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finelinevogue · 3 years

Note

Can you write something about when Harry and Y/N broke up but fans speculate that they got back together and they did get back together. They broke over something stupid, please. You don’t have to do this exactly it can be something like that.

let’s see how this turns out! hope it’s what you wished for?!

The last few months had been rough.

What had started as rumours of a breakup between everyones favourite couple, you and Harry, had turned into an actual breakup.

It had started by Harry spending more time with Olivia, due to press for Don’t Worry Darling. They were always hanging out with each other, even when there was no publicity stunt telling them to. You found it appropriate at first, wanting the movie to gain some form of reputation, but after a while you believed it turned South. It was becoming a definite friendship and not just because they had to. It was the way that Harry would bring Olivia over for dinner without checking with you first, or taking the dog for a walk with her not you, or even staying longer out on stunts than they needed to just because they wanted to.

So you challenged Harry on it. Hell, even the tabloids were challenging you both - claiming Harry had split from you for Olivia. You made him question whether he thought his actions were irresponsible and appropriate or not, to which he thought there was nothing wrong and thought you were being irrational. You didn’t speak to him for the rest of the day, only to find him later on the phone speaking to Olivia about how crazy you’d been acting about it all. So you showed him crazy and walked out.

Until today.

For over a half a year your sister had her wedding planned and Harry was supposed to be your guest. You were nervous about turning up without him, because your family were very judgy. Your sister couldnt help being the smarter and the prettier one, but she also didn’t have to parade it around so everyone knew of it. Your mum and dad thought you a disappointment for the longest time, but once you’d gotten a job and had moved out they were a bit more loving over you. Still didn’t hide the fact they desperately hoped for you to have a relationship. It wasn’t that you were bringing Harry along to prove that someone loved you, but more to prove that they would never fully be satisfied whether you had a boyfriend or not. There would always be a podium stand slightly lower for you to stand on.

However, they didn’t know about the breakup.

“Y/N, nice to see you. Where’s Harry?” Another guest asked you, relatives of your mum. It was the same question over and over again, no one really caring about how you are but instead whether you’re in a positive relationship.

“Oh um I think he’s just running a bit late.” Was your chosen answer to respond to said question. It was repetitive, but it kept people off your back.

The wedding was completely beautiful. It was in a beautiful church and was decorated to perfection. The theme was white and royal blue, something your sister had always dreamed of. Children played amongst the pews and family relatives mumbled to each other about gossip. There was still a heavy sadness to the event. Maybe it was because your sister hadn’t asked you to be a bridesmaid - instead, choosing her best friends instead - or maybe it was because you missed Harry so much.

He’d fucked up. He really had, but it didn’t take away that burning passion for him that spread like a wildfire in your belly. You missed him. You still loved him. Worst of all, you had to pretend everything was all alright in front of your family when actually you were breaking apart inside.

Harry hadn’t messaged saying that he was or wasn’t coming, but after everything that had happened you were confident he was going to be a no show, and you would be the embarrassment of the family once again. Your relationship had been very private and exclusive, but Harry’s fans were so investigative you wouldn’t be surprised if they knew that you’d broken up and were aware that you were at a wedding today without him. Neither of you had made a public statement about your breakup, but neither of your wanted to damage each other even more. Fans suspected though and rumours travel fast.

“Y/N how are you doing? How’s Harry?” Another aunt came and asked you, this time with your mother in tow.

“Oh he’s great, yes.” You smiled forcefully, not actually having a clue how your ex-boyfriend was doing. You didn’t keep up with his social media because you were afraid of what you might find.

“Where is he? Is he here?” Your aunt asked.

“He’s late, apparently.” Your mother answered for you, sneeringly. “You’ll be made a fool of if he’s a no show Y/N.”

“I know.”

“I hope everything goes well for you both.” Your aunt kindly said, before waiting for your mum to say something nice too. That was a mistake though.

“Well it’s unlikely she’ll find someone again!” Your mother laughed and pulled your aunt away from you. You furrowed your eyebrows and let your heart sink low.

What were you thinking, letting Harry go like that? Your mum was right, you were never going to find anyone else again. You were so lucky with Harry. He was so kind and so patient with you, but obviously he’d run out of steam towards the end. It doesn’t surprise you. You’ve always been told you’re a mighty handful and you need a lot of work put into looking after you, so you understand why you were probably too much for Harry. The showbiz life had never really been something you’d completely submerged yourself into, whereas you guess for Olivia it was rooted in her from birth. She understood Harry’s world the same way he did hers. They would match perfectly for each other, if that’s what they wanted.

You watched the room continue as usual, but you couldn’t keep yourself here. There was too much sadness welling deep within you that you wanted to just run and then keep running. So you did, only to get as far as the bench in the front courtyard. The outside felt calmer and more freeing than inside, you sat and absorbed it for a while, not realising that you were crying until your pretty multicoloured dress had grown darker with a pool of your tears.

“Shit.” You tried rubbing the tears out, but only made you cry a little harder. You thought about your makeup running and tried to compose yourself, fanning your face to calm it down from the heat now.

“And here I was thinking weddings were supposed to be happy.”

You stopped fanning your face to look at him. You couldn’t believe he was standing there, dressed in a beautiful white suit and salmon pink shirt underneath to compliment the colours of your dress - the outfit that you’d helped him pick out over a year ago. He’d remembered. He trusted that you’d still be wearing this dress. He was a sight alright. A vision of beauty and love.

“Harry?” You questioned, wiping your under eyes to clear away any running mascara, not quite believing he was standing there.

“So what was it? Bad music playing? No vodka? Or maybe there’s nowhere for you to escape to go read the book I know you have stuffed away in your clutch bag.” He stood at a distance from you, hands in his trouser pockets, to make sure you were comfortable.

“I brought vodka instead of the book.” You chuckled, reaching into your clutch to prove it to him.

“Lucky for you, i’ve come to save the day.” Harry reached to the inside of his blazer pocket and pulled out a Kindle. You’d always been debating whether or not to buy one, because the feeling of having a book to turn its’ physical pages is a feeling second to none. “Take it, it’s yours.”

Harry handed it out to you and you stood up to reach for it hesitantly. Harry assured you that it was okay and that you’d been reading too many books if you thought it was a trap of some sort.

“Thank you, Harry.” You spoke sincerely. You stroked your thumb over the cover and turned the case lid over to start up the screen. The screen lit up and it was set to a picture of your favourite quote, annotated just as you would have in your own book. You chuckled and let a few tears drop from the kindness of all of this.

“And then…” Harry unlocked the Kindle with your birthday as the password, before clicking on the library so you could discover what was waiting for you on your virtual shelves. Harry had downloaded all your most favourite books, whilst also downloading the ones he knew had been on your to-be-read list. He’d even added a few of his favourite books too, just because you liked reading his recommendations.

You smiled, but felt so lost.

“W-why are you here, H?” You asked, closing the lid and bravely looking up into his enchanting eyes. You had to control yourself not to comment on how wondrous they looked.

“To save the day.” He chuckled in repeat, until he knew you weren’t taking that for an answer. “Because I fucked up. Big league time.”

“Yeah.” You whispered, looking down at your shoes to see that they weren’t that far apart at all. He was so close to you, yet he wasn’t yours to catch.

“And i’ll never forgive myself for letting you walk out of that door. The promotion shit with Olivia? Done. I’ve finished. I explained that the movie isn’t as important to me as you. You,” Harry paused to breathe out, and took the risk of guiding your jaw up to meet your gaze with his soft hand, “you are real Y/N. You’re so important and key to my life and it bloody terrified me, still does actually, to think that you make me feel this way. I want everything with you. Marriage, kids, a home. A life. I was so worried I would screw it all up, though, to the point where I did screw it all up. I lost you and so I lost me. It’s selfish of me to ask whether any part of your heart still wants me, but—”

“Yes.” You quickly interjected before he could say something he’d later regret. “There is, yes.”

“R-really?” He stumbled over his response, not expecting you to react so soon but his words had got to you. His feelings were vulnerable and raw and it reminded you of how much you love him and feel safe with him.

“Why? Would you like me to say different.” You teased.

“No,” Harry rushed, stepping closer towards you, “God now. Stay, please. Forever, if you’ll have me?”

“I can deal with forever.” You leaned up to where his lips were, craving the taste of them against yours so badly. “Can I?” You looked between his lips and his eyes, watching his eyes coo in admiration of you. His arms snaked around your neck and cupped the back of your head, resting his ringed fingers against your skin delicately.

“You don’t have to ask, angel.” And with that you didn’t hesitate to reclaim your clips on his. He tasted as sweet and as soft as you could remember. The hint of mint sweets he kept in his car could be tasted all over his mouth, and he could no doubt taste the vodka on yours. He took no time in rushing to have his tongue exploring your mouth once mouth, biting on your lip when he got the chance to. He wanted you to remember this moment and how much love he has for you, and always will. Just as you do for him.

Hesitantly pulling away you smiled at him cheekily, feeling so much lighter and happier to have him here. With you in his arms so expertly.

“What?” He asked, leaving a quick kiss to your nose, inhaling his scent as he did.

“Just can’t believe you’re here.” You stroked his cheek with your thumb, and he leaned into your touch so comfortably. He had missed you so damn much, and it showed.

“Let you down once before and I wasn’t going to do it again.”

“So you’d have shown up even if I hadn’t?”

“Not happily, but yes.” He laughed thinking about it.

“Why?” You laughed with him.

“I’ve got to make my impression on your family somehow. Need to remind some of them how amazing and beautiful their special Y/N L/N is.”

“Some are going to need a lot more persuading than others.” You sighed, side-frowning over your words.

“No offence, but anyone who doesn’t treat you as a fucking diamond doesn’t deserve you and should watch out for kick up their backside from me.” You laughed over his empty threat and buried your head against his chest, listening to the heartbeat and rumble of laughter that came from within. This moment alone felt like home. Safe and warm.

“I love you, H.”

“Bloody love you too.”

Harry ended up returning to the wedding with you, much to your mothers surprise, and you both enjoyed the celebrations together. You shut yourselves out from everybody and just danced, talked and drank the night away.

You were so in love.

Later, photos got leaked of the wedding and it showed you and Harry dancing away in one of the backgrounds of the photos. It was supposed to be a shot of just the bride and groom, but you two have managed to get caught in it. You looked so caught up in each other that you still weren’t even aware the photo had been taken. You and Harry had determinedly avoided the camera all night, exactly for this reason, but a part of you was kind of happy that this one photo got leaked, because it showed the world that Harry was yours and you were his. It showed that you were together, or back-together as addressed by some FBI fans, and that you were stronger for it.

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stellaestra · 3 years

Text

how would stray kids interact with mc in high school if they ever met? // high school au headcanons [stray kids/reader]

pairing: skz hyung line + mc [reader]

description: who would mc interact with in high school if they ever met? what kind of interactions would they have? // bulletpoints headcanons + small snippets

genre: platonic, high school au, friendship, humour, hurt/comfort

author’s note: this could be a stand alone or not, the mc is the same bodyguard/intern au!mc...it's just a "what ifs" kinda thing, fellas

p.s. some of the scenarios are based off real life events that happened to me in high school but i overly exaggerated some of them for the shit and giggles,, tell me which event actually happened to me in the askbox lmao I'm curious

pls I'm funny i swear

cw: minor swearing, just teenagers being teenagers, idiots, mention of blood (?) uhh mentions of violence (??)

unedited

// no beta read, we’ll die like men

---

bang chan

mc is a '00 liner,

she doesn't interact with her seniors pt.1

to interact with them; it would have to be a school event or a collab project between the seniors and the juniors

possibly would be approached first by chan during sports day or a school festival for something

he thought that she's a pretty decent track runner when he saw sprint during the sports day track event

after that incident, chan would greet her in the hallways or wherever if he ever comes across her

mc would always awkwardly greet him back

“hey! you’re that really fast track runner, you did great that day!” chan complimented her in the hallways. out loud.

mc prays to whoever above there that chan would stop talking so loud as she could feel her face burn when she felt eyes on her.

cue to her awkwardly smiling at him and nodding, “yep, that’s me, yes, alright, senior chan.”

chan finds her adorable ever since that first few encounters

he also found out that she hangs out with felix just as much as he does

(love rivals (for felix) arc when)

he doesn’t know who to be envious of

that mc gets to spend so much time with lix or

felix being able to spend so much time with her

the never-ending saga

(love rivals (for felix) arc turned into possible rivals to friends arc)

(okay, im joking)

their respective friends group made a running joke

about how chan and mc are love rivals for felix

(it eventually became theirs as well)

(it's funny)

once he made her go off-tangent about felix

she was really passionate about his freckles and smile

for a moment

he really did think that she has a crush on him

no surprises there tho

felix IS absolutely cute

(friends arc?? omg, all for felix, HA)

he really really finds her adorable

he could go on for days

esp her little habit of covering her mouth when she speaks

sweater paws bc he almost always sees her with a jacket on even if it was a hot day

it's like a second skin on her

he once asked her if she ever removes her jacket

“only when im on school ground or during school events like assembly, i’ll take it off, senior chan.”

“eh? don’t you feel warm underneath that during a hot day?”

“...i do remove it sometimes, i guess...but i like wearing it bc it’s comforting.”

one time chan saw her without her jacket and wears short-sleeves uniform, he really wanted to shower her in his affections n also it’s such a rare sight that he almost couldnt recognized her

“haha hey, you didn’t wore your jacket today!”

“they’re in the laundry and...today’s a hot day...unfortunately, haah.”

he once tried to ruffle her hair but found her dodging his hand so fast at breakneck speed

that he was kinda concerned

she told him that her hair hasn't been washed yet so it's dirty

but the thing is: she told him every time he tried to ruffle her hair

“you’re not letting me pat your head on purpose.”

“senior chan, i wouldn’t do such a thing.” he noticed the little teasing smile before it disappeared.

he wondered briefly if she has always been this playful and cheeky with others her age

chan is aware that she speaks formally towards him out of habit though so he lets it slide and let her take her time growing comfortable with him.

he knew she was lying but let's her be anyway

bc she's his cute little junior

---

lee minho

another case of mc's "no seniors juniors interaction"

minho’s very attractive so mc will definitely avoid him at all cost

plus, he looks intimidating to her so bye bye

to not step on any of her classmates' landmines that has the hots for him

drama isn't her thing, she already witness a handful and even got thrown into the fire as fuel before

no thank you she liked having her life in high school as peaceful as possible

mc would make her conversations with him very short n blunt

she's not gonna catch anyone's hands today, my dudes

really, she doesn’t

minho thinks of her like a small kitten that needs to be taken care of

bc of how she always scutters away from chan whenever he’s with him

if they ever interact

it would be when the juniors have the collab with their seniors

like a science fair, where the students have to come up with things to showcase

his class coincidentally collabs with her class for that particular event

he told chan about it and he have never seen chan pout and deflate like that

the only person he does that to is felix...if not, it’s jeongin.

chan sure adores this little junior other than felix huh…

then again, felix and mc does hangout a lot and so does jisung and her

so he took this chance as to know more abt her

coughs because jisung seems to be talking a lot about her coughs

(minho + mc love rivals (for jisung) arc pt. 2 when)

(mc really about to fight 2 seniors because she's stealing their respective juniors huh)

(the never-ending saga of love rivals)

he approached her inside that shared classroom for the collab event

she looked constipated when he approached her group of friends

even more so when he directly asked for name and whatnot

it kinda made him want to tease her even more now

he found out her name and what they were planning to do

heard her cursing under her breath

he decided to join their group on the whim

found out that mc is just a little shy whenever he approached her

her friends are somewhat protective of her

he got glared at by one of them once when he wanted to greet mc in the hallways

and mc kind of hid half of herself behind them

so whenever she’s on her own, he would try to approach her as slowly as possible

like. dealing with a cat and you’re a stranger trying to gain their trust

what he never will forget nor stop teasing her was about

her spinning on her heels to walk into the direction she was previously coming from

just to avoid him

he couldn't help but find it hilarious

he won her over when he brings the topic of cats wandering around their school campus

saw how her eyes lit up brightly

“the stray cats here are fun to play with, right?”

“yeah, me and friends decided to name a few of them too!”

he mentioned it to her because he saw her playing with the cats when she was waiting for someone or when she has time to play with them during recess

and the ramblings of a high schooler about cats commences

he wasn’t bothered about how much she talked

would nod along with what she says

because wow, shes really passionate about cats

that's a huge bonus for minho

and that was how minho adopted another kitten

whenever they weren’t busy with their own things, they would play with the cats together

playdate with cats <3

she would tell him that one particular grey cat was called

“this cat’s name is miss universe! they’re so cute, right?” she picked the cat up and cuddle with it, eyes sparkling with joy

“why did you guys name them that?”

“because why not?”

“fair enough point.”

and she laughs

he was glad that she stopped being so cautious around him if he was being honest

since the way chan was talking about her so affectionately made him really curious about her

casually mentions that jisung talks about her a lot

expected her to be bashful about it

but all she does was

“oh, cool, what did he say? I’m a weeb? Hah, he’s the same as I am” + "he should've said to it my face, senior minho, hmph"

so making her flustered backfired on him

poor minho

here’s your “you tried” star

mwah

so yeah, minho adopted a new cat (his little junior)

---

seo changbin

same case as the two above, unfortunately

if they do ever interact, it's short and pleasantries

mc does kinda find him intimidating to certain extent

she's not good with dealing with intimidating looking people

but when he smiles, her shoulders feel less tense when she interacts with him

thinks of him as a pretty cool senior

he made her listen to his rap once n she told him that he's so cool n that stuck with him for days

imagine a junior telling you that you're so cool with that starry-eyed expression

your ego would go off the rooftop

after that, changbin would make it out of his way to greet her in the hallways

RAP MUSIC BUDDIES???? POTENTIAL

pat her on the head occasionally

if she doesn't dodge like hell away from his hands

“why do you keep avoiding them”

“no, don’t pat me, you’re treating me like a cat”

“I’m not?” lies, ever since minho told him that she reminds him of a cat, he really thought about it more

“you have that same look minho gives me when he tries to pat me…hyung…”

“we’re really going to make you call us oppa one day, watch us”

“um, yeah, no.”

“let your cute senior pat your head!!”

“im gonna run away!”

he knows that the younger ones in their friend group do interact with her

esp felix and jisung

for innie’s circumstances, that’s different

she does comes to him every once in awhile to abuse her title of his cute little junior to get a chance to listen to a teaser of his raps or songs he composes

found out that she does like rap songs! a lot more than he thought

they became those friends who shares new songs they found out and share it with each other

even at ungodly hours like 2am in the morning

that would not stop them

“this song reminds me of you”

“hey hey hey listen to this, psst”

“This shit SLAPS, go listen or else im gonna fight you in the school hallway, coward”

he became smug about it and boast about his knowledge to 3racha

jisung complained that he thought she only listened to anime songs or soft indie songs because he saw her playlists before

changbin told them that she has other playlists that’s for more “intense and aggressive” songs

they were floored and the conversation starts like this,

“what do you mean she likes listening to yours and ours music and raps?”

“im not kidding, she does! she even showed me her playlists that were filled with rap, rock and metal songs!!”

“my little mc? likes those songs? are you sure you’re not dreaming?”

“it’s a public playlist, i even followed her playlists”

“If you’re wrong, hyung, im really gonna fight you on this! bc I KNOW her first”

“doesn’t mean that you know her BETTER”

lots of petty bickerings

chan and jisung has a big revelation about mc that day at school

(there goes mc’s little rep within their group of friends)

he did warned them to not tell her that he told them about it and

that they actually are aware of her music taste

or else

she tried to rap really fast one time, trying to rap like how he does

he had to witness her biting her tongue live

changbin would never think someone like her would have

such a vulgar language

every profanity he knows came out of her mouth

he quickly got her something to soothe her wounded tongue

after fretting over her though, he started teasing her

relentlessly

she threatened to sue him

"I'll sue you"

"with what money?"

"my 2 fucking dollars lunch money!"

"that's not enough to pay anything, not even your attorney!"

"fight me!"

he’s that older brother figure that mc would come to whenever she has no one to tell her woes to

their relationship turned out to have lots of playful banters and teasings

he gives very comforting hugs and pats

mc doesn’t want to admit it tho

well, until, changbin caught her snuggling into his hugs one fine day

“admit it, you like them, you like my hugs”

“okay, fine, i DO like them, they’re great hugs, don’t let it go to your head.”

“I KNEW IT”

“You’re so loud, shut up, hyung!”

“OH MY GOD, YOU FINALLY ADMIT TO IT, IM GONNA TELL THE WORLD-KSDFNKSDNF-”

"FUCK- I SAID, SHUSH"

rip in peace, changbin

he didn’t expect someone like her would have so much strength to smother his mouth with her hand and shut it

the more you know

curiousity killed the cat????

---

hwang hyunjin

avoidance at all cost (pt.2) despite being in the same year

why? exhibit a: he's considered very attractive in her year and that her classmates n batch mates have crushes on him

coughs one of the school princes coughs

their batch year prince

she's really gonna swerve away from him

interactions will be kept at a bare minimum

one time hyunjin n some others wanted to borrow a textbook from their class because they have forgotten theirs n he chose hers

she could feel cold sweat forming as she feels the death stare of some of her classmates

that gta [wasted] sfx whenever ur character dies

yeah that's mc

that was probably the last time she would even think about it

when he returned it back to her, he smiled at her, the really cute eye smile and she felt like she made the target on her back bigger lol

goodbye mc you've lived a good life

your friends will definitely will play never gonna give you up during your funeral (it's a promise)

jokes aside

hyunjin would probably noticed the panicked look in her eyes and wondered why

since his friends like felix and...jisung...and seungmin are like on good terms with her

he probably wondered about it a lot

borderlines on overthinking since both felix and jisung are particularly close to her

so she should know that he’s friends with them

ever since that encounter, it would come across his head whenever he saw her hanging out freely with felix or jisung or both of them

or when he come across her in the hallways

sometimes he wants to greet her but it feels like it would scare her away

esp when she looks ready to run into the opposite direction

if he ever made eye contact with her

so his plan to befriend mc has started

tried to join into the trio hangout; jisung, felix and mc

mc never did protest his presence like at all

but does occasionally look stiff when he's near her

eventually shes comfortable enough with him

but not enough to actually hang out with him alone though

that thought kind of made him feel envious towards the other boys

and a little left out

as a teenager, he has too many emotions to handle so

jisung and felilx caught the idea and told him to let her

take her time because she kinda. shy. (???)

that didn't stop him from mulling over it tho sometimes

one day he found her waiting at the bus stop

it was in the evening, she was still in her school uniform

he was kinda on an errand run too

kinda didn’t want to sit on the same bench as her

afraid that she might run away

she noticed him standing there eventually albeit very anxiously and kinda awkward

a casual greeting slipped past her lips which shocked hyunjin to his very core

he splutters back a reply

“on an errand run, errand boy?"

"huh?"

“uh, um, pretend that i didn’t say anything.”

“right, sure, but may i sit next to you, the bus seemed to be late and my legs are kinda tired.”

“oh, uh, yeah, sure, but you didn’t have to ask, y’know?”

“well, didn’t wanna scare you off…"

“it’s nothing personal, if that’s what you’re worried about,” + “it’s just. didn’t wanna step on a landmine and the girls in our batch seemed to adore you a lot and me being close to you might set off the wrong signal…?”

“that’s absurd, you’re...being unreasonable..i mean, its none of their business-!”

“i know, im sorry, my bad, it’s not your fault either, it’s not anyone’s fault, to be honest.”

for a moment, he found her reasoning to be petty and unreasonable until it finally clicks inside her head, from her point of view when he really thought it through.

“...no wait, im sorry, i think, i kinda get why when i really thought about it.”

“yeah, it’s no biggie, don’t worry, im sorry too, we’ll both get over it”

“...um, we’re friends, right?”

“...i suppose so, if you dont mind, dummy.”

a giddy smile crossed his face while mc struggles to not stare at him looking so cute like that as she coughs into her hand, avoiding eye-contact

pretty boys have too much power in their hands

and she’s one of their fallen victims towards their charms

this isn’t fair for her heart

so when the bus arrived

they sat beside each other on the bus

hyunjin did most of the chattering while mc listens

he was so glad he cleared smth up with her

if she allows it, he would definitely tried to hug her

until he remembers that one time changbin told him he almost got punch in the face by her

when he tried doing it the first time and startled her

yeah no not now

maybe sometime in the near future, a long-awaited hug would be great

(if he was honest tho, he really wanted to cry when she told him the truth)

(it felt like a heartache)

but it’s okay now though

they’re friends now (somewhat) and that’s all that matters

---

[masterlist]

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bonny-kookoo · 4 years

Text

Bittersweet (JJK x Reader) ☕️💜🔞

🍪 Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

🍪 Genre: Barista!AU, Mutual pining, smut because this is my content we’re talking about

🍪 Warnings: mentions of sickness, mentions of vomiting, best boi Koo, coffee puns, casual y’all during sex, protected sex because we have our lives under control in this household, overstimulation, rough! Koo, spanking (like..once), doggy-style because why not, reader rides Koo for a moment before he takes the upper hand again, they’re just being a mess ok

🍪 Summary: every day she’s his favorite costumer. So when she’s suddenly absent; what’s he supposed to do without any way to contact her?

Jungkooks eyes began to sparkle as she stepped inside, wrapped up in a fluffy brown jacket, a scarf around her neck.

His scarf to be exact.

Now, they both weren't a couple- but close enough. He'd given her his scarf the day before as she'd forgotten hers at home; and due to the cold weather outside, he'd immediately gotten concerned over her health. He knew that she hated the cold- so he'd gifted his own protection against the harsh wind outside to her, uncaring about himself in that moment.

It gave him a weird sense of pride knowing that she wore it still. And as she stepped closer, Jungkook had already prepared her usual order- never forgetting to include her favorite cookies, a thing he'd memorized by now. She never quite drank coffee, but more like, milk and sugar with a drop of coffee. His coworker, Jin, had made fun of it several times in the past; he'd always stepped in however, as soon as he could see how embarrassed she got.

"Oh?" He asked, as he noticed her red nose and glossy eyes. "Are you okay?" He asked, and she giggled before coughing. He furrowed his brows. Hopefully she didn't want to go to work like that- but by now he knew her well enough to have a very big suspicion that that was exactly her plan for the day.

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Oh hey what's brewing? Looking good yourself, thanks for the compliment-" She said, trying to laugh but coughing again. "Hey look, I kind of wanted to return your scarf, but I also don't want to share my bacteria with you so- is it okay if I keep it for a bit?" She said, voice a bit muffled due to her facemask. He nodded, a slight pout on his lips.

"I know you're gonna go to work but-" He said, placing her order on the counter for her to take, as she placed down the money he took. "Can you at least go home a bit earlier? You really do look not so good." He said, doe-eyes growing a bit pleading at her as she sighed.

"I'll try, okay?" She said, and he nodded. Technically he'd ask her to promise, but he also knew how headstrong she was. The fact that she aknowledged his request was good enough for now.

"Okay." He said, smiling a bit as he waved from behind the counter as she left. "Take care!" He called out as she still waved, almost tripping over the small step outside the door as he chuckled, turning to the next costumer.

She wasn't there the next day.

Typically he should not get too worried about it, but as the week passed, she still didn't show up. A coworker of hers couldn't tell him either what was going on; only that she wasn't at work either.

So she was probably at home resting. Hopefully.

"...kook. Jungkook!" Jin called out, saving his younger coworker from spilling hot milk all over his hand. "Okay, spill the beans loverboy." He sternly said as he took him to the side, the cafe calm and almost empty as they were close to closing time. Jungkook sighed as he ran a hand over his face, groaning for a moment.

"I'm worried!" He exclaimed, no need to say out loud who he was talking about. "I know that she's an independent adult person who can surely take care of herself but what if something happened? What if she's at home too sick to take care of herself? Jin during the entire time she came here, she never missed an entire week!" He explained in pout as he let himself flop down on one of the small chairs. Seokjin sighed, before he looked at the clock.

"Go. I'll wrap things up today." He said, as Jungkook furrowed his brows. Even if he went home now, that didn't help his situation at all! "I'll give you her number and you can call her-" He started, as Jungkook suddenly jumped up.

"You have her number?! Why didn't you tell me?" He yelled, absolutely scandalized by this.

Seokjin threw his hands up in defeat. "Okay slow down, first of all you never asked. Second of all she told me not to!" He said, and Jungkooks look shifted. He suddenly didn't look offended anymore- he looked hurt. Betrayed almost.

"Why.?" He asked, now way quieter.

Jin sighed. "She wanted you to ask for it instead." He answered, and Jungkook threw his head back again, groaning as Jin laughed. "Give me your phone.." He said, taking the device from him and putting in her contact info. "There you go. Use protection kid!" He called after Jungkook, who'd immediately grabbed his phone and ran out, putting on his coat on his way.

The older one simply shook his head, smiling.

"..yeah?" The very tired voice of hers answered as Jungkook sat up straighter on his couch.

"H-Hey its Jungkook! You know, Kookie, the barista who puts in vanilla sugar instead of the lame stuff?" He said, and suddenly a laugh reached his ear, making him involuntarily smile. "Hey, I.. you didn't show up the entire week and it made me kind of worry so, I wanted to ask if you're good?" He asked, shyness slowly dying down.

Her voice sounded strained. "Yeah yeah, just great-" She said, before coughing. "Okay yeah no. Have you ever needed to sneeze but you couldnt?" She asked, and he hummed a reply, agreeing that he indeed had been in that situation before. "I feel absolutely like I'm gonna, you know, throw up, but I can't." She groaned, and his brows furrowed at that.

"I promise I don't try to be creepy here but-" He started, as he looked at his dog, peacefully sleeping next to him on the couch. "Can you give me your address maybe so I can come over? I- Listen I'm super worried, and no one should be left alone when sick." He said, and wondered if he was overstepping a line. Until he heard some shuffling, and a jingling sound.

"I'll text it to you, k? I uh.. unlocked the door now because I sure as hell won't be getting up anymore today." She said, as he chuckled.

"Oh, so you're gonna make me your maid?" He asked, and she giggled.

"Thats the plan Kookie."

"Y/N?" He called, without getting an answer. He thought about it, before trying a second attempt. "Midget!"

The answer was almost instantly. "The fuck do you mean Mid-" She tried, before coughing.

Jungkook walked inside the bedroom after searching for a moment, looking at her with a pitiful smile as he leaned against the doorframe. If she wasn't feeling so absolutely disgusting in that moment, she would've whistled at his way different outfit. After all, she mainly only saw him in his regular work attire; the black button up and ripped jeans he sported now a complete one-eighty to that. He looked so much more mature like that- now actually giving away that he was a bit older than her. Did he always have such a defined jawline? He could definitely cut a bitch with that-

Wow, exit was three miles ago.

"Done staring sugar?" He asked, and she only groaned, burying herself deeper into her massive mountain of blankets as he chuckled. "Alright. I'm gonna carry you into the living room, because I wont be spending my time in your stuffy bedroom." He said, making her giggle as she peeked out of her makeshift burrito.

"You won't?" She asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively before sneezing into the blankets, making him chuckle again.

"You're sick, so no." He said, and she suddenly yelped as he leaned down to pick her up. "What?" He asked with wide eyes.

"I'm sick!"

"So?"

"I'm sick."

"Heard that before." He said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. She swallowed a bit at that because- was that a tattoo staring at her? Why did she never notice his hand was inked?! She shook her head, to focus again. "You'll get sick too!" She explained, before he scoffed.

"It's not like I'm licking your face sugar, now stop being difficult." He said, as he picked her up, blankets and everything included as he carried her back, placing her onto her couch before he squatted down in front of her face. "I'm gonna heat up some soup, and you'll eat something alright?" He said, and she shook her head.

"I'm gonna throw it up." She said, a pout evident. She didn't want his hard work to simply go down the drain- quite literally.

"That's okay." He answered, as she furrowed her brows. "You probably can't throw up because you haven't eaten. People typically feel better after vomiting so it's okay. Win win situation, really." He said as if it wasn't a huge deal.

"It's gross though." She mumbled.

"It happens." He said back, as he placed the white plastic bag on her kitchen counter, filling some of the soup from the plastic container into a small bowl he had a bit of issues finding, before he heated it up in her microwave. He was absolutely terrified of using them usually, making her laugh at him every time someone brought it up, but this time he didn't care much. "Here, let me help." He hummed, as he placed the bowl and a spoon on the small coffee table in front of her couch, helping her sit up properly. "Slowly, okay? You don't need to finish it, just a bit at a time alright sugar?" He requested, and she nodded, watching him as he sat down next to her, bowl on his thigh while he blew on the spoon, careful to cool the liquid food down before offering it. She kept her eyes on his focused face as she opened her lips, accepting it as he gently smiled. "There we go. Hope it doesn't suck, Jin says I can't cook for shit." He said with a chuckle.

"Doesn't matter, I can't taste much anyways." She shrugged, as he offered another small spoonful.

He snorted a bit as he kept himself concentrated. "Well I guess I'll just have to get you better, and cook for you when your tastebuds work again." He decided, as she smiled.

"Huh?" He noticed, as the small form of her whizzed past him, practically throwing open the bathroom door before he heard her. He dried his hands, sighing as he went inside the bathroom, spotting her leaning over the toilet bowl, gripping it with pale hands. "Oh sugar." He hummed, before he squatted next to her, a comforting hand running over her back as the other gathered her hair, holding it away from her face. He hushed her the best he could, a bit of helplessness seeping into his mind as he watched her struggle. She leaned her head on the side of the bowl for a moment, breathing heavily with closed eyes. Jungkook reached for a piece of toilet paper, wiping her mouth before he continued his gentle caressing of her back. "Better?" He asked, and she nodded, before opening her eyes, tearing up. "Whats wrong?" He asked, as he helped her sit, flushing the toilet.

"I hate this." She said, angrily wiping her eyes.

"Everyone gets sick." He said with a slight smile, searching for toothpaste as he prepared everything for her to get the taste off of her tongue.

"Thats not what I meant." She mumbled, as he looked at her. "I hate that you see me like this. I'm disgusting and a walking piece of dead meat at this point, radiating germs." She huffed, as he went down in front of her, pointing her toothbrush at her lips as she opened them almost automatically. He smiled at her reaction, placing the brush inside her mouth as she took over, lazily brushing her teeth.

"I think you're still pretty." He said, as she looked at him with an unamused look in her eyes. "I feel good that you let me take care of you like this. It feels nice that you let me see you like that." He explained, as he helped her up to walk towards the sink, turning on the water as she rinsed her mouth. "I don't like you any less, of you're worried about that." He said, and she almost choked on the water inside her mouth.

She knew he liked her, romantically, yet he'd never openly said it.

"I know its a bit sudden, but I've been pretty obvious." He said, as he wiped her mouth with a towel, before smiling at her.

"If I wasn't sick right now I'd be all cliche and kiss you right now, but I can't." She said, pouting a bit as he chuckled, kissing his two fingers before placing them onto her lips.

"Indirect kiss then."

"Okay but espresso is absolutely disgusting." She said, leaning over the counter to grab a mini cookie, before yelping as Jungkook playfully slapped her hands.

"Everyone can decide for themselves, first of all, and stop stealing shit." He said as he pointed at her, gasping scandalized as she teasingly tried to bite his finger. "Really now?" He asked, and she laughed.

"Okay kids, be disgusting somewhere else please!" Seokjin yelled, grabbing Jungkook by his apron as he pushed him into the backroom, telling him to change and go home. "Yoongi and I will close up today." He said to the young girl waiting, as she nodded.

"Alright sugar, lets go and be disgusting!" Jungkook exclaimed as he emerged from the backroom, now dressed in familiar all black attire, as he scooped her up, making her laugh as they both walked out of the cafe, towards his car.

"I want you to move in with me." He said between huffs of breaths as she mewled underneath him, body shaking with every encounter with his thrusting hips. She nodded as she smiled when he leaned down to kiss her collarbone, hand running over her breasts as he teasingly pinched a nipple between his fingers.

"You'll- urgh-" She groaned, as he bit the skin. "You'll have to carry my shit though." She pressed out, as he laughed at that, leaning back as he expertly angled his hips to hit her sweet spot deep inside, making her arch her back.

"Ah- that's fine with m..me!" He stuttered as he began to put more force into his movements, sacrificing speed for strength as she hummed in delight underneath him, grabbing the pillow above her head as she started to grow restless. "You gonna cum sugar? Nice and hard?" He asked playfully as he moved his hand over her exposed clit, fingers rubbing over the sensitive bundle of nerves as she gasped in pleasure, thighs suddenly shaking as she came, clenching around him. "Hm, good girl." He hummed, before she huffed, suddenly squirming before she squealed, wetness escaping her as he chuckled, sight enough to send him over the edge as well. "There we go, giving me a show aren't you sugar?" He said, voice hoarse as he let himself lean over her again, before she suddenly grinned up at him, pulling him down and shoving a bit to get him to lay down, suddenly above him as she sunk down on his still sensitive cock.

He laghed and choked up as she continued to ride him, her own second orgasm approaching as he squeezed his eyes shut. "God- good god ah!" He yelled out between laughter at the way he could feel his own legs tremble, unsure if what he was feeling was torture of absolute heaven. "Pl-Please God, Baby you're-" He pressed out, gasping as he suddenly felt himself close to a second orgasm as well. "You're gonna kill me you fucking demon!" He exclaimed, roughly turning her around as he pulled her legs against her stomach again, thrusting with newfound strength, as she giggled and squealed. "That's what you wanted?" He asked between gritted teeth as she pressed her eyes close. "Little demon can't get enough of this dick?" He teased as she nodded, now desperately racing towards her release as he suddenly slipped out of her, adjusting the condom with a trembling hand as he manhandles her laughing body onto her stomach, pulling on her lower half as he slipped inside her wet cunt from behind, bringing his inked hand down onto her butt with a loud slap for good measure as she whined. "Oh now you're complaining? Should've known what-" He groaned out in between his words as he grabbed her thighs, pulling her against his relentless hips as she moaned out into the pillow below her. "-Should've know what you got yourself into." He finished, before she arched her back again, reaching behind her to push him off as her eyes teared up from overstimulation. As he saw her painful expression he immediately pulled out of her, pulling the condom off of his erection as he desperately pumped his length, finishing in small spurts on the arch of her back before they both collapsed, breathing heavily.

"Okay, I loved every second of it sugar but-" He exclaimed breathless, as she cuddled up next to him, throwing a leg over his body as he laughed. "What the fuck was that?"

But she simply giggled, mind still too hazy to form any words.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts smut #bts #jungkook imagine #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts reactions

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bubblybubbubs · 4 years

Text

Bland (1)

Draco Malfoy x Reader

Royalty AU

Summary: Draco Malfoy is the Prince of Ebery and hates being a royal so when he meets you he calls himself a different name to hide his royal status.

Warning: Cursing

AN: hope you guys like this i definitely have an idea to make this a series <3 also this was very roughly inspired by the barbie princess and the pauper movie . had to repost because it wasn’t showing up in tags the first time?

btw a governess according to google is like a royal nanny.

Draco Malfoy lead a bland life. He knew he was lucky to have the riches he had, to be born a prince of Ebery, but he truly had hated his life. He had hated waking up everyday to please everyone other than himself with the same court niceties.

It was selfish of him but he wanted to just be Draco, not ‘Your Highness’ or ‘Prince Draco’. The formalities were just a reminder of how his life had been decided for him the minute he was born.

He only had two real friends Blaise Zabini and Daphne Greengrass, the only two tolerable members of the court.

Anyone else was ancient or insufferable, such as Vincent Crabbe his cousin who he could not stand. Crabbe was almost an exact opposite of Draco, which was interesting considering they had been raised by the same governess.

Crabbe was all too eager to jump at any chance of power, there were countless times he had told his grandfather how unfit Draco was to be King. There was little Crabbe wouldn’t do for the crown, Draco was lucky it wasn’t passed down or Crabbe might have killed to get his hands on it.

In Ebery the monarch would chose any one from his lineage to rule after his/her passing, this was always announced the day after the Monarch’s death which left a lot of animosity between the possible heirs.

Draco didn’t want the crown and he was pretty sure he wouldn’t get it even if he did, Abraxos Malfoy wasn’t exactly his biggest fan. He didn’t remember a single conversation they had, they usually ended abruptly when the King decided he had enough family bonding time.

He hadn’t cared about the royal life or the crown. he had planned on leaving his dreadful life to a place where no one would know about Ebery and he would’ve done it, had it not been for y/n.

He met Y/N Y/L/N when he was disguised as a commoner with Blaise, and they both decided to go out on the town.

“Here put this hat on it’ll hide your hair.” Blaise said pushing a hat towards him. It was a big fedora that was an ugly shade of yellow, it looked about as old as him.

“It’s hideous, where did you even find this.” Draco groaned.

“It was all I could find with the short notice, we can go back to the castle if you’d like.” Before Blaise could continue Draco put on the huge hat making sure to hide his hair before they entered the pub.

“That girl is totally checking you out.” Blaise whispered when they sat down. Draco peered behind him to see a girl staring at him who had smiled when they made eye contact.

“Do you think she recognizes me.”

“I don’t know, go ask her.” Blaise said encouraging Draco to go talk to her. Draco straightened the smock he wore before going up to her.

“I was hoping you’d come talk to me.” She said grinning up from her drink.

“Really how come.” He said talking a seat next to her.

“A guy with a hat like that is bound to be intresting.” She chuckled.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“I haven’t seen you around here, what’s your name.”

“Um my name is Julian and that’s my friend uh Norman.”

“I’m Y/N”

Draco had made a point to visit her as much as he could, he grew fond of her.

“In my bakery again Julian, one would think you like me.” The girl said as she stepped towards the counter to greet him.

“Maybe I do Y/N.” Draco said leaning against the counter . He definitely did, Blaise claimed it was obvious but if Y/N noticed she didn’t show it.

“I’m taking a break.” The girl yelled out towards the kitchen before grabbing Draco and heading to the streets quickly ditching her apron and hat.

“What’s with you and hats, every time I see you you’re wearing one. Are you bald?.” She said as they walked through the shops motioning to the flat cap he wore today.

Draco tensed. his hair would be a dead give away of who he was, almost every king in the Malfoy line had the same almost white hair . He knew it was inevitable she find out who he was but he liked the friendship they had and wanted to keep it that away as long as possible. Maybe he should go bald.

“I have a weirdly shaped head.” He stammered. He wanted to kick himself, was that really the best he could come up with. She still laughed.

“You’re strange Julian.” She said sorting through a box of junk a vendor was selling.

”Tell me something about yourself. I feel like you know everything about me but I know nothing about you.” She said walking towards a tree and plopping down.

“There’s not much to know.” He said sitting next to her.

“I doubt that.”

“Well im an only child-

“None of that boring stuff. What do you want to do with your life, what are your goals.” She said cutting him off.

Draco was quiet for a second, no one ever asked him what his goals were. Everyone just assumed he wanted to be King.

“I’m not sure, I’ve never really thought about it.” He said.

“What about you.”

“I want to travel the world and see everything and when I come back I’m going to be rich and take care of everyone who helped me when I was young.” He wasn’t surprised, from the little time they had known each other he could tell she had a fiery spirit with a big heart.

“Wait so you don’t want to be a baker?” He said feigning shock.

“A girl can only have so much bread in her life.”

“Can I come?” He asked facing you.

“huh?”

“When you travel the world, can i go with you?” His heart sped up, that was a stupid question they only had known each other for a month and there he was asking if they could travel together.

“I wouldn't have it any other way.” She said laying on his chest. He would do it, right there under that tree he promised himself he would go to the ends of the earth with her.

He imagined it, life with just the two of them traveling the world. No crown, no titles just the two of them.

“Do you have to go back to work.”

“My Dad will live if I skip one day of work.” She said grinning at him.

“Follow me then.” He said grabbing her by the hand.

“where are we going.” She asked.

“You’ll see.” Draco led Y/N through the streets swifting past the crowd of people in the streets and into the trees. The whole time she couldnt take his eyes off him, had she been less awestruck by him she would have noticed the Malfoy blonde hair his falling hood flashed.

“We’re almost there, close your eyes.” She did and let Draco lead her further she felt the floor under her get rockier.

“Careful.” He said holding her tighter by the hand.

She felt a cold breeze on her face. “We’re here, you can open your eyes.” She opened her eyes and she was standing on a small cliff that stood over a beautiful lake that shimmered almost magically.

He watched for her reaction carefully. This had been his favorite spot in all of Ebery growing up, whenever his mother hadn’t been busy she would take him here and they would swim together, then they would watch the sunset .

“Where are we.” She said furrowing her brow.

“Do you like it?”

“Of course I like it, it’s beautiful.”

“It’s not that well known, I was thinking it could be our little place.” She smiled widely, Draco never wanted to forget what she looked like that day so happy and carefree.

“I’d like that.” She then noticed the castle that stood tall above the trees across the lake. “Is that the castle.” He nodded.

“I’ve always wanted to go to the castle it’s beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful.” He said turning her to face him. He had known it the day he first saw her, the smile she had sent his way had knocked the wind out of him.

She blushed “I really like you Julian.” Draco was stricken by guilt and he really did want to tell her truth but how could he when things were so good. So he kissed her and just like that Draco’s life seemed a lot less bland.

——————————————-

lil extra

“Norman, why does my name have to be fucking norman.”

“I was nervous, and your dumb hat didnt make it any easier.”

#harry potter #harry potter x reader #Draco #draco malfoy x reader #royalty au #blaise zabini #daphne greengrass #second try #slytherin #draco malfoy #hp

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chaandknight · 5 years

Text

Maybe | Roger Taylor | Smut/Angst

Summary: Breakup sex is never a good idea. 4k words.

A/N: This got away from me. I’m sorry in advance. Thank you to my beta @haveanaverageday I love you. Relationships are hard I would know, but remember this is just a fic, and not the best model for a relationship.

Requests are open

Tags: Smut, angst, swearing, +18

Maybe you two just weren’t meant for each other. Maybe all the time you had spent building something together just wasn’t worth it. Maybe the universe just had more plans for you. Maybe the constant time apart had drawn a wedge between you. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Your relationship with Roger was always filled with maybes. Maybe he would come home early from a party. Maybe you’d have for date night. Maybe he would call while on tour. Maybe you would come and visit him on tour. Maybe you got lonely while he was away and made some dumb mistakes. Maybe he did too. Maybe you both were to blame. Maybe.

Despite all that you couldn’t help the sinking feeling in your heart as you packed your things. You and Roger had been together for the longest of times, constantly on and then off again. You would always make up quickly, but this time was different. Both of you could feel it, it had been weeks since you had talked, seeing each other was an entirely different question. He had sent word through his personal assistant, and you in turn had replied. The messages were short, the calls only lasting for a second seconds. It all started with his message, relayed through his PA.

“He knows.” Is all he had said. You replied, saying that you knew about all the girls as well. There was no reply after that. After two weeks of contemplation, barely sleeping in your shared bed you decided. You left a message for him, asking him to organise your moving out. It was simple. Once you had found suitable accommodation you'd move. You'd take everything that was yours. He'd keep his flat. He even offered to help you move out, paying for removalists. Deciding to handle this like an adult, you accepted. You had surprised yourself by the way you had handled all this, how diplomatic you both were. Usually your ‘breakups’ were messy, arguing that would escalate into screaming matches. Sometimes turning extremely nasty when both of your prides were wounded, opting to yell out petty, personal things to one another. One of you would then storm out, the other following closely behind not willing to let whatever you had go. Sometimes you'd spend time apart, stewing in anger. Then would come the sex. A makeup fuck is what he called it after the first two times. Then it had just become habit, a vicious toxic cycle that would sometimes last days. You two had just fallen into your roles, accepting that this was how it would be. That was until now.

You would lying if you said there wasn't any good moments in-between. Those were the best, often taking off as a honeymoon stage all over again. You would whisper and giggle in each other's ears, unable to keep hands off each other. You'd fuck and you'd make slow love. He'd take you places, compliment you on everything and help with your various art projects. You would spend nights together, just in each other's presence doing your own work. That was until the next ‘break up’, where moments like this started becoming more sparse and arguments increasingly common. It was all too much. The both of you were relieved when the tour was announced, finally able to spend time apart without having to worry about discussing deeper things. Things that would be too painful, too complicated to talk about.

Maybe that’s why the sinking feeling in your chest wouldn’t go away. You couldn’t go into a room without being triggered by the memories you both had made. You swallowed the lump in forming in your throat, shoving the rest of your paints in the box and taping it closed, compartmentalising your feelings at the same time. This was for the best. You were both toxic to each other, this was definitely not a healthy relationship even if there was something between you two. You looked around the lounge once again. It seemed empty without your paintings covering the walls, your various pot plants on the window sill. You wondered if he would miss notice your things gone. What did you care though? You cast a glance around the room trying to pick out anything you may of left behind.

That lump in your throat reformed, threatening to choke you with all the feelings that were now rising to the surface. For the first time it finally hit you. It was over. You hadn’t talked or seen him in weeks and you most likely wouldn’t see him again either. His tour ended two weeks from now and he rarely ever came home, too busy with parties and recording. You noticed your acrylic paint still out. He wouldn’t notice an extra painting would he?

You wiped your forehead with your arm, pretty sure you had smudged some yellow paint onto it. You didn’t really care. The painting had made you lose track of time. The front door opened just as you realised you should of been out two bloody hours ago. You grabbed a large paint brush as your weapon heading to the door. Had someone broken in? Whoever it was seemed to have the keys to the front door. You tried to control your breathing and not let your mind run wild. You couldn’t help it though. Was it some crazy stalker fan? Would you be found dead in your boyfriends exboyfriends home? Your heart was beating a mile a minute as you flicked on the light, ready to use your paintbrush.

“Were you going to paint me to death?” His voice was thick with exhaustion, you lowered your paintbrush, not sure if you wanted a murderer in here more rather than face the man standing in front of you. The man you hadn’t seen in weeks. You had almost forgotten how bright his eyes were, how his hair was always dischevlied, the smallest hints of stubble on his jawline. All the emotions you had laid down in the canvas laying in the dining room behind came bubbling to the surface.

You tried not to let your voice shake as you spoke.

“You’re meant to be on tour” you said simply, not wanting to drag this out for long. He let his smile drop, his shoulders slumped you could see just how tired he was. He set his keys on the bench. Running a hand through his hair.

“You’re meant to be gone” he snapped. You tried not to let his words hurt you, but despite all the walls you had mentally put him the words cut through you like a knife through butter. You wanted to cry, he was letting you go so easily, without a care in the world. You took a breath, determined to not let him see how close you were to breaking down.

You turned around, ignoring his presence all together and heading to where your paints were laid out. You wiped your hands on the rag, screwing on the lids to the paint pots. You’d pack them all into their box later. His footsteps echoed off the tiles, you ignored his presence behind you and headed straight for the shower in the main bedroom - his room. The plan was to shower before leaving, your clothes were already lay out. You closed the door behind you, but it wouldn't close properly. You stepped back as he stepped into the bathroom.

He had a look in his eye that made your breath catch in your throat. He walked towards you, unknowingly you stepped back, almost tripped over the shower glass panel. It was as if he had you pinned with his gaze alone. You were like a deer caught in headlights, unable to anything but retreat further back. You stepped into the shower, he was still following you until you were cornered against the wall of the shower. You never were scared of him, even if he was yelling from across the room at you, however now, combined with all your emotions about moving out, the thought of being murdered and his words from earlier - you couldn't help the small hint of dear that plagued your mind. He was in your personal space, body almost touching yours. He looked down on you, and you couldn't decipher his facial expression.

Your heart was beating against your chest, almost threatening to break free. Your breath only quickened when he reached over, hand near your waist. You could almost feel him grabbing your waist, pulling you to him. But he only turned the knob to the turn on the water, soaking both yours and his clothes under the large shower head. His breathing was almost as heavy as yours, and you weren't sure if it was from anger or not. You opened your mouth to speak, but he cut you off with his lips.

The kiss was rough, filled with weeks of frustration. You kissed him back, trying to show your anger and hurt at all this. You were just now coming to terms with how you felt about all this, previously running on autopilot. He reached up cupping your cheeks, trying to pull you even closer as his took your lip between his teeth tugging harshly. You were the first to pull away, shock coming over you. You pushed his chest but he didn't budge.

“What the fuck was that?” You demanded, voice high. You resorting to pushing his chest over and over in an attempt to get him to move. You both knew you weren't actually trying, maybe it was just an act. Maybe. He grabbed your wrists, still looking down at you.

“Just” he started, getting distracted by your jaw. He pressed feather light kisses to your skin there. You were frozen on the spot, trying to piece together what the hell was going on. “Just shut the fuck up for once will you?” he said, nipping the skin at your neck making you gasp. Your hand found its way to his hair, running your finger through the wet strands as his kisses covered every inch of your neck, leaving the occasional mark here and there, every bite making the smallest of moans escape your lips. His hands were on your waist, pulling up your damp shirt the slightest bit. He pulled away from your neck, pulling your shirt over your head. He was rougher than he needed to be and it annoyed you. You retaliated, swinging a leg around his waist and dragging your nails down his chest.

“I don't hear from you for weeks and you expect me to come back to you?” You demanded, undoing the buttons in his shirt and pulling it off, throwing it somewhere in the bathroom. He kissed you again, stealing your breath before replying,

“Didn’t you get my messages?” He asked, trailing kisses down your neck, his hands working on undoing your jeans. You huffed, slapping his hands away, replacing them with your own. You didn’t accept his reply. As if sending half assed messages through his PA was going to cut it. As if it had a chance of keeping your relationship going. Did he seriously expect the “he misses you” messages to combat the whispers you heard from friends and the press about his antics?

“You're a fucking prick.” You hissed, pausing momentarily to look at him. You elbowed him, trying to get him to give you some space. He stepped back, just the slightest bit. You pulled off your jeans kicking them away, he had done the same. “You know that's not what I meant” you said, annoyed at your own lack of self control. You could never resist him.

“What did you mean darling?” He whispered, voice laced with hurt and something else you couldn’t quite pin down. “Did you get lonely without me? Is that what it was? Did you need me to reassure you every night?” he said, a dangerous tone in his voice. This was taking a turn into dangerous territory. You dragged your nails down his chest, watching him flinch the slightest bit. Good. You were hurting him.

“At least I don’t hire people to keep my fucking bed warm” you shot back, pushing his chest once again. He grabbed your wrists, this time squeezing them the slightest bit, a warning. You both seemed to communicate through your eyes. You looked up at him, daring him to come up with some reply to your words. He stood firm however, looking at you as if to tell you that you both were the worst.

“Can we just fucking stop? For once” he said finally, surprising you. He ran his hands down your arms, resting them on your waist. “I’m tired” as if that was an excuse. You fought the urge to roll your eyes. You wanted to fight back, push him away and make him work for it. But it was as if seeing his exhaustion had triggered your own. You were tired from packing, the sheer effort of shoving down your emotions had drained you. You let out the breath you hadn’t realised you were holding, running your fingers down his chest in a vain attempt to soothe the red marks from earlier.

“Fine, but if you start again don’t blame me for responding to your bullshit” you said, looking up at him. Both your words had different meanings. It was as if you were promising not to bring up the past again, at least not tonight. It was a mutual understanding. He nodded, leaning forward and kissing down your neck.

“Stay here tonight” he whispered, voice cracking the slightest bit. Did he actually feel a hint of a sadness about you leaving? Perhaps you did. You didn't spend this long with someone and not develop some kinds of feelings for them. You ran your hands over his chest, lean muscle from constantly drumming almost every night.

“Why should I?” you challenged, deciding that he'd have to work for it. You weren't going to let him have you this easily. He gripped your waist, lifting you up, your back brushing up against the tiles. His intention was clear, and you scrambled to wrap your legs around his waist to keep yourself from falling. You were now just the slightest bit higher than him. He looked up at you, leaning in to kiss you slowly.

“Because I'm asking you to” he said simply as he pulled away, peppering kisses over your jaw. You had no reply for him, running your hands through his hair just letting him enjoy your body. So maybe you'd never see him again. You knew this probably was a bad decision, it would complicate things further. Your mind however, could not focus too busy focusing on the brush of his lips against the skin of your neck. Yes, you'd probably regret this later on but why shouldn't you live in the moment now? He seemed to take your silence as a no and immediately started to untangle himself from you, trying mask his disappointment. You wrapped your arms around his neck, cupping his cheeks and pulling his face so you could look into his eyes. You gently traced his jaw with your finger,

“I will” your voice barely a whisper. He wasted no time in pressing his lips to yours, gripping your waist once more. You ran your hand through his hair, the both of you trying to pull the other closer despite being pressed together already. The kiss was desperate, weeks of pent of frustration, anger and hurt focused in on one kiss. He pulled away and you took the chance to take his bottom lip between your teeth, tugging the slightest bit. He let out a small groan, pulling you into yet another kiss. You didn't know just how long you both were there. Your back ached the slightest bit from being pressed against the tiles for so long and the water had ran cold for a while now. He would pull away every so often to trail kisses down your neck, his fingers straying between your legs, stroking against your core just so before pulling away. Your soft moans getting drowned out by the sound of the water. He'd whisper in your ear, meaningless remarks like missing you and wanting you so badly. You returned the favour, not even completely sure what you whispered to him. Your hips rocked against him, making him groan into your neck

You clung to him desperately, running your hands down his chest. Your lips hurting the slightest bit from him constantly nipping at them. You pulled away, breathing heavy. You wanted him to finger you properly, or at least for him to do something. The constant teasing was driving you mad. He could sense it too, pressing a kiss to the one of the many forming hickey's he'd left on your neck.

“You want me darling?” He asked, as breathless as you were. His lips were red, yours were probably the same. You nodded, trying to grind on him to get your point across. He run a hand over your jaw, tucking your hair behind your ear. You expected him to say something about the past, dig back into the scars that were seared deep into your messed up relationship. You weren’t sure if you could handle it, you wouldn’t be able to go through with this if he brought up the past now. He reached out, turning off the shower. Well that was definitely not what you were expecting. You ran a hand over his cheek, leaning forward and kissing his jawline, down to his neck. He carried you out of the shower, stepping over your discarded clothes. Perhaps if you weren’t so wrapped up in him you’d worry about falling, or him slipping and the both of you falling. However, you weren’t in your senses, too busy nipping at that one place that never failed to make him pause and shiver. You grinned into his neck, licking over the skin. You felt the bed beneath your back, he must of made it then. Before you could say anything his mouth was covering yours again, kissing you with the same desperation as before.

“The bed” you started between kisses, “It’ll get” you needed to take a breath, “wet” you finished. He snorted, trailing kisses down your neck

“Sweetheart, there’s only one thing getting wet that concerns me and it’s not the bed” he said with a grin, rolling his hips against yours eliciting yet another moan from you. You held onto him arms wrapped hooked around his shoulders. He kissed you again, almost pushing you down into the pillow. His hands were tracing along the sides of your body making your shiver. His hips slowly rolled against yours and you could feel his hardening length against you. He reached down, between your bodies and lined himself up. He pulled away from the kiss, watching your face as he pushed into you. You didn’t need much prep, thanks to all the teasing he had done in shower earlier, but god. It had been a while and you were already on edge from before. He knew how to angle everything, thanks to your history together. He had only rolled his hips against yours once and you were writhing underneath him, a mess already. You pushed against his chest,

“Wait, wait” you panted, leaning your head back and closing your eyes. You tried to control yourself, to try and maintain some semblance of control. He took his opportunity to lean down and kiss underneath your jaw. Your chest rose and fell as you tried to get your breathing under control. You rolled his hips after a beat, making you arch up, breathing out his name. He let out a breathless laugh, kissing you once again.

His pace was languid, as if the both you had all the time in the world. He kept it slow, pressing kisses over your jaw and neck, adding to the marks he had already made previously. Almost as if he was trying to commit to memory the way your body felt underneath his. You ran your hands down his back, doing the same. It was unspoken, this agreement that it would be the last time. The two of you wanted to make it last. You tried not to let your mind drift, instead focusing on guiding him back to your lips, grinding your hips against his just so, making him moan. It was a slow bump and grind sort of pace, making you cry out as he would just brush against the spot that made your toes curl. You clawed at his shoulders, getting impatient. You wanted him properly now.

He seemed to get the message clear enough, gripping your hips and doing a particularly hard thrust. You groaned, dragging your nails down his shoulders. He panted in your ear, holding onto you tight as he pushed into you over and over again. You matched his pace, pushing up your hips to meet his. The two of you too caught up in chasing your own high to care about the other. You dragged your nails down his back, making him hiss and in turn, dig his own nails into your hips. Your climax was quickly approaching, and by the way he faltered in his pace you could tell his was as well. He reached down between your bodies, drawing quick circles on your clit. You clung to him as you came, muffling your cries into his neck. Your entire body arching up into his, drawing him in closer in a desperate bid to ground yourself. He had you quite literally seeing stars. You didn’t care about much else as you came, holding onto him tightly just riding out your high as he used your body to come to his own climax. He came a quick two thrusts later, crying out your name and slamming into you one final time. You both laid there for a while, just trying to level out your breathing and holding each other.

He was the first to move, rolling off you and laying by your side. You both cleaned yourselves up in silence, not wanting to say something that would ruin the mood. This was for the best. He laid in bed, a cigarette in hand. You crawled onto the bed with him, fitting yourself into side. He put out the cigarette turning to you again. Both of you had extremely little self control, going for another two rounds before falling asleep, tangled in the sheets.

You woke just as the sun was rising, an orange glow setting over the bedroom. You turned around to find Roger asleep, a hand splayed out on your stomach. You let yourself have a moment just to gaze at him, take his face. He looked like a child when he was asleep, free from the emotions he wore when he was awake. It took everything in you to not reach out and trace his features. Instead, you untangled yourself from the sheets. Your body ached from last night, it was bittersweet. You dressed quietly, casting one last glance at his sleeping form on the bed and walking out.

Maybe you should of left a note, but it would be too much for you. Right now you had to go or else you never would. The emotions from last night coming back to you, causing a dull ache to bloom in your chest. You grabbed the paints from last night, packing them away carefully and picking up the last remaining box of your possessions. He had enough to remember you by.

The painting you did was resting against the table leg. It was him, as he was when he was asleep, how you saw him through your eyes.

How you had loved him.

Maybe he’d throw it away or maybe he’d hide it.

Maybe he’d burn it.

Maybe he’d hang it up, cover it when he was home alone because the memories were too much.

Maybe Freddie found it once, and asked him where he got from.

Maybe his voice cracked when he answered.

Maybe.

#roger taylor #ben hardy #roger taylor smut #ben hardy smut #roger taylor imagine #ben hardy imagine #roger taylor x reader #ben hardy x readyer #you x roger taylor #you x ben hardy #bohemian rhapsody #bohrap #writings #roger taylor angst #ben hardy angst #ben hardy as roger taylor #borhap

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mskinkyafro · 5 years

Text

Last Call (Ethan Ramsey x MC)

A/N: I know what most could be thinking...what the hell it’s only been two chapters, but I can’t help it! I feel so much excitement and adoration for Dr. Ethan Ramsey. We don’t know much about him but ideas were popping in my head all weekend. Any details I reference about his past in this fic is original content I conceived and nothing confirmed in PB cannon. This would definitely not be apart of cannon so cannon divergence here. The song used briefly in this fic is “These Arms of Mine” by Otis Redding.

Italicized and bold:song lyrics

Italicized: internal thoughts

Summary: Dr. Ethan Ramsay takes time to reevaluate the newest intern that’s captured his attention in more ways than one, whether he wants to admit it or not.

All Rights to PB for their characters, settings, and stories. I don’t own them, I just borrow minus my MC Dr. Katrina Michaels.

All Rights to who own the song “These Arms of Mine”.

In the mischievous hours of the night Dr. Ethan Ramsey sits alone in the now barren Donahue’s nursing another drink. The place once buzzing with noise is now near sheer silence except the gentle music playing from the jukebox. The last crop of stragglers, only a few with slurring speeches make their exit. Hearing the soft thud of the door shutting he let out a mild grunt and raises his near empty glass towards the bartender.

“Last one, buddy. My knees are screaming and any minute longer I’ll be visiting you at your job versus you visiting mine.”

Reggie says as he refills the glass and then grabs a rag to clean.

“Now we can’t be having that now.” Ethan replies before taking a small gulp.

Suspicious at such warm words from the man Reggie stops wiping down the counter to look at Ethan.

“Hmm, that’s strangely kind of you-”

Before Reggie can finish his sentence Ethan cuts him off all the while looking into his diminishing drink

“Because then who will serve me drinks at my beck and call?”

His eyes shine with mirth as looks at Reggie while he takes another sip.

“You almost had me there. You’re a cheeky bastard, you know that? I should throw your ass out for that.” Reggie says while shaking his head amused.

“But you won’t because you’re too good. That’s exactly why the likes of myself don’t deserve you as friend Reg.”

“Heh, damn right. I only keep you around because you tip well.”

Ethan chuckles at the man in front of him.

“Never change, Reggie.”

“Wasn’t planning to buddy.”

The two men finish laughing when the shoosh of the door opens and a young African-American woman enters while calling over her shoulder before the door closes.

“I’m going to use the restroom and wait inside until the Lyft comes. Night everyone!”

Recognizing the voice speaking Ethan turns and sees Dr. Katrina Michaels. As she moves from the entrance and towards the back right of the bar to the restrooms his gaze follows and he retreats to his mind briefly.

“I haven’t quite figured out why but there’s something about the rookie that intrigues me.”

Reggie notices his friend is watching the woman from earlier and can already gather what could be the reason why. Being the good friend that he is Reggie decides to give his old pal a nudge in the right direction. So he taps Ethan on the shoulder to get his attention.

“Welp, I gotta clean up in the back. Keep an eye on the place for me. Especially the little lady, I’m leaving both in your capable hands.”

Ethan quirks an eyebrow at Reggie as he takes another swig and asks

“What are you getting at Reg?”

Reggie smirks to himself and shrugs his shoulders before he turns to leave Ethan alone and enters a side door near the shelves of alcohol. Ethan scoffs and continues to drink his glass of scotch enjoying the the burning sensations that slide down his throat. His thoughts lingers to earlier in the night when talking to Katrina.

“She definitely is different in the real world but on the hand not so much. I don't quite understand why this intern is different from the others. Other than proving herself capable so far but outside EdenBrook I notice that my thoughts have dawdle on her more trivial attributes. Such as her underlying fierceness or perhaps her vivaciousness. Well I suppose I can’t say I truly recognized these qualities more so I overlooked them, one such as her beauty. She truly is stunning. It makes me wonder why a woman like her spent time near me when the place was swarming with younger men. Especially asking if someone was waiting at home for me. It can’t be what I think… no I probably need to ease off the alcohol right now. Besides who would wait around for me anyway? Edie surely doesn’t anymore.”

As he sets his glass down back on the counter he hears a soft voice calling his name which removes him from his thoughts. Without turning around he says

“Hello again, rookie.”

“I’m surprised to see you still here Dr. Ramsey.” Katrina Michaels murmurs.

He turns to face the intern and replies

“I’m surprising in a lot of ways.”

She smiles and delicately places herself onto the stool that’s next to Ethan.

“You’ll have to prove that you know.”

Despite himself he smirks at her. His gunmetal blue eyes piercing into Katrina’s hazel ones. Their gazes seem to challenge yet captivate the other. There’s a comfortable yet tense air between the two until the smooth vocals of Otis Redding play from the jukebox.

“These arms of mine, they are lonely. Lonely and feeling blue. These arms of mine are yearning, yearning from wanting you...”

The song continues to play as Katrina speaks.

“You know he’s is one of my favorite artist. I used to...”

As she speaks Ethan watches the woman in front of him. He observes the way her eyes are lit up to how a rogue strand of her curly hair hangs, and even how in the dimly lit bar her smile radiates and contrasts with her beautiful coffee-hue complexion. He tries to listen to all she’s saying, now beginning to tell him about much of a fan she is. But he’s beginning to distract himself with his thoughts once more.

“Of course this song plays. Very convenient timing, I’d say. I bet Reggie had something to do with this. It’s been so long since I had someone. At this point other people would take anyone. But I could never at my stage in life. That’s why I’m here at almost one in the morning. I wonder why she’s here too, besides being young.”

Ethan breaks away from his mind to refocus back onto Katrina whose finishing up a compliment about his research.

“Katrina, may I ask you a question?”

“Of course, Dr. Ramsey.”

“First, outside of EdenBrook you may call me, Ethan.”

Katrina runs her hand through her hair before replying

“Are you sure, Dr. Ramsey?”

He rolls his eyes briefly before turning to look at his glass to take another sip of his scotch.

“Yes, rookie. You referring to me as doctor outside of the hospital makes me look a bit pretentious.”

“I think that’s your own doing, Dr. Ramsey.”

He pauses lifting his glass to meet his mouth in midair and turns to glare at her but it falters once he hears the bubbling of laughter escape her plump lips. He goes back to take a swig and places his glass back down gently.

“Sorry. I couldn’t pass that up...Ethan.”

“Now, was that really that difficult?”

“Not exactly, but it’s a bit strange. To be on first name basis with your idol.”

“I’m just a man, rookie. Not a celebrity or some god.”

Katrina turns her face away from Ethan and averts her eyes from his as she whispers

“Maybe, but you sure do have god-like looks.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t make out what you said?” curious of what she said.

“It’s not important. But you wanted to ask me something?”

“Yes I do. I happen to be thinking of what you asked me earlier in the night and wondered the same.”

“Is that so? Is there a reason why you liked to know?”

Her tone so playful with a hint of flirtation that he couldn’t decipher if he imagined it or not.

Instead of speaking he shrugs his shoulders in response.

Smiling to herself and looking down before meeting his eyes again.

“I’m just like you. No one awaiting my return.”

“Interesting.”

The fading music is more audible as the two stop speaking momentarily

“...I need somebody. Somebody to treat me right, oh. I need your arms. Loving arms to hold me tight. And I, I, I need your, I need your tender lips to hold me.”

A chime from Katrina’s cell phone breaks the silence before either one of them could.

“That’s my Lyft. It’s two minutes away so, I’m going to waiting outside.”

Ethan nods in understanding, she begins to remove herself from her seat, but still slightly tipsy she slips and falls into Ethan’s body who reacts immediately. He grasps firmly yet gently ahold of her, keeping her steady. Both freeze from the sudden contact and close parameters they are from the other.

Katrina can see Ethan’s adam’s apple bob up and down in his throat and he thinks to himself while staring at Katrina.

“I suddenly have the urge to gently brush the curls away from her beautiful eyes and...I need to stop this instant. It’s late and I am feeling a bit lonely but I’m beginning to enter a dangerous area. This would lead to an H.R. nightmare. I can’t let myself get tangled with the matters of the heart. Especially with my, ahem, the rookie. God, I need to lay off the sauce for a while.”

He’s pulled from his thoughts when Katrina removes herself from his arms.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it, rookie.”

“Is that going to be a permanent thing? Even outside of work?”

“What?”

“Rookie. I mean you’ve called me by my first name earlier tonight even when I thought you didn’t even know it, much less remember it nor care to.”

“I’ve told you. I’m observant...rookie. Does that answer your question?” He says smirking at her.

Rolling her eyes she moves to make her way to the exit.

“Yes it does. And you deny that you’re favoring me.”

“I’ll let you believe what you want. Even if it’s a silly notion.”

“Whatever you say, Dr. Ramsey” she purrs.

Ethan feels his heart rate increase briefly. Before he can respond, she speaks up.

“My ride should be here now. I’ll see you around Dr. Rams- I mean Ethan.”

She rubs her hand obsessively through her hair before giving him a quick wave as she inches closer to the door.

“For whatever reason my name leaving her lips sounds right. As the same for hers. Katrina. Ka-tri-na. I’d like to say it more than just in my...Okay enough. I must stick with calling her rookie. That’s what's...what’s safe.

Katrina opens the door which pulls Ethan out and he speaks for the final time

“Have a good night...Katrina. Get home safe.”

She stops at hearing her name being used and turns back around and grins wide at Ethan.

“You too.” she steps outside and calls back to Ethan.

“Maybe once I’ve graduated from rookie or you tire of it, you can call me Kat. Whichever comes first.”

Without another word or glance she walks out the door.

Ethan is left staring at the spot she was occupying before turning his attention back to his glass. He drains the rest of his drink and retreats into his thoughts.

“So much for playing it safe. Then again, what’s life without a few risks.”

#Dr. Ethan Ramsey #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #open heart choices #playchoices #choices fanfiction #choices stories you play #choices app #Open Heart

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hugsfromdad · 5 years

Text

Um... Well... THAT happened. holy shit. Let me tell you about my night. (Ya bisexual boi got his flirting mojo back but now idk what to do)

(This is a long story, but worth it. my theater crush comes in at the end fyi for those keeping up with me)

So, opening night of this play i've been working on just happened.

(Reminder: this is my first play ever)

And, it was beyond incredible. I had nothing to compare it to, but literally everyone was freaking out because of how good it apparently was.

....also apparently I was all everyone could talk about.

We had a theater critic there who was(is) gonna write us a review, and everyone was stressed about what he was gonna think (except me cause I had no idea if that was important. I guess it was)

WELL, I was pulled aside afterwards by both our director, and the mother of a cast member to tell me that not only did the critic love it, but he loved me. He said this was the best show he has ever seen at that theater...and he's directed shows there before! But I was being told that he loved me...so yeah, i really didn't know what to do with that but I guess it's really great

I have one of the 2 slow songs, and I have a riff near the end of mine. Well, I turned the riff into me holding a note for a long ass time. Like, the longest I've ever held a note. And then, to top it off, I hit a really high note at the very end.

Everyone fucking loved it. They positively freaked out and it was, again, so overwhelming. I didnt know what to do with it or how to react.

After the show, the cast and their families, friends, and as much of the audience who wanted, went to a restaurant/pub down the road that was staying open late soley for us. Dude, there was a big crowd.

I had been talking to my director with my mother right after the show and before we went over, and he could not shut up about people's reaction to me. It was overwhelming. He kept telling me about all these important people who had loved me and wanted to know about me and were freaking out when he told them it was my first show. A couple other cast memebers also came over and were talking with us and my mum and they kept complimenting and praising me and I genuinely didnt know what to do with it.

So we go to the pub and I start to like hang out and then--

Girls

talking to me.

People

wanting to hang with me and laughing at everything I had to say.

Backing up for a sec; at the absolute beginning of this whole play process at auditions, there was a cast member I noticed as very attractive and i had my eye on. She's probably older than my parents, but a ridiculously gorgeous woman, and high soprano.

Well, she was glued to me for some reason. After I walked in and had been there for a minute talking with my family, she comes over and we started talking. ....and kept talking. Like, this was the most i had ever talked with her this entire thing, and she was just sipping her single glass of wine and talking and laughing with me. I was genuinely confused as to whether she was just proud of me, her motherly instincts had kicked in, or if there was something else cause uh... I wish I could describe her eyes when she looked at me.

OH, also I should mention that when she decided to leave, she pulls me into this long, tight hug, and then fucking tucks her head in and kisses me quite gently on the cheek. I genuinely was stunned because we had maybe hugged like... once(?) before when she was nervous and cold.

Oh, and speaking of cold/clothes, i should mention that I was wearing... a really good outfit. I had planned it out so i would look really good cause I play a nerd in the show and i wanted to counteract that. Well, i did. I'll post a picture of it later if i remember. But specifically once I took my jacket off, my short sleeves were rolled up (queer eye would be proud) and all of my tattoos were showing.

And oh my god,

did people love them.

I had people touching my arms, asking what they meant, mentioning that they had been wondering about my tattoos all night cause they had seen a glimpse of them at the beginning of the show when i wore a t-shirt for like one song.

Dude, it was insane.

So there was this other girl who had some incredible silver shoes there and this chick was flirrrrting. She was(is) so fucking cool. Like, her makeup was WILD and jeffree star would have been proud-- like glitter eyeshadow type proud. And she was like talking and laughing with me, then hanging with her friends and playing shuffle board-- but coming back to me to tell me about it. It was kinda overwhelming. By the end of the night, she comes up to me and like asks for my info and like says she wants to be in a play with me and we should be friends and all that. She then texted me right after too 🙈

There was also the drummer's girlfriend who, holy fucking shit she absolutely is stunning and slays life and just.. I cant. She's so cool and gorgeous and confident and wow. And she and i wound up talking and laughing and joking for quite a bit as well. I sweear, i don't get how her eyes exist, cause she would look at me and it was like with beautifully cunning and see right through you type of look..and yet full of amusement. Like she was ready and waiting to enjoy what i had to say. Crazy. But she and I hung for quite awhile. She'll be here today at this performance too and she told me that she is expecting me to have a different meaning behind my tattoos when she asks about then tonight.

There were some more friends of our cast members who were like talking with me and touching my arms and grabbing my hand. one woman even fucking took my hand and kissed it. I swear. Woah. It was so overwhelming. Everyone was just telling me how blown away they were and that i have to have to have to keep acting. I guess word might have gotten out that i was unsure whether i wanted to do more acting or not... People were literally begging me to do another play. My director literally is begging me to do another one... Like begging. You shoulda seen his eyes.

OH. speaking of guys, there was this beautiful young man who came up to me and was like telling me how much he loved my performance and was just blown away. Well, apparently this kid is like super critical and very talented and trained with vocals and he could not get over me. He was(is) definitely not straight and i honestly was enjoying him way too much. My cast member who was still with me at that point said to me afterwards that praise from him is rare and really has weight. So, yay lol

(I will admit that as overwhelmed as I was with all of the praise, I was handling the flirting well. I will admit to that. My instincts kicked in and i was flirting and being smooth. I couldnt help it.)

AND. now, for my final person who I have been holding out talking about-- my gorgeous cast member who has the deep voice and cuddles me for part of the play...

Dear lord. Her eyes on me. I really wanted to stop breathing. At the end of the night she and our director, the drummers girlfriend, my friend Kai (holy shit he's beautiful and he came all this way just to see my performance and he met my dad and god I love him but that's another post) and my mum and I were all hanging out. At one point, I was looking at and talking to our director. And then, I felt her eyes on me. Like, she was standing right next to me, but i FELT her eyes on me.

And oh my god, like what the fucking hell, I snuck and glance and i wonder if it was the alcohol, but her eyes are like glowing and filled with like... I don't even know. Like the biggest joy and adoring look I've ever seen. I forced myself to not make eye contact anymore just because what I could see of here eyes out of the corner of mine was making me slightly dizzy.

She put arms around me multiple times that night and when it was time to leave, she comes over, gives me this look I cant quite make sense of, and then grabs my face and kisses my cheek. Like, just suddenly. In front of my mom. And it was like a kiss that threw me way off holy shit cause I've never really gotten cheek kisses from people. But wow. This was one.

I swear my head was spinning and I did not know what to do with it all. Not just her, but everyone else too. However, when I'm driving home and talking with my little brother (dear god he's amazing. It was 1am and he was just letting me have my night. I fucking am so grateful for him) I mentioned the people flirting with me and HE GOES "oh my gosh, especially [her name]."

I kind of try to not react, but he said it like mutliple times as we drove "oh she was flirting. How she was looking at you...oh yeah." And I kind of just silently died the entire time.

Okay. So that's it. My very bisexual adventure. It's been a long time since one of those have happened. Sorry for the long read, but i needed to get it all out somewhere. I have another performance tonight and then on Sunday. And then 3 next weekend. So, expect more to happen.

I have no fucking idea how this is all gonna wind up, but I did NOT and was NOT expecting or ready for last night. I really wasnt. I really didn't. I still cant believe it. Idk what I'm gonna do.

Dear god.

#my gay adventures #my bisexual adventures #idk what the hell just happened

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beatricebidelaire · 5 years

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just for tonight (let me pretend)

pairing: Kit Snicket / Beatrice Baudelaire

summary: Kit and Beatrice share a dance at a masked ball.

word count: ~1.1k

alt: ao3

Beatrice and Bertrand were talking by the bar while Larry prepared the drinks, and Kit looked on from a distance. The place was loud with music and everyone dancing to it, and it was hard to hear what they were saying. Fortunately, Kit was still able to make out the gist of their conversation from the way Beatrice’s lips moved. Beatrice-lip-reading was actually quite easy to learn, if you spent a little time studying those lips while she talked. Or sang in the opera, of course. Beatrice sometimes talked a lot and also sang fairly often, so it made it an even easier task.

She was talking about a letter from Lemony and how she planned to respond to it. She started reciting a sonnet. Kit wondered if Lemony knew how lucky he was, but then thought he must do, the way he talked about her. But he probably didn’t know how lucky he was in the aspect that he didn’t have to hide and could just talk about this freely.

He had no idea, and she would never tell him about it, ever. Jacques was a more interesting case, probably. They never talked about this subject either, but sometimes they didn’t need to talk about things to understand each other. Sometimes she felt they had some kind of unspoken mutual agreement of list of things to avoid talking about. Plus, Jacques was also extremely close to certain people who Kit was sure knew, and any of them might’ve told him.

Larry handed Beatrice a drink, and of course it was root beer float, because what else could it be? Kit closed her eyes, trying to force her feelings down, and found she couldn’t. She needed a distraction of something, fast. Perhaps she could use a drink herself, definitely not a root beer float, though. When she walked over to the bar, though, complaining this to someone who might understand sounded like a tempting idea too. “Dance with me,” she demanded at Bertrand.

He looked back at her, almost expressionless. He didn’t cast any sideways glance at Beatrice or anything, but she felt she could still hear what he was thinking, could sense the wheels spinning inside his brain. “No,” he rejected, flatly, and Kit wasn’t surprised. She was, however, a little annoyed, and wanted to tell him not to interfere. It was probably too late.

Beatrice, on the other hand, seemed slightly surprised. “That’s rude,” she admonished with a frown, then said immediately. “Dance with me, K. Don’t mind him.” She took Beatrice’s hand, pulling her towards the dance floor before Kit could turn back to glare at Bertrand.

“I like your choice of outfit for the masked ball,” Beatrice said, looking at Kit approvingly while guiding their moves as they reached the dance floor.

“I …. didn’t particularly dress for it?” Kit asked, perplexed. Surely Beatrice, queen of disguises and an actress who frequented the stage often, of all people, could see that.

“Exactly,” she nodded, serious and sincere. “That’s a rather bold move, I think. Not everyone has the courage to choose to do so. It’s a statement, especially amongst everyone wearing similarly styled masks and dresses and suits trying to blend in. I admire that.”

Kit blinked, not having expected that. Beatrice liked extravagant stuff, didn’t she? It felt odd to be complimented by Beatrice in this aspect. Nice, but odd. Made Kit feel a little lightheaded. “Not everyone’s in similar styled masks and dresses and suits trying to blend in,” she managed, her gaze landing on Beatrice’s dragonfly wings.

Beatrice beamed, looking delighted. It was amazing how radiant someone could look just by smiling wide. Positively unreal. “I know! This dragonfly outfit is amazing, isn’t it? One of a kind, really.”

“Yeah,” Kit agreed, feeling herself grin back at Beatrice, like some kind of reflect her body just decided to do without her brain deciding on it first. Did these dragonfly wings have magic abilities? Sounded plausible. “Truly one of a kind.” She almost added “you are” at the end, but stopped herself in time. They were talking about the wings, weren’t they? Stay focused, Snicket, she told herself.

Beatrice laughed, then gave Kit a twirl. The scenes of other people dancing flashed past for a quick second, and then Beatrice’s back in the view again, looking right into Kit’s eyes. Obviously Kit had looked at Beatrice’s eyes many times before, but she didn’t think they’d ever been in this close proximity. It felt too close, too intimate, too direct. It was exciting, but also a little frightening if she were to be honest.

It felt like just a few seconds, and it felt like a whole night, and then Beatrice twirled her again as the same tunes came up again. Kit let herself enjoy the speed of the spin, and Beatrice’s firm hold on her hand. It was a nice combination, she decided. Top quality.

They danced past Monty and Gustav and the snake resting on Monty’s shoulders. Beatrice, with her natural affinity for animals, stopped to say hello to the snake, and let it take it climb onto her wings before climbing back onto Monty. Kit’s eyes followed the snake’s path cautiously, even though both Monty and Gustav assured her that the snake was in fact very friendly and not all lethal.

The snake climbed back onto Monty’s shoulders, and Kit and Beatrice continued dancing. A fast song came up, and they sped up their moves accordingly. Beatrice kept changing the directions they were moving towards, completed with sudden sharp turns and dramatic stops and immediate spinning again.

It was even better than a taxi drive in the city, and Kit let herself just immerse in all this for a moment. Just tonight, she told herself. She could pretend that every moment tonight was an eternity. Every touch, every smile, every detail on Beatrice’s face.

Just tonight.

Tomorrow, she would go back remembering that Beatrice was someone she could never have.

Just tonight.

She was going to enjoy the figurative light that seemed to be radiating out of Beatrice, or perhaps she should call it literal, because the dragonfly dress had small light bulbs on it. Truly one of a kind, just like the person wearing it.

Beatrice dipped Kit, and Kit thought that it was really strong of her to be able to dip Kit while wearing the who-knew-how-heavy wings. But then again, everyone always knew Beatrice was the strongest out of them all.

Beatrice’s face was dangerously close again, her facial features clear in Kit’s eyes, especially those lips. Kit let imagination run wild. Just tonight.

The song ended, and Beatrice pulled Kit back up again. Kit felt slightly disoriented as she stood up on her feet again, but it was probably just because of the pose moments ago.

“This is fun,” Beatrice declared grandly.

Kit smiled weakly at her. “Yeah,” she agreed.

Just tonight.

#asoue #kit snicket #beatrice baudelaire #kitrice #otp: best friends to maybe we'll be lovers in another life #oneshot #mine #stuff i write #asoue femslash

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dangkinronpa · 7 years

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headcanons for komaeda who took maizono to prom

heres ur headcanons komaeda! i hope u like them, and if u want me to make any changes just remember to let me know! - mod kiibo

- the weeks before prom were always stressful, especially when it came to finding dates, rides, clothes, and everything else that could possibly be involved. komaeda was especially worried about asking somebody to go to prom with him, because he was fairly sure that the person he wanted to go with would end up rejecting him for someone else

- komaeda spent ages preparing himself to ask maizono to prom, and he made sure that he would be alright if he ended up getting rejected. maizono was an idol, after all, so he wouldnt have been surprised in the slightest if she said no. despite all his preparations, though, komaeda didnt have a clue what to do when maizono accepted his date

- from the second that komaeda asked maizono to date him all the way until prom came, there was a lot of time spent with komaeda and maizono simply planning out everything that they possibly could before prom. maizono wanted her prom experience to be as perfect as possible, and komaeda was willing to help her make prom great

- when prom finally rolled around, maizono and komaeda went wearing matching outfits. it was maizonos idea, so that meant that the two of them were wearing blue, and maizonos dress was also pretty fluffy. komaeda didnt particularly care about what he wore, so he let maizono be the one to guide them when it came to picking outfits

- any time that komaeda and maizono took prom pictures, komaeda was pretty sure that he ruined them, and he had a pretty hard time looking at them afterward because he would point out how awkward he thought that he looked. maizono, on the other hand, would just tell komaeda that he looked fine and that he shouldnt worry so much

- although taking pictures was a bit awkward, komaeda actually really enjoyed getting a chance to dance with maizono. she was much better at dancing than he was, so she taught him a lot of the moves that she would perform on stage, which was pretty exciting for komaeda. he really admired being able to watch her dance in person

- the awkwardness komaeda felt might have passed a bit when they were dancing to faster songs, but once things started to slow down a bit, it started to get a little more awkward. komaeda just wasnt sure how to deal with the weird butterflies that were in his stomach or the shakiness in his hands, but he was doing the best he could to dance with her

- komaeda and maizono might have decided to eat once prom was over, but that didnt stop the two of them from eating some of the food that was already there. it wasnt like u got to go to prom everyday, after all, so komaeda felt that it would probably be good to indulge in pretty much everything that he could, even if it was as trivial as food

- throughout the entire night, komaeda just couldnt help but compliment maizono on pretty much everything, from her hair and makeup to her grace when it came to dancing (or simply walking!). there were so many things he admired about her, he just couldnt help but give her a few compliments, which actually ended up being at least twenty compliments

- at the end of prom, komaeda could definitely see why so many people consider it a night to remember: there were so many good times that he had, he knew that he would probably never forget that night. even if he didnt get a chance to go to any other dance, he was pretty sure that he would be satisfied having a good prom night with maizono by his side

#nagito komaeda kin #komaeda nagito kin #dangan ronpa kin #sdr2 kin #super dangan ronpa 2 kin #dangan ronpa #sdr2 #super dangan ronpa 2 #sayaka maizono #maizono sayaka #headcanons #long post #fun fact: i never went to prom

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survivorelsalvador · 7 years

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Richie’s Jury Responses

austin: austin: Okay austin here’s the TEA! Your vote out wasn’t random, it definitely wasn’t because you’re new, and there was a lot of thought and logic and reasoning put into it….. At the one premerge tribal we went to me you ashton lily formed a group and we were trying to decide who to vote out and you expressed disinterest in voting out dana which is cool you said you liked her and that was it because willa got evaced

At the merge boot it looked like it was going to be a 5-5 vote with nicholas/zak/willow/dana/josh voting out ashton and then me/you/chips/lily/ashton voting out josh +kai doing whatever kai was going to do lmao

Veryyyy shortly before the vote lily came to me and said [6/30/17, 9:41:28 PM] Lily Douma: Austin is throwing us under the bus... [6/30/17, 9:41:34 PM] Lily Douma: Told Dana I'm voting for josh

So based on my perception and the information i had been collecting it seemed like you had a relationship with dana and your loyalty to me and “our side” was in question and if 20 minutes before the vote i’m told that youre going to people we weren’t working with and telling them our plan then it would make sense that youre not with us and youre not going to vote with us so a 6-4 vote with me being in the minority was possible and looking more and more realistic.. At that point i knew that i needed to play the idol to save ashton and my reasoning behind voting you out was because all signs were pointing to you were not with me so if you stayed in the game you would not only be a number for the other side but you would be someone who had previously been working with us and had receipts and information that could be used against me so taking you out right then would be smarter so at the last minute i chose what i thought was the most logical game move………….. When the votes were read i saw that you did in fact vote josh out and i had a mini panic attack lmao but yeah there was definitely reasoning behind it i thought you were playing both sides and your actions were making me perceive that you werent committed to working with us so thats why you left… i’m not saying this with any tone btw im not bragging about this being a good move or anything i’m just answering the “why” so that you have the closure and understanding on what was going on in my mind and what went down that lead to you getting voted out

Okay so I know that this was your first tumblr survivor game and im sorry that it ended so abruptly and came so out of nowhere you did deserve better i hope that this experience doesnt spoil your view on tumblr survivor orgs and i know that you need to keep up with wearing your retainers because its important to keep your teeth in tact so that all the money you spent on braces doesnt go to waste learn from my mistakes!!!!!

Josh:

Austin: charlie brown bc nice and genuine but in this game you got shitted on it was very much the defeated womp womp charlie brown

Josh: Finn from adventure time, knows how to kick ass but still likes to have fun Willow: Rory Gilmore, really nice and smart but more complex of a human than that Zak: tbh anyone from it’s always sunny in philadelphia bc youre hilarious and messy and crackedt but somehow still loveable even though theres no real reason for you to be <3 Nicholas: leslie knope i feel like youre super involved in the org community and youre passionate and a little crazy but still fun loving Dana: Annalise Keating from how to get away with murder, bad ass who will say and do anything to get her way and looks great doing it Lily: this was the easiest one for me the second i read your question this was the first one to pop in my head okay if you’re young you might not get this reference but watch this iconic character in tv history sweet kind adorable but watch out when she’s mad lmao https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsBN9lvmjac

Willow: Hey, Willow! Whatsup? I loved you in one world, but when we got to merge we ended up on opposite sides and during the early stages of merge i tried to keep my distance so that i would avoid being overly deceitful which would likely lead to more bitter feelings of personal betrayal should i make it to the finals. Everything I did in this game was calculated and fueled by logic and reasoning based on my perception, but that doesn’t mean that I played a flaw free perfect game, I’m definitely a self aware bitch and I know that I can be a little cracked’t. Obviously everything worked out to the point where I got to the final 3 so I can’t say that I would do anything differently, however to answer your question, I would say that my biggest mistake would have to be the timing of voting out Austin. There were many things that lead me to making the decision to take him out at that moment in the game, but when the votes were read and I saw that despite all the red flags, he had voted the way he told us he was going to. Okay, now to answer your general questions! This isn’t a good jury favor pageant answer but tbh my favorite part of this game was making the movie poster, I love being creative and storytelling so I just had such a fun time making that. If I were in the jury, so that would make this a final 2 of Chips and Ashton? Right? Is that what you meant? You can’t answer me right now this is a one way conversation I’m having with myself…. But in a f2 of Chips and Ashton, I would vote for Chips. If I weren’t here and I had to pick only one person to be in the finals, I would choose Dana because I think she played one hell of a game. A minor move of mine was during the premerge one world stage. I made sure to try to make somewhat of an impression of people not on my tribe, like Zak Willow Nicholas and Josh, by having at least one brief conversation that coming at merge we wouldn’t be complete strangers, but not too much that I came off as a strong social threat. Okay, I think that I answered all your questions, I hope I did and I hope that my punctuation usage made this easier for you to read because I’ve gotten so many complaints about this before, I type like I think and speak which is just one nonstop cracked rambling with absolutely no structure asdfdsfhjasdfj i tried really hard for you lmao

Zakriah: ICONIC QUESTION kelly wiglesworth 1-10 jury question teas wow…. Okay 3 genuine compliments about you 1) i’m a self centered narcissistic bitch and i think i’m hilarious BUT when we shared the title for best sense of humor in touchy subjects i was like okay true he’s worthy i’m not mad about that 2) this is like our 5th game together but realistically our second game where we’ve interacted and it’s easy to see that youre a well rounded player who knows how to integrate yourself with people you display game sense and ability without coming off as a big threat that needs to be targeted 3) i literally can never tell if you actually hate me or if we’re friends or enemies or frenemies but despite that i still really like you and want to be your friend even if you hate me and idk why so good job on misting me i guess????

nicholas: Kiiiiiiiiiiiing i cant believe youre making me have to chooose ahhhhhh i mean theres just so many for so many different occasions but wow okay i think nothing has ever been as iconic as this http://68.media.tumblr.com/2da6f1baef40ca34d8d800938ba6e940/tumblr_of3p98IyeO1vzwwmeo4_250.gif

dana: Dana queen legendary icon the night you left i knew you were leaving (despite the valiant effort you put into trying to get me and ashton to vote with you and you almost had ashton so thanks for making me put in just that much more work to talk him down from it) but at that point out of respect for you and your game i just was like straight up ill be real with you because you deserve it… and because i knew you were leaving so building you up a little before you go to jury couldnt have hurt ;) BUT FOR REAL the things you did in this game left me shook over and over and over the way you speak and your ability to lay out valid strategic arguments that make it seem like they dont even benefit you its just all about the person youre talking to’s best interest…. Incredible and mesmerizing i LIVE for a binch that doesnt quit and your stamina and determination is truly incredible and ill say all this to you after the game and forever so dont think this is pandering because youve earned your Bad Ass badge for life

lily: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry <3

#ididntconsent

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jess-oh · 7 years

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Reflection

it is 3:40am but i thought it would be important to write a reflection.

i have a lot on my mind. i was feeling pretty depressed earlier bc i realized that i became the type of person that i hate. people who gossip to make themselves feel better bc they’re too afraid to actually say anything.

and i hate that. i told joyce a white lie. i talked smack behind tess’ back and didnt confront her when i had the chance. because it was easier. because she couldnt get mad at me for saying things that she didnt know. and thats so fucked up. and i really dont want to do that.

work was fine and i talked to willow and michaela in the south crib for the majority of the time and tess worked by herself in the front. and sometimes she came to the back bc she felt lonely and i would just brush it off and ask, “do you need something?” and when she would say no, i would tell her to go man the front. and that was pretty shitty of me to do. shes just trying to fit in and i have no right to degrade her or look down on her for that. yes, there are things that i need to talk to her about. she shouldnt prioritize cleaning the crib when we have customers. she shouldnt get my attention when she knows im busy. she shouldnt look down on others just bc they have less knowledge regarding woodshop equipment than her. we’ve been at this job longer and she needs to respect that. i get that shes older than me in age but in terms of work experience, i have the upperhand. and she cant just completely disregard that. thats messed up too.

but after work when angel, willow, and i were on our way out together, it was just so easy to be accepted into their group and look down on her and talk smack and while i didnt contribute to the conversation that much, i was tempted to go off on her. and i hate that. why would i want to do that?

i was already not in a great mood when i met Chelsea earlier but i do think it was nice that we got the chance to really just talk one on one. even if it awkward, it’s progress. Life group was pretty good too. James got us Popeye’s chicken and i was so happy ; v ; IT WAS SO GOOD.

but, im on better terms with angela now and i tried to be open with her. i think it’s hard bc she and angela are both really quick to judge and their compliments feel forced at times and not genuine. they tried to give me words of encouragement but honestly, it didnt really help. i was super nervous when i first talked to chelsea but i felt better while at life group. we actually talked on the way back instead of traveling together in silence. she’s a walking meme and im a lot more outgoing and starting to be spontaneous. but one thing that did stick out to me was when angela mentioned how she thinks one of my gifts is evangelism. which i did not expect to hear at all. she said that a lot of people were shocked that i brought a friend to church, someone who isnt Christian. and how im soft spoken and have a way with talking to people. which was a pretty interesting perception bc others see me as extremely aggressive and outgoing. and i honestly dont think it’s a mask. it just depends on my mood. but in general, im more than happy to meet new people. but sometimes, i just have a lot going on and on my mind and i dont always want to dedicate the time and energy to others. and i do want to push myself to do better but i still need to find that balance of both.

after that, i went to the sky lounge and hung out with jay, sharlene, and joyce briefly. jay and sharlene ended up leaving and i was supposed to east kbbq with dana and mulan and i really wanted to but i felt bad leaving joyce all alone. i didnt want to and i know what it’s like to be in her shoes. so i had fun with them all but returned to joyce shortly after and worked on homework with her. and when she was ready to leave, i happened to be finishing up my assignment and departed soon after, back to mulan and everyone. i did tell joyce that i would be returning to my room though and i felt bad for lying but i didnt want to tell her to her face that i just would rather hangout with them than her. bc i know how much that hurts and stings and how long joyce’s self esteem already is and i didnt want to make her feel any worse than she already does.

but i did have a lot of fun with dana and everyone. we sang our hearts out to old songs, disney princess movies, dear evan hansen, and so much more. and it was fun to just let go and yell and sing at the top of my lungs without fear of judgment. and it wasnt me trying to fit in, i was genuinely having a lot of fun.

and im taking dana to church on sunday again bc she wants to go and ive brought up other opportunities to get involved but im also trying not to overwhelm her but going all in. i think just sundays are okay for now and i do really hope that she can find a good community within lakeview. and i hope i can find it too. and i hope we can change into an accepting, open ministry that loves to pray and intimately worship and really cry out to God.

God, I really miss praying so passionately to you. It used to come so naturally but it’s been a while now and I’m definitely starting to struggle. But I do want to get back in it. And i know that that’s so easy to say with words but I mean it. I do want to. And I know I could blame not doing it on time or work or anything else but those are really just all excuses. I do genuinely want to pray for others and invest into them. I don’t know if I’m actually gifted with evangelism. But I do know that I have the gift of compassion because I care so deeply for those around me and their well being. It’s not about me. it’s about them and what I can do to serve them.

At life group, Angela mentioned to myself and Emily about how leadership for the second semester is coming up and how we should tell her if we’re interested. And honestly, I am. I am in a lot better of place now than I was last year and I’m happy with it. But I know that I am still struggling and it isn’t perfect but I do crave serving again. And I feel as if I’ve rested for far too long. Because I do want to get back out there and love and serve and really have an open heart that’s just so willing and so compassionate and full of joy and hope for the Lord. I just don’t know if I can yet. Do you want me to do this, God? Am I just afraid or is this a sign, encouraging me to go for it? I know I’ll never be perfect but I do want to do this. I do. Even if it means not being able to serve on e-board for ASO. As much as I want to do that too. I do want to invest into Lakeview and I know that it is a place that you have called me to. And I don’t doubt that one bit. I know I fell off the wagon recently but I do want to get back out there and really build relationships with you and them. I do.

And finally, I was going to mention something about Andrew but I don’t remember anymore. But I did imagine a scenario where someone, a new girlfriend perhaps, calls him out on his sexist, selfish behavior and he tries to use the fact that im a close female friend but never said anything as a justification. and then he realizes how we’ve actually been growing apart and wonders if she’s right. and i would have to confess that she is.

oh! i remember! i’m not a priority for him. which i understand bc it’s a lot easier to prioritize people you can actually meet up with in person. but i feel like our skype calls and even just chatting via facebook, they arent all that important to him. it’s more of a convenience thing. and i guess that we dont have to talk all the time and we just both mutually know that we’ll be there for each other when needed. it’s just tough, i guess. bc i do want to be prioritized and i do want him to hold up on plans and promises that he made with me first. and i could just be pinning the blame on him through this trying time as marlena leaves columbia and i go out to seek a new person to be vulnerable with. but... idk. im honestly not sure. it’s just hard i guess.

#reflection

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pninaharchive · 7 years

Note

Just one number? What if you answered them all? It will take a while, but time is just an illusion.

LMAO luv a challenge thank u 💐 read more bc it got long obviously

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

ahh okay well i think about who i am as a person and whether im good or bad and recently in my reflections i realized that i have control issues?? and how to work with that is confusing to me but

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

no lol

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

no unless it was interfering with our relationship somehow?

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?

yes and no?? i dont really trust a lot of people but im very optimistic and idealistic and so i never assume the worst of people. like if someone lied to me i prob wouldnt assume so unless it was glaringly obvious

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?

sleeping lmao

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

this would never happen in my life oh my god i plan too much to not have a dd and a charged phone w access to a gps

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

break up w the person and prob not talk to them again

8: Are you close with your dad?

no i dont talk to him

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

i havent kissed anyone since 8th grade

10: What are you listening to?

currently im watching ink master in the background but in terms of music ive been playing big thief’s masterpiece and diiv’s is the is are

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

water lmao

12: Do you like hickeys?

ive never had one so idk for sure but the idea of it isnt super appealing to me

13: What time do you go to bed?

anywhere between like 11 pm to????? 3 am but usually closer to 11 bc i cant sleep in

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

every man in my life

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

no not at all im so bad at 1 handed texting

16: Do you always answer your texts?

no LMAO unless its my mom or abby

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

i dont know that ive ever fallen before

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

an hour ago

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

abby and angel and my bunny

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

i dont remember i think i was thinking about tattoos

21: Is anyone else in the room with you?

my brother

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?

no there are plenty of shitty people who are doing just fine

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

noooooo way

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

no im kinda fine with the people i choose not to speak to

25: In the past week, have you cried?

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

black

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?

my last name is 9 letters long absolutely not

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?

29: Do you have a best friend?

ya abby lmao love that bitch

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

no. see #9

31: Who was your last call/text message from?

angel

32: Are you mad at anyone?

always

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

see #30

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

see #33. probably 19 or 20 idk

35: How many more days until your birthday?

345

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?

yes!!! im going to maine with my mom and her gf and abby soon and me and abby are gonna tear it up the rest of the summer.

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

i have no male friends currently

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

never

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

i dont think so

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

yes lmao see #34

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?

absolutely especially when either of the people is below 20 or so

42: Are you available?

emotionally, romantically, and sexually yes

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

i feel like i feel strongly for most people i meet im not really a casual person

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

i kind of want to get my other nostril pierced??? other than that i think medusa piercings are really pretty

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?

if both of the people are emotionally mature enough definitely

46: Do you regret anything?

most things

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

um ive been thinking abt my chronic illness lol bc i dont think im actively bleeding internally anymore but wondering how much blood ive lost bc ive been really exhausted and i think it might be anemia

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?

every one except the ones i currently have

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?

yes like see #40

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

i dont like anyone currently i wish i did

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

no oh my god see #49

53: What was the last thing you ate?

i just had some pasta

54: Did you get any compliments today?

i think someone said they liked my shoes

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?

maine!!!

56: Do you own anything from other countries?

probably but i couldnt tell u for sure my dude

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?

girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life?

rhode island

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?

sunday

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

no has anybody

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

no has anybody

62: Who do you text the most?

abby i guess?? i dont really text that much

63: What was the last movie you saw?

i watched young frankenstein but ive seen that before

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

dont have a gf

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

none lmao i was in like 7th grade

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

idfk see #52

67: Do you curse around your parents?

yeah

68: Are you happy with where you live?

not really i wish i was on my own in like europe or some shit

69: Picture of yourself?

check out my insta boiii

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

i think it depends on the other person?? i could be open to either i think

71: Have you ever been dumped?

72: What do you most like about making out?

passion

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

lets play a game called how many ways can i say im a virgin

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

i feel like this set of questions has something against me

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

i like!! tummies and legs

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

my mom probably

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

gOD

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

aoidsfkfkl

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

ummmmmmmm honest compliments and affection

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

probably not right now bc im not ready or interested in kids but maybe someday

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

a couple people

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

not usually but i havent had a crush in a long time

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?

what the fuck

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?

prom last year

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

olive is my boo

86: How can I win your heart?

ugghgh idk openness and honesty, passion, similar interests, buying me flowers

87: What is your astrological sign?

gemini!!

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

sleeping

89: Do you cook?

yes i love cooking!!

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

yes im such a fucking romantic

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

i think im a monogamous person but im?? also really flexible depending on the other person

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

idk im not picky ugh just

cute

94: Name four things that you wish you had!

a new laptop and purse, money, cute gf

95: Are you a player?

no im a pussy and also i love women

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

no god

97: Are you a tease?

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

yes

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

yes omg definitely

101: Hugs or Kisses?

kisses!!!!

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?

absolutely

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

gross

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

only if im interested in them tbh

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

no this hypothetical person sounds like a dick

106: Do you flirt a lot?

107: Your last kiss?

see #66

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

no its like every question is about kissing

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

asdfghj

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

barbie ferreira :((((((((((

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

no that would be too convenient

112: Does someone like you currently?

not that i know of

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

nope

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

serious relationships

115: Ever made out with just a friend?

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?

who could say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#answered #this took so long im so sleepy #Anonymous

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