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purpleyoonn · 26 days

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The Line Between Love and War 12

C H A P T E R 1 2: PTD D1 AND OVERSTIMULATION

“It is said that the night sky is made up of tiny wishes that humans were never able to fulfill. That the stars only became bright by the fulfillment of those wishes. In your eyes, the stars that shine never seemed real, your childhood wishes dark and dim as you grow. But now, now you understand the twinkle in their eyes as they look down at you.”

Summary: Your experiences told you that soulmates were something you would never have the pleasure of having; something not given to you because of who you are, despite the soulmark that resides on your inner left wrist. During your solo trip to Los Angeles, you find out that you are more than capable, that your soulmates had been waiting for you for a long time, and would not be letting you go anytime soon.

Genre: soulmate au, bts au, idol bts, polyamory relationship, eventual smut

Paring: Idol!BTS x autistic!mc

Status: Ongoing (randomly updated)

Warnings: mental illness, talk of disability, lots of angst, miscommunication, feelings of depression, feelings of isolation, polyamory bts, stalking, dangerous behavior, eventual smut,

Chapter Warnings: the concert, overstimulation, shut downs, not much, lots of feelings,

Taglist: @azazel-nyx @yuzon3 @hannahdinse8 @quirkybtsarmy @mageprincess7 @fluffy-canada-pancakes @suckerforv @chaoticthingpizza @drissteele @carolinexkpop @avadakadabra93 @lachimolala22019 @justaweird0 @singukieee @welcometomyworld13 @toughbook @kimana122 @kpopmultistantrashsstuff @0funsite0 @joyless-living @sinceritythatcouldntbedelivered @elliott-calls @psychosupernatural

Masterlist // Chapter 11 // Chapter 13

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Previously on The Line Between Love and War:

“Alright then. We well let Sejin and Seungho know. For now, I would appreciate if I could have some pre-concert kisses from my littlest mate.” Namjoon reached his arms out, pouting his lip a little knowing it would cause you to laugh at him.

You struggle to get yourself out of Hobi and Taehyung’s embrace, who noticeably tightened their grip once Namjoon opened his arms.

“Heyyyy, not nice!” You whine, finally pulling yourself away and falling into Namjoon’s arms.

“But we want pre-concert kisses too!” Taehyung whined back, making you laugh again, hiding your face in Namjoon’s neck.

You could already hear Army beginning to enter the arena, voices and screams echoing as the pre-concert videos started to play on the big screens. Taehyung was sitting with you, having finished getting ready first. He was in the middle of making sure you were okay being in the security gates in front of everyone else. He knew how loud noises made you feel.

“Don’t worry Tae! I’ve got the headphones that Yoongi gave me.” You smiled wide at him, hoping that would reassure your stressed-looking mate. It didn’t reassure him at all though. He opened his mouth to say something else but was cut off by Seungho.

“Come on, Y/n. We need to get you to your seat before the boys start.” Seungho gives Taehyung an apologetic glance and nod before he starts to lead you out of the room. But before you can leave, you turn around and quickly give each of the boys a hug, not wanting to kiss them in case it ruins the make up the make-up artists spent so long on.

“Good luck! I’m so excited!” You tell the last part to Seungho as you hold your hands up to your chest, your fists shaking in excitement.

You went from traveling about a week early to experience Los Angeles by yourself because you couldn’t get any tickets to now having seven soulmates and being able to attend not just one, but all four of the PTD La concerts. Your entire life literally changed at the blink of any eye, or well, more like running into a wall.

“This is your first concert, correct?” Seungho asked you, not remembering if you’ve attended anything before.

“Yes!” You exclaimed back, your fists still shaking as you make it to the stairs that will get you to the ground floor and into the security gates in front of the stage. There was a good maybe ten feet between the security gates for the floor seats and the stage where the boys would be performing.

Hobi explained it to you that you would have a seat in the section right in front of the edge of the stage, and that it wouldn’t be close to the floor seats where Army is seated.

They were worried to say the least. While they loved Army, and trusted them with you, they also knew there were some “fans” who were not happy that they found their last soulmate, and that it wasn’t any of them. They wanted you to be safe, which was why they wanted you up with their family in the box. Obviously, due to your fear of heights, they had to figure something else out, wanting you to experience their concert like an Army.

Seungho escorts you to the seat set aside but you don’t sit down, to excited and pumped up. You stood watching the stage, taking everything in. It seemed way different than it did earlier before sound check. The entire atmosphere was different. You could feel the energy and excitement of every single Army coming in and finding their seats. Some even running down to the 100’s section.

What caught your eye though was the people who had soundcheck coming back down to the floor section, all running towards you. You startled, Seungho moving directly in front of you once he caught the movement of the crowd. You held onto his arm before letting go just as quickly, not knowing if he was comfortable with your touch.

Despite your aversion to touch, you felt safe with him; you just didn’t know if he also had an aversion to touch and you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

However, a single, subtle nod from him let you know your actions were okay, holding onto his arm again as you try to peak over or around his broad shoulders to see the group of Armies still running your way. You didn’t know if it was because you were directly in front of the stage or what, but seeing a group of men and women running towards you scared the crap out of you.

Now you understand how celebrities feel when fans spot them out and about, without security with them.

“Stay behind me please, Y/n.” Seungho told you, feeling you trying to peek around him. He had a feeling they were rushing for you, trying to get close to the barrier in front of you. He had been watching your social media, following the discussions and posts about you. You were well liked by a lot of people, and also not so liked by some. He didn’t know which it was coming for you tonight, and he didn’t like it.

You could hear your name being called; pictures being taken of you. It was weird and seemed a bit unreal, just like earlier when you did the Instagram live. You could feel some other members of the boys’ security team moving to help Seungho.

“Seungho, I think they are just excited. I don’t think they’ll hurt me. I have you to help protect me. Plus, there is about five feet between my seat and the barrier.” You were not going to lie, you were freaking out. But you didn’t want Seungho or the boys to have to worry about you the entire time, and if Seungho continued to try and hide you from Army, you knew that would happen.

He looked back at you, and seeing how serious you were, only moved a couple inches to the left, still in front of you but not necessarily hiding you. Taking a deep breath, and trying to hide your nervous stimming, you looked at Army.

“Hi guys! Please enjoy the concert! The boys have worked super hard and are so excited to see you guys again.” You spoke loudly, not wanting to yell in Seungho’s ears as he still stood close.

“Y/n! What song are you excited for?”

“Y/n! Have you completed the bond yet?”

“Who is your bias?”

You ignored the second question, and the others like it that were being yelled your way, instead, you tried to answer some of the questions, but didn’t want to make the night about yourself. This night was about the boys, not you.

“Please guys, the concert is about to start!” You decided to move back to your seat and not stand in front of the barrier anymore.

You were now actively stimming, your body trying to help you feel more comfortable with the attention and new experiences. Your fists were clenched in front of you, shaking fast back and forth. It was a stim you’ve been doing since you were a kid, something you did when you got really excited or happy. You tried not to, despite how much you needed to, because you always felt embarrassed when doing that particular stim. You had been made fun of before for doing it, so instead you rocked your body forwards and backwards slowly.

It took a couple more minutes before you could hear the intro starting, music slowly becoming louder until the boys came on stage from below. It also took the same amount of time for you to become completely overwhelmed and overstimulated. Despite your headphones, the music was loud and seemed to be louder than the screams behind you. The lights were flashing and the movement of the boys on stage had you practically shutting down. The stares you could feel on your back didn’t help, either.

You tried hard not to though, even though you know you needed it. Your boys needed this more. This was the first concert for them since the pandemic started and the went into the army. You knew they were happy being back on stage after so long and didn’t want to ruin anything for them. You wanted them to see you happy and not having any issues. You didn’t want them to worry.

You could feel the sting from your nails digging into your palm as you clenched your hands. Your voice gone as you tried to show some kind of emotion resembling happiness or awe on your face. You didn’t need Seungho trying to bring you back into the dressing room and alerting everyone that something was wrong.

So, you spent the rest of the concert rocking back and forth and mouthing along to all the songs the boys sang. Your nails were practically stuck in your palm and you were stuck in your head. You could tell the cord connecting your mouth and brain wasn’t connected anymore and didn’t know when it would again.

You just wanted Jungkook to hold you and rub your back again but figured you probably wouldn’t get that tonight. They would probably be too pumped up with adrenal after the concert to do anything other than want to celebrate with army like normal.

You could probably get away with cuddling up to Yoongi’s sweatshirt again as you laid in your shared bed. You didn’t want to bother them when they shared this excitement and happiness with army after so long. The last thing you wanted was to be a burden.

-*-*-

Despite being completely overstimulated, you thought the concert was amazing. You don’t think you would go to one again, but you could see why so many people always praised your soulmates’ concerts and performance skills.

You waited in the dressing room as the last notes of the last song play out throughout the stadium speakers. Seungho had thought it a safety issue to exit with the rest of army to try and make it backstage. So, he had taken you back during the second to last song.

You still haven’t spoken a word, and Seungho could tell something was wrong. Your facial expression was vacant and it seemed as though your eyes were glazed over as you stared down at the small table in front of you. He was worried.

You almost didn’t notice the arrival of your soulmates, mind gone to the stimulation you felt.

“Hey baby! Did you have fun?” Jin came up and sat next to you on the loveseat, securing the spot next to you before anyone else. It was a couple of hours until his birthday and he was feeling the excitement of having his birthday with his finally complete soulbond group.

But once he saw you, zoned out and not even registering their entrance, he had a feeling of what was going on. He was reminded of the closet incidence, your wide eyes glazed and unable to track what was going on. He moved in front of you, kneeling down so he could catch your eye.

“Baby?” Jin tried, but you were gone. He now had the attention of the others, and Taehyung and Yoongi made it over first.

“What should we do? Should we hold her like last time?” Taehyung asked, remembering how Jungkook held you in his arms and how the physical contact helped bring you back.

“Here, let me try something.” Namjoon took control, switching places with Jin who now sat back next to you. Their movement didn’t phase you, your eyes still glazed over.

Namjoon moved slowly, just in case you came back to, and moved so his palm was cupping your cheek. At his touch, your eyes became focused again and he could see how truly tired you were.

“Hi baby girl. Are you okay?” He knew you weren’t but he still needed to know if something was physically wrong, and you seemed to know his intention as you shook your head no. At this response, they all knew you were nonverbal; Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung all watching from the back as their hyungs take over the situation.

“How about we go back to the hotel, and have a relaxing night, hmm?” Namjoon asks but stops as you shake your head, grabbing tightly to his forearm. His face scrunched up in concern, wondering what was going on through your head.

You swallow your spit, trying your hardest to push words through your lips, only for them to keep getting caught in the back of your throat. Finally, you manage to push through one word, hoping they understand what you mean.

“Celebrate.” You word is raspy, as if you had a bad cold recently.

They had just gotten back from the military only months ago, managed to plan two weekends worth of content and concerts for Army, and as only a fan could know, they usually celebrated the concert afterwards with a live. You didn’t want that taken away from Army, and you didn’t want the boys to break a tradition just because you got overstimulated. It didn’t seem fair in any way.

You would be fine; you always were before. Yeah, it might take time, but you would be fine.

Army needed the boys more than you right now.

“What do you mean baby?” Jimin asked from behind Hobi, eyes narrowed in confusion as he watches your expression.

You knew you couldn’t push out another word, so you grabbed Namjoon’s palm from your cheek and held it flat in front of you, using your pointer finger you traced the word Army on his palm, hoping he would get it. You even trace it in Hangul when he didn’t get it in English.

“You want us to celebrate with Army?” Namjoon finally realizes what you were trying to say, nodding his head as it clicks.

You nod your head in response but stop once you see the look on your soulmates faces. You could tell they didn’t understand why you were asking them that. Why you wanted them to celebrate with army even when you weren’t doing good.

So, you pull out the big guns, something Jimin taught you when Jin kept telling you no more ice cream. Jimin said it would bring out an immediate ‘yes’ from the hyungs every time, so you tried it.

You pulled out the puppy dog eyes and the lip pout.

An immediate round of groans sounded throughout the room, every single one of your soulmates looked away from you, trying not to be drawn in by your expression.

To seal the deal, you brought your hands together, folded in a way that everyone usually added with pleading words, but you couldn’t speak right now, so you held your clenched hands up close to your face.

Eventually, Jin was the one who folded.

“Alright baby! But we have some conditions.” He raised an eyebrow at you as you turned to face him.

“We’ll do the live as long as you are there with us, so we can see you and make sure you’re okay. You’re going to drink some water, and let one of us hold you until the live, because that helped you a lot last time.” You knew they were talking about the last time you got too overstimulated, so you agreed.

Maybe selfishly, though, you agreed to the terms. You kind of just wanted to be cocooned in like a little safety nest as you watched the boys do their live, maybe covered in one of their shirts or sweaters again. They always made you feel safe and comfortable and were slowly becoming a part of your collection of safe clothing.

“Okay, boys, lets grab our things so we can get back to the hotel. Namjoon, why don’t you grab out little soulmate and go get into the car, we’ll grab your things.” Jin clapped his hands together after moving the night along, wanting to get back to the hotel.

It didn’t take but a couple seconds for Namjoon to pick you up, his hands moving under your thighs and holding you to him so you were chest to chest.

“Come here baby. Let’s go.” You looked around for your backpack, only to see Seungho handing it off to Jungkook who had deemed your backpack his responsibility. You can’t fight him for carrying you this time, exhaustion finally hitting you as you tuck your head into the curve of your soulmate’s neck.

It was a good thing too, as you didn’t realize some fans had figured out where the boys’ vans were and had been waiting outside for you all to leave, phones at the ready to take pictures and videos. This also meant that it would take longer to get back to the hotel, as some fans loved trying to follow the boys to figure out where you all were staying.

One of Namjoon’s hands moved from your holding your thigh to covering your face, protecting you in what he considers a vulnerable moment. He walked faster, Sejin moving with him so he could open the door for you both before having a word with one of the drivers.

Even as you get into the car, and Namjoon’s sits down, he still holds you on his lap, crossing his arms behind your back so you were practically glued to his chest. He moved his left hand lower, almost touching your butt as he moves his hand under your shirt, making contact with your back and begins rubbing his hand up and down your back. He knew this helped you last time and it was one of the only things he had to go on right now as far as helping you out of your shut down.

You both wait patiently for your other soulmates, time passing slowly as you turn your head and watch fans take pictures of the van. You knew they couldn’t get pictures of you through the tinted windows, but you still felt a little vulnerable. You were unable to protect yourself in anyway, nonverbal and in the middle of a shutdown, and it was a little daunting.

You turned your head back into Namjoon’s neck, your head resting against his chest as you watch the boys all begin to make their way quickly to the vans. Jungkook, Hobi, and Yoongi made their way into your van, while the others went into the first one.

“Okay, so Sejin is going to separate our vans, each going a separate way to make it back to the hotel so we aren’t followed. We also have three deco vans waiting to draw confusion.” Yoongi’s voice was raspy and slow from the concert and his own emotions.

He, along with the others were feeling a lot of emotions from finally being able to perform at a concert for Army, but also watching you shut down from the very same concert. It was a lot.

“How is she?” Jungkook asks quietly.

Out of all your soulmates, Jungkook seems to have taken on most of the responsibility for your care and well-being on himself. He finally has a soulmate younger than him, that can rely on him and that he can provide for. So, for him, he has put the responsibility on his own shoulders, something his soulmates have already talked to him about.

“I’m okay.”

You were. You had just been relishing in Namjoon’s touch and had felt the connection build again between your brain and mouth. You still weren’t used to being taken care of, to mean something to other people, and you knew it would take a while but you loved the way they worried about you, the way they cared for you.

It was the same way you cared for them.

-*-*-

It had taken you over an hour to make it back to the hotel. There had been several vehicles trying to follow you, the final car getting lost at a traffic light about fifteen minutes ago. To be safe, the driver kept driving around.

Your van had been the last to make it back to the hotel, and when you go to the room, a small bundle of blankets and pillows, along with some of the boys’ sweaters had been made into a little nest for you by the far wall close to the kitchen. You were in perfect view of the boys as the couches and chairs had been rearranged so they could all be in view of the camera.

When Namjoon let you down, a bundle of clothes had been shoved into your hand as Jimin led you to your shared room with Yoongi and Jin to change. Jimin walked into the bathroom while you changed into a pair of your comfy leggings and one of Taehyung’s shirts.

After doing your skincare for you, wanting you to feel nice and clean while you waited for them to be finished, Jimin helped you back into the living room and into your small nest, bundling Jin and Jungkook’s sweater around you while you watched the boys set up snacks and drinks on the coffee table.

“Okay, now, don’t move.” Jimin pointed his finger at you, his face scrunching playfully as he tries to make you smile. And it works, a small giggle making its way out of your mouth catching the attention of your soulmates.

“Here,” he pulls your phone out of his back pocket, pulling up the live on it before handing it to you. “Keep an eye out for questions you think we should answer, okay baby?” He asks you, wanting you to still be involved in their tradition with Army. While he would rather you be seated with them on the couch, he knows it’s not what you need right now.

“I will, Minnie.” You nod and smile tiredly at his request. He smiles back, kissing you softly before pulling back entirely, Jungkook taking his place with a bottle of water for you. He stays quiet, kissing your forehead before moving to sit with Hobi and Joon on the couch.

You watch them as the live starts, hundreds of questions showing up on the screen as thousands of viewers turn into millions. At first a lot of the questions are about you, why Namjoon was seen carrying you out of the venue and some were even asking why you stayed seated the entire concert.

The boys said a simple response to questions about you. They agreed that they wanted to stop the rumors of any health issues or problems while they could, especially after Namjoon was seen carrying you out.

“Y/n is doing okay and is resting here with us after a long and overstimulating day. She had a lot of new experiences and is in the middle of processing them.” Namjoon spoke in his leader voice, glancing at you for a few seconds as he speaks.

The questions and comments continue, but this time mainly about the boys and the concerts and their upcoming plans. You even commented a few things, trying to remember what it felt like to be Army, commenting “I love you” and hoping they would see it.

You did that the entire time, finding cute little comments and even yelling out “Yoongi Marry Me” every time you saw it which did not amuse your cute soulmate who only looked your way while the others laughed every time. You also drank your entire bottled water, knowing that was one of the promises you made to Jin.

And in the end, once the live was finished, he was the first to go to you, picking you up out of your little nest and into his arms. You were feeling a lot better, no longer overstimulated due to your soulmates care.

“How are you feeling, baby?” You could hear the concern in his voice.

“I’m doing a lot better! You all always seem to know what to do.” You hug him tightly, kissing his jaw in a show of thanks.

“Well, I bought tickets for an amusement park for tonight for us. Do you think you might be up for it?” Jin couldn’t even finish his question before you were squealing in his ear, jumping from his hold and rushing to your shared room.

“I guess that is a yes.” He told Yoongi and Taehyung who were staring at Jin, seeing the entire thing before walking off to the room.

Jimin and Jungkook were already in the room, helping you pick out a matching outfit with Jin, who was going in a pair of his overalls and a white shirt. He wanted you all to match, but you and Jimin were the only ones who currently had a pair of overalls to wear.

You were excited, jumping in your seat as you waited for everyone else to get ready to go. You loved the rides and playing the games but you think your favorite was the food. You never really went to the fair often, which was as close to an amusement park as you had gotten, your mother thinking going to a big field full of people of all walks of life below her standing.

But you loved it and couldn’t wait to experience it with your soulmates.

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kittenintheden · 4 months

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BG3 Fics & Drabbles Masterlist

thought I should probably start a masterlist. it's mostly being horny on main for Astarion lbr.

One-Shots

Where were you, when I was new? - 18+, Pre-Canon, Virgin Astarion, Law Student Astarion

No Thoughts, Just Vibes - 18+, Post-Canon, Spawn!Starion, sex toys, holiday fluff

Closer to God - 18+, breeding kink, sex pollen-ish (everyone aware/consenting, just big horny), heat/mating, rough sex, but also tender sex

Professionals - 18+, roleplay, sex work, biting, blood drinking, oral sex, PIV sex

You Can Read Me Anything Part 1 | Part 2 - 18+, innocent Tav, illiterate Tav, secondhand smut via fake bodice ripper, first time oral, retell of the forest clearing scene, Astarion playing himself

Ethics Review - 18+, magistrate roleplay, post-canon, light BDSM, spanking, orgasm denial, dirty talk, light edgeplay, oral sex, PIV sex

How could I say no? - 18+, dirty talk, established relationship, AFAB F!Tav (3rd person), sexy kisses, teasing, orgasm delay, analingus

Poker Face Real Version | April Fool's Version - 18+, gender neutral Tav, quickie, semi-public sex, sex in a closet (sort of), wall sex, blowjob, penetration

Right Side of My Neck - 18+, female OC, oral sex, PIV sex, mirror sex, stoned sex, Ori and Astarion get high and Astarion gets the weed hornies

how to train your brat - 18+, future NYS sneak peek, Ori bratting, Astarion brat-taming, light BDSM elements, soft dom Astarion, dirty talk, light spanking, blowjob, PIV sex, the dorks being complete menaces

Drabbles (under 1k)

Sip the Tea - 18+, temperature play, blowjob

Devil Inside - 18+, Haarlep being an asshole, Astarion making it better

music to my ears - 18+, eargasm, ASMR, touchless orgasm, creaming pants

Mirror Image - 18+, oral sex, 69 position

Let Go - 18+, fluffy, gentle sex, disgustingly in love about it

Before Morning's Light - 18+, fluff, comfort after nightmare of the needy nighttime quickie persuasion

Here for Wyllstravaganza? Find all the Wyll Ravengard goodness here!

People send me Ask Box prompts sometimes - you can find all those here!

Long Fic

Not Your Sweetheart (AO3) - 18CHA bard Orianna vs 10CHA dumbass rogue vampire, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, absurd amount of zingers & hijinks

NYS Spotify Playlist - The playlist that accompanies Not Your Sweetheart, updated every chapter <3

Masterpost of Ori Art - The non-spoilery art I have of Ori (and Astarion, occasionally), with all artists linked

Header art of Ori by Freya

Icon art by @hamrikaa

#astarion #astarion bg3 #astarion smut #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #astarion x gn!tav #astarion x gender neutral reader #astarion x oc #astarion x f!tav #astarion x female tav #kitten writes

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kookslastbutton · 8 months

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enamored ༓ myg (m) | one

✑ Summary: Min Yoongi is nothing like what you imagined him to be when you saw him preform at the local cafe in town. Yet little by little he surprises you with his true self, until somehow you find yourself completely enamored with him.

pairing: new independent artist!yoongi x veterinarian!reader

genre/AU: fluff, angst, eventual smut, strangers2acquaintance2lovers, mini-series

word count: 4,643

Warnings: Nothing too heavy but oc is around 25, mention of unhealthy past relationships, yoon is a struggling artist, talk about social insecurity, cats, the rest of the fluff stuff is for you to find out haha

now playing: cold/mess

a/n: Due to me and my fellow Yoon enthusiasts missing myg, I bring us this three-part mini-series. I'm not sure how this will go but hope you enjoy! 🥰 Lowkey has me thinking of Yoongi pre-debut days.

Tonight’s the first night the local coffeehouse you and your friend, Nara, visit for weekly rant sessions is showcasing musicians of all backgrounds, statuses, and genres. And you are very much looking forward to the absolute cutie pictured in a fluffy sky-blue cardigan, a big gummy smile on, and undeniably soft, chocolate eyes.

His arms casually rest atop his guitar followed by the words ‘Agustd’ in scripted font underneath. You’ve never heard of him before but you’re convinced that he’ll play something light and uplifting given the aesthetic of his image displayed on the TV screen.

“God it’s packed like a football stadium here,” Nara interrupts your gaze on the tv from across the table. She sits with her hands folded on the wooden surface, a giant diamond sparkling on her left hand.

“You’re telling me,” you tsk. “I already came close to bumping into a middle-aged man with two lattes in his hands and a couple of college girls attempting to film a TikTok on our way in.”

It’s no exaggeration to say the cafe itself is swarming with new faces who are eager for a night of leisure while overworked baristas rush to fulfill orders. You have the innate instinct to offer them your help, though they’d likely advise it’s better for you to remain seated.

“Have you ever been to a football stadium though?” You ask more condescendingly than intended, but you find her analogy amusing since she’s never been one to pay attention to sports.

Nara rolls her eyes at your light probing. “No, but I’ve seen pictures. You know how big of a fan my Yunjun is of football. He’s gone to the United States to watch the super bowl eight times now.”

She says it proudly, but the reality is that her lovey Yunjun has not once invited her to go with him. Instead, he takes three of his closest friends and disappears to the other side of the world for two weeks. Everyone knows the super bowl only lasts one day so why the hell is he there for that long? Likely to get drunk with his buddies, that’s why.

“You know I don’t like him,” you say bluntly. “Why are you marrying him again?” Nara’s confident smile turns into a defensive scowl as she proceeds to tell you, once again, all the ways that Yunjun “completes her”.

On and on she continues for ten minutes straight until her voice slowly drowns out to the clapping and cheering of the crowd behind her. A young woman named Yuri just finished performing a few of her original songs and is thanking the audience for listening. You lightly clap along in politeness.

“Anyway, as I was saying,” Nara pipes up once the crowd falls silent again. “Yunjun is extremely thoughtful. Yesterday he messaged me to meet for lunch without me having to ask first.”

“Uh huh…” you drawl out, eyes shifting between her and the distracting movements of bodies behind her. The young woman who just performed steps off the stage while a young man steps forward to take her place.

You struggle to keep eye contact with Nara as said man lazily slumps himself on the wooden stool at the front of the room and balances his acoustic guitar on his knee. He looks like he just rolled out of bed ten minutes ago; hair tousled about, a big black sweatshirt covering half his body, and possibly the most somber facial expression on.

Is that the same guy from the promo image? Agust something?

You lean your head to the side and past Nara’s head to get a better view.

It is him but he looks so starkly different from his photo on the TV screen. His mood is much more melancholy than you imagined, like Grumpy Bear from Care Bears.

It makes you wild with curiosity.

You find yourself placing a hand under your chin, intent on listening to his every word. By now, Nara's noticed your interest in the musician so she's stopped talking and pays attention to him as well.

“Hi, I’m Agustd and I'm an independent artist,” he introduces himself in a low voice, lips pressed to the microphone. His focus is set on the audience in front of him at first but then, as if feeling your heavy stare, he flicks his eyes directly into yours. "I'm also known as Min Yoongi."

You feel your stomach flutter at the gesture which only seems to grow in intensity when he doesn't bother to remove his gaze from you.

He can't actually be looking at you, right?

"I'm starting off with a song I wrote a few years ago titled Seesaw," he continues. "I wrote it while going through, what I thought was at the time, a hopeless period of my life. Please enjoy." And with that he begins strumming on the chords of his guitar, eyes slowly closing to immerse himself in the beautiful music.

Everyone is on the edge of their seats as much as you when he leans further into the mic, lips gently parting.

"In the beginning, well, it was fun

Just going up and down itself

Before we knew, we both became sick of

meaningless waste of emotions

A repeated seesaw, seesaw game

Having come this far, I got sick of, got sick of it

A repeated seesaw, seesaw game

We’re both got tired and became sick of it..."

As Yoongi continues to preform with closed eyes and breathy voice, you take in the rawness of his lyrics. Seesaw tells about relationship that's grown draining; that the weight of staying in something so tiring should come to an end sooner rather than later.

It resonates with you deeply as you've experienced first-hand the challenges of staying in a bottomless relationship. You didn't want to acknowledge it at the time, but you put in all the effort when you and your ex were together. And though it was three years ago since your break up, the constant feeling of exhaustion and being less than haunts you every night.

The vibrations in Yoongi's voice echoing off the mic tells you he's been through similar pain. So much so that it thrums in your own chest and you realize how wrong you'd been to think he'd compose a lighthearted song.

"How crafty the heart of a person is

Though we know one will get hurt if the other is not there,

because we both don’t want to be the bad guy,

we continue to awkwardly pass the buck, umm umm

and end up becoming exhausted, ironically reaching the paralleled balance

Ay, this is not the kind of balance that I wanted..."

With every line, you notice Yoongi's delicate fingers struggling to hold down each chord. It's clear that he's thinking about whoever this song is about in this very moment. Nevertheless, he presses on with a fervent spirit until the end.

You and a handful of people are the only ones who clap when the last line of Seesaw is sung. The rest of the audience is oddly reluctant to applaud and your best guess is that they weren't expecting to hear something so profoundly reflective. The musicians before him had been far more upbeat so to speak.

"Thank you," Yoongi mutters with hesitance. He scans the mute crowd who seemingly cause the air to grow thicker by exchanging awkward glances with one another.

Without another word, Yoongi surprises everyone by standing up from his stool and walking over to the seat he was sitting in before coming on stage. He picks up a few loose papers, and his keys, and zips his guitar into its case before heading for the exit.

"Didn't he have more songs to play?" Nara turns to you with a frown on her face, puzzled at the turn of events.

"I thought so too," you reply, fingers restless as you watch him leave the cafe. "You know what...I'll be right back." You're unsure what prompts you to follow him out other than your unsettled conscience telling you that this isn't the first time he's gotten this type of response and that he deserves better.

"Excuse me, Agustd? Or Yoongi?" You're sure he can hear your voice call to him as he opens the rear door of his beater car. His head whips in your direction immediately.

"Yeah?" He answers simply yet when he sees the white of your eyes, he does a double take; stunned that the only person he cared to recognize the whole night followed him out.

Typically with small gigs like this Yoongj doesn't take much note of the crowd unless they're booing him off the stage. And even then he plays it off. But somehow, your relaxed gaze soothed him, so he remembers you—he remembers the way you made him feel.

"I just wanted to say you sounded good. Better than good actually," you correct yourself, words sputtering out a little too fast. "Seesaw is amazing and you're a genius to have written it."

Your hands get clammier as you approach him. You hope this doesn't sound dumb but something in you won't let him leave without giving him at least a shred of honest encouragement.

The corner of Yoongi's mouth barely quirks up before it quickly falls back down. He sets his guitar in the back seat of his car, then shuts the door and gives you a nod. "Thanks but you don't have to say that."

He moves to the driver's door and reaches to grip the handle but out of nowhere, you stop him by placing a hand over his wrist.

"I mean it," you assure him.

Yoongi doesn't move a muscle as he glances between your hand around his wrist and your seemingly oblivious face. For three seconds you stare at each other with intense eyes, wordless as you take in each other's micro-expressions.

Through the physical contact, you can both feel the rapid beating of each other's hearts but you're unsure if it's simply nerves from an embarrassing situation or something else entirely.

"Sorry." You finally come to your senses and retract your fingers. "I just wanted to tell you that I connected with the lyrics of your song. Not everyone does and that's okay but it really is amazing Yoongi. So don't pay attention to those rude people in there okay?"

At this, Yoongi's expressions soften and a timid smile forms on his plushy lips. He runs a hand through his messy hair, smoothing down some of the loose strands sticking up.

"I appreciate you coming out to tell me this...wait what's your name?"

"__."

"__. Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed my music but don't worry, I don't take it personally when people dislike my songs. It just means it wasn't for them." He shrugs carelessly but there's a hidden sorrow laced in his tone. He holds his chin high yes, but his heart is so deep in his chest.

"Hey," you start. "If I was a music manager I'd sign you on immediately. You don't happen to have that song recorded do you? Uploaded to music platforms or anything?"

"Yeah, I just put it on Spotify actually. I also have some CDs." Yoongi pauses and wets his lips. "If you're interested," he finishes with slightly averted eyes.

"Call me old fashioned but could I get one of those?"

"What?" He taken aback by your response.

"A cd. You said you have one?"

"Uh sure, yeah just a second." He walks to the trunk of his car, opens the lid, and rummages around until he pulls forward a small cardboard box. "I don't have great packaging yet but here's one." Yoongi holds out a plain white sleeve with a disk inside. "Hope you don't mind but I signed my name on it. Thought it would make it personal or something."

You take the disk from his hand and cheese at him. "Wow, I can't believe I'm getting an autographed version right off the bat. How much?"

Yoongi shakes his head. "You can have it."

"No, really how much?" Taking this man's cd without paying him a dime does not sit well with you. Regardless, Yoongi continues to insist.

"It's on me. Maybe when I get to the point where I can have concerts you'll come." He jokes but you remain serious, digging into your pocket for your wallet. You take 26000 won out ($20) and shove it in his hand. "Hey wait!" Yoongi calls after you when you quickly start backing away from him.

"No takebacks!" You holler. "I'm sorry to leave so suddenly but my friend's waiting for me inside. It was nice meeting you Yoongi and I look forward to when you become a raging success. Until then, I'll be streaming your songs on Spotify! Treat yourself to something nice alright?"

He steps forward, mouth falling open as if to say something but nothing comes out. Your face is already turned away from him as he watches you trot back to the cafe'. He rolls the cash in his hand and stuffs it in his back pocket, hoping that maybe he'll cross paths with you again.

A week passes and you've not forgotten your interaction with Min Yoongi. You wish you hadn't run away like you did but it's true that Nara was waiting for you inside. Any longer and she would have sent a search party for you–she's on the extreme end.

Plus, you didn't want him giving the money back to you. It was a noble gesture to hand it over to you for free but it wasn't necessary. Yoongi is an independent artist who's working to establish himself in the music industry and you were more than willing to pay for good music.

You're currently sitting in your car, replaying the affair in your head for the umpteenth time while you wait for your pizza to be ready. You were told you'd get a text notification though it's taking longer than usual, given how much louder the growling of your stomach has gotten.

Finding new ways to distract yourself gets more challenging with each passing minute. You open the glove department of your car and pull out Yoongi's cd, admiring the beautiful signature marked in black ink on the disk.

Seesaw - Agustd 2018

It's crazy of you but you kind of miss him. Yoongi wasn't like anything you expected him to be, so deep and grounded while at the same time warm-hearted. He was incredibly handsome too. And when you touched his arm, eyes piercing into his, it was like you were being magnetically pulled to him.

Is that possible though? Sharing a magnetic force with practically a stranger?

Your contemplation is interrupted when the sound of your phone notification rings off. Finally, your order's ready. You toss the cd back into the glove box and head inside the pizza shop.

"Hi, welcome to Little Slice of Heaven," the young lady at the counter greets you with a cheery smile. "How can I help you?"

"I have an order for __." You open your wallet and hand over your credit card. She takes it from you speedier than you like, ringing it up then returning it to you with a paper receipt.

"I'll go grab it for you." She swiftly turns around, nearly bumping into one of her coworkers. "Shit sorry!" The person gives a small grunt in response before mumbling an 'its fine, I got it'.

"Order for __."

You stash the receipt in your pocket, then look up to take the boxes of steaming hot pizza. "Yes, thank you so m–," You freeze at once at the familiar face in the iconic navy blue Little Slice of Heaven uniform.

"Yoongi?" He seems to be just as motionless as you when you say his name. "I didn't know..."

"I just started," he answers shortly. "It's uh, good to see you again. How have you been?"

"Oh you know, still alive. Pizza helps me." You chuckle to help break the ice. Yoongi doesn't laugh but you do catch his eyes softening the smallest bit. "What about you? How have you been?"

"Good. Music's good too." He runs a hand through his hair, a habit you're beginning to pick up from him. "I–sorry I must sound like an idiot. I didn't expect to see anyone I knew here tonight."

"You don't sound like an idiot. You said you just started working here right?"

He nods.

"Yoongi!" An older man with a navy blue visor on his head calls from one of the pizza ovens in the back. "I need you to deliver this to the lovely couple sitting at table 8. Times ticking!"

Yoongi looks at the man, then at you. He knows what he needs to do except the thought of letting you leave after getting the rare chance to see you again causes him to linger in place.

"It's okay," you try to ease him, despite also feeling conflicted to leave. "You're working. I come here often so I'll see you around." You're only able to take two steps before the same voice hollers to you.

"Wait, __. What are you doing tomorrow at 6?"

"It's Saturday so, probably watching re-runs of Friends. Why?"

For the first time, Yoongi lets out a hearty laugh and you're instantly reminded of his photo from the cafe last week; the one of him in the sky-blue cardigan with his guitar. His expression exudes the same joyful aura as if his two personas suddenly merge as one.

"I love Friends," he says. "The whole Ross and Rachel thing is driving me mad though, like why won't they–"

"Yoongi the food needs to go now!" His coworker yells at him again, wiping his sweat fro his brow. "Tell your girlfriend or whoever that is that you have work to do!"

"She's not my girlfriend!" Yoongi responds with rosy cheeks. "Sorry, I gotta get back to it. I know Friends is tough to compete with but do you think you'd have an hour to spare? We could–I could get a pizza for us to split. Already got your order down." He gives a lopsided grin as he jokes lightly.

"Okay." You break into a smile. "I wouldn't dream of passing up my comfort food." You sound calm but the back of your mind reels with uncertainty. Is he asking you out or is it the so-called "hang out", sometimes masked as a pre-date?

He reaches for the pad of paper on the counter next to him, scribbles something down, and tears it off to give it to you. "Here's my number. Feel free to text me if anything changes. No pressure though."

Once you take the paper from him, he disappears into the back of the kitchen before you can get another word out. Min Yoongi, you hum silently, timid yet takes initiative. Cute.

You decide it's better to see Yoongi's proposal as a hang out rather than a date. It's not like he came out and said, "do you want to go out" or anything. So at 6 pm on the dot, you agree to meet him at Little Slice of Heaven. As promised, he brings a pizza for you to share.

He's already changed out of his work clothes by the time you arrive; sporting a white t-shirt, jeans, and a thin chain necklace. The basic look works on him.

"So I didn't get to ask you yesterday," you start, turning to Yoongi who sits on the swivel stool next to you. "How do you like it here and what made you come?"

He shrugs and places a slice of pizza on his paper plate. "Pays the bills. I was working as a waiter down on main street a few months ago. I chose to leave that place due to poor management and...I lack social skills, evidently."

"Come on, you do not." You refuse to believe it. "Anytime we've talked it's been pleasant so any naysayers probably don't even know what side's up."

Yoongi snorts in amusement. "We've only had two conversations __." He says it flatly yet it doesn't keep your cheeks from feeling flushed, warmth blooming in the pit of your belly. Your name sounds different from his lips this time.

"You're right, and both times you've shown great social skills."

"I think you're stretching it a little. As I recall I was a bit more reserved with you than usual. Must have been awkward for you."

"Not in the slightest," you deny. "There's nothing awkward about being reserved. In fact, sometimes it's better and it typically means you're a better listener than most. And if you were so awful, you wouldn't be working here right? This is food service too."

"Thanks for saying that." He glances down at his hands in his lap, unsure of how much you're saying rings true, then looks back up at you. "I don't need to talk with people as much as I do a server though. It's more like I hand them their pizza and wish them a good life."

"Well, I guess you make a point there. But trust me Yoongi, you don't lack social skills. Can I ask you something though? Weirdly off-topic."

"Shoot."

"It's about your photo from the cafe last week. It showed you in a blue cardigan with a smile on your face except when you came in to play that day..."

An unexpected grin forms on his face as he finishes your sentence. "I looked like I hated my life or something right? Or like Grumpy Bear from that kiddy cartoon, Caring Bears.

"Care Bears."

"Right, Care Bears." He chuckles lightly. "The music I tend to write shows my raw feelings and experiences. A song like Seesaw, as you've heard, is no exception, but I don't think my overall theme has to be dark as well. The image you saw shows the current version of me, the one who's liberated from those past experiences."

"That's extremely meaningful, Yoongi."

"As far as why I showed up in a giant black sweatshirt, it's because I wanted to dress comfortably. I always get a little nervous performing in front of a live audience so it helps. Especially since I'm only a new artist without a label supporting me. I was also a little sleepy from mixing beats the night before too, I won't lie."

"That makes so much sense. How long have you been making music for?"

"Since a teenager. Like thirteen."

"Seriously?" You nearly fall off your chair. Yoongi is a born genius it seems.

"Yeah. I never pursued being an independent artist until now. Resources and connections were pretty grim for me. Since becoming an adult I've made some progress. Still working to get my name out there though."

"I understand." You nod along. "Being an independent artist, you must have to do a lot to gain exposure. Have you considered uploading videos of yourself playing your songs on social media?"

"I've done some and they've been good. I'm actually trying to send my songs to a few record labels but I haven't heard back from any yet. It's been a good six months so I don't know. There's still one that I'm holding out hope for. I only sent my music to them a week ago."

"That's a shame they didn't contact you. Just means they missed out on Agustd which they will, without a doubt, be regretting later. Do you have an estimate on when the newest label will reach out to you?"

"No clue. They say it takes anywhere from a week to three months. By the way," he pauses. "I have to ask. Do you really like my music? I don't mean that rudely or anything."

"Hell yeah, I like it! You're honestly insanely talented and love it actually."

"God," Yoongi fakes an eye roll. "Don't tell me you're my first groupie."

You both share a laugh that can only be described as natural.

"Enough about me." He speaks first after your laughter settles down. "What do you do? Have any crazy hobbies?"

"I'm afraid I don't have any crazy hobbies at the moment. I work as a vet downtown and I don't have much free time unless it's to binge-watch movies on the weekend. I love my job though."

"Ah," Yoongi narrows his eyes as if coming to a drastic realization. "It's all coming together."

"What is?"

"The reason why you're so kind and stable." He gathers several napkins and hands them over to you when some of the water from your glass accidentally spills on the table. "No you have a bright energy to you, but it's not hyper. It's like you really care in a hospitable way. You work with animals which requires a lot of heart. Do you have any pets at home?"

"Yeah, I actually have two cats. Both siamese. I want to get a dog but right now I wouldn't be around to take care of it well. Cats are a little more independent." You wipe up the water with the napkins and continue. "Thanks for saying all that Yoongi. I'm not sure stable is the best way to describe me."

"Well, for what it's worth you're the most stable person I've met. I think everyone needs someone like you in their life."

"I–what kind of people are you hanging around?" You feel flustered so you do the first thing that comes to mind, nudge his shoulder playfully which he laughs at. "I'm not all that. I have faults like anyone else."

"Name one." He taps the table with a finger to make a point. "Dare you."

"I don't know, I dislike vacuuming my rug."

"Oh my god." He covers his mouth to feign shock. "Scandalous. I don't think we should eat together again after that. Wow."

"Stop it, that was a dumb one. I have stuff I swear. If this were a first date I'd be a bit appalled that you're asking me to list my faults. It isn't usually the time you try to pick each other apart."

"Actually, it sort of is to an extent. You have to observe each other right? So those so-called red flags will come up sooner than later to keep you from unnecessary pain and heartache later."

You maul on his words. "Point made. Wish I knew that three years ago," you hum. Yoongi seems to agree with you from the way he quietly nods.

"Ex-boyfriend?" he asks.

"Yup, what about you? Ex-girlfriend?"

He nods again and it puts an end to any further talk about exes or past relationships.

"By the way," Yoongi folds his arms against his chest. "I have a cat too. I got him two years ago at a shelter. He's pretty much my best friend."

The excitement on your face is impossible to conceal. Min Yoongi has a cat? You need to know everything about said cat right now.

"What's his name? Is he a long hair? You give me long-haired cat dad vibes." You're hasty— so sue you, you're a vet. Animals are sort of your wheelhouse.

"His name's Kiwi and he's an overly fed Russian Blue. He's six years old." Yoongi laughs and leans towards you with mirthful eyes. "If you want, I can introduce you to him." He cocks a brow and your shoulders perk up.

"Honest? I would actually die to see your cat."

Yoongi slides off his chair and tosses the empty pizza box in the trash. "Let's go to my place then."

"What?" You crickle the napkin in your hand and toss it on your paper plate. "Now?"

"Yeah now's as good a time as ever." He takes his keys from his jeans pocket and gestures for the door. "Don't worry, I won't make you stay for long."

a/n: thanks for reading! lmk what you think 💞

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no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

#yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #yoongi fanfic #bts fluff #bts x reader #bts imagines #bts smut #bts au #bts fanfic #fic:enamored #kookslastbutton

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reidmotif · 8 months

Text

Safe and Sound

Summary: Reader comforts Spencer after she unknowingly does something to trigger some unhappy memories of his.

Prompt: Spencer Reid going through a panic attack because of Cat Adams. He asks Reader to stop calling him "Spencie".

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: Angst (Happy Ending)/Smut/Fluff

Content Warning: descriptions of a mild panic attack, light allusions to Cat Adams/Prison, pre-established relationship, fluffy, loving smut, he's just super passionate and loves Reader, hickies, slight nipple play, female masturbation, oral sex (f!recieving), unprotected penetrative sex

Word Count: 3.5k

Spencer Reid felt like a cliche in all the best ways possible. From the way he took you on candlelit dinners on your birthday, to how he always found a way to wrestle a bouquet into your apartment right as the last one he’d given you before began to wither, you’d grown entirely fond of the man you’d met 6 months ago. A man you met possibly in the most horrifically cliche fashion.

You’d ordered a drink at a local coffee house, standing in front of the counter patiently, rocking on the backs of your heels as you waited for your drink to be called out so you could head onto work. Then came him.

He was impossible to not notice. He was out of breath, and his leather satchel moved with him as he made a beeline to the counter you were standing at, long legs carrying him across the room swiftly as he grabbed a drink right as the barista put it down. Your eyes widened as you realized the drink he’d grabbed was actually your own, and you quickly put up your hands to warn the man before-

His face scrunched up adorably as he swallowed the drink, and he looked physically pained, and upon looking at your bewildered expression, he grew sheepish.

“That.. wasn’t my drink was it?” He said, slowly, putting the cup down.

You try to play it off, taking the drink back and biting your lip a little at the antics of the man. “Unless you like straight black coffee, then no. Not your drink.” You say, letting a small laugh escape your lips.

It was only then you got a good look at the man, and it wasn’t hard to not like what was in front of you. He had sweet doe eyes, and a mess of brown curls atop his head. His cheekbones were sharp, and yet there was a quality of softness to him, one that made your chest bloom with attraction and want.

“I can pay for your replacement.” He offered, but you shook your head, offering a sincere smile.

“Don’t even worry about it.” You take a sip from the drink where his lips had already touched and watch a rosy tint encapsulate his cheeks, and you internally smile at the thought that he too, could be attracted to you.

“I actually really have to get going to work, but um-” You thought about how you could prolong your conversation with the man, find a way to look into those gorgeous eyes of his, to feel those plump pink lips against yours, until a name was called out by the barista beside you.

“Spencer Reid?” And the sound of a coffee cup being placed on the counter could be heard.

He grabbed the drink, and you took a second to notice his long, slender fingers grabbing the sleeve of the drink. You felt a blush rise to your face as you realized there was a way you could play the situation.

“Hand me your cup.” You say, grinning a bit and reaching your hand out.

Maybe it was corny. Maybe it was totally childish, but considering how goddamn cute the guy was, you weren’t about to let him go.

He furrowed his brows a bit. “Are you going to drink from it to get me back or something?” He said, tilting his head as he subconsciously moved the drink out of your reach.

You laugh, shaking your head. “No, silly. Just trust me.” You say, and the words seem to have a spell on him as he slowly hands you the coffee cup.

You quickly take out a pen you’d been carrying on you and scribble the ten digits of your phone number, signing off with your name and a small heart next to it. You bite your lip as you hand the disposable cup back to him, watching as his confused expression turned to one of curiosity as he read what you’d written.

“I’d love to take you up on that coffee some other time, if that’s alright?" You say, a bit bolder than you normally would have been, but for him? You were willing to embarrass yourself even the slightest bit at the off chance to spend more time with him.

A flush of red spread across his face as he smiled at the cup, then you.

“I’ll call you?” Spencer says, a small grin on his face.

“It’s a date.” You say, mirroring his expression. You check your watch and realize you are beyond late for work at this point. “I really have to go but- I’ll see you around, Spencer!” You say, remembering the name from his coffee cup.

“You too.” He says, and you leave the coffee shop, heart pounding with excitement and the butterflies that came with an act like that.

He wasted no time calling you, actually dialing your number that same day and setting up a place and time for the two of you to meet. First dates were always such a hassle, but Spencer made them so easy. Talking to the man had been the most uncomplicated thing you’d ever done in your life.

You found yourself willingly divulging details of your life as he gave you his. He was an FBI agent. His mother, Diana, was currently at a treatment facility in DC. He says she would like you, and you find yourself falling helplessly for him. He’s earnest and kind. And when he asks you if you’d like to be a more permanent item, you don’t hesitate whatsoever in agreeing.

If dating Spencer Reid was nice, being his girlfriend was even nicer. Moving in with him was possibly the nicest, and in a short amount of time you’d grown used to the domestic bliss and routine living with him provided.

He’d already told you the schedule he was on, in which he’d work a hundred days in the field and then be back in DC to teach a seminary class for thirty days, and you had no problem with it. You were also working full-time, albeit not the insane hours the FBI put him to- but still. You had no trouble coming home to an empty apartment, knowing that soon enough, your boyfriend would be back in your arms.

When he was at home, it was perfect. He’d grade papers on the couch, some documentary droning on in the background. You’d read or use your phone on the opposite side of the couch, occasionally letting your eyes drift to his focused figure. He’d roll his pen between his fingers, sometimes placing it in between his lips as he thought about the next comment to jot down on the paper, or tapping the writing utensil against the side of his cheek with a distant look on his face.

You’d smile to yourself before crawling over, slowly removing the papers from his lap and settling yourself in their place instead. He'd greet you with his hands on your hips, and soon enough, his lips would begin trailing soft kisses along the column of your neck before eventually fucking you right into the couch, having you moan out his name as his perfect cock drove you to your climax.

Needless to say, it was absolutely divine dating Spencer.

Which is why today, things seemed off. He was distant, retreating into himself all day. He shied away from your touch, when normally he’d lean into it. You would generally share some banter in the kitchen, Spencer oftentimes stealing languid kisses from you as you both made dinner, but this time around he seemed sullen, keeping his head down and eyes away from yours as he cooked with you.

You had no idea what had happened.

Things had been normal just a day prior.

You decided to take a little initiative, biting your lips a bit nervously as you came up behind him, wrapping your arms tentatively around his waist, which he responded to by lifting up his arms so you could lean against his back.

“Mm. Something wrong?” You murmur, taking in the scent of his cologne and the feel of his cardigan that he’d occasionally sport around your shared apartment. It was soft, and provided the perfect padding for you to rest your head against as you hugged him from behind.

“No, nothing’s wrong.” He replied, almost curtly. His voice was steady, but the tensing of his shoulders revealed that a lie had been uttered through his lips, and you instantly caught onto it. You may have not been a profiler like he was, but your shared time together had allowed you to find ways to read him, ways that revealed something was truly bothering him in that moment.

“Spence.” You say, hugging him a little tighter. “Come on.” You slowly turn him around, as to get a better look at his face, watching him carefully.

“Did something happen- are.. are you mad at me?” You find yourself asking. It was almost like whiplash, watching your normally sweet and loving boyfriend withdraw like this, and you couldn’t help but worry some part of it was your fault.

He immediately sensed your insecurity and brought his hands to your shoulders rubbing them soothingly.

“Oh, baby.” He said, in a low tone. “Please don’t worry about it like that. It’s just.. work okay?” He says, hesitation in his lips as he said “work”. You narrow your eyes a little and continue to look into his eyes, trying to sense any deceivement on his part.

“Just work? You promise?” You ask, looking up at him. You offered a gentle expression, one that conveyed the enormity of trust and love you’d placed in the man, and hoped the expression was mirrored in him as well.

He nodded and moved to plant a sweet, chaste kiss on your lips. “I promise.”

You return the kiss, smiling softly as you place your forehead against his, looking into his hazel eyes. You felt so safe with him, so comforted, and you genuinely loved him so much for that.

“I love you, Spencie.” You murmur, moving in for another kiss but before your lips can meet his again, he instantly moves you away from him, nearly jumping back and moving himself towards the bedroom, effectively halting the intimate moment you’d been having.

You watched as he went to your shared bedroom, closing the door behind him. Your eyes were wide, unsure what had even just happened. One moment you’d been kissing, and the next he was running away like he was revolted by just the thought of being near you?

You tried to replay the action. You’d said “I love you” before, so that wasn’t it. Spencer wasn’t scared of physical intimacy. He’d shown that as much from how much he enjoyed touching you, having a need to have you close to him in public, always holding onto your hand or waist in enclosed spaces. You bit your lip, trying to regain your thoughts as you realize the only way you’d know what exactly had gone wrong would be to ask Spencer himself. You give yourself a few minutes to pace, before walking slowly to where he’d boarded himself up.

You knock on the door once, your hand already on the knob. “Spencer, I’m coming in.” You don’t hear an answer, and start to feel your pulse speed up. “Spencer? Please? Answer me?”

Still nothing.

In the end, you twist the doorknob, finding your boyfriend curled up on your bed, breathing a little heavier than normal as tear stains streaked his cheeks, and you find yourself instantly heartbroken by the sight.

It no longer matters what was wrong- you just desperately didn’t want him to feel this way. You join him on the bed promptly, your hands going to his hair, trying to soothe him the way he usually liked.

“Spence? Spencer, baby.” You say, softly.

Despite how he’d usually tower over you, right now he looked impossibly small and vulnerable, a look of absolute fear and panic plastered over his face. “Shh. I’m right here, alright?”

He clung onto you, hands abruptly wrapping around your waist as he buried himself into your chest. “I’m sorry.” He said, his voice quiet and small. “I just.” He took a deep breath, and the grip around the fabric of your shirt didn’t let up in the slightest.

You didn’t say anything, only stroking his hair and placing soft kisses on the top of his head. You had no idea what had happened. He had nightmares, yes, but this was different from those. You weren’t sure why this had happened in the first place.

His soft voice broke your thoughts. “Please.. please don’t call me ‘Spencie’ again.” He murmurs, a small sniffle being heard from where he was against you.

You complied straight away, nodding. Things started to click for you when you realized you’d let the nickname slip from your mouth the previous day as a sign of affection. You were quickly realizing the action had the opposite effect. “Yeah, yeah. Of course.” You say, looking down at him with concern, even if he wasn’t looking at you. “I won’t, I promise.”

He takes a breath and adjusts himself, wiping his eyes and looking at you now. “I don’t really- talk about these past few years with you.” He says, softly. “And honestly? I still don’t want to.” He admits, his eyes looking downward with shame.

You shook your head as soon as the words were uttered from his mouth. “Spence- you don’t have to. I.. I like you even if you don’t talk about things. I just want to be here for you, yeah?” You say, trying to convey just how much you loved and cared for him. How badly you wanted to make sure he felt just as secure as he made you feel.

He pauses and nods, but sighs. “I don’t want to get into the whole of it- but a few years ago there was this .. woman.” Spencer says, still looking away. “She really, really got into my head and managed to hurt me in more ways than one.” He looks down and tears start to fill his eyes again. “I don’t really know if I’ll ever be the same again. If I’ll ever be good again.” He murmurs.

Your heart instantaneously shatters with his words as you try to pull him close again. “Hey, hey.” You say, cupping his face. “Don’t say that, love.” Your eyes dart, trying to find the words. “You are- one of, if not the bravest, kindest, loveliest men I’ve ever met.”

He smiles weakly at the words but they don’t seem to take root in his heart. “You don’t know half of the things I’ve done.” He says, his eyes filled with sorrow and you shake your head.

“I don’t need to, and I never will.” You say, softly. “I know you, alright? In all the ways that matter.” You pause, not wanting to say the wrong thing but still wanting to convey just how much he meant to you. “If- if this is you after, after every single bad and terrible thing that’s happened to you- God, Spencer.” You smile softly at him, tracing the nape of his neck gently. “You’re so good, okay?” You whisper. “The best.”

He tears up at that, moving to bury himself in your neck this time and you can feel him inhaling your scent, melting into your touch. You hear him whisper again. “The woman.” He mutters. “She used to call me ‘Spencie' to mess with me. That’s why I freaked out. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” You say, rubbing soft, soothing circles into his back. “She sounds awful, from what you’ve said. I’m sorry I did something that reminded you of her, even if it wasn’t intentional.” You say, kissing the top of his head once more, trying to offer reassurances and love in any small way you could. Anything to make him feel safe.

“It’s okay.” He murmurs, and he moves to kiss your lips, softly. “I love you.” He says, his lips brushing against yours.

You kiss him back, finding your hand going to his cheek now, nodding. “I love you too.”

He starts to kiss you a bit more vigorously and you sense his need for intimacy, for something to remind him of how close the two of you are and you respond readily, moving your lips over his as he positions himself in a way that straddles your hips, your body under his now. You want him to feel protected. To feel known, even if he couldn't talk about his past. To tell him that regardless of what he said or didn't- you'd love him. That he was your home and you were his.

He pulls back and attaches to your neck, leaving wet and hot kisses in his wake.

“I love you.” He murmurs against your skin, lips brushing against the sensitive surface of your throat.

“I love you.” He starts to suck softly along your jugular, making you shudder with pleasure.

“I love you.” His tongue traces the outline of the mark he’d made, sure to bruise by tomorrow.

“I love you too.” You breathlessly whimper, as his lips start to trail down lower and lower. He begins to undo your shirt, as to gain more access to your skin and you allow him, shrugging off the fabric as fast as you can. Your hands move to remove your bra and he's on you swiftly, tongue swirling around your nipple in a way that causes your back to arch into him.

You can feel the way he grins when he feels it, and he continues, before moving onto your neglected breast. Your eyes have fluttered shut from the immense pleasure you’re feeling right now, and you relax into how good he makes you feel. How right this is. How safe you both are with each other.

He moves down further, quickly undoing your pants and underwear in a clean swoop, and with little warning he dives into your wet folds, lapping up an embarrassing amount of wetness that had accumulated with so little of his touch.

His tongue eventually begins to flick against your clit, darting to drive you to the precipice of pleasure you’d been feeling throughout this entire tryst. His fingers plunge into you as well, delivering a satisfying stretch that has your eyes rolling to the back of your head. The combination of his long, slender digits buried inside your heat and the constant prodding of his tongue has you quickly unraveling, your toes curling as you release right on his tongue, which he eagerly drinks in.

When you recover from your orgasm, you watch him, his chin glistening in your arousal, and it is just so fucking hot. You move to return the favor, but he shakes his head.

“I want- I want to feel close to you.” He breathlessly explains. “Can I?”

You understand, quickly lying back so he can reposition himself above you. You watch him undo his belt slowly, pulling his cock out from the confines of his briefs before passing the tip through your wet folds.

“God, you’re so good.” He whispers, and you feel a soft smile grace your face before he pushes into you, slowly filling you, inch by inch.

He moves with purpose, driving into a spot that has you clutching the bedsheets and moaning his name. He whispers sweet nothings as he pounds into you. He treats you like you’re made of glass, like he never wants to lose you, like his life depends on making this as good as possible for you.

You want to do the same for him. You arch your back to take more of him, and he moans at the feeling of your cunt clenching around him.

“Fuck- I’m not gonna last.” He pants into the crook of your neck. You can feel his thrusts getting less rhythmic and you knot your hands in his hair, nodding.

“Me neither.” You moan, feeling your second orgasm rapidly approaching, your eyes screwing shut once more.

He removes himself from your neck and uses his fingers to rub tight, slow circles around your clit and it’s enough to make you tip your head back and climax, the spasms of your cunt being enough to elicit the same reaction from him, his warmth spilling into your deepest point.

He pulls out and kisses you all over. Your face, your neck, your cheek, your lips. It’s as if the sex wasn’t enough, that no action could convey the enormity of his desire and trust when it came to you.

You grab his face as he moves to kiss you one more time, and he looks confused as to why you stopped him, tilting his head.

“I love you, okay?” You whisper, before he can say anything, looking up at him with a loving gaze, losing yourself in his own eyes that shined with the same affection you felt for him.

“I love you too.” He whispers. “I don’t deserve you.” He says, softly. “You make me feel so safe- and wanted and. I don’t know how I can thank you for that.”

“You wanna know a secret?” You murmur, softly.

He nods, and you lean up to plant a sweet kiss on his cheek. “You make me feel the exact same way.”

hello!! tried my hand at writing something just a tad more angsty and sad for @tobias-hankel 's whump challenge! hope you guys liked it. thank you so much for all your support whether its likes or reblogs or comments, i'm grateful for all of it!! ty ty ty

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid smut #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds self insert #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #smut #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds x reader

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louloulemons-posts · 9 months

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Hello! I saw that you are accepting requests for strangeк things and I decided to try ... I really like reading your work and I would like you to write my idea if it's not difficult for you. In general, I sincerely believe that there is very little jealous!Eddie in the world and it kills me. What if Eddie and reader aren't together YET, but Munson is so damn jealous of her for Steve, and Steve and reader don't understand why Eddie is so...mean

+ extra points if Dustin solved all the problems again 😐😐

Sorry if this is too long and stupid! Love you!!!

Words Of Jealousy

Eddie Munson X Fem!Reader

Summary : Eddie can’t stand reader and she has no clue why.

Word count : 2.1k

Warnings : Not proofread, some parts were written at 3am and some at a normal time (i can only apologise i love napping) swears, eddies stupid, minor angst, eddies mean to reader, reader shouts at eddie, reader panics about death (it’s kinda funny), brief talks about the upside down, happy ending, fluffy, idiots in love.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

You don’t really know why’s it like this, but it always had been. Eddie didn’t like you that much was clear. Snide comments, eye rolls, chuckling when you embarrass yourself.

All in all he was an asshole. He came into your friend group a few months back, you’d seen him around before that, but hadn’t interacted much.

Steve Harrington had been your best friend since Pre-K, being inseparable (minus the King Steve - which you’ll forever tease him for) A lot of people assumed you’d end up together, however, the idea of that was gross to both of you.

You had dealt with the whole Upside Down situation also, becoming close with a lot of other people - including Robin Buckley, your other bestfriend and third of your trio.

“So I was thinking, we could have a movie night?” Steve said, his parents had been back for a week and had now gone on another business trip. He needed a fun night after dealing with those two trolls.

“Sounds good, but you’re not picking,” you spoke. “Why not?”

“Because your movie taste is awful,” Robin spoke, shoving a handful of M&Ms into her mouth. “What the hell? It’s not, I literally work in a movie store!”

“Which makes it so much worse,” you sighed, leaning your head on robins. “I’ll pick them out,” Robin spoke.

“Now you I trust.” She leaned her head back and kissed your chin.

“Fine fine, I’ll invite people.”

“Who are people?” you asked.

“Well you know, Nance, Jonathan, the kids, and you know …” he mumbled something.

“What was that?” He mumbled again.

“Couldn’t quite hear you Stevie.”

“Eddie.” You rolled your eyes, groaning. “He’s not that bad!” Steve tried to say.

“To you. He’s horrible to me and I don’t even know why!”

The bell to the store jingled, a sign that someone had walked in. “Speak of the devil,” you said, kissing Robin on the top of the head before jumping off the counter. “I’ll see you guys later,” you said to Robin and Steve, kissing the boys cheek as you passed.

“Aw going so soon Sweetheart?” Eddie asked, exaggerated pout on his face. “Oh bite me,” you said, shoulder bumping him as you went past.

What an asshole.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Steve had called you later on and apologised about the fact that Eddie was coming. He had begged you to come also, of course you said yes. You didn’t like Eddie, but that wouldn’t ruin your relationship with your best friend.

Climbing out of the car with your bag - you planned on staying the night, like most nights. You walked into Steve’s house, calling out a greeting.

“Hey,” he shouted back, head popping round a corner. “I’m taking my stuff upstairs, I’ll be back in a minute.” Jogging upstairs and into your allocated room you placed your bag on the bed. Pulling out your hoodie you slid it on heading back downstairs.

Coming out of the door, you bumped into someone, “Oh shit sorry Stevi- oh,” you spoke, meeting the eyes of a metal head.

“Watch yourself Sweetheart.” Walking away from him you began your decent on the stairs.

“Not talking to me today?” he asked.

“Ha, you’re funny,” you spoke, sarcasm lacing your tone. “Oh yeah, why’s that?” Stopping on a step and turning to him, “Why the hell would I waste my time?”

“Come on Sweetheart don’t be like that!”

“Jesus christ Eddie can you just shut up for one fucking second. I get you don’t like me, but I’m not here for you I’m here for our friends, so get your head out your house.”

His face went still, the playful glimmer leaving his eyes and jaw clenching. “I was teasing, maybe you should stop being such a bitch for once in your life,” he snarled, stomping past you.

As you said - asshole.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Woah, you okay Eddie?” Dustin asked him.

“Princess’ got an issue today,” he rolled his eyes, sighing. “Let’s be honest, you’re not the nicest to her,” Steve spoke up, pulling a can of cola from the fridge for the boy.

“Doesn’t mean she gets to-”

“Eddie I’m telling you this as your friend, you insult that girl in front of my and I’ll break your nose,” Steve spoke, popping the tab and sliding the can to him.

The boy sighed again, taking a gulp of the drink. “Not everyone ends up liking each other and being friends Eddie, don’t take it personally,” Dustin tried to comfort him.

“I wouldn’t want to be her friend.”

“Well lucky me, cause that’s the last thing I want,” you spoke, appearing in the kitchen, making all three of them jump. Eddie almost seemed to wince when he saw you.

“ I get you don’t like me, but do not come in here and speak badly of me to MY friends. You have an issue I get that, you are rude and mean to me all the time and I don’t have a clue why, honestly I don’t care,” you took a breath.

“But do not, speak badly of me to my friends. I would have happily been buds with you, but you don’t want that clearly, every time I’ve been nice you’ve been cruel. Maybe grow up Eddie, fucking asshole,” you spoke.

After he left you on the stairs, you’d turned around and grabbed the bag. You couldn’t do this, even for Steve, you didn’t want to ruin the night with that horrible tension and simmering bitterness.

Turning on your heal you left the house heading to your car, heading your name called behind you. “I’m sorry Steve, just have a good night. I call you tomorrow and me, you and Robs can do something okay.” Kissing his cheek, you climbed in and headed off.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

You didn’t drive home, you felt many things. Angry. Upset. Tired. You never had a solid reason why he didn’t like you and you know, like Dustin said, not everyone gets along. But he got along with everyone else - why not you?

You car clunked. Shit. Could this day be any more shit? It was getting dark too. You had no signal. And you were down a creepy side road. You were dead, that was simple.

Heading to the front of your car, you opened your car up. Smoke flooding your lungs. Well shit, you weren’t bad with cars, but you weren’t a magician. This definitely needed a mechanic.

Looking around you knew where you were, but the walk was far and it wasn’t that safe. You climbed back into the car, placing your head on the steering wheel. All you could do was wait here for now and hope that someone drove passed (preferably not a murderer) or sleep there until morning (and didn’t get killed).

Thank god for your hoodie, Autumn was rolling in quickly this year. Only a few days into September and it was sending a chills all over you - that could also be fear. If a light flickered, you’d vomit on the spot.

You sighed, well you’d better get comfy for now. The sunset was a beautiful sight, but also scary and you wished it would stop.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

You’d been there for a while now, not wanting to waste your gas. It was cold and dark, and you could cry.

The car filled with light, looking behind you, a vehicle drove down the road. Squinting, you tried to make out what it was - a van. Oh shit, yes definitely dead.

Panicking, you tried to start the car again. No use. The lights of the van remained on, but the door of it slammed. Throwing yourself out of the car, you saw the large figure coming towards you.

Attempting to walk as quickly as you could without sprinting, you heading down the road and away from whoever it was. “Hey!” you heard a voice, but continued on your way.

Gravel crushed under two sets of feet, one moving alarmingly quick now. Hands gripped your shoulders and you screamed, squirming to get away. “Hey hey! Sweetheart calm down!” The voice said loudly now.

Shoving away from the person you almost cried out, “Eddie? What the hell?”

“Are you okay?” he asked, hands visible to you, as if you were a scarred animal. “Oh yeah, minus the minor heart attack I’m great.”

“What are you doing out here?”

“My car broke down,” you sighed.

“Have you been here since you left Steve’s.”

“Pretty much.”

“Sweetheart you left 5 hours ago, people are worried.”

“What?” you asked, “Why would anyone be worried?”

“Well …,” he began.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Steve walked back into the kitchen, hand running through his hair. “What is your issue with her?” he snapped at Eddie, unable to ignore the behaviour anymore.

“I don’t have an issue! She’s just not my type of person!”

“Not your type of person, she’s everyone’s type of person. She’s sweet and kind and just lovely.”

“She’s you best friend, you’d think that!”

“So what you just hate her for no reason?”

“I don’t hate her!”

“Then why do you behave the way you do?”

“He likes her,” Dustin spoke up, munching on a potato chip. The older boys turned and looked at her. “W-what?” Eddie asked.

“You can deny it all you want, but you’re acting like most young boys do when they like people. Tease them, which in all honesty is so stupid.”

“Is it true? Do you like her?” Steve asked.

“N-no! I wouldn’t! I wouldn’t do that to you!”

“Do what to me?” Steve asked cocking his head, purely confused. “S-she’s your girl.”

“Yeah my best friend. But she’s not my girl in a romantic sense. That’s gross, we’ve know each other forever, she’s basically my sister.”

“What?” Eddie asked, not really a question.

“God you’re stupid. Go after her,” Dustin sighed. “Henderson’s right, go,” Steve spoke. Eddie nodded, running out of the house and to his van.

Driving to your home he was confused not to see you car there, but knocked the door none the less. Pulled open, he came face to face with your mother. “Oh hello, can I help you?” No judgement at all - that wasn’t common.

“Hi, I’m Eddie. I’m a uh … friend of your daughters. I was just wondering if she was home?”

“Sorry Honey, she’s staying at a friends tonight. I can get her to call you when she’s home,” she smiled at him softly.

“Thank you,” he nodded, raising a hand in goodbye, heading back to his car. “Where are you Sweetheart?” He mumbled to himself.

Deciding that heading back to Steve’s was the best option, to see if she’d cooled off and gone back. He panicked when he saw the absence of your car, Steve would know where you’d go.

Running in the house, he didn’t even bother to knock, calling out for your bestfriend. “You’re back?” he questioned.

“If she wasn’t home where would she be?”

“She’s not home?”

“No,” the metal head sighed.

“Shit.”

“Yeah shit.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“We’ve been looking for you for hours Sweetheart.”

“I didn’t mean to worry anyone, I just didn’t want to walk in the dark.”

“You’re lucky it was me who found you.”

“I know.”

“Seriously you could have been hurt, why didn’t you go home?”

“Because I needed to clear my head!”

“So you come to somewhere unsafe.”

“I was passing through! Why are you so bothered?” you almost shouted at him.

“Because I’d never forgive myself if you got hurt because of me!”

“Why?”

“How can you not know?”

“Know what?”

“I like you! For fuck sake! This is what all of this has been about. I thought you were with Steve and I’d rather you be happy with him and hate me then be nice and let me fall in love with you,” he said in one breath.

“Wha-“

“I know it’s stupid and childish, but I don’t really know how to talk to girls I like! And I panicked and I didn’t want Steve to hate me for liking his girlfriend.”

“‘M not his girlfriend.”

“I know that now.”

“You like me.”

“I do.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I am.”

“I’ve liked you since Middle School.”

“I kno- Wait what?”

“You heard me. Now can you help me with my car because I am freezing.”

“Oh uhh yeah sure. I can get my Uncle to call his buddy to tow it to the shop.”

“Thank you Eddie.”

You headed back to your cars, side by side. “You really like me?” he asked.

“I do. You’d know that if you got to know me.”

“Yeah I guess so.”

“You can make it up to me.”

“How so?” You smiled slightly, then linked your fingers through his ring covered ones. “Take me on a date Munson.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

A/N : I hope you enjoyed this request it was really fun to do more jealous Eddie, but I had to make it happy in the end.

I am having major writes block so if you have any ideas of requests or stuff let me know. I’m currently back in my criminal mind phase so if you’d be interested in fics about the guys from that (-mainly spencer lmao) let me know 🤍

Thank you so much for reading! Please leave any requests 🤍

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pedgito · 5 months

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Hi, this is a newly renovated masterlist to head into 2024 with! All of my old fics (eddie related) can be found here. My guidelines can be found here. This is all strictly Pedro-verse related fics and each fic linked will contain a short summary and word count. If you enjoy these fics, please consider a reblog, it's always appreciated! xo

FOR THE WORK (10k+ words) — Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary: Using your neighbors address for deliveries doesn’t seem like the worst idea until you find yourself with a world of dilemmas and a burgeoning crush on the single dad who lives there. [Pre-Outbreak]

PATROLS (17k+ words) — Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary: A story of how things began, where they ended up, and where they might go. A collection of patrols over the course of several months is forcing you closer to Joel than you ever imagined, tense circumstances leading to hasty decisions and one bad choice after the next. [Set Post S1]

SOFT & SWEET (5k+ words) — Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary: Based around Work Song by Hozier. A comfort fic with lots of angst and fluffy goodness. Content Warnings: mentions of violence/blood/fighting (nothing graphic), joel being in a state of shock, sex for comfort/coping, no heavy sex warning it’s just v intimate, psuedo love confessions bc joel is bad with words

MEET ME IN THE WOODS (Finished Series) — Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary: Taking a much needed vacation for the holiday, you aren't aware your cabin has been double-booked until you're face to face with the other guest the night you arrive, left with a big decision to make and the possibility of a month with a man you know nothing about. But, through communication and isolation, you learn that you and him might not be that different after all. Consumed by your shared loneliness, you find company in the unlikeliest of place—a stranger named Joel, in the middle of the woods. [No Outbreak] (6 chapters)

MET THE DEVIL LAST NIGHT (6k words) — (AU) Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

18+ Demon!Joel, Virgin!Reader, this was little plot lol.

THESE BOOTS WERE MADE FOR RIDING (3k words) — Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Joel doesn't like gifts, you gift him new boots.

HANDSOME, DIRTY, RICH (12k words) — BFD!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

The rich father of your bestfriend, Sarah — Joel Miller, was a mystery to you until one day he isn't and you quickly find that your interest in him isn't one-sided.

MILLER'S GIRL (Finished Series) — (AU) Professor!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary: A sudden infatuation with your professor yields strange, unnerving results and Joel Miller, in his first semester at a new job finds himself in an unlikely position with a student that hides their intentions behind innocence.

UNDER YOUR SKIN (7.5k+ words) — Javier Pena x Fem!Reader

Summary: A new place, a new job, and new problems arise soon thereafter. Javier manages to weasel his way under your skin in more ways than one. The first—stealing your designated parking spot.

REQUEST (untitled) (2.6k+ words) — Javier Pena x Fem!Reader

Request was hurt/comfort, feelings freed after near death experience. Content Warnings: mostly sfw, arguments over commitment/relationships, mention of violence (bombing), descriptions of minor injuries and emotional distress, just lots and lots of angst

IT'S A DATE (2.5k words) — Javier Pena x Fem!Reader

Your boyfriend delivers the worst news possible on what should be a day filled with love. Luckily your coworker is there in wait, not allowing a perfectly good dinner reservation to go to waste.

Ezra (Prospect)

untitled sex pollen fic (6.5k words)

Lucien Flores

BLESSING IN DISGUISE (5k words)

Summary: you’re his best-friend’s daughter and he’s at a party he can’t be bothered to care about, luckily you’re the one thing that catches his attention.

LAST UPDATED: 02.20.2024

#joel miller x reader #javier pena x reader #joel miller #javier pena #joel miller smut #javier pena smut #masterlist*

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psychedelic-ink · 1 year

Text

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐰 - 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐈𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐝

pairing: pre outbreak!joel miller x f!reader, one sided tommy miller x f!reader

genre: angst, smut, romance, slow burn, mutual pining, secret relationship

series summary: After your grandfather’s passing, you find yourself moving into his home in Texas. You meet the Millers; Tommy, his older brother Joel and his daughter Sarah. With time, you and Tommy become close friends and Sarah visits you often. But Joel…Joel keeps his distance. The reason for this is due to one crucial fact you don’t know but he does; Tommy has a crush on you. Which means you’re off limits no matter what. But as your own feelings for Joel grow, things start to get more and more complicated.

additional notes: Joel is 36 and since I saw Tommy's age nowhere, I decided to give them a five-year age gap which will make Tommy 31 in this story. Reader is in her late twenties.

word count: 1.2k

chapter summary: Joel gets a new neighbor.

warnings: none for now!

a/n: thank you to my dearest @pedrito-friskito for editing and allowing me to scream at her over this as always, love you to the moon and back ❤️❤️❤️

chapter one

Joel sits with Tommy on the porch, surrounded by the brilliant warmth of the sun. The sky is a canvas of blue, with a few fluffy clouds lazily drifting by. The air is filled with the sweet scent of blooming flowers, and the gentle breeze feels soft and tender over his sunburnt skin. A car passes by their house and comes to a stop at the next. Sarah is at school, and for the first time in weeks, Joel feels that he can fully relax. He’s speaking to Tommy, but as always, his brother only half-listens, nodding absently as his gaze remains fixed on the woman emerging from the vehicle.

Joel observes the woman stepping out of the car. She looks young, likely closer in age to Tommy than to himself. She carries a box with her as she makes her way into her new home. Her expression is in complete contrast with the bright sunshine and blooming flowers. He knows why. Losing a family member is never easy.

"We should go say hi," Tommy suggests, pulling Joel out of his contemplations. "And maybe help her with the rest of her stuff."

Joel raises an eyebrow, running his tongue over the roof of his mouth before speaking. "You do know how she got the house, right? Her grandpa died. Not exactly a happy occasion."

"Maybe they despised each other—" Tommy counters, but his sentence is cut short as Joel smacks him on the back of the head. The younger brother rubs at the throbbing pain, shooting a glare at Joel, who remains unfazed.

Joel’s eyes drop to the green grass, observing each and every green blade, “The old man talked about her all the time. I doubt there was nothin’ but love going on between them. Have some respect will ya,”

“I feel like that’s all the more reason to go help,”

Joel releases a heavy sigh, loathing the fact that his brother is correct. Without a word, he rises from his seat, the short wooden stairs groaning beneath him as he descends. Tommy is quick to follow, a little too enthusiastically, Joel observes.

Joel approaches the door and gives a short, booming knock. He takes a step back when the door opens, the woman looks at the two men with a confused expression, her eyebrow raised in question.

“May I help you?” she asks, eyes flitting between the two.

Tommy takes the lead, which surprises no one.

"Hi there, we're your neighbors," Tommy says, his eyes briefly scanning the inside of the house. "Thought we might offer some help?"

"Oh," the woman gasps, realization hitting. She quickly extends a hand, a nervous chuckle falling from her chapped lips. She introduces herself, squeezing Tommy's hand first, then Joel's.

Joel notices the way her gaze seems to see right through him, which makes him feel at unease. He clears his throat and points at Tommy, "He actually doesn't live next door, I'm your real neighbor, me and my daughter Sarah," he says, his hand still cradling hers. "Nice to meet you,"

Tommy shoots Joel an exaggerated look of offense, which he ignores but she laughs at. "It's nice to meet you too," she says, her laughter circling them both.

It’s a pleasant sound, one that leaves both men speechless.

“I’m actually done with all the boxes,” she says with a hint of pride. “But I would love to have you and your family over.” she addresses this part to Joel, then she adds as an afterthought; “After I get everything sorted, that is,”

Joel opens his mouth to answer but Tommy beats him to it, “You got it, sweetheart. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to knock on our door,”

“My door,” Joel grumbles, his eyes digging holes into Tommy’s skull.

Luckily his new neighbor doesn’t hear him. The only evidence that the words actually left his mouth is provided by the sharp elbow Tommy digs into his stomach.

Bastard.

He winces in pain, hand shooting to his stomach with a cough caught in his throat. Joel doesn’t know how to react when she reaches over and places a soft hand on his shoulder, his pulse skyrockets, crimson red peppering all over his skin.

“Are you alright?” she asks. “Do you need me to get you a glass of water?”

“Oh, don’t worry about him,” Tommy says. “He’ll be fine.”

When Joel manages to catch his breath, her hand is still on his shoulder. His body reacts impulsively, taking her hand and holding it between his fingers. Blood tingles under his fingernails. He doesn’t know why, but in that moment she reminds him of stained glass; beautiful, mesmerizing, delicate.

What the hell is going on with him?

“I’m fine, don't worry,” he croaks, letting go of her hand. She seems just as flabbergasted as him. “Well then, we’ll be off.”

Tommy chirps next to him, his voice like nails on a chalkboard, “Are you sure you don’t want that water, Joel?”

“I’m sure,” he answers, his brows furrowing. “Let’s not trouble our new neighbor any longer,”

If Tommy wants to object, he doesn’t. Just as they’re about to leave, her voice calls out to him. He turns, and the world around him shifts into slow motion. Your eyes are glossed over, not looking at him but down to the pavement underneath. He cocks an eyebrow.

“Did you know my grandfather?” she asks, stunning him further. Joel finds the strength to nod but his mouth is drained of all moisture. “If—If you don’t mind, could you tell me about him sometime? What his life was like living here. I…I hadn’t spoken to him for a while. I didn’t even notice a month had passed since…”

Her voice breaks and trails off. Joel’s heart beats slow and steady. He looks at her with a sympathetic smile and when he turns to Tommy he sees that his brother is looking at her the same way. Grief is a cruel teacher, they both know.

“Of course,” Joel replies and your face lights up.

With that the brothers walk away from the house. The brief exchange replays in Joel’s mind in a constant loop, lingering on the memory of her smile and the tears that threatened to fall.

“She’s quite somethin’ isn’t she?”

“Huh?”

Wide-eyed, Joel turns to Tommy. His stomach drops when he sees that same love-struck expression he’s seen his baby brother make since they were youngins. He sharply sucks his bottom lip through his teeth and bites it, he’s feeling anxious all of a sudden. The clear oxygen around him feels polluted, somehow.

“I said, she’s quite somethin’, isn’t she?” Tommy repeats, agitated. “You never listen to me do you? Anyway, you think she’d say yes if I asked her out?”

“I don’t see why not,” Joel answers with a forced shrug. “Y’re not a complete eyesore which is a plus,”

“Yeah?” Tommy grins, throwing his arm over Joel’s shoulder. “I think I will.”

Joel doesn’t have anything to say to that. He allows Tommy to drag him back to their home, the subject has already changed to something mundane.

But his mind is left at her porch. Wondering when their next conversation will be.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x ofc #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x y/n #tommy miller x you #tommy miller x reader #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #the last of us hbo #hbo the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #pedro pascal character #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #stay in bed

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thetriumphantpanda · 11 months

Note

Howdy Charlie 🤠 l have been enjoying these new fic releases from you. You’re amazing and I love reading your work at the end of the day to unwind.

I’m not in a hurry as I’ve read you’re taking a break but if you do get inspired to write again, can I please request

❛ you are losing my interest, and that’s very dangerous. ❜ & ❛ promise me you’ll still be here when i wake up. ❜

Pre-outbreak where reader does something that causes a huge fight with Joel and they ignore each other for days then reader thinks it’s the end of their relationship so she packs her bag to leave without a word but Joel comes home earlier than expected and stops her and they get into another fight before reconciling and he shows his sweeter side to make up to her . Can you make it EXTREMELY angsty and a lil fluffy in the end.

Thank you! 😘

Anon, when I say that I've had this fic sitting in my drafts FOR WEEKS I'm not even lying. I absolutely loved this prompt but idk I couldn't make it seem right... I've done my best, I really hope you enjoy it! I'm just on my Joel Miller bullshit atm, don't judge me.

Pairing | Pre-Outbreak Joel Miller x Female Reader

Word Count | 3k

Warnings | Some angst, some fluff, mentions of alcohol, mean!Joel at one point, SMUT - oral (f receiving) no use of y/n and I think that's it.

Main Masterlist

There was something about Joel Miller that had you smitten from the start. Maybe it was the fact that he was so different to the stupid college boys you’d been wasting your time with, or maybe it was the fact that he was devastatingly handsome, or the fact that whenever you were together, he would make it his mission to make you come enough times that you forgot your name before he even thought about taking pleasure for himself. Whatever it was he was different, and you were pretty sure you loved him.

He'd barreled into your life headfirst a few months ago. Your car had given up the ghost on a small country road and you had no cell service to call a recovery. There had been a moment of dread when his truck had pulled up behind yours, this is how so many girls died in those documentaries you’d watched, but when he stepped out of his truck and that Southern drawl had hit your ears, you thought that even if he was going to murder you and leave you in a ditch, you wouldn’t mind all that much. Got you out of finishing your thesis if nothing else.

“You stranded, sugar?” He’d called out, keeping his distance enough to reassure you he wasn’t going to try anything stupid.

“Yeah,” You called back, “I have no idea what’s wrong with it and there’s no cell service.”

“You want me to take a look?”

“You a mechanic?” You ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Not exactly, but I’m good with my hands.”

The innuendo isn’t lost on either of you, you smirk but give him a signal to look at your car. He pops the hood and takes a few minutes to look around, “Was it steaming when you pulled over?” He asks.

“Yeah.” You admit.

“Looks like it’s just overheated, sugar,” He muses, “Not much to do but sit and wait for it to cool down a little,” You pull a face at the thought of having to sit in your car without the air con, “I don’t got anywhere to be so you can sit in my truck with me for a bit?” He offers, “The air-con is on.” He adds, sweetening the deal.

So you do. You sit with him for an hour, talking about your master’s programme and how stressed you are with your thesis. He talks about his work, bailing his brother out of jail for the second time that week and his daughter Sarah. When the sun starts to set, he jumps out of his truck to inspect your engine again, deeming it safe to drive.

“Well, thanks,” You say as you sit in the driver’s seat and start the engine up, “Literally don’t know what I’d have done if it weren’t for you.”

“You’d have let it sit, tried turning the key a little while later and been fine,” He chuckles, “But you’re welcome, it was nice meetin’ you.”

“Joel-” You call as he tries to walk away, “Can I maybe buy you a drink to say thank you?”

He turns around and smirks at you, “You askin’ me on a date?”

“Would you say yes if I was?” You arch an eyebrow at him.

“I’d be a fool not to, sugar.”

It’s cliché for you to say but the rest really was history. You’d bought him a drink to say thank you a few days later, he’d bought you more because he liked your company. You’d snuck him into your room a few hours after that, managing to dash past the kitchen where your housemates were having dinner, where he’d spent an hour knelt between your legs, lapping at your pussy and then fucked you better than anyone had ever done in your life.

It was summer break now. Sarah was away at camp for a few weeks, your thesis finally done and submitted. Joel had suggested that you stay with him, he’d mumbled something about it being nice not having to sneak around to see each other and you had to admit he was right. Waking up next to him with streams of sunlight illuminating his face, that was priceless. Making him breakfast before he went to work, domesticated but you loved it.

It had been two weeks of that, with another one still to come before Sarah came home and you had to go back to the small room in your shared apartment. One of your friends had invited you out on Saturday night – a way for you all to celebrate being done with studies. You’d planned to go back to Joel’s that night, he’d even given you money for the cab ride home – but one too many tequila shots and a dead cell phone later, you’d been led back to your apartment by your friends, plugged your phone in to charge and promptly fallen asleep.

When you’d woken up the next morning there was dread in your stomach, reading through the texts from Joel last night. Ten missed calls and texts that read where r u and please let me know ur safe.

You dressed as quickly as you could, grabbing your phone and keys before you called a cab to pick you up. You knew you’d fucked up. You wanted to call him, let him know you were okay, but this was something you’d have to do face to face. It took far longer to get to Joel’s, Sunday morning traffic proving a challenge as you left the city and headed for the suburbs. You took a deep breath as you fit his spare key into the door and opened it.

“Where the fucking hell have you been?” He asks when you shut the door and put your keys on the side table, “I’ve been worried sick about you all night.”

“I’m sorry Joel,” You mumble, you really were, “We got carried away and then my phone died, and my housemates just dragged me back to my apartment, I was just going to charge my phone a little and then come back here but I must have fallen asleep.”

“You didn’t think to use that landline’a yours?” He was sat on the couch, but he’d turned his body towards you in the doorway, he was pissed.

“I’m sorry Joel, okay, it was a stupid mistake, what more do you want me to say?”

“I gave you money to get home, told you to tell someone to remind you that’s where you were going, what were you thinking goin’ out and gettin’ so drunk you couldn’t remember where you were going home?!”

“Don’t you dare make this out like I was outta control!” You counter, “I was safe Joel, I was with my friends, I’m not fucking stupid.”

“Doesn’t seem that way to me.” He’s standing now, taking steps towards you.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Should’a fuckin’ known,” He says, mostly to himself, “Don’t think about anyone but yourself, silly little girl.”

His words cut through you like a knife. He’d never once made you feel like this. Despite the ten-year age gap you’d always seemed like his equal. Not now, now you felt small and insignificant.

“You are losing my interest and that’s very dangerous.” Is all he says next.

“Fuck you Joel Miller,” You spit at him, reaching for your keys, “You think you’re doing me a favour? Letting me stay in your nice big house playing families? All you wanted was a fucking maid the way you’ve been behaving.”

You’re out of the door, slamming it behind you and pulling your car out of his driveway in record time. You make it to the end of the round and a little way around the corner before you have to pull over and sob into your hands.

Four days. Four miserable fucking days and he hadn’t even bothered to text you. You’d moped around in your room for the first twenty-four hours. Then your housemate had practically forced herself in because she thought you’d died. You’d cried to her about how unfair it was, then she’d made you sit on the couch, drink too much wine and watch shitty reruns.

If it had been four days and he hadn't bothered to message, then it really must be over, right? You led in bed that morning running through all the things you’d left at his house that you really did need back. You still had the spare key, and you knew he’d be at work until later this evening, so you push yourself out of the tangle of sheets, get dressed and make the drive over.

Thankfully when you arrive his truck is nowhere to be seen. Definitely at work then. You open the front door, closing it behind you softly. You take a moment when you step in to remember all the times you’d been happy here. The time you’d helped him make Sarah’s birthday cake, or the time you’d snuggled up under the blanket together on the sofa and fallen asleep watching a movie. The time he’d hoisted you up onto the kitchen counter and eaten you out like it was his last meal. Or the time you’d not made it up the stairs and he’d fucked you from behind halfway up the steps. Tears pricked at your eyes. Foolish. Silly Little Girl, thinking he might be the one, just like he’d said.

You wiped angrily at your eyes and made your way up the stairs to his room, trying to block out the shiver down your spine as you thought of the long nights and lazy mornings you’d spent wrapped up in his bed. You find your duffle bag in the bottom of his wardrobe, you set it on the bed and start pulling clothes from his drawers, shoving them as quickly as you can into the bag.

You’re setting a bottle of perfume into it when you hear a key in the door. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Of all the days he could come home for lunch, it had to be this one.

“Sugar?” You hear him tentatively call from downstairs.

He won’t get the satisfaction, you think, you won't talk to him, just get your things and leave. You hurry to gather the last of your belongings, hoping you can just leave, when you hear his work boots on the stairs.

You’re fighting with the zip on the bag when the door creaks behind you, “Hey, I was calling you.”

“I heard.” You reply.

“What are you doing?” He asks.

You groan in frustration when the zip catches and refuses to move, “What does it look like, Joel?” You hiss, “I’m packing my stuff so I can be outta your hair like you want.”

“I don’t want that.” Is all he says.

“Well you’re doing a fucking good impression of it,” You turn to him, “You don’t call me, you don’t message me, you call me a silly little girl, but you want to keep me around?!”

“Sugar, listen to me,” He’s walking forward, gripping your arms in his hands, “I was angry, and I handled it badly, I’m just-” He falters, “I’m not used to any of this, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, I didn’t mean what I said.”

You look at him and you don’t think you’ve ever seen his eyes plead with you like they are now. It breaks your heart a little.

“But you called me a silly little girl Joel,” You whimper, trying hard not to cry, “Everything you said to me hurt.”

“I know sugar, I know.” He breaths, pulling you into his chest, “I thought if I gave you some time, we’d be able to talk, but I don’t want you to leave,” His lips brush the top of your head in a kiss, “Never want you to leave.”

You tilt your head and press a kiss to his jawline; it had always felt like home when you were wrapped in his arms.

“Let me make it up t’ya, sugar.” His hands are roaming down your spine and you can’t resist him anymore.

You soften into his body, and he takes it as a yes, he tilts your chin up with one of his hands and presses a kiss to your lips. It’s soft and you let out a sigh as you wrap your arms around his neck to mold yourself closer to him. His hands are gripping at the meat of your ass as he’s walking you back towards the bed. Before he lets you fall, he grabs the forgotten bag of your belongings and tosses it to the floor, settling you to sit on the edge of the bed whilst he drops to his knees.

His hands are pushing the skirt of your dress up to gather at your hips, his mouth leaving trails of hot kisses up one thigh and down the other. Your head drops back, and you let out a sigh when his big hands come to rest on your hips, “Can I take them off, sugar?” He asks, fingers hooking into the waistband of your panties.

You look down at him and smirk, “If you want to make it up to me, I’d say it’s pretty essential.”

He copies your smirk, “Lift up then.”

You push down on your hands to lift your ass off the bed just enough for him to pull the lace off your skin and down your legs. You set yourself back down on the sheets but opt to stay in your sitting position, shifting your backside as close to the edge as you can without risking falling off, widening your open legs for Joel to see you.

“God, you have the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen, sugar.” He groans, leaning down to press kisses over your mound, but never once dipping low enough to give you relief.

He knows what you want, your hips are chasing his mouth as they move around to press kisses to everywhere but your pussy. You grumble in frustration when he moves away from you, “You want my mouth on your pussy, sugar?” He asked, looking up at you like the cat that got the cream.

“I’d have thought that was pretty obvious by now.”

“I gotta hear you say it, sugar.”

“Joel-” You moan, reaching out to grab a fistful of his hair, “Please put your mouth on me.”

He responds with a grin from between your legs before he licks one long stripe up the seam of your pussy, tongue dipping ever so slightly through your folds to tease your clit before he’s pulling away, “See what happens when you ask nicely?”

You’re about to respond with something smart when he uses his fingers to spread your lips to reveal your clit, and then he’s running soft circles on it with the tip of his tongue. A guttural moan drops from your lips and your hips are bucking into his face as he continues his teasing touches with his tongue. His hands are gripping the meat of your thighs and God you want more.

“Joel-” You moan, gripping his hair again, “Fuck, God alive I need more.”

He pulls away from your pussy just enough to say, “What do you need, sugar?” Before he’s back to work.

“Fu-fuck, Joel,” You’re grinding your hips into his mouth, “Fingers, please, I need your fingers.”

You swear you can feel him smile against you, but one of his hands moves from your thighs and you feel him slip one inside of you. You’re so wet that it’s easy for him, he pulls out and when he’s pushing his fingers back into you, there’s a second, “Oh my god yes just like that.” Is all you can managed to get out.

He’s being more forceful with his tongue now, switching between the soft teases from the tip of his tongue to full licks with the flat of it and it’s got you on the edge already. When you look down at him it’s like heaven. You can see his tongue teasing your clit and the movement of his shoulder as he pumps his fingers into you. It’s a depraved sight but one that you never want to forget.

“Can feel you gettin’ tight around my fingers sugar,” He mumbles into your pussy, “You gonna come for me like a good girl?”

“Yes!” You’re crying out as his fingers curl inside you into just the right spot to have spots clouding your vision, “ohmygod Joel, I’m so fucking close.”

He knows exactly what to do from here. He’s learnt how to play your body like a fucking fiddle, and he knows it. He’s pressing his fingers so deep into your pussy, curling them to hit that sweet spot inside of you. Then he wraps his lips over your clit and sucks whilst his tongue is still flicking tight little circles over you, and you’re gone.

Your head is thrown back and you’re screaming his name. Your pussy is clenching around his fingers and your whole body is convulsing as it washes over you. Joel pulls his fingers from you, and you look down to watch him lick your slick off them before he’s dipping his tongue lower and literally drinking from you. Wide stripes from his tongue from your aching entrance as he cleans up what you’ve given him.

He pressed kisses to the inside of your thigh, and you can feel your slick on the scratch of his beard, “I really am sorry, sugar.” He says and you laugh.

“Get up here.” You say, pulling at the neck of his t-shirt.

He obliges, standing up briefly to kick off his work boots, before he’s gathering you up and placing your head against the pillows. He’s kissing you; you can taste yourself on his tongue as it molds into your own.

He flops down on the bed next to you and you curl into his side, running your hands down his chest to rest on the bulge of his jeans before a yawn falls from your mouth, “Tired, sugar?”

You nod, burying your face into his chest, “Not been sleeping.” Is all you offer in explanation.

He presses a kiss to your temple, “Take a nap.” Is what he says, taking hold of your hand on his groin, wrapping your fingers together to rest on his stomach, “I can wait.”

“Promise me you’ll still be here when I wake up?” You ask, looking up to meet his eyes.

“I got nowhere else on earth I’d rather be, sugar.”

#Joel Miller #Pedro Pascal #Joel Miller smut #Joel Miller fic #joel miller angst #Joel Miller fanfic #Joel Miller fan fiction #Joel Miller one shot #The last Of Us #The last of us hbo #TLOU #tlou smut #tlou fic #joel the last of us #joel miller x reader #Joel Miller x you #Joel Miller x female reader #Joel Miller x f!reader #Joel Miller Pedro pascal

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bisexualiteaa · 22 days

Note

Hi honey, I just discovered your Cooper fics today and oh my gods. They're incredible, I love the way you write him ❤️. I was wondering, if you're still taking requests that is (no pressure like), if you could do a sub! Cooper x reader? Preferably male!reader or with male genitalia, but fem is totally okay if you're not comfortable with that 😁. I just think Coop with a taller, more muscular partner is neat.

I'm thinking the reader was secretly married to Coop and Barb beforehand, but lost part of their memories after they became a ghoul and one of the best bounty hunters around, wearing a mask. And all they remember about Coop is how beautiful his eyes were (Walton Goggins has the most gorgeous eyes ever, I swear 😫) So the reader wants the head too and tags along with the gang, eventually getting closer to Cooper. During a fight, reader gets hurt and Coop comes over to help them, but reader is finally close enough to properly see his eyes and realises it's him. Coop takes off the mask, reader remembers, there's tears, kisses, and eventually super soft, subby sex.

So, really just really angsty, then fluffy when they find each other after 200 years. Reader taking care of our baby girl Coop, and him just accepting the love and being a pillow princess. Maybe a little overstim and edging if we're feeling spicy 😉.

I'm so sick for this man, it's unhealthy. Thanks again for your amazing work, love. I absolutely made my day better! (Sorry for how long this ask is 🙃).

It’s Been a Long, Long Time

Cooper Howard x Ghoul Fem Reader (angst-fluff!)

CW: pre-ghoul Cooper, established relationship, reader and Cooper were married and had a child together, character death, cursing, angst!! But don’t worry, it’s a happy ending, slight OOC Cooper, slight deviation from the TV series

AN: not me posting this at 3am before I leave for a trip for the weekend, I feel like I’ve depraved y’all! 😂 I wanted to post this to give y’all some good Cooper Content ™️ before I go on a three day hiatus for vacation! 🥺 Thank you all to the people who have submitted asks, I promise I am still working on them/towards getting to them! ❤️ In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy this one! @kinatanhi I hope I did your request justice! I know it’s a little tweaked from what you sent in and forgive me, I wrote this literally an hour ago at 2am because it finally came to me what I wanted to write, but seeing as it was written at 2am, y’all please forgive me if it isn’t my best work, I tried my best lol. 😭❤️

You smiled happily as you danced with your husband in your shared, quaint little kitchen, his hands coming to rest at your waist as they always did, and your arms looped around his neck. You were thankful that the producers on set of his movie, as well as his agent, allowed him to come home early in order to celebrate your birthday with you. You stood smiling up at him as you two danced- well, more like swayed, to the slow music playing from the radio. You lay your head against his chest, smiling as your eyes set on the gorgeous flowers that were lying on the kitchen counter that he brought home just for you. You smiled up at him when you caught him staring down at you with nothing but love and adoration in his gaze. “What’s that look for, hmm?” You asked with a playful smile, making him chuckle and flash that gorgeous smile of his that you loved so much, almost as much as his eyes that you swore you could be lost in forever. “Nothin’, just that I’m lucky enough to have married the most beautiful woman on this earth” he said, making you hum appreciatively at his cute answer. “Oh stop it, you charmer you” you replied, making him scoff in fake offense, making you giggle at his dramatics. “I’ll have you know I don’t go throwin’ that ‘round willy-nilly, little lady” he assured, making you smile wider at him as you laughed. “I know, I’m a lucky woman to call you my husband” you replied sweetly, getting up on your tip toes to kiss him as you looped your arms around his neck once more.

Those were better days, days when things were so simple, times where all you had to worry about was nothing more than how long the pie was in the oven, or how your baby was doing. It was a pleasant memory, one you’d never forget as the last time you’d seen your husband since the war. That night flooded your memories each time you’d lay down to close your sunken in eyes, they were the only thing about you now that remained as human as they were back before you became a ghoul. You swore to yourself that you’d find him one day, swore that you would kill the bastards that started all this, that took your baby girl away from you before she had a chance at a good life and separated you from your husband. You prayed each and every night that he was still out there, still alive somewhere, roaming the wastelands like you were. You knew it was doubtful at best, maybe it was better if he wasn’t alive to live through the shit you have, to see the way you look, but one could only hope for the better things. You no longer looked the same way you used to back then. Your soft, nearly perfect skin was now marred and leathery, your teeth yellowed from radiation exposure, poor diet and lack of ability to actually care for them, and your nose was now missing completely from your face, a deep hole sitting where the cartilaginous appendage once did. You wondered if he would even love you still in this state, if he’d even recognize you. You couldn’t blame him if he didn’t, you weren’t that same woman anymore physically or emotionally. Anger and vengeance had a hold on your heart like a vice death grip, you were kind to those who deserved it sure, but to those who crossed you? Those who hurt you? Let’s just say there’s a reason you’re a feared bounty hunter out here in the wastelands and not in a vault somewhere.

You were walking into Filly one late morning, coming to pay a visit with Ma June to see if there was anything she needed, any bounty she may have had for you for some extra caps. Your supply of chems to keep you from going feral was running low, you were down to your last bottle in your inhaler, and in desperate need of more. As you strode into town, you pulled your bandana up over your nose, effectively covering your face below your eyes, your large hat casting a shadow on the rest. You weaved your way through the vendors as they were trying to shove goods at you and anyone who was behind or around you. As you waded though, your ears caught the sound of a deep, southern accent that sounded awfully familiar to you. “I ain’t interested unless you got RadAway” he spoke harshly to the vendor haggling him, and you had to do a double take. He sounded just like your husband. You turned in the hopes to place a body to the voice but by the time you could, he was already lost into the crowd, impossible to find amongst the sea of people now that he wasn’t speaking to anyone anymore.

You huffed to yourself, wondering if maybe you were just hearing things, or maybe you were just plain out delusional at this rate. It wouldn’t shock you, between the years of radiation exposure, radiation sickness, and everything in between, you wouldn’t be shocked to find out you’d gone mad. However you wanted ever so badly for it to have been him that was speaking. To run up to him, arms outstretched, tears down your face but a happy smile as you called his name. But you couldn’t, you couldn’t even find the man attached to the voice anymore so why make a fool and draw attention to yourself. No one took kindly to ghouls. So with a heavy heart, you pushed on, making it to the doorstep of Ma June’s shop when you heard him again. “50 caps? That’s just plain ridiculous. 30, take it or leave it” he bartered, making you turn around again, only this time you caught him. You spotted a man that was tall, around the same height as your husband, clad in a wild western style cowboy outfit. You thought it was familiar, from the hat all the way down to the boots, it reminded you of him but a lot of people out here in the wastes wore Wild West themed clothes, deeming themselves cowboys and cowgirls of the wild wastelands. You wished he would turn around, you needed to see his face, hell just his eyes would be enough to sate the curiosity that was eating away at you. You’d forever recognize those eyes, they were so unique, so him. So beneath the shade you stood, observing him from a distance to be safe. That was until Ma June saw you standing there through the window of her shop, and she had a job for you that was important so she couldn’t wait for you to be done with whatever it was your were doing before she drug you inside. “What are you standin’ around out here for? I got a job for you!” She exclaimed, grabbing you and pulling you inside right as the man turned to walk away. You groaned in frustration as your only chance at an answer was stolen from you, but little did you know that your commotion made him stop to watch curiously as you went inside. Something about that dress you were wearing looked awful familiar to him but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it, so he just kept walking.

As the next couple of days passed by, the curiosity was absolutely eating away at your mind. You wondered if you were on the brink of going feral with how your thoughts were screaming that it could have been him. You wished she would have waited until you could have gotten a better look at him than just his back and his clothes, though they felt familiar, akin to something he would have worn on the set to his movies, you just couldn’t be sure. So you continued on, traveling with a random person’s head in your bag, wrapped up in an old T-shirt that was soaked through with blood now as you were on your way back from your bounty for Ma June. It was a particularly hot day outside, one of those days where no matter how much water drank, you just couldn’t keep the heat away or the dehydration at bay. So as you sucked down the last of your water in your canteen, you did your best to stave off the coughing fit that was bubbling in the back of your throat like a horrible itch you just could never scratch. Unfortunately for you, it wasn’t enough, and seeing as you hit your inhaler for the last of your supply yesterday, you were shit out of luck. Damn it, you were so close too, you felt it. You couldn’t go like this, not without finding him, not without avenging your child and going after those Vault-Tec bastards that stole her and your husband from you. “Damn it!” You choked out as you clutched your chest, your coughing fit sending you to your knees in the sand where you laid in the hopes that it would let up sometime soon and you could continue moving. This couldn’t be the end for you, it just couldn’t be. You wouldn’t let it.

As you laid there, throat burning as you were hacking up your lungs, you saw a figure walking along the horizon in the distance. You wondered if maybe this was what they spoke of when people said their loved ones come and take them away right before they pass, or maybe it was just another hallucination, all you knew is that they were coming closer and closer to you. You reached for your gun with all the strength you could offer through your coughing fit and weakened state, unsure of whether they were a raider or someone with just plain ill intention. As they drew closer, you looked up to see another ghoul stabbing before you, his cowboy hat casting a slight shade over his face but even through the tears in your vision you could see his eyes. They were gorgeous, they looked just like how you remember your husband’s looked the last time you had a chance to look into them, making you look him over but it was so hard to tell. He was a man who had succumbed to the same fate you did, leathery skin, no nose, ruined ears, but his eyes…god they were so familiar. You saw him cock his head while looking at you, investigating your features, you could tell there was something about you that he was intrigued with.

“I feel your pain there, sister” he said, that southern drawl coming out sounding just like him, and god how it made your heart ache. He bent down to see you better, taking a better look at you. “I’ll be damned if somethin’ ‘bout you ain’t familiar though” he said, making you look up at him, and in that moment as he looked into your eyes, he could have sworn it was you, his long lost wife. He held hope it his heart, but it was a cruel world out here, he couldn’t be sure. “Your eyes, they look a lot like my wife’s did” he said, and you took that as your chance to see if it was really him. “C-Coo…per…?” You rasped out the best you could, needing to know if it was really him, needing to know if he was alive or if you were just going crazy. His eyes went wide for a moment before reaching for his gun, making your heart jump in your chest with anxiety. “How do you know my name?” He asked coldly, his eyes looking angrily upon you and it made your heart wrench in your chest but beat fast all the same to know it was him. “Tell me! How do you know my name?” He said angrily, making you raise your hands up to show you weren’t dangerous, you cursed your inability to speak properly or else you’d have answered his question already. “Be..cause…we were…Mar…ried” you rasped out once more, showing him your wedding ring that he bought you that rested on your ring finger, making him soften up for just a moment. “After two hundred years… could it really be?” he asked softly to himself in disbelief, but once again, he reminded himself that this world was a cruel place where people stoop to things lower than they ever did before. To him, you could have been anyone, maybe no more than a random stranger who pick pocketed that precious ring off of his wife, a total stranger playing as his beloved to get to his weakness. He pointed his gun at you once more, making tears come to your eyes even more now, had you said something wrong? Why was he mad at you? You hadn’t left on bad terms last you remember, but then again it’s hard to remember as far back as two centuries. “How do I know, huh?” He asked aggressively, and you figured it was a valid worry, you knew how awful this world was now, you couldn’t blame him for needing the reassurance. He needed to be sure it was truly you. “How do I know it’s really you?” He asked, waiting for you to stop coughing long enough to give him an answer. “What’s…that look…for?” You asked, something you always asked him when he stared at you in awe, or when he looked at you right before you two went to bed, it was like your signature phrase. You weakly removed the bandana covering your face, trying your best to show him any bit of your features left that you could use to show him it was really you. “It’s me…Coop. Y/N…” you rasped as saliva began to well in your mouth at the sight of him, slowly losing control over yourself as time passed. He’d never dropped his gun so fast, or fell to his knees so quick in his entire life than in that moment, the only other time was the moment he found out you were pregnant with his child, dropping to his knees to kiss your belly and place his hands on it excitedly. “Oh my god…Y/N” he said in utter shock and disbelief that you were here, you were alive. You were a ghoul now which hurt him to know you suffered the same pain as him, but you were alive and that’s what mattered most to him, finally having found you after all the years spent hoping you were still alive out here.

“Here baby, here, hold on. I gotchya” he said, quickly grabbing his inhaler with a vial of the chems you’d run out of last night, never needing it more than in this moment to keep you from turning feral on him. He pressed it to your lips, pushing the plunger on it to get the chems in your system. You inhaled it like a breath of fresh cool air, sending you coughing once more but that itch was slowly fading away, you could breathe again. You looked up at him as you laid there weakly, your head in his lap. “My hero” you said weakly, trying to be funny but he was too caught up in looking into your eyes, getting himself to believe what was right in front of him. “Two centuries I’ve spent looking for you…” you said, your eyes scanning him and his features to assure yourself too that this was real, that he really was sitting here before you, alive and well. Or as well as one could be as a ghoul in the wastelands. You smiled as you teared up, seeing the tears in his eyes as he looked down at you, pulling you up and into a hug. “Oh god…I can’t believe you’re alive” he said, hugging you tight and you did the same, burying your face into his shoulder. “I could say the same to you. I always knew you were stubborn, too stubborn to go out the way the rest of the world did” you said, making him chuckle as stray tears ran down your marred cheeks. “I’ve been dreaming of this day…dreaming of the day I’d get to see you and B/N again…” he said, making you grip his duster as the tears flooded down your face even more when he said your baby girl’s name. “Cooper…” you said, making him pull away from you but you weren’t far, he made sure of it. “She…she didn’t make it, honey…I’m so sorry. I tried everything, believe me I did, but it was too late…” you said, making his heart absolutely break in his chest knowing his baby was gone and that he would never have the chance to see her again.

“What was she like? She was so young when it all happened” He asked, holding your hands in his as you two shared in this moment together. You smiled as your hand cupped his cheek softly, your thumb rubbing along his skin that shared the same texture as your own. “Just like her daddy. She had your gorgeous eyes, your beautiful smile and that same stubborn attitude” you said through a laugh, making him chuckle with you as his hand came to hold the back of yours as it touched him. He missed your loving touch, and that beautiful smile that he swore could light up even the darkest rooms. He could hardly believe that you’d still even touch or speak to him now, with the way he looked. He knew you likely held a sympathy for it, knowing all too well yourself what it was like but the fact that you weren’t scared or hateful like others were towards him for it. “She was smart, funny, kind…she was daddy’s baby girl. You’d have loved that about her. It was like a little slice of you was there in her, keeping me going. She gave me hope when it felt like there wasn’t any left in this world to hold onto” you said, seeing a few stray tears stream down his cheeks as you spoke of her. His stomach was in knots, his heart filled with anger and pain to know the wastelands claimed one of his own. “I wish I coulda been there, for both of you. Maybe she’d be here if I was” he said somberly, guilt lacing his tone as he leaned his forehead against yours, not caring if your hats would come off. He needed this, he needed you. “Hey, don’t blame yourself for what happened, you had nothing to do with it. It’s those vile people at Vault-Tec who did this. They took our baby, not you. Don’t you ever think this is your fault” you assured him, holding him close to you as he expressed the most emotion he’s felt in nigh on two centuries.

“We made it pretty good all things considered, held our own well for ten years. I taught her how to use a gun when she turned eight to keep her safe should anything happen to me, did everything in my power to keep her safe, fed and hydrated even on the hard days where supplies were sparse” you explained. “The radiation just became too much for her little body to handle. She was ten years old, I could hardly believe it. It was like I woke up one day and she wasn’t a baby anymore, our little girl had just grown up so fast” you said, remembering those days as tears clouded your vision, streaming down your cheeks like small rivers, watching the droplets fall into the sand beneath you. “I’m sorry Cooper, I’m so sorry…” you apologized, making him hold you tight and hush you as you did. “I shoulda been better…if I was better maybe she’d still be here now” you said, taking the blame for something you knew you had no control over, but it left you guilty all the same. “Shh, don’t go thinkin’ like that. I’d say from the sounds of it, ya did a damn fine job managin’ that long out in this shit hole just the two of you. You always were a great mom, and an equally great wife” he said, making you sniffle as you smiled at him at that reassurance. “I did all I could, there was hell to pay for anyone who stood in my way, that’s for sure” you said, making him chuckle because that was exactly how you were before the war too. You always wanted what was best for your family, and you were willing to go great lengths to keep your husband and child happy. “I know you said you been lookin’ for me for a long time…but I ain’t the same man I was back then” he started. “But I got a feelin’ you ain’t exactly the same woman anymore either, so maybe we can still work this out, you and me” he said, making you chuckle. “No, I’m not. And if that means you don’t love me anymore I-“ you spoke but you were cut off by the feel of his lips against your own. They were thinner now, dry and marred by radiation just like yours were, but you could still feel the passion behind it, the love in it. No amount of radiation could ever take that away. “You lettin’ all the radiation get to that brain of yours? Of course I still love you. I lost ya once, I ain’t losin’ you again, that’s for damn sure” he said, making you laugh as more tears fell, only these ones were happier ones now. You squeezed his hand that was in your own as your heart raced in your chest. “You have no idea how happy that makes me to hear, Coop” you replied, kissing him once more with all the passion two hundred years of separation could hold behind it. “I love you, and I’ve missed you so damn much” you said, pressing your foreheads together once more as you fought the tears that began to turn into a sob. “I love you too darlin’, missed you like crazy. The world ain’t been the same without you” he said, making you sniffle as you felt the same way. “And if you’ll still have me, I’d like to make that a world of the past” he added, making you chuckle tearfully. “Of course I will” you said, allowing his heart to rest assured that you were still his girl, making him smile as he looked down at you, his thumb rubbing along your cheek to wipe away your tears.

You smiled back up at him, your hand coming to the back of his as you remembered the moment from your birthday again all those years ago, slow dancing in the kitchen with him. “What’s that look for, hmm?”You asked, just like you did that day, making him grin as he thought of the right words to say. “Nothin’ just that I’m lucky enough to have married the most beautiful person on this earth” he replied, making you chuckle. It was just what you’d been needing to hear all this time. “And how lucky I am to have her back in my arms where she belongs” he added, making you giggle before kissing you once more. Desert be damned, Cooper had his wife back after so long spent searching for her, and he was going to make damn sure she knew how much he missed her all these years.

#cooper howard #cooper howard x reader #fallout #fallout x reader #the ghoul #the ghoul x reader #asks #request

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povlvr · 2 years

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OPERATION: FAKING IT ... ?

Description: Surely faking a relationship to improve the public opinion of one beefy super solider known as Bucky Barnes would be the easiest of mission for two well seasoned Avengers? Tony Stark seems to think so & decides to task you with 'Operation: Faking it', but what happens when you realise there might be less faking needed than originally planned?

Pairing: Beefy Bucky Barnes x Female Avenger Reader

Status: Complete

Word Count: 43.5k

Warnings: Fluff, Soft Bucky, Swearing, Angst, 18+, Smut (individual warnings on each chapter), friends to lovers, big adorable man with small puppy.

A/N: Another mini-series for you, I’ve pre-written it all so there will be regular updates, chapters below (anything with the strikeout are not part of the PR Plan, ie these two babies can't stay away from each other) Get ready for cute, fluffy Beefy Bucky, no Alpine BUT there is a puppy.

TAG List: I never know if people want carrying over on my tag lists for new stories so if you want to be tagged please let me know

@enchantedbarnes @anonymously-ominous @criticaltrinket @enlyume @getofffmydick @sebsgirl71479 @nash-dara @tanyaspartak @blithecapricorn @cjand10 @spicoli-waves @happytimeunicorns @ifilwtmfc @sarapolare @buggy14 @ka-x-in @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @justab-eautifulmess @openup-yourmind @namelessav @queen-mal @teambarnes72 @nikkig496-blog @mooievis @julesclues @giftedyoungster3000 @beware-my-thorns @redbarn1995 @povlvr @intense-sneezing @l3itchy-but-cute @capswife @littlelizardlizzie @readerofwords616 @morganmofresh @buckyslucky @mochie85

If there's a strike through your name i couldn't tag you

Chapters:

A New Kind of Mission

Operation: Coffee ... Snack Mountain & Emergency Ice Cream

Operation: Dinner ... Puppies & A Food Festival

Operation: The Party ... The After Party & Late Night Strolls

Operation: Charity Gala ... A Rescue Mission & Performance Review

Operation: No More Operations.

#bucky barnes x reader #james barnes #bucky x you #sebastian stan #marvel #james buchanan barnes #marvel fanfic series #bucky barns fanfiction #bucky imagine #avengers #bucky barnes smut #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #pam and tommy #winter solider smut #the winter soldier #the winter solider smut

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kookslastbutton · 9 months

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Too Late to Dream ༓ jjk (m) I ch. VII

✑ Summary: You did it. You married your college professor. You even bought a house together. Against all odds, everything had fallen into place. But after two years of marriage, you begin feeling something was missing. You want a baby but your husband can’t say the same.

Pairing: economics professor!jungkook x fem!artist!reader

AU/Genre: angst, smut, fluff, marriage au, age gap, series

Rating: M, 18+

Word Count: 6,656

Warnings: 8-year age gap, mentions of professor-student relationship (oc was a Masters student), cute date on the back of jk's car trunk, jk nervous, jk gives lots of gifts & flowers to oc, oc is obsessed with clearance chocolate, auntie oc and uncle kook take care of yoongi's twins, jk & oc become guinea pigs for yoongi's kids lmao, mention of dentist!yoongi, jk's mommy issues get mentioned, jk has personal daddy issues but he working through them, jk being good hubby to oc, just a rollercoaster of emotions ngl

Now Playing: Make It Right, Tryna Be, Infinity, It Will Rain, Heaven+

A/N: Hello! thanks for being patient with me guys!! Important: the flashback for this chapter follows events of chapter V and will refer to it. And yes it's thier first date! Kind of 👀👀 that will be for you to decide. Then we have present day jk and oc being guinea pigs for Yoongi's crazy twins hehehe. Ok pls, enjoy 💞

<< ch. VI ༓ ch. VIII >> ┃series masterlist

You know how some couples have multiple weddings that lead to disagreements over their real anniversary date? Or maybe it’ll be when the relationship was made official or what the first sign of attraction was? Yeah, that’s you and Jungkook when it comes to pinpointing exactly when your first date was.

If you ask your husband, he’ll tell you it was weeks after you were discharged from the hospital during your postgrad studies. But in your opinion, it was far before his timeframe.

You see due to a group of overly eager college freshmen, you had sprained your ankle and cracked a rib. Jungkook stayed with you the entire first two weeks of the recovery period. He'd bring study notes to you, your favorite food, hell even art supplies he bummed off Taehyung to help break up your mundane days in the hospital.

When the time finally came that you were well enough to finish the healing process at home, he suggested a dinner out would be an excellent way to celebrate.

"...do you wanna go out to dinner?" Jungkook pops the question more causal than expected.

"Are you asking me on a date…?"

His reply is barely audible but you hear it and for the first time, your professor sounds truly timid. "Uh, well…let's go with hang out like friends do."

You’re convinced that this was the first time he asked you out, thus leading to your first date. Your husband, however, thinks it was too vague to tell. He prefers to see it as more a pre-date instead.

So, was it a date?

Was it an unspoken pre-date?

The jury’s still out about this one.

4 years ago

It’s a gorgeous day with the way the sun beams on the hood of his car. A few scattered clouds, fluffy and white, float across the sky as well, offering shelter from the heat. You were discharged from the hospital only yesterday and Jungkook was already insistent on going out today, saying that a little fresh air and a change of scenery would be good for you.

“Where are we going?” You turn your head from the passenger window to look at the man inquisitively. It’s a simple question but the tension of the unknown nibbles at you from inside.

“One of my favorite spots,” Jungkook replies with his eyes set on the road. “Hope you don’t mind the drive. It’ll be another fifteen minutes.”

“It's fine. Why can’t I know where we’re going though?”

He hesitates to answer. “Do you not like surprises?”

You shrug. “Sure I do, as long as I know about them ahead of time.”

A hearty laugh follows your words and it sends one of the warmest feelings through your whole body. You didn't think you were being funny, but after being stuck in the hospital for two weeks, it's nice to feel something other than dismal. Jungkook is good at lifting your spirits at the most unexpected of times, you hum to yourself.

He looks handsome today too.

You can’t stop yourself from thinking about it as you watch a few strands of his dark hair blow over. He has his window cracked to let in a gentle breeze and though it causes him trouble here and there, he remains mostly unbothered.

The oversized white T-shirt he chose to wear is something you're still taking time to adjust to. Much more casual compared to what he wears during his lectures. But you like it with the loose-fitting pants he's paired it with.

"If it's necessary for you to know where we're going then I guess I have no choice." Jungkook looks in your direction but your gaze lingers down his torso. "__."

"Yes?" You immediately blink up at him, hoping you don’t look too flushed. Once he directs his attention back to the road you'll make sure to check yourself in the side-view mirror. Using your phone camera might look a little too obvious.

"I was saying if you need to know where we're going I'll tell you," he repeats. "But if it's possible I'd really like for it to be a secret until we get there."

"Alright," you concede. "I guess I could stand the wait this one time. This is your only freebie though. No more surprises after this."

"No more checking me out," he mutters.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Can I open my eyes yet?"

"No." Jungkook opens his door and hops out of the car. "I'll be right back."

"Wait where are you going?" You know he wants whatever this is to be a surprise but you've been told to keep your eyes shut for the last five minutes. You're a little nervous to say the least, especially if he's about to disappear somewhere. "Jungkook?"

No response.

"Hello? Jungkook?" You're tempted to open your eyes when you hear the trunk of his car suddenly pop open. Several rustling noises follow as he digs around. "What are you doing back there?"

"You'll see soon. I'm almost done so just sit tight for a moment." He unzips a bag and then pushes said bag around the floorboard. The sound of something crashing on the ground perks up your ears in the moments following, earning a tiny 'shit' from Jungkook.

"Everything alright?" You're seriously getting antsy now.

When Jungkook swings your door open, a cool breeze hits your legs. "All good __. But now, I'm going to need you to trust me because I'm going to help you out of the car."

What?

"Um, I do have crutches I can use you know. You don't have to carry me anywhere like before. Dr. Kim said I should–"

"You won't need them this time. We're not going far okay?" He ducks his head inside and guides your arms around his neck. "Can you scoot forward a little?"

You do as he says until he tells you to stop. And with one arm supporting your lower back and the other firm under your legs, you're lifted out of your seat.

"Okay." The ground underneath his feet crunches as he straightens himself back up and out of the vehicle. "Now you can open your eyes."

As soon as you do your jaw drops.

"Surprise!"

Jungkook watches your stunned face as you take in all of Seoul from your perched position.

"I hope you don't mind that I didn't take us to a traditional restaurant. This is an overlook I happened to stumble on years ago when I first moved here. Not many people know about it because it's kind of off the beaten track but I get a bit adventurous sometimes."

He carries you around to the back of the car.

"Since you're still recovering I won't make us sit on the ground but I brought food that we can eat in the back of my trunk. There's a pillow there you can lean against too. And I made sure to park at an angle so we can watch the sunset."

"Wow...Jungkook I don't know what to say."

"It's cheesy isn't it?" His previously eager tone drops and you can't help but feel a pulling at your heartstrings. "I'm sorry if this isn't your thing. I probably should have asked."

"I love cheesy." You crack a small smile and Jungkook breaks out into a grin again, causing both of you have butterflies in your stomachs. "You're very thoughtful for doing this. I'm sorry about my initial reaction. I'm just shocked."

"Well, we're friends now, aren't we? You should get used to this kind of stuff from now on." He walks up to the trunk and carefully sets you down. "Here, lean back." He fluffs the pillow and then gestures for you to lay back.

Once you're comfortable, he hops in next to you and grabs the baby blue gift bag from the corner of the trunk. You don't know how you missed it before given its size and very decorative packaging.

"Before I give you this to you please know that I don't expect anything back okay?" His hands are shaky as he holds the bag on his lap. "This is just something I wanted to give you after your injury and having to be in the hospital for so long."

You nod your head in understanding but are not fully convinced. "And you're giving this to me as a friend, yes?" You take the bag from him and slowly open it.

"Mhm."

You narrow your eyes at him before reaching into the bag. You take out a very large, sturdy box. "God, Jungkook. This is so heavy. What's in here?" You tear apart the wrapping paper and open the smooth lid. "Oh my god, you didn't?!"

They're chocolates from the dessert shop you told him about last Sunday night. You had mentioned it in passing because you were craving sweets but not in the slightest did you think he'd take it to heart. The shop was at least an hour's drive away.

"Don't worry." He sees the pressure creeping on your face. "I was going that direction anyway. But I saw it on my way back and was reminded that you were craving it the other night. Uhm, there's also a coupon in there too. They included that in the purchase."

"Jungkook....you really didn't need to do any of this for me." You grab the small card laying at the bottom of the bag that reads 20% off. "Thank you so much."

"Oh, I almost forgot!" You're taken aback when he jumps off the trunk to scurry to the backseat. He returns in mere seconds with a generous bouquet of pink and purple hydrangeas. "These are for you too."

You shriek and grab them out of his hand, feeling a little giddy. Hydrangeas are your absolute favorites. "Sorry, that was really rude of me. These are so beautiful, though. Thank you. I don't know what to say."

Jungkook sits back down and pulls forward a freezer bag. "Seeing you this excited is enough. I brought us a lot of food too so, we should probably eat it before it starts going bad. This bag can only do so much preserving." He digs out box after box of yummy food from fresh strawberries to sushi. There are drinks too; banana milk and soju.

Your stomach growls as you watch him set the food between you both.

"Well, don't be shy." He hands you a plate with chopsticks. "Dig in."

"You look very pretty in that blouse..." He stabs his straw into his milk and takes a large sip. "The color really suits you."

"Oh, thank you." You manage the words once you swallow the strawberry you're eating. "Yours too."

Jungkook combs through his hair with his fingers. "Thanks, this t-shirt really brings out my eyes don't you think?" You laugh and shove his shoulder lightly.

"Stop, I'm being serious. I don't see you in this type of style often. It looks good."

He gives a playful shake of his head. "Where did you get that shirt anyway?" He gestures at your top again.

"At a store," you reply dumbly. "It was on sale. Gotta love a good deal right?"

"Yeah, absolutely. Never pay full price."

"That's exactly what I try telling my roommate. She only buys the best of the best but I think she could get the same thing 50% off if she waited long enough."

"You know Taehyung's the same way. Nothing but luxury from head to toe. I'm surprised he paints in a basic t-shirt and jeans some days."

You chuckle, feeling the air light and fresh. "Painting gets messy so it's better you not wear your best and brightest clothes. Sometimes I'll just wear a giant t-shirt that already has paint stains and nothing el–"

Shit.

You cringe at how quickly you can run your mouth. Jungkook doesn't need to know your painting attire evident from his sudden frozen up form.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

"I'm embarrassed."

"Don't be. I've heard worse." Jungkook clears his throat and looks out to the view in front of you. "This really is a beautiful spot is it not?"

Thank you for the deflection, you silently say to him.

"Yes, it's the best view I've seen in my life. I can't believe you found this place. It's like seeing everything for the first time again."

"__."

"Hm?"

"Is it weird that I–" He stops mid-sentence, hands rubbing his thigh. "Is it weird that I brought you here?"

"Of c–"

"No wait, wait that's not what I wanted to ask." He runs his fingers through his hair again, doing his best to keep eye contact. "What would you say if someone were to ask you out?"

You relax into a tight-lipped smile and quirk your head to a slight angle. "I'd probably say no because I'm on a date with you right now."

At this Jungkook's milk slips from his hand, spilling on his pants. You grab some napkins next to you and help him wipe the spillage off.

"We're on a date?" He stands the milk upright. "This is a date?"

"Yes, it very obviously is. I don't wear this top for just anyone you know." You close your mouth instantly and sit up straight. "You weren't meant to hear the last part."

"Wait, go back. I thought this was us hanging out. Remember? At the hospital, I said–"

"C'mon the flowers, the specialty chocolates, taking me to one of your secret hideouts. Not to mention packing all this food to share. It is most definitely a date. Do you not want it to be?"

"No! I mean of course, yes. But I would have dressed a lot better." He looks down at himself, embarrassed. "I just threw these on before I left the house."

"And what else would you have worn? I see you in dress shirts and slacks twice a week at the school, if not more."

"Oh, I guess you have a point." He lets out a sigh. "To be honest __. We don't have the most proper relationship for that kind of thing, do we? It's annoying that I keep saying it but I am still your professor until the end of this semester at least. Us dating would be kind of a breach of contract."

"So you won't call this a date because you think it's forbidden?" You cross your arms.

"Well not entirely. It's just...I'm scared. There it is. And if we plan to do any sneaking around business I need to know you...shit, this is going to sound so middle school of me...I need to know you're interested in me __."

"For fucksake Jungkook, I wouldn't have agreed to come if I wasn't interested." You move closer to his side so you're inches from his face. "You're the kindest person I've ever known and I'd like to know you more like you've been doing for me the past two weeks. You've gone out of your way so many times for me that I seriously can't keep up. And while I can't say that I'm in love with you since it's much too soon, I've become very attracted to you. It just sucks we're in a bit of an odd position with school and all. But we can make this work. I'm also in post-grad so I don't think we're doing anything that risky."

"What about Taehyung?"

"That's all you got out of what I just said?"

"Sorry, I'm just asking because you seemed into him at the art exhibit. You're both artistic after all." He fiddles with his fingers. "I'm just the guy who you got stuck with this year because you couldn't major in art."

You feel compelled to take one of his restless hands in your own, so you do–holding it loosely.

"Kim Taehyung was simply a visual interest," you say. "I never thought about anything serious with him. He's also faculty so unless he saves my life or something, I'm not really considering anything beyond a friendly report."

A moment of silence is exchanged as Jungkook lets your response sink in. And as long as your eyes aren't fooling you, you'd say he's more than pleased with it.

"So...you really wanna do this?" Jungkook asks with more anticipation than nervousness this time.

"Yes." You nod.

"Wow, okay um, well when do you want to go out?" He kicks his feet back and forth. And when he reflexively squeezes your hand you can't help but grin at his eagerness. "I'm free every weekend if that works for you."

"We should probably get to the end of this date first Dr. Jeon."

"Nooo, I like Jungkook. Can we stay with Jungkook when it's just you and me? Also, this isn't a date. We need a do-over."

You laugh, seeing a new side of him. He's more, hm, whiny than you thought–it's cute.

"Jungkook, we don't need a do-over. This can be a date if we want it to be. It's got all the elements already. Look." You lift his hand in yours. "We're already holding hands.

"Nope. When are you free?"

"How about this coming Friday after 4pm? Is that too far out?"

He shakes his head fervently. "It works perfectly for me. Let's do 4:01pm." Your baffled expression causes his own eyebrows to knit together. "What? You can't do 4:01?"

"I–yeah sure I can but I didn't expect you to suggest a time so soon."

"Well, you said you'd be free after 4pm right?"

You nod.

"Then it's a date!"

He smiles wide and you do the same.

Present

"Kook, grab us a cart. You won't believe what's on sale!" You stuff about five gold-foiled boxes under your arm. The yellow tag next to the price says 75% off which means you are for sure buying at least ten of these.

It's times like these that your husband enjoys watching you most. You can barely reach the self where the clearance chocolate is, nevertheless, you're on your tip-toes with arms fully extended above your head to grab at every box of sweets you can.

His inner hero wants to help but he's learned early on not to get in the middle of you and your favorite snack. It's better he listens to your request to get a cart instead.

"Don't hurt yourself in the five minutes I'm gone okay honey?"

"Mhm," you mumble, not really paying attention. "Kook this chocolate has caramel and orange inside. Oh my god, look." You show him a box of chocolates with cherry filling. "These are to die for. I need like six of these."

"Here give me some of those." Jungkook takes the boxes of chocolates from your arm when he sees them slipping from your hold. "I'll put these in a cart while you keep digging. But if someone else comes along, let them have at least one this time."

He knows how much of a little hog you can get with your candy.

"Are you kidding? Finders keepers." You reach for another box, the ones in the back are always the best.

"__."

"What? I'm doing all the hard work here which means I get to keep all the chocolate."

"Fine, fine. Be sure to check the expiration date too." Jungkook turns around to stalk toward the front of the store. If he doesn't get his butt to a cart soon, his wife is going to turn into a grizzly bear.

A very cute grizzly bear.

But a grizzly bear nonetheless.

"Did we really need thirty boxes of these?" Jungkook dumps the grocery bags on your kitchen counter. "I love you but this is insane. Who's going to eat all of this chocolate?"

"Well, I was planning on sending the twins home with some." You rummage through the bag then move to stack them in the pantry. "They'll be here in an hour so it can be a surprise from us."

"Yoongi's twins? You're going to send the two children whose father is a dentist a whopping bag of chocolate?" Jungkook hands you another box to put in the pantry. The little assembly line works well when putting groceries away.

"I'm only giving them one box okay? So Yoongi can shove it."

You hear a snickering behind you.

"Honey don't push the man who could likely yank all your teeth out of your head and end with, 'will that be all?'"

You roll your eyes. "Yoongi doesn't scare me like he scares you. But if you're so worried I will get his permission ahead of time."

Jungkook's mouth opens in response until he feels a slight vibration in his pant pocket. When he takes it out to check his initial good mood drops about ten degrees.

"Kook?" You watch as he reads whatever it is on his phone.

"Nothing." He switches off the device and places it face-down on the counter. "It's just dad."

"Something about your mom I'm presuming?"

Being Saturday, it's been a few days since Jungkook had his fallout with his mother. They were originally planning to stay in town until Friday but left Thursday morning instead due to Mrs. Jeon feeling "unwanted".

Your husband's been in close contact with his father ever since.

"Yeah," Jungkook lets out an exasperated sigh. "She's journaling again apparently. It's what she does to cope with frustrations like me."

"I'm sorry Kook." You rub his arm soothingly. "Maybe she needs some time to think about everything that's happened. I know you want her to talk to you but maybe it's not all bad that she's jotting things down first."

"Yeah, maybe." He takes your hand and presses a light kiss against the back of your knuckles. "It's whatever though, Mom can have her fit. I'm not going to let her ruin one of the only free days I get with my wife."

You smile and quickly peck his soft lips–something Jungkook wishes would be longer.

"Love you," you say and return to your original task of putting groceries away.

"Listen to me you two gremlins," Yoongi says on a bent knee. "Eomma and I will be back by 8pm. Until then your uncle Jungkook and Aunt __ are in charge. You know the rules, no jumping around on the sofas, don't into Aunt __'s paints, stay out of Uncle Jungkook's office, and under no condition are you to get into sweets."

He flicks his eyes to you for a brief moment then sets them back on the two seven-year-old girls in front of him. They look adorable with their matching space buns.

"But Appa–"

"No Eun-ji."

"Can't I just have one? Pleaseee?" She stares up at Yoongi with large eyes, hands clasped together. His second daughter Ari quickly does the same.

"We promise we'll brush our teeth right after."

Yoongi's face remains unmoved at his twin's relentless need for chocolate. Sure, he may be the one more likely to cave to requests when it comes between him and his wife but sweets were definitely off the table. His girls just got their teeth cleaned a couple days ago too, cavity-free, and he intends to keep it that way.

"Did you even bring your toothbrushes?" He knows for a fact they did not being that they weren't staying the night.

The twins exchange looks before breaking into a goofy grin. Mrs. Min leans down next to her husband at the moment and draws her girls into a hug.

"Appa and I will bring you back something better than chocolate tonight, okay?" She kisses her daughter's cheeks and then stands up. "Be good."

"K..." The twins let out a small huff then turn to set their backpacks on the living room couch.

"Hey," Yoongi calls after them. "Where's my hug?"

You let out a snort when you see Eun-ji face her dad again, tongue sticking out. Her sister gives a similar attitude with her hands on her hips and scrunched-up face. These girls might be in elementary school now but boy, those teenage years are sure to be rocking.

"Turn." You hear Ari from across the living room. She's standing on the sofa with her small hands holding a chunk of your husband's hair.

"Like this?"

"No the other side."

With his legs crossed on the floor, Jungkook shifts his head toward your direction with widened eyes. At this point, most of his hair has been pulled back into tight braids and finished off with yellow and pink hair clips. The only section left to do now was the underside.

"How do I look?" he asks you.

"Oh, you look breathtaking honey." You feel a soft makeup brush swipe across your cheek, courtesy of Eun-ji who's decided you needed a 'makeover'. You're not sure if that means a seven year old cramped on your style or what, but either way, you're getting bronze cheeks and glittery eyeshadow.

It's only been half an hour and the twins were already making you and your husband do their utmost bidding.

"Ari honey," you coo. "You should become a hairstylist when you grow up. You're doing such a good job with Uncle Jungkook's hair."

"I know," she sasses. "I'm good at this stuff Auntie. Everyone says that I am the queen of doing hair."

You and Jungkook giggle from the small child's gumption. It's good she's confident, you mouth to your husband.

He nods back. "Eun-ji's doing a great job too. You should see the glitter she's chosen for you."

"Not yet Uncle Jungkook," Eun-ji pipes up. "She can't look yet. It's a surprise!"

"Ah okay." He throws you playful eyes, eyebrows bouncing up and down suggestively. "A surprise huh?"

You flutter your eyes closed when you see Eun-ji dab her palette and reach forward to paint the eyeshadow over your lids. "Yup." she nods her head. "I'm giving Auntie the best color ever."

"Wow I can't wait to see honey," you say. "This wouldn't happen to be your favorite color would it?"

The tease in your tone makes Eun-ji grin. Of course, you can't see it but Jungkook can and it causes him to break out into a boisterous chuckle.

"You're so cute Eun-ji," he says, clapping his hands together.

"What about me?" It's Ari's sassiness making a comeback as she pushes the final yellow clip into Jungkook's hair.

"You're cute too Ari." You reassure the child and open your lids once Eun-ji gives you the okay. Not a second following that you're thrusted forward a hand-held mirror.

"What do you think?"

You glance at yourself in the reflection, blush blue eyeshadow that covers up to your eyebrows and bronze blush. You have ruby red lipstick on as well, Eun-ji's personal favorite.

"I love it, sweetheart. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome." She gathers all the makeup containers and tools she can fit in her hands before making her way to your husband. "You're turn Jungkook."

"Okay, but can I pick what color this time?" Your husband smiles at the child with mirthful eyes.

"No." She sets the make-up in front of him and pops open a bright, Barbie pink lipstick.

"Anti-ti-ti-ti fragile, fragile!"

You watch from the kitchen as the twins jump around in the living room. After your makeover, the girls felt like a karaoke session was in order. They convinced Jungkook to join them so there he is with a microphone in his hand, belting the lyric of 'Antifragile' by LE SSERAFIM.

"Come on __!" Ari calls to you, breath heavy from all the rambunctious dancing. "Sing with us!"

You laugh and whisk the bowl of flour and sugar in front of you. "No you guys keep going. I'm a little busy at the moment."

"Doing what?" She runs up to the kitchen island where you stand, trying to peek inside the bowl.

"I'm making cookies."

"Really?" She rushes to the other side of the island to pull out the stool from underneath. Once she settles herself in the chair she looks at you with eagerness. "Can we eat them?"

"Hmm..." You pretend to think. "Didn't your dad tell you no?"

"Yeah, but you always give us sweets. Even if he says we can't have them."

The child has a point.

"How about this, if you help me make these you can eat them. But you can't tell your dad okay?" Ari nods. "Good, you can stir this for me while I crack some eggs."

"Just what are you doing?" You jump when Jungkook walks up behind you. "You wouldn't be giving these sweet girls something their parents told them they could have, would you?"

"Dad will be really mad if he finds out," Eun-ji joins in on the scolding. She turns down the music from the tv and folds her arms.

"Well I–"

"If you're going behind Yoongi hyung's back you're going to need some help, honey." Jungkook slides one of the kitchen draws open and reaches to take out a small plastic bag. He throws out two brand new kid-size toothbrushes, orange and blue. "Had a feeling we'd need these tonight after seeing you stock up on all that chocolate today."

"Now girls..." He turns to look at Ari and Eun-ji who seem to be busy mixing the bowl of flour and sugar together. "Hey girls."

They lift their heads.

"Make sure to brush twice before your dad gets back. This stays our little secret, understand?"

"Okay," they say in unison.

"Thank you Kook." You lean your head against your husband's firm chest, resting for a moment. This whole situation is kind of funny if you think about it. But you really hope you don't get beef from Yoongi later.

"Anything for you," Jungkook quips and kisses your head gently.

"Ew..." You hear Ari say.

"No it's not," Eun-ji bites back. "It's romantic, like the movies."

Ari scrunches her face at her sister. "No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"Nope."

You and Jungkook wait for the two of them to simmer down but they keep going at it. Yes, no, yes, no...back and forth until one of them scoops up a handful of the flour in the bowl and tosses it at the other.

"Uh okay, no more! No more." You and Jungkook lunge forward to sweep the bowl out of their reach.

"How about you let Auntie and Uncle finish making the cookies and you two go back to karaoke?" Jungkook successfully persuades the twins and they run back into the living room in search of the next biggest hit to jam to.

You lock eyes with Jungkook now, wordless.

"Hm?" He hums at you.

"Mm." You shrug your shoulders and move towards the fridge but not before you're flicked with some of the flour yourself–your husband's hand powdery from the mixture. "Kook!"

You wipe your face, and light laughs fall from both your lips.

"Okay girls, get brushing!" Jungkook guides the twins to the bathroom. "Your parents are going to be home in fifteen minutes and that means these teeth need to smell like nothing my fresh mint." He squeezes the toothpaste on each girl's brush.

"Bursh, brush, brush," he chants and you shake your head as you wash the cookie sheet in the kitchen sink.

The twins have eaten about three cookies each and with chocolate stains all over their faces, they're going to need more than a 2-minute teeth brushing.

"Honey, I'm cracking the windows open and lighting my candles." Jungkook rushes around the house in search of his vanilla bean scents.

"I don't think that's going to take away the smell in such a short time. We should probably just take the beating Kook," you holler back.

"Oh, we're definitely getting dragged out tonight." He yanks the candle jars open and lights them. "The smell of freshly baked cookies is still too strong to hide but I'm hoping these candles will act as a distraction."

You hit your husband with the kitchen towel, the snap of it making him throw you a startled look. "Shit–do you not see the lighter in my hand?"

You roll your eyes. "Relax drama queen, you didn't have it ignited yet. Anyway, the candles aren't necessary if we're opening all the windows."

"It'll help though."

"Not really."

"Well, I think they will."

Jungkook goes back to lighting his candles and once he has the twentieth one lit, he's thoroughly pleased with himself.

As soon as the twins finish cleaning themselves up, they help scatters them throughout the house, leaving them in as many corners with surfaces as possible.

"Okay, that's it! That's the last one." Jungkook high-fives the twins and you toss the last dish in the drying rack.

"Good job team." You laugh and join them in the living room.

Eun-ji plops herself on the sofa with her backpack in her lap. "I had a lot of fun tonight."

Ari joins her on the couch with her own backpack in hand. "Me too." She pauses and then says something that you and Jungkook were very much underprepared for.

"You would make good mom and dads."

"You think so?" Jungkook shocks you by responding first.

Ari nods. "If you had kids, we could all play together. And we can have all the cookies we want because we'll be best friends. And best friends share everything!"

"So you want Auntie and I to have kids so you can keep hiding cookies from your dad?" Jungkook lunges forward to tickle the child mercilessly. "You little cookie monster!"

Ari rolls around on the couch, giggling repeatedly. You can't help but feel the thumping of your heart as you watch the scene unfold. And for the slightest moment, you imagine what it would be like with your own child.

All those thoughts are put to an abrupt end however when the doorbell rings.

Jungkook flies to the door to let Yoongi and his wife in. He flashes you a little smile before opening it, ensuring you that whatever happens he's got your back.

"Were you guys baking in here?" Are Yoongi's first words as he and the Mrs step inside the entryway of your house.

"Um, no? No, I don't think so." Jungkook feigns ignorance. "It must be coming from our neighbor's house."

With the twins home with their parents, you and Jungkook curl up together in your bed. You nuzzle your head in his inner shoulder and his arm holds around your waist.

"Those girls are a lot," Jungkook says. "But you know, I have to agree with them this time–it was kinda fun."

"Yeah?" You aimlessly trace circles on his chest.

"Still crazy, but yeah. I felt like I had a lot of good energy inside me tonight. And you know something else?" He looks down at you.

"What?"

"We'd make pretty damn good parents."

You bolt up from your reclined position the second the words drop.

"You can't keep doing this to me Jungkook," you say, your hands gripping the soft comforter. This isn't the first time he's teased you with having a baby and every time he does, you don't know what to take it as.

Is it a joke, is he serious, or just talking?

"You know how I feel and–"

"Hey." Your husband leans up to stroke your back with warm hands. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry honey. I don't mean to confuse you. I really am thinking about it you know? With everything that's been going on with my parents lately, I know I've been hard to pin down but I really am serious when I say we'd make good parents. Or when I say we might have a possible baby to make one day."

"Might. Could make. Maybe." You stare straight at your husband. "I know you're warming up the idea but you're still talking in such vague terms. I'm not at all trying to rush us to decide on a baby or not. But I just don't want to get a false sense of hope...that you'll say yes."

"Come here." He draws you into an embrace and kisses your cheeks, both of them. "I'm sorry for being an idiot. I admit the first few times I was more loose with what I was saying than I should have been. But I swear I, it was never my intention to be leaving you guessing. I'm so sorry."

"I just want to know what you really think Kook. So I can be sure where you're at through this whole thing. The last few days have thrown a wrench at us with all the stuff your mom's been doing. But I'd still like to be in the loop of things."

"Yes, of course. I'm going to tell you everything right now okay?" Jungkook takes a breath. "I want to give you a baby so bad and I think I'm 70 percent there. But I'm also 60% not there because I'm terribly scared that once it happens, once we have a baby...that I'll revert back to my original mindset of not wanting one."

"Kook–"

"Hold on a second."

You close your mouth and allow him to continue.

"I've already started seeing and feeling being around kids differently than before. So much so that I think we could be happy if we started a family together because I'm so happy when I'm with you. And if there's anyone I could do that with, it'd be you and only you. So yes, I want us to have a baby, as many as you want, but I want to be 100% there first."

"Okay, that's fair. I'm not going to lie that I don't feel a little out of body from what you just said. Just to clarify, you're saying yes to how many babies?" You shine your eyes at him. "You said you want to give me as many babies as I want right? How many would that be?"

"My limit is yet to be determined." He grins at you. "It seems I might need to repeat some things if all you got out of what I just said is that I'll give you as many babies as you want."

"No, actually." You grip his hand. "I heard what you said and thank you. I feel a lot better knowing your thought process through this whole thing. We both need to be 100 % in before deciding on this next step in our lives. And about you being worried that you'll revert back to not wanting children. I'm no expert but I don't think that'll be true given your recent exposure with kids has made you feel better than worse. You said it yourself–you had a lot of good energy inside you tonight."

"True. You make an excellent point there. I think I still need some more time though. I was even thinking that maybe I'll....talk to Hoseok about this."

"I'm glad to hear that Kook. Hoseok is an amazing man and I know talking to him about all this will be nothing but beneficial for you."

"Thank you for being patient with me." Jungkook pulls you both down on the mattress, closing his eyes when his head hits the pillow.

"Same to you." You snuggle back into his chest. "I really hope we can have a family together."

"Me too," you hear him mumble before you close your own eyes.

A/N: Yup I told you this would be a long one. Ty for sticking with me! Also, what do you think? Was it a first date or not? LMK your thoughts 🥰

Masterlist

Taglist:

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#jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook imagine #jungkook fanfic #bts smut #bts x reader #bts imagines #bts fanfic #bts au #fic:toolatetodream #kookslastbutton

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19emma75 · 9 months

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my fav frerard fics

Ok so here’s my grank fic rec list!! I’ve put links to each fic on ao3 for easy access + most if not all have nsfw/explicit elements so be warned!! I’ve written afew tags next to each one so u get an idea but no spoilers ok here we gooo

⭐️ = fav of all time/must read

- The Best Part of My Day by pixie_revolver - office co-workers au

- ⭐️pinkish by antspaul - kid fic, fake relationship to lovers

- Black Market Blood by autoschediastic - short vamp!gee/human!frank

- ⭐️The Mess We've Made by ViciousVenin - pencey era frank, strangers to lovers, angst with happy ending

- Life as a Process by ViciousVenin - fav vamp!gee fic, college roommates au

- Happy Together by MorningGloryxxx - focus on mental health/lgbt themes/addiction, eventual happy ending

- A Splitting Of The Mind by Shoved2agree - yall already know, cw for heavy mental health focus

- Unwanted Thoughts by ViciousVenin - touring, pining, friends to lovers

- Skin of the Canvas by sinsense - art school/nude model au

- ⭐️Unholyverse trilogy by Bexless - holy grail of fics, priest!gee, demons, stigmata (you've probably already read this ik)

- ⭐️The Anatomy of a Fall by novembersmith - supernatural, high school au

- ''that was easy'' by metaleaterz - 'the staples fic', they just work at staples and its cute ok

- another superstition by metaleaterz - friends to lovers houseflipping au

- ⭐️Crossed Out by Haze - time travel and blood magic!! so incredible it should be made into a tv show umbrella academy style

- ⭐️In a Column of Lights by xobarriers - entomologist!gee/director!frank, SO wholesome and sweet and lovely

- Did You Miss Me? Cause I Missed You by LiberXI - wholesome/funny/smutty friends to lovers college au

- ⭐️Nothing Above Nothing Below by LiberXI - pencey era strangers to lovers with a supernatural twist, LOVE the writing style sm

- You Will Leave a Mark by brooklinegirl - short but intense pencey era strangers to lovers

- rough ‘round the edges by starryfrens - sick fic with gee as frank’s caregiver, heavy and heartwarming

- Living on a prayer by beforethesungoesdown, Kitoko_kun - priest x priest with expected amounts of catholic guilt and pining

- Before The Second Show by CharredLips - sweet + fluffy bullets era mutual pining

- ⭐️Wishing You Were a Ghost by pixie_revolver - “right person wrong time”, angst with happy ending, heartbreaking but amazing

- ⭐️Kinktober 2023 by insusurro - all parts set in the same universe, surprisingly heartwarming for the subject matter, great characterisation

- ⭐️Moth to Flame (or Whatever) by onceuponamoon - insanely perfect florist au

- Companion by onceuponamoon - workplace au (carer/office worker)

- Buy Handmade + Bread and Butter by jjtaylor - adorable artist/baker au

- ⭐️Paris!Verse trilogy by vesna - artist gerard/record label owner frank, INSANELY good characterisation, so beautiful and emotional

- Time Travel ‘verse by ladyfoxxx - funpoison/frankghoul/rrr time travel shenanigans, amazing and kind of heartbreaking

- Christmas Miracle by insusurro - wholesome and festive teacher au

- Choosing My Confessions series by pixie_revolver - kinky/wholesome priest au

- a constant record of disillusion by drapnel - non au realistic pre-bullets to post-summer sonic ‘04, heavy so read tags

- All Through The Night by LiberXI - bullets era meet cute

- ⭐️The Horror That I’m In by pixie_revolver - paramour estate, paranormal activity, frank goes through the horrors, angst with happy ending

updating periodically so keep an eye out <3

#frerard #grank #fic rec #mcr fic #fan fiction #remember when this was an art blog? me neither #gerard way #frank iero #mcr

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lovrre · 1 year

Text

Lost and found~ part 1

Crack baby by mitski ♫

Pre-outbreak Joel miller and post-oubreak Joel miller x Fem reader

Prt2 <<here

Word count: 3k

Warnings: cursing, lots of angst, a little fluffy in the beginning, and probably some other stuff.

Summary: you and Joel begin to plan your future together, but there's a secret you're just not ready to tell him yet, you're pregnant. When You and Joel get separated on outbreak day, you see him again after 20 years but now your secret is all grown up.

Author’s note: this part is really the warm up for part two that's going to get more into the relationship between Joel and his new kid and his kids relationship with Ellie. Also I wrote this all to Crack baby by mitski.

Sunday, September 25th, 2003, 12:15 Am, Austin, Texas

You and Joel sat on the couch, you let your legs sprawl over his lap as you two watched TV. You took a bite of the cookie you stole from the fridge and leaned over to give Joel a bite. “Open,” you say, pressing the cookie to his lips. Joel obeys, opening his mouth and taking a bite before returning his attention to the show. “Hmm, where did you get that,” he asks, gesturing for another bite, you smile, bringing the cookie back to his mouth.

“ It was in the fridge,” you say, laughing at the way he took a second bite. Joel goes to turn the channel and you stop him. “No, I like this one!” You say, gesturing to the little ballerinas on screen, practicing their Plié. “ They're so cute… When me and Nia were kids we wanted to be ballerinas and I mean so, so bad. We would buy tutus with our spare money, and we begged our mom every day for about a year to sign us up for classes” you say, finishing up the last piece of the cookie. “ It was that or a hairdresser”

“Did she ever sign you up?” Joel asks you shake your head, moving a bit closer, so you’re sitting on his lap.“nope, but good thing she didn't if I had become a famous ballerina I would be somewhere dancing instead of with you” you say, leaning over and planting a kiss on his lips.

“What I'm not good enough for a ballerina?” Joel asks, looking up at you with a smile on his face, his lips inches away from yours. “ You are for this one,” you say, giving him a small kiss on his lips. When you finish, Joel readjusts himself on the couch slightly but doesn't move you. “When I was younger I wanted to be a singer,” Joel says, turning to you, not a hit of humor on his face. You hold back your laughter “hmm” you say, pressing your lips into a tight smile, desperately trying to keep your composure. “What’s funny?” Joel asks his face bunching up in confusion “nothing”

~~~~~

An hour later

“JOEL, DON’T!” You say, putting your hands over your pizza, “you already had three” he says, trying to grab at it. “Sarah, are you going to let him do this?” you ask, turning to her for help. “Sorry, this is a couple

quarrel, not my business,” she says, walking out of the kitchen. “ JOEL, STOP, YOUR FAT ASS DOSE NOT NEED ANYMORE,” you scream as he comes over to literally wrestles with you over it. “I'm not giving it to you,” you say with a stern tone. “ I ain't asking,” Joel says, trying to take it from you. You pull your arm far behind you where he can't reach. “I’ll cough on it,” you say, holding it up close to your mouth. “Do it” you do exactly what he says, coughing all over the pizza. Before you can do anything, Joel Is kissing you, he takes advantage of your confusion, and he snatches the pizza right out of your hand and begins eating it, Taking large obnoxious bites.

You watch him disgusted. “you’re disgusting, I literally coughed all over that, I hope you get sick,” you say, still staring at him annoyed. “ After all I’ve done with that mouth, you think I care about a little cough,” he says with a smile, leaning against the sink and taking another bite. You roll your eyes, “why are you so nasty…?” you say, making a face as if you had something unpleasant in your mouth. Joel puts down what’s left of the pizza on the counter before walking toward you. “ You made me this way baby,” he says in a very fake thick country accent, that reminded you a bit of Elvis, you laugh, pushing him out of your personal space. “Don’t do that” you laugh, shaking your head in disapproval.

“ What baby, you don’t like this voice on me?” he says, leaning in for a kiss, Still using the funny accent. “ GET AWAY FROM ME,” you say, pushing his face away, trying to run out of his grasp. Joel follows behind, chasing you through the house, You make it to the living room before Joel grabs you, throwing you over his shoulder. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU” you scream, punching and kicking at his chest. “ Little lady, I gotta get you down to the station,” He says, making his way up the stairs with you over his shoulder. “ You're so weird,” you say, giving up On the fight

You get to the top of the steps and Joel almost trips. You laugh, “c’mon on cowboy, you can do it,” you say, slapping his butt. Joel makes a funny gasping sound and You both break out into silent laughter, trying to be quiet in case Sarah was sleeping. “GOOD NIGHT GUYS!” Sarah yells through her closed bedroom.

“Good night baby girl” Joel replies, still walking to his bedroom, you still over his shoulder. “Good night, Sarah,” you say before Joel opens his bedroom door, kicking it close with his feet once you two are inside.

Sunday, September 25th, 2003

8:32 Am

Joel wakes up in bed, the sun shining through the windows and onto his face. He rolls over, hoping to feel your body next to his, but instead was greeted with the feeling of cold bunched-up sheets. He sits up, rubbing his hand over his face and letting out a sigh. He looks over at the clock. It’s 8:32 he assumed you’ve probably gone home to get ready for work.

Walking down the stairs, he hears laughter coming from the living room. “You’re out!” you yell. Joel turns the corner to see you and Sarah playing what seems to be a makeshift Dance, Dance revolution with arrows made from tape on the floor. “YOU’RE CHEATING OH MY GOD” Sarah yells “no I said left, left, up, down, right, left, you went up twice,” you say, pointing to the arrows as you talk. “ NO, I WENT DOWN!” Sarah says, pointing to the arrow. “Proof?” you ask, a smile spreading across your face,

Sarah pushes you Lightly on Your shoulder and you both laugh, Sarah stops laughing before you, noticing Joel behind you “oh hi dad,” Sarah says. You turn around and see Joel standing in the entranceway with a big smile on his face. “Good morning ”

You walk over to him, leaving a kiss on his cheek before walking to the kitchen. “We made breakfast, well, Sarah made breakfast I made eggs,” you say, pouring a cup of coffee. “That’s probably for the best,” Joel says, sitting down at the table, Sarah rolls her eyes and pulls out a chair, and sits next to him. You made Joel a cup of coffee too, placing it in front of him before sitting down in your chair. “Thanks,” he says before going back to what he was about to say, “You took off from work today?” Joel asks, taking a sip of the coffee you gave him.

“Yeah I wasn’t feeling well, but I work tomorrow, I get off around six, so I’ll stop by, so we can do something” you take a sip of your coffee before continuing. “Tomorrow is the big day, anything particular you want,” you ask smiling into your mug. “This is good, all of us together,” Joel says, smiling at the two of you, his words hang in the air for a second before Sarah speaks. “oh god he’s gone soft,” Sarah says, looking in your direction “I know right? He couldn’t have said cologne or something” you both laughs. Joel rolls his eyes, “remind me not to be honest with you two”.

“Will do” Sarah replies, grabbing her fork to finish her plate from earlier. You hear a dog barking outside, and it reminds you of your own “Oh my god what time is it” you say, jumping up abruptly. Joel looks at his bare arm before remembering his watch is broken. His eyes search for the clock on the wall. “It’s nine o'clock – what’s the issue, I thought you were off today?”

“I am, I have to go home and feed Luna,” you say, walking over to the front door and putting on your shoes. “You can’t stay a little longer,” Sarah asks, making a funny lip pout, “I wish I could honey, but I’ve been here almost a whole two days and totally forgot to ask my neighbor to feed her” Sarah takes a sad bite of eggs. “ I’ll be back tomorrow after you come from school, actually if you call me early enough I’ll drop you off,” you say, finally getting your shoe over your back heel. “ You swear?” Sarah asks, raising an eyebrow,“ I swear” you say, walking back over to kiss her on the head. You stretch over her and leave one on Joel’s as well. “See you, tomorrow babe,” you say before running out the door.

When you’ve been gone a minute, Sarah speaks. “When Are you going to marry her?” Joel damn near choked on his coffee. “What?” Joel asks, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “You’ve been dating for almost two years, you still don’t live together, and you’re not engaged yet. What are you doing ?” Joel goes silent for a second before speaking. “ I don’t know…things seem good how they are, I don’t wanna mess that up,” he says, getting up from the table to make himself a plate of the now-cold French toast. “ You just might do that if you keep waiting, you better hope she wants to wait around a hundred years for a ring”

“ You talk too much,” Joel says, sitting down at the table with his plate. “ I’m just not saying what you want to hear,” Sarah says, taking another bite of eggs. The door opens, and their heads turn, it’s Tommy. “ Y’all have to start locking this door,” Tommy says, jiggling the handle. “ Hi uncle Tommy, me and y/n made breakfast. There should be a little left if you want some,” Sarah says,

“ I just came to pick up my tools from the garage. I’m not staying long—wait, Joel, can you hand me the cookies wrapped in aluminum foil in the back of the fridge with the sticky note” Joel stays silent for a second before answering. “The chocolate ones?” “Yeah,” Tommy replied, already afraid of where this was going. “The cookies?” Joel asked, preparing his apology, already in his head. “Yeah” Tommy replied

“My bad, me and Y/N ate those” Tommy looks at Joel, slightly worried. “Joel those were edibles” Sarah lets out a laugh “that explains it,” she says, trying to finish chewing her food, so she can speak. “They were running through here like a bunch of kids,” Joel thinks for a second before talking, “Tommy, why the hell did you-“Tommy speed walks out of the kitchen to the garage “We’ll talk about this later!” Joel yells, standing up to put his mug in the sink, “we need to take away his key”.

“It’s not like we lock the door,” Sarah laughs, getting up to put her plate in the sink.

~~~

Monday, September 26th, 2003

7:30 am

Sarah balances the phone in the crook of her shoulder while brushing her teeth “hello, y/n, I’m almost ready you can come ”she says, mostly muffled from the toothbrush. “Ok, I’m on my way right now,” you say and hang up the phone. Sarah does the same, placing it on the side of the sink.

You pull up outside Joel’s and debate going inside, the news you got yesterday making you a little unsure. You honk the horn and Joel comes outside, walking towards the car. He looks good, fresh like he just got out of the shower. You roll down the window, ”hey birthday boy, you look good ” you whistle. “Good morning baby,” Joel says with a wide smile, ducking his head through the window to leave a quick kiss on your lips

“Sarah’s almost finished, she's looking for her shoes,” he says, leaning on the car a bit. “ Can I get in, I wanna ask you something,” he says, moving back a bit, “Yeah, yeah of course you say. Unlocking the car door, Joel walks around and jumps in the passenger seat, he smells really good, probably because he used the cologne you got him last year on his birthday. He leans the seat all the way back, the way he likes to do when you too are having long car conversations. “What’s up,” you ask, a little worried for some reason, watching him look up at you for the seat.

“Do you think I would be a good husband,” Joel says plainly. You instantly relax at the question, you shake your head. “No, you’d be a terrible husband…” you say in a serious tone. “Really?” Joel asks, sitting up. You smile, “Ya, you’re way too thoughtful and kind to caring, wayyyy too good of a father, you would be a horrible husband. Joel's body relaxed and he laughs, “What about me, would I be a good wife?” You ask, the weird feeling of worry creeping back slightly. “ No you’d be a horrible wife, you’re wayyy too beautiful, too kind, I’d love you too much,” he says, laying back down in the seat.

His words hang in the air as you two sit in a moment of comfortable silence. “But if I’m being serious, I think you’d be a great wife” you involuntarily smile at his words

“you’re great with Sarah, you’re understanding, we barely fight. It’s good with you”

“Is this a proposal?” You joke, and Joel goes quiet. “ It could be,” he says, all his attention on you. Your heart feels like it drops for a second, “you wanna get married?” You ask, a little surprised. “ I understand if you ar-,” Joel asks, seconds away from stumbling over his words. “— No, no, no, Joel, I want to marry you,” you say, making it very clear you are serious. “ I just didn’t think you were ready yet, I know you’ve been married before, and I didn’t want to rush you”

“ I rushed into my first marriage, I was young and got married for the wrong reasons,” he says, still looking intently at you. “So you want to marry me?” You say again, shock still running through you. “When?” you question, excitement starting to enter your body. “Whenever, unless you want a big wedding,” Joel asks. “ I don’t have much family you know it’s only me and Nia, most of the seats would be empty,” you say, letting out a dry laugh.

“ Ok then it can be small, sometime this week, maybe this month,” Joel says, without a hint of humor, in his voice. “ Oh my god, you really want to marry me” you laugh, your smile hurting your cheeks. “Yes I do, Y/N” Joel replied, a smile creeping up on his lips. “ Only you would propose like this,” you say, shaking your head. “I wanted to do something romantic, I did, but it just kept me up all night, I was starting to get so Damn impatient I almost called you up Twice last night and proposed right then”. You laugh at his cuteness. “ Well my answer is yes,” you say, leaning over leaving a small sensual kiss on his lips.

The back car door opens, and you both look back to see Tommy plopping down on the seat. “ Oh, Tommy's here…” you say unenthusiastically. “Sarah's still looking for them damn shoes - am I interrupting something?” Tommy asks, looking between the two of you. “I proposed,” Joel said, looking back a Tommy, “you’re fucking with me” you shake your head and Tommy instantly lights up. “CONGRATS BROTHER, I DIDIN’T THINK YOU HAD I’T IN YOU,” he says, patting Joel on the back. “I thought it be a lifetime before he snagged you up,” Tommy says looking at you, “me too,” you say, smiling.

Joel doesn’t say anything else, taking a big gulp of the coffee that was in your cup holder.

“ If we’re being honest, I should be the one getting married, I mean I did know you first, the better Miller brother is right here if you change your Mind,” Tommy says jokingly a hint a truth behind his words. You did know him first an Tommy did have a brief thing for you years ago. “Nah… Tommy I don’t think you’d look good in the dress,” you say, trying very hard not to laugh. “I think he’d look more like a male-order bride,” Joel says, looking at you while putting back down your coffee, “emphasis on the male” you joke as soon as the words leave your lips, and you break out into laughter. “I changed my mind, you two are perfect for each other,” Tommy says, unamused before opening the car door and getting out. “Please Ask Sarah to hurry up, we’re late” you yell at Tommy right before he closes the door behind him.

You watch Sarah run out of the house seconds later, you lean In kissing Joel goodbye. “Love you, see you later,” you say as he gets out of the car. “ love you too,” he replies, ducking his head back into the open window for another kiss. “shit, I almost forgot… I have something to tell you” you shake your head, your courage instantly fleeting “never mind I’ll tell you tonight”.

“ Ok see ya, baby,” Joel says, hitting the car before walking back to the house. Sarah gives her dad a wave before jumping into the passenger seat. “ Girl, what took you so long?” You say, starting the car back up “I couldn’t find my shoes anywhere and when I did, they were in the wash, I tried to blow-dry them, but they're still wet” Sarah says, struggling with her seatbelt. You think for a second before answering. “Look in the back I should have some converses or something back there, I think we’re around the same size.

Sarah climbs over the seat and searches under the passenger side chair. “Found them,” she says before pulling out a pair of shoes and throwing them on. After she’s finished tying them, she climbs back over the seat, putting on her seatbelt.

“ I’m going to fix dad’s watch for his birthday,” Sarah tells you, looking at the passing cars. “ With who's money?” you asked confused, “his” Sarah replies, still looking at the cars. “ How are you going to gift someone something they paid for” Sarah shrugs. “You could have asked me,”

You say quickly looking over at her. “ But it's funnier if he paid for it,” you think for a second before answering. “ It is”

“What did you get him for his birthday” Sarah asks turning to you. you go silent at the realization that the real “gift” was growing inside you. “ It’s a secret” you say kee you eyes on the road

~~~

You drop Sarah off at school and hand her five dollars for lunch. “bring me back one of those muffins from the cafeteria” you yell as she walks towards the school entrance. “Chocolate?” she yells, turning around to walk backward, so she faces you. “Yeah” you reply and she turns around. You watch to make sure she enters the school before driving off.

You get into work late and your manager forces you to work a double. You spend your whole day thinking about what your wedding with Joel would be like. After work, you stopped at home to change into some cuter clothes before going to Joel's house. The News anchor was still going on about a virus, the Same stuff He’d been talking about all day. You lay down for what feels like a second, just trying to relax, the News anchor’s voice slowly fading into the background.

~~~~

Tuesday, September 27th, 2003

2:30 Am

You wake up to the annoying ringing of your phone, your eyes flutter open, and you jump up at the realization that you fell asleep. Your eyes land on your clock on the bedside table that reads 2:30. “Shit, shit, shit” you repeat, frantically searching for your ringing phone under your pillow and on the nightstand, You had slept through Joel's birthday and missed the perfect time to tell him. Frustrated you make your way to the floor to look for your phone. You found it between the nightstand and your bed. Finally, answer the phone.

“Hello?” You say, slightly out of breath.

“Y/N?” Sarah asks, worry coating her voice. “ yeah- you alright sweetheart, you sound scared” you reply, standing up from the floor and sitting on the bed. “Yeah, I woke up and Dad wasn’t here, I was wondering if he was with you, all the channels were off on the TV and I keep hearing helicopters ”. She says, her voice still sounding shaky “No, he’s not, but I can call him, Do you need me to come over?” You ask, already walking towards your bedroom door.

“Can you?” She whispers, you leave your bedroom and walk towards your front door, putting on your shoes. “Yeah, of course, I'm on my way right now, stay in the house and lock the doors”. You say, walking back to your bedroom to get your purse.

“Ok, see you soon” and with that, you hang up the phone and dial Joel’s number, but You only get his voicemail. “ You have reached the voice mail of… “Joel Miller”, please leave a message at the tone”.

“ Hey, baby it's Y/N sorry I couldn't make it tonight. I accidentally passed out as soon as I got home, Sarah just called me looking for you, she sounded really worried so I'm on my way to your house right now, please call me back when you get a chance.”

Tuesday, September 27th, 2003

3:25 Am

“Hello?” You called out, opening the unlocked door, the house is completely empty. You walk halfway up the stairs and called out again. “ Sarah?” No response, so you walk up the stairs, “Joel?” still no response. You Open Sarah's bedroom Door and are greeted by more nothing, you walk further in the room and a muffin on her table next to a birthday card for Joel catches your attention, It's not chocolate, but you can tell it's from Sarah's school, likely the one you asked her for yesterday.

You walk out of her bedroom and into Joel’s, the windows are open, letting in the moonlight. You walk closer to the window, the cold air and the sound of sirens coming through, you could see the whole town up there. Your phone rings in your pocket, and you quickly fumble to answer. “ Y/N?” your body relaxes at the sound of his voice. “Joel?”

“Y/N were all ok, The highways packed were driving past the old movie theater,” Joel says, spitting out his words a mile a minute. Looking out the window, you can see a plane flying very low over the builds near the plaza where the old theater should be. “Joel… where are you again?” you say, fear racing through your body at the thought. “JOEL” He doesn't answer, and your heart starts beating harder in your chest, “JOEL WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU” you scream “where almost out of the plaza meet us about a mile down keep your pho-”

“JOEL! ” you scream, watching the plane seconds away from crashing into town. “SHIT, TOMMY MOVE MOVE MOV-” Joel yells from the other side of the phone, all you hear is a crash as the line goes silent.

“JOEL JOEL! ” you scream, tears running down your face. The silence feels like it’s surrounding you, the last seconds of the call reply in your ear like a recording. You stand completely still staring out the window for what felt like hours in disbelief at what you just saw and heard. When You finally get the courage to move, a blue velvet box catches your eye. It sticks out like a sore thumb on Joel’s messy dresser, A part of You already knew what it was, but your brain told you that you needed to open it. Even though if it was what you thought it was, it would make everything real. You slowly opened the box, your heart beating louder in your ears with each passing second.

It’s an engagement ring, the perfect engagement ring, your engagement ring from Joel. Tears in your eyes, you examine the ring band, on the inside, there’s writing “My Ballerina” Suddenly everything hits you, You let out the most blood cuddling sub as you fall to your knees holding on to the ring box.

Thursday, December 18th,2023

2:12 pm, Jackson, Wyoming

20 years later

Rae bends down, grabbing her book bag off the floor and rummaging through it frantically on the bed. Her best friend sits on a chair in the corner of the room, bouncing a ball off the wall and into his hand. “ What the hell are you looking for,” August says, continuing to bounce the ball off the wall. “My mom wants that damn picture of my dad, I think I put it in my bag somewhere,” Rae says, dumping the contents of the bag out on the bed. “Does she not have another picture?” August asks confused.

“ Yeah somewhere, but she gets in a way about this picture, I rather find it, I don’t feel like hearing her mouth right now,” Rae says picking through all the stuff on the bed. “I mean, does your mom even yell… I’ve never heard her raise her voice” August says, no longer playing with the ball, his attention on Rae’s frantic movements. “ Oh she yells,” Rae says, walking to the closet to look through her coat pocket, she rummages for a second. “Found it,” Rae says, taking the picture out of her coat pocket to examine it before putting it back and sliding on her coat. “Is your mom cooking tonight?” August asks, putting back on his jacket that was laying on your bed. “ probably not, she's in one of her moods today. I'm starting to worry again, she’s so stuck in the Damn past, all she does is talk about him” Rae says, zipping up her coat.

“Your Dad?” August asks, zipping up his jacket, “yeah, I know she loved him, but it's been twenty years now, she has to move on eventually. But in her defense it’s been a lot recently, Tommy coming here, finding out he’s alive and then finding out my dad’s alive… That just made it worse, I hate to say it, but I think it was better when she thought he was dead” Rae says, walking out of the room down the steps, August follows close behind. “ So if I died today, you would stop caring 20 years from now?” August asks, a cocky smile on his face. “ I love that, that's what you gathered from that….” Rae says, continuing down the stairs. “So…would you?” “Most likely” Rae states plainly

“ Wow, and to think I was gonna make you the godmother of my future children,” August says sarcastically, shaking his head side to side. “I wouldn't want to be the godmother of your ugly ass kids anyway,” Rae says, walking into the living room.” Why do my kids have to be ugly?” August asked, slightly offended. “ Because anyone willing to lay with your ass has to be hideous” August doesn’t say anything, just looks at her slightly annoyed.

You’re sitting on the couch in the living room drinking Tea watching Rae and August bicker in the entryway, Rae shoves August before walking over and plopping down next to you. “ I found it,” Rae says, pulling a picture of Joel out of her pocket and handing it to you. “Thank you, baby,” you say, taking a good look at it before putting it down on the coffee table. “Where are you going?” you ask, gesturing to Rae's big coat. “Me and August are going to the dining hall, you want anything?” Rae asks, sitting up from the couch,“ actually, I think I'll go. I should probably get out of the house”. You saying standing up “thank god” Rae whispers under her breath. “What was that?” you ask raising a brow. ”nothing” Rae replies giving you a tightlipped smile.

~~~

You’re in line with Rae getting food, she stays quiet for a while, taking time to think about what she would say. “I was thinking Me, you, and August go hunting tomorrow look for some deer,” Rae says, walking down the line with you. There’s a bit of silence as you consider your reply, “I don't know Depends on how I'm feeling-you want some corn” You ask, holding the spoon towards her plate, “I’m good-mom do you seriously intend to stay in That house doing nothing forever” Rae asks moving farther down the line. “Yes,” you say, letting out a dry laugh

“ Mom, It's not funny,” Rae says, her tone turning serious, stopping completely, so you both are entirely still in line. “I'm starting to worry…nowadays, you don't do anything but mope, It's affecting your health, It's Affecting me it's Affect-” You cut her off “-I hear you, I hear, ok I'll go hunting,” you say knowing that there's not one bone in your body that desires to do that. “ I promise I'll be ok, you'll be ok and my health will be ok” you laugh. “ See, that’s my moma,” Rae says, a smile spreading across her face as she looks at the smile on your own. Your heart warms at the words, and you think to yourself, maybe it might be easier to try to move on for everyone else.

You two walk a little farther down the line, just inches away from the end. “You’re not gonna eat that,” you chuckle, watching Rae pile a heap of diced potatoes on the corner of her plate. “I am,” Rae says matter-of-factly, “ we’ll see” you reply unconvinced.” “Yes, we will see” Rae replies, getting ready to walk to the table, you stop her, placing your hand on her shoulder “wait-can you take my plate I want to see if they have any cups,” you say, handing Rae your plate.

“Sure,” She says, taking the plate and walking towards the table before stopping dead in her tracks, completely frozen in shock, your back facing her you don’t realize, and keeping searching for the cups. “I don’t see any over here, do you know where the extras are?” You ask, but there’s no answer. You stand on your tippy-toes looking over the counter for the cups “Rae?” you call out, but There's Still no reply “Girl I’m talking to you-” You say, turning around to scold Rae but are instantly stunned. Your eyes land on Joel Miller, after 20 years of life without him, you think you must be hallucinating, but you don't wipe your eyes or shake your head in fear that he might disappear. He looks the same but so different at the same time, he’s aged so much since you last time you saw him.

Only a couple of feet separate you two, but it feels like he's miles away. You wanna talk, you want to say something, but your mouth feels dry. Your heart thumps heavily. In Your chest, you can feel every thump and jerk in your body. Suddenly, your legs feel weak like your body is forgetting how to stand. “Joel?” you finally speak, you move a step forward and suddenly grow very dizzy. Before you can do anything to stop it everything goes black.

“ Y/N-” Joel looks like he’s going to rush you to your side, but debates it. Instead watching Rae curiously as she runs up and helps you. She lightly shakes you, gently slapping your face “Mom?” you don't answer, and she puts a finger under your nose to see if you’re breathing. “ She's breathing” Rae says letting out a sigh, relief. “TOMMY CAN YOU HELP ME!” Rae yells, and He comes out of thin air. Ellie comes up from the side of Joel, “ You know her ?” Ellie asks, confused, looking down at the scene. Joel doesn't say anything, the world going quiet around him as he watches Rae With curiosity. Her hair was braided in two French braids, but he could tell it was curly, like Sarahs but also like yours. she had a small button nose like you, but her eyes reminded him of his own. The possibility swarmed through his mind as he watched her.

“ ARE YOU GONNA HELP?” Rae yells at Joel, making him instantly snaps out of it, quickly bending down to help her pick you up. ”Bring her this way!” Tommy yells as Rae and Joel carry you. Tommy leads you guys to an empty house next door, where they place you on the couch. “ Tommy can you get a wet rag please,” Rae says, bending down to move your hair out your face. “ How often does this happen,” Joel says, looking down at you. “Too often,” Rae says, pulling off your shoes and placing them on the floor. “ Is something wrong with her?” Joel asks, worry bubbling in his gut. “We don’t know-thanks” Rae answers, taking the rag from Tommy and placing it on your head.

Joel watches Rae's every move, the resemblance is uncanny. He wonders if it’s just his old mind playing tricks on him, making him see similarities that aren’t really there. “ How old are you?,” Joel asks this question would confirm or deny his beliefs. “ Seventeen” Rae replies, not looking up from you. A part of Joel hopped for a different answer, Tommy looks at Rae confused. She says nothing, giving Tommy a look that tells him to shut up.

“Can you watch her?” Rae asks, looking at Joel “yeah I-” she cuts him off

“-Good, Tommy can I speak to you for a second?” Rae asks, gesturing for Tommy to come with Her into the room down the hall. Rae hurries him into the room, closing the door and lowering her voice before speaking “what the fuck is going on” Rae asks confusion and anger lacing her voice.

Tommy looks like he’s about to speak, but he doesn’t say anything. “ First it was he died with you when the plane crashed, it was hard, but after a while, mom accepted that. But then…you came here, we find out you and him survived minus Sarah ok… she was hurt but still had hope of seeing Him, then you tell her that he’s not coming here for some reason, Now he's here?” Rae says, her words coming out a mile a minute. “ Look I found out around the same time you did, I only found out earlier today. I had no idea he was coming,” Tommy says, trying to calm down your upcoming tangent.

~~~~

Nervous to get close, Joel watches your breath rise and fall from the corner of the room. Your eyes flutter open after a while, and You look around confused, taking the wet rag off your head. Your eyes land on Joel in the corner of the room, and you quickly sit up. You both don’t say anything, waiting for the other to go first. “Hi” you speak first, your voice barely above a whisper. “Hi,” Joel says, awkwardly, walking slightly closer, you really missed the sound of his voice. Your eyes start to blur, your feelings start to overwhelm your body. “I missed you so much” you sob, holding out your arms. Joel is beside you in a second, your arms around him in an embrace, you don't say anything else, crying into his shoulder, at the same time, taking in the smell of him that you missed so much.

“I know, I know” You hear Joel whisper, letting out quite a sob into your shirt. When you finally have the strength to pry yourself from the corner of Joel's shoulder, you look up at him with tear-filled eyes. He looks back at you with the same, you kiss him, savoring the feeling of his lips against yours. Something in the back of your head wondered if maybe he had a wife now or a kid, and you were overstepping by kissing him. But you didn't care, you didn’t care about the repercussions, only that you were with him at this moment.

~~~~

“What about the radio you told me about, he didn’t tell you he was coming on there?” Rae asks, trying to make sense of the situation. Tommy sighs, wiping his face with his hands. “ You know the rules Rae” Rae’s whole demeanor, changes at his word.“Tommy are you fucking kidding me… You didn't tell him I exist, or that my mom was alive because MARIA TOLD YOU TO STAY OFF THE FUCKING RADIO?” Rae says her vision starting to blur. She quickly calms herself down, wiping away the tears that were trying to form from anger. “Do you know how Fucking hard it’s been these last couple of months, MY MOTHER IS A SHELL OF HERSELF TOMMY, she spends every minute of the day thinking about the past, do you know how long it took her to finally accept that you guys were all dead? Just to find out that you’re not dead, but she can't see Joel again”.

Tommy doesn’t say anything, your words making him rethink his previous decisions. “Some fucking uncle you are” Rae mumbles before walking out of the room, leaving Tommy alone with his thoughts.

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