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babiebom · 9 months

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What Kind of ~dere the bachelorette's would be

A/N:it's the girl's turn<3333 it took me 5ever to finish this for some reason. I'm only writing it now because i'm watching doctor who and need 2 different kinds of stimulation and i have no snacks tbh(doctor who started buffering so now im watching the little mermaid Im not trying to give play by play of me writing this but Im so hyped rn and its 2 in the morning)

TW: maybe some spoilers, maybe some cursing, idk yet nothing that bad! There is some brief mention of childhood trauma and abuse on Penny's part but nothing graphic.

Genre: Headcanons

WC: about 10 bullet points per person

Abigail

Hiyakasudere

Penny

Described as light-hearted and flirtatious, often mischievous and playful on the outside and constantly teases their loved one as a sign of affection.

Would playfully bully you to try and make her crush on you not obvious

Makes it painfully obvious to everyone but you

"This sunset is cool but you know whats cooler?" "What?" "My sword collection"

Probably smacks you when laughing

Smacks you when you do something funny

Laughs extra loud

"Lmao I'll fight you idiot"

You two probably get in trouble to playing around in serious situations

Invites you to the mines with her

Or to the woods past the wizards tower

You two probably get into trouble together and think its funny that you were attacked by slimes

Does make fun of you even when you get together

"Ew you have a crush on me that's so embarrassing"

Undere

described as a "yes-man" to their loved one no matter what the consequences are their devotion doesn't allow them to betray their loved one easily and is an extension of the Goudere characterization.

Leah

A Kekkondere

Which is described as some who believes in love at first sight and wants to get married right away. They have a deep desire to remain close to the person they meet for better or worse and this can sometimes evolve into them becoming a yandere type

So I could not choose which she fit more so I will try to fit everything within 20

I feel like due to her being a more submissive type in my mind that she would 100 percent be a yes man

Especially with a woman like Pam as her mother.

She has probably learned that disagreeing with her led to consequences that she does not enjoy.

So due to her childhood trauma she is more likely to just agree with whatever you say

And even if you try and get her to actually say her own opinion I don't think she fully grows out of it but it develops into a more shes a yes man because she feels safe.

Does not matter what will happen to her you are her main priority now so it is whatever you say goes because this is her fairy tale ending

On the other hand I think she is on par with us fanfic girlies on how delusional she is

Spends time constantly reading romance novels and imagining herself as the female love interest or heroine

So when she meets you and is immediately attracted to you

It turns into oh yeah this is love at first sight

This is meant to be because look at how i feel

This is like in the books I read

And she wants to get married very quickly

Brings it up maybe once at the beginning of your relationship

If you dont agree she doesnt say anything again

Just tries to manipulate you into marrying her quickly by doing wifey things

She will put it on you and make you wanna marry her

Will have you forever and ever just don't try to leave because she will enter yandere territory

Deredere(explained on Emily's part because I did hers first)

Honesty I thought none of these fit her thoroughly

Shes too....normal I guess?

At least to fit these categories

She's literally just an artsy girl i don't know

Like shes a creative but not delusional like Elliott so yandere is out of the question

Especially because her last relationship moved at a pace she disliked and was going to restrict her and what she wanted to do

So obviously shes not going to be the type of partner to hold you back in any aspect

But shes not going to let you run over her

Shes just a stable adult

Love that for her tbh

Could never be me where can I learn to become a Leah?

Emily

Deredere

Described as someone who is energetic, kind, and caring and while they show their affection to their loved one they can still hold normal relationships with others.

The sanest one here

Would not let herself get swept up in romance to the point of where its her whole life

There are other things she has to worry about

Like her sister, the wellbeing of all of her friends, being the chilliest woman on the planet

Emily tingz

Is the least likely to do something deranged because she knows that your relationship is stable and she doesn't need to do anything special

Because you love her for her and she loves you for you

Like yeah shes a weird(affectionate) person in general

But I also think she's the oldest out of the bachelorettes(hcs maybe?)

So she does have a clear head most of the time.

Amd she has probably been around and knows that she doesn't have to be crazy because trust is a good thing and luckily she has trust in you

Was probably insane in her younger years and its why shes chill now

Tbh overall a green flag

Maru

Hajidere

Haley

Described as someone shy and nervous around their crush and can socialize with anyone who is not them. Usually blushes or gets flustered at them making the first move

Gives me vibes like she will become super clumsy in front of you

And 100 times more socially awkward

Will stutter and trip over her words

Or drop things

Is the definition if the shy anime girl tbh

"O-oh Farmer! D-did you s-see that?"

I cringed writing that pls

Like it isn't very apparent in the game she just gives me these vibes

Especially because she does sort of go on about her sciencey stuff but i think that's just her being a nerd

I feel like she would be fine before she has a crush

But the second she realizes her feelings it becomes a problem

Obviously you notice but I think you would be too nice to say anything

Unless you're an Abigail type then ofcourse you say something

Becomes dumber the longer you are in her space because you're so attractive and now she cannot breathe

Mayadere

described as someone who is usually the antagonist who switches sides after falling in love with the main character. Usually first appears hostile or intimidating but a change of heart allows them to reveal their true feelings later on

Mostly this because I think she's a butch

But then she becomes cute after getting to know the farmer

Honestly I did not really like her and wanted to fight her up until I actually started gaining hearts with her

So I feel like this fits totally because like

She was the antagonist of my story at least

And she became cute and lovable the second she started feeling feelings

Like with one of her heart events

You literally take pictures with animals

She gets mud in her hair and doesn't even complain like

How she got me on her side Idk

Would probably be the type of girl to be like

Oh farmers here? And then very loudly say things like

"Oh yeah i could TOTALLY grow a few crops no big deal AT ALL"

"Did they hear it? You think they want me to move in yet? Do you think they're in love with me yet? Of course they are i'm Haley duh."

Not quite tsundere because she wouldn't do the whole "its not like I like you" thing

She would make it clear that she likes you but that she's the prize and not you

Sometimes is still hostile before she remembers she can let down her walls.

Its a journey to get her to say what shes actually thinking about certain things but you get there!

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sidesteppostinghours · 15 days

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WIP its-not-Wednesday-but-close-enough

tagged by @autistic-sidestep! thank you for the tag :D i have,,, so many wips rn. pulp stop starting a million projects challenge. all of these are very rough, and a lot of them feature other steps, but i wanted to share a few :]

for writing, ive got these:

“What the hell, man!” Mitchel hisses. He’s let go, but he hasn’t bothered lowering his voice. Too loud, but real. Caine groans, pulling themselves up from the mattress. At least it wasn’t the floor– this could’ve hurt a lot worse. They wince at the throb in their shoulder as they reach for the wall, probing for a light switch. When he flicks it on reality re-establishes itself once more. It’s Caine’s room, familiarly bare-bones. There’s only a singular twin sized bed in one corner of the room and a desk just across, with a heap of laundry they haven’t bothered to do taking up the chair. Mitchel stands on the mattress in the middle, both parts pissed and bleary eyed. His cheek is a lightish colour that’s a telltale sign it’s going to bruise, and a portion of his blanket stubbornly clings onto his shoulder. There’s no threat in here, or at least nothing more threatening than Mitchel annoyed. The knowledge doesn’t stop the blood pounding in their ears.

-caine wakes up and gets jumpscared by @hyper-pixels mitchel. they react to this calmly.

Marshal Steel has hair stuck in his finger joints. That's the first thing Daniel noticed when he came in to work this morning. Steel has his civilian hands on, which is normal when he has admin work. Those civilian hands will usually have hair in it too, mostly from Spoon. That's also normal. What's not normal is the colour; because instead of the odd tufts of grey fur Daniel's used to seeing scattering Steel's joints, this is a single, longer strand that he's sure wasn't left on purpose. Because the hair strand is brown. Suspiciously similar to Ortega's own brown hair.

-herald is suspicious that his boss is having another secret relationship with a pretty old man, but its none of his business! not at all. thats why hes eavesdropping on them from the breakroom pantry.

“What are you two talking about?” Ortega jerks, nearly spilling coffee all over Wei, tearing a curse out of him as he yanks his head to the direction of the voice. Speak of the devil. Caine glances between the two, head cocked. When did he get here? Ortega doesn't remember inviting him, and nobody told him he was coming either. Not that Ortega isn't happy to see him, but the timing… “Dios mio, Spot, how long have you been standing there?” he mutters. He gives his coffee a once over, but nothing's spilled. He turns back to Caine and double takes. The poor guy looks like he's just run a marathon– he's drenched in his own sweat. He's not wearing his raggedy sweater, for once. Instead, he's got a skintight suit with a simple white tee over it.

-a multi-pov fic featuring the same conversation, but told from the perspective of ortega, chen, and caine. trying to practice voices with it, and so far its been fun digging into each of them!

as for art wips:

-arde and vera based on the song "the villain i appear to be"! i actually made this today after playing the new revelations demo lmfao. i do not remember what arde looks like 😔 im so sorry ive done you a disservice

the next two have blood+mild gore in them, so im throwing them under the cut!

-cyrus gets Fucked Up by a dream version of fawn from @villainsidestep, based on this absolutely vile(/pos) soul read of him:

because why not fuck him up even more??

-mitchel painting i have yet to put down colours for that i am lovingly dubbing "cannibalism (NOT ROMANTIC)". chew it out with your teeth mitchel!!!!

ill be tagging everybody mentioned in the post, plus @idlenight, @disastersteps, and maybe @euelios if you all wanna give this a shot?

#caine is a cringefail loser that cant place the fact that he is. fucking scared of mitchel. and i love dancing around that fact in writing #herald is fighting for his Life trying to mind his own business but his gaydar is beeping incessantly at him everytime chen is in the room #theres a line in the multi pov fic that is. accidentally really sus. but i find it so funny im keeping it like that #i love vera so much yall you dont understand #no spoilers for the rev demo but something about her that gets brought up makes me want to gnash my teeth w the implications of it #think its actually really fucked up and evil of me to make fawn hold both of their brothers tenderly by their faces #during the two times ive drawn things between their brothers for this fight #pov: u are cyrus getting held by your younger sib and realizing theyre way better at protecting and loving u all than you ever will be #the last drawing was based on a line kore casually threw out there while talking about ortega being a bitch #and it made me so insane i opened medibang like. immediately. help #caine lynzal #cyrus becker(s)#nmoc: mitchel becker #nmoc: fawn becker #sidestep #ortega #chen #chentega #herald #dove #arde #fhr #pulp writes #pulp draws

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jaxxsoxxn · 29 days

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you got more of NSFW Headcanons of Flasharang 👌💋

Oh boy, do I! ;] (hcs from before in chronological order: normal, nsfw, spicy, normal)

Boomer absolutely loves Barry's thighs - bites them the most. Flash has to sometimes just wack his head away because "I have to run tommorow, Digger!" but usually he let's him go at it.

They'd be the worst in a threesome - their jealousy and need to touch would make it horrible for the third person unless they're a voyeur.

Talking about voyeurism - even when none of em have enough patience for just watching, after some "worse" fights, Barry would just tie Boomer to the bed and make him watch get himself ready/finger him without letting him touch. Digger fights him only for a few minutes, before softly begging and being like "doll... Ya know I didn't mean it-" man's thinking he's slick lmao

Flash would absolutely fight til grave that he's not even a little sadistic - but he also definitely enjoys just not letting Boomer do anything, leaving him at his mercy.

One day he decided to just check every tattoo Digger has, maybe while using his mouth. Boomer absolutely curses him and his entire "Speedy goddamn bloodline".

Also, Barry likes to notice every small thing, so Digger can hide his more sensetive areas only for that long. Boomer's sure that he hid them well enough, until his fav Flash stabs him with his fingers slightly under his ribs and makes him choke on his spit.

Digger, who will also fight this violently til death, adores working for getting shit - like, of course you can open him up if you'll beg nicely.

Getting Barry ready is Boomer's fav part of topping him - if he can eat him out before? Even better.

One time he just spits at Barry's hole and gets a concussion right back, after he jolts and kicks him in surprise with superspeed, almost throwing him across the room.

Talking bout rimming, Digger always acts like it's the biggest embarrassment ever when he's on the reviving side - he will fight tooth and nail, just to curl his toes five seconds later like a little bitch.

Flash's a rider and them thighs are definitely working overtime. He's also the one bringing snacks and water after a longer session - Digger might give him few snack bars, but he's usually not as concerned about himself, which he should be.

Boomer's not actually a crier! So when he starts tearing up the first time mid sex, he can't help himself not to stop Barry, so he can "deal with it."

Barry is absolutely down to just stopping fully and helping him with it, but he believes that it's "stupid" and it'll "go away". They have a talk about it later, with lots of softness.

Their relationship stared by sex and Digger fully believed that it'll be just that, because "why would he want him any other way lmao"

They still have an issue with softer sex sometimes, when Barry actually let's himself love Digger, not fuck him. Poor ol' Cap needs few breaks in-between, when he can just take some shaky breaths and relax.

Barry's so carrying that the first few times when he's like "Poor baby, you need a break? We have all the time you need, just breath with me, love." Digger sobs. He also gets 100% more sensetive to everything.

Me 🤝(shaking hands emoji) Making Boomer pathetic

Also it turned slightly angsty at the end, didn't it? Well,,

Also, my Boomerflash lovers n dear anons, sorry for slower response, but I am drawing a shorter comic rn for these two with lyric from "Too Sweet" by Hozier! So expect that, I guess <3

#idk #probably bad english #bsing trough life #<3 #ssktjl #flash x captain boomerang #boomerflash #nsf/w #Nsf/w hc #spicy headcanons #Headcanons #Hc #Headcanon #Nsf/w Headcanons

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cccccasperghost · 10 months

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Does anyone else feel a little icky about oakworthy rn?

Especially after this episode it just doesn't feel right. Like at first it was fucking sweet to see a queer person in the main cast, like "oh an awkward quirky boy crushing on an overly confident drama dweeb, sick."

After the comedy standup episode and learning that no he didn't steal the mascot costume for school spirit and no he doesn't actually like Normal I was like ok cool, not ideal but certainly salvageable. Maybe an friends to enemies to lovers kind of thing, I still have hope for them.

Them after that is was just all downhill. It feels more like Hermie's just using the fact that Normal likes him for his own gain and that just doesn't sit right.

Like yeah Hermie has his own shit with his dad's going on as well as obvious mental health issues to deal with but that shouldn't be an excuse. And it certainly shouldn't be Normal's job to fix that.

And the fact that Normal is now developing actual feelings for Hermie and genuinely trying to help someone who (for lack of a better word because it feels too little to say crush) he loves just breaks me to see him get treated like this.

Hermie knows Normal likes him and he's actively using that to try and get Normal to first kill his dad then get with two of his friends.

Maybe if Hermie sees how much pain he's putting Normal through, or I don't know like Normal being doodlerised or something and he starts either trying or move on maybe then they can build a relationship or friendship.

I just want Normal to be happy, maybe it's just my own baggage filling into this or something but this isn't right. The amount of stress that Normal's under has got to stop.

I mean first your dad goes missing, then you realize your dad has been running some organization to fight monsters, turns out he isn't proud of you, one of you're friends alliance herself with a murderer, they kill your principal Infront of you, your dad fucked with the world up, you have to go into another dimension to save your dad, a weird monster thing from that world is the only person to see how hurt you are right now, you're finally able to go home, now your friends going through some shit that you have to help with. After that you learn that the boy you've been crushing on scammed you for your mascot costume, something you love very dearly, but that's fine you think its awesome that someone has that much school spirit- SIKE. Turns out he didn't do it for any reason you thought, actually he couldn't give less of a shit about you, now he's asking you to kill his dad for a date, then goes directly to you for advise to get with your friends after you learn that your very cruelty free very vegan and consent enforcing parents have been forcing your sister to fight and kill animals because she has to be the chosen one.

Like dude can't catch a break, so much is out of his control and none of the kids or adults seem to be doing anything about it or care. This is probably one of the only things he can control in his life and yet he's still getting hurt by it.

It would make sense if he got doodlerised and honestly that might have to be the thing that get his family and friends to care about it. I'm not saying all the other teens traumas and struggles aren't valid but you can't compare them.

Taylor has always had a good life, he's had a caring, rich, and financially stable mother.

Linc has two wonderful dads who care about his mental health and supports his interest, sure grant hasn't always been truthful about his really dangerous job but even when they were trying to keep the teens in the d.a.d.d.i.e.s building he cared about his sons wellbeing.

Scary is the only one out of them who stands a chance against the emotional pain scale against normal. Shehas a wonderful mother, but she struggles with not having her dad around and doesn't feel like she fits in her own family and now the fact that her step father has been shot in front of her which I'm not saying isn't as bad as what Normal's going through just hold on. All of the teens struggle don't even touch the generational pain that normal is going through with his entire life and the lives of his dad and uncle and his grandfather.

It's clear he's trying so hard to carry everyone else's pain and Hermie is deliberately using his kind and caring nature and it feels so wrong. He's not blind he can see how much normal is holding and using his emotions and Normal's knowledge on how he views him and using it against him.

I want so badly for it to work but I don't know how it can.

Anyways this was more stream of consciousness than I wanted but let me know your ideas on it, maybe I'm thinking about it wrong I don't know.

#i can't bare the pain of being #crying screaming gargling puking shitting streaming pissing fainting awaking crying #i know im thinking #too much about this #but i can't fucking stop #damn you autism and adhd #dungeons and daddies season 2 #dungeons and daddies #dndads season 2 #dndads #oakworthy #normally oak swallows garcia #hermie the unworthy

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bookwyrmshoard · 6 days

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Inheritance, by Nora Roberts

A perfect blend of wish-fulfillment fantasy, romance, and deliciously spooky atmosphere

Inheritance, the first book in Nora Roberts’s Lost Brides trilogy, provides the perfect blend of wish-fulfillment, friendship, romance, and spookiness. I loved Sonya, the main character, a spirited, entrepreneurial graphic designer who uproots her life to live in the historic manor she unexpectedly inherits on the Maine shoreline. I loved the friendly ghosts she tries so hard not to believe in, and the adorable dog she adopts (his name is Yoda!) The young lawyer, Trey, is as easy to like as he is on the eyes. His family, as well as Sonya’s newly-met cousin Owen and her best friend Cleo, are all likeable and sympathetic. Cleo in particular is delightful, and I have high hopes for a secondary romance between Cleo and Owen.

On the other hand, the malevolent ghost who haunts the mansion and intermittently threatens Sonya? She gives me chills. But just the right amount of chills to thrill, and not so many as to cause nightmares. (At least not yet. I have a feeling things may escalate in the second and third books.)

The publisher’s blurb summarizes the plot of Inheritance pretty well. Sonya hasn’t just inherited a gorgeous-but-haunted mansion, she has also inherited a family curse going back generations. And she’ll have to solve a family mystery and break the curse if she doesn’t want to become this generation’s victim.

One of the things I appreciate about Nora Roberts, particularly in the past 15 years or so, is that the suspense plot doesn’t drive the entire book or dominate the main character’s life to the exclusion of all else. Instead, Roberts’s books spend plenty of time developing the character and the character’s day-to-day life. Just like people facing challenges in real life, Roberts’s characters have to live their lives between, around, and despite whatever dangers they face. For Sonya, that means settling into the mansion, meeting and learning more about her own family, exploring her growing relationship with Trey, and getting to know the small town and its people. She’s building a life here, and that process is part of her character arc; it’s also Roberts’s way of creating the support network Sonya will need as the supernatural threat against her grows.

Another thing I appreciated is the “competence p*rn,” as Sarah from SBTB calls it. Everyone in this book—everyone who matters, that is—both enjoys and is extremely good at what they do. None of the sympathetic characters are unhappy in their job or struggling with self-doubt; no one is even merely mediocre. It’s refreshing, though perhaps a little intimidating for those of us who, well into into our adulthood, are still figuring out what we want to be when we grow up.

All in all, there’s not a single thing I would change about this book — not even the cliffhanger ending. Which, I’ll be honest, is not something I ever thought I would say. Normally I hate cliffhanger endings, but in this case I’m not really sure how else the book could have ended. That said, if you can’t stand cliffhangers, you should probably wait to read Inheritance until the second book comes out, or maybe even the third. Because this book? It will definitely leave you in suspense.

Challenges: Library Love Challenge 2024

Review originally published on The Bookwyrm's Hoard blog, 4/04/2024.

#book review #my reviews #nora roberts #lost brides trilogy #books #ghost stories #romance #contemporary romance

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webslingingslasher · 27 days

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“hey, i might not wait til marriage but you are and that's fucking cool”🥹🥹🥹 this is so cute and made me feel so good AHHH <3

okay I need to SPILL.

first I wanna say i know this isn’t a big deal and when I eventually talk to him about it, he’ll be reassuring but I’m freaking out first and i wanna talk to the girlies first instead, but I do feel like I can tell him (bc if u can’t talk ab these things w someone, you shouldn’t have sex w them in the first place)

but bro I am FREAKING out HDNDNDND. we’ve been looking at rings. he hasn’t proposed because he said he still wants me to be surprised and stuff but we got carried away talking one night and he let it slip that he wants to marry me and somehow we started looking at rings. we went to a couple shops just to get general ideas bc I have no idea what I want!!

ANYWAYS. I was super excited and I had a full blown freak out earlier😀 I’ve been waiting til marriage my whole life (I’m 23) but he hasn’t, he had multiple sexual partners in high school and college and a couple before he met me. I was just thinking ab our future wedding night bc it’s getting super real now and I don’t think it’ll be that far in the future and I was like omfg. this whole wait and it’ll be over in one night. like “that’s so exciting, FINALLY” type thing bc the wait has been hard😭 I’m just a girl and he’s soodkdjdkskskksskso sexy😭

and then I was like…. It’s all over in one night

and I was like, wait. I’m a virgin virgin. he isn’t. even just fingering/head (which I literally cannot WAIT for😭) is gonna be new bc I’ve never had another guys fingers in me and whatever. and I’m not nervous at all, I’m so excited, I’ve waited so long as u can imagine JDJDKDK but I was like realistically, it’ll probably be overwhelming. and then ur meant to do everything in one go? even in most ‘normal’ relationships where people aren’t waiting till marriage, you don’t usually go from 0-100 in a single night😭 that’s kinda insane. like ‘oh you’ve only kissed a boy? well here is literally everything under the sun!”

and I think I just realised today, for the first time, that maybe that wont realistically be what I want. like doing some things and then the rest after. like we’re gonna be married forever (that’s the plan😭) so we have all this time to go it yk. not that I’d necessarily wanna wait super long after we’re married, but I just feel kinda… bad. like, he’s waited this whole time, just for me. imagine we get married and he’s super excited to finally get to hit and in like “actually……..🤣”

idk. I just feel a little alone because even the religious/non-religious ppl I know (who decided to wait just because), none of them felt this way. they were so ready to just jump in and start boning (as they should bc the wait hasn’t been easy😭) but idk I feel… idk. I feel like that might not be me, like I feel like I might need a little more time just to get used to like, everything in reality yk. bc it’s all fun and games saying it rn but I realised earlier, when I started really thinking about it, that I haven’t done anything and realistically, even ppl that don’t wsit need more time yk.

he obviously won’t make me feel bad for this either, he’s not a monster & he’s very understanding but I’m just spiralling.

this might not even be a problem, realistically the second we’re married I might not even make it to the after party and just be like “dick in me now pls” but… ifkdjdjddjdjw

I’m thinking too much lol. I’ve waited 23 years and it’s so real now that my mind is spinning. I’m sorry for the ramble but thank u for listening & for the girlie talk JDJDJDX💗💗💗💗💗💗 i love u so much

(I am sooo ready to get married tho😭💗)

i am so happy for you both!!! i really wish you the best of luck!

i think him being experianced will help out so much in the long run, but girl, there's nothing to worry about! if he's waited this long, what's a little more? like you said, you may change your mind but you said you wanted to wait until marriage. so i'm with you, why does it have to be your wedding night?

it sounds like he's going at your pace and he's in no rush to bed you either. you already know you're gonna talk to him about this so kudos! and coming from me, it sounds like you're ready for sex and that's awesome.

you're excited and that's the most important. (after loving and trusting your man.) trust me, it'll be worth the wait and i can't wait to hear about the proposal!

#thanks anon!

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dillislazii · 3 years

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//tw heavy vent in tags that probably doesn’t even make sense I just need to write something down

#why can’t I actually have well thought out logical counterpoints and arguments when my mom confronts me abt sum shit #why does my mind just throw have sentences and feelings at me all at 80mph but doesn’t stop to let me grab one #why do I automatically feel like anything I say will just be used against me or one of my siblings #‘you should have come to me first before talking to your siblings’ ‘I’d hope you would talk to me first before telling the other kids’#yeah maybe I don’t feel like I can talk to you ever because you’re ‘always right’ or justifiable in your actions?#maybe none of us want to have a ‘normal relationship’ with you rn because of all the hurt you’ve caused over our whole lives #but I can’t say that because I know you won’t accept it #‘I’m not perfect I’m sorry for what I’ve done’ in THAT tone wouldn’t fix anything #‘I was a very good mom’ you always say on the brink of tears #how are we supposed to argue with that #yes. you were good with some things but you hurt us on others and just because we all are realizing just how much you’ve hurt us now and #need space and time to process isn’t unfair to you #just because all of us are talking about the hurt you’ve cause and processing that together doesn’t mean we’re just gossiping about you #shut up about the stupid ‘I’ve been so unhappy in my marriage and if I stayed I would kill myself do you want that??’ argument #you KNOW it’s deeper than that #ofc we don’t want you to stay in this loveless marriage it’s just the way you’re handling it #we know dad isn’t faultless but he’s been more receptive to hearing our hurts while we legitimately can’t address that w you #and how you NEVER come up to my room but you did just to tell me you’re leaving?#since when? you’ve never had a problem texting or calling me about something so trivial #I see through your shit I know you wanted to sneak up there to catch me on the phone with my siblings #your emotional manipulation is astounding #fuck I need therapy #‘you don’t know this but I’ve been telling your dad I want a divorce for eight years now’ SHUT UP THAT WAS MY LIFE WTF DO YOU MEAN #at least I was able to confront you on that #I constantly heard you yelling at him and saying you’d leave #it became normal which is fucked up thank you very much #when you told us this year I wasn’t even surprised that you wanted a divorce I was just surprised you’re really going thru with it this time #why do I feel like any time you’re ‘unhappy’ w me I can’t help but feel like you’ll take away smth like the things you do are conditional #and not simply bc you’re my fucking mom #I love you but I don’t know how to act around you when you’re so unhealthy

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twopoppies · 3 years

Note

Firstly No pressure to read any of the below it’s just a lil rant after I ended up on the wrong side of tumblr!! ( + I have ADHD and i forgot my meds lol so its a bit disoriented and all over the place) and no response necessary unless you want to!

Oh god I accidentally ended up on the wrong side of tumblr....never ever ever ever again, I went back so fastttt lol im laughing at myself rn for how quickly i clicked away from disgust

i ended up on a blog that stalks u and some other larries and says absolutely atrocious things abt louis (I can send u their @ if u'd like so u can block them) and fully bought the stunt bs happening rn and it was horrible obvs but like i just do not understand like it was so creepy gina and im just so disgusted bc why? yk?

like u were not joking abt anti's actually being obsessed with larries - like half this person's blog was talking abt you and amy and i was just so shocked cause why??? like mate come on what the actual f? get a life please?? (im quite new so im like just now realising how insanely weird and obsessed these anti's are)

Also it was just an overall eye opener for multiple things:

Starting with that 1. the way 1DHQ and 1D Management managed to alienate larries actually worked and i like knew but truly doing a proper deep dive and seeing multiple blogs hate on larries and like obsessively stalk us was insane?? Like they truly believe everything they’re being fed???

Side Note: Lowkey feeling very lucky to have had the education i have because even before i even joined this fandom i believed partially none of the relationships in the news bc like i knew abt this industry and how it worked yk? i mean its logic? i have so many mates that arent even in the fandom that know i am in the fandom and texted me when the articles started rolling out calling it out for what it was: A PR stunt

Hell someone i know whom i had never even talked abt fandom stuff/stunt stuff fully texted me making a joke out of it!!! like people who aren’t even in our fandom can see it and its just insanely surprising that if they can why cant the antis?? im just a bit shocked rn

both from 1. finding someone who actually believes in this stunt and 2. multiple blogs that fully commit their time to stalking u and other larries and once again i knew but fully seeing it

YK AT FIRST I WAS LIKE IS THIS A JOKE I DIDNT BELIEVE IT GINA I THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS PULLING MY LEG OR THIS PERSON WAS IDK BEING SARCASTIC AND HAD A MESSED UP SENSE OF HUMOUR but ye anyway

It made me realise that 1DHQ knew what the fuck they were doing when they were trying to alienate larries from the rest of the fandom, once again i am feeling extraordinarily grateful to have grown up with an education where i was literally taught to never trust anything and to always think things thru using logic - “does it makes sense to you? if not find out why, there usually a reason behind everything” my yr 9 english teacher used to say smth like that all the time and it just never left me bc she was always teaching us to judge everything and to take every piece of news we read entertainment or otherwise with a grain of salt and to always if we’re gonna give someone else our opinion or spread this information do our research (its what i am when i say i feel lucky to have had the education i have had)

Eye Opener 2: Anti’s are fully standing y’all u were 100% correct this is some next level stan behaviour if i’ve ever seen some, you’re famous gina!!

It is while surprisingly to realise that anti’s fully believe these things, more surprising to see how they treat larries bc why on earth would u treat any other human being this way??? like dont get me wrong they’re horrible ppl and i fully felt like sending them a message telling them exactly that but i would never bc i just dont want to make another person feel bad abt themselves even if they are that shitty of a person and it was very tempting

I just would like to understand why they feel the need to do this? like why hate on a whole other person? for what believing smth diff to u? having a difference of opinion? how tf are they gonna make it when they get a job??? like??? do u know how often i run into a person with a different opinion then me? it shouldn’t be that big of a deal! we should still be able to be friends with antis! but we’re not - not for lack of trying btw!! they’re just so mean and rude??? when i was in other fandoms when someone believed different things there was never this much hatred at someone for it!! hell there was barely any bc it was understood that it was normal to have diff opinions abt things and i just am truly fascinated by these ppl i swear they remind how stupid the human race can sometimes be not for what they believe (altho ngl a lil of that too) but for how they treat other ACTUAL human beings with different opinions to them

Eye Opener 2.5: Some people need lives, man like they proper do need lives and something to do maybe a hobby or smth? just like a life they need to get one of those and actual live it

and Eye Opener 3: I already felt this way but like even god damn stronger now you deserve a formal apology from both 1DHQ and the universe

and until we get that u deserve amazing things coming from the boys on your bdays to make up for it

Lastly Gina I hope you didn't read thru all that bc I couldn’t even read it over and thus sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes and I would also like to say that I love your blog and everything about you! you’re an absolute angel and one of the kindest ppl I have ever had the pleasure of well not meeting but stumbling across, you truly make this fandom a much much much better place with your presence (I shudder to think of it without u) that said if you ever need to take breaks or leave Im sure you already know but you should 100%

You first!!! Always! :)

Have a good day Gina, I hope its an absolutely amazing one!

Hi darling. LOL! Reading this was like talking with my kids when they don't take their ADHD meds. Lots of excited thoughts!! I loved it.

And yeah, that blog and their 4 followers are really... not well. But you're very right. 1DHQ made this fandom a breeding ground for people to hate larries and to think it's something Harry and Louis would both approve of. It's gross.

The gaslighting here is powerful, so thank goodness for fans like you who know to question what they're told and to look at things with logic and to do their best to see through their own biases.

Thank you for all the sweet words and your offer to kick butt (in your other message). I really appreciate it!

#long post

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jae-daddy · 3 years

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Duff (4)

jaebum au series

one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight masterlist

pairing: im jaebum x reader genre: angst, smut, cheating, CEO! i guess too now plot: you are the duff, and guys use you to get close to your bestfriend, turns out jaebum was no exception. but as time goes on the tension between you and your bestfriend’s unoffical boyfriend grows a/n: it so late, I'm literally seeing double rn... hope y’all like it! <3 not edited.

Life is brimming with lessons that teach you how to live without being naive and a fool.

You were already taught a few lessons by life, as it made you jump through endless hoops burning with malicious flames waiting to scorch your skin at slightest touch.

So you found it fair to hold yourself as intelligent and mature.

Therefore, you trusted your conclusion to ignore whatever happened in the elevator with Im Jaebum.

What was said, what was done; none of it mattered.

An important lesson you’ve learnt is people say and do crazy things when they are riding high a shot of adrenaline.

Jaebum’s near-death experience led him to say things that he would not on a normal day. It was only because he was scared that he did. And everyone wants to die an honest man. You were certain if it were Paul in the elevator instead of you, Jaebum might have confessed something outrageous to him too.

So that was not the reason why you were staring at the two males in front of you as they spoke absolute nonsense to you. You already knew not to take what happened in that tiny metal box seriously. Instead, it was another life lesson you knew that made you stare at them as if they had grown two heads: everything has a price.

“Not everyone gets an opportunity like this, y/n,” Paul spoke, a second away from begging on his knees.

You shook your head in distaste, this was not part of the plan. Actually, there was no plan, but if you had one, this would definitely not be it. This was not how you imagined your lottery internship to turn out.

“Paul, I am flattered the company believes me to be capable of such an important role,” you breathed, trying to keep a polite smile as your eyes bounced between the bald man and the smirking jerk. “However, I do not think I would be suitable for this role. I made it clear in my internship contract that I will not have my studies affected by this opportunity. Unfortunately, being the secretary of the -”

“I’m sorry to stop you, y/n,” Paul cut you off, not apologetic at all. You bit your cheeks to hold back a sneer. “We have thought about this through, and believe it to be the best plan of action to take right now. Mr Im is new to this company and is temporary, and while we have made a public announcement, he is still on trial.

“We could get someone in a fixed-term confidential contract, but that’s too complicated.”

Your brows furrowed as you disagreed with that, but you didn't say anything.

“The remaining time left in your contract and Mr Im’s trial period match up perfectly. You already have secretarially role in the company, so you already know the ups and downs, the tricks and tips, so we really believe this is the best way. And about your studies, the summer break began last week. However, if you believe this to be in violation of your contract, we will compensate.”

“Compensate?” You rose an eyebrow, payment would be better than slaving away for free.

“Pay you, just like any other employee,” Paul smiled happily. Finally seeing some indication of interest from your side. He added, proudly, “with all employee benefits.”

You bit your lip in deep thought.

You mentally weighed the pros and cons.

There were pros, so many pros; a better resume, money, free coffee and healthcare, etc. But the con, the big con stared at you in bold, italics, highlighted in large red fonts: you’d be working for Im Jaebum.

If this was someone else you would have said yes the moment they offered it, even without the benefits. But with Im Jaebum, things got complicated.

You weren’t sure if he could maintain the professional relationship between the two of you. And if you were being completely honest, you didn’t know if you could maintain it too.

Even now, with Paul standing at one end of the table, and Jaebum settled on the long side. Your mind couldn’t help thinking about how short your skirt was, and how easy it would be for Jaebum to bend you over the wooden table, and make you a moaning mess.

It would be quite difficult to maintain professionalism when you’d be spending time alone with him. Or maybe, he would use his position to make you suffer. He might end up not coming to work at all, have you do all his work, and just show up to sign and show his face.

So much could go wrong with working for Im Jaebum.

And you also had to consider the fact that you hadn’t talked to him since the elevator incident.

You haven’t been to Heather’s place, too busy with the piled up assignments all due within the last two weeks. The twenty hours of weekly internship didn’t give you any freed up time either. You didn’t get an opportunity to see Heather, or her boyfriend, Im Jaebum, to have a talk.

“Oh come on, y/n,” Jaebum smiled at you, making your blood boil instantly. This was the first thing he said to you in the past two weeks and somehow managed to be an arrogant shit-eater when he did. Your glare didn’t make his smile falter as he sang, “It’ll be fun.”

No way. You thought. There is no way you would be able to work for that self-centred, cocky, incredibly hot jerk.

“We’ll cover your fees.” Paul stopped you before the no on the tip of your tongue tumbled out. You stared at him in shock, as he looked at you expectedly.

“My university fees?” You asked, shocked.

“Yes, all of it.” He nodded.

That’s a lot.

Your eyes fell on Jaebum who smirked at you as if he had the whole entire world at his feet's disposal, and maybe he truly did. He had something similar to that power if the company was willing to go to such extents to make him stay.

The pros were really starting to outweigh the annoying, irritating con.

“Fine,” you licked your lips, with a sigh. “I’m in.”

Paul almost jumped in his place with excitement, “Thank you, y/n! Thank you so much!”

Paul walked out swiftly muttering something about going to the HR and having a contract formed immediately. Your eyes followed him as he left, remaining on the doors that closed behind him.

You could feel his gaze burning the side of your face, and it truly felt as if you were about to combust.

“What?” You snarked, turning towards him annoyed.

Jaebum just snickered as he swirled side to side, carefree, on his chair, “Why are you always so mad, love?”

You rolled your eyes getting up, “I guess this meeting is over.”

“I didn’t dismiss you, y/n,” Jaebum said, stopping his playful actions.

“You’re not my boss until I sign that piece of paper, so,” you gave him a middle finger with a tight smile before walking out the office.

You could hear his light laughter follow you, but you ignored it.

You stopped in your tracks as you remembered something and entered the room once again. Jaebum looked up at you, surprised, before smiling brightly, “Welcome back.”

You cursed yourself for returning after such an amazing exit, but there were more pressing matters than your pride.

“Have you told Heather about what happened?” You closed the door behind you, making sure no one could hear you.

Jaebum’s eyes danced with amusement, as he shrugged, drawling, “What happened?”

“In the elevator, Jaebum,” you gritted through your teeth as you stepped closer towards him.

Jaebum’s smiled only grew as he frowned with feigned innocence, “I can’t seem to remember, maybe if you could help me remember.”

His lazy gaze fell to your lips before meeting your eyes again. A spark ignited deep inside you, and you told yourself it was anger; it was an annoyance.

You clicked your jaw as you smacked your hands onto the desk, leaning over it. Jaebum watched you, carefully, not intimidated a bit, only amused.

Your eyes narrowed at him, before you smiled sweetly, “You were holding my hand and crying like a child.”

Jaebum hissed, unaffected, as he tsked, “I can’t seem to remember that.”

“Did you tell her or not?” You groaned, your annoyance at peak.

What you would do to this man if you got a chance. He wouldn’t be smiling like that, he’d be begging you for forgiveness, for release.

Jaebum smirked as if he could read your mind, “No, I didn't.”

“Good,” you nodded, gulping as his eyes watched you with unsettling darkness. “Don’t.”

He rose his eyebrow, before nodding, “As you wish, y/n.”

You turned and felt his gaze watch you as you walked out. You felt it lower, watching your hips as it swayed side to side. Your hand gripped the cool handle as your shoulders sagged slightly.

You let out a low sigh, “Thanks.”

You disappeared behind the door before Jaebum could reply.

“Babe!” Heather sang as her long limbs fell over you loosely. You laughed, as you helped her sit straight. She leaned against you again, snuggling her face into your neck as she hugged you, “I love the way you smell, baby!”

You chuckled as you patted her red matted hair soiled with glitter and sweat at the back of the Uber, “Thanks Heather, I like how you smell too.”

“Don’t lie,” you could hear her pout, and it only made you smile. “You always make fun of my feet.”

“But that’s only after the gym or a hike, Heather,” you told her, as you brushed the hair off her face.

Heather was completely wasted tonight.

She was already drunk by the time you walked into the club. Jaebum wasn’t anywhere to be found, and you found her with a group of her “friends” that you didn’t like.

They would always make her drink too much, give her a little white sugar, and let her waste her platinum card on those low lives.

You didn’t like the way the guys would touch her as she slumped back onto the couch unable to see straight. You didn’t like the way the girls sitting around would not help her, instead, encourage her to be worse.

You were mad when you were pulling her away from the crowd and towards the bathroom when you had found Jaebum. He had just got to the club himself but was ready to leave as soon as he saw the state Heather was in.

He sat on the other side of Heather, holding her purse, as Heather held you from the middle seat.

Heather mumbled something in return and you couldn’t understand it.

“By that red letterbox is fine,” you told the Uber driver as he slowed down.

Jaebum got out first, and you helped Heather onto his back before getting out. You turned to the driver, giving him a small smile, “Thank you.”

“No problem, have a good night,” he said, already accepting a new ride.

“You too,” you said, as you closed the door. You turned to Jaebum, with Heather hanging her head over his shoulder. Her long ember curls falling down his chest as he grunted and halted her up.

“Woah, stop,” Heather moaned, heaving.

Jaebum looked at you with terror in his eyes, and you laughed at him, “Come on, let’s get this party animal into bed.”

“Is this where you live?” Jaebum asked as you led him up the small walk to the door.

You snorted and shook your head, “No, this is Heather’s home.”

Jaebum rose his eyebrows, and you continued, as you unlocked the doors,

“Her parents don’t live in this house anymore, so Heather skips between here and the apartment.”

You turned the lights on and took in the home that greeted you.

“They love sure love red, huh?” Jaebum commented, taking in the red couch, red feature wall, and red details spread over the living room and kitchen.

You laughed at that, agreeing with him. The Blacks sure did take pride in their red-haired heritage, and didn’t hide the fact that it was family’s favourite colour, “Mrs Black was going through an interior design phase.”

“Thank god it was just a phase,” Jaebum snickered, making you turn to him with a pointed look as you tried to hide the smile.

“She wasn’t too bad,” you replied and began walking towards Heather’s room.

Jaebum followed behind you, grunting as he adjusted Heather on his back, “No, she was just too red.”

You rolled your eyes as you opened her bedroom door and walked towards the bed. You pulled down the covers and Jaebum gently set her down. You took off her shoes, and earrings carefully.

Jaebum didn’t say anything and just watched you as you walked around the room getting out her nightshirt, and face-cleansing products.

“Why are you looking at me, Jaebum?” You asked, not looking at him. Instead, you pumped out the cleanser on a pad and gently took off the makeup from her face.

“Is there a problem?” Jaebum asked back, making you snort.

You gently turned her face and began the other side, “Yes, it’s making me nervous. I can feel you judging me.”

He was probably thinking what everyone else seemed to think when they saw you and Heather. They never saw the whole you both had for each other, how you would do anything for one another. All they saw was Heather in all her brilliance, beauty and wealth, and you, as her second, her side-kick.

“I’m not judging you,” he replied instantly.

Something about the way he said it made you believe him. You bit your lip, as folded the dirty make-up pads and put them on the side table.

“Then what are you doing?” You took a wet towel, wiping her face. You patted it dry and misted some toner and moisturiser. You turned back and met Jaebum’s eyes that remained on you, “Why are you looking at me?”

“There’s nothing else to look at,” he simply shrugged.

You rolled your eyes and pointed to the wall covered with photos of Heather through the years. Most of them had you in them, celebrating every holiday, and some photos from random days when the sun was shining brightly.

Jaebum stared at the wall as if noticing it for the first time. He got up and slowly walked up towards it. He took in the photos for a while, a small chuckle leaving him sometimes, “How did you two become friends?”

You smiled at the memory, “She saved me.”

You stared at your gorgeous friend, as she got up slightly. She searched around, her eyes disappearing as she smiled spotting you, “Oh, you’re here, y/n. I was going to the store on Wednesday.”

She trailed off, falling back into her pillow dozing off again.

“Her hangover is going to kill her tomorrow,” you turned to Jaebum with a tight smile, as you held up the nightshirt, “I’m going to change her.”

Jaebum instantly turned on his heels and walked out, closing the doors behind him.

You walked out to the smell of coffee and Jaebum sitting at the kitchen counter with two mugs in front of him. You furrowed your eyebrows as you settled on the chair in front of him, “Is this poisoned?”

Jaebum snorted rolling his eyes.

You blew the coffee before sipping it. It was still searing hot, so you placed it down on the counter, and turned towards Jaebum.

You took in his midnight hair pushed back, revealing his forehead. You didn’t know you could find someone’s forehead so sexy, but after seeing his hair down while he was at work, you had to admit it was hot. His piercings that were normally missing during office hours had returned too, a few missing.

You frowned your eyes focusing on his nose and eyebrows, “Why aren’t you wearing all your piercings?”

“It’s a nuisance putting it on and off,” Jaebum shrugged, before pointing to his lips, his tongue coming out to flick the sliver hoop, “Just wore my favourite.”

You held your breath, as the image of the cool metal against your lips, flicked by your tongue, gently tugged by your teeth invaded your mind. Your cheeks heated but you continued like nothing was happening to your body.

“Do you have piercings anywhere else?”

Jaebum smirked, “If you’re into pierced nipples, I can get them done for you.”

You groaned, a ridiculous smile on your face as you shook your head, “Can you ever have a conversation without being a prick?”

“A prick?” he gasped, “that’s a bit harsh. I would say I’m more of a flirt.”

“Oh, so you know? This is a conscious decision. You wake up every day and decide to be the bane of my existence.”

“I do wake up every morning and think of you,” Jaebum smiled at you. He chuckled, seeing you roll your eyes at him.

“You’re ridiculous,” you snorted. Jaebum simply shrugged, smiling.

Something beeped from the kitchen and Jaebum got up. You watched him walk over to the stove and turn it off. He reached for a mug before looking through the drawers for something.

You narrowed your eyes watching him, “What are you looking for?”

“Uh... a strainer?” He turned back to you, scratching the back his head. “I don’t know what it’s called.”

Your heart melted at how adorable he looked standing there, confused and unsure. The smile on his lips was so beautiful as he watched you, waiting for you.

“The second drawer over there,” you pointed, not looking at him as your cheeks tinted rosy again.

Jaebum murmured thanks, before using it to drain the liquid from the pot and into the cup, “It’s a hangover tea. My mum makes it for me every time I get too drunk.”

“You live with your mum?” You asked. Jaebum peered back at you a small smile on his lips.

“Yeah, but I rarely ever get to see her.”

“Why’s that?” You frowned. The way Jaebum talked about her, the lightness in his voice and the softness of his smile, told you how much he adored his mother.

Jaebum shrugged before giving you a cheeky smile, “My house is too big.”

You laughed at that. You were not expecting that at all. You heard Jaebum’s low chuckle as you sobered up.

“What about you?” He asked as placed the cup onto a tray with a glass of water and two tablets he found next to the refrigerator. “Do you live alone?”

“Yup,” you nodded, before frowning, “Not even a pet.”

“No pets?” He asked, sympathetic.

You nodded, “I’m scared of animals. It doesn’t matter what size, or how well-trained, or what the animal is. I am terrified of them all the same.”

Jaebum gasped as if you had confessed to a murder, “What is wrong with you?”

“Wow, I thought this was a safe place,” you mumbled before taking a sip from your coffee that had cooled down. You hummed at the taste, he made good coffee.

“What about your parents?” Jaebum asked, making you stiffen. “Where do they live?”

You remained quiet.

You opened your mouth to tell him what you always told anyone who asks. It wasn’t that you were embarrassed or thought it was something to hide. You didn’t want people in your business and telling them to mind their business when they asked only piked up their interest more.

So you opened your mouth to tell him what you’ve been telling everyone for the past five years, “I don’t live with them.”

Normally you would follow up with something about living here was better for your education or future jobs. You would say something, an excuse, that was reason enough for many young people to move out of their parents home. But what you said surprised you, “I don’t talk to them anymore.”

“Oh,” was all Jaebum said. “That’s cool too.”

You peered up at him with a frown. You took in his relaxed gaze, the smile on his face just like it there was a minute ago. There was no sympathy, no pity. There was no spike in interest or anything.

He really didn’t want to pry. He didn't want to know why unless you told him. He only took as much as you could allow him.

Suddenly there was an iridescent pond shimmering in your chest. It swirled, making your whole body feel alive as you took in Im Jaebum. It felt as if your entire body was one cell, one tiny speck of dust caught in the breeze of Im Jaebum, and it didn’t mind.

You gulped, your body and mind acting quicker than you could control, “They couldn’t stand the sight of at me after they found out I was still doing something I promised I wouldn’t do anymore.”

The faces of your parents appeared in front of your eyes. The shock, anger, the disappointment on their face as they found you lying in a pool of your urine and vomit. The horror in their eyes, their desperateness as they shook your body, pleading for you to reply.

“They didn't kick me out. I left,” you ran a hand through your hair, as you let out a heavy sigh. You thought of the letter you wrote them, the way they had cried when they came to the hospital to meet you during those months, “I couldn’t hurt them anymore.”

“Do you think you would ever go meet them again?” You looked up to Jaebum watching you. You were thankful for the lack of pity in his eyes as he kept his gaze on you.

You sighed again, and it came out as a little laugh, “One day I will.”

You nodded, as you met his eyes. He smiled at you softly, and you smiled back as you scrunched your nose to stop the tears from threatening you, “When I am good enough, I will.”

“I hope that day comes soon.”

You didn’t realise Jaebum had come this close to you as you were talking. He leaned against the counter between you, his eyes intently taking you in. He folded his hands on the dark marble, his face leaning half-way over the counter.

You watched him back.

He was so beautiful.

You huffed out a smile as you shook your head at him. Jaebum instantly changed, leaning back, the playfulness in his eyes glinting once again as he rose an eyebrow in question.

“You’re not too bad, you know?” You smiled at him, before adding, “When you’re acting like a normal human being at least.”

Jaebum laughed at that before giving you a mocking smirk, “You’re not too bad yourself, y/n.”

You grinned about to say thank you, when he added, “When you’re not acting like a stick is stuck up your ass at least.”

“What an asshole,” you shook your head, laughing at him.

Jaebum beamed back, his eyes shining, “What a bitch.”

You took in the dark flecks in his eyes. You noticed their velvety blackness absorbing all light around it, but something else existed in those captivating eyes of his eyes. They didn’t get dragged away into the twilight of his gaze.

Instead, it shone brightly. It glistened, it was golden, white and sparkled like a starry night. It dragged you in, it made you want to lean close to him.

It made you want to place your lips on his and see how that shimmering halo swirled as he pulled you in closer. It made you want to reach for him, to place your hand on his soft cheeks. It made you want to walk around the counter and hug him in the middle of the kitchen littered with red embellishments.

Jaebum’s smile curled into an easy smirk as he winked at you before turning around. He picked up the tray with a cup of tea, a glass of water and Panadol, as walked towards the door the red-haired beauty was sleeping in.

Everything had a price.

Somewhere deep within your heart was a corner buried so deeply in the darkness you had forgotten it existed. The room was cold, dark, and there was nothing. Nothing except for a lone candle standing in the middle of the emptiness.

There had been nothing there for an eternity, and it was almost like magic. It almost felt like a trick of the eye, but then it happened again.

A flame, a spark, flickering at the tip of the candle; it sparked again.

This time it caught on. It burned, slowly getting brighter and livelier.

You watched Jaebum disappear behind the door of Heather’s room.

A sharp ache twisted your heart as you saw his broad back enter the dark room she was sleeping in.

The flame spreading over the wick twisted in shades of ember, their shadows dancing over the room.

You saw a word, you saw a face.

You knew the price for this feeling tugging, craving to grow bigger in your heart. You walked into the room, hidden in a deep corner of your heart. The ivory trail of your dress dragged on the dusty floor, turning brown with every step.

You didn’t look at the walls, you didn’t take in the shapes of the flames.

You took sharp, clear steps. You reached the candle, the flame reflecting softly against you. You closed your eyes, took in a deep breath and exhaled, blowing out the candle.

The flame was gone.

The candle extinguished, the room engulfed in darkness, once again.

You looked to the wall, the photo was no longer there but the image there was burnt into your mind.

The price of this feeling was too expensive.

It was too precious, and you couldn’t afford it.

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still-a-morosexual-help · 3 years

Text

OBEY ME! LESSON 52 DETAILED SUMMARY + THEORIES

Two locked lessons :( hopefully telling where the fuck Mammon & Luke have been

Lucifer’s immediately suspicious of them, asking who they are and whose in charge of them. MC points at their obviously non-angelic clothes and says they’re angels while Satan says Simeon’s their guardian (weren’t Simeon & Lucifer really close back then? Wouldn’t he have told Lucifer if he got new angels?). He says it’s good luck then that he ran into a seraph’s assistants as he dumbs a load of books on them and says ‘I’m a seraph assist me’ or rather ‘carry these books to the library for me’ – Satan gets ready to protest but Lucifer cut him off saying that assuming they really are angels they’d know who he was (really didn’t like that ‘assuming you really are angels bit’) meaning his orders are not optional so get to work. Satan silently glares at him. Lucifer complains about how this is not even his job but Raphael’s who’s been picking on Lucifer to get back for how much shit his brother’s cause (I’ve so many HCs about Raphael and Michael. Raphael I always see as stoic and stiff who gets into those aggressively polite, passive-aggressive, thin lipped smile, voices hissed out and cutting, arguments with Lucifer about his brothers and punishing them adequately. Considering Michael is supposed to be somewhat childish personality wise and Raphael is serious I also see them having a relationship very similar to Diavolo and Lucifers’, With Raphael being Michael’s weary but fond handler). Satan says if his brothers are acting out then maybe Lucifer’s just bad at supervising them, MC sighs and sympathises with the tone of someone who has lived through the exact same experience which Lucifer immediately picks up and comments on. Beel’s been sneaking food, Belphie keeps escaping to the human world and even though they’re relatively minor things their frequency makes them add up and Raphael won’t stop being snide and sarcastic about it. Satan cuts off Lucifer’s ranting about how terrible Raphael is (given that outside of his brothers Simeon’s the only one Lucifer seems close with in the Celestial Realm and knowing Lucifer he’d never unload his troubles on to his brothers in fear of being seen as not being in control, and Beel mentioned Lucifer usually stuck to staying inside the Celestial Palace it makes sense that he desperately needs someone to rant to) saying that Lucifer complains too much and if he’s so happy here maybe he should just leave the celestial realm and head to – but he’s cut off by Lucifer saying “for an angel you really seem ready to start shit huh” and I’m pretty sure he knows :) Satan just silently glares back. Lucifer tries to tell them what the organising system in the library is but Satan cuts him off saying he can see what it is by just looking and then he diverts his attention to psychoanalysing Lucifer, asking if Lucifer’s pushing them around cause Raphael pushes him around. Lucifer ignores the last part saying no matter how much sully seems like he wants to tear Lucifer’s head off he’s skilful and knows his way around books, when Satan only glares back he asks if Satan likes books to which he replies that every book in this library is precious. Lucifer laments about how none of his brothers like books despite how much he tries to get them into reading and that there’s no one he knows who he can talk to about them since Michael “overcomplicates things and twists them into something they’re not” (do you think Michael has started his Lucifer shrine at this point or does that happen after the fall?) and Raphael “who’s snide and generally unpleasant” (God if they do introduce the angels I desperately want them to be dicks. Like give me one person who’s an asshole that’s not hiding a secret soft side, I want someone who looks at MC sneers and then continues to never fall in love with them) though there is Simeon who’s the most normal of them. He says his life would be easier if he had someone like Sully for a brother (poor Satan’s probably going through a crisis rn). Lucifer says that Satan can look around and pick any book he wants and even points him towards a section meant only for seraph. Satan hesitantly picks up one and asks for permission and Lucifer notes he’s a fan of art. After they’re done Lucifer calls Satan close to look at a particularly interesting book with a blank cover. There’s a flash of bright white light and chains burst from inside the book and wrap around Satan who gets immediately pissed off, demanding what’s happening (earning their trust just to flip on them like that!? Specially satan!? The years of progress that just undid!?) Does he already know Satan is a demon? I mean they’re both pretty suspicious either way but I’m pretty sure he won’t take them to the other higher ups considering how he spoke about them and I’m 100% sure if this was pre-Diavolo angel!Lucifer he would have killed Satan on the spot without bothering to trap him.

Satan yells at Lucifer to do something (I don’t know if it’s sweet or sad that no matter how much Satan pretends to hate Lucifer in the end he absolutely believes Lucifer would never do anything to hurt him and would help him if he was in trouble even when Satan’s usual logic should tell him that Lucifer intentionally gave him the book). Lucifer says it makes sense that Satan got caught and when MC tries to help him Satan tells them to stay back cause he doesn’t want them to get caught either. Lucifer says the book is alive and catches evil beings and the harder you struggle the tighter the chains get (don’t you think Evil has two meanings in the OM! World? The brothers and the demons in general are referred to as evil a lot but when it comes down to it they’re all good people – heavily flawed with pretty loose morals – but more or less good people certainly not bad enough to be called evil. Evil tm seems to be what all demons naturally are but that it seems to have nothing to do with the puppy kicking, baby eating, mass murder you’d usually associate with the term. So yeah two different meanings. I think technically inanimate objects like the book would react to the natural Evil tm in the brothers and actual people like the angels will associate that natural Evil tm with the normal evil we all know and thus believe all demons are puppy kicking, baby eating, mass murderers). Lucifer said he would have known if Simeon got two angels (BOOM!) and that he knew from the beginning they weren’t angels (just look at their freaky ass non-white coloured clothes!). Satan says Lucifer playing dirty is something that has never changed. Lucifer says he has no fucking clue what Satan’s talking about and then looks at MC and says “wtf are you anyway” when MC answers he says that Michael’s being interested in a human sorcerer recently but guesses that’s not MC, he says they’re obviously not a demon or angel but doesn’t seem to believe the human thing fully too because he again asks and emphasises, “Interesting…What are you, exactly…” (This is the second time OM!’s implied MC’s not fully human, demon or angel with the first being in a devilgram. In my first ever HC list I said I see MC as a hybrid of the three while still being mostly human – because when Lilith died she was no longer an angel but she wasn’t fully a demon either and that particular magic unique to only her travelled with her when she reincarnated and then travelled unnoticed through her descendants and was magnified after MC made pacts with the 7 brothers and started sharing their powers). Satan latches on to that, stating MC’s not a demon so Lucifer should only be interested in him but that piques Lucifer’s interest more and he moves closer to MC because why would a demon protect someone else. MC tells Lucifer to let Satan go (and it’s said in a way where it’s implied it’s an order not an option and MC’s a little insane right?) Satan says there’s no point trying to get Lucifer to listen before he transforms into his demon form saying Lucifer never listens, to which Lucifer is silent (Y’all really need to talk after all this is over), before he says there’s no need for Satan to lose his temper and that Lucifer would let them go which obviously shocks Satan. Lucifer releases Satan who asks what Lucifer’s new plot is. Lucifer’s like “wow you have zero trust in me” and Satan’s like “bitch, I have negative trust in you”. Lucifer says there’s no plots and Satan says he’s lying. Lucifer says that the old him would have drop kicked a demon on site and wouldn’t have released them just so they could talk. And what does Lucifer want to talk about? His new demon boo <3 ugh sorry “acquaintance”. He says he never would have imagined he’d have a demon as an acquaintance but here we are. Lucifer says he’s strange, that he doesn’t act like a demon and that the more they talk the less he understands him but that he likes talking to him and there’s a certain feeling he gets from talking to Diavolo similar to the one he gets when talking to Satan (familiarity? Belonging? Kinship? Affection?) and I can’t believe we went from Lucifer complaining about his co-workers to him asking advice about what sounds like his first crush. Lucifer says he also wants to know more about Satan and that he only used the book to make sure he actually was a demon and he asks Satan to forgive him, Satan is silent and contemplative. Lucifer says he’s answered Satan’s questions and isn’t there something that Satan should say to him, more specifically, “thank you for releasing me”. Satan mumbles under his breath “holy shit I can’t believe you made me believe you were nice! You’re as nasty as ever” but still flushes red and says thanks. Lucifer’s pleased by it and says that for his good manners he won’t report anything to Michael but in return they have to follow him again.

Lucifer leads them back to a rooftop? where the brothers are. Mammon says Lucifer’s late and that Beel ate the food they’d left aside for him, while Belphie complains about how after Lucifer told all of them not to be late he was. Lucifer smiles and tells Belphie to not get mad about it in exchange for Lucifer ignoring that Belphie slept on the job. Belphie says that’s playing dirty. Asmo & Levi say that considering all the work Lucifer has these days they shouldn’t be mad at him, they then ask why Satan left and that they were worried about him & MC. Belphie asks since when were they friends with Lucifer, A red faced Satan says they’re not. Beel happily points out that Satan’s face is progressively turning more red and Satan says that all the eggs Beel ate contained reddite and it was fucking up his eyesight and this exactly the sort of BS I’d say to my brother to get him off my back the om! Team writes sibling relationships so well???? Beel questions about reddite and Satan just goes balls deep with the lie, creating a new disorder, explaining how it works and what the permanent effects are to which Beel immediately starts panicking until Belphie says Satan’s just being a lil’ shit. Simeon congratulates MC on their therapy skills but MC says it’s Lucifer who did everything. Simeon says Lucifer shouldn’t get all the credit (because yeah honestly sometimes just having someone to sit with you and hold your hand even if you don’t talk goes a long way when you’re having a bad time). Mammon asks Lucifer why he called them all here. Lucifer uses magic and suddenly the sky daylit sky outside is replaced by the stars and moon and night sky. Lucifer says Michael made Raphael remodel the room (so they’re in the observatory?) to show the human sky as well and Lucifer wanted to check it out before Michael had the chance. All the brothers are in awe. MC asks if Michael will be pissed that Lucifer checked out what is clearly his room first and Lucifer says he doesn’t give a flying fuck about it. Belphie’s thrilled and asks if anyone knows any stories about the constellations, Satan says he knows about every single one. Asmo asks him to tell them and he starts pointing out stars first the three stars forming the triangle of Betelgeuse, then Cator and Pollux – gemini - who are incredibly close and are like peas in a pod which the twins instantly claim as their own, and then orion. Simeon is happy that Satan looks so happy.

Mc is later woken up by Satan, with the others already asleep around the room, he says the stupid faces they make when they sleep hasn’t changed over the years. MC notes that Simeon and Lucifer are missing and asks about it. He says he has no idea and that they must have gone off together, he then asks them to keep quiet about what they saw here when they got back home. MC’s not on board with that and says there’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Satan blushes says he’s not but that the brothers will tease him but in the end he’s happy they came here. He thanks MC and they say they’re just happy seeing him being so happy and he calls them mean for teasing him, the twins start moving around in bed and end up in weird positions – Satan fondly complains about that never changing and how they wouldn’t survive without him and goes to straighten them out. MC goes to find Lucifer and Simeon. They then eavesdrop on them talking in the forest. Lucifer says that Simeon looks really good as a human and Simeon says coming from Lucifer that’s a grand compliment. He then says he knows that none of this is real but that he’s truly happy he got to see Lucifer like this one more time. Lucifer asks what he’s talking about considering Simeon sees him so much every day that Lucifer figures Simeon would be sick of him and that nothing is going to change. “This is who we are. And who we’ll be forever” (and this whole thing is so fucking bittersweet and I forget that Simeon lost all his closest friends in the Celestial Realm in one fell sweep and then went through whatever unknown events got him demoted). Simeon looks sad for just a moment before he smiles and says, “Forever, huh…That’s such a wonderful word, but so very fragile.” (actual tears rn). Simeon says he knows Lucifer’s met Diavolo by now and that he’s felt lingering doubt crawl into his heart so when Lucifer says forever even he himself is not sure if he means it (this also explains one of the reasons why Simeon isn’t Diavolo’s biggest fan because while leaving was definitely the brothers’ decision he probably unconsciously or lowkey resents Diavolo for putting the thought into Lucifer’s head and showing him that leaving was an available option) Lucifer stutters and doesn’t know what to say to that. (Okay so ik that some of y’all see the “brothers no more” chat name and see Lucifer and Simeon brothers but I’ve always considered that to mean “brothers in arms”? Not actual siblings? One, because Lucifer would never have left one of his siblings behind, no matter how much they kicked and screamed and refused to leave he would have dragged them down to the Devildom with him. Two, Lucifer treats Simeon as an equal something he doesn’t do to his brothers. With his brothers he’s overprotective and condescending, controlling and overbearing. He’s basically helicopter-parenting and you can clearly see that he doesn’t treat them as equals unlike the way he treats Simeon. Third there’s a clear distance between Simeon and the brothers. I mean they’re all really close but the brothers don’t treat Simeon the same way they treat each other or even the way they treat Lucifer – there always seems to be an underlying layer of respect. I mean sure they respect Lucifer and each other (hard as it may be to see) but they can also call Lucifer and each other ‘dickheads’ to the face something I don’t see them doing with Simeon. The brothers’ relationship with Simeon, I see in the same way I’d treat the composed sweet close friend of a sibling who is much much much older than me. So yeah I see Simeon as being Lucifer’s childhood friend, where they grew up in each other’s pockets, went to war together and fought alongside each other and ended up working in the same place in similar positions).

MC wakes up to someone shaking them and calling their name (you can choose it to be either Luke or Mammon. Because I’m a sim: ) Mammon gives a short relieved laugh when they wake up, asking them what they’re doing sleeping in the middle of the forest and how no matter how much he shook them they didn’t wake up and how he was worried. Satan says they’re back in the real world and Mammon asks them wtf they’re talking about saying he doesn’t remember anything, MC asks where they were and says they were worried. Neither Luke nor Mammon remember anything and didn’t even remember disappearing, saying they walked in the HoL and the next minute they were back to standing in the forest. Mammon and Luke have a brief argument about how they might have actually been in danger and the word chihuahua is thrown and protested to until Mammon remembers and asks what the other two are doing here and MC explains how and why they came here. Luke says okay “but when you say you tripped balls and had a shared hallucination what exactly do you mean…” Satan shuts that down quickly. Luke asks what even happened. Simeon hands him a pamphlet where the whole section about the HoL is gone, in its place is a passage about rumours of fairies who lure people and tease and torment them. Satan says it’s a miracle they made it out alive. Simeon says it’s because of the hawthorn berry powder Satan is covered in because fairies are very fond of hawthorn berries and as a thank you to Satan for bringing it to them they showed him something he’d always wanted to experience. This line makes Mammon & Luke even more curious and Satan threatens Simeon not to say a word but he forgot MC’s a shithead so they begin, “So we found ourselves in the Celestial Realm –“ before Satan cuts them off, telling them to shut up and threatening them with him going to Lucifer and telling him a whole list of bad things Mammon did whether they’re true or not and azkcjbscjwzx I can’t believe Satan just called MC a simp like that right to their face in front of everyone what the fuuuuuuck!????? Mammon oblivious loveable idiot that he is doesn’t understand why he’s being threatened. Simeon reminds them of why they even came out here and MC remembers the fairies/fairy rings, Mammon laments not been able to get their treasure and Luke calls him evil for wanting to steal it. Mammon says treasure or fairy rings it’s still the same but Luke vehemently protests against that. Mammon does note that despite running into fairies there doesn’t seem to be any fairy rings around and Simeon says they may have to give up for now, Satan agrees saying after all the emotional upheaval he’s exhausted. Both Luke and Mammon are really disappointed. (So about the vision/hallucination/reality they saw it reminded me of that thing Dumbledore said in the last Harry Potter book when they were in Kings Cross station. Something about how just because it’s a dream doesn’t mean it’s not real.)

Back in the train station Mammon and Luke are still sulking and MC says at least they had fun together, mammon agrees minus the part at the end that turned into a scene from a horror movie. Satan asks Simeon why he’s smirking, Simeon says he’s remembering how adorable Satan had looked while he was teaching his brothers the constellations for the first time and how he wished real Lucifer was there to see it. Satan demands that none of this goes back to Lucifer. Simeon laughs evilly and MC says Lucifer would be so happy if he knew and Satan – red-faced – says that’s exactly why he doesn’t want Lucifer to know and sighs about how satan still can’t admit to how much he loves Lucifer. Simeon says that it’s a special opportunity considering this particular group don’t get to travel together that often but Mammon still sulks until he’s back on the train and fawning over how good the food is. Luke calls mammon a simpleton for how easily his moods flip-flop (hey???? I take offense to that) and mammon snaps back at him, Luke says since Mammon’s always talking about him like he’s a dog he doesn’t get to complain and Simeon laughs about how close they seem, Satan’s confused by Simeon’s definition of close and MC says you tend to fight more with people you’re closer to (which yeah it’s true for me at least. I’d always argue with someone I’m close to vs someone I just know and they’re never serious arguments either just stupid shit that you can trade friendly-rude barbs over). Luke says he’d never be close with a demon like Mammon and Mammon says for such a small kid Luke’s got a big mouth, Luke bites back and they continue. Simeon tells MC if they thought they could get rest on the train back they’re greatly mistaken cause Simeon was only able to book 4 rooms so two of them will have to share and that immediately stops Luke & Mammon’s argument. MC feels all of their eyes boring into them before they all start volunteering to share a room with MC. Luke suggests they draw straws or play rock-paper-scissors to decide, Mammon suggests cards but Satan says that he can see in Mammon’s eyes that he plans on cheating and an argument breaks out making the others on the train turn to stare at them and this time MC genuinely seems to consider jumping off a moving train instead they command the demons to stay. Simeon says that never stops being funny and Luke says it actually looks painful and ik MC only uses it when things are getting out of hand and they aren’t listening to reason and are causing a scene that can lead to a (usually) public brawl but the command to stay still feels icky to me.

In the corridor MC finds a silent sad looking Simeon and asks him what’s wrong. Simeon tries to deflect it, gets oddly scatter brained about where he put down his tea, says that even though rock-paper-scissors was a fair was to decide he’s disappointed but the look on Mammon & Luke’s faces when they found out they would be sharing was worth it. MC picking up on how all over the place he seems asks if something is bothering him. He says not really but sort of? He says Satan wasn’t the only one impacted by the whole Celestial Realm fever dream and that seeing the brothers as angels again brought back happy memories until he remembered that they aren’t there anymore and that the Celestial Realm is different now which made him depressed. MC hugs them and Simeon says they’re warm and smell comforting before he thanks them he then blushes and says he would like to kiss them and MC gets the chance to either tell him to go ahead or to gently say “No, Simeon…” he understands that there’s someone else and that whoever that is he’s very lucky. He then gives them the star of patience and tells them they’re gonna be an amazing sorcerer. Simeon says he wished he could’ve had MC as a guardian angel and MC goes “wait…do angels even have guardian angels!?” and Simeon says …no. He then wishes them goodnight.

On the way to bed MC hears voices from the roof and goes to check it out only to find the other 3. The three of them are arguing about constellations. Mammon points out Scorpius correctly and calls Orphiuchus next to it the scorpion bearer, Luke says it’s the goat bearer, Mammon says “what even is the difference between scorpions and goats, Satan says they’re both wrong and MC says it’s the serpent bearer. They pull MC down beside them and Luke says Satan was telling them about the seven sisters and asks if they know what it’s called. MC gets to answer. Mammon asks if there’s a seven brother’s constellation and Luke says there is one in the Celestial Realm, with everyone knowing about the legend behind the constellation being about the brothers’ fall. Mammon asks what they’re like and Luke says they’re seven bright stars with three others watching over them. Luke says he doesn’t know what the three stars are supposed to represent and Mammon suggests it might be Michael, Luke says that’d be weird cause Michael only has two eyes so what’s the third one, Mammon suggests it could be like Michael’s nostril or something and I’m in genuine tears over this, my chest hurts from how much I laughed, Luke says that’s stupid and MC who is actually just as stupid as Mammon but who is also much better at hiding it suggest two eyes and a mouth, Luke goes “…heeeeh?” finally realising one of his role models is a dumbass before he starts protesting asking why the two of them are so fixated on it being two eyes, Satan suggests that they might represent demons, angels and humans and luke says that feels right (personally I think they’re Michael, Raphael and Simeon) Mammon suggests the human star would be MC and Satan agrees. (okay so I think the seven brothers stars are completely BS. Why? Because Michael and the angels had no idea Satan existed. Hell even Lucifer didn’t know until Satan was born after they fell. Michael would have had no relationship with Satan, hell they’ve never even met, for him to be sentimental and it makes no sense that a place Satan has never really been to would have a star for him. They would have a star for Lilith though. That makes sense. But the story of Lilith’s death and probably even her existence seems to be very securely hidden away considering even Luke who’s so close with Michael doesn’t seem to know why the brothers fell. The angels wouldn’t have named stars after the brothers immediately after their fall and it would have taken time for them all to heal, reach a place of forgiveness and start to grieve and miss what they’d lost. So I bet by this time, the news that there was a seventh brother had come up and the angels in the know jumped at the chance to use him as a cover story for the seventh star rather than admit a girl was killed over falling in love and then using her powers to heal a human. So yeah. The seven brothers stars feel like utter BS. Seven siblings on the other hand…). Mammon tells Luke to hurry up and get on with it and Luke gives MC the star of generosity. Luke thanks them for everything, saying that though they didn’t find a fairy ring he had fun and made good memories, he then thanks them for always being there for them all.

#obey me spoilers #my posts #my theories #obey me!#obey me #swd obey me #shall we date? obey me!#obey me shall we date

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theangryjikooker · 2 years

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As I've built very deep and close relationships with the people I live with rn (who are not my family, just my roommates) I've come to the realisation that the things I used to think were 'sus' about jikook could really be explained as having a really close friendship. Ofc, not everything can, there are still things that don't quite fall into the category of purely platonic. Idk if other people would do this, but I recently just travelled for an entire day from my home country to the country I study in so I could make it back to my friend in time for her birthday. We just had a quiet birthday, I bought her cake, we sang a few songs, had a drink. There are no romantic undertones in our relationship. Its very similar to what jimin did for jungkook's birthday. Idk, maybe I just saw everything that they did for eachnother as romantic because I couldn't fathom that friends could do the same for you until I made some myself. I would do anything for my best friends rn. I dont think romance is a necessary prerequisite for those actions anymore.

(To make it very clear, I'm not trying to diminish their relationship, just sharing how my perspectives have changed)

(I asked the same question to another account as well, I hope you don't mind, I just wanted to get more perspectives.)

Hi, anon.

So this is a good example of what I mean when I’m constantly saying that how and who people ship is shaped by our own experiences and perceptions of what makes a (romantic) relationship. It’s why there are people who ship Jikook and others ship Taekook, where each side thinks the other ship is only platonic.

Like you, anon, flying around the world for a friend isn’t a big deal to me. I’ve alluded to this in the past but full disclosure, the money I make far exceeds my needs and allows me to do things the average person probably can’t without actively saving for something. This, in turn, allows me to do things for everyone I care about in my life with little regard to how it can come across from an outsider’s POV. Several years ago, a friend once mentioned offhand how much she loved giraffes, so I flew her and her parents out to Africa as a present and reserved a stay at the Giraffe Manor for them.

Had she been a guy, it would’ve been easier for a lot of people to interpret my actions as less than friendly. But to me, that’s like a dinner and a birthday cake.

Of course I’m not trying to label Jimin’s gesture for Jungkook as platonic; his intentions are his and Jungkook’s alone to know, but I personally tend to have very muted reactions to perceived grand gestures based on my own experiences.

But again, it’s also good to remember that such things are an individualistic experience. You and I might not think flying around the world for a friend is ripe with romantic connotations, but Jimin doing that for Jungkook might have more subtext based on their own feelings. We can all speculate his actions, but none of us will ever actually know.

This isn’t really a secret here by now, but I perceive a lot of Jikook’s interactions to be pretty normal, except it’s punctuated enough by moments of “what the fuck” to convince me that it isn’t quite so black and white.

#TAJ asks #anon submission #jikook #kookmin

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alonelysimp · 3 years

Text

General Dating HCs

Characters: Albedo, Childe x GN!Reader (separately)

WC: 913

Warnings: none

Tags: fluff, established relationship (?), no beta we die like hilichurls

Albedo

He loses track of time. A lot. He never actually forgets important dates, he just loses all perception of time and they come a lot faster than he thinks (keeping track is like 3x harder when you have a shitty sleep schedule). He forms a habit of checking the date every morning and making sure nothing was going on that day or in the few days coming.

Loves listening to you talk. The sound of your voice is so beautiful, he couldn’t care less about what you’re talking about but bet your ass he’s paying attention to every word you’re saying. If he’s busy, he’ll either stop what he’s doing or ask you to wait for a few seconds so he can put whatever down.

If he’s having to put a lot of effort into his work, like more than usual, he becomes really stressed. Even though he doesn’t show it, he’s this close to breaking every second. Late nights at his desk, probably ends up sleeping there more nights than not. When he has time for a break, he might as well be attached to you. If you had to run errands to do commissions he’d come with you. He’s too tired to talk a lot but he loves your company, it’s really energizing for him.

He’d probably use one pet name instead of your name and maybe have one or two others to use for more special occasions?? Yk?? Like if he wants to be extra sweet to you. He calls you his little blossom. Don’t @ me you know I’m right.

OH ALSO HE’D START CALLING YOU LIKE NERDY VERSIONS OF SAPPY PET NAMES LIKE “C6H12O6” OR “MY LITTLE FETUS” AND AT SOME POINT HE STARTS SAYING IT UNIRONICALLY IM SORRY

The first time he cooked for you, he wouldn’t tell you what it was. He also had you blind taste it. When I tell you it was amazing, this man can cook SO GOOD. Jokes on you that was a roasted irminsul spider. You didn’t let him cook again for a year.

He loves it when you back hug him while he’s working. Please wrap your arms around his waist and rest against his back. It does wonders for his motivation and concentration.

He lowkey teases the shit out of you and pretends to be oblivious. He knows exactly what he’s doing. This little shit—

Bad at verbally expressing affection. So so so so very bad. Prefers to hug/cuddle or talk to you. If you’re not really up for it he’s perfectly happy being in the same room while yall are doing your own little things. As long as he gets to be near you.

He’ll take your relationship slowly, might say “i love you” after maybe 6 to 8 months?

Childe

He feels really bad going on long trips doing fatui things, especially if you’re clingier than usual right after he gets back. No matter how much you pester him, you aren’t coming with him. As much as he misses you, it’ll put you in too much danger. He always picks up at least a few souvenirs for you and sends a letter back every few weeks.

Even though he loves to listen to you ramble, he prefers to be actively involved in conversations. I am so sorry if you’re more quiet and soft spoken (like me!!) because you are getting talked over. He bashes himself (when he realizes) but there’s no way he’s remembering to shut up.

Being a harbinger is a demanding position, both physically and mentally. The Tsaritsa asks a lot of him, and he must pull through whether or not he’s capable of it. During these times he’s much more irritable and will snap at you but apologizes soon after. The best thing you can do for him is to be there for him, to ground him and reassure him he’s doing a good job.

He probably has a variety of nicknames for you, but there’s an obvious few he favourites. Probably really into those sappy pet names.

Melodramatic asf.

Probably has the most spontaneous dates, he’d show up at your front door and take you somewhere completely out of the blue

Surprisingly good at cooking, but has one specific dish he can’t cook no matter how hard he tries. Bonus points if it’s something super simple and you have to teach him how.

Also can't bake for shit. Like at all. It annoys him sm

He breaks in. A lot. Picks your locks, barges in through the windows, no matter what you do this little shit is getting in. It becomes a competition to see if you can keep him out (but you always lose). At some point you’re jaded at the sight of him sitting on your couch and it just becomes a normal occurrence to hear him start talking to you from the other room as if he had been there all afternoon. While you’re out of the house, he’ll come and make food for you and leave before you get home.

He loves it when you banter with him. He teases you in public? Tease him back. He adores it. Other than Diluc, he’s the easiest to fluster. When you sit next to him he likes it when you link pinkies under the table.

Takes saying “i love you” very seriously, won’t say it until he’s sure you’re the one/decides he’s gonna introduce you to his family

ohmygod thank yall for 28 follows even tho my posting schedule is 100% nonexistant ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

im working on a few drafts rn but the semester is ending soon and i have a lot of missed assignments </3

#genshin impact #albedo #childe #genshin #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #tartaglia x reader #childe x reader #albedo x reader #gn!reader

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somebody-in-this-world-who-lives · 3 years

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Teen girls liking M|M and why I support it

Acctually, lets stop with the "Teen girls are fetishising m|m" bullshit.

You will defend the crap out of a 17 year old guy because he is "just a kid" if he did something wrong but will not stop talking shit about an eleven year old watching yaoi anime.

"Oh but they are straight and cis and..." *You* don't know that! Thats a developing human trying different interests. Have you ever thought they didn't have any other experience with non straight romance before and thats why it's not 100% down-to-earth when they try to write it? Because, by your own definition, they are kids? Kids who are trying their best to be supportive and learn while creating spaces where they can enjoy thenselves without the media and the people around them putting them down. Straight romance treatment of girl characters is exausting so offen, can you blame them for wanting to escape it? Sometimes it's shit when none of the characters you are supposed to project into in love stories look or act like you, so longing for something that doesn't even resemble you can be good.

No one bats an eye when "unrealistic" romance media is made to teen girls if it's straight. No one cares if so much of this genre is about putting their viewers down. No one even cares about boys watching animes with girl characters that are just boobs, they are kids, they can learn. So what is the dang problem? That they are excited about it? Having a place where they feel liberated to gush about relationships that thankfully don't involve them and being able to put that distance between them and media?

And I'll say more. "Fetishising" is a sexual word. When someone says grown man fetishize lesbians is because they get of on it. It's all over p*rn sites and a lot of people have been harassed over it. A pre-pubescent girl saying 'OwO hot, they are cute' to a scene on a fanfic is not the same thing?? The few cases of couples being bothered by little girls I've seen online are weird, and mostly frowned upon by other girls with similar interests. You can't belittle a whole group because of it. They are young. Some people will accidentally go to far. It's normal.

I'm not cis nor straight, but I've not always known that. And I started watching BL because anime girls annoyed me but I'm such a big romance fan. That, and being in fandon, was my introduction to the idea that people aren't always straight, and I own so much of my journey on being on these accepting communities. Even If they weren't always 'accurete to the experience', too idealized or if we don't use the same terms anymore, to them being gay wasnt shameful or hatefull, It was good! Gay people were the heroes of these stories and were allowed to fall in love and be different in stories that were funny and cute. Maybe some stereotypes were prevalent, but I much more prefer what a well intentined 15 year old wrote with maybe a lack of research to what was on mainstream at that time. BL was unlike gay media of when I was youger because even kids could watch it.

And you know what? I did. I felt awful coming on this site and being accused of harming people that I wanted to support, but looking back, I don't regret it, because at least I'm here. And even considering some of the people I saw were straight, they were on my side, and that is more than some of us can ask.

It's ok to want your allies to treat you the way you want to be treated and It frustrates you if you feel like you are being idealized, but kids aren't perfect activists and groups aren't monolithic. Don't make serious accusations just to make people who most likely care feel bad.

#fujocourse #anti fujo discorse #discorse #queer discussions #fetishization #Its ok if you don't agree with me #but please try seeing where I'm coming from #Some of the stuff I watched and read really wasnt perfect #but its still really important to me and I hate to see how people who like it are dismissed so simply #I can't afford to turn down any support of my identity where I live #some people are misinformed but have their heart on the right place #and yeah this type of media was a big confort and still is for me and a lot of people #I really needed it when I was a kid being raised as a girl #ask to tag #I struggled a lot with the english here so it may have a lot of mistakes #Not going to appologise for that

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phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess · 3 years

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What is your opinion on straight passing privilege? I (bi) don’t think it exists, but a close (lesbian) friend of mine insists that it does bc “You can hold hands with your SO (nb cis passing man) in public without risking being the victim of a hate crime.” I have been researching but keep seeing this same argument coming up, and I’m unsure and don’t want to be making anyone upset if I’m being ignorant here.

I think that there's a lot of fucked up internet politics around who is and isn't allowed in the community. Which is ridiculous.

Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Pan, Poly, Ace, Aro, Trans, Intersex, etc.

The only people who shouldn't be in the community are cishets, and pedos, none of that 'it's a sexuality' nonsense, it's predation.

The concept of straight-passing is ridiculous, primarily because it's all based on assumptions. If you're in an m/f relationship, and you are both cis and heterosexual, it's straight.

But here's the catch, if you identify as any LGBPT+ then it's not straight.

Two trans people in an m/f relationship is not straight passing.

Two bi people in an m/f is not straight passing, it's queer babes, it's in the name. If you're bi and your partner is like, straight, it's still queer from your side of the fence.

It's the 'pick a side' argument from another direction, this straight passing nonsense. Where you are villified by the straights if you have a same-sex relationship (or fetishised, let's be real, every part of the acronymn has it's own p*rn category aimed at straight people with a kink), and if you have a relationship with the opposite gendered person, the queer community gets cranky.

Two things:

1) Is this friend between 13 and 25? Bc they could still be working this out or being mentored by t*rfs, or had some bad info. IT could be jealousy or fear of being open where you live. Perhaps you could question what makes her say that; has she had a bad experience, or did someone say this to her. where are you Are you in america? are there snake wielding jesus warriors near you? Blink SOS if you need an escape route, child

2) Who wins when everyone in the queer community is divided and policing one another? Telling everyone off for dating this person or that person or not at all

I didn't get an invite to the big queer conference to make these decisions, so like, they're not valid. It's some pocket of internet active idiots who think they can speak for everyone.

What we need to do is stop pulling this bullshit on one another and get back to asking just why the fuck it's not okay for people who are perceived as not-straight or cis etc to hold hands in public.

There's a problem for every facet of the acronym, babes and dudes and theys. Lesbians are heavily sexualised by straight cis dudes. Gays are heavly fetisihed by straight cis women. to the point where even saying 'I'm gay' is considered to be an obscene, sexual act that you should not let children be exposed to.

And there's always someone from the opposite gender who thinks they 'are confused' or 'haven't met the right (gender) person yet', or 'they could fix them with their magic genitals' or mumbled religious nonsense. There's such intense stereotypes that people can't stand women who look butch, but also you can't 'really' be a lesbian unless you are' or gay men can't just be, like, a normal dude, instead of some flamboyant in-your-face charicature.

Of course people who match the stereotype exist, too. And they get no respect for fitting into the stereptypes either, it's just another reason for disrespect. There's no winning.

Bi's can't talk to anyone without hearing a question of a threesome come up or being attacked from either side for coice of partner.

Pans, same, but also kitchenware jokes. Both Bi and Pan are considered sluts and whores and can't decide or are going to cheat, etc. Or the 'you're being special snowflakes', 'choose a side', 'you're secretly gay and won't admit / you're secretly straight and want attention' etc.

Ace/Aro - everyone under this banner gets the whole 'you just haen't found the right person' or 'when you're older/you're a late bloomer' or 'how do you know?' or 'maybe you're straight/gay and haven't worked it out yet?' invalidating them completely and trying to push sex onto them. The queer community has always let Ace and Aro in under the Bi banner, and they are welcome. But the internet community, usually young people, are tearing each other to shreds over it lmao.

Chill.

Non-binary, trans, intersex. They have been here for ages, but people from one community try to destroy their credibility, despite them existing since humanity has. It's big on p*rn and fetish sites too, lot of straight dudes think these things are hot and sexy, but would spit on trans people in the street. Hypocrites (I mean, every second low-brow comedy movie out there makes a thai-l*dyb*y joke, and how it 'doesn't count' like yikes).

Nb has only just been recognised, which is funny bc society literally made up gender and the rules and pretended that was how its encoded in DNA lmao.

Transpeople have it bad though. Between the cis straights, the cis queer community (primarily t*rfs and those who fall for misinformation) and the fetishists, and the medical community who treats them like an illness rather than people. Like, they are afforded respect if they 'pass', but even then it's still an EW factor.

Transwomen are seen as 'men in dresses who want to break into women's spaces' and treated horrifically; assaults are very high. Transmen are seen as butch women, and 'gender tr*itors' by the Crazy Motherfuckers we mentioned before; their assaults are high. They're not considered Real People unless they meet the ridiculously high standards for each gender; unless they perform Right.

I remember, but did not understand at the time bc I recall i was little, that there was a gameshpw bachelorette style and there was a big twist. You know what the twist was? That the bachelorette they'd been dating and trying to win over... was trans. I don't think that she knew it would be the big twist, either; of the two men remaining, bother were angry and one might have been sick. Might be on youtube.

But like, that's funny to the non-queer community. They put a huge fucking target on this woman's back, put her in danger of being hurt, abused, killed, by anyone who watched it. By the men who she had 'lied to' as they chose to frame it, of their weird white american families who could have sought revenge. Like yikes.

And intersex people (called h*rmaphrodites for a long time even by medical personnel) were also a p*rn category and/or medical curiosity for centuries. Not to mention all the cases of parents who just went with 'make them a (specific gender)' if there was mixed presentation, at birth, and got mad at the kids for being like "Hey so, you flipped the coin wrong and I'm ___" even thought the potential for this was always on the cards.

And the parents often make a big messa bout how their baby ___ is dead and gone, even if they DO accept the person/child as who they really are. It's like, I get it they have changed but you didn't mourn their first haircut or lost baby tooth like this and that was change too, chill.

Straight-passing is a projection and a weapon. Like, is it the people in the relationship's fault that society looks at the pair and decides they are m/f, straight and cis? Nah, it's what people are conditioned assume and that's on them.

We can't bring it into the queer spaces and keep perpetuating that shit, because it's nonsense. Queer people are dying in other countries and your friend wants to being smart-assed about the fact you hold hands with your nb datemate in public?

Nonsense. That's right up there with t*rfs and the gold-star bullshit that was going on for a few years there. Probs still is among the younger people lmaoooo.

'Passing priviledge' is a myth, and it is used to hurt people. Vulnerable people and those who need support / guidance and assistance from their queer communities more than ever. So try to talk to your friend or try The Whole Friend disposal services, either way, chill.

The real issue here is that any of us are at risk of a hate crime for daring to even show affection in public. That even in safe spaces, 'allies' and those wise enough not to be openly homo/trans/bi/pan/ace/aro/other phobic are still side-eyeing you and wanting to talk 'for you' without listening to the community itself.

We have bigger issues than this, and your friend (and some others on the internet) need to get a grip and prioritise.

[Insert strained analogy about being pro-child but childfree in a suburb where everyone got married out of high school and anticipates you and your partner will too, no matter how often you remind them No Thanks. But you babysat the other day and people thought you and your partner looked like 'naturals' when you took child to the park and played with them. And you remind them, hey, chill, we like kids too but it's not for us. And they get pissy and pushy.]

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I can only point it out from my perspective, I'm certain there other queer people from the above acronymn community who can present their thoughts on the matter to and what it means to them.

Thanks for the question, good-bi.

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