#please forgive me if like. some of these aren't as well thought out as others lol

[bewilderedbuck]

Devi vs. David: aka a comprehensive list of every single time ben gross has referred to devi as one or the other (season three edition)

here it is, the post you all have been waiting for! first off, if you missed them, please check out parts one and two where i talk about ben's use of devi vs. david in seasons one and two. and once again, this is just a list documenting every single instance in season three where ben refers to her as either devi or david with context + insight. i am making this mostly for my own purposes. also, some of the netflix captions are incorrect for this season (for example in 3x05 when he sees her at the coffeehouse for the first time) so if the font looks different on some of the screencaps, it's because i captioned them myself.

let's get started.

the first instance in season 3 we see him refer to her at all, it’s as david; the first instance in season 1 was also a david, but this time instead of being used as a mark of rivalry, it is used as a mark of friendship. we see ben use david a lot this season, during what i affectionately refer to as the benvi besties era. but here, in this instance, it isn’t just used to establish their friendship. i mean, it sort of is i guess, but in two separate directions: the first being towards devi, and the second towards ben himself. setting those boundaries in his head, so to speak, because this is right after she tells him things are going great with paxton.

another friendship david! i really love how they interact in this scene: he’s being so genuine when he says this, and her lil smile afterwards? priceless. the way he uses david as a term of endearment will never get old to me.

obviously devi isn’t present in this scene, so it makes sense he doesn’t refer to her as david, but i just wanna point out that ben is a liar liar pants on fire!! while yes, ben and devi are solidly friends, he is still obviously harboring feelings for her. even his own girlfriend can see that. he is so quick to assure aneesa that he does not still have feelings for devi, but the way he talks about her here (insulting, but also sounding so fond, literally ben and devi’s love language!) and even like directly referencing what her freaking backpack looks like (because he notices everything about her, he can’t not notice her) like…dude. you are not making a good case for yourself.

also, this is not particularly relevant because, again, she isn't in this scene, but i still want to make the observation just like i did in part two that ben has never called her david around aneesa. there is no way this isn’t intentional. he calls her david in front of the rest of their friends, but if aneesa is present, it’s devi or nothing at all.

continuing the trend of ben referring to her as david as a term of endearment / mark of friendship. there was no reason for him to put david in the text; he could have left it at “Holy shit! Did you do this?” and the message would still have come across. but he wants to add that extra layer to it, that extra oomph by referring to her as something that is just for them. just for their friendship. something special they have that no one else does. (also ben for fucks sake stop texting the love of your life for like two fucking seconds and pay attention to your actual girlfriend. jesus christ.)

this is the first time he refers to her post-time skip - not that that really matters, i just wanted to point it out. ben is, as he says, four beers deep at this point, and they’re in the presence of friends. it just makes sense for the nickname to slip out. eleanor and fab also make no remarks about it (eleanor didn’t in the 3x02 troll shenanigans instance, either, pre-time skip), so they know it’s harmless.

okay so in this one, the netflix captions are actually wrong — the captions say devi but ben very clearly says david, so i captioned this one myself. anyways. i just want to point out. benjamin. came to the coffeehouse. just because he heard devi say she was going to kiss someone there. you are not slick, dude. anyways. “Are you the charity we’re raising money for tonight?” is a callback to 2x05, obviously: “Well, this is a charity event, and you are, after all, a charity case.” banter. classic benvi banter. this isn’t a friendship david, even though they are friends. and the thing is, ben knows why he’s here. he’s not delusional; i don’t think he walked into the coffeehouse expecting for devi to kiss him. he was hopeful, maybe. but using david in a more teasing context as opposed to a term of endearment here, once again, sets those boundaries in his head. it’s never just as simple as whether he says david or devi; it’s also the tone he uses, how he says it.

condescending king!!! okay no but for real. he uses devi here to exaggerate — i mean, he literally just called her david not even two minutes prior. it’s not a real dig at her, not a real insult, and she knows that. and honestly, i think he’s using their banter in this episode as some sort of armor, because he knows he wants to kiss her, and knows that he’s not going to, so it’s just…easier to be a dick. he keeps his guard up that way. yeah, he flirts by being an asshole, too, and while this episode does have flirty vibes (let’s be real they both wanted to kiss each other the whole damn time), i think ben is just mostly on the defense. especially after that “Don’t fall for a friend,” comment he makes to aneesa later on in the episode. (also, this is the first time this season he refers to her as devi to her face — the only other time so far he’s called her devi was when he was attempting to assure aneesa he didn’t have feelings for devi anymore.)

really just reiterating a lot of what i said about the first instance of david during the coffeehouse. trying to make light of the situation, because really, we know he’s already jealous of whoever it is she’ll be kissing tonight, and he knows it’s not gonna be him. 

more condescending ben! keeping up with the david here, same reasons as above, except it’s his second sentence here i really wanna talk about: “Most guys at drama club events are either dragged here by their girlfriends or are looking for boyfriends.” like WOW okay first of all, way to stereotype, but ALSO, i’m 100% convinced he said that because, you know, he doesn’t want her kissing anyone else. 

this just feels like such a soft moment for me. this is right before 3x06, which is the episode ben decides to finally start to try moving on, but really, i think he started thinking about it in this episode, right at this moment. this “good night, devi,” almost reads like a “goodbye” to me -- not a real one, obviously, but a goodbye to the hopes he might have had for rekindling their romance. he’s going to keep on loving her (he can’t not love her), but he’s done letting himself be miserable about it.

"...would’ve been the end of our journey together.”

ok once again it is obvious he does not refer to her as david when she is not present + even if he did it would not be to paxton but anyways. what i wanna talk about here is how ben has moved on from the cheating incident. i don’t think he’s like, fully 100% over it obviously,  and he’s def not over her, but so casually referencing it to devi’s other ex-boyfriend and there not being a hint of malice towards her in his voice? at this point it’s been probably about a year and a half, give or take, since the two-timing. yes, she broke his heart, but he’s had time to move past that aspect of it. and you could argue that he casually references it because in this scene he’s in one of the most embarrassing situations he’s ever been in and is trying to make light of the situation, but i think it’s more than that. he’s accepted that devi made a big fucking mistake. he’s moved on from it. not from her, not really, but from what she did to him.

okay, yes, this comment comes across as sort of asshole-ish on the surface, but honestly? this is one if the nicest, most genuine things ben has said to her all season. i’m not even kidding when i say that. here, samberg directly says “This would normally prompt a twinge of jealousy in Ben, but if last night taught him anything, it was that he needed to let go of whatever caused him pain.” and like yeah okay comparing devi to the literal shit that was stuck in his gastrointestinal tract is….not great, but i see where he’s coming from. ben is making the conscious decision to stop hopelessly pining after devi. obviously, those feelings are still there, they are not going away just because he’s decided to start moving on. but he’s at peace now with the fact that they missed their chance (or so he thinks). david, once again, used as a mark of friendship. this is ben’s way of saying, “I hope this works out for you, friend. You deserve to be happy.”

"...Don’t be insufferable about this, but you may have been right to think that we can win.”

okay, real quick, can we talk about how chill ben was with the possibility of losing? season two ben could never. ANYWAYS. of course he has to at least sort of be a dick (“Don’t be insufferable about this…”) but he genuinely means it. it’s a praise and an encouragement wrapped into one (up until the paralegals and faux-jeopardy computer stroll in) because they’ve been doing so well during the tournament. he has faith in her. david being used to get her attention here before he gives her that praise makes it come across even more genuine, i think, because this is ben we are talking about here and, again, david is a term of endearment for them!

"...if you aren’t too busy making demented faces into your phone.”

BANTER like yes ok he’s genuinely annoyed here. but. this whole scene just oozes besties banter. don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a friendship david. it reads very close to their s1 enemies back-and-forth but there’s also that extra layer underneath, laced with the littlest bit of affection, because he doesn’t hate her like he did back then. (also, they’re working on a project together instead of competing for the best in class. season 1 pre-model un benvi could never.)

he's trying to soften the blow of what he’s about to tell her about rhyah and des; obviously it doesn’t really work, because she still flips out on him lol, but he tries. he doesn’t even banter back when she tells him that his outfit is ugly. he’s heartbroken that he has to tell her this. he wanted so badly for this to work out for her. for her to be happy. but he has to do right by her, has to tell her because she deserves to know the truth. uses david to soften the sharpness of that truth. 

david once again being used in a friendly context; his tone here is softening from the petty banter they had just been engaging in. telling her it’s “dumb not to go,” using david in the middle of that sentence for emphasis, but somehow he’s still not coming across as a dick here. he knows how impactful it would be for her to go, and tells her as much. but…

cut me in half. throw me off a cliff. i may never emotionally recover from this. ben being so vulnerable here, probably the second most vulnerable we’ve ever seen him (the first being 3x06 with his father). telling her he doesn’t want her to go, that he’ll miss her, because he wants her in his life. even if they aren’t together. even if they never become anything more than friends again. he likes having her around. wants to keep her around. and he isn’t afraid to say it anymore. david here being used to, once again, establish that closeness between them, that closeness to his best friend (even if it’s never actually stated that she is his best friend, she is, she is). david being used because this is just them, just for them, words that cannot be left unsaid.

#long post #ben gross #devi vishwakumar #benvi #ben x devi #devi x ben #never have i ever #nhie #nhie s3 #nhie spoilers #never have i ever season 3 #meta #never have i ever meta #nhie meta #devi vs david #please forgive me if like. some of these aren't as well thought out as others lol #i have been working on this for like...four days lol so it may be a little all over the place #s1 edition & season 2 edition i both did in like....one night each #anyways i am so glad i am finally done with this one and you can BET i'm going to do one for season 4 when it comes out #anyways ben and devi are in love bye

[sanguineterrain]

Could we please get a drabble in which Jason and his partner have a fight and the partner walks out of the apartment to cool off and doesn't think the fight was something detrimental but Jason is actually terrified his relationship just ended?

anon?? are we sharing a mental connection?? i literally had this thought a month ago 😳 it fits him so well too :(

jason todd x gn!reader. tw fighting, jason thinks you broke up with him, misunderstandings, happy ending.

****

"You're not being fair."

You scoff, and pinch the bridge of your nose.

"Fair? This is what couples do, Jason! God, I'm not saying we have to go out with other couples every week, but can't we do it at least once in a while? What's wrong with going to one wedding?"

Jason scowls from the kitchen. His arms are crossed, jaw tensed. "Why aren't you happy with just going out together? You're not in a relationship with your friends."

"Because it's good to do new things, and you're someone I want my friends to meet. And I want to meet your friends too!"

"My friends are aliens and Roy. You don't wanna meet them, trust me."

"Yes, I do, Jason. Don't tell me I don't. And I know this relationship is new for both of us, but I don't want it to be that we never go out with people, never meet each others' friends. You don't even have a good reason not to go!" you say.

"I do have a good reason," Jason says. "We don't know them."

"I work with the bride! She's not a criminal—"

"We don't need to go to someone's wedding we don't know," he continues. "Too many variables. Too many things could go wrong."

You shake your head. "That is so ridiculous, Jason. It's not spycraft, it's a wedding!"

"I said no," Jason says sharply, like he's handling a Crime Alley thug.

You take a deep breath.

"Okay." You close your eyes. "This isn't going to work. I need some air."

You grab your wallet and keys and walk out of his apartment. The train station is only a block from where you are; you'll go to the city square, have some lunch, and go back after a few hours. Jason doesn't respond well when he's pushed.

****

It's close to 5pm when you get back to Jason's apartment. He hasn't texted you, but you didn't expect him to; no contact is best for a few hours anyway.

You unlock the door. The apartment is dark.

"Jay?" You put your things down on the side table. "Jason? You here?"

Had he gone on patrol already?

There's a bump in the bedroom, then the door creaks open.

Jason stands in the doorway, clothes rumpled. You turn on a lamp, and he squints. His eyes are red; the skin of his lips are chewed up. He blinks at you, shoulders going to his ears.

"Are you here for your stuff?" he asks quietly.

You frown. "What?"

Jason points tightly to his room. "Your clothes and stuff."

"Why would I get my clothes?"

He takes a deep, shuddery breath, then swallows.

"'Cause we-we broke up," he says, and his eyes become glassy again.

Oh.

"Oh. Oh no, Jay. Jay, baby. No, no."

You walk to him and wrap your arms around his neck. He plants his face in your shoulder, hands going from your hips to your back and down again. He sniffles.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. We can go to the wedding."

"Wait, hang on. Jason. Baby, look at me."

Jason picks up his head. His eyes are wide, his breathing is fast.

"Why do you think we broke up, Jay?"

He rubs his eye, pulling the skin so hard it turns red.

"'Cause we fought and... and when I fight with people, that means things are over."

"Things aren't over," you say gently. "We move on. We talk. We forgive."

"Don't deserve it."

"Oh, Jay." You pull him back into your arms. He bends so he can rest his head on your chest. "Sweetie, we're not going to break up over one fight. Certainly not over something like this. We can always talk things out."

He sighs. "I was stupid anyway. We should do normal couple things. You don't deserve my bullshit."

You stroke his hair. He hugs you tighter.

"Jay, being anxious about going someplace new isn't bullshit. And I don't want you to go to the wedding just because you're afraid we'll break up if we don't."

He pulls back to look at you. You're no more than a couple inches from each other.

"I don't want to go to the wedding," he says. "But... maybe we can start with something smaller? Less people? Dinner with another couple?"

"Are you sure?"

He nods. "Yeah, sweetheart. I'm sure. I wanna do that stuff, I just—one day at a time?"

"Yeah, Jay, of course." You kiss him. "Always."

#jason todd x reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd x gn reader #red hood x reader #red hood x you #red hood fanfiction #jason todd fanfiction #batman fanfiction #dc fanfic #inbox #blurb

[mellowwillowy]

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐁𝐨𝐱

Yan! PriestS × GN! Reader × Yan! Sponsor

Cw: Blackmail (not effective because you were a pervert), NSFW

"Brother Jordan! Brother Stefan!"

There you were, running toward them like a little chick flapping its wings, chirping in joy. You immediately jumped toward Brother Jordan and wrapped your legs around his waist. He caught you and patted your head before giving you a blessing.

"So what brought you here, dear?"

"I missed you two!"

"Oh really? I thought you only missed Jordan."

Brother Stefan smirked as he teased you, his hand went to cup your cheek before giving it a tiny squeeze, earning a playful whine from you.

"I missed Brother Stefan too!"

You got off from Brother Jordan and went to Brother Stefan, giving him a tight hug, "Brother Stefan is my favorite as well!" He only patted your head in response before guiding you to a room.

"Ah ah ah, didn't you say you wanted to pray first, Jordan?"

"Sneaky man, I dare you to do anything to them."

Brother Stefan paid no mind to his words and guided you further into the room before setting you down. He took the key and locked the door from the inside. He was contemplating of either hanging the key on the handle or not before he pulled it and kept it in his pocket.

"Now," he turned to you, hands spread to both sides, "how about we start our 'confession' hm?"

You were sitting on the red plushy couch when he approached you, scooting to your side while his hand felt your face, "I think it's time to forgive those who have sinned, no?"

You decided to act dumb, staring into the distance while questioning him back, "I haven't done anything wrong though?"

Brother Stefan smirked at your refute before scooting himself closer to you, his lip nipped your ear as he whispered, "Of course you did nothing wrong... masturbating while thinking of me isn't as sinful as the thought you had while doing so..." His hand traveled to your thigh, rubbing it up and down, "Did you fun have playing yourself while you thought of the pillow as myself?"

Your face grew redder out of excitement. Sweat dribbled down from your forehead as you squeezed your thighs against each other, feeling your sex growing excited. What was once a teasing nip turned into a bite, his hand cupped your sex.

"What a bad child you are..." He whispered into your ear, "So naughty and needy for me, no?" His lip trailed off from your ear to your jaw, giving it a playful nip before moving on to your neck. Just as he finished kissing your jaw, his lip moved to abuse your neck, littering the skin with hickeys.

"What would people think of you? The child that always visits the Church is actually nothing but a slut..." He mocked as his index finger felt your neck, tapping on the hickeys he made.

"~Nooo... don't wanna them know that~~" You whined as you leaned into his chest, your thighs clasped tightly, squeezing his hand.

"Of course, you don't want to. But, how should I say it..." Brother Stefan took out his phone, a recording of you masturbating while calling out for his name was played on his phone.

"Stefan...! Stefan! Nnghh... I want- YOU...!"

Your eyes went wide as the excitement inside you grew more. You could feel your breathing grew erratic as you watched yourself. Your ass raised up in the air while both of your hands worked themselves to please your needy self. The lube that made your fingers enter your hole easily, the squealching noises were somehow captured in the video.

"So naughty... aren't you? You chanted my name as though it was some sort of prayer unless it actually was?" He teased, his fingers creeping into your underwear while his tongue felt your neck.

Then, just before he could do more to you,

Creak.

"... I should have known you are up to no good, ...Seth."

"Hm? What was that?" Brother Stefan was right in time to disrupt your focus with him kissing your ear.

"Nothing. Now, what do you think you are doing?"

"I don't know. Why not ask our precious doll instead?" He answered nonchalantly as he took off your lower garments.

You looked up to meet Noel's eyes watching your squirming figure. You could see how his Adam's apple bobbed as he cleared his throat.

"Immoral, Stefan, stop what you are doing right now."

"Since when are you as nosy as Jordan?"

Brother Stefan immediately used both of his hands to spread your legs, showing how there was a wet patch in your underwear, "Or perhaps you are sulking because you don't get to feel them?"

Noel didn't retort back immediately, he simply spat at his remark before sitting himself next to you.

"Oh please, I'd rather do it in a much more romantic way." Noel swatted Brother Stefan's hand away before replacing it with his own hand. His hand started feeling your excited sex up and down before he slid your underwear down.

Noel wasn't the type to be this confident, you figured he was not pleased Alas he was rather shameless today.

"Ah, seems like this underwear is no good anymore, especially not when it's been drenched wet." Noel chided you while he tore your underwear. Yup, you were certain he was 100% unpleased. He wasn't the type to be this rough. Brother Stefan's throat clearing snapped you out of your thoughts, "I am sure I did not invite anyone to partake in this confession session?"

"Ah, I'm sure my little doll here wants me to be here as well, the video," Noel pointed toward the phone that was lying next to Brother Stefan, "you didn't show the whole video."

Another video was played, this time from a different angle.

".... uuu... Noel..."

Brother Stefan merely chuckled to himself, not showing any attempt to refute him.

"Then, I suppose sharing this sin would be better. 50-50, fair?"

Noel tsked at his words but showed no sign of refusing it either. Instead, he grabbed your face by your chin and locked his lip with yours, his tongue prodding your lip to let him enter.

Brother Stefan wasted no time in undressing you either, taking off all the clothes that were covering your figure. While your lip was occupied with Noel, his lip started to nip your bare skin, decorating it with hickeys again.

His hand traveled to your chest, pinching your nipple while the other hand squeezed your thigh. Noel had always been a good kisser, always leaving you breathless in a sense.

Just as the two of you broke out of the kiss, the string of saliva that connected the two of you broke. Noel changed his pace and started to lick you from your jaw to your collarbone, his hand working its way to your needy sex.

"... looks like it won't stop dripping out, hm?"

"Ah-?"

Brother Stefan cut you with his tongue feeling your mouth, kissing you even rougher than Noel did. Soon enough, your body jolted as Noel started to pleasure you, eyes squeezed shut while your hands rested on Brother Stefan's shoulders, holding his robe tightly.

You tried to speak Alas it was unclear due to Brother Stefan's relentless kissing. The moment he pulled away, his mouth moved to abuse your nipple, sucking and biting it all together.

Noel's pace increased as he noticed you were about to come, his lip peppered your face with kisses and praises, "So good, so good for me."

"I think you shouldn't forget that I am here as well?" Brother Stefan raised one of his eyebrows as his finger slipped into your mouth, pulling out your tongue with his fingers, "Say, who exactly are you being good for? Me, or Noel?"

You shook your head, squeezing your eyes shut while tears puddled in your eyes due to the pleasure that was bottled up in your stomach, "nyoh- twooh- both!"

""Greedy as usual, aren't you?""

While it looked rather adorable seeing the two of them peck your cheek, it turned erotic the moment you realized you just come.

Your body slumped down on the couch while both Brother Stefan and Noel pulled their wet hand away, each licking the fluid clean.

"..... so they are both here?"

"....-tor Noel is also in there."

"Great! Well, off you go Brother Jordan! I got the spare key to use!"

There were clinking noises before the door handle was spun. Then, a man who looked like a carbon copy of Noel entered. The only difference was that he was only a bit smaller than him, in height and muscle-wise.

"...Erickson?"

"Ohh! So wasted up already doll?"

Noel groaned at the sight of his brother approaching them, "lock the door." He reminded and yet Erickson simply shrugged it away and ran toward you, crouching down to rest his face on your thigh.

"Did you two have fun while I was away?"

"Lot." Brother Stefan answered.

Erickson hummed as he kissed your trembling thigh, his hands feeling your thighs. "I think I'm kinda pent up again," Erickson stood up and unzipped his pants, "think your pretty hole can help me, doll?" He licked his finger before inserting it into your hole, giving it a few pumps before scissoring it into width.

Noel and Brother Stefan stood up and started to take off their pants as Erickson sat himself down on the couch, lifting you to sit on his thigh while his hardened cock poked your hip.

"You know what to do, put it in yourself."

You nodded eagerly and slipped yourself into his lengthy cock. The tip prodded in before he slammed you down completely into his length.

"Nngh-?!"

"Take it like a good little doll you are yeah?" He teased while moving his hip in a circular motion, feeling your walls clenching him. His vein didn't fail to hit that one spot inside of you as well, making you see the stars. Just as you were so drowned in the way he used you as his fleshlight, the two priests poked your cheeks with the tip of their cocks, ""Don't forget about us as well.""

You gave both tips a kiss before both of your hands pumped their shafts, it excited you with the thought of having to suck something that couldn't even fit your mouth, let alone let it abuse the back of your throat.

Brother Stefan pulled your head to his cock without any warning, pushing the tip of his cock into your lip, prodding your lip to open and suck it. And you did so, taking half of his length that made you gag while your hand diligently worked on Noel's cock. Noel didn't say much about it as he rested his hand on the couch, watching your body twitch every now and then. Just as Erickson increased his pace, you started to slack off from your duty with the other 2 priests.

"Ah? That's no good."

That was his only warning before Brother Stefan slammed his cock into the back of your throat. Noel looked like he was about to bark at him again but decided to bite his tongue back.

"You," he slammed, "are not supposed," you tried to breathe whenever he pulled away, "to play favorite," he slammed back, "not when there are 2 people assaulting you on all ends right now." you choked out another gag, spit dribbling down from the corner of your lip.

Something sounded odd but you were too wasted to notice it.

The abuse on your mouth didn't stop until his grip around your hair tightened, his cock stayed still in your mouth before it shot his load into you. You could feel how warm it was, flowing down into your throat like a running tap water. You gagged at the intrusion, causing him to hold you still rather than letting you breathe.

Noel's hand went to stroke your hair, encouraging you silently with his touch as your hand gripped his shaft tightly until Brother Stefan let you go. You coughed out the load that you didn't swallow, catching any air for your abused lunge.

Noel's hand didn't stop patting you, and so was Erickson hammering his cock inside you. You could see the second winner of this race, Erickson. He was just as close as Brother Stefan was, evident by how much his cock was twitching inside you before he cursed under his breath.

"Fuck-!"

And so he came without any warning, painting your insides white with his load as he put you still in his hold. His face was decorated with a blush that was just as red as his hair. Erickson was no doubt, the most vocal one among them 3, shamelessly letting his moan ring the whole room.

When he finished his show, he pulled himself out from you, his cum dripping out from your pulsating hole, feeling empty the moment his cock was pulled out.

Noel frowned again, lifting your face to meet his before he slammed his lip into yours, not minding how pathetic your state was in their eyes. His kiss was passionate and gentle, almost comforting you with the idea of a romantic scene from a movie, except that you were drenched in cum.

Erickson let his brother do so, watching his jaw tighten as his hands held you still on the spot, not allowing you to pull away.

Both audiences were watching the two of you made out, his cock was leaking pre-cum as he was the only one left unsatisfied. The kiss ended and was exchanged with his hands pleasuring you again. The cum was pushed and pulled out as he fingered you, the other hand going in a circular motion on your sex.

Your legs shook in pleasure as he devoted himself to you, wasn't he mad at you?

"You haven't come yet, come on doll, cum for me."

He increased his pace, feeling your insides clenching him while your whole body shuddered. Noel knew exactly what buttons to press to make the knot in your stomach snap. And it was proven by how you came with your nails digging into his arm, mouth babbling his name like it was some kind of mantra.

It smeared his robe but he paid no mind to it. You could have sworn his blush crept once he saw how wasted you are, dumbstruck by pleasure. He pumped his cock as he smooched your face, the tip making contact with your skin out of desperation.

Your hand went to rub his thigh, trying to ease his tensed muscles down only to have it react otherwise. His cock twitched and he increased his pace, hoping to finally be able to snap the knot coiling inside his stomach.

And it snapped the moment you kissed his tip eagerly, giving it kitten lick while mumbling a little thank you.

His body jolted forward with both of his hands resting on your shoulder to hold himself still. He was never the vocal one but you could hear how he grunted. He snapped his eyes toward you and realized how his cum painted your adorable face. He instantly wiped it away with his robe while stuttering out apology.

"And here we thought you were still mad at dolly ~"

"Turns out you are as weak as ever huh?"

"Shut up!"

A bang cut their dispute in half.

"Why is the door locked???? Heyyyy! Open the door for me! Mister Erickson, are you there???" Brother Jordan rang as he slammed his fist onto the door.

Noel immediately regained his composure while motioning the other two with a shush, "We are in the middle of a confession right now."

"Why not do it in the confession box???"

"Cuz it's much more comfortable here" Brother Stefan added while Erickson cackled to himself, "to fuck."

Noel whacked his brother before talking back to Brother Jordan, "Can you get us 3 bottles of holy water as well?"

"3? How about me-"

"I don't think dolly needs it~ dolly has always been pure, no matter what happened, right?" Erickson beamed as his fingers pinched your nipple, earning a choked whine from you.

While the four of you couldn't see what was beyond the door, Brother Jordan was holding the cross of his necklace with a blush creeping on his fair face.

"Understood, father."

He took 4 bottles of holy water in the end.

Afternotes:

POLL (vote for your favorite 🔫, it's free.99!!) CRACK!

Also did anyone notice that Erickson didn't lock the door yet it was locked in the end? It had something to do with Erickson's identity~

#yandere male #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere scenarios #yandere x you #yandere imagines #male yandere #yandere insert #yandere oc #yandere headcanons #yandere works #yandere smut #yandere writing #reader insert #x reader #oc #x gn reader #yandere priest #yandere harem #Erickson the Chosen #Noel the Unbent #Caelus the Henchman

[etheries1015]

Hello! I love the way you write! Would I be able to request the reactions of some of the twst boys to MC telling them they snore (whether it's true or not)? I think Malleus, Riddle, and Azul would have fun reactions, but anyone you feel like writing would be great! Thank you!

Thank you for the compliment heuheu... much appreciated <3

When they snore

Featuring: Malleus, Riddle, Azul, Rook, Vil

General warnings: Gender neutral reader

Malleus

The moment you told him he snores, he was concerned. Was he troubling you with his sleeping habits? Were you unhappy sleeping with the fae because of this, to the point where it was noticeable? The moment the words left your mouth, he began to word vomit.

"Is that an issue? Is my snoring preventing you from getting a night of good rest? I...Suppose I could sleep elsewhere if it will grant you a full night of sleep.." Que him going down a rabbit hole of solutions, you couldn't get a single word in. Eventually, it came time for classes to begin, to which you hadn't the chance to explain your statement to the panicked fae.

When night fell and it was time for bed, his tail swayed sadly as he stood in the doorway. "I suppose I shall sleep out here, my love," He said, as lightning of vibrant green flashed outside your window.

As he turned his back and began to sulk away, you quickly ran up behind him with a bear hug.

"Malleus, would you stop and listen to me for a second?" You laughed, "When I said you snore, I was going to tell you it was cute. Like an animal snoring lightly. You seem so at peace curled up in bed with your light snoring..."

The lightning went away as fast at it had came, and you felt his tail wrap around your waist as he turned to face you, arms pulling you close.

"Ah...ahem. I apologize for my unbecoming behavior before, then. I...was rather saddened at the thought I caused my beloved to lose well-needed sleep."

He's never been called cute before, but he's also never slept in the same bed with another person. So I suppose there's a first for everything <3

Riddle

Snores like a cat. The first time you had slept in the same room, the first thing you noticed was his high-pitched yet soft snores that were short and far between.

The morning you woke up, the first thing you said was; "Did you know you snore?" Riddle blinks at you a couple times before hitting you with his annoyed face (you know the one.)

"Snoring is perfectly normal," He told you, "It's caused by the rattling and vibration of tissues-"

You got a lecture on the scientific reasoning behind snoring. When he finished defending the nature of his sleeping habits, you finally hit him with the "You snore like a little cat! It's cute!"

His face turns as red as his hair, as always when he becomes flustered.

"W-w-wha- a cat?! How dare you compare me to a cat! I..I am not a cat..."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything.." You seemed pretty guilty about upsetting him, he muttered "I suppose I'll let it go..." and moved on.

All in all, as long as you aren't losing sleep because of him, he will forgive you for your previous teasing statements. However, from that day forward, you have noticed his ears take a rosy hue with shy glances your way before he heads to bed...

Azul

"Did you know you snore? Pretty loud, too. Is that like...a merman thing?"

His face turns red IMMEDIATELY. He was so embarrassed. The first time he allows someone to be near him in such a vulnerable state, and he blows it by being a snorer. A loud one, at that.

"Snoring is not common for merfolk! Being under the sea, most don't struggle with such a thing...but I would say being above water, the air that goes through my soft palate-"

Great. Another scientific review on snoring. Only Azul, on the other hand, cannot seem to keep eye contact with you.

"Please don't tell anyone. You must sign on it!"

You spent an hour comforting poor Azul, telling him it's nothing to be ashamed of, and giving him lots of hugs and cuddles. But he still continues to insist you sign a NDA to the information you had uncovered.

He was incredibly shy about having you sleep with him again, yet you managed to convince him. Azul is much more insecure than you may think about his image, however, you always seem to break his walls down.

Although, you did notice he began to wear nose strips at night, with books on sleeping habits and potions to help with snoring...old habits truly die hard.

Give him extra cuddles for the existential crisis you had instilled in your poor octo boyfriend <3

Rook

Oh boy. You had no choice but to tell him. He snores like your average forty-year-old dad. You genuinely lose sleep over it, even waking him up

"Rook, Rook. Honey. Please. I can't sleep. Your snoring is just too much, I'm sorry."

He actually finds it kind of amusing? For some reason? He asks you excitedly to tell him more about the things he does when he's sleeping.

He didn't really take you too seriously until he noticed the physical wear and tear. The bags under your eyes...

"Mon Cheri! Your eyes...have you not been sleeping well?"

"Rook. Your snoring. It's horrendous. Please."

He spends an hour doing EVERYTHING under the sun to help his snoring, for your sake! Moving around how his bed is set up, mouth exercises, the way he sleeps...He refuses to use strips, he doesn't like how they feel, and says it prevents his senses from being at their 100%.

He finds a way to help alleviate it, and you end up investing in some sleep time headphones. You make it work, because dealing with his sleeping habits is better than sleeping without him~

Vil

"Did you know you snore?"

He stares at you with his jaw open and his eyes wide. What...what do you mean he snores when he sleeps? Does he sleep with his mouth open? Does he look utterly ridiculous when he sleeps? All of these questions he bombards you with.

"Vil! Vil. I was kidding. I'm sorry. You sleep so quietly that I have to check if you're still alive sometimes. You're like a sleeping statue of perfection."

He was not amused. He almost had a heart attack and invested in the world's most expensive treatments.

Tackles you to the bed and ruffles up your hair, laughter ensuing at your silly little prank.

"Well, it's YOU who snores, potato. You're lucky I let you sleep here and not outside like a dog," He chuckles. He says this, yet you knew he loved you too much to go a single night without you by his side.

A link to my masterlist

#twisted wonderland #Twisted wonderland X reader #twst #twst x reader #twst headcannons #Twisted wonderland headcannons #Malleus #Malleus draconia #Malleus draconia X reader #Rook hunt #Rook hunt x reader #azul ashengrotto #Azul ashengrotto x reader #Riddle rosehearts #Riddle rosehearts x reader #Vil schoenheit #Vil schoenheit X reader

[yunholuvrr]

closed doors pt.2

summary: you all engage in some,, roommate bonding.

pairing: yunho x fem!reader x yeosang

word count: 1.5k

warnings: cheating (question mark?), cuckolding, threesome, rough sex, unprotected sex, petnames, ummmm lmk if there's anything else i should tag idk what I was cooking with this one

read part 1 here

"Yeosang what the fuck are you saying?" Yunho responds first, dropping his hands from your body as if that makes the scene look any better.

"If you told me," he repeats to his friend this time, taking his cap off and walking further inside, "that you wanted to fuck my girlfriend, I would've said yes."

"What baby?" Your brain finally catches up and it's your turn to shoot him a confused look.

"Well, I would've said yes provided you were okay with it, love. Which you clearly are." He's reached the end of the bed now, head tilted in curiosity. You've never seen Yeosang mad, and even though this seems like an apt time, he's anything but.

Yunho seems to read your mind. "Are you not mad at us?"

"I probably should be," Yeosang chuckles, "but I saw this coming from a mile away." He scans the room and shuffles over to Yunho's desk chair, swivelling it to face you two. "Continue."

You and Yunho gasp in unison, and in any other situation your synchrony would've been funny. The only way to describe Yeosang's tone is dominant. It's the voice he uses when you're alone, and one glance at his crotch confirms his intentions. But Yunho doesn't know that (at least you don't think he does) and the whiplash from being caught freezes you both in place.

"Sangie-"

"I said continue," his hand smooths down his shirt and rests comfortably at the waistband of his sweats, "if you want me to forgive you, you need to put on a show."

Your gaze meets Yunho's, and when you see just how turned on being caught got him you know you have no choice. He completely relaxes beneath you, lifting his arms to rest behind his head, giving you free reign. But you still can't move.

"Princess," Yeosang brings your attention back to him, "show him what he's been missing."

The order sends a new rush of arousal through your body, rolling your hips without warning. Yunho groans under you, encouraging you to finally continue. You sit up straight, taking off your shirt and putting your body on full display for both men. The sight makes a satisfied sigh leave Yeosang's lips.

"Do you know what she likes?" He asks from the chair, palming himself over his pants.

"I don't," Yunho responds breathlessly, eyes glued to your chest as you continue to roll your hips. Some part of him in the back of his mind finds it absurd that he's about to take orders from his roommate and friend, but then again this whole situation is absurd. And he loves every single second of it.

"Her nipples are very sensitive. Not enough to make her come, but enough to hear her pretty, pretty voice," the way he talks about you as if you aren't in the room turns you on impossibly more, speeding up and biting your lip at the sensation.

"Yeah? Does your princess want my hands on her?" Yunho smirks, eyes unmoving. It's clear they're both gonna have their fun with you, whether you like it or not (you love it).

Your whimpers clearly aren't enough as Yeosang mumbles "answer him baby" before finally wandering under his sweats. You can just barely see him out of the corner of your eye, but the familiar snap of his waistband tells you he's freely stroking himself now, enjoying the show.

"Please?" Yunho's eyes finally flick up to yours at your plea, dark yet friendly. He's always had nice eyes, ones you didn't mind looking into. Has he always looked at you like this, though? Could Yeosang always tell?

Your thoughts are interrupted by a sharp pinch on your left nipple, followed by light pressure on both as Yunho works you up. His hands are big but soft, firm but gentle as he learns every dip and curve of you. Almost too gentle, and your ever observant boyfriend gets to it before you can.

"No need to treat her nicely," he huffs out. You wish it was a lie. You wish you could be offended by anything they're subjecting you to, but you can't. Yunho only hums in agreement before pulling you down by the nape of your neck, attaching his soft lips to a nipple before you can even register what happened.

"Oh my god," you and your boyfriend nearly say in unison, albeit his much quieter, as you pant above Yunho. The sensation is so overwhelming your hips come to a stop, but he quickly replaces it with deep thrusts, skin slapping skin the only noise rivaling your endless moaning.

When he's satisfied with sucking, he repositions you again to kiss you, nothing but spit and swollen lips. His hips slow almost completely, palming the flesh of your ass as he bounces you on his dick. You exchange whimpers of pleasure as he explores your mouth, swallowing his deep groan as he buries his dick in you fully, holding your hips still.

"Does my baby wanna lay down?" He whispers into your mouth, sitting up and pushing you into the opposite side of the bed before you can say yes. You let out a sigh of relief, massaging your slightly sore thighs.

"Head back doll," Yeosang orders, voice moving towards you. If you were being honest you nearly forgot he was there, but Yunho nudges you up with his own legs until your head rests just off the edge of his mattress. Your boyfriend (can you still call him that when Yunho just called you his baby?) finally appears in your line of sight, kneeling to cup your cheek.

"Tap twice if you need air," he smiles, and doesn't wait for you to respond before maneuvering his tip to your lips. You part them, letting the familiar weight of his dick slide through with ease. Yunho groans at the sight, running his own tip between your folds before thrusting into you again. The sudden movement pushes Yeosang into your throat and you nearly choke, but they give you time to control your breathing. One inhale, one exhale, and then Yunho pulls back and fills you again. He's slow at first, letting his roommate relish in the sensation of your warm mouth, rocking you gently between both men.

"Yun, look," Yeosang sighs above you, placing a light hand near your throat. He thrusts deep enough for a bulge to appear and Yunho's grip on your hips tighten so much it might leave bruises. You only have a few seconds to keep your breathing steady before the taller boy's slamming into you, knocking Yeosang even further into your throat and eliciting a groan from all three of you.

The pace Yunho sets is brutal for everyone involved, your moans completely muffled by Yeosang and the vibrations making him embarrassingly close to coming already. He only eggs you on, hand sliding down your chest to play with a nipple. You think you can hear Yunho groaning "fuck" over and over, but nothing's louder in your ears than your own cries buried deep in your throat.

Someone's hand - probably Yunho's - makes contact with your clit, rubbing in time with his strokes. It's all too overwhelming, the spit running down your face, blood rushing to your head, slick smeared on your thighs, both your friend and boyfriend buried deep inside you. The bubbling heat inside you explodes suddenly and forcefully, legs clenching around Yunho, begging him to stop. He slows only a little, still chasing his own high, pressing soothing circles into your hips as you get hit with waves of pleasure.

Before you can compose yourself you feel Yeosang twitch inside you, hot strings sliding down your throat smoothly. You swallow around him, making him whimper above you before finally pulling out. He leaves a chaste kiss on your lips as if he didn't just fuck your throat raw, holding your head in his hands as support.

"So perfect for me," you hear Yunho grunt, thrusts getting sloppy, "take us both so well, don't you pretty?" When you finally blink enough tears away to see clearly, the vision before you is godly. He pulls out completely to release on your stomach, one hand pumping himself clean, head thrown back in ecstasy as he moans your name. It's like music to your ears, and you swear you hear Yeosang sigh pleasantly along with you.

"How are you feeling baby?" He wipes a trail of spit from your cheek as Yunho pulls you fully back onto the bed, collapsing next to you.

"'m great," you mumble, one hand tangled in his hair as another reaches for Yunho's touch. You all stay like that for a while, Yeosang stroking your hair and Yunho playing with your fingers as you catch your breath. The calm finally brings you back to your senses.

"Do you forgive me?" You look up at your boyfriend with nervous eyes, still unable to read his expression.

"If you answer this one question for me," he leans down to your ear, lips grazing your lobe.

"Yes, baby?"

"Who fucked you better?"

#yunho x reader #yunho smut #yunho scenarios #yeosang x reader #yeosang smut #ateez x reader #ateez smut #yeosang scenarios

[night-market-if]

Spoiler Ask

So I'm going to address it all here under the cut because I've gotten a few asks in that are pretty similar and I'm sure I'm going to get more. So I thought instead of answering the same thing over and over, I'd just do a response below. Warning, spoilers for the end of book 1.

Full disclosure. I am sick. We are going through a lot of family things at the moment. My patience is probably thin.

For everyone that says MC is already too forgiving of Milo. Milo has not even come into the story yet. You've only observed memories of him. If you feel like you need an inner dialogue to tell you how angry you are over this "betrayal" or "death", I don't know what to say here. Because MC is literally just observing things at the moment. Any options that have been put forth to comment on Milo and what has happened, have been more to lay ground work and to also give a scope of the type of emotions that will be offered in the game. But literally, Milo has not even shown up yet into the story in a real capacity. So please stop sending me asks about how you are upset that MC has "forgiven" him because there has literally been no real interaction between Milo and the MC.

As for this betrayal and death thing. I am going to state this now for those who aren't going to like where my story is going so you don't need to read if you don't want to. As the Night Market, you knew you were going to die. You gladly came down and wanted to experience death. You looked at what Milo (a non magic user) was doing, and said "hey, this would be a cool experience" and then you came down here. So, yes, you are going to feel the full range of emotions that come with it. But you are also going to need to take some personal accountability for your actions. That is what is going to be explored in this book. An entity that didn't realize what emotion actually meant, came down thinking it wasn't going to be a big deal to die, and it turned out it was a big deal. A big fucking deal, in fact and that by doing so, they actually hurt people they loved. So, don't forgive Milo. I'm not forcing anyone to. But, I will not be writing an MC that puts all the blame on him. Because guess what? The Night Market would have died if he didn't do what he did. So, everyone also saying that he killed the MC? No, he literally saved the MC and billions of people. And I don't care what way you spin it? One person is never worth a billion souls. And with the MC being someone that literally cut themselves open over and over again to save most of the people living within the world, I would think they would probably not be too keen on Milo sacrificing them so they could die together in some bullshit Romeo and Juliet act.

Now, I am all for exploring how an MC comes to terms with the feeling of betrayal along with the feeling of needing to take responsibility. I am all for exploring an MC that goes "holy shit this emotion thing is way bigger than I thought and I'm angry and confused". I'm there for it. I'm excited to write it. But, I will not be writing a willfully ignorant MC that doesn't take into account that they did this to themselves as well. And yes, if you choose to not acknowledge it in game, others are going to acknowledge it for you. If you want to not read because you can't become a villain, rock back and forth in a corner and weep, or violently get mad at someone who saved the world? That's cool. I'm not offended by someone not reading it. Anyone coming into my ask box and saying "I just am not going to read now because you aren't doing xyz" I wish you a good night and hope you find something else for you because there are thousands of stories out there.

I am not interested. Nor will I ever be interested. In writing a story where I add to the plague of ignorance that is this world. Aren't we kind of all struggling enough with that in our own lives? MC is a being of compassion. They will always be a being of compassion. That is going to shift and change based on circumstances and there are going to be moments where that compassion can fall into question. When it comes to Milo, it is going to be a messy bit of confusing emotions because there is so much more than just the black and white strokes of "OMG he killed me" that seemed to be the rhetoric on here. Now, you don't want his character around? Alright. Other than when you have to see him for Gatekeeper purposes, you probably won't.

To all of you guys complaining or sending me ask after ask stating how you don't like what I am doing. I am going to tell you this and it will not ever change. If you don't like reading this, then don't read. I am not here to write a story for you specifically. You don't like the direction of a work and can't ever broaden your scope of fiction to give it a shot? Then please don't. But to have this kind of messages coming through when literally we are a chapter in? Seriously. The instant gratification is bullshit. I'm going to suspect this is coming from the younger half of my audience who is way too accustomed to a confirmation bias internet algorithm and who has had a very small scope of real life. This is of course not all of the younger crowd but it's starting to seem like a pretty good amount.

I love having conversations with everyone. My discord is always open but most of you anons hide because you are far too scared to come at me with your user name or engage in a conversation feed where more than just me can answer. I mean, you guys send me asks, citing others user names, to call them out through me. It's laughable at this point.

I love having discourse with all of you but I'm not going to keep answering the same thing over and over again and justifying my work when it doesn't need to be justified. This is a small little bit of fiction in a vast sea.

If I sound pissed, it's because I am at this point. And I'm sure I'll get more asks in that are stating they are jumping ship or that they are disappointed in me or what not. I'll delete them and move on with my evening.

To all of you who are here for the ride and just want to experience what I'm writing? Thank you. Fiction is just meant to be a form of entertainment. I am not writing anything profound. To anyone that is looking for something more, move on. I'll see everyone who wants to get mad or saying I'm too harsh, in my inbox, I am sure. Thank god you can block anons.

#the night market #interactive fiction #answering your asks #writers rant #i'm done with this shit guys

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

How would the male companions go about helping/comforting a tav who’s “monthly visitor” came to town during their journey??

A/N: The timing of this ask is impeccable because guess what I just got? Lol. But seriously I would be mad as hell in the 5 or 6 days I’m supposed to stop my mind flayer parasite AND save the universe I ALSO had to deal with cramping and bleeding. Nu-uh. Nope. Sign me the fuck out. Goodbye cruel world, I would be DONE. 

TW: Mentions of Menstruation; Blood 

Tried to keep this Tav as Gender Neutral as possible so that it could apply to anyone who menstruates.  <3 

Please Like & Reblog! 

Male BG3 Companions Helping Tav w/ Their Period

⭐ Astarion: 

He probably notices it before Tav does

Of course, he offers to help “clean up” ;) (this may or may not get him a kick in the balls)

No, but seriously, if he and Tav are in a relationship, he’d have no qualms going down there himself every so often to “alleviate” some symptoms. That is, of course, if Tav would go for that kind of thing. Astarion won’t keep pushing it if Tav says “no”. He respects the hard boundaries Tav gives him. 

Of course, he teases Tav a bit. Not horribly, and it’s all in good fun. But enough to let Tav know that this matter doesn’t disgust or upset him in the slightest. It’s blood for devil's sake! What creature would be better prepared to handle it than him?

If any of Tav’s clothes end up stained or they end up bleeding through them, Astarion has just the thing to take the stains out. Turns out, knowing how to get blood out of most fabrics is quite beneficial knowledge in the vampire community. Plus he has an instinct for knowing where the best tailors and seamstresses in Baldur’s Gate are. Should Tav need an emergency change of clothes, he knows just the place! 

Then again, Astarion himself has no problem with the blood stains. After all, they’re traveling around killing monsters for gods sake! If anyone has a nasty comment about how much blood either he or Tav is drenched in, they better be damn quick on their feet. His arrows can shoot pretty far. ;P

As far as cramps or pain goes, if his previous, ahem, suggestion was shot down, he’ll make sure Tav takes a moment here and there to rest. He might even bother Gale, demanding some sort of heat pack. Scratch that. He’s most definitely harassing Gale for some sort of heating pack spell. 

If Gale refuses, he might even try and figure out how to fix one himself. Granted fire and vampires aren't the best of friends, but Tav is the only one in the last two-hundred-plus years to see him as a person. A little scorching here and there means nothing if Astarion can let Tav know how much he values them. 

🔮 Gale: 

He’s clueless, okay? Tav would have to outright tell him. I mean yes, he was raised by a single mom, but she didn’t exactly share the details of this stuff with him. And it never came up all the years he was with Mystra because goddesses don’t exactly reproduce the way other Faerun humanoids do! Please forgive him, he really does want to learn.

He immediately offers to find a spell or potion to either pause or skip this one altogether. He gets that Tav may want to opt out of dealing with it for the time being, seeing as the two of them have much more pressing matters to attend to. 

He’ll cast it himself if Tav wishes. Or he’ll find another trustworthy wizard to recommend. Although he does prefer to do it himself, he understands Tav might be uncomfortable with the thought of their new partner doing such a thing for them. His entire life has been spent studying magic, so of course he immediately thinks to use that to remedy any problem Tav has. 

Nevertheless, should Tav choose to deal with it in the old-fashioned non-magical way, he’s perfectly accepting of that as well. He’ll enquire about which local herbs are suitable for such applications, possibly even soliciting the help of an herbalist or surgeon. 

Gale wants to give Tav as many options for comfort as possible. If Tav’s concern is about heavy bleeding, he looks for answers on natural remedies to lighten the flow. Or he may even speak with a midwife about the best clothes and absorbent materials to use in the coming days.  

As awkward as he can be in social situations, he’s oddly great in this endeavor. He treats it the way he would a Weave experiment- with an open mind and curiosity. At the end of the day what matters is Tav knows how much Gale admires and respects them. And that he doesn’t think of them any less for having this bodily function. If anything, he admires Tav more for being so forthcoming. It’s an ask that actually strengthens his and Tav’s relationship. 

🗡 Wyll: 

Wyll probably shies away from it the most. It’s not that he doesn’t want to help Tav in any way he can, it’s just that he’s a gentleman, and to his knowledge, speaking of certain subjects with the one you like, isn’t something a well-behaved gentleman would do. That being said, a true gentleman is always prepared to put away their discomfort in order to aid their friends, so that’s exactly what he does. 

He enlists the help of Shadowheart almost immediately. He knows realistically, there are others he could ask (midwives, doctors, healers), but Shadowheart is an ally and a Cleric to boot. So her skills as well as her knowledge may very well come in handy. 

He’ll go along with whatever Tav decides, but he, like Gale, recommends Tav either suspend or skip this round. He thinks it wise to have all their wits about them for the battles ahead. With demons like Mizora and Raphael running about, none of them can afford to get distracted. Again, if Tav chooses to push through it, he’ll be kind and supportive, and request Shadowheart’s healing in subduing some of the more troublesome symptoms. But deep down, he’s happier should Tav decide to use magic or spells to resolve the issue for the time being. 

And then, Wyll goes all out in preparation for the next one. Once their fight is won, he can turn his attention back to his family- his Father, and of course, Tav. He makes sure his family home has a room for them, customized in many ways to Tav’s liking. Wyll has their favorite color blanket, a soft pillow, their favorite flavor tea in an enchanted flask to keep it just the perfect temperature… the list goes on and on. 

He loves Tav so much. He just wants them to be comfortable, and to feel safe to express whatever feelings they have. After all, Tav is the best thing to ever happen to him. 

🌱 Halsin: 

The nice thing about him being ‘one with nature’ is that he has no unease regarding the subject. He is an archdruid, and some three-hundred years old at that- believe me, there’s very little Tav’s body could throw at him that he’s not ready to receive. 

Out of all the companions, Halsin is the one most likely to not immediately suggest using magical means to pause or skip it. Instead, he has more natural aids at the ready- herbs, teas, heat packs, massages, and well, yes, even that. ;)

The difference between Halsin suggesting it and Astarion suggesting it, however, is that Halsin’s motivations are more focused on what he can do for Tav and their body; they’re not based on the idea of mutual satisfaction. Halsin has had countless lovers and years to understand pleasure. He knows you take turns giving, and he’s well very versed in that. 

Or if Tav isn't up for that, he'll offer to shift into a cat and rest on their abdomen, using his body heat to lessen Tav’s cramps. 

He’s also the most ‘normal’ when it comes to continuing their journey. He won’t make a habit of fussing over Tav unless they specifically request him to do so. Periods, however annoying and painful, are a part of life, of nature. Halsin believes it best to learn how to accept nature, and live in harmony with it, rather than try and prevent it. 

If Tav does want to explore other means of stopping this particular cycle, however, Halsin will help them any way he can, even if he doesn’t think it very wise to mess with the flow of nature like that. As a druid healer himself, he knows a few things or too about reproductive spells. He can make it so the symptoms lessen, or temporarily subside until their perilous journey has come to a close. 

Halsin may not want to settle for a single lover, but out of all of them, Tav seems to shine the brightest. He would do anything within his power to aid them. 

Bonus! 💪 Minsc (and 🐹 Boo!): 

He offers to fight it lol. Just straight up. 

“What is this thing causing you stress? Tell Minsc where it is so he can destroy it for you!” 

Boo basically has to be the one in charge of the situation, but then again, what’s new? 

Boo finds the supplies Tav might need, and directs Minsc to them. Boo also directs Minsc towards either Shadowheart or Halsin, because they’re better suited for dealing with these sorts of things. 

Once Minsc understands what Tav meant, he apologizes with a bouquet of wildflowers he picked. 

And by ‘picked’ I mean mostly smooshed before ripping their roots out of the ground.  

He's really trying okay, give the man some credit.

And give Boo treats to thank him for his service.

#astarion x tav #gale x tav #wyll x tav #halsin x tav #bg3 x tav #baldurs gate imagine #bg3 imagine #bg3 #hc #tw: periods #tw: blood #tw periods #tw blood

[sparklingchan]

The way I love you || Lee Minho (Stray Kids)

Pairing: Reader(fem.) X Lee Know

Word count : 4k+

Warnings : Sexual implications, making out, prostitution, mentions of alcohol, mentions of death, cuss words.

Genre : Romance, angst, royal AU, suggestive.

Description: He was a prince, bound by his duty. She was a harlot, longing for someone to love her truly. In stolen moments beneath the moonlit city, they dared to dream of a love meant to be.

A/N : HELLO MY TUMBLR FAM! I'm back again with the Royal fics haha. And this time it's my boi Lino<3 I hope y’all like this! It's one of my favorites!

And as I promised, I'll make a masterlist for all the Royal fics. Here is the link. Do check out the other fics in this series(the stories are not interrelated)!

Minho hates coming to the main market; he hates the sticky workers bumping into him, he hates the smell of burnt meat, he hates the sound of noisy instruments people play in the name of music.

The only things he does like about the market is the wine, and you.

"Here for y/n again, my Prince?" One of the courtesans-Taylor- asks him just as he enters the tavern. She wears the brightest of lipsticks and smells like jasmine.

"I'm here for the wine." He says, which is only half a lie.

"As you say, my prince," Taylor giggles, "Your y/n is on the third floor as always. She hasn't had any customers today."

He walks the flight of stairs without breaking sweat and knocks on your door, excitement bubbling inside him.

The door opens and he catches a whiff of your rose scented perfume.

"Well, hello there," you smile at him, "Long time, huh?"

He chuckles, "It's only been three days, y/n."

You pull him inside by his collar, shut the door behind him and immediately draw your mouth to his.

You'd missed him, clearly.

In your dark lit bedroom, many men entered everyday for the purpose of their pleasure. But Minho was the only who entered this room everyday only to please you.

"Excited, aren't we?" He asks you when you push him onto the bed and climb over him, "I missed you, y/n."

You kiss him again; this time with more force, more passion and a lot more tongue. He reciprocates your action with equal enthusiasm.

As the night grows colder and darker, you find yourself cuddling with the man under your quilt. The love bites on both of your bodies barely visible under the light of a single candle.

"I wonder what magic keeps me coming back for more everyday. " Minho says softly, his fingers playing with your hair.

"Oh, does the 'Perfect Prince' not want to be seen in a whore's bed? Does it embarrass him?" You ask, playfully.

His mouth twists into a smirk, "Never. Not even in a thousand years."

He kisses you again and again and again until the last candle dies out and the quilt finds its place in some corner of the floor.

*

"Taylor, it's too early to be bothering me with customers!" You yell first thing in the morning, still sleepy and still cold from the absence of Minho's body against you.

"Y/n, it's not a customer. I need to talk to you." She yells back, "Open the door."

Groaning, you push yourself towards the door.

"What is it?"

Her face lacks the usual cheerfulness. She looks grim. Sad, almost.

"Minho didn't wanna wake you up," she pulls an envelope from her pocket, "He asked me to give you this."

"Okay. I'll read it later." You mutter. It's not unusual for Minho to deliver love letters for you sometimes. What's so special about this one?

"Y/n, read it." Taylor says, "Now."

There's an underlying urgency in her words that she tries to mask but doesn't escape your notice.

You walk back to your bed and open the letter.

Hi, y/n.

This is probably the last time that I'm writing to you. I feel sick even just at the thought of being without you but I have to do my princely duties now.

I'm getting married to Princess Sophie soon. My father commands it.

Y/n, I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me someday. I really meant it when I said I loved you.

Minho.

Inside the half empty envelope are a few coins of gold.

He paid you. For sleeping with him. For the first time ever.

It's as if the air is forced out of your lungs. You find it hard to breathe, hard to keep your eyes open, hard to even comprehend Taylor's questions.

You're not even in that room anymore.

You are by the river at midnight, with Minho. He'd set up a fire and covered the both of you with a quilt while he sung a soft melody.

You are in the rain, shouting profanities at each other. That was the day when he first told you he loved you.

You are at the tavern's terrace, kissing him for the first time.

You are at the Royal Palace. That's the day he first sees you, bold and loud, not afraid to say 'no' to sleeping with his monstrous father.

You are at the main market, buying a new pair of earrings when an injured Prince shows up at the shop. That's when you first see him.

You only had one regret at present.

You never got to tell him how much you loved him.

*

"Y/n, I know you're grieving but you cannot refuse customers anymore. You know this is what brings food to your table!" Taylor wraps a shawl around your half naked frame, "You always knew Minho could not just leave the palace and come live with you in this brothel, didn't you?"

You'd had another episode today; screaming and punching a customer while he tried to take your clothes off.

That's three days in a row.

If Taylor hadn't been there, the boss would have killed you with his own bare hands.

"I know," you say, "But I just...can't. I cannot bring myself to accept the fact that he burnt down the past year to the worth of a few coins. I have no lust for gold. I have no desire for a family, especially when my own father sold me here. I only loved him and now, he's fucking gone."

Taylor rubs your shoulders gently.

"Y/n, I know. But you have to get yourself together or you will only hurt yourself." She replies, "For all I know, he could be already married now. Sticking his fucking tongue in Sophie's mouth."

You look up at her.

"What do you mean? His wedding is today?" You ask.

She nods, "The city has been decorated like never before."

You force yourself out of her embrace and rush towards your cupboard.

"What are you doing, y/n?" Taylor asks.

"Going to crash a royal wedding."

*

Minho has developed a habit of looking for your eyes everywhere he goes. It's not a good one, but he can't seem to get rid of this habit.

And on his wedding day, as he stands at the alter, holding his fiancé's hand while the priest talks about loving, cherishing and honoring Princess Sophie for life, he cannot stop himself from looking for you in the sea of people.

Rich and powerful people from all over the world are present in the hall but somewhere in between these people, he sees a glimpse of someone he knows. Too well, in fact.

"Y/n?" He whispers to himself, heart pounding against his chest.

"Minho, are you alright? Your hands are getting sweaty." Sophie whispers but he just shrugs, his eyes glued to you.

As were yours, to his.

You didn't think he'd notice you amongst the velvet clad aristocrats but he did. And you wish he hadn't.

The bride and groom exchange wine glasses and have a sip from it.

"If anyone has any objections to this holy matrimony, speak now. Or hold your peace forever." The priest announces and the room goes quiet.

Of course no one would object to this wedding.

No one except you.

Minho sees a single hand raised among the crowd.

"Yes, miss?" The priest says.

"How could the prince marry another woman when his child grows inside me? What about the seed that he left behind? If I choose to give birth to this child, will it be your successor, my prince?"

Minho feels the blood drain from his face.

"You! How dare you?" Minho screams at you, his heart breaking into a million pieces. He would never speak to you in this way, but he has to. To protect you from this mess you'd created, he must be harsh.

He is the prince and he will be safe but you, they wouldn't spare you.

"How dare you?" You yell back, eyes bloodshot, "Do you think a few coins could make up for what you did to me?"

"Quiet! You whore! Dare you to disrupt a royal wedding with false accusations?" The king-Minho's father finally speaks. "Guards! Take her to the guillotine and bedhead her!"

"Father, no! I will deal with this in my own way." Minho says, almost losing his calm. "Guards, take the woman to the dungeons."

Your tears roll down your cheeks and you quickly rub them off with your hand as the guards take you down to the dungeons. You're sure he's gonna get you killed.

You take one last glance at the man you love and smile at him.

So long, Minho.

*

The wedding is called off and Princess Sophie storms out of the wedding hall along with her father. Of course, Minho's father was furious.

"I will kill her. I will kill her with my bare hands!" The king slams his fist against the table, "She ruined everything! Everything!"

"Father, please calm down." Hyunjin-Minho's younger brother says. "We have to think of a way to make up with Princess Sophie and her family."

"He's right. Being angry won't solve our problem." Minho says, twirling the wine in his glass, a playful smile on his face.

The king glares at his eldest son, walks toward him and smashes the glass from his hands.

"How dare you sit in my room, relaxed as ever, while you've fucked up so bad?" He yells, " You slept with a common whore, impregnated her and I have to suffer for it?"

Minho wants to defend himself but he knows it's of no use when the king raises his fist in the air and punches right at Minho's nose.

Minho smells the blood before he sees it.

Hyunjin tries to stop the king and mouths at Minho, leave now.

Minho does as he is told.

That night, as he cleans the blood from his face, he finally let's himself relax a little.

Today was a blunder, a total disaster but at least he didn't have to marry some other woman. He couldn't imagine life with a woman he didn't love. He considered himself a coward for not fighting for you enough, which is why you were in prison. Nevertheless, he swears to himself that he will save you from this mess. It didn't matter what he had to do, he would make sure you're out of prison by tomorrow.

"You're a reckless idiot, y/n." He mutters to himself, "But you're my reckless idiot."

*

You've never seen Taylor look this sad before. Her eyes are bloodshot and the tip of her nose shines red.

"I told you," she says to you, handing you some food, "I told you not to do this. Now look what they've done! Minho has you locked up and you can be sentenced to death any minute!"

"Well, it was worth a shot, really." You say to her.

Taylor snickers at your words, "Also, are you really pregnant or did you make it up to get his attention?"

You chuckle, "Of course I'm not pregnant. I just thought it would add a bit spice to the drama."

"Fine. Whatever. Just do not die on me, y/n. I swear. You're my.." Taylor sucks in a deep breath, "You're my only family. Please."

You blink your tears away before Taylor even notices. You take a spoonful of the porridge she made and stuff it in your mouth so you'd forget about her words. You're too weak for this right now.

"Y/n, just promise me-" Taylor is interrupted by the prison guard.

"Prince Minho is here to see you."

Even the porridge in your mouth does not stop your heart from aching and your eyes from tearing up.

Why is he here?

"Your majesty." Taylor greets him with the basic courtesy. You, on the other hand are looking at everything but him.

"Taylor, may I have a word with y/n alone? My guards here will take you up to my room. I have something important to discuss with you as well."

Taylor nods with a word and follows his guard.

Now it's just you and him. In a jail cell. While your heart breaks knowing he will serve you with capital punishment.

Is it the heavens punishing a common whore like yourself for loving the prince?

Perhaps.

"Y/n, are you okay?" Minho says in a soft whisper. His voice is filled with concern but you cannot look at him. Absolutely not.

If you even as much glance at those eyes you'd fallen in love with, you know you might lose all your will power.

"Fine." You reply sternly, "What do you want?"

Minho sucks in a deep breath, "I wish I had more time to explain but it'll all make sense some day, okay? For now, just trust me."

He offers you a vile of clear liquid.

"It's not anything bad, I swear. Just trust me, please. " He puts it on your palm.

His touch sends shivers down your spine.

And just like that, he turns around and walks away.

You stare at the vile in your hands and for a split second, you wonder if he'd handed you some type of poison. You wish he did.

And when you open the vile and gulp down that bitter liquid, you pray to the gods that you never wake up again because that's when your body hits the ground.

*

Hyunjin is anxious from the moment he wakes up in the morning.

He's anxious while he has breakfast, he's anxious while he avoids the eyes of palace officials to sneak into the old quarters of his mother.

He's especially anxious when he sees you lying on the bed, lips pale and stiff.

"I hope this works for God's sake." He pulls out a vile of purple liquid from his pocket and carefully, pours it into your mouth.

He curses Minho for handing him with the scariest possible task ever.

And as he paces the room, waiting for the antidote to work, he prays to every God, every spirit, every deity he's ever heard of.

Within a few minutes, much to his relief, your eyes open.

You look at Hyunjin alarmingly.

"You..You're his brother." You say, almost as if accusing him of a crime, "Aren't you?"

"Yes, I'm Hyunjin." He seats at the foot of the bed, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine. But my head hurts real bad." You reply, "Where's Minho? That bastard gave me a bitter drink and disappeared!"

Hyunjin notices your hopeful gaze go from the ceiling of the room to his face and then to his outfit. The mourning outfit.

"Why are you in mourning? And why are you wearing that badge with a dove on it?" Your voice is alarmed and you immediately sit up.

You remember Minho had once told you that the dove badge worn by the Royal family implies a death of a member of the Royal bloodline.

"Is Minho okay?" Your words are almost a whisper.

"Well, y/n, it's a little complicated, I will be honest but if you come with me now and trust me on this-"

"Why the fuck does every keep on asking me to trust them? What is going on? Either let me die in peace or let me leave this palace! I cannot take this anymore. And, for the love of God, would you tell me if Minho is okay or not?"

"He's alive." Hyunjin sighs, " Everyone thinks he committed suicide last night. The city is mourning the death of their crown prince. "

You're confused, "But he's alive, right?"

Hyunjin manages a smile, "Yes, he's alive. He staged his death and is waiting for you by the river bank. "

You jump out of the bed at once, heart pounding against your chest.

"Take me to him, please."

*

The river bank is the most beautiful place in the city, filled with shops and tourists and traders and singers and life. It's beautiful. Unlike your room in the brothel, which was as lifeless as anything could get.

The only one who made that room lively was Minho.

Minho who taught you to play cards, Minho who once beat up a customer because he was harassing you, Minho who promised he'd give anything to get you out of that hell hole.

Minho who loved you.

Now, Minho stands by a boat, wearing a straw hat and gripping his sword tightly. Taylor stands beside him, a brown package in her hands.

And when Minho's eyes meet yours, you run to him as if he'd run away if you didn't, disappear into thin air, leaving you alone in that cold dark room once again.

And oh! Minho is so warm as he wraps you in his embrace. He's warm like the sun on the coldest winter morning, warm like a cup of tea, warm like a freshly baked cookie. He's warm and he's yours.

"What..what is going on?" You sob into his embrace, "Please, will you stay with me? Minho, please?"

Minho is crying too, which is surprising because you've never seen him cry. Upset maybe , but crying never.

Yet here he is crying like a newborn baby, crying because a part of him knows he's managed to save you somehow.

"I'm not leaving okay?" He says, still crying, caressing your cheeks, "We're gonna go far from this city. We're never coming back okay?"

You can only nod as Taylor gently pats your head.

"This is a farewell gift. From me." She smiles at you, handing you the package, "It's a wedding dress that I made. I hope you can wear it when the day comes."

And you're crying again. But this time, you're crying into Taylor's embrace. It's hard leaving behind someone who loved you like a sister.

"We'll write to you. We promise. As soon as we find a proper place to stay, we will write to you both. " Minho says, to Taylor and to his brother.

"Sorry for burdening you with this country. " Minho whispers when Hyunjin hugs him, "I hope you forgive me someday."

"Bullshit. Really, I've always wanted to kill you and get this crown for myself. You only made my job easier." Hyunjin jokes, patting Minho's back.

Minho chuckles. The boatman catches his eye and points to the sun.

"We should get going now, y/n. They'll be holding a prayer in the afternoon and we cannot risk anyone seeing us before we leave."

You nod, kissing Taylor's head softly, holding her gift close to your chest.

"Do visit us sometime." You say to both of them and they nod in unison.

Minho helps you on the boat and hands a few coins to the boatman.

The soft current of the river pushes your boat farther away from the shore, Taylor and Hyunjin wave goodbye to you. You feel horrible leaving behind the city of your birth. You feel empty and cold.

But Minho wraps his arms around you and the coldness vanishes. Minho is warm, and from now on, he's only yours.

*

4 years later.

"Your baby is fucking killing me, Minho." You groan as you get up from the sofa in your bakery.

You'd been sitting and munching on cookies for way too long perhaps.

"Hey, don't curse in front of the baby." He hushes you, caressing your bump. You feel the baby kick again.

You both laugh.

"Come on." He takes you by the hand and drags you to the sofa once again, ignoring all your protests.

Ever since you'd entered the seventh month of your pregnancy, Minho refused to let you do any work. And by any, you meant any work that involved physical activity.

In the mornings, he forced you to watch him sweep the floors whilst you made him breakfast. In the afternoons, he forced you to sit at the cash counter of your bakery and watch him bake stuff tirelessly while you interacted with the customers.

In the evening, he gives you snacks while he cleans up the bakery for tomorrow.

In the night, he holds you close while he whispers sweet nothings into your ears.

It was a routine but you'd come to love this routine.

You wouldn't trade it for the world.

"What are you thinking?" He pulls you closer and plants a kiss on your lips.

"Just something. " You reply, embarrassed.

"Tell me, love. What is it?"

And how could you ever say 'no' to him if he used that tone on you?

"Well, I was thinking," you mindlessly fiddle with his fingers, "Do you ever regret giving up the throne for me? I mean, you're royalty. And here you are washing dishes and baking cookies every day. You could have lived a lavish life, you know."

You sound sad, guilty even.

Minho chuckles at you. But doesn't say anything.

Instead, he pulls your face closer and kisses you. Passionately. Softly. Lovingly.

When he pulls away, you feel breathless.

"Does that answer your question?" His sincere eyes look into yours, his hands on your belly, "I wouldn't trade this for the world."

You pull him back in for a kiss because that's all you'd ever wanted to hear.

And because Minho is warm and he smells like cookies and he's yours.

#skz scenarios #skz x reader #kpop au #kpop imagines #skz #skz minho #skz lee know #skz lino #skz fluff #skz smut #skz scenario #stray kids imagines #stray kids fics #stray kids lee know #skz x y/n #skz imagines #skz hyunjin fluff #skz au #skz royal au #kpop ff #kpop skz #stray kids x reader #stray kids smut #stray kids scenarios

[kit-williams]

Barn Anon. Pre-heresy Angron but my headcanon is the bond sort of numbs the effects of the Nails. However it’s proximity based and the moment he gets too far the Nails are back in full force. How much it numbs the Nails? Who knows! Some days it’s better, other days it’s worse.

Some days he pities you. This poor human that has to deal with him. He’s fully aware that he’s more than likely the worst guest, or rather housemate given how often he’s at your place now. Other days he’s lost in the haze of anger and fury. Then there’s the days that he feels like himself, his true self, the Angron before the Nails.

He wants to beg for forgiveness for the things he has said and done, wants to chase you off before the Nails’ influence creeps back in and consume him once more. He knows he’s a mess and he knows you deserve better. Somehow you haven’t run from him, you’re still here and patiently supporting and helping him, ever patient and kind. He has seen his World Eaters, the ones before and after this…. Heresy that they speak of.

When the Nails’ influence are at its lowest, he feels the guilt, regret and self-loathing once more. His World Eaters deserved a better Primarch, just as you deserve a better bond-partner.

DID I JUST MAKE/CONFIRM THE HUSBANDRY AU IS A FIXIT FIC?

WELL FUCK YOU I LIKE FIXING ANGRON

Angron is interested in this strange world... half successful of removing nails from his sons just getting a few out would be better then nothing at all. Given who he is and what he is... several apotocaries are joining to watch the surgery... it seems none of his apothocary sons joined him here as he is certain they are the ones to put the nails into their brothers.

He watches you knit as today is a day that they don't dig into his brain... the guilt eats at him and yet you seem to know when he is deep in his thoughts. "You nervous about Surgery Angron?" You ask looking up at him as your hands do their practiced motions.

"No." He says looking down at her. "Why do you keep me around?"

You make a dismissve noise, "Why do you say it like that? Like you're some animal unworthy of a kind hand?"

"Because I am."

"You're not. Sure you can say you don't deserve it but I'm going to overrule you on that."

He lets out a wicked noise not exactly a laugh but not something dismissive either, "Mouthy little creature aren't you?"

"I aim to please Angron."

Before he can say something a nurse walks out, "We're ready."

"I'll be nearby." You reply.

And all Angron can think is he hopes he either wakes up with less pain or doesn't wake up at all.

#warhammer 40k #space marine husbandry #space marine husbandry sentience #Angron #primarch #barn anon #tales from the barn

[hanaruri-tunes]

Degrading Leviathan (Levi x reader)

I am BACK from my uni exams, and I’m pretty sure I passed them all so please applause this genius over here. (Or don’t. That’s fine too :')

Anyway, as promised this is supposed to be the part 2 to the humiliating Leviathan fic, but it is smut so I’m pretty sure you can also read it without any prior knowledge of the other one fuehdhd Plot is not really important here after all.

⚠️ Also, if this wasn’t already obvious -> MDNI please!

If you want to read it though, here’s the first part. (Hopefully the link works.)

If you want to jump right into this one, here’s a quick summary of part 1 (or a quick reminder for those who did read it): Basically our MC here is pretty sadistic, she found some of her "belongings" in Levi’s room and understood that he was obviously using it to touch himself, she acts like she’s disgusted and disappointed in him, then makes him do some "stuff" for her so she’ll forgive him. And all the while, she’s mocking him (Levi’s into that, of course.) It ends with her revealing that she was acting and Levi is reassured (but still turned on. Yep.)

This is the direct continuation of that! Here are the warnings: praise, degradation, two dicks, a bit of petplay (dog Levi), raw, bj, usage of tail, overstimulation (and if I forgot some stuff don’t hesitate to tell me!)

MC/ Y/N is cisfemale in this one like the first part!

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Now that the charade was over, Levi kept hanging onto you as you two were making out. This might have lasted either 5 minutes or half an hour, you're not quite sure. Slowly regaining your senses, Leviathan had naturally calmed down and turned back into his usual form and casual attire… though his dicks were still hanging out of his pants. You laughed.

"Isn't it about time you put those things away?"

Leviathan chuckled nervously.

"Oh… But I-I thought we weren't done?"

…

Huh?

"Well uh, aren't you tired? You came quite a lot… Not to mention from both of them so…"

He looked into your eyes, a pitiful air hanging around him while still holding into his wish firmly.

"No… I can finally kiss you, and touch you freely and even…"

He looked down to your skirt, under which he knows how wet you had gotten after the make-out session you just had despite the fact that you had just climaxed earlier from his tongue.

"Anyway! What I'm trying to say is- I can still go on for way longer. Probably more than you think. If anything, once is quite literally nothing now that I have you. I've dreamed of this for so long♡"

You take a pause to ponder it. It’s not like you couldn’t take him but you still wondered how you should go about this since, well, he has two of them. Plus you wanted to keep things interesting and that box you had found earlier with his "filthy" belongings had some interesting costumes. You stood up, making Levi worried that you might leave only to see him cheer back up when he understood where you’re heading towards.

"You’ve got a lot of slutty outfits in there, huh?"

You take some dog ears and a tail out of it.

"Are they meant for me or for you?"

Leviathan grins at your pick, excited and eager. He reaches deeper into the box, knowing exactly the placement of each object. He could probably navigate in it even with a blindfold on. Not so shockingly, he pulls out a collar and a leash out of it.

"Whichever is fine ehe. I even got a leash to go with it so um, y'know. We can use it right away i-if you want."

Clearly, although he had said that whichever was fine, his eyes were telling another story. Anyone could’ve seen that what he truly wanted was to wear it and get ordered around by you. Not like it was hard for you to do so might as well. You gently put the ears on him.

"Try barking?"

"Woof!♡"

"Cute. You’re the dog then."

His smile widens, happy that you picked the role for him and chose the one he wanted. It takes barely a minute for him to take his clothes off, now he’s only left with the costume and his boxers that clearly outline his cocks. You take a hold of the leash, pulling him as you walk back towards the seat where both of you were making out earlier. He follows you on his hands and knees, already nailing the role. You sit while he stays on the floor.

"Sit."

He sits.

"Look down."

He looks down.

"Paw?"

He puts his hand on yours.

"Good boyyy! So smart."

You scratch him under the chin as if he’s really just a pet.

"W-woofff…♡"

He brings his face to your legs, lovingly rubbing his head and cheek against them. Both of his dicks are already hard and leaking for you, even through the boxers it’s so apparent, it’s almost embarrassing how turned on he got from being treated like an animal. Not like he minds, if that gets you to mock him he’ll take it. Actually, he’ll take anything from you, be it praise or insults.

"Aww is baby all excited to play with me? You wanna feel good inside your owner?"

He nods against your thighs, helplessly craving your touch. Babying himself up to make you feel sorry for his poor state.

"...Alright. Stand up Levia-chan, I’ll suck you off and stroke you for a minute. If you manage to hold it in, I'll let both of them inside me."

He perks up. Had the ears and tail been real, his ears would have perked up as well and the tail would be wagging. He stands up, finally speaking like a human being. That is, if we ignore the drooling and the leash you’re still holding onto.

"N-No way?! Ha… ahhh… Sorry. I’ve gotta calm down. O-Okay. One minute. One minute, you can do this Leviathan."

He mutters to himself, psyching himself up while you’re pulling half down his boxers, taking his upper dick into your mouth and stroking the lower one through his boxers with your free hand, the one that’s not holding the leash.

He keeps his eyes tightly shut, probably realizing that if he opens them and sees your cute face sucking on his gross cock he’ll ejaculate immediately. He breathes heavily and repeats "IcandothisIcandothisoneminutejustoneminutegodplease". You retain your smile, but he’s just so cute. You count up to 60 in your head, it probably wasn’t super accurate but you’re proud of his restraint regardless.

Once you stop, he slowly calms himself down and starts breathing normally again.

"D-did I make it??"

"Yeah. Despite being such a slutty dog, good job hah."

He grins at your mocking tone, enjoying it. Then he opens his eyes, his gaze goes straight to your open legs. As soon as he had calmed down, he got excited again, seeing you ready to take him fully in. He comes closer, his hard cocks hovering over your slippery pussy and ass.

His eyes go a bit crazy for a second, as if he’s in a frenzy, or hypnotized.

"Ahh… Ahh… fuck. Fuck fuck. Really? I can put both of them in?"

You chuckle at how nervous and eager he is.

"Knock yourself out."

He starts to laugh softly, exhilarated.

"Hah. Haha… Oh my god. I’ve always dreamed of shoving my disgusting cocks into your cute and pretty pussy. I’m such a lucky fucking bastard."

He firmly grabs your waist, frankly you’ve never seen him being so sure of something. He slides them in slowly, both in each hole. You squirm and whimper under his unbreakable gaze on your whole being. Your holes gladly taking him in, your soft body, your cute facial expressions as you’re feeling better and better as he’s pushing himself in, he watches all of it so closely that it almost makes you shy.

"S-Stop staring so closely you dirty mutt."

"Y-Yeah. You’re right, I’m a dirty dog~ Please abuse me with your words some more…"

Geez, this guy has a problem… A problem that you find unbearably hot and cute.

He pounds into your holes, holding your legs up from the back of your knees, pushing them upwards, near your face. All the while you’re still holding onto the leash that is strapped on his collar.

"Come on. Please please please… I’m begging Y/N! Just a little bit."

He’s already enjoying himself so much inside you yet he wants even more, he sure is spoiled. But well, you want to see him go even crazier over you. So you do as he wants.

"You absolute gross fuck. You’re more of a pig than a dog you know? I’ve never seen anyone make such an elated face while fucking someone. You should just get over with it and serve me as a sextoy."

He submerges himself in your fake disgusted face, grinning as you’re completely disrespecting him as a human being, or, well, a demonic being. Then he happily glues his body against yours, his lips near your ears as he begs for more insulting words.

"More please, embarrass me more."

Your mind is already wandering off from getting fucked so good. It’s getting harder to think as both of his dicks are pleasuring your insides, making you pump out so much of your juices, more than you ever have. Yet you somehow manage to answer his needs.

"Y-You… You’re just a gross little fuck- A lame creepy otaku with two dicks who gets off on his crush’s insulting words. You s-sure are good at acting cute and pure while all you really are is a masochistic whore- Mmh!"

You can’t see his face but you can feel him smiling and drooling against your neck and shoulders. Suddenly, the air around him turns dark as he takes on his demon form. Completely lost in his lust and pleasure.

He sticks the tip of his scaly tail into your mouth, making you unable to degrade him any further and his pace quickens. He pounds into you harder and faster, his cocks getting ready to unload themselves into your pretty holes.

"A-And yet you’re so kind that you’re letting a lame, gross and disgusting fuck like me pump both of his dicks into you and you’re wholeheartedly sucking on his monstruous tail. Aaaaahh…~ You’re so nice Y/N, I’ll be your toy all you want! Iloveyousomuch.♡ Iloveyou Iloveyou Iloveyou-"

Your mind completely goes blank thanks to all of your holes being filled by his dicks and tail, at this point, fucking him is like fucking 3 guys at the same time. And as you lose yourself, he does so as well. Emptying himself inside you, grinding on you over and over as he keeps cumming for a solid 20 to 30 seconds, you never even thought it was possible for someone to ejaculate for so long… Well he is a beast and a demon.

When he pulls out, his juices flow out of you for a while, maybe even longer than it took for him to cum since his loads have been mingled in with yours inside of you. He hurries over to his phone, taking pictures of you completely fucked out so he can use them later… Well, hopefully he won’t have to, since from now on you’ll always call for him when you need to use his dicks, right?

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Done! As usual please don’t hesitate to leave comments or some tags (or messages in my askbox if you’re shy!) This is tumblr, I can assure you no one will make fun of you or judge you, we’re all chilling in our trash here 🫰

#obey me nightbringer #obey me! #obey me smut #om! leviathan #leviathan x reader #leviathan x y/n #leviathan x mc #leviathan smut #leviathan avatar of envy #hanaruri writes

[hangmanssunnies]

Good Comes In 3

House We Share: Double Tap, Sfumato, Good Comes In 3

Summary:  You and Jake navigate what it means to spend six months apart. Then, when he does come home, you two have to evaluate precisely what feelings you have for each other and also what a future together could mean. You just aren't sure he will ever forgive you for starting a puzzle without him. 

Pairings: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Fem! Civilian! Reader, minor Javy "Coyote" Machado x OC

Word count: 34K

AO3 Link

Warnings: Angst with a happy ending, Abuse (Implied), Slow burn, routines and compulsions, Jigsaw puzzles, Rejection, Drinking, Arguments, Yearning, Deployment, communication, Fertility problems, miscarriage (discussed), menstruation (discussed and lightly described), close female friendships, Depressive episodes, PTSD, roommates to lovers, love confessions, hyper-specific!Jake, Neurodivergent coded! Jake. Please let me know if I missed any for this part; I know it is a long one.

An: Unfortunately, this last part was too long to post altogether here on Tumblr. So I have included the first half here, the rest can be read on AO3 though. My first reblog of this here on Tumblr has the other half as well. I apologize for the inconvenience.

Thank you for taking this journey with me. Thank you all for loving this version of Jake. There were so many things I wanted to include and finish off for these two. While I couldn't include everything, I hope you enjoy what I did.

Thank you so much if you take a chance to read this work. I hope you enjoy it. My inbox is always open if you want to let me know your thoughts. Reblogs with your thoughts, opinions, and tags are gold to me. I love reading through them.

"Jake looked tired. Has he told you how he's been sleeping?" Marlee asks you curiously while chatting with you on the phone. The question causes your stomach to roll in a deep dive, and it takes you a moment to find the composure to respond. 

"No, I haven't heard," you manage to tell her. Setting down the piece of fruit you had been about to eat, you lean back against the kitchen counter. 

"Ah, well, will you ask him about it whenever you next talk? He wouldn't answer Javy or me about it when we asked."

"You and Javy are joined at the hip, practically the same person sometimes. Do you find that shocking?" You ask Marlee teasingly. Marlee chuckles at your comment. Her smile betrays her true feelings, though she likes how in sync she and Javy are generally considered. 

"We are sometimes." Marlee concedes but then says frankly, "But even when Javy had his individual call with Jake, he wouldn't say. And you are the only other person I can imagine him opening up to," 

"I'll mention it next time I talk to him," you manage to say. It would just be one of the many things that you were supposed to be talking to Jake about on his deployment. It was easier to go along with their assumption than to flay your chest open and let the hurt you felt pour out. 

Sometimes it's better, easier, to keep the kind of pain you felt to yourself. Bundled close and protected. To expose it would just make it hurt all the more. The idea of anyone, especially your closest friends, knowing you weren't important enough, or you had scared Jake away, or made some other mishap was mortifying. How could you go about explaining what had transpired? You weren't sure you could explain it. Also, Javy and Marlee had plenty of other things and people to worry about without having to add you higher on their list than you were already placed. You felt bad each week when one of them called you to check in begging, sometimes demanding that you hang out with them. 

"Okay, I'll talk to you later then, babes. I love you!"

"I love you too, Marlee," you say, giving her the sweetest, kindest tone you can muster up. You end the call and walk over to the chalkboard in the kitchen. 

Jake normally would draw seasonal decorations on it, but you had cleared it to be blank for notes months ago. The only thing on the board is a list you had titled: things to talk to Jake about. You add 'sleeping habits' to the bottom and frown. Reading through the list makes tears prick at the back of your eyes, and a lump forms in your throat. You hold the eraser poised for a moment, ready to trash the entire list, but you don't manage to follow through and drop the eraser, letting it fall to the ground. 

You walk through the house, checking the locks and turning off the lights. The sadness and frustration you feel in you is still bubbling as you pass where Jake had unceremoniously left the large Juniper chest. You glare at it just like you do every night. 

The morning Jake left, he'd woken you up with his thumb tracing your pulse point. His soft mostly lidded eyes trained on you, neither of you said anything just laying there quietly memorizing the moment. Neither of you could bear to get up until after the third alarm rang. The sun still hadn't crested the horizon when Jake went to shower. While he was occupied you stole one of his large Navy shirts that had been washed so many times it was soft. You are reluctant to leave his room, but make your way to the kitchen starting some breakfast and Jake's morning tea. You were just adding the dollop of honey he likes when he came downstairs, fully dressed and ready to leave you. 

Jake thanked you sweetly, with a kiss pressed to your cheek. In the same breath he tried to steal the whisk out of your hand. You danced out of way holding the whisk out like a sword to ward him off. He had quickly grabbed the masher from the utensil jar and brandished it in response. Amusement filling his features. After a small chase around the kitchen which included a small clash of utensils, Jake got his way. You loved the way Jake's eyes crinkled and how charming his dimples and smile lines were. It was a look you almost always got anytime you let him do things for you. Jake had still let you help though, asking you to toast the sourdough bread, while he whipped the avocado, goat cheese, and honey together. Once it was the constituency he liked, Jake spread it on the toast sprinkling some sea salt on top. He made one for you as well, but you had already started cooking three eggs for him, and didn't really have an appetite. After Jake ate, you spent every minute waiting for Coyote to arrive for pick up wrapped tightly in Jake's arms.  

"There is one last thing I need before I go," Jake had said. 

"I can't give it to you this time," you said muffled, trying hard not to cry on his whites. 

"Just one smile." Jake pleaded with his large warm hand lifting your chin so he could stare at you intently again. 

"No, Jake." He frowned at your answer, eyebrows pulling tight together. 

"I suppose I've reached my limit on things I can take from you." Jake puffed out with a quiet sigh. The tip of Jake's nose had dragged softly across your forehead before pressing a soft kiss to the center. He lingered there, breathing you in.

"Thank you for everything, my sweet," Jake whispered quietly. 

Your breath hitched in your throat, and you tried to pull him as close and tight to you as possible again. Jake allowed you to hug him, but he didn't relax into the embrace like he normally would have. He was almost stiff in your hold, but one of his hands traced slowly over your back in a soothing motion. When Coyote's headlights had inevitably shown through the frosted window on the door, Jake carefully detangled himself from your arms. He lingered though practically trembling. 

"I can't do it," Jake whispered, leaving his forehead pressed to yours. 

"It's not optional, and there isn't anything Hangman can't do. Let alone something you've done before," you reassured him. It didn't seem to work as he tensed up more.

"Promise me you'll be okay," Jake had begged you. You had nodded yes in response, saying the word would have tasted too close to a lie. Jake's nose nudged yours and he asked again. The second time was much closer to a desperate demand, "promise me." 

"If you be safe," you had compromised, wanting to savor every second ticking by that you would never get back. This last time you would be in the same space sharing the same air, for an undetermined amount of time. With a resolve you knew you didn't possess, Jake mouthed the words goodbye he was so close that his lips brushed yours as he did so. With a shaky inhale, Jake stepped away from you. His first two steps hadn't hurt so much, but the third as he exited the front door took all the air with him, including the bit trapped in your lungs. It was a sense of instant emptiness you had never experienced before. Everything you wanted to do seemed impossible when you couldn't even breathe. So there was no running after him for one more stolen moment, no collapsing against the floor, sobbing until your throat was raw, no more reassuring green eyes you could look to for comfort. 

The hollow feeling that nestled into you was hard to find your balance with. You had thrown the lock on the door and stumbled through the house, ready to retreat back into Jake's bed. Well aware his scent would be gone sooner rather than later, you were determined to imprint as much of it to memory as possible. You are blindsided by pain shooting up your foot as you unexpectedly stubbed your toe. Cursing and looking down you realized there was now a new piece of furniture. Jake had left a hand made juniper chest Jake left sitting in the area between the living room and dining room. On top was a small note card with a watercolor of two very detailed puzzle pieces. 

You stare so hard at the water colored pieces trying to parse their meaning the focus of your visions started to blur. The rapid blink forced tears to lubricate the area. However, when there is one tear there are others quick to follow. Just as a tear had splashed against the edge of the card you recognized the duplicates of the last two pieces you and Jake had double tapped into your last puzzle. On the back of the card stock was the drawn design of the chest, with all of Jake's neat measurements noted. You traced over his neat handwriting, and you were quick to quell your disappointment not finding more. That confusion and disappointment was impossible to ignore when you had gone to see what was inside and it was locked, the latch refusing to open. 

Now, after 6 and ½ months of radio silence, the chest taunted you. His entire deployment, there hadn't been a single word to you. Your only source of information was occasionally hearing from Coyote and Marlee about how Hangman was doing. And there was the memory of him, a large empty house, and a locked chest that was too heavy for you to move. 

You kick the side of the chest as you walk past it. It has become a tradition for you – this small abuse of the furniture while pacing before bed was a small soothing habit that helped you work some of your worries out. Once the feeling of missing Jake had settled into a dull, steady pain there was room for anger. You were furious and the only thing you had to take it out on was this beautiful work of craftsmanship. Unshockingly, the chest had been well made – because why would Jake make something that was easy to take your anger out on. He couldn't even give you that small concession. Even though you aren't as angry anymore, kicking the chest has become a part of your nightly routine. 

The chest didn't just bother you because it was locked or a surprise gift you hadn't asked for. It also bothered you because of what it was made from. The juniper wood Jake used didn't match the boards he used for the puzzle table, which was a more common light juniper. The boards for the chest were such a deep red it looked purple. Jake made it from one of the logs that you had helped him strip. Seeing the chest felt like a reopening weeping sore; one bleeding from a formally treasured memory that was nestled close to your heart. 

…

Saturday mornings were always a wild card with Jake.It was the one day of the week you could never be 100% sure what his plans were. There were staples you could expect like his morning run, but after that who knew? Sometimes he would have plans to see his friends, other times he had a project, list of chores, plans with his "little brother", manuals to read or some other all day activity. He liked it to be all day. So Sometimes you liked to just lounge in the living room waiting to see what he was going to do before making any plans of your own. 

 "Hey, I'm going on a drive and run some errands. Anything you want me to pick up?" Jake says to you when he comes down the stairs one Saturday morning. 

"Oh, can I come with?"  

"Sure, if you want. It's going to be boring though," Jake warns you. 

"No, it won't," You protest, standing up and stretching. "I'd rather be with you. As long as you don't mind me tagging along?"

"Yeah, of course, sugar. I never mind when you tag along." Jake says with a wide smile. 

"Well, what's the errand so I know how to dress?"

"I'm going to meet an old friend." 

"Oh my god. Please be less ominous Jake"

"What would you like to hear, sugar?"

"Who exactly are we meeting?"

"We are meeting up with my friend, Jess." 

"And?"  

"And, and, and," Jake says, twirling his hand around the air before dramatically pointing to his watch. "We are already 4 minutes behind our schedule. I'll tell you right now that this is cutting into our farmers market time." "Farmer's Market is on the list?" 

"Of course it is sugar. And so is Target," Jake says in his ‘duh-voice’ that you actually hate, but also you love because it reminds you how easy this is supposed to be. How it's not supposed to be a second thought. The things you like are included and planned for without you having to ask.

You are scrambling up the stairs to get ready when Jake calls after you. "You don't actually have to rush!! I'll make up time on the road."

"You know I don't support your excessive speeding Jake!" you call back, grabbing what you thought you would need. 

"Bring socks for your heavy boots!" When you make it back downstairs Jake is tapping his pen aggressively against a notepad. 

"What am I going to need boots for?" You ask him suspiciously while going through your items. 

"Do you want car snacks? I packed some, and we can always stop to pick something else up." Jake asks you glancing up from his paper. 

"We don't have to have snacks; I know you don't like eating in the truck." 

Jake just shrugs and opens the door to the garage for you. "It's not a big deal, I'll add the car wash to my list for tomorrow." 

"I also got your truck slippers so you don't have to wear your boots for the drive," Jake tells you. It's so sweet you want to grab him in a tight hug. You squeeze your hands tight instead, waiting for the urge to pass. Jake helps you up into the passenger side of the truck. Just as he said, the soft fuzzy blanket you like, and the slippers Jake got you are laid out waiting. Jake helps you out of your boots and into the slippers, setting them in the back seat for later. Once you are fully settled and buckled, Jake closes your door. He checks that the garage door is locked before jumping in the truck himself. 

"Was I quick enough for you not to aggressively speed?" you ask when Jake gets into the driver's side and checks his mirrors. 

"I would hardly call it speeding," Jake complains. 

"It's a number above the speed limit sign. Therefore, it's speeding." You say, explaining it.  

"I literally fly ten times as fast as car speeds. Well, more like 9.9 but still when you round up. It's ten." Jake responds, 

"That is no excuse to be going 120 miles an hour, Jake." You say while rolling your eyes. 

"I'm just saying. I am perfectly capable of controlling a fast vehicle," he argues. 

"That's fine, and I am not invalidating that. However, you know just as well as I do, that everyone else doesn't have that same ability."

"You are so sassy!" Jake teases, clearly deciding to let the faux argument go. 

"I'm the sassy one? Sure," you say sarcastically, drawing out the word. However, you also decide to let it go. Instead you enjoy the start to your drive, getting music going and adjusting the temperature controls until they are just right. 

"So," you say after a bit, drawing out the word. "What are we driving to do?"

"It's nothing," Jake responds with a shrug. 

"Really? Nothing is the justification to wear the work boots you got me?"

"You can't live with a bit of mystery, can you?" Jake asks, but there is affection laid into his words. 

"No," You concede with a joking sigh, "which is what makes you so infuriating sometimes."  

"I do strive to live as a man of mystery," Jake says amused.  

"Oh really, is that what your next move is? Retire, so you can become an American James Bond?" You tease him. 

"I'll admit it. You got me figured out. What gave it away?" Jake asks jokingly but not as quiet as bright as before. You shoot him a look, but his smile is still firmly in place. 

"Honestly?" You ask him hesitantly. 

"Yes Ma'am. They do say honesty is the best policy."  

"It's the fact that you refuse to grow facial hair. I'm convinced that it's because you want to save that for a disguise." You say, almost giggling trying to picture Jake with a beard or mustache. You expect Jake to laugh too, but he doesn't. After a slightly too long pause, he forces out a strangled laugh, and you realize that you've misstepped somehow. 

"Talk about it or leave it?" You offer trying to sound natural and keeping the pushiness you felt gnawing on you out of your voice. Jake takes a deep measured breath, exhaling out slowly through his nose. He drums a staccato on the steering wheel before responding. 

"Can we leave it please?" Jake eventually requests. 

"Facial hair or James Bond?" You ask, wanting to clarify. 

"Both, please." 

"Can do." 

"Thank you," Jake breathes quietly. Then he offers his right hand to you across the center console. You only wait a moment before slipping your fingers to slot in with his. He squeezes your hand affectionately and you both seem to take a deep breath to try and ease some of the uncomfortable tension. Jake's thumb tracing softly against your skin.  

"I'll tell you if you really want to know," Jake says a few miles later while his eyes stay trained on the road. You think about whether you really want to press him for details. As much as you want to know, you don't want to ever force Jake into sharing something with you if he isn't completely comfortable with it. 

"Nope, it's fine. Keep your mysteries, Hangman, I'll find out eventually." You finally respond, pulling Jake's hand up to press a kiss to the back of it, making sure he understood your innocent intentions. He chuckles good naturedly and his hand flexes at the movement, tightening its grasp on yours when you set them on the middle console again.  

"That's good. I appreciate you." 

"I appreciate you more," you tell him sweetly, though you mean it very genuinely. Jake pulls his eyes from the road to flash a heavy frown of disapproval your way. 

"I don't think that's possible," Jake says with passion.

You just shrug, letting the conversation drift to the next topic, just enjoying the drive with Jake. It is a while before Jake pulls off onto a private road that leads up to a massive barn, and you still don't really have any clue where you are or why. Jake throws the gear into park, the truck in park and shoots you an almost gleeful smile. 

"Jake, where are we?" You ask him again. 

"Just my friend's place," he answers.Then,while reaching over and patting your cheek affectionately, says, "You, my sweet, can stay here." 

"Do I have to stay?" You ask him nervously, checking the mirrors on either side of you. You know once Jake leaves the truck and into the barn you won't be able to see him anymore. The idea of being alone here, somewhere you don't know, even in the truck makes you uncomfortable. 

"I just didn't want you to have to walk through all the mud," Jake says. 

"It's okay," you tell him reassuringly. "That's why you had me bring my boots, right?"

"Yes, but you just look snug as a bug. I didn't want to make you move," Jake replies. 

"I don't mind, it will be nice to get out of the car. And I want to meet your friend." 

A moment later Jake is opening your side of the truck and helping you into your boots, tying up the laces for you and ignoring your protests that you are perfectly capable of doing that yourself. Jake helps you out of the truck and holds your hand, helping you walk over the uneven ground carefully. You can smell it before you see it. The fresh woodsy scent permeates the air so heavily that you can nearly taste it. 

Subverting your expectations, Jake does not lead you to the large frame equipment sliding doors of the barn. Instead, he leads you around the nearest side where there is a small typical sized door. Opening the door, Jake reveals a huge workshop. Half of the large barn space is filled with massive logs, planks, boards, and other cuts of wood. The other half is full of various projects, a giant tool bench, and shelving making up an impressive workspace. 

"Oh wow," you breathe taking it all in. You look at Jake and he is positively gleeful, maybe even more excited than a kid in a candy shop. His grin is wide, looking around and leading you a bit further into the workspace. A soft Jingle plays in the air, penetrating the otherwise quiet atmosphere when Jake closes the door behind you. 

"Seresin, that better be you!" A voice calls out from the back of the barn.

"And it if ain't?" Jake calls back playfully. 

"Then you should know, I've got a gun I ain't afraid to use, and you're trespassing." 

You almost let go of Jake's hand in alarm, but he gives you a squeeze reassuring you. He leads you a little further into the warehouse, and a middle aged woman comes in through one of the open doors. 

Jake lets go of your hand to give her a warm hug. She hugs Jake back lightly before pushing him away with a playful shove.

"It's good to see you too, Jess," Jake grumbles, dodging out of the way of her playful punch. 

"Hi, I'm Jess. It's nice to meet you." She says turning to you and offers you a warm smile

You introduce yourself a bit shyly, but feel more confident when Jake's hand slips back into yours. 

"Have you known this pest for long?" Jess asks you while gesturing to Jake. 

"Jess, be nice. I am literally your favorite customer and the son you never had," Jake complains. 

"Paula and I were actually very conscious in our choice not to have children, Jake," Jess says, clicking her tongue at him. 

Jake pouts and you can't help but giggle a little at the sight. "I've known him for a bit, yes," you respond. 

"Well, even if he is annoying, you've found yourself a good man," Jess says. You wait for Jake to correct her. When he doesn't you start to do so yourself but Jess has already changed the subject and started walking to the other side of the warehouse with a gesture for you to follow. 

"So, I got them fresh this week. And just like you requested, I'm letting you have the first freshcut pick, even before me." Jess explains to him. 

"I knew you loved me," Jake gasps grinning wide. Jess huffs out a breath at Jake but doesn't deny Jake's accusation which just makes Jake grin wider. Y'all walk to a pile of grey logs stacked close to the large barn doors.

They start a conversation that completely goes over your head, something about soil conditions, chain lengths, altitude, sap, and other details you didn't know impacted wood. You take this opportunity to look around the shop, and appreciate all the different types of wood and tools. You have only slightly lost focus when you suddenly realize Jake has said your name and is looking at you expectantly. He quickly picks up that you missed the question though, so he repeats it gently. 

"You should pick our first one, Sugar. Juniper was your idea." 

"Oh, I just pick one?" You ask looking at all the logs. Besides the fact they were different widths they all looked pretty much the same to you. 

"Yes, Ma'am," Jake confirms. He leads you to the ends of the cuts and starts talking about grains, and the potential knots and twists that would be in the wood when you cut into it. Jess leaves y'all to decide, saying she'll go grab her forklift to make getting the selections into Jake's truck easier. Jess declines Jake's offer to drive with a snipe about how he isn't forklift certified. Jake's muttered comeback about how he could be forklift certified if he wanted makes you roar in laughter. 

You eventually pick a trunk that overall doesn't look too special, but Jake said it looked like it would be easier to work with because of how sticky the sap was. Jake makes two other selections and also insists on helping Jess get the wood into his truck. 

Jess invited you to an early lunch where you met her wife Paula. Paula had clearly been prepared to host and spent the whole meal fawning over Jake. While Jess might deny treating him like a son, Paula certainly leans into it, and you can tell Jake doesn't mind from the glowing smile that stays on his face the whole time you're at their home.  

As promised Jake had planned time to stop at the farmers market, and an outlet mall, that included a target, where two do some light shopping. Finally picking up Jake's drycleaning on your way home. It's a fun day, and you were thankful you had decided to tag along.

"So Jake, are these for what I think?" You ask him excitedly when you have finally made it home and he is pulling the logs into the garage. 

"It definitely might be. After all, this is fresh Juniper." 

You stare at the grey logs of wood with their mossy, splintering bark that has already made a mess in the garage. Examining the wood you try to compare it with the Juniper you have seen in the past.

"I didn't think it was that color," you tell Jake scrunching your eyebrows together in contemplation. 

"Well, the wood isn't actually grey, just the bark," Jake explains. You watch as he pulls two pairs of work gloves from the workbench. He jerks the larger pair on, you realize with adoration that he had gotten a pair in your size. Jake doesn't hand the gloves to you, rather just leaves them out as an offering if you are interested in participating. The casual no pressure offering makes your chest warm and stomach flutter. Biting your lip you try to contain the grin threatening to split your face before joining him at the workbench and sliding the gloves on. 

Grabbing two chisels, he throws one on his belt. Then he picks up alo with two hammers, hanging both those on his toolbelt as well. You start to get distracted by the way Jake's tool belt sits on his slim hips. 

"Yes. Jess managed to expedite it for us in a special order. I'm so excited. You see, in the spring the sap warms up and it runs through the tree so it allows us to do this –" Jake explains to you. He angles the chisel into the bark, working it in. With a controlled hit from the hammer the flat head sinks in a little bit deeper. Wiggling the chisel makes the bark displace, allowing Jake to grab it and pull it downwards. A long section of the bark comes off before splintering and breaking off the log. The action reveals the light colored, bright, 'green' (fresh) wood underneath. 

"I can tell you've never experienced stripping before," Jake says cheekily while wiggling his eyebrows at you. You feel a bit amazed at the beautiful gem that's been revealed to you. 

"What?" you gasp.  

"Stripping is what this process is called," Jake answers while letting out a full bellied laugh, going so far as slapping his own leg. You roll your eyes at him but can't help your smile and excitement on joining in. 

"Some people strip wood with a power washer, but I think that's lazy. On top of the laziness, it prematurely ages and strips the wood of its natural oils, color, and saps! If we take our time though, we can get a longer lasting, vibrant cut. It's a lot of work, but I promise it will be worth it in the long run." 

Jake takes his chisel and edges it under the bark again. When he pulls the long grey strip of bark gives way with a crunch that sizzles against your ears. Jake continues to slowly peel more away to reveal the fresh color underneath, not pressuring you to join the process at any point. 

However when you do ask to help Jake is patient going over the process with you, explaining the best angle to keep the chisel. He provides steady guidance, only leaving you alone in the process when you tell him that you have a handle on what you're doing. 

You help Hangman strip one of the logs and just as he had said, it is a slow process. It is however extremely satisfying and lots of fun. He puts on a podcast after consulting you to find one you would both enjoy. At one point you accidentally dig your chisel too far under the bark and feel it sink slightly into the 'green' sap softened wood. Your heart drops, and when you peel it back you see that it has pulled a chunk of wood, leaving a gouge in the trunk. You freeze, noticing the damage of the mistake, pulling your eyes to where Jake is working. Just as you start to wonder if there could be a way to fix or hide your mistake, Jake looks over at you with a wide smile that crinkles around his eyes.

"Oh wow," he gasps, the smile falling. Anxiety claws at your throat, and you instinctively prepare yourself for something bad to happen, every muscle in your body tensing in anticipation. Jake's hand gently pushes yours out of the way and dips over the gouge pushing away some of the sap that was springing from the area. Jake clicks his tongue before saying. "Look at this, sugar" 

"I know and–" You are getting ready to spew the best excuse and explanation you can think of before Jake interrupts you. 

"I've seen this color juniper, at least not in person" Jake tells you breathily. You are momentarily surprised that his words do not contain any anger, veiled insults, or condescending tones. Then you remember that this is Jake, so of course you're not going to 'be in trouble'. It takes your eyes a moment to drop down to the thick trunk again. Where you had damaged the wood, it revealed a bright purple streak under the top grain. 

"It's purple," you say, eyes widening. 

"It does look purple does it?" Jake asks excitedly. "That means at the very least that vein will look like that through the trunk. If not all the pigmentation in the grain." 

"So, it's not usually purple?" You ask. 

"Sometimes red, but not purple. This one was a real treasure find, sugarpie" Jake answers. His grin was so wide you were a little worried about his face. However, before you know it, he is sweeping you in his arms and rocking you playfully while saying, "We are going to have to do something really special with this one."  

"Puzzle table," You say as if that was the most obvious answer. That was the whole reason he had gotten all these logs of juniper, after all. 

"Yeah, maybe for the puzzle table," Jake says noncommittally, though as he hums you can tell that won't be the case. He kisses your forehead and mutters a thank you.

Jake gives you another thank you, a little while later, once you two have started to work again. "We wouldn't have known about the color until I went to cut planks and then there would have been a lot less I could do to preserve the color." 

"I made a mistake, Jake."

"Not all mistakes are bad," he says kindly. "Sometimes they are just something that's meant to happen. They have to happen for us to learn something." 

"Says the man who famously never makes mistakes," you grouse back. 

"I make mistakes, but unfortunately, like everything I do, it's to the max. Either the best or the worst," he trails off with a shrug. 

"Because you refuse to be middling?" You ask him teasingly. You aren't surprised when his sharp elbow playfully taps into your arm, and if you bruise later-- it will be worth it.  

"We never should have read and watched Little Women," Jake grumbles. However, his open and light body language make it very clear to you he is being playful. You traced the shape of his dimples with your eyes enjoying the ease they brought to you. They seemed like the perfect place to rest your thumbs on his cheeks. It's nice how Jake comes with a built in guidance system. From his dimples, to the smile lines that will age nicely into kind crows feet all pointing to the freckle-mole by his right eye. You had already mapped out every place you wanted to kiss, given the opportunity. 

"You loved them both," you remind Jake. 

"Of course I did. It is a heart warming, stunning story. But you don't always have to make fun of how I teared up a little bit." Jake tells you, adopting a frown. Teared up was a bit of a down play on what had happened but you didn't call Jake out on that part. It wasn't a bad thing for men to get emotional and cry. 

"I only tease because you were upset about it for the entire next day. Which honestly was so sweet."

"It's not sweet, Sugar." Jake groans. 

"Jake, let's not do this dance," you sigh, rolling your eyes at him and turning back to your work on the trunk. You are much more careful now in how you place the chisel under the bark. In the middle of stripping off the next piece the podcast shuts off and some slow country music replaces it. 

"Now, Sugar," Jake says in an extra thick southern accent that makes you narrow your eyes. He eases in close to you and pulls the chisel out of your hand sliding it in his tool belt. Unbuckling it Jake sets it on the bench. Coming back to your side he takes your hand, delicately. Jake pulls your work gloves from each finger. Intentional and steady, the pads of his fingers brush against your revealed skin. He tosses the gloves to the side as well, and with your now free hands pulls you closer to him, towards the open space in the middle of the garage. 

"What dance exactly don't you want to do?" Jake asks you, starting to sway to the music and encouraging you to join him in the simple steps. Once you do he gleefully spins you in time with the music and draws you back even closer to his chest after. 

Blowing out a sigh you melt into his embrace. Dancing with Jake was different than any other man; he was confident and incharge, firm enough with his hold that there wasn't any space for you to really fall out of step with him, but he left enough room so you didn't feel like he was forcefully dragging you through the steps. He was good about taking the worry of thinking about the steps away from you, allowing you to just enjoy the movement and how his broad body felt pressed so close. 

"The dance where you try to sell some preposterous lie about not being a good man, and I have to convince you otherwise." 

"Ouch," Jake says. You lean back further resisting the hold he has in moving you. Jake doesn't allow the movement though, continuing to step dance to the music guiding you with him. 

"I'm sorry, Jake." you say already feeling a little bad. 

"No, no. I might have deserved that one," Jake answers, as the song wraps up, and you don't know what to say. He doesn't let go of you though, just adjusts his steps, leads his steps into the next one. 

"Let's find a different dance you do like," he says after a bit, shuffling you in his arms. "For example, we know you love the Texas two step."

"Do I?" You ask him with a laugh. 

"Yes, ma'am," He responds confidently, not leaving room to contradict him. "How do you feel about salsa though?" 

Jake turns you around the open space in the garage, going through dances he knows until you are both laughing. When he suggests cooking dinner and watching Dancing with the Stars for some new ideas you readily and happily agree, especially when he reminds you the logs will still be there tomorrow, and there is no real need to rush since you have at least a week until the sap is too dry to easily strip anymore.

…

"Marlee, your boss isn't going to pass you up for a promotion." 

"Well, she might if I'm pregnant," Marlee responds in a small voice that doesn't match her typical outgoing demeanor. You almost drop your phone but manage to keep your grip tight. 

"Marlene Machado… First of all, that would be illegal, and we would file a report with HR. And secondly, is there something you are wanting to tell me?"

"No!" Marlee says, "I don't know what you're talking about, me pregnant?! That's crazy talk. Maybe you're the one who's pregnant." 

"Okay, honey. Sorry, sorry." You sigh only partly apologetic into the phone. 

"No, I'm sorry." She replies in a quiet voice. "But nothing for sure yet." 

"That's okay, Marls. It's only been a few months of this new medicine."

"Yeah, well um I guess that leads to my next problem."

"What's that?"

"What are your plans for Saturday?"

"I don't have any plans." You say running through your mental calendar to check. 

"Okay, perfect. So, here's what Javy and I are thinking." 

"So Javy is involved?" You clarify. 

"What? Of course, he is!" Marlee says sounding affronted at even the concept of not including her husband, which makes you almost smile for real. 

"Okay, okay," you tell her with a small laugh. 

"We'll pick you up. Then we'll carpool to the airport. Don't worry I already made signs. Then we want to take y'all to Olive Garden."

You distantly hear Javy yelling, "When we are there, we are family."

Marlee takes a moment to giggle, "I'll make sure you and Jake drink a bottle of wine. Preferably one each. Trust me, nothing helps with the ‘we haven't seen each other in six months’ awkwardness better than wine. Then we will drive you two home!" 

You aren't successful in catching your phone this time and it slams to the ground. You're frozen staring down at it, only managing to shake yourself and pick it up when you hear Marlee saying your name in concern. 

"Sorry, the phone slipped. What was that?" 

"Oh no, is it okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine," you answer the pit in your stomach growing till it feels like it might swallow you whole. 

"You don't need help with anything for tomorrow do you?" Marlee asks worriedly. You take a glance around the house. You had worked hard keeping things orderly and together while Jake had been gone. You knew how worried he was that things would change while he was away. It hadn't been easy and there were a few weeks there when you hadn't been able to keep yourself afloat very well. 

"Help with what?" You ask, trying to get her to confirm what you thought you had heard. 

"Any cleaning or organizing or any of that. Groceries so you and Jake don't have to go shop. Javy hates going to the store when he comes home. I guess there is something especially frustrating about them," Marlee trails off. You can tell that she is picking up on your off mood, and of course she was. She probably expected you to be ecstatic that Jake was coming home, and maybe you would have been if you had known about it. 

You realize there isn't a way out of this so you have to concede a truth to her. You bite your lip and let your eyes frantically comb over the house again before finally whispering. "He hasn't said anything to me… about coming home." 

When Marlee answers you can hear she isn't on speakerphone anymore, and asks you quietly, "He hasn't mentioned it at all?" 

"Not a word," you respond solemnly. 

"I'm sorry for ruining the surprise."

"I'm glad you did. I'll definitely want to clean and shop like you mentioned. And as nice as your plan sounded, maybe not this time. You two are the sweetest ever."

"I still feel bad. Are you sure you don't need help with anything?"

"I'm fine, thank you, Marlee!" You were not fine.

"Wait, babes, I'm worried."

"Don't worry. I'll talk to you later, yeah? I love you!" You hang up the phone and stare at it blankly. Trying to process the new information you had just gotten. Looking around the house you realized you weren't even close to ready for Jake to come home.  

You spend all of your free time panicking, cleaning and organizing the house, trying to make sure everything was just perfect for when Jake comes home. You almost had a breakdown when you couldn't remember if the quilt on his bed had been green or dark blue when he left.. The smallest details were haunting you. You had spent nearly an hour working up the courage to erase the chalkboard in the kitchen. Worried that you would forget some of the more important reminders, you erase everything but what you deemed Jake needed to know, like things that had come up concerning the house. It leaves a choppy, oddly spaced list, but you don't think you will have the energy to rewrite it without crying. 

You were asleep when Jake came home. Waking up to sounds that are familiar and yet gone enough that they don't sound right, confuses your tired mind before you are startled into wakefulness, fully placing that for the first time in 6 months someone else is cooking in your kitchen. Your alarm is slightly eased when you check your phone and see a text from Marlee. 

We're here with a gift, come down stairs as soon as you wake up &lt;3

 While you were put at ease knowing some manic axe murderer isn't in your house, you almost feel like you would prefer that to what you now know is waiting for you downstairs. You sit in your room for nearly an hour trying to work out what to do, if you should confront Jake and how to approach it, hoping inspiration or bravery will strike you into moving. It never does though, and instead there is a heavy handed knock on your bedroom door. 

Taking a big gulp, not having the strength to find your voice, you slowly creak the door open. You lift your eyes up and unexpectedly find Javy on the other side of the door. 

"Hey, sleeping beauty!" Javy says cheerfully. It takes you a few deep breaths to answer from your surprise. You don't know what the look on your face is, but the next thing you know, Javy is sweeping you up into a tight hug. You are frozen though, still strung out on what this must mean, that Jake is home. 

"Is he?" You start to ask, but not sure how you actually want to finish the sentence: home, safe, okay, the same. Javy doesn't respond, he just squeezes you harder. You try asking your question again to get an answer. "Is Jake?" 

"Hangman is here," Javy finally confirms. 

"I thought it was going to be this evening."

"Some of his flights got shifted around at the last minute." 

"Oh. And is he..?" You can't finish that question either. 

"He will be okay," Javy says lightly.  

"Will be? So, that means that he isn't okay now." You grimace, worry flooding your chest that is already so full of hurt. 

"It'll all take us some time to readjust and recalibrate. Just don't push him, and more importantly yourself too hard. Okay?" Javy says pulling away from the hug after another squeeze. You nod numbly, not entirely sure you know what he means but it is comforting to know your friend is here. 

When you don't make a move to follow Javy towards the door when he starts to retreat he levels you with a concerned look. 

"Why do you love Jake?" Javy asks, leaning back against your door. 

You open your mouth to protest that you don't love Jake– how can you love someone who willfully hasn't talked to you in 6 months? The words don't come out though, because in spite of it all, you do love him. You love him so much it hurts, and you made that choice even as Jake actively warned you against it. Javy waits patiently for you to respond, which just makes you feel like squirming more. 

"I do not see what that has to do with anything," you try to deflect but Coyote frowns at you and shakes his head.

"It's because he makes you feel better than a million bucks right?" Javy presses on with the question.

"Yeah, sometimes." You concede thinking of how it was before Jake left. 

"Or like you are the most important thing in the room? More important even than him?" 

"Don't know if I love Jake because of that. I think those are just side benefits. I love Jake just by virtue of him being Jake." You say trying to explain how you feel and Javy nods along to your words. 

"I get it," he says. You worry your lip and look at the door again, still not sure you can do this. 

"It's going to be okay. Marlee and I are here to play interference as long as you two need it. Remembering those things you love about him will help get through the rough patch. He is really worried about doing something wrong."

"What do you mean wrong?" 

"I would say he is worried about hurting you." And you had to resist the urge to laugh, because it was already much too late for that. Jake had been hurting you for months now.

"Has something gone wrong before, or is he just scared?"

Javy doesn't answer your question and he avoids your gaze and stares hard at a far wall. "Hangman and I aren't always stationed together." 

"Oh, I see."

"You're going to have to give him some grace and time; he will even out, I promise. If it gets too bad you can always call me, okay?" Javy's eyes meet yours again, and he gives you a sad smile. "I love Jake too, you know."

"Yeah, I know you do." You reassure him. "Thanks Coyote, you are a good friend to him, and me too." 

Javy is then urging you to finally leave your room, opening the door and gesturing for you to step out. He is asking you to be brave, and it's a lot easier to face your fears when you know someone else is there to help, just in case. 

"Hey what's taking so long up there?" Marlee yells up the stairs suspiciously. She must have heard your door open.  

"I am once again begging Javy to run away with me." You yell back to her playfully. Giving Javy one last tight hug and a muttered thank you, he strides confidently down the stairs. Anxiety and nerves eat away at your every step leaving a sour taste on your tongue. You keep your eyes trained on the ground, as you descend the stairs, still not ready to actually see Jake. 

Instead you keep your eyes trailed on Javy where he has automatically drifted to his wife's side and is already wrapping himself around her and kissing her cheek. 

"Well, were you convinced to run away?" Marlee asks her husband, hugging him back, clearly enjoying the joke. 

"No Ma'am, not this time," Coyote answers with a laugh. 

"I wasn't worried," she tells him. "I know there's only one person you would leave me for."

"I would never leave you," Javy responds, dropping the playfulness from his voice. However, Marlee persists. 

"That's not true, we both know if Jake asked, you wouldn't even hesitate." The couple both turn their eyes towards the kitchen, which you realize is where Jake must be. You are frozen on the last step of the stairs, unable to take your eyes off Marlee and Javy, even as they expectantly look back and forth between where you are standing and where he is. 

You decide you aren't brave enough, that you can't actually do this. You need to retreat up the stairs into your room and pack all of your things in order to get out of here as soon as possible. Jake was back now, all the responsibility you had to watch and take care of the house was released from your shoulders. Never facing him again seems like the obvious solution, you don't know why you had never considered it before. 

"I wouldn't ever ask Javy to run away with me, he snores too much," Jake says. His voice tricks your eyes into looking towards the kitchen. Thinking about Jake Seresin and seeing him are two distinctly different things. He is handsome, Jake always has been handsome, but after so long of not seeing him, it's glaring, breathtaking. 

You think you had expected him to change, which doesn't really make sense. Half a year, in the grand scheme of things, really isn't very long. You think maybe his uniform fits him a bit more snugly, that he looks even more fit than before. You weren't prepared… you weren't prepared at all. And now you are stuck because he is looking back at you. Jake blinks at you, and you stare wide eyed, too afraid if your eyes close for even a second he will be gone. 

"Hello. Good morning," Jake finally says. 

"Hi," you squeak. Then you are finally able to take the last step off the stairs and say, "It's good to see you." 

Jake flashes you one of his perfect practiced smiles and a wink. Then he gestures to the bowls and pans in front of him, "I'm making french toast." 

You wait a second, having to choke back a sob threatening to bubble in your chest. Then say, "I'm sure that will be good." 

Javy and Marlee's analyzing the two of you makes the awkwardness press in harder. Gulping, you try to seem casual about walking towards the kitchen. Jake watches you intently. At the last minute you change your mind and veer down the hallway towards the front door instead. 

"Sorry, I just have some errands I need to run," You announce loudly, quickening your step. Fumbling with the locks you burst out the front door, and stand heaving on the front porch. Gripping the railing hard, you lean against it trying to brace yourself. 

A minute later you hear the door open, and you close your eyes tight, wishing you had been smart enough to walk further away. There is a slight clunk against the ground and you see a pair of your shoes next to your feet. 

"Thought you might need shoes," Jake says quietly. Fuck, this hurt so much more than you though it would. You thought having him home would feel like a relief, not a fresh stab wound. You just shake your head, not sure you can say anything. Jake waits patiently but after several long minutes, he breathes out a quiet sigh. 

"Okay. Well. I think I should just apologize and get on with it. I'm sorry, I am so sorry." You can't stop the hitching sob that falls from your throat. 

"I know you didn't love back the same way, but I didn't realize you cared so little about me." 

"That is an inaccurate statement," Jake protests. 

"I don't want us to have a fight Jake." You mumble, nothing about this conversation was making you feel better. 

"Well I do. I want us to have a fight, because you should be mad at me. You should be yelling at me and cursing the ground I walk on. You should've burned down this house!" He exclaims, and you can hear his frustration. You open your eyes to find Jake standing stiff and straight next to the slightly ajar front door. Hands clenched tight, Jake was staring at like you were water and he had been stranded in the desert for days, parched. A direct sighting of his green eyes is all it takes to break your resolve.  

"I can't be mad at you!" You exclaim, throwing your hands up in the air. 

"Why not?" He prods you in a low voice.

"You know exactly why."  

Jake huffs, clenching his jaw he glares upwards, away from you. 

"You don't have to be this saint you know. You don't have to be this perfectly stable person for me because you feel like that's what I need. Please don't let me get away with hurting you." 

"I won't give you the satisfaction," you tell him coldly. 

"What?" Jake asks, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion. 

"I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of confirming that you are the bad guy you've convinced yourself you are. So, what would you like me to say instead?"   

"I guess I want you to listen to the fact that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for how I left, I'm sorry for how I behaved, I—"

"Are you really sorry for what happened between us?" You ask in a small voice. You lower your eyes to look at the ground, not wanting to be too confrontational. 

"Of course I am," he sighs. It's a stab to your heart. You had treasured the long heartbreakingly beautiful evening you had with Jake before he left, and hearing him say he doesn't feel the same is harrowing. 

"Are you—" you start to ask but stop yourself. You ball up all the hurt in your chest trying to rationalize and compartmentalize. Realizing this is another one of those times you had to fill in the gaps. It was time you refocused on the realities at hand. There were no promises besides the one you had made. That you would love him regardless, and continuously. Reminding yourself this fact helps, you could be upset after, later. Every moment actually with Jake should be treasured, this was the first moment you were getting with him in how long and of course you had ruined it. 

"I'm sorry for every other thing I know I should be, and everything I willfully chose not to know too. I'm sorry, and well I want to go on forever. I want to keep telling you I'm sorry every second. So, I'm sorry. I'll say it a million times more. Like you deserve."

"Jake, stop. Sometimes the more times you say something the cheaper the words have become. So let's keep this one valuable. I'm sorry for pushing, and you've said sorry too. We can move on now." 

"I'll just be plain then." He says, though you can tell that the frustration and desperation are still burning hot under his skin. 

"Yes, Jake, be plain. That's the best option for us."

"If we step over lines?"

"We say something, stop and talk about it."

"Okay." He agrees, "We have to talk about the other thing now too."

"What thing?" you ask.

"My question, what happened between us." He says as if he hadn't just told you part of him regrets it. 

"You asked to be selfish with me Jake, and I said yes. I don't regret that, and I'm not mad about what happened. You had my permission and consent for all of it.' 

"I just kept waiting until I knew what I wanted to say, but then I never knew what I wanted to say," he explains. 

"Jake, I really…" You sigh and scrub your hand over your face. "Can we not talk about this right now?"

 Jake nods silently in response. "Okay, Later, then."

"Sure, like when the Machados aren't listening on the other side of the door." You say loudly looking at the front door that was cracked, having no doubt your friends were being nosey. Not that you really blame them, you probably would have done the same thing. 

"Do you still have errands to run?" he asks you. You look out to the street deciding you should at least take a small walk to sort through your thoughts. 

"I'm just going to go on a little walk. I'm sure I'll be back by the time breakfast is done," you explain. 

"Sounds good, sugar. Can I help you with your shoes?" He asks quietly. The only reason you nod your head yes is because you think you might start crying otherwise. 

Jake kneels down and hesitates for a long moment before his large warm hand is on your ankle, helping angle your foot into the shoe. His thumb makes a brushing stroke across the skin before doing the same thing with the other foot. When you get back from your walk, it's awkward. You completely avoid Marlee's attempts to get you to go off and talk with her. Instead, you decide that the best course of action is to pretend that nothing is wrong. You laugh at jokes and ignore how stilted and awkward Jake's conversation is with everyone. Then, after Marlee and Javy linger way too long, before you and Jake finally get them to leave. Once they are out the door and Jake has locked the door behind them, you both let out a sigh of relief. You meet Jake's gaze, both of you offer small smiles. It's the most normal moment you've had all day. 

"Welcome back, Jake." You offer tentatively. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I kinda just want to nap," he admits. You part ways at the top of the stairs giving him a strained smile and retreat into your room; Jake's eyes don't leave you until the door is shut firmly in place. 

It's much later that night when you hear some loud banging. You shoot out of your room worried, and realize the banging is coming from the other side of Jake's bedroom door. You knock on it firmly but don't hear a response. 

You knock again and the banging comes to a stop. You try the door and find it locked. 

"Jake, are you okay?" You ask him through the door. 

"I'm fine. Thanks," he yells back. You wait but when you don't get anything more, you have no choice but to leave him be and go back to your room. You don't actually even see Jake again until two nights later. You have been able to tell that he is home but Jake is as elusive as a ghost. 

You run into him next when you open your door one night to get some water before bed. Jake is standing on the other side, holding two water bottles. Part of you has a hunch that he had been standing there for a while. He looks shocked but a little relieved when he sees you. 

"I know I shouldn't be here," Jake starts slowly, taking his gaze off of you and looks down at his feet. 

"No, it's okay that you are here," you stutter slightly. "Is there something you need?" 

Jake nods his head along with your words, his eyebrows drawing together. Then he holds out a water bottle for you to take. "Can I just be here? Here, with you?"

"Of course, always." You say stepping backwards into your room leaving the door wide open for him. You shuffle to your bed and lift open the blankets ready to welcome him there with you. However, Jake drops the pillow he was holding on the floor nearby and lays down instead. 

You want to ask him questions about it but the edge he is on isn't one you want to poke or prod in any direction. While you are still hurt, knowing he is here is safe again, with you is equally as soothing, a small dosage of pain medication. 

"There's plenty of room up here with me too, you know." You decide to casually offer just in case. 

"It's too soft for me right now."

"I just thought I would offer," you say lightly. 

"I can't sleep. It's the worst part. Everything is too quiet and too still and at the same time not quiet or still enough. I think I might go insane." He explains in a low voice. 

"What can I do? What do you need?" You ask sympathetically. 

"Can we talk about it?" Jake asks hopefully. 

"No, Jake. We can't," You sigh and hear him sigh in frustration. 

"Someday, at some point, we are going to have to talk about it," Jake says so carefully you know he is consciously holding back the taunting frustration he wants to put into the words. 

"No, we really don't," You contradict him. 

"Sweets," Jake responds, sounding wrecked. 

You think you should give into him again. You should allow Jake to talk his heart out and seek penance from you. How this should be a time when you are strong for him. However, as much as you want to give Jake the world, there must be times that you curl around your own heart to try and shield it from hurt. 

"Listen, Jake. I don't need to know why you didn't talk to me while you were gone. No matter what your explanation is, it's going to hurt my feelings. So, I would rather not know. Please, let me pretend something a little kinder." 

He is silent, so very quiet for so long you almost wonder if he has left. Evaporated from existence, that he never came home at all, and you've been living an elaborate hallucination. You turn on your side just to check in the soft lamp light that Jake is still laying on the floor. 

"You should have said no to me before I left. It would have saved us both a lot of grief I think." 

Jake's words feel like a punch in the gut, rattling around like a wrecking ball, leaving a bloody massacre behind. With a heavy blown out breath you say, "No it wouldn't have."

"No, it wouldn't have," he sighs in agreement. 

"It would be nice though, if we could go back to before." 

"Before?" He asks. 

"Yes," you say, clutching your blankets tight. "If I could pretend that you never got orders and didn't leave. I would jump to that in an instant. 

"You want to pretend nothing happened?" 

"Isn't that an idea?" You huff a small broken laugh at the ridiculousness of it.

"What if I don't remember exactly how things went before?" Jake wonders. 

"Jake, I wasn't serious," you say cautiously.  

There are several long minutes of silence where you wait for him to say something. Finally, you hear Jake let out a long heavy audible groan while shifting. "If you don't want to talk it out. Pretending is probably our best option then. Otherwise, what are we going to do, sweets?" 

"Sugar," You correct automatically. 

"Hmm?" 

"You usually call me sugar, or honey. Not sweets" 

"Ah, that's right, and darling. I got it mixed up because you're so sweet to me."

"I'll help you. If you don't remember how it goes." 

"Thank you," he says. And you can't believe he is actually agreeing to this idea, or really that you are either. 

"Do you not like sweets?" Jake asks eventually. 

"It's fine enough, I guess." You answer as lightly as you can. Then you go through another bout of silence. You nervously play with the edge of a blanket hoping that this tension with Jake will ease. It's always gone away in the past, but that was also before. 

"That's what you want then? Tomorrow, we go back?" Jake asks again. 

"Yes, tomorrow," You confirm. 

"Sugar?

"Yes, Jakers?"

"Can I ask you a question?" He asks. You laugh lightly, feeling a bit of the nervousness ease at his tone which has become much lighter. 

"I never understand why people say that. Aren't you already asking a question?" Jake chuckles low in his chest in amusement. He doesn't follow along with the joke though, just leaves it there hanging in the air. 

"The answer is yes," you tell him casually. 

"You don't know what the question is." 

"Yes, you can ask me a question," you clarify in a whisper. Jake makes some rustling sounds and you hear him come closer to you.

"Are you sure that bed is big enough for two?" He asks. 

"Why don't we find out?" You laugh feeling more at ease. 

With a nod Jake crawls onto bed and turns to face you on his side. However, he doesn't scoot in close like you expect. He is stone still on the other side of the bed, laying on top of the covers, only shifting his pillow once. 

"What would you do, if I told you the last time I said yes, it had an extended warranty?" You ask while turning on your side to face where you are in the bed now. 

"How long are we talking about here?" Jake asks. 

"Unfortunately, I think it expires some time tomorrow." You watch Jake work his lip in contemplation, while examining your face closely. 

"Why would you let me be selfish with you again?" 

"I think it's because we are selfish. Maybe it's a little bit because I don't want the memory of the last time I tasted you to be bitter." 

Jake rolls away from you onto his back, blinking rapidly at the ceiling. "Stop letting me take things from you."

"We both deserve a night where we are selfish with each other, I think." You tell him reaching across the gap between you. You set a hand on Jake's cheek ignoring the prickly stubble there. 

"To have you and let you go again the next day would be torture," Jake says all while leaning into your touch. 

"Just a kiss this time," you offer, urging him by his cheek to come a little closer to you. 

"It was supposed to be just a kiss last time too." Jake's eyes are bright where they burn into yours. He inches a little closer and you lean forwards as well, reducing the gap between you two that much more until there is just a miniscule space now.  

"I know," You answer against his lips, letting your hand slip into his hair. Jake's lips move with yours crowding in close, like he is trying to breathe all of you into himself and commit you to memory. 

"Maybe, it can be more of a promise?" Jake eventually gasps. 

"A promise?" You question. 

"A promise not to hurt you like this again," Jake answers.

"That's not an easy promise to keep," you warn. 

"That's true, but I'm willing to try anyway." He kisses you again and dips his tongue into your mouth. Jake swallows your little whimpers; he tastes just as good as he always has. It's very easy to be selfish with Jake "Hangman" Seresin.  

…

It's a slow road to trying to get back to normal. Jake circles around the house like he is lost. Picking things up and setting them down, starting conversations with you and leaving halfway through them. Shadows stretch across his face and his increasingly dark stubble and facial hair. You are a little surprised to find that he doesn't have a red beard like most blonds do. The facial hair only serves to make him look increasingly gaunt.

Jake even denies your offer to start a puzzle together, telling you that wasn't something he could handle at the moment. You try not to seem like you were watching him like a hawk, but you definitely are. Until one day he stood up from the table in the middle of dinner and announced that he was going camping. 

"Oh okay. Do you know how long?" 

"Yeah," Jake sighs, "I'll be home before next weekend, and I promise you when I get home I'll be normal again."

"You don't have to be any which way for me Jake," you tell him gently. 

"I know, but I need to do this for me too, sugar." He explains while putting away dishes. You watch him complete the task; Jake is antsy even with his hands occupied. None of the projects or tasks he has picked up since being home have been enough to occupy him with real distraction. Two days ago, you had walked into the garage where Jake had rigged up his camping hammock to the ceiling which you felt like he was swaying precariously 8 feet off the ground. On top of that Jake had music blasting, a documentary on Yosemite playing, while also whittling a piece of wood. 

"Okay. I'll miss you." You eventually say. Jake purses his lip, and after a heavy gulp he nods his head. Once the last of the dishes is away he spins on his heel and heads towards the garage door. 

You hurry after him, "Jake?"

"Yes, sugar?" He asks, not pausing his trajectory. 

"Are you leaving right now?" You ask him surprised. 

"Yes, I packed earlier today."

"Can I have a hug before you go?" You ask him hesitantly. 

Jake freezes. He rubs his hands across his face pressing briefly into his eyes while sighing a very soft "Fuck." Then he turns to you fully looking abashed. "Yeah, sugar. What do you need before I go? I'm sorry I should have asked that first."

"No, it's no big deal. Honestly." You tell him backing off not wanting to be too much. Jake shushes you softly while stepping closer. 

"Tell me how it goes. I need to remind myself about this part."

"Well," you start off hesitantly, "normally I would get a hug goodbye." 

"Ahh," Jake hums, "that's right. And I do that part like this?" Jake wraps you in his arms, draping them high on your back. You wait a moment before draping your arms around his neck.

"How's the next part going again, sweets?"

"You squeeze my waist a little harder and lower." Jake follows the direction his arms tightening around you drawing you flush against his chest. 

"Now?" He whispers. 

"You would probably kiss my forehead."

"Just your forehead?" Jake asks breathily. 

"I'll leave that one up to you, Jake." He unwraps a hand from your waist to hold the back of your neck, keeping you steady. 

"And if I want to kiss somewhere else?"

"You've got my permission Jake," you tell him trying to keep want and desire out of your voice. Jake parts his lips and leans in closer brushing his lips to grace over your cheekbone. 

"You can have it, Jake," you remind him.

"No," he answers and closes his eyes. "Not again, not yet. I'll be home in a few days."

Once Jake leaves you know there is something you have to do to help him. It's an idea that gets stuck in your head and then you can't get it out. He had been spending time daily in his hammock in the garage, and you noted that Jake had taken it with him when he left. You missed how he used to casually be in the living room, so you started brainstorming some ideas on how you might entice Jake to join you again. 

So, you go to the kitchen and pull out the rolodex, find the card dedicated to Miss Celeste and give it a call. Russell answers the phone, and you can hear the man smiling through the phone as you ask after his wife. It turns out Jake's grandmother is just as blunt but kind hearted as you had been led to believe. After a longer conversation with her, she and Russ offer you some advice and tips

You aren't wholly sure how you managed to get it all done. Eventually having to call Coyote to help you move some of the living room furniture. However, after significantly less sleep than you already get, there is a large comfy hammock in the living room. You and Javy had to sandwich Jake's large comfy chair much closer to the couch than it was previously, but y'all managed to make it all fit. 

Jake comes home from camping quietly late one night. The stubble he had been supporting before is a full-on beard now, and his hair is longer than you have ever seen it. This look is intimidating to you in lots of ways, like some mirrored version of Jake that you don't know. He offers. quick hello when he comes in from the garage, breezing past you and towards the stairs.  

Jake doesn't make it to the stairs though instead he stands frozen at the edge of the living room for five whole minutes just staring at the hammock. You watch him closely, trying to gauge his reaction. 

"It's a surprise for you." You say after the amount of time he is standing there increases to a concerning duration. Compelled to do something you explain, "I know your hammock has been one of the only places you have been able to relax."  

"This is very sweet. I appreciate it." Jake starts evenly. It's contradictory as you see him grit his teeth, and his fists clench and unclench at his sides. 

"You don't like it?" You ask him.

"It's not that," Jake tries to explain. "It's just you can't randomly switch the living room around and add new furniture like this." 

Your mouth drops open in shock. This might be one of the first times Jake has ever told you there is something you can't do in the house. It's jarring, he has always spent so much time tailoring everything to your likes, desires, and aesthetics that you hardly even think about the house as Jake's and Jake's alone anymore. Frustration bubbles under the shock twisting into anger at the situation. You were trying your best, doing all the things you thought you should, and it still didn't seem like enough. 

"That is so rich coming from you for so many different reasons Jake." You say agitated, rolling your eyes. 

"Why are you upset?" Jake asks you, finally looking away from the living room. 

"Why are you upset?" You parrot with emphasis. 

"Well, what did you expect? I left for a few days and now there is a hammock in the living room. That's an outdoor item you brought indoors," Jake responds snappily. It pushes you right against an edge that you are unfamiliar with living on now. You had forgotten how it was to live in a hyper aware state, trying to manage and monitor someone else's emotions. 

"You act like you haven't done the same thing," you tell him, gesturing frustratedly at the juniper chest. "I was doing something nice for you. However, if you don't like it, I'm sure you're more than capable of taking it down and moving your furniture back and fixing your living room."  

You leave Jake in the living room and go to the kitchen. He grumbles to himself upset which makes you feel even more on edge. However, you refuse to let Jake blowing back into the house prevent you from finishing the dishes you had been stacking and putting away. 

"It's our living room," he finally calls back to you.

"You aren't acting like it."

"You could have given me some warning," he reasons, but it has a slightly accusatory tone. 

"When Jake?" You ask him, upset. "When you called me and told me you were coming home? When you text? How exactly was I supposed to let you know?"

He doesn't have an answer and you slam the door of a cupboard harder than you intend. Inside, the stack of bowls were more precariously placed than you thought. The cupboard closes and bounces back open, the bowls ejecting and crashing hard against the ground. Several of them shatter when they make impact, sending ceramic shards flying across the area. 

You aren't expecting the sound to trigger you. It most likely does because of how high strung and worried you already are. The house is such a safe comforting space you don't really have a game plan for when PTSD attacks hit you here. A chill makes its way up your spine, while the sound of shattering glass rings echoing in your ears, for much longer than it echoes in the room. It's all it takes for some flip to switch in your head. 

Managing to take small gasping breaths, you try to assess the damage of the sharp ceramic pieces around you, categorizing how many bowls had broken. It doesn't help you to fight off sudden panic that is creeping in when you notice one of the destroyed bowls was one Miss Celeste had made for Jake. It was a soup bowl stamped with a silly song Jake liked to sing anytime he used it. Distantly you hear Jake calling your name but can't fully process it. He is stepping towards you, fear rings through your body, and instinctually you go to step back away from him. Flinching hard every one of your muscles feels like it's attached to a live wire. Your fight or flight mode activated but you are still mostly frozen in the middle with short panting breaths, your eyes flit across the room trying to find a suitable escape path. 

"Sugar, please don't move. Just stay right there. It's okay." Jake is repeating, holding his hand up, showing you his open body language. Your breaths continue to come out gasping, but eventually you are able clear the cloudiness up enough with the help of Jake's soothing.  

"Jake, help," you whimper. Training your eyes on Jake you think that he is the only available escape, from the glass around you and this attack. At your words, his whole face shifts overcome with a serious ‘get things done’ demeanor.

"Are you hurt?" He asks calmly. You can't answer him just offering a shaking shrug. "Stay right there for me, Sugar. Okay?" 

Jake is shoving his feet into some boots, then crunching through the broken ceramics and glass before picking you up. He carries you to the living room, setting you down on top of the closed puzzle table. Once you are there, he kneels in front of you. Picking up each of your feet, Jake carefully examines them for injury. Then gives the rest of your body a scan; he is clearly relieved to find that there weren't any cuts. 

"Wait here." He orders you gently, walking back to the kitchen and setting about cleaning the mess. 

"I can clean that," you try to tell him in a weak attempt for Jake to stop.

"You just stay there looking pretty and take some breaths, sweets." He responds from the kitchen. You decide to give in, which is probably for the best with the way the numb panic is still very present at the edge of your consciousness. Your heart is still beating erratically as well. 

Jake is expedient and thorough about cleaning, going through the whole kitchen and dining room with his shop vacuum searching for any hiding slivers. When finished he makes his way to the living room and crouches by your side again sighing heavily. 

"I'm sorry," he says, setting his large warm hands on your knees.

"I'm sorry," you apologize as well. "I should have waited and asked you before changing the living room."

"You don't need to ask. I've just been on edge and wasn't expecting it. I do appreciate the thought. And you know I do love hammocks so, I'm sure I'll love it."

"We don't have to keep it," You remind him.

"We are taking it for a trial run," Jake responds. Then a few moments later he lets out a heavy sigh and says, "You know we are doing it all already, right?" 

"What's that?"

"It" Jake says gesturing with his free hand in the air. "We fit together. We're," Jake takes the slightest pause, his hand grips yours so tight you almost ache, then he drops it completely. "A bridle joint or maybe, a box joint." 

"We aren't ever going to fit with anyone else are we?" You ask him, clarifying. 

"No, we aren't. I think it might just be this, Sugar. It's just us." Jake says the words like a confession, an admission, an honest reality. 

You try to analyze the look in his eyes, but over anything else all you can focus on is how tired he is. You pick Jake's hand up again. Standing from the couch, pulling him with you. Jake asks no questions; he just follows you as you guide him. You tug him with you to each of the doors as you make sure each one is locked, jiggling them to be sure. Then he follows you to the kitchen as you grab two of his glass water bottles. You hand one to him and take his, gripping it tightly while his other hand remains loose in yours. 

You keep leading him then as he follows you up the stairs. Finally, You open the door to his room, and freeze in the doorway. A gasp catches in your throat. It's empty. The whole room. Not a mattress or a bedframe, no side tables or a dresser. It's all gone. There is one chest, a basket with some blankets, and one pillow. Jake stands close behind you, and you hear him audibly sigh into your ear. 

You take a deep breath to steady yourself and pull Jake through the room, leaving no room to address the issue and heading straight to the bathroom. You turn on the water for the bath and let the tub start filling. Turning to Jake and finally, let go of his hand. He looks lost at you, and you bring your hand up to lift his chin up a little higher. Jake takes your direction and those gorgeous sea-glass green eyes look at you. 

You tug at his shirt twice before he follows the movement and pulls it off. You step out of your own pants but otherwise stay clothed. Jake follows you sliding off his jeans. You go to Jake's bath chest still in place and grab a scent you think will be soothing, adding it to the bath. 

You reach to pull down his boxers, and he shakes his head in a small no. When you start to pull off your shirt, Jake's hands stop you there too. He gives you a pleading look, and you shrug back, leaving your shirt in place. You motion for Jake to get in the bath, and he wordlessly does as you say. Making room for you between his knees, Jake scoots until he hits the back of the tub. You step into the warm water and slide down to settle in.  

Jake's head falls forward so his forehead presses into the space where your shoulder and neck meet, taking deep breaths. You shudder, feeling the air of his breath against your neck. Jake's large hands are gripping the side of the bathtub hard. You are shocked that the feeling of the wet clothes sticking to your skin hasn't rocketed you out of the bathtub. But like it often is, it's hard to focus on anything that's not Jake when he is this close to you. 

After a while, when Jake lifts his head and leans back, you do as well, leaning into his chest, his arms slide around you, pulling you even closer, as you draw imaginary designs on one of his forearms. 

"What's it mean for us?" You finally ask him. 

"I'm worse than I was before," Jake says to you quietly. 

"Before me?" And that actually makes you want to cry because it sounds so true. Things certainly would have been less variable without you around in Jake's life. No one to throw him off his routines. And before him weren't you better able to protect your heart better than this? You had been calloused and strong before. Living with Jake and in this house has been like a fine grit sandpaper buffing you so now you only have smooth soft edges. 

Has that been the way it's been between the two of you this whole time, something bad that was disguised as good? You can't come up with an answer, and apparently, neither can he. So it sits there, wilting, rotting between the two of you.

The silence is loud and almost echoes in the bathroom, with no room to hide. You finally take one of Jake's hands in yours and play with his fingers. He seems content with this, relaxing even further into the water. One of his knees occasionally bumping into you playfully, as if you could forget that he was there, as if there were anything besides Jake on your radar. 

Then he is whispering your name against your neck, right behind your ear. Gooseflesh bursts across your skin, and his beard is coarse and scratchy against your sensitive skin not having been trimmed once since it started growing. You try to shift away but his lips follow you. Tired of the game you reach a hand behind you and fist it into Jake's long hair, tightly tugging his face away from your neck. Jake gasps in response. 

You drop your hand feeling like he has been sufficiently warned from the action, which you know would have descend into tickling. Jake grabs your wrist and turns it, and then ghosts his lips over your pulse point. After two more soft kisses there he presses three to your palm, and on each finger. Each press of his lips is intoxicating even in a place as insignificant as your hand. With your ring finger Jake's kisses are three times as long and lingering. It's an action that has you slamming your eyes closed to keep the tears from escaping. He finally releases your arm and you drop your hand back into the warm water. 

Something starts to thaw out there, in your chest. The combination of the physical warmth of the bath and Jake's blazing body heat. However, it is the feeling, the emotional warmth of it that makes the difference. You tremble slightly feeling completely overwhelmed, the idea of being anywhere else or trying to move is devastating to your system. 

"Sugar pie?"

"Yes, Jakobi?" You answer back just as quietly 

"We haven't been doing so good, have we?"

"No."

"Our mental health?"

"Positively dismal. We both probably need to be institutionalized." You tell him. Jake nods along, in understanding with your words. 

"Do you think I could convince them to let us be roomies there too?" 

"Not sure even you could swing that one, honey." You respond. Jake's eyes and whole face positively light up moments after you say the words. 

"Honey?"

You hum thinking it over before smiling and nodding, "Yup."

"But that's my nickname for you," Jake says in a pouting tone but the bright expression he is wearing hasn't dimmed. 

"Yeah, and sugar, darling, babycakes, anything related to pie—"

"I called you Huckleberry pie once and—"Jake protests but you barrel onwards cutting him off. 

"Well no more honey for you anymore. You use half the sweet names under the sun, I'm allowed to have one. And I think it's honey." You cup Jake's scratchy bearded cheeks and smile softly. "You're my honey, now." 

"Why honey?"

"Because you're so sweet."

"I'm not," Jake says brokenly, all playfulness having been sucked out of him. His head is heavy in your palm as he eases into your hold.

 "You're sweet," you repeat more firmly. Then continue, "Plus I can just imagine how snug and happy you would be in those honey combs."

"Hexagons are one of the superior shapes," Jake sighs.

"Sure they ar, and you are golden like honey." You run your fingers through Jake's hair again. He shutters hiding those sad green eyes from you.  

"I never knew just how blond the sun could make your hair," You sigh when you reach the end, scratching back up his scalp to repeat the process. You are turned fully to face him now, sloshing the water a bit to settle more comfortably. However Jake doesn't move, he seems almost as if he could be a statue made of glowing gold. 

"This tan also makes no sense," you tell him, trailing your hands over his shaped shoulders. 

He squints a single eye open at you, and you freeze as if you've been caught. Instead Jake's hand's pull your knees to settle on either side of his hips. Dragging you that much closer to him. It makes your breath hitch and Jake's eyes darken, however, he still leaves a bit of space. 

"One of my grandpas was Italian," Jake says with a quirk of his lips. The single eye he had opened closed as the smile melted off his face. Your hands resume their path, after massaging Jake's shoulders you knead his neck. Which just leads to playing with his hair again. Your train of thought was lost until you noticed a small light but fresh scar on the top of his bicep. You lean forward and  gloss your lips over the skin there. Jake's hand tightens where he is holding your thighs. He takes a careful breath in through his nose, and a long exhale. He follows that up with two more shallow but steady breaths and then just like that the tension releases from his body as he releases the air out.

"Where did you learn how to breathe like that, cowboy?" You ask him, letting your thumb continue to trace the strange new scar you have been examining. 

"Oh, so, I'm cowboy now?"

"Mr. Cowboy, my honey." You coo back. Jake's eyes flutter open again, he blinks slowly at you heavily lidded.  

"You are avoiding the question." You prompt him by raising an eyebrow. 

"It's not as bad as you're probably thinking," Jake answers a moment later. 

"I'm thinking, you did a whole summer of Vipassana, and meditation in some foreign country that made you have concerns about being that white guy(™)."  

As his lips lift in response to your joke, you think Jake's dimples are some of the prettiest things in this world. Suddenly, you find it unacceptable that his beard hides any part of them from your view. You see the hint of them but it's not the same you think as you trace the shape of one. Your left hand remains pressed over the new scar you had discovered. 

"We both know I could never do vipassana."

"I have evidence to the contrary," the words fall from your lips before you can stop them, and you regret them instantly. 

"Don't be mean to me," he begs you. In the same breath he speaks the words you are already halfway through saying, sorry.

"I'm working on leaving it I promise," You tell him.

"We don't have to leave it, we could talk about it." Jake suggests hopefully. 

"We are leaving it Jake," you say back sharply and he snaps his mouth shut chewing at the side of his cheek for a moment before responding. 

"Okay. I know I hurt you deep, and it's still fresh," Jake responds. His jaw clenches and you feel it jump.  

"So, it wasn't meditation? Is this going to be another riveting USNA story?" You ask him, steering the conversation back on a lighter track. 

"It was before Annapolis."

"Tell me more," you laugh, dropping your hold on his face, leaning forward and resting your check against his bicep.  

"You're going to laugh at me," he pouts.

"I find that an entirely likely probability," you answer teasingly. 

"I had to take friendship classes in middle school." 

"I'm sorry, you did what?" You ask Jake to repeat, trying to process this bit of information. 

"This other kid and I hated each other, and we were constantly getting into it. The worst part is we had lockers right next to each other. He accidentally hit me with his locker, and I lost it. So, I slammed his head right back and we started brawling. Anyways, long story short, our school counselor made us take friendship classes, and taught us breathing techniques. It was all bull shit, but we ended up being friends afterwards, bonding over how stupid friendship class was."

"At least you got some good breathing techniques." 

"Something like that," Jake laughs back. 

"What's this one then? It's new." you say ghosting your lips over the scar you had found again. Jake sighs, glancing at the scar himself. 

"You are going to be mad," he starts. 

"Why would I be mad, honey?"

"I got two more moles removed." The admission makes you pull back and give Jake a weary suspicious glare. 

"Have you not been wearing sunscreen again?"

"No, I've been wearing sunscreen ever since you told me about it, I promise. The Doc just asked about one of them and wanted to do a biopsy. So, I said he might as well just take them all off while he was at it."

"And?" 

"Everything came back benign. Nothing to really worry about, Sugar."

"I always worry about you, Jakers." You sigh with relief and kiss that scar again, enjoying the feeling of having your head pillowed on his arm. 

"I know, I'm sorry." Jake whispers back. You wish he had just left it as I know. 

"I don't want to make you worse, Jake."

"You don't make me worse. I am worse, no one has ever inspired me to act quite as selfishly as you have. I don't even know how to wholly be anymore without you." 

"I just want to make things better for you." 

Jake groans quietly, "Maybe someday it will finally click that you make everything better. That you are stunning, and gorgeous, and just over all the best." 

"We could clear cut a forest, and not find a single tree that's sappier than you Jake." It inspires a quirk of his lips but not the laugh you were hoping for.

"You are probably right," is all Jake says back, continuing to trace shapes into your skin. It's quiet for a long time as you two just exist together, coming down from the emotional turmoil of the night. 

Eventually, You ask, "Jake, where are you?" 

"I don't know. I don't know, Sugar," He sighs and tilts his head back letting out an exhausted breath. 

"Are you in the clouds?" You ask. He thinks before shaking his head no. 

"Are you on the ocean?"

He feels the water around him briefly then settles his hands on your skin again. "It doesn't appear so."

"Are you on base?"

"No." 

"So, where are you?"

"I know I'm here with you sugar, it just doesn't feel real." Jake answers. 

You examine him closely from his wet hair to the defined muscles of his shoulders and neck. How much muscle Jake gained deployment almost pushed him into a category you would describe as too buff, but not actually going over the edge. As you trace the shape of his face you can easily identify what one of the problems is. 

"You are being suffocated," you tell him as your fingers trace up his cheeks and around through his hair there.

"Why do you have a beard Jake?" You ask in a gentle curious tone. 

"I don't have to shave until I go back to work."

"You should shave sooner," You say encouragingly. 

"Too tired," Jake says, stretching out one of his legs in the water. 

"Do you want help?"

"You want to give me a shave, sugar?"

"I'd be willing to give it a go if you feel like it would help," you answer plainly. He thinks about it before nodding. 

"It would." 

That's all you need to hear before you are stepping out of the bath. Immediately you hate how the wet material of your shirt clings to your skin. So, you quickly rip it off and throw it into the shower. Jake groans behind you and you point a finger back at him while grabbing fresh towels and Jake's shaving kit from beside the sink.  

"It's nothing you haven't seen and you can control yourself," you chastise him. 

"But you are so fucking beautiful," Jake groans making absolutely no effort to hide the way his eyes trace over your body. 

"You were two minutes from falling asleep."

"That was before," Jake whines as you come back to the bath and he sees you in even more detail. 

You set the shaving kit to the side within easy reach and settle yourself back into the water. You sit so your bare chest is pressed against his. This makes Jake close his eyes throwing his head back  whispering a quiet "Fuck."

When his eyes open again, they are slightly dilated with lust. It makes you smile at him whispering, "hi there." 

"Hi," he breaths back.

"Hi," you say again, smiling wider. Jake can't stop himself from smiling as well, lips drawn upwards. His hands trace up your bare sides and you give him a small glare. Grabbing his chin you tilt his head back once more. 

"Yup, hold yourself just like that," You tell him, pausing to make sure he doesn't move. You start to lather up some shaving cream spreading it along this neck. 

"Have you shaved someone else before?" Jake questions. 

"Not really. So, you might want to give me pointers. I don't want to cut your pretty face." You answer with a teasing tone. 

Jake hums in acknowledgement thinking for a long moment. Then he starts to detail the intricate shaving ritual he normally keeps. You follow each one of the steps. It's a slow process, shaving him. You are worried that you will cut him or make some other mistake in the process. Jake isn't hesitant or shy about giving you sweet and gentle encouragement. 

Finally, Jake's face is free of hair again. You help wipe away the remaining product, and dab on the aftershave in his kit you brought over. Jake winces but gives you a tentative smile when you stare at him examining your work. You smile back softly, setting things down that are in your way, feeling relieved to be done. 

The two of you finish your bath before getting out and drying off. Wrapping a towel around yourself, you head back to your room changing and settling into bed. Jake follows not long after in a pair of comfy pants and a soft muscle shirt. He asks if he can join you in bed even though you already pulled the covers back while waiting for him. 

Jake takes a bit of shifting to get comfortable until he is laying on his side facing you, meeting your gaze as you shift to see him better. You lift a hand to cup his face enjoying the fresh smooth skin there. 

"Ah, there he is," you say with a soft sigh. The lines of Hangman's face are prominent and easy to follow again. A tear spills from Jake's eye and you push it away gently. Leaning forwards Jake angles his lips to barely brush over yours before he pulls back. 

"Please?" You ask him, going to follow his lips for more. 

"I don't think we should," Jake responds and snuggles his face into your neck to avoid the temptation of your lips. 

"But we fit. We fit perfectly," you whisper. 

"That's exactly the problem," Jake answers. "I won't do wrong by you again. And that means I don't want to rush anything. Are you in a hurry?"

"Does that have a timeline?" You ask, ignoring your frustration. 

"It does in a general sense."

"Care to share?"

"Sure," Jake mutters tiredly into your neck. "I think it's been going for a while. Right?"

"That's right," You answer, letting your hand drift into his long hair. It is almost all the way dry now and fluffy. He had a haircut scheduled before he started work again leaving you only a few days left to savor this. His eyes close, and a small smile graces his face. With a gentle scratch of your nails against his scalp a tiny whine tumbles out of him. Jake seems too tired to care anymore. His nose just nuzzles your neck, and he places a tiny kiss there. You sigh, and resume playing with the silky strands. 

"And how long before we have it all figured out, Honey?" You ask. 

"As I see it, the rest of our lives. So, give or take sixty-ish more years."

"We are making it the long haul huh?"

"Yes, Ma'am. We will, so there's absolutely no reason to start at a sprint." 

"I thought you had a need for speed." You tell him teasingly. 

Jake huffs into your neck, sucking in a deep breath he blows it out slowly tickling your skin. "I have a great comeback for that."

"Oh really?" 

He hums in affirmation. Then he sleepily manages to crack an eye open and looks at you, while he mumbles, "But I am a sleepy boy. Wait, no…  a sleepy man"

You chuckle and kiss Jake's forehead. "Goodnight, sleepy boy"

"Sleepy man," he tries to correct you, but the words are hardly coherent. It takes less than five minutes before Jake is fully asleep, and you aren't far off yourself. Jake is so warm, and itis so easy to match your breaths with his deep even ones. Falling into a dream where you spend sixty years with Jake, even there in your dream you realize that still might not be enough. 

… 

Read the rest of this chapter on AO3. Sorry again, Tumblr wouldn't let me put it all here (and that it's so long). My first reblog of this here on Tumblr has the other half as well.

#jake seresin x reader #hangman x reader #house we share #jake seresin x you #hangman x you #gci3 #good comes in 3

[vsnyarbll]

never enough pt 2

part 1

pairing: Aegon II Targaryen x fem!reader

words: 4.105

summary: Aegon is trying to get reader to forgive him after breaking her heart.

warnings: NSFW (not detailed/making out), angst/fluff, targcest

a/n: English is not my native language.

Both Aegon and Y/N had locked themselves in their rooms.

It had been two weeks since the two of them had argued in the garden. No one had seen either of them in the castle for two weeks.

Y/N had welcomed Jace into her room at the end of the week, but no one knew what state Aegon was in.

The only people who came in and out of his room were the servants. But he hid from them too.

When they came to his room, he would either hide under his sheets or stand in front of the window and hide his face from them.

They were pleased that Prince Aegon wasn't talking to them.

Baela stopped at the door to Y/N’s room. She was holding illustrated history books. Y/N had been looking for them in the library since they arrived at the palace, but she couldn't find them.

No one knew what had happened, but it was clear that something was going on between Aegon and Y/N.

Baela went over her conversation with Jace in her head again. Jace allowed her to go to her room on one condition.

Aegon was not to be mentioned.

Jace had told Baela dozens of times not to tell Y/N to talk to Aegon. The longer Aegon stayed away from his sister, the better.

Baela entered without knocking. Y/N was sitting at her desk, reading a book. There was a big glass in front of her. Baela guessed it was wine because she looked disheveled. Even though it was late afternoon, she had not yet changed her clothes or done her hair.

She looked up at the girl standing in the doorway.

"Why didn't you knock?"

"So I could see you like this."

"What do you want, Baela?"

The girl didn't answer for a while and looked at Y/N's face.

Annoyed by the silence, she returned to her book.

Baela glanced around the room.

Her room was not untidy, but there were signs that she had not left it for two weeks. The bed was unmade, and there were plates and glasses in certain parts of the room.

"May I sit?"

She answered without looking up from her book.

"I don't think you want my permission to do anything in this room."

With a sigh, Baela walked to the table and sat in the chair directly opposite her. "I brought you some books."

"Thanks."

She took the books from her and began to read them.

Indeed, Baela knew her very well.

She had brought her the books she couldn't find.

The book was about the conquest and what happened until her grandfather became king. She could see how the painters had painted the faces of the conquerors, even if they were not entirely realistic.

"What exactly happened between you and Aegon?" She might have made a promise to Jace, but he was a man, after all. He wouldn't know how to handle a situation like that.

Y/N felt a little anger at being interrupted from reading the book. "Ask me directly what you want to know, Baela. You don't need to linger."

"I asked you exactly what I wanted to know."

Y/N closed her book and looked at the girl. "He made it very clear that he didn't like me."

"What happened between you two before he said that?"

Y/N thought for a while about what to say. She needed to talk to someone about what had happened. But she didn't want them to think she cared about Aegon.

"After dinner, we went to his room and-" She swallowed before continuing. "And I kissed him. It's nothing important, alright?"

"If it's nothing important, why have you been holed up in your room for the last two weeks?"

Y/N didn't want to look at Baela's face. So she started playing with the rings in her hand. It was a habit she had inherited from her mother.

"I thought he cared about me. I'm so stupid, aren't I? I thought someone I hadn't seen in years cared about me." She smiled bitterly. "What makes me feel even more stupid is that I thought Aegon Targaryen cared about someone other than himself."

Baela reached out and took her hand. "I'm sure he cares about you. Maybe he's scared or doesn't know how to express his feelings."

Y/N looked up and looked her straight in the eye.

"I can't say you're any good at it either." She smiled for the first time in two weeks. But her smile faded again with her thoughts.

"If he cared about me that much, he'd come and talk to me. He could at least try to tell me how he feels. You don't have to fool yourself and me for nothing."

"You're right, Y/N. But this thing between you two-"

"There is nothing between us. I don't want to tire or upset myself thinking about him anymore. If you have nothing else to say, you may leave."

Baela sighed at her stubbornness. "I asked the servants to bring fruit to your room. If you don't mind my presence, we can eat together."

She looked at her friend's face and smiled. "Of course, we can eat together, as long as you don't mention Aegon."

”I won’t.”

"Good. I hope you asked for peaches."

"Peaches and strawberries."

xxx

After finishing their fruit and chatting for about an hour, Baela left Y/N alone with her new books.

Once out in the hallway, she walked quickly toward Aemond's room. He was just on his way out when Baela came to the door of his room.

"Did you talk to her?"

"Yes, I did."

When he heard her answer, he grabbed her arm and pulled her into his room. He checked to see if anyone was in the hallway and closed the door. "What did she tell you?

"Not much. I think Y/N kissed him, and then Aegon told her he didn't like her."

"That is a situation that is likely to happen."

"They're both so stubborn."

Aemond nodded.

"Why are you so interested in this?"

"Aegon is my brother, and Y/N is my friend. You may think I'm acting out of character, but I care about them."

This time Baela nodded. They both looked at each other's faces in silence. "If you have nothing else to say, I'm leaving. I need to check on Jace."

"Alright, you may go. I will talk to Aegon. This whole thing has gone on longer than it should have."

The two of them hadn't had many conversations before, so they didn't know how to treat each other.

Baela nodded, not finding anything else to say or do, and they left the room together.

xxx

"Aegon!" Aemond shouted as he entered the Prince's chambers.

"Why are you shouting, Aemond?" said Aegon as he buried his head in his pillow. A girl was lying next to him.

Cassandra Baratheon.

She recovered the moment she saw Prince Aemond enter. She looked at Aegon, waiting for him to do something. But Aegon didn't care about anything. He was almost asleep again.

"Leave us please, my Lady," said Aemond.

"Yes, my prince," she said and got out of bed. Inwardly Aemond thanked the gods that she was clothed.

Cassandra Baratheon took her book from the bed and left the room.

"How can you keep behaving like this?"

"How have I been behaving, brother?"

"Perhaps I should stop defending you, Aegon. I can no longer find excuses to cover up your mistakes."

Aegon opened his eyes and sat up in bed. The sheet was down to his waist, exposing his naked torso. "Fine. I never asked you to cover up my mistakes. This whole thing is something you started all by yourself."

"And now I'm to blame for trying to show people that you're not so bad?"

"Exactly. If you had left me alone, everything would have gone as it normally does."

Aemond looked at Aegon in amazement.

He thought of the sacrifices he had made over the years.

He hadn't tried to correct the rumors, but at least he had tried to keep Aegon on good terms with his mother. He had taken a few things upon himself, so she would not be too hard on Aegon. And yet here he was being insulted for trying to help him.

"And what explanation do you have for Lady Cassandra being in your room?"

"I don't have to have an explanation."

Aegon rose from the bed, wearing the same breeches he wore when he rode his dragon. "Were you going dragon riding?"

Aegon reached across his desk for the wine and two glasses. As he filled them, he remembered his night with Y/N and felt sad. He knew he had been unnecessarily mean and uncaring to her, but he had never felt that way before. He had never known what it was to love before, and he didn't know what to do when he suddenly felt too much.

"Yes, and then Alessandra came to my room."

"Her name is Cassandra."

"Whatever it is." Aegon handed one of the glasses to Aemond.

"Aemond, I am no fool. I can understand why you are here. But it is up to you whether you believe me or not. I didn't invite Cassandra to my room."

"Did she suddenly want to come to your room, then?"

Aegon drank all the wine from the glass and set it on the table. "I think Otto sent her. You know how he likes to use sad girls to gain access to princes and kings."

Aemond clenched his jaw.

"She came and started reading to me out of the blue. People's idea of fun has changed a lot these days."

Aemond clutched the wine glass Aegon handed him. His knuckles grew whiter and whiter. Aegon's relaxed demeanor was driving him to the brink of madness.

He put the glass back on the table. "Aegon, aren't you going to explain to Y/N why you treat her like a common whore?" he said through his teeth.

It was no longer about Aegon's treatment of Y/N.

It was Aegon's ridiculous behavior.

As soon as Aemond finished his sentence, Aegon grabbed him by the collar. Aemond refused to let his nerves get the better of him. But Aegon's face was about to turn red with anger. "You love her, don't you? That's why you don't like the way I treat her?"

Aemond grabbed both of Aegon's arms. But he did not push him away.

"You took away everything I loved, everything I wanted. My mother's love belongs to you and you alone. Now Y/N is in love with your stupid grin and your long silver hair."

He tugged at Aemond's collar. "Even the maids in the halls laugh at me now that you let me ruin my name."

"I thought you were happy to have your image ruined."

Aegon smiled bitterly. "I thought so too, but- but I'm trying to get better, don't you see?"

Aegon looked away from his brother. "For her," he said in a low voice.

Aemond pulled Aegon away and sat him on the bed. Aegon kept his eyes on the ground.

He felt himself sinking into a sense of helplessness he had been trying to ignore for two weeks.

"Look at me, brother."

Aegon raised his eyes to Aemond’s face.

He had been in this situation too many times.

His mother usually found him like this when she came to his room to scold him.

"I love her, but not in the way you think."

He took a deep breath. He did not like to express his feelings. "The night I lost my eye, she came to me even though her brother was responsible. She was the only one."

He studied Aegon's expression for a moment. "My mother was in her room trying to figure out how to calm my father's anger at her for losing her temper."

He looked around the room for distractions for a while but found none. "You were drunk in a corner again. I can remember our grandfather could barely find you."

Aegon felt sad and regretful.

"She was the only one with me, comforting me through the night. I thought I would never sleep again, but her fingers in my hair made it easier to fall asleep. "

Aemond looked at his brother, who was already looking at him. "Of course, I'll be there for her when you treat her like a whore. At least that way, I can repay her."

Aegon took a deep breath. "I screwed up again, didn't I?"

"Yes, but you can fix it."

Aegon lay down on the bed again. "How do I do it?"

Aemond took Aegon by the arm and lifted him. "First, you will get dressed. And then you're going to apologize to Y/N."

"You've been helpful," he said mockingly.

"What am I going to wear?"

Aemond looked at him in disbelief.

"Don't look at me like that. I'm just excited," said Aegon.

Aegon chose some clothes he thought were beautiful. It took him longer than usual to get dressed because he couldn't stop his hands from shaking.

He spent a long time combing his hair and applying expensive oils he liked the smell of on his neck.

As Aegon left the room, Aemond called after him. "She told me she loves you."

xxx

Aegon's heart had been pounding ever since he heard Aemond's words.

Y/N had not only said she loved him, but she had also said it to Aemond.

He ran into the corridor where her room was. He knocked on her door several times, but there was no answer.

"Y/N," he said. But there was still no answer.

When Aegon looked around and saw no one, he opened the door. The room looked empty.

He took a few steps inside, and her scent filled his nose.

He closed his eyes and inhaled the scent for a while.

Then he walked to the center of the room. Her desk was full. A few history books are on the table.

He saw her nightgown thrown casually on the chair and picked it up. The idea of it hugging her curves excited him again. She could wear that nightgown while lying in bed while reading a book. And Aegon would watch her, fascinated.

He knew that if he stayed in her room longer, he would suffocate from fantasizing about her.

"My prince," someone said. The voice was, unfortunately, not Y/N's.

Aegon threw the gown back on the chair in worry.

Y/N's maid was standing in the bathroom doorway. "I'm looking for Princess Y/N. Do you know where she is?"

The girl put down the bucket in her hand and walked over to the princess's table. "I think she went out into the garden for some air, my prince," she said as she picked up the books on the table.

Aegon nodded and left the room.

He felt like he was reliving everything he had experienced two weeks ago. But this time, it was going to be different.

He was going to be very careful with every word he said.

As he reached the outer door, he realized it was raining outside. He decided to go back inside but stopped when he saw Y/N in the garden. She was wearing a summer dress. The fabric was thin, and she must have been cold.

He walked into the garden. It wasn't raining too much.

Aegon came up to her, but she didn't notice him. She was picking the dead petals off the flowers. It was probably just something she did to take her mind off things.

Some of Y/N's hair was wet and stuck to her. He almost gasped at the sight of her.

"Y/N," he said in a soft voice.

She jumped a little and turned to him. When she saw Aegon, her gaze was soft but instantly hardened.

How dare he come to her?

She wanted to hide behind the trees or run inside, but she wondered what Aegon would say.

And she desperately needed Aegon to make amends for his mistake two weeks ago.

"I do not think you wish to be seen with me, my prince," she said and turned back to the flowers.

"Y/N, please look at me. I want to talk to you."

"I apologize, my prince, but I am busy."

"Y/N, please-"

"What is it?" she said fiercely, turning to him again. "Have you come to insult me again?"

She knew that Aegon was difficult to understand, the most complex person she had ever met. She also knew that his moods were complicated and that he was in a constant state of sadness. But that still didn't justify what he had said in the garden. Y/N wanted him to apologize and explain himself.

"No. I came to apologize."

"I don't want your apology. Go away."

Aegon looked at her in despair. "As your prince, I command you to listen to me," he said. "Please."

If anyone else had heard him say 'please' so much, they would have been shocked and thought something had happened to Aegon.

The girl frowned, thinking Aegon was being arrogant. He came to apologize, and at the same time, he was using his power to order her around. "As you wish, my prince," she said, crossing her arms.

Aegon thought he was sinking deeper and deeper, but it seemed the only way she would listen to him. "I didn't mean anything I said that day. The possibility that you could love me seemed so remote that it seemed like I was in on a joke."

Aegon wanted to reach out and hold her, but he restrained himself. "Y/N, I don't know how to express my love. Even now, I can't think of what to say without making a fool of myself in front of you."

Y/N's gaze softened a little, her arms falling to her sides. "What I said when we were in my room was the truth. You excite me. Just thinking about you makes me feel things I don't want to exist. Because amid all the chaos in my life, I don't know how to control my love for you. I don't know how to protect you from all this chaos."

Aegon reached out and took Y/N's hand. "If you are with me, I can find a solution to everything. I can find ways to make you feel my love."

Y/N squeezed Aegon's hand in hers. She wanted to say nice things to Aegon too. But she was afraid that he might have lied. "You know what they say. If a man wants something, he will say and do anything to get it. I don't believe you."

A sense of panic gripped Aegon. She was right. Aegon did not know how to regain her trust after everything he had said. His clothes were almost completely soaked, and he was cold. The front strands of his hair stuck to his face.

Aegon took off his jacket and put it around her shoulders. Y/N wanted to give back, but she didn't. It felt good to feel Aegon's warmth through the coat.

"Y/N, I've lived in Aemond's shadow all my life. I'm not trying to justify myself, but when you mentioned him, my blood boiled. I was afraid I'd lose you to him, too."

Y/N wondered what would happen if Aegon was honest. After all the years she had tried to reach him, he was here.

Aegon dropped to both knees.

He took her hand, this time with both hands. "I am trying to change for you. I will be a better man. I will try to be the best husband I can be for you, and I will be."

The thin shirt he was wearing was completely soaked and stuck to him.

Y/N cupped Aegon's face with her free hand. She didn't want to resist. Aegon involuntarily lowered his head into her hand.

"I don't want you to change yourself, Aegon. You are perfect as you are. I love you for who you are."

Y/N grabbed Aegon by the arms and pulled him to his feet.

She wrapped her arms around Aegon's neck. He held her waist tightly.

She had decided to give Aegon a chance, but if he blew it, she would handle it herself, not leave it to Jace. "If you hurt me again, I'll feed you to my dragon," she whispered in his ear.

Aegon smiled. "I wouldn't dream of upsetting you."

Y/N pulled her head back but did not take her arms off his neck. She looked into Aegon's eyes. "You are everything I could have imagined."

Aegon felt his eyes well up. He might even have shed a few tears. But luckily it was raining. Neither Y/N nor Aegon could tell the difference.

Aegon dared not take his gaze from her eyes. It was as if she would disappear if he looked away for a second.

Her presence in his arms was unreal.

"I'm supposed to be saying nice things to you."

"You'd better get used to it."

"I think I can."

Aegon began to caress her waist with his thumbs. "May I kiss you?"

Y/N pulled Aegon to her by the neck. "Please."

Aegon pressed his lips to hers. The rain got heavier. Y/N was having a moment exactly like the books she had read.

Aegon's lips moved to her chin and jawline. He kissed where her neck met her chin. Y/N moaned slightly, and Aegon's grip on her waist tightened.

Y/N almost moaned again at Aegon's grip on her waist.

Aegon kissed her jawline again. Y/N threw her head back to make room for Aegon. Aegon licked a long line from her collarbones to her chin. Y/N felt herself melting in Aegon's arms.

He wrote down in his mind all the points where she had reacted. He would return to them many times later.

All Aegon wanted was to make her feel his love. And from her reaction, he thought he had succeeded.

Y/N stepped back. "Do you want to move to a more private place? I think we've shown the castle folk enough."

Aegon chuckled. "Which of our rooms would you like to move to?"

"Which of our rooms is closer?" Aegon took her hand, and together they walked into the castle.

They smiled as the warm air hit their faces as soon as they entered. They didn't even realize how cold it was outside.

Y/N’s smile froze on her face the moment she saw Jace. Next to him was a grinning Baela and an expressionless Aemond.

Jace was literally about to turn a tomato-like red.

"Brother," Y/N said.

It was clear that Jace was ready for an angry reply.

Aegon squeezed Y/N’s hand reassuringly. Aegon was about to speak when Y/N interrupted. "Jace, we've talked about everything. I love him, and he loves me."

"And you only realized you loved her after you broke her heart and made her suffer for two weeks?" He asked to Aegon.

Aemond looked at his brother briefly. "Jace, I assure you, Aegon was just as bad for two weeks."

Jace laughed nervously. "Was Cassandra Baratheon in this morning part of your brother's sad days, Aemond?" he said, looking directly at Aegon.

Y/N wanted to let go of Aegon's hand, but he wouldn't let her.

"Nothing is as you think."

Y/N felt her heart shatter again.

She was angry but more at herself than at Aegon. How could she have believed him?

Y/N was about to shout at Aegon when she heard Otto Hightower's voice from behind. "I sent her to Prince Aegon's room, and nothing happened between them. Except for today, Prince Aegon was completely alone."

Marrying his grandson to Rhaneyra Targaryen's daughter was a better option for him than marrying him a Baratheon.

Y/N looked at Aegon. He nodded desperately.

Y/N was a little relieved, but they would talk about it later.

"You're not just saying that to back up your grandson, are you, my lord?"

"No. I have witnesses. You can even speak directly to Lady Cassandra, princess."

Y/N felt a sigh of relief. She took Aegon's arm and pulled herself closer to him. "I hope you have a good explanation."

Jace's anger still hadn't subsided. "But-"

"Great news! What season would you like to get married?"

Y/N and Aegon turned at the King's voice.

The Queen, the King, Princess Rhaenyra, Lord Otto, and Prince Daemon stood side by side.

Y/N blushed, thinking they had seen their little interaction in the garden.

"How long have you been here?"

"Long enough to see my nephew stick his tongue down your throat," Daemon said.

#aegon targaryen #aegon targaryen angst #aegon targaryen x reader #aegon x you #aegon targaryen x you #aegon ii targaryen #aegon ii fanfic #aegon x reader #aegon ii x reader #aegon targaryen x y/n #aegon the elder #aegon targaryen fluff #house of the dragon #hotd aegon #hotd

[starsomens]

so.....pissed Noah huh? :3

again the concert was disrespectful, please have respect for them and any other artists at their shows but HERE WE GO!

"Y/N, I'm done with the conversation please. I have too much to work on" Noah said still working away at his computer

"Oh yeah you're work I forget, the same thing you do every other day, and I can't forget about your off days when you aren't even home!" you argue back

This is all started with him cancelling date night after you reserved your favorite place and even got a new dress you thought he would like! This is the 4th time and it was starting to piss you off.

The argument started with how he had no time for you and it just started to progress, but you were stubborn and need the last word out.

"Well maybe because i actually have a life and a career and I don't spend every breathing second attached to you like some lost puppy!" he said as his words filled with venom

"Oh...is that so?" you cross your arm

"Yeah, sorry to tell you the hard truth" he shrugged

"Alright" you walk out of the room and he stands from his chair

"Where are you going?" he asked as he heard you grab your keys and purse

"Out, I'm going to go and enjoy the reservation without you. So you can stay here and fuck your music and have with that okay? okay"

You have no idea how he had got down the stairs so fast but as soon as you open the door, his hand comes and slams it shut. You turn around and his hand comes up to slam you against the door by your throat. It wasn't enough to hurt you, but it was enough to show you he was seriously pissed off.

He just stared at you "Noah...look I-I-"

"Knees. Now." his voice was stern and demanding and it sent shivers through your whole body. He Just stared you down until you slowly sunk to your knees. "take it out." he directed you. You bring the band of his sweats down enough just under the bulge in his underwear. Your hand takes his hard dick out and you gave it a few pumps and look up at him through your lashes

"Put that pretty mouth to work." you lick your lips and give the head a small lick before licking the underside from bottom to top. His fingers run from the front of your hairline to the back and gathered your hair in a ponytail. You take him into your mouth slowly, you mouth filling inch by inch. He sighed as his grip tightened as your head started to bob slowly. "Fuck...that's right...apologize" he said with a small thrust into your mouth

"hm?" you hum looking up at him confused

"You're apologizing with your mouth, princess," he said as a sinister smile crossed his face "fucking take it slut."you continue bobbing your head on him, drawing out moans and pants from him. Even if he can be forceful when he's upset, you did like the way he was so dominant. Over all you finally got what you wanted from today. You close your eyes and continue to suck him off.

"I know what you were doing," he said "trying to piss me off, so I could...fuck...take it out on the pussy" he huffs, his hand sliding into the roots of your hair and he grips it "You love that shit don't you?"

You didn't respond so he thrusts into your mouth causing you to gag a bit "answer me princess."

"mhm" you hum as best as you can

"Good slut," he smiles "now, open or me princess" you stop bobbing your head as he brings his dick out and back in as he fucked your mouth. Your fresh make up running down your eyes as the tears spilled from your eyes

"Yeah just like that...keep those eyes on me..." you could feel yourself clench around nothing as his hips rocked into your mouth. The taste, the girth, his dominance, god you wanted him to take you already. take his anger out on you, in you!

"Shit, I'm gonna cum," he said squeezing his eyes "make me cum, princess...maybe I'll forgive you" he pants

Your take some of him in your hand and the rest in your mouth and hallow out your cheeks as you. You could hear getting closer as his moans became shorter. His forearm held him up against the door as he pumps into your mouth and cums down your throat. His hips stutter as spirts wash down your throat

"Oh...fuck....shit" he pants he looks down at you still on the floor, your eyes and nose a bit runny, make up smudged and running down your face. He did write the lyric for a reason

"come on princess," he said giving you his hand. even though he was mad at you he did feel a little bad for going so rough, "I'm sorry I went so rough."

"It's okay" you said trying to wipe your face from the make up

"How about we go back up stairs and I fuck that pussy the way you like huh?" he whispers in your ear as his hand came down to caress and spank your ass. Harder than usual making your jump

"Ow! Noah!" you whine

"maybe I'm still a little pissed at you" he chuckled "But I loved how you looked on your knees for me in that new dress"

"mhm, you're lucky I think you're sexy mad"

#noah sebastian #bad omens #bad omens cult #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian smut #the thoughts took over

[mysticalsoot]

reconciliation and forgiveness

part 2 of 'peer pressure and canned beer' // bs au

➸ note; so- it's not Halloween themed but it is a fic I've been procrastinating finishing for five months (basically no motivation for it-) but it's now complete and I have some more wips for this au that I'm working on!! i couldn't keep it to myself any longer so- yeah here I am!! also!! please let me know if you want to be added to the bs au taglist or my main taglist

➸ pairing; bs!au wilbur gold/soot x gn!reader

➸ summary; after convincing from your other crew trainer and a couple weeks of a break; you finally decide to talk it out with wilbur on what happened that night (can be read as standalone but context from part 1 would be good as well!)

➸ warning; angst, hurt/comfort, I easily forgive Wilbur, that's my own problem, kissing, mentions of being drunk/hungover, probably swearing, tension but not good tension

➸ age-rating; 15+

➸ wordcount; 2.9k

part 1

main masterlist

---

Your hope somehow turned into a manifestation, and thankfully, Wilbur got stuck in sickbay--after Grace had dragged him there, of course following a very very long drawn out lecture that he most definitely deserved. You wanted to lay in bed and rot, you didn't want to talk to anyone, speak a single word or even open your eyes. You managed to get away with that for the first half of the day, and you hummed when you felt the bed dip beside you. Your dad was here.

"Kiddo.. how are you feeling?" You open your eyes, watching as his lips curl into a solemn smile.

"I'm not the one with a hangover." Your tone is flat and dry, you could care less for inflection at this moment. You'd rather be left alone to wither away to dust, but your dad is insistent. He isn't going to let go, he'll want to be there for you, and he always has.

"Yeah, well, when he's out of sickbay I'm going to have a talk with him and then his parents," He pats your knee, sighing before looking down and folding his hands in his lap.

"Is he.." Your voice falters as you take a deep breath and curl onto your side, "Will he get in trouble?"

Your dad shrugs, looks over at you and let's a soft smile curl on his lips before speaking, "A bit. He did break curfew, sneak out and consume alcohol. But I do know him, and I know it wasn't his idea. I'm not going to punish him as if it was his idea."

"You know it was- It was them, right?" Your father nods at your inquiry.

"It was obvious that it was, this isn't the first time they've pulled such a thing," he pauses, thinking for a moment, he rubs your hair and then sighs, “I think you should go ahead to breakfast, yeah?”

He stands up, nodding at you, bidding to see you later before leaving the room. You groan in annoyance before standing up and heading to your dorm to change. It doesn't take you longer than a few minutes to do so, not bothering with your hair before shutting your dorm door and hurrying down the stairs.

It's a Saturday morning, at least lucky for you. And perhaps for Wil too. He stays in sickbay and doesn't miss any classes. You don't have any classes to attend and you can just flee back to your room to rot, like you intended to.

Your mind sort of shuts down on the walk over to the cafeteria, numb of thoughts and feelings as your eyes drop carelessly. It's relatively bare of students, which isn't a surprise for eight in the morning on a Saturday, most kids wake up around nine or ten and don't bother to eat until lunchtime.

Unlucky for you, you're a morning bird and so is Andy. So even if you didn't sleep in his and your father's dorm, you'd still wake up to have breakfast with him.

The moment you step into line, grabbing your tray after you sanitized your hands, your mind then fell to thoughts of Wil. Mornings where you'd both stand in line and talking about everything and nothing while grabbing your food and sitting down together. Laughing and smiling and going about your days together. Something you can't quite do now, and you aren't sure if you even want to. Do you even want to be around him?

It's a valid question that you asked yourself, although you're sure in a week you'll have forgiven him and forgotten about last night. But for the moment, you feel more hurt and angry than he's ever made you. Maybe it's the fact he let himself get pressured, or maybe it's that he didn't stop May from kissing him or the words he used when you tried to help him. It was probably a combination of things, but lucky for him you can't seem to be angry at him for long.

Your tray fills up, or at least somewhat. The star hashbrowns and the pancakes shaped as moons seem to be your choice for the morning. You find a seat at your usual place, staring out the large windows and watching students and teachers walk by. Some museum guests too, admiring the newly remodeled Pathfinder. It only took them four or so years to get it fixed, so might as well admire their work.

What feels like miliseconds but was probably minutes passes by, and Andy fits a seat in front of you, smiling softly with almost a hint of sadness to it.

"How are you feeling?" He speaks so gently, like you were a kicked puppy completely incapable of doing anything.

"Why do people keep fucking asking me that? I'm fucking fine," You seethe, and you catch a glimpse of Andy almost flinching and then his mouth curves down into a frown, "Sorry," you mumble the simple apology, looking down and sighing.

"I'm just worried about you, kiddo. Y'know? We all are," He almost reaches forward to rest his hand on yours, but he holds back realizing it may not be the best idea. Words will simply have to do.

"Everyone heard, huh?" you scoff, rolling your eyes at the thought as you mess with your pancakes, not bothering to eat them quite yet.

Andy nods gingerly, "The whole floor probably."

"That's my fault, I shouldn't have provoked a drunk guy," you put down your fork, glancing up at Andy as he gazes at you, worry etched on his features.

"It's no one's fault, okay? It happened and things will be handled accordingly. Your father and I have a meeting with Evan and Cati, and the trainers for that other team. Hopefully we'll come to an agreement on what happened before we get leadership involved," He takes a bite of his own food after speaking, hoping that it'll somehow indirectly encourage you to eat. It's worked before, so why not now?

"Keep dad in check for me, yeah?" A soft smirk plays on your lips at the thought, your dad can be decently protective of his kids and sometimes gets a bit heated. He's a good teacher though, and Ethan is the same way. Cati and Andy have a handful today.

"I'll do my best, lucky for me, he's short and easily containable," He pauses, sucking in a breath as his eyebrows raise, "Mostly."

He keeps quiet for a while, watching you every now and then as you slowly eat your breakfast. Your mind wanders where it shouldn't, dabbling in thoughts that should never see the light of day, but yet they do.

Thoughts and regrets bubble up, swirling together in a dangerous concoction. Maybe you should have just kept your mouth shut. Or perhaps it would've been best if you fought him on going. The mature thing to do is to talk to Wilbur, get it over with and come to a kind agreement. But what you want to do is never speak to him again. You know you're probably being overdramatic. That it isn't worth your breath to ponder over it or be so pissed off about the situation. It wastes more energy than it's worth. Yet you can't help it, you're hurt and you're angry and all you want to do is scream at the moment.

"You should go visit Wilbur, talk to him," Andy finally speaks up, his tray already taken care of and the team's teacher binder set in front of him.

"I don't think it's a good idea," A deep sigh slips past your lips as you chew on a hashbrown you grabbed a moment ago.

"You'll never know if you don't try," He pauses, hesitating and thinking over whatever he has planned to say next, "It may be your last time to see him in person for a while. He's probably going to be suspended."

You weigh the thought in your mind, considering his words and your own thoughts and worries. It takes you a few minutes before you nod, surrendering, "Okay, fine," you let out a gentle breath, playing with your food again.

Andy smiles, nodding before standing up and taking his binder with him. He begins to walk away before stopping beside you, resting his hand on your shoulder to encourage you to meet his eyes. You do.

"I love you, kiddo. Remember that," His lips curve up softly, a warm smile meant for you. The intention meant to solidify his words. He loves you, and you're thankful of that.

"I know," you smile softly, nodding as you keep your gaze up at him, "I love you too."

He nods again, patting your shoulder before walking away and then you're left with your thoughts yet again. Letting them run wild won't do you much good, even if wallowing and rotting seems the most appealing, it isn't the best plan of action. So you take a deep breath, and stand up, walking over to take care of your tray. You run your fingers over the concrete walls, letting your mind numb itself for the walk over to sick bay.

You pray and hope this isn't a bad idea, that Wilbur won't be against seeing you. That he won't view you in the way he seemed to last night. That he'll hear you out for once and perhaps rectify what he messed up. You have responsibility in the matter as well, and you have every plan to apologize yourself. Where you can, at the least.

It's fall now, the chilly air filling your lungs and what leaves have changed now fall from selective trees. Alabama Octobers are like that, selective in its weather and what leaves fall, and what trees turn. But it's nice, it's relaxing and it gives something different even if it's annoying.

You pass underneath the Pathfinder, gazing up at it as you venture through the courtyard it's placed in. There's not many students out today, or at this hour at the least. But a few wander the campus, speaking amongst one another. A few couples make out behind bushes or behind aircraft. You turn into the covered opening, pushing the door open and entering sick bay.

A younger nurse sits at the desk and looks up at you, "What can I do for you, hun?" Her smile is sweet and soft, it's welcoming and she seems decently spry for how early it is.

"I'm here to visit Wilbur Gold?" Your voice lilts at the end, raising in question as you fidget with your fingers.

"He's over there, bunk two," she smiles and nods and you make your way over, knocking on the walls separating the bunk areas.

"Hi," you whisper, eyes glancing down at Wilbur where he sits on the bottom bunk. He looks up at you, eyes widening in a combination of shock and worry.

"Hey," he mumbles in return, putting down the textbook he had in hand and shutting it.

You hold your breath for a moment, mind wandering for a few more seconds as you wonder what to say and then it slips out, "I'm sorry, about last night."

You step into the small bunk room, fingers wringing together and tapping your fingertips together. He shakes his head, a wry laugh let out at your words.

"It's not your fault," 

You stop him short, "but I did antagonize you."

For some reason that you cant quite place, you don't have it in you to be angry, and instead you're just in a state of guilt. You should have stopped him from going, even if it wasn't your job to protect him.

"So? I was the drunk asshole who kissed another girl. I'm sorry, y/n. It's my fault." He pats the spot beside him, pulling his legs up against his chest to make room for you on the small bunk.

You keep quiet, not sure what else to say as you take a seat on the other side of the bunk, keeping your gaze on the wall. Wilbur mirrors your silence, chewing on his lip, his eyes boring into the side of your face.

"I'm only getting a two week suspension," he finally breaks the silence, trying desperately to grasp at something, anything with you.

You nod softly, taking in a deep breath, you turn to him yet don't make eye contact, "Good," you stop again, standing and beginning to walk out.

"I forgive you, but- I need a bit. if that's okay?" You step through the doorway, over the threshold and turn the corner. Wilbur doesn't respond, he just lets the vacant sound of your footsteps retreating out of sickbay.

He doesn't know what he'll do with himself when he's gone, yet he's sure some wallowing will be involved.

You, on the other hand, spend the rest of the day hiding away in the Davidson center. Wilbur is on the other side of campus, packing for his two week suspension back at home. You're sure his parents had a few colorful words for him once they were called and that you were right about. His father had more things to say than his mom, of anything his dad wasn't as aware as her on how susceptible Wilbur could be to peer pressure. Wil wasn't sure if his dad even knew him anymore, and sometimes you wonder if you would have felt the same, if your dad hadn't adopted you. Maybe Charlie feels that way.

You kept to yourself for the following two weeks, talking with your sister and some of your friends but mostly keeping to yourself. You spend so much time to yourself that you're ahead with your work, which isn't too out of the picture since you mostly are on track but with the extra time to yourself; you get ahead.

As usual, your dad is proud of you, showing that outwardly but also keeping his worries to himself, watching you closely and almost acting as if you'll break if he breathes too hard. And maybe you will, you're not even sure yourself. 

Sometimes you feel like a live fuse, ready to burn and implode, but other times you just feel numb, unsure on how to process things. Yet as the day he comes back crawls closer, you find yourself growing at peace with your situation, still missing him but almost forgiving him through his absence. You kept in contact with him, but it was far and few between given your schedule with school and him sort of being a bit grounded. He did explain that was his father's doing, it made sense to you how it was.

You woke up that morning, reaching for your phone just to see the excited messages he left for you. How he was finally looking forward to seeing you again, and the plans he had for you both.

You knew he had apologies attached and that he only wanted to mutter them in person, for that, you were thankful.

You managed to go about your day quietly, tidying up your bunk before heading over to the library on campus, returning a few books you borrowed for a project, and then walking back over to the main museum. Wandering through the halls and exhibits, admiring them as if you don't pass by them hundreds of times a day. It kept your mind off everything.

Somewhere between them and now, you'd walked back to your dorm, turning into the room only to see Wilbur unpacking. You stop in the doorway, watching him make his bunk and put away his bags.

"Hey, Wil," you finally speak up, greeting him and he immediately turns to face you, smiling happily at you.

"Hey," he whispers, walking over to you and offering a hug, which you gratefully take, falling into his arms and hugging him tightly around his waist.

"I'm glad you're back," you mumble against his chest, holding yourself tighter against him, reveling in his warmth; something you didnt realize you missed so much.

"Me too," he breathes, kissing your cheek before pulling back to look down at you, "I'm sorry, genuinely. I shouldn't have let her kiss me, and I sure as hell shouldn't have snapped at you how I did. You didn't deserve any of that, and so I'm sorry."

a small smile creeps up on your lips as he speaks, rambling at a speed faster than what should be humanly possible. so once he takes a breath, you lean up to press your lips to his, letting his mold to yours as you kiss one another, the exchange beginning to build in tension. he holds his hands on your hips, pulling you flush against him as you reach your fingers to sift through the curls on the back of his head. soft whimpers and hums are shared between your mouths, his grip getting tighter as you lift yourself higher on your toes.

you take a few more moments before you both decide to break for breath, eyes meeting before you both smile and laugh, "so, am I forgiven?" he whispers against your lips, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth before swiping his thumbs over your hip bones.

"mmm.. yeah, I think so," you giggle, standing back flat on your feet before you begin to tug him towards the door.

"where are you taking me?" he speaks through soft laughs, quite happy with how things turned out, even if he got his ass handed to him.

"our spot."

he smiles at the mention, nodding as you drag him away; most likely to make out. regardless, you're both happy with how things turned out and are sure to move forward from here. you forgave him, so all that needs to happen is for him to forgive himself.

main taglist; @lcvejoy @lillylvjy @ella-fella-bo-bella @lotusanonymouse @willgoldszn @whos-nicooo @zebonos

bs au taglist; @lillylvjy @lyssys

(send an ask to be added to either list!!)

#bs dr #bs au #wilbur fanfiction #wilbur imagine #wilbur x reader #wilbur #wilbur soot fluff #wilbur soot x y/n #wilbur soot imagine #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot #wilbur x gn!reader #wilbur x you #wilbur x y/n #wilbur soot x you #bs!wilbur x gn!reader #wilbur soot x gn!reader #wilbur gold #wilbur gold x gn!reader #wilbur gold x reader

[laithraihan]

I really don't care about whatever someone ships or doesn't & I do believe you that it's not meant shippy & I think that's fine, because it's fiction so you can make up a bond between whoever you like however you like. But that goes for everyone else alike.

Art will be interpreted as soon as you look at it not after digging for the artist's own opinion, so I can't say I'm surprised that people look at it and think it's shippy first. Sure, some were annoying about it I grant you that, but I think it's because it simply comes of hypocritical to act like a ship interpretation is nuts when the art simply does look like that on first glance.

The average MP100 viewer will not interpret a familial bond between these two characters who canonically barely interacted, but you did. (& more power to you) Maybe your average follower will not interpret a romantic implication in your artworks, but others will. (& more power to them)

I really don't think people lack parental love to see it shippy, I think people simply expect parental love between, well, a parent and their child. Not someone you personally declared to be a "weird uncle" to a girl he barely knows. I didn't even want good night kisses from my actual "weird uncle" as a kid idk man.

Again, I don't see the slightest issue with the platonic relationship you make up for them. I just also get where the romantic interpretations are coming from.

Your uncle/niece interpretation sincerely is farther removed from canon than ship interpretations are from your artworks.

Interesting message so I'll answer this genuinely.

To start off: I Never once implied that it was crazy that other people would interpret this as romantic at first glance. I quite literally said that I understood the confusion because these two barely interacted in canon. Which is why Im always happy to explain my intentions. Experiences vary so what one considers normal may not be normal to someone else: I'm very much aware of this but y'all clearly aren't.

When it gets to the point where people say "this artist drew that AND said it wasn't shipping even though we can obviously tell theyre delusional and in denial", that's where the problem is. I provide an explanation, that explanation gets ignored, people either answer "lmao just admit it" or they treat me as if I'm the worst person alive and they refuse to accept they must've been wrong about their interpretations. They proceed to openly "discuss" this (by just mocking me repeatedly, nothing constructive) in a public space where they think I can't see it almost as if they forget I'm an actual person who can come across these messages at any time.

What others ship or don't ship is none of my concern, I stay away from circles I dislike. But when people constantly attempt to force me into "admitting" I'm into something that I have zero interest in out of malicious intent, then naturally it'll annoy me.

I'm sure you didn't really mean to imply that I was merely outraged at the thought of someone interpreting this as romantic if they didnt know every single thing about my headcanons which is why I'm answering you sincerely. So please forgive me for assuming the ones who compared a peck on the cheek to some nonsense like "platonic breastfeeding" have never experienced any sort of familial love growing up 💜

#asks #and whether or not you think my headcanons are 'so removed from canon' is also not an issue by itself #this is 100% me being self indulgent and i don't hide that fact #i draw whatever i want whenever i feel like it and if others dislike it then i understand #but please don't act like these people were totally oblivious when making these comments: they knew very well what they were doing

[xpeachesncream]

sticks & stones (myg) | one shot

part of the titillating touches collab

♢ genre: (18+) friends to lovers, ex-fwb, mutual pining, massage au | fluff, sprinkle of angst, smut

♢ summary: surprise! you're gifted a free massage at the nearby massage parlor called "Blissful Hands." you've heard about the parlour about once or twice, never thought about stepping foot inside to take advantage of their services. thinking you could use the massage to relax, rid yourself of any stress and built up tension, you walk into the parlor excited for your first massage opportunity. however, when you realize your masseur is no other than Min Yoongi himself, all excitement flies out the window. never did you think you'd reunite with your biggest crush in college, the one that got away. they say sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you— but in this case, you find out that words have actually ruined a lot for you and Yoongi. and stones.. well, they'll do a lot to ease that instead.

♢ pairing: reader x masseur!myg

♢ words: 18.4k

♢ warnings: i did as much research as possible on hot stone massages pls forgive me, mature language/cussing, sexually implied content, sprinkle of angst??, miscommunication, rumors and assumptions, unspoken feelings, awkward reunion lol yoongi isnt really having it at first, oc shoulda tried harder tho oof, he does have a soft spot for oc, drinking/intoxication, flashback scenes, use of pet names like baby and princess, cuddles, after care, making out, unprotected sex, missionary, multiple orgasms, use of oil and hot stones in foreplay, fingering, clit play, slight marking, sprinkle of spit play, breast play, smut on the massage table ://, pulling out, grinding, edited but unedited lolol sorry if i missed anything!

♢ note: thank you so, so much to @ressjeon​ for thinking of me and for inviting me to be a part of this collab! i had tons of fun writing this <33 also, big shoutout again to @ilikemesometaetaes​ & @jimilter​ for this beautiful ass banner! please check out the other works part of this collab, they’re all amazing and won’t disappoint!

—i also wanted to let you all know i’ll be continuing my break and i won’t be as active on here for awhile. i need a moment to rest since i’ve been feeling pretty down and unmotivated lately. just gotta take a moment to shake off this funk. but, i’ll be writing behind the scenes from time to time in between pulling my personal stuff together. 💞

♢ support me!

It's that time of the year again.

It's that time of the year again where your loved ones sweetly greet you, your coworkers shove plans and alcohol in your face because you aren't getting any younger— Immediate family reminding you where you need to be at this point in your life.

Married, with kids, doing some other job that brings in more money.

You know what it is.

No harm, they say. Just a reminder. It's your birthday for fucks sake, and they wanna give you a reminder?

Anywho, you park your car after a long day of work, just now hanging up the phone after your mom and dad had called to greet you [aka bringing up said reminder mentioned above] in the most loving way they can. You know they come from a good place, and you know that they support you either way, so you can't help but give off a tiny sigh and respond with a cute little 'yes, I know but thank you, I love you' in the end. You grabbed your purse and headed up the steps to your apartment, grabbing the mail on the way up without giving it another look as you set it near your keys at the entrance way. You immediately slip out of your heels first, then make your way into the kitchen to wash your tupperware from lunch.

It'll be a quiet birthday, and that's okay with you.

That's how you've always preferred it, anyway. Quiet, lowkey, no surprises—

"Surprise, bitch!" You pick up the call from your bestfriend, slightly bringing the phone away from your ear when you hear her scream on the other end. "Happy birthday to the love of my life and the only person I can stand! Did you open your mail yet? What are you up to today? Who is getting some of that tonight—"

"Hold on just a minute, Rissa." You nervously chuckle. "Thank you, and I love you, but one question at a time, please?" You tuck the phone against your ear with your shoulder as you put your dishes away.

"I'm sorry." She giggles. "You know I love you. I'm just sad I can't be there with you since they have me on this work trip for the month."

"It's okay." You crack a tiny smile. "How is it?"

"It's fine, same old." She sighs. "But this isn't about me, birthday girl. What are your plans?"

"You already know me." You laugh. "Keep it lowkey. Order some good, comforting takeout and pair it with red wine." You plop on the couch and put her on speaker so you can start your next 15 or so minutes just looking for food that you'll end up doordashing over.

"Mkay, really?"

"I don't know why you're so surprised."

"Guess you didn't open your mail."

"The hell is that supposed to mean?" You look towards your entrance way at the stack of envelopes.

"Can you just go and open your mail? I made sure that would get sent with priority." She laughs as you chuckle and shake your head, meandering over to the envelopes you wanted to ignore for the evening at the very least. Well, for the most part, the majority of the envelopes get flipped through and tossed to the back, especially if you already knew none of them necessarily had an urgent deadline.

Alas, you come to Rissa's envelope. Soft pink in color with 'Y/N Y/L/N' in big, bold, black Sharpie on the front— a little drawn heart attached to the end of it.

You take your finger and gently rip the envelope open, revealing a card with a piece of paper in it. You read the sweet message written by your bestfriend before pulling out the paper to read what it consists of:

One free 60 min. massage at Blissful Hands - Applies to all massage types. Redeem Now!

No expiration date.

"A free massage?" You think out loud and Rissa laughs.

"Girl, you need to relax, okay? You're always working so damn hard, you never give yourself a break. I know I had mentioned the parlor before, but I just haven't had the time to take you. I want you to go and treat yourself as my birthday present." She pauses briefly before going on again. "And don't give me that 'with what time' bullshit cause I'm gonna be on your ass until you step foot in that establishment. Trust me. I'll be annoying, you don't want that." You laugh.

"Thank you, Rissa. I love it, seriously. Maybe I could use a day to just do this and nothing else." You flip the coupon in your hand.

"Maybe, yeah." She says sarcastically. "If you aren't gonna use that unlimited PTO benefit, then let me at it."

"You're right." You shake your head. "Fine, I'll go."

"Like, tomorrow."

"No, not tomorrow."

"Before next week, though."

"Yes, damn." You laugh a little louder. "Jeez, you weren't kidding when you said you'd be on my ass."

"No, I wasn't. Besides, I spent the money so that you could have this day be all about self-care."

"Thank you." You repeat. "I love you. And I miss you dearly."

"I miss you, too. I'll be home soon and I'll make sure my first stop is your place."

"Sounds like a plan." You say softly, genuinely missing the company of your bestfriend. "I just hope you're enjoying yourself down there in between work."

"Oh girl, you know I am. Don't you even worry." She chuckles. "Seriously though, take that coupon into the parlor this week, you hear me?"

"I will."

"Mmkay. I'll let you get back to your lowkey birthday celebration. Love you to bits and pieces." She says in a sing-song tone. "By the way, there's more gifts coming your way, they're just delayed."

"What!?"

"Byeeeee!" She laughs and abruptly ends the call. You look at the phone in disbelief before slowly setting it down onto your coffee table. You pick up the coupon and look at it again, suddenly getting the urge to look through your work calendar to see which day you could call off.

No meetings, no agenda, nothing.

Just you, yourself and this massage parlor.

"Why not?" You mutter to yourself as you place the coupon back down and start looking through the rest of the week on your calendar.

You actually don't get the chance to go until closer to the end of the week— a Thursday that most people decide that they want to cancel group meetings or work remotely to focus on other urgent projects. You don't complain though, hell, you quickly put in your time off and don't look back.

That Thursday comes just as quickly as you submitted the time off request, the sun beaming straight into your room and warming your sheets through the sheer blinds. You stretch a bit, arms poking out from underneath the covers as you yawn and try to completely wake yourself up. You figured starting your day at the massage parlor could be good, maybe it'll just get you started on the right foot, maybe it'll get you to do other spontaneous, productive things that you should've done on your actual birthday. Who knows? You were just excited to have the day to yourself with no other obligations and people, emails, deadlines— whatever fucking else comes with corporate— to worry about. You get yourself washed up and ready for the day, throwing on a simple, all black biker shorts and sports bra set. You grab a hoodie in case the day is actually colder than expected, throw on some socks, tie up your sneakers and head out the door.

The establishment isn't too far, and it's nice that it's pretty convenient. You and Rissa both had incredibly busy schedules, it was almost impossible to think about a massage during a normal week at work. If it wasn't for your birthday and for her gift, you aren't entirely sure you'd ever step foot here to take advantage of their services [knowing damn well you could use it, too]. The added bonus now is the convenience and how close it is to other establishments you frequent.

Maybe you might be back after a taste.

When you walk in, it's peaceful, serene, as you expected; soft music played in the background. A lady stood near the front desk, walking the receptionist through something— you weren't entirely sure. They finally turned their attention towards you, the lady standing coming towards you with a smile on her face.

"Hey, welcome in to Blissful Hands!" She smiles. "I'm Yannie."

"Y/N." You give her a small, toothless smile as you tug on the strap of your bag. "I, um—" You flash her the coupon after pulling it out from your jacket pocket. "I have this coupon I wanted to redeem."

"Oh, fantastic! You came at a perfect time, we have lots of availability right now." She grabs some paperwork from behind the desk and walks back over to you as you sit on the clean sofa. "I'll go through these in a bit. But, I wanted to ask. Did you already have a particular type of massage in mind? If not, I can grab a pamphlet and we can go through any questions you might have in regards to our services."

"Hm. Do you guys offer hot stone massages?" Is the first that pops into your mind. It had always been something you wanted to try, especially seeing the ads and the promos at the hotels during work trips and conferences. Plus, you've heard about its benefits through word of mouth. If they were able to offer that here, why not get yourself a free hot stone massage? It might turn out to be exactly what you need.

"We sure do." She chuckles and sits next to you. "Why hot stone, if I may ask?"

"Well, besides the usual response of lowering stress, I just feel like my body is pretty.. tense? Lots of muscle tension, soreness, fatigue. I run a lot, try to get some boxing and pole dancing in. No matter how many times I go, I still feel like it's my first time." You chuckle nervously, afraid you've spilled way too much information than necessary. She didn't even ask. "Sorry, just felt like I needed to add that in there for some reason."

"No, that helps a lot. Thank you." She laughs. "I think that would be a great option for you. Our masseur is one of the most top-rated in the city." You nod, impressed. Were they now? "Here." She hands you a pen. "I just need you to fill out these medical intake forms—" She pushes the form closer to you. "And then sign these liability forms." She follows up with the last forms.

"Sounds good."

"Once you're done, I'll take you to a room to get situated before your masseur comes in." You nod once more, giving her eye contact before continuing your task of filling out the paperwork appropriately. Yannie heads back to support the front desk momentarily until she sees you walking towards her with the completed paperwork. She thanks you, takes the papers and hands it over to the front desk before nodding towards the back. "Follow me, I'll bring you to a room." You quietly follow behind, the back area of the establishment being much bigger than you expected. You pass two rather handsome and attractive males on the way to your room, both of them giving you a bright, white smile before continuing on their way. You make a mental note that maybe, this wouldn't be so bad after all.

A massage and eye candy? Shit, count me the fuck in.

You passed a line of rooms before Yannie turns towards an empty one near the end of the hallway. She lets out a breath for a moment before stepping aside to let you in, showing you to the side of the room where you could place your things.

"Hm, let me go grab your masseur so that you can be on your way, alright? You can place your things here if you'd like, but once he comes in, he'll have you undress down to your underwear and into a robe before getting you on the table." She gives you a smile before walking out and shutting your door. As you stand around awkwardly, you hear her outside asking for your particular masseur, which isn't the problem, but it's the name that catches you off guard—

"Where's Yoongi?" You hear her ask. Yoongi, as in Min Yoongi? You hoped that there was another Yoongi on this planet just to save you from making this session 10x more awkward and weird, but something inside you told you that no, he was the only Yoongi you knew of and that's exactly who this was.

Fuck.

"You have a client, she's in there already." You hear her down the hall, followed by a low 'alright.' Suddenly, the door swings open again and it's Yannie along with the Min Yoongi himself. You're caught off guard that you don't even speak. You simply look at him, eyes full of curiosity, full of question, as he with you. But, he's quick to furrow his brows before slowly walking inside, Yannie catching onto the sudden tension in the air.

"Um, this is Yoongi, your masseur." She clears her throat.

"Sure is." You say, still keeping your eyes on him.

"Have you two met before?"

"Yup." Yoongi says before turning to her with a small smile. "I got it from here boss, thanks." Yannie gives you one last smile before shutting the door and walking down the hallway to continue her previous tasks.

"Well, if you look who it is—" You say sarcastically, placing your things down onto the side. "I didn't know you worked here." You're saying things in a certain tone to make sure Yoongi doesn't see how much you're actually dreading this right now. Because you are, god, you fucking are, and you almost wish you didn't step foot into this establishment and ask for a hot stone massage.

Could've been anything else. You should have done your research before.

"Hm, there's alot of things you don't know about me anymore, Y/N." He says coldly. "Didn't think I'd ever see you here." He starts to look at the papers and gather his things together, his back turned against you.

"Yeah, well. Rissa gave me a birthday coupon." He nods silently. "H-how've you been?" You ask him, awkwardly rubbing at your arm.

"Good as can be." He says flatly before turning to look at you, no emotion to match his blank expression. You look at the way he's changed— his orange, long hair that suited him well, body built perfectly, jaw line shaped with perfection. You're pulled out of your thoughts when he turns once more, pointing towards the back of the room. "Gonna need you to undress and get into the robe. This time, might wanna keep your panties on." He gives you a look, and you aren't sure whether or not he's throwing shade at you for whatever problems you had caused him— you weren't sure. Maybe that's where you went wrong because at one point, you and Yoongi had been close. You and Yoongi had shared everything, you and Yoongi had been everything to each other. He was one of your closest friends, maybe at some points a little too close than friends normally would be, but that was your relationship with him and you both had been on the same page about it. He was always good to you, always taking care of you, always knowing what was best for you over him—

Then, it just.. stopped.

And you clearly never understood where you went wrong. At least, to your knowledge, it wasn't clear where you went wrong.

"Mmkay." Is all you say, heading behind the divider towards the back end of his room to change into the fresh, clean robe hanging on the other side of it. You slip out of your clothes, leaving your panties on as Yoongi ever so respectfully requested, and get the robe on. You tighten the strap, feeling shy around him even though Yoongi has definitely you full blown naked before.

He's touched you.

He's kissed you.

He's handled you.

It's been years, though.

"Get on the table face down, please. I'll start off with your back." He turns to you, meeting your eyes but nothing more. He's always been this way, he's always been hard to crack. You were just lucky you were able to at some point.

You do as you're told, slipping the robe off of you and tossing it aside when Yoongi turns around to give you some privacy. You lay face down onto the table, suddenly feeling Yoongi place a clean linen cloth to cover your sacrum and below. He looks at you for a minute because even though it's been awhile, he remembers everything about you, your body. He remembers the tiny mole right below your left shoulder blade, remembers the scar on your knee. He remembers where your spots used to be, where you liked to be touched, kissed.

He lets out a small huff before shaking his head at the thoughts that start to occupy his mind. There's soft music playing in the background to help ease the energy in the room, to help relax you and soothe you. And it does. Everything feels peaceful for a moment that you almost forget you're about to get a massage by Yoongi himself until—

"You ready? I'm gonna start with your back. Let me know if the stones get too hot for you." He says, dimming the lights just a bit, lighting some candles and incense.

"Mhm." You mumble. You hear Yoongi digging the stones out of the water bath, placing them gently on a towel in front of him before grabbing the oil and lathering his hands.

"I'm gonna start, alright? Gonna oil you up first." He says, his large, strong hands manually giving your back a good massage with the oil to introduce his touch, get your tissues warmed up. You immediately feel relaxed under his touch, all tension seemingly disappearing into thin air. He feels you ease up underneath him, hands with the magic touch you could almost call him Midas.

/ FLASHBACK

"Fuck." You giggle into Rissa's shoulder, red cup empty after the second, third, sixth [who fucking knows at this point] drink of the night.

"So drunk." She giggles along with you, sipping on water.

"God, I'm getting over this party though." You turn to look at your surroundings. "Look, literally no one is dancing anymore. Everyone is just standing around talking or—" You snort when you see one of your friends slumped on the couch. "Slumped."

"It's almost that time of the night, miss. We're crossing into 1AM."

"Ugh, I need to take my drunk ass home."

"No, you need Yoongi to take your drunk ass home." She lifts your chin to get you to look at her but you pout.

"You're not going home, huh?" You ask her, already knowing she was going to spend the night at her boyfriend's apartment.

"Mm, you know this." She laughs. "Your girl needs dick. Bad."

"Whatever."

"Saying it like you don't have the same fucking thought. Shame." She gives you a look.

"Where is heeeeee?" You elongate the 'he,' lip forming into another pout as you drunkily close your eyes.

"Your man's over there." She nods towards the living room, Yoongi standing along the wall with a few of his friends.

"He's not my man."

"Mm." She looks at you up and down. "Go over there before I have more shit to say." You laugh and start making your way over to Yoongi, immediately wrapping your hand around his wrist, chin resting against his bicep.

"You okay?" Yoongi chuckles at how adorable you look.

"Drunk. Just.. drunk."

"I see that." He moves his arm to drape it over your shoulders and pull you close. "Wanna get out of here?"

"Fuck, yeah. Please."

"Where to?"

"Home." You look at him and he nods. The both of you bid your farewell's to his friends before tossing your empty cups and heading out. Yoongi had one drink earlier in the night, but he had been sipping on soda onwards throughout the evening simply because he knew you needed him to take you home. In fact, he would rather let you have the time of your life and watch you have your fun instead of him. He loved seeing that side of you, loved seeing you full of life, full of fun.

It's what attracted him to you the most.

"You okay, princess?"

"Yeah, just wanna get the fuck out of these shoes." He laughs.

"Okay, almost there." He says, kissing your temple. When you finally head down the street to the car, Yoongi gets you situated in the seat before heading to the driver's side and getting himself situated. "You're not gonna yack, are you?" He laughs when he starts driving off towards your apartment.

"No, I'm fine. God." You roll your eyes and lean your head back against the head rest.

"I'm just playing, baby." He says, large hand roaming to your thigh and giving it a good squeeze. You let out a small whimper at his touch, Yoongi smirking to himself when he knows exactly what that means. "Gonna get you some water and make sure you sleep this shit off, I don't wanna hear you complain tomorrow."

"When do I ever complain?"

"All the fucking time, dude." He laughs. "Damn. You're lucky I like you." He quickly caresses your chin. The rest of the ride is quiet, nothing but the soft music playing in the background in his car, the sounds of cars passing by along with the train running through the tracks nearby your apartment building. He parks in a guest spot that's quite far, offering to carry you up to your apartment if you feel too tired. You let him know you're alright though, lacing your fingers with his as you make your way to your door. He grabs your keys, unlocks the door and watches as you stumble in and hurriedly get out of your shoes— tossing them off to the side messily.

"Thank God, ugh." You groan, falling face down onto your comfortable, comfortable bed. You hear Yoong in your kitchen, grabbing you a glass of water and going through your medicine cabinet before walking in to your room and shutting the door behind him.

"Here. Drink some water, please."

"And if I don't?" You tease, still face down against your pillow.

"I'll leave."

"That was unfair." You say, slowly sitting up to drink some of the water. His hand caresses your back as you drink, watching to make sure you get a good amount of water in you before you set the glass back down. Once you do, you immediately get to removing your clothes, tossing them aside and crawling under your sheets in just your bra and panties.

"You wanna sleep? You don't wanna stay up for a bit?" He says, grabbing the pair of basketball shorts he left behind in your closet so he can change into something comfier.

"And do what?"

"You're gonna have a headache in the morning, Y/N."

"It's fine, I'll deal with it when the morning comes." You whine. "Can you just come here and cuddle me like you typically do?" He chuckles.

"Yeah, yeah." He says, finally crawling in and throwing his arm around your waist even as you awkwardly lay on your stomach with a leg bent upwards. He begins to quietly massage your sides and down your back, fingers gently running a line down your spine. He listens to you let out a breath, body easing up under his touch like it always does. "Feels good?" He says nearing a whisper, close to your ear.

"Mhm." You let out breathily, eyes shut to feel more of his touch. You feel him unclasp your bra to work his hands deeper into your shoulders and either side of your spine. Yoongi always knew how to work his way with you, work his magic on you— so much that even this simple massage has you wanting more out of him. It's like that though. Your relationship with Yoongi was just like that. You turn to face him and his hand continues to linger on your side, giving it a squeeze when he looks down at your face, nose, down to your lips.

"Need a massage here, too?" He smirks, playing with the strap of your bra.

"You're an idiot." You giggle as he pulls you closer and completely gets rid of your bra while planting small, soft kisses along the surface of your neck. "Wasn't really planning on this, you know?"

"That's funny cause that's always the story, yet what do we always end up doing?" Your eyes flutter at the feeling of his lips against your skin. Your hands roam up to grip his hair just as he makes his way up to your jaw, cheek, kissing the tip of your nose before locking his lips with yours. You moan into the kiss as it deepens, your tongue instantly slipping into his. The only sounds that can be heard within your room are the cars passing by outside, mixed with the noises of wet kisses being exchanged.

You work your way to toss Yoongi's shirt aside, just as he works his way to hook his finger onto your panties and slip it off. You tease at his clothed, hardened cock by palming him through his shorts and he responds by feeling how wet your pussy is. You let out a small gasp when you feel his hand start rubbing at your pussy, spreading your wetness across your pussy lips.

"Just fuck me, Yoongi." You moan, already taking his cock from beneath his shorts before he can fully shred the piece of clothing.

"Yeah, I'm gonna take care of you, baby." He says, wasting no time to climb ontop of you, taking his cock and sliding it up and down your slit a few times to tease you.

"Please." You whine. "Need to feel you." He smirks and bites onto his bottom lip just as he takes his tip and breaches your entrance.

"God, you already feel so fucking good." He lets out. "So wet for me." He watches his cock sink into you, deeper and deeper, until he bottoms out completely.

"Ohhhhhmygod—" You arch your back slightly at the feeling of being full. Yoongi works at a slow pace at first, trying to get the right rhythm going as he cocks your legs wide open with his hands.

"Princess. Look at you. Creaming the fuck out of my cock." He says, looking down as he teasingly slips in and out of you. He begins to pick up his pace, rolling his hips into you as a hand grips onto your headboard to keep him steady, the other hand kept tightly on your hip. He starts to pound into you relentlessly, loving how delicious your walls feel wrapped around him tightly.

It always, always, always, keeps him wanting more of you.

"Yes, yes, yes— just like that—hmmmfuck!" You moan a bunch of jibberish together, nails digging crescents onto his arm. "Feels so fucking good." You continue to whine, whimper, begging him to keep going for you. He lowers his body so that he could run his hands up your hair, whispering praises in your ear as he strokes in and out at a steady speed.

Making you feel him, all of him, completely.

He always tells you how beautiful you are to him, how you're his baby, how there's no one who could make him feel the way you do.

How no one could ever come close to you.

And that's the one thing that always has you hurdling over the edge, reaching your orgasm much faster than expected. Because not only does he fuck you so, so good— but he praises you, knows just the right fucking words to say, knows just how to touch you in the right places.

You let out a loud moan, yelling his name as your eyes roll to the back of your head when your orgasm takes full control. His hand slides down to grip your neck, fucking you senselessly as he tries to reach his own high watching you cum all over his dick. And he does. It takes a few more thrusts, but before you know it, his lips are grazing yours, both of you letting out silent moans when he releases inside of you, painting your walls full of white ribbons.

He comes down from his high as he softens inside of you, lips pecking feathery kisses on yours before he finally pulls out and rolls over next to you. He grabs a napkin from your nightstand and gently wipes you clean before taking care of himself and throwing his arm back around you.

"You okay?" He brushes the hair out of your face before you roll onto your side.

"Definitely more sober now." You say, making him chuckle as he holds you close and kisses your shoulder.

"Good. At least I helped prevent the morning headache."

"Shut up." You chuckle.

"Anything for you." He continues to joke.

/ END FLASHBACK

After Yoongi gives your back a good introductory massage, he then turns to get the stones and holds them tightly in his palms. You feel the back of his hands work their way down on either side of your spine, all the way down to your sacrum, before coming back up. He repeats this process a few times before flipping his palms over and rolling the stones down the same path. He adds the right pressure against the surface of your skin, the heat just enough to penetrate and hit deeper into your tissue.

Yoongi doesn't even know how to feel right now with you being underneath him for a completely different reason today. And it's been years— years since you've last spoken, last talked.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't hurt all over again when he saw you.

You still looked beautiful as ever, still rocking that fine ass body with curves in all the right places. Yeah, he definitely wasn't hurt when you two ended up the way you did. He wish it never ended up that way. He wanted much, much more with you. You just never seemed to feel the same. But he couldn't dwell on it. Figured he'd just accept it and move on, even if that meant without you by his side. That was probably the hardest part all along. To be with you almost 24/7, to suddenly being without you at all. He had to do it though, for his own sake.

Yeah, he'd defnitely be lying if he said he wasn't hurt all over again when he saw you.

"Feels alright?" He dips lowly near your ear as he holds stones sideways and digs them deep into your shoulders, down your back, sacrum; always avoiding the spine directly.

"Mmm." Is all he hears. He continues to work all through your back and up to your neck before placing the stones down to rest along your spine. He places two tiny stones amongst your shoulders, guiding you to move your hand backwards one at a time, just so he can give you a good, deep, proper massage in between the scapula. Afterwards, he grabs new stones and moves down to your left leg. He uncovers it, gently massaging up and down your thigh, calf, in a circular motion with the stones, using them as an extension of his hands. He does this for awhile until he feels like he's done enough, the heat slowly moving away from the stones in his palms. So, he sticks a stone on the back of your knee where the bend is, and takes the other stone down to your foot for a soft massage— flipping the stone as needed to distribute the heat along your foot properly. Once he's finished with his final touches, he places the stone in the middle of your foot, covers the entire leg with the linen cloth and repeats the same process on your right leg.

You're sinking in and out of sleep while Yoongi massages you, all of a sudden forgetting the heated, awkward tension in the air as he continues to work his magic throughout your body. For a moment, you don't regret stepping foot into the establishment. For a moment, you don't ponder on your worries and why things feel so fucking tense between you and Yoongi. Then it hits you when he clears his throat in the background that yeah, your relationship, friendship— whatever the hell you wanted to call it— was cut off so abruptly. Seeing him made you really miss having him around. Because besides Rissa, he was someone you were able to lean on, have fun with, be yourself around.

There was no pressure with Yoongi before.

Now, there's a ton.

Pressure to, what? Fix things? Talk about things? Figure out where it went so, so wrong that he had upped and left, cutting off all ties with you without reason? You don't even know where or how to start.

"Y/N." He repeats.

"Hm?"

"I said I need you to flip over so I can work on the front of your body." You're nervous. God, you're nervous. It's like you were trying to impress him all over again, the same Min Yoongi that you had the fattest fucking crush on. The same Min Yoongi that you could do all that shit with, but could never admit that you had feelings for.

You hold onto the linen cloth as you carefully turn yourself over on the table, Yoongi once again giving you the privacy you need by turning his back. When he feels like he's given you enough time, he turns to see you pulling the linen cloth over your chest. He walks over, taking his biggest stone into another towel and wrapping it tightly before placing it down on your abdomen.

"That feel okay? Gonna leave this here while I work through your arms and legs."

"Yeah, that feels nice."

"Cool." He says, pressing it down ever so slightly just so you could feel the heat against your abdomen. He starts with your left leg, following the same rhythm he had when he massaged the back of your leg earlier. He takes the stones around your thigh, down to your calf, and works it in small circular motions before repeating the same up and down motion he had done before. He then takes the stone, places it underneath the bend of your knee and take the other to your foot. He gently grips your foot, working the stone in small motions against the surface before his touch disappears and he moves onto the next leg.

His touch.

You remember feeling cold without his touch.

After massaging your leg, he takes a moment to grab another warm towel and places it over your breasts before sliding the linen cloth down below your abdomen.

"Gonna give you a quick abdomen massage. The towel feel okay?" You let out a small 'mhm' before you hear him take a stone from behind you. He slowly introduces his touch against your abdomen, watching your body react to his touch.

His touch.

You remember how you used to react to his touch.

His touch is soft, gentle, when he presses into your abdomen, applying the right pressure as he goes on just as he realizes you're comfortable again. He takes a stone and proceeds with double-handed kneading that followed the pattern along your colon.

He makes his way up to work with your left arm, hooking the stone into the palm of his hand while he uses the other for support— gently running it up your arm and over your shoulder, back down towards your wrist. He switches to another stone and turns your hand over; starting from your palm and working his way up to your axillary node, then back down. Afterwards, he takes both stones in his hands, running it back all the way up before gently kneading as he comes back down. He leaves a stone under your hand before taking two long stones to do some manipulation around your shoulders. Once he feels like he has finished your left arm, he repeats the process on your right.

"That felt nice." Yoongi smirks at your sudden comment.

"That's the goal." He says, fixing the linen cloth over your body, tucking it in neatly so that your upper chest is properly exposed to him. "We're almost done here. I'll work on your upper chest and do a facial massage, okay? Then you'll be out of here."

"What if I don't wanna be out of here? It's too relaxing." You mumble.

"Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way." He chuckles. "Relax." He closes off the quick conversation by soothing your upper chest, working his hands around, up the shoulders and neck just to warm up the tissue. He repeats the process but this time, takes his two long stones and works them in, running it across your chest and in circular motions around the shoulders. He places them right beneath your collarbones so you can continue feeling the heat penetrate your tissues before taking two smaller stones to your face. He works the stones in an outward motion on your cheek, your forehead, in between your eyes— before working in an upward motion along the same path. Then, he grabs two stones a size up, working it behind the neck, ear and into the hairline in smaller motions. He sets the stones aside, now finishing off the massage by working his fingers deep into your scalp, down to your temples, keeping his hands over your ears for a brief moment to let the heat and energy transfer over. "How do you feel?" He says lowly near your ear, the vibrations in his tone somehow still able to send a tingle down your spine after all these years.

"Really good."

"Yeah? That's good." He says, hands gently gliding down your neck, back to the surface of your chest before he removes the stones. "Hope that was a nice session for you."

"Way more than that. Thank you." He smiles to himself before turning towards the counter, placing the rest of his supplies back on the surface to remind himself to do some good cleaning and disinfecting before his next client.

"Take your time when you get up and get ready, alright? Don't get up too fast." You open your eyes, still feeling calm, relaxed, as your body feels every inch of the table.

"Can't I just stay?" You joke.

"No can do." Yoongi chuckles a bit.

"Hey."  You call for him. "This might sound a little crazy to ask but, do you think we can catch up? It's been a long time, and quite frankly, I wasn't really expecting to run into you here." He turns over his shoulder before shaking his head.

"I don't know. I don't really think there's much for us to catch up on."

"You said it yourself, there's alot of things I don't know about you anymore. We used to be close—"

"Used to be." He says quite harshly when he cuts you off. "And yeah, just cause I said that, doesn't mean it's shit you need to know." He sighs, pushing his things aside before looking at you. "Sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way, but you're right. It's been years, and to be honest, part of me just wants to leave it in the past like it should be kept in the past. I don't really know if there's much for us to talk about."

"Please don't be like that. I'm trying to figure out where things went wrong. It's always bothered me that we ended up this way." He shrugs.

"You ever think that maybe this is just how things were meant to be?" He says, giving you one last look, his tongue licking his bottom lip. "It was really nice to see you though, Y/N. Hope you had a good time." He says before grabbing the door knob and twisting it, not really expecting you to be back for another session after all of this. "Again, no rush. My next client isn't until an hour from now." With that, he walks out and shuts the door, leaving you to your own peace.

You were relaxed. Felt blissful, felt at ease.

But now, you aren't so sure. You aren't sure if you wanna break down and cry, if you wanna run after him and beg for him to just talk to you.

You just aren't sure.

So you get up and walk over to the back, throwing on your clothes before lazily tossing the robe into the hamper placed near the divider. You let out a breath before grabbing the knob and twisting it, revealing an empty hallway with a few closed doors in front of you. No Yoongi in sight though, and you can't help but feel a bit heavy walking out of the session as if you didn't just receive a hot stone massage from him.

"Hey! How was it?" Yannie asks, reading your expression as you walk out and tug on your unzipped hoodie. You give her a small, toothless smile and nod, hoping to be on your way quickly.

"It was great!" You simply say with a nod. "Definitely will be back." You lie, mainly because you aren't really sure where this leaves you with Yoongi even if you wanted to be back for one. Shit, that massage was everything you needed and more.

"Good to hear, we'll see you again soon then." She smiles before waving you off.

Fuck.

As for the rest of the day, you do take the time to walk around town, run into a few stores to window shop and eat at the nearby mom and pop Vietnamese restaurant for a good ol' bowl of pho. Mainly out of enjoyment for your day off, moreso because your thoughts were starting to plague your mind and you needed a distraction.

If anything, today taught you that you really needed to take more time out of your busy schedule to slip in some self-care. So, that's what you do to end your night just as well as you started it [you like to think]. You run some hot water and bubbles, pour a glass of red, red wine and light up some incense, candles.

"Wait—" Rissa says while you have her on speaker, phone sitting on the toilet cover. "Yoongi was your masseur?!”

"Yuuuup." You say, sipping on your red wine.

"Oh, this is some shit." She laughs. "Wish I could get my ass on that first flight home so I could see how you look right now."

"Don't even try it."

"Well, tell me the massage was at least worth it."

"It was, very much so." She chuckles.

"But?"

"But, what?"

"There's a 'but' in that sentence. Now, spill."

"It's just weird. We fell off so abruptly, there was no closure. I just wish we could talk about things, I'm not entirely sure where things went wrong between us and it kinda sucks now that I've seen him again."

"I know Yoongi has always meant a lot to you, Y/N. But you could never admit it to him, yourself, even. Don't you think that has a lot to do with this?"

"W-what? That's not true."

"See, there you go again." You sigh.

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Think about it. Not saying that's it, there could be other reasons and the only person who would really know is Yoongi since we know what your side is like, but we don't know his."

"I don't know what to do. Should I go back?"

"What, for a massage or for Yoongi?" She laughs. "Or both, I guess."

"Both." You slip a bit further down into the water. "He was pretty direct today. I don't think he wants to talk about it, but part of me can't really let that go."

"You've always been stubborn like that. But, it's good, you know? You always go for what you want without giving up. I say go for it. If he really, really doesn't wanna see you and talk about things after this, then don't force it. Maybe he's right. It sucks to say, but maybe that's really how you two were supposed to end up." You sigh.

"Yeah, yeah." You respond simply, shutting your eyes as you let the hot water seep in and continue to relax your muscles. It was hard to say. Yoongi did mean a lot to you. He was someone you always had fun with, someone you could trust, someone who took care of you even when you didn't ask.

Of course, he meant a lot to you.

Of course, you wouldn't let that go after seeing him again.

But of course, Yoongi's detached and you're having to break through his walls yet again— most likely due to something you did that you weren't even aware of.

"You're back!" Yannie exclaims when she sees you walk through the door shyly.

"I am. I probably should have called beforehand, but I wasn't sure if I was going to make it in time before the last slot." You rub your hands together. "Is Yoongi here?"

"He sure is, and you just got lucky. His last spot cancelled not too long ago." Yannie shrugs.

"Sweet."

"He's with someone right now, but the session will be over—" She glances at the time. "Pretty soon, actually. Take a seat and get comfortable for now, alright?" She smiles, handing you one form to sign. You silently take the form with you, reading through the liability language again as you take your pen and get ready to sign at the line on the bottom half of the page. Sooner or later, you hear some giggling and a female voice echoing in the back hallway, a pretty, young lady coming through with Yoongi following behind her.

His smile drops almost instantly when he sees you sitting there. But it's not cause he's mad or anything, no. He could never be that mad at you after everything, could never hold a big grudge against you. He's just surprised that you're back, and he's also [surprisingly] relieved to see you're back.

Your eyes, and that smile.

The way you always used to hold onto him and hold his hand, looking up at him with those puppy dog eyes.

Your laugh.

He could never be that mad at you.

"Hey, I know your last client cancelled, but Y/N is here hoping to grab that slot." Yoongi nods.

"Yeah, it's no problem." He looks at the young lady in front of him as she bats her lashes and sways her hips while walking towards the door.

"See you next session, Yoonks?" She calls him a weird nickname that falls off her tongue so poorly. God.

"Of course." He smiles shyly, hand coming to the nape of his neck as he watches her walk out. He finally turns his attention towards you and clears his throat when he realizes you had been watching the interaction the entire time. "I um, just need to clean up in there a bit then I'll be ready for you. Give me a couple of minutes."

"Okay." Is all you say before finally scribbling your fucking signature on that line. Oh, Yoonks. Hope she isn't the one you're slipping in bed with. Your heart would be crushed to know he already had someone, even though you knew it was a high possibility after all this time. You couldn't be selfish with him forever.

Sooner or later, you're pulled out of your thoughts when Yoongi peeks his head out into the waiting area and taps the door frame. He purses his lips together when he looks at you and nods.

"Ready?"

"Mmyeah." You get up to follow him.

"Enjoy!" Yannie exclaims when she sees you follow him to the back. You quietly continue on, setting your things aside like you had done before when you step into the room and Yoongi shuts the door behind him.

"Was that your girlfriend, or something?" You tease.

"No. Repeat client." He looks at you before turning. "Somehow, I know you aren't really here for the massage." He fiddles with his things on the counter.

"I mean, I am. I could really use one."

"But you wanna try and talk, don't you?" You silently excuse yourself behind the divider to change and slip the robe on.

"Maybe. I won't push it." You say, tying the robe close before taking a seat on the edge of the table.

"Mm, but you always push it." He softly chuckles. "There's no stopping Y/N when she's determined to get what she wants." He turns to look at you, white tee hugging his body so nicely— you can't help but ogle a bit when he steps in front of you.

"No, not anymore necessarily." You try and cover your shit up even though both him and Rissa are right. You know this.

"Right." He lets out a little laugh. "You wanna lie down so we can get this started?" He walks over to the cabinets, grabbing a fresh, clean pair of linens in his hands. When he turns, he catches you removing your robe and covering your breasts when you're about to lie down. He quickly turns because quite frankly, he shouldn't even be in here for this— but, it's you.

You know this, too.

"I'm ready." You tell him, placing your face into the cushion comfortably.

"Cool." He says, draping your lower body with the linen in his hand, tucking it gently into your sides to make you feel even more comfortable. He makes his way to the front, preparing to manually massage you before adding the stones just so he can introduce his touch again. "Gonna start, alright? Relax, breathe in and out. I'll massage you without the stones first to get your tissues warmed up."

"Okay." You pause before calling for him again. "Yoongi?" You let out a little weirdly with the pressure he's adding onto your back.

"Hm?"

"What really happened between us?" He chuckles.

"And here you were, trying to tell me you weren't gonna push the agenda. Do you have to do this now? Mid-hot stone massage?" You head the clacking of the stones against each other before he starts working it into your back. He's right, it honestly feels too good for you to speak properly, but you felt like this was the only way— the only option, so to speak. His number had changed, he wasn't necessarily on social media. Didn't live at home with his parents anymore.

How else could you contact him besides seeing him for a massage?

"What other choice do I have?"

"I already told you there isn't much to talk about."

"Yeah, so why are we so awkward with each other?"

"It's been years."

"Why has it been years, Yoongi?" He sighs, head falling before he continues to work your back.

"It's your massage, don't blame me if you don't feel completely rested afterwards." He caves, gives in, knowing he can't ever say no to you. He can't ever be that mad, no.

You know that.

"I'm not gonna lie to you, Y/N. I was pretty upset with you when we spoke last. Do you even remember when that was?" He speaks up again.

"In college, yeah." You let out a small sigh when he deeply massages near the shoulder blades.

"So, you don't exactly remember?"

"Yoongi, I don't. Okay? I'm sorry." He should've expected it. He remembers that scene so clearly in his head, it almost aches him. He really did like you, Y/N. Min Yoongi was so much in like with you that he wanted to stop being friends with benefits, and he wanted more out of it. He was sure you two could take it there, no doubt. You fit each other well. So, so well—

Until you didn't.

/ FLASHBACK

"Sorry, I need to go find Y/N soon. She said she wanted to kick it." Yoongi tells his friend, Akio.

"What, for a quick fuck?" He laughs, making Yoongi shake his head.

"Shut the fuck up. She's not just a quick fuck. That girl means a lot to me, alright?" Yoongi catches the way Akio's face falls, moreso into confusion.

"Wait, you're not serious, right?"

"I'm pretty sure I am." Yoongi responds sarcastically, a little thrown off at the way he's taking the news right now. Was there something he wasn't aware about? Last time he checked, even if you two weren't serious, you both were exclusively just fucking around with each other and each other only.

Yoongi could be completely wrong at this point, though. But he hoped he wasn't. He really respected you and cared about you more than anyone he has ever crossed paths with, and the foundation of your friendship, that closeness you two had before anything, meant everything to him. He would never fuck that up. That's why he always checked in with you, always made sure that what you two were doing was still okay. He would never wanna disrespect you or make you feel uncomfortable. He never wanted to step out of line, or even hurt you in the slightest bit.

"Look, I just thought you two settled on the fact that you were friends with benefits, that's all."

"What do you know that I don't?"

"Nothing, man. That's it."

"Don't lie to my face, dude." Yoongi gives off a nervous chuckle. "What did she say to you?"

"She's been telling people that you two weren't serious and that she couldn't really see you two together like that.. or— that she couldn't see you like that." Ouch. Yoongi's fucking hurt, alright. And if that wasn't enough, Yoongi catches the way Akio looks past his shoulder, so he follows his gaze. He turns to see you flirting with the hot soccer boy on campus, Kane, who was also notorious for sleeping around and messing with other females at the same time.

Great.

Fucking great.

Because he knows you wouldn't turn that down— no, the fuck you wouldn't.

And he wishes he was wrong because the moment he sees you hold onto his arm and let him walk you up into the dormitory, his heart sinks. Shatters to pieces. Everything feels numb.

He thought you two were on the same page. Clearly, you weren't. He could never be that mad at you, though. Because he's always gonna have it for you, always gonna have that soft spot for you and hold you close, even if you were meant to stray away, even if you were meant to be kept at a distance.

He could never be that mad at you, no.

"I'm sorry my guy, I really thought you two had been on the same page. I didn't wanna be the first to break it to you like that. Maybe you should talk to her."

"No, it's good. You're right, it's really not that serious." He lies.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it's whatever." Akio shrugs.

"Alright then, I'm just saying. It could be good for you two to talk. It seems like there's still a disconnect somewhere." Yoongi ignores his added statement and pats him on the back.

"Gotta go, catch you later." He thought you two were close enough, thought he could read every inch of you, be that person who knew you like the back of his hand. He thought he had the privilege of having that much access to you because god, never in a million years would he have guessed. It started off so innocently, started off as two friends going through college together, before it grew into something more.

He wished it could blossom into more.

But now, maybe he truly does have to keep you at a distance. Keep you away, treat you like your mind and heart had been somewhere else this entire time.

Fuck.

Later that evening, Yoongi runs into you after you finish up a review session in the library. It was the last thing he wanted to deal with tonight, but there was no turning back. You weren't even aware that he knew about the things you said, seeing you with Kane earlier today. You knew nothing.

"Hey." You giggle, swinging your arms around him, but he gently pries it off and continues to walk towards his dorm. "Wait, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just having an off day." He says, keeping his head hung low.

"What happened?"

"Classes, homework. Lots of stuff to do."

"Oh, okay. That's it?" You nervously chuckle. "You got it, champ. I know you'll get through it." You playfully punch at his bicep, but he doesn't respond. "Okay, well, I'm sorry it's been a bad day." You awkwardly rub at your arms, stopping in your tracks. "I'm gonna go hang out with Kane and his friends, alright? Let me know if you need me."

"Mhm." He says, brushing you off completely and walking into this dormitory building.

/ END FLASHBACK

"I was waiting for you to try and figure out what was wrong. I wanted you to come to me and fix things, like I always do when something is off between us—" He works his way to your left arm. "With you. But the one night I needed you to do the same, you couldn't. Then you proceeded to tell me you were gonna go off and hang out with Kane and his friends." He says, working the stones down your arm.

"I wish you could have just told me."

"Y/N. You knew something was wrong, but you just didn't try to fix it. You didn't really care in the moment. The only thing you cared about was yourself and benefitting for yourself." You aren't really sure how to respond because now that you think about the moment, he was right. You knew something was off, but you didn't care enough to try and fix it. Yoongi had always been there for you, had always put you before anyone and anything.

And the one time he expected you to pull your own weight, even as a good friend [all benefits and fuckbuddy shit aside], you couldn't do that for him.

"I'm sorry."

"I mean." He chuckles, covering your arm with the linen before moving down to your leg. "Doesn't really matter anymore, right?"

"Of course it does. I'm sorry it had to take this for me to realize but it really fucked me up that we just stopped talking. I was dumb." You mumble.

"You're not dumb, don't say things like that." He adds.

"I'm really sorry."

"Don't apologize anymore. It's fine. I shouldn't have made it such a big deal."

"It is a big deal." He sighs a bit. "Can I ask you something?"

"Mhm."

"Were you really hurt about the whole Kane thing?"

"Are you really asking me this?"

"Right." You subtly shake your head. "I take it back—"

"Of course I was hurt." He continues to reply anyway. "I thought we were on the same page. We were for awhile. My feelings for you grew, and I thought we'd eventually make our way into something bigger than just being friends with benefits. I cared a lot about you, I tried to do a lot of things to show you that you were something special to me. You always came first because I had never had someone make me feel comfortable in my own skin the way that you did. Then—" He gently massages your foot with the stone before moving onto your other leg, introducing is touch just like he did before. "When I found out you were messing with other people and telling other people you didn't really see me that way, it fucked me up."

"Yoongi." You turn your head to the side, hoping to get a glimpse of him somehow.

"Nah, it's okay. You wanted an explanation so I'm giving it to you. Really, there's no need to try and apologize for it now. It's all in the past and I kinda just wanna leave it that way." You're a tad bit hurt at the way he won't accept the apology, but part of you understood that it took way too long for you to realize that something you had done affected him in ways you could only imagine.

"I should've done better." Is all you can say. He doesn't respond to it, though. Just continues to massage you, make you feel good like he always has done. You feel a little awkward now, lowkey regretting the fact that you came here with the sole intention to get Yoongi to talk about what happened between you two. Although, it was definitely something you needed to hear. Where to go from here though? You had no idea how to navigate this. What if this was it? After seeing him, you didn't want it to be. You wanted to try and fix this, even with knowing that it was close to impossible to bring back what you two had before.

That's the only thought that continued to plague your mind at this moment; the only thought that repeated itself over and over again that you didn't even realize you were now having to face him as you switch onto your back to let Yoongi massage the front of your body.

"You can relax, you know?" He looks you in the eye, a little confused as to why you're just plainly staring at him as he starts the front body massage.

"I'm sorry." You repeat, close to a whisper. "I just wanna fix things between us. I know it's a little late, but better late than never right?"

"Mm, I'm always going to have a soft spot for you Y/N.. but in a way where I can just support you and care about you from a distance. I think we work better that way."

"Do we, though?"

"These past years kinda say so, don't you think?"

"But that's because I didn't know any better." He shrugs.

"It seemed to be fine." He simply states.

"Were you, though? I missed you, a lot. I just didn't know how else to reach out to you before, or where to even find you."

"Don't say things you don't mean." He lets out a tiny breath, pursing his lips together.

"I do mean that. I thought about us, you, a lot. I missed the way you cared for me and how you were always there for me. I missed how you always made me feel so special." You stop there, even though you can go on and on about how Yoongi made you feel back in the days. That lingering feeling of attachment, of needing his touch, his cuddles, the way he never let you down. Fuck, he was so good to you. You let him get away.

"Sounds like this is purely for your benefit."

"You can't say we didn't make each other happy."

"You did make me happy, I just wasn't the case for you."

"Of course you made me happy."

"Kinda hard to believe." He says flatly. "Look, I said what I needed to say. I think that's what you wanted, right? I've just come to the conclusion that we're better off the way that we ended up. You'll always mean something to me, no matter what. Don't get me wrong. But, I think we both just need to continue moving on and leaving that where it belongs." Suddenly the room feels hot and tense, especially when he's incredibly close to your ear, close to your face, your lips. His hands continue to travel down your body, working his touch like he's always been so good at doing.

You leave it at that, though. Respecting his wishes, not wanting to push any further to avoid more issues. Although it fucking kills you, and you wish you could just snap your fingers and you and Yoongi could return to your old ways like shit never happened.

You should've known better, you could have done better. You were too selfish to try at the moment, and now you're laying here wondering how things could have been if you just tried a little harder for him.

He's the one that got away.

Maybe he was right, maybe there really was no coming back from this. Maybe it was just better this way.

When the massage comes to a close, Yoongi softly lets you know that the session has concluded, but doesn't say much. He doesn't offer for you to come back like the first time you came here, doesn't really offer much in general. You quietly get up to change behind the divider, tossing the robe into the hamper while Yoongi tidies up his room for closure tonight. When he hears you come out from behind the divider, he simply gives you a look over his shoulder before returning his attention to his supplies beneath his hands.

"You feel alright?" He decides to ask anyway.

"I guess so." You dig your hands into your pockets. "Thank you."

"Of course." He finally turns to fully look at you, eyes locking onto yours as his tongue comes out to meet the corner of his mouth. You don't pull your gaze away for a bit, his look still giving you those same old butterflies you used to feel when he used to give you the same look back in the day. His eyes used to say a lot about how he felt about you without the need to actually say it out loud. He watches as you grab one of his business cards and scribble something on the back before handing it to him.

"Just know that I'm really sorry, and I really wish we could fix things. Or, I could fix things. I should have done better for you, especially when I knew I felt more for you than what I showed at the time." He sees that you had written your number on the back of one of his business cards, eyes locked on it as it sits in his hand. "In case you ever needed it." You give him one last look before giving him a tiny, toothless smile and excusing yourself out of his room.

Don't get it twisted, though. You do feel relieved he at least told you what was going through his head at the time, and what had happened between the two of you. But, the majority of you felt guilty, and you weren't sure how you'd fix this without forcing the connection, without forcing what wasn't meant to be.

Damn.

"Sorry, I just came out of my massage and got home." You place the phone against your ear as you step into your apartment.

"How was it?" Rissa asks with a small giggle.

"I don't even know, Rissa. I think I may have just fucked this up for good. I shouldn't have gone back."

"Don't say that. Tell me what happened." She says, hearing another sigh leave your lips as you place your bag and keys down.

"I'm so stupid, Rissa. I should have known he was hurt by the whole Kane thing. I should have told him the truth."

"Girl, not to be the 'I told you so' bitch, but I am gonna be that bitch and say I told you so." She says directly. "I knew you were caught up at the time cause Kane was giving you the attention, who wouldn't? But you going around saying the things you said about Yoongi and denying that entire thing was definitely going to backfire."

"God, I was so fucking selfish and dumb." You lay back against your couch and let your head rest back, now remembering the times you brushed Yoongi off without even realizing.

"We live and we learn, at least now you know." Rissa says.

"I apologized, though. I really did try to talk to him about it."

"I'm sure he appreciates it, love. What else did he say?"

"Nothing. He just thinks that maybe we really were meant to fall off and be this way. He was saying that after all these years, it just seems better. He just wants to keep it that way and keep it in the past."

"Maybe he just needs time to think. I'm sure it was hard on his part, especially having to unexpectedly face it again. You know Yoongi doesn't trust a lot of people, and you probably were the one person he could fully trust. I'm sure it hurt him a lot." She says softly.

"I don't know what to do now. I left him my number but fuck, I don't even think he'll use it. He probably trashed it the moment I left the room."

"Just give it time. Again, if it really is meant to be, then it'll happen in time. If not, then I hate to say it, but maybe he's right, hun."

"I hate to think of it that way. God. Why didn't I just realize it at the time?"

"We were young and dumb. It was college. We weren't worried about all this because we wanted to have fun."

"Doesn't make it an excuse." You sighed heavily. "I don't know. I really can't do anything to force it, so I'll just let it be like you like said." There's a small pause before Rissa speaks again.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I will be." You shake your head, not wanting to think more about the situation for the rest of the night. "So, tell me all about what you did today, please? What fun did you get into?" She hears it in your voice, and as your bestfriend, she knows very well that you don't like to stress too much about things. So, she gives you what you want. Gives you the full details of her day so that the both of you can pick at the little things and go off on tangents.

Just so you no longer have to think about Yoongi for tonight.

But that's the opposite case for Yoongi, even if he didn't want it to be the case. Because the moment he gets home from work, all he can think about is you.

He hates that this is always the case with you, hates that he always has that soft spot for you no matter how direct or blunt he can get. Hates how you always have him in some kind of hold, hates how after all these years, you can still make him weak in one way or another.

But he'll never be that mad at you, no. He can never be that mad at you.

/ FLASHBACK

"Hey." Yoongi whispers, slipping into your dorm bed around 2AM. You were fast asleep, cuddled up in your blankets. But, you always left your door open especially for Yoongi to slip himself in.

"You're so cold." You mumble against the sheets, scooting to make room for Yoongi to situated himself in your bed next to you. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you close, instantly wanting some of the heat you radiated under the covers. "Yoooongi." You whine, trying to pry his arms off of you.

"Baby, you're so warm though." He snuggles against your neck. "Missed you." You continue to whine a bit until you feel him warming up behind you.

"How was Akio's birthday outing?"

"Fun. Kinda drunk, not gonna lie."

"I see." You chuckle a bit, eyes still closed as you turn to face him and snuggle against his chest.

"Been too long without you."

"Shut up." You giggle, eyes slowly flickering as you look at him in the dark.

"Did you miss me?"

"No."

"Fucking liar." He laughs, pulling you closer. He places a peck on your forehead before moving down to the tip of your nose and your lips. You giggle when he continues to give you small, feathery kisses against your lips, playfully pushing him away to get some air.

"You're so fucking affectionate right now. Gross."

"Just missed you." He squeezes your thigh and pulls you near, your waist tucked as close as possible to his crotch. You liked it when he did this shit though, always telling you how much he missed you, how much he wanted you. Always made you feel good, feel special. "Can I kiss you, please?" He looks at you, brushing the hair away from your face and off your shoulder.

"You still have to ask?" You turn a bit, laying on your back with your head turned towards his direction.

"I always have to ask. I never like to assume." He says, large hand coming to cup your cheek. "C'mere." His thumb caresses the surface as he slowly brings your face closer to his, eyes drawn to yours, then down to your lips. When you feel his soft lips press a light kiss against your own, you can't help but release all the butterflies in your tummy. You feel tingles run down your spine, your arms, entire body, even as he continues to deepen his kisses.

It's a quiet night. The only sounds that fill the room are the sweet, soft, slow kisses being exchanged between the two of you. And it was perfectly fine. There were no expectations to fulfill any other need besides being in each other's company and enjoying each other's kisses.

His hand slips down to your sides, giving it a gentle squeeze as he pulls you closer, peppering your jaw and the surface of your neck with feathery kisses. He hungrily moves back to your lips, sucking on your bottom lip before pulling it back with a soft pop. You moan against the next kiss, tugging on his shirt as his hand roams inside of yours.

"Can we fuck already?"

"Not what I came here for." He chuckles when he pulls back from the kiss. "Just wanted to kiss you and cuddle you to sleep."

"Wow, are you being foreel?" You kinda laugh in his face, unsure if he was serious or not.

"Seriously." He edges his face to kiss you some more on the neck, letting him do whatever he wanted to do to you.

Which was that; it was just that. And sometimes, you really did enjoy this part of having Yoongi around— where there was nothing but safety, comfort. No strings attached.

/ END FLASHBACK

The flashback comes into Yoongi's mind after he steps out of the shower, your constant 'I'm sorry's' repeating in his head while he looked at his own business card sitting next to his phone on the bathroom sink counter.

More like your voice repeating in his head, the look on your face repeating in his head. Your eyes, lips.

He can never forget those.

The towel hangs loosely on his waist, water drips down his orange hair, down his chest. He lets out a deep sigh before grabbing his phone, clicking his teeth when he grabs the card.

"Fuck." He mumbles to himself when he types in your number and decides to send a text. A lousy, little text—

[unknown number] 8:53am: coming by again any time soon?

[unknown number] 8:54am: it's yoongi btw

He's definitely lost his touch. He does a slight head tilt when he tosses his phone aside, waiting for your response. Albeit, he hasn't really had a relationship since he was messing with you. Had a few fuckbuddies on the side to try and get rid of the shit you put him through. Nonetheless though, it was never going to compare.

You look at your phone, startled at the sudden notification [especially since it wasn't your family or Rissa]. You look at Yoongi's text for a little bit, unsure if you're relieved he actually put your number to use or if you're nervous about interacting with him some more.

[y/n] 8:58am: why do you ask?

[yoongi] 9:01am: promos happening, just thought you should know

You smirk. That was a terrible lie, and he should've known better than to pull that one.

[y/n] 9:05am: riiiight.. lol. thought about coming later today. could use another massage after this proposal takes everything out of me. wasn't sure if i'd try another kind of massage tho.

[yoongi] 9:07am: you don't want the other dudes here, trust me

[y/n] 9:08am: and why not??

[yoongi] 9:11am: just cause. let me know if you're stopping by, ok? i'm free at 4.

[y/n] 9:12am: yoongi, i know you aren't really just texting me about some promos..

[yoongi] 9:14am: i mean i am

[yoongi] 9:15am: listen, i just want you to know that i didn't mean to come off rude or anything last session. i'm sorry, alright? you know i never mean to hurt you, but i also had to be real with you

[y/n] 9:17am: heard you loud & clear.

[yoongi] 9:18am: so coming by later today?

[y/n] 9:20am: sure, i guess so. why not.

[yoongi] 9:21am: kk

[y/n] 9:22am: why do you want me to come by so badly?

[yoongi] 9:23am: just think we need to re-do last session, felt kinda bad

[yoongi] 9:25am: i gotta run, i'm about to be fucking late and i haven't even left the house yet. i'll see u later

You look at your phone in slight disbelief. This was starting to sound a bit like the Yoongi you knew, however, you were still confused as to why he wanted you to come by so badly.

Plus, he didn't even want you to try the other services they had to offer because he felt like he needed to re-do the last session?

He was up to something. Even if he wouldn't say it directly.

But really, you knew it was easy for Yoongi to feel bad. He never liked making you upset in any way possible, never liked making you feel like you weren't worth his time or effort. Because you always were worth it, you were always going to be worth it to him.

When you left the other day, he couldn't help but feel a tad bit guilty about his tone and how he came off. He never intended for it to be that way. Sure, he was hurt. But he wasn't going to fight fire with fire. Seeing you made him miss you, too. He was afraid to admit it, but he'll say it now. He does miss you. He misses how things used to be. And maybe it won't ever go back to that 100%, but he'd enjoy having you back in his life one way or another.

That's why he doesn't want you to try the other services and see his colleagues. They had their own shit going on too, anyway. He tends to be pretty selfish with you, whether he realizes it or not.

Your day goes by stressfully, with this month-long proposal finally being submitted as a final draft to your boss. You had put in so much time and effort into this, fixing every single detail down to the T to make sure it was to his liking. He has you walk through the proposal from beginning to end, suggesting teeny tiny last n minute edits before he tells you that the proposal is beautiful and that it should be good to go after the last corrections have been made.

A relief.

You definitely deserved this massage, especially since you worked so hard, so long, on this shit [that wasn't necessarily even your responsibility] and took the project under your wing with grace.

Waltzing into Blissful Hands a bit before 4PM, the waiting room is a bit more packed than you the past two times you've been here. Yannie gives you a wave, signaling for you to do the same routine before seeing Yoongi. You sit there awkwardly, fiddling with your fingers until you see Yoongi poke his head out from the hallway to give you an 'i'm ready for you' nod. You purse your lips together and follow him to his room— this time, candles lit, incense burning.

"Uh, wow." You set your things aside. "Those smell really nice."

"Figured I'd help you relax a bit more this time." He looks at you. "How are you feeling today?"

"Good I guess, finally fucking finished that proposal I've been working on for months."

"Yeah?" He licks his bottom lip before turning. "That's good. Assuming you're in marketing like you've always dreamed of getting into?" You shrug before walking towards the back divider.

"Mhm." It's quiet for a moment as you switch out of your clothes and get into the robe, gently sitting on the edge of the table while your feet dangle as Yoongi prepares the rest of his supplies. He finally turns and comes towards you, hand brushing the hair away from your shoulder.

"Is it okay if I start with the front today?" He asks you.

"Do you always do that?"

"Sometimes, If I wanna switch it up."

"You know best." He chuckles a bit.

"Lie down, please." He hands you a smaller linen to cover your breasts when you slip out of the robe and lie down in the position he needs you to be in.

"Did you really feel bad for last time?"

"Kinda, yeah. Not gonna lie. Didn't want you to think I was coming off like a dick."

"Maybe just a tad. Understandable though. It's my fault."

"Sorry." He says. "I am happy to see you again, you know?" He says softly. "You always win."

"Win?" You watch as he drips some oil down your arm, eyes locking onto yours as he places the tiny bottle down. He starts to work his hands down your arm and up to your shoulder, to the base of your neck, his touch sending tingles down your spine this time.

"I can never stay mad at you." He says huskily. "After all this time, I didn't think it'd be the same way, but it is."

"Elaborate."

"I—" He sighs a bit, positioning himself right above your head as he drops more oil down your left arm and abdomen. "I was just remembering the times we spent together, that's all."

"I miss it." You simply tell him. You know your eyes should be shut right now, but for some reason, you can't. He doesn't even tell you to, and you know it's his intention when he locks eyes with you during the duration of his warm up. Even as Yoongi turns to grab some of his stones, he still looks at you.

He keeps looking at you.

You swallow the lump in your throat when he takes a stone down your arm, slowly. His body drops a little closer to yours, his chin almost matching your level when he brings it back up and down with the right pressure.

"Does it feel okay?" He asks, close to a whisper, lips only inches away from yours.

"Mhm." You look at him.

"Harder? Softer? Let me know."

"It's perfect, Yoongi."

"Okay." He works your arms before moving the smaller stones to your abdomen. His finger gently brushes over the linen cloth covering your clothed pussy, his eyes flickering back up to you when he catches you slightly flinch. "You okay?"

"Sorry, was just not ready for that."

"I'll take it slow." He says, his hands using the stones as an extension as he kneads and kneads gently into your stomach and abdomen. You weren't sure why, but you were nervous around him. But in a way where you had hoped you were still enough for him. In a way where he'd look at you and still remember how he felt about you back in the day, even if you couldn't get that back. At least he'd remember.

His touch makes your palms sweaty and he feels that when he takes his tiny stones against your palm and places them in between your fingers.

"Nervous?"

"Not really." He smirks.

"You don't have to lie, I can tell Y/N." He gives you a hand massage. "Don't be nervous, okay? I told you I wanted you to relax this time around."

"Okay."

"Gonna move to your legs now." He uncovers your right leg, locking eyes with you once again when he lets the oil drip from your thigh to your inner thigh, even as he continues to move down your leg. His large hands start from your feet, up to your calf and knee before he's kneading your thigh and inner thigh. Your breathing hitches when you feel him getting closer and closer to your heat, only for him to pull away and grab his stones.

"Yoongi?" You panic and call for him even though you don't necessarily know what you're trying to say right now.

"Mhm?"

"T-that felt nice." You recover quickly.

"Yeah?" He focuses the stone in his palm against your inner thigh, watching as you close your eyes momentarily, body feeling heavy but relaxed in his grip. "Good."

And it's like that, it just continues to be a teasing game for the majority of the session. You weren't sure what Yoongi was hinting at during this moment, but god, did he make you feel good. He always knew how to make you feel good, one way or another. The session goes on for the full hour, Yoongi standing near the side of the table as you try to sit up and stable yourself post-mini nap while he worked on your back. He places his hand on your thigh as your cover your body with the linen cloth, brushing your hair back as you sit and get yourself together.

"Yo, are you okay? Was it that bad?" You chuckle.

"Shut up. It felt so nice. I wish I could just lay here forever, seriously." He smiles. "You're really good at what you do."

"Thanks." You look at him and he doesn't say much, but he also doesn't move away. "Guess I'll be seeing you again then?"

"Maybe." You stand, bodies almost pressed together with the way he doesn't move in his position. "I just hope I'm not a bother."

"You've never been a bother. Just wanted you to actually enjoy yourself." He says. The pause lingers for longer than you imagined, and you're not entirely sure what takes over you in that brief moment [although you kinda do], but you move yourself closer to him, lips crashing into his.

He doesn't move away.

He takes the kiss and runs with it, hands coming up to the small of your back to press you flush against him. You can feel the bulge in his pants against your covered core, and suddenly, you want more out of Yoongi. You're just not sure if you could have it the same way you did before—

"Do you know what you're doing right now?" He pulls back slightly, whispering against your lips.

"Think so."

"I don't know if we should be doing this again."

"Then why didn't you stop me earlier?"

"Shit is just going to get complicated."

"It doesn't have to be. What was all that during the session?"

"I was just doing my job, Y/N" He steps back a bit, teeth nibbling onto his bottom lip. "I—yeah." He sets his things aside. "We probably shouldn't." He scratches at his temple, flustered from the kiss because yeah, does he want you. He really does miss you, does miss having that relationship he had with you— keeping you close, having you to himself at one point.

He's not sure why or how these feelings came rushing back, but they did, especially after you laid that kiss on him moments ago. It's like the complete closure you two were looking for never came because it brought you two to this very moment where maybe, you didn't need to close that part off. Maybe, you both didn't need to shut each other out completely for the rest of your lives.

Maybe, it would be better this time around.

But no, Yoongi still gets a little afraid, still is doubtful. He doesn't know anything about your life right now besides you working your dream job. Hell, you could have a man for all he knows and that could all be fucked up and complicated now.

What was he doing?

What were you two doing?

That was always the question, and that's probably the biggest reason why he just had to step away in the first place.

"Um, I'll give you some space to get dressed." He says, clearing his throat. "You can make your next appointment at the front after, okay?"

"Wait, Yoongi—" You watch as he scurries on out, shutting the door behind him and leaving you to your own peace. "Fuck." You run your hand through your hair, dragging the stupid linen cloth along with you to the back divider to get changed. You still hoped you could catch him, so you hurriedly throw on your clothes and grab your bag, not realizing that your wallet had been poking out and fell onto the floor in the midst of your swift motions.

No Yoongi in sight.

You let out a deep sigh, tugging on your bag strap as you walk out and greet Yannie with that same old 'it felt amazing' smile you always give her before walking out of the establishment.

Fresh air. Fresh, fresh air. No tension, no suffocation.

"Rissa, fuck." You call her as soon as you step into your door, tossing off your shoes and throwing your keys aside. "I'm sorry, I know it's probably still stupid early there but I need you."

"What happened?" She sleepily asks, still trying to get some shut eye in before she has to fully wake up for her day.

"I kissed him."

"Oh fuck." She lets out with a laugh. "Ohhh fuck. Wow, yeah, I like waking up to this kinda news."

"No, bad!" You tell her in a whiny tone. "I shouldn't have, and now it's probably gonna be so awkward. I couldn't help it though, I felt like he was teasing me all session and being gentle with me for certain reasons."

"He's a fucking masseuse, Y/N." She laughs.

"He was teasing me!"

"Listen, he probably liked the kiss so much he had to run off and hide his boner." She shuffles in the back. "That boy has always had it for you. I ship."

"Rissa."

"What, you can't tell me that this is out of the ordinary. You two are always so fucking weird about your relationship, especially you. Just get together already!" She yells into her pillow. "You two obviously have always really liked each other and those feelings never went away. Why don't you finally do something about it? I mean, don't you think there's a reason why you two crossed paths again?"

"Ugh."

"Yeah, ugh. You're telling me." She chuckles. "Go for it this time. Please don't hold back and just go for it." You pause, digging through your bag to try and find your wallet. "Hello? All of a sudden you don't wanna say shit." She jokes.

"Wait, oh my god." You start to panic a bit when you realize your wallet is nowhere to be found. "What the fuck!"

"What's wrong?"

"My wallet? It's gone? I don't know if I dropped it or—"

"Did you have it on you when you got to the massage parlor?"

"Yeah, I did." You sigh and run your hand through your hair. "Shit."

"Welp, guess you're going back to see Yoongi." She giggles. "I better hear about him clapping your cheeks when you get back."

"You're too much." You roll your eyes and shake your head. "I gotta go before I lose my shit even more."

"Update me, text me, whatever. I hope you find it, boo. I'm sure it's just there."

"Thanks. I'll keep you posted." You grab your keys, sighing deeply as you slip back into your shoes and head out back to the parlor. It's not as busy as it was earlier, with only two people waiting in the waiting room for their sessions. Yannie is surprised to see you back, questioning whether or not something had gone wrong during your last session. You simply tell her no, and that you were just over to check if your wallet had fallen out in Yoongi's room. Luckily, he doesn't have anyone back there just yet, so she lets you head on back and straight to his room.

No Yoongi again, though.

You peek your head in at first, scanning the room to see if Yoongi may have just been hiding in the corners, but he wasn't there. You welcome yourself into the room anyway, figuring you were harmlessly looking for your wallet. You scan the side of the room thoroughly, checking the sides, crevices, making sure you weren't missing the item as you passed along. When you finally hit the back area, you catch a glimpse of your wallet right underneath the divider, giving you some relief.

"Oh, thank god." You mutter to yourself.

"What're you doing?" You jump, startled at Yoongi's voice as he stands at the doorway with a tangerine in his hand.

"I—uh, dropped my wallet. Didn't realize it until I got home." You raise your wallet and shyly show him.

"Oh." Is all he says.

"Sorry, I'll get out of your way now." You try to rush out but he blocks your path, holding his hand out.

"Wait, you don't have to rush out."

"Kinda want to after earlier." You directly tell him.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't know what to do in the moment." He looks at you, genuinely trying to apologize. "I mean— it happened so fast. I didn't know what to say or do." He stumbles over his own words.

"You shouldn't be the one apologizing."

"Look Y/N, I didn't mean all of that. I didn't mean to lead you on, or anything. It was kinda just.. a defense mechanism for me. It's been so long since we both had been close in that way and I'm afraid you'd pull the same shit."

"Things change, you know? Even though I didn't try before, doesn't mean I wouldn't try this time around." You try to brush past him, but you still aren't successful. "Yoongi, please just let me get home."

"I know things change." He says. "Can we— can we just do that whole thing over?"

"You'd want to?" You cock your head to the side, trying your best to read him.

"I know we both had our own faults in the past and I want to leave that there as much as possible. At the same time, I really missed you and it's been hitting me ever since the first time you walked into this establishment. I don't know what it is about you, Y/N. I don't know if I'll ever figure it out. But I want us to move past that and start fresh, whatever that means. I'd hate to let you slip away again." He looks at you, stares into your soul almost. You don't really know what to say except, you know this feeling all too well. You've felt this for Yoongi for so long, you've thought about him and your relationship with him for so long. He was the one you couldn't stop thinking about, the one who you always managed to ponder 'what if's' and 'maybe's' about.

You're also terrible with words, but you nod anyways. And you finally find the courage to tell him—

"I feel the same way." He gives you a tiny smile before placing his tiny tangerine down on the counter. He gently cups your cheeks, pulling you in for a kiss that manages to deepen quickly— so quickly that you find yourself being carried onto the table. Yoongi sits you on the end, hands roaming up your sides before giving it a good squeeze.

"I wasn't sure how to take it earlier, please don't take it personally." He whispers near your jaw as he begins to pepper it with light kisses. You tilt your head back slightly to give him more area to work with, eyes shut and rolling to the back of your head when you feel his tongue glide over your neck and below your ear.

"I'm sorry. I—" You whisper back, trying to explain why you had the sudden urge to kiss him at that moment, but he cuts you off.

"It's fine, you don't need to explain. We're here now, right? Can't necessarily turn back." His lips graze yours as his hand travels down your shirt, tugging on the bottom half to signal that he wants you out of it. "Don't necessarily want to, either."

"Fuck— don't you have someone coming in soon?"

"In about 30 minutes, yeah."

"Yoongi."

"Can make you cum before then, right?" He smirks, finally getting you out of your top.

"Is that on your secret menu?"

"No." He chuckles. "Promise." His hands start to roam over your breasts, giving them a good squeeze while he continues to kiss you passionately— working his tongue in your mouth, sucking on your tongue in between. He tugs on your bottoms, getting you to slip out of them with ease. He feels the wet spot pooling on those thin, black panties you have on and it instantly sends blood rushing to his dick—

The fact that you two still had this affect on each other, he couldn't help himself.

You continue to kiss him roughly, passionately, as you get him out of his own clothes, tossing all the pieces of fabric to various points in the room. He slips you out of your panties, instantly rubbing his thumb against your clit. You let out a quick, muffled moan against his lips, only for Yoongi to pull back and smirk at you.

"Like that?" You nod.

"Why'd you stop?"

"Thought I could make it a little more fun." You watch as he grabs his oil and his smaller stones. "If.. that's okay with you. These were the ones I used on you earlier."

"Okay." You say, close to a whisper, gently bringing your lips back onto his. Your hands snake up his neck to get a good grip on his orange strands, tugging on them lightly as he works his way down to your neck again. He pulls away slightly, locking eyes with you before he spreads your legs wider and lets some drops of oil fall down your abdomen and onto your pussy.

He sees your breathing hitch again, but this time, he takes the stone and presses it against your clit to start massaging the oil around.

"Yoongi, fuck." You breathe out as you sit back a bit further, head tilting in pleasure.

"Can already tell how wet you are for me." He bites onto his bottom lip as he continues to work the stone and oil against your clit, free hand slipping in two fingers to pump in and out of you. If it weren't for the soft music Yoongi had playing in the background, you were sure people passing by could hear how wet you were. Because to Yoongi, all he hears is you. The way your pussy sounds when he works his digits inside, the way you let out soft moans as you sit back and let him do his work.

"Need you inside." You let out breathily as you open your eyes again and watch Yoongi damn near pierce his bottom lip with how quick he's trying to work his magic and make you cum on his fingers.

"Wanna cum for me first?" He says near the surface of your neck, lips grazing below your ear before he takes your earlobe into his mouth and gently tugs back. He works the stone faster against your clit, the pressure enough to have you reaching the edge quicker than expected even if the stone was losing its heat.

"Fuck, yeah— like that—" You whine, working your hips against his motions. "Shit, I'm gonna cum—" In a matter of seconds, you feel your high, body twitching as you finally tip over the edge and call Yoongi's name. He slowly pumps his digits in and out, helping you work through your high until he slowly removes it from inside of you. He smirks, setting the stone and oil aside before grabbing at your jaw.

"Open." You do as told, allowing Yoongi to slip in his fingers just so you could have a taste of yourself. "That's my girl." He says.

"Wanna feel you, please." You beg, watching as Yoongi strokes his rock hard cock before bringing you back closer to the edge of the table and spreading your legs wide open for him.

"I got you, baby. You know I always do. Lay back for me and relax." He says, dropping some oil down the valley of your breasts, your stomach. He takes two stones into his palms, gliding it over your chest and stomach, multitasking to add the right pressure through his hands while he takes a hardened bud into his mouth and tongues it in circular motions.

"Oh my god—" You whine, feeling him move onto the next nipple to repeat the process, his tongue gliding effortlessly over your bud. When he finally feels like he's had enough teasing you and making you beg for more, he leans back, setting his shit aside before giving your clit a good rub. He spits on to your pussy, watching it drip down to meet his cock as he slowly penetrates your entrance. Your mouth falls open, a silent moan releasing. It's been years, but you could never forget how Yoongi always made you feel so good, so fucking full and complete.

"Fuck, missed this." He huffs as he bottoms out. He stays in his position for awhile, afraid to move and release too fast, even though he knows he's on a bit of a time crunch right now. He slowly begins to thrust in and out of you, finding his rhythm after a few strokes. He's careful to make sure he doesn't make too much noise with the table, careful to place his hand over your mouth when he starts to hear you moan loudly again as he picks up his pace.

But all in all, his end goal was to make you beg for more and fuck you into oblivion.

Which, he always manages to do. He manages to do it tonight. He's fucking you so good and so deep that you're screaming his name into his palm, tears spilling over and staining your cheeks. His hand has a tight grip onto your thigh, keeping you stationary as he rocks into you— in and out, in and out.

"Baby shit, you feel so good." He moans deeply, head tilting back in pleasure for a quick moment before he's focused on you and only you. "Gonna make me cum all over you. You want that?" You nod, whimpering a quick 'mhm' into his palm once again while he continues with the momentum he has going. You tap his wrist a few times, signaling that you're about to reach your high again tonight, and he picks up on a quick.

"Cumming—" You manage to mumble.

He sees the way you grip onto his wrist.

Feels the way you're clenching around his cock.

Watches the quick way your chest rises with every breath.

It's not long before he feels you tightening around him, eyes shut as you dig your nails onto his wrist and moan loudly into his hand.

"Fuck, gonna cum with you." He groans. The sight, the feeling, is enough for Yoongi reach his high, quickly pulling out to release his seed all over the surface of your pussy.

"Holy shit." You pant, laying there as you and Yoongi try to regulate your breathing. His hands run up your sides to help soothe you, leaning down to place a kiss on your lips before coming back up to grab a towel near the table.

"You okay?"

"More than okay." He chuckles.

"Let me clean you up." He says, wetting the towel and cleaning you up before helping you up from the table.

"You have like 7 minutes before your next client." He shrugs.

"It's fine, I'll clean up quick." You slip back into your own clothes.

"The stones?" You look at him and point at the table.

"Ah, yeah. I'll sanitize those but I'll probably stash them away for you." You laugh.

"Wow, I get my own set of dedicated stones, huh?"

"Probably better that way, anyway. I have extra, and Yannie can always order more for me." You shake your head.

"Thanks, by the way." You raise your wallet. "Needed this."

"Figured." He fixes his shirt and tucks it into his pants before letting out a breath and walking back towards you. "So, am I gonna see you again?" He pulls you tightly by the waist, keeping you flush against him as you look him in the eyes and smile.

"Just might." He chuckles and nods before caressing your chin and placing a warm, soft peck against your lips.

"Let me know when you get home, alright?"

"Okay. Have a good rest of your shift." You giggle before walking out and leaving him to his peace. Getting home, all you could think about was the sudden turn of events and how you were going to tell Rissa about the shit that just happened.

She'd be fucking ecstatic.

She was.

Not even gonna lie.

You had to pull the phone from your ear a couple of times even though that girl claimed she was going to keep it a minimum since she was supposedly on a team call. And to be quite honest, you liked every bit of it even though it made you flustered at times. You liked it because you finally felt like you could do this right, could do him right. You liked it because it finally felt like things had fallen into place and that the closure you thought you needed didn't have to actually come—

Because now, you and Yoongi could finally move on and move past that grey area, together.

>> 1.5 MONTHS LATER

For days, you and Yoongi had continued to see each other at the parlor, both for hot stone reasons and other reasons, before he was finally seeing you at your place and vice versa. Following those weeks and the next month or so, you had started to see each other outside of work, spending a lot of time together and spending the night at each other's homes. Everything had grown quickly, but at the same time, it only felt natural being that you and Yoongi had known each other and had been in this space before. It almost feels like you two picked up right where you left off, even though the both of you considered this to be a fresh start.

It felt amazing, real, genuine.

Like everything had fallen right into your lap just how it should have. And hell yeah, you learned your lesson from the beginning. You weren't gonna mess this up again.

"Scoot." He smiles when he sees you laying down in his bed with nothing on. You set your phone on his nightstand, gripping the sheets closer to your body when you turn and face him. He slips himself in, immediately pulling you flush against his body before brushing the hair out of your face. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing." He lets out a small laugh, giving your side a light squeeze.

"Say it, baby."

"It's just kinda crazy, isn't it?"

"What?"

"This. Us?"

"It's crazy only if you make it crazy." You playfully punch him on the chest.

"Seriously." You pout and he gives in, he always gives in.

"A bit, but I wouldn't think too much of it. Guess this is how it was meant to happen."

"Never got that closure because we never needed the closure." You added.

"Are you happy, though?"

"Of course I am." He looks at you and presses a kiss against your forehead.

"I want you to let me know when you aren't, okay? The last thing I want is for you to be unhappy. Doesn't matter if that means with me or not. I just want you to be honest."

"I know. But, I am." He nods.

"Okay." You lean in and kiss him on the lips just as he turns from shutting off his nightstand light.

"Sleeping already?" You mumble against his lips and he smirks.

"I mean, fuck. Yeah? Was hoping to at least get some sleep tonight." You giggle, gently grabbing at his jaw and pulling him in for another kiss.

"No fuuuun." You whine.

"What'd you have in mind then?"

"Oh, I don't know? Thought we could just stay up and talk." His breathing hitches when he feels your soft hand stroking his cock, hardening by the minute.

"S-stay up and talk, huh?" He lets out a breathy moan when he feels you pump him slowly, grabbing his tip and smearing his pre-cum all over your clit. "Aren't you tired, baby?"

"Nope. We don't have to go all the way, though." You say, slipping his cock in between your legs, enough for it to glide smoothly back and forth between your pussy lips. A low groan emits from his lips, hand gripping onto your ass to keep you close. He sucks onto your bottom lip before biting down and pulling back.

"Always make me feel so good." He whispers, feeling your wetness spread across his length. It's almost embarrassing how quick you can make him cum just by doing this but god, it felt heaven sent. Just being with you, by you, all around you, felt heaven sent.

"I could at least do my part somehow, right?" You giggle, nipping at his chiseled jawline while rocking along his length, picking up your pace at the same time. He feels your tongue swipe against the surface across his throat, making Yoongi let out a moan that has him stressing—

"B-baby, gonna make me cum—fuck—" His pants getting heavier, cock twitching underneath you. You glide slowly, feeling his tip brush up against your clit before sliding back down before picking up your pace again.

"Gonna cum with you." You whisper, feeling yourself tipping over the edge with every move you make at this point. When Yoongi finally lets himself go, it's mid-kiss and he's having to grip your waist tightly as he releases white ribbons messily all over your legs and in between. You tremble in his grip, allowing yourself to fully let go as well while he holds you close.

"That felt so good, princess." He presses a kiss against your temple, holding you close to him as you come down from your own high. He grabs a few napkins from the nightstand to clean you both up nicely before he's tossing it into the trash can and shutting his eyes when his body crashes back onto the mattress.

"Yeah it did." You throw your leg over him as you lay on his chest and listen to his heartbeat slowing down. "Are you really gonna sleep?"

"Baby." He laughs. "Yes?! As much as I love you, you fucking wear me out. Sheesh." You chuckle.

"Fine."

"Goodnight. Expect me to wake you up bright and early though."

"Mhm." You tease as he kisses the top of your head. As promised, Yoongi does wake you up very bright and early for another round. And you loved these moments with him, you loved it even more now because he was yours and you were his. No more of that bullshit, that fuckbuddy-no-strings-attached-but-kinda-strings-attached grey area you both had going on for years.

It just felt right.

When the both of you split ways in the morning for work, you figured you'd visit him during his lunch just to spend more time with him [as if you didn't already]. Rissa calls you while you drive over to the parlor just as she makes her way to the airport as her work trip finally comes to an end.

Not only was Yoongi yours, but your bestfriend was finally coming home.

Yeah, shit felt right.

"You better tell him I'm coming over as soon as I reach the airport so I can tease the hell out of both of you."

"Yeah, yeah."

"I'm so happy. Fucking finally. I get to come home. I get to spend time with my bestfriend. I get to see her happy. Maybe I'll finally find somebody to mess with at Blissful Hands, too."

"Please." You laugh. "Don't even start."

"Can't promise." She squeals. "I'm excited. I'll text you as soon as I'm on my way over, alright?"

"Oh, you were serious?"

"Yeah I fucking was, you better make room for me. Yoongi can wait." You nod.

"Alright, alright. Speaking of him, I just got here. Have a safe flight, okay? I love you."

"I love you too!" You end the call and tuck your phone into your purse before heading into the establishment.

"Goodmorning Miss Y/N." Yannie smiles at you.

"Hey!"

"He's on his lunch in the back."

"Cool, thanks." You say, heading back towards Yoongi's room. On the way over, you see his colleagues getting ready for their own clients. One smiles at you [Taehyung or was it Namjoon?] while the other mumbles to him—

"Great, gonna have to hear him fuck her brains out again." Which you catch on the way to Yoongi's, making you giggle to yourself before you greet your man and shut the door behind you.

tags: @spideyjimin​ @miinoongi​ @thebeebi​ @ggukkieland​ @bluesharksandfish​ @unicornbabylover​ @preciouschimine​ @codeinebelle​ @shesoldbutcute​ @jikookiekosmos​ @awhnamjoon​ @namjooningelsewhere​ @bunnybearrj​ @babycoffeefire​ @bri-mal​ @sintaethick​ @taejkjoons​ @love2luvya-blog​ @pb-n-juju​ @dianaxnyc​ @fan-ati--c​ @jungjoonie​ @jcsmae​ @favouritesblog​ @ppeachyttae​ @awseokjin​ @jjk1iscoming​ @moonchild1​ @vantxx95​ @genzslayer​ @knjeuphoria​ @jksjx​ @oogawooga222 @yoonqki​ @halesandy​ @chimchimmarie​ @deliciousdetectivestranger​ @lookhere-2seok​ @persphonesorchid​

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