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im-not-samantha-im-samanta · 6 months

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Hiii! Could you please write some hcs for Loona from Helluva Boss with a succubus gf that's asexual and often feels like there's something wrong with her/an outsider with her "crowd", as succubus/incubus culture practically surrounds all things related to sex?

Hello, nonny! Welcome here! ^^

As for your request, yes! You can definitely get such hcs! ^^ Actually, I was overjoyed to see your request, as a fellow ace I really appreciate it!! <3

You can probably tell how much I enjoyed writing these judging by how long these imagines are ^^".

I also started it off as general headcanons before getting to the part of Reader feeling like an outcast, hope that's okay. <3

Anyways, thank you for your request, nonny! I really enjoyed it! Hope you'll enjoy reading these! <3

🐾🌒 // Loona having an asexual succubus girlfriend // 🌘🐾

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Type: Imagines

Settings: Romantic

Genre: Mostly fluff, a bit of hurt/comfort included just like asked,

!TRIGGER WARNING!: Typical Helluva boss mentions, light mentions of acephobia from other 'cubus demons, light mentions of sex related things, brief mentions of drinking alcohol, mentions of smoking cigarettes, mentions of food and its consumption, talks about feeling insecure about your sexuality due to cultural beliefs, mentions of feeling of not belonging, that should be all!

Sidenote: I didn't want to keep on writing "succubus/incubus" so I improvised and used "'cubus" as a gender neutral term,

Sidenote: Reader is written as a female as asked in the request

That should be all,

Enjoy <3

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Being an asexual and a succubus don't necessarily go together,

but that doesn't mean it can't happen!

Sure, it seems like it's not often a Succubus or an Incubus fall under the ace umbrella,

but it definitely happens here and there,

People just aren't that aware of it as it seems like something impossible,

(Plus I firmly believe many ace Succubi and Incubi are closeted or in denial because they're ashamed of themselves since the 'cubus culture is so dedicated to sex related things),

So yeah,

Not many people are aware a 'cubus can be on the asexual spectrum,

Loona wasn't aware either,

And neither was Blitzø,

Why am I mentioning Blitzø?

Because the moment you showed interest in Loona,

my man immediately went to protective dad mode,

The public doesn't have that positive views on Succubi/Incubi,

and Blitzø himself doesn't have that good experience with them,

So, the moment you seemed to take an interest in Loona,

Blitzø went for his gun,

(Metaphorically? Literally? Who knows? It's Blitzø),

And Loona herself was a little unsure of being the focus of a succubus' attention,

because from what she knew,

succubi and incubi really liked to see people as mere sexual objects,

And mind you, Loona liked to be viewed as hot,

but she didn't like being sexualized,

something succubi and incubi liked to do with people,

But then you timidly explained how you're asexual,

and how you're not interested in Loona sexually but rather romantically,

Cue to two shocked faces,

And while Blitzø doesn't fully buy it,

Loona is pretty flustered because people usually just drool over her body,

but you actually want her for her?

This never happened to her before!

Long story short,

the two of you ended up going on a date and eventually became a couple!

With Blitzø's approval after you've proven to actually like Loona for Loona,

and not just her body,

But he's still watching your every move,

waiting for any wrong move-

Anyways!

Loona adores you,

and she really tries to not let it show,

but everyone can easily tell how much she adores you,

She just finds it so odd yet endearing that you're not interested in her sexually,

like the fact you look at her and don't have the desire to ...y'know...

and instead you just admire how pretty she is,

and you tell her how hot you find her in an ace way,

She finds it so endearing and so wholesome,

This whole thing is also a brand new territory for Loona,

completely new experience,

so she can get a little awkward and timid at times,

but it's very cute,

And before the two of you got together,

Loona seriously asked you about boundaries,

Loona knows quite enough things about the LGBTQIA+,

but still, after your first date going well,

she went to the net and searched some stuff on asexuality,

And when she was sure she liked you,

the next time you two met up, she wanted to know details,

Where are you on the ace spectrum? Are you sex repulsed? Are you comfortable with physical affection?

She asked so many questions,

She didn't want to miss any important information,

cuz she didn't want to end up overstepping boundaries and making you uncomfortable, <3

She's also an indirect supporter,

Which means,

she acts really indifferent but secretly does things to show she cares and you have her support,

So, for example,

she'll gift you something with your asexual flag with the words:

"I randomly saw that on the net and thought you might like it or whatever, so, I got it for ya"

She says that, but she actually deliberately searches for such things online,

She also has your flag pinned on the wall above her bed,

so that whenever you come visit you know you're accepted there, <3

Also bullies asks the others to have some asexual merch on them during Asexual awareness week,

And if you're not present during that, Loona sends you a photo of the team with the ace merch,

And with the caption:

"Look at them bootlickers, brown nosing so bad for your approval, smh. Happy awareness week tho :) <3"

No, she doesn't tell you it was her doing,

Also, speaking of merch,

Loona encourages you to wear your flag and be open about your sexuality,

But she doesn't push you into expressing yourself if you're not ready,

or if it makes you uncomfortable,

She understands that being a succubus on the ace spectrum sucks,

because there's so much stigma in the 'cubus community against ace 'cubi,

Still though,

If you're open about being ace Succubus,

you can notice that the other succubi/incubi don't dare harass you as much ever since getting with Loona,

Maybe it's because having a goth Hellhound by your side scares everyone off,

or maybe it's because of the many times Loona almost bit off the heads off your harasser's necks,

and got you kicked out of many public spaces,

not to mention a few of Loona's justice assaults have been going around the internet...

Yeah, other succubi/incubi rarely have any acephobic remarks nowadays,

Though here and there assholes like that still appear,

Loona can protect you from them though,

but what she can't really protect you from are your doubts,

She can't really scare away your feelings of there being something wrong with you because you're a succubus but also an asexual,

She can't scare away those feeling of being an outcast in your own species,

She can't scare away those feelings of not connecting to your own culture,

She wished she could scare those doubts away,

but she can't,

So she has to settle for a different approach,

One of the things Loona does to make you feel better is digging through your culture,

digging through your culture and finding non-sexual aspects you can celebrate and connect with,

And she puts great emphasis on the fact you can appreciate your own culture even if you don't connect to some aspects of it,

"Hey, every culture has some bullshit things that suck about them, and just because there are some aspects you don't connect with doesn't mean you can't appreciate your own culture or that you're not a valid part of it"

Loona also encourages you to join groups, whether that be in real life or online, of Succubi/Incubi who are also asexual,

There definitely are some support groups of that sorts,

Just gotta do search hard,

And Loona definitely can do that,

And if you happen to meet the other ace 'cubi in real life,

Loona is there to support you,

And she's also there as a protector,

Nobody would dare harass a group of asexual 'cubi with a goth Hellhound around,

And if we're talking about Loona after Beelzebub's party,

She definitely asks her new friends to accompany y'all,

After all, who would dare harass you all with a pack of scary hellhounds around?

Another thing Loona does to support you when you feel down is being your shoulder to cry on,

It may not sound like much,

but it's really a valuable way to help,

Loona lets you vent and cry as much as you need,

She doesn't judge you in any way, and she patiently listens to all you're holding in your chest,

And, when you vent, she accommodates to your preferences,

If you need physical closeness, she'll hold you for as long as you need like there's no tomorrow,

If you just need for her to hear you out, she'll keep quiet and just let you talk,

If you need some input from her, she'll comment on what you're saying,

though she may not always have an advice or answer,

she still tries to always say something back if you need that,

Or if you just want to sit in silence but need her to be physically present, she will stay,

She will keep you company for as long as you want, even if you just want for each of you to do your own activity,

And she'll cuss out anyone who tries to disturb you in these moments,

During those silent moments she'll often glance your way though,

just to make sure you're alright,

But she'll also distract you if that's your preferred way of being comforted,

She has many silly videos to share and laugh at,

so many songs to listen to and vibe with,

or even movies or tv series to binge watch,

you decide,

and she'll provide some nice drinks and snacks too,

she'll even give you a cigarette if you're a smoker,

or an alcoholic drink if you're a drinker,

However, she won't let you overdo it,

she won't let you smoke a whole pack of cigarettes in one sitting because you're unwell,

and she won't let you drink away your sorrows and get wasted,

No, she'll keep you in check,

she loves you too much to let you indulge in self destructive, addictive behaviors,

And same for food,

If you're an emotional eater, she will make sure you don't eat to the point you get sick and throw up,

but also if you're the person who refuses to eat when dealing with bad emotions,

she won't let you starve yourself,

she'll have you eat at least a little snack,

Also in terms of distractions,

Loona can talk your ears off if you need that,

She isn't that much of a talker,

but she still has a lot to share, personal stories, opinions, passions, random thoughts,

She'll talk about whatever and for as long as you want,

Also, words of affirmation,

If you need those, Loona will shower you in those,

Loona isn't all that good with expressing her feelings,

she's quite awkward and uneasy about it,

But she'll try her best to reassure you you're valid,

and that she loves you just the way you are,

No "but"s or "in spite of"s,

And she'll sympathize with you,

even if she can't fully understand your experience as she's not a succubus nor an asexual,

But she's supportive and feels for you,

and she's there for you,

that's what matters,

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#frenklinesamuelsworks #frenklinesamuelsask #frenklinesamuelsrequests #helluva boss x reader #helluva boss loona x reader #loona x reader #helluva boss loona imagines #helluva boss imagines #asexual #asexual pride #helluva boss x asexual reader #helluva boss x yn #helluva boss x you

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deusvervewrites · 6 months

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Escaping Gravity AU: How different was the Mall Trip?

Uraraka's repeated Noumu takedowns at both the USJ and in Hosu have made her Shigaraki's most hated member of 1-A, with Midoriya "smash" Izuku in second.

However, unlike in canon, when Aoyama asked if she has a crush on Midoriya in the finals, she brushed it off because she is definitely, totally only hanging around him because he is her friend and can protect her from All For One and no other reasons.

While she still gets embarrassed about it at the mall, she doesn't run off to leave Midoriya alone over it, both because she's stressed herself into super-denial and because she's worried about being in public without protection, something she's gotten used to since enrolling at UA.

As such, Shigaraki approaches them both since they're alone together and he has two hands. And Uraraka freaks the fuck out. She thinks he knows who she is or who Midoriya is or both and is here to take them to All For One.

The more I think about this, the more I want Midoriya to figure out that Uraraka has All For One during this confrontation as she completely blacks out and goes on autopilot Do Not Get Caught mode. Which probably means she took Decay.

I did say I was looking for a way for AFO to realize who she was...

Also this means that in the aftermath, Midoriya can ask if she gave him Hyper Regeneration and Shock Absorption, and then thank her for it.

#asks #escaping gravity au

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tsukuyomii45 · 7 months

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oooo, may i hear your adult Rin warlord Obito headcanon? p.s. really glad you are back! <3

Yes you definitely may hear it! Buckle up! This is A VERY LONG, angsty ride, and a lot of it is canon compliant and will be sticking to Naruto themes so that things can remain in-character and hopefully makes you feel like you're watching the show, but I'll keep what we already know and saw short so I can get straight to the point:

-Every event that took place in Naruto, including Obito's descent to darkness, takes place - except that Rin lives and grows up, while Obito is just too far gone and no longer really cares for the world anymore and already has a broken mind.

-So while Obito is developing the Akatsuki, Rin is enhancing her powers as the Sanbi's Jinchuuriki, and Obito maintains his hidden identity as Tobi and Rin never figures out who he is until the start of the 4th Shinobi World War.

-Mask reveal happens, and Rin is horrified and shocked that the masked man this whole time, the one that was the catalyst to many of the destructive events, was the very best friend she thought she lost in Kannabi. So naturally, Rin would go through so many different emotions; horror, confusion, denial, joy and heartbreak all at the same time.

-She at first expresses how happy she is to see him, and then would say that there is no way that he'd do everything he did, and there has to be someone that made him. She'd then watch Kakashi and Obito interact and listen to the way Obito taunts him, and she couldn't believe the words she was hearing out of his mouth, words expressing that he didn't care for this world and had one goal, etc.

-She would then tearfully remind Obito that his one goal was to become the Hokage, but Obito would coldly tell her, "That boy is dead." Rin argues back, saying that he'd never die in her eyes, but Obito silences her by launching a large shuriken from his Kamui dimension (but he purposefully misses hitting her, which hints that he doesn't want to hurt her), just to show her that he "doesn't care" about her words.

-Of course, Naruto's yelling draws Kakashi and Rin's attention back to him and the war, then Madara shows up and Rin has to watch Obito standing with the enemy trying to control the Juubi. Rin is frozen in shock, to the point where even Isobu tries to shake her back to her senses in order to focus and to put her emotions on the side. Rin becomes more convinced that Madara had everything to do with this. As soon as Naruto, Gai, and Kakashi get injured by a few attacks, and Killer B is already growing tired of using Gyuuki, Rin snaps back to her senses and utilizes her Tailed Beast Mode, and rushes to heal them with Isobu's chakra.

-Madara taunts Obito by asking if he purposely forgot to extract her Tailed Beast because he still held love for her, to which Obito scoffs and says that Yagura's Tailed Beast (Isobu's other half) is more than enough. Of course, Madara doubts his words and has a plan of his own given that Obito is already doing as he pleases.

-Fast forward to the Alliance showing up, and Rin forces herself to see Obito as an imposter, not the person she knew, and no longer hesitates to throw her own attacks at him, much to his shock. He remains on the defensive, however, using his Kamui to make her attacks pass through. Rin angrily tells him that she already knows the trick to his jutsu thanks to Kakashi, and while this riles up Obito, he didn't have the time to react or respond since Kakashi shows up in an attempt to protect Rin.

-When Kakashi tries to teleport Juubi's head and sever it off with his Kamui, Obito steps in to stop him, but then Rin uses her tail to grab Kakashi away and gets sucked into the Kamui dimension first. Here, she exhausts her Tailed Beast Chakra and is back to her standard shinobi alliance uniform, which is quite tattered and torn up.

-He starts to talk to her about the day he found her with Kakashi's hand pierced right through her heart. He tells her all of the things he saw in this world. Rin listens intently as she remains cautious, but then as she looked into Obito's eyes, she could easily see how much turmoil he's been through. The scars on his face is a grim reminder that it is him, he's not an imposter.

-She tries to bargain with him again, telling him that she just wants to understand what happened to him. She wants to know why he's doing all of this, and if he knew that she was still alive, why didn't he allow her to be by his side all of this time?

-Obito starts to approach her and Rin tenses up, feeling vulnerable as she can no longer anticipate his next words and movements. He then stands close enough to her, then he wraps an arm around her waist and draws her to him, tightly pressing her against him while he lifts up her chin with his other hand to make her face him fully. He whispers to her softly, asking, "Do you hate me?" Rin shakily answers, "No...I can't hate you..." Obito then asks, "Are you afraid of me?" Rin would then respond, "I don't want to be." Obito would then respond, "You should be."

-He brushes his thumb over her pink lips, his eyes in a daze. He expresses how much he loved her, and what could've been if things were different. Rin swallows and says, "I know you're still in there. The Obito that I always knew. The Obito that I always stood by. The Obito whose dream was to become a Hokage." Tears start to slowly flow down her cheeks as she says, "Despite all of this, I still believe in you.."

-Obito tells her that he's right here, standing before her, and holding her closely like he always dreamed of doing for so long. But because he's a manipulative cunt (we're talking about black-haired bad boy Obito here), he guilts her by saying that if she really wants the old Obito back, he could make it happen. All she has to do is to be by his side like she always did before. He guilts her by saying that if she really loved and missed her old friend, she would stop at no end to bring him back.

!!!!! TW: Mental Issues !!!!

-Rin however, knows better. She pulls herself away from Obito and sternly tells him that he is not the Obito that she wants to stand by. She says, "The Obito that I want to watch over is the one who will become the Hokage!" And this shocks Obito to his core of course, and Rin then witnesses a sudden change in his movements. Obito starts hallucinating his old self, and the voice of his old self saying, "I will become a Hokage!" starts ringing all over.

-Obito grips at his head and screams for the voices to shut up. Rin immediately grows concerned for him and rushes to him, prying his hand off then holding his face so he could look at her, attempting to ground him. Obito stares at her for a little, and sees flashing images of Rin's younger self, then his younger self, hearing cheerful laughter and fragments of the things they used to say to each other, such as Rin saying, "I'm always watching you!". Then he sees an image of her face when Kakashi pierced her with his Chidori, and Madara's voice ringing, talking to him about the realities of the world.

-He starts hyperventilating, and then he pushes Rin off of him, shocking her as he tells her to get away. He focuses his Mangekyou so that he can teleport her out of the Kamui dimension, and he's once again alone. He spends some time to gather himself, and just as he does so, Kakashi shows up. Here, the talking and the battle between them in the Kamui dimension takes place.

-Fast forward to Obito being severely injured by Kakashi, and Madara extracting the chakra rods out of him. Then we get to hear his iconic raging scream when he tries to shake off Madara's manipulation, and Rin, who has finally recharged her Tailed Beast chakra, rushes towards him so she could stop the resurrection along with Naruto and Sasuke. She ends up watching Minato slash him before she could even reach.

-She couldn't register what happen, and the next thing she knew, Obito absorbs the Ten-Tails and becomes the Ten-Tail's Jinchuuriki. As she watches turn into the monstrosity that he is, all she could do is whisper, "Obito... what have you done..." And the whole battle between Obito and Naruto + Sasuke ensues and so does everything else in the show, while Rin turns her focus onto healing and buffing up the alliance since Juubito did a number on them.

-Rin eventually supports Naruto and the alliance who were empowered by Minato and Naruto's Nine-Tails chakra to extract the Ten-Tails from Obito. Here the whole talk-no-jutsu scene plays out xD and as Rin uses Isobu's powers and tails to pull Yagura's Isobu and merge it with her own, she becomes more determined to bring back the Obito she once knew.

-Obito collapses (and we now get our white-haired DILF into the scene), and while Sasuke rushes to kill him, with Naruto chasing after him, and Kakashi teleporting out of nowhere with the attempt to slash a kunai, Rin shoots a coral spike at Kakashi's kunai to stop him just as Minato rushes to hold back his arm, and summons a trail of coral spikes to block Sasuke's path.

-All attention is drawn on Rin, who stares at Obito with a serious and firm look as warm, silent tears stream down her eyes. Obito watches in anticipation as she approaches him, her chakra mode dissipating for a temporary moment, and she begins to speak. Rin says, "For the longest time, I felt like I existed so that I can take away people's pain, because I too, knew of the cruelty of this world. It's this world's cruelty that lead to you and I making a promise to one another."

- She then settles on her knees next to his paralyzed body, and caresses his scarred cheek with a sad smile on her face, reassuring him that no matter what and after everything that happened, she bears no hatred or resentment towards him, only that her she is heartbroken because he had to endure so much and she hates that she couldn't take away his pain.

-So, tears are shed and it becomes a very emotional moment, and Kakashi talks to Obito about Naruto's path of life, making Obito finally see that Naruto's way is the right way (again, we're complying with canon), and then just as he decides to use Rinne Tensei, Black Zetsu stops him - and that whole scene where Madara gets resurrected is played here.

-Fast forward to everyone trying to fight off a shirtless and insane Madara, and Obito struggles to remain conscious while shaking off Black Zetsu's manipulation. Rin steps in here to help Obito by using her Tailed Beast chakra to heal him and provide him some sense of movement since he's merely alive thanks to the husk of the 10-Tails sealed inside him.

-Obito gains consciousness and Black Zetsu escapes somewhere, but steals Obito's Rinnegan along the way, and this is where shit hits the fan: Madara is now fully powerful, but before he could even extract the husk of the 10-Tails, everyone attempts to fight him off, including Obito, who falls into a hand-to-hand combat with him and tries to use his Kamui as an advantage. Kakashi and Naruto try to fight as well, but because Madara is Madara, they all fail, and Madara chokes Obito and then sinisterly says that he's going to fully punish him for his betrayal.

-Madara extracts the husk at last, and throws Obito towards Kakashi, and now every Tailed Beast is in danger, including Rin and Naruto. The Tailed Beasts get chained up and sucked into the husk, and Rin, who knows all too well that Naruto's powers are essential for the war, fights against the chains transforming into Isobu and parrying away the chain that is after the Kyuubi.

-Unfortunately, Rin fails... as the chain fully wraps around Isobu's neck, including the Kyuubi. In her subconscious, Rin fights against the strong pull, but she knows she is losing her strength and that the worst is about to happen. As Isobu is drawing further and further away, she leaves her last words to her Bijuu: "Be free!"

-Isobu is extracted and sealed in the husk, along with all other Tailed Beast. We all know what this means! Naruto falls and is captured by Gaara's sand. Rin falls and hits the ground, snapping the attention of Obito and Kakashi towards her. Out of nowhere, Obito finds the strength to move and dash towards her, while Kakashi just stands in utter shock.

-Obito urgently and shakily holds Rin to him (like he did when he found her corpse), and asks her to stay with him and that he'll get help. His Sharingan registers that her heartbeat is slowing down, and he starts to panic and tremble, willing his mind to block out the feeling of dejavu that was about to consume him. Rin looks up at him, trying to remain conscious as she makes him promise that he'll save Naruto. He promises that he'll save him, and begs her to stay alive.

-Rin's breathing grows shallow as she utters more of her final words, and she says with a weak, but relieved smile, "I always knew that your pure heart remained steadfast. I never stopped believing in you." She then tells him that she's sorry she couldn't do more, and she's sorry that the world has beaten him down to the person he became. And then she tells him one thing that completely breaks him: "More than anything... I'm just happy that I saw you again."

-Regret, guilt and anguish consumes Obito as he tearfully responds with heavy pain in his voice while tightly gripping her hands : "You are the only person that I've ever cared for and loved so endlessly... and yet I... I couldn't save you...!" Rin would warmly respond, "You're here now. That's more than enough for me."

-Rin would then lastly say that she will always be watching him and would live on in his heart, and then her eyes slowly starts to close... her hand would loosen up in the hold of his hand, indicating that her final breath has finally been released, and she peacefully dies in his arms (again).

Long, but yeah. Angst. :3

#naruto shippuden #obito uchiha #rin nohara #uchiha obito #obirin #obito x rin #infinite dream #kakashi hatake #naruto uzumaki #war arc #fourth shinobi world war #headcanon

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thebreakfastgenie · 2 years

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☕ Toby's end arc

hmm? what arc? what are you talking about? isn't it weird how he just stopped getting storylines?

okay denial mode temporarily deactivated

There are. No words. For how much I fucking hate that arc. My relationship with this show (which I should have mentioned when I got that ask the other day) is I delusionally believe I could have done it better even though I was literally in elementary school when it ended so when it comes to the last three seasons the stuff I don't like I tend to sort of... de-emphasize. I acknowledge it happened but sort of gloss over it into my Santos administration headcanons that make me happy. The one single thing that simply does not exist in my brain and just never happened is Toby's goddamn arc.

Let's start from the beginning. I hate the entire concept. The ISS thing is stupid. One of the strengths of The West Wing, early on, was how grounded it was, and most of Sorkin's storylines were based with varying degrees of directness on real events. He said he was getting a lot his stories from page 5 of the newspaper (although some of them were headlines, just a few years old) and I guess John Wells and company either didn't notice or didn't care, because they did a lot more... wild stuff. The ISS thing is just... so television. And a secret military space shuttle?? Even if that's real, I don't find it believable on television. If they wanted to do a space crisis they should have just had a shuttle lost (nice parallel to the s1 finale btw!), but I guess maybe Columbia was recent enough (2003) that it felt wrong. I noticed the artificially inflated TV drama stakes when it's completely unnecessary in ER too so I think it's a John Wells thing and I hate it.

Then there's the leak and the whole mystery of it which again... just feels tonally wrong for the show. They did leak storylines in the earlier seasons that were good! The later season' obsession with pitting the characters against each other sucks and it's why I'm lukewarm on them! Anyway!

I don't know if they planned it as Toby from the beginning, but CJ was definitely planned as a red herring. The entire thing was designed for cheap shock value and it's terrible. I don't care how grieving Toby was, he would never, ever do that. They already butchered Toby's character by making him a deadbeat dad and the whole fight with Josh and man I watched a clip the other day of Vinick accepting the nomination and Toby's reaction to it was so bad... it felt like someone trying to write Toby based on the stereotypes of him without understanding the nuances of the character. Toby at his core is depressed because he's an idealist and the world constantly disappoints him. Late seasons Toby sometimes just sounds vindictive and mean. Anyway!!! It sucked!!!!!!!

The only way I can imagine it would be worse was if it actually was CJ, so I hate that one of the popular "fixes" is saying Toby took the fall for her. The only way I can rationalize it in my mind is that Toby did take the fall: for his sister-in-law. It's conceivable (at least, on the level of this goddamn nonsense storyline) that David would have known about the military shuttle and told his wife, maybe to reassure her. Heck, we don't know what she does, maybe she has a background in space travel too and knows about it! She and David had kids who had just lost their father; Toby took the fall because his kids will still have one parent if he goes to jail.

I like that Toby ends up out of the election cycle but helping Josh behind the scenes and I actually love that he's teaching in the flash forward. And by the way, there's actually no way in hell they planned the ending to the leak storyline ahead of time because everyone is on good terms with Bartlet in that flash forward!! God!!!!!!

It's just such bad writing. I'm so annoyed about it.

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anxresi · 3 years

Text

I could line my wall with all the posts Thomas has made about Chloe tonight. (around 50, by my count)

If you wanna read them, don’t bother.

I certainly won’t be sharing any of them

What would be the point?

Because basically, they amount to one thing...

Chloe is bad, and we’re bad people for liking her.

That’s it.

And for anyone thinking that he kids around a lot with his comments...

I’m pretty sure this is something he feels VERY strongly about.

Or he wouldn’t expand so much energy in constantly talking her down.

So no, I don’t think we’re going to get a Chloe redemption.

No, I don’t think she’ll be Queen Bee again.

No, I can’t see any real change in her behavior.

She’ll just remain the same ol’ hatable Chloe, the ‘evil’ girl that young kids apparently ‘get’ that adults don’t understand...

Yep, apparently we’re ‘dumb’ for wanting her to improve and develop!

To provide a good example for bullies out there that they can be more than just abusers all their lives!

Children couldn’t possibly grasp the delicate subtleties of self-improvement as you grow up!

It’s all so clear now!

Stupid us!

Also, her merchandise doesn’t sell very well.

Another good case for her staying as a villain, I guess.

And she’s compared to a monster and a domestic abuser.

This damaged teenage girl.

Yeah, sounds about right.

And all those tender moments where she showed empathy and love were just ‘fake outs’ all along.

Makes total sense!

And anyone who wanted more from her is just ‘delusional’ and is ‘writing the show in their head’.

Exactly!

Except...

That’s not the way it seemed on screen at all.

When she hugged Miss Bustier

Or had a heart-to-heart with Ladybug

When she risked her life as Queen Bee

Showed genuine concern for Adrien

When she finally appreciated Jean-something

And shared moments of friendship with Sabrina

These did NOT come across as part of an elaborate plot twist

From a show which isn’t exactly known for its complex writing.

They seemed to form part of a ladder...

Which would inevitably climb to a true character shift.

Where this flawed teenage girl could take a long, hard look at her life.

And realize she didn’t HAVE to be like her awful mother.

Or as power-hungry as her father.

She could learn lessons from her favorite superhero Ladybug...

Become a better person...

And an even greater superhero.

She could still keep her sassy attitude.

Just be a bit kinder and selfless, that’s all.

But, nope.

EVERY bit of niceness we witnessed on screen...

None of it was real.

It was all influenced by ‘class’.

Even her childhood friendship with Adrien was nothing.

If he was as poor as the rest of his classmates, she would’ve bullied him too.

Straight from Thomas’s own mouth.

One of the best relationships in the show, gone just. Like. THAT.

He also said to ‘redeem’ her at this stage would be too ‘unconvincing’?

ORLY?

I hate to return to critical mode...

But the show ain’t exactly known for its consistent writing.

One minute Marinette is confident around Adrien...

Next she’s a nervous jumble of words.

It sets up two new ships for Mari and Adrien with great fanfare...

Only to ditch them both two eps later.

(Also, what the **** did they plan to do with Lila?!)

In other words, this isn’t a show that plays the long game

Whether this is to satisfy the networks’ demand to air the eps out of order idk.

The point is that trying to tell us that Chloe’s ‘arc’ was some grand scheme...

Where she’d have a few sympathetic moments only to emerge worst than ever afterwards....

I simply don’t believe it.

Either this is terrible, amateurish writing of the worst kind...

Or Thomas flexed his influence behind the scenes...

And put an abrupt end to Chloe’s development before it really got started.

It doesn’t really matter which reason I guess.

What DOES matter is this petty and spiteful man sees fit to bash her in around 70% of his online interactions right now.

He could just ignore the posts but nope, he goes right in there, full throttle.

You can just tell how smart he is with his intimate psychological breakdowns of why Chloe is the way she is...

When we all know the actual reason... he just couldn’t be bothered.

Far better to create a whole new character, give her none of the depths that could make a developed Chloe such a pain to write...

And then 'reward’ her with the position of Queen Bee, for being super-sweet and as shallow as a puddle.

And oops, make her Chloe’s half-sister or whatever to further rub salt in Chloe stans’ wounds.

Is the show even gonna tackle the angst that would arise from Mayor Andre discovering his beloved wife had an affair?

Or Chloe discovering her much-loved mother is in fact a cheat?

What about coping with the SHOCK revelation that she... GASP... has a long-lost sister?

Forget it. All that rich potential for human emotions sounds B O R I N G.

Don’t forget that if there’s a major event in this show that doesn’t include the words ‘Love Square’, the makers just don’t care.

Let’s cut straight to a giant golden Zoe (who now looks like a giant golden Chloe) trying to smoosh her now much smaller sister...

While Chloe pushes Marinette and her parents towards the beast to save herself.

Because of course she does.

Never misses a trick to make Chloe look bad, does Thomas.

It’s a skill you can tell he’s very proud of.

Anyway, back to Zoe...

Despite my harsh words above, I harbor no ill-will towards you.

Your design is decent and you seem like a stand-up gal.

But I hate to say this...

You shouldn’t exist.

It was completely unnecessary from a storytelling POV to create a sibling for Chloe, and your mere presence will diminish the show.

I can say this with utmost confidence after looking at the situation from every conceivable angle...

Without even needing to watch your eps or know why you were created.

(Although, I have a pretty good idea)

Some people might say WELL GIVE HER A CHANCE!!!!

Hmm... no.

Everything the show needs to be successful with Chloe’s character...

It’s already right there.

She does not need a secret sibling

She does not require a sweeter counterpart

And she definitely DOESN’T need Thomas constantly bashing her to impressionable fans online like she’s the Antichrist personified!

Seriously dude, if you hate her so much why bother creating her?

And if you hate her so much... why spend so long talking about her?

Despite his repeated denials, I think something another user here said is very true...

She DOES live ‘rent free’ in his head.

It sickens him that, despite his best efforts, she still has so many fans.

Not to worry, Thomas.

From what I see, there are still plenty of sycophants who agree with everything you say (even if they actually don’t)

After all, it’s enough for some to get a reply from the ‘great man’ himself

Why jeopardize that by trying to engage with him in a meaningful debate?

Especially when we know how handsy he is with the ‘block’ button.

Anyway, this went on for about a thousand more words than I meant it to.

I guess me and Thomas have just ONE thing in common (Thank God)

This is a topic which we both feel VERY strongly about.

The differently is of course, I have far less power in the process, and preach to a much smaller audience.

Still, I won’t let that stop me ranting away like a loon.

Hey, if it’s good enough for him... ;)

#miraculous ladybug #chloe bourgeois #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #adrien agreste #ml salt #ml rants #lila rossi

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t3tsubaby · 3 years

Note

Well idk if you're still bored in class (or not) then can I ask headcanon college au! (I'm not suprised if there are fangirls in college) of Oikawa meets a fem! S/O that is cold and emotionless? Oh and she could be also harsh if you meet her for the first time. Oikawa tries to flirt and charm her. And when he compliments her she just said "thanks" In a emotionless cold tone and walks away. How would he react that? But her true personality behind doors is unsure of her feelings and finds it difficult to deal with it.

I’m definitely totally not basing this off of my personality at all but this is such a good request tysm!! Also sorry this took so long I had some exams.

Oikawa meeting a cold fem! S/O

Genre: fluff? I think? very cute tho

Word Count: 1.1k

We all know Oikawa grew up with a “coldhearted” best friend Iwa who was and is the definition of tough love

By this, despite everything, Iwaizumi always cared for him, no matter how aggressive he seemed to be

Now despite all of what I just said, I think Oikawa would be kinda shocked that there’s a woman who isn’t charmed by him

There was that one instance that Kiyoko ignored him and he went in full denial mode, so I kinda feel like he would be like this but 10x worse

So you’re both in college and you’re looking to sign up for some clubs and you see that the volleyball team needs a manager

You thought it would be simple and you could not only make friends at your school but you could also make friends with people from other schools at games

You’ve always been called coldhearted and somewhat emotionless and you knew that university was the prime time to make lifelong friends

You considered it a win-win situation

That was of course until Oikawa popped up behind you, all bubbly and flirty(let’s pretend covid doesn’t exist)

He would lowkey kabedon you but just one arm at your side so it’s less creepy considering he’s literally a stranger at this point

“Ah what’re you looking at? Are you looking to be our manager? Now I can play volleyball and look at a pretty girl,” he said with a grin

You moved out of the kabedon and said a quick “Thanks” not smiling and walked away with the application sheet in your hand

Too stunned, Oikawa just stared at your shrinking figure walking away

Okay time skip to when you’re starting to be a manager and learning the ropes of the game

(For the story’s sake let’s pretend that all the Aoba Johsai boys are also on the same college team)

The team teaches you the basic rules, positions, and anything else you need to learn, you are taught by the coach or the internet

You have a journal and a section is dedicated to each player, which you’re able to easily analyze and figure out strengths and weaknesses

And the team absolutely adores you for this

They buy you snacks and do homework with you

And throughout all of this Oikawa’s flirting never stops

And you continue to give no response or a one-worded reply

Oikawa even goes to the lengths of asking his friends how to get you to talk to him

Iwaizumi tells him “Stop bothering her and focus on practice and not hurting your knee,” while dragging him back to the court

The rest of the team agrees and you continue on your managerial duties

You’ve already noticed his knee injury and make sure to keep an eye out for him secretly to make sure he isn’t overworking

Okay so now let’s fast forward to a game

The team is very protective of you because everyone tries to flirt with you because you’re that pretty

You all walk into the gym and are faced with the other team

The boys go ahead and start warmups and you’re approached by the captain of the other team, who just so happens to be your cousin!

You guys start talking and you’re laughing and enjoying speaking to him as the rest of the team stares in shock

Emphasis on kawa because his jaw is actually on the floor

He comes up and grabs your wrist and pulls you a foot away

“Nobody takes my y/n, go back onto your own turf,” and he sticks his tongue out

Before you get a chance to explain he pulls you to the bench where the coach is and sits you down

“Nice and safe now right y/n. I saved the day, for that, I deserve maybe a kiss on the cheek?” he asked with a subtle wink

“No. Go back to warm up, the team is waiting. If I see that your knee is hurting, I’ll bench you for the entire game,” you replied, not even batting an eye at his question.

“Can I get a kiss if I play the whole game without hurting my kn-”

“No. Goodbye,” you shooed him off.

During the game, Oikawa felt his knee feel weak as it pulsated and throbbed but decided to keep his mouth shut and make sure he didn’t show any pain on his face.

The game ended with you guys winning and you all decided to go celebrate with some shave ice

You thanked the other team and said goodbye to your cousin, expecting Oikawa to drag you away but to your surprise, he wasn’t there, nor was he even in the gym

You told the rest of the boys to wait outside and decided to look for Oikawa

After walking around for a bit you noticed a barely lit hallway and saw him curled up into a ball against the wall, crying with his head on his unhurt knee and the other one sticking out

With a closer look, you could see the redness and imagined how much he was hurting

You slowly sat down next to him and pulled out a rapid ice pack

After breaking it, you wrapped it in a towel so it wouldn’t be as cold and gently placed it on his knee

With the change in temperature, Oikawa lifted his head and noticed you tending to his injury

He didn’t say anything, feeling guilty

“Y/n, I’m sorry, I should’ve told y-”

“Shut up,”

You both stayed quiet until you put your hand in his to provide him some comfort

“Y/n seriously I’m so sor-,”

“Didn’t I tell you to shut up,” you cut him off again. Worried you were being too intense, you put your head on his shoulder.

He smiled and put his head on top of yours, but planted a kiss before doing so

“Does this mean we’re boyfriend and girlfriend y/n,”

“Maybe if you ask properly,”

He started blushing and used his unoccupied hand to cover his face in embarrassment

“Y/n please be my girlfriend,”

“Okay whatever,” you replied, also feeling embarrassed but smiling

He smiled and leaned his head on yours again

“Thank you for caring for me, I hope to make you happy forever,”

You squeezed his hand, unsure of a reply but Oikawa knew you reciprocated the same feelings.

BONUS:

After 10 minutes of waiting around, Makki decided to go look for you and Oikawa because they were hungry and wanted to leave.

They stuck together and looked around until they saw you two sleeping and holding hands

Groaning, Matsukawa handed $10 to a grinning Iwaizumi who just said “Knew it.”

I hope you enjoyed it!! I may have gone a bit overboard but it was such a cute prompt I just kept on going on with it.

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spell-cleaver · 4 years

Text

DAY 16: WHUMPTOBER: A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day - Hallucinations @whumptober2020

Considering the fact I’m doing three Xtobers, I think the fact that this is my first last post is both a surprise and a success!

Set, of course, in The Pirate Son AU - Find the masterpost here.

Ghosts were real. Living skeletons were real. The undead were real, apparently—at least, that was what Luke had inferred. He hadn’t actually asked his father for all the gruesome, grisly details yet; he hadn’t dared. But…

He remembered their first meeting. Three years ago.

He remembered how Leia had definitely shot Vader. Right through the heart.

But Vader had just stood back up and kept lumbering forward.

He hadn’t died.

Was he already dead?

Undead?

Luke had heard a thousand different sailors’ tales. He knew about Calypso, he knew about the albatrosses, he knew old-fashioned tales about women on board being bad luck—one he definitely didn’t believe, since having Leia on board, especially during a crisis, was the luckiest damn thing in the world.

He didn’t know this.

And… despite their tentative truce… He didn’t know how to ask.

Would his father reply? Would he tell him reluctantly; would he scoff and walk away, not deigning to inform his only son of that sort of thing; would he punish him for asking?

He didn’t know.

His father was so strange. The first time they met, he— he embarrassed him, beat him up, tried to kill him just for resembling the boy he’d thought his son might have been, and never once stopped to make the connection. Then once he knew the truth, he’d hunted him across the seas, fought him brutally in several battles, captured and killed his friends, beat him half to death… dragged him into a cell in his cold, wet clothes… invited him to a pleasant dinner with the intent of terrifying him witless… His crew had keelhauled him…

And then Vader had… reacted.

He’d treated him. And it had hurt, it had hurt like hell, but— but he’d treated him, he’d tried to save his life, he’d put him in a proper bed—or so that officer, Piett, had commented when Luke was first put in that bedroom after the hanging, and—

And that was something else, wasn’t it? The hanging.

Vader had offered him up to the courts and to Palpatine like meat. He’d been willing to watch him die. Then… he saved him?

What game was he playing?

Did Vader know what game he was playing?

Somehow, Luke seriously doubted it.

He was tense at the thoughts; his hands were all knotted up in the sheets of the bed Vader had given him, and he was shivering. The nightclothes he’d been given—a strangely white ensemble of a soft shirt and trousers—were hardly warm, but still… it wasn’t cold that he was shivering from.

To calm himself down, to reassure himself, he tried to start humming. The tune came easily, as did the words, playing at the back of his mind in a distant memory he hadn’t even known he’d had—

Something about the sea… and the moon sailing and cresting the waves, ever searching for her lost wife, the sun, who chased her round and round the horizon just as fiercely…

The tune calmed him. He smiled and decided—he might as well go and ask his father. He was feeling brave. He would still be awake; he was in the next room over. Luke pushed back the sheets and headed for the door, ignoring the fact that it was nighttime. The ghouls, or whatever they were, would surely be in full horror mode—but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

The music soared in his head, a rising melody.

He fumbled for the door latch. It was locked—he frowned. That was… not exactly confidence inspiring, not if Vader wanted to invoke a sense of trust. It just took a whispered spell to unlock it, then the door slammed open, caught by a sudden gust of wind.

Luke shivered, squinting in the dim hallway, the lantern creaking as it swung with the ship, and stepped outside, humming to himself. His father’s room was to his right but as he walked toward it, he… kept walking. Maybe he didn’t want to talk to him right now after all. Maybe he just wanted to get some air.

He tried to avoid looking at the undead sailors under the moonlight, though he knew they were looking at him: he just made a beeline for the side, and stared out at the moon. It was as full and bright as a silver farthing and he smiled at it. The waves lapped against the side of the ship calmly, despite the rocks he could see jutting up nearby—there was an island over there, or more like a sandbank, just within swimming distance, and when he heard—

He stopped humming for a moment, but the music carried on. It sailed through him, as familiar as his bones, and he knew that voice, from something beyond memory—it was smooth and intimate and he’d heard it, muffled; he knew the presence that came with it—

He started singing again, though he didn’t know the words; they came to him as if in a trance, as if his mother herself was teaching them to him…

And that was it. Wasn’t it?

That… that was…

Of course.

If his father was alive—why couldn’t his mother be?

“Mother?” he called, almost under his breath. “Mother!”

The song rose and he sang along—it was coming from that island over there. He frowned and squinted, and he thought he could see a pale woman standing on the shore. He saw her mouth moving, imagining he could here her calling, Luke, Luke, thought he heard cursing but then there was only the music.

He needed to get to her. The song rose in urgency. He needed to—

He put his hands on the side of the ship and made to jump up, to jump off, to swim—

And someone wrapped their arms around him and yanked him back.

“No!” He kicked, snarled, but the arms around his chest were like immovable steel bands. “No, let me go, let me go, I need to—”

“You need to stay in your cabin and stay out of trouble,” Vader snapped. He constricted his arms so tightly that Luke couldn’t breathe, but he kept humming even without air. He couldn’t stop. “Oh, God, I thought the lock would be enough—”

“Let me go! That’s my mother out there!” Luke struggled and fought, he bit his father, he—

Vader’s grip slackened with shock. “Your mother?” he asked, whispered, but Luke didn’t answer. He broke free, staggered away—and before Vader could grab for him again he seized the edge of the ship and jumped overboard.

“Luke!”

The water was freezing, like a shock to the senses, and for a moment he wondered what the hell he was doing, why he’d gone for a midnight swim instead of staying cosy in his bed—then he heard the singing again, filtered through the water, and glanced around. It was all a deep, deep blue under the moonlight, bubbles fizzing around him like boiling silver, and the melody woven through it all like lace. He was enraptured.

He couldn’t breathe but that didn’t matter—he kicked forward, desperately, but not for the surface. He could surface later, but first he needed to get to his mother, whose shimmering figure he could just see through the water, above the waves…

There was a crash, a splash. Luke kept kicking forward, kept swimming, for all that he blinked, and he was getting dizzy. Bubbles fizzed behind him again but he took no notice of them, headed straight for those sharp rocks up ahead, like the deadly spires of some dark, underwater palace. He needed to—

A hand closed around his ankle and yanked him back.

“No!” he shouted, and coughed as water rushed into his mouth, every movement muffled and quiet around him. He opened wide eyes to Vader’s furious face and gasped—choking and coughing again—kicking back, kicking him—

Vader held fast to him. Luke’s struggles got him nowhere.

They got him pulled up, up, and Luke sucked in a breath of night-cold air with something that mingled between relief and disappointment. He shuddered as the music got louder, even more beautiful, and he cried out when Vader’s grip kept him from swimming for it. He needed to go, he needed to see her, he wanted his mother.

He wanted to hug her and hear her tell him it would be alright and know that it would be. He wanted a parent who would love him unconditionally, who wouldn’t hurt him, who would actually protect him. He wanted to be held and appreciated as a son, not as an asset or a powerful sorcerer or a wayward pirate; he missed Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen, he missed Ben, he missed his family, and if his mother was actually still alive, if she’d just been lost, if she hadn’t died, not the way everyone else had, then he could still have that—

“Luke, snap out of it!” Vader was shaking him, splashing seawater in his face as they kicked, tread water. Luke scrunched his eyes shut. “That’s not her, that’s—”

“My mother is there and if you’re not going to be a decent parent you can at least let me go to another one!” Luke shouted, eyes open again, trying to splash Vader back, trying to kick away, but Vader growled and suddenly Luke was immobilised, magic turning him as stiff as a board; Vader grasped him before he could sink or float away.

“That’s not her, your mother is dead, Luke, there are sirens in these waters and they are clouding your mind—" He tilted his head up to sailors watching them on the deck, rolling out a ladder for them to get back in. “Don’t just stand there, get the pistols and bows, shoot them!”

There was a chorus of yessirs and Luke screamed when he saw the arrows fly, his gaze riveted to the figure on the sandbank as blood erupted around her, as the arrows and bullets flew and she fell—“No!”

“Luke, Luke, no, don’t look at that, look at me—”

Luke tried to shake his head, the only part of him that he could move, tried to gasp out his hatred and denial and pain but Vader just grabbed his face and turned it back toward him. He pressed his forehead against his; stared into his eyes.

“Luke,” he said. “Luke, they’re sirens, that’s not her, she’s dead—”

“You don’t know that! You— she’s right there, you’re killing her, let me go—”

“She is dead! That’s not her and I know it’s not her because she is gone!”

“You don’t— stop—”

“She’s gone, Luke, that creature is using her face to sully her further—”

“No, no, no, you can’t know that—”

“I can.”

“She’s not dead!”

“She is dead!” His voice cracked on the last word. “She’s dead, Luke, stop this at once, stop being a fool, I know she is dead—”

“How could you possibly know for sure!?”

“BECAUSE I KILLED HER!”

The arrows and bullets rained and the siren’s song stopped.

Luke gasped, eyes blowing wide, suddenly so, so aware that it was cold. It was frigid, he was shivering—his teeth started chattering—and he tried to huddle closer to his father for warmth, but he couldn’t move and the motion just bobbed him under instead. Vader cursed, and then the bind on his limbs was gone, and Luke tried to come closer, but Vader had no body heat to speak of. He wasn’t mortal.

“What…” Luke whispered; suddenly, he was ready to cry. Tears were hot, and they spilled out over his numb cheeks so fast they left tingling tracks in their wake. “What… what happened…”

“I knew that mortals were susceptible to a siren’s song in the way that my crew is not, but I had underestimated the effect it would have.” Vader was grim. “I had thought the lock on your door would be enough, until I saw you on the deck—”

“No.” Luke shuddered, teeth clattering in his mouth in an uncomfortable way. “No, I meant… what happened… with her.”

Vader went silent. He put his arm around Luke’s shoulder, and started kicking, bringing them both back to the ship, but he said nothing.

“W— what— happened,” Luke got out, “with you?”

The curse.

Luke’s kidnapping.

Padmé’s death.

Everything.

What had happened?

“I… did not want to discuss your mother so early,” Vader admitted begrudgingly.

“D— do I not— d— deserve to know?”

“No. You do. And I will tell you, once we are in dry clothes.” They reached the rope ladder and Vader pushed Luke ahead of him, helping him wrap his stiff, numb hands around each rung to start off with. “But I was afraid you would hate me even more than you already did.”

I don’t hate you, Luke knew he should say. But he couldn’t, because it wasn’t true.

Instead, he just allowed Vader to push him up. He shook so hard on the climb that he nearly fell off several times, but the crew at the top hauled him up, and then that officer—Piett?—was helping him onto the deck, was letting him lean on him, was guiding him back to the room. He handed him a towel and left him alone.

Luke sat there for a while, and it was a long time before he used the towel to dry off anything more than tears.

#luke skywalker #darth vader #for darkness shows the stars #sirens #flash fiction #flash fiction: star wars #my writing #random words on a page #whumptober2020 #whumptober #the pirate son #thepirateson

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inlovewithbuddyaurinko · 3 years

Text

Vesbud First Meeting

“Aurinko. You’ve got something of mine. I’d like it back. How about you toss it here and we forget this ever happened, besides, didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s not nice to steal from the less fortunate?.”

Everyone knows and loves a meet-cute, but our favorite space lesbian moms had a meet-violent. For femslash February, an elaboration of the scene described in Vespa’s wedding vows with some of the author's artistic license thrown in.

co-written with @chobiwolf

It had been a rough day for Vespa after a rough couple years. She’d managed to get a good steal in and had enough of a score in her pocket to drink the next two nights away without any concerns. It beat the previous few months of staying out of the way of any law authorities, it definitely beat being thrown in prison, only to be released by that...she shook her head, she couldn’t get caught up in dreaming about that near-magical laugh that would creep into the corners of her mind at any moment she wasn’t otherwise occupied.

The bar was nice, nicer than Vespa had any right to, but it was the only place that had a transport lift and at the moment, Vespa was out of any mode of transportation sturdier than a hijacked hovercycle. The number of people packed into the room, the walls practically shaking with the beat of the music being blasted over the hidden speakers hid the gangly woman easily out of the way in a corner to avoid judgemental glares of patrons dripping in the finest of venusian silks and velvets.

Buddy Aurinko thought she'd find her mark here, or a drink at the very least. Even though it had been years since the prison break, Buddy spotted her the moment she walked into the bar. Vespa Ilkay looked the same. It was like years of crime and a hard life hadn't done a thing to knock her down. This was a whipcord of a woman with a shock of razor cut green hair. She may have been huddled over a drink but she radiated fierceness. That quality was exactly what Buddy was here for. That... or a large sum of money and a drink with a cute girl. This was really win-win for her.

She slid into the seat beside Vespa, a drink in hand already. "Can I buy your next round, darling?"

Vespa jumped, face heating up when she realized that someone had managed to sneak up from behind, her hand going to a knife at her side before she laid eyes on the most beautiful woman in the whole damn galaxy. That same woman placed a tentative hand on the arm that had started to shift back to what was, undoubtedly, a knife.

“Oh uh, you don’t have to do that, I can pay my own way even if I don’t look like it.” was the stuttered reply, flicking her eyes over the frankly impressive form sitting next to her. “But I wouldn’t be opposed if you were to join me?”

"No, no, I won't hear of it, and I never repeat myself so don't make me ask again." Her demeanor was not overly friendly. But she angled herself towards the woman in a way that put their shoulders close enough to feel the heat coming off of eachother. "Why, I'm of the opinion that a dashing woman such as yourself should never have to buy herself a drink again." With her smile and the near panic in Vespa’s eyes, Buddy realized she would have to try and smooth things over quickly to prevent a bolt from the bar.

"So what do you say to one round? Your drink looks a bit more like salad than alcohol and I happen to know a few good options around here." She did a once over of the bar seemingly opening herself to a blindspot and making her appear a bit more genuine, though most of what she said was exactly the truth. Oh the trouble she could cause with this one… "Bartender!" A grizzled person who looked like they had less compassion than a swarm of rangian mosquitoes took her order, "Yes, and two of those please, one extra strong for the lucky lady. Oh, and in case it’s not clear: mine should be the strong one since I do seem to be a very lucky lady." She winked at Vespa.

Vespa should’ve kept a higher guard up. She shouldn’t have so readily allowed this woman to completely disarm her, but boy, this woman, this woman was the prettiest, fastest talking, most vivacious human she had never seen. The blush never quite left her face.

"So what brings you to this fine establishment?” Buddy gestured a bit vaguely to their surroundings.

Vespa’s hand didn’t quite leave her knife, but her shoulders lost the tension that had been carried there since she first sat down hours ago. She wouldn’t consider herself one for romance, but this woman....this woman could convince her that maybe a little wouldn’t be too bad. She’d never gotten a drink bought for herself before, and stared with eyes wide in surprise. “Uh just, you know, a place to hang around. What about you? You look like you belong here more than I do. Like I should be watching you in a stream, not, not have you next to me here.”

A bright laugh bubbled out of Buddy. She had never been a stranger to compliments, but she turned quickly to grab their drinks as a distraction from the slight heat she felt flush in her cheeks.

"Here we are! And who knows maybe I am on some stream somewhere," she smiled knowing it was likely Neptune's most wanted or something to that effect, "but I've certainly found this place just as cozy as you have.” The bar was probably the opposite of cozy, it would be listed in the dictionary with the word ostentatious.

“Perhaps even more so since there definitely wasn't a pretty girl at the bar when you came in." She put on a bit of drama, "Oh my, unless there was! Look at me: I've known you for 10 minutes and already a homewrecker. The shame of it! Well, I say shame but I can't actually find a single iota of it in me. So tell me, are you, in fact, here with someone, darling?" She paused to take in Vespa desperately trying to keep up with her manic speech. Buddy sipped from her drink to keep herself from talking more. Maybe she was a bit more nervous than normal. Marks weren't normally this— well this adorable, this dashing, this capable! That last one she was about to test.

Vespa cleared her throat, voice suddenly raspy with nerves. “No. Uh, no, just, just me here.” This woman really did talk a lot and her own head was slightly spinning. “I think I prefer the seat occupied by you instead of it being empty.” She attempted to flirt, cringing slightly at herself at how awkward it sounded. “Uh, Sorry, I didn’t catch your name. It’s gotta be as pretty as you?”

Buddy flashed a smile at her, wide and genuine at Vespa's incredibly honest way of flirting. "The name's Buddy," here she leaned in close and whispered, "and since you aren't here with anyone at the moment, would you like to be, miss…?" she trailed off hoping the other would also supply her name. By now the two of them had slid much closer and the hand she originally had on her knife arm had moved up to the woman’s far shoulder.

“Ilkay.” Vespa blurted out, cheeks tinged a deeper pink still. “Vespa Ilkay. Nice to meet you Buddy.” Her skin was covered in pinpricks where Buddy’s arm was around her, like every single nerve was standing on their head. She felt hot and hoped that she didn’t seem as nervous as she felt. Buddy was leaning in so close that it was like there were only two of them in the whole world.

"Vespa Ilkay…" Buddy knew that name, and she knew ultimately why she had come to 'run into' her, and yet here, face to face, she felt a nagging almost-girlhood crush from her 'tag along with dad to work days'. None-the-less the words slipped off her tongue like silk and she found her drink abandoned as she focused on the woman's face. All harsh, strong edges, and softening honest blush. Hair knocked loose from its gelled, spiked style by the constant shaking head and flustered denial of compliments.

She just couldn’t help herself, what was a little more distraction for one night after all? She brushed Vespa's hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. Her other hand had come to rest comfortably at the middle of Vespa's back now, trailing lazy circles with her thumbnail. "Why, darling you look positively feverish!" For emphasis she put the back of her hand on Vespa's forehead, "Hm, well I'm no doctor, but maybe another drink would cool you down? Or… maybe you want to get out of this place with me? I could show you an exciting time to be sure.”

Vespa would have passed out right then and there, Buddy's voice like a purr in her ears. She could’ve died and been perfectly happy. The hand on her back felt like it was shooting electric currents into her spine. The only way to make sure she didn’t melt into more of a mess was by running through in her head all the most easily breakable bones in the human body. She ran a hand through her hair, unable to imagine that this was real, it must be impossible, she had to be dreaming.

“I’m fine, I’ll just need a moment.” She straightened up her back, going-anywhere with Buddy sounded amazing. But no, she couldn’t. That was too much. “I’ll get out of here eventually.”

Buddy leaned back and the previous closeness had her wearing quite a dark flush herself. She felt the heat in her face and rather hoped it didn't clash with her hair. A ridiculous thought, one that made it clear that she was flustered herself, though she'd never admit it. She reeled herself in. She was a bit dismayed the rest of her night would not be spent with a companion, but the evening was not a total loss: there still was the money she was here to steal, now, there was just the matter of actually taking it.

Buddy breathed in and looked around trying to feign a bit of embarrassment, eyes cast down with a demure flutter of eyelashes. "I hope you'll forgive me for being so forward. It's not often I come across a lady like you." She looked up, making purposeful eye contact with a visibly flustered Vespa.

"Miss Vespa Ilkay, I do hope we see each other again." She leaned so far forward she saw the panic from the other that this was a kiss. It was not. Her lips brushed the other woman's cheek and she whispered, "Sooner rather than later if you can." She did then press a chaste kiss to Vespa's jawline as she slid out of her seat leaving a hint of brilliant red in her wake. The close contact made it easy to slip the card from Vespa's pocket into her own hand. She stood up fully and cleared her throat. "I do believe I may need to go to the powder room though, so... dear?" She turned Vespa's face to her own delicately, "Do take care of yourself."

Buddy went to the restroom of the bar that she knew had a broken window and a solid escape plan. She had left behind merely one thing besides the lipstick on Vespa's face. One thing in the form of a note written on a napkin. It would probably take Vespa a while to notice it if she noticed it at all. But it read as follows:

Wonderful doing business, darling. Sorry those drinks ended up being so expensive for you. But I did not lie to you, I do want to see you again…. If you can catch me.

--Buddy Aurinko

Vespa Ilkay was love struck. There was no other way to put it. She sat with her drink in her hands, once again staring down at the countertop, but this time, with a fond little smile on her face.

She was convinced that never before had anyone captured any heart so quickly as Buddy had wormed her way into her brain. There wasn’t anything more Vespa wanted than to drag her off to that damn washroom she said she was headed and kiss their brains out against the door, an activity she hadn’t felt motivated to do with anyone before. She looked down at her hand where it had dabbed at the mark on her cheek, a perfect mirror of Buddy’s lips in the palm of her hand. The red lipstick seemed to glow against her own skin.

20 minutes later and the bartender was glaring at her and making snarky comments about buy another or get the fuck out.

Vespa wasn’t particularly looking forward to going to find some dark corner to fall asleep in, but if it had to be done it had to be done. She reached into her pocket for her score to pay for all her drinks and she froze. It was gone. All of it. All that was left was a damn note. She cursed aloud. Scanning over the note, she then cursed her dumb heart for stupidly skipping a beat, dammit, even Buddy’s damn handwriting was gorgeous. Thankfully, there were just enough creds to pay for both their fucking drinks stuffed into her boot she could use. It now meant though that she would have no safety net if something were to go wrong, or even another way off the planet.

She stormed out of the bar, figuring that damn woman couldn’t have gotten far. She went towards the more crowded, better lit part of town. Aurinko clearly knew what she was doing. And someone as fabulous as her could blend in among a crowd more easily than in the dark and shadows. Finally, after what felt like forever of running, she spotted a shock of bright red hair at the opposite end of the street and started to push people out of her way as she was running towards her.

Meanwhile, Buddy slipped through the crowds like a fish through water. She flipped the card a few times in her hands before pocketing it in a holster on her thigh. Sure she turned a few heads here and there but she knew how to disappear when she wanted. Right now she was a bit careless though, having just wooed a pretty lady and gotten the score of the decade, and with barely any work on her part.

Suddenly, she heard a disturbance behind her and glanced back to see that same vivid green hair poke out through the crowd as Vespa not so much ran as plowed her way through the crowd. Buddy smirked, my this one did catch on fast didn't she? Buddy broke into a sprint and rounded a corner into an abandoned alleyway. She only stopped there briefly to remove her heels to make her tracks harder to follow as she crossed through to another backstreet.

The alley Buddy disappeared down of course connected to another side street that Vespa cursed out everyone who had ever worked on it from their first to last breaths of their lives. Her thick boots kept her from completely falling over as she made the sharp turns necessary and though she lost easy sight of the red hair that she had before, she managed to spy it again part way down the next street. “AURINKO!” She shouted off after Buddy, heads turning to look at what the commotion was. A sober Vespa would not have brought so much attention to herself, or to her target. A sober Vespa could slide between people and shadows with not so much as a whisper of clothing brushing against each other. Knives could disappear into backs before the glint of steel was seen, bodies would hit the floor, dead from poison before taste was processed by the tongue. But now, Vespa Ilkay was on a manhunt, willing to slash and burn in a fight against Buddy Aurinko. So,it was normally not a very good thing to draw attention to oneself if you were trying to stay unnoticed, but she wasn’t letting her get away with her score and only way off this miserable planet.

Buddy smiled to herself as she turned another sharp corner into an alley that would take her up a side fire escape and up out of Vespa's reach. But when she got there the stairs were out of sight. A quick glance around showed her their charred remains clinging half-heartedly to the building's side above her. She heard Vespa yell her name and knew she had no time to escape.

“Shit."

Profanity did not become her and she certainly would refrain more were she in anyone's company, but as it was she had no one around to hear her… Thank goodness for that. Though that would not be the case soon. She didn't have a blaster on her and she really would rather not use that on Vespa anyway, so she drew her knife from one of her many thigh holsters and readied herself for a fight.

Turning the corner, Vespa skidded to a stop, knife drawn already and barely caught herself from falling over from the sudden cease of movement when she saw Buddy trapped there at the end of the alley. She grinned, the expression dark and proud, teeth looking more like razors. This was a woman who had fought through blood and liked it.

“Aurinko. You’ve got something of mine. I’d like it back. How about you toss it here and we forget this ever happened.” Buddy looked to be illuminated from the shaft of light spilling over the buildings around her, making her hair look like flames. She still looked strong and steadfast, Vespa knew that this fight wouldn’t be as easy as it may have appeared to be, and only one of them would be walking out of that alley. And Vespa was willing to place money that it was going to be herself.

"I'm afraid that won't be happening today, darling." Buddy flashed a grin of her own, winsome and daring. She took the opportunity then to throw her heels at the woman who not only held an impressive dagger but was glaring them at her as well. Vespa rushed at her. Despite the small space, Buddy was able to parry and roll to her left, deftly avoiding the attack. This was certainly the most fun she had had in years.

The heels were certainly a clever ruse, but Vespa ducked them, internally tsk-ing that they were going to get scratched, Buddy didn’t seem like the kind of person to do that to her clothes, not that Vespa cared, of course.

The run at Buddy still left Vespa with her back to the entrance, she wasn’t born yesterday of course. But she couldn’t help but admire how cleanly Buddy dodged her knife. Nothing that could be considered aggressive was being done yet, they were still circling, feeling the other out.

“Those are my creds, not yours.Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s not nice to steal from the less fortunate?” She made another quick swipe at Buddy’s bust line which forced her to take a hop back, though still with plenty of room between them.

Buddy laughed breathlessly at the exhilaration of their fight. They were both so evenly matched that it was more dance than confrontation. She hadn’t felt like this since the day she ruined her fathers prison, just because she could. The day she had first seen Vespa Ilkay.

In her distraction, Vespa got the drop on Buddy and tackled her. Getting the wind knocked out of her chest stunned Buddy enough that when she regained her concentration a split second later, Vespa’s very sharp blade was at her throat, and she felt a small trickle of blood run down the nape of her neck. She still had a hand on her own knife though, and she angled the blade up towards the woman on top of her. She couldn't help but start laughing again, breathless, overtaken, and evenly matched. She looked into the woman’s eyes above her as she tapped the blade to her abdomen.

Vespa was about ready to drive the knife through her, not enough to kill her, someone so beautiful didn’t deserve that. But it was just so she could take her creds and go, but that laugh. It floored her.

She knew that laugh. That was the laugh that saved her. The fiery shock of red hair she only managed to get a glimpse of when she ran.

The starstruck woman didn’t even notice the knife running along her side, a dangerous position she would never allow anyone to get her into in any other situation. The thin blade lightly skimming over her shirt next to her skin sent shivers down her spine. Just, Buddy’s eyes. They were like pools she could get lost in.

It was the most unattractive, ungraceful thing that. Just-just staring down at the woman beneath her, mouth agape. “You-you were the one at the prison. You saved me.” Vespa collapsed one side to roll off of Buddy, still staring at her in shock, unable to process what just happened.

Buddy breathed a sigh of relief as Vespa rolled off of her, and they both lay there on the dusty ground of the alleyway, staring at an alien sky.

“I suppose I was, and I did.” Her voice was nostalgic and drawn out.

She pulled the card with Vespa’s score stored in it from her hoster and held it up above them, an outlined rectangle dangling from elegant fingers standing out against the artificial atmosphere, “Well, we seem to be doing all right for ourselves solo, but don’t you think we’d be better as a pair?” She smirked. Buddy turned her head to face the other woman and smiled at her, no wit, no false charm, but completely genuine and a little vulnerable.

Vespa’s heart still sounded like it was beating in her ears, dazed. Her eyes flitted to the card held in the air above them. She could just reach out and take it, but she didn’t want to, it was like it would break the dream she was in. A minute passed, no sound was heard but their still heavy breathing and the faint sounds of people talking, a car driving by, the headlights casting shadows down the alley. “So?” Buddy asked again, “How about that offer to get out of this boring old dump with me?”

Vespa squeezed her eyes shut, making sure she wasn’t dreaming for the second time that night when her brain caught up to her ears. “Yeah. Yeah that sounds— that sounds great.” Vespa’s eyes opened and she turned her head to look back at Buddy. Somehow, Buddy looked even more radiant than before. Just so hopeful and full of life, like with her, the two of them had the entire universe at their fingertips. “I think a partner in crime could be good.”

#tpp #the penumbra podcast #the penumbra fanfic #vesbud #vespa ilkay #buddy aurinko #season 3 spoilers #based off of vespa's wedding vows in what lies beyond part 1 #look #they're gay #precanon

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scaredofchange · 4 years

Text

Home Is Where the Heart Is - Jooheon x Reader

Pairing: Jooheon (Monsta X) x Assistant Manager!Reader

Summary: As a newly hired assistant manager for Monsta X, y/n meets a lot of ups and downs, confronts challenges and faces trials, but never had y/pronoun thought that the biggest one to this day would be Lee Jooheon.

Word count: 4.4k

Warnings: mentions of anxiety; slight swearing.

A/N: If you’re not into a long introduction, then I wouldn’t recommend reading this. ‘Action’ comes later down the story since I wanted to have a strong base to write on. Still, I hope you like it!

____________________

I had been working for Starship Entertainment for the past three months. It was going smoothly as I was getting used to the different ambiance from my last job, which was working for Big Hit Entertainment. Why did I leave, you ask? Well, let’s just say I didn’t enjoy the conditions I was being moulded in as head of the human resources department.

Although I had formed friendships with Namjoon and Jungkook from BTS, as well as Soobin and Taehyun from TXT, I just had to get away from the toxicity in my office. But, all of them were extremely nice and helped me find another job in the business. Never in my life would’ve I thought to have friends like them.

The real surprise was the position they had gotten me: assistant manager for Monsta X. Ideally, I expected a human resources job, since I didn’t see myself supervising a whole group, but Namjoon insisted I was perfect for the role; even with my crippling anxiety.

Surprisingly, things were going well. The band itself had been welcoming and charming from the get-go, well expect from one member; and, my boss, the manager, was a bit less approachable at first, but I was able to show him what I was made of and he eventually warmed up to my presence.

Today, the band and I had a few interviews in front of us and, as I was vividly typing around on my work iPad, hidden in the practice room, I heard the door open on some loud laughs and heavy footsteps. I lifted my head to meet seven men joking around, dressed in mostly sports clothes.

“Good morning,” I let out in a stern voice, knowing very well they should’ve been there fifteen minutes ago.

“Hey, y/n!” squeaked Minhyuk, shocked by my presence.

My eyes set on the leader, Shownu, who simply looked at his feet, embarrassed.

“When I call a meeting, I expect you all to be on time,” I added on a serious note, glaring at them like they were children.

One thing I had learned for the past few months was that men idols were like puppies, you had to repeat the same things over and over again as well as threaten them with the casual “you ain’t going to eat if you don’t do this correctly” from time to time.

“Sorry y/n,” finally added Changkyun, much more indifferent to the situation than the others.

I took a deep sigh and shrugged my shoulders: it wasn’t worth making everyone feel uncomfortable.

“So, I just wanted to brief you on the two evening interviews,” I stated, getting on my feet and brushing the dust off of my pants.

With a common nod, they spread in front of me.

“First one is going to be live, so you know what that means: be on your best behaviour. The other one will be aired in a few weeks, but from what I’ve heard, the host is known to try and make you feel uncomfortable...”

“What does that mean?” Jooheon blurted out, confused.

I lifted my gaze to meet his; he bore it like we hadn’t had an argument a few days earlier and hadn’t spoken since then. I cleared my throat to regain my calm demeanour and broke the eye-contact.

“She’s going to ask you about your dating life,” I cleared the question, “and as usual, you need to refute having any.”

They agreed in silence, exchanging looks between one another. The fact that we needed to hide both Kihyun’s and Shownu’s girlfriends from the world was as tough as it was; we definitely did not need them to talk about romantic relationships on a live broadcast.

I babbled about a few other details like transportation and clothing before I realized that most of the group had completely lost focus and was dangling from one leg to the other.

“All right,” I mumbled more to myself than to them, “I’ll let you get to it, but please, wait for me at the bus this time, okay?”

I.M and Minhyuk giggled like two kids in kindergarten who put a piece of gum on little Wendy’s chair.

“You have to admit it was a good prank, y/n,” the maknae let out with a wide smile.

I shook my head in denial, remembering how they decided to leave without me a few weeks ago, causing a whole lot of trouble for a whole lot of nothing. I was furious and had to grab a last-minute taxi to make it in time to the studio where we were filming a very important talk-show.

“Nah, it was a shitty one,” I blurted back, squinting my eyes at him.

Still, I couldn’t hide the smirk on the corner of my lips, and the band took it as their cue to relax. A part of me did enjoy forming a friendly bond with them; it reminded me of my family. It was warm and nice, but you did also want to rip one another’s heads from time to time.

In a synchronized matter, the group made its way to the center of the room and greeted both its dance crew and choreographer. They looked eager to start practising and I wasn’t one to keep them from doing it.

But, still, I gazed at them for a few minutes; they were all-natural and comfortable like they had always belonged here. They looked cheerful, happy.

“Don’t you have work to do?” nagged Kihyun, as he started to stretch.

He raised an eyebrow and waited for my departure. I grimaced at him and chuckled at the cute smile he threw back at me. But, unfortunately, he was right. After one last look, I turned on my feet and directed myself toward the exit. I knew a boring meeting was waiting for me in the afternoon and every single fibre in my being wanted to go home; but, I decided to take a deep breath instead and clicked on the elevator’s button.

Once I jumped into it, my mind went full-on work mode and I started rummaging about various details. Interviews were a lot more difficult to plan, especially when you order around a bunch of grown-ass adult men who act like two-year-olds.

And it’s with that mindset that I entered my office on the seventh floor, a dark concentred look on my face.

[***]

“Wow, you made it,” said Minhyuk unimpressed, “we almost had to leave without you this time.”

Out-of-breath, I staggered toward the Monsta X crew bus and brushed shoulders with the driver. My meeting had lasted way too long and I barely had the time to rush down to the underground parking.

Even with the few laughs coming from the rest of the group, my mood didn’t get better. I was mad and angry at a colleague who seemed to want to make everything much more difficult; and, I hadn’t had time to grab dinner, which meant I was starving.

“Are you okay?” asked Shownu when I let myself fall on the seat next to him.

We were used to being seatmates. Since he was the leader, I spoke to him the whole way to whichever studio we were going to and informed him on many subjects. He was always calm and he listened to everything I had to say before adding a comment. Shownu was the kind of man you hold on to.

“Bad day,” I whispered, side-eyeing him.

He pouted, visibly upset at my answer. With a slight movement, he squeezed my forearm, trying to reassure me.

“You’re strong, you’ll get through it.”

I smiled at his response and he squeezed even harder.

Just like on a timer, my stomach grumbled even louder than a few minutes before, provoking a side-look from a few of the members. As if on cue, I felt something on my shoulder.

I grabbed the small bag of chips with sweaty hands; Changkyun vaguely waving it over me like it was a natural thing to do.

“Thanks, I.M,” I replied in a faint voice, hoping he knew how much that simple act meant to me.

He murmured a simple ‘you’re welcome’ and got back to his phone. Within a few minutes, we were on the road and the vehicle was silent. It didn’t even take a few seconds before I finished my snack, but I was extremely grateful for it.

After exhaling all the air in my lungs, I let my head slide on the headrest and closed my eyes. I felt my whole being doze off until I was startled by the vibration of my phone. Without thinking about it twice, I opened my eyes and grabbed it: in this business, you often have emergencies and you always have to be alert.

But, in this case, it was a simple text message. I read the name over and over again: Jooheon.

Now, my hesitation to open the message came from the very heated argument we had had a few days prior. Not to mention how I could barely cross his gaze followed suit.

I tried to remember why I was so mad... but the answer didn’t appear as easy as it had back that day.

Long story short: I was convinced he didn’t like me, like... not at all, and therefore I was always distant with him. But, that night, when I had to pick him up from a friend’s place, completely drunk, he started to blame me for, and I quote: “making things difficult”.

It was around 2 am and I was tired of his shit, so I yelled. I told him that he was acting like a child and that I had no idea why he hated me so much. Then, he threw things like: “You’re trying to get into I.M’s pants,” which startled me to the core.

When I dropped him back at the dorms, he slammed the car door and stumbled his way to the main entrance. I had never been so confused in my whole life.

So, to see his name appear on my phone brought a whole new level of anxiety. I was repulsed by the dispute we had; I found it completely useless and out-of-the-blue, and didn’t want to replicate it once again.

Still, my curiosity got me and I slid my finger on the message. The only words that were written were: “Can we talk later?”

I bit my bottom lip, not knowing exactly how I should answer it. A part of me really did want to clear the air, but another one knew that it would probably be the most unpleasant situation ever.

“Of course”

I replied those two words not knowing what was to come, but for a quick moment, I felt good about the outcomes of our future conversation, or perhaps the butterflies in my stomach reflected fear more than hope.

I heard a light ting! from the back of the bus, a simple sign that told me Jooheon had received my message loud and clear.

The rest of the journey went without any troubles, except from my very heavy head who kept falling onto Shownu’s shoulder. Even though I apologized over and over again for my lack of professionalism, the leader kept reassuring me and patting his arm for me to lay on.

Eventually, I gave up the fight and obeyed, letting my whole being evaporate in the world of dreams, hoping for the evening to go well and acutely stressing about getting a one-on-one with Jooheon.

[***]

“How did we do?” inquired Wonho after the second interview, his ears reddened because of a strangely personal question that he had been asked.

I finally was able to let out a big exhale, washing away the weight that had been on my shoulders for the past hours. I am not going to lie: I was suspicious of Monsta X’s capacity to act like real, normal adults.

“You did exceptionally,” I complimented him with a small smile.

He seemed rather satisfied with the answer and walked straight toward the other guys; half looked absolutely despaired and the other half quite relieved. I joined them and cheered them on their performance. Aside from a few side-looks and basic comments from I.M, it went as smoothly as someone could expect it to go.

“It was close to perfect guys,” I reassured them after noticing their anxious gazes, “and big thanks to Kihyun for saving it a few times, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

The said-man straightened his back and smiled widely. With his small fingers, he pushed back a strand of his pink hair, like the drama queen that he is. I knew it would boost his ego a bit too much, but he did deserve the praise.

After exchanging on a few other points, it was quickly time to leave. Two cars were waiting for the group back outside, ready to bring them back to their dorms. I, on the other, usually had a habit of going back to my Starship office to wrap up the day nicely.

Therefore, having completely forgotten about Jooheon’s previous text message, I hopped in the closest taxi, screaming goodbyes from behind my back.

It was only when I arrived at my messy desk that I realized my mistake. “Shit”, I thought, my mind running to find a solution. With a sigh, I rubbed my eyes, not caring about my makeup anymore, and grabbed my phone.

“I’m sorry; I forgot you wanted to talk.”

I typed quickly and slid my iPhone back in my pocket, knowing I had a lot of paperwork to fill. I kept praying that Jooheon would not take my fast departure from the studio as a sign of unwillingness of talking with him.

Around twenty minutes later, even though I was already focused on my task, I grasped my phone the second it vibrated. I caught myself in a weird smile when I noticed Honey’s name and shook my head in proper denial.

“I went back to my studio, if you still want to talk, I’ll be there,” he wrote.

What was he doing back at the office too? Was he, just like, unable to go back home if his head was filled with thoughts? Thoughts that were not always welcomed?

Without thinking about it twice, I stepped on my feet and left the office straight to the elevators. To my surprise, my heart started to beat faster, like I was both excited and scared, anticipating the conversation.

The thing with Jooheon was my absolute inability to think whenever he was around. At first, I was expecting some resistance from some members of the group, but never from Honey. So, when I had to face an unsatisfied and uninterested main rapper, my brain stopped working and perhaps that didn’t help my case. I remember vividly how the first time he engaged with me, with a stern tone, I started to stutter and mumble, like a child facing an angry mother.

Maybe it was my admiration toward him that kept me from functioning normally, or maybe it was how intimidating he was, contrary to what I believed before I met him.

To be honest, before our very first meeting, I binge-watched a load of YouTube videos, trying to seize their personalities and how I should approach them, both individually and as a band; apparently, they weren’t as instructive as someone would think.

Still, it was part of the job, being clueless. We all learn while making mistakes; that’s how I had gotten where I was and, I was sure, how the rest of my life would be.

With slightly shaky legs, I stepped out of the elevator and directed myself toward Jooheon’s studio. I couldn’t hear a sound coming from it, but then again, it was a soundproof room.

I knocked lightly at first, then a bit more strongly, hoping he hadn’t left already.

Within a few seconds, as my breath started to shorten, Honey opened the door. His dark hair was dishevelled as if he had been running his hands through it the whole night; he had small dark circles under his eyes; the top of his buttoned shirt was undone; and, he was, for some reason, barefoot.

“Wrong timing?” I supposed, my eyes analyzing him from head to toe.

He shook his head in denial and stood aside, letting me some space to enter the room.

As I did so, I noticed how my head was filling up with strange thoughts, such as: “Wow, he looks so good” and “Could he get more attractive?”; thoughts that had never been mine before, which provoked deep foreign warmth in the pit of my stomach.

“What are you working on?” I mumbled, trying to make conversation while Jooheon pulled a second chair for me to sit on.

“Just some new songs,” he replied tiredly.

I nodded and watched his multiple monitors, remembering that one sound mixing class I had had a million years ago.

“Can’t wait to hear them,” I added, genuinely excited about it.

He shyly smirked, his irises looking over at every detail of my face; perhaps was he trying to find indications of my mood. Truth was, I had no idea how I felt about this.

“You wanted to talk?” I initiated the topic with a somewhat trembling voice.

I cleared my throat, in hopes that he hadn’t noticed.

With a quick nod, he shuffled on his seat and locked gaze with mine. I held it like my life was depending on it.

“About the other night,” he started smoothly, “I wanted to apologize for my behaviour.”

Surprised, I raised my eyebrows. I didn’t expect this at all.

“I didn’t mean what I said, I was drunk,” he then stated.

“Didn’t you, though?” I rapidly blurted out, not even thinking about it, “Mean it?”

It was his turn to be taken aback. It was like I had punched him in the gut. He stepped back on his chair, which rolled away slightly, and started to shake his head vehemently.

Before he could add anything else, I took the lead.

“Where I come from, it is said that people, when drunk, say the things they don’t dare to say when sober. So, I’m asking you again: did you mean what you said?”

It was a bit rough on the edges, I admit, but it was direct and that’s all that mattered to me.

He inhaled and let his head fall on his headrest. I could almost see the gears work in his brain as if he was trying to come up with the perfect answer. The thing he didn’t know though was: there wasn’t any.

“It’s not that I didn’t mean it,” he finally started to speak up after a good thirty seconds, “but I didn’t mean the way I told it, you know?”

I acquiesced with a nod, waiting for him to continue. Honey bit his bottom lip like what he was fighting what he was about to say next.

“I just don’t like the way you’re so close with the other members, especially with I.M.”

I raised my eyebrows almost automatically.

“Excuse me?” I gasped, getting on my feet. “Are you still suggesting I’m trying to get, and I quote: into Changkyun’s pants?”

Furious, I crossed my arms on my chest and glared at him. Rapidly, Honey jumped on his feet too and got a bit closer, trying to keep me from leaving.

“Y/n, stop it,” he ordered with a deep voice, “you’re not listening to me.”

I scoffed abruptly, searching for a reply.

“I am listening to you, dumbass. What do you think I’m doing?”

“No, you’re not really listening to what I’m saying.”

“Then be clearer!”

“I don’t know how I can be! You don’t wanna listen!”

Our voices were getting elevated and the room was warming up to both our anger.

“Jooheon, I’m not in your fucking head, so just say what you really want to say. You think that, what, I wanna fuck I.M, is that it? Or all the members while at it? What is your problem?”

“What? That is not at all what I think! I just don’t like the way you’re so... friendly with them!”

He was starting to look incredibly desperate, but I had to get my answers.

“And what does it change that I’m friendly? Can’t I be their friends? It’s not my fault that you’ve been an ass since the beginning and that you don’t want to be my friend!”

“Who said that?”

“You, obviously. Maybe not with words, but you don’t need words to communicate your absolute disdain toward me,” I replied a bit less confidently than before.

Jooheon looked absolutely horrified by those words. With his mouth agape, he searched my eyes for any signs of lies, but there weren’t: I really did think he hated me.

As if taken by a sudden sadness, my eyes started to water. I hated the way I cried when I was angry, but what can you do?

My heart was beating so fast I was afraid it might burst out my chest.

The main rapper stood there, speechless, for what seemed like hours. I swiftly wiped away a tear that was threatening to fall and looked at my feet like a coward.

Where would this conversation take us? What good did it make?

I was filling up my head with useless questions when Honey moved.

I was shocked when he stepped closer and lifted my chin with a trembling finger, locking his eyes with mine. Gently, he placed both his hands on each side of my face and held them there.

I could see how he was gathering the courage to speak, so I gave him the time he needed; I didn’t budge.

But there isn’t one thing that could’ve prepared me for what he said next.

Not one.

With his eyes still searching mine, he opened his mouth:

“I have nothing, and I mean nothing, but pure admiration for you, y/n. I have never felt any disdain toward you, you are basically the definition of perfect,” he breathed out the last word in a murmur.

I was paralyzed, completely frozen in place, but that didn’t stop him from going.

“Can’t you see?” he asked rhetorically, “I don’t like the way you’re so close with other members because I want your attention all to myself. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. Every day that I come up here, I hope I can get a smile from you or even a single word. I think about you all the time and it’s driving me crazy.”

I hadn’t noticed the tears streaming down my face until he wiped some with his thumbs.

“You don’t have to say anything, of course,” he tried to take the pressure off of my back, “but you have to know the truth, and the truth is that I like you way more than I should and that I’m jealous of every moment you spend with I.M, or Minhyuk, or Wonho, or every single one of my friends, because I want you all to myself, y/n.”

He was apprehending the worst, I could see it in his eyes, eye-contact that he finally broke out of fear, and in the way he was ready to just let me go, but I didn’t want that, I didn’t want him to let me go. Not now, not ever.

“Jooheon...” I whispered, slowly placing my palm on one of his hands.

His eyes jerked back to me, hope filling his irises.

Words didn’t need to be exchanged anymore, I knew that. They already had been and I was tired of reading between the lines, of not knowing where to stand, so I took upon me to make things clear.

My head was empty when I crashed my lips onto his; I wasn’t thinking about anything. The only part of my body that was experiencing something was my heart. Whether it was by its multiplied beatings or its desire to feel Jooheon: I didn’t know, but I sure as hell knew I was alive.

Instead of being surprised or pulling back as I had expected, Honey welcomed me with strength and passion. The kiss began delicately, like the flappings of a butterfly’s wings, but it deepened rapidly, descending into a powerful hurricane, sweeping everything that dared be on its way.

His tongue eventually found mine in a synchronized matter. As I grabbed his neck with both my arms, he let his hands slide on my waist, pulling me against him.

I was taken by the sudden urge of giving him my all; my absolute everything. I closed what was left of the gap between us and slid my hand over the back of his neck, passing my fingers through his hair.

The kiss deepened even more which I didn’t think possible. The mix of the taste of my tears and the heat of the room made it all so delicious.

But, unfortunately, we are humans and we need air, so at a certain moment, maybe minutes after we let ourselves go, we had to pull back, but only slightly.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this moment,” Jooheon murmured, his face still centimetres away from mine.

“Of course I do, I waited as long, didn’t I?” I smiled.

He titled his head to one side and admired me in a way no one had ever done. I bit my bottom lip, the taste of Jooheon still lingering on it.

“You’re so beautiful,” he finally let out, a smirk creeping on his lips.

His dimples showed, causing another wave of warmth to climb up my spine. It was definitely one of my favourite physical features on him.

“Thank you, you’re not too bad looking yourself,” I teased while raising an eyebrow.

He openly laughed and pulled me closer once again. That time, when his lips found mine, it didn’t feel strange, foreign.. no. It felt intimate, familiar, dare I say ‘perfect’. Like my arms had always belonged around his neck; like his hands were perfectly meant for my waist. Everything was falling into place, like a puzzle that had long been waiting to be completed.

What it meant for our future, I had no idea. But, one thing was sure: whether this was the start of something new or not, I knew, for certain, that I was at the right place.

Because, wherever Jooheon was, I belonged.

He was my heart, he was my home.

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halequeenjas · 4 years

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She’s No Ariel || Dave & Jasmine

TIMING: During the Living Nightmares POTW PARTIES: @seizethecarpe & @halequeenjas SUMMARY: All Jasmine and Dave wanted was to enjoy the beach. Turns out, White Crest has other plans.

With colder weather ready to creep in any week now, Jasmine was determined to get a nice beach day before she was forced to stow her bikinis away. Well, at least until the new hot tub was installed, but that’d take some time. She still enjoyed the smell of ocean air in comparison to the chlorinated pool water. As far as she heard, no one had seen any of those giant lobsters in some time. It was likely a safe day to soak up some sun. She’d arrived at the beach with her beach chair in tow and a trashy romance novel to hold her interest as basked in the perfect weather. White Crest Beach was no Huntington Beach, but she could make it work. The beach even seemed to be currently clear of fog by some sort of miracle. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been there, but she was several chapters deep in her new book when she felt a chill in the air. A fresh wave of fog was rudely rolling in. “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” she grumbled, “Can’t a girl have one nice beach day?”

Dave had arrived at the beach with the exact opposite intentions. He wasn’t carrying his trident aggressively, the prongs hidden from sight at he walked along, looking like he was some old doddering man with a stick and a fishing net. Which, well, for the most part he was. There weren’t many out on the beach - so much of the town was covered in fog they seemed to assume that was true townwide. Which, to be fair, it sure was most of the time, and as Dave walked along the pebbled shoreline, the fog came in, swamping his senses. He could feel the whole damn beach now, including the young lady shifting in her seat in annoyance, and something moving out and about in the water. “You know if the fog is always this thick this time of year?” He asked her, squinting out into the water.

One of these weekends, she was dragging Beatrice and Leah away for a proper beach vacation where ominous fog didn’t roll in and they could have fruity drinks with little umbrellas in them. Maybe once she was free of Larry Bob, she could make that happen. For now, Jasmine jumped slightly at the sound of someone else’s voice. She squinted through the fog and saw the form of a man getting closer. His voice sounded friendly enough so she wasn’t entirely ready to go into defense mode yet. “No, it really isn’t,” she answered in a tone that she hoped conveyed this was probably serious without sounding crazy. She was about to pack up her beach chair and towel when she felt the tide reaching her feet. Now that was concerning, even more so than the fog. “I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not be the next unaccounted for death on the news, so I’m getting out of,” she was cut off but a soothing voice a little further out in the water. “Join me,” the swimming lady said. Jasmine scoffed,”Do I look like I want to join you?”

Her tone had layers to it, like she was trying to convey something beyond what she was saying. Dave wasn’t all too sure he’d be able to peel ‘em apart when he couldn’t hear her too well in the first place, but she didn’t sound too easy-breezy about it at all, she sounded serious. “Didn’t think so,” Dave replied, squinting to read her lips as she talked. “Not a bad idea.” He didn’t hear whatever Jasmine was responding to, but whatever it was, she wasn’t impressed. Dave set his bag down, to give himself a little bit of flexibility if he needed it. He had a bad feeling about all of this, as much of a cliche as it was. “Who was asking you to join them?” He asked, trying to peer out into the water. There was definitely something moving out there, but he wouldn’t be too convinced it was something human.

All the fog seemed to keep coming in, making it near impossible for Jasmine to make out the lady who had been floating in front of them. She knew it wasn’t just the fog, there was something terrifying about that chick’s voice and whatever she was, Jasmine had no plans on becoming someone’s dinner. The man hadn’t spotted the woman, but he was peering over the water. “Some spooky chick… I wouldn’t,” she thought of the best way to tell him to stay back from the water, “Get close. Totally sketchy.” Did that suffice? Probably not. As the woman popped above the surface of the crashing waves, this time right in front of him, she let out a small gasp. “Hey,” she yelped, “I said I didn’t want to join you, Ms. I’ve never heard of a freaking comb! You don’t want to piss me off, lady. It won’t end well for you.” Her face remained stony and hard though she was becoming increasingly more aware of just how out of reach her back was. Sure, her nails were pretty sharp, but iron rod was more effective and didn’t require her ruining her manicure.

“Some spooky chick near the water? In the water? Ma’am, it might be time for you to get back.” Dave frowned, squinting until he saw her. A beautiful woman in the mist, waving her arms enticingly, inviting them both in. He stepped a little closer, despite Jasmine’s warnings, so that he was standing where the sand was wet, and he could feel the rippling water, and how it sloshed against the body. He frowned, tongue pressing against his teeth caps so he could get them off fast if need be. “Now.” Unwilling to be polite about it much longer, and feeling the mermaid just below the surface, Dave hauled Jasmine back bodily as the giant angler fish body opened its maw and tried to grab Jasmine. Dave and Jas were faster. “Don’t like that at all.” Once again, the face on the mermaid was eerily familiar, but she quickly disappeared under the fog. She’d be back soon enough, Dave had no doubt. “You alright there, ma’am?” In the fog, all manner of things might be hiding.

Of course Mr. Big Shot over here was stepping closer to the water instead of backing away and Jasmine found herself rolling her eyes. Men were impossible. She pulled one of the iron rods out of her bag and followed anyway. At least she knew better and would hit the likely demonic woman across the head if she tried to yoink the man back into her underwater hell den. “In the water. Why are you getting closer,” she said in an exasperated tone. Sure, the woman in the water was pretty, but not nearly as pretty as the one on the shore. Of course, he probably thought he had to be manly or whatever and check it out. Just as soon as she followed behind him, he was pulling her back and some giant fish was opening its wide jaws. She stumbled a bit not expecting to be pulled. Okay, maybe this guy knew what he was doing. Wouldn’t be too shocking considering it was White Crest. “Is that bitch trying to eat us? Have you seen something like her before? I remember the giant lobsters, but fish ladies? Really?” With arms crossed over her chest as they were a safe distance away from the shoreline, she shouted, “You’re not even that pretty. Go find your own beach, lady!” Alright, shouting down a monster wasn’t her best look. She shook her head and said, “Sorry, I’ve really just been trying to actually enjoy the beach. Apparently a tall order around here. But I’m fine. Are you okay?”

Dave subconsciously bared his teeth at the threat, silent and furious. The mermaid retreated, her grotesque form hidden back under the surface. “Giant lobsters are a walk in the park compared to her. Well, it, technically, their lure doesn’t reflect their sex, but yeah. She can’t get on land, but you might want to avoid coming by this beach any time now.” Dave huffed his laugh as Jas yelled back at her. “Don’t think they understand English, no matter what.” He shook his head, looking back out into the fog. The mermaid had submerged back under the waves, but she was waiting for her opportunity. He looked Jas over, unsure what to make of her being pissed off and not scared for her life. Unconcerned, but not reaching for a weapon either. “Fine. I’ll come back to deal with her later. Ain’t too keen on monsters disrupting my down time either. You seem remarkably nonchalant about all this.”

As the fish lady disappeared back under the water, Jasmine found herself still staring wide eyed at the water still. No matter how many new monsters White Crest threw at her, she always found herself shocked at just how crazy it could all be. Like a woman’s body attached to a giant fish that definitely wanted to eat them for lunch? That was truly wild. She shook her head as if that would make the whole ordeal shake away with it. “I never thought I’d hear someone say the giant lobsters are a walk in the park. Ugh, I still can’t look at surf and turf the same. I guess I’ll have to stick to pool days.” Another part caught her attention, “Wait, they all have the ladies on them? I’m not gonna see any Idris Elba looking fish men try to turn me into their dinner.” Was that a positive or negative spin? She could hardly tell anymore, but picked up her long, cardigan-like cover up to help her fight off some of the chill the fog brought with it. Her eyes still scanned the water making sure whatever the hell that was stayed underwater where it belonged. “Monster fish ladies don’t speak English, got it.” It hadn’t dawned on her that she maintained her cool until the man was noting she didn’t seem too thrown by the whole situation. She shrugged in a manner that indicated she was fairly used to all this even if her heartbeat peaked slightly as she started to explain, “Oh, yeah. I grew up here with… certain abilities. Kind of hard to live in denial when you have dead people chatting your ear off.”

“By comparison,” Dave stressed gruffly, but with a small smile, although that was likely the spike rush of adrenaline. “Pool is probably safer. Least in those you can see what’s under the surface. And, uh, no Idris Elba. The range is beautiful women to kinda textured blobs with arm like extensions. That one was impressive in its detail.” He stepped back as she tugged on her cardigan, in principle to give her space in case she needed it while processing, but also so that he could stand a little closer to the water and feel just in case the mermaid was angling for a second attempt. He raised his eyebrows at her. There were a few different ways folks communed with the dead, and he wasn’t about to guess which way it went. “Good. Wasn’t sure how I’d lie about this one otherwise. Meanwhile the water’s as much home as my van is, so I’m more familiar with mermaids than the dead.”

“I guess everything here’s pretty relative, huh?” Jasmine laughed a bit and began gathering up her beach umbrella and towel. The fog was still thick, but it seemed to be letting up at least a little bit. “Probably, but the salt water does wonders for your skin. Plus, I’m sure there’s some new age crap about how the ocean’s healing or whatever. Well, at least I know they won’t be fooling me to go out into the water after them. She was a pretty realistic woman for a fish lady.” She noticed the man’s tendency to stick closer to the shore line which was curious, but nothing too alarming to her. Clearly, he wasn’t about to try and eat her or anything which were things that needed to be seriously considered in this town. There was a lot that the water being pretty much his home could mean, but the part of living in his van stuck out. “Wait, your van is your home,” she asked incredulously, searching her bag for one of her business cards. “Here, in case you decide you’d like something a little more permanent than a van. Or I guess if you have any ghost problems since we’re being open here. As you can gather from the card, I’m Jasmine. I’m a realtor in town here. Also, occasionally offer up my services as an exorcist as needed though I prefer to keep that a little more on the down low.”

“Huh, I’m sure they do say that, but I ain’t too sure I agree.,” Dave replied with a smile, gesturing at the heavy scarring on his face and hands. His skin was weathered and leather like, but he did have, what, thirty odd years on her? He raised his eyebrows as he was given a business card, before shaking his head amicably. “Nowhere permanent has ever stuck,” Dave said with a surprisingly easy smile. “I’m Dave. I do treasure hunting and deep sea monster hunting. In case you run into more where those came from. Part time seal, too. Can I walk you back to your car, or however you got here? Don’t think this fog is lifting any time soon.”

The admission that he never really settled somewhere permanent didn’t make much sense to Jasmine until he got into the details of his own profession. “Oh,” she said nodding her head slowly, “That makes sense then. Ocean is home and all. Anyway, good to meet you, Dave. I’ll admit, the treasure part of that sentence sounds way more fun, but there’s monsters a plenty in White Crest so I’ll keep that in mind.” Considering a fish lady had just tried to make them her lunch, she gladly accepted the offer to walk her to her car. “Thanks, that’d be great. Who know what else I could run into in this fog,” she responded with a laugh as she led the way to her car. Maybe the beach day hadn’t been entirely ruined. After all, new contacts were always a useful thing to have.

#wickedswriting #she's no ariel #dave

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jazy3 · 4 years

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Station 19 Finale Thoughts

I decided to watch the season finale of Station 19 to see if I could glean any clues as to what the original finale for this season of Grey’s Anatomy was supposed to look like before COVID-19 forced them to shut production down. I was surprised in that I didn’t find as many clues as I was expecting. I did some research and it turns out that this episode and several previous episodes of Station 19 were originally supposed to have more Grey’s content, but when they were forced to shut production down and it subsequently became clear they would not be able to film the remaining four episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, including the finale, they went back in and edited out the content that no longer made sense without the Grey’s episodes that were supposed to follow.

This helps explain why there aren’t as many clues as fans had hoped for because they edited those scenes out. As it stands, we don’t really get any more information about the characters on Grey’s that we didn’t already know. With the exception of Teddy whose comments imply that she’s looking for forgiveness from someone. I do have some thoughts though so let’s dive in. After a night of partying and drinking the Station 19 crew are called in because of an explosion at the old Pac-North hospital. Everyone is hungover except for Ben who was home with Tuck and Joey because they’re sick. Over at Grey Sloan, Sullivan undergoes surgery to try and alleviate his leg pain.

First off, was anyone else surprised to find out that Pac-North still existed? I thought the hospital was shut down and its employees absorbed into Grey Sloan? WTF? The characters go onto explain that Pac-North is only mostly closed with some departments such as admit, the ER, and radiology still operating on the first three floors. I really hope they address this next season on Grey's because I am confused. Watching Ben razz his co-workers was hilarious. I loved his line about the state they were in made him glad he had to stay home with his sick kids last night.

I loved the scenes with Amelia. I have to give Caterina, the actress who plays her, so much credit because in the last few seasons she has taken Amelia from a character I couldn’t stand to one that I love. I hated the character for a long time, but I love post-tumour Amelia. She’s so strong and she’s come such a long way. I'm glad that she's finally doing well and is mentally stable and is managing her addiction and recovery well. She deserves to be happy. I love that we got to see her using her own experience to help Sullivan with his drug addiction and Andy with her fear.

Dr. Alba, the woman who died trying to save her lymphoma research, made me cry! She wanted so badly to save her research and her specimens in order to save countless lives that even when the firefighters told her they had to evacuate she just couldn’t let it go. I cried watching her die. I’m glad the team was able to save some of her research and her mice so that her work could continue after her death. I love that they got the samples. I bet the Bomb Squad and the other Firefighters were so confused! Haha! Bunch of firefighters coming out of a compromised building with a bunch of samples looking like lab techs. My favourite line of this whole episode was when the team walked out carrying all of the samples, research, and specimens and Maya looked at them confused and said, “Why are we carrying rodents 19?” Too funny!

It was great seeing Meredith! I’ve missed seeing her on my screen. I really like Meredith and Andy's friendship. It's great to see Meredith smile and be happy and be herself again. I’m glad she was able to be there for Andy when she needed her and help give her some clarity. My heart broke for Andy in this episode. Especially when she said that the memories that had come back to her made her think that her mother was so unhappy that she killed herself. I loved Meredith’s line, "Sometimes a breakthrough can look another lot like a breakdown." I also liked that she was able to use her own experience with the memories that came back to her about her mother's pregnancy and Maggie's existence to help Andy through her pain.

Also, they have definitely added more plants to the plant room and I'm calling it. That is too many plants. WTF? That's way too many. How does the hospital have such a large budget for greenery? What the heck? I loved the scene where the police showed up and arrested Chief Dixon! He is going down! I’m so glad. Dixon’s not only corrupt, but his lack of regard for human life is just straight up dangerous. Justice!

We also get to see Maya face some hard truths. In this episode her Dad shows up and she finally sees him for who he truly is: an abuser. I thought they did a good job of showing what a powerful force denial is in the face of abuse and how abusers will change things on a dime and blame others for it to mess with them and get what they want. Maya’s Dad does this to her all episode until she finally sees it and takes action. At the beginning of the episode her shows up at the fire station wanting to talk, but she can’t talk because she’s at work and a call comes in. Then he sees her on the news so he comes to the scene. She hears him call out to her so she comes over to talk to him only for him to tell her to get back to work because he wants to see her in action.

Later on she’s in the middle of talking to the bomb squad when he starts shouting at her from behind the yellow tape. She comes over to talk to him confused and he starts yelling at her for doing her job and playing firefighter while her family is falling apart. She explains that she’s doing her job and he shouldn’t be there. He starts arguing with her and then ducks under the yellow tape and continues yelling. She tries to reason with him, but when that doesn’t work she goes into firefighter mode and tells him he’s a civilian and he needs to get back behind the tape. He screams at her that he won’t be spoken to like that and Maya tells he can either get back behind the tape or she’ll have him removed. He doesn’t move so Maya turns around to go get help and that’s when stuff gets real.

Maya’s Dad grabs her by her ponytail and attempts to assault her in broad daylight. Members of the bomb squad and other firefights see this happening and rush to her aid. They hold him back as he taunts Maya about how she needs big strong men to protect her and how he won her all of those gold medals. In a powerful moment Maya finally sees her Dad for what he is and shouts back that she won those gold medals for herself, unlike him who wins things for other people. Later back at the fire house Maya cuts off her ponytail to remove the reminder and tells Jack that she feels stupid for not seeing what everyone else could see so clearly. He tells her that’s usually how these things go. Their talk inspires her to go apologize to Carina and try to make things work.

I’m glad that Maya apologized to Carina and that they're back together! I love them! They’re so cute. Also, Teddy is standing right there telling Carina to forgive Maya if she loves her which is interesting because this episode was supposed to coincide with the Grey’s Anatomy finale. I wonder who Teddy is talking about here. Is she wishing Owen would forgive her for having an affair with Tom? Is she wishing that Tom would forgive her for sleeping with him and then trying to marry Owen? Or Both? Unfortunately, we’ll have to wait till next season whenever that may be to find out.

And of course in true Shondaland fashion the most shocking part of all came in the last 10 minutes of the episode. When Andy went to a motel to see her Aunt Sandra and ask her some questions and we found out that her Mom was not in fact dead, but alive. I’m so confused. My guess was going to be that Andy's parents were going to get divorced and then she died, but it looks like she's alive and well so what the heck? I might actually watch the Season 4 premiere of Station 19 in the fall just to find out what happens with Andy's Mom. Does she know Andy's Dad is dead? Why was she hiding? Was she actually sick? I have questions.

I also have a couple of theories as to how the original finale for Grey’s Anatomy was supposed to go. Clearly, they were supposed to bring the patients from the Pac-North explosion to Grey Sloan for treatment and we know from reports that the original Grey’s finale was supposed to include some kind of explosion which was supposed to take the life of a major character and critically injure several others.

So based on that I have two theories as to how the season finale of Grey’s Anatomy was supposed to go. Theory 1: The firefighters bring the patients from the Pac-North explosion to Grey Sloan for treatment. It turns out one of the people they evacuated was the bomber and that person has a bomb hidden on them that goes off in the ER. Several main characters are caught up in the explosion and the cliff hanger is you don’t know who lives and who dies. In next season’s premiere we find out that one of the main characters died and that several others were critically injured with someone possibly losing the ability to operate. The first half of the season would then showcase the doctors attending this person’s funeral and grieving the loss while working to recover from their injuries and what happened.

Theory 2: The episode starts by creating a false sense of security. The patients from the Pac-North explosion are brought to Grey Sloan for treatment which floods the ER with patients and the doctors there scramble to help everyone. Things are chaotic, but none of the characters lives are in peril until an explosion goes off in one of the upper floors. The Station 19 crew rushes to the scene and together with the bomb squad they determine that whoever set the bombs at Pac-North also planted bombs at Grey Sloan. Either because the hospital has a similar research project that uses embryonic stem cells or something similar or because the bombing was in fact personal against a doctor or researcher that worked at Pac-North and was in the process of transferring to Grey Sloan. The employees struggle to evacuate themselves and their patients and in the process several bombs go off on different floors injuring or trapping several main characters and the cliff hanger and the first half of next season would be the same.

Until next time!

#station 19 #grey's anatomy #finale #thoughts #review #louder than a bomb #3X16 #crossover #Meredith Grey #amelia shepherd #teddy altman #carina deluca #maya bishop #andy herrera #jack gibson #ben warren

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ddaengyoonmin · 5 years

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Chapter 4

Pairing: Jungkook x reader, Taehyung x reader, eventual Ot7 x reader in later chapters

Genre: fluff, angst, uhh maybe smut eventually??

Theme: Based kinda on sword art online a lot of similar ideas and themes kinda combining the idea of them trapped in the game, but the world is closer to ALFheim online

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: Swearing?..I swear a lot it can’t be contained. Mentions of death, Panic attacks,

Next -> Chapter 5

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‘You weren’t sure if you liked this Jungkook you were seeing now, but you couldn’t fully blame him for the drastic switch, people can change when they are thrown into survival mode, and this...was now life and death.’

Jungkook had quickly led you and his friend/room mate Taehyung out of the town square. Not really leaving you time to get acquainted with the new traveling companion but it was understandable.

Once you reached the edge of the town which led to an empty field Jungkook turned around to look at you. “Crash course in flying. Now that we are out here, this is going to be the quickest way to travel. I want us to get to the next town as fast as possible so we can snag up all the good items and stuff okay?”

You nodded.

He looked to Taehyung, “You’ve learned flying already right?”

Taehyung nodded, his face devoid of emotions standing stiffly and awkwardly. He’s definitely still in shock, you all are in some sort of way. Jungkook was handling his fear by jumping into the leader position, you were handling yours by trying not to think too hard on anything and just go with it...so maybe you were in a state of denial?

Jungkook showed you how to do a hand signal in the air that summoned some sort of joystick controller in your hand, and explained the logistics of flight. It was actually fairly simply, the downside was at your low level you had a very limited amount of energy you were allowed to use to fly. So every 15 minutes or so you would need to land and recharge before your wings gave out on you.

The three of you took off, not saying a word, letting Jungkook lead the way.

You wanted to be blown away by the fact that you were flying, you wanted to feel the rush of the wind and excitement of your feet leaving the ground for the first time, and trailing behind you as your wings carried you forward.

But you were numb. You thought about your home, your job, Tiger, Velvet… At that last thought you almost burst into tears. ‘I hope mom saw the news and comes to check on me, I hope she feeds them and takes care of them if I....’ you have to try to hold back your tears so you could see in front of you as you flew, ‘if I die…’ your thought finished itself.

Jungkook landed in a small clearing in the woods you had been flying over. You followed down, grateful he had remembered you were nearing the end of your allowed flight time, because you had already forgotten.

After many repeated starts and stops, you could see on the corner of your screen a clock read 3:00 am. Wow, you had been flying a long time. Occasionally when you stopped Jungkook had scanned the area to see if there was any good loot or creatures to get some experience points from, and there was some a few times. You took turns getting the final kill so you could evenly spread out the points and drop items, all of you leveling up 2 times each so far on your journey. Taehyung still remaining quiet even then.

You finally heard him speak for the first time since you’d left the town “Jungkook can we please stop and rest.” He pleaded softly towards the man leading your flight.

Jungkook nodded and descended down into the woods below. You realized you were starting to feel some aches and pains from all of the flying and fighting. That jolted something in you and you felt your stomach drop for probably the millionth time today. Previously, you couldn’t feel pain in the game, but that must’ve changed as the game maker said it would, making the horror of the new reality you were living in so much more...real.

When you all had landed your team searched around and found a cave. Jungkook entered first using his night vision to scope out potential threats in the darkness. When he had yelled out the all clear, Taehyung, then you, followed into the cave. The glow from your screens giving you just barely enough light so you could see where you were going.

“What I wouldn’t give to have picked fire fairy right now” Taehyung groaned as he slumped against the one of the cold cave walls.

Jungkook thought hard for a second and took a rock from the floor and held it in his hand. He went into his menu and did something you couldn’t quite see.

Suddenly the rock in his hand was transformed into a glowing torch. He smiled slightly, as excited as one could be while facing the current horrors you all were. “Illusion magic…” He explained “I just bought a transformation spell that should come in handy for things like this, it’s a novice one so it probably won't last long but if I stick it in the ground we can gather around it for a while and get some of the heat and light.”

You smiled, grateful for his brilliant knowledge of this game. He really had done his research before coming here.

Taehyung, Jungkook and yourself gathered around the torch trying to soak up as much heat as you could. The silence in this small circle was deafening. The three of you mulling over the events of the day in your mind. “I…” you break the silence, “I think maybe we should get to know each other a little better, It might make getting through this easier on me...mentally that is”

If only your mom could see you now, initiating a conversation with two people you’d only just met today, being the one to actually ask for information on their personal lives. You don’t even know this person you are right now. Thinking about how Jungkook changed when this all started, you realize its changing you as well.

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense, we are going to be spending a lot of time together from here on out, who knows how long until they arrest this guy holding the strings, or if they even will at all.” He trailed off then made eye contact with you, his dark eyes glowing, with the flame of the torch reflecting on them warmly. “As you heard Taehyung say a few times my name is Jungkook, it's only fair now I know your real name right?”

A small smile formed on your lips, maybe the first genuine one you’d had tonight since the news. “Y/N”

“Y/N huh?” Jungkook smiles back, “It suits you” you felt warmth in your chest at his words, and shyly changed the subject.

“So...I’ll ask the next question, what do you guys do for a living...back in the real world?”

Taehyung actually is the one to speak first, “I’m pretty boring, I’m an accountant and have been for a couple years now, the pay isn’t bad, so I can afford to invest in my hobbies and stuff, I like art and photography”

You were happy to hear some info on the mysterious man that had joined you earlier in the evening. His face started out expressionless but you could see his eyes light up as he mentioned his hobbies, it reminded you slightly of how excited Jungkook had been that afternoon when explaining the details of the game to you.

“I work from home doing independent graphic design for businesses, boring stuff too I suppose, but I enjoy it” you wink at Taehyung “like business cards and things like that, so if you ever need one you know who to come to” You grinned pointing a thumb to your chest.

“Wait til you hear what he does for a living” Taehyung’s face got colder again and actually seemed to have a slight hint of resentment in his tone.

“No. Shut it.” Jungkook snapped “I’m good on that one.” he looked away from you and over to the entrance of the cave, avoiding your confused expression

Taehyung’s eyes widened “Wait… you really aren’t going to tell her? Don’t you think she should know? It’s kinda relevant to…” He was then quickly cut off

“I said shut it. Leave it alone Tae” He glared dagger eyes at the green haired man across the fire from him.

His sharp words to Taehyung shocked and baffled you. You hadn’t expected this to be such a touchy subject when you brought it up. “Sorry..” You mumbled “I didn’t mean to pry too much”

Jungkook looked your way guiltily, wincing at your hurt expression. “No, no, I’m sorry, I’d just rather it not be talked about right now okay?”

You nodded still feeling like the whole thing was suspicious.

“Sure” you looked to Taehyung now wanting to change the subject quickly “I believe it’s your turn to ask something”

“Oh alright” then he thought for a while.

You watched him as he thought and wondered what type of man he was. From your first impressions so far he seemed odd yet intriguing, similar to Jungkook in some ways but also very different, kind of quirky and quiet.

You had a feeling he’d be the type to try and cheer a friend up on a bad day by doing a goofy dance, but then also letting them cry and pour their heart out as long as they needed. He seemed soft and warm, and all of that was your impression of him after this whole horror was discovered.

Jungkook on the other hand, most of your first impressions of him were erased by the tragedy that befell you all. If you had just met him now, you wouldn’t think of him as friendly or warm. Charming still...but not in the same way, it was in a way that slightly frightened you. Though you knew he was doing what was necessary for the survival of you all, you kept missing smiling ‘Kookie’ from the field.

“Actually, I changed my mind, we really just need to sleep so we can get moving again as fast as possible” Jungkook shot out before Taehyung had a chance to decide on his question.

You pouted slightly, as did Taehyung. Jungkook settled himself down into a sleeping position on the ground and fell asleep almost immediately. He must’ve been exhausted from taking the lead on today’s plans and travels, you also remembered hearing him say he had gotten up at 12am for the premiere of the game. ‘Damn’ you thought ‘He’s been up over 24 hours…’

He was probably right about the three of you all needing your sleep, but you were a little bummed at the same time. You really wanted to know more about your traveling partners. You started to settle yourself down trying to find a comfortable spot to lay on the cave floor, when a soft “pst” came from Taehyung’s direction. You turned your head to look at him in a puzzled manner. He motioned with one hand for you to come close to him, and you did. Propping your back against the wall to sit side by side with him.

“I don’t like how Jungkook is acting” He started in a whisper “He’s my best friend... I’ve never seen him like this before. I understand the seriousness of what’s going on here, trust me. But...to not care about everyone else that could die in here, it’s not like him and just seems wrong.” He looked somberly at a small pebble in his hand he was absentmindedly toying with as he talked.

“I...uh don’t really know what to say” you shrugged “I only just met him today, He seems like a good guy, he’s been kind to me. But yeah I guess I can kinda agree, it doesn’t sit totally right with me to just leave everyone else behind struggling when we know what the strategy to stay alive is…”

Taehyung scoffed “yeah and it’s not even just that… it’s that he knows…” he stopped himself and threw the pebble roughly at the wall opposite you both. “Never mind. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, I’m sorry, I was just venting”

You nod and without thinking rested your head on his shoulder, heavy with the sleep falling on you. You could feel his body stiffen slightly in a state of surprise at your touch, but he soon relaxed and set his own head on top of yours.

“Might as well be a shoulder for each other to lean on throughout this huh? We are probably gonna need it” He sighed quietly.

You didn’t see him looking down at you. You didn’t notice how he admired your beauty and had to hold himself back from full on pressing his whole body against yours in a tight embrace. Wanting to feel you, and have you feel him, to ease both of your stresses from today. You definitely couldn’t tell that from his angle there was a perfect view for him to look down the front of your dress and see some of your exposed chest.

It took everything in him to pull his eyes away, he tried to just focus on the fire in front of them. He attempted to adjust himself in a non suspicious way and he made a mental note that this game was VERY realistic in how ALL of his body parts were working.

You were at this point falling fast asleep, head still on Taehyung’s shoulder, mind finally winding down for the first time today. Your last thoughts before your eyes shut for the night were of home. You weren’t sure if you’d ever see it again, you weren’t sure if you’d make it out of this alive. But you were sure that if you had to be stuck here, you were happy that you had Jungkook and Taehyung with you.

#bts angst #bts au #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts smut #bts x reader #bts imagines #ot7 au #ot7 fanfic #ot7 x reader #jungkook x reader #taehyung x reader

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precuredaily · 5 years

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Precure Day 128

Episode: Futari wa Precure Splash Star 30 - “Amazing Power! Precure’s Great Transformation!!” Date watched: 9 June 2019 Original air date: 3 September 2006 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/jfdQJOk Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

Gohyaan forgot to look at the schedule

When we left off, Gohyaan had kidnapped Flappi and Choppi and retreated to Dark Fall, leaving Saki, Mai, Moop, and Foop in shock. We meet up with them the next day at school, as Saki and Mai are extremely dejected. However, after school they vow to search for their missing partners. They search the beach, as well as the Sky Tree, but come up with no leads. However, Miss Shitataare is still fuming over Gohyaan stealing her thunder, so she pays the girls a visit and coyly leads them to Gohyaan’s hideout. Although initially taken aback by the intrusion, he quickly slips back into taunting Saki and Mai by showing them how he’s tortured Flappi and Choppi.

Then he throws the spirits at their feet, saying he’s gotten all the information he can from them. Saki and Mai scream at Gohyaan that they’ll never forgive him. He brushes this off, because he’s not interested in their forgiveness, and asks what they will do instead, daring them to transform, but the Flower and Bird spirits are too weak to transform Saki and Mai into Precure. Moop and Foop try to apologize to their seniors but Gohyaan takes the chance to capture them instead, and then prepares to destroy Saki and Mai with a gigantic energy ball. The girls bravely stare imminent death in the face and vow that they’ll never give up, because they know if they remain strong in spirit, their wishes will always be granted! It’s a powerful speech, but Gohyaan still isn’t impressed, dismissing their chatter as cliched. Saki and Mai reiterate that the two of them are friends with each other, with Flappi and Choppi, and with Moop and Foop, and that all of their friends are precious to them and they will protect the fairies with their lives! Just as Gohyaan is about to strike the killing blow, Moop and Foop are empowered by the outpouring of love and break free of their restraints, and they fly back to Saki, Mai, Flappi, and Choppi, and encase all of them in glowing light.

Flappi and Choppi are healed and re-energized, and Moop and Foop transfer their powers of Moon and Wind into them. The two larger fairies suddenly transform into their alternate modes, but these aren’t the Mix Communes. Instead they turn into new forms: the Crystal Communes! A new power is being born! Saki and Mai are confused about the change but with no time to worry about such things, they let the spirits guide them into transforming and lo and behold, when they transform this time, they emerge not as Cure Bloom and Cure Egret, but in all new forms.... Cure Bright and Cure Windy, the precures of the Moon and Wind!

The girls don’t have much time to marvel over their new appearances before Gohyaan sets about trying to destroy them again (rude). However, they find that these new forms come with greater power and abilities than they’ve ever experienced, and they manage to gain the upper hand in the battle! Moop and Foop chip in again and give the duo the Spiral Rings, but this time the center emblem is in the shape of a five-pointed star rather than a heart. Gohyaan taunts that he’s going to show the girls a sliver of his true power, and it is strong, but they remain resolute, and with the Spiral Rings equipped, now their attacks are even stronger, even faster, even more dangerous to the beings of darkness than ever, so they overpower the imp and perform their new finisher: Precure Spiral Star Splash!

Unfortunately, he gets away before we can see the full effect of the attack, but the finisher was powerful enough to bring down Gohyaan’s entire hideout, so the girls flee back through the portal in the ceiling they came in by, suggesting Miss Shitataare left them the escape route. She’s a curious one. Anyway, Saki and Mai regroup with all their fairy partners back at the Sky Tree and the mascots thank the girls for saving them. Saki and Mai push back, though, saying they powered up because everyone’s feelings came together as one to produce a miracle, and with that the episode ends on a beautiful sunset atop the hill.

(okay there’s also some jokes about how Saki and Mai still haven’t finished their summer homework, but given the circumstances, how could they?)

Where do I start with this episode? The epic conclusion to the dramatic cliffhanger from last week, culminating in Saki and Mai receiving a powerup and becoming Cures Bright and Windy! This is one of the defining moments of the show. Although the concept of multiple forms would be revisited in a few different ways in the subsequent years, Splash Star is still the only show where the girls have two separate transformations with different names. Cure Bright, obviously, represents the Moon, while Cure Windy’s motif is pretty self-explanatory. They showcase greater ability than they had as Bloom and Egret, being able to control light and summon strong gusts of wind. Their spirit power is strong and they withstand a flood thrown at them by Gohyaan. With the Spiral Rings their power is even further amplified and they are able to send Gohyaan running for the hills even with his great strength. As the representation of the bond between the girls and fairies, and what’s possible when they join their individual strengths together, it’s beautiful.

On the villain side, the level of treachery Miss Shitataare demonstrates is almost amazing! She is so determined to be Akudaikaan’s right hand, and in denial about her own failures, that on the cusp of a victory for Dark Fall, she brings their greatest enemy into the fold just to sabotage Gohyaann. Her actions bring the girls and their fairies so close to the edge that they unlock an all-new power, which will definitely come back to haunt her soon. Animosity between villains is nothing new in superhero shows, but infighting to the degree seen here is a rarity. I’m impressed. I kind of think I might have been reading her character wrong all this time. I initially thought of her as being similar to Poisony from the first season, who was fairly good at using disguises and sneaking into places to lay traps for the Precures, but she’s really nothing like that. While she uses disguises, they don’t often serve any purpose to her plots. Miss Shitataare cares only for herself and her well-being, she’s very strong but she doesn’t have a lot of foresight. If she did, she would realize that helping the girls win this time just to spite Gohyaan would definitely come back to bite her.

Finally, this is the last episode in which the current ending theme, “'Smiling is Victory' so GO!” by Mayumi Goji plays. I have failed to talk about it for the last 6 months, and this is my last chance, so let’s dig into it.

youtube

It’s a bit more melodic than some previous tunes, though it still has that upbeat cheering going on. The lyrics are about how the future is bright even if the present is rocky, so press on and be happy. The visuals show Saki and Mai, separately, engaged in their favorite pastimes: softball and drawing. At sunset, they stand apart from each other and timidly reach out to hold hands, before running home. That night, they each look at the stars from their homes as the lyrics talk about the possibility of never being happy again, and how life is a roller coaster of emotions. Then a meteor shower starts as the lyrics turn more positive. The next day, the two are sitting under the Sky Tree, basking in nature’s beauty. Next we see them running along the beach, turn to each other, and slowly grasp hands again, this time their fingers intertwined, and they stare at each other with huge smiles on their faces.

Then they go back to playing on the beach as the sun shines on a bright friendship and future.

Depending on your read of the song and visuals, it is either about two strangers becoming friends, or it’s super gay. I like the SakiMai ship but I’m not going to weigh in on this matter any further than that. It’s a nice, mid-beat (is that a term?) song with some striking visuals, I think the most striking of any of the FW trio ending songs, and what replaces it is the start of a franchise staple.

Next time, the status quo returns, and we get some of the hardest content to translate to a non-Japanese audience: manzai comedy. Look forward to it, maybe.

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 0 Zekkouchou Nari!

Miracle Drop Count: 5

#Precure #Pretty Cure #Futari wa Precure Splash Star #FWPCSS30 #PCD128

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beyondthetemples-ooc · 5 years

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...it’s so strange to me, how people (writers) think Everyone Reacts to their Phobia Trigger the Same Way. Most writers will give Every Individual their Own Personality, their own motivation, their own struggles, their own ways of enduring them.

But when it comes to facing a phobia, most writers have this Stereotypical Response that looks a lot like when the monsters come out in a horror movie. Screaming, running, this violently terrified wide-eyed action.

But here’s the thing about human fear: “Fight or Flight” is only half the story. There’s also another subset of reactions, “Freeze or Fawn”. Freezing is, obviously, holding still, supposedly from the evolutionary concept of “hold still and it won’t get me”. Fawning is basically, “If I make myself less of a threat, it won’t hurt me.”

I was thinking about this in the context of emet*phobia, because of course I am, and comparing mine to Dove’s, because of course I am.

When I’m triggered, I don’t have the stereotypical “panting breaths, wide eyes, sweating” reaction at all. It’s not a sudden Panic and Fight/Flight reaction. Mine starts low and slow like a seashore tide, and gradually comes over me in waves, pulling me deeper and deeper under each time. It starts with this little hitch in my thoughts. At first, I can stay pretty calm. (I’ve been resisting fear’s immobilizing effect since I was very young, after all.) I tend not to show any signs of fear at first. In fact I start breathing even deeper and slower, I close my eyes, I tilt my head back, and I “coach” myself through it. And half the time, I can move on with my life. (Although I’ll think about it. Randomly. And it makes me tense... but I fight it back.)

I guess there’s a little “Fight” in me, because I try to fight it back, granted I “fight” it with breathing and grounding and sometimes, if I think it’ll actually do something (which it genuinely used to, from the time I was 12 to about 21), meditate. Actively take steps to Make It Go Away. There’s a little bit of Fawn in my response, too, because I get this very desperately compliant mindset, like “Oh, if I take one wrong misstep It’s Gonna Happen, so I just... won’t do that. At all. If I’m good, it won’t happen.”

It’s not until something either Shocked Me Badly (such as reading sudden and vivid descriptions in horror novels), or I get the feeling that says It’s Definitely Gonna Happen Right Now, that I start to panic. Sometimes I’ll pray and reach out to either my spirit guide or, if I’m panicked enough (that feeling when your fear starts consuming your whole identity and your mind pitches forward into this violent downwards spiral?), I’ll cry out to my goddess. And when it reaches that level of panic, yes I tremble and yes I go breathless, but I keep chanting near-mantras to myself and force myself to work through it.

This more subtle response doesn’t mean I’m any less terrified, or I won’t spend the next two weeks thinking about it and randomly being spooked again by the Slightest Reminiscence. Even when the trigger’s over, I’m exhausted, I feel terribly small and vulnerable, and I struggle very much to get a handle on my emotions.

Dove runs. Even if she can’t physically run, she gets locked in this panicky cycle of denial and looks for ways to escape the situation, escape the room, escape whatever’s causing it, and if it gets to the point where she can’t, or it’s too late to do anything, she shifts into Total Freeze Mode. She locks up, she can’t move, she can’t speak, she can barely think, and when it gets bad enough the only way to communicate with her at all is telepathy.

Even the same person can have different reactions to different fears! I don’t have multiple phobias, but going back to Dove, she has the emet*phobia, and a specific type of phonophobia (certain low, loud noises send her panicking), The emetophobia is one of those Pathological Irrational Fears. But the phonophobia comes from the sounds she heard while she was having a vision that led her to feel like she was dying, a thousand times, over and over. That was traumatizing.

Thunder sounds like what she heard when that vision started. So it’s actually more of a PTSD-based phobia. For that, she’ll skip straight to Freeze, and the reaction comes over her too quickly to subdue. She pants, she sweats, she trembles, and she gets locked in her own head. (And that’s not even getting into what her POWERS do to EXACERBATE it...)

I’d get into how Srentha, Leyla, and Kary handle their fears, but I have to go to the doctor. (I’m... still not doing well at all. Day 5 and still Being Triggered.) But it’s an assortment of flight, fawning, and a dash of fight.

Maybe it’s because I’m an empath and maybe it’s because I’m Highly Acutely Aware of FEAR in others, but I just don’t understand how (most) writers give everyone The Same Reaction.... when it’s every bit as varied as personal experiences and personality.

#i also think PTSD makes you react to fear Differently from Pure Adrenaline Responses... but i can't unravel Why right now #rhs has ocs and this is the tag about them #rhs personal posts #phobias #iala yona #digital mirrorbooking

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