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patrophthia · 6 months

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attention is what i want! | theo. nott

pairing: theodore nott x fem!reader

genre: pining, one sided crushes, angst !!, complicated feelings, theo is a dick tbh, humor (my attempt at it), reader embarrasses herself (multiple time), girls girls pansy, reader are friends with the golden trio but isn’t a gryffindor, cursing, drinking, a bit suggestive in the end hehe

wc: 4.3k (idk how it got this long, i planned to write sth with like 2k at most but it kept going)

note: i wrote this while listening to attention by new jeans for two hours straight (yay pining!) i have very mixed feelings for this fic but here it is anyways!

summary: it’s no secret that you have a crush on theodore nott, theo knows it, hell the whole school knew it; maybe if they didn’t then it’d be easier for you to get over him after you embarrassed yourself in front of the whole school. at least you got a new friend because of it.

To say you had a crush on Theodore Nott would be an understatement. You never actually confessed to the Slytherin but it's as clear as days that you were into him.

And when he was as good looking as he was, could anyone really blame you?

Not really, not when most of Hogwarts found your attempt at shooting your shot with him the most amusing thing ever.

"Good morning, Nott." Your hand shot upwards the second the Slytherin enters the classroom. His eyes settling on you whilst his friends bickers behind him. "I saved you a seat."

There's snickering from behind you, hushed whispers as your classmate gossips about your pathetic attempt at getting with Theodore once more.

His eyes scans the room, finally settling on one of the two empty seats behind the class and B-lining towards it. Zabini, having lost to Malfoy at grabbing the seat next to Theodore smiles at you kindly. Maybe even apologetically as he sits next to you.

"Better luck next time?" He offers, trying to lighten your mood and you smile back, nodding. "You'll get him eventually."

And though your voice is low, barely audible and muffled; Zabini still manages to hear you huff out a: "doubt it."

"Do you think he'd pay attention to me if I dyed my hair green?" You ask, playing with your hair.

Sure, your hair would end up damaged but if it meant Theodore would spare a glance your way then you'd take it.

Harry looks at you as if you'd grown an extra head, green eyes enlarged as he tries to gauge whether you were serious or not. "Excuse me?"

"I think I could pull of forest green hair."

Hermione rolls her eyes. "No, you can't." She doesn't really mean it though, she does agree that you'd probably pull off forest green hair but she'd rather you do it for your own personal wants rather than to gain someone else's attention. "And you won't."

You only huff at her words. "Why not?"

"Because, it's stupid. You'd look stupid doing so." Mione doesn't bother sugarcoating it, she doesn't need to when you've known her as long as you have. "If you need his attention so badly then ask him out, just drop the question and get it over with."

"I'm trying to!" You groan, passing your plate with leftovers over to Ron who accepts it gladly. "I could walk naked in front of him and he wouldn't even bat an eyelash."

Ron face scrunches at the idea, finding the prospect of a naked you disgusting. "You could put up a banner," he suggests through a mouthful of food. "I'd notice someone if they put up a banner with my name on it."

And when Hermione's whacked Ron at him encouraging what she deemed was self destructive behavior, the conversation shifts to something else completely.

You're huffing and puffing when you straighten up, showing your three closest friends what you'd been working on for the last two days. "What do you think?"

Ron gasps loudly, eyes wide as he takes in the imagine in front of him. "You're crazy."

"If you'd just—" Hermione, as if it was second nature, reaches up and smack at his arm. "—learnt how to shut up, this wouldn't have happened."

It's only natural for you to frown at their reaction, brows knitted as you asked them. "Is it too much?"

Harry, and his sweet sweet soul tries his best to not hurt your feelings as he nodded. "Maybe?" He tries to soften the blow, adding on: "I think it's brilliant, it's just ... a lot."

You look over your masterpiece. Reading out the glittering paint, letter by letter and watching it as it takes shape into one of the biggest banner you've seen at Hogwarts by far.

Written in shining green paint were the words:

A-T-T-E-N-T-I-O-N, attention is what I want. Nott, go out with me?

"I mean, if anything you'll definitely get his attention with that," Harry says, blinking rapidly at the banner. "It's pretty hard to miss."

"Let's hope so."

The dining hall is louder than normal, it has always been noisy; having seated thousands of teenagers who had little to none supervision during their breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

But like Theodore has noted earlier, it's noisier than normal. And the drop of voices is significant when he steps through the large doors, loud gossips turns to hushed whispers; eyes roaming between him and a figure by the Gryffindor table.

It doesn't take him long to notice why, a dust of glitter falling down on him from above. He glances up, eyes squinting as he reads out the banner before him.

A-T-T-E-N-T-I-O-N, attention is what I want. Nott, go out with me?

The letters are bright, glinting under the candle light as if it was taunting him, pushing at his buttons for a reaction. And though, there was no name written on the banner to indicate who'd made it; he knew that it was you.

Dark eyes narrows as he zones in on you. You dressed up nicely, watching him with a pretty smile on your waiting face.

And when all he did was roll his eyes and turn towards the Slytherin table, without sparing you another look. You all but deflated in front of everyone's eyes.

You knew it was stupid, and that it was all your fault to make your love life so public for everyone to entertain themselves with, but you can't help but feel hurt at the laughter bubbling through out the hall.

You're scrambling out of your seat, rushing out of the hall when a voice shouts out. "Serves you right, pick me!"

Oddly enough, it's Pansy who speaks up; her voice loud and clearly irritated when she shouts back, telling them to go and: "Fuck yourself."

Why the Slytherin threw a dirty glare at her friend and ran after you despite the two of you not being friends —let alone having been seen together before, was a mystery to everyone.

And since Hermione loves you too much for her own good, she’s quick to scramble out of her seat, casting a spell to set the banner up in flames as she rushed after Pansy and you.

There’s a sort of guilt that Hermione feels when she finds you hunched over with Pansy’s hand running up and down your back. The two of you weren’t friends, neither is Hermione and Pansy but when a girl’s in need of comfort, it’s only normal for them to be there for her.

“I don’t get why you’re into him, honestly,” Pansy grits out, “out of all the boys in Slytherin you just had to choose the dickhead, didn’t you?”

Hermione can hear you sniffle out a laugh as she takes a seat on your other side. “Out of all the boys in Hogwarts you just had to choose the dickhead, huh?”

Pansy and Hermione are sharing a grin as you lift your head up slightly, a small smile tugging at your lips. “It’s not like I wanted to like him, you know?” You say with a small laugh. “I guess I’m just attracted to an asshole.”

“You’re guessing this now?” Pansy says with a roll of her eyes, there’s no venom in her tone, only playful annoyance. “This isn’t the first time he’s treated you like this. I’ve heard all about your … attempts, you know?”

“Really?” You’re laughing and the hurt in your tone is clearer than ever. “How embarrassing.”

“It’s not,” Hermione reassured you, “if anything I think it’s endearing.”

“Me making a fool of myself for a guy is endearing to you?”

Pansy giggles at your words. “I’ve done worse, maybe just not so publicly.” Her voice is playful when she adds on, “but this should be the final nail in the coffin right? Finally getting over that asshole after this?”

“That asshole is your best friend,” you remind her and she looks to her side bashfully.

“That doesn’t excuse him for being horrible to you,” she mumbled. “And I thought Draco was bad.”

“Malfoy is bad,” Hermione chimes in. “He just didn’t humiliate you like Nott did her.”

Pansy tilts her head to the side in thought. “Maybe. Or maybe we should just stop dating Slytherin guys over all.”

Hermione only smiles fondly at her words. “Maybe.”

You’re doing fine. Or as fine as one could be after a publicly humiliating confession. You’re still very you, smiling at Theodore every chance you get even though you’ve told your friends (now extended to Pansy) multiple times that you were getting over him.

The only BIG difference that anyone noticed after your rejection was that you no longer attempted to get closer to Theodore. You don’t save him seats, you don’t tell him good morning, and they’d be lying if they said it wasn’t weird.

“Is this seat taken?”

You look up, eyes widening at the person in front of you and nodded. “I’m saving it for someone.” You pray to Merlin that he doesn’t hear the waver in your voice as you did so. “Is there something you needed?”

He doesn’t answer you, instead placing his book bag on your desk. You try to control the butterflies caged in your stomach, fluttering at the sight of his forearm flexing as he did so. “You’re saving it for me? Like always?”

You blink at him. “… no. I’m saving it for Blaise.”

“Huh,” he hums thoughtfully, “you’re in first name basis now?”

You move to your right when he takes his seat to your left, trying to distance yourself from him. “What do you want?”

He looks at you and your pretense of being over him crumbles all over, tumbling as he nearly knocks you off your feet just how intense his gaze is. And though you’ve always wanted his attention, for him to look at you back like he’s doing now. You can’t help but feel sick to your stomach with how much you still liked him.

“Attention is what you want, right?”

What is he playing at? “Not anymore.”

“Shame.” There’s a slight smile at your answer. “I was finally ready to give it to you.”

“He said that?” Pansy repeats your words back to you, her hand moving away from your face as she dips it back into the face mask she’d mixed up. “That’s weird.”

“That’s what I thought,” you murmur, feeling Hermione kick her feet into your lap. “I’m so confused right now.”

“Maybe he’s playing hard to get?” Hermione suggests. “Even if he is I hope he knows the only hard thing he’s getting is a rock thrown at his face.”

It’s clear that she’s taken your rejection harder than you did, grumbling at the thought of him. “A text book if he’s lucky.”

Pansy finishes up your face mask and sets the bowl down. “I told him to apologise to you, not to go and bother you," she says, frowning slightly.

“You told him to apologise?” The tone of the conversation shifts, downing just the slightest bit.

Pansy avoids your eyes as she nods, “I just wanted him to say sorry for how he treated you, you didn’t deserve that. But that fucker decided to go and do something weird, I’m sorry, lovely.”

When she’s taken up the nickname lovely for you, you don’t know. But you’re too much into your head to say anything about it. “Please don’t do that. Don’t meddle with this just because you pity me. I can handle this by myself.”

“I don’t—” Pansy pauses, realising the weight of her actions “—I’m sorry, I promise I’ll leave you be.”

You’re nodding when you tell her: “thank you.”

Trying to jot down notes does nothing to soothe your nerves, and it definitely doesn’t distract you from the fact that Theodore Nott is sitting so damn close to you. So close that your thighs were touching, and that with any small move you made, your shoulder brushes against his.

Moving your chair to the right is no use, not when he’d move his just so he’d be closer to you. You’re so close you could practically hear him breathe.

It’s when your quill slips off of your desk that you have to confront him about it. You nudge at his thigh with yours, forcing them to his left only for him to look at you curiously. “Can you move?”

“Why?” He asks instead, planting his thighs where they’d been.

“My quill fell, I need to get it.” You explain, avoiding his eyes as best as you could. His attention is not good for your heart, maybe it two weeks ago, but it definitely wasn’t now.

Theodore is uninterested and unmoving when he quipped back. “And you can’t get like this?”

Not if you didn’t want to plan your face on his lap and be so terribly close to his— yeah no. You sigh, leaning forward to tap at the person’s in front of you shoulder. “Would you mind getting my quill for me please? It’s bit hard for me to reach.”

The person in front nods and leans down to get it for you with a smile. And when they hands it to you, their finger brushing against yours, you distinctly feel Theodore press himself closer to you.

“You could’ve borrowed mine,” Theodore says lowly, eyeing you from above.

He’s slightly taller than you, even when you’re both sat. Trying to prove to him (and yourself) that you were over him, and that this close proximity did not matter to you; you strain your neck up to glare at him. “You could’ve moved.”

“Maybe,” he concurs. “And you could’ve just asked for me to get it for you.”

“Like you’d do that,” you murmur with a roll of your eyes. “For me of all people.”

“For you of all people,” he repeats.

You hate how you instinctively break away from his gaze, looking at your notes as you try to calm your beating heart. Two weeks is nearly not enough to time to get over a crush you’ve been harboring for the longest time, not when you liked him so much you didn’t bother to keep it a secret to anyone and he knows it.

He knows it and he’s using it as an advantage, for what exactly you don’t know. What you do know, is that you need to get away from Theodore Nott. Or kiss him. Whichever works.

You sigh, glancing at your hands and hope that your voice doesn’t tremble when you quietly ask him. “What are you playing at Theodore?” You’re exasperated and he can hear it, he can hear the exhaustion in your voice and he tries his best not to let it get to him. “I know Pansy told you to apologize but you’re not apologizing, you’re just making things worse.”

He doesn’t say anything, though you can still feel his eyes on you. “Excuse me, Professor,” he says suddenly, his shoulder knocking yours as he stood up, “I’m feeling a bit under the weather, would you mind letting me slip to the infirmary?”

His hands are on you, holding firmly onto your wrist as he speaks. “It’s best if I had a friend to help me.” The professor doesn’t get a chance to respond before Theodore is pulling you away from the class.

Your words are jumbled, flailing as you try to match up his pace; you’re confused and against your better judgement, you trust that he wouldn’t hurt you —even if he’d done so many times before.

He comes to a halt by a hallway, it’s quiet still; students having yet left their classes.

He looks at you, dark eyes clouding with emotion and tries to get you to look at him. Practically begging for you to give him your attention before speaking. “How am I making things worse? It’s what you wanted isn’t it?”

“It is,” you say after a minute. “It’s just— this isn’t how I wanted it.

I like you, Theodore. A lot and I’ve made it so clear so many times and you always made it clear that you didn’t like me back. I finally try to get over you and you do this? What even is this? What are you trying to get at, Theo?”

He doesn’t answer you, his hand finally releasing the grip on your wrist to rest by his side.

You scoff, noting how he falls back to his pattern of not speaking to you when you’re practically pouring your heart out to him.

“Why did never ask me out?”

Your expression is puzzled, and he knows that he needs to explain himself, for him to tell you exactly what he meant but can’t bring himself to. Not when he wants to keep his pride in check.

“I did ask you out,” you tell him slowly. “In front of everyone.”

“Exactly,” his reply is breathless as if he had been pondering over this for ages, “in front of everyone. Why didn’t you tell me you like me? Why didn’t you ask me when it’s just you and I?”

“Are you serious?” You let out a ridiculing laugh. “You never wanted to step a single foot next to me and you expected me to ask you when it’s just me and you? Are you kidding me?

Did you ever wonder why I wrote ‘attention is what I want’?”

He’s speechless. And screwed. He can sense that you’re growing agitated with him, and he hates it.

“Would it have changed anything if I had asked you out between you and I?”

His silence is loud enough for you to understand his converted answer.

“Merlin, why did you bring me out here, Theodore?”

Theodore is bad at emotions. He’s bad at feelings, he’s bad at love and everything alike. He doesn’t like you and he’s pretty sure of it. Then why does it bother him so much to know that you no longer wanted anything to do with him.

“I don’t know.”

“Of course you don’t.” You meet his eyes and he knows that this is the end, you’re done with him for good. “Out of all the boys in Hogwarts you just had to be the one I liked, huh?”

“And that’s it?” Ron ask curiously. “You’re finally getting over him?”

“Mhmm,” you hum, waving at Pansy who waved at you from the end of the dining hall, her Slytherin friends pointedly looking between you, Pansy, and Nott. “Finally am.”

Ron doesn’t need to know that despite your mind being set on getting over Nott, your stomach still did somersault every time you see him —even in your peripheral vision.

And when you smile at him, much like you did to everyone else and he doesn’t smile back at you; you feel your heart break all over again.

It’s your own fault though, falling for a mere stranger who you’d only ever spoken to in classes —all of which having been conversations about school.

“Do I get reward?”

Hermione rolls her eyes. “A reward for doing something we’ve been telling you to do for ages? You wish.”

“I’ve been wishing for something else.” The mischievous look on your face is enough to clue her in on where your mind as gone, scrunching her face as she scowls at you. “Gross.”

“Are you okay though?” Harry asks you lowly. “I know it can be hard to get over crushes.” Take him and Chang for example. “So if you need anything we’re here for you.”

“I’m okay,” you tell him. “Or at least I’ll be.”

Harry offers you a smile, as kind as always. “That’s good then.”

It’d only be weird for you to visit the Slytherin common room often (courtesy of Pansy) and for you to not run into Theodore at least once.

You’re standing outside the common room, waiting for Pansy to come and get you when the door swings open and he stands there in front of you. He’s in his pajamas, an oversized sweater pooling at his hands.

“What are you doing here?”

Though you’re also in your pajamas, you feel slightly underdressed under his eyes. Only having worn a loose T-shirt and shorts for girls night.

You want to ask him what he’s doing here but it is his house’s common room so you withheld your question to yourself. “Pansy.”

He gives you a once over before glancing back into the common room, it’s roaring with laughters; a bunch of the Slytherin boys deciding to play card games as they indulge themselves with the alcohol they bought with their father’s money.

“Let me walk you in,” he offers, already turning back into the common room; expecting for you to follow after him.

“You don’t need to—” you don’t get to finish your words when Theodore throws you a sharp look. As if he was asking you to protest him on this. You sigh, following after him.

Theodore stays a good distance away, hiding you and your bare legs from the other Slytherins. He doesn’t really have to though, most of them minding their own business until Blaise chirps up to say hi.

“Hello,” you greeted him back, waving at him. Crabbe, now noticing your interaction lets out a low whistle at the sight of you. And Theodore moves closer to you, almost possessively. “I’ll see you in the morning?”

“Mhmm,” Blaise says, humming before turning his attention back to Enzo. “Goodnight, princess.”

There’s a snicker from Goyle, smirking as he says. “You’re stealing Nott’s girl now?”

You only offer him a smile, feeling Theodore come in over closer to you as he hurries you up the stairs. There’s a thump! from behind and you knew, without seeing, that Blaise threw a pillow at the bastards face.

Theodore doesn’t try to hide his amusement when you curse a hex in Crabbe and Goyle’s way, not when Mattheo’s laughter roared across the room at your spell.

“Thank you,” you tell Theodore, and you noticed that his lips are curled; why exactly, you don’t want to know. “Goodnight, Theodore.”

You’re halfway up the stairs when he calls your name, you turn to him. “Yes?”

“Goodnight,” he says, turning on his heel to leave.

You turn back up the stairs, only to pause and look back at him once, twice; before setting off to find Pansy.

It’s two weeks later when Theodore bumps into you again, this time; quite literally. His hands are on you, stilling you so you wouldn’t fall flat on your ass.

The dance floor is crowded, but it’s to be expected when one of the most popular students at Hogwarts (read: Blaise Zabini) is throwing a birthday party.

You’re —by extension through Pansy, a friend of his which means you needed to be there or he’d be pretty (very) sad about it and pester you about it for the rest of your life.

“Woah!” Your hands lay awkwardly on his chest, trying to push him away whilst trying to balance yourself still. “Watch where you’re going.”

Theodore straightens you up, hands lingering a little too long before letting you go. “Sorry,” he murmurs, “I’m sorry.”

And though you promised yourself to let go off Theodore months ago, you can’t help but feel your heart twist at his words. Skin burning where he’d touch you mere seconds ago.

“It’s fine,” you wave him off, “just be more careful.”

“Yeah.” His tone is breathless, blinking at you slowly as if he couldn’t believe you were so close to him. “You look nice.”

You better hope so, it’s not like you spend an hour getting ready to look anything but nice. And despite your better judgment, you feel butterflies setting off in your stomach once more. But that could’ve also been caused by the mixed concoction you downed five minutes ago.

“Thank you,” you murmur. “You too, Theo.”

“Mhmm,” he hums nodding, his expression is hesitant. “Thank you,” he says, turning his head to the side and under the clubbing lights, you can easily spot the tinging redness at the top of his ears. “Do you want to get out of here?”

“What?” It’s not that you didn’t hear him, it’s that you didn’t want to hear him. Because you knew, damn well, that if he’d just repeated himself you would agree within a heartbeat.

He gulps, and repeat himself. “Do you want to get out of here?”

Maybe your heart is weak, maybe it’s the alcohol, or maybe it’s just Theodore that gets you out of there with him attached to your lips.

His hand pressing into the small of your back as you leaned against the wall, a small groan slipping from his lips when you nipped on it.

Theodore pulls back, eyes wide and roaming your face as he takes your features in; memorising the slope of your nose, the plumpness in your lips, and the apples of your cheeks as if this was the last time he’d be able to do so. And presses his lips to yours once more.

He calls out your name, a free hand reaching up to cup your jaw so you’d look at him. For you to give him the attention he so desperately wanted from you. “I’m sorry,” he says, “I know you probably hate me and I’m so sorry but give me a chance, please.”

His tone is desperate, almost begging as he did so and you wonder if he knew the impact he still had on you. He lets go of your jaw, arm wrapping around your waist, bringing you impossibly closer to him.

“Give me a chance to make it up to you,” he asks of you, mouth pressing wet kisses down your neck as he repeats himself. “Please, please, pretty girl.”

“Theo.” His kisses doesn’t stop, much less falter at your words. “Theo.”

“Mhmm?” He hums against your neck, pulling back to give you his full an undivided attention. “Yes?”

He’s a bit taken aback when you kiss him quickly, chasing your lips as you pulled back. “You have a lot to make up for.”

“I know.” The curled smile of his returns, dark eyes glinting as he looks at you. “But for now let me give you all my attention.”

— from bee: i guess reader got what she wished for at the end lol, feedbacks and reblogs are greatly appreciated!! (๑>◡<๑)

p.s this pic of mingyu is so (my) bf i love him!!

#theodore nott x y/n #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x you #theodore nott angst #theodore nott fluff #theodore nott scenarios #theodore nott imagines #theodore nott headcanons #theodore nott fanfiction #theodore nott fanfic #🧳: my writing #Spotify

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koolades-world · 1 year

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Obey me! brothers and their secondary sin w/ sin swap

Ok hear me out. Each of the brothers has their primary sin, obviously. It’s what caught my attention to the game in the first place. After all, dating the avatars of the seven deadly sins is pretty eye catching

However, after playing the game for about a year now and really digging into the lore of the brothers, I can’t help but notice some patterns. At the beginning of the game, I actually kept thinking Levi was the avatar of greed from the way he behaved.

As I was writing it, it made less and less sense to me and sounded more stupid but hopefully y'all think it makes sense

Lucifer’s second sin is lust.

Half a joke, but have you seen this man?? He oozes sex appeal. Makes you wonder just how many demons or people have thrown themselves at him just for him to push them all away. Who wouldn't want to date him? He could have anybody, he just needed to say the word. He claims he has no desires, but he just hides them away very well, as shown by the hellfire newt syrup incident. All he needs is to be a little more free and a little less afraid of word getting out. Asmo probably claims it takes years off his face lol

Would still be very diligent and do his duties, but half the time that door is locked, he's probably getting it on

Not sure if it would be the same person or people, or different people, just depends on him

Overall, I think he would be able the same. Lucifer is Lucifer after all

Mammon’s second sin is envy.

Mammon loves his money, but greed and envy are usually a package deal. It's difficult for me to explain, but someone who is greedy is usually envious and vice versa. Greed and envy run close together since Mammon gets out more, envy would have a larger impact on his life. Not to say that Levi isn’t jealous, but it’s easier to not get envious when you’re not in you’re room all day, every day.

Not much change. Would definitely get matching jewelry with Mc, with his name on it if possible if they didn’t already

Not that he liked sharing before, but he won't budge for anyone now

Don’t even think about touching Mc, like don’t even look at them

Levi’s second sin is greed.

Like I said before, I actually though Levi was greed at first. I learnt pretty quickly who was who after a week or so of playing. Levi is envious and does not want to share Mc, which is greed. I’m starting to think Mammon and Levi argue so much because they’re so similar.

Overall, not much would change, like Mammon

Would be less inclined to share, which does extend to Mc to an extent

Definitely finds ways to keep Mc with him “accidentally”

Satan’s second sin is gluttony.

This was actually the easiest for me to match. He’s not hungry per say, but he’s hungry for knowledge. He reads lots of fiction books, be he also reads lists of nonfiction books. The amount of stuff he must know is insane. His brothers are smart too, but what sets them apart is that he is always actively seeking it out. He is always seen with a book in hand, so he’s always learning something. On top of that, there’s also school so he’s learning there too. Part of me thinks he wants to learn so much is to learn more about himself and to be better/more knowledgeable than Lucifer

Despite me saying it was the easiest to match Satan to gluttony it’s also the hardest for me to imagine him as a traditional gluttony demon

Probably uses this to his advantage in a way to read more, since he’s always reading while eating and now they can’t stop him because then he’ll go on a rampage

Probably still just as clean and tidy as before, so absolutely no food in his room. Midnight stacks stay in the kitchen

Probably also sees this as a bit of a break. Like he can just walk around without getting mad at how that demon’s face looks

Asmo’s second sin is sloth. I almost gave him both wrath and pride, but eventually settled for sloth. He’s never actually blown up in game and hasn’t tried to kill Mc (I think) but the things he’s says sometimes are incredibly threatening and are scarier coming from him than from Satan. Like that one time he was like “if you ever lie to me again I’m going to rip out your heart out to see if your heart is telling the truth” and he was giving this dead serious scary look I nearly shit myself. He’s also incredibly vane and will kill anyone who disagrees, which means he’s very prideful. It’s a different kind of pride than Lucifer, but it is pride nonetheless. I gave him sloth in the end because he's perfectly content with letting everything come to him. He likes partying, yes, and he has his skincare routine while Belphie does not, but Belphie is sloth to the most extreme. If he was allowed, he would probably have people do everything for him.

If Asmo was a sloth demon, he would have people do everything for him. Dress him, do his makeup, feed him

He would still dress cute, and love partying but all the parties would have to come to him

Online shopping would become his best friend

He would probably love devilgram more since it’s convenient and easy

Beel’s second sin is pride.

While he doesn't care much what other people say about him, he cares very much about his family. A single wrong word about any of his brothers, or god forbid, his sister, you are guaranteed to go flying through the nearest wall. His family is the thing most important to him. He's proud of them and everything they've done, and is very supportive. Lucifer is the same way and they both display it in a quiet way. I don't know if there's a word for being prideful on the behalf of others.

Expect him to be much more possessive

He's the same but this man will not take shit anymore

Someone looks at you wrong? sorry babe it's other side of hell for them. Someone making fun of you (why they would do that when you know the brothers is a death wish)? You’ll never see them again unless you find their head on the RAD flagpole

Belphie’s second sin is wrath.

This demon has major issues. Ever since the fall, he's been mad. Mad mostly at humanity, probably a little bit at himself. All he has wanted to do is get revenge on humanity for what they did to his sister. He might seem like a cute, sleepy demon, but there's so much boiling under the surface. He literally strangled Mc, for crying out loud. Just because he likes Mc doesn't mean he likes other humans or has forgiven humanity as a matter of fact. Only second to Satan since he was literally born of rage

I imagine Belphie almost as normal but a lot more irritable. If you are not Beel, do not wake him up from a nap and expect him to be happy

I feel as if pranks towards Lucifer are a way to channel his rage so either they would ramp up times one hundred or disappear altogether because he would be bullying Lucifer in other ways LOL

His grades would probably become even better than Satan’s and Lucifer’s since Satan and Lucifer actually try and Belphie can do the same without effort. Without sleeping 24/7 he would have more time to put in more effort

I want to write a longer fic about the brothers with these swapped sins and/or take a deeper dive into how each brother does or doesn't display each sin since I love character analysis :)

I think it would also be interesting just to break down what it is to be a demon of a certain sin, not just the brothers specifically

#obey me #obey me!#obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me x reader #obey me belphie #obey me mammon #obey me x mc #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me lucifer

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vioartemis · 11 months

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Failed relationship

(Wednesday Addams x fem! reader)

Summary: You meet Wednesday Addams, and quickly develop feelings for her, which leads to the two of you to start a romantic relationship. But things don't always go as expected... Warnings: angst, Wednesday has a phone a/n: this is very personal (by that I mean it’s what happened with my ex lol), sorry if you don't relate to r like you usually would (English isn't my first language, I'm sorry if there are mistakes or if something doesn't make sense TvT)

The beginning of the semester had been marked with the arrival of a new student at Nevermore; Wednesday Addams. The second she stepped into the classroom, she caught your attention.

You didn't exactly knew why, but you felt like you could get along well.

The only thing was you had no idea how to start a conversation with her. It was not easy to catch her before she left the class after the bell had rung; she was really quick to walk away, you barely had time to close your pencil case that she was already gone.

But a few weeks after the semester had begun, the perfect opportunity came to you.

Yoko had been sent to the infirmary for a 'garlic incident', and Wednesday would replace her as the Black Cats' co-captain.

"You should put some gloves on" you told her as she walked past you

"Excuse me?"

"I said you should put some gloves on"

"Why is that?"

"There's no rules in the Poe cup, who knows what your opponents could have put on the oars"

Wednesday stared at you, seemingly thinking about what you just said. Then, she nodded slightly, showing that your remark was valid.

"I'll ask Enid for gloves then."

She turned around, ready to leave.

"I don't think she has an extra pair. But I can lend you mine if you want" you offered kindly

There's a little silence before she faced you again and spoke.

"Why would you do that? You owe me nothing."

"I know, I just- I just want to help"

You handed her the gloves with a gentle smile, waiting for her to stop looking at you suspiciously. Eventually, she took the gloves. Her fingers brushed over yours in the process.

She opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, Enid shouted at her to come in the boat as the race was about to start.

"You should go, if you really want to humiliate Bianca" you smiled

She nodded and made her way to the Black Cats' boat, putting the gloves on.

As expected with Wednesday on the team, Ophelia Hall won the Poe cup, for Bianca's greatest misfortune. After the race, when Weems was busy congratulating the team, the ravenette came to you.

"You were right; there was indeed something on the oars. How did you know?"

"I saw Bianca going out of Miss Thornhill's class with a jar last night, and thought it had something to do with the Poe cup"

"So it was just an assumption. It could have been for more innocent purposes." she paused "What is it exactly that she took from Miss Thornhill's greenhouse?"

"I have no idea, I couldn't see" you sighed, shrugging

There was a little silence before she started talking again.

"Would you mind if I kept your gloves for some time? I would like to study this mysterious substance."

"No, of course, you can keep them! You'll tell me how your investigation go?"

She frowned, wondering why you would be interested in that, looking at you, then at the ground, then back at you, and nodded slightly, before walking away.

You smiled to yourself as you watched her made her way into the school; now you had an excuse to talk to her.

As expected, approaching her was way easier. You talked quite a lot the next weeks, first about what Bianca could have put on the oars, but little by little, the conversation drifted to more personal things; you got to know each other a bit more during this week.

You didn't want to go too fast, but you were pretty sure she saw you as a good friend.

This thought was confirmed on Friday, right after you learnt one of your teachers wouldn't be here that day, which would give you a 4 hour long lunch break.

You were internally celebrating, already thinking about what you would do, when you noticed a little paper on your desk. You frowned, wondering from where it was from, before taking it and unfolding it.

On the paper, there was only a phone number and two words 'Weathervane, 3pm.' written in perfect cursive, with what seemed to be a black fountain pen.

You looked up to Wednesday, who was sitting in front of you in class. She was facing away from you, but you were sure the note was from her.

You didn't really know how to react; you didn't expect her to have a phone, let alone passing you a note with her number written on it.

During lunch break you thought about texting her but didn't know what to say. Her note was pretty clear, there was no questions to be asked. Why did she give you her number then?

You decided not to question it for now; you were really excited to see her this afternoon, and a bit nervous too.

You didn't exactly know what your feelings were when it came to her, but you were the only thing you were sure of was that you would definitely not mind if your friendship evolved into something else.

You arrived at the Weathervane 5 minutes early and took out your phone. Now this was the perfect occasion to text her.

'Hey Wednesday, it's Y/n. Just to let you know that I'm here :)'

Why did I put an emoji...? you asked yourself, staring at your phone, questioning your life choices.

Her reply was quick: 'I'm already inside.'

You looked up from your phone and turned to face the café. She was, indeed, inside, waiting for you at a table. Great, you thought, now I look like an idiot.

You entered the café, already embarrassed, and walked to the ravenette, sitting in front of her.

"Hi, sorry, did you wait a long time?"

"I got here five minutes ago. I prefer being early. Do you want to drink something? A coffee, perhaps?"

"I- I have to confess... I've never been here before, so I have no idea what they sell... What do you advise me to order?"

"That's quite surprising, I thought all the students always came here. Don't you think it's a bit risky that I choose your order for you? You will probably not like it."

"It's okay, I trust you. I'm sure I will like it" you replied with a smile

She took a moment to look at you, considering your request, before pointing a drink on the menu.

You smiled, and then ordered what she had advice you to try.

"Is it what you expected?" she asked after you took a sip of your drink

"I don't know what I expected, but it's really good! I knew I could trust you"

You gave her a joyful smile as you took another sip. It definitely was really good; you were sure to come again and order that from now on.

"What do you want to talk about now that we have our drinks?" Wednesday asked

"Oh uh... I don't know, I didn't think about that... I'm not really good at that; socializing"

"I can't say I'm the best at it either." she paused "Perhaps we could start by talking about our day?"

You nodded at her words.

"I think it would be a good start"

The rest of the hour you spent together went well, you enjoyed your time with her. And you started to think she did too.; the next day, you spent most of the day texting each other.

Wednesday happened to be a bit more talkative than you imagined, especially when you were debating on books. But that was not what you were talking about right now.

Wednesday: I'm going to kill them.

You: Whoever you want to kill, please don't! I wouldn't want you to go in jail

Wednesday: If I had to kill anyone, nobody would know. I'm too good at it.

You: Oh, sure. If you need help to hide a body, I'm here

Wednesday: Be careful, I could call.

You: I don't mind helping, especially if it's you

The conversation continued on that theme for a moment, before it drifted onto something else. You had mentioned your ex at one point in the conversation, and added that you missed having someone to love.

Wednesday: It will come back. Soon, perhaps.

You: Yeah, maybe sooner than expected (even tho I don't expect much)

Wednesday: Unexpected always happen.

You starred at your phone for a solid 5 minutes after this, trying to figure out whether her text had a hidden meaning or not. Especially since you just agreed on seeing each other on Monday, meaning in two days.

That could mean she knows I like her, and maybe she likes me too! Or I'm just overthinking again... you thought.

The conversation you had the next day only confirmed that thought, to your greatest happiness.

Wednesday had just paid you a compliment, which was getting less unusual as time went by, and you told her you were not used to be talked to like that.

Wednesday: I can imagine that, considering how your ex was. Are you sure you don't want to give away her name?

You: You're not wrong. And yeah, I don't want to "snitch"

Wednesday: You really are too kind. I already had the knife ready.

You: Oh, please don't. She's not worth it

Wednesday: I won't. But I do love dark humor. And if she ever tries to be near you again, I will put that knife to good use.

You: I appreciate it, but why would you do that?

Wednesday: First, because I'm jealous. Second, she only deserves it.

You smiled behind your screen. She was jealous, hm? Maybe she did like you after all.

You: I didn't think you would be jealous! But you're right, she kinda deserves it

Wednesday: I can be. But I've always been told it was not something good, so I don't show it often.

You: Personally, I think it's cute! As long as it's not extreme jealousy of course

Wednesday: I'm never extreme, you should know that.

You: Yeah, that's why you totally don't spend your night trying to analyse what substance is on my gloves since the Poe cup. Don't forget to take some time to rest, okay?

Wednesday: I know, I will. I'm... really looking forward to our meeting tomorrow.

You stayed frozen for a second, not expecting her to say that. You had to double check to be sure you weren't hallucinating. The text was still here, so it was really real.

You: That's one of the only reasons why I'm excited about tomorrow, this little moment with you

Wednesday: Are you sure? Because it looks like you want me dead. My heart is beating incredibly fast, I think I may have a heart attack.

You: I clearly get what you're feeling right now... I feel it too. But it's okay, it's a good heart attack

Wednesday: If we're going down that path all the time, by the end of the week I'm writing you dozen of poems.

You could feel your face burn now. You didn't expect things to escalate so quickly in one night. Because this was flirting, right? It looked like it, at least.

You: Is that- are we... flirting right now...? Sorry I'm really dumb but I want to make sure we're on the same page... Cause I'd like to flirt with you, if it's okay...

Wednesday: I wouldn't mind if you were to flirt with me.

You put your phone away, covering your face with your hands to stop the burning of your cheeks, and rolled on the floor of your room. That means she likes me, ljkhgjhkjhljgfkh!!

You took a minute to compose yourself and grabbed your phone again. Your hands were shaking a bit.

You: So... can we consider tomorrow's meeting as... a date?

Wednesday: If you want to call it that way, I don't mind calling it a date.

You: I'd be more than happy to call it a date with you

Wednesday: A date it is, then. It sounds... great.

You were so excited you could barely contain yourself. You were kicking your feet, smiling uncontrollably. You had a date with Wednesday Addams. You never thought it would be possible.

You talked a bit more that night, before eventually going to sleep. Or at least trying to. You were so excited for your date; you didn't know if you would be able to sleep.

A few weeks after that night, you started to question things. Wednesday and you went on more dates, but your relationship was still undefined.

You didn't think you could be called friends, at this point. But you didn't know if you could be called girlfriends either, or if she wanted you to be girlfriends.

You had already asked her what you two were, and she replied that she didn't know, that you would figure it out together, which did not really help. So you decided it was time to make a move.

You took a deep breath, grabbed your phone, and started typing: 'Hypothetically, if I asked you to be my girlfriend... what would you say?'

She took a moment to reply, during which you started overthinking the whole thing. But out of all the different scenarios that had popped in your head, her answer was none of them.

In her text, she said that you had ruined her plan, that she had planned a more... romantic way to ask you out. So you suggested to erase this conversation from your memory so she could do what she had planned on.

Her romantic side always surprised you, but you weren't complaining. You really liked it, and whatever she wanted to do to ask you out, you were sure you would like it too.

Maybe two weeks later, Wednesday suggested you go on a date, at night. Of course, you agreed; you were always happy to spend more time with her.

She took you somewhere in the forest surrounding Nevermore. You walked for a little while, until you finally saw a blanket on the ground, with all that is necessary for a picnic.

You had a good time with her, laying on the blanket under the stars after you finished eating. It was very romantic, especially since at one point, she played some music on a Bluetooth speaker.

'Lover', by Taylor Swift. Totally not her style of music.

You looked over to her with a questioning look.

"There is something I want to tell you, Y/n."

"What is it?" you said gently, smiling

"... I find it really pleasant to go on dates with you. I would like you to be my girlfriend."

You blushed at her words, not expecting her to ask you out at this moment. She must have seen it, because her lips curl up a bit.

"Is it a yes?"

"Of course it's a yes!"

Your now official couple statut didn't change a lot of things between the two of you. Except that now you could call her your girlfriend, and vice versa.

Oh, yes. There was one little change; she showed her care for you a little more.

One day during winter, you both went ice skating. You were not really good at it, but it was fun anyways. Wednesday even offered you took her hand so you didn't fall too much, as she was really good at ice skating.

Offer that you accepted, of course.

But at one point, you decided to try and go by yourself, which resulted in you falling miserably after you took too much confidence.

Wednesday came to rescue you with a slight smirk.

"I look so dumb..." you mumbled, blushing in embarrassment

"I would rather say you looked cute."

"If I may... I'd prefer you call me yours rather than cute" you said quietly, almost as a joke, as she helped you get up

"Oh, you're mine, don't doubt it, cara mia."

<><><><> ♡ <><><><>

Wednesday and you hadn't really talked in weeks. It was limited to 'hello' when you saw each other in the hallways between classes. You tried to discuss it with her, but never knew how to bring that up.

You suggested you both go out to spend a bit of time together, but she was always busy. 'Another time' that's what she said. But said time never seem to come.

You talked about it with Yoko, your best friend. She told you to do exactly what you already did, that it was nothing, that you just needed to talk about that.

But deep down, you knew.

You could feel it wasn't just 'nothing'. It was more than that.

Yet you still had hope.

"Y/n."

You turned around, hearing her calling you. You finally managed to find a moment to discuss the problem.

"Wednesday, I-"

"We should talk."

You felt your heart sink at her words. It was never good when it started that way.

"Yeah, I was thinking that too..."

"Is there a particular thing you would want to talk about?"

"Maybe the fact that we don't talk anymore, that we almost never see each other anymore...?"

"Indeed. I think it's a must, instead of talking about it with our friends."

You nodded.

"What can we say about that? Is it because... we're falling apart? Or just because neither of us really has time?"

"We surely don't have the time. But we don't try to have it either. Or at least, I don't anymore." she paused "And I'm not 'falling apart'. Rather that I made it clear with myself about the fact I was not going to fall."

Your heart ached at her words.

"So uh..." you gulped, throat tight "What does this mean, for us...?"

She doesn't answer just yet, taking the time to consider your question.

"Don't you think we should just break up?" she finally said "What is your point of view? I don't want to do it without expressing yourself about the last two months."

It took every ounce of strength you had to hold back your tears.

"I- honestly... I'm not really doing okay not seeing you, or talking to you... I... I miss you, Wednesday..."

The ravenette nodded slightly.

"It's simply that... I don't get the spark. Or whatever it's supposed to be. I don't feel it."

"Oh..." you said quietly "Maybe we should just break up then... I- trust me, I don't want to; I'd like to give us a chance... but if you don't feel like it, it's okay..."

"We don't work well, but not to the point to break up. We just don't try."

What do you mean we don't try? I- I feel like I'm doing everything I can to make it work... you thought.

"And I know, I'm often busy, so not really caring. But I warned you. As for in class... It's rather uncomfortable for me to be next to you. I have no clue on how to act." she continued

"You don't have to force yourself in anything- if it really makes you uncomfortable, we don't have to sit next to each other... And if it's really not working..."

"I don't know if it's working. Don't get me wrong; you don't make me feel bad. But you don't make me feel incredibly good either. Nobody does."

"So we just... stop here...?"

You tried your best not to make it too obvious your voice was shaking.

"... I think we should."

The aftermath of the breakup was... a bit weird.

That very night after it ended, you cried yourself to sleep. The next day, you had to hold back your tears while in class, and almost broke down when your friend asked you if you were okay.

But the next week, the one before your school trip, was okay. You didn't think about that, you were too busy preparing your things for the trip.

It was the same during the 10 days that lasted the trip. You were too busy to think about it, and too tired at night not to fall asleep almost instantly.

When it really became hard, was a few days after you went back home; one night, you broke into tears. You cried for more than an hour. As if it was only now that you realized things were really over between the two of you.

You felt so dumb. You should have known it was too good to last. You should have seen it coming. By the way she kept cancelling your plans, or be late to the ones she didn't cancel; by the way you barely had a real conversation at one point; by the way she never said she loved you, or liked you, or nothing like that -which didn't bother you at first, knowing her, but after all that happened, it seemed obvious.

And the fact that Wednesday and you were in the same class did not help. Especially since she seemingly had no problems talking to you after all that, like nothing happened.

It only hurt you more. She seemed to have moved on quickly, almost like she didn't care.

4 months after the breakup, you were doing better. At least that's what you tried to convince yourself of.

You had almost no problem talking to her now and were not thinking about your relationship anymore.

But one night, as you were slipping under the covers, you kicked a plushie. You frowned and grabbed it.

It was the bat stuffed animal she had bought you for your birthday.

You couldn't throw it away. You were attached to it now.

You looked at it for a little while and brought it to your nose. It didn't smell like her anymore.

A new wave of sadness washed over you, and tears began to fall.

You couldn't do it anymore. You had to find a solution to stop having breakdown because of this failed relationship.

Only one thing came to your mind. Writing.

And that's what lead you to sit in front of your computer, 40 screenshots of your conversations with her on your phone, ready to flaunt your feelings on paper.

#wednesday addams #wednesday #wednesday x fem reader #wednesday addams x fem reader #wednesday addams x reader #wednesday netflix

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punchliiine · 3 months

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things i've learned through shifting

i don't know what to post so i thought of posting some stuff that i've learned, improved, and simply practiced through shifting. it's not a lot but it's a lot.

so firstly, i thought of introducing some of my hobbies prior to shifting, and then ones that i've picked up after shifting. and lastly provide any details if needed.

I - hobbies

↳ before shifting

↳ ↳ reading

i've been able to read SO many books in my library wr.

i have a huge list of books that i've put off because of school, but through shifting to my wr, i've been able to finish at least 66 out of 117 i believe?

also i was able to find some of my favorite authors through this, like sylvia plath, mahmoud darwish, virginia woolf, khalil gibran.. and honestly, a lot more, but these are the ones that i remember for now.

↳ ↳ writing

in my native language, i've become REALLY good. as for writing in english it's ?!? but i'm slowly getting there.

not showing off, but i was really good prior to shifting. but now, i've become REALLY good, like now i'm able to touch the soul with my poetry. i also learned some tips for expressing 'my' feelings.

one of them is to think about a phenomenon in nature that resembles how you feel, whether it's by colors, weather, atmosphere, movements.. etc. then write about how each of the elements relate to what you're wishing to express. and ever since i learned that expressing my feelings // painting a scene whilst writing feels so, so much easier.

i guess the same can be used for drawing or painting? so feel free to interpret it in your own ways!

the only reason i emphasized on 'my' feelings was because the things i learnt in there were personal to my learning. before shifting, i had scripted that they would match me and fit me perfectly, so they wouldn't apply to everybody if that makes sense? but if you feel like it fits you, then you're more than welocme to use it!

+ i don't take any sort of credit for it since somebody might've thought of it first, i'm only here to share it!!

↳ ↳ drawing - painting

i was able to experiment freely with color theory, perspective, expressionism, symbolism.. etc. and i was able to find my art style! and practice some others i found interesting.

↳ ↳ editing

nothing to say about this one other than the fact that i was able to experiment with so many styles, and i reallllyyy enjoyed it. i also got to watch some of my old edits that have been deleted. (have been meaning i deleted them) 10/10.

↳ after shifting

↳ ↳ sewing

currently in the process of making a cute pair of opera gloves, idk how to explain it but yk the ones that are pitch black by the finger tips and fade as they go up? those are the ones that i'm attempting to make. and so far it's good!

↳ ↳ crocheting

i've recently made a doll i've found online which looks like little red riding hood, and it's cute. also i'm currently making a chibi jjk cat beanie (sashisu the world!!! ๑ > ᴗ < ๑)

↳ ↳ sculpting

i've sculpted hands, like tons of them. and i've used gojo satoru as a muse for at least 100% of them (i am insane about him)

some appreciation for my muse's hands:

can we talk about the fact that his fingers are 6 inches anyway!!!!!

II - skills

it's worth the mention that i've become skillful in most of my hobbies "it isn't necessary to become skillful in any of your hobbies for plenty of reasons, but i aspire to!" i'd say intermediate in most, advanced in a few.

also idk if it counts as a skill, but i have become skillful in all of my subjects. like i have become amazing in math and physics thanks to my study wr <3

as for other subjects i've always been amazing, but with math and physics, i've had awful teachers teach me crucial information, so i was miserable for a bit, but thankfully not anymore!

i know i could've manifested it since i use loassumption all the time, but i love studying, so i wanted to go through the whole process if that makes sense? like i didn't wanna take the shortcut (manifesting) + there's no shame in wanting to take the shortcut.

as for real skills.. yeaaah not yet

III - languages

i've become better in korean.. i can sort of understand people when they're speaking? but i can't speak nor write. but hey, at least i'm enjoying the proces, that counts for something!

i'm aware that there are some things in here that i could've gone on the internet and just practiced // learnt. BUT the way i did it was different, i went to a wr where i got to learn all about my hobbies, skills, subjects, and languages and practice freely without any sort of stress whatsoever + occasionally recieve tips and advice. and it was all free and unbelievably fun!!!

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buttbiscuit · 2 years

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HoH Steve Harrington headcanons because I love him (ft a lot of Steddie)

He slowly developed hearing issues in his teens and early adolescence but didn't notice at first. He learnt how to lip read by accident because he just realised it was easier to understand people when he was doing it. He didn't know it was an actual thing.

He secretly loves that Dustin calls him a cool cyborg for having hearing aids

Going to Eddie's gigs and not giving a shit about not knowing any of the lyrics to any of the songs because he can't understand them anyway. He loves the way he can feel the loud music through his entire body.

"I can't see what you're saying!" When Eddie gets distracted and covers his mouth or turns away from Steve while they're talking.

Early mornings when he doesn't have his hearing aids in and Eddie tells him to stop stomping around so much but Steve doesn't even realise he's doing it and so Eddie calls him a dinosaur and Steve tackles him whenever he makes little t-rex arms

Absolute fucking bliss of taking his hearing aids out at night and letting the noise of the world disappear.

He can't hear those annoying cicadas everyone complains about during summer nights.

Eddie buys him an ASL book but he gives up after learning literally 3 words in ASL. He learnt enough just so he can communicate with Eddie across a noisy bar (The words are "drunk," "bathroom," and "let's go") and he never uses it anywhere else.

He loves when people see his hearing aids and assume he obviously knows sign language because he always replies with "of course" and flips them off 🖕

Saying "I can't hear you 🤷‍♂️ sorry" or "hearing aids broke this morning" when he can very clearly hear the kids but he doesn't want to listen to them

Family Video having the biggest stock of subtitled movies because Robin keeps secretly ordering them for Steve

After he gets his hearing aids he realises he really likes movies more now that he can understand the characters and follow dialogue and pick up on the musical cues

Calling out Eddie for gossiping about him across a room because even though they're not within earshot, he can clearly lipread that Eddie said his name.

Having the radio absolutely cranked in his car and it startles Robin every single time which makes Steve laugh. She'll learn to turn the volume down before turning it on eventually.

"Oh my god where are my ears" when he can't find his hearing aids in the morning and Eddie says "on the sides of your head" to which Steve shouts "Shut up!" its such a frequent occurrence that Eddie doesn't even have to say it anymore but Steve still tells him to shut up

Wayne got a bit annoyed at the boys having the TV up so loud but after Eddie explains he has to because Steve can't hear so well, he never complained about it again.

He absolutely loves that Robin and Eddie talk with their entire bodies and are so expressive and have good annunciation (which they probably picked up from doing drama in school) because he can understand them really well.

Dustin constantly trying to sneak up behind Steve to scare him but because he's so used to being extra aware of his visual surroundings it never works.

Robin learning to perfectly imitate the way he says "Huh?" every time he can't hear her from across the store

Eddie knowing immediately when Steve didn't understand what someone said because he always does the same "Yeah, totally!" nod and smile.

Steve constantly bugging Eddie to wear hearing protection at gigs and go for a hearing test.

#i will romanticise the shit out of disabled characters until theyre given enough happy treatment!!!!#not all of these posts have to be abt hurt!! sometimes people with disabilites are happy and enjoy the fun lil things that happen to them #also im not hoh but i grew up in a household w a hoh parent AND i have apd and was mostly hoh until i was like 5 even if i dont remember it #so im like...... on the cusp of being allowed to use personal experience to talk abt this sort of thing and also not being HoH so idk #if ur hoh and think im way out of line for this lmk and ill delete but i think hoh steve is wonderful #its a good disability hc that we dknt see a lot of and i wanna make sure people who have no hoh experience see some of the funner parts #hoh!steve #HoH!Steve Harrington #HoH Steve Harrington #steve harrington #steddie #dustin henderson #robin buckley #robin and dustin steve's number 1 fans ily #stranger things headcanon #steve harrington headcanon

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lud1crousal · 1 month

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alterhuman alphabet :3

amazing alphabet done by local-xenogender-icon with pathetic answers by me!

A - awakening

i realized i was an therian around 2020. ( i had a lot of free time to actually think about stuff ) .

as for my fictionkins? i never knew the term for it and just assumed it was a tism thing (which, i mean.. it kinda is for me) so i guess you can say since i was 6 or around the age!

B - balance

i dont have any friends. this is 100% a tism thing, but a part of me feels like its an alterhuman thing. i dont understand people that well, but i understand animals!!

as for my grades at school, and navigating school in general- its kinda weird knowing everyone around me is human. my grades are fine, infact im ahead of most people my age. i can communicate with my teachers and peers decently (only when necessary i panic otherwise-) and i get my work done usually on time and easily.

i do experience phantom shifts at school, but they never get in the way!! other than that, im like a spy, sent to spy on the humans !!

C - city

NOPE!!! though i dont really like where i live either... its really conservative.

i got harassed one time while going on a walk just because my hair is un-naturally colored.. :-(

D - diary

Actually, i did come into possession of a diary i could use, but im not to sure how to start one!

E - experience in the community

it kind of depends. the ytubers seem cool, and so do people on tumblr. just a bit intimidating i guess? tiktok is cool too, i love seeing peoples masks and stuff.. but its kinda toxic. mainly because it gives easier access to mainstream without proper education on the topic.

definitely one of the nicer community's ive been in though!!

F - friends

no............... i did try to tell my older sister in 2020 but she judges a lot, im scared to try again. she knows i do quads and judges them for me ALOT! but she loves me (i think-) and shes the only 'friend' i have so-.

G - gear

i own a coyote tail, and ive got masks !!! i also have pets, might seem weird to say their gear but they feel like my little family, even when im more coyote than cat. I also have raccoon stuffies!

I - identity

theriotypes - coyote, rusty spotted cat, siberan-mainecoone mix cat.

kintypes - dave strider, ponyboy curtis

other- raccoon copinglink, feline genus otherhearted

J - jokes

both. it depends on my mood, but im mostly joking around :)

K - knowldege

7/10 :0 im so invested on researching though... so this # will go up im sure. (i say 7 for alot of things though... )

L - liking, loving

i love them :3 its funny, because ive never liked dogs, but my 'main' theriotype is a canine.

N - nature

WILD!!! well, except for my siberian-mainecoone cat. its actually my old (and unfortunely dead) cat.

O - otherhearted

the entire feline genus. ive known this since i was little i think, just never knew the term.

P - popularity

i think my rusty spotted cat is the rarest. im pretty sure my coyote may be the most common?

R - real body

im trans and used to struggle with an ed, so absolutely. my kins effect this heavily as were all male yet we dont represent that on the outside. i sometimes experience species dysphoria, but i think i identify as human just as much as i do animal.

S - sex

no? i think this question might be more for others ahA-

i think my theriotypes are me, and therefore would have the same sex as me.

(though i am female sex, we can pretend i am not- )

T - traits

this is kinda hard to awnser. im not really territoral, but i like to have my own territory, you know? and its like that with basically everything-

i hate putting my own experiences in my own words asidjijfeo0fo

Urges

I lowkey get preydrive as a cat, because i hear birds so often- i think ive learnt to control it growing up, so i can handle it easily.

bonus of living in the country i guess?

W - wondering

wowowowowo (+ my pfp)

Y - yarn

both? though the tail i have currently is real fur.

Z - zoo

They make me sad. I would much rather go to a rescue than a zoo.

#therian #canine therian #otherkin #fictionkin #non human #therian community #quadrobics #coyotekin #otherhearted #nonhuman community #raccoon #copinglink #alphabet #alterhuman alphabet made by local-xenogender-icon #local-xenogender-icon #alterhumanity #alter intro #homestuck mention

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izicodes · 11 months

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I want to get into coding but I’m scared about working for a company and talking to people lol and I don’t think I’m creative enough. what do meetings and the job consist of? i have this assumption in the back of my mind like “what more is there to say/do other than code a website?” haha hope this is ok to ask! it’s super vague tbh I can’t find anything that touches base to a specific level enough online.

also, I’m not a math genius… very insecure about that since high/middle school. do I still have a chance? how does math go into coding?

Hiya! 💗

I completely understand how you feel because I felt the exact same thing when I started working at my current workplace.

Working for a company

Many coding jobs do require collaboration and communication with others. However, it's important to remember that not all coding roles involve extensive social interaction. There are positions where you can work independently or have limited interaction with colleagues.

In my case, I work in the office Monday and Friday. Mondays are when everyone in the whole IT Department is in, except those who are off or on holiday etc. This is what I do:

I walk in

sit at my desk near the window

headphones in

code - occasionally turn around and annoy the Lead Web Developer with cries because my code isn't working (he then solves it in 10 seconds...)

At around 2:30pm is an IT meeting in the conference room. What do we discuss?

IT manager discusses any updates as an IT department as a whole. Any concerns about the technology used in the company. Any bootcamps we need to do internally, how was everyone's holidays, a little gossip.

Then everyone takes turns and discuss what they did the past week

That's it.

That's my company but I assume it's something similar for other companies. It's also important to know not everyone in the IT Department are web developers or work on building websites, not even in the sub-department Dev Team. Our Dev team are 6 members and only 2 (me and the Lead Web Developer) are web developers, so work on the company's websites. The other guys are very script-building and database oriented. All I do is code websites.

Maths in coding

Depends on what you're coding. I work with websites, I use Year 11/Grade 10 level of maths - it's not hard. As a reference, I stopped learning maths as a subject at school at a Year 13/12th Grade level and the stuff I'm using is way easier than what I learnt last - stuff my little sister, who's 14, can understand.

I chose web development because of the little maths. Some people have told me "Oh you'll encounter it one day" - I still haven't after 2 years. I use C# and JavaScript at work and still do very little maths. Maybe loops? I know if you're going to study computer science at university you will have to learn a good amount of maths, definitely harder than what I use!

Here is a list of the maths I use daily, that I can think of:

Arithmetic

Algebra

Logic and Boolean Algebra

Basic Algorithms

That's it. Maybe if I learnt the maths need in programming to the max, it might make my life easier when I am working on my personal projects, but my life is already easy with the little maths I know so I'm good for now.

Designing websites is less maths-y and more... designing in my opinion and experience. "I drew out this design for the website... how do I do I code that?" literally me every time I start a project.

Again, other fields in Computer Science would require more maths knowledge so research that field you want o go into and Google/ChatGPT "What maths is needed in [field name]?"

Hope this helps, my advice may not be the best since coming from a web dev point of view but it's still advice! Good luck 😎🙌🏾💗

#my asks #codeblr #coding #programming #progblr #studyblr #studying #comp sci #tech #coding advice #career advice post

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whatudowhennooneseesyou · 6 months

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Hey. I'm originally from Europe yes, but I live in New Zealand (yay neighbours!) I was an air hostess for a while and that helped with getting discounts, plus I'd save up any money I could and use it for travel instead of other things. I'm 5'2" and about 69 kg and I was feeling huge there 💀💀 but tbh you really have to ignore the stares and comments. I couldn't find any clothes that fit me either tbh, i needed to buy a sports bra and that didn't happen lol. And guys there are definitely an issue, I'd honestly recommend not even trying to date, it's not worth the risks. Regarding Chris, I think it was easier for him as a male, plus he speaks Korean fluently but tbh from what I've seen of him, he seems a lot more aussie than Korean in terms of personality and style. He's a Sydney boy through and through 😂

Hello @escapetheshark and its great to talk to you!!

I am watching The Try Guys where Keith eats everything from The Cheesecake Factory and I probably shouldn't have watched it while I'm on my period because now I feel like cheesecake and cheesecake is low-key one of my favourite desserts.

I'm a sucker for a classic old-school New York Cheesecake but anything chocolate I love too.

Howdy neighbour!! *waves enthusiastically*

Where in EUrope are you from and where in New Zealand do you live now and I'm so curious as to why you decided to move there.

What's it like being 26 hours ahead of everyone else?

For anyone that doesn't know, New Zealand is 2 hours ahead of Australia with timezones so New Zealand is always LEAPS ahead of the Northern Hemisphere with time.

So it's 10:08 pm here right now whereas in New Zealand, it would be about 12:08 am and the 1st of November.

I think that's really scary that you're 70 kgs and couldn't find anything to fit there and yeah-that's enough knowledge for me to feel more nervous about travelling there haha.

Bang Chan is Sydney-coded for sure and I did remember saying that even though he was born in South Korea and Korean is his first language, he's been in Sydney since he was around 5 because I remember he said he learnt English from attending Australian primary and high school.

It's why I laughed when ppl ask if he thinks in korean or english and he said it depends on what country he's in.

Honestly, if you're bilingual, I am jealous of you because being raised bilingual is truly a gift for your brain and how you connect with people.

I have been trying to learn different languages on and off for years since I was a teenager and nothing has stuck lol.

Also- fun fact...if you have Gemini or Virgo placements, you have a easier time in learning new languages because of the Mercury influence.

It was lovely to talk to you babe!

#moot #answered ask #slumber party with ruby #fun times with ruby #bang chan #skz hard hours #stray kids hard hours #bang chan x reader

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littleblueberryartist · 1 year

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Some future Percy Jackson headcanons :D

- He never grows facial hair. Yes this is partially because I don't like drawing facial hair but also I feel like Percy would just take one look at the mirror, realise that he looks like a splitting image of his dad and then shave the whole thing off

- Percy is the malewife trophy husband in this relationship. Yes I HC him with a job (I will get to that later) but it's about the vibes

Like he literally says this in Greek heroes!

He is the trophy husband to Annabeth's successful girlboss wife and he knows it! He does the cooking and cleaning!! (His mother is THE Sally Jackson so you better bet he cooks dam well too)

And I refuse to believe that he and Sally aren't like super tidy people after living with Gabe. Like ADHD disorganization real and true just like me fr but Percy would not let there be trash or bad smells /anywhere/

- Related to the above Percy does not drink

- Percy took a GAP year actually

- Like yes he does actually try and jump back into school like he does in ToA because he is tired of godly bullshit and craves normalcy. But my guy. That is a semester of content you missed along with current school AND you're still prepping for college AND you're still recovering from the war. Something something he does this as a distraction from everything but also because he genuinely wants to have normalcy but after burning out somewhere through the year he is convinced to take a damn break!!!!

- I think the road trip at the end of ToA can still happen but like, just them relaxing and exploring during the GAP year (also redesigning Olympus is Annabeth's BABY man she's putting that over school + she has worse school records than Percy because she's been year round at camp since she was 7 I don't think school convention matters that much to her actually)

- Anyway they take a well deserved break!! (And get therapy hopefully) So by the time they get to college they are in a much better place mentally <3

- With the accomodations from NRU for his learning disabilities Percy actually ends up doing really well and gets better grades than Annabeth! I am a believer of "Percy is smart it's just that he wasn't properly accommodated and also lacked interest in certain subjects" and "Annabeth is naturally gifted and never learnt to study because she coasts through school and wings her tests" (they're both just like me fr)

- Percy ends up picking Marine Biology as a major because he's not actually sure what he wants to study (he's never gotten the chance to think about what he wanted for his future because of the great prophecy) and thinks that "hey even if it's cliche it'll be easier for me"

Cuz like I understand the excitement of finally going to a school that accomodates you and having hope that you'll get an actual chance to succeed. But also school is still hard and Percy probably just wants to get through it too sjsjsjdj. So he doesn't think too hard on it and goes with the perceived most obvious and easiest option. (Also an option he's most likely to show interest in)

Okay! Rubs hands. From here I start talking about my marine rehabilitation center Percy hcs :) (this hc is heavily inspired by this post! I really looked at it a few years ago and never stopped thinking about it lmao)

- Something something Percy is canonically the kid who used to sneak out at night to help free sea creatures in fishing nets and is best friends with Grover "lord of the wild" Underwood and Rachel "activist" Dare. That boy is an environmentalist.

- He ends up finding genuine passion in ocean conservation and gets a degree in environmental conservation along with marine biology

- A while after graduating, he sets up a marine rehabilitation/conservation center of sorts

- Annabeth, who probably makes it big as an architect pretty soon (at least in the half-blood community) designed the building, Rachel helps to fund the whole thing. Grover, who goes around doing conservation work and setting up sanctuaries to help preserve the wild helps a ton with setting up too

- The center helps out both mythical and regular sea creatures. It also acts as a demigod safe house (something something Hazel + the Hecate kids help to set up wards to keep monsters out and also to shroud the mythical aspects of the place with the Mist)

- I dunno if the staff will be only consisting of people in the know or if there are mortals too but I feel like even though the wards at the center aren't as strong as those at the camps, the prospect of a safe working environment would be pretty enticing to demigods so a bunch of them end up interning there for a bit

- speaking of safe environment I feel like while Percabeth study in New Rome they wouldn't live there. Instead Annabeth ends up building something similar to it at CHB. But rather than a whole city, it's more of just apartments close to camp with various safe houses all over the country because I feel like they'd end up vibing in the mortal world more. (Much like this post!)

- The center holds educational field trips to encourage more people to care about the oceans. (I've been on a field trip to a marine rehabilitation center before, I think it'd be something like that but with a bigger, more advanced facility)

- I actually like the hc of Percy becoming an educator to help kids like him and also go full circle with the whole "why would anyone want to be a teacher for all time" thing with Chiron in TLT. But rather than become a teacher he ends up being an educator and advocator for environmental conservation. Might be invited to be a guest speaker at schools from time to time.

- Oh also he's still a teacher in that Percy teaches swordfighting and canoeing at camp send tweet

#pjo #hoo #toa #riordanverse #percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #headcanon #marine rehabilitation center!percy #aqua's ramblings #heeheehoohoo little do you know that this is also the set-up for my demisona meeting Percy

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quodekash · 1 year

Text

A Way Too In-Depth Over-Analysis of Sorvus

I apologise in advance. For all of this. There’s a lot. These guys have inserted themselves into every empty renting space in my brain and uprooted all the taken spaces and moved in to everything. So to appease my brain I had to do this and then it just kept going. Also I’m Australian, so I have different spellings of some words, like “favourite” and you’re just gonna have to deal with that. Also also warning for very long paragraph rambles from me.

You’re literally gonna get the entire story here but with commentary at every paragraph. And sometimes four times in one paragraph. Anyway.

1. “For weeks” means they’ve spent heaps of time together, and using this instance as a guide, probably with no one but them. They’ve progressively learnt more and more about each other, yet later Soren is still super bright and excited to learn that Corvus’ favourite season is autumn, and that’s just so pure.

2. I would like to see this please.

3. “[…]lost most of the time” implies that Corvus won sometimes. teLL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERY SINGLE ONE PLS I NEED TO KNOW WHICH ONES CORVUS WON (and yeah I also just need more Sorvus content but what can I say, they mean everything to me)

4. Corvus could probably just not participate, or tell Soren he’s too tired, or something along those lines. And yet he always tries his best, he still does it despite knowing he’ll probably lose. The fact that he’s not avoiding the challenges tells us that Corvus truly appreciates Soren’s friendship/companionship/company/etc and is fully willing to do tasks that he’s not great at to spend time with Soren and put a smile on his face. And you can’t tell me that’s not love, whether romantic or platonic or whatever. Honestly, if Corvus’ top love language is anything, I’d say it’s quality time. The other four just don’t quite fit, and, from the little we see of Corvus on screen, it seems like he’s most content when spending time with his favourite people. As for Soren, you could argue his love language is literally any of them. But I think his top two are words of affirmation and quality time - he was always so invalidated his whole life, mostly by his own father (I swear I’ll make a post of this at some point). His mother left, his father neglected him, his sister betrayed him. That’s gotta bring trust issues. So after all that, he’d appreciate someone telling him he’s worth it and telling him they love him. He’d appreciate spending time with those he loves, not even doing anything, just sitting and enjoying each other’s company, without his flaws being pointed out, without the stress of trying to keep his family together, just sitting there and loving and breathing and being.

1. This part could be a metaphor?? Corvus wants to go further with relationships at an easy pace where Soren wants to speed it up? Corvus is more of a peaceful person and Soren is scared of losing people and missing out on particular moments of relationships so he tries to experience it all at once?? It’s entirely possible I’m reading too far into this but I’m treating this like a school assignment, where you have to read too far into everything. You decide whether this is a good interpretation or not, I can’t decide.

2.a. If Soren has mentioned it “every time”, that implies a few things. The first is that they go up there enough for Soren to mention it a lot. Soren has a favourite place in the entire castle, and he wants to share it with Corvus (and there’s no one up there but them ;] IM KIDDING- or am I? Honestly I can’t tell, you decide.) 2.b. The second thing is that Corvus has heard Soren talk about this part of the castle a lot. But there’s not even the slightest hint of description of Corvus’ annoyance at having to listen to Soren constantly say this is one of his favourite places, he just lets him tell him, over and over. It’s getting little personal here, but Soren totally has ADHD, which makes my job easier bc I also have ADHD. 2.b.ii. I personally forget all the time if I’ve told this particular person this particular story/fact/whatever it is or not, so I constantly tell the same story over and over. It feels exciting bc each time it feels like I’m telling them for the first time, since I don’t remember the previous times. So when the person/people I’m talking to don’t lost their patience or get annoyed or anything when I tell them something I’ve already told them, and instead they just react like it’s the first time they’ve heard it, it feels really validating. So I’m thinking Soren feels the same, and Corvus not showing a hint of annoyance despite hearing this a lot feels really good to my neurodivergent brain and probably feels good to Soren’s, too.

1. Corvus. Notices things. About. Soren. And not just recently, it’s “a long time ago”, meaning he’s observed Soren and committed his habits to memory for years. I love them.

2. ADHDDDDDDD

3. He ✨cares✨

1. Something about the way this is worded is so beautiful. A sentence of peaceful description in the midst of casual dialogue. It makes it feel like they’re one person, staring at the beautiful view, taking it all in, together with each other but alone from anyone else to distract them from the gorgeous autumn horizon.

1. Like I said earlier (by earlier, I mean the literal first thing I said. There’s still a lot to go. This thing is called a way too in-depth over-analysis for a reason), Soren is so purely excited with the knowledge that Corvus’ favourite season is autumn. Autumn, the season they’re presently in. Meaning, for a few months, Corvus is always experiencing his favourite season, meaning he’s probably always feeling some amount of happiness/content, and the thought that Corvus is happy makes Soren happy.

2. They’re both just standing on a castle, next to each other, and staring out at nature. It probably feels like they’re the only people in the world. If they’re the only people, then to each of them, the most important thing in existence is (probably) the other. It also might be a metaphor to something, but I can’t figure out what it is. It’s possible the metaphor is something I’ve already mentioned. But if anyone thinks of anything, please lemme know, it’s an itch I can’t reach so if anyone can, please scratch it for me. (I made a metaphor about not being able to figure out a metaphor. Metaphor-caption or something, idk man)

3. Such a simple statement. Standing in such a relaxed way. He’s at peace, while alone with one of the most energetic people like ever.

1. That’s a date. Surely I’m not the only one seeing this, right? Soren, you’re describing a date. Idk if you realised, but that’s a date. You’ve just suggested a date. And Corvus will say yes.

2. Soren’s horrified that Corvus would possibly be mistreated. He’s also, more importantly, scared that it wasn’t mistreatment but Corvus’ choice, because if it was a choice then Corvus might not like beds and castles and other people and Soren can’t handle the thought that Corvus might leave him, just like everyone else he’s ever loved and trusted.

3. Help now I’m picturing little forest dates, with picnics and lying next to each other, staring at the canopy of leaves above them, and glancing at each other every time the other looks away and smiling and holding hands and Soren lying with his head on Corvus’ chest and a leaf falling right on Soren’s face and Corvus’ laugher rumbling his belly and making Soren sit up and throw the leaf at him and they laugh and smile and talk and they’re in love help

1. I kinda touched on this earlier, but Soren can’t fathom the idea of being without Corvus. Probably because of losing his entire family so Corvus is just about all Soren’s got left. And he’s really scared that he’ll lose him, too, and losing everyone would make Soren lost; lost and alone and scared and vulnerable and he needs a hug i volunteer as tribute and shut up that’s possible this is my post i make the rules but if i cant hug him then i volunteer Corvus as tribute

2. (Yes we’re talking about sentence structure. This is a way too in-depth over-analysis, get over it already man.) It’s repeated that something is bothering Soren. Repetition means emphasis, that the author wants us to know that it’s an important thing, so they say it a couple times. Something is bothering Soren, and that bothers Corvus. He wants to help Soren and get rid of this thing that’s bothering him (probably).

3. Let me translate what Soren is trying to say here: “What about me? Do you like me?” He’s seeking validating and wanting to get Corvus to stay, because without Corvus he has nothing.

1. Translation again: “I like you. I trust you. And trust is really important now, with everything that’s happened. There was a war. Everyone I’ve ever trusted betrayed me or left me. So please date me join the crown guard with me so I have more opportunities to ask you to date me it’s really big that I trust you so much, because I’ve been having issues with trust.”

2. I have asd!corvus head canons, so eye contact here is really important and rare

1. He’s paying attention to him.

2. I like to imagine he did finger guns

1. Imagine how this went down. “I like corvus a lot” “yeah, he’s great! I want him to stay in katolis but hes more at home in the forest-“ “corvus should be crown guard… I really trust him.” “-yeah, cos you’re in love with him- I trust him too. You should ask him to date you join.” (ez totally ships it and tries to set them up a lot and you cant tell me otherwise)

1. He’s trying to avoid Corvus seeing the truth in his eyes; that he doesn’t want Corvus to go, that he loves Corvus, that without Corvus he doesn’t know who or even what he is, because Corvus is all he has left.

2. I know this is like an emotional flicker or whatever, but what if it’s literally pain and wounds that are hidden behind his protective armour? Soren broke like all his bones. There’s almost no way he doesn’t still get flashes/twinges of pain (I feel like there’s some kind of medical term for that but I’ve forgotten what it is). He definitely doesn’t tell anyone about it, but probably gets flashes of pain every so often, and Corvus has somehow managed to pick up on that. Maybe.

1. People with ADHD are often over-thinkers (at least I think so? I don’t have any sources for it but I’m an over-thinker and so is everyone I know with ADHD. So probably.), so Corvus said it “as plainly as he could” to stop Soren from over-thinking it and spiralling. He gets it out, doesn’t stall, doesn’t mislead, doesn’t confuse. Just says it, and there it is, and Soren is so happy

1. I’ll admit it, I’m still thoroughly confused by this part but it’s fine cos they’re both happy and that makes me happy.

and that’s all the shenanigans i have for you today. if you made it this far, flipping wow, because there is quite literally more analysis here than there is story.

but that’s not all from me.

no, i have eight notes on my phone ready for things to be added to them, and theyll be here… at some point. if you wanna be notified when i post them you can follow me i guess. or go to the tag at the bottom of each of these posts, ‘tdp rambles with bj’ (hopefully it’s worked) and you can follow that or something? idk. sorry, im bad at self-promos. uhh. yeah. anyway this was fun, im so tired but so thrilled to finally have all my thoughts out in once place. stay calm and ship sorvus, everyone.

Have a gay day! -BJ

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lake-archive · 4 days

Text

A Mirror

AO3 Link

Fandom: Ensemble Stars

Series: Ein schlafender Ritter und die Liebe

Characters: Ritsu Sakuma, Eli (OC by @watersofcamelot), Anja-Sophia 'Ann' Wolff (OC) (mentioned), Nyeli (OC by @watersofcamelot)

Summary: Similar… Eli at first doesn’t believe it. No way he and this Sakuma guy are that close. He decides to observe… But the day passes and Eli couldn't help but wonder about one thing…

Previous Chapter - Masterlist - Next Chapter

“Yes, you and Ritsu! At first I thought it was just your looks! But the more I think about it, the more I can see it!”

That had been Ann's words a few days ago and they kept rubbing Eli the wrong way. She talked about how similar they are… And he hated it. It was like being compared and she wanted to see who had been the better one of the two. Now, he was sure that his sis meant nothing by it. She wasn't that type of person. But that didn't change the sour aftertaste in his mouth. She's got something in her eyes and ears! He was convinced of that! He and Ritsu, similar? No… There's no way in hell this was true! As if!

But Eli hated the mere thought. The only thing he could not deny was their appearance. One good luck and he knew this much was true… That dude looked almost like him, the only differences being their heights, obviously, and their eye colors. Other than that, pair them side by side and you'd believe Eli is that Sakuma guy's older brother despite being younger than him. Aren't they similar enough? What does it even mean that they act similar!? Ugh… It was a little frustrating, to say the least…

Still, some odd feeling in his stomach that there might be something to it… Might, a very slim chance. What if Ann was right? It was always lingering somewhere deep inside… After all, according to her she and Ritsu hit it off pretty much right away and outside of Eli these two seem to talk a lot. It was… Weird to think about.

Ann wasn't someone who got along with just anyone, he learnt that fairly quickly. Even when just texting back in the day she always kept quiet in group chats and even now she had barely any friends to hang out with. Work and assignments may as well be the only friends she has, given how much time she spends on each. Or the keyboards she tends to type on. So if some rando got her attention and was close to her, it meant something at least.

However, the reason being a sense of familiarity because of Eli? He didn't buy it, or at the very least he refused to believe it. 'No way' he told himself and tried to ignore it for the past few days. It succeeded, kind of, yet it creeped up every so often. During class, in the hallway, while pulling someone by their pants for fun or at home playing games. It always came back up one way or another and he hated it!

So he saw no other choice but to dig deeper into Ann's claims. And how would he do that? Oh, that was easy. By stalking the upperclassman in question. How else? By talking to him and getting to know him? Pff, that's boring and honestly, Eli didn't have the energy or patience for that. Stalking someone on school grounds is way easier. Besides, the teachers are always relieved whenever he skips class. So it's a win–win. He didn't have to go through boring ass lectures and he couldn't be a pain in the neck during their classes. Surely no one will mind this.

And thus the tall boy had been hanging around the school gates rather early, just so that he could spot his target. And he did not too long after arriving, spotting a yawning Ritsu making his way through the school gates. It made Eli stare from the hiding spot he was at, or as much of hiding as he could manage due to his sheer size alone, and observe the guy.

Nothing out of the ordinary, not even that sleepy face yet he came to a sudden halt when hearing some noises coming from his back as well as a… 'Nye'? What's 'nye'?

Ritsu seemed to be all too familiar with it at the very least when sighing. "Not again…" He mumbled out loud before opening the school bag where the face of a tiny chibi–like cat creature peeked out. It looked close to Eli himself, with the exception of the cat ears and his blue eye color. Even the clothes are close to what Eli himself would wear in his free time: A blue hoodie with some black trousers, a little dirty as well.

Though the presence explained a lot, Eli knew this cat. Much to his own embarrassment and surprise Ann had named the cat 'Nyeli'. As a kid she just thought the name sounded cute since he says 'nye' a lot… What are the chances of her meeting Eli years later after taking the abandoned cat home? It was… Something, to say the least…

And now Nyeli was located in Ritsu's school bag, the two seeming to be close. Then again, Eli remembered that much. From what he heard even Nyeli took a very quick liking to the guy ever since first seeing him and has refused to leave ever since.

"Hey, weren't you supposed to stay with your sisnya today?" Ritsu asked while facing Nyeli. Said cat was looking up at the guy with wide eyes, ears wagging, as if confused.

"I'll have to call her I think… She's going to be worried sick…"

This was met with a sudden pout from the cat as well as constant head shaking. "Nye nye Papa nye!" The kitty even protested while tugging onto the sleeve of the male's jacket with his tiny nubs. "Nye nye nye!"

"I know you want to stay but—" Ritsu was about to reason yet the cat climbed out of the bag, right onto the arm and nuzzled against it while pouting, shaking his head profusely.

"Nye!"

"Oi, listen for one—"

"Nye!" The cat refused, of course he did. Taking no as an answer? Not going to happen. The kitty is stubborn beyond belief and was having none of it. He refused by every sense of the word, not allowing anything of that sort. So as much as that Sakuma guy tried to reason he had to give in, visibly sighing.

"Alright alright. You can stay." He said, his hand having moved to the top of the cat's head the pet it, makimg the kitty nuzzle and purr right away. "But you have to promise to keep on the low, alright?"

The cat nodded eagerly, enjoying the pets some more before sliding back into the bag, then the guy procceded to walk into the buioding. It was… Unusual yet not necessarily something Eli hated to see. It was rare to see Nyeli to grow attached to someone by this much, to the poimt he was called a 'Papa'. Maybe he wasn't so bad…

That was about the only moment though as the rest of the day Eli spent observing Ritsu… Sleeping. Either in class or during break time. One time he also got up when spotting the student council president, just hogging onto him while being like a clingy child, resembling Nyeli in that regard. He even called that guy by a nickname. 'Maa–Kun', was it? And then begging to take care of him or at least carry Ritsu back to class… Talk about handful! It was… Something else. Eli had no words whatsoever, seeing more of the cat than him. And yet Ann insisted that the two were similar, very similar. He didn't see it though, far from it… And when spotting all of that lazy, clingy behavior Eli only had one question in mind while observing Ritsu Sakuma…

"Is that how Sis sees me?"

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crazy-stupid-potato · 9 months

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This is mad long, bare with, or don't lmao

TW's for: References to depression, r*pe, a*use towards women, and a bunch of other women rights related issues. I don't go in depth, but they are very much there. Be careful. Look after your mental health, please. Also a smidgen of spoilers for the Barbie movie at the end.

So, this whole tangent began with the Barbie movie. I've wrote all my thoughts down in a notebook, that's how I know what I'm going to type - vaguely. This will seem insane to have come from the Barbie movie, but I think it will hopefully be coherent. (Not like anyone will read this, lol. I am NOT anywhere near popular enough for this to even get a comment but here we go)

Right. A bit of context to my life. Since I was about 14, I have always felt that I am some sort of trans. For a while I thought I was non-binary, then I thought I was gender-fluid, then (a recent development) I thought I was a guy. So, you can imagine the absolute loop I have been thrown through when I realised that what I might have been feeling is internalised, borderline, misogyny.

Wild right? Let me explain.

Since I was 11, I have repeatedly heard the horrors of being female in this world. The rape/murders that happen on a daily basis. The horrors towards women in the past. The continued disregard for female autonomy. The abuse faced at the hands of people who are supposed to protect us. It's all horrific. Not only this, but I have seen, heard, learnt, about the way society completely destroys women. The lack of acknowledgement for the pain of females', the constant dismissal of mental illnesses, physical illnesses and disabilities (this also happens with males, too, I am aware, especially in the mental health department, but this section of this post is about people with the female anatomy.) The blatant disregard towards women who report abusive partners or stalkers is disgusting. (And that is just in 1st World countries where human rights are supposed to be the best. The horrors that happen in other countries are worse, but I am writing about what I know. I cannot say anything about other countries other than I know that there are some truly atrocious things happening to women in a lot of them because I am not educated on those situations. But believe me, I see it.) I see people AFAB lament the horrors of having the female anatomy. The wish to not have periods, or a uterus at all. The constant pressure put on women to look a certain way all the time. To not be too thin or too fat, not have too much hair but have enough that it doesn't look like you're trying too hard, etc. Honestly, the Gloria speech in Barbie is the best one I have ever heard about what it's like to be a woman. I see people expressing disgust at pregnancies, how they never wish to have one because it'll make them look ugly, or because of the complications that come with it. I have seen it, and do see it, all. For the past 7 years I have seen it all.

Can you imagine how much that has f-ed me up? I'm sure you can, because I'm sure it's also true for a lot of you.

All of this has made me hate the idea of being a woman.

When I was in my early years of high school (I'm in the UK and we start high school at 11 and finish at 16) I always said how I would "love to be a boy" because I always saw it as easier. I hated being a girl because everything was so shit. And that carried on into my later years of high school.

As I was introduced to the wonderful different gender identities that exist, I began reading and hearing stories of how trans/non-binary/gender-fluid, etc, people felt before they realised they were what they are. And I thought, "oh, damn. That me." So I began experimenting with labels. But even whilst I did that, whilst I played around with pronouns, names, hairstyles, clothing, I always felt this deep want to wear pretty dresses and have long hair. But I rejected those wants because I was "trans/non-binary/gender-fluid now and if I want those things then I can't be any of those." Which, yes, I know, is very binary of me. I understand that anyone can wear pretty dresses and skirts and have ling, flowy hair that they place sparkly pins in. I know. But you have to understand how damn difficult it is to ignore the stuff you have been taught all your life. I wanted to be called she/her but at the same time rejected those feelings because the thought of being a woman made me sick.

But then I watched the Barbie movie.

Now, I don't remember my childhood much. I don't know if it was what you would call "traditional girlhood." But I know it was good. And I know many AFAB have experienced horrendous childhoods, which hurts me to think about every time. But when I saw the ending of the Barbie movie. When the videos of those girls and women were playing. I felt something in me. I'm sure you've all heard different renditions of how the montage made women feel, and a lot of them is how I would describe how I felt. So, I won't get into it. But just know I felt a shift in me.

As well as that montage, other things in the movie got to me. The inherent femininity of it, for one. I know from discussions with other people, and from seeing many videos/blogs online, that what I'm going to mention is a common experience for a lot of AFAB. I hated the colour pink. Despised it. I only very very recently, before the Barbie movie, began admitting that the colour wasn't so bad. But the Barbie movie made me think that, omg, I might actually love the colour. Alongside the colour pink, I loved the outfits of the Barbies'. They were so freeing to see. As I wrote previously, I wanted to wear pretty skirts and dresses and have pretty hairstyles, but always refused to acknowledge that. Seeing the Barbies' in their overtly feminine clothing (again, I know I'm leaning into gender binary but please give me some slack. It's hard to write when you're not a novelist) made me feel giddy. I saw them and was like "pretty pretty pretty" and not just because all the women were beautiful lmao. It lit up a spark of joy in me seeing them dress in those clothes. That's how I can best describe my feelings. I just suddenly felt that I could wear those things. Weird, huh?

Another thing in the movie is the portrayal of happy older women.

This again links with the video montage, but also links with the old lady at the beginning of the movie saying she knows she's beautiful, with Ruth Handler being so gentle with Stereotypical Barbie and not ridiculing her for being stupid or naive. It also links with Gloria. I freaking loved Gloria. All of these portrayals made me so happy because it gave me a sudden sense of hope that I will be okay one day.

As someone with severe depression and probably autism/ADHD, who doesn't remember not being depressed, that really spoke to me. These women were happy. They were okay with themselves. No, the LOVED themselves. It was beautiful.

This movie healed me, just a bit, and let me make the first real steps to healing fully. I'm still not 100% sure about my gender identity, but tbh I don't quite care. I'm starting to wear makeup often, starting to take care of my body better. I also bought a cute little Stitch dress lmao, and a white, frilly tank-top with purple flowers on it. I'm embracing my feminine side and I've never felt more free.

It's a wonderful feeling. I'm surprised myself that this all came from a Barbie movie. But, at the same time, I think I was beginning to realise this about myself before the movie. Having finished college and not needing to worry about Uni as I'm not going has given me the freedom to actually look at myself, internally, and ask "what do I feel?" Again, linking back to the Barbie movie when Ruth says, "Take my hands...Now, feel." And I have done. I've asked what my brain needs, and it's full of pretty dresses and pretty hairstyles and warmth and a want to live again.

I'm aware that this may seem silly to a lot of people. Maybe even childish. But I don't care. And that's a lot for an 18 year old to say, because many people my age, and older, do care. A lot.

This has just been an introspection, but I chose to share it because maybe it will help other people.

(Also, heavy disclaimer if you got this far. I don't know what terms are still used now, or how they're used. And writing about girl/womanhood and femininity whilst also trying to be inclusive to those who have the female anatomy but don't identify as a woman, and those who don't have the female anatomy but identify as women is very difficult. So, I deeply apologise if I used the term AFAB wrong, or if it is no longer an accepted term. Also, if anything else in this post is wrong/offensive or incorrect, again I'm sorry. Please let me know what is wrong and how to fix it and I will do my best to edit this post with the updated terminology/fixes.)

#this was a doozy #drink some water #stretch #this took me an hour to write #barbie #the barbie movie #barbie 2023 #barbie the movie #barbie movie #barbie spoilers #self introspection #introspection #women #beautiful women #love life again #womens rights #speak up

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