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#love drugs not hugs
psykopaths · 5 months
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I can't get enough of you, You taste so fucking good,
Just like honey I'd bottle you up If I could.
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piratekane · 1 month
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Kate pauses, the coffee pot titled over her to-go mug as the freshly-brewed dark roast starts to fill it. “Another undercover assignment? For both of us?” Lucy carefully takes the pot from Kate, leveling it off before all 8 ounces end up on the counter. “Cool, right? A joint undercover operation. Thelma and Lousie, teaming up to take on the bad guys.”
i do, you do, we do - the imagined opening and closing scenes of NCIS: Hawai'i season 3, episode 4 (aka The Newlyweds episode).
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sneetsnootyoit · 1 year
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In His Bed
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Dieter Bravo x gn!Reader
Summary: When you started working as Dieter Bravo's stylist, you were prepared for a diva with a drug problem. That's what you expected. You figured all you would be needed for was prepping him for awards shows and interviews, and occasionally used on movie sets. What you weren’t expecting was to find yourself in bed with him on more than one occasion, none of those occasions having anything to do with sex.
Warnings and shit: Drug use (obviously, it's Dieter), slight tiny bit of angst, lots of fluff, swearing, bad trip, mention of throwing up, alcohol use, crying NO USE OF Y/N
Word count: 4k
When you started working as Dieter Bravo's stylist, you were prepared for a diva with a drug problem. That's what you expected. You figured all you would be needed for was prepping him for awards shows and interviews, and occasionally used on movie sets. What you weren’t expecting was to find yourself in bed with him on more than one occasion, none of those occasions having anything to do with sex.
When you were hired, you had to give Dieter your phone number. You didn't think much of it, since he was your boss and not some creep at a bar asking for your number. At first, he only ever contacted you when he needed you to get him ready for an event, and every so often he'd ask you to get him styled up for a date (if he really wanted to get laid). When covid hit, he didn’t have a lot of excuses to go out, and he resorted to bothering his staff. Well, that’s what some of the other people on Dieter’s team considered it to be. You didn’t really mind it. It started off annoying, but eventually became just part of your job. You could even go as far as to say that you and Dieter started to become friends. Something you learned quickly was that Dieter hated calling people on the phone. Something about brainwaves. So when you got a call from him at three in the morning, you knew something was up. And this was how you ended up in his bed for the first time.
When you answered the phone, he called out your name in a trembling, whispered voice. He said something else you couldn't quite discern, and you pressed the phone closer to your ear.
"I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. Could you please repeat that, Mr. Bravo?" You replied blearily, trying not to sound annoyed.
"I fucked up. Need help."
That woke you up a little more; enough to make you perplexed as to why Dieter was calling you instead of Greg, his PA. "What? Sir, I'm sure Gr-"
"He quit. I called him and he quit. Please," he begged, sounding frightened. You'd never heard him sound that way.
“Where are you?”
He gave you the address and you typed it into your GPS, assuring him that you’d be there soon. You threw on a hoodie and some sweats, grabbed your keys, and headed out into the night. When you pulled up, you put the car in park and got out. It was a huge house in a neighborhood of other huge houses, and there were colored lights shining through the windows. You could hear the faint thrum of music from inside the house and the chattering of people inside. You looked around as you approached the door and you spotted Dieter huddled behind a car, looking like an animal hiding from a predator.
“Mr. Bravo?” You said quietly, walking slowly towards him. His head whipped around and his terrified eyes met yours. He was breathing heavily and clutching his jacket to himself tightly. “I’m here to take you home. You called me, remember?”
He nodded slowly, but didn’t move, so you helped him get up and walked him over to your car. When you began driving away, you watched him out of the corner of your eye, trying to figure out exactly what was going on. You’d never seen him this way, and you knew he wasn’t an overly paranoid person. He looked truly afraid, and you wanted to get him somewhere he could feel safe as soon as you could. You weren’t exactly speeding as you drove to Dieter’s house, but you weren’t following the speed limit either. Once you’d pulled up to his oversized house, you helped him inside and brought him to his bedroom, depositing him onto his bed with a sigh. Is this what Greg had to deal with? Maybe that’s why he quit… You turned to leave when Dieter grabbed your arm, hand shaking.
“Don’t leave me alone,” he begged, trying to pull you back toward him.
“Jesus, what did you take?” You asked, brushing his hand away and facing him. In the light of his bedroom, you could see just how dilated his eyes were, telling you he was definitely high on something.
“I…it was something new,” he murmured, and he started looking very pale. “I don’t-”
Before he could finish his sentence, his eyes widened and he made a beeline for the bathroom. You didn’t follow, mostly because you thought it would be inappropriate, then you heard the sound of him throwing up and you cringed. Instead of going to check on him, you went to his kitchen to grab a couple bottles of water, and you made sure the doors were locked. When you went back to his bedroom, you could hear Dieter calling for you from the bathroom.
“Sorry, I went to grab you some-”
“You left meeee” He groaned, slumped over the toilet with drool dripping down his chin and onto his shirt. He looked pathetic, and you honestly felt bad for him. You grabbed a couple washcloths from the linen closet in the bathroom, tucking one in your pocket and wetting the other. You walked over to him and flushed the toilet before you leaned over and wiped his face with the wet cloth. It was like caring for a child, and you honestly felt bad for him.
“You done in here or do you think there’s another round?” You used the dry end to clean his face a bit more before you opened one of the waters and held it up to his mouth, urging him to drink.
He only grunted in response as he slowly sipped the water, one arm hanging limp at his side while the other was draped over the toilet bowl, meaning you had to hold the bottle for him. You were about to ask him another question when he lurched forward and hung his head over the toilet, retching loudly while he gripped the edges of the porcelain for dear life. You shuddered at the sound and closed the water bottle, setting everything next to the bathroom sink. “Hold my hair,” Dieter gasped out, making you shake your head.
You knew what he meant, but it was still funny to hear. You approached him and brushed the hair away from his forehead, holding it back gently as his body expelled whatever it was that he took. After a while, he was reduced to just dry heaving, and when his body slumped over again, you cleaned his face and helped him get to his bed (you carried him). You helped him change into more comfortable clothes and actually put him to bed before you tried to leave again, and Dieter called out your name. “Don’t go…please.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to be alone…I want you to stay,” he admitted softly, and it made your chest tighten. He reached out for you and you sighed, taking your shoes off so you could sit next to him on his bed. He didn’t seem satisfied by that, though, and you quirked an eyebrow at him. “Will you…”
“Will I what?”
Dieter seemed hesitant to say what he wanted to say, and he reached out to you, gripping your hoodie and trying to pull you closer to him. It gave you an idea of what he wanted, and you scooted closer to him. He moved his blankets so you would also be under them, and he moved himself closer to you, letting out a shaky breath. You cautiously wrapped an arm around his shoulders and he seemed to relax, fully leaning into you while he laid his head on your chest. You had to hold in the urge to laugh or chuckle, because never in your life did you think Dieter Bravo would be asking you to cuddle with him.
“So…something new?” Dieter nodded and shivered against you, making you instinctually bring him closer. “Bad trip?” He nodded again and you sighed, moving a hand to rest on his head without thinking. You didn’t realize you’d started running your fingers through his hair until you felt him physically melt against you and his breathing started to slow down.
“Fuckin’ scary. Definitely not taking that shit again,” he mumbled, leaning into your touch. You stopped when you realized, and his breath hitched. “I didn’t say you had to stop…please, don’t stop.”
You paused before you began carding your fingers through his hair again and you wrapped your other arm around him, hugging him closer. “Are you okay?” You’d heard things about bad trips and how scary they could be.
“I will be…haven’t had a bad trip in a while.” Dieter looked like he felt at home in your arms, but you could also tell that he was holding something back. “I lied, y’know…”
“Oh yeah? What about?”
“I didn’t call Greg. He didn’t quit…I just…I wanted you to come get me.”
That surprised you, and you looked down at him with an expression that matched. “Why? I’m not-”
“Because I like you…you’re nice to me.”
“You like me?” You asked incredulously, and Dieter looked at you, the thought crossing his mind that he may have made a mistake. He began trying to think of ways to explain his way out of the situation and blame it on the drugs, but before he could say anything else, you simply used the hand in his hair to push his head back down and you kissed him on his forehead. “I like you too,” you whispered, closing your eyes.
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You weren't expecting to fall asleep with your boss in your arms, but it happened, and you were startled when you woke up in a bed that wasn’t yours. You had to replay the previous night in your head to make sure it wasn't just a dream, but then you noticed that your boss was still there, asleep in your arms.
He’s really cute when he’s asleep, you thought to yourself as you looked down at him. He looked calm and at peace. Something that you're not sure you ever got to see. You always wondered why he relied so heavily on drugs. Maybe you could ask him. You stayed that way for a while, just admiring him as he slept. You didn’t think much farther than that, so when Dieter awoke to you staring at him like he's the best thing you'd ever seen, he shot upright and looked at you like you were some bizarre fan who had broken in.
"What the fuck?! What are you doing in my bed?!"
You were startled by this and you moved back, furrowing your brows. "You asked me to stay with you, that's why. The fuck?"
"Why the fuck would I do that?" He spat, seemingly offended by the very idea that he would do such a thing.
"Because you went to a party, got too fucked up, had a bad trip, and called me to come pick you up. You said 'stay with me please' so I did. You said you wanted someone who would bring you comfort, and you told me that you liked me. And obviously you were so high out of your fucking mind that you forgot all of that shit," you spat back defensively, catching him off guard.
"I said that?" He asked, taken aback.
"Yeah. You told me that you didn’t call Greg because you wanted me instead…my apologies, I should have left as soon as you fell asleep and let you be alone. I'll be on my way. Hopefully we can forget this happened, that way I can keep my job," you replied, quickly removing yourself from the bed to find your shoes. You slid them on and began making your way through the house to the front door, taking deep breaths to keep yourself calm.
You didn’t expect Dieter to follow you, and you didn’t know he did until he called out for you and grabbed your wrist, turning you around to face him. "Listen, I-"
"Don’t. I understand. We all say things we don't mean while under the influence."
"But I did mean it. I…fuck, this wasn't supposed to happen. Not like this. I'm sorry, just- can we start over?"
"'Start over'? Start what over? This morning? Or everything? Because that would be a lot."
"Just this morning."
"Okay, fine." You weren’t sure what to expect when you agreed, but you were willing to try. You really didn't want to lose your job.
"Thank you for last night…" Dieter murmured, reaching for your hand. You almost pulled it back, but you allowed him to take it, and he studied it for a moment. "Are you hungry?"
"Huh?"
"I asked if you were-"
"No, I know! But why? I helped you, I did what you wanted. So now is the part where I leave, right?" You didn't want to risk opening yourself up to the thought that something happened between the two of you that night. You needed to get out of there before you ended up falling for him more than you already had.
"Because I don't want you to leave yet. This house is always so empty…it's nice to have another person here…especially when that person is you."
Fuck, that sounds so sad.
"Please stay. Let me get you breakfast. We can…talk. Just talk, you know?"
"Who are you and what have you done with my boss?" You asked jokingly. He looked hurt, and you realized that he was actually letting himself be vulnerable in front of you and you were shooting him down. You sighed and placed your free hand on his hip to pull him closer to you, wrapping your arms around him and placing a hand on the back of his head. "You really mean that shit, don't you?"
He nodded against your shoulder and you sighed again, leaning your head against his. "I want to stay like this forever," Dieter replied, so quiet you almost didn't hear him. "I'd give anything to stay like this."
"So, what? You'd give up meaningless sex with random people in exchange for being cuddled?"
"By you? Yeah."
You weren't expecting his response, but it made you feel warm inside, and your breath hitched when you tried to inhale deeply. Dieter tilted his head up to look at you, your eyes meeting briefly before you noticed his eyes flitting between yours and your lips. You hummed and leaned your face closer to his, kissing him softly. He fully leaned into the kiss and you could feel his whole body relax against you, just like last night. When you parted, you looked into his eyes again and smiled.
"So, breakfast?" He asked, nose brushing against yours.
"Yeah, breakfast."
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Over the next few months, Dieter started to open up to you more, sharing details about his personal life and how things were before he got famous. At first, you were confused as to why he was sharing all these things with you, but after a particularly fancy dinner at his house, you realized that this was his attempt at dating. When you breached the subject with him, for the first time, you actually saw him get flustered. It was cute. But he confirmed your suspicion, and when he asked if that was okay, you told him it was. That was how you ended up dating your boss.
It was actually really nice. And you began to notice how he started to change. He did less drugs, and he stopped day drinking. It seemed like he was trying to be better for you, and when you told him you were proud of him for it, he nearly cried. He was hoping you'd notice.
The next time you ended up in his bed, it was after a red carpet event. You started offering your work to other celebrities for some extra money, and Dieter didn't seem to mind as long as you kept him looking good. It was a pretty great arrangement, and you were highly praised for your work.
Whenever Dieter had to travel for these events, he always booked you a separate room, but one that was close to his so you could go see each other after the events were over. You both knew how people loved to speculate about everything, and he didn’t want the paparazzi to catch on to your relationship. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of you, he just wanted you to be able to keep your privacy. Whenever you styled people for events, you usually didn’t accompany the actors to the event, but Dieter wanted you to be there for this one. You had to get three other actors ready after you finished up with Dieter, and afterwards, he insisted that you put on something nice so you could go with him.
When you arrived at the venue, you were practically buzzing with nerves, and Dieter tried to calm you as best he could while in a public setting. You still had no idea why he brought you. When it came time to start walking through and do the interviews, the first question people asked him was who you were. He introduced you by your first name only, and made a show of his outfit. "This is my wonderful stylist. They're the one keeping me so pretty for these things."
You beamed under the praise, and the interviewers seemed shocked. A few of them wanted to speak with you, mostly about how it was styling someone as eccentric as Dieter, and you tried to keep the details as vague as possible. Dieter deserved privacy too.
As the night went on, you were able to get a little taste of what actually went on at these events. It was pretty fun, but you kept to the side since none of it was really about you. Most people had no idea who you were, and that worked to your advantage until you remembered that with great praise over your work, also came hate. You always considered yourself to be someone who could take constructive criticism well, but what you heard wasn't what you were expecting.
Those who weren't making comments about how great you were at your job were talking shit, even going as far as to insult you for things that weren't even related. People accused you of sleeping with people to get booked as a stylist, and said that you put more effort into Dieter than you did any of the other actors who paid you to make them look good. One of them was someone you had styled for the event. You realized that half of the people you styled didn't even know your name. After a while, the hate seemed to overpower the praise that was floating through the air, and you decided that you couldn't take it anymore. You texted Dieter that you were leaving to go back to the hotel, and the driver would bring him back when the event finished up. Instead of going to your room, though, you went to Dieter’s. He had given you his extra key, and you knew that hotel staff always kept the celebrities' rooms stocked well.
As soon as you crossed the threshold of Dieter’s room, you started crying. You'd been holding back all of your emotions since you overheard the first few hateful words. You collapsed to the floor and stayed there for a while, stifling your sobs behind your hand just in case people walked by. After you'd managed to get your sobs under control, you got up and went to where Dieter kept his clothes. He never seemed to notice when you took his clothes, and if he did, he never said anything. You almost tore your clothes as you rushed to take them off, wanting to get into something comfortable as soon as you could. You took a t-shirt and a pair of sweats from Dieter's bag and put them on, eyeing the container he kept his weed in and the bag of 'brownies' he'd put in there before leaving for the event. You headed over to the mini-bar to make yourself a drink. You pulled out a few of the small bottles of liquor and opened them up, downing them immediately. You wanted to forget, and the only way you could think of that would aid you in doing so was getting fucked up. You took a few more bottles and went over to Dieter’s bed, once again looking at the edibles he had brought along. After a few more drinks, you reached the point of 'fuck it' and you took one of them, not thinking about how much he might’ve put in it, and you ate the entire thing. It wasn’t big, but you didn't think about how Dieter might put a shit ton of weed in his brownies. Luckily for you, he didn’t, but it was still enough to give you a comfortable high that left you feeling like you were floating. You had a few more drinks before your emotions hit you again and you curled up in Dieter’s bed crying quietly.
You were so out of it, you didn't hear your phone blowing up with texts, and you didn't hear Dieter come into the hotel room. You didn’t even know he was there until he was cupping your face in his hands and saying your name over and over.
"Hey, c'mon, answer me," he said softly, wiping your tears away with his thumbs.
"Mmm," you responded, hiccuping as you leaned into his touch. "What time is it?"
"About 1," he murmured, toeing off his shoes and climbing into the bed with you.
"Youuuu're missing the parties," you slurred, trying, and failing to look up at him.
"Rachel made me go to at least one of them, but I left early." Rachel was his publicist, and usually Dieter went to all the after-parties that happened when he went to an event. And he'd always return to the hotel fucked-up. It didn't occur to you that he left early because he was worried about you. "What happened? You didn't answer any of my texts."
"Was busy."
"Doing what?" He asked hesitantly, a little worm of insecurity crawling into his brain.
"This," you gestured around the room, trying to point out the bottles and crumbs from the brownie.
Dieter looked around, then his eyes fell to the drinks and crumbs. "Did you eat one of my edibles and get drunk?"
You nodded and he snorted in disbelief, under the impression that you were just an emotional drunk. He, himself, was high, and had no idea what you'd been dealing with. "Overwhelmed by the people?" He asked, pulling you close to him while you sniffled and shook your head.
"They hate me."
"What? No-"
"I heard so much…they think I fuck around for work and that I don't put effort in my job because I favor you," you told him in a quivering voice, holding back another onslaught of sobs. "Someone said they think I'm a shit stylist and you probably only keep me around for sex."
"What the fuck? Who said that?" Dieter demanded, raising your chin to make you look at him.
"I don't know, it was all overheard…stuff people said as they passed by." You pushed down a sob and gripped his suit jacket tightly. You didn't care if the provider got pissed off. You'd come up with an excuse later.
"Listen to me," Dieter said firmly, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Don't listen to those assholes, 'kay? You're fucking amazing. You make me look like a fucking god. If they can't appreciate your skill and how awesome you are, they can go fuck themselves."
You wished you could be comforted by Dieter’s words, but your thoughts were still swarming your brain and you were stuck in a fog. Dieter could see you were stuck, and he began pressing kisses down your face while he held you close, stroking your cheek with his thumb. He made sure he kissed every inch of your face, making you scrunch up your nose and giggle softly. Your lips were the last place he kissed, and he lingered there, allowing you to melt into him. His hands roamed your body in a comforting way, not grabbing or fondling, just exploring and caressing. "You deserve the world," he murmured, making your heart skip a beat. He'd never said anything like that, and you let out a quiet gasp. "You're perfect."
"Dieter," you whispered, catching his attention. He hummed in response and you pressed your forehead to his. There were words hanging in the air between you, and you didn't know if you were quite ready to say them, or if Dieter was ready to hear them.
"Yeah, me too," he responded, kissing you gently.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Amazing."
IF YOU WANNA SEE MY SHIT IT'S ON AO3 >HERE<
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krikeymate · 1 year
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I’ve been thinking about Hyde!Wednesday, who has no idea what lurks beneath her skin. Her family has suspicions, they’ve always known there was something special about Wednesday, even for an Addams, but they’ve never thought to investigate too hard. After all, whatever it is will come out eventually, and they will love her just the same when it does. And if Fester recalls a section of a curious little book he read once upon a time, that’s stuck in his mind where all else has been forgotten, who can say why.
In the aftermath of Crackstone, Wednesday finds herself unsettled. There is a sense of wrongness, like a word on the tip of her tongue that never reveals itself, everything appears to have shifted slightly to the left, and nobody but her can tell. Wednesday hasn’t felt like herself since she stumbled from the school gates and was bowled over by a pink blur. Somehow, having Enid in her arms had felt right, and leaving them wrong.
Her world has turned upside down.
Wednesday has always been quiet, she thrives in the silence, but since she’s been home it remains just a little too quiet. It’s too easy to forget she’s home at all, her family finds. She no longer shies away from their contact, not from acceptance, oh no, she doesn’t even acknowledge it at all. Sometimes they will speak to her and it’s like she is a thousand miles away, unseeing, unhearing.
A rare moment of presentness has Morticia teasing her, perhaps her mind is with someone else, perhaps emotions are involved. No. Emotions are not the cause of this haunting in her mind, Wednesday knows. She had already come to terms with having developed feelings: chastisement for Xavier, protection for Eugene, respect for Bianca, and don’t even get her started on the affection for her roommate. No, Wednesday can recognise those, and has them locked away, so what is this consuming her?
#/mp#Wednesday Netflix#Wenclair#my writing tag#the tags tag#in this everything in s1 is actually canon and everyone has 0 idea at the time#maybe there is Hyde blood in the Addams line. maybe it doesn't need to be genetic. don't think about it too hard#what i'm getting at here is that wednesday's hyde was activated by a traumatic event. crackstone. and her hyde imprints on enid with the hug#wednesday had already developed feelings for her at this point and was ignoring them so no weirdness about that#wednesday be like im never going to fall in love and then have twice the capacity for obsession#S2 is the stalker - who KNOWS - trying to be the one to unlock her hyde and be her master. not knowing its already too late.#the stalker makes the stupid decision to take enid to get to wednesday. she drugs her. injured her. strings her up. and waits#enid - angry at herself for letting this happen - had tried so hard to fight against the drugs in her system. but it was useless.#she was useless. she didn't mean to say it but there was she was in so much pain. she whimpers wednesday...help#and something changes in Wednesday's eyes. and then with Wednesday.#and then wednesday as her hyde kills the stalker to protect enid in a nice parallel to wolf enid attacking tyler!hyde to protect wednesday#terrified moment once the deed is done where enid thinks she's going to die. but hyde!w just gently frees her from her bonds#and looks to her for more orders. and enid reaches out her shaking hand and cups her face and asks for wednesday back
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napping-sapphic · 2 months
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<3 storm hugs 🫂 (if u want em)
Thank you for the storm hugs!!! 🫂🫂🫂😭😭❤️❤️❤️!!!!
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theood · 2 months
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I'll be fine but this was the first thing that's gotten me to cry. I wish everything was different. It shouldn't have been like this
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euesworld · 2 years
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"Love and kisses, kisses and hugs.. come and cuddle with me darling cause you are my fav drug."
I could use a little of you wrapped up in a warm blanket - eUë
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evillillad · 6 months
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BBUUH i just want it to be saturday so i can see mr. fweddy fazbear or or or or orrorroror and also gorge myself on ramen and beef sushi mmmm yummy
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evanbuckleyrecs · 6 months
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Title: Sweet Tooth
Written by: inkinmyheartandonthepage
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV)
Relationship: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Bobby Nash, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Howie "Chimney" Han, Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Additional Tags: Flufftober2023, Flufftober 2023, drugged Evan "Buck" Buckley, Established Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley Needs A Hug, Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Soft Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Eddie Diaz Takes Care of Evan "Buck" Buckley,Evan "Buck" Buckley Loves Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley is a Sweetheart, Evan "Buck" Buckley and Eddie Diaz Are In Love, Comforting Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Caring Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Family Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, One Shot, Complete
Words: 1624
Summary:
“He’s my partner?” Buck slurred loudly around the cotton wads in his mouth, staring straight at Eddie. His hand was tugging on the sleeve of Hen’s shirt like a small child tugging at their mother’s clothes. Hen was too busy smothering her laughter to bat his hand away. His eyes widened and a blood grin stretched his lips. “I hit the jackpot.”
Eddie shot Bobby a betrayed looked when their captain failed to cover his laughter.
OR
Buck gets hurt on a call and drugged up, he blurts out his love for Eddie in front of the whole team.
My notes: this is sooo fluffy and sweet!!! Ahh, I want to reread it again. I loved it so much 🥰🥰🥰🥰
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warren-your-friend · 1 year
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why does warren have a needle? in his bag he has a needle. if its not for transitioning what is it then
Ah-
Heroine?
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bhaalborn · 8 months
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Pspspspsps
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I did not get traumatized by the DARE campaign back in 2008 for me to put my age in my bio. Y’all just gonna have to trust me on this.
Anyway- I reblog a lot of fandoms, fun stuff, dumb stuff, etc.
And if you see a random fanfic, don’t mind that. 3am me wrote that and I don’t know her. All fanfics all written and posted immediately btw, no beta we die like men here.
Fic MasterPost
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artist-issues · 2 years
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Hey so I just figured something out and I am not going to be afraid to say it. Maybe it was obvious to everybody else but (and I haven’t seen past Massacre at Hawkins Lab yet)
ST4 is all about not running from your issues. Because El has to “‘choose to stop running” in order to remember what happened at Hawkins Lab and get her powers back, and Max has to stop running and actually fight back against Vecna so she can choose to run toward her friends instead of away from them like shes been doing all semester. Those are kinda obvious.
But you know what I didn’t pick up on?
Eddie. I mean, I picked up on the fact that he’s ashamed of running from the cops and the danger and Chrissy. That is not subtle. But the thing I did not notice is that…maybe Stranger Things 4 is saying something about drugs, other than just “ha ha, look, high teenagers.”  Because as a dear friend of mine pointed out, if you get inside Eddie’s head, all he really wants is to be more like Steve and less like the coward who runs from his problems. In Season 1, Steve chooses not to run away from the Demogorgon and go back to help Nancy. Eddie is surrounded by people who keep running toward the danger to help instead of away from it.
But Eddie himself is met with Chrissy, who is freaking out and clearly going through something. And he does decide to help her…run away. He doesn’t ask her “what do you mean, you feel crazy? Let’s talk about what is bugging you and get to the bottom of it.” Because that isn’t as empathetic as agreeing that he feels crazy too, I get it. But what I’m saying is, while he did want to help, he didn’t bother helping her DO SOMETHING about her issues. He wanted to help her deal with her issues the way he does: by not dealing with them.
By “self-medicating” so she doesn’t have to think about the nasty stuff.
When instead, just like the actual Bible says, you can’t win against bad thoughts by running from them. You have to replace them with good things. (Yeah, I’m going there.) 
I may not like the comedy-beat WAY Stranger Things 4 is doing it, but they’re basically saying “‘getting high is running from the problem, not dealing with it.” They’re saying it super loud with Jonathan. He’s in California, so in his relationship with Nancy, he can’t do what he does best: be THERE for her. That’s Jonathan’s relational superpower, other than straight-up selflessness. So he runs from that problem, that lack of a comfort zone, by getting high with his new buddy Argyle and refusing to deal with it.
And it is treated like a comedy beat and it is out of character because they didn’t really build up to how Jonathan got there. But it makes the same point. Eddie must be wondering, if Max could be saved from Vecna’s curse, and (hopefully) we’re about to see Steve, the guy Eddie is already jealous of, save Nance, could he have saved Chrissy? I mean, we already know there are parts of his brain thinking that from how he keeps belittling himself for running away.  He’s just as smart as Dustin Henderson, and definitely has just as big ran arsenal of Dungeons & Dragons knowledge to help him understand the supernatural. If he wasn’t the kind of person who runs from issues instead of dealing with them, by using drugs, then would his compassion have looked different when Chrissy came to him? Would he have maybe tried talking to her more and selling her drugs less? Maybe he could’ve accidentally kept her out of Vecna’s curse, even if he didn’t know what was going on. Maybe he could have bought Chrissy more time, or at least done something more noble than offering her drugs and then running away from her murder scene.
I think that is what is going through Eddie’s head. And I think that is the best way to look at what ST is saying about improper drug use. It’s just one of the ways we run away from issues instead of dealing with them,  by running TO the good things that can replace the issues.
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bo0zey · 2 years
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me, afraid to develop a benzo addiction so doesn’t take any of my prescribed clonazepam for >1yr : eek!!😨😰no thx!!😓😓
me, 1 year of worsening escapist behavior + 6.5mg klonopin later: now THIS is the shit im talkin bout😎😎🤤🤤
#IM NOT CONDONING DRUG ABUSE PLSSS TAKE UR PRESCRIPTIONS AS PRESCRIBED!!#benzodiazepines are only rlly addictive if the person starts abusing them. not if ur taking them as prescribed#also i can’t just keep doing this on the regular degular ok this was a blip in the simulation#i just had an awful spiraling start to my day at 6am and just wanted to sleep away the pain of realizing i’ll never have my mom again#everything i wanted someone to feel abt me everything i wanted them to say that they love me that they’re proud that they’re going to miss#i was so desperate to be comforted i even left my room and went up to my dad before he left for work and he didn’t even notice the tears#then the waterworks started and my dad finally hugged me against his chest#i felt so small like a child 22 year old me jsut wanted to be comforted by her dad like#like a child all over again#but ik i had to get it together i couldn’t be a child forever so i let go#i went back to my room n i couldn’t qualm the sobbing abandoned child within i couldn’t give her her mom back#all i could do to make this anxiety this pain this desire to see her again right now now now.#all i could do was take my anxiolytic and hope it put me to sleep. just for a little while#i only wanted to sleep for just a little while until the storm passed and i woke up n forgot what it feels like to miss my momma#she wrote her last letter to me and i spiraled at her words#‘i’m really going to miss YOU’ as i tell myself over and over i don’t rlly miss her i’m numb to her absence#‘ our coffee dates. car rides. shopping’ i don’t remember any of those things not clearly at least#’sitting in the couch together holding your hand while running my fingers through all that hair of yours’#that’s all i want . someone to run their fingers through my hair. but she’s not here anymore no one wants to love me like she did#‘you know your self worth like i taught you when you were just an itty bitty little baby’#how would she feel now if she knew my self worth was 0 it’s nothing i’m worthless i’m alive to be used n abused i’m not worth anythin#not worth anything good#i always thought she was my best friend. in her letter she said i was her best friend .i always thought my feelings were one sided. but no#she said she’d look at me and it was like looking into a mirror#now when i look into a mirror i don’t recognize the reflection they’re a stranger to me#was she my mirror too??? and now that she’s gone i don’t know who i am anymore????#if she’s gone i might as well be gone too#these awful thoughts needed to stop i needed to sleep so i took 12x the amt im supposed to#it’s not gonna happen again. but i won’t lie it was nice while it lasted#ramblings
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just watched the entirety of karppi s3 in one day…
#yeab.#and now it’s over completely which is crushing#but. so many thoughts.#chief among them wtf happened to nurmi’s parents?? he told the guy at the clinic one thing and sofia another#and like. at the clinic place he was drugged and gave super specific details so points towards that#but why would he lie to karppi?? idk. many thoughts.#and also!! did not like that they gave him this swanky new porsche#with all the subtle product placement of white collar but none of the charm#also not sure that the facial hair was the right look for him. just sayin. some ppl look better w scruff and some don’t#nurmi (and myself) I believe belong to the group that does not look better scruffy#but fr though this season was so good and I loved how much stuff it managed to tie up#wish there would’ve been more whump though. lots of potential but not a lot of actual Pain.#anyway I loved that jp got a more central role im kind of obsessed with him (and his new tattoo lol)#and that reveal at the end dear lord…I was like ‘no the fuck way’ and then. it was.#batshit I tell you!!#also also. hottest character of the season award goes to henna she looked so good!!#was crazy to see how much older she’d gotten. emil as well I was like oh my god he’s twelve. what the hell.#something I did especially like was the amount of hugs karppi and nurmi got to have. wish they would have hugged more but quite pleased#with what there was.#but. i would have loved to see nurmi in extreme emotional distress or something. like come on we all know he’s going thru it but like.#show me please!!!#and omg I think I will be writing a fic vis a vis him getting shot by karppi bc. the pain of those close range chest shots.#and of being shot by your partner. yeah.#ok ok I’m gonna shut up.#yeah. have had such a productive day today#i say things#not whump#karppi spoilers#deadwind spoilers
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academicelephant · 1 year
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I have been watching Rooker's panels and interviews and it’s uncomfortable and frustrating from time to time because I like him so much and I wanna actually talk with him and hug him but that’s never gonna happen since I’m not gonna go to USA (and I don’t think he’ll ever show up in my country) 😒 
Clearly it’s true what my professor said about love - it’s like an addiction, you want to see the person and be with them and if you can’t, it’s gonna make you feel terrible. Those weren’t his words exactly, but you got the point, right?
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