#im sorry once again. you must suffer me

[arsenicflame]

lighthouse painting quilt planning bc @humblexwanderer is a terrible, terrible influence <3

(less planning and more rambling every thought i have about this i am So Sorry. i am always like this)

i must preface this that ive never made a quilt before but i do sew and have the gay audacity to believe i can pull off all these hard seams with 0 experience

the plan here is to buy nothing except thread and maybe binding. im gonna steal the fabric from my works scrap bin so i will be a little limited on what colours i can get- half the reason im considering going through with this is i keep remembering theres practically a whole roll of fabric in the scrap bin that i could use for the back of the quilt, and thats basically all the extra encouragement i needed

here's my general plan (blocked colours arent supposed to be accurate, more representative of which areas will be the same fabric)

and a lineart plan- ill be printing this out and sticking it together to make my pattern

im calling this a quilt but really im /thinking/ its gonna be more of a blanket- the fabric ill be getting from work is upholstery weight wool, thicker than a coating, so itll weigh a lot as is and have some decent chonk without any batting.

im undecided on the size right now- not sure if i should go for a single blanket size or limit myself to a bed runner kind of size. i think the design is one that gets easier the bigger it is, and itll make a better blanket if you can wrap yourself in it, but i imagine most the time ill be displaying it on the bottom of my bed and id like to be able to appreciate the full design.

for reference: single bed size is: 150 x 200cm (60in x 79in) a bed runner is around 100cm x 50cm ( 40in x 20in ) these are approximations as id obviously be trying to keep the design in ratio. (the design is about twice as long as it is wide)

my quilting plan is probably to just follow the seams, maybe add a motif in so i get a nice design on the back? perhaps some light from the lighthouse (this'd also help quilt down those big patches in the middle!

ive got a few bits im totally undecided on: whether ill do a kind of afterquilt on the back on just leave it entirely plain, how im gonna do the fine details on the lighthouse (im thinking maybe a button for the top? or even just embroidery?) im also debating if it should have the white border like its framed or not- i think itd probably look nice, and would be great to have brown binding to represent the picture frame, but white is probably a really hard fabric to grab from work sooooo

if you read all this i am giving u a forehead kiss <3

#ill probably do a proper little write up when i solidify plans; this is more of my ideas and a sketch of a plan #i only started this to get an idea of how much fabric to grab (specifically how many different colours) #and then i started thinking about plans and couldnt stop so i needed to write my thoughts down #im sorry once again. you must suffer me #if anyone ever wants to do a lighthouse quilt! or anything feel free to use my little refs #i just skewed some images i found of the painting until they were square and worked from there

[rene-darling]

SAYING- to them

I love you..you may as well take my heart [....] it's already full of you. When I heard beautiful music I thought you'd like it. I've looked at flowers and known that one day ill give them to you.

...Xiao...wanderer...kazuha...kaeya...

Xiao

Speechless, utterly speechless...what- what is he suppose to say to that?

"i-...ah..um.-" is this a trick? Are you joking? Are you lying are you taking his feelings for a joke because...its not possible you or anyone could actually mean the things you just said

R-right y-..you must be playing a prank!

For thousands of year's he protected people suffered for the well being of others and never has anyone of those people said anything as sweet as what you just said

He turns to you ready to dismiss your claim to tell you to stop lying to him to stop playing pranks but...when he looks into your eyes, the sincerity behind them tells him all he need to know, and a quiet sob escapes his lips...then another, then once more

"i-i really hope...i-in the name of rex lapis you're not lying to me-.." his voice becomes small and weak at the end bearly a whisper.

He cries softly but this time for the first time in his life, his tears are those of happiness

Wanderer

Immediately defensive

"..i- I don't need flowers nor your silky words.."

He doesn't believe you. Not one bit he feels as though you're lying and if he shows you his true feeling you'll take advantage of him.

Your lying right? Your going to betray him if he shows signs of being weak. But then, there's the thoughts that linger...what if..what if you did mean it...? Then what?

He- he can't deal with this! So he does what he knows best. He runs. He runs away and hides too afraid to approach you again especially after he ran..

Wanderer hides beneath his blankets like a small child curled up with his legs touching his chest softly crying some sliffles leave his mouth

Oh he's done it now!! you're gonna leave him too!! He- he can't why did he run! And y-you haven't come to find him...that means it is true you've left him-

He stills...then there's another knock with your sweet voice on the other side gently speaking urging him to open the door for you even though the door is open you ask for his permission to enter his private space

He wants to tell you to leave. But..he can't

Suddenly the door opens and his body crashes into yours, he sobs into your clothes and begs for forgiveness he's sorry!!..and...he loves you

Kazuha

Lover boy is stunned

He's used to being the one who says all the romantic stuff he's the one who's so used to you being shocked and surprised by his honey words..

So..when it happens to him...he- he's speechless, he's never been in this sort of situation...hes not sure of what to say to you

You chuckled seeing him be so speechless, on the occasion that you say something really sweet to him he usually has a quick remark back, he usually says something sweeter...but, but this time..

"m...my- I-" what's he supposed to say to such sweet words!?

He finally gives you the reaction you want buy blushing heavily and hiding his face into his hands "i-im the one who usually says such sweet words..i-..im not sure how to react my love.."

He gently hides his face before pulling his hands away and giggling so cutely "..thank you"

For once in your life you've rendered him unable of saying something sweeter back to you

Kaeya

As much as pretty boy wants to act like he has experience, he doesn't.

Especially not with such romantic words from another directed to him

He's all bark and no bite, he has no clue on how to even process said information

Like kazuha he's used to saying such pretty and delicately crafted words,

Not once has someone ever said something even slight close to this to him

He stands there looking at your face dumbfounded- did you really say that? No- yo-you wouldn't say such a thing...and to him?? Really..?

He's skeptical at first, he doesn't take you seriously. He doesn't take your words seriously he just tries to brush it off as a passing comment or something you said but didn't mean...

But oh you were so sweet! So gentle with him reassuring him again and again no matter how many times he tried to brush it off, you did mean it! Truly from the bottom of your heart and soul!!

But he just can't find it in himself to be able to believe you..he trusts you but, why..him?

Surprisingly he sheds a few tears then blame you for making him cry as you comfort him and panic a little he smiles softly, the words you spoke to him, He's sure he'll never forget them.

#genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin imagines #sub genshin #genshin hcs #genshin xiao #xiao fluff #xiao x reader #alatus #kaeya x reader #kayea alberich #genshin kayea #kayea #kazuha x you #kazuha x reader #kazuha fluff #genshin fluff #kazuha #wanderer #wanderer x reader #wanderer fluff #scaramouche imagines #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x you #scaramouche #Kaeya

[anthosaidsmth]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#vent incoming #hello I am once again using my silly tumblr blog to vent cuz I literally dont have anyone else in my life #life is just nothing but pain and suffering and my feeble attempt at distracting myself for long enough that I wont be miserable 24/7 #and even my distractions arent helping anymore. video games are now useless because of my dumb brain making everything competitive #writing and drawing dont work too cuz Im in a permant state of creativity block. they no longer bring me joy & are just tasks at this point #Im so fucking tired #every day Im just contemplating about how miserable my life have become #my peers are all enjoying a typical teenage life while Im too busy dealing with trauma to be social as soon as Im out of school #every day I have to pretend to be perfectly functional in front of my friends for 8 hours #because I cant just let the connections Ive built up to go after years of work because I am now mentally fucked #why the fuck did my trauma make me constantly crave attention & affection while also make me keep everyone at arms length #& turn hostile every time someone wants to learn more about me #I am constantly surrounded by people I talk to every single day yet I still feel nothing but loneliness #I feel like I am constantly one mental breakdown away from ending it all Im just in this weird limbo of dead and alive inside #if you read through all of these Im sorry but I have to kill you youve known too much #you must only know me as the funny tumblr person & that only

[timmie-p]

actor au returns <3 im not translating the other one bc i dont have twitter/X but enjoy this one. hopefully someone else posts a translation for the confession i actually want to read it 🙏

Extra: It’s hard to make a living…

Staff: I’ll be in soon—!

Till: Let’s not screw it up and finish in one take. One take. I don’t want to catch a cold and I don’t want the crew to suffer.

Ivan: Yep! Of course.

1st Attempt

Sfx: Kwak!

Ivan: I-I’m sorry…!

Till: It’s okay. Please restyle my hair here~

2nd Attempt

Till: (Whispering) When are you going to strangle me?

Ivan: Oh, I got too immersed, sorry…

Till: Next take.

Sfx: Whack!

3rd Take

Sfx: Crash

4th Take

Till: Ouch.

5th Take

Till: Let me see you for a minute.

Ivan: Oop, yeah!

Ivan: ((>_< He must be mad, what do I do~~!!)) Sorry, I’ve made so many mistakes..

Till: I once worked with a sunbae that I really admired.

Till: It was a moment I had been looking forward to for a long time, but I was so nervous that I messed up 10 takes, and it wasn’t even a difficult scene. Sunbae was visibly angry and the director rolled his eyes.. I thought my acting career was over.

Sfx: Sip

Till: I was so scared that I nailed it on the 11th take, and it was a good performance. But…

Till: Oddly enough, that scene has been hard to watch with my eyes open ever since. My heart pounds every time I see it.

Till: Just have fun with it. You got this far because you’re good at it, right?

Till: Let’s go. We’ll need to restyle our hair again.

Ivan: ((So…. So fucking cool~~~!!!!!!!!))

Sfx: Thump <3

#alien stage #alnst ivan #alnst till #loving this actor au lol #translations

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

beef with wasps

f!singer x andrei svechnikov

warnings: mentions of anaphylactic shock/severe allergic reactions, swearing, light joking of near death (to be clear: nobody dies in this), some fluff

liked by gracieabrams, rolemodel and 836,217 others

ynofficial: on behalf of y/n - she is conscious, well and in great hands. she told me to spare the details on what happened, but does want you guys to know that after suffering a wasp sting earlier this afternoon, she was rushed to the ER after going into anaphylactic shock. she gave us all quite a scare and will be in overnight for observations, but doctors are positive she'll make a full recovery

S x

view all comments

gracieabrams: thinking of you and wishing you the best recovery! <3

fan1: who tf is s?

fan2: that must have been terrifying, so glad she's ok now

fan3: sending love

reneerapp: ❤️❤️

comments for this post have been restricted

liked by olivia_dejonge, haleyluhoo and 921,375 others

ynofficial: they gave me so much fucking adrenalin i have a rocket up my arse rn and he's just gone to the vending machine bc im so hungry so im taking this opportunity to tell you guys that i almost died today but im ok and the reason theres no selfie is bc i look like a pickled dick rn and as charles boyle once said life is a party and im the pinata xxxxx and he did get me flowers without me even asking so im vv in love rn

view all comments

fan4: sorry you almost died?????

fan5: babe what did you think anaphylactic shock was

fan6: does the adrenalin also increase the meme usage

fan7: so she almost dies AND reveals she might be in a relationship??? my heart is breaking twice tonight

fan8: ok but the flowers???? she's got a real one there

fan9: i mean i'd like to think if you almost died your partner would get you flowers...

fan10: lmao you'd think so wouldn't you

liked by andrei_svechnikov37, madisonbaileybabe and 926,174 others

ynofficial: back home! i'm now on house arrest because "there aren't any wasps inside" (we have beef with their butts now). needless to say, it was scary for everyone, but as you can see, miley (the cat) is the only one unbothered. i'm currently typing this from under a human giant and i'm loving every second.

i'd also like to take the opportunity to apologise for my loopy instagram posting and let everyone who purchased tickets for the phoenix show know that they will be refunded. again, i'm incredibly sorry for any inconvenience!

view all comments

fan11: and you expect me to believe that human giant in the photo is NOT svech???

fan12: he also likes cats

fan13: and in her other post, it was signed off with 's'

fan14: girl don't apologise

fan15: is he ok?

ynofficial: bit teary but we're recovering!

fan16: NO SVECH DON'T CRY EVERYTHING IS OKAY

andrei_svechnikov37: ynofficial you almost died i'm not letting you go that easily

fan17: SVECH HELLO

liked by ynofficial, devonleecarlson and 57,931 others

andrei_svechnikov37: the family emergency has made a full recovery! (thank fuck) i also wanted to come on here and say that i'm unbelievably proud of this girl, and hilariously in love with her

view all comments

fan18: crying happy tears this is adorable

fan19: SVECH STOP RUINING MY STANDARDS

fan20: i love how she's wearing red in the last two pictures

ynofficial: shh he hasn't caught on yet

fan21: i've only had y/n and andrei for a day (officially), but if anything happened to them, i would kill everyone in this room and then myself

fan22: am i the only one who wants to know how long they've been dating?

fan23: no!! i do too

ynofficial: you're making me blush

liked by andrei_svechnikov37

fan24: y/n is so precious and idk who andrei is but i love him just for this caption

fan25: svech is definitely a cuddler

liked by ynofficial

liked by andrei_svechnikov37, sydney_sweeney and 1,028,285 others

ynofficial: i can't find the right words to express how happy and grateful i am to have you in my life, so i'm just going to settle with i love you so fucking much that sometimes i can't breathe because of it, okay?

view all comments

fan26: is andrei the inspiration behind out of my misery?

ynofficial: yes

fan27: you guys make me sick in a good way

fan28: wow you've got taste y/n

andrei_svechnikov37: saying you can't breathe is a bit too soon

ynofficial: LMAO I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE

andrei_svechnikov37: i love the love though

fan29: y/n i can't-

fan30: how long have you guys been together?

ynofficial: one and a half years!

fan31: y/n not being overly mushy on instagram and casually announcing she's dating an nhl player is my favourite part of this year so far

#andrei svechnikov x reader #nhl social media au #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey fic #hockey imagine

[3xen]

just for you; g. s genji is rushed to your operation room, believing it'll be dr. ziegler to operate on him.

n. wrote this on three hours of sleep w school tmr, and i actually liked it sm! idk yall, im getting back into my game plz bare w me.

c. first meeting, mentions of mercy (angela), lowk crack

“we have a patient in critical condition. he needs to be treated immediately.” god, angela where are you when i need you most? you double-take the patient in the gurney—genji shimada. his name had appeared more than once on your files. but never once was he sent to your aid. dr. ziegler was his primary doctor since she maintained most of his records and regular check-ups. 

the assistant rolled the gurney into the room. “please, notify dr. ziegler of mr. shimada’s status. im sure she’d want to know.” i inform, inspecting the patient with a cringe. his visor is damaged with a dent, wires sprouted from his shoulders, and his left lower limb seemed just too far out of place. 

“will do ma’am, ill be here if you need me.” the assistant left—leaving a tense silence in the air. 

“shimada, are you alright in there?” 

“im alright.” his words came out strained, almost as if he felt the physical pain being done to his body. you acknowledged that. as you moved to his side—determining how to treat the damages, he spoke in a soft voice. “is dr. ziegler unavailable?” and it made you wince. 

“she’s been transferred to overwatch headquarters in switzerland. i am so sorry.” he gave you a quiet hum—observing you through his visor. you looked attractive, beautiful, and it really intrigued him. you spoke in that angelic voice, had observant and quiet motions—he couldn’t wait to bury angela with queries. 

“your cooling system must have been tattered with. the wires don’t usually come out like this do they? reattaching your limb should be easy.. but, your wiring is jumbled—it’ll take a lot of time to install it properly,” in deep concentration, you furrow your brows, crossing your arms over your chest, and then sighed. “and, you must have suffered quite a blow to your face.” 

“ah, just a boulder. nothing special.” 

operations on flesh and bones were completely opposite of cybernetic and robotic parts. there was really no easy way to work around any mechanical part that ran on a code—not without guaranteeing its success.  

you stifled a quiet groan—turning away from your patient. you couldn’t admit to him you’ve never worked on a half-cyborg—actually, no one has in the nepal headquarters! 

“doctor?” 

“sorry, lets get to work right away.” 

you whisked tools in your hands from around the room—useless or not, you placed them on a moveable cart. “we’ll start on your leg, then work our way up.” 

as the operation began, you worked attentively. this must have been your most daring task yet. 

“doctor,” genji cooed once.

“ye-yes..”

genji cooed again—not being able to make out your coherent words. “doctor.” and it didn’t take long before you sprang up. 

“yes!”

“you are too focused. it makes me worry.” wasn’t that a good trait of a doctor? i pulled back, blinking twice at a loss.

“i suppose you are right..” you directed your eyes toward him. “ive never worked on a specimen like you.”  you unconsciously lowered your head.

“a cyborg?” you nod. 

“only dr. ziegler specializes in those preposterous things..” genji chuckled, causing you to perk up.

“you seem informed about it all.” 

“she only taught me a few things. ive also worked on cassidy’s cybernetic arm aswell. thats my only experience.” genji stared in awe—you picked up fairly quick.

when he arrived at nepal headquarters—wounded, he expected dr. ziegler. his visits with her were short—she was a busy woman, he knew. and when he found himself being in a room with someone other than her, he accepted his fate of chaos and disaster. 

“how long are you stationed here?” 

“about 2 months or so.. they want me back in zurich as soon as possible.” genji nodded in acknowledgment. really, he was intrigued.

© 3xen

#𓂃ᰔ xen writes #overwatch 2 #ow2 #overwatch 2 x reader #overwatch x reader #genji shimada #genji x reader #genji shimada x reader

[miloformula123fan]

Could you do fic for James Vowles with wife reader? With her being in the Williams garage, she witnessed Alex and Danny incident at the Japan GP and was so worried about them that she ended up going to James at the pitwall for his comfort. He decided to hug her while calming her down and going to both of the drivers to make sure they're okay. Just something fluff and little angst. Add something if you want to. Thanks!! :)))

what is it with me only getting these fics out like 2-3 weeks after the race, anyway, it's again so short but my mental health is suffering right now, so, and im happy with it the length it is.

Please keep requesting - y'all have awesome ideas we agree on a lot of stuff :) - my guidelines are here, and if you want some prompts, they are here.

also feel free to come in and start chatting to me in my asks, would love to get to know y'all better

and if you want to be added to my taglist let me know :)

---

“Come on Logan, show ‘em why you deserved to be in the car last weekend.” 

Logan nodded as he pulled his helmet on and gave a thumbs up and a fist bump to Y/N. It was her first weekend at the grand prix, as she preferred to stay at home, and let James call her to give her an update. But James had been pleading with her to come ‘just once’ and after the disaster weekend they’d had in Australia, she had braved the timezone and flown out for Japan.

She sat down on the folding chairs with the rest of the pit crew, while PR managers and assistants and anyone who liked James, which was 90% of the garage, was trying to persuade her to sit on a more comfortable chair. She shook her head smiling, insisting she was fine as long as she wasn’t in the way, on the folding chair, with the pit crew. 

James shook his head fondly, gazing at his wife as she chatted to Alex’s race engineer, before he slung his headset on and walked out to the pit wall.

Unfortunately the joy in the Williams garage lasted all of about 1 corner. A cheer erupted as they all got through turn 1 okay, but it was yelled too soon.

“As they make their way through AND OFF INTO THE WALL, off into the wall goes the 2 cars, and a big crash into the tire barrier,”

“Yeah, that’s going to be an immediate safety car, a heavy impact for Ricciardo and Albon…”

“Red flag, red flag.”

Y/N could see the anger as the mechanics grew angry, yelling stuff, but it all felt muffled underwater, as the camera cut to a replay of the crash. She sat there, staring as she watched Daniel and Alex’s cars clobber the barriers again.

So much for good luck this weekend. She watched as Daniel hopped out of the car, and she saw that Alex was having a little trouble due to the tyres almost balanced perfectly on his halo.

She heard the other cars filtering into the pits and as the pit crews dash around the cars Y/N escape through the garage and up to the pit wall, where she spotted James chatting to some of the other mechanics. She quickly crossed the pit lane and hopped up to the pitwall.

“Hey darling, what are you doing here?”

Y/N didn’t know what to say to that. What was she doing here? She looked at her husband trying to convey all of her current thoughts through her eyes. Thankfully he seemed to get the message and embraced her in a hug.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry, they’re both fine, they’re both okay. The red flag is because the barrier is destroyed and they’ll be here before the end of the red flag, okay? I’m sorry darling, that must have been terrifying to see that crash, especially when you have no information. How about you stay here, I think Alex and Daniel will come from there,” he pointed somewhere, Y/N wasn’t paying attention properly “so they’ll walk past here and you can see that they’re completely safe and sound.”

Y/N nodded at that, and snuggled in further to her husband’s embrace as he asked about tyres for Logan’s restart and discussed new strategy, keeping an eye out for the 2 drivers.

come walking down the pit lane. She careful extracted herself from James’ embrace, he nodded as he saw the 2 drivers arriving.

Y/N ran over and embraced them both in a hug, ignoring the commentators comments of ‘mom’ and ‘awwww’ and she pulled them in close and started rambling

“Oh my god, are you okay, that was a big crash, are you sure you don’t need to go to the medical centre, wait, hang on, what’s the test, uuhhhh, how many fingers am i holding up?”

“2, Y/N, relax, we’re okay.” Daniel put a hand on her shoulder

“Y/N breathe okay, I know that was a big crash and that I think was your first big crash while being here, so I’d imagine it's a little scary, but it’s okay. We’re both okay, Daniel and I in one piece.” Alex pulled her into a hug, before releasing her.

Y/N didn’t trust her voice, just nodding and furiously wiping away at the tears falling down her face.

“C’mon, I’ll get you back to James and then by the time the red flag is over, I’ll be back from media and we can watch the race together, okay?”

Y/N nodded again, smiling more than she was as Alex led her back to James.

“Keep her safe until I get back, yeah boss?”

“Oh come on Alex, you don’t trust me with my own wife?”

---

taglist: @leosxrealm, @tallrock35, @wolf-knights, @janeholt3, @pear-1206

#f1 x reader #miloformula123fan #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #james vowles x reader #james vowles #james vowles fanfic #james vowles fic #james vowles x female reader #james vowles x you #james vowles x y/n

[helioshellion]

hi im bucky and welcome to my long list of kiryu and majima headcanons mostly revolving around health related stuff bc that interests me. ive talked about it before but ive been wanting to reveal my mastermind plans for them. ive vaguely alluded to these all in my fics like friday night and phanto. anyways heres a list. may range from mildly nsfw but in a more medical way not a sexual manner since idc about that sort of thing

KIRYU

So for Kiryu he is a trans man who forgets his t injections every day of his life. every time he gets out of prison he has to restart on it and every time he has to go through all the initial stages once again like an evil cycle of hormones.

He has extreme nerve damage in his hands/fingertips due to severe hypothermia suffered at the end of Yakuza 5, and therefore cannot feel in his hands anymore.

Also suffers from a migraine disorder.

He deals with a very prominent compartmentalization problem stirred by his ever-changing life stages. A sort of out-of-sight-out-of-mind mentality born out of his fear of losing absolute control over his life. This goes hand-in-hand with general low empathy.

This also results in an extremely flippant attitude towards both sex and romance. He is not committal at all and does not imagine himself settling down. He is a reserved person, but he doesn’t shy away from sex. He lives in Kamurocho, after all. He’s just mostly desensitized and is mostly neutral towards it as he gets older.

 Yes hes bisexual love wins. But he has a low opinion of the men in his life thinking them callous and more difficult than he wants to deal with. This increases with his age and the worse the villains get. He almost has a mentality of needing to Win and Be Won in regards to romance. He must Prove Himself, or someone else must prove themself to Him.

Oh yeah and TMJ sorry to his jaw.

His life is in constant disarray and his self-contained environments reflect this. His living spaces are messes. Ashtrays filled with countless stamped cigarettes and shelves lined with half-eaten food and beer cans. He doesn’t want to be regarded as sloppy but theres something in his brain that makes him struggle with Cleaning his own spaces. There’s something about his mind that likes the control he has TO mess up his own space.

He has several single-tooth partial dentures mostly in his molar area. he has one prosthetic canine tooth.

He is no-op in regards to his transition. T has shrunk his chest enough that it sags loosely. If you’re curious, he’s dry as a desert down there. sorry.

He doesn’t exactly have a circadian rhythm. He sleeps and wakes up whenever he wants, and his brain does not register Night/Day. Meaning he could sleep through an entire day and his brain will not register sunlight. This results in getting him up to be extremely. Extremely difficult.

Big one, he lives with something like CTE. (Chronic traumatic encephalopathy (double parantheses because this condition cannot usually be diagnosed while someone is alive)) Which exemplifies his already present suicidal ideation and depression. Out of anyone in the series Kiryu has taken some of the Worst bodily trauma over a LONG period of time. It has taken a toll on his body and mind.

MAJIMA

Oh boy!

Majima has a hormone imbalance ever since the hole. if you remember in my fic Phanto I alluded to him being completely impotent and sterile due to a castration in the hole. He has gynecomastia and hypothyroidism but has no qualms about it. He’s not dysphoric about it at all, and tries to stay extremely vigilant about his testosterone intake (tgel, needles scare him).

Because of the above he has little to no sex drive, not to mention the extreme trauma relations to it. He has complexes on top of complexes about it. So he just doesn’t do it.

He has a weak right knee, which is the one he uses to kick/attack as he’s able to use his stronger leg as support. His arms and legs are longer than his torso, and he has an extreme slouch, which presents itself as a very permanent slouch crease on his stomach fold.

He has a distrust of men, mostly older than him, and is not a cis man, although he doesn’t have the language to describe himself or his sexuality. He’s old and doesn’t feel the need to.

Blatantly, not even just a Me headcanon, but Majima does have a mentality of needing to be beaten in order to fall in line. In relation to pretty much everything in his life. It’s much stronger the younger he is, and weakens as he gets older, aided by his improving mental state. By 7′s time, and he is an emotionally healthy person. Hiccups are to be expected, but they’re nothing to shame or be ashamed for.

In Dead Souls he discusses needing to keep his hair cut at an exact measurement. He is a massive micromanager in regards to Anything at any given moment. His living arrangements are extremely empty and uncreative.

The younger him was extremely flippant about caring for his eye, which resulted in several infections and close calls. It’s one of the reasons he decides to get his eye exenterated when he’s older. Somewhat of a symbolic thing as he works through his trauma, letting go of this thing that has clung to him, Literally an Infection. He changes things up, and lives happier for it. He wouldn’t have been alive it hadn’t been for Nishida.

He is one of the most intelligent people in the. Yakuza Team or whatever. Regardless of his deteriorating memory issues, he reads like a motherfucker and can beat anyone in almost any mind-game.

This is a byproduct of not considering the Kiwamis (majima everywhere and majima construction) as canon, but my Majima is very heavily inspired by 1, 2, and the movie iterations of Majima. Meaning, he is not a generally “nice” person. He is extremely empathetic, and reads people very well, but he tends to hold these qualities over peoples heads when he’s younger. As he gets older, these qualities shift to more. Altruistic purposes. He isn’t nice, but he is an understanding person.

I also shift the timeline around to place his marriage with Mirei before the events of 0 to allow better, smoother story progression. And I’m not going to handwave away anything he did because oh yeah did he fuck up.

Speaking of relationships, if Majima were to ever, he would be Very Attached. He is monogamous by heart, and is more about mental connections over inherently sexual or romantic. He is a One-and-Done person. He isn’t flippant like Kiryu, and holds an extreme amount of value in loyalty and love. He is not one for more monetary romantic gestures. He values touching a lot more, but discourages touching HIM. He’s stone. He feels love in being the one to touch, and for his partner to Be touched By Him. And I’m not talking about sexual practices or anything. But if that did progress to that, expect similar results.

However, adding to that, he is not going to try to “make things work” in any way. He will walk away if requested, and he will walk away at the inclination of things Just not working out. He jumps to conclusions quickly, but it is for good reason. Knowing when to bow out keeps him alive.

Back to body stuff. He has dentures along his entire bottom jaw. His top teeth are very discolored from smoking, resulting in a visible difference between his top and bottom teeth.

And whatever here’s Kazumaji bullshit too because I am predictable.

They’re more friends than lovers, if that makes sense. Regardless of the amount of love shared between them, their lives are a long string of boats passing by. Their loyalty for each other is extremely strong, and underlying love does carry this, but they can’t exactly settle down anytime soon. Majima talks to him as a confidant, not as a lover, and Kiryu speaks to him the same. It’s almost more intimate in a way. Neither of them put up fronts when they’re alone. They are both private together, speaking to each other ways they’d never speak to anyone else.

If we’re on a scale, Kiryu is the more romantically affectionate one. He’s the one who thinks of dates, who thinks of kissing, who thinks of whatever else. Majima doesn’t initiate any of this due to his before-said complexes on top of complexes.

Yet, on the flip side, Majima is the one who could most easily fall into domesticity. It’s something he’s fantasized for himself ever since he was a boy, and something he cast aside immediately following the hole. He imagined a family impossible for him, and has attempted to cast aside that part of himself. But there’s no destroying Who you Are. He wants to be a tender person. Once Saejima, his strongest familial relationship, returns, he lets that side of himself regain a foothold in his brain.

This is both supported and contradicted by canon depending on the game, but I’ll settle on one. Despite Majima’s reservations and trauma, he is more trusting than Kiryu in a lot of situations. (In Yakuza 2: “There’s nothing wrong with putting your trust in a guy...”) Kiryu will tend to be cynical and have to be “won” in order for him to put his trust in you. Majima, however, will put his trust if he feels he can, but is very liberal with rescinding it.

Kiryu goes through a phase in his romantic relationship with Majima where he feels unwanted due to Majima’s low intimacy drive. The only way that’s resolved is by talking. There’s a lot of things they cannot get out of their relationship with each other, and that’s absolutely fine. They find other things to make it work.

On the flip side....... Kiryu’s revolving-door life results in Majima feeling cast aside again and again. It’s not that Kiryu thinks of hurting Majima, but his idea of romance is very different to Majima’s. He thinks he can just put on a new skin and live out an entirely different life as a different person. This is what causes their relationship to fizzle out time and time again. Their relationship is a very, very unstable wave. It’ll be strong, weak, whatever. The bottom line is that they’re never going to be able to reach that Perfect Meeting Point.

BUT this is all from Yakuza 1-6....Post 7, and I have no idea! Maybe they can try again and see themselves more successful due to their Very different life circumstances. Without the clan to hold either of them back, maybe they can make things work. However, I can’t imagine them ever making anything “”official”” as in calling each other boyfriend Or getting married. Their relationship is strange and tumultuous but they genuinely. wholeheartedly Love each other.

#artbucky #kiryu kazuma #majima goro #kazumaji

[jovenshires]

hii i’m new to the smosh fandom and i was wondering what are some like Must See videos i need to watch cause they are the only thing i’ve been watching for like three days straight

oh my god............. to have this task placed before me is an honor and yet. so many to choose from so little time. im sorry im just throwing everything at you at once i tried to narrow it down and failed MISERABLY so here you go:

i would say tntl is a must-see series in general, but it's a LOT of episodes, so i think the two best episodes to see are the 100th episode and the first episode including anthony. these are both heavy hitters, extremely funny, i cannot rec either of them enough

if you're in for a longer video, the cheating reddit stories is everything to me and the best example of this series i love so much. amanda and angela have such good chemistry and shayne is so good in this one, not to mention the stories.... oh my god im getting emotional just thinking about it.

im not really the person to go to for sketches (im more of a smosh pit/games person) BUT i will say the new food battle is incredible if you're into the sketches. no need to see the prior food battles (i haven't seen them in Years), all fun, just vibes

all the try not to win videos are so funny to me like the peak of unscripted content imo, but my favorites are don't win mario party gets physical and somehow we got WORSE which was just released. both contain shenanigans and violence and both make me laugh SO hard i bust a gut every time

the two truths and a lie series is everything to me, and specifically, if you can endure awkwardness and suffering, ian and pam's OR if you want like a fun silly goofy time, ian and anthony's. of course if you're here on my blog i can also rec spencer and tommy's!

let's do this entering our scammer era is iconic. i miss lets do this every day and this is THE best ep

board af is my beloved; specifically the queen of lies plays secret hitler and will they say i do? (love is blind) are both everything to me

who memed it is everything to me, good for lore and good laughs, specifically roasting each other with memes

eat it or yeet it is, everyone knows, one of my fave series of all time, and my personal faves are it's our birthday and truth or yeet: things get real they're both SO good

and finally im gonna throw in the funeral roasts here. they're all incredible truly but im dropping damien's funeral roast bc i think it's the best example of the series while still playing inside baseball (my other faves are try guys and mythical so i decided not to include them)

once again im so sorry to throw all this at you but these are some of my top picks!!! and im sure there's some im forgetting and i will kick myself in an hour but i hope this is a good start <3

#sorry i dont have any like. pre-mythical smosh on here <3 im bad with that #ask #asks #anon #anonymous #long post

[buckyalpine]

Yk, I dont like angst, and I so do not like cheating fics. I agree with u, it could be triggering for me as well. (I read it anw still bc I like hurting myself) But i really love how you ended all of it. Never once did the reader forgave and took Bucky back. Love it.

If I may suggest, (solely for my petty ass self’s satisfaction) something for boundaries bucket and Sharon.

Like the group intentionally planned on going somewhere (just overnight) and excluded Bucky (a vacay, a celebration). Thats just the start tho. Bc y/n decided to invite Sharon to accompany bucket while theyre gone. And all of these info were given to bucket right before they left. Something like:

B: hey where are we going tonight?

Y/N: oh well, its (insert event) and WE *literally pointing at the group and excluding bucket* will be gone until tomorrow.

B: bu-

Y/N or nat idk hehe: and since we care sooo much abt you getting lonely here, we decided to invite Sharon over, so she could entertain you, keep you company, yk? You seem to like her presence so much anw.

B: no. I do not want her in anyway at all. I dont need her here. Just send her home.

Steve(?) maybe: oh do you not like the idea of us knowing? You guys would like to interact with the idea that you guys are hiding? You like the thrill?

Y/N(?) maybe: well, easy, maybe just forget and pretend that we dont know!

set it up like this in your head Sergeant Barnes, we told you we would be gone overnight, you decided this is the perfect time to go behind our backs again since yall badly miss and need e/o, so u invited her here, and bam! There ya go. You got the whole scenario set up.

Steve (?): I heard she misses you, you must miss her a lot, no?

B: no. No I do not want anything involving her, never needed nor missed her. If she goes here….

IDK SOMETHING LIKE THAT (it doesnt have to be exactly the way the convo went). I just love the idea of them always excluding bucket out unless necessary to include him, then pushing it in his face that he chose Sharon’s pussy over everything else, so he must live with it. Also Sharon may have liked bucky but all she would get from bucky after that incident is a glare of disgust. She kept throwing herself at bucky but in the end bucket avoided her like plague, even said he hates her more than hydra.

(Idk maybe im petty? Maybe I do not let go easily? Maybe im putting the blame too much on Bucket, but I just want them to suffer sooo much, emotionally.)

But this is just a scene? I think? Its your choice what plot, how it starts or ends, whatsoever, I trust ur creative and beautiful mind 💙

I'm sorry this took for fucking ever to get to, I hope this is sort of how you imagined it.

Months later after the incident:

Bucky looked at the pile of bags by the door, confused since he hadn't been told about any missions and it was rare the group went anywhere together. You sauntered in with a tiny sundress, adding a few last minute items to your bag, ignoring Bucky as he looked at you longingly. He still loved you. So much.

It was one thing to lose you if things simply didn't work out; the way he lost you was so much worse. He clenched his fists, trying to calm himself down before speaking.

"What's with all the bags...?"

You turned around, smiling at him sweetly, the smile he missed so much. The smile you only genuinely gave

"Well, WE are going to Clint's cabin for the weekend"

"Oh-

"Surprised no one told you, after all I even invited Sharon just to keep you company"

You shrugged at his hurt expression, continuing to arrange your bag. Bucky's jaw clenched, he'd ignored Sharon’s mass of calls and texts, surely 50 of them must have been regarding this trip but he never bothered checking.

“I- I don’t even want her, just send her home, or uninvite her, I never even liked her, she-

“She was wrapped around your dick” You snorted while Steve came to start putting things in the Jet. 

“Go easy on him y/n, maybe they just like the excitement of sneaking around and and fucking each other behind peoples backs. Honestly, if that’s what gets you off, we’re more than happy to pretend we don’t see you” 

You nearly cackled while Steve threw a few bags over his shoulder, not bothering to look at Bucky who was most likely about to cry. 

“Just pretend we don’t even know! I’ll even lay it out for you, picture this. We just told you we were taking a quick trip out of state and since you’re star crossed lovers, who just desperately miss and need each other so badly, you decided to take a romantic getaway here while we were all gone. I’m pretty sure Tony made some upgrades to the cabin, the walls are probably sound proof” 

“Y/n, please...” Bucky looked at you with pleading eyes, this was so much worse than any pain he’d experienced before. “I don’t like her, I still love you” 

You ignored him, zipping up your luggage while Nat walked by smirking. 

“Hmmm I heard she misses you” She sassed, rolling her eyes seeing Sharon making her way down the elevator. “You must miss her too, right? You guys had some real chemistry” 

Bucky remained silent, watching you while his heart continued to break. You were supposed to be his girl. It was supposed to be you. The girl he married, the girl he had a family with, the girl who he grew old with. 

He hated it. He hated himself. He had 100 choices he could have made every single time he had slipped up. It was bad enough it happened more than once. He betrayed you. He betrayed Steve. He couldn’t even look at himself in the mirror, feeling pure disgust and guilt with himself.  

Did he fuck up royally? Yes. 

Did he genuinely love you? Also...yes. And he always would. This wasn’t something he was ever going to move on from.

“Baby...” Bucky’s voice cracked as you shook your head, walking away. He’d times as many times as he could, begging and pleading. He knew the damage was done. He knew you’d never come back to him, even though he was going to wait for you for the rest of his life. 

“Bucky!” Sharon smiled, making her way towards him. Bucky felt bile rise in his throat, it didn’t matter how many times he told her he was done, she continued to throw herself at him. “You didn’t reply to my message. Everyone’s going to the cabin”

“Don’t you feel an ounce of guilt?” Bucky growled, staring at her packed bags in disbelief. 

“For what?” She snorted, shrugging nonchalantly, her eyes trailing up and down his body. 

“Sharon, I- never mind.  I can’t make this any clearer, I’m not interested” 

Bucky tried to shove past her to go back to his room while she ran after him, grabbing his arm. 

“But it’ll be so much fun! We’ll even get our own room” She whispered by his ear and Bucky could feel his blood boil. He yanked his arm out of her grasp, nearly knocking her off balance. “Don’t you like me-

“WILL YOU FUCK OFF?! PLEASE?!” Bucky took a few steps back, his patience reaching his limit. “I NEVER FUCKING LIKED YOU” 

Sharon gaped, staring at him like a fish out of water. Nothing pissed her off more than the fact that Bucky still liked you, 

“Why the fuck do you still like her?! Have you seen her? You can do so much better- 

Bucky ran a hand over his face, taking a few deep breaths that did nothing to calm him down but he didn’t want to do something he’d regret. He’d already done enough of that. 

“Fuck off. FUCK OFF I lost my girl because of a stupid fucking choice I made, I’ll deal with those consequences now, but that doesn’t mean I want you. I never wanted you. We fucked. That’s it. I loved her and I STILL love her” 

“You-You can’t do this to me, 

“Sharon, in all fucking honesty, Hydra wasn’t as awful as you” 

Sharon scoffed, tears streaking her face as she threw her bag to the floor before going back to her room. 

“Shall we go, pretty lady?” You squealed as Thor effortlessly swept you off your feet from behind, carrying you to the jet. (Or some other character if Thor isn’t your cup of tea, pick through your roster of choices) 

“You don’t have to carry me” You giggled, throwing your arms around his neck, snuggling into his hold.

“And let my princess walk while carrying these bags all day?” He gasped, before kissing your nose. “Absolutely not” 

Bucky watched you leave in his arms, your eyes twinkling, your laugh echoing down the hall. He broke a hole in the wall. Then another. Even after utterly destroying his room, he felt nothing. No sense of relief. You were gone. You were not coming back. 

The nightmare he brought on himself would never end. 

-

(and then it was all a dream, and he woke up from the nightmare and you were snuggled by his side and he proposed to you the next day and you got married and Steve was the best man and then you had lots of sex and had lots and lots of babies and grew old together the end im never writing about this godawful au again) 

Please let me know if you want to be added or removed! (also this is an 18+ blog, I can’t tag nameless/ageless blogs)  

Tags: @glxwingrxse @hungryyeyes @sebsgirl71479 @beabutterfly987 @teambarnes72 @witchy-whore @jamesbuckybarneswify @slutforsexyseabass @chrisdrysdale​ @littlemarvelmenfan​ @buggy14​ @whimsyplaty92​ @sergntbarnes​ @inkedaztec​ @pono-pura-vida​ @moonlightreader649​ @brooklynscherry-z​  @elle14-blog1​ @littlelightnings​ @psychomanniac-blog​ @happyt0exist​ @emmabarnes​ @bethyruth​   @matchat3a​ @cjand10​ @getwellsoontana​ @cherryschaos​ @lokisasgardianvampirequeen​   @ashenc-blog​   @buckybarnessimpp​  @potatothots​ @goldylions​   @high-functioning-lokipath​  @morganemorgane​ @peaches1958​ @kingfleury

#Bucky Barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes cheating #cheating bucky barnes #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes angst #bucky angst #bucky cheating fic #bucky cheating #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fan fic #bucky fan fiction #marvel angst #avengers angst #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #sharon carter #Steve Rogers #natasha romanoff #bucky barnes x reader #cheating bucky barnes x reader

[thisisadonaldduckblognow]

yes a thousand percent absolutely lets go

(firstly i am sorry my post put anyone to a point of feeling the need to apologize for or feel bad for being Very Into Leo’s character. as someone who is flagrantly Very Into Raph’s character, i promise i wasn’t trying to throw a stone in this glass house. i’ve gotten burnt out on a lot of fanon leo stuff but part of why im so !!!! about it is bc i too love leo’s characterization and potential.. i swear

catch me catching my brain and tone malfunctions behind dennys later, sorry again gang)

BUT YE I’LL TALK ABOUT MOVIE RAPH STUFF TO MY BEST CAPACITY ALL DAY

overall i honestly... totally get raph being hard to get a handle on in this respect. like it’s pretty difficult to pick where to start and how to express it even just in an informal tumblr analysis post, i still haven’t managed to put together any kind of fic myself LMAO. bear with me i will do my best!

so firstly there’s just the veritable gauntlet of “stuff raph experienced/was dealing with in the span of the movie” to consider, i think. 

- his fear and anxiety over his family’s safety, for which he always always feels personally responsible. when he called the retreat during that first fight with the krang, he was absolutely terrified-- and i can only imagine how much scarier it was after leo bailed on the escape pod. like, there’s no way raph was not hauling ass after leo the second he saw that happen.

= he takes a hit for leo, as in just barely stops it and loses a chunk of shell/plastron in the process. he sacrifices himself using his pod to get leo out of there safely (and there’s so much to be said about the fact that raph’s pod seems to be the only one that didn’t auto-activate. that only he and donnie seemed to know they even existed. there’s a whole talk they must have had right there, like raph would probably have had to ask specifically for this feature.)

- the krang try to intimidate answers out of him about the key, and when that doesn’t get them those answers, prime literally jams tentacles into his brain and roots around until he can find what they’re looking for. so that’s one bullet point on the list for outright mental violation. it looks/sounds very painful, not to mention terrifying. 

^^ and honestly, this point of suffering in particular is one that i think would be hardest for raph to actually bring up/talk about with his family. because none of them were there. none of them KNOW. and how do you explain that to them? how do you try to make yourself break that out when they’re already worried about the other stuff that happened to you and to everyone else? when part of you is guilty about it despite yourself, because so much of your identity is tied into being a protector that you can’t help but feel like you should have been able to wall that info off somehow and keep your family safe?

- gets infected by the krang and put into the big gross pod to... incubate, i guess? there’s so much unanswered about the point between brain torture and getting found by his family tbh. was he conscious and aware of being left alone in there? was that why he was so out of it even before the mutation?

- and then of course there’s said painful, grotesque body horror forced krang mutation that he has to go through once he’s out of the pod! thanks i hated it! like it seriously looks so gross and painful.

- ah yes and the mind control... being used as a tool and a puppet and specifically set out to hurt or even kill the family he loves and wants to protect. 

- the standard “we had our cool epic boss fight against the evil alien but he kicked our asses with one flick and then punched mikey and donnie all the way to staten island” physical roughage, too. leo portaled him after mikey and donnie so he could catch them. donnie took the brunt of the krang punch, and raph took the brunt of the hard landing (he is holding his side like he might have some rib issues, they all look rough af down there phew)

- leo’s sacrifice is leo’s sacrifice and definitely a leo development moment as an action itself, i’m never gonna say 'yep here’s how leo getting brutalized in prison dimension is all about raph’. i’m talking about the like, aftermath and pre-rescue emotional toll that that has etc etc etc. ftr.

point one there is obviously just the grief. like, raph is literally incapable of standing when it hits. he’s on all fours, he can’t open his eyes. i made a post comparing the caps of raph’s face getting stabbed and raph’s face when it was sinking in that leo was (apparently) Gone gone bc the expressions are nearly identical. like just. absolute agony. 

- and on top of that, i sincerely think that leo’s “you’re one to talk, hero moves are totally your thing” apparent last words are gonna stick with raph for a very long time. even after they save leo. the look on his face after leo says that... man. i think there’s a very real moment of raph going what have i done, what did i teach him? about the entire situation.

the way this is already tl;dr oh well SO IG SOME OF MY GENERAL TAKEAWAYS AND THINGS I THINK ABOUT WHEN IT COMES TO POST-MOVIE RAPH:

first and foremost. rip raph sufferer of some of the most intense eldest child syndrome i’ve ever seen. he feels bad that he got used to get his family’s location. he feels bad that he got used to harm and nearly kill his family. he probably feels bad that leo feels bad that his shell is damaged, smh. it’s guilt all the way down. the kind where he knows logically his family does not want or need apologies, that getting controlled was literally not his fault, but he feels bad anyway.

and like i said i get how it’s hard to get a handle on him for stuff, because raph is also... not super good at the emotional vulnerability sharing? it’s so wild because he’s very openly emotional and easy to read! he’ll cry during a sad movie scene and yell at a frustrating video game no problem, he’s very straightforward! but when it comes to sincere vulnerability and actually seeking comfort/closure about it, he has a big struggle vibe. good luck to the entire family bc every single brother is gonna be in a “oh but everyone else already has so much to deal with i don’t wanna pile more on with my problems” zone, i think. 

also just like. raph is a protector. that’s one of the core pillars of his sense of identity and worth. he takes care of his brothers. he keeps his family safe. and so so so much of what he went through or experienced in the movie went directly against that. raph, the big brother, the beating heart of the team, the one who takes hits, the overprotective mother hen, gets used to track down his family, and then gets used to hurt them. very nearly gets used to kill leo outright. isn’t there to take the hit for leo again at the end of the movie, is helpless as his little brother seemingly sacrifices his life to save them and the world. how does he come to terms with that? how does he feel like he still deserves the trust and faith that his family puts in him to keep being a rock? (they’re not scared of him, but he’s scared of him.)

and for real seriously how does he ever ever get around to dealing with that brain probe and the mutation specifically. his mind and his bodily autonomy got so deeply violated in the process of this movie. it’s scary! and painful! what kind of scenario would a writer even have to rig up to back him into enough of a corner to share those feelings with his family (who would absolutely want to comfort and support him)! it’s nightmarish stuff that’s gonna linger with him for the rest of his life. 

and in fact on the mutuation/mind control. i think the fact that leo was able to get through to raph just with words, that that was how he managed to break through the control, maybe means that raph was aware of what he was being made to do all along and just. unable to pull enough strength together to stop it before that point. woof.

idk idk if any of this makes real sense or helps for getting a handle on raph’s character at all tbh, it’s just a lot of me nonsensically putting him in a jar with a leaf and a stick for scientific observation ig. if ppl wanna hit me w questions or discussions about my personal opinions on my favorite boi feel free tbh

maybe the real raph character analysis was the hug and nightmare-free nap he probably desperately needs all along....... ah its too late hes dissociating on the couch. relatable.

#rottmnt #rottmnt raph #rise raph #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt movie #we try to make sense at almost midnight

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Settlement

hiii feel free to ignore this if ur not taking request(im sorry if thats the case) but i love your roman angst fics and i know this isnt very specific but could you make some more roman hurt/comfort with janice? other than that i just really want to say is your writing is excellent, i think how you describe wanting to disappear really accurately(if that makes sense lol). as someone who has many issues with that when you write it it makes it feel more real. <3 – anon

Read on AO3

Warnings: none

Pairings: roceit, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 1375

Some rivalries are best put to rest.

    "Hey, you okay?"

Roman looked up and quickly wiped his eyes. Janus stood a few feet away, hands twisted into his cloak. "Yes. I'm—I'm fine."

He scuffed his boot against the carpet. "Well, you don't seem fine."

Shit. "Look—" he pushed himself to sit a little straighter, plastering a smile on his face— "really, really, I'm okay."

Janus gave him a look, eyes narrowing. Roman swallowed. His hands balled into fists and he looked down.

"Just go away, please?"

I'm not gonna cry in front of you. I'm not going to fucking cry in front of you. You're not getting the satisfaction.

Distantly, he heard footsteps get closer, then rustling of clothes as someone sat next to them.

"…I know I may not be the someone you want to talk to," came the quiet voice, "but I…"

He swallows.

"Obviously I'm capable of leaving you like this."

Roman's fists clenched. "You're never had a problem leaving me like this before."

Janus makes a noise of surprise. "I've never left you like this!"

Anger flared bright and bitter and Roman's head snapped up, glaring. "Yes, you have, I've just never let you see it!"

At the sight of Janus' mouth falling open in shock, he drew back a little. He's—okay, he may have never let Janus see how badly he was hurt, but he'd never seen Janus so visibly hurt. Not like this, at any rate. He decided he didn't like it.

After a few seconds, he looked at the ground again, absentmindedly chewing his lip.

Shouldn't have yelled. Should've been nicer. After all, here Janus was, genuinely trying to be supportive and what was Roman doing? Being a jerk, like always, and it's not Janus' burden to suffer.

"Just leave," he mumbled, hugging his knees to his chest, "you don't have to feel bad about it or anything. I'm sorry I yelled at you."

He missed the way Janus looked over, hurt and guilt fading behind concern as he watched goosebumps begin to rise under the thin white sleeve of Roman's costume. He missed the way his expression softened further, gaze flicking over his face once more. He missed the way Janus took a deep breath, as if pondering something, before letting it out as he came to a decision.

"Hey," he said quietly, nudging Roman until he looked up, "I'm going to do an impression of you."

Roman's chest clenched. If Janus was just going to mock him—

He gasped as warm hands cupped his cheeks, gentle fingers tucking bits of hair behind his ears.

"Shh," Janus murmured, his voice gentler than Roman had ever heard it, "I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but it's going to be alright. You're going to be okay. I'm right here."

Roman's eyes widened, breath catching in his throat. Janus shifted closer, one hand cupping the back of his head as another began to gently brush the tears from his face.

"I know it's hard right now," he murmured, still far, far too soft, "but you're doing great. I'm here for you, however you want me to be."

"H-how—"

A bit of the Janus he recognized reappeared as he smiled. "I told you, I'm doing an impression of you."

Roman stared at him, gaze darting over his face to try and find the lie, the trick, the deception that must be there. "But how did you—"

"Figure out it's what you needed too?" He brushed away another tear. "It's like you said, isn't it? 'We all eventually become the person we needed when no one was there?'"

"…you remember that?"

Janus blinked, a light pink dusting the top of his ears as he looked away. "I do listen to you, Roman."

If the warm hands on his face weren't still sending volts and jitters through his body, perhaps he wouldn't have asked. But the tenderness had blindsided him and he did.

"…what else is in this impression of me?"

"Well, normally, you ask if someone wants advice or if they just want you to listen." Roman nodded, still taken aback that Janus knew that. "Are you asking why I didn't do that?"

At his nod, Janus smiled and shifted, easing a cramp in his leg.

"I've seen you ask Patton and Logan," he said, "and the two of them jump to giving you advice, don't they? As if you haven't already thought of plans A-Z and tried everything yourself, Creativity."

The role, thrown in his face so often, sounds dangerously close to an endearment as it leaves Janus' mouth.

"So I figured you probably wouldn't want that."

Janus…knew that. He'd watched—he'd seen Patton and Logan try to help him when he was upset. And somehow he'd known—he knew it was wrong.

Guilt about snapping at him earlier settled heavily in his stomach.

"I didn't know you cared."

Janus paused, hands stilling. He swallowed, ears flushing again but this time, he held his gaze.

"I do," he said clearly. "Care, that is."

Far away, a car drove down the street, dull roars fading into silence. Roman swallowed and nodded.

Fuck it.

"Yeah?" Janus smiled as Roman inched a little closer. "Would you like some comfort?"

Roman nodded again, almost frantically. Janus just held out his arms.

"C'mere, then."

The angle was awful. Their knees were in each other's ribcages. Their shoulders wouldn't fit together. The sofa started digging into their legs, but it was perfect.

When was the last time someone held him like this?

"Hang on, let me just—" Janus moved his leg, sitting almost sideways on the sofa so Roman could scoot into the open space— "there."

One hand cupped the back of his head, another rubbing his back. He was so there, so warm and solid and so much better than sitting alone in the dark on the cold couch. The sobs he'd worked so hard to trap in his chest tore from his throat.

"Hey, hey," came the soft voice, "shh-shh-shh, it's okay, you're safe."

He felt the hold on him shift as Janus started to pull away and flailed, grabbing hold of him before he could let go. Sillily, selfishly, stupidly—

"Whoa, whoa, easy sweetie, I'm not going anywhere?" A finger tilted his chin up. "Are you okay? Am I hurting you? No? Okay."

Slowly, the arms returned, holding loosely at first before Roman whimpered and it tightened.

"Let it out," Janus murmured, "it's okay. I won't go anywhere."

He cried.

Janus held him the whole time, occasionally murmuring things like you're safe, I've got you, or try and match your breathing to mine, that's it, or shh, shh, I'm right here, I'm right here.

Eventually, he sagged against him, exhausted. Janus chuckled gently, helping him adjust until he was practically dipped in his arms. He brushed away some of the hair and smiled as Roman shifted, wiping his face with his sleeve.

"That seemed like a lot," he said quietly, "you feel any better?"

"Face is all poufy. And my head hurts."

"Yeah, crying will do that."

"Which one?" Janus just grinned. Roman sniffled again.

"Thank you."

Instead of something like no problem, or you owe me, Janus suddenly looked nervous. "I, um, forgot something. Of my impression of you."

"What?"

Janus leaned down and slowly pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Oh.

Oh.

Why did you do that? How did you know I do that? How many times have you seen me do that? How many times have you wanted to do that? How come I didn't get to kiss you first?

What came out instead was: "You're gonna make me cry again."

"Okay," Janus whispered, kissing his forehead again, "crybaby."

The nickname never sounded so sweet.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl

#sanders sides #fic #dragonbabbles #roman sanders #janus sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit

[that-one-pretty-bitch]

hey.

its me

i feel like im always requesting ppl idk why..

can you do eros(your throne) x reader whos been helping him with his plans in the shadows?Like she set up some of the plots that have hindered psyche.

𝒪𝒻 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒 𝒷𝒶𝒷𝑒!! 𝐼 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓁 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓈𝑒𝒸𝓇𝑒𝓉𝓁𝓎 𝒷𝑒 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝐸𝓇𝑜𝓈 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒶𝓁𝓈𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝒶 𝓃𝑜𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝒻𝒶𝓂𝒾𝓁𝓎 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓈𝒽𝑒 𝑔𝓇𝑒𝓌 𝓊𝓅 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝒻𝒶𝓂𝒾𝓁𝓎 𝒾𝓈𝓈𝓊𝑒𝓈 𝓈𝑜 𝓈𝒽𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒸𝑜𝓁𝒹, 𝒹𝒾𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓅𝓊𝓁𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓋𝑒. 𝒮𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓈𝑒𝒸𝓇𝑒𝓉𝓁𝓎 𝒷𝑒 𝓈𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝑀𝑒𝒹𝑒𝒶 𝒶𝓈 𝒶 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝓂 𝑜𝒻 𝓇𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃𝑔𝑒 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝓃𝒶𝓃𝓃𝓎 𝒷𝑒𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓀𝒾𝓁𝓁𝑒𝒹. 𝐻𝑒𝓇 𝓂𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝑔𝑜𝒶𝓁 𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝑜 "𝒽𝑒𝓁𝓅" 𝐸𝓇𝑜𝓈 𝓀𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝒫𝓈𝓎𝒸𝒽𝑒. 𝐼𝒟𝒦 𝒾𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝓇𝑜𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓉𝒾𝒸 𝑜𝓇 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓉𝑜𝓃𝒾𝒸 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇 𝒾𝓈 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓅𝓊𝓁𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓋𝑒, 𝓁𝑒𝓉𝓈 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝓈𝒶𝓎 𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒷𝑒 𝒶 𝓉𝑜𝓍𝒾𝒸 𝓈𝑜𝓇𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝓇𝑜𝓂𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒.

Alright, that was a LONG intro, let's get into the story

                           ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯

                                       ↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

“Lady y/n, Lady Solon is here to see you,” A servant spoke as you were examining a vial of deadly nightshade poison.

What an unusual visit, usually y/n would always know in advance whenever her dear friend paid her a visit and she would prepare for it. Nonetheless, y/n was happy that she would get to see her again. Her meetings with Medea had become rare since she became Crown prince Eros’s unofficial consort. She happily opened the door to her room but was stunned to see THE Medea Solon in tears! Seeing Medea in tears tore at your own heart because the two of you were so close. Seeing Medea cry was so rare- no it was new, she never cried. Something truly AWFUL must have happened to the lovely girl that you adored so much. 

Medea slowly walked toward you as you opened your arms, she made no attempt to speak. You simply pulled up to chairs but your office desk and motioned for her to go one. Medea wiped her tears but her expression still looked pained,

“Oh y/n, I'm so glad I have you in my life. Today I found out that despite being Crown Prince Eros’s unofficial escort he picked another woman, I believe her name is Psyche, to become the crown princess and now I will not go down in history. Once my father found out about this, he killed my dearest nanny,” She said attempting to calm down

Anger was the only thing you felt. You had met Medea’s nanny before and knew that she played the role of a mother in Medea’s life. However, grieving is no help at all, instead revenge ought to be taken.

“Medea darling~ It's truly a shame to hear about this, I know you looked up to her as a mother and I'm incredibly sorry for your loss. However dear, instead of grieving about her loss, why don’t you take revenge? Hmm? We could start from that ‘Psyche’ girl and then move on to Eros and eventually your father, he shall receive the most painful death of them all,” You cooed

The pain in her eyes had turned into something much more sinister. How could she have lost herself like that? She wasn’t weak? She was strong, she was THE Medea Solon.

“That sounds lovely and from the look that you seem to be giving me, you must have a plan in mind? Yes?” Medea inquired

“Of course I do, leave it up to me and I will disclose everything to you in the end,” Y/n smirked

“Ohhh y/n~ always so mysterious, what will I do with you~,” Medea attempted to laugh. Y/n’s company and her evil ideas always cheered her up. She knew that she could leave this up to y/n and left knowing very well that she trusted y/n with her entirely.

As Medea left the room y/n couldn’t help but think of all the wonderful ways she would make them suffer, after all nobody hurts the only person who she can feel sane around.

As sane as it gets in the l/n and solon household

******Timeskip a few days*******

“Good Evening, Crown prince Eros,” Y/n bowed and smiled seductively

Eros was unaware of the plan Y/n had against him, he was simply enchanted by her goddess-like beauty. Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt if he had another affair, now would it?

“I was wondering if I could work for you perhaps…as an assistant? This may be a little rushed your highness but I have nowhere else to go, please take me in as your assistant,” Y/n bowed, oh how utterly disgusting it felt to be bowing to a being below her.

Eros had known the L/n family and was well acquainted with them; he had no problems with letting y/n in on his plans. Most of the trade he did was with the L/n family anyway, if anything this could prove to be beneficial for him. He immediately accepted the woman and told her to always be around him. 

‘Oh my~how easy he is~~’ y/n smirked, masking the sinister smile under her embroidered hand fan.

“E-eros, who is this woman?” Psyche stared at y/n curiously

 ‘She is very beautiful like a goddess,’ Psyche thought as she stared at y/n with stars in her eyes

“She is my assistant y/n, Psyche you may get acquainted with her,” Eros spoke sharply causing Psyche to flinch.

Oh my~ she isn’t even half as pretty as my darling Medea~~ Is she REALLY the “chosen one” y/n thought.

Psyche excitedly hurried towards y/n and grabbed her arm and brought y/n to her room.

“Lady y/n! You're so pretty, I wonder if emeralds would suit you,” Psyche squealed as she picked up different emerald accessories and tried them on y/n.

Meanwhile Eros who just walked into the room spoke, “ Psyche, y/n is a business partner not a doll please let go of her, she has work to get done,”

Psyche’s face flushed red as she bowed over and over apologizing, y/n just faked a laugh and let the girl know that it was fine and she would love to spend time with Psyche sometime. Oh such lies. 

Eros had taken y/n to his office locking the door behind them,

Letting her in on his plan to kill Psyche, and explaining other plans in detail to his new assistant.

“No one else in the palace knows of this, please refrain from telling anyone,” Eros explained

“Get closer to Psyche and when she trusts you, destroy it. Kill her… doy you understand?” Eros inquired

“Yes, my lord,” Y/n bowed

Eros inched closer towards her gently placing his fingers under her chin and making her meet his gaze.

“Your beauty truly is something else,” He said inching closer

Y/n simply just leaned into the kiss and went with it, it would be better for her plan if she seduced Eros. One kiss led to another, and that led to a full makeout session which was originally supposed to be taken to the bed; however they were interrupted by a knock on the door. Y/n quickly wiped the drool of Eros’s mouth with her sleeve, only making him crave her touch more as she wiped her own mouth with the other sleeve. By the time y/n was done it had looked like nothing happened at all, instead the papers that were scattered around made it seem like they were a part of a meeting. Eros lightly cursed about not being able to continue and unlocked the door.

“I’ll go speak to lady Psyche for the time being,” y/n smiled at Eros, making him weak in the knees.

Some merchants had wanted to discuss business with Eros, so he had taken a seat but all he could think about was how he wanted to be with y/n right now.

Meanwhile y/n had left to go talk to Psyche, she quickly slipped a vial of scorpion poison into her drink as she went off to find the lady. She finally found Psyche conversing with some maids. How pathetic. She walked towards the woman forcing a smile and handed her the drink

“Eros asked the cook to specially make it for you,” Y/n smiled as Psyche's face started to tint slightly pink.

‘ She must be in love with him, stupid girl,’ y/n thought. 

Psyche thanked y/n as she asked the woman to take a seat beside her. Psyche started happily chatting about the new romance novels collection that she had been gifted from a friend and then about her favorite sweets. Something about Psyche was always so cheerful and positive. Y/n forced a smile while Psyche told the others about meeting a cute bunny the other day, just as she took a sip from her drink she started to cough up blood and y/n faked being terrified. She quickly performed all the procedures needed in order to save someone from poison, gaining everyone's and most importantly Psyche's trust in the process.

Now to simply destroy everything, starting with Psyche.

𝐼𝓉𝓈 𝒽𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓈𝓉𝓁𝓎 𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎 𝓇𝓊𝓈𝒽𝑒𝒹, 𝓈𝑜 𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒾𝓈 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝑜𝓇 𝓃𝑜𝓉, 𝒾𝒻 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈𝓃'𝓉, 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓁 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓇𝑒𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝒶𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝓇𝓎 𝓉𝑜 𝓌𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒾𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃!! 𝐼 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒾𝓈𝒽𝑒𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝟦𝟢 𝓂𝒾𝓃𝓊𝓉𝑒𝓈.

#your throne #I want to be you for a day #Medea Solon #psyche callista #Eros your throne #Eros your throne x reader #manipulative reader #manwaha x reader #ask

[gettinshiggywithit]

!Swan dive!

Scenario:- deku makes a life changing decision;kacchan sees it all

Characters:- katsuki Bakugou ,izuku midoriya

Pairing:- kinda Bakudeku

tw :- character death

Enjoy~

Izuku was tired

He was tired of the bullying

He was tired of the ridicule

And most importantly,

He was tired of bakugou.

Everyday was complete agony

All because his precious kacchan had picked him to be the target of his insults.

Why did it have to be him??just because he was quirkless????

Why couldnt he just be born with a quirk

Why must HE suffer alone

Izuku was tired

And that’s why he wasnt scared

Its why he didn’t hesitate.

“Take a swan dive off the building ,then maybe youll be born with a quirk in your next life.”

The words rang fresh in his mind as he stood on the edge of the school’s roof.

The wind blew his green mess of hair back and out of his face

And for a second he thought even nature wanted him to see his death

His mind raced,trying to come up with reasons not to.

What about his mother?

“No she abandoned me.she gave up on me when she was my last hope... shell be fine”he told himself

What about ALLMIGHT he’d never approve of this!hed want me to survive!

“Well too bad ‘cos where even is he??hes nothing but a grinninf idiot who uses force to achieve his goals.hes nothing!”

Izuku was crying now,screaming out the answers to his internal questions

What about...what about kacchan?

It was a last ditch attempt but something was better than nothing?

He scoffed

Why in the ever living FUCK did his brain make him think of kacchan????? The boy who had caused him all his pain,whod put him in this position

It was at this moment that izuku made up his mind.

He wipped away his tears with the sleeve of his shirt and smiled

“Fuck him”

And with that he let himself fall

He didnt feel fear or panic

Just calm

And as the air rushed past his face he closed his eyes feelin at peace for what felt like the first time in forever.

It was a pity it couldn’t last long......

Meanwhile katsuki bakugou was exiting his alma mater.

He had his backpack slung over one shoulder and there was an itch in the back of his neck

Thats when he started hearing it

The angry rage-filled screaming

He looked around and then when he heard it again he looked up

And his already-pale face whitened further

It was...DEKU and he was screaming from the school roof

Katsuki suddenly remembered the words he’d said to the other boy just that day and guilt and dread gathered in the pit of his stomach

He tried to shout to izuku,tellin him not to be stupid, to come down

His eyes began to fog up as each of his attempts failed and before he could think of anything else to do,anyone else to call

Deku jumped

Katsuki lunged forward in a last attempt to save his...friend

But before he could even move a muscle

Deku lay on the ground,bloodied and broken...

And katsuki fell to his knees and cried

Hed never cried

Not once and never in public

But

This was different

This was HIS fault

“DEKU WAKE UP! WAKE UP YOU FUCKIN PIECE OF SHIT COME ON WAKE UPPPPP”

And when izuku didnt move

When he didnt make a sound

Katsuki gave up

Hed never given up NEVER

But

He just couldnt...

He lay his head on the broken boy’s chest and said his last words to him

“Im sorry...i-i need you deku”

And when still no answer came he died a little inside too.

please dont repost my work here as your own on any platform all rights belong to me except that of the characters used,their right belong to their respective owners.but these stories? mine.

feedback,likes,reblogs and comments are so very appreciated tbh :’)i hope you enjoyed and ill catch ya next time!

Comments & Reblogs w/ tags >>>>>>>>>>>likes please

#bnha #bnha imagines #bakudeku #angst #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #kirishima eijirou #bakugou katsuki x midoriya izuku #bnha angst #bakudeku angst #bakudeku drabbles #bnha fanfictions #bnha headcanon #bnha bakudeku #bakugou angst #midoriya angst #mha angst #📚jaya’s tales #bkdk angst

[tomago]

i love you so, natsume sakasaki

sypnosis。the world itself seemed to be against both of you, but no matter where you hide, time will always condemn you; it is this world's greatest foe.

cw , angst , death

shuffle x scribble request — ( OKAY THIS IS A LONG ONE bear with me. could i request a natsume x reader angst. maybe a magic au, and reader is watching natsume do his magic stuff. then something goes wrong with his spells and in turn he accidentally puts a deadly curse on the reader, maybe one that drastically shortens their lifespan. BUT, reader doesn’t know what happened. natsume’s like “no worries, nothing big just a little error” and then he goes off searching for something to help reverse the curse and every day he just returns with nothing and watches reader become worse. and then, DUN DUN DUN he returns home to reader succumbing to the final effects of the curse, basically dying. add in some heart wrenching last goodbye type stuff. and then natsume’s guilt after their death. im so sorry this is so long LMAO 😭 )

note ; hiii anon !!!!!!!! I ENJOYED WRITING THIS SOOOSOO SO MUCH. IM SO IN LOVE. YOU ARE SO BIG BRAINED. JUST. chefs kiss i hope this quenches your thirst— ♪

in a world where fear and trepidation runs amidst the airs that the anemoi blew, the grotesque world as it was had always been ruthless and callous to either human or wizard. even treading across a country to another could be perilous; but that may be why it was incredible. the horrors and innocence alike, the world did not treat you differently.

you've always been fascinated by wondrous things, marveling at any phenomenal miracles. you’re covetous of the world and its wonders; not in the bad way, but in the way which exiled you from both human and wizard. your admiration runs deep, and leads you to meeting a talented wizard, sakasaki natsume.

glistening bottles filled with peculiarly-colored liquid and insects that you've ever seen before lined atop shelves inside his quarters, each and every one yelled 'do not touch' in one look — feathered creatures that suspend time in their rustling wings flew over your head; an indication that his refuge was no place for a human.

and here he was, welcoming you yet again above droplets of still resin that contained stone and bone alike — eroded by time to simply memories of what once was.

"curious, isn't it,", his voice echoes from wall to wall through the incandescent rays of sun that peaks through cracks and fissures of his workplace; and with the slightest flick of the wrist, a spell uttered beneath his skin — cold turned into warmth, and feathers began to descend.

a delightful spectacle was on display for only you, your hand light above his gloved own; your eyes wide filled with awe for his effortless feat, and his eyes not once blinked away from you.

how curious, truly, how you fail to notice a ticking bomb even inside you.

gods, — even if silly myths like gods were true, must have a reason to separate man and wizard. even if his heart breaks to part with you, even if your desire to learn more about natsume still is strong, the inevitable truth that the world has was unrelenting.

no matter how much of a frightening wizard natsume was, there was only much he could do with magic. even if it meant for you to live a normal life, even if it meant you'd be cured and forget all about him, he'd give up all of his tricks in exchange for you to survive.

with every moment you spent with him, your life thins, until it was all but a brittle thread. your body will slowly turn into stone, and you will crumble. but more importantly, natsume will live to see it.

how cruel, really, aren't wizards supposed to be the ones tormenting humans? but why do you put him through all of this suffering? letting yourself slowly be poisoned by natsume's apple, and even licking the poison from his fingertips — was this your plan? to turn into stone with his hands and crush him with his own guilt for being too selfish to have you even if it meant losing you?

but seeing your expression so innocent, not worrying about a single thing — you will never be lovelier than now, and he will never be here again. it tugs on his heart tightly, perhaps, he may be able to steal time from fate just a little longer.

this will be my last confession, i love you, i love you, and i love you.

to who does he whisper these words to, if not your peaceful body that lied on top of the wild unruly fields that you and he once danced in? your skin was cold, it shined; and pieces of you fell into his palms.

natsume shook, his tears uncontrollable; this was it. you had turned into stone.

and upon the banks of lethe, his tears fell; how badly must our story end, and decided, no: against his will he drinks the river's cold waters — and forgets everything.

#natsume sakasaki #sakasaki natsume #enstars #gn reader #requested #scribble x festival #magic au #fantasy au

[thesherrinfordfacility]

A lot of young queers on social media are very privileged. They grew up in progressive society. Their parents were accepting, their immediate social circle was accepting, every big company they see has rainbow flags. It was probably even been seen a cool to be queer growing up. And they'll hear about some anti gay law being passed 5 states away and consider themselves oppressed because of it.

That sort of queer person is going to have zero empathy for A. I know, because they have zero empathy for real life queer people who suffer with internalised homophobia.

🚨cw: queerphobic language. a mature comm label is on. please look after yourselves and skip this if this could be upsetting for you 🚨

cut because length:

hello anon. to be completely frank, i would urge you in the future to be looking at your phrasing and tone before you click that send button, because this not at all what i find acceptable to be in my ask box.

no, not everyone grows up being readily accepted, validated, and seen for exactly who they are and/or who they want to be. and that must be so difficult; if this is something you have had to survive through, i am truly sorry that you have had to be put in that position. I couldn't even imagine that experience.

but in my eyes, just because others may grow up in an environment that to the outside may seem more inclusive, diverse, or supportive, does not erase their experiences, struggles, or concerns. i appreciate that there can be dickheads in any community that are reductive to each other, invalidate and be cruel to each other, and this is largely unavoidable - but i don't think you need to be one of them.

i will add to this once again that i am not queer, and i realise that i am not qualified to speak on this. however, to have erased this from my asks without even addressing it, and avoiding challenging it, i think is equally as damaging. unfortunately, i find the rhetoric such as that you have put in front of me needs to be challenged.

isn't the whole point of fighting for queer rights to be able to give the current generation, and those that follow, the freedom and security to be exactly as they want to be, without fear of persecution, or discrimination? in fact i would hazard that is the entire point of this; creating a safer world than the one we have now. that means challenging laws, encouraging queer education in the workplace and schools, and normalising just being yourself in general society.

so with the utmost politeness i can possibly summon, please do not return to my askbox again. i appreciate you have the right to have your opinion, but i simply ask that you keep it away from me and my followers.

tbh, im not quite sure what you saw on my blog that possibly made you think that your ask would be welcome, but if anyone else spots why i might have invited it at any point, please tell me and i will rectify it immediately.

#cw: queerphobic language #not even deigning to give this any other tags than these two.