#it does help a bit that the cousin in question has outright told me her success is in large part from her father pushing her v hard | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

robininthelabyrinth · 4 years

Note

Hi! If you're doing promts, how about one where gender expectations where inversed: the laws of heritage still follow the male line, but the social expectation is that the sect is under the wife control, and with a strong expectation that there must be a wife - single heirs whose parent die are pushed very strongly for mariage.

“The elders have started talking,” Nie Mingjue said as Lan Xichen poured tea for him. His hands were folded in front of him, fingers tight and knuckles white even though he was in the safety of the Cloud Recesses – Lan Xichen wasn’t sure he’d seen him at anything less than tense since his father was murdered.

It was a good reason to be tense.

“What about?” he asked, since his uncle seemed to already understand and was nodding gravely.

“My marriage,” Nie Mingjue explained. He didn’t drink the tea, which was rude but, again, understandable. “You know my father ruled as sect leader after the death of my mother, and Nie Huaisang’s as well – the wife rules the home, everyone knows that. But all my father’s wives died, and in the end they let him run the sect himself for a while so as to let us grow up untroubled.”

“Unusual, but not unheard of,” Lan Qiren interjected. “I understand he had finally resigned himself to searching for another wife now that you were old enough.”

“He was. And now I’m bereaved of a father, and my heir is my brother – I have the three years of mourning for a father’s death, but then I’ll need to get married.”

Lan Xichen had always thought it was a bit of a strange rule: the idea of growing up in a sect, learning all about it, and then having to hand over control to some stranger from another place, seemed truly absurd. But it had been established as a measure of safety, to prevent war, and it had mostly done it – no one wanted to risk a fight with someone who might in the next generation rule their sect for them – so he supposed his ancestors knew what they were on about.

“Okay,” he said, feeling uncomfortable at the thought of it. Nie Mingjue was only three years older than he was, and while fifteen had once seemed ages away, he knew he wouldn’t be ready for marriage in so short a time. At least Nie Mingjue had three more years before he had to actually do it. “Congratulations?”

Lan Qiren lifted his eyes to the ceiling while Nie Mingjue snorted in pained amusement. “The elders want to set up the engagement now, even if the marriage won’t be finalized until then. And I’m not marrying one of Wen Ruohan’s sons!”

“Certainly not,” Lan Qiren agreed. “It would be inappropriate, given your questions about your father’s death.”

It wasn’t questions, it was outright accusations, but the Lan sect had to keep their neutrality.

Lan Xichen looked between the two of them, the discomfort growing stronger as he realized that Nie Mingjue had come all this way to try to find – to find an alternative. Wen Xu was married already to some distant branch cousin (no one approved, but Wen Ruohan didn’t care), but Wen Chao was the only one who was Lan Xichen’s age, and other than Jiang Yanli, who was already engaged herself, he couldn’t think of any other options that were old enough.

But…while he liked Nie Mingjue very much, they were good friends, Lan Xichen definitely didn’t want to marry him.

Nie Mingjue must have noticed his expression because he shook his head. “You’re the heir,” he reminded Lan Xichen. “You have to stay here to prepare your sect for your wife.”

“Right,” Lan Xichen said, relief flooding him. And then he realized – “Wait. You mean –”

“Wangji is too young to marry now,” Lan Qiren said simply. “But not in three years.”

“I want to ask him first,” Nie Mingjue said before Lan Xichen could say any more. “If he doesn’t agree, I’ll think of something else. But the Lan sect’s support would be very useful right now, so I had to try.”

Lan Xichen thought of the stars in his brother’s eyes every time he looked at Nie Mingjue whenever he came to visit, that old crush of his from childhood not having fully faded away.

“I think,” he said dryly, “that we’ll be able to work something out.”

“You’ll need to marry, of course,” Nie Mingjue said, releasing Lan Xichen from his embrace.

Lan Xichen was still clinging onto Lan Wangji, unbelievably happy in retrospect that his brother had married out before the Wen sect had attacked – he didn’t want to think about what stubborn Lan Wangji would have done, whether he would have insisted on staying and fighting…what they might have done to him.

“What’s that?” he asked.

“Marriage,” Nie Mingjue said. “The word we’ve gotten from Gusu is that your father is in a coma, not dead, but the doctors don’t see much hope, and that means you’ll be sect leader next. With the Lan sect weakened by the Wen attack, it is critical for you to establish an alliance with another sect to help bolster you.”

“In addition to the support you will have from us,” Lan Wangji added, and Nie Mingjue nodded in agreement. They were a good match, it turned out – Lan Wangji’s steadiness was a good balance to Nie Mingjue’s hot temper, they were both highly principled and zealous in their pursuit of justice and righteousness, and it turned out that they were both…passionate.

Very passionate.

Lan Xichen hadn’t needed to know that about his brother.

“Right,” he said, and exhaled. He hadn’t even had time to rest, but there wasn’t time to rest – not with the Wen sect acting the way it was. “So not Nie Huaisang, then.”

He’d toyed with the idea a little – Nie Huaisang had at least something of the right sort of views. The values of the Lan sect were careful contemplation and kindness, and if Nie Huaisang was lacking in the former then he was rich in the latter; someone more martially inclined than him would be miserable in the Cloud Recesses. Besides, that way, Lan Xichen’s children would be cousins to the Nie sect twice over.

But his brother and best friend were right: what he needed now was an alliance.

More than that: he needed to signal to the world that the Lan sect would not be trampled underneath the Wen sect – that it would continue, that it would persist in pursuing its values without hesitation, that it wouldn’t discard its ancestral ways all in favor of something more aggressive.

Marrying a Nie, however mild-tempered, would be the wrong gesture.

“I have an idea, actually,” Nie Huaiang interjected. “Not quite as good as me, of course, but possibly more to your taste.”

Lan Xichen was already running through names in his head, but no one was coming to mind – he would need to do as Nie Mingjue did and ally with a Great Sect rather than a small one, the circumstances required it, but…“Who?”

“The young mistress of the Jiang sect, Jiang Yanli,” Nie Huaisang said promptly.

“But she’s…” Lan Xichen’s voice trailed off.

“Exactly,” Nie Huaisang said, and smiled. “Her engagement was called off, and that means she’s free.”

“She’d be a good fit for you,” Nie Mingjue agreed. “I’ve met her a few times at the Discussion Conferences in Yunmeng: she’s kind and caring, thoughtful, but also insistent when she needs to be.”

“Would the Jiang sect agree? Madame Yu had always intended for her to marry into Lanling Jin, and she was most displeased when the engagement was broken –”

“She gave her husband authority to negotiate in her place, and he used it,” Lan Wangji pointed out. Do not gossip about other people’s families, he meant, and Lan Xichen nodded in acknowledgment of the well-placed chastisement. “She sees the situation as well as we: Qishan Wen against the world, Qinghe Nie against Qishan Wen, and Lanling Jin trying to play both sides...it is not a good look for them. I do not think she will refuse your suit at this time.”

Jiang Yanli, Lan Xichen thought, rolling the thought around in his mouth to savor it. She wasn’t the most beautiful, but he never cared much about that. No, more importantly, she was kind and caring, with a sweet sense of humor – and an excellent cook. All things that would fit very well in at the Cloud Recesses.

“All right,” he said. “How do we do it, given the circumstances?”

“I’ll go to Yunmeng myself,” Nie Mingjue volunteered, and glanced over to Lan Wangji for approval – Lan Wangji nodded. “I would need to anyway, to discuss the state of politics. I’ll bring your suit with me, and if Madame Yu approves, she - and the Jiang sect - will be committed to helping you regain your home.”

“Wouldn’t do to send a bride to a place without one,” Nie Huaisang chimed in, and Lan Wangji nodded again, this time to Lan Xichen.

“Okay,” Lan Xichen said, and smiled. “Let’s ask.”

“Honestly, I think it’ll work out very well,” Lan Xichen told Nie Mingjue, who was pacing again. “Everyone supports it - no one wants the tension between the Jin sect and Nie sect to continue.”

Jiang Yanli chuckled. She was sitting next to him – he had his arm tucked around her shoulders, which they both liked – and she leaned her head against his shoulders. “A-Chen, I think he’s more concerned about his brother’s happiness.”

“Of course he is,” Lan Xichen said. “I was just saying. And anyway, it’ll work out well in that way, too – there’s nothing Nie Huaisang likes more than spending money, and, as the heir to the Jin sect, Jin Zixuan has plenty of that.”

That even got Nie Mingjue to laugh.

“He does like that, I’ll grant you,” he said, settling down next to Lan Wangji. “And underneath his façade of uselessness, he’s actually quite bright – in a contest of scheming wits, I would bet on him over every single one of those treacherous dogs in Lanling.”

“Probably better than me,” Jiang Yanli agreed, looking a bit rueful at the thought of her past engagement. “I would have let them step all over me if I thought it meant we could have some peace.”

Peace was something the Cloud Recesses – now in the process of rebuilding – had in no short supply, and Lan Xichen was pleased that he could offer his beautiful wife exactly what she most desired.

Well, except for the matter of ensuring the safety of Wei Wuxian after he had established himself as Yiling Patriarch, but Nie Mingjue and Lan Wangji’s unexpected offer to have him join their sect as a concubine – an offer that Wei Wuxian had been, reportedly, thrilled to receive – had taken care of that lingering concern.

“Now there’s only A-Cheng left,” she added. “I’m amazed he didn’t get engaged ages ago.”

“Yunmeng Jiang was hurt too badly,” Lan Wangji said, and Nie Mingjue nodded.

“Who would have married him then? The Jiang sect needed to preserve its independence long enough to show that it could even properly host a wife,” he agreed. “It wasn’t like the Cloud Recesses, where the sect was intact, if scattered – he had to rebuild it almost entirely.”

“But who can he marry?” Lan Xichen asked. “If he doesn’t marry one of the Great Sects, he’s at a disadvantage to the rest of us.”

“And there are no children left,” Jiang Yanli said, frowning a little.

“That’s not quite true,” Nie Mingjue said, and shared a glance with Lan Wangji. “We sent him a suggestion a little while ago – a way for him to build ties with the Nie and Jin sects.”

“Nie and Jin?”

“I had a deputy by the name of Meng Yao,” he said. “Now going by Jin Guangyao.”

Lan Xichen brightened. “A-Yao? What a wonderful idea! Do you think he’ll agree?”

“I think Meng Yao would love to be in charge of a sect,” Nie Mingjue said dryly. “He doesn’t have the training for it, of course, since he wasn’t raised inside the sect, but that’s something that can be remedied with a small expansion of the household.”

“Having a concubine must suit you very well, da-ge,” Lan Xichen teased. “Since you’re already recommending it to the rest of us.”

“Not us,” Jiang Yanli said primly, and he pressed a kiss to her cheek in confirmation. “Who were you thinking?”

“Wen Qionglin – one of Dafan Wen, the branch that defected during the war,” Lan Wangji said. “Wei Ying said he helped rescue Jiang Wanyin from the Lotus Pier, so they have a connection already.”

“He has the training, but he’s toothless,” Nie Mingjue opined. “Meng Yao won’t feel threatened by him, and Jiang Wanyin…could probably stand to have two calm people by his side.”

“He could,” Jiang Yanli agreed, a little ruefully.

“It would be good for A-Yao, too,” Lan Xichen said. “I sometimes find he’s a bit better at mimicking gentleness than actually recognizing it, and having someone sweet by his side would make him feel needed…doesn’t Wen Qionglin have an older sister, though? What about her?”

“After marrying Wen Xu, she deserves to have a wife, not be one,” Nie Mingjue opined. “She’s courting a very nice girl from the Jin sect – what’s her name again?”

“Luo Qingyang,” Lan Wangji said, and he looked unusually smug about it. “Also called Mianmian.”

Wait, that Mianmian? The one Lan Wangji had been so irrationally annoyed at for flirting with Wei Wuxian all those years ago?

So much was explained.

“That’ll be good,” he said instead of commenting. “That way we’ll all be one family. Won’t that be wonderful?”

“Until the family reunions, anyway,” Nie Mingjue grumbled.

“Don’t you mean Discussion Conferences?” Jiang Yanli said, lips twitching.

“Oh no…”

#mdzs #lan xichen #nie mingjue #nie huaisang #lan wangji #jiang yanli #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #jin guangyao #wen ning #wen qing #my fic #my fics #happy wife happy life #Anonymous

347 notes · View notes

thranduilsperkybutt · 3 years

Photo

He’s A Phantom 👻

Gif source

Pairings: Daniel Forsythe x MeeMaw!Reader

Warnings: Crack, this was not written seriously at all. Literally ,,,,, just ,,,,, not at all ,,,, meant to be taken seriously.

Word Count: 2,032 words

Reader Gender: MeeMaw

Author: Meg

Summary: MeeMaw sees a ghost... of her past. And also a literal ghost.

A/N: For my lovelies, @karasong and @bb8sworld, who are undoubtedly chomping at the bit to discover just what I meant when I jokingly said I was going to write a MeeMaw!Reader/Daniel fic when we watched The Spirit of Christmas together. Plot twist, I wasn’t joking. I wrote it. 🏃‍♀️ And now you have to read it, mwuahaahahhaaa---

Fingertips running over the bannister at the foot of the staircase, how long has it been since you last came to this place? The wood was old beneath your fingertips, yet looked in far better condition than the wrinkles that sagged at your own skin.

Once, you came here every year. Clockwork, in your youth, your visits had been.

The Inn had been your second home, up until it suddenly wasn’t.

“MeeMaw?” calls the questioning sound of your granddaughter’s voice, lilting upwards as she catches your distant attention, pulling you back from your memories of this place. You look towards her, seeing as much of yourself in her as the man you had eventually married, long after your time spent at this inn.

“Yes, dear?” your voice is familiarly yours, but the years have made you softer, slower, and your voice reflects that. A more relaxed sound, different from the vibrant excitement that had followed you during your days rushing through these halls.

She glances towards the photograph along the wall, “You never told me this place was haunted, MeeMaw.” There’s a laugh in her voice, the kind that comes with someone who doesn’t believe in such things… the kind of tone you had once held, when you’d first come here, all those years ago.

A sigh is in your throat, as you set eyes on him again, pushing your bifocals up your nose to catch sight of the aged photograph that was even older than you were, “Daniel.” Your granddaughter raises a brow at you, when you hum, “Yes, he’s just as I remember him, in this photo.”

“MeeMaw, don’t tell me you believe in that haunted nonsense,” she rolls her eyes at you.

“Don’t be so close-minded, dear. There’s more stories I could tell you of the time I spent with Daniel than would fill our whole trip here.”

“Sure, MeeMaw,” her sarcastic tone proved she didn’t believe you, and as she bent to grab her suitcase at her feet to tote up the stairs, you think you heard something about a nursing home.

Another sigh, as you glance back towards the photograph on the wall, softer, so that none would hear, as you whispered to the spirit, who had been your first love, “It’s been a long time, old friend. Are you still here, I wonder?”

You would find out soon enough, considering Christmas came in thirteen days.

---

You were never supposed to know about him. Back then, he had been the Forsythe family’s most well-kept secret. Henrietta had gone to great lengths to maintain Daniel’s secrecy when the Hollygrove Inn fell into her ownership, but one overzealous friend coming to call unexpectedly three days to Christmas had ruined all that in one fell swoop.

You had been the overzealous friend, if that wasn’t obvious.

Truly, you’d not thought about it whatsoever when you’d jimmied the lock of the front door upon no answer to your knocking, fruit cake in hand to deliver to your bestie, Henrietta.

The very fruitcake which had wound up all over the hardwood floor upon spotting the tall man lounging in the parlor, and the recognition that he was her long-dead cousin. He hadn’t looked a day older than the photographs then, either, which you’d realized before screaming your head off like you’d seen a ghost--- because you had--- which had resulted in him subsequently trapping you in the washroom until Henrietta returned home.

Swearing you to secrecy had been the easy part, but convincing you to set down the fire poker you’d strategically positioned between you and Daniel for the hour of her explanation had been harder.

Part of you felt pity for him, when she’d told you her father had spent the good part of his years trying to find a way to break the curse. The other part of you wondered just what Daniel had done so terribly to earn such a purgatory of these twelve annual days.

That first Christmas, you didn’t find out.

By the second, you found yourself warming to the spirit wandering the halls of your friend’s inn at yule time.

By the third, you wondered if there wasn’t perhaps some way to break the curse yourself.

So, when Henrietta asked you to watch the inn as she traveled across the country to visit her mother’s family for Christmas, you said yes, knowing you were the only option she had. The only other living person outside her family who knew of Daniel’s state.

That Christmas was truly the Christmas that everything changed between you and Daniel.

“I have no need for a keeper,” Daniel had grumbled as you dropped your bag by the door, removing your winter’s gloves to wave at the back of Henrietta’s cab as it pulled past the edge of the lot, down the road, ever away from the inn. Your smile faded somewhat when he all but ordered, “Go home, madam. I’d much prefer my solitude.”

“And what of last Christmas?” you countered, casting a scathing look over your shoulder as you turned to come into the home, closing the door to cut off the nippy air of winter that seeped through your stockings, “You didn’t say such things when Henrietta was spending Christmas with you.”

“Henrietta is family,” was his only explanation.

“You would truly rather spend Christmas alone, than with me?”

Perhaps it was the slight hurt in your voice, as you lingered there in the entryway, making no move to lift your eyes from the floor where you’d fixated against his shoes, or something else. You were still uncertain as to why he let out a huff and moved closer, boots coming into your vision as he bent to grasp your bag.

Nothing was said, other than, “I’ll put it in your room.”

And you could find nothing to say in return as you watched his back ascend the stairs with your suitcase, though a small smile slipped onto your lips at his acceptance of your presence here. Better than an outright refusal.

---

“Sweet Lord!” you jump at your reflection in the mirror upon the wall of the parlor, breaking you from your remembrance of your times spent here. Wrinkles sagged your cheeks, glasses thick and round along your cheekbones, crow’s feet dragging from the corner of your eyes and laugh lines cascading to your chin.

Proof you’d lived, when he had not.

The furniture was mostly different from how it was back then. A few pieces remained of the original antiques, but new mixed with the old of the inn, until it was just as much something you didn’t remember as much as something you did.

Your hand grips the back of the couch. It was reupholstered, but the same one you had sat in when you’d first come to the inn as a girl.

The bones of this place were familiar, calling out to you in a welcome that only you could hear. Recognize.

You wondered if Daniel would be happy or sad to see that you had done as he told you, when you spoke that last time to him. The first time you’d ever done as he had said, had also been the last.

---

The shift had been gradual, from acquaintances to friends to something more than that. You hadn’t realized the change until it was upon you, and you were left clutching your hot chocolate in front of one of the long windows of this inn, snow flurrying beyond it, beckoning the Christmas that would dawn in a matter of hours. Summoning Daniel back to the state he was in for the rest of the year, between existence and not.

“Is it not good?” he asks beside you, looking towards the cup in your hand and the frown settling into your brow.

“No, it’s delicious.”

“Then why do you look so displeased?”

“Tomorrow is Christmas,” you say it soft, barely a whisper, in the hopes that perhaps it will not come to be should you keep it secret, close to your heart, as Daniel had come to be. He stands there simply, waiting for you to continue, to explain, “Tomorrow, you’ll be gone again.”

“As I have these past decades, yes,” Daniel’s head tilts, questioning, but knowing all the same. You wonder if he asks, just to confirm his suspicion, “Why does it bother you, suddenly?”

“You know why it bothers me,” you were undoubtedly pouting, tearing your eyes from the snow building outside, to catch his gaze, and you know he can see the hurt building in your chest. “Maybe, there’s some way to help you. I can come back next year, and---”

“No.”

The single word slices through you, worse than anything he’d ever said. Firm, but soft against his lips, was his rejection. His small statement that would rip you to shreds along the hardwood floor, as thin as the tinsel along the tree in the corner.

“No?” you breathe, a shake in your voice.

Daniel reaches up, brushing his fingertips--- warm, alive, if only for a few hours more--- against your jaw, settling soft and bittersweet against your cheek, “No, I won’t let you waste your life chasing after some curse-breaking miracle as my cousin did before you. I won’t have you tied to this place as I am.”

“But, Daniel, I---”

“Don’t say it,” it was as close to begging as he had ever sounded, and the sound of it is enough to silence you forever. “You can’t. Not when you must leave here tomorrow, and never return. Leave this place, marry, have children, live--- live the life I’ll never be able to give you.” You wanted to tell him that no life would be worth anything without him in it, that you wanted to spend it here, with him, even if it meant only twelve days a year, but he must see the protest in your eyes, because he solidifies his request with, “If not for you, then do it for me. Live, for me.” Tears welling in your eyes, spilling down your cheek silently, as he croons and wipes away the salt and water, “Don’t cry.”

“I’m going to miss you,” is all you can manage through ragged breaths.

“We still have two hours until midnight,” Daniel had breathed, before bending to brush his lips against the watery smudge his thumb had left against your cheek. “Don’t miss me until after then. I want to remember you happy.”

As hard as it was, you push the emotion down, the overwhelming urge to sob your eyes out, knowing this will be the last time you see him. For him. For the first man you’ve ever loved, you can at least keep from crying for two more hours. So you do it.

And force a smile upon your lips, deep breath in as you try to remember him like this, too, smiling down at you, with as much an unspoken confession in his own eyes, “Merry Christmas, Daniel.”

“Merry Christmas.”

When he had said your name then, it had sounded like a prayer. Reverent, desperate.

---

When he says your name now, it’s surprise and disbelief. Sharp, on his tongue, as you turn from the kitchen to catch sight of him standing in the doorway, morning light casting through the curtained window. Your granddaughter has yet to wake, and you smile at the sight of him, just as bittersweet as your last meeting with him had been.

He doesn’t look a day over thirty.

You looked much more than that, now.

“I thought I told you to never come back,” comes from his lips, but a lopsided smile rests there.

“Since when did I ever listen to you?” comes jokingly on the tail of a breathless laugh, “Oh, it has been a while, Daniel.”

He crosses the kitchen in few strides, catching you in the warm embrace of his arms, squeezing gently, “You shall have to tell me all about it.”

“Well, for starters,” you lean back, beaming up at him, “they call me MeeMaw, now.”

He laughed, big and wide and more than you ever remember him doing, “My, you have lived, haven’t you?”

“I have.”

----------

I’m not going to add the taglist because this is so not what any of you signed up for.

#im not even going to bother putting this on my masterlist #nor am i going to tag it seriously #also uhh am i guilty that this is the first thing im posting after a long hiatus #kind of but oh well #daniel forsythe fanfic #the spirit of christmas fanfic #the spirit of christmas meemaw reader insert #author meg #fanfic by me

20 notes · View notes

warrioreowynofrohan · 3 years

Text

The Leithian Reread - Canto VIII (Lúthien in Nargothrond)

(Trigger warning: discussion of attempted rape.)

Lots of things going on in this canto!

The beginning of this canto is the first introduction of Huan to the story - though he must have been in Nargothrond when Beren was there, he is not mentioned there. Throughout the rest of the poetic Leithian, when Hian is mentioned, variations on the phrase “voices like the deeptoned bells / that ring in Valmar’s citadels” will occur; it’s the poetic equivalent of a musical motif.

The action of the chapter begins with Celegorm and Curufin, who are (purportedly) hunting wolves to defend Nargothrond and (in actuality) seeking news of Finrod and Beren. They’ve moved from betrayal and usurpation in their previous appearance to now being willing to personally murder Finrod if they get the chance: Curufin says to his brother that if by chance they come across Finrod and he has a Silmaril - I need declare no more in words; but one by right is thine (and ours), the jewel of light; another may be won - a throne. The eldest blood our house dost own. The last line is interesting in being an outright statement that Celegorm and Curufin are acting in part out of resentment around the kingship. It’s not hard to extrapolate from The Silmarillion’s statement that not all Maedhros’ brothers agreed with his abdication to connect it with Celegorm and Curufin’s later actions in Nargothrond, but I don’t recall if the prose version of the Leithian there explictly makes that connection. The poetic version does.

In the course of the wolf-hunt, the brothers come upon Lúthien, who is caught by Huan. The half-Maia-half-elf who later manages to enchant and defeat, among others, Sauron, Carcharoth and Morgoth can do nothing against Huan - even the magic sleep-cloak has no effect. Importantly, Lúthien does not know that these are soms of Fëanor - they introduce themselves only as “lords of Nargothrond”, and she would not know what they look like. Indeed, it’s not clear if there was ever any direct meeting between them and any of the Doriathrim prior to this point. Mablung and Daeron went to the Mereth Aderthad and so would have met some of the Noldor, but Celegorm and Curufin were not there (among his brothers, Maedhros brought only Maglor with him to that conference, likely out of concern that the others would cause trouble). Thus, Lúthien has no reason not to trust them - all se knows is that they are liegemen of her cousin Finrod. (She and Finrod would be, I think, first cousins once removed - she Thingol’s daughter, and he’s a grandson of Thingol’s brother Olwë.) She would know Finrod personally, given that he has spent time in Doriath, and she knows about the Ring of Barahir and Finrod’s debt to Beren, so this meeting would seem very fortunate, and an obvious avenue to pursue for finding allies.

Notably and disturbingly, the narrative here indicates that Celegorm and Curufin both lust after Lúthien, though Celegorm (the elder of the two, and unmarried) is the one they ultimately try to force her into marriage with. It is not usual for wedded elves to desire anyone other than their spouse (Finwë is the only case of remarriage, and so far as we’re told the only case of an elf wanting to remarry, and that was after his previous spouse had specifically said she never wanted to return to life), so that’s an additional red flag in their behaviour being well outside Elven norms.

I think there’s something important in Lúthien’s character revealed by the lines Of her escape and the marvellous mantle she did shape she lightly tells, but words her fail recalling sunlight in the vale, moonlight, starlight in Doriath ere Beren took the perilous path. Lúthien’s not interested in her own accomplishments, she’s not proud; she speaks lightly of her (magically, very impressive) escape. She cares about being with the person she loves, not about being regarded as a hero. And that’s immediate contrast with Celegorm and Curufin’s conversation earlier in the chapter about how to use the wolf-hunt to make themselves look good to the Nargothrondim. It also forms a parallel to Beren’s conversation with Finrod in Canto VI, where he speaks briefly (‘recounted soon’) of his deeds as a guerilla in Dorthonion, but ‘words him fail’ when remembering Lúthien - the same phrase used above. The two people who achieve what is probably the greatest deed in the history of Beleriand do not care about their reputations, fame, or glory, but simply about each other.

On the journey back to Nargothrond, Lúthien and Hian are both troubled and suspect that their travel is deliberately slower than it could be. Their suspicions are correct, and upon arrival at Nargothrond Lúthien is made a prisoner. This is done openly - it was not hid in Nargothond that Fëanor’s sons held her in bond - and Orodreth is aware that their goal is to force her into marriage in order to force Doriath to ally with them. For elves, there is no distinction between sex and marriage - they are one and the same; ‘political marriage’ does not exist - so, yes, this is a rape attempt. It manages to get even creepier by the implication that although the forced marriage would be to Celegorm, as stated in the Silmarillion, Curufin is also pursuing Lúthien physically. Or that’s the obvious conclusion from the earlier line Curufin looked with hot desire on Lúthien combined with the later line, after Lúthien has befriended Huan, Curufin thereafter never near might win to Lúthien, nor touch that maid, but shrank from Huan’s fangs afraid.

And this brings us to what is, for me, the central question of this Canto. Given that Celegorm and Curufin’s behaviour here is deeply un-elvish - rape is essentially unimaginable to elves, and the a t would kill any elf who committed it, along with their victim - why does no one do anything to stop it? Why does all Nargothrond, Arafinwëans and Fëanorians alike, go along with it? It must haunt them, later, that they did - not only with regards to Lúthien, but because if she had bern able to escape just one day earlier than she did, Finrod would still be alive. Nobody can decieve themselves that theur actions didn’t matter - the intervention of any one person on her behalf, in helping her escape, could have tipped the balance, could have enabled her to get to Tol-in-Gaurhoth just that little bit sooner. The strongest explanation I can think of for their mass inactions is that 1) they’ve decided that attacking Tol-in-Gaurhoth would be doomed to defeat and 2) they think Lúthien being imprisoned in Nargothrond is marginally better than her running off to Tol-in-Gaurhoth and getting imprisoned by Sauron, which is what would happen if she got out. After all, nothing terrible has happened to her yet.

As I’ve discussed before, Celegorm and Curufin’s plan, in addition to being immoral, is idiotic on so many levels. As stated above, the only possible consequence of a marriage between Celegorm and Lúthien is the death of both of them, which would absolutely start a war with Doriath. (Does Celegorm recognize this? Almost certainly not. Rapists tend not to regard themselves as rapists. He’s most likely decieving himself with some idea of ‘she’ll come around eventually’.) There is no reason for Thingol, in any circumstance, to respond to this plan by allying with the Fëanorians, and every reason for him to regard it as an act of war. Even in a hypothetical circumstance where Lúthien consented, Thingol would still have no reason to ally with them. Marriage alliances among humans are based in the concept of inheritance - the couple’s child will eventually succeed to the throne - and that’s a moot point among a race of immortals. Even in the event of Thingol’s death, the chances of the Doriathrim accepting a Fëanorian as their king are nil. The. Fëanorians. Can. Gain. Nothing. From. This.

The downward spiral of the Fëanorians, halted for 400 years by Maedhros’ choices, begins again in the Leithian, and one of its hallmarks is that their actions are not only evil, but counterproductively evil. Anything they do that is related to the Oath tends both towards evil and towards making their own situation worse. Celegorm and Curufin are lucky that Lúthien escapes. Indeed, one has to wonder if Huan’s assistance was not solely on Lúthien’s behalf, but also a means of saving his master’s life in the only way he still could.

#tolkien #the silmarillion #the lay of leithian #leithian reread #lúthien #celegorm #curufin #nargothrond #huan #cw: attempted rape

45 notes · View notes

arethereanyoriginalusernames · 3 years

Text

I wanted to write a post about my story’s rival characters

And fuck it, it’s my birthday

I wanted to make a post detailing how each rival character I have contributes to the story. Now, I want to be clear that these characters aren’t necessarily villains, they simply oppose the main cast in some way.

———

Jadis the Serpent Demon

Jadis is a former 90s grunge rockstar, serial killer and cultist turned demon. She can turn into a giant fucking snake, parts of her outfit can turn into miniature snakes, and she has the same ambiguous amount of supernatural power all other demons have, although she rarely uses these supernatural abilities. She prefers hand to hand combat, doing snakey shit, and stabbing shit.

Jadis is a rival to Phoenix, mainly in ideology. Jadis is cynical, nihilistic, and a massive kill joy. Due to her past and all she’s had to deal with, she only sees the system aspect of society, and views any positive outlook on life as naive and stupid, even dangerous. This clashes with Phoenix, who strongly believes that everything in life has a purpose. She kinda has to, it’s a big part of what motivated her to become the person she is now. Phoenix is figuratively a train going full speed and Jadis is the inevitable brick wall of reality she’ll run into. It doesn’t help that Phoenix never beats Jadis in a fight. Both characters have valid position to question the other, and much of their relationship is influenced by how they both affect each other.

——-

Flaga

Flaga is a former soldier of the Northern Fairy Army, running away to join a group of mercenaries because he couldn’t take any more of seeing his comrades die more often by their own hand out of despair, than on the battlefield. He was a friend of Chronos, before a mission resulted in Chronos shooting him in the back and leaving him to die in the mirror realm. (Flaga has the power to travel through mirrors and the space between mirrors is called the mirror realm) This of course caused Flaga to turn into... essentially a living corpse, and lose it mentally. And now he stalks the world, looking to kill Chronos.

Flaga represents repressed guilt and regret. It’s easy for characters to point out that Flaga is unhinged, thus he probably shouldn’t be taken seriously. However, this is usually used to shift blame from Chronos, who is still affected by guilt he refuses to acknowledge. While circumstance was what forced his hand, Chronos is still aware that he ruined his old friend’s life. Chronos is someone who doesn’t take failure lightly, as he views himself as having this responsibility to help people, thus the situation with Flaga, including how he’s gone out of his way to not have to think about it, shows serious flaws in his mentality. Meanwhile, Flaga is set on killing Chronos because... he doesn’t know what else to do. He doesn’t know how to move on, and doesn’t see any way to heal. He’s motivated by the idea that killing Chronos will fix everything, which, unfortunately, is later proven to not be the case

———-

Wolfgang Dracula

The oldest of Vlad’s cousins, who you may recall from my post detailing Vlad’s entire arc. Wolfgang was the main perpetrator of the bullying Vlad went through after being named the descendant of Dracula. Wolf is the most powerful of the cousins, and the older members of the Dracula family all agree that he should have been chosen instead of Vlad. After Vlad and his parents move away, Wolf turns his sights to the other cousins. Mainly his younger brother, Ludwig. Wolf goes out of his way to establish dominance amongst the group of cousins, and has gone as far as breaking every one of Ludwig’s fingers, and causing various cousins to develop anxiety issues

Wolf is mostly a bully meant to be overcome, but he’s also indicative of the chaotic, unhealthy environment the Dracula family encourages and enables. Wolf’s behaviour didn’t just come out of nowhere, and he was very much pushed to be the way he is by the adult figures in his life. Him being eventually bested by Vlad, something that goes against everything the family believes in, is the start of a change. Plus, this serves as character development for Vlad, who comes to stand up to Wolf, and not let the past affect him anymore.

———

Skele

An orca shifter kidnapped from her family as a baby, and forced to be a child entertainer by the abusive organization Atlanta Prima. After escaping, Skele nearly dies swimming back to Greenland, hoping to find her family. On the brink of death, she’s saved by the god of frozen wasteland, Allyon, becoming his new host. She’s now in charge of a pod of monstrous void whales and is an urban legend throughout the sea, allegedly slaughtering anyone she comes across.

Skele serves as a sort of parallel to Missi. Both were kidnapped as babs and kept in the care of abusive groups. However, they both have clearly different ways of dealing with what happened. Missi detaches from reality in order to ignore what happened, and wants to leave it behind her. Skele, on the other hand, takes her fury out on almost anyone she comes across. Neither girl is more “right” or “correct” here, and both coping mechanisms aren’t helping either one. However, both girls see a bit of themselves in the other, and both want to “save” the other. To top it off, both Missi and Skele are characters considered “too far gone” to be helped by many. However, a potential road to healing comes when Missi realizes that reaching out for help from others might actually be a lifeline both for her, and maybe even for Skele.

———

Arryn the Dream Demon

Former star pupil of the Grim Reaper, Arryn finds herself in a tragic downward spiral as she becomes the unwilling lackey to Ceries, a malicious and narcissistic demon. After Ceries isolates Arryn from everyone she cares about, and takes her little sister Lithie hostage, Arryn is tasked with either killing Trix or bringing him to Ceries. Given how she and Trix were childhood friends who basically grew up together, this is already a difficult task. And of course, as Arryn fails over and over again, she becomes increasingly desperate and unstable, going as far to kidnap and nearly kill Missi. After even that fails and her sister goes missing, presumably killed, Arryn outright gives up on life and longs for death, blaming Trix for the misery she’s been through.

Trix’s story arc carries a theme of questioning your world and what you’ve been told. Trix was taught by Ceries as a child various non-existing expectations about what makes a decent demon, and encourages his flawed idea that being violent and scary required, and dispels any thoughts of nuance and moral greyness within him. Arryn doesn’t want to believe that Ceries has as much control over her as she does, and vehemently denies that she’s being manipulated. After all, she was once the Grim Reaper’s star student with endless potential. She’d know if she was being manipulated.... right? Being persuaded to cut ties with loved ones isn’t her being isolated, right? Both Arryn and Trix are also characters who go out of their way to seem threatening, while hiding their actual personalities and pretending to not care about anyone. So yay, parallels.

I’ll probably make a part 2 with the rest of the rivals later.

Who’s your favourite out of the bunch? Feel free to let me know! All characters and art belong to me.

6 notes · View notes

beauty-grace-outer-space · 4 years

Note

you mentioned something a little while back about trauma anniversaries? would you be comfortable explaining what it means and what its about?

Sure thing.

So.. trauma anniversaries are complicated, and vary from person to person, but the general idea is that when one experiences a traumatic event (or events, plural, centered around a specific time period), the brain/body stores that information and (as with other PTSD reactions) sometimes has an uncontrollable and unpredictable response to it.

“Many trauma survivors experience challenging “anniversary reactions,” which are defined as ‘unique set[s] of unsettling feelings, thoughts or memories that occur on the anniversary of a significant experience.’ When a survivor finds themselves in the midst of a trauma anniversary, they often are forced to re-live feelings from the traumatic event, causing symptoms like increased anxiety, depression, trouble sleeping, loss of appetite, nightmares, and irritable outbursts.”

Our bodies hold on to trauma in an effort to protect us, but sometimes those signals get mixed and bad feelings get tied to a time period, which is not particularly useful in most cases.

This time of year makes me a bit wonky in general, with the changing of the seasons and the temperature drop, but October is also an anniversary for an event that changed my life and dramatically impacted my mental health... and I didn’t realize that it was affecting me until I was already deep in it this go round.

I hate talking about it like this, because of the age old dichotomy of “it wasn’t that bad” and “it was bad enough and it’s affecting me”. I’m still working on accepting this stuff without falling into the mental trap that I’m “whining about nothing” and that “other people have it worse”. They do. Someone always does. But that doesn’t mean that the stuff that’s happened to me isn’t bad.

I don’t know how much information you’re looking for, or if you’re asking about my experience specifically, but I’m still a bit off so what the hell.

I already have issues with fall and the beginning of the school year for various reasons that I won’t go into. So this time of year is always tricky. But...

For those who don’t already know, five years and fifteen days ago, I called my grandmother and she told me she was going to kill herself. I was the only one home, I had just turned 23 years old two weeks beforehand, she had told me she was having a hard time affording some things, and I had offered to make her an appointment with a therapist and with a new primary care physician and to pay for it all so she could keep taking her medication.

I called to ask her what day might work for an appointment so I could take the time off work, pick her up, take her to lunch, and then drive her to the appointment, and she told me she was going to kill herself. She told me she had been saving up her pills, and that’s why she hadn’t been taking them. She told me she had discussed it with my grandfather, and that he knew and was ok with it, and they were going through their belongings so there would be “less for him to deal with” once she was gone and that she was “surprised I hadn’t caught on sooner”.

I kept her on the phone, kept her talking on my cell, and grabbed the home phone to start calling anyone I could think of. My mom, my dad, my aunt (with whom I had only reconciled five days before-- big misunderstanding, but still a lot), my mom’s cousin... no one would answer.

By the time my mom got home, I had been on the phone with my grandmother for over an hour, mid panic attack, and I was hyperventilating so hard I couldn’t see and I couldn’t stand. Your limbs go all tingly when you don’t retain enough carbon dioxide, and I remember trying to walk to her and collapsing. I gasped out an explanation, my mom took the reins, and we were able to get in touch with my aunt and get the necessary medical professionals on hand to give my grandmother a psychiatric evaluation and put her on a 72 hour hold.

We were at the hospital until nearly 4 in the morning before a nurse told us that they legally couldn’t release my grandmother because the doctor had mandated a three day safety hold, and that we should go home and get some rest. By the time we made it home, there was a message on our answering machine that a county examiner had released her and there was nothing more they could do.

I found out later, much later, that she had never stopped taking her meds. She’d never said a word to my grandfather. She had no intention of killing herself. She wanted a reaction from me, and she got one. She called my cousins and told them I was a liar. She called family members who have never even met me and told them how awful I am, and that I make things up for attention.

I waited a little over a week to call her. I recorded the call, so that I’d have proof if I needed it. It’s still on my harddrive somewhere. Two plus hours of her calling me a liar, telling me that conversation never happened, telling me that she’s ashamed of me, that she hopes no one in their right mind ever loves me because I’m a monster, that she pities my friends and anyone who has the misfortune of knowing me because I’ll stab them in the back too as soon as I want some attention. The list goes on and on.

That continued for a while. Whether or not it’s true, when someone you love tells you things over and over again, you can’t help but wonder.

I started having dreams that she was hitting me, and that people were letting her do it. I started having dreams that I was in a loving, committed relationship but came home one day to a seething partner who had just gotten off the phone with her and realized I was a worthless liar, and of them, too, turning abusive. I started having dreams that I was alone at the bottom of a deep, dark hole, and no one could hear me or try to get me out.

She decided one day that we were going to pretend nothing had ever happened, and I was forced to play along. All the while she’d still call and say awful things to me, then show up at family gathering like nothing was wrong. She’d say one thing to me, another to my family, and call me a liar to my face and behind my back. She kept telling friends and family that I was being abusive and manipulative to her.

It hit the point that I truly, genuinely couldn’t remember what she had said in that initial call, and I worried I had made it all up. Gaslighting at it’s finest.

It’s taken years to realize it, but every interaction I had with her following that date has been either abuse or manipulation. She spent months and months refusing to speak to me unless it was to tell me how horrible I am, then like flipping a switch one day I came home and there was a gift on my front porch from her. She’d ease up for a while, then suddenly be awful again. My entire life, she had always been the epitome of a perfect grandma... she’d take me on outings, buy me little gifts, bake with me at the holidays, sing songs with the grandkids, loved playing with us, we’d talk for hours on the phone, they came to dinner frequently. And now... it’s like a veil has been lifted and she’s unrecognizable.

I tried to maintain a relationship with her. She screamed at everyone at Easter a few years back that her silverware was more important to her than a relationship with me. I kept trying. She told a lawyer that my mom and I had “stolen her medical records” and were “forcing her to have medical procedures against her will”. I kept trying. She threatened to send a police officer to our house, accusing me of stealing. I kept trying.

And finally, last fall, I called to wish her a happy birthday, she began a tangent, and I realized I was so tired. I asked her outright if she wanted a relationship with me. She told me she couldn’t be bothered to think about it. I haven’t spoken to her since.

That one phone call cost me so, so much. I lost my relationship with my grandmother and my grandfather, by extension. Other family members have questioned if I’m lying to them, or if I made things up. I’ve questioned if I made things up.

In the midst of all of this, my father also completely shifted and I don’t know why. He started picking fights with me, almost constantly. If I tried to change the subject, I was too stupid to have a discussion. If I stayed silent, I clearly knew I was wrong. If I said anything in reply, I was lying. He throws things, when he’s mad. He kicks things. He used to punch walls. My mom has since said to me that if she had any idea that he would turn into this person, she wouldn’t have married him. Sometimes he’s great, sometimes he’s awful. I never know which version I’ll be dealing with.

I’ve spent nearly five straight years in therapy trying to deal with this. My original goal was not to hate my grandmother, or my father. It had to adapt to not hating myself because of what they said to me.

So October is hard. Because October is when my mind and body unconsciously remember things changing. Relationships I’d always counted on turned abusive. Nothing I said or did was safe. It’s dangerous.

I blew past the actual anniversary just feeling sort of... jittery. I’ve spent a few weeks feeling withdrawn and anxious and not knowing why. I had a noticeable uptick in old thought patterns and intrusive thoughts about self worth, self harm, etc.

Whether or not it’s logical, whether or not it makes sense... my self preservation has locked onto this time of year as unsafe, and it falls into old patterns in an attempt at protection. Old patterns include anxiety, difficulty eating regularly, issues with self worth, withdrawing from others, emotions very close to the surface, and a few other things.

And that’s where I’m at.

I’m ok, and I’ll be ok. I’ve got some experience dealing with this under my belt now, and I still see my therapist regularly. I’m talking to her next week. At the moment, I’m just trying to take care of me however it makes sense, and not doing anything dangerous or dumb.

So... that’s what I mean by trauma anniversary.

#trigger warnings #abuse #self harm mentioned but vaguely #trauma anniversary #I... really cannot control my words right now #I'm sorry for the word vomit #this is probably not at all what you were asking for

27 notes · View notes

tonyspep · 5 years

Text

my sweet tooth got the best of me

a/n: this is a companion piece to my dad!richard madden and dad!kit harrington fic home sweet home (a couple kids running in the yard). again, this is all @rocketrhap4229's fault because she talked about writing a fic where richard's kids in her stories are older and he and his wife end up babysitting a baby and he longs for a baby again. i told her she should write it, and it made me think of doing the same thing for kit, so here we are.

~*~my sweet tooth got the best of me~*~

pairing: kit harington/you (sadie)

summary: the last thing you expected was kit to develop a case of baby fever when your baby sister asks you to take care of your six month old niece

rating: k+

You knew all too well the intense need for a respite that came for new mothers and fathers, just a night – just one – where you weren't woken up by a piercing cry at three am and the like, so you didn't hesitate when your sister pleaded with you to watch your niece, Savannah who had just turned six months old a few weeks prior. You were out at your favorite cafe` and you recognized the bags under your baby sister's eyes, the way she could barely keep her head up and how her normally perfectly done up hair was twisted into a messy top knot.

Easily you lifted the baby out of her stroller and the blue eyes both you and your sister inherited from your father blinked up at you. You laughed and lightly tossed her in the air, catching her without fail and she giggled as your fingers lightly pressed into the softness of her baby-round tummy to tickle her.

“We'll have a good time, won't we, Savvy girl?” You murmured, reaching for your keys to dangle in front of her, laughing when her chubby hands reached for them. “Yes, we will. Yes, we will.” She wriggled and squealed as you peppered her face with kisses.

“Kit won't mind?” Faye questioned, her voice wary, but you brushed her off with a wave of your hand.

“Has it been a tick since we've had a little one around? Sure, it has, but he adores Savvy, you know that. It's not as if you're leaving her with us for months, it's just a few nights so you and Cam can get the sleep you desperately need. He'll understand. It wasn't that long ago that Jax and Jade were in nappies.”

“She can be a handful....”

“Stooooooop,” You insisted, drawing out the word as you shook your head. “We've got nothing to worry about, do we, sweetheart? You're going to be an angel for Auntie Sadie and Uncle Kit aren't you?” More tickling of her tummy and she unleashed another stream of giggles, slapping her hands together as she flashed a gummy smile that made your heart melt.

“See?” You shot back, sticking out your tongue. “She'll be perfect. Now, you go on home, shoo. My angel of a niece and I will take a walk round the park, get some fresh air and then we'll have a nice little nap, a spot of tea and soon it will be time for supper. Does that sound fun, Savvy? Does it? Awwww, it does, doesn't it?” You babbled in a baby voice you hadn't used in so long.

It wasn't an exaggeration to say Faye looked like the weight of the world had been lifted from her slim shoulders and you laughed as she flung herself at you, nearly knocking your chair backwards. You remembered that feeling of relief washing over you like a summer rain, all too well, after Kit's parents graciously offered to take their grandchild off your hands for a few nights just so you could breathe.

Though, you loathed to call it such out loud, about an hour and a half later after doing everything you had told Faye you would do with Sadie, you had arrived at your summer cottage in Hambeldon just outside of Hampshire. You didn't like thinking of yourself as part of the bougies set who jetted from this home to that home with a turn of the weather, but you missed the country terribly as you and your sister had been raised on your family's farm in Yorkshire. And while you understood Kit's need to be based in London, you couldn't stop yourself from missing the fresh air and the rolling hills and such.

It felt strange entering the door with a baby on your hip and a bursting Burberry bag hanging perilously off your shoulder, as you hadn't done so in quite some time, but everything about caring for Savannah came naturally to you.

You bounced her as you carefully shut the door with your heel, as your hands were quite full, and just as you set the baby bag onto the floor and propped the stroller against the wall, you heard the familiar rhythm of Kit's footfalls against the stairs.

You bit your lip, twisting the flesh between your teeth, as you took in the sight of your husband.

Nearly twenty years and two children later, he still had your pulse racing and butterflies flitting about your stomach. You didn't know how, but he had only gotten better with age, his black velvet curls becoming streaked with grey here and there but still as unruly and thick as ever just as his facial hair was sporting silvery tones as well. He was as fit as he'd ever been, something you couldn't help but appreciate as he gave a hearty yawn, the tee he was wearing slipping upward to reveal a sliver of his still toned stomach.

“Surprise,” You cooed, reaching him in four quick strides, your mouth pressed against his ear.

“Surprise?” His voice dipped low, like a caress against your skin. “Is this surprise,” There was a rough edge creeping in and you had to try hard to stifle the giggle bubbling in your throat, he had no idea Savannah was in your arms as he was too focused on you. “Something lacy or something silky? Or perhaps,” He stroked at your cheek and you nearly reached for him to steady yourself as your legs turned to jelly from his voice. “Tonight I'll find you the way I like you best, bare and waiting for me after we've wrangled our rascals off to bed?”

“I'm afraid that will have to wait for some other night,” You murmured, shaking your head.

You couldn't hold back your giggles at the way he outright pouted. His lower lip thrust forward the way your daughter's would when she didn't get her way. “You said...” He sputtered, his eyes blinking rapidly while his brows became pinched together and that only made you laugh harder.

“I said surprise,” Your reply was tart. “I never specified what the surprise would be. You assumed,” You poked him in the chest and he clutched at the spot, falling backward slightly, as if he had been struck.

“What's this suddenly not very interesting surprise then, love?”

“It's not a what...” Your voice trailed away as you transferred Savannah from her perch at your hip to your front and nearly thrust her at your unsuspecting husband. “Faye and Cam are in desperate need of a proper night's rest,” You explained. “So I said we'd watch Savvy for the next few nights. You remember what it was like having a baby round in those early days? How there were times we could barely keep our eyes open for more than five seconds, how we were run ragged and the lot? They need that same break your parents afforded us. Plus,” You batted your lashes in the same way Jade would when she was trying to get him to give her what she wanted, and you knew he wouldn't be able to resist. “I've missed having a little one around,” You brushed your lips along Savannah's hairline, breathing in her baby smell.

“You know I can't say no when you do that,” He groused, but you knew he didn't mean it, not really, anyway. “But as soon as Savvy goes home,” You gasped at the sudden and insistent press of his body against yours. “I want the surprise I thought I was getting,” He breathed the words, husky and low, against the elegant glide of your neck while his large hands roamed along your body, giving your breasts a barely there squeeze before he pulled back.

“Savvy!” Your daughter Jade squealed excitedly as she and her older brother came through the door at the back of the cottage. Each toed off their muddy shoes, having spent the day roaming round and playing. You couldn't help but smile as she plucked her chubby cousin out of the same high chair she and Jax sat in so long ago. The baby gave a squeal of her own before she giggled at the way Jade babbled on about her day.

“Are Aunt Faye and Uncle Cam here, too?” Jax questioned as he reached into the fridge.

“No, they're not. We're watching Savvy so they can get a proper night's rest. And you, young man, better not be fishing round for food,” You warned. “Supper's going to be done in about twenty minutes.”

“Muuuuuuuuuummmmmm,” He groaned and you found yourself longing for the days before he became a teenager and was absorbed in his phone or computer except on the rare occasions where you or Kit basically ordered him to go out and play, whether you were here or back in London.

“Don't give me that and I definitely don't want to here any of that I'm a growing boy business. I'll not have you eating us out of house and home, Mister. You've already had breakfast and lunch, plus what you and Jade took with you as a snack while you were running round, that's enough.”

“Yeah, Jax,” Jade piped up from her spot on the kitchen floor where she was bouncing Savannah in her lap. “Mummy and Daddy won't have you eating us out of house and home.”

“Shut...” Before he could finish, you knew Kit had come into the kitchen, effectively stopping him from telling his sister to shut up. “I didn't think you wanted to finish that sentence,” Your husband said smoothly. “And what do you know? I was right. You know the proper way to talk to your sister. Go wash up and then set the table, and don't even think about turning on your phone. There's nothing Earth shattering that's going to happen between you washing up, setting the table and supper being over.”

“Yes, Dad,” Jax droned as he sprinted up the stairs, the familiar refrain of no running in the house was on the tip of your tongue, but you let it go.

You couldn't help but sigh as Kit's hands found purchase at your hips while you were at the stove, keeping watch over the pasta bake you had in the oven, ready with your mitts on to retrieve it. He placed a soft kiss against your temple and murmured, “I know. It seems so long ago when we were his whole world, doesn't it?”

You leaned backwards so your back was pressed against his front and you gave him a fond smile, pushing the bridge of his glasses onto the bridge of his nose. “Because it was so long ago,” You laughed. “Keep the specs till we retire to our chambers, Lord Harington,” Your tone was teasing as you slipped into the easy rapport you had created with him nearly two decades before.

“As you wish,” Came his familiar reply as he bet to press a dainty kiss to your freckled nose.

Kit felt something stir inside him that he never expected as he watched you help Jade feed Savannah her mushy peas throughout supper. He adored the tiny thing from the moment Cameron had placed her in his arms as a new born. As he inhaled her familiar baby smell, there was a brief flicker of want inside of him and he thought of pulling you aside and whispering about how he would like another, but it was quickly extinguished after she had become fussy and let out a wailing cry about being passed about and not being near her mother.

After Jax had been born, there wasn't a need in him for another baby like he had heard his mates go on and on about. Neither of you were from terribly large families and hadn't discussed having even more than one baby when you discussed about whether you would even have children at all.

He meant every word when he said he would have been happy with just you, but you wanted at least one, and he believed as he watched Jax grow that his son was enough. Then after his fifth birthday party was over and you had put him to bed, you came to him – in a lace slip he thought about every now and again, even now – and murmured against his lips, “surprise,” and then, seven and a half months later, Jade Marie was in his arms.

A girl...

Nearly all his life, girls had been quite the mystery to him, having been more used to the rough housing and ruggedness brought on by boys and suddenly he was going to have one calling him, “Daddy,” and from the moment, he cut the umbilical cord and she was nothing but a squalling mess as she wriggled about in distress at having lost her comfortable resting place within you, she captured him in a way even her own brother hadn't.

If Jax was his spitting image, Jade was yours, and it only made him love her more.

You both had the same smattering of freckles along the bridge of your nose and cheeks, only coming more alive in the summer months as your skin would darken under the sun, but it was her eyes – the same pure crystal blue as yours – that would get him to do whatever she asked, without hesitation.

She knew all of your tricks, too. Such as making the already round shape of her eyes rounder by widening them ever so slightly while her velvet lashes batted furtively. A plaintive and sweet, “Daaaaaady” just like the way you pronounced his full name “Chrisssstopher,” whenever you wanted something. Rocking back and forth on her little feet. Her pout thrust forward and quivering slightly.

There was a want coursing through his veins as he remembered Jade being as tiny as Savannah. She had been quite the clingy thing, the opposite of her brother. Jax, as a baby, couldn't wait to explore everything around him, hating to be confined and always wanting to move, even when he could barely keep his head up. But his little gem – as he was fond of calling her – never wanted to part with him, coming close to bursting both of your eardrums with her nearly inconsolable wails when you would lay her down in her bassinet or crib.

It was a struggle, once she was older, to even get her to sleep in her own room. He winced at the thought, knowing he hadn't been much of a help in that area, as all she would have to do is cling at his leg and bat her lashes and he had been turned to mush and would sneak her into the bed he shared with you after he was sure you'd fallen asleep, thinking you were none the wiser as long as she ended up in her own bed before you woke.

“Someone,” Your voice cut through his thoughts. “Needs a change.”

Kit laughed under his breath and without a second thought, rose from his chair. “I'll take care of it. Jade, help your Mum clear the table. Jax, you're going to wash and your sister will dry. Don't put up a fuss. If you do, we'll keep that computer of yours back home next time we go on holiday. And I don't just mean when we're summering here at the cottage, either.”

Jax gave a heavy sigh, but no remarks were made, which Kit knew – like him – you considered as a win.

Baby talk had never been his forte, but he slipped into it like a well worn pair of trainers, laughing and making faces at a wriggling Savannah as he powdered her bum and placed a new diaper on after disposing of her previous one. She laughed – high-pitched and with abandon – the same way Jade had at this age and there was a twinge in his heart. Snapping the buttons of her onsie in place, a soft white number with light purple stripes going across, he scooped her up easily and when she yawned and her head came to rest against his shoulder, the want that had been coursing through his veins during supper, was only growing stronger.

Her sweet baby smell surrounding him, he rocked her gently and walked around your bedroom, humming the familiar refrain of The Beatles “Obladi-Oblada,” which had been Jade's favorite lullaby.

Something bittersweet swept over him, wishing she could be this small again.

Though, she had yet to take on Jax's defiance and sullen moods, she was growing up, too.

She no longer had him putting on tiaras and feather boas while they sipped at imaginary tea with her teddies and dolls. She was going to you for her braids and ponys, saying his were sloppy and they needed to be neat for school. She didn't need him to tie her laces on her saddle shoes or trainers anymore and suddenly she didn't want the crust cut off her sandwiches.

She played soccer now and was going to be going to camp next summer, meaning for the first time, she'd be away from home for a long stretch of time and she wasn't even batting an eye.

To the contrary, it was all she could talk about.

So different from the tiny thing whose bottom lip would quiver while her body shook with the fear that when he was filming and wouldn't see her every day, that he would forget her.

“Your cousins are practically grown,” He murmured to Savannah who was sleeping soundly in his arms. “Soon Jax is going to be chauffering you and Jade about town, he'll have his learner's permit any day now while Jade's going to camp next summer. She's not at all apprehensive about being away from home. Or me,” There was a sad tinge to his voice. “Your parents don't want you to right now cause you're runnin' them ragged, but you should stay this way forever. Tiny and needy. Don't be like your cousins and grow up. They won't want you to.”

Kit sighed as he pressed a loving kiss to the sleeping baby's forehead before placing her in the bassinet that he pulled from the attic that had once housed both his children. He gave another soft kiss, this time to her cheek, before he turned on the baby monitor, something he never thought he'd do again and found himself wishing instead of a strawberry blonde – taking after Cameron's auburn tinged hair – there was a dark haired little girl, the perfect mix of you and him, swaddled inside.

“A little one runnin' round again wouldn't be so bad, would it?” Your husband's voice in your ear, sounding hopeful as he snuggled next to you on the couch, the cushions dipping with his weight, nearly had you spitting out the sip of wine you had just taken.

“Kit...” You drew out the three letters of his name, as if to say you can't be serious. Though, neither of you were old, you weren't young anymore, either.

“Think of it...” He brought you into his arms, your head falling perfectly against his shoulder. “Another little girl... Not a mini you or me, but a mini us,” His voice was soft and warm, sounding like he did when he asked you to marry him, and your heart rose and fell at the same time.

“Christopher,” You sighed as you put your glass on the coffee table before turning so you were face to face. Those brown eyes boring into yours and head tilted just so, almost like an expectant puppy waiting for a bone or a table scrap had you shaking your head. If you stared at him for even a fraction of a second longer, his bottom lip now thrust forward, you'd cave in for sure.

“Getting there,” His voice husky along the soft skin of your neck, his lips nipping and sucking here and there until his are hovering just above yours. “Would be fun, wouldn't it? All of the trying? Then guessing,” His hands are no longer still, they're roaming – your body now in his lap – over your back, under your top, squeezing a breast and then a cheek. “Where they were conceived? Perhaps when you're bent over on the stairs, my favorite dress – you know the one, the little black one that barely covers your delectable arse – all rucked up about your waist because I can't wait to have you, because I need you. Just like I needed you the night I took you on the dining room table and nine months later Jax was born. Or since we'll be trying for another girl, I could put candles everywhere in our bathroom again, draw you a bath and then take you slow and sweet, just like the way you like until you're begging and there's water everywhere and you're aching and then Jade will have herself a little sister.”

If you were standing, you're legs would have completely given out. The combination of his sinful words – spoken so low and warm against your skin, his teeth grazing along your pulse point and then his lips soothing your skin after every few words – his woodsy scent with that hint of something musky and manly underneath and his roaming hands, had your head swimming and your pussy throbbing.

It all sounded so wonderful, so delicious that you couldn't stop the heady moan that fell from your lips as your nipples came alive against your lacy bra.

Somehow, though, you didn't understand how you fought through the intense haze of lust he wove around you with his sinful words. A soft smile cupped the sharp edge of his jaw, your fingers gently scratching at the bristles of his beard as you drew his forehead against yours.

You bit playfully at his plump bottom lip before kissing him soundly. You pulled back before things could get too out of hand, a sharp hiss escaping your lips as he ground his hardness against your center while your tongue slipped away from his. Through your velvet lashes you peered up at him, struck – yet again – by how handsome he was, even with the streaks of grey among his curls and the flecks of grey in his still thick beard.

You were nearly overwhelmed by the love you had for him, by how much the two of you had shared for as long as you had been together and the family you made.

Another addition, of course, would be lovely but your foursome – you, Kit, Jax and Jade – were everything. Another while welcome wasn't necessary. You just hoped he felt the same way.

“It's far too early for empty nest syndrome and such. Another would be lovely and the trying,” You giggle. “Would be fun as would the guessing,” Another giggle. “But Jax and Jade still need us.” You assured, able to understand where his want was truly coming from. “Jax is terrified about practicing for his driver's test. He'll be coming to you for help any day. I told him he has to because I'm more terrified about him behind the wheel. My baby driving round London with all of the crazy drivers is not something I want to think about. I'll have him strapped in like Richard Hammond in Top Gear or something ridiculous.”

Kit laughs and you relish in the familiar sound washing over you, his brown eyes alight with warmth.

“I'm not supposed to say,” You're whispering now. “But Jade has picked out very special stationary and paper to send you hand written letters from camp. She practices her cursive every night so it's perfect. They don't teach that in school any more. She had to ask me how to write her letters all over again.”

“What?” He blinks, clearly stunned by your revelation. “She...”

“Uh-uh,” You assure. “She wants you to do her braids before we send her off. She said she wants to make the smiley pancakes with you. Just you, by the way. No Jax,” A heavy sigh as you shake your head. “And no me. Just her and Daddy.”

“No....”

“Yes,” You emphasize the word, rolling your eyes at his disbelief. “I know it gets to me, too. Thinking they don't need us any more, that we're not their whole world like we were, but we have more than we ever thought. At one point, it was just going to be you and me, remember?”

Kit takes your hand in his, linking your fingers together and he brings your knuckles to his lips. He pushes a wayward strand from your top knot behind your ear. “It would have been enough, you know that don't you? If it was just you and me?”

You nod a soft smile blooming across your lips. “Of course I know. I hope you think this is enough; you and me and Jax and Jade. We are aren't we?”

“Don't ever say that,” His tone is fierce, his jaw ticking slightly. “The three of you will always be enough. I'll never want for anything at all as long as you three are with me. Even if our son has his face buried in his phone for the rest of our days and our daughter starts slamming her bedroom door and complaining about having nothing to wear.”

“What about when she gets her first crush?” You tease and Kit's nose instantly wrinkles. “You will not speak of such things,” He declares making you laugh. “Jade's not going to notice boys until she's graduated from uni.”

“Suuuuuure,” You murmur as you click your tongue. You retrieve your wine glass and take a healthy gulp before you pat your husband's cheek and say, “It's so cute you think she hasn't already noticed boys.”

“What?” He sputters, his eyes going comically wide. “C'mon, Kit,” You chide. “You can't tell me you haven't noticed the way she fawns over Finn? She's been doing it since they were in nappies.” You roll your eyes. “You and Richard are completely oblivious, I swear.”

“Wait... What? Finn? Finneas Oliver Madden?” More sputtering and you simply slid off his lap and glide into the kitchen, your wine glass in hand, intending to pour yourself another. “That Finn?”

“No,” You snark. “The other Finn she's been friends with since she was in nappies.”

“She's ten!” He practically shrieks and right on cue, a high-pitched wail echoes through the house, signaling Sadie is either wet, hungry or has woken up and realized she's in a completely new place than she's used to.

You can't help but scowl knowing Kit's shriek most likely didn't help matters. “Well done, Christopher,” You remark, shaking your head. “Yes, let's have another. I have quite missed the high-pitched wails of distress from a baby.”

Kit looks appropriately sheepish as he follows behind you as you make the journey from the living room to your bedroom, taking the stairs two at a time.

#kit harington x you #kit harington x reader #dad!kit harington #kit harington fanfiction #fanfiction

82 notes · View notes

theysaywhatasadsight · 5 years

Text

Wedding Bells, Part One (Steve Rogers x Desi!Reader)

A/n: *Slides up to you* Good Evening (technically its morning hehe) but this fic was made possible by Amy (some may know her, she was formerly @thelazypangolin ), by @messy-random-bitch and @officially-tonynat-shrine who listened to my crazy headcanons and gave me amazing ones. @nasarogers is the clueless American I would die for (love you bby) and @shurisneakers and @chillingbucky wanted to be tagged. Technically this is a desi au, so translations are right next to the sentence and some pop culture references are in the glossary. The story is based in Delhi so if any of y’all live there don’t come for my head skkssk. (P.S.: IDK if the ‘person sitting in the lap of another person in a car’ is technically illegal here or not? Imagine my surprise when I went to Europe and found out it’s illegal there RIP. So ignore the “is this actually allowed?” question, please and thank you.

Warnings: Floof, some violence and blood, swearing (well it’s in another language)

"Agent (L/N), thoughts?" The post mission debrief was often long and complicated but this time, one of her many gods had clearly smiled upon her as it was over in an hour. Most of the junior agents had cleared out of the room, leaving behind a few of the senior ones and the director of SHIELD. "Don't let Richardson go next time; all he does is whine and make extremely bad decisions. Our job is to provide assistance to the Avengers, not to be heroes ourselves. Let's keep ourselves a bit on the down low." "Agreed." Smith piped up. There were nods around the table. "I'll talk to Richardson, push him on a desk job for a while." Everyone stood up and filled out. Walking beside Nick, YN grabbed his tablet for him. "Always working, Sir." "Unlike you, Agent (L/N). A whole month for a wedding? It's not you that's getting married is it?" He looked completely serious but she could see the glint of mischief in his eye. "What? I haven't taken a single holiday in a year. Besides,its my cousin's wedding; they're pretty close." "I suppose you're not joining us for the Islamabad mission?" "Not really, already I get called unpatriotic too much. Good luck!"

She handed off the debrief files in the Avengers' living room. A few were lazing around, some off to shower or maybe nap. She herself wanted one, not wanting to wrestle with a saree and a suitcase. "So I hear you're not showing up for the next month?" She handed the file to Natasha while Tony looked up from his phone where he was declining with Pepper and Morgan who were away to Chicago for a meeting and visiting Pepper's family. After Ultron, it was always better to have physical copies of files. "Yeah, cousin getting married." "Oooh, with the number of days you were leaving I thought it was yours." "Don't, Fury already made that joke. And besides, wouldn't I invite you lot to my hypothetical wedding?" She smiled as she sat down on the sofa next to him, grabbing an apple from the coffee table. "Considering it was Steve's wedding too I would think we would already be invited, I did call you all to mine." He smirked. Y/N nearly choked on her apple. "Wait, what?!" "Darling, we know you've been hooking up. Or planning to." Natasha sighed and glared at Tony. "So much staring at each other on missions. You always covering his ass, and might I remind you of the time he went into a coma after a mission and you nearly ripped the place apart?" "Clearly, your super senses are gone because there is nothing there. Nada. Zilch. There is absolutely no potential there. We're just colleagues." "Colleagues who hooked up once? Last new year's you two were slobbering over each other. You left Bucky and Me dancing alone to that...what was it called again?" "Sheila ki Jawani*?" "Yes! Amazing song, by the way. Movie didn't make a lick of sense but then again, which heist movie does?" Glad at the change of topic, she smiled. "Do you need more movie recommendations?" "Nope, Bucky and I still have your old list to go through." "Call me if you need explanations. Only WhatsApp calls though, I'm not shelling out a fortune to explain the reincarnation of Shanti Priya* to you."

Hungry, jet lagged and extremely fatigued she landed at the Delhi airport, hoping against hope that the crowd assembled at the pick up was for the Tik Tok star that was also on her flight and not because her whole clan hadn't seen her for 3 years. But when was she ever lucky? When she had left the army to join SHIELD everyone had been very disappointed in her. Not that any of them knew. For immediate family, she was in HR for Stark Industries and for the rest she was in 'Amreeka, doing something or the other'.

When they told her she would be sleeping alongside her younger cousin who was training to be a doctor she just sighed. The nerd would probably study the whole night and keep the light on. Maybe she could do some pending work; jet lag would keep her awake anyway. Work, yes. Work would keep her awake. Definitely not daydreaming about a pair of blue eyes that wouldn't go away; the owner of whom was the biggest fattu (coward) she had ever seen.

He missed Y/N. It had barely been 4 days since she was gone. He should ideally know better. Fraternising among agents wasn't good. Her job would be in danger if anyone found out. He never really had a thing for rules though. "Good God, Rogers, stop moping about and give her a call." "I-what?" "Yes." Natasha frowned at him from where she was leaning against the countertop. He was crushing the cardamom, trying to figure out if it went after the chai was done or before. "Ask her when the cardamom goes in. I think it's before the whole thing boils." "I, uh, I'll look up a recipie." "Care to tell me why Steve Rogers, who loves coffee as black as his soul is trying to replicate YN's sweet as hell chai? Couldn't you get some from Starbucks?" "That's no chai,that's just tea and milk. She had it once and almost threw it at the barista's head...Nat, why are you looking at me like that?" "Nothing, nothing at all."

"They're no longer in Islamabad." "What?" "Someone leaked the details of the raid to them. They're moving it to India now, possibly to the capital. They have enough contacts to pull it off, even HYDRA's helping them." "New Delhi, isn't that where Agent (L/N) is now?" "Fury, she's on vacation; besides she's not picking up any of her calls." Natasha glared at Nick. "A radioactive gas that can take out the entire subcontinent and a dude who's not stopping at anything to further his our-return-to-the-dark-ages agenda? Pretty sure it beats all weddings. Send someone with the briefing and gather your team. We’re sorting this shit out, fast."

"No. Absolutely not. I'm not going to show up at her door asking her to cancel her family commitments and go back to work." "Really, the concern you two have for each other is extremely sweet and nauseating; but you have to do it. Get in, get recon and get back in contact. If the rumour is true we'll have to assemble the whole team." The former assassin rolled her eyes at Steve's aghast face. "I got her address off an old file; I'll ask her to pick you up. And please, don't get lost somewhere; we really don't have any spare agents to track you down." "I've been outside the States before, Widow. And using confidential information for personal purposes? Nefarious." "This is the reward I get for being a good wingwoman. Fine, don't come crying to me when you're invited to her actual wedding." As he set about packing he daydreamed about jumping off the top of the compound and wondering if his feet would still work to escape into the surrounding forest.

She got the text the minute Natasha assumed Steve's plane took off. "Your boyfriend is headed towards Delhi. Introduce him, be the black sheep you are and for the love of God read the files and make a plan." The rest was just code saying the plans had changed, the expected mission derailed. When her family began pestering her, saying that her turn at the altar was next and asking about boyfriends, she had blurted Steve's name by accident, the fact that it made a perfect cover was a different matter. That's what happens when you space out while talking to Sunita Chachi*, woman has a tongue sharper than Gordon Ramsay's knife. Her mother had just smiled sadly and asked two of YN's younger cousins to share a bed when told another guest would be joining them.

30 minutes after the plane landed he immediately wanted to go back. What he was used to was executing secret and well-coordinated missions, not the actual planning and coordinating. Sam argued he was growing soft. He just liked listening to YN's voice. And now he was in an unfamiliar land with no foreseeable end to his stay and a wedding to attend, apparently. YN smiled at him at the receiving line, smiling as a lover receiving a spouse after a long separation. She walked up to him and whispered "You're my boyfriend from work, you know zero hindi and Natasha introduced us." She embraced him and leaned forward for a kiss. It lasted shorter than he would've liked. She continued whispering as she grasped his hand and lead him to the car which already had three people in it. "Did you pick up more guests?" "Nope, they just wanted to see you first." Opening the door as Steve tossed his bag in the back she yelled something at the assembled children and got in the right. Was the kid in the front supposed to drive? "Do you need an invitation?" One of the kids yelled out.

He had judged wrong. There were not only three teenagers, there were two more kids who had been too shy to outright stare at him like their elder siblings (he assumed) had. One sat in his lap, staring outside the window. The others chose instead to glare at him unnervingly. YN drove, swearing at everything. One of the younger ones laughed at something she said and immediately had his ears covered and shushed."Didi* don't teach Gudiya bad words!"

"Arey baba sorry, tu toh janta hai traffic kitna bura hai; akele chalane ki adaat ho gayi hai bhenchod. Sorry." (“You know how bad traffic is, I’m used to driving alone, sisterfucker” Basically the reader’s saying the traffic is the worst and how she’s used to driving alone and hence swears often while driving; also people from Delhi apparently like to attach swears to everything.) She grinned as her cousin gasped again. She was at the moral, change-the-world stage. YN missed that.

“So, change of plans?” Pinky grinned at Y/N as she looked up from a complicated looking textbook. The kid had somehow made it to medical school without losing her mind or her calm demeanour. “I’m only gonna switch places at night, right now let me study Anatomy.”Sighing at her cousin’s confused stare, she glared back. “Arey you’ll want to sleep next to your boyfriend na?” “Uh, yeah, I mean, thank you, but it’s no problem. I don’t want you to get in trouble because of me.” “Calm down. If we get caught sneaking around in the middle of the night its worse for the two of you. I got into MBBS, I can basically get away with murder now.” she smiled. Y/N wondered whether her cousin would be a sociopath or a leader later. She went about chalking up the updated plan for the recon, only hoping her family would behave themselves around Steve. She caught some part of her wishing it was the real thing so that the poor guy’s suffering wouldn’t be in vain.

Hey bhagwaan (oh God), I need gangajal* and a stiff drink. Also a lobotomy.

“How did that idiot even cross the border this quick? And how are we getting informed this late? This is going to be a logistical nightmare, the government is going to put the pressure on us.” “Maybe someone exposed him or he got pushed back down on the social hierarchy. It’s a mess.” On the pretense of sightseeing, Y/n had dragged Steve away from her nosy relatives to get details for the now completely changed mission. "Can I try that?" He gestured to the bowl of chaat* in her hands. "Don't cry if you find it too spicy then. You couldn't even tolerate my butter chicken; even my youngest cousin can eat that." "My tongue is really not fond of burning and not being able to taste anything for a fortnight." "Oh? What is it fond of then?" His answering blush made her smile. "I-uh, we need to report within three days, Nat is busy getting everyone together and ready for the mission." "The engagement is in 2 days! How are we even going to get out?" "How much do you like this cousin anyway?" "How. Dare. You. Rahul is one of the few I actually like." "Yeah, how many are there? I lost count at 13." She punched his arm and snorted, earning a smile from him and a glare from the chaatwala*.

YN truly regretted coming back here. The never ending taunts, the upcoming solo recon mission (that she would have to give Rahul’s engagement a miss for, he was one of her favorites too) and the fact that the guy she had been thirsting over the past few months was suddenly her so-called boyfriend. Massaging her temples as she got up to get ready, she hoped desperately the recon would not involving fighting. She already had thinning hair due to the stresses of being a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, her hair being yanked out while pins were still attached to her hair wouldn’t help the cause.

"Mummy!" She yelled over the din of the loud, jarring music. Her mother was smiling and gossiping with her sister-in-law. "Thoda kaam aa gaya; Delhi wale office Jana padega." (Some work popped up, I’ll have to go to the Delhi office) "Itni raat ko? Uss gore ko lekar?" (So late? With the foreigner in tow?”) "Are kuch nahi hoga, bohot important hai, warna nahi jaati." (Nothing will happen. It’s too important, otherwise I wouldn’t have gone.) "Wapis aa jaiyo jaldi, raat ko ghumne safe nahi hota." (Come back quick, It's not safe to roam at night.) "Pakka." (I promise)

"MADARCHOD!" (”MOTHERFUCKER!”) She grunted as she ducked, the bullet nearly embedding in her collarbone. She fired back two shots, one at a goon's head and one at his accomplice's knees. Whipping her head at a noise, she gasped as Steve has a bullet graze him as one of them took a lucky shot at him. He only winced. The goddamn lehenga* got in the way of her running after the idiot who could run like fucking Milkha Singh* even after being shot in the knees. They both chased. The recon turned ugly after someone spotted the tent she was wearing that was pretending to be a skirt. If they somehow got out alive, she'd burn this thing. By the time she caught up to Steve, who had left her long behind, she came upon a sight that gave her a heart attack. The men (apparently some were laying in wait for them) all lay dead in various poses, with Steve in the middle grunting and struggling to get up. Firing at someone who awoke, she leaned down, cradling his head in her hands. "Steve. Hey, whoa. Don't die on me. Where are you hurt?" He was bleeding all over her skirt. "Knife to the ribs. Two or three times..may...maybe. Hurts like a bitch." "I'm getting you up. We're going home, okay?"

This was a terrible situation. Somehow supporting the huge, burly figure of an extremely injured Steve, she set him down, leaning against the bike they had zipped around on and somehow escaped on, looking for her phone in the carrier attached. She lived this bike even when she lived here; it belonged to her uncle who would give the keys to only her. The sagaai* had clearly ended an hour or so ago. People still milled about, probably the men from the tent house they had booked for the whole tamasha*. “Shobhit, neeche aa. Garden ke side. Aur Bunty aur Puneet ko bhi leke aaiyo.” (”Shobhit, come downstairs, to the garden side. Bring Bunty and Puneet with you.") “Itni raat ko kya kar rahi ho bahar? Khatam ho gaya aapka office ka kaam?” ("What are you doing out so late, is your office work done?") “Are tu neeche aa, sab samjhaati hu.” ("You come downstairs, I’ll explain everything" )

“Samjhaana agar shuru karti toh achha hota.” "It’ll be good if you start explaining now." Shobit muttered as all three of her cousins stared at the crumpled figure of Captain America on the ground, to their cousin wincing in pain, her lehenga covered with blood, again to Steve. “Isko uthake Pinky ke kamre tak jaane mei meri madad kar. Yeh marr warr gaya toh naukri gayi meri.” "Help me pick him up and take him to Pinky’s room. If he dies, I’m losing my job."

“First of all, I’m not a doctor. Yet.” Pinky also did her fair share of staring at everyone. Y/N could feel her eye twitching. Whether it was out of anger, stress, or the false eyelash that had ripped from her lash line as she drove like a madwoman in the traffic, no helmet or gloves. Steve screaming like a grandma as he held on for dear life was a tiny bit amusing though. Endearing maybe, Nope, definitely not endearing.

“I should tell you that because I have very, and I mean very little experience in sewing. Particularly sewing up bodies professionally. If he dies, I am not responsible.” She yawned once, extremely sleepy. “That being said, someone get cotton, Dettol, and uh my sewing kit is in the left front pocket of my backpack. Jija*, there’s no anesthesia, but I suppose you don’t need it, super strength and all. Didi*, aisa muh mat banao (don’t make that face), just because none of the oldies know who he is doesn’t mean we’re stupid too.” Y/N shut her gaping mouth.

“He’ll live.” Pinky said as everyone in the room collectively sighed. The suture had been painful to witness, Y/N biting her lip so hard she tasted copper. Steve seemed okay now. When he had taken that guard’s knife to the stomach, Y/N’s heart had stopped. The fear she felt, that was no general fear at seeing someone stabbed or even a friendly fear (was there even such a thing or was 3 AM her just rambling?). The panic she felt was heartbeaking. “Make those self realisation faces later, Di. I’m tired and I just want some sleep. “Jija ko unke kamre tak chodke aa. Koi raaste mei mile bol dena bike bhid gayi thi, hospital se aate hue late ho gaya tha.” (Jija is the hindi word for sister’s husband. Pinky’s telling him to drop him to his room and if anyone asks to tell them he had an accident, the bike hit something and they were late coming from the hospital.) “Tu sabko heart attack dilayegi kya?” (Do you want to give everyone a heart attack?") “Aur koi bahana mile toh batao.” ("If you have any other excuse then tell"

As everyone scattered, Y/N shut the door to change. Her cousin just lay down on the bed, semi-asleep. She cracked one eye open when Y/N reached out her hand to switch off the light, whispering “So you are a secret agent?” “Nope, I sell veggies with Captain America.” “Ugh, way to thank me for saving your boyfriend’s life, with terrible puns.” “He’s not my...leave it. Good night. Oh, and PInky?” Pinky hummed. “Thanks.” “So jao.” (Go to Sleep)

“Tell Romanoff we’ll need backup. They clearly planned ahead for the move, the facility is impossible to get into, and now they know we’re coming. Also, Steve is injured." “Very well, we’ll invite ourselves to the wedding. Take care if your boyfriend until then."Natasha sounded worried but her tone was light. “Bring a gift, I’m not keeping strangers in my family home without payment.”

Glossary *-Sheila ki Jawani is a pretty popular Bollywood Item Song. Played at every wedding /party since 2010 *-The Reincarnation of Shanti Priya is a reference to the film Om Shanti Om where the leads get resurrected after having an unhappy ending *Chachi- Father's younger brother's wife; aka yn's aunt *Gangajal- Water from the river Ganges that Hindus consider sacred, its used for purification purposes (guess why Y/N wanted it *wink wink*) *Didi- Elder Sister *Chaat: some spicy-sweet snack, it's a general term; desis feel free to imagine your favourite. *Chaatwala: the person who owns the chaat shop *Lehenga: a crop top and floor-length skirt outfit worn at weddings and traditional functions *Milkha Singh: famous Indian athlete, also known as "The Flying Sikh" because of how fast he was. *sagaai- engagement *tamasha- a sarcastic way of saying how over the top the whole wedding is.

#steve rogers x reader #steve x desi!reader #steve rogers x y/n #captain america x reader #captain america x y/n #captain america imagine #mcu imagine #marvel imagine #marvel x reader #mcu x reader #mcu x y/n

136 notes · View notes

ethereals-angel · 5 years

Text

Glow (VII)

Pairing: Baekhyun/Reader // Jongdae/Reader

Genre: Angst

Summary: You loved him for years. You knew that. He knew that. Everyone knew that. The looks you give him isn't so surprising to anyone anymore. But, to your pleasure, that didn't stop you two from being friends. And that also didn't stop the fact that he's in love with someone else.

I // II // III // IV // V // VI // VII // VIII // IX // F //

Days have passed by quickly after that encounter with Baekhyun. You couldn't stop thinking about it. How he walked out of the room as if nothing happened.

You were worried over the fact that he had never talked to you until now. It seemed like he had forgotten of your existence all of a sudden.

Funny how he's making you feel this way when you know that he'll never forget about you. You may be the second, after Mina, but you know that he'll always come back to you because you're you. You're his bestfriend.

What made you happy is he seemed to have gotten better. He's smiling more, better than the days before he approached you. And of course, he showers Mina with love and affection like he always does. Though, you barely see him, he might be spending more of his time with her. What's new?

All that, yet you can't help but see through him. You know there's something wrong. His smile never reached his eyes, his laugh never reached his heart, his glow never reached yours. This made you realize that you know Baekhyun more than anyone, you realized that you know him more than anyone ever could. No one could ever replace your place in his life. It might be selfish, but it satisfies you.

You set all your thoughts about him aside. He already has her. If he couldn't see how much you've done, how much you know you are to him, you shouldn't bother anymore. Bitterness flodded your system, but you know you care too much. You know you can never hurt him back. You knew, once he asks you to hug him again after ignoring you and hurting you like that, you would.

You would never do anything to hurt him.

As for you and Jongdae, Baekhyun barely showing up and not talking to you actually helped. You spent more time with him not because you have no choice, it's because you want to. He's creating his own personal space in your heart and it didn't bother you one bit. More to love.

"I want some ice cream." Ria whined at you.

"We just ate so much, Riri. How are you not full?" You said, trying to suppress a laugh as she scowled at you, "besides, you haven't told me what happened."

She sighed, leaning against you. She wrapped an arm around your waist as you held her by her shoulder, "it's Sehun."

You shot your eyes at her, "what happened?"

"I don't know. He's just being so... distant, you know? He doesn't even react to my snarky comments anymore," she complained, "i don't know what to do."

"Have you finally confessed to each other or what?" You're genuinely confused, they have been outright flirting in front of your friends these last few weeks. They still quarreled, but it always ended up with them bursting in a fit of giggles.

She blushed at your question, trying to hide her flushed face from you, making you smile, "yes. I was the first one to tell him about my feelings and he said he liked me too." She paused, you heard a sob coming out of her, "and now he's not even talking to me, have I been fooled?"

Your heart clenched, it's the first time you've seen her like this. She has always been that tough girl you always knew. The only time you've seen her cry was when her pet dog died out of old age, and you were young that time.

"No, no," you shook your head, "he wouldn't do that to you. I know that he likes you. He talks about you a lot when we're together. There must be something else going on."

She nodded, hugging you tightly. You let her cry on your shoulder, gently rubbing her back.

"I believe you."

After tucking Ria to bed and making sure she's okay, you invited yourself out of her room— their room.

The moment you closed the door, you came eye to eye to the man himself. Sehun.

You were about to speak when he avoided your eyes and continued on walking, aiming to open the door of the room. You immediately held his arm, stopping him.

"Sehun, what's wrong?" You asked, softly. You didn't want to drive him away by getting mad.

You're friends with him and Ria. They're both really important to you, and you are more than willing to hear his reasons and help them mend their blossoming relationship.

His eyes are looking at everything but you, "it's nothing."

He was about to leave, your grip on his arm tightened, pulling him back, "please know that you're hurting her."

Sighing, you pulled him into a hug. You tried your best to embrace his large figure. "I know you."

You returned to your room, a huff leaving your lips. You flopped onto the bed, lying down like a starfish. Being a friend is tiring.

Jongdae isn't here tonight. He had to attend to an important matter, he said. For all you know, he just probably had to feed his cousin's pets.

You chuckled, your heart warm. Jongdae has always been the softest.

Your felt your smile slowly leave your lips once you remember the situation between Ria and Sehun. What could've happened?

You know Sehun. He wouldn't do that just because he wanted to. You knew how much he liked her ever since and, now that he can finally have her, he's doing this?

The knock on your door brought you back to reality. You didn't bother moving and told the person behind the door to simply enter, knowing you left the door unlocked.

You immediately sat up when you saw a drunk Baekhyun come into view. He leaned onto the door frame, trying to balance himself. You stood up and ran to him, quickly holding his arms, leading him inside the room, "what... what are you doing here?"

The only response you got was a soft whine, his lips forming into a pout. You practically dragged him into the room, using all the strength you have. God, was he heavy?

Once you finally reached the bed, he fell as if he was a sack of rice, another whine leaving him.

"Baekhyun," you sighed, "really?"

You stared at him, his hair in a mess, he looked so spent, it's so cute. He instantly fell into a slumber when you adjusted him, removing his shoes off his feet.

What did you say about him coming back to you, again?

A deep sigh left your lips for the ninth time that day. You felt relieved when you realized that he wasn't wearing jeans. You won't let him sleep with something uncomfortable because you knew he would wake you up at the middle of the night to ask you to change his pants for him because he felt too spent and drunk to do so.

You threw your body onto the space beside him and stared ahead, so much for those days he was ignoring you.

You thought about how unfair it is to have him right here and suddenly, all the promises you made for yourself are suddenly gone, ignored, and thrown far far away.

So, so unfair.

You had a scowl on your face as you looked at him, you're probably mad at yourself for being so weak when it comes to Baekhyun. But how can't you? He looks so angelic, it stings. His mouth slightly opened, soft snores passing through his pretty lips. His lashes touching his cheeks. The fact that he got a little chubbier made you smile. He looks perfect just like this.

You stared at him a little longer, realizing how much you missed him as you observe every detail of him. Making sure you left nothing unnoticed.

His breathing relaxed and slow, you can't help but touch him, your hands ran through his locks, removing the soft fringe on his forehead. The back of your finger slid down his cheek distractedly.

Your pulse increased when you heard him whisper your name softly, "don't leave me, okay?"

You won't.

141 notes · View notes

niall-is-my-dream · 5 years

Text

You & Me - Part One

2750 words

May 2017

Backstage was a hub of activity, sound check was done but you'd got a few things to organise before you could head for some food. People moving equipment around and finalising the details for the show today.

"I need some water." A very beautiful blonde bluntly said to you, an all access pass hanging around her neck.

"The food and drink area is down the hall, second on the left." You replied, more politely than you should have considering how rude she had been to you.

"Can't you get it for me?" She asked, looking you up and down like you were something she found on the bottom of her shoe. Apparently your skinny jeans and t-shirt were not to her standards.

"Um, no I have a job to do."

"Aren't you suppose to do whatever Niall asks of you? Isn't that what he pays you for?"

Oh good God, she was one of those.

"I'm a guitar technician, Niall pays me to maintain and set up his instruments for him. He certainly does not pay me to get people drinks." You replied slowly, making sure she got your point.

"Excuse me, who do you think you are?!"

"I'm Callie, Niall's guitar technician. And you are?!" You replied smirking.

"Don't you know who I am?!"

You couldn't help the massive eye roll that occurred.

The sound of someone coming down the steps from the stage had you both turning around. Niall came strolling towards you, dressed casually in dark jeans and a navy t-shirt. Ignoring the obvious atmosphere in the small back area that his guitars were set out in.

"This one sounds so much better since you put those new strings on." He said to you. "You alright?" He suddenly asked the stunning blonde.

"No, this girl won't get me any water."

Niall looked at you and you raised your eyebrows at him, a look of annoyance on your face as he handed you his guitar.

"She's my guitar tech love, and the canteen is down the hall."

"But she was rude to me, surely these people do whatever you want them to."

You shook your head in disgust, honestly what was wrong with her?

Niall looked over to you, he knew you weren't someone who would be rude without a valid reason. He also knew that Saskia was used to getting what she wanted and expected others to cater for her every need.

"Why don't we leave Cal to do her job and we can go get some water and some food?" He replied, placing his hand on the small of her back and guiding her away from you.

The blonde, whose name you didn't know and frankly didn't care to know walked off with Niall. He turned to look at you, giving you a sympathetic sorry look. You didn't return it, he needed to keep his pretty bits of skirt away from you.

Two Months Later

Lazing in the Portuguese sun with a cocktail in one hand and your phone in the other, you started to scroll through Instagram. You noticed that you'd gotten a notification, so opened up the page.

"Woah!" You said, the shock evident in your face.

"What?!!" Bex asked, clearly confused by your face.

"My phone has literally blown up with notifications, and I have like 6,500 more followers?!"

"Babe, seriously?! I mean our bikini shot was good but......" She laughed thinking you were joking with her.

"Oh for fuck sake Niall!" You mumbled. "He fucking liked the picture."

"Did he now?!"

You didn't reply but just rolled your eyes at her.

You scrolled through the comments and they were all from Niall fans. It had happened before when he had started following you. You'd been working with him since he went solo. His first single had been a surprise success, so his management had organised a team to support his performances. You were one of his personal guitar technicians.

When you had been celebrating the success of Slow Hands and toured around with him and his band in the early summer, you had instantly started following them all and in turn them you. Nialls fans were hot on stuff like this and you'd actually had to change your bio to say 'guitar technician, currently touring with Niall Horan' just to clarify who you were.

The fans had asked questions on your most recent post, wanting to know who you were. You had only got a few hundred followers and now your total stood at over 10,000.

You closed the app and started a new text.

"Ni, wtf, you liked my pic? My phone is blowing up with notifications!"

You opened up IG again and started reading the comments.

Oh God!

There were some weird comments.

You'd seen ones like this before. You started following each other and you were female, so everyone read way more into it than they should. You were just colleagues who were friends now, seeing as you clicked instantly when you met. He was humble, down to earth and you liked a lot of the same music. After he experienced problems with his guitar during a performance a few months ago when you'd had to help Jake with something and Phil, another colleague had taken over and messed up, he had insisted that only you helped him. You didn't mind, if you were honest. You preferred just working with him.

It was less than ten minutes later when a new message appeared.

"Sorry! But the picture was too good to not like. Fyi Willie thinks your friend is cute. 😉"

You smiled at his message. Lingering on the words of it being 'too good to not like'.

"Nialls cousin thinks you're cute." You said turning to Bex.

"He does? Is he cute? Have you met him?" She blurted out quickly.

"Bex......... you sound a bit desperate!"

"I've been single for a year and haven't even been on a date for 5 months!"

Now that made you laugh. Bex and yourself were not doing particularly well in that department. Having ended things with your boyfriend at the beginning of the year when you agreed to follow Niall and his team around the world. Having been with Jack for almost a year, you thought he'd understand your job by now. However working with someone as well known as Niall, who would be travelling a lot and heading as far as Australia, would be demanding your full attention. Jack wasn't keen on being left behind.

But at 24, scoring a job like touring and working personally with Niall Horan was as good as it got. You would see the world, get to do your dream job and get paid for it. The fact that Niall was gorgeous and great fun to be around was an added bonus. Being a realist you knew he was way out of your league, and instead a great friendship had been formed and he trusted you with your opinion musically.

"I've met his cousin a couple of times when he visited him when we were working. He's cute too and really nice." You answered, your fingers hovering over the keypad trying to decide how to answer Niall.

"Ask him to send a picture of them!"

"What?"

"I want to see what he looks like!"

"Ok."

Deciding to ignore the things he had said about your picture, you just told him that Bex was intrigued to see a picture of Willie to see if he was a cute to.

"You don't want to see a picture of me then?!" He asked.

You guys had some great banter when you all hung out when you were working but you'd never text him like this before.

"Meh, I mean if you want to send one?"

"Cheeky! 😉"

A few minutes later he replied with a picture of Willie, sitting by a swimming pool with a beer in his hand. He looked slightly pink from being in the sun but definitely cute and Bex agreed.

"She thinks he's cute too. Are you guys on holiday?" You quickly replied.

"Yeah, this is my view of Ibiza today."

He had added a picture of his legs and feet with an amazing view of the hills and countryside. He was clearly lying on a sunlounger by the same pool as Willie.

Deciding to test the waters with a bit of flirting, you took an almost identical picture of your legs and feet with your view of the sea from where you were lying on the beach.

"My view in Portugal today."

You looked over to see Bex eyeing you up. "Are you sending him a picture of your legs?!" She asked with a massive smirk on her face.

You blushed when you saw his reply come through seconds later.

"Nice view. Great tan."

"Thanks, I bet you're as sun burnt as Willie aren't you?"

"I'm a little bit pink. The boys aren't exactly enthusiastic with putting sun lotion on me!"

The boys?! Mmm...... Your need to know if it was a lads holiday or if she was with him was burning inside you. Once again you hovered over the keypad before deciding just to ask him outright.

"Saskia not with you to assist then?"

The bubbles came up instantly showing he was replying.

"No, I'm not seeing her anymore."

"That's a shame."

"Liar, I know you didn't like her! 😂😂😂"

"I'm sure she was a lovely person, just not to me! But I am sorry it didn't work out. "

"It was just casual anyway. She ended up not being who I thought she was."

"Oh, well we've got tour soon so we will be busy with that. I'm looking forward to it."

"Me too. X"

"Enjoy the rest of your holiday. Let me know when you're back in London and we can try and set these two up."

"You too. I'll see you when we get back."

"And Ni, please stop liking my pictures, your fans are going crazy!"

"Well stop posting bikini shots then!!!!!!!"

"Stalker!"

"You're the one who follows me around!"

"I get paid to do that you arsehole!"

You were laughing now and Bex was still watching you like a hawk.

"Stop with name calling, I'm off to cry into my beer!"

"Whatever!"

"Missed our banter. Can't wait to see you."

"Looking forward to seeing you too."

You locked your phone and looked over to Bex. "What?!"

"Were you flirting with him?!"

"No, it was just banter."

"Really?! Then why are you blushing?!

"I'm not, the temperature is like 35 degrees!"

"Mmmhmmm."

"I'm going to cool off in the sea." You said, avoiding her gaze.

Heading down to the shoreline you looked out across the sea, watching all the boats cruising around the bay.

You were blushing. His words had never had an effect on you before. It had been a few weeks since you'd seen him and the team and you were missing them all. Tour wasn't due to start for another month but rehearsals started in just over a week. You'd be back with them all soon and you couldn't wait.

The weather in London was beautiful, bright blue skies and blazing sun, not a match on Portugal though. It felt great to be home, for a couple of weeks at least. Rehearsals didn't start for a few days so you filled your time pretty much doing nothing. Bex had gone back to work the day after you got back from Portugal, so the flat you shared was empty. Lazing on the sofa browsing Netflix had been your daily activity.

Your phone bleeped from the coffee table.

"Fancy setting up Willie and Bex?" Niall asked. You hadn't heard from him since you were away.

"I do! What did you have in mind?"

"Start off with a trip to the pub later if you're both free?"

"Sounds good, I'll check with Bex and let you know."

"Ok cool, what are you up to now?"

"Don't judge me but....." You replied with a picture of your bare legs stretched out on your sofa, the tv on in the background showing Pretty Woman.

"Great choice. I'm watching golf highlights." He replied with a picture of his bare legs and his giant tv.

"Surprise surprise!"

"I know, I'm so predictable!"

You left the texting there and dropped Bex a message asking her if she fancied going to the pub to meet everyone. Her initial excitement shown on holiday had now diminished and she was unsure and incredibly nervous. An hour later and she had agreed.

A quick message to Niall and you'd finalised the plans.

The pub in Brixton that Niall had suggested wasn't too far from yours, you'd been in there once before. Bex ordered you both a beer as you looked around the pub and didn't spot them.

"Maybe they're in the garden?" Bex said as she paid for your drinks.

"Yeah, let's head out there."

Sure enough as you reach the door to the pub garden you heard his laugh.

Tara spotted you first and jumped out of her seat to run to you and engulf you in a hug. It had been ages since you'd seen her. As Niall's assistant she normally travelled most places with him, she would be joining him on tour to. Niall turned around at that point and smiled when he saw you.

Making your way over to the table with a very nervous Bex, you realised you knew almost everyone from when they had visited Niall at some point when he had been performing over the last few months. Niall introduced you to everyone and the only person you hadn't met before.

"This is Conor. His band WildYouth are performing with us the first night of tour. And this Conor, is Callie my guitar technician." Niall said proudly.

"Ah the famous Callie!" He said smiling.

"I hope that's a good thing!" You said, taking the empty seat next to Niall. Bex sat down next to you taking the last empty seat next to Willie. They looked at each other nervously and you caught Niall's smirk.

"He's been stalking her Instagram." He whispered to you.

"Has he really?!" You whispered back.

"Well I helped, there are some very interesting pictures of you on there."

"Yep there is! Just don't go liking them. My follower count is ridiculous and I've had to turn my notifications off."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Just didn't think." He replied, you could hear the sadness in his voice. A simple like of a friends picture can cause so much trouble for him.

"Its ok, I haven't had too much hate."

"Just ignore it, ok?"

"I am." You replied finally meeting his eyes, and you saw sadness behind them.

A couple of hours later and with the drinks flowing, Willie and Bex had exchanged numbers. Niall had nudged your shoulder when he saw them get their phones out. Both of you smirked, enjoying your match making skills.

"They can keep each other company while we are away." You whispered, and Niall agreed with a nod.

Making your way back from the toilet a little while later, you stopped before you came around the corner to the bar when you heard your name.

"So Callie is exactly as you described her." Conor said.

"Yeah, she's pretty great." Niall agreed.

"So, is she single?!"

"Yeah she is, but she's off limits for you!"

"Off limits? You got yourself a crush there Nialler?!"

"No!" He's scoffed. "It's just, she works for me. She's bloody good at her job and I don't want my friends leeching all over her."

"Ok fair enough. Shame though, she's beautiful."

"She's stunning, but off limits. Ok?!"

"Fine!"

"Come on, let's get back out there with these drinks."

You left it a few seconds before rounding the corner and catching up with the lads as they exited the bar to the pub garden.

Laying in bed that night you couldn't stop thinking about what Niall had said. First that you were off limits to pretty much everyone you were likely to meet while working with him and second of all he said you were stunning.

Stunning.

Never in your life have you been called that. You couldn't read much into it. He's already said you were off limits and you assume that meant him to.

Part two

https://niall-is-my-dream.tumblr.com/post/182467949243/you-me-part-two

#Niall #Niall horan #Niall fan fic #Niall fan fiction #Niall horan fan fic #Niall horan fan fiction #Niall your #flicker sessions #Emily writes

118 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: hey Janis: I hope you're alright, like Janis: I am and Janis: yeah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: sorry about that Janis: just Janis: family shit Jimmy: Alright Janis: it's not Jimmy: if any dickhead gets that, it's me Janis: yeah Janis: but Janis: I said I'd try Jimmy: we've both said shit Janis: I meant it though Jimmy: that'll be why you're here now then Janis: trying don't mean I'll always get it right Janis: and will you let me in when I am or Jimmy: you know where the spare 🔑 is Jimmy: and I meant when I said I weren't kicking you out Janis: would it help if I explain or don't it matter Jimmy: would it? Janis: I don't know Janis: maybe Janis: so you know it weren't nothing to do with you or Jimmy: would it help you? Janis: I care about you Jimmy: I care about you Jimmy: stalemate that Janis: It's hard Janis: but this is probably easier than in person Janis: for you too, it's Jimmy: I'll put the kettle on then Janis: you'll wanna Janis: just careful you don't scald yourself with any spittakes Jimmy: I'm not at work and Ian's not gonna comp me Jimmy: 💔🎻😭💸 Janis: no flat whites for him Janis: really like this story and all so jokes on you, sir Jimmy: all black everything for him Jimmy: that's the dress code when you're mourning not being 24 still or at whatever point his #heyday began and ended Janis: definitely several jokes to be made there but I'm not really black enough and you look good so Jimmy: there's been enough #bants Jimmy: it's obvs a mancave for lads lads lads the second you leave Janis: gutted, truly Jimmy: #relatable Janis: ugh Janis: right Janis: what have you heard about my sister, Rio Jimmy: she's fit Janis: is that it? Jimmy: yeah why? Jimmy: like I've heard she's a porn star but I didn't feel the need to do a search Janis: just so I know where to start Janis: so that's her, right Janis: but on top of that she Janis: it'll sound like a joke but it ain't so go with it Janis: married our cousin when she was like 18 Jimmy: hang on, your cousin or your mum's friend's kid who you call your auntie but ain't owt to do with you actually Janis: actual cousin Janis: as in they have the same fucking grandparents Jimmy: how did that come about? Janis: good question Janis: this family is fucked Janis: it's not like they didn't know each other growing up or anything, like they didn't know each other from any fucker Janis: it's Jimmy: I get that, the fucked families bit Janis: yeah Janis: well, that was 5 years ago and they did it basically in secret 'cos yeah, they would've been stopped Janis: hopefully Janis: but now they're deciding they need to renew it and force us all to come Janis: and grace just dropped that in a DM like that was something I knew or would be chill with Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: all round Janis: you're telling me Janis: she didn't know I didn't know apparently but still Janis: it's just so Jimmy: you're not gonna go and play happy families Jimmy: why would you Janis: exactly Janis: but they all will Janis: they always do Janis: they've got kids and that's a whole other tale too Jimmy: together? Janis: one, she has one that ain't his too Janis: surprisingly normal looking Jimmy: is it? Janis: [sends Grace's insta] Janis: boys theirs Jimmy: he don't look like a 🐙 or owt Jimmy: your sister must be fit Jimmy: rumour mill got one 🏆 Janis: they're both obsessed with themselves Janis: still think we could've diluted the DNA tbh Jimmy: 😂 Janis: alright, you can laugh Jimmy: sorry Janis: would if it weren't my family Janis: try to anyway Jimmy: she cheated on him and they're still doing another 💍👰? Janis: that's the other story Janis: she was meant to surrogate for my brother Junior Janis: who you'll have heard fuck all about 'cos he keeps to himself and everyone forgets he exists Janis: but then she didn't wanna give it up and it was stupid anyway 'cos he was fresh into uni and dating a lecturer like that situation needs a child Janis: and her life's such a roaring success she should be giving a hand Jimmy: what? Janis: I'll give you a sec Janis: it's literally the most blatant and stupid way she's wrecked a life, like Jimmy: 💔 Mia ain't told me 'cause I thought we had something 💕 Jimmy: but it's alright, I'll live Janis: who knows what Grace told her Janis: that one might actually be family only 'cos as I said, no one gives a fuck about him Janis: he stays well away now, sensible Jimmy: fucking hell, mate Janis: just the local freakshow Janis: it's neverending, the amount of shit there is like that Jimmy: I'll keep it 🤐 about Ian from now on like Jimmy: you can have 🥇 Janis: nah Janis: not a competition Jimmy: is a bit Jimmy: just 🤏 though Janis: well I don't want him feeling left out Janis: still a 🏆 for being an outright twat Jimmy: he ain't 💀💀💀 yet Jimmy: still time to #flex Janis: him and shaz can make it down the aisle 'fore them Jimmy: she ain't been back 🎻🎻 Jimmy: can't keep a mum me Janis: letdown Janis: really wanna be a bridesmaid but can't on principle Jimmy: no 😭😭😭 in my kitchen Jimmy: we're all 💔 Janis: stay strong, boy Jimmy: alright fine I'll bring my proposal forward so we can get 💍 before them Jimmy: stop begging Janis: it'd be worth pissing off the pope to piss them off harder Jimmy: 💕 taking that as a yeah Janis: go on then Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: brb stealing my dad's 💳 to buy a 💎 Janis: 😂 Jimmy: gold or silver? Janis: it's called white gold, so silver but make it expensive #weirdflex Jimmy: #goalsforever Janis: put that in the vows Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: I'm writing them rn Janis: Thanks Janis: for making me feel better Janis: 🤏 Jimmy: if I can't do that then you'd have nowt to come back for Jimmy: have to hang up my boyfriend 😎 Jimmy: put on my 💔 ones Janis: I wasn't leaving you Jimmy: for now Janis: I won't Jimmy: don't promise owt to me, you've been warned, girl Janis: it's a threat Jimmy: hot Jimmy: alright then Janis: I mean it Jimmy: you don't scare me Jimmy: 😘 me or 💀💀💀 me ain't that the phrase Janis: you can't die right now Jimmy: might do Jimmy: you're really beautiful Janis: you don't know Janis: I'm a state Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: that's fake news Janis: shh Jimmy: Alright Grace, put your sister back on Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: it's a good thing you can't see her too tbf Janis: not practical having to hide from you for life when you marry in Jimmy: wait, you're with her? Jimmy: I'll hide the body but bit of warning, babe Janis: ha Janis: yeah Janis: IOU on the rescue she wanted to cash Jimmy: if Mia's there an' all & you don't say hey from me I'll be fuming Janis: she's definitely not Jimmy: have you checked the boot? 👀🍿🔪 Jimmy: folds up like paper, her Janis: wouldn't pit it past her Janis: I'll dry my eyes and get on it Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tell Grace she ain't having a tea unless she's 💰💰 Janis: She's taking my spare bed at nans Janis: musical faves atm Jimmy: I won't go throw shit at her window tonight then Jimmy: tah for the head's up Jimmy: soon my dear 💕👵 Janis: subtle Janis: find somewhere else to kip, it's alright, like Jimmy: no Janis: 💕 Jimmy: I mean it, don't Janis: okay Janis: if you'll have me Jimmy: I want you Janis: I love you Jimmy: do you? Janis: I said it like Jimmy: yeah but Janis: you can pretend I didn't Jimmy: we don't do that it's like the only rule Janis: if you need a free pass then take it Jimmy: I'm not saying I do Jimmy: just Jimmy: It's nowt I ain't heard before and Jimmy: for what? Janis: what do you mean? Jimmy: she said it and she still went Jimmy: my mum Janis: it's okay, it doesn't have to mean anything Janis: I already didn't promise you, yeah Jimmy: it's not Janis: no Janis: it's not Janis: but Janis: I don't know Jimmy: why couldn't she just Jimmy: why did he have to be so Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: it's bullshit Janis: and it's unfair Jimmy: you know that I Jimmy: so important you Jimmy: Alright? Janis: I know Janis: it's all good Janis: isn't it Jimmy: Yeah Janis: I'm sorry everythings shit Jimmy: not everything is Jimmy: you're Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: I like you too Janis: you're about all I do like Janis: no pressure Jimmy: is that what you wanted it to mean? Jimmy: when you said Janis: I meant Janis: that I give a shit about you and I think you're funny and nice and fit and I wanna be around you Janis: and I don't wanna fuck you over Jimmy: then I love you too Janis: yeah? Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: allright Janis: I'll come in then Jimmy: were you waiting for me to say it before you got off the doorstep or what? Janis: not exactly Jimmy: [is at the door like oh hey] Janis: [the most dramatic hug flinging yourself at him like it's been 84 years 'cos lowkey] Jimmy: [we're never letting go bitch thank god its april and not the dead of winter] Janis: [you need all the moments so deal] Jimmy: [has he ever held onto anyone this tightly, no he has not] Janis: [the casual state she is godbless] Jimmy: [when you still look more beautiful than anyone ever probably] Janis: [rude] Jimmy: [this is why Grace hates you girl but pop off] Janis: [when you say it out loud but really quiet] Jimmy: [just really snuggling into her like we're not all dying okay bye] Janis: [just saying how she's gonna stay and how scary it was and not making a whole load of sense 'cos didn't even get to that bit honey] Jimmy: [all the comforting touches ever because now isn't the moment to be like um what but we'll get to it] Janis: [too much to try and be reasonable and logical rn 'is everyone asleep?'] Jimmy: [nodding because you can't trust yourself to speak rn because if you start what are you even gonna say like] Janis: [just like yes good 'cos we don't need to be starting any more scenes do we 'this was not how I planned any of this going'] Jimmy: [especially not with Ian cos at least cali wouldn't give you a slap 'bit shit at plans, us'] Janis: [nods and does a little lol like 'understatement'] Jimmy: [just sitting on the step so you can 🚬 cos so needed but pulling her into your lap cos you don't wanna let go still] Janis: [could be worse, could be meth] Jimmy: [true facts] Janis: [now everyone calm] Jimmy: [take all the moments you can to be soft] Janis: [just got no business being this close and smoking but at least you both are so it's fine] Jimmy: [I'd die literally] Janis: [my poor boo can't speak 'cos she can't breathe] Jimmy: [don't like set anything on fire either tbh] Janis: [lmao not a mood] Jimmy: [that'd be next level drama] Janis: [winnie drama] Jimmy: [that silly old bear] Janis: ['is my tea going cold?'] Jimmy: [lols because he's obvs not made it yet because #distracted we've all been there boy just put the kettle on and get no further like] Jimmy: [but puts his hand out like help me up so they can go inside] Janis: [does but pulls him towards her first and is just looking like !!?! all the emotions] Jimmy: [says 'what' in the softest way literally ever] Janis: [just gonna kiss him but so soft 'cos you're unsure but also don't know where to begin with anything] Jimmy: [all the soft kisses and comfort ever because he's never seen her like this before so he's like must not say or do the wrong thing] Janis: [have a brew lads] Jimmy: [fixes everything so actually go and make it boy give her chance to work out how she's gonna do this like] Janis: [makes me lol but also sad like there's so much you gotta explain before you can get to the now] Jimmy: [literally like no wonder Grace don't wanna see a therapist how exhausting] Janis: when did your mum go Jimmy: does it matter? Jimmy: she's not gonna show up here tonight Jimmy: you're alright Janis: obviously Janis: just thinking Jimmy: what? Jimmy: we've got enough milk to see us through if that's what she went for Janis: doesn't matter Jimmy: go on Janis: if it was about the same time Janis: as my sister Janis: Bobby is 6, yeah Jimmy: She didn't leave him in the hospital or owt like that Jimmy: let him get to nursery age, like Janis: that's something Jimmy: might've been better Jimmy: wouldn't remember her then Janis: does he Janis: remember, like Jimmy: a bit Janis: yeah Janis: Grace said he asked if she had a mum Janis: at the fair Jimmy: he's always doing that Jimmy: tries to go home with kids if he likes the look of theirs an' all Janis: fair Jimmy: 💔 I can't get away with it, me Janis: you probably could Janis: some of them have very unsatisfying marriages, babe Jimmy: just trying to get a tea I don't have to cook myself, babe Jimmy: but tah Janis: don't get nothing in this life for free Janis: soz Jimmy: alright, rich girl Janis: shut up Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: you're taking forever Janis: am I getting a biscuit too, like Jimmy: ruin the surprise Janis: I can pretend Jimmy: you're not that good of an actress Janis: rude Jimmy: only if that's your back up career Jimmy: and you'd have to get well fed up of the modelling first Jimmy: unlikely love the 📷 you Janis: now I'm an attention seeker Janis: charming Janis: and the 📷 loves me, tah Jimmy: nah just a 🥇 muse Jimmy: so supportive of my talents you Janis: you are good Janis: no lie Jimmy: [brings in the tea and a mug cake he has made for her to be comforting cos cute nerd] Janis: [what a sweet boy] Jimmy: [when that's about the extent of your cooking ability bless him] Janis: ['you're so-' does 🙏 hands to show 😇] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [she sits she sips] Jimmy: [likewise just drinking that tea] Janis: [just shrugging 'cos gotta be blase like this is so casual and matter of fact okay 'my sister did run away, like, but then she had a car crash so, dead now'] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ???!! cos what can you even say 'shit, sorry' so awks] Janis: ['was four years ago so it's whatever'] Jimmy: ['did she leave 'cause of all that bollocks with your sister and cousin?'] Janis: ['partially but Janis: 'partially but-' sighs 'she was fucked up because she weren't my dads, third kid in and white, not an easy time'] Jimmy: [just looking at her cos even if you have heard that rumour you'd have thought it was too ridiculous to be true] Janis: [nods like yeah, I know] Jimmy: ['I get why you don't wanna be here, it were like that for us before we moved an' all' a shrug too because obvs also so casual for you] Janis: ['people must've had a field day' sympathetic look 'probably why I said yeah, to the plan, why I give a shit what people say still' shakes her head 'stupid but'] Jimmy: [when you're just having a moment remembering what it was like and you have to shake yourself out of it cos not about you rn 'people are twats, no dickhead but Ian's loving that kind of attention' gives her a look like you're not stupid] Janis: [giving him a nudge like sorry but not wanting to say it 'cos what use is it] Jimmy: [giving her one back as a shameless excuse to then just lean into her shoulder with his for an age like it's not a hug it's so casual bye] Janis: [leaning into it too, which is good 'cos voice is strained now 'cos emotions 'but she thought it was fucked up too, what they're doing, what they all do, she got it, you know'] Jimmy: [nodding cos he agrees that it is fucked up and is also having many emotions but eye contact anyway because wants her to know he gets it and is not going anywhere even though he doesn't know what to do or say about any of this really] Janis: [maintaining even though you'd be trying really hard not to cry for a hot sec there before being so meh it's chill again 'cos easier lbr 'know this is a lot but otherwise you'll just think I'm even weirder, yeah'] Jimmy: [touching her hair for literally no reason like is it even in the way, probably not 'everyone's got something that makes them weird, but you're alright an' all, got loads more shit going for you that counts towards that'] Janis: ['I don't wanna mess this up' and then going in on a kiss 'cos that'll fix this] Jimmy: [letting it happen even though you probably shouldn't because you just wanna make her feel better and also don't want her to think you think she's weird/you don't want her anymore when you obvs love her] Janis: [will stop at a kiss 'cos it'd be clear he weren't into it like per and we don't need that to be a thing for either of you] Jimmy: ['I ain't gonna let you mess this up if you don't let me either' holds his hand out like shake on it with me cos nerd] Janis: [is like 😏 really? but does] Jimmy: [then draws a heart on her with his fingertip like he did at Cali's but on her palm this time after the handshake] Janis: ['you really are the biggest nerd though' but 😍] Jimmy: ['piss off' but a little genuine smile] Janis: ['still like you anyway'] Jimmy: [😏 a look like yeah? and a IRL 👍 because committed to being a nerd now] Janis: ['don't push it, mate'] Jimmy: [playfully pushes her but really soft] Janis: [playfight forever] Jimmy: [just 😍 the whole time like] Janis: ['you really are so'] Jimmy: ['I like you so much'] Janis: [nods 'cos words are risky] Jimmy: ['I- I love you so much'] Janis: ['I love you too, Jimmy'] Jimmy: [gotta just hide your face in a snuggle because dying]

1 note · View note

wee-chlo · 5 years

Text

Feelings About the Hargreeves( Major Spoilers)

I have feelings, here they are.

Luther (Number One): I know a lot of people dislike Luther and while he’s hardly my favorite, I do feel genuinely bad for him. I feel like he emphasized the fact that he was sent to the moon and tried to be the leader despite his obvious lack of maturity because he kinda knew he just... wasn’t leadership material, and maybe he had a suspicion that the moon thing wasn’t up to snuff either. He was desperate to matter, desperate for everything he allowed himself to go through to mean something, and ultimately... it didn’t. He wanted to be a son to Reginald rather than just Number One and he couldn’t be because Reginald wasn’t capable of having that kind of relationship, for whatever reason. So he tried to be Number One because that’s what Reginald valued. The biggest reason for his failure in the latter portion of the season is, I think, an inability to truly make a decision. With Vanya, he wavered. Instead of really settling on one decision or another (offering her understanding, forgiveness, and support vs killing her outright), he opted for a short term option that I think saved his pride and conscience at the expense of everyone around him. He didn’t want to kill Vanya (understandable) but he was also angry and scared and unsure of whether or not he could trust her (also understandable). Luther needs to learn how to make firm decisions based on his own moral compass, rather than hesitating or opting for his father’s twisted version of right and wrong. I genuinely think he could be a good leader of he manages this.

Diego (Number Two): Diego is just... really interesting to me. In all honesty, I have an instinctive love of characters who fall into the demographics I’m a part of so that might be a bit of it but it’s also really interesting how Diego was the most vocal and caustic about his loathing for Reginald while also still doing what Reginald had them doing, but wholeheartedly and with a genuine desire to be a force for good. While Luther tries to be a hero for his father’s approval, Diego does it because it’s the right thing to do. He’s still bitter and angry and prone to that sort of chaotic fervor that puts him on the wrong side of the law, but he wants to be a hero as much as Luther does, just for different reasons. If Luther doesn’t step up to be the leader, I think Diego is the next best choice and if Luther does manage to take charge in a real and genuine way, Diego would be the perfect second-in-command/Lancer. He feels so passionately but he’s got a very Chaotic Good nature to him. When I think of him, I think of the line from Red Dead Redemption where John Marston is told he’s a romantic pretending to be a cynic. Diego is bruised by what he suffered as a child, he’s violent and doesn’t play by the rules and is perhaps the most likely to go to extremes, but when he comes down to it, he still believes in superheroes. He still admires people who look into the darkness of the world and see the light. And I think that’s because deep down, he’s the same way.

Allison (Number Three): I had to watch a couple times for Allison to really sink in for me (honestly she and Luther were the least interesting for me the first time around but given how much of their arcs were wrapped around their romance subplot...) but I think it’s interesting how the two female members of the group are the ones who were probably the most harmed by Reginald’s refusal to really impress on them any moral code when it comes to the use of their powers. All of the group is emotionally stunted and hindered by their upbringing, but Allison’s is one of the more subtle ones, at least at first. Initially, she seems like the most accomplished and well put together, until you realize that she’s fallen back on her power her whole life. She’s used it for fame, for fortune, for love. It’s the easy way out and it wasn’t until she was forced to see the impact it had on the people that she loved that she really realized what it meant to abuse it. Unfortunately, this means that virtually everything about her life is thrown into question. I think someone (Vanya?) suggests she used her powers on Reginald. She used her powers on her child. She used her powers to get someone to fall in love with her, and I think it’s notable that it’s left ambiguous who it was. Was it her husband? Or Luther?

Klaus (Number Four): Klaus, my love, my favorite. I’m pretty shameless when it comes to adoring characters like Klaus. Klaus starts off directionless and rather impossible to rely on (being related to several addicts/alcoholics, this isn’t surprising to me). But then comes his time with Dave in Vietnam. I think despite how painful it was, the whole debacle brought the best of him to the surface, because after that, he’s so. Kind. Before that there’s a bit of an edge to him. He’s wild and chaotic and friendly, sure, but there’s an undercurrent that he’ll be gone the second he feels like leaving, or when he needs his next fix. Probably because he knows that it won’t matter when or if he leaves because his family won’t notice or care. He’s always emotional, his voice always has a very sing-song quality, but after Vietnam he’s always the first to reach out to comfort or reassure. He looks heartbroken when Luther breaks down and comforts him despite having been assaulted by him moments before, and he’s the only one to comfort Luther when they find Allison. He instinctively tries to catch Diego when Diego collapses at the sight of a needle, desperately tries to put Vanya’s fear into perspective and seems less than thrilled when the time comes to attack her, constantly tries to get everyone on the same page even when Ben warns him it won’t go well. After Vietnam, it seems like he tries to do for others what he wants others to do for him, and I desperately hope that support is given to him in season two.

Number Five: What a prickly pear. Initially, Five was a complicated one for me, almost as complicated as Luther. I found him more interesting than Luther but his constant dismissal of his family, while understandable, still bothered me. I felt for him though, and his actor did an amazing job. A man out of time, initially only learning about his family’s eventual fates through a book and whose memories are of children, shoved back into their lives and seeing how dysfunctional and broken they are. Combined with the knowledge that they tried to stop the apocalypse and failed, it must have been bitterly disappointing. I have to wonder if maybe his first thought hadn’t been “I’ll go back and help them fight and we’ll win”, and then he gets back and finds them the way they are and his immediately kneejerk reaction was “nevermind”. But the sad thing is that he’s not only equally incapable of functioning well enough to stop the apocalypse alone (as Klaus so astutely points out, he’s addicted to mission in a very real and self-defeating way), he also... basically causes it with the time snap that occurs in The Day That Wasn’t. Obviously he loves his family and I get the impression that he WANTS to be able to work with them, he WANTS them to be a team, but just... isn’t really capable of interacting with people anymore, for a variety of reasons. He gets better, obviously, but more than just being a 58 year old in a 13 year old body with siblings who are much younger than him, he’s also equally damaged while also being... incapable or unwilling to admit it.

Ben (Number Six): I really liked Ben but honestly expected more screen time, given how much tumblr loves him. The flashback at the bank broke my heart and the fact that he was the glue that held everyone together was both clear and understandable. I want to learn more about him because right now, I don’t have a ton of thoughts about him aside from the fact that I love his relationship with Klaus. It’s both a relief that Klaus has SOMEONE while also pretty realistic in terms of the fact that there are moments where Ben has obviously had it. Having a family member who’s an addict is incredibly difficult; I’ve seen the effect it has on my mother, who currently has to keep her eye on my uncle, who’s been on and off the wagon frequently for a very long time. There’s only so much gentleness you can manage before things get stern and unrelenting. And sometimes, being something firm and solid is necessary.

Vanya (Number Seven): Can I get an OOF? My feelings on Vanya are very mixed; predominantly sympathetic, but mixed. Obviously a huge amount of responsibility for the whole situation sits with Reginald and Harold. Reginald, much like with Allison, failed to do anything to instill any kind of responsibility or empathy when it comes to Vanya’s powers, and failed to impress upon her any real respect for human life early on (which makes me wonder how she went from thoughtlessly murdering babysitters to crying whenever her siblings stepped on ants). When he was unable to control her, he obliterated her self-esteem, drugged her, and brainwashed her into submission. Then Harold came along and abused her and manipulated her even more, making her think someone considered her special because of who she was and then turning around and ripping it away. Her snapping was understandable, her anger was justified. But her reaction to her siblings? Eh. She was well aware of how damaged they all were because of Reginald; she wrote a book about it after all. And honestly, the bit where she was walking through and remembering being ‘rejected’ by her siblings... Let me tell you, as an older sister, none of that came across as particularly abusive or rude. Sibling just walks into your room, especially if you’re both like... twelve? You’re gonna tell them to get out. My cousins and I grew up together and were CONSTANTLY giving each other a hard time. And the boys telling her you need a power to go on a mission? Completely valid. They go on missions with armed adults trying to kill them; given that they all thought Vanya was a normal person, her coming along would be both a distraction AND put Vanya in serious danger.

Ultimately, I think Vanya’s breakdown was a mix of absolutely valid anger at genuine abuse and a very childish hurt that was thrown into a different light based on everything else, as well as never really being shown how to regulate her emotions. I hope she gets help and support, because I think she could be great. But the family’s ability to provide that... I don’t know.

#the umbrella academy #tua #luther hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #number five

27 notes · View notes

amandayuebing · 5 years

Text

My Life is Very Shoujo Manga, Chapter 2: Mal, you cheeky little liar...

I’m writing right now from UNSW’s judo dojo, just across the hall from the kendo competition going on right now, as I wait for the competition to wrap up so I can go out on a date with my boyfriend. I’m excited!

There’s been a bit of a gap between my last post and writing/publishing this one because I need to admit to you guys, I’ve been having my dreaded perfectionism paralysis… And I’ve been procrastinating by watching “Jane the Virgin” on Netflix-- omg it’s such a great show!! If you haven’t watched it yet, you should give it a go.

And ironically, “Jane the Virgin” is also about a writer who sometimes gets perfectionism paralysis (except my story doesn’t involve an accidental artificial insemination or a rich, hot, baby-daddy (yet 😉 oh ho ho...), and I’m writing this story mostly for fun, and not as an aspiring writer.

I just want you guys to be able to see my story the way I see it— how crazy, but amazing it’s been! How so many times I’ve questioned in my life, “is this really happening?! It sounds straight out of the plot of something ridiculously fiction...” Like a… that’s right! Shoujo manga.

But, yes. What better background to write about the memories of when I first started kendo then to be directly opposite a kendo competition? I can literally smell the kendo in the air right now. (Thank god the judo dojo has its windows open, on this hot, stinking day...)

Let’s jump in!

Once my first kendo class finished, I knew it wouldn’t be a week later until I’d see our favourite kendo club president, Tony, again. I was looking forward to that day, but at the same time dreading it because of how terrible I was that first class. Plus I was starting to have doubts. Doubts like:

1) This is silly… How can you be so interested in somebody when you don’t even know them yet…? Like what do you actually like about him?

2) Do you guys even have anything in common…? Like, you’re one of the least athletically gifted people you know. No, you ARE the least athletically gifted person you know. How many frisbees did you take to the head during P.E. class? How did you even get into law school with all those frisbees to the head?!

3) What if he has a girlfriend…? Surely a cutie like him cannot be single…

(These are summarised. But when I go into moments of doubt, they just spiral everywhere!)

My main concern was if we were each other’s type… But who was I kidding? I was concerned about everything LOL. I am an obsessive over-thinker!

But man, what better way to crush your doubts about your crush than for your best friend to force you stand righhtt in front of your crush, the university kendo club president (and dojo steward) while he’s leading the whole class for warm-up, and let him and the entire class watch you embarrass yourself. Again. (Mal last lesson: “I won’t do anything bad…” Uh huh, Mal 😒... really?)

I was probably even worse this class because that warm-up? I didn’t get it at all... Tony stood in front of us stretched leaning to the right, and I wasn’t sure whether I was meant to lean to his right or mine. I chose a side. Apparently the wrong side.

Tony cracked up.

For a second, I was mortified. It was so embarrassing! But then I couldn’t help it. I cracked up! Which made him crack up.

“Oh my god... I am going to get my ass KICKED, or get KICKED OUT of this class for sure!” I cringed.

Luckily that didn’t happen.

But I did try my best during that class. And also did my best not to be a distraction to Tony or the rest of the class who wanted to learn... I mean, I really wanted to learn too! I had a freaking stalker! I needed to look like a bad-ass!!

Oh, that’s right! I haven’t told you guys about my stalker!

So before Tony and I met, I had a stalker who had been following me around for about a year... He was still stalking me at the time I joined kendo. So, when Mal and the girls at the kendo stand tried to convince me to learn how to be a bad-ass and defend myself by hitting people with a big-ass stick?! Hell yeah, it sounded like a sign!

My stalker was a guy who lived in the same on-campus building as I did. Let’s call him... Russell. Russell was significantly older than me (at least 10 years older?), followed me by popping up at unwanted times (he somehow managed to pop up so frequently, and in such unexpected places), and would not leave me alone, even though I expressed I was uncomfortable around him.

He would approach me at very inappropriate times e.g. When I was walking home with groceries alone as the sun was just starting to set (this is actually what happened the first time we met); when I was alone on elevators; in an alleyway, as I was late-night Christmas shopping with just my female cousin, and basically any time... And his intention was definitely to have a threatening and sinister presence around me, as he would not go away when asked.

Obviously, after that, I would try to limit the amount of time I was alone. But the difficulty was the fact he would only appear when I was alone or in the company of just another female. Never when I was with a male, or in a group of friends. So some of my closest friends doubted he even existed, or that he was as sinister as I felt he was.

“I’ve never seen someone around that fits that description…”, “There are heaps of people who look like that. How do you know it’s the same guy or you’re just freaking out about every time someone talks to you that looks like that?”, “Maybe it’s a coincidence he turns up at those times?” “Take it as a compliment…”

But what isn’t sinister about a man staring intensely, directly at me, as an elevator door was closing because I refused to get in with him. Or him stepping out of that empty elevator to stand, wordlessly, facing me, within a couple inches. Staring down at me as I waited in the lobby for the next elevator, while there was ample room for him to stand elsewhere. And him moving closer when I took steps away from him, uncomfortably.

Then, when two elevators arrive, one slightly after the other, and I saw him definitely walk towards the one that arrived first, and I ran to take the one that he wasn’t riding so I could hurry and close the door, then have him lunge towards the elevator I was on and wait until he’s last to press his floor button, despite being the closest to the buttons... Him pressing a floor above everyone else’s (even though you know he lives on a lower floor because he told you the first time you met).

Remembering all this is honestly giving me chills...

Around this time, just as I was starting kendo, the stalker situation was getting worse. Just three days after I joined, I was studying in one of the common areas of my university housing apartment, while Dad slept on a couch nearby, I ran into my stalker, again. It was honestly so unpleasant. I had just walked out of the bathroom when I saw him walk out of the elevator.

When he saw me, his head turned slowly and smirked, and followed me back to my desk where I had been studying.

He started the conversation with a creepy, “heyyyy,” and honestly I don’t remember what else he talked to me about because I just told him angrily, “leave me alone,” repeatedly, and my dad sat up sleepily. I heard Russell murmur an “oh..” before dashing off to the elevators and disappeared.

But back to kendo. (Okay, I am going to be honest and tell you guys early on: if you guys are here to read about awesome and exciting recounts of kendo matches, this isn’t it.)

When the class ended, Mal wanted to stay back a little and get to know the people a little more… (Reminder: “I won’t do anything too bad... Promise” -- Mal, the previous class.)

We talked to a bunch of people, but I got to particularly talk to a girl named Marianne. She was really nice, but something about her gave me this bad vibe...

She introduced me to a couple named Ivan and June, and introduced them as “another” couple in the kendo club. But what was odd was she didn’t explain who the first couple was... Then she introduced Tony as her “punching bag”, and asked him, “isn’t she cute?” (referring to me). And I mean, obviouslyyy he answered “yes, she is” 😉😉 (internal me: *flower pose* 😌🌸). I thought I saw just a flash of jealousy cross her face, but she smiled at Tony sweetly.

I thought Marianne was nice and there were things I liked about her personality, like how bold and self-assured she seemed, and how she genuinely seemed friendly.

Everything we’d been talking about up until that moment Tony joined in seemed so genuine and I— I knew I had a habit of overthinking, but at the same time, when you get a feeling about something, there’s usually a reason for it, right?

At this moment I felt clues for my 3 doubts being answered:

1) What do I like about him? After two lessons, I could still see the positive things I saw him the first time we interacted. How he’s serious about what he does, but doesn’t take himself too seriously. How he’s kind, patient, sweet, charming..... Yeah, yeah, you guys don’t really want me to go on.

2) Am I his type? Yes, yes, I think! Chance to celebrate anyway.

3) Does he have a girlfriend...? Well......... Although Marianne didn’t outright claim him, it felt like she kinda was. But there was no harm in getting to know him (and her), and I would back off if I needed to... The thought of that made me a little sad, because although we’d just met, I was starting to really like him.

With so much going on, I had so much to think about, and as I was walking home sometime after 10pm, Tyler messaged me with “hey AManda” but I ignored him. What is with this guy and his bad timing?!

(I haven’t explained who Tyler is yet, but you guys will find out soon.)

1 note · View note

kasunex · 6 years

Text

Aikoto Week Late Masterpost

So you’re probably thinking to yourself: “Kasu! Aikoto week was a year and a half ago! Why didn’t you do it then, why are you doing it now?”

The answer to the first question is because the summer of 2016 was one of the most exhausting and grueling times of the past few years. I had a ton going on in a very short period, so this whole deal slipped my mind for a long while. As to why I’m doing it now, well…because I want to! And it’s 3/5, so the timing seemed right.

1. Which is your favorite official Aikoto illustration?

I know I’m cheating, but it’s probably one of these. There’s soooo many good ones, so it’s tough to pick.

2. When did you start shipping Aikoto and why? What made you first love the pairing?

Well, when I played through Persona 3 for the first time (back in December of 2012) I was spoiled of a few plot details by my cousin. He told me the main character “died with a robot girl”, which I thought was odd, but interesting.

Cut ahead and as much as I’m enjoying P3 come the Yakushima Trip (I’d been playing all but literally non-stop) I’m just not really interested in any of the potential love interests. They’re attractive, sure, but none of them really seem to have any sort of interesting relationship with Makoto. Yukari’s one-sided crush is the closest thing, and even there, her excuse for liking him felt forced. Then we get to Aigis, and her relationship with Makoto is exactly what I hoped for. It develops naturally, it’s based off a mutual need, it feels reciprocal.

By the end of the game, I was shipping them, hard. I wanted to see them together and every scene between them had me on the edge of my seat. It really made me feel apprehensive towards how they’d handle Makoto’s death.

3. What is your favorite aikoto moment?

The lap pillow scene.

While the hug scene from the movies is my second choice, the lap pillow scene was a godsend. Not just because it gave us our most undeniable place to point when people question whether or not Makoto returns Aigis’ feelings, oh no. It killed off Makoto in perhaps the most heartfelt, bittersweet way possible. Hashino evidently based the scene off his own near-death experience with his wife and the genuine nature shows. Combined with Kimi no Kioku, it was the first and so far only video game ending to make me outright cry - and it has almost every time I’ve replayed it as well. It’s by far the best ending to any game I’ve ever played. 4. How do you feel about the different depictions of Aikoto throughout the games, movies, musicals, manga?

I haven’t seen the musicals nor have I read the manga, so I won’t comment on either of those.

As for the games, both The Answer and Persona Q did expand just a bit on the dynamics established or hinted at in the original game, though I was disappointed by the former portraying Aigis as rather bland emotionally. In the movies, meanwhile, Aikoto was the strongest, when it was actually given focus. While that does show where some of my disappointments in the movies lay, they thankfully do expand much more upon Makoto’s side of the dynamic, which had to be kept more subtle in the games to fit the whole “silent protagonist bit”. It helps to fill in some of the gaps that the game left.

I’m aware that some fans argue that each adaptation is separate, but I personally see the games and the movies as complimenting one another.

5. Do you have any head canons about the couple that you’d like to share?

Headcanon is a bit of a tricky term here, but some of my favorite ideas about them are…

1) Aigis has no interest in romancing anyone else once Makoto passes. She stays true to his memory and tries to live her life to the fullest.

2) Makoto goes with Mitsuru and Aigis to the summer festival and gives Aigis a Christmas present sometime after her return to the dorms.

3) Although this one was shown in the movies a bit, I like to think of the two of them as devoted battle partners who go on “Tatarus Dates” where they kill shadows together. I’ve even done a few of them in my playthroughs!

6. What kind of things would you expect from Aigis and Makoto had he lived? What do you think their future would’ve been like?

I think they would have stayed together and probably gradually become a more traditional couple as Aigis comes to further accept herself. Maybe the two would have worked and attended college together. It’s tough to say what sort of path Makoto would have gone down, but I’m sure Aigis would have been right there with him. I’d imagine sex would be somewhat of a challenge for them, but that’s what fleshlights are for, have Mitsuru install one in her and bamn good to go I’m sure they’d be able to manage. They could probably adopt a kid if they ever wanted one.

7. What is your favorite thing about the pairing?

My favorite thing about Aikoto is, and has always been, the emotional layer it adds to the story. This is a great way to have your character’s death meaningful - give it a natural romance, full of potential, cut short by tragedy. Persona 3 is a story about coming to terms with death, and if Aikoto wasn’t a part of it, the impact wouldn’t have been quite as strong.

#Aikoto Week #Persona 3 #Aikoto #Makoto Yuki #Aigis #kasu.txt

27 notes · View notes

feywildatheart · 6 years

Text

Nenîth,

We’ve had a fairly quiet week — well, a mostly quiet week — and I was hoping that having this time might help me get my head around things better, but honestly I think it’s just made it worse.

After that terrible conversation about Mezeru, the topic thankfully turned to other things, and Elyn suggested we might want to stop holding our cards quite so close to our chest and think about trusting someone with the information of what we’ve been doing here and what we hope to do still, and we agreed that Tirine Larchbright was a good choice, and so Pika led us to his home without even stopping to send him a message to see if he was home, or if he was open to unexpected visitors.

Thankfully, he was — the first, at least, and if not the second, then he covered it well. We asked if he might have access to court records, so we could try to prove that Dehi had been falsifying them. He said he could try, though he seemed to be trying to make sure we didn’t get our hopes too high about that, so I’m not sure if anything will come of it. But he also said that he and Thistle and Hagi had noticed a pattern in the papers we’d given them, that we’d stolen from Paha Qasri’s warehouse. It was just a pattern, a suggestion, not proof and he said that if he had more documents it might help him fill the picture in better, and we discussed the possibility of trying to get back into the warehouse but I think we were all understandably nervous about that prospect. Paha Qasri may have been hopelessly inept about security, but even he couldn’t possibly fail to tighten it up after a break-in like ours, right? And it’s been a few days anyway, surely he would have moved anything incriminating by now. Right?

We went back to the Court of Flowers to talk through our options, and to fret if I’m honest, because we didn’t really have much in the way of good ones. And then we got a message from Snapdragon that Pika’s son’s nursemaid would speak with us, which derailed us from that line of consideration quite neatly, and threw us right onto a new one. And so we arranged that, with Pika’s consent if not quite blessing, and while we waited for the agreed-upon day and time, I took myself off to see Daisy and ask if she might direct me towards the sort of craftsmen who might work in such fine fabrics, and who might be commissioned to make goods for such aristocratic households. She requested a moment and conferred with a friend of hers named Petunia, who made an introduction and gave her the name and address of a weaver that does business with the wealthy and elite, and so we went there and met a very kind Gnomish woman named Ah’siya who showed me about her shop and asked what I was looking for, and when I explained that I was interested in purchasing a loom, she contacted her brother-in-law, who’d made the looms that she uses there, and he came to meet with me.

They were both very kind and very patient with me, in explaining both the art and the technology so I might better understand and articulate what I was looking for. And in the end, Zef agreed to bring some looms by the Court that he thought matched what I was seeking, and named a price that would’ve made me deflate a few months ago, but we can afford it easily now, especially after the generosity of the Fesdis.

We agreed that he would bring them by in a few days’ time, and I purchased a few yards of a lovely light sunrise-colored fabric from Ah’siya to thank her for her time, and then returned to the Court to confer with the others and make sure they wouldn’t mind such a purchase. And lest you start to think that a few weeks in fancy society has completely changed me, let me reassure you that the loom isn’t meant for me. You may recall, perhaps, me writing you when we were back on Nosirion-1, about Niko, the paladin we met (the one who nearly struck me with a halberd to the face, I’m sure you remember that part) who was a weaver back on her home plane, but who’d had to flee with only a backstrap loom to continue to practice her art. She was quite innovative with the art back on her own plane too, it sounded like, and so I saw those lovely sheer curtains and remembered the incredibly scarf that she’d showed us, that she’d made herself, and thought that while it couldn’t replace her own looms that she’d left behind, perhaps it might give her a start here, or at least something bigger and with more utility than a backstrap loom to resume practicing her art. I made sure to explain to Zef, when he was asking what I was looking for, that I wanted something that had the ability to be customized, so she might continue her innovations if she wished it, and sent a letter off to Alorvin too, to make sure that such a gift wouldn’t be taken amiss.

With that done, and with Elyn and Pika in agreement that it was a fine way to spend some of this gold we’ve earned (though Elyn quite sensibly cautioned that we’d want to make sure we were able to ship it anonymously), we didn’t have too much longer to wait before we met with the nursemaid who’s been caring for Pika’s child while she’s been unable and Dehi’s been unwilling.

She clearly loves him, which I think was a relief to all of us, and says that he’s a bright and clever child but a lonely one. She said he cares for his father the way that children do for a distant parent, which made Pika tense up as though the woman had drawn a weapon on her, but without the history and betrayal that Pika has suffered clouding my eyes, I think I can see that. Children want to love their parents, and be loved, and I could see how a distant but not outright abusive one might just make that yearning stronger. Of course we all understand that neglecting him is just as damaging an abuse as if Dehi had raised a hand to him, maybe more so, but he’s a child, and he lost his mother. Of course he wants his father’s love.

The nursemaid also said that she’s told the boy, when he’s asked, that she’s looking over him until his mother can return to him, which I think made us all have to take a moment to wipe a tear from our eyes. She’s also concerned about what we intend to do with him once Pika’s regained custody, and I’d say she’s well within her rights to. We’ve certainly done little to demonstrate any sort of stability for a growing child, what with our running around trying to destabilize corrupt judicial systems and everything. But Pika said that her mother would care for him, and Elyn seemed to mull the question over long after we left, and the fact that we didn’t immediately dismiss her concern seemed to mostly satisfy her that we were taking it seriously and not planning to just set the boy up in a room on a ship and go galavanting about the universe with him in tow.

All in all, I’d say it was a very beneficial meeting, if an emotionally wrought one, and it left us all rather drained by the time we returned to our rooms at the Court. None of us seemed to feel up to doing much of anything more than we already had, and so it wasn’t until the next day that we went to see Thistle and Hagi again, and see if they’d learned anything more from those documents.

They gave us a few names that they said were implicated by the contents of the boxes, including Paha Qasri’s cousin — a different cousin than the one who’s the head of the family — and a member of the Dehi family, though not Alban, as well as a few others. They said, too, that more files would be helpful to them in helping to get a better sense of what’s been happening and who’s involved, and so with some trepidation, we decided to disguise ourselves again — differently, and including me, this time — and go have lunch in the industrial district where we might once again spy on the warehouse unnoticed and see if we could determine if Paha Qasri had increased the security, or abandoned it, or what.

I started to smell smoke on the air as we neared the industrial district, and at first thought little of it. People make fires for warmth or cooking all the time, after all. But it got stronger as we got closer, and the dread sitting in my stomach got heavier, until we turned onto the street where the warehouse and the pub both were — or had been, because we found ourselves staring at only a smoldering pile of burnt-down rubble where the warehouse had been.

We stood as a unit and stared at it in shock for a moment, and I’m sure I muttered some sort of oath, before Pika gave both Elyn and I sharp looks and we remembered where we were, and we made a bit of a show of lamenting the fact that we weren’t going to be able to get lunch at our favorite pub after all, and oh well, since we’re here we might as well find someplace else close by, hadn’t we. And so we found such a place and got food and ate and tried not to show what a blow we’d just been struck, and despite our disguises on our way out we were stopped by a red-haired dwarven man who introduced himself as Dune, and said he works for Lady Qasri, and that she wanted to speak with us, which I’m sure you can imagine had all of us startled and nervous and on-edge.

We warily questioned him a bit more, and relaxed a little (though not entirely) when he said that Lord Fesdi had suggested that she have a conversation with us. Elyn suggested we find somewhere semi-public to meet, and Dune gave her a card with contact information and some sort of tamper-evident security that marked us as invited guests (I don’t quite understand how that all worked, but Elyn seemed fairly impressed by it all), and said that we could meet with her at her residence or at the Court of Flowers, at our preference. Elyn refrained from committing one way or another and said that we’d be in touch, and so Dune took his leave, and left us more than a little rattled by the whole exchange.

We went back to the Court of Flowers to discuss our options. Pika seemed reassured by the business card, but Elyn seemed as nervous as I about the whole prospect. Dinain Heru had said that she didn’t think it likely that Lady Qasri had been involved in the theft of the Fesdi’s necklace, but I don’t think either of us were entirely comfortable gambling our lives on that.

We decided to meet with Lady Qasri at her compound, just in case there was going to be trouble, since we didn’t want to bring any of it to the Court of Flowers. Or, any more of it than we already have. And we also took some precautions, just in case this all went terribly wrong. Elyn made sure that people knew where we were going and who we were meeting with and when we ought to return, and I wrote up everything we’d learned so far and set it on a delay to send to Athan, so that if the worst happened and we didn’t come back, not only would someone know where we’d been but someone would know what we’ve spent all this time and effort learning, too. And someone off-planet, to boot, because after all the intrigue and subterfuge we’ve discovered running through the city, I didn’t trust just sending it to one of our friends here in Mashoy. If harm were to befall us because of all this, what was to stop the person responsible for it from doing the same to whoever we told? So I set my LICD to send what we’d learned to the other side of the galaxy if I didn’t return in time to cancel it, and I made sure to leave my LICD behind and tuck it somewhere hidden in my room, just in case someone came looking for it. And just for good measure, I strapped my dagger to my thigh as well, since we were dressing up as nice as we were able to meet with nobility, and Elyn and I both made a point of wearing our scarves with the embroidery that marked us as under the protection of the Court of Flowers, and we left to go meet with Fusaha Qasri.

It was as lovely a compound as the Fesdis had been, and as impressive, and we were led into a receiving room where Lady Qasri was waiting for us. I let Elyn do most of the talking for us, since she’s far better at it than I am and far more willing to do it than Pika. Fusaha asked us — asked Elyn, really — a little about breaking into Paha Qasri’s warehouse, and said that she wanted to hire us to find out exactly what her cousin was up to, and who might have been behind it. She said what we’ve already pretty well figured out for ourselves, that Paha isn’t exactly the sharpest arrow in the quiver, and that she doubted he’d been the one to make the plan, even if he’d been the one to carry out the theft. Elyn said that, with the warehouse and no doubt its contents burned down, we’d lost our best chance of learning more, but that we’d tell her more if we learned anything. She also said that while the matter of the necklace and the theft was entirely the business of her family and the Fesdi’s, that the matter of the documents was going to come to light eventually, and we couldn’t make any promises about what would be found there. She seemed to understand and accept that, though when Elyn mentioned that her other cousin also seemed to be implicated along with Paha, she was understandably incensed, and seemed to intend to follow up on that once she’d finished speaking with us.

She also said that when she’d learned of what Paha had done, she’d had him confined on the family estate and his rooms searched, and that sh’d turned up a few more boxes of documents that he’d had stored there, which she was willing to give to us to help us prove that she’d had no part in her cousins’ plotting. Elyn very diplomatically told her that we couldn’t make any promises about what sort of information we’d turn up in the documents but that we’d speak on her behalf that she’d handed the documents over to us freely and willingly. She seemed to accept that, so I put the boxes into my bag of holding, and we were dismissed shortly after that and returned to the Court of Flowers, where we handed the boxes off to Thistle and Hagi, and went back to our rooms, to reassure people that we had returned and to cancel certain messages that had been scheduled to send, and to discuss our next steps, because while we’d been with Thistle and Hagi, they’d mentioned a party coming up in the next week, where some of the people implicated in the documents might be, and where we might be able to hopefully gain a little bit more information or insight into what’s going on, as members of the Court of Flowers (or visiting bards, in Elyn’s case) who are strangers to the city and aren’t known to have any sort of political leanings one way or another.

It seems we managed to garner the invitation to this party because Bird-of-Paradise will be escorting an invited guest there, and mentioned that Lady Daffodil was in town, with an apprentice, and also mentioned Elyn as an adventuring bard who might surely be an entertaining guest, and apparently Surya Fesdi put in a good word that greased the wheels as well. And so, we had a week to prepare for the rather terrifying prospect of this party, and Elyn decided rather quickly that she would be bringing her gloves, ostensibly so she could perform should any of the other guests ask her to, but also so she can conveniently forget to turn the recording off and document anything we overhear that might be incriminating.

Elyn told me I should just dance and smile and let my dance partners talk while I keep quiet, which I think sounds fine in theory but, if that last party was any indication, is going to prove a lot more challenging in practice. She also said that I was a good dancer but didn’t seem to consider the fact that the only dances she’s seen me do were Feywild dances, and I can’t imagine they’re going to do many of those in a fancy aristocratic Mashoy party. And so I took off to Daisy to ask her for instruction on Mashoy dances, and Elyn came with me to learn as well, and Daisy recruited Petunia for assistance, and also Mezeru, because of course she did. I almost have to wonder if Elyn or Pika put her up to it, just to prove their point.

It was excruciating, and not just because Elyn immediately claimed Petunia for her dance partner and left me with Mezeru, trying to figure out how to dance with him without swallowing my tongue or tripping over my feet — or his! — or blushing so furiously that I just combusted from it all.

I didn’t actually manage to not trip. I was concentrating very hard, but the steps are so complex, and I went left when I should have gone right and crashed into Mezeru and the two of us collided with Elyn and Petunia and we all went down in the most graceless tangle of limbs that I think the Court of Flowers has probably ever seen. We only injured our dignity, between the four of us, but even so. We spent the rest of the afternoon practicing, and eventually I think we managed at least one passable set, or maybe Daisy just took pity on us and declared it good enough. But in any case, by then it seemed like all of our feet were aching and I just wanted to go lie down for a few minutes or maybe soak my feet in a nice warm bath, but as we were starting to limp off Mezeru asked if he could speak with me, and Elyn, the traitor, promptly whisked everyone else out of the room so I was left alone with him, wishing the desert would just open up beneath my feet and swallow me whole.

He said he hoped he hadn’t done or said something to make me uncomfortable, which was, honestly, terrible, because he wasn’t the one who said it, but it seemed pretty obvious that I had upset him, or at least worried him, even though I’ve been trying so hard to pretend that Elyn and Pika never had that conversation with me and it’s all still been just the same as it was before.

And then he said, oh, he said so many things. That he thought maybe the reason for my being at the Court of Flowers was very different from his, which made me fear for an awful few minutes that I’d managed to blow our cover here, and that he liked me but that didn’t have to mean anything and we could just be friends, and all I could do at that was stare at him and wail, “You mean they were right?” which, well, he took pretty admirably in stride, all things considered. He’s going to be a great courtesan someday.

And then we had the worst conversation of my entire life, because all I could really do was flail about how do you know if you like a person, and he seemed at a loss about that and said that he just looked at a person and thought ‘well, I wouldn’t mind kissing them’, but honestly, isn’t that a pretty low bar? Shouldn’t there be at least a little more enthusiasm for the prospect? I mean, obviously he can kiss whoever he wants for whatever reasons please him, but I’d hope that if someone were going to kiss me, they’d feel a little more enthusiasm for the prospect than just not minding it.

None of which really helps me figure out how to know if I might like a person. Mezeru’s head sounds like a very nice place to inhabit, like his heart just steps up to him and politely clears its throat and says, “Yes, good morning. Just wanted to let you know, we like this person,” and it’s all nice and neat and obvious. Sometimes trying to know what’s in my heart feels the way I did back before you both sat me down and made me study Sylvan properly, like my heart just runs up and chatters at me with these strange syllables I can’t even manage to shape my tongue around and I have no idea what it’s trying to tell me even though it seems like it’s important, and all I can do is try to make out the gist of it but in all honestly I’m probably dead wrong, and the whole exchange is bewildering and terrifying and makes me want to go running back to hide in the safety and comfort of your arms, darna.

I don’t know how anybody does this. How did you know you liked each other? That you loved each other? Were you both like Mezeru, and knew your own hearts and minds easily? Elyn and Pika both seem to think it should be easy, too. Maybe I’m just the strange one (it’s not like it would be the first time), but I just can’t comprehend how it comes so easily to so many people.

Anyway, the conversation was the most painful, difficult, awkward thing I’ve ever experienced, and only made all the worse because halfway through it Pika dropped down out of the room’s air vents where she’d clearly been listening in on us, right in between Mezeru and me, and I’m just resigned to it at this point but obviously he’s not, and she startled him so badly that he toppled backwards in his chair (he was being very conscientious about making sure he sat while we talked so he wasn’t looming over me, he really is going to be a great courtesan; at this point I’m amazed that I didn’t give us all away the minute I strode through the doors of the Court). I helped him get back to his feet and apologized for her, and he said she was terrifying, which rather made me want to hug him, because oh gods, do I know that feeling well.

We commiserated over how terrifying she is for a short while and didn’t resolve anything, really, but Mezeru said we were friends and I agreed, because we are, and maybe at least now he won’t think that he did something wrong, at least. And the minute we were done I went back to our rooms and grabbed Squirt and we went out for a very, very long walk through the city, because I was starting to feel the way cylla does when it rains for too many days in a row, like my skin was too tight and I was just going to have to crawl my way right out of it if I didn’t find some way of expending all the restless energy pent up inside me.

So we walked and walked and walked, and I cast speak with animals so that I could talk to him while we did so, because he’s always the best company, and I’ve yet to encounter anything that he couldn’t cheer me up from. By the time we got back, Pika and Elyn both seemed to have gone to bed, which was all for the best. I think if I’d had to talk to even one more person that day (other than Squirt, obviously), I probably would have just sat down and started screaming, or maybe crying.

The next day neither Pika or Elyn asked me about it, which was an unexpected blessing, and Elyn and I went off to commission some nice dresses, since our wardrobes are rather thin on fancy party gowns. I also took along the fabric that I’d bought at Ah’siya’s and worked with her on designing a long vest-like layering piece out of it that I think would pair as well with my armor as it would with Court attire, and then at Elyn’s request I showed her the way back to Ah’siya’s so that she could buy some fabric to send home to her parents.

I also met with Zef, the loom-maker, to look over the example looms he’d brought and decide on one that will, I hope, provide Niko with a good starting point if she wants to continue her weaving innovations here like she had been doing back home. He talked a lot about dents and heddles and all sorts of other things that make as much sense to me as Orcish might, even though I’m sure he was speaking Common. But I’d explained to him what I could of Niko’s art, and how she’d been innovating it, and how I wanted her to be able to continue to do that with this loom, and he seemed to understand what I was saying and seemed to feel that the loom I chose would do right by her, and so I paid him for it, and to ship it to her as well, and so someday, I suppose, that will reach her, though I haven’t the faintest idea how long it’s going to take, considering how far we’ve traveled from Nosirion-1.

We also learned, just today, that a diplomat that Itamu Nadit had mentioned was coming to Mashoy during our tour was publicly humiliated, presumably, according to our friends, by someone working for a noble house. I don’t know why anyone would care so much about making improvements to the city when it seems like most, if not all, would benefit, but I don’t understand half the things these nobles do or care about. But somebody must feel strongly, because we also learned that Itamu Nadit was nearly assassinated just yesterday, and I truly can’t fathom why someone would want to kill an engineer, but he did say during our tour that the current ruler of Mashoy had previously held the position that Itamu holds now, so perhaps it’s someone trying to clear the way for themselves as they climb up the ranks?

There’s a lot we don’t know, and that doesn’t make the prospect of tomorrow’s party sit any easier. But at least I can take comfort in the knowledge that, whatever happens, it can’t possibly be as excruciating as my conversation with Mezeru was.

I’ll write to you soon, and let you know how the party goes, and how many toes I manage to step on, and whether I manage to bowl the whole dance floor over the way I did the four of us during practice.

I’d like to see them try their hands at Feywild dances, just once. It’d serve them right if I snickered, too.

I love you both, and I hope the Feywild is being kind to you, or as kind as it can be.

All my love,

Maliah

#dnd #in character: letters #in character

2 notes · View notes