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marauderundercover · 3 years

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This Side of Normal Chapter Two

AO3

Jason glances down at his watch with a small frown. 12:15am. Maybe they’d decided they didn’t need the help. Not that he could blame them. They may be kids, but they were smart kids. And strangers don’t always have the best intentions. A soft thud behind him makes him whirl around, an easy smile on his face when he notices the two figures.

“Ladybug.” He says with a nod, turning to the other hero. “And you must be her partner.”

“Chat Noir.” The boy says with a small nod of his head. “Nice to meet you. My name’s Jason.” He says, trying hard to push down the anger and guilt as he looks between the two. They couldn’t be older than Demon Spawn, and if they’d been at this since the beginning…

“Sorry we were late. There were a couple of issues on patrol, thank you for waiting.” Ladybug says, frowning.

“No big deal, I know you guys kinda have your hands full. What else can you tell me about the whole akuma situation?” Jason asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

“There’s not much else. No one knows where Hawkmoth came from. His Miraculous had been missing for years before he appeared here. He has a partner, Mayura. She showed up about a year after Hawkmoth. Neither one of them make public appearances often, we’ve only seen them twice. They prefer to use akumas and sentimonsters to fight their battles for them. They want the ladybug and black cat Miraculous. We don’t know why, but we do know that if they had it, it would be catastrophic.” Ladybug explains, and Jason frowns. “Miraculous? Sentimonsters?” He asks, and Chat Noir nods. “Miraculous are pieces of jewelry that hold our powers. They’re supposed to be used for good, but when someone like Hawkmoth gets ahold of them…” He trails off, glancing at Ladybug. “When someone like Hawkmoth, who doesn’t take balance into account, gets ahold of a Miraculous we end up with situations like this. An emotional terrorist holding a city hostage for years. And if he gets our Miraculous, it won’t just be Paris in trouble. The power he would have if he held both could be world ending. He could literally rewrite the universe to be whatever he wanted it to be, but it would come at a horrific price. There has to be balance.” Ladybug laughs darkly, taking in a deep breath and clenching her fists. Jason watches carefully as she opens her fists and her eyes. He frowns as he watches her slowly push away all of the negativity he saw covering her face.

“And sentimonsters?” Jason asks, clearing his throat. “Mayura’s special trick. She can put a feather into an inanimate object and it becomes sentient. It’s usually emotionally attached to an akuma and can help them in their fight to retrieve the Miraculous.” Ladybug explains and Jason nods. “Magic feathers and evil butterflies. Seems normal enough. What about you guys?” He asks and Ladybug frowns. “What do you mean?” She asks, a cautious look on her face. “I mean, do you guys have a team? Or a mentor? Someone to help train you and keep you on your toes?” He asks, ignoring the bitter taste in his mouth when he asks. He’s not sure if he’d be more disgusted to find out another adult was training a bunch of kids to fight for him, or if, somehow, the kids had managed to get involved with this without any outside help. “There was a man who gave us our Miraculous, but we didn’t train with him. And he’s not….he’s not around anymore.” Ladybug says, biting her lip. “There were a few times that we had temporary help, but they’re retired now.” She adds. “Not by choice.” Chat Noir mumbles under his breath. Ladybug huffs and Jason raises an eyebrow. “Chat, we’ve been through this. We can’t- I can’t ask them to help us anymore. It’s too dangerous. Too many of them were compromised and even if we asked them to use a different Miraculous, it’s not right. They shouldn’t have to fight this.” She says, and Chat Noir shakes his head. “I know, Bug, trust me, I know.” He says tiredly. Jason clears his throat and the two glance at him, almost as if they forgot he was there. “So what you’re telling me is not only has the Justice League ignored you, but you’re also untrained and have no other backup in this entire city?” He asks, trying hard to keep his breathing under control. Don’t get angry. Don’t make these kids fight you. Breathe. “Uh, that’s well- I mean-” Ladybug stumbles through her words, sighing when Chat Noir places a hand on her shoulder. “Yeah, that’s the basics.” He says, and Jason nods. “And you’re willing to accept help from me?” He asks, and the two nod immediately. “I want this over. I want to be able to leave Paris without worrying about if it’ll still be here when I come back.” Ladybug says. “Then I’ll help you. We’ll train, go through the basics, and we’ll try to track down this son of a bitch. I have some contacts back at home that should be able to help us with the detective side of this whole thing.” Jason explains and Chat Noir raises an eyebrow and tilts his head. “Why should we train? The suits are magic, I don’t-” He starts to say, but Jason cuts him off. “I’m gonna stop ya there kid. No matter how much magic you have, it’s always good to train. Especially if you have magic. What happens if your suit stops working, or you get caught in a situation where you can’t put the suit on? You need to be able to protect yourselves outside of the suit as well as inside the suit.” Jason says and Ladybug’s eyes widen. “Are you talking about training as civilians?” She asks, and he quickly recognizes the panic in her eyes. “Not exactly. I don’t want to know your identities, I understand how important that secret is. I do think you need to know how to fight without the suits though. If you wear something nondescript, I have some masks you could wear to help hide your identity.” Jason explains calmly. Ladybug shakes her head. “I don’t- I don’t know. What if you recognize our eyes-” Jason cuts her off. “The masks have a white layer over the eyes. Doesn’t affect your eyesight, but we won’t be able to see your eyes.” He says, and Chat Noir’s eyes narrow. “Why do you have masks like that?” He asks and Jason snorts. “I’ve worked security in some pretty unsavory places, kid. I don’t exactly need some asshole with a vengeance coming after me outside of work hours.” He explains. “When would be a good time for training? I’m assuming you have prior engagements during the day.” Jason adds, not saying anything about school, though he’s perfectly aware that’s where the kids would be. “What about nine? We can meet here again tomorrow, and then come up with a different spot so that no one gets used to us being here.” Ladybug suggests and Jason nods, glancing down at his watch. 1:30am. “You guys should get going, it’s late. I’ll bring the masks tomorrow.” He says, and the two nod, turning to leave, but Jason stops them. “Before you go, do you have any leads on Hawkmoth? Anyone I should look into tomorrow?” Chat Noir’s face falls immediately and Ladybug purses her lips. “We have suspected one man before, but we don’t have any concrete evidence. We know that with the frequency of akumas that Hawkmoth has to be well off, otherwise he’d lose his job. He’s also probably very isolated in order to constantly be on the lookout for negative emotions. Besides that, we don’t have much.” Ladybug says. Jason frowns. “But you did have one suspect?” He asks and Ladybug nods. “Who?”

“Gabriel Agreste.”

#maribat #maribat jason todd #maribat marinette dupain cheng #maribat adrien agreste #fanfic #ao3fic #platonic jasonette #platonic maribat adrienette #This Side of Normal

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bonny-kookoo · 4 years

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Carrots and Whiskers (JJK x Reader) 💜🔞🐾

🥕 Pairing: Rabbit!Jungkook x Wolf!Reader

🥕 Genre: Hybrid AU, fluff, smut because why not amirite-

🥕 Warnings: stereotyping, mild mentions of past bullying, fluff, oh god they’re so cute, Dom!Jungkook despite being technically food for Sub!Reader, Dirty talk, it’s sweet though he ain’t calling his baby a hoe don’t worry, unprotected sex because in this hybrid universe they’re unable to conceive due to their different species, please keep that in mind thank you, sweet sweet lovemaking, aftercare, buff boi JK, Big dick JK but what’s new I guess, yeah I’m done now

🥕 Summary: He’s the prey and she’s the predator. So why does she feel like the roles are reversed?

This is a oneshot! If you have any ideas for future content in this universe, feel free to send in asks or requests!

A reputation could easily define your entire life it it was bad enough.

Both sides knew this; Jeon Jungkook, being depicted as the cowardly prey hybrid he was, and Y/N, the bad bad wolf with always malicious intentions. However, none of these depictions were actually true.

Jeon Jungkook was an actually pretty rough and brave young man, never really backing down from a challenge, uncaring on who was in front of him. He got into trouble often as a kid, as a teenager, and now as a young adult.

Y/N was soft spoken, a caring yet quiet hybrid who liked to stay hidden, the spotlight being more of a fear than a goal for her. She loved the simple things in life, liked to be by herself or surrounded by people she trusted and loved.

And she also got a major crush on the bunny in her art and music class.

It was quite cliche really, yet it also wasn't- it was as if she was stuck in a bad joke, never to make it to the punchline. She knew for a fact that he probably didn't even knew who she was, and the worst part about it was that she couldn't even blame him. She loved to not be seen, after all.

"Uhm, excuse me?" Said the voice, forcefully hitting her as she looked up, her own eyes meeting the big brown orbs of-

wait.

"I eh, we're supposed to choose partners for this project, and I know for a fact that you can draw so eh, wanna be partners?" He asked, and she simply stared. Was he- talking to her? "I mean, Its okay if you don't want to-" He started, the squirrel hybrid girl behind him already perking up at her chance, making her swallow a bit.

"N-no, I uhm.. I'd like that." She squeezed out, voice quiet, but he thankfully still heard her. He smiled, brightly and so awfully cliche as his bunny-like teeth showed, sitting down next to her as he pulled out his sketches. "So uh, what did you have in mind.?" She quietly asked, and he talked away, as if he'd always known her.

"Well since we weren't given much other than the theme and colors, I made some small sketches. You know, I get Ideas that are pretty neat sometimes but then I forget them easily, so I have to draw or write them down right away, otherwise I'll wanna bite my own ass later on." He rambled on, gently moving the rough sketches towards her, his eyes watching her as she looked at them, carefully studying his lines.

"This- this one would fit, I think.." She mumbled, tapping on one of his more detailed drawings. He grinned again, nodding, seemingly in agreement. He attempted to say something as the bell rang, students around them both scrambling up to get out as soon as possible, either to catch a bus or to drive home on their bikes.

"Hey do you-" He stumbled, his foot catching on a stray chair as he almost fell. "Do you wanna meet up on the weekend? That way we can finish faster, you know, time to sleep in class." He said, and she simply nodded, until he held his hand out. Her head tilted to the side, ears flopping a bit as he chuckled, mumbling. "cute. Your phone, so I can give you my number?" He explained, and she blushed, stepping back a bit as she placed her bag down on the table next to her, pulling out her phone, charms on the device dangling, making him smile. She really was adorable. "Alright." He said as he took it after she'd opened the phone app, his fingers typing away, before he gave it back to her. "Do you take the bus home?" He asked, and she nodded. "Oh really? I thought the pink bike outside was yours actually." He chatted away as she walked next to him, now a bit shy.

"I actually.. well, I can't, you know, ride a bike, so.." She mumbled, and he laughed for a moment, until he went quiet, sensing that she was serious.

"I eh, I could you know, teach you, if you want?" He asked as he unlocked his own bike. "I mean, not now but like, this weekend?" He asked, and she looked a bit hesitant. "I mean, you don't have to. But I promise I won't let you get hurt." It seemed odd maybe, for a prey hybrid to say that to a predator, but for her, it seemed like the most cheesy and romantic thing she'd ever heard. So she smiled, and nodded. "I uhm.. I think your bus left-" He pointed out, making her ears droop as she watched the vehicle drive off without her. "I can bring you home. It's kind of my fault you missed it, after all." He said, scratching the back of his neck as he suddenly rumbled in his backpack, pulling out a zip hoodie, before folding it, and placing it on the bag of his bike. "My'lady." He offered, and she giggled, making his ears flinch in excitement.

She'd been unaware of him for long enough, and after a talk with his fellow friend Taehyung, he'd decided to finally act on his interest in her. Even though he did get some odd looks from his classmate Jimin, he didn't care about what she was- he cared more about who. Her drawings were always so detailed in a way that would show exactly what she'd though while creating each line, something he always found remarkable. She also had a talent for photography, a hobby he had for himself as well.

"Hold on tight okay?" He said, and she nodded, her arms moving around his waist, redness creeping onto her cheeks as she felt his toned body underneath his thin shirt and loose jean jacket. She held a bit tighter as he finally pushed the bike forward, paddling at a decent pace that made her hair flow a bit with the wind. She couldn't help but enjoy the moment; the way his smell calmed her, the scenery around her, and the fact that it seemed like everything was finally working out for her.

"I'm gonna let go now and you'll just-" He started, but she suddenly grew anxious, her wide eyes immediately finding his.

"no no don't let go I'm gonna fall-" She scrambled out, scared as he simply laughed, one hand on her back as he kept the other on the bike for now.

"I promised, didnt I?" He hummed into her ear, and she blushed at the gentle tone of his voice. He was everything she never thought a prey hybrid would be; he was cunning, brave, and confident in himself. He wasn't after attention at all, simply trying to live his life yet he pulled everyones gaze on himself wherever he went simply by nature. His ears seemed too soft to be legal in her opinion, black and white tuft of fur that was his tail seemingly completely out of place; the rest of his body was toned. It showed that he knew how to take care of himself, it underlined the way he held himself wherever he went.

He was the complete opposite of her it seemed.

She liked to hide in oversized clothing, hybrid features the only thing really giving away that she wasn't just a mouse in disguise.

To him however, it was an entirely different story.

She was so sweet, always trying to help, and always trying to not be a burden. She had so much talent, a unique way of seeing the world, and a gentle way of always looking out for others. It also didn't ease his crush on her that she was absolutely beautiful in his eyes; shorter in statue than him, surprisingly, but he was pretty tall for a rabbit hybrid, he had to admit. His mother had once told him about the different subspecies of wolves when she'd noticed his crush on the girl; her best friend having been a wolf hybrid as well when she'd still been in school. Apparently there were different subtypes for them; alphas, betas and omegas. He guessed that the girl on his bike was an omega, maybe, as it would explain all her characteristics.

"You're doing so great!" He said, bunny smile making her feel more confident as she noticed he only held her by her back; she was actually riding a bike. "See? You can do it!" He happily exclaimed as he helped her off, seat a bit high for her to get down herself. "Lets sit down there and exchange some sketches, yeah?" He offered, and she nodded with a smile, walking next to him as they both sat down on the grass, after Jungkook had put down a small blanket he'd taken with him. "Okay, hit me." He playfully shot her way, as she pulled out her sketchbook, simply sliding it towards him as he opened it, looking through the pages she'd opened for him. "Uah, these are great! I'd use a bit more color on these ones, but the rest is awesome!" He mumbled in thought as he proceeded to change the page, his eyes widening at a familiar pair of eyes, when two delicate hands held his wrist in place.

"Pl-Please uh, that's not for the project eh-" She stuttered, panic evident in her voice as her red face and tilted ears gave away her embarrassment. He simply stared for a moment, before his other hand simply loosened her grip on his wrist, freeing himself without much force. He slowly turned the page, revealing multiple rough sketches of..

Him.

It was him, not very detailed, but clearly visible. Small scenarios were drawn on the page, him staring out the open window of the classroom as he talked to friends, him at the sidelines of his basketball game as he'd taken a break, or him asleep on his desk during class. He studied the drawings, noticing how she'd not cared much about his clothing, or the background; even the desk or the window weren't really drawn very realistically, simply a fast sketch. What did stand out was.. well, his face. The way the sun reflected in his eyes, how his ears had been slightly damp from the slight rain outside, or the tiny things he would've never thought she'd notice about him, like the tiny beauty mark under his lower lip, the slight scar just above his cheek, or how the sides of his eyes crinkled when he laughed, nose scrunched up.

As he looked up she was looking down, hair hiding her eyes as her ears were flat against her skull, tail in her hands, which nervously fiddled with the fur. "I-" He started, before he began to open his own bag, ruffling around in it as his own ears lowered themselves while he tried to find something. "Hah!" He exclaimed in victory, hands sliding off the rubber band of his own folder which kept his messily organized sketches and finished works. He rummaged through them, before he started to lay some of them out in front of her, one by one. Slowly, her ears turned, attention on what he'd put down in front of her.

He always had a different way of drawing things, not really putting a lot of effort into the outlines or sketches themselves; but he had a way of coloring things, a unique style that made things feel almost alive. In every picture, he'd dedicated most of his effort to color the fur of her hybrid features almost perfectly- he also payed special attention to her postures in every picture. He never drew her eyes however- which she noticed. "I uhm.. I've never got the chance to see them up close, so I had a bit of trouble with them.." He explained. "I've noticed you pretty early when we shared our first classes together.. But I never really got around to talk to you. You and Namjoon-Hyung always seemed so close, I thought.." He revealed, scratching behind his own ear as he suddenly felt a bit bashful.

"You.. I mean, Joonie is a good friend but we uh.." She started, voice a bit low as she laughed a bit.

"I know, I know, he told me-" Jungkook answered, now chuckling. "Thats why I immediately took my chance when they'd announced the group project." He said. "It gave me a chance to you know, get to know you better. Get closer, you know?" He explained, and she nodded. "So uh.." He mumbled, before he smiled at her hopefully. "Wanna uh- get cake together today? Like a date?" He asked, and she nodded, making him suddenly jump up as he fist bumped the air, making a passerby elderly couple laugh. "Yes!"

"Carrot cake?" She asked, an almost teasing smile on her lips as he looked at her.

"What? Don't judge puppy!" He said, making her scoff scandalized.

"Hey, I'm a wolf, not a dog!" She explained as she stirred her milkshake with her pink straw before grabbing the spoon from her small metal plate.

"And I'm a rabbit, not a bunny. So guess we're even." He said, before his smile faded a bit, eyes stuck to the spoonful of whipped cream which made its way inside her mouth, tongue darting out to lick her lips clean before she noticed his gaze. He snapped out of it, suddenly the one growing a bit shy. "You uh.. wait, lemme just-" He mumbled, hand moving to wipe the corner of her mouth as he licked his finger clean himself, making her eyes widen before she mumbled a 'thanks' under her breath. He grinned.

"So uh-" He asked, pushing down his small cake fork to pick up a piece of cake, holding it out towards her. "open up?" He asked, and she hesitated a bit, before leaning forward a bit, lips parting. He placed the piece into her mouth, watching as she closed her lips, accepting his offering of food before she nodded her head approvingly. "See? Don't judge before you try!" He exclaimed, and she giggled at that.

He was right.

"I'm absolutely beat." He suddenly exclaimed, falling down onto the mattress laying on the ground in the corner of the new, unfurnished bedroom. The wolf hybrid sat down next to his sprawled out form, gently moving his blonde tipped hair away from his eyes. He'd dyed it months ago, his roots more than visible at this point, yet he'd simply decided to let it grow. "Come here~!" He playfully demanded, hands reaching out for her as he pulled her down with him, happily humming when she was laying on his chest. "Can you believe we're actually gonna live together from now on?" He asked, and she shook her head, moving around a bit so she straddled him, sat on his thighs as he suddenly watches her with hooded eyes, hands on her hips as his thumbs move in circles over the skin underneath her sweater- his sweater. "Hm.. I mean.." He offered, suddenly moving to sit up, changing position as she's now underneath him, his hair tickling her face slightly when he begins to kiss against her pulse. "I was about to ask if we should at least put up the bedframe, but having a mattress on the floor.." He started, hands wandering underneath the clothing of his she wore as he continued in a low voice. "..means I can't break the bed this time." He said, and she giggled at that, remembering the time their time together had been roughly interrupted by the weak frame of his old bed breaking. "Oh, my puppy thinks that's funny?" He wonders, making her grin as he kissed her deeply.

Moments like these made her almost forget the stereotypes she'd grown up with during her live- since Jungkook was nothing like the typically depicted rabbit hybrids. Because right now the roles seemed completely reversed, as he mouthed at her neck, feeling her pulse race as he continued to map out her body with just his hands, no need to watch where they were, able to seemingly paint a picture of her by touch at this point. Clothes suddenly seemed to tight, itchy, as if bitten by a mosquito. She whined as he chuckled darkly, helping her out of his sweater as he immediately grabbed her breasts, kneading them before he continued to undress her, making quick work of her shorts as he pulled down her underwear as well- her already glistening center clinging to the damp fabric of her underwear as she squirmed, making him humm in appreciation. He pulled his own shirt over his head as well, revealing his body to her as the sun outside painted glowing stripes onto it, the blinds drawing patterns on her skin as well. He finally freed himself from the confines of his own underwear as well, standing proud and ready as she became restless.

"Hm, puppy wants to be filled up yeah?" He asked with a teasing undertone, proudly making use of the privilege to be able to call her that- since she hated it when others did it. It was the same the other way around however; typically, being called a 'bunny' was an absolute insult to him, but for some reason it seemed like a cute nickname coming from her. Maybe he was just whipped. Or maybe she was just privileged as well.

He entered her slowly as he sighed alongside her, not wasting any time as he fell into rhythm, hips thrusting forwards as her hands reached for his, intertwining their fingers as he felt his soul warm up at the gesture. He felt so loved, so cherished, it made him fear for his heart, as he swore it stopped every time he was close to her like this. He felt complete, like he'd found his soulmate, his other half- it didn't matter to him what she was. Sure, his parents were a bit dissapointed since they couldn't have kids naturally because of this, but they both could always adopt in the future. Thinking about it made his heart swell as he thought about her, caring for their kids, making this small apartment into a family home one day. Maybe it was instinct, but he'd already been driven nuts by the way she'd helped him choose furniture and wallpaper for the small living space they'd be sharing; the simple fact that she wanted to make their apartment into a home feeding his inner instincts to build a home to keep her safe in.

He felt her legs shake a bit as he shifted a bit, making her whine as he suddenly picked up his pace, sweat already slowly beginning to coat his skin as he didn't seem to notice how the sound of skin against skin still echoed in the almost empty room since it lacked furniture- but it didn't matter for now anyways. They'd both fill it with things and memories of the both of them, and he couldn't wait for it. He huffed a bit as he moved, leaning down a bit to rest his forehead against her neck as she bared it for him, a natural instinct of hers to submit to him even if he was of another species with no need of such gestures. He'd adapted to it however, gently biting the skin as he felt her shiver underneath him, a sign that she was getting close. "Hm my baby wanna cum?" He asked, gently beginning to tease her as she nodded, eyes closed in bliss. "You want a knot huh?" He asked, and she shook her head no, as he chuckled. He'd felt a bit insecure the first few times around as he knew how things worked for canine hybrids, worried that he maybe couldn't give her what she wanted or needed, yet she'd always reassured him. Now it was more like a teasing thing for him, and a way to tickle a praise out of her- a way of reminding himself that she loved him just as much as she did her. "No? You don't?" She shook her head again, her fingers holding his hands tighter. "What do you want then, huh?" He asked with a grin as she whined.

"You- you, only want ngh.. only need Kookie-!" She pressed out, and he hummed approvingly, his thrusts beginning to grow sloppy as he neared his end.

"That's right, only me, only mine, yeah?" He asked, and she nodded, suddenly opening mouth as her head buried itself into the mattress below her, clenching around him as he groaned out, burying himself deep inside her as he spilled. "Thats it, take it like a puppy- good girl!" He praised, making her whine as he leaned his body down, kissing her neck, her throat, and then her lips as they both calmed down from their highs, breathing slowly growing more and more even as he moved a bit to grab a box as he slid it towards him, rummaging through it before he took out a roll of kitchen towels, grabbing a few as he slipped out of her, carefully catching his release and her own juices as to not make a mess. He had a gentle smile on his face as he carefully cleaned her up before he stood, walking towards another box where he pulled out a large pillow and a few blankets, instincts taking over as he began to cover her now rapidly cooling body in soft fabrics before cuddling up next to her, pulling another blanket over his own form as he made sure his partner was comfortable. She slipped out of her makeshift blanket burrito to invite him in, making him grin his signature bunny smile as he held her close, skin on skin as he closed his eyes, the only light in the room the streetlamps outside.

This already felt like home.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts smut #jungkook imagine #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts #jungkook #bts reactions #hybrid imagine #bts hybrid au

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6sakusa · 3 years

Text

‘worth more’ part 3, oikawa tōru.

a/n: im dedicating this part to @humanitysvertigo for motivating me to write & inspiring this piece with your song suggestion ‘like you do’

warnings: implications of toxic relationship, mild swearing, anGST, me not proof reading.

“you’re an idiot.” iwaizumi grabbed the setter by the collar in a brash attempt to knock some sense into him. more often than not he’d been constantly named as too aggressive for his own good but the ace knew exactly what oikawa needed in order to be brought to attention and there was no way in hell that he was about to let him get away with this.

“i’m not in the mood for this right now.” oikawa scoffed shoving off his bestfriend as he picked up another ball from the pantry preparing himself for another serve.

“i don’t care what you’re in the mood for, this isn’t good for you, how many times have i told you to cut this shit out.” iwaizumi launched towards the male, he was now raising his voice as he made reach for the ball. it was insane how much he would get riled up when it came to oikawa’s safety even though he hated to admit it.

“why are you like this.. you’re all like this, why are you trying to stop me? i need to get better, i need to do better, i need to—“ his words were cut off by a swiff headbutt from iwaizumi causing him to go crashing towards the ground.

“don’t you ever get tired of saying selfish shit.” it was obvious that anger was building up within the ace, but if you didn’t know him well enough you would miss how it was interlaced with pain and sadness. the sight of his bestfriend hurting himself took a toll on him too regardless of if he showed it or not and he couldn’t bare the sight of oikawa mistreating both you and himself. growing up together iwa found himself as the boys sole protector, as if he was his responsibility and now as the days grew longer it seemed as if the burden was almost getting to heavy to carry. the last thing he wanted was to have to walk away from the friendship because it was becoming too stressful and draining, no, because part of iwaizumi was oikawa and he couldn’t imagine his life without the selfish boy.

“don’t you wanna win? why do you play iwa? are you content with the participation awards? because i’m not.” the setter grit his teeth as he reflected back on his recent loss. the way the ball had hit the ground just a hair out of his reach, the way the score was so close and the taste of victory was almost on his tongue, the fact that it was their last try at going to nationals, the way it was his own kouhai who had beat him, the way he had disappointed iwaizumi above all. he had to make up for it, he had to make up for all of it.

“i play because it’s fun.” the ace shouted shoving him further into the ground. “i play because.. i like it, i like volleyball, and i like playing with you and the rest of the team, it’s made me who i am today.” his voice softened and he finally let go of his bestfriends collar, inhaling a deep breath as oikawa watched with wide eyes. “what does volleyball mean to you now? do you just want to be the best at what you do for something you don’t even find fun? look around, think about all the people you’re hurting.” he referred back to you.

“i’m doing this for you guys as much as i’m doing it for me—“

“no you’re not, we’re in our third year now, it’s done oikawa, it’s over.. there is no next game, there is no next tournament, there is no next time, and that’s okay because these past three years have been the best of my life, there’s nothing else i could have asked for, you’re the best partner anyone could ever want, my bestfriend and the best setter.” iwaizumi sighed collapsing backwards, hitting his own head as the words just kept tumbling out.

“really?” there was a newfound light in oikawas eyes, one that the ace much preferred in comparison to his gloomy figure that would always pop out when he was being much too harsh on himself.

“yes really, you are the best setter—“

“no.” oikawa cut him off unexpectedly. “really? i’m your bestfriend?”

“are you shitting me? you’re an idiot, who else would it be? we’ve been friends since we were kids.. stupid crappykawa.” he mumbled off at the end noting how sappy the setter had turned him.

“you have a way with words iwa-chan, or maybe you’ve just gone soft on me hm?” he joked around lifting the tense atmosphere off the two of them.

“and now you’re all smiling and shit? you were just depressed two minutes ago” iwaizumi clicked his tongue at the sight of his friend, he wondered how he was always able to switch his mood up so easily. sometimes he was envious of his ability to do so, he wanted nothing more than to turn off the nagging voice at the back of his head sometimes that would tell him—

“what can i say? i’m suddenly feeling inspired.” he looked up to the ceiling as if he was in some soft of romcom and iwaizumi scoffed at the sight of it. sometimes he wondered how he’d ended up with a bestfriend who was so cheesy.

“well good because aoba johsai isn’t the whole world, there’s a volleyball career waiting for you anywhere on this planet, but nothing everything is replaceable like that.” iwa successfully recaptured the setters attention with his last words.

“what do you mean?”

“y/n... she’s not replaceable but you treated her like shit today didn’t you? i saw her sitting out in the rain so don’t even try to deny it.” he gritted his teeth at the thought of it, the way your fingertips were icy cold, your warm tears juxstaposing the freezing rain, your clothes absolutely drenched and your catatonic state of pure silence as he walked you home. there was only one person who could be the cause of such pain, and he was standing in front of him now.

“the rain?” oikawa jumped to alert now, he knew he wasn’t in his right mind when he had spoke to you, all that was going through his head is that he was a burden that you needed to rid yourself from, but that didn’t mean he didn’t love you or didn’t care about you or could live without you.

“what did you say to her?”

“i said i didn’t need her..” his heart clenched as he recalled the events, how could he be so foolish? and then to let you sit out there while he was ignorant to the entire situation as he stood there selfishly serving the ball over and over again.. “i scared her.” he swore he was on the verge of tears as he forced out those words, nothing hurt more then seeing your eyes wash over from love to fear in the matter of seconds as he towered over you. and for what? all you were doing was trying to help.

“well why are you still standing asshole? go to her, i’ll clean your mess up.” the ace sighed staring at the vast amount of balls sprawled over the court.

“no i can clean it up, don’t wo—“

“shut up, go.” he was interrupted by iwaizumi who had his best interests in mind as he always did.

“i owe you one.”

“you always do.”

—

finally changing out of your drenched clothes you could barely bring yourself to move, you’d already turned down food and avoided questions when your parents had ask why you were practically dripping onto the floor. it was too much to even speak, it felt like a part of you was gone, someone you had planned your entire future with just didnt need you anymore in the blink of an eye. you were even reconsidering your university options just to be closer to oikawa and now he had tossed you away like a tired ragdoll. you had been warned about oikawa before, plenty of people named him a playboy, even his own bestfriend had warned you to stay away but something had left you so drawn to the male that it was unexplainable. it was a feeling that only those who had experienced it would know, it was true love, if soulmates existed you were sure he was yours and never in your life had the thought of even breaking up crossed your mind.

the two of you had gotten into heated arguments before and many times it would end with you in tears or him storming out but he always came back. why hasn’t he come back? was it truly over? were you just not enough for him? you knew how important volleyball was and you always supported him but you hated seeing him overwork himself. did that make you a bad person? maybe you were, maybe he was right and you weren’t being the supportive girlfriend you were meant to be, it was your fault, you should be better right?

“y/n?” your thoughts were interrupted by a sickeningly familar voice and you turned to see the very boy that you were just thinking about. there was no doubt now that fate existed, otherwise why did things always end up like this?

“what are you doing here?” you narrowed your eyes at the setter, scrambling to wipe the tears off your face. you hated looking weak more than anything but you couldn’t help the dent that the entire situation had left in your heart.

“iwa-chan told me what happened and your parents let me in, were you crying?” he moved closer towards you, watching as you tried your best to stifle your tears as if nothing happened. you knew it was a pathetic attempt, you really did, but you couldn’t help how badly you wanted to be strong. you flinched backwards, causing him to halt his movement as he was making his way to cup your cheek.

the sadness that washed over his eyes in that moment was almost unbearable for you to witness. of course it would pain him that you would flinch away from his hands like that, it looked as if you were afraid.

“w-what? why are you flinching? i would never hit you, i love you.” you hated the way you knew exactly when he was telling the truth and when he was lying, and right now tōru oikawa was being the most genuine that he had in a long time. one part of you wanted to pull away so badly, to tell him that he treated you like absolute shit, that he didn’t deserve you and to scream and shout at him to get out. but the other part of you, the stronger part, wanted nothing more than to revel in his embrace, for him to whisper sweet nothings in your ear and promise how he was going to marry you one day while he played with your ring finger reminding you over and over again how much he loved you, because no one loved you like he did.

“please.. say something y/n.” he clenched his jaw as you stared at him with empty eyes, he couldn’t bare the thought of knowing that he was the one who had done this. it was always him who had caused you pain and suffering and now he was wondering if he had made the right choice by coming here.. if he hadn’t you would get over him one day wouldn’t you? you’d probably find someone who loved you without the grief that he always provided, someone who made you happy without requirement, someone who could give you a life that he couldn’t. what he didn’t know was how much you wanted to tell him how no one else mattered to you and how you had felt this way since the moment you’d met him but your mouth wouldn’t say the words you wanted them to so badly.

“why.. why do you always do this to me.” your voice cracked and you couldn’t hold it in any longer, your eyes glossed over before tears spilt out uncontrollably. you moved to clutch your own body, burying your head in your knees as you cried your heart out to your boyfriend who immediately moved to embarace you. what shocked him is how cold you were to the touch, you were sure to get sick tonight so he would stay by your side the entire time if he had to.

“i don’t know.. all i know is how sorry i am.” he pulled you closer so that you were not facing his chest as he brushed the hair out of your face and rubbed your back soothingly. “i cant explain it y/n-chan, i mess up really badly sometimes and i don’t know why, all i know is that life isn’t the same without you in it, since i met you everything just seems brighter, like it’s all worth it.. no matter what i say to you i will always love you.”

you cried harder as you came to the realisation of how weak you were for him.

“you’re the only person i can’t bear to lose y/n-chan, you’re the most selfless person i know, please don’t ever walk out of my life, i’ll do better i promise.” a tear rolled down his own eye as he imagined how empty things would feel without you, he wondered where he would get the willpower to wake up everyday.

“you promise?” you looked up at him with tear stained eyes through those beautiful eyelashes of yours, and how could he not love you when you still looked so pretty even when you were crying over him.

“i promise.” he hugged you a little tighter, wanting to memorise this moment for everything that it is.

“then i’ll stay by your side forever tōru.” you smiled softly at the thought of the rest of your life with the boy you always intended to spend it with.

“and i’ll marry you one day y/n-chan.” that day you fell asleep in your boyfriends arms as he stroked your hair and coddled you with promises that you’d remember for decades.

what the two of you didn’t know was how iwaizumi sat in the gym, motionless with a pained expression on his face and a slow tear rolling down his cheek as he led the boy he’d loved since childhood right back into your arms as he always had. he even stayed cleaning up for the rest of the night before practicing how he would face the two of you in school the next day with a smile on his face. as long as his bestfriend was happy he told himself.

because oikawa was wrong about one thing, there was someone more selfless than you.

209 notes · View notes

ramp-it-up · 3 years

Text

Fresh Squeeze, Pt. 6

Pairing: Daveed Diggs x OFC Linden Marshall

Set in 2023, post-pandemic

Warnings: Cursing, Wild Thoughts™️, Angst, Yearning, 18+, Walmart shopping, Anime discussion, Anthony Ramos. Lots of Plot

Word Count: 2.8 K

Plot: Linden Marshall just finished law school at Columbia University in NYC. Daveed Diggs is still creating magic with his platonic life partner Rafael Casal in the form of their Blindspotting musical, Bay Boys. Linden’s boyfriend WAS Mark Monaco, star of the superhero movie series Invincible. They were together for years, and her trauma and his addictions were toxic. She knows now that wasn’t love.

A/N: Keep in mind that this the same AU as Arrivals, with Holly Woods, but is BEFORE Rafa and Holly get together.

Read the previous chapter.

==================

Isabela, Puerto Rico, May 2023

“We are about 30 minutes from our destination. Please stay seated with your seatbelts fastened. The pilot will let you know when it is safe to do otherwise. Enjoy the rest of the flight.”

The flight attendant’s announcement woke up Daveed. He felt warm and happy. And he had you in his arms.

Daveed moved his head down into your curls, and kissed the top of your head., checking to see if anyone was watching. Everyone was knocked the fuck out.

You had fallen asleep on his shoulder about 45 minutes into the flight after passing around champagne bottles. You were so cute, but he could tell that your neck was gonna be wrecked when you awoke.

Daveed had carefully maneuvered you so that he could pull up the armrest without waking you. You were dead to the world, so you waking up wasn’t a problem.

Then, he pulled you to his chest, situating the blanket around you two and leaning back. If he wanted anything from you right now, at the top of the list would be to be able to hold you like this and to show love.

He questioned that word in his mind. Love, really? He did love you, even if it was only as a good friend. But could it be more? Were you ready for that? Was he?

Daveed looked around to see Craig watching him and giving a thumbs up. No one else noticed, Rafa was on his laptop and he could have sworn that Anthony and Jasmine were doing something nasty under their blanket behind you.

He settled back into this feeling of being with you and fell asleep too, happy and content.

You woke up to a strange rhythm under your ear. It was a blue covered heartbeat, you recognized as you opened one eye, and it was insistent and hard, yet warm and safe. You shifted, held Daveed’s torso tighter and tried to drift back off. His arms tightened around you in response.

Then your eyes popped open.

“Oh shit!” You realized what was going on. You sat up slowly and squinted at Daveed’s smile and his damn low sexy voice.

“Hey sleepyhead.”

“Hey.”

You blushed and wiped your mouth.

“Shit, I’m sorry…” you wiped at his onesie. “I think I drooled all over your…”

You didn’t finish the sentence when you glanced at Daveed and caught his eye.

What you said that night came back to both of you. D’s eyes darkened and he licked his lips. For a minute, you were trapped by the static energy of your attraction. Daveed could do a lot with those lips right now if you’d let him.

But of course you fought it.

You took a deep breath and sat up, separating from Daveed more fully. You had to get it together. You reached for your phone and checked your face, making sure you weren’t too crusty.

“Practically perfect in every way.” Daveed was watching you.

“That’s your first mistake.” You clicked your camera off. “ Anything that’s perfect isn’t real. Or alive.” You had learned a lot in therapy.

“Truth.” Daveed looked at you appraisingly. “Such wisdom from a young one.” He leaned close to you. “That’s why I said, ‘practically.’” He was staring at your lips, not wanting to give up on meeting them again.

“I’m not a ‘young one.’ I’m thirty in two days.”

You lifted your chin as a child would do, Daveed noted. It was appropriate, because you were being stubborn as fuck right now.

He chuckled and stayed close, not letting you off the hook.

“And I’m 40. I could be your…”

The timbre of his voice was causing your pussy to vibrate. Holy fuck.

“...Daddy,” you said, huskily.

You opened your mouth to breathe, as Daveed grunted quietly in his throat. God, you wanted to fuck him. You remembered that you knew how big he was. Your eyes widened and you watched his mouth.

Daveed would teach you about Daddy. He wanted to rail you until your pussy curved to his dick. Got damn.

Daveed wanted you and you wanted him. It was crystal clear. He began to reach for you under the blanket when the flight attendant’s voice intruded on your vibe.

“We are beginning our descent into Rafael Hernández Airport, please stay seated with your seatbelts fastened and bring your tray tables and seats to an upright and locked position. The temperature is 75 degrees and the current time is 12:47 am. We should be at our gate shortly. Thank you.”

That’s it. The moment was gone. You reached for your water bottle and took a drink to cool down. You were grateful.

Daveed was frustrated, as he sat back, brought his seat up, but held the blanket on his lap for a little while longer. It wasn’t fair, he almost had you. He closed his eyes. Now he felt like a child.

---------

The crew finally arrived in town around 2 am, after the two hour flight and renting a couple of cars to get to Isabela, a village on the seaside.

Loud music was playing to avoid falling asleep, Rafael driving one car and Ant the other.

Arriving in town, the two cars headed straight to the Walmart to get some food and things. It was almost 2 am, but everyone was re-energized and playing around, glad to be free for the time being on the island.

Daveed had to concentrate to read the titles in the video section. His mind kept going back to the moment on the airplane. But he vowed not to chase you up and down this island. He didn’t want to crowd you. It had to be your decision.

You had to come to him. And the thought of you made him want to cum. He’d have you to think about in the shower tonight, or today, whatever.

He needed to stop thinking about it.

Daveed was looking for Black Dynamite to watch in the condo in case it rained. He knew better than to think that Walmart had it, but he tried anyway.

He did see Afro Samurai tho… He picked it up as Rafa approached him with a toy xylophone and a big grin.

==================

Puerto Rico did something to all of you. It was like some weird no inhibitions pollen or something. When you stepped off the plane you decided to not overthink shit. You were just going to respond naturally, fuck the consequences.

This was your weekend, after all.

You walked into the entertainment section and heard some vaguely familiar music. As you got closer, you realized what it was.

Daveed was in the book section rapping “Rubber Duckie” as Rafa played a toy xylophone.

I got my rubber duckie

I'm in the tub with bubblies

He isn't very fuzzy

I know my duckie loves me

Call up my homie Ernie,

You know the orange one, ya heard me

D was going in, being silly and laughing with his bestie. He was fucking adorable. You grinned at them and turned down the dvd aisle.

“I can’t believe they don’t have Cowboy Bebop.”

You shook your head as Daveed and Rafa walked up and flanked you at the display, a shopping cart by Daveed’s side.

“It’s a classic. Children will be referencing the War on Titan and it's after effects a hundred years from now."

Rafa just nodded and stroked his chin, having enough sense to be quiet.

“Wait, Attack on Titan is right here Lindy…” Daveed reached for a dvd and held it up in front of you.

Rafa shook his head and covered it with his hand.

"Spike Spiegel wasn't in Attack on Titan. That's an entirely different anime series, my dude."

The sardonic wit in your voice. Daveed just nodded, face on the floor, and put the blu ray down.

You squinted at what D had in his hand.

"Afro Samurai is 20 years old as well. You know that and not Cowboy Bebop? You put shame on your house. Old Man.”

You gave him a sexy grin and sauntered away shaking your head.

Rafa had been watching the scene, head on a swivel. All he had to say after you left was, “Boom. Roasted.”

Daveed just chuckled, surprised and exhilarated at the same time. It seemed that you were up to letting loose a little bit.

He looked at Rafa who just watched Daveed falling. He couldn’t catch him this time.

"Man. Tonight looks like the beginning of an EPIC weekend,” Rafa said as he pushed some more dvds into Daveed’s cart.

Then he pulled a pack of Magnum XLs off the shelf that he had been hiding under his arm from you.

Daveed looked at him. Rafa stared back.

“What? All these beautiful women on this island. I’m not gonna be unprepared or take any chances.”

Daveed shook his head, grimaced and looked around to see where you went, but you were nowhere to be found.

----

You were busy eating some Hot Cheetos that you’d grabbed on the chip aisle and were turning down the candy aisle when you saw Grumpy Care Bear standing there with a basket full of food, dvds and shit, looking at some sour patch kids.

"Oh hell," you said as you turned right back around.

"Ay, yo. Lindy. You can get your candy. I'm not going to assault you with my inferior anime knowledge."

He laughed that sexy laugh and held up his hands. He sort of regretted calling you back because you walking away...Damn. Even in the Pikachu onesie.

Daveed continued to hold up his hands to show he didn't intend any harm, a smile on the lips that were your weakness earlier. Fuck me, you thought.

You smiled back at him and went for the Jelly Bellys. You crunched loudly on your Cheetos as you clocked him out on the low. You felt bad. A little.

"Look, I'm sorry about that in the dvds. I'm just passionate about what I like."

Daveed wondered if you liked him. Like liked him liked him. He allowed himself to go there.

You sucked the Cheeto dust off your fingers and it was making D feel some kinda way as he watched your fingers go in and out of your mouth. His eyes began to slide down your body.

He needed to stop. Daveed cleared his throat and looked at your face.

"No problem. I get it. It's all good."

Diggs unconsciously licked his lips and grinned, causing you to stare for a second at his casual hotness. This couldn't continue. You frowned.

Daveed sensed the change in mood, grabbed his Sour Patch kids and backed away.

“I’ll leave you to it.”

That was a close call you thought as you felt some weird pang of disappointment at him leaving. But it was what it was.

Soon enough, you all left the store. Rafa stole some of your Jelly Belly’s. You just handed over the pack to him and pulled out some more. You were prepared.

==================

When the crew finally got to the house, you dropped your bags and ran to the beach, celebrating four days of freedom from work, acting, fame, fortune, and expectations.

After a few minutes of staring at the waves, y’all made your way back up to the house.

When you walked in before Jazzy turned the lights on, you recognized a large dark expanse which seemed to be the back wall. As your eyes got adjusted, you noticed the white rolls of the waves on the shore.

The back wall was floor to ceiling glass. When the lights came up, it turned into a mirror and 6 characters in onesies stared back at you.

You were at the back of an open concept space with a huge u-shaped sectional sofa and a beautiful, big kitchen with a bar.

Daaaammmmmmnnn! This place is gorgeous! Craig’s mouth was hanging open. You reached over and closed it.

“Welcome to our home away from home!” Anthony was bleary eyed and smiling wide.

He pointed to the right of the house.

“Me and Jazzy’s room is over there,” he then pointed to the right of the house.

“The birthday girl’s room is opposite over there, a mirror of the master,” then he pointed to the back of the house behind you and to the right, “and the other four bedrooms are here.”

Ant started pulling their luggage toward their room, talking over his shoulder.

“Everybody gets their own room, even me, when I fuck up.”

All of you cracked up laughing whole Jasmine nodded her head.

It was almost 4 am, so you all were tired. You gladly pulled your suitcase to your room, feeling grateful and warm for being the guest of honor of your friends. Your room was the bomb.

You walked into a spacious room with bamboo wood floors,and exposed wooden beam ceilings and several floor to ceiling windows. There was a huge fluffy white rug under a comfortable king sized bed in the middle of the room.

Two uniquely designed bamboo lounge chairs and white pillow ottomans faced a window where you could look through and see the pool and beach.

It was a luxury get away and right now, all you wanted was a shower and the bed.

You put your suitcase on the floor and got down and opened it. You shook your head at what you saw.

“HOLY FUCK GOT DAMN SHIT!!!!”

Daveed, Craig and Jasmine came running at your screams. Rafa and Ant were behind.

“What happened.”

You were embarrassed. But so irritated.

“Craig. You got the wrong suitcase. This is Mark’s shit that he never came to get. None of my clothes are here. I have nothing to wear.” You felt like crying.

“I’m sorry Lindy, you said that your summer clothes and bathing suits were in the rolling soft Louis bag…”

I mean the large one. This is the medium one. It’s okay, Craig.

“You have nothing to wear hunh?”

Daveed was smirking at you and you ignored it, crossing your arms and tapping your foot.

“But it’s perfect!” You looked at Jasmine and her chipper British accent.

“We can go shopping for your birthday tomorrow. Treat yourself!”

You couldn’t help but smile at Jazzy’s happiness. She was right. Rafa and Ant went away and left y’all to that talk. Daveed was glued to his spot.

“OOooooh. Good Idea.” Craig was in.

“Ok.I’m tired as fuck. I just wanna shower and sleep now. I’ll not need anything tonight.

Daveed couldn’t get the image of you in the shower and naked in bed out of his head now. He cleared his throat.

“I can give you something to wear shopping tomorrow, Lindy.”

His voice was soft. You smiled at him and he was a goner.

“Man, you are like three times bigger than she is?” Jasmine didn’t understand.

“Hold up. Are you willing to sacrifice, D? Can we cut up one of your t-shirts and jeans?”

Daveed felt pain. The only t-shirts he had were Oaklandish.

“Let’s compromise. You can cut my jeans all you want, but not the shirt.”

Craig smiled wide. “Deal, if you throw in a belt.”

“Damn, Diggs…” was all that Jasmine said, smiling and shaking her head.

“Thank you Daveed. I appreciate it.” You were blown away.

Daveed played it off. “No problem…” And then he just turned around and walked out of your room.

“Girlllllllll!!!!” Craig and Jasmine squealed at you and it took you a minute to get them out of your room.

You walked into the en suite bathroom and marveled at its beauty. It was large, with a huge tub and a walk in glass encased shower with an overhead waterfall shower head.

You turned on the shower to get it hot, stripped off your onesie and your underwear, wrapped yourself in a towel and went back into the bedroom.

You stopped short, because there was Daveed standing in your room, clothes in hand.

He had immediately gone to find his least favorite jeans and the Oakland shirt that would suit you the best. He decided that you would look beautiful in blue.

You just in a towel was a sight to behold. He was sure that underneath that towel was paradise.

You stared at each other for a minute, Your eyes were glued to his.

“Th-thank you again Daveed.” He couldn’t discern if your hesitant, sexy voice was for him or from embarrassment.

“Sorry, I…. didn’t think you’d be… sorry.” He put his hands up and backed out of the room.

“Daveed.” You called, softly. “Stop.”

You approached him with a smile on your face. Daveed’s eyes were wide, not knowing what was going to happen.

“Thank you. I mean it.”

You stood on your tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek, your lips lingering. Daveed closed his eyes and fought the urge to grab you and hold you close to him.

“You’re welcome.” His smile wrinkled his eyes as he smiled down at you.

“Goodnight, Linden. Have sweet dreams for me.”

You just stared at him as he turned and left the room.

Daveed was just outside your door when he heard your reply.

“Yes, Sir.”

==================

Read the Next Chapter.

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83 notes · View notes

itubainaretro · 4 years

Text

In a parallel universe Robbe and Sander met at the scouts summer camp when they were 10 and every year since then they waited for summer to see each other again.

Robbe and Sander were the type of best friends that did everything together and no one could separate them - everyone stopped trying eventually -, so when someone was looking for one of the boys they made sure to look for both of them, because if you found one you’d find the other too, probably up to no good, like that time when Sander convinced Robbe to go to the kitchen at 3 am so they could eat chocolate ice cream when they were 12, or that time when Robbe dared Sander to jump in the lake at midnight even though he knew the water would be cold despite the warm weather and Sander did it, naked, because he was never one to back down from a challenge, when they were 13.

Even though most of the time they were causing mayhem or getting into trouble, people would still notice how Robbe and Sander also took care of each other and treated the other gently, like that time when they were 14 and had an outdoors task and were only allowed to go back to their lodge when they were finished with everything and it started raining and they stayed outside for a good hour before finishing their task and Robbe ended up with the flu. Everyday after that everyone at the camp saw Sander piling up food or making some tea at the dining hall to take up to their lodge because Robbe wasn’t feeling well enough to come down to eat with everyone yet and Sander refused to let him be alone - even though Robbe said countless times it was okay - so he would make sure to grab Robbe’s favourite snacks and balance everything in his arms to knock on their door with the biggest smile ever and say room service arrived.

Or that time when they were 15 and Sander sprained his ankle while hiking and even though Robbe was smaller than him he made sure to give Sander a piggyback ride all the way back to the nursery so he could get his ankle examined and taken care of. After they put a splint on Sander’s ankle and gave him some medication for the pain, Robbe helped him get to their room and after getting Sander to his bed, Robbe looked at him seriously and asked him to never scare him like that ever again and gave Sander a kiss on the forehead, saying he’d be right back with some food. Before Robbe left Sander grabbed his hand saying he shouldn’t be that worried, it was just a stupid ankle and Robbe replied saying it didn’t matter, he hated seeing Sander hurt. Sander smiled and gave Robbe’s hand a thank you kiss and asked for a piece of chocolate cake, since Robbe was being so nice to him.

When they were 16 everyone noticed how things changed between them.

It was no surprise to anyone how close and attached they were, but in that summer it all looked like something more, like something meaningful.

As always they spent most of their time together, only being apart when they were assigned different partners for outdoors tasks, but their dynamic certainly had changed. On the rare occasions they weren’t together it seemed as though they weren’t paying attention to anything until someone mentioned the other’s name and it was enough to bring a smile to their faces, making them keep going with their tasks with renewed energy, as if they remembered that the sooner they finished what they were doing the sooner they would be able to be together again.

Their eyes seemed to linger on one another for longer than necessary and so did their hands when they did simple things such as shoo away a fly from the other’s arm, clean a patch of dirt from the other’s shorts, stained from when they sat on the floor during their break, put a strand of hair behind the other’s ear from where it fell on their eyes or how more often than not they held hands when they thought no one was looking. The smiles they shared seemed to hold a secret only they knew about.

Even the instructors noticed how attached they’d become from the countless times they were sent to their lodge to check on them because both boys were late to some early morning task, just to get there and catch Robbe and Sander sharing a bed, sleeping safely intertwined in each other’s arms. They always pretended to not see anything, not wanting to break their little bubble, and simply left the room, knocked on their door and shouted Driesen and Ijzermans, you have 5 minutes to be ready and outside your dorm, otherwise we’re breaking down the door. They never broke down any doors, they never needed it, because every single time, 4 minutes and half later both boys were stumbling out of the door, laughing and finishing up the knots on their scarves, mumbling how sorry they were and promising it would never happen again. The instructors pretended to believe, shaking their heads and sending them off to their tasks, laughing at them being so ridiculously into their own little world that they were oblivious to the fact that every single instructor had a copy key to all the lodges and no doors would ever have to be broken down.

Their goodbye that year was hard. Both Robbe and Sander knew what they wanted but were too afraid to do anything about it, because they didn’t want to ruin their friendship over some feelings that could or could not be reciprocated by the other, so in the end they did nothing.

On the bonfire night, their last night at the summer camp, they were clingier than usual, almost glued to each other while talking to other people, goofing around and enjoying the last bits of summer together. When they got back to their lodge they went to bed together and spent the entire night talking in hushed voices, tracing random shapes and promises on each other’s skin and sometimes innocently kissing the closest part of each other’s body, hands, forehead, cheek, arm, just for the sake of enjoying their last moments of being in each other’s arms.

On the next day when they went to say their goodbyes they hugged tightly for almost 10 minutes straight, saying how they were already counting the days to see each other again, promising to stay in touch and finally letting go with a kiss to the other’s cheek.

On the bus ride home Robbe found a drawing on his jacket and smiled when he saw himself and Sander smiling at each other by a fire - it was a memory from the day they learned how to start a fire using dry branches and that particular moment etched on a white piece of paper was when Robbe’s fire finally ignited and he yelled in victory, thanking Sander for the help. Sander must’ve slipped the drawing on his pocket when they were hugging and Robbe laughed when he thought about how much they were alike, cause he too had slipped a piece of paper on Sander’s pocket when they were hugging, a little note that said “I love you and I already miss you. - Robbe.”

The year passed by and Robbe couldn’t wait to get back to the camp, but as soon as he got there his world came crashing down when he realized Sander, always the first one of them to get to the camp, wasn’t there.

He spent the whole day waiting for Sander to arrive but he never came. Not after breakfast, not after lunch and not even after dinner.

After some days Robbe gave up on waiting for him and accepted the fact that he wouldn’t see Sander that summer and depending on what life had reserved for them, never again.

So, at 17 Robbe forced himself to meet new people and make new friends at the summer camp. No one was like Sander, but he stopped feeling so alone all the time when he met the brightest scout he’s ever seen, Yasmina, her best friend Zoë and her boyfriend, Senne. After some time their group started getting bigger, when Zoë met Jana and she joined the group, bringing Lucas, her Dutch cousin, with herself. Some days later, when they were used to each other and comfortable enough as a group of friends, Lucas introduced Jens, the other guy who was always with him, as his boyfriend. Everyone cheered up at the news and welcomed him to the group and Robbe was happy for him, he really was, he just couldn’t help himself from feeling a bit sad at the thought that maybe that year it could be Sander and him in that position, but life had other plans.

At 18 Robbe came back to the summer camp and he had a bittersweet feeling when he got there and realized that it would be the last year he would be coming to the camp as a scout, that if he wanted to come back again on the next year he would be coming back as an instructor, to help the little kids, just like he was once helped. He felt a bit sad about it because he loved being a scout and he loved learning something new everyday, so leaving that behind would hurt, but he felt happy at the thought of being able to help those lost little kids that came back every year, full of energy and wonderment at the thought of becoming a scout. He still remembers the feeling of coming to the summer camp for the first time, it was probably the best day of his life.

When he got to the dining hall he was happy to see Yasmina, Zoë, Senne - now a camp instructor -, Jana, Lucas and Jens again. They had lunch together and talked for hours, filing each other in about what had been going on in the lives for the past year.

Later that day, Robbe went back to his lodge and was surprised to see he wasn’t alone. There, on the other bed, with his back to him, was a boy with platinum hair and before Robbe could even think about anything to say he saw a green duffel bag right beside the boy, and Robbe knew that bag, he would recognize it from a thousand miles away. He remembered all the secrets that bag used to hold, from prohibited snacks, cameras, sketchbooks and pencils, to water bottles and only once, cigarettes.

“Sander?”

Sander turned around, looked at Robbe with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes and looked down almost immediately. It was a lot to take in: his hair was different, he seemed taller, older, his face looked sad and tired, like he hasn’t had a good night’s sleep in forever, and as much as that was Sander standing right there in front of him, Robbe still felt like he didn’t recognize him at all. He felt like he couldn’t exactly pinpoint what happened to the boy whose smile was once brighter than the sun, who could make Robbe feel a whirlwind of emotions all at once and at the same time make him feel like nothing else existed besides the both of them and that all he’s ever known was peace when they were in each other’s company.

Some part of him knew that was still Sander, though, the same Sander he’s always loved, but he didn't know what to do. Robbe didn’t know if he could come closer and envelop him in a hug like he’s been dying to do since last summer, if he could talk to him and ask all the questions swimming in his mind, if he could finally say the words he wrote on that note two years ago out loud like he’s been dying to for so long, so much so that he felt like they were itching his lips, or if it was better to pretend nothing happened. Robbe was lost. Sander decided his next move for him, though, and said he was thirsty and left to go grab a bottle of water.

Days passed by and Robbe still didn’t know what to do. Their relationship was obviously shaken and he swore that if he could go back in time he would go back to that day he wrote the note and tear the paper into a million pieces if it meant getting his Sander back now.

He couldn’t stand seeing Sander like that anymore, treating him like he was just some random roommate and not a boy he loved too, because Robbe knew Sander loved him. He didn’t make up the things that happened in the last summer they were together, he didn’t hallucinate those things, they happened and everyone saw it and it was even worse when he saw how people looked at him now, like they pitied him for being kicked aside by his own very best friend.

So one day, after their usual afternoon tasks, when Robbe came back to his room he confronted Sander, in the gentlest way he could, asking him if he wanted to switch rooms or ask for another roommate, because if he didn’t feel comfortable with Robbe there he would be out of the room on the same day. He could spend the night at Lucas and Jens’ lodge, it was not like they used both beds anyway. No one would say anything.

Sander looked confused after Robbe said that, asking why would he ever be uncomfortable around him.

“Because of what I said, actually, because of what I gave you the last time we saw each other? You saw the note, didn’t you? That’s why you didn’t come last year, because you don’t feel the same way and didn’t know how to face me? That’s why you haven’t looked me in the face since you got here. I know it’s because of this. It’s okay, Sander, I can take rejection. Just, please, end this because I can’t take it anymore, it’s killing me.” Robbe said all at once.

When Robbe saw Sander looking for his wallet and opening it he rolled his eyes thinking about how ridiculous the situation was, but before he could leave the room Sander grabbed his arm and showed him his wallet, and right there, next to a photo they took on the last summer they were together, on a rainy day when all their schedule was cancelled and they spent the entire day in bed listening to music, talking and taking silly pictures on Sander’s camera, was Robbe’s note.

“I love you, too, Robbe. Always have and probably always will.” Sander admitted with a sigh. “It scared me when I first realized it, you know? But then I also realized that loving you was the simplest and easiest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Loving you came as natural as breathing to me, so I didn’t have to be scared. I didn’t want to be scared.”

Robbe couldn’t believe the words that were pouring out of Sander’s mouth, so Sander continued.

“I couldn’t wait to come back here and tell you, Robbe. God, I spent so many days thinking about how it would go.” He chuckled. “I had this big plan of telling you on the day it would mark 7 years we’ve met. I’d take you to the lake where we first met, do you remember where it was? We’d have a picnic and I’d tell you then.” Sander’s smile slowly disappeared. “But the end of the year came and some things happened and after months of going to several doctors I was diagnosed.”

Robbe’s breath hitched,

“I’m bipolar, Robbe.” Sander’s eyes were gleaming with unshed tears. “I was diagnosed by the end of spring and I didn’t know if it was a good idea for me to come to the summer camp, and even if it was I didn’t know if I wanted to. I was afraid things would change between us if I told you and I was still getting used to my medication, so I didn’t know if coming here was a smart choice. So I didn’t.” He took a deep breath. “I know I could’ve messaged you but I wanted to tell you in person, it didn’t seem fair to tell you all of this over a text message. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Robbe whispered. “Please don’t ever be sorry. Not about stuff like this.”

Sander sighed.

“Can I come closer?” Robbe asked. Sander nodded.

“Can I give you a hug?” Robbe asked. Sander nodded again.

And when Robbe hugged him he felt like all their broken pieces were being mended together and put in their rightful places.

They stood like that for what felt like forever, with Robbe whispering sweet nothings in Sander’s ear, telling him he didn’t have to carry the weight of the world in his shoulders, that Robbe was right there with him and they would get through everything together, like they always did at camp.

“We’ll take things minute by minute.” Robbe said, finally.

“How can I do that if I’ve spent most of my life thinking about the next summer? Thinking about how many days until I got to see your stupid face and play with you again? About when I would get to hug you and smell your stupid cologne?” Sander asked playfully, but Robbe knew he meant it.

“I don’t know, love. I, too, spent the last 8 years of my life thinking about summer and wondering when I would get to see the most beautiful green eyes I’ve ever seen in my life again, about when I would get to play with your hair - that I still need to get used to it being platinum - again. About warm hugs that felt, and still feel, like home. About sweet smiles that held all the mischief of the world in them, as well as all the love I never thought I was worthy of.” Robbe smiled softly at Sander. “So yeah, I don’t know what it’s like to live life not thinking about the future, but we’ll learn. Together, like we’ve always done. Like that time we didn’t know how to light a fire and we learned here. Or when we didn’t know the basics of first aid and we learned together after I hurt myself climbing that tree. Or when I got sick with the flu and you learned how to make soup. Or when I learned how to put your splint in the right place because you kept doing it wrong when you sprained your ankle. We did it all those times, we’ll do it again. You and I. Together.”

Sander kissed him then.

It felt like coming home.

Later, when they were lying in bed, sharing lazy kisses and soft touches, Sander apologized for the way he treated Robbe during those first days and Robbe told him it didn’t matter anymore, besides he was sorry for the way he spoke to him earlier too. They both agreed they would learn how to communicate better too.

They spent the rest of the day there, not knowing where one boy began and the other ended, talking about everything and nothing, catching up with each other’s lives, drifting in and out of sleep, sharing all kinds of kisses, playing with each other’s hair, knowing they would be fine.

At night, when two instructors came by to check on them because neither boy had come down to the dining room for lunch or dinner and found both boys lying beside each other on Robbe’s bed, hands intertwined and talking in hushed voices, they knew this time was different so they only muttered a Finally, you two, it was about time, and left them a tray of food, shaking their heads and laughing lightly at the two young boys in love.

On the next day they were released from their tasks because they were the camp’s sweethearts and all the instructors had a soft spot for them. They had watched their love blossom through all those years so they decided to let them have the day off to enjoy each other’s company after so much time apart.

Robbe and Sander took the opportunity to finally have their picnic and Sander officially asked Robbe to be his boyfriend. Robbe obviously said yes and they enjoyed the rest of the day basking in each other’s presence, enjoying the food they brought and the nice weather by the lake.

Before meeting everyone by the dining room for dinner, they updated their Instagrams.

At night, when they got to the dining room holding hands, everyone started cheering up and clapping their hands in excitement. Robbe swore he heard some catcalls too and he felt like he would die out of embarrassment. Sander squeezed his hand and told him to just ignore everyone as they made their way to the table where Yasmina, Zoë, Senne, Jana, Lucas and Jens were waiting for them with huge smiles on their faces.

Robbe introduced Sander to everyone and almost had a heart attack everytime he heard Sander introducing himself as Robbe’s boyfriend.

The weeks went by faster than Robbe and Sander wanted to, and when they realized it was already bonfire night they felt bittersweet about it. They spent the entire night beside each other, sharing a blanket and their food, reminiscing about the great summer they spent together and talking about future plans. Robbe was ecstatic to learn that Sander got a scholarship on a university 15 minutes away from where he lived, feeling relieved at the fact that they wouldn’t have to try the long distance relationship thing ever again. Sander felt proud when he heard Robbe and Yasmina talking about how they’d be study partners next fall, choosing to study biomedicine on Robbe’s hometown University.

Sander became the camp’s official photographer and took pictures of everyone all night long, but at the end of the night only one picture mattered to him.

On the last day, after saying their goodbyes, Robbe posted another picture on his Instagram.

Some minutes later he received a text.

From Sander: I love you and I already miss you. Can’t wait to see you again in a couple of weeks.

To Sander: I already miss you too. I’m counting down the days.

At 19, Robbe and Sander came back to the summer camp as instructors and everyone considered them legends. They were everyone’s favourites instructors because besides being great scouts and teaching the kids everything they needed to know, Robbe and Sander were also great at pretending they didn’t see when kids were up to no good, getting themselves into trouble and pranking each other. They wanted the kids to have as much fun as they once had.

Some years later, when they see a couple of girls who seem to be attached to each other’s hip, playing all the time and spending all of their time together, much like they did all those years ago, they only hope the girls don’t take as much time as they did to finally realize what is going on and do something about it.

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- okay so this was inspired by willem ds’ scout pic when i first saw it a few months ago and willem ds showing off his scout’s skills lighting up a fire some weeks ago on noa’s stories

- if you haven’t noticed i have never been a scout in my life so pardon me for the inaccuracy of things

- thank you for reading it, i hope you liked it! and if you want to: let me know what you think!

- please keep in mind that english is not my first language and no one proof read this so all mistakes are mine!

- this is dedicated to my girls @lightinthed4rk and @ayellowcurtain

- also tagging these babies cause they asked me to: @jxoxsxsxi and @mysterystardust

- thank you again!

#wtfock #wtfam #sobbe fic #robbe x sander

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afewmarvelousthoughts · 4 years

Text

My Only Comfort

Master List: @afewmarvelousthoughtsadmin

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Summary: Periods can suck. Supportive partners, less so. (This is in the “Only For A Moment” universe but can be read as a one shot.)

Warnings: None just FLUFF

A/N: This is purely self service. Idk if anyone will even care to read this. BUT my period had been brutalizing me for days and I just wanted to write a quick little fluffy bit to make myself feel better. Maybe you need it too!

It’s funny how easy it is to forget the little things over the years. Like how you loved the cherry blossoms in Brooklyn. Or how costume storage often smelled like mothballs and vodka. Or how much being on your period absolutely sucked.

When you had your first full medical exam in Wakanda and they asked when your last cycle had been you honestly couldn’t say. It wasn’t something you spared much thought to. Until then you hadn’t even thought much about birth control or any other form of contraception. For a moment you’d felt a little surge of panic.

Turned out you were worried over nothing, at least as far as getting knocked up went.

You almost laughed when they found that Hydra had sterilized you. For years you’d fought to get your tubes tied or any other kind of permanent birth control - the last thing you needed or wanted was to bring a kid into the world - only to be constantly denied due to your age. For once, Hydra had done something you’d actually appreciated.

Your lack of a menstrual cycle could be pretty easily chalked up to them likely controlling it with hormones when they had you and the time after to constant stress. No big deal.

Except, being in Wakanda had taken away a massive load of that stress. No longer were you afraid to be found daily, living a false life, always ready for the next fight. Now, you were rebuilding your life, both of you were. It was almost a dream.

Until your uterus made you dream of being stressed enough to shut her up again.

Your first period had been pretty light, nothing to really complain about. This one though… Maybe Hydra had actually replaced your uterus with a tiny angry monster that was going to claw its way from your body Alien style.

Around 3 a.m. you wake, your entire lower body screaming literal bloody murder.

Slithering from the bed you’ve only one thought on your mind - hot, steaming, scalding water. Quickly you rid yourself of your wrecked underwear and turn on the shower. Leaning your head against the tile wall you let the water pound against your throbbing back, silently praying your body will stop this mutiny so you can get some sleep.

Tomorrow was a full day with classes and drills with the Dora Milaje, none of which you wanted to miss. There wasn’t time for this bullshit.

Sighing you open your eyes, turning to face the water and catch a figure outside the steam covered shower glass. Logically, you know it’s Bucky but your tired foggy brain still sends a startled gasp tumbling out of your mouth. Some warrior you were.

“Holy shit, Buck!” You exclaim, opening the door enough to see him.

“Sorry!” He holds his hand up, face looking a little pale. “There was blood and - I just, I didn’t think.”

Guilt and just the slightest bit of embarrassment flood you. In the grip of the pain, you hadn’t even thought to check the bed. Of course, his mind would go to the darkest option first upon seeing blood.

“No, it’s ok.” You move to turn off the water, “I’ll deal with it. Sorry.” His hand stops yours. When you look back that kind smile is on his lips, it always sucked your breath right from your chest.

“There’s nothing for you to deal with. Take your time.” He must read the defiance in your expression. “If you’re not in this shower for at least 10 more minutes I’m dragging you back into it myself.”

“That sounds like a challenge,” you quip before a stab of pain makes you groan. He kisses your knuckles and leaves you to the steamy room.

When you finally turn off the water, a little pruney but feeling a bit better you find one of Bucky’s shirts and a fresh pair of underwear on the counter. This man. Toweling your hair you step out to thank him only to see him remaking the bed with fresh sheets.

“Babe,” you protest, “you didn’t have to-”

“Hush.” He gestures to a steaming mug on your bedside table. “It’s the tea Okoye gave me, the relaxing one.” Before you can say anything he reads your mind, “I know you hate tea but drink it anyway.”

“Just hot leaf juice,” you grumble with a smile on your face as you lift the mug to your nose to smell the contents. Earthy and slightly floral.

“Coffee is technically hot bean juice,” he says, putting a pillow back in its case.

“Blasphemy! I demand a divorce.”

He rolls his eyes, “Maybe when the sun’s out. Get in bed.”

“But my hot leaf juice,” you say in a false whine. He settles his back against the padded headboard, arm held out.

“You can bring your leaf juice, just come here.”

With a sigh, you crawl into bed. Bucky holds you tight, your back to his chest. You sip your tea, begrudgingly admitting that it wasn’t the worst and seemed to be coaxing your tense muscles into submission.

“Thank you for changing the sheets,” you say, voice groggy.

“Of course, doll. Anything else I can do?” You shake your head, tucked under his chin. “Here,” he plucks the half-empty mug from your hands, setting it on his nightstand.

He scootches you both down into the warm fresh bed. Your head rests on his chest and unerringly your right-hand finds it’s way over to the steady beat of his heart, the feeling of its rhythm under your palm always soothing.

Before you drift off you hear him whisper, “Sleep well, sweetheart.”

Your alarm is an unholy sound scant hours later.

“Not yet,” you grumble - hand flopping to turn it off.

“Not at all,” Bucky says, his own voice still thick with sleep.

“I have to-”

“You ‘aveta’ nothin’,” a bit of that long lost accent slips out. Even in your exhausted state, it makes you smile. “You need to rest.”

“Bucky,” you sit up, “it’s a period, not the flu I will be-”

“Staying home. Glad we agree.” He hooks his arm around you tugging you to him.

“I need to at least let Okoye know-”

“I told her last night. Now. Sleep.”

You do. Hard and deep. When you awake it’s to the familiar smell of bacon and the sound of Bucky, singing softly along to the Beetles in the kitchen - the words to “Hey Jude” clear.

The only dark spot on the otherwise perfect moment was the feeling that you were still being torn at from the inside. Quietly you swear that this is the last time - whatever you have to do you’ll do it to keep this beast at bay moving forward.

Before going to the kitchen you fist one of Bucky’s flannel button-ups from the closet and slip it on over your tee. The familiar scent so soothing.

“Morning gorgeous,” Bucky beams at you as you walk into the kitchen.

“Haha,” you say. You’d seen yourself in the mirror. Shit was rough.

Turning from his pan he catches you before you get your mug. His blue eyes glitter causing your heart skips several beats. When he kisses you he tastes like coffee and love and home.

“You are always beautiful to me, Y/N.”

You smile so big your cheeks hurt, “Sap.” Batting him away playfully you pour a mug of coffee.

“Go on and have a seat,” he says pulling the bacon out. “The eggs’ll be quick.”

You perch cross-legged at the little two-seater table, unable to hold back a contented sigh.

Eggs plated he brings the food to the table. Your heart swells, as it does any time he makes you breakfast, always reminding you of the first morning you spent together.

“One more thing,” he heads back into the kitchen and pulls out something from the oven, covered in foil.

“Pancakes?!” You stare in mouthwatering wonder.

“Yup,” he says smugly, reaching into a cabinet to produce syrup. He tops off your coffee before settling down.

“I say we eat, take a nap, eat again, maybe watch something. I’ll cook dinner, and-”

“You’re going to cook dinner?” You ask, more than a little surprised. Bucky was pretty confident in the breakfast realm but dinner was a different thing.

“I’ve been learning!” He protests. It was true, he often joined you in the kitchen, though he tended to be a bit frustrated by your inability to give clear instructions. His face softens as he reaches his hand across the table to stroke the back of your hand.

“Let me take care of you.” It’s not a question. He’s learned that sometimes he has to match your stubborn self-sufficiency with his own immovable will. And for your part, you’re learning that it’s not so bad to let someone take the wheel from time to time.

You smile and nod, surprisingly happy to let go and bask in the comfort of his care.

@bluegirlusa1 @l0kisbitch @tazzi-baby @disagreetoagree @woodyandbuzz20-01 @mooniightbucky @saundrasays @breezy1415 @alyssaj23 @mywinterwolf @wonderlandmind4 @fairislesheets @anamcg317 @buckaroo-barnes @jazztherebel @peachthatdrinkslemonade @regulusirius @auskitty @babyimp1967 @katecolleen @handplucked @stevehesaidabadlanguageword @darkdragonphoenix @issanitydead @thestorydetective @buckysstar @wintersoldierswhore @greyeyedsmile14 @watchoutforfrostbite @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @jewelofwinter @siriuslycloudy2 @hardygal69 @marvelousmeggi @jdoenson @gamorazenn @wildmoonflower @cutie1365 @demonlover87 @winterboobearsworld @this-kitten-is-smitten @damnaged-princess

#bucky x reader #bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fluff #comfort fluff #soft bucky

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scandalsavagefanfic · 4 years

Text

DC Kink Meme Prompts List

Since the kink meme is getting a lot of attention and growing daily, I thought I’d post a convenient place where I can keep track of the prompts that I’d like to see filled again. I figure you’re all here because we share similar interests and this way, if you’re a writer with looking for a prompt, you don’t have to scroll through the almost 400 prompts that are currently posted.

So here we go. Beware, this is a kink meme. These are nsfw and some may be triggering.

JayDick Watersports - Filled HERE

sub!Jason & Dom!Dick are in a consensual D/s relationship that has a heavy Master/slave dynamic (whether 24/7 or primarily during sex is up to you!). They're on a stakeout one night, and it's really cold, and, aw, fuck, Dick needs to piss, but he doesn't want his dick to freeze. Good thing he's got his bitch there with him, right? Dick pissing in Jay's ass preferred just to show the level of not caring about Jay's comfort [it's still cold!], but totally not gonna complain about piss drinking, either, if Dick's feeling a little more charitable. Is Jay surprised because it's the first time Dick has done this? Is this a normal, expected duty that he performs regularly? That's up to you!

Tim/Jason A/B/O - Filled

In an A/B/O world where omegas are in charge and alphas are treated like animals, or kept as pets, CEO Tim decides to treat himself to a new toy and buys Jason. Feel free to go as wild as you like with the kinks, I'm pretty unsquickable

Tim/Jason Stalker!Tim - Filled on the Meme by anon and HERE (by me)

Older Tim, younger Jason, where Tim's stalking gets a little obsessive once Jason takes over as Robin, and he starts stalking Jason out of costume as well as at night. A little judicious hacking later and he's able to keep an eye on Jason's internet activity too. Once he finds Jason looking at gay porn he knows he's got an in. And he starts blackmailing Jason, online at first, but escalating every time he gets Jason to go a little further, until he gets him to submit in person.

Slade/Dick/Jason - Filled amazingly HERE

Dick's been with Slade for a while, and now that he's stopped fighting and given into his training, Slade thinks he deserves a reward. Every good boy deserves a puppy, and Batman's new Robin looks like he could fit the role perfectly.

Jason Todd - Object Insertion - Filled on the meme (art)

Honestly, that's all I've got for you. I just want someone making Jason take things up his ass that have no business being there. Consensual or not are both fine! Any ship, though definitely a strong preference for Roy, Slade, Tim, Kyle, Dick, Roman or Ra's. Preferably not underage, but I'm not entirely opposed.

Ra's/Jason - Filled HERE

Ra's test drives an undunked Jason. The boy must be useful for something, after all, and he looks so pretty in chains. ABO welcome.

Prompt- Pegging (Jason) - Filled HERE

Jason gets pegged by one (or more ;)) of the lovely ladies of the DC universe. And enjoys it thoroughly Pairing is dealer's choice. <3

Bruce/Jason

Bruce takes in Jason off the streets, but more for use as a personal whore than to be Robin. Bonuses for Bruce still adopting Jason and getting off on fucking his son. EXTRA bonus points for Alfred's unfazed acceptance/support of it and perhaps even his participation.

Jason Todd Intercrural Sex - Filled on meme

This man deserves more thigh fucking and so do we! All ships welcome!

No Title - Bruce/Jason, Dick finds out Bruce has been sexually abusing Jason

One of the other prompts made me realize that while there are a lot of fics where Jason discovers Bruce has been abusing Dick, there are none the other way around and suddenly I have a craving. So I would like for Dick to find out (maybe right after Jason returns, Dick catches them and overhears Bruce say something to indicate it used to happen regularly) that Bruce had been sexually abusing Jason since the moment he found him and try to save him. And like, because of his background as a child prostitute, Jason kind of thinks it's normal or that it's the only way he could earn love? Maybe Bruce implies that Jason is useless otherwise and he'd end up back on the streets if he's not useful. Maybe Bruce is even happy to point out that the reason he never even considered touching the others is because they were too good for it, pure and wholesome, while Jason was ruined goods.

Dick/Jason fuck-or-die bottom!Jay

I would absolutely kill to see a fic where Dick is forced to fuck Jason (for whatever reason but preferably not due to sex pollen/aphrodisiacs/drugs - I would prefer if they were both in their right minds please) Preferably they wouldn't be in a relationship or have secret feelings for each other and this would be mutual noncon/rape with a focus on how horrified they are that they're having to do this to each other. I would really, really like if it was bottom!Jason for this, but that there is acknowledgement that Dick is being raped here too!

Skeezy Ric Grayson

One specific fic I read has completely coloured my perception of Ric, and now I'm just desperate to see him being a total creep. Perving on his siblings and former friends. Would love to see him not take no for an answer, especially with someone who doesn't want to fight back because "it's still Dick in there somewhere, I can't hurt him" or something like that. Preference for Wally (HiC who?) or Jason, but Tim, Roy, Babs or Donna would be okay, too! A/B/O with Alpha!Ric would be a bonus but isn't necessary.

Cassie/Rose bondage spanking and D/s, semi-dubious consent

Cassie has had enough of Rose mouthing off and causing trouble, so she ties her up with her lasso and lectures her. Rose mockingly asks her if she’s going to spank her for being a bad girl, and much to her surprise, Cassie does. They both enjoy it much more than expected

Nyssa/Talia

Nyssa/Talia, set post-Death and the Maidens, Talia restrained while Nyssa gets her off, begging to be allowed to reciprocate. Bonus points for twisty fucked up Nyssa POV with all kinds of big global megalomaniacal justifications for what she's doing and how important it is to the greater good. (Reposted from old DC kinkmeme)

Jason Todd/Dick Grayson/Roy Harper/Koriand’r

Kori loves watching her subs play with each other and rewards them well for good behavior

JayTim hatesex

Jason and Tim having incestuous-sibling-rivalry-hate-sex against the memorial

Any Bats/???, Alfred has to clean up

Poor Alfred often gets stuck cleaning up the mess when any of the family bring partners over. The crackier the circumstances the better!

Slade/Jason identity porn

Slade and Jason fuck while in costume as and pretending to be Batman and Nightwing respectively

Kyle Rayner/any

Kyle winds up working as a stripper somehow. Some other heroes find out and pay him a visit

Batfam/Jason; non con or resigned-to-his-fate cumdumpster!Jason

Could also be Earth-3 Owlfam/Jason. A/B/O welcome but it doesn't have to be. Would appreciate any one or combination of the following: dehumanization/objectification, humiliation, public sex, breeding kink, restraints, fucking machines, cum enemas, lots of cum in general, size kink... I just want something unapologetically filthy. I'm pretty much good with everything but scat.

Dick/Tim non/dub-con, universe hopping

Dark Dick from a dark universe ends up in the main universe, where he is delighted to find a brand new Timmy to play with, who unconditionally trusts his brother and doesn't know he's been replaced. Cue Dick slowly luring him in so he can have his fun. Tim doesn't realize until it's too late, or doesn't realize at all and has no idea how his beloved older brother could do this to him. Main universe has fully platonic, familial relationships within in the batfam. Feel free to imply/state anything you like about the dark universe. Grooming/slowly warming Tim up to more and more touches, crying, overstimulation, bondage, or any combination thereof are all bonuses

Young Justice S3 Dick/Jason omegaverse

Alpha!Dick Grayson is stuck on a mission and somehow has to help the mysterious Red-Hooded omega through his heat. But they have to stay quiet in order to not wake the pup Damian sleeping right next to them. Preferably there's an identity reveal in there where Dick finds out the omega is Jason Todd under the mask.

Addict!Roy Harper Noncon

Noncon (or possibly dubcon, if the manipulation is clear enough to readers) with Snowbirds Don't Fly era!Roy Harper as the victim. Could be an OC, another Titan, a Leaguer, a canon villain... Dealer's choice! Looking for something that really focuses on how he's being taken advantage of, rather than just "can't technically consent because he's high, but is totally into it."

Woder Woman/Batman, Rough Sex

Bruce loves it when Diana is rough with him

Bane/Bruce, violent noncon

Something set during Knightfall, where Bane decides to take “breaking the Bat” even further by raping Bruce and possibly also his precious little Robin

Jay/Tim bdsm AU, sub Jay

What it says on the tin. Was thinking maybe also an arranged marriage of sub Jason to dom Tim Drake, to cement a business union but also because subs aren’t full citizens.

Robin!Jason/Bruce Somnophilia

Bruce drugs his new little Robin and slips into his room. He takes his time with him, enjoying Jason before carefully opening and fucking him. Would be great if Jason wakes up towards the end but can't do anything but take it- maybe because of the drugs, maybe because of the way Bruce is holding him down, or even because he likes it.

Sidekicks/Villains noncon glory wall

Any sidekicks you want—Speedy, the Robins and Batgirls, Kid Flash and Impulse, the Wonder girls, etc.—being displayed in a glory wall, leaving their holes open for fucking. Interested villains can pay to fuck any hole they desire, and they enjoy wrecking the sidekicks and filling them with come

Robin!Jason/Villains & Henchmen?

Robin Jason gets captured and tied up by the villain of the week, who decides to take advantage of the situation. Robin is blindfolded and groped/fucked by the villain and maybe some henchmen while waiting for Batman to rescue him. Batman finding a bound and blind Jay too tempting to resist is a bonus.

Dickjay daddy kink

Older! Dick and bottom! Jason. Jason came back years later and Dick is around 40.

OmegaJason/Batfam first heat, lactation

It's Jason's first heat and the alphas of the pack know that his milk is on its way soon. All it needs is a little encouragement. A few knots and some nipple play should do it. His milk tastes perfect as it starts to flow.

Jason/Dick, Jason/RomanSionis, Hooker!Jason & Officer Grayson

So this is based off a discussion from AGES ago in the jayroman discord server that I still think about to this day XD A no capes au in which Jason never gets picked up by Bruce and ends up a crime alley prostitute who somehow along the way caught the eye of Black Mask and winds up working for him. And Black Mask has basically the whole city in his pocket, including the police force, which is why it’s so annoying when this little upstart, Officer Dick Grayson, starts to try to challenge his hold on the city, the little goody two-shoes denying any and all bribes and refusing to back down in the face of threats. And it should be easy to squash one annoying little bug, but somehow all attempts have failed and he can’t openly go after him without risking his reputation as a clean, law-abiding businessman, a reputation that’s slowly starting to unravel thanks to the dogged efforts of Officer Grayson, because the little shit is annoyingly not as stupid as his attempts to go after Roman would make him seem and despite all of Roman’s power and having basically the entire police force and the various other government officials Roman has in his pocket against him, he has made far too much headway in his endeavors So Roman gives Jason the job of seducing Dick, because if bribery and threats don’t work, video evidence of an officer fucking an underage hooker makes excellent blackmail material, and should be enough to take him down for good if he ever steps a toe out of line again Except no matter how Jason tries to seduce him, Dick is just too decent a guy to take advantage (Ex: Jason: *shows up wearing even more revealing clothes than the night before.* Dick: “You must be cold, here, take my jacket.” etc.) And before he knows it, Jason finds himself growing weirdly fond of the infuriating idiot with his stupid puns and painful sincerity

Roman Sionis/Jason Todd, AOB noncon impregnation gang rape

Intersex AOB verse. Roman wants to punish and claim the upstart omega, so he plugs Jason’s cunt and lets his men anally rape Jason until the omega begs Roman to breed his pussy

TimKon, a/b/o, alpha!Tim, bottom Conner

Humans have a/b/o. Kryptonians do not. Alpha!Tim thinks that he shouldn't bother Kon about Tim's rut. Kon thinks otherwise. Whether Kon can keep up with Tim (superpowers got to be good for something, right?) or is overwhelmed is up to anon :) I am absolutely unsquickable so whatever extra kinks are fine with me. Just please top!Tim only. Please, my crops are dying.

past romanjay now mobJay, gangbang

After getting tired with his new toy, Roman decided to just give his subordinates a chance to have fun with it. But mostly he just want to see the red hood to get more humiliated after destroying his empire.

Damian Wayne/Jason Todd, bestiality

It's time for Damian to introduce his new acquired pet to the pack, Titus and Ace.

Tim gags and spanks Damian

Red Robin has to take Robin out on patrol because Batman is away, Damian is reckless and keeps disobeying orders so Tim punishes him while having him gagged for being mouthy. can progress to something more sexual but doesn't have to be. Damian secretly enjoying it is a bonus.

Deathstroke/All the Robins

Slade really has a thing for fighting and chasing after Batbrats…

Rose/Jason mommy kink edging and pegging

Jason wants to be a good boy for mommy, Rose rewards his good behavior

Jason Todd/Kyle Rayner hatesex - Filled

I’d love some rough, angry, violent hatesex between these two. Bonus points for snarky asshole bottom!jason and kyle using his ring to make restraints/other kinky constructs ;)

Flashpoint!Father Todd/Incubus!Dick

Incubus!Dick seduces Father Todd. Jason holds out longer than most but Dick prides himself on being irresistible. He’s never failed before and he doesn’t plan to start now. But maybe, instead of his usual dine-and-ditch MO, Dick think’s he might like to savor this meal for long. Jason falls so beautifully. (bottom Jason please) Catholic aesthetics, blasphemy as kink, church sex (altar, confessional, pews, etc)

Flashpoint Thomas Wayne/Father Todd

Thomas Wayne as Batman bends Father Todd over the altar. In uniform. (At least for Thomas. It would be super hot if he strips Father Todd out of his robes first. Maybe everything except his rosary?)

Jason/Tim rape

Tim ties down Jason and rides(rapes) him. Pls let Tim use Jason as nothing but a mere meat dildo.

Titans/Dick, Titans/Jason, Titans/Tim consensual gangbang - Filled

The not-so-secret tradition of team bonding by fucking the current Bat on the Teen Titans is well-adhered to, especially given the enthusiastic consent of all participants Feel free to include any or all: garden sex, pool sex, power use, DP, riding, pegging, toy use, CBT, nipple play, cockwarming, CFNM/CMNM, and consensual somno All other kinks welcome excluding scat, watersports, emeto, ageplay, vore, and anything else bloody

Thomas Elliot/Bruce Wayne (Rape/Non-con)

Bruce doesn't realise how obsessed Thomas really is with him. Leads to Hush raping Bruce. Can be when Bruce knows who Hush is or when he still doesn't know.

Evil!Dick and Jason, noncon or dubcon

Jason comes back to his safehouse and is surprised to find Dick already there. After the initial surprise, Jason is quick to find out that there's something... off, about this Dick. He's not acting like his usual self. It turns out this isn't the usual Dick that Jason is familiar with, instead, he is a darker version of him (drugged? Talon from Earth-3 that somehow ends up in the main universe? other possibilities? all welcome options!), and this Dark!Dick is obsessed with Jason and wants to fuck him... and he doesn't take no for an answer. So there's a setup for a non-con or dub-con(in case Jason also has a crush on main Dick) for you. Restraints (gags, ropes, tapes etc.) are also welcome but doesn't have to be present.

Kon-El/Lex Luthor Daddy Kink DubCon

Lex genetically programmed Kon to need his daddy to fill him up when he created him. Lex made Kon to check all his boxes (ie Superman, something he made, a gifted teenager). Kon can’t actually consent because of programming, and he doesn’t want it until he’s getting it. Can be simple daddy kink or full of abdl. Bonus points for trans!Kon

Guy Gardner/Bunch of Aliens possible Dubcon/Noncon

Macho, hotheaded, shit-talking Guy is the embodiment of hyper-masculinity, and that arrogance of his gets him into a lot more than just a bar fight. All of Guy's enemies seem to be of the huge, muscular variety, so let's see the most stocky lantern get put in his place. Does he secretly love it? Does he outright hate it? Maybe all that shit-talking was just a ploy to finally get someone to "punish" him right. The choice is up to you. Maybe it's a bunch of random aliens Guy's ticked off in a bar. Maybe all that showboating's pissed off Kilowog or Arkillo. Maybe Lobo's still put out after being tricked one too many times by Guy. Perhaps, Atrocitus's still kinda harboring a grudge for Guy kicking him out of the Red Lanterns. Then there's always the way too touchy Dementor with his Vuldarian kin. I'm all for any other kinks or situations, I just would prefer no bathroom stuff. Go absolutely wild.

Black Mask/anyone, bathroom control, omorashi - Filled on meme

I'm a simple person with simple needs: Roman controlling whether or not someone's allowed to piss. can be consensual or noncon torture, the victim can end up pissing themselves or make it to the bathroom safely. just as long as Roman's in total control of the situation, and smug about it. bonus points: tears, begging, banter, degradation, embarrassment, additional torture, anything else along those lines. watersports only, please, no scat!

Roy Clones/Dick gangbang omegaverse

YJ season 3 episode 4 has excellent gangbang material just so you know Add omegaverse to it and its perfect Noncon/dubcon is accepted also

Titans/Jason Gangbang

Prefer comics based more than the show but either is fine. Dick and his friends welcome the new Robin the Titans way, by breaking in that hole. New kid is always the team toy, and it's even more fun now that it's Nightwing's bratty kid brother. Consensual or non con, dealer's choice. Double (or triple) penetration, dirty talk, and powers used for sex are favorite kinks but I'm good with pretty much anything.

Willis Todd/Jason Todd, Mob/Jason; Incest and forced underage prostitution

Willis pimps out his kid for cash and drugs. Catherine either pretends she doesn't know or knows and helps/doesn't care. And like any good salesman, he makes sure to test out his product to make sure it's up to snuff.

Make it cruel and awful and hopeless. Dehumanizing and degrading. Jason is just a hole to sell and use. belting in sensitive areas, beatings, violent sex, cum play, blood play... I just want something dark and nasty.

____________________________________________________

Woo! Ok. I’ll try to keep this up the best I can. I’ll link/mark when prompts are filled so that you guys can check it out if you want (all filled prompts can be reached by the link in the title, but some have ao3 links that I put on the “Filled” note).

I’ll also reblog this with any new prompts that come up or if I find I’ve forgotten one.

#DC Kink Meme #long post #too many things to tag #content and trigger warnings apply to some of the prompts #enter at your own risk #mostly Jason Todd centric #but others that I liked too

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a-crimson-lion · 4 years

Text

A (Hopefully) Reasonable Response

For @kiricookie .

[Read this if you want the following ramblings to make any sense.]

(Sorry this is so hecking long and all over the place, I just wanted to be thorough.)

[Manga Spoilers and Movie Spoilers Ahead]

I’m gonna do things a little differently here.

For starters, I’m gonna not gonna be addressing the fandom at large, because the fandom at large won’t be able to give me an answer.

I’m just talking to you, kiricookie. Because it’s your post, and you deserve to know what people (like myself) think of it. Just letting you know right now, and this is with absolutely NO sarcasm: I won’t be rude. I’ll do my damndest to not be rude.

Because you didn’t go and make that post and share it with the entirety of the world wide web just for it to get ridiculously crapped on without so much as a glance.

So, I’ll read it. I’ll think about it. And I’ll give you my thoughts. You don’t have to read them if you don’t want to. But common courtesy makes it so I leave the opportunity. You deserve that much.

You probably already know what this is about anyway. So I’ll start with something… unexpected, at least coming from someone like me…

...you’re right.

To be more specific, you’re right about Tenya. You’re right about how his split second decision to murder Stain should be concerning and in fact is concerning. You’re right about how he’s the most prone to lose his control and how his emotions get the better of him. You’re right about all that.

*Internal wince* Now, if you don’t mind me going into other details…

I’m not saying anything that spurnned on Tenya to murder the Hero Killer was in any way justified; it wasn’t. It never could be, it never should be. Murder is wrong no matter how the hell you look at it, and even if you have no choice but to go through with it, you shouldn’t be happy that you had to take someone’s life under any circumstances. But looking through Tenya’s perspective for a moment… he lost a brother, in a way. He lost a hero. Someone extremely close to him, who inspired him and others, who did nothing but good in any way he possibly could. And then he got cut down by someone who Tenya only knows as the antithesis of good and now his brother can’t do any good, or at least not as much as he used to.

Again, that doesn’t excuse attempted murder. In a morbid way, it’s sort of the logical extreme of when we saw Tenya at the start of the series: he immediately writes of Izuku because he only sees him as a hindrance and recognizes his own shortcomings after the fact. He immediately guns after Stain because he did something unforgivable in his eyes, and recognizes his own shortcomings after the fact.

In the heat of the moment, Tenya is prone to failure. He is prone to misjudgement. We’re talking about the same guy who decked his best friend because he was about to do something borderline illegal. The entire point of Tenya is to showcase the distance between what he wants to be and what he actually is, and the steps he takes to get there.

But yeah, the murder plot was a tad… oh who am I kidding, a HELL of a lot of overkill.

But circling back to why we keep scrutinizing Katsuki about his mannerisms while we keep praising Tenya from sunrise to sunset… I can’t speak for all of us Bakugo antis, because I know some of us have legitimate reasons for disliking him and the others are butthurt record players on repeat that you mentioned, but I can at least give out my reasoning behind it.

We don’t talk often about Tenya having a murder episode because he never tries to do it again, and he legit tries to improve and avoid anything similar happening again.

After the Hosu incident, Tenya admits that Stain was right about him, and he resolves to not be a screw up from then on out. He makes an effort to be a better class representative, a better example than what he had been setting before. He doesn’t deck Izuku just because “hE aNgY” during the Hideout Raid arc; he doesn’t want Izuku to make the same mistakes as he did, because everyone else was worried about Tensei, Stain, and Tenya, but Tenya was so dead set on “righting a wrong” that he ignored everyone around him and nearly got himself killed for it, and if things were any worse in Hosu, Tenya might not have been the only one dead. For all intents and purposes, that’s what Tenya thinks is happening again when the Bakugo Rescue Squad suggests tracking their friend down.

And like you mentioned when Tenya offered to lend an ear to Izuku when the Shie Hassaikai incident was tearing him apart from the inside, that’s the progression coming full circle. Tenya realizes that there are other people in the equation that he needs to listen to and that need to be listened to, otherwise they’ll do something completely ludicrous and get themselves and/or other people hurt in the process.

And the thing is, Tenya only needs to have his “Oh f***” moment once. And it’s barely brought up again, which puts out of the audience’s minds.

(Sidenote, while you’re “heroes not killing is weak” thing kinda came out of left field with me, I actually agree. A whole lot actually. Just so you know.)

The thing about Katsuki is that everything supposedly “wrong” with him… is still kinda going on to some extent. Sure, the people at UA have thicker skin and are willing to brush him off or call him out, but that doesn’t change the fact that some of his behavior is… highly concerning.

Personally I tend to avoid the Episode 1 suicide baiting (“avoid,” not “ignore”) because it was forever ago and it is repetitive, but I still think it needs to be addressed to some degree. In any case, Katsuki’s actions throughout the series are what get me and others to not think he’s exactly hero material. In any team exercises, he often puts himself at the forefront (not without reason, but still) and tends to shy away from tag-teaming unless his back’s against the wall. Despite what the Joint Training Arc would claim, Baku did most of the heavy lifting on his own, with little to no actual teamwork, though that’s more of a narrative problem than an in-universe problem. Even his teamwork with Izuku is still shaky at best; he keeps yelling at him, berating him, and telling him to do his best just so he won’t screw Katsuki over.

Say what you will about Katsuki’s “unique” personality, it may fly with his classmates, but realistically speaking, it’s gonna be a problem for when he does get into Professional Hero work. Can he be rude and snarky on professional business? Absolutely. Does he have to scream at his partner(s) whilst making them feel like they’re at the bottom of the barrel? Eh…

Before I commit to your last paragraph, I wanna bring up something. We can both agree that Tenya lost a hero when Tensei was attacked, right? We can both agree that his decision to ignore everyone and go in guns blazing was terrible, 0/10, wouldn’t recommend, right?

Okay. It’s not to the same degree, but… Katsuki has done something similar.

Katsuki lost a hero too. His name was All Might?

And what did Katsuki do well after the fight was over. He didn’t talk about it with anyone. He dragged out his childhood friend so he could rough him up, because fists is the only way he knows how to deal with his disconnect of societal expectations and, as AO3 would attest, Katsuki is complete s*** at feelings.

Katsuki did the same things Tenya did, albeit to a lesser degree. They both lost a hero. They both didn’t talk about it to anyone. And in the end, they both tried to hurt someone in order to alleviate their pain. The aftermath is… admittedly lucky for both parties.

So, about your last paragraph before the GIF… do you wanna know why antis (at least like me) keep bringing up Katsuki’s previous mistakes. It’s less so because they ever happened, or even because Katsuki did them. It’s more so because despite what the narrative and most of the fandom may think, Katsuki’s mistakes are never treated as such, at least not substantially. Eraserhead doesn’t even bother giving Katsuki a pep-talk about his behavior on the first day, or at any time he’s there to witness Katsuki acting like a jackass. All Might doesn’t stop the training exercise when Katsuki nearly kills a fellow student, which he was aware of being a possibility but it’s fine so long as he dodges, and it isn’t even addressed properly afterwards. In the Final Exams, Katsuki hitting his partner and later being dragged out the gate doesn’t bar him from passing, like say, Hanta; while Katsuki did contribute more, it doesn’t change the fact that his initial uncooperative behavior wouldn’t fly in the Pro Hero world, and he made himself a liability in those last few seconds against All Might. Even him losing the Provisional License Exam isn’t as big of a deal, because Katsuki gets to learn about a really important Quirk, no one’s grilling him like, say, Izuku is getting grilled, and not having his License and getting an additional day of house arrest spares him a potential “maybe strength isn’t everything” ass whooping from Mirio. I could go on a bit longer, but I think you get the jist.

Now, I’d absolutely LOVE it if society didn’t royally f*** up Katsuki’s perspective the way it did, but the problem is that the narrative has absolutely no intention of showing or admitting that Katsuki’s perspective is problematic. Ever since Deku vs Kacchan 2 decided that was enough development for Katsuki, he is always in the right, 100% of the time. Any opposition is few and far between, and will often be seen in the wrong anyway despite the legitimate concerns a person like Katsuki would present. Sure he can tell a kid not to look down on people during the Remedial Course arc, but when the Cultural Festival comes around he immediately decides to look down on the other classes. The fact that a majority of UA hates Class 1A is some grade-A bulls***, but the speech Katsuki gives to 1-A is also bulls***.

It essentially boils down to “F*** everybody else and only do things for yourself.” Because that’s what heroes are supposed to do…

That aside, Katsuki needs help. He needs therapy, anger management, and someone who won’t take his s*** just because he’s a so-called natural born leader with a flashy Quirk, because that’s what canon essentially boils down to. Any time Katsuki takes the lead, at least in my eyes, it’s less so because he’s a legitimately good leader and more so because the narrative has decided he’s the only one who should be taking charge.

I want Katsuki to improve, even if I personally have given up on the prospect of that happening. The problem starts when the narrative continually insists that Katsuki is more or less in the clear and is totally fine when really, he isn’t.

Izuku needing help is obvious and valid, but Katsuki needing (and getting) help is valid, too. Now if only the narrative could pick up on that.

And as for that last bit of your post… really, I can only speak for myself. As strong as Izuku is, as much as his opinion matters in this entire debacle, I can’t help but feel like Izuku is more blinded by nostalgia more than anything else. He still wants a connection with someone he’s known since childhood, and I can respect that, but the thing is, Katsuki spent nearly a decade telling Izuku, intentionally or otherwise, that he didn’t want the same thing. This continued from the time Izuku tried to help Katsuki out of a river all the way until after the Sludge Villain incident. And society had a hand in that bulls***tery, Katsuki was never the only culprit, but he was still a prominent one. And I don’t know about you, but nearly two years is probably not as long as you’d like to think it is, because that’s how long that it’s been since the overplayed, overrepeated suicide bait. And even ignoring that, two years isn’t enough of a gap between the near decade of societal degradation Izuku had to suffer through.

I don’t hate that Izuku is so forgiving. I hate that Katsuki isn’t willing to accept or consider it in any meaningful capacity. I hate that in a world where Tenya Iida, Shoto Todoroki, Kota Izumi, and even Gentle Criminal exist, that Katsuki has to be the contrarian because of his damn pride. And again, society f***ed up on that end, but that doesn’t stop the fact that Katsuki has actively refused to pursue other options, instead staying on the first and foremost thought of “blast it,” with his Quirk or his voice, unless he’s in combat, in which case it becomes “blast it but don’t be stupid about it.” Because Izuku’s forgiveness has worked before for the benefit of others. What does Katsuki get from Izuku’s forgiveness he doesn’t even fully accept, other than another obstacle he sees that needs to be beaten?

Yeah he’s still 16, yeah he’s a teenager and therefore still has the time to grow proper, but you know who else is 16? Tenya Iida. Shoto Todoroki. Two prickly, borderline asshole characters who also received gradual growth, faced setbacks and proceeded to grow past them. Meanwhile, Katsuki is still just passing the halfway point. I’m not putting that on Katsuki, but if Hori really wanted us to root for him, he shouldn’t have displayed that characters like Tenya and Shoto are able to develop overtime at faster rates than Katsuki can, and as much as I can keep playing the society card, Katsuki wasn’t the only one bombarded with high expectations. Shoto, Tenya, Momo, and potentially Mina all come from backgrounds wherein high expectations were expected of them; Shoto grew up in a confirmed abusive household for crying out loud, and we’ve seen him trying to grow past his issues.

Katsuki has yet to demonstrate anything similar. After Deku vs Kacchan 2, he’s still yelling Izuku’s ears off, or throwing his mask like a ninja star because comedy, or trying to fight a big time villain again because he still actually hasn’t learned to take a loss. Maybe it’s because he internalized most of his self-hatred and projected it onto Izuku so long, but I really can’t say for certain. The change doesn’t have to be night and day, but it can certainly be more substantial than what we’re getting now, and that alone disappoints me. And I’m sorry to say it, but the wait for Katsuki to finally grow beyond his excessive asshole tendencies and graduate to decent asshole is draining on me, and no longer a big contributor to me keeping up with the story (Izuku is a big contributor to that, because I’m basic).

Changing each other probably wouldn’t be advised, but their dynamic and their issues with and independent of one another should still be addressed. I have a big issue with “win to save, save to win” because of this, actually. Katsuki has to give a s*** about people, sure, but Izuku doesn’t need to focus more on winning when he already wins enough as is. It’s a false equivalence that further justifies the worst parts of Katsuki. That obsession with winning, with never falling behind in the eyes of society, only further fuels his need to put others down and push his physical capabilities to the maximum while he puts his emotional spectrum on the backburner. And the “friendship” he has with Izuku isn’t gonna change that, because again, Katsuki’s primary concern is surpassing One for All, surpassing Izuku as the Chosen One. He has yet to display any major concern for Izuku beyond the extent of his Quirk usage in the main series. The closest thing we’ve gotten was a look of shock on his face during Heroes: Rising, and this was in response to Izuku suggesting that he pass One for All.

On that note, Izuku cares about Katsuki, as a person, as a rival, and as a friend, and he has displayed this time and time again. Katsuki has only shown care for Izuku as an obstacle, as a challenge he must overcome and one he wants to overcome without hindrance. He has yet to show any semblance of care for Izuku beyond that with meaningful context, believe it or not. And quite frankly, I’m getting sick of people wanting to bring Katsuki on board just because Izuku is giving him the benefit of the doubt when he arguably hasn’t done anything proper to earn any of Izuku’s trust. I know Izuku’s not weak, I know he’s sound of mind, but Katsuki is not a rational subject for Izuku. He has known this boy since childhood, he has seen what he is capable of, and his optimism keeps him in a favorable light. That is incredibly noble of Izuku, and I commend him for it, but I cannot stand by the decision when Katsuki’s attitude towards Izuku and his actual contributions to Izuku’s journey don’t show anything direct or substantially reflective on Katsuki’s end.

...but that’s just me. The hell do I know anyway?

And if you actually bothered to read this word vomit… thanks.

-Crimson Lion (18 August 2020)

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tinystarwatch · 4 years

Text

You’ve got a friend in me (Literally!)(Otherwise known as “oh no I’ve really done it”)

Bad Grammar Warning: Just the worst

After a long day of travel, a cowboy rests under the infinite sky, and unbeknownst to him, becomes a little less lonesome.

As you anxiously watch for any sign of movement, his lips part and plume of breath strikes the cloudless sky. Even for a bean such as himself, it was a frigid night. Which was why you were getting close to this titan in the first place. Ordinarily, a borrower being caught in the open with a human meant death or worse, but through a series of tremendously unfortunate events, you were presented with a choice. Adapt or die. And so, in a bid for the warmth of his fire, you found yourself nearly at the spurred boats of this massive stranger. Now that you were closer you could make out his face, dirty, stubbly and struck reverent with awe. You turn your eyes to the stars as well, while they were familiar to you, they seemed fresh to this weary traveler. Had you ever spoken your next thought to another borrower, you would have been deemed mad. Perhaps, the heavens made him feel small as well, and in that there was comradery.

Someplace in the background, the stranger’s horse grunts, pulling you back to earth. You are caught in a different type of expanse, the stranger’s fire-filled eyes locked with yours. Both of you become stock still as his mouth flounders several moments, settling on a reaction.

“Howdy?” He murmurs just over the crackle of the fire. You take one shaky backward, then another. Having weighed the options, freezing to death sounded downright pleasant compared to what a human could do to you. The quite shock is broken as the cowboy bursts into a flurry of moment, fumbling with something at his side. “Wait, L-! Ahg blast” He grumbles before producing a gun from his hip. The sheer terror of that single movement drains the last of your body heat straight into the earth, and you bolt. Dust kicks up behind you with a loud thunk, and the stranger calls after you. “ Look, I don’t mean you no harm! Kid!?”. Against your better judgment, you look back. The stranger is sat precisely where you left him, the gun settled into the dirt between the two of you. It surprises you just enough to slow your flee, you turn to face him again.

From this angle, the fire no longer reflected in his eyes, you could perceive concern shrouding the massive blue pools. His mouth twitches into a nervous smile “ That’s it. More than enough fire to share, yeah? Why don’t you sidle back on over, and we’ll get antiquated ?” Again you put your survival instinct aside and consider the stranger’s request. If you run now, you would, without a doubt, die. But if you stayed, there was a slim chance the cowboy held to his word. You needed that fire more than anything right now if you end up roasted over it, so be it.

The stranger’s shoulders slumped in relief as you approached. Once you had settled next to the fire, he slid off the rock he’d been sitting on and removed the dusty wide brim from his head. The attempt to put you on even playing ground was laughable, as he still towered over you, but endearing nonetheless. The adrenaline wearing off left you colder and stiffer than before, all you could do was look up warily and wait for him to snap. “Dalton,” The stranger scratched the back of his head out of habit, “ Dalton Pracht. Good meeting you?” In the following silence, you duck your head shamefully and loosely felt the scar on your throat, one you’re sure Dalton couldn’t see. To your astonishment, he makes a sound of recognition and grins broadly, “ Ain’t no thing little partner! Sides, I can yammer enough for the both of us.” You can’t help but smile at that, finding the courage to meet the human’s eyes once more.

The moment is glazed bittersweet by your violent shaking. Dalton seems to catch on as well, and his unruly brows furrow in concern. He reaches toward you then pauses, thinking better of it, “Say, you ain’t looking too slick. Mind if I?” and lays his hand flat on the ground, inches from your bedraggled form. You eye his callused fingertips cautiously. At this point, what did you have to lose? If he was going to pull something he would have already, indulging in shared body heat for a moment, might be helpful. With sore limbs, you drag yourself up into his ruff palm. Dalton semi curls his fingers about you as he lifts you to face level. You recoil sightly when his other hand hovers up, laying a tentative finger over your forehead. “ Christ, yer cold as the dead, little partner.” He clicks his tongue and fusses over you in an almost scolding manner, “Should’ve come to me sooner, no sense in a purdy little thing like you being six feet under!” Had there been any warmth in your body, it would have gathered in your cheeks. As circumstances were, you had to be satisfied with huffing indignantly and pushing away the finger against your head.

“Alright, alright” He chuckles, whiskey tanged breath washing over you. Dalton’s eyes flickered around apprehensively before locking with yours again. “Listen, I got an idea, but you ain’t gonna like it.” You tilt your head in the universal sign of confusion, and Dalton sighs, “We might need to get a little more… Cozy.” In the corner of you’re vision, Dalton’s hand trails down his chest and rests near his torso, thumb dug just barley beneath his shirt. Suddenly you understand why he thought you wouldn’t like this plan. He was right.

You immediately start to thrash, but Dalton is quicker and grips you, leaving scarce room to argue. “Now hold up, nobody said anything about eatn! It’ll be like a real good hug!” The warmth of his voice doesn’t convince you in the slightest, and you shake your head furiously. Dalton looks pointedly away from you and flushes, “It ain’t like I’ve got a hankering for small and human! I’m trying to help you out. Otherwise, you’ll be iced, and I just can’t set with that!” His voice is kind but determined, and you get the idea that if you wait much longer, you’ll lose a say in the matter. You have to remind yourself that if he wanted to harm you, he could have at any time, but he hadn’t.

So you catch his gaze again with a reluctant nod. You both let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding as the grip around you deforms into a loose cup. It seems like grappling your frigid body had been just as uncomfortable for Dalton as it has been for you.

“I’ll be real easy on yeh, just let me know when you’re ready?” He quips, gingerly ensuing with, “You’re safe with, er- in me, promise.” The side of Dalton’s cupped hand comes to rest against his chin, leaving you in eye line with his chapped lips. In fact, now the only thing within your range of view is him, his face is your entire horizon. You couldn’t even feel the wind anymore over his warm breath rolling over you.

Tentatively you crawl forward, but stop when you see his lips twitch. You glance up and find Dalton pretty much looking down his nose to see what you were up to. Already high on nerves, the sight almost made you laugh. Dalton must have known because his eyes crinkled and a smile threatened to take over his mouth. With some of the tension alleviated, you found the strength to focus on the task at hand. You bring one hand up to touch his lips, catching Dalton’s stubble in the process, causing you to jump and him to chuckle. The sound rumbles through your entire body, and this time a laugh is startled out of you. The remaining tension shattered after that. Somehow, you felt safer pressed against this giant than you had in weeks. If only your piers could hear you now…

You pat Dalton’s lower lip and on queue his jaw shifts. You fall forward a little, having to catch yourself on his tongue as it prods into you. He lets you struggle against the slick of his tongue for a minute, eventually relenting by tipping you into his maw. In the last moments of light, you catch Dalton’s teeth glinting perilously, then the wet muscle fully scoops you into his mouth, and you are left in total darkness. The occurrence of being in a mouth wasn’t as wholly unpleasant as you had imagined. Sure, the air was stale with drink, but you couldn’t deny the warmth seeping into your bones, saliva soaked you may be.

Dalton hums low in his throat while his tongue curls and pushes against your form. At first, you’d wrestled to keep it out of your face, but your strained muscles didn’t abide by that for long. After several minutes of being gently suckled on, Dalton pressed you to his palette and ventured to speak around you. “Down youh goh.”, He mumbles with some difficultly and leans back, swallowing thickly. The strong muscles of his throat catch you up to your waist, another hard swallow has your slimy form easily secured in his gullet. You can’t help but squirm at the tight hold of the surrounding muscles, but when Dalton gives a surprised grunt, you quickly stop in fear of hurting him. As you’re squished down, the human’s heartbeat becomes louder against a backdrop of unidentifiable body noises and the gurgle of his stomach somewhere below.

Finally, you are deposited into the roomier chamber of Dalton’s stomach, the organ welcomes your presence, cradling around you as you moved. Far above Dalton sighs in content, and pats his overfull stomach twice “Wasn’t so bad when you stopped you’re bellyaching, now was it?”. The hand returned, rubbed over his belly until he found you and pressed into you gently. “You’re all good in there right, little partner? Cozy?” You let him know as best you could, leaning against the wall to meet his hand and tapping repeatedly. Dalton barked a laugh that shook your whole world and continued rubbing his stomach, and by extension, you. “If you haven’t got me fuller than any four-course meal. Which reminds me! I reckon you’ll be wantin to head where I’m heading, well we’re, counting the horse. Seeing as-”

Turns out Dalton had not been joking when he’d said he could talk for the two of you. Chances were he hadn’t had a companion to chat with, in about as long as you had. You really did try to stay alert and listen, but the weeks of barely getting by had caught up to you. The gentle churn of Dalton’s stomach and his distant voice rambling on lulled you into a dreamless sleep. For the first time in a long time, you were cared for and safe.

________________________________________________________________

Noooo don’t read a list of old west slang you’re so sexy aha

In all seriousness I am embarrassed and completely terrified to be posting this here,

But I said there would be silly cowboy vore and BY GOD If I don’t deliver!

#soft vore #safe vore #g/t vore #cowboy vore #reader insert vore #vore writing #vore fic #extreme cuddling #i've really done it this time #preycore #this is self indulgent as hell #I started as a joke but It's really spiraled #Fear #starwatch #starwatchvorethoughts #starwatchcowboythoughts #because why not

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jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear · 4 years

Text

Jonathan Crane Angst Alphabet

A- Accident, Would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?

Crane would feel guilty, especially if he had clown close to his partner. If they died of a toxin overdose, or thanks to the Dark Knight’s brute force, he would feel at fault. He may even go on a rampage to quell his anger, trying to fight batman or just spreading fear in some vain hopes that it brings his partner back to him.

B- Break up, How would they deal with one?

It depends on how close he is with said partner. After a week? He wouldn’t feel much sting, but if he had gotten close and exposed himself to them, then it would really hurt. He does not handle rejection well and may even attack his ex-partner with fear toxin.

C-Crying, Are they much of a crier?

Jonathan doesn’t cry very often, but yes he has cried before. He cried when Great Granny locked him in the chapel, he cried when Sherry cruelly tricked him, he cried the day he lost his job at Gotham University. He keeps it in check most of the time, usually burying those feelings until the explode. And when they do? He cries himself to sleep.

D-Death, How do they deal with any death?

He knows death is inevitable, and he’s prepared for it. he doesn’t have a will or any plans for a funeral, he just hope he’ll be buried somewhere where no body will find him. Not that anyone would visit him any way. Death of others is different though, he didn’t care about murdering his family...but he would care of say, someone like Harley died. He’d feel sorrow that day.

E-Emotion, What’s the emotion they tend to push away the most?

Happiness. He doesn’t believe he can be truly happy, and even though he experiences joy within his passions, it’s an ever fleeting emotion that never stays it’s welcome. He’s suffered most of his life, and to him...that’s normal. It’s normal to live life without so much a a smile. And that’s what hurts him.

F-Frustrated, How much would it take to push them off the edge?

It depends on what it is. Making fun of him or attacking his appearance is NOT a good idea. He can’t stand bullies and will attack you with fear toxin if you provoke him. Otherwise, he has quite a lot of patience for tom foolery.

G-Great Pain, What is the most painful thing they have witnessed?

That would be his childhood trauma, being locked in the aviary and forced to deal with hungry crows. No amount of punches from the Dark Knight could ever compare to an innocent child suffering alone and afraid.

H-Humiliation, How could they be humiliated?

By being bullied, even though he has thick skin as an adult, the same could not be said for his teenage years. He despises being made fun of, it hurts him deep down and he can’t control his tears. Even in the comics he’s ran away from bullies with his eyes red and swollen from crying. One time he was pantsed in front of his crush, Sherry Squires. It really embarrassed him, and from that point on he trusted no one. (this didn’t happen in the comics, I just came up with it(

I-Injured, How do they handle themselves when injured?

He hides his pain, and cringes though it all. He does not want to look weak, and being vulnerable during this time makes him feel that way. Even so, he has a very high pain tolerance thanks to aforementioned childhood trauma, so most attacks don’t harm in heavily.

J-Jittery, Which part of their past makes them flinch or even worked up?

Everything about his childhood. He hides it well, but if you dig deep enough he’ll break down and cry. (this is to say, only a few people have cracked him) He hated his great granny, so bringing her up brings out anger and scorn. He wishes he could have killed her a second time.

K-Kill, Would they kill for revenge?

Hell yes, and he actually has in the comics. He’s killed both his great grandmother and grandmother, and he TRIED to kill is father and mother. If batman had not intervened, he would have succeeded.

L- Loss, What was their greatest loss?

His childhood. He laments the fact that he never had a normal childhood. He lost out on so many milestones and had to grow up much quicker than your average kid. He didn’t have a best friend. He never got to swim in the lake. He didn’t get Christmas presents, and every day he suffered.

M- Mistakes, How much do they want to fix the mistakes of their past?

He doesn’t consider many of the choices in his life a mistake. The only exception is when he pulled out a gun in the classroom. Even though he KNEW he was in the right, and he KNEW it was a good experiment, other did not agree and that was his downfall. He really misses teaching. If he could do it over, he would. Anything for a chance to teach again.

N-Need, How would they react if you needed emergency surgery?

He would worry, because for one thing, he does not have the money for that. And besides, who would operate on a criminal? He may just accept his fate and suffer until his last breath. Besides, fate will get him sooner or later.

O-Outrage, What makes them angry?

Betrayal, anytime someone breaks his trust he gets extremely aggravated. Trust is something that he does not hand out lightly, so being back stabbed really hurts him. He can’t stand those who hurt him. He’s been hurt enough as is.

P-Pressure, What stresses them out to the breaking point?

When his toxin isn’t strong enough, he’s constantly honing his craft and yet the secrets of the chemicals elude him. What and when will he create a toxin strong enough to dismantle the bat. He is extremely smart, that’s a fact. yet still there is much more to learn. His is the only man in his field after all. No body but him can create fear toxin. He has nobody to rely on.

Q- Qualify, What part of themselves do they see as dangerous?

His lust for revenge. That’s the dangerous part. He will not give up until his anger is quelled. All who make him suffer must in turn suffer. That is what makes him scary. He never forgives.

R-Rock, What weighs them down?

The past. He can’t let go of it no matter how hard he tries. He buries it deep down and hides his pain from everyone, the friends, the doctors, you name it. He needs help to conquer this pain, but that he will never admit to.

S-Sorrow, Would they feel empty after the death of a loved one?

He would feel empty inside, this is someone he finally, after all those years of solitude, grew close to. He trusted him, and yes, he loved them. He would feel like his heart has been ripped apart, a hole exists now and nothing can fill it. Not toxin, not batman, not anything.

T-Time, What if they had a limited time to live?

He would make the most of it. Crane would likely spend the last of his hours fighting batman and spreading fear as that’s what brings him the most joy. Maybe he’d settle down and read a book for the last hours of his life, but more likely he’ll die fighting.

U-Urge, How badly do they get the urge to see you after separating?

It depends on how long him and his partner have been apart. He is fine with being alone, and may not miss them at the time but given more than a few weeks he would change his tune. If they were sent to Arkham, the there’s no doubt they would be broken out by the Scarecrow

V-Vent, How do they get rid of feelings they find unnecessary?

He doesn’t he rarely vents, most of the time he bottles it up until it explodes. And that is not a pretty sight, he gets really angry and his southern accent comes out in full force. Beware the wrath of the Scarecrow.

W-Wild card, A random angst headcanon.

He does not do well on his birthday. he actually wants to forget the date entirely and treat it as any other day. He was severely punished on his birthday, and those memories have not faded with time. DO not, I repeat, do not celebrate his birthday. He hates that date. (However, this may change depending on his partner and how long they have been together)

X- X-ray, What makes them transparent? How obvious can they get around something they hate?

He’s very good at hiding his true nature, so he doesn’t get angry until necessary. However, he has a bit of a grinchy side and will snear and make faces at what angers him. In that one way, he can be very transparent.

Y-Yearning, Do old memories make them yearn for your touch?

Yes, he still wishes he could’ve kissed sherry, despite the fact that she betrayed him. If that tells you anything, it should tell you that old memories bring up longing feelings. Old memories can hit him heard.

Z- Zoophobia, Is there any animal/bug/creature that scares them?

Bats He’s terrified of bats because they bring forth images of the Dark Knight. He would never admit to having this fear, but bats keep him up at night. He can’t stand these creatures. That’s why he keeps crows around, they keep the bats at bay, in more than one way.

#Jonathan Crane #Scarecrow #The Scarecrow #Angst Alphabet #Mistress' Headcanons #Mistress' Headcannons #Text Posts #I can go more in depth with any of these if you guys would like #I was afraid of writing too much #so I kept responses kinda short

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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 4 years

Note

I've been listening to THATW on your recommendation & loving it. Battle Cries keeps getting stuck in my head and I was curious about your take on the lyrics. To me, especially coming at the end of the album, it seems like maybe it's about growing apart & realising that's for the best rather than being sad ("this isn't a breakup dear heart, it's a season finale") or maybe the singers are at the end of their lives & facing that end to their relationship? I'd love to hear your thoughts/analysis.

Me: GUYS I’M DOING ANOTHER TAD SONG ANALYSIS

My Friends: You have the backbone of a chocolate éclair.

Please keep in mind as I go down this rabbit hole conduct this analysis that art is what you interpret it to be. So whatever it means to you is a valid interpretation, and this is just my own take on it. Here is my ranting analysis of Farewell Wanderlust, for those of you who are wondering why this lovely person is trusting me, a certified feral bastard, with literary discussion.

That dealt with, that’s tackle the three layers of analysis here. Yes, I said three. Buckle up buttercups.

(Listen if a joke is funny the first time it’s funny every time.)

Okay, so level one: analysis separate from any other piece of work. This is where you look at the art (in this case song lyrics) and examine it purely on its own merit, not by looking at background or connection to other texts. If we just look at the lyrics, what do they say and what do they mean?

PART THE FIRST

Unlike Marbles, which tells us a very easy-to-follow story of a relationship, even giving us a handy-dandy year of meeting (I’ve held your hand since 1979), Battle Cries doesn’t give us solid details to fix on. We have to fill in the blanks a lot, which is obviously deliberate given that Marbles and Little Miss Why So (from their previous album Love Run) have shown us that the band knows how to be specific and grounding in telling us a story. If they’ve left things abstract, it’s on purpose.

From the very first lyric, we’re shown two people at odds, as they sing wildly different words:

“I’m at the brink, don’t laugh,

at the winks I’ve masked.”

vs.

“The wrinkles and bricks that we’re left with at last,”

They’re even singing at a different pace from one another. The man is more upbeat, faster, and his notes go up and down. The woman is slower, more deliberate, and her notes are closer together. This pattern continues through the song - the man is all over the scale and moves faster, the woman is slower and her voice stays even.

The central conflict here seems to be over the singers differing on what they feel is important, culminating in, “we were gods” vs “we were kids.” We have references to specific events where the signers acknowledge that they understand one another, even if they don’t agree:

“You’ve a knack For applause from the back of the stalls but you lack The conviction to look at me straight and say yes”

“Some fictions we took to mean fate believe me I know”

and

“Tell the truth to me love, does my hair look as nice As it did when you once tied it up in your eyes? Look at me as you say this, don’t look at your phone.”

There are continued references to things that they’ve done, such as “but we sunk into water...” and “our devils broke ranks, and out of the depths came an army.” They’ve been through a lot together, these two people, and most of it is metaphorical, you assume... but there’s also the theme of playing pretend, making believe, with repeated references to devils, kings, monsters, pirates, and all the rest. The line between fiction and reality is blurred strongly here, as we’ve seen in their other songs like That Unwanted Animal.

The woman appears to be a performer, since the man sings that she “dragged us along to watch all of your shows.” The man could be a performer, but he refused: “and by God, love, believe me, I wanted to play, too, I did.”

The lyrics the woman sings imply that she throws herself into things wholeheartedly while the man holds himself back - which has become a problem, given the lyrics they’re singing at each other. This is ironic because the woman’s lyrics might imply that, but her voice is the more deliberate and grounded one, while the man, the one singing the lyrics that imply holding himself back, is the one with his voice jumping all over the place.

The woman embraces her power and lack of restraint and proclaims we were gods. The man acknowledges that they were young and lost and didn’t know what they were doing, reminding her we were kids.

And both of them are right.

They’re also both constantly trying to counsel each other. A good moment that highlights their differing views is here:

Done with your dreams, they won’t last Thirty winters will pass, you’ll look back at the woman fifty year old you will be proud to have known.

Cos that sun that beams down as my hands touch the grass After summers of fasting I feel hunger at last For the person fifteen year old me would be proud to have known.

One of them is putting aside dreams, and looking towards the future and saying, I want to be someone that future me is proud of.

The other, however, is focusing on how they feel in the present moment, on how they feel alive (this lyric of feeling hunger at last is also possibly a callback to Wild Blue Yonder’s “tried my best to get thinner” and Farewell Wanderlust’s “when your mom says ‘you look healthy’ but you know she means you got fat”) and saying, I want to be someone my teenage self would admire.

This also highlights how the woman seems detached from reality. She’s all about make-believe, dreams, the future. The man is more focused on the here and now, the past, what was and what is. And again, neither person is wrong here. But their differences are bringing them into conflict as seen from different lyrics and rhythms.

But there is, however, a lack of goodbye. The lyrics show an understanding of one another, and there are moments where they share the same lyrics. The line, “this isn’t a break up, dear heart, it’s a season finale” is very telling because it’s a season finale.

Season vs. series, real quick - series means the entire end of a show. Not coming back. It’s the final ending. But season? That just means it’s time for a break. We’ll be back. It’s a conclusion of an arc but not the conclusion of a story.

So the couple isn’t saying goodbye forever. They’re just saying this is the end of one arc. One part of the story. And now we’re taking a pause, and then we’re going to tell the rest, be the rest, presumably together. Especially because just previous to this the woman said she’s not leaving without a fight, and the man said he’s not going to let her turn their last night into this. They’re not going to be gone from each other forever.

In fact, one could (if one was so inclined) call this one of the fights that the couple from Marbles had. Both songs have a very similar feel to them. So you could very well view it that way. This isn’t a look at the story of an entire relationship, this is a look at one specific part of it. And again, this isn’t a painful breakup song. We see that in the chorus:

But that breathing you hear don't mistake it for sighs, Don’t you realize - They’re just battle cries, dear. And these lines aren’t wrinkles, dear heart. (Hardly knew the words) They’re just dollops of paint on a new work of art! (I’m dolled up love don’t I deserve to just) And as I walk away I know, I’ve been through the wars, But that creaking you hear in my bones is not pain, it’s applause.

There’s no pain. There’s no sighing. No screams. Not wrinkles for age. There’s an embracing of it all, a joy found in things that might otherwise cause sadness. It’s saying don’t worry, this is all good. But there’s nothing about goodbye, it’s more “look at what I’ve been through and I’m glad of it, I’m okay with it.”

I also think it’s telling that the song ends with just one singer performing.

All it took to unearth in the dust and the dirt Some release or respite from the heat and the hurt Was taking the time now and then to ask how I am And now at the end, at the end of all things, I’m not going to scream, beat my chest at the wind, I’m doing fine.

That’s a callback to The Rockrose and the Thistle, both lyrically and in how the singer’s performing it (his voice is almost exactly the same, quick, someone compare the musical notes for me).

Basically, yes, there is a sense of something ending, but it’s not The End. The end of university was not the end of your life. The end of childhood was not an end to your life. And so on. It feels more like the end of a phase - both in this couple’s relationship (but again, season finale, I don’t think it’s the end of their relationship completely) - and in their lives. They’re phasing out of a certain stage. But the lyrics say explicitly “this isn’t a breakup” and we need to trust that.

I think, looking at these lyrics, that Battle Cries is about facing the end of a certain period of your life, whatever that period is, and embracing both the frustrating and the wonderful about it, and looking at both your own flaws and the flaws of your partner, and maybe needing to take a break - but knowing that it’s not the end, and that you’re going to be okay. It’s about self-reflection as well as reflecting on a relationship. It’s taking a small step back and observing yourself from a slight distance. Getting philosophical with a bottle of wine.

Basically this feels like the end of act two, not the end of the entire play. Does that make sense? Am I making sense to anyone?

However, that is just the FIRST LAYER of analysis. There are two more. Because just one layer of meaning would be too simple, apparently, for a certain British bastard. Not naming names here, mostly because I don’t need to, we all know what life-ruining motherfucker I’m referring to.

So, the second level here is not Battle Cries as a song on its own, but Battle Cries as the final song on an album.

PART THE SECOND

The Amazing Devil did this with their previous album, Love Run, as well. They’re fond of using the first song as an introduction that lulls you into a false sense of security and using the final song as not just a culmination of all the other songs on the album but as a callback. Not Yet/Love Run on the same-titled album contains direct lyrics from the previous songs embedded into the background, and also serves as an emotional crescendo of all that the previous songs in the album were touching on (mainly depression, romantic relationships, and ‘what the fuck am I supposed to do now’).

With Battle Cries, we get the same thing.

First and easiest is double lyrics that sometimes conflict. We saw this in Wild Blue Yonder most predominantly, where the man was being the more dramatic of the two and the woman was kind of talking him down and being more pragmatic. Even though there’s not as much conflict in their lyrics as in Pruning Shears from Love Run, that conflict is still there - and is done, again, in Battle Cries.

There are also smaller, more specific lyrical callbacks:

“And these plates they smash like waves” = That Unwanted Animal (and these plates they smash like waves/throw the plate at the wall)

“And the wine stains hide the tears” = Farewell Wanderlust (but like rubbing wine stains into rugs it’s my curse, to try and make it right, but by trying make it worse)

“The wrinkles and bricks we’re left with at last” - Marbles (your eyes aren’t rivers there to weep but a place for crows to rest their feet) and Wild Blue Yonder (every brick you hurled I’ll use to build)

“But that creaking you hear in my bones is not pain, it’s applause” = That Unwanted Animal (and if we join our hands in prayer enough to God I imagine it all starts to sound like applause)

Aside from these direct lyrical callbacks, there’s the emotional tone.

In the very first song on the album, The Rockrose and the Thistle, we have the theme of helping someone - someone who might not necessarily be good at accepting your help. The lyrics, however brief, give the impression of night (when you call to me asleep) and a foreboding seaside (up the ragged cliffs I scramble).

In Battle Cries, we once again get lyrics that give us the impression of the seaside, through allusions to pirates (more on that in the third section). But instead of nighttime, and danger, the lyrics give us the impression of light and warmth:

“Now the wind is so warm on the back of my neck As I walk with the sun hand in hand from the wreck”

Wreck, again, suggests a shipwreck (most other acts of destruction we call crashes i.e. car crash, ‘wreck’ is almost exclusively used for ships) which suggests the ocean. But in TR&TT all is dark and uncertain, and it’s told from the point of view of the helper, who is trying to assist someone who’s struggling. In Battle Cries, we go from darkness to light, and it’s the point of view of the person being helped, saying that all they needed to feel better was having someone take “the time now and then to ask how I am.” We’ve gone full circle.

That final bit could also be a callback to Welly Boots, where the singer talks of someone “screaming far too loud to hear me swear” and running out into an impending thunderstorm. In Battle Cries, the line is,

“I’m not gonna scream, beat my chest at the wind. I’m doing fine.”

Again, a POV shift from a previous song to no longer be the person sung about, but the person doing the singing, and no longer in a position of distress, but a position of acceptance and moving forward.

Also if someone who like actually can talk about music as opposed to just lyrics could help me the fuck out here I know there are musical similarities between The Horror and the Wild and Battle Cries, and I’m pretty sure between Marbles and Battle Cries too, but I still can’t fucking read music and once described a note in a song to a friend as, “it sounds too Idina Menzel and you need to make it sound more Florence Welch” and so I am not the person to be discussing this but I FUCKIN’ KNOW THE SIMILARITIES ARE THERE I CAN FEEL IT I JUST DON’T HAVE THE ABILITY TO ARTICULATE IT.

Anyway.

So, Battle Cries is not only a standalone work but a culmination of the emotional journey that the album has taken you on. You’ve moved through songs about needing help and being unable to receive it/seeing someone you love needing help and being unable to give it (TR&TT, Welly Boots), songs about hiding from your demons and having a fun time being in a sexual relationship with someone you have to say goodbye to and move on from and while we’re at it let’s say “fuck it” (Wild Blue Yonder), to screaming about our failures and how people have failed us (Farewell Wanderlust, Welly Boots), to more sex and oh let’s throw spirituality and God in there (That Unwanted Animal), going full-on feral and taking on all comers (THATW) and then finding joy and the profound in the little moments with those we love without censorship or rose-colored glasses (Fair, Marbles).

Battle Cries is bittersweet not only because of its standalone lyrics but because it is embracing the bitter, wild fury of certain songs in the album and the sweet, soft love of the other songs. It’s combining them. And then, in its final moments, it’s taking a deep breath and releasing it all: “I’m doing fine.”

The band clearly chooses, with extreme care, the order in which their songs are to be played. While certain songs like Wild Blue Yonder and Pruning Shears could very well be the kind of songs you hear on the radio, and all the songs are good as standalones, there is an extra layer of emotional depth when you listen to them in the order the band intended. The number one thing people tell me when they listen to TAD for the first time is, “I get a musical feel. It reminds me of a particular kind of musical.” I’ve gotten a lot of comparisons to Hadestown, which, fun fact, started not as a musical but as a concept album in 2010. And I think that’s because people are picking up on the fact that the entire album is a journey that the listener is carefully being led on, and the final song draws it all together in a bittersweet, triumphant end note.

Not Yet/Love Run at the end of their last album did the same thing, which brings me to my final level of analysis: Battle Cries as the spiritual successor of Not Yet/Love Run.

PART THE THIRD

The first and most obvious comparison is the lyrics. In Not Yet, we have a theme of fighting an enemy and playing make-believe, being pirates:

“Sing me awake with a song about pirates,” “you point I’ll steer and we’ll rip up the map by the seems,” “it’s time to fight don’t be yellow bellied, hold the bar at Hurley's hurly burly's give ‘em hell give ‘em hell.”

In Battle Cries we have much the same thing:

“‘Come at me you blaggards’, you’d yell from the banks Wielding words against make-believe wizards and tanks”

There is a lyrical theme of pirate-speak and make believe, playing games. (In fact the next line in Battle Cries is “and by God, love, believe me, I wanted to play, too, I did,” referencing both playing make-believe and playing music.)

Not Yet and Battle Cries both blur the line between what is real and what is pretend, with the woman singer being much more willing to throw herself into imagination and the man being more cautious, more realistic. Both feature the woman in a fighting mood (“where is God, ma?”/“I won’t leave without a fight”) and the man more grounded and accepting (“I held your hand as you shook in the middle of the night”/“I’m not gonna scream, beat my chest at the wind”).

And both times, in both songs, both singers have a point. Neither one is fully right or wrong. That fighting spirit in the woman in good, but so is the acceptance and grounded attitude of the man.

Both Not Yet and Battle Cries also have the lyrical dance, where the man and woman sing different lyrics that overlap, and then occasionally come together and sing the same thing. It’s moments of understanding in between moments of disparity, which, really, isn’t that what every relationship is like? You’re never going to be in sync with your lover, friend, family member, all the time. But when you do come together, it’s fantastic.

Not Yet/Love Run is basically two songs in one, and so the Love Run portion is separate from the Not Yet portion in my analysis. Love Run is about fighting, but not fighting to get away from something, not fighting out of anger, but running towards something and fighting for love. There is, in Love Run, an acceptance that things can be shit, but we’re gonna keep running anyway:

“It’s not from what we run that drums, but what’s to come,” “run to show that love’s worth running to,” “though some would harm you, none, not one, no none, would raise to you, a hand nor thumb, not while by you I stand and hum.”

In Battle Cries, we get a similar acceptance and a reaffirmation that love, care, and compassion are what keeps us going:

“And as I walk away I know I’ve been through the wars, But that creaking you hear in my bones is not pain, it’s applause,”

“All it took to unearth in the dust and the dirt, Some release or respite from the heat and the hurt, Was taking the time now and then to ask how I am.”

Both Love Run and Battle Cries take the lyrics of their previous songs in the album and rework them, echo them, and then stand tall and say, “but it’s going to be okay, dear heart.” And Battle Cries emotionally and lyrically deliberately echoes Not Yet earlier on in its lyrics, and then emotionally (though not quite as lyrically) deliberately echoes Love Run at its end.

I could keep going on the details of this but this is fuckin’ long enough already and you all are smart people with an insane amount of time on your hands thanks to quarantine so I’m sure you guys can extrapolate further from here. Battle Cries plays the same role in THATW that Not Yet/Love Run plays in LR, therefore, there is a thematic and emotional similarity between both songs, therefore, lyrical comparisons and callbacks to Not Yet/Love Run were placed in Battle Cries.

IN CONCLUSION

This song is operating on three levels. It’s operating as a standalone piece of work, it’s operating as the culmination of a collection of work, and it’s operating as a successor/callback to the final piece in a previous collection of work by the same artists.

You’re going to find themes in the work of every artist, conscious and unconscious. I can tell you right now that my original novels have a strong theme of dreaming - dreams as power, dreams as prophecy, dreams as manifestation of our fears and our subconscious, dreams as escapism. It’s a theme I at first did subconsciously and now, as a writer with a better sense of self-awareness, one that I utilize consciously.

Good artists recognize their personal themes and turn them into leitmotifs. They harness what they’re already subconsciously expressing and wield it as a tool. It takes a very skilled artist to take those themes and use them the way TAD does with all of their work but especially with Battle Cries. There is a deliberate awareness of what they’re doing and the words they’re wielding. Battle Cries is an ending that knows it’s an ending in the best kind of way, one that says not all endings are bad, here, let us show you.

And that’s what makes it so brilliant.

#mads answers things #the amazing devil #I don't think I really did this analysis justice #I'm not sure I got as specific with the lyrics as I could have #but this was long enough already #and my mental energy is at zero #so let me just dump it into the world #I'm sure others will be able to build on the foundation I presented #greenestcoat

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smilingspinel · 5 years

Note

even mORE SOULMATE AUS for spinel x reader >:3 how about the soulmate au where theres a black spot where you first make physical contact with your soulmate and when they touch it, it becomes a patch of womderful colors~

SURPRISE!

I was so inspired by this particular imagines prompt that I ended up breaking my own mold and writing a 2.8k fic for it instead.

It was a lot of fun to write this out, so I hope that you enjoy it!

You were born with your spot on the back of your hand.

It didn’t come as a surprise to you, or your parents, or any of your friends, really. Everyone had them somewhere, and the back of a hand was considered one of the most common parts of the body to have them appear.

It’s your soulmark, and its location determines the first spot your soulmate will ever come in contact with. When you were a young kid in elementary school, all you could think about was who it could be. You would chase the kids around at recess, waving it in their face, taunting them to touch it. It was a game, and only the bravest of the few would actually comply, but nothing would ever happen. You all would break into giggles, knowing very well the result would never change, and joked it would not work by coincidence, that nothing happened because the wrong person touched it, or that they did not touch in the exact center of the black spot.

That’s all it was to you, as a kid. It was a game, because the idea of a soulmate sounded more like a fantasy from the fairy tales the teachers would read at story time. But as time passed and your friends and classmates got older, you felt like you were the only one who still wanted to play the game, who saw the spot as just the source of a fantasy game you play at recess. Some of your classmates were finding their soulmates as early as the sixth or seventh grade. You wouldn’t have believed it had you not seen a few of them go down yourself. You suppose it isn’t that odd, since you always hear stories at weddings about how the couple met when they were small children.

Which…wouldn’t bother you, except middle school came and went, and so did high school, and while everyone around you was walking around with colorful displays of love splashed all over their bodies, you still had your black little spot on the back of your hand. It’s not like you’d given up on dating, it’s just that you’d begun to shy away from letting your partners see the spot on your hand, because you were always so afraid of heartbreak, that you would believe you’d found the one only to find out you were meant to break up, that you never thought it was worth the trouble.

“It’s just…” you sigh, bringing your wrist to your forehead as you lie down against the grassy hill against the crystal temple. “It doesn’t feel right, you know? Waiting your whole life for one person to come find you? When you’re not even sure that they’re coming at all?”

Beside you in the grass, Steven laughs. ”Y’know, [y/n], you really remind me of someone else I know. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were meant for each other”

You raise an eyebrow at him in question, which makes him laugh.

“No no, I’m serious! I think you’d really like her”

You blink. “You do?”

“Yeah! I think you two would really hit it off, if you know what I mean”, he says, and nudges your shoulder. You can feel a blush forming on your face, and Steven must be able to see it forming on your face, because before you can make any form of a protest he’s already standing to his feet.

“Wait right here,” he says, like you have any other option but to comply, and between one blink and the next he’s already sprinting off. You watch him go until he’s just out of your sight, and once he’s gone you roll over onto your stomach to observe some of the flowers in front of you.

Should you pick some of the flowers for her? Does she even like flowers? Will she know that you just picked them at the last minute, instead of carefully thinking out an arrangement at a local florist? Steven’s friends with a lot of gems, what if she has future vision like Sapphire does? What if she already knows what you look like, before you even get a glance at her?

“Ugh,” you complain to yourself, and scrub your hands down your face. All of this worrying is getting you nowhere. Steven’s been your best friend since early childhood. If anyone’s going to have any idea of who would be perfect for you, it’s going to be Steven.

It’s a calming thought, but the idea that Steven very well may be bringing you your soulmate causes your heart to start slamming into your chest.

“[Y/n]?”

The sudden call of your name nearly makes you jump out of your skin, and when you peak through your hands at whoever called your name you see Steven holding hands with…someone you can’t make out in the bright sunlight.

You quickly jump up to your feet, brushing yourself and your hair off, pretending she didn’t just see you pathetically moping around in the grass.

“[y/n], this is Spinel!” Steven beams, nudging a gem looking equally as nervous as you closer to you so you can get a better look at her. She shyly rubs at the back of her neck with a gloved hand.

She’s….she’s beautiful. She’s so much prettier than you could’ve ever imagined. She’s bright, she’s bold, she-

You start giggling uncontrollably, and Spinel frowns, turning to Steven.

“H-hey, what’s the big idea here? You said they’d like me!”

“Oh, no no!” You frantically wave your hands around, a blush burning into your cheeks. “It’s not that! It’s just…” You giggle. “You just look like you’re in a punk rock band or something”

Spinel blushes, taken a bit aback, and beside her, Steven’s eyes turn into stars. “Awwww!” he coos, nudging Spinel just a bit closer to you. “That’s like, the biggest compliment you could give someone! Punk rock is the coolest!”

That makes your blush worsen, which makes Spinel snort in laughter (oh no, that’s adorable). She outstretches a hand to you, literally.

“Spinel! Though I’m sure you already figured that out, since Universe just told you”

You shy away from her outstretched hand, holding your own to your chest, but you flash a smile regardless. “I’m [y/n]”

She retracts her hand and laughs again. “Aww, whatsa’ matter? Afraid of a little punk rock?” she teases, and you laugh, but keep your hand where it is regardless.

Steven giggles. “Didn’t I tell you? Their spot hasn’t changed yet. They’re still on the lookout for their soulmate”

The playful smile suddenly fades from Spinel’s face, and it’s replaced with a dark magenta blush. “Really?” she says, in a hushed sort of whisper. “Lemme see” she takes another cautious step towards you, and you take a cautious step backwards.

“Nah, I won’t touch it,” she promises. “I just wanna see it”

She’s got an indescribable look in her eyes, but something about it tells you she’s telling the truth, so you cautiously show her the unimpressive little black spot on your hand.

She sure seems to think otherwise. “Wow,” she gasps, walking in a circle around you to get a good view of it at every angle. “I’ve neva seen one of these when they weren’t already full a’ color. Steven told me he’s had his filled since he met that girl Connie, and Garnet’s had hers since she first fused. I didn’t even know gems could have one, let alone a fusion” she shrugs, and stretched her neck around to look at herself. “I can’t find mine, that’s for sure”

Okay, that’s pretty reassuring to say the least. You snort in laughter, which makes her retract her neck back to its original place, and she grins widely.

Steven beams equally wide at the display.

“Aww, see? You’re perfect for each other!”

You and Spinel seem to blush at the exact same time, which only seems to prove Steven’s point even further. He laughs, and clasps his hands together. “Looks like my work here is done, let me know when you need a minister for your fusion ceremony!” he calls out, and runs off like he’s expecting you to chase after him for making such a comment. And you would, hadn’t it been for the worsening blush on your face.

“Fusion ceremony?” Spinel asks, tilting her head to one side in confusion.

“Marriage” you mumble, just under your breath.

“Oh,” she replies, equally flustered, which gives you the idea that Garnet must’ve filled Spinel in on the idea at some point or another. For a brief, seemingly never ending moment, you two stand in silence beside each other, the only thing capable of breaking the tension in the air between you two being the occasional breeze.

“Well…” you say, kicking at the grass and stifling a giggle. “Do you…wanna try the whole dating thing? To see how that goes?”

Spinel snorts in laughter, but vigorously agrees once you clarify that it’s a genuine offer.

It’s honestly the best decision you’ve ever made in your entire life. Although you’re both very shy about getting touchy with each other, you actually hit it off very well. One experimental date becomes two, than three, than four, than five, until you two eventually come to the very obvious conclusion that there’s nothing experimental about it anymore. You go on walks, to new movie releases, on mini road trips together, and with every date you go on you find yourself falling more and more in love with her, and you’re positive the way she looks at you she’s feeling the exact same way.

Your first kiss comes naturally. You’re sitting beside each other at sunset, hands mere inches away from touching, when you both lean over simultaneously and just go for it. It makes you both collapse onto the sand with laughter, your arms covering your eyes. Once you recover, you both sit up in the sand and give it another go.

After that, it becomes sort of a game between you two to try to sneak a kiss to the other without physically touching otherwise. You’d wind your hands around your back, you’d stand on your tiptoes, and on one or two occasions you’d recreate that kiss from Spider-Hero just to avoid touching each other.

And it’s not long before you find that you’re happier with Spinel than you’ve been with any other partner you’ve had in the past. All of this worrying about waiting to be found slowly fades around you. You no longer care who the universe may claim to be is your “assigned” soulmate, because as far as you’re concerned, you’ve already found yours in Spinel.

You’re pretty confident she feels the same way, so you psyche yourself up in the mirror to tell her you don’t care; you don’t care what the universe thinks, because you know she’s your soulmate. If you need to cover up your little black spot with layer after layer of concealer to hide it, to defy the universe’s choosing, you’d do it every day for the rest of your life.

You’re going to tell her.

You’re going to tell her, you repeat to yourself, stepping out of the bathroom in Steven’s home, where you’d been practicing. It was, in fact, the easiest place to meet Spinel, since the homeworld warp was right there beside his bedroom. And even then, she practically calls this place her second home, since she visits from homeworld so often so she can see you.

You’re going to-

You suddenly stop dead in your tracks at the sound of Spinel…crying?

“Spinel?” You frown, looking around for any sight of your girlfriend. “Spinel? Where are you?”

She doesn’t respond, just starts crying harder at the sound of your voice, which gives away her location as upstairs in Steven’s room. You book it up there between one blink and the next, and you find her curled up on Steven’s bed, hiding under his mass of blankets.

“Spinel?” you ask again, sitting beside her. “Are you okay?”

“Go away” she hisses, though she doesn’t sound like she actually wants you to leave. You shake your head. “Spinel, I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s wrong”.

She visibly tenses up under the blankets, and stretches to push herself even further under the blankets. “I said go away”.

You sigh, and shift your position on your bed. This isn’t the first time you’ve seen her break down like this. She’s broken down to you dozens of times before, about Pink Diamond, about her fear of abandonment, and of her commitment issues, and you know her well enough to know that she very rarely ever means it when she says she wants to be alone. But if she really means it this time, you suppose you can talk to her another time and let her work through whatever’s bothering her on her own.

You stand up from the bed. “Okay,” you cave. “But come and find me if you want to talk it out, okay? I’ll wait downstairs until you’re ready to talk”

There’s a pause, and you’re sure she isn’t going to say anything, but just as the first step creaks from you stepping on it, she tosses the mass of blankets aside.

“Wait,” she calls after you, and her voice is scratchy and broken from crying. “You’re right. I do want to talk to you”.

That’s more like it. You turn on your heel, and make your way back over to Steven’s bed, sitting right beside her. “Yeah?” you ask, as gently as you can. “What do you want to talk about?”

She wipes her tears away from her eyes with her wrist. “I…” she starts, twiddling her hands together. “I know how you’re always tellin’ me that you love me, and you wanna be with me no matter what, and all that stuff about how I didn’t deserve what Pink did to me, yadda yadda,” she sniffles, “but I overheard ya talkin’ to yerself in the bathroom. I heard ya sayin’ all this stuff about your soulmark, and how you don’t care this, and ya don’t care that, and…” she temporarily cuts herself off to curl her arms around herself. “I just kept thinkin’….if…if we really ain’t soulmates, if we really ain’t meant to be, then you’d run off, that you’d leave me for wastin’ all your time, that you’d forget all about me, and-” she chokes back a sob, and no matter how much she tries to continue she just can’t seem to compose yourself.

Your heart breaks for her. “Oh, Spinel…” you whisper to her gently, and you reach forward to cup her face gently in your hands, gently wiping her tears away. She jumps in shock from the gesture, but leans into your hand, gently bringing a hand of her own to place a hand of her own on top of yours. “Listen to me, okay? All of that stuff I was saying to myself in the bathroom was that I don’t care what the universe thinks of me anymore. I don’t care about who my soulmate was supposed to be, because I’ve found her in you. All of that was because I’m willing to defy the universe for you, Spinel” you tell her, and you gently rub little circles into her tear streaks with your thumb. She opens her eyes to gaze into yours, but before you can say or do anything else, there’s a brief flash of light as the black tear streaks on Spinel’s face suddenly bloom with color.

You must be staring at her in shock, because she’s laughing again. “What?” she teases. “I got somethin’ on my face?”

“Spinel…” you whisper, only managing her name, and suddenly you’re the one tearing up and just as it had when you first met those fateful few weeks ago, the smile in her face is suddenly fading away, replaced by a dark magenta blush.

“[Y/n]?” She asks you, equally as soft. She pulls her hand away from yours and gently pats at her face where her hollow tear streaks had just been moments ago. Tears start welling up in her eyes again, and this time she takes your hand from her cheek, and lo and behold, where there was once an empty black spot was now a spot bursting with every color of the rainbow.

“I knew it had to be you” you murmur, your voice breaking with emotion, and she chokes out a laugh as she launches herself at you, wrapping her arms around you and planting passionate little kisses all over your face.

“I love you too,” she murmurs, between one little set of kisses and the next.

#spinel #spinel x reader #spinelxreader #su x reader #my writing #fic #:)

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aty-altiria · 4 years

Text

No 4. RUNNING OUT OF TIME

Caged | Buried Alive | Collapsed Building

Word count: 2470

Universe: My Hero Academia, Harry Potter

Pairings: Fem!Harry/Present Mic

Rating: T

Themes: Collapsed Building, Panic Attack, Background Character Death

Summary: Hizashi didn’t track his days by good or bad, he just lived them. He never allowed a bad moment to ruin his mood, or the rest of what could be a potentially amazing day. But even Hizashi could admit… that particular day, though it started off good, was one of the worst in his life.

@whumptober2020

---

Hizashi knew from experience that the worst of days typically started off like any other day. There wasn't anything poetic about them, no stormy sky that screamed ‘run,’ no ominous music, no blatant signs saying that maybe he shouldn't go to work that day. The worst days weren't heralded by anything out of the ordinary—no rain at funerals, no tragic music to go with a hospital visit. There's was no sign. Nothing that told Hizashi that day would be unlike any other.

That particular morning started that same as the one before it. Hizashi woke second, he always did. Hizashi Yamada was, personally, an early bird. His jobs often kept him up late, so he often had trouble waking up. Hizashi needed sleep so severely due to his careers that he was to the point of needing seven different alarms. He'd sleep through everyone before his lovely wife finally turned them off and woke him up herself. By that point, coffee was already made - his goddess of a wife was the best at brewing it - and breakfast ready for them both.

"Tomorrow you sleep in, I'll do breakfast!" He had emphasized the comment with a swing of his arm that would have sent coffee across the room and right into Holly's face. Thankfully for them both, she had long ago carved runes in all their cups to prevent precisely that. As it was, Holly, an early bird herself, simply smiled with indulgence. Because as much as Hizashi wanted to do that - and did when the opportunity presented itself - they both knew he worked three jobs and wouldn't have the time. His positions as a teacher, pro-hero, and radio host stole all his time; honestly, there weren't enough hours in the day. Plenty of partners hadn't been able to handle it in his past and that Holly could made him even more willing to keep her. Holly was understanding and had her own interests that kept her busy, which Hizashi was glad for.

Holly was kept busy with things like her work as an ambassador for the magical community and the classes she taught in Mahoutokoro and her volunteer work. Between the two of them, it was a miracle they saw each other at all during the day, yet they managed. Holly would frequently visit UA, so much so that the kids knew her by sight, and she'd have lunch with him. They always made an effort to have breakfast together. And he'd sneak constant phone calls during song breaks at the radio-station. They made it work, so Hizashi thought nothing of the typical morning full of the regular routine.

In fact, things seemed to be shaping up to be a fantastic day because Holly would be bringing him - and Shouta - lunch after her meeting downtown. Hizashi even managed to convince Holly to spontaneously dance in their kitchen as the radio played one of their many songs before leaving. The lyrics absolutely didn't match them, but the music played when they'd first met, so Hizashi treasured it.

Hizashi left for work on time and didn't meet up with any traffic - a nice perk to marrying a witch, instant teleportation to his office at the school. Then Holly kissed him a fond farewell, playfully set a coffee beside the bundle that was Shouta, dodged the slap on the butt that Nemuri tried to catch Holly with, and vanished with a crack.

It was a good morning, and Hizashi was still smiling by his second lesson, the one before noon and his lunch-date with Holly.

It was a typical day.

And then Kaminari yelped in surprise in the middle of class. For the last ten minutes he'd been hiding his phone in his lap. He clearly thought Hizashi was blind and hadn't noticed that Kaminari was smiling into his crotch, which wouldn't have surprised him. Hizashi had left the boy to it out of the sheer laziness. Either way, the teen had gasped none too quietly and dragged the attention of the entire classroom. It had been a rare moment of silence ironically; otherwise, no one would have noticed-

He wouldn't have known-

"What's up, Denki?" That was Jiro thinking she was subtle in whispering under breath, which she was, but that was only because Hizashi was virtually deaf without his hearing aids. So technically speaking, he'd read the girl's lips.

"Yes, share with the class." Hizashi prompted as he casually leaned against the blackboard.

Kaminari flinched, paled, and looked up all at once. The sheepish expression grew from there, and the boy slowly pulled his phone out to present it. "Sorry sensei, it's just… there was a villain attack downtown, and it looks pretty bad."

The first thought in Hizashi's head at that moment was, if the attack was bad enough, he'd have known about it long before the news crews did. His second thought was: 'Holly is downtown.' The third was that he had Kaminari's phone in hand, and he hadn't even realized he was moving until it was.

"Sorry! I won't look at my phone again-… sensei?"

A woman was reporting, she was in a chopper over a collapsed building. He could see the surrounding area, see that the top sixteen floors had crushed the lower ones. The building had been destroyed until it was a third of its original height. Dozens of fires had started, and the reporter was warning the audience about graphic content, then the camera panned toward a collection of bloody smears which had been people- the villain was- a quirk that- red feathers rescued civilians- Holly worked in-

Hizashi knew that building.

"Sensei?!"

"He's freaking out…"

"Someone go get-"

"Present Mic? Are you alright-"

The building sat right beside Holly's, but Holly's was magic, so it was spelled to prevent Muggles from seeing it, from knowing about it. Hizashi only knew it existed because he'd been there. Holly had walked him through the barrier and given him a charm that protected his mind from Muggle-repellent charms.

"-Mic-"

Her building was right beside that one. It was buried underneath sixteen floors, which had landed right where it should be. No one, absolutely no one but a person with magic would have any idea that they were there. No one knew to rescue her- his wife- his-

"Hizashi!"

The blow stung, but it helped him refocus on Shouta. His best friend was staring Hizashi down with a hand still raised from the slap he'd just given Hizashi. Behind him were the kids, panicked, concerned, and ready for action. They were put-together despite their pro-hero teacher having a complete break down over a news report. And Hizashi, at one point he'd fallen to his knees- he'd also cracked the screen of Kaminari's phone- and Holly-

"Holly," he choked out, trying to stand- why wasn't his legs- he couldn't feel them-

"Hizashi focus, tell me what's wrong." Shouta was unflappably calm; he was steady when Hizashi's world shook. "What about Holly?"

"Her building," his words came out more like a whimper than anything, and it caused several of the more empathetic kids to flinch. Hizashi wasn't in the right mind to care either, not when his wife was likely-

"Kids come on, let's leave them-" that was Nemuri, when had she gotten there?

"I'm not leaving!"

"Maybe we can help!"

"Back off extra!"

Hizashi forced himself to focus and turned the cracked phone toward Shouta to explain: "Holly's building is beside this one, but she has a spel-" -that was a secret- "protections on it to prevent it from being located. No one will know to save her-" Shouta took the phone, pulled it from Hizashi's grip and focused on the location. His eyes glazed slightly, and Hizashi realized the charm worked beyond in person; it also worked across video footage. He quickly reached for his charm; it could help Shouta focused. They'd need it.

"Then we have to go!" Iida piped up, "we can assist in searching and rescuing the people trapped in this building!"

"We'll have to figure out how to find it, though, if we can't see it without prior knowledge? Unless the quirk works differently-"

"There's no time for talking; any second we waste here is another moment that more people could die! We should move out now."

"Its downtown," Tsuyu tried to calm the group, "our efforts are better spent contacting the heroes present to tell them of the building."

"My internship was near there, I can contact the group there to assist."

Hizashi managed a breath as the kids sped into action. They worked together instantly with the briefest bit of information. As Shouta stood and corralled them, gave them individual jobs as Nemuri took position on the floor beside him.

"I can't stay here…" he choked out, and she nodded.

"The kids are already going to tell Nedzu. Come on, my car is nearby. We can drive there together."

It may be pointless, it may be too late- Hizashi felt sick at the thought, but no comforting word would help him then. Nothing could make this better but Holly back, safe and sound, in his arms.

—

Holly woke up with Hizashi tucked so close to her that they almost blended into one person. Holly was instantly comforted by the feel on his beard, unshaved for several days, on her arm, and his hand tangled up around her body. Any tension built in awakening quickly evaporated as she realized she was alive, and Hizashi was safe with her.

Holly exhaled slowly and took in the hospital room. The first thing she noticed was that it was magical, which meant Hizashi had purposely ensured she was brought there. Which likely meant Holly had been far worse off than initially assessed. Still, considering the last Holly remembered, she had been trapped and unable to feel her lower body before blacking out… well, Holly found relief that she could currently wiggle her toes. She wasn't paralyzed.

"It was Hizashi that pulled you out."

Holly flinched minutely and shot a look to Hizashi; with the bags under his eyes, she did not want to wake him up, she knew at a glance that he needed rest. Hizashi continued to breathe slowly, and she relaxed long enough to address the speaker. The voice had startled her only because Holly hadn't noticed Shouta' napping' in the corner. It was a sign of how out of it she still was that he hadn't seen the bright yellow sleeping back to her left. That and she was honestly surprised Shouta had been allowed inside the magical hospital; he'd likely pretended to be a squib or Hizashi's relative to manage it. She could believe it, Shouta knew about magic for as long as he'd known about her, even though he technically wasn't allowed too.

"We contacted the heroes present in the collapse, but none of them could see the building." Shouta slowly started to climb from his sleeping bag, "something I think your people need to work on, secrecy or not."

"I don't disagree," she pointed out. Holly had been one of the leading voices in Muggle heroes being allowed to know about them. For rescue cases such as the one she'd gotten involved it or in the case of a hero finding a magical kid out of control. If they were to and treat a thing like that like a quirk, it could be a disaster. Not the mention that the fact that 'quirkless' didn't exist anymore and society had no idea. No clue that 'quirkless' children were actually magical ones. Not that her people were better at telling, Holly could name two people she personally knew missed by the magical warning system.

"Hmm," Shouta yawned, not bothering to cover his mouth, "we arrived with some of the kids, damned brats insisted on coming. Had a full mutiny on my hands because of you." Not that he disapproved. The brats had their hero licenses now, so they were allowed legally to assist. Midoriya had been specifically helpful as the wards didn't affect him. "It's annoying to be attempting to rescue people only to forget why I needed to. Not to mention having to grab Todoroki because he went running into traffic because he forgot the 'toaster' was on in the dorms."

Holly's sheepish expression grew even if it wasn't her fault.

Shouta just stared her down. "Midoriya was the one who located you, and Hizashi pulled you from the rubble where he insisted upon driving you here because your legs were mangled." She flinched, and Shouta's mad grin grew, but he couldn't disguise the worry in his eyes, "that was four days ago."

"And the casualties?"

"Sixteen, including both buildings… smaller than originally projected. Many survived thanks to a few nearby witches." Holly leaned her head back and felt Hizashi shift, he curled in closer to her, and she tightened the grip she had on his hand. He'd been holding hers while she'd been out, unmoving while she slept. "You worried him."

"I… didn't mean to."

"I know, and so does he," Shouta stood and started to roll up his sleeping bag, "though just so you've been warned, Nedzu intends to force him on vacation after this. Better take advantage of it… you both deserve one." With that, he slipped from the room, leaving Holly and Hizashi be.

Holly turned slowly once the door was closed; she looked at Hizashi and the stress in his sleeping face. She hated to see it, hated to know she'd caused it.

Hoping to relax his brow, she reached up and ran a figure along the pinch there. Like she'd used magic, Hizashi relaxed, and his sleep looked far gentler. The expression did it; Holly felt the tears begin to fall as she gave in to the fear she hadn't dared feel while she'd been pinned. The terror that she'd be forced to leave Hizashi, to pass on without him. She'd thought, believed for an instant that she'd never see him again, never do another lunch-date, never fall asleep together, never dancing to their many songs-

"Holly," Hizashi's fingers carefully wiped the tears falling along her cheeks. He had no words, and neither did she, but they didn't truly need them. Not as Hizashi held her tight, and they both acknowledged the terror and the relief that they'd made it.

#whumptober2020 #no.4 #Collapsed building #my hero academia #boku no hero fanfic #BNHA #present mic #yamada hizashi #Harry Potter #fem!harry potter #fanfiction

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blurhawaii · 4 years

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yuletide 2020

dear yuletide writer,

hello and happy yuletide! i’m pretty sure my letters get longer and longer every year and yet i’m still terrible at putting what i like into words. just know that the prompts are just suggestions--if you’ve got something else in mind, go for it. and sorry this is so disjointed.

likes:

dysfunctional relationships eg. codependency, messed up father/son dynamics, enemies to lovers, power imbalances.

vulnerability in men, uncertain intimacy.

UST, slow burn, first times.

magical realism/cosmic horror. weird hints of it in an otherwise normal universe.

redemption arcs.

found family.

big loyalty kink. love it when trust is earned and kept.

praise kink.

open and honest communication between partners.

polyamory. it’s the journey of them getting together and making it work that interests me the most. or how a couple goes about bringing in a third person.

stories set in canon. or a divergence of canon. fix-it fics.

dark/bleak fics. don’t be afraid to drag characters through the mud. happy endings are welcome but i like the struggle.

i’m fine with anything from gen to porn but would be happiest with something in the middle.

canon typical violence is fine and to be expected from some of my choices.

characters and their relationships are more important than plot for me.

dislikes:

AUs that are completely disconnected from canon e.g. high school, coffee shop AUs.

established relationships

crossovers

genderbending

feminisation of male characters

fics that are entirely fluff

A/B/O fics

PWP

mpreg

first person fics (i have no problem with second person fics tho if you think that could work.)

The Departed (2006) *Billy Costigan *Sean Dignam

one of my favourite films ever. i request it every year so you can't really go wrong with this as i'm just thirsty for anything.

most of my love is for dignam and his tough love attitude towards his job and the undercovers he's responsible for. i am endlessly endeared by his wild card quality, expletive fueled speech and hair trigger temperament. the father/son relationship with queenan that’s contrasted against billy’s father/son relationship with queenan. his complete disregard for everyone else in that office, especially sullivan. and how despite all of that, it's obvious that he cares. i don't think you could do a job like that and not care, and it’s those few and rare moments where we see him soften around billy --we need you, pal-- that's what i would like to see more of. that juxtaposition of good cop/bad cop coming from the same guy. shipping fic is preferred but whatever you are comfortable with is fine. due to the nature of the film i am perfectly comfortable with violence and the screwed up relationship they are bound to have. the friction born of the situation vs the fact that they need each other to get through this is what i am all about.

things that really get me with these two: codependency, power imbalances, the enemies to lovers trope, vulnerability, the whole constructing intricate rituals which allow you to touch the skin of other men thing they have going on, as seen in the gif above.

fics where billy survives are my usual go-to. i'd love something that explores the angst of billy's ‘where the hell were you when i needed you’ reaction towards dignam following queenan’s death all the way up to the ending, and beyond that assuming billy lives.

i’ve spent far too much time thinking about the line --why don’t we just meet up, sweetheart, let me buy you an ice cream. the jokey seriousness of it just kills me. if you can somehow write that happening in a believable, in character fic you would earn my eternal respect. whether that’s a clandestine meeting during billy’s undercover period or some kind of post-film scenario where dignam makes good on his promises, i have no idea.

daemon au - very curious how this would impact going undercover. daemons expressing feelings that the characters otherwise can’t. the intimacy of touching/comforting each other’s daemons.

soulmate au - either having their names on each other or their first words. this is admittedly a longshot but interests me for the same reason the daemon au does, because i’d love to see how this would work in a universe where you’re undercover.

time loop/groundhog day fic where things go better. or worse, i guess.

Godless (TV 2017)

*Roy Goode *Bill McNue *Alice Fletcher

i’m a massive fan of westerns. the harsh way of life, the violence, the isolation, drawn out revenge plots, the murkiness of good vs evil or sheriff vs anti-hero, the importance of honour and heroism and how that differs for men and women, especially in this universe and its town full of widows. having said all that, i’m still very much a sucker for cool cowboys in a shallow female way.

my favourite thing to do is turn every love triangle into an ot3. so i’d love a fic post canon where roy comes back once he realises his found family is just as important as his real family. i imagine bill would try to do the gentlemanly thing of bowing out and letting roy and alice be together but i’d love for alice to have the agency of choice, getting to have her cake and eating it too by choosing both roy and bill. however you jigsaw them together my main thing here is that i don’t want bill to get left out.

i feel the roy/bill aspect in particular could be explored a lot more. i love the earned mutual respect and how easily they move around each other during the gunfight at the end. (bill’s deteriorating eyesight side plot fascinates me, how it goes with his loss of purpose and comes back when teaming up with roy to defend the town.) the usual ideas of western masculinity get all twisted around when roy and bill are in the presence of alice and they both seem kind of subby towards her, which yes please. the way alice kisses the scar she gave roy and the fact that he simply lets her is *chef kiss*

i’m actually very okay with letting them be soft with each other after all of their tragedy.

honest communication between partners could work wonders here.

Locke (2013)

*Ivan Locke *Donal

i honestly think this film is an underappreciated masterpiece. a hour and a half long car ride that's totally compelling, and it's all down to tom hardy and his welsh accent that's not even welsh. of all the relationships broken down, strengthened, or tentatively started, it's the one between ivan and donal that interests me the most. you're given just enough background to know there is a history between these two. whether donal is his right hand man on the project or is just an assistant that effectively gets promoted because he's the only one still there willing to take ivan's call. either way, there's trust there, on top of the shared knowledge of donal's capacity to get drunk on the job --this has clearly been a problem before-- but ivan still trusts him enough to get his baby of a building built when he can't be there personally, and that fascinates me.

the film ends very much in a lurch and i can't bring myself to see the ending in a positive light. a baby with a woman he doesn't particular like is not a recipe for a fresh start and i honestly can't see ivan not following up on the progress of his building.

i have this image of ivan sleeping on donal's couch because his wife won't take him back, bethan realises she just wants the baby and not him, he's lost his job and he has nowhere else to go and so he's just backseat driving this buildings construction through donal’s position. you've got this man who's lost everything and an alcoholic just wallowing together, maybe clinging to the idea that with this buildings success, they can fix themselves.

i also ship it and if you manage to take it in that direction i would be totally into that too. i guess i'm just looking for something post film with these two.

i don't know anything about concrete farming tho so feel free to fudge that as much as you need to.

The Boys (TV 2019)

*Billy Butcher *Homelander

what i like about this show is that it’s dark, it’s violent and the relationships between the characters are about as fucked up and convoluted as you can get. i am specifically interested in the relationship between billy and homelander and how the power is constantly shifting. i’d love something that just takes into account every horrible reason why they want to kill each but also all the reasons why they haven’t. ship fic is more than welcome.

details that interest me the most:

all the bizarre family dynamics - their shared bad relationships with their fathers. loved the scene where billy learns about homelander’s childhood and how that tiny humanising moment might affect his view of the man. especially in season 2 where we see them both interacting with ryan. love the inverse of homelander trying to be a good dad and billy wanting absolutely nothing to do with the kid. i wish we could have seen more of the dynamic immediately following the cliffhanger at the end of season 1. what happened between that moment and billy waking up somewhere else. maybe some kind of bizarre hostage situation family in this small suburban home.

i am fascinated by the idea of having the buffer of both becca and ryan between them. not being able to kill each other at the end of season 1 because of the deal becca made, and then again at the end of season 2 with homelander not wanting to be seen as a villain in front of ryan. maybe billy doesn’t ship ryan off at the end of season 2. maybe he thinks he can keep him safest by raising him himself and you get this weird co-dadding situation where the kid is the only thing keeping them from killing each other.

the public cleaning of the slate post-season 2 with billy not being a wanted man any more and homelander having to appear as a united front with the seven. would love something with billy pushing things in public because homelander can’t do anything about it.

homelander’s desperation to be loved. the potential of obsessive one sided relationships.

thank you writer and best of luck.

#yuletide #yuletide 2020

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i-heart-danchou · 5 years

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Again Chapter 2

Sorry it’s been a while. This is a fic in which Levi keeps reliving his last day with Erwin over and over again. Part one found here

-------- The next morning it happened again. Levi awoke with a gasp, clutching his chest, and immediately reached out for Erwin beside him. Fuck. Fuck. What was he doing wrong?? He kept quiet about it once more, wondering just how the fuck he was supposed to make this eternal misery come to an end. He couldn’t keep doing this. He couldn’t bear to do this for the rest of eternity, it was worse than any hell he could possibly imagine. He listened once more to Erwin’s heart breaking as he realized his dream would never come true. As he asked Levi to kill the beast titan, as he signed his own damn death warrant.  “You take down the beast titan, Levi. Please.” Levi looked up at Erwin and shook his head. “No, Erwin. He doesn’t matter. None of this matters. I won’t be able to take him down by myself, he’ll get away, it’ll all be for nothing.” Erwin looked surprised. “…What do you suggest?”

“Let me die with you. We can charge him at least. We can distract him enough for the kids to take down their fucking titans and make a damn break for it. Eren’ll be fine. We’re all fucked, we might as well go down together.”

They made the announcement to the troops and mounted their horses. Levi stayed at Erwin’s right side and rode as close to him as he could.

“I love you.” He whispered, but surely Erwin didn’t hear him. The stones were excruciating as they tore through Levi’s flesh, but he was glad, in a way, that both he and Erwin were struck at the same time. Their horses collapsed, they fell together, and Levi used what little strength he had left to move to Erwin and hold him in their last moments together.

“Erwin?” Levi whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

Erwin was breathing but couldn’t respond. It didn’t matter, at least they were together.

Levi heard some footsteps squelching in the mud and cast a wary eye up at that soldier with the horrible hair who had been having a breakdown earlier. That… Floch was looking at Erwin, watching him breathe.

“He’s still alive?” The cadet muttered to himself. “And you are too? Shit. There is no fucking justice.”

Levi was too weak to resist as Floch flipped him over and rolled him away from Erwin. He raised his arms in mild protest as the boy shoved his hand into his coat and grabbed the box with the serum inside.

“No.” Levi muttered. “Please, no.”

“Commander…?” Floch sneered. “You’re not getting away that easily. Let’s hope Eren got us a shifter, eh?”

Levi could only look on as Floch strapped Erwin to his back. The commander groaned in pain, reached his hand out and… “Levi…”

“Erwin— please—!”

His vision was getting blurry and his strength was fading fast. “Erwin…”

He bled out in the mud, and knew no more.

No. Fuck no, fucking no fucking way was Erwin getting turned into a titan like that. Maybe… maybe he was overthinking it. The day would likely play over and over until he got it right, right?

Erwin had to live. That much was a given. They both had to live or this was never, ever going to end. The day played out once more, but it wasn’t getting any easier to bear.

“Eren.” He demanded, blood dripping from his face. “Give me all your gas and blades. Quickly!”

The boy nervously complied, and Levi shoved the syringe box against his chest. “Save Armin.” He muttered, his face barely shifting when Floch made his appearance with Erwin on his back.

“Give him to me.” Levi demanded, leaving no room for any argument. “I’m going to get help, give him to me.”

The enemy was on the run, he just… he had to hurry.

“But captain— the injection, you could—“ Floch was incredulous.

“He doesn’t need it. Armin’s hurt worse, Erwin can survive. He’s stronger than anyone, believe in him, dammit. Give him to me.”

He didn’t stumble when nearly just over 200 pounds of dead weight was strapped to his back. Levi squeezed Erwin’s hand and took off, flying through the air as fast as his gear could carry him. “Please…” He whispered, “please, hang on.”

He ran out of gas maybe two miles away from Maria. Erwin’s body had made the journey a lot less efficient than it would have been otherwise. “Erwin… Erwin I’m sorry.” He was mournful, there was nothing more he could do.

Erwin’s head flopped to one side, his eyes open and fixed… his lips were cold and blue. His blood had soaked through Levi’s uniform, had cooled, had dried, and was now flaking away as Levi moved.

“…Erwin?” Levi’s voice was a whisper.

Somewhere in transit Erwin Smith had bled to death. Levi hadn’t… he hadn’t even noticed. Fuck. FUCK!

His scream sent birds scattering from the trees, and he let Erwin’s body down onto the grass. His bandage had shifted, his intestines spilling out onto the earth.

No. No no no not again.

“One more try, Erwin.” Levi muttered, putting his signal gun against his temple. “I’ll get it right, just wait.”

His eyes snapped open and he covered his face with his hands. There was no other way, then. Without the injection, Erwin would die.

Okay, that was fine. Levi could work with that. Obviously it had gone tits up last time but… he knew Eren. There… there had to be a way to make the boy see reason. Make it so that he’d be okay with the decision.

Erwin made his appearance on that fucking rooftop and Levi reached out and touched Eren’s forearm. “I know it sucks. I know it fucking sucks. Armin’s brilliant, he’s an asset to humanity, and I hate that it’s fucking coming down to this. But Erwin is the right choice, Eren. He’s got the experience, the charisma, the talent, the smarts… I know you love your friend. I know you know the pain of loss but… please.” He lowered his head with respect. “Please. Don’t fight me on this.”

There was still a struggle, but Levi resisted the urge to knock Eren’s teeth out of his mouth. He kept a steady hand on the syringe box and looked Eren in the eye. “Eren.”

Without Eren being wounded, Mikasa didn’t launch her attack. She wept, but she didn’t scream.

Eren’s intense eyes shifted between his friend and the commander… Armin was in agony, Erwin’s breathing was getting more and more shallow.

Hanji spoke. Floch spoke. Eren saw reason and stepped back, cradling his friend with Mikasa through his last, horrific moments.

The needle pierced Erwin’s skin and he saw a whisper of blood sneak back into the hub of the syringe. “I’ve got you, Erwin. It’s gonna be okay.”

He watched once more as Erwin’s disgusting titan ate Bertholt, and once more he ran to his commander when the smoke had settled. He was whole, he was breathing, he was pink faced and as beautiful as Levi had ever seen him.

“Levi…?” Erwin managed, watching his hands tear away from the muscle of his titan. “Oh…”

Erwin slipped into unconsciousness and Levi stood by him the whole time. He was a ball of nervous energy. Had it worked? Would he finally be free of this curse?

In time Erwin sat up and stared at his hands. His hands. “The basement.” He said immediately. “Please.”

Eren was miserable but, thankfully, not furious. They made their way down to his old house and fumbled their way into the basement. It took some time, but gradually they found Dr. Jaeger’s three volumes that held the truth of the universe inside of them.

Erwin touched the tomes with reverence, his eyes darting over the pages as he hungrily tried to take in all the information. “Yes.” He whispered. “Yes, yes yes.”

Levi looked up at him. “What? What does it mean?”

“There’s a whole world out there, Levi.” He rubbed his right wrist. “And they want us dead.”

Erwin was nearly silent as they made the journey back to Sina. His eyes were forward, his jaw was tight, his whole body was tense.

They arrived at the gate and people were keeping a distance from him. There were whispers— he grew his arm back like a lizard— a monster, a demon, a body to match his wicked soul. No one would get near enough to touch him.

He spoke formally to the queen, to the press, and informed everyone of what had transpired. There was a great cheer and a celebration was ordered but…

“No, that’s not appropriate at this time.” He said matter of factly. “We lost nearly the entire survey corps this morning. An appropriate period of grieving and respect is in order, I think. Excuse me.”

Levi followed him to his quarters, eyes wary, movements silent.

He watched Erwin move to his private bathroom and empty the contents of his stomach into the toilet. His whole body heaved as he vomited, his hair falling out of place and his eyes watering. He stared into the bowl and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “How strange.” He muttered. “No human remains.”

Erwin moved to the sink and rinsed his mouth out, grasping the white ceramic with both hands when he finished. His head hung low, his shoulders were tense, and his body was shaking.

“Erwin?” Levi approached him from behind and touched his back.

In the mirror, Erwin’s eyes were bloodshot and sunken. He took a long, shuddering breath and brushed past his partner, taking a few moments to compose himself.

“Erwin.” Levi repeated, his anxiety making his patience wear thin. This wasn’t like Erwin, it just… wasn’t.

The commander sat down on the bed and removed his bolo tie, staring at it for a beat as though he might toss it away, then closing his fist over the cool green stone and bringing it to his chest. “Dammit.”

Levi knelt before Erwin and looked up at him. “Tell me what’s in that head of yours.” He demanded, touching Erwin’s knee. “Erwin.”

“He was right. My father was right about everything. He died for telling the truth.” Erwin laughed and it was hollow. “And now… a whole world of humans to fight still. A battle that will probably never end. Truth… understanding. It was everything I ever wanted.”

Levi’s eyes were wide as he watched his commander crumble.

“Everything I ever wanted.” He repeated, putting his head in his hands.

Levi stepped away, shaking his head. For fuck’s sake, what had he done?

“Thirteen years.” Erwin shook his head.

Thirteen years of carrying this burden, the weight of his guilt, his comrades’ blood. Thirteen years of fighting, of being a weapon, a monster, of being unable to fucking rest. And then… at the end of it all, chained up, eaten alive… a never ending cycle of evil.

“Erwin?” Levi cupped Erwin’s face with his hand, and Erwin’s blue eyes met his. “I’m going to fix this, okay? It’s my fault and I’m sorry.”

“…What are you talking about?” Erwin sounded so, so exhausted.

Levi pressed a kiss to his temple and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. Just rest, Erwin. I love you.”

In a different frame of mind, Erwin might have followed Levi up to the roof. But right now Erwin was broken, and Levi used that to his advantage. He made his way to the highest tower and opened a window, shutting his eyes for a moment against the soft breeze.

“One more time.” He whispered, his boot scraping against the stones as he defenestrated himself. He tried to land head first so he would break his neck. His body crashed into the earth with a crunch, and the world went black.

#my stuff #eruri fic #timeloop au #low confidence is low

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