#it was all down to the choices of governments--some governments chose to protect the lives of its citizens

[piracytheorist]

The Briar Siblings' Lies

It's very interesting that in the family of lies and secrets, the lies of the Briar siblings are included, and I'm pretty sure that will play a role whenever they find out about each other.

I expect Yor to be heartbroken and angry at Loid when she'll find out his lies, but I'd also expect her to be heartbroken and disappointed when she finds out how much Yuri lied to her.

Yor might have kept her own very dangerous secrets, but there are huge differences in their circumstances.

Yor took up her assassin gig when she was just a teenager, orphaned and with a little brother to take care of. Amidst the cold war brewing, there would be various criminal organizations looking for people to drag in, and a poor, desperate, kind, and almost supernaturally strong teenage girl was the perfect recruit for Garden.

Whether this is Garden's initiative or not, Yor has a strong determination to kill her targets as quickly and as painlessly as possible, along with avoiding unnecessary bloodshed. She has studied human anatomy specifically for this very reason, to be able to kill her victims with mercy. She's realistic about the situations she's in, but if talking things through is even a tiny bit possible, she'll give it a try.

Though her morals are slightly skewed for the average civilian - it's understandable to kill someone in self defense, but her main targets are situations where she plays judge, jury and executioner - she's still retained a lot of her humanity that allows her to be a kind person and a caring sister, mother and wife.

And then you have Yuri.

Yuri fell victim to a more sinister kind of indoctrination - extremism and bigotry. Having grown up in poverty caused by the war and the deaths of his parents, and having an overwhelming wish to protect his sister, he was the perfect target for Ostania's nationalistic propaganda.

But the tragic background leading up to this choice and the want to protect his family is where his similarities with Yor's case end.

Yuri wasn't left with no other choices. Yor was already supporting him financially when he started working for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and that was a job that he could stay at and be independent. He was older than Yor was when she became an assassin. I can assume that some underhanded methods were used to lead him into the duties of the SSS, but even so Yuri had more control of the situation, more choices to choose from, and more information at hand. It's directly opposite to Yor's circumstances.

Yuri tortures people. The SSS specifically want him, despite his young age and lack of experience, exactly because he won't hold anything back, even when it makes him feel conflicted.

The SSS may be taking advantage of the ease with which he tortures people, but it's still something Yuri willingly participates in - and again, considering the fame of the SSS among civilians, it's almost certain Yuri knew what he was getting into. He's giving up his own humanity, going down a path of "us vs. them" and while Yor plays judge on who gets to live, Yuri plays judge on who gets to be treated like a human being.

While two similarly dangerous and demanding professions, and (at least according to what Franky says) following the same government's orders, it's two highly different cases. I think Yuri will be mostly horrified to learn what Yor went through for his sake, but Yor will be very understandably heartbroken. Yuri could understand that Yor had no other choice, but Yor will know that Yuri had all the best choices right in front of him, and yet he chose this.

And it's why I believe this is the revelation that will hurt Yor more. She could explain Twilight's lies by the fact that they didn't know each other before, she could explain Anya's secrets by her young age and innocence, but there will be very little for Yuri to stand on - and the thing is, Yuri knows that. He knows that what he's chosen to become isn't what Yor raised him to be.

Currently he may be seeing himself as a martyr for his cause, that he needed to potentially break his sister's heart in order to protect her and "the country she lives in". He'd rather have her feeling heartbroken and betrayed by him than with her life and safety in danger. He'd rather her hate him than get hurt.

How will it hit him when he realizes she's already been doing the same for him, and has already been endangering her life for over a decade for not only his sake, but for the world in general too? When he realizes all the work he's been doing to protect her was in vain because she has been walking into danger herself all along?

It's a really interesting dynamic, because the revelation could either break them or make them. They both have a very heartwarming background together, they both love each other deeply, but it's a trial they'll both have to go through at some point.

(Anime only fan here, don't spoil me for the manga)

#Spy x Family #sxf meta #Yor Forger #Yuri Briar

[tightjeansjavi]

Burning in a Hopeless Dream

Boston QZ : Part 1

A/N: here we go mother fuckers, hope you are all buckled in and ready for this ride, it’s gonna be a wild one.

Summary: Joel hears your government name for the first time while you are waiting in line for your ration cards. He loves to get under your skin any moment he can. You give him hell for it.

~Word count: 920~

Warnings: a whole lot of swearing, Joel being mean, m/c not taking his shit. Mild violence (you hold a knife against his throat) sexual tension, mature themes (+18)

Song for this chapter: “Kiss With A Fist” by Florence + The Machine

___________

June 2020: Boston QZ

You were a ticking time bomb when it came to Joel Miller. He set you off over the littlest things and you weren’t even sure why you allowed him to get you so worked up. You hated the effect he had on you because it made you feel weak. You were not weak, not in the slightest and Joel never treated you any differently. Not when he was aware of your skills. Knives were your weapon of choice and he learned this quickly after you had thrown one at his head, grazing his eyebrow and leaving a permanent scar. From that day, he was impressed with your abilities and he liked the fact that you could handle your own.

He still found himself being protective over you despite this.

You were both in line to receive your rations for the day after working brutal hours. This was the first time you had worked a shift with Joel and you were already regretting it. He chose now out of all the hours you were together to give you shit.

“Hey darlin, think one of these days you can teach me how to throw a knife like that?” His voice was low against your ear as you stood in line for your rations.

“Not a fuckin chance in hell, Miller.” You shot back at him under your breath.

Your interaction caught the attention of a young Fedra soldier who gave you a look of disapproval. Like you gave a fuck about what some Fedra piece of shit thought of you.

“Careful darlin.” Joel drawled out. y’know how these fucks feel about language ‘round here.”

You knew he was toying with you as you chewed on the inside of your cheek then, feeling the bitter taste of copper on your tongue when you had bit down on the soft flesh a little too hard.

“Fuck you, Miller.” You whispered back.

Your government name was called out by the same Fedra soldier that gave you a look. “Gwendolyn Brooks.” He spoke in a monotone voice.

You took a small step forward then, snatching your ration cards from the soldier, looking him right in the eye. Despite your lack of height, you could be intimidating as hell, when it was necessary.

Stuffing your ration cards in your worn jacket pocket, you marched past Joel who stood there in disbelief. This was the first time he had heard your real name and after the tone you had previously taken up with him, there was no way he was gonna let you live this one down.

Snatching his rations cards in the same manner as you, he walked after you. Taking long strides to keep up with your quickness. “Your name is fucking Gwendolyn?” He mused, kicking at a stray piece of rubble beneath his worn boots. “Gwendolyn, Gwendolyn, Gwendolyn now what in the hell kinda name is—“

He was cut off by you shoving him back into an alley wall, knife drawn against his throat in a flash.

“Fucking say my name again Miller. Go on, see what the fuck happens next.” You spat out and lightly pressed the tip of the blade against his jugular to prove your point.

Joel held his arms up in defense then, a smirk slowly crawling onto his chapped lips. He could have turned the tables then, if he wanted to; and had you pinned, but he enjoyed seeing you get all worked up and flustered. It brought him pride knowing he had this effect on you.

“Easy now, doll. No reason to get so worked up.” He looked at you dead on as he spoke.

“If I were you, I’d lower that knife now, doll face. Don’t be stupid. Y’know how easy it would be for me to snap your neck? Takes seconds and then it’s lights fuckin out for you.”

You slowly lowered your weapon then. Your eyes never left his as you tucked it back into the holster around your waist before you had taken a step back from him. The close proximity was making your head spin and you needed to create that distance between you two quickly.

“Just as easy as it would be for me to slit your throat, Miller. Don’t ever fucking call me Gwendolyn again.” You spoke before turning on your heel and exiting the narrow alley.

Joel stayed flush against the wall for a moment then, catching his breath and muttering to himself about keeping his composure. He knew he was playing a dangerous game with you. Hell, he wasn’t even bothered by the fact that you had threatened him. In fact, it excited him to see you so feral. “Fuckin hell.” he muttered to himself as he pushed off the wall and followed after you once more.

“Won’t call you that again, doll. I promise. Nice to know that you have a real name after all. Never thought I’d get the joy of hearin it myself.” He spoke, a good foot behind you now.

“Were you expecting something a little more mainstream? Perhaps Jessica? Natalie? Rebecca?” You turned around slightly to look back at him as you spoke.

“Nope.”

“You don’t look like any of those. Not even close doll. Thank god honestly because there’s no way in hell I could be seen with a Jessica.” He chuckled then.

“Exactly. So you can call me doll, darlin or whatever the fuck else. Maybe one day you can call me Gwen but don’t get your hopes up.” You quipped back.

“We’ll see about that, doll face.” You could hear the smirk in his tone, every syllable he spoke sent your blood boiling.

“Game on, Miller. Game fuckin on.” You muttered to yourself as you started the trek back to his and Tess’s apartment; the sun brutally beat down on your backs. One thing was certain, June was a mother fucker and so was Joel Miller.

CHAPTER 2 :

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #joel miller fic #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #tlou #joel the last of us #joel tlou #tlou fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller x female oc #joel miller x f!oc

[imagionationstation]

Wha…?

Holy… Holy mother of mutations, that is a lot. This… Is a lot.

I don’t even know where to start? I was just told a bunch of aggressive facts, but none of them are followed with proof or logic. They were just… said…

@thatturtlemenece is clearly very passionate though, so I’ll do my best to clear things up. 💚💚

“Splinter should not have kids be around kids”? I would like clarification on what this means before I touch on it.

I am so, so sorry to hear that you have gone through abuse, and that it’s hurt you in such a way that you see it in other places. But as someone who has a similar family dynamic to the turtles and can honestly say that I bear no ill will to either of my parents, and would choose my siblings over anyone else in a heartbeat… 

Nothing about this is abuse.

See it from his POV. You grew up as a human. You know exactly what the government could do to creatures they don’t understand, and that if anyone were to see your baby boys, that would be the last time you ever saw them again. The government would take them, experiment on them, hurt them- these defenseless creatures that you have been caring for are now in the hands of scientists from the horror movies who couldn’t care less if they live or die. 

Imagine having that in the back of your mind for years. Imagine looking at your baby boys for years, watching them laugh and mature and grow up, imagine having that weight of responsibility on your chest- that the very second any of them have been spotted, you will lose your babies to a cruel world that could never understand that they are just as much people as every human out there. 

Wouldn’t you want to do anything in your power to protect them? 

But he won’t be there forever. He could go out one night for food and something could happen to him. He could die. He could be captured. And his little boys would be scared and all alone and journey to the dangerous, chaotic, unforgiving and unpredictable surface world totally defenseless. 

You can’t prevent your death, but you can try to prevent theirs.

You grew up as a ninja. You grew up with the honor of your clan. If you train them, if you help them prepare for the world ahead- they won’t have to be defenseless. They don’t have to be in danger, or at risk. They will be able to protect them selves and grow up and maybe even be happy despite being the freaks the world sees them as. They could survive another day, even without you there to help. 

Are you really telling me that you would chose not to train them? That would leave their hands to fate and just hope that nothing ever happens to you? That these precious little mutants that you’ve fed and named and protected at the risk of your life- you’d neglect the training given to you by your father and hope for the best?

Choosing between their innocence and their lives could seem like a hard choice. But in his own words, “As a leader, you will learn there is no right or wrong. Only choices.”

So he trains them. Not because he’s abusive or hateful or wants to carry on some legacy, not because he is selfish above all else- but because he needs them to be safe and to live their lives without having to fear. His most selfish part in this is needing his boys to be safe at the cost of their childhood, and keeping them down in the sewers despite their yearning to see the rest of the world. 

Unlike what RISE portrays, ninja skills can’t be learned in a day. Or two. Or five. They take a lifetime of training. And he needs his sons to be ready for when the cruelties of the world reach past the safe bubble he’s kept them in. He doesn’t know when that could be, so he started when they are old enough to learn.

He has to. It doesn’t matter what he wants. It matters what they need. 

And they need a fighting chance to live. 

Okay. Now that I’ve laid that all out…

I don’t understand what comparison is being made here. I think you’re saying 18, 12, and 03 should have Child Services called? 

I am inclined to agrees on 18, but I’m sure not everyone would agree with me. I can’t completely vouch for 03, but I think(?) I disagree.

As for 2012- what the hacking shell? Why?

Because you think he doesn’t properly feed his kids? Because they are turtles and eat algae and worms?

Donnie, the genius of his brothers, grows it in his lab. His brothers help him to collect it, as it’s stated in Metalhead Rewired. I’m pretty sure that eating worms and alegra is like eating spinach for me. I hate the stuff. It’s disgusting and tastes like crisp paper. I can’t eat it without gagging half the time. 

But it’s good for me, so I have to eat it sometimes. That’s possibly what alega is for the turtles. They eat alega for dinner because it’s a safe, nursing food that Donnie cares for and grows in his lab. They have an endless supply of it, and for all you know, on their mutation day, they had a low supply of human food.

They can’t go to a store. They can’t have it shipped to their home. The boys are not allowed out of the safety of their home, period. Which means Splinter is the only one that can collect food. Collecting food for four growing boys while avoiding stealing as much as he can must take hours. He��s also shown to be an old rat, as he gets taken down hard whenever he battles anyone, often needing to heal for weaks at a time. 

Maybe they were being good sports about the alega and worms because they now how hard it is for him. My parents had weeks where we made the best with whatever we had simply because they hadn’t ran out to the store yet. Not because they were abusive and hated us. Simply because things came up or they felt unwell or they simply hadn’t yet. 

Maybe Mikey was trying to make the best of things with that cake (which I will note was completely Mikey’s idea). 

Maybe he’s not lazy. Maybe he’s just not as young as he used to be. 

Now this is all purely hypothetical, of course. We never see them eating it again, but a lot happens off screen that we don’t see. Donnie still has his alega pools in the second season, so perhaps they are eating it off screen. We see them drinking milk, having soda, and eating Roman- Splinter even has cheesecycles- when they aren’t eating pizza, and it’s never once said that April or even the boys get the groceries. 

My bet is that this is simply one of the things Splinter does when we don’t see him. 

Nobody is being high and lazy. I have never considered my mother high and lazy for making me eat a salad when I wanted a burger. As a human, salads was good for me, so I’ve eaten it. As turtle mutants, this is perfectly natural and healthy for them, so they eat it. Like a salad, but possibly not as tasty with ranch. 

Honestly, I find it beyond sweet that he’s willing to sit down and eat this with them. I doubt that’s necessary for his health, but he’s probably doing it for their sake. In this together. 💚🤎

“Have Raph deal with his mental health using CULT torture-“ 

HE DOES WHAT?! 

Okay, I have no idea what that means but my level of concern here is absolutely through the roof- where on earth is this coming from?? Ep name please??? 

“He is never supervising his kids not because he suffering from mental health but because as he has stated he is not there father and not there parent he is there teacher and that is ALL the responsibility that he holds meaning.” 

He said this?! Once again- ep name please??

I don’t understand. He says “my sons” in practically every sentence when he talks to them! I’ve heard plenty of people have this opinion and I just can’t understand it. I mean- yes, his sons call him sensei, because he is their sensei. When he was dying, they didn’t call him sensei, they called him “papa” and “father” because that’s who they all knew he was all along. 

We already established how he could see the world, and why he would start training his little boys in the ways of the ninja up above, so I won’t get into that again. (This is already super long…) 

He was their teacher, and as my parents have been my teachers in the ways of the world, I don’t see what’s so wrong with them calling him that. His biggest fears was that when his sons outgrew him, he wouldn’t be needed anymore.

A big part of his life was ninjitsu, as it is a big part of theirs, and losing that- losing them, terrified him to the point that he lost his control, and the Rat King was able to take over.

He is their sensei. And he is their father. Why is it horrible for him to be both? 

(Thanks for staying with me this far! I really hope you’ve been keeping an open mind. Much appreciated. Now, just a little more to go!) 

“There is not parental guidance when they see and hear something on the TV hence I’m not surprised Leo is into KARAI or Leo donnie and raph abuse mikey.”

No one abuses Mikey. There is no abuse here. At all. EVER. 

I can totally get into this later if anyone cares about my opinion on this matter (I know it’s going to be unpopular, but I do have reasons), but now is about Splinter. 

Teens watch inappropriate shows. That doesn’t necessarily mean the parents are to blame. Teens fall in love with bad people. That doesn’t necessarily mean the parents are to blame. (My parents raised us with high virtues and self-respect, and my older brother still chased after girls that were not good for him.) 

You can fall in love with a bad person who seems cute/flirty/nice. It happens no matter what shows you watch. 

Perhaps that could be considered a bad on Splinter. I’ll consent to that. But that doesn’t make him a horrible dad. 

“Splinter literally gave karai’s weapon away to April even thigh he KNEW where she was and never BOTHERED to try and get her back! Instead he LEFT her there to be abused and manipulated! And when she comes home he never hugs her or acts like a normal father that has a missing daughter!”

The amount of times this man stared despondently at this photo, visibly hurting and sorrowful because of the family he’ll never truly get back… How does that say doesn’t act like a father mourning his wife and daughter? He looks at it at some points specifically when thinking about Karai.

Also.

Splinter ‘never bothered’ to get Karai because he feared losing his sons in the process. This horrible father who only wanted soldiers (as some people tend to gossip) actually just wanted to do everything in his power to keep his little boys safe. Karai was raised by Shredder. She hated Hamato Yoshi with every inch of her being because he killed her mother. Karai might even kill the sons he spent fifteen years raising and teaching without a second thought.

He doesn’t know her like the viewers do. To him, she’s dangerous and unpredictable. He’s not going to chase down a child, even one with his blood, if it means he will lose his current family. 

Once again, a choice had to be made, and he made one. Maybe it wasn’t the right one, but no choice is inherently perfect. He chose to protect his family. He told them explicitly to stay away to keep them safe. He loves his boys, and won’t risk them for a girl who isn’t Miwa anymore.

To add onto that- Miwa is dead. Miwa died that night with his wife, the same way that Spike died the night he came in contact with mutagen. There is only Slash and Karai now, and they have paved their own paths. The child that he wanted to raise to use this tesson is gone no matter what he does. Karai fights with a wakizashi blade. 

She is her own person, raised in a time that he will never get to be a part of.

But he can train April. He can help protect their new addition to their family. He can offer this honorary Hamato sister the weapon that was meant to go to his Miwa. He has two daughters now, and neither of them are one that he raised. But he chooses to accept them as they are now. 

He lets her take the fan, and lets a new daughter into his heart.

As for never hugging her or acting as a father….

Just because he doesn’t act as you believe he should act, doesn’t mean he isn’t showing fatherly love and compassion- possibly the same way his father did. He loves her, and he is going to show it as only Hamato Yoshi can. 

….With tea parties, apparently 🤣

Again, Mikey is not abused. You can disagree. I don’t mind. I know it’s not a fan-favorite opinion, and I’ll just have to live with that. I don’t mind the hate (okay, maybe it hurts a little 😔) because I truly believe I am correct. 

If you’re willing to hear me out, let me know. I’d love to lay it out for anyone who’s willing to listen! 

#splinter tmnt #splinter hamato #2012 splinter #hamato yoshi #2012 tmnt #tmnt 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt leonardo 2012 #leonardo 2012 #raphael 2012 #tmnt raph 2012 #mikey 2012 #michelangelo 2012 #tmnt donnie 2012 #tmnt donatello 2012 #karai 2012 #karai hamato

[sword-brainrot]

Hello, I am in love of your touken ranbu child headcanon. really give me the warmth in my heart HAHAHA. May ask what happened if the child saniwa has a twin? like they’re both living together with the toudans after their grandparents of parents passed away. And the government had no choice but make them both saniwa or the grandparents/ parents requested them to be the next saniwa.

Very sorry that it took so long for me to do your request (‘～`；). I'm not sure what swords you wanted for this request so I chose some at random but feel free to request this again with different swords! ( ･_･)♡ I always love doing these requests for child saniwa!

Child!Saniwa with Twin Living With Nikkou Ichimonji, Jizou Yukihira, and Akita Toushirou!

♡ A child? With a twin no less? Oh boy...

♡ It would be a lie to say that Nikkou wasn't a bit hesitant about this ordeal. He was suppose to serve his master's every order... And yet his young masters didn't even reach up to his knee-

♡ The day the two was brought in before him while he was the attendant of the citadel, only to be told this is the new master of the honmaru... Nikkou doesn't show much facial expressions but you could visible see his eye brow twitch at the notion.

♡ This was no longer a master he had to serve.... This was two masters that he would have to raise. How the hell was the Left Wing of the Ichimonjis suppose to take care of children?

♡ The first day was hell for everyone involved. Him trying to show his new masters the honmaru... only for them to run around and him always losing one of them, somehow-

♡ You know those child leashes? Yeah, he invests in them so he never loses them.

♡ You think that would solve all his problems... until they tangle him up and he falls to the ground. Goodbye to the leashes after that because that was so embarrassing.

♡ He actively tries to be a teacher to the saniwas but doesn't truly understand how to give the information at their level and makes them all confused.

♡ Nikkou truly doesn't understand how they don't get the lessons he presents them. He explained it clearly and gave them plenty of details to understand???

♡ Luckily he doesn't have to raise these kiddos alone for too long before the next sword manifests and starts to help out.

♡ Jizou manifests only to be met with the sparkling eyes of the twin saniwas and an exhausted Nikkou.

♡ How fitting that the first sword they manifest is the sword shoulders the divine protection of Jizou Bodhisattva, the guardian of children, travellers, and those suffering in hell.

♡ Unlike Nikkou, who is all about order and getting the saniwas prepared for their life as the wise sage and protecting history, Jizou takes the time to sit down with them and learn about the twins.

♡ He is always smiling ear to ear as he listens to the twins go on and on about the animals they saw outside and what they colored in their notebooks.

♡ Jizou is 100% the one that actively goes with them and plays with them. They see a frog? Jizou is kneeling down to point it out to the twins and teach them interesting facts that they would be able to remember.

♡ Jizou asking the twins what certain animals sound like and crafting cute songs about animals for the twins to repeat.

♡ Meanwhile, Nikkou is in the kitchen making food and wondering how this is going to help protect history.

♡ The day he sits in on a Nikkou lesson... oh boy, does Nikkou get an earful about how bad it was after. "By the heavens, have you no wit to understand how to teach children, Nikkou Ichimonji?"

♡ It gets a bit tense in the citadel since Nikkou truly doesn't understand what he is doing wrong. Sure human children are smaller and younger than his past masters, but they have to be able to comprehend the lessons all the same, right?

♡ While Nikkou is worried about protecting history and raising the twins so they are prepared for any difficult decision that may come their way - He lacks the understanding of how to raise a child and comes off very strict. Sometimes, even unfriendly.

♡ Meanwhile, Jizou is all about raising the children so they can enjoy their youth and go at their pace. He wants to protect them from all the bad karma in the world. If it was up to Jizou, he would resign them from being saniwas so they never have to face the harsh realities of history.

♡ Jizou and Nikkou never quite see eye to eye. A tense atmosphere lingers between them.

♡ Even so, Jizou always pushes it aside when the twins are around to have a smile on his face and listen fully to what they want to talk about.

♡ Jizou is a very spiritual being and will teach phrases to the children. Such as: "Om! Ha ha ha! O wondrous one, svā‎hā‎!"

♡ Even if they don't understand or have any interest, he makes sure that he will live up to his name and always protect his adorable saniwas.

♡ While Jizou is always active in the twins life, Nikkou is much more distant and closed off. He sees himself as purely a mentor until he can be a warrior for the young masters.

♡ The next sword to manifest is Akita Toushirou, a tantou who is only a fit taller than his new twin saniwas.

♡ Unlike Jizou and Nikkou, who are very much trying to raise the twins correctly. Akita is also learning about life and shares their curiosity of the world.

♡ He is more so a friend for them to play with. They are always outside playing. From going to the beach, to bird watching, to playing in the dirt, or planting flowers together - They are best of friends.

♡ You know Akita is going in their room for sleepovers. It's a bonus because that means Jizou will also read them a bedtime story, normally some type of poetry that they don't completely understand the deeper meaning... But the thought is what counts!

♡ With a new sword in the citadel; Nikkou takes it upon himself to start teaching Akita swordsmanship.

♡ The twins will quickly realize that their new best friend has suddenly not been around as much to play and find themselves also signing up for Nikkou's lessons.

♡ Jizou is also there to give a watchful eye and make sure Nikkou doesn't overdo it.

♡ As terrible as Nikkou is at giving them lessons on history, or math, or really anything - He is actually an amazing teacher at swordsmanship.

♡ They all get wooden swords and he teaches them how to stand, where to place their feet, adjusting their grip on the sword, etc.

♡ The twins do a great job at preforming the move that Nikkou just showed them? They are getting head pats because he is proud of them but can't express it accurately with words.

♡ Nikkou always coughs nervously into the back of his hand when he catches the gaze of Jizou, who is wearing a proud smile upon his face.

♡ The aura of the citadel becomes more easy going and more like a family. Jizou and Nikkou still don't completely see eye to eye but they are more understanding of one another.

♡ One day, Akita suggested that they draw a picture of the citadel to the twins.

♡ It was not a masterpiece, but it was an adorable stick drawing filled with character and heart. And very very colorful.

♡ In it, the twins were holding Nikkou's hands while Akita and Jizou took hold of their free hands.

♡ At dinner, they presented their drawing to Nikkou and Jizou as they sat down.

♡ Jizou was full of compliments, of course.

♡ But it was Nikkou's expression that told it all. He didn't say a word but his mouth hung open and his eyes wide.

♡ A normally tense face now looked at this colorful drawing like it was the most stunning thing imaginable.

♡ A mischievous smile on Jizou's face as he asked, "Do you like it, Ichimonji-san?"

♡ Clearing his throat, he puts it aside and tells everyone to eat.

♡ The next day, it is hung up for everyone in the citadel to see.

♡ Nikkou actively goes to Jizou to discuss his teaching plans for the twins and how to make it more kid friendly for them to understand.

♡ From investing in child leashes to investing in gold star stickers, Nikkou goes out of his way to change and become someone that the twins would look up to and want to grow to be.

♡ Any activities that Jizou, Akita, and the twins would go together together (like firework shows or the beach), Nikkou is now tagging along and offering to carry the little ones whenever they get tired.

♡ He is still rather dense with raising kids and not understanding their jokes ("Why did the pony get sent to his room?" "Aruji, horses don't have rooms. I don't believe it's wise for them to be in any household room because-" "He wouldn’t stop horsing around!" "...What?")

♡ Nikkou learns how to treasure life in the moment instead of worrying about the future. He is normally the one that takes care of internal affairs and missions but that doesn't mean he doesn't ask for them for their input.

♡ Especially with who is on farm duty, kitchen duty, etc. He allows them to pick whoever they want.

♡ Nikkou never sees himself as the leader of the citadel. He may give the orders for now, but he will forever be the wing to make his masters fly.

#Touken Ranbu #Touken Danshi #Tourabu #Touken Ranbu Headcanons #Touken Ranbu Imagines #Touken Ranbu x Reader #TKRB #TKRB Headcanons #TKRB Imagines #TKRB x Reader #Child!Saniwa #Twin!Saniwas #Nikkou Ichimonji #Nikkou Ichimonji & Reader #Jizou Yukihira #Jizou Yukihira & Reader #Akita Toushirou #Akita Toushirou & Reader

[harleythealter]

Realizing a few reasons I was passionate about the military:

1) serving something greater than me/for our country

2a) having a reason that’s worth being in so much physical pain/mental distress

2b) knowing where that shit came from

3) get away from my family

4) structure

5) comrades

6) being surrounded by people fighting for the same thing as you

7) I know I’m strong and I’m capable

8) I would trust myself more than other people to protect our country

Reasons I’m choosing why I won’t go into the military:

1) I realized I would find pride in my job/serving something greater than me. Due to the following reasons not to, I chose to find pride in a different service

2) my mentor suggested missionary work that’s not just preaching about a religion but using my hands and ability to work hard to change lives

3) I didn’t want military required vaccines because although vaccines-> mental disorders is still a pseudoscience, I don’t want to risk my children’s health on any chance, additionally I don’t want to have those vaccines in my own body and I keep up on my health and quarantine when necessary so I have no guilt about that choice

4) I’m concerned that I’m not actually mentally stable enough to fight in a war zone with any ability to attempt processing what I experience

5) what if I come back mentally disabled and am unable to mother children the way they deserve

6) what if it’s the wrong choice?

7) the military/government owns my body

8) rape statistics

9) what if I disagree with the side in other countries that our military has me protecting/fighting for

10) I can hardly look my parents in the eye and say that I’m going away for four years to a place I may never come back from

11) it’s really fucking overwhelming to try to decide what I want to do in the military

12) what if I don’t even pass the tests to get into the military

13) I’m terrified to start physical therapy(at home) for my legs because what happens when I’m healed

Reasons I’m about to impulsively join:

1) too many people have said along the lines of… thank goodness; I mean, we are just stepping into wars… it’s not a peaceful time anymore

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK??? THATS THE ENTIRE FUCKING REASON TO JOIN(I don’t feel the pressure to go to college and it’s not necessary for the life I want to lead so I wouldn’t go so the military would pay for my schooling)

2) all the things I support the military(suicide awareness walks, putting wreaths on veteran gravestones), my heart aches to be part of something like that

3) I feel like I’m lying to myself when I say “you’ll be content if you serve somewhere else” due to the way I long to be able to say that “I served” even if it’s silent, and to myself. My own badge of honor to say that I didn’t back down

4) I keep questioning if it’s the right place for me to serve

5) THE STRUCTURE AND EXPECTATIONS FOR MY PHYSICAL CAPABILITIES WOULD HAVE ME FUCKING STRONG

6) finally finding some people who have such a strong tie to me(my idiotic brain trying to convince me that I don’t have a best friend for over a decade)

7) if the fight came to our homeland, I want to be the one to protect my family

#harleythealter #thinking out loud over here #military #internal debates #tw rape mention #below the *more* line is the tw once #not like you guys can give me the answer but I can show this to my mentor instead of floating off into an anxiety attack #:p #wtf do I do????

[seudxnimx]

Nathan Waller - OC

age: 35-38 height: 6’1 gender: male sexuality: pan. demi. ailments: secretive. can be narcissistic. 

headcanon visage inspo

He’s the son of Amanda Waller (a woman extremely high up in the government and feared for her brutal decisions and actions and the lengths she’ll go to get something done. The woman who put together the suicide squad and task force x - which is just a mix of dangerous criminals and mutants given a mission to shed time off their sentences or she blows their head off) a son she thought was dead, along with her husband and daughter. His father, Joseph, took him and his sister and fled the country with new names and new lives. This all took place when he was just 12 and his father told him and his sister this was for their protection because their mothers work and the people she chose to get involved with were dangerous and would come for them - this was the only way Joseph could keep them safe, his mother chose work over them and faking their deaths was the only option his father felt he had to get them away from her and her work. At least that’s what he was told and what he believed until he was 17.

One of those criminals that Amanda had under her thumb carved their detonator out of their neck and did exactly what his father was trying to prevent. His little sister was brutally murdered and just days later his father was also killed when he went after his sister’s killer, both killer and his father died during the fight. Nathan was lost, angry, mourning for what felt like a decade but it had been just one short week when his mother found him sleeping in a tent in the backyard. Shocked she found him, he broke down again, grateful to see her as he tried to tell her what happened, but she cut him off telling him she already knew and that she was in on the plan of faking their deaths and behind the idea. Amanda didn’t look like she had even shed a tear over their loss, and she was quick to move on.

Amanda let Nathan attend college and get the degree of his choosing but it was all while attending training in martial arts, marksmanship and physical training required by the marine corps. His relationship with his mother is very distant, she never said much or gave much emotion about his father and sister, she cared for Nathan but it was always at arm,s reach and then she asked him to work for her… initially he thought this might be a way to mend things, maybe seeing her do what she’s most passionate about would give them some common ground but he was put on babysitter duty of these forces (like Rick Flag) and soon he was promoted - the government’s own personal hitman. He was 23 by this time.

He threatened his mother in what she was doing and with what he was doing for her, demanding he get to do what he really wanted - be a teacher. She agreed to let him dabble in his profession and it was at 25 when he got his girlfriend pregnant. He and the girl got married quickly, thinking it was the best option - they were married for 6 years when they called it quits and decided on split custody.

He worked hard for his spot at professor, his mother had left him alone and checked in periodically, as well as checked in on Joelle, his daughter. He put it off as long as he could but the next year his mother reminded him of the contract, he was in. He owed them 15 more years or a total of 150 successful assassinations, whichever was met first. He was granted almost 10 years of freedom but now has to answer to every call from Amanda.

He’s not given a mission every day, week or even month so his life can seem relatively normal - he usually has his daughter three days a week and if he’s on a mission the mom takes her. His daughter doesn’t know what he does, the excuse is it’s a trip for work, teaching abroad for a however long the mission takes. He knows eventually she’ll catch on and he’ll have no choice but to tell her the truth, but he plans to keep her innocence about him and her grandmother for as long as he possibly can.

Despite the loss and lied Nathan has been through he’s not as closed off or angry at the world as he could be. Teaching and his daughter has helped with that. He sees students on the daily that he’s making a difference for, he sees the safe space his daughter has that he’s created for her. He sees and hopes for the big picture when his debt is paid, and his contract is up. He’s 35 and professor of sociology at the community college. Meeting him, first glance or even knowing him well, no one would ever guess he was a killer of any kind. He is extremely secretive about his past and obviously about his second life. He doesn’t trust his mother to actually keep him or anyone he’s close to safe; he knows she would take care of his daughter if something happened to him but that’s not the life he wants for her.

#answered — ic. nathan waller #replies — ic. nathan waller #dash commentary — ic. nathan waller #visage — nathan waller #headcanon — nathan waller

[heckin-snails]

Posting it here because mom made me take it down on insta.

I really feel like Ineed to get this out there. I'm so mad right now. The fact that our government can just take away very basic human rights just because they believe it's something we shouldn't have is disgusting. This has been pretty much all I've been thinking about for the last few days and I hate that I even have to at all. The people who chose to overturn Roe v Wade don't care about the children they say they're protecting, they care about controlling women's and anyone else who has a uterus's bodies. If you think abortions are wrong, that's fine. You have the choice to not get one. That doesn't mean you should be forcing other people to do the same just because that's what you believe. It's the same with contraceptives or LGBTQ relationships. If you don't like it, just don't do it or use it. It's that easy. If other people are cool with those things, don't try to force what you believe about those things on them. Roe v Wade is only the beginning. These people are going to come after contraceptives and LGBTQ rights next.

I've never wanted to have kids. If I ever do I'm adopting. I hate that if something bad were to ever happen and I did get pregnant that I'm just stuck with a kid I don't want. Sure, I do live in a state that's still allowing abortions, but I don't know if that's going to last forever. I hate that women and people with uteruses in about half the country now have less rights than a gun does. It's disgusting that an inanimate object has more rights than some people.

I'm sorry this post has been long and ranty but I needed to get all this out there. I know my account is tiny so pretty much nobody's gonna see this, but I don't care. Something needs to be done about this.

And if you are someone who lives in a state that did take away your right to an abortion, especially if you need one now or in the future, I seriously hope you can get somewhere that actually cares about the people living there.

Again, I'm so mad that this even happened in the first place.

#roe v. wave #womens rights

[allegxry]

Nathan Waller

Age: 35-38

Height: 6’1

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Pansexual. Demisexual

Ailments: Secretive. Can be narcissistic.

He’s the son of Amanda Waller(a woman extremely high up in the government and feared for her brutal decisions and actions and the lengths she’ll go to get something done. The woman who put together the suicide squad and task force x - which is just a mix of dangerous criminals and mutants given a mission to shed time off their sentences or she blows their head off) a son she thought was dead, along with her husband and daughter. His father, Joseph, took him and his sister and fled the country with new names and new lives. This all took place when he was just 12 and his father told him and his sister this was for their protection because their mothers work and the people she chose to get involved with were dangerous and would come for them - this was the only way Joseph could keep them safe, his mother chose work over them and faking their deaths was the only option his father felt he had to get them away from her and her work. At least that’s what he was told and what he believed until he was 17.

One of those criminals that Amanda had under her thumb carved their detonator out of their neck and did exactly what his father was trying to prevent. His little sister was brutally murdered and just days later his father was also killed when he went after his sisters killer, both killer and his father died during the fight. Nathan was lost, angry, mourning for what felt like a decade but it had been just one short week when his mother found him sleeping in a tent in the backyard. Shocked she found him, he broke down again, grateful to see her as he tried to tell her what happened but she cut him off telling him she already knew and that she was in on the plan of faking their deaths and behind the idea. Amanda didn’t look like she had even shed a tear over their loss and she was quick to move on.

Amanda let Nathan attend college and get the degree of his choosing but it was all while attending training in martial arts, marksmanship and physical training required by the marine corps. His relationship with his mother is very distant, she never said much or gave much emotion about his father and sister, she cared for Nathan but it was always at arms reach and then she asked him to work for her… initially he thought this might be a way to mend things, maybe seeing her do what she’s most passionate about would give them some common ground but he was put on babysitter duty of these forces (like Rick Flag) and soon he was promoted - the governments own personal hitman. He was 23 by this time.

He threatened his mother in what she was doing and with what he was doing for her, demanding he get to do what he really wanted - be a teacher. She agreed to let him dabble in his profession and it was at 25 when he got his girlfriend pregnant. He and the girl got married quickly, thinking it was the best option - they were married for 6 years when they called it quits and decided on split custody.

He worked hard for his spot at professor, his mother had left him alone and checked in periodically, as well as checked in on Joelle, his daughter. He put it off as long as he could but the next year his mother reminded him of the contract he was in. He owed them 15 more years or a total of 150 successful assassinations, whichever was met first. He was granted almost 10 years of freedom but now has to answer to every call from Amanda.

He’s not given a mission every day, week or even month so his life can seem relatively normal - he usually has his daughter three days a week and if he’s on a mission the mom takes her. His daughter doesn’t know what he does, the excuse is it’s a trip for work, teaching abroad for a however long the mission takes. He knows eventually she’ll catch on and he’ll have no choice but to tell her the truth but he plans to keep her innocence about him and her grandmother for as long as he possibly can.

Despite the loss and lied Nathan has been through he’s not as closed off or angry at the world as he could be. Teaching and his daughter has helped with that. He sees students on the daily that he’s making a difference for, he sees the safe space his daughter has that he’s created for her. He sees and hopes for the big picture when his debt is paid and his contract is up. He’s 35 and professor of sociology at the community college. Meeting him, first glance or even knowing him well, no one would ever guess he was a killer of any kind. He is extremely secretive about his past and obviously about his second life. He doesn’t trust his mother to actually keep him or anyone he’s close to safe, he knows she would take care of his daughter if something happened to him but that’s not the life he wants for her.

#« nathan waller » answered #« nathan waller » desires #« nathan waller » headcanon #« nathan waller » visage #« nathan waller » dash commentary #« nathan waller » dash games #« nathan waller » musing

[itsyourchoicedevotionals]

Darker And Darker

“So the Lord sent a plague upon Israel that morning, and it lasted for three days.  A total of 70,000 people died throughout the nation…But as the angel was preparing to destroy Jerusalem, the Lord relented…” 2Samuel 24:15-16NLT

There’s a story accompanying our text. V1 says: “Once again the anger of the Lord burned against Israel…” During the time of the Judges of Israel, they had God as their King, He allowed them to do as they pleased. When they strayed deep into sin, He allowed enemy nations to capture them and force them into slavery. During slavery, they always cried out in repentance. God would relent. He always helped them overcome the enemy and lessen their consequences.

Finally they decided, ‘we don’t want God to be our King, let us be like the surrounding nations with a human king.’ David was the second and best king throughout Israel’s history. Even with a godly king leading them, they loved sinning. As their sins grew more depraved, God became angry.

Does this speak of the USA now? Spiritual apathy is reminiscent of Israel during the book of Judges with seeker friendly churches, New Age churches sold out to evil. ‘Grace’ churches are out there— where God condones every evil. Meanwhile evil is growing darker and darker. Some Christians are steeped in sex trafficking, and pedophilia.

Religious groups say, ‘the US has a debt of death which must be paid for.’ Of these, half will say the United States must be as Sodom and Gomorrah. Faith believers say: ‘God will protect us because of the covenant made by our original founder fathers.’

In our Bible story, David was given a choice of punishments by the prophet of God. “…Three years of famine throughout your land, three month of fleeing from your enemies, or three days of severe plague throughout your land?” 2Samuel 24:13NLT

David chose three days of plague: V14 “…let us fall into the hands of the Lord, for His mercy is great. Do not let me fall into human hands…”

Can we choose consequences? The enemies against the USA are multiple. Seeking to set up the rule of satan from within our government— they’re trying to destroy — our constitution; — our freedom to worship Jesus Christ; — our elections and electorate; — our 2nd Amendment rights; — our youth with marxism indoctrination and drugs; — us with division and hatred. There’s open borders with drug cartels and terrorists flowing through. Iran, Russia, North Korea and China are all threatening to destroy us.

Do you know what else we’ve got? —Jesus the Christ’s blood covering our sins —Father God’s love for His children —Covenant promises from God’s Word. —A large remnant of the church-ecclesia praying and repenting.

Another Bible story is found in: Genesis 18:20-33. The Lord told Abraham, He was going to destroy Sodom. Abraham interceded with God for anyone righteous living there. V32NLT: “…The Lord said, “Then I will not destroy it for the sake of the ten.” Abraham had pleaded with God, bringing the total of good men down to less than ten, Lot’s family was spared destruction.

Our nation now has Abrahams standing up, pleading with God for our cities and states. People who are faithful to Him standing in prayer on His promises. Prophets are declaring great and wonderful things to come for those who stand, believing in faith, pleading for God’s mercy and grace.

Where are you? People will be caught in the consequences to come as God allows death to come. Will we be covered in the same mercy that’s on the intercessors? Our personal stances have never been more important. This will take all of your faith. It’s your choice. You choose.

LET’S PRAY: Father God, I beg, in punishment exercise mercy. Cover Your children in the safety of Your secret place. May Jesus be exalted and glorified as Lord over all, in the name of Jesus Christ I pray.

by Debbie Veilleux Copyright 2022 You have my permission to repost this devotional for others. Please keep my name with this devotional, as author. Thank you.

#Jesus Christ #lord of lords #Word of God #Holy Spirit #God #it's your choice #devotional #darker #praying #promises #consequences #spared #protect #love #hope #faith

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

"unprecedented times" these times were completely precedented and also the completely predictable consequence of our deeply broken sociopolitical systems

#serious post #'unprecedented times' i'm about to unprecedent YOU #this was both preventable but also inevitable #in that we could have prevented it by making changes #and the fact we refused to make those changes made it inevitable #i say 'we' but obviously i mean the .01% of the population who controls vast amounts of wealth and political influence #aka billionaires and the politicians and lobbyists that cater to them #there was plenty of research showing that we were overdue for another global pandemic #AND that we could use improvements in medical knowledge to contain it before many lives were lost #the global death toll could have been a minuscule fraction of what it was #and many places DID contain it #it was all down to the choices of governments--some governments chose to protect the lives of its citizens #(which is. literally the only job of any government. to protect and improve the quality of lives of its people. the one job.) #and others chose to throw lives into the fire in the name of preserving the economic status quo #can't exploit your workers if they're stuck in quarantine.

[peteyprecious616]

Behind the mask

Pairing: Batman x reader

Summary: Somehow the man in the mask was your soulmate. You didn't know anything about him except for late night visits and whispers. But maybe you realized you meant more to him than just run-ins and phone calls.

Word count: ~1.7k

A/N: I saw the new Batman movie and let me just say...Robert Pattinson as Batman. That's all I need to say. But idk what this is but emo Bruce Wayne made me feel something. Also ive never really written a soulmate au so im not sure how it works in general. Also don't read this if you haven't seen the film obviously. It doesn't follow the movie really at all but it has some themes in it from the film. But let me know what you think.

Warnings: Nothing really; just small mentions of violence and late nights lol

I’m trying to keep you safe

I need to stay away

Stay close

Don’t leave

I can’t lose you. I've already lost everyone else.

Small grunts sounded from the metals stairs above you as you cleaned the glass at the bar.

Your eyes hurt from the number of times they rolled at the same run-ins with him.

Your fingers grasped the cup tighter, making your fingers rush white from poor circulation. You couldn’t stand his poor choice of timing.

The small tattoo still stuck permanently to your wrist as you thought about that damn cape. He always knew where to find you.

Protecting you

Saving you

But here you were, still stuck in this god-forsaken city. Pure hatred ran through your veins as you heard Cobblepot's small pleads to the man in the mask to stop. Only looking out for his bar’s reputation.

You chose this job for many reasons.

Money, fun, to spite him.

You were angry at the man that promised you everything and nothing in the shadowed alleyways of your small apartment complex.

How he couldn’t be with you because it was too dangerous but he needed to keep you safe

You were his soulmate.

—

You barely knew him. Small checks that followed months of radio silence were aggravating. His job is his only priority. Hours of examining evidence given to him surprisingly by the commissioner himself.

He barely slept, only eating when Alfred brought it down to him. Even then it was only touched a few times before he went back to work.

He called you sometimes. To make sure you were doing well, and you were okay.

But the less you knew the better.

He sent you small, expensive gifts hoping it would keep you happy. He never asked you to live with him.

You’ve asked him numerous times about it. He always told you, you would be better off.

Crime controlled his life. When he was asleep, he was haunted by his need to fulfill his father’s legacy to keep Gotham running.

You saw him on dark rooftops when you walked home from work. You never told him where you worked, walking different streets and alleyways at night.

You knew that he would tell you to quit.

The iceberg lounge was a criminal hotspot. Surrounded by famous-named Gotham residents and secret mob members that no one knew the names of.

It was where criminals and "good people" were allowed to mingle together. Or to hide and confess their sins to someone to fix them.

So you heard about what kept Batman up at night. The new bad that kept everyone on edge.

He told riddles; that was all you knew.

But that was what his whole life revolved around.

He was so stupid. So ignorant towards his safety. To put his own life at risk constantly for a city that had already fallen to ash.

To sin.

He still puts on a mask to hide his identity from a city that has already ripped his body and soul bare. He was a broken man trying to piece together a broken city;

A ripped cape and scars were gifted to him; the pain that was given to him to keep this city from bleeding out.

Even though it had nothing left to save.

He didn’t care about saving himself or saving the joke of the government that keeps trying to push on the population.

It will get better.

Keep going. Believe in us.

But everyone was greedy for money, for lust.

Only looking out for themselves.

Him only looking out for you

He was too selfish. Surrounded by people filled with it just egged him on.

He just kept getting angrier. Enraged at what this city has become. His father believed in the best of Gotham. He believed the city had good in it.

But all the good that he saw was in you. And only you.

So he kept fighting, even though he already lost the ongoing battle between good and evil that ran through the streets of his beloved home.

His mind ramped with guilt and hatred for letting it fall so quickly. And let you live in it for so long.

Who cared about vengeance? Who cared about anything when it all could just be a lie that spilled from greedy lips. He knew that he could only do so much. Alfred told him many times to hang up the cape. To slow down or leave the city because he couldn’t do any more than he already has.

What his family already tried to do.

Even with money, people had a poor sense of change; To be better people.

Alfred accepted this fact long ago, but you kept him going.

So when he found out you worked under Penguin, he froze. He dropped everything to come to find you.

—

Your bed started to feel foreign as you lay there. Your phone rested upon your chest, almost waiting for it to ring.

You did not have any plans today or tonight. It was a rare occurrence to have time to yourself.

Especially when your life had to revolve around him.

Even though it was never really put together, Batman was like the invisible glue that silently held the city steady. Always taking care of others because it's what the city needed to survive.

Holding himself together, keeping above water was another story. But his disheveled hair that was scattered upon his pillow, while you cuddled up against his bruised body, his mumbling about saving this god-forsaken town for his family, and for you was enough for him.

Your small relief that you gave him at night that made him forget that the world was ending was enough to go back out the next day.

You knew it wasn’t going to last forever.

The way he sacrificed himself to Gotham every night, without a single care in the world. Bruises were hidden by long hair that covered his face when he hid it in the crook of your shoulder.

Hiding from the light that cursed his name, you held his weak body in your arms, waiting for him to crack.

But as he laid still, silent breathes that hit your neck you still held him close. Because even if you didn’t know him, he was still a part of you.

Kisses given to cleaned, shallow cuts; soft brushes over eternal scars were just a normal interaction.

But your soul is bound with his, even if his is lost and a bit dark just like the rest of the city.

He was still yours to have

Forever

—

The last interaction was over three months ago.

Now showing up in this overcrowded bar, looking for you was not something you could handle. You called a fellow worker over to fill your shift as you grabbed your coat from the back of the bar.

You pulled out the collar of your jacket, fixing your hair as you fish for your keys in your pockets. Praying he was busy elsewhere.

But you could feel his presence becoming more familiar. Your body was magnetic towards him. Your mind struggled to give in as you fumbled to find your keys that were sitting in your hand practically.

Eyes pulled to the ground as you turned to the back door, you felt him stand behind you. His black mask doing nothing to hide his worried stare aimed at your body.

You still felt his fingertips caressing your body that night he left. The whispers and promises that still entangled your mind and soul,

I will save this city. I will be back for you.

I need you.

I love you.

"you know you can't save everyone, right?" you muttered as your back facing him.

You always tried to reassure him. He held too much on his shoulders. Uprooting his whole life before his father died and locking it away. He needed to make his father proud. So all the guilt bled through his hands and chest as he fought crime day after day.

He was never good with words. His family; other news reporters; spoke for him. He never wanted to talk to anyone because words hurt. They didn't get the work done.

But you heard him murmur as your hand caught the doorknob,

"I only need to save you."

You sighed as your hand gripped the handle tightly. He couldn't do this to you now.

"You barely know me."

"You're still important to me. Even if I'm not important to you." He said as you felt his chest hovering behind your back.

You knew he was getting anxious. He needed you safe.

"Why should I care?" you questioned as your back hit the door as you turned to see his paint-covered eyes. Your hand shifting to hold the doorknob.

What did he want you to say when he looked you in the eyes and said,

"Because I love you."

"You don't mean that."

You never knew what he meant.

Hiding his emotions, his whole life behind a mask.

If he never told you he was your soulmate, you would never have figured it out. Sometimes you wish you never met him.

But that tattoo on your wrist said otherwise.

you heard the words,

"I can't lose you too," as his lips met your ear. An easy kiss was pressed against your forehead.

He opened the door behind you and got you to your car first.

Before anything

because he knew that even if he lost everyone he cared about; his family, Alfred,

you were still promised to him. You were made for each other. He would never be alone if he had someone that he was meant to spend eternity with.

So he'd fight anyone, go anywhere, get every bruise if it meant he still got you in the end.

So yes he did hide emotions from you, kept to himself these past few months.

Because if the Riddler knew how much he would sacrifice to save you. You would be the first one he'd lose.

Batman didn't have any weaknesses. But Bruce Wayne did.

#batman #batman x reader #bruce wayne x you #bruce wayne x reader #robert pattinson #battinson #battinson x reader #the batman 2022 #bruce wayne #batman x you

[mysticalrambling]

Hello

I m new on your blog and read your work and i fell in love with your stories. I read you were interested in taking request so can you take my request too? I was wondering if you can write a steve rogers x reader, where y/n is his girlfriend and he leaves her after civil war and then they see each other in infinity war, he tries to patchup with her but she ignores him because in past he often compared her to peggy and also because she knew about him kissing sharon and she is hurt. During the fight she doesn't talks to him and when tony returns from space she still continues to ignore Steve and when he confronts her she snaps at him for hurting her for a long time. He apologizes and somehow they makeup and also him kissing sharon was misunderstanding because sharon kissed him. And then they are happy together and also in endgame the reader is worried steve will stay in past but he comes back and they get married with the team present and have kids and live happily

Happily Ever After (S.R)

A/N: Thank you so much lovely and I loved the plot line. I loved writing about it and I made a few additions to the story. Hope you like it and I am open to more requests.

Steve Rogers Fanfiction (Fanfiction Master List)

Summary: Steve comes back after Civil War and you are angry with him because he left you. You do not forgive him because you thought he cheated on you and he always compared you with Peggy. But he returns from the past when he chose you over Peggy and you forgive him. You eventually get married and expand your family.

Warnings: Angst but eventual fluff.

._._._._.

He stood right there in his Captain America shield with all his former glory. Your ex boyfriend looked the same but there were some differences like he had a full grown beard and he was more muscular. He kept staring at you with longing and pain but it was not even the half of what you experienced while he was gone.

“(Y/N), you need to take the position left to Steve.�� Tony pulled you out of your trance and you just stared at him when you comprehended his order. He had been there for you from the moment Steve left you after the Civil War. Sitting with you when you couldn’t sleep at night and forcefully feeding you when you spent the whole day starving. He didn’t want you anywhere near Captain but you both always worked best together and there were much more important matters at hand.

“But Tony, I can be with Steve.” As much as Rhodey wanted to be away from all of the people that were responsible for his fall, he didn’t want you to suffer. They all had seen you fall apart on the Avenger base when you realised that your boyfriend left without saying good bye to you and without an explanation. Just telling Tony on a voice message to take care of you wasn’t enough.

“I’ll be okay, Rhodey. You are needed near the buildings so if some of the aliens escape our defenses, you can be there to protect the city.”

All of the avengers kept stealing glances at the both of you because they knew that it was only a matter of time before you exploded. But they were wrong. You were not the stubborn, hot headed woman that did not let anyone walk over her. That woman died when Steve left. He took her with himself.

"Take your positions and give them hell." Steve and you made your way towards your designated place.

"(Y/N), listen to me. I-"

"Do not talk to me. We are done." Keeping your eyes trained on the path, you avoided meeting his eyes.

"But, let me explain. I did not have a choice. You sided with Tony and I couldn't tell you that we were leaving." He tried to catch up with you but you were a woman on a mission.

"I did not side with Tony, I sided with the accords. And I was working my ass off to get you all out of there and I looked like a fool in the end." He collided in you as you abruptly stopped in your tracks.

"(Y/N), I didn't know-"

"You didn't know because you never tried to contact me. I was the one who had to go through multiple trials with the government because they thought I helped you all to escape." There were tears pooling in your eyes and Steve wanted to kill himself for being the cause. "I was benched for four months, for Gods sake."

You are reminded of those horrible times when you didn't know what your next step was going to be. The others tried to help you but you had to suffer through all the criticism alone. Some days you just wanted to leave it all behind and start a new life. But you weren't a coward. You wouldn't let anyone run over you like this and ruin your life. Getting back up was tough but you managed it. The day that you were allowed back on the field was the day that you decided you were not going to let anyone ruin your life.

"(Y/N), I made a mistake and I missed you so much." He tried to touch you but you flinched. A look of hurt passed his eyes and retracted his hands.

"Let's just fight. I want to kick some ass." The war crafts soon landed and you all got to fight. You had to admit that Steve was one of the best teammate that you had. He knew when to defend you and when to let you attack. You were busy fighting two of the aliens when one came from the back. Steve saw it and immediately came to your defense. You were never going to admit it but you missed this.

When the fight ended, you both made your way towards the main compound and saw all the avengers gathered together. Steve and you only had minor cuts throughout your body but nothing major. The moment you saw what all the commotion is about, your breath hitched. It was Tony with half of his skin burnt and taking his last breath.

Kneeling down beside him, you started crying. "Hey, it's okay. Just be happy and do not hold on to old grudges. Take care of family for me, please." Pepper was beside you and she started crying harder when she heard him. "Steve, come here for a second."

"I am so sorry for everything. You will always be my friend, Stark."

"We both were in the wrong, Cap. For what it's worth, do not lose (Y/N) because she is the best thing that has happened to you."

Tony was on his last breaths now and you both moved aside because Pepper wanted to have some last moments with him. There were some rifts in the team since the civil war but at this moment, you all were in this together. Tony was the one who brought you all together and saved many of you from your abusive lives. He was your best friend and you didn't know how you would spend your life without his sarcastic comments and his new inventions.

"You go, Tony. We are going to be okay. I love you." The words that left Pepper were a mere whisper but because of the pin drop silence, you were able to hear her.

"I love you too," Uttering his last words, he finally closed his eyes and all that could be heard were Pepper's wails of agony. Everything after it was a blur; the med bay, the briefing, the funeral. Time seemed to pass you by and you were numb the whole time. It was like a large piece of your heart was torn away from you and you didn't know how to react.

"(Y/N), can we talk?" Natasha lightly knocked on your door before you muttered a small come in. She looked around the room and noticed the lack of pictures in your room. The warmth that once radiated from your room was now gone. There were pictures of you with the team, with Steve and with Natasha. You liked to capture all the memories and it was one of the things the team loved about you.

"Hi."

"Hello. I just wanted to see how you were doing after everything."

"I am fine. Just processing everything." The loose thread on your blanket was the main focus of your attention right now.

"You don't seem fine. I know you, (Y/N)."

"No, you don't." Scoffing at her ridiculous statement, you felt anger bubbling inside your chest. "You were one of the first people who became my friend when I came to this tower. You knew I couldn't live without Chris and you. You both were my support system."

"(Y/N), I wanted to tell you everything. Believe me, I did. But we had to keep it a secret because we had to protect the other avengers as well."

"I have been listening to this reason from the past few days and I am done. I was ready to help you guys and you could have just contacted me once. I didn't know if you were dead or alive."

"I am sorry. I wanted to do it but it was never the right time. Half of the times you were surrounded by government officials. Can you forgive me?" The red head came and sat next to you on the bed.

"I can but I don't know if we can go back to the way things were."

"It's okay. We will be friends again. And as a new friend, I just want to tell you that Steve was miserable these past two years and he loves you so much."

"I don't want to talk about him, Nat. Let's go to the gym and spar."

"I am going to kick your ass as alway, (Y/L/N)."

"I have been practicing, Romanoff." You both went on to sparring and Natasha won in the end. However, the whole day you kept thinking about your ex boyfriend. He had been trying to talk to you from the past two weeks. It was hard for you to ignore him but you were now reminded of the times when he compared you with Peggy.

The small things that you did was always met with criticism like Peggy did not work in the field like this or Peggy wouldn't talk to him like a brat. Apparently, she was the mature one and you could never compare to her. Most of the times, you tried not to let the comments get to you but you were human. He might have done it unintentionally and you didn't want to hold it against him. But it hurt.

"We are going to talk today and you are not going to run away this time." He blocked you in the kitchen when you came out of your room to drink some water.

"Funny how you are saying that I am the one that is running away. Hypocrite much now, are we?"

"(Y/N), I am apologising to you because I can't live without you."

"You did so well for two years, I don't know why it is a problem now."

"I understand that you are angry with me. I wanted to be with you so bad but my duty as Captain prevented me from it." Your face was turned away from Steve but you turned towards him when you heard the words leave his mouth.

"Your job is more important than me?" Enraged, all you could see was red and you wanted to punch the daylights out of him.

"I thought it was but not anymore. You are the most important thing in my life and I don't want to lose you."

"Well, you have other women in your life so you don't need me."

"What other women?" Steve's confused gaze swept over your face when you spit those words out.

"I know about Sharon. You kissed her when we were still together. You cheated on me and I hate you for it." Pointing your fingers at his chest, you didn't realise when your voice started to rise.

Steve held your hands and pulled you close to his chest. "Sharon kissed me and I immediately backed off. I would never cheat on you."

You couldn't believe your ears right now. This was one of the things that helped you get over Steve. Believing that he cheated on you, made it a lot easier for you to despise him. Granted that never happened but it was still easier. However, he was still stuck in the past and he did not want to admit it.

"Even if Sharon is not a problem, you are still stuck in the past."

"What do you mean?"

"You are still in love with Peggy and I can not be your second choice anymore."

"Peggy has got nothing to do with this. She is dead and I love you."

"But I would have never been the one you loved if Peggy was here."

"That's not true. You both are totally different people and I love you now." Steve didn't know how to explain it to you. The things he felt for you were totally different for what he felt for Peggy. You made his breath hitch and his heart pounded whenever you smiled at him. He was so in love with you that he didn't think it was possible to love someone this much.

He knew that he compared you with Peggy before he left but at that time he was not ready to leave the past. It was unfair of him to do that to you while you tried very hard to meet all his expectations. However, he realised afterwards that you did not have to meet any of his expectations because you exceeded all of them. He felt so guilty and he just wanted to have you back in his life and forget about all the things that happened.

"I don't believe you."

"Please do. I want us to be okay before I go to return all the stones."

"You do that and then we can talk about us." He gave you a quick peck on the cheek before you could say anything. You were pretty sure that would stay back with Peggy and that's why you didn't want to reconcile things. You didn't want him to break your heart again.

"Ready to go, Cap?" Scott asked as he rechecked the time machine again. Everyone glanced at each other when he said that because they all thought that Steve might remain in the past for Peggy. They all had their doubts but everyone was scared to say them out loud. "You only have five seconds to get back before you are stuck."

"Ready." He glanced at you one last time and stepped in to the machine. You held your breath as Scott counted out loud and when he reached the number four, you were sure that he wasn't coming back. You were about to turn back when a snapping sound echoed throughout the room.

"I told you I will come back." Coming to a halt right in front of you, you couldn't believe your eyes. You pulled him in and kissed him ferociously.

"I love you."

"I love you too and remember that no one compares to you. I am really sorry."

"It's okay. You passed the test." When you both kissed again, all of your friends cheered for you.

As time passed by, you realised that Steve was the best person you could have possibly ended up. He was the literally the man of your dreams. Waking up to him every morning, cuddled up in your bed to going to bed with him kissing you goodnight. Steve made you breakfast every morning even when he was getting late and weekends were only reserved you.

The day that he proposed was still so clear on your mind. You remembered how he was nervous for a week that you thought something was seriously wrong with him. He would stutter and sweat when you got too close to him like it was a new relationship. There was a barbecue for the whole team on the compound and you all were gathered around the garden with drinks in hand. Everyone was enjoying it to the fullest when out of nowhere Steve knelt in front of you with a ring in his hand. After listening to his speech, you said yes with tears in your eyes.

"Are you ready?" Natasha asked you as she smoothed down your wedding dress that you spent months picking out.

"Yes." Pepper helped Morgan with the flower basket because the seven year old wanted to be the flower girl.

"Okay, then it's time." Walking down the aisle was worth it when you saw the adoration flicker in his eyes. He said some of the most heart warming words that had you ruining your eye makeup. It was a beautiful ceremony that only included close family and friends. You wanted a private wedding and you announced it to the world the next day. They all went crazy but the positive response was overwhelming to say the least.

Four months in to the wedding, you realised you were pregnant. Natasha was the one who sat beside when you waited for the test while Pepper brought a million of them for you. You were scared to tell him because you never discussed the possibility of having kids in detail.

"Just tell him. He is going to be ecstatic." Natasha tried to soothe you when you started crying with your face in between your hands.

"Okay. Steve will be home anytime soon."

"We should probably get going." Pepper and Natasha made their way towards the door and gently closed it.

"Hey, babe." Kissing you on the cheek, he immediately went to the washroom to take a shower.

"We need to talk."

"Sure. What's up?"

"I am pregnant." Blurting it out was not what you had planned but you couldn't think of another way. He stopped folding his armor midway and just looked at you with disbelief in his eyes.

"Are you serious? Oh my god. When did you find out? I am so happy, baby."

"I found out about an hour ago. And you are seriously happy?"

"Of course, I am. We will have a mini you or me with us in nine months. I love you, baby."

"I love you too." Keeping his hands on your stomach, he hugged you tightly and you knew that you got your happy ending. You were one of the luckiest people alive because you have a husband like Steve and now you were going to have family with him.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

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A/N: I love Captain America and I was happy to write a fanfiction about him. If you guys have any more request, I will be happy to write about them and message me if you want to be added to the tag list.

Taglist: @justile 

Like, comment and reblog.

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#rachelleblodgettwrites #my writing #creative writing #tv shows #steve rogers angst #steve rogers #steve rodgers x reader #steve rogers blurb #chris evans x wife!reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fluff #andy barber x wife reader #steve rogers one shot #dad steve rogers #chris evans x female reader #dad chris evans #marvel #natasha romanov #tony x pepper #tony stark #rhodey rhodes #my imagination

[kj-1130]

Nothing For Me

Part 7

Main Masterlist

Part 6|Part 8

     You and MJ’s relationship continued to grow as time went on. 

     As she started her first year of high school, you worked on yourself, wanting to be good for her.

     Overtime, you learned how to process and deal with things better. You focused on yourself and your developing relationship with MJ and needless to say, things started to look up. 

     The ‘present but not really present father’ thing didn’t affect you as much as it did, but it was still there. It was one of the only things you hadn’t fully processed and to be honest, you didn’t think you ever could. 

     Your father is there, and has been aware of presence for almost a decade. And not once has he given you any type of consolation or love like a father should. You would think after Pepper was getting more involved in his life and forcing him to clean up (most of) his act, he would open his eyes and realize that a whole human being was living with him, waiting for him to realize that they were supposed to be relying on him; not an AI built in the comfort of their room. 

     But nope. Absolutely nothing changed. If anything, things got worse. 

     He was away more often, focusing on the Avengers. Or he was with Pepper, the new love of his life. 

     You tried not to linger on the situation often, knowing it would only lead to pain in your chest. So you just stuffed it in the back of your mind, hoping one day that the pain would just lessen all together. 

     About two months ago, you and MJ had decided to make things official after going on your first date. At first you talked about how fast the two of you were going, but Michelle simply said ‘we’ll be u-haul lesbians then.’ That was the end of the conversation. 

     Currently, you and your girlfriend were facetiming. You would’ve made the trek to her house but she was about to study and you both knew that you’d distract her. Plus the two of you were due for some time away from each other considering the fact that you’re at her place almost everyday. 

     “Okay, so I found this recipe the other day and I’m just now remembering it.”

     MJ looks at you confused, “Okay?” 

     You roll your eyes playfully.

     “I wanted to try it with you. After my ban from your place has been lifted.” 

     “It’s not a ban,” she chuckled.

     “Well, it sure as hell feels like one ba-”     “Mr. Stark has arrived with a guest,” M.I.A cut you off. 

     “Who is this guest?” 

     “Secretary of State, Thaddues Ross,” the AI replied, pulling up pictures of the man. 

     “Hey M, I’m gonna call you back.”

     “Yeah, yeah,” she nods, looking a little concerned. “Take all the time you need. Let me know if everything’s okay.”

     The two of you give your goodbyes and you ask M.I.A to pull up the live footage from the conference room.

     “Perspective. The world owes the Avengers an un-payable debt. You have fought for us, protected us, risked your lives… but while a great a=many people see you as heroes, there are some who would prefer the word “vigilantes”, is what you first hear when you start watching. 

     Immediately your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

     “And what word would you use, Mr. Secretary?” Natasha asks.

     “How about ‘dangerous’?” he replies. “What would you call a group of US-based, enhanced individuals who routinely ignore sovereign borders and inflict their will wherever they choose and who, frankly, seem unconcerned about what they leave behind?”

     The secretary activates a screen behind him which begins to play the previous battles the Avengers and SHIELD have fought in. 

     “New York.” 

     He clicks a button, footage of chitauri, shooting guns, and Hulk smashing plays. 

     “Washington D.C”

     A new video appears, showing the insight helicarriers firing at each other with chaos following. 

     “Sokovia.” 

     The frame changes, showcasing the terrified citizens that were on the flying piece of land. 

     “Lagos.” 

     “That’s enough,” Steve interrupts. 

     Ross nods in response and begins his speech again. 

     “For the past four years, you’ve operated with unlimited power and no supervision. That’s an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer tolerate. But I think we have a solution.”

     He places a thick document on the table and slides it across to Wanda. As the team slides the book to each other Ross starts talking. 

     “The Sokovia Accords. Approved by 117 countries… it states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead, they’ll operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel, only when and if that panel deems it necessary.” 

     “The Avengers were formed to make the world a safer place,” the Captain begins. “I feel we’ve done that.”

     “Tell me, Captain, do you know where Thor and Banner are right now?” There was a momentary pause as the two men’s eyes met. “If I misplaced a couple of 30 megaton nukes… you can bet there’d be consequences. Compromise. Reassurance. That’s how the world works. Believe me, this is middle ground.”

     At this point, you’re walking out of your room after transfering the feed to your tablet and making your way to the elevator.

     “So, these are contingencies,” Rhodey states. 

     “Three days from now,” Secretary Ross begins. “The UN meets in Vienna to ratify the Accords. Talk it over.” 

     Natasha speaks up, “And if we don’t come to a decision you don’t like?”

     “Then you retire.” 

     The elevator stops and you look up seeing the Secretary walk in with someone behind him. You give him a subtle disgusted look before turning your attention back to the security footage.

     As the deathtrap descends, you can feel his eyes lingering on you. 

     “Can I help you?” 

     “You’re a little young to be an intern.” 

     “You’re a little old to be looking at me like that,” you shrug, swiping away from the video on your tablet as you feel him looking over your shoulder. 

     Ross gives an awkward chuckle and furrows his eyebrows. When you reach the bottom floor, he gets ready to step out and places a hand on your shoulder. 

     You look at him like he’s lost his mind. 

     “You seem like a good kid. Be sure to make good choices.” 

     Raising an eyebrow, you refrain from saying what you want to say. You lift your hand and gently take his off of you. 

     “Don’t touch me,” 

     Once he exits, you hear the chatting start back up.

     “Secretary Ross has a Congressional Medal of Honor,” Rhodes told Sam. “Which is one more than you have. 

     “So let’s say we agree to this thing,” Wilson starts. “How long is it gonna be before they LoJack us like a bunch of common criminals?”

     “117 countries want to sign this. 117, Sam, and you’re just like, ‘No that’s cool. We got it.” 

     “I have an equation,” Vision announces as you get back on the elevator. 

     “Oh this will clear it up,” Sam mutters. 

     “In the eight years since Mr. Stark announced himself as Iron Man, the number of known enhanced persons has grown exponentially. And during the same period, the number of potentially world-ending events has risen at a commensurate rate.“

     “Toaster oven’s got a point there,” you mumble, stepping back on the metal deathtrap. 

     Steve asks,“Are you saying it’s our fault?”

     “I’m saying there may be a causality. Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict… breeds catastrophe. Oversight… oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand.” 

     “Boom,” Rhodey says.                             

     You see Tony lying on the couch, quite relaxed, contradicting the tense atmosphere. 

     “Tony,” Nat starts. “You are being uncharacteristically non-hyper-verbal.”

     “It’s because he’s already made up his mind,” Steve explained. 

     “Boy, you know me so well,” Stark starts, getting up and rubbing the back of his head. “Actually I’m nursing an electromagnetic headache,” he pauses to grab a mug of coffee. “That’s what’s going on, Cap. It’s just pain. It’s discomfort. Who’s putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?”

     Tony puts his phone in a basket and taps the screen. An image is projected of a smiling young man. 

     “Oh, that’s Charles Spencer, by the way. He’s a great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA. Had a floor level gig at Intel planned for the fall. But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul, before he parked it behind a desk. See the world. Maybe be of service. Charlie didn’t want to go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn’t go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where, Sokovia.”

     He pauses for a second as the team soaks in the information.

     “He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. I mean, we won’t know because we dropped a building on him while we were kicking ass.

     “There’s no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check! Whatever form that takes, I’m game. If we can’t accept limitations, if we’re boundary-less, we’re no better than the bad guys.”

     “Tony, someone dies on your watch, you don’t give up,” Steve rebuttals.

     “Who said we’re giving up?” 

     “We are if we’re not taking responsibility for our actions. This document just shifts the blame.”

     “I’m sorry. Steve,” Rhodey blurted. “That-that is dangerously arrogant. This is the United Nations we’re talking about. It’s not the World Security Council, it’s not SHIELD, it’s not HYDRA.”

      “No, but it’s run by people with agendas, and agendas change.”   

      “That’s good,” Tony starts. “That’s why I’m here. When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down and stopped manufacturing.  

     “Tony, you chose to do that. If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. What if this panel sends us somewhere we don’t think we should go? What if there is somewhere we need to go, and they don’t let us? We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still our own.”

     “If we don’t do this now, it’s gonna be done to us later. That’s a fact. That won’t be pretty.”

     Wanda finally speaks up, “You’re saying they’ll come for me.”

     “We would protect you,” Vision promised. 

     “Maybe Tony’s right,” the redhead speaks. “If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer. If we take it off--”

     “Aren’t you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?” Sam interrupts. 

     “I’m just… I’m reading the terrain. We have made… some very public mistakes. We need to win their trust back. 

     “Focus up,” Tony says. “I’m sorry, did I just mishear or did you agree with me?”

     “Oh, I want to take it back now.”

     “No, no, no. You can’t retract it. Thank you. Unprecedented. Okay, case-closed--I win.” 

     From what you see, Steve stands to leave abruptly. 

     You then walk out of the elevator, tablet still in hand with the footage up. The captain walks past you just as you turn the corner and spot the team. 

     “Someone’s upset,” you hum. 

     You walk past everyone towards the fridge and grab a water bottle. 

     “Anyway, that was very childish. And kinda stupid.” 

     Inquisitive looks are thrown your way and you hold up the tablet awkwardly as you plop down on a chair. 

     “I was watching you. I kinda do that a lot. It’s not as creepy as it sounds.” 

     You open the bottle and take a sip. 

     “What are you doing down here kid--”

     “Ahhh,” you interrupt. “Don’t call me a kid. I haven’t been a child for years.”

     “Just answer the question,” Tony snaps. 

     “I like to stay informed. No one tells me anything and while you think that these private meetings only affect you, it doesn’t. It affects me too. You may not remember I’m your child but several people do. And that puts me in danger. So yes, I listen to your conversations to make sure it’s nothing I need to worry about.” 

     An awkward silence washes over as you gulp down more water. 

     “Anyway, I was just riding up and down the elevator waiting for you guys to finish. That Ross dude is kinda creepy by the way. But you’re really considering signing that thing?” 

     “Not you too,” your father mutters. 

      You let out a laugh and everyone looks at you strangely. 

      “Is this funny to you?” Rhodey asks. 

      “Yes,” you stop laughing abruptly. “I find it hilarious that this is the same government that was ready to drop a nuke on the city during the Battle of New York not giving a damn about a single civilian that was still in the area. I find it hilarious that this is the same government that lets thousands of children and women of color go missing and not do a thing about it. It’s funny that this is the same government that let HYDRA, Red Room, AIM; all that shit grow right under their nose. It’s funny because this government is the same one that uses taxpayer money for dumb ass projects and unnecessary military funding instead of using it to fund shit that helps the civilians they claim they care so much about. I mean how can you not find this situation amusing?”

     “Look,” Tony attempts. 

     “I’m not finished,” you challenge, looking him dead in the eyes. “This government don’t give a damn about y’all, especially not the three of us,” you say, gesturing to yourself, Sam, and Rhodey. “We’d be booted out of this country before you could even blink if they ever got the chance and you know that.

     “I don’t know why y’all are so adamant on gaining the government’s trust when they don’t give a flying fuck about you or these goddamn civilians. All they care about is power. They don’t care how many civilians come up missing or die in some tragic accident. It doesn’t matter what happens. When they see someone becoming richer or smarter or more powerful than they are, they will do anything to shut that shit down. 

     “I don’t understand how you can’t see that. And maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s just me and my experience,” you pause, catching the gaze of every person in the room with hard eyes. You take a deep breath and try to calm down. “Sign it if you want to. Think about how many lives you’ll lose then.”

     You stand from your spot and walk into the open elevator, ready to get to the comfort of your bed. 

-

     It had been two days since the initial meeting and you were currently sitting on Michelle’s bed watching her read. 

     “You’re really pretty,” you muttered out of the blue.

     You saw your girlfriend’s cheeks develop a subtle red tint as she mumbled back a ‘thank you, and continued reading. You groan and gently pull the book out of her hands. 

     “Hey,” she quietly protests. 

     “Please,” you pout, holding your arms out as an invitation.

     MJ fondly rolls her eyes before lowering herself onto you. You hummed contently and squeezed her before planting a kiss on her cheek. 

     She surprised you by turning her head and giving you a lingering kiss. That one kiss soon turned into something more. 

     Michelle gently pushed you onto your back and straddled your hips. Bending down she kissed you once again, her lips gliding with yours. 

     This continued for a few minutes, taking small breaks in between to breathe. You don’t think you could ever get enough of her and hoped that she was feeling similarly.

     You kissed until your jaws hurt. The euphoric feeling still lingered as MJ rested her forehead against yours, trying to catch her breath. 

     “We should do that again sometime,” you mumbled. 

     Your girlfriend nodded in response, giving one more chaste kiss to your lips before dropping to your side. 

     “Tomorrow,” she said after glancing at the clock that read 10:47. 

     “Guess I’m spending the night then.” 

     “I have no problem with that.”

-

     The next day, you were awoken by beeping from your phone. Once you were fully aware of your surroundings you picked up the device and read the notifications that M.I.A sent through. Scanning through them, you sat up with urgency and played the video. 

     “A bomb hidden in a news van ripped through the UN building in Vienna. More than 70 people have been injured. At least 12 are dead, including Wakanda’s King T’Chaka. Officials have released a video of a suspect who they have identified as James Buchanan Bares, the Winter Soldier. The infamous HYDRA agent, linked to numerous acts of terrorism and political assassinations.”

     Carefully removing Michelle’s arm from around your waist, you stand up and move to the corner of the room. You press the contact and hold the phone up to your ear. 

      “Nat what the fuck is going on?”

     You hear the woman sigh on the other side of the phone.     “Look, just… stay wherever you are.”

     “Yeah, okay, whatever. I want answers, Nat.”

     “(Y/n),” she says firmly. “Calm down and go back to whatever you were doing. Right now, this does not concern you and I would like it to stay that way. Do you understand me?”

     There was some silence, before you let out a forced chuckle. 

     “Okay, whatever. Bye.”

     “(Y/n) c’mo--”

     You disconnected the call and gently tossed the phone onto MJ’s desk.     “You sound stressed.” 

     Turning around to face the bed, you see Michelle sat up and leaning against the headboard. You nod slowly and crawl your way up towards her. 

     “I am.”

     You feel her hand take hold of your clenched ones and she rubs them, causing you to relax slightly. 

     “There was a um, bombing at the--the um… signing thing. And no one wants to tell me what’s going on, so,” you end the sentence, shrugging. 

     MJ’s head drops onto your shoulder and you let her cuddle close. 

     “They told me to stay where I was. So hopefully we can get something good out of that.” 

     There was no response and you thought she had fallen back asleep, but you were proven wrong when your girlfriend started getting up. 

     “C’mon,” she instructed, holding her hand out when she saw the look of confusion on your face. 

     Taking her hand, the two of you made your way to the kitchen. 

     She turned around and grabbed your shoulders. 

     “We are going to make some breakfast… or lunch whatever. And then we are going to binge watch until we can binge watch no longer. Alright?”

     You nod your head, chuckling and then got to work. 

-

     It had been days since you last heard from anyone. No updates from Natasha. M.I.A even told you there hasn’t even been a great deal of movement in the compound. Today you decided you would head back. 

     When you arrived it was quiet. As you walked down the halls you heard distant chatter and followed it. 

     Turning the corner, you were surprised at what you saw. 

     “What the hell happened?”

     The two men turned to look your way, but you were given no answers. 

     Tony had bruises on his face and he looked more tense than usual. Rhodey had some sort of tech on his legs. 

     “You fought them. You fought them all, didn’t you?” 

     Both men looked away and avoided your gaze. 

     “You didn’t even listen to what I said. This is what the government does. I tried to tell you, but you didn’t even fucking listen,” you ranted, your voice slightly raising.

     “Us breaking apart wasn’t the government. Most of this is on some guy th--”

     “Well the government allowed it to happen so I’d say it is their fault!” 

     You turned to your father with pleading eyes. 

     “Where are they, Tony?”

     “Kid, they’re criminals now, I don’t--”

     “Stop calling me that! I’m--I’m not some kid. I’m not your kid,” you let out a frustrated breath. “You--you couldn’t talk it out? Like mature adults? You just had to go assert your dominance somewhere--in what? An--an airport? Some vacant lot? You just had to fight. Do you not know how to communicate?” 

     You looked at the two men, shook your head, and brushed past them. 

     Just when things were alright.

-

     “(Y/n)?” 

     “What M.I.A?”

     You were currently laying in your bed trying to control the tears that were begging to fall from your eyes due to the amount of overwhelming shit you had been hit with. You talked with MJ for a little while and while it helped a bit, you honestly were still feeling like… well shit.

     “There’s a package for you.” 

     Furrowing your eyebrows, you head down to where the mail is usually placed, get the package with your name on it, and head back to your room. 

     Grabbing a pair of scissors, you cut the tape and open the box. Inside was a letter and a phone. 

     Hey sweetheart.

     It was Natasha’s handwriting.

     I’m sorry. I really am. We all are. I wish things wouldn’t have ended this way, but they did and we can’t really do anything about it now. 

     I listened to what you said. I listened and I tried my best to understand. I don’t think I ever wanted to sign the accords in the first place. The only reason I did so was so that we could stay together. So that I could stay with you. This team is the only family I’ve had in a long time. The fact that that stack of papers could end that scared me. 

     I just kept trying to convince myself that signing the Accords was the right thing to do; anything to keep this team together. Anything to keep everything from falling apart. 

     But the more I thought about it, I realized. You were right. Everything you said. This government doesn’t care. And if the government doesn’t care like they’re supposed to then we need to. People need the government, but they don’t have it. They do have us though. And they always will. 

     I love you. I didn’t say it enough and I don’t know when or if I’ll ever get to tell you that again. You are so precious to me and I’m sorry I couldn’t stay. If you ever need anything, you can always give me a call. 

     You wiped your eyes and gently picked up the phone. You held it in your hands for a moment before setting it down. You folded the letter back up neatly and placed both items in the top drawer of your nightstand. 

     You laid back down on your bed with less tears on your face. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

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#avengers #avengers imagine #avengers x reader #avengers x teen!reader #avengers x black!reader #tony stark #tony stark x daughter!reader #michelle jones x reader #michelle jones x fem!reader #nothing for me miniseries

[kabookiii]

AOT 139

Spoilers warning

The chapter left me with a bitter feeling. After taking some time to reflect and think about it these are my interpretations of events. 

Why is Mikasa alone?

After Eren died, Mikasa is holding Eren’s remains and lets Armin know where Eren will be buried and disappears. She had to disappear in order to be able to bury Eren or else the surviving humans (Marleyans non-eldians) wouldn’t easily let her go which was proven when they raised their guns against Armin and company. Armin took the blame for killing Eren in order to protect Mikasa and to be able to become the ‘hero’ of humanity. As the hero of humanity Armin would be able to hold diplomatic talks to bring lasting peace. If Mikasa would’ve been known to be the one to kill Eren then she probably would’ve been threatened by the Yeagerists and wouldn’t be able to live in Paradis peacefully. Armin probably couldn’t return to Paradis right away because the Yeagarists saw him as a traitor and Armin had the duty to build relationships with the world to bring peace- he has to make sure Eren’s death wouldn’t be in vain. Another possible reason Mikasa didn’t leave Paradis herself is because as she saw Paradis was still threatened she decided to remain to protect her hometown and the place Eren’s remains rested. She wanted to stay to protect the place she called home. Time had to pass by for things to settle down. After 3 years, diplomatic talks are occurring as Armin and company are ambassadors that are going to Paradis to hold diplomatic discussions with Historia. After 3 years, Mikasa and Eren (his remains) will be reunited with their friends. 

What was the point of Historia’s pregnancy?

Historia got pregnant to save herself from turning into a titan. Eren let her know that the Paradis government wanted Historia to turn into a titan so she could eat Zeke because they didn’t trust Zeke. Historia herself suggested that she should get pregnant to gain more time not Eren. If she got pregnant then the government couldn’t force her because they needed to secure the royal bloodline. Eren told her about the rumbling to give her another option (she didn’t have to become breeding livestock) since he would activate the rumbling  there was no need for her to make that choice. However, in my opinion Historia didn’t want to risk it so she decided to get pregnant to keep herself save. She didn’t support the rumbling at that time. Historia looking out for herself is something Ymir taught her- to become more selfish and not always be ready to die and sacrifice herself. Ymir was Historia’s true love so Ymir had great influence over Historia’s character. Based on Eren’s character he wouldn’t have a child with anyone if he knew he was going to die and leave the child without a father. To him Historia being forced to bear children was robbing her of her freedom (becoming breeding livestock which he was against) so he wouldn’t do that to her. In the end Historia chose that option herself at least and no one forced her to. 

Why does Eren have an emotional breakdown?

The clothes Eren is wearing when he tells Armin that he wants to live and be with Mikasa is the same clothes he was wearing the day he told Mikasa he hated her. Eren lied to Mikasa that day and now in chapter 139 we are able to know Eren’s true feelings that he felt inside. What he told Armin is probably what he wanted to tell Mikasa that day but in the end he never did. He never told Mikasa that he loved her because he wanted Mikasa to move on and not hold her to him emotionally. Armin is his best friend and the only person he could confide in his true emotions- the only person he could have a breakdown with. Eren said all this in the past as Armin is remembering his words now that Eren is dead. Eren chose to let Mikasa go after all. It was painful for Eren to give up his true desires but he did it in the end to save his friends. 

Why is Mikasa the one to save Ymir from painful love?

This is my interpretation. Mikasa is an Ackerman but also holds Eldian blood. She is more powerful than the average Eldian, loyal in character and loves deeply. Ymir probably resonated with Mikasa because Mikasa had the power to chose for herself which path to take. As both being Eldian, Ymir was able to see Mikasa’s choices (past, present, future and alternate realities/dreams) and since she couldn’t be brainwashed as Mikasa is also an Ackerman she was someone Ymir couldn't influence- all was Mikasa’s free will. One path for Mikasa was to give in to love and her true desires but at the price that Eldians would continue to be titans which was shown in Chapter 138. If Mikasa and Eren ended up together and ran away together then nothing would change and the curse would continue. Eren wasn’t happy with that outcome as he felt guilt over it and Mikasa herself wasn’t truly happy either. The other choice was for Mikasa to sacrifice her love for the greater good. Why did the curse of Ymir continued for generations? King Fritz commanded the daughters of Ymir to eat Ymir to carry on the titan power. It was King Fritz- the person Ymir loved and was loyal to- who wished for the titans to continue to exist at the cost of humanity. Ymir saw through Mikasa that one must not be blind by love- Mikasa ended up killing the person she loved the most to save humanity. Mikasa freed herself from the shackles of love for the greater good at the cost of her happiness. Ymir had to put an end to King Fritz’ wish to continue carrying on the titan powers so she had to free herself from the painful love and loyalty she had to King Fritz for the greater good of all Eldians. Yes, it is odd that Ymir loved her oppressor but love itself is not always rational.  Obviously Mikasa’s and Eren’s relationship is NOT at all similar to Ymir’s and King Fritz’s- only parallel is between Ymir and Mikasa. I still wished we got Ymir’s perspective but I’m guessing we never will as Isayama decided to leave it with only Ymir knows why Mikasa saved her to leave it as a ‘mystery’. 

#aot139 #snk 139 #snk spoilers #eremika #aot 139

[stolen-pen-name23]

Your prompt list is soo cool! I’d love to see 30 with Obi-Wan and whoever else you want!

Ahhh thank you for the prompt my friend!! I've never written Padmé before, so I decided to experiment with that. I hope you like it!

---

“I’m so sorry,” Obi-Wan murmured.

Anakin probably couldn’t hear his quiet apologies. He was still unconscious from his surgery and likely would be for some time. Still, Obi-Wan spoke to him on the off chance he could hear him. Anakin would need a comforting word or two.

Obi-Wan could hardly bear to look at the metal arm that was now positioned in place of Anakin’s flesh one. It had been a clean amputation — the one advantage of being wounded by a lightsaber of all weapons. Still, looking at the arm made Obi-Wan’s stomach turn sour with an unpleasant mixture of guilt and anger.

The door to the medical suite clicked open and closed and Obi-Wan was pulled from his quiet musings and murmurings.

“Senator Amidala,” Obi-Wan greeted, hiding his surprise behind a careful mask.

“Oh! Master Kenobi,” Senator Amidala said, not quite as good at hiding her surprise. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”

“Why not?” Obi-Wan asked. “We’re in the Jedi temple and my padawan has just suffered a terrible injury. Why would I not be here?”

The words came harsher than he wanted them to, but he could not help it. Obi-Wan felt all of the exhaustion, all of the fear, all of the anger he had yet to work through from the past few days start to claw at his chest and wedge itself into his words.

Kamino. His capture. Dooku. 212 Jedi dead because of him.

Anakin.

“He is my Padawan. My responsibility. I have every reason to be here.” He paused and pulled his gaze away from Anakin to look Padmé in the eyes. “In fact, why are you here?” he asked, ice coating the very cadence with which he spoke.

If his words shook her, she did not show it.

“I came to check in on Padawan Skywalker’s well-being. He has successfully protected me over the past few days. I only wish to see him alright.”

Padmé was steadfast and not easily cowed. Obi-Wan admired that about her.

Guilt started to dilute the mix of other negative emotions already swirling around within him. “Yes, of course,” he said, clearing his throat. He swore he could still feel the dust from the Geonosian arena lodged in his vocal cords. “Forgive me, Senator. It has been a difficult couple of days.”

“That it has,” Padmé agreed. “Are you doing okay? I know you didn’t walk away entirely unharmed either.”

Obi-Wan looked away to hide his grimace. “I’m all right,” he said softly, ignoring the pulsating ache in his arm and his thigh.

“May I sit with you?”

Obi-Wan wanted to say no. He wanted her to go away. All he wanted right now was to be alone with his Padawan and his thoughts.

“Of course,” he said.

Padmé sat beside him. Awkwardness hung in the air around them.

“I am glad to see you alright,” Padmé said. “When we got your message, we weren’t sure you were still alive.”

Obi-Wan swallowed thickly. “I’ve been through worse.” Even as he said it, he struggled to think of something worse than getting into a knock-down-drag-out with a Mandalorian, getting captured by his grandmaster, getting chained to a pole, presumably to be torn to shreds by all manner of beasts, and then watching his grandmaster maim his padawan all in the span of a few days.

Oh and the 212 Jedi. The ones that died to save him.

He struggled to come up with something much worse than that.

“Yes, well, I’m still glad you’re all right.”

“I’m glad you’re all right too,” Obi-Wan said. “You were very quick on your feet in that arena. It was impressive.”

“It was not meant to impress. It was meant to escape.”

“Forgive me. I didn’t mean to imply—”

“No, I’m sorry. It seems both of us have frayed nerves at the moment.”

“So it seems,” Obi-Wan nodded.

“Do you think he’ll be okay?” Padmé asked, inclining her head to Anakin.

“If I know my Padawan, this will be an adjustment for him,” Obi-Wan said. “He’ll get through it, but it is going to be a long road for him.”

“I fear he will not have that much time to adjust.”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan said. “Quite right.”

Obi-Wan didn’t notice his knee was bouncing up and down until Padmé put a steadying hand on it. He looked down at her delicate fingers and then back up at her. “I’m sorry, I—”

“You can talk to me, Obi-Wan,” she said softly. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Obi-Wan hesitated before letting the flood gates open.

“It’s just… Our people, our galaxy is at war and I’m… I’m scared,” Obi-Wan admitted. He didn’t know why he was admitting that to a senator of all people, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. “As Jedi, we do not fear death, because there is always the Force. We do not fear loss, because there is no attachment. But...”

“Then what is it you are scared of, Master Kenobi?”

“I fear we will lose ourselves,” Obi-Wan said. “We are not warriors, Padmé. We are not meant to fight battles on the behalf of governments. We are meant to bring peace and order to the galaxy. We are not meant to sow ruin. It is not our way.”

“You haven’t exactly been given much of a choice,” Padmé said. “People all over the galaxy need the help of the Jedi to protect them from the atrocities of the Separatists.”

“I know,” Obi-Wan said. “I know this and I will give everything to the fight if I have to. It’s just...”

“It’s okay to be scared, Master Kenobi,” Padmé said.

“There is no emotion,” Obi-Wan said quietly. “There is only the Force.”

“That must be comforting,” Padmé said. She was not being sarcastic. She meant what she said, and Obi-Wan felt himself warming to her.

“It is,” he said. “But even the most familiar of comforts can feel hollow in the face of war.”

“When I was a girl, I loved holofilms with happy endings.”

Obi-Wan looked at her in confusion at the quick change of subject, but her eyes stayed on Anakin. “How come?” he decided to ask.

“I liked the idea that even if the characters had a rough beginning, they would claw and fight their way through the middle. I liked the idea that, even if they struggled all the way through, they would be rewarded.”

“It is a pleasant notion,” Obi-Wan agreed, still not quite catching the senator’s meaning.

“There was always something nice about watching the hero go off into the sunset. The lovers living happily ever after. The children getting to grow up,” she continued.

“Why are you telling me this, Senator?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Because,” she said, turning her eyes to Obi-Wan. “What if there is no happy ending for us?”

It was a heavy question to ask and Obi-Wan struggled to find a response.

“I’m scared too, Master Kenobi,” Padmé said in his silence. “I’m scared this war will mean that none of us will get out unscathed.”

And in that moment Obi-Wan did not see the queen-turned-senator of Naboo. He saw a young woman struggling to come to terms with the new realities that came with war. He saw a young woman worrying about someone she cared about, just as he was.

He saw a friend.

It was not hard for Obi-Wan to slip into his role as a mentor, a teacher, a guide. If Senator Amidala could be there for him, he could be there for her. He cleared his throat.

“As Jedi, we are taught to stay focused on what is around us, not what is ahead of us.”

“It’s difficult,” Padmé said.

“I know. But if we dwell too much on what may be, we’ll never focus on what is.”

“Do all Jedi talk like you?”

“Most of us,” Obi-Wan laughed. “Though Anakin seems to have his own approach.”

“He certainly does.”

If there was a deeper meaning to her words, Obi-Wan chose to ignore it.

This time, when silence fell over them, it was comfortable.

“I should let you tend to your Padawan,” Padmé said after some time, she stood up and shifted her eyes away from Anakin and back to Obi-Wan. “Do let me know how he is when he wakes up. I wish to see him all right.”

“Of course, Senator,” Obi-Wan said.

Padmé took her leave and Obi-Wan was left alone with Anakin and his thoughts.

He took a moment to ponder what it would mean to have a happy ending before chasing the thought away.

Somehow he knew he wasn’t going to get one.

#my writing #obi-wan and padme are friends change my mind #obi-wan and padme rights #obi wan kenobi #padme amidala

[ladyeliot]

It will always be you

Prequel: Stay with me

Pairing: Tony Stark x Avenger Female Reader

Summary: The snap has happened, the return of Wakanda has not been as you all expected, but now you have to face reality, and you just can't stop thinking about him, about Tony.

Warnings: Angst, Fluff.

Word count: 4101

A/N: Post Infinity War. Some of the dialogue is taken from the film. Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

Reader Powers: Psionic. You use psionic force to track any sentient being. You also create psychic shields to protect yourself. You can project psychic force bolts which have no physical effects but which can affect a victim's mind, causing them pain.

Life is a continuous struggle of choices that you have to make without stopping to think for a second. It is said that hope is the last thing to be lost, probably because the choice you made almost left you without it. You must also learn that happiness is the last thing to be found, probably because the choice you have made has made you unhappier than you will ever be. Your life has been full of choices, you might have regretted many of them, but you decided at the time to make them, so you never allowed yourself to regret your actions, until that day.

Three weeks after Thanos snapped, hope was completely lost. The new facility has been uncharacteristically silent, no one has been able to say more than two words in a row, and you had barely managed to say one since your return from Wakanda. Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, James Rhodes, Bruce Banner and you, those were the surviving Avengers, the ones that life had given you a second chance, but it didn't really feel like one.

You were in your old room, old because two years ago one of your decisions had taken you away from that place, yes, you were against the Sokovia Accords, that had led you to take the side of the Captain and to fight against the side of Iron Man, who had been the person who had saved you from the madness that your powers had generated in your mind. But even if you had turned against him, you knew you owed him everything. Evidently this was something he didn't understand, which led to a wide rift that had never been bridged on either side, and which led to a breakdown in your relationship of closeness.

Every corner of that room had been kept exactly as you had left it that night when you fled with Wanda. Your drawings together with the charcoals scattered on the desk, the book 'In Search of Lost Time' by Marcel Proust on the bedside table and that bracelet that Tony had given you for your 26th birthday that you had left next to the open jewellery box on the bed. It was really painful to see all of this, knowing that those facilities would probably never be what they once were, that Wanda would not suddenly appear at your door, that you would never sit around the dinner table and that Tony would not occupy the armchair next to your bed to try to cheer you up after a mission that hadn't gone so well. You didn't know whether frustration was taking over the fear and sadness or whether you just didn't know how to control your feelings on that occasion.

The days were long, each of you working in silence trying to make sense of what had happened, looking for a solution that would never come to the problem. You shared the hours, but the solitude that enveloped you was too austere to realise that there was a person by your side. You didn't know Thanos' location, however, even if you did, especially if you did, it had become clear that you could not stand alone against his entire army.

"Would you like some?" asked Natasha offering you a plate with a veggie sandwich on it, which you took with an almost soundless 'thank you'.

Yes, actually that had been your first word in five days, since you said goodnight to Bruce last Sunday, food and sleep were not high on your priorities, especially when you spent the night using your telepathic detection trying to find some sign of life that would make you believe Tony was alive, but it was useless. Your psionic senses allowed you to track any sentient being, you were able to scan large areas, but your ability did not address the entire universe.

That night your spirits seemed to be running low to the ground, three weeks without having achieved anything that would allow you to have any lucidity in your plans was too long as the situation stood. You could hear in the background a soft murmur coming from a conversation between Natasha and Steve, but you weren't really paying attention to it, it was all in your thoughts. But at that instant, an inner burst made them evaporate. A signal came into your brain, a psionic emanation that alerted you to the presence of a spaceship entering the stratosphere, with a fixed direction, yours. You rose from your chair, standing upright, capturing the attention of the people around you. You closed your eyes, heightening all your senses, taking in all the information that was coming to you, at that moment you felt it. You opened your eyes and looked at them.

"He's here," were the only words you could utter before you rushed outside. Your companions soon followed your path, asking questions to explain what was happening, but your inner euphoria prevented you from saying a single word.

That ship appeared above you as you raced across the garden, night was falling relentlessly and you could only glimpse a halo of light that seemed to direct the ship as it landed delicately on the wide grassy esplanade. The five of you paused, taking in the scene, discovering how a side door opened to project a flight of stairs. When you saw his face for the first time your lungs deflated, letting out all the air they had accumulated over a long period of time. Your body went rigid and you didn't react until Steve ran past you and approached the ship to help him down.

He looked terrible, it was evident in every facial feature and in his body movements, you knew what you had been through, but you had no idea what Tony had been through since his disappearance in New York, although you could get a pretty good idea. Before your eyes were Steve and Tony in custody, reunited again, after all that had happened, none of it mattered, at least not to you, and perhaps you had a vain hope that it didn't matter to anyone else either. Even so you didn't know how to act when your eyes connected with his, for a slight moment you wanted to approach him, offer him a hug and tell him that you were relieved to discover that he was there, with you, after all, but you chose to stay where you were, next to Natasha.

It wasn't until you headed inside that the stiffness disappeared from your body. A whispered 'are you okay' from Steve made you react again and pay attention to Natasha's words that were projecting all the information gathered during those days.

"The governments are destroyed," she reported as she projected images showing the missing, like Wilson, Maximoff and Parker, among others, "the working parts are trying to do a census, and it looks like he did it. He did what he said he would do. Thanos wiped out 50% of all living things."

Silence echoed around you, you were sitting in an armchair, somewhat away from the other members, playing with your fingers, trying not to look up, until he spoke.

"Where is he now?" asked Tony. "Where?"

"We don't know," Steve informed him from beside you, sitting at a table. "He opened a portal and went through it. We looked for Thanos for three weeks, with deep space scanners," Steve looked at you, "and satellites, and we found nothing." He looked at Tony. "Tony, you fought him."

"What are you talking about?" asked Tony from his wheelchair. "I didn't fight him. No, he wiped my face with a planet while the wizard gave away the store. That's what happened, there's no fight..."

You took a breath and sighed, because you could contemplate what was about to happen right now, the nerves were there along with the negativity and failure of some of the superheroes on that planet and others, and you knew it could explode at any moment.

"Tony, I'm going to need you to focus..." Steve repeated again hoping that Tony would offer him some clue as to the whereabouts of Thanos.

"I needed you," interrupted Tony in a raised tone. "as in past tense.  That trumps what you need. It's too late, buddy. Sorry." He used a second of his silence to look at Steve and another second to look at you, who stood beside him. You took in most of the feelings hidden in his gaze, and none of them were positive or forgiving. "You know what I need? I need a shave," he tried to get out of the wheelchair, taking everything on the table in his stride. "I don't believe I ever remember telling you this..." he ripped out the IV that connected the drip to his left arm. "To the living and the dead, What we needed was a suit of armor around the world! Remember that? Whether it impacted our precious freedoms or not," he looked back at you and Steve repeatedly. "That's what we needed!”

The discussion continued, avoiding an upset Tony explaining everything he thought about the current and past situation, ignoring the suggestions Rhodes was giving him to calm down and take his seat again.

"[...] Bunch of tired old wheels!" he pointed at Steve. "I got nothin' for you, Cap! I've got no coordinates, no clues, no strategies, no options! Zero, zip, nada. No trust - liar."

Almost ipso facto he turned to you ripped off the reactor prostrate on his chest and handed it to Steve in his hand, leaving those present virtually speechless, if you still had any left.

"Here, take this. You'll find him, if you put that on. You hide-"

After those words you gazed again into his eyes full of resentment at the past, before his body could take it no more and he collapsed in the middle of the room.

In the hours that followed, you were the shadow of a ghost gazing at him from a distance from the door frame of one of the recovery rooms in the new complex. On the one hand fearing his reaction against you when he woke up, while on the other hand wanting to hear it because you knew that sooner or later it would come but you wanted it to come as soon as possible so that you could face it. Those words she had said to Steve were harsh, but they were really nothing to what you expected might happen. It seemed absurd at the time to have entertained the idea that it might have been forgotten.

"Bruce gave him a sedative," Rhodes said, looking up at you, who were leaning against the doorframe. "He'll be unconscious for the rest of the day. Do you want to sit down?"

"No...I'd better..." but Rhodes didn't allow you to finish your words, as he had risen from the armchair next to Tony and offered it to you. "Thank you."

The door to the room ajar to offer you some more privacy. As you turned your gaze towards him you realised the fragility his body conveyed in those moments, he had spent weeks wandering through space not knowing if he was going to get the chance to return home again and yet he had been able to stay alive and find himself there. You closed your eyes and settled back on the couch, you remembered the first time you did that with Tony, he had spent too much time without sleep after the events after the Chitauri invasion, he could barely sleep because of the nightmares and he begged you to stop them every night, so with your eyes closed you concentrated and invaded his mind with caution releasing the tension you found in it and giving him the peace he needed. When you opened your eyes again, her expression seemed to have changed, she seemed to have found some relief inside her, that fact made you smile. But a knock on the door woke you up.

"We need to talk," Steve's words sounded serious.

A new piece of information about Thanos' whereabouts came as a surprise, but for you the surprise came right after.

"Wait, is this some kind of punishment or something?" you said completely dumbfounded, just outside the room where Tony was, with what Steve was proposing. "Why me?"

"Because we need someone to stay with Tony," he said calmly crossing his arms.

"Is it because I'm the smallest of the whole team? Because I could really knock you all out right now with the blink of an eye," you said crossing your arms too.

"It's because Tony needs you," Steve lowered his tone, "and you need him."

There was nothing but truth in those words. You didn't know if Tony really needed you, but what you had assumed was that you'd needed him for a long time, and you'd put a lot of things before that need, creating your close relationship to go to shit, basically.

"I wouldn't forgive myself if something happened to you on this mission," Steve said frankly. "And he wouldn't forgive me either if I said that happened."

You lowered your face as you nodded, accepting his words and the job you had been given.

"Be very careful," you said before Steve disappeared from in front of you to take a path that you had no idea what could be in store for them.

From that moment on, the hours went by really slowly, you took your position in that armchair again, you needed to have a clear mind, you couldn't continue martyring yourself with all the events that had happened, so you started reading 'In Search of Lost Time', that book that had been forgotten on the bedside table since you left that place. News was nil, you barely got a sign of what might be happening and you knew it would probably be days before you got it. 

Night was falling on the compound again, Tony was barely making any sign of waking up, which also gave you time to consider how the situation would play out, and various possibilities for coping with it. Some of his belongings had been salvaged from the ship, and his helmet, or rather what was left of it, stared at you from the dresser in the room. Without having a reason in mind you approached him, causing a blue light to suddenly flash across his eyes, showing you his figure in the middle of the room.

"Is it on?" a figure of a seated, completely haggard Tony appeared before your eyes. "Hey, Ms. Y/L/N, Y/N," your brow furrowed, but you approached his reflection. "If you find this footage don't put it on social media, it'll be really tearful," his words brought a sad smile to your face. "I don't know if you'll watch these videos. I don't even know if you're still... Oh god, I hope so..." there was a silence from his words, but you could see him bring his hands to his face, something inside you cracked. "I guess it's easier to do this if you know the chances of seeing you again are practically nil," something inside you made your heart shrink. "I probably should have realised this a lot sooner," he fell silent, "yeah, but I was busy trying not to hate you too much, you know, when you decided to abandon me and choose the other side," exhaustion almost prevented him from keeping his eyes open. "Anyway, anyway that made me realise how important you had been to me," he let his gaze wander, "I tried to be there for you ever since I met you and... god, this is getting too depressing," he ran his hand over his face. "I just want you to know that I wish you were here, because you're the only person I'd like to share my last hours with," he nodded slightly, you knew what he was trying to say with those words, which made your eyes water. "Don't feel bad about this, I mean, if you stay prostrate for a couple of weeks... and then move on with immense guilt..." he hid his face in the palm of his hand and closed his eyes, you wiped away a tear that ran down your cheek keeping the bitter smile you had been wearing all along. "I want you to know... when I've fallen asleep, it will be like the nights we spent together. I'm fine. All right," he gestured towards you. "I'll dream of you. Because it will always be you."

Suddenly, as if nothing had happened, his image disappeared in front of your eyes, leaving you with hundreds of feelings invading your body and mind. You looked up and there he was, still there, sleeping pleasantly, barely knowing what had just happened. You hurriedly wiped away the last tear running down your cheek and sat back down, putting your feet up on the couch, unable to take your eyes off him. Perhaps those thoughts were drawn from his most desperate moments, believing that his life was about to come to an end, perhaps he was unwilling to show them to you now that he had resumed the course of his life, so even though it was not possible you tried to send them to a hidden place in your mind.

You had hardly slept in those three weeks, your mind hadn't rested for days and you didn't know why, but finding yourself curled up in that armchair next to Tony was giving you back the tranquillity your body hadn't known for too long. It was impossible to stop your eyelids from closing, on the contrary you were willing them to do so and for sleep to warmly invade your body, no matter how long you could stay asleep. That's how it happened, making the hours pass without you even noticing. 

Like a little gust of wind, something in your body made the light enter through your eyelashes. Slowly you opened your eyes, feeling in various parts of your body a tightness due to the position in which you had fallen asleep in that armchair. You discovered that a woollen blanket covered your limbs, but what kept you alert was the bed next to you was completely empty. Tony wasn't there. You jumped up, looking around, the bedroom door was ajar and Iron Man's helmet was missing.

"Tony?" you asked, raising your voice, stepping out into the hallway. "Tony! Where are you?"

You barely heard an answer, so you were thankful those powers were within you, you stopped in the middle of the corridor and closed your eyes, your receptors picked up a signal coming from downstairs, it was him. You found him leaning on the kitchen counter, his eyes closed as he tried to stand. You ran to him, grabbing his arm to hold him up.

"What do you think you're doing?" you said, leading him to the nearest armchair in the living room.

You discovered that he had shaved, taken a shower and was wearing one of his Tom Ford suits that were so recognisable to you. That meant he had been wandering around the house unsupervised for over an hour without waking you up. You knelt down next to him.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" you asked with a worried look on your face as you contemplated that he was extremely tired. "Bruce gave a set of instructions for you to follow, you can't just walk around..."

"It was your turn?" he cut you off with an angry tone. "Be my babysitter? How did you do it? Did you draw lots?" his countenance was serious, you could still see the puffiness in his eyes and his face fully dehydrated. "Whoever draws the shortest stick gets to look after poor Stark, all right, listen..."

"No! You listen to me," you cut him off, raising your tone above his, standing up and resting your hands on each armrest "Tony, we all lost. We all fought and lost, none of us made it," your face was three feet above his. "So now all we can do is try, in some completely illogical way, to move the situation forward. And if we can't, at least look to the future by doing our best to honour those we have lost."

Silence flooded over you.

"So please don't make the situation more complicated," you continued, lowering your tone, almost begging him. "If I've stayed with you it's because Steve has made me understand some things, because yes, it wasn't really my intention to stay with you from the start, but then I realised that if anyone had to stay with you it was me. I realised that if I had to risk my life again I didn't want to go on the mission, because that would mean never seeing you again.And I've also realised that I've needed you for a long time, that I'm finally by your side and I have no intention of separating from you. Whether you like it or not." Tony cut his gaze with yours by ducking it, but brought his right hand over yours.

That gesture provoked you to bring your other hand to his face, placing a gentle caress on his cheek.

"I know there are a lot of things we need to talk about, but one thing we do have is time," you explained as Tony intertwined his fingers with yours. "So please, don't do anything more stupid and don't disappear," maybe it was the atmosphere generated by the situation, but you risked saying the next words. "Because it will always be you."

Tony closed his eyes a little regretfully, a little embarrassedly, and brought his free hand to his face.

"I knew you saw that," he added calmly removing his hand from his face. "Well, at least I've saved myself from having to repeat it in person."

"I'm not sure I got it right," you said falsely. "You know, there was a lot of interference, and besides, I couldn't really understand what you were saying, so..."

"Sorry, there was only one pass for the film," he said wryly which caused you to smile widely as you rediscovered that the old Tony was still hidden in it. "We won't know when there will be a revival."

"Too bad, I really liked that movie," you sat down on the armrest without letting go of his hand and looking up at him.

"Really?" he asked for the first time modestly, and putting aside all the irony that surrounded the situation.

"Totally," you nodded, trying to express all the many feelings through your eyes.

Silence again kept you company, until Tony somewhat uncomfortably broke it.

"I suppose you know that by now I would have kissed you and created a fully effective plan to make love to you for hours until you begged me to stop in pleasure," he stated lamely, "although I think if you give me a couple of hours..."

"All right, Don Juan," you cut him off with a chuckle, "we'd better leave all that for later, and I'll take you back to bed now."

"I think it's a good start if you take me to bed," he continued with his insinuations.

You got up from the armrest and helped him put his arm around your shoulders, even though he repeatedly told you he could walk unaided. 

"Have we heard from the team?" he asked, slowly climbing the steps of the ladder.

"Soon," you said with a halo of hope. 

You definitely made it back to the room, having made it successfully through the journey. You helped him get rid of the shoes and shirt that his pride had forced him to wear, but which now made no sense when he was going back to bed.

"See, you're finally going to get what you wanted, I'm undressing you," you said jokingly causing a smile to appear on Tony's face as he lay back down. "You rest, I'll be here. I'll always be here."

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