#luther was my mortal enemy

[literatureandshit]

luther always comforts klaus when he yells too loud and triggers his ptsd. and he’s always so genuine about it when he comforts klaus too. he grounds him and talks quietly to calm him down. we don’t see them together enough

#someone pointed this out #i can’t do this #luther was my mortal enemy #now he’s my best friend #the umbrella academy #tua #luther hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #i love this family #so fucked up and so dysfunctional #yet they love each other dearly

[shycorvid]

I'm admittedly not very familiar with Kon-el's backstory, just the vague details, but I got the idea of him somehow escaping CADMUS ahead of schedule, and winding up in Gotham, where he accidentally becomes one of Batman's rogues. He's just coming into his powers, and isn't quite sure what he's doing, just that he wants money (later he'll claim he gets that from the Luther part of his DNA and people just go along with it). Eventually Batman gets a sample of his DNA and realizes oh no, this kid that's been harassing him and his children (mainly Tim) is freaking Clark's. Suddenly it all makes sense. And then they have uncomfortable phone conversation.

Bruce- Kent. Clark- Hey Bruce. Is something the matter? Bruce- Depends. Clark- slowly Okaaay. Depends on what? Bruce- I’m hurt, Clark. Clark- What does that mean? You sound okay? Bruce- I thought we were esteemed colleagues. Clark- We’re friends. Bruce- Esteemed colleagues that tell each other when they’re seeing their mortal enemy. Clark- What does that even mean. Bruce- I tell you everything about Selina. And Harvey. And Talia. And the thing with Khoa- Clark- You’re not being very helpful right now. Bruce- But you didn’t tell me about Lex? Clark- What. Bruce- sends DNA results Congratulations, it’s a half-Kryptonian Gotham rogue. Clark- sputtering Bruce- Get him out of my city.

#DC #Superman #Batman #Clark Kent #Bruce Wayne #Kon-El #Conner Kent #dumb little snippets #Tim- B why is this guy calling me babygirl? #Bruce- *clenches fists* That's it I'm getting the kryptonite.

[conduitandconjurer]

Developmental Psych and TUA

A conversation shared with a colleague, because I am coming to realize that most TUA fans pick one sibling and try to act like "this sibling has it the worst and here's why," and I just don't think that mindset works. Let me try to use some developmental psych terms I've had to learn in my line of work (I'm in higher ed and I work with a lot of special needs students), which derive both from Object Relations Theory and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: -------------

Me Today at 6:51 i found someone who agrees with me on this and replying to them helped me realize where Luther's consent issues, when he is being coercive with Viktor or Klaus or Five or someone else, come from. he has to believe it's okay to physically and emotionally bully someone into doing something that triggers them, because REGINALD DID THAT TO HIM, so if he doesn't believe it's necessary "for the cause/family," then he has to face the fact that Reginald abused him (changing his body, sending him to the moon but honestly especially the body thing) for no good reason. and that's scary for him. too scary, right now. hopefully not always, but right now.

in fact ALL the other siblings (to varying degrees) have issues with consent, and also, with being too fearful of changing their own childhood "roles" and "identities" as adults. so as klaus grows and changes through the 3 existing seasons, they have to disregard it or they have to face that they could change for the better too, and it's hard scary work.

Friend Today at 6:58 PM Yeah, Luther is also the last of them to finally start to come to terms with the fact he was abused; he hung onto Reginald's lies the longest, and honestly idk if he would have ever begun to acknowledge his abuse if Reginald hadn't killed himself. He probably would still be under Reginald's thumb. I think that's really sad

Me Today at 7:03 PM It is!

it's also sad that Reginald hurt his kids so much that they continue to hurt each other and not even understand what they're doing wrong, years after he died, and even when he's back and demonstrably their mortal enemy.

Friend Today at 7:06 PM Yeah. It doesn't help that it seems they were extremely isolated from the rest of the world unless they could sneak out. That, I imagine, makes Reginald and their issues even harder to grapple with.

They really don't have a healthy model anywhere. To most of them, I feel like they think their behavior is relatively "normal".

Me Today at 7:12 PM yep, that's their world schema

they think it's reality when in fact it's a highly insular, dysfunctional premise for identity and relationships

the damage done in childhood trauma can be somewhat reversed, but your "core beliefs," the way you think the world works and people in it are meant to interact, is formed in the first 5-10 years. Your first caretaker is your model for ALL subsequent relationships. if love is transactional and conditional with them, it is with everyone else, unless you put in INTENSIVE hard work unlearning and healing.

that is what they're dealing with

that's why klaus uses substances to numb, and shrinks away from conflict. that's why diego represses and protects. that's why allison controls. that's why viktor molotovs and keeps secrets. that's why five obsessively plans and calculates. why luther has a rigid sanctimonious world-view and tries to take charge. why ben scolds and emotionally manipulates. every single one of them copes maladaptively based on that premise

#Klaus Hargreeves #Luther Hargreeves #Allison Hargreeves #Ben Hargreeves #Viktor Hargreeves #Five Hargreeves #Diego Hargreeves #TUA #meta #The Umbrella Academy

[bisexuallilapitts]

i wonder what kinda show tua would've been if they kept 'original' s1 vibe and writing team. t h o u g h t s?

this has been in my asks for months and every time I go to answer it I just go on a rant about s1 about how much I love s1 (which is a post for another day) so I'm just gonna wing it and try not to mention s1 too much

I really think we would have had more time to develop how the siblings interacted with each other (I think Viktor and Allison's fallout might have come in s2, that Klaus and Ben's bond would start to show the cracks, maybe Five showing signs of distrusting Viktor after the apocalypse and worrying about that path, that Luther and Diego would learn to work with each other, maybe *probably unrealistically* having Allison and Five share scenes and work together, and that would all culminate into s3 where we get the s2/s3 bonds but with the payoff), plotlines that gave each sibling payoff in the finale (every sibling in s1 had a part to play in the apocalypse whereas in s2 Luther and Klaus virtually have no role to play, and I'm not even going to touch on the amnesia plot - yes it's a part of the comics but I don't have to like it)

For general atmopshere, I get why s2 was a lot brighter - it made sense for the setting it was in and I don't have a problem with that (but the yellow/green filter is my mortal gifmaker enemy) but there was a definite switch somewhere in how the show felt wherein the s1 the atmosphere added to the show and the characters giving us more of an indight into their world, s2 is Dallas and that's fine, that's what it meant to be - but Dallas felt almost separate to the characters

With s3, the academy is back but outside the gym and Sloane's room we don't get much of a feel into how different it is, add to it the lack of exploration into most of the Sparrows (especially the more interesting powers and dynamics *cough* Jayme and Alphonso *cough*) and it doesn't really click.

I understand that filming during a pandemic they likely drastically reduced characters roles and made changes to storylines which couldn't be helped - and actor availability is also another thing - but I still wish we'd gotten more of an insight into the Sparrows (maybe even more flashbacks) and their dynamics within their team (there's things we're told - like Ben was Number 1 once - which is interesting!! but never see)

Anyway I'm ranting, I do love s3, a d I've grown to like s2, but s1 is just unmatched

#did this answer your question? absolutely not #tua negativity #in whcih i answer an ask by not answering the question at all

[grimvestige]

POV you just tried to assassinate Satoru, and this is the last thing you see.

Also fun fact, Satoru is just Luther's current alias. Yeah;;;; I'll ramble about how he went from being a tiefling to a drow under the cut! Thank you to @emmettkane for helping me figure out the logistics of a nonmagical and permanent disguise for this guy!

cw; family death mention under the cut!

First off: Satoru, Luther Colt-Waylon, and Suzuhara Jun are all the same person.

Suzuhara Jun is his real name, and he cast it off when he went AWOL on the Clan of the Black Dragon (tl;dr: evil ninja faction in my current ttrpg campaign) after failing to "cut ties with his weaknesses" aka assassinate his own family. It's important to note that Suzuhara is born a maroon tiefling with black hair and bull horns. He also has a younger brother named Kazuhira whom he believes to be dead.

Hopping on a ship ASAP to escape being assassinated for being a loose end, he ends up in Remington's Prospect. He takes on the name "Luther Colt-Waylon" and makes a living for himself as a charlatan & gun-for-hire. He ends up working for the lich & artificer Caesar Blackwood as a means to earn serious money and gain access to magical equipment. This is all in the name of getting revenge on Shichirou Hanzou, head of the Clan of the Black Dragon. He also reunites with Kazuhira, after some persuading he's convinced it's really his brother and not just an assassin in disguise.

Eventually, things go tits up for Caesar (see: Brass, Coin, & Blood ttrpg campaign), and Luther figures he has enough coin and resources to return to Kasai, and start making moves towards his assassination goal.

However, he knows just an alternate name isn't going to be enough to fly under the radar in Kasai - he'd already dealt with one assassin, Sugimoto Hirano, while in enemy territory. Especially considering all members of the Black Dragon have a magical tattoo denoting their membership, as a way to permanently ensure their loyalty. These tattoos partially show through magical disguises and last through wounds. The only effective way to get rid of one is through amputation or somehow throwing your whole mortal body out. So, Luther enlists the help of his younger brother, Kazuhira, who'd gained some necromantic powers with Caesar's aid.

The two make use of an empty drow husk that was laying around due to the defeat of a minor baddie on Caesar's side, effectively transporting Luther's soul into it, killing off his original body, and leaving his consciousness intact. Luther takes on the new alias of "Satoru", and sails to Kasai with Kazuhira.

ANYWAY THATS MY LONG WINDED EXCUSE FOR A BODY SWAP LMAO

#dtdraws #my art #dungeons and dragons #dnd drow #fantasy art #original character #ocs: Luther/Satoru/Suzuhara Jun

[thevividgreenmoss]

During the late 1960s in particular, the FBI genuinely feared that such a unifying leader, a black ‘messiah’, could bring about ‘a real “Mau Mau” in America, the beginning of a true black revolution’. Indeed, just one week before Martin Luther King Jr’s assassination in 1968, the FBI had cited him, alongside Stokely Carmichael (Kwame Ture), as prime contenders to assume such a position. The assassinations of Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X must be understood as part of a much broader wave of violence, intimidation, sabotage and repression focussed against the Black Nationalist movement and its allies, most notably by the FBI’s COINTELPRO campaign (originally directed against the US Communist Party). The US state was so determined to crush any and all internal resistance that, in the words of one US general, if the uprisings did not die down as the 1970s progressed, the Pentagon was ready to turn American cities into ‘scenes of destruction approaching those of Stalingrad during World War II’. That willingness to use indiscriminate violence to crush internal uprisings has never dissipated, as the events in LA in 1992, Ferguson in 2014, Standing Rock in 2016-17 and nation-wide over the past week have made transparent.

There is a further layer of offense to the propensity of many Americans to only comprehend this recent wave of violence as though the US is temporarily acting like other implicitly ‘worse’ countries and that it should really be happening somewhere else like Caracas, Baghdad or Beirut. These ‘bad’ examples are frequently associated with violence in the mind of an average American as a consequence of the very same factor that now threatens US cities: the unceasing brutality of the US state. Beirut especially has become a lazy by-word for chaotic urban violence to many Americans of a certain age as a result of its civil war, and especially the 1980s period of that conflict, when a number of American citizens were kidnapped and some killed. But what is forgotten is that US marines were occupying Lebanon at the time; that the US was directly involved in sparking and sustaining the civil war itself; and that the US is responsible for some of its worst violence, including the massacre of hundreds of Palestinians in Sabra and Shatila.

As so many of those slain black revolutionaries understood all too well, there is a direct link between the daily racist violence inflicted upon them and their fellow black Americans and the violence the US military inflicted against civilians in Vietnam and elsewhere overseas; it is the intrinsic and ongoing link between racism, capitalism and imperialism. As the BPP revolutionary George Jackson – himself murdered by the state in San Quentin Prison in 1971 – wrote to Angela Davis a year before he was killed: ‘it’s no coincidence that Malcolm X and MLK died when they did ... remember what was on his [X’s] lips when he died. Vietnam and economics, political economy’. X had explicitly stated: ‘you can’t have capitalism without racism. And if you find a person without racism ... and they have a philosophy that makes you sure they don’t have this racism in their outlook, usually they’re socialists’. At this point he had begun working with the governments of a number of recently independent African countries, many of them socialist, to pass a UN resolution condemning the US as a colonial power for its treatment of its black citizens. This proposal ‘terrified the American power elite’ and X was eliminated before he could proceed with it.

In Blood in My Eye, a book which Jackson heroically managed to finish in prison shortly before he was murdered as well, he wrote:

The US has established itself as the mortal enemy of all people’s governments, all scientific-socialist mobilization of consciousness everywhere on the globe, all anti-imperialist activity on earth. The history of this country in the last fifty years or more, the very nature of all its fundamental elements, and its economic, social, political and military mobilization distinguish it as the prototype of the international fascist counterrevolution.

Jackson’s observation has only proven to be more accurate in the intervening half century. Therefore, in addition to their solidarity with the righteous cause of black Americans, it is for this reason, too, the eyes of many millions all over the world are now focussed so intensely on events in the US. Anything that has the capacity to weaken the US internally serves to strengthen the position and revolutionary potential of all progressive forces everywhere in the world. Jackson wrote at length about the potentially global significance of a revolution led by what he termed the US’ ‘black colony’ – a concern shared by the US state. As revealed by Maurice Bishop, one of the State Department’s primary fears concerning the Marxist-Leninist revolution in the small Caribbean island of Grenada in the early 1980s, was the fact that that its leadership and 95 percent of the country’s people were black, and therefore it could have ‘a dangerous appeal to 30 million black people in the United States’. This was deemed unacceptable and in 1983, after years of other means of sabotage against it, the US military invaded Grenada and swiftly crushed its short-lived revolutionary process.

Contrary to the blatantly racist notion that this ‘great nation’ should not lower itself to the standards of its enemies, it must be stated plainly that the US is in fact the global expert on assassinations, crushing internal dissent, controlling and intimidating the media and various acts of mass violence against protesters and opposition groups – all the very things that many people are now absurdly claiming to be ‘un-American’. The events of the past week have demonstrated this clearly. What remained of the superficial mask of American liberalism has – at least for now – dropped entirely, exposing the ugly fascism at its core.

In the days and weeks to come, many people – including some on the left – will scramble to pull that mask back up. Reforms, they will say, can address this problem, thereby implying the US remains a redeemable democracy morally superior to its enemies. But the reality is that the US is what it routinely accuses its enemies of being: an authoritarian, militarised police state that surveils, brutalises, imprisons and murders people at home and abroad with impunity – all in the service of the interests of its capitalist oligarchy, which lays claim to everything, everywhere.

Louis Allday, This is not an Aberration; Violence is Central to the History, and Present, of the United States

#* #essays

[hphmmatthewluther]

“It’s So Loud Sometimes”

There was a noise. A low, grumbling, sound that was getting louder and louder. Matthew tried to ignore it, focusing on his view of the Great Lake in front of him. It occurred to him how he was one of the few people to know the water looked far better when observed from twelve feet in the air. It was times like these that Matthew’s Animagus form was so useful. The droning grumble was getting louder still, until it stopped below the tree he had hidden himself in. His small, avian head looked at the ground, and saw Merula Snyde there, looking furious with herself. For a moment, she looked up, before scowling and kicking the tree with a great deal of force. Uh oh.

Matthew was rocked with such force that he felt his human form quickly return, with no chance of returning. Merula, meanwhile, saw her mortal enemy appear out of thin air and plummet onto the grass nearby, landing with a thump.

“Oww...” he muttered, opening and closing his eyes. Merula’s jaw hung open for a moment.

“Wh-What was that?!” she cried, as Matthew tried to push himself up, instead settling for propping himself against the tree. “How the hell were you up there without me seeing?!”

“You know why...” he mumbled, pushing the hair out of his face. “I flew up there.”

“You-” Merula began, before remembering what she had learned last year. “Oh. Right. Course, cause there’s no way you could’ve apparated or anything, right, yeah...”

“Well, no I couldn’t have.” he reminded her, “You can’t apparate or disapparate on Hogwarts Grounds, remember?”

“I- I was being sarcastic, you dolt!” she hissed, hoping to get a reaction out of him. Nothing. “Are you...are you alright, Luther?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah...uh, well my arm hurts like hell, but it’s fine...” Matthew said. He looked up and saw her confused expression. “Oh. You meant, um, mentally, didn’t you?” he asked. Merula nodded. “Right, yeah, sorry. I’ve just...got a lot on my plate right now.” “Oh really?” asked Merula, sitting a few feet from him. “When have you not?” “Yeah, I know, but this is...worse.” he explained. “I mean, there’s the Sleepwalking Curse, dealing with Rakepick, the Thestral stuff, I’ve got Quidditch, and-”

“Luther, you know it’s alright to say no to things, right?” she laughed. Matthew didn’t return her smile.

“I know...I just, I don’t want to disappoint anyone, you know?” he said, wincing at what he said. “I...it’s hard to describe sometimes...sometimes it’s like...everyone I know is trying to argue one way or the other and it’s just...”

“Loud.” finished Merula. “It’s like they’re always around, and if you do something wrong they all start yelling.”

Matthew nodded. “It’s just...well, it’s been pretty loud lately, I suppose.”

Merula smiled sadly. “You just can’t catch a break can you Luther?”

He shook his head. “Nope. It just feels like every little problem’s yelling at me, and the only way to stop them is to solve them, but then a whole load of other problems show up, like that damn D-”

He paused suddenly. He thought back to the Vault of Fear, and remembered just what Merula’s worst fear was. 

“That damn what?” she asked, confused yet again.

She’s got to know. You’ve got to tell her,he thought to himself. Matthew took a long, deep sigh. “Merula...this might be hard for you to hear. I-”

“Luther, don’t patronise me.” she ordered. “I am the Most Powerful Witch at Hogwarts. Nothing scares me!”

“Merula, that’s not true and you and I both know it.” Matthew said, hoping he wouldn’t have to spell it out for her.

“Are you referring to the Vault? Fine, maybe there’s one thing I’m scared of, but…” she trailed off when Matthew moved forward, with more concern on his face than she had ever seen. She suddenly felt very, very afraid. “No...No there can’t be...that’s...”

“I’m sorry, Merula, but it’s true. There’s at least one Dementor somewhere in the school.” he declared. “I...I got caught by one last night...it...well, it...”

“You were demented?!” she exclaimed, her hand moving automatically onto his. Matthew didn’t seem to notice, and just nodded. “Wh- but...have you...had any chocolate?”

Matthew shook his head. “I...promised Dumbledore I wouldn’t get involved with whatever was attacking students. I was worried he’d find out I’d gone against my word...I just...ran off.”

Merula stared, gobsmacked. “You...idiot...you’ve...you haven’t...hang on.” she grabbed her satchel and dug through it before pulling out a Chocolate Frog.

“Merula, look, I don’t really-”

“Shut up for a second!” she yelled, before grabbing his face and stuffing the frog into his mouth. Matthew choked on it for a moment as it wriggled on his tongue, before reluctantly chewing and swallowing it down.

Matthew leant back onto the grass for a moment. He felt his head clear as every problem seemed to wash away, or at least diminish in importance. He looked up at the partly cloudy sky and smiled. Merula leant over him, causing him to blush slightly.

“You...alright now?” she asked. Matthew smiled.

“Never better.” he said, slowly getting back up. “Wish Muggles made chocolate like that. Who’s on the card?”

Merula grabbed the box and pulled out a pentagon-shaped card. “Oh, um.... Newt Scamander. I’ve already got him.”

“Really?!” Matthew pushed himself over and looked at the card. There on the card was a portrait of a very familiar man. “There he is...Newt Scamander...” he flipped over the card and began to read: “Regarded as the world authority on magical creatures, Newt Scamander is the author of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, which has been an approved textbook at Hogwarts since its publication in 1927 and can be found in most wizarding households.”

“What’s so special about Newt Scamander?” Merula asked, surprised at Matthew’s curious expression.

“Oh, right! See, he’s sort of my Great Uncle.” Matthew explained, as Merula’s jaw dropped yet again. “Well, sort of. He’s my Great Grandmother’s sister’s husband, so-”

“Queenie Goldstein?!” cried Merula. “But-but I thought you said you were related to the Dohertys!”

“Yeah, but this is on my Dad’s side.” Matthew explained.

“So you aren’t really half-blood, are you? You’re, well, two-thirds blood!”

“62.5%, actually.” Matthew corrected. “You’ve probably met my second cousin in third year, Artemis Hexley.”

Merula nodded. “Oh yeah. She’s rather feral for a Hufflepuff, isn’t she?”

Matthew couldn’t help but laugh at that. “No she’s not! I mean, I guess...but...um, in a good way, you know?”

They both sat there, smiling, for a moment. “Look, Luther, I...” Merula began, before remembering what Matthew had told her. “How’d we even get to talking about Hexley? Anyway, you owe me for saving you with that chocolate frog, okay? It’s an honour to be saved by someone like me.”

Matthew just grinned. “Thanks, Merula. Just...maybe don’t tell anyone about the You-Know-What. I don’t want to cause a panic.” he explained.

Merula considered this. “That makes sense...I just...I think I need some time to digest all of this...”

“Oh...yeah, ok...” said Matthew, getting up slowly. “I just...yeah. Maybe I’ll go down and feed Pickle.”

Merula was about to get up, but stopped. “Pickle?”

“Oh, that’s what I called the Thestral.” he explained. “I figured a name like that would make it less threatening.”

“Well, it definitely doesn’t strike fear into me...unlike...well.”

Matthew held out his hand for her, but as usual, Merula pushed it aside and got up on her own. “Yeah...um, thanks for telling me, Luther. I just...maybe I...”

“Merula, I need to know...are you...no, will you be alright?” Matthew asked.

She sighed. “I imagine so. I dodged Boggarts for all of last year, so this can’t be too different, right?”

“Even still-”

“Luther, I’ll be fine. It’s just...not nice to think about.” she said suddenly, as if she hadn’t wanted to say that at all. “You...oh, you know what I mean.”

Matthew nodded. “Yeah, I know. It isn’t.”

Merula sighed. “Right, I’m going now, if anyone sees us like this it’ll ruin my reputation. Good luck with the Death Horse!”

And that was that. Matthew stood there for a second before heading into the forest, Chocolate Frog card in hand. He ventured through the Grasslands, the conversation playing back over and over in his head. He crossed over into the lighter part of the forested area of the Reserve, his fingers rubbing where Merula had grabbed his face. By the time he had reached his Thestral, he could do nothing but think about Merula leaning over him, a smile on her face. Matthew took a deep breath. He had to learn that Patronus. As he fed Pickle the Thestral, another horse-like figure appeared. It was Stephen, the Abraxan. Matthew smiled and handed him some food as well. He checked his watch. Tonks was almost done with her detention now. He took a deep breath, and as he exhaled, felt himself shrink and start to take off, until he was above the trees and forests. He smiled, and wondered how Tonks would react to him dropping out of the sky...

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #hphm mc #hphm merula #merula snyde #merula x jacob's sibling #merula x mc

[tickle-bugs]

A Bitter Match

Summary: Lila and Five fight constantly. They’re a bitter match for each other’s wit. What happens when the two of them realize each other’s weakness?

I wasn’t going to post a Lila fic so soon but it felt right and I’m tired of this sitting in my files, so here! Lila stans, I have so much for her, so strap in.

THIS IS A SEASON 2 FIC. MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD.

Five’s life had become infinitely more complicated in the last few days. The beauty of living with six other siblings who were vastly different from him is that he almost always won any contest of wit. Allison and Vanya were his only real contenders and very rarely did they find squabbling worth it. He was the undisputed champion, resting upon a golden throne of sarcasm and mockery.

Enter Lila, his mortal enemy.

Normally, every argument among the siblings ended with one of Five’s scathing remarks, but now there were witty rejoinders, quips, and plenty of creative cursing that threw him off. Lila never missed a comeback, even if she was in another room. She always found a way to get the last word, even when things got...intense.

“I’m not telling you anything!” A man in a Commission blue suit writhed under Five’s foot, not moving an inch on the pavement.

“You won’t be the first person I’ve taken a fire axe to this week. Start talking.” Five lowered the blade of the axe to the man’s throat so he could get acquainted with the cold steel.

“Listen here, fuckbucket, if you don’t tell us what we want to know I’m going to remove your intestines and use them as a jump rope.” Lila yanked the man closer by his tie, inadvertently pulling him up into the axe. Five barely moved the axe in time to avoid an accidental kill.

“Jesus christ, Lila,” He muttered.

“I’ll talk!” The Commission stooge screamed, wild eyes darting between the two.

“See? It worked. A thank you would be nice.” Lila dropped the man’s tie and his head hit the pavement again.

“Go to hell.” Five glared, swinging the axe onto his shoulder and disappearing in a flash of blue.

It wasn’t just during business, either. 

“Luther, so help me, if you don’t stop leaving crumbs all over the counter, I will kill you.” Five pointed his butter knife at Luther and he raised his hands in surrender.

“What’re you gonna do, strangle him with your cute little socks?” Lila chuckled, rummaging through Elliot’s refrigerator. She opened a carton of orange juice and sniffed it. 

“Keep testing me and I might.” Five crossed his arms, knife in hand. Luther stayed still, gaze flicking between the two of them. He visibly shifted from fear to disapproval, already prepared for conflict resolution.

“I’d like to see you reach that high.” Lila grinned, drinking straight from the carton.

“Come over here and I’ll show you,” Five growled, and if Vanya hadn’t called them from the next room, he would’ve attacked her then and there.

But of course, the day came when there was no business to attend to and no one to intervene. Two unstoppable forces without an unmovable object.

For the few coffee drinkers in the family, they usually brewed their own pots, scrounging for whatever grounds they could find. Rule number one was to never, ever touch Five’s coffee. Every Hargreeves knew this rule and lived by it. Though Five loved his threats, coffee was certainly something he’d murder over.

Five had quickly fallen in love with Elliot’s blends during their stay in his home. The brew was slightly sweet, bursting with impeccable flavor and a hint of fruitiness that made Five pause after every sip. The man had such an impressive eye—or tongue, rather—for coffee that it was a wonder he was working in television sales. Five had set aside a bag of the last of Elliot’s magic grounds, writing his name and various threats in distinct permanent marker. He had shoved the bag in an upper cabinet behind cans of fruit that had seen better days.

So when he found the bag nearly empty, leaving too little for even one cup, he knew exactly who to blame.

He teleported directly onto Lila’s back, grabbing her in a vicious chokehold. Apparently, he’d interrupted a conversation, judging by the way that Diego and Allison nearly fainted at his sudden appearance. 

“What the fuck?” Lila gasped, stumbling backwards into the wall. She twisted and wrenched at his hands but his grip was fortified by rage. 

“Let her go, Five!” Diego pulled out one of his knives on habit, approaching the pair slowly. Allison went to speak but Five pointed an accusatory finger at her and she quickly closed it.

“Both of you, shut up! This is what happens when you fuck with me, Lila! This ends today!” Five snarled, hair disheveled, as he clung to Lila like a parasite. 

“We’ll see about that, you little shit!” She vanished, reappearing on top of Five, her hands pressing down on his throat. He narrowed his eyes and appeared behind her, shoving her off balance and nearly into the wall. She chuckled and swung a punch, but Five dodged her. They entered a teleportation frenzy, nearly blinding and definitely confusing Diego and Allison, who only caught glimpses of the fight. 

Five jabbed Lila in the side as a distraction, but instead of shouting in pain, she giggled and flinched, completely derailing their rhythm. Five narrowed his eyes with a dangerous smirk. 

The next time they appeared, Lila was squealing.

“N-Noho!” She flailed, trying to throw Five off of her.

“Oh, you’re a squirmer? Good to know.” Five wiggled his fingers over her stomach and she shrieked, nearly punching Five in the face, though he couldn’t tell whether or not it was intentional. 

“What is happening?” Allison spluttered, throwing her hands up in the air. 

“I think he’s winning,” Diego murmured with a grin, twirling his knife between his fingers. 

“It was so kind of you to reveal this weakness to me. I’ll be sure to use it frequently.” Five shot his victim a sickly sweet smile as he kneaded her sides.

“Eat shit and dihihie!” Lila giggled violently, trying to shove him away. Five simply leaned from side to side to ignore her uncoordinated attacks.

“Her ribs are pretty bad, just so you know.”

“Diego!”

“You brought this on yourself. Bye.” Diego wandered back into the kitchen to find something to eat and Allison quickly followed, leaving Lila to her doom.

“Judging by your tone, he gave up a sweet spot. I’d love to test that theory.” Five moved his fingers up, never dropping his intensity, knowing that giving Lila any window of escape would ensure his doom. He dug into her ribs and she arched her back, descending quickly past belly laughter and straight into cackles. 

“Theory proven,” he chuckled, wiggling his fingers over, around, and in between the bones. Every attempted punch or accidental shove was met with vibrating claws and endless gentle scratches. He wormed his hands under her arms and she screamed, actually screamed, and threw her head back against the ground. 

His hands jumped back down to her stomach, poking in random, maddening patterns. Her wild, bright laughter was endearing and wildly contagious. It lifted weight off of Five’s shoulders as he switched to ruthless scribbling and her voice jumped several octaves, cracking a few times on the way. 

“I’d say this is a good reminder of what will happen to you if you touch my coffee again. Learn from this experience because I promise you, it’ll only get worse.” He gently pinched all over her torso, a move that used to kill him whenever Allison would attack him with it. Quick, merciless, and effective seemed to be the theme today. He smirked down at Lila as she giggled endlessly, desperately. 

The way her nose crinkled when she laughed reminded him of Diego when they were young. That was how everyone knew when he was lying, the telltale scrunch of his nose that sometimes freckled in the summers. Five couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. The memory was cut short by his sudden impact with the ground as Lila appeared on top of him.

“My turn!” She beamed, wiggling her fingers in the air. Five’s face turned pink and he puffed his cheeks.

“No.”

“Yes.” Her eyes flashed wickedly, and before Five could utter another protest, she kneaded into his stomach and instantly took him down. Five grabbed her wrists, weakly tugging, but the bouts of squeaky laughter were quickly sapping his strength. 

“Ah, so you’re one of those people who falls apart when you tickle them? At least I can get free. What’re you gonna do if someone grabs you? Besides giggle, of course?” Lila’s hands took the shape of claws and Five’s eyes widened before he started cackling, eyes screwed shut.

“I hate you!”

“Rude.” Lila scoffed, using just two fingers to scratch at Five’s sweater vest. The tumbling, frantic giggles that escaped him were so directly opposite of his character that her brain refused to reconcile the sound with him.

“Well, isn’t this sweet? You two are bonding! We all thought you would’ve killed each other by now.” Klaus laughed, martini in hand.

“Yea, I just wanted to get to know him. Isn’t he cute?” She looked up at Klaus, head tilted, while she worked her fingers into Five’s sides like a ball of stubborn dough. 

“Very. If you want to see a reaction for the books, try his knees.” Klaus raised his glass and sipped from it, disturbing the small pink umbrella that seemed to make its way into all of his drinks. He meandered off after muttering something to the air, launching an in depth conversation with seemingly no one that quickly stole his attention. 

“Klaus, you asshole!” Five shouted, shoving at Lila’s hands. She quickly spun around, still using one hand to squeeze Five’s side, keeping him far too giggly to teleport away.

“Let’s see what you’re hiding from me, hm?” Lila waved her other hand above Five’s legs. He flattened his knees against the floor, as if that would help. 

“When I get out of here—“ He began, growling through his laughter.

“Quite cocky of you to assume that I’m gonna stop before you’re too tired to chase after me. I have plans today and you are certainly not going to stop them.” She scratched experimentally at one of his knees and Five’s entire leg jerked. 

“I’ll get you back eventually.” He said, voice wobbling. The silly smile on his face undercut his threatening aura. 

“Counting on it, old man.” She winked over her shoulder as she skittered her green nails over Five’s knees. He screeched and covered his face, fingers threading into his hair as muffled giggles exploded out of him. He thrashed underneath her, heels digging into the ground.

“Aww, this is cute! Bad spot?” She oh-so-lightly dragged her fingertips over the backs of Five’s knees and he squealed, trying his hardest to kick free. Multiple colorful threats were running through his mind but the laughter was beginning to drown them out. 

“Fuck yohou!”

“That’s not very nice, Five.” Lila tutted, squeezing his left knee—the worst of the two. His body jumped and he shoved at Lila’s back—he even tried digging his fingers into her sides—but even the temporary distraction wasn’t enough to deter her. 

She latched onto both knees, adjusting her grip in the most ticklish way possible, which earned some very giggly cursing and, eventually, an interesting and endearing symphony of giggles, cackles, and snorts. Five’s entire nervous system was alight and overloaded, and though his pride didn’t want to budge, he was certain he’d die before Lila let up, so finally, finally:

“P-Pleahase! Quit it!” He squealed, again, trying to bend his knees and make the squeezes less devastating. 

“Begging already?” She started scribbling at the side of one knee while squeezing the other and Five’s soul momentarily separated from his body. 

“I’ll die!”

“And that’s supposed to convince me, how?” She turned and raised an eyebrow. Five’s dimples stood proudly on his reddened face as he covered his mouth and resigned himself to the grave.

“Fine, fine.”

“I hate you,” he wheezed, slapping Lila as she let go of him. He was hardly fit to breathe, let alone stand. 

“Hate you too,” she beamed, laying next to him. She ruffled his hair and the urge to smack her hand floated to mind, but he dismissed it in the interest of preserving his life.

“What are you doing on the floor?” Luther froze in the doorway, nearly filling it with his shoulders.

“Bonding, obviously.” Lila pushed herself on her elbows and raised an eyebrow.

“Sure. Bonding,” he muttered, disappearing back into the kitchen. Lila and Five shared a glance before falling into gentle laughter.

#my fics #bug’s greatest hits #ticklish!five #ticklish!lila #tua #The Umbrella Academy #lila pitts #five hargreeves #Allison Hargreeves #diego hargreeves #luther hargreeves

[in-tua-deep]

Ok, but alternative Pokémon AU where all the siblings have a team of Pokémon? I see Diego having a bisharp and/or weevile because SHARP and maybe a noibat/noivern for vanya?

i am v tired but i will gently toss the Hargreeves As Gym Leaders at you bc it’s much easier than combing through pokemon and trying to mentally debate which pokemon would cut it on their team as Regular Trainers but if u want me to wax poetic about how Diego should totally have a wartortle yeet me another ask i can answer at my leisure lmao

feel free to add your own thoughts/ideas! while i have loved pokemon all my life i am by no means an expert uwu

Luther:

Gym leader: Luther is, of course, the fighting gym leader. He views strength as being essential to any pokemon team. He goes through a journey of self discovery where he has to unlearn all the toxic ideas that Reginald implanted regarding viewing pokemon solely as tools, but after that his bond with his team is very close and he ends up in a better place for it. His fighting style is very straightforward. He tends not to use many status moves and focuses on taking down his opponents hard and fast, which can make him a tricky opponent for beginning trainers. 

Gym team:

�� Gallade: Gallade is a very important pokemon of Luther’s because it’s siblings with Allison’s Gardevoir from back in the day when they were very close and decided to hatch some Ralts eggs together. Luther and Gallade grew up together, and Gallade considers Luther a bit like an idiot kid brother. Before Luther’s journey of self discovery, Gallade often disobeyed and frustrated Luther. After, they repaired their relationship and are closer than ever.

➤ Primeape: Honestly this is just a pokemon reference to Luther being half ape so that’s a thing. Primeape is a passionate fighter and gets angry when Luther doesn’t use them in battle, so they’re often the first pokemon that Luther throws out in a match so he can avoid getting yelled at later.

➤ Passimian: I am very lucky as to have multiple monkey themed fighting pokemon so I can make this a joke reference again thank you ladies and gents I will be here all week. Luther’s Passimian is somewhat lazy in that it prefers not to battle when they don’t have to. Primeape and Passimian can’t be out together at the same time because they are mortal enemies.

➤ Machoke: every good fighting gym has to have one of the macho evolutions, sorry I don’t make the rules. Not a machamp because Luther doesn’t trade pokemon with other people because he’s a Lonely Loner. Machoke and Luther are lifting bros, Machoke is out of his pokeball a lot because of this and also likes to help out around the gym.

➤ Bewear: because Luther is a bigass dude and Bewear is a bigass dude and I feel like they could bond over this fact. Also Luther could probably endure Bewear hugs and I feel like he deserves hugs and affection every once in a while, bless.

➤ Pangoro: A gift pokemon from Klaus! Because Klaus is the most gift-y of the siblings let’s be real. Luther raised it from a baby Pancham after Klaus just left the egg in his gym with a jaunty wave and salute. Klaus insists on having ‘visitation rights’ that he uses as an excuse to ambush Luther in his gym for Forced Family Bonding Time after they all vow to try and do better.

Diego:

Gym leader: Diego would be the steel gym leader! Because of course, sharp and pointy is very important. That, and he insists that all his pokemon have to be as tough as him if they want to be on his team. On the inside though, Diego is squishy soft and loves his team so much. He tends to sneak them lots of treats and is a bit of a pushover when it comes to them begging. If you want Diego to do something, win his pokemon over first. His strategy is either more roundabout or as straightforward as Luther’s, depending on when you catch him and how recently his siblings have pissed him off.

Gym team:

➤ Bisharp: raised from a Pawniard, Diego took one look at its sharp little knife hands and immediately fell head over heels in love. Still insists that Bisharp is the “coolest pokemon ever” and 10/10 would murder anyone who insults steel pokemon. Bisharp is just as intense as Diego and has a soft spot for Klaus, who sneaks them extra treats.

➤ Scizor: Diego really saw a bug pokemon in a shiny steel coat of armor and went “that one. that is the one for me.” and it was that simple. Scizor and Bisharp are good friends but Scizor is the one with a sense of self preservation who tries to stop her idiot trainer from implementing his more stupid ideas.

➤ Aggron: Aggron was raised from an Aron and has yet to grasp that evolution equals a big size difference. They still think they are tiny and want very much to curl up on Diego’s lap. Diego, the softie, allows this even though is genuinely murders his legs.

➤ Lucario: Diego still insists that fighting pokemon are stupid but has quieted down on that front a lot since he got Lucario. He still insists that Lucario is mainly a steel pokemon shut up and refuses to use fighting moves, which Lucario grudgingly accepts (but rolls their eyes real hard over it)

➤ Doublade: why have ONE knife when you can have TWO? or well, sword that is. Ben gave Diego doublade for a birthday and Diego actually cried he was so happy about it. Doublade likes to be out of their pokeball and appear from nowhere, freaking people out. They also like pets very much which Diego is happy to supply.

➤ Durant: Durant is more of? A pest? Than an actual pokemon that Diego uses? Diego’s Durant is out of its pokeball a lot and it likes to wander the premises biting people’s ankles with its pincer-like jaws. Diego finds this hilarious and tells everyone that they need constant vigilance. No one else is amused by this.

Allison:

Gym leader: Allison is the psychic gym leader! A mantle she actually briefly retired from but has taken up again. She tends to be one of the trickiest gym leaders in terms of actually even getting to her and she has lots of puzzles and traps hidden within her gym. She plays to her strengths and has a lot of tricks up her sleeves when it comes to battling - however there are times when she’s out of sync with her pokemon and it shows. Change is slow to come to her, but she’s trying very hard.

Gym team:

➤ Gardevoir: Allison raised her Gardevoir from a Ralts with Luther, who has Gardevoir’s twin, Gallade, on his team. Gardevoir is a proud pokemon who dislikes battling weak pokemon, and is usually the last pokemon that Allison uses in a battle because of this. 

➤ Hatterene: Allison’s Hatterene hates everybody except maybe Allison, sometimes. When Allison is feeling emotional, Hatterene and her are very out of sync vs. when Allison is feeling calmer and more sure of herself. This discord only came about after the family decided to Actually Try and so Hatterene dislikes most of the other Hargreeves. Allison keeps them in their pokeball most of the time.

➤ Meowstic: Allison’s meowstic is very protective of her and is very competitive in battle. They hate to lose because they feel like they’re disappointing Allison in some way, even though Allison’s love does not depend on their winning ability. Somewhat insecure, Allison tends to sneak them berries on the down low.

➤ Espeon: Espeon would like very much to be seen as regal and graceful and untouchable and would totally pull it off if Allison didn’t scratch their chin in a way that makes them melt and then rub their belly for all the world to see.

➤ Galarian Rapidash: Absolutely has to have their mane brushed every day or they WILL die. Insists on Allison riding on their back everywhere and has memorized the route to every gym. Sometimes Allison will just hop on her rapidash’s back and let them take her wherever.

➤ Indeedee: A psychic/normal pokemon that Allison added to her team after mission FTFF (fix this fucking family) was a go. She got her indeedee to feel closer to Vanya and often has this pokemon out. She finds Indeedee soothing to talk to and a good listener.

Klaus:

Gym leader: While saying ghost would be easy pickings, Klaus is actually the dark gym leader. With his intense fear of ghosts (though surprisingly this does not apply to Ben) it shouldn’t be a shock that he surrounds himself with pokemon who can protect him from his fear. Klaus is tricky to face is battle purely because he’s so unpredictable - you never know what his next move will be or what strategy he will use. He does have a tendency to shirk responsibility and go wandering though, and many trainers need to hunt him down to claim their battle with him.

Gym team:

➤ Galarian Linoone: Klaus found a Galarian zigzagoon in a trash can once and since that day that have been inseparable. What was Klaus doing in a trash can you might ask? He changes the story every time, so no one can ever be sure of the truth. 

➤ Thievul: a pokemon that share’s Klaus’s magpie-esque nature in that it’s an absolute pick pocket. You genuinely have to log all your belongings before you enter Klaus’s gym so that you can be sure to leave with them. Has a longstanding rivalry with Liepard over who can steal the most shit without the trainer noticing.

➤ Liepard: an exceptionally sneaky pokemon that enjoys spooking people and stealing things. Very adept at the smash and grab as well. Liepard is more territorial than Thievul and takes more convincing to give up their hard earned loot, especially since Klaus is often laughing way too hard to be too insistent on giving it it back.

➤ Umbreon: A persnickety little shit, Klaus’s umbreon is fussy and dramatic and demands attention at All Times. Possibly related to Allison’s Espeon, though Espeon would never admit it. Umbreon often knocks things over for attention and has a loud cry that echoes and isn’t afraid to use it.

➤ Mightyena: The only level-headed one out of all of Klaus’s pokemon who is also an adult. Has absolutely given up on keeping anyone in line, especially Liepard and Thievul. Has been known to sit on Umbreon when they’re crying too loudly. Probably the most reliable and dependable of Klaus’s pokemon and knows it. The closest of Klaus’s pokemon with Ben - they share a certain sort of kinship over the levels of Klaus bullshit they deal with on a daily basis. 

➤ Pawniard: The child of Diego’s bisharp that was a gift from the pokemon itself due to its large soft spot for Klaus (partially due to Klaus’s reliability when it comes to treats, partly because Diego often even likes having Klaus over though he won’t admit it). Klaus dotes on the little Pawniard and often enthusiastically visits Diego’s gym with it so it can visit with its parent as well while Klaus coos over the cuteness in the background and Diego refuses to comment.

Five:

Gym leader: Five is the dragon gym leader! Dragon type pokemon are notorious for being slow to evolve, staying in their comparatively weaker unevolved forms for much longer than any other type. This vibes with Five being the ‘youngest’ of the seven and slowest to grow up. Five is a tough nut to crack and is very strategic in his battles, adapting to whatever his opponents do. People often complain he seems to be five steps ahead of them. He commands complete respect from his pokemon team, and even though he pretends he doesn’t have feelings he’s secretly as protective of them as they are of him.

Gym team:

➤ Dragapult/Dreepy: Five has a Dragapult which sounds fine and dandy except he also has a corresponding army of Dreepy that aren’t actually a part of his team that keep? Showing up? Five isn’t sure if they’re his Dragapult’s kids or if they’re just wild Dreepy or what but they sure do seem to like being shot like missiles so. That’s a thing. When there get to be too many Five rounds up some and dumps them on Ben’s doorstep.

➤ Dratini: Honestly Dratini was an accidental acquisition. They like to drape around Five’s shoulders (and they are large so this is not an easy thing to deal with) and have a mind of their own. They’re very protective of Five, which often leads to Five spitting curses at them because he can protect his damn self but Dratini never seems to care about this. Even though Five always threatens to get rid of them, he’d never actually go through with it.

➤ Zweilous: The two heads constantly bicker unless Five scolds them over it, in which case they tend to act like abashed children. They have a tendency to follow Five around like very large ducklings. Klaus comes over occasionally to gently coo over them while Five bristles and yells at his brother to get out, or to at least use the door.

➤ Flapple: Flapple has a one-sided rivalry with Dratini which Dratini is completely unaware of over Five’s attention and, primarily, his neck. Dratini is really too big to be trying to drape across Five’s shoulder, and Flapple would very much like that real estate thanks. It’s an ongoing battle. 

➤ Fraxure: Five’s Fracture is a somewhat nervous pokemon who likes to hide behind Five a lot. Five raised them from an Axew after they had to be removed from their nest because their playmates were too rough with them. Five is surprisingly good with them, and Fraxure is absolutely loyal to him.

➤ Noivern: Five’s noivern is an absolute asshole who loves Five. Klaus says that it’s one asshole recognizing another, superior asshole. He likes to swoop down and land on Five’s back, bowling him over, and then preens his trainer’s hair lovingly. He’s also inexplicably fond of Vanya and does happy dances whenever she comes around. He attacks pretty much everyone else though, which Five has done nothing to discourage.

Ben:

Gym leader: Growing up, Ben wanted to be the water gym leader but after an unfortunate incident involving the loss of his pokemon at the hands of Reginald, Ben became the ghost gym leader instead. Ben is notoriously tricky to get a hold of and if almost never actually found at his gym, making any trainer who wants to face him have to hunt him down. The first place they check should be Klaus’s gym, which Ben often seems to haunt (ha). He doesn’t particularly like battling and frustrates people by using a lot of moves that ‘protect’ his team, which draws battles out for a long time.

Gym team:

➤ Mimikyu: Ben’s Mimikyu has been with him for a long long time. It’s rumored that Ben has seen what is under Mimikyu’s cloak/costume, though Ben himself has never confirmed nor denied this fact. Ben’s biggest hobby is lovingly making Mimikyu a variety of different costumes. (Klaus has knitted it several hats, which it also appreciates).

➤ Drakloak/Dreepy: Every time too many Dreepy gather in Five’s gym, he drops some off with Ben. Ben’s Drakloak is very enthusiastic about this and dotes on all the little Dreepies running around underfoot. Ben isn’t sure whether to scream or just accept his life. He offers a free Dreepy with every gym badge won just to try and get some of them out of his gym.

➤ Phantump: Ben doesn’t really battle with Phantump, he just carries them around all day in his arms while they nap. They’re a curious little thing and have a habit of getting into places they really shouldn’t be when Ben isn’t keeping an eye on them.

➤ Polteageist: Sinistea’s come into being when a spirit possesses a cold leftover cup of tea. Klaus has a habit of interrupting Ben and dragging him on adventures. Ben is running out of tea cups in his house they are all getting possessed. And also he has a polteageist as well. Which is fine. Everything is fine. 

➤ Gengar: Gengar is a pokemon who is continuously trying to scare Ben and fails miserably because Ben is just that unflappable. He accepted his fate long ago, and if he can suffer through Klaus he can suffer through everything. Gengar is determined to frighten Ben though, and won’t quit trying. 

➤ Chandelure: Chandelure likes to follow Ben around and provide lighting. They have a tendency to just hang themself up in whatever room Ben happens to be occupying and Ben always thanks then because he’s polite like that. Chandelure thrives on their trainer’s thanks, so this works out well for them.

Vanya:

Gym leader: Even though Vanya being the ice or poison leader would be sick, she’s probably the normal gym leader. There are lots of parallels between Vanya having a ‘normal’ team vs. her being considered as ordinary and I feel like it would be cool to see Vanya succeed with ‘ordinary’ pokemon. Plus lets be real normal pokemon can be very versatile with what moves they can learn so Vanya is actually a very strong trainer with very diverse pokemon who can take on anyone who wishes to challenge her. 

Gym team: 

➤ Exploud: raised from a tiny little unassuming Whismur, Exploud is the powerhouse of Vanya’s team. Why are you putting in ear plugs Vanya, you ask? Yeah it’s because she’s about to send in Exploud. Otherwise though they’re frequently out of the pokeball and follow Vanya around. They’re very very loyal. 

➤ Eevee: As a pokemon with possibly the most adaptable DNA, eevee is representative of Vanya’s potential. Eevee refuses to evolve and is happy as an eevee, and Vanya does nothing to discourage this mindset. Her eevee is a stubborn little thing who likes getting their way, and it shows.

➤ Furret: Furret is - enthusiastic is a good word for it. Friendly to the point of concern is another way to put it. For whatever reason it loves Five? Privately Vanya thinks it’s because Five is all skin and bones and childish lankiness that Furret seems to have mistaken for its own child since it likes to curl around him so much though. Vanya is secretly an asshole who likes to see Five sputter and snarl though so it all works out perfectly.

➤ Audino: Audino is Vanya’s chillest pokemon. They just like to hang out and don’t mind any of the others. Like a capybara, no one really bothers Audino and in fact are usually on their best behavior when Audino is around. Unfortunately, Audino dislikes being out of their pokeball for long lengths of time and needs to recharge before seeing more people.

➤ Persian: A proud pokemon, Persian is the most fickle of Vanya’s pokemon. They love to battle and they love to win. Vanya’s relationship with Persian was somewhat fraught back when she was more of a wallflower, but Persian has come to grudgingly respect Vanya and listens to her unfailingly.

➤ Girafarig: Vanya got this pokemon after the family decided to actually make an effort, and so Vanya got a normal/psychic pokemon and Allison got a psychic/normal pokem to represent their new determination to put actual work and effort into their bond. Girafarig is very playful and gets along well with almost everybody.

#gym leader au #tua au #the umbrella academy #tua #pokemon #pokemon au #tua crossover #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #number five #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #my take on them as gym leaders at least #vanya would have made a kickass ice or poison leader though i will admit #i had a lot of fun with this actually #ben and five and their armies of dreepies

[minalover]

ship ask - allison and luther, and/or luther and diego!

ooooooh coming out with the HOT FIRE today (and i love it!)

allison/luther (alluther) | the umbrella academy i ship it

what made you ship it? well, when @maundering-marauder​ dragged me kicking and screaming into umbrella academy, my little romantic heart immediately attached to luther and allison. i would ask her “hey, did i finally land on the canon/most popular ship train?” (she may have laughed at me.) i was pretty much in from the start.

what are your favorite things about the ship? mostly how there for each other luther and allison are. allison seems to be the only one who knows (or cares) that luther was up on the moon, so of course he wouldn’t be as informed or prepared as the rest of them. luther doesn’t presume to mean anything to allison’s life just because he used to be, and she makes it very clear that he does and that she wants him to. allison reaches out to luther (both physically and emotionally) just as much as luther reaches out to allison and their relationship seems to have grown and changed over time. they’re still very much there for each other, even if it’s more complicated than it was as kids.

is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? an unpopular opinion that I have? not really. i’m pretty firmly on the it’s canon because the show says it’s canon train, so i guess that’s pretty unpopular in the fandom. 

luther/diego (liego) | the umbrella academy i ship it

what made you ship it? i didn’t super get into this one until season two, but the ways that their characters developed in that season really lent itself to these two actually building a relationship. i’m all here for relationship building.

what are your favorite things about the ship? mostly that they’re two gigantic himbos just learning and trying their best. especially in s2, diego is learning about what it means to lean on people and what you can get by giving and receiving emotional support, and luther is learning about being the master of his own life, and the two of them start to discover that they’re so much more than mortal enemies. they’re on a great enemies to friends to lovers track and i’m 100% here for it.

is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? again, not really. the fandom hates it, so i guess my liking it is unpopular. my most “controversial” opinion on this ship is that i’d like to put both of these together and just have luther and diego and allison (okay, and maybe klaus tossed in there too when he’s in town) all together in a big ol’ farmhouse with things to lift and sunny spots to nap in and a bed big enough for everyone. luther and diego are moving from the I HAVE TO BE BETTER THAN YOU part of their relationship and into the huh okay maybe you’re not so bad part, so i’m just excited to see what happens for them next (platonically or nah!).

#circumstellars #asks #answers #maundering-marauder

[theculturedmarxist]

What will reading Marx do for my bank account?

At the very least, because the people that determine what is in that bank account study Marx, and so you should as well.

A valid, but very revealing question. It’s a common sentiment, especially considering all the economic factors effecting the working class today, everywhere in the world. The accumulation and capital is an overriding concern, both for practical reasons, as well as the logic we absorb from living in a capitalist society. All human endeavor is reduced to cost analysis. Time spent not making money is time wasted, and wasting time—not making money, either for yourself or others—is a cardinal sin of capitalism. The drive to convert every aspect of the lives humans live into a monetary transaction is relentless, and has become so common that it simply goes without question. It has seeped into and colored everything people do, their romances, their careers, their passions, their lusts. The logic of accumulation and transaction eliminates the person and in its place leaves a bank account, a debit card, a dumb repository of value in relation to what they can do for someone else.

The less you eat, drink and buy books; the less you go to the theatre, the dance hall, the public house; the less you think, love, theorise, sing, paint, fence, etc., the more you save  – the greater becomes your treasure which neither moths nor rust will devour – your capital. The less you are, the less you express your own life, the more you have, i.e., the greater is your alienated life, the greater is the store of your estranged being. Everything ||XVI| which the political economist takes from you in life and in humanity, he replaces for you in money and in wealth; and all the things which you cannot do, your money can do. It can eat and, drink, go to the dance hall and the theatre; it can travel, it can appropriate art, learning, the treasures of the past, political power – all this it can appropriate for you – it can buy all this: it is true endowment. Yet being all this, it wants to do nothing but create itself, buy itself; for everything else is after all its servant, and when I have the master I have the servant and do not need his servant. All passions and all activity must therefore be submerged in avarice. The worker may only have enough for him to want to live, and may only want to live in order to have that.>

So entrenched has this mindset become that in the mainstream it goes utterly unquestioned. People are immersed in it from birth, and might go to their grave without even knowing that there was any possible alternative, or even that they should desire one. Marx (for instance, he’s certainly not the only one) offers both a perspective outside of this logic as well as the analysis that can not only allow people to see it, but dismantle it. Marx and Marxist analysis provide a vocabulary and framework otherwise missing from the average worker’s lexicon. They are missing not because they are so esoteric and abstract that they require an imparted understanding, like a teacher to a child, but because the people in charge of workers’ lives—government officials, police, landlords, institutional educators, and bosses most of all—have done everything they can to strike them from the record. Billions are invested in making the thoughts themselves impossible, in inverting human tendencies and behaviors and values to make even the idea that the system is unfair a shameful one. Everything drives at ensuring that the worker stays isolated, ashamed, and desperate.

The benefit of reading Marx and other communists is that they understand this arrangement, go to great lengths to explain its whys and wherefores, and offer workers the tools not only to reframe the narrative in a manner of speaking, but the ideological guidance necessary to undo and escape it. Where capitalism breeds alienation, communists advocate socialization. Where capitalism fosters isolation, communists urge community. Where capitalism cultivates war and hatred, communism professes peace and international solidarity.

Marx tells the worker why he has to consider his bank account in the first place. He explains the mechanisms by which it is filled and drained and to whose profit. The confusion of chauvinism, nationalism, racism, classism, genderism, and so on is dispelled when revealed to be the deceptive antics of the very people that keep the working individual in perpetual anxiety over their bank account.

And still, even though Marx was writing about events that seem like a distant memory, does any of this sound familiar?

Dazzled by the “Progress of the Nation” statistics dancing before his eyes, the Chancellor of the Exchequer exclaims in wild ecstasy:

“From 1842 to 1852, the taxable income of the country increased by 6 per cent; in the eight years from 1853 to 1861, it has increased from the basis taken in 1853, 20 per cent! The fact is so astonishing to be almost incredible! ... This intoxicating augmentation of wealth and power,” adds Mr. Gladstone, “is entirely confined to classes of property.”

Again, reverse the medal! The income and property tax returns laid before the House of Commons on July 20, 1864, teach us that the persons with yearly incomes valued by the tax gatherer of 50,000 pounds and upwards had, from April 5, 1862, to April 5, 1863, been joined by a dozen and one, their number having increased in that single year from 67 to 80. The same returns disclose the fact that about 3,000 persons divide among themselves a yearly income of about 25,000,000 pounds sterling, rather more than the total revenue doled out annually to the whole mass of the agricultural laborers of England and Wales. Open the census of 1861 and you will find that the number of male landed proprietors of England and Wales has decreased from 16,934 in 1851 to 15,066 in 1861, so that the concentration of land had grown in 10 years 11 per cent. If the concentration of the soil of the country in a few hands proceeds at the same rate, the land question will become singularly simplified, as it had become in the Roman Empire when Nero grinned at the discovery that half of the province of Africa was owned by six gentlemen.

In the domain of Political Economy, free scientific inquiry meets not merely the same enemies as in all other domains. The peculiar nature of the materials it deals with, summons as foes into the field of battle the most violent, mean and malignant passions of the human breast, the Furies of private interest. The English Established Church, e.g., will more readily pardon an attack on 38 of its 39 articles than on 1/39 of its income. Now-a-days atheism is culpa levis [a relatively slight sin, c.f. mortal sin], as compared with criticism of existing property relations. Nevertheless, there is an unmistakable advance. I refer, e.g., to the Blue book published within the last few weeks: “Correspondence with Her Majesty’s Missions Abroad, regarding Industrial Questions and Trades’ Unions.” The representatives of the English Crown in foreign countries there declare in so many words that in Germany, in France, to be brief, in all the civilised states of the European Continent, radical change in the existing relations between capital and labour is as evident and inevitable as in England. At the same time, on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, Mr. Wade, vice-president of the United States, declared in public meetings that, after the abolition of slavery, a radical change of the relations of capital and of property in land is next upon the order of the day. These are signs of the times, not to be hidden by purple mantles or black cassocks. They do not signify that tomorrow a miracle will happen. They show that, within the ruling classes themselves, a foreboding is dawning, that the present society is no solid crystal, but an organism capable of change, and is constantly changing.

The colonial system ripened, like a hot-house, trade and navigation. The “societies Monopolia” of Luther were powerful levers for concentration of capital. The colonies secured a market for the budding manufactures, and, through the monopoly of the market, an increased accumulation. The treasures captured outside Europe by undisguised looting, enslavement, and murder, floated back to the mother-country and were there turned into capital. Holland, which first fully developed the colonial system, in 1648 stood already in the acme of its commercial greatness. It was

 “in almost exclusive possession of the East Indian trade and the commerce between the south-east and north-west of Europe. Its fisheries, marine, manufactures, surpassed those of any other country. The total capital of the Republic was probably more important than that of all the rest of Europe put together.” Gülich forgets to add that by 1648, the people of Holland were more over-worked, poorer and more brutally oppressed than those of all the rest of Europe put together.

Today industrial supremacy implies commercial supremacy. In the period of manufacture properly so called, it is, on the other hand, the commercial supremacy that gives industrial predominance. Hence the preponderant rôle that the colonial system plays at that time. It was “the strange God” who perched himself on the altar cheek by jowl with the old Gods of Europe, and one fine day with a shove and a kick chucked them all of a heap. It proclaimed surplus-value making as the sole end and aim of humanity.

Even these examples removed by time have their parallels and echoes today. Now just as then, capitalists refuse to raise wages, claiming it will bankrupt them. Now just as then, capitalists accumulate by rape and pillage the wealth of lesser nations. Now just as then, capitalists one and all make their fortunes through the pitiless exploitation of the working class. You worry about your bank account because it’s been emptied to fill the hoard of the person that owns all you make and for which they’ve never labored themselves.

That’s why you should read Marx and all the rest, because you have a bank account to worry about in the first place—a clock perpetually ticking down towards your ruin, and the only means of escape is joining with your fellow workers and building Communism.

#marx #marxism #capital #capitalism #economics #history #red academia

[officialyourdailyinspiration]

Temptation and the Devices of Satan

by Henry Blunt

“The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked." - Jeremiah 17:9

If "the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked," how can I know whether any temptation is the offspring of my evil imagination, thus having its origin in my own heart, or whether it comes from without, thus being the inspiration of the spirit of wickedness and sin?

This is an extremely difficult point to determine, and in offering a few very brief remarks upon it, I would not be understood to speak with the same degree of confidence as upon those things which are the subjects of express revelation, for here we can only give the opinion and experience of men, not the word of God; of eminent Christians, indeed, but still merely of uninspired mortality.

Following, then, the guide of Christian experience, we should say that one of the most decisive points of distinction is this: that when sin is the natural birth of our hearts, it grows up leisurely and by degrees. It does not rush upon us at once in an overwhelming flood, but is thought of and ruminated upon, and viewed perhaps at first with reluctance, but soon with complacency, and then entered upon gradually from its lighter to its deeper shades of criminality and guilt. But when sin comes immediately from the devil, there are none of these gradations, and it is remarkable for its suddenness and abruptness. It rushes in at once upon the thoughts, and we are hurried away into transgression without time for reflection. It is, perhaps, on this account that the devices of Satan are compared to "fiery darts," which can be cast in a moment and carry sudden destruction to the soul.

Two other methods of determining this difficult point are the nature of the sins to which we are tempted and the effect they have on our minds and hearts.

The nature of the sin. Some of the most horrible and dreadful sins originating from the direct agency of Satan are profane and blasphemous thoughts of God, murder, and especially self-murder. Through the instrumentality of Job's wife, Satan tempted him to unholy thoughts of God. The devil tempted the Saviour of the world, when having placed him upon a pinnacle of the temple said, "Cast thyself down." And he successfully tempted the miserable Judas to suicide, for we are expressly told that Satan entered into him before he engaged in his last dreadful deed of blood.

Its effect upon our own minds and hearts. Suppose the moment an evil suggestion arises in your soul you feel an unspeakable degree of loathing and abhorrence. This is a strong presumptive evidence that it is the work of an enemy from without. The heart does not usually feel such violent dislike for sins which it has itself engendered. This then is a favorable sign to the tempted believer, and one which if followed up by fervent, faithful, persevering prayer, will usually be succeeded by victory over temptation and the tempter.

Remember, when you become a Christian you become a soldier, not a conqueror. You are called to fight, run, wrestle, and enter upon a course of difficulty and trial, not a season of enjoyment and rest. Why else would our Lord himself have told us first to sit down and count the cost? Therefore, expect to meet with these spiritual assailants and spiritual difficulties. Following are some reasons why our heavenly Father sees that it should be so.

Temptation or trials are most effectual tests of our Christian graces. The full extent of Abraham's faith would never have been known had it not been tried by God himself. The reality and depth of Job's sincerity and patience would have been equally unknown had they not been subjected to the temptations of Satan. Our heavenly Father, therefore, permits you to be tempted in order that you may bear more abundant fruit to the honor of his name.

Temptations often produce equally salutary effects upon the darker and more unholy portion of our Christian character. For instance, you are beginning to feel proud of your spiritual attainments. Then it is that God permits your spiritual enemy to tempt you, thereby revealing your liability to sin and destroying these first buddings of pride. God permitted St. Paul to suffer from a thorn in the flesh, which he expressly says "was a messenger of Satan to buffet him," not because he had actually become proud and self-sufficient, but lest he should be lifted up, lest he should grow proud through the abundance of the revelations which were granted to him.

Through fiery trials of temptation God enables us to sympathize with others who are tempted. It was a frequent saying of the great Martin Luther, that "temptation, meditation, and prayer can alone make a minister." He who has never been deeply tried and exercised in his own heart will never be able to say with St. Paul, "We are not ignorant of Satan's devices," and therefore will never be able wisely and feelingly to counsel those who are in "danger through manifold temptations."

The Almighty permits us to be tried and tempted that we might not settle and root ourselves too firmly here below. In the midst both of worldly and spiritual prosperity, we should know something experimentally of the Psalmist's feeling, "Oh that I had wings like a dove, for then would I fly away and be at rest." Blessed is that trial, whatever it may be, if it strengthens this desire to be forever with the Lord and to behold his glory.

I shall now consider how God supports us in temptation.

First, there is the "sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God." This is our only offensive weapon. Even the Lord Jesus Christ wielded it. When Satan tempted him, he replied to every one of the three temptations by a quotation from the written Word, choosing to select his arrows from the same quiver which is available to you and me.

Second, there is constant, faithful, fervent prayer. This is our greatest defensive weapon. When a temptation has entered your thoughts or affections, take yourself at once to secret, silent prayer. There you may hide yourself under the very wings of Omnipotence, through which no weapon of Satan's armory can ever penetrate.

Let every tried and tempted soul rest calmly and contentedly upon God's promises and omnipotence. In this assurance we shall obtain fresh grace, fresh strength, fresh resolution to "run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith."

#Henry Blunt #Temptation and the Devices of Satan #Jeremiah 17:9 #inspirational reading #temptation #satan #schemes #devices

[amuseoffyre]

Crossing Paths - 1517 - Wittenberg

Notes: Useful thing about being raised in a family of rather religious folks is an almost bottomless well of useless historical facts that you can use nowhere but theology. Or, for me, fanfic :) And lo, I finally get around to Martin Luther.

1517 – Wittenberg

The candle flame wavered when the door opened.

Martin glanced over his shoulder, recognising at once the fair-haired man in the doorway. “Brother,” he said, closing his Bible and turning on his chair. “Welcome.”

The man was a local Franciscan by the name of Brother Francis. He was a kind man and had often brought Martin remedies to help settle his aching belly. “I hope I’m not disturbing you,” he said as he stepped into the room, his hand carefully sheltering his own candle.

Martin shook his head. “Not at all. Come, come. I appreciate the respite.”

Brother Francis smiled and closed the door behind him. “You have heard, I expect, about Tetzel?”

Martin nodded with a grimace. Indulgences, being bought and sold like meat at the marketplace. Not simply absolution for sins past, but for a particular price, any future sin of your choice. Buy salvation from purgatory and carte blanche for mortal sins for a handful of coins. It had begun some years earlier, when the Pope claimed it was with the purpose of building a great house for the worship of God in Rome, and now, it had reached the fringes of Wittenberg.

“A number of my parishioners have attended his… gatherings,” he said. “They believe what they are told. That salvation can be bought so easily.”

Brother Francis crossed the room on silent feet and sat on the edge of the narrow bench by the wall. “You have spoken on the matter before,” he murmured, his pale eyes shining like the sea by the flicker of his candle. “Several times.”

Martin turned his gaze back to his desk. He had, on numerous occasions, and had been sorely reproofed because of it. Plenary indulgences were the domain of the Pope, who was in turn God’s representative. To question them was to question the Pope and to question the Pope…

Some called it heresy.

“You know it’s wrong,” Brother Francis said softly, as if he was not dancing dangerously close to the heretical himself. “We both know repentance can’t come from an exchange of money. If it were, our Lord would never have spoken of the camel passing through the eye of a needle.”

“Be careful, Brother,” Martin murmured, staring blindly at the blank paper before him.

Brother Francis said nothing for a moment, the only sound the snap and whisper of the candles.

Outside, the wind was murmuring against the shutters and the night was dark.

Martin tapped the tip of his finger against the desk.

“They believe the scraps of paper will unlock the gates of purgatory,” he said suddenly, spitting the words out before he could bite down on them. “That they need not repent because that paper will grant them absolution.”

“You know that’s wrong.”

He slanted a guarded look at Brother Francis. The man was as calm as ever. “These are– To think such things– To say such things…”

“Even if you know they’re wrong?” Brother Francis leaned forward. “Your people, they believe they are bought and paid for. They believe that. If it isn’t true, where will that leave them when their time comes and they have lived a life without repentance?”

Martin met those fire-brightened eyes. “They call it heresy to speak of such things.”

“And yet, they may well damn thousands to fill their coffers with the price of ink and paper.” Brother Francis held his gaze, implacable and calm and fathomless. “Your people don’t know better. They believe what they have been told. They believe that they can be forgiven so easily.”

They did. They all did. They had no cause to repent, they said. Why did they need to do anything more when they could seek a plenary indulgence?

“They call it heresy,” he repeated, holding it like a talisman.

“Is it?” Brother Francis asked quietly. “To speak the truth? To tell them to better themselves and their fellow men? To ascribe the mercy of forgiveness and salvation to the throne, where it belongs?” He shook his head, the glow about his fair hair like a halo. “Remember the commandments, my friend. Remember Christ’s words and his covenant.”

Martin had to look away. “If I… say anything, it will have a cost.”

“The cost,” Brother Francis said gently, “of redemption?” He rose on light feet and approached, laying his hand on Martin’s shoulder. The man was only a Friar, but it felt like the holiest of benedictions. “Do the right thing, my friend, whatever you believe that to be.”

Martin didn’t look at him, didn’t speak, and Brother Francis stepped away.

The candle wavered again as the door opened and closed.

Martin touched the blank sheet in front of him. The world was still and quiet and the night pressed up against the windows. They were in the dark. They were all in the dark and if someone did not raise a candle, light their way…

He picked up his quill and started to write.

“Out of love for the truth and the desire to bring it to light…”

  1519 – Leipzig

“I didn’t think it would go this far,” Aziraphale admitted unhappily.

Crowley shot an amused look at him. “He criticised the Pope. What did you think was going to happen?”

The angel didn’t dignify him with a response, anxiously peering around the hall. The debate would begin soon. Eck and Karlstadt were there already and he was sure he spotted the black-robed figure of Martin Luther a little further down the hall.

Less than two years ago, Luther had nailed his 95 theses on the efficacy of indulgence to the door of the Castle church in Wittenberg. Word had spread, like a candle touched to dry kindling, and now, the man had been called to defend himself against accusations of heresy and folly.

“Good job on the tempting, by the way,” Crowley said, nudging him. “How’d’you convince him to do it anyway?”

Aziraphale glanced at him, then back down the hall, fiddling with his ring. “I didn’t really need to do anything,” he said, trying to ignore the niggling knot in the middle of his chest. “He already believed the indulgences were wrong. He’d been preaching about it for years. He just… didn’t know what to do with it.”

The demon chuckled. “And you got him to put it down in writing. Trust you to make it all about the written word.”

Aziraphale forced a brittle smile on his lips.

If he was honest, he was worried.

He had seen enough religious upheaval to recognise the tremors that came before the earthquake and now, the ground was shuddering gently underfoot. On one hand, in his eyes, Luther had done nothing wrong. Saving his people from a false salvation was good. On the other hand, the Church was a powerful enemy, an iron hand in a velvet glove.

The fact that Luther’s words were spreading, the fact that people were thinking about them, the fact that people were questioning…

Many, many, many years ago, he had witnessed what could happen to people who went against the status quo. It started with a doubt and a question against the one with authority and by the end, there were bloodied swords and factions and war.

He had fought, believing himself to be on the side of Good and Right.

Cycles repeated, as they always had, whether in the Heavens or on earth.

He folded his hands tightly, one around the other.

This, he knew without question, was going to change everything.

#fic: crossing paths #good omens fic #aziraphale #crowley

[barefootdancinghospital]

“The world might be ending.

* * *

There’s a commonly replicated piece of anarchist folk art that means a lot to me. I don’t know who drew it. It’s a drawing of a tree with a circle-A superimposed. The text of it reads “even if the world was to end tomorrow I would still plant a tree today.”

I grew up into anarchy around this piece of art. It was silkscreened as patches and posters and visible on the backs of hoodies and the walls of collective houses. It was graffitied through stencils and it was photocopied in the back of zines. It’s a paraphrasing of a quote misattributed to Martin Luther (the original protestant Martin Luther, not Martin Luther King, Jr., although plenty of people misattribute the quote to him as well). The original quote is something like “Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.” The earliest reference to it anyone can seem to find is from the German Confessing Church, a Christian movement within Nazi Germany that sought to challenge Nazi power. The quote was used to inspire hope, to inspire people to action.

That’s something I can get behind.

* * *

There’s this book that means a lot to me, On the Beach, by Nevil Shute. I’ve never read it. I can’t bring myself to. I think about it quite often, regardless.

The novel describes a nuclear war destined to kill all life on earth, and it describes the last days of people living in Australia waiting for the inevitable death of all things. It describes how they live their lives, how they find meaning during the apocalypse. It’s a book about how to live without hope. It’s a book of resignation.

It’s too much for me, I think, at least right now.

* * *

The world might be ending.

A lot of people will argue with me about that. They will correctly point out that for large numbers of people all over the world, especially in the parts of the world long ravaged by Western imperialism, the world has been ending for a long time. They will correctly point out that the world itself isn’t going anywhere, that change is constant, and even if what is left behind by climate catastrophe and war is a scorched desert, it’s probable that life will continue. Human life, non-human animal life, and plant life will all, in some form or another, survive all of this.

People will argue, correctly once more, that most every generation has believed that the world was ending. The machine gun slaughter of World War I, the genocide of World War II, the Doomsday Clock of the Cold War, the AIDS epidemic, those all must have felt like the apocalypse. For entire peoples, they were. Yet here some of us are today, alive.

None of those arguments detract from the fact that it sure feels like the world is ending.

Mountains are blown up for coal to pump poison into the air, pipelines clearcut the last vestiges of the wild to help us pump more poison into the air. Oceans are swallowing islands, hundred-year storms happen every year, and it feels like every day we break new climate records.  A sense of urgency about coming disaster is fueling a rise of “I got mine, fuck you” nationalism, and climate scientists are being ignored to an unconscionable degree.

The world is ending.

It’s always ending, but it’s ending a lot right now. For me and the people I’m close to, it’s ending more dramatically than it was when I was born thirty-seven years ago.

That’s fucking paralyzing.

The news is full of extinction and fascism and death and death and death.

And we’re expected to get up in the morning and go to work.

* * *

For awhile, I coped by means of a cycle of denial and panic. The potential apocalypse was, basically, too-much-problem. I couldn’t wrap my head around it or its ramifications, so I acted like it wasn’t happening. Until, of course, some horrible event or reminder of the apocalypse broke over a certain threshold and sent me spiraling into despair. Then numbness took over once more and the cycle began again.

That didn’t do me much good.

About a year ago, I decided to embrace  four different, often contradictory, priorities for my life. I run my decisions past all of them and try to keep them in balance.

Act like we’re about to die. Act like we might not die right away. Act like we might have a chance to stop this. Act like everything will be okay.

Act like we’re about to die

Every breath we take is the last breath we take. You Only Live Once. Smoke em if you got em. Do As Thou Wilt. Memento Mori. Our culture is full of euphemisms and clever sayings that focus around one simple idea: we’re mortal, so we might as well try to make the most of the time we have.

Embracing hedonism has a lot to recommend it these days. It’s completely possible that the majority of us won’t be alive ten or twenty years from now. It’s completely possible, although a lot less likely, that a lot of us won’t be alive in a year.

I used to think, when I was younger, that I was a terrible hedonist. As a survivor of sexual and psychological assault and abuse, I’ve never had much luck with drug use or casual sex. But fucking and getting wasted, while perfectly worthwhile pastimes, aren’t the only ways to live in the moment. Hedonism is about the pursuit of pleasure and joy. The trick is to find out what gives you pleasure and joy.

For myself, this has meant giving myself permission to pursue music, to sing even though I’m not trained, to play piano and harp. To travel, to wander. To seek beautiful moments and accept that they might be fleeting. I’ll rudely paraphrase the host of the rather wholesome podcast Ologies, Alie Ward, and say “we might die so cut your bangs and tell your crush you like them.”

My hedonism is a cautious one. I’m not looking to take up smoking or other addictions. I’m not trying to live like there’s a guarantee of no tomorrow, just a solid chance of no tomorrow. Frankly, this would be true regardless of the current crisis, but it feels especially important to me just now.

Act like we might not die right away

Preppers have a bad reputation for a good reason. The people stockpiling ammunition and food in doomsday bunkers by-and-large don’t have anyone else’s best interests at heart. Still, being prepared for a slow apocalypse, or dramatic interruptions in the status quo, makes more and more sense to more and more of us.

Preparing for the apocalypse is going to look different to every person and every community. For some people it will mean stockpiling necessities. For other people, securing the means to grow food.

One thing I’ve learned from my friends who study community resilience and disaster relief, however, is that the most important resource to shore up on isn’t a tangible one. It’s not bullets, it’s not rice, it’s not even land or water. It’s connections with other people. The most effective means of survival in crisis is to create community disaster plans. To practice mutual aid. To build networks of resilience.

Every apocalypse movie has it all backwards when the plucky gang of survivors holes up in a cabin and fends off the ravaging chaotic hordes. The movies have it backwards because the ravaging hordes are, in the roughest possible sense, the ones doing survival right. They’re doing it collectively. Obviously, I’m not advocating we wear the skulls of our enemies and cower at the feet of warlords (though wearing the skulls of would-be warlords has its appeal). I’m advocating staying open to opportunity and building collective power.

There are infinite reasons not to count on holing up in a cabin with your six friends as an apocalypse plan, but I’ll give you two of them. First, because living a worthwhile and long life as a human animal requires connections with a diverse collection of people with diverse collections of skills, ideas, and backgrounds. It’s all fun and games in your cabin until your appendix bursts and none of you are surgeons—or you’re the only surgeon. Likewise, small groups of people who tend to agree with one another are subject to the dangers of groupthink and the echo chamber effect, which will limit your ability to intelligently meet challenges that face you.

Second, because by removing yourself from society, you’re removing your ability to shape the changes that society will go through during crisis. If you go hide in the woods with your stockpile and your buddies, and fascists take over, guess what? It’s kind of your fucking fault. Because you weren’t at the meeting when everyone decided whether to be egalitarians or fascists. And guess what? Now that rampaging horde is at your doorstep, and they want your ammo and your antibiotics, and they’re going to get it one way or the other. Fascism is always best stamped out when it starts. It’s never safe to ignore it. Not now, not during any Mad Max future.

Tangible resources do matter, of course. Any likely scenario that prepping is good for won’t be so dramatic as an utter restructuring or collapse of society. It might mean food shortages, power outages, water contamination. It never hurts to keep nonperishable food, backup sources of power, and water filtration systems around for yourself and your neighbors.

Still, this is a terrible basket to put all your eggs into. You probably shouldn’t live out your days, whether they’re your last ones or not, over-preparing for something that may or may not come to pass.

Act like we might have a chance to stop this

We can and we should stop the worst excesses of climate catastrophe. We can and should stop fascism by whatever means necessary. Throwing up our hands and walking away from the problem is no solution.

It’s hard to remember that we have agency. Unless we were raised ultra-rich, we’ve had the concept of political and economic agency stripped from us at every turn. We’ve been told there are two ways to effect change: vote for politicians or vote with our dollars. Politicians in western democracies are likely incapable of changing things as dramatically as they need to be changed, and they certainly won’t bother trying unless we motivate them to do so in fairly dramatic ways. As for economic agency, there is a small handful of men with more wealth—and therefore power—than the rest of us combined.

We’ve been told we cannot take matters into our own hands, politically or economically. We’re not allowed to have a revolution. We’re not allowed to redistribute the wealth of the elite.

You’ll be shocked to know that I don’t put a lot of stock in what we are and aren’t allowed to do.

Still, even if we give ourselves permission to undertake it, revolution feels like an insurmountable challenge. We’ve got, optimistically, ten years to completely overhaul the economic system of the planet. It can be done. It has to be done. Yet it feels like it won’t be done.

We’re all running the cost/benefit analysis of acting directly. We all have different “fuck it” points—the point beyond which we can no longer prioritize our immediate wellbeing but instead must act regardless of the outcome. In the meantime, we’re waiting until it seems like we can act and actually have a chance of winning.

All over the world, even in some Western countries, people are no longer waiting. They’re  acting. We need to be helping them, supporting them with words and actions, while we get ready to act here as well.

The revolution needs mediators and facilitators, medics and brawlers. It needs hackers and propagandists and it needs financiers and smugglers and thieves. It needs scouts and coordinators and it needs musicians and it needs people invested in the system to turn traitor. It needs lawyers and scientists and bookkeepers and copyeditors and cooks and it needs almost everyone, almost every skill.

One thing it doesn’t need, though, is managers. The people who claim to know how to run a revolution don’t know how to run a revolution or they would have done it by now. The authoritarian urge, to decide what the revolution should and shouldn’t look like, how people should and shouldn’t express their rage and reclaim their agency, will fail us every time. Authoritarian communism is the death of any revolution. Authoritarian liberalism is the death of any revolution. Even the more dogmatic anarchists will get in the way if given a chance. The revolution cannot be branded. Despite Hollywood representations of rebellions, they don’t work as well under a single banner. They are diverse, or they are not revolutions.

The revolution cannot be controlled by a vanguard of activists; if it is, it will fail. The revolution must be controlled by its participants, because only then will we learn how to claim agency over our own lives and futures.

We have a chance to stop this.

I forget that sometimes, but I shouldn’t.

Still, I can’t count on hope alone, or the days when hope fails me would lay me low.

Act like everything will be okay

All the times the world has come close to ending before, it hasn’t. It’s ended for some people, some cultures. Civilizations have collapsed. Ecosystems have radically shifted. Species have gone extinct—including the species of humans before homo sapiens. Colonization was an apocalypse. Some people survived those apocalypses, but plenty more didn’t.

Still, the world is still here and we’re still here.

Capitalism is a sturdy beast, quite adept at adaptation. Marx was wrong about a lot of things, and one of those things was the inevitability of the collapse of capitalism under the weight of its own contradictions. With or without capitalism, the society we live in might stagger on. We might curb the worst excesses of climate catastrophe through economic change or wild feats of geoengineering.

I won’t bet on it, but I won’t bet entirely against it either.

As much as I need to live like I might die tomorrow, I need to live like I might see a hundred years on this odd green and blue planet. Unless things change, I’m not burning every bridge. I’m trying to maintain a career. If I was certain to die under a fascist regime by 2021, there wouldn’t be much point in writing novels: they take too long to write, publish, and reach their audience. I get some joy from the writing itself, sure, but I get more joy from putting my art in front of people, of letting it influence the cultural landscape. With novel writing in particular, that takes time. That takes there being a future. I want there to be a future. Almost desperately. Not enough to bank on it completely.

I’m keeping some small portion of my time and resources invested in the potential for there to be a future is important for my mental health, because it keeps me invested in maintaining that health.

* * *

The world might end tomorrow, and it might not. If we can help it, at all, we shouldn’t let it end. We still ought to act like it might.

We ought to figure out what trees we would plant either way.

If you appreciate my writing and want to help me do more of it, please consider supporting me via Patreon.

“

#climate change

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

Important Young Avengers/Umbrella Academy Things

Loki and Five, brunch buddies

also bitchass little shits buddies, but don’t tell them that to their faces

Teddy is one of the few people in the world who can actually knock Luther out

Kate, warily eyeing Diego’s getup: you’re not like. ghostrider or something are you?

Klaus: no im the one with the ghosts

Klaus doing everyone’s eyeliner

America does NOT have a crush on Vanya!!! shut UP

the entire team does not have a crush on Allison like???? SHUT UP

Eli and Luther: we are the Leaders of our teams

Kate, Klaus, and Diego: pppfffhhtptttphtpth

Kate and Five bonding over coffee. she is the ONLY person who can make a decent goddamn cup, holy christ

He actually hates her before the coffee, he thinks she’s all sanctimonious and self righteous and ugh like most team leaders

Then he sees her fall out of a two story window and come up shooting and he thinks “oh okay. This I can work with.”

Five ~training~ everyone in combat skills so literally like a bunch of 30 year olds getting beaten up by a kid

and Five and Loki fight and it’s both hilariously cute and incredibly terrifying to watch these murderous children go at each other

Diego: so you’re like me?

Kate: nah i don’t have powers or anything it’s called a trickshot ok

Diego: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I JUST SAW YOU SHOOT THREE ARROWS AT THE SAME TIME AND THEY ALL HIT A DIFFERENT TARGET WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHA

Noh hanging out with Klaus when he’s having trouble staying sober

Allison calling Luther, Eli, and Teddy the Big Boys Brigade

(+ Big Girl!!! she says while smiling at Cassie, who melts)

Noh: THAT’S Sir Reginald???? That’s your DAD???? THAT MOTHERF–

(noh and sir reginald have crossed paths before. noh’s no stranger to sir reginald’s morally questionable methods)

Kate’s friendship with Wade and her encounter with the Ghost of Ben Franklin mean she’s got the most experience with actual ghosts on her team

also people talking to what appears to be thin air

so she’s a lot less weirded out by Klaus’ whole thing, AND she’s the first to really Get Ben’s whole deal

by which I mean, she’s the one who asks stuff like “hey is Ben here?” and “What does Ben think?” She’ll have Klaus point her in the right direction and just say hi to Ben directly, without going “Klaus, tell Ben I say hi” like the rest of her team does at the beginning

Klaus is half-irritated half-amused at Kate and Ben having conversations through him

unrelated, Ben has a HUGE crush on Kate, and that was before she started talking to him. he just thought she was scary and pretty and badass, and THEN she proved she was nice, too. Klaus canNOT handle this

Cassie growing herself so she’s as tall as Luther

Kang for SURE needs to be involved because Time Travel

Kang and Five worked together on and off over the years. 

they DESPISE each other

Everyone thinks Diego and Kate are going to start dating or something but in reality they spend half of their time being mean to each other and the other half being super platonic besties

they are GROSS about their platonic-bestiness. super huggy with each other when they’re drinking, Kate always brings Diego fluffy blankets and he always brings her new arrows and they sharpen weapons together and have aim competitions and they cuddle on movie night

Diego is CONVINCED Kate has powers and she just wishes he would let it go already????

Diego: do u want to go to a police station and irritate some cops

kate: are u KIDDING? that’s my fave hobby

Klaus is L.I.V.I.N.G. for their friendship

Tommy tries to flirt with Klaus all the time and…fails. A lot. really spectacularly. 

Allison’s powers don’t really work on Billy or Noh. 

Allison and Noh have a mind control-off which is weird mostly because it looks like a flirting session interrupted by bouts of acting like a chicken or reciting Hamlet monologues

Tommy and Five sort of bond over their powers? They aren’t the same but they’re related

Also Tommy gets roped into being Fake Parent for Shenanigans a lot. He’s a little less unpredictable than Klaus and easier to pay

Billy helps Vanya figure out how to control her powers...or Vanya helps Billy learn how to harness his powers...it’s unclear who is teaching who

Kate and Vanya as a string duo

like lbr they probably know each other from being musically gifted kids?

and Tommy and/or Kate and/or Noh definitely know Klaus--at least, they’ve seen him at clubs

Tommy and Diego sleep together and it’s comically bad because they realized halfway through they weren’t being physically passionate or whatever, they were fighting over who got to bottom (be the bottom? what’s the correct way to say this)

Kate: Five come with me immediately

Five: I think not

Kate: but there’s a dog

Five:….I’m getting my coat

You’d THINK America and Five would bond over similar powers but Five says he thinks America has ostentatious presentation and gets a bloody nose for his insolence

Five pretending America is his mom just to screw with her in public

they can’t stand one another. when America gets frustrated she just lifts Five over her head until he stops being an asshole

“I am SIXTY YEARS OLD, show me some goddamn respect!” Five shouts at her as concerned families watch this happening in a park

Not sure if this is dimension hopping YA or if they’re all in the same universe

But I kinda like the idea that they were…mentored by a DIFFERENT eccentric billionaire who was MORTAL ENEMIES with Reginald Hargreeves

its Tony Stark

He doesn’t BUY the exceptional children, a lot of them still have loving families, but at various points they all lived under the same roof

And in THAT version, Peter Parker and Miles Morales are both as-needed parts of the team

#young avengers #the umbrella academy #kate bishop #america chavez #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #allison hargreeves #tommy shepherd #diego hargreeves #my stuff #cassie lang #vanya hargreeves #eli bradley #noh varr #billy kaplan #etc etc i'm tired of tagging #the millennial mess au

[aristotela]

episode 2:

"Let your heart feel for the afflictions and distress of everyone" —George Washington

episode 3:

"He who controls others may be powerful but he who has mastered himself is mightier still" —Lao Tzu

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the things which you think you cannot do" —Eleanor Roosevelt

episode 4:

"In the city, crime is taken as emblematic of class as race. In the suburbs though it's intimate and psychological; resistant to generalization; a mystery of the individual's soul" —Barbara Ehrenreich

episode 5:

"Nothing is easier than to denounce the evil doer; Nothing more difficult than understanding him" —Fyodor Dostoevsky

"Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed" —G.K. Chesterton

episode 6:

"Now what else is the whole life of mortals, but a sort of comedy in which the various costumes and masks, walk on and play each ones part until the manager walks them off the stage?" —Erasmus

episode  7:

"An earthly kingdom cannot exist without inequality of persons. Some must be free, some serfs, some rulers, some subjects." —Martin Luther

episode 8:

"Fantasy abandoned by reason produces impossible monsters" —Francisco Goya

"God sends meat and the devil sends cooks" —Thomas Deloney

episode 9:

"Love all. Trust a few. Do wrong to none" —William Shakespeare

episode 10:

"Superman is, after all, an alien life form. He's simply the acceptable face of invading realities." —Clive Barker

"The noir hero is a knight in blood caked armor. He's dirty and he does his best to deny the fact that he's a hero the whole time." —Frank Miller

episode 11:

"It doesn't matter who my father was, it matters who I remember he was." —Anne Sexton

"A simple child that lightly draws it's breath and feels its life in every limb. What should it know of death?" —Wordsworth

episode 12:

"No man or woman who tries to pursue an ideal in his or her own way is without enemies" —Daisy Bates

"It is a wise father that knows his own child." —William Shakespeare

episode 13:

"I know indeed what evil I intend to do, but stronger than all my afterthoughts is my fury...fury that brings upon mortals the greatest evils" —Euripides 

"For we pay a price for everything we get or take in this world; and although ambitions are well worth having, they are not to be cheaply won." —Lucy Maud Montgomery

episode 14:

"...within the core of each of us is the child we once were. This child constitutes the foundation of what we have become, who we are, and what we will be." —Dr. R. Joseph.

"There is no formula for success except perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings." —Arthur Rubinstein

episode 15:

"There is no refuge from confession but suicide; and suicide is confession." —Daniel Webster

"The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering." —Ben Okri

episode 16:

"A sad soul can kill you quicker, far quicker, than a germ." —John Steinbeck

"We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered." —Tom Stoppard

episode 17:

"There are no secrets better kept than the secrets that everybody guesses." —George Bernard Shaw

"If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find" —John Churton Collins

episode 18:

"No man is happy without a delusion of some kind. Delusions are as necessary to our happiness as realities." —Christian Nestell Bovee

"A woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself." —Susan B. Anthony

episode 19:

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves. We must die to one life before we can enter another." —Anatole France

"What though the radiance that was once so bright, be now forever taken from my sight. Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower; we will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind." —William Wordsworth

episode 20:

"The man visited by ecstasies and visions, who takes dreams for realities is an enthusiast; the man who supports his madness with murder is a fanatic." —Voltaire

Part 3/?

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#quotes #studyblr #bullet journal #quote of the day #criminal minds #spencer reid #studyspo #study motivation #philosophy #studyquill #snostalgic #heyaly #heypat #heystudyblr #heysareena #original #cmog