#look his whole fucking family either died or abandoned him he needs a fucking hug

[moriaarts]

Some hurt/comfort for dear sweet Fingon u3u

#silmarillion #tolkein #russingon #fingon #maedhros #silm #middle earth #lord of the rings #look his whole fucking family either died or abandoned him he needs a fucking hug #also i wanted to fiddle with lighting #silmart

[lubdubsworld]

The Devil’s Own.

Jungkook x OC

Mafia Au!

Warnings : Non-Con ! Manipulation, Degradation, Shitty hero with no redeeming Qualities you have been warned. ( i mean he does get better but not much.) 

Summary : Just Mob Boss Jungkook doing mob boss things. 

Chapter 1

“ Sign it. ”

I glared at him, feeling sick at the tone. The entitlement.

“No.” I said sharply and I could feel his anger swelling, morphing into something dangerous and deadly but I couldn’t care anymore. I was tired. Exhausted. This cat and mouse game had gone on , long enough. It wasn’t an even playing field, in any sense of the qword.

If today was the day I died, so be it. I would accept it. I would even welcome it.

I was done.

He had everything : an empire at his beck and call , enough money to pave the streets of Seoul in gold and an army of loyal associates behind him. His face was plastered on Billboards across the country , the President posted pictures of him on his fucking SNS and delegates from other countries had to wait weeks , just to get an appointment with the youngest billionaire South Korea had ever seen.

And yet none of those white collared dignitaries saw this side of him. The dirty, violent ruthless man who had more blood on his hands than anyone else in the country. My father’s. My brothers’.

Jeon Jungkook was both the most revered business man in the country and the undisputed king of Seoul’s criminal underbelly.

“You defiance only makes me want to break you in other ways Elena.” He said warningly and I felt my throat go dry. I stared at him, wondering how someone could look so expensively gorgeous and yet, like a hardened criminal.

The expensive silk shirt, the fitted slacks and the handmade shoes ought to clash with the dark ink that covered his entire arm and neck, the piercing on his eyebrow and the glint of metal on his tongue but it didn’t.

It just all came together to make him the most attractive man in existence.

I took a deep breath. Perhaps begging was the way to go?

“ You have my father’s company. You have my brother’s Hospital and you have the family mansion. It’s all yours. This bakery belongs to my mother. It’s all I have left of her. My sister in law is pregnant , due any day. She needs a place to stay and I don’t… I don’t have money to rent anywhere else.” I said desperately, thinking of the paltry wage I earned waiting tables. I could barely afford food for myself let alone for Jisoo and the baby on the way.

The bakery was abandoned but it had a roof. The furniture was crumbling but I could fix that. If I didn’t have to worry about rent, I could save up enough to make it livable. At least till I got a better job.

“I’ve offered you solutions for all of that.” He reminded me softly, eyes trained unblinkingly on me and I stared at him.

“I’m not going to be your whore.” I felt my voice shake.

He grimaced.

“You aren’t qualified to be my whore. And I don’t need one either. Whores are not my thing. I have a beautiful fiancée, don’t you remember? ” He grinned. I felt my heart ache because that fiancée was once my best friend. The only person I had trusted with my entire life. Lisa had betrayed my trust, had spied on my father’s operations and brought him down and I had the horrible, horrible inkling that she had also had something to do with my father and brother’s untimely death in a car crash.

But I couldn’t think about that. Every time I thought about her my heart broke and head spun, and I had to be at my maximum mental capacity if I was going to deal with her heartless fiancée.

“ If you ask me, you’re not fit for anything more than a back alley blowjob for a couple bucks. But Hoseok thinks you have potential. Join his agency, there are a lot of very wealthy men who have a bone to pick with your father. He made a shit ton of enemies. Most of them would love to fuck the defiance out of you. ”

His words felt like worms crawling all over my skin and I could feel the nausea churn inside me.

“I’m not signing the bakery over. You can call the creditors. I still have another year and half to pay the one remaining loan and they won’t come for me till then.” I felt my head begin to throb and Jungkook sighed.

“Suit yourself.” He stood up and I stayed still, watching his tall frame tower over me with ease. He gave me a small bitter smile. It was fraught with hatred and I stared back at him, knowing the emotion was probably mirrored in my gaze.

“Beautiful Elena. As pretty as the day you left me at the altar.” He smirked and I flushed.

“Your vengeance is petty and pointless and unfair…just like you.” I said angrily, frustration building u at his words. The way he talked about our broken engagement like it even mattered. It hadn’t even been real. We had hardly spoken and my father had called the wedding off at the last moment. But apparently, that had been the last straw for the Jeons. They had come after my father’s entire existence with a single minded intent to destroy him and they had succeeded. The man was dead . His two sons were dead.

But apparently it wasn’t enough.

Jungkook stared at me, slipping his hands into his pockets.

“Maybe. But it’s also deadly and potent. And it won’t rest until I see you reduced to nothing but a whore on the streets, spreading your legs for every man who can afford you.” He laughed. “ Saying no is a luxury , one that you’ll soon be unable to afford.”

I refused to be cowed, refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing that his words scared me. Because they did.

They scared me so damn much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This bed is so lumpy… I’m so sorry, unnie..” I said apologetically but Jisoo shook her head quickly, palms cupping my face as I held her elbows, gently lowering her to the bed. I stared at her feet, feeling my heart race at how swollen they looked. That can’t be normal, a voice whispered and

I didn’t know if that was normal and I had no money to take her to a clinic. The social center we usually went to only allowed three visits per month and we had used it all up. I wanted to throw caution to the wind and spend the thirty thousand won it would take but that would mean no groceries for a week and surely bread and eggs wouldn’t stretch that long, even if I could sneak meals in the restaurant for myself.

“I’ve been feeling a little dizzy…I’ll just sleep.” She said tiredly. She was thirty six weeks along, not due for another four weeks but her blood pressure was erratic. Her lab numbers were oscillating and there had been talks of an emergency c section. Even with insurance it was way more than I could afford but I had my own jewelry, a few expensive trinkets from my teenage years. I’d been obsessed with diamonds and my father had indulged me and I had a pair of earrings left. I’d already sold the rest but this would take care of the medical bills for the birth itself.

“My shift starts in ten minutes. I have to go. Give me a call if you need anything…” I said softly and I saw the familiar blank and listless look come into her eyes. I knew she was depressed, dealing with grief and pregnancy and loss but there was nothing I could do for her. Nothing. I had applied for a bunch of other jobs but they never wrote back. It wasn’t easy, being rejected over and over again but it wasn’t like there was much else I could do. And the truth was I was resigned to this, accepted that at some point I would have to take more loans and be stuck in an endless cycle of debt for the rest of my life.

And I had made peace with that.

There was no future for me. And I was okay with just surviving.

If only Jungkook would let me.

Apparently, watching me wipe down greasy tables and mop up floors and toilets trying to earn just enough to get a few square meals didn’t soothe his anger. It only fueled it. Jungkook couldn’t fathom that it had been six whole months of me on the streets of Seoul and I wasn’t completely destitute yet. I’d kept myself and my sister in law alive, safe and it pissed him off.

He wanted to see me broken and on my knees, begging him for help. The idea of me somehow surviving despite him taking everything away from me, it just didn’t sit well with him.

I couldn’t afford to have him as an enemy so all I could really hope was that one day he would wake up and give up. One day he would just wake up and decide that I wasn’t worth it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I walked into my shift and noticed a familiar pair of high heeled Louboutins , completely out of place in my seedy place of employment, I knew I was in trouble. Lisa sat against one of the booths and her gaze was fixated on the door which meant she was waiting for someone. And when her eyes narrowed at the sight of me, I just knew I was the someone.

She wants to get me fired.

It wasn’t rocket science and I felt the urge to turn right back around and leave.  But I tamped down on it. I could get through this. I would get through this. Lisa and Jungkook got off on invoking reactions and I wouldn’t give them that.

Except it wasn’t that easy.

It was a nightmare, watching her demand and reject and walk all over me but the sleeplessness from the past few days made spacing out easier and I just stared away at the wall as she yelled and complained and made a scene.

“You’ve stopped fighting? Finally giving up? Good…” She hissed when the manager apologized to her and told me to meet him after my shift and I felt myself tremble in indignation.

“I won’t fight you or Jungkook, you and I both know I can’t afford to.” I said quietly and she went still, something flashing in her eyes for a second. It was gone before I could fully process it but it had been there. Guilt.

Lisa wasn’t a terrible human. She had been a dear friend. We had grown up together and she had even hugged and teased me when I’d been betrothed to Jungkook, all those years ago. I had been twenty back then, naïve and spoiled. While Jungkook had taken my father’s entire legacy apart, piece by piece, Lisa had been nothing more than a pawn. I remembered all the times I had let her home, how she would disappear for lengths of time.

Planting bugs all over the house. All over his office. Jungkook had been smart. Someone like Lisa, so fascinated by thr wealth she had grown up around would naturally jump at the idea of more. It wasn’t greed. It was human nature. And with her help he had destroyed everything my father had built over decades.

I shuddered. My father hadn’t been a good man. He had been greedy, yes. But he hadn’t deserved to die. And Jungkook would have to pay for that sin, someday.

“There’s a job waiting for you in Hoseok’s club.” She smiled cruelly , “ you don’t need this one.”

“The fact that you want to take it away from me, tells me that maybe there’s nothing left in you save.” I said blankly and she turned her nose up at me.

“I have Jungkook. I don’t need to be saved.”

I shook my head. She was so naïve. Men like Jungkook cared for nothing but themselves. But I wondered if women like her didn’t care for anything but the money that came with being his. Money was precious, I thought bitterly. I’d never realized how privileged I had been until I’d had it all ripped away.

“He’s the one you need saving from. And one day you’ll realize that.” I shrugged, not in the mood to offer her anymore life advice.  If she was alright with being a trophy wife in exchange for a few pretty shoes that was her prerogative.

Before she could reply,  my phone rang.

“Hello?” I asked nervously and I felt my heart drop to my knees when I heard who it was.

I turned on my heel rushing inside and my manager gave me a look of surprise.

“ My sister..she’s… she’s sick. I need to go.” I said desperately and his eyes narrowed. It was the worst timing. He was already annoyed because of Lisa and I stared in disbelief as he quickly shook his head.

“No. I’m sorry Elena…I just can’t let you leave like that…” He said sharply.

It was so unfair.

“I haven’t taken a single day off in five months…” I said desperately..” Please, she’s pregnant..She needs me, she-“

“If you leave, you won’t have a job to come back to. I can’t do this.. First you make trouble with a customer and now you just want to walk out in the middle of your shift without any notice…”

“Fine. Fire me.” I snapped, because I’d just had enough of it. I was exhausted, and tomorrow I’d go knocking on some other tore and I’d get a job. I lived in Seoul …How hard could it be? For now, I had to get to Jisoo. I had to get the hospital and things would be okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t okay.

“I… You want to keep her in? So soon?”

“Her blood pressure is through the roof. There are signs of severe pre eclampsia and we want to get her started on a magnesium drip. Steroids to help the baby’s lungs incase we need to deliver…”

“Deliver..?” I couldn’t breathe.

“Yes, I’m sorry…. If her blood pressure doesn’t come down we’re going to have to deliver.”

I nodded, glancing at the bed where Jisoo was sleeping, her face swollen and I knew that she was sick. Really sick. She looked pallid and ill.

“Is she going to be okay?” I asked hoarsely.

“We’re going to do what we can… But I’m going to be honest, we’re looking at a c section, a lot of meds and also some time in the NICU for the baby…. Can you afford it? Your sister’s insurance only covers 80% .”

I blinked, completely thrown. White noise rushed through my ears,  a dull throb settling right at the base of my skull and beginning to spread all the way to my arms and back. It was panic mixed wth anxiety mixed with despair and I couldn’t quite cope. The earrings wouldn’t cover all that.

“Oh… Oh..yeah.” I said dully, “ Of course I can… Let me just…. Can I have a moment? There’s somethings I need to do.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I carefully slipped the cash into the envelope, swallowing as I sat on the pavement. I’d got another call from the hospital, they had administered the steroids but Jisoo’s condition seemed to be worsening. They wanted to try inducing labour soon but they wanted me to pay for the room and for the medicines, and apparently, the earrings weren’t as valuable as I thought they were.

I fought nausea wrapping arms around myself as I stared at the cars whizzing by, the putrid city air clogging my lungs as I tried to come to terms with what was happening. Jisoo needed help. She was the only one left and she carried my brother’s son. I felt my throat clog when I thought of Daehwan. He had been a good guy. I had loved him. It wasn’t fair, what Jungkook had done to my family, I thought miserably .

And the only reason I wasn’t driven by vengeance or anger was because I was nothing like Jungkook. I hated him. I didn’t want him to live in my head, didn’t want to waste any part of myself on him , not even my anger. But it was hard when he wouldn’t let me breathe, always at my heels like a wolf : jaws snapping and blood thirsty eyes trained on me at all times. I couldn’t fathom his obsession sometimes. Surely, his hatred was uncalled for now? He’d taken everything from me anyway.  

There was a dull roaring in my ears, one that said that this was not really a surprise. I’d thought about it way too often, had considered it countless times. Had even spent one absolutely horrifying evening scouring the streets of Seoul’s red light district just to see how sex workers behaved.

I’d also realized that in the face of desperation, dignity didn’t hold much value.

You are going to pay your debts on your back and on your knees.

The first time Jungkook had thrown it at my face, eyes glinting with glee, my stomach had rebelled so hard. I’d been absolutely infuriated, had thrown a vase at him. And it had been awful,  watching him catch it out of the air with ease, his mocking laughter making my bones rattle as he shook his head, “ That’s how this ends, Elena. Mark my words.”

And it was pitiful ,  that he went through life so consumed with hatred and vindictive cruelty that he couldn’t leave me alone . He was pathetic. That’s how I saw him. A pathetic child who refused to stop tormenting the helpless ant on the floor although it was no match for his cruelty.

At some point Jungkook was going to win. And his idea of winning was seeing me stripped bare of the one thing that kept me alive : my freedom.

It had just happened sooner than I’d thought.

Because I knew what it would mean, to go to Hoseok. He would own me. Hoseok’s whores were all slaves, tangled in his web so badly that there was no hope of escape. He wasn’t cruel but he was smart. No one left the his ‘ agency’ once they went in. I would be lost, forever. And I couldn’t stomach it.

I stared at my knees, fists clenched on the fabric of my skirt. I grabbed my phone, scrolling through the contacts. I considered it carefully. I had to do this on my terms. Had to make sure I retained some sort of control here.

And I knew just how to do it.

Hoseok picked up on the third ring.

“Hello.”

“I need help.” I croaked out.

The deep chuckle made my skin crawl.

“Elena Gong. What a wonderful, wonderful surprise. What can I do you for?” He drawled.

“Well sweetheart, I’m all out of charity so you’re going to have to make it worth my while.”

I took a deep breath.

“I’m a virgin.” I whispered.

The line went completely silent.

“What?” The amusement in his voice died.

“You heard me and I’ll let you cash in on it. I’ll let you auction it off…” I tamped down on the burning protest in my lung, the screaming inside my head that said it was horrifying, that I was considering this. “ But only if you keep my terms.”

“What makes you think you have a say in that.” He said sharply and I laughed.

“I belong to your world, Hoseok. Did you forget that we were friends, once.” I whispered and he didn’t reply.

Laughter, kindness, a big brother I could always count on, hobi oppa, nine year old me with my fingers curled around his wrist as we ran all around the gardens , a smile so wide that he could spread sunshine on the gloomiest days. Different from Jungkook and Namjoon and Yoongi and the others. Willing to include a ‘ girl’ in his playtime. Lisa and I the only girls, not even fazed watching as the rest of them wielded toy guns and mock interrogation scenes, pretending to kill and maim and torture because that was the world we were born into.

“We’re not friends, Elena. Let’s get that straight. The only part of you that holds any value to me is th part between your legs. So tell me, what do you want.”

“When was the last time you auctioned off someone’s virginity? You know how much money you can make off something like that. Not just from the sale itself but from the entire night. Your club… Your gaming hell…. All of it.”

“You expect me to believe you’re a virgin. At twenty seven.” He scoffed.

“Put the word out, everywhere. If you find one man who says he’s slept with me , I’ll back off.”

“That would require me to tarnish your  family name. And you’re alright with that?”

I smiled biotterly.

“Isn’t that what you and your precious Jungkookie want? To see the last living Gong, be labeled as a whore and a slut.”

He didn’t reply.

“I’ll give you that. You can do it… You know that will only interest more people. As Jungkook so eloquently put it, most of them would love to fuck the defiance out of me.”

“What’s the catch. What do you want. ”

“2 billion won.”  I said firmly “It will be one night. One night only and I want enough money to pay off every one of my father’s debts, to get me an apartment for my sister in law and to support her and her baby for a year at least.”

“Done.” He said without missing a beat and I went still. What must it be like, to throw around money like that without a care in the world. And it sickened me that Jungkook was probably ten times as rich as Hoseok , the money my father owed him and his associates not even pocket change in comparison to his gargantuan wealth and yet, he stayed on my heels, snapping his jaws like a dog with a bone.

“And Jungkook doesn’t get to watch.” I said softly, knowing exactly what Jungkook would get off on.

That made Hoseok laugh.

“You know him too well. I keep forgetting he was madly in love with you once.”

I resisted the urge to vomit. Jungkook didn’t know love. He knew ownership. He didn’t love me, he thought he owned me. That I was his to play with…. For the rest of his life. And when my father had denied him that, just like a toddler in a toy store being denied a shiny toy to break and trample on, he had thrown a temper tantrum.

Except his tantrums always ended in death and destruction.

“That’s the deal. He doesn’t turn up there to gloat.”

“He’s heading out to Switzerland for a week , two days from now.” Hoseok said evenly.

“Good then. My sister in law…she “ I swallowed. “ She’s in a hospital in Yongsan. I’ll send you the address.”  

“I’ll take care of it. But I want you here tonight. I’m not going to drop a couple billion won on your head without making sure I’m getting my money’s worth. And I can’t have you changing your mind and bolting either. My reputation is on the line here. If I put out the word that I’m serving something so fucking delicious and then back out, they’re not going to want to buy Hobi’s wares anymore. You understand what I’m saying darling?” Hoseok drawled and I knew exactly what he was saying. If I agreed to this, it was blanket consent for him to whatever he wanted.

“I won’t back out. I can’t. But this is one night. One night with whichever bastard you choose and that’s it. I want out.  I don’t want you or Jungkook hounding me again. Ever.” My voice shook as I dug my fingers into my knees.  

“My men will be there in ten minutes. Sit tight, princess.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stared at Hoseok as he carefully poured me a finger of whiskey, neat. He gave me a smirk and I shrugged.

“you remember.” I said casually, throat itching because it had been way too long since I’d had quality alcohol. I missed the burn,  the warmth , the numbness that followed.

“Of course I do. You could drink all of us under the table with little effort. It was spectacular.” He laughed and I leaned back against the couch, letting my head fall back.

“I was half certain that you would have a doctor around to make sure I’m a virgin.” I stared at him and he shrugged. “ Pointless. You’re twenty seven, you’ve probably had stuff up there anyway… Not like your hymen’s still going to be intact.”

I thought it was rather horrifying, that I didn’t feel nearly as mortified as I should. This was how Hoseok talked, matter of fact and open and that was why he was so popular. Anytime an important person came into the country, Hobi was the one who offered entertainment for the night. Hobi’s girls were always the prettiest, most well behaved and perfect. They were educated, knew what they were talking about and he didn’t force them into the life. They loved it, enjoyed it and it showed.

Not to say he was a saint.

Far from it.

Hoseok knew how to dine with kings in castles  but also how to wrestle with  swine in the gutter. The seedy brothels in Seoul’s back alleys were his as well, and he ruled his kingdom with an iron hand. The prostitutes there feared him, one look or word enough to silence any rebellion, any thought of escape.

He was called Hope. And yet somehow that was exactly what he denied the women under him. There was no hope here. There was only lust and power and money. You came to Hobi…. You never left .

I took the glass he offered, taking a small sip, savoring the taste.

“But you believe me. I wonder why.” I watched him closely and he scoffed.

“Between your father and Jungkook, no one ever really had the pluck to come anywhere near you  did they?”

Undisputable.

I sighed, leaning back to stare at him.

“Do you think dying hurts?” I asked softly.

It was frightening, how his entire body went stiff, eyes wide and jaw dropping.

“Elena, what the fuck-“

“Its just a question. You’ve killed people. You’ve watched them die… how do you think they feel?” I asked , curious.

“None of them wanted to die. If that’s what you’re asking.” The look in his eyes made me nervous.

I stared at him and the question was obvious. None of them wanted to die, but do you?

I didn’t.

“I’m not thinking of killing myself , oppa.  Stop looking so horrified.” I laughed. He shook his head.

“ Don’t joke about that. It’s not fucking funny.”

I sobered up, remembering with a jolt. Ah, of course.

“I’m sorry. I forgot.” I said quietly.

Hoseok’s little sister had killed herself when I was seventeen. She was a year older than me and her father had lost her in a wager to a seventy year old man, known for torturing his bedmates. She had heard the news, taken a deep breath and taken a deep dive off the seventeeth floor of the condo where she lived with her mother.

I’d been engaged to Jungkook by then. And I had almost wanted it. Jungkook wasn’t old at least… twenty one to my seventeen.

“Just so you know, he’s going to find out. And he’s not going to like it.”

I shrugged. Three years is a long time to be preyed upon and now my mind was resigned to a life of being hunted. Hoseok was right. Jungkook would find out and he wouldn’t like it.

Good.

“I don’t care what he does anymore. All I care is that Jisoo and the baby are left out of whatever plans he has…. If you promise me you’ll keep them safe , I’ll cooperate.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a baby boy.

I stared, fingers itching to hold the baby but it was impossible, the little one whisked away to the NICU right after with respiratory distress and Jisoo had gone into a seizure, eyes rolling back into her eyes.

She as alright now, resting in a VIP room with the best care money could buy. Hoseok had asked me if I was happy with the arrangements, and if I would name the boy after him.

I stared at the room, large and breezy and filled with flowers and gifts, toys and baby stuff and I knew right then that I had sealed my fate. I was going to have to go through with this. I could imagine how much Jisoo would protest when she came to her senses. The only relief was that it would take her a few days to be good enough to fight or protest. But then this would all be over and done with.

Jungkook would leave this afternoon. His flight was at three.

I would reach the club at five. The patrons would arrive at seven.

One night, I reminded myself , staring at the gentle rise and fall of Jisoo’s chest as she slept, my fingers playing with the soft skin on her wrist. The IV line went through her veins and I watched the gentle drip of it.

One night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn’t know how auctions happened and while I’d been prepared for the worst kind of humiliation,  Hoseok assured me that he wasn’t going to make me stand naked on some podium or something.

“Generally, I would do something like that simply for the flair of it but consider this a favor ….a respite because you were, as you said, once a friend.” He gave me an even smile and I could only nod in mute relief.

I was grateful. Beyond grateful.

And what was more, he hadn’t told anyone, who I was.

That stunned me. Because wasn’t that the selling point? The murderous, greedy mob rat Gong Hyo Suk’s only daughter forced to spread her legs for one lucky stranger? If Hoseok had cashed in on that he would have made a fortune. But he hadn’t. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Would , whoever it was be upset if he recognized me?

I was led to a bedroom, large and tastefully decorated with silky satin sheets and dark curtains and dim lighting that lit up parts of the room and left other parts plunged in darkness. Hoseok had told me to wear whatever I wanted and I realized with a pang that he really didn’t see this as some sort of transaction. He was trying to make it as easy as possible without making any decisions for me. Offering me choices and options and some illusion of being in control.

I didn’t have anything fancy so it was just a dress shirt that I borrowed from Hoseok. I’d left the underwear off, eager to merely get the whole thing over with. I felt a sudden overwhelming urge to laugh out loud.

If Jungkook were here he really would have lost his damn mind, simply because of how little this whole thing affected me. And that was it, really. He was always desperate for a reaction.

Earlier when this whole thing had started, I’d obliged him with that. I would scream, rant and yell….launch myself at him like a wildcat, scratching at him , fists flying  and it was obscene, how much he seemed to enjoy that. He would press me up against walls and tables , fingers choking the breath out of my lung, just so he could see me struggle and push back.

He fed off from every negative reaction I offered him and it had taken me a long long time that the way to beat him was to become passive, unresponsive. I would go limp in his arms, stare at him blankly as he tried to manhandle me and that…that had pissed him off. Because that meant I wasn’t playing his game anymore.

If the prey wasn’t playing, the game wasn’t fun anymore. It was drab.

Boring.

And I knew that Jungkook kept raising the stakes, kept tightening the noose around my neck….just to bring that girl out again. The one that had wanted to put up a fight . The one that wanted to mouth off even with the muzzle of a gun pressed against her head. The one who would spit in his face in front of all his associates, even if it earned her a vicious strike of his hand across her face.

I shuddered. They weren’t memories I liked reliving.

Well, if that was who he wanted, I’d make sure he would never see her again.

The door opening made me jump and Hoseok came in , with a wide grin on his face.

“Baby…. Your guest for the night.” He said softly and I peered over his shoulders, my heart and mind grinding to a halt when I caught sight of what had to be the most breathtakingly beautiful man on the face of the planet.

I felt my heart begin to pound, fear taking over because this wasn’t okay. Not really. I was okay with old, creepy and disgusting , not able to get it up for more than ten minutes.

I wasn’t okay with someone who looked like they stepped right out of the latest issue of GQ.

Hoseok left quickly, closing the door behind him and the man stepped into the light, the brightness lighting up his perfect features even more. I felt my throat go dry, and fought the urge to get up and run. Growing up as the daughter of a mobster , I’d learned how to trust my instincts over appearances.

And right now, every single one of those instincts screamed at me that this man was absolutely dangerous.

“Well, you are beautiful. I’ll give you that. “ He said casually.

“Thank you.” I said stiltedly, watching as he tugged on his tie, pulling it off his neck deftly . Instead of tossing it aside , he wrapped it a bunch of times around his wrist over and over as he smiled at me.

“Don’t thank me yet. The only reason I like beautiful things is because of how easily they break.” He smiled.  “ I haven’t been with a virgin in a while…. I miss the screams.”

And there it was the full blown panic that came with stark terror. I crawled back on the bed, staring as he moved closer and there was no mistaking the look on his face, the harsh grip of his hand on my ankle telling me that I was going to regret every one of the choices that led me here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hoseok wasn’t at the airport.” Jungkook observed casually, glancing at Yoongi as the latter finished cleaning his gun carefully, eyes fixed on his weapon with utmost concentration.

“He’s holding some sort of auction tonight. Some chick …” Yoongi said casually and Jungkook hummed. It was not the kind of thing he was interested in. Anonymous bids were often boring : actresses or female idols past their prime, desperate to make some money to survive. He had no interest in those but he was a little peeved that Hoseok hadn’t told him anything about it.

Hoseok was one of Jungkook’s most trusted friends. He was almost as powerfully rich as Jungkook and the only reason Jungkook reigned supreme was because Hoseok had no interest in challenging him for the throne. Hoseok was dangerous and cunning and loyal and Jungkook was grateful to have him on his side and he had hoped to see him before leaving. Just to ask him to keep an eye on Elena.

He grimaced, hating himself.

God, he couldn’t go two hours without thinking of her. It fucked with his head, the amount of space she took up inside him. Jungkook , for all his wealth and power, was driven solely by his need to prove himself. He wanted to be powerful and terrifying yes, but more than that , he wanted people to know.

He wanted people to look him in the eye and acknowledge him for what he was : the most dangerous man in the country. He liked seeing that fear, that worship, that admiration. He got off on it. He wanted it , craved it and for some reason he craved it more from her , than anyone else.

And instead of giving him what he wanted, instead of begging on her knees for mercy, instead of licking his shoes and begging for him to let her live….she ignored him. She looked at him with defiance and pride, her chin straight and her back unbending, her gaze locked right on him like she was his fucking equal….

And Jungkook, he’d taken a lot of insults. Taken more than his fair share of hits in life …..

But when she looked at him like that , like he was something stuck to the bottom of her shoe….

Fuck it drove him wild with fury.

It made him want to teach her a fucking lesson, to remind her that he owned her because he owned everything. To break her down, snuff out the flames of defiance that burned so bright in those ember eyes… Take her into his bed and brand her with his body. Till she was on the floor, on her knees covered in his spit and cum begging for mercy….

Because no one looked at Jeon Jungkook like that and lived to tell the tale..

“Seokjin’s here. Landed in Korea a couple of hours ago. ” Yoongi said casually and Jungkook smiled a bit at that. He loved his older brother, technically a step brother and growing up he had only saw him when he visited his mother in China. That meant a couple of months a year and now as adults,  a bit more often because Seokjin loved Jungkook and liked to visit him often.

Seokjin was a celebrity trainer, working with actors and athletes and he did a good amount of modeling as well. He was rich,  handsome and well liked and the only thing that gave away the Jeon blood in him was the fact that he was a sexual sadist.

The face of an angel with a devilish streak, he had a penchant for sadism and inflicting pain on his partners and while Jungkook didn’t particularly enjoy indulging him, he knew there were women who were into that and usually had them arranged for when Seokjin dropped by in Korea. His hyung’s visit seldom lasted more than a few weeks at a time and it was a pity that he would miss out one whole week of it .

But the issue in Switzerland was a little pressing and Jungkook had to be there in person to sort it out.

He leaned back against the seat, staring out of the window, sighing.

“An unsullied dove ….What the fuck is this shit..” Yoongi muttered and Jungkook turned, curious.

“What?”

“Hoseok’s been hyping up some new girl for the auction and Seokjin hyung’s bidding on her.”

Jungkook laughed at that.

“Jungkook…..” Yoongi’s voice is completely stunned, his eyes confused as he looks up at Jungkook.”  Its Elena.”

Jungkook’s thought process came to a grinding halt.

There’s a sound between his ears, a dull rushing sound like the wind in a storm and he can’t quite comprehend what he just heard. Even Namjoon who had been buried in his laptop , looked up then, tugging an airpod out of his ear.

“Wait…did you say Elena?” His eyes were wide , lips parted in shock. Yoongi and Namjoon exchanged glances, no doubt bracing themselves for the explosion that was to follow.

Jungkook took a deep breath.

“Turn the fucking plane around.”

That jolted Namjoon out of his stunned stupor..

“Turn-? Jungkook what…. We’re on a fourteen hour flight-“ Namjoon began but the look on Jungkook’s face made him stop.

“DID I FUCKING STUTTER?”

Namjoon swore.

“Fucking hell… alright just calm the fuck down, Jesus…just put a fucking bullet in that girl’s head and spare us all the headache fuck…” He growled, unbuckling his seat belt and rushing to the cockpit and Yoongi groaned.

“ Let me guess you want me to get in touch with someone in Seoul and ask Hoseok to hold off on letting Seokjin near her…”

Jungkook glared at him.

“If you already know that why the fuck are you still here…” He growled and Yoongi gave him a look.

“Just tell her you’re in love with her and let us live, Jeon Jungkook.”

In love….. what the fuck….

He glared at Yoongi’s back, his asinine words making him madder. God he wanted to crush someone’s skull into dust with his bare hands.

And right now, in his head , that skull belonged to Jung fucking Hoseok.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 “What just happened?” I asked, frantic staring at the door as Hoseok’s men casually led a fuming Seokjin away while the man himself stared at me, looking pale as parchment.

“ Jungkook found out.” He said shortly and I felt my heart drop although I was half relieved because there had been something insane in Kim Seokjin’s gaze when he’d reached for me , a cruel glint of hunger that told me he would have hurt me really badly if Hoseok hadn’t barged into the room , frantic and worried.

He had given Seokjin a wide smile and then, “ I’m so sorry. We were waiting on her blood results and turns out she has a…. well, certain occupational disease that is very infectious.”

Seokjin’s mouth had dropped open even wider than mine.

“I thought she was a fucking virgin.” He had snapped, and I flinched at how cold and furious he had sounded.

But apparently there was a reason this whole thing had happened.

“What do you mean Jungkook knows? What does that mean?” I asked frantically, fear taking over.

“ He’s heading back here… He wants to see you.”

I felt my entire body go ice cold as I shook my head…

“No…fucking no bring Seokjin back here , he can fuck me that was the fucking deal, Hobi, please don’t../…”

“Elena , I’m so fucking sorry.. Seokjin…he’s fucked in the head…. He likes hurting his whores, likes making them bleed and he would have fucking destroyed you…”

I gaped at him horrified.

“What?!” I hissed shaking my head in disbelief.

“He’s Jungkook’ stepbrother. I’ve arranged whores for him before, I knew he was a little crazy but I’d never seen him before and I didn’t know he was the Kim Seokjin…fuck he outbid everyone and fucker looks like a fucking angel, how the fuck was I supposed to know he’s unhinged? Thankfully, I messaged Yoongi and …. Fuck… Listen… I know I paid for your sister’s surgery but you’re going to have to pay me back….”

I felt my body convulse in rebellion.

“I can’t.. You know I fucking can’t…”

“I can’t make an enemy out of Jungkook…. I can’t.” Hoseok shook his head. “ You can get out of here now if you want but I’d advise you to stay. If you run it’s only going to make Jungkook angrier.”

“WHAT DID I FUCKING DO TO HIM?!!!” I screamed, feeling my composure crumble into smithereens. “WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE WANT FROM ME?!!”

Hoseok flinched, stepping back and holding his hands up.

“Whether I want to or not, I answer to Jungkook.  I shouldn’t have done this in the first place , I’m sorry Elena.” He shook his head and stepped back like the coward that he was and I wanted to hurt him. To shake him and ask him to fucking remember who I was. That I had nothing to do with my father’s sins . That I had been a fucking marionette in his hands, had wanted nothing more than to be left alone.

I stared at him in disbelief.

“So much for being a friend…” I whispered.

His jaw tightened. But he didn’t look guilty. None of them ever did. It was like guilt didn’t exist in their world. They did what they wanted to whoever they wanted , whenever they wanted and they got away with it because that bastard’s word was law. What Jeon Jungkook wanted, he got.

“I’ll get your clothes sent in.”

I watched him leave, the door slamming shut behind him and sagged against the bed, staring at myself. What had just happened?

Was I born to endless misery and misfortune?

Couldn’t I catch a fucking break?

I’d agreed to sell myself hadn’t I? Would have even let Seokjin hurt me if that was what he wanted. Because it was one night. It was one night of this…whatever the hell this was and then freedom. That was the deal.

The door opened again and I stared as a young girl brought me a pile of my clothes neatly folded.

“Do you work here?” I said sharply.

She blinked before bowing her head.

“Yes, mistress.”

I scoffed.

“Don’t call me mistress , I’m here to get fucked, just like you. Tell me does Jungkook ever use the women here.” I demanded.

She looked trapped, glancing at the door, clearly wanting to run .

“Tell me.” I snapped and she flinched.

“I..uh..yes. Sometimes.” She said softly.

“Can you tell whoever fucks him next to kick him in the fucking balls?”

The girl bowed deeply and all but ran out and I sighed, feeling myself shaking. Jungkook was on the way here and I wanted to yell and scream and rave at him but I knew that was exactly what he wanted. I wanted to deny him the satisfaction …wanted to act all cool and composed in front of him but it was impossible…

Because I hadn’t realized just how tired I was of this whole thing, till right this moment, when the end had been in sight. I was supposed to get my two billion won pay off all the debt , give Jisoo the rest of the money and disappear. I was so tired, so tired of this life I’d gotten trapped into, slaving over for hours on end just to afford a couple of meals a day. No friends, no boyfriends, no hope of a future …..

The door banged open and I jumped, crawling back when I recognized the man who had just entered.

“Yoongi-“

“Jungkook wants to see you.” He ground out and I swallowed.

“I need to get dressed. Please just wait outside.” I said shakily.

And then the door opened further and a tall looming shadow stepped in familiar and vomit inducing.

Jungkook looked livid, piercing glinting through the dimply lit room and I stared at him. He was dressed in a tight black t shirt, he sleeves stretched thin over his biceps and the tattoos stark against his skin.

“Leave us.” He said softly and Yoongi moved away to the door leaving me alone with the devil himself. I cursed myself for not putting at least my panties on, I was naked underneath this shirt and although it was big it left nothing to the imagination.

Jungkook’s eyes raked over my form before resting on my face.

“You think you’re smart enough to outsmart me, Elena?” He whispered softly.

I swallowed.

“Send you brother back in. He can fuck me and I’ll pay you back.”

Jungkook hummed, stepping closer and grabbing my clothes from the bed, he grabbed the plain white bra and the pastel pink underwear and then to my complete and utter mortification he brought the clothing up to his face, breathing in .

“Fucking pervert!!!” I screamed, feeling the action like a physical touch and wanting to claw his eyes out and the smirk on his face told me that this was exactly what he wanted but I was too fucking gone to care.

“If you want me to be a whore, fine. I’ll be a whore. But on my terms…” I spat out and he shook his head, laughing.

“I don’t just want you to be a whore, Elena. I want everyone to know that you are one…” He dropped my clothes and moved closer, holding a hand out. “ Come here.”

I stared at the inked fingers, adorned with sterling silver rings and bracelets with the motifs of his gang. I shook my head.

“No. I’m not playing this game with you.” I turned my face away.

His hand shot out gripping my upper arm with enough strength to bruise and I screamed, agony shooting up my arm and shoulders as he dragged me off the bed and onto the floor. I landed hard, hips and elbows bruising from impact and I stared at him in disbelief.

“I’ve been to gentle with you. You’ve forgotten your fucking place.” He bent over and grabbed me by my hair, yanking me to my feet so hard that it felt like my scalp had been ripped away from my skull.

“Okay…okay…Okay Jungkook..just…!!” I said softly, flinching because my pain tolerance was almost zero and Jungkook’s grip was so hard that my eyes were beginning to water now. He let me go, grabbing my panties off the floor and tossing them at me.

“I’m going to count to five. Put those on and get out.”

He walked out of the door and I stumbled a little fumbling with the fabric before quickly, slipping my legs in and yanking it up to my waist. I made to put on something else but his voice came, loud and impatient.

“Get the fuck out here.”

I walked out of the door and he was standing there next to Hoseok. I couldn’t meet either of their gazes , hating how they had so much power over my life. I stared at the floor. It was tempting to yell at them and scream but that never led anywhere.

“ I’ve asked them to stop the payment on the Hospital bill. Seeing as Elena hasn’t kept her end of the bargain.”

I felt my breath hitch at that, willing down the tears as I glared at him.

“What do you want?” I snapped. “ Tell me who you want me to fuck…. I’ll do it. Let’s get this over with so you can go back to whatever sewer you fucking climbed out of. ….”

Hoseok’s breath caught like he couldn’t believe what I’d just said and the look in his eye was a warning but I was sick of this. Sick of them all.

Jungkook turned to Hoseok with a laugh.

“You see hyung? See why I can’t let her go? If I let her scot free, everyone’s going to think I’m a pushover….that any worthless bitch can talk to me any way she wants and get away with it….” He shook his head, staring at me with a glint in his eye. “ I’m not going to choose. They are. You think you can charm your way into Hoseok’s heart and get special treatment? You think you’re ready to be a whore, Elena? Let me show you how a real whore gets treated in Hoseok’s club.”

He gripped my wrist, yanking me behind him as he stalked off down the narrow corridor that opened up into the club. I let myself get dragged out into the club dismally aware of the fact that I was wearing nothing but Hoseok’s shirt. I could feel eyes on me but I kept mine on the back of Jungkook’s head as he dragged me all the way to the front. I knew what he was going to do and at this point I was just numb.

There was no point reasoning with the devil.

I glared at him as he pointed at the stage. “ Get up there.” He whispered harshly.

I stared back at him, not moving. I saw Jungkook’s jaw clench.

“Either you go up there by yourself, with your clothes on. Or I carry you up there, after stripping you naked. What’s it going to be? ”

I glared at him, pursing my lips before climbing up using the small stair in the side. I moved to the center, right in front of the stage lights, so the rest of the room would disappear. I had no wish to see any of the bastards in the room.

“I think all of you recognize this little beauty here, don’t you?” Jungkook’s voice was cheerful, friendly even and I bit my lips, fists clenched. “ Well, if you don’t let me tell you . This is Gong Hyo Suk’s daughter. Remember that bastard? He put a hit out on my father. Killed him and my mom on the night I was supposed to be marrying his fucking daughter. A daughter who later called off the wedding, because I was too poor now, to give her the life she deserved. ”

I felt the familiar ice cold guilt in my vein. I was seventeen, I wanted to scream. I was seventeen and all I did was say what my father asked me to say, do what my father asked me to do.

“ That was nine fucking years ago… and you know what I told myself…. I told myself, that a greedy little bitch like this, doesn’t deserve shit.” He laughed. “ If money’s what she values the most, then the only thing she deserves is to be treated like the whore she is.”

“Why don’t you guys tell me, how much money you’d be willing to spend, to fuck her? Come on, Hobi’s been treating you guys so well lets help him make some money tonight… be generous. ”

I could barely hear what they were calling out but when Jungkook climbed onto the stage next to me, I jumped. Moving back instinctively, I winced when brought a forearm around my throat nearly choking me as he dragged up against his body.

“90 million won….That’s a lot.” He grinned. “ Jihan hyung….. that was you right? You’re gonna pay 90 million won for her?”

I felt my heart race, it was a lot. More than enough for the Hospital Bills, would even leave extra to get a decent apartment somewhere... I grabbed his wrist as it pressed into my throat, trying to pull his hand off me but he just wrapped his free hand around my waist, wrapping his entire body around mine and chuckling into my hair.

Jungkook pressed his head against mine and I froze, hating the close contact.

“Okay…but since I’m feeling a bit left out here…Why don’t I pitch in… 500 Won.” Jungkook said loud and clear.

I froze. An eerie silence fell over the club, laughter stilling and the clink of glasses slowing down.

What.

I struggled to get away from his but his hold tightened.

“Anyone else?” He called out. “ Come on… Not even thousand? Surely you think this one here’s worth a thousand won? Aren’t you going to outbid me?”

No one responded of course they didn’t. Jungkook’s anger was palpable and no one was going to get on his wrong side …..

“Ahh… is that it then? Bid’s going to close for 500 won then…. Hear that baby?” He whispered against my ears and I swallowed. “ 90, million won to five hundred won in a few seconds… What does that tell you?”

“It tells me you’re a fucking psychopath in love with your own voice… Get off me.” I hissed.

“No. What it tells you is that only I get to decide how much that body of yours is worth, not you. . You don’t get to go sell your fucking body behind my back for two billion won and then pay off all your debts and ride off into the sunset, that is not how this works….”

I went limp in his arms fighting tears because he never played fair. Never.

“Hear that Hoseok-ah… I win her for the night for 500 won…fair and square…. Is that alright?” He called out into the darkness and I felt the first inkling of dread begin to seep in.

“No.. No… get off me.” I hissed and he laughed, dragging me off the stage with ease. I screamed, kicking out in disbelief.

Jungkook grinned at me, before grabbing both my arms and yanking them behind me, and I whimpered, unable to move as he easily pulled me along to the door that opened into the hallway. Behind us I heard Hoseok’s voice.

“Jungkook, don’t be impulsive. Think about whatever you’re going to do.”

I flinched at that, panic building.

“He’s not going to do anything. I’ll fucking kill him if he touches me , I-“

“Shut the fuck up, you little bitch.” He shook me hard till my teeth rattled and I sobbed out.

“Jungkook…” Hoseok warned but he merely snarled.

“I know what I’m doing hyung, just…. Don’t disturb us. And make sure everyone here knows that she’s open for business.” It was loud enough to carry through the club and I felt humiliation burn my throat, acrid like acid.

I froze in disbelief.

“Jungkook …” Hoseok’s voice held a tone of reproach.

“ And tell them that her body is amazing. Tell them she spent the night with me , the best fuck I’ve ever had , mouth made for cock.”

I stared straight ahead as he pulled me all the way to the room we had left earlier and I tripped when he shoved me inside, landing on my hands and knees . I quickly rolled back around to land on my ass, crawling back as he slammed the door shut and locked it from the inside.

He stared down at me, mouth grim.

“You do owe me a wedding night. I was so ready to fuck your tight cunt, nine years ago… I think I’ve waited long enough yeah.”

I stared at him in disbelief. I knew exactly what he wanted me to do, to yell and scream and protest and fight so he could get off and forcing me…. Fucking psychopath.

I took a deep breath and nodded.

“If you pay for my sister in laws bills, and give me an apartment sure. “ I shrugged. “You’re not any different from any of the bastards here. I don’t give a damn which one of you idiots wants to rut into me like the absolute animal that you are…. I don’t care…” I said softly.

“you don’t? Really? You want me to tell you what your brother said when one of my men put a gun into his mouth…. He begged for his life…said he had a kid on the way….” Jungkook laughed, shaking his head. “I told him it was better than what his father did…. My sister was six months pregnant when his lieutenant gunned her down on the streets.”

I shuddered, wrapping my arms around myself.

“Why are you telling me this…” I snapped.

“Because she didn’t deserve it did she, Elena? She didn’t fucking deserve to die like that , like a dog on the street when she had nothing to do with any of this…. She didn’t deserve it.” He growled, bending down and gripping my chin hard.

“Maybe she did deserve it.” I spat out. “ If I deserve to be here, maybe your sister deserved to die too. “

He snarled, hand flying to my hair and dragging me up off the floor in one sharp yank. I whimpered as he pushed me on the bed, before climbing on top of me. I felt like every bone in my body was about to snap in two, the weight of him unbearable on me.

“I won the bid tonight…. I won it fair and square… You signed the waiver didn’t you…that you agreed to the auction…I won and I’m going to fucking collect.” He growled, and I kicked out, trying to buck him off of my body.

“Get off me.” I hissed. “ I’m not letting you fuck me for 500 won.”

“How about for your Jisoo then?” He whispered and I went still.

“What?”

He chuckled, reaching down and I felt my pulse pound as he pulled his phone out, dialing quickly and turning on the speakers.

Yoongi’s voice made me go ice cold. Everyone knew what Yoongi did for Jungkook.

“Daehwan’s wife is in a hospital room in Yongsan. Hobi’s got the details. I think she’s served her purpose.”

“No!! JUNGKOOK NO!!” I  screamed , thrashing so hard my head began to spin but he grunted pressing down into me harder.

“Are you serious? I’m not home yet… I can take care of it tonight.” Yoongi said, voice casual and I sobbed, shaking my head in sheer terror.

“Okay… I’ll behave.. I promise.. please just don’t…”

Jungkook hummed.

“Well, that was easy… Yoongi-yah… why don’t you stay on the phone yeah…. Going to get that wedding night I’m owed and if my baby doesn’t co operate you know what to do, yeah?”  

I bit my lips, glaring into the sheets as he gripped my waist, pulling me up.

“Ass up like the bitch that you are, baby.” He whispered and I felt my entire body shudder in disgust. It was worse because I hadn’t done this before. Didn’t know what to expect. But I couldn’t let him know that. If Jungkook knew that I was a virgin, I could just imagine how much fun he’d have with that info.

Hands gripped my wrists, pinning them to the bed and I turned my face away when I felt the press of his lips on my cheeks. He gripped both my wrists with one hand, keeping them pinned over my head and I flinched when I felt his fingers pulling the fabric of my panties aside, just enough for the blunt head of his cock to press against my slit.

“Yoongi, you there?” Jungkook said softly and Yoongi grunted over the phone. I felt my face flame in embarrassment.

“You’re a sick bastard but I’m used to it. What’s up?” he said casually.

“Remember how we used to wonder just how tight Elena’s cunt was… back when we were in school.”

Fucking monster, I thought in disbelief. I hate him I hate him I hate him….

“Good times…” Yoongi chuckled lightly .

Jungkook pushed into me in one hard thrust and pain shot straight up my spine, my insides burning like he’d fucked me with a knife and not his body. I couldn’t stop the cry of agony that got torn of me, my eyes tearing up and tears spilling over onto my cheeks.

“Damn Jungkook, she okay?” Yoongi’s chuckle made me want to claw his face off, and just the urge to kill was growing inside me.

“Well, I can confirm that it is, in fact just as tight as we thought…” He grunted, thrusting into me at a pace that was inhumane, every push and drag of him rubbing my insides raw and I bit down on the sheets under me, afraid that I would do something absolutely humiliating, like beg him to stop.

“Good, you should let me take that tight ass for a ride someday then. With her permission of course…. I’m a gentleman after all. Big on consent.” He laughed and I swallowed the urge to tell him that I would puncture his balls with a switchblade if he came anywhere near me.  

“Oh, she’s going to do whatever I ask her to….aren’t you baby…” He grunted, “ Turn around so I can see you.”

He pulled out of me, his weight lifting off my body as he moved away. I couldn’t move, limbs numb and insides throbbing in pain . His palm landed on my thigh, hard and the sharp sting of it made me jump.

“I said turn around, I want to see your face when I fuck you.” Jungkook growled. I stayed limp, breathing hard and he grunted impatient, fingers sinking into my hair , yanking me to my knees and the movement made my legs scream in protest.

“How’s she so quiet? You fucked the voice out of her, kook-ah?” Yoongi asked amused and Jungkook pulled me by the hair, dragging me to the center and pushing me down till my head landed on the pillow.

“Hyung you should see her right now, all fucked out …. Like she’s never had a dick in her before.” He shook his head, “ Fucking slut. Take that off and hold yourself open for me.”

I stared at him, uncomprehending and he grabbed both my hands, placing them on my knees.

“Grab your knees and pull your legs back… So I can fuck that tight cunt the way I want to.” He said slowly, like I was a dog he was trying to train and I stared at him , defiantly.

“ Go to hell.” I whispered.

Yoongi’s laughter came from somewhere to the right.

“Your dirty talk needs work, Kook ah… Tell her she’s a precious little kitten and she makes you feel really good…. Bitches love that shit…”

Jungkook hovered over me, grabbing the back of my thighs and spreading them wide enough to make me whimper in pain.

“Is that so babygirl? You want me to tell you that? That you make daddy’s cock feel good?” He cooed, nudging the tip against me again and I had never hated anyone so much in my life. I stared up at his face, and he smiled at me, a cheeky little grin that made his bunny teeth stand out and for a second he looked so deceptively angelic and the glimmer of his piercing caught my eye.

I couldn’t help but swallow, gaze trained on the glint of metal on his tongue.

“You like that?” He grinned suddenly, sticking his tongue out for me to see, I felt my eyes widen at how sinfully good he looked .” Hyung she likes my tongue piercing.”

“Show her how it feels on her clit.” Yoongi laughed and I could barely fully process what I heard before Jungkook was crawling down my body, arms, curling on my thighs and yanking me onto his tongue .

I felt the press of his tongue on my slit, licking right into me and the jolt of pleasure was so unexpected, the pleasure so unwanted and yet so overwhelming and I couldn’t stop the way my body thrashed against the streets, lips parted as I practically mewled out in pleasure.

“Definitely a kitten…” Yoongi called out and I shuddered as Jungkook slipped two fingers into me , the ice cold press of his ring inside me making me jump. I wanted to pull away, grab his hair and yank him off but I couldn’t because it was

“Next time I’ll put the dick piercing in too, yeah? Fuck you with a bit of metal on my cock so you can feel that up there…. ” He laughed into my thighs and I screamed when he bit into the flesh there , hard.

“I’m getting bored… Either turn on facetime so I can at least jerk off to this , or I’m hanging up…” Yoongi called out .

“Hyung she clenches down on me every time she hears your voice… Just stay on for a few more minutes yeah, she tastes so fucking good, I’m gonna cum soon….” Jungkook added another finger, slipping in deep before spreading them apart inside me. I whimpered when he pushed his tongue in between the wet digits, licking into my walls and I could feel the ball of his piercing drag against my walls, ice cold and hard.

Was it fucked up that I did clench down on him again, my body apparently a slave to my base desires even as my mind screamed that he was the absolute worst bastard on the face of the planet.

“Elena, you owe me a blowjob at least for this…” Yoongi called out and I glared at the phone.

“I’ll bite your fucking dick off if you come anywhere near me.” I snapped.

“Fuck, I could get off just to that mouthy fuckhole of hers…..” Yoongi grunted.

Jungkook pulled away, climbing back up over me and lightly slapping my breasts.

“Now, how about you open that mouth and let me fuck it?”

Yoongi snorted from behind us and Jungkook glared at the phone before glaring at me again.

“Well?”

“You want to know how hard I can bite?” I said sharply, the pleasure ebbing away into nothing and resentment taking it place, the momentarily physicality of the situation fading and the reminder of who he was and who I was entering my sex addled brain.

“No.. You’re right…. But you know what, I’m not feeling it anymore. I was right.. you really aren’t qualified to be my whore. Your body…it’s frigid like a fucking popsicle…such a fucking turn off. ” He reached over and hung up on the phone.

“Now…”he whispered, leaning in closer and I yelped, when his fingers closed over my throat..” Shut your mouth and take what I give you like a grateful bitch.”

I swallowed when he pushed into me again, his pace steady as he fucked into me, eyes closed and I realized that he was almost fully dressed having just unbuttoned himself enough to get his cock out.

When he stiffened, spilling into me his eyes blew open and he locked eyes with me, wide eyed and for one horrible second he looked young and vulnerable and hurt.

I blinked as he pulled out, the sticky warm mess of his cum dripping down my inner thighs and onto the sheets.

“Well, that was much worse than I thought it would be.”  He said and I stayed on the bed as he grabbed his phone and buttoned himself back up.

He smirked at me and then reached into his pocket.

I quickly pulled myself together, ignoring the aches and pains and getting to my knees before reaching for my dress on the bed. it was kind of pointless because I still had Hoseok’s shirt on and I wasn’t going to take that off in front of Jungkook.

“Well, I’m a man of my word , Elena so…here you go..just as we discussed.” He tossed a coin on the bed and I stared at the engraved 500 on the shiny surface, feeling my rage swell inside me.

“If you still want to work out a payment plan for your sister’s bills …. Why don’t you come to my office tomorrow?” He tossed his card on the bed before  moving away to the door.

Fucking bastard.

Author’s note : My whole life is filled with regrets . 

#jungkook smut #bts smut #ts fics #jungkook fics #bts fanfic #jungkook mafia au #bts mafia au

[bloody-bee-tea]

Parents

Jiang Cheng is still panting heavily when he goes to check if they really did kill the yao, but when he turns slightly to make a joke at Nie Mingjue, his husband is nowhere to be seen.

“Mingjue?” Jiang Cheng yells out and he doesn’t want to admit it, but fear grips his heart.

The last moments of the fight were pretty hectic and rough; what if something happened to Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng didn’t notice it?

“Mingjue?” Jiang Cheng yells again, louder this time, when no answer comes and he goes back to where he thinks he saw Nie Mingjue last.

“Shush, Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue scolds him out of the blue and Jiang Cheng follows his voice into one of the many destroyed houses around the place.

The did not lose the whole village to the yao; these are long abandoned houses they simply found the yao at and so Jiang Cheng frowns.

“What’s going on?” he asks, carefully stepping into one of the destroyed houses but he comes to an abrupt stop when he sees what Nie Mingjue is holding.

“Is that a baby?” Jiang Cheng breathes out and is at Nie Mingjue’s side a moment later.

“Yes,” Nie Mingjue says, even though it’s pretty obvious that the squirming and clearly upset bundle in his arms is a human baby.

“What happened?” Jiang Cheng demands to know and steps closer to check the baby over.

“I don’t know. She made a sound and when I came in here, I found her all naked on the ground, not even crying. I hope she’s okay.”

Now that Nie Mingjue said it Jiang Cheng realizes that he cut his own robes to dress her, and the act just makes him love Nie Mingjue more.

“Let me see her,” Jiang Cheng says, holding his hands out expectantly and when Nie Mingjue drops her into his arms he checks her over more thoroughly.

There are no visible wounds on her and even though she seems a little bit too cold, she’s quickly warming up, now that she can leech off Jiang Cheng’s and Nie Mingjue’s body heat.

“She seems fine to me,” Jiang Cheng decides. “Maybe a little bit hungry, but she doesn’t seem injured.”

“Thank the gods,” Nie Mingjue breathes out and gently strakes his finger over her cheek. “I was worried because she wouldn’t cry. I still remember how Jin Ling was, it seemed strange for her not to make a sound.”

Jiang Cheng decides not to take offense on Jin Ling’s behalf, because he was one loud baby and instead says “Babies are much more sensitive than we give them credit for. If her parents were hiding from the yao, it’s likely she somehow picked up on the fact that she needs to be quiet.”

“She’s barely older than six month,” Nie Mingjue says with a frown and Jiang Cheng presses her protectively to his chest.

“And maybe she’s just especially bright,” he snaps back and then walks out of the house. “Come on, we still have to let the healers check her over, maybe we missed something,” he calls over his shoulder when Nie Mingjue doesn’t follow him immediately.

“Alright, alright. But Wanyin—no getting attached. We’re not keeping her,” he says and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“Of course we’re not keeping her. I don’t want any more kids, Jin Ling totally was enough for me,” he cheekily says, though immediately the doubt cuts deep again.

Jin Ling is only six, but the kid already has an attitude and he has his nose high up in the sky and Jiang Cheng is afraid that he fucked him over for good. He is not fit to raise any kid, least of all his sister’s child, and absolutely not the sweet baby in his arms.

“As long as you remember,” Nie Mingjue says and then keeps a hand under the babies bum the whole time they walk.

As if Jiang Cheng would ever let anything this precious drop.

~*~*~

“How is our baobei doing?” Nie Mingjue asks with a huge smile as he walks into the infirmary.

They are keeping her there for a lack of better accommodations, though Jiang Cheng is getting out all of Jin Ling’s old stuff again. Soon enough she’ll be able to sleep with them in their bedroom.

“She is perfectly alright,” Jiang Cheng gives back and looks up from where he’s sitting on the floor, tickling her tummy and watching her squirming around and squealing with laughter.

“And how is my most amazing husband doing?” Nie Mingjue asks as he drops a kiss to Jiang Cheng’s head and then blows raspberries onto the babies tummy.

“I am doing very well, too, thank you for asking,” Jiang Cheng seriously gives back and then erupts into laughter when Nie Mingjue gives him a disgruntled look at that.

It makes the baby clap her hands together and kick her tiny, tiny feet in the air and Jiang Cheng simply melts at the sight.

“And news of her parents?” he asks, mostly to distract himself from the urge of squeezing her to death and Nie Mingjue shakes his head as he sits down next to Jiang Cheng and picks her up.

“No. There were reports of a family running from the yao, but no one knew them and no one seems to know where the parents ran off to. I left a message in the house we found her in, in case they come back, but I don’t think it’s looking promising. It’s been a week already.”

“Yeah,” Jiang Cheng thoughtfully says and offers up one of his fingers for her to hold on to. “What a shame.”

“Yeah,” Nie Mingjue agrees and then they fall silent.

Well, at least until their little baobei starts to scream bloody murder because she’s hungry.

~*~*~

They are laying in bed, Jiang Cheng tracing senseless shapes into Nie Mingjue’s chest when he speaks up.

“We’re not keeping her, right?” Jiang Cheng asks and Nie Mingjue tenses.

“Wanyin, I thought we were agreeing on this,” he cautiously says and Jiang Cheng props himself up to look at him.

“We are. I am not fit to be a father; I was barely able to be an uncle to Jin Ling and raising him—I did so much wrong. I’m too much of my mother and not enough of my father and I’m just—”

“Well, from what you told me about your parents and from what I have seen with Jin Ling you are exactly the right mix of them. Just from the top of my head I can come up with at least seven instances where you held or carried Jin Ling, so I’d say you are perfectly good.”

“I messed up so much with him,” Jiang Cheng mutters. “The real damage will only show when he’s older, just you wait.”

“Well, pardon me, but your parents were shit and you turned out alright if I dare say so,” Nie Mingjue tells him and pulls him into a kiss. “And I am not actually keen on being a dad, either. I was pouring so much into raising Huaisang when our father died and I don’t know if I can raise anyone without the explicit expectation of them having to be a Sect Heir.”

Nie Mingjue sighs and Jiang Cheng snuggles closer to him.

“Look at how I messed up with him. I put so much pressure onto him all the time because I feared I would die young and now he avoids any kind of responsibility as if his life depends on it. I already fucked up once. I’m not going to do it again.”

“You didn’t fuck up,” Jiang Cheng protests. “If anything you spoilt him too much. You were too lenient. It’s not like he ever cowers when you yell at him, right? He’s clearly not afraid of you or the consequences you keep threatening him with, because he damn well knows you’d never follow through.”

“Is that right?” Nie Mingjue asks, raising one eyebrow at Jiang Cheng. “Just like Jin Ling laughs at you whenever you threaten to break his legs?”

“That’s different,” Jiang Cheng huffs.

“I don’t think it is,” Nie Mingjue argues and then rolls them over onto the side so they can sleep.

“No more kids,” he mutters, burying his face in Jiang Cheng’s hair and Jiang Cheng agrees.

No more kids for them.

~*~*~

It’s been two months by now since they found little Baobei in the abandoned house and they have formed a routine around her.

The healers complained after two weeks of her being in the infirmary that she can’t stay there anymore so Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue took her to their own bedroom, letting her sleep right next to their bed, so they could keep an eye on her.

“Good morning, little baobei,” Jiang Cheng says when she grumbles herself awake and Nie Mingjue laughs at the sight.

“She’s just like you,” he jokes and Jiang Cheng can’t even manage a proper frown over her head.

“Shut up, she is not,” he denies and Nie Mingjue has not even the decency to argue with him about this.

“Let’s go find Jiang Zedong and hear how the search for parents for her is going,” Jiang Cheng mutters, a little bit miffed that Nie Mingjue wouldn’t indulge him in a little argument, but when Nie Mingjue comes over to pepper first Baobei with kisses and then Jiang Cheng, he decides it’s forgotten.

When they ask Jiang Zedong about the issue he stares at them like they lost their minds.

“What do you mean, possible parents for her?”

“What do you mean, what do we mean?” Jiang Cheng bites back, though he’s aware that the look is a little bit ruined with Baobei in his arms. “You’re supposed to look for possible parents for her, what’s going on?”

“You mean for other people to take her in?”

“Other people? Who else would take her in?” Nie Mingjue asks as well, and when Baobei starts to sniffle, he takes her right out of Jiang Cheng’s arms.

It turns out that Baobei is a very sensitive baby, and she picks up on moods incredibly well. They haven’t found much that can sooth her, but resting against Nie Mingjue’s chest always seems to do the trick.

Jiang Cheng can relate. It’s a very good chest to lean on.

“You?” Jiang Zedong shoots back and Jiang Cheng quickly reaches out when Nie Mingjue’s arms go slack.

He manages to secure Baobei until Nie Mingjue remembers himself and hugs her close again.

“We’re not looking to adopt,” Nie Mingjue tells him, and Jiang Zedong frowns in confusion.

“But didn’t you already? I mean, she sleeps with you and you modelled your whole day around her. You come running when she cries or makes any kind of sound and no offense, but you don’t even allow the healers to hold her for her check-ups. I am actually afraid of what you’ll do if I tell you that we did find someone to adopt. Honestly, I just thought you would keep her.”

Jiang Cheng blinks at Nie Mingjue who in turn blinks at him.

“We didn’t want to adopt,” Jiang Cheng eventually says and Nie Mingjue nods.

“Well, to me—and everyone else—it looks like you already did. Now if you excuse me, I have real problems to solve here,” he then tells them and simply marches off.

Jiang Cheng wonders what demon was possessing him when he appointed Jiang Zedong his second in command, but when Baobei gurgles he forgets that thought.

“We weren’t looking to adopt,” Nie Mingjue says and bounces Baobei in a soothing manner.

“No, we weren’t.”

“Maybe—maybe she adopted us?” Nie Mingjue tries and Jiang Cheng sighs, before he leans into Nie Mingjue’s side.

“My soul, maybe it’s time we face the truth,” he gravely says, and surprisingly enough he’s not terrified out of his mind. “We’re done for. We are her parents.”

There’s a moment of silence from Nie Mingjue before he shrugs.

“Could be worse, I guess,” he says and lifts Baobei up high in the air.

Jiang Cheng fights the urge to snag her out of his hands, because what if he lets her fall, but by then Nie Mingjue already has her safely against his chest again.

“Just promise me, Wanyin: if I put too much pressure on her, if I demand too much of her, you’ll have to smack me over the head.”

“I’ll smack you over the head whenever I please,” Jiang Cheng cheerfully tells him but then he nods. “Of course I promise. And—the same goes for you: if I snap at her like my mother did or if I don’t give her the affection she deserves, you’ll have to smack some sense into me.”

“I promise, my heart, but you already did a good job with Jin Ling.”

Jiang Cheng doesn’t comment on that, because the fear that he fucked his nephew up sits deep, but when Baobei babbles happily at him, he pushes those thoughts away.

“Oh shit,” Jiang Cheng suddenly says, and looks with big eyes at Nie Mingjue. “We have to come up with a real name for her!”

“Oh fuck,” Nie Mingjue wholeheartedly agrees and then they dissolve into laughter because if that is their biggest worry right now, then maybe they’ll be alright.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

#bt writes #the untamed #mdzs #mingcheng #mdzsbingo #established relationship #canon divergence #adoption #found family #quite literally #fluff

[mondothebombo]

The Ninja’s Love Languages

For anyone who doesn’t know, the five love languages are...

Words of Affirmation

Physical Touch

Quality Time

Gifts

Acts of Service

I had this idea last night at 4 am and i’m gonna try and make sense of it so here we go...

Jay

Physical Touch

-this one’s super easy

-hands down this is 100% jay

-when isn’t this boy clinging onto someone (esp. nya and cole)

-i mean just look (there’s so many more but i got lazy, feel free to add on)

-his first response to comfort/fear is a hug, a hand on shoulder, etc.

-and when you think abt it it makes sense

-cuz first of all just look at his parents, ed and edna

-the most affectionate and loving ppl on this goddam planet

-they showered him w/ undying love and support his whole life, ofc this kid’s gonna turn out the same

-but then if you also tie in his abandonment issues and fear of being alone and it makes even more sense

-we find out abt those mainly in s12 when he talks abt his birth parents to unagami, but looking at what happened to him in s6 when he was alone for so long on the misfortunes keep and nya dying to top it off...

-he lost all his friends not once, but twice (and that’s not including all the separate times the ninja have died) plus he feels like his birth parents abandoned him, w/o him even rlly knowing for sure what happened

-so it makes sense he’d be more comfortable showing his love by clinging onto someone, giving a hug, high-fiveing, etc.

- i hope this made sense i’m so sorry

Nya

Acts of Service

-this also makes sense

-we all know nya is a very independent person, and she doesn’t usually like all the touchy feely stuff

-this is especially shown w her and jay’s relationship

-( i didn’t want to make this all abt jaya i’m sorry)

-we know they both are two very different ppl.

-nya’s strong and independent, while jay is a lot more sensitive

-you’ll notice in the earlier seasons nya almost never initiated the affection w jay, he always the first to mention it, also coupled w the fact that she’s never told jay “i love you” (at least not yet) and we can pin this on her childhood

-she and kai didn’t have it great as kids, they basically raised e/o and the only times nya ever heard “i love you” was from kai

-so if she wasn’t used to saying it growing up, why would she immediately jump to it now that she’s a teenager/young adult? even w someone she does love

-she expresses her love in what she does and says.

-the main example i can think of atm is this

-jay’s freaking out abt catching her for the dance move and with 100% confidence she just says “i trust you” and then fucking yeets herself at him

-there’s other examples of this w the others too

-she builds their mechs and vehicles, back in the earlier seasons she always made sure the boys were taken care of when they got back from missions, she was always the cavalry, she sacrificed herself for jay back in s6 when they were at the lighthouse, and kai mentions she’s always taken care of him

-not to mention how she adopted lloyd back when he first came in

-i could go on

-does this make sense?? i hope it does

Cole

Words of Affirmation

-i had a little more trouble thinking abt cole but now that i’ve decided i’m pretty sure WoA suits him best

-cole didn’t have the best childhood either

-we now know his mom, Lilly, died when he was fairly young, judging by the flashback, i’d estimate around 10-13 y/o

-we know it wasn’t too long before wu found him

-and she showered him in love much like jay was

-just in the flashback she tells him how proud she is of him and how much she loves him

-(also look how quick he was to try and justify why he got in a fight to avoid getting yelled at when his mom mentioned him getting in trouble bc he didn’t want to disappoint her)

-now we don’t know what Lou was like before his wife died, but we know he was definitely not as loving towards cole afterwards

-Lou ignored Cole due to his grief most of the time, coupled w him wanting Cole to follow in his footsteps, and their relationship overall sucks until after the royal blacksmiths ep

-so it all falls the same that Cole would want to keep seeking out the words he got from his mother in his relationships w others (especially authority figures)

-just look at all the times he absolutely lights up when getting praised by wu or even the others

-plus thx to day of the departed, we know he’s afraid of being forgotten

-hearing the others say they love him and want him around would appease that

-staying on this train, we have...

Lloyd

Words of Affirmation

-i was tied between this one and acts of service, but then i decided

-lloyd’s life, esp his childhood, has absolutely sucked

-he was abandoned at a very young age at darklys which we know the other boys there weren’t kind, and then when he finally gets a home and a family, the weight of the world is now on his shoulders bc he’s a prophesied savior

-morro’s possession says enough on its own

-the list goes on

-then we get s8-s10

-harumi goes and absolutely destroys his trust in everyone and everything

-(after she told him she loved him)

-but also...

- then boom. yeeted through a wall

-he’s been abandoned, rejected, and used his whole life

-why wouldn’t this kid need words of affirmation??

-the other ninja have been the one staple in his entire life, and after everything he’s gone through, he definitely needs to hear that they love him and want him around every now and then

-this kid’s also emotional (who can blame him)

-he always puts all his cards on the table, more so in s11 and onward

-and we’ve seen how he always gives encouraging words to the others, mainly while they’re fighting

Zane

Quality Time

-i had trouble w zane’s too lol

-but i think this fits

-this nindroid is the purest being ever

-don’t get me wrong, zane can definitely be a smart ass and sassy when he wants to, he’s not all innocent, but u catch my drift

-let’s look at his past too

-he was all alone and by himself, he didn’t even know who he was until he found his true potential

-and he gets a family, ppl who live and care abt him

-then he sacrifices himself and dies

-when he was imprisoned on chen’s island, he was alone

-then decoded happens and we find out he’s got intense trauma from that

-he thought he was alone in his internal battle

-then boom

-he’s the fucking ice emperor. alone for decades, committing genocide

-and when he finally snapped out of it, that had to of destroyed him

-he’s spent so much time being alone and facing so much trauma, that he always gravitates towards being in groups

-we’ve seen him and pixal spend time working together in the workshop, he enjoys family meals and cooking for everyone, he’s been shown to not like it when the others occasionally fight, and an overall loving guy

-he prbly doesn’t realize it, but he’s the glue that holds everyone together

-this one was so jumbled

and last but not least...

Kai

Gifts

-now not only does this fit his personality, it also makes sense with his bad childhood

-we all know kai is a very cocky and prideful person. he’s always showing off, flaunting his good looks, and can be sometimes arrogant

-ofc under all that is a very kind and loving big brother and friend

-but bc of this he’d not only love getting gifts from fans and the others, but giving them as well

-kai, like nya, didn’t have a good childhood

-he’s not an emotional person and he was never used to saying “i love you,” instead he had to take care of his sister while trying to run a business

-his way of showing love is giving things for his family

-there’re aren’t many instances of this in the show, but the gift giving doesn’t necessarily have to be smthg physical

-he’s sacrificed himself for the others on several accounts, he offers advice when needed, giving pep talks, helping raise lloyd, he even helped jay propose to nya, those things can be considered as gifts too

(again i’m sorry if any of this isn’t coherent i just had some thoughts. pls feel free to add on if i missed smthg)

The point of this is that these kids love each other and have different ways of showing it💙💜🧡💚🤍❤️

#ninjago #ninjago jay #ninjago nya #ninjago cole #ninjago lloyd #ninjago zane #ninjago kai #jay walker #nya smith #cole brookstone #lloyd garmadon #zane julien #kai smith #minor ns15 spoiler #my meta #mondo’s metas #the squad

[homieswithhades]

why steve rogers returning to the past was wrong

disclaimer: im clearly a stucky enthusiast, but please, do not be thrown off by that. i admit, there may be undertones of bias because of that in the following, but i did my best with trying to lay out the facts and draw logical conclusions, so do please give me a chance. also, i may have accidentaly omitted some moments and some quotes may not be 100% word for word, as my memory lowkey sucks. ALSO this is NOT a peggy hate post!! i think shes a dope and underrated character and quite frankly she was done dirty. but i also definitely h8 the trope of badass woman falls for the hero.

first and foremost, every sane person knows endgame was complete and utter bullshit when dealing with steves character, so this post will be more for you to maybe show (and hopefully convince) some stubborn friend or family member. nice, concise (not) and including proof from the movies (+a few tweets and stucky undertones, if u dont fw that i respect it but bucky is an integral part to steves character regardless of how u interpret their relationship) here is why steves character development was thrown away at the end of endgame.

let us begin at looking at the cap trilogy.

in ca:tfa it should be noted that steve had no one to return to in the 40s, except bucky. i believe steves relationship with peggy was no where near as developed as it should have been to elicit him returning exclusively for her. as we are aware, steves driving force has absolutely always been bucky. bucky was there for steve after his parents died, when he was sick, and always protected him from whatever trouble he got himself into. "until the end of the line" right? steves relationship with peggy was forced and short lived, literally, we're talking a matter of months here. i need to keep emphasising the important disparity between bucky and peggy, as it is absolutely key in this whole argument. steve dropped everything and went against every order just to even attempt to save bucky. even the slightest chance of him surviving being captured was enough for steve to break into a hydra camp and free the 107th division. steve even had the chance to capture zola, one of the main villains and masterminds of the war, but again, steve prioritised bucky. when theyre trying to escape the exploding hydra camp, the exchange between steve and bucky is critical. steve says "go! get out of here!" as all he wanted was bucky escaping safely. he put bucky's life over his own (this wasnt the first time he did this, nor the last) but bucky rooted himself to the spot, and yelled back "no, not without you!". they both escaped safely as we know, and then steve gathers the howling commandos to take down the red skull. bucky then falls off the train, nd steve blames himself for his death, even visibly crying over it twice. steves morals went from "i dont wanna kill anyone. i dont like bullies, i dont care where theyre from" before buckys death, to "i wont stop until all of hydra are dead or captured" after. stuff happens and steve defeats the red skull and is now in control of the flying ship with the bombs. he connects the comms with peggy and she tries to convince him theres another way to disarm the ship. steve was so dedicated at that point he didnt even want to hear it. he didnt even attempt to do anything to ensure his survival. this alone proves, peggy was not important enough to him to return to.

next is ca:tws. The stevebucky movie. in the museum, peggy confirms that steve saved the man from the 107th division who eventually became her husband (steve was never in the 107th, just to clarify) i believe her husbands name was daniel sousa (as revealed in the marvels agents of shield show) steve then finds out peggy is alive and talks to her. she, in short, tells him she's lived her life, and it was his turn to live his in the time hes in. the "my best girl" line was unnecessary and out of place; again, steve barely knew her. again, shit goes down, and steve finds out the winter soldier is bucky and immediately drops everything, and becomes dead set on saving him. not killing, not imprisoning, but saving him. no matter the cost. "he saw me, and he didnt even know me" "hes not the kind you save, hes the kind you stop. he won't recognise you" "he will." god, steve KNEW bucky would recognise him. regardless of the brainwashing, steve managed to break through the barrier hydra fought so hard to drill into buckys mind. nothing ever broke him out of that state exept for steve. "im not gonna fight you, youre my friend." "youre my mission" "then finish it. cos im with you till the end of the line." [[good fucking lord let me break out of my essay-esque semi professional format here and just say how fucking heartbreaking those lines are. oh my god. read them, over and over until it hits you.]] steve shows us again, that he is willing to not only die for bucky, but literally die by his hand. he would let bucky kill him. he'd dropped his shield. he didnt fight back. steve always, always, ALWAYS got up and fought back. always. exept that time. the time bucky could have killed him. that scene is the essence of "im with you till the end of the line" because then, it was true. it was true because steve was okay with dying at buckys mercy. theres a difference between sacrificing yourself for the greater good (steve going into the ice), willing to die for someone (steve risking his life multiple times in attempts to save bucky) and finally, being willing to let someone kill you, because you love and trust them so much (hellicarier scene). the difference between peggy and bucky's relationship to steve is that steve may be willing to die for either, but only willing to be killed by one. not to mention, bucky pulled steve from the river. he recognised him. steve broke through 70 years of brainwashing with such impact it literally drove bucky away from hydra out of his own free will.

in between ca:tws and ca:cw its confirmed (im p sure sam says it) that him and steve looked for bucky for two. years. even off screen, bucky was steves priority.

im going to squeeze in 2 points from from age of ultron here, for chronology's sake:

steves worst nightmare, as portayed in the movie, is LITERALLY going back to the 40s and being stuck there (with peggy too??lmfao) and also the quote "family, stability, the man who wanted all that went in the ice 75 years ago. i think another one came out." objectively confirms that steve isn't the man he used to be, and doesnt want to return to the past. aou may have sucked, but that doesn't mean the character development should be thrown away.

ca:cw. hoo boy. steve went against 117 countries and half of his closest friends and colleagues because he believed bucky was innocent of the bombing of the un conference. god, steve quite literally, did everything to defend and protect bucky. though i shall acknowledge that steve did attend peggy's funeral, however, there was no real connotations there other than the fact he was mourning her death (understabdibly so). steve then proceeds to protect bucky for 2 hours 27 mins and 41 seconds to the point where they escape together to siberia after the airport fight. "i dont know if im worth all this steve" "what you did all those years... it wasnt you. you didnt have a choice." "i know. but i did it" again, absolutely heartbreaking quotes if you read it a couple of times and truly understand the meaning of them. steve somewhat indirectly tells bucky yes, yes he is worth all of this. otherwise, he wouldn't be doing it. a quote to support that would be "for the longest time, i always did what i thought was right." (disclaimer this is not a direct quote i deadass couldnt find it to save my life, i belive steve said it at some point during civil war or tws, but the point is, bucky is the only thing that could have shaken steves morals so intensely.) and finally, the most important part of cw, the fight at the end with tony. bucky and steve constantly protected each other. steve kept fighting because he was fighting for bucky. to keep him safe from tony and the world. he got up, time and time again. "i can do this all day." the fact that he said that to tony, some people consider them the closest of friends, proves again, a million times over, bucky is more important to steve than literally anything else, INCLUDING his shield. his mantle. he dropped it and left it like it was nothing, because his priority was bucky. as always.

theres not much to discuss for infinity war other than their hug whicg was honestly just adorable.

mmmmm endgame. i will not go into how much i hate that movie because it would be a rant quintuple the length of this one. in the support group, steve dead ass fucking says "you gotta move on. you gotta move on" and that sentiment was literally forgotten at the end. my main point for endgame is this. people tend to tell me, the reason steve abandoned bucky and went back to be with peggy is because he knew that he was finally safe. :/. if you had half a braincell youd know that's not true. the steve we know, never would have left bucky for good, ESPECIALLY after the "dont do anything stupid until i get back" exchange [[god i want to beat the shit out of the r*ssos]] mostly because, bucky had fucking no one in the time he was living in!!! no family, no friends and most heartbreakingly, no one he could trust. (yes sam was there but were just seeing their friendship develop now in tfatws, all that wasnt there in endgame) and secondly, what made steve think bucky was entirely safe??? half of the worlds population just suddenly reappeared, which as we see now, there were massive consequences for that. i simply believe steve is not that stupid. steve going back was disrespectful not only to his character, but to bucky AND peggy. most importantly, the steve we've been watching since 2011 would NEVER abandon bucky, no matter how safe he thought he was (he visited him frequently in wakanda, the safest place on the planet arguably ffs) especially for such a dumbass and quite frankly, nonsensical reason as going back to be with peggy, who clearly stated to him she moved on, and so should he (which he did. idk endgame writers prolly didnt watch the previous movies :/) its not even debatable. bucky is more important to steve than peggy. even in terms of screentime.

now allow some tweets to speak for me, this one being the absolute most important one:

ladies and gentlefolk, all of the stuff ive said can be summarised in that last line. "it would be contrary to who he is."

heres some more:

and now finally, id like to briefly mention steve and tfatws, so beware of spoilers (writing this as of ep 4 coming out; praying it doesn't age badly)

bucky mentions steve, unprompted, fucking constantly. he clearly isnt over steve leaving, and im hoping that gets acknowledged and talked out in the show.

in conclusion, tl:dr, steve shouldn't have returned to the past and stayed there, it is contrary to who he is, as shown to us through his trilogy and other appearances in the mcu. not to mention the timeline bullshit in endgame makes zero sense in the first place.

#long post #stucky #captain america #steve rogers #mcu #marvel #tfatws #bucky barnes #peggy carter #hwh's marvel thoughts #please dont bullshit me in the comments also i dont have the strength #imma hide this in the tags praying no 1 will b bothered to look but steve and bucky gay #everytime some1 calls their relationship brotherly it takes 10 years off my life nd makes me wanna impale myself ❤ #also no beta we die like men #my meta

[imaginationintowords]

Folklore [song series]

epiphany

Modern Day AU! Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff; Steve Rogers x OC!Reader

Plot: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s new album Folklore. The story follows the timeline of Bucky and Elizabeth’s life throughout the years

[warnings: death]

word count: 3168

Age: 21 Year: Sep. 2015 Location: Brooklyn, NY

"So I was thinking, godparents," Bucky spoke up. He and Natasha were currently finishing setting up the baby's nursery in their new apartment.

They had found a nice two bedroom apartment in Brooklyn, much to Natasha's dismay. Bucky thought it was the perfect place to start their new little family. It was also about a 20 to 30 minutes drive to Bucky's work and University campus. His mom and stepdad had even offered to help them out financially for a bit, just as long as Bucky continued on his path to graduate with his Masters in Music Technology in the Spring.

Bucky had managed to finish his bachelor's and masters program in just the span of 4 years, a whole year earlier than originally planned. He was proud of himself, if there's one thing he hadn't screwed up yet, it was his education. He had fully devoted himself to his education the last four years and it clearly paid off. He had also managed to get a good paying job at a studio as an engineer. He had his whole future all planned out, the pregnancy might've been a curve ball at the beginning but with the help of his family and therapist, he was handling it all so well.

"Oh you don't need to worry about the godparents, I have it all figured out already," Natasha tells him as she folds baby clothes, "I picked Abigail and Dylan."

Natasha on the other hand had decided to put her education on hold. Deciding she wanted to be a stay at home mom, Bucky constantly made sure that that's what she wanted. And she insisted every time that she was "made to be a stay at home mom". So Bucky had to reluctantly allow her to make that decision. 

Which was one of the reasons why his parents had offered to help out for at least the first year or two, they had known their son was already stressing about finances, and trying to respect Natasha's decision. They figured two years would be a good enough time for the couple to build up their savings.

Bucky didn't like the fact that his parents were helping out with money, but he knew him and Nat wouldn't have been able to make it just on is current income alone. At least not until after he graduated, his boss had already promised a raise once he graduated, but that wasn't until May and the baby was due in the next two weeks.  He promised to pay his parents back every cent they gave him, but they told him to just focus on being a good father.

"Abigail and Dylan?" He questioned.

"Yeah," she shrugged her shoulders.

"The same Abigail and Dylan that showed up to the baby shower high, and proceed to get drunk, because and I quote 'babies are so boring'. That Abigail and Dylan?"

"Come on James, they were just joking, plus baby showers aren't necessarily the most fun thing in the world," she rolled her eyes.

"Can we at least each choose one godparent?" He suggested, "You can have Abigail as the Godmother and I can choose The Godfather."

"Like Sam?"

"No, not Sam. Steve," Bucky tells her.

"Oh, then no," she simply said, turning her back to him to continue putting clothes away.

"What's your problem?" Bucky asks annoyed, finally having enough of her attitude, "This entire pregnancy you've been against everything I've suggested."

"Hey, you got to choose Brooklyn," she turned around pointing her finger at him.

"Yeah because I couldn't fucking afford Manhattan Natasha," he stressed, trying not to raise his voice at her, "You didn't want to know the gender of the baby? Fine. You get to name the baby? Fine. You choose the color scheme of the nursery, fine. You choose the hospital. You choose the apartment. God damn Nat, I haven't done a single thing but pay for everything."

"And I thank-you for that," she rolled her eyes.

"But you don't," he shakes his head in disbelief over her reactions, "You haven't thanked me once. I get that you're carrying our child, and I'm appreciative of that. But god damn Natasha, show me some respect. Show my family some respect!

"You didn't thank my mom, Rebecca, or Keith for everything they've done for you. For us. And I can't keep making up excuses to defend you," he raises his voice a little bit.

"If this relationship is ever going to work, you need to be respectful. You need to stop being so selfish. I get this isn't easy for you, but trust me, this isn't easy for me either. But I agreed to do this. I am stepping up. I want to be a part of my child's life. And I want us to be together and be family," he calms down, "But if you continue to act this way. I won't stay in this relationship."

"You're just going to abandon us?" Natasha asks grabbing her belly, suddenly realizing the reality of the situation.

"No, I won't abandon you both. But we won't be together," he explains, "I will always be in my child's life. I will always be there for them. I'm not going to put my child through the same thing I went through growing up. I promised myself I would never do that."

"So if that means that you and I break up, then so be it Natasha, I'll do it," he tells her, "My child will not grow up in a toxic household."

"Okay," she agrees, tears in her eyes, "I promise I will be better."

"Don't promise me Nat, just show me."

Two and a half weeks later Bucky found himself rushing an in-labor Natasha to the hospital, it was a quick k10 minute drive from their apartment. He quickly called his mom as the nurses wheeled Natasha away, with Bucky following.

Bucky's mom arrives within the next 10 minutes, as the nurses begin to prep Natasha in her hospital room.

Bucky sent a quick text to Steve and Sam, letting them know it was showtime and that he'll call them once the baby is here.

"How's Mama doing?" The doctor asked while entering the room, quickly taking her spot at the foot of the bed to examine Natasha.

"It hurts," Nat cried, as Bucky tried to soothe her.

"I know, but unfortunately you were too far dilated when you arrived, that it's too late for the epidural," the doctor softly explains, "But the good news is I feel Baby's head, so it's time to go."

Natasha looked over at Bucky, completely scared.

"It's okay," he assured her, "I'm right here. Everything's going to be okay."

He leaned down an placed a soft kiss to her lips, helping her relax a bit.

"Ready?" The doctor looks up at Natasha.

"Yes," Natasha nodded, grabbing a hold of Bucky and his mom's hands on either side of her.

10 minutes later, a soft cry was heard in the room. Bucky quickly glanced over to where the doctor was had finished pulling the baby out.

"Congrats Mommy and Daddy, it's a girl," she announced.

"A girl?" Bucky whispered in awe, tears filling his eyes. He looked over at Natasha, who looked a lot paler in color.

"Nat?" He called out for her.

Her eyes fluttered shut, her limbs went limp, and all the monitors started to go crazy.

The doctor quickly cut the umbilical chord and handed the baby off to an awaiting nurse.

"What's going on?" Bucky panicky asked.

"Get them out," the doctor told a nurse, ignoring Bucky's question.

A nurse quickly escorted Bucky and his mom out of the room.

"She's going to be okay right?" He asked his mom, tears streaming down his face.

"I don't know honey," she honestly said, wrapping her arms around her son. She never thought the first hug they shared after him becoming a father would be like this.

She continued to hold him, soothing him as she made silent prayers pleading for Natasha's safety.

10 minutes later. The same 10 minutes it took for them to arrive to the hospital. The same 10 minutes it took Natasha to bring their daughter into the world, the door opened.

Bucky quickly pulled apart from his mom to see the doctor walking out of the room.

The doctor's face was filled with sorrow. Bucky's mom immediately put her head down, already knowing the outcome.

"How is she?" Bucky asked.

"Mr. Barnes, Natasha had a postpartum hemorrhage, due to issues with her placenta," the doctor carefully explains, "Unfortunately, there was too much blood loss. We weren't able to save her. She died."

Bucky immediately broke down, his mom quickly caught him. The doctor placed a reassuring hand on his back.

He quickly pulled away after a couple of minutes, "The baby. How's the baby?"

"She's good. They took her to get checked just as a safety procedure," the doctor tells him, "She's on the pediatric floor. Would you like to meet her?"

"Yeah," he says, then pauses, "What about Natasha?"

"We can come get you to say goodbye once we get her cleaned," the doctor tells him.

"Okay, thank you," he says.

The doctor takes him and his mom to the pediatric floor. The walk was silent. No one knowing what to say. Bucky was no longer crying, but he felt numb the entire short walk. The doctor knocked quietly on a door, before opening.

"Doctor Monroe, this is Mr. Barnes, the baby's father," the doctor said, before stepping aside to let Bucky in, "Mr. Barnes, I'll have someone come get you when it's time."

"Okay, thank-you," he nodded his head.

"Are you ready to meet your daughter?" Doctor Monroe asked, Bucky nodded his head.

"Meet your Daddy baby girl," the doctor said, gently handing the baby over to Bucky.

Bucky looked down at the small baby in his arms. He was instantly overcome with so many different emotions. The doctor walked out of the room, while Bucky's mom watched from outside threw the window.

"Hi baby girl," he whispered, sniffling back his tears, "You're so beautiful. I'm your dad. And boy am I lucky that you chose me to be your Dad. I always imagined this day would've turned out a lot differently. But life sure knows how to throw some real curveballs."

"Your mom would've loved you," he paused, letting it all sink in. His daughter will have to grow up without a mother. No little girl should have to be without a mom.

"I'm so sorry," he cried, as the baby was lulled to sleep, "I am so sorry your mom won't be able to physically be here. I am so sorry you'll have to grow up without her. No one should have to grow up without a parent. And trust me, I know what that's like. But lucky for us, I had the greatest pleasure of being raised by the most strongest and kindest mother. She taught me everything I know. Your grandma is the best lady you will ever meet. Lucky for us because god knows we're going to be needing her a lot.

"But you and I are incredibly fortunate that we won't ever be alone. We have so many people who care about us. You'll have all the female leadership you can ever need. We can do this," he strongly said to the sleeping baby, "You and I. We can do this. And I promise you this, that no matter what happens, you will always have me. You're stuck with me for the rest of your life. My love for you is greater than anything, anyone I've ever loved. My love for you will always be easy and unconditional. You'll never have to prove your worth to me. You're worth more to me than you can ever possibly imagine. I love you."

Bucky placed a soft kiss to his daughter's forehead. The first kiss he will ever give her, but definitely not the last.

There was a soft knock at the door, he gently called for the person to come in.

His mom quietly opened and closed the door behind her, stepping to her son's side.

"She's beautiful," she smiled down at the little baby.

"She really is," Bucky beamed. He looked over at his mom and noticed she was holding a clipboard, "What's that?"

"Birth certificate," she tells him, "One of the nurses gave it to me. They said there's no rush to fill it out. You have time."

"Here, I can do that," he said gently holding the baby out for her to take.

"Are you sure?" She asked, switching with him.

"Yeah, I have a name anyways."

"What is it?" She looked over at the name written down:

Poppy James Barnes.

[flashback]

After that talk Bucky had with Natasha, he noticed a serious change in her attitude. She was beginning to be more relaxed and more selfless. Bucky felt a tiny weight lifted off his shoulder. Hoping that these changes in her personality would stay.

"So what do you think about James for a boy?" Natasha asked one night, as she and Bucky made dinner together in their small kitchen.

"For a middle name?" He asked confused.

"No, his first name."

"Oh," he paused, "I actually have never liked the idea of giving a child their parents' name. I feel like it doesn't really give them a chance to be their own person. If their parent is successful then they feel the stress of always having to live up to that. And if their parent is crap then they're forever stuck with that reminder of that person."

"That makes sense," she agreed, understanding where he was coming from,

"Then how about James for the middle name. Whether it's a boy or girl."

"I would actually really like that," he smiled at her, "I would like that a lot."

They gathered up their own plates, and sat at their small round table.

"So what other names have you come up with?" Bucky asked her as he took a bite of his chicken.

"Truthfully, I haven't found any good names. All the girls keep making suggestions and they're way too out there," she tells him, "I don't want them to have a name that's too hard to pronounce or spell."

Natasha's phone started to ring, Bucky got up to grab it for her from the living room. By the time he handed it over to her it stopped ringing.

"What kind of flower is that?" He asked her, noticing her phone's Lock Screen background.

"The California Poppy," she tells him.

"Why do you have that as your background?"

"Well my mom was actually from California," she says, "She met my Dad when they both went to Harvard. They fell in love, so she decided to stay out here on the East Coast.

"The only clear memory I have from her was all the stories she used to tell me about poppy season. How the color just made everything so lively. Her parents would take her every season. I remember seeing all the photos of her as a child surrounded by all the flowers. We looked a like as children," she fondly smiled,

"She always talked about taking me to go see them, but she and Dad were always so busy. Then she got sick and there just wasn't a way for us to go. My grandparents tried to get some out here but it was too late. I never did get to see the poppies."

Natasha was silent for a moment, letting what she said sink in. She's never told anyone that story before, the memory would always make her sad. But now sitting here with Bucky, pregnant with their child, for the first time in her life her mother's death didn't bring her such sadness. She could smile at the memory and know she had the utmost best time with her mother, even if it was short lived, she knew her mother loved her. And she can't wait to shower that love onto the baby inside of her, once they were out.

"We should go," Bucky says, "Once the baby is here we should go when it's poppy season. Plus it'd be nice seeing Steve and Liz's life out west."

"Yeah, that sounds nice," her eyes teared up, seeing how generous this man was in front of her, "I'd really love that."

"Poppy, that's cute," Winifred smiled.

"Yeah, Nat would've loved it."

"They said if you were ready, you can say your goodbyes," she carefully said.

"Okay, you're good with her?"

"Yeah. Do you want me to go with you? The nurses can watch Poppy."

"No. I'd feel much better if she was with family," he tells her, "I'll be fine mom. I can do this."

He gave her a kiss on the cheek before leaving the room.

"Take all the time you need," the nurse told Bucky, as she led him to the room Natasha's body was in.

"Thank you," he quietly said.

She opened the door for him, and he carefully stepped inside.

He walked closer to the body on the bed. He immediately started crying at the sight of her lifeless body.

"God Nat," he cried, "I am so sorry. We never even discussed the possibility of this ever happening. I never even thought of this happening. God I don't know how I am going to ever do this alone. I never imagined myself ever raising a child alone."

He takes a moment to catch his breath.

"She's beautiful Nat, so incredibly beautiful," he tells her, "I wish you would've been able to see her. Hold her. I'm going to make sure she knows everything about you. There's not going to be a day where she doesn't know about her mother."

"When poppy season arrives I'm going to make sure to take her. Every year," he wipes away a tear, "Oh, I also named her Poppy. For you. For your mom. I promise I won't let you down. She's going to have the best life ever. I'll make sure of that. Thank-you for everything you've given me. I truly did love you. Goodbye Natasha." _________________ Age: 22

Location: CA

Year: May 2016

The car comes to a stop, parking in a spot next to a bunch of other cars. Bucky, Liz, and Steve get out of the car. Steve and Liz grab a few things from the trunk, while Bucky gets the smiley baby out of the car seat. Bucky places the baby into the stroller, Steve had gotten out. The three of them began to walk towards the field of poppies.

"Wow, there's a lot this year," Liz says, "Do you want to take her out?"

"Yeah, I'll grab her," Bucky says grabbing Poppy.

He walked ahead of Liz and Steve, taking in the moment with his daughter.

"Look at all the poppies," he whispers to the almost eight month old. She had a huge smile on her face taking in the sight around her.

She was making some babbling sounds, as if to agree with her dad.

The weather was perfect. The sun shining down on them, it wasn't too hot or too cold. Bucky just stared at the flowers, with a peaceful feeling washing over him. The last few months haven't been the easiest, but he was making it. They both were making it. Being here, gave him the reassurance that he was doing good. He could feel Natasha's presence with him there. As if she was silently saying how proud she was of him.

"We're going to be fine," he said to Poppy, placing a kiss on her head.

#folklore #epiphany folklore #folklore song series #steve rogers fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x natasha #bucky barnes x natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff fanfiction #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #original character series #steve rogers x original female character #steve rogers x original character #bucky angst #angst #fluff #bucky fluff #bucky barnes #modern au #modern day au #bucky barnes modern au #bucky barnes modern day au #bucky barnes modern day #avengers modern day au #folklore taylor swift #epiphany

[adhdeancas]

Dean Winchester (and the script leaks last night) possessed me to write this.

Dean happens upon Chuck's latest book: Carry On. Except it ends differently than it really went, and the ending? It's really fucking bad.

tw: suicide mention, transphobia (quickly shut the fuck down) 

Dean doesn’t make a habit of going to bookstores. Not because he hates books, contrary to what Sam might think; he just prefers to buy used books. There’s something comforting about a book that has already been worn and read over and over, that already shows how much the previous owner loved it. Plus, y’know, big corporations are evil and all that. And Dean only allows himself to overlook that when his stomach or his wallet wins over his hatred of the shitty mass-produced products. 

This time it was Jack who won; he’s obsessed with this new fantasy series and the new book just came out, so there’s no way he can hunt it down on Ebay. He makes his way to the fantasy and sci-fi section, eyes roaming over the displays of new releases, and his eye catches on something that turns his blood cold. 

“Supernatural: Carry On, The Final Book of the Winchesters’ Epic Journey” takes up a whole table, the generic and overly serious cover jeering out at him. 

He storms over to the display, anger covering up for the way his body feels light as a feather and like lead all at once, and picks up a book. “Why is Sam always fucking shirtless?” he mutters, the only thought that allows itself from the mess inside his head to his mouth. 

“Book sales.” A voice behind him says. He turns to see a teenager with their arms crossed over their work polo, pierced lip fixed into a customer-unfriendly frown.

“People want to see that?”

They snort, a small grin turning up the corner of their lips. It reminds Dean of Cas. “No. But that’s what advertisers think all ‘women’ want,” They use air quotes. 

He raises an eyebrow and asks. “Women?”

They shrug and uncross their arms, leaning back against the display table behind them. Their nametag says Jadyn. “Supernatural’s biggest block of readers is queer. I’d go out on a limb and say a lot of those the marketers think of as ‘women’ aren’t, or if they are, they aren’t itching to see Sam’s six pack.” Jadyn smirks. 

Dean takes a second to digest that, then grins down at the book, thinking past Sam’s apparently badly-received nudity now. “So how’d they like it?” he asks, waving the book a bit and looking up at Jadyn. Apparently they know a lot about the fans of the books, and for once, he’s proud of the way the story ended. 

Jadyn’s face sets into all hard lines. “Most people fucking hated it.” they say bluntly, then, probably remembering that he’s a customer, correct. “Sorry. I mean, it got some good reviews, mostly from people who like Wincest, but beyond that, it had some problematic plot points.”

Dean winces at the reminder of the ship between him and his brother, then scrunches his whole face together in confusion. “Wait, what? Why?” Why would Wincest fans like it? What was problematic about their end?

Jadyn shifts from foot to foot. “I don’t wanna spoil anything for you-”

“I don’t care about spoilers, just give me the short version.” Dean says quickly. A quiet panic is rising in him, and suddenly he has a horrible feeling that he’s not holding the truth in his hands anymore. 

“Uh, okay… Well, the most obvious thing is the bury-your-gays thing, then there’s the fact that it completely contradicted the rest of the lore. And it was ableist, misogynistic, and messed up, like, every character’s arc.” they take a breath, clearly worked up by it. “Even if they changed any of the details too, it was all built on Dean’s death, and that’s just bullshit. Sorry.” they apologize again, apparently mistaking Dean’s stricken expression to be in reaction to their rant and swearing. 

“No, nah, you’re… you’re okay. Uh, thanks.” he waves a hand and wanders away from them, only remembering Jack’s book when he’s almost to the register. He manages to make his way back and find the damn thing, but he’s still in a fog when he gets to the register. 

“Did anyone help you in the store today?”

“Huh?” he looks up and meets the middle-aged cashier’s gaze for the first time. Brent, from the nametag, looks at him impatiently. “Oh, yeah, uh… Jadyn. Jadyn helped me.” Brent scoffs and starts typing with a shake of the head. “Uh, is there a problem?” Dean asks, a little annoyed at this cashier’s unnecessary attitude. He usually doesn’t care if an employee’s rude, because they have to deal with assholes all the time and honestly Dean isn’t much better, but this one gives him a bad feeling. 

“No, no, sorry. It’s just - “Jadyn’s” got this idea that he’s a girl. Makes everybody call him that name now too. Just-” Brent shakes his head. “I mean, you get it. Their generation, everybody wants to be special.”

Dean glares. “No, I don’t get it, Brent.” He says through gritted teeth. “Seems to me like Jadyn probably deals with enough assholes like you that her asking for a little basic decency is the exact opposite of special. Sounds pretty normal, actually.” He can see the fear creep into Brent’s eyes, and he knows the cashier is reacting to the murderous look in his eyes more than his actual words. 

Brent hands Dean his bag of books with a quiet, “Here you go.”

Dean snatches it away. “Oh, Brent?” he checks over his shoulder to make sure they’re alone and then leans across the counter into Brent’s space. “You should find a new job, one where you don’t have to interact with other people. At least until you learn how to stop being a piece of shit.” He starts to ease away but thinks better about it. “And if you think that’s a suggestion, it’s not. My husband likes this book coming out next month that I’ll need to buy, and if I see you here when I come, well… it would be really embarrassing for you to tell all your little friends that you got your ass beat by a ‘special’ guy, huh?” He pats Brent on the cheek condescendingly and leaves with a huff. 

Damn transphobes. 

He only remembers the book once he’s back in Baby, and he takes the time to drive out of town before he pulls over to read it. It’s an old abandoned church, the cross long since fallen from the roof and the doors hanging off their hinges. He sits on the steps just because being in Baby seems claustrophobic for once in his life, and going back to the bunker to look at this is just… not happening.

Dean only skims the beginning to see that it starts the same. The ground erupting with bodies, hell spitting out its most-conveniently placed nasties, Rowena sacrificing herself, Cas leaving. His throat closes up at that, at Chuck’s description of Cas’s heartbroken expression as he climbs the stairs of the bunker. He clears his throat and skips to the end, right past Cas’s death that he doesn’t have the time to think about right now, past them defeating Chuck and then stops. He goes back a few pages, trying to find the disconnect. 

The story’s different.

After Jack takes on God’s power, in the book, he’s totally fine. Not almost vibrating out of his skin or anything, not crying like the three year old he is because he’s scared. Not like it really happened. He just smiles and leaves him and Sam, and they let him go. 

Dean scoffs, skimming over the story as it just gets more ridiculous. 

In the book, he doesn’t even try to save Cas. They barely even mention him. And they never mention Eileen, either. In fact, Dean notes disbelievingly, practically the only characters in the last few chapters are him and Sam. They’re hunting again.

“What, is Chuck trying to keep the series going?” he whispers to himself, anger flaring through him. They let Chuck live, and he decided to write obnoxious fanfiction about them? He’s gonna kill that shameless little fucker. For real, this time. He deserves it.

In the book, Sam and Dean torture some vampire mime, and they enjoy it. Dean cringes; this is really what Chuck thinks of them. Then they tussle with more vamps in a barn and- 

Dean’s brain stops working. He rereads the scene again and again. 

“There’s something in my… something in my back. It feels like it’s right through me.” 

Dean Winchester dies in a dirty barn, on a piece of freaking rebar. 

More than that, Dean realizes on his fourth read-through. This Dean? He tried to drag out his speech, Dean can tell by the way he pauses for fucking drama. He would never do that. He would never talk to Sam for fifteen hellish minutes when he could be trying. Trying to live, so he can actually get his life back on track, get his family back. No, he made that speech stalling. He made that speech so Sam wouldn’t try to save him. 

“You gotta admit, I had one helluva ride.” He was strangely calm.

Chuck made him kill himself.

Dean reads the rest of the book through blurry eyes, reading an ambiguous and nothing-ending, one where he’s somehow happy to be dead and driving around in heaven alone while Sam raises a kid into hunting and cries about Dean decades after he’s died. Eileen isn’t mentioned. Cas is mentioned once, and Bizzarro-Dean doesn’t even think about seeing him, apparently. The whole book ends with a hug between him and Sam, both dead. Both alone. 

Dean rips the ending up. He tears through the stupid paper covering and keeps ripping the pages up until they’re the size of confetti. His lower lip wobbles. He throws the whole thing against the side of the building, and it tumbles through the broken doorway and drops into a pile of dust and dirt. “That isn’t the fucking ending.” he grounds out, knocking his hand against the flimsy handrail. It gives a little under his fist and he kicks at it. “That isn’t the fucking ending!”

He’s having a panic attack. Again. He tries to take deep breaths, but they’re gulping, too big, they’re making him panic more. He scrambles back to Baby and grabs his phone, presses the first number on his favorites list and waits for him to answer on speaker phone.

“Hey Dean, what’s up?” Sam sounds like he’s been laughing. There are voices in the background, and Dean tries to convince himself one of them is Eileen. 

“Hey Sammy.” he chokes out, trying to sound normal. “You busy?”

There’s a pause, and then the sounds in the background. “Nah, Rowena’s just over.” he says casually. 

“So those voices in the background were-”

“Rowena and Eileen, yeah. They’re trying to convince me we need to go to Mexico. For the beaches.” A smile in his voice. Dean lets out a sigh of relief.  What’s up, Dean? You need something?” The smile drops, and Sam’s worried. 

Sam’s okay. Sam’s okay. “No, nah. Hey, you heard from Donna lately?” Dean just needs to triple-check.

“Uh, no, not since Sunday dinner… Dean, you okay?”

“Yeah, she just- she hasn’t been answering my texts. Just wanted to make sure.” Dean lies quickly. His breathing is still uneven, but his body is settling into uneven shakes. 

Sam sounds skeptical. “Yeah, well, she did tell us it’s been pretty busy at work lately. Y’know, everybody going out for the first time with COVID, getting stupid. Plus, y’know, nowhere’s drowning in EMTs right now.”

“Right. Yeah.” Dean takes a deep breath, a distant memory of Donna talking about that coming back to him.

“Pretty sure you were setting up a D&D session with Charlie while she was talking about that,” Sam laughs. Dean knows he means it as a subtle jab, but there’s too much relief flooding through him to care. Still, a string is pulled taut in him, and Sam can’t fix that completely.

“Gotta go, Sam,” Dean hangs up before Sam can say anything else, and goes to his next contact. It rings for far too long, and Dean’s heartbeat picks back up to thundering.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Cas,” Dean breathes out. “Cas, you know I love you, right?” He needs to test all the bounds of this, to make sure, just to make sure. Make sure Chuck isn’t still fucking with him. Because apparently, Chuck won’t let him be queer. Not in his story. Not out loud.

He can hear Cas’s eyebrow raise through the phone, and his chest is overcome with stupid fondness. “I would be a little worried if you didn’t.”

Dean grins widely. “Like, romantically. I’m in love with you. Because you’re the love of my life and I’m bisexual.” He says it all like it’s a checklist, like he expects some cosmic being to slap a hand over his mouth before he gets each next phrase out.

“Yes, Dean. We’ve been married almost two months.” Cas is smiling. It happens everytime he talks about their wedding. Dean adores it. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, now it is.” His whole body relaxes, still vibrating with leftover panic, but satisfied. “I got Jack’s book.”

“Oh, good. He’ll be so pleased.” Cas pauses. “Dean, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Dean eases off the ground and sends a last look at the dilapidated church before climbing into Baby. “Just- read a bad book. I’ll tell you about it later. When I get home.”

#i fixed it #god fucking damn it #dean winchester #destiel #saileen #saileena #sam winchester #castiel #eileen leahy #castiel winchester #jack kline #roweena #my writing #ficlet #deancas #trans dean #trans woman OC #tw: transphobia #tw: suicide mention

[argylemnwrites]

First Noel

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)

Book: The Royal Romance (It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment universe, set around Chapter 21 of that story)

Word Count: ~1800

Rating: R (language, as always)

Summary: As their first Christmas together approaches, Drake and Riley find yet another element of their backgrounds they share.

Author’s Note: Not me posting a Christmas fic after the holiday, hahaha. The truth is that I am trying to get back into the swing of writing, and since I have painfully neglected Why Are We Still Waiting? I wanted to write something in that universe (I haven’t forgotten about that sequel, I swear... if anyone else still cares about that fic, hahaha). The whole discussion of “Walker Christmas” is something that actually really resonated with me during The Royal Holiday. As someone who has needed to work many Christmases, my family would often pick a different day to celebrate to accommodate my schedule, so the Walkers celebrating after the official holiday really rang true to me. So, in the ICWAM universe, this is how Riley leans about that tradition (and posting it after the holiday was totally on purpose *cough cough*)

Riley knew she’d fucked up. There was no point pretending that she hadn’t. The bad part was that she couldn’t really fix it. She was stuck. She was going to have to tell Drake, and she was absolutely dreading it.

Since he’d come back from Cordonia, things had been good between them. Really good, actually. They really hadn’t had any fights or spats or disagreements even. They had both been trying to be open and supportive and it was working. But now, that was all going to change and it was all her fault.

She’d reflexively agreed to work Christmas without really thinking about it. When Cam had asked for volunteers, she’d thrown her name out there instantly. It had always been her habit, having never had anyone to celebrate with and knowing that the odds of getting generous tippers on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were way higher than your average night. In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time she hadn’t worked on Christmas.

Except this year, she actually had someone to celebrate with, and she hadn’t really thought about that fact until about fifteen minutes after she’d offered to pick up the holiday. She would have felt like a selfish bitch to walk into the back office and tell Cam she actually wanted to retract her offer to work both days, subjecting all her coworkers to a lottery and being seen as a flake at best, a giant asshole at worst. So, she just kept working, letting a giant ball of fear and regret stew in her stomach, getting worse and worse as her shift inched along and she was closer to having to tell Drake what she had done.

He was going to be pissed at her. She just knew it, and he honestly had every right to be. This was his first Christmas not in Cordonia, as far as she knew. He really only knew her in the city, and… fuck, she’d promised him that they would celebrate Christmas together when he decided he wasn’t ready to go down to Texas to spend the holiday with his mother and aunt. God, she was such a shitty girlfriend.

When Drake popped into the bar a few minutes before the end of her shift, she forced a little smile, but it must have looked hollow, because Drake furrowed his brow and gave her a slight frown. Sure enough, as soon as she had clocked out, slipped on her coat, and headed out from the bar hand in hand with Drake, he zeroed in on her mood.

“Did something happen tonight?” he asked, twisting back to look towards the bar.

Riley just shook her head. “No, I just fucked up.” She kept staring ahead, her boots crunching over the salt on the sidewalk, but she could feel Drake staring at her. He was obviously waiting for her to elaborate. She didn’t want to have to confess, to ruin their little bubble of peace and happiness, but she knew she needed to be honest and get it over with. So, she let out a little sigh before soldiering on. “I told Cam I could work on Christmas.”

Drake was silent for a second or two before he asked, “Eve or day?”

“Both.”

His silence stretched on a few moments longer before his response to that. “Oh,” was all he said. He kept his hand locked in hers, but Riley noticed him slow down his pace just slightly. She felt like absolute trash.

“I’m so sorry, Drake. I just wasn’t thinking. I’ve worked so many Christmases in a row that I think I just volunteered out of habit.”

“It’s fine, Liu.”

“No, it’s not. I was mad thoughtless. I totally get if you’re pissed at me.”

“I’m not pissed at you.”

Riley stopped at that, tugging Drake to a halt as well and pulling him around to face her directly. “Drake, come on. I fucked up.”

He gave her a little shrug and shook his head. “It’s not a big deal. I spent the last couple of Christmases in a bar anyway. At least you’ll be there too this year.”

“You spent your last Christmases in a bar?”

Drake ran his free hand through his hair as he shrugged again. “Well… yeah? Liam always had royal duties on the actual holiday, and after Savannah left, it’s not like I had anyone else to celebrate with or anything.”

Hearing how his most recent Christmases had been spent, Riley found herself feeling even shittier somehow. He finally had a chance at a festive and happy celebration, and she had ruined it. Her expression must have shifted enough to show some pity, because Drake shook his head. “Come on, it wasn’t so bad. Besides, you were the one who just said she was forced to work a bunch of Christmases in a row. That’s way worse than just grabbing a few drinks at a bar and calling it a night.”

“I didn’t have to work; I always offered.”

“You what?”

“I always volunteered if my managers asked, and if they didn’t, I switched with coworkers who had kids or families.”

“Tips that good on Christmas?”

“I mean, I usually got a customer or two that left a lot due to ‘holiday spirit’ or some shit, but it was more that I didn’t have anything better to do.” Riley kicked the toe of her boot against the sidewalk, her eyes pulling away from Drake’s gaze. She was trying to be better about acknowledging the painful parts of her past she would rather forget, but she still didn’t really like to talk about things like this. It tended to dredge up a slew of memories that she’d worked hard to put behind her.

“Liu… Riley,” Drake said, the switch to her first name prompting her to glance back up from her feet to his face. “When was the last time you had anyone to celebrate Christmas with?”

She bit her lip and let out a sigh. She knew that it wasn’t fair that Drake opened up to her about his past quite a bit while she still kept a lot of things to herself, but that didn’t make these things easy to talk about. “When I was 17. I was with the Andersons during one of my mom’s last prison stints before I aged out of the system. They were excited to finally get a chance to be foster moms since New York finally recognized their marriage from Vermont, so they kind of made it a big deal. I was so closed off by that point, though, that I didn’t really appreciate it.”

Drake just looked at her for a few moments before he tugged her into a hug, wrapping his arms around her back as he held her tight to his chest. “Why do you let me whine about my past when you had things so much worse?” he mumbled into her hair.

She let out a sigh, returning his hug as she hooked her arms around him. “It’s not a competition, Drake. It’s not like either of us had that cheesy Norman Rockwell holiday experience.”

He didn’t say anything else, just ran his hand along her spine. After a few moments, they stepped apart, hands locking back together as they continued along back to their apartment. 

“You know,” Drake said, “back when I was growing up, my dad worked every Christmas.”

Based on his tone, Riley knew he was trying to make her feel better about the fact that she’d agreed to work the holiday, but it honestly made things worse. Not only were his recent Christmases crappy, but so were his childhood ones, apparently. “God, I’m so sorry. If I had known you had a history of having people work on the-”

“No, that wasn’t my point!” he interrupted. “We made the 26th ‘Walker Christmas’ and we did the whole celebration then. Gifts, big meal, holiday movies, all of it. It was really fun and special. Even after he died and we could have just celebrated on the actual holiday, Savannah and I kept the tradition alive for a long time.”

“Really?”

“Yup. As we got older, Sav usually got us invited to some sort of fancy Christmas party with some of the nobles on the 24th or 25th, but the 26th just stayed our family day. I always loved that it was our tradition to celebrate then.”

She glanced over at him, wondering not for the first time how she had managed to find someone like him. Someone who didn’t seem fazed or flustered by any of her baggage, who somehow showed he cared without making it seem like a big deal. Maybe it was because they had enough similarities in their pasts that he “got it,” but that honestly seemed like it was selling him short. Because it went deeper than shared mommy issues and fears of abandonment. The way he treated her felt like so much more than similar traumas, and she sometimes didn’t know how to respond, so caught off guard by a level of compassion and understanding she would have never thought possible.

“You’re too nice to me,” she finally settled on, watching as Drake’s cheeks grew pinker than they had been from just the winter wind.

He shook his head. “Nah, it’s really nothing, Liu.”

She knew that wasn’t true, but she didn’t push him. She knew he wanted to just move forward and not make a big deal of things. So she stepped closer to him, bumping him with her shoulder as she gave his hand a squeeze. “So, what do we need to do to make it a true Walker Christmas?”

“Not let you anywhere near the oven to start.”

She elbowed him and shook her head as Drake chuckled. “I am not that bad of a cook.”

“Uh huh. Sure, Liu. How many times have you made gingerbread?” She just scowled at him, prompting him to laugh again. “Exactly. So I’ll take care of the cooking and baking.”

All Riley could do was roll her eyes as they kept walking along the sidewalk. “I don’t really have any decorations,” she said, “And I don’t think we’ll exactly have space for a tree.”

“Ehh, I bet we can still make it festive. It’ll be good, Liu.”

His steadiness and willingness to just roll with her screw up and make the best of it had made her a little emotional. She didn’t quite understand why someone like him had been treated like shit by so many people in his life, but all she could really do was be grateful that their paths had crossed. “You sure you’re okay with celebrating late?” she asked as they reached their building, dropping his hand to find her keys in her purse.

“Christmas isn’t really about a day on the calendar,” he said with a shrug, following her into the lobby.

She spun and kissed him lightly before starting up the stairs. “Thank you, Drake.”

“Of course, Liu. Of course.”

Perma: @walkerswhiskeygirl @octobereighth @kimmiedoo5 @mom2000aggie

TRR/TRH: @iaminlovewithtrr @mskaneko @axwalker @jovialyouthmusic @marshmallowsandfire @kingliam2019 @sirbeepsalot @texaskitten30 @princessleac1 @ladyangel70 @debramcg1106 @masterofbluff  @sarahx206

Drake/MC: @no-one-u-know  @iplaydrake

ICWAM: @thequeenchoices @sunnyxdazed @sammie0220​

#drake walker #drake x mc #trr au #trr au fanfic #trr fanfic

[whumperfly-chaser]

Maurice- Ch 2 | A realization

Don't you just hate it when you find out your tenant has been secretly using his home to host and torture someone for his own sick pleasure? Simply the worst way to start an afternoon.

T/W's here: (Emeto, dirty home, rotting foods and other bits, abandoned setting, infestation) (Lmk what else to tag!)

It would’ve been a pleasant afternoon, drizzling slightly on clean sidewalks and an overgrown lawn, children in raincoats playing in the neighboring yards, and birds singing happily under the shower. It would’ve been a pleasant afternoon, but not for Denice or Martin. No… Not for them in the slightest. Denice tightens her grip around the umbrella handle as she listens faintly to Martin’s complaints.

Prev- Next

“I’m telling you Denice, you’ve got to stop thinking that Roger was up to this shit. Sure, he was a little off sometimes, but he paid the rent just fine.”

“And I’m telling you that I heard something in here. I could’ve sworn I heard a scream when I was walking by. That’s no dog, Martin. It sounded human and scared and I-“

“And you what, Denice?” Denice looked at him with a sort of restlessness, every once in a while she gazed at the innocuous exterior. This house used to be hers. It used to feel nice to walk by and it used to feel safe. But now… all it gives her is a sense of dread.

“Are you really going to break into a tenant’s home just to investigate a random shout you heard? That could literally be anything!”

She crosses her arms. “I know what I heard, Mart. And it’s not his home anymore; he’s dead.”

Martin groans, dragging his hands down his face, releasing it with a snap. “Denice, you’re being unreasonable. The guy could’ve had a kid over-“

“He has no kids. And he mentioned it when signing the lease, too.”

“Like hell you remember when he signed that lease.”

“Steel. Trap. Memory. He said, and I quote; ‘I know this neighborhood is real quiet, so don’t worry, I never have anyone over, it’s just me in here.’ End quote.”

Martin rolls his eyes. “He could’ve been watching a movie-“

“That was no movie. It was guttural- and- and real.” Denice shudders, hugging herself as she takes another longing look at the house.

“It could’ve just been him yelling after a rough day-“

“The voice was too high compared to Roger’s.”

“It could’ve been coming from another house, or a person nearby.”

“It was coming from the house.”

Martin stares at her, half nonplussed and half exasperated. When Denice raises an eyebrow at him he simply looks away, staring at nothing in particular as he finds the words to say in response.

When he finally looks back at her, he’s no longer fully disbelieving her, but he’s definitely hesitant. “Look. You heard that noise weeks ago, Denice. Whatever it was, it isn’t there anymore. Plus, do really you think I’m going to go in there when our tenant might have been a psychopath with- people in his house?”

Denice almost glared, but instead she simply took to walk down the dirty stone path to the entryway.

“Denice- Denice, what in the absolute fuck are you doing?!”

“If you don’t want to go, fine. But voice or not, I still need to evaluate the condition of the house.”

“His family might still want his things-”

“He has none he’s close with. He signed his coworkers as references, too. Plus, I have the right to inspect.”

Denice opens the three locks in the front door like clockwork and swiftly opens the door to a dark and dusty apartment. It’s a fairly straightforward layout, with an L-shaped couch and some pillows, a plain carpet, and a coffee table in front of it. On the adjacent wall there’s a television on a shelved stand with some mildly off abstract paintings, strewn with messy strokes of black, blue and red paint. She glances at it for a second and finds herself looking away just as quickly.

Despite that, it was a normal-looking home, if not unsettling because of how abandoned it felt.

The smell is bad, but bearable as she turns on the lights. The furnished living room has a thin layer of untouched dust coating it, as though it finally had time to settle. It’s as she enters the kitchen that the putrid smell hinted at before hits full throttle. She swallows dryly and takes a step back, bumping into… someone’s chest…

Denice shrieks, struggling as a hand is placed on her shoulder-

“Shush! It’s me!” She snaps open her shut eyes and relaxes only slightly upon seeing Martin’s worried face looking back. He retreats his hand and takes two paces back himself, arms up in caution. “Sorry I grabbed you.”

“Oh-!” She heaves to herself, pressing a palm to her chest as if guiding her lungs to stretch further. “I-It’s okay, just don’t- don’t do that again, Mart.”

Martin nods, grimacing from the overall scent of the home. “I’m really sorry… Um.. I found these keys? They were on a keyring next to the door, but they don’t seem to belong to any of the locks.”

“Keep them for now. Maybe he changed some? We’ll have to check if he put a lock or three somewhere here.”

“Isn’t that against the lease?” he asks whilst putting the small wad of keys in his back pocket.

“I’ve got other things to worry about right now… But we’ll need to look through the whole house.”

Denice inspects the room. Kitchenware, some appliances- a toaster oven, a blender… A very… diverse knifeblock… She pulls out a knife, only to find that it seemed recently polished.

Martin notices her interest in them. “Maybe he was interested in keeping everything maintained. The rest of the house seems pretty neat.”

Denice glances at the oxidation creeping from one of the thinner knives and doesn’t touch it. “…Maybe.”

“Is it me, or is the smell coming in stronger from the refrigerator?” Martin asks, but seems hesitant to open it.

“There’s only one way to find out.”

Martin grimaces and looks away from the fridge as he pries it open. The lights snap on, revealing worms and maggots feasting on rotted food. One or two grown flies emerge from the indistinguishable piles of muck and escape the fridge as Martin slams the door shut. “SHIT!”

“The fridge wasn’t closed properly, I’m guessing…”

“You’re guessing? Shit’s a pigsty.”

“That’s what happens when food rots near the presence of flies, Mart.”

Martin gags. “No shit, Sherlock. Hell, did anybody even come in the house after he died?”

“I doubt it… Let’s just move on.”

“Let’s.” Replies Martin, looking through the cabinets. There were several lining the corners of the room, about twenty total; ten above and ten below. Unsurprisingly, a variety of spiders had long made their homes inside of the spaces from the absence of movement. The occasional pest would skitter between the raised boards, one of which being a cockroach large enough to garner a scream from the buxom woman. Martin was ever quick to kill it, slightly more composed than his counterpart.

“I don’t get why he’d have so little spices and so much salt.” Martin finally remarks, opening one of the upper cabinets.

“Maybe he likes pickling food?” Denice supplies, frowning at the dust layering the pots and pans below.

“I doubt it. His fridge would’ve been a lot more tolerable- and less… maggoty.” Martin shudders and proceeds.

Denice is opening yet another cabinet door when the realization finally hits her- She snaps back to a rather calm Martin, who was inspecting one of the bags. “Wait! Mart!”

Martin simply stared at her, nonplussed. “What?”

Denice stares back at him, then his hand. “Wait… didn’t you mention that salt burned you guys?”

Martin looks at the salt in question and chuckles softly, then pats the leaking paper bag. “Don’t worry, salt is only a big deal for obligate vamps.”

“Oh.”

“Yep. Plus I’m almost sure this is full of drugs.”

“It’s too granulated for that, Mart.”

“You never know.” Martin shrugged and placed it on the counter, continuing his run-through.

Why was she even doing this anymore? Did she really want to know what else was here?

…And yet, she finds herself opening the last cabinet regardless, surprised to see a different, smaller fridge inside it.

“…Mart, did we ever leave a mini-fridge here?”

“No? why would he own a separate fridge? Did he own snakes? a lizard of some kind?”

Denice cracks it open, shuddering at the sickening smell of iron and old blood, all in bloated vacuum-sealed bags, separating into clear, off-yellow plasma and coagulated chunks of dark rot. “He- he’s human, right?”

“Yeah? His ID would’ve specified if he were a supernatural.”

“Martin… Either he was a vampire, or he has enough blood to house one for no reason.”

“Blood? Wait-“ Martin ambles over to see it and retches at the sight, spitting into an overfilled trashcan nearby.

“Holy shit.“

“Martin- hey, it's okay man.” Denice rubs small circles on his back, and Martin coughs in his panic until it slowly died down. All is quiet between them, buzzing with unsaid questions.

"It's the smell that's killing me. It's wrong. Blood shouldn't be.." He straightens- realizing something until the last words finish his thought. "...wasted. Denice."

She perks at the call. "What?"

“You need a license to buy blood.” He silently mentions, the statement lingers in the air, weighter. His slitted pupils are wide and anxious.

Denice looks back at the minifridge, glancing at the almost rudimentary setup for storing the bags, compared to the professional handling she's seen with actual banks on the few times she accompanied Martin.

“I think-… I think this was his own. And you aren’t supposed to house vampires—even if you sign for them.” Denice feels her stomach lurch as she closes the door of the minifridge.

Martin looks at the blood with an apathetic sort of disgust, the bags having insulted his senses for the last time. “Will you please close the fridge already? The kitchen smells awful as it is.”

“Oh- Sorry. Let me just-“ She tries to close it normally, but it doesn’t really shut. A bit more pressure is applied, and even then the door bounces back open. One of the bags had clearly tilted out of shape when she opened it, but… Denice was not about to touch it more than she had to already.

She gives it a hearty shove.

There’s a squelch when it shuts, leaving a gush of sickly, yellow-tinted plasma to shoot and bead along the dirty linoleum flooring. Some clots of dark, runny sickness sputter and run down the fridge door

“…I burst one.” Denice gags while a strangled sound escapes Martin’s chest.

Martin heaves dryly, pressing a fist to his lips and an arm around his stomach as though it would stop him from vomiting altogether. They really should’ve placed a better window in the kitchen.

This could’ve been a nice afternoon.

“Den- Denice, I need to take a breather, yeah? or- or- I’ll definitely throw up. Let’s get to somewhere else- I can’t- I-”

“Y-Yeah… Let’s just get out and recuperate a little.”

Denice walked out of the kitchen with Martin following closely behind, his breaths stifled to try and limit the amount of bad air he inhaled.

But now Denice was even more unsure if she wanted to see what else lied in the house. Even with someone as strong as Martin beside her, she felt nervous. Uncertain.

Afraid.

Martin seemed to sense her worry and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “We can always leave. You don’t have to stay here and see whatever else was in here.”

Denice enjoys his touch a little longer, thinking on what to say in response. In truth, she did want to leave. She wanted to leave from the beginning. But seeing just what they found now… Well, the knowledge would only eat at her if she didn’t find a conclusion to this.

“…Let’s just see the rest of the place, and we’ll leave right away. Is that okay with you?” She says despite herself. Martin looks absolutely disinterested in continuing the search for the scream’s source, but sighs. “I’ll go.” The relief Denice feels at those two words is immense. “But only because I don’t want you to be in here by yourself.”

“Thank you Mart.” “Don’t mention it.” His tone is curt yet warm, and Denice opens the door to the staircase with a bit more confidence.

They walked up the pine stairs with little conversation- the smell noticeably got better as they left the kitchen area, until it was replaced entirely by the musty scent of dust and no air circulation. The other two bedrooms were normal; they were replaced with an office and storeroom, both of which had no outstanding features. In truth, besides the paintings, there was a very little amount of personality in his home décor.

The attic was a different story altogether.

Martin bumped his head for the third time on the attic’s ceiling when Denice had seen it- shackles. Chains. Restrains of all shapes and sizes. Whips, prods, pokers and knives. Tasers and Gags and ropes and belts and flails- and a bowl.

A bowl of water, next to a spray bottle. Martin touches it and recoils- hissing to himself as he stared at his now reddening hand.

His burned hand.

----

They stumble out of there, disconcerted and horrified as each of them try not to think too hard on their findings. The lawn door creaks and wanes on its rusty hinges until they both find a place to sit under a lawn table’s umbrella and chairs.

And so they sat, not quite talking but exchanging conversation through glances alone. Martin takes a deep, shuddering breath and holds his head in both hands while Denice hugs herself, desperately trying to make sense of it.

But no matter what, they couldn’t quite make sense of it. It could have easily been confirmation-bias, but every path seemed to lead back to her original theory, and they hated it.

Martin still looked unnerved, his grey-tinted features dark despite the sun peeking out on him. He tapped his fingers against the clouded glass and grimaced- rubbing his fingers together at the gritty feeling of muck layering the table. He takes a quick sip of his flask and grunts as his burnt hand slowly starts regrowing the tissue.

"...It was concentrated." He eventually says after noticing her worried glances. "Fuckin' liquid was probably saltier than the ocean. Could've been acid for all I know. "

Denice felt herself losing composure as well- an internal tremor echoed through her as her worries piled on. Further and further it pushed her will to continue looking. Yet the most she could do was retreat into a better space- a more optimistic section of her thoughts where the noise she heard was nothing more than a figment of her imagination.

She couldn’t imagine how Martin could feel about this- he was a vampire himself, and was now dealing with the possible reality of one of their tenants illegally hosting an unregistered vampire in his home. Torturing a vampire. Feeding it with his own blood to avoid getting into a registry.

She can't unthink it. She doesn't want it to be true, and yet she feels it's growing more real by the second.

She's rethinking every instance with the tenant, no longer a placid young man with a mild interest in the arts, but holding those pokers, those knives, those weapons, and using it on someone. On her. On Martin.

She desperately hoped for it to be a joke. A gag. Something unreal and unbelievable, as Martin had told her just an hour ago. But reality was setting in too quickly for fantasy to fill in the gaps, and now she had seen too much.

Martin was the first to speak.

“I’m calling the police.” It’s such a firm statement that it leaves Denice even more unsure. If they called the police, what would happen? Did they really expect something to make sense if they did? For some justice when they didn’t even know if the man did this? They would most certainly laugh. Laugh at them both for calling them over simply because they saw some odd things in his own home.

She remembers how each weapon had drying flecks of dark ichor lacing them and gags.

“…It's not going to be a good idea. There isn't much in terms of evidence.”

Martin glared at her momentarily, his gaze only softening upon seeing her distress. “We can show them what we found-“

“And then what?”

Martin looked away and at his hand, pensively staring at the mottling patchwork of repairs on his skin. “I don’t know.”

Denice unknit her brow. “Well… we still have one last room to search through. None of the keys fit the other doors. If we see something truly incriminating, we'll call.”

Martin flexed his now-healed hand and pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling forcibly as though trying to grasp his last strands of composure. Or savoring the fresh air while he still could.

“Fine, but I’m not going back there for longer than I have to, and neither are you. Comprendes?”

She nods, now set and resolute. Martin stood up and stretched, his joints popping until he heaved a breath and walked to follow his partner. The one place they hadn’t searched. The last room. The room they both dreaded entering.

The basement.

#might edit later #i dont know man im tired #denice and martin #they argue like an old married couple #whump #tw whump #vampire whump #martin is a vampire

[warsmith-38]

How I would do RWBY pt.4

World Travel Arc.

Season Four.

Cinder was found by Salem after fall of Beacon.

Missing arm and eye.

Salem helps her and even rewards her.

She accomplished her goal of shooting Ozpin with the arrow.

It didn’t take, sure, but that’s not Cinder’s fault.

Arm is replaced with grimm arm.

An eye was also offered but Cinder refused because she wants a visceral reminder of her failure.

Translation: Because chuunibyou.

Cinder spends her time training to compensate for and overcome her new disabilities.

Has massive grudge against Ruby.

What should have been two easy wins were stolen from her by sheer dumb luck and circumstance.

She has made it her goal to prove that she is more powerful than Ruby and will do so by tearing her heart out and turning it to ash.

Salem decides that Ruby will be an issue to her long term plans and sends her best assassin, Tyrian, to kill her instead of Cinder.

Just like Summer.

She doesn’t want to send Cinder on the grounds that she thinks that homegirl REALLY needs to chill.

Ruby is full murderhobo.

Killing grimm and taking whatever freelance bounty money she can on her way to Mistral.

Fuck if she knows what she’s going to do when she gets there but she hasn’t planned all that far ahead.

She just wanted to not be stuck at home again.

Finds JNR, who had volunteered for general assistance in the areas around Mistral.

JNR says that there’s both a grimm issue and a bandit issue in the area.

Ruby wants everything to do with it.

Blake is on her way back to Menagerie.

Encounters SSSN who are on light duties and are being sent to putz around in Menagerie.

Sun asks her ‘what the fuck is your plan?’

Blake says that the only place for her in the world is back home with her family.

Weiss is also back home with her family but is far less into the idea.

Dad is distant and detached.

Mother is drunk and miserable.

Winter is the only one she properly interacts with, training and sparring to keep herself in shape.

Winter offers a position in the military, a cushy one at that (Can I get an amen for nepotism?)

Weiss ignores the offer, is depressed, misses her friends.

Yang is stuck at home, also depressed, dealing with deepening abandonment issues, and constantly fiddling with the trinket Raven gave her.

Having Ruby run off only made things worse. Combining her abandonment issues with the feeling of letting her sister down when she needed her most.

Tai barely pays attention to her outside of his constant worrying about Ruby but eventually sees the trinket and tells Yang about Raven.

Is very clearly bitter about the whole thing but is pretending he isn’t.

VERY rose (ha) tinted glasses about Summer.

Not that she was secretly a piece of shit or anything, but to hear Tai talk about her she made saints look like goatfuckers.

Ironwood shows up and gives Yang robo-arm as an apology for saying he’d help her after the fight with Mercury and then letting her down.

Ironwood helps break Yang out of her funk, offers some military style counseling, helping her work off the muscle atrophy, even teaches her some spec-ops chokeholds and the like.

Yang says it’s nice to have an actual male role model/father figure in her life.

Ironwood rips Tai’s shit in for being such a bad parent to Yang.

Tai has no real counters to what Ironwood is saying.

He realizes that he’s been a neglectful asshole and starts helping retrain Yang too.

Weiss makes a scene at an event her father is putting on.

Jacques sits her down after it and says that they’re going to have a completely frank conversation.

Topic shifts to their viewpoints and life choices.

He’s fine with his daughter disagreeing with him, he just wants her to understand him and he her.

Weiss calls him out on the blatantly bad shit the SDC has done.

Jacques defends his points, saying that he tried to make things better for the faunus and the White Fang just made everything worse for everyone.

Weiss tells him that passing the buck is bullshit.

Agree to disagree.

Jacques gives her a spiel laced with double meanings about freedom and making your own path.

Weiss leaves that night. (keikaku doori (Translation: All according to keikaku (Translators note: Keikaku means plan)))

Jacques might be a dick but he does want his family to be as genuinely happy as he can make them.

Blake gets back home.

Gets royal reception on the grounds that she’s the daughter of the chief of the kingdom.

Sun sends SSN to get on with their mission, he’s gonna be a while, faunus business.

They understand, they’re hip to this sort of thing, and tell him that if he needs them they’re just a phone call away.

He calls Blake out for being one of the most privileged faunus alive while lecturing others on said topic.

Blake and Sun walk in on White Fang people trying to recruit Ghira.

Notices Blake in the process of telling them to leave.

Ghira shoves everyone out of his way to embrace his long believed dead daughter.

Emotional reunion.

Sees Sun, makes joke about ‘Adam’s cheerier replacement’.

Blake gets sad.

Ghira assumes Adam died or something and doesn’t press the matter.

Calls for a royal banquet to celebrate the return of his daughter.

Sienna is present.

Sienna is overjoyed to see Blake alive and well.

Blake is happy to see ‘aunty’ Sienna but is apprehensive to talk that much with Sun glaring at them both.

Ilia is there (as head of local White Fang cell) and is happy to see her old friend is alive.

She already knew but has to keep up appearances, especially after The White Fang was seen at Beacon.

Very poor publicity to be seen operating at a place like that.

Ilia had been reassigned to Menagerie before the fall happened so she’s not guilty of taking part.

Later has small meeting with Blake, Sienna, Ilia, Sun, Ghira, and Kali.

Sienna tries (again) to bring Ghira into the White Fang.

His joining would bring all of Menagerie and the connected resources into the conflict.

This is opposed by everyone else present barring Ilia.

Ghira says that he has washed his hands of the problems in Atlas and has local stuff that he believes is more important in the long run.

Supporting Wild Call is how he helps the rest of his people.

Kali’s been running Wild Call since Ghira stepped away to run Menagerie.

Sienna talks about how faunus are treated in certain parts of the world.

It really is nowhere near as bad as she says it is.

Blake brings up terrorist acts in places completely innocent of any faunus abuse.

Sienna ‘condemns’ these acts and blames them on ‘bad apples’ like Adam, citing the fall of Beacon.

Says that Adam was acting alone and without official endorsement.

She’s lying through her fucking teeth, but the only other one who knows that for sure is Ilia.

While taking part in the fall was technically unsanctioned, Sienna knows all about Salem and was okaying Adam’s efforts working with her.

Ilia suddenly feels very guilty for some odd reason.

Ghira is very confused, doesn’t keep up too much with world affairs, generally too busy.

Blake rounds on Sienna for trying to shift the blame to Adam, cites all of the bullshit attacks she was involved in, letting it be known that she herself was in the White Fang.

Ghira and Kali both become enraged at Sienna, who told them that Blake was killed years ago at a protest gone south.

Sienna tries to make excuses for the cause.

Is escorted with Ilia from the palace at gun point.

Kali and Blake reconnect as Ghira has a sit down with Sun, telling him to tell him everything he knows.

Weiss is stowed away on airship bound for Vacuo/Mistral (doesn’t really matter which, ship gets taken down either way).

Ship gets attacked by grimm and gets splashed.

Weiss makes it to shore and travels southward, realizing that maybe she should have planned this a little more than not at all.

Wonder who she picked that up from.

Ends up surrounded by bandits who see the pretty girl from Atlas who might just be worth a lot of cash.

Weiss kicks the shit out of them.

Raven shows up.

Weiss loses.

Yang decides enough of her sulking and gets ready to set off to find Ruby and either 1. Bring her home 2. Look after her and keep her safe on her personal quest 3. Kick her ass for running off and making everyone worried 4. Some combination of the above. (Maybe hit up where Raven’s map leads along the way if she gets the chance)

Tai acknowledges that he can’t always protect his girls.

Tells Yang to not be too hard on Ruby, realizing that she would never have been happy with a calm, sheltered, life.

Summer was the same way.

He also apologizes for neglecting Yang for as long as he did.

Yang gets a hug from Tai, a salute from Ironwood, and a slobbering from Zwei.

Yes, the dog is still here. He’s a good dog. Every story could use a good dog or twelve.

Gets to the continent that Mistral is on. (I do not care about the name)

Starts biking in the direction that the conflict zones are, hoping to find word about Ruby along the way.

Gets accosted by bandits along the way.

Kicks the crap out of them.

Raven shows up saying that she expected nothing less from her daughter.

Yang realizes that she is indeed around where the map was pointing her.

This was supposed to be a test to see if Yang was resourceful enough to track her down.

Didn’t really mean to come this way just yet, but sometimes things just work out that way.

Raven happily takes her daughter to the main camp.

Yang is apprehensive to get comfortable and seems a little disappointed that her mother is just some asshole bandit.

Raven gives her a speech all about survival of the fittest and might makes right and all that jazz.

Yang wants to know why she left her in the first place and why she is suddenly wanting to be back in her life after all this time.

She’s got a lot of questions and Raven has very few answers.

Raven avoids Yang’s questions and says that she’s always been watching her from behind the scenes.

Yang actually dislikes that even more because it means that she could have been there for her the whole time, yet wasn’t.

Raven continues by saying that if Yang’s so weak that she couldn’t beat a pissant like Neo then she really needs mama to teach her what’s what.

Offers Yang a position in the tribe and even offers to make her second in command.

Yang then sees Weiss in a cage.

Raven explains that she’s going to be given to Salem to use as a hostage in Atlas.

Yang had already given up on getting answers and was already going to tell Raven to eat shit but now...

Demolishes the camp, takes Weiss away on the bike, and leaves the trinket Raven gave her in the dirt.

Would have taken the time to kick the shit out of Raven, but she needed to get Weiss out of there.

Raven is livid.

In Menagerie, Ghira and Kali have very upfront conversation with Blake.

They are upset with her that she ran off with terrorists but are happy she’s alive.

They also admonish her for running/taking the easy way out of every problem she’s had.

Blake is exasperated that the last place she could run off to is calling her out for running off so much.

Adam is all like ‘what up bitches, imma kill ya’.

Has sizable team of White Fang commandos with him and some grimm Salem sent.

Ilia shows up with her own commandos to counter his.

Both sides duke it out with the Belladonnas (Nightshades technically) getting pissed and telling all of them to get off their lawn.

Blake fights Adam.

Starts losing.

Sun calls SSN in for the assist.

They help but not all that much.

Sienna shows up to break the stalemate.

Starts kicking the shit out of Adam’s posse.

Officially denounces and attaints Adam for his crimes.

Adam leaves and swears vengeance, telling Blake that if he can’t kill her, he’ll kill RWY and make sure they know it was her that sent him to them.

Blake finally learns her fucking lesson.

Start to pack up to stop Adam before he kills RWY and, either afterwards or in the process, find and reconcile with RWY.

Takes the time to actually explain why she’s leaving this time.

Ghira understands.

Sienna takes partial blame and offers Blake the last known location of a red hooded huntress with a big fucking scythe her spies found.

Blake thanks her, but refuses an escort, hitching a ride back to the mainland with SSSN.

Ghira and Kali thank Sienna for the help but still tell her to get the fuck out and that the White Fang and their war are both not welcome in Menagerie.

In the name of their past friendship, they don’t just shoot her.

Blake has parting conversation with Sun about justifications and personal growth.

She and Sun amicably part ways.

SSSN go back to their usual shit and Blake starts hunting for Ruby.

Her logic is that, as far as she knows, Weiss is surrounded with SDC security and Yang is probably somewhere safe-ish, while Ruby is actively in a dangerous locale and ripe for predation.

Speaking of…

Ruby and JNR are clearing out local grimm around Mistral as expected.

Include sad scene or two there they find the ruins of Nora’s home village, destroyed by bandits.

Tyrian is all like ‘what up bitches, imma kill ya’.

Ruby is actually very eager for a fight against one of the important bad guys.

That excitement is curbed when Tyrian lets her know that he was the one to kill Summer.

Ruby is now more scared than anything.

R+JNR fight him and get their asses handed to them.

They try running but Tyrian isn’t giving up the chase.

Turns into cat and mouse game.

Jaune is pushed to his tactical limit against an incredibly intelligent and just as unpredictable enemy.

Everyone is scared out of their minds.

The cat (Tyrian) is just playing with his food (R+JNR) at this point.

Could have killed them at any point but he’s a sadistic animal that gets off on this shit.

Nora flies into a fury, bellowing that she will never lose anyone close to her ever again.

This creates an opening in Tyrian’s style.

Jaune’s planning manages to exploit this enough so Ruby gets a good hit on him, severing his tail.

He is very unhappy at this development.

Decides that he’s done playing with his food.

Wrecks R+JNR.

About to kill Ruby when Qrow ex machina runs him off.

Jaune discovers his semblance is healing and uses it on everyone that needs it. Which is everyone.

Qrow is annoyed that Ruby ran off on her own but understands.

Says that there’s an abandoned chateau that can serve as a pit-stop.

Been in the Branwen family for ages.

They abandoned it after they lost their fortune and it got overrun with grimm in the past.

Grimm have since moved on but the building is still there.

He’ll explain everything he can when he knows they’re out of danger.

Raven contacts Salem and tells her which direction Yang and Weiss are going.

Salem barely cares about what one of her least important agents is up to.

Notices that Ruby is in the same area and gets wind that Tyrian failed.

Sends Cinder and company to meet up with Raven and get hunting.

Salem makes a point of ordering Cinder to let Tyrian take on Ruby and not get involved against her.

Cinder just happens to ignore that order.

Blake does a little extra tracking but heads in the right direction.

Yang and Weiss hear about a red hooded huntress with a big scythe and follow the rumors.

Everyone converges at the chateau at the same time.

It’s a very all over the place scene.

Ruby is happy to see Weiss and Blake but is a little wary of Yang after how their last conversation went.

Yang is eager to make things up with Ruby but more than a little scornful of Blake.

Blake is scared of everyone’s rejection but understands their anger and is more than willing to work through it if they’d have her.

Weiss is happy to see everyone but her happiness and excitement is curbed by how everyone else is reacting to each other.

The tension explodes when Cinder and co. arrive.

Ruby and Cinder lock eyes.

Ruby goes quiet for a moment-

And then goes completely Broly BERSERK!

Group of boss fights.

Ruby madly charges Cinder in a rage.

JNR, Qrow, and Weiss begin fighting Emerald, Mercury, Tyrian, and grimm they brought.

Blake fights Adam. (again)

Yang fights Raven, constantly calling her on her shit.

Abandoning her and Tai to be some asshole bandit, siding with Salem, being a coward, et cetera.

Says that she has figured out that the reason Raven left was because she’s just a chicken shit coward who can’t deal with the world.

All of her issues and traumas have manifested into a sort of nirvana of wrath that gives her a one-time, ‘fuck you, mom’, power up that puts her at Raven’s power tier level.

Ruby vs Cinder takes them away from the others.

Ruby is in berserk, adrenaline filled, wrath fueled, fugue state, taking hits that should be stopping the fight but aren’t.

Cinder is also not fighting at her best due to A. missing eye, B. her grimm arm having a built in weakness to Ruby, and C. the fact that she had no idea that Ruby would go fucking mental like this.

Ruby eventually knocks Cinder down a pit and promptly passes out from blood loss.

Blake beats Adam and tells him to fuck off, saying that she will not stoop to his level of murder.

Yang overpowers and beats Raven, but barely.

JNR is busy with the grimm and Qrow is busy with Tyrian, who has a freaky grimm tail now.

Weiss is fighting both Emerald and Mercury.

Is losing pretty hard.

Yang shows up to fight Mercury.

WY have their first proper rival fights against E+M.

And proceed to lose.

Raven has heel-face turn and bails them out.

Tyrian is killed at the same time. Small justice for Summer.

Qrow reunites with Raven.

The Branwen siblings intimidate E+M, faking not being fuckoff exhausted.

Dare they stand against this deadly alliance?

Nope.

Emerald and Mercury cheese it.

Raven explains that since Yang beat her, Yang is now in charge of the bandits.

Raven says how proud she is that her daughter is such an ass kicker.

Yang is about to tell her off but then realizes that Ruby is still gone.

They find her in a widening pool of her own blood.

Jaune heals her.

Everyone wonder just what the fuck that was that Ruby did.

It’s not its own power or a sub-power of her new semblance.

She was just that fucking angry at seeing Cinder.

RWBY has a big ‘we beat the middle to high tier bad guys’ group hug.

Ruby affirms that she senses that Cinder is still alive but accepts the hug anyway.

Raven says that Salem’s next target is Mistral itself with Adam’s White Fang hardliners.

Yang says thanks for the info and then tells her to do what she does best and fuck off.

Literally everyone mirrors the sentiment.

Raven leaves in a huff but starts to question her morals.

RWBY is now reunited as a team.

They’re not quite back to normal, but they’re all together again.

Reunited RWBY, JNR, and Qrow now on course to Mistral proper to recoup and make new plans.

Season four done.

#RWBY #does this count as rwde? #Ruby Rose #Weiss Schnee #Blake Belladonna #Yang Xiao Long #Taiyang Xiao Long #Raven Branwen #Cinder Fall #Tyrian Callows #Salem #Team JNPR #but without the P #I regret nothing #Qrow Branwen #How I would do...

[jawritter]

The Arrangement

Part 12

Summery: You are a young girl that was raised in a small church in Dallas, TX. One of the only churches left in the state that still practices arranged marriages. When your betrothed ran off to California you thought you'd escape the fate you were trained for ever since a small child. Now upon the death your parents your fate seemed to be inescapable as he's returned, and is ready to take you as his bride.

Book Warnings: Arranged marriage, loss of virginity, smut, unprotected sex, angst, language, suicide attempt, battles with anxiety, struggles with mental illness, age gap (about 11 years), I think that’s it, chapters will have warnings of their own!

Chapter Warnings: Heavy trigger warning!!! Suicide attempt!! Angst, caught in your own head, feelings of abandoment, depression, grief, this one is rough guys.

Word Count: 2377

A/N: This book is a book about Christian and church based arranged marriages, I would like to take this moment to say that I DO NOT have ANYTHING against the Chirstian faith, and mean absolutely no harm to anyone! Especially Jensen’s family! This is a complete work of fiction, and should be treated as such!

Beta’d by the amazing @deanwanddamons who was awesome enough to do all this for me! It was a lot of work, and she deserves all the praise for it!!

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Want More? Check Out My Masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***SERIES MASTERLIST***

It had been three days since your fight with Jensen. 

When he slammed the bedroom door after you had slapped him, he got his keys, walked out the door, and did not come back. 

You didn't know where he'd gone.You didn't try to contact him . If the truth were told, you hadn't really moved from your spot in your now cold, and very lonely bed, unless absolutely necessary. 

The air around you hung in a deafening silence . Who the hell knew silence could be so loud?

You didn't bother turning on theTV.You hadn't bothered to eat, and only drank a little bit of water. You’dsurvive, it just wasn’t there anymore. 

You were too big of a coward to take your own life, though the thought had crossed your mind. 

If you were dead, Jensen wouldn't have to be burdened with you anymore. He could go back to what he wanted to do. Not like there would be anyone around to miss you anyway. 

Still, you were too big of a coward to 'pull the trigger'. So you just laid there, and prayed for death to find you on it's own. Prayed that you'd drift off to sleep, and never wake up again.

It didn't happen. 

Every morning you woke up to a fresh, and even deeper pain; and the realization that Jensen probably wasn't coming home.

Sitting up on the side of the bed, you stared around the room. It was so cold, but you didn't care. It matched how you felt on the inside. You had cried until you didn't have any tears left to cry. Until everything in and around you felt numb.

In most homes, you would walk through the house and see pictures of your wedding day, family, friends; even your parents' home had all those things. 

This place had none of that for you and Jensen. 

You would see kids toys scattered around in some homes. You and Jensen had no children together, and Danneel had  three of his. 

This house felt 'lived in'. All your things were there, along with his, but even though it was lived in, it wasn't a home.

It didn't hold the feeling of home the way your parents house had. There were no memories of times with friends, no family dinners, or holidays, nothing.

You had fooled yourself into thinking this marriage with Jensen was a real marriage. Was even  stupid enough to let yourself fall in love with him. 

Now you were staring reality straight in the face. You had nothing together. You just shared a bed and had sex on occasion. 

Getting out of bed, you dragged your way to the bathroom. Standing in front of the sink, you stared at the mirror. You didn't  recognize the woman that stood there, staring back at you. 

Her eyes almost looked sunk into her skull. She was pale, almost a chalk white color. Her eyes were red and swollen around the eyelids. Her lips were cracked and had been bleeding, probably from lack of food or water. Her hair was an absolute mess. 

She looked like a dead person that was to stupid to know they had died. So they were still standing there.

That's what you felt like. You felt like you had died, you weren't really there. You were living, but you weren't alive.

You died the moment he walked out of the door.

Every time you closed your eyes you saw the look on Jensen's face after you had slapped him. Before the guilt could really grip you, the picture of Danneel and him locked at the mouth would flash before your mind, and shot down the guilt.

For a moment anyway.

The eternal war continued to rage on inside of you as you made your way back to the bed, pulling the cold sheets back and crawling in. You closed your eyes and begged whatever God was listening, cause at this point you weren't even sure there was one, to just let you die this time. You couldn't handle another day like this. Another day of crippling heartache, and a loneliness on a scale you could have never imagined existed.

Jensen's POV:

Jensen sat on the back porch of Jared and Gen's house, more than a little drunk. At first when he left the house the day of their fight Jensen had been angrier than he'd ever been in his life. He told her he loved her and she literally slapped him in the face. 

That anger quickly turned to hurt. 

Rejection wasn't something he was used to. Most women threw themselves at him willingly. That wasn't really it either. What was the real slap in the face was that Y/N didn't trust him, and didn't believe him, not only when he told her he did nothing wrong, but also when he told her that he loved her. That’s the part that hurt the most.

No matter how angry he got, he couldn't deny the feelings he'd come to accept regarding his wife. 

He'd picked up the phone, looking down at it, almost willing it to ring. Nothing. So for the hundredth time he called. It rang and rang. Nothing, only voicemail.

Slamming the phone down on the table, pulled at his hair harshly before he downed the rest of the scotch in his hand. He was well on the way to drinking himself into passing out for the third night in a row. It was the only way he could sleep without seeing the hurt look on Y/N’s face when she looked up at him from the kitchen table that day.

Jensen heard Jared pull the chair away from the table  he was sitting at, and sit down next to him. He didn't bother looking at him, just continued to stare at the empty dark pool in front of him.

Jared didn't really care for Y/N. He always thought she was just using his friend for his money, but right now, looking at his best friend and watching him literally try to drink himself to death, he wished more than anything she'd call and ask him to come home. 

He may not like her, but Jensen obviously loved her, and he didn't like to see him this way. 

"Jensen, what if I send Gen over there, check on her, get a feel for things? You can't keep hiding out here drinking man. You gotta fix this."

"I don't want Gen going over there, and making this shit worse. She doesn't know you guys, and the last time she was here you didn't exactly go out of your way to make her feel welcomed." Jensen mumbled, alcohol loosening his tongue to the point he wasn't worried about sparing feelings.

"You’re right, I didn't, and I'm sorry for that. I was just looking out for you, but Jay, man, if you love her that much you're not going to be able to sit here, and drink this mess Danneel has created away. You filed a restraining order, and you have the paperwork to prove it. Go show it to Y/N. Prove to her that it wasn't what it looked like."

Taking a deep breath, Jensen nodded his head. "Okay, yeah I got paperwork now. Maybe she will see I really don't want anything to do with that bitch."

Jensen blinked hard, trying to hold back tears that threatened at the edges of his eyes. 

"I can't lose her Jar. I just can't."

Before he could finish the sentence, Jared had reached up and grabbed his friend, pulling him into a bone crushing hug. 

"Let's get you some coffee, and something to eat so you can sober up.Then you need to go home and make this shit right Jay, for her, but also for yourself."

Your POV:

Day four of Jensen being gone dawned early for you. 

You had woken up once again, much to your dismay. Trudging your way to the bathroom you felt utterly numb, everything in you felt numb, from your insides, working it's way out. You had hit your breaking point. Your body craved Jensen's contact like a dying person craved oxygen, and to be honest you were tired of feeling the way you were feeling.

Thoughts rolled through your mind without your consent. 

Was he with Danneel? Was he sleeping with her now? Did he just abandon you because he didn’t care about you anymore? Why didn’t he come home? Why is this all happening to you? Why couldn't’ you have just been more like her? Maybe then he would still be here. Maybe then he could have loved you, the way you loved him.

Ever since your parents passed away, there was nothing in this world left for you that loved you. The church had abandoned you, you had no friends, now you didn't even have Jensen. Walking to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom you searched through whatever you could find to numb the pain. There was nothing. Not even a fucking Advil.

How was it possible to hurt so much, yet be so damn numb? It didn’t even make sense.

Staggering back to the bedroom, you began to search through drawers and night stands. Maybe there was something left that would kill this headache stashed somewhere.

Finally you found your prize. A full bottle of adult Motrin. 100 tablets in all, seal not even broken. Looking at the bottle you turn it over in your hands, taking four of them at once.... Then the thought hit you.

'You’re  not good enough for Jensen. Do him a favor, down this whole bottle and go back to bed. Then you will be out of his way. No longer a burden, and out of your own miserable existence.' 

Standing there just turning the bottle over in your hands, you weighed up your opinions. 

Yeah you were way too chicken to literally shoot yourself. This though, this was easy. Just take the pills, go to sleep. 

Your heart ached in your chest. You could still hear the sound of your hand connecting with his face, the sound of the door slamming to the bedroom, then the front door. Everything you've been through, this was it. This was your limit. You wanted out. This was the only way.

Grabbing a bottle of water you start taking fistfuls of pills. You don't know how many you finally successfully swallowed, but you finally got it down to only a small amount of pills left in the bottle when you just couldn’t take anymore.

Grabbing his notebook from the bedside table, and a pen you wrote quickly. 

‘I'm so sorry I was a burden to you. You can go be free now. I did love you. I'm sorry you couldn't feel the same.’

Sitting it down next to the bed, you crawled back under the covers, and waited for sleep, or death to take you. There was no turning back now, not even if you wanted to. Grabbing your phone you quickly googled a picture of him. He was smiling, happy. It was before he met you. You were doing this for him. He deserved to be free of you. Free to be happy. The last thing you saw before your eyes closed was his beautiful face. That's the way you wanted it....

---------------------------------------------------

Jensen's POV:

Jensen wanted to come home last night.Only problem was, he couldn't sober up enough, and he knew coming home to try and make things right between the two of you while drunk wasn't the best idea; so he slept it off and took off for the house as soon as the sun came up. Even though he had a pounding headache, and his stomach was in knots he didn’t care, hangover be damned, he had to make this right between the two of you. He couldn’t take the distance anymore. 

His heart hammered in his chest the whole way  home.Something deep down inside of him screamed something was very wrong, but he shoved it off, doing all he could to convince himself everything was going to be okay. 

Pulling up into the driveway, he saw no lights on inside the house. 'She must still be sleeping.' he thought to himself. 

Slowly, he made his way out of the door of the car and up the driveway. No sound was coming from inside the house, no TV, nothing. Which was normal while people slept, but something just didn't sit right in him. Something was wrong. 

Slipping his key into the doorknob, he unlocked the door and took a step inside the house, closing the door quietly behind him.

The only light in the house was the light coming through the windows. Still,he could see everything was the same as he left it when he walked out of the front door four days ago. His heart started to hammer in his chest loud enough to pulse through his ears.

Walking through the kitchen, he could still see pots on the stove she had taken out that day to start dinner, empty, and untouched. Walking through the bottom floor she was nowhere to be found. 

"God please let her still be here." he said to himself as he started to climb the stairs towards the bedroom.

The silence in the house seemed so thick he could cut it with a knife. Something was wrong. Every fiber of his being was screaming it. His breath was coming in short, quick bursts. Fear gripped him in a way nothing ever had before. Reaching the landing, he opened the door to the master bedroom slowly.

The lights were off in the bedroom, but he could clearly see her figure outlined underneath the covers. For just a moment he took a deep sigh of relief. She was just asleep. 

Closing the door quietly, he walked over to the side of the bed. Her back was to him, the covers pulled up over to neck.  Standing there looking at her he internally kicked himself for not coming home to her sooner. 

Reaching his hand out he brushed the hair away from her face. "Y/N?"

Nothing. She must be really asleep. Putting his hand on her shoulder. He shook her in earnest how. "Y/N... Baby wake up.. We need to talk..." 

Nothing... 

Something wasn't right.

His heart started to hammer in his chest again. He felt like he was taking his breath through a straw. Shaking hard, he reached over and turned the lamp light on by the bed. 

The first thing he saw as the light flooded the room was his notepad open, and her handwriting that was on it. 

‘I'm so sorry I was a burden to you. You can go be free now. I did love you. I'm sorry you couldn't feel the same.’

At first his mind couldn't compute... Then it started to sink in. Panic grabbing him tight in his chest as he ripped the covers off her, shaking her hard. 

"Y/N! Wake up!! Come on baby, please!!"

Putting his head down by her face he could feel no breath coming from her body.

His heart seized up in his chest, shaking her lifeless body in his arms, screaming inaudibly. 

He couldn't take the thought that she was gone. It was all his fault, he left her here, he abandoned her, he was all she had, and she took her own life because of him. 

Grabbing his phone from his pocket,his eyes blurred as uncensored tears poured down his face. Every breath seemed to come out as a scream.

"911, what is your emergency?"

Jensen tried to make his voice work, but all that would come out was strangled noises and screams. He held her close to him, desperately trying to wake her up.

"Sir, please calm down.. What is your emergency? I can't help you if you won't calm down.."

Taking a deep breath he was finally  able to make his voice work in a noise that wasn't a scream.

"My wife.. Please send help. I can't wake her up. I think she's..." 

He couldn't finish the sentence. Throwing the phone down on the ground without hanging up, he pressed her body as close to his as he could, burying his face in her hair, begging her, God, and whoever would listen that she would wake up for him.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List: @deanwanddamons​ @imabitch4jensen​ @rvgrsbrns​ @bi-danvers0​ @onethirstyunicorn​ @i-love-superhero​ @akshi8278​ @lyss-dw79​ @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @defenderrosetyler​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @thecreatiivecorner​  @aflamboyanceofgays @vicmc624​ @busy-bee-angel-misska​ @justanotherwinchester​ @brilovesdeanwinchester​ @idksupernatural​ @lyarr24​ @amandamdiehl​

#jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles series #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fanfic #jensen x reader #jensen x you #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #dean winchester #jawritter #x reader inserts #jawritter 1k celebration #the arrangement

[mcousland]

nobody asked for this at all, the dummies have just become my comfort zone and i love them so a fool filled out a whole meme for them for the fun of it. dietrich belongs to @darlingicarus​!

— SHIP QUESTIONS

PRE-RELATIONSHIP —

how did they first meet?

dietrich saved both maeve’s and carden’s lives while he was making a run in the city. saving carden was pure coincidence that came from killing a few of the dead that had been blocking his own path, but maeve was intended as he kept her from meeting a terrible end when one of the dead got hold of her skirt while she tried to run past. as everyone is prone to in those early days—dietrich was fine with protecting maeve and even bringing her back to whatever group there was at the time, but didn’t mind one bit if carden got bit somewhere along the way.

what was their first impression of each other?

maeve thought he was a bit too Blunt about everything that was going on and wished he would stop looking so damned serious all the time, it made her nervous about danger being around every corner and she was already scared enough. she also thought he was a bit handsome underneath that scowl

dietrich had a bit of a hard time seeing her past carden’s [annoyingly] large presence but thought she wasn’t taking things seriously enough, too many witty one-liners and worries about dirtying her hands and clothes. probably worried about the brightness of her clothes attracting too much attention too tbh

did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

family, that’s a good one. ohhhh, i’m sure a few of their friends wanted them to sort things out and just admit to themselves whatever was going on between them, because oh boy did they Ignore a Lot of things for quite a while but a good 80% of the group could spot how close they had grown through all of the things they endured together.

who felt romantic feelings first?

we already know that it was maeve!! we know this, how silly it is to even type it out!!! we know that she woke up one morning after an evening of fwb activities, spent a minute gazing at him while he remained asleep beside her and there was a frightening Oh No realization when she found herself reaching out to touch his cheek without thinking.

did either of them try to resist their feelings?

both of them! big time!! they were fucking terrified. on top of their own already established issues with Feelings, there are the obvious shared fears that come from the world they’re living in. it’s difficult to accept that you’re becoming attached to someone when you know that you could lose them at any moment with so much violence and darkness surrounding you at every turn, especially when you’ve already lost others along the way. (dietrich definitely held out his resistance for longer, though that's a given.)

if you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

would depend on the timing, i suppose. early days they’d probably both scoff at the thought, but later on maeve could be convinced. there’s that whole “soulmates can be made” belief and yes it may be cheesy, but maeve’s a romantic at heart and she’d like to think it’s true enough. soulmates are people who understand each other deeply, are connected at the mind, and know without doubt that the other will always be there at their side—consider maeve Convinced.

GENERAL —

who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

maeve did! technically twice if you count a difference between the beginning of their fwb agreement and then the relationship proper faaaar down the line. i believe the first hook-up came about from maeve making a Very convincing argument for them to find some pleasure and relief from their steadily growing stress while they were away from the group, given that they had become somewhat of a default duo for supply runs and spent so much quality~ alone time together. considering that you could hardcut to five minutes later and find maeve on her knees unbuckling dietrich’s belt, i’d say the proposition went pretty well 😌 the relationship itself came along quite some time down the line, when maeve accidentally slipped up mid-makeout and let the love she has for dietrich Shine through her eyes while looking at him. naturally his instinct was to book it out of there because Feelings Hard, but maeve decided to risk baring her fuckin' heart ((after some months of Pining and a particularly Traumatic series of events that led to them clinging tighter to each other than before)) by asking him simply to "stay" before he could get out the door. arguably that moment was scarier than most of the times they've gone out into the world beyond the safety of their group, but ultimately worth the leap of faith!! because he stayed, and though it was never explicitly stated, they both understood that that night spent together was them putting an end to the fight against the feelings they both knew were there and finally taking the next step in their relationship.

did they have an official first date? if so, what was it like?

they did, but it was purely because maeve labeled it as such and no other reason. a few weeks after their relationship was Confirmed, maeve up and decided that their run into the city would be their first proper Date because they hadn't had some actual alone time in a good while, and it sounded like harmless fun which they didn't get enough of. nothing really Changed from their routine of clearing and scavenging, she just changed up their usual dialogue to asking the "typical date questions. oh, you know! what's your favorite movie? your weirdest fear? the dumbest thing you spent far too much money on?" just a silly excuse to get to know some of the little, random things about each other that popped into their heads or that they'd been curious about for a while.

what was their first kiss like?

tentative and oddly gentle, maeve went for a slow approach in every aspect while testing the waters to see if her last few minutes of attempting to Seduce the bastard into a fwb arrangement had panned out. it was almost Immediately followed up by another kiss and some touching that bordered more along the lines of desperate and eager as they wanted to get to the fun bits, but it was still one of the first notable moments of maeve taking that first step for them and waiting to see if he’d follow suit.

were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

probably first relationship after the world went to shit, but in general nah they’ve both got some prior experiences.

what’s their height difference? age difference?

dietrich’s 5′10″ and maeve’s 5′0″. he’s in his early-to-mid 30s, she’s probably at the end of her 20s?? somewhere around there. who needs solid numbers anyway

what’s their relationship with each other’s families?

😔✌️ new fam found in the group, who dis??

who takes the lead in social situations?

100% maeve baybee. whether she’s talking circles around somebody to keep them distracted, trying to diffuse a situation or just comforting somebody through a difficult moment, we all been knew that maeve’s better suited for almost every kind of social situation. she’ll let him handle any of the ones that rely on intimidation tho, that’s all leitner right there

who gets jealous easier?

ohhhh, that’s another maeve claim. she has Zero reason to worry because dietrich is oblivious to so many attempts at flirtation from others, but it’s still a gut instinct in her to get a little ticked off seeing some rando trying to make moves on him. that’s Her bastard that she spent untold months charming the defenses away from, take a step back and show some respect.

LOVE —

who said “i love you” first?

everybody knows it was maeve, i hardly need to say it. we know she was the one brave enough to say it first, even if it Did take a scare of losing dietrich to tell him. they both already Knew, in that ways of theirs that they have where things are simply Understood between them without having to be mentioned aloud, but she needed him to hear it from her lips at least once. just in case

what are their primary love languages?

i’d say they’re both pretty big on quality time because of them both being naturally inclined to it and how they drifted into becoming partners for supply runs and other action, they spend so much time together it’d be Wild for it not to be their shared #1. not a single doubt in my mind that acts of service is dietrich’s other big one, while maeve’s kinda 50/50 on words of affirmation and physical touch being her runner-up.

how often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

i’ll out them on main for being cuddlers in bed or just generally when they’re Alone. they’re not very big on PDA as a result of dietrich’s whole “if there’s affection exchanged in public i Will learn how to teleport myself halfway across the planet to escape the embarrassment” deal and maeve respecting that. HOWEVER. it’s still maeve and she sneaks in little things when she can, like hand-holding or winding an arm around his waist while they walk. has been known to sneak in a quick kiss to the cheek if he’s sitting down and she can snatch it while he’s not anticipating it. i think hugs are The Most affection that people would frequently see from them in public ((aside from the soft expressions as they watch each other but those don’t count, don’t @ them about it)). the amount of times people in the group have seen them kiss in public can be counted on Maybe one hand if they’re lucky lmfao they keep that shit locked down

what are their favorite things to do together?

this question deserves to be banned from memes because it immediately erases all creative braincells from your mind. dietrich likes to watch maeve tell stories and she loves to ramble those stories, so that’s a win/win for them. sitting on rooftops to watch the sunrise/sunset together. going out of their way to look through any abandoned antique stores or book shops because they’re both Nerds and willing to put in the work of clearing them out so that they can browse. i imagine their favorite is reading together in some comfortable silence, whether that’s separately or with her curled up into him on a couch so they can read the same book. wait also i think maeve thoroughly enjoys any time they’re on watch together because it gives her the opportunity to freely Tease him (and also Gaze at him while he’s focused on the perimeter but that’s entirely too soft so don’t talk about that)

who’s better at comforting the other?

i don’t think either of them are particularly Better at it than the other?? purely because in the beginning, there’s a balance there between dietrich being reluctant to accept maeve’s comfort when she offers it & her taking a hot minute to understand his attempts at comfort. but then they reach that point where dietrich doesn’t tense up when she pulls him into a hug, and maeve finds the consolation she needs in his quiet assurances. on the surface it’d appear that maeve’s better at comforting dietrich purely because she’s more openly physical with her attempts, but the amount of security and solace that she finds in his words or touch means just as much.

who’s more protective?

dietrich takes it with this one. on top of his already there inclination to protect someone if they manage to get close with him, dietrich’s simply the one with better combat skills. maeve can? kinda?? handle herself, if the danger isn’t too pressing and she can find an opening to take advantage of, and she Does have some very strong protective instincts when it comes to dietrich, but he for sure comes out on top for this one. he has the stronger drive and better skills to back the protectiveness up.

do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

physical for both of them! a lot of their communication lies in the unspoken anyhow, it’s no surprise that most of their affection is expressed physically instead of verbally. dietrich’s preference coming from the fact that he might just actually implode on the spot if maeve showered him in too many compliments and expressions of love through words, and maeve’s from learning to appreciate and bask in the meaning and emotion behind the physical affection that he does engage in. also she’s just,, a slut for any kind of affection to begin with, but it’s definitely a whole Thing with being touched when there’s genuine care and love behind it instead of some other ulterior motive.

what are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

[sweats in Having An Entire Playlist Dedicated To Dummies In This AU]

sunlight by hozier — (video essayist voice) the conclusion: maeve is the sunlight to dietrich’s raincloud, thank you. the vibes for this one are just off the charts, lads. it’s about finding Warmth and Light in this love amidst the horrors of the world and in spite of the initial reluctance to let each other get close.

safe & sound by taylor swift — another one with vibes out of this world, this song is Top Tier for a big part of their dynamic in this verse, which is them finding safety and comfort in each other while the rest of the world goes to shit around them. everything may be going up in flames outside, but they know that they have each other and they’re not Alone in anything they do.

what kind of nicknames do they call each other?

maeve’s the queen of petnames, unfortunately for the easily flustered bastard. her favorites are naturally dear and darling, but she also enjoys an occasional use of lover. has called him baby once or twice just to get the reaction out of him. oh wait she also likes calling him an old man when he’s Like That and doesn’t get her references or grumbles too much.

i mean,, it’s dietrich, he uses Sommers more often than her fuckin’ first name and i don’t think he’s out here using petnames/nicknames on the reg At All, they’re opposite ends of the spectrum with this one. he called her sweetheart once to throw her off and it sent her out of wack for at least the entire rest of the day. so good on him, mission accomplished.

DOMESTIC LIFE —

if they get married, who proposes?

no marriage! dietrich’s not quite keen on it and maeve’s not the type to push him into anything he’s not comfortable with. if anything she might?? bring up the idea of rings if they ever come by some while out and about and they’ve been together for a hot minute, for the sentimental and sappy reason of having little reminders of each other to keep on their persons, but she’s not Insistent about it and is content with what they have.

how many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

no kids! world too scary, no thank you!! they’re also just Not in dietrich’s wheelhouse, which may have been a Problem for them if they weren’t in the midst of an actual fuckin’ apocalypse where nearly every day is a fight for survival and maeve can Clearly see every downside of bringing a baby into that.

do they have any pets?

don’t think so, but maeve’s probably made a whole Deal once or twice about leaving a little food for any dogs or cats they see along their treks because she has a soft heart.

who kills the bugs in the house?

dietrich!! he’s in charge of doing away with those Creatures because maeve will most certainly not be going anywhere near them if she can help it. which is,, pretty funny. you know considering their Big Picture circumstances. zombies? she’s fine with them after a point, only truly terrifying in medium-to-large numbers. a spider or cockroach skittering across the kitchen counter?? Horrifying! leitner do your job and protect your woman from the hellspawn

how do they celebrate holidays?

generally just by,, Acknowledging them?? at the very least. maeve has her entire Thing that is keeping track of the date with a day planner that she has had with her from the very beginning (though it’s been lost once or twice, always found its way back), but she doesn’t demand anything happen on holidays because they’re usually a bit Busy making sure they aren’t Dying to whatever’s threatening them that day. on the occasions where they have the free time, maeve insists they spend quiet time together without having to worry about any of their daily responsibilities and that’s holiday enough. maybe slips in a small tradition if applicable and not too over the top

who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

maeve is a very ;) persuasive woman ;)) it was more difficult and had a less frequent success rate back during the fwb days, but he’s completely fucked after they’ve been #confirmed. stands not a single chance to resist those eyes and the idea of lying in her arms for just a little while longer before they have to start their day.

who’s the better cook?

😔😔 dietrich by far. maeve couldn’t cook for shit before the apocalypse began when she had access to all sorts of appliances, recipes and helpful tutorials, there ain’t no way in hell she stands a chance at beating him Now. she’ll gladly take up other duties, but he’s their chef unless somebody else in the group has made a big dinner for everyone to share.

#not me constantly yelling from the rooftops about how much i love theym #i had half a braincell while writing most of this but consider: i don't care bc i fuckin adore them and the rambling is on brand #sometimes the romance is stored in the growing and learning from each other until you mirror & perfectly understand each other y'know #witcher au: apocalypse #maeve & dietrich

[romanceromp]

Okay, so I’ve been processing this amazing show, and everything about it for a couple of hours now. I’m going to try to put them into some sort of order, but it’s probably still going to be messy and yeah.... whatever. Gonna cut again, cause it’s going to be long. 

Daphne:

I was not a Daphne fan in the book. I found her very disingenuous, and quite manipulative. She manipulated Simon so much to get him to marry her. And then the dubious consent scene when he was drunk was the nail in the coffin for her...

But, the show did a really good job of rehabbing her character from the book. I actually really liked her. I found that most of the decisions she made were based on the enormous pressure she felt to have a successful debut and the find a worthy husband. She was concerned about her family’s reputation, and setting up her younger sisters for when their time came. I never really thought about that pressure while reading the book. 

Simon:

I didn’t like Simon in the book either. He was way too pig-headed, I hated that he basically abandoned Daphne, it was just all around terrible.

Rege brought such a warmth to Simon’s character. I really felt for him, and while he was still quite pigheaded, HE DID NOT ABANDON HIS WIFE. He still cared enough to stay with her. HUGE IMPROVEMENT ON THE BOOK. I just loved him. I can’t really put it into words. He was wonderful even when he was being a jerk. 

Anthony:

I understand what they were doing with Anthony. Some may view it as character assasination, but I understand it completely. As Siena said, Anthony is lost. He’s trying to emulate what he thought his father would do in every situation, but he just got it so wrong every time. I truly did feel like he thought he was doing what was best, but he just wasn’t listening to his family, which he needed to. I loved the back and forth with Violet. I think by the end he had started to turn the corner, and would be more like book Anthony in caring for his families’ wants and wishes. 

I didn’t hate the love story with Siena. To be honest, it makes more sense to me than the book story of why he didn’t want to love his wife. He had his heart broken, and his pride wounded. The normal reaction to that is to avoid love again (I’ve been there before, I wholly sympathize). But I don’t think he was truly in love with Siena, he was infatuated with her, and I think that he liked he could let down his “head of the family” guard that he always had up. He could be himself around her without being judged. I understand why he wanted to keep being with her. 

It really did set him up perfectly for the next season where he will meet Kate and his whole world will turn upside down, and he will truly understand what REAL love is. I can’t wait to watch that happen.

Benedict:

I liked the introduction to Benedict’s artist storyline. I also REALLY enjoyed the introduction to Benedict not giving a FUCK about society’s standards. It all leads quite nicely to his love story with Sophie, the lady’s maid. 😊 

I also REALLY loved the Benedict/Eloise scenes. I adored them. They are so similar, and I really loved that the show explored that and that they challenged each other. It was wonderful, and I look forward to seeing more of that in the later seasons.

Eloise:

I kinda loved Eloise’s obsession with Lady Whistledown and trying to figure out who it was. I honestly thought in the carriage scene with Benedict and Madame Delacroix that she figured out that it was Penelope, good misdirect there show. Claudia really gave such a wonderful performance. I CAN’T WAIT to see Phillip being super annoyed at her talking all the time. CAN’T WAIT. 

The Peneloise friendship was so wonderful as well. I hated that little part when they were fighting, but of course, they were always there for one another when they needed it. I adored it. 

Colin:

I’ve already mentioned on another post that I didn’t like the Marina storyline. But now, thinking about it, maybe it wasn’t that out of character for him? We all know he kind of makes snap judgments and just goes with it, as in when he decided he wanted to marry Penelope and just essentially ran in to ask for her mother’s blessing within 5 minutes of deciding. 

I did appreciate him being a sensitive soul. He really is. He would honestly do anything to help someone he cared about. 

I suppose the Marina storyline sets up the LW reveal in his and Penelope’s story, as it’s much harsher knowing that Penelope was the one to reveal Marina’s pregnancy publicly. It adds a level of drama that we didn’t have in the book. He was just jealous of Pen in the book, which was a bit weak in my opinion. 

Also, I feel like we can still get the “what is love” conversation with Daphne in his book. I feel like based on this experience he could be confused about what love really is, if he thought he loved Marina, but was wrong. I just really loved that scene in the book, so I hope they keep it.

Penelope:

I ADORED PENELOPE. Except for when she was a jealous bitch and basically ruined her and her sister’s future by revealing Marina’s pregnancy. That was 100% out of character, as we know Penelope wouldn’t have done anything to ruin her family. They will definitely need to do some character rehabbing for that particular plot point in the future. 

But seriously, Penelope’s heartbreak absolutely shattered me. Nicola played it SO WELL. She cried, I cried. It was hard to watch. And to be honest, at the end when she was crying after looking out the window, I thought she was crying because Colin was leaving, and I completely forgot that her father had just died. Lol. I honestly believe she was crying more for Colin than her father. 

Anyways, Penelope still has my heart. I just wanted to hug her for 90% of her scenes. Don’t worry Pen, your time will come. 

Violet:

Violet was wonderful. I also really loved that they had Daphne tell her how terrible it was that she didn’t give a proper birds and bees speech to her prior to her marriage. I think this sets up Violet to prepare the other girls better for their marriages. 

I loved that she went toe-to-toe with Anthony a lot. He needed to be put in his place, a lot, and she did. It was wonderful. 

She was just in general the matriarch that we all came to love in the books. I think she really grew as a mother over the season as well. 

Other thoughts:

Nigel being the villain in the first half was shocking and such a departure from the books. Not sure I loved that choice.

Cressida’s hair crowns were wild, and distracting.

I LOVE QUEEN CHARLOTTE. I NEED A SPIN OFF LIKE YESTERDAY.

I’ve said this in another post, but Prince Friedrich’s storyline was unrealistic, and yes, I know it’s fantasy world, but it still was a reach, and wasted potential Daphne/Simon development time.

I loved seeing Sir Phillip and setting up that story. Are they going to make the twins older though? Are they going to move up Eloise’s story? So many questions remain from that plot point. Also, he is hot and can GET IT. Yum.

Lady Danbury was almost as regal as the Queen, and I LOVED her women’s only gambling party. It is 100% in character, and I wanted to go to that party. I also loved the mother role she took with Simon, and boy did he need her. I’m so glad she plays a role in each book, I need more of her.

Daphne’s speech at the end of the ball in the rain made me cry so much. It was beautiful. Phoebe did such a great job with it. I loved that both she and Simon got a monologue to explain how much they care and love one another, and that they were at different times. 

Overall, I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. I need season two ASAP. It’s going to suck waiting another year or more for it. I’m still fairly convinced we will see a season two. They just set up so much for future seasons, I don’t see why they wouldn’t continue the show.

#bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #sorry this is so long #i have thoughts #and feelings

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 136

136

It was getting harder and harder to talk to Keith. He didn’t hate or blame his boyfriend. Lance just missed him so much. Nothing felt the same. He should be happy. None of his family here knew he was a vampire, none of them knew he was the same Lance that left, only that they remembered “his father when he was a little boy”. The family was loud. Loud and loving, and religious. His Mami spent so much time with them that he regretted them not coming back sooner.

With Mami busy, it should have been easy to find a moment alone to talk to Keith. His mum spent more time with the family than at hotel now, meaning he’d scored one or two private conversations. He’d scored some serious alone time too, for a very... graphic call. Then... then everything started going wrong again. Keith wouldn’t be home for Christmas. He wouldn’t be home for New Years. He wouldn’t be home for a while now and Lance’s heart broke on the spot. Keith was so apologetic. So sad to tell him. Lance had called him to show him the beach down from the hotel, where dozens of tourists had flocked during their vacations. He’d “splurged”. Got a nice umbrella, a really nice big red towel, a good book, and called up Keith. He couldn’t blame Keith. Zarkon was pissed at Lotor. Lotor dropped contact when he’d gone home to face his father. Keith roped into the mission to find out what was going on. He’d promised to call when he could, but it wasn’t the same. Keith was always so tired. They barely talked a handful of minutes at a time, then he had to go completely silent.

Lance had gone back to the hotel room and cried. He couldn’t do much else. He’d put on a brave wobbly smile for Keith, but Keith was supposed to be back the next week. The conversation playing on loop in his mind like a torturous reminder of how far apart they were and that they seemed to be drifting apart further by the day. He was supposed to come back then come down to Cuba. Now he didn’t know where the fuck his boyfriend was, or when he’d be home again. He’d cried and cried so much that Mami had to get a lift back to the hotel from one the cousins. Holding him against her, she kissed his hair and hushed him until he was calm enough to talk to her.

He really shouldn’t be saying Mami spent all her time with the family. Not more than what was expected, and they’d had a lot of fun playing tourists and doing all the things tourists did that Mami was up for. A few people tried to fleece them, thinking them dumb tourists until Mami put them in their places. No one messed with his Mami, not when she was Cuban born and bread. They’d gone dancing. Picked the most expensive place they could for dinner. Eaten ice cream by the beach, as she told him about the first time his Papi taught Luis to surf on a long board. She’d told him so much of the stories about her and his dad. They’d gone driving, Mami talking about the trouble they used to get up to, visiting the farms where Jorge had worked and the family farm that was still being run by cousins. He loved how happy she was. It was like 50 years had been knocked off her life. He’d heard too much... like his father being good in bed, but seeing all these places again after so much time was amazing. And that Mami would remember something from so long ago... He took back wanting Coran to take them back home.

Seeing Keith couldn’t come back in time, Lance decided against going back for Christmas. His Mami had told the family that he was expecting his first children, and boy did the aunts fuss. They wanted to know everything about “Lance’s son”. Lance didn’t know if he lived up to all the hype, but he did remember to bring flowers and accept kisses... and weird hugs where they couldn’t feel his extending belly. They were touched he’d followed his father into law, leading to him being too smart more than once. Lies about a sun allergy and a bunch of allergies covered up when he was feeling ill. Mami had forced enough home remedies for morning sickness down his throat he literally feared what she’d come up with next. He missed his boyfriend with all his heart. And every day away without proper word, or any word, weighed on him so heavily he wasn’t sure how he’d ever lived without Keith. But spending this time with Mami and no fear felt good.

*

Parking in front of Lance’s house, Keith eyes the lights on the living room with fear and excitement... and a whole lot of happiness to be home again. Two months he’d been away from Lance. Two fucking bullshit months. He hadn’t been able to get hold of Lance for the last few weeks, after breaking his boyfriend’s heart it felt strained every time they talked face to face. Lance knew he couldn’t answer his phone, so he’d expected a flurry of messages and missed calls, like normal, when he’d come back from the ridiculousness. There’d been nothing. Well, not nothing, his boyfriend had texted a couple of times to say he loved him, but overall, he’d kind of been out of full contact from the 28th of December. He tried Lance’s phone as soon as the shit storm finally settled. He’d tried messaging him. He’d tried Lance’s personal phone and work phone. He’d tried his home phone. Shiro and Curtis were coming back next week. His idiot brother went and broke his arm. Matt and Rieva had already come back earlier... but their car wasn’t in the drive. He knew he’d hurt Lance by not being there, but it felt like a kick to the gut that his boyfriend hadn’t tried to reach out at all.

Taking an earlier, public, flight. He’d rented a car, then headed straight up to Garrison. He hadn’t even had a “Merry Christmas” in the slightest. Mami had to explain that Lance was resting, and not doing too well. His boyfriend barely got to talk to him the following day, pale and sleepy, while assuring him it was from mami’s latest idea on how to help with this morning sickness. He hated that he’d only been able to find 5 minutes of alone time to be with Lance.

Climbing out the car, Keith fixed his jacket up, hoping he didn’t look like he’d spent hours stuck on a place that had far too many people on it. He hoped Lance was there, and that nothing had gone wrong in his absence. Jogging up to the front door, Keith knocked. Hunk’s car was in the drive, but Lance’s wasn’t. He hoped that meant Lance’s car was being serviced. He was going crazy. He’d tried to think of what he’d said or done that could have driven Lance from him. He never wanted to be away that long. February had started just as he finally arrived back in Rome. He hadn’t seen Lance what felt like two years. No. Every day felt like two years. Matt delighted at teasing him over it. Fucking werewolves didn’t age like normal people. He wasn’t stupid. Two and half years human years was like one years worth of again for werewolves. It wasn’t fair.

Opening the door, Hunk stared at him. His friend looked like he’d seen better days too. He’d missed them. He hadn’t heard from them either in the last two weeks. Shuffling forward, Hunk wrapped his arms around Keith. It should have been a happy hug, yet Keith could feel there was more to it. Hugging Hunk back, he didn’t force him to tell him where Lance was. The sick feelings of fear and dread so damn heavy that he feared he’d throw up if he opened his mouth. Breaking the hug, Hunk let out a long breath

“Oh, man. It’s so good to see you back. Does Lance know you’re back? Does this means he’ll be coming back again?”

Again? He was missing something...

“Hun.-.. Holy Shit!”

Pidge came running from the living room, Keith catching her as she launched herself at him for a hug

“I can’t believe you’re back! When you missed the funeral I wasn’t sure you’d ever be coming back. Is Lance with you?”

Funeral? What funeral? And where was Lance? His confusion showed. Hunk looking pained

“You’d better come in, man. You’ve missed a lot”

A fine layer of dust covered most things in the house. There was evidence that Hunk and Pidge had tried to keep on top of the housework, but it was far cry from Lance’s standards. The house felt cold. Empty. Painfully abandoned as he followed Hunk into the kitchen. He had to know what was happening here. Lance’s house was warm and bright. Happy and safe. Not like this

“What’s going on? And what’s this about a funeral?”

Hunk sighed heavily as he went about getting the coffee pod into the machine. Pidge sitting herself on the kitchen counter, looking sad as she did

“You didn’t hear?”

Keith shook his head

“I’ve been trying to reach Lance but he hasn’t replied. I thought he’d be back here by now”

Pidge bit her lip, eyes getting wet behind her glasses. Hunk turning to him

“His mum died. They had the funeral three ago”

Keith staggered because he didn’t see that coming. Hunk came to his aid, taking him by the arm and pulling out Lance’s usual seat to sit him in

“What? When?”

“I think I was the...”

“On the sixth... Coran speed tracked things, helped get her home. He... went with him to the funeral. It was a nice service... His siblings tried to bar him from attending. We recorded it for him. We tried to go with him, but Coran took him away again. I guess because you guys still weren’t safe or something”

Did his mother know about Mami? She’d joined the mission at a different stage to him. Meeting with them when they were closer to Zarkon’s territory

“H-how?”

“In her sleep. Lance was with her, he still wouldn’t tell us where they went. They’d slept over, and she passed away in her sleep”

He couldn’t process it at all. Mami was amazing. She always, always bounced back. Hunk hugged him

“I know, man. I know you two were tight. I hoped Lance had gone to be with you, but I guess that wasn’t the case”

“Do... do you know where he is?”

Hunk shook his head

“He apologised and said he had some things he needed to do. Didn’t you see Coran?”

“Lance didn’t reply to my messages so I got the first flight back I could get on”

Pidge nodded at him

“We asked Coran if we could talk to him, but Lance said he needed space. We didn’t know if you’d broken up or not because he was back and you weren’t. I didn’t think you wouldn’t know”

“I... had no idea...”

Did this mean it was over? That Lance no longer wanted to be with him? How could Mami have passed away nearly... how... he couldn’t process not knowing. He had to go back to Platt. Coran had to tell him what the fuck was going on. There hadn’t even been a message left at headquarters. He didn’t get it

“We tried to figure out how to contact you, but my messages wouldn’t go through to your phone. I guess you must have been busy... Matt and Rieva came back home, but they went back up to Platt. I know Coran couldn’t tell us if Lance had left again, but I get the feeling he’s gone back where he’d been hiding out. He probably doesn’t know you’re back”

Keith pushed his chair back, Hunk stepped back

“What are you doing?”

“I’ll go talk to Coran. I’ll make him tell me where Lance is”

Lance... Keith hoped Lance was waiting for him wherever he was. He hoped his boyfriend still believed he was coming back to him. He’d seen how hurt all the near misses Mami gave him left him. He couldn’t believed he’d missed this... He never should have gone to fucking Rome. He felt wrong about doing it before he left and worse after

“Can we come?”

“I don’t think I’ll be very good company. I can’t... Mami... it’s not fair”

Pidge shook her head at him

“I don’t care. I’m sick of not knowing what’s going on. Lance really needs you right now and Coran has to talk to us properly if you’re back, that has to mean it’s safe”

Driving back to Platt, Keith couldn’t stop thinking about Lance. He didn’t call ahead because he didn’t want Coran to fob him off, or even worse, tell him that Lance didn’t want to see him. His mind was firmly on Lance every single moment until the elevator doors were opening and he had his arms full of Coran

“Oh, my boy. You are a sight for sore eyes”

Yay. Good for him

“Where the fuck is Lance?”

Direct. To the point. His words summed up the only thing that mattered

“Ah. Come with me”

Led to Coran’s office, Keith leaned against the door cutting off Coran’s means of escape. Coran sighing as he moved the papers on his desk away from Pidge and Hunk

“Sorry, about that. Sensitive data...”

“Coran!”

Okay. He was being rude and bossy, Coran wincing at his name

“Lance is Cuba”

Cuba. Keith could have punched himself in the face for not picking it. Mami wanted to go Cuba again, Lance had been talking about going with her. It made so much sense. The sand and the beach. The feel of the hotel room. The different rooms in the background and voices. Why Mami looked so happy. She’d looked younger too. Like she was free of a great burden... If she was going to pass away anywhere, she did where she had so much of her family. But he just... he couldn’t get his head around it

“What happened?”

Coran sighed again, rubbing at his face as he did

“I think it’s better if we discuss that alone...”

“Fuck off, he’s our best friend. He’s basically our family and you wouldn’t tell us anything”

Pidge was right. The gremlin cranky as heck. Hunk bold enough to add

“We barely got to see him at the funeral. We’ve tried talking to him but he hasn’t answered us”

“Yeah. You said we couldn’t know until it was safer. Keith’s home now. Why can’t you tell us what’s happening?!”

“Lance asked I talk to Keith when he came. He asked me to keep you both safe. I sincerely hated not being able to tell you Lance’s whereabouts. I can tell you he is safe. I did talk to him this morning. He decided to remain in Cuba until Keith returned”

Pidge crossed her arms

“You could have let us see him after the funeral”

“He was in no fit state. He was recovering. I did ask him stay, but he insisted that he needed to be in Cuba”

“Wait. You said he was “recovering” did something happen?”

“A small bleed. The loss of Miriam hit him hard. Stress and exhaustion coupled with the loss of his mother. He tried to brave it alone, but the poor boy wanted to go to Rome to be with you. I did try to contact you through the Blades, but was informed that you were currently on a mission and not accepting messages or calls”

Keith could murder. He could murder all day. He could murder all the people who thought he didn’t need to know this. Thank fuck he’d never set foot in there. He’d officially resigned. He’d only ever been back thanks to Lotor. He was officially retired from their registry and now out of the loop, outside of his mother, completely. Krolia understood. Then decided during all the shit happening that she had to go develop feelings for Kolivan which he’d never seen coming until he thought about how happier his mother had been in Platt, and wondered if she’d held everything inside of herself so “he wouldn’t have a reason to hate her”. Adults were complicated. His mum and Kolivan triply so. Okay. Maybe he liked his mother a whole lot more to the point where he was accepting he loved her. But Kolivan... he didn’t want to think about them... that... “doing the do”.

Sendak was dead, which was a good thing. The trouble was that they had different statements. Lance had admitted to killing Sendak, and asked for leniency towards Lotor as he was only trying to protect him. Mountains of briefings were had. Secret squirrel meetings behind closed door. Lotor left then they had to go find him...

“I quit. Them... again. Permanently this time. They asked me to resume my duties in Rome and I declined. Petty wankers”

“Yes, well. I was told about what eventuated. I can’t say I’m too happy over the method”

That was a conversation to have with Lance first. Then with Pidge and Hunk, if Matt and Rieva hadn’t first. Which reminded him

“Where are Matt and Rieva?”

“They wished to see Lance. As I couldn’t send them to see him, as per Lance’s request. I sent them down there on “holiday””

Great. They could have him know

“Did you tell him?”

“No. In all honesty I believe he only stayed in Cuba because he wanted to wait in a safe place until your return. He has missed you very much. He did leave you a letter here”

“When can I see him?”

“I’m on relatively good terms with save. A wonderful vampire runs it as a safe haven for those down there...”

Pidge held her hand up, telling Coran to stop

“What the heck is “Save”?”

“South American Vampire Enterprises”. We all know how the world perceives some countries, they look past this, and honestly the media is terrible at painting them in a bad light when they’re filled with such wonderful people. I’ve put them in contact with Lance. He’d been very cooperative and we talk each morning. I actually know her...”

Not another sex story. Keith couldn’t do it

“That’s not what I asked about. I asked when I can see my boyfriend”

“I was getting there. We used special permission with Miriam and Lance. There is only so much aid they can provide, however, I did inform her that you would be joining Lance once your work was completed. It may take a few hours to get things settled and permission. That’s why I was not able to send Matt and Rieva privately. I barely managed to get their tickets and visas processed. Your Blade status did allow access into most countries, but I went ahead with processing what I could of your visa when Matt and Rieva returned. I was most sad that you hadn’t contacted me”

He didn’t think about it. He was too busy trying to talk to Lance, and ignoring the fact he’d accidentally made friends with the werewolves. They still thought Lance was a bad arse killing machine fighting for good and some other bullshit like that. They hadn’t seen his damn nightmares

“Coran, when I can see Lance?”

“Tonight. I’ll make plans right away, tonight is the earliest I can do. Unfortunately for you, Pidge and Hunk, I can only send Keith as you two are not VOLTRON hunters. However, you are free to wait here until they return, though that will be up to Lance and Keith. Rieva and Matt will return next Monday”

Hunk looked to Pidge, Pidge then looked to Keith and nodded. Keith felt bad that they couldn’t come, Pidge seemed to read his mind

“He really needs you more than he needs us right now. When you find him, you have to swear you’ll call us and let us know that he’s okay. And you have to tell him we miss him and want him to come home already”

“I... I’m not going to rush him”

“You don’t need to. We just want him to know where not mad and we miss him. If he gets hurt on your watch, we will kick your arse”

“I feel like you guys should be there as much as I should”

“We already got to see him since you did. He loves us, but he’s waiting for you”

Keith looked to Coran, Coran smiling at him. Keith didn’t particularly feel this was a time to be smiling. He was still worried about this bleed, on top of if Matt and Rieva had helped Lance or simply upset him

“I’ll get right onto it. Here, this is from Lance, perhaps you should read it before you see him? He took the loss of Miriam very hard. I’m sorry we couldn’t contact you sooner about it. We would have pulled you out of your mission if you’d been here. I’m sorry for your loss”

Being stuck waiting for permission, the trio went up to the bookshop. Keith had never sat down in the bookshop before. The three of them sitting near the front window, Lance’s letter in Keith’s hands. He wanted to know what Lance was thinking, but he also wanted to hear everything from his boyfriend himself. Was there some goodbye in the letter? Had Lance not thought he’d ever return? How many times had he checked his phone for news, only to find nothing. He wanted to call him, but with Lance not answering his calls... and only his calls it seemed. Matt and Rieva were there. That was good. They could have fucking contacted him though. They knew the mission was wrapping up. God. He hoped they’d told Lance he was okay.

“Keith?”

Keith blinked, realising he was crying. Teardrops on the envelope of the letter

“Sorry... I was thinking about what Lance must have been going through”

Hunk nodded at him

“He’s all we’ve been thinking about too. Do you want us to go so you can read the letter alone?”

“No... I... should I read it?”

“Lance wrote it for you. He must have had a lot to say”

“I want to hear that from him. What if... what if he thought it was over?”

“Even if he did, he still waited for you... Did... did you guys have a fight?”

A fight would have been easier. They could have made up if they had. He would have pestered Lance into talking to him...

“No. It just got harder and harder to call... I’m sorry, I want to explain things to him first. So much happened that I don’t know where to begin... I haven’t... talked to him since the end of December... when I got back, he didn’t answer any of my calls or messages”

“I’m sure he just needed time, Bud. I think you should read what Lance wrote”

Pidge nodded her agreement

“Even if it’s hard or something you don’t want to read, he still wrote whatever it was that he was feeling and thinking...”

Keith looked at the envelope again

“I think... I think I’m going to wait until I see him. He can tell me off then”

“Are you sure? He did write it for you”

“Yeah. I’m not going to believe it’s over until he tells me himself”

“We’ve got hours by the seems of things, what do you want to now you’re back?”

He wanted to get up and pace. Start yelling. Demand Coran hurry up. If he could have driven to Cuba he probably would have

“Maybe you can fill me in on everything else I’ve missed?”

Pidge snorted

“Let’s go get coffee then. You’ve like, missed nothing”

#once bitten twice stupid #oncebittentwicestupid #ashratherose #don’t stab me

[danetobelieve]

Game Night || Ariana, Rio, Todd and Winston

When: before the morgue scream, late september :) Who: @letsbenditlikebennett, @itsyaboytodd, @3starsquinn & @danetobelieve Where: Winston & Rio’s house. Summary: who doesn’t love a family game night? Warnings: n/a  

Winston pulled the door of their place open. It’s hinges creaking slightly in the nighttime. It had been a nightmare recently and they were always one who would try and take the advice that they would give to their friends and they were sure that they would suggest that their friends keep busy. But all they could think about was how they hadn’t been able to change what had happened to Roland and to Orion and to Blanche. A forced smile cracked across their face that definitely didn’t quite reach their eyes. “Hey, I’m so glad you’re here, come in come in, it’s starting to get cold again and you should come into the warmth for sure.” 

Todd didn’t usually read the news, but it had been hard to ignore all the stuff about the police guy who’d died in the fire at the funeral home. It had blown up all over Facebook and the town’s online noticeboard and he couldn’t imagine what it must be like for Winston during all of this. That dude had been their boss-- and like, Winston really loved his job. It wasn’t like a shift manager at Friction had quit or anything like that. That guy had died.... That was some legit awful stuff. Which is why he had a case of Natty’s under one arm, his backpack full of games, and his favorite bucket hat on his head. He was gonna make this game night the best they’d had! “Haha, thanks, dude!” He said as he walked inside. Was he a little cold? Yeah. But, shorts and a bro tank were his go-to look and he wasn’t about to let the fall weather come and ruin that for him. “I got us beers! And, I’ve got a whole bunch of games in my bag-- brought my poker set, Cards against Humanity, and,” Todd reached into the pocket of his cargo shorts and tossed the yellow sack excitedly in the air. “Bananagrams!” 

Going to game night with her friends was the right thing to do. It was what Celeste and Winn would have wanted her to do, but still, Ariana felt as if she was just sort of floating by. Every day, things seemed to be getting darker and darker, including the sky. The way the trees seemed to blow the opposite direction of the wind and how the light seemed to flicker as she walked by painted a surreal picture that mirrored what she was feeling inside. Part of her wanted to return to the comfort of the fluffy blanket she had on her couch and snuggle up to Luna, but she had to move forward. Keep taking the right steps until things started to feel right. Plus, it had been entirely too long since she’d hung out with Winston and Todd and she wasn’t quick to forget she nearly lost Rio and Blanche, too. She’d brought an array of snacks with her since she didn’t have any games besides Dreamsnatcher and she couldn’t buy alcohol. She’d mustered enough energy to make some salsa and guacamole to go with the chips she brought. She didn’t bother knocking as she had a key to let herself in. As she twisted the knob, she took in a deep breath and put on the most convincing smile she could. “Hey guys,” she called out as she entered the house, “I brought snacks!” 

It hadn’t been the best couple of weeks. Orion had felt just about tapped out, between the fire and the police officer dying and then Winn so shortly after. For the first time since Rio had left his family’s house, he had actually started to feel that familiar sense of hopelessness he had been so overcome with the last few years. Things had changed. Things had been getting better. Why was it now that things were going so terribly wrong? Just when Rio was starting to feel useful, like he finally had a purpose to help people. Turned out, after Roland and Winn, he had only reinforced the fact that he had been useless after all. But Winston hadn’t been the same since the fire either. Something was wrong, and Rio didn’t know how to fix that either. But maybe tonight could be a start, if they could just find some semblance of normalcy. With Winston’s friend Todd coming and Rio and Ariana finally talking again maybe the four of them could find a way to make things okay again. Even if it was only for a single night. It was a start. So despite how sore his body was, and the healing burn on his hands and neck, Rio plastered a smile onto his face, and jumped up from the couch when he heard them arrive. He scooted into the room where Winston was inviting them in and waved from the end of the hall, “Hey! Thanks for coming!” He couldn’t tell if it sounded genuine or like he was trying too hard, but hoped it was the former, “I really needed this after the fire.”  

Todd was always a bright spot in Winston’s life. He seemed to exude vibrance, innocence and happiness. Exactly what Winston needed right now. The truth was of course that as Ariana came in behind him, they could tell that she was struggling just as much as they were. There was something about the fact that her eyes didn’t quite hold the smile that her face did. There was a slowness and forcedness to her reactions. She didn’t seem truly happy but then again who was nowadays? But Winston hadn’t forgotten having to abandon Todd when they were meant to be going to that concert, this was their way of making it up to their friend. “Duuuude!” Winston grinned and hoped it looked genuine, “thanks for bringing the Nattys! Can’t wait to get going on this, everyone come in come in, Rio obviously knows Ari, and so do you Todd, but Rio this is my friend Todd and Todd this is my boyfriend Orion but we all just call him Rio.” Winston held their smile until their back was turned to everyone as they shut the door to their lounge and had a brief moment of respite from the forced looks of elation. “Does anyone want a cold drink, I can put the beers in the freezer so they get cold faster.” Wasn’t Todd cold in a tank top? Winston was already wearing one of their favourite hoodies and they were considering turning the heating up. 

“Oh hell yeah, Meg--Ariana!” Todd said with a grin as the girl mentioned snacks. He fucking loved chips and guac. Letting Winston take the beers from him, Todd held out his arms, offering Megan-- Ariana, a respectful side-hug if she wanted it. Just cuz he was a hugger didn’t mean that he was just gonna bear hug her, that wasn’t cool. “How ya been? When Winston told me that you’d be here, I was super hype.” Turning around, Todd looked at the young man who was walking up to him, looking a little hesitant. Ah, nah, that wouldn’t do! This was game night! “Duuuude! Rio! Nice to meet ya, Winston’s told me lots about you!” He said, arms still spread out wide as he offered a big hug. He wasn’t super sure what was going on, but he got the idea that this game night was a long time coming. And he just wanted everyone to have a good time.

There was no denying that she wasn’t the only one here feeling worse for wear, but Ariana couldn’t help but smile at Todd’s enthusiasm. He really did have such an energetic way about him that would normally be more contagious. It was funny, she’d almost forgotten he met her as Megan. With a small laugh, she joked, “Sorry for the name confusion there. One might say I was having a bit of an identity crisis.” She accepted Todd’s hug and felt a little bit better after the fact. Somehow, this was already working a bit and taking her mind off everything. The Natty would probably help even more, but for now, she grabbed some bowls from the kitchen and set up the chips and dips. “I won’t lie to you, I’ve been better, but I’m happy to be here with you guys. I had a lot of fun when Winston brought me to that party you played a few weeks ago,” she answered with her most convincing smile, “How have you been? Still seeing that cougar?” She hated that word, but she lit up a bit when Rio was introduced. “I legit forget his full name is Orion sometimes, but Rio is the best.” 

Tonight was going to be nice. It had to be, for all of their sakes. Well maybe not Todd, he seemed to be doing fine actually. That was pretty refreshing, meeting someone so genuinely happy. Todd was obviously an affectionate person, trying to welcome Orion with open arms, literally. Rio accepted the hug, albeit a little more apprehensive than Todd was. His friendliness was contagious, making Rio want to smile despite the situation. That was what the night was for though, right? “It’s nice to meet you too! I’ve uh- heard a lot about you as well. And I guess in a way Winston and I have you to thank for us getting together. It sorta started at some club we went to to see you.” Would either of them ever have made a move if they hadn’t gotten drunk in that club? It was hard to tell. Rio glanced curiously over at Ariana when she mentioned an identity crisis. Rio had no idea what that meant, but he supposed the two hadn’t talked much until Rio had gone to the hospital. He felt a little out of the loop. “Ha. Well, it’s actually sorta weird now when people actually call me Orion. I feel like my parents are the only ones that do it.” Rio shrugged and scratched at the burn on his neck nervously. “But uh- Feel free to drink however much you want tonight! You can sleep here if you need or I can drive you home after.” 

Keeping busy was the name of the game. Whether it was with work or with friends or with personal projects. Winston didn’t have time to think about everything that had been going on recently if they kept themselves busy. “You can crash in the spare room or on one of the sofas if you’d prefer dude,” Winston agreed from the kitchen as they sorted snacks into bowls, slid very drinks into fridges and made themselves their own drink. Swallowing half of it in one go, Winston winced. Alcohol didn't’ even really numb anything all that much. But it was harder to think about how fucked up things were at the moment. Looking over to Todd, Winston couldn’t help but smile. How the guy managed to stay so positive throughout was kind of beyond them. “You’ve yet to tell us that much about this girl you are dating,” Winston chimed in their back still turned to the group. They hoped that the emotion hadn’t completely left their voice. They had just been telling people that they were tired but they weren’t sure if anyone actually believed it. 

Hugging Megan-Ariana first, then Rio, Todd couldn’t help how overwhelmingly happy he was to be hanging with one of his best buds, his best bud’s boyfriend, and a really dope chick. He hadn’t had a fun game night with the boys-- well, boy, non-binary bro, and a girl-- in a long time and he was hyped for it. “Haha, it’s all good, dude. And hey, no worries. That’s what game night’s for! How are we feeling on games?” He asked as he began to pull out the decks of cards from his bag and set the poker chip set on the table. Looking over at Rio, he grinned, “Oh, you guys came to the club? That’s so dope! Haha, I’m glad that you guys were able to like, connect and stuff! Friction is good for that.” He said with a nod, the innuendo of what he’d said going over his head. Grabbing a Natty, he popped the top and took a long drink before shrugging. “I’m not the kinda guy to kiss and tell,” He laughed and shook his head. He wanted to tell them all about Lydia, how he just… couldn’t get her out of his head. How all his music seemed to be about her. But, now didn’t feel like the right time for him to go all mushy with how much he liked her. “Besides! We’re here to have a good time, not hear about my relationship stuff.”

How Todd maintained his level of unbridled enthusiasm was a mystery to Ariana. Had life just been more kind to him? Was it because he wasn’t caught up in all the supernatural drama of the town? Had death not quite touched him like it had the rest of them? If it had, she certainly couldn’t see it. Tragedy struck her too young to be familiar in the ways of blind optimism, but she always persevered, right? She found little moments worth pushing forward for, like these. It was evident in Winston’s voice that things were taking a toll on them, too. As she prepared the last of the snacks she brought, she placed a comforting hand on their shoulder and gave Winston a meaningful look before following them out into the living room with snacks in tow. It was hard not to laugh along with Todd. He was sure secretive about this older woman he was seeing, which made her a bit weary, but she chalked it up to her own bleak outlook at this moment. With a coy grin, she threw in, “I mean, hearing about your dating life sounds fun to me, but fine, don’t tell us the juicy details. I’m not living vicariously through you.” Maybe she wasn’t, but that thought made her head spin. She didn’t like to think about how she felt about Ace. None of that mattered if she let Lydia kill him and thinking about it only made her sad, so she shook it away and asked, “So what are we starting with first? I’ve only really done board games with y’all, so I’m really game for anything.” 

“I have no idea what you all are talking about, but I’m totally not going to pry into your dating life.” Orion shrugged, trying to feign the same light and airiness that Todd carried himself around with. Though the two weren’t close, and had only just met Rio realized that everyone needed a friend like Todd to keep this optimistic even in the worst of times. Rio just hoped for Todd’s sake that he never had to figure out how difficult things could get here in White Crest. But for the sake of tonight, Rio could try to forget it. Or if nothing else at least ignore it. “Some of us are trying to make good first impressions.” Rio grinned, hoping that by taking Todd’s side he won some points. Though it didn’t seem like it took much for Todd to make friends with someone. He seemed like a pretty personable guy. It was the same attitude that Adam held at times, though Rio was starting to figure out that there was more beneath that surface. “If we play video games, Winston is sure to stomp us all. Not that I’m complaining.” Wait… did that sound suggestive? He coughed into his arm and cleared his throat, trying to change things around, “But uh- we have cards. And board games. And can do anything that doesn’t involve me making a decision. Wow I’m thirsty. I mean parched. I mean… I’m gonna grab water now.”

“Todd is dating a mystery older woman,” they explained to Rio, “but he likes to keep things secret to build tension… apparently.” Winston had to admit that they found it a little strange that they hadn’t heard more about Todd’s girl, but they weren’t one to pry into their friend’s private business, as long as Todd was happy then so was Winston. Especially when he was apparently managing to continue to live a relatively normal life without the interference of any supernatural parties. Something that Winston kind of envied him for. Yet it was very weird that Todd wasn’t telling them more. Normally he liked to show off those that he was dating. Apparently not anymore, but then again maybe this was different. Sharing a brief look with Ariana, Winston felt their stomach flip. They weren’t sure if it was worse that they were having emotions or feeling numb all the time. When they had an overwhelming sense of loss they wanted to feel numb and when they felt numb they didn’t want to feel anything. Swallowing away the lump in their throat, Winston sighed gently. “Whenever you’re ready dude,” Winston assured him quietly, “you know that we all just want to get to know her but … you can’t rush these things.” It had taken Winston a while to admit the same things with Rio. Besides, every relationship was different. “We could start with something like cards against maybe?” Winston wasn’t sure that they really wanted to play anything, but it was games night and they had to make the effort, how were things going to go back to … well whatever normal had been before all of this? 

As he was razzed by the others, Todd couldn’t help but grin sheepishly. It was nice to know that they cared about him-- not that he doubted Winston! He knew that work came first and people had to prioritize their stuff! But, it was still nice, feeling wanted like this. It was the way Lydia made him feel. Man, he wished that he could tell them about her. But, now just wasn’t the time. Maybe he’d have a party! Where he could invite his friends and have them meet Lydia, and he could tell them about how he’d met the lead singer of Ace of Cups. At Rio’s words, he offered a wink, “I like you, dude. I mean, I knew I’d like you given everything Winston’s told me about you, but you’re a good one. Keep this one around, bud!” He said, clapping a hand on Winston’s shoulder and giving him a teasing shake. “I just don’t wanna freak her out! She’s like… super high class and like, half the time we go on dates, I’m just like “wow, she’s so outta my league.”” He said and shrugged. When Winston suggested cards, he nodded. “Sounds good to me! Poker’s fun, but we can also do other games too! Blackjack, BS, I’m up for whatever!”

If Todd preferred to keep his love life a mystery, Ariana could try to understand. Still, something left her feeling uncertain, but she chalked it up to how shit everything had been lately. She hadn’t meant to become this cynical person and she straightened up realizing that Celeste would never have wanted this for her. With a brighter smile that still felt forced, she commented, “Well, whoever this classy mystery woman is, she’s lucky to have you. You’re super fucking cool.” It was hard not to be endeared by Rio’s ever consistent spazzy tendencies. One day, she hoped he felt more sure of himself, but around he seemed to be getting more comfortable with her personally. She’d just have to help take over decision making for him which was hardly difficult. “I don’t know how to play poker, but I do love Cards Against Humanity. There’s no numbers in that one which like, thank god,” she responded dramatically. Her and math were never going to be friends and that was fine by her. “What’s the ridiculous rule for who goes first again?” 

“Don’t make me blush, it happens way too easily!” Orion cried out, but he was laughing as he shied away from Todd’s approval. It was weird, meeting one of Winston’s friends as their boyfriend instead of just being Rio. The two had been part of a connected group of friends, where most of them knew each other before Winston and Rio ever started dating. It was no longer telling the people that he was already friendly with that he and Winston were seeing each other now, but actually meeting someone new while being a couple. It was a small enough difference that it should have been completely inconsequential, however it still sparked excitement in Rio. “I agree. She sounds pretty cool, but you’re definitely a catch.” He had to admit that the two did sound like a semi odd pairing, but Rio didn’t know enough about Todd or this mystery woman to judge either way. As long as the two were happy, Rio didn’t see the problem. “Yay. A game full of sexual innuendos that I totally understand” Rio grinned sarcastically and resigned himself to his fate. He was going to be lobster red from blushing the entire night. At Ariana’s question, Rio groaned hating that he was the one that remembered the rules to this game, “It’s uh- Well I’m pretty sure the official rules say that it was the last one to like… go to the bathroom… number two style.”

Winston swallowed a mouthful of their drink. Why did everything taste kind of shitty now? Everything felt kind of shitty too. Winston felt like their throat always stuck together whenever they swallowed anything like there was a weird lump in it or something. “I guess we’ll all just have to wait in suspense to see what’s she’s like, something to look forward to … right bud?” Winston swallowed, were they convincing enough? Probably not. They were having a good time right? “Even if you don’t understand them Ri now is the time for you to learn right?” Winston chuckled, the sound was hollow and Winston did what they could to ignore that. “I did a number two this morning but I haven’t really had a chance to eat today soooo…. Anyway, anyone been more … regular then me?” 

#wickedswriting #chatzy #chatzy para #p: todd #game night #p: ariana #p: orion

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Dazed and Confused (Part 7)

Summary: Dean Winchester grew up wanting to be a cop. When he gets kicked out of the police academy on a fluke though, he turns to a life of crime. After breaking up with Dean and seeing him committing a crime in the act, the reader becomes an officer herself and eventually a detective. Four years after that day, the reader is sent undercover to figure out what Dean is up to. Only she has no idea how far Dean is willing to go to keep her from finding out the truth…

Pairing: AU!Dean x reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 2,800ish

Warnings: language, scary situations, violence, murder, etc.

A/N: This series has been on Ao3 only for awhile now and I am finally reposting here as well. It’s not new but it may be new to you. Please enjoy!...

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When you got to the hospital, the entire department was there, lingering around the hallways, the side eyed glances you’d gotten just days earlier when people came to visit you all but gone, replaced with apologetic looks.

“Someone is targeting my people,” said John, speaking to the most senior members of the department. “I want everyone on high alert and…Y/N. Sam.”

“Hey dad,” said Sam, John pulling him into a hug, Sam tense at the contact but he could easily pass it off as being worried for his friend. “I heard about Jack.”

“He had an Uncle listed as his emergency contact but we haven’t been able to get in touch with him yet,” said John. “I don’t think the kid has much in the way of family.”

“Yeah he does,” you said, glancing around, John nodding. “What happened?”

“We got a call about an unconscious stabbing vic just down the street from his apartment from a neighbor coming home around 8. He lost a lot of blood. Serious injuries. He might not wake up,” said John, glancing toward the room down the hall.

“Can I see him?” you asked.

“Yeah,” he said, waving Sam along with you. “Just be prepared.”

You grimaced when you turned the corner into his room, seeing Jack hooked up to a million different machines, bandages everywhere on his body.

“Y/N, you have no clue how those drugs got in your system. Someone nearly killed Jack tonight,” said John, turning to Sam. “If you see or hear from your brother, you call the police immediately, understand? Someone is attacking officers and we just helped a federal investigation on him. I can’t think of anyone else that would-”

“Fuck you,” said Sam, storming off down the hall, John going after him. You sighed, knowing Sam was smart enough to keep his mouth shut, no matter how pissed John got him.

“Hey, Jack,” you said quietly, walking over beside the bed, doing your best to think of him as a vic and not a friend. As soon as you got that perspective, you nearly lost it.

His injuries were identical to those on Mary. Maybe the cuts hadn’t been as deep. Maybe John didn’t have time to finish what he started but it didn’t matter. You’d stared at her file enough the past day that you knew whoever attacked Jack killed Mary.

“Hang in there, Jackie,” you said, patting the top of his head. “We’re going to get him. I promise.”

Out in the hall, Sam looked like he’d settled down, John looking calmer as they spoke quietly.

“Everything alright out here?” you said.

“Dean is our number one suspect. I’d like if you were on protective duty for Sam,” said John, Sam rolling his eyes. “Something you want to say, Sam?”

“No, sir,” muttered Sam, glancing at you and then the ground.

“Keep him in your sight at all times,” said John. “Please.”

“What are you going to do?” you asked.

“Bobby and the senior boys will work the scene. Everyone else we’ll send out on a manhunt. Check old buildings, out buildings, abandoned businesses...Dean’s got to be around here somewhere,” said John.

“I’ll keep Sam safe,” you said.

“Take him back to your apartment. Sam, you do exactly what Y/N says, got it?” asked John.

“Yes, sir,” said Sam, walking towards the elevators without you, John scoffing.

“He has no idea how hard this is for me. He just thinks I hate his brother,” said John. “I’m only trying to keep him and everyone else safe.”

“I’ll talk to him,” you said, John nodding his head. “Can you post someone here at the hospital? For Jack?”

“Yeah,” said John. “We’ll make sure whoever did that doesn’t come back.”

“Thanks,” you said, meeting Sam at the elevator, Sam shaking when the doors were shut.

“Y/N,” said Sam with a croak.

“We’ll stop your dad, I promise,” you said.

“What if Jack dies?” he said in a whisper. “He should have been with us. The runt was no match for dad. Hell, our dad killed his dad.”

“Sam,” you said, grabbing his hand. “I need you to calm down for me. The doctor’s will do what they can for Jack and he’s tough. We need to stay focused, keep ourselves safe and give Dean a heads up to find a better hiding place.”

“How are you so calm?” asked Sam.

“I’m going to take care of you, that’s why,” you said, Sam taking a few deep breaths. “We aren’t going back to my apartment Sam. Your dad must have gotten the knife to go after Jack with.”

“We know exactly where it is,” said Sam. “But wouldn’t he have made it look like Dean did it?”

“Yeah, which is why we need that knife. If he doesn’t have it, he can’t incriminate Dean,” you said. “At least not concretely.”

“How do we stop dad?” asked Sam.

“One problem at a time, Sam,” you said. “Now buck up. We got a job to do still.”

“Where the hell is it?” asked Sam, both of you staring dumbfounded at Dean’s room.

“I don’t…” you said, the sound of a door opening downstairs shutting you both up.

“It’s me,” said Dean, holding up his hands as you went to the top of the stairs. He lowered them when he saw you cocking your head. “Dad’s not going to check his own house for me.”

“Go to my apartment,” you said. “Hide out there. It’s safer.”

“Any luck finding it?” asked Dean.

“No. He might have it on him still. Go now Dean. We’ll do one last check and meet you there,” you said. Dean was out of the house quickly, Sam sighing as he lay on Dean’s old bed. “Sammy, we should get going soon too.”

“We both know Dad was after me. You could walk away from this,” said Sam, sitting up with a short smile. “Just go and be safe from our crap.”

“Sam,” you said, grabbing his hand, pulling him to his feet. “I got crap too. I’m not leaving my boys.”

“Do you have a father that murdered your mother? Tried to murder you?” asked Sam with a scoff.

“Actually, yeah,” you said. Sam blinked down at you, shaking his head. “Not the time or place but yes Sam. I understand. Now let’s go.”

Sam was quiet the whole way back to your apartment, Dean poking his head out from your bedroom with a tiny wave when you got there.

“Your apartment’s nice,” said Dean.

“You climb up the fire escape?” you asked. Dean nodded, Sam going straight for your liquor cabinet and pulling out a bottle. “Easy Sammy. We’re still on red alert.”

“Did she tell you her dad’s a psycho too?” said Sam, Dean pursing his lips.

“A while ago, yeah,” said Dean. “I told you mom was your fault to keep you away. I told her the same thing pretty much.”

“Only difference is…” you said, reaching for the bottle, keeping it away from Sam.

“You don’t have to tell this story, Y/N,” said Dean.

“It’s Sam,” you said with a smile. “It’s okay.”

“So what did happen?” asked Sam, hopping up on your counter, watching you slide into a barstool, Dean doing the same.

“My dad just snapped one day. We never saw it coming. He brought us down to the basement, killed her, tried to kill me and...I killed him before he got the chance,” you said.

“You...you killed him?” asked Sam.

“I might have been just a kid but a gun’s a gun,” you said. “It was self-defense but...shit stays with you.”

“But you seem so...normal,” said Sam.

“I wasn’t going to let that asshole ruin my life,” you said. “You guys aren’t going to let your dad ruin yours either.”

“Sammy, get some rest,” said Dean, stealing his undrunk glass away.

“Dean,” he said, Dean pouring the alcohol back in the bottle, putting it on the shelf. “Dean.”

“No booze from anybody. We got to be sharp and that means rest. You two have barely slept in days,” said Dean, grabbing Sam by the arm and tugging him over to your couch.

“Seriously? Now you’re going big brother on me?” asked Sam.

“Yup,” said Dean, pushing Sam down on the couch, pulling off his shoes and tossing them by the front door. He grabbed a blanket from nearby, threw it over Sam and moved one of your kitchen chairs behind your door.

“Dean, come on, I’m-”

“Sleep, Sammy,” said Dean, ruffling his hair, shutting off the light. “Come on, Y/N. Your turn.”

“Night, Sam,” you said, walking down the hall to your room, Dean smiling at you. “I don’t need to get tucked into bed.”

“I was hoping you’d let me crash in here with you. I haven’t slept on a mattress in over a week,” he said.

“Yeah,” you said, patting his old side of the bed before you moved around, shredding your clothes and throwing on your pajama shirt, Dean cocking his head when you spun around to find him in his boxers and shirt. “What?”

“Is that mine?” he asked.

“Your shirts were always comfy,” you said, crawling into bed, Dean laying on top of the covers. “Dude, get under.”

“Is that appropriate?” he asked.

“We used to have sex. All the time. We can sleep under the same covers, Dean,” you said. He shifted around until he was underneath, his leg brushing up against yours as he chuckled. He moved his foot on top of yours.

“Your feet are still freezing,” he said.

“Some things didn’t change,” you said. He nodded and pulled his foot away, sliding to the edge of the bed, turning his back to you. “I forgive you.”

“What?” he said, turning onto his back, twisting his head to face yours.

“I forgive you. For what you said. For what you did. I understand and I forgive you,” you said.

“I don’t accept,” said Dean, your hand catching his arm. “I’ll never forgive myself for destroying your lives.”

“If you’d never joined the FBI, Sam and I wouldn’t have done what we did. Your dad would have gotten away with what he did and maybe one day you’d wake up with Sam gone and your dad having pinned it all on you. What would we have done then?” you asked.

“I don’t know,” said Dean, staring up at the ceiling, quiet for a long time before he spoke again. “Why do you always have to do that? Make me feel better when I just want to feel like shit?”

“It’s a skill,” you said, finding his hand and interlacing your fingers with his. “This morning, before Jack showed up...I wanted to talk to you...about us.”

“What about us?” he asked, not bothering to look at you.

“Did you maybe want to try again?” you asked.

“You know the answer to that,” said Dean.

“I asked what you want,” you said.

“I told you,” he said.

“No you didn’t,” you said.

“I am not the same person I was,” he said.

“Neither am I,” you said.

“You don’t know me,” he said.

“Deep down I do,” you said.

“Do you have any idea how screwed up I am? I’m not normal anymore,” he said.

“When have any of us ever been normal? We fit because we aren’t normal. I can deal with your crap. You can deal with mine,” you said.

“I can’t protect you,” he said.

“It’s not your job,” you said.

“Yes, it is,” he said, finally twisting his head around. “No one ever protected you.”

“No one protected you,” you said. “Are we going to do this all night, Dean? I get it. You’re different. But why did you come to me in the first place? You trusted me. If you’re going to protect me, I’m going to protect you.”

“Jack’s dying in a hospital bed. Sammy’s on his hit list. You might be next. Sam was right. I never should have brought you into this,” said Dean, swallowing thickly. “Leave and be safe. I’ll take care of Sam. We’ll find a way to catch dad. It’s not your fight, Y/N.”

You flung yourself out of bed and went to your closet, Dean sitting up, probably half-hoping you were packing up a bag and leaving. Instead you pulled out a box you’d debated throwing away half a dozen times but never could. You tore off the lid, pulling out the envelope and letter on top, tossing them over at Dean.

“Do you remember that?” you asked, Dean squinting his eyes in the dim light.

“Where did you find this?” he asked, shoving the letter back in the envelope, handing it back over.

“You packed up so quickly you forgot about that,” you said, putting the letter back in its place. “I didn’t find it until a few months later when I moved out. It was behind your dresser.”

“It’s just a letter, Y/N,” said Dean.

“No. It’s not,” you said. “Why would you write a letter like that and hide it from me? You were never good at the big romantic speeches, that’s why. You had to write it down, cross things out, make it perfect until you had it memorized and could pull it out when you finally got up the courage to ask.”

“It’s been four years,” he said. “People change.”

“I bet you could recite it word for word right now,” you said.

“I’m not-”

“You were in love with me. You wanted to marry me. You wrote a damn speech, Dean. You’re right, it’s been years. All I am asking, all I want to know right now, is if you want to start over. Do you want to try and be happy again?” you asked.

He was rigid, eyes focused on his lap but the smallest nod of his head made you crawl back into bed with him.

“Alright,” you said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, pulling him flush against you. He was like putty, the tension out of his body once and for all, his head resting on your pillow, nose brushed against yours.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“I know, baby,” you said, Dean wincing like the name burned him. “It’ll be okay.”

“We need to sleep,” he said, nuzzling his body closer to yours like he could hide away in it.

“Go ahead. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Except when you woke up about six hours later, Dean was shaking you awake, hands covered in blood.

“Y/N,” said Dean, voice trembling. “S-Sammy…”

You shot out of bed, Sam taking ragged breaths on your blood covered couch.

“C-Call the police,” said Dean, shoving your cell phone in your hands. “G-Get him s-safe.”

“What-”

“I heard, I thought S-Sammy was up, so I got up to check and I saw...it had to be dad. T-Through the fire escape. He took off,” said Dean, throwing on his clothes. “I gotta run. I gotta...I gotta stop dad. No matter what. I gotta stop him.”

“Dean,” you said, watching as he ran over to Sam, running a hand over his head.

“You’re gonna be okay, Sammy,” said Dean. “Nothing bad is going to happen.”

“You t-think I’m gonna d-die or something,” coughed out Sam with a smile. “Go. Y/N’s g-got this. You just stop…”

“I will,” said Dean. “Y/N. Watch your fucking back until I end this once and for all.”

“Dean. If you kill...you’re giving him what he wants…” you said.

“I’ll catch him. Call an ambulance. Now. I’ll...I’ll call you when I got him cornered.”

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A/N: Read Part 8 here!

#supernatural #spn #dean x reader #dean winchester #au #spn fanfiction #series