#it didn’t get review-bombed like the first captain marvel

[traceofexistence]

anyway first kill getting cancelled, is another show in the long list of shows featuring 1. women in the leading roles 2.black/poc people in leading roles 3. lesbians in leading roles, that gets mistreated and then cancelled even though there is a passionate audience supporting it.

the pattern is known and it’s there since 2016 after gamer gate happened and all the fragile cis-het white conservative bigoted assholes took over the youtube sphere as the so called reactionaries. US elections at the time electing the orange clown didn’t help to the slightest as all those bigoted asshole came out of their holes.

so the pattern in media has been like this:

- show announced with any of the 3 parameters mentioned above or all three together(first kill being all three)

- reactionaries blow a gasket, that these shows are woke and liberal propaganda, and diversity hiring, and all that shit, and make million of videos of how these shows suck ass, and should be cancelled and “go woke go broke” bullshit

- even before the show releases, it gets review bombed with 1 star reviews in imdb and rotten tomatoes etc, and they call the show trash, and a waste of money and in need of cancellation, without really pointing out what was really wrong. it’s always something vague like “the acting was so bad” or “the writing is so bad”  “worst show in the history of tv/cinema” “the fighting scenes are trash, how can SHE throw a man 2 times her size” “that wasn’t like the book/comics/original show/that other show” “gender bent” “race bent” “unrealistic”

(yep it’s always the same rhetoric don’t be surprised)

- show releases, makes the numbers (captain marvel and her billions), the actual audience of the show loves it, makes noise in social media, makes fanart, but hardly ever reviews the show in those sites.

- reactionaries lie through their mouths about ratings, and how the show is a flop, and wahmen, and race bent, and unrealistic, and racist against white men, and sexist against white men, and heterophobic against white men, and woke trash, catering to minorities 1% of the population, go review bomb even more with one stars, flood the socials with hate, and go up the fans and pick fights, and call us stupid/delusional/without taste.

- the reactionary videos of course manipulate the actual episodes of the shows, and call for inconsistencies (aka the so called bad writing they  yell about all the time) when they knowingly cut the parts that would show they were no inconsistencies to travel their non existent points home and make the big $$$ from angry little white boys who think that women existing in media is a crime against them.

- fandom telling reactionaries that the show is not for them so don’t watch.

- reactionaries get angry, without us you wouldn’t have a show, you need views yet you tell us not to watch, get cancelled.

- because the reactionaries are louder and have way more influence, they inform the opinion of viewers who would otherwise watch the show but instead they saw a review on you tube and didn’t watch. (on that front the vast majority of those watching reactionary videos of shows they don’t actually watch the shows but still their entitled fragile asses go and review bomb) 

- and then there are the high ups of networks, looking at all the negativity and think the shows are not doing well, and those high ups who are in their vast majority cis het white men, who are also conservative bigoted assholes themselves, tell their counterparts that they were right all along that having diversity in shows doesn’t sell, and they go on and axe all those shows.

aka there is no way to win this battle unless we win against reactionaries, unless we take action ourselves and go review shows we love.

and if you think american politics have nothing to do with all that, you are very much kidding yourselves at this point. the overwhelming majority of youtube reactionaries are far right, and they make money out of the stupidity and fragility of other far rights.

First Kill had everything we liked, had diversity, had a really nice story, beautiful leading parts, not man gaze, no stereotypes

a cast and crew that gave a great filming experience to all the actors. an amazing show runner who has proven time and time again that she cares.

all that sadly was the perfect target for reactionary bullshit. the show was review bombed after all.  

#first kill #the cancellation is disappointing but not surprising #there is a queer black woman in a leading part #so his penis fell off #quite literally

[foureyedfreezy]

If you like Chris Pratt and want to defend him, that’s your decision. But friendly reminder:

Brie Larson was boycotted, had her movie Captain Marvel review-bombed, had thousands of hate Youtube videos made about her, had death and rape threats, and been compared to Hilter, for almost 2 years for her opinions of diversity.

Natalie Portman was blamed for Thor 2 flopping and attacked for playing the next Thor in Love and Thunder. 

Elizabeth Olsen was bullied out of Instagram for not speaking about Chadwick Boseman’s death soon enough. 

Don Cheadle is hated for his liberal opinions. And he, Idris Elba, Zendaya Coleman, Tessa Thompson, Anthony Mackie and the cast of Black Panther had racist hate for playing black superheroes.

Comcisgaters and “anti-woke” people rioted against the idea of an Ironheart Disney Plus show to a point they made a rumor that black people harassed Lexi Rabe believing she would be MCU’s Ironheart when it was really about white people bothering her for signing autographs. And plan to attack whatever child actor who will play Riri Williams.

John Boyega, though not Marvel, has been getting death threats for playing the first black lead in Star Wars and accused of getting in between the Reylo ship, accused of being sexist by white women for making a sex joke about Rey, and called out for Disney’s racism.

Chris Pratt getting defended over a Twitter joke but the people I’ve listed above didn’t get as much of the help from big white male stars when they were harassed for real.   

#racism #misogyny #chris pratt #marvel #marvel fandom

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #244: "AND THE ROCKET'S RED GLARE!"

June, 1984

The Wraiths walk among us!

Actually, the Dire Wraiths would be a good answer for what the imposters in Among Us are. They're imposters, they can shapeshift, and they have deadly tongues.

I think I've cracked this case wide open.

Anyway, we go straight from Secret Wars into another event, although this is a crossover called Wraith War and mostly a story arc in the ROM book but with tie-ins to Avengers, X-Men, and Fantastic Four. In fairness, we were told the Avengers would be getting involved with the Dire Wraiths before Secret Wars went on sale.

That's the life of a superhero. One day, getting raptured to a toy commercial and the next, fighting alien shapeshifters who aren't Skrulls or Space Phantoms.

Last time: half the Avengers were involved in the Secret Wars, the other Avengers hung around and had small adventures. Then the first half of the Avengers returned. And Wasp quit as chairperson so Vision could take over with his big plans like establishing a second Avengers team.

This time: a nice boat.

The nice boat is chilling on the Banana River outside the John F. Kennedy Space Center when a ball of light swoops down on it.

But with Captain Marvel on the Avengers, sometimes a ball of light is her and not the Beyonder bodyjacking people.

Monica returns from patrol to report no suspicious activity at the space center and also to compliment this sweet boat.

Remember how she was in the market for a boat as part of whatever new job she’s cooking up for when she’s not Avengersing.

Well, this is Wasp’s yacht and it’s real nice.

Vision pops up through the deck to tell the two to join everyone else below for a strategy sesh.

It’s kind of a casual strategy session. Half the Avengers are dressed down.

Wasp is in a bathing suit with a neckerchief around her neck. Wanda took off the body stocking part of her costume so looks like she’s wearing a swimsuit despite the boots. And Starfox decides when in Rome and takes his shirt off.

Wasp isn’t even chairperson anymore and she’s still telling some men to undress and this time its Steve Rogers. She only gets him to take off the civilian clothes that he’s wearing above his costume though.

And only as a concession to the heat. They’re in FLORIDA and he’s dressed in layers. I live in Florida and sometimes one layer is too many layers.

Also, Steve America muses on how they were only back from Secret Wars a few hours when Wasp stepped down as chairperson in favor of Vision but he describes Secret Wars as “our confrontation with that... that Beyonder” which is technically accurate but not really how I would describe Secret Wars.

But that’s the hazard of writing about something in the past that hasn’t come out yet. Can’t really have Steve say “that confrontation with the most recent time Doom swallowed an energy field bigger than his head” because that would spoil the game and also maybe that plot point didn’t exist yet. Although the seeds are there from the start.

I would have just had Steve say “back from that Secret War TM” or “back from being kidnapped by the Beyonder.” Go with what’s clear and obvious from issue 1.

New Chairman The Vision summarizes the plot.

New Chairman The Vision: “All right, Avengers... just as a review, we’ll be meeting at the cape with General Bridges within the hour to discuss a number of supposed accidents... Accidents which Washington suspects may be sabotage caused by alien creatures known as Dire Wraiths. The government has managed to suppress information of most wraith activities -- but the space center is too much in the public eye. Eventually, word will leak out. We must do something!”

Captain America: “You’re right on that count, Vision! If an alien life-form attacked the space-center, there could be worldwide panic!”

And as soon as he says this, there’s an explosion on the test-pad.

Talk about timing!

The Avengers leap immediately into action!

Wasp just heads into action in her swimsuit because its not the first time she’s had an adventure in her swimsuit. Her powers are entirely internalized by this point. But its impressive for Wanda because she puts the bodysuit part of her outfit back on without seemingly taking off the leotard part.

Chaos magic? Chaos magic.

Also, they leave Wanda to anchor the yacht and then follow in a skiff so its not like she needed to get dressed magically between panels. She just decided to.

When the Avengers arrive there’s a massive cloud of smoke covering the launchpad and they spot some men dashing into the smoke instead of away from it.

Captain Marvel returns from scouting and mentions that the damage is confined to the test-pad gantries and that there’s not all that much damage.

But then there’s a loud KROOM second explosion which takes down the main supports. The rocket booster on the test-pad starts tipping over so Starfox, Captain Marvel, and Vision rush to try to stop it.

One of the attackers, the Rocketeers, says a few more mini missiles will take the launch-pad out of commission but exposition isn’t a free action and he gets WHUNK’d by Captain America’s mighty shield.

And if that weren’t enough to make him yield, Wasp shoots him in the nipple.

Wasp: “Let’s have no complaints out of you! I can make my Wasp-stings a lot nastier than that!”

Yeah, that guy is lucky she didn’t use one of her patented ‘can blow up a small house’ Wasp-stings. His nipple would never have been the same.

Vision and Starfox catch the rocket booster before it smashes into the ground but Captain Marvel zips around it and spots major fuel leaks.

Since it’s going to explode even if they gently set it down, the two huck it into the Atlantic.

Then the three start lifting rubble and rescuing those injured from any of the mini-missile explosions.

Over at Cap(tain America) and Wasp, they’ve beaten up all the Rocketeers but one. Good job you two! By some accounts the two least powerful among the Avengers present and yet you’ve kicked some ass.

The Last Rocketeer: “You may have stopped my buddies, but you won’t stop me!”

Wasp: “Oh, brother! If you only knew how many times we’ve heard those words -- !”

Captain America: “Don’t embarrass the man, Wasp! He’s in enough trouble as it is!”

Wow, if its not enough that they’ve beaten up all his friends and are about to beat him up, they just burned him so bad that I don’t know if he’ll survive.

The guy throws a lawn dart bomb at Cap and the Wasp. Cap tells Wasp to get behind his shield but the bomblet sharply veers up with a ninety degree turn.

Wow, how improbable!

If you guessed that Wanda showed up after parking the yacht, you guessed right.

And then Wasp shoots the Last Rocketeer in the eyes. His goggles did nothing.

Even though the Rocketeers were wrapped up pretty easily, Vision suggests that they had help since they knew exactly when and where to strike.

But a Dire Wraith shaped silhouette watching this fight from afar reflects that the Avengers are skilled and decides to unleash THE MISTS OF THE DARK NEBULA.

Which is a thick fog. But wait! There’s more! The fog is like a mind-numbing gas and makes the Avengers slow to respond, even Vision who only breathes out of social obligation. And it rouses the Rocketeers who escape into the fog.

Vision follows after them, less affected than the others, but he gets bowled over by the Rocketeers taking off with their rocket packs which presumably given them their names.

As soon as the Rocketeers escape, the fog conveniently disperses.

The Avengers go around making sure they’re all alright but when Cap(tain America) asks Vision, he claims that he is a lot more resilient than “an organic man” and tells Cap not to waste concern on him when there are injured people to be helped.

Wasp, in her thoughts: “Sounds like the only thing wounded was his pride!”

While the Avengers carry injured people to arrived ambulances, Vision castigates himself for the failure.

Vision: “We failed! My first official battle as Avengers leader, and the enemy got away! I suppose I should find solace in the knowledge that the sabotage was cut short and lives were saved... but I cannot!”

“I must not allow myself to be satisfied by anything less than total victory... Not if my long-range plans are to succeed! The Avengers must ferret out the power behind the Rocketeers and bring it down! The trust of the world could depend on it!”

That’s a completely non-ominous thing to think, Vizh.

Also, maybe you could help?

Meanwhile, over at Los Angeles International Airport, Hawkeye and Mockingbird arrive traveling as a perfectly normal couple. Hawkeye wanted to bring his arrows on as carry-on but yeah. Hard to explain that to the TSA.

... Wait, did the Avengers not have a spare Quinjet to send Hawkeye in?

Anyway, Bill Foster meets them at the airport. He’s local to LA and has been checking out some real estate leads for the West Coast Avengers base.

WEST COAST AVENGERS!

It continues to be approaching.

Are we going to get Bill Foster on the team? We haven’t seen him in Avengers for what feels like ever.

But enough of West Coast Avengers, there’s more Dire Wraiths plot to do.

Back at the Cape of Canaveral, General Bridges introduces the Avengers to the very high-strung Dr. Woodrow Cather, the highest ranking civilian scientist.

Cather flips out on seeing the Avengers and asks why they’re here. I guess nobody debrief him on all the explosions.

General Bridges has a slideshow for just this instance and activates a projector to show everyone a Dire Wraith.

The ROM Space Knight and Dire Wraiths plot has been going on for about fifty issues in ROM’s own book by this point so there’s some amount of exposition that just shotgunned in one page.

The Dire Wraiths are an offshoot of the Skrulls, apparently. Except instead of just shapeshifting they have a more predatory method of camouflage. They attack a victim with a drill-like tongue, eat their brains, and assume their forms while the original person is reduced to ashes.

At least, that’s how female Dire Wraiths work.

The Dire Wraiths are like the Badoon in having some truly wild sexual dimorphism and a high degree of hostility between the sexes. The female Dire Wraiths prefer sorcery and the males SCIENCE. Except there was a war of the sexes over differences in their plans for conquering Earth and the women Wraiths won and became the dominant Wraiths.

The Rocketeers that attacked the launchpad today are similar to a group of male SCIENCE Wraiths who also called themselves Rocketeers and attacked Clairton, West Virginia.

So Vision suspects that a group of male Wraiths survived the war of the sexes and are up to Something.

General Bridges isn’t really concerned with the nuances of who and how people are attacking the launch site. He just wants it all to stop.

Dr. Cather is leading the ion-drive project and its already in trouble because most funds have been diverted to the space shuttle program.

General Bridges doesn’t think the ion drive is a target, OR worth attacking (ouch), because none of the sabotage has struck it yet. Bridges thinks the Space Shuttle should get priority attention and decides he’ll call a full battalion to help the Avengers guard it.

Vision disagrees.

He pulls rank and forbids calling in any backup.

Captain America: “You’ll have to excuse us, gentlemen! Our chairman... has plans of his own!”

I BET HE DOES!

Meanwhile, continuing the Quicksilver subplot, it’s Quicksilver.

He Lockjaws down to Transia, Earth to go recruit Bova to be nursemaid for his baby but to his startlement he finds that her cabin has been destroyed.

Big mystery for Quicksilver but followers of this going-slightly-above-and-beyond liveblog will know that Magneto trashed it while interrogating Bova for information about his children.

Wanda and Pietro already rejected Magneto as their dad for being a jerk plus the jerky way he’s treated them. I imagine learning he terrorized a poor cow woman won’t soften their hearts to him.

Anyway, back to the Dire Wraiths plot.

The Rocketeer Dire Wraiths are sitting around and complaining about how the Avengers kicked their butts and they didn’t know humans could be so strong. But what they’re really concerned about is the Dark Nebula Mist.

That’s clearly the sign of the Dire Wraith sisterhood but why would they help the science Wraiths if not some weird mind game to flush them out.

One of the Rocketeers declares that the sisterhood’s intervention gives them a chance to complete their work. Sure, overt sabotage will be hard with the Avengers hanging around like they don’t have anything better to do. And sure, they’ll set up detection equipment. But the Avengers won’t suspect that the Rocketeers will have jamming watches that’ll let them avoid detection.

That’s why Science Wraithing is so rad.

The next morning, the Avengers are spread out throughout the Space Center.

Captain Marvel is standing sentry on top of the vehicle assembly building. Starfox is at launch complex 39A thinking patronizing thoughts about the Space Shuttle.

Starfox: “They call this a space ship? Charming.”

And Wasp watches over the ion-drive rocket.

Meanwhile, Vision, Captain America, and Scarlet Witch are in the security command post watching the cameras with the special detection systems.

If I remember Linkara’s Romtrospective, the special detection systems are probably based on Rom’s Analyzer, which he let SHIELD examine.

Anyway, Scarlet Witch switches to a random monitor to demonstrate that so far so good, pointing at monitor three and its entirely unsuspicious group of technicians.

Vision: “No problem?!? There’s a very big problem!! Can’t you see?!”

Turns out that Vision has better vision, hah, than a human. And with his special eyes he sees that those four technicians are NOT WHAT THEY SEEM.

He immediately grabs the microphone to the PA and announces DANGEROUS INTRUDERS and for everyone to evacuate the area immediately.

The four intruders make a mad dash to the ion-drive ship but Starfox does them a drive by punching.

Starfox: “Good morning, gentlemen! Since you aren’t evacuating the premises, might I assume that you’re our intruders? Hmmm?”

I’ll reveal a cursed secret. If it weren’t for Starfox’s special pleasure beam powers, I wouldn’t have a problem with him. He can be pretty fun sometimes.

Captain Marvel also zips over in light form and then re-assumes her meat form.

One of the Dire Wraiths: “Strike while she is helpless in her corporeal form!”

Captain Marvel: “Helpless?”

Never assume Captain Monica Marvel is helpless just because she’s made of meat. She was a boat cop, dammit.

Its a well known fact that all boat cops that get superpowers and join the Avengers, know how to flip a jerk.

Anyway, Dr. Woodrow Cather, the highest ranking civilian scientist, also runs towards the ion-drive rocket despite the evacuation order.

Dr. Woodrow Cather, the highest ranking civilian scientist: No need to worry soldier! I won’t be long at all... Once I’ve cut my ship off from ground control! I’m glad I returned to the test bunker last night. Otherwise, I might have been found like that the others! Their sabotage missions brought them to a bad end, just as I’d hoped! Now, their capture should be all the diversion I need -- to get away scot free!

Gasp! Dr. Woodrow Cather, the guy who was alarmed to see the Avengers involved is one of the Dire Wraiths and he’s dicking over his alien invader associates!

Is there no honor among alien invaders?

Scarlet Witch and Cap(tain America) arrive in Jeep to where Starfox and Cap(tain Marvel) are kicking the Dire Wraith ass. Scarlet Witch uses her do-anything powers to force the Dire Wraiths to assume their natural lumpy orange forms.

But then Dr. Woodrow Cather blasts off in the ion-drive rocket, luckily managing not to either blind nor burn to death anyone on the ground.

Captain Marvel zips after the rocket because speed of rocket is still way slower than the speed of light.

God, I love Monica’s powers.

The Dire Wraiths start bemoaning how they’ve been abandoned and betrayed but worse than that DOOOOOOOMED.

Cap(tain America) is like ‘come again?’

The Dire Wraiths explain that the ion-drive is actually a secret star-drive, that they cobbled together using whatever ‘backward technology’ they could get and sometimes just steal from other projects (I guess thats what the sabotage was? Covering the thefts?). But uh the red glow from the not-ion-drive exhaust is a bad sign.

It means that the engine is unstable and could explode like an anti-matter bomb at any time.

And to complete the hat trick of ‘rocket stolen’ and ‘rocket gonna explode and destroy a chunk of Earth’, Wasp was watching the rocket and is now trapped inside the command module, squashed against the bulkhead from the acceleration.

THE WORLD IS IN DANGER BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, THE WASP IS!

DAMN YOU DR. WOODROW CATHER, IF THATS YOUR REAL NAME!

Follow @essential-avengers​ because we like Wasp here. Wasp should be in more stuff in modern comics. Like and reblog as well but only if you think that the post is likeable and slash or rebloggable.

#Avengers #Dire Wraiths #the Vision #Scarlet Witch #Captain America #Captain Marvel #Monica Rambeau #Starfox #the Wasp #i miss she hulk #essential avengers #essential marvel liveblogging #the avengers are doing pretty well this issue #they got to chill out on a yacht and were pretty effective at dealing with the Wraiths #but still another issue to go

[mst3kproject]

Exo-Man

Failed series pilots were very much part of MST3K’s stock in trade.  We’ve sat through San Francisco International, Stranded in Space, Code Name: Diamond Head and I’m sure there were others.  I generally recall all of those movies being kind of dull and lacking in personality, and I can’t imagine this 70’s superhero mess being much better.  I don’t think anybody in Exo-Man was ever on MST3K but Jose Ferrer (the first Latino actor to win an academy award, for 1950’s Cyrano de Bergerac) was once in a movie called Zoltan, Hound of Dracula, which I am deeply remiss in not having seen yet.  You may also recognize Harry Morgan, who was Colonel Potter on M*A*S*H.

Dr. Nick Conrad is a wacky physics professor of the type nobody has ever encountered in real life.  He’s somehow both smart enough to invent anti-gravity and memory plastic, and stupid enough to chase after a fleeing would-be bank robber.  The latter stunt, set to wakka-chicka Mitchell music, makes Nick the target of a mafia assassin, who kills his lab assistant and leaves Nick himself paralyzed from the waist down.  He wallows in self-pity for a while, but then rediscovers his passion for invention and builds himself a suit of armor that will allow him to walk again… and to take on the mob single-handedly.

I don’t know why they called the movie Exo-Man.  That name is never used in the dialogue.  I guess the more accurate Fiberglass Avenger just wouldn’t have sounded as cool.

The first thing you’re likely to notice from the plot summary is that Nick’s story starts off as Dr. Strange and then takes a hard left into Iron Man.  I’m pretty sure the latter at least was an intentional ripoff, with bits of the first thrown in, knowingly or not, to distance Exo-Man from Marvel’s lawyers. What’s funny is that posterity has actually made it a hat trick: the movie opens with a weirdly homoerotic jogging scene, so now he gets to be Captain America, too!

Exo-Man is a really stupid, often boring, and consistently ugly movie.  The actors are mediocre, the music bland, the effects terrible, and stuff is made to look ‘high tech’ by sticking lots of blinky lights on it.  Way too much time passes before we get to the action and when we do, we find a deep pit of disappointment.  Yet at the same time… I kind of enjoyed it.

A major part of why has got to be the incredibly dopey super-suit the main character wears, which looks less like ‘Iron Man’ and more like ‘Fiberglass Commando Cody’.  It moves really slowly and I doubt the guy in the costume can see very much.  Nick controls the bottom half of it using switches on one sleeve, which appear to have simple functions like ‘sit’, ‘walk’, and ‘jump’ (there is, of course, no ‘run,’ because nothing happens fast in this movie). He puts the thing on by lying down in what looks like a tanning bed (or maybe one of those contraptions from Avatar).  My personal favourite is the warning light labeled malfuntion.

All this is in a movie that sometimes manages to be surprisingly subtle.  We are introduced to Nick while jogging, we watch him play tennis with his girlfriend, and see him maintain this exercise regime even while he’s supposed to be under police protection.  These shots are in brilliant sunshine, and the camerawork is as active as the subjects. Post-injury, Nick never outwardly complains about his inability to participate in sports, but we now see him sitting in his wheelchair in dark surroundings, with the camera held perfectly still.  We feel that he has lost something he loved dearly, and we never need to be told it outright.

We are also introduced to Nick as somebody who is devored to furthering minorities.  His two lab assistants are an east Asian student and a Jewish one (the latter identified as such by a surname, rather than appearance), and the reason he was at the bank was to help a Latino student get a loan.  Again, the script trusts the audience to get this without having to draw attention to it through dialogue.  These minority characters are, of course, still just accessories to Nick’s story. The Jewish guy in particular is there to be fridged – its his death that leads to Nick flaunting his police protection and getting hurt.  But the effort was made to say that minority rights are important to Nick, without hitting us over the head with it.

Theme-wise, Exo-Man is about a man coming to terms with a disability.  I should preface this by saying that I am not disabled, so my perspective is necessarily biased.  If anything I say below is offensive, that is out of ignorance, and please let me know so that I may edit or delete the review and do better next time.  I was actually pretty impressed by how the script and director handled the life-changing nature of Nick’s injury… mostly.  I’ll start with the bad stuff.

The attack on Nick comes with a heaping helping of victim blaming.  As an important witness in the bank robbery, he was offered police protection.  The assassin tries to get around this by putting a bomb in his car, but one of the lab assistants borrows the car for a late-night pizza run, and gets killed in Nick’s stead.  This leads Nick to deliberately place himself in a vulnerable position, hoping to draw the killer out for capture and punishment.  In the hospital with a broken back, Nick blames the police for failing to protect him, but I’m pretty sure the movie wants us to think that this is really Nick’s own fault.  Like the tragic accident victims in Days of our Years, he has nobody to blame for his own misery, or that of his loved ones, except himself.

After that, however, the movie’s treatment of Nick’s disability improves quickly.  His girlfriend Emily leaves him, but that’s not because he’s in a wheelchair, it’s because he’s too busy wallowing in self-pity to even let her into his apartment. Later when he apologizes to her, she takes him back and they resume their happy relationship, and the fact that they can’t play tennis together anymore is not an issue.  She does not treat him as something to be pitied, she speaks to him on his eye level, and they avoid that weird trope of having the abled partner sit in the wheelchair-user’s lap.  Emily loves who Nick is, not what he can do.  His colleagues and students, likewise, treat him with respect and help him with his chair, and never make the latter feel like a burden.

By the end of the film Nick has come to terms with his disability.  The suit he’s built is not a cure for his condition: in fact the first time he wears it out, it breaks down and he needs help getting back to his high-tech armored van.  It’s a tool he has built for a purpose, and he doesn’t feel the need to wear it in non-superhero situations.  Based on what we see, he could have built a legs-only version to wear under his trousers and let him go jogging and play tennis again, but that is no longer who Nick is.  And when and whether to wear the suit is always Nick’s own choice, not something imposed on him from the outside.

Of course, it would also be really helpful in later maintaining Exo-Man’s secret identity, and I suspect the writers were thinking of that a lot more than they were of things like parents forcing questionable ‘cures’ on disabled children.  The secret identity probably would have been a big deal if the pilot had sold, but in this stand-alone story, I thought the suit worked well as a metaphor about a disabled man at peace with himself.

Exo-Man also takes a quick little peek at the morality of vigilante justice, although this comes in pretty late and clearly isn’t something they wanted to get into in any detail.  The first person Nick confronts in the suit is the assassin who actually beat him up. He says he didn’t go into this encounter with any real plan… perhaps he just wanted to scare the guy.  What ultimately happens is that the assassin climbs a drainpipe to get away from the terrifying robot man, the pipe comes off the wall, and the man falls to his death.  Nick feels this is his fault, and so the next time he takes the suit out he does so with a particular goal in mind: he wants to capture the mob boss and provide evidence of his wrongdoing to the police, not to kill anyone.

The mob boss’ name, by the way, is Kermit Haas, which is probably the least intimidating name a movie has ever given to its big bad.

Would that work?  Is evidence a guy in a robot suit left in your dumpster for you admissible in court?  Isn’t where stuff was found kind of important?  I honestly have no idea and I’m not sure how to go about finding out.  People might wonder why I want to know and I don’t think saying it’s for my blog would allay their suspicions.

At the end of Exo-Man, I was more entertained than not, but mostly on the level of laughing at the dumb-looking suit and appreciating the fine art of ripping off comic book characters.  If that’s your kind of thing then this movie ought to put the fun in malfuntion for you. If that’s not your thing, well… this is an MST3K blog.  What are you doing here?

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #exo-man #tw: abelism #70s

[lunardeity-astrid]

Legends of The Superheros (1979)

I had planned on writing this about a week after I finished the movie. Now I ,nearly three months out, finally post this review. I apologize. I lost the notes I took on the movie and refused to watch it again. That an life happened. I've only recently sorted through screencaps and parts of the review I typed. 

If you’re still interested read on!

This is a two part episode that aired on January 18 1979 and the final episode was aired January 25 1979. 

The runtime is approximately 48 minutes for both parts. (96 minutes in total)

First and foremost, I didn't feel I could equally judge this without seeing other shows from the 70s. So in short I watched a few. All I can say is this does not reach quality of other shows. It's not the greatest thing in the world but it has it's moments. Classic Adam West and Burt Ward Batman and Robin.  

Was it worth 13 USD? After seeing other shows made in 1979, no. No it is not. I mean it is a piece of DC history and if your into collecting then maybe. It isn't as bad as people made it out to be. It carries the same humor of  Adam West Batman. Some actors and actress gave it their all, others...not so much. I feel like it's  more of a kid's move than to be dissected by me, nearly 41 years later. However, thank the gods, there is a running plot. (Which I'll talk about later on.) 

Let's continue.  

The costumes. (I need a section dedicated to this for reasons you'll see.) I want to talk about the costumes that stood out the most. That were...unique.

This costume had me rolling. I mean they tried. It was so hard to take my eyes off of it. This was the first time Hawkman was put in a Live-action movie. I guess there weren't past costumes to go on. (Except for...I dunno...the comic?) I think his wings are cardboard.

I can't tell if it's the quality of the movie or just the makeup. I found the idea of enhancing his eyebrows to be a little much. Once again, that's me being picky. I just thought he looked unsettling.

But I feel like they redeemed themselves with other heroes. (Batman/Robin and the riddler stayed the same as they previously were in the tv show) 

I absolutely loved his costume and how true it was to the comics. Shazam had actually been running for about five years before this movie came out.  

Loved it. But could have done without the mask. (See how bad that quality was?)

The Plot 

It was simple but a massive let down. Personally, they could have gotten rid of the Roast session and ended the first part on a cliffhanger with the heroes in peril. The villains place a bomb that the heroes have to defuse in about forty minutes or something. Villains try to hinder the heroes from finding the bomb in the first place. 

At the end, when it gets resolved, it's just a three or four minute fight and then the heroes win as usual. The only thing that sorta stopped them was a power drain. Even then the heroes didn't see it as a problem. A lot of the movie was spent pitting the heroes against their villains. Like Hal against Sinestro.  Captain Marvel saw a therapist who was the riddler in disguise. Hawkman and Black Canary get chained up by Solomon Grundy at a gas station. Then Batman and Robin chased Weather Wizard or something I don’t remember what he was called around the lake. 

Do you get the idea?

Other points I'm too lazy to put in a category:

There was a laugh track...need I say more?

OH that's right the second part was a roast session. The heroes were roasted by Ghetto Man. (yeah I know) and their villainous counterparts. Some of it was funny but also some of the jokes went over my head.

The huntress didn't have but one line.

Green Lantern teleports. Whole mode of transportation throughout the movie

Black Canary screams words extremely loud. She doesn't have her infamous canary cry. (which disappointed me.)

Not all heroes were given equal screen time. I think certain ones were given more promotion for their comic series.

Parts of the movie were set up like a play. The beginning opens with the villains being introduced to the audience.

BATMAN DID A HIP BUMP

Sinestro had me dying.

But in Summary: I should have kept this short and not over the top.  I'll leave you with this. After what I said, it's up to you, if you want to scour the internet in search of a free version. Or if you want to buy it. I'm not suggesting either...lol. I honestly give this a two out of five stars.  It's not as horrible as critics say but there is no chance I'm watching it more than once. Technically, the two times I already did watch it.

Thanks for reading. Feel free to ask me about it if you want.  

(Also if you’ve seen this and you disagree with me, that fine. 100%. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and can like whatever they want. My opinion on this is just a fickle thing.) 

#I'm so late on this #geez like three whole months #adam west #batman #legends of the superheroes #1979 #movie review #burt ward #robin #The Riddler #old movies #Hal Jordan #Green lantern #liveaction #solomon grundy #dc #dc comics #dc universe #how many times am i going to put dc #superheros #justice league #astrid wastes her time #or does she #captain marvel #shazam #movie blunders #? #film #vintage film

[mrnerdteacher]

All 32 Memorable Scenes from Avengers: Endgame, Ranked (because to leave out even one would do this movie a disservice)

Before we begin, I wish to make three disclaimers:

Literally ALL THE SPOILERS AHEAD, so go see it first. Seriously. It’s fantastic. It’s greater than the sum of all 22 of its parts. It’s a three hour movie that doesn’t feel too long. It’s funny, heart-wrenching, thrilling, and the pay-off we all deserve. I cannot say enough good things about it. Faith restored.

Despite how critical I sound, I didn’t HATE any of these moments. Some just worked better than others.

I had to go to the bathroom three times, so if I’m missing an amazing scene, please let me know in the comments.

And now, without further ado, every moment from this epic epic, ranked from “worst” to best.

32) Hawkeye for an Eye- Clint going on a faceless-villain killing spree after his family dies is stupidly cliche

31) One too many Cap Speeches- I hope you like your films like you like your pizza: warm and cheesy.

30) Come and Get Your Concussion- Knocking out Quill to pre-steal the power stone was just kinda funny

29) Bruce Rolls a Natural 20- Convincing the Ancient One to hand over the Time Stone felt a little too easy.

28) Picnic Panic- Watching Clint lose his family was rough, but the mom dutifully serving lunch felt cringe

27) Hulk Snaps- While I enjoyed the suspense/uncertainty that follows this moment, it’s weird that a finger snap is actually required to activate the stones powers, except all the times in the movie when it’s not

26) Iron Man Snaps- For such a hugely important moment, the “I am Iron Man” line felt eye-rollingly forced

25) Time Heist is Botched when Loki AGAIN Steals the Tesseract- What a wascally wabbit. You could practically hear the Benny Hill theme in this scene

24) Nebula Shoots Herself- I feel like the “evil” Nebula went down way too easy for the sake of pacing

23) Thor Goes for the Head- Aside from a clever moment in which you think Thanos is altering reality to defend himself but it’s really the Hulk Buster breaking through the floor, this scene is underwhelming

22) My Self-Righteous Suicide- The cliffs of Vormir is a great motif, but wondering which of the two most insignificant Avengers would successfully kill themselves lacked the punch it should have had.

21) Thor Abides- it’s nice that Valkyrie gets crowned the “king” and all, but the new role feels out of character

20) Tony and the Intergalactic Facetime- Paper football is cute, and Tony’s goodbye felt appropriately emotional

19) Iron Dad- this film’s packed to the brim with father/daughter moments, but “Love You 3000” is a good one

18) Let Me Guess, He Turned into a Baby- who doesn’t love a “working out the kinks” tech montage?

17) Scott Reconnects with Cassie- Checking the wall of the dead, and finding her alive? Instant tears

16) America’s Ass- Cap fighting his past self wasn’t surreal enough to stop him from ogling his own butt. Nice.

15) Tony Invents Time Travel- It had been way too long since we had a “Tony does his homework” montage.

14) Every Time Brie Larson entered the shot like a literal shooting star- I will never get tired of her entrances, especially sporting her new do.

13) The Funeral- The Proof that Tony Stark has a Heart is also proof that we love RDJ even more than we realized

12) That 70’s Show- Giving Tony the father/son talk he always deserved/needed was touching, and Steve’s creepy Jim Halpert impersonation sets the movie up for that incredible final shot

11) Passing the Torch/Shield- Old Cap made me so happy, but passing the mantle to Sam? Even happier. Hope it made racists everywhere uncomfortable

10) Emaciated, Stir Crazy Tony DESTROYS Boy Scout Steve Upon Reunion- Were we really expecting a hug?

9) Professor Hulk Takes a Seflie with Fans at a Diner- the precise moment I knew this movie would rock

8) The Taco- I had a very lousy Monday, but still laughed on three separate occasions when I remembered this masterpiece of silent slapstick.

7) Thor Handles His Mommy Issues- you know a movie’s good when it retroactively redeems DARK WORLD.

6) Elevator Redux- Everything about this scene. The tension. The parallelism. The way Steve defeats the entire platoon with a single, sly “Hail Hydra” is both really smart writing and a nod to fans of the comics & films.

5) The Future is Female- suspend your disbelief and realize that this gorgeous, empowering team-up moment is a giant middle finger to all the dude bros who review bombed Captain Marvel. Plus, there’s a freakin’ pegasus.

4) Cap Proves He’s Worthy- the most thrilling, shocking, satisfying, and important fight in the whole film. My whole theater got chills.

3) Thor Really Lets Himself Go- Fat shaming aside, seeing Thor bicker with kids on Xbox Live and belligerently request a Blood Mary is yet another believable, endearing, & hilarious reinvention of the character. The only thing that would have made it better would have been the addition of Darryl as a third flatmate.

2)The Gang’s All Here- I never thought they could pull it off, but when the resurrected heroes, all several thousand of them, return from the dead to fight Thanos’ army, it ACTUALLY felt surprising, moving, and most importantly, earned. Spider-Man’s instant kill. Black Panther emerging from the Lion King sunrise. That look on Hope’s face. IT’S ALL SO DAMN GOOD!!!

1)The Dance- Maybe it’s because I’ve always been Team Cap, but what a perfect way to close a perfect film. I cried tears of pure joy.

#captain america #tony stark #avengers #endgame #avengers endgame #steve rogers #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #hulk #Robert Downey Jr #Chris Evans #bruce banner #Thanos #spider-man #Brie Larson #Captain Marvel

[thecomicsnexus]

Meet Captain America

CAPTAIN AMERICA COMICS #1 MARCH 1941 BY JOE SIMON AND JACK KIRBY

SYNOPSIS (FROM MARVEL DATABASE)

A short prologue outlines the young men of America joining the army and the threat of the fifth columnists, the nazi spies hidden deep within the American forces. Two fifth columnists in American uniform blow up a local munitions factory that is supplying the local army camp.

Meanwhile, in Washington, D.C., two army generals visit president Franklin Delano Roosevelt and inform him of the threat. They note how every command he makes is sent back to Germany and nothing can be kept secret, even amongst his closest aides. The president asks them what they intend to do. He recommends sending a comic hero like the human torch into the army, and brings in a man named mister Grover, the head of the federal bureau of investigation, who has a plan.

The men all change into their civilian clothes and into a car, where they are taken to an old curio shop. An old woman greets them armed with a gun. She informs them that the formula has been found and it won't disappoint them this time. A man, dressed in lab clothes greets them and ushers them into the viewing gallery of a secret lab, where a frail young man is attached to a machine, and the old woman tears off her mask revealing x-13, one of the best agents. The young man is injected with a liquid and starts to grow until he is above the normal human physique. The doctor also notes that his intelligence and strength are being increased. The doctor christens him captain america and tells him that his duty is to protect the American shores from nazi spies and saboteurs.

Suddenly, one of the army officials, secretly working for the Gestapo, pulls out a gun and shoots the doctor, professor reinstein. A second shot then obliterates the serum that gave Captain America his powers, meaning no more super soldiers can be created. He lets out a third shot, hitting Grover, before cap bursts through the glass and beats him into submission. The barely conscious spy stumbles into a large electrical device, shocking him to death. Cap, now in uniform, is told to have been taking out all of the Nazi threats, while the newspapers wonder "Who is Captain America?".

Meanwhile at an army camp the mascot James Buchanan 'Bucky' Barnes shows a private named Steve Rogers a news report of caps latest victory, saying how he'd love to meet him. That night, he walks in on Steve changing into the Captain America suit, preparing for more exploits. Having made this discovery, Steve says Bucky must keep his identity secret and he asks if he would like to be his sidekick. They suit up and together run off to stop nazi threats.

Tickets are being sold for the performance of the psychics, Sando (Von Krantz) & Omar, for only ten cents each. On stage, Sando looks into the eyes of a dwarfed Omar. Sando asks Omar what he thinks is to come and his prediction of a terrible accident at Fort Bix is projected onto a crystal ball. At that very instant Fort Bix is shaken by a terrific blast. Meanwhile, Steve and Bucky are reading about the psychics in the newspaper. Bucky thinks they are phony and the two decide to visit the theater. Yet again, the weird performance is repeated while Steve and Bucky are in the audience. This time, Omar sees Hilltown bridge collapsing. Steve and Bucky rush to prevent the disaster but they are too late. The duo returns to the theater to found out how Sando & Omar knew about the disaster. Suddenly, a woman’s shrill cry for help causes Captain America to whirl about. He follows the scream to Sando’s dressing room. A couple of gun men are holding Betsy Ross captured. Sando reveals that he is Von Krantz and has plan a chain of disasters that will destroy the morale of the United States. Betsy Ross reveals that Omar is just a poor idiotic tool. As the battle begins, Von Krantz tries to bomb the place. However, Bucky throws out the bomb through a window. The duo wins and Betsy Ross wants to thank them, but Captain America only says goodnight and leaves.

In a secluded section of town, Rathcone approaches a chessboard with chess pieces that resemble real people. He announces to his agents that Admiral Perkins is giving a lecture tonight and tonight is the night that Admiral must die. Meanwhile, Steve convinces a reluctant Bucky to attend the lecture. As the curtains part at the lecture, the audience is witness to the Admiral’s dead body. A stunned Steve and Bucky change into their costumes to chase down the killer. When Bucky prowls through the darkened alleys, he is watched by a lurking killer, Number 5. As Number 5 and Bucky begin to fight, Captain America jumps in and saves Bucky. The agent refuses to talk but Captain America convinces him too. At that moment, a bullet hits the Nazi agent. Number 5 slumps in death as Captain America wards off a deadly hail of bullets. Cap notices three men, but they can’t catch up to them. The duo decides to go back to Camp Lehigh. Rathcone continues his chess game and plans for General Ellsworth death. That same evening, Mike Duffy tells Steve and Bucky that they are on special duty at the General’s hut. However, the duo finds him dead inside the hut. The next day newspapers announce to the America public another brutal killing in the ranks of the nation’s military command. Rathcone moves onto to his next victims, Captain America and Bucky, by sending out Strangler and Herr Kameleon after them. Later back at the camp, Strangler visits Bucky and fools him into thinking he could solve the killing. That night, Bucky quietly approaches a shabby building. He walks into a trap and sees Ratchone and the chessboard. Bucky tries to run but Rathcone trips him. He waits to kill Bucky because he wants to kill Cap and Bucky at the same time. Finding a note from Bucky, Captain America finds Rathcone’s hideout. A battle begins and Rathcone pulls a gun on him. The duo beats Rathcone and his gang. Captain America calls the F.B.I to report where the criminals are at. Major Fields tells Steve later that he wishes he knew who Captain America was.

A worried Steve and Bucky drop off Major Croy at his home, who has just received a card from the Red Skull. Major Croy believes there is no such person and quickly goes into his home. While reading, the Major gets a surprise visit from the Red Skull. With his wide hypnotic eyes, the Red Skull gazes deep into the Major’s eyes and tells him to “look until you see death.” Captain America hears the news and decides he wants to handle this case without Bucky. However, it’s Bucky who accidentally discovers the Red Skull’s headquarters. While standing out on the rooftops, one of the Red Skull’s henchmen, Slug, finds Bucky. Slug brings him to the Red Skull not knowing that it’s Captain America’s partner. Cap finds the headquarters himself and a fight breaks out. In the midst of the fray the Red Skull departs through a secret exit. The duo decides to return to Camp Lehigh.

The next day, George Maxon of the Maxon Aircraft Corporation comes in person to watch his new plane take an army test. The plane catches on fire while in the air and crashes, killing the men inside. Maxon is sadden by the plane’s crash, but Steve is only concerned about the men in the plane.

Later, General Charles Manor goes home and gets a package from the Red Skull. As the General opens the package, the Red Skull appears in the room and kills him. Mildred Manor hears the struggle and with a gun in her hand rushes into the room. As the Red Skull smacks her down, he hears footsteps and like an angry tornado Captain America bursts into the room. Cap knocks the Red Skull’s mask off and it shatters. It’s revealed that it’s George Maxon and he has been using hypodermic needles to kill his victims. Another fight breaks out and Maxon rolls over this own hypodermic needle. Bucky asks why Captain America didn’t stop Maxon from rolling over. Cap says he is not talking about it and he calls the F.B.I to tell them that Maxon committed suicide. The F.B.I finds a note that Maxon was working for Hitler.

REVIEW

If you look at this comic-book without looking at the context, you may think it’s just another Golden Age comic-book. But it has one main difference to the other books of the time. Jack Kirby.

While Kirby’s style wasn’t there yet, his dynamic layouts are already a thing. His characters are trying to escape the panels, the layouts are more flexible, this isn’t a comic-strip adapted to a page anymore, this is a different animal.

The issue contains several first appearances, but the stories are not exactly entertaining (from a modern point of view). Perhaps the main issue with these stories is that America wasn’t at war yet, and it is all about combating spies. A war would broaden the adventures a lot more.

Unlike Robin, Bucky is the sidekick of an enhanced soldier. This is more similar to the Shield’s sidekick, another boy without super-powers in the company of a super-hero. The similarities are too big between both properties, but I can believe that Bucky and the Shield’s sidekicks were conceived around the same time.

As usual, Marvel stories are a bit more aggressive in terms of patriotism than the other publishers, I can imagine this was the main attraction for kids.

I give this issue a score of 9

#joe simon #jack kirby #marvel comics #comics #review #1941 #world war ii #captain america #bucky #captain america comics #golden age #red skull

[freifraufischer]

Something else we can learn from Captain Marvel's anticipated huge global debut this weekend (a domestic debut presumably flirting with $120m-$140m and a global launch between $300m and $350m) is that we can finally and safely ignore the online trolls that have hijacked the conversation for the last few years.

We saw this in 2015 when a handful of grouchy dudes complained about Mad Max: Fury Road being dominated by Charlize Theron's Furiosa, but the film still opened with $46 million and legged it to $153m domestic. We saw this later that year when a handful of trolls tricked the entire Internet into writing about an alleged campaign to boycott The Force Awakens over the presence of Daisy Ridley and John Boyega in lead roles. The film opened with $248m, legged it to $937m domestic (the biggest unadjusted grosser ever in North America) and grossed $2 billion worldwide. Yet, that campaign, where a few folks wrote some mean tweets and the entire media covered it as well as the "clap backs" that followed, taught the press a horrible lesson.

Namely, that we could take a handful of mean tweets from anonymous people and frame it into a trend story, either about the initial offense or about how celebrities or fans were responding or fighting back. Such was the case when the Alamo Drafthouse announced their intent to hold women-only screenings of Wonder Woman which naturally caused a negative online response from the sort of folks who were naturally opposed to a Wonder Woman movie in the first place. But rather than ignore them, we turned this into a national conversation, with folks actually debating the morality of what should have been a giant "Oh, neat, that sounds like fun" issue of a theater holding women-only screenings for a female-led superhero movie. Oh, and Wonder Woman then opened with $103 million and legged it to $412.5m domestic and $821m worldwide.

Okay, but what about Ghostbusters? Well, the two years between the announcement of Paul Feig's female-led Ghostbusters reboot (starring Melissa McCarthy, Leslie Jones, Kristen Wiig and Kate McKinnon) became a canary in the coal mine for Gamergate politics playing a role in more mainstream discourse, one which had adult men losing their minds online over the notion of a Ghostbusters movie featuring ladies. And the end result was that the merely okay comedy (the extended cut is ironically a lot better) earned a just okay $126 million domestic. It cost way too much ($144m), didn't play in China due to their prohibition of supernatural content and was mostly ignored overseas for a mere $229m worldwide cume. But, warts and all, Ghostbusters was still the biggest-grossing straight-up comedy of the year give-or-take Deadpool.

Okay, fine, but Star Wars: The Last Jedi took a hit due to viewer dissatisfaction right? Well, to the extent that post-debut online complaints about the movie (specifically the online criticisms related to the gender and race of its heroic cast) represented the general public (with a possible push from Russian troll bots), The Last Jedi still earned $620 million in North America and $1.335 billion worldwide. Yes, that was 1/3 less than The Force Awakens, which is about the same decrease as The Empire Strikes Back from Star Wars and Attack of the Clones from The Phantom Menace, along with (random examples) The Lost World, Batman Returns and (domestically) Fate of the Furious and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. That loathed super-flop The Last Jedi made about as much in North America as Aquaman ($333m), Mary Poppins Returns ($171m) and Bumblebee ($125m) combined.

Now we have Captain Marvel, which has been greeted with the usual wave of online hysteria both over the notion of a female-led superhero movie and the idea that Brie Larson's request that the junkets be slightly less 'a bunch of white dudes' was tantamount to white male genocide. Rotten Tomatoes had to revamp their system to prevent trolls from pushing the film's pre-release score to record lows before a single consumer (or critic) had seen the film. They tried that with Black Panther as well, to great ($700 million domestic) and unmitigated ($1.346 billion) success. I'm sure it'll get review-bombed this weekend by the same folks who pushed The Last Jedi's Rotten Tomatoes user score down to 51%.

But history shows that the online troll brigade and their YouTube videos arguing that the Oscar-winning star of Room and Short Term 12 is going to singlehandedly destroy the Marvel Cinematic Universe is going to be about as effective as they usually are. Yes, A Wrinkle in Time bombed, but not because of the trolls. Solo: A Star Wars Story bombed, but not because of the trolls. Both films, incidentally, did okay in North America ($103 million and $213m respectively) but were utterly ignored overseas. Oh, and the newest game is attempting to pit Alita: Battle Angel (allegedly a female-led action movie that isn't plotting the destruction of the male species) against Captain Marvel. Nevermind that both films are or will soon be under the Disney umbrella. You know what? I absolutely endorse the #AlitaChallenge.

I'm serious, folks. I encourage you to flood the theaters this weekend and buy tickets for Alita: Battle Angel. You clearly didn't do so in the during the $170 million-budgeted film's first month in theaters, as it has earned just $74m domestic and an okay but not big enough $360m worldwide, so you're missing out on a damn good action fantasy. I loved Alita, and my daughter really wants a sequel. So if you want to boost Alita: Battle Angel's fortunes this weekend right as Captain Marvel opens with its expected $100m-plus debut weekend and thus give a boost to a big-budget action fantasy starring a Hispanic actress and directed by a Hispanic director, I'd count that as a win/win. Or hell, you can absolutely boycott Captain Marvel this weekend and instead buy a ticket to Greta, Happy Death Day 2U, Miss Bala, What Women Want, Isn't It Romantic, or The Prodigy. Vote with your wallet and show Disney what's what!

The likely (relative) success of Captain Marvel in theaters this weekend won't stop the online troll brigade or the flurry of online abuse that is still going to be directed and women on the Internet for the crime of being a woman on the Internet. Yes, it's worse if you're a woman of color on the Internet, but I digress. But we have a chance to look at the relative success of Captain Marvel and realize that the trolls, be they actual racist and sexist schmucks, bots or just people who just enjoy spreading chaos, don't represent the general pop culture populace. We don't have to treat them as news and we sure as hell don't have to give them a seat at the debate table.

They didn't make Ghostbusters a flop and they certainly didn't stop The Force Awakens, Ocean's 8, The Last Jedi, Black Panther and Wonder Woman from being a hit any more than (all due respect) #WokeTwitter prevented Bohemian Rhapsody from topping $850 million worldwide and Green Book from winning Best Picture. None of these people will be the deciding factor as to whether Captain Marvel, which is earning mostly three-star reviews, grosses closer to Ant-Man money, Doctor Strange money or Thor: Rangorak money (or behind). After this weekend, it's time we stopped treating them as anything resembling influencers of anyone beyond themselves or those already converted to their toxic point-of-view. They will never stay silent, but we have a choice as to whether to give them a bullhorn.

#captain marvel

[the-chosen-half-of-one]

Captain Marvel Random Thoughts:

Warning! Spoilers ahead! Spoilers! Spoilers! Spoilers!

-First of all, anyone who says this movie is too political are only the people who think it is a radical political statement to have a female led superhero movie. Because it’s not! It’s a fun, hilarious sci-fi movie with a great cast and great story! There’s no politics in sight! None that should affect you! You know what movies are political? Literally almost every other superhero movie! I mean have you ever seen an X-Men film? How about Captain America? Ring a bell?

-Ok so, moving on! Let’s start, Sam Jackson, woman with amnesia with a troubled past, is this The Long Kiss Goodnight? No, this is my new BROTP, Fury and Carol, their banter is priceless, and seeing Fury’s lighter side is so fun! And his love for Goose the cat is only surpassed by my love for his love of Goose the cat.

-That Stan Lee Marvel opening!!! Way to make me tear up before the movie even begins, Marvel! 😭

-“You do know why they call it the cockpit.” That guy sounds like one of the ones who would’ve review bombed this film just cuz they’re a jackass. Lots of lampshades in this movie and I’m living for it.

-I’m also livin’ for the 90s nostalgia! Not overboard either, just the right amount! Crash lands in a Blockbuster next to a Radio Shack?? Nerf guns! Arcade games! Dial up and all! The Fonz?? It adds the perfect element of humour and authenticity and it’s great.

-Those telling her she should smile more? Sorry, she’s kind of in the middle of an ALIEN INVASION. So f—k you, but anyway the thing is she does smile, she’s not sulking, or brooding, she’s funny, she takes action, she makes her own choices, and she’s an all around great character with a great personality and past, and she loves her friends, is a good leader and just everything! She’s not just a strong female character, she’s a strong character, end of story.

-I can’t believe those Goose the Cat memes were actually right about how Fury lost his eye, that’s amazing, and Fury just like kept the cat?? Like you’re keeping an eldritch horror as a pet, sir? That’s some Welcome to Night Vale type sh*t right there. Goose and Fury, BROTP.

And then his cover for how he lost the eye XD I can neither confirm nor deny

He trusted you, Goose! He trusted you!

-Even his mother calls him Fury! If he had kids they’d call him Fury!

-I love the Skrulls so much! I think the storyline was handled very well and very uniquely and shape shifting is a tricky thing to work with but they used it so fantastically! When someone calls Fury by the name Nicholas, ooh bitch you know something’s up! But then the twist! I mean maybe I should have seen it coming, but I didn’t and the Skrulls not being the bad guys? Them having a family, depth, being in need of a home the Kree won’t let them have, my heart broke for them! The lead Skrull is one of my favourite characters and I was so worried for him, when he got shot, I was going to riot, but then they had a nice dinner together and all was good. Phew! Plus I’m a sucker for mentor betrayal, dammit Jude Law!

-The final battle! I almost shouted “Yes” in the theatre! The villain’s going on monologuing saying prove this to me and she’s like I don’t have to prove anything to you *blast* like bitch, yes!!! That’s what I always wanted! The villain is dumb, the hero is smart and doesn’t play their games, I wanted to applaud!

-The children in the MCU are killing it! Cassie, Harley, Shuri, Peter, and now Carol’s friend’s kid is a gem! She’d be all grown up now, I almost hope she’ll show up in the MCU again, maybe as a shield agent or scientist, maybe she’ll have actually made that spaceship.

-Species: Flerken: Threat level: high

-Species: Human, male: Threat Level: Low to None

That thing must be broken, oh my god I am dying! The level of humour in this is my jam!

-Fanboy dedicated young and new recruit Agent Coulson! Makes me almost miss watching AOS

-There’s so much I want to ramble about but I’m forgetting stuff and this is getting pretty long already, so in closing, this is not only a great female superhero movie, it’s a great superhero movie, period. Filled with trademark Marvel humour, great characters, awesome little details, and as always phenomenal effects and dialogue and everything a Marvel movie should have. People who hate it simply to hate it without seeing it can go hug a cactus.

-And!! Looks like she answered her page!

In all honesty, it might actually be one of my favourite Marvel movies to date.

#captain marvel spoilers #captain marvel #marvel #mcu #cm spoilers

[nettlestonenell]

How Peggy Carter Shows Up in Avengers: Endgame

...is actually a really important question to ponder, Gentle Readers. Thanks for asking.

As I recently set forth here, Peggy Carter is the central bedrock of the MCU. If you don’t like her, you don’t like it.

As such, it seems unlikely that the attention she will be given in Endgame will be limited to the infamous black and white picture Steve keeps in his old compass (which some fans believe he looks to for moral guidance. About which I stringently disagree.)

Insert your own traveling-across-realms Once Upon a Time Swanfire keychain reference here.

Just to cover all the possible bases, then; 

SCENARIO #1: Peggy used solely as image/misunderstood totem for Cap.

NOPE.

I firmly expect “actual” Peggy Carter to make an appearance in Endgame, and according to the internet at large, I am not alone.

HOW she makes that appearance, and what is made of her appearance is entirely unknown at this time, but here are the strongest possibilities. (All following scenarios involve Time Travel or universe-shifting.)

SCENARIO #2: 

Cap sent back in time to his version of a Valhalla/warrior’s paradise: right after his jet goes into the ice he manages somehow to arrive the following Saturday at the Stork Club at 8pm as she and he were talking about in his last moments on the radio.

While iconic for that time period, The Stork Club (of New York City) has always seemed a rather upscale venue for Peggy and Steve to pick. (Coincidentally, it closed its doors in 1965)

(Ultimately, you may recall Steve saying he’s going to need a raincheck on that dance.)

I don’t see it. Doing this robs those moments in The First Avenger entirely of their gravity and their far-reaching impact in the MCU. Peggy wouldn’t even have a hot moment to grieve for what she lost. What’s more, Peggy in the immediate aftermath of Steve’s disappearance hasn’t got anything to offer the plot/Cap in the way of fighting Thanos/the power of Infinity Stones. She’s just relegated to a sort of trophy/reward, without any utility in the storyline.

If Peggy Carter is used in Endgame without having something to contribute to the forward motion of the plot, IF, for example, she’s reduced to a sort of ‘Grey Havens’ for Cap, what an utter waste of everything MCU has put into her over the years. If going back to be with Peggy (pre-Marvel’s Agent Carter and ongoing developments in the MCU) is simply Cap’s “reward”, then Peggy gets reduced to nothing but a dog treat. [which, I daresay from reading enough tumblr plenty of bloggers think she is]

Just as I said in that earlier blog, narratively it’s Steve in TFA who has to “come up” to Peggy’s level, both physically 

She could snap him in two if they tried that dance, now.

(at least narratively-speaking—obviously there’s absolutely NOTHING wrong in real life with two partners not being the physical equal of one another, in fact it’s rather more standard than not) and also heroic conviction-wise; he has to be willing to step out there and join the fight (as when he left the showgirls, etc). 

Of course, even leaving the showgirls behind, Steve won’t miss out on the sight of a great pair of legs, Angie Martinelli will gladly tell you.

Ahem. It’s been awhile since Cap woke up from the ice. He’s seen and done a lot. But Peggy, in the immediate wake of his crash, well, she’s hasn’t had a chance to grow similarly.

TFA-era Peggy and Infinity War-era Cap are far from on the same footing. She’s only just had her first brush with the supernatural (Vibranium and the Tesseract, super-soldier serum). She’s still WWII-Peggy, and Cap hasn’t been WWII-Cap for awhile (remember his government’s betrayal in Winter Soldier? His own rebellion in Civil War?).

Unlikely we’ll see this noobishly terrified expression ever again.

Lots has happened since next Saturday at the Stork Club, 8pm. Let’s talk funerals. Cap has gone to Peggy’s, 

I’m not proud of showing you this.

and in the season one finale of Agent Carter, Peggy “Goodbye, My Darling” (words, btw, she never said to him in real-life) Carter takes a moment to pour Steve’s blood sample off the Brooklyn Bridge to prevent it being used for ill, and memorialize and let him go in a real way, which she had yet to be able to do.

Do you think the military held a funeral/event in memory of Steve after he was lost to the ice?

A day or two (or even a year) after the crash, she hasn’t been able to bring herself to do that.

Secondarily, as I said in that earlier blog, Peggy has to live and operate in a world without Steve IF ONLY TO BE SHOWN AS SUCCESSFUL ON HER OWN TERMS and not viewed merely as Captain America’s Girlfriend.

Having him show up ON TIME for their dance doesn’t allow her that. It also doesn’t see her co-found S.H.I.E.L.D. (for one example). Peggy would have remained Peggy unchanged, and Cap—well, Cap’s changed plenty. He doesn’t even dress the same. 

Just look at the confidence in this man’s face. This man has grown and changed since burying that plane in the ice.

If he wakes up in TFA the same year that film came out, that’s almost nine years ‘til Infinity War, and who knows how long ‘til the plot of Endgame picks up. All of WWII lasted six years. It doesn’t seem like Cap’s life since waking up has been any less of a crucible.

I absolutely understand the emotional desire fans have to see that dance and that date take place as though nothing has happened. I. Get. It. But from a story standpoint, it’s a bad idea that negates so much work and development that’s come before.

I deeply apologize for my story-based convictions on this matter.

SCENARIO #3: Parallel Peggy

Parallel universes make my brain hurt. Literally anything could happen in them. Except Steve getting time with actual Peggy.

Also, that would be something of a Whovian #10/Rose re-tread, wouldn’t it?

SCENARIO #4:

(Possibly one-way) Time Travel to Just the Sweet Spot Where Peggy Has Access to an Answer the Avengers Need

Peggy Carter’s life and work have meant a lot to the MCU (don’t get me started on the fact the franchise didn’t have Nick Fury, Coulson, Hill, and Tony Stark attend her funeral).

We know some of what she was involved in with SSR and S.H.I.E.L.D. (okay, well, likely she was involved with literally EVERYTHING). We know she had two children, a boy and girl, and a granddaughter (we don’t want to negate them, do we?[Aside: Could Steve and Peggy even have kids?]). 

Children on the right, on the left the photo is taken later (note clothing style), indicating a granddaughter.

We know she was married, though the powers that be have stopped short of ever naming her husband. 

Sorry, wrong wedding dress, wrong wedding, v.v. sad day about to happen.

Season Two of Agent Carter shows her embarking on a relationship with Daniel Sousa, 

All my love, Daniel!

but for all we know that proved a non-starter, and in a twist she wed Jack Thompson—or even Dum Dum—or some other guy we never met. We’re simply not told. No man appears in photos by her bedside in Winter Soldier, her husband is given no name in her official obit from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

In her 1953 interview we’re told that she’s married by that time, she speaks about her husband, a WWII vet. (The bedside picture with her two children shows her with a similar hairstyle to this interview)

What we’ve never been given is information about how long that married lasted. Divorce, death of a spouse? Entirely possible. If Cap’s being sent back (at least in part) to pitch woo to Peggy, I’m betting her husband will have passed on. (Truly sorry if it’s you, Daniel!)

I’m betting that in those files Cap was reviewing in The Winter Soldier, there may have been something among his research about what Peggy got up to after he was gone. 

In my memory, there’s like a whole box of this sort of thing sitting around Cap’s apartment.

And that among her work, or even among Howard’s Bad Babies, might well be technology or an item needed to help defeat Thanos or reverse the snap.

So, Cap shaves his beard (to be more recognizable to her), 

goes back not to 1940, but sometime after Peggy’s interview in 1953 

(recall the motion-capture dots on Hayley in that Instagram pic which may be used to age her, recall also the casting call for 1960s office girls). 

This gives us BOTH a Peggy who had moved on and done important work, AND a Cap who has grown and changed since being pulled from the ice.

In a scenario like this, what we are presented with (again) are Steve and Peggy as two EQUALS, the reward for each of whom, and their lifetime of service and sacrifice is each other. And a Cap returned to a world more in- line with his human life expectancy (and among which he might feel more comfortable—and in which some of his friends/the Howling Commandos might still live). Peggy would be in her 40s in the 1960s*. (Don’t even get me started on loving middle-aged awesome, reaching her sexual peak Peggy getting to be with constantly on-peak super-soldier Steve.)

I mean, check out Peggy in her late 60s: Here, hot, and still happening.

SCENARIO #4 doesn’t diminish a possible Steggy happy ending. In fact, it just deepens and burnishes it.

*Perhaps whatever takes place in the 60s also involves the long-unexplained tease of how Peggy as head and founder of S.H.I.E.L.D. remained (we assume) unaware that Hydra had long infiltrated her organization. #utterpipedreams

COMPLICATIONS:…now don’t get me started that if Cap-Now goes back, Cap-Then is still in the ice, destined to wake up, and that gets all kind of weird—sort of like Parallel Universes. 

Time Travel and the potential plurality of existence is treacherous and headache-y to contemplate.

QUESTIONS THAT PERSIST: IF Cap is able to go back in time, and there’s nothing in-story that can be gained by it other than his reunion with Peggy, doesn’t it make more sense that he’d choose to go back and reverse something terrible in history, such as prevent the US from dropping atomic bombs, saving countless (estimated around 250k) lives?

Or that he would go back and rescue Bucky from Armin Zola?

After all, he’s seen that Peggy’s life was happy. She died loved, safe, and respected as a (very) old woman in her bed. Ya can’t say that for ole Buck.

Truly, if the power of time travel is in your hands, and you choose to use it purely for selfish reasons, well, that’s about the most un-Cap thing I’ve ever heard of.

So, Gentle Readers, how do you think this thing is going to go down?

#captain america #avengers endgame #mcu #peggy carter #steve rogers #steggy #marvel's agent carter #is my marvel superhero #cap won't mind #peggy in endgame #meta #daniel sousa #never forgotten

[avelera]

Maggie’s Captain Marvel Review:

I’m gonna put this under the cut to avoid spoilers!

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...

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Pros: So first off, there’s nothing not to enjoy about this film. As Marvel origin stories go, it’s one of the stronger entries. Definitely better than Dr. Strange or even First Avenger. It’s got fun, heart, strong performances, and a likable main character. It made me very excited for a second film with Carol because now that we’ve got her rather convoluted backstory out of the way, I’m ready for the angst train and some serious plot to happen. I think a second Carol movie has a strong potential to be the Winter Soldier to this film’s First Avenger if they just increase the story quality in a similar way, and they’ve got a strong team in place to pull that off.

Cons: I should preface by saying, the “cons” are all things my writer brain picked out and are criticisms of the structure of the story and not of my enjoyment. The movie was enjoyable, my time was not wasted. 

My main critique is that the story lacked a central theme by lacking a central emotional conflict for Carol to overcome, a lesson for her to learn, which in general is what delivers us our theme or main thread of the story and left it feeling rather scattered between the three acts. However, given that the last time Marvel tried to give a lead female character an emotional “Dark Night of the Soul” moment it was in AoU with Nat “lamenting” how not being able to have children makes her feel like a monster *ENDLESS SIGH*... I’m ok that Carol avoided any hamfisted or failed attempt at giving her something to break down over emotionally in the final act, in favor of just making a fun action movie.

The thing is, I spent a lot of the film squinting at the screen because my writer brain was in overdrive trying to figure out WTF was going on. The first third of the movie felt like a video game tutorial to me, trying to info dump on me all the various new alien races I needed to keep track of, Carol’s powers, Carol’s squad, etc etc, and how this had anything to do with Earth or the Marvel franchise to date. 

The second third of the movie seemed to introduce the theme of, “Trust No One” and managed to imbue a sense of paranoia into the narrative between the Skrull and the eventual reveal that the Kree, and Carol’s squad, as the actual bad guys. Part of me almost wished the “Trust No One” theme had been there a bit more strongly throughout because it was a good centralizing theme for the conflict. 

But then the last third of the movie was pretty much just a triumphant romp. The theme became, “Carol is Awesome!” We learn she was a badass pilot, she has badass friends, she’s a badass who saves the day! The humor becomes more consistent. While it was peppered throughout the film, it goes full Guardians of the Galaxy with the period 90s girl power music. She defeats all the bombs easily and scares off Ronan with a glare, then one-shots the closest individual she had to an emotional bad guy or dark mirror, then rolls off to save the day for the refugee Skrull because yeah we love adorable refugees in theory but we don’t want them in our country, right, USA? We just want them to somehow go off and find their own magical country somewhere else.

With Captain Marvel, I struggled with figuring out what the story was about. Not about in the literal sense, but the “about” of your story is what makes it bigger than watching someone punch bad guys for a couple hours. Perhaps the fact that I’m a woman and therefore “learning” that a woman can be a badass isn’t something I notice means I missed out on the lesson the story was trying to impart.

But stories generally have an XYZ. “This is a story about X (character) who goes on a physical journey of Y (the main conflict) in which they learn Z (the overarching lesson of the tale).” In Thor 1 we meet Thor, a space prince (X) who must become worthy of his hereditary weapon and throne (Y) in order to overcome his own flaws of selfishness and immaturity (Z). Iron Man has a similar emotional theme of learning personal responsibility, as does GotG, and even Captain America 1 which takes, like Carol, someone who is pretty heroic from the beginning and then has him learn the full extent of the sacrifices he must make to save the world. These moments come together and coalesce in the “Dark Night of the Soul” moment, a character’s lowest point reveals what they needed to learn all along as they suffer a fate worse than death for a portion of the narrative to show us what they most feared to lose.

Generally speaking in a plot formula the Dark Night of the Soul happens right before the Climax in the third act. It’s the moment where the protagonist is brought to their lowest point emotionally and learn the lesson they’re supposed to learn in this story, which prepares them to throw everything into the final battle. In Thor 1, for example, it’s the moment where Thor can’t lift Mjolnir. He has a literal Dark Night of the Soul in the middle of the night, sitting in the rain. He’s taken captive and Loki delivers him terrible news about how he’s not welcome back home. This forces Thor into confrontation with his own past failures and shallowness. It reforges him into a better person, one worthy of triumphing in the end. 

As far as I could tell, the only thing Carol “overcomes” emotionally is her memory loss, but it’s not a terribly dark emotional moment because the memory loss was outside her control and inflicted on her, defeating it is uncomplicated as a result. The only lesson she learns is that she had a physical inhibitor preventing her from being a badass. It’s not a personal failure based on any kind of choice she made. She doesn’t really learn any kind of personal lesson or lesson that’s super relevant to her emotional state. In part because we never got a strong sense of her connection to the Kree such that losing her trust in them is a big crisis moment for her. Even the other woman on her team doesn’t seem terribly bothered that Carol switched sides.

In the end, it’s kind of the same plotline as She-Ra, but at least in the new She-Ra reboot we get a stronger sense of conflict from Adora about learning her old life with the bad guys was a lie and that she was being manipulated to fight for the bad guys. She-Ra actually has a more intense “Dark Night of the Soul” conflict over leaving her friends and old life behind because she decides to fight for the good guys in the war instead than Carol Danvers did with almost the same plotline, even though She-Ra is aimed at small children.

My theory is, the reason Marvel chose to avoid a dark night of the soul moment is the same reason they avoided a romance. They didn’t want the headline of the film to be “Carol cries in the third act because she’s a woman!” when even Steve Rogers cried in the third act of his film, as did Thor, and Tony Stark, because the Dark Night of the Soul is when the hero cries at their lowest point. By trying to avoid any moment where Carol could be broken down by her emotional plotline, they neutered her narrative of emotional impact and a lesson that she learned which would tie the story together and make it about something. Which, hey, I understand because if you do it wrong you’ve just undermined your first female hero (though even Wonder Woman had her dark night of the soul in the third act when she saw the bombed out French village she’d just saved, so it is possible to show tears from a female hero in a way that enhances the story instead of weakening the character). 

But honestly, I’ll take it. There’s plenty of action movies where the male protagonist doesn’t have a significant emotional lesson he learns, where the theme is flimsy at best, and it’s really about punching bad guys to a bopping soundtrack, and we just call those fun action movies. Which is what Carol got and that’s totally fine. It was a fun action movie!

#captain marvel

[aftermathdb]

DEATH BATTLE Review: Captain Marvel vs. Shazam.

The DEATH BATTLE Curse lives on.

Two heroes, with their title and role forced upon them by a mentor now duke it out to see who is a true marvel.

Captain Marvel′s Preview.

Thanks to a certain new movie that’s pretty popular right now, we have a general idea as to who she is. Inspired by her Navy dad, she wanted to be an astronaut. In order to do this, she joined the Air Force. But, one day, she was caught in an explosion from a machine called the Psyche-Magnitron.

Since (Plot twist) her mom was actually a Kree all along, Carol wasn’t killed, but instead, she got super powers!

But it was basically like being drunk. Except, instead of driving and ending up running people over with her car, Carol’s ‘drunken’ persona was a hero. Eventually, she figured it all out, and went through a lot of names. Like Ms Marvel, Warbird, Whiz Bang…

Until one day, a dear friend passed on. Inspired by her mentor, Carol then took  on the name Captain Marvel.

Captain Marvel has plenty of superhuman abilities. From your standard flight, super strength, speed, and a healing factor. She also has “precognitive awareness” that we’re just going to call a 7th Sense for the sake of this review.

But, Carol’s real power comes in form of her energy absorption. And when she gets enough of it, she basically turns into Moltres from Pokemon.

Her 7th Sense can give her an edge up on opponents too. As it lets her know what’s going to happen to her on the battlefield. And in her Binary form, she can bust up planets.

And what hero rundown would be complete without some impressive feats?

But Carol is hardly invincible. She’s got her limits on absorption, and her feats only go so far. Also, she doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to magic.

But, as an Avenger, Air force pilot, a NASA security guard and so much more, Carol’s not one to give up in the face of danger.

Shazam′s Preview.

Thanks to a certain new movie that’s pretty popular right now, we have a general idea as to who he is. Fifteen-Year old Billy Batson was an orphan kid, who didn’t really know the meaning of family. But one day, after running from some bullies, he was whisked away to the Rock of Eternity, where he was given incredible powers that he could access at the shout of a single word:

SHAZAM!

And with that, he became Captain Marvel… Okay, history lesson time.

See, Marvel kinda got a bit upset about the whole thing kinda intruding on their name. Carol came in about 20 years later than Billy there, but it’s a bit more complex than that.

See, Captain Marvel wasn’t originally made by DC, but by Fawcett Comics as a competitor to Superman (Incidentally, Fawcett is now used regularly in Shazam mythos. Whether it be the city that Billy resides in, or the school he goes to, it’s always there somewhere).

Anyways, DC wasn’t a fan of competition, and took Fawcett to court.

And they won. Meaning that Captain Marvel is now DC property.

But then Marvel got in on the game, and it got even more complex from there. Because of how copyright and trademarks worked, there was a bit of a feud of what was going on.

Long story short, Marvel owned the name, but DC owned the character. So, they battled it out in the courts until DC decided to just name the character Shazam.

As Shazam, Billy gains access to these powers:

For the record, Zeus once channeled enough power to destroy the shattered God, a guy who was originally broken by the original Big Bang.

Shazam also has a lot of other powers to draw from.

From a healing factor, to the ability to teleport to the Rock of Eternity, to being able to share his power with those he considers family, Billy’s got it all.

And for those of you who haven’t figured it out, like Boomstick, here’s how the word works:

With all these powers, he’s pulled off some ridiculous stuff.

Now, to match the Flash’s speed, Shazam would have to be able to match the Speed Force, which means that Shazam’s best speed would have to match up to about…

……… Still not a number that’s faster than EXE, but considering that it would be the Speed of Mercury vs. the Speed Force, I’d say that that’s a major move for the Flash.

Shazam also once did this:

Now, he once got hit by a thing called the Tessaract Bomb.

If you’re wondering what it does, then brace yourselves…

That. He survived thanks to his powers, but the fact that he survived it is impressive.

Of course, Shazam’s experience isn’t that impressive considering… He’s 15. But the fact that he’s managed to keep up with the best of them and be a true hero through and through. That’s one impressive feat for a guy who can basically be described as “The Ultimate Power Fantasy.”

The Battle Itself.

Zack is lead on animation. Terri Doty will reprise her role as Captain Marvel from before and Shazam will be voiced by Michael Kovach. Since transformation is inevitable, Billy is going to appear and will be voiced by Paige Stork (If someone could link me to her twitter, that would be great. In the meantime, that’s her Roosterteeth profile). Jerky as the sprite artist, Chris Kokkinos ob audio, and music (titled “Marvelous”) by Brandon Yates.

So the battle starts with Billy as Shazam just walking down the street messing around with his powers. Electrifying a lamp post, a car, and an ATM

An ATM that seems to be filled with… Mr Krabs’ first dollar? Since when do ATMs dispense one-dollar bills?

Anyways, Carol sees this, and since we all know how this would look to anyone without context, Shazam decides to skedaddle. But Carol gives chase, and we have a fight on our hands.

So, Shazam decides to power through the attacks, and then goes for one of his favorite go-to attacks: Flying the opponent up while grappling them to hit them with lightning.

But, since Carol’s powerset basically makes this move null, all it does is mega-evolve Carol into her Binary form.

And since Carol retains the properties of the energy she absorbs, she can magic Billy back to his original form.

Caught off-guard (Because there’s no way anyone could see that coming without knowledge of Billy’s origin), Billy transforms back into his Super-Hero persona.

So, Carol’s kinda mad about the fact that a fifteen-year old kid has been kicking her butt, so she’s done playing games as she charges

(For the record, this line is way more hammy than the screenshot makes it look. Speaking of, I’m thinking of shrinking the dialogue a bit and adding a background color to it to make the dialogue more visible but hopefully not interfere with the visuals).

So, after crashing underground for like… three seconds (How deep would that have to be for that to work?), Carol and Shazam exit at a subway station.

So Shazam brings it back to where it all began.

Right to deep space. So after tossing Carol through three other space rocks

Shazam gears up for a finishing blow.

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

Boom!

… How is it that no matter how badly you annihilate one of these hero-types, some shred of their uniforms somehow always manages to remain intact?

(Shout-out to anyone who knows that line)

Verdict + Explanation.

So, Carol holding her own against the likes of the Phoenix force and other cosmic beings certainly meant that she could hold her own against Shazam’s strength, she kinda fell short in a good chunk of the other categories.

Take speed, for instance. While Carol’s Binary form could reach the speed of light,

Shazam could use only a fraction of that to outpace her in that area.

Experience sorta went to Carol, but the Wisdom of Solomon would certainly close the gap a lot more. It’s really overpowered, to say the least.

But most importantly, Carol simply didn’t have the means to really take Shazam down in terms of strength.

Now, for the record, when Shazam punched a black hole into existence, he was giant at the time.

Now, judging by the size of the hole, we can determine the Schwarzchild Radius.

From there, we can determine the mass of the black hole.

And then we can figure out how much force it would take to make something like that.

And in case you’re wondering, a single foe is basically…

(We still haven’t broken EXE’s record of highest number ever recorded).

And this isn’t some weird outlier either. Zeus was able to destroy the shattered god.

While he had help from other gods that he was channeling energy through, this still means he has a fraction of that same power. Even if there were a thousand gods helping him out, Zeus’ power would still be, at minimum…

That level of power.

Credit where it’s due, though…

Overall impression.

Personal opinions aside, the fight was really well-animated, the dialogue was on-the-nose, and the results are what you’d expect. While I still find the comparisons to be shallow at best, the fight’s entertaining.

This isn’t a unique scenario like Flash vs. Quicksilver, nor is it a scenario with deeper comparisons like Venom vs. Bane, this is basically like a horse with a broken leg vs. a farmer with a tank… A tank that’s powered by a nuke!

7.0/10. It’s blatantly one-sided with no unique things about the scenario to make it feel like it was worth it. Outside of the music and animation, the scenario is still a straight fight. It’s not a death race. There’s no real deeper comparisons to be made. It’s just a fight. It’s a good fight, but not a unique one.

Next Time…

Huh… Well, time to see if the tier lists are lore complicit.

If we’re going off of Smash tier lists, then Wario takes it.

Is there a fight that you want me to review? - Send an ask/request, and I’ll look into it!

Do you want to read my fanfic based around DEATH BATTLE itself? click here!

Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you next time for…

King vs Waa!

#review #Death Battle #Deathbattle #screwattack

[beaubaltsoul]

just got back from seeing endgame. some thoughts below.

DO NOT READ IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED, DUH! 

So I feel like I should preface this by saying that I'm not really the type of person  who wants or likes to dwell on the bad parts of movies. If I go to the theater to watch a movie it’s because I'm excited to see it. I WANT to be there, you know?

That being said, as I sit here after having just come back from seeing Avengers Endgame, trying to find the right words for how I feel, all I've got is: sad. *insert helpless/confused shrug gif*

(Edit: I started writing this as soon as I got home from the movie but that has now been many hours ago)

I mean it’s the end of an era I guess, so maybe sadness is just par for the course. Things ending are kind of like small deaths. There’s gonna be a grieving process. But y'all, I just don’t think that’s what it is for me. (At least not completely.)

I like the mcu a lot. I don’t like it unequivocally and unconditionally. I have favorite and not so favorite mcu films. I have favorite and not so favorite characters. We all do. That’s the cool thing about the world of superheroes. There's a whole lot of variety and options.

And overall, I really did like Endgame I think. The fights were intense and thrilling, the funny parts were funny, mostly coming from who you’d expect, and other times coming from a surprising source. The emotionally heavy parts were a mixed bag for me. Some of them made me feel a lot of things. Some of them didn’t make me feel anything. If only because some of them were centered around characters that I have not connected to or cared about in other movies.

But all this so far has just been me giving a kind of vague review of the movie. What I really came here to talk about was how unexpectedly pissed I got about Natasha’s arc in the movie.

I should let you know that I don’t know much about the character of Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow outside of what I've seen in the mcu. And even within the mcu she hasn’t been one of my favorite characters. I've liked her and appreciated her, she just hasn't been my fav, you know?

So anyway, I don't really know how to transition to this smoothly so I'm just gonna outright say it: I'm so fucking pissed they had Nat sacrifice herself on Vormir to get the soul stone. I'm just. SO ANGRY ABOUT IT. It was an absolutely horrible inverse parallel to Thanos killing Gamora to get the soul stone. They made me watch another woman be sacrificed to serve the story. And once again, they gave us that awful prolonged shot of her dead body at the bottom of that cliff just like they did with Gamora.

Like, y'all! what the fuck! I know Natasha willingly chose this for herself and I know that Clint was just as willing to sacrifice himself, and he actively tried to to so and there was a scuffle, but that deosn’t change the fact that it ended up being Natasha. I really desperately hoped that since she sacrificed herself, since the two of them were willing to lose their own lives instead of forfeiting someone else’s, then they’d get the stone and also get to keep their life. I thought maybe the soul stone would reward them for making the selfLESS choice instead of the selfISH one. But she died just like Gamora. And she remained dead. I just really can’t get over it. 

The one woman on the original Avengers team didn’t even get to participate in the final epic showdown and I'm very unexpectedly emotional about it. 

Speaking of the final showdown, everyone’s entrances, all those that got dusted portal-ing in from across the globe to fight Thanos and his army, was definitely one of the well-earned emotional highs of the film.

And I'm sorry but I really need to talk about a few other parts of the movie that irked me.

First of all, I CANNOT BELIEVE that they didn’t let Nebula kill Thanos!! That woman has been trying for soooo long to kill that bastard and they fucking gave that honor to Thor at first, and then Tony at the end. And I get that this is an AVENGERS movie, that those original six would be the focus of the film. And I get that every single protagonist in the film has suffered greatly because of Thanos, but are we not all agreed that Nebula has the most personal stake in this fight against Thanos? That fucker physically and emotionally abused her for most of her life and then killed her sister just as she and Gamora had begun to have a healthy relationship with each other. NEBULA DESERVED TO KILL THANOS. I really thought they would at least give her that.

And lastly, and I recognize that this is my own personal bias since Carol has been one of my favorite characters for many years now, but I had really thought/hoped that Captain Marvel would be more involved. I know the Russo brothers talked a lot about figuring out how to involve her without having her overpower the other heroes, but I think they did a shit job of it. They just crippled her character by sending her back into space to do whatever, while everyone else figured out how to fix the universe. She was left out of most of the movie only to come into the final fight towards the end to take out Thanos’ giant ship that was bombing the battlefield. Like, the Russos only wanted Carol to be powerful when it when it was convenient for them and other than that she was unnecessary. It’s so annoying. And god, they painted her as such a better-than-you lone wolf type of person, I hated it. Like, yes, Carol is a very independent and capable woman, but she’s also absolutely a team player and I don’t think the Russos understand her. Please Marvel, let Carol be written by someone who understands her from now on. And I know that Brie filmed her parts of Endgame BEFORE Captain Marvel had started filming, so that might be part of the characterization problem. But the problem is also just men.

And I guess I was also hoping for her to be more involved because I thought there would be more of a passing the torch feel to the movie. Not just for Carol, but also for Peter and T’challa (and also Valkyrie???) There kind of was for Scott I guess? And there definitely was for Sam. Again, I know this is an AVENGERS movie, so the original group would be the focus, but yeah, just to repeat myself, I did think there would be a sort of group passing of the torch. A bit disappointed that there wasn’t.

We did get short haired Carol which was a blessing. And we also got that really cool part of the final fight where all of the female superheroes teamed up for a hot second. But it really was just a hot second y’all, it could have lasted a little bit longer. ALSO, there was some emotional emptiness to it because NAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE TOO.

Okay, I lied above, this is actually the last thing i'll say. I'm fine with how they ended Cap’s story. Was it a cookie cutter happy ending that we’ve seen countless times before? Yeah kinda, but like I said, I'm cool with it. I am of the opinion that both Steve AND Peggy deserve to get what they want most, and what they want/wanted most was each other. They finally got their dance, and then they got a lifetime together and I'm happy for them. (Side note, old man Steve looked like Joe Biden and it made me uncomfortable. I really hope Chris Evans doesn’t age into a Biden doppelgänger. That would be sad.)

I really don’t know what this post has turned into. It’s mostly just an outlet for me to express my feelings about the movie. I just wanted to say somewhere how incredibly sad I was about Natasha’s story arc, even if I'm still mostly confused about why exactly it impacted me so much. And also to express my disappointment about some other aspects of the movie. And like, I get it, this is a big fucking film in terms of characters involved and that’s a really difficult balance to pull off, but I just feel like where sacrifices were made, they were made to the detriment of some of the female characters. idk. Natasha’s death just really fucked me up y'all. 

#avengers endgame #avengers endgame spoilers #endgame spoilers #natasha romanoff #black widow #mcu

[averagemovieg0er]

Captain Marvel Movie Review Spoilers

Captain Marvel introduces a new character into the already well established MCU and struggles to be a character people care for.

While Captain Marvel is a badass superhero who does some serious ass kicking, she lacks any empathy people could feel for her. While I’m myself a very emotional movie goer who cries at virtually every minor human conflict in every movie there is, Captain Marvel only managed to make me tear up on one occasion. While that’s a very subjective assessment it does say a lot about the movie. The movie has a rather weak opening, compared to the recently released DC Superhero Movie Aquaman it doesn’t capture the audience from the very beginning but rather leaves them hanging waiting for the feeling of having arrived in her world. The audience is waiting for the ‘I’m about to go on an adventure’ moment for essentially the whole movie. I never got to the stage of being completely invested in her story which usually happens at least at the end of the first act of a movie. Aquaman is a good example of a very immersive opening scene by opening Aquaman’s journey with a loud bang of a window blind slamming against a wall during a heavy storm. American Animals is another good example of a completely immersive opening, where over the course of a couple minutes the moviegoers are immediately captured by the story and intrigued. At the end of the scene the audience has arrived in the world of the protagonists and thereon begins the adventure. 

Sadly Captain Marvel doesn’t do that to the point that I barely remember how it begins and I left the theater roughly 3 hours ago. The opening sequence is interrupted by her waking up and revealing that she just had a bad dream. She then continues to look for Jude Law’s character Yon Rogg and their first interaction already tells you what kind of Character Carol Danvers is, she’s kind of sarcastic and has a dry humor I would say which I normally prefer and can relate to. However the first words she said  didn’t do anything for me and most of the audience members and I thought it was very bland and uninteresting. This conversation sets the tone for the rest of the movie. It’s not that she’s not funny or annoying or a bad person, but she has nothing distinctive to her. Anyone could’ve said these things, they’re not unique to her character. I know that it was only two lines but my point is that that’s how it continues. She does get funnier and more charismatic when she interacts with Fury and I do think that these scenes make her likeable and give her a certain edge, however these moment are quite rare and any other dialogue she has or decisions she makes are simply boring and almost predictable. I did enjoy that she feels like more of the girl next door type of character, as opposed to Gal Gadot’s Wonderwoman for example,which would make her more relatable, but somehow it doesn’t fit the story. They try to give her a backstory and some motivation but the scenes where they do try are never paid off. We see a couple flashbacks over and over again where she fails at go-karting or rope climbing, and they are supposed to be symbolic for her being human and never giving up, but the audience doesn’t feel that. To me it just showed that she fell down a couple of times and got up again but there’s no real plot twist in that narrative. They show a man in the Airforce telling her that she can’t control her emotions and therewith won’t ever be any good as an army pilot, but that moment is never paid off. In the first act they push the story line of her not being able to control herself because there’s more to her than being a fighter, like emotions and a moral compass, they just don’t bring that across. The pay off for all these scenes is the moment where she stands up to the higher intelligence by accepting that she’s human and therewith unlocks her full powers. It sounds great on paper but in reality the scenes didn’t do anything to the spectators. The person she stood up to has almost no significance, and it just continues the repeatedly shown narrative of her getting back up after she’s been down but we still don’t really understand her motivation. Also she doesn’t face any obstacles of trying to unlock her powers, she just does so by using them to its full extent. The idea of her humanity being the main hardship she has to battle with isn’t shown in an emotionally investive manner, she just says it. They showed her struggle with coming to terms with who she is in a way better sequence when Maria Rambeau tells her that she’s there for her and emphasizes on their strong friendship in the past. Maria Rambeau is the best written and most human character in the movie in my opinion. I truly feel for her and because she’s such a great character her words towards Carol have such a big influence that she is able to benefit from them and show her vulnerable human side, but unfortunately that’s the only thing where we see it because the climax just uses dialogue without any emotionally investing background. That was also the only moment that made me tear up because you could feel the confusion and hopelessness Carlos must’ve felt the whole time, discovering she was  brainwashed for the past six years and missed out on this great connection with Monica.

Another reason why the movie feels a little shallow are the stakes, who are basically non existent. I know that a lot of people say there aren’t ever real stakes in a Marvel movie which I fundamentally disagree with, BUT in this one there really aren’t any. She is already super powerful at the very beginning of this movie, and we’ve seen in the trailer that she can fly. Even without seeing the trailer they tease from the very beginning that she’s even stronger than we see in the first parts of the movie because characters like Yon-Rogg continuously tell her to hold back. Her ‘opponents’ don’t really seem to have any superpowers and she can easily overpower them mostly even in hand to hand combat. She’s never in any real danger which wouldn’t really be a problem if there were other obstacles she has to overcome but as I already stated her back story doesn’t really work and doesn’t prevent her from kicking ass at all. There’s no real inner or outer conflict. The big enemy Ronan just flees the scene upon seeing her powers, which is kinda cool at first glance and symbolizes how powerful she really is but it’s also insanely underwhelming. It’s very atypical for these powerful characters to just give up that easily. Imagine the Avengers just fleeing the scene everytime they see someone more powerful than them . Every Avengers movie would result in them giving up. I know that there’s more complexity in Avengers’ motives of why they keep fighting even in hopeless situations, but Ronan giving up that easily just seems like lazy writing and he’s only being used to demonstrate how powerful Captain Marvel is supposed to be, which just makes him a disposable plot device. The moment where she discovers her true strength comes as no surprise and there’s not even a visually satisfying scene of her coming into her full powers, other than the one we’ve already seen in the trailer countless times and a short cool scene of her falling, her eyes lighting up and realizing that she can fly. Also her powers aren’t very well established I still don’t know what her powers actually are, they seem boring and that thing she did which resulted in Ronan leaving was very abstract and not really a tangible concept to grasp, which I do realize sounds ridiculous because it’s a Superpower, but it still leaves me kinda confused of how she would for example try to defeat Thanos. I don’t know the full scope of her powers, other than people outside of the movie telling me that she’s supposed to be the strongest Avenger.

Talking about the visuals is also important when reviewing this movie. They’re just kinda bland. The only visually pleasing scenes are of her flying into space and preventing Ronan’s bombs to hit earth, but it’s too short and the badassness and the seriousness of her powers and that moment are taken away by her screaming about how much fun she’s having. Now it is a fun character trait to include her acting like that but it seems out of character, because she’s never seemed like the ‘screaming because of happiness’ type of character. Also in comparison to Thor in Ragnarok, who became this really funny goofy character, he doesn’t squeal of joy when he unlocks his full powers on the rainbow bridge. It’s a serious moment, it’s life or death for his people, but these stakes and the seriousness is never present in the third act of Captain Marvel.

To add another comparison of these two movies, Captain Marvel doesn’t really have a tone. It has semi grungy visuals but that’s it as far as that goes. Certain parts of the movie are too dark, like the very first Starforce mission and Captain Marvels battle against the Starforce at the end of the movie. The music isn’t special but a rather obvious choice and sometimes doesn’t go with the scenes at all. For example when Carol has to fight Yon-Rogg and the Starforce on Lawson’s Ship. The music and the seriousness and badassness of the scene don’t go together at all. The visuals alone can’t carry the theme of the movie and much like in the first Thor movie they chose a location that’s rather bland to begin with, which is parts of Los Angeles where you don’t see any landmarks and then somewhere in the desert. The switch from a beautiful outer space civilization to the plain desert hasn’t worked in Thor and didn’t work in Captain Marvel either. On top of that the space station of Dr. Lawson felt like an unfinished set piece in my opinion. It was just a room with space ship looking like walls and a couple of artifacts from earth randomly placed in the room, it again didn’t have a distinctive feeling to it, nor did it set any specific atmosphere for the scenes.The MCU has stepped up its game and knows what it’s doing with essentially every movie but Captain Marvel doesn’t portray that and feels very forgettable. If that was the first superhero movie I’ve ever seen I would’ve been amazed but only because of the visuals and because she’s a superhero and that’s always exciting. But we’re long past that. We live in a post Infinity War era, where Superhero movies have exceeded their genre and they tell the most human and grand and mind blowing stories in cinematic history. At first it might just be unfair to expect such a standard from an origin movie, but then I realized that I can still go back to Dr. Strange or Black Panther and be just as excited for their story as I was when I watched them the first time and they totally hold up even in the face of Infinity war, so Captain Marvel really has to step her game up, other heros have done it too. I really wanted to see the movie succeed considering Carol Danvers is going to be part of the MCU for a while now but I was disappointed. It was still an entertaining movie at times and I don’t regret going to the movies to see it but at its best it’s just mediocre which no superhero in the MCU deserves at this point. Captain Marvel is going to join the Avengers in Endgame and I hope that she’ll be ‘Russo’d’ just like Cap, Spider-man and Thor. I still believe in Marvel to make the right decisions to bring a glorious end to the first 10 years of the MCU. The clock to Endgame has begun !

Overall score: solid 5/10 

Quick complaints and thoughts:

(Goose’s eye-scratching scene should have happened at a different time in the movie, it felt kinda forced and short cut, but I liked the idea)

(The Avengers Initiative being named after Captain Marvel felt a little disrespectful to all the other heroes we’ve been with for the past 10 years, just didn’t feel deserved)

(Coulson was way underwritten, but I liked him more than I did in The Avengers)

(Did they have to release Captain Marvel before Endgame because they needed to introduce Goose as a Flerken in order to use her dimensional pockets to defeat Thanos ??)

#captain marvel #marvel #movie review #film review #movie #brie larson #samuel l jackson #mcu #avengers endgame #avengers #endgame #infinitywar #infinity war #goose the cat #skrulls #kree #mar-vell #yon-rogg #jude law #phil coulson #captain america #black widow #war machine #hulk #bruce banner #carol danvers #review #hollywood #super hero #hero

[youhavenoideahowmuchihatethis]

I posted 37.160 times in 2021

49 posts created (0%)

37111 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 757.4 posts.

I added 351 tags in 2021

#stucky - 78 posts

#fanfic - 52 posts

#ao3 - 34 posts

#steve rogers - 32 posts

#bucky barnes - 31 posts

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Longest Tag: 136 characters

#i am an aries and that's why i am not going to be able to make it to the theater and i am not going to be able to make it to the meeting

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

“Seb? Baby? Sweetheart?”

Nothing. He didn’t even blink. Now Chris was getting very desperate. He just didn’t cope well with being ignored by Sebastian. Ok, he thought, it’s time to bring out the big guns.

7 notes • Posted 2021-06-20 13:20:27 GMT

#4

Hiii I just posted my first fic on ao3

It started with a little Evanstan hc on a discord sever that inspired me to write this!

9 notes • Posted 2021-03-27 23:01:36 GMT

#3

stucky and vines - ishouldbesleepingrightnow - Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]

Me? Procrastinating by writing three one shots in three days? I would never!

(but I put them here if you want to check out the series)

21 notes • Posted 2021-07-29 19:31:47 GMT

#2

“It’s not exactly up to regulation, but what do you think?”

Steve raises his head to look up from the maps he’s been studying. They are currently in a British army base, situated in London’s undergrounds. Bucky is standing in front of him, looking expectantly at him. His arms are outstretched to show off his new dark blue peacoat.

What does Steve think? He thinks the material looks sturdy and warm. He thinks the color isn’t exactly camouflage, but still dark enough to not stand out or be spotted easily. He thinks it’s just the right fit, not hanging off his shoulders or restricting him by being too tight.

He thinks about how the coat hugs his middle, not as thin as when he found him, strapped to a table and barely conscious, but not as built as he had been before he shipped out either. He thinks that the blue of the coat brings out the blue of Bucky’s eyes, a color Steve hadn’t been able to see a few months ago, but a color that has quickly become his favourite ever since Bucky opened his eyes to Steve’s pleas in an Austrian Hydra facility. He thinks about how the fabric would feel under his touch, if he would be able to feel Bucky’s warmth, or if the material would safely conceal it.

None of these thoughts he says out loud. Instead he lets his eyes roam over Bucky’s body one more time. “What, you’re in the navy now?” he asks with a smirk.

Bucky drops his arms and rolls his eyes, already turning away. “Why do I even bother with you Rogers?”

“No, no Bucky, wait”, Steve laughs, going after the other man, and getting a hold of his wrist, turning him back around. “Here, let me get a better look at it.”

29 notes • Posted 2021-10-13 15:18:50 GMT

#1

hey remember how in the first avengers movie this global security council made the decision to nuke new york because of the aliens, sending a missile out and everything?

and do you also remember in the first captain america movie steve rogers was ready to kill himself so a bomb... wouldn't hit.... new york??

and maybe you also remember hey the first avengers movie takes place like two weeks after steve rogers woke up

Because I just remembered and now I don't know what to do with myself

181 notes • Posted 2021-06-28 21:56:17 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[frasier-crane-style]

Black Panther

It was okay.

-Just about every post or review I’ve seen of this has started with some variant of “I’m a white guy, so I can’t imagine what this means to black people,” which I find a little patronizing. If it meant a lot to you, I’m not going to denigrate that--although part of me thinks that some of that’s due to a cynical marketing campaign positioning this as the first movie that’s ever had black people in it. Just know that I can’t speak to how important a movie is to the black experience, either for or against, I can only speak to how I enjoyed it and what I thought of its various elements. 

-I liked most of the cast, I thought a lot of the way they visualized Wakanda managed to pull off the “grass huts and forcefield” level of technology Jack Kirby envisioned without coming off as cheesy--even if it doesn’t quite fit to the Hudlin, Wakanda has always been advanced, backstory (in the comics, there are giant panther mecha. In the movie, there are... rhinos with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads). I thought the Korea action sequence was good, as well as parts of the final battle--the action ranges from bad (the opening fight) to good, but I don’t think it’s ever as visceral as Cap and Bucky storming through a SWAT team, a throwaway moment that now comes across as a highwater mark in a genre of Homecomings and Ragnaroks.

-Some people have said that T’Challa was boring, I thought the character and the acting was fine in a story that didn’t give him a lot to do (see below). I’d rather have a quiet, Zen Black Panther then see Tacoma Whippits turn him into a joke machine, and the obligatory bits in the first half where he has to act like a dork so we in the audience “relate to him” or whatever are just the worst. You had Feige specifically comparing T’Challa to James Bond, but I don’t remember Sean Connery slipping on a banana peel to tell us viewers that he was a fun guy. Just make the guy a convincingly badass motherfucker, we’ll like him. It worked in Civil War. (This is half a petty nitpick since after the ‘Q’ scene, they knock it off, but still, first impressions are important.)

-Petty nitpick department: For a genius, you’d think Shuri would realize that it’d be a lot easier to launch jeep-disabling weapons from the jet instead of making them into tiny little beads that you have to throw as you fall out of a plane. Even Batman just goes ahead and puts a gun on the Batwing, you know.

-They make this big point of how advanced Wakanda is, but it really doesn’t seem that much more advanced than what SHIELD and Tony Stark have. Like, what’s the difference between a Quinjet and whatever Wakanda’s version of a Quinjet is? The Black Panther suit seems less advanced than Iron Man’s stuff. Yeah, you can store it in a necklace, but it can’t shoot repulsor beams, it can’t fly, you have to physically walk around in it instead of being able to pilot it by remote. And the heart-shaped herb is a good biomodification, but it seems on par with Captain America, and not really something that has a mark on the Hulk, Quicksilver, Extremis, or Spider-Man. Kinda seems like the whole country could be taken out by one of those advanced Helicarriers from Winter Soldier. I realize they don’t want to make these guys too op, otherwise the next Spider-Man would end with Peter calling in a Dora Milaje to take out Venom for him, but it makes the Wakandans come off as a bit sheltered. “My Vibranium armor makes me bulletproof!” “Yeah, we have this Luke Cage guy, his skin does that.”

-Half of the plot seemed kinda... pointless? This has been out three weeks, so I feel safe in discussing spoilers--why couldn’t Erik just show up in Wakanda and challenge T’Challa in the first five minutes? Hell, why didn’t he show up before Civil War and challenge T’Chaka’s old ass? Seems like that would’ve been easier, plus, that was the guy who actually killed his father. 

-I guess Killmonger’s plan was... and much of this wasn’t presented as such, so I’m just hypothesizing...

Phase 0: Wait for T’Chaka to die so Wakanda is vulnerable during the transition of power. Don’t, like, set out to assassinate him yourself, even though that seems perfectly doable. Just, you know, hope you get lucky.

Phase 1: Dangle Klaw in front of T’Challa’s face with a vibranium selling plot, then sabotage his attempt at capturing him to weaken T’Challa’s position within Wakanda. (No idea how T’Challa couldn’t find Klaw before when the Avengers and Ultron were able to do it with ease in AoU. I guess T’Chaka really was lying down on the job there.)

(-I’ve seen it suggested that T’Chaka let Klaw run free as a way of covering up N’Jobu’s death, but it seems like A. there’s no way Klaw could’ve known that much about it, B. it’d be far safer to just find him and kill him on the spot, and no Wakandan would question it.)

Phase 2: Kill Klaw himself to gain favor with the Wakandans, which will work, and cause T’Challa’s lifelong best bud to turn against him (even knowing that Erik was responsible for Phase 1).

Phase 3: Defeat T’Challa in battle. Phases 2 and 3 are now pointless since all of Wakanda is now honorbound to follow you.

-Speaking of, if you’re some superpowered guy in a supersuit, I should think you could pull off disarming some jabroni with a gun without stabbing him in the heart. I mean, Spider-Man does that five times a day, and he’s fifteen. I guess the implication was that they Jack Ruby’d him? But then Marvel doesn’t want to dirty up Wakanda that much, so...

-I get Erik’s dad smuggling vibranium out of Wakanda, but why would he partner with a racist psychopath like Klaw to do it? You’d think a prince pulling an inside job could set up something a little better. It’s the Marvel universe! There must be like fifty supervillains he could’ve called up.

-Didn’t like that T’Challa’s big fight with Klaw, his arch-nemesis, was Klaw getting in one hit that BP no-sold, then just winning. That’s John Cena bullshit.

-There’s no way in hell I buy that a week after her father is murdered in a terrorist bombing, the unbearable Shuri is making quips about her brother having a girlfriend, much less stopping a religious ceremony to crack wise. Imagine Princess Di interrupting a royal wedding to moon people. Now remember that Wakanda is supposed to be way more honorbound and traditionalist than Britain.

-The whole resurrection of T’Challa thing makes no sense. So, Erik has taken over Wakanda and burned all but one of the heart-shaped herbs. So, since only the royal family can take the herb and become a Black Panther, Shuri has to step up... no? She just kinda follows along while they take it to M’Baku to make him the new Black Panther? But conveniently he’s saved T’Challa so they can give him the herb and immediately repower him.

-And if M’Baku’s people are such Luddites, how come they’re able to take on the Vibranium weaponry of W’Kabi’s guys? Do they also have Vibranium weapons? If so, where exactly are they drawing the line? Is a sword that can cut through Iron Man okay, but not a flying car? (Yes, I know there’s an explanation about jabbari wood in the EU, but they could at least put in one line about it so we know how it works without reading the novelization.)

-For a country that’s apparently super committed to isolationism, Wakanda really easily gets on board with Plan Imperialism. I guess most of the Wakandan people are morally inferior to the Asgardians, since even in Ragnarok’s hatchet-job, most of them were depicted as either actively resisting Hela’s imperialism or being cowed by her army.

-And no, don’t say the Wakandans were honorbound to follow Erik, because T’Challa specifically shows up in front of everyone and says that the duel isn’t finished, so a whole parcel of them are deliberately choosing Erik over T’Challa, despite Erik being this outsider, out-of-wedlock, blasphemous murderer they’ve never seen before... who is also obviously a psycho.

-It just seems like Wakanda goes really quickly from being one hundred percent behind T’Challa to going “You’re weak! Erik is strong! We need a strongman to lead us otherwise we’ll get our asses kicked!” I don’t buy that the Klaw fiasco is enough to totally torpedo T’Challa and make Erik untouchable.

-I mean, it’s the same basic plot as the first Thor, only there it works because the Asgardians don’t know just how much of a weasel Loki is, plus he goes to the trouble of setting Thor up first. 

-I got it, the issue is that this is based on the Don McGregor storyline where T’Challa had been away from Wakanda for a long time, serving on the Avengers and macking on gaijin Monica Lynne, so all of Wakanda was pissed at him and willing to hear this Killmonger guy out. But in the movie, he hasn’t done any of that, so it comes off as forced and contrived that all of a sudden, Wakanda is telling T’Challa to get to fuck.

-In fact, wouldn’t it make sense for Killmonger to factor M’Baku into his plans and take advantage of that tribe in some way? Since that’s one of the few things he could conceivably know about Wakanda (he really got lucky that W’Kabi was the first Wakandan he came across and totally sympathetic to a coup by a complete stranger).

-I guess the implication is that W’kabi and a lot of other Wakandans want to take over the world as some mix of maybe well-intentioned extremism, warrior pride, and garden-variety ambition, and they’re just following Killmonger because he can sign the papers. Which, when you think about it, makes Killmonger the black Donald Trump and his followers the Republican Party--”yeah, sure, he killed one priest, but he’s passing our tax bill, so...”--but I guess we’re going to skip straight from that take to him being a weeb?

-(That’s not really an issue with the film so much as a lot of the audience--not black people, but, like, Tumblr in general--deciding ahead of time exactly how they were going to feel about the movie and all its characters, which seems crazy to me. Like, why even go see the movie? But, not the movie’s fault, fanthings bein’ fanthing.)

-I thought the whole Okoye/W’kabi relationship was underdeveloped--at the end, when she stands up to him, I was like “oh, yeah, those two are A Thing.” I can’t imagine how much more forced taking the time to say Ayo--who is pretty much just the third Dora from the left here--is specifically in a lesbian relationship would be. So that’s a free pass from me for this stupid “gay representation controversy”. Even the T’Challa/Nakia thing felt pretty half-hearted and obligatory. The character of Nakia is alright, I was just never sure why these two in particular are into each other besides him being hot and her being hot (especially when the one thing we know about them is that their worldviews fundamentally disagree). Maybe she’s just the only woman T’Challa knows who A. has hair, B. isn’t related to him.

-In fact, it’s weird how the entire conflict in the movie is really between isolationism and outreach, yet there’s really no character representing or arguing for isolationism, not even any of the villains. T’Challa, I guess, but obviously he changes his mind. It seems like there should be a ‘devil on his shoulder’ type deal arguing for tradition. I think M’baku should’ve been that--the guy who slinks off into the shadows at the end, warning T’Challa that he’s coming for his ass because he opened up the borders and fucked with resurrection. (Five points to whoever gets that reference.) Instead, the conflict is lopsided because everyone seems to be against isolationism, they’re just differing in how.

-Actually, the whole thing of Wakanda following Killmonger just because he’s won this bullshit trial by combat because it’s tradition, and T’Challa urging them to follow him because it’s the right thing to do, could’ve been an okay take on that conflict, but instead apparently Wakanda legitimately wants to follow Erik and take over the world. And they just don’t spend enough time developing that.

-I also think they don’t spend enough time on T’Challa being depowered and kicked off the throne. It seems like there could be a really cool movie where, in the first fifteen or thirty minutes, Erik Killmonger shows up out of nowhere, kicks T’Challa’s ass, takes over Wakanda, and for the rest of the movie T’Challa is forced to rely on allies like Ross and M’baku who he can’t completely trust or rely on, and he has to fight his own people who are just trying to do the honorable thing, and he has to rethink being the Black Panther and earn that position instead of just having it handed to him. I’m pretty much describing the Don McGregor storyline this was adapted from. But, you know, why would you take that and add all this filler with Klaw and South Korea and such, and then skimp on the actual dramatic material? It’s like a version of Iron Man 3 where Tony’s house doesn’t get blown up until an hour and a half in, and then he immediately calls in the Iron Legion and goes to kick the Mandarin’s ass.

-Speaking of Korea, it seems a bit hypocritical to make this big production of being woke, then to throw in this inaccurate and ‘exotic’ side mission. It just seems like it’d be more thematic for this deal to be happening in Haiti or Jamaica or any other African country, somewhere where they could further comment on the story’s themes and develop them more. Maybe have the setting reflect what some of the characters want in terms of their goals, or fear happening to Wakanda? We kind of get that with the Boko Haram guys in the opening, but they’re dealt with so glibly (like muggers in a Batman movie) that it’s hard to see them as credibly a factor in any character’s thinking. Is T’Challa worried people like that will drag Wakanda down? Is Nakia determined to stop them? Seems like it was just something BP dealt with in ten seconds so he could hang out with this girl he likes.

-It’s funny that they follow in the steps of Ragnarok and Doctor Strange by dirtying up the heroes’ forebears--almost like that plot point is part of some formula 🤔 🤔 🤔 --yet still find time to white-wash a lot of Wakandan society. The Dora Milaje don’t have the underage, wives-in-training aspect. M’Baku and Nakia go from supervillains to frenemy and love interest, respectively. (Yeah, they turn W’kabi into a villain, but he beat his wife in the comics, so that’s not much of a stretch.) And yet, the plot relies on much of Wakanda being horrible people--willing to conquer the world, but not accept refugees. It’s a weird mix of utopianism and ‘uh, yeah, we still need to have a plot where the villain isn’t immediately dogpiled by all the average citizens who don’t like hyperwar.” Again, the Don McGregor storyline makes a point of Wakanda being a flawed, imperfect society, so it makes sense that Killmonger can take it over, but the movie is making the exact opposite point--Wakanda is so advanced and it’s so wonderful--and the plot doesn’t work anymore.

-To go into fanfic territory, it probably would’ve worked better if there were a significant amount of Wakandans who were pissed at T’Challa for letting Zemo live, because traditionally, someone who’d killed the King of Wakanda would be done, so it’s another divergence between what T’Challa finds moral and his country’s traditions. Just have M’baku say “you let your father’s killer live!” instead of “you failed to protect your dad!” 

-I’ve also seen it suggested that Killmonger’s master plan could’ve involved finding Zemo, springing him from American custody, and then delivering him to Wakanda. That sounds a lot stronger, but it would also result in Zemo necessarily being taken off the board, and even a bastardized Zemo seems too important to the Marvel Unnie for that. Maybe he could have a cousin who’s really into their family history?

-I think there were a few too many characters in this story. Most of the ‘strong female characters’ just seemed to spend the finale getting their asses kicked by Killmonger, while Ross’s Top Gun moment seemed pointless when--if T’Challa won--it seems like he could just order the transport to turn back... what, were they going to start World War 3 the moment they left Wakanda’s borders?

-Like, did Angela Bassett actually do anything in this movie? 

-Shuri, for instance, I think was so clearly intended to be ‘the meme one’ and just ended up ill-fitting in the MCU’s realistic milieu. I mean, this is a universe where Peter Parker isn’t much of a science nerd, he has a ‘guy at the computer’ to do his hacking for him and an AI to help him out and all that. Then over in Wakanda, you have a sixteen-year-old super-genius that’s the best scientist in the country and it clearly clashes with the grounded feel of the universe, but they just plow ahead with it anyway because “oh, it’ll get women interested in STEM, it’ll show black girls can do anything.” And she actually gets the better of T’Challa and razzes him with her ‘witty one-liners.’ I just find it really condescending. She’s basically a black female Wesley Crusher.

-Petty nitpick department: The first stinger is a dog. They end the movie SHOWING that T’Challa is revealing Wakanda to the world and using its technology and wealth to help out the underprivileged. Cool, got it, very clearly established all of that. Then after the first set of credits, we get a scene of... T’Challa going before the UN and TELLING that Wakanda is being revealed to the world and yadda yadda. It seems like the more natural scene would be him going up to Tony Stark or whatever and saying “hey, I’m joining the Avengers, and the next time there’s a problem, count me in!” But they cheaped out on getting RTD, so instead it’s just a less visually interesting presentation of a plot point we’ve already covered. This in a movie that was already very long and apparently left out crucial plot scenes.

-It’s also strange to have him give this big speech about how we’re all one tribe and we all have to come together, but a lot of his team seems at least casually racist? Like, you don’t see T’Challa saying “hey, M’baku, Ross was being pretty polite in addressing you, you didn’t need to bark at him like a dog just because he’s white” or “hey, sis, Ross is actually a buddy of mine and a pretty cool dude, maybe you shouldn’t greet him by calling him a racial slur?” I’m just saying, you wouldn’t see an X-Men movie where Jubilee is an unrepentant homophobe and all of the other mutants are cool with it.

-They set up that BP’s big special move is absorbing kinetic injury and then blasting it back out again, only it isn’t really clear how much he can take before it starts hurting him, if it ever hurts him. Like, could the Hulk punch him, then he gets up and walks it off, or would that break every bone in his body but leave his suit all glowy? I get that Captain America’s shield is unbreakable, so is BP walking around in an entire suit of that? And wouldn’t that make him invincible/boring? And for such a tactician of a character, they don’t really have him find any clever ways of using it, he just gets hit, uses the blast, moving on. You’d think there would be a scene where he does something counterintuitive or painful, but it’s just him thinking three steps ahead and charging up this power so he can use it at a crucial moment. 

-It also adds to the video game feeling of a lot of the already pixel-y action scenes that he literally has a rage meter limit break thing.

-Petty nitpick department: The movie characterizes both Klaw and Killmonger as Joker-style wisecrackers, which makes me wonder what they’ll do for villains in a sequel, since that’s Reverend Achebe’s thing and he’s about the last big villain in Black Panther canon who isn’t either dead in the MCU or adapted into an ally. And three evil Cockney jokesters in a row seems like a lot.

(-I’ve heard Dr. Doom suggested for a villain, but I kinda doubt Marvel would job out T’Challa/Wakanda to him, and Doom really needs a W if he’s going to be Doom.)

-I also don’t think the movie really engaged with its premise of depicting an African society that had never been colonized. In the real world, racial dynamics vary enormously from America to Europe to Japan, but Wakanda pretty much has the same viewpoints that African-Americans would have: resenting white people, using American idioms (”Guess who just popped up on the radar?”), even quoting American memes. It seems like in real life, Wakanda would be more concerned with the rest of Africa instead of being obsessed with America. I mean, in the comic books, you had Wakandans with this sense of jingoism, who resent all outsiders, no matter their skin color. Them making a distinction between white Americans and black Americans (for instance) comes off like pandering.

-Like, they start off the movie with BP fighting Nigerian slavers who have taken a number of women hostage and conscripted child soldiers, and obviously BP is against that, but how does Killmonger feel about those guys? Zuri? M’baku? Black people oppressing black people in Africa seems like a more immediate concern than police shootings all the way over in Oakland, but the whole idea seems too complex to factor into this white oppression dynamic, so they just use them as action scene fodder and move on to black people oppressed, white people mean. Maybe that’s supposed to be Killmonger being hypocritical and prioritizing stuff that reminds him of his own suffering over other issues, but that needs to be played out in the text.

-Because it seems like a really obvious counterpoint to Killmonger that there are political situations much more complex than “evil oppressors vs. innocent oppressed”--just look at the Middle East--and hence his simplistically violent philosophy is doomed to fail. Instead, the movie kinda concedes that his position is right, he’s just going about it in the wrong way. Which I think is intellectually dishonest.

-Petty nitpick department: They have an entire bit about how Shuri has designed these soundproof boots for T’Challa, but he never uses them. In accordance with the rule of Chekov’s Gun, which states that if you show a gun in the first act, then in the third act, it should turn out that it’s only purpose was to be a dumb joke.

-Petty nitpick department: So this takes place immediately after Civil War, and Civil War ended with Captain America in Wakanda, but then they never mention him in this and he doesn’t seem to be hanging around. I guess he’s off freeing all his buddies from the Raft during all this? But then the stinger of this is Bucky having been revived, and he was frozen again in the stinger to Civil War. So I guess it goes Civil War >>> Black Panther >>> the stinger of Civil War >>> the stinger of Black Panther? Usually when continuity is this convoluted, Han is still alive.