watching Reid and you interact from the bullpen.

“Nice hair pretty boy,” You teased him using Morgan’s nickname for Reid. “Did you join a boyfriend part-time or something?” You joked.

“Hotch asked me the same thing last week,” He replied. Reid looked at you for a few moments before saying. “I’m really glad you decided to come back."

"Me too."

All paperwork was abandoned as the team all had their chairs rolled over to your desk wanting to catch up.

“She really did that to you?” Prentiss asked.

“Director Jones is a true gem,” You say. “If you can work with her then I think you can do anything.” Prentiss laughs. “You guys want to know something?”

JJ nods. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this but I missed Strauss while working at the White Collar Crime Department.”

Morgan shakes his head at you. “Nah, did you really just say that?”

“I’m being one hundred percent serious,” You say, sitting up straight. “I’d rather have Strauss to worry about than Jones. That woman made alpha males cry,” You laugh. “It’s like Ursula came to life,” You joke and everyone cracked up.

You looked across the bullpen to see Hotch in the same spot as always, at his desk, finishing up paperwork. After you left you kept up with the team enough to know that they went through some tough times.

“How is Hotch doing after, you know?” You ask.

A couple of months after you left Hotch lost Haley after the George Foyet case. You wanted to come back and visit but you were swamped and couldn’t make any time. Although you did make a phone call, it wasn’t the same.

Morgan looked over at Hotch and sighed. “He took a week off and then he came back.”

“Typical Hotch,” You replied.

“He’s doing alright though.”

“What about you?” JJ asked and you look at her, with a confused look.

“What about me?”

“How are you doing after the stalker case?”

“I’ve been alright,” You reply. “But I was held hostage, and shot a while back.”

“What?” Reid said, putting his hand on your right arm. “Are you okay?” Concerned filled his eyes.

You shook your head. “I’m fine Reid. It was almost a year ago.”

“What happened?” Garcia asked.

“It was a case that went south, really quick. We were getting pressured by the authorities and we had to do something quickly so I put myself in a situation that I knew wasn’t going to end well.” You say. “Spent a few weeks in recovery but I’m all good,” You give them a thumbs up.

You were about to tell another story but Garcia’s phone went off.

"I’m all for happy moments because we never have enough of them but we have a case,” Garcia states, getting up. “Let’s go, wonder girl, it’s time to get those wheels in your brain turning again."

Everyone shuffles into the conference room. Reid stopped when he noticed you didn’t move.

"What’s wrong?” His soft brown eyes, piercing into yours.

"Nothing, nothing. I just uhh -” You looked around and there was a part of you that was glad to be back in a place that was so familiar. "I’m just really happy to be back with you all,” You smile.

“Welcome back Bambi,” Reid said, using a nickname from an inside joke that was formed years ago on the jet on the way home from a very interesting case.

It’s not about where you are, it’s who you have by your side - Unknown

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #bau x reader #BAU #criminal minds #aaron hotchner #david rossi #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #derek morgan #penelope garcia

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theinvisibledreamergirl · 3 years

Text

She’s thunderstorms

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Helena Craig) x M!OC (Clay Banner)

Words count: 2.5 k

Warning: 🔞 content/Language

Category: Angst/AU

A.N: Part two of A Triangle of Love Series. Events after the Sweet dreams, TN fic. Helen is the alter ego of Klaw Craig. Feel free to judge me because now that I’m re-reading it… it’s bullshit and I don’t know what to call this. Especially the song it’s not fitting duhhh. Going to log off after posting it. *sighs*

Song: “She’s thunderstorms” - Arctic Monkeys

MASTERLIST

———————————————————————

She’s thunderstorms

Lying on her front, up against the wall

She’s thunderstorms

Bryce Lahela was right.

She’s like a goddess that entered to this building and blessed my life when I made eye contact with her.

Indeed a blessing.

She was the most incredible woman and everyone would take a bow just for her hand and fulfill all the wishes she wanted.

He couldn’t feel his breath in that short moment when they exchanged looks. Did someone pause his heart and his body? Because surely he had multiple questions as his mind drifted into thoughts.

When did she come here? How did she find him? Where did she work before coming here? Is she alone? But if not, who was with her? The hair colour and style had changed too. From the straight dark brown with bangs had gone into long, wavy light ash blonde hair that seemed to make her a different person.

But her face was still like he left it. Her arched brows that made her confident; captivating eyes with determination; full and inviting lips that always gave him chills when she crooked them into a playful smirk; her strong and beautiful jaw that tilted whenever he teased her or touched with such delicacy that made her gasp into pleasure; her long neck… without his necklace. He almost scoffed. Of course she had taken it off. What was he expecting?

Their bodies pining in the wall in ecstasy and hearing her sounds...

I’ve been feeling foolish, you should try it

She came and substituted the peace and quiet for

Acrobatic blood, flow concertina

Cheating heartbeat, rapid fire

Everything.

He wanted to do everything.

Anytime and anywhere.

With her and only her.

When he saw her hand shaking with another one... he felt a pit into his stomach and a familiar feeling came into his brain.

Mine.

She’s thunderstorms

Lying on her front, up against the wall

She’s thunderstorms

Here is your host, sounds as if she’s pretty close

When the heat starts growing horns

She’s thunderstorms

That greatly but destructive feeling called jealousy was in his veins. He wanted to reach out and twirl her around and to whisper to her:

I’m sorry and I really missed you.

Instead he came with slow and confident steps as if his imagination vanished quickly without so noticing and a small professional smile appeared in his face and she seemed to understand it. One more reason why he loves her.

“Ah Clay here you are,” Simon spoke breaking his trip of memory lane. “I want to present you Dr. Helena Craig the surgeon who’s going to replace Edgar for a while. Helen this is Dr. Clay Banner our future cardiothoracic surgeon.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Dr. Banner… I have heard a lot about you.” It seemed like a lifetime since he had heard her angelic voice that was a symphony in his ears. He held his tears from falling and coughed to fight the strangle voice that was about to let out.

“A pleasure to meet you too Dr. Craig and I can say the same thing about you.”

Something inside of Helen was igniting.

Her flame.

That old flame which burnt her into many pieces and toyed with her body all of those times sharing with him. She couldn’t say that she didn’t miss him. The real him. The one she fell in love with. His adoring face, his soft hands, his broad shoulders where she leaned on and his assuring voice when she felt insecure.

She had mastered perfectly the art of acting and pretending to be satisfied with everything in her life. Little did those people in the room know how her heart was aching miserably and was shattering from disappointment and hurt from the very same man that was just two feet away.

But a baritone and irritating voice seemed to cut off all of that momentary darkness which in fact she thanked him in silence. “Done with the introductions? Great. We’ve got work to do.” Ethan turned his back and started to write in the whiteboard. “The patient is from Manhattan Presbyterian…”

While Ethan was explaining the symptoms, Helen held a transfixed face to all of the theories of her attending and unexpectedly to other colleagues, she started to ask questions which resulted helpful despite being a surgeon. Sometimes she shared thoughts with Clay and even agreeing with them. It was part of the job after all and Clay couldn’t help but feel proud for his woman.

Correction: his ex.

A past tense that he had to learn from now on. But deep inside of him there was a spark of hope that maybe… maybe things would get back to normal. And maybe she would forgive him.

The team was finally dismissed but only two people stayed. Ethan called Helen before she would leave and that made Clay’s blood boiled because all he wanted was to talk to her right after this meeting. He had to try one last card even though it was useless.

“Dr. Ramsey can we talk for a moment?”

“Is there anything wrong Dr. Banner?”

“No j-just,” he stuttered. “Q-questions about the team in general.”

“We will but after I finish a discussion with Dr. Craig if you don’t mind.”

Fuck you.

“Not at all Sir.” He closed the door reluctantly and sighed in defeat.

“What’s the matter Dr. Ramsey?” She asked although she knew damn well why he had called her.

“What are you doing here?” Ethan clasped his fingers as if to stop whatever his mind was blowing now. His ears were still echoing with her words whispering softly.

Thank you for the distraction. I really needed it.

“Starting my job,” she said innocently and shrugged. “Is it irrelevant?”

“Yes, it is,” he nodded and his feet was carrying him over her; something inevitable that no matter what, he couldn’t stop. “I don’t think all of this is a coincidence.”

“Well lucky for you now you’ll have the most trustworthy person in your team that won’t let you down.”

He scoffed while shaking his head. “I highly doubt your confidence.”

“Just wait and see.”

I’ve already seen you.

After their encounter last night Ethan couldn’t sleep. Many times of trying to change and find the perfect position led to nothing but drinking in the balcony that even his dog Jenner didn’t like it and cooed sadly to his owner. What was this woman doing to him? Why he felt so weak in front of her that immediately wanted to bend her over to his desk and scream his name?

“So,” she crossed her arms behind her waist. “How was I?”

He frowned in confusion and god she thought to herself why he had to be such handsome even in that moment. “Hm?”

“In making you feel surprised.”

“Ah that. Well you’ve clearly exceeded my expectations.”

“Wow. So I rendered you speechless then.”

Giggles were ringing in the walls and for the first time in a while Ethan Ramsey smiled at that. It was something so natural that came from her as other people didn’t get his dry humour but she... she was different. It was like a magnet that more and more you get closer, the more attached you become to her.

She’s been loop-the-looping around my mind

Her motorcycle boots give me this kind of

Acrobatic blood, concertina

Cheating heartbeat, rapid fire

He cleared his throat in purpose of changing the subject. “The reason why I called you,” he put his hand in his front pocket to reveal a tiny and shining object that seemed familiar to her. “Does this belong to you?

“Oh my god yes! This is my earring!” Helen exclaimed shockingly while grazing it with her thumb. Apparently had slipped when she whispered in his ear. “I was looking it all over my room but I couldn’t find it anywhere.” Her gaze now was turned back to him in gratefulness. “Thank you.”

Without thinking she closed their distance by enveloping him into a hug. This caught Ethan off guard but now he returned the hug back and closed his eyes while inhaling her perfume. She did the same too and in that moment both of them felt safe on each other’s arms as if they knew where they belonged. The world around them didn’t exist for a few seconds and both of them despite not saying out loud, they wanted to continue it.

She’s thunderstorms

Lying on her front, up against the wall

She’s thunderstorms

“It’s nothing.” He smiled politely when they separated.

“No this is not nothing. I owe you because this earring was really special to me.” She inhaled slowly while considering an option. Taking some risk wouldn’t hurt her? Right? “What do you say uhm- a drink? In this case I can apologise for yesterday’s… thing.”

“You have nothing to apologise for.”

“Sure I have, because to be completely honest Dr. Ramsey… I knew who you were.”

And here he thought that she was just another stranger that thankfully didn’t know him. Now he was feeling raged and betrayed because that meant she wanted to impress him only by her appearance and make a spot here on his team. His authoritative voice came back as if to maintain the last straw of himself.

“You did know who were you talking to?”

“Yeah I did. Now I’m speaking to my attending,” she moved tantalising and confidently just like yesterday. “To my colleague. And,” then tilted her chin while saying. “To a possible friend.”

“For the latter dream on.” He warned her.

She laughed heartedly. “We’ll meet at Donahue’s at 9 PM sharply and don’t be late because I can’t wait more than two minutes.”

His eyebrows narrowed incredulously and crossed his arms to his chest. “I don’t remember accepting your offer. And besides… how do you know my agenda? What if I’m busy?”

“Well I don’t remember taking a no answer from you and I’ve got my sources about your special agenda.” She shrugged innocently. “See you tonight doctor.”

The door was closed but not before throwing a playful wink to him. He let out a laugh while shaking his head in disbelief. This woman was really crazy but it was one of a kind and Ethan Ramsey couldn’t wait to know more about her.

——————————————

Helen wasn’t surprised to see him waiting impatiently in the corner while she was talking with Dr. Ramsey.

What was so important that took them this long? He thought.

Actually that was only five minutes but to him it seemed like five hours already. When she got out he couldn’t help but stare at her not knowing where to start first.

“Helen.”

“Dr. Banner,” the plastered smile didn’t leave her face despite being furious and ready to wipe his ass in front of everyone. “You can go now to Dr. Ramsey. He’s free.”

“Actually, can we talk?” She rolled her eyes. “I won’t make you wait too much. I promise.”

Helen whispered only for the two of them to hear. “You and your promises,” a tackle of her tongue was heard twice. “Aren’t in coherence. I don’t know why should I listen to you. Let me guess- I’m sorry my Helen but I had to step in you to gain my spot here in Edenbrook thanks to my parents who are very powerful and influential people in Boston.”

“I-”

“I’m not finished,” her hardened gaze was evident and he knew he had to stop. “Or how you accepted without so much caring not one but two strange women in your bed while you were fucking drunk. That must’ve been a fruitful threesome huh? Why didn’t you try with a boy too? That would’ve been the cherry on top.” Her words were poisonous and she thought he deserved much worse than these. “Or how your mother has always tried to make me feel miserable in front of everyone when you did absolutely nothing to stop it. Not even moving your finger.”

In an unusual place, when you’re feeling far away

She does what the night does to the day

She was right about everything. He couldn’t disagree with any of the words she said. Helen Craig was rarely found to be wrong.

“I think that our conversation ends here Dr. Banner.”

He grabbed her elbow without thinking twice for his recklessness and made her narrow her eyes in annoyance. “Tonight at Donahue’s bar 9 o’clock and I will explain you everything.”

“Get off me or I’ll scream.” She warned dangerously.

“We both know you can’t.” Clay had no idea where this was leading but he could see the fire into her eyes. “You wouldn’t want people to find out that you had a boyfriend working here huh?”

Look at this prick starting to talk.

“Well well do you need a reminder that my father and my brother can make you beg for your life again?”

The last encounter with the Craig males was one year ago when they found out that this jerk had dumped the most precious thing of their family. Patrick Craig was the first to reach for the drawer to load his gun just in case whereas Brian her brother made sure to find Clay’s location with his advanced knowledge of technology. The end resulted in a bloody and a harsh fight between them and warning the latter to not come any centimeter closer to Helen. And the scar on his neck was still visible after that time.

“That happened once. It can’t happen again,” he grasped her out of his hand. “I’ll be waiting.”

With that he left the ultimatum settled in her hands and keeping it until 9 PM. Helen stayed still like someone had glued her in a position that she couldn’t escape.

She wouldn’t go.

No.

She wouldn’t hear him again and believe his words. But there was such a confidence in his voice that made her scared. Thanks to that she felt the anxiety rising up and panic for what was about to come.

She could easily cancel the plans with Dr. Ramsey and not go to that bar. But when she met him yesterday it felt something different with that share of eye contact.

Despite being half-drunk and exhausted from her flight he had made her forgetting all of her plans and the reason why she came in Boston. It was entirely a new world, a new dimension that she hadn’t explored yet and was eager to find more about this man.

It was unethical but did she care? Not in the slightest. Helen was ambitious and she definitely would possess it. She had to think of a plan how to sabotage this whole thing but how?

The choice she had to make was like a ticking bomb that in one way or another, was going to blast.

She’s thunderstorms

Lying on her front, up against the wall

She’s thunderstorms, thunderstorms, thunderstorms

—————————————————————-

TAGS WILL APPEAR IN A REBLOG!

#open heart #open heart choices #open heart fan fiction #open heart fan fic #my mc #or better the alter-ego of #klaw craig #——>#helena craig #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #clay banner #clay banner x mc #triangle of love series #part two

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jaskiersvalley · 3 years

Text

Shards of Ice

There was a lot of yelling in tags, reblogs and comments about Lambert needing to be loved following this post. You should have been more careful with what you wished for, because before things can get better, they need to get worse. But he gets his happy ending, don't worry.

CW: Suicidal thoughts

The room was cold and dusty but Lambert no longer had the energy to care. It was a room, his room, as barren as it was. He had survived trekking up to Kaer Morhen, at least he wouldn't be exposed to the elements so it was a bit better, even if there was no roaring fire. There wasn't even any wood in his room to start one. It would have to wait. Much like food could wait too, Lambert still had a few rations and some water in his pack, that would see him through the next couple of days while his leg finished healing. He so desperately wished he had something to take for it, even just a root to chew on for the pain but he'd run out of potions a while back and had been too caught in grief to even think about making more. At least he had a bed to lie on, that was better than the cold, hard forest floor. Lambert would take any small fortune as a blessing at that point.

Sleep claimed him and didn't release him until the sun was high the next day. Groggy, stiff from sleeping in his armour, and ravenous, Lambert pushed himself up. In the light of day his room looked no better, still just as empty and stale as when he'd walked in. If he could, he would have gone for a wash, anything to freshen up but his leg protested too much. In the end, he sat on the floor next to his bed, munching on a ration of cured meat, willing himself not to feel.

The others had to know he was back. He'd made enough noise, they probably even saw him approaching. But obviously he had no place in their lives. A dogsbody who was good for making their lives easier but didn't warrant anything in return. Not that Lambert did it to get something. But he'd always thought family looked after each other, took turns picking up the slack when one of them stumbled. As the day wore on and Lambert pulled his bedroll onto his bed for a bit of extra warmth, there was only one conclusion he could draw. While he had counted Geralt, Eskel and Vesemir as his family, they didn't think of him in a similar fashion.

On his own with his thoughts, Lambert had the chance to mull it all over. He had been a fool to think his fellow Witchers would consider him part of their family unit. Not even Lambert's own flesh and blood had done that. Just because Destiny threw them in the same cooking pot didn't mean were all part of the same cake. Though Aiden had been different. He had seen Lambert, all of him and decided that he was worth something. Desperate fury at the unfairness of it all had Lambert's lips wobbling even if tears were beyond him. He raged against his lot in life and the fact that the one possible good thing had been ripped from him. Nobody wanted Lambert and, when he found someone who did, they were violently snatched from his grasp.

With nothing do do but sleep and heal, Lambert didn't bother keeping track of the days. While his food and water lasted he would be okay. And when it ran out, he'd decide what he wanted then. Time stopped existing for Lambert, he was either asleep or wallowing in misery. It wasn't like anyone actually cared that his behaviour was very unbecoming of a Witcher, let alone a fully grown man. Lambert figured that if nobody wanted him at his best, it didn't matter what he was like at his worst.

A soft knock woke him from his slumber. It was better to sleep than get lost in his head. Why someone would try to take his only solace from him was beyond Lambert and he woke with a snarl. His leg still pulsed with pain, his room was still cold though he had managed to somewhat air it while the sun was high so it was maybe a little less chilly.

"Lambert?" Eskel's voice called as the door opened. "You missed breakfast again."

All Lambert heard was that he hadn't provided breakfast once again. He'd been back for probably a few days but soft foods and warm honey hadn't magically appeared on the breakfast table for the others. Well, it served them right.

"Go away!" He growled low in his throat.

"I just wanted-"

"Fuck off!" Lambert didn't let Eskel finish. Whatever Eskel wanted, he could get for himself. "I don't want you! I don't need you! Just leave me the fuck alone!" He threw his gloves at the door, followed by his bracers which clanked loudly against the wood, barely missing Eskel's face.

For the first time in his life, Lambert got what he asked for. The door closed again and he was alone. A strangled scream mixed with a sob in his throat and he curled up on the bed, heart and chest aching worse than his leg.

Time had no meaning, Lambert stayed curled up under his blanket, eyes open but not seeing. He'd had enough. Enough pain, enough rejection, enough loneliness. His rations were dwindling but he couldn't even find it in himself to finish them off. There was no point, it would only prolong his suffering.

Another soft knock on his door but he didn't even bother acknowledging it. He was done, the others could get on with their happy little family, they didn't need Lambert in any capacity, that had become obvious in the last few days.

The door opened and Eskel stepped in, an armful of logs and a bag of kindling in hand. He didn't say anything but got a fire going and left. The warmth of the room didn't reach Lambert's heart. He stayed where he was, even when Vesemir stepped in, a bucket of steaming water and a couple of wash cloths. Lambert didn't even have it in him to growl when hands methodically stripped him and wiped the worst of the Path's grime from his body. Fingers deftly worked the bandage on his leg open and, like when Lambert was a kid who'd scraped his knee, the injury got tutted over. Vesemir left and Lambert wondered whether he was such a disappointment that the fact he couldn't even heal from a simple bite had sent the man he'd once considered his father figure turning away in disgust.

For some reason Vesemir was back with a tray. It smelled like medical supplies but Lambert couldn't understand why. Firm hands worked over his leg, cleaning out the wounds, wrapping them. Finally, a vial was tipped against Lambert's lips and he swallowed, hoping it was poison to put him out of his misery. He fell asleep with the sweet bitterness of the potion still on his tongue and decided that maybe this wasn't such a bad way to go.

Unfortunately he woke up again. This time Geralt was in his room, a bowl of broth warming by the hearth. Lambert finally found his words.

"What the fuck do you want?"

He pretended not to see the way Geralt flinched and looked away. It filled him with a sense of perverse satisfaction, knowing that he repulsed his, well, Geralt wasn't his brother, not anymore. Not that he ever was actually.

"Eat," Geralt said, grabbing the warm bowl and holding it up. When Lambert made no move to take it, he fiddled with the spoon. "I can help feed you if you need."

Growling, Lambert snatched the bowl, ignoring the way it was so hot his fingers almost burned. The broth was good, seasoned with his favourites, not that the others would know, they never bothered to ask him. Still, it slid down his throat and warmed his belly, so close to his still stone cold heart.

Anger bubbled in Lambert's chest. The others couldn't even leave him be to make a dignified exit from this world. For some cursed reason now was the time they decided to bring Lambert back, even as he fought tooth and nail to be left. From then on, Lambert never woke alone. There was always someone in his room, never once commenting on his nightmares. Maybe they didn't notice, or thought it was just Lambert's regular dreams.

"Who is Aiden?" Eskel asked one night when Lambert woke, heart in his throat. "You call out for him a lot."

It wasn't something Lambert wanted to answer. He didn't want to trust Eskel with Aiden's memory. It wasn't something he had earned. However, each time Eskel was there and Lambert awoke from a fresh nightmare, he was asked the same question. There was only so many times that Lambert could hear those words before he snapped. At first it was just a gruff "nobody" then a "none of your business" to "a friend". It went on and on like that until Eskel had the full story, with Lambert held close to his chest and shaking like a new born foal.

When Lambert finally left his room, it was with Geralt hot on his heels. Something told Lambert that he knew about Aiden too. Those suspicions were only confirmed when, in the kitchen, Geralt casually said, "I'll come with you in the spring. We'll avenge him."

By the time spring came round, Lambert didn't feel quite so hollow. His heart had started to thaw out but the clump of ice that sat heavy in his chest could barely be called a heart anymore. Over the winter he'd been shown what it could have been like to be part of a family, to be wanted but he couldn't quite connect with the others anymore. The trust he'd offered had been twisted and warped until it was nothing more than a burnt silhouette of what it had once been.

Lambert was no fool. He knew Geralt travelled with him not just for revenge but also for Lambert's safety. It wasn't like Lambert was going to throw himself at the first chort he found. That was not how he wanted to go. But the others didn't care to listen to him in that respect. In a way, nothing had changed in that regard. Lambert's voice was still one to be ignored.

Winter came round quicker than expected. Lambert and Geralt turned north to Kaer Morhen and trekked up the mountain. There was smoke meandering through the air from the fires that had already been lit. It wasn't the Lambert had wanted to come back but he had nowhere else to go either. At least in the old keep he could actually survive winter in relative safety.

"Welcome home boys," Vesemir said as he stepped out the greet them, hugging Lambert first, then Geralt. "Eskel is already home and he's brought a guest with him."

Distantly, Lambert wondered how Geralt would react to Eskel having a guest. And maybe he was a little jealous that Eskel, despite his scars and menacing build, could find someone to winter with so easily. There was only one person Lambert had ever considered inviting home but that had only been a fleeting hope of the past, Destiny had made sure to quash it without hesitation.

"Lamb?" A familiar voice called and Lambert's whole chest hurt. His mind was cruel to play such games, taunting him with the one thing he couldn't have. "Lambert!"

A body barrelled into Lambert, arms wrapping around him tightly. Lips pressed against Lambert's and he tried to see who was stupid enough to mess around with him like that. It wasn't Eskel, his arms felt heavier around him. Eyes open for the kiss, Lambert saw an eyepatch and, as his assailant pulled away, a familiar green eye.

"Aiden." The word was a broken whisper of hope and disbelief. Lambert's hands cupped Aiden's cheeks, held him in place to be inspected, admired and committed to memory. "I thought you'd died. I'd avenged you."

"You're a real darling, thank you for that." Aiden smiled and placed his hands over Lambert's, warm palms holding glove covered ones in place. "But, by some twist of fate, I survived, more or less intact. Took a while to recover, Eskel found me in some remote temple, being healed by some monks. Dragged me back here as soon as I was able to make the journey."

Hands slipping from Aiden's face, Lambert pulled him in for a tight hug, eyes squeezed shut tight. He let Aiden go but only as far as keeping an arm wrapped around his waist. From where he stood, he looked over to the other three Wolves, standing together and watching them. Maybe, just maybe, they were more of a family than Lambert had dared hope. He wasn't certain yet, needed more time to accept that. But, for the first time in a long time, he had he spark of hope flickering in his heart.

#lambden #minor geralt/eskel #lambert #eskel #geralt of rivia #vesemir #aiden #cw: suicidal thoughts #tldr: lambert loses all hope before it comes back

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meruz · 3 years

Text

Aforementioned long ask post please excuse me while i try to figure out tumblr's new text editor. I’ll get into the art meme questions first and then the rest at the end.

Ok first of all thank you all for sending in questions! Giving me an excuse to talk hehe. I’ll address these in number order. Here’s a link to the ask meme for reference but also I’ll restate the question for ease of reading.

1. When did you get into art?

Super cliche answer but I don’t remember a time where I WASN’T the weird art kid! I started keeping a dedicated sketchbook when I was about 12? But here’s a page from my kindergarten journal about what I want to be when I grow up.

2. What art-related sites have you ever signed up for?

LOL this is a weird question. Not sure why so many people want to know. Anyways I definitely had a dA. more than one dA account. I used to browse oekakis when I was a kid but I think I was only signed up to some small ones that internet friends owned. What else...? Mangabullet,Tegakie, Paintberri, iscribble back when that was a thing, instagram if that COUNTs, I used to post art on livejournal and dreamwidth too. Patreon, I guess. Gumroad, inprnt, bigcartel, storenvy all for selling stuff.

In terms of resources.. I have a schoolism account that I’m sharing with friends. Used to take classes on coursera for free. I signed up to textures.com for work recently haha. I can’t remember if I ever had an account on posemaniacs. Did they have accounts...? I definitely used to visit all the time.

3. Show us your oldest piece of art you have on hand.

Alright here’s me actually logging into my old deviantart account. These are from September 2008 So I was 13 years old. I don’t have a deviantart account from before then because 13 was the required age for having an account and I didn’t want to lie about my age because I wanted people to be impressed by how young yet clearly incredible at art I was LOL.

4. What defines your artistic style?

You guys are probably more equipped to answer this than me but uh... I wanna say... Focus on colors. And... a slightly heavy hand? Like confident... not always well-considered mark making HAH...

Also I think I have a pretty healthy mix of american comics/manga influences. I feel like people who are into american comics always think my art is too manga and people who are into anime/manga always think my art is too american. And I’m taking that as a good sign.

5. Do you practice other styles/have you tried other styles in the past?

I like to think I switch it up a bunch! I mean, these are pretty different, right?

I think I’ve mentioned this before but one thing I really took away from art school is that, for an illustrator at least, art style shouldn’t be consistent. Your greatest weapon is changing the aspects of your style based on the task, the emotions and message you want to illustrate etc. So depending on the project I’m working on, the fandom I’m drawing for, whether I want something to be funny or serious or dramatic, I’ll change things about my style all the time.

One thing I don’t rly post on here is really tight polished work and that’s because I do that for my day job haha. If you’re not paying me... I’m probably not gonna color in the lines.

6. What levels of artistic education have you had?

I have a whole ass diploma LOL. Bachelor of Fine Arts in Illustration. from the Rhode Island School of Design. And I had a great college experience tbh. Besides the student loans. If any of you guys are thinking about art school feel free to e-mail or message me questions or concerns, I’ll be happy to help. Be as honest as I can be.

7. Show us at least one picture you drew or sketched recently that you did not put on a public site.

heres the wandavision kids. Uhh what else do I have...I feel like I’m rummaging for loose change here...

assorted valentines prep doodles

8. What is your favourite piece that you have done?

Well, obviously this is gonna change all the time and generally it’s gonna be my most recent piece LOL. So yeah, why the hell not. I’ll say it’s this one. I have a pretty short memory which I count as a blessing for an artist. I don’t dwell that long on older work and it keeps me moving forward.

10. What do you like most about your art?

I like that it’s something that only I would make! I had this thought fairly recently and I wrote it down in my sketchbook, it’s pretty cheesy and rambling but it felt revolutionary at the time:

So yeah. I like my art best when it’s the most me and for me. And I like it least when it feels like I’m just making something for social media or for other people’s expectations or whatever.

14. What do you like drawing the most?

Kids in baggy clothing are like my go-to LOL idk if that’s obvious. but also I like being challenged so lately I’ve really loved drawing multi-character compositions, environments, weird angles, etc.

oh i LOVE drawing the underside of shoes lol. And bandages. People that are kinda beat up.. I think it comes from getting a bunch of cuts all the time. I’m always patching myself up and I want to patch characters up too.

15. What do you like drawing the least?

mmm I try to find something to like in every drawing but lets see... I don’t like doing commissions of people’s dogs. Just because it’s normally like... a family friend and my mom volunteered me without my consent and I don’t even really know what they’re expecting me to draw and I don’t even get to meet the dog. Also I’m not that great at dog anatomy. Trying to learn though.

18. What is your purpose for drawing?

This could have a million answers! Uhhh to GIT GOOD??? But also to express myself... and also to make money... I mean it depends on what the drawing IS. I draw fanart mostly to connect to people in the fandom so if you ever see me drawing fanart please take it as like an open invitation to talk to me about the character haha.

20. How would you rank your art? (poor, mediocre, good, etc.)

Good!!! I have a lot of self-confidence primarily born out of ignorance and a short attention span. If I don’t think too hard about how many other artists are mindblowingly unfathombly good... its easy to think I’m good too! LOL

In all seriousness though, I think the opinion a person has of their art is like a crazy balancing act, right? Like you have to think you suck enough to want to get better but also you have to think you’re good enough to not want to give up. I think we’re all walking that line, I know I am! But also I’m a glass half-full type of person so. Most of the time I feel good about it.

22. List at least one of your “artspirations.”

This is a good question because I’ve been trying and failing to put together one of those “influence map” memes for like a full month now. What’s giving me a hard time is I feel like none of these are actually really obvious “““influences”““ in my art? Like it’s hard to see a lot of them in the work I make...? But idk maybe you guys’ll see what I can’t.

And these are just a couple! God there’s so many more. I could talk about other artists for ages, from all different genres of art. Daumier, Rockwell like every illustrator out there, Dana Gibson, Alex Toth, Hiroshi Yoshida, a lot of the Brandywine School. Lots of current working artists too, Karl Kerschl, frikkin Masashi Kishimoto lol, Jake Wyatt, Richie Pope, Edouard Caplain, Matt Cook, Sachin Teng, - lots of big internet artists, Sophie Li, Freddy Carrasco, Milliofish, Angela Sung... like all my friends from art school too. I could just keep going but I’ll stop for now lol.

24. Do you have a shameful art past? (recolour sprite comics, tracing art, etc.)

I mean if that’s how we’re defining shameful?? sure LOL. It’s not sprite comics but I used to do pokemon sprite recolors all the time. And I used to trace manga panels and color them... Granted this was all when I was like under 12 yrs old so it’s not even embarrassing. Can you really call it shameful when a 7 year old wets the bed or whatever? Not really. In fact some of these are cool as fuck. Look

25. Draw a picture!

Man I’m so tired now but here.

I used to get a lot of compliments for drawing people smiling lol but I don’t think I’ve drawn a lot of smiling lately.. here’s proof I’ve still got it.

OK MEME DONE. onto the rest.

I read this ask first thing when i opened my computer in the morning and it made me really emotional.. I’m so glad my sketches could help you!!

I think a lot of artists on social media talk about the struggle of making art but imo not enough people talk about the joy! Like I know it’s corny but. I really meant what I said at the beginning of that sketchbook about re-contextualizing art around process and progress > product and perfection. I think its super important..! The strength of messy, unfinished, and energetic art! For the feeling of it, for the love it!

That's crazy!!! I hope you like 'em. The whole line of x-books is really good rn imo.

Hi! I totally have the answer for digital stuff on my faq lol. But in terms of drawing on paper.. it varies! I tend to use sketchbooking and any on-paper doodling I do as a way to loosen up/warm-up or experiment. But right now my go-to aresenal is:

from top > bottom

- kuretake no.55 doublesided brush pen

- tombow fudenosuke

- muji 0.38 ballpoint

- medium size poscas

- grey tombow double brush pens

- good ol bic mechanical pencil

not EXACTly sure which inking you referring to from my sketchbook but if I had to take a guess it'd probably be the kuretake no55. That's been my main inker, lately. Great for sketching with the thin end too.

You can print out and eat my art if you like. Just please don't mass produce or re-sell. <3

Thanks! I've come to accept that my art is always gonna be sort of gestural and painty naturally. It's getting it to tighten up enough to be legible that's hard lol...

uh yeah lol I agree actually. I think yolei is great.

I assume these asks are related? LOL

1) Yeah totally true. I love David.

2) I don’t take requests, sorry! But if you want to commission me to draw Legion i would be MORE than happy to. Just e-mail me at [email protected].

<33333333333333333333333333

#ask #anonymous

66 notes · View notes

nightswithkookmin · 3 years

Note

With the grammy bomb im more than certain that there is a strain between jikook. They do interact but in a way that is so aloof. Their habitual gravitating towards one another doesnt happen anymore. And im talking about all the recent stuff from october onwards. Jk purposefully rear towards other members and i find jimin to be only open towards namjoon. All of his other interactions on cam are to make sure that everything is fine between him and others. And jk purposefully ignores or avoids jimin and doesnt have that unrestrainable affection towards him anymore. I say all this as a longtime jikook supporter. Honestly even if they had their 'fighting' periods i have never seen jk this dismissive. At least jimin isnt as affected as before. I dont understand how no supporter is admitting the obvious distance of jk.

Why are you being mean to me though😭

Please read my blogs. I think I have talked about this topic several times now.

May be I spoke 'too soon' before the loud moments that make these things obvious to most but still, I've addressed it nonetheless.

I feel if I respond to this, I'd just be repeating myself over and over at this point and frankly it gets boring for the people that read me- I think. Lol. I mean, once I start I never shut up. Lmho. So sorry in advance.

I agree with everything you've said, as well as all the observations you've made. I'm with you on it. Except, you made no definitive conclusions I could agree on, rebut, or share an opinion on. There is a strain on their relationship..... therefore? Lol.

I don't mean this in a rude way. I just don't think it's enough to point that out without drawing conclusions- unless you are simply taking notes of those moments? Or are you concluding that the strain is a sign Jikook are fighting, having problems or that they have broken up?

Not every tension between Jikook is a bad thing if you ask me or even as a result of them having issues in their relationship. This is something I keep regurgitating in my blogs. Not to say they don't have issues, they do. Hell, I get dragged by my roots on these streets for saying they fight, or even break up sometimes like any real couple would. They are real and they have real couple's problems sometimes too like any regular joe.

I'm glad you pointed out though, that Jimin doesn't seem as affected by JK's 'dismissive' attitude as before. Shouldn't that tell you that is a sign there is nothing wrong with their relationship this time around? Jikook is not one sided. JK isn't the only party to their relationship, neither is Jimin. They have an equal and sometimes opposite reaction to each other. One person's attitude or change in attitude tends to produce a ripple effect on the other. In my opinion.

If JK were to be 'dismissive' at all, it would emotionally and physically impact Jimin and he would have a reaction to it like he did in run 106. Compared to this, he didn't seem at all affected by JK's 'attitude' just as you've pointed out.

As I said a while ago, I honestly don't think or believe they are fighting or that they are broken up either- not to me anyway. Lol. I mean you could still pretty much see the intimacy between them in that footage. Jikook don't need to engage in skinship or overt and loud interactions to show they are intimate. And most times their overt and loud skinship and interactions are devoid of intimacy. That's the thing about intimacy, you can't fake it or hide it.

Jimin turning towards JK in his fit of excitement is a sign of intimacy between them regardless of whether he actually hugged JK or not. Then later on the couch, you could see him yearning for JK.

There were three people in that room- may be more if you count staff and yet JK was the only one Jimin seemed to want an answer from.

He was the one Jimin was emotionally inclined towards. The one who's comfort and affection he sought after- bless his heart, he hit his head on some solid rock knees and everything trying to pursue his need for physical closeness and affection from JK. If they were broken up or fighting, he wouldn't go to JK for his emotional needs.

He could try and 'interact' with JK, do the fanservice bit with him but he wouldn't go to him with his emotional needs- that would be inappropriate and unfair to JK. Jimin is an emotionally intelligent guy and he has a lot of thoughts and consideration for people's feelings and he is well aware of his limits and just how much he can push or get away with.

And I cite his Log with JK, where he announced he had started developing feelings for JK and then turned to JK to ask if he was ok with him saying that much on camera.

Thus, if he is emotionally 'gravitating' towards JK then it's indication there is a level of intimacy and a mutual understanding between them that JK fulfills an emotional need and ought to fulfill that emotional need for him.

And yes, I agree. Him hesitating when he wanted to hug JK is a sign there is something stressing their dynamics which is something I pointed out when that Grammy reaction video first came out. I knew something was stressing their dynamic but I couldn't figure out what because it was a very short video with not much going on in there.

The behind the scenes however, chilee. Lol.

I mean if you consider the fact JK went from moving a distance to console Jimin when he was crying on stage during the October ON:E concert, and you look at all the moments we've had from their overt flirting in 2021 season's greetings, the sexual innuendos in the BE behind scenes video, JK sniffing Jimin's hair in the Be unboxing video to that moment on the couch when Jimin hit his head on JK's knees- that shit look like it hurt. Damn. JK what is your knees made of! Lmho.

I am uncomfortable discussing a Jikook era or phase when it's on going on. I like to simply take note of certain moments and discuss them in post by reconstructing the timeline to place content in its rightful timeframe.

I can only share with you my working theory on such moments and for the most part, like I said previously I feel Jikook- especially JK is having issues with the company. Perhaps because the company stumbled on something they weren't supposed to see.

As for Jikook's personal development, I think we all saw this development coming, didn't we? After JM's birthday fiasco? I think I hypothesized at the time that whoever was in the 'wrong' in that situation would come swinging hard on their Jikook agenda in the aftermath. And with that whole GCF Tokyo reference, signing his name to JK's name at the pop up, the stealing looks at JK during interviews, checking him out left right left, trying to make Jk 'jealous' with RM at the Be press con red carpet, it's not hard to figure out who did what in that birthday situation.

I plan on writing a blog on this very topic, because I've received quite a few Asks about my thoughts on JK outing Jimin, military service and others that I find intriguing and want to discuss but I also want to discuss Vminkook dynamics, Jikook boundaries and I don't know which one to get into first. When I'm torn between options I end up not making a choice at all. Lol.

All I can say in regards to Jikook and their on going 'situation' is that- I love it. Lol. I love their dynamics, I love where they are at in their love journey, I love where they are heading. Jikook is just beautiful in every sense of the word.

I love what JK is doing. I love where he has gotten my bias to- which is confronting himself and figuring out what he wants from their relationship. Because, honestly you can't have your cake and eat it. It just doesn't work that way.

What you are seeing is just JK asserting himself against Jimin I'm afraid. It's the push and pull thingy all over again.

I keep talking about 'the boy in love with Jungkook' being a facade and persona Jimin hides behind to love JK and most people don't understand.

JK's persona is not the boy in love with Jimin. It's the boy cold and shy who rejects Jimin- well at least that was the persona he had in their early dynamics around debut.

He has since shed that persona and the bold, fearless, assertive JK we see on the screens is him choosing to unapologetically express his love and feelings for Jimin. And jimin enjoys that.

But you take a look at Jimin, and you don't see that drastic change in his persona or the way he expresses himself with JK- I mean let's call a spade a spade.

Do I think Jimin loves JK? Absolutely. Do I think he is being authentic in the way that he expresses those feelings to JK on camera? Only to an extent.

It's obvious who Jimin is to JK or even the way he expresses himself and his love for JK is slightly different off camera than the persona we see on our screens. For one, clearly JK is not used to seeing Jimin prioritize others over him or be overly affectionate with others besides him. I mean it's been seven years. Ten, if you count the periods before. You'd think JK would get used to JM doing skinship with others or showing affection for the others especially since they've lived together over half of the time and yet here we are, frying pans away from the apocalypse whenever any member breaths near Jimin. Damn JK. Lmho.

Do I think his persona is slightly exaggerated? Yes. But I also think JM downplays his love for Jk with his 'Mr I'm available' personality, his Kumbaya attitude, and his I'm just a nice guy on the block character, which often leads to people questioning whether or not he treats JK different from the group. Don't get me wrong JK does this too.

Jimin loves JK. But at this point the question is is he expressing that love in the way that meets JK's emotional needs? Is he allowing JK to love him and express the love he feels for him in the way that makes him happy?

I think that's what the birthday fiasco is all about.

If you don't want JK openly showing and expressing his love for you in a way that he wants to and in a way that holds meaning to him and makes him feel fulfilled as well in the relationship then what is the point of him holding on to the glass closet?

Two can play that game. Lol.

It's JK's needs above the groups and I feel he is putting it right up there next to JM's needs because they are both valid.

You should have seen JK's face when Jimin decided tell the truth about his location on September 1st in that BB press interview.

I remember pointing out that when JM started that narration with the first person pronoun he was going for a well curated narrative perhaps one the group had agreed on prior to avoid confirming his location on the JK's birthday like they had tried to do during the VLive but dropped that and went with the honest truth the moment he started talking about being with Jk and using 'we' instead of 'I' in his speech.

I'm glad the interviewer from his Weverse magazine interview confirmed and pointed out this tell or habit of Jimin when he speaks,

"When he’s talking, Jimin often starts his sentence with phrases like, “I just,” “it just,” “they just …” But then he immediately goes on to open up about his feelings, always providing a sincere response."

At least now we know for sure he wasn't lying about his location- for all those who called him a liar.

Anywho, my point is it makes JK happy when Jimin expresses his love and feelings for him. But it also makes him happy when he is able to show the world just how much JM means to him.

He didn't get those tattoos for nothing. He didn't do the GCFs for nothing. He didn't nibble on his ear in front of thousands of people for nothing- had he posted for Jimin on his birthday, given how he hadn't done that for anyone in a year, it wouldn't have been for nothing either. In my opinion.

When I tell y'all Jimin is gonna wake up one day with JK's ring on his finger and he wouldn't know what hit him. Chilee. Lmho.

Listen, JK is in love LOVE with Jimin. It's my opinion and I'm gonna treat it as fact because I believe it- if you disagree keep it to yourself. I don't wanna hear it. Lol.

That boy is in love with my bias. Ain't nobody gonna tell me nothing. Lol.

Seriously though, JK loves Jimin and he loves expressing those feelings for him. He goes overboard sometimes with it to the point it's borderline outing but we don't talk about that. Lol.

He's progressed through out the years from hiding his feelings for Jimin, whispering I love you's to JM when he thinks JM is alseep, slipping matching plasters onto his finger, all the way to Rosebowl.

If you ask me, he wants to be Jimin's equal in every sense of the word and as much as he loves to be at the recieving end of JM's affections, he enjoys being at the giving end.

And if JM has the cover of 'the boy in love with the Maknae' and it works perfectly for him not just as a persona but the perfect excuse for loving Jk then you gotta wonder what cover JK equally has for loving JM the way that he does. He has none. His every move is questioned by members, by staff, by fans- why do you film Jimin so much, why not put Tae in there for clicks, why are you constantly with Jimin and other invasive questions like that.

Jimin gets away with a lot of things than JK because of his personality and his persona. People would question the things JK does most of the time while dismissing the things Jimin does as either fanservice or as flowing from his personality. Whereas JK cannot get away with those same things.

We paint JK as Jeonlous and possessive but we forget most times he acts that way so Jimin doesn't have to. Jimin has said he doesn't share his friends and yet somehow we think he is ok with sharing his boyfriend with 5 other members or those 5 members with his boyfriend- this is code, let it sink in.

There is a lot of boundaries he instills there and it's equally an expression of possessiveness. Yet it's so subtle you might not even notice.

Jk makes Jimin look cool. He takes the fall so Jimin doesn't have to. When JK takes a step back that's when you see how whipped JM is- the neediness, the clinginess- PJMs give me a break. *rolling my eyes. It needs to be said. I love Jimin too but shit, it is what is. Lol.

I think it's gonna take a while for Jk to open back up to Jimin, to get in the space where he feels safe expressing himself with Jimin the way that he was doing before Jimin's birthday.

It doesn't mean he hates Jimin or doesn't love him or doesn't want him or doesn't care. But I think Jimin needs to step up to show he is on the same page as JK because JK is all about reciprocity. He ain't about to do the one sided unrequited nonsense. Lol.

Honestly all this is part of Jikook's dynamics. This not the first time Jk's closed himself off. The last time he did it was because they had gone through a nasty breakup- I said what I said. In my opinion nonetheless. Lol.

In the aftermath of it, he was expressing similar behavior. In Suga's Birthday Vlive this year for example, when Jimin was clinging to him and had his hands on his leg he didn't take the bait either- man was it frustrating to watch. Lol. But you could see JM wanted that physical connection with him. Did you see his smug face when Jimin was all over him?

I think he is just going through a phase where he needs reassurance of Jimin's love. Jimin is a big guy and he knows his man best and I think he knows exactly what he needs to do to get him to come around. Lol.

I mean he flew all the way from Paris to see him on his birthday didn't he?

I think we have to leave them to it. Just observe them. I hate commenting on a phase like this especially when it's on going. I'd rather talk about it after it's ended and a new phase has begun for them.

Part of supporting Jikook is knowing when to give them privacy and room to just unfold their story and be human. They are a living breathing love story after all.

Jk isn't being distant. He is just not interacting with JM the way we are used to seeing him do. But I feel that's part Bighit asking them to cool off and part him just wanting reassurance from Jimin.

At this point, I want to ask why you want people to acknowledge JK is closed off? To what end? I don't think anyone is denying that they are going through this phase- well the Kumbaya tradshippers are but why do you want me to acknowledge this fact? I already pointed out that there is something stressfing their dynamics.

They have their own personal stuff going on but I don't think it's much of an issue and at the same time they seem to be having issues with their company- You have to take all of that into consideration to see how that affects their dynamics as well.

You have to be aware of the timeline too. Because content is not released in chronological order, it may seem like a rollercoaster ride when in actual sense all of this may have happened with a specific time frame.

When it comes to Jikook always assume they are much closer than you think. Jikook is fine, I believe. Just take mental notes of these things for posterity. I wouldn't be worried about them.

As usual, this has been my opinion. Don't take it too seriously. Keep supporting Jikook. Jikook is real.

Signed,

GOLDY

69 notes · View notes

hockeylvr59 · 4 years

Text

Secret Love Part 10 || Cale Makar

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: This is an important and super fluffy chapter. It’s taking me a bit longer to write now that school is back so updates will be slower but I am obsessed with sharing this story with you guys and all of the feedback means the world to me. A photoset of all of the sightseeing locations will be posted immediately following this update and as always will be tagged ‘038′

Warnings: cursing

Word Count: 3,695

~~~~

You started your day - for the second time - when Cale’s thumb brushed over your cheek and his lips ghosted over yours. As your eyes cracked open, you realized he was standing beside the bed already fully dressed.

“Time to get up sunshine...we have a busy day of exploring ahead of us.” He chuckled as you groaned, stretching lazily as your brain struggled to wake up. A glance at your phone revealed that it was 5:45 in the morning, not even two hours since you fell back asleep. “Get up and get dressed and we can go get coffee and breakfast.” Cale lured, smiling so brightly that you wanted to smack it right off of his face.

Fifteen minutes later, you were pulling on socks and a pair of hiking sneakers while Cale finished throwing things into the backpack he’d brought as a carry-on. You had already pulled on the pair of leggings, t-shirt, and fleece that Cale had laid out for you and had quickly fixed your hair adding a combo foundation/sunscreen to your face so that you didn’t look entirely dead.

Sliding out of the hotel room, you stopped down at the continental breakfast for sustenance and coffee. Not long after that, you were sliding back into the rental vehicle as Cale tossed the bag in the backseat and loaded up an address into his phone’s GPS.

“So can I ask where we’re going?” You inquired, yawning as you looked over at your boyfriend.

“We’re doing the Golden Circle today...but starting with a little bit of a detour first.” Despite your look to continue, Cale didn’t add anything else to that. Instead, he handed you his phone with Spotify open so that you could pick the music for the trip.

For the next 45 minutes, you jammed out while looking out the window as the views of Iceland passed by. It was too early to have any form of intelligent conversation but as always the silence was comfortable. Eventually, Cale pulled into a parking lot and climbed out of the car, grabbing the backpack from the backseat.

“You ready for a hike?” He questioned, lacing his fingers through yours.

“Let’s do it.” You agreed, hoping your body was prepared for what you were about to put it through. It was a brisk, 14 degrees Celsius/57 degrees Fahrenheit outside but with your layered clothing it was comfortable.

The start of the hike was relatively flat and continued a good distance before you descended down the hillside and through a stone archway. Continuing your descent you reached a river, one you evidently had to cross to continue. Slipping off your shoes and socks, you rolled your pants up. With Cale behind you, you grabbed onto the guidewire and started making your way across the rocks until you reached a log halfway across. Reaching the other side of the swiftly flowing river, you threw your shoe laden hands up in the air in triumph.

“That was...an experience.” You mused, taking a towel Cale offered to dry off your feet before sliding back into more proper footwear.

“Now comes the hard part....up.” Cale declared, taking the towel from you to dry off his own feet.

“I was afraid you were going to say that.” You joked, stretching to peck his lips. “Just...don’t let me fall.” You pleaded lightly.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Cale promised. “And the view will be worth it.”

Sharing sips from the bottle of water Cale had brought, you started the long ascent. Holding the ropes as you climbed, you made slow but steady progress. Without you saying a word about it, Cale slowed down his pace when you needed him to and he reached out a hand to help when the next step was just a little too far or too high. Climbing over some particularly high rocks, Cale had one hand in yours while his other guided you up by your waist, and you stumbled half a step, your chest pressing against his as a anxious giggle spilled from your throat.

By the time you reached the first marker point you were in desperate need of more water and eagerly took the bottle as Cale pulled it out of the backpack. It was only after you had taken a handful of sips that you actually looked at where you were. Off in the distance was a magnificent waterfall, steep cliffs surrounding it on either side. In the other direction, you could see all the way out to the ocean, just miles and miles of the most stunning terrain. It was absolutely breathtaking and already so worth the burn in your quads you were going to be feeling for days.

As you turned back to stare at the waterfall again, Cale’s arms slipped around your waist and he stood pressed against your back, his chin resting on top of your head.

“What do you think?” He murmured.

“It’s incredible.” You whispered, relaxing back against him.

“I knew you’d like it.” Cale added, his breaths long and deep, just taking it all in.

As you stood wrapped in Cale’s arms, in wonder of how a place like this could exist, you felt a wave of emotion crash over you, hitting you as hard as the water flowing over the falls hit the rocks below.

You were in love with him.

A life with him, one full of adventure and wonder. Knowing he was the one person who knew you better than yourself, knowing he would always be there to support you physically and emotionally. This was all you could ever ask for, could ever want.

You’d loved him from the moment you first held him 21 years ago. That love had changed in substance as you went from playing house with Cale as your partner in crime and Taylor as your baby to biting your nails trying to quell your nerves as you watched him skate in his first collegiate hockey game. Now, that love was different still: deeper, stronger, all-consuming, intimate. You were learning every little piece of him and he was learning the same about you.

It was too soon to say the words aloud, but you could no longer deny it in your own mind. You didn’t just love your best friend, you were head over heels in love with him.

Twisting in his arms, you wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling him down into a soft kiss. Just because you weren’t ready to say it didn’t mean you couldn’t express it through your actions.

You didn’t even realize that Cale had messed around with his phone to take a picture until you had pulled away, cheeks warm from both the exertion and the kiss. It was a stunning photo, one you were itching to make your home screen, but one that certainly was going in the file not to be seen by your parents. Cale took a few more pictures before the two of you continued to climb.

When you reached the top of the falls, you took even more pictures, sitting down by the side of the river to munch on one of the protein bars Cale had packed. After a few more minutes rest, Cale pulled you back to your feet and the two of you turned around to retrace your steps all the way back down, across the river once more, and then up to the car.

Your hike had taken you the entire morning, but had been so worth it. Your epiphany aside, spending time with Cale like this was something you had always treasured but that had been in short supply as the two of you got older. So between the bonding time and getting to take in all of the incredible views you’d just witnessed, you were certainly feeling blessed even if you were already sore.

Climbing back in the car, you insisted Cale find somewhere with a bathroom before your next stop of the day. It hadn’t bothered you while you were moving but with draining an entire bottle of water while hiking and the constant sound of water in your ears all day...you really needed to pee. Cale had laughed at you, but complied willingly, pulling up his phone to find someplace for the two of you to stop.

After emptying your bladder and downing another protein bar, you settled in for the short drive to Þingvellir National Park. Having pulled out Cale’s map with the Golden Circle route, you now had some idea of at least the general locations you were going to see.

As Cale pulled the car into a parking lot, you got a glimpse of what made this place so special. But it wasn’t until you had gotten out and actually started walking around that you realized how truly impressive it was. This was one of the few locations globally where you could actually see the tectonic plates. Jagged rocks thrust out of the landscape appearing on either side of you as you tugged Cale along the path. It was sights like this that made you realize how big and powerful nature was and just how small you were as humans in comparison.

Having already seen one incredible waterfall today, you decided to forgo the walk to see the one here in the park and instead just took a couple of photos before heading back to the car to continue on to the next stop of your journey.

Back in the car, you once again took over Cale’s phone for music, his spotify blasting as you drove through Iceland with the windows down, enjoying the beautiful afternoon. Singing along to the music, you kicked your feet up and leaned against your door, partly watching your surroundings and partly watching your boyfriend. He’d relaxed considerably behind the wheel since yesterday and you’d never noticed how sexy he looked while driving before. It wasn’t something you could explain, it was just something that hit you straight in the gut.

Your next stop was to see Geysir, the Icelandic version of Old Faithful. The strong smell of sulfur filled the air and steam rose from the vents and pools of bubbling water in the ground.

“We don’t have to stick around here long.” Cale insisted, his hand rubbing over your lower back as you headed toward the largest geyser in the park. Like clockwork, the geyser erupts every six minutes, so it wasn’t too much of a wait to see it before heading back to the car.

Reaching for the passenger door, you were stopped when Cale grabbed your wrist and tugged your body closer to his.

“Are you okay?” He questioned, palm cupping your cheek.

“Yeah Cale I’m good.” You assured him. “It’s just not the most pleasant scent.” Kissing him softly, you brushed your nose against his for a moment before settling back onto your heels. “Now let’s get out of here.” It didn’t escape your notice, that once again Cale was checking on you, making sure that you were always okay. The way he cared for those around him was one of the things you loved most about him.

It was a really short, ten-minute car ride to the next stop of the day. Though you had skipped the small waterfall at Þingvellir National Park, Gullfoss Falls had made Cale’s list of things to see. Unlike Glymur falls which had been tall and narrow, Gullfoss was a fairly shallow set of falls, that stretched over a much wider area. With the sun shining the way it was, rainbows appeared wherever there was mist from the falls. Everything in Iceland was absolutely beautiful; just being here made you feel more grounded, centered. It was absolutely the perfect trip so far to really spend time with Cale as a couple rather than just friends. This time, the photos you took were silly ones to show your families. But like your last few stops, you didn’t linger long before climbing into the car to head to the final stop of the Circle.

You must have dozed off during that leg of the drive because when you opened your eyes, you were once again parked in a new location. Cale was looking at his phone, but when he realized you were awake, his eyes turned soft as he glanced over at you.

“What?” You inquired, your back popping as you stretched. Cale didn’t respond, simply shaking his head as he turned the car off and moved to climb out of the car.

“You coming?” He eventually called, turning back to face you about ten feet in front of the car. Rolling your eyes, you quickly moved to catch up with him and after paying a small conservation fee, you stepped off the paved lot onto a path. In front of you was a crater lake, its deep blue water surrounded by red rock and green vegetation.

“Okay...don’t get me wrong...everything we’ve seen today has been gorgeous...but I think this is my favorite.” You breathed.

“Yeah?” Cale murmured. You nodded in response, tucking yourself into his side as the two of you just admired the sight in front of you. Waterfalls were great, geysers and faults were cool, but this...this was on another level.

Eventually you’d made your way back to Reykjavik after lingering for awhile at the Crater.

It had been a long day, and you were ready to get some dinner and just relax before maybe going to bed early. Sinking into one of the chairs in your hotel room, you sighed in relief and toed off your shoes. Cale had disappeared into the bathroom and when you looked up he was leaning against the wall, a pensive look on his face.

“So...are you gonna hate me if I tell you we have one more thing on the agenda for today?” He asked. When your shoulders sunk, he chuckled and moved across the room to kiss you. “I promise it’s something relaxing.” He murmured against your lips.

“What is it?” You groaned.

“Dinner followed by a little dip…” You had to admit you were intrigued and you were dying to show off the new suits you’d bought for the trip.

“You kill me Cale.” You sighed, though the smile pulling at the corners of your mouth gave away your compliance. Cale pulled you to your feet and his hands landed on your hips as he looked down at you, content smile traveling all the way up to his eyes. “You’re lucky I really really like you.” You teased.

“Hmm is that right?” Cale murmured back as his mouth dropped to yours for a kiss that lingered, his tongue exploring your mouth. Sighing into the kiss, for a moment you let yourself get lost in the feeling of it all. When the kiss broke, you stood in Cale’s arms, your fingers playing with the hairs at the back of his neck. The way he was looking at you made you shiver and knowing you’d never leave this hotel room if you didn’t start moving, you pulled away.

“Do I need to stay dressed like this or can I change into something a little nicer?” You questioned.

“You can change if you want.” Cale declared, fingers running through his hair. Digging through your suitcase, you grabbed your swimsuit and one of the nice but still fairly casual dresses you’d packed before slipping into the bathroom. Sliding the suit on, you pulled the dress on over it before stepping back into the main room.

“Will this work?” You asked as you slid your dirty clothes into a laundry bag. Cale still hadn’t responded by the time you’d found your sandals and slipped them on and when you looked over at him, his cheeks were flushed and his jaw was halfway to the ground. “Cale…” You prompted, eyebrows raised.

“Shit...fuck...holy crap you’re beautiful.” Cale declared after snapping out of the daze he’d been in. If this simple dress had that much of an effect on him, you couldn’t wait to see how he responded to some of the other things you’d brought, suit included.

“So it’ll work?” You repeated your question, giggling softly.

“Yeah...I think that’ll work.” He agreed, shaking his head before moving to change as well.

You’d lost count of how many times you’d been in and out of your rental car today, but as you climbed into the passenger seat again, you acknowledged that this time felt different. Once Cale had reached the open highway, his hand reached down to lace with yours. Anxious butterflies filled your stomach and it took some time before you realized why.

This was your first real date.

Sure you’d had lunch together, done dinner at your place, watched movies, this whole trip was kind of an extended date...but this was the first time you’d gone out together that truly felt like a date.

It was silly to feel nervous, you’d been together for a month already and things were really good. Still, you couldnt’t shake that little bit of nervous energy.

A few nerves were good though, and you decided to just make the most of them. About an hour after you’d left your hotel, Cale pulled into a parking lot again and the two of you made your way through a winding path surrounded by volcanic rock until you reached the doors for the Blue Lagoon.

Dinner was the first part of this date which you were thankful for because you were starving. With views of the lagoon, high ceilings and a wall made of the same volcanic rock as outside, you settled into a table at the Lava Restaurant.

Once glasses of wine were poured and main dishes were ordered, you smiled across the table at Cale.

“I don’t know if I’ve…”

“You really are…” You both started speaking at the same time, and laughter spread between you as you each stopped to let the other speak.

“Go ahead.” Cale insisted, his thumb brushing against your joined hands.

“Thank you for all of this.” You breathed. “This trip is really special and I know you put a lot of thought and effort into planning it.”

“You’re worth it.” Cale said blushing slightly. “This trip wouldn’t be nearly as fun with anyone else.” Reaching for your wine glass you held it up in a toast, waiting for Cale to mirror your action.

“To us.” You murmured. “To adventures, laughter, and a little romance.”

“To my beautiful girlfriend. My best friend. I’m so lucky you’re mine even though it took us awhile to figure it out.” Your heart pounded at Cale’s words but thankfully your food arrived before he had the chance to make you cry.

Sharing your lamb fillet and Cale’s beef tenderloin, you both got to taste multiple examples of the rich Icelandic cuisine. Your main dishes were followed by a shared dessert of icelandic berries and chocolate. As Cale fed you a bite, you felt some of the caramel sauce hit the corner of your mouth. Before you could reach up to wipe it away, Cale had done it for you and your stomach twisted pleasantly at the feeling of his thumb against your skin.

When your food was finished, you relaxed finishing off your glasses of wine while Cale told you a story from his time at UMass that you hadn’t heard before. Eventually though, you got up from the table and moved to head out to the lagoon itself.

Since you both had suits on under your clothes already, it didn’t take long to put your things into a locker in the women’s changing area before meeting up with Cale. The moment he saw you, you watched him swallow hard, his eyes visibly darkening.

“This. is. not. fair.” Cale choked out. Dragging him outside, your eyes went wide as you took in the sight in front of you. Pale blue water, dark rocks, it was absolutely stunning and you couldn’t wait to get in.

Stepping down into the warm water you waited for Cale to join you, laughing to yourself as he stood on the cement looking completely awestruck. The water was perfect, it felt like you had stepped into a massive jacuzzi and the heat felt wonderful on your sore muscles.

“You’re trying to give me a heart attack aren’t you?” Cale whispered, his voice dangerously low as he appeared behind you.

“And just how would I do that?” You smirked, enjoying the ego stroking you were getting from Cale’s reactions.

“You know how.” Cale mumbled. “You’re absolutely killing me right now.”

You’d hoped to get some reaction out of Cale when you picked out this suit, but you hadn’t expected for him to lose his mind like this. Admittedly, the blue and white of the suit was even more fitting for this location than you had expected and you felt sexy and confident as Cale’s eyes lingered on you.

Trailing your nails down Cale’s chest you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth as you smiled up at him.

“If you like this...wait until you see what else I packed…” You suggested, slipping away from Cale to head over to the in-water bar for a drink, his growl resounding in your ears.

Cale seemed to recover from his shock a little but not fully and the two of you spent close to two hours enjoying yourselves. You even convinced Cale to not only let you give him a silica mask, but to take a couple pictures with it on even though he was sure to be chirped if his teammates or even his brother ever saw them.

Relaxed and happy, you left the lagoon to drive back to the hotel. That had been by far your favorite first date ever. And it was the best way to cap off a day that had been even better than yesterday. As you crawled into bed, your head resting on Cale’s chest, the exhaustion of such an eventful day caught up with you and it wasn’t long until you had fallen fast asleep.

End of Chapter Outfit:

#cale makar #cale makar imagine #colorado avalanche #colorado avalanche imagine #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #cavalanche #038

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cowboyshit · 3 years

Text

twenty questions

tagged by: @dustofinsanity (thank you so much my dear!!!!!!)

what do you prefer to be called name-wise? honestly I’ll probably answer to most things as long as they aren’t mean. but ash, ashley, doe, those seem to be the solid three I’m known by around here when is your birthday? november 30th! where do you live? in a tiny, backwoods cow-town smack dab in the middle of california three things you are doing right now? filling this questionnaire out, eating dinner I just finished cooking, and petting sadie with my foot since she’s curled up at my feet after she finished her dinner four fandoms that have peaked your interest. I guess I can go with four I’ve been heavily involved with, even though there’s plenty more than that since I’m a little fangirl at heart, but wrestling (obviously), black sails, the night shift, and pirates of the caribbean how has the pandemic been treating you? uh, I mean, it hasn’t been great and I’ve had to deal with some pretty bad shit as all of us have, and probably some of my worst mental health battles I’ve had to face in about a year or so, but honestly? I just kind of count my blessings these days. lucky to still be employed, even if my pay got a little cut it was nothing that keeps me from paying my bills. all I had to do was take away a few luxury things to make ends meet, and that’s a lot, LOT less than other people have had to do. so yeah, it’s been pretty shitty, this year has been bad news after bad news both personally and globally, but whatever. it could be worse. a song you can’t stop listening to right now? it is no-joke like a four-way tie. a bunch of good songs were in my discover weekly and I’ve been playing four of them on non-stop repeat one after the other. oh! and one my best friend showed to me. this baby don’t cry by k. flay, rock bottom by grandson, ok ok by hoko, and insurgents by the poolside by denny recommend a movie. i’ve jumped into holiday mood early af because tbh I need the holiday cheer, so keeping in that theme, I suggest the holiday with jude law because DUH how old are you? thirty! school, university, occupation, other? had some college, been working in my current career for the past ten years. hoping to pursue a promotion finally since my supervisors have been telling me for the past eight years that I need to promote do you prefer heat or cold? cold pleeeaaaase! I’m a radiator and put off heat like nobody’s business. I’m always warm. name one fact others may not know about you. this is hard because I just constantly blab everything about me, and I have two people who literally know EVERYTHING about me lmfao uhhh I guess... something people may not know... uhhh... on my dad’s side of the family one half was ashkenazi jewish who had to flee germany to avoid the holocaust, where they went to live in italy, while the other half were nazi’s committing some pretty bad stuff that my family won’t talk about, even to this day. funny how two descendants eventually met in america and fell in love, huh? and when they DID fall in love one of them was half italian and in the mafia! so I always joke that my bubbly cheerful self is a descendent of some pretty evil shit, and it feels like a nice little stab at those shitty ancestors of mine. are you shy? uhhh yeah and no??? like. I think I’m shy, since all interaction terrifies me and exhausts me, but everyone tells me I’m a social butterfly? and I’ve noticed in places I’m comfortable and confident, I do tend to be less shy and more involved and interactive? but I think I can be shy. a lot of waiting for other people to initiate because I’m too afraid to, struggling to talk or carry a conversation at times... I don’t know I think I’m overcomplicating this answer LOL preferred pronouns? she/her! biggest pet peeves? gatekeeping, to be perfectly honest. I stopped following wrestling back in 2014 because when I first tried to get into the fandom, someone was trying to gatekeep a wrestler I also liked and had started making content for and they made me feel like shit for liking them, and I absolutely hated it. that’s why it took me an entire two years of quietly lurking in the wrestling fandom before I finally got brave enough to come out of the woodwork, and I’m grateful I’ve been so well received this time around. but now I’m hyper-sensitive to gatekeeping and I fucking hate it. no joke. and since it’s a pet peeve and I’m irked just remembering all that bs I went through, ima say I’m only a part of fandom to share my love of whatever that thing is with other people who love it too. I can’t stand anyone who thinks they have some sort of “claim” over a celebrity or a show or anything. get a different identity that isn’t wrapped up in that thing and stop seeing it as a threat when other people like it. be happy someone else is as passionate about that thing as you are and make a friend. damn. what is your favorite “dere” type? I’m pretty sure this is something with anime or that originated from anime, right? unfortunately I don’t know what they are so I can’t say LOL I don’t even know if I’m right about it coming from anime tbh rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be. 4, 5, but I’m putting in the foundation now and working to make it a 6, 7, or possibly 8 by a year or two from now. what’s your main blog? funnily enough? this one. my OTHER blog that was my main blog since I joined tumblr in 2009 got shoved to the side for this one last year LOL I assumed I’d log onto this blog once in awhile, but now it took over my whole damn life so here I am I guess list your side blogs and what they’re used for. I’m going to be fair and ONLY list my active ones because I have a few side blogs from when I role-played on tumblr that I haven’t touched in over a year. @doedreamss is my non-wrestling blog that WAS my main blog before this one, @cowboysht is my archive where I am ONLY putting my original gifsets/analysis/fanfiction so that one day I can offer people a blog of just my original work and no other posts (the queue is very slowly catching up I think I’ve queued posts up until june this year), @illfatedandstarcrossed is just a non-frequently used outlet for me to mope and dump emotions when I get sad about my relationship things (like a diary! but... public? and not my original thoughts? LOL), and then I have one more blog but it’s locked and private and it’s LITERALLY my diary where I can just vent when I got shit I wanna get off my chest but don’t necessarily want people to see it. Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends? I probably won’t talk to you daily, tbh. I may not even talk to you weekly. socializing takes a lot out of me, on top of an already energy draining day-to-day in my personal life. I have a handful of people I connect with who I talk with frequently, but unfortunately as much as I’d love for it to be endless, I have to keep that list short for my own sanity. my infrequent conversations mean absolutely nothing about my lack of interest in you or how much I care about you. my granny once said I would be the perfect friend for someone you only want to talk to twice a month and she thought she was insulting me, but deadass I just said “YEAH! EXACTLY!!”

tagging: I really like this one so I WANT to tag people, but I feel braindead and also just want to post it cause I feel like I am definitely gonna forget to tag someone tbh aaaaahh okay okay I’m just gonna throw some names out there but please don’t feel pressured to do this (it is TWENTY questions) @kennyhoemega, @champbucks, @superkickparty, @adampage, @hintsofsunshine, @audreyhrnes, @sheslikealostflower, @lancearchers, @champnick, @janelanutella, @edgecution, @superrezzy00, @wardl0w, @writinglionqueen, @orangechuckiet, @hungmanhorsecarriage, @icouldbesus, @thatnerdwriter, @rampagewriting, @snarkandsarcasmftw, @tetsuyainthesky AND I DUNNO JUST ANYONE WHO WANTS TO OK I LOVE YOU ALL BYE

#ashleys playin #not wrestling related #long post for ts #long post

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ak8shi · 4 years

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·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚CHLOE’S 1K THANK YOU˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

━ um,, hi I hope everyone is taking care of themselves!! I literally logged onto my blog today and couldn’t comprehend seeing my follower count... I am just so thankful for the people who support me here and it really isn’t about the number, I am just so happy and grateful that there are people who find some sort of happiness in my blog!! I made this blog not really knowing what would come out of it, and I never expected any of this, like what a blessing! It makes me smile so much talking to you all, and if I could make any of you smile with the absolute brain rot I post on here, it’s all worth it to me! SO THANK YOU, thank you for being here with me<33

I am still thinking of something to do for 1k, I want it to be really special, but for now I want to personally thank some of the people who have supported me from the beginning here, sorry this might be long!!!

@bbytetsu - ANG, girl where do I even start, you were the first blog to reach out to me and it really meant so much to me. We’re so alike in so many ways and you are so so talented I can’t emphasize enough! Even though we’ve never met in person, I just know we would get along so well irl and befriend each other so fast!! You support my work sm and I’m literally terrible for the astrology posts (I promise i haven’t forgotten) but I’m so thankful to have someone who loves astrology and boba and as much as I do!!! (Kuroo is reading this over my shoulder and he won’t stfu about you smh :///) You’re always there for me and you are so genuine and beautiful, please never change!! I love the fact that I can talk to you about ANYTHING, I LOVE YOU BIH!

@b0kuto - Emi, you might not see this because of your hiatus, but I’m so glad you decided to message me that one day. You are SO real and tell it how it is, I admire you so much and you’re so fucking funny. My experience here would not have been the same without you, and I miss you so much:(( You are SO talented, I miss seeing your work on my dash sm. I love hearing about your life across the globe, and its so special to me to have a friend so close to my heart like you!! I adore and love you so much!

@inarzki - Noora, I honestly don’t even remember when or how we started talking, I just remember bonding over being the only two Atsumies out here and it was history from there LMFAOO, You are by far,, one of the funniest bitches out here and you’re the queen of Inarizaki,,, I don’t make the rules. I truly can not name a badder bitch on here, period. I love our convos so much and your writing style is impeccable, biggest chefs kiss (I only read third person for you). Keep doing you, and thank you for being so supportive of my absolute ape show of a blog, sending u infinite kisses and hugs xoxo

@kemochie - Nea, oh my god. Who else could I rant to about pegging mister Tooru Oikawa,,, NO ONE. You are literally the easiest person to talk to, and I just finished bnha so we need to talk !!! Your writing. Don’t even get me started; AMAZING, SHOW STOPPING, I can’t even express how much I love your writing style. Everything is so easy to follow and it makes me feel!! so!! much!! You are an angel!! I love you!

@nosesbleeds - Ellie my sweet Ellie!! It is licherally crazy how sweet and supportive you are and then you go to write the filthiest, hottest, smut on this site and I respect you so much for it. No one else is doing it like you, I hate to say it. I still literally dream about the atsumu drabble you wrote me, I’m obsessed w you!!! You put out top quality work, I’m honored we’re mutuals, seriously. I love you and I hope you’re staying safe in all this craziness!!

@sugardaddykenma - not this bitch....LIN LMFAO THE QUEEN herself. Your posts make my day, I adore your headcannons so much ugh, but not more than I adore you!! I can always count on you to make me smile, and we’re always on the same page!! I love the fact that we both have a special place in our hearts for Atsumu but we also beat him down to a pulp and bully him endlessly. I’, so excited for your kuroo meth lab scenario, still waiting for that to come out! LOVE YOUUU

@inlovecorp - Liana, omg when I see you in my notifs my heart beats a little faster, I adore you so much and your Asahi fic literally lives in my brain rent free at all times. when you reply to my posts I always die, and your roasts are so fucking funny, you’re a literal angel!! Never change, I’m so glad this blog brought me to people like you, ily baddie!!!

@yumeqo - Abby, omg I just had to write you something, I literally remember not seeing your blog and freaking out because I thought you deleted but then I saw you remade, I-I still can’t believe you follow a loser like me LMFAO, you give off such good energy and you’re always supportive in my notifs, you’re so funny && ily!!!

━ I also wanted to thank some of my other mutuals, even though we may not talk a ton I admire and love all of you so much!! Whenever I see any of you on my dash it makes me so happy to be here, just thank you sm for following me!!!

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

@neoheros / @a-kaashi / @dorkyama / @sckusa / @lcaita / @inakou / @tobiosbabie / @tsutsukki / @wakaitoshi / @1tsnoya / @bokutos-eyebrows / @shouyouwrites / @milkyhaikyuu / @ukaiis / @softkatsuki / @kozu-mei / @agaassi / @tillitbreaks / @virgosetter / @sushij1ma / @sugaanoya / @crocyoota / @aurumskyy / @todourouki

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

#hi everyone! i dont even know what to say it dorsnt feel real!!! all i can say is I LOVE U ALL!#thank u baddiez! <3333 #1k special #chloe.txt #chlo reaches 1k

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the-blind-geisha · 3 years

Text

Geez, what a year. lol I really don't know what to say about it. It's been tough, but all things considered, I count my blessings.

I left this blog hoping to just make a new one and avoid drama like I always do: just sit, make content, and thank people for any kind words they leave. But that didn't quite happen. I need to remind myself: drama is everywhere. There's always going to be those people who can make it a challenge to want to remain in a fandom no matter where you turn. There's no 'best fandom out there'. They're all problematic no matter how big or small. I think what just hurt was I became the accused and apparently still am to some folks because I found some people supporting me and then hard-blocking me the next when I didn't say or do anything. So yeah, I felt very outcast in Overlord to the point I just don't engage with anybody's content unless it's like the one friend I have from there as the other left Tumblr and went to Instagram where we talk when able.

I know some people are probably confused or upset as to why I soft-blocked them. I'll explain now: I was helping you out the door, and I don't mean that in a cruel way. ♥ I thank you for the support you gave me and the strength you person in particular showed. However, I know who you admire the most, and I didn't want to be the problem child that could cause conflicts with your friendships when they saw you still supported me as I could tell your desire to outwardly do so diminished after the huge climax. I was helping you make the choice I felt like you both didn't want to make. I wanted you to know it was OK to unfollow me. I wouldn't be hurt. If you want to refollow me on Dragoon, you're welcome to, but until I feel safe again in this fandom, I cannot lower my boundaries on my other blogs, and I apologize for that. Just please try to be understanding there. ♥

I'm not one to hold grudges, but I never forget the hurt that was done to me. (I apologize, but it's an abuse person's trauma that causes these reflexes). I can easily put the past behind me, but I would still be skittish all things considered. What I didn't want to happen (and I hope you remember that post I made on Dragoon) happened again in this one. Knowing it's small made it 50 times worse, so on my other blogs, I'm just trying to heal. ♥ I do not have animosity towards any of you. I just need to heal.

Aside from fandom stuff, I lost a friend I had been with since 2014 to just constant abuse and manipulation I couldn't take anymore, but after grieving for a day or two, I realized it was for the better. If anybody has noticed, I've not posted vent pics or anything like that near as much. I found that without the constant negativity in my life, I was doing far, far better. I don't mind if my friends or lovelies have breakdowns, but I just cannot log into an account and see it day after day and that's what this person was doing. It really tired me out. Every time this happened, I felt I had to drop everything to run to her side and make sure she was okay. It made logging into DA not fun for me. The last 3 years, I think I prepped myself for that being the 'end all' year with us, because my sanity was on a very thin thread. I knew I would go insane soon, and finally, she just pushed me too far. X-x; Regardless, I do hope she finds that light at the end of the tunnel she so desperately looks for. I think that's my only worry with her—that she won't dig herself out of the darkness she's locked herself within, but I cannot be her therapist. I cannot magically draw her art pieces and give her hope like I used to. I need to remember that. I cannot magically make things better. I am a human being with my own problems.

COVID has been scary as fuck, but I'm managing okay so far. If anything, quarantine allowed me to lose 50 or more pounds, and I went from fitting into like size 15 or so jeans to size 9s again. I detoxed myself from the bad foods I was eating, and I feel so much better. I'm trying to lower my caffeine intake next. (Pray for me.. I have to give up coffees and teas for a time to do this... lol).

Next year, I really hope to focus on my original stuff. I really, really want to do something with my life. If enough people have told me I can be a published author or ask when I'm doing it, then I need to take the hint and just do it. I guess my doubts prevent me as I never wanted to be a writer, but an artist.

Regardless, let's do this 2021~

Please don't be a shit show... lol

#i mean who knows what it'll be in america #i'm still waiting on the higher ups to approve of basic human rights #it's so disgusting x-x #but positive #think positive #end of year #mod talks

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theinvisibledreamergirl · 3 years

Text

Sweet dreams, TN

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Helena Craig) x M!OC (Clay Banner)

Words count: ~2.1k

Category: Smut/Angst/AU

Warning: 🔞 content/Language

A.N: I really wanted to picture something else. What if my MC didn’t get her place at Edenbrook Hospital in her first year and her boyfriend did? And what happens if she comes as a surgical resident in the 2nd year? Also I’ve decided that in this fic I’ll call MC in her middle name Helena or shortened Helen/Ellie. It’s the alter-ego of Klaw so it has nothing to do with her. After posting this I’ll log off from Tumblr ‘cause I know it’s a disaster😭😭😭😭

Song: “Sweet dreams, TN” - The Last Shadow Puppets (pls hear this first to understand it better ❤️)

MASTERLIST

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I just sort of always feel sick without you baby

I ain’t got anything to lick without you baby

Nothing seems to stick without you baby

Ain’t I fallen in love

“Do you have the keys for the handcuffs?”

“Whoa. Is someone getting a little afraid hm?”

“Well I don’t want to be useless without my hands. So I can touch you.”

“I do have the keys darling.” The two faces were closer breathing into each other’s air. “But I need you to be quiet now.”

“Show me then.”

It’s just the pits without you baby

It’s really just the pits without you baby

It’s like everyone’s a dick without you baby

Ain’t I fallen in love

The command was clear and both of them entered to the inevitable path.

Feeling each other’s skins in the most obscenely way and falling to that wild imagination that both of them had been restraining for a long time.

It was a heavenly and a desirably emotion that led themselves to be part of this trap.

They could hear their accelerated heartbeats as more and more they looked hungrily and darkly like animals fighting for domination.

Blue vs Brown.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

And all my pals will tell me is that I’m crazy

You bet I’m loopy alright

And I just don’t recognise this fool

That you have made me

Whoa I ain’t seen him for a while

Panting breath wasn’t in their expectations and shared a laugh before they reached the culmination and he unlocked her handcuffs to fall completely in his arms.

Their strong embrace fitted perfectly the curves of their bodies despite their sweat. When he was about to pull off she pouted in a whisper.

“No. Stay.”

“I will.” He promised with a searing kiss.

“But you did left me.” Her expression changed completely and in a mere of seconds she wasn’t there.

He blinked. “What?”

The sound of the alarm woke him up and suddenly he felt his underwear soaked.

“Holy shit I did this again!” He growled in frustration as he rubbed his face.

He made attempts to get up but his knees were too weak to keep his balance. Another attempt and he slowly started to walk. Or better a crawling you may call it.

He turned on his bathtub to make a quick shower and to clear this mess of himself. But the hot water made him feel again those goosebumps of that sweet dream and closed his eyes again.

She looped his arms around his waist and start to kiss his shoulders slowly and gently while moving her hands up and down his bellybutton. He let a content sigh while drifting again to that imaginary scene.

And as your shrinking figure blows a kiss

I catch and smash it on my lips

Darling I can’t seem to quit.

When there wasn’t a shoulder to lean on his head, he slapped his face growling loudly and continued his shower in disappointment.

Completely falling to bits

I really might be losing it

The idea that you’ve existed all along is ridiculous

I don’t know what to say

He missed her.

Not longer after that he arrived at Edenbrook gladly on time thanks to his fast BMW vehicle. He carried his bag through the hall of the hospital and a megawatt smile that he recognised it very well stopped him.

“Yo yo look who’s back again. My mann!” They clapped their backs.

“Ooff Bryce!” He was breathing hardly. “We were celebrating yesterday for the end of our intern year. I’m sure that we didn’t miss each other that much.”

“C’mon Banner can’t you just be funnier person in your life for once hm?”

Clay rolled his eyes. “Anyways I have to change my clothes unless you don’t have anything else to say.”

“I do actually.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “I met someone today.”

“So?”

“You have no idea whom I have met.”

“Let me guess did President Biden come here?” He snorted when he saw Bryce’s not amused reaction. “Okay fine go on.”

“As I was saying I met today a female but let me tell you man... this woman is not like the others. She’s like a goddess that entered to this building and blessed my life when I made eye contact with her.”

Clay was really trying his best not to laugh to this exaggeration. “You have met plenty of women and it’s not your first time Bryce.”

“Tsk. It is my first time. And may I add she was like queen Cleopatra that summoned everyone when she walked here.” Bryce added in a wandering gaze while he was doing his usual ministrations. “Black stilettos clicking and wearing those black leathery pants revealing her curves...ohh I’m thinking I’m going to fall in love man. She had a long coat on her shoulders and that white shirt mmhmm.” He closed his eyes. “She truly was the boss and I’m betting on this... her elegant body will be in my bed. But-”

“And there’s always a but right?”

“Can you believe I didn’t get her name?! Not even her number!”

His friend squealed in laughter. “What did you think fool? That she was going to follow you straight into the on-call room?”

“Yes!” Bryce exclaimed. “That’s what I thought too man but I lost her because that damn nurse came to me for signing a patient in a surgery.” He sighed and shook his head. “I lost the most perfect chance today and I don’t even know what she was doing here... she can’t be a doctor though ‘cause she’s too beautiful for this job.”

“Well then good luck on finding her ‘cause I have to go now. See you.” He trailed off to the direction of the elevator.

“Yea see ya.” He waved back at him before he muttered. “Go back to surgery Bryce before Tanaka cuts you off.”

————————

“This is going to be your office.”

“Thank you so much Mist- Dr. Tennant!” She corrected herself briefly before she would say another embarrassing thing. “I really don’t know how to express my gratitude for this.”

He scoffed. “Please can you just talk normally Dr. Craig? I think at the first time we met the rule was by names. Call me Simon.”

“Sure. Simon.” She really wasn’t used to it though. First no title of Miss/Mister and now calling by names. USA had really big differences with UK not only in titles but also in medical policy and legacy.

“And now I must say to you congratulations!” They shook hands. “And also I’d like to introduce you to our Diagnostics Team.”

She nodded in agreement.

When they finally arrived at the front door Simon stepped first to get the attention of his colleagues who seemed to be occupied as they were studying a case so he cleared his throat loudly. All of them turned their gazes to him except for an attending who didn’t even have to recognise his friend’s voice.

“What now Simon?”

“Hello to you too my pal. You know everyone that there was going to be a resident in the absence of Edgar’s, right?”

“Yes we know that.” The Japanese-British woman spoke.

“Have you brought him here?!” Judging by his accent it was an Indian man who exclaimed happily.

Simon chuckled. “Yes Baz but it’s her.”

“Ooooohh.”

“Let’s hope she’ll be useful for this job.”

“Don’t worry Ethan. She was selected as the best surgical intern in Imperial College of London Hospital and many other things among but I’ll let her to present herself.” He made her a signal to come inside.

“Everyone this is Dr. Helena Craig.”

“Please you can call me Helen or Ellie if you want.”

“I like Helen better.” The woman got up and shook her hand. “Dr. June Hirata.”

“Me too! Hi I’m Dr. Sebastian Mirani but everyone calls me simply Baz.”

“Ethan?” Simon asked quietly to get up and greet with her but he wasn’t moving any inch.

Helen gave him a knowing smile and said without breaking her gaze to him. “It’s alright for me if we don’t shake hands. I feel the same way too when I meet people that haven’t given me a good and a reliable impression at first so I completely understand your condition now.”

She caught him off guard. Ethan Ramsey expected her to scowl or glare into his eyes but instead she was killing him with that radiating smile.

Fuck.

The same smile that was reserved for him yesterday at Donahue’s bar.

In the corner of his eyes there was an unfamiliar face that stayed some stools away from him.

She lit up a cigarette even though Reggie had been strictly to every client not to use it but it seemed she didn’t care about it.

Her blonde hair was tied up in a bun revealing her constructed jaw and her long neck.

She had also earrings pierced. Was she a troublesome woman? Or maybe a drugs dealer judging by her extravagant outfit. But what caught his attention was that she didn’t look amused or happy.

She was sad. And exhausted.

Along with her was a small luggage that she had carried with herself here. She called Reggie to bring her a strong scotch and found by the latter that she was British and it was her first time in Boston.

She had also asked him for a hotel nearby this place and Reggie suggested some of them including “La Vista” Hotel which was the best. She thanked and left him the payment.

Now her eyes landed on the icy blue that had been staring on her for a long time and gave him a wicked smile. She raised her glass in purpose and licked her lips after drinking bits of it.

She was really gorgeous in all of his honesty and they didn’t break their eye contact for maybe a couple of minutes. He could do it every time without any hesitation just to rest in those piercing brown’s.

He was a very handsome man and even though he seemed older than her, she didn’t give a single shit. She could imagine his toned muscles and abs beyond those pesky clothes. She was marveled and could sense that he felt the same too.

It was like they both understood each other.

No words needed.

Only looks.

But she knew who he was. Ethan Ramsey. And she was glad that made him completely at her mercy and was enjoying it.

Poor man she thought.

She couldn’t wait for his reaction tomorrow when he would find out who she was actually.

His colleague.

Helen could imagine his flustered face and transfixed into her with his mouth agape.

She got up from her seat slowly in a tantalizing move while he drank in one gulp his scotch and called Reggie again for another fill.

She walked past him but before leaving with her luggage she lowered her head to his ear whispering dangerously. Her breath was a tingle in his ears and could almost feel her lips brushed.

“Thank you for the distraction. I really needed it.”

She left unceremoniously when something dropped from her and he immediately caught it.

It was one of her earrings with the initial ‘H’. He was about to call her but she was gone.

Maybe he would find her tomorrow again. Here.

And he really found her. In the most obscenely and the most embarrassing way if he could describe it. Instead of what she said he got up with his smuggling look.

“Wrong observation.” When she heard his deep voice for the first time she gulped and could see his eyes glimmering triumphantly. “I hope you don’t ruin this opportunity.”

He caught her off guard. While they were touching each other’s palms an unknown heat coursed down in their bodies. Bullshit they thought because he was just an attending and she was a resident. Suddenly another voice was approaching to them.

“I’m terribly sorry for my lateness but I was-”

He abruptly stopped himself when he saw her.

His eyes were widened and his breath hitched.

She was here.

Baby we ought to fuck

Seven years of bad luck

Out of the powder room mirror

Could I have made it any clearer

She saw him too.

But not with a happy or a grateful face that always had welcomed his heart.

This was a mere seconds of glaring and then a plastered smile that he knew too well.

Clay Banner had screwed things up a year before he entered Edenbrook Hospital.

And now the woman of his dreams was standing right in front of him with his attending.

His girlfriend.

His Helen.

Or... was?

It’s love like a tongue in a nostril

Love like an ache in the jaw

You’re the first day of spring

With a septum piercing

Little Miss Sweet Dreams, TN

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TAGS WILL APPEAR IN A REBLOG!

Ps: if this fic doesn’t surpass The Grinch Girl fic notes... there’s not going to be a part two😂😂 sorry...and Happy (late) International Women’s Day💪🏻💋🥰🥰

UPDATE: Part two is posted and it’s called- She’s thunderstorms

#open heart fan fiction #open heart choices #open heart fan fic #oh au #n*fw #ethan ramsey #my mc #ethan ramsey x mc #clay banner #clay banner x mc #triangle of love series #part one #my writing

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