#it's that lack of empathy and calculation | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

baldursgate3tempobsessed · 7 months

Text

Soft Astarion Jealousy

Now with part 2!

I love Ascended Astarion because he's horrible but the sweetness of the other end of the spectrum is impossible to deny. He's just so in love and grateful I can't 🥺🥺

So here's some jealousy that isn't psychotic. Well it is but not as bad:

Astarion never expected to be the jealous type. He always thought...well. In all honesty he never thought about the reality of having a relationship. He didn't even think it was possible for him, let alone the idea that he would actually want it. Even with you, even after he admitted a fraction of his own feelings to himself, he never thought that he would be so... possessive. Though admittedly, he had very good cause for it.

Because you were frustrating. So, so frustrating. For some idiotic reason, you simply didn't understand how alluring to others you really were. You were a pretty little thing, yes but that wasn't the problem. It was so much more than that. And he knew that the others wanted you. Every last one of them. Lae'zel, Shadowheart, Wyll, Karlach, Gale, Halsin. All of them like moths to a flame. And that wasn't even counting all of the strangers you had met on your journey, the extras that thought they had a shot with your greatness. They all wanted you in ways that made Astarion seethe. And the desire from others wasn't even the kind that he was used to, the kind he understood like the back of his hand. Because you didn't need to seduce to cultivate desire. All you needed to stoke the flames was merely your presence. Experiencing you was all that was required for people to know they wanted more.

Astarion knew that the others weren't just looking for a bedmate, they wanted you for the same reasons he had grown to. Your empathy, your desire to understand those around you. Your fearlessness, your infuriating habit of always trying to do the right thing. They wanted you for your laugh, the way your eyes would crinkle in the corners when your smile was too wide. Your silly jokes, your endless hopefulness for a future. It felt as though everyone around saw you for the gem that you were and it was... concerning. Extremely concerning.

Astarion hated thinking about things like this. He loathed admitting the truth to himself even more. But he was...terrified of losing you to someone else. Especially since it could so easily be done. He was so very lucky that you weren't the brightest, or at least not when it came to matters of the heart. You could do so much better than him, a fact that was incredibly obvious to everyone around you. Everyone but you, a luck that Astarion did not take lightly. But how much time did he have before it ran out? Would it ever?

Perhaps it was delusional, but he was starting to think when all of this was over, assuming neither of you perished anyway, that...it could just be the two of you. Living together, exploring the world, even if it had to be under the cloak of night. Maybe... maybe the two of you could even find a cure for his unsavory condition. The thought itself was incredibly stupid, but then again, it was just as idiotic to believe that there was a cure to the Mind Flayer parasite. But here they were, closer then ever. And if that was such an impossibility turned into reality, perhaps a vampiric cure wasn't so impossible. Or maybe even finding an alternative method for immortality for you, without the downsides of his own. Anything that could just keep you both together, for as long as possible. It was an unrealistic dream, that would never come into fruition. If anything it was dangerous, so very dangerous to even entertain the thought of forever. Especially when your connection was so tenuous.

Astarion would never be stupid enough to thank Cazador for anything but...he'd be lying if he said he wasn't appreciative for his own lack of subtly when it came to seducing you. Even if it originally was for distasteful reasons, it still got him ahead of the pack. If he had been less calculating, less astute, there was a sincere chance that you would be warming someone else's bed at night. Callousness would never be without it's uses, even if it led to uncomfortable situations like his current infatuation.

What would he do when you inevitably wanted to leave? How could he survive after having something so...good. Someone so caring, someone who for some very horrifying reason liked being around him. And the sex... it was fabulous. He was a massive fan of your intimacy, when he was capable of participating in it. He adored it, he adored you, your beauty, the sweet noises he could coax from your mouth, the europhia of being inside of you. Then there was the fact that you could be intimate without any traces of it devolving into lovemaking. He had never been gifted with the ability to say no before, so often and so freely without a single fear of punishment. If anything, it felt like he was rewarded when he was honest with you, when he would share his sudden fits of discomfort in his own body, the memories that plagued him and doomed him to staying stubbornly soft. You would never get angry, never even disappointed. You would just listen and smile, always adorable when you would ask, "But I can stay for a cuddle, can't I?"

An extremely silly question, considering the two of you hadn't spent a night apart from each other since you'd made it to the Shadowlands. Yet it never failed to make him melt.

It was getting worse, these feelings. He just wanted you around, by his side, constantly. Constant enough for him to get the ridiculous urge to hiss at anyone else who dared to come near you. He felt an intense need to protect the closeness the both of you had cultivated, the kind that he had never been allowed before. He had no interest in sharing you with your own friends when it came down to it, let alone another lover.

Which is precisely why his original, mild distaste for Halsin turned into a full-blown hatred the night he had the gall to proposition you.

It had felt like a shard of ice going through his chest when you bounded over to him, laughing about one of his greatest fears coming much too close to reality, "You won't believe the conversation Halsin and I just had-"

"Ah, I was wondering when you were going to ask me about that," Astarion laughed, purposefully interrupting you. He had no desire to hear the specifics of that conversation. He didn't even want to be having this conversation, where you were inevitably going to ask if it was okay to explore someone else.

The answer was no. Never would he be okay with it, allowing someone else to be close to what should have been his. But he needed to think strategically here. To say no could be disasterous. If it became a game of choice between him and Halsin... he's almost certain he would lose. Halsin was everything he wasn't; caring, giving, sharing in your worldviews in a way that Astarion never could. He couldn't risk it, he wouldn't. Having you at all was better than nothing.

"But I'd never even consider something like that-"

"It's fine," Astarion interrupts again, the fakest smile he can muster plastered on his face. The pain was worth the risk mitigation, he was sure of that. But... he still had to ask, "But is this because we haven't...y'know, in awhile?"

A sick part of him prays that you'll say yes. Because if that's the reason, he could do something about it. He could force himself if need be to always tend to your needs. Especially if it meant keeping you to himself. It was such a small sacrifice in comparison to the rest of his life. He would do it in a heartbeat if you demanded, anything to just make you stay.

But that was not the answer he received. Instead you frowned, looking him up and down, "What? No, I-Astarion no. Please don't think that. What we have together is so special to me. The physical part of it is lovely, perfect even. But...it's not what we are."

It's almost comforting to hear you say that. But then why did that make the situation feel so much worse? If it wasn't sex you were after then that certainly meant you wanted more with Halsin as well, did it not? But it was too late to rescind it now.

Astarion nodded, a confused mixture of hurt and gratefulness swirling through him, "I just needed to know. But if you're satisfied with me and just want to explore, go right ahead. I'll be here when you're done."

You nodded slowly, brow furrowed when you asked, "So...we aren't exclusive then?"

"No, of course not," Astarion confirmed, ignoring everything inside of him that was screaming for him to take it all back, "We can be as open as you'd like."

"I see..." You said, trailing off with a frown. You coughed into your hand, looking up at him sharply. Sharp enough for him to be sincerely confused, "Does this mean that you'll be speaking to me before you explore your other options?"

"I-yes? If you want?" Astarion answered, a new type of unease settling in his chest. You didn't seem very happy with this conversation, despite his best attempts to give you what you wanted. Where had he gone wrong? Was he already working to throw you into the arm's of another man, without even trying?

You were still frowning at him, your look cold in a way that made him feel particularly ill, "Please do. I'd like to know everything. I'm going to speak to Halsin, get this all sorted. We can talk later."

And then you were spinning on your heel and marching away, like Astarion was the offensive party here. It made no sense. He had done it all right, hadn't he? Agreed to it immediately, didn't make you feel guilty, had tried to be what you wanted. How had he failed?

He didn't wait around to see you go to Halsin. Instead he went straight back to his tent, closing the flap as he laid down. Great. Fantastic. Now he would have to be aware, perhaps even hear you being with another, while simultaneously reliving that horrid conversation in his head for the entire night. The hurt and worry was making his mind wander to uncomfortable places. Perhaps...Halsin could be dealt with in another way if things became too serious between the two of you.

Would poisoning the man be too extreme?

But before Astarion had the time to start thinking of a more detailed plan he was interrupted. Suddnely, moonlight was filling his tent, with your silleoute shining in the darkness.

He blinked up at you, confused, "What are you doing here?"

You frowned at him, looking hesitant in the entry way, "Should I not be? I thought-I can go if you'd like."

"No!" Astarion blurted out, loud and desperate enough to make him cringe. He cleared his throat, trying again, his voice still a touch too pitiful for his liking, "No, no, come here darling. Of course you're always welcome. I just assumed you would be busy."

To his relief you listened, crawling into the bedroll next to him. Astarion didn't waste any time in wrapping his arms around you, relieved to humiliating degrees that you had chosen to come back after the deed. Though...you didn't quite smell as he had thought you would. There were no traces of the floral, woodsy smell of the druid on your skin. Just the sweet, pleasant scent that he had grown so fond of.

You sighed as he tucked you against him, the warmth of you enough to make him relax for the first time that night. You laid together in a pleasant quiet, one that Astarion was actually scared to disturb. Despite the fact that he desperately wanted to know what happened between the two of you.

But you broke the silence for him, muttering into his chest after the two of you were settled, "I'm...sorry for being snappish earlier. I shouldn't have been. You didn't do anything wrong, and I know I don't own you. I shouldn't have assumed."

Astarion frowned, pulling back to get a proper look at your face. You looked hurt, sad even. Like you were the one who had gotten their heart broken. He could feel a curl of distaste settling in his stomach, annoyed that this felt as though the situation was being placed back to him. He had played his part, perfectly. What more could you ask for? What was there to assume?

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean," Astarion carefully said, his eyes fixed on every micro expression on your face, "What did I do that could have been construed as incorrect?"

"Nothing!" You rushed to say, shame coloring your cheeks, "I was being stupid. You never promised me anything. I just...assumed. Wrongly that we were something we aren't."

That didn't-he-what? Astarion frowned at her, his confusion evident on his face, "What did you think we were?"

You looked uncomfortable, avoiding his gaze when you answered, "I thought that we were...together. Alone. Just us. But if that's not what you want I understand. It's fine-"

"What in the hells are you talking about?" Astarion blurted out, his anger and pain bubbling to the surface, "I haven't done a thing. And we were just us before you decided to galivant off with a bear of a man!"

He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. So much for playing things safely. No, he couldn't even have the self-control to stay quiet. He always had to ruin everything.

But surprisingly, you didn't look angry. If anything you seemed just as confused as he felt, "What? I didn't-we didn't do anything! When did I say I wanted to do anything with Halsin? You were the one saying you didn't care!"

You weren't making any damn sense, "Well why else would you ask me about it?"

"I didn't!" You huffed, glaring at him, "All I was going to say was that he asked me. And I wanted your help on how to best turn him down! And then you jumped at the chance to push me onto someone else-"

"I did nothing of the sort!" Astarion seethed back, "If it was up to me you would never look at another man again! Or woman for that matter!"

It was an odd feeling, to be arguing while holding each other so closely. But Astarion had no intention of letting you go anytime soon, even if he could feel you squirming against his ironclad grip when you fumed at him, "Then why would you say it was okay?!"

"Because I don't want you to leave me!" He shouted back, loud enough to snap him out of his own anger. All of his fury was instantly replaced with fear. Gods, why had he felt the need to say that? To lay his biggest insecurity out on the line. Why not just hand you a stake while he was at it, since he was so eager to give you the tools to destroy him.

But you were still seething, hissing back at him, "Why praytell, would I leave the man I've been in love with for months? Hm? Please, explain it to me!"

Astarion couldn't. He was too busy being shell-shocked at the confession, feeling too many emotions at once. Joy, relief, somehow even more fear than before. You so freely said the words that he had done his damndest to bury, to ignore. But now they were out there, filling him with a horrifying joy.

He wanted to say it back. He did. But he couldn't get the wrecthed words out. Instead he was just staring at you like an imbeicle, his mouth hanging opening at the confession.

But his silence didn't make you falter. Instead you looked determined, near fierce as you grasped his face into your warm hands, "I love you Astarion. You don't have to say it back. That's not what this is about. But I want you. And only you. If you want the same of me then you must tell me. Now."

Astarion let his hands flutter over your wrists, humiliating tears prickling at his eyes. But at least his vocal chords allowed him to answer you this time, "I do. So much more than you know. I want us. Just us. No one else."

The words were flowing out of him, too fast and sincere for him to make the appropriate edits in his head. He was saying too much, feeling too much, giving too much. But the way your eyes brightened at his words, the way you grinned at him before pulling him in for a sweet kiss made it suddenly feel like he wasn't giving anything up at all.

As much as he loathed to admit it, Astarion was exceedingly grateful for Halsin's existence after that night. He would never have had the gall to demand you to himself without a trigger, without the anger you both shared at being misunderstood. Because now, you were his. His alone, the proclamation coming from your own lips. And he was free to stop hiding how much he had wanted it. How willing he was to do anything to keep it. He let himself off his own leash after that, leaning completely into the mutual ownership you had of each other. No more would he silently sit back and seethe as a stranger flirted with you. No, now he'd be upfront and center, with a possessive hand around your waist as he glared them down, more than prepared with a confidence-shattering quip on his tongue.

He started to let all of his urges seep through, taking full advantage of your willingness. If Wyll looked at you for too long at the fire, with a touch of something that Astarion didn't like in his eyes, he'd effortlessly pull you into his lap onlookers be damned as breathed you in. If Gale suddenly had a suspect offer to teach you some new magic in a secluded location, Astarion would invite himself, impervious to any glares sent his way. And when he felt as though all of them were being a bit too flirtaious, he was more than happy to put them in their places at night. Spending hours upon hours making you scream his name in bed from pleasure, loud enough for everyone to hear and know exactly who you belonged to.

He couldn't care less if it added to his own unpopularity amongst their merry-band of rejects. Their opinions didn't matter. Not when you were eating all of the sudden attention up.

You let him do it all because you understood him, in ways that no one else had bothered to before. You knew who he was, what he wanted, the extent to how much he craved your attention. And you let it all happened, reveled in it even. The intense shows of affection. Because you loved him. And he loved you. And one of these days he'd allow himself to admit the obvious.

But for now, he had what he wanted. What he needed. And in the first time in his life, even with disgusting tadpoles squirming his his brain, Astarion was actually...happy.

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion fic #long fic #you'll pry my long posts out of my cold dead hands #may add a dirty part two here #dirty sweet

7K notes · View notes

borderlinebelle · 3 months

Text

🗣️🧠

Has anyone ever taken a stimulant for ADHD and it cured your manic mess but simultaneously erased your creative joyful childlike wonder at the world and your interest in the people you share it with?

💊

Am I cured or broken indefinitely to better suit “adulthood”?

🙃

As I wade through the vibrant and manic mess that was the BEFORE STIMULANTS and I look out onto the starkly dull and muted tones of the AFTERS STIMULANTS… the pendulum swings and I violently and obediently bend with it.

🫡

I can balance my budget now. Proficient in punctuality and productivity. Finishing work projects that used to take weeks? EASY. Calculating and efficient, I am almost unemotional as I smash through barriers that once kept me at a stand still for weeks.

🥇

The counter balance to these super abilities is glaring:

👀

1. I find it difficult to produce an ounce of creativity.

2. I am colder, more calculating.

3. I find empathy over other people’s emotions a far off tingle of familiarity I reach for and only brush.

4. I find even accessing my own emotions to be difficult.

5. I find little pleasure from completing tasks just a dull and far off ✅ that reminds me of pleasure but has none of the organic material.

6. I lack spark behind my eyes.

🗣️🧠

In conclusion, the video I filmed for today’s YOUTUBE launch felt… soulless and lacking. It felt disingenuous. I wasn’t talking to YOU, my mental health friends. I was just … talking.

😪

TO BE BRUTALLY HONEST: I’m unsure how to proceed with the channel, with my content… with my identity outside of MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL … I feel really really defeated if I’m honest. I’ve spent my entire adult life in survival mode and for the first time, on this new medication, I can see dozens of strategies to LEAVE SURVIVAL and CHASE AFTER THRIVE… but I didn’t think it would COST ME… my personality, my creativity, my identity.

🔎🤷🏽‍♀️

Idk but, I guess .. that’s the way with these things. Mental health, medication, stabilization…

🫥

Mental health isn’t “pretty and punctual” so said my producer tonight. It can ALSO be “imperfect and valuable”. Nothing is a perfect science, everyone is just doing their best I guess.

😮‍💨

Fighting your own brain 🧠 daily, hourly, weekly, monthly, yearly is exhausting work. I’m so deeply proud of everyone out there choosing to fight another day. I hope to continue being as brave and resilient as you all are.

🫣

It’s 12:00am. I’ve officially missed the “NEW VIDEO EVERY SUNDAY” standard I set for myself and I have to admit I’m taking it very poorly and I feel pretty defeated, but I had to come let the few who support my cross platform… that I’m sorry I couldn’t get there today.

🫀

Returning to YouTube after being run off by a parasocial making very real threats years ago, has been a delicious dream of mine for so long.

💭

I just deactivated both my Instagram and Facebook as they were both just reminding me of this missed deadline, of this empty channel, of what feels like a failure. In the age of comparison and competition, TO BE A HUMAN IS NOT EASY.

😬

So I’ll regroup, recoup, lean into coping mechanisms, touch base with my therapist + psychiatrist… and keep trying to find a way through.

💙

Thank you for your interest in my content.

🥸

I appreciate you deeply.

🫶🏽

I anticipate that this hopefully … won’t be the end.

🖊️ xoxo borderlinebelle

174 notes · View notes

3hks · 4 months

Text

Types of Protagonists

Merry Christmas, everyone! For this special day, I decided to release a hopefully more interesting and helpful post! As always, I made up MOST of the names to get the general idea across. (The internet is only so helpful and only so specific.) But having said that, here are some different types of main characters!The Hero - We all grew up with this one, this character's whole goal is just to be able to make a positive impact on the world. They're often caring, sometimes unnecessarily so, kind, and determined!

>>> The Antihero - An antihero is a character whose actions are morally wrong, as they seem like they'd be villains in any other story. However, they do everything with a positive purpose and motive in mind! Lastly, this character is usually more ruthless and apathetic towards others than the common person.

>>> The Villain - Were you surprised? Yes, a villain can absolutely be the main character of the story! They're simply the antagonist, but with the story based on their point of view. Despite that, don't get this mixed up with an antihero! A stereotypical villain really doesn't have much good behind their motives.

>>> The Average One - This character is meant to connect with the readers. They aren't anything special and don't stick out in any particular way, as their emotions and responses are meant to be relatable to the majority of the audience. They may have a couple of exceptional traits, but those are typically supernatural and don't interfere with their personality!

>>> The Cold Calculator - This is one of the more specific types that I couldn't research explicitly about online. The Cold Calculator is a character type that is, well, cold and calculating! They have an impressively high amount of intelligence, which they use to achieve their objectives. Additionally, they are able to manipulate people, yet there's a lack of empathy for them. They are self-centered and focus only on their goals, disregarding those around them. Normally, this character isn't meant to stick out too much from the crowd, but naturally, there can be exceptions!

>>> The Hidden Genius - To be honest, I don't see much of this character type in American novels, but I think that they could really use some! The Hidden Genius is usually found in fantasy-oriented stories, where they have an extraordinary ability, but hide it for private reasons. This could be because it's dangerous, they lack control over it, it's peculiar, it requires specific settings, they're unaware of their ability, or that they simply don't want anyone realizing the power they have!

>>> The Changed One - This is a protagonist who's actively trying to change themselves from who they previously were! They're trying to escape their previous life and connections because they realize that what they were doing was, well, wrong. (Example: a thief abandoning his job to simply become a normal citizen, or a socially awkward student trying to overcome their anxiousness.) Still, their history does have an impact on them and affects them as a person! Honestly, it doesn't have to be a major change either, the point is that a character is just trying to alter themselves for the better!

>>> The Second Best - This character is incredibly impressive at something--very well above average--but there's another character who's simply better and tops them. The second character is normally some kind of rival for the protagonist to overcome. The two's relationship is typically rather complex, as it's often composed of learning, growth, competitiveness, and acceptance! This character is usually found in a school setting, revolving around academics or sports, but it's definitely not limited to that!

>>> The Almost Perfect Character - When introduced, this protagonist is seemingly perfect in all aspects of their life (at least in the eyes of others). However, as the story continues, little flaws are revealed and the readers are now aware of the underlying depth of this protagonist's life. Throughout the character's journey, they overcome their doubts, accept themselves for who they are, and learn to appreciate their imperfections!

>>> The Not-So-Gifted One - This character is pretty much summed up by the name: they're not very talented and lacking in several different, important skills. They are below average compared to other people their age, and struggle to meet expectations. Their story is typically about self-improvement, change, and acceptance!

Whew! That's ten different types of protagonists that can definitely be used in your works! I hope that these serve as inspiration and some kind of guide to those struggling to come up with an original main character! Thank you so much for those who bothered to read this unnecessarily long post, and happy holidays!

Happy writing~

3hks <3

#writing #writeblr #writerscommunity #writing tips #writing advice #writing inspo #creative writing #protagonists #types of protagonists #types of main characters

150 notes · View notes

babeeangel · 11 months

Text

A Toxic Side of your RelationShip pt 2

pt2 of this, with the characters that got asked <3 A third and final part will come, so again if you wanna see someone specific, comment !

angsty short texts (fluff?) (<100w\character). [pt1 included: isagi, rin, sae, shidou, bachira, reo, otoya, kaiser, kunigami] [pt3 includes: aiku, niko, hiori, chigiri, kurona]

Don Lorenzo, Seichiro Nagi, Shoei Barou, Kenyu Yukimiya, Tabito Karasu, Alexis Ness

Lorenzo can be a calculator. As in, sometimes he’ll do things on purpose because he foresees your reactions. He’ll help you out, so you are indebted to him, and then he can ask a favor in return. He doesn't need to do that, because you’d straight up say yes. But he calculates actions to ‘control’ your mood and reactions, to his advantage.

Nagi

has a tendency to be dishonest. He hates the hassle of confrontation, so he sweeps under the rug everything that could upset you. Sometimes it’s straight up lies, sometimes it’s misleading omissions. He selfishly only cares about his feelings and how it bothers him to get into fights. Therefore you usually find things out of your own. (and if you bring it up, he’ll act clueless and like you're overreacting).

Barou lacks empathy. He doesn't often think of putting himself in others’ shoes. Like, he doesn’t get that you get anxious, that you don’t like speaking to new people, or that you find roller coasters scary. “Just don’t overthink it, it won’t kill you”. He says it with such confidence, almost arrogance, like it’s so easy. It might be for him, so he assumes everyone should feel the same. In that way, he can be tactless.

Yukimiya is a fair weather friend, or boyfriend, you know. It’s like he’s only really present when it’s easy to be. Maybe he’s afraid of that feeling of obligation to be there for you, maybe he has a lot on his plate already, but the truth is, when things get tougher, he vanishes… It feels lonely, when you need a shoulder to rely on, to see that he’s missing.

Karasu gets competitive. With you, for no apparent reason. You don't understand why he feels the need to compare everything you guys do, and make it a contest with a winner and a loser. It adds so much pressure to everything, and simply, it’s not fun. In a way, it feels like he makes things about himself.

Ness double guesses everything you say. He’s so insecure with himself that he makes you repeat things countless amounts of times. But do you really love me ? It can be quite tiring to always have to prove yourself to someone who won’t even listen.

412 notes · View notes

serpentandthreads · 6 months

Text

[Pick-A-Card] Are you a soldier, poet, or king?

[From left to right, pick one of three photos of roses + mirrors. Images found on pintrest.]

I've found several versions of this song, and all have been appealing to me. I figured, why not make a short and fun pick a card reading based on it? If y'all haven't listened to the song, feel free to go ahead and listen to it before picking an image.

[Pile One] The Poet

Uplifting Aspects: The Sun, Page of Cups, Seven of Swords (rv)

Young at heart and a soul much older, pile one are the poets. You are creative and have a unique charm to your personality. That charm comes in the form of optimism and having fun no matter what it is you do. This may draw attention to you, but take it as a compliment: you shine like the sun.

Some may think of you as naive and childish, but you are very self-aware. You know what you like and what brings you comfort. You are a dreamer. There are a dozen ideas for what path you want to walk in life, and it is so hard to choose just one so you try to live them all in some way. You often do this through your art.

Challenging Aspects: Strength (rv), Ace of Cups (rv), The Tower (rv)

Dear pile one, your joy and optimistic outlook on life may not come without some internal struggle. Your battles happen in your head with yourself. Poets seek to find the beauty in life and often will also find tragedy in it. This causes some fear and anxiety in you, but don't allow yourself to be paralyzed. You must learn not to be discouraged by this.

Self-doubt, imposter syndrome. You question yourself. Your abilities. The truth. Despite the reassurance you get from others, you still get that lingering "what if" in the back of your mind. Again, you can not allow yourself to be discouraged by this. You must move forward.

[Pile Two] The King

Uplifting Aspects: Ten of Wands, The Star, Five of Wands

Ambitious and honorable, pile two are the kings. You have a respectable sense of responsibility and will stop at nothing to achieve your goals. As a king personality, you tend to find yourself in the spotlight, but that is natural for you. You are a strong and intense presence. This can be intimidating yet admirable to others.

Competition and growth are what encourage you to keep moving forward. Even during times when you feel exhausted and ready to give up, there will always be a spark there to light you up again. Many admire you for your perseverance, and some envy you for it.

Challenging Aspects: Seven of Cups, Ace of Swords (rv), Seven of Wands

Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. Your sense of duty can be both a blessing and a curse. You may frequently find yourself in situations where people look to you for answers. Sometimes, you may have them. There are also times when the options seem endless, and there are no true solutions to the problem at hand. Yet others expect you to make the hard choices.

Your neverending desire to achieve your goals may also come with a cost. You may sometimes find that others perceive you as cold and rigid, lacking in empathy. This may have cost you relationships of all kinds. Your competitive nature may have caused you trouble. Competition can bring out the best and worst in people.

[Pile Three] The Soldier

Uplifting Aspects: The Moon, Five of Cups (rv), Four of Swords

With an unbreakable spirit and the bravery to match, pile three are the soldiers. Many think of you as mysterious or closed off, but you're just mindful of where you use your energy. You're calculated and observant. All of this may result in you having very few relationships— it's not that you don't want meaningful relationships, you just see people for what they are.

Y'all are more likely to make peace with your past than poets and kings. Your sense of awareness is rather unique because, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, you are more concerned about the present. You can't change the past, and you can never be too sure about the future, but you do have control over how you approach life now. In the moment.

Challenging Aspects: Knight of Wands, Ace of Wands, Queen of Pentacles

Your fighting spirit may come with a hot temper and impulsiveness. You may be quick to judge, or you may simply judge harshly. Best mind your words, pile three. They cut just as sharp as a sword.

Y'all may also find that you have difficulty expressing yourselves. Yes, you have opinions about others and are morally conscious about right and wrong. How do you feel, though? Can you name your emotions? You spend so much time perceiving others and predicting what others are going to do next that you may become disconnected with yourself. Ground yourselves, pile three.

Deck Used: Tarot of the Divine

Enjoy the reading? You can leave a tip here.

#pick a card #pick a card reading #divination #tarot #tarot reading #tarot reader #serpentandthreads #tarotblr

177 notes · View notes

dancefloors · 5 months

Note

Hard agree Taylor's interview was weird. There's almost no substance to any of her answers.

for real. I'll try to be brief or at least make this the last one (because I know I am being annoying about this but really I just find her a very fascinating case study), but for a songwriter who is often introspective and eloquent, it all seemed like a very shallow look at her life and career. a hodge-podge of buzzwords and dated pop culture references. I do wonder if that's just the nature of this being a sort of 'PR smooth over' for the unfamiliar audience, setting the record straight on a few accounts, and sort of rewriting the narrative of rep/her last relationship.

but it also was very intriguing how the image she paints of herself, and one she seems to internalise is that of her as a successful 'underdog', a perpetual victim in an uphill battle. I'm sure she's faced adversity in her career, but it's notable to me that the way she frames it ("female rage" at her image destruction, "freedom from patriarchal structures through the flow of economy") is in a way that sort of silently demands an obligation to celebrity and wealth. she points to her "cancellation" as gaslighting from a "social structure" but what structure is that? who is the perpetrator when the dip in your fame can be largely attributed to a PR fumble and public dissent at blatant money-driven strategic friendships (which she personally admitted), relatability marketing, and recognition that they are being sold an image? her song The Man/interviews regarding it detail how structural barriers that bother her the most are the ones preventing her from flaunting her money, chasing fame and fortune openly, being praised for the strategy and calculation behind her capitalist endeavours, from using people and discarding them when done (à la Leo in San Tropez or her partners being "playthings for [her] to use"). is it a structural issue when you leave your record label of your own accord and those very same business strategies and ploys are used against you? are fame and art to be free of criticism? is it victimhood when people point out the parasocial and expositional practises that gave you your fame, which you intentionally intertwined with your image?

I won't brush aside the misogyny that came with it. I believe women have the right to feel safe, supported, their sexual exploits not held against them, their career progression not halted purely because of their gender, that artists have ownership over their work.

but do I think they are owed fortune, that a couple months being reclusive in million dollar mansions and jet-setting around the world equate to 'cancellation', that people becoming aware of hollywood PR ploys is misogyny, that public favour is owed and losing it is the highest punishment (especially when they actively wield their team to push puff pieces to bury their own and their associate's/partners' bigotry), that speculation about a public figure's personal life is the greatest crime, that their own role in their career deserves to be seen simultaneously as that of an innocent subject of magical coincidence AND a mastermind strategist (but never the dagger of "calculated"), that their cries and causes should be heralded and never doubted or viewed with a critical eye even though the activist outfit is only ever put on for themselves, that they should be viewed as a brand when they want to shirk responsibility and an individual when they demand sympathy, that fame is owed, that any common person should think about all of this - consider their 'full story' and believe the image they want to sell of themselves? that we should be actively celebrating their excessiveness (it's for our own good!)?

no. maybe because i lack empathy for the rich and famous, but it all seems very out of touch. it's never been more blatantly about consumer feminism, bread and circuses, a prayer to her own idolatry, even further out of reach at the moment.

her fixation on the past, her own endlessly self-referential world, speaking about "defeating enemies"..... its just fascinating. and confirms to me that her main gripe has always been with the contradictory nature of her own fame. why can't she have it all? i don't say this in a bitter way, i think she's just an interesting case study, especially watching her career come up from the beginning. you only enjoy the circus when they are cheering for you. and she seems to have leaned into that more recently. i don't know what has gone on in her personal life (seemingly many references to a "life she gave away"), but it seems to have driven her closer to that, aware that at least in THIS world (that of fame, fortune, etc) she is somewhat an insurmountable titan not even stoppable by "a force majeure", whatever she may claim. maybe she can't control her personal life, but she can control this to a degree, and if not, the things that stand in her way can be / must be regarded the most unjust of nondescript "social structures".

again.. no hatred, just fascination. her image, success, and fan relationships hinged on relatability for so many years. this feels like a departure from that. an acceptance that she is extraordinary and that even her struggles are out of reach for the common man. she's operating in a different echelon, she's the centre of her world (why wouldn't she be), and she is free from the shackles of self reflection on her place in the broader world... I guess she's too soft for it all. I don't know... an interesting change. I'm sure someone smarter than me has something more interesting and eloquent to say.

87 notes · View notes

dittolicous · 1 month

Text

actually more on my raging stealth black!sanji idea

the whole thing isnt kick-started by judge but instead queen, now in the custody of the marines, as he constantly curses the vinsmoke name. interest is piqued during some interrogation when he curses sanji's timely mutation and when pressed for more he angrily rants about judges 'failed' work on his children, how theyre basically living weapons, and that the cook of the strawhats is no exception if their battle was anything to go by, why he even goes so far as asking the pirate hunter to kill him if he went 'mad'!

perhaps word gets back to the gorosei or akainu, getting them thinking... despite their efforts strawhat luffy is becoming more of a danger with each passing day but maybe they were going at it all wrong...

what if they could get the strawhats to do themselves in? strawhat is willing to destroy the world if it meant saving his nakama - but is he strong enough to save them from themselves? to cut the arm off to save the body?

it doesnt take much to get vinsmoke judge on board, just the promise of give him all the tools he needs to 'retrieve his goods', going so far as to even give him access to vegapunks work and 'convinced' queen to aid him. their only stipulation is that he is to then use this weapon of his destroy the strawhats, no matter what it takes

so it goes like this - with the resources of the world government, a plan is put in motion. a random island that just happens to sit in the strawhats path is attacked by bloodthirsty bandits, ravenging it... perhaos the starving islanders won their empathy, perhaps it was just the whims of monkey d. luffy.

a battle breaks out though its hardly anything to write home about for an emperor's crew

if only they had known about the cp0 agents hidden amongst the riftraft, armed with weaponry specifically made to take down germa66 super soilders. all it takes is a single, well timed strike to the heart to bag their target

(in that sense, his death isnt faked at all. no, its quite real. they figured a little brain death was negligible, if not outright helpful, considering they were planning to wipe the cooks memories anyhow)

the body falls into the sea, where it is quickly whisked away by hidden agents before the first son of the sea can fish blackleg out.

as far as the strawhats can tell, the sea claimed his body into her embrace - it would be... a fitting death, in better circumstances... they search the surrounding ocean for three entire weeks before giving up, if you can even call it that. luffy refuses to accept his death, clinging desperately to the lack of a body. the rest are torn, unsure what to believe. but as their food supplies start to dwindle, theyre forced into moving forward to the next island.

(it takes even longer to contact the baratie)

time marches on, unconcerned for the despair flooding the thousand sunny

elsewhere, a prince is quietly reborn, reshaped in anothers image. he looks upon to world with blank, calculating eyes. unbeknownst to judge, when the words of his family cannot measure up to the reality before sanji, he puts his skills to the test to take what he needs from the victims of germa66's sieges

before long, the time of reckoning is upon them. stealth black is believed a success, the next step of the plan is put into motion... they need to send a message to get the strawhat pirates attention, so where better than their very first claimed territory?

fishman island doesnt even know what hit it as the sucken land crumbles, yet they let the royalty live... just so they can pass on a tiny tonedial with a message to strawhat luffy

an all too familar voice greets them

"hello captain"

#one piece #vinsmoke sanji #blackleg sanji #stealth black #sanji #germa 66 #burning rage au

40 notes · View notes

docochocart · 6 months

Text

DOCORONPA CAST

(15/16)

ULTIMATE ICE SKATER

Ice Skater was destined for greatness, or at least she was raised to believe such. Born into a wealthy household in a snowy North Eastern town, Ice Skater was brought up with expectations and a legacy to uphold.

Growing up, Ice Skater's social life took a backseat to her athletic endeavors. With both of her parent's being decorated olympians, they raised their daughter with only one goal, surpassing themselves.

Her lack of social conditioning became apparent during her middle school years, as her empathy for her classmates and peers was severely lacking. Ice Skater believed herself to be above nearly all of those around her, and often she was correct.

Cold, quiet and calculated, Ice Skater was willing to sacrifice anything for the gold. No matter how small the competition, Ice Skater was determined to take first.

She gained a cut throat reputation amongst fellow skaters, as well as sponsors. This reputation would be what caught the attention of Hope's Peak University.

Wasting no time, Ice Skater accepted her invitation to audition with pride. Determined to use this opportunity to grow her star even further, nobody will stop her from getting accepted into the Academy.

Are you ready?

#danganronpa #dangan ronpa #oc #dangansona #fangan ronpa #fanganronpa #docoronpa #docoronpa r #my art

76 notes · View notes

ominoose · 6 months

Text

𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐧 𝐀𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬

Pairing: Leto Areides x Afab!Reader Prompt: Power Imbalance & Alien Summary: You wake up in an alien ship, being experimented on. Their leader offers "sympathy" and a deal. Warnings: Smut, extremely dubious consent WC: 1.7K

Kinktober Masterlist

Cold metal was the first thing you were conscious of when you groggily came to life, blinking wildly at the blinding white light above you. Basic instinct made you attempt to bring your arm up as a shield, but when nothing happens, panic blossoms in your chest.

Finally taking stock of your surroundings, it immediately registers that you are nowhere familiar. In your gut, something screams danger. In the back of your mind, processes grind to a halt. The room is like no architecture you have seen before, all curves, odd shades of beige and shapes that don't make sense.

Looking down you're completely bare, laid flat on a glowing slab. There are no bindings and yet trying to move feels like trying to tug a limb out of cement. The sudden sob that manages to escape you lets you know your mouth at the very least is still in your control, but the only answer to your cries for help are not ones you want.

The wall across from you slides open on its own, and a group clad in white uniforms enter with vacant, almost bored expressions. The aesthetic is once again foreign to you, some of them with strange markings tattooed into their face, but they look human. Your gut warns that they are not.

Whatever they are, they lack in the basic empathy and compassion you would associate with the average human. Without hesitation they're upon you, prodding you with metal instruments, shining lights across your limbs. A searing laser carves a small line across your chest and with trained hands someone takes swatches from the blood pooling around the hollows of your ribs.

Not once did they bat an eye at your tear stained cheeks, your screams. You couldn't even thrash away from them, completely helpless to whatever their whims.

You don't notice the door opening through your panic, only realising someone had entered when the group of scientists turn and bow.

The man immediately strikes you as regal, commanding the attention of all those in the room. His uniform is militaristic, with gold trimmings and braided cords laid against his shoulder. A well groomed, peppered beard shadows the lower part of his face but doesn't hide the lips set in a stern line.

"Please, please, make this stop, I'm begging you, make them stop." Your begging is barely coherent, still struggling to catch your breath, your lungs being the only part of you still functioning as normal under the circumstances.

Shocked expressions litter the faces of everyone around you, giving rise to a feeling of immediate regret and fear within you. Clearly you weren't expected to have spoken, but given your situation you weren't going to waste a chance.

Only a single, thick eyebrow raises at your outburst, the man's eyes raking over your coldly before he steps forward with calculated steps.

When he reaches you he regards you seriously, raising a hand to brush away a stray tear with a curled finger.

"I apologise for my people's lack of hospitality, this must be very stressful for you."

You nod fervently, hope flooding through you when he shares understanding, a realistic outlook on such a situation.

"You're dismissed." His eyes never leave yours as his voice booms across the room. The reaction amongst the group is immediate, all of them dropping what they're doing and leaving through the door in a barely orderly manner.

Only your sniffling breaks the silence as he quietly rounds you, assessing you, eyes softening ever so slightly. His silence isn't what you wanted, and in desperation you venture further.

"P-Please let me go. I don't know what's going on but I won't tell the police. Please, I just want to go home."

Your words seem to confuse him for a moment before recognition sparks in his eyes and an amused smile plays at his lips.

"Oh, my dear, you're not on your planet anymore. You're aboard my ship. My name is Leto Atreides, I believe your people would class me as an alien."

Part of your brain clings to what your reality was, clings to the fact that aliens and abductions are science fiction. With white knuckles your mind desperately begs to be told the real truth, to turn and see a window that reveals a normal street. Another part of your brain seems to have already known this wasn't the case.

"I don't think now is the appropriate time for a history lesson. All you need to know is you were brought here a few months ago, in deep sleep, to be studied. Again, I apologise at how stressful this must be, I had hoped my scientists would have extended the hospitality House Atreides is known for but alas, I assumed wrong."

The more he attempts to clarify the situation, the more your mind is caught between shutting or breaking down. To you, only a few hours before had you went to sleep on a rainy October night, and yet in a defenseless state you'd been carted across galaxies without a clue. Never had you felt so small, and so desperate.

"H-How long will you keep me here? What are you going to do to me?"

As fresh tears stream down your face he frowns, brushing them away with his thumb.

"I'm truly sorry, but I cannot let you go so easily. I have many councils waiting on this research, as well as other Houses funding it. To simply let you leave would be not only dangerous for myself and my people, but for you."

He leans closer, eyebrows knitting together as he strokes your cheek. Through quiet sobs you lean into his hand as much as you can, relishing the small comfort.

"I cannot let you leave. However…"

Again, a spark of hope is ignited at his prodding, stoking you, stringing you along.

"I do pride myself on giving others choice and chance. What say we make a deal? Since you are giving your body to important research for my House, in return, I will give you my time and boons. It might not sound like much, but as Duke Atreides, I will hear you and in time will do my best to carve out a route for your freedom."

The husky voice lulls you into a sense of security, making sense to your trauma ridden brain. It continues to stoke the fires of hope within you. Powerless and naked in front of him, completely paralyzed, it's the only chance you have, dangled in front of you like a carrot.

"What do I need to do?"

It seemed like precisely the words he wanted to hear. With a satisfied smile he steps closer, his hand lazily stroking up and down the skin of your thigh.

"We should cement some trust for each other, primarily your own. You're completely alone here, worlds away from home. Allow yourself to trust me, let me be an ally."

The calloused hand strayed upwards, stilling over your abdomen. A warmth emanated over your skin, a sharp contrast to the cold prickling over the rest of your body, grounding you. Further you lowered your guard, allowing yourself to trust him.

When the hand strayed lower again, between your legs, you gasped. Unable to move, you had no way to jerk away from the rough finger that traced along the soft lips of your pussy. Instead, you could only stare as he looked down at you with an indescribable expression, drinking in every inch of you.

As soon as his finger prodded against your hooded bundle of nerves and your breath hitched, his eyes flew to your face. You recognised his steely expression now. He was observing you, just as those scientists had.

You had little time to focus on the thought, the flame of hope only flickering out a little before he traced circles over your clit with his thumb. At the same time two fingers slowly entered you, curled and setting a steady pace.

It surprised you to find yourself already wet, but you paid it no mind. With your eyes fluttering closed, still clinging onto the promises he made, you allow yourself to get lost in the familiar feeling building in your core. The heat was slow to spread over you, and without the ability to move you were forced to focus only on the growing pleasure.

Silently he slid a third finger in, increasing the pace more as his curled fingers hit the sweet spot deep within your walls. When your head jerked back ever so slightly as you whined and moaned, he was there to take it in, going harder, wet noises filling the air.

"That's it darling, give yourself to me. You can trust me." His voice reverberated within you, low and rumbling.

Your defences were completely down now, walls clenching around his finger. Words wouldn't form in your throat and you were left a panting mess, straining to move yourself closer to him but frustratingly unable.

You were so close, and on his order you came apart.

"Cum for me."

His voice was a seething whisper and had such power over you, you wondered if you'd been injected with something. Your pussy became like a vice around his fingers as he let you ride out the orgasm, legs nearly cramping with the strain you tensed with.

Wetness dribbled down the curves of your ass as he slowly pulled his fingers out. Staring curiously at the slick coating his fingers, Leto seemed struck by an impulsive thought. Bringing his fingers to his lips he sucked your wetness from his fingers, a tiny strand getting caught in the hair of his beard.

"Hm. You taste exactly like the women from Caladan." The musing seemed more for him than for you. Leto barely regarded you now, offering only a small smile and a pat on the leg before turning towards the door.

"I'll visit you again soon, my dear. Behave until then, and we'll see if I can't squeeze in some allowances for you."

Without a single glance back at you he left, leaving you alone in the alien room, wet slick drying between your legs.

#leto atreides x reader #leto atreides #oscar isaac #omiwrites

144 notes · View notes

turtledovenycx · 6 months

Note

Heyy I Hope youre doing well can I request reader being on her period and having cramps so she’s really irritable. When Hyunjin comes home and says he has stomachache she thinks he’s just teasing her and doesn’t believe him but then she realizes he’s actually sick and takes care of him 🤞🏽💙

note: Hey lovely, I hope you did not wait long. Sorry I'm late but I wanted this to be perfect I think I went a lil overboard lol. I wrote and rewrote it a lot but then I decided this is the best <33333 I hope this lives up to your expectations and it is what you pictured. Stay happy <3

waiting to hear from you again with your thoughts on this 💙

_nyx.☽༊˚

Any soft song of your choice

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐒𝐅𝐖

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐇𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐧

𝐭𝐚𝐠: 𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐖.𝐂 𝟐.𝟏𝐤

𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐠𝐲𝐧𝐲 (𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐲 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐧), 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐮𝐤𝐞/𝐯𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐭 (𝐧𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐬.)

ɴᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ

Fucking cramps ugh. Waking up to more cramping pain in your lower abdomen was the starting sign of your day’s downfall. The lack of iron in your body made your head spin and feel heavy it was like a never leaving hangover. The second day of your period was always the worst, with pain in your stomach combined with soreness throughout your body and sometimes your lower back also hurt it just felt so bad. You cursed at the higher powers for inheriting your mother's horrible PMS and dysmenorrhea rather than her good looks.

Begrudgingly you did your morning routine sticking to the most basic skincare. You could not focus properly so you decided to take a leave of absence from your work. That call, however, did not go well your mood turned sour because honestly what the fuck!

Your asshole of a manager lacked empathy and a female reproductive system so along with your morning coffee you heard an earful of how women were using periods as an excuse in the workplace. You really needed this job so you had no choice but to hear his nasty word and bite your tongue praying your mouth does not run. Colorful words were spoken in whispers so that you don't fully regret not saying anything. The dick granted you leave but it would cost a small cut from your salary.

“Sir, but..”

“No buts. You can either come to work or produce a health certificate for paid leave. It's company policy.”

Motherfucker. Fucking ass, dick! cun-

“I’ll bring the health certificate on Monday thanks for your time,” you say ending the call after hearing his grunt and flipping off the blank screen. You hoped a pigeon would shit on him and his over-gelled hair. Dickhead. Now you had to figure out how to get a medical certificate for periods.

Fuck this.

The day carried on, the meds did not help you one bit. Hyunjin was the one who usually restocked your supplies since you worked night shifts a lot, but this time however he had brought the painkillers with a lower dosage. You resorted to eating three or four pills before calculating that to reach at least 200 mg you would have to eat twenty pills!

“This is crazy. Aaah!’” you screamed into your empty apartment.

These breakdowns left you irritable and cranky, the smallest inconvenience making you angry. You tried to control it but since there was no way to release the tension it kept growing and growing and growing until you would blow up on the next person you saw sadly it was your sweet and sometimes dumb boyfriend.

Hyunjin had let himself into your apartment to find you hunched over the kitchen island, the smell of soup prominent in the flat as it boiled on the stove. He knew you were on your period so he kept his footsteps as light as possible not wanting to disturb you, Poor baby startled you instead.

“Jesus fuck Hyunjin. Makes some noise would you,” you yelled when he had placed his hands on your shoulder.

He flinched, “Sorry baby. Are you okay?” he asked arms reaching to hug you. You were sweaty so you declined the hug not knowing he needed it more. In the haze of your irritation, you had failed to notice that his face was paler than usual. Hyunjin had left work feeling nauseous. He had a stomach bug, nothing serious but his leader recommended he take rest.

“No, I’m not okay Hyunjin, I’ve been in pain since the morning and I don't have the right medicines and Nothing is helping me. My boss is an asshole-”

“Your medicines are not right?” he asked confused.

“No, they are not they barely do anything you brought the small dose ones. If you are not sure what to get just leave it I’ll buy it.”

“I’m sorry,” he says palm resting on your shoulder as he leans into you.

“My tummy hurts,” you whine, crouching over but you sounded so adorable Hyunjin could not help but laugh. “My tummy hurts,” he said whining too, little did you know he meant it. Misunderstanding the situation you got mad thinking Hyunjin was mocking you like the dramatic ass he was. “It’s not funny Hyunjin. Try bleeding for seven days every month and working a full-time job,” you say turning off the stove and not bothering to eat. “Baby no I have a stomach bu-” You stormed out of the kitchen leaving behind a confused Hyunjin. He did not mean to make fun of you. His stomach felt weird but you paid no heed to the man as you slammed the bedroom shut. “Shit-” he sighed into the empty kitchen. Slamming doors in your home meant one thing, ‘I don't wanna talk!’ he decided it was best to leave you alone.

Tears spring to your eyes, and feeling dejected and exhausted you cry. You were not sobbing but they were tears of frustration. Guilt seeped in you felt bad for lashing out at Hyunjin but as you heard the sound of utensils through the door you figured he was helping himself with food. Unreasonably this pissed you off more so you decided to sleep it off instead. Your fatigue caught up to you the sleep overpowering your pain as you slipped into slumber tear stained cheek and all.

Contrary to your thoughts Hyunjin did not eat he was simply putting the soup away and cleaning the kitchen. He understood why you reacted the way you did so being the sweetheart he is he warmed up your hot bag and opened the door a little to peak. Seeing you curled up into a ball on your side broke his heart. He softly entered the room and checked if you were fast asleep. It appeared that you were out like a light so Hyunjin adjusted your body to lay in such a way that the heat pad was resting securely on your abdomen. Then he covered you with the duvet and fidgeted with the AC temp he knew you liked it to be cold so that you could wrap yourself in something warm. The furrows in your brow were slowly replaced with a look of peace. He rubbed your leg for a few moments before wrapping you in the warm blanket and giving you your favorite Jiniret to hug. Once he ensured you were comfortable the tired man slipped out and went to the couch to get some rest. His bowels were in discomfort and he still wanted to throw up, he resorted to gulping down glasses of water and going to sleep.

You woke to the sound of retching from your bathroom, the cramps had subsided the 60 mg finally working in your body. It tugged on your heart when you noticed the temperature in the room, the blanket, the heating water bag, and your Jiniret. You felt like an even bigger asshole than your boss, at least that dick treated someone he did not know personally like shit while you treated the love of your life like garbage. Hyunjin hurled his stomach into the toilet and it clicked inside your head that he was sick. Groaning at your ignorance and rubbing your face you got up from your cozy cocoon and opened the bedroom door. He was still locked in the bathroom but you noticed the spare blanket on the couch. Poor Hyunnie must have been awful sleeping on the couch especially when his long legs won't fit in unless he is curled up. You notice the little green puke basket nearby. Shit, you messed up.

The bathroom door revealed a tired Hyunjin who had just washed his face, he stopped in his tracks as he saw you standing in the hallway. You turned around to see your boy sick.

“I’m sorry baby.” you cried as you ran to hug him, you tried to be as gentle as you could not wanting to disturb his body, but Hyunjin did not speak for a few seconds. Thinking he was angry at you you tried to give him space but his long arms brought you back into the embrace. You breathed a sigh of relief, a million apologies leaving you.

“I’m so sorry, I was such an ass,” you repeat fingers moving his hair out of his face before placing sweet kisses on his wet skin.

Hyunjin just hummed, he was leaning his whole weight on you now.

“Did you eat?” you ask, your boyfriend shakes his head before hiding on your neck. “Oh sweetie,” you say as you bring him into the bedroom. The air is cool so immediately Hyunjin finds himself wrapped in a fluffy blanket. He held your hands eyes worried as you began to retreat.

“I’m just gonna grab you some food,” you reassured after making sure he was lying down on a raised pillow.

The soup had become cold, but you reheated it. You searched through the cabinets for tea sachets as ginger tea is good for upset stomachs. After preparing the food you put them all in a tray and grabbed a pack of Advil just in case he became feverish and went to your room.

Hyunjin was having cramps too so he did not sleep, he was sitting cross-legged and crouching over trying to make himself into a small ball.

“Baby, eat this will help,” you say putting the tray on the nightstand before grabbing the bowl.

“I’ll throw up, I don’t want to eat,” he says turning away.

“If you throw up I will clean it but if you don’t eat you might get gas and it will hurt more.” you explained, “Please just try eating half the bowl.” your hands held the food in front of him.

After a few moments of consideration, he opened his mouth welcoming the spoonful of hot clear soup, even though he said he didn’t want to eat Hyunjin must have been famished because he ate the whole thing in a short time, taking control of the spoon with his hand.

You watched him carefully leaving to help yourself to some soup too, the two of you sat in your bed eating without saying much.

“You don’t have a fever so it’s not stomach flu,” you say checking his temperature and helping him back into the covers. He had a quick shower and brushed his teeth.

“It's probably because of the street food you had yesterday.”

“Hey! You had it too.”

“Yes, but I only had one serving whereas you had almost three.”

“I was craving it,” he said lips all pouty as you smiled for the first time in that day at his cute antics.

Seeing your smile, Hyunjin’s face brightened up too. He was feeling better no longer nauseous now he waited for his stomach to settle.

“I’ll let you sleep,” you say clearing the bedside table and beginning to exit the room before you feel a tug on your arm.

“You will come back to bed right?” your boyfriend asked whispering, his brown eyes almost sparkling, face red, and bottom lip jutting out. Any other human form making that face was an instant cringe for you except him. You nodded as he reluctantly let you go.

When you slipped back into bed after chores you were certain Hyunjin was asleep. But warm hands wrapped around your figure from behind his head resting between your shoulder blades, you turned around to hug the lean man spooning him as he tucked himself on your chest.

“Hyunnie, are you asleep?” you whispered Hyunjin stirring at the use of his name,

“No,” he whispered back before looking up at you. You felt guilty again as you stared into his eyes in the dim glow of the nightlight.

“I’m sorry baby. I will try to control my emotions during my periods. I had a rough day okay. I’m so sorry.” you said fingers brushing his hair back as he closed his eyes.

“It’s okay, I’m not mad at you,” he says eyes drooping as they get tired. “What happened?” he still asked despite almost falling asleep.

“I’ll explain tomorrow.”

“I love you babe,” he says kissing your collarbone,

“I-. I love you so much,” you say placing a long kiss on his forehead and turning to switch off the night lamp. When you turned around Hyunjin was snoring lightly hands holding you tight to him as he slept on your chest. You knew you were going to properly apologies to him once you guys were feeling better tomorrow but knowing that this boy loved you even when you messed up was such a warm feeling. Sleep called you once again as the two of you lay limbs tangled under his favorite fuzzy blanket.

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝

tagging 🏷️: @comet-falls @noellllslut

Let me know if you want to be tagged I might start a tag list if a lot of you guys want it. For now it is just my two lovelies I have on here <3

#skz x reader #kpop fanfic #stray kids #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin fluff #nyx writings.☽༊˚#anon request #kpop #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin soft hours #hyunjin thoughts #Soft skz #Hyunjin soft thoughts #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fluff #skz #stray kids imagines

113 notes · View notes

saintescuderia · 2 months

Text

The Growing Cracks of Formula 1

Even Lightning McQueen could show compassion

Well.

We all know what’s going on here. All the news sources are around it, trying as they may to talk about the thing they’re legally not allowed to directly address even though you best believe everyone has already seen the screenshots. I mean, a quick Google search that included, of course, the key word of reddit and I could find it.

And, oh, the rumours. There’s so many rumours flying back and forth. This person was told this. That person said that. They’re leaving. They’re leaving if they is leaving. It’s endless. Yet, we’ve all seemed to miss the key point.

I’ve already written about the cult side of F1 and how insular the world of ‘pinnacle motorsport’ truly is. Those thoughts are not the singular musings of one outlier fan. It seems the main response everyone is having is now can we finally address this?

Someone came forward with allegations and what has followed has been the most unprofessional storm of utter horse shit that is embarrassing, painful and disappointing. Though, perhaps, this is just to show how one wave could rock a boat so bad. Maybe F1 already had its cracks?

It was unfortunate that it took what it took, but at least now there can finally be conversations to the unjust nature of F1 , how cutthroat it is — and not in the sense of pressure on drivers and the team, but that there is a lack of fucking human compassion.

We’re not machines. Perhaps some people have been working alongside them for so long that they forget the difference between us and a car. Cars are the perfectly fine tuned pieces of machinery, calculated to the most singular finite measurement.

We are far more incomplete than that.

Any issues that arise with a car can be a ‘simple’ fix. Usually, we can find a reason for the problem and, therefore, the solution to it. Humans aren’t problems to be fixed, solved or removed. There is pain. There is empathy. There is genuine compassion.

I’ve used that word twice now because I think it hits home. That is what has been missing through this whole ordeal. This is not a business transaction or legal issue. First and foremost is the humanity is what’s happening in front of us and what message that is sending out.

So instead of dismissing a victim to generate news buzz about rumours or using the evidence to make memes, can we all just take moment to remember we’re all human beings.

Have some decency, please.

32 notes · View notes

aloeverified · 9 months

Text

death note — neurodivergent headcanons:

lawliet: autism (asd)

when he was little, he refused to wear socks because he hated the way they seams felt on his feet. eventually watari gave up on trying to make him wear them and just had him wear shoes that didn't require them — that was until lawliet realized the benefit to not wearing shoes and just started going barefoot.

along with that, he used to never wear jeans as a child because they were too tight and uncomfortable. the same thing goes for long sleeves. this meant he typically wore sweatpants and loose tanktops until he realized he can simply start wearing oversized clothing.

sweets are his safe foods. he typically goes for small candies like m&ms when he's feeling more picky, but he generally enjoys anything ranging from cake to pastries. he also really likes milkshakes and the occasional smoothie.

since he can't read tones, he doesn't always take people's sarcasm as a joke if he's unfamiliar with them. however, that doesn't stop him from having a very sarcastic and dry sense of humor himself. unfortunately, most people don't realize he's also joking due to his monotone voice and lack of facial expressions.

lawliet struggles with empathy. he often finds it hard to sympathize with people who he feels are making a bad decisions. he values logic over emotional reasoning and gets annoyed when people don't see things the same way as him. he’s willing to make extreme decisions and take an ends-justify-the-means approach. he also doesn't see the appeal in formalities and views them as a waste of time. this can lead to him being very brunt and straight to the point, not bothering to mince his words. it often comes across as rude, especially if it's to someone he sees as being less than him.

light: obsessive compulsive disorder (ocd)

he always has to have things a very specific way. not exactly tidy — although he hates messes and being unorganized — but simply "his way." otherwise, he constantly feels off and uncomfortable.

he prefers to work alone because of this. group projects were always a nightmare for him. not only did he want his work area to be organized a specific way, but any essay or project he worked on also had to follow a specific order. along with that, he has to began his work in calculated steps or he'd grow too irritated and frustrated.

his mother quickly learned when he was younger that none of his food could touch or he wouldn't eat dinner. that, and he had to eat each section in order or he didn't feel full.

he'd end up conveniencing himself that if he didn't fill out all the questions on a test in the correct order then he'd end up failing, as well as other thing such as, "if i don't turn off the stove in this specific way, the house is gonna burn down." these thoughts never came across or irrational to him. even when he didn't always fully believe them, he still had a voice in the back of his head telling him he was wrong. therefore, he always went along with his specific order.

he'd spiral with his thoughts a lot. if he shook someone's hand after meeting them, he'd tune out their introduction and think about what their hand has touched, when the last time they washed their hand was, when he'd be able to wash his hand. it go to the point where he'd eventually just stop touching people in general, and grew annoyed when they touched him.

matt: attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (adhd)

despite ranking at number three at the orphanage, there's actually a very big gap between near and mello's intelligence compared to matt's. he's smart, definitely, but he's not actually a genius like the other two. this caused matt to feel a great divide between himself and the other two, and he tried his best to hole up in his room and study to become like them, but it ultimately left him burnt out.

after that, matt stopped applying himself and his grades began tanking. watari realized this was a result of his unmotivation and not actual stupidity, though, so he allowed matt to keep his place as third.

matt began suffering from the pressure and anxiety he felt in trying to become one of L's successors, and during one of his walks outside the orphanage, he came across a group of people offering him a cigarette to help him chill out. matt was smart enough to know it was a bad decision, but he was also depressed and decided to take it up to help calm his nerves.

matt's hyperfixations revolve around technology. after becoming obsessed with video games, he eventually decided to learn about how people code them which lead him into being interested in coding and hacking.

he's mostly unmedicated for his adhd, though he does find a way to get adderall when he feels like it. because of his, he's extremely prone to boredom and is more than likely to give up on a specific tasks to play games instead.

he's overall very aimless due to his boredom and burnt out feelings towards bettering himself. he fills his time with exciting things like drag races and drugs, but other than that he's very shut and reclusive and unlikely to let someone pull him away from his games unless they're offering something more fun to do.

he constantly is seeking out stimulation. there's always music blasting from his headphones while he games or a radio playing while he drives.

mello: autism (asd)

his tone is typically very flat, which causes confusion when people are trying to tell his emotions. along with that, he's not very expressive physically unless mad or manic.

he gets irritated very easily when people fail to understand whether or not he's being serious or not, or if they misinterpret him. he knows deep down that it's not their fault, but he hates being reminded of how he's the problem.

he constantly feels alienated from others. he was never able to make friends in the orphanage. he always started off well, but was never able to maintain connection with others. because of this, he isolates himself from just about everyone — only really keeping in contact with lawliet, near, and matt when he's older.

he's very defensive and possessive of his interests. he doesn't like when other people dislike them, but he hates when they seem to like them a lot. he's like this with friends as well, mostly when he was younger. he also got jealous when matt hung out with other kids instead of him, especially since he already struggled to keep friends so he was worried about ruining their friendship and being abandoned.

he wished he wasn't autistic when he was younger. of course, he was nervous about what other people thought about him, but his issues typically went back to him hating how difficult everything was for him — communicating, making connections, feeling like he belonged. no matter what he did, it always felt like the wrong choice; no matter where he went, he didn't belong.

unlike many other autistic people, he doesn't hate loud noises. in fact, a majority of the music he enjoys revolves around loud sounds. however, he has to be in the right mood to listen to them. he doesn't just put music on whenever, he has to want to actively listen to it in order to stand it. similarly, he can't have anything on in the background if he's trying to get work done. his surroundings are either completely silent or shaking pictures off the wall loud.

misa: (adhd)

throughout school, misa struggled with the material more than others. she had a very short attention span and often got in trouble for daydreaming instead of focusing. this is what caused her to start becoming overly insecure about her smarts and try and make up for it by being pretty and funny.

most her hyperfixations fall into stereotypical feminine traits, such as makeup and fashion.

when her fans found out she had adhd, she played into the stereotypes and just used it to make herself seem overly bubbly and dumb as she knew it would help her as an idol. however, due to this many people started regarding her as a moron with no ideas of substance, which added to her insecurities regarding her intelligence. whenever she did try to showcase herself and her ideas, she was typically laughed at and most people thought she was joking.

since japan has very strict drug laws, she's unmedicated and her symptoms are very severe; specifically her forgetfulness, excitability, fidgeting, hyperactivity, impulsivity, irritability, lack of restraint, and persistent repetition of words or actions. she's also very prone to mood swings when provoked.

near: autism (asd) & dyspraxia

her special interests are toys. she's not very picky and likes things that range from puzzles to toy robots, but she does favor dolls. she especially likes ones that come with television shows such as ever after high, equestria girls, monster high, and my little pony. she's not ashamed of her more childlike interests either, as she grew up around solely autistic people and was never made to feel embarrassed.

near has always preferred to play by herself as a child as she often felt like other people couldn't understand how exactly her little storylines played out in her head and it would be too much work explaining them when she could just play alone. she also just generally prefers not to socialize with others unless it comes down to those she is extremely close with, such as lawliet, matt, and especially mello.

she struggles a lot when it comes to social cues. she doesn't adjust her demeanor accordingly when it comes to certain situations, which makes her come across as uncaring. pair that with her inability to make eyecontact or even bother to face someone when they're talking to her, and she appears to be very uncaring most of the time.

her main stim is twirling her hair.

she has an insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, and ritualized patterns. she usually only wears all white, and is very highly organized when it comes to her personal space and belongings. all her toys are organized by what type they are and then what color. she also prefers to stick to her comfort zone and doesn't typically leave the orphanage unless it's absolutely necessary.

near is very selective when it comes to which textures she's willing to deal with. she only wears soft clothing like pajamas, and doesn't bother wearing shoes with her socks. she also typically likes warm and soft foods, such as oatmeal or rice.

she needs to feel stimulated at all times, so she typically watches something while she eats and listens to music when she's going to bed. she'll also often have one of her shows on in the background while playing with her toys or will put on fitting music for whatever adventure she's making her toys go on.

she's not very good at taking care of herself on her own, as she'll prioritize her hobbies over things like eating and showing. she's also easily stressed and unmotivated when it comes to things she doesn't like doing, and needs someone else to help her with things such as arranging doctor appointments and flights.

she also prefers to sit on the floor and crawl between spaces rather than walking around due to her dyspraxia. when she's feeling particularly weak, she uses a wheelchair and has either gevanni, lawliet, or mello push her around depending on where she is or who she's with.

93 notes · View notes