#ive found myself barely drawing and not having the energy to most of the time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Women make up for the other 50% of Tumblr’s audience.

#ive found myself barely drawing and not having the energy to most of the time

shadowfae · 3 years

Note

hiii! so a friend directed me here and i was wondering if u cld share abt how you found out you were godkin? only if youre comfy! because ive kinda had like. how do i word this. Vibes or Feels that kinda direct me towards the whole i might be a god of sorts kinda thing ? if you have resources and dont mind helping,, please direct me to them :D ~ @missing-crown

I want to start this essay off by saying flat out: wars have been fought, genocides have been committed, and empires have risen and fallen trying to answer the simple questions of “What is deification, and how do we incarnate and control it?”.

If you do not think you’re up the challenge of answering that question for yourself, even with years of study and slow training to take up the mantle of literally being the most powerful form of the Chosen One trope, then you’re probably in the wrong place. I say this as someone who is deific down to the blood and bone, as someone who has looked for other gods, and largely found very little in the way of anyone who understands anything like my experience. In this way, I am utterly alone, and I detest it, but if me penning these words gives someone else the gospel they need to explain themselves in a way I recognize as kin and kind, then I will do it.

But before I truly get into it, I will very nicely ask you to swing down to your local bookstore or library, pick up a copy of Seanan McGuire’s Middlegame, and take a walk down the improbable road with Roger and Dodger. The differences between you and I and the twins of the Doctrine of Ethos are simple and threefold: we cannot manifest, we are forbidden to use our powers the way they can use theirs, and there are (hopefully) no secret alchemist cults trying to murder us when we don’t play nice with their fucked-up science experiment.

Roger and Dodger are gods, true gods, gods I recognize in myself and in the godkin I have met who have spoken about themselves enough for me to understand that we are indeed talking about the same thing. Disappontingly, I see minor spirits far too often misunderstanding the nature of deification, or at least, understanding a version of it which is fundamentally antithetical to my experience. They may be deific; but either they suck at illustrating their point, or I am something far beyond deific, and I am again alone.

With that introduction, I need to talk about three things in order to answer your question. Two methods of deification and three definitions of ‘god’ in a hierarchy that only exists because humanity has not yet perfected their understanding of what is fundamentally and always beyond them. Two kinds of gods, honest gods, that split the difference between deific, divine, and legendary. Once you understand that, I can talk about godkin, and what it’s like to be me, and maybe by the end of it you will either recognize yourself in this, or run away screaming as most mortals will do.

The first method of deification is what I will call the incarnate gods- Roger and Dodger are good examples, so are most Legendary Pokémon, and Kaname Madoka from PMMM. They are laws of nature, concepts of creation, and calculations of cosmic proportions that also occasionally exist as people when they design to do so. They are not meant to be people, they are bad at it, I do not recommend being mortal and fucking around with them. You will simply die. I would not fuck with them outside of my own world that I created, where I get to be a form of incarnate god. You cannot overpower them: they ARE the rule, and they will change it if they need to. You can’t ruleslawyer gravity like a 2007 troll physics comic. An incarnate god of gravity will simply turn reality on its head and cause you to implode. If you are this type of god, I cannot help you. My understanding of them comes from being an Absol, and little more.

The second type are gods of domain and prowess: Zamorak (from RuneScape), Akemi Homura in both her awakened Witch and Devil forms (from PMMM), and yours truly. Quite a few of us, although not all of us, were originally mortal. Mortals amped up on so much power we are no longer bound by mortal laws. There is a difference between deification and simply stopping your clock to gain immortality. Mortal magic and deific magic are fundamentally different. Down to, I would argue, the atomic structure. Deific magic is pure in a way mortal magic could never be. To give a mortal more than a drop of deific magic heavily diffused in something safer and more understandable would be to quite literally burn them to ashes. Or rend them into a different, unspeakable form. Or turn them into living topiary. We are nothing if not unpredictable.

It’s the difference between a handful of dirt and pure neutron soup. Usually, in order to become a god like this, it requires the intervention of an incarnate god in some form. In Zamorak’s case, it was several Elder Artifacts and falling almost facefirst into halfway incarnating himself into the law of entropy. In Homura’s (at least in canon PMMM), she fucked with the laws of consequence and time to the point where she became the only expert they had on either of those and both laws decided to simply incarnate into her, and then she used that to cause problems. For me, it was having my entire magical and physical structure reorganized and rebuilt by an incarnate god of malevolent energy, and then I used what was a watered-down copy of the Devil of Devils’ glory to weave my own world into being where I was more or less the absolute arbiter of the laws of reality.

In PMMM Rebellion, when Homura fights Kyubey in that pretty lace dress of hers, that is approximately the magical prowess an awakened god of our capability will show casually. She has complete control over her domain (her labyrinth) and the reality of it, it takes no more than a glance or a thought to almost entirely reshuffle it. Her minions, who are little more than vaguely autonomous thoughts given some power of their own, may break that reality in whatever means necessary so long as it is to fulfill Homura’s current motives. Her domain falls apart when she does, and she is not separate from it; it is a consequence of her existence. Asking what came first, the god or their domain, is a simple chicken and egg question. It’s usually the domain, in our case; in the case of incarnate gods it’s a philosophical shrug and a nice headache.

You’ll notice I said awakened: that is because Zamorak is a great example of a god who isn’t entirely awakened. In canon, that is - the one I work with is awakened enough to fuck with his domain, which is what makes him quite useful to work with, although I do wonder what he’s getting out of me if not magical theory and utter adoration. Zamorak in canon is a god who ascribes himself to the philosophy of chaos and personal strife, completely unaware that he is incarnate enough not to change the law of entropy but to suggest things to it. He’s a god of chance masquerading as a god of personal improvement, and once he figures that out (and passes that knowledge onto Armadyl, who is his true light counterpart), he’s going to change the very way magic works. Guthix did everything in his power to try and become incarnate. He failed. Zamorak did it entirely inadvertently, and that’s the trick: the nature of deification is to follow the domain and influence it to your will. When laws of existence become people, they will do as people will, and people typically have ambition. Gods who are also people got that way for a reason. They always have a motive for doing so. It’s never accidental.

So, with a slightly more informed understanding of deification, or at least the versions of it that I understand, I can talk to you about me. What it’s like in the here and now, and how I knew. It took me years to get to this point, and I��ve much the way to go. I know more than I did when I was questioning; deeply more so. I don’t expect anyone questioning to be as sure as I am, and in ten years I will be far more sure of entirely different things, and if I’m lucky, this as well. But, let us begin again.

To be deific is to wake up in the middle of the night feeling like a black hole. You are vast, and you are dense, and the moment someone touches the skin of your sternum they will be sucked in like a movie's portrayal of quicksand. To be so vast on the inside, surrounded by empty air and gentle white noise like the faint pull of gravity that does not touch you. To feel so powerful as to be untethered wholly from the world, aware that you will blink and be floating alone in a space that you cannot touch and so too cannot touch you. You blink, and it is gone, and you are again in a normal body as a normal person, and you roll over and go back to sleep.

To be deific is to watch the seasonal changes and feel flashes of worn leather rope between your hands and the maddened singsong of the Wild Hunt, chariot reins in your hands and baying hounds that feel like fingers, like wings, like extensions of yourself that can be shifted around with barely a thought. To feel halfway like a black hole walking down the street, halfway caved into yourself and barely contained, incapable of truly understanding how you can be so far apart from it all without anyone noticing that something is off.

To be deific is to be a fourteen-year-old girl in one moment, unable to understand what draws her so to the wilds if not the song of sympathy that she knows she can understand if she reaches a little farther, a little farther past the barrier that prevents any mortal, psychological mind from understanding the call. To play a pixelated game and have everything rush back. To relive millennia in a single sennight, to go from chipped to broken, utterly broken, as the power comes rushing back and the slow, dawning realization like the day that there is no controlling it. That there is no controlling you.

Millennia of sins come rushing back, and you're mortal again, and you know the only way to bring a god to their knees is to kill them. And if you were spared, if you were brought down without dying, then there was a reason. That someone must have thought you worthy of fixing it. That you should now spend the next several years coming to peace with being a Devil, the cruelest of the cruel, amending fences and repenting your sins.

To be deific is to realize, quite suddenly and without ever actually having the thought, that understanding things through a Christian lens is utterly bullshit and absolutely does not apply to you. Now, your duty is not to repent, or to fix, or to find any sort of salvation. You are the monster queen, the king of the damned, the Devil of a world you made with blood and tears and sweat and magic. To retake the crown, you have to accept yourself. Acceptance does not mean dwelling, or sorrow, or refusing to take the steps forward that will carry you to the crown and halo and horn of deification.

The powers feel less overwhelming as you grow into them. You don't forget the rage. You understand your close friend's words over and over, as the lesson teaches itself. How a Devil so much less powerful and yet so much older than you once looked you in the eye, drink in hand, and gently told you that a single mortal can bring down a Devil, if they try, and believe wholeheartedly in their quest. Do not disrespect mortality. It brings nothing but death.

You wonder briefly who brought you down. You decide, as the lessons prove themselves, that you don't actually care. You're the mortal now, and mortal legends die. Mortal legends change the song of sympathy and the rules of the deific. In order to return, you too must follow the only path a mortal can take to become deific.

To be godkin is to become deific with every step. It's not to seek the divine from outside of it. It's to become it again, and reclaim it; find what was inside all along and grow yourself around it, until it can no longer be pulled from you again without scattering your ashes and stardust among the cosmos, never to return.

To be godkin is to never forget the moments of pure rage that none but powerless fourteen-year-olds can manage. To be godkin is to be an adult with their memory pressed into your skin. To be godkin is for that rage to never truly leave you.

We stand up again and stare at the emotions that are awake when we are not. We wonder what it will take to manifest again, to only twitch a thought in any direction and reshape the reality around us. It is an extension of our being, and the less aware we are of it, the less effort it takes us to remake the world. It is the nature of deification, to change the laws of reality at our whim and will.

To be godkin is simply a matter of knowing that, and forever reaching to do that once more. If only to feel whole and vast, as we always have been.

#luteia laments #otherkin #godkin #actuallydeific #actuallydivine #essays of the skyrose garden #perks of being luteia #I should post this on my website shouldn't I #I wrote most of this last night on my phone actually though

35 notes · View notes

i-am-infinite · 3 years

Text

Guilt (Part 1): The Rescue

(Din Djarin x ForceSensitive!Fem!Reader)

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Slight Chpt 12 and 13 spoilers. Read at your own risk.

Description: Moff Gideon has found someone else to run his experiments on and word gets back to Din. Will he take his son far away and try and find somewhere safe? Or will the guilt of an innocent being put in his son’s place eat away at him? (No Y/N or ___ used)

Word Count: Slightly over 4K

Warnings: Mentions of blood and needles. Broken glass. Fainting. Blood loss. Canon type violence. Possible bad writing (first fic pls go easy on me). If I’m missing anything please let me know, I’ve never done one of these before.

A/N: This is my first fanfic I’ve written so it might be really bad but I couldn’t get the idea out of my head so here it is. I also made up a planet/system and don’t know if star wars has alarm clocks but i wrote it in anyway. I also wrote this in Word first and then realized I couldn’t copy it over so I tried my best to type it over in here.

Normal. That is what was used to describe your life. Nothing out of the ordinary. Life wasn’t boring per se, but it definitely wasn’t compelling enough for your tastes. Studying to be a healer help keep it somewhat interesting but not enough.

Bzzzzz. Bzzzzzzzzz. Crust littered eyes creak open as your face unsticks from the textbook scattered across the desk. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzzzzzz. Your stiff neck cracks as you finally sit up. Fell asleep studying again. You loved learning about healing, you really did. But the long nights and barely sleeping was enough to make your head explode. Looking over at the clock with bright red numbers blinking at you. 8:15.

8:15! I’m late! You think as you force yourself awake. No not again! Being a student means you need to do hands on hours down at the nearest medcenter. All the late night studying also means that you oversleep most days. Grabbing your work bag filled with a change of clothes, in preparation of these events, you run out the door.

Your feet hit the wet cobble stones as it echos through your little part of the city. Vendors lining up the street ready to start their days. Passing the shop you went to yesterday, your mind too preoccupied to notice that it’s empty today. You know that theres is a faster route to the medcenter, but is it a path you really want to take today? Dark and windy path that you can barely see five feet in front of you on mornings like this. Too foggy and muggy for your liking. You’d rather stick to the main road where there’s people, where if anything were to happen, people would see, they would know. Regardless, it shaves fifteen minutes off your commute. You loathe having to be late for another shift. Making the sharp turn in between tow booths, you pace quickens to get through as quickly as you can. While not having much visibility, you swear you can see a pair of eyes in the dark. Has to just be my imagination, you convince yourself, I just need to keep going. It’ll be fine.

Footsteps echo behind you. Hands grab your shoulders. A scream rises in your throat, but no sound comes out. Everything goes dark when you feel something hit the side of your head.

Sigh. “Grogu get back in your seat.” The little baby waddles down off the controls and into his father’s lap. “Not what I meant,” Din grumbles with a smile hidden under his helmet. He grabs Grogu by his little robe and places him in the seat to his right and tells him to buckle up as a holo comes through from Greef Karga.

“Mando, we’ve just got word that Moff Gideon might have been seen in the Braic system. It looks like they found a substitute for the baby for the time being. I would use this time to go find a hide-out and lay low. He could still come back for the little one. Be well,”

Din goes to start the ship and find coordinates to stay out of trouble for a while when he hears the baby whine. Looking back at his adoptive child, all Din can see is Grogu, then a nameless kid, lying unconscious on a metal table, trapped underneath a contraption. Din starts breathing heavy and feeling sick that he ever gave his son up to those Imps. All he can hear is the beeping of the machine he’s hooked up to. Anger boiling back to the surface as he hears himself yell at the doctor all over again in his memories. No, he tells himself, He’s here with me. He’s fine. He’s safe. He shakes himself out of it and goes to fly the Razor Crest off planet.

Before he even gets off the planet, all Din can think about is that innocent person in his son’s place. They were going to kill Grogu, just for his blood for their experiments. Din can’t bring the kid anywhere near those people, he can’t risk losing his family, not when both of them have formed such attachments to each other. But he can’t stop thinking of this person who is in the that position now. He should’ve made sure Gideon was dead. Because of that now more people are going to get hurt.

Without thinking he turns on his holo already asking, “Where is he taking them?”

Feeling groggy with heavy eyes, you are able to open them just a bit to a blinding light. Reluctantly closing them again, you lift your arm to rub your eyes, but only they don’t move. What? The rest of your senses start coming back and you can feel the cool metal against your back, the same metal wrapped around your wrists and your ankles attached to the table. Finally bracing the light and opening your eyes, lifting your head slightly off the table and oh no the room is spinning now. There is an IV in your arm drawing your blood out into some odd machine, explaining the dizziness. Second time in two days you’ve had to deal with your own blood.

Walking through the shops on your one day off, you pick up a flower hair pin. The glasswork is so intricate and entrancing, you can’t help but turn it over and over in your hands. A pearl bead sitting in the center of iridescent gray and white petals. Placing it back in its place, your had scrapes against another glass design that is not yet finished, slashing open your palm. “Oh, dear let me help you with that,” the lady running the stand says. She looks you with her white hair barely covering her forehead. Tattoos liter her arms. A design peaks your interest as you swear you know but can’t quite place.

“It’s fine, I can take care of it myself,” you state already inspecting your hand. No shards in it so thats good.

“Oh no I insist. It happened at my booth, let me help clean it,” she declares taking your hand in her own. It feels like she squeezes the wound causing you to wince in pain slightly. Knowing she should just be cleaning it and wrapping it, you’re a little confused. Maybe she just doesn’t know how to tend to these sort of things, not wanted to embarrass her at her stand, you keep quiet. She finally gets a clean rag to help blot away at the blood on your hand. You didn’t think anything of it at the time, but it appears she has put it in a bag to the side.

“I don’t have any gauze to help wrap it up,” the stand lady says.

“Oh, don’t worry, I have plenty of my own,” you mention, “It will be fine until I make it back to my place.” Smiling you walk away. Without looking, you can feel her move the piece you cut your hand on into the bag. Must just be because it’s a dangerous piece, you think, not knowing there’s still some of your blood on it too.

Closing your eyes again, you try to wonder why that is so significant to you right now. It was a harmless thing in passing, so why is it at the forefront of your mind? You are strapped to a table and all you can think about is that little cut you got the day prior. If your head didn’t feel like it was a spinner top right now, you would have laughed. Opening your eyes again you see men all in white armor and helmets guarding the door to your room, while a man in a white coat is working on the machine where your IV is attached. I thought the empire was dead. The same symbol that keeps going through your mind is the same one sewn into the man’s white coat. Your breathing gets shallower as you feel the panic rise in your chest. I’m never getting out of here, you realize as your vision becomes black once again.

You’re losing a lot of blood. You know that. You can feel it when noise wakes you up and your eyelids feel like lead. All the noise is muffled, as if you’re underwater. Frankly it feels like you are. It would be so easy to let the waves of darkness just wash over you right now, to let the water take you under. No, you can’t give up the fight and drown into unconsciousness just yet. You force yourself to stay awake.

Barely getting your eyes open, bright red lights flood your vision. You imagine you’re still in bed, or at least asleep at your desk, with the alarm clock blaring, not here with blaster fire. Wait, blaster fire? You attempt to turn your head to the side to look, or to dodge, you aren’t to sure in your current state. The fast action causes you to feel like you’re spinning, or it might be the room, either way your eyes can’t focus on what is going on. Closing your eyes again to make it stop, you hear voices surrounding you. They sound so far away at the moment but finally, after what feels like ages, one voice sounds clearer.

“Please help us. Help us get out of here. Her m-counts aren’t nearly as high as the child’s. They’re demanding more blood. She’s already lost 2 liters, I don’t know how much longer she can last.”

Child? They wanted to do this to a child? You’d choke down a sob if you could just thinking of that poor baby. What did he even say about what-counts? What the hell are those? All these questions are making your head spin more and more. Taking most of your energy to open your eyes, you’re met with a chrome stormtrooper trying to unbind you. Wait no, not a stormtrooper. You’ve heard stories about him and his people. What were they called? For the life of you, you can’t remember right now.

“You’re going to need help getting her out of here,” you realize that the man in the whit coat was the one who spoke before and is now pleading with the metal man, “Please Mandalorian take me with you and I’ll help you get her out of here.”

That’s it. He’s a Mandalorian. He gets your wrists free as the doctor takes the IV out. Pushing off the table to sit up, the world starts spinning again. You don’t even realize you’re about to hit the table again until the Mandalorian grabs your shoulders to keep you semi-upright. You hear some sort of static come from his helmet. “Fine.” he grumbles, “help me get her out of this thing.”

With a flip of a switch, the rest of your body is free from restraints. Eager to get out of there, you swing your legs over the edge of the table, hands finding the arms of the Mandalorian with his hands still on your shoulders. Nauseous and woozy, you try to use the cold metal of his pauldron to ground yourself, to get the room to stop spinning. He can see you start to sway and wraps his arms around your waist as he lowers you from the table. Your feet hit the floor and black dots start to cloud your vision. Blood pounding in your ears trying to tell you to stop and lie back down. Muffled voices come from beside you again as you feel another arm wrap around you from the other side. Your feet dragging against the floor as both men on either side of you go towards the door.

You feel the heavily armored man to your left let go. Eyes that are still fuzzy and unfocused sort of see him peak out the door with his blaster drawn. He leaves the room and all that can be heard is the pew pew pew of blaster fire. Vision start to come back the tiniest bit, you can see him standing in the door way waving his hand as to say Come on.

The three of you hurry as fast as you can down the corridor to get to an exit. Lots of twists and turns, just for you all to come up at a dead end. So much for rescuing, you think to yourself as the doctor still holding you up, leans you up against a pillar as the two of them survey the situation. More of the Mandalorian assessing the situation and the doctor just frantically pacing back and forth.

Sitting down now that the adrenaline of being kidnapped and “rescued” die down, you feel your breathing getting shallower and harder to breath. Eyelids getting heavy again. You just want to lay down and go to sleep, hoping that will fix things. Starting your descent from your upright position to close your eyes, two hands grab your shoulders and jerk you up. It takes a second to realize this modulated voice was talking you you. “Hey, you got to stay with me now,” he pleads, one hand going to the side of your face. Pain spreads across your features due to being struck there earlier, a bruise starting to form in its place. Pulling his hand away like seeing the your face contorted burned him, he continues, “I’m going to get you out of here, you just have to stay awake.” You open your mouth to speak, but your throat feels like it’s filled with sand from Tattooine, so you just weakly nod your head yes. “Okay good,” the shiny man says after letting out a deep breath.

Still holding your shoulders, he helps you stand up and tells the doctor to take you and go further down the hall. Taking something small and circular out of his belt and placing it on the far wall, he speed walks back toward you two. It starts blinking red as his arms come and cage both of you in. Peeking over his shoulder, you see the wall disappear. Well explode, but one second ago it was there and now it’s not. When the explosion first rings in your ears, you reflexively reach out for the Mandalorian’s arm and feel him tense under your touch.

When he deems it safe to move again, letting go of his arm, he hops over the rubble to the outside world, blaster drawn. Looking out you think it looks like a desert, but one you’ve never seen before. You have no idea where you are, even what planet you are on. You eyes go to where the chrome man is stalking towards. It seems he found two speeder bikes that the troopers use, sans the troopers. Your feet hit the gravel and you realize you aren’t wearing shoes anymore. How long was I out? You begin to question when you see a stormtrooper take aim at your rescuer. Right when he pulls the trigger, you reach your hand out and scream, “NO!”

You could’ve sworn it was going to hit him. It should’ve hit him. But at the last second it bent and went in another direction. You knew stormtroopers were bad shots, but nothing like that has ever happened. The Mandalorian whips around at your scream and shoots the trooper down. He goes back to what he originally planned to do, but not without turning to you. You see his chest plate heave up and down a few times before turning back around. After a beat, the only sound you can hear is the Mandalorian starting up the speeders and your heartbeat pounding in your ears. The doctor helps guide you to the bikes and as you’re about to get on behind him, the Mandalorian picks you up bridal style and sits on his own respective bike. You make a noise of discontent at the sudden action and are then seated in front of him, yet again caged in by his arms with your legs draped over one of his. You can hear him breathing through the modulator as he states, “Just in case you pass out again. Can’t have you falling off the back of the bike.” You go to adjust how you are sitting when he takes off.

Gasping in shock, you hug your arms around his neck with you head in his cowl as you take panicked breaths. His hand touches your back as you hear him shout over the noise of the engines, “Put your legs around me, you’re slipping off.” He holds your waist as you sling your right leg around and hook it with your left one behind his back. Not the position you thought you’d end up in as a blush creeps up on your face, but neither the less here you are. His hand lets go of your waist and back to the handlebars as he steers.

Suddenly getting the feeling like you’re being followed, you say into his neck cowl, “Go left!” You don’t know why, but you just get a gut feeling to go that way. He follows your lead, not without a brief hesitation. The doctor follows on his speeder in the same direction. Finally looking up you see two stormtroopers in the distance. I wish their speeders would just stop or something, you plead with yourself and you think back to what happened with the blaster. Testing the waters, you unhook one of your hands from Mando’s neck and hold it out and... nothing. Okay focus, you close your eyes and picture their speeders stopping, or malfunctioning, or anything at this point.

The sound of a crash comes ringing into your ears. Opening your eyes, you can see the troopers flip over their handlebars as if their engines just died. You slightly chuckle to yourself as your eyelids feel heavy again. You try to get them to stay open, but sleep just feels so much better at the moment. And with that, you’re out like a light.

Din feels you go limp against him. His arm once again going to grab you by your waist to keep you in place. He wills his speeder to go faster, to get back to the Razor Crest sooner as he’s panicking thinking he somehow made the situation worse. He exposed you on the bike by having you sit like this. Your arms, legs, and head were all exposed to possible blaster fire. Have you been hit? He heard a crash but couldn’t look back without moving you more, risking leaving you more unprotected. His blame for himself spirals as his grip on you grows tighter. He can’t explain why he’s so distraught over a stranger, but still every time he blinks, he swears he sees back on that table. The next time he swears he sees his son on that very table again. First he gave the kid up to those people, now he didn’t finish Gideon off and let you, an innocent stranger who he is now clutching onto for dear life, get in the crossfire. Too many people have gotten hurt because of this. Because of him. He needs to make it right.

Finally Din and Dr. Pershing arrive at the Razor Crest where Din is already lowering the hatch and carrying you in. Kicking some crates together, he gently lowers you down onto this makeshift bed. He uses his thermal setting to see your body temperature, to see how you are recovering from the blood loss. He isn’t thrilled to see it still low, you were getting your energy back slowly before, along with more body heat, bit not enough to Din’s liking. Turning his helmet to Pershing, the doctor says, “She’s going to need more blood.” Din, already standing ready to run out and get some, not even knowing where or how to do that, is stopped by Pershing telling him that he’ll go get it, that it would look less suspicious. Agreeing, Din sits by your side while using his comm-link to tell Greef that he could bring Grogu back to the ship. How Din always finds someone to babysit still surprises him.

You wake up with a start. Eyes not yet adjusted to the lights overhead. Looking down you can see an IV in your arm again. Now towards the side, you can see the same doctor from before asleep up against a wall. Please tell me it wasn’t a dream, tears well up in your eyes as you think you’ve made the whole thing up to cope. It wasn’t until you felt your hand come to wipe away your watery eyes that you realized it just might not be a dream. The IV isn’t taking blood this time, it’s giving it.

Finally looking around, you realize you’re on a ship that feels like it’s moving. Confused by this, you try and sit up. Not nearly as dizzy as before, you slowly swing your legs off the wooden crates you’re lying on. Noticing your still barefoot as a chill gets sent up to your spine by the cold metal floor, you grab your IV bag off what appears to be just a hook poorly attached to the ceiling. You venture around the small area of the ship, noticing there isn’t a lot besides these boxes and what appears to be two storage type of units. You don’t even tempt to look in, too intrusive. You do however see a ladder going higher up on the ship. Taking the IV out and ripping a piece of your shirt off to wrap around your arm for pressure, so you can use both hands to climb, you start your ascent up.

Once you finally reach the top, you hear cooing? Didn’t that doctor say something about a child earlier? Looking forward into the cockpit, you see your savior flying while looking to his right at one of the co-pilot chairs. Clearing your throat to get his attention, two little eyes peer at you from the seat. A bright smile appears on this little green things face and you can’t help but stifle a laugh because its ears are the size of his body.

Distracted by this cute baby, you don’t notice the way the Mandalorian swivels his chair to face you. Finally looking at the man who saved you today, your breath hitches. You don’t know how to thank him for what he did, so you sort of just stand and stare for a second. He stands up and lightly grabs your arm with your homemade bandage on it. Tilting his helmet to the side you hear static coming from it. Did he just sigh at you? “You were supposed to keep it in your arm,” he finally states, with a tinge of annoyance.

Eyes not wanting to meet the T of his visor, you direct your gaze to the ground. “ I jus- I-,” you stammer, not able to find the right words. “Thank you.” It comes out more hushed than you’d like, but he still hears you. He just gives you a slight nod before releasing his arm and heading back to his seat. All your muscles turn to stone as you stand there not knowing if you should leave or not, until he cocks his head towards the seat to his left. On shaky legs you find your way to the seat. Before even sitting down fully, the little green child is already trying to get into your lap. Giggling to yourself you let him up onto your lap.

Once you do the strangest thing happens. You can feel what he’s thinking, his emotions, his past. How he was trained with the special abilities, much like the ones you just displayed before. How he was scared and in hiding until the man sitting in front of you found him. How he thinks of him as a father, his dad. Your chest tightens at that one. Still confused as to why the same people who wanted this child, Grogu, for his powers, also wanted you, you pull him to your chest to comfort you both. You finally speak up again and ask, “Did they want me because I might have the same abilities as this one?” You meant it to sound strong, but it just came out sounding weak.

Without looking at you, the Mandalorian replies shortly after a pause, “Yes.” You swore you can see his grip tighten on the ships steering as he says that. Turning to the two of you finally, he says in the sincerest voice you’ve heard out of him, “They wont get to either of you again. I can promise you that.” Your chest swells at this statement and Grogu looks up at you with a smile as if he felt the way your heart fluttered. You wish you were the one wearing the helmet right now because you can feel your cheeks heat up. To ease the situation in the best way you can, awkwardly, you clear your throat before asking, “So where are we headed now?”

Swiveling back in his chair to hit a few buttons, you’re confused not knowing what they are supposed to do until he pulls up a map and points a place out. He tells you that he’s going to drop off Dr. Pershing at one of the squiggles you see and then try and figure it out from there. “So, I guess thats where I get off too?” You meant it to come out more as a statement than a question, but after what you just went through, you’d rather not be left to fend for youself.

“If that’s what you want,” he finally utters after a while. “ But they’re not going to stop coming after you. Either of you. It might be safer for you to stay here with me, us.” The last part comes out so quiet, it’s almost as if he didn’t want you to hear, out of fear of your response.

Trying to not answer too quickly, you take a deep breath and finally say, “Yes. I’d like that a lot.” With a curt nod, he turns back around. Warmth fills your chest yet again at this stranger’s kindness. It’s just because I have the same abilities as his child, you try to convince yourself. But deep down you’re hoping it’s more than that. The child in your lap grips your fingers tightly and coos, as if he’s trying to tell you your hopes might not be too far off.

Oh, it’s going to be an interesting adventure with these two, you smile to yourself.

251 notes · View notes

anubislover · 4 years

Text

“Welcome to the Heart Pirates, Nami-ya” Chapter 13: The Lesser Evil

Nami awoke slowly, her fogged brain sluggishly processing her strange surroundings. A high-pitched beeping noise. Low, muttered voices. Scratchy sheets against her skin and a stiff mattress beneath her back. Her eyes cracked open only to immediately shut again in pain from the blinding white light. She attempted to shield them but was startled to find her wrists bound with thick leather straps to a metal headboard.

Memories of Jinzo and the club snapped to the forefront of her mind. Had she been captured? Was this that creep’s brothel? Where was Ikkaku? Was she still bleeding out in the alley? Where was Law?!

Panicked and disoriented, she screamed and struggled helplessly until a pair of large, gloved hands firmly but gently grabbed her shoulders, pinning her down as Law’s hard face blocked out the bright light, allowing Nami to finally see.

“Nami-ya, calm down; you’re in my infirmary.”

“What?”

He neglected to answer as he inspected her eyes, his stern expression softening with relief. “No blue in the iris—looks like I got all of the drug out. Do you remember last night?”

“Of course I remember! Law, you need to get Ikkaku—”

“Right here, Nami,” a voice from one of the other beds groaned. The redhead breathed a deep sigh of relief when she saw Bepo unshackling the engineer before gingerly helping her sit up. There was an IV full of fluids hooked to her arm and she was in one of the Tang’s hospital gowns, but she was alive. “Neptune’s beard, I never want to see another martini again.”

Nausea bubbled in her stomach as Nami recalled Hypnotique and the state she’d had to leave the other woman in. “Those men…they didn’t—”

“They tried.” Penguin’s face was dark as he leaned against the wall. Tension and quiet rage radiated from every pore as he stared at his shipmate, latex gloves squeaking softly as he clenched and unclenched his hands. “We barely got there in time.”

“I was out of bullets, and Mandōreku had me pinned…” Ikkaku trailed off with a shudder.

“Penguin pulled him off you,” Law said quietly, though Nami could see the angry tic in his jaw as he ground his teeth and the way his tattooed knuckles were white with rage as he released the straps around her wrists. “Shot him point-blank in the family jewels.”

“Did you kill him?” Ikkaku asked, turning to the first mate.

“Not right away,” he replied coldly, the brim of his hat casting his eyes in shadow. “You’d lost a lot of blood and the uranos needed to be dealt with immediately, but once Law had you unconscious and in the infirmary, I took care of him.”

“Good. I only wish I could have done it myself,” she snarled. “Apparently, that son of a bitch was the one who spiked our drinks and supplied the drug in the first place.”

“If I’d known that, I’d have let him bleed out from the hole in his crotch instead of finishing him quickly,” Penguin growled. “I thought he was just a regular scumbag.”

“What’s important is that we got the drug out of you both in time,” Law cut in as he helped Nami sit up. “Uranos basically acts as a stimulant and aphrodisiac. If not treated quickly, it can cause enough brain damage to turn even the most level-headed person into a pleasure-addicted zombie. To say nothing of how much it fucks up your liver, kidneys, and reproductive organs.”

“At least your powers could get it out of us,” Nami stated, remembering how he’d managed to remove the birth control from her system.

“Yes, but given how many vital parts it effects and how fast it works, it takes a lot more concentration and energy than usual—especially since I couldn’t afford to treat you one at a time. I also find it’s easier when the patient’s unconscious; a slowed heart rate means the drug’s processed less quickly, plus it lessens the amount of distracting moaning and writhing from the patient. Not that it stops entirely,” he stated, nodding at the leather restraints.

She flushed. So that’s why he knocked her out. She could now clearly remember how she threw herself at him, practically begging him to fuck her. God, how humiliating! And to think she’d been so overwhelmed by need that she nearly hadn’t told Law about Ikkaku. If he hadn’t managed to trick the answer out of her…

“Thanks for getting us, Boss,” Ikkaku said, breaking the tense silence that fell upon the room.

Bepo gave her a faint smile as he rubbed her back, carefully avoiding scratching her with his claws. “Law’d never leave you two behind.”

“Jinzo didn’t think so,” she replied sourly, hands tightening into fists. “Planned on making Nami his star attraction, and he was going to hand me over to the bartender as a bonus for his ‘services’. Knew there was something off about that guy, especially when he wouldn’t get us water.”

“I’m sorry I left you alone with him,” Nami whispered guiltily, drawing her knees against her chest. Mandōreku had seemed so nice, but behind that charming smile had been utter scum. To think, she’d even encouraged her friend to give that creep a chance!

Ikkaku shook her head insistently. “Nami, I specifically told you to go to the bathroom because I had the feeling something was up, and I wanted you safely out of the way in case things turned violent. Which they did, and you ended up coming out and saving my ass anyway, so no harm, no foul.”

“What’s ‘foul’ is the fact that that bastard had enough uranos to spike the drinks of an entire bar,” Penguin snapped. Despite the girls being safe and sound, his scowl hadn’t eased up, and his posture still implied that he’d like to go out and kill something. But even though anger radiated off of him, he stayed put, not moving so much as an inch from his place by Ikkaku’s bed.

Gloved hand rubbing his goatee, Law nodded in agreement. “Uranos is extracted from a berry that only grows on a single island in the South Blue—Jinzo must have sunk a fortune into getting enough juice to dose a whole bar full of women. Just 15ml costs at least 50,000 belli.”

“If he got the shipment in recently, plus factoring in buying property, remodeling, paying his guards, and all his other expenses, no wonder he didn’t have the money to pay you and Drake,” Nami said, tallying up the rough costs of everything Jinzo had likely been spending in the past month.

Frown deepening, the surgeon looked at her in consideration. “He and Kimo-ya had always done well in the black market trade, but I guess with so many upstart pirates moving on to the New World to take advantage of the chaos, he wanted a fallback in case his normal clientele dried up. It’s not a bad plan, but he should never have tried to muscle in on Haiko-ya’s territory; she may be married to his partner, but she’s basically the unofficial ruler of Grimm’s nightlife.”

“Haiko’s that powerful?”

“She’s established quite the foothold over the past two years. Hiroshi once told me that, before she married Kimo-ya, Grimm was even worse; the dead bodies of whores were regularly found on street corners, drug lords ran rampant, you never knew if you were drinking alcohol or formaldehyde, and the slave trade was out of control. When Haiko-ya arrived, she used her influence to start cleaning things up. The first thing she did was reform the brothels; because of her, they’re now run like legitimate businesses with willing employees that are treated well.”

“Yeah? Jinzo seemed to have had other ideas,” Nami said softly. “He had us all drugged so he could cut down labor costs. No need to pay whores if they’re mindless sex slaves.”

Law scoffed. “Idiot. Women who take uranos have a life expectancy of a month, tops, and that’s still longer than men. Aside from the organ damage the drug can cause, being in a constant state of arousal like that typically results in dehydration, puts a massive strain on the heart, and when you’re only focused on fulfilling your sexual desires, basic human needs like eating and sleeping fall by the wayside. Most wither away to nothing.”

Penguin took off his hat to rub his forehead, scowl deepening. “So, even if he’d succeeded, once those girls died, he’d have to pay out again for a new batch of brain-fucked prostitutes.”

Nami shuddered at the thought. That could have been them. She would have died a mindless sex slave. Despite her life of servitude and the dangers she’d faced as a woman on the Grand Line, such a fate had never even occurred to her. Even when Absalom had kidnapped her and tried to marry her, she’d never even considered it—mainly because she’d been unconscious, but also because she never doubted that Sanji or Luffy or Zoro would save her. Those three always seemed to show up when she was in trouble. But Law…

She had far more faith in the Surgeon of Death than she used to, but it wasn’t the same instinctive trust that she had with her nakama—if she hadn’t gone looking for him, would he have shown up in time to get her and Ikkaku out of there? Luffy would drop everything if he even thought one of his friends was in trouble. Zoro, for all his terrible direction sense, never failed to stumble across her in the nick of time. Sanji had a sixth sense for women in danger. Even Usopp and Chopper, her fellow scaredy-cats, could be relied on to overcome their own fears if she were in trouble.

But Law had been on his own mission. The man had his own goals and priorities that wouldn’t always line up with hers. She couldn’t always rely on him to save her. She shouldn’t always rely on others.

Ignorant to the navigator’s inner turmoil, Law shook his head. “You’re assuming Haiko-ya would let him live that long. She already knew he was opening a brothel, so the second she caught even a whiff of uranos being used on the girls, she’d burn the place to the ground.”

“Unless…” Bepo began before stopping himself. “Sorry.”

“Unless what, Bepo?” Ikkaku asked curiously.

“Speak,” Law ordered, eyes narrowed.

The bear looked nervous as he twiddled his claws. “Well, what if Jinzo planned on getting Miss Haiko out of the way? With Mr. Kimo out of commission, it would be a lot easier for him to take over and drive her out. Or kill her. Or,” he swallowed harshly, “maybe even drug her and add her to the brothel.”

It made a sick amount of sense, and Nami watched Law’s gold eyes burn with understanding. “Haiko-ya probably suspected Jinzo was looking to take her out before his new business opened. That’s why she asked me to go after him last night.” Glare deepening, Law stalked towards the door, motioning for Penguin to follow. The first mate reluctantly left his post, tossing a concerned glance at Ikkaku before leaving the infirmary.

The room was filled with an uncomfortable silence until Nami uttered, “Bepo?”

“Yes, Nami?”

“What happened to the other girls? The ones in the club that were also drugged?”

Her fellow navigator seemed reluctant to answer, glancing around as if hoping someone would pop out to answer the unpleasant question for him. “Well…Captain’s primary concern was you two, but he did order us to sedate and deliver them to Miss Haiko. Once he was sure you would be alright, he went to see what he could do for them, but given how far gone most of them looked…” He bowed his head sadly. “I’m sorry.”

Nami bit her lip, tears welling up in her eyes as she stared down at the white tiled floor. Given all that she’d heard about the drug, she felt overwhelming pity for those girls. What would happen to them? What kind of lives could they expect? Did they have husbands or boyfriends or families? Would they ever know the girls’ fates? Were they better off not knowing?

“I’m so sorry, Nami,” Ikkaku murmured, catching her attention. The Heart Pirate looked utterly devastated, tears welling up in her dark eyes. “I was so, so stupid. I figured since Haiko’d been cleaning up the clubs and bars, it was safe to have a night out.”

“You couldn’t have known this would happen,” Nami replied weakly.

Bepo nodded emphatically as he pulled his crewmate into a tight hug. “Don’t blame yourself; even Law thought it was safe enough for you two to go out alone! New bars don’t open without Miss Haiko’s approval, after all. And with the way she’s been running things, it’s more dangerous to go out alone during the day than at night!”

“Really?” Nami asked, surprised.

“Oh yeah. Since Miss Haiko pretty much runs the island at night, she doesn’t get involved with things during the day. It’s the compromise she made with Mr. Kimo and Jinzo. So, slavers and stuff are still a problem while the sun’s up, but once things get dark, it’s a lot safer.”

“Kimo’s really ok with stuff like that?”

“Yeah,” Bepo said nervously, round ears drooping. “He may be more honorable than Jinzo, but he’s still pretty ruthless—wouldn’t be in the black market organ trade otherwise. Handing over control of the island at night to Miss Haiko was basically his wedding gift to her. Jinzo really hadn’t liked that—the red light district had been his domain.”

Frowning, Nami considered his words. Since arriving on Grimm, she’d assumed that Kimo was the lesser of the two evils between himself and Jinzo. But something wasn’t quite right; considering all the work that went into opening a new business, Jinzo must have been planning on starting the brothel for at least a month, if not two. Yet if Kimo had handed control of Grimm’s evening affairs over to Haiko, there was no way Jinzo would have dared disrespected his partner like that, right? And Kimo would have had to be completely stupid not to notice his partner muscling in on his wife’s territory.

Stupid, or in on it, Nami thought, eyes widening as she remembered her brief encounter with Haiko. The club owner had seemed pretty pissed about what had happened to her husband, but not nearly as distraught as one would expect from a woman whose beloved had been possibly assaulted by his long-time partner. And she’d been so quick to point the finger at Jinzo. More than eager to push a slighted Law in his direction. To step back and let someone else get their hands dirty.

It was all conjecture, and she had no proof, but Nami’s gut had told her when they first met that she was the kind of woman who could slit a man’s throat with a smile. And now her gut was saying Haiko was far more involved in this whole mess than she’d let on.

Lost in thought, Nami didn’t realize Law had returned until she heard a low, rapid thumping inches from her face. Looking up, she jumped back like a startled cat as she found herself staring at a beating heart in a translucent cube.

“What the hell is that?!” she screeched.

“I think that’s pretty obvious, Nami-ya; a heart. Specifically, Jinzo’s.”

“Why do you even have that?!”

Tossing the disembodied organ causally into the air and catching it with one hand, he replied, “Well, because I was a bit preoccupied with saving your life, I didn’t have the time to make that bastard suffer like I wanted to. So, I took his heart and handed the rest of him over to Drake-ya.” His grin was cruel and pleased, especially as the organ in his hand beat faster, clearly under some kind of distress. “When I explained the situation to him, he was more than happy to deliver justice in my stead. Especially since Haiko-ya agreed to pay him the money he’s owed, plus a bonus for taking care of this disgusting pest problem.”

“What’s Drake doing with him?” Ikkaku asked, glaring at the heart with cold determination.

“Torture. He promised to use every trick the Marines and his father ever taught him. Broken bones, waterboarding, hot pokers, acid in open wounds, bamboo shards under his nails—but he’s not allowed to kill him.” Gold eyes landed on Nami. “That’ll be my pleasure. Unless you’d like that honor for yourself?” he asked, offering the organ to the navigator like a macabre Valentine.

She gasped in horror. “I’m not killing anyone!”

“You sure? After what he did to you? Think about what would have happened, Nami-ya; he tried to make you a sex slave. He would have profited off your body and laughed as you served every sick scumbag willing to pay. You’d be used, abused, and at the mercy of men who’d only see you as a notch on their belts and a warm hole to fuck,” he sneered, grip on the fragile organ tightening unconsciously.

She shuddered. The picture Law painted wasn’t pretty. Just the thought of what she would have been reduced to made her want to vomit. She and Ikkaku and all those other girls…

Swallowing hard, Nami nervously met his cold eyes. “Law, did you manage to cure the other girls?” Bepo had been doubtful, but a small part of her prayed for a miracle from the doctor.

Law ran a hand through his dark hair. “Haiko-ya’s familiar with uranos—she had some anaphrodisiac on hand to hold back the effects, but not enough for everyone. Some I was able to fully cure. Others will likely be nymphomaniacs for the rest of their lives, but at least still have their higher reasoning intact. Several unfortunately succumbed to the permanent effect before I even got to them. And a few had been taking other drugs that didn’t play well with the addition of uranos and alcohol—needless to say, they died.”

Her throat tightened like a fist had wrapped around it. “Oh my god.”

Holding the rapidly-beating heart out towards her like a rose or box of chocolates, he asked coaxingly, “So, considering the number of lives Jinzo ruined tonight, are you sure you don’t want to give it a little squeeze?”

Fingers twitching, Nami was tempted to take him up on his offer. To grab that fragile organ and crush it between her fingers. To make Jinzo suffer in a way he never could have prepared for in the name of the women he’d been willing to use for his own ends.

But her conscience won out. She wasn’t a murderer. Maybe if it had been Arlong’s heart, she would have done it. This Fishman had spent nearly a decade pushing her to the breaking point. Hell, she’d tried to kill him at least a dozen different ways before resigning herself to the fragile glimmer of hope that he’d honor their deal and free her village.

She had no doubt that Jinzo was just as bad as Arlong, and he’d certainly wronged her and her friend, but as far as personal stakes went, Jinzo paled in comparison. So, even though he deserved it, she couldn’t bring herself to kill him in such a callous, ignoble way. Luffy would never approve. None of her nakama would. She didn’t give a damn about honor or fair fights, but killing him like this, when the man had no chance to fight back, was a slippery slope she didn’t want to go down.

Gingerly, Nami pushed Law’s hand away. “I’m sure. It just…I could never…”

The Surgeon of Death seemed disgruntled that she refused his macabre gift, but he got over it quickly. “Suit yourself. Ikkaku?”

The engineer seemed to consider it, but one look at Nami’s ashen face changed her mind. “Better take that somewhere else, Boss—I don’t give a shit what you do to that bastard, but Nami doesn’t need to see it.”

Law glanced at the woman in question before shrugging and tossing the heart onto an empty bed. Casually, he checked Ikkaku’s IV and stitches along her side as he said, “Fine. I should call Drake-ya first and see if he’s gotten bored of ripping chunks of flesh off of the bastard, anyway. Hate to interfere with his fun. Penguin’s getting your breakfast—eat up, then get dressed. The log pose has reset and we’re leaving Grimm no later than sunset. This visit has been an absolute shit show.” Satisfied with his engineer’s condition, Law retrieved Jinzo’s heart, tossing it up and down like a beanbag as he ordered, “If you have anything you wanted to pick up before we head off, this is your last chance—though you’re both wearing the uniforms. No arguments.”

“Fine by me,” Nami murmured, refusing to look at the vulnerable red organ.

Her chin was lifted gently, and she was forced to meet Law’s tired eyes. “Nami-ya, I promise the next island we land on will be much more relaxing. No black markets, drugs, or creepy psychopaths.”

“That…that sounds great, Law,” she replied uncomfortably.

“That’s it? No complaining? No demands for monetary compensation? No insults?” His frown deepened as he took a step back, taking care to keep Jinzo’s heart just out of her line of sight. “What’s on your mind, Nami-ya?

She worried her lip. Haiko was Law’s friend, or at least they were on good terms. Should she really risk inciting his anger by making accusations against her without proof?

Then again, Law was an intelligent man, and he knew the woman better than Nami did. If anyone could put her mind at ease and prove her theory right or wrong, it was him.

For better or worse, she’d trust his judgment.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, Nami asked, “Did Haiko ever tell you what kind of accident her husband was in?”

A dark blue eyebrow raised in bemusement. “No. We were a bit preoccupied with brainstorming ways of making Jinzo pay for his transgressions. I assume it was something pretty serious, though.”

“But she knows how good a doctor you are. You completely repaired Hiroshi’s hands. You can pull drugs and poison out of people and find out exactly what’s wrong with someone with your powers. Why wouldn’t she ask you to look Kimo over and see if you could help him?”

“Because—” Law paused, quickly realizing he had no answer. “That’s a very good question, Nami-ya.” Brow furrowing, he stood before her in deep thought for a few minutes, idly running his thumb over the heart in his hand. It continued to beat at a dizzying speed—Jinzo was terrified, in agony, or both.

Finally, with a dark glint in his golden eyes, the Dark Doctor stated, “I’ll look into it. As for you two; rest, eat, and be ready to set sail by tonight.”

“Aye-aye, Captain,” Ikkaku replied while Nami nodded mutely.

Without another word, Law stalked out of the infirmary, leaving the two women and the Mink alone.

Determined not to endure any more awkward silences, Bepo walked over to Nami, lifted her up like she weighed nothing, and carried her over to Ikkaku’s cot. The bear sat down and pulled both women onto his lap, hugging them close like they were a pair of dolls.

“You had us all worried,” he whimpered, rubbing his muzzle against Ikkaku’s tangled hair. After six hours and all the craziness that had ensued during that time, the dark strands were regaining their natural curl. “I thought we were going to lose you.”

Despite the stress and trauma she’d endured over the past few days, Nami couldn’t help but feel the need to reassure the sweet bear. “We’re ok, Bepo. You guys got to us just in time,” she promised, patting his soft fur comfortingly.

“We knew you’d never let us down,” Ikkaku agreed, smiling softly at the way the Mink nuzzled her.

“But what if we hadn’t—”

“If you’re worried, next time you’re coming with us on Ladies’ Night,” she offered.

“Yeah,” Nami chimed in. “No one would dare mess with us if we had our fierce Mink bodyguard with us!”

“I don’t think you’re getting a choice on the whole ‘bodyguard’ thing,” Bepo admitted. “Law was a wreck. Pretty sure he’s not going to let either of you off the ship for a while without either him or a whole entourage for protection. Sorry.”

As much as Nami wanted to be annoyed at this, she couldn’t blame the dark captain for such a precaution. Grimm had taught her that, if she wanted to get through the rest of the year in one piece, she was going to have to adapt to her situation better. Life with the Straw Hats had made her forget just how much danger a woman faced.

Ikkaku had said she was lucky to have kept her virginity for so long—that she had the chance to choose who to give her first time to—but she hadn’t fully realized just how lucky. Absalom, Jinzo, Harpin—she could have been raped by any one of them. And though she was fortunate enough to have powerful people looking after her, she needed to be better prepared to defend herself in the future. As it was, she was a liability, and she couldn’t always count on others to rescue her.

Resting her head against Bepo’s furry neck, she made a decision. “Hey, Ikkaku?”

“Yeah?”

“Think you could take a look at my Clima-Tact later? Maybe see if there’s a way to bulk up its attacks, or give me some tips on how to utilize it better? I…I don’t want you to feel like I’d be in the way of a fight again.” Usopp would probably freak that she’d let someone other than him mess around with his invention, but Nami was sure he’d understand that it was for the sake of survival.

“I didn’t exactly think you’d be in the way,” Ikkaku replied, though there was a hint of hesitation in her tone. “I just didn’t want you getting hurt. I mean, if it turned out Mandōreku had a gun, I couldn’t risk him shooting you.”

“I get it, but if I’m going to stand a chance in the New World, I need to up my game. I’m never going to be a great fighter like Luffy or Sanji-kun, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try to get stronger.”

The engineer smiled sympathetically. “Then sure, I’ll look at it. Honestly, I’ve been dying to study that thing for a while but didn’t want to overstep.”

“I appreciate it,” Nami said. She meant it, too; Ikkaku might have been blunt and a bit pushy at times, but it was good to hear that she really did respect Nami’s boundaries.

“If you want some combat training, I can teach you a few of my moves,” Bepo offered, turning to rub his fuzzy cheek against her forehead affectionately.

“That’d probably be a good idea. Law said it was time to start some combat training, but I’ve been avoiding it. Guess it’s time to bite the bullet.”

“You want to learn to catch a bullet with your teeth?!” the Mink asked, shocked. “Not even Law can do that!”

Neither Ikkaku nor Nami bothered to correct him. Not that they could have; both women were laughing too hard.

XXX

Several hours later, Nami, Law, Jean Bart, Shachi, Ikkaku, and Penguin were loading the last of the supplies onto the submarine. The two women weren’t really in any condition to do any heavy lifting, but Nami was determined to spend as much time outside as she could before they submerged, as she had no idea when she’d get the chance to enjoy fresh air again. Ikkaku had decided to keep her company while the men did most of the work, and Law had agreed to let them lounge on the docks as it allowed him to supervise the men and watch over the women at the same time.

Normally, Nami would be on edge from his scrutiny, but she barely noticed as she was more interested in the amount of attention Penguin was giving them. Or rather, Ikkaku. The first mate had come up with practically every excuse under the sun to come over to check on them, mostly under the guise of ensuring his crewmate didn’t do anything to pull her stiches.

“I swear, he thinks I’m an invalid,” Ikkaku scoffed as Penguin scuttled off to help Shachi load up the supplies for the greenhouse Clione had ordered. “I’m not going to tear my stiches getting a drink.”

“Give the guy a break—he was freaking out when he realized you were in danger last night,” Nami replied, sipping her tea as she reclined in her deck chair. Penguin had insisted on fetching them some from the galley to ward off the gloomy island’s chill. It was definitely appreciated; a thick fog had settled over the Fall island since mid-morning and, combined with the chilly ocean spray, even the normally warm navigator was getting goosebumps.

“I guess. He’s a good guy like that,” she acquiesced with a small, affectionate smile. “He’s always looking after the crew. Speaking of, how’re you holding up in the uniform? You’re not getting overheated again, are you?”

The navigator gave the beige jumpsuit she’d once again been saddled with a brief scowl. “I’m fine—just trying to think of ways to make this damn thing palatable without Law freaking out.”

“Maybe we could modify it or something—make you a custom version. So long as it’s got the Heart Pirate emblem on it, I’m sure Law wouldn’t mind if we made it a bit sexier,” she said with a suggestive wink. “Especially if he gets to parade you about like his very own mikan arm-candy.”

Before Nami could tell her off for such an absurd suggestion, the man in question approached as if sensing the girls were talking about him. “And how are the two princesses doing?” he asked, tone teasing as he leaned Kikoku against his shoulder. “Has Penguin started feeding you grapes and offering foot massages?”

“Sadly, not yet,” Ikkaku snickered. “Need something, Boss?”

“I’m going to go run an errand. I won’t be gone long, but until I get back, stay close to the ship.”

The two women shrugged. Law had been popping out to run various errands all day; at this point, none of the Heart Pirates gave it much thought anymore.

“Don’t worry,” Nami replied, waving away his concern as she sipped her tea. “If I never set foot on Grimm’s shores again, I’ll be a happy woman. The docks are as far as I plan to go.”

“Good to hear it. Anything you two want me to pick up while I’m out?”

“Being awful magnanimous there, Boss,” Ikkaku drawled, an eyebrow raising suspiciously. “You trying to butter us up? Bribe us?”

He gave an insincere, too-wide smile. “Maybe I just feel like spoiling my two most beautiful subordinates.”

“And now I know you’re up to something. Well, if you insist on buying our silence, you can get me a huge box of gourmet chocolates or something,” she quipped, smirking up at her captain challengingly.

“Make that two boxes,” Nami giggled. “One for each of us. And a case of the most expensive sake the island sells.”

Law rolled his eyes, exasperated. “Greedy wench. Should have known you wouldn’t settle for a coffee or something.”

“If you don’t like it, I take cash, too.”

“Speaking of, you still owe me—”

“Nope!” she cut him off. “You said I could pay you back in cash, or with a kiss. And guess what, oh Surgeon of Death? I distinctly recall kissing you last night.”

“Under the influence of a sex drug.”

“You never specified the circumstances of the kiss. As far as I’m concerned, we’re even.”

Law let out an annoyed tch, and it took Nami a ridiculous amount of willpower to keep from commenting on the fact that the infamous Supernova was basically pouting. “Fine. I should be back in a half-hour. If I’m not, avenge my death.”

“Will do, Boss,” Ikkaku replied as she reclined in her seat, unbothered by the concept of her captain’s grisly demise. Not that she had reason to be—word had quickly spread about what had happened to Jinzo, so even if any of his former subordinates wanted revenge, only the truly stupid would risk their boss’ fate.

A blue bubble encased him and Law vanished before their eyes. Not wasting any time, the engineer turned to her companion. “So, you kissed him, huh?”

Nami scowled half-heartedly at her. “Because of the uranos.”

“Sure, sure,” Ikkaku chuckled but didn’t press the topic any further. It was good that she was feeling comfortable enough to make the occasional joke about last night’s debacle, but Nami could tell she didn’t wish to dwell on it longer than needed. There was a moment of comfortable silence between them before Ikkaku sighed. “Damn, now that he’s mentioned it, I kinda do want that foot massage. I’m getting a little cold, too; I’m gonna see if I can talk Penguin into giving one inside. You in?”

“Nah, I’m good. I think I’ll stay here and enjoy the fresh air a little longer. Go treat yourself!” she laughed, shooing the engineer away.

Normally, Nami rarely said no to a free foot massage, but she had the sneaking suspicion that Penguin wouldn’t mind doting on just Ikkaku for a while. With all his hovering, concern, and fury towards her attacker, Nami was beginning to theorize that the first mate might just have a burgeoning crush on the beautiful engineer. And even if she was completely off-base, Ikkaku deserved a little extra pampering after the night she’d had.

As Ikkaku meandered back into the sub, Nami wandered over to the edge of the pier, giving Jean Bart and Shachi a reassuring wave when they made to get up from where they were resting atop a stack of crates. Making sure to stay in their line of sight and within shouting distance, she stood there for several peaceful moments and relished the feel of the ocean spray on her face. She hoped the journey to the next island wasn’t too long—Grimm was damp and chilly and grey and an overall miserable experience, but she certainly hadn’t been bored.

“You seem to be doing well.”

Nami whirled around to find herself face-to-chest with Drake. Instinctively, her hand went to her Clima-Tact—Law had practically strapped it to her leg himself, though she doubted she’d risk leaving the submarine without it again.

Drake looked down at her critically, blue eyes lingering briefly upon the Heart Pirate insignia on her breast pocket before snapping back up to her face, a faint blush rising to his cheeks as he realized exactly where he’d been staring. He coughed into his fist awkwardly, waiting a moment for his composure to return. “I heard you ran amuck of some uranos. I suppose it’s a good thing you had Trafalgar for a temporary captain. I loathe the man, but his medical skills are beyond compare,” he spat as if giving Law even the slightest bit of praise filled his mouth with a foul taste.

“Y-yeah, he really came through for me,” Nami said nervously, fingers twitching above her batons.

Drake noticed her disquiet and took a half-step back, putting a respectable amount of distance between them. “I’m not here to kidnap you, Miss Nami—especially not with your companions ready to attack if I so much as blink at you wrong.”

Her anxiety eased up at the reminder. Glancing at her shipmates over her shoulder, she noticed Shachi glaring daggers at the rival captain through his sunglasses as he polished his rifle. Next to him, Jean Bart cracked his knuckles meaningfully. Confidence returning with the knowledge that she had good people watching her back, she returned her attention to Drake, hand retreating from her weapon to rest elegantly on her hip. “Smart man, though if abduction’s not on the agenda, why are you here?”

“Partially to check up on you. I was concerned Trafalgar would want to take advantage of you in your drug-addled state.”

“Law would never!” she snapped, instantly offended on the Dark Doctor’s behalf. The man may have been a sadistic, flirty bastard, but she instinctively knew he had never considered using her like Jinzo had intended. After all, she’d basically offered herself up on a silver platter, and when he’d kissed her back, it had been for the sake of distracting her. Law was a lot of terrible things, but “rapist” was not among them.

Holding up his hands in surrender, Drake raised an eyebrow at her outburst. “You’ve certainly changed your tune. Just two days ago you told me you didn’t even like him and literally begged me to help you strip off his uniform. I’d hoped you’d be smart enough not to fall for his seduction techniques so easily.”

“I haven’t fallen for anything—I’ve just realized that, even if he is a creepy asshole, he’s at least got enough honor to keep me safe from other scumbags. He’s the lesser of the evils out there.” Biting her lip, she reluctantly brought up, “By the way, I heard that you’re the one who…took care of Jinzo.”

With a nonchalant shrug he replied, “Normally, doing anything that benefits Trafalgar turns my stomach, but I was willing to make an exception in this case. The lesser of the evils and whatnot. That, and Haiko offered me a rather impressive sum of belli in exchange. I certainly wasn’t going to turn down that kind of deal—especially when I found out what Jinzo had done.”

“You…said he owed you a lot of money for something. What was it?” she asked, not sure she wanted to know the answer.

Piercing blue eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms. “You’re not accusing me of selling him uranos, are you?”

“Jinzo did sink a small fortune into getting his hands on enough to drug a whole bar. Maybe it wasn’t the only thing you sold him, but you did say he owed you 600 million belli,” she countered, though her heart wasn’t in it. Drake may have been a dangerous Supernova and attempted kidnapper but considering how he’d seemed rather shy around unclothed women, she highly doubted that he’d supply a drug that would turn girls into sex-slaves. Still, it didn’t hurt to check.

His answering glower put doubt into that thought, though. “Miss Nami, I understand you’ve been through a traumatic ordeal, and thus I’ll humor your idiotic accusation—no,” he stated, voice barely more than a deep, threatening growl. “What he and Kimo owed me money for was a job they requested assistance on, plus I had raided a merchant ship full of uncut diamonds, platinum, and silk. And considering how you relieved Jinzo of his cash, even if I did bring in the uranos, do you really think I’d hand it over without getting paid?”

Ice water ran though her veins at his tone. Drake was deeply offended at her allegation. She couldn’t blame him—despite the near-abduction, he’d been remarkably courteous to her since they’d first met. Besides that, even if he wasn’t a Marine anymore, it was clear he was far more honorable than most pirates. But every man had his limits, and if she didn’t lighten the mood fast, she might end up sharing Jinzo’s fate. Backing up a half-step and holding out her hands as if to calm down an angry beast, Nami simpered, “Hey, I’m sorry! You’re right—it was stupid of me to think you had anything to do with this. I-I’ve been through a lot over the past couple days and wasn’t thinking straight!”

Drake took a deep breath, and the tension eased from his shoulders as his hands fell to his sides. Behind her, Nami could hear the safety of a gun clicking, and she suspected her bodyguards had something to do with his new calm. “I may be a pirate, Miss Nami, but I don’t care for my honor being questioned.”

“I’ll remember that.”

His stern expression softened at her obvious fear. A large hand rubbed the back of his neck with a hint of embarrassment. “I confess, though, I do now feel a bit guilty for even considering selling you to that madman. Uranos is nasty business—rumor has it that the Navy briefly considered using it as a form of torture for female pirates in Impel Down, but Sengoku shot it down.”

Bile burned the back of her throat at the mere thought. “Dare I ask who proposed that option?”

“I believe you robbed his mansion last month.”

A disgusted shudder wracked her body. Of course that perverted psychopath would suggest such a thing. Considering Harpin’s low view of women and shady dealings, she wouldn’t have been surprised if he suggested it so he could get his hands on some for his own depraved use.

“God, the Navy employs the sickest people,” she groused. “How can they even look at themselves in the mirror?”

“People will go to quite the extremes in the name of Justice,” Drake answered, tilting his head down so his face was cast in shadow. “You can’t always stop evil by playing by the rules.”

Nami bit her lip. She probably shouldn’t be discussing such things with a former Rear-Admiral. Even if he had no love for his former leaders, she doubted such a conversation would go anywhere pleasant. She was trying to keep the mood light, after all. “Right. So, where are you heading next? Off to the New World?”

“No, not yet. It’s still too chaotic on the other side. Perhaps in a few months, when the waves of idiots looking to make a name for themselves have all killed each other. If I hope to stand out, I can’t just be another voice screaming for attention.”

“Not the worst plan in the world, I guess.” In fact, it was pretty similar to Law’s. Perhaps all North Blue pirates were this pragmatic—it seemed they were the only ones willing to wait for the best moment to strike instead of recklessly rushing into certain death.

“So glad you approve,” he replied sarcastically, though there was an amused tilt to his lips. “I may also be staying on this side for the sake of enjoying Paradise while it’s unusually peaceful—it’s almost like a vacation.”

Just like that, the rest of the tension between them dissolved like sugar in hot tea, and Nami found herself able to relax. Drake was an intimidating man, especially when he was angry, but like Law, he didn’t seem the type to cause trouble unless he could gain from it. Especially not with the Heart Pirates so close by.

That in mind, Nami gave him a small smile, intent of staying in his good graces. “By the way, thank you for…what you did to Jinzo. I’m sure getting payback on my behalf wasn’t a factor in your decision, but it’s good to have the peace of mind knowing he won’t be coming after me again.” Death and torture were never things she’d be able to condone, but it seemed smarter to praise Drake rather than condemn him.

Broad shoulders lifted in a mild shrug, but the large captain seemed pleased enough at her gratitude. “Honestly, while it wasn’t at the top of my list of reasons, when I was informed that he’d drugged you, it did help sway my decision. I thought perhaps my act of chivalry might help you see sense and convince you to join me instead of Trafalgar.”

A wry smile curled her lips and she jutted out her hip as she replied sassily, “Torturing a guy isn’t a great way to earn a lady’s affections, though points for creativity.”

Drake blushed slightly at the mild teasing in her tone, pulling the brim of his hat a bit further down to hide it the damning tinge of pink. “Perhaps not my preferred way to win you over, but I work with what I have.”

Intent on keeping the mood light, she teased, “Well, Captain Drake, how would you prefer to ‘win me over’, as you put it? A shopping trip? Candlelit dinner? A long stroll on the beach under the stars?”

“I’d rather appeal to your sense of reason—you’re an intelligent woman from what I’ve seen, and surely by this point Trafalgar would have shown you his true colors. While he might not be the absolute worst piece of scum sailing the ocean, you’re better off without him. That insane bastard will bring you nothing but trouble.”

Part of her appreciated the fact that Drake seemed even the slightest bit concerned for her safety—it was always good to have allies, after all. “Law’s a little unhinged, I’ll admit, but still far from the worst captain I’ve ever served under. He’s loyal and protective of his crew, and I guess that includes me now. That, and I have this sneaking suspicion that you only want me because I’m his.” She blinked before smacking her forehead with her palm, cheeks burning bright red. “That didn’t come out right.”

Drake let out a faint chuckle as he closed the distance between them with a few casual steps. “Whether or not you meant it that way, you’re not wrong. Considering all the times he’s gone out of his way just to screw me over, I wouldn’t mind the chance for some payback.” He leaned in, his voice a seductive growl in her ear as he continued, “And what better way to do it than to steal away the woman he clearly plans to fuck?”

“Wha—”

“Back it up there, Drake,” Shachi snapped as he audibly clicked the safety of his gun off again, raising the rifle meaningfully. “We cut you some slack when you badmouthed the boss, but trying to seduce our Cat Thief is a big no-no.”

Nami shivered as a puff of Drake’s hot breath danced against her neck when he scoffed. “Oh? Don’t you have faith in her loyalty to your captain? Or do you think she’d be so easily seduced?”

“Like you said, Miss Nami’s a smart woman,” Jean Bart replied, once more cracking his knuckles, ready to fight. “Smart enough not to fall for such an obvious ploy from a guy who tried to kidnap her just two days ago.”

“Then you boys have no reason to worry.” His attention returned to the woman in question when he felt her small hand lightly press against his torso. “So, what will it be, Miss Nami? Surely such a gorgeous, intelligent woman knows she deserves a better captain than an unhinged scoundrel like Trafalgar. Someone like me. Perhaps I could convince you over a bottle of wine in my cabin.”

Memories of the fantasy she’d shared with Ikkaku about how she’d seduce Drake popped into her head. She certainly hadn’t imagined he’d try to beat her to the punch like this. But while his attempt was admirable, the execution was unrefined. He had the proximity and the low, coaxing tone down, but he wasn’t even trying to touch her. He was smart to compliment her looks and intelligence, but he wasn’t quite making her feel wanted. Or maybe she’d just gotten used to Law’s much more patient, methodical approach. In fact, she couldn’t help but wonder if Drake was trying to imitate him but wasn’t quite comfortable enough to commit.

And too bad for him, when a Cat Thief like her sensed weakness, she took advantage.

“Hmm, I admit it’s a tempting offer,” Nami cooed, playfully running her fingers along the fur trim of his bolero. Large brown eyes gazed up at him through long lashes as she continued, “Having the famous X Drake so interested in little old me is certainly doing wonders for my ego. And what woman wouldn’t want to serve under such a big, strong, handsome captain?” For extra measure, she blew a light stream of air against the bare skin of his sternum as she drew a little heart on his prominent abdominal muscles.

Drake’s face turned the same shade as his hair, prompting Nami to laugh and drop the act, stepping away from him. “Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure that if I ran off with one of his rivals, Law wouldn’t take too kindly to it. But I’ll keep it in mind.”

Growling faintly in annoyance at how easily she’d gotten under his skin, Drake sought to compose himself by dusting off imaginary dirt from his sleeves. “Hmph. Well, in case you do come to your senses, just know the offer expires when I leave for the New World.”

“Fair. Now, unless you were looking to say goodbye to Law…” she trailed off, suggestively wagging her eyebrows.

Any composure Drake might have regained fell away instantly. “It was bad enough dealing with that smarmy bastard over the phone,” he snapped, ears burning brightly. Given what she knew of their interactions, Nami could guess that call had been utterly dripping with Law’s smug, suggestive flirtations. No wonder Drake had waited until he was gone to approach her. “All I have to say to him is ‘burn in Hell’!”

“Well, unless you plan on telling him that yourself, you should get going—he’s due back any minute,” she warned with a teasing smile. She’d never admit it out loud, but Law had been right—the best way to deal with Drake was to lean into the sexual tension to knock him off balance.

“Fine,” he growled, shoving his hands into his pockets and marching away with his head held deceptively high. “One last bit of advice, Miss Nami—I know it’s inevitable, but at least make him work for it before you sleep with him.”

Her jaw dropped in shock and outrage. “You—I’m not going to sleep with that jerk!”

“That’s the spirit,” he replied dryly over his shoulder, his large silhouette fading into the fog.

Once the former Marine was out of sight, Shachi was at her side, leaning his elbow on her shoulder. “You ok, Nami?”

The red haired thief was grateful for the cool air, as it helped her blush fade more quickly. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for having my back.”

“No problem. Glad we didn’t have to fight him, though. I hate to say it, but Drake’s got a higher bounty than Law for a good reason—guy turns into a total monster during a fight.”

“Literally or figuratively?”

“Yes.”

“Of course,” she sighed. Not that she was surprised—she’d seen his hand become a green scaled claw back in the alley, and she’d heard rumors that he could transform into carnivorous dinosaur of some kind. “How long until we plan on leaving?”

“Probably no more than an hour,” Jean Bart replied, hoisting up one of the larger supply crates. “Why? Need to get anything before we go?”

A cat-like smirk curled her lips as she fanned herself with a wad of cash. “Nah. I’d just rather we be on our way before Drake realizes he’s missing a few thousand belli.”

Shachi immediately doubled over laughing. “Holy fuck! When did you pull that off?!”

“When you two were distracting him with your chivalrous display,” she said evenly, tucking the money into her breast pocket. Even if Drake did realize his wallet was suddenly empty, there was no chance he’d dare let his hand go anywhere near her cleavage.

“Seems you three are having fun,” Law said, appearing like a specter from the thick fog, Room dissipating around him. “What did I miss?”

“Just Miss Nami picking Drake’s pocket,” Jean Bart said with a chuckle, picking up the crate of sake that had appeared with his captain and hauling it towards the submarine.

“Dumbass tried to seduce her and got robbed for his troubles,” Shachi explained gleefully, though it was replaced with a low grunt as two massive boxes of assorted gourmet chocolate were dropped into his arms. He let out another oof as Kikoku unceremoniously landed on top of them.

“Drake-ya tried to seduce you?” the captain asked Nami, lips curling into a smirk. “Without my permission? I’m not sure if I should be pissed at him or proud.”

“Does he need your permission to seduce me?” Nami scoffed lightly. “Maybe I should have gone with him; having an actual gentleman for a captain would make a nice change.”

“I’m surprised he didn’t try to appeal to your desire for a more flattering uniform.”

“Wait, they have better uniforms? Drake, come back!” she called mockingly, making a show of trying to run off in the older captain’s direction.

Chuckling, Law caught her arm and pulled her back against him. “Shachi, bring those boxes to the girls’ room and check the cargo hold to make sure we have all the provisions we need.”

“Aye-aye, Captain,” Shachi replied, already halfway to the sub. He knew Law was just giving him busywork to get some alone time with the beautiful thief, but he wasn’t going to argue—if Law wanted to, he could easily just Shambles him to the other side of the island to get rid of him.

The Dark Doctor didn’t get to enjoy that alone time for long, though, as his second mate was quickly replaced by a second redhead, though this one was far more beautiful and curvaceous.

“Hello Law,” Haiko purred, her ruby lips curled upwards in a satisfied smile. In stark contrast to the sexy silver dress she’d preformed in, today she wore a smart black blazer with a tight pencil skirt, though her generous cleavage was tactically on display. “Your work last night was exemplary. I’m going to have to think of new VIP perks to give you. Maybe have Hiroshi write another song.”

Nami tensed at the appearance of the seductive club owner. She still had no idea what was up with her—if Haiko could be fully trusted. Law had said he’d look into it, but had he? Or had he just said that to appease his suspicious shipmate?

“Thank you, Haiko-ya,” Law replied casually, though it didn’t escape Nami’s notice that he placed himself deliberately between the two women. “How are Jinzo’s victims?”

The assured smile fell slightly. “I sent the ones you cured home to their families. The dead will hopefully be identified and given proper burials.”

“And the nymphos?”

“A few are going to try and return to their normal lives. The others…I’ve offered them employment at one of my brothels—if they’re going to crave sex for the rest of their lives, they might as well get paid for it. And at least with me they’ll be safe.”

“Very generous of you.”

Though she waved off the comment, Nami could see the subtle stiffness in her posture—as if she were an actress not entirely comfortable with the character she had to portray. “It’s the least I can do. If I’d taken care of Jinzo earlier, none of this would have happened.”

“I can’t argue with that. Though he must have done a great job covering his tracks to keep both you and Kimo-ya from realizing he intended to muscle in on your territory. What will happen to the black market trade now?”

Her easy confidence returned—when it came to talking business, Haiko was clearly in her element. “Well, since I’ll have my hands full keeping that from imploding, I’m entrusting Oscar with running the red light district. Hiroshi can manage Ruby 8 until things settle down. I admit, since so many of your peers have run off to the New World, the black market’s taken a bit of a dip in profits.”

“And with fewer pirates around, the island’s entertainment and legitimate businesses must have been more accessible to citizens and other visitors.”

“All the more reason to clean this town up, I suppose.”

“Kimo-ya won’t be happy about that,” Law said casually, studying his nails.

She shrugged, though her red lips turned in a subtle frown. “My husband’s a crime lord—to him, rampant rape, drugs, and murder meant that his clientele were happy. But when such a thing is the norm, it’s only a matter of time before you fall victim to it yourself.”

“Of course. It’s easy to rule the underworld when everyone else is a good, law-abiding citizen.”

Seductive smirk returning to her face, Haiko playfully stroked Law’s goatee. “Oh, don’t worry, Dr. Heart Stealer; you’ll still have a place to sell of your ill-gotten goods, and after last night, you can expect VIP treatment at any of Grimm’s fine establishments.”

The Surgeon of Death flashed a devilish smirk. “Good to hear. And without the risk of drugging, rape, and kidnapping, maybe next time we visit, Nami-ya will be able to actually enjoy herself.”

Pulling her hand away from Law’s face, Haiko turned to Nami, green eyes apologetic. “Yes, I heard you were one of the girls Jinzo’s goons drugged. It’s good to see you’re doing well. No one hurt you, did they?”

“I’m fine,” Nami replied, shifting uncomfortably. Though her concern over the thief’s welfare felt sincere, she still wasn’t sure if the island’s new Queenpin had a hand in the island’s drastic power shift, or if she was just taking advantage of the opportunity she’d been presented with her husband and Jinzo’s removal. Her goals at least appeared admirable.

“If you’re ever back in Grimm, you’re welcome at Ruby 8 anytime. In fact, next visit your meals and drinks are on the house.”

Law stepped between them again, and for a brief moment, Nami felt him run a reassuring hand over her back. “Perhaps by that point, Kimo-ya will have recovered—we can make it a double date.”

“Oh, I doubt that,” Haiko stated, a nearly imperceptible tightness in her jaw. “My medical staff says that with the damage he suffered, even if he does wake up, he’ll be confined to his bed for the rest of his life. He took a tremendous fall down the stairs and broke his neck, you see.”

“Was that before or after he was stabbed in the liver?”

Green eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?”

This time, Law blatantly pushed Nami behind him, looming dangerously over the older businesswoman as they stared each other down. “Well, since I seemed to be in the habit of doing you favors, I thought I’d add to my good karma and stop by your house to see if I could do anything to heal your beloved husband. He certainly has a broken neck, and the bruises and cracked skull line up with your story, but that stab wound sticks out like a sore thumb.”

Haiko’s stone-cold expression would put a professional poker player’s to shame. “Well, the fall did break a few steps—perhaps he landed on a sharp piece of wood.”

Law’s own face was just as unreadable. “No, the size and shape clearly indicate that it was a knife. A small one that a lady could easily hide under her dress. I also noticed that your home doesn’t have any stairs.”

Her expression hardened, a fierce green fire flickering in her eyes. “Are you accusing me of harming my husband, Captain Trafalgar?”

“Haiko-ya, you’re a woman I genuinely admire—you’re cunning and determined, yet you still have standards higher than most of the criminal underworld. You’ve come a long way from that underground gin joint you started in the North Blue. You’ve spent years cleaning up the brothels and bars on Grimm; I’d certainly be upset to find my husband was conspiring to undo all of my hard work simply because he couldn’t adapt to the changing times.”

Nami held her breath as she and Law awaited her answer. This was the moment of truth.

“That’s quite the theory you have,” Haiko replied coolly, crossing her arms and raising an auburn eyebrow. The anger in her gaze dimmed down into a tranquil simmer. “Do you have any proof?”

“Nothing physical, nor do I really care—if you stabbed Kimo, I have no doubt it was well-deserved. Perhaps it was even an accident, or in self-defense.”

“Or perhaps you’re just making baseless accusations.”

“Haiko-ya, it doesn’t matter to me what really happened. If anything, I imagine you’ll be a better business partner than either of them. I simply don’t appreciate being used and lied to.”

When she gave no reply, Law gave Nami a meaningful look, gold eyes flicking down to her Clima-Tact before holding her gaze intently. “Nami-ya, why don’t you disappear for a bit? I think this is a conversation Haiko-ya and I should have without an audience.”

Catching on, she nodded, ducking inside the Polar Tang just out of sight. While Law distracted the club owner by leading her towards the edge of the pier, Nami quickly cast her Mirage Tempo, rendering herself invisible so she could sneak back over, footsteps silent as a cat’s paws. For extra measure, she crouched behind a nearby crate, peaking her head over the top so she could watch the duo’s interactions.

Law casually slung his arm over Haiko’s narrow shoulders, dropping his voice so only Nami could eavesdrop. “Look, I know power struggles are common in the underworld, and innocents getting caught in the middle happens. However, this little spat hurt two of my subordinates. I’m sure you understand that, if something like this were to happen again, I’d take it upon myself to wipe out both sides of the conflict in revenge, correct?”

The redhead stiffened. “Of course, Law.”

“Good. Because I respect your reasons—Kimo and Jinzo betrayed you. Tried to undo all your hard work because their own profits were down. Potentially even planned to slip you a little uranos out of spite. But I won’t stand for someone else’s grudge putting my crew in danger. Nor do I tolerate being used—if you want me to kill someone for you in the future, I expect you to be straight with me instead of treating me like a pawn.”

For a moment, Haiko stood in silence, staring out at the churning waves as they slapped against the pier. Finally, she spoke, voice tight and minutely vulnerable. “A few nights ago…Kimo came to Ruby 8 with a few of his thugs after closing. We argued about him helping Jinzo open a brothel under my nose—he said if I didn’t give the red light district back, he’d burn my club to the ground and put me to work as one of the whores.”

“Is that when you stabbed him?” Law asked, tone even and calm.

“Of course. Oscar and the band overheard the commotion and took care of the thugs while I ran, but Kimo followed me to the top of the stairs…”

“Well, that lines up with what Hiroshi told me. I appreciate your honesty.”

“You questioned Hiroshi?” she asked, angered at the musician’s betrayal.

“You forget—he owes me. I guess he also figured I’d be more lenient with you if I knew how you’d been backed into a corner.” Law paused, letting the tension between them simmer before he admitted, “He was right. Kimo deserved what you gave him, and if I hear he’s tragically succumbed to his wounds, well, I won’t shed any tears.”

Haiko sighed, shoulders sagging in relief. “I wanted to trust you, but you had a profitable partnership with Kimo. I couldn’t be sure whose side you’d be on—I just knew it wouldn’t be Jinzo’s.”

“A common enemy is a good hook for an alliance—I just hope you plan to be more honest with me if you intend on maintaining our partnership.”

“Of course.”

A shadow fell across his eyes as he turned the woman so she fully faced him. “Did you know about the uranos shipment?”

“No. Nor was I aware that Venus would be used to distribute it,” Haiko explained, looking him straight in the eye. “The owner was new but on the level; he had my full permission to host a Ladies Night to attract customers. When I went to confront him this morning, I found his body—he’s been dead for at least a few days.”

Nodding at her answer, Law’s somber expression relaxed. “Good. Because not telling me about Kimo and Jinzo’s betrayal is forgivable. Not warning me about the uranos…”

“I am truly sorry your girlfriend and engineer were subjected to that.”

Nami had to physically slap a hand over her mouth to keep from screaming “I’m not his girlfriend!” She doubted Haiko would appreciate it if she found out she was being spied on, and Law would be pissed that she’d ruined his plan.

Perhaps he could feel her rage, because Nami caught Law’s amber eyes glance in her general direction before returning to Haiko. “Pretty words aren’t the kind of apology I’m interested in. I expect compensation.”

Haiko’s confident, naturally seductive grim returned as she leaned in, running a finger along the Heart Pirate insignia on his sweatshirt. “Oh? And what exactly did you have in mind?”

“I’m sure you’ve already thought of something—I doubt you would have come all this way just to say goodbye.”

“That I have; in fact, it’s exactly why I came down here. Two weeks ago, a man named Dira tried to sell Kimo and Jinzo some items. Most of it was junk, but there were a few things that stood out. One of them was a lovely white vase.”

“Are you seriously offering me a vase as reparations for Nami-ya and Ikkaku nearly becoming sex slaves?” he sneered, eyes narrowing in offense. Nami bristled in solidarity. She didn’t care how drop-dead gorgeous Haiko was; unless said vase was made of platinum and filled to the brim with belli and gems, she’d kick the older woman’s ass for being so cheap!

“Oh, no—the vase isn’t even here!” Haiko replied, smile never wavering despite the anger radiating from the Dark Doctor. “Once he realized what it was made from, Kimo turned it down and told the man to take his wares elsewhere.”

“And what, pray tell, was it made of?” Law asked sarcastically, patience wearing thin.

Her manicured hands reached up to smooth out the wrinkles in his sweatshirt. “At first, they thought it was marble or alabaster, but upon closer inspection, Jinzo realized that the white was just paint. It took a little arm-twisting, but Dira admitted that the vase originated from a certain tragic island in the North Blue.”

That immediately caught the surgeon’s attention, and the full focus of those golden eyes was fixated on the club owner. The hostility vanished, replaced by cool intent. “Where did he go?”

“Atifakuto. None of us wanted something coated in Amber Lead, of course, but I remembered you once mentioning that you had an interest in such items. In fact, I even have an eternal pose to the island—I took my last vacation there.” Reaching into her generous cleavage, she pulled out the hourglass-shaped device. As she handed it to the pirate captain, she fluttered her long lashes sweetly. “So, am I forgiven?”

“…for the most part. You’d better not be playing me, Haiko-ya,” Law replied, studying the magnetic compass intently, looking for anything that might give away whether or not it was fake.

“I think I’ve learned my lesson about leading on The Surgeon of Death. You did me a favor, so I’m returning in kind.” Standing up on her tip-toes, she brushed a kiss to his jaw. “I do hope you visit again soon. And treat that Cat Thief of yours right—maybe it’s the red hair, but she reminds me of myself at that age.”

“Unscrupulous and greedy?” he asked, taking her hand and pressing his own farewell kiss to her knuckles.

“And a magnet for dangerous men,” she purred as she flounced away. “Safe travels, Captain Trafalgar. Always a pleasure doing business with you.”

When the new Queenpin of Grimm was out of sight, Nami dropped her illusion, jogging over to Law. “Well, that was…quite the conversation.” Part of her was relieved—Haiko had done some shady things, but she couldn’t fault her reasons. Another part was flattered. She was a dangerous, stunning, formidable woman—someone Nami could certainly admire and wouldn’t mind becoming someday. Though, she hoped she’d manage to avoid marrying someone who’d betray her.

And one tiny, sneaky part of her burned with irrational jealousy over the fact that Haiko had kissed him. It shouldn’t matter—Law was obnoxious and arrogant and certainly not someone she had any intention of kissing when not under duress. But for some reason, she had been really tempted to use her Cyclone Tempo to knock her into the water.

“That it was. Seems a trip to Atifakuto is in order,” Law said lowly, the brim of his hat casting a shadow across his eyes as his tips twisted in a sullen frown.

Nami’s brow furrowed. She knew Law had some kind of interest in Amber Lead, but why would he want to hunt some down? “Is that our next destination?”

He rubbed his goatee in brooding thought as his eyes fixated on the delicate needle pointing towards the horizon. Nami could practically see the wheels in his head turning, an internal argument raging in his mind. His body was as stiff as a cadaver’s, the tendons in his neck straining as he held in whatever powerful emotions he was feeling.

Finally, he shoved the eternal pose into his pocket and answered, “Not yet. I promised you the next island we landed on would be far more relaxing, and I need time to plan, anyway. But don’t expect a long vacation; I can’t let the trail grow cold.”

She sighed in relief. After the horrors of Grimm, she was in desperate need of a breather. Especially if they ended up going after an artifact from Flevance; she’d only heard tragic stories about that place. How they’d once been prosperous and highly-renowned, until the whole country had come down with a horrible, incurable disease. A disease that, if Law was to be believed, hadn’t been as contagious as the World Government had claimed.

Before she could ask any questions, Law pressed his hand between her shoulders, gently but insistently leading her towards the Polar Tang. The darkness in his expression had faded significantly, and his sly smirk was back in place. It felt phony, though—like a mask. “By the way, I appreciate you staying close. Considering what she did to her husband, I half expected Haiko-ya to stab me and push me off the pier.”

“Yeah, I figured you only wanted me there so I could save your ass,” she snipped, though her heart wasn’t quite in it. Law had berated Haiko about being honest with him, yet it felt like he was putting up a front with her. Sure, it wasn’t quite the same—Haiko had been using him, while Law seemed to be just keeping his thoughts to himself—but the slight hypocrisy grated at her.

At the same time, she couldn’t entirely fault him for it. Their relationship and sense of trust in each other had certainly improved over the past twenty-four hours, but she couldn’t blame him for not enlightening her to his troubled thoughts. She only hoped he’d confide in Penguin or Bepo.

“The singular pitfall of wielding the awesome power of a Devil Fruit—water is your nemesis,” he replied sourly.

“Then why’d you lead her so close to the dock’s edge?”

“To make her feel less threatened. Her husband attacked in her own bar. Ruby 8 is as much home to her as the Tang is to us. People value that illusion of safety; when it’s compromised, especially by someone we should trust, it can turn someone into a skittish, feral animal.”

“Ah. Yeah, makes sense,” she replied as they stepped through the submarine door. He definitely had a point—if she’d been attacked on the Thousand Sunny, a place she’d always felt safe and secure in, she’d probably be on-edge for months. “It was still a risky move, though.”

“But a calculated one. Did you really think I’d accuse a woman as cunning and dangerous as her without a plan, or at least a basic understanding of how her mind works?” he asked, dark blue eyebrow raised in annoyance.

“No, but are you confident enough in that understanding to guarantee she’s not sending us to our deaths?”

“Another reason to take a slight detour and recover our strength before heading to Atifakuto,” he said nonchalantly, smirk becoming darker but more genuine. “I’m not particularly worried, though. Haiko and I think alike in many ways; she values long-term planning. She knows she only has one shot at killing me, so she wouldn’t risk it all on a scheme she threw together in a day. She’d wait until I least expected it, even if it took years, all the while carefully moving the pieces into place. And when she struck, she’d get the outcome she wanted no matter how the cards fell.”

“Do you…have someone you’re planning to kill?” Nami asked, a hint of nervousness bleeding into her voice. “Because you sound like you’re speaking from experience.”

“No one you’ve met, and no one you’d miss,” he said vaguely, his hand finally moving from her back so he could climb down the ladder to the next level. “You should worry more about getting stronger and preparing for the New World; Bepo tells me you’re finally ready to start combat training.”

“Let’s just say Grimm’s been a bit of an eye-opener,” she replied, carefully climbing down after him. Her heeled sandals made a reverberating clank as she stepped down onto the metal floor. “Luffy can’t risk me being a liability—if I can’t handle myself in Paradise, I’ll stand no chance on the other side of the Red Line.”

“Exactly why I’m willing to train you—I’d hate to have put in all that effort into saving Mugiwara just for his crew to bring him down.”

Nami glared at him, but he ignored her all the way to his quarters. Upon realizing she’d followed him, his eyebrow arched upwards again, though this time in amusement. “Were you looking for something, Nami-ya? A private tour of the captain’s bedroom, maybe?”

She blushed slightly at his suggestive tone but held her ground. “You gave me crap about keeping secrets from you, and yet you spew out the most irritating non-answers when I ask you a simple question. Your hypocrisy is infuriating.”

“I gave you crap about keeping secrets relevant to your well-being,” he countered easily, slipping inside his room. “Your tenure as a Heart Pirate will be long done by the time I enact my revenge, so it’s nothing you need to worry your pretty little head over, sweetheart.”

Before she could reply or even get a good look at the inside of his quarters, he shut the door in her face.

Staring at the steel barrier, Nami felt her stomach twist uncomfortably.

She trusted Law. She knew he was sincere in his desire to help her train for the New World. That he would protect her until she returned to Weatheria at the end of the year.

She also trusted her gut, and it was screaming that he had ulterior motives. That this generosity, along with his rescue of Luffy, had something to do with some long-term plan.

Trafalgar Law was the lesser evil now, but how long until that changed?

23 notes · View notes

screechingtrashcalzonewombat · 4 years

Text

"Apopalictic Astral Asending" Reavaluate disassociate my self worth...

The galaxies have birthed an uncontrollable being ....

I've feel as tho Ive seen myself split in two ..

Witch side do u wanna see if ur lucky I'll let you choose .

Cause in the end I loose..

One of hate one of love could both be from up above..

Or down below ...

I've began to show signs of delusions as half my mind goes an tells me it's only mild confusion. As my body fights my brain an heart to escape theys terrible illusions.

Yet the other half tries to start a fusion of body an mind an all the suddently my thoughts are no longer mine..

But a evil so Divine that its wound it's way threw time itself I've fealt the damage the energy dealt. I've yelped in anquish an pain been stuck for 7 long years in the rain with nothing to gain .. I can barely fathom to explain im not fully on earth I'm on another astral plane but i fear i flew out of my lane I've gone insane never wanted fame Ever fealt like bat man I mean oops Bruce Wayne. Nah fuck hes spoiled a wet rat infact I'm more like hulk duck when I'm near i wearly see I'm drowning inside my mind but no one can hear my dear I fear I've lost control again but cant compute I've been booted out of the system I've clawed hit an kicked to try to get to the top but i outta of known I've been ripped an thrown from my throne ive been shown what this beast can do but who woulda thought a demon bought my soul ..a jackal a goul.....you'll see me shift into numbness I suposse it was my own dumbness for being to open now cause of me my body an mind are broken an stole. as I weep an shutter an i try to speak but only stutter I found myself weak in defeat ....as ik this demon reaching its peak will plunder an pillage the town I've found I'm bound to this beast nowhere to run not north south or east I can run it will feast on my soul until the end of time ..

For diamonds cannot compare to the rarity of a soul nor a bowl of Ruby's an jems rolled in gold .....

A bold statement you say........

.. theres no ray of light here they stole it away buried it in your mind but how can u define being locked trapped in yourself ...

You've dealt your own fate ...

Wanting ansers u dint deserve ..

Did you like your just dessert's...no?

Dose it hurt ..... After you itll kill children's childhood freinds like bernie & eart ....whent bizzirk an bashed there brains makeing bloody rains

curking on everyone with cutlery forks an knifes* slice *cook big bird with chives after I've shanked him 900 times... 100 more woulda been devine serve him drink to dry alone cooked an ripped him to the bone but not quite alone u may not be home inside but u can still watch...I thought I taught u better than to close ur eyes dont beg or look surprised look away an I'll adopt another stray to do the same a slow sweet death cure's my hunger anyway

.the wines innocents blood bitter sweet to the taste of the tounge

no one thought it capable I seemed...looked ...so young..

They dint know it had just begun it wasn't me but the evil half committing crime with glee an fleeing repetavidly revealingly images to my mind of times & crimes so sickening I thought I'd die forever scetched seered into my mind .binded with no power as one towers over you using your power you cowar for how dose one define the disasbalment of there an every defined mind while ur inner demon dines on flesh making a mess of your vessel you cant even wrestle your way to the light to stay only break down in defeat that your so far away you've became an internal mess cant even stand on ur feet the beast has u chained in defeat u cry an apologize looking for answers as of how to stop.....an then...you hear a voice .." you outta stayed silent instead of talk back. U shouldn't of complained do u still think ur life used to be pain...... . Ur a sack of shit ur wit is less than that of an ant not to rant but I'm not done yet I have ur soul now I'm never letting go no no no I have plenty more so much to show many souls to reap an emotions to subdue after all u said yes.....

...did you forget ur the one who started this.

mess ......you dressed your mind with fantasy an fiction word to the wise never mess with other worldly friction an your itching for a way out but I doubt ull get there before the end of time .after all you had a devil an an angel on ur shoulder an you chose wrong this time. Only took 666 times but I'm patient an always waiting for 6 years hating an burning flesh waiting for a prayer a call after all Lucifer was once an angel an the most beautiful you just dint get to see from what angle he had beauty wrath an determination but u humans resulted in his isolation incarsorason. So now we will end up being humanity's enialation when were done there entire selves with evaporate for the demons have released self hate to pro create creatures in confidence we annihilate the fate of the human race at least the trace slight like us able to bust threw dementions so weve mentioned a start to find the inordinary soul an heart ......humanity was doomed from the start.. you stole our purpose our reason to be......humans sit in sin an glee.

Your humanitys Pride is overbearing never genuinely caring ..

Greed is sweeping the nation its reached ever state an it's got a hot heaping plate of corruption for mankind's consumption greed is grotesque in its steps of the darkest quest to corupt ur mind an want. .want..want until that's all you are is wanting more

Lusting over losely draped garments you've tarnished ur soul .

Envy of what you do not posses but for all you know that information an life would make you a mess but ud still test ur envious tendencies.....

Glutton glutton what have you gained it's not knowledge no for it's to plain rather glutton uve found a urge that wont go away....

Wrath an vengeance blood draw too no one stops till some dies him or you....

Sloth last but not least cant forget you cause uuuh wait what that fuck do u do....you sleep an sulk sit slither out of simple tasks an that's why ur not 1st no ur last like humanity just ask ....

So soon the day will draw near the the number 4 is what you should fear our dear old freinds were sending up for a visit so they can reddit ur fate for each a horse an a trait the first out the door with bow in hand riding a white horse with bow in hand

Conquest the start of the final test leading the restthere dark version of light on a white stallion he leads the way an soon will follow hades anyway.

War was next on a red steed he rode prepared to purge an quench new blood for the wars an battels would just begin brother against brother an close of kin witch to win?

Famine foe of all on a black horse with the courses hair so fair merely bone but dont let his appearance fool you hes for he is full devouring your greed taking away everything you want or need an now ur rationed to nearly starvation stretching farther than destination world wide sensation...

Pleage reaper of souls slowly apears steadly trotting riding a very sickly steed looking pale an almost gruesome green with sores an sickness best keep a distance. For he shall be the bringer of death an reap you all one by one to the four you shall fall...

Will you be spared are you true....

Are you happy with your life what did you do...?

Rapture no you still must die.....

Say good by to this earthy chapter theres so much more that manifest after.

But only your earthly husk must rust an fall your all energy of grate mass....

It's time to take the task of self evolvment an enjoy an enlightened installment

this world was just step wrench ur third eye wide open an accept the token of eternal life.

Grinded it to atoms a flash of dust all together ur a self fulfilling must memory pass u in a rush.....

. sudently ur bodysuit is gone ....

But it dint felt like it quite belonged.

You were 7 grams of light matter to be exact an sudently you've cracked the atmosphere ..steering energetic waves my metal psyche caves to the new information flying threw stars consolations.

Suddently speeding at the sound of light the stratosphere seems to disapear ..

My fear is gonewithout a trace an freedom transferred in its place

but am waved in infatuation to find out about out true destination...

Restoration of the soul the goal of a higher self being achieved as I crash into the sun 1500°

I feel a warmth like no other each being hues of light I might of missed earth if not I heard a voice but a mental push no need for speech just thinking it shall be done said by the the brightest in the sun.

Rejoice at last but ur journeys yet to pass ..

This is merely were you start ....

Our flames grew high with frantic waves not wanting to give up the new life we were just gave

Suddenly our flames grew dim as we felt a swirling deep from withn sudently the surface of the sun turned to tin an bent in a cracked an caved with itself our time an space sending us ascending in alignment the same assignment.

Because the sun has begun to change ina twisted way a black hole some could say.

As all of our astral beings were ripped an tore apart at the seams we all merged an formed one all knowing creative being an sudently everything I've know has little matter I'm past a point of human chatter i understand infinity the holy trinity I down in the milky way an experienced every life I've relived it twice I've spliced my genetics into over 2000 million beings I've seen good an bad in between experienced every tragedy to build my strength an studyd every thesis an theory thread an chain nearly drove my vessel insane even took knifes threw my veins in anger yet it failed I was just a trailer.ive seen love hate an anger

Comprehension compasing many others I have love an understanding past many beings there anger seems to brush by me cause I'm with 2000 souls an minds that have formed one to reach a state I can medidate in the milky way an force your negative away .

Our astral self has accumulated complete power an understanding by costuming to our full potential our old body's merely a rental.

Gentle at first then bursted into power showered in knowledge I know now much that I wondered before but now I want more an I've thought till I an 2000 shared beings head hurt cause my girth of knowledge will now never be enough it's tough cause now I must find .... how to ascend again but for now i must defend my vast mind defind crime ...?

Keeping 2000 vast voices locked away so I can focus an try to learn anyway leaning in to vast places is I the 1st 2nd or 3rd or other many plains I cant quiet place I'm traveling threw them all searching for everything I couldn't before .

This life isent like the countless other this life I like it has interesting teathers

I've surpass Angel's an there feathers an vison of a hawk.

I've surpass demonds and there demonic temping talk ..

I've walked on water as I was ripped apart an I felt my self rebuilt every cell of my being got hit with rods of power lightning not even myself can fight me god like abilities the universe as built in me theres ben a spiritual shift a tilt in me somthing generations of DNA sprawled out in a numerical display my old life experiences is the price I pay so that I can be god even if only for a day

I think I'll sit an think somewere in the outter spink of the universe I've cursed myself with knowledge an now I'm aware step into my astral space....

If you dare...

2 notes · View notes

maple-writes · 5 years

Text

I didn’t think I would be done this chapter so soon, but here we are! A bit of a continuation of the last chapter, You can also read this on Wattpad!

Lucky for us, Cirrus was already awake when the nurse showed us to his hospital bed. He looked up as she drew back the curtain, then a small smile found its way onto his face as we slipped through. My heart sunk. His face was pale, hair dried in unusual angles from the rain, and almost the whole of his torso was wrapped in snug white bandages. An IV line connected to the back of his hand dripped steadily with something clear and colorless.

“Hey,” Cirrus murmured, softer than usual. “You made it.”

I stared beside the head of his bed. “I made it?” I grasped for words, confusion throwing everything out of wack. “Cirrus you were the one who got hurt!”

He blinked, then squinted up at me. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Cirrus yawned. “What time is it?”

Striker checked his watch first. “About 7:45 AM.” He slid his coffee-free hand into his pocket. “How’re you doing?”

Cirrus shrugged, then winced. “I don’t know.” He sighed, the smile vanishing from his face. “Someone said it’ll probably scar.”

Of course it was going to scar. I took a long sip of the still-hot coffee, trying my best not to make a face as it scalded the back of my throat. It had looked like a massive burn. There hadn’t been a question of if it would scar, but to what extent.

I rested my chin against the smooth plastic cup lid. It was a miracle he was even alive after pissing off Vena. Most weren’t so lucky to be able to walk away, at least not that I knew of.

“So, what actually happened to you?” Kyra rounded the other side of the bed, leaning in curiously.

Cirrus blinked, as if confused until he seemed to recognize her. “Oh, right.” He glanced at me. “Well, it was the full moon last night—”

Kyra laughed. “Trust me, I’m well aware of that.”

Striker chuckled to himself, a grin tugging at his tired face. When Kyra looked up to return his smile, he quickly turned his eyes back to Cirrus.

“Do you want to know or not?” Cirrus grumbled until Kyra nodded. “Fine. Well it was a full moon so I went to the beach and Asher came too.”

Kyra frowned. “I’m not sure I follow.”

Cirrus rolled his eyes. “My mother commands the tides.”

I couldn’t help but snort into my now half empty coffee. He must have been feeling at least a little better than I’d thought if he had the energy to be as short as usual.

“Anyway,” Cirrus gave an overdramatic sigh. “I was in the water and Asher was on the beach and I heard something and saw Asher having a problem with a demon so I fought it off for him.” He shrugged. “Yeah.”

I cleared my throat. “That was my father.”

Cirrus furrowed his eyebrows like he was trying to think of something to say, but he stayed quiet. I’d told him before that my father was a demon, and I think I even mentioned how powerful he was too, but I doubted he’d thought to apply that towards what happened last night. He probably thought it was just some random demon looking to cause some mayhem in the middle of the night.

“Cirrus,” Striker’s voice was low, warning. “Do you know how lucky you are to even be alive right now?” He paused as Cirrus turned his head towards my brother. “Vena’s dangerous.”

I nodded. “He’s corporeal, but he can also possess the living.” I swallowed. “I think he tried to possess you, actually.”

Cirrus grinned, leaning his head back. “He didn’t know I’m a dragon. Even demon’s can’t compete with a dragon’s soul, especially not trapped in this body.”

“Be careful.” Striker glanced towards me. “Just, don’t underestimate him, okay?”

Reluctantly, Cirrus nodded. He laid back with another yawn. I wasn’t surprised either; judging by his face he hadn’t got much sleep at all over the whole of the night. But at least it looked like he was going to be okay after all. A weight lifted from my chest as it really started to hit me that he really was going to recover.

“Good.” Striker sighed. “I’m guessing they’re keeping you for at least a little while to make sure you’re good to go?”

Cirrus nodded. “I think so.”

“Sounds about right.” Striker mumbled. He took a breath and offered a smile. “You should get some rest, alright?”

Cirrus smirked. “Me? You all look like shit too.”

“Well,” Striker shrugged, then matched his grin. “Full moon night shifts keep you on your feet, especially when some jackass comes in after fist fighting a demon.”

Kyra giggled and Cirrus shot her an indignant look. “Oh get lost.”

Striker reached out and gave Cirrus a gentle, reassuring squeeze on his bare shoulder. “Don’t hesitate to let us know if you need anything, alright? We’re here for you Cirrus.”

Cirrus gawked at Striker’s touch on his shoulder, then up at his face as he drew his hand back to his pocket. He opened his mouth, but no words came.

“See you soon,” Striker turned, drawing back the curtain and ducking behind it..

Kyra nodded and followed. “If you’re still here tomorrow I’ll see if I can come see you again if you want.”

She slipped around the half-drawn curtain, leaving it rustling in her wake.

“I guess I should go with them…” I yawned, and out of the corner of my half closed eyes I could see Cirrus do the same. “You going to be okay on your own?”

He paused. “Probably. I’m tired.”

I nodded. “You look like it.” I turned towards where Striker and Kyra had disappeared. “Have a good sleep then.”

“Asher wait,” Cirrus’ voice turned me back around. He had his jaw set tight and his eyes lowered.

Worry bit my tongue as I faced him again. Was something wrong? The air seemed to buzz with nervous anticipation, whether it was from him or my own feelings I couldn’t quite decipher.

When he finally did speak it was so quiet I had to lean in to hear. “It was a clear night last night, right?”

The moonlight had shimmered on the still, dark sea. There hadn’t been a cloud in sight as I’d watched Cirrus stand in the calm waters.

“It was cloudless, the sky…” Cirrus seemed to mumble more to himself than for me to hear. “But It did rain, right?”

I nodded. Just rain was an understatement. The wind whipping through, the volume of the water falling from the sky, it was a rainstorm out of nowhere. Sure, storms sometimes came up quickly in Eventide, being so close to the sea, but never that fast. Never.

“Huh.” Cirrus raised his eyebrows, eyes darting to his own hands.

My eyes widened. “Cirrus,” I glanced over my shoulder before leaning close to his face. “Was that you?” Anticipation coiled around my ribs. “Did you do that?”

“I don’t know,” Cirrus matched my tone, low and secretive. “I,” he sighed. “I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

But it was the only explanation that made any sense. There was no way a natural rainstorm would have been upon us in seconds out of thin air. I glanced down at the bandages across his chest and swallowed against the dread creeping up my throat. If there hadn’t been so much rain, I didn’t want to think about how much worse he would have been hurt if Vena’s flames weren’t drowned. I shuddered. Vena was known to incinerate his enemies. Alive.

“You could have died.” My voice quivered and I had to rub the forming tears from my eyes. “I thought he was going to kill you.”

My breath hitched and I pressed my hand against my face, hunching my shoulders. It hadn’t sunk in until now, everything that happened, but now it was here all at once. He really had risked his life for me whether he knew it or not. It was my fault he got hurt at all. Maybe if I’d stood up for myself earlier Vena would have left me alone, or maybe if I did anything to try and defend myself instead of freezing like a deer in the headlights or—

“He’s lucky I didn’t kill him.” He narrowed his eyes and scowled, but his face quickly softened to a pointed grin. “You must be tired if your crying like that over me of all people.”

“Cirrus I—”

“You should have gone home hours ago.” Cirrus’ voice hinted at a growl. “Go home Asher.”

I tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come. I didn’t know what to say. He held my gaze, but I couldn’t quite read his face.

“Are,” I swallowed and tried not to sound pathetic. “Are you mad at me?”

Cirrus groaned and ran a hand through his hair, shooting me a sharp look through narrowed eyes. “No. Damn it just go home already.” He sighed and dropped his hand back to the bed beside him, turning his head so I couldn’t see his face.

Worry chewed at my nerves. Something wasn’t right. Cautiously, I reached to touch the uncovered skin of his shoulder. As soon as my hand brushed him, my chest tightened, painful weight wedged beneath my collar bone. Sorrow, anguish, pain, anger… It flooded my blood, feeling like too much for one body to contain on it’s own, threatening to tear through my flesh and erupt from between my ribs.

“Hey!” Cirrus shoved my hand back, sending me staggering for balance. “For fucks sake Asher just leave me alone!” He covered his face with both hands, fingers digging into his scalp. “I just…” His voice was muffled by his palms. “Just go home, okay?”

I opened my mouth, but held my tongue. As much as I wished I could, there was no way I could force him to tell me anything. At the same time though, was it really such a mystery? My shoulders slumped. He probably had a lot on his mind after last night. Hopefully he would talk to me, just when he was ready, but my heart sunk. Cirrus always seemed to pretend nothing was wrong instead of admitting he ever felt anything.

“Okay,” I turned towards the curtain. “I’ll see you soon. Call if you need anything, alright?”

He dropped one of his hands back against the bed and nodded, turning his head away. I paused for a moment, then finally slipped under the edge of the thin curtain to join Striker and Kyra. They both seemed to sense something was off, but neither said a word about it as we left the hospital. They probably heard everything anyway.

Maybe Cirrus was just tired or overwhelmed or… Something. My eyes grew heavy, and I leaned against the window. If I’d gotten to take a nap in the waiting room and was this tired, he must have been exhausted. Maybe in a few days he’d be more open to talking about what happened. Maybe.

#the city of eventide #chapter twelve #chapter 12 #writeblr #my writing #amwriting #original fiction #fiction #writer #one day i will figure out my tags #today is not the day

7 notes · View notes

approximately12screamingcats · 5 years

Text

the hunger games re-read part 1

so the first time i read the hunger games i was...10? 11? somewhere in there. the last time i read them (before now) i was probably 13. i decided about a week or two ago i wanted to read them again, because it had been awhile and i knew i would get more and different things out of them now than then.

i just finished the first book, and i wanna share some of my thoughts, contrasting them to old ones and giving new ones

under the cut because it’s gonna be real long

katniss

i’d say the biggest difference in my last times reading these and now is my opinion on katniss. when i was younger i had the easy opinion that she was boring and annoyingly emotionless. but honestly that’s really not true, and i think it was in part influenced by her portrayal in the movies, which i always thought was good enough but could’ve been better, and i’d go so far to say now that her casting wasn’t great. but also, a movie in third person is very different from a book in first.

but really what i found, katniss is not emotionless, and she’s not boring. no, she’s still not what i would consider a favorite character of mine, i don’t love her, she’s not exactly my type of character that i love. but she’s interesting, and already a fascinating example of what hardship can do to a person. emotionless was such a wild impression to have of her, but i know i wasn’t the only one that thought that. i can say i definitely do not think that now.

she clearly says near the beginning of the book that she’s learned and taught herself to appear emotionless, so that she doesn’t betray her true feelings about the capitol and endanger herself or her family. but she isn’t emotionless at all. she feels very deeply, whether it’s ones she can identify like her love for prim, or ones she can’t, like her (growing) love for peeta.

the most marked thing about katniss is how her entire life has been driven by this need to survive. it encompasses everything she does, everything she has always done, and overshadows almost everything else. since she was eleven years old, she’s had to provide daily for her family, constantly watching out for starvation and arrest and death by wild animals. it’s no surprise she has no idea how to feel about things outside of that. she even says after the games she doesn’t know who she is when she doesn’t have to fight for food every day anymore. i haven’t gotten there yet, but i think that same theme comes back in the beginning of catching fire. her identity has been wrapped in this survival mode, and it’s twisted her into this person that has had to suppress any and all wants of things that could interfere with surviving. she’s not emotionless, she just quite literally has not had the time or energy to think about anything else and how to process it.

the romance

there’s a lot of opinions surrounding this romance. frankly, at the simplest levels, it’s part of the plot. the star crossed lovers of district 12. but yeah, of course there’s more than that. this is a little hard for me to evaluate without bringing up the other books, but tbh i’ll say what i think now with this one fresh in my mind and the others more distant, and see if it changes after catching fire and mockingjay.

anyway, since addressing the love triangle is unavoidable, i have always liked peeta and katniss as a couple more than gale and katniss. originally, i think at least 50% of why was simply because i liked peeta and i didn’t like gale. interestingly, that opinion still holds solid, but that’s not really why i like katniss and peeta better anymore.

katniss, already in book one, is not ambivalent to peeta and she certainly does not dislike him. honestly, i used to think it wasn’t until someway through catching fire that she began to really love him (romantically). but this read through made me realize she is already starting to in this book. it’s under the surface, and definitely doesn’t take hold until catching fire, but it’s there. their connection is emphasized and shown multiple times even before they get into the games. so many times it’s made apparent that she at least cares about him, but i’d say there’s beginnings for more than that.

the unfortunate thing is that being pushed into the whole love story thing for survival, and in front of everyone, is a really terrible environment for someone who barely understands her own emotions to be processing new ones. she’s worried about him dying, she’s incredibly hurt when she thinks he betrayed her for the careers (betrayal is a very strong word for her to choose here too, when she’s been pondering this whole time how one of them has to die). she very evidently wants him to live when she finds him by the stream. frankly, he was already dying, if she really didn’t care about him, she could have easily let him die without it even looking suspect to the audience. she’s not great at medical, which is shown a lot.

and i mean, how many times does she say she can’t bear the idea of being without him? of him dying? yes, usually these are either quick thoughts in a tense moment, or fraught with confusion or other musings, or paired in direct contrast with gale, but they’re there. she worries about it a lot. at the very end, when peeta realizes “it was all a sham for the audience” she even says she’s not sure if it was only fake, and that she misses him already.

to an extent, there’s bonding from trauma here, but i don’t think that’s an invalid manner of bonding? and it’s not just in and after the games that this shows either. it’s there a little bit from the start. she just has to get to know him.

i need to restrain myself from diving too deep into what’s coming here, but i’ll say this: as the books go on, obviously a lot more happens, but i really think one massive block in the way of katniss admitting to falling in love with peeta is the fact that it’s so blatant and open in front of the capitol. katniss hates the capitol, as does most everyone in the districts. but having her whole life on display like that, forcing her out of a decision, doesn’t mean she doesn’t love him, but it is very easy to see how that would make someone (especially a private person) want to withdraw away from that relationship. and katniss, having such a difficult time with her own emotions anyway since her live has been all about survival, doesn’t need that extra barrier on everything to muddle up her emotions and make it harder for her to tell what’s real or not real (lmao).

as for gale, cause i know some people think she clearly loves him, i can get into that more as i get back into the other two books. but from this one so far, and what i remember, a lot of the gale vs peeta stuff isn’t so much about a straight up romance love triangle, but more about what katniss’ life is vs what she wishes it could be. katniss presents herself as a cold and hard person, but she really isn’t like that. she loves soft things, she wants to live in peace, she loves rue and prim and got excited about giving a goat to her sister that she splurged on a ribbon for it. she sang with her father and only stopped when he died. she says she could never admit to her mother how much she needs her gentle touch. the life katniss is living, silent and stoic and always fighting in the woods, is not what she wants. gale, her friend that she definitely genuinely loves (platonically), is parallel to her life. the hunter, full of rage against the capitol, symbol to everything she’s known out of necessity, not want. peeta is calmer, gentler, a symbol to the life she wishes she could have. that’s why they eventually settle down in the epilogue. gale was never the romantic partner katniss needed.

but ive gone far past book one and i’ll get back into these analysis later when catching fire and mockingjay and the epilogue are fresher in my mind.

the rebellion

when i first read these books, my favorite parts were the action and peeta. but man. reading this through now, the story of this rebellion and the rising of people for their justice just screams through the page. and im not even to catching fire yet. it hit me when district 12 raised the salute to katniss, but it hit me even harder when rue died and when cato died. i mean...rue’s death. how katniss covers her in flowers. sings for the first time. drawing to light the utter inhumanity of what the capitol puts children through. but this part got to me specifically:

“I can’t stop looking at Rue, smaller than ever, a baby animal curled up in a nest of netting. I can’t bring myself to leave her like this. Past harm, but seeming utterly defenseless. To hate the boy from District 1, who also appears so vulnerable in death, seems inadequate. It’s the Capitol I hate, for doing this to all of us.”

i can almost hear the lament in that line, “it’s the capitol i hate, for doing this to all of us.” because that’s the truth. they throw up this show, driving them to competition, to hatred, but in the end, even the careers are victims of the capitol.

cato’s death too, for so many of the same reasons. i mean, it’s hard to read this and not feel outright repulsion at what hell the capitol is putting on these people. making the mutts, making them look like the tributes, and then the sheer agony of cato being eaten alive. when katniss and peeta decide to kill him, to relieve him of his misery, it again reveals the truth of things, behind the fancy gold curtain the capitol tries to put up in front of the games.

“It takes a few moments to find Cato in the dim light, in the blood. Then the raw hunk of meat that used to be my enemy makes a sound, and I know where his mouth is. And I think the word he’s trying to say is please.

Pity, not vengeance, sends my arrow flying into his skull.”

these parts are the first set up we get for what happens later. the games are awful enough, but seeing them so raw and unhindered, from the first hand account, you can’t look away.

i don’t know. i can’t put it into words yet, but it moves me immensely. just the story of a people oppressed for so long, revealing the horror and setting themselves free.

other small observations

i kinda wish i had read these books again when i was 16. because 16 sounded so old when i was 10-13, but now it seems young. i would have liked to read it knowing i was the same age as katniss, picturing how that really would be.

i also forgot cinna was not literally lenny kravitz.

i have not read a book this fast for recreation in years, and im LIVING.

#m #the hunger games #thg #thg reread #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #gale hawthorne

7 notes · View notes

avengers-nextgen · 6 years

Text

Redemption VI

If you’ve missed the other parts: I II III IV V

— — —

“You understand that what you’re accusing Thor of is...well it’s something that can go horribly wrong.” James reasoned sitting beside Scout in the meeting room where everyone had gathered.

Thalia kept shooting anxious, and irritated, looks at the young sorcerer. Thor was on his way, pausing his work with Bruce Banner somewhere in Wakanda. The King had requested their services and they were inclined to oblige.

No one spoke except for a few whispers that broke the tension. At last thunder rumbled from above and a flash of lightning blinded the occupants of the room. When the harsh light vanished the cloaked warrior stood at the head of the room. “It’s good to see you, friends.”

“I wish this meeting were called under friendlier circumstances,” Steve spoke carefully, standing and clapping his friend on the shoulder. “But we have some tough business to handle.”

— — —

The holographic screen came to life as Tony dulled the room’s lights from a small screen upon his watch. Clips of different news reels depicted scenes of the battle that had taken place between the young heroes.

Thor’s expression darkened upon his recognition of the witch at work. “Fury said she was in containment.”

“Fury neglected to tell us that she escaped. Not only that, but she’s broken out a knock off brand super soldier like Bucky.” Tony explained, swiveling in his chair. “Why did none of us know about this kid?”

“She wasn’t supposed to be alive.” Thalia murmured.

“What?” Vision arched an eyebrow.

“My cousin...I was told passed away young. It was an unfortunate accident.” A look of mixed emotions flashed across Thalia’s face as she studied her father. “That is not so, is it?”

“I was afraid of the day I had to explain myself.” Thor rubbed a hand against his chin. “It appears that day has finally come.”

— — —

It was a gloomy day where the forecast predicted rain. Something Sage loved more than anything. The dark clouds covering the harsh sun, the dampness of the earth drawing out otherwise hidden creatures, strays given water otherwise deprived of. Gloomy days, though unenjoyable for some, were her happiness.

“Mama! Come on we have to jump in the puddles. You promised, don’t you remember?” Sage turned away from the window where a mist of breath had caused fog to settle upon the glass.

“I know dear.” Her mother’s voice rang from the kitchen. “Come here for a moment. There’s a surprise.”

Sage hopped off of her perch and ran, bare feet smacking against hard wood floors, to the kitchen. A slender pale man, with a charming smirk, dark long hair, and brilliant eyes knelt waiting for her.

“Papa!” The young girl dove into his arms with an eagerness so pure it could belong only to a child.

“Hello Sage.” Came the mischevious chuckle. “How have you been?”

“Wonderful. Have any stories to tell?” The young girl pulled away from her father’s grasp to study his face. She hadn’t seen him for some time. Too long to be exact.

“Perhaps I’ll save them for another time. There is something urgent that must be taken care of.” The god of mischief lost the glint in his eyes. Sage noticed a seriousness that was so rarely there settle upon his face.

“What’s wrong?” Her heart hammered in her chest and small flickers of nervous energy darted across her knuckles in green arches.

“Hush. No need to worry.” There was a warmth in the god’s eyes that not many saw as he took her hands in his own. “But you must pack your things. Only the necessities.”

“Mama?”

“He’s right love. Go on. I’ll be there soon to see how you’ve done.” Her mother, an interesting woman, nudged Sage to the stairs.

Sage’s mother was someone you would not expect to fall for such a confusing individual as Loki. She was tender hearted, free spirited, and gentle. It was this that had so mysteriously drawn Loki towards her. Because, at first, she’d been guarded. Rebellious, sarcastic, cynical at times, and more. But most of that has changed after Sage was born.

At first he’d been hesitant at her affections, thinking she was only interested in romantic play. He soon found out that she was simply kind, hurt, lonely, and in need of someone who understood her. Consequently, he grew fond of her. In fact, Loki hadn’t been so relaxed around another person in ages, but the woman in front of him hadn’t tried to change who he was.

She knew he wasn’t a man of outstanding morale character, knew he’d made foul mistakes, and still she didn’t chastise him. She simply cared and that was all Loki had ever wanted. It was why he was there in the first place.

His brother had discovered his lover, and despite having one of his own, did not trust the offspring Loki had fathered. The god of thunder was weary. Though he loved his brother there was no denying that a child of his blood would cause destruction.

Thor was hot on his heels, in search of the child believing her to be incredibly young. He didn’t know that the girl was aged past five years of age. Thor wanted to spare the child of her fate before she could grow into a tool potentially ruining the world should she be apprenticed to her father.

“Your brother wouldn’t do such a thing.”

“You don’t know my brother Lena.” Loki pleaded, eyes earnest with worry. “You see me as I am, but my deeds follow me. Offspring of mine are dangerous, Thor believes I have sired her to aid my affairs.”

“But that isn’t true!” Lena insisted.

“It doesn’t matter. He is stubborn and he will be here in a moment’s notice. My brother doesn’t think clearly in his rage. You and Sage are in danger.” Loki’s gaze darted over to where his daughter was inevitably packing her things for a trip she did not comprehend. “Should she learn her magic, to be a weapon, it will put a target on her head. If I do not use her-others will. Thor knows this!”

“Where will we go that he will not find us? Surely we have your protection.” The god’s expression was crest fallen.

“I will protect you as well as I can. All that is within my power I will do to protect you.” The promise was spoken with finality. There was no room for failure. “But you must trust me.”

— — —

Loki held his own outside the house for some time but he now lay wounded upon the ground.

“Stay down brother.” Thor breathed. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Then you won’t do this.” Loki spat.

“I am protecting the people. They do not know what she is. What she will do.” The god of thunder called upon his weapon.

“You have no idea what she will do! You are not gifted with prophecy!” Loki attempted to move, to block his brother’s path, but the wound to his gut was sapping his energy.

— — —

The lightning crashed upon the house in a violent bang. Sage, small and terrified, reacted on instinct. Around her walls exploded, collapsed, debris blew about, but she remained still.

Her guard lowered too soon, the shield she had unknowingly put up faded, and electricity launched through her small frame. The pain was no match for her and the world turned black.

When she woke it was to rubble. Trembling both in pain and confusion the young witch stumbled about in search of her mother. The woman who raised her lay broken and scarred upon the splintered beams of the roof.

The smell was horrible, that of seared flesh, the blistering and twisting of skin from electricity too powerful to handle, the blank stare, it would all haunt the young girl for the rest of her life.

“Mama?” Sage’s small voice was followed by only stillness. She reached hesitantly to shake her mother. There was no response. “Mama?”

Her bottom lip trembled as tears pricked at the edges of her eyes. “Papa! Papa help!”

The realization, the face of death, it was not something for a six year old to witness. The grief overpowered her heart and with a heart wrenching sob a burst of magic too raw for someone her age to produce rolled across the block.

All around building’s toppled, cars went off, stoves burst into flames. It was an uncontrollable chaos. In the settling dust and debris the girl’s tear filled eyes settled upon a man clothed in red and silver.

“Where’s my Papa?” Sage’s voice wavered.

“As I suspected.” The voice rolled like the thunder Sage used to love. “You’re dangerous.”

— — —

“To this day,” Thor spoke with a solemn tone, “it is the moment I regret most in my life.”

Silence remained in the room and the god of thunder was forced to face the reactions of the others. There was Clint, whose gaze settled upon the table. Vision who seemed entranced with thought. Tony whose eyes were closed. Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. Natasha rested her head on the table and hid behind her arms.

James sat comforting his sister who had silently begun to cry. Piper looked utterly upset. Scout and Wanda both wore expressions of sorrow. But the most heartbreaking was the look of disappointment on Thalia’s face.

“No wonder she hates us,” Steve broke the silence. “This whole time she’s been trying to coax you from hiding. The other’s been trying to gather Bucky’s attention as well.”

“They’re asking for help.” James determined.

“It does not seem to be that way.” Thor shook his head. “They are angry, and that anger will fester, and they will destroy everything around them.”

“Then let them see you. Let them face you.” Natasha sat up again. “Wouldn’t that make sense? Let them retaliate so they don’t evolve into some sort of-of destructive villain.”

“Are you trying to convince people that they can be turned?” Tony raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“No. I’m saying, give them a damn chance.” Alex nodded in agreement with her mother.

“We hardly know them. They’re hurting and they’re angry. What makes them any different from the rest of you?” Scout questioned, looking pointedly at each of the adults.

“He has a point.” Clint sighed. “I say we continue with the plan. Bucky and Alex will attempt to talk to the Soldier girl. In the mean time we need to come up with a way to handle Thalia’s cousin.”

“Her name is Sage.” Thalia noted.

“Sage.” Clint corrected.

“I will go.” Scout offered. “On my own with my mother. We can match her magical prowess and I believe that...well if she can relate to anyone-“

“It would be me.” Wanda finished. “I have been in her shoes.”

“Then I suppose it’s settled.” Tony sighed.

“As for me?” Thor questioned.

“You will stay here.” Steve decided.

“So be it.” Thor nodded his eyes settling upon the floor as the others slowly filed from the meeting room. Even Thalia left, not bothering to stay behind with her father.

11 notes · View notes

i-am-1134 · 3 years

Text

The Lady of Light

In the year of my 4th 6, I worked with a man at a barbeque shop that I ended up giving many names starting with ginger and eventually Red being that he had natural red hair and so as an ice breaker I liked filling his head with celtic lore and stories of red headed giants, attempting to break through his firm stances of skepticism. He had a very healthy way of dealing with knowledge, someone who clearly had no internal dispute with cognitive dissonance. I would draw conversations into topics leading to a frame of reference for some of my “bizzare” theories. Like clockwork he would say a little something like “Bullshit, total bullshit. Show me some proof.” in which id find a direction of knowledge to lead the way. He would come back and say either “Ok you got a point there.” or “I see where you get your ideas now but there are holes”. Once I figured out how open he was willing to be we began swapping hallucinogenic trips stories and he eventually said “Have you done dmt?” I answered “ Ive never even heard of it.” then he followed with some personal stories of his own. I was thinking it sounded like the helpers in psilocybin mushrooms on mega steroids and equipped with even deeper soul revelations. I was very interested at this point and just like that he said “You wanna try it?” and so a week or so later he invited me over to his place to partake.

The setting was just right, a perfect chill in the air and at the cusp of Twilight, a synchronosity with my time of power and 2 days after my date of birth. Red Began with an instruction on how to use it “ take two big hits if you just want the experience, 3 or 4 if you got the courage, and don't ride the flame.”. So going by his instruction it became obvious that sticking to my golden rule when dealing with hallucinogens and doing more than the doctor prescribes, 5 it was. He set me up on a couch in his living room facing a 9 foot window with the shades down barely seeping through the nights light, he said “Im gonna turn off the lights and leave you here with yourself.” I said “Alone? That's cool.” wondering why. Red replied with an assurance that its the best way.

With a bowl of pot and some of these yellow tiny crystals piled on top I thought “here we go” and began taking my puffs. The taste and the smell was potent, really embrassive to the nostrils yet familiar and the smoke was hard to hold in, coughing every hit.

Out of nowhere I became very aware of my hearing and focused on this sound. I then realized I was hearing my awareness and its pitch was getting higher and higher. My Whole body felt as if it had come alive with some engulfing force and every cell in my body was expressing a fraction of my awareness while bathing in it. Suddenly my attention was drawn to these eyes popping in and out of my surroundings. They would appear closed, open, peer into me, and then disappear. Following were shapes that were swiftly changing different colors and started off as the common platonic shapes but then became strange never before seen shapes with strange curves throughout glistening the colors of the rainbow one by one yet even quicker and like that, everything went away and the whole room was dark.

“What the hell happened, is this it?” I thought to myself when a light in front of me caught my eye. It was like light coming through the creases of a door. At that point I had come to realize that what was once Red's 9 ft window with blinds was now a huge metallic looking double door arched at the tops and was what appeared to be opening, letting in more of these rays of high yellow- golden light and revealing strange engravements all over it. A shield with something in some in-discernable language to me now forgotten, a sword that appeared to have flames coming off of it, two serpents on each door side going all the way to the top that looked like they were slithering down the door. I thought to myself that it must be because of the shadows on the doors surface due to the light coming through it as the doors were opening. The word Adonai engraved at the top of the door just above the shield that were both being cut in half as the door opened.

A silhouette made out of scintillating golden light in the shape of a woman appeared in the opening and began putting her foot down out of the door way. As her foot took each step downward it became clearer to me that she was walking down a crystal stair case and every step she took her shape became not only more clearer, solid looking but was changing appearance. Her feet, her legs, hips, stomach, breasts, shoulders, hands, her neck, her hair, and even all of her facial features were changing every step she took down the crystal staircase. When the morphing was over I was looking at the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen and realized that this creature was looking for my un-dividable attention and when I say that it had it, I really mean had it. When she reached the bottom of the stairs she began to crawl to me on hands and knees, popping her shoulder blades up and down like a lion or a puma. The whole time with her eyes fixated on mine and it felt like she was peering at something right through me and behind me or deep within me, she gave a quick half cocked suspicious like smile and disappeared within a flash of an eye.

All of a sudden I saw myself flying through the door way at the speed of thought and the surrounding became very incomprehensible. Seemed as if its was an environment filled with billions of electrical currents chaotically going each and every way and as quick as it came it was gone. In an instant the surroundings became a lush jungle all around me and all the trees and plants were luminescent with rich gold light streams. It seemed that the lights were responsible for the makeup of their forms. Flowers appeared to bloom out and retract back in a synchronized fashion with one another and at the speed of my heart beat. It was like the whole jungle was swaying back and forth to the beat of my breathe. There was a stream of water translucent yet emanating gold filaments of light that appeared to flow upstream as its current flowed down. It encapsulated me for what seemed to be quite a long time when my attention suddenly peered across the stream at a cluster of gold mushrooms. The golden mushrooms were so brilliant I couldn't help but smile. As I fixated on them I started thinking to myself how delicate they must be, like the wings of a golden moth. I look up from the ground and spot a big golden toadstool in the middle and sitting on top was the woman, sitting with her legs crossed and back in her original golden silhouette.

At that moment, like a lotus flower blooming in the middle of my mind space, I received what I was to come to know as a telepathic message. Each petal was like a linear conversation that I quickly found out that I could easily decipher into a coherency I could store in memory. It was as if my entire interaction with her was pre-written somehow beyond the confines of time.

The message made me realize even more the familiarity I was having with this place and the mysterious creature that appeared as a human woman. I said in my mind “Who are you?” and through the lotus message I heard “through the many ages it took you to get back here and who I am is what you want to know?” I never realized it before but at that moment I had this profound remembrance of an age old personal history and was witnessing it in it's totality and became embarrassed of my question. “Thotek” I heard and at that same instant I recollected where I actually was. I was at the point of all knowing, absolutely anything that can possibly be known was at my door step, all I had to do was ask the question. I became nervous with haste I realized that the golden jungle was fading as their luminosity was fading, so was she, and the force that I had been feeling engulfing me was beginning to wane.

“Quickly, you don't have the energy to stay here.” she said and I knew the substance was wearing off. I was completely unprepared for this gift of a lifetime and I was blowing it and I knew I was blowing it. I decided quickly and thought to her “ How do I assemble my light saber?” and “What am I ?” I heard a soft closed mouth type female chuckle that left me contemplating on the feeling of how this creature was close to me someway and out of nowhere I watched a lightsaber being assembled out of thin air. There were three main parts made out of a complexity of many parts and I realized almost instantaneously that my previous research was way off and amounted to a pile of shit. It was overwhelming but was quickly taken from me for a time because of what happened next.

The Next thing I remember I was back on the couch, no door in front of me and pitch black yet I could still see a faint dark blue hue of the living room like a silhouette of everything making it up. I was overwhelmed and depressed, I just got the greatest gift I probably will ever know and I blew it and like that a vortice appeared. It seemed to grow pretty significant in size and then a snout came through it, followed by a head, and a long body, it was a dragon, a chinese style dragon and its entire form looked like it was formed of some kind of glowing smoke. Its whiskers, its eyes, its scales, absolutely everything that made this dragon was in full detail and it was moving very slow with an enthralling grace. Another vortice opened up in front of it and it started going through when I notice another vortice and another, until the entire room was filled with this dragon going in and out of them.

“don't be afraid, if you feel ready reach out and touch.” I heard in my mind. Its power was great I could feel it. I put what felt was my hand out and became very intimidated and much to frightened so I pulled my hand back in.

At that moment a vortice opened right in front of me and I saw the dragon coming out right at me but slowly. I couldn't seem to move my body and began to brace myself for impact in the hopes of it being enough for whatever was about to come. It opened its mouth wide, it looked as if it could swallow me in one gulp and right when my upper body was within its jaws I was completely back in this reality. The last remanance of the dragon appeared as smoke swaying past my cheek and the feeling of a tingly cold energy running throughout my entire body to my core and exiting through what felt like two unseen or etheric appendages off my upper back. All I could muster out of my mouth was “......WOOOH....”

0 notes

homestucky · 6 years

Text

i need to have a nonsense rant because i need to say something bcaus its messing with my head (if u read all this u will probabky be like wtf why are u even thinking about that drama queen)

i been working on 4 courseworks over the past couple weeks and its been legit mad ive had two but deadlines the past 3 days and more to come

also ive been looking for a house for a next year which has been rlly stressful a) because it just is, looking for houses is stressful, and b) because i really wanted to live with someone else and not with some of the people im living with now but i was terrified of upsetting people so that was an ethical dilemma (spoiler alert i just ended up not saying anything so next yr i will be living with my current housemates)

anyways i tried to delegate responsibility because i was the only person trying to find somewhere for us to live but my housemates were barely doing anything which was annoying

anyways we went to view a house yesterday (which i found :^)) and afterwards one of my housemates who is like a really hard to read guy wouldnt say what he thought of it but eventually he was like yeah its good id happily live there

i told him to tell the truth and say somethng if he didnt like the house but he insisted he did

so i was like cool cool lets go for it

then my other housemate who exhausts me so much was like ‘but what if hes just saying that and he actually does mind’

and i was like well that would be on him wouldnt it because weve given him every opportunity to speak up

and he was like but i would still feel bad for him if we went for the house and he lived there the whole year and hated it

and i was like yeah but itd be on him

and he was like no but see im an extremely empathetic person. like, its a curse. i cant help it. if people feel bad then it makes me feel bad

and rfor some reason it just made me so angry because like. this is a guy who is completely clueless, obnoxious, self centred and irresponsible. he doesnt know how people are feeling and if he is confronted with people talking about their feelings he responds really badly (weve argued about it before)

so for him to turn around and humblebrag about what a nice person he is just made me so angry like he upsets me and frustrates me so much and he cant even tell most of the time so to say like ‘see it might not bother you but see unlike you i actually have empathy’ it just like really upset me because it was such a lazy use of ‘empathy’ like he never actually has to deal with peoples actual real important emotions because he never makes any decisions and if people mention their feelings he essentially tells them to shut up and im over here doing my best for people and having to draw a line sometimes because i know that if you TRULY are sympathetic to everyone who ever had a bad feeling i really doubt you’d have the energy to worry about one of your housemates not getting their first choice accommodation wise like jesus some people are out here dealing with real problems and youre acting like a martyr bcaus u pretend to be concerned about fake surface level easy problems

he refuses to take responsibility for anything real or important. ive basically been made ‘group mother’ bcaus of stuff like this which i never even wanted bcaus im so tired. like i do something for the group and hes like lol thanks mum ur so responsible anyways im gonna go get drunk and not answer my phone for 3 days like NO this is not for you!! im not looking after you!!! this is because someone HAS TO !! you can say see im just not that kind of person im irresponsible haha lol but that is a CHOICE and sometimes people ask things of you and sometimes you have to take responsibility and youre there with a doctors note like sorry i cant do anything of use its because of my inherent personality that i cant change

does he think i want to be doing this? making these decisions? does he think that answering peoples messages is something that he inherently, medically, is incapable of? becuase he is making DECISIONS in order to be this way and it makes me ANGRY

he always does this stuff that seems nice on the surface level but it always ALWAYS feels like its for show and it makes me so uncomfortable and i hate it. like when he cleans the house all while insisting he doesnt mind but then makes passive aggressive comments about how much he does for us under his breath for days i hate it

and he does stuff like light a candle for the memorial where a drunk student died last year every time we go past which is nice and all in theory but he always makes a thing of it like we will walk past and he’ll be like OH NO IVE FORGOTTEN MY LIGHTER. *no one responds* I WAS GOING TO LIGHT A CANDLE FOR THE GUY YOU SEE. or running off to i quote ‘feed a homeless guy a churro’ like idk its nice in theory and so i feel crappy being critical of these actions but there is a level of it where im like .. he only puts effort into good, kind ‘empathetic’ things which require little to none actual emotional labour, then acts superior about it like everyone else is a monster

so much of what he does is a front and i guess when its a front he uses to do nice things thats not the end of the world

he just bothers me so much and i would love to not live with him but i also know that he doesnt know how much e bothers me and that i feel that way and i also know that he secretly is really sensitive (but i dont even think he knows he is) and he just constantly ‘’’’’’’’’mansplains’’’’’’’’’’ and corrects peioples grammar and he makes me so angry jashoferofnondcoamfcerfmperfihfouhqaofuh why do i make myself spend time with people who make me so unhappy

#personal // sorry #some #caps lock #i feel like a crappy person for this but ukno

2 notes · View notes

brainfarts-com · 4 years

Text

I want to get this out of my system. Not like anyone gonna see it, but have been bottling it up for years and not let go of it. My parents know the person but dont know the damage. The only person who knows it was damaging, doesn't know the full story. No one knows but me and it has been eating me away from the inside for 7 years. And still no one else will know it, but ill have it down, giving myself a chanse to get it straight.

I changed schools after the 4th grade. My mom didn't like the teachers there so she brought me to a better school. Which was absolutely fine, I missed my best friend a lot but it was a great school with amazing teachers and classmates. Exept Luca. She was something else. She was strong willed and strong worded. She always got exactly what she wanted. Her parents spoiled and phraised her non stop. And she made that everyone elses problem. On my first day in school, I remember her smiling at me... and the next thing I remember is that I was in her friend group (which meant two other girls). It feels like I completely blacked out a few months. From there it was downhill. When I got there, I was an ambivert at least - loving attention, spending time with people and very much a people pleaser. She used that up against me big time. She lowered my self esteem to zero, made me believe I was average, but at least worse in everything than her. She ordered me around like a puppy. It got to a point that I made fun of myself just to entertain her- because I knew that was what she wated to hear. She made me fear her- but I didn't know why I was afraid of her. Thats what got me out of it. I sometimes tried to ask her to stop, because I did feel uncomfortable and like this isnt normal, but it never worked. She said shed change, but after a month she was the same as ever.

After two and a half years I broke down in tears to my mom and when she asked why am I afraid of her, I realized how unrealistic I was. The next day I didn't go to her. When she was standing behind me, shouting my name, I didn't turn around. I was shaking while she said: "pah, it must be one of her tantrums". I didn't sit with the table they sat in, I asked the girl I admired instead if I can sit with them an her table group was surprised, but nice and let me sit there. The rage on her face... That I could betray her... She asked me what is my problem, I said: I just want space... I was shaking so hard. Ever since in stressful situations and confrontations, I shake uncontrolably. Her answer was not nice, bit the best I could wish for- she didn't want to interact with me anymore.

The faces of other people... some even gratulated me and offered to help. The girl I admired said I could hang with them if id like. Thats when I realized, how nice classmates I have. Before i was separated from them by Luca, who made everyone a bad guy. But now they accepted me, talked with me, joked with me. Even tho I became a lone shark most of the time, but I got a lot of support from them. They probably didn't even notice. But that didn't last too long.

Less than two years and high school started. I had no idea, how to interact with people, so I did the same as before. Lone shark, helping out with school stuff. But now that didn't work well- my new classmates didn't care for me, just to get what they wanted. They even made fun of me, sometimes with talking with me like im an idiot, while I helped them with homework and help them on tests. But I was naive and frankly, I had it worse with Luca, this was way nicer than before, so I didn't think much of it.

A miracle that I got a friend. She was nerdy and she was the butt of the jokes as well, but that wasn't why we became friends. We liked the same youtuber. A few months and we were inseparable. But that didn't magically teach me how to be friends with someone. So I did the same as before- listened and acted the way I thought others would like me to be. That was what Luca trained me to do. That was not my friends fault, but it ruined the friendship. Slowly I became empty with no energy to act. I became snappy and quiet, which made her distance herself from me. Later we talked it out but at that time, it was the worse. I had nothing going on, no stimulus, same thing repeating, smiling to teachers and roommates and that empty feeling inside.

At that point, I was barely alive. For years, I told myself: if I wouldn't have friends and family, I wouldn't be worth living. I did not realize, how fucked up that mindset was. Now I didn't have friends, my days became even blanker and acting became harder. I couldn't laugh at a video I found funny- god, I remember that balloon one, I thought: hah, thats funny, but not a chuckle, not a smile, just the thought. And still, I didn't realize what bad of a shape I was in mentaly. I was suicidal, but not outright, the thought made itself normal in my brain, like it is an everyday thing to think of.

My only chill time became YouTube. I didn't have to act while watching. Than I found undertale there. I knew the story and the characters so well while ive never played the game, but I loved it. Once it recommended a let's play of it to me. The thumbnail was pretty and upon seeing how long the video was, I simply said I'll click away if I get bored.

It hit me like a horse kick. My face showed genuent expression for the first time in years. The sheer energy of it, the thing I lacked for years. Only the intro caught me, the happy guy who said it- I binged the whole series. And than went on a Jse channel binge. It was amazing, it gave me life, it made me want to draw more, it gave me the will and energy to live. Soon his and Mark's videos became the thing I awaited the most in a day.

Now I remember, it was half a year after watching them that I became snappy. Because they were nice and they didn't ask me to be someone else. Sean said in so many videos that "you are worth it", and he said so many encouraging words along with Mark that I started to believe them. The way I went about it later with my friend was not good tho. Neither of us adressed the problem, we just... avoided it.

Months went by. I started to heal a little, but also got too attached to both of them. It was unhealthy, I know, but they were all I had who didn't judge me. This was the time when my relationship with my mom started to go down. I didn't meet her high expectations. I started to stand up for myself and told her I don't want to be a dentist or a psichologist. She only realized i'm serious when I didn't get into any college. I took a year off, but she still tried to push me. No matter how many times I told her, she gently manipulated me into going along. Or so She thought. I went on the exams she wanted me to, but I failed one. I didn't put effort in, because I didn't want the goal. And that finally made her accept that I want to be a kindergarden teacher. To this day im listening to "you could have been blah blah", but I dont care.

In that off time i grew a lot. I found the jse community. I stopped being dependant on their content. I started to heal for real. I slowly built myself an ego and expand myself. The things I should have done years ago, when I was a kid. When I was taken that chanse away.

Luca. She made my life so difficult and I dont think, she knows it. I could bet that she didn't see herself damaging. I bet she still doesn't see that. But... that doesn't change anything. It doesn't give me back my lost time. It doesn't matter. I ended up how I am now because of her. While it was a tough road, there are things that I wouldn't be the same without her. I wouldn't have the community. I wouldn't have the friends I do now. I wouldn't be the same, the me I worked so hard for. Of course, if she wouldn't intervine, itd be easier. Probably, who knows. I think it would be. But moarning on it won't change it. I have set my motto to be "Don't worry about the things you can't change, it only causes you more stress", but I havent applied it to this situation.

It is time to do it. It is time to let go of those bad feelings. Of course thats easier said than done, but I have the power to it. I allow myself the time to do it. She is my past, a past that shaped me but doesn't define me.

It is time to be unapologeticly me

#past #whow #that ended up long #but it feels good #its out #i have put those feelings into words #something more concreete #now #i can move on

0 notes

audiovisualrecall · 6 years

Text

etsy is so exhausting on an executive function level to upload stuff to and i barely sell anything and its just. so tiring to have to add everything to it i just get overwhelmed and lose interest in actually doing it also bc i cant decide the best way to do so, like listing individual arts and within that the different items the art is available as?? it just takes so much effort to post a single listing mrrrr

i liked listing stuff on my website (i made shop pages!) a lot but its $35/month to be able to take paypal (which is.. so weird.... i can list things for sale for free, but no one can buy them??? idk!) but it was....much easier....

and idk like i feel like with some seo help it’d be easier to find my site/ for ppl to buy art from me thru the website than it is for ppl to find my stuff on etsy where there’s like tons of thousands of listings ....??? idk tho. sighduck

idk im just so bad at executive dysfunction these days i dont have energy for anything half the time except for random things and if i start something half the time i lose energy/motivation/interest halfway thru and dont finish....... which doesnt help the depressive episode bc even tho most of the time my thoughts towards myself havent been v negative, im still feeling BLEH a lot or i dont have the energy to make myself do things like, shower, or message michie back, or really work on the job searching, or anything. ive done some art fight stuff but everything else i just... end up feeling like whats the point? even when i know that’s an illogical thought like uh there’s a lot of points/reasons to do those things and i know that i also deep inside do want to do the things but also over that is a very bleh apathetic depressive disinterest and lack of motivation. and even when i want to not feel like it or try to do something abt it it just comes back like in the morning i feel good and sometimes i have motivation and ive told my therapist like oh im planning on working on this and that other thing today and i wanna work on this other other thing also and then.... like today, just. not do it. i drew a thing that i like. i found a few vaguely interesting jobs and printed them out. i mean yeah, i did help dad with the AC thing but. i opened the tab for the etsy stuff and tried to kidna organize what i have up already and what im planning on adding etc, but then i just was like nope i cant do that now and switched to something else.... like the ac thing took most of the day so i shouldnt be hard on myself for not getting 101 things done today! t was after 5 when we really finished, i think, and there were dishes to wash and dishwashers to empty and art to draw. but i feel like i should have done more, and i feel like i dont ever finish anything and i cant do anything, i just start things and then lose interest, and family is like u just gotta do it anyway and i just!! i cannot do that!!! bc its not just... losing interest its depression... and i need help to do some of the things. not just told to do the thing. help me break it down, help me figure out a solution, help me by offering support. if i say the etsy stuff and job hunting arent easy and its stressing me out and making me feel awful bc i cant finish anything, dont say nothing is easy, bc yeah i know!! intellectually! but its not that its not easy its that my brain is actively working against me!! adhd + depression = hell time! i mean i didnt mind it that much bc i know what ma means, and she wants to go to bed, but she was trying and was wanting to help and was comforting me, so i dont mind. but in a larger sense, thats not helpful bc none of them are understanding, steph just. tells me ‘treat job searching like a job!’ like how is that helpful??? ive never...had... a real job... b4.... and on top of that adhd + depression = i cant focus on or do things i have no motivation, interest, energy, or reason to do or focus on! i cant!! my brain simply cannot do the thing, and instead of throwing that at me, try to actually help me, sit down with me and go through stuff w me, please. and if u wait for me to mention it tomorrow thats a mistake bc i just wont mention it again until its bed time again.....

also still mad at steph she works long hrs yes, but she comes home and doesnt want to do anything, bitches abt being asked to wash the dairy dishes many of which were hers, and then complains abt ma not helping clean up the table, like? ma does all the laundry except for steph’s, dad cooks dinner, both split dishes washing - ma washed half of the meat dishes earlier! and then also worked downstairs!

0 notes

Last Seen Blogs

silicatemple82

The Blogging of Warner 514

mejor-casino-vip

Mejores casinos en línea

briegelsfatblunt

german nonsense

mentally-exhausteddd

Im Tired.

iconstinkheap

icons, backgrounds, headers, oh my!