#noone deserves to disappear etc etc

[lotusmi]

Unconditional Thinking

📚PART 23: Unconditional Thinking

read more of my summaries | full post on reddit

⬸ [go to PART 22 "The Dreamer" ]

To truly grasp the freedom that is attainable within you, you must understand the concept of States. A State is a belief about the yourself or what you believe you will experience, an attitude towards life.

Imagination is NOT a State. Imagination is the Real Self, which I call the Inner Self. The Inner Self can be and have what he wishes in the World Of Imagination. It cannot be stressed enough that you, the Inner Self, is NOT a State. Forget this garment and the outer-world when you meditate and assume that the World of Imagination is the Only Reality and you (Inner Self) yourself are the God in that World.

Once this change in Self Identification is made, you will discover that within your mind is room filled with clay statues. These clay statues are of yourself performing certain actions, receiving certain treatment and having certain things. There are infinite statues (states) that lie dormant within you. They do not disappear, for nothing can disappear in Imagination. They simply lie in the shadows of the room (Mind). You give life to these statues (states) by feeling yourself to be one with it. Not as something you will be in the near future, but something you are now. The acceptance that you are the State now, is what brings life to these dormant statues.

If entering into a New State within you is challenging it is because you have not accepted who you are within. You are not a State, but is God. As God within, whose permission are you asking for? To whom do you answer to? If there is only One Being within you, then who can stop you?

Just as though there is death and life in this outer-world, there is death and life in the World of Imagination, however YOU are Death and the Life. To navigate in the World Of Imagination successfully, it requires death entirely to what current State you are fused with. Death is the only way to bring life to a New State.

This is what I mean by Death. If you wish to rise as something New in Imagination, you have to give up entirely your currently thoughts/feelings, questions, worries, what you think of the world, what you think is possible, if you think you are worthy or not, if you deserve the New State etc. These belong to the Old State and cannot be brought with you into the NOW. The have to be entirely discarded. Now listen to the words of Neville in the lecture "Repentance Is A Gift From God":

"But grant me the freedom to change it (my state)– don’t leave me in the state if I desire to get out of it. Yet many a person wallows in it, and wallows in it morning, noon, and night, and they are totally unaware they are doing it. They will say, “Oh, yes,” and then five seconds later they are back in that state (Old Man). I have had interviews with people who will say to me, “This is what I would like, but I must first tell you . . . .” Don’t tell me anything! Tell me what you want – they are only states! They insist on wallowing in all the things of the past." - Neville

"Don't tell me anything!" That is the secret. Total self-abandonment to the current State is the way to bring life towards the New State.

So before you assume a New State, understand who is the one doing the Assuming! The Inner Self, who is God is the one, the I AM that precedes the State. The I AM is the God in the World Of Imagination, and this life is the expression of the I AM. Man cannot even be a living being unless God fuses with him and states, "I AM a man." There is only God in this World.

So again, Imagination, the Inner Self is not a State! Repeat this over and over until you understand what I am saying. Understanding this is the difference between shaming yourself and rising anew. Between punishment and forgiveness. Between being stuck and freedom in the Mind.

You have to die to what you do not want to express entirely, a true act of surrender. You can do it.

Practice this art everyday on others in your world. Imagine the very best for your neighbor. See them glowing, radiant. Do not put any condition upon it. Just see them that way without and justification or reason. A true, loving, unconditional act. Doing this for others, will make it easier to do it to oneself. So leave the world alone and go within and die to what you want to stop expressing and allow yourself to be what you want. Imagination is the evidence you are seeking for it is the only reality.

I call this way of thinking, "Unconditional Thinking." You may say, "but.. I once did this or that, or I was abused in my past, I am afraid of my future etc." All understandable but what do you want? You want freedom? You want peace in your body? You want love? You want to stop fearing life? It's counterpart exists within you only that is it dormant. You may have all the reasons in the world for why you feel you must stay in the State of being unloved. But I tell you, if you want to be loved, you do not have to hold onto the feelings of being unloved anymore. You do not have to reason your way into being loved. There are no physical acts you must do first in order to accept the new State! It can be given unconditionally for Imagination does not hold it against you, for it is only a State, and you are not a State. The Imagination is forgiving because thought/feeling is what is creating your world and Imagination does not restrict you from any thought/feeling regardless of your reasons. Unconditionally become what you want to be in Imagination.

I want to see how the Imagination is your savior if you allow yourself to assume the best for yourself:

"He holds success in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless." - Proverbs 2:7

The "He" is your Imagination. If you assume you are blameless, your Imagination (Reality) will become a shield for you. Who can punish a man who is blameless? Assume you are upright and success will be in store for you. Assume all works in your favor to express your States. This is how the Imagination works.

Blameless or blameable, they are only States, a feeling towards self. A State is powerless until it is provided with I AM. I AM is not a State, so do not feel guilty for taking a better State. Do not feel you are doing something wrong for giving yourself feelings of bliss. Everything within you is yourself for the taking. Think unconditionally, as as Neville says, "Don't tell me anything! Tell me what you want! They are only States!”

📜lotus writting: this is the last post from the series! tysm for reading all of them! It was a pleasure to summarize those!

#neville goddard #loa advice #loatumblr #loa blog #law of assumption #manifesting #living in the end #edward art

[squadrah]

From My CuriousCat

"Could you write about Melone's day? :3"

Cracking my mind's knuckles right now.

When he gets up wildly varies from day to day. Sometimes he's good about getting rest and somehow manages to wake up at a reasonable morning hour, and sometimes he browses until 3 to 5 am and passes out, then emerges close to noon or after. If he's not up by 9 am, someone invariably goes to check up on him, though Baby Face Laptop scuttling about the base doing nothing in particular is a fair indicator of Melone still alive and kicking. Some of his medication needs to be taken in the morning, so Prosciutto wakes him up as needed and makes him take it.

Melone is somewhat of a regular at Prosciutto's office hours: 1) he's nosy about everyone's business, and that's a prime time to catch up on said business, 2) he might have a request or two, predominantly medical. If his medication is running out, Prosciutto will take him to the doctor because Melone has a hard time putting his own needs into perspective and Prosciutto is very aggressive about getting him what he actually needs.

Like his sleep habits, Melone's eating habits are all over the place due to a variety of factors, including his food allergies, his current condition, the weather, etc. He snacks a lot and rarely has a proper meal, though he lives quite deliciously when he remembers to take his lactaid. Usually sits down at the table more for the conversations to be had than for the actual food. Like Formaggio, he's very social in his own way.

Tends to spend the hours in-between meals researching his interests or drawing up documents at the others' requests (he makes tables, figures and calculations, keeps logs on contracts, etc.) Sometimes disappears for a few hours to "tend to himself"; Baby Face Laptop will keep far away from the apartment if he does, and will just sit downstairs or roam about where it's allowed (and where it isn't, but it will heed Prosciutto swinging a broom at it).

Because Melone tends to sleep in late and sometimes doses off during the day, evening and night are his prime hours. He will be very social and engage in whatever way he can, so his food experiments featuring Formaggio usually occur at this time. Can't have alcohol with his meds so he just tends to make himself weird virgin cocktails if the others are drinking, but sometimes he breaks the rules and lives recklessly until god performs a vibe check.

Will only retire to his apartment once there's nobody left to talk to. the rest of the gang (except Illuso) tend to keep normal hours, so Melone usually goes to bed by 1 am, but whether he'll actually sleep or spend three hours watching videos on some obscure subject is a different story.

Also, I decided his outfit is spandex. Spandex, with windows and accessories. Wears cute underwear underneath because he deserves to, and washes his stuff very frequently.

#jjba #la squadra #melone #squadrah headcanons #squadrah original

[whenthedoctorwashim]

useless duffers

okay i've read so many posts similar to this but i guess i kinda need to get it out as well.

first of all at this time of consumerism of tv shows and movies, representation became much much more important compared to earlier decades. we need diversity and i dont care the aspects of it just diversity. race, political opinion, sexuality, religion i just dont care we need every single of that and we've been craving for it for such a long time. we DESERVE it. especially from the queerbaiting perspective we just deserve it.

and i'm sick of having to talk about this in 2022. this is fucking embarrasing for humanity.

okay let me just get back to st point of it.

im just leaving will to the end because god thats gonna take time.

everyone in st has some deeply heavy trauma but lets just focus on max's just for the sake of my rambling and vol 1 aspect of it. max had clearly depression. she lost a family member she is just pushing herself away from everyone who cares about her etc. the scene where max was captured by vecna i just immediately thought "yeah i mean she cant die that would just be trash and duffers wouldn't do that you have to show some strength you have to show a meaningful scene where she needs to rescue herself i mean this is the point of the show, outcasts survive, LIVE, they realize their worth and they have each other" and then she was finally able to run away from her *demons*/vecna/ and came to realization that her life is worth something was so impactful. I fell in love with the scene because thats all we could ask for. We can overcome our mental issues. We just need strenght, love and support system. What is the point of the storytelling if you build up your characters' background in such a rich way but then just throw it in trash by killing them in such a weak fearful way??

yeaahh about that.

MY BOY WILL.

oh my god will. he is a gay boy in 80s. he is getting bullied by his father and classmates because of it. he is in love with his straight best friend. their group is getting bullied for being *nerds* as well. he is basically the representative for hundreds of gay kids in 80s. a lot of people saw themselves in will. they get bullied, they get attacked, they get called as an outcast just like will.

so from the point of storytelling; what is the impactful, meaningful and honestly the RIGHT direction for will? Well thats fucking easy. He needs to find happiness and love he deserves. He need to realise that he is NOT a mistake or burden for those around him. He needs to be appreciated and get the support system he needs.

My boy got fucking dragged down to the upside down. he got back and everything changed. the boy who he is in love with changed, their dnd group changed. He was just trying to cling onto something that made him happy and their friends didnt even see that. then as time progresses he just became more and more like a silent forgotten character in the group??? he moved away from the only place he knows as home and then his best friend didnt even try to stay in contact with him??? but will is still in love with him?? but he still thinks he is the mistake?? he is wrong for being like this?? and his friends dont even care about him?? they forget his fucking birthday??? actually noone cared about his fucking birthday?? he just fucking cried his eyes out in the car with his best friend sitting next to him and noone noticed??? he cant even find the words to tell his brother how he feels and somehow we should be okay??? he just watched his best friend saying the day he disappeared was the day he was born and somehow that should be romantic from another point of view???

im so fucking angry im just gonna stop.

will could be so beautiful. will's arc could be soooo meaningful. he had all the powerful elements. he was the hero he was the HEART of the group. i dont care what anyone says. he was the survivor and he was wise one with a lost voice.

as much as i love byler i didnt need to have it. i just needed will to be in peace with himself and find some resolution. i needed him to be free of his demons. i needed his running max scene. he deserves it so fucking much.

but instead we get blinded, on the verge of death max and crying his eyes out, trying to save a weird meaningless straight relationship will.

thanks duffers. fuck you.

#st4 spoilers #will byers #stranger things #st vol 2 #i didnt even talk about eleven #god they did everyone dirty didnt they #just be a constant i guess #thats what duffers like #evolvement #we dont know her #if you are a constant you stay alive #just learn nothing and suffer in your meaningless void #if you try to learn and love #you die #especially if you are gay #why are you even alive man jeez #you are mistake right #you just needed the 80s music and clothes fuckers #you didnt need to be 80s style douchebags

[pelykhanne]

I almost finished analysis seminars, and tried to understand optics. I took off my tattoo foil but still a bit afraid sleeping with an open tattoo haha

Yesterday I couldn’t fall asleep by 11, instead at 1 am I was thinking about the situationship with one guy, who started ignoring my messages for a week now. Again, the same shit came back over and over again. I see him online and I know he answered to our common friend about the bday gift. Cause he is having a birthday soon and I am still planning to gift him something, even though I literally want to puke because of the thing that is happening.

I keep wondering why I deserve such shitty behaviour towards me, anyway here is the message of anger I wanted to send but changed my mind:

“Ok, you know what? I feel stupid, the situation is stupid and everything in general is stupid. I am sick of randomly being in ignorance, I’ve been patient more than enough and this is happening again. I do not find it normal to not reply after holidays and not to come by to say hi, if you decided to disappear again you could have at least informed me about it instead of doing this kind of thing to me again again and again. I do not believe that a person can be that goddamn busy for several days while appearing online from time to time and not find a few minutes for a talk and I hate the feeling that I have at the moment, the fact that I again trapped into this emotional state and that I was fool enough to have a hope for something better and continued hoping after seeing the changes. And I hate the way I feel right now as well, as I said I feel so stupid and anxious asking myself why I deserved all of this and what I have done wrong to receive such behaviour from you, my mind is splitting again of how come one can be ok with a physical intimacy and being kind and romantic in the texts, but not committing to anything and being such a dick.”

There is noone from my acquaintances nor family/friends on my Tumblr so I don’t mind posting whatever I want. This is the secret world I have. Save and mine

Good news: I wrote a paper letter to my best friend and will send it to her hopefully soon, cause I got inspired by a tv show Anne with an E. I really like thinking about the world without tiktok and all those bad internet things that are causing addictions etc. but that is a topic for another post that probably will never be created ahahah

I also noticed how modern people tend to forget all the shit you asked them for, or postponing everything, and my sentence about a post reminded me of that sorry ahaha, hopefully I will stop being like that some day

#Spotify

[books-and-catears]

HERE WE GO AGAIN GHOST MCS JAJAJAJA

One of which- mc is tied to a small tombstone and can only be awoken by a certain song (ITS THE TEN RABBITS WHICH IS A DARK NURSERY RHYME BUT ITS SO GOOD AADBDKAGAJAAAAAAA HU TAO SINGS IT IT SOUNDS SO NICE AND GHOSTY), after you wake them up they just stay around you and sometimes cause chaos since they get protective, like per say someone was being mean, they would then take their most precious item, destroy their things, etc, protective ghost......

The other is basically, ghost mc is a very shy ghost unless there's music playing (like time adventure) they start to dance around and have a great time- they're the one who takes care of said garden, immediately flees upon the sight of others — imagine if other demons destroyed the garden and they're just,, lightly sobbing because all of their hard work is destroyed

We have feral and shy ghost mcs woowooo

I apologise profusely, now I shall mail myself to mars

With the amount of Ghost MCs I'm writing about I should officially start a whole ass Ghost MC page XD. Right so I shall have to write this in two parts.

I love these asks so much. Kindly donot mail yourself to Mars, I donot like losing my friends on random planets and if I have to drag you back I will lecture you all the way home, Satan+Lucifer style.

Shy Garden Ghost! MC

(This gives me such cottagecore vibes I frigging love it)

Lucifer

Is obviously annoyed when he can never find MC in their room. Where do they keep running off to?

Eventually finds out its the garden. Fine then if they like it so much, all the gardening chores are theirs.

MC is delighted at the offer. Spends their time pruning and watering and nurturing plants.

Doesn't talk to anyone much, just smile at everyone and go about their day. However they couldn't resist music.

Lucifer learnt that when he played one of his records and looked out the window. MC was dancing about happily, their laughter ringing through the wind.

Their feet never touched the grass once they started dancing, always floating a good few inches above ground. It only added to their grace.

He knows how shy they were so he just stands there sipping tea, watching them dance from behind his curtains. It's the favorite part of his day.

Mammon

MC is a WHAT? A GHOST? And they live in the garden?!

At first he's strangely scared even before seeing MC. But after he's told he has to take care of MC, he ventures into the garden. MC was smiling to themself, pruning some tall trees. It was strangely calming.

Great now the Garden is where he hides from Lucifer.

He gets to attached MC and also asks for more gardening chores. MC cannot possibly cut all the grass by themself!

He sees how MC loves planting flowers and herbs and takes care of them.

He often buys new seeds of fruits and flowers he thinks MC might like.

One day he comes home to find MC crying in the middle of a completely destroyed garden. A heavy storm ruined all their hard work.

Mammon just wordlessly gets to work, trying to fix everything by himself. He doesn't like seeing MC like this.

Leviathan

MC loves gardening that much? Great! They are now his partner in all the foraging games.

Levi is often impressed by how MC guesses exactly which components to combine to create the strongest items.

Both of them being shy, often blush in silence sitting next to each other. Sometimes their hands intertwine and noone says a thing. MC's were always deathly cold, but Levi loved that.

MC is the only thing that can make Levi go out of his room for fresh air. He was hesitant at first, but now he loves visiting the garden.

Sometimes he takes note of what plants MC uses in real life.

It's quiet and it's just MC doing their thing, smiling at him often. He secretly takes so many pictures.

In appreciation, he made a virtual garden identical to the one they made.

Satan

Satan is instantly impressed by MC's skills and knowledge about gardening. He is a lover of nature too after all. Especially flowers.

MC used to scutter away when first approached them in the garden. He chuckled to himself, thinking their shyness is adorable.

But he used to come to the garden so often, MC finally got used to it. Satan would sit in the grass asking or telling MC about the flowers or shrubs they'd just planted.

Sometimes they would sneak out in the middle of breaks, taking a walk and checking on the plants.

One day as they walked in hand-in-hand, MC screamed and fell down in horror. Someone had uprooted all the freshly planted plants spitefully.

Satan was gone for the whole day. He returned at night, with blood spatters on his clothes and a strange duffel bag.

He went straight to the garden to fix everything with you. He'd said that demon remains had potential to be a good fertilizer.

Asmodeus

A soft ghost MC with a flowercore aesthetic? Asmo was instantly intrigued.

But MC is so shy they hide the moment Asmo steps foot in the garden. Asmo catches them peering up at him, hiding in the middle of a bunch of flowers.

My, my, was his beauty that intimidating to you? Don't worry MC, you're just a gorgeous as he is. There is an odd charm about your slightly transculent skin.

One day he found their secret. The fact that they cannot help but dance if they hear music.

So he goes walking in the garden, singing in his gorgeous voice. How can anyone resist that voice?

MC emerges from the shadow of the trees and dances to the sound of his voice. Floating higher and higher with a smile on their face.

Asmo watches them in awe, bringing out his wings. He joins them in the sky. MC is startled at first but takes the hand that he offers. MC is too enamored by his voice.

Asmo feels like he's in a movie and loves that feeling. Just two beautiful beings dancing in the dead of the night.

Beelzebub

Beel noticed an abundance of fresh fruits and vegetables after MC showed up. He is even more thankful, when he sees MC sets aside a lot of extras for him.

He notices how MC works super hard in the garden to grow the vegetables. Especially the heavy lifting.

He doesn't waste a single second - all the heavy handed jobs are his now. He doesn't care that MC is strong enough he's here to help.

MC got over their shyness quicker around him because that's how much a calming presence he was. He helped soften the soil and also helped pluck out the bigger vegetables when it was all good.

Although he did end up eating a lot of them, MC laughed and patted his head. After all his hard work he deserved that much atleast.

One day he MC and him discovered the garden had been destroyed. Someone left behind a note "Disappear like you're supposed to, you stupid ghost".

Beel was already hugging MC and bringing them back inside when MC started crying. Later that night he said he was too full to eat. A whole demon takes time to digest.

Belphegor

Belphie's a little brat. Seeing how shy MC was - he was set to embarrass them even more.

He'd take his pillow in the garden and fall asleep exactly near the plants that MC was currently working on.

MC would squeal and skitter away at first but then got used to his presence. After all all he does is sleep.

Once as a prank, MC built a little flower crown and placed it on Belphie's sleepy head. Belphie woke up to his brothers taking pictures of him and laughing about how cute he looked.

Oh now he had more plans to annoy MC. He'd brought his DDD along and played music, hiding in some tall shrubs. And while MC danced happily, a skip and hop in their step.

He was going to send it in the group to his brothers but he was so enamored by the dancing he kept staring till he fell asleep watching it. Like a good dream.

He woke up to MC snuggled into him. They were no longer shy. Belphie put his arms around them and went back to sleep.

#obey me headcanons #obey me headcannons #obey me imagine #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me asmo #obey me satan #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me fluff #obey me game #obey me ghost! mc #obey me angst #obey me funny #obey me x reader #obey me brothers

[berjhawn]

Day & Night ~ Ch. 1 ~ Baby Steps, Bruce.

Batman/Bruce Wayne X Reader (Lady Light) X DC universe

Warnings: past trauma, lies, ETC 

(A/N) Please read the intro first. Here’s chapter 1, the next part will come out on Jan 24th. Please like, comment, and reblog. I would love to hear what you all think. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I take a deep breath as I stand at my front door not wanting to open it. Of course, Batman had seen what happened. This was his domain. He saw everything that happened in Gotham. This was not good. When I tell him who I am, it was only a matter of time before HE knew I wasn’t in Metropolis anymore and I was done with the whole superhero thing.

Unlocking my door, I walk inside and setting my bag down on the counter I walk over to the window and opening it let out a heavy sigh. This was gonna suck. I walk over to my room and opening the closet pull out the case that held my super suit and sigh. I thought I was past this. Opening it, I grab the simple white mask and then closing the case slide it back into the closet. The mask should be enough.

I walk back out to the living room to see Batman standing there and I am instantly aware of just how tall and muscular he really is. The suit did nothing for him. He clears his throat and I shake my head free of the thoughts that were running through them.

“Sorry, it’s just been a while since I saw you in the light.” I answer honestly causing him to tense.

“When was that?” He asks and I look up as I try to remember.

“Can’t remember the exact day, but I know it was on the watchtower. When Diana introduced me to everyone as,” I pause as I place my mask on my face and run my hands through my hair changing the color to a shimmering blonde color.

“Lady Light.” Batman concludes and I nod.

“Haven’t heard that name in a while.” I reply quickly changing my hair color back to my normal one as I take off my mask.

“Why’d you disappear?” He inquires and I shake my head.

“Sorry Bats, we don’t know each other well enough for me to tell you that.” I reply tossing the mask onto the coffee table. “So, are you gonna tell them where I am?” I ask addressing the elephant in the room.

“They deserve to know that you aren’t dead.” Batman concludes and I roll my eyes.

“You always knew best didn’t you.” I retort crossing my legs. “But you’re right. You can tell them I’m fine.” My eyes plead with him as I continue, “Just please, do not tell them where I am.”

Batman folds his arms over his chest, and I wait for him to chastise me, but he doesn’t.

“Very well.” He answers and my eyes shoot to his as confusion fills my eyes.

“You’re not going to tell them?” I inquire moving to stand in front of him.  

“It’s not my secret to tell.” He answers and I nod.

“Thank you. Honestly, you’re the last person I thought would help me.” I answer honestly and he nods slightly.

“I can understand why.” He replies moving to the window. Before he leaves, he stops and reaching into his utility belt he grabs something and then holds it out to me. “Take this.”

“What is it?” I ask as I cross the floor to him. I look down to see a communicator and I cock an eyebrow at him.

“If you ever want to come back, or even just to talk. I’ll be here.” He replies and then without another word he is gone.

I stare off after him in confusion for a while. That was very uncharacteristic of him. Why would he do that for me? I though he hated me. Well hate may be a strong word, but I did not think he liked me. I run my fingers against the communicator as I think to myself that maybe I had been wrong about him.

~~~

I stand at the water fountain in the middle of the park my hands wringing themselves against the strap of my purse. I hadn’t slept that much last night, terrified that Batman would have lied and the person I did not want to see the most would have been at my door. I would have canceled on Bruce today, but unfortunately, I didn’t have his number. So here I was. Dressed in a nice sundress with my converse on.

I look down at my watch to see that I was a little early. Letting out a heavy sigh I find a clean spot on the fountain to sit. My mind was still racing about last night. I didn’t know why but Batman seemed weird. He was different than I remembered him.

Why? When I had been a part of the Justice League, he and I fought all the time. People joked that it was because I was the Sun, and he was the Night; but I knew that was bullshit. I glance around at all the people at the park to see them all enjoying themselves and the sunshine and I smile. One of the reasons I had left the League was because I wanted that. I wanted to be normal.

Sure, I loved being a hero. There was an amazing feeling when you saved someone’s life. It was intoxicating. The rush you got from their love and adoration was dangerous. It was like an addiction.

Closing my eyes, I let the sun soak into my skin and smile softly. The sun was my symbol. I am, or was, Lady Light. So naturally I got my enrichment from the sun. The more I was in it the healthier I looked.

“(Name),” I hear Bruce’s voice say my name and I open my eyes. “Sorry I’m late.”

I look at my watch and see that it’s one minute after noon and I chuckle.

“Really? You consider one minute as late.” I laugh as I stand up next to him. “If you think by those standards, I’m always late.” I smile brightly and he returns my smile.

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Glad you see it that way.”

“Shall we?” he asks holding his arm out for me to take and I nod.

“So, where are we going?” I ask as I intertwine my arm with his.

“Well, there are some museums, the opera house, the shopping district; you pick.”

“While those all sound amazing, I was thinking more of the places you find interesting.” I reply as I look up to meet his gaze.

Confusion mapped his face and I instantly want to take back what I said.

“I’m sorry,” I add, and he furrows his brow.

“Why are you sorry?” He asks and I let out a sigh.

“You looked like I had said something wrong.”

“No, I was just surprised. The women I usually see always jump for the shopping idea.” Bruce says and I roll my eyes.

“If I wanted to go shopping, I’d take myself. No offense.” I reply and he smirks.

“None taken, so places I find more interesting.” He pauses for a moment before his eyes light up. “Are you hungry?”

Will continue

#berjhawn #berjhawn writes #batman fanfiction #batman x reader #batman x you #batman x y/n #batman #bruce wayne fanfiction #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne x y/n #bruce wayne #bruce wayne x you #dc alternate universe #dcau #dc universe #lady light #reader insert #superhero reader #bruce wayne batman

[red-dead-cryptids]

Molly O'Shea basic Cryptid Information

Molly O’Shea deserved better than Dutch and you all know it. She’s an Irish spirit known as a Banshee and, much like the Dullahan, they herald death (typically of a family member mostly). They do this by wailing, shrieking, keening, etc. I thought a banshee could represent her downward spiral throughout the game.

Cryptid Appearance

Molly typically wears a gray, shimmery cloak with an attached hood over her clothes and she’s usually seen in a white, simplistic gown.

Her eyes are usually red from their uncontrollable weeping and her complexion could be described as “gastly”.

Her face is often veiled when she is not in camp, hiding her eyes and complexion from strangers and passerbys.

Molly has an unnatural height for a woman, standing at a good six foot two with long, graceful limbs.

She has the form of an “ethereal young beauty”, as described by most.

Her red hair has streaks of silver throughout them that has nothing to do with her age as she was born with the streaks.

Cryptid Abilities

Molly is a wailing spirit, her wails and cries are mournful lamentations meant to warn family members of a loved one’s impending death. She sings her lament even after one dies, even when they are far away. Her wailing is the first warning a household has of death.

She is capable of predicting if a situation someone is about to enter will end in death for the individual and she will scream or wail as a warning. Molly is even able to predict a death for up to a week prior, though she has no idea who she is crying for.

Her wail can be heard from miles around.

She can vanish from sight rather quickly, seeming to disappear in a cloud of mist.

Character (AU) Trivia

Molly blends in quite well with humans normally, but the things that sets her apart are her continuously red and weeping eyes.

She has a special, silver comb with an unintelligible inscription engraved in the side. She will use nothing else but this to comb out her hair and grows angry and frustrated whenever someone else touches it.

Molly prefers the night time as she is not all too fond of the daylight. Though, on occasion you can see her up and about around the noon hour.

Before meeting the Van der Linde gang, and after arriving in America, Molly was very weary and mistrusting of humans and other Cryptids. She would run off before they could get a full look at her and it appeared she didn’t enjoy nor want the company of anyone. Well, until she met Dutch Van der Linde that is.

Her clothing emits a type of fluttering sound (like flying birds) whenever she moves around.

Molly can usually be found sitting on rocks shaped like wedges when she has her ‘weeping fits’ as they’re known around camp.

Molly’s ‘weeping fits’ can last for up to several nights in a row before they taper off.

Banshees have different cries and wails depending on the person. Molly’s sounds like either a glass shattering shrill or a low, pleasant singing. It usually depends on the situation and her level of grief.

~~~~~~

The Banshee was usually thought to have once been a normal woman who enjoyed life, was incredibly beautiful and radiated happiness, but some great sorrow overcame her at some point in her life and she became a haggard old woman.

Very fitting for Molly, isn’t it?

#red dead redemption #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #red dead fandom #monsters au #cryptids au #red dead cryptids au #van der linde gang #dutch van der linde #molly o'shea

[spicycreativity]

Intertwined - Chapter 7

Chapter: 7/8

Content warnings: Blood, respiratory distress, mentions of alcohol and use (no depictions)

Add'l Notes: Patton is a sweet, gentle bear, Janus is a scheming, diabolical manlet, I'll die on this hill, etc etc.

This was getting unbearable. Janus buried his face in his handkerchief and coughed and coughed. His blood was warm against his tongue and lips, streaking the blooms dark red. His chest burned constantly now, his throat always irritated and raw.

To top it all off, Patton had disappeared without a word of warning, leaving Janus with no answers. If anything, he had more questions than ever before. The vase of poppies on Patton's dresser could not have been a coincidence, but there was just no way this was Patton's fault.

So Janus was saddled with a mystery, with flowers in his lungs, and with Remus' awkward attempts at support.

"I'm just saying, you can't rule it out until you try it," Remus said, pausing in his pacing to give Janus a doe-eyed pout.

"For the last time, Remus, I'm not going to huff weed killer." Janus threw his head back against the couch cushions and tried his best to sigh. The effect was somewhat muted by the sputtering coughs that followed.

"I can tell you want to scream," Remus said.

He was right, though Janus would never admit it. "Yes, I think that--" Breathe, breathe, breathe-- "that'll fix me." What Janus really wanted, disgusted as he was to admit it to himself, was Patton. Not that Patton would be able to do anything that Remus couldn't do, but Janus missed him. Quite terribly, if he was being honest with himself. Maybe he would feel better if he cried, not that he'd ever allow himself to do that. He'd have to be out of his mind on hypoxia and poppy seeds.

"I just wish there was something I could do," Remus said, dropping hands to his sides. "Other than just sit here and watch."

Janus hadn't told him about the flowers in Patton's room. He kept things close to his chest by nature, determined to solve his problems on his own. He didn't ask for help. Even if he would have dearly liked another perspective on this mystery, he couldn't put that responsibility on Remus. It would only make him feel worse if he failed.

"You can make me ginger tea," Janus said, forcing a smile. It wasn't right seeing Remus fret like this. "With honey."

A teacup appeared on the coffee table alongside a bottle of whiskey. So much for occupying Remus with busywork. "What I should do," Remus said, brandishing his morningstar, "is go maul Roman until he agrees to fix you."

"As entertaining as that would be, I'm not so sure that's the most efficient course of action, per se." Janus shifted, trying to work out how to leave Remus without making him feel abandoned. He just wanted to go check on Patton, but didn't feel at all up to the task of refereeing whatever confrontation would result in Patton and Remus sharing space. He could always just get up and leave with no explanation…. But Remus didn't deserve that.

In the end, he decided to wait until Remus got bored. There was no guarantee he was even going to find Patton. He had been AWOL for the past two days and Janus had had a near run-in with Virgil last night when he'd gone to look for Patton, an experience he was not keen to repeat.

And if Janus expedited the process of ditching Remus by pretending to fall asleep, well, he'd never tell.

Patton had a distinctly hungover look about him, with his glasses missing and his hair sticking up in the back. He blinked at Janus, bleary-eyed, and Janus' heart started to jackhammer in his chest. How utterly cute, how endearing. He wanted to smooth Patton's hair down and kiss him on the forehead, though he'd have to stand on his tiptoes to reach. Damn the subconscious for making him tiny.

"Where have you been?" Janus asked, planting himself in the middle of the hallway. Patton's door disappeared into white ether, a fact which Janus filed away to think about later.

"Sleeping," Patton said, holding up a bottle of NyQuil.

Well, that explained why he didn't smell like alcohol despite the obvious hangover. "And here I thought you were avoiding me," Janus teased. Despite the awful sting all up and down his chest, Patton's mere presence seemed to lighten the burden and ease his fears. He could bear this as long as he had Patton by his side.

"No," Patton mumbled, dragging hands down his face. "Coffee. Then talk."

He swayed a little, steadying himself on the wall. Janus held out his hand. "Come here, let me help."

Patton nodded and let Janus lead him to the kitchen. Not trusting Patton with high chairs at the kitchen island, Janus instead led him to the table and turned a chair out for him so they could face each other. Patton coughed behind closed lips and a spike of fear paralyzed Janus' heart. He was already fighting for breath and this new bolt of adrenaline made him dizzy. He took deep breaths (as well as he could, with his lungs all entangled and bleeding) and forced himself to make coffee step-by-step. It was the one thing he regularly did by hand instead of just imagining it to completion, a ritual and a reward.

"I hope you didn't catch what I have," Janus said. Maintaining the lie.

"Doubt it," Patton mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

Janus narrowed his eyes. What did that mean? Was Patton coughing up poppies, too? Suddenly, the drip-drip-drip of coffee into the pot, the rich, reassuring smell of the grounds, seemed unimportant. Janus imagined the coffee done percolating, imagined two mugs on the table. He pushed one toward Patton. "Cheers."

"What time is it?" Patton asked before downing half the contents of the mug in one long swallow.

"Around noon, I think." Feeling his diaphragm seize, Janus turned away, shaking his handkerchief out of his sleeve, and gave in to the fit. It was getting harder and harder to swallow the pain. Inhaling was not just uncomfortable now; it hurt like clenched fists around his lungs. But Janus was a practiced liar and tucked the pain away behind a velvet curtain. "I haven't seen you in two days."

"Sorry," Patton said, looking fractionally more alert now. "I was trying to sleep off this… Cold, I guess."

"Mm," said Janus, taking a sip of coffee to keep from having to answer properly. He couldn't decide how he wanted to pursue this, if he wanted to pursue this. What did it matter if Patton was coughing up poppies or daisies or African violets? It brought Janus no closer to solving the puzzle.

"You sound really bad," Patton said. He finished his coffee and blinked hard. "Oh! I'm sorry, but I don't think it's Roman."

"You're sure?" Janus asked, blood running cold.

But a lot of things seemed to be hitting Patton all at once with the introduction of caffeine to his system; he whipped his head up to look at Janus with something akin to panic. "I wanted to thank you, and-- Oh." He looked at their coffee mugs with obvious dismay. "I did it again."

"Did what?"

"I… I let you take care of me," Patton said in a small voice.

"Oh, Patton," Janus sighed, unable to help himself. The breath that ghosted across his lips tasted like blood and black coffee. He wondered if Patton would mind terribly if Janus kissed him anyway. "I really haven't been." That was true. Janus had been deliberately holding himself back from giving himself over to Patton. How little support did he get from the others, that Janus' minor attempts at friendship felt so significant?

"You have!" Patton insisted. "Right from the start. You've been right by my side through all of this, reminding me to take care of myself, spending time with me. You even helped me with that dog puzzle."

"I don't understand," Janus said. These were normal friendship behaviors. Had he been too obvious? Did Patton suspect? "Wouldn't the others have done the same?"

"They would," Patton said. "If I had asked."

"Oh," said Janus, blinking away a wave of dizziness. Even he couldn't begrudge the others their lack of understanding. It wasn't their fault they couldn't give Patton what he hadn't asked for. But what did it say about him that he had?

"You've been a really good friend to me, Janus. Even though I don't deserve it."

"Don't talk about my friend like that," Janus said, nudging Patton in the ribs. It was a soft, familiar gesture, something he'd done to Remus a hundred times before. It was the first time Janus had touched Patton without announcing it, getting permission.

Patton smiled at him, and then they both ruined the moment by dissolving into twin coughing fits.

Janus' lasted longer; he felt Patton's eyes on him as he repeatedly tried and failed to get himself under control-- Was that an entire flower in his throat? What did that mean? He banished it with difficulty, trying to master the animal impulses screaming it hurts it hurts it hurts as if to drown out his rational thought. He should leave, but he didn't want to. So he straightened up and washed away the taste of blood in his mouth with another swallow of coffee.

"Ohhh," Patton whispered. "You really don't sound good."

"I'm fine," Janus said, reflexively bringing out an old standard. It was the one lie everybody told.

"You didn't believe me when I said I was fine," Patton said. "Why should I believe you?"

"There's not really anything to be done about it," Janus said, hating the shallow breaths he had to take between every few words. If he stayed, he would have to pretend he wasn't in agony. But hadn't he been doing that this whole time? It was agony, being so certain that Patton could never want Janus the way Janus wanted Patton, yet unable to crush that sliver of hope that never died out.

Patton brandished the NyQuil bottle and Janus forced himself to laugh. Patton smiled at him, so soft and gentle and honey-sweet. "Why don't you sit with me?" Janus blinked and they were on the couch with two fresh cups of coffee. Patton had left no space between their bodies. "Is this okay?"

It wasn't, really. Janus burned with the contact, burned all over until he could feel it in his face and had to hide behind a cooler mask, though he was sure this one was still pale and pinched with pain. It wasn't fair at all, this horrible parody of romance. It shouldn't have been a problem. He should have been satisfied with friendship, like he was with Remus. It was nothing to sit in Remus' lap or play with his hair because they were both happy with the arrangement. But this? This made Janus want to put a fist through the wall. So of course, he said "Yes" and took his hat off in case he worked up the courage to rest his head on Patton's shoulder.

"Are we still gonna be friends the next time Thomas needs us for something?" Patton asked.

"So it's just a given that we're going to disagree?"

"Janus."

"Okay, okay." Janus sighed as deeply as his strangled lungs would allow. "I promise."

Patton beamed and didn't even question him. He just took it at face value now, that Janus wasn't lying about this. "Oh, good."

"So what are we doing?" Janus asked. "Going to drink coffee and gossip like a couple of old ladies?"

"Whatever you want, really," Patton said.

"Oh, good," Janus said drily. "I want to take shots and play strip poker." Patton blinked at him. "Kidding."

"Oh!" said Patton, shaking his head. "Sorry. Guess the NyQuil hasn't worn off yet."

"How about we watch something?" Janus asked. It was probably a little too early in the friendship to force Patton sit down and watch Perry Mason with him, but then again… He was a practiced hand at being selfish. The TV flashed to life and Janus sat his mug down on the coffee table before leaning back to watch.

"Ha," said Patton, apparently recognizing the show. "Should have guessed."

"Oh, enlighten me," Janus said, feigning innocence. "What's so funny?"

"I should have guessed you'd be into courtroom dramas," Patton said.

Janus would have ribbed him further, had his lungs not decided to turn themselves inside out. He barely got his handkerchief in front of his mouth in time before blood started spilling over his lips. God, this was miserable. His resolve was cracking, he was starting to doubt he could make it much longer without vocalizing the pain. "Maybe I will take that NyQuil," he said, the words feeling like coarse grit sandpaper as they dragged themselves up his throat. He took it from Patton before Patton could take the cap off-- He still had his pride even if he wouldn't have his voice for much longer. The thought loomed so terrifying in his mind that denial smacked it down to nothing before it could get out of control. Janus poured out half a dose of NyQuil. Everything would be fine. He would be okay. The subconscious would set him straight before the flowers could completely take over his respiratory system.

Beside him, Patton coughed a little too, and Janus sincerely hoped that he wasn't suffering the same ailment. Patton didn't deserve that.

The NyQuil kicked in gently, drawing Janus so subtly toward sleep he only noticed he was drifting off when his head touched Patton's shoulder.

#spicywrites #spicywrites intertwined #moceit #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfic #janus sanders #patton sanders

[thorne93]

Inside the Criminal Mind (Part 31)

Prompt: You’re married to Dr. Spencer Reid of the BAU, and are a distinguished doctor yourself on the team. You’re sent down to Miami, Florida for teaching and as a side request from the FBI, to investigate a string of missing persons. When you think you’ve figured out who the unsub is, your life becomes more complicated than you ever could’ve imagined.

Word Count: 3515

Warnings: (throughout the fic –>) death, blood, gore, killings, language, disturbing mental notions, mentions of rapes/murder/etc (You know, Dexter and Criminal Minds related business)

Notes: Thank you so much to @arrow-guy​​​​​​, @carryonmyswansong​​​​​​, and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​​​​​ - without each of you, I couldn’t have finished, written, or properly navigated this story. Each of you helped me fish out details that were incredibly important to me. Beta’d by @carryonmyswansong​​​​​​ and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​​​​​… Aesthetic by @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​​​​​

This is a crossover of Criminal Minds x Dexter. First time writing Dexter.

Also, the timeline is after Season 1 of Dexter, but during season 14-ish of Criminal minds into Season 15. Enjoy!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re back kinda late,” Spencer noted as he read a book, sitting in the hotel chair next to the small desk they provided. 

“Yeah, uh, Dexter got stabbed at a bowling alley,” you explained. 

“Is he alright?” he asked, closing his book and looking at you, trying to find signs of distress. 

You mindlessly tossed your purse and keys onto the table. “Yeah, no he’s fine. Sorry, should’ve led with that. Uh, but he was stabbed by his mother’s murderer. Apparently, a few weeks ago, on the horrible advice of his NA sponsor, he went to find him in Naples and confront him. I guess things got heated, they had a fight, and somehow he found out who Dexter was and followed him. He came up behind Dexter. I had to warn him, and help fight him off. He got in his truck and got away though.”

“Sounds like an intense night. Are you okay?”

You nodded as Spencer stood up to come rub your arms and check on you. 

“I’m fine, yeah.”

“Is everything alright? You seem a bit distant.”

“Well, I have something I want to ask you and I’m worried how you’ll take it.” 

“No secrets, remember? Just ask me. I’m sure I’ll be fine,” he assured with a sweet smile. A smile you’d nearly forgotten about. You hadn’t seen it in so long. 

You took a deep breath, your eyes casting to the ugly hotel carpeting. “Okay, Dexter and I think it would be a good idea if you came along with us to kill his mother’s murderer.” You let out the breath you’d been holding. 

Spencer’s hands let go of your arms. Your eyes flashed up to see what his facial reaction was. It was morphed into a deep frown.

Okay, yeah, you knew that was coming. 

“What?” he asked, clearly put off. “Y/N, that’s the most insane idea i’ve ever heard. I don’t want to be any more a part of this than I am, than I have to be. You want to drag me along to watch this? And since when are you going back to killing again?”

“I’m not. I just want to be there to help Dexter. It’s mainly for moral support, nothing else.”

“Funny choice of words,” he said balefully as he began walking around the room, his hands going to his hair, disheveling it even further. 

“Don’t start right now. Look, I wasn’t thrilled either, but Dexter made a point. We think maybe you have this horrible imagery built up in your head about what we do, what he does. Some kind of villainous nightmare. Subjectively, yes, he does kill and he kills gruesomely. But objectively, this time we thought you could have some perspective. You nearly killed Cat because she had your mother hostage. This man brutally murdered his mother in front of him and his brother as little kids. Tell me you can’t find some iota of sympathy in you. I’m not saying you’ll enjoy this or want to do it, but maybe if you just watched us, watched his process, you’d see he wasn't some unhinged unsub.” You let out a breath, starting to feel frustrated. You didn’t know why you had to spell this out for him and it was getting old. Either he understood, or he didn’t.

He sighed, clenching his fist as he turned his head to the side, not looking at you. “Alright, you’re right. I said I’d support you in this, and I haven’t given you the full chance to show me what you two have done. I just assumed the worst, and because I love you, I forgave your actions. But you’re right, if I’m going to keep helping you two, Ineed to know exactly what it is you two do.” 

“Really? You’ll do this?” 

“I’m not excited about it, but if I’m going to fully understand where your mind was at and what you two did together, I need to see it. I think it will be beneficial either way. It might bring us closer together, it might help me see it from your view.” 

You nodded. “Good. I think it will help. He wants to do it in the morning because it’ll take all day to get to him in Naples, abduct him, and kill, and dispose of him.”

“Wow, that’s soon. What about work? All 3 of us can’t just disappear for a day.”

You bit your lip. “Shit, I forgot. Well, we just need to wait for a break in the case that could get us all some time off. As soon as things slow down one day, and they give us a break, we’ll go.”

He nodded in response and the next day, you told Dex your tentative schedule. He agreed that all three of you needed to be present, and in order to not raise further suspicion, you’d have to wait on Rossi to deem you all had worked too much, and for there to be a point for your team to just wait.

Doakes was eventually brought in but he barely stayed two minutes before he rushed out. You frowned, wondering why he was so upset, but kept back to your case work.

---------------

Much to your surprise, the BAU team started to look into officers past, but thankfully not into Dexter. In fact, they set their sights on Doakes, so all effort went into locating him. That was mainly on Garcia and Luke. Once Rossi and Matthews had declared him suspect number one, known only to your team, not the Miami PD, the case became hands off. It was a waiting game to see where Daokes would show up. All the profiling in the world couldn’t help with seeing where he might be going, but Rossi declared that the team should take a break while you all wait for some kind of news about his whereabouts. This was it, it was the chance you needed. Albeit noon, it provided enough time to get to Naples, stalk him, and do the rest. 

You and Spencer went to Dexter’s lab immediately and told him you needed to go. The three of you drove to his apartment where it was like deja vu. 

“Okay, so here’s how I operate,” Dexter explained, pulling out his trunk and duffel bags. “I’ve got all my kill tools in here, including the sedative, plastic wrap, and duct tape. Tonight, all we need is duct tape, plastic, scalpel, slides, dropper, and I’ll need to stop to pick up a chainsaw.” 

You glanced to Spencer to see how he was holding up. He had a bit of a sick look on his face. 

“Is the chainsaw really necessary?” he asked. 

“I typically try to use whatever my victims do. Unless it’s poison or suffocation. In this case, I think it’s highly fitting.”

“Y/N’s said that you usually kill them quickly, so they don’t feel pain. She said you do this with a large knife, like a hunting knife. Are we not using one tonight?” 

“Normally, yes, I stab them in the heart so it lowers the amount of spray and they have a rather quick death, but tonight, Jiminez deserves to feel everything.” 

“So this is the most personal kill you’ll do?” 

“Probably,” he responded with a bit of a shrug. “Alright. I hope you don’t love those clothes because there will be blood on them. I need to pack my apron, mask, and other protective gear. Y/N, you want your clothes?” 

“You let him keep your clothes?” Spencer asked, an undercurrent of hurt in his tone. 

“We thought it would be safer. He could wash them with his, and you’d never see them…” you quietly responded, feeling as if you were on trial.

With that, you told Dexter you wanted your clothes. You quickly changed into your old kill outfit, feeling an odd sensation being in them with Spencer around. Dexter offered Spencer some old clothes but he declined, rudely. 

Then the two of you set off in Dexter’s van. He stopped and picked up the chainsaw. Spencer said nothing to you while you two waited in the car. You were trying to gauge his thoughts and feelings, but he was giving almost nothing to go on. It made you feel anxious. You were somewhat terrified he’d leave this experience hating you, fearing you, seeing you as nothing more than a sick unsub. It could backfire and instead of bringing you closer together, it put you further apart. 

Dexter drove all the way to Naples, explaining how he was going to stalk Jimenez. Spencer didn’t have many questions, seeing as it was his job to know how unsubs thought, worked, calculated. He didn’t compliment or condescend him. 

Still, you were on edge about his reaction to all of this. 

Dexter drove up to the bar where Jiminez worked, and you all followed him, watching, waiting. You were sure Dexter was feeling the same thing you were - rush of adrenaline, all your senses sharpened, the ever vigilant eyes. 

Eventually, the stalking led you three to a run down cabin in the Everglades. It was extremely remote. After sitting with the engine killed for a long time and being sure Jiminez wouldn’t come out, Dexter turned to you two. 

“You remember this part, right?’ 

You nodded, in student mode once more. “Of course. We’re going to lure him out and sedate him.” 

“Wrong. You’re going to,” Dexter told you firmly. “Get in my bag, get the sedative.” 

Quickly, deftly, you did as you were told. You got the syringe out, opened the door quietly, and slipped out. You pulled the cap off and tossed it back in the car. Just as you were about to walk by Dexter’s driver window, he stopped you. 

“Wait, come here,” he quietly ordered. You walked back over and Dexter put his hand on yours. 

Red flags went off in Spencer’s mind. The simple touch seemed to make all those old feelings resurface. He always knew there was something further than just a friendship between you two. 

“Hold it like this, remember?” he instructed, wrapping your fingers in a particular way. “Keep the needle out, away from you. Go check, make sure he’s alone, create something to lure him out, and then attack from behind.” 

The small correction suddenly set Spencer at ease. Dexter was, in fact, just teaching you something. There was nothing remotely romantic about it at all. Some of the nerves he had built up, melted way.

“I know,” you reminded evenly, confidence in your tone, but not arrogance. You knew Dexter had done this dozens of times. But he also needed to remember he trained you extensively. 

You walked quickly and low to the ground as you went to a window and peeked in. You saw Jiminez and no one else. After a second, you snuck back over to the truck and turned on the radio, before going to hide against the wall again.

Your heart was racing, your hand was shaking slightly until you took a deep breath. 

Jiminez came out, you ran up behind him, injected the serum, and he passed out cold. You looked back at the van and held a thumbs up. Dexter jumped out of the van and Spencer following. 

Spencer’s instructions were clear: don’t get in the way.

You and Dexter had a system now and half the reason for this trip was to show him how you two worked together. You two grabbed all of the supplies from the back hatch. Spencer followed you and Dexter as you moved quickly in the cabin. Every inch was covered in plastic. You two moved around each other as if you were long time dance partners, every move choreographed, every move done with precision. 

Spencer stood and watched, objectively, trying not to let it sink in that you two were really about to kill someone. 

Next, you and Dexter carried Jiminez into the room, finished off the plastic, and got him strapped to the table after disrobing him. Not a word was spoken the entire time and Spencer couldn’t help but notice. Dexter didn’t have to tell you what was next, he didn’t have to instruct you on a single thing. This was as methodical as it could get. 

You got Dexter’s slides ready, along with his scalpel and dropper. Dexter busied himself with his clothing, getting all the gear in place. You and Spencer put on your face shields, to protect from blood spatter. 

“Y/N, do you have your knife?” Dexter asked. 

“Yes.”

“Go ahead and show me where you’d stop blood flow,” he evenly requested. 

It was becoming increasingly clear to Spencer as he watched you two that everything had a purpose, everything was clinical. There was no malice in it. It was only calculating. The entire time you three had been together today, there wasn’t any jokes, any goofing off. When you and Dexter interacted, it was educational. 

You put the knife over his chest, the tip barely cutting through the plastic. 

Dexter again, offered his hand, without warning, and wrapped his fingers around yours from the opposite side of the table. 

“Almost, just a hair up towards the chin and towards the left just a little,” he calmly explained. 

“Right,” you agreed, then pulled your blade away. 

“Wait, you’re not killing him?” Spencer asked. 

“No, this is Dexter’s kill. In light of who this man is, Dexter has elected to kill him the exact same way his mother was… with no mercy.”

As you finished your sentence, Jiminez began stirring. Dexter made his way to the head of the table. 

“Here we are again,” he said, picking up the surgical blade and slicing along his victim’s cheek. 

“What-- what the fuck?!” Jiminez gasped out. 

“I know. I keep asking myself that same question.” He absorbed the blood, and squirted it onto the readied slides provided by  you. 

“Let me out of here!” 

“But.. I’m finding it’s best to accept things you can’t change. Now is where I have a chat with you, so you know exactly why you’re here. I think you have a pretty good idea, and I certainly know why you’re here, but I have some company tonight that I’d like you to tell.”

He glanced at you and Spencer. Jiminez did the same. 

“Let me go. I got cocaine. You can have all of it.”

“It’s funny you should say that. I am off the wagon. But that was never my drug.”

“I’ll fucking kill you!” he cried out angrily. 

“Hey,” you quietly commanded, hovering over Jiminez. “My friend told you to talk. Years ago. You committed a heinous crime in a shipping container, a young woman, two boys. I want you to admit it.” 

“Fuck you!” Jiminez spat. 

You slapped Jiminez hard, but swift. “Cut the sht. You’re strapped to our table, huh? You’re not getting out of this. The least you can do is maybe clear your conscience before you meet your maker. So confess. What was it you did all those years ago to a young mother in front of her kids?”

Jiminez stared at you, he looked like he was about to spit at you or shout more obscenities so you warned him. 

“If you spit at me, or say anything other than what happened, I’ll make you wish you never opened your mouth. Are we clear?” 

He nodded once. 

“Fucking hell! Fine! I cut her up. I chopped her to pieces. I killed that bitch because she was fucking a cop! Not my fault her fucking kids were there! It had to be done!” he cried out. “It wasn’t personal! It was business!”

“It was personal for him,” you said, pointing to Dexter. “You killed a young mother in front of two innocent little boys. They grew up to be killers, just like you. You took their lives away. All for some blow? I hope you rot.” You looked up to Dexter, giving him a nod to signal you were done. Then you took a step back next to Spencer. 

Spencer glanced between you and Jiminez. Finally, it was clear to him. This man had no redeeming qualities. Cat adams was a walk int he park compared to him. He finally truly understood what this whole thing was about, how you two worked. 

“I’m going to kill you tonight, Mr. Jiminez for what you did to my mother, and because well, this is what I do best.” 

At that, Dexter picked up the chainsaw at his feet, started it, and began cutting. You’d seen this before, but not on a live victim. Spencer hadn’t been exposed to this, making you still very unsure where his mind was at. 

The goriness was done, the body was cut, ready to be transported into a bag and then moved. Dexter began going through his wallet. 

“Is this usually part of the routine?” Spencer asked. 

“No, but I’m curious,” Dexter passively said. He dug into the wallet and found a note that had the address of the bowling alley and the time he went. “What the hell?” he mused.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” you asked, making your way over to him to read what was in his hand. “What--”

“I only went with you, but I also told my sponsor where I went that night. Lila. Fuck!” he cried out. 

“Lila? I told you to get away from her,” you reminded angrily. 

“I’ve been trying to. But this means that she called Jiminez and told him where I was going to be.” 

“But why?” 

He threw his head back in thought. “She probably wanted us to be close. The night I met Jiminez, we got into a fight. I was upset, broken, she and I shared a hotel room. Nothing happened except us talking all the way into the morning. I bet she thought if he attacked me again, I’d go running to her.” 

“That’s why you and Rita have been on and off lately, isn't it? She found out about you and Lila.” 

“That, and some other things.” 

You shook your head. “Dex...” Disappointment laced your tone. “I told you that chick was bad news.”

“I know, I fucked up, but--” 

His phone rang and he held up a finger before he answered it. It was Rita, she asked if he had used her key to the house. He told her to get out of the house and call the cops. He hung up the phone and quickly explained he needed to leave because he thought Lila might be at Rita's house. 

“I can drop you two off at your hotel, but I really need to go,” he said. 

“No, we’re going with you to Rita’s. If Lila is there, we need to help you.”

“Are you just going to leave this guy here?” Spencer asked, gesturing to the body, sounding alarmed. 

“Well I can’t take him with me. Use some of those IQ points, Agent Reid.” 

“It’s Dr. Reid,” he spat back, his face eerily calm so you quickly stepped between them. 

“Okay, calm down. Dexter, let’s just go back to the city. Jiminez isn’t the type to share a cabin full of cocaine with anyone.”

“Can you dispose of him?” he asked.

“With what? We don’t have your boat.” 

“Shit, you’re right. Okay. We’ll just have to deal with him later. I need to go to Rita’s.” 

With that, the three of you took what you needed and loaded into the van quickly. Dexter nearly broke the speed limit the whole way. You changed into your old clothes and stuffed the bloody ones in a bag and kept them in the van for Dexter to deal with. Spencer took off the cardigan he wore over, leaving him in a normal shirt. 

The three of you walked up to Rita’s place. She apologized for bothering you before asking why you two were there. 

“We were out for drinks,” you quickly lied easily. “Good to see you again Rita, just wish it were better circumstances.” 

With that, Dexter spoke to the police while you tried to console Rita. When he was done, he said he was going to see Lila. 

“Let me come. You don't need to face this psycho on your own.” 

“No, Y/N, I really do,” he responded, walking quickly. He turned and put his hands on your shoulders. “Thank you, for coming ot make sure Rita and the kids are alright both of you--” he shot a look to Spencer “--but I need to face her on my own. If i show up with you, it’ll just add fuel to the fire of this jealous inferno she has. I can handle it. I’ll drop you at your hotel and then I’m going to her place. I’ll be fine.” 

And so he did. He drove you to your hotel where you hugged him quickly, called him an idiot for not listening to you sooner, to which he smiled and agreed, then he left to face his psycho sponsor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#inside the criminal mind #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fic #spencer reid #dexter morgan #dexter #dexter fic

[cluelessnamelessao3]

But It’s Not Funny

7. I Know

You spent the morning at Sans’ house. He cooked for you, which was nice, considering you’d caused him nothing but trouble—or at least, based on context, you assumed you’d caused him nothing but trouble (you couldn’t exactly remember).

All in all, he was just a nice person.

Part of you wanted to squint at him, furrow your brows, frown maybe, and wonder why he was being so fucking kind when he truly owed you nothing—the world was made of the worst kinds of people. No one was just inherently good, they all just wanted something. (Most of them just wanted some god damn fucking peace and quiet in a world of chaos, and, well, you couldn’t exactly blame them).

But… you couldn’t bring yourself to truly be suspicious of him. The shy, little smile he had given you as he placed a plate full of eggs and toast in front of you… it thoroughly disarmed you. He was being so domestic, and doing his best to cure your killer hangover, all while cracking jokes and making inane puns (“These are eggsellent,” “do these jokes crack you up?” and your personal favourite, “I think this is eggsactly what you need.”)

For being such a major dork, there was something so dangerously charming about him. On the other hand, and even more prominent than his cocky, jokester persona, there was a tiredness you could see in his eyes—a tiredness that you connected with.

He’d obviously been through something. Hell, he’d probably been through a lot of somethings, and you didn’t know, and you could never be sure because maybe he was just an always exhausted person; one of those people with issues getting enough sleep or staying asleep.

But it didn’t really seem like that was it. He seemed… like he knew something you didn’t. His eyes, their hollowness, the dimness of the pupils when he thought you weren’t looking, showed a sort of sorrow you weren’t sure what to do with.

And, when you’d screamed? He’d been startled, sure, but he’d glossed over it in a way… that was comforting, but not humiliating. It was like he was… was… agh, you didn’t even know what you didn’t know at this point.

In any case, you weren’t entirely sure what you thought of him other than that he was funny and sometimes nice.

It was much too soon to be trusting someone and thinking so fondly of them, wasn’t it? Wasn’t it?

You’d have to keep your distance if you wanted to stay safe.

“What’s rattlin’ ‘round in that head o’ yours?”

His voice stirred you from your thoughts and you blinked at him confusedly for a moment as you regained your senses. You shifted on the padded seat, picking up your glass of water to take a sip. He had some scrambled eggs in front of him, drowning in ketchup, but you hadn’t even seen him actually eat any of them. They just kind of… disappeared when you weren’t looking.

“Just thinkin’ ‘bout, uh, multiverse theory…” you answered with the first thing that came to mind—which wasn’t exactly a lie, you were always thinking about things like that, multiverse theory, Schrödinger’s cat, how a black hole worked, etc. Just the puzzles of the world that your brain couldn’t exactly wrap around.

But when you mentioned the theory, you could have sworn, for just a second, his eyes darkened considerably, but then he blinked, and they were back to normal and you were left wondering if maybe the light had played a trick on you.

He tried a new question, “So what was that… back at the bar? Why so early in the day?”

“What? You don’t start drinking at like… noon?”

He laughed and shrugged. That wasn’t a no, but it wasn’t a yes.

“Was it for fun or…?” Sans let his voice trailed off while he studied your face.

Your head tilted to the side as you considered his question, “Uhm, I guess I just wanted something to… lighten the mood, or… what have you…” You laughed, for a reason unbeknownst to you, “And by the lighten the mood, I really just meant, lighten my mood…”

He nodded, a stiff smile on his face, “Did somethin’ happen?”

You shrugged, indicating this was not a topic you were going to encourage discussing. Thankfully, he took the hint.

You took a bite of the eggs, savouring the texture and taste before swallowing.

He was staring at you and you tried not to be bothered by it. You ate another bite. He stared a little bit more. You could feel sweat begin to gather at the back of your neck, you scooped up another bite. He was still staring.

“Is there something on my face or am I just that good looking?” You asked around a mouthful of eggs.

“Er, just wonderin’… what… was that this morning?”

You swallowed, trying not to choke on your food, “Uh, anxiety attack.”

“Anxiety attack?”

“Yeah… it’s…” you took a deep and calming breath, “something I experience from time to time… there can be things that trigger them… but… it also can just be anxiety building up and up… until it, uh, sort of boils over in the worst way possible…”

“Hmm, okay.” He looked like he wanted to ask more but opted not to. You were grateful for that small mercy.

Silence fell between the two of you as you speared some more of your scrambled eggs onto your fork. A sudden realization hit you and you felt a wave of alarm, “OH, fuck, what time is it? I had work today!”

Your silverware clattered to your plate as you stood abruptly, a panicked expression on your face, “Fuck and I just left Luna at home all day. Oh god… I’m the worst.”

Sans got up too, albeit with a sense of calmness that you just couldn’t replicate at the moment, “Slow down, Smalls, I… uh, I called Frisk because you were out cold and I, uh, I told them you’d worked yourself to the bone, so you were feelin’ a bit ill and all.”

Your shoulders slumped with relief, “Oh…”

Why are you being so nice? You wanted to ask, but the words died on your lips as you took in his expression. He looked… so nostalgic, like he was reliving something, and you couldn’t tell if it had to do with you or if it was something back in his head—something you couldn’t see.

You settled for a short, “Thank you.”

“Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, let’s hurry. I feel like such a bad dog parent. Poor baby…”

The two of you walked in companionable silence the couple of blocks to your apartment building. You paused outside the building, “Why didn’t you take me home yesterday?”

“Well,” he looked sheepish, “I tried to ask where you lived, but you didn’t really answer.”

“Yeah, but you’ve been here before!”

“I’ve been here exactly once,” he argued, “Besides, I didn’t know the way from Grillby’s. I wasn’t trying to be a numbskull.” He smiled and you rolled your eyes at his dumb joke.

“Well, bonehead, thank you for takin’ care of me.”

You were about to walk into the apartment when his boney hand darted and gripped your elbow. You blinked, slightly startled, and not liking the way your skin crawled at being touched. He seemed to notice your tension and let go immediately.

“Sorry—I was just… I was wonderin’ if you wanted to stop by tonight, Paps is makin’ spaghetti and wants you and some friends to come by to enjoy it…” He looked so proud talking about his brother.

You weren’t exactly a social person, and you certainly didn’t like to go out places—especially when you’d already been outside of your comfort zone for so long already, but someone with such a sincerely deep and true affection for their brother… had a kind of integrity you just couldn’t say no to.

“Sure,” you said softly.

“Cool. See you then, smalls.”

 You weren’t sure what state you had expected your apartment to be in when you got there, but a dog on its own for over a day was never a good thing. When you opened the door, though, you were pleasantly surprised.

Luna turned out to be fine, if not a little frantic—and then incredibly excited once she noticed you had come home. You swept through the house to make sure she didn’t have an accident, then clipped on her vest and leash to take her for a long, and well deserved, walk. It was nice to just walk, enjoying the company of your sweet companion, and not have to worry about social graces, or whether or not you were being odd or cold or… or insensitive or any of the things people had accused you of in the past.

These were your times in which you could just be, and you savoured every minute of it.

The walk was nice, it helped to clear your head from the events of the last two days. Luna was also glad to be outside and reunited with you. Even though it had been far less than twenty-four hours since you had last seen her, she had probably felt like it’d been ages.

To your surprise and dismay, a very familiar fish-like monster and a not-so-familiar lizard-like monster stood outside the door to your apartment.

“Hey!” You called.

They turned together to stare, but it was Undyne who spoke, ���Hey, little punk!”

Luna barked once, short and low and you hushed her quickly—she’d never really forgiven Undyne for threatening you so much.

“Hey Luna,” Undyne greeted easily, not intimidated in the least by the short and stocky dog, “Have ya been keepin’ the pipsqueak safe?”

You scoffed, “I can keep myself safe!”

The smaller monster, a yellow creature that looked like some sort of mix between a lizard and a dinosaur, chuckled and mumbled something quietly to Undyne which had the boisterous fish-woman blushing with embarrassment.

“Hmpf,” Undyne snorted, “Anyway, you haven’t met yet, right?” She asked, gesturing between you and the little dinosaur-like monster. Undyne continued without waiting for a response, “This little lady is Alphys, she used to be the royal scientist…”

The little monster—Alphys—waved at you meekly, “N-not anymore, though.”

Her nervousness made you nervous. You waved shyly back.

Undyne had to work hard not to yell at the two of you for being so soft.

Apparently the two had come because they’d heard from Frisk you were under the weather. You let them into your small, cosy apartment and set about making tea for the cute couple.

“So, how long have you guys been together?” You asked casually, finding their flustered interactions both adorable and ridiculous. If you remembered correctly, this Alphys was the monster that Undyne was head over heels for.

Undyne sputtered, her blue scales turning a flattering purple-red hue, “That’s, uh, we’re… heh, punk, you’re a little jokester, aren’tcha?” Her smile was too wide, too strained, and the panic in her one visible eye hinted that perhaps you’d teased a little too much.

You had to fix this, “Oh, uh, er, well, I, yeah, I was just kidding, sorry! Y-you guys just seem like such good friends… Yeah… friends…”

That was smooth, you sighed.

It seemed to work well enough though because the tension in the room lessened considerably. Alphys hadn’t actually seemed phased, maybe she hadn’t heard you—or maybe she was still frozen with mortification. You hoped it was the former.

Undyne slammed her hands onto the counter, making you drop the mug you’d been holding. Thankfully, it didn’t break. You shot her a glare, and she had the decency to look a little sheepish.

“S-sorry, punk, just had an epitome.”

“Epitome?” You asked, incredulous.

“Is that not the right word?” She looked over to Alphys for help.

“D-d-did you mean to s-say epiphany?” The small dinosaur’s voice was the slightest bit scratchy, and a little nasally. It was so quiet that you had to lean in to hear her speak.

“Yeah!” Undyne exclaimed, not at all bothered by her word-choice mishap, “I had an epiphany!”

Suddenly she turned on you, her eyes narrowed and grin wide with devious glee, “A little birdy told me that you and Sans had a little date at Grillby’s!” She snickered, “And that you went home with him.”

“So?” You asked, indifferently.

“So, Sans doesn’t just take anyone home. Plus,” she said, enunciating each word with enthusiasm, “He invited you to dinner tonight—A dinner that was supposed to be just for close friends… which means that… you and Sans…”

She jabbed her finger into your shoulder, pointing at you accusingly, “Is there something your best pal, Undyne needs to know about you and Sansy?”

You laughed despite yourself, “Oh god, no, nothing like that…”

She frowned; disbelief clear in her features. You insisted, “No, Undyne, I’m serious—” you snorted, “Literally, I got really drunk yesterday and Sans found me at the bar and took me back to his house—”

Undyne was waggling her eyebrows suggestively and you waved off her ridiculous behaviour.

“Nothing happened. Like, nothing actually happened. I think I threw up and he took care of me,” you could feel your face light up with your own embarrassment. In a smaller voice you mumbled, “Uh, is it okay that I go to the dinner? If… If I’m not like close friends with anyone?”

Alphys spoke up, effectively silencing whatever Undyne had been about to say, “No!”

“No?” You felt your stomach drop with disappointment.

“N-no! I mean, yes! I… I mean that…” She flailed her claws, looking more and more distressed with each word, “I mean that no, no one would mind, and yes, we want you there. Frisk… F-Frisk would want you there, too.”

Her stuttering assurances didn’t actually assuage any of your newfound doubts, but as you spent the rest of the evening with the duo, you found yourself forgetting your insecurities and just enjoying their company.

As it turned out, you and Alphys had some things in common—mainly, an appreciation for anime. And while you were no ‘anime connoisseur,’ you also weren’t a newbie when it came to the topic. The two of you, with Undyne’s occasional input, swapped a few show suggestions with the promise of having a nerd-night marathon.

Soon enough it was time to head to Sans’ and Papyrus’ house.

The walk wasn’t long enough, you didn’t exactly feel prepared to be around people again, and you hadn’t gotten any time to recuperate. Undyne and Alphys chatted awkwardly, both slightly flustered by the other’s presence. It was so obvious they liked each other; you couldn’t understand why they weren’t already dating. If there were ever such things as soulmates, Alphys and Undyne would be the perfect example.

They, as a pair, were asymmetrical. Alphys, quiet, meek, smart, and Undyne, rash, bold, brave. They were so very different, but they both had in common their burning passion. A passion, a determination, you weren’t sure you’d ever felt before.

Taking in the sight of these two awkward lovebirds filled you with… envy. You wanted a friendship like that… hell, maybe you just wanted a relationship even the slightest bit close to their bond.

You laughed your discomfort off, pushing back your feelings of envy as you smiled and talked and joked with the two monsters.

Papyrus was ecstatic to see you, though he did not move to pick you up or touch you—you appreciated his respect of your boundaries. It even sounded like he was trying to lower his volume when talking to you.

You felt your heart squeeze with a sudden rush of affection for the impossibly tall and kind skeleton.

Dinner went well, though you did not expect how many people would be there. Frisk and the ever-pleasant Toriel greeted you when you walked into the house, and a large, furred beast—similar in appearance, though much broader, to Toriel—waved, a gregarious smile on his face. He introduced himself as Asgore—former king of all monsters, you tried not to be intimidated by that title. You also tried not to be intimidated by his towering form, he had to duck down just to fit in the house properly. Now that you noticed it, Toriel also had to stoop slightly just to fit comfortably.

You felt so small. You could feel the beginnings of panic creeping up your back to latch itself around your throat, making breathing hard. You were introduced to another monster (a cat-like one, Catty?) and another (and alligator this time? Bratty?). Another (Aaron?). Another (Shyren?). Another. And another. The names were beginning to blur and the faces, though new and distinct each time, were not memorable.

You felt out of place.

You just wanted a familiar face, but instead you kept being side-tracked, interrupted, blocked, and jostled around by all the people mingling in the house.

Your hands were shaking, and you found yourself in a corner of what looked to be the living room. It had transformed considerably from when you’d been there earlier. Probably Papyrus—you couldn’t imagine Sans working to prepare the house for company—had placed a table with various snacks in the centre of the room, which a few guests had permanently parked themselves beside.

Maybe later, once you’d orientated yourself just the slightest bit more, you’d head over there and grab some food before it was all gone.

But for now? You’d… just… take it slow. It would be bad enough to panic in a public setting. It was somehow worse to be panicking at your new friends’ house. They’d—or Sans, really—had invited you, Undyne and Alphys had gone out of their way to make sure you came, and everyone you’d met had been nice. You had no reason to be panicking.

Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave the corner; you just wanted to hide and observe. You weren’t sure you really wanted to be here anymore.

Was it selfish to wish that Frisk or Undyne had stayed with you? That Papyrus would have made sure you were alright? Or that Alphys—who was also a shy character—would have understood your nervousness and kept you company? Or… Or that Sans… the monster that had invited you in the first place, would have sought you out? Would have cracked a few jokes, gotten you to laugh, and made sure you felt comfortable among these new people…?

You felt selfish for wanting them to choose you above these people they’d known for much longer, because, honestly, you’d only known them for a few weeks—a month, maybe? And, really, you’d only known Frisk for that long.

“hi…”

You blinked, startled, “H-hello.”

“s-sorry for bothering you… you just looked… nice… oh… I hope I’m not bothering you…” the voice was so meek and small. It made you feel slightly better to know you weren’t the only one out of your element.

You looked up, studying the… monster in front of you. They looked like one of those cartoon ghosts you’d drawn as a child. You gave them a hesitant smile and the ghost-like creature blushed shyly.

“You’re not bothering me… I was, uh, actually, it’s really nice to meet you. What’s… what’s your name?”

“…Napstablook…”

You introduced yourself, feeling more at ease with the friendly little monster beside you. Napstablook, though a bit awkward and a bit sad, was nice.

You stuck with them for most of the party. Papyrus was making rounds through the guests, and seemed beyond ecstatic you’d found a friend, and Frisk, who seemed to be the life of the party, eventually found their way over to you again, introducing you as ‘The Boss’ to their little armless friend—Monster Kid.

Everything considered, despite your initial misgivings, you were glad you decided to come.

It wasn’t until later, when you were finally home and curled up in bed with your lovely companion, Luna, you realized: you hadn’t seen Sans at all. You tried not to feel offended, but you were a bit disappointed, he’d invited you after all…

You mentally shook off the feeling and let yourself drift to sleep.

The buzzing of your phone woke you though. You groaned, shifting around under the heavy covers to grab your phone off of the nightstand.

The screen was glaringly bright, and you squinted at it for a few moments as your eyes adjusted. One new message. Your eyes flicked up to the time, it was too god damn late for this shit, or maybe too fucking early.

Sansational [3:00 am]

sorry i missed you at the party. lunch?

You shook your head, smiling slightly. Lunch would be great. Your eyes closed once more, and you fell asleep dreaming off bright places with smiling faces. Everything was okay for today.

#binf #but it's not funny #binf undertale #undertale fanfiction #chapter 7 #chapter 7 but it's not funny #sans/reader #sans/female reader #sans undertale #undertale #fanfiction #alphys #undyne #alphyne

[eightinyz]

2. Painful Revenge ↦ Choi San Mafia!au

Pairing: Choi San x Reader (female)

Genre: angst, mafia!au (non celeb)

Warnings: some swearing, violence, mention of disease, death.

Words: 3k

Summary: You’re a young law student who are happily dating the handsome San. Everything seemed to go perfectly well, until his 20th birthday.

A/N: Please let me know your thoughts, my inbox is always open. And again, if there are any incoherences or spelling mistakes, please let me know, I’m not a native english speaker :)

I 1 I 

“I’m heading out, mom. Jiseon wanted to see me for lunch.” You were at the entry, swiftly tying your shoes. A little hum coming from the living room was your only answer. Due to her health issue –and probably because of yesterday’s conversation with your dad-, your mother sometimes was victim of disabling symptoms, forcing her to stay at home.

Friends in university were very few, especially in law school. You had some you met in your first year there, but Jiseon was someone you knew long before. In fact, she’s Jongho’s –one of San’s friends- cousin. She’s two years older than you, and, more important, an alumni from high school. Although, it was at Jongho’s birthday party last year that you had properly met and got to know her. Her cheerful and bubbly personality matched well with yours, now being one of your closest friend. She’s also a law student which makes her an even closer and more helpful person.

You arrived a little before noon at the restaurant, Jiseon was already there, waiting at a table. “Hey, sorry for making wait.”, you apologized, sitting in front of her.

“Oh don’t worry! I only came here a couple of minutes ago.”, she smiled warmly. “I’m starving though, let’s order.” A waiter came not long after, writing down your orders.

“How did your finals went?”, you asked after the waiter excused himself to the kitchen. Jiseon was at an important stage in your studies; she needed to pass those exams to get to the next step, things will start to be more hectic. “It will be more fun, without a doubt.”, you always joked about it with her.

“It was alright, I guess.”, she paused, “I hope.”, she laughed. “Oh, and sorry again, I couldn’t come to San’s birthday party. I really wanted to but-”

“We already talked about it Jiseon, it’s ok. Your studies first, always.”, you assured cutting her. “And, it was probably better like that, looking at the way the night went.”, you whispered the last part of your sentence, speaking to yourself but Jiseon heard it.

“Why, what happened?”, she curiously asked, frowning. As said, Jiseon’s and your personality matched well, maybe too well. She was just as curious as you, probably even more. She won’t let you go out of the restaurant without learning every little detail of the night.

“I don’t even know, too many things happened.”, you were about to continue when the waiter came back with your plates. “This one’s for me, yes, thank you.”, you smiled friendly to him and starting to eat. “20th birthdays are important, but it was just too weird. All of his friends were there, San had disappeared for a big part of the night, and the excuse he gave me was ‘I was at the bathroom.’”, you started to enumerate. “Seonghwa was there too.”

Jiseon only let out an “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

“It’s alright if it was just that.”, she said with a weird expression.

“Oh but you didn’t hear the best yet. Get ready!”, you faked an enthusiasm. “I woke up the next day with a stupid headache –without a drop of alcohol, may I add-, ‘till there, nothing crazy, right? But I might have eavesdropped.”, Jiseon gave you a not so shocked ‘really?’ look. “It just happened, ok? Wasn’t my fault.”, you argued. “But that’s not our priority. So I heard stuff, weird stuff. They were talking about drugging someone, etc. And the kitchen was full of San’s closest friends.”

Jiseon’s face dropped after your explanation, her curious eyes turning into a darker gaze. “Drug, you say?”

“Yeah, I truly don’t get it.”, you continued hesitantly. “And last night, San passed by. And he didn’t look well. He promised to explain everything, so I have to wait. I trust him.”

Jiseon stopped eating, she looked lost in her thoughts. Stiff. Not long after, she looked at her watch and exclaimed, “I’m so sorry, I just remembered I have a meeting.” She was already packing her belongings, not letting you interfere. “I’m really sorry, Y/N. I’ll call you later, yeah?”

“Oh, it’s ok, don’t worry.”, you were taken aback. “See you later then.”, you waved back, suddenly feeling lonely in the restaurant.

What the hell was going on.

Your life was taking a strange turn and you didn’t have control of it. The list of the ambiguous situations you got in since San’s 20th birthday was getting longer and longer. A part of you wanted to believe that all these things were pure coincidence. But the other, the law student part, strongly associate everything together. Well, maybe not everything. You still weren’t sure of the situation with your parents.

Your only course in the afternoon passed off slowly, although it wasn’t a big deal as you spend the whole hour thinking about the events that occurred the past days. Your private law teacher was giving you his last wishes before the summer break when you received a phone call from Jiseon. Pushing through the students, you picked up the call in a calm corner of the campus. “Hey?”

No response.

“Hello?”, you called again, “Jiseon?”

Still no answer.

You were about to hang up when some muffled voices reached to you. Increasing the volume of the call, you tried to focus on the voices. Jiseon might have called you accidently. “Jiseon, hey.”, you tried again.

“She was about to hear everything, and you know what San wanted.”, a male’s voice could be heard, weirdly sounding like Hongjoong.

“But you drugged her. Y/N doesn’t deserve that. And you know what I think about everything.”  Hearing your name in their conversation, you froze. “She has the right to know.”

“And you think she will still stay with him? Let alone that. Do you really think she won’t go to the police? She’s a fucking law student!” His voice was a little louder now, like he got closer to Jiseon. The phone might be in her pocket or her bag.

“She won’t, she can’t. You don’t know everything, Hongjoong. She’ll have to stay.” What were they hiding? Why did it look like those two were closer than you thought?

“Hongjoong, they find the asshole of the other day. Yeosang and Yunho are bringing him here.”, another male announced; he has to be too far from the scene because you couldn’t figure out who it was. 

Yunho and Yeosang?

What the hell was going on? 

“Ok, take him to the cellar.”, Hongjoong ordered. “So, you were talking about some stupid plan.”

You were waiting for Jiseon’s reply when the call suddenly got cut. Still in a rattled state, you let your body lean aginst the wall; you started to feel dizzy. Seconds later you received a message from Jiseon: “Sorry, I accidently called you apparently, haha. Was trying to take some stuff out of my bag. My meeting is over, let me make it up for our unfinished lunch. What about meeting at the small café close to San’s house in about an hour? :)” 

What was she trying to do? Did she really think you didn’t hear anything?

After a quick call to your mom –asking her how she was doing, and that you’ll be home a little late than usual-, you decided to head to the coffee shop, it was a little far from the campus and it would take around thirty to forty minutes by bus. San’s house was in the periphery, so the new café that opened a few years ago was great for the people that lived around. Jiseon might be close to the place to propose a meeting there. You would usually go to that café after spending the day at San’s.

The last stop before the café was several minutes away from it so you had to finish the remaining distance by foot. As you were walking, you curiously glance at San’s house. You still had some time before meeting Jiseon, so you decided to see if your boyfriend was home, last night’s conversation replaying in your head. 

You truly needed to tame that curious side of yours. 

Many cars were in front of his house but not his, making you question your next moves. You didn’t want to be face to face with unknown persons; you didn’t have the strength and mind to deal with that right now. You decided to head back to the café when you heard something odd coming from inside. It was muffled but you still managed to hear it. 

What the hell was going on?  

When watching horror movies, you always were the one complaining about the characters following weird sounds, fully knowing something bad was at the end of the line. Yet, you still slowly entered the house, careful not to make any noise. 

“You really thought you’ll get away with it, heh?”, you heard Hongjoong’s muffled voice from the cellar. “You can’t escape us.”, he laughed mischievously. “San, come here.”

Hearing your boyfriend’s name made your legs automatically follow their voices. Someone’s whines, as well as some mumblings could be heard from outside.

“We needed someone for this young man’s opening ceremony, and you were sent to us.”, another man exclaimed, you recognized as Seonghwa.

You were in front of the cellar, listening to the conversation inside. You could be caught at any time, but you were in a daze. You felt like the answers of your many questions were behind that door. Such a cliché scene.

The whines inside changed into painful screams after you heard several hits ; you needed to enter. Taking a deep breath, you pushed the door open, now face to face with a scene you hoped you never had to be. It took you a moment to grasp the situation. Hongjoong was on you right; seated crossed legged on a chair, with Seonghwa next to him, arms crossed on his chest. Yeosang and Yunho were on your left, both leaning back on the wall behind them. Jiseon was also there, behind Hongjoong. And there he was. San. He was in the middle of the room, a blood covered club in his hand. “So, it was that.”, you thought, horrified. Your arrival made everyone pause their movements, all eyes on you. Time stopped for a few seconds, no one knew how to react. San, wide-eyed, could only murmur your name, sorrowfully. Jiseon was the first person to move.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?”, she scurried towards you, trying to hold onto your arm. You quickly dodged her, stepping back. “It’s not what it looks like.”, her voice tone didn’t felt credible. You felt nauseous.

You stuttered a little, your eyes quickly going from one person to another. Lastly, you made eye contact with San, the club falling at his feet; his eyes still showing horror. Pushing Jiseon, who was in front of the door, you ran as fast as you could to the front door, San shouting your name behind you.

“Y/N!”, San caught you, running much faster than you. “Look at me!”, his hands forcefully got a hold of your face; you were getting hysteric.

“Is that what you were hiding? What are you doing? What the fuck are you?”, your questions were coming out of your mouth, without a second thought, punching his chest after each question.

“It’s not what you think. I promise you, it’s not.”, he calmly tried to reason you. “Please, calm down.”, his hands caressing your cheeks.

“Don’t you dare touch with those hands.”, you pushed him, making him lose his balance. “Don’t. Who are you?”, you whimpered your last sentence, tears streaming down your face.

San tried to touch you again, but you moved backwards, looking at him with fear. “Don’t touch me.” You gave him one last look, before pushing him again and run out of the house. You almost fell down the stairs under his porch, but you kept speeding up. San frantically called out your name, but soon, it was just a faint sound behind you. 

You kept running down the street, thankfully, it was not too crowded. After some time, you felt dizzy again and stopped close to the bus stop. You crouched down there and cried with your head between your hands. You had different scenarios in your head about the events that occurred the past few days, but this was too much.

“Are you alright, darling?”, an elderly woman bend down next to you, a comforting hand on your shoulder.

You shook multiple times before lifting your eyes, locking yours with the woman’s. “Yes,” you managed to let out, “it’s alright.” She helped you stand up, and wiped down dust out of your knees. “Just some couple things. It’s going to be alright.”, you choked.

The sweet lady gave you an apologetic smile. “If it’s boy related, don’t put yourself in that state. I don’t want to put fuel in the gas and be the cliché old lady in movies, so as long as it’s not about cheating,”, she paused, trying to figure out if it was, in fact, related to that situation, “maybe he has an explanation to whatever happened.”, she gently squeezed your arm.

You sniffed and bitterly wiped your tears. “I don’t think so, but, thank you.”, you tried to smile to her, and she returned it, hers more genuine.  

The bus came not long after. The ride home was agonizingly long, which, in a way, was also helpful. You had to put yourself back together before arriving home. Your parents couldn’t see you like that, especially your mother. With the loan, and the discovery of the truth last night, they didn’t need to know about what happened to you today. Taking out a compact mirror out of your bag, you finally took a glance at your miserable state. Your cheeks were covered with mascara smudges, your nose red, still runny; your eyes didn’t look any different. You harshly cleaned your face, still sniffing loudly. You were already repeating in your head the explanation you were going to tell to your parents. Although, you doubted the credibility of any excuse, especially with your miserable look. Parents always knew.

It was close to 5pm when you finally made it home. You slowly entered, remembering your mother’s message from earlier, telling you she would probably take a nap. Tiptoeing to the living room, you found her in a foetal position sleeping on the couch. You slowly checked on her –she often suffers from high fever, hopefully, she seemed alright. You still had some time before having to face them.

You promised yourself not to cry when your parents were still awake and around but it was probably the warmth of your shower that broke you down. Tears tickled your cheeks yet again, quickly changing into painful sobs. The scene that occurred earlier playing over and over in your head. Everyone knew. Even Jiseon. You couldn’t wrap your head around it. Were they some sort of gang? Thinking about it, Seonghwa, Hongjoong, Yunho and Yeosang were the only one there from San’s group of friend; they were all over 20. So that was why everyone was excited about San’s birthday. Like Seonghwa said in that cellar, it was his welcome party. He was finally part of it. 

Your father wasn’t at home yet when it was dinner time. And your mother was still under the effect of her meds to focus on your condition. The evening ran quietly, your occasional small talks echoing in the kitchen from time to time.

Your father still wasn’t at home when you went to sleep. It wasn’t that odd, but most of the time, he would let your mother know about his late night outings. With all the things going on lately, he probably needed that “only boys night”, like he always says. He loved to go for a drink or two with his closest friends and let everything he’s been holding in out.

After helping your mother get to her bed, you went to your room; the silence shattering your fake barrier, yet again. It was too much to bear. What were you supposed to do? Make a complaint? It was San after all, how could you? What would you say? But, the scene of him holding that blood covered club was forever inked in your brain. It wasn’t San, it couldn’t be. It was not your San. No one could change so drastically in a day. Unless, he always was like that and your San was not the real one.

Your thoughts got cut with a message notification. When you arrived home earlier, you threw you bag, with your phone in it, in a corner of your room, not paying any attention to it. Glancing at the device, they were hundreds of unread messages; not only from San but also from the other ones. You didn’t want to suffer more than you already did so you only locked your phone back, and went to sleep.

A loud bang roughly woke you up in the middle of the night. Confused, you quickly got up, heading to your front door. The light in your parents’ room lit up, and your mother came out of it seconds later. She looked as disoriented as you in her hastily worn dressing gown. You exchanged a confused look before your mother went to look from the peephole. Her face dropped. A small “No.” slipped out of her lips, like a whisper.

“Who is it?”, you curiously ask.

You mother didn’t answer. She gave you a long stare, took a deep breath then opened the door.

Who would have thought that your life was going to horribly change that night? Who would have believed if you told them that behind that door was the police? Who would have believed if you told them that these men came in the middle of the night to give you the worst statement someone could give? Something that was going to break you apart. Forever. Your father’s death.

I 3 I

#ateez #ateez scenario #ateez scenarios #ateez reactions #ateez imagines #ateez fanfic #ateez writing #ateez mafia!au #mafia!au #painful revenge #ateez san #choi san #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho

[pangtasias-atelier]

7, 9, 18: (Large ass) 21, 22, 25: ([extremely] immobile) 30, with Karel who was gotten healed during battle by Lucius that his staff was accidentally replaced with a cursed immobile sizing staff instead and uses it on Karel, fleeing from what he has done with the sword demon later his sister Karla discovers him with his new whale of a body that then doesn’t find it that bad.

7) Clothes ripping

9) magical weight gain

18) focus on body part

21) embarrassed about size, weight, etc

22) rapid weight gain

25) choice of size

30) pampering

Kinda took this a more crack route? Idk, this request kinda stumped me which is why it's been in the askbox for awhile. But I at least wanted to try it cause I liked the prompt. And this was pretty fun to write once I decided on not taking it super seriously

_______

Lucius was not having a good day. The day was not even decent, the threshold for even a small win long gone by the time noon came around. 

His hair had been extremely knotted and tangled when he woke up, a sight that several laughed about. His robes had subsequently been dirtied when Sain nearly trampled Lucius in his rush to offer and help brush the fair maiden's hair. Afterwards, his bath was interrupted by Serra's misplaced anger towards Lucius, claiming he had the men wrapped around his finger when they should be fawning over her. Serra was only more forceful with her point when Raven appeared, clamoring about some issue and requiring Lucius's opinion. 

Ushering them away so he could change in peace alleviated his mood somewhat. Except that led to Karel finding him. Which wasn't a bad thing perse, the Sword Demon much calmer around Lucius than any other in the army. But that led to everyone else absolutely fearful to approach Lucius. So when he found out that his staves were all somehow misplaced, his requests to borrow one were unable to be formed since no one wished to be near the sword demon that trailed him.

Hector, ever foolish yet brave, happily gave Lucius a stave. The loot from the previous battle, a stave stolen from a chest that the Black Fang held. And said staff held a design Lucius had never seen before, its gem somehow seeing through his very soul. 

With no other staff, Lucius glumly accepted it, a small thank you coming out of his pursed lips. 

The day purely for marching, the day surely took its turn for the worse when they were ambushed. Except Lucius found himself separated from the main pack. Alone with the Sword Demon, several slumps sounding far away from them whenever Karel disappeared for a minute. 

Karel's claim of the last one rang true, nor more weapons sounding. A couple of scratches and one gash on Karel's body, Lucius had offered to heal; it was only proper as a servant of St. Elimine and as a meager thanks for Karel protecting him --even if Karel was killing just to kill. 

And today's whole chain of events, somehow led to this. 

An immobile blob known as the Sword Demon in front of him. Lucius has no fathomable idea of how much Karel grew or how much he even weighs. Karel's stomach alone looks far bigger than any livestock he's ever seen. Walking around Karel took far longer than any walk around a human should take. It felt like an eternity walking around Karel as he was realizing his mistake. He had tried to keep his wandering eyes away, yet they strayed towards Karel's ass, the meaty globular mountains of fat cascading under and around Karel. 

Lucius had a hard time deciphering Karel's new face, the massive stretches of cheeks blocking a good view of Karel's eyes. A threat thrown his way, Lucius was unable to leave, feeling the culprit of Karel's transformation. Karel's hands shaking was all he was able to do now, his sword lost on the ground from his barrel arms unable to hold anything. 

Lucius's ask for aid and a hand on Karel's stomach only produced a small moan from Karel, the noise barely perceivable over his stomach. 

Weighing his options, he asked St. Elimine for forgiveness before leaving, unwilling to deal with anything else for the immediate meanwhile. 

Karel's tranquility soon dissipated as Lucius left, his anger returning from the situation. An exaggeratedly blown up caricature of his former self, he was no Sword Demon, he was merely a blob. And yet, that title didn't hold such negative thoughts in his mind. His weight warm and as if coddling him, he felt a peace like none before, one only felt when he was around Lucius. 

His peace was disturbed when footsteps drew nearer. Two sets of them. Both of them familiar. Lucius had brought his sister.

Karla's eyes wide, her mouth unable to decide whether to remain wide open or clench, she sighed before walking away. 

Lucius left alone again, Karel only felt double the sedation of calmness. 

"Why me? What am I going to do?" Lucius paces around Karel's body, mind beseeching St. Lucimine as to what he had done to deserve such a stressful day.

#fat emblem #male weight gain #male wg #feeder emblem #my writing #fat!karel #fat!elibe

[themattress]

Rewatch: My Bride is a Mermaid Ep 23 - 24

Two episodes that are absolutely hilarious...and then sucker-punch you HARD with Feels.

Episode 23: The Man Without a Past

The episode opens up with a Masa Today, which launches us right into the main conflict: Masa is revealed to have no memories of his past beyond when he began working for the Seto Gang 10 years ago. At the same time, Akeno reveals that she is searching for her older brother, who disappeared 10 years ago while on government business to the Seto Inland Sea, and she wants to kill him for bringing shame upon the Shiranui family...and on a more personal level, for abandoning her. Yeah, anyone can see where this is going: Masa is Akeno’s brother who got amnesia after being struck in the head by a drunk Gozaburo. Desperate to save Masa’s life, Nagasumi and Gozaburo team up to stop him from recovering his memories, but their crazy attempts only end up causing that very thing to happen.

There is a lot that is funny in this episode: Gozaburo and Nagasumi actually needing to work together for a common goal, Sun constantly addressing Akeno as “Aki” which she never did before and never will again as though she just randomly decided she’d give Akeno a pet name for that day and that day only, Akeno briefly losing her memory and reverting back to her 4 year old state of mind, and the ultimate pay-off to Nagasumi’s homoerotic feelings for Masa with him pretending to be outright in love with him in order to keep his memories suppressed...a choice that he is seriously, hysterically regretting by the end of the episode.

But when Masa actually recovers his memories, the episode takes a shocking turn into true emotional sincerity. Masa has a mental encounter with his past self and expresses shame and disappointment in his whole existence being nothing but a lie, and he is willing to fade away to give the original persona his body back. His past self, however, makes him see all of the friends - family, really - that he made in the 10 years he’s been around, telling him that he can’t just disappear from their lives. And so it’s his past self that fades away, with parting words asking Masa to be there for his sister. Akeno, in 4 year old mode, is crying for her big brother and it’s legitimately heart-wrenching: for all her teenage self’s declarations of hatred and a desire for fatal vengeance, deep down all she really wants is to have him back. Masa goes over and hugs her tight, saying that even if he’s not the brother that she remembers, he wants to be the brother that she has now. And at the end, he even tells the guilt-stricken Gozaburo that he bears no grudges toward him for accidentally causing him amnesia, and that he loves him, Sun and the whole Seto Gang. It’s beautiful, and it actually got to me.

Can the show possibly top it? Yes. Yes, it can.

Episode 24: Farewell, My Friend

Kai Mikawa and Hideyoshi “Chimp” Sarutobi have consistently been two of the most unlikable characters on this show, but this episode pulls off one of the best redemptions for jerks that I have ever seen, up there with Eddy from Ed, Edd n’ Eddy and Lars from Steven Universe. And it must be noted that it’s the other episode in this anime that has no basis in the manga, which means this show’s writers must be applauded for pulling such a fantastic turnaround. 

It starts when Kai, in a typical narcissistic mindset, is trying to hide the fact that he was visiting a hospital because he’s developed a boil on his butt. While the rest of his classmates actually guess that this was the case, Chimp refuses to believe it because he’s grown to care for Kai as a true friend and doesn’t think he would keep information from him unless it was something serious. This leads to Chimp staking out the hospital and overhearing part of a conversation that makes it sound like Kai has something terminal. He confronts Kai about it and Kai, thinking Chimp knows the truth about his “ass acne”, swears him to secrecy, which Chimp takes as Kai being so noble that he doesn’t want everyone else distraught and worried over him. However, Chimp is unable to keep this promise as he has to tell his classmates what’s going on so that they won’t act antagonistic toward Kai even when he’s being a jerk. This info then spreads to the rest of the class, and to the teachers, and to the whole freaking town, with absolutely everyone pitching in to pamper Kai and celebrate his existence in order to make his “last days” the best possible for him. What a wacky misunderstanding, eh?

But even amidst the natural humor in this situation, legitimate character insight is being given to Kai. As an agoraphobic who grew up around a bunch of yes-men, Kai has developed the belief that nobody loves him naturally and that he can only get love through flaunting his money, his good looks, his material goods, etc.  And from this he developed an entitlement complex when he feels he isn’t being given his rightful due from others. So when everyone starts showering him with love and kindness, he can’t recognize it for what it truly is and instead thinks that everyone has just “come to their senses” and are treating him the way he “deserves” to be treated. Even when he learns of his “terminal illness” from a TV report, he can’t connect the dots between it, the way people have been treating him, and how they feel about him - he’s too consumed by the horror of believing himself to be dying. The fear turns to sadness, and then to anger and hatred toward one target: Nagasumi Michishio. Kai decides that if he’s dying, then he wants to take his rival whom he is so envious of with him.

A showdown at high noon ensues, with Kai even taking off his protective space helmet and suddenly having white hair for...reasons. But Nagasumi’s improved reflexes from all the time he’s spent dodging attacks across the series combined with the emotional breakdown Kai is having leads to Nagasumi being victorious. The scene transitions into a huge tear-jerker once Kai begins sobbing and admitting what his real problem is: he genuinely thinks he has no real friends and no-one that truly loves him, whereas Nagasumi does and he’s jealous of that, and the thought that he’s now going to die without that being rectified while Nagasumi gets to live a Happily Ever After with Sun is more than he can bear. “SOMEONE LOVE ME BEFORE I DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!” he screams up toward the sky, all onlookers choked up with pity.

With Sun and Nagasumi leading the way, all of Kai’s classmates gently protest his claims: they’re his friends and they love him, they wouldn’t have done all that they’ve done for him if that wasn’t the case. And Kai never needed to ask for love from them, or buy it from them, because otherwise that isn’t really love. Sun may not love him romantically, but she still loves him all the same, and so does his rival Nagasumi which is the whole reason why he even accepted his potentially fatal challenge. And then the episode delivers the biggest gut-punch when Chimp, fucking CHIMP, rushes to Kai’s side, crying his eyes out as he declares that he loves him more than anything in the world and that if he could he’d gladly take his place and die instead of him. In-universe, this is what fully breaks Nagasumi, who has to turn away as he begins sobbing uncontrollably (MAJOR props to Eric Vale and Anthony Bowling’s voice-acting; they sell their emotional lines in this episode and especially in this scene perfectly.)

Kai flashes back to the various times he’s hung out with his classmates and realizes that he was never alone, he never lacked love and friendship. He was just too self-absorbed to recognize what was right in front of him the whole time. As he lays down to die, he sums it up by saying “All of you have shown me how big your hearts can be...but me, all I did was show you how small mine was.” He apologizes to Chimp for taking him for granted, saying that he’s the best friend a guy could have, and then he thanks Sun and Nagasumi and tells them to be happy together. And then...he passes on. OK, not really, but the scene plays it totally straight and does it so well that for a moment you might actually forget that his terminal illness isn’t real and was just a misunderstanding. Naturally, this creates a huge mood whiplash when we suddenly get the final scene where the status quo reasserts itself at school, with everyone hilariously reacting to the fact that they went through all that emotional turmoil for nothing.

But as we’ll see in the two-part series finale, Kai and Chimp have come out of this experience somewhat changed: they aren’t the complete pricks they were before and even play a major heroic role, with Kai especially showing how much both Sun and Nagasumi mean to him. While Chimp on his own still isn’t a particularly good character, he is an excellent accessory to Kai, whom this anime has made one of the strongest characters in the cast over the course of just this single episode. Kai, you definitely have my love. (And Kai/Chimp OTP 4evah!)

#My Bride is a Mermaid #Opinion #Analysis

[sickcai]

it’s not even noon yet and I’m making myself a lil drank purely because I’ve been having ‘evil bitch thoughts’ of over thinking my relationship bc it’s going *too well*

I’m also starting new birth control so my psycho bitch instincts are at an all time high. Every little thing I’m noticing. ‘Don’t worry about her she’s blah blah blah’ ‘You’re different because you’re not etc etc etc.’ And it’s fucking me up. I can’t help but think he’d want to be with someone else because the sparkle in his eye when he talks about his past experiences, Wild shit or not, involving some random chick hurts a little. A little too reminiscent and more like “I’m slowing down because of you” I don’t want that. But I don’t know this for sure. There’s still some warmth in his words and kisses and I feel bad when I get in my head while he’s being affectionate because he deserves all of my affection and love but, I’m so guarded. In this little head of mine. Maybe I’m drunk and the last few days are getting to me but, I need a distraction. I need something because my confidence is thinning and I want nothing more than to disappear from him until it comes back but I can’t. That’s not fair.

My thoughts are a constant battle of debating if I am cold because of situation x and feeling bad about being cold. Oh! But wait I deserved to be cold in this instance! Jk feel bad and regret it later b*tch. But maybe? No jk I’m just a bad person and of course Im being toxic *eye rolling shock*

I trust him 1000000% but I get into thought loops of how could you hurt me and get silent and shut him out and it’s not fair to either of us. He’s been so open to communication why the fuck can’t I out this into words with word vomiting. I’m gonna drink some more and clean and maybe sit down to a classic movie I actually love to de stress. Hell smoke a bowl. I just can never let myself have anything nice can I?

Cheersx

#actually bpd #thought loops #borderline personality disorder

[ellana-ravenwood]

Silly Bat’ - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Just a short silly fic BECAUSE WHY NOT RIGHT ?! I like to imagine that when Bruce doesn’t have the stress of taking care of Wayne Inc or of his nightly activities on his back, he’s just a very funny and kinda weird man...So I wrote something about it, hope you’ll like it : 

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

There were times, when it was just you and Bruce, where you genuinely wondered if your husband wasn’t completely crazy. 

Not in a bad way. Not in a “Joker” or “Harley Quinn” way. Nooooo. In a “that man is completely silly, and I’m really starting to question his sanity...is he on drugs ? Drunk ? I don’t know, but it’s funny” way. Yes. Exactly in that way. 

Often, when it was just the two of you, behind closed door, he would...loosen up. And not just a bit. He would loosen up completely and go on full “goofball mode”. 

You couldn’t count the number of times he started a pillow fight, a war with water guns (though since Alfred yelled at you two as if you were children making a mess, you switched from water guns to nerf guns), a tickle fight or a stupid and ridiculous fashion show etc etc. 

You still remembered how your abs hurt after the fit of laughter you had when he came out of the bathroom wearing an awful bright green tuxedo vest a random fashion house send him, without an undershirt, flexing all of the muscle of his chest and all, some sweatpants on of which he tucked the lower part in cowboy boots Clark gave him, and a lampshade as a hat...Where was he even finding those ideas ?

Yes. When it was just you and him, he was a different person. That no one else but you, not even his children, not even Alfred, or any of his close friends would ever see. A Bruce completely carefree, and also slightly insane...but hilarious. 

Every time you ended up having the Manor to yourself (which was very rarely, with five children and a butler who almost never took days off), it would even be better, your playground being bigger. 

One of your favorite “Silly Bat” time was when you played hide and seek (yes, grown ass adults could totally play hide and seek) and you went to hide in a tree in the garden...And got found by Clark. 

The embarrassment on Bruce’s face when he was trying to explain what you two were doing was priceless...In the end, he said that you were playing a “sexual version of hide and seek”, because it was easier to explain than to tell his friend that he was actually playing the actual game, like a damn child, with his beautiful wife...

Clark was impressed. After all, he found you in a tree, so he wondered how you two were going to make lo...Your laughter stopped his trail of thoughts. Your superfriend misinterpreted your laugh, thinking you were mocking him because he was blushing, and that was good (for Bruce). It settled the end of the story. 

Soon enough, Superman was laughing too, and it took everything in Bruce to not even crack a smile, to keep his stoic stance, and slightly bored facial expression, so that he wouldn’t get discovered. Ooh you loved that man. 

You really loved this kid like part of Bruce, you felt like he deserved to have those moments, because his childhood was ripped from him when he was but an eight year old child...So you indulged him whenever he had one of his “I’m a bit of a weird idiot” time. 

Like today. 

For the first time in six months, you had the entire house for yourselves, and you took advantage of it the night before (Bruce took his weekly night off of patrol, letting his children and other partners handling things), making love in every single room, needless to say, you fell in a deep sleep when the first light of morning arose...You woke up alone in bed, but Bruce’s side was still quite warm, so he was probably downstairs or in the bathroom. 

Bathroom was empty, and you saw only your naked reflection in the huge mirrors all around the room. With a loud yawn, you put on one of your Husband’s sweatshirt, long enough for you to play as a dress, and didn’t bother to put some underwear on. You knew your Bruce, they wouldn’t last long on you anyway. 

It was almost noon when you came in the kitchen to get a late breakfast. You definitely had a deep craving for some Cap’n Crunch right now. 

Still a bit sleepy, you first thought you hallucinated as your gaze fell on Bruce, standing in front of the kitchen counter, settling the breakfast down (how cute). You rubbed your eyes vigorously and...Nope, the sight was still there. 

You took a few more steps, quite confused, and he turned around as he heard you. Smiling widely, he came to you as if nothing, and planted a kiss on your forehead. 

-Breakfast ready my love. I made some hashbrowns, bacon, eggs, blueberry pancakes...and of course, a bowl full of Cap’n Crunch and cold milk. 

It was really cute, how he made you breakfast whenever it was only the two of you. Contrary to popular belief, he was quite a good cook...But, you just couldn’t wrap your head around what you were seeing right now. Unable to contain yourself, you said : 

-Hum...Bruce, what are you doing ? 

-Whatever do you mean ? 

You approach him, and his smirk convinces you that he damn well know what you mean. Still, you explain : 

-I mean...why are you wearing one of my shirt ? 

He looks at himself, and gives his person an appreciative look (arrogant bastard), nods a bit, and look back at you, his cocky facial expression making you narrow your eyes in slight annoyance : 

-Payback. Cause you’re always stealing mine. 

Payb...What ? He gestures to you, and of course, conveniently, you are in indeed wearing one of his shirt. His huge ass shirt that was way too big for you. That served as a dress. You gave him a look, trying to defend yourself, no you weren’t always stealing his sh...his eyes and one of his eyebrow raising shut you up. Yeah ok. He was right. You had the bad habit to steal all of his shirt, to the extent he had to buy new ones often because all of them just magically disappeared (you had a place under your king sized bed where you hid them...Alfred helped, because he thought it was cute). 

But still. His shirt were so big you used them as some sort of dresses. They were going almost all the way down to your knees. You could hang around in your house with them, in front of your children and butler, without it being weird. But your shirts ? On Bruce ? You were trying so hard not to laugh. Especially since you knew that’s what he was waiting for. Holding yourself as best you can, you sit next to him and say : 

-...You are aware that you’re a giant compared to me right ? It looks like you’re wearing a really strange...Crop top. 

-I am aware, and I like it. I’m gonna set a new trend across Gotham.

-One of my extremely small shirt as a crop top, and wearing only boxers ? 

-Yup. 

-People love you so much that I bet they’d find this idea brilliant...

-You think ? 

-Yes, especially since it’d give them a glimpse of your very handsome body. I’m gonna have competition. 

-Haha, no one compares to you, you’ll never have any competition. 

-That’s cute. But you still look ridiculous. 

-Non sense, I look fabulous. 

-Fabulously ridiculous. 

-You have no fashion sense, wearing such baggy clothes like my shirts. You’re not showing how gorgeous your body look with such things on. 

-Oh ? 

-Yes. Let me give you a make-over my love. 

You smile and roll your eyes. Yes, he was definitely in one of his “Silly Bat” mood. As usual, you were definitely enjoying it. 

He raised from the stool he was sitting on, and got even closer to you. Kissed the top of your nose, and with one swift move, took his sweatshirt off of you. 

-Here. Fixed it. Now you’re the most beautiful woman in the World. 

-I’m naked. 

-Exactly. Perfect. 

You chuckle a bit, of this little and short laugh he loved so much, and his feature soften even more. He’s unable to hold his sweet smile for you, and the sight of your Bruce, smile out, wearing only his boxers and one of your shirt that was way too small for you, turns into one of the best sight you ever had. 

-You’re not too bad yourself. 

-It’s because of your shirt, adds character. 

You giggle some more, and his hands go automatically on your waist at the sound of your cute laughter. He brings you close from him, and your lips connect with his in the most tender kiss ever. God you loved moments like this, when it was just you and him. 

When he could be silly, weird, affectionate, without the fear of someone seeing him, without the fear of ruining his reputation (reputation that was important to keep up for a lot of reasons). 

When he could make you laugh to the point that your abs would hurt so much afterward. When he could just be himself a bit more...The thought of some people discovering this facet of his personality was hilarious. 

Imagine Clark, on a mission with the dark and broody Batman, being very confused as to why said dark and broody Batman wears a bright yellow suit and a lampshade on his head ? Hilarious. 

His kids sometimes saw a bit of that part of him, and Alfred too (he loved it, it reminded him of the boy Bruce used to be before his parents’ murder). Nerf guns wars were a regular occurence this later days. 

But most of the time, people only saw his darkest side, his saddest one...And you were honored that he graced you with his childlike side on a regular basis.

One thing was troubling you however : 

-Tell me Bruce, my dear heart...

-What my love ? 

-How exactly did you put my shirt on ? 

-...With great difficulties. That’s how I did it. Your shirts are really small, not easy to slip it on. I learn how flexible I could be thanks to it though. 

Your laugh makes his heart fly and sing. Only you could have such an effect on him. Just a smile or a glance...And he’d feel lighter. Like he wasn’t carrying the weight of the World (or at least Gotham city) on his shoulders. 

He was thankful that you were in his life. Without you, he would have buried this side of him deep within himself, never to let it out ever. Without you, he would only be the dark and broody Batman, the arrogant, womanizing and cocky Bruce Wayne. Without you, he would be miserable. He was beyond glad that you tumbled in his life one day, and just...stuck around, with your bright smile and sarcastic jokes. You were perfect. 

Especially when naked. 

He hands were starting to get hungry, and you chuckled a bit more as he tickled you unintentionally. 

-Aaah, maybe I could set a trend too. 

-Uh ? 

-Well yeah, how would I look like if my husband set a trend, the soon to be famous crop top/boxers look, and I wouldn’t do anything ? 

-What trend would you set ?

-This one. The Naked look.

-...The Naked look ? 

-You said it was perfect.

-It’s perfect for my eyes only. 

-Thanks...

-No, I mean, any men, and women for that matter, would think it’s perfect too ! You really are the most beautiful woman on the planet. But...It’s..I...Only for me. 

-Bruce, sharing is caring. 

-Maybe, but I have no intention of sharing you. 

-That’s not very nice, for a self-proclaimed philanthropist. People would be disappointed. 

-Fuck ‘em. 

-Oh, and he swears. Outrageous. 

He smiles wickedly at you, and you return the same smile. He loved when you were messing with him (as long as it wasn’t going too far...then he’d get all pouty and frowny, which was kinda cute, but anti-climatic). 

-I can show you how outrageous I can be. 

-Oh yeah ? 

-Yeah. 

-Mr. Wayne, I am appalled by your behavior. 

He brings you closer to him, and lift you up the floor, his hands behind your thigh. You automatically wrap your legs around his waist, and peck his lips lovingly. 

He kisses you deeply, and you moan lowly in his mouth. You pull away, and rest your forehead on his as he puts you down on the counter.

-Good thing no one will ever know what we’re about to do on the counter.

-Oh yes, they’d be very...appalled if they knew. 

You burst out laughing, and kiss him once more. He pulls away, and just before plunging his head in your neck, says : 

-I love you (Y/N). 

-I love you Bruce. 

Your shirt was difficult to put on for him, but definitely easy to rip off of his body. 

FIN.

#bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne imagine #bruce wayne fanfiction #batman x reader #batfam #batfam x reader #Batman imagine #batman headcanon #Bruce Wayne headcanon #Batmom x Bruce Wayne #Batmom #Batfamily #batfam imagine #Batfamily x reader #Batman fanfiction #fluff #fluffy Bruce Wayne #also #Silly Bruce wayne

[anniehowsback]

13X02: the good, the bad, and the bucklemming

I don’t have particularly strong feelings about a certain writing duo, so when one of their episodes rolls up I just strap on for the ride, keeping in mind what their strengths and weaknesses generally are.

I’d say this episode was a mix of both. I enjoyed it well enough, and I’m looking forward to see where the story is going to go, but let’s be honest: this was just setting the pieces on the board, exposition, and opening up the storyline without bringing it forward yet. This is exactly their forte, so kudos for assigning it to them.

((as an aside, I imagine the Writing Room with whatever current Showrunner pointing to a whiteboard saying they need to establish six key points before they hit the next episode or the season arc is fucked, and everybody just turns to look at Eugenie and Brad and they just say ‘on it’ and ‘but we’re re-inventing the lore to fit them in’ and the Showrunner just sighs and says ‘do what you gotta do, but get it done’))

Good

I enjoyed Alex Calvert’s performance in this one more that the first episode. I found it more nuanced, though I suspect the first suffered from wanting us to believe Jack was evil at the beginning (There was no grey area. He just made evil expressions, so of course you have to think he’s straight up evil; kinda killed the suspense for me). His expression when he recalls Lucifer talking to him in the womb, and then later at the skip with Sam, was very well done.

I like that Asmodeus is an antebellum slave-owner type. A white supremacist is exactly the kind of villain we need now. And I think the actor really pulls off the total-white look, which not everyone can *cough*Jared*cough*.

I’m also betting that “the utter pain and humiliation forged a bond between us” and the fact that the first thing he tried to do with Jack was free his pet project the Shadeem, of whom even Lucifer is scared “as well he should”, means that, despite his party-line, Asmodeus has no interest in serving Lucifer, he totally wants some payback.

Sam is getting to be more and more awesome, which I approve of greatly. He saves Dean (again! yay), he bonds with Jack... looking forward to his arc this season. I love that his faith in Jack is in part driven by his belief in Kelly’s and Cas’ judgement call, and that he’s essentially honoring their death by continuing their work.

Donatello’s always fun, though the material they gave him was pretty mediocre.

Dean... If we printed and bound the amounts of times we’ve said Jensen deserves an emmy, we’d get something the size of the encylopedia britannica. Basically all of his close-ups this episode are great little stories in themselves.

Hallucinating sheep ----> Song of Solomon (LOL). Where -off the top of my head- the beloved’s hair is like a flock of sheep descending mount Arat in the golden sunset, or something like that. Unsubtle as a brick, but most people will have hardly noticed anyway.

The Black Spur Bar, where Dean sits alone looking at his phone (doing what?? texting Jody??? They must have called her to pull the APB on Jack the moment they hit the road. There’s no one else to call... perhaps he was looking at a certain instagram album he made a couple of summers ago?) with a glass sitting next to him and a beer opposite him. A drink he polishes off before leaving, but also before getting wasted, or hooking up with yet another blonde watress ready with a sympathetic ear. And by doing so he thwarts Asmodeus’ deceit.

Jack doesn’t like conflict, magically disappears to escape it, just like crazy!Cas did. This time it’s Sam who goes to find him, and he handles it much better than Dean did. Progress!

Jack using his power reflexivly because “it hurts!” Called it.

Nice Bunker shots.

Interested in seeing where AU!Michael goes from here.

Bad

I usually have too much respect for the profession to say this, but the directing had some straight up mistakes in there.

Two shots of Asmodeus raking his fingers down his scars? You have to pick one, that’s not the kind of thing that you can repeat, especially not in the same fricking scene. Come on!

Mary takes only two (2) steps back from Michael and Lucifer fighting. Yeah, sure. I mean, I guess you want to keep her in shot, but really? Really??

Speaking of Mary, she could totally take RandomHunterDude, even if she’s unarmed and he’s got a machinegun. You could have her bracing herself to deliver a kick in the nuts from the ground just as Lucifer kills him, and you still get him rescuing her, but without her looking like an incompetent fighter, which she is not.

The angels posturing like gunslingers at high noon. No, just... no.

The Bucklemming

“No females since the wars” I’m sorry, what. W H A T. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Unless they adress demons/angels specifically possessing all the women, everywhere (doubtful), how is it even possible that ALL WOMEN have been eliminated in this universe? The only possible solution is that this particular RandomHunterDude is so repulsive to women that they’ve been giving him a wide berth since the apocalypse. Yeah, let’s go with that. (Or it’s a meta point. But even then it’s still stupid).

“Nature vs Nurture debate!” “He’s a Nephilim, the son of Lucifer” “Nephilim become more powerful than the angel who sired them, which is Lucifer, who is an archangel” “Mould him!” “Amara sucked my soul out so I have trouble with moral conundrums” “This is hitting rock bottom” “Kids are always seeking their father’s approval” etc... oh, Eugenie and Brad, what would you do if suddently you couldn’t have your characters just speak their themes and motivations as plainly as possible *shakes head fondly*

“You can’t possibly know what I want”. A lot of people read this as the beginning of a cringe-worthy redemption arc for Lucifer. It’s possible. I’m of the opinion that he shouldn’t be redeemed, but I’m also not convinced that he is getting redeemed. See, we need our John mirror this season (we need several, truth be told), someone who embodies all the negative aspects of John’s parenting: the neglect, the projecting expectations, the rejecting his sons’ free choices, the burdening with unreasonable responsibilities... making Lucifer this kind of parent would be easy. But then there wouldn’t be any reason for Jack to want to follow him, and no story to tell. You need to put enough ‘good’ in him that when he’s reunited with Jack he’ll actually seem like a viable choice.

Verdict:

This Fuckhands McMike storyline is A W E S O M E and I can’t wait to see how it progresses.

Next Episode:

I hope you’re all ready to watch Missouri die, because trust me she is not getting out of it alive. It’s Patience’s origin story, which means that Parental Figure bites the dust.

#spn 13x02 #supernatural 13x02 #meta