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A Cosmic Hourglass Half-Full: A Spoiler-Filled List of Everything I Appreciated about "Quantumania"

“So… what’s next… Secret Wars?” As someone whose feelings for the last two Marvel movies can be described as “mixed at best,” I was surprised to find myself uttering these words outside my local Laemmle.

It was 3 pm after a matinee showing of “Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania”, and while I found the movie heavy on the green screen and light on just about everything else, I was already looking forward to reuniting with my college friends for the next entry in ever-expanding Marvel Cinematic Universe.

It was at that moment that it occurred to me: the MCU, for better or for worse, is no longer just a franchise of movies and tv shows. They are cultural events. They are a recurring reason to gather with friends and family, and they give us something to talk about besides climate change and the price of gas. For this reason, attending a Marvel movie is almost like a sporting event. Sometimes, as with the case in Quantumania or Dark World, your team has a bad day. But that doesn’t mean you quit being a fan. It’s just more of a reason to celebrate franchise-defining moments, ala No Way Home or Endgame.

Therefore, in the spirit of optimistic fandom, here is a SPOILER-FILLED LIST OF EVERYTHING TO APPRECIATE ABOUT QUANTUMANIA, in order of appearance. Because yes, we lost this round, but the game definitely had some highlights…

-Jonathan Majors as Kang the Conqueror-

Simultaneously the movie’s greatest strength and most glaring weakness is the way it left you wanting more from the MCU’s newest big bad. Can an actor nail all his lines, even without things like motivation or context? Apparently, yeah. Majors might not actually have much to do in this movie, but you’ll struggle to take your eyes off him.

-Look Out for the Little Guy-

Scott’s post-Endgame memoir has been a running gag in the MCU for awhile now, but seeing Rudd ham it up in a Barnes n’ Noble is joy in its purest form. If this didn’t make you smile, I think you got the wrong theater…

-William Jackson Harper as Quaz, the Telepath-

Yeah, I didn’t know that character had a name either. Still, this Good Place alum delivered the laughs with every line. I think we’d all watch a comedy sitcom set in the quantum realm if Harper was the showrunner.

“Like Stuffing a Turkey”

Whatever discomfort we endured watching Michael Douglas double-fist a pair of gummy worms was paid off in perhaps the greatest “I’ll drive” moment in movie history. I’ve never heard an audience cheer for anything stranger.

All Things M.O.D.O.K.

While Cross’s freakish appearance provided some of the movie’s best visual gags, writer Jeff Loveness also deftly turned Yellowjacket from a D-list villain into one of the most entertaining and memorable characters in the entire MCU. And his death scene? Instant meme material. It was THAT good.

One in a Million Paul Rudds

-Remember that iconic Infinity War moment when Doctor Strange tells Tony that there is literally a one in 14 million chance that Thanos is defeated? Well apparently there’s also a one in a billion chance that Scott keeps his job at Baskin Robbins and never becomes Ant-Man in the first place. That’s pure comedy.

What about you? Which moments saved the movie for you, if even temporarily?

#marvel mcu #mcu #ant man #quantumania #paul rudd #movies #evangeline lilly #michael douglas #michelle pfeiffer #ant man and the wasp #m.o.d.o.k. #baskin robbins #infinity war #avengers endgame #spider man no way home

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The One Scene in “Avatar: The Way of Water” that Perfectly Encapsulates Everything Great and Not-So-Great about the Sci-Fi Spectacle

A Slightly-Spoilery Avatar Review

Lest I be accused of click-baity cynicism, let me begin by saying that James Cameron’s Avatar sequel is a ground-breaking achievement of visual story-telling. It is quite literally the most amazing thing I have ever seen on screen, and its special-effects filled me with a sense of awe and wonder I have not felt since the first Jurassic Park.

However, for all its technological innovations, watching A:TWoW feels like unearthing a time-capsule from a day when movies were more simple-minded and audiences expected less nuance. Pot-bellied villains cackle about how much money their evil deeds have wrought, newborn babies are held aloft for the adulation of the village, and every male character (indigenous or military) refers to one another as bro. For as innovative as the franchise has been, its script feels weighed down by the 13 years it took to make it to the second entry. And no scene summarizes this better than one in particular… (Minor Spoilers ahead)

At about the halfway point of the film, a new set of villains is introduced: poachers. For the sea-faring Na’vi, the ocean is filled with not animals, but friends. In fact, the audience is explicitly told that the whale-like Tulkuns possess more emotional and mathematical intelligence than even human beings. Which makes one 12 minute segment of the film borderline unwatchable.

A mother “whale” is isolated from its pack and slowly tortured to death in front of its infant. Its skin is ripped, its limbs stretched out, and its brain is literally juiced for an anti-aging serum that has no bearing on the plot whatsoever. 

However, my objections are not with the violence (Cameron’s environmentalist commentary is heavy-handed but well-intentioned). My biggest issue is that the film can’t help but make the bad guy’s seem kinda cool. The music swells triumphantly as they fire their harpoons, they quip and woo-hoo like Marvel heroes, and their crab-shaped submarines transform into Lego figurines right before your eyes.

And it all looks incredible.

And thus, there is the essential problem that keeps an obviously good movie from being truly great. The filmmakers can’t set aside their enthusiasm for technology (cinematic or imagined) and focus on the emotional core of its story. The actors, writers, and everyone involved ABSOLUTELY have the ability to make a statement. But they’re slightly more interested in making and selling toys. And that’s just a bit of a shame.

Good for: special-effects enthusiasts & lovers of the third dimension

Best line: “Spare yourself the shame of being useless.”

Final Grade: B

#avatar #avatar way of water #way of water #james cameron #zoey saldana #lego #movies #sci fi #jurassic park

[mrnerdteacher]

Don’t Believe the Haters: 7 Spoiler-Free Reasons Why “Fallen Kingdom” is the Best Jurassic Sequel

When you think about it, this isn’t exactly impressive. For 25 years Universal has failed time and time again to recapture the lightning-in-a-bottle magic of Steven Spielberg’s original film based on Michael Crichton’s science-fiction horror masterpiece. And while Fallen Kingdom still doesn’t dethrone the first entry in the series (would that even be possible?), it is far and away the best attempt yet. 

Here are 7 Spoiler-Free Ways that Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom Recreates What the Original Jurassic Park Did Right

#1) It’s About Dinosaurs, Not Monsters

While Jurassic Park is still probably the scariest entry in the series, some of its most iconic moments feature not an ounce of danger for the protagonists. Dr. Grant teaching children how to feed a brachiosaur or Dr. Sadler treating a sick triceratops really helped you feel empathy for these creatures and view them as animals outside of their natural habitat. Fallen Kingdom features several great, heart-wrenching moments where you will once again wish Jurassic Park was real so you could see these beautiful, wondrous creatures up-close. Plus, it has more critters than any previous entry, so that’s a plus.

#2) It Has the Best Visual Effects of any Entry Thus Far

“Do you remember the first time you ever saw a dinosaur?” Bryce Dallas Howard asks in this movie’s trailer, inviting the adult audience to think back to the summer of 1993, when you first heard that iconic John Williams theme as a dinosaur stomped into frame. The groundbreaking combination of animatronics and computer-rendered visuals cemented in our collective subconscious precisely what dinosaurs looked like in real-life (even if they should actually be more feathered). Fallen Kingdom wisely brings back this tradition, using a combination of detailed puppets and CG to make a film that didn’t feature so much as a single shot that pulled me out of the action. And there are some WILD set pieces to animate, so major kudos to Industrial Light and Magic.

Keep reading

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Deadpool 2: Not the Hero We Deserve, But the One We Need Right Now……...Yes, really.

So, who do you think is ultimately the most responsible for all the carnage Thanos wrought on the universe in Infinity War? Starlord? Strange?

No, the real answer is, of course, us. The audience. We bought enough movie tickets and bluray discs to propel his 18 movie story arc to conclusion. Without us, the Mad Titan would be the same C-list comic book villain he was a decade ago, but thanks to our endless ability to watch one interchangeable, flavorless movie after another, the MCU has ballooned to the point of ineffectual absurdity.

Infinity War is the comic book movie we deserve.

But Deadpool 2 is, without a doubt, the one we need.

Here are 4 Spoiler-Free Ways Deadpool 2 Breaks the Mold and Keeps Comic Movies from Getting Stale

#1) It is… SOMEHOW… a Movie about Non-Violence

That’s not to say Deadpool shies away from its hard-R rating, but rather that the most important story beats revolve around the impact violence has on both the perpetrators and its victims. It is a movie with bullets and limbs flying in every possible direction, but unlike the first entry in this series, the gore is never the point. And without giving too much away, it is one of the FEW comic movies I can think of in which the central conflict isn’t solved simply by overpowering the villain in a battle to the death. Sometimes, life is just more important.

#2) It is Character-Driven, Not Plot-Driven

This is crucial when compared to the other blockbuster in theaters starring Josh Brolin, but the story in DP2 revolves around character flaws and struggles. It is about making the right choices when the world gives you no incentive to do so, and it’s about men coping with great pain at all different stages of life. And most importantly, characters have arcs and development. Sure it often errs on the wrong side of corny, but at Deadpool 2’s worst it’s still a far more compelling story than any farfetched premise about magic rocks from outer space. Here, the emotions felt way more real and relatable, even if the scriptwriters come across as tryhards every now and then.

#3) The Jokes Are Fresh, Clever… and Surprisingly Topical

Where the first Deadpool movie was a bit of a bro-fest celebration of machismo and gun porn, Deadpool 2 grew up with (or in spite of) its audience. The snide, fourth-wall breaking fuckery is still rampant, and honestly all the self-referential jokes about the comic book movie complex got a little tiresome, but in addition everything from Jared Kushner to the #metoo movement gets a nod or the middle-finger. Elaborate setups have side-splitting punchlines you’ll miss if you’re easily distracted, and personally this is my favorite type of comedy: one that doesn’t talk down to the audience. Plus, the studio did my FAVORITE thing ever and changed the punchlines from the trailers, leading to way more guffaws than I even expected.

#4) Deadpool is Clearly Not Straight, and That’s Great

During the press junket for DP1, the writers gleefully confirmed that Deadpool was pansexual in their new movie, yet upon release there was barely any mention of this; just one sex joke directed at a guy, as well as the hilarious but arguably unrelated “International Women’s Day” Strapon scene, which Wade didn’t even seem to enjoy.

Fast forward to May 2018, and Deadpool obviously, unabashedly pushes boundaries in terms of not only sexuality but gender-roles. His relationship with Morena Baccarin’s Vanessa is just as touching and believable as before, but now he spends a lot of screen time attempting to romance someone with a bit more Y chromosomes. I won’t spoil the fun by revealing who it is, but whether it’s the romantic soundtrack or the 80’s rom-com references, it’s obvious Deadpool’s magically healing body longs for more than just the touch of a woman. Plus, as brief as it was, the Deadpool in drag scene was pure magic.

Why does this matter? Is the movie better because he’s pan and not straight? Not necessarily, but it does help the movie communicate an overall tone of inclusion and the value of very different people working together for a greater good. While the early acts can feel a little male centric, by the time the credits roll, Deadpool 2’s ensemble cast contains players of all ages, genders, sexualities, nationalities, and perhaps most surprisingly, body types.

It’s the bro-iest movie I’ve ever seen about love, empathy, and the power that can be harnessed when people respond to tragedy with kindness. And I can’t believe I’m still writing about Deadpool 2, but here we are.

FINAL GRADE: A-

[mrnerdteacher]

Into the Splatter-verse

[mrnerdteacher]

The Chilling Twist in "Us" That You Probably Missed

“Us” is a lot of things. It’s a tense home invasion thriller. It’s an action comedy. It’s a Black Mirror-esque sci fi parable. But first and foremost, it reminded me of an art film. Director Jordan Peele and Cinematographer Mike Gioulakis frame one memorable shot after another to weave an unsettling, surreal atmosphere that’s more “Rosemary’s Baby” than “The Purge”, despite how “Us” is being advertised. And so, like any piece of art, some of Us’s deeper meaning is layered, hiding in plain sight but invisible unless you ruminate on it further (and ruminate you most definitely will). So, in case you missed it, here is the most chilling and clever twist in “Us” that no one seems to be talking about. In case it wasn’t obvious, spoilers ahead.

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[mrnerdteacher]

That One Scene in “Joker” That Changes Everything

Let’s get this out of the way right now.

“Joker” is a revelation.

It’s artful, gut-wrenching, thought-provoking, darkly funny, and utterly compelling. It’s everything the Marvel Cinematic Universe is not. No action-figures will be sold. No Disney rides will be planned. There won’t even be any crossovers or teases to a sequel. I felt downright bad for the 8-year old boy in my audience (whose father clearly had made a horrible mistake in bringing him). And yet this movie is not only the best comic adaptation ever, it might be the first truly important film based on a comic, period. (Black Panther and Wonder Woman are also high on that list for the ceilings they helped shatter)

You can tell from the very first shot, which lingers on the titular character’s face for an uncomfortably long time, that this movie is going to be something new. In nearly every frame it defies your expectations, and in every plot beat flirts with controversy and political commentary, unabashedly making a myriad of powerful statements, most of which center around America’s treatment of the mentally troubled.

And it is in that vein that the movie has its greatest power, including a scene that I think should be studied in every film class (except I’m not being sarcastic). I understand if you leave now. If you haven’t seen the movie, you think I’m being pretentious. But those who have will likely understand my awe and glee. And it all starts with this moment.

It’s early in the film, but I’ll hide it behind a spoiler tag since I am really glad I wasn’t ruined on this INSANE twist.

SPOILERS AHEAD.

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[mrnerdteacher]

One Scene in “Birds of Prey” Encapsulates Everything Great About the Entire Film

And if you ask me, that’s a lot of greatness to capture.

The scene I am referring to takes place roughly halfway through the 2 hour runtime. Our titular heroine has been fighting her way through a police station when all of a sudden all the cells (containing violent convicts, ofcourse) pop open…

… and then the fire sprinklers turn on.

Margot Robbie gives the camera an exasperated sigh and then proceeds to kick ALL kinds of ass.

To the uninformed, it’s just one more amazing and playful fight scene in a movie filled with amazing and playful fight scenes. But taken in context, it’s something so much more.

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[mrnerdteacher]

The Best Movie You Slept on in 2022

"Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile" is your next digital rental. You're welcome.

If Paddington 2 was so underrated that it garnered a shout-out in Nic Cage's "The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent", then Sony Picture's "Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile" is a similarly overlooked gem of family film-making. Shawn Mendes and the musical geniuses behind "The Greatest Showman" have put together a stirring 106 minutes of song, dance, and sentimentality that dares you not to crack a smile. While it certainly treads predictable ground, it's hard to be cynical about a movie that teaches young viewers to embrace change and your fellow man. Or reptile.

Good for: fans of musicals, cute animals, and Javier Bardem

Best line: "Who wants to be safe? We are here to live, and living is a dangerous business." Final Grade: B+

#lyle lyle crocodile #sony #shawn mendes #javier bardem #music #musical #paddington #nicolas cage #review #movies #greatest showman

[mrnerdteacher]

4 Spoiler-Free Reasons Why “New Mutants” is So Good, It’s Actually Kinda Upsetting

In Josh Boone’s “The New Mutants”, Illyana Rasuputin is a character with the unique mutant power to access limbo: a magical realm between existence and nothingness.

And on Friday night, at the Mission Tiki Drive-In in Montclair, California, I too accessed limbo by watching this movie, which after going unreleased for over a year started to feel trapped in “development hell.” But I am both relieved and frustrated to tell you, this movie is good. It’s really, really good actually. And that’s kinda terrible. Let me explain...

1) The Pandemic Dilemma

Much has been said about this first reasoning, but a franchise movie being released in a time when it could literally be deadly to gather in large numbers is irresponsible at best. For over a decade, our nerd brains have been wired to loyally check out the newest installment of these ongoing stories and to avoid spoilers like the plague, even though there is now a literal plague to avoid. Sure, the X-Men franchise is much more disjointed than, say, the MCU, but if “The New Mutants” leads to just one reluctant fan contracting the virus, that’s one too many. Not to mention the fact that COVID has undoubtedly robbed this movie of the box office it deserved.

2) The Diversity Controversy

As a teacher “returning” to work, my plate has been plenty full as of late, and as such I went into TNM blind, knowing next to nothing about the film, the titular comics, or the “white washing” controversy surrounding Henry Zaga’s portrayal of the fiery mutant Sunspot. Apparently the origin story in the comics centered around ‘Berto’ being the target of a hate crime, and removing that aspect of the character and casting someone ‘more white’ is the exact opposite of what our country needs right now (especially for a movie released on the tragic night trailblazing actor Chadwick Boseman passed away from colon cancer). But I also can’t help but be discouraged by the fact that this blunder will undoubtedly overshadow the representation happening throughout the rest of the film. The main protagonist is Native American, and her heritage and prejudices she’s endured factor heavily into the plot. The film also takes huge strides towards LGBTQ representation in super hero movies, and even though the Sunspot character should have been presented as half-black like in the comics, I still can’t name a single other Brazilian superhero. Period. That’s gotta count for something...

3) The Upcoming Disney-fication of the X-Men Universe

I couldn’t put my finger on it, but for some reason I do not share the general public’s excitement for the inevitable day when mutants are rolled into the MCU. This movie finally made me realize why: I really LIKE the X-Men film franchise the way it is. For all its blunders, it takes chances that the MCU never has. It gives us movies like Deadpool and Logan… and The New Mutants. Without spoiling too much, this ‘spooky not scary’ horror movie gets real dark with its themes, most of them centering around the idea that adults with authority often do truly terrible things with that responsibility. At the end of the day, that gives this film more emotional gravitas and social importance than the VAST majority of super hero cinema, and I just don’t trust Disney to have that kinda guts with their bottom line. I prefer movies with something to say over movies that are mostly interested in selling plastic toys, but I digress...

4) It’s a Coming of Age Tale, but We’re All Robbed of the Pay-off

Director Josh Boone has recently gone public with his plans for a New Mutant trilogy: whereas this movie most closely resembles a haunted house story, the sequel would have been an alien invasion flick, and the closer a supernatural, apocalyptic battle against demons. But check your hype at the door, because the reason Boone is being so transparent is because he’s been told these movies will never happen. And they deserve to. 

New Mutants isn’t a perfect movie by any means, but it’s a tightly crafted, creative, compelling narrative featuring complex, likable characters. It’s an “X-Men” movie that finally realized the premise of vulnerable teenagers coming into horrifyingly powerful abilities is interesting all on it’s own. Sonic the Hedgehog is no longer 2020’s best theatrical release; this is definitely a movie worth seeing (safely). FINAL GRADE: A

#the new mutants #X-men #marvel #MCU #marvel cinematic universe #magik #sunspot #josh boone #Disney #LGBTQA #lgbtq #black lives matter #chadwick boseman #black panther #pandemic #covid #xcu #deadpool #Logan #white washing #sonic the hedgehog #2020

[mrnerdteacher]

One Scene in “Birds of Prey” Encapsulates Everything Great About the Entire Film

And if you ask me, that’s a lot of greatness to capture.

The scene I am referring to takes place roughly halfway through the 2 hour runtime. Our titular heroine has been fighting her way through a police station when all of a sudden all the cells (containing violent convicts, ofcourse) pop open…

… and then the fire sprinklers turn on.

Margot Robbie gives the camera an exasperated sigh and then proceeds to kick ALL kinds of ass.

To the uninformed, it’s just one more amazing and playful fight scene in a movie filled with amazing and playful fight scenes. But taken in context, it’s something so much more.

You see, 2016’s Suicide Squad took a LOT of flak upon its release. Its script was weak. Its characters were unlikable. Its plot was muddled and uncompelling. And perhaps most notably, it went out of its way to sexualize nearly all the females on set.

Katana wears a crop top for some reason. Enchantress basically wears nothing but rotting chains. And Harley Quinn… well, we all remember that Halloween. Booty shorts. Fishnets. Crazy heels. Here’s what Robbie had to say about it in a “New York Times” interview. “No, I don’t like wearing that. I’m eating burgers at lunchtime, and then you go do a scene where you’re hosed down and soaking wet in a white T-shirt, it’s so clingy and you’re self-conscious about it.”

None of this hurt Suicide Squad’s box office take one bit because 2016 will forever be remembered as a dark and frightening time by all the decent people of the world, but I digress…

Largely under Robbie’s influence, “Birds of Prey” picked up a female director, ditched the infamously toxic Jared Leto, and made a point to make a movie about women, by women, and largely for women. The result is like an exhilarating blend between the Avengers and the #MeToo movement, and I’m here for it. So when those sprinklers turned on, Robbie was directly addressing the male gaze… and rolling her eyes at it. Her opponents who rush her down are all men in strangely erotic clothing (tight pants, glistening muscles, animal masks?) and Harley proceeds to shatter their kneecaps, metaphorically eviscerating their sexual aggression and leaving the days of Suicide Squad whimpering on the floor.

And never once does the camera zoom in on her ass or her tits. There are far more important things to focus on.

#birds of prey #Harley Quinn #margot robbie #metoo #feminist #DC comics #dceu #batman #joker #2016 #movies

[mrnerdteacher]

5 Spoiler-Free Reasons Why “Sonic the Hedgehog” is So Good It Will Give you Hope for 2020

I can hardly believe I’m saying these words, but I genuinely loved the live-action Sonic the Hedgehog movie starring Jim Carrey, Cyclops, and Jean Ralphio from Parks and Rec.

And if the 9.2 User Rating on Metacritic is any indication, I am far from alone. Here were 5 times I was pleasantly surprised/downright impressed by what is arguably the best live-action video game film to date. Not the highest bar, mind you, but a bar nonetheless.

Jim Carrey Chews Up More Scenery than His Robot Minions

From his very first scene, it is obvious Carrey is having a blast, and the audience is right there with him. He’s genuinely manic and funny in a way he hasn’t been since the 90’s, and he somehow manages to evoke both fear, laughter, and pity all in the same line of dialogue. It is no exaggeration to say he basically carries the film (pun intended).

The Expendable Human-Side Characters Are Actually Likable

Sure, no one showed up at the theatre to see James Marsden. But you know what? I liked the Donut Lord. And I definitely thought the surprise (for me) appearance of Adam Pally as the overwhelmed deputy was consistently hilarious. Even the generic army colonel gets a big laugh by the time the credits roll. Whoever wrote the “supporting” characters in “King of the Monsters” should take note. Enough Easter Eggs to Keep the Fandom Happy

Whereas Detective Pikachu bombarded fans with one hidden reference after another, Sonic took the wise choice of putting them in plain sight while never drawing attention to them. While I won’t spoil some of the more fun “finds”, keep your eyes and ears open: love for the Sonic franchise is slathered all over the brisk 90 minute run.

It Actually is ABOUT Something While this movie won’t be winning many awards (except for probably cleaning up at Kids’ Choice), I was pleasantly surprised to find the screenwriters using this script as a platform to make a statement. It’s never blatant enough to irritate either side of the aisle, but it’s hard not to notice that this movie has an empathetic agenda. Even from the trailers, it’s obvious that Sonic is quite literally an immigrant fleeing government drones that seek to imprison and exploit him. I see what you did there.

It’s Nice to Look At Finally, it has to be said what a lifesaving move it was to redesign the titular character. While I personally believe that the whole “original trailer” debacle was an ingenious case of viral marketing, the Sonic in this movie is both lovable and formidable; a feat that not even Sega can pull off consistently. Yes, there are a few moments where the new effects feel rushed, but overall, this is a loop-de-loop that Paramount lands gracefully. Bring on the sequels! FINAL GRADE: A-

#sonic #sonic the hedgehog #jim carrey #Sega #movie #video games

[mrnerdteacher]

Humbugs Aside, Here are 27 Spoilery Things to Appreciate About “The Rise of Skywalker”

It’s easy to get swept up in negativity, so now that I have my gripes with the movie out of the way, here are all the reasons I actually enjoyed the new Star Wars movie. All 27 of them, roughly in order of appearance.

The Emperor’s New Groove- the strobe effect on his ancient face was legit TERRIFYING

Rey’s Training- It’s subtle, but later in the movie you can see her using moves she actually practiced

Squad Goals: Aka, every shot with Finn, Poe, Rey, and Chewie in the cockpit of the Falcon

Rey Heals the Worm- It makes you realize how mean the o.g. trilogy is to random animals

Carrie Fisher, All the Carrie Fisher- A remarkable job of making her feel missed without being missed

That Hallway Shot Where Stormtroopers Keep Dying into Frame- An iconic moment of cinematography

The Kite Festival- Loved everything about this scene. The colors. The people. Threepio’s jokes. :-)

Lando’s Back in Disguise- He’s still got it.

The Infamous Tug of War Scene- Glad this wasn’t Chewie’s actual death, because it just felt so cool!

Babu Frik- Does anyone NOT love this guy?

Wiping Threepio’s Memory- It was simultaneously sad, touching, and hilarious. Loved all of it.

Rey and Kylo’s Long Distance Lightsaber Fight- the beans spilling on HER floor was just awesome

Hux for Days- I have always loved this character, so him becoming a traitor out of spite. HILARIOUS.

The Ruins of the Old Death Star- I always wondered where pieces of that thing fell…

Sith Rey’s Clicky-Clacky Lightsaber- A mean fake-out, but I still want the toy. Like, right now.

Kylo Shanked- Leia’s intervention, followed by Rey’s selflessness saves Ben! That’s the power of love!

More Ex-Stormtroopers- Loved the concept that Finn is not alone (even if this should have been Rose)

Han’s Force Spirit- The parallelism with this scene and Han’s death was beautiful and moving

Luke’s Force Spirit- Some say too many force spirits, but I loved this scene too!

Leia’s Training- Nice to finally confirm what expanded universe novels always knew…

Chewie Crying at Leia’s Death- You can feel his heart-breaking loneliness. He’s all that’s left. :’-(

Not a Fleet, Just People- Lando leading a TRUE resistance was great payoff for Last Jedi’s final scene

I am all the Jedi- The voices of every Jedi character (even from the tv shows) gave me chills

Dat Kiss- Shut up. It was beautiful.

Ben Becomes One with the Force- So Rey doesn’t end up married and “happily ever after.”

Rey Skywalker- Taking a name is so much more noble than being born into it. Brave, movie.

That final shot of the Twin Suns- Someone get me a poster of this, stat!

 So can a movie really be “bad” if it has 27 lovable moments? That’s an average of one smile every five minutes. Happy life day, everyone.

#star wars #rise of skywalker #kylo ren #rey #Disney #the rise of skywalker #christmas #life day

[mrnerdteacher]

5 Spoiler-Filled Ways “Rise of Skywalker” is the Last Jedi Remake Neck-beards Demanded

“The goal is to not make one half of the fandom happy over the other, it is to make a film that the fandom in general as a whole enjoys. “

These words were taken from the manifesto posted on Remakethelastjedi.com (which somehow never managed to produce a film despite getting over $417 MILLION dollars “pledged” towards the effort (lol).

It is very telling that nowhere on the site does it mention anything about artistic integrity. Or communicating a theme. Or even quality movie making (cinematography, acting, dialogue, etc). Because the Last Jedi meets all those criteria, actually.  The entire crux of the argument against the previous film is “Star Wars belongs to the fans, and you didn’t give all the fans what they wanted, so we’re upset.”

It is therefore pretty deflating to watch “Rise of Skywalker” make so many efforts to undo the brave and controversial changes Rion Johnson made to the “Star Wars formula.” If ever there was a movie to prove Martin Scorcese right, this is it. Not only does this movie refuse to “Let the past die” (as Kylo Ren so eloquently put it), it figuratively and literally resurrects every tired old trope that has made Star Wars such a predictable franchise over the last dozens or so films. Here, submitted for your disapproval, are the “fixes” JJ Abrams made to “The Last Jedi”, despite never actually being broken in the first place.

1) This movie needs a Vader, dammit I love the moment in The Last Jedi when Kylo Ren smashes his stupid dollar-store-knockoff Vader cosplay helmet in a fit of rage. That was the precise moment in which I could tell this film was going to do something different. The villain in this story was going to have a face. And a personality. And be an actual character. But no, said JJ. Make the bad guys literally glue it back together. We need to sell some Halloween costumes, dammit.

2) The Universe Shouldn’t Feel Too Large

Perhaps my favorite plot twist of TLJ was in regards to Rey’s parents: they weren’t anyone special. They were not a Skywalker. Or a Sith lord. Or Jar-Jar Binks’ babysitters. They were just selfish jerks who abandoned their child. But in that pain lies a powerful message: you are more than your heredity. And you determine your own destiny. But no, said JJ. Make her a long lost child of Palpatine. And literally call the previous script a lie. Because a story that takes place across an entire galaxy should really only focus on the same five people. 3) Mysticism is Really, Really Important. Like, SO Important. I loved the moment in TLJ when Yoda burns the “sacred texts” that Luke had been protecting for decades. It was such a fun reminder that belief and spirituality matter very little if they are not followed up by action; particularly, brave and altruistic action. But in case you were one of the few who were actually upset by Yoda disrespecting a relic you never knew existed 20 minutes prior, Rise of Skywalker gives you plenty fancy magic items and abilities to read about on Wookieepedia. Treasure maps in the shape of conveniently found cutlery. Weird diamonds that point the way toward evil, like Captain Jack’s compass. Strange underground rituals that have apparently been destined for a millennia but that can ALSO be changed on the fly to fit the needs of the movie’s laborious run-time. It all comes across like an Indiana Jones movie, and not one of the good ones.

4) Characters Should be Simple and Easy to Predict

Luke tossing his own lightsaber into the ocean. A polarizing moment, but one I adored. It showed me that in this version of Star Wars, people change. They’re flawed. And they don’t take EVERYTHING seriously ALL THE TIME. They are, to put it simply, people. But in Rise of Skywalker, the galaxy far, far away is returned to simpler times. The villain is an evil wizard who wants to do evil because he’s evil. The hero is a symbol of unwavering good who never, ever makes the wrong or selfish choice. The mentor characters are wise and chaste, and the lovable scoundrels have ex-girlfriends on distant planets who are so salty he broke their hearts. It’s classic Star Wars, alright. (aka, kinda boring)

5) Cram in as Many References as Possible

Perhaps the biggest misstep of the Star Wars franchise is the oft-repeated mistake of thinking that establishing connections to beloved narratives is more important than being memorable or original. So we got characters like Jango Fett (totally devoid of personality) and ridiculous explanations for how Han Solo got his name. The Last Jedi was a deeply weird but wholly fresh story, with a strange animal-rights sub-plot and a final battle that didn’t actually take place. But if that was too unfamiliar for you, JJ Abrams is here to throw so many winks and knowing nods at the fandom that they couldn’t POSSIBLY find something to complain about. The number of inside jokes clouding the script are almost too many to count.

6) Be Woke, but not Too Woke

Just to make sure JJ Abrams didn’t lose the new Star Wars fans who were actually excited to see the series defy gender norms, RoS makes a lot of strange attempts at being progressive, but never in the forefront. Half the Stormtroopers have female voices. A new planet of peaceful allies has decidedly Muslim influences. And then there’s that lesbian kiss.But none of these elements are ever important, and are kept just enough on the sidelines that the far right audience can choose to ignore it. Like “Beauty and the Beast” and “Avengers: Endgame,” this movie wants you to think it’s forward-thinking, but its not brave enough to prove it.

And in case you are now feeling the need to “strike me down,” let me end by saying this: I actually enjoyed Rise of Skywalker. Once I realized it was going to be a pretty dumb movie (about five minutes in), I was able to sit back and enjoy the big, loud, occasionally funny, often emotional spectacle. I just wish the good movie that could have been hadn’t been force choked to death by the collective clammy fist of the Star Wars subreddit. 

Oh well. At least there’s one more episode of The Mandalorian...

#star wars #rise of skywalker #kylo ren #rey #jj abrams #rian johnson #Disney #the last jedi #the mandolarian

[mrnerdteacher]

They Say When you Can’t Hear a Bomb Drop If It’s Right Above You: A Spoiler-Free Bombshell Review

In the very first scene of Bombshell, the audience is walked through the layout of the Fox News Building. We are shown where the studios are in relation to the writer’s room. We get to see the decor of the executive offices and the elevators that lead to them. We are shown such things to establish one very important fact: this script was written with intimate knowledge of what goes on behind the scenes at Fox News.

And it’s not pretty. However, as someone who is STILL getting in intense online arguments defending the all-female Ghostbusters reboot, there was very little chance I was going to dislike a movie about rising up against a system that seeks to objectify women. But what I didn’t expect was how much this movie made me empathize with people on the far right. It doesn’t need to be said that this is one of the most polarizing time in our nation’s recent history. But after seeing Bombshell, I am reminded that after Trump eventually leaves office, we will still need to find a way to coexist with the 40% of the country that still loves him. And those people are not Stormtroopers or Nazis or video game villains (despite how they behave at rallies). They are people. People who have DRASTICALLY different values than me, but people who have ups and down, triumphs and tears. Early in the movie, Margot Robbie’s fictional news writer Kayla Pospisil defends Fox New’s zealous pandering to the far right as “balancing the national conversation.” That was the first time in my life I ever heard a defense of Fox News that I could actually understand philosophically, even if I didn’t agree with it. Charlize Theron’s surreally accurate portrayal of Megyn Kelly (a woman I grew up hating) made me see her as someone who was intelligent, strong, and willing to fight for her beliefs and her fellow woman. I was even moved by John Lithgow’s revolting performance as sexual abuser Roger Ailes, for while I despised his actions, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy every time he derided his own slovenly, half-crippled appearance.

It’s very easy to make an argument against the far right, but it’s tricky to do so without abandoning empathy for them. And that’s why Bombshell is more than one of the best movies I’ve ever seen; it’s also one of the most important. FINAL GRADE: A+

#bombshell #Fox #fox news #ghostbusters #ghostbusters 2016 #Charlize Theron #megyn kelly #MARGOT ROBBIE #roger ailes #nicole kidman #movies #alt right #persist #resist #feminism #feminist

[mrnerdteacher]

Frozen 2 is a Lot of Good Movies, but Not the One Gotham Needs Right Now

You’d think I made a typo in my title, there, but hear me out.

A sequel to Frozen has been in the works for years, but Disney kept pumping the brakes until they found a story that made sense as a follow-up to what was literally the highest grossing animated film of all time. And while Frozen 2 had 1.2 billion-dollar-sized shoes to fill, I’m happy to say that this sequel is enjoyable and undeniably high quality, even if Disney stopped just shy of MAKING FROZEN GREAT AGAIN.

To wit, Frozen 2 falls a bit short of the original in almost every way: its story is less original, its songs less interesting, and its overall execution less impactful from start to finish. It also borrows liberally from a lot of other animated classics. It’s plot is a little bit Pocahontas mixed with Moana, as Elsa feels the call to explore the unknown and finds herself suddenly sharing her world with a culture not her own. Visually it takes cues from How to Train your Dragon and Tangled (again), and its story structure focusing on harnessing the different elemental powers of nature has been done over and over again, ad nauseum.

None of that is to say Frozen 2 is a bad movie. It’s really quite good. Olaf the snowman is even more hilarious this time around, the art director’s color palette is bold and visually captivating, the empowering feminist slant of the franchise holds strong without being ham-fisted, and its themes of perseverance and moral responsibility are poignant and worth learning. But when it comes to its most important piece of messaging, Frozen 2 punts.

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD

To elaborate, the major story arc in Frozen 2 revolves around a bordering tribe of shamans called the Northuldra that have been cut off from the kingdom of Arendelle by an impenetrable wall of magic fog. Some distrust their exotic ways and see them as threatening, as the woodland people are largely blamed for a bloody conflict that caused a rift between the two kingdoms decades prior.

If you aren’t already thinking about our country’s own “struggles” with “immigration”, Frozen 2 takes it a step further. As the story stumbles to its mystical climax, we learn that the militaristic (at least in comparison) nation of Arendelle built a massive dam to cut off the Northuldra’s access to the powers of nature. However, when it was constructed, the people were told that the huge stone wall was a gift, and would usher in a new era of peace and prosperity. But, as the movie puts it, “It was all a trick.” As such, the only way for Anna to save the day is to tear it all down, even if that means putting your own people at risk. As it turns out, dividing the world is always more dangerous than sharing it in the long run.

For better or for worse, Frozen 2 never puts this messaging front and center. Xenophobia is communicated through only side comments, and conflicts between two “warring” tribes take a backseat to much safer plot elements such as reindeer singing about heartache. One can almost hear the discontented grumbling of Disney focus groups trying to make sure this movie doesn’t alienate the wallets of the 40-45% of this country that still want Trump in office.

If there is one moral to the story of Frozen 2, it’s this: Do the next right thing. I think I know how Elsa and Anna would apply that lesson next November. I just wish they had been brave enough to say so a little louder. FINAL GRADE: B+

#frozen #frozen 2 #Disney #olaf #pocahontas #tangled #how to train your dragon #idina menzel #resist #Trump #maga #2020 #liberal

[mrnerdteacher]

Every “Universal Studios Hollywood: Halloween Horror Nights 2019” Maze, Ranked

This year Universal has put together a varied and entertaining set of mazes, and although it has more than ever before, the cracks are starting to show as the park attempts to pack more and more people into its biggest event. Here are all the mazes, ranked from worst to best.

Note: My friends and I purchased the front-of-the-line passes, and even though we went on a Sunday night, we still would not have been able to complete every maze without it. Expensive, but the only way to get the full experience.

Honorable Mention: All Hallow’s Evil Not a maze, but rather an outdoor enclosed scare zone that is harvest and autumnal theme. Some great costumes and a cool premise.

Dishonorable Mention: Toxic Tunnel

In years past, a short tram ride took you to remote parts of the lower backlot. Now, you hoof it on foot for about a quarter mile, walking through a wide-open tunnel filled with strobe lights and rejects from the Toxic Avenger. It’s as annoying as it sounds.

On to the list!

#10 The Curse of Pandora’s Box Easily the worst maze of the night, the designers attempted to create a sense of chaos by contrasting dark hallways with neon colors, but the costumes felt generic and the scares non-effective.

#9 The Walking Dead Attraction

Familiarity is the enemy of this maze, but if you’ve never done it before, it makes a good first impression. I just wish they would add something new, or at least increase the number of scare actors during HHN.

#8 Stranger Things 2 & 3

The surprise flop of the night, this maze at times had a queue that was 4 hours long. But once you finally get inside, you are treated to the same easily telegraphed jump scare about 8 times (not an exaggeration). There are some nice set pieces, but overall it lacked wows and scares.

#7 Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man Nothing technically wrong with this one, but it failed to create many memorable moments. If you know the story of either character, you know exactly what to expect, and the maze delivers on that promise and little else. (Note: the finale in which the monsters literally jump off the screen was pretty damn clever).

#6 House of 1000 Corpses

This maze originally made its debut years ago, and while this year’s iteration delivered on tension and scares, it was missing several elements from its original incarnation. A thrill, but a slight step down from its former glory.

#5 Creepshow

This maze had an uphill battle, as the original film is slightly obscure and the new series hasn't been released yet. Despite these limitations, it delivered several effective scares and featured a well-developed premise.

#4 Killer Klowns from Outer Space

This maze, perhaps better than any other, authentically recreates iconic moments from its titular film (even before you enter the maze proper). The scare actors also wore full-body costumes that were imposing due to size alone. One complaint though: enough with the squirt guns!

#3 GhostbustersAs a life-long fan, I thought this one would take the cake, and it was indeed quite good. However, some missed opportunities and an over-reliance on static figures kept it from soaring to the #1 spot. Spooky, not scary, but very very fun.

#2 Us

It starts with an impressive, full-size facade at the entrance, and from there the immersion goes even deeper. I wondered how Universal would convey the terror of a clone attack, and their delivery is truly one of their better tricks; instead of giving scare actors masks of Lupita Nyong’o, they hired a dozen or so women who look remarkably like her. The end result is the feeling that the scissor wielding psychopath really is everywhere. And their eyes will haunt you all the way home.

#1 Holidayz in Hell

The surprise hit of the night, this brand new original maze is a concept that I have seen attempted before: holidays run amok. However, what sets this maze apart is the amount of thought and creativity that went into it. From “champagne bubbles” that rained from the sky to the simulated fireworks, this maze kept surprising me. My favorite part, however, was the end. You think the maze is over, when all of a sudden you realize that the final part of the maze IS out in the open streets. And it’s a mad dash for safety through a gauntlet of killer Christmas gifts. Oh what fun.

#Universal #universal studios #halloween #halloween horror nights #hhn #US #jordan peele #luptia nyong'o #ghostbusters #killer klowns from outer space #creepshow #house of 1000 corpses #rob zombie #frankenstein #wolf man #frankenstein meets the wolf man #stranger things #the walking dead #pandora's box #theme park #tourism #travel #la #l.a. #los angeles #hollywood