#its already been atleast 6 hours

[thelov3lybookworm]

I Didn't Ask For This (part eight)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Summary: Marriage had always been something sacred to little Y/n, something dream like, where her husband would come and whisk her away to a fairyland. At least, that's what she had always thought.

All her dreams would be shattered.

But maybe she can salvage them?

•○●⛦●○•

Tw: forced marriage, azzie sulking about (lmao), none more that I can think of, so let me know if I need to add anything.

A/n: okay, guys, first things first, I'm so sorry for the delay in this part. I just couldn't get to writing it and for the past few days I have had a lot of work to do. And, the part everyone's been waiting for is here. The slap is here. 😌

Enjoy!

•○🌑○•

It had been a week since Y/n had walked away from Azriel and left him alone on that balcony. Everything had gone back to the way it was before, with him doing his best to ignore her and her doing the same. The only difference was, he cared for her now, and she could see it in anything he did.

Filling her glass of water or filling her cup of tea at meal times. Not pretending that she didn't exist. Helping her and instructing her when training with other priestesses. So that was... progress?

As she stepped through the door to the training area, her eyes immediately started searching for her husband without her permission. But he wasn't in his usual spot in the corner of the ring. No, he was in the middle of the ring, sparring with Cassian.

And he was shirtless.

It wasn't as if she had never seen someone shirtless. Having a brother and living in a camp, it was an everyday occurrence.

But seeing Azriel was different. The way his muscles flexed as he spun and attacked Cassian, the way sweat dripped down them. It gave her butterflies.

"Not hard on the eye, don't you think?" Nesta murmured, startling Y/n. "Or are you too busy drooling over him to form coherent thoughts?"

"Shut up." Y/n mumbled. That was when she noticed that there were no priestesses, including Gwyn. "Where are the others?"

"They had some ceremony today. And Emerie had important business in her camp. It's just the four of us today."

Y/n nodded, then realised that would mean that she would have all of Azriel's attention on her. Her mouth dried.

Nesta and she started with some warmup exercises while the Illyrians finished off their sparring. When they were done, Cassian sent her a cheeky grin and a wink as she walked to Azriel. Y/n shook her head, exasperated.

Azriel was waiting for her when she neared him. And when he looked up, she knew today was going to be one hell of a day.

•○🌑○•

Y/n panted, crouching for a moment. She had discarded the upper jacket that she had worn that morning on a nearby bench. She was sure if she squeezed all the sweat from her body, it would rival the water of the Sidra.

Azriel had shown her absolutely no mercy today, with all his undivided attention upon her.

"Tired already?" Azriel asked, sweat dripping down his forehead.

Y/n gaped. "What do you mean already tired? It's been hours since we started. Atleast 5 hours, if you ask me."

He raised a brow. "Actually, its barely been over an hour."

"Excuse me? You're lying."

"No I'm not."

"Hey Y/n!" Nesta called before she could answer. Y/n turned to her and Cassian. "I have some work to do in the library and Cassian has a meeting with Rhys. We're leaving. Is that okay with you? You can come with me if you want."

Y/n shook her head. "You go. I'll go and get some rest after this."

Nesta nodded, waving to her and exiting the training area with Cassian on her heels, wiggling his brows at Y/n. She tried to scowl at him, but couldn't. He was just too adorable.

Azriel was looking at her with an unreadable expression on his face. He brushed a stand of hair back from her face, his hand lingering on her cheek. She felt butterflies erupt in her stomach.

But then he went rigid, a muscle feathering in his jaw. She noticed his shadows thickening around him, hiding him from view.

And then her eyes flitted to the arch that led into the training area, where the middle Archeron sister had appeared. She smiled in that perfect manner of hers when Azriel glanced at her.

"Azriel." Her said in her lilting and melodic voice. "Its been weeks since we talked. Where have you been?"

He studied her for a minute before turning back to Y/n. "I've been busy."

A flash of hurt crossed Elain's features before she smiled again. She placed a hand on his shoulder and Y/n looked away.

"I think I'm done with training today. Have a good day." Y/n said, making a beeline for the arch, ignoring the sound of protest azriel made behind her.

She raced down the steps, heart beating wildly. But then she remembered that she had left her jacket back on the bench near where she was training. She felt weirdly naked without it.

Cursing herself, she turned back, practically flying up the stairs, praying and hoping she wouldn't find them doing something she couldn't handle.

But, as said before, her life never went as she wanted it to.

When she emerged in the training area, she found the middle Archeron sister standing in the exact same spot Y/n had been in a few moments prior. And they were kissing. Elain was all over Azriel, his hands holding her waist.

An involuntary gasp escaped Y/n, and it must have been loud as Azriel pulled back and turned to her. He paled.

"Y/n–" She ignored him, walking straight to the jacket lying near him and donning it. When she turned to leave, he tried to get her attention again, to no avail. And so he caught her wrist.

Before she knew what she was doing, she whipped around and her hand flew up. She only realised what she had done when her palm started stinging and Azriel stumbled back, landing on the bench where her jacket had been.

He stared at her with wide eyes, his mouth gaping like a fish.

She had slapped him.

It was completely unexpected. She didn't mean to slap him. She wanted to apologise, but she stopped herself.

"Don't play with my life Azriel. One moment, you look like you actually want me, the next, you turn around and kiss her. This is not a game, Shadowsinger."

"Y/n– I swear it is not what it looks like. I can explain. I–"

But Y/n couldn't stand to be in his presence anymore, so she left.

•○🌑○•

Night descended swiftly on Velaris, and Y/n found herself sitting next to Nesta while eating dinner. She hadn't told Nesta about what she'd witnessed yet. She didn't have the energy.

Azriel was nowhere to be seen. And, even though Y/n was happy about it, she couldn't help but wonder where he was.

After dinner, as she was about to step into her room, a shadow darted in front of her face, making her stop in her tracks. It looked frantic as it flew around Y/n before flying towards the general direction of where the training area was supposed to be.

Her brow furrowed. It looked like the shadow wanted her to follow. And so despite the fatigue weighing her down, she followed it.

It took her straight to the stairwell that led to the training area and up it. She slowed down when she heard voices coming from beyond the arch.

"How many times do I have to tell you I don't want anything to do with you!" That was Azriel.

"Az–" Y/n froze. That was Elain.

"No Elain. I am married. And I want to have a relationship with my wife. Why can't you understand–"

"You didn't want her–"

"Now I do! I want her."

"What does she have that I don't?"

"It's not about being better than the other. She is my wife, and I want to get to know her."

"But she doesn't like you."

"Yeah well, she might have started to like me if you hadn't kissed me this morning. We might have had a chance at ahappy life, and now you've ruined it. She will never want me again, all thanks to you. Are you happy now?"

"Then tell me you didn't want me to kiss you."

Y/n peeked around the arch to see them standing near a practice dummy. He was shirtless and gaping at her. "Me telling you to not kiss me was not enough? Me trying to step away, push you away when you kissed me was not enough? Fine. Listen closely Elain, because I will not repeat it again. I. Do. Not. Want. You. And nor did I want you to kiss me. I did not enjoy it."

Elain stared at him for a moment before turning and marching straight towards the arch. She looked furious. When she got closer, she realised Y/n was standing in the arch. Elain sneered at her, bumping her shoulder harshly on the way out.

Y/n watched her go with her mind spinning.

Azriel had been forcibly kissed by Elain. He hadn't wanted it, despite what she had believed.

A thump sounded from below, and Y/n looked down to find a first aid box her her feet. She frowned, but then that little shadow came to hover around her face before darting to Azriel.

That was when she saw that Azriel was sitting down on a bench, his head in his hands. There was a small puddle of dark liquid beneath his feet, some of it dripping down his hands.

With a jolt of horror, Y/n realised it was his blood. Drops of it led to the training dummy, and she summarised that he had been punching the dummy for so long that his hands started bleeding.

She picked the box by her feet, walking to where he sat. He looked up when she came near, his eyes widening slightly. He said nothing as she kneeled in front of him, opening the box and setting it next to her. He watched her as she took his hands and examined them, starting to work on him.

She knew how to patch wounds up, from the most tiniest to fatal wounds. She was the one that mostly patched her brother up.

She worked in complete silence the whole time, except for when azriel had hissed in pain when she was applying a gel into his wounds.

When she was done, she surveyed his hands. Then she finally glanced up.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have slapped you." She mumbled quietly.

He smiled faintly. "I deserved it." He said back, equally quiet.

"That you did." She nodded. A surprised laugh left him, some of the tension bleeding from his shoulder.

They didn't say anything for a long time before she gathered all the supplies and the box vanished. As she stood up to return to her room, she paused.

She wanted this to work, she knew that. And she knew that he wanted th same thing. So, mustering all the courage she had, she glanced back at him. He hadn't moved, staring at her.

"I hope the offer to take a tour of Velaris still holds?" It was a peace offering. She knew they needed to sit and have a long chat about everything, but for now, neither of them were ready for a heart to heart. They might have been friends before, but they didn't know each other now. They needed to understand what the other had become in the last five centuries to understand each other.

His brows furrowed. "What..." But then he perked up, his eyes lit up with precious hope. "The offer still stands."

"Thank the cauldron." She smiled. "Tomorrow?"

"Whenever you say."

"You've lived here. What do you suggest?"

"Morning is a good time, though its prettier in the night." He searched her eyes.

"Well... I guess we have no option but to spend the whole day in the city, don't you think?" A bright, beautiful grin spread on his face as he nodded eagerly. "Be ready after breakfast then, Shadowsinger."

As she walked down the steps, she could hear faint cheers coming from behind her, and she smiled.

A little of the weight she seemed to carry around everywhere lessened.

And she knew this was the right choice.

•○🌑○•

Part 9

Taglist: @bubybubsters @maxxieluvs @bubbbllee @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @waytoomanyteenagefeels @tell-me-a-poem @the-lake-is-calling @spaxxxi @japanese-wonderland-blog @valeridarkness @moonlwghts @deadratio @esposadomd @harrystylesfan2686 @missusbarnes-rogers @whatthefuckshappeningrn @hyacinthoideshispanica @historygeekqueen @lizziesfirstwife @nastynesta @aroseinvelaris @nightless @cleverzonkwombatsludge @kodokunarisu-blog @selillusion @eos-princess @moonfawnx @a-court-of-milkandhoney @emilyo-218 @wannabewolf @ailyr92 @chronically-online-cheese @myheartfollower @hells-sluttiest-new-arrival @marina468 @menaosama @starryhiraeth @hereticdance @mali22 @valencia-rou @azrielsstarlight @marvelouslovely-barnes @luvmoo @starlight-hope @a-frog-with-a-laptop @fall-myriad @alt-ghost @elleofdragons @ruleroftides @5moremin @stargirl1714 @bunnymallowo

#acotar #azriel x reader #azriel acotar #azriel spymaster #azriel shadowsinger #shadowsinger x reader #Acotar fanfic #rhysand #mating bond #a court of thorns and roses #azriel fluff #acotar fandom #acotar series #Shadowsinger #spymaster #fluff #azriel fic #azriel fanfic #sarah j maas #acotar headcanon #acotar smut #Acotar writing #acotar fluff #acotar x reader #reader insert #forced marriage #tw forced marriage

[winterspiderpurrs]

Alpha Bucky and Alpha Tony looking for the perfect omega to finally settle down. Here comes cute Peter and they have to keep him

They have been together for atleast 5 years now. Mated for 3 before Bucky and Tony the Alpha couple decided they wanted to grow their family and start to search for an Omega. Blind dates, friend of a friend they have had no such luck yet. Its been months and they know things will take time but no one has clicked with them.

Maybe Bucky was out with Steve complaining about how uneventful the last date was. " I dunno punk. I know these things take time but man. The last one? I'm sure Alpine was smarter then her. She looked great and was nice but I guess I've gotten used to having a genius around." Steve laughs and sips some of his tea. " You know.... before I got with Sam. Sam was seeing another Omega, just a couple of dates. He volunteers at the same center that Sam does. They actually are still friends. Meet him a few times and he actually might work for you and Tony. "

" Yeah? Hmmm... Ask Sam if he can arrange something if his friend would be interested but remember.."

" Don't mention Tony's name. I know I know."

So a few weeks later a small date was set up for Bucky and the omega. Tony thought it best to see if Bucky would think it would be worthy before introducing himself into the mix.

" Incoming call from Bucky Sir."

" Put him through Friday.... so Buckaroo its been almost four hours. Good sign or bad?" Tony said with a laugh. Hearing Bucky snort before he started talking " Good. Tones... I have a good feeling about this one."

"Oh?

" Yeah he is a real doll, babe... he's smart... he actually interned at the tower when you still lived out in Cali. Currently has a lab assistant job with Bruce"

" Bruce? Our Bruce? "

"Yes. And he still finds time to volunteer at the center and different shelters. He is from Queens and babe.... I never thought I'll find another pair of brown eyes that I could just stare into and get lost in"

" Damn, okay thats a ringing endorsement.... set up another date to where I could meet him?"

" Next Thursday. 6:30 at the little Italian place we like in Brooklyn. He already agreed, and I got a table in the back reseved and Tony? "

" Yeah?"

" He sent me home with baggy with a piece of cloth thats soaked in his scent to make sure we both are compatible. I promised I wouldn't open it til you could scent it too. "

" Hurry home then la mia prugna"

30 minutes later Tony and Bucky were huddled up together on the couch.

" Ready?"

" Let's get it over with"

Bucky opens the baggy and lifts the small hankie hand. He hand it over to Tony for him to smell first but he was already smelling the mouth watering scent. Watching Tony as he inhales another deep breath. His eyes dilating pupils blown, his hand has aslighy tremor as he hand the cloth over to Bucky to get a deep smell.

" We need to see about moving that date up sooner.... and maybe buy him a neck guard... God Bucky... how were you able to resist biting him on the spot."

" He was wearing scent blockers."

" What's his name again?"

" Peter Parker"

-*-*-*-*-*-*-**--*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Hope you liked it! La Mia Prugna = my plum , since Bucky's fav is plums

***** UPDATE AS OF 4.10.23********

Part 2 added

#asks #writing prompt #winterironspider #winterspider #ironspiderwinter #starker #starker plus bucky #omega peter parker #alpha bucky #alpha tony #alpha beta omega #winterspiderpurrs

[aliveahahafuck]

Okay okay okay!

I just realised I could do this again because it was my biggest regret of the last campaign to not do it, so here we go,

SESSION RECAP!!!!!! :D

So we're running beyond the witchlight and its session 1 so the session starts while we're in line at the ticket booth

So we're next in line but rather than buying tickets, everyone just sees these two, completely identical, 5 foot tall figures arguing about who's fault it was that they had basically no money and who would get in the most trouble, all while insulting eachother and their mother?

This, my dear readers, was Pen; my friends character, and Crow; my character. Two completely identical drow twins (like, they're even dressed the same, only difference is their hair and cloaks of slightly different colours with different crests) that compliment each others individual skill set; Pen, the younger twin, is a socially awkward, but extremely protective and intelligent barbarian, and Crow, obviously the older twin, is a charming and kind ball of energy put to good use as a bard.

They also perfectly embody the concept of "the smart one, and... atleast you're pretty"

Deadass Pen has negative cha and Crow has negative int lmao

Anyway someone pushes past us because we're taking too long and we suddenly realise that we're next so we go up and ask for two tickets, we're told 8gp so we give that and then we're told that that was only one ticket

Cue us, mostly crow, trying to persuade the goblin manning to booth to honour the 8gp price he initially said because we did ask for two

It works! Sorta? Goblin gets told off by some invisible being and hands over the tickets, saying that an anonymous benefactor has already paid for our entry.

Suddenly we hear squaking behind us and turn to see a 5 foot tall hawk arakocra and a 6foot tall cheetah tabaxi behind us insisting that they're with us

This is the other half the party, Birb and Juniper Skies, who are both monks. Birb is exactly which one you'd assume.

After a bit of banter and them also reciving tickets from an anonymous benefactor we go to enter the park but stop by the map on the wall, noting that there's no more hand held versions left.

Well everyone else looks at the map, crows looking around at the surroundings excitedly.

When crow finally looks at the map he immediately notices the tent labeled as the hall of illusions and starts dragging Pen in that direction, birb and Juniper follow/ take the lead when they realise where we're heading.

And well

We get there and, guys, our characters haven't been in the park for 10 minutes and Birb is already being monitored by security and we are like 3 steps in the door to the hall of illusions when a miscommunication causes birb to sucker punch Pen in the throat.

"As soon as I register what happened I'm going to Pen and casting healing word; 'What the fuck?'"

"How aggressive are you saying that to me?"

"Not aggressively, more like wtf is going on"

"Gotcha"

*rolls dice* "Pen, take 6 healing-"

"OH, THATS YOURE HEALING WORDS!" *laughing*

Idk why that surprised him, not like I don't do that all the time lmao

Anyway security gets called on us, they get placated and we're told no violence

Pen accidentally ruins a proposal, somehow only Crow and Birb pass the int check (both have negative int, the other two dont) and only Crow passes the wis save; with a nat 20 too bayyyyybeeee

Cue tashas hideous laughter hitting everyone but me and bird, but birb laughing anyway

Anyway, we go through this magical house of mirrors, where juniper has to stop birb from fighting his reflection, and when we go out help the woman who's proposal that Pen fucked find her mortified husband

And ngl, that's about as far as we got in 4 hours lmao

#dnd #dungeons & dragons #shenanigans #we're absolute dumbasses #the chaos twins

[dear3st-dead-diary]

Dear dead diary

It's been 7 days since I went on a 5 or 6 (?) Day cocaine and MDMA bender. I threw out the rest of my drugs after going through 3 days of psychosis from quiting cold turkey.

I have 24 hours to pack a week's worth of makeup, clothes, jewelry and drag options and so far, I've only packed the wig.

I'm glad I quit but Gods do I miss it, I swear when I was dumping it into the trash I heard the tray calling my name and that really fucked me up, like I heard it speaking to me in my ear, not in my head, like the tray had a voice of its own. I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me I fucking guess?!?!???

My 25th birthday is comming up, in 11 days to be exact. I stopped celebrating it after... my suey attempt five years ago when my dad kicked me out for being on drugs and queer.

I did it in my boyfriends house at the time and after the doctors successfully resuscitated me I was in a 2 day coma. He wrote me a love letter that I layer burned because after my discharge from the hospital on my 20th birthday he not only dumped me but kicked me out. And after a week of looking for places to live I had to regrettably move back in with my dad.

Funny how five years later the tables have tunred. My dad's been the one kicked out and I'm still monkey-bar-ing from substance to substance.

Nothing good happens to my friends or family this time of year abd I feel selfish for not realizing sooner that my birthday was the talisman of thier holiday marker where atleast one good thing could happen. Abd I've cut them all off from that. I'm sorry.

I should really just endure it and let them all do something, even though it still hurts.

In about t days It'll be 7 years since my cousin/step-sister was Murdered. I hear her.. Especially when I'm about to drink or intoxicated myself. I know it hurts her. But..

I don't know, I like the fun I have. After my 2 year break of Sobriety, I've made it clear to everyone that I'd rather slit my own throat than live the rest of my life completely sober.

I was miserable for those 2 years. The cravings were driving me insane.

I only went on a coke bender because this guy hooked up with me when I was too drunk to concent.

I wanted to fuck him, all he had to do was ask but instead he waited till I was 2 cases deep and couldn't speak.

I don't know what to tell my boyfriend. What's worse? That I went on a cocaine bender or that some guy who I thought was my close friend assaulted me at a party.

I've chosen to just keep the peace for everyone's sake and keep my mouth shut. Only my roomates know. But no one knows who did it. Except me. And I hope he...

I hope he finds help to... not he like this. To pull ahit like this on people. I don't know if I even wish him harm because I already had feeling for him before the incident. It just sucks. But as I've said. Keep the peace...

Even though it drove me crazy and gave me psychosis for a few days...

So, I get to see my boyfriend for valentines day which is nice. I just hope on the long ass travel I manage to stay sane and calm. I hate long trips.

Why do I keep dating people that live across the country? I don't know.

I guess it gives me an escape.

So dear Dead Diary, wish me the best of luck 💋

~A

[klunsgod]

Reupload Gonanza - Part 23, Section 4 (March, 2021)

oh boy, Find Atlantis! this is the school assignment

get ready boys

so our school assignment was to create a 3D labyrinth in Unity. we were free to design everything else. of course, with such a big task, our class was split in teams of three.

on the first day, both of my partners didn’t show up, so i was left to brainstorm what theme i could do. i had many choices; attraction park, a castle, candyland, SeaWorld (the scariest pick).

well the next day, both of my partners showed up and both wanted the progression of the labyrinth to go as follows: you’re on a ship, you crash the ship underwater, you find Atlantis. well, okay i was outnumbered so i followed along. this idea was also inspired by Sea of Thieves, a game they liked to play often... even during the assignment.

we each had to design a segment of the maze. i did the underwater part.

so i got to hand with designing the props of the stuff.

it’s pretty cool rocks!

creative juices bursting and bradwursting!!

and other stuff.

in terms of modelling... well i got the rocks right

but here’s the horrible part: GROUP PROJECTS ALWAYS GO WRONG

nobody showed up during the group project and, even if they did, they would play Sea of Thieves (remember this was during the pandemic; we were all at home). i remember passing out during school and waking up to the sound of Sea of Thieves sound effects. college hours were already over. i quietly left my group VC and took a breather.

i was a one-man team. but a one-man is still one guy, so well Fuck, a lot had to be cut back. still, i wanted to try my best, so i wanted to implement a Light Source!

well, it’s there.

one thing i’m glad about is that i managed to implement a menu. when we eventually got to present our labyrinths, some games didn’t implement menus so i felt a bit prideful about that.

so about “Find Atlantis”? yeah well i couldn’t make Atlantis... but i could atleast make people laugh, so i added a little workshop table where you can see me sawing hard at making Atlantis:

that would be the end of the “Labyrinth”. well, “a direct path to the end” would be more fitting about its end product.

i wanted to see if i could animate a fish inside Unity, but i just wasn’t smart enough to implement one. still, the image above looks quite funny, so here you go.

if i may rant a little: one classmate claimed to have been working on one asset, a shipwreck background piece, for the 6 months of development time (January 2021 - June 2021) we had. it was a background piece, never intended to be interacted with.

there was also me juggling multiple things: other schoolwork, Klunscomic, and the fact i switch to my dad and mom’s house every 2 weeks (yeah they divorced HEY another fun fact you may not have known!)

well, Presentation Day came, and everyone was pretty empathetic and impressed that i did all of the work; the only work done by another person in my group was the music and... come on. here’s the GameJolt page for the school assignment and judge yourself if the music’s passable.

they were also impressed i made a working respawn blueprint. i wanted to add a fart SFX if you fell but, again, too complicated to learn for me. i got an 8/10 grade (Dutch grading system) while... god knows what my other group members got. the other groups had such good labyrinths created, i only wish what my assignment would’ve looked like if ...

That was the month of March! See you next time on April!

#reupload gonanza

[stressedbbokari]

ok well i hate exams. officially. they were annoying before but now there right up there with that one kid who spoilt the entirety of tenant for me back in 10th grade. and, yes, hatred of exams is probably a universal thing but i just went through like a wholeass spiral from studying for an my history exam.

ok, so i classify myself as a lazy perfectionist. i don't necaassarily feel like putting effort but whenever i do decide to do something. i go all out. and its not ready that diffrent when it comes to exams. i study really hard and wait for the upcoming validation cause im a praise and attention whore. but. it was 9 pm and i had 3 whole giant chapters to study and mcqs and maps to revise. i was getting tired and cranky. i hadn't eaten lunch cause i wasn't hungry and forgot water was a thing, like usual and had been studying since 12 am running entirely on pure stubbornness and 3 hours of sleep. not a great state to be in. im aware. and I'm already on the verge of tears and my father calls me for dinner and forces me to eat cause i hadn't had lunch and my dad hates skipping meals and boom! worst idea ever. cause i immediately start puking and then that jsut makes me feel shitty and useless and brain just...stopped??? i don't know it felt like my brain was starting to lose connection and was attempting aa full faactory reset?? make sense??. i felt like i wasnt there for a while. and everything was buzzing and loud and it was all very confusing and sort of terrifying. and i had no ideas what was happening.

later, im like on the couch with a blanket and a bucket next to me and it's 3 am and i gave up studying and went back to sleep. tried to atleast. i was overthinking and then decided to study one more chapter because in the back of my head i was terrified of failing. and then like not 10 minutes after i opened my text my mom calls me and she gives me the most undesi advice ever.

stop studying and go to sleep before i kill my brain. aand because i have self preservation and a healthy amount of respect for my mother i attempted to go to bed. i slept at 4 and then woke up at 6, had the shittiest morning and wroe a truly horrible examination.

and my feeling for exams have gotten to truly concerning levels. at this point im thinking of quitting. it's turning into a very toxic realtionship.

#did you sleep? #my mom sends me a message after my exam and ive never been more terrified #three simple words that hold all the power #i said yes #cause technically i did

[thewul]

Chapter I, The Pit

His pace set him apart from casual joggers, although the mist of his breath reminded him that casual joggers were few and in between at this early hour in mid December, with the cold harsh winter of New York on the doorsteps

At 5:30AM he had already ventured outside to the nearby Carl Schurz Park that stretched for some 15 acres along the Hudson river in his Upper East Side neighborhood of Yorkville, and it never occurred to him to do otherwise day in day out, jogging was for him, and indeed for many New Yorkers, a sure remedy to his otherwise hectic trader workdays at NYSE

It wasn’t so much a stressful life, as he learned how to cope with that part, but the pace of it, NYSE traded millions of stocks every minute of every hour of every business day and traders like him stood at the tip of it

Crossing to Polly Gordon Walk from East 84th St he arrived at his favorite part of which was its Esplanade, the lights of Triborough bridge and the skyline of Long Island danced in the waters of the Hudson river, the steel structure of the bridge and the tall concrete buildings had that other existence, flimsical, barely existing over the waters but real at the same time, as real as the bridge or the buildings of which it was the other half

There were many things that we couldn’t affirm or deny and that we took for granted for lack of a better alternative, and it is taking things for granted that diminished them and that diminished us in the end, things simply were and taking the time to contemplate them yielded many unexpected gifts in life

The Pit as traders called the trading floor of New York Stock Exchange was all but remote from his mind right now, as he concentrated on his accurate regular steps with the usual heads up to the other regular joggers that he usually met in the park at this time, early thirties, dark haired, medium tall and slender with broad shoulders and a strong built he could have been an athlete, he was one during his studies, jogging wasn’t an occupation or a hobby it was part of his life, all 45 minutes of it

Arriving at the height of Gracie Mansion he cut inside the park all the way to Circle Lawn and then passed over the beautiful arch stone bridge that was there and looped around Gracie Mansion again, continuing south all the way to Polly Gordon Walk to avoid East End Av that was busy with traffic at any given hour, then straight to the Esplanade again he had completed his first lap, of which there was several before meeting Peter Pan, or atleast his very statue

Nearing the end with two more laps to go when the effort became strenuous and the respiration heavier, reality blended with that other dimension that we can only perceive when we go towards the limit of things and of ourselves, trees danced in the blueish shades of light itself only dim and struggling against obscurity that gave everything a surreal appearance, not too different from an open eyed dream

He finished his last lap while clocking his time and recovered his breath walking, it was over now but he knew the time and place when this twilight zone would happen again, at this early hour in this park during the last two laps, and it kept him eager for more, the field, the field of dreams as he called it, every inch of the 15 acres of the park was a gift in his life and as any New Yorker he valued green spaces the most, for the havens of peace and serenity they provided inside the concrete jungle

By 6:30 he was done with his morning routine which involved stretching movements and enjoyed a shower with the news on TV at half volume, in his line of trade you had to be informed, many things could make stocks go up or down, and traders ought to be the first to know, every morning after his shower he spent almost half an hour watching different news channels and browsing on different finance websites

The clock ticked at 6:55 when he headed to his favorite bakery for breakfast, neatly shaven and casually dressed in a BOSS Menswear dark blue tracksuit over charcoal gray thermal underwear by his favorite brand to keep him warm, complete with same color sneakers by HUGO designed with TPU details and structured-knit uppers, while matching knitted gloves with touch tech tips protected his hands from the bitter cold

Cut to a regular fit in French terry made from pure cotton with its logo in a stylish metallic effect, the tracksuit gave him that casual chic appearance that he craved, even youngster hip with the hood over his head to cover his still drying hair, Jibreel Demakian had regular traits perfectly proportioned with somber beauty features, mostly his dark eyes with long black lashes, which he owed to the now distant Balkans origins of his family, and that stood in sharp contrast with his lighter skin

His slightly thinner lips marked him as somewhat authoritarian or at any rate not easy to mess with, while at the same time a real success with the opposite sex, owing to his habit of suddenly breaking the ice of his Slavic temper with the broad warm smile he inherited from his Sicilian mother

He could have been mistaken for a HUGO BOSS model, even the smell of him, Infinite by BOSS

#HUGO BOSS

[limutosgerald16]

School Day: Sept. 6, 2022

Before I went to school today I made a list for activities that I've done, haven't done yet, or will do. I remembered how easy it is to lost track of the things you need to do especially in school so it made sense to make one. I entered the school and sanitized my hands, and then I went upstairs to my classroom. It wasn't the best start since the ceiling fan on our side of the room wasn't working for some reason and I was already sweating just a few minutes after. First period started with our teacher being a little bit late but I didn't particularly mind it. We learned about a few philosophers like Socrates and Platos and ended the lesson with a bunch of homework. Philosophy takes up over two periods in our schedule so the third period is actually only our second subject during Tuesdays. Anyway, it was ICT time and shortly before our teacher arrived, I had only then remembered about today's quiz after Lesson 4. I went over to my friend Joshua, who let me read some of his notes. I spent the rest of the time studying those notes and I sometimes still did even after our teacher started the lecture. By the end, I was told that me and Josh would've scored nicely but that quiz wasn't recorded. It's okay though since there were some questions that I struggled with and we were allowed to restart the entire quiz on a different day. Soon came our teacher for Oral Communication and we spent half the time listening to her, while the other half we spent on answering a seatwork. For the final period, which was Pre-Calculus, we learned about the standard form of a circle and how to create an equation out of knowing its center coordinates and radius. On previous math-related lessons, I was able to understand them relatively smoothly but for this one I had to study it for around an hour or two before the process locked in my head. When I started answering the homework we got, I noticed something strange. When proving that equations 1 and 2 were equal, I ended up with 197=101. I blame this on the negative sign on one of the given information as when I tried to solve the same problem without the negative sign, I ended up with 5=5. I believe this would've been the right answer but for some reason, our teacher told us that it definitely was still the one with the negative sign. I'm still a little stumped but I guess I'll find out how to answer it properly tomorrow. After that, I discussed some plans regarding classroom materials since I was one of the classroom officers. Some of us ended up just donating materials since they weren't being used in their homes. The time was 11:10 PM when I got in bed when I received a text which reminded me of this activity. I nearly forgot, but atleast now I'm finished at 11:35 PM.

[thatfuzzyfamiliarspace]

what can I actually fucking do. I’m making him miserable having to deal with this shit. its so uncomfortable him not being my FP. I fully feel nauseous. He does everything for me, and now he’s gotta put up with this ? Idk how to feel better, how to get out this funk. All the alarm bells are going on in my head saying things are really bad and he’s seeing the cracks starting to show. Why can’t I just accept he’s willing to work through anything with me ? The pity party helps no one. But idk how to be constructive in this situation. I can’t make him feel better, I can’t change how I feel. So what.. ? How can I shift my fixation ? How do I stop focusing on Alex ? Could I be forced ? Jordan is able to get me in and out of many a mindset, but I shouldnt rely on him to do anything. But could he get me into a frame of mind where I focus fully on him ? Would that revert my FP back to him ? 

Maybe I should read up some more. Every case is individual but maybe theres sommin I can do to aid. Its on me to do shit. He’s helped more than anyone and I’ve gotta stop allowing him to be THE one to help. I need to be the one. If he wants a competitive Georgia then fine. I’ll do that. No fucking up today. Get tasks done. Focus on positives. No more draggy talks, no more pity, no more apologies. 

I’ve sorted out alot this morning, my finances, my schedule for the next few weeks, resolved the weird beef with Malu, set up seeing family, spoken to my friends. I’ve already achieved alot today and its not even 10am. 

I’m gonna turn it around. I dont want him to have to have another evening last last night. I’m not gonna let myself get so low. Imma put on his song, read up on some stuff. Give him some space at uni and when I’m an 8 or above I’ll message him and tell him that. I’m a 6 now just from getting all this out. I was like a 2 this morning. Big jump. I can set a goal and it doesnt matter if I dont get to an 8, it didnt matter that I didnt get to a 9 yesterday. The pressure of that made it impossible, when I was only an 8 and he got mift that he couldnt bump me up that little higher, thats where the issue was. an 8 was fine. I probs wouldve got to a 9 if he’d been happy I was an 8 and just spent the rest of the eve with me as per norm, I woulda jumped up within the hour, probs even after food. I just need to communicate that better to him. I did my best. I didnt get to where he asked but atleast I was on the high end of the positive spectrum. 

[danwashere]

get to know me q&a !

1. (pen) name + nickname(s): murphy/min

2. gender: enby?? female presenting? (im questioning it big time!)

3. star sign: aries!

4. height: 5'4

5. time: cst

6. birthday: the end of march

7. fav band: idkhow & the brobecks (bc dallon)

8. fav solo artist: liana flores & matt maltese

9. song stuck in head: the community theme song (atleast it was here by the 88)

10. last show: community

11. last movie: tangled & cars 2 (i watched them both on the last day of school because my teachers are uncreative lol)

12. when i created this blog: it was made in 2019 but i started posting today

13. when i post: no idea yet... i'll tell you when i post more than once-

14. last thing i googled: emojis that start with x

15. other blogs: no idea i need to get mutuals first-

16. do i get asks: not yet !

17. following: like two people lmfao

18. why i chose my url: my name + a cliche thing people wrote everywhere (blank was here)

19. lucky number: 11 & 13

20. followers: none, i am secret atm

21. avg hours of sleep: uh when i sleep its like 4-6

22. instruments: guitar (electric and acoustic), piano, bass guitar, ukulele (bc every white teenager plays it), drums, harp, & a few other misc ones

23. what am i wearing: oversized t shirt that i normally paint in

24. dream job: musician or author but make it.. not poor

25. fav food: fruit salad

26. nationality: american

27. fav song: any dallon weekes is already loved by me but ive also been listening to a lot of 2000s pop like celebration (kool and the gang)

28.  top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: community, locke and key, & the flash

#gettoknowme #get to know the person behind the blog #introductory post

[iayhifbigyakwiltbsywps]

I’m having horrible sensory issues right now and the phone is making it worst but I can’t stop scrolling ahh 😩

I went to the store.. it was hot... I’m usually a really cold person so I took jeans a sweater a normal shirt socks and some memory foam sketchers... my feet were hot and the memory foam made it worst and the jacket was hot and the store in general was how and this door by the back kept ringing and mom spent like 20 minutes there looking for some shorts. And the speakers kept going from music to the intercom to loud and soft. And it was hot and my feet burnt and it was crowded and my mom didn’t wear normal socks she decided to take the really puffy socks so she couldn’t try on shoes so I had to take of my socks and give them to her and I hate leaving my feet out and about so I put inside the very uncomfortable very how shoe without socks and she also KEPT TEXTING WITH MY AUNTS AND LIKE lady please you’re telling me to do something plz don’t make me wait and prolonging the uncomfortable situation. And so I got home and MY DOG KEEPS FRWAKKNG BARKING AT THE OUTSIDE CUZ MY DAD CAME HOME AND HIS BARK IS THE MOST HIGHPITCHED ANOYYING SOUND EVER! And I hate white lights but then I hate the yellow ones to and I hate the bathroom noise thingy and they always leave my doors open and they turn on the annoying hallway light and it’s just directly at my eyes and I am going to die cuz my whole head is ringing HEEEEEEELP

#sensory overload #sensory processing disorder #sound sensitivity #light sensitivity #everything was too hot #and highpitched #and she kept TALKING TO ME so i couldnt use hy headphones #adhd #attention deficit of hyperactive disorder #attention deficit hyperactivity disorder #attention deficit disorder #whats the difference between a #sensory shutdown #sensory meltdown #sensory breakdown #? #its already been atleast 6 hours #i hate it

[thicksimpx]

Prologue | Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4| Ch 5 | Ch 6 | ch 7 | ch 8 | Ch9| Ch10 | Ch11| Ch12| Ch13| Ch14 | Ch15 | Ch16 |

Summary:  Leaving the soul society for “research” - desperately looking to find answers, anything that’ll help him take down the Spirit king.. that is until he meets “HER” - She has him enamored, desperate and most of all curious… there’s something about HER

“Sometimes we do bad things for the people we love. It doesn’t mean it’s right, it means love is more important”

Warnings : 18+ , mature content, mature language, possessiveness , stalking , murder/gore, rough penetration, creampies , fingering, masturbation, cam girl y/n, Lots of Psychology lessons 😂,  violence, public sex, unrequited love.

(Aizen POV)

Class finally ended. As each student left they came up and dropped their papers into the bin on my desk. I had to admit, this class was deep.

"Professor Aldridge" a voice called. Lowly groaning I look up and to my surprise it was y/n.

"Mrs L/n what a surprises. You're usually the first out the door. To what do I owe the pleasure"

She waited until the last student walked out the room to start talking. "Uh, I just wanted to apologize for my lateness. "And um, Here's my paper. I'm not happy with it so , if I get a bad grade I'll do it over or whatever "

"I'm sure your paper is great Y/n" I took my glasses off and smiled. "If you have and trouble with assignments you're always welcome to schedule time during my office hours. I'll be more than happy to assist you." Im hoping she does schedule some time. I'll be able to be alone with her. Alone with y/n ....

"Thank you" she smiled. "Um have a great rest of your day sir" she said awkwardly and fast walked to the door. Stopping shit turned around and said "you should get contacts"

Before I could questioning her statement she was gone. Was she flirting? That was a compliment. She has a thing for older guys right ? Oh y/n you sneaky girl, don't say things like that, it makes me think you want me.... The way I want you.

—-

That Night

Y/n is home alone today. So far no one as came over and it's already 12Am. I bought a little fold up chair this time so Atleast i can be comfortable watching my girl. as I settled in, I noticed she was moving things in her room around. followed by her applying some make up, and a wig with some bunny ears.

A few seconds later from her large window I could see her sitting down at her desk smiling and talking as if someone else was in the room. I glance over and it was just her computer screen. no .. she's not... I straightened up in the chair and moved closer to the window to try and hear what she was saying a bit clearer.

(y/n pov)

Your hands felt up towards your chest. You cupped breast and kneaded them. The action alone made him breath a little harder. "It's been too long since I've cum hard and good." you sigh. "you know, I'm going to be honest with you guys. Normally someone would come over and do this for me, but he hasn't called in a while." you breathe out as the tips of your fingers trace your cunt.

"oh this? "You are crazy" you chuckled  responding to a comment  You licked your lips. "You like? It's not as pretty as my red outfit some of you like some much but I thought you'd like this one too"

"Oh wait, one of you sent me a gift that I planned on using tonight. you dont have to tell me who you are" you smiled as you left to rummage for something. You came back into view holding something and sat down quickly and close as you fixed the laptop to your liking. Once you were back in the frame you showcased a bottle of lube And a very big red dildo.

Admiring the gift you smile into the camera. "thank you to whoever bought this." you said as you eyed the toy. "its big but we can definitely make it fit" you pressed the tip to your lips, tongue darting out to lick it.

--

(Aizen POV)

Everything she said sounded like a whisper to me. I couldn't believe it. My y/n was a cam girl. she was giving everybody the chance to see what should belong to me.

Although she's showing everyone over the internet, im right here. With the perfect view. the perfect show just for me. Oh y/n are you teasing me now? I feel a little overwhelmed. What I'm seeing, everyday I learn more about you y/n. is this real?

My head, it feels oh so light from what I was witnessing. One hand wandered down between her legs and played with the hem of her panties, occasionally hovering over the hollow between leg and pussy before she pulled the white lace aside to fully reveal her beautiful puffy cunt. I snapped a quick picture, who knows if ill be lucky enough to see this sight again. I watched as she lubed up the red dildo and begin to push it inside of her. Inch by aching inch she pumped and the wet squelching sounds made my dick  jump. I wish it was me, my dick... ill give it to you so good.

Unbuttoning my pants quickly my dick jumped out and I palmed it as I watched. It was hard, I didnt know if I should watch her face or the way the dildo easily slid into her. everything about her was perfect. Looking at her even her feet were perfect symmetrical toes, clean nails just like the rest of her .. perfect

"I'm full, so fucking full"  I hear her cry out. she tested the waters by thrusting the toy slowly in and halfway out. "God I'd give anything for this to be you, I bet you feel hot to the touch" she moaned. I know.. oh I know my love. She was lost in it, pumping the toy in and out almost to the rhythm of my stroking as if she knew I was watching and wanted to match me

"I am... I wish I was, you wouldn't need that thing" I groaned softly, hands gripping my balls as she arched her back and spread her legs. Oh what a good girl you are y/n. doing all of this just for me. I had to admit that observing her cunt becoming slick and glazed with her juices bit by bit, smacking noises coming from it as she thrust with her toy was charming. I never knew I needed this. It did not escape my attention how she was circling her lower body, she's about to cum.

I spit into the palm of my hand for some additional lubricant which made the motions even smoother. At some point, I must have lost my mind and he instinctively moved his hips and thrust into my hand as if I was was the toy she was using. "Oh god daddy!" she shouted as she pushed the dildo as deeply as possible and went to touch her clit.

Her shivering frame and tense like movements alerted him to how painfully close she were. Y/n, shit, baby I want you to cum for me. it felt good to know I was the only one who knew her name these loser perverts dont know you the way I do.

"I-I wanna, oh god, cum w-with you" She moaned as her hand slithered down to her clit. I nodded, "I can't deny you princess" I muttered.

She rubbed her most sensitive bundle of nerves and came chanting "daddy" over and over as each wave hit her harder than the other one. Each spurt landed on my leg,  stomach and the floor as I groaned. "who knew we'll be moving so fast in our relationship babe, Getting off to each other like this" I laughed lowly cleaning myself up with some tissues I had in my pocket.

"um what are you doing"

I turned around and spotted a homeless man standing in the doorway to the room I was in. "how long have you been standing there?"

"long enough to spot you yanking it to that girl there. she's a hot piece of ass aint she. Ryan told me about her.. heard she does this every other Wednesday"

interesting. "so other homeless come here too?" I asked. the man just shook his head and said not really.

"oh then let me show you what I saw from the eighth floor, there's really good stuff we can jerk off to up there friend" I said quickly stuffing my self back into my pants and prompting him to follow me to the steps. without hesitation he came. fucking idiot. ill kill each and every one of you who come her to watch my Y/n.

—

Thicksimpx© 2022. Do not copy, claim, modify or translate my work without my permission. thanks 😘

#bleach aizen sosuke #bleach aizen #black reader x bleach #professor aizen sosuke #black reader #aizen x y/n #aizen sousuke #aizen x you #aizen

[headoverheelsforramsey]

Your Love Is Killing Me (Part 1)

Pairing : Dr. Ethan Ramsey x f!MC (Dr. Meera Bose)                                            Summary : A canon divergent take on the emotions Ethan and Meera face on returning from Miami, and what happens when Meera faints in the hospital atrium.                                    Category : Angst                                                          Warnings : A few swearings, PCOD and cardiovascular disease that comes with it, stress and anxiety                                                        Word Count : 1724

A/N : So this is my first fic,🙈 so please ignore some of the rookie mistakes, also please send in criticisms, I would love to improve. Got tired with clone Ethan and PB writers and the book 1 replay got to me so I thought torturing myself through angst will be a good idea. Happy Reading!  ❤

Meera shifts in her bed. Rolling over to face away from the window. It was another sleepless night for her. Where usually she used to be famished after coming home from work and all she desired for was her head to touch the pillow the last 5 days was completely different. These 5 nights she spent staring into the ceiling as a train of thoughts ran through her mind. Dr. Ramsey's words kept on ringing in her head "I need to be able to push you to your limits. To help you become the doctor you want to be. The one I know you can be." Lost in her reminiscence of that magical moment in the balcony of the Miami hotel, Meera didn't seem to notice the sky changing its colours from the dark starry blue to the first hues of gold, orange and red, signifying the beginning of a new day. She turned over thinking what went wrong, a calculation she was doing for the zillionth time and each time she came to a fruitless answer. Meera was interrupted by the sound of her alarm, one which was useless as she wasn't able to close her eyes for a single minute. 

She sat up in bed rubbing her eyes and catching a glimpse of herself on the full sized mirror. She was in her comfiest sweatpants, her uncombed curls sprawled over her shoulders and face. She removed her hair from her face and found tired eyes, deep dark circles and chapped lips staring at her from the mirror. She closed her eyes, hugged her knees close and rested her forehead on her knees as she thought about her plan for the day. For the past five days she had planned her days carefully so as to not run into the grumpy attending at any cost. She was on high alert. Any sign of him nearby and she always made an one eighty degree rotation in order to escape him. She went to meet the patient X to take his regular vitals and monitor required medicines on hours she was cent percent sure Dr. Ramsey was busy. She replied with lies and smiles to Dr. Banerji's unending question about the conference, Miami, Ethan and the sudden change in her behavior. Although she sometimes felt he could see right through her. 

Meera stood up from the bed and went into the shower. As soon as the cold water hit her skin she remembered how Ethan had abandoned her in the hotel in Miami. How she had been sitting there on the bed dressed in luxurious blue with her heart and bed cold as tears swelled up in her eyes. She remembered the awkward flight from Miami to Boston and the bare three sentences of exchange between her and Ethan. How she thought that the flight washroom was her safe haven and how she wished to spend the entire flight there. All these thoughts were such an emotional burden on her and she finally gave in to the inevitable. She double downed with sobs as she cried in the shower keeping as quiet as it was humanly possible for her so that her roommates won't get to know. After a few minutes she was finally able to compose herself. She stepped out of the shower a towel wrapped around her as she rubbed her hair dry. Meera got into a fresh pair of scrubs combed and tied her hair into a tight high ponytail. As she applied a generous amount of foundation to hide her dark circles and chapstick to moisturize her lips her phone beeped with a notification from her period tracker which notified that her period was 3 days late. She didn't think much about that as she had been dealing with PCOD since she was sixteen. She had almost defeated the disease with changes in her lifestyle and a few medicines, but after all there is no permanent cure. She had learned to live with it over the years. 

Finally she looked at herself in the mirror. She was now looking like Dr. Meera Bose the confident number one intern at Edenbrook Hospital. She forced on a smile to face her roommates outside her bedroom door and the world in general. This is what Meera's life looked like for the past five days. She was tired of putting on a happy show for the outside world and hence once she was inside her room with no one except herself her thoughts collided against each other and finally left her crying. She was tired of going through the same crescendo of thoughts and emotions again and again but there was no other way out because the only possible solution to end her pain, in Dr. Ramsey's words was "unethical and complicated."    

It was noon when Meera was already done with 6 cases. She also made it a point to check up on Dr. Banerji first thing in the morning when she was completely certain Ethan was in a board meeting. She was once again walking the crowded but motivated halls of Edenbrook navigating her way to her next patient's room. 

Meera felt a sudden piercing pain in the middle of her chest which slowly travelled to her left arm. It started as a mild one but quickly accelerated. From the corner of her eye she saw Ethan rounding a corner and walking towards her. It had been six days since both of them were in the same corridor. Before she was ready to process anything further she broke out into a sweat and started feeling tremendous trouble in breathing properly. All she remembers next is darkness and the sound of her charts slipping away from her hand and hitting the floor. In the last moments before her unconsciousness hit she felt someone holding her close and tight, the chaos of the hospital becoming silent to her as she tried with all her might to figure out if she had the opportunity to be in Ethan's arms once again like she was in Miami but she failed.  

 Ethan was very annoyed when he was held all morning in a stupid board meeting and wasn't able to finish any of his work. Ethan often doesn't listen to half of the things the board members say. He utilises those hours to mentally untangle the complications of the diagnostic team patient, something which he felt was much much more important than listening to entitled doctors who aren't even good as they think themselves to be. But today it was different. He was unable to concentrate at all. His mind wandered back to the one curly haired brunette intern. These past six days Ethan had immersed himself in work. Between the interns, the diagnostic team and Naveen's mystery illness his mind was pretty busy. He took on more cases than usual, pulled all nighters at the hospital and the little time he was at home he did find some article he needed to finish writing on his laptop. This was the only way he could keep her out of his head. Atleast this is what he believed, because work, patient care and her career was the only thing standing between him and her.

He was quickly making his way towards the diagnostic team office once he was finally freed from the conference room. He turned a corner and started walking through the corridors, pinching the bridge of his nose. That's when he heard a thud and saw a chaos forming around a patient who had just fainted, up ahead in the corridor. He picked up his pace ready to yell at the intern who was responsible for this. When he was merely steps away, he stopped in his track, completely recognizing that it wasn't a patient but an intern. The intern that topped the charts in the diagnostic team competition, the intern he was so keen on avoiding, and for the first time in years his doctor senses didn't kick in. He was looking at the intern, not as Dr. Ethan Ramsey but as just Ethan.

She was nestled in the strong arms of the Averio paramedic she was friends with. Ethan snapped out as the chaos became louder, a stretcher was brought and Meera was lifted into it. Surrounded by her intern friends and Dr. Delarosa, she was being rolled towards the ER. The immediate thing Ethan did was follow her, but that's when his pager beeped. It was a code blue from Baz. Ethan stopped once again evaluating his next step. He knew the diagnostic team was already understaffed and needed him, on the other hand Meera who- who- who was exactly what to Ethan he didn't know. Ethan did the same mistake he had done in Miami, he put his work, before her inspite of what his heart wanted.  

It took Ethan twenty minutes to handle the situation of the Diagnostic Team patient. After which he was on his way to the ER, determined to check up on Meera. He felt, him running after just an intern would stir up the hospital gossip. But did he care for it? He didn't, until he heard a few nurses huddled together talking in loud whispers. "I think she is pregnant, Mary told me she was feeling nauseous the other day." one of them said. "Are you serious?? Do you think it was Dr. Ramsey ?" another one asked. "I don't know, they spent two whole days alone in Miami, who knows what they were upto." the first one replied. "You know, I think you are right. Dr. Olsen told me that she wasn't even half smart and intelligent as he was and yet she is leading the competition. It's very clear Ramsey favours her." a third joined in. "Whatever it is, I don't know what he sees in her. I could be standing her naked waiting for him to fuck me, but he wouldn't budge." with this the group of nurses started giggling and moved towards the atrium their back towards Ethan. After this encounter he couldn't risk being found close to her. It's her career that was at stake. Something that he priced over his own feelings for her. Dejected, he made his way back towards his office, locking the door behind him and immersing himself in paperwork.

Thank you so much if you have read till here, it means the world to me. I will put up the second part as soon as possible, till then sending love and hugs your way! 💖

Tagging : @starrystarrytrouble @mm2305 @charisworld @choicesfanaf @potionsprefect @genevievemd

+@choicesbookclub   

Let me know if you want to be added or removed. 💜

Part 2 is up now! Read it here

#oph book club #choices #choices : stories you play #open heart #open heart 1 #open heart fanfiction #open heart fandom #open heart fanfic #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #ethan x meera #pixelberry #fanfic #fanfiction #angst #canon divergent fic #headcanon #hc #open heart replay #open heart hc #open heart head cannon

[ccelinewritess]

the distance between us

pairing- draco malfoy x reader

word count- 9.7k

summary- the first time draco uses the muggle post system, it goes so terribly wrong, and a letter falls into the hands of a girl who was never supposed to see it, a muggle at that.

warnings- curse words, ptsd, anxiety/ panic attacks, depression mention of death, murder, blood and burns aswell as insomia, seperation anxiety (?) and my grammar.if these may trigger you, i suggested not reading.

a/n- this took me a while to get out, sry abt that. the reader was set to live in a canadian town called kelowna, british columbia. it takes place in readers grade 11/12 and dracos 6/7 year. i hope it’s not to self inserted, and you guys can enjoy and relate to it. big thank you to @dracodear for the help on this, love you! also thanks to everyone who left owl name suggestions, all were awesome and i ended up going with @winnsmills suggestion ‘noctua’ ! tumblrs been acting weird, so i hope it lets me post the whole thing. letters are in italics. also please note, this is off the movies timeline! i tried to fit in as many details as possible but some didn’t make it.

-

the town was widespread. wineries and mountains everywhere, the okanagan lake splitting it down the middle, reconnecting the cities halves by a bridge. little snow and tons of rain. jeep wranglers in every colour roaring around into unholy hours of the night, bustling with life yet all to lonely at times. but hey, that’s kelowna for you.

rain was running down the windows of y/ns most boring class, last period biology. she knew she should be paying attention. she had a high gpa to maintain, and couldn’t afford to fail another class besides french. the last five minutes of blabbering ended after what felt like a year.

‘you are dismissed, ill see you all monday, have a good weekend’ and with that everyone rose, heading to the parking lot as fast as possible in an attemp to dodge traffic. despite pouring rain, the air was hot, and on the ride home y/ns mind raced over every single assignment she had to complete over the next two days, while her hands tapped the steering wheel.��

‘english essay, math review, history paper, business management graph’ she muttered under her breath. the town was busy, many students often blew off class to go shopping, or hit a movie, or smoke weed, the possibilities were endless. her house was cool compared to outside, and empty. no one was home, not that it was a surprise to the girl, people weren’t usually home, siblings gone to university, and parents working absurd amounts.

something caught her eye on the counter, an envelope, an ordinary seeming one, but absolutely covered in small pictured stamps with ‘england’ underneath each one. eighteen of them, all different. she knew shouldn’t open it, so she didn’t. at first. but it was irresistible. there was a return address written in the smallest writing she’d ever seen. wogshell, no, wiltshire? she took it to her room, and locked the door before ripping it open. she didn’t want the one time she had something intresting going on to be interrupted by whoever might show up.

her mouth fell open at every line of the same scroll. who was snape? why was this draco boy sending him a letter? he didn’t need his help to kill who? what the fuck was an unbreakable vow and why shouldn’t snape sign it? why was his mum going to see snape? who was the dark lord and why did he pick draco for a task? what kind of name is dumbledore?

what she already knew was confirmed- this letter was most definetly not for her. but newly- she opened a letter from a potential murderer or maybe it was a prank, a sick prank if it was one.

so instead she crafted up quite the response, whoever wrote this was either hysterical or in distress, and needed some sort of company- she thought, atleast.

-

it had been thirteen days, why wasn’t the letter back yet? the owl still couldn’t fly even about the house without damaging itself further. maybe using the muggle post system was a mistake. but better have it land into the hands of a muggle, who would likely throw it out, than a wizard who would know a death eater would soon be wondering around hogwarts.

as if on que, the door bell rang and echoed through the empty manor. on the porch sat an envelope, with only one stamp, his name in the middle and another he didn’t recognize in the corner. shit, this couldn’t be good. his eye caught the stamp. canada? fuck, this was supposed to go to cokeworth not bloody canada. no one was home so he opened it right there in the foyer.

hello, draco.

i am not snape- nor do i know who snape is. i am also very unfimilar with some of the vocabulary you used. dark lord? unbreakable vow? you seem to have quite the situation going on, if i read correctly. im not exactly stupid, but i do know that this letter was most definitely not supposed to be in my possession. i didn’t know who to send it to, id send it back to you, but you probably don’t want a copy of your own letter. i also know you likely have enough on your plate, but if you’d like someone to talk to im only half a world away, have no sort of schedule and am a good listener, well reader in this case. good luck with whatever task you’ve mentioned. p.s. you had about seventeen stamps to many, first time sending a letter? unfortunate fate, huh ? what kind of name is snape and what the heck is a dumbledore? i suppose it’s none of my business, knowing you likely won’t respond, but if you do i wrote my address on the front. have a good day/ night/ whatever time it is wherever you are.

y/n l/n

tears were welling in dracos eyes, he was floored, in a good and bad way. his task was already going downhill. the letter he sent snape had fallen into the hands of a muggle, who did not throw the letter away, but responded. and snape was likely going to bine himself into the task through the unbreakable vow, which draco was more than able to complete. he wouldn’t have been chosen if he wasn’t, right?

not only had she responded, she offered him help, well distant company, to a stranger who obviously had quite a few problems and she clearly had no regard for her own safety. he couldn’t tell her about the wizarding world. not that he could tell her about anything, she could be lying. he had a task to focus on, he couldn’t write her back.

and that was true- at the time. he had no intent of writing the girl back. and yet he found himself reading the 201 words over and over, running his hands across the paper, expecting them to fade away as he wiped. counting and recounting. he surely couldn’t talk to any of the twats at hogwarts, maybe a stranger could help numb the pain. and as long as he didn’t tell anyone- she couldn’t get hurt, she was to far.

draco was packed for hogwarts, the response at the bottom of the trunk, underneath his clothes. he’d just have to get to the damn school, then he could write all he wanted- without his parents knowledge or ridicule. his mind jumbled together what he was going to say while his friends rambled on. the train pulled up to the castle after dreadful hours and he could barely sit still during the opening feast. his thoughts did falter though, when dumbledore gave his speech, he felt guilty- the shame of his family weighing on his shoulders. he looked around, all his classmates staring in adoration at a man who would be dead ten months from now, and they were sitting in the same room as his killer.

the singular room was nice, he knew it wasn’t for lounge, but for plots of death.

before he began he started making promises to himself. if i get behind on the plan ill won’t write, if snape notices anything about it, ill stop. the list went on and on.

he couldn’t put his pen down, the words continued to fly out the end, was he oversharing?

dear y/n

my deepest apologies that my last letter found it’s way to you. im sure you didn’t expect whatever you may have perceived from it. honestly, i don’t know how it arrived all the way over there. im almost positive you have better things to do than listen to my problems, and i know you had no control over the fact it arrived, but i ask you to please not share this information with anyone. i am unsure if i will take up your offer of amity, if you were serious that is. im at school now, so if you’d like to respond, not that you have to- you can send letters back with my owl, it’ll be faster (and i won’t have to worry about stamps- thanks for the tip by the way)

draco malfoy 

and with that noctua was off into the night, and he could only hope that it would make it to her.

-

droll was running down y/ns chin and she was caught in a dream. suddenly a vigorous tapping on the window pulled her into consciousness, the sight of owl knocking her backwards in a scare. a crash sounded, if the tapping didn’t wake anyone up, that surely did. she almost considered just trying to ignore it, until she noticed a letter tied to its neck and reluctantly opened the window. she’d never seen an owl in real life before, but was aware from school that they weren’t exactly the kindest of creatures. this one just perched on the window while she removed the new enevelope, no stamps in sight. just a neatly printed address, and his in the corner.

from the new letter she learned even more- this wasn’t a prank, draco was a real person, was still in school, and whatever the first misplaced letter contained was true. he had some sort of task and didnt want help, but that was all. so with what she could, she wrote another response. it took an hour and she wasn’t exactly sure what she had written by mid morning.

draco

you’d be quite suprised actually, it gets lonely over here. i still haven’t exactly deciphered your original note, so if you would like to help me understand i think i’d be ready. and no worries about me, my lips are sealed. what is an unbreakable vow, im curious? you go to boarding school? and owls, really? what the hell is up with that? im pretty sure it’s illegal to own one here, but we are countries away, so perhaps it’s different all the way over there. send whatever you want. i do not- by the way- have anything better to do in the slightest.

y/n

-

he continued to write throughout the month of september, which bled into october before he knew it. he was avoiding questions about the task, just wanting someone to talk to. it wasn’t easy, she was curious, which draco couldn’t exactly be mad at her for that since he continued to write her, accepting the distant friendship that was forming.

he was learning a lot about her aswell. besides french, which he informed her he spoke fluently numerous times, she was a very good student. she was single, he didn’t remember how that came up but made a note in his mind- he couldn’t date her, nor did he know enough about her to be properly involved.

she read a lot of books, sappy romances mostly, couldn’t cook anything deemed edible by anyone, and her favourite colour was green, he smirked when reading that for the first time. she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her future, just not a doctor like her parents wanted.

-

y/n was sitting in english as her teacher reviewed about univeristy application requirements. only next year they would be getting accepted and denied from their dream schools. she’d spent years dreaming of it, university, and yet somehow a boy half way around the was racing through her mind. she felt horrible about it, the small crush. it was incredibly selfish, falling for a boy with so much going on, he certainly didn’t need her as anything more than a friend to talk to, but he was good with his words, and making her feel important too. her dismissal came and so did a classmate, approaching confident and cocky.

‘hey, l/n’ he said, a smirk on his face

‘oh, uh hey, will’

‘what are doing tonight?’ her mind went blank, any excuse, come on, say something

‘i have plans’ wow real specific, great job, y/n

‘like what’

‘fish funeral, real important stuff, my family is just devastated’ her voice was clearly sarcastic and that was all before she walked right out. no she didn’t exactly have plans, but waiting for dracos owl provided much more company than any date could have. the sight of dracos owl flying towards the pre-opened window was somewhat relieving, she didn’t know why, just the fact that he had not failed yet, and was still out there was nice. she hadn’t had this much company. since last year at least, when her supposed best friend started ghosting her because of some petty shit.

thankfully noctua ad gotten quite good at being discreet when delivering the letters. of all the things on y/ns junior year bucket list, explaining to her parents that she had befriended a british boy with an owl who flyed into her room while her neighbours had a clear view, wasn’t one. she also began keeping a bowl of water under her bed for the owl to drink when it arrived, knowing it couldn’t have been easy travelling back and forth.

y/n

im not fully sure you want to know the depth, yet you seem to want me to corrupt you with my villain with a task baggage. i suppose it couldn’t hurt if i told you about the unbreakable vow. it’s like a promise or a bond, but if you break it then you die. if you can stomach that i may be able to tell you more. how far away do you reckon we are?

draco

-

draco wasn’t falling behind too far, but his first attemp had failed, and panic attacks were taking up most his time. he never had any, at least not this bad until this year. at least once a day he would start sweating, no matter how cold he was, unable to control his breathing or tears, feeling like the walls were caving in upon him.

that is, besides writing y/n as much as he could. apparently she was being honest, she had no schedule of any sort besides going to school. he hated to say, but he was becoming attached, he didn’t exactly know how either, but everytime he recieved a letter a small weight was lifted from his shoulders, even just when he read it.

noctua was doing the weekly, almost daily round at breakfast with the other owls and draco watched with anticipation as a letter dropped on his lap and owl on his shoulder. he tried to conceal the letter into his robes but pansy had taken matters into her own hands. likely jealous that she’d spent collectively around six hours with him the whole year, and he never talked to her like he used to.

‘ou draco whats this’ twirling the envelope between her hands. the letter had no name, no stamp, only a small heart drawing in the corner.

‘hands off parkinson’ he said while taking the letter back. ‘a letter from my mother, if you must know’ he said knowing that neither his mother or father had written him anything, despite having all the time to do so.

he got up and left the second he was done, not wanting to draw snapes suspicion about who could possibly be more important than working on this task.

he rushed to his room, desperate for more of her words. he tried to picture her voice in his head, but had to remind himself she wasn’t british nor was she from southern america.

draco,

so you just die if you break the promise? intresting. it’s not as hard to stomach as you seem to think, very unique tradition i suppose. you are not a villain draco, you haven’t told me much about it but your to good of a person to have picked any of this for yourself. i calculated when we you were home, seven thousand three hundred something, i don’t know where your fancy boarding school where you have owls for pets is, so it may be further. im ready whenever you are.

y/n

her letter was relieving for him aswell, even in the slightest it helped, but she deserved some sort of answer for helping him take his mind off the task for a couple minutes. he could tell if she wasn’t scared off already, this would do it.

y/n

if you are sure, here it is. dumbledore is my headmaster, the dark lord is a very powerful wizard, and snape is my professor. if i don’t kill dumbledore before july, he will kill me and my family, if i can’t complete the task, snape will kill him under terms of an unbreakable vow. im not a very good villain that’s for sure, my first attemp failed, and my classmate is out cold. i understand if you dont want to write to me anymore, just don’t tell anyone about this, please.

dm.

-

the only words to describe the feeling that overwhelmed her senses as she read were devastation and shock. tears pooled in her eyes as she tried to imagine herself with that much responsibility to wildhold until july. another detail that caught her eye, wizard? what did he mean by wizard? is that the word for dictator in england? certainly he wasn’t talking about the wizards she read about in storybooks as a child. her hand shook slightly and she debated mentioning it.

draco

you’re silly if you think i’d stop writing you. you need company now more than ever. please don’t hold things back from your letters, you deserve someone to talk to. that is quite the situation, im sorry if i pushed you, you do have enough on your shoulders and i want to help you as much as i can. i hate to ask, but you mentioned ‘wizards’ and i am a bit confused.

all my love

yn

-

initially, draco went into shock. he knew he was probably oversharing, but didn’t expect to slip up in that way. he begrudgingly admitted; knowing that if this went badly he would likely be banished from the wizarding world, which didn’t seem like such a horrible punishment to him anymore. and yet she was fascinated, by the coins he sent her, the subjects he learned- which she compared to her own much less exciting ones, and everything he told her about it. he could now talk to her about much more, since both his secrets were now out in the open to her. he told her about the about the houses, and they both agreed she would probably be in hufflepuff, well he thought so, her kind and accepting nature, and she didn’t know enough to disagree. and for the first time in the long time he was seeing things differently, completely diminishing the rude behaviour he often displayed towards the house.

she even sent him a picture, the first time he ever saw her face. a large smile spread across her beautiful features, she seemed to be laughing. eyes glistening in the sun even prettier than he could have imagined. he slept with it under his pillow, and could stare at the still image for hours. no it didn’t move around, but he couldnt care less. he only had one picture of himself in his possession and he was young, about four. she was facinated by the moving image, his blonde hair and attitude shining right through. he would owl his mother for a more recent one, but didn’t want to explain why.

the letters were helping him, but the task wasn’t advancing. his second attempt had failed, he was caught sneaking into slughorns party, and harry was onto him. they were also causing him doubt. say they did get the cabinet fixed, he couldn’t see himself killing dumbledore anymore, the more he talked to her he realized he couldn’t be a killer, as cold as he was to some people, but he had to, didnt he?

most importantly every letter she sent gave him a sense of hope. that the second this is over he could move. away from voldemort, and potter, his parents even, england in whole. perhaps not to canada, but it could be a change, half way across the world with the girl who was helping him stay alive through his letters. he just needed to stay alive long enough too see her.

the seasons changed around draco, but his room stayed the same. hot from mysterious potions, for himself and some for dumbledore, he had not had much hope after the wine, though. it was lonely, not that he’d like y/n here, he’d much rather be there, all the way across the world.

-

may came in a blur, and finals were creeping up. one week y/n sat at her desk, every night, waiting for a letter that didn’t come. on the fifth letterless day she cried. not exactly knowing why, it wasn’t her that had much of a reason to cry, but dracos company had filled her lonely life up with light of its own, leaving it darker than it was before she saw the first letter. she was silly to be so attached and silly to expect him to reciprocate the feelings she had proclaimed in the last one she sent, and should have expected him to stop eventually. so she continued on with school, finding it a bit easier to concentrate now that a draco sized whole was missing from her brain, and her heart aswell.

the next week, though, a letter came, very appreciated by y/n as the whole other universe, british boy forgetting thing wasn’t as easy as it seemed.

y/n

im sorry for not writing, the classmate i mentioned all those months ago woke from the curse, and the potter twat hexed me with a spell id never heard of before. i would have tried to contact with you but i couldn’t exactly trust what my brain was planning on writing, and the cuts are still a bit sore. the cabinets fixed, but even if everything works out okay i won’t be writing very much at all. i’ll be home in july, but the manor will be infested with death eaters and i can’t let you get hurt. thank you for everything l/n.

draco

it stung a little, knowing that the empty feeling the girl just experienced would be more frequent, he didn’t mention anything about what she had said, and that this could be the last time she ever heard from him if he didn’t kill dumbledore. in hindsight, practically telling her she loved him in a letter wasn’t what he needed, she knew that.

-

he left out the fact that he the spell put a him in a huge emotinal draught. he was exhausted constantly, crying even more than before. the cuts were sore, so he wasn’t holding everything back.

the last month of school came and went all to fast for dracos liking, and death eaters now roamed around the castle, causing havoc where ever they could. his trunk had been shurken so small it looked like a small muggle toy he put into his pocket easily. the dark mark that was stretched across his left arm was now hanging in the gray sky, and the headmaster was no where to be seen. he paced anxiously around a vacant corridor until he heard a pop in the astronomy tower. he didn’t think people could apparate into hogwarts, it would have made his job much easier.

‘harry, get snape, i need snape now’ he seemed exhausted, maybe this wouldn’t be as hard

‘sir im going to sit you down okay, and then ill go get madam pomf-‘

‘severus, harry, I need severus now, go get him and talk to no one else’ he said in a shallow yet somewhat urgent and angry tone.

draco waited for footsteps to disappear, before whipping the door open with his wand already ready.

‘oh hello, draco, nice to see you on this fine evening’ he said nonchalantly, leaning his weight against the wall.

‘EXPELLIARMUS’ draco boomed, successfully disarming the man without counter attempts before glancing around to see a second broom

‘who else is here?’ he said sounding confident but feeling the opposite

‘i could ask you the same question, acting alone are you? you don’t seem supported’

‘no, there are death eaters in your school tonight, and i got them here’ he snarked ‘they’ll be up, any minute now, their fighting down below. i’ve got a job to do’

‘well done boy, if you don’t mind me asking a few questions, before you get on with it, im very intrested’ was he kidding? he knew draco was about to kill him right? wanting to stall, and not fully wanting to kill him he nodded his head yes.

‘you seem scared to act until they join you

‘im not scared, you should be scared’ he snarled, unable to contain the fear in his voice any longer any longer

‘oh draco’ he sighed ‘while we wait for your friends arrive, care to explain how you smuggled them in here? i never imagined it possible, especially not by a student’

‘i had to mend the broken cabinet that no ones used for years, there’s another one in borgin and burkes. montague got stuck in told everyone stories about it, how he could sometimes hear what was going on in the shop and sometimes hear hogwarts like a passage, and i was the only one who discovered what it meant. not even borgin, not you either, i did it right under your nose, you didn’t realize anything’ he said

‘you are right, i didn’t know that. i do- on the other hand, know that you aren’t a killer’

he raised his wand a little higher, feeling wheezy and as though his legs would give in any second

‘how you know that, I’ve done despicable things, you wouldn’t even be able to fathom’

it was dumbledore’s time to pause, glancing up at the sky and looking around the room before continuing

‘draco i know you almost killed katie bell and ron weasley. you’ve been trying to kill me all year, forgive me for saying this, but they’ve been very feeble attempts. to be honest ive wondered wheather your heart has truly been in it’

‘it has, and if you knew why didnt you stop me’

‘snape has been watching over you on my orders’

‘ it’s not on your orders, he promised my mother-‘

‘ofcourse he would tell you that, but it happens to be that i trust professor snape’

‘your losing it then, he’s a double agent, he isn’t working for you- he’s been trying to get in on the action all year, helping me and all. doesn’t matter now- he probably doesn’t even know they are here yet, he will wake up tomorrow and no longer be the dark lords favourite, he will be nothing compare to me’ confidence was building within him

‘very gratifying, we all like being recognized for our hard work, but, draco?im standing here wandless and weak, unable to defend myself, and you have not made any move to kill me, dont blame me for believing you will not, but let’s discuss your options’

‘my options’ he laughed ‘im standing here with a wand, about to kill you’

‘oh dear boy, if you were going to kill me you would have when you disarmed me, not stayed for a little chat’

‘i haven’t got any options, don’t you understand, i have to kill you, or he will kill me’

‘okay, if you don’t want to join the order with your mother where we could protect you, i only have one more question’

‘better hurry, theyre on their way’ he almost laughed which was quickly replaced when Dumbledore said his next words.

‘who is y/n l/n’ at that a tear fell down dracos face, and he lowered his wand almost completely

‘i-i don’t know who that is, odd l-last words’ he stuttered

‘draco dont play dumb now, not after we discovered you are very intelligent. we left some of the security measures from last year that Umbridge enabled, and I couldn’t help but notice hundreds of letters flowing to and from her. i looked into student files, ilvermornies too, nothing, id never heard the name, a muggle i presumed. but of all the things, that had me the most confused. i couldn’t figure out why you would be contacting her, so i did some meddling’

‘WHAT DID YOU DO’

‘fiesty all the sudden, are you? i felt bad after opening this, it seemed very personal, and i probably should given it too you sooner, but i was a bit preoccupied double checking my drinks and all’ dumbledore said handing him the letter.

draco

how is the cabinet coming? it’s raining even more here than usual, all day and night. and don’t talk like that, saying you don’t have a future. you do draco, you deserve another chance and infinite amounts of them. you are just a kid, you shouldn’t be forced to be a hero. you are protecting so many people right now, but i don’t need any. you have given my life enough light in the last few months than i ever recall, and im so thankful that letter came to me. i wish you were here with me right now, but i know you can’t be, so just stay alive, okay?

y/n

more tears fell, he hated being so weak at the mention of her, crying before he completed the blessing his father and bellatrix considered the task to be.

‘she’s right, draco, you deserve another chance’

he was speechless, and could tell Dumbledore knew he found his weakness.

‘i always pictured you and pansy, never in a million years imagined you to be in a relationship with a muggle’

‘no matter who does it, your about to be killed, and im not here to discuss my love life am i?’

‘so you do love her?’ before draco could even think he heard a door open and raised his wand, hiding the letter faster than he had ever moved.

‘shut up, they will kill her’ he said quietly and desperately

in walked fenrir greyback, yaxley, and bellatrix. they made banter of their own, but her words replayed. he couldn’t do it.

‘go on draco’ his aunt whispered into his ear, making him shiver.

‘DO IT, DO IT BOY’ she yelled, in a high pitched and annoying voice

he felt a strong arm over his chest, pushing him aside, and he saw the whoosh of snapes robes and an already pleading dumbledore

‘severus, please’

‘AVADA KEDAVRA’ snape shouted, a green flash producing from the end of his wand, hitting the old man square in the chest. draco rushed over to the edge, watching him fall. it was a long way down.

-

the rain had sudsided, sunlight leaking into her room during the day. watching the sky at night, failing to find constellations he described many times to her. her wardrobe was mostly untouched, remaining in pyjamas most of the week. the odd time she did leave, she saw her old friends walking and laughing out her car window. eating and socializing felt like a chore, and she hadn’t communicated with the boy since may. he could be dead, she didn’t know. there was no death on the ‘muggle’ news, and draco wasn’t on the top wanted list, not that he likely would be on the television all the way over here. he could be fine, in wiltshire, going to dinner parties and holding balls. or maybe, he too, was sitting in his room staring at the ceiling for days on end. she had now hung the picture of a young draco by her desk, not needing to worry about anyone seeing. her siblings were once again home, but out living their lives so much that it still felt like they were gone. for the first time she noticed his scroll on the back.

‘i was four when this was taken i believe, my hair is very similar, i was quite sassy, im sure that shows without explanation.’ she blushed while reading, it was true. his hands were on his hips whipping his head around.

-

every day was a surprise around malfoy manor. not the kind of surprise draco liked. not the feeling of butterflies in his stomach when he read y/ns letters, those were replaced by a pit as they were summoned around the large table in the dining room. the first one he attended was horrible, watching his muggle studies teacher being hung above their heads, pleading for the help of severus as she died. he bit his tongue in an attempt to avoid raging about about every comment surrounding muggle culture. each one tore his heart, as he imagined the girl all those kilometres away, the girl he had no contact with, but he looked at her picture as much as possible, and hoped one day he could make her smile again like she did in the image.

-

senior year was here, and y/n schedule picked up once again. her timetable was full, maybe it was best, a distraction, after a whole summer of thinking alone in her room. draco was on her mind at night, no matter how hard she tried to forget. she’d made friends with her creative promotions partner, logan. he was certainly not intrested in her in anyway besides friends, but company after all this time was enjoyable, just in the hour of class

-

draco had little privacy, with death eaters in every hallway, conversing with eachother. wherever he went someone was there, until he finally got sick of it and began going to the garden bench. with a book, sometimes, giving some of the sappy love stories y/n mentioned a try or even the poetry books she sent with noctua awhile back, they were okay, but his heart hurt at the feeling of relation in every line. he could only read one or two poems at a time, without tears forming in his green orbs.

sometimes he went with a pen and a notebook. he wrote about everything. the smell of the plants around him, the feeling in his chest when the dark lord called for a meeting. most of the notebook, though, was filled with poems of his own. and letters he had no intention of sending for her own safety. she wasn’t in harms way, though, other followers were preoccupied with ruining weddings and other things they considered fun. he blabbered on for pages, about how he missed seeing noctua fluttering towards him at breakfast. how he rereads the letter that dumbledore gave him the night he died. how she listened to him rant on and on, giving her support no matter how evil he felt. how he found love where it wasn’t supposed to be.

snow was falling once again, he had to dress in layers, making it hard to write often, the plants started dying as cold settled over and his mother no longer babied him like she used to before the death eaters began inhabiting the mansion. he couldn’t keep himself company any longer and gave into the pressure he put on himself. as long as they were careful, she’d be in no destruction- he prayed as he wrote what seemed to be an appropriate response after all this time.

-

like it had been decades, she flinched at the noise of the owl on the window, carrying a much larger scroll that he’d ever sent before, some parts scratched out and written above. his writing was much less tidy than she remembered, like the letters on the page were anxious for her reaction.

love,

after all this time, im sorry you are just now hearing from me. you have ever single right to be annoyed with me, after you listened to me for months, helping me emotionally in ways i never be able to repay you for. you do not need to forgive me, or write me back. i just wanted to keep you safe. but i needed to tell you everything before it might actually be to late. you’ve probably moved on and forgotten about me, like you should, but i guess im saying that i am alive. i didn’t kill him either. snape did. i thought i was going to be able to, but he started talking about you. he gave me a letter from you that he had already opened, the words repeated in my head over and over. you talked about how i deserved another chance, and how you wish I’d was there with you. right before he died he asked me if i loved you. i knew the answer but didn’t have time to say it. ive read your poetry books, they aren’t as bad as i once thought, i can’t read to many at once. i try to forget what dumbledore said that night, and that night altogether. but one day i read ‘that’s how you know you love someone, i guess. when you cant experience anything without wishing the other person was there to see it too.’ when i sit in the garden i imagine you smelling the flowers, myself picking one and putting it behind your ear. when i go on walks i imagine your hand in mine. youre in my dreams. my never ending thought. i remember the way i felt when we started talking a lot, and how I felt when we didn’t get a chance. you listened to me when no one else offered. not even my parents. i hope your doing okay, and smiling and laughing. i don’t care if we talk about absolutely nothing, i just want to talk to you. i know that’s unfair to you after all ive weighed on you. but i guess that’s all, i love you. draco ♡

well this certainly didn’t get him off her mind. she didn’t need to either. ofcourse she was going to write him back, but she needed time to think about her response. she missed the next day of school, and his owl was comfortably standing on her desk, nibbling away at the water and crumbs. she took an hour long shower, multiple naps, raided her fridge, and had to email the school pretending to be her mum, excusing her for the day. before she even knew what she was going to write, she began on a new piece of paper. she’d have thought longer, but was sure draco would be convinced she stole noctua out of anger.

draco,

wow. i don’t really know what to say. i knew you weren’t a killer, and i meant what i said about you deserving more chances. i will admit i was angry, and a bit confused. i sent that letter with high hopes. i don’t know what i was hoping for at the time, i was being incredibly selfish. but couldn’t help myself feel pained when you didn’t mention it in the next letter when you said harry hexed you. i know we can’t be together, especially not right now, but i love you too. i wish more than anything you were here with me right now, and it was you i’d be graduating with half a year from now. i wish you were in the passenger seat of my car while i drive through the city. i wish you could point out the constellations in the sky. i usually can’t read to many poems either, they get me thinking to much. im ready to write again if you are.

y/n

-

draco hadn’t felt more joy in a long time. around seven months. she loved him, and that was enough happiness for a life time. he just needed to stay alive.

they continued to stay in touch, almost as if they never stopped talking, entertaining eachother as much as possible, masking their separate misery and the distance between them. he could get time away from the reality that was his life for a while, he thought, until snatchers brought the trio he spent so long bickering with to the manor.

a very distorted looking harry fell before him, his hair tightly gripped by bellatrix.

‘well, is it him’ he knew it was harry. and yet a part of him couldn’t bring himself to letting the boy get killed.

‘i can’t be sure’ he lied

‘draco, look closely son’ lucius said loudly, getting a grip on the back of dracos neck before leaning in and whispering.

‘if we are the ones that hand potter to the dark lord, all will be f-forgiven. a-all will go back to how it was’

his father and the and a snatcher quickly got into an arguement. lucius was yelling something about the manor before narcissa calmed him with a hiss.

‘don’t be shy, sweetie come here take a closer look’

draco was know level with him. the scar was still visible on his forehead, and swollen eyes staring back at him, hopeless.

‘what’s wrong with his face’ draco said

‘yes what is wrong with the boys face’ a shrill voice repeated

‘he was like that when we got him, something he picked up in the forest i reckon’

bellatrix walked away, laughing away at something. the blonde boys eyes were still on harry, before he felt a tap on his shoulder. bellatrix began acting out, yelling about a sword, putting ropes around snatchers neck from the end of her wand. sword now in her hand she walked over to ronald weasley, grabbing his collar and demanding that the boys be put in the cellar.

a different draco would have gladly watched a mudblood be tortured by his aunt. but he flinched at every scream of hermione, unable to watch he went to the next room, resisting tears as he thought of the girl he fell for enduring the same. she had moved onto the goblin- ridiculing it about who got into her vault- and hermiones screams were now gone.

‘youre lucky, goblin, the same won’t go for this one’ he heard footsteps

‘like hell it wont’ he heard ron yell, followed by the expelliarmus and what must have been harry stupefying his father. draco rushed in, now dueling a more normal looking harry, until their attention caught on bellatrix, a knife to grangers throat. they dropped there wands, and he did as instructed, picking them up. lucius was summoning the dark lord when they heard a tittering on the ceiling, and the chandlier crashing. it all moved so fast and harry was now wrestling draco for his wand back. he tried, but harry had already pried it out of his cold and shaky hands.

‘STUPID ELF. THAT COULD HAVE KILLED ME’

‘dobby never meant to kill. dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure’ the house elf squeaked, and draco had never resisted a chuckle so hard.

‘HOW DARE YOU TAKE A WITCHES WAND. HOW DARE YOU DEFY YOUR MASTERS’

‘dobby has no master, dobby is a free elf, and he has come to save Harry Potter and his friends.’ and with that they apparated out, not without bella throwing a knife into the mix.

-

meanwhile, y/n was receiving letters of her own. not from draco either. letters from the schools she applied to. so far everything was good, except for princeton, but she didn’t have the highest expectations. she was accepted to the university of british columbia, seattle university, even ucla. she only had one letter left, and the large stuffed yellow envelope sat in her hands. she wasn’t sure about it- would she even be able to go to the univeristy of london? it was far, but draco was there, well closer to there atleast. accepted- it read. it was an option, and she still had weeks to think about it.

-

draco was very hesitant to write after the incident at the manor, the screams of Hermione, and the terrifying looking potter still vivid in his brain and nightmares. he often woke from sleep in a sweat, yet freezing cold. whispers of the war around his house also haunted his mind and soul. he’d walk to the window and look up at the the stars, they were under the same sky, at least. eventually he had to write her, it had been half a month and he couldn’t leave her hanging alone again.

y/n

love, im sorry for being hesitant, but there is going to be a war. i hate to leave you contact-less, but i need you to be safe now more than ever. i couldn’t live with myself if you got hurt. potter and his friends were brought here to the manor, it didn’t last long- they escaped within the hour and a half. with that doped elf, and a goblin too. if you don’t hear from me again, remember i love you. and always will.

draco

of all the letters y/n had recieved, from draco in all, that was probably the most displeasing. a war? like with tanks and bombs? tears were shedding down her face as she wrote the shortest response yet. knowing he most definitely didn’t have time to listen to her talk about schools, and how she got accepted to london, but her parents deemed it to far, ubc would have to do, she’d find her way to him eventually, if they were meant to be.

draco

stay safe, i love you.

yn.

-

draco now stood at snapes new office, dozens of corpses on the floor, pooled in blood. the dark lord speaking parsel tounge to nagini. no one needed to speak it to know that the man was infuriated about something potter had done.

-

the information he left was lacking, was he serious? what did wizarding wars even look like? her graduation date was set, June 6th, but it all seemed irrelevant, suddenly picking out a dress didn’t seem as fun as she thought, same with getting portraits taken. should she have said more?

-

next thing he knew the protection spell was countered and he apparated in, grabbing zabani and goyle by the collar. rushing them into a corridor and waited for the door of the room of requirement to completely vanish before approaching himself. they successfully found harry, opening a box carefully before finally drawing attention to themselves.

‘well well, what brings you here, potter’ draco said, softly, much to his surprise as he meant it to sound snarky and rude

‘i could ask you the same’

‘i believe you have something of mine, and id like it back’ was he becoming… kind?

‘whats wrong with the one you have?’ harry replied

‘it’s my mothers, powerful but different, doesn’t fully understand me, im sure you know the feeling’

‘why didn’t you tell her. bellatrix? you knew it was me, and you didn’t tell her’ he wasn’t exactly sure what to say, nor did he know. harry really didn’t have anything to do with his feelings for y/n, maybe he should have just turned in him when he had the chance, it would all be over if he had.

‘don’t be a wuss draco, just do it now’ goyle whispered in his ear, making him chill the same way bellatrix did on the astronomy tower, almost a year ago.

‘expelliarmus’ hermione half shouted, causing narcissas want to fly out of dracos hands and run the other way.

‘avada kedavra’ goyle missed and weaslebee started chasing after them, yelling something about his girlfriend. turning back around after goyle unsuccessfully casted the fiendfyre curse.

fear was making his body almost rattle as he desperately climbed bookcases in an attemp to outrun the flames. he watched goyle fall, into the orange. yes, he was a complete and utter twat, but wasn’t a half bad friend during dracos bullying peek. his foot slipped, now just his hands were keeping him up, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold on. in the distance he saw the three, zooming off to safety in the distance, leaving them their to die. not that he blamed them, after anything he did to them, he would have probably left himself there aswell.

but potter was flying towards him, arm out-stretched, grabbing onto his own and hoisting himself on the broom. had he already died? must not have, because the heat had finally caughten up. feeling as though he was going to pass out, he gripped tighter onto harry, maintaining his position on the broom. so much for staying safe. the second they made it out, they crashed onto the ground. he wanted to thank harry, but found himself running off instead.

explosions and hexes were being sent everywhere. people dying left and right. giants and trolls and spiders helping, he found himself in the slytherin common room. partially because he wanted to say goodbye, as he never wished to return to the building again once he had the choice. and partially as he was now aware of a large burn on his arm, and he felt a need to put off fighting until absolutely necessary. he entered through the portrait, for the last time. it felt like an aquarium, looking out upon the lake filled windows, merpeople and the giant squid often zooming by. he sat down upon the sofa, where he spent countless hours avoiding homework, plotting against potter and swimming in lust of his pure-blood status that now felt like a curse. he went up to his dorm, where he did very similar things. he wondered as to what he would be doing if he was a muggle right now. picking out a suit for graduation, buying a corsage for his date, but he wasn’t, so he best get going. running his hands along the furniture before leaving, not looking back.

the noise in the entrance courtyard had completely been diminished and draco found his way into the crowd of students pooling in. death eaters swarmed towards them at a painfully slow place, his mother and father near the head of the group. he noticed hagrid, towering above them, carrying what could only have been harrys corpse.

he watched carefully as they approached, trying to wedge himself inbetween and behind other students.

‘harry potter is dead’ voldemort paused ‘from now on, you put your faith in me’ silence fell over the hundreds of people who were know gathered. he swished his robes and turned backwards facing his followers

‘HARRY POTTER IS DEAD’ obnoxious and deafening cackles erupted

‘and now is the time to declare yourselves. come to our side, or die’ even more silence fell.

‘draco’ his father hissed before repeating ‘draco’

he felt eyes fall all over him, gazing expectantly. tears ran down his face.

don’t talk like that, saying you don’t have a future. you do draco, you deserve another chance and infinite amounts of them. was this what she meant? he’d been looking for another chance, maybe this was it.

he shook his head no, and noticed his father had fallen a shade of pale he didn’t know existed.

‘Draco, DRACO’ he yelled, clearly enranged, but before he could continue - a movement shifted in hagrids arms, and harry fell out. in a heartbeat draco threw his wand to the scar faced boy. he caught it, looking grateful as he could while casting some sort of spell at nagini. death eaters were disappearing into the air- including lucius, narcissa being dragged with him.

draco didn’t know what to do with himself, he was wandless and he couldn’t fight, unless he wanted to engage in an actual physical duel, which he didn’t. he found himself in the great hall, asking professor sprout if she needed help patching those up, she pulled him into a hug, unexpectantly. he never recalled such contact or connection with a professor. he spent the rest of the battle helping healing wounds with dittany, and caring for those left in the wake. it was a nice distraction from the fact he would most definitely be disowned, left a family-less orphan at 17.

-

y/n couldn’t blame him for not writing, he clearly stated that it might be the last time. but every night she cried until she couldn’t cry anymore, or until she fell asleep. how could she like him so much? they’d never even met. she didnt really need to see him to know him, his letters told him enough about him. and she could only hope- that if he managed through his six year without killing his headmaster, he could make it through the war.

-

he delayed going back to the manor for as long as possible, until he decided to apparate directly into his room. he considered packing his things up, but realized no one was home. he was thankful, he don’t think he would ever be able to fully confront his parents again. he fell asleep in his bed, and slept for 48 hours straight. he slept through very vivid dreams, ones of y/n being tortured the same way as Hermione, ones of the dark lord coming alive once again and killing his mother because of his choices. he couldn’t bring himself to sleep again purposefully, no matter how exhausted he was. the days weren’t much better, his mind raced at unbelievable paces. he saw the dead bodies laying around the great hall, the unrecoverable ones. maybe he should have just fallen into the fire, surely that would have been easier. he was slowly becoming thinner, and always needed multiple blankets to even stay at a somewhat warm temperature, his heart beat faster than normal. he often felt pains in his neck, and his eyes were almost always puffy from crying. he spent so much time in bed he almost didn’t hear his owl flutter onto his nightstand mid afternoon, a small package tied loosely around his neck.

he opened it to see a letter, muggle candies and a worn book. suddenly he felt more awake, and be shot up a little to fast then he should have, sitting on the edge of his bed.

draco.

i don’t know where you are, or if youre alive, if youre reading this now. i hope this doesn’t arrive at a bad time. but your 18 now, so happy birthday. if you are seeing this, i still love you. i think about you all the time. i hope you are okay, and safe. in case you don’t end up writing me back, i just thought I’d give you some random information to keep you company and away from your mind. i graduate tomorrow. i look at your picture everyday. I remember what you once told me about following my dreams, so instead of medicine, im going to study literature and business next year. im staying in kelowna aswell for now, hoping maybe you’ll be able to visit someday. im sure you’d like it. my favourite colour is still green. i don’t know what else to say.

always here to listen if you’d like to talk. yn.

was it actually his birthday? had it already been a month since the war? it felt like a year but the visions played over and over like it was yesterday. it took him awhile before it clicked. the war was over, Voldemort was dead and there was no one to stop him from seeing her. he completely disregarded the lightheaded feeling he got when he stood up to fast- and rushed to his wardrobe. it took him a bit longer than he thought to pack up all his clothes, including the thousands of letters he kept hidden in a large drawer. the trunk was a bit heavier than he may have thought, and he ended up needing to take a car, in fear that he may not be able to apparate successfully to the airport without injuring himself. he quickly found out that muggle travelling was harder than he thought, and security and customs were also apparently a thing that all people needed to get through.

he wrapped himself in his cloak and didn’t get a drop of sleep the whole plane ride. it was nighttime when they flew over montreal, and then toronto. the sun rose as they crossed through winnipeg, regina, and calgary. he didn’t know this himself ofcourse, but he aggressively hit the map on the screen in front of him, desperate to know where he was. he only got an hour of half decent sleep before he felt rattling of the plane landing, and he gripped tightly onto the arm rests. he struggled for half an hour before he even got sight of his luggage on the moving thing that went round and round. compared to London, kelownas airport was very small and easy to navigate. the air outside was hot, making draco feel even more self concious about his clothing choices.

-

y/n put her hair back into a twist with a clip taking a suprising amount of effort to make sure it looked okay. her makeup was natural looking, nothing crazy but she looked gorgeous none the less. she slipped into her black romper, some canadians didn’t wear their fancy dresses to convocation, only something simple to go with the cap and gown. she arrived at the ceremony, seeing everyone, with excited smiles and laughs, conversing amongst themselves. and every memory came rushing back. they sat in rows on a stage, listening to the heartfelt and extremely cheesy speech the staff made every single year. she’d never noticed how many kids were in her age group until they were being called up one by one.

‘alex can’

‘ruth lee’

and the list went on and on until finally

‘y/n l/n’ the moment had come, and she shook everyone’s hand, receiving her diploma and flipping her caps tassel to the left. ‘y/n is staying around next year, and attending the university of british columbia okanogan, good luck l/n’ her principal said and claps continued like they had and the rest of the list finished sooner, or seemed to go by faster, she wasn’t sure. 

-

draco had never had to find a taxi by himself, but once he did he gave the driver the only place he knew, the address he saw on the top corner of her first response almost two years ago.

-

y/n pulled away from the school grounds, watching them disappear in her rear view mirror. it was hot with a breeze, but she smiled the whole way home. she’d done it, made it through every assignment and class, dealt with attention hungry bitches, and crappy teachers. the next door was truly opening. pulling up to her house, and closing her car door as she hopped out, she watched her feet carry her up to the house. turning the corner, she saw him, sitting there on her steps, a present wrapped horribly in his hands, looking very out of place in his black cloak. she stopped in her own steps and he hesitantly stood up, before she launched herself into his arms breathing in his cologne, finally together after all this time.

#draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x hufflepuff!reader #draco malfoy #draco fanfiction #draco x you #draco x female reader #draco x reader #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter headcanon #draco malfoy headcanon #harry potter imagine #harry potter fanfic rec #harry potter x y/n #cedric diggory x reader

[ushiwakaout]

Hi, if it's not to much trouble could you do atsumu for what he would say from the moment you wake, but the reader is a professional violinist. Jock x classical musician but make ✨Married life✨ lmao. If you can't or don't want to I totally understand. Also I hope I'm not bothering you :)

i did one for atsugi already but i’m so willing to make is the married life edition, you can read it here

BUT THIS WOULD BE SO CHAOTIC and i think a little unhealthy ngl especially with a pro violinist and a pro volleyball player but i’ll make it short

just to set the scene,

“why are you awake so early?” (7:00 am)

*it’s a weekend and atsumu doesn’t get up until the early afternoon*

“practice? i thought you where a professional already, what the fuck do you need practice for?”

“Shut up i know i practice to i just want you in bed.”

“Get back here and give me a kiss you brat.”

“isn’t your recital today?”

“i have a game today so i don’t know if i’ll make it.”

“I’m sorry you know our schedules don’t line up.”

“I promise to make it up to you alright?”

“Do you want me to make you some breakfast?”

“Yeah? I’ll do it for a kiss.”

*atsumu cooks naked. man is afraid of nothing but you when you’re stings snap on you mid song during long hours of practice*

“Pancakes or waffles?”

“Waffles it is.”

*if you didn’t pick waffles* “Hey, no complaining.”

“Atleast i’m feeding you before you get grumpy.”

“Did ya like the waffles? Good, give me a kiss.”

“I don’t care if you have food in your, just give me a smooch.”

“Ya taste like syrup.”

“Hurry up and finish your food, you gotta practice.”

since i already wrote a atsumu one i’ll just write down the basics. Atsumu 100% watches you play while you practice. he thinks you’re an angel from heaven sent from above just for him. He doesn’t miss a day when you practice because he usually always misses a recital. He most definitely feels really bad because he loves you so much and knows how hard you work.

“Hey, I need to head out for early arrival.”

“Give me a kiss before i go.”

“You know i love you right?”

“I want you to do tour best... I know you get nervous.”

“And im really sorry that i won’t be able to make it.” (2:00 pm)

let’s say that the recital is around 8 and the game ended a lot earlier than expected. he’s legit running from station to station to get to the auditorium and stops when he sees a flowershop (6:40 pm)

this morherfucker buys you like three bouquets worth of your favorite flowers

he’s lucky he didn’t forget his ticket at home because he would have been fucked

he’s on time and wow when you get on stage, alone, standing and looking out at the crowd

THIS MOTHER FUCKER WANTS TO STAND UP AND YELL THAT UR HIS S/O but no... he knows better (9:00 pm)

you guys catch eyes and he wants to start crying

it’s been so long since he’s been able to sit down and just watch you do your thing, in you’re zone, with hundred of people around but it just feels like it’s you and him

you’re eyes never leave his unless you close your eyes to focus

highkey if that was me i’d start crying too

ima say that you do because it’s very overwhelming because you’ve worked so hard for this day, more than any other and he’s here.

“You did so well baby.”

*he’s definitely trying not to cry*

“You look so good, let me kiss you.”

“God i love you.”

“You did so so good and you look- let me get a good look at you.”

“If i could fuck you right here and now i would.”

“Ow! Don’t hit me.”

“Let’s go grab some dinner yeah? My treat.”

“Why are you crying?”

“Don’t cry you’re gonna make me cry.”

“Come on, let’s go before they gather around you to congratulate you.”

“Baby let’s run, come on.”

“Hurry up because then i’m gonna get in trouble.”

“If i get in trouble than i lose sponsorships bc i stole a violinist during the her on core.”

extras:

“HEY! ITS 2 AM GO TO BED YOU CRAZY SHIT!”

“Baby- i’m gonna kill you if you pick up your violin.”

“Can i play?”

“Let me touch the new one.”

“What do you mean i’d break it, tha last one was an accident and i got you a new one!”

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu manga #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu spoilers #timeskip haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #atsumu angst #atsumu icons #haikyuu atsumu #atsumu <3 #atsumu hcs #atsumu fluff #atsumu miya #atsumu fanart #atsumu headcanons #atsumu x y/n #hq atsumu #miya atsumu #msby black jackal #msby #haikyuu msby #msby atsumu #inarizaki #inarizaki atsumu #anime x you #anime x reader #anime / manga #haikyuu x gender neutral reader

[sly-merlin]

Killing Me - 7 | n.y

pairing : law student!reader + yuta

genre :    angst , mafia au/ arranged marriage au , smut

warnings of this chapter : cursing and mention of a knife.

words :: 6k

summary : “life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can . it is the only secret for living a regretless life.”                                  

  or              

                       “  curiousity got the cat hitched”

taglist :: (not tagging the old ones because they have read it already bt if u want , lemme know! )  @yiyi4657 @sorrywonwoo @sillywinnergladiator @suhweo @exfolitae @minejungwoo 

@kafenetwork​ @neowritingsnet​

K.M masterlist

k.m 6     k.m 8

*************************************

It was 10 a.m. Not too late! but if someone has a long check list for the day, waking up this late in the morning was obviously not an ideal option. Groaning, you removed the sheets to get ready for a busy Sunday. As much as you didn’t want to tread in that direction, there was only one way out of the room. Keys jingled as you opened the door from inside, mentally thanking Kun for providing you the separate keys for it’d have been impossible to get the little nap that you took after 3a.m.

You were surprised at how door didn’t creak at all when you opened it. Your brows drew together as your eyes darted east and west to find any sign of life but hopefully the door of the other room was closed. You sighed, dragging your feet towards the bathroom.

unconsciously bolting the door, you looked at your reflection in the mirror. Eye bags adorned your deep eyes, cheekbones seeming dull and a bit hollow and all of this has happened in just a week. No matter how comforting the bedding was, the panic had already seeped through your bones when you saw that knife in yuta’s hand. With broken resolve of staying away from them, your anxiety had forced to to call taeyong at midnight, hours after fighting with your thoughts.

“Y/n you need to calm down. I told you already there’s nothing to be afraid of!

“How am I supposed to calm down when he literally threatened me with a knife!” your voice came out in loud whisper.

“He’s just finding a way to control you. I know he might have sounded aggressive but he’s not-

“Aggressive? You are defending that asshole!.... but it shouldn’t be a surprise to me. After all he’s your own kind. I can’t put-

“No y/n. you said yourself he looked drunk! and when I’m telling you you are safe th-

“I don’t think there’s anything to believe. I won’t be surprised if this was just a ploy to kill me in some more satisfactory way.” and you had hung up the phone on him.

After the call, you had realised there were flaws in your accusations towards taeyong but you were not in the wrong here and caring for your own life never counts as overreacting!

Finishing the morning routines, you were about to enter your room to get ready for the day but your feet instinctively led you to the living room.

Knife was gone. But the mark it left was a reminder of the alarms that went off in your head hearing yuta’s words.

You shook your head, deciding to stick to your original plan. Live and leave!

your to do list was not lengthy but still time consuming and luckily you won’t return until eight or nine so maybe you won’t face him today.

Tutoring, returning the boxes and some groceries.

You were recalling everything you had to do as your privilege to delay things was already gone a week ago. Being a senior in the same uni, you were the best option for the juniors, who could teach them the tips and tricks of attempting subjective exams and it was filling your bank account so you were not going to complain about teaching on Sunday as well.

The stack of plastic boxes seemed to be teasing you. There was no Johnny or jaemin, so it’d take atleast two rounds to get those downstairs and moreover you had to spend extra money on the taxi as well.

You whined loudly. The load of glitches in your life was not ending at all.

And all for the courtesy of none other than nakamoto yuta.

*****************************                                        

“I’m back!?” yuta announced his presence in the house in his loud good morning voice. “What’s for breakfast?

“Your favourite!” jungwoo replied cheerfully, tying his shoelaces.

Yuta glanced around finding most of them busy with one task or another but one particular scene going about in the corner of the hallway caught his attention.

“you lost yours! this is mine!” ten was shouting at doyoung, the same so-done-with-everyone look on doyoung’s face and between their hands was a mask that was getting harassed by both of them.

“You haven’t been active since two months, so no chance that this is yours!”

“I just went with you few days ago-

“What the heck are you both jumpy for?” yuta interrupted their bickering. They both stopped instantly, taking in yuta’s appearance. with hair looking like a bird’s nest and clothes all crinkled like he was wearing his sleepwear which he was not!

“Hyung! he is not giving me the mask. Its mine. I can’t go out for mission without it!” doyoung whined pointing at the black face mask aka cover at yuta.

“Since when are you nursing such macho interests doyie?” yuta snickered at doyoung , ten joining as well.

Doyoung gave them a stern look before throwing the mask on ten’s face. “ I’m not going with you anymore” he grumbled before making his way upstairs but stopped midway, pointing towards yuta, “ and I’m telling yong you are here again!” and he ascended upstairs.

“Give him my cover ten.” yuta patted ten’s shoulder but before he could ask or say anything to him, yuta made a beeline for the kitchen.

There in the kitchen, chenle and Kun were already gossiping minus chenle’s screaming, so it was visibly something serious. They both stopped as soon as yuta neared them and he definitely noticed the transition in the mood.

“What you hiding lele?” he asked the boy, settling himself between him and Kun.

Chenle simply giggled in response, his face lighting up yuta’s mood.

“What’s for breakfast?” he curiously asked Kun.

“cereal.” Kun replied.

“What! But jungwoo said it’s my favourite!”

“Yeah. You can definitely have your favourite cereal!” Kun exclaimed, sharing a high touch with chenle who couldn’t stop giggling at yuta’s scrunched nose.

“Don’t you have a mission to attend?”

“Mission? Pfff. why are you calling it that? It’s just a regular deal and why do you smell like...” chenle pretended to sniff yuta before completing his verbal assault. “Like someone poured egg mixture on your head.” kuns eyed widened as he tried his best to control his laughter by pursing his lips.

Chenle let out a high pitched scream as yuta grabbed his neck from behind, chenle’s body squirming under the pressure.

“Don’t you want to live few more years!” yuta playfully warned him, leaving his neck. As soon as he was released, he ran out of the kitchen for his dear life.

“You ain’t being a good father Kun!” Kun shook his head at yuta’s remark and turned towards the coffee machine instead. Yuta on the other side trudged across him to find his cereal box.

“Did jaehyun called you?” Kun asked him.

“He would call me for what now?” yuta backfired pouring the milk into the bowl.

“Taeyong hyung had a message for you but he was a bit busy.”

“Busy my ass. His backyard is always stuck to that ten feet chair. Haven’t you noticed how flat he has become!” he said with mouthful of cereal making Kun chuckle and cough at the same time, the coffee tickling his throat.

“What’s so funny here?” taeyong arrived in the kitchen, his hand poorly covering his yawning.

At the very moment, Kun coughed harder, trying to divert taeyong’s attention. After few more seconds of pretending, he calmed down.

“Done?” yuta asked Kun, smiling at him. Kun frowned at him in response as taeyong watched the exchange amusingly.

Taeyong made his way towards the cabinets to get himself something to eat but yuta circled backwards, blocking him with his long legs, feet now placed at the lower cabinet.

Taeyong glared at him through his hooded eyes. “Go back to your home and let us live in peace!”

“This is my home and I have pledged to not let anyone live in peace, especially you.” yuta replied pointing his spoon at him.

“Not . anymore!” taeyong declared, emphasising each syllable.

“Why are going to the deal in pyjamas? Are you trying to impress someone there? Perhaps li-shan, Taiwanese weapon mogul. But I don’t think you can amaze her without showing your ugly face boss.” yuta jabbed at yong, wiggling his brow at him. But with each word leaving his mouth, he was annoying taeyong more than ever.

“Why not talk about you instead. Let’s explain kun what you did last night hmm!” taeyong brushed his palms together before folding them against his chest. Kun titled him head at his words. He was missing something probably.

“I don’t know what you are talking about yong.” yuta replied calmly but moved his legs to clear taeyong’s path, hoping he would slide away, taking his precious mouth with him.

taeyong that was facing yuta now rotated his body in kun’s direction, addressing him, “our dear yuta welcomed y/n into his life by slamming a knife into the coffee table, telling her to leave the fuck out of his life, all while being under influence of alcohol, which we all know was nothing but a façade.” the composed manner with which taeyong spoke was enough for yuta to break down his frisky mannerisms. He didn’t think you would rant him out to taeyong.

“So she is a whiny baby like our doyoung!”

“This is not what I mean and you know that!” taeyong’s voice rose, staring yuta down with his hands tucked in his pyjama pockets.

“It was a mistake”, yuta tried to explain, threading a hand through his hair, “I was drunk.” he completed quietly.

“Then how did u drive home? Were you drunk and driving?”

“I told you alre-

“Cut it yuta! I’m done hearing your stupid excuses for impulsive actions. Because of you she doubted me! Fucking me! Am I seriously a man of my words or was this all some stupid drama. She thinks I’ve hired you to slaughter her in her sleep! What the fuck, don’t you laugh at me now!” out of nowhere, yuta has started laughing and nobody knew what was so funny to him in the whole conversation.

“I seriously don’t remember anything except the knife part but now I feel like she might have peed her pants yesterday!”

“Bring her here tomorrow and you’ll apologise in front of me!”

Suddenly yuta’s face fell at his order. “No way in hell I’m doing that. And she’s never sitting in my car. ever.” he emphasised, leaving the stool to put dishes in sink.

“Oh wow. Ohkk. Then you are bringing her to the district office tomorrow. For registration. At sharp 9a.m and i don’t need any lame stupid excuses. And she’s sitting in the passenger seat of your car. Or you are apologising to her in front of everyone. A or b. you choose now!” taeyong stated with a flash of authority in his voice. They both eyed each other down as Kun whirled around to leave the negativity. He was done and that too for good.

“I’m going to shower.” yuta announced, rounding the counters to follow Kun but stopped once he reached the door.

“I don’t know what has come over you but I’ve never seen this much hatred in your eyes ever. not for anyone we know. never expected it from you yongie. why it has to be me hmm!”

taeyong’s anger reduced to one of puzzlement as he took in yuta’s word. He raised his hand to stop him but he was gone. Sitting on the stool and resting his head in between his hands, he could sense yuta’s hostility for him. Yuta has always been messing up with his head. That was nothing new. But when did his gamesome disputes got twisted into antagonism, taeyong was unable to find an answer for that. His intentions might not have been bonafide but they were truly far away from the malice yuta was accusing him of. He didn’t hate him. Never had. And never will. But now was not the time to repair their cuts. Because yuta won’t allow him to even try.

***************************************

16:00

“Do you think of all the topics, Mrs. Kang is going to choose double jeopardy?” your junior or student at the moment, asked you in confusion, flipping through the pages of his constitution reference book.

“Yes she would. Definitely. And subjective on that. How many times do I have to repeat! There are just 73 pages of Article 13 on this book. Just pick and choose the precedents and landmark cases and you are done.” you concluded.

Just when you were about to taste your now cold chocolate latte, another one chirped up.

“Can’t we skip some of the civil rights? She gave us an assignment of ex post facto laws instead and we don’t think she’d question us on the topic she didn’t even taught in the first place!”

You suddenly chuckled, resting the cup on the small table. “That’s nothing new actually. For all I know, she has been doing this since she joined fifteen years ago. Topics differ but same pattern follows. She gives an assignment a month before exams, adds the grades as extra credit, imprinting a false presumption through her actions that she’d go in hell if she ever questions from that topic in exams. Everyone is happy that they can skip at least one topic without worrying about it and then boom!!!.She puts that very topic in subjective part. Voila! and everyone’s scores drop.” you sighed looking dramatically at the opposite wall. “But not actually everyone is that naïve so people like me and you actually do the chore of consulting our seniors. And this chain is as old as her career. So do you want to take the risk of doubting me?” you completed looking down at them with furrowed brows.

If words could kill, it’d have been the ones you just threw mercilessly at the young ones right now! They looked like seconds away from passing out. Your own face dropped at their helplessness so instinctively, you assured them.

“Hey! No pressure. You have one of the best guide here so I’ll make sure you ace the civil law!”

Their stiff shoulders relaxed for once in last 3 hours. Another forty five minutes and you would be leaving this small study room. The occasional yawns were not going away by coffee either. You were tired as hell but still had plenty to do. The visit to supermarket was still pending and you were not going to waste your precious money on taxi. Not again. You’d rather travel for an hour by bus to reach your new residence.

You were consumed in your own restless thoughts when the ringing of your phone woke you up.

Yugeom.

“Oye y/n, we are going to itaewon. A new restaurant has opened. At eight. Get ready and I’ll pick you up from dorms.”

no hello. No formalities. He commanded you like you were his junior soldier in a war waiting for his directions to act.

“Slow your roll! I’m busy. I can’t join you today.”

“What are you doing at this hour? Your tuitions ended an hour ago.”

“No. I missed previous sessions so I’m making up for It.” you heard a long sign from other side.

“Ok. So you are only fifteen minutes away from dorms! You can make it. If you say we’ll delay for an hour. How about now?” you cringed at his antics but you had no other option than to burst his hope.

“I’m busy after that. I’ve some grocery shopping to do. I moved out so I’m busy setting everything up.” you deliberately mumbled the last part.

“What the! You moved out. When and why” the happiness in his voice suddenly turned into one of annoyance, “Why is everybody hiding stuff from me these days? Jungkook is busy every other day doing don’t know what! And now you! You changed address and probably I’m the last person to be knowing this!” he huffed at the end.

“I don’t know about kooky but I just took the decision in emergency. And I promise I’ll treat you to bulgogi next time.” your peace offering to him was his favourite food so you knew you were in safer zone. that was the only way you knew. food.

“yeah yeah whatever. Its not like I expect you both to visit my grave or anything. just don’t miss yeong’s birthday. she would chop off your hair.”

“Yeah sure. Now bye. I’m busy.” you hung up with a smile plastered on your face, your students already waiting for you with knitted eyes.

“Oh sorry. What is it?” you apologised for distraction and moved your chair further to take a look at the book.

“Umm what should be the beginning sentence? I promise I’ll get through this, just give me a kick start.”

“Me too! I don’t want any less than an A.”

You rolled your eyes at their competitiveness and their dedication to cling to you for head starters. Last time, you told yourself that you won’t help them with papers next time. But their puppy faces got through you resolves. Every time.

“Doyeon, you can start with the maxim “autrefois convict” and how it is applied in other countries, indirectly giving a comparison with our system. And you!” you continued, concentrating on mingi. “You would give beginning of civil law and how it was admitted in Korea and then explain the article 13 while giving subtle hints about how our system is a bit shitty at this but don’t forget to sugar-coat or Mrs. Kang will make sure your stupid ass never completes law. afterall…Her husband is a judge in the high court !” you advised rather sarcastically, glancing back and forth between them in silence. As they understood the reference, a burst of loud hearty laughter covered the small room before all of you returned to your studies.

*****************************************

9:30 p.m.

Your sneakers squeaked as you dragged your tired body out of the elevator. The apartment ,besides being just few steps away seemed miles away for now. By the strength you were holding and pulling the jute bag up from the floor, you were sure the red marks would be visible by now. Odds were never in your favour these days, but still to save yourself from the wrath of the monster, you had decided to take a longer route instead. Travelling, dinner, shopping, you had turned these everyday jobs into a mission to avoid yuta. But you had forgot about the discomfort that’d be caused by these extra efforts.

So now here you were, wishing the door itself would come and welcome you!

As soon as the door came into sight, you dropped the bag just when your body slumped against it. You groaned again realising chelin is not there to drag your almost dead body inside, so you picked the bag again. 2610 and the entrance was in vision.

As if some sort of warning, three pairs of shoes welcomed you. You took a deep, harsh breath before entering the hallway mutely. You walked straight for the kitchen but were not unnoticed by the two male figures sitting on the couch. Their heads turned like owls when you placed groceries on the counter. yuta and mark. You peeked through your hooded eyes to notice that they were playing some sort of game on the t.v and it wasn’t hard to read that the sour look on their faces was due to your presence in the vicinity.

So you did what you initially intended to! Leaving the bag on the counter, you left for your room but apparently everything has a limit excluding your bad luck.

You turned around ,muffled exhausted moan leaving your pursed lips only to find that the filled jute bag was now halfway empty, little red balls rolling and rolling towards the couches and the little marathon of apples stopped only at mark’s feet. You stood there like a deer caught in headlights until your admirer spoke out.

“That’s not how you feed your guests Mrs. y/n and especially not your husband.” the third man, jaehyun, who was hidden behind yuta till now, voiced his very genuine concern for your manners.

You initially rolled your eyes at his comment, deciding to avoid him as much as possible and removed your backpack to pick up the fruits and candies. But while you were picking up the stuff, a very annoying laughter erupted from the opposite side, definitely from jaehyun so you decided to address him directly.

“Hate to burst your bubble jaehyun, but uninvited guests seldom meets a welcome. so the problem here is maybe not me!” you  gave him a tight lipped smile and started with your scattered groceries again, placing them one by one in the bag again, the jute now balanced nicely to contain them.

“Well I’ve have an official invitation to be a guest here. Anytime I want. So isn’t it your duty to be a good host!” his snarked.

“Oh then someone who can adopt you, can feed you as well! And I’m sure you are in good hands jaehyun ” you only heard a snicker and someone’s shushing voice as the oranges in your hand started to roll out again. You were already frustrated enough to handle jaehyun and now the oranges were not cooperating either.

You started collecting them again when a pair of legs shadowed you.

“Wait I’ll do it!” mark said sheepishly, his hands already holding the other apples.

“It’s ok”

“You are wobbling. Lemma help.” mark gestured towards the fruits ,  fixing his glasses with his knuckles.

“Thanks” you merely mumbled as he filled and picked the bag only to place it in the corner of the further counter, secured properly.

After he was done, you thanked him again before picking your bag to leave for room.

“y/n don’t play the ‘lets catch criminals’ game in your sleep, who knows you might not wake up from the trauma of the consequences.” he shouted at you, chuckling along the way.

You were sure if frustration and idiocy had a face, jaehyun surely matched them perfectly.

“登録事務所。明日。 9時に”

Your mouth hung open as you stopped with the hand on the knob, trying to decipher what he said but obviously it was of no use. You didn’t know any Japanese so you just shut the door behind.

Loud laughs and yelling disturbed your sleep and that continued till 11p.m and after multiple trips to bathroom, you were able to rest a bit.

And one more thing you noticed during your frequent visits, yuta had officially moved in as your roommate.

*****************************

Turning off the alarm, you hid your face further into the summer sheets. The night was a bit peaceful as compared to the ones you have been experiencing lately but in no way blissful. You missed your small single dorm bed, your comrade in the battles of stress. The rooster alarm had woke you up at 6 but for every student, the desire to be in the embrace of bed swells on the day called Monday. Reluctantly, you rubbed your eyes, sitting on the edge of the bed. But as you beheld the sight with squinted eyes, a smile crept on your face, your legs taking you towards the balcony. As you opened the sliding door, the warm of the morning sun welcomed you, making you close your eyes at the feeling.

After staying there for a few moments, you decided to get ready as the university was now actually too far away for anyone’s liking and you were supposed to attend the lecture of Intellectual property law at 9 a.m sharp

Collecting the clothes for the day, you pushed yourself for the bathroom. As you opened the top cabinet, there was everything but what you stacked a day ago.

There was a toothbrush, but clearly not yours. There were cleansers and toners, but again, not yours! Even your sanitary products were gone!

Yesterday night, the new hand wash that also didn’t belong to you had indicated that yuta has settled down but it was only now that you noticed, he had thrown out yours to accommodate his own stuff! You pulled your hair in frustration at his thought. He was a jerk, for sure, but of very senior kind. If hundred jerks were grinded in a mixer, only then one yuta could come into existence again.

Looking around ,your eyes fell on the cabinets below the sink, a bit inwards, that were probably used to put cleaners or something. But as you opened them , a squeal left your lips. There were no toilet cleaners but still your essentials were haphazardly thrown over each other. At least these weren’t thrown outside!

Huffing and puffing, you properly assembled them, ready to get through the day. Your main focus was not to trip yourself into another blunder but that yuta was scheming against you even in your absence. Not that you could do anything, but if there was a slightest probability, you’d slice his bitter tongue at first attempt. But no violence, even in thoughts. For now.

Somehow, the running water had managed to wash your cold head and you happily got ready for university in black long sleeved top and washed jeans. There was no need for scarf and yeong won’t be seeing you due to her paper presentation, so the fashion exercise was also cancelled. Putting your hair in a low ponytail, you grabbed your heavy backpack and went out to get some breakfast. The thought of cornflakes topped with apples was watering your mouth. So you ran out of the room, throwing bag on the couch, then made your way to food paradise.

Thanks to Kun or Johnny, the kitchen was already well equipped with the utensils and cutlery but still it was hard to navigate to find a small bowl for cereal. Once the hunt for glass bowl ended, you gasped!

In your hurry to dodge the them yesterday, you had totally forgotten to refrigerate the milk and there was no doubt the milk was spoiled by now.you sighed digging through the bag for your milk cartons but wow! there was cereal, apples, which needed to be stored as well, the chocolates, but no milk. you were sure that you indeed paid for the two milk cartons but no nothing, nada!. biting your nails, you eyed the fridge. Could it be!

Yes, it was. The cartons were stored in the fridge fresh and packed. You would thank that mark boy someday, if he remain cordial with you! of course.

The milk was too cold for your preference, but everything’s better than starving! The watch on your wrist read 7:40, you were on time like always. You stored the milk back and washed the dishes. Last thing you wanted to hear was that man taunting you for not keeping the space clean. Tossing two apples into the bag, you marched for the door.

“Where are you going?” rotating in your steps, you noticed yuta standing by the counter, shirtless, wearing only jeans, drying his hair with a towel and his orbs staring into yours in a showdown.

“A student with a backpack at 8a.m! I won’t be going to a fight club right!” you replied impulsively but immediately regretted opening your mouth, noticing his warning gaze. You again turned to continue but he paused you again.

“You are breaking the deal here then! Taeyong hates deceivers and results of his rage are not very pleasant either. Not that I would mind anything here”

Your face twisted as to why would taeyong would feel being defrauded at your uni trip! He himself told you to continue study.

As you dictated your same thoughts to yuta, you were met with a questionable look.

“I’m talking about district office. The place where we are going to register this peaceful treaty. Today. At 9 a.m.” he air quoted peaceful as you took in his words. He could be lying right! As if he heard your thoughts, he clarified with a smirk garnishing his lips, “It’s not an assassination attempt. You won’t be walking right now if I wanted to kill you so much.”

You gulped at his words but regained composure moment later, “but taeyong didn’t inform me about this and I’m late for my lecture. I can’t miss it without informing my teacher. So go alone.”

“I would love to sweety! But I had informed you yesterday and they need both of us, unfortunately.” he was still crushing his blonde hair with the towel.

“We didn’t even talk yesterday!”

“You didn’t. I did. I told you right when you were outside your room so don’t lie. If you want to go, wait here. Or else take the bus. I don’t mind.” he concluded, walking away. And you thought he was shit-talking in Japanese.

“I don’t understand Japanese. So talk to me in Korean or English next time.” you shouted at his back, frowning in annoyance.

“DON’T YOU STUDY LAW OR SOMETHING?”

You groaned loudly at his illiterate comment. “Japanese isn’t a law subject you moron!” you mumble to yourself, fishing out your phone to shoot taeyong a text.

You: district office meeting is today?”

Waiting, you moved to the couches. His response came immediately.

Taeyong b.n: hmm. Johnny and doyoung would be there so jaehyun won’t be a trouble to you. If yuta does anything, do tell me. Bye.

You threw your head at the back, moaning in an ugly tone. The idea of travelling with yuta was daunting and nerve wrecking. And jaehyun was just cherry on top. Single minute in his presence made you felt like an intruder. So much for new family. Then there was Johnny who could be counted as totally normal if placed in same balancing scales as these foolish brains and Kun had same vibes as jungkook, positive and put together. And from jungkook, your mind floated to chelin. You had decided to let her choose some skirts for you as it would make her happ-

You craned your neck at the sound of utensils. Yuta, now properly dressed ,was making food for himself. And he was wearing black shirt and washed jeans. Same as you. How insufferable. You were going to be looking like his little sister or something!

“Hurry up!” you exclaimed. “I have a lecture. I want to attend the half of it at least.” crossing your arms, you tried to focus on the t.v instead. Your previous happy mood was nowhere to be found in the reflection that faced you!

“We aren’t going on a bicycle. And we are going to a govt. office. Forget about the lecture, you’ll die of standing in the queues anyway.” he scoffed at you, taking a bite of the bread.

Cabinet open. Cabinet shut.

Refrigerator open. Shut.

Another thud. Maybe of glass bowl. By the sound of it, the bowl he was using won’t last for too many days.

A few moments of silence.

at this point, you could hear your own heartbeat, but still you were on edge. Your legs were restlessly shaking, fingers crossed, and thumbs fighting for dominance. Then suddenly, you face contorted at a certain sound.

Slurping. And it continued to breach the silence for few more moments. A louder thud.

“Are you sleeping or what? It’s not like I’m dying to drive you!”  The repulsion in his voice was clear.

Not choosing to answer, you picked the bag, walking outside, stopping only at the shoe rack.

“Oops. Wait. I think I forgot my sweetheart inside!” he announced before going back.

A small seat was attached with the shoe rack. You were tying your shoelaces when yuta sat beside you, picking up his own shoes. You gave a side glance to his shoes, the sight making your eyes round with surprise. A knife was clearly visible through his white sock. and maybe one of many. You jerked your head to focus on your own shoes. You got up before he did, smoothing the sleeves of your top.

What you missed were yuta’s eyes. On you. More specifically, on the ring, decorating your forefinger. His hooded eyes travelled upwards from finger to your waist, he gulped at the sight of your chest which was slightly pushed out due to straps of the bag but he halted right there, opting not to look further. He suddenly wanted to look anywhere but you. He peeked again but was glad that you were busy with your ponytail, instead of giving him any attention. He abruptly got up, cleaning his hands with the sanitizer he had kept yesterday right there.

While walking away, he looked behind, “wait outside the building.” he said like he was reading a morning newspaper, in stoic and emotionless voice. Opening the door, he stilled again, “and wear the ring in the third finger. Got to make them believe!” and he was gone.

You looked at the platinum which was shimmering due to the light. You closed your hand tightly after changing it.

**************************************

The entire car ride was silent. Not comfortable one but the kind that could make one nauseous. As the district office was approaching, the discomfort intensified. your gnashed you teeth in an attempt to control your movements, moved the zipper of the bag up and down , sideways but your heart beating sped up like never before as yuta parked the car.

You jumped out as soon as he opened the door, craving for fresh air. Taking deep breaths, you gave light pats on your churning stomach. Once feeling a little better, you circled the car to reach where yuta was standing. He didn’t say anything but you followed him mindlessly.

“Morning y/n. how are you?” you peered at Johnny, who was smiling at you, expecting a response. You merely nodded at him, hugging your arms,.

“Hurry up. Its almost 9. I don’t have much time.” jaehyun said, not even acknowledging your presence.

“How much time do we have to wait for our turn?” you asked Johnny, now fumbling with the bag straps like a nervous school kid.

“Not even a sec!! jae got it here. Just witness signatures have to be done and then they’ll make you sign on a register.”

Reminder to not believe a fuck yuta says!

“Give me your bag. It won’t look very smart,” you handed over your bag to Johnny as everyone else was already miles away.

It was not even a room, if you could say. It was just a cabin with a small sign marriage registration written on it. There were plenty of people waiting but somehow you were the first or at least it looked like it.

“Please sit.” the lady offered politely, pointing towards the two chair opposite hers. You and yuta took seats as jaehyun opened the papers for her. She went through all the three pages in painfully slow speed, intermittently glancing at you both through her round glasses.

You were focused on her as she matched the details of birth certificates with papers when Johnny nudged you. He was trying to say something ,by actually not saying anything.

A smile. Then he looked at yuta. And he kept repeating it until you understood.

Smile. Yuta. Smile yuta. Smile yuta???

Ohh smile at yuta!!

You nodded profusely before turning towards yuta who was receiving the same instructions from doyoung but was too oblivious to catch anything. You waited for him to pick up and when he faced you, found you already doing the same. He plastered a smile on his face, you mirroring him instantaneously. And that was when you noticed, the twinkle in his eyes, howsoever fake, but still a beautiful sight. Your curved lips almost dropped at this. His eyes didn’t left your face as he scanned it completely. You, for a fact knew, your smile didn’t reach your eyes. You were just unable to do that. And nobody has ever questioned it but yuta’s eyes! , his eyes were teasing you. That he was better at this game. And that you were lacking something when compared to him!

“You kids are so fine!” you broke your eye contact at her voice, thanking her internally. “Most couples these days just come here, being all over each other and blah blah but the ones who try to find the shine in other’s eyes are like rare diamonds. Keep looking at each other and you’ll both find your paradise someday.” she clasped her hands together, tilting her head slightly to look at your figures. Her smile seemed …hopeful! How could she not realise that you both were faking being happy!

“You can sign here!” she exclaimed. You both signed at mentioned space. Afterwards Johnny and doyoung also signed as immediate witnesses.

“Collect the certificate in two days.” she said, an indication for you that you were over with another drama. You bowed to her before leaving, not forgetting to briefly smile at her.

Were you both that believable? Maybe faking being intimate wasn’t that of a trouble! Or maybe it was because you were both good at the art of pretence!

“Your bag y/n.” you took it from Johnny, putting it on your shoulders immediately. Taking out your hair tucked in the back side of the bag, you nodded at Johnny as goodbye, making your way outside.

“Hey wait!”

You stopped at his voice.

“Taeyong gave a message. The reception is on Friday evening. And lemma drop you. I’m not going with them.” you didn’t even know how to react at his words as you shook your head in refusal, your tummy giving you active signs of running away.

“No. I’m fine. Bye. take care.” you concluded, sprinting outside for a wave of fresh air, leaving Johnny behind, dumbfolded.

“Quite a runner!” jaehyun laughed as he and others joined Johnny.

“Yeah. She was shouting about some lecture at 9 a.m. maybe if she runs like bolt, there’s a chance to attend it!” yuta spoke. jaehyun laughed as if what yuta said was actually really funny.

“No. she is just hurt and upset.” Johnny explained, following you but immediately stopped at yuta’s words.

“shield cant be a sword johnny. Shield can never be a sword!”

***************************************************\

“登録事務所。明日。 9時に”  = registration office. tomorrow. 9 o’clock.

#tags dont work actually #nct #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct angst #nct fluff #nct mafia #nct arrange marriage #yuta scenarios #yuta mafia #yuta arrange marriage #yuta angst #kpop series #nct series