#siri play night changes by one direction please

[book-place]

Inseparable

Warnings: allusion to bad home life, brief mention of making out and gorging eyes, detention, Remus’s werewolf situation, I picked what house the reader is in based off the request, let me know if I missed any :)

Pairings: Sirius Black x reader platonic

Request: Hello!! And yay for finishing your requests!!! Could I please request a Sirius Black (Marauders) x Older Sister Figure! Sirius, as we all know, doesn’t have the best home life and especially now that him and Regulus are at odds. Reader is an older Gryffindor (maybe like a year or two above him and the boys) that took Siri under her wing when she found him alone one night sitting out by the Blake Lake. They are sticky platonic and if James weren’t in the pictures she’d be Sirius best mate. The Reader and Sirius are talking out by the lake, watching the rest of the boys play in the sand and splash in the water on a rare hot day when Sirius confides in her about Remus (knowing she can be trusted) and she gives him the idea of being an Animagus and that , because she’s a year or so above, she can help get them all the stuff they would need to turn. Again, love your work and I’m so happy you got through all your request!! Sorry if this is long and kinda detailed, I’m on a road trip and got into it lmaoo

Request by: @bringinsexybackk69

*not my gif*

Summary: You had been there for Sirius since the beginning. And no matter what problems he faced, that would never change

A/N: I’m sorry if I veered this in a different direction then what you were looking for; Also, I hope you have/ had a great road trip :)

Please don’t plagiarize my work, you may reblog if you like but I’m asking that you don’t steal my hard work

The first time you met Sirius Black, you had been running down the corridor with a large grin that was full of mischief, laughing as Filch ran after you, struggling to keep up.

You had sent the young boy a playful wink as you passed him. He had pressed his back flat up against the wall to get out of your way just in time for you to breeze past him, his eyes widened with fright.

“Thanks, kid!” You had called over your shoulder, taking a sharp right and successfully leaving Filch behind in a heap of curse words and sweat.

The second time you met him was in detention later that week, he had gotten caught by McGonagall for falling asleep during class, and had been sent there later that night per her demand.

Sirius had walked into the classroom, shuffling his feet slightly at the sight of you lounged lazily in the chair up front, the only other person besides Professor Binns in the class. And by the way the ghost had his head in his hands and his eyes drooping, he couldn’t tell if it were you or he that looked more bored.

Your head had lazily lolled to face the boy when the door clicked closed behind him softly, and a small smirk that was anything but malicious grew on your face.

“Sit down, Black.” The professor called tiredly, barely even glancing at him, “You’ll spend the next two hours in silence then your detention will be up.”

With only a couple seconds hesitation, he did as he was told and shuffled over to a seat in the row behind yours, startling slightly as you turned in your seat to face him. He hadn’t expected you to acknowledge him.

“Hey there.” You said quietly, “You’re that Sirius Black kid, aren’t you? The whole school was making a big deal over you getting sorted into Gryffindor a couple months ago.”

His head dipped down in embarrassment, “Yeah, that’s me.” He muttered.

You allowed your eyes to study his face for a minute as a small frown took over your features, “I know what it’s like.” His head snapped up to you, “I come from a long line of pure blooded Slytherins as well, they weren’t any happier when I was sorted into the house of red and gold then yours were.”

“Really?” He asked, eyes wide in disbelief for multiple reasons. One of them being what you just told him, and another that this cool third year was going out of her way to talk to him.

You nodded, an amused look taking over your features, “So, kid, what’re you in for?” You asked playfully, resting your head in a hand on his desk, talking as if you were in prison.

“Falling asleep during transfiguration. You?” He could slowly feel himself becoming more and more comfortable around you.

“Setting off a firework potion in Filch's office.” A large grin was on your face by the time you replied.

His eyes widened, “Really? How?”

“Hey!” Binns snapped, eyes suddenly wide open, “We’re still in detention, you two!”

You quickly threw a wink in Sirius’s direction, “Maybe I’ll show you one day.” You slyly said before turning back to face the front of the room.

And then there was the third time.

It was about a week or so after that night of detention, and Sirius was yet to see you again.

Though it was pitch black outside with the stars as the only source of minimal light, Sirius sat down near the Black Lake, and pulled his knees up to his chest as he leaned against a tree and finally allowed tears to fill his eyes now that he was all alone.

Just as he was letting out a sniffle, something landed on the ground beside him with a thud.

He let out a small, terrified yelp, and stumbled backwards.

You quickly bounced onto your feet, flipped your hair out of your face, and placed your hands on your hips with your signature grin, “Hey there!” You greeted friendly.

“O-oh, hey.” Sirius shakily answered, relaxing his tense muscles once recognition flashed across his features at the sight of a familiar face.

A frown tugged at your lips, “What’s wrong, kid?”

“Nothing.” He was quick to deny, “What were you doing in the tree?” Anything to get the attention off of him.

“Eh,” You waved a hand as if it was irrelevant, “Just enjoying some peace and quiet in the moonlight.” You fell silent for a moment, contemplating, “What were you doing out here?”

Sirius diverted his eyes away from you quickly, instead peering at the glimmering water as it rippled slightly, as if the giant squid had just swam by, “I… I’ve been having trouble making friends here… because of who my family are.”

Your gaze softened as you looked upon the young boy, but you were quick to realize that you had once been in his shoes, and sympathy had been the last thing you had wanted from others.

So without even thinking twice, you slapped your smile back on and threw your arm over his shoulder, “Well, not for long. ‘Cause now you have a friend.”

Slowly, a similar smile spread across his face as he looked up at you with wide eyes that held both adoration and awe.

Everything changed after that night.

Sirius was quick to rise in popularity once he had been seen hanging out with you a couple times, which then inflated his ego, therefore boosting his self confidence. That ended up helping him make quick friends with his three other first year roommates.

And though the group of them became very close, you and Sirius were the most inseparable people at Hogwarts.

There wasn’t a story told with one of you that the other wasn’t somehow involved in. If there was a prank taking place somewhere in the castle, more than ninety percent of the time you two were behind it. It was impossible to walk down the same hallway as you two and not hear the booming sound of laughter echoing off the walls.

Time flew by with a blink of an eye, and before you knew it, it was your last year at Hogwarts and Sirius’s fifth. Meaning pretty soon you would have to leave him. You weren’t too worried about him though, you trusted his roommates to look out for him. You just didn’t know what you were going to do with yourself once you didn’t have him by your side.

You plopped down on the grass next to Sirius, who was staring out at the Great Lake, just like he had been when your friendship finally began to bloom, but this time the look was anything but sadness. He was smiling slightly.

“Hey, Siri.” You greeted, ruffling his hair before bumping your shoulder against his. Just to be extra annoying.

He grinned, turning away from the scene before him.

His friends- James, Peter, and Remus- were all in the shallow end of the lake, splashing each other and laughing.

“Hey, Oldie.” He greeted back teasingly.

You rolled your eyes in mock annoyance, “For the last time, Black, you better stop calling me that.” You wagged a finger in front of his face threateningly, “I’m not some ancient witch you make me out to be.”

He threw his head back and laughed, his black hair falling downwards with his movements.

You reached forward and grabbed a strand of his hair gently, “You really need to cut this. It’s getting too long.” You would never admit out loud that you actually liked it, you just loved teasing him too much.

He scowled, pulling his hair out of your grasp and smoothing it back into its correct position, “Oh, please, the people dig it. And I have to give them what they want.” He finished dramatically by throwing an arm up into the air in an equally dramatic pose.

The smile didn’t quite reach his eyes this time, causing yours to slowly vanish from your face, “What’s wrong, kid?” Even after all that time, you had never stopped calling him that.

A sigh escaped his lips and he ran a hand through the very hair he had just claimed to need to keep neat, “I should’ve known you would figure out that something was up.” He let out a little chuckle, eyes averted from yours.

You gave him a sad smile, “What can I say? I know you better than you know yourself.” You weren’t met with a laugh like you had hoped.

Following his distracted eyes, you watched as he glanced at his friends- specifically a tall, brown haired boy with a scarred face.

“It’s…Remus.” He sighed, allowing his gaze to drop back to the grass that his hands had started subconsciously picking at, “There’s… there’s something I have to tell you.”

You stayed silent, knowing it was not a good time to talk. That Sirius needed to get this out before he changed his mind.

“He’s a werewolf!” He blurted it out as if it physically pained him to say it, but not because it bothered him. But because he felt guilty about telling someone. He knew he could trust you, though. With anything. No matter what. And nobody was around to hear him confess.

His cheeks began to tint red and he dropped his head lower, allowing his hair to hide his face, as if hoping it would swallow him whole, “And I’m worried about him.” He admitted with a whisper.

Then it dawned on you. This wasn’t about Remus being a werewolf, not fully. It was about something more, about what Sirius was feeling. Towards one of his best friends.

A small and sincere smile made its way onto your face, “More than a friend would be worried?”

His face burned even more at your words, “Shut up.” He mumbled weakly.

It wasn’t very often that the great Sirius Black was rendered speechless. Even you hadn’t seen that happen since he was in third year, when he had caught you making out with someone in Three Broomsticks. The poor boy was so scarred by the event that he almost gouged his own eyes out with his wand. Then he tried chasing after the person you were making out with using said wand.

The grin on your face didn’t falter as you looked out at the water, and you didn’t miss the way Remus’s eyes kept flitting over to a certain dark haired boy who just so happened to be your best friend, but his cheeks turned pink when he noticed you looking, and you couldn’t help the adoring look that took over your face.

But you rolled your eyes once you noticed Sirius was still looking at the ground, oblivious to the puppy dog eyes the other boy was sending his way.

You opened your mouth to say something, but decided against it. You would let the two little lovebirds figure out everything by themselves… maybe you would give them a couple nudges along the way, though.

Sirius lifted his head with sad eyes, “I just wish I could help him.”

It was as if someone cast the lumos charm in your head as an idea suddenly came to you.

After all the years of ignoring, skipping, or falling asleep during lessons, one out of the small handful that you actually paid attention to, suddenly jumped out at you.

“Animagus.” You blurted out suddenly, startling the boy beside you.

His eyebrows were furrowed as he turned his head away from the green grass and over to you, “What?”

“There’s a way you can help Remus.” The gears could practically be seen turning in your head, “It’s common knowledge that werewolves won’t hurt other animals, so what if you became one?”

His eyes widened and he looked at you as if you grew two heads, “What are you-“

“And the others could join you!” You babbled excitedly, assuming that Remus already told everybody else, “You could each have your own animal and you won’t feel so helpless anymore.”

It was silent for a moment, silence from Sirius Black could only mean one of two things.

One being that he was dying, or that he was in deep thought.

You hoped it was the latter.

Though you genuinely wanted to help Remus, you couldn’t deny that some small part of you also just wanted to find an excuse for Sirius and Remus to spend more time together. Even if they were already dorm mates.

All you wanted was for the boy you saw as a little brother to be happy, and you had a feeling that a certain werewolf could do that for him.

A grin slowly spread onto Sirius’s face, “I think that might not be a bad idea.” The grin faltered, “But how will we know how?”

You threw an arm around his shoulder, “Leave that to me, Siri. One benefit of having an awesomely amazing best friend who is in year seven is that I can get into the most restricted sections of the library.”

He looked up at you with such gratitude that you couldn’t help but feel your heart swell, “Thank you, Oldie.” His voice was more genuine and serious then anything you had heard in a long time.

You grinned, looking down at him and hugging him to your side tighter, “Anything for my favorite annoying little kid.”

My Little Bit of Magic 🧙‍♀️- @your-local-questioning-agender @its-hell

#platonic #platonic imagine #x reader #teen reader #marauders x reader platonic #marauders era #the maruaders #sirius black x reader platonic #sirius and remus #wolfstar #sirius x remus #sirius black #sirius black x reader #remus lupin #james potter #peter pettigrew #james potter x reader platonic #james potter x reader #remus lupin x reader platonic #remus lupin x reader #peter pettigrew x reader #peter pettigrew x reader platonic

[bwbatta]

The one where you get together (1)

Abstract: Y/N and Sirius have been friends since they first met on the Hogwarts Express, so when they do get together, they decide not to tell their friends straight away. (Friends AU)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Lupin sister!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, talking about sexual content

Word Count: 3.5K

A/N: To celebrate reaching 500 followers, I'm dropping another mini series as a thank you to everyone who has shared and supported my work! Add yourself to my taglist here 

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

You could still vividly remember the first time you met Sirius Black.

Boarding the train to Hogwarts the first time, you managed to find a compartment with your brother, Remus, before it was descended upon by two rowdy boys with large grins.

James Potter and Sirius Black had, with no hesitation, introduced themselves to you and you quickly became friends, especially when you pulled your money together and bought a various selection of chocolates from the trolley. When the sorting hat placed all of you in Gryffindor, it only reaffirmed your friendship.

It wasn't just the four of you in your little group though, the boys were placed in a dormitory with another boy, Peter, and you shared a dorm with two other girls who also became fierce friends of yours; Lily Evans and Marlene McKinnon.

Of course, growing up together through Hogwarts had it's arguments and fall outs, though somehow you always seemed to remain friends.

It wasn't until your seventh, and final year of Hogwarts did the surprising pair of Lily and James get together which solidified your friendship group even further. Between Sirius and you, the bet you had made in your fourth year regarding when the pair would get together, finally came to an end where you had happily took your winnings with a smile and paid for a bottle of Firewhiskey to celebrate.

After graduating, you ended up moving in with Marlene, finding a perfect two bedroom flat for you to share, close to Diagon Alley. The boys had taken a page from your book with Sirius using some of his inheritance from his great uncle and buying a flat directly across the Leaky Cauldron.

Whilst he had invited Peter to also live with him and Remus, the boy politely refused with the intention to stay with his parents for a while.

James however, had asked Lily to move in with him almost the second they graduated and the pair had moved to a little cottage in Godric’s Hollow. It wasn’t long afterwards that James had proposed to Lily which led to the current series of events.

About an hour before, you and Marlene had walked down the aisle in the gardens of Potter Manor in your bridesmaids dresses, while Lily had donned a white dress and followed you. Standing opposite your brother and Sirius, the latter caught your eye when your friends said their wedding vows.

With a wink, Sirius had your attention and you weren't exactly sure what it was that felt different, but something definitely did.

As the reception started, you watched Lily and James take some of their wedding photos together. The smile on your face was something you couldn't help as Remus appeared at your side, a similar expression on his own face.

"Remember when Lily hexed James so hard he vomited out of his nose because he proposed to her?"

"I'm pretty sure it made him like her even more to be honest, James is weird like that." You snickered, accepting the drink from your brother. "Who would've thought we'd be here not even four years later?"

"Tell me about it. If you plan on getting married anytime soon though, please give me some warning." Remus joked, nudging his shoulder against yours.

"I think I need to actually date someone before I marry them, but thanks for being so optimistic about my dating life." You grinned at him before seeing Sirius making his way over to the two of you.

"Well well, if it isn't the Lupin twins." Sirius laid an arm over both your shoulders. "How long do you reckon it'll be before Lily's creepy uncle makes a move on Marlene?"

"At least after two more drinks." Remus chuckled. "Which reminds me, I promised I'd save her from any men tonight who wanted to dance with her that, and I quote, looked like they had to use a stamina charm in bed."

"Good luck with that." You snickered, waving your brother off as he disappeared in the direction of the blonde.

Sirius didn't say anything else as he took a seat at one of the tables and pulled you down into his lap. It wasn't uncommon for the two of you to hug or cuddle, having done so numerous times in the Gryffindor common room, much to Remus' annoyance. This only really resulted in Sirius being more affectionate.

Being twins, the two of you were naturally closer than normal siblings which resulted in Remus being protective over you since the only blood family you both had left was each other. Your parents, especially your father, had grown fearsome and disgusted at what Remus was, despite it not being his fault when Greyback bit him all those years ago. Your father began to resent you after you constantly took Remus' side and played his constant advocate.

"Hey, what're you thinking about?" Sirius nudged you, grabbing your attention. His expression was unreadable as he watched you watch Lily and James interact with each other.

"I don't know, it's nothing." Sirius nudged you again, looking for a proper answer. "I look at them and I just wonder if I'll ever have that, you know? Someone who looks at you like you're their whole world."

Sirius didn't say anything at first, but pulled you closer. He wouldn't admit it but he often had the same thought cross his mind.

"You'll find them."

"Are they fucking hiding from me?!"

"If they've already met you, then probably."

Smacking his chest, you couldn't help the contagious laughter that bubbled from you, echoing that from the wizard.

"Being serious though," Sirius grinned at the pun he just made, "who wouldn't want you?"

You smiled at him warmly, not knowing what to say. It wasn't often that Sirius was, well serious. The boy loved a joke, but he also loved his friends and knew exactly what to say to them to cheer them up, especially you.

"Thanks, Siri."

"Hey, James and Lily are about to head off for their honeymoon." Remus said, knocking on Sirius' bedroom door at Potter Manor, stepping inside to see Sirius rush back out from the ensuite bathroom only in his shirt and boxers. "What happened to you? You disappeared from the reception."

"Uh, dropped cake down myself, had to come and change." Sirius told him quickly.

"You do realise you're a wizard right? You could've just vanished the mess?"

"Ah yeah, of course, how stupid, sure could've. Anyway, I just need to put on some clean trousers and I'll be right down."

Remus frowned. Something was off but he couldn't work out what it was. Putting it down to Sirius drinking too much, he waved the man off, exiting the room.

"Alright well, hurry down, James was asking for you."

Remus exited the room and Sirius quickly closed the door behind him. Turning back to the bathroom, he watched as you opened the door with a tentative expression, trying to zip your dress back up but failing.

"Do you think he knew I was here?"

"Don't think so, here, turn around, I'll do it." Sirius turned you around, quickly zipping up your dress before resting his hands on your waist. "So, we haven't done that before."

"That is correct."

It was slightly awkward between the two of you, why was it awkward? Oh, maybe because you were both fucking like rabbits not even moments before your brother knocked on the door. It had never been awkward between you before though and you didn't like it.

"Why is it so awkward?" Sirius chuckled as you spun around before him.

"Right! It's like I don't know what to say!"

"We're just two friends who've had sex one time, there doesn't have to be anything awkward about that!"

"Exactly, it doesn't have to be a big deal, it was a one time thing, we can just go back to the party and no one will know!"

"Yes, good plan, lets go!" Turning towards the door, Sirius started towards it with a new determination, completely forgetting one issue.

"Sirius?" He paused, looking back at you, "maybe you should put on some trousers before we go down though."

"Good idea."

Waving James and Lily off, you stood alongside the rest of your friends as Marlene appeared, pulling you towards her by your waist.

"Ugh, please tell me we're going to get some good booze and continue to get fucked up at ours?"

"Is that an open invite?" Remus asked with a grin, "Think I spied an extra bottle of Firewhiskey knocking about near the top table."

"100%," Marlene grinned at him, "after all, it's the least I could do after you saved me from so many creeps tonight. I will thank you in the form of hosting a small afterparty with the inner circle. Right, Y/N?"

"I'm up for it, I'll go see if I can grab that extra bottle you mentioned."

Taking off towards the top table, your eyes scanned the tables one by one until you felt a presence behind you. Already knowing who it was, you didn't bother looking back at them.

"I've got a fresh bottle stashed under my bed upstairs if we wanna grab that one?" Sirius said lowly in your ear.

"That sounds like a plan," you said slowly, "though I thought we said it was only a one time thing?"

"Weddings don't count, right? I swear that's a rule somewhere."

"...How long do you think we can be before the others get suspicious?"

"10 minutes?"

"Sounds good, lets go."

The pair of you said nothing more the entire night on the matter and ended up just having a good time with your friends. The boys ended up sleeping on your sofas, not trusting themselves to apparate safely considering the amount they each had to drink.

It wasn't until mid morning when everyone started to rouse, that you offered to make everyone a cup of tea to help with the hangovers that had started to form.

"Hey, make mine extra strong, will you?"

You laughed, turning to face Sirius.

"You need the caffeine that much?"

"That answer is a strong yes."

Pouring the boiling water into the mugs, you passed Sirius' over to him as he smiled at you in thanks.

"So, yesterday was something." You smiled, taking a sip of your own drink.

"Yeah... something stupid, right?"

"Yeah, totally stupid." There was a brief silence between you as you weren't exactly sure what to say next. "Look as much as I enjoyed it, I don't want us to become awkward or ruin our friendship or anything because of it."

"Good, because I was going to say the same thing." Sirius nodded, leaning against the kitchen counter top. "As good as the sex was, and trust me it was good, it's not worth making our friendship awkward or anything not knowing where we stand with the other."

"Right, yes, that makes a lot of sense." You both took another sip of tea as you listened to Marlene and Remus in the living room laugh about something. "Unless... wait no, it's nothing."

"No, what it is?" Sirius asked.

"Unless... I don't know, we keep fucking in secret and just don't tell the others?"

You stared at the tea in your cup before raising your eyes to meet Sirius' grey ones which were wide, a grin on his face.

"I guess that would work too?"

"Yeah... anyway on a totally unrelated note, Marlene's visiting her family tomorrow night at like 7."

"Noted."

"Where's my bloody tea, Y/N!" The blonde in question strode into the kitchen sluggishly. "I swear you've been in here for 4 hours making it."

"If you were a little more patient, Mar, I was just about to bring it out for you." You rolled your eyes but handed the mug over to her anyway.

"Thanks, how're you two feeling this morning?"

"Rough." Sirius grunted out as the three of you headed back into the living room. "But what's new there, really?!"

"You should really try cut back on your drinking, Pads." Remus mentioned, taking the cup of tea from you with a smile.

"You should cut back on your chocolate."

"Chocolate doesn't give you hangovers." Remus countered with a smirk causing Sirius to just roll his eyes as he sunk down into an armchair.

"Either way, I hope Lils and James are having fun." Marlene stretched out on the other sofa, placing her legs over your own. "I know James will be with the things Y/N and I packed as a surprise in Lily's bags."

You snorted into your cup as you remembered the countless lacy items you'd snuck into Lily's normally conservative wardrobe.

"Well, James might be happy about what you packed, but he certainly won't be happy with what we packed." Sirius snickered as Remus held back a laugh.

"What did you do?!"

"We might've exchanged his entire bag of clothes for an entire bag of Cornish Pixies." Sirius grinned. "I'm already expecting a howler from Lily at some point in the near future."

Sirius didn’t have to wait long for Lily’s reaction as only moments later he heard an angry shout through his two way mirror he shared with James.

As planned, Marlene visited her family the next day and no later after she flooed away, Sirius appeared at the front door of your flat. The same happened after Marlene was picked by Dumbledore for an order mission and Sirius happily flooed into your flat only moments later. You were convinced he’d bugged your flat somehow.

James and Lily returned from their honeymoon a week later, effectively surprising you as they flooed into your flat with no warning, causing you to stuff a naked Sirius into your closet. It was safe to say he wasn’t impressed after Lily insisted she make a pot of tea to ‘catch up’, and ended up staying round for several hours. 

You barely managed to hide the snicker which escaped your lips when James asked if you knew where Sirius was.

With the newly married pair being back, the two of you decided to come up with a plan as how to sneak around without the others knowing.

Somehow, it didn’t really go to plan.

Sirius insisted that you should come over and take a bath with him one night, especially as Remus was due to be out. You couldn’t help but agree to the idea, mostly because you got to spend time with your very sexy male friend who looked very good in bubbles... and also the fact his bathtub was a lot better than your own.

The bathtub in question was a massive claw-foot tub which could fit the two of you and your two roommates if you so desired. Compared against the shitty little tub Marlene and you had in your flat, it was a no brainer.

Which is why as you sat in between Sirius’ legs, your back against his chest, you couldn’t help but feel more relaxed than you had done all week. 

Sirius was leant back against the tub, his arm around your waist with a glass of Firewhiskey in his other hand. The two of you had nicked this particular bottle from James’ ‘secret stash’ which everyone knew he hid under his cloak, under the stairs. It was all too easy for the two of you to sneak in and borrow it for the time being. 

“You know, Prongs must be real blind if he can’t see how many people actually know about his hiding spots.” You snickered as you took the glass from Sirius and took a sip.

“I think it might be all the brain damage after getting hit in the head so many times.” He grinned.

“How long do you think it’ll be until he notices the actual bottle being gone? A few days?”

“Give him some credit, it’ll be at least a week.”

The two of you chuckled before you heard the fireplace roar with flames. Footsteps quickly made their way towards Sirius’ room before heading towards the bathroom.

A panicked look between the two of you was exchanged as a knock was heard on the door. 

“Pads? It’s me, I’m coming in.”

Sirius quickly took the glass of Firewhiskey back from you as you dived underwater, praying the bubbles would cover up the fact you were there. 

The door opened and James stepped in about to say something, before he stopped and observed the scene before him. Sirius was sat covered in bubbles with candles lit around him. Despite the calm expression on his face, the fact you were lying between his legs in the water had his heart racing. 

“Did you need something, Prongs?”

“Uh, yeah, have you seen the bottle of Firewhiskey which I was given as a gift for my wedding?” James asked, very obviously looking at the opened bottle on the side of the bath. 

“Didn’t even know you got given one, mate. This was from Y/N.”

“And if I ask her, will she give me the same story?”

“Positively. Anything else?”

“Yeah, you want to order some Chinese?” 

“I mean I- NO!” 

His outburst was a surprise to both James and himself after you had pinched him underwater signalling you were running out of air.

“Really? Lily’s got me on this diet and-”

“James! Get out!”

“Fine! Okay! No need to shout at me, I’ve seen you in weirder scenarios.”

James left and shut the door behind him just as soon as you jolted up, gasping for breath. 

“I’m sorry, he wouldn’t leave! He wanted to ask me if I fancied some Chinese.”

“Chinese?” You asked, turning to look at him over your shoulder with a contemplative look on your face. “I could go for some chow mein.”

“Prongs!” Taking a deep breath, you disappeared underwater again just before James appeared once more. “I’ll have a large chow mein, sweet and sour chicken, some of those prawn cracker things and the spring rolls.”

“Spring rolls? I swear only Y/N likes them.”

“Thought I’d try them out since as she’s always yapping on about them.”

“Alright, back in a bit.”

James left and shut the door again. You emerged from the water, leaning back on Sirius again as he relayed off what he’d ordered. 

“You ordered me spring rolls?!”

“Yeah, I remembered you liked them.” Sirius shrugged, wrapping his arm around your waist again. “Even if they taste like arse.”

The group had gathered at Marlene and Y/N’s for an evening where despite Lily’s constant health kicks, she relented into ordering pizza for the group. 

“Hey, you guys will never guess what I found out today.” Marlene grinned.

“You’re secretly a guy?” Sirius snickered from the armchair, only to receive a cushion being thrown at his face by the blonde. 

“No,” Marlene scowled at him, “Alice and Frank got engaged!” 

“What?! How’d you find out?” Lily asked as she cuddled up to James in the other armchair. 

“I ran into Alice at Headquarters earlier and she showed me her ring.” Marlene leant back into the sofa as she brought her legs up to lay them over Remus’ lap. “We best be getting ready for another wedding soon.”

“I’m sure we’ll hear more at the meeting tomorrow.” James said grinning. “Who knew Longbottom had it in him?!”

“Alice certainly did.” You snickered, leaning onto Remus’ other shoulder. The comment got another round of chuckles from everyone present as Lily shot you a less than impressed look. 

“Alright, I say let’s call it a night if we have to be at the meeting early tomorrow morning.” The redhead rolled her eyes at you all before standing up and brushing her dress down. 

Everyone else seemed to follow her lead as Marlene and you stood to show everyone out. 

“Yeah, I need to sleep as much as I can with Moony’s snoring keeping me up all night.” Sirius grinned, stepping up beside you and Remus. 

What no one expected to happen was for Sirius to dip and find your lips in a kiss, his hand wrapping around the back of your neck to pull you closer, just as he had done for the last few weeks. 

The rest of the group stood with slack jaws as they took in the scene before them as they watched Sirius kiss you. Pulling away, you caught each other’s eyes as realisation set in and your own eyes went wide. 

“Marls,” Sirius shook off his slight hesitation before heading straight over to Marlene and pulling her in for a kiss of her own. “Lily.”

Stepping forward to give Lily a kiss goodbye, Sirius couldn’t help but notice the wide eyed look from both James at kissing his wife and Remus at kissing his sister. 

“Pleasure to spend time with you all.” Sirius grinned at everyone’s expressions before entering the fireplace to floo back to his own flat. 

“What the hell was that?!” Remus asked with wide eyes, securely on you. 

“Probably some leftover greeting from Lily and James’ wedding. Lils did have some french cousins, perhaps he picked it up from them?” You chuckled, trying to play down the laugh you so wanted to let out. 

“Yeah, it did feel french.” Marlene snickered. “I’m not sure if I feel happy about saying that I’ve kissed Sirius Black though.”

“Well, he can keep his lips to himself and not on my wife.” James scowled at the fireplace where Sirius had disappeared moments before. 

HP Taglist:

@ochrythum​ @hahee154hq​ @loonyslytherin​ @fleur-tysworld​ @la3divine @fiantomartell​

Permanent Taglist: 

@whatthefuckimbisexual​

#sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #sirius black headcanon #friends au #sirius black x you #sirius black #harry potter #remus lupin x reader #marlene mckinnon x reader #lily evans x reader #james potter x reader #sirius black series #harry potter imagine #harry potter series #remus lupin imagine #harry potter headcanon #james potter imagine

[amphxtrite]

sirius black x fem!reader

warnings: fingering, teasing, mentions of one night stand, alcohol.

do not read if you are uncomfortable.

summary: a movie night after hooking up with your crush.

word count: 1.9k

a/n: wrote this one for the lovely @le-weasley-simp sorry it’s late love, had work today :)

hope you enjoy!

———————————————————————————

Today was shaping up to be the worst day ever.

It all started when you woke up in Sirius Black’s bed, completely naked with him lying beside you, also wearing nothing but an elastic in his thick hair.

“Oh Godric…” You murmur, sitting up in the bed and holding your head as you try to recall what happened.

Memories of gryffindor winning the quidditch match, a party, shots of firewhiskey and a game of seven minutes in heaven begin trickling into your head. Your hands in someone's long hair, your tongue dancing with another, the feeling of being filled up over and over again and pleasure coursing all over you as you moaned out one name. ‘Sirius.’

“Fuck.” You sigh, holding your head in your hands. You managed to hook up with your best friend, and the worst part was, you liked it.

You knew you had a crush on Sirius for years, but you always thought of him as the one you could never have, now with him laying clad in nothing beside you, your emotions were all over the place, in your head, heart and the deepest part of your core.

“Y/n? Merlin, what time is it?” A low voice rasps from beside you.

“It’s only six am Sirius, you might as well go back to bed.” You mutter, trying your best not to focus on the gryffindor’s morning voice.

“What, no pet names today darling? You seemed to use them quite a bit last night.” Sirius teases, running his long digits up your arm.

“Haha, very funny Pads.” You breathe, spotting Sirius’s jumper below you and picking it up.

“No it’s true, I mean there was Padfoot, Sir, Daddy…” He drawls on, watching you playfully as you slip on his sweater.

Your face burns as the words leave his mouth and you couldn’t help but pray Sirius didn’t notice.

“Oh there’s nothing to be shy about, love.” Sirius chuckles, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you back down towards him.

“Siri!” You squeak, feeling the gryffindor’s chest nuzzle into your now clothed back.

“What?” He laughs back, trying to imitate you as you turn around and roll your eyes.

A silence falls over you and while you try to break it, Sirius decides to have a little fun. Using his hand, he pulls yours over to his abdomen and holds it there as he leans in closer.

He can’t help but smile as your eyes widen to the size of saucers and your breathing quickens along with your heartbeat, only for Sirius to whisper.

“I’m getting hungry, let’s go find everyone.”

Your breathing hitches and Sirius gleefully rolls off the bed to throw on the first shirt and pants he sees.

“Yeah- sounds good.” You mumble, staggering behind him as he rummages through his closet and throws you a pair of his boxers and shorts.

“Oh Sirius, it’s okay, I can just-” Sirius cuts you off as you catch them.

“Nonsense pup, you have to let me take care of you sometimes.” He chuckles, throwing a wink in your direction as he laces up his trainers.

You can feel your entire body heat up in a mix of embarrassment and shame, embarrassed Sirius had this effect on you, and shamed because you liked it, no, you loved it.

You do your best to distract yourself from the growing feeling of need pooling between your legs as you slip on his boxer and shorts and gently push your hair back to compose yourself.

The entire day, the little shit known as Sirius Black teased you, whispering his dirty thoughts into your ear if you sat too close to him, throwing his arm around your shoulder when you walked down the halls and purposefully going to his room to change into his loose white t-shirt that cut just enough to see the top of his chest. He knew exactly what he was doing as he pulled you from behind into him and rested his chin on your shoulder. He memorized that nervous look in your eyes that told him to sod off and continue at the same time, and by nightfall you were a mess of need, but you were far too conflicted to say anything.

As per tradition on weekends, you decide to head to the Marauder’s room that night to hang out with the guys and Lily, despite the fact you were having second thoughts on your decision.

You arrive just after the sunset to see James, Lily and Sirius. The couple were setting up Lily’s projector for a movie as Sirius lay on his bed. 

Hearing the door open, his ears prick up and a sneaky grin creeps up on his face.

“Y/n, sit by me tonight?” Sirius asks with a small pout, causing the red-head to roll her eyes.

“She sits with you every movie night Padfoot, there’s no need for that.”

“I guess you’re right Evans, but you know I like to have my fun.” He winks, pulling an exasperated sigh from Lily.

You smile at the exchange and make your way to Sirius who has now sat up and opened his arms for you.

“You look marvelous tonight, pup.” He teases as you nervously sit beside him on the bed.

“It's just a t-shirt and shorts Siri-”

“But you look absolutely ravishing in them.” He mumbles, leaning in close to your ear so the others wouldn’t hear him.

You gulp nervously and squeeze your legs together, partly because of nerves, but also because the heat between your legs was becoming too much to bear. 

Remus and Peter return with snacks and drinks as the movie begins to start, a classic action movie that the group had yet to see.

Halfway into the opening credits Sirius shifts his body so he is right against his headboards, before spreading his legs and pulling you into him by your waist.

You did your best not to yelp as you hit his back, but you couldn’t help but sigh in content as his lips trailed down your neck. On movie nights the boys moved their beds so there would be an empty wall for the projector to hit, Sirius almost always took the spot closest to the corner of the room, you never thought much of it, but when his hand moved to the drawstring of the curtain beside his bed, the two of you were hidden and now he could do whatever he pleased. 

Your breathing begins to pick up a bit and unconsciously you begin to squirm against his body.

Sirius grabs you by your hips to stop you.

“You better stop that, pup, or else I’m, gonna have to punish you for everyone to hear.” He murmurs, letting one of his hands trail up and down your body then further to caress your neck.

“Understood?” He smirks, bringing his lips back down to your shoulder.

You nod your head ‘yes.”

“Perfect.” He sighs, pulling the blanket over your legs and letting his fingers wander to the waistband of your shorts.

You nibble on your lip as Sirius bites the sensitive skin at the base of your neck before kissing it and teasing his tongue up your throat.

At the same time his fingers slip into your shorts and fidget with the cloth underneath.

“You’re still wearing my boxers, pup?” Sirius mumbles, letting his fingers move over your clothed folds.

“And so wet for me already? Such a good girl.” He continues, massaging his fingers in a circular movement around the damp fabric.

“Fuck-” You moan out silently as Sirius hits your clit perfectly.

“Feel good darling?” He chuckles, kissing your jaw.

“Y-Yeah… So good.” You whimper, moving your hand to your mouth to muffle your moans.

Sirius smirks and retrieves his fingers, you start to squirm in protest only for him to push his long digits into your folds.

“Mh-” You squeak.

Sirius doesn’t hesitate to move his fingers up and down your folds, teasing your clit with his fingers and swirling it around in soft circles.

Your legs spread further, begging him to keep going as you throw your head back onto his shoulder, choking back moans of ecstacy that begged to be let out.

His thick fingers slip in deeper and you arch your back needily. His fingers trace your slit teasingly for a couple seconds before he plunges two fingers in without hesitation.

A soft gasp escapes your lips, luckily masked by the sound from the film and Sirius begins pushing his fingers in and out of you.

Your vision clouds as his fingers curl and hit your g-spot over and over again, your toes curl as his other hand moves down you play with your clit as the feeling of a third finger being added to the mix has your heartbeat moving to your pussy and a coil tightening in your stomach.

“Siri-faster, p-please.” You beg, grinding your hips into his fingers as he obliges, pumping quicker and shifting between curling his fingers and thrusting deeper.

“O-Oh.” You murmur, clutching the bed sheets beside you tightly as Sirius’s hands work magic on your pussy, roughly playing with your sensitive clit and pumping his long fingers in and out of your slit.

“That’s it, pup.” Sirius chuckles, feeling you begin to squirm again. 

“I-I’m so close.” You pant, biting hard on your bottom lip as the tight feeling of your climax prods at your stomach.

“It’s alright, pup.” Sirius murmurs, pressing a kiss to your neck and picking up the pace one last time as the feeling of pure ecstasy floods your entire body, making your body go weak. You rush to cover your mouth as a moan of relief threatens to reveal you to your friends.

Sirius smirks as a small squeak of a whimper pushes past your fingers and he slows his digits into a slow massage to help you ride down your high.

“You did so well darling, absolutely perfect.” Sirius mutters, finally pulling his fingers out of your core and bringing them to his lips.

You watch in amazement with bated breath as Sirius drags his tongue along his fingers to clean up every drop.

Noticing your stare, the gryffindor smirks and leans in closer against your ear.

“Be good, pup, and next time, you’ll get my tongue.”

Blood rushes to your cheeks as you pull the blanket covering you over your face, ignoring the feeling of your release all over your shorts and you tuck your legs in and snuggle into Sirius’s chest.

“Here.” Sirius smiles, lifting his wand and muttering a short incantation.

In seconds, the feeling was gone, and you were left feeling cozy and warm cuddled up against his chest.

You were absolutely ecstatic to finally have your wish fulfilled, but there was still one question that had left to be answered.

“Something on your mind?” Sirius asks, feeling the silence grow.

“Yeah, it’s just…” You pause, shifting so now you are sitting, facing Sirius. “What- What are we Sirius? I mean you are my best friend and after last night, today and for years, I’ve known I’ve fancied you but-”

Sirius sighs playfully as you speak, but cuts you off mid sentence with a soft peck to your lips.

“Y/n, I’ve known I fancy you for the longest time, but it wasn’t until last night that I really got to show you. So… If you’d have me-” 

This time it was your time to cut Sirius off.

Your arms fly around the gryffindor’s neck and your lips crash happily into his.

Sirius’s hands move around your hips and pull you closer to him as you deepen the kiss and rest your forehead on his.

“So does this mean?” Sirius begins.

“Yes! Yes Pads, of course I’ll have you.” You murmur, locking your lips once more.

Maybe, today wasn’t so bad after all.

#sirius black imagine #sirius black x reader #sirius black smut #young sirius black #young sirius x reader #sirius black x y/n #young sirius black x reader #young sirius black x reader smut #marauders era smut #nsfw.anya

[natashxromanovf]

Injuries

Pairing: Sirius Black× fem! reader

Warnings: swearing, vomiting, alcohol, injuries

Word count: 2k

A/N: I’m kinda proud of this one. I can definitely see the progress. I hope you like it! I started writing it 2 weeks ago, but lost motivation and now I’m here finishing it today. Also @voidmalfoy wanted to be tagged in here. Thank you for deciding to read it.

You and Sirius were best friends since the second year. You have never imagined him as something else. Something more.

Your dorm was very bright from the sun shining through the windows. You could feel the warmth on your body. It was a perfect afternoon.

“Hey Y/N.”

“Hello, Marlene”

“I need to ask you something” 

“Sure”

“What’s going on with you and Sirius?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, are you two a couple or something?”

“What?” the question caught you off guard. “No. You know we are not.”

“Babe, I have seen the way you’re looking at him. You look like your heart is about to melt into your hands.”

“What, no-” and then it hit. The realization that you are, indeed, in love with your best friend. it didn’t happen all of a sudden, no. The feelings were built through the years. It started with a little crush, you developed in fifth year. You pushed it at the back of your mind, convincing yourself it’ll go away. But it didn’t. It just kept growing and growing, until it was too big for you to deny it anymore.   

“Fuck” you sighed “No, no, no this is not happening! It can’t be happening. I can’t. He doesn’t feel the same I’m just going to end up heartbroken.” a million thoughts were running through your head. But the loudest and strongest one was He doesn’t feel the same. How am I gonna tell him?

You decided not to worry about it. Not tonight. Tonight is time for fun. The marauders planed one hell of a good party (Sirius was in charge of the drinks, Remus planned the whole thing and James and Peter made sure that teachers won’t hear a thing) and there’s no way you are gonna ruin yourself the night. Tonight is time for drinking and celebrating Gryffindor's win in the match against Ravenclaw. 

When you got there the common room was already pretty full. Your eyes started to search for Sirius before you even realized it. And there he was, flirting with a girl as always. The new feeling hit you. You immediately knew what it was. It felt like a stab in the chest, like someone was trying to tear your heart out of your chest. No, don’t you thought. What did I promise myself? You got lost in your thoughts before someone tapped your shoulder.

“Hey Y/N/N.”

“Oh, hey Lily.”

She looked at Sirius and then at your face. “Marls told me” she sighed.

“Oh news travels fast around here.” you rolled your eyes.

“Let’s go somewhere else. Drinks!”

Soon all of your friends joined. You danced, drank, you had fun. Maybe a little too much. You tripped and fell, but somebody caught you.

“Wow, you okay, love?”

Sirius.

“Yeah, I’m all good, Siri” you giggled. Trying to steady yourself, you once again lost balance but there were hands quickly to wrap around your waist.

“Okay, I think you had enough.”

What? No. I didn’t know you were such a party killer.”

“Believe me, I’m not, but I think you should go up.”

“Whatever.” He escorted you.

“Thank-” you couldn’t even finish the sentence. As soon as you came up you ran straight to the bathroom. You don’t tolerate alcohol very well. You knew that. You started throwing up and someone's hands grabbed your hair.

“See. Told you.” joked Sirius but there was a hint of worry in his voice.

“I’m okay. Thank you.” you smiled. “But I think I’m gonna stay here for a little bit. I don’t think it’s over yet.”

“Then I’m staying too.” he sounded pretty sober, looking at a fact he drank nearly as much as you.

“No, you don’t have to. Go, have some more fun.”

“It’s okay.”

“You sure?” you raised your eyebrows.

“Yes.” 

Soon your urge to puke went away so you fell asleep. 

The morning came quicker than you wanted. Your head was pounding and you felt sick. What you didn’t expect was to wake up to the black-haired boy sleeping on the floor beside your bed. You couldn’t help yourself but stare at the beautiful being sleeping in front of you.  

No worries, no school, no quiddi- “Quidditch!!” you shouted “Sirius wake up! Wake up, idiot!” you screamed, throwing a pillow in his face.

“What?!”

“Quidditch, Sirius, quidditch” 

He looked at you confused.

“Practice, James saying it was important, don’t you remember??”

“Oh, shit!”

“YES! We have exactly five minutes to get ready. Oh God, my head! Do you have any painkillers?

“Yes, in my dorm. We get ready and then meet me down in five?"

“Yes, now go!”

As fast as you could, you got ready, took your broom, and ran down the stairs. Sirius was already waiting for you with a water bottle and three pain killers. “Thanks.”

“No worries, now run.”

--------------------------------------------------

“Where have you been!?! You’re late!”

“I know, I’m so sorry James”

“Do you even have a good excuse? I told you this training is very important!”

“Does hangover count?” half-joked, half asked Sirius.

“What? Oh, the party. No, it doesn’t count! And where even were you, you didn’t come back to our dorm last night.”

The boy looked at you and then started speaking “In girls’ dorm.”

“What were you- You know what I don’t wanna know, just get ready quick!”

You quickly swallowed the medications, saddled the broom, and pushed yourself from the ground. 

--------------------------------------------------

The practice was quite enjoyable. The fresh air helped with your headache. Or was it just the medications, you didn’t know. The ending of the practice was approaching when James called you all down for a quick word. 

“So, many of you are probably wondering why the hell was this training so important. No, it wasn’t just because I wanted to have it, it was also because professor Mcgonagall informed me, that Hufflepuff’s seeker broke her arm, so they can’t play in their game against Slytherin next week. Which means that we have to play instead of them. 

You enjoyed playing quidditch. Tho matches against Slytherin were never fun. It always ended with at least half of the team in the hospital wing. By any chance, that half of the team often included you. The raven-haired boy, who stood next to you, bumped your shoulder.

“Excited for the game, y/l/n”

“I don’t know, these matches always end the same.”

“With injuries and annoyed Madam Pomfrey.” you two said in sync. The laughter filled your lungs, echoing through the changing room.

--------------------------------------------------

The week went through pretty boring yet normal. Lessons, tons of homework, intense practices, a couple of pranks, and fun evenings with friends. Saturday came again quickly and nerves settled into your body. You were tense, anyone could see that from a mile away. You tried to eat, but your stomach refused. 

“Come on darling, relax.” said Sirius massaging your shoulders and neck.

“I don’t even know why I’m so stressed, it’s just a normal game. But I have a feeling something will go terribly wrong!”

“Hey, hey, look at me” whisper- yelled Sirius. “Everything is going to be okay. You’ll do good, I’ll do good, James’ll do good.” staring at those beautiful grey eyes of his, you calmed. They took your worries away and your lips formed a gentle smile. His expression soon mirrored yours, looking away from you.

“Thank you so much Pads, I have no idea how you do it but it works. You’re the only person that can calm me.” He would probably throw some flirty remark back if James hadn’t cut him off.

“Attention, attention my dear teammates. The match will take place at 9.30 so we have exactly 30 minutes-”

“29″

“29 minutes, thank you, Williams, to get ready. So lift your ass up, take your brooms and lets go to changing rooms!” James yelled, clearly determined to win today's game. He can be sweet and nice but when it comes to quidditch there is no joke.

When you changed into quidditch ropes the team went through all your tactics again. Soon enough you heard Madam Hooch's whistle that announced the game is gonna begin. Two captains shook hands, roughly than they should.

The game was pretty tight Gryffindor only leading by 10 points. If James doesn't catch the snitch soon you're all screwed.

"Williams throwing a quaffle to y/n, y/n passing it to Andrews and Andrews right back to y/n... And y/n scores!! The result is now 180 for Gryffindor and 160 for Slytherin." Right as the commentator announced your goal you saw James diving after something very small, something golden... a snitch! "And Potter caught the snitch, Gryffindor wins!!" Loud cheering was heard from all directions. Cheering people in scarlet and gold, some Gryffindors some even Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs.

Right as you were about to land someone knocked you from your broom. As you started falling you saw a familiar face behind you. You didn't give it much a thought tho as blackness took over all your senses.

--------------------------------------------------

The moment you woke up you felt a pair of familiar hands around your own. Your head was pounding, your vision was blurry and you had to blink a couple more times than normal. You tried to sit up but your body strongly disagreed.

"Siri? What happened?" the black-haired boy quickly looked up and a smile formed on his face.

"You're awake, thank god." he said with such a caring voice and your stomach immediately started doing flips. "You were diving when somebody knocked you off your broom. Nobody saw who it was tho." as the memories started forming themselves in your mind you remembered who you saw. It was Goyle.

"I know who it was. But you have to promise me you won't do anything stupid!" Sirius' face darkened. Hesitatingly he said "I promise. Now please tell me."

"It was Goyle." Goyle has always been short-tempered. He probably couldn't take the Slytherin's loss so he took his anger out on you.

"I'm gonna kill him! That son of a bitch. I knew it, I knew it!!"

"Sirius Black! You promised you won't do anything stupid. Now please calm down. Nothing bad happened."

"Nothing bad happened?! Y/n you're in a hospital wing!"

"Yea, but I'm okay." That was obviously a lie. Every part of your body hurts. With every move, every word, something hurts. As you could saw, Sirius didn't buy it but decided to play along anyway.

"Oh, you're okay? Fine, then please sit up for me."

Again you tried but couldn't do it. "I can't."

"Oh, I know you can't." a smirk appeared on his face but was soon replaced with a worried expression. "You fell from 8 meters, you can't be okay."

"You know me too well, it's creepy really. You know more about me than I do myself." he laughed, leaving you no other choice than to join him.

"Please don't make me laugh, it hurts." you said through chuckles and pain.

Soon enough, you both calmed down and a comforting silence fell over you two. That was until Sirius interrupted "You got me worried there, you know."

"I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault what in the world are you sorry for, love?"

"Don't know. For destroying a happy feeling after our win?"

"You didn't. I'm just happy you'll be okay." he smiled. Overwhelmed with emotions you said something you didn't intend to. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"No Sirius, I'm in love with you." no stopping now, you thought. He was caught by surprise, hundreds of thoughts running through his mind. You miss judged the silence, looking away with glassy eyes. He broke out of his thoughts by the sight of you almost crying.

"I- I'm in love with you too."

"What?" you have to hear him say it again. Was this just your head playing with you? You waited so long for these words to come out of his mouth, you didn't know if they were real.

"I love you too." he said right before pressing his lips against yours. It didn't take you long to melt into the kiss. Your lips felt like they were made for each other.

Like you two were made for each other.

#sirius black imagine #sirius black × reader #sirius black

[bqstqnbruin]

Teach me something 2

It is 2:30 in the morning and here I am dropping something that is so cheesey we should call it fondue (ignore me I’m tired)

BUT this is the fic that I was talking about that I decided is going to turn into a four part mini series, so I hope you like this. Sorry for typos, but y’all know me well enough by now to expect them.

Read the other parts: part 1 // part 3 // part 4

---------

“Hey, guys, come on! I asked you to do this silently, this is not something we’re doing as partners,” you yell over your students. “The only reason you should be talking right now is if you are asking me a question and Josh is the only one doing that right now.”

Your students are not listening to you; it was the end of the day and a beautiful day at that. With the weather getting warmer and nicer compared to the winter you just had, the last thing your students wanted was to be doing chemistry; they wanted to be outside. 

“Excuse me!” you end up yelling, something you hadn’t done before, causing some of your students to jump, “If you’re trying to be louder than me, it’s not going to work. Do you want to see how loud I can be?” You couldn’t believe you were yelling at your students, but for some reason, you were just at a breaking point. You see Annie across the room, eyes wide, shaking her head no at you being the loudest one, “Annie is saying no, do you guys agree?” 

The students murmur in agreement, not talking and leaving the classroom in an awkward silence. Before turning back to Josh, you close your eyes, taking in a deep breath to try to calm yourself down a little before talking again, “I’m sorry guys, but I did say that this was something you should be trying on your own. If you have questions, ask your partner quietly. There is no need for me to have to shout over you.” 

The entire week had been absolute chaos: the lab you wanted to do with your students didn’t work the way you wanted to, the warm weather was causing your students to act absolutely batshit by the end of the day, you hadn’t seen your husband since Sunday because of how busy he was gearing up for the playoffs with the Flames, and you were just overall falling behind on everything you wanted to do. Nothing was going right for you. 

You sit down for the first time since lunch, your students working quietly the rest of the period, only whispers of sound as they asked each other questions they were probably too afraid to ask you at this point. The bell rings, signaling the end of the week, your students scurrying out as fast as they can, hopefully just to get outside and not to get away from you. 

Searching through your desk, you finally find your phone buried under papers that you had to take home and grade that weekend. The end of the quarter was coming up, and you had at least seven assignments to get through and put in your grade book. Shoving them in your bag, you find Matthew’s contact, hoping that he was finally out of practice to pick up. 

“You have reached the voicemail box of: Matthew Tkachuk,” you hear his voice intertwined with the automation for the voicemail greeting he was too lazy to customize, “Please leave a message after the tone.” 

“Hey, babe,” you say, looking at the ring on your finger, “I’m done for the week, I’m probably going to be heading home soon but I want to try to get some grading done first. Any way you can pick something up for dinner tonight? I’m exhausted and I just don’t feel like cooking, unless you want to. Ok, call me when you’re out of practice. I love you, bye.” 

You keep your phone out on your desk, sound on for if Matthew actually calls you. The entire week had been a game of telephone tag, and you were praying you would finally catch each other before actually seeing each other at home. 

“Hey, Mrs. T?” 

“Oh, hi, Nazeem, what’s up?” you greet one of your students as he comes in and sets his bag down on the lab bench.

“I was wondering if you could help me with those K problems?”

You sit down and get started, working on practice problems and trying to reteach him the equilibrium problems, “Ok, so for this problem, are we at equilibrium?”

“No.”

“How do we know that?” 

“Um, because it says that,” he hesitates, scanning the words of the practice problem again, “the concentration of the NH3 is 0.405 molar, and it asks for the direction of the equilibrium shift?” he guesses.

“Yes, but you’re guessing aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” he admits, causing you to let out the first small laugh you had all week.

“Ok, so with these problems, it’s important that you know you can’t just use K, right? Because K is used for what?”

He stops and thinks for a moment, brow scrunched as he tries to answer your question, “When you have initial concentration and you’re looking for equilibrium?”

“You’re guessing again,” you tell him as he just nods admitting to it, “You clearly know the answers to what I’m asking, there’s no need to guess. Trust your answers, you’re going to need to on your final. But if we aren’t going to use K, what are we going to use?”

“Q.” 

“Exactly. Calculate that, and then call me back, I’m going to grade some stuff, ok?” He nods, putting his head down to his paper to get to work. You go back to your desk and start grading, checking your phone to see if Matthew had at least texted you back. Nothing on your screen but the picture of your first kiss as husband and wife that you had as your background for the last couple of months. You would give anything right now to go back to the month leading up to your wedding last summer; you and Matthew were both off from teaching and hockey, spending a month of bliss together doing whatever you wanted. 

“Mrs. Tkachuk?” you hear Nazeem ask, snapping you out of your daydream, “I think I got Q.”

“Let’s see. Ok, so you found that Q is 0.233, while K is given as 0.00542. So what does that mean for the equilibrium shift?”

“It shifts to the,” he starts, hesitating, only to be interrupted by the sound of your phone playing John’s Legend’s Stay With You, the song that was your first dance at your wedding. “Do you need to get that?” he asks, looking panicked that you would leave him for your phone call.

You knew it was Matthew calling you back, but you were with a student, therefore, still at work, “No, that’s just Mr. Tkachuk. I can call him when I’m on my way home.” The two of you get back to the problem, working for another half an hour before he finally says his mom was there to pick him up.

“Thank’s Mrs. T!” Nazeem calls, rushing out the door to meet his mom in front of the building. 

Finally able to go back to your phone, none of your grading done that you had wanted to get done, copies that you just remembered you had to make for Monday, and a new voicemail to listen to. “Hey, love. Sorry I missed you. I’m just getting out of practice. I have an early day tomorrow and then they just told us today that we’re leaving for Dallas on Monday instead of Tuesday like we were originally supposed to. I’ll see you at home, but is there anything specific that you want me to get? Chinese, Italian, sushi, burgers, etcetera, etcetera. Honestly, all of that sounds good to me. Ok, I love you, bye.” 

You send the stuff you need printed, pretty much sprinting down the now deserted hallways as you were probably the last teacher there. “Hey, Matthew. I guess you’re driving? God, I can’t wait to get home and see you, especially since I’ve seen you all of, what, twenty minutes since last week? And get whatever you want, I don’t care, but oh, can you please do the dishes? They’re piling up in the sink and I’m pretty sure most of them are yours,” you tell him, even though that doesn’t really matter. The copier starts growling at you, spitting out the copies as you pray that it doesn’t crap out on you in the middle of the print job, “Sorry, that’s the copier. Remember the day I told you about being in the Stampede, you wanted to push the buttons on this thing? Maybe next time you come you can play with it, admin said when it breaks for it good we can get a new one. Welp, ok. I love you, see you at home.” 

You get back to your classroom, stuffing the folders with the fresh copies, thinking back to that day a few years ago when Matthew had been doing the same thing. Matthew hadn’t really been in to visit during the school year since, but he was always the first one to offer to come in when you said you needed help with something, even if it was something he couldn’t help with. 

Driving back to your apartment, you just want Matthew to call. Packing up your bag and lugging out the 210 or so things you needed to grade, plus the material you needed to play the lessons for the next week that you were still struggling with actually exhausted you. The only thing you wanted to do was go home and see your husband for a night before he had to be whisked away a day earlier than originally planned to spend what would now be six days in Texas. 

But the NHL and the Flames were pretty good about letting the guys know about schedule changes. It seemed sort of weird that the organization would let them know only a few days ahead of time. You could text Noah or Johnny and ask them about it, but what would that say about your marriage to Matthew that you’ve been together for less than a year and you’re already going behind his back to get information?

You know what? Screw it. “Call Johnny,” you say to Siri, Johnny’s contact coming up on your car dash. 

“Hello?” you hear him ask, clearly tired from the day he had.

“Hey, Johnny, it’s Y/N.”

“Oh, hey, Y/N. What’s up? Is Matthew ok?” 

“He’s fine, I just needed to ask you something,” you start, trying to figure out how to phrase it. You can’t straight up ask him if your husband was lying to you, but how to you put it otherwise? “I just wanted to check in; I heard you guys just found out today that you leave on Monday instead of Tuesday? I figured I’d offer to pick up some last minute things since I’m already doing it for Matty.” 

“Oh, no, thanks. I’m all set. They told us about it last Wednesday, though. Matthew didn’t tell you?” 

So he was lying? Or did he just forget to tell you until today? Either way, he shouldn’t have said that they found out today, he could have just said he didn’t remember. “I mean, I just remembered today. You know, long week, my students driving my crazy, normal stuff. But if you need anything, let me know. Tell Sean and Elias the same for me, too.” 

“Gotcha. Bye, Y/N.” 

He hangs up, leaving you to pull into your spot at your complex just in time to see Matthew running out the door. “Hey, babe!” he says, kissing you as you get out of your car. He was unusually happy for someone who seemed so tired on the phone. And for someone who just lied to his wife. “I’m running out to get the food now; I’ll be back in fifteen?”

“Ok,” you say, without being able to get another word in before he gets in his car and speeds off. You didn’t even know what you were eating, but at this point you would eat anything. You grab your bag, momentarily forgetting how heavy it was, lugging it inside to your place. All you wanted was to have a nice evening with your husband, one of the last ones you would probably be able to have for a while.

Wandering into the kitchen to put clean out your lunch bag, you find the sink full of dishes, indicating that Matthew had not loaded the dishwasher, even though you had asked him to. Sighing, putting your bag down on the counter, you get to work on the dishes. You probably needed something from the sink in the near future, and something told you Matthew wasn’t going to be getting to this any time soon. 

Digging through the dishes, you prayed that none of them had started growing new substances that you didn’t want to deal with. Loading the dishwasher to capacity and still having more dishes, you sigh and just hand wash what was left. Mugs from last the beginning of the weak, plates, utensils, until you saw it: the handle of one of your favorite mugs, the rest of the mug not attached. Careful to dig around the rest of the sink, you found the rest of the mug, smashed under the weight of the dishes that had been sitting there. You had only liked the mug so much because it was the biggest one you had; there was nothing that special about it.

But it was enough for you to break, just like the mug had. All of the stress of the week came out right there, with you crumble to the floor crying, pulling your knees to your chest with your back against the cabinets, pieces of the mug still in your hands. Everything was getting to be too much, between constantly feeling behind at work, coming home almost every night to an empty apartment, doing everything to keep the apartment clean by yourself, and Matthew never being home was destroying you. You knew this would be hard when you said yes, but you never thought it would be this hard. 

“Hey, babe, I got us burgers,” you hear Matthew call, walking into the kitchen, “Oh, my god, Y/N, are you ok?” He puts the bag down next to you, getting on the ground and pulling you into him. “What’s wrong?” he asks, kissing the top of your head. 

You hold up the pieces of the mug, trying to stop crying. “Shit,” Matthew lets out once he realizes what you’re holding, “Did you drop it? Why are you sitting down, there could be shards on the ground.”

He picks you up off the ground, grabbing the food with his other hand. “No, I didn’t drop it,” you hear yourself yell, all of the crying turning into anger, “I found it broken in the sink because I have been asking you to do the dishes and the weight of everything on top of it probably broke it!” 

“I’m, I’m sorry,” he stammers out, “I’ve been busy with practice and we’re leaving soon, and-”

“Like I haven’t been busy? I have a weeks work of assignments to catch up on grading, I need to plan the rest of next weeks lessons, make the tests for my AP kids because last years sucked, plus I’ve been the one keeping everything clean and the one thing I asked you to do, you couldn’t even fucking do that. Plus, you lied to me about when you found out you were leaving on Monday instead of Tuesday.”

“What are you talking about?” 

“Johnny told me.”

“You were talking to Johnny?”

“Yeah, I was talking to Johnny; I’m friends with him, too, remember? I asked him if he wanted me to pick anything up for him before you guys leave, like I always do, and he told me you found out last Wednesday? Why would you lie about it?”

“Well, what about the fact that you lied to me about dancing with the stampede?”

You stop and look at him, his face red as you can tell the anger is boiling up inside him. He hated that you had to go behind his back like that. But, you were due for a fight, you just wish it wasn’t over something so stupid like this, especially when he dodged your question in the first place. 

 “What are you talking about? That was five years ago. And I never lied to you about that!”

“It’s not like you told me the truth.”

“That doesn’t mean I lied about it,” you say, both of you raising your voices each time as if to outdo the previous voice level, “and if we’re really going to hash out and bring up stuff that we already said doesn’t matter, what about that time we went out with the guys and ran into, what, five girls you had hooked up with before you met me? How about we talk about that?”

“That doesn’t matter,” he snaps. 

“Oh, it doesn’t? It doesn’t matter that you introduced me to them as your friend when we were engaged, only for one of them to tell me about all the sexcapdes you had, none of which I knew about. But that’s right, we had a night when we talked about all our past relationships to get them out in the open, hookups included, but I guess those girls just slipped your mind, didn’t they?” As soon as the words left your mouth, you regretted it. 

The look on Matthew’s face was one you had never seen before and never wanted to see again; the pain in his eyes as his face calmed from red to pink, trying to figure out if any of this was worth it. He turns around, facing the counter instead of you. He couldn’t take the look on your face any more than you could take the look on his.

“How can I expect to raise a family with you if you can’t even wash the damn dishes, Matthew!” 

He whips around, eyes wide. “A..a fa-family?” he stammers out. “Are you?”

“What?” you ask, not sure what he means. “Oh, no, no I’m not. I’m just saying. We’ve talked about kids. We both want kids, hell we even already have names picked out. But how the hell am I supposed to be able to depend on you when you’re home to take care of children if you can’t even take care of you and me?” 

“I do take care of you! I have done nothing but love you and support you in what you do with your life. You think that you would be living here if it weren’t for me?” He says, immediately recoiling at what he just said. He knows that teachers don’t make a lot of money, but he always loved that you were so adamant about doing something you were passionate about. “Y/N/N, I’m so-” he starts to say, walking towards you.

“You know what?” you cut him off, not wanting to hear any more from him. Of all the things he could have said, that was probably one of the most hurtful, “You have been my husband for almost a year,” you say, your pointer finger pressed to his chest, not fully pushing him away, but enough that he won’t come closer, “It’s time you start fucking acting like it.” Before he can get another word in, you turn on your heels and walk away.

“Where are you going?” he calls, trying to come after you.

“I’m going to Rory’s.”

“No, you’re staying here,” he says, trying to beat you to the door.

“No. You’re staying here and you’re going to figure out how to be a husband. I’m going to my friend’s place. I don’t care if that’s one less day with you at this point because if we don’t do this now,” you stop yourself, looking at the absolute pain in his eyes. You know you shouldn’t say it with his eyes glassing over with tears like they are, “then who knows how much longer we’re going to have.” 

“Y/N, don’t leave,” Matthew pleads as you grab your keys, trying to ignore him. You could feel the tears coming back, but you couldn’t stay here with him. You go to your car, thinking that Matthew wasn’t following you. Pulling out of your spot, you see Matthew coming running, not fast enough since you pull away before he can get to you. 

You drive around for a bit, debating on if you should even go to Rory’s or just go home. She was the one who had convinced you to tell Matthew about the Stampede, you knew she could give you advice with this. Knocking on her door, trying not to start crying again, she doesn’t answer. You should have called, you should just go back to Matthew.

“I’m coming!” you hear Rory call on the other end, just as you were about to leave. She opens the door, dressed like she’s getting ready to go out, “Hey, love, are you ok?” 

She pulls you into her place as you start ranting to her about the fight that just happened with Matthew. “I just, I don’t know what to do. I love him, but I can’t keep doing things alone.”

“Did you tell him that?” 

“No. I said he needs to figure out how to be my husband.”

“Look, you’re free to stay here for as long as you need to, but you need to go talk to him. Your marriage isn’t going to work unless you talk to him, just like I told you when you wouldn’t tell him about the Stampede,” she says, getting up and going to her kitchen. 

She was right. You needed to go home to Matthew, but what would you even say to him at this point? What more could you tell him to get through to him that you needed your husband to actually act like your husband? You sit there on her couch, definitely intruding as she runs around her place getting ready to go out with her boyfriend, telling you not to worry because “he won’t be here to pick me up for another hour or so, he’s always late like that.” Meanwhile, Matthew was blowing up your phone with texts and calls that you weren’t answering. 

This wasn’t fair to him; you shouldn’t be doing this. “Hey, Ror?”

“Yeah, Y/N/N?” She walks back into her living room to find you standing and trying to dig your keys out of your bag. “He wants you to be happy. Go talk to him.” 

You rush home, definitely breaking a few traffic laws on the way. “Matthew?” you call once you get in the door. You look down, seeing the hallway lined with rose petals, an almost overwhelming smell of vanilla coming from candles that were lit in your home. “Matty?” 

You follow the petaled path into the kitchen to see Matthew sitting at the table wearing blue dress pants and a white button-down, the outfit that he knew you loved on him, your favorite dinner sitting at your seat, along with a bottle of your favorite wine. “What is this?” 

“I’ve been the worst,” he says, getting up to go to you. “I should have done the dishes before you asked, I shouldn’t have forgotten to tell you about leaving earlier and then lied about it, I should be at your beck and call at all times. I’m going to help you with your grading this weekend because the only place I’m going to be before I leave is at practice or by your side and no where else. I’ll even break into the school with you so we can break the copier.”

You can’t help but laugh, tears forming in your eyes, for the first time not out of sadness or anger. “You would do that for me?”

“I would do anything and everything for you. You are the love of my life. We said for better or worse, rich or poor, sickness or health until the day we die, and I know that I have never said anything that I meant more before I said that. I love you, Y/N, and I’m sorry if I haven’t been showing it,” he says, pulling you in for a hug.

“I love you, too. And I just need to you to do things when I ask you to. If I’m asking you for help it’s because I really need it.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I will, I just can’t lose you,” he says, tears starting to form in his eyes. 

“The only time you’re going to lose me is when you wander away from me in the store,” you say. He laughs, wiping away the tear that had fallen from his eyes.

“I know you said we weren’t starting a family yet, but what do you say we go and practice?” he asks, kissing your forehead. 

“I think you’ve had enough practice,” you tell him, smiling. His eyes grow wide, the smile on his face doing the same. Picking you up off your feet, he whisks you away to your bedroom, definitely not needing any more practice.

#matthew tkachuk #matthew tkachuk imagine #calgary flames #calgary flames imagine #flames #flames imagine #nhl #nhl imagine #hockey #hockey imagine

[dirt-cup-draco]

Sirius x Reader- Everyone But Me

Can u please do young!sirius x reader in which the reader is friends with Lily and the marauders. And in an attempt to try and see if Lily has any feelings for James, u flirt with James. And James being James goes along with it, also bc he knows Sirius likes u and he thinks it’s funny. Which does in fact not only make Lily jealous but also Sirius. Could the reader also be mega bffs with Rem please? I’m just a slut for jealous Sirius. I’m glad ur feeling better, I love you pumpkin

“I can’t believe you!” You giggled, head resting in the crook of Remus’ neck as you lost your composure. The marauders were devilish on and off the quidditch pitch and you weren’t going to tell anyone that peter had been muttering curses underneath his breath to throw off the Slytherin seeker while James worked on winning the game. 

“It was harmless, really, we would’ve won the game regardless,” Sirius chimed in, tossing his arm around you and pulling you from Remus’ side into his own as he fought back the small twang of jealousy he felt. He knew that Remus had his eye on that McKinnon girl that Lily was so fond of but he couldn’t help it. He loved that you were close with everybody he cared about. Sirius couldn’t ever fall for someone who wouldn’t give his friends a chance, but he also felt fear.

Fear that he wasn’t good enough in comparison to them. Remus was kindhearted and intelligent, possessing a calm and intelligence that Sirius thought he’d never have. Peter was in his head but he had good intentions and was cute, Sirius didn’t pull off cute well- in his own opinion that was. And then there was James Potter. James, his best friend and the golden boy of gryffindor. 

Which brought him to the whomping willow, hours later, back pressed against the dusty planks within the tree. When it wasn’t being used as a safe haven for Remus during the full moon it was a nice place for them to meet up and spend hours getting up to no good and enjoying their youth. You were all sat in a circle, you sitting directly between Remus and James, Sirius across from you. 

It was a miracle you hadn’t noticed that his eyes had been trained on you since the second you had arrived with a smug smile and firewhisky tucked behind your back to share. 

It was a miracle that Sirius didn’t notice the sly look you sent Lily’s way. You had a gleam in your eye and you finished off the cup of firewhisky you had in your hand, just enjoying the pleasant warmth that had spread through you. It was late and the whomping willow wasn’t the warmest of places as October reached its midpoint. 

“So James, brilliant play today,” You cooed, changing the subject so the focus was on James and James alone. Sirius felt sick but watched in curiosity. 

“Course it was,” James laughed but smiled back, sending a long look to Sirius, assessing him. Sirius was too stuck in his own mind to realize that he was being studied, he didn’t realize that to James the jealousy was clear. 

You watched Lily similarly, finding the way that her expression soured as she watched you, her own jealousy beaming through. Remus watched in amusement. Sirius and Lily were quite possibly the two most emotionally constipated people he had ever met in his life. 

James looked to you for a moment and your lips split into a wide grin, you winked, you actually bloody winked! Sirius felt disturbed but mainly disheartened. He didn’t like watching you express interest in James, he wanted it to be him regardless what James might feel towards you. Which seemed to be similar to your own feelings as he winked back. 

“I did it of course, for you dear Y/N,” James nearly laughed at the painful flirt that made it way past his lips. It was like trying to flirt with his sister, awkard and unnatural. You two had been stuck on a bet of sorts recently. James was adamant that Sirius was head over heels for you and you were certain Lily was begging the universe for James to make the first move, just so she didn’t have to lose her Evans pride by asking him first. 

You set your hand on James’ thigh as you talked, both egging on the other teens in the room that you fancied. It seemed to be too much for Sirius though as he hopped up from his reclined and faux relaxed position. 

“I’ve got to go,” Was all he said before he was running out. Peter looked at you all with shame and Remus snorted, hand held open for James to drop nearly a galleon’s worth of sickles into his waiting palm. Lily raised her brow in question as Marlene sipped at the firewhisky, soaking up the drama. 

“On you go then,” James directed, head jerking towards the entrance. 

You chewed your lip pensively. “I still don’t think you’re right,” 

“Our plan went just like we thought it would so what are you waiting for?” James asked and Lily’s mouth opened to ask but Remus shot her a look that told her she would be finding out very soon. 

“If you’re wrong-” You argued, nervous that Sirius wouldn’t feel the same. What if he did but didn’t now that you had been cruel? Jealousy was a feeling that tied your stomach in knots and made your heart feel like a concrete weight in your chest. If Sirius was feeling anything like that then you didn’t doubt he would be cross with your little game. 

“He’s not,” Remus reassured, hand warm on your back as he sent you an encouraging smile. “Sirius is mad for you, so go to him already.” 

You finally nodded, brushing the dust from your jeans as you chased after the boy that you hadn’t had the guts to tell how you felt without playing childish games. You hoped he wasn’t too upset. 

--

“Hey,” Your voice drifted on the icy breeze, features distorted by the moon’s light being broken up through the clouds above and Sirius froze in his tracks that had been leading anywhere that wasn’t near the whomping willow. “You left pretty quick,” 

You stood a few feet behind him with a perfect smile on your face, concerned about him. He cracked his own smile but if felt cheap and brittle. “Just needed some air, drank too much probably,” 

“You didn’t touch the firewhisky all night,” You pointed out and Sirius watched you intently.

“Guess not,” He shrugged lamely, not offering any explanation as to why he was lying to you. You understood he was hurt, or at least feeling inadequate, and it was up to you to make the first step. 

“Want to talk about it?” You asked, not quite sure what to do now.

“Nothing to talk about,” He couldn’t help the bitter tone. Why tell you how he felt when you clearly fancied James? Why else would you be all over his friend? But... that begged another question. Why were you here and not with James when you had both seemed to be enjoying each other’s flirting? 

“Alright then,” You said, smile stiff but you didn’t seem deterred as you grabbed Sirius’ hand in yours. “If you don’t have something to say, then I do. I’m sorry,” You opened your mouth to say more but it seemed stuck in your throat. 

Sirius could feel your palm, sweaty against his own as you struggled for words. “You’re sorry?” He prompted, not sure why you were apologizing. Your cheeks were red but he chalked it up the buzz and the chill in the air that was pricking at his own skin and undoubtedly battling the sweater you wore and winning. You shivered. 

“I’m sorry for being an idiot, I didnt mean to make you jealous-” 

“I wasn’t jealous!” Sirius immediately squeaked, face hot. 

You laughed. Sirius winced. 

“Whatever you and James are it’s cool, I’m not jealous,” He defended again, shielding his own emotions from you. You were still laughing! Was this funny to you? Sirius tore his hand from yours, making his way back towards the school. 

“Siri!” You sighed, realizing you once again had shared too little. “James and I aren’t anything! It was a trick, a prank, really! I was trying to get Lily to admit she liked James and he was doing the same to you.... Both of us are idiots,” 

Sirius stood still once again but he was almost too nervous to face you as you caught back up to him. “What’s the point? Why make a mockery of us?” 

“I-it wasn’t supposed to be that... I don’t want to mock you, I want you to know I like you, a lot,” 

Sirius scoffed. “Funny way of showing it,” Yet, his defenses had fallen with that one blow. Y/N liked him? Surely she couldn’t mean it. 

“I know,” You sighed, fingers intertwining with his once more as you tugged him to face you, his eyes darting around as he refused to make eye contact. He was trying to keep from looking hopeful in case this was still just one big joke. 

“Why?” He asked.

“I told you silly, because I like you and I’m an idiot and-” 

“No,” Sirius cut you off. “I mean, why me? Why not James? He’s- well he’s just better... Honestly, anyone would be better than me. I like you, oh merlin, I like you, Y/N-”

“But?” You encouraged.

“But you deserve better and anyone else would be a better match...” Sirius continued, trying to keep the hurt out of his tone. “I thought for a while you liked Remus and now James and I- Well I thought you liked everyone but me.” 

To anyone that wasn’t you or the marauders, Sirius would sound indifferent as he admitted his own low self esteem. To you, however, you realized just how stupid it was to make Sirius sit in his self doubt to try and get him to say he liked you instead of just admitting it yourself. 

“James is like my brother,” You wrinkled your nose in mock disgust. “I couldn’t ever feel that way about him! It’s always been you Sirius, I don’t care about anyone else the way I care about you. Remus is my best friend and James and Peter are like my annoying siblings, but that is all. You mean far more to me,” 

Sirius blinked slowly. “But I’m-” 

“Perfect,” You smiled. “In every way,” 

Sirius felt like he’d been punched. 

“So,” You blushed. “All that being said, would you do me the honor of letting me make up for my mistake and take you on a date?” 

Sirius beamed, kissing your knuckles as he squeezed your hand in response. “How could I deny you the honor of going on a date with all this?” He motioned to himself, his false confidence blurring with real confidence as he tried to process that you actually liked him! 

“Can I ask one thing though?” He chimed in after a moment of charged silence. 

“Of course,” You let go of the breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. 

“Please, never do that again,” Sirius laughed weakly.

You agreed and pulled him into a tight hug, only pulling away when the rest of your friends found you some odd minutes later, stuck in a cozy embrace.

That weekend, you and Sirius, as well as James and Lily, had a lovely double date. The kiss you’d given him after had told Sirius all he need to know. It was him and only him and had been for quite some time. All was well.  

#sirius x reader #sirius black x reader #fluff #angst #ask #anon #anon ask #sirius black #sirius

[nickshoneyboo]

attention

warnings: i still cuss a lot... google translated spanish... a virgin writing unrealistic se-

fun stuff: a mix of degradation and praise (but only if you squint)

requested: omg yes this is my first request

words: 1257... I got carried away...

fic number: two

“Joel, bro you fucking suck! Y/N plays better than you and she can’t even-”

“What about Y/N?” You looked up, suddenly interested.

“Nothing, baby! I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

You heard laughter roar through Richard’s headset so you knew his focus was no longer on you. You were sprawled on the couch behind you loving, but not attentive, boyfriend. You wanted nothing but to spend the day with him, to listen to him talk about nothing and everything. This, however, was not what you had in mind.

“Richard?” No response. “Rich. Baby. Babe. Cariño. Mi amor.” Still nothing. “I’m going to jump off a cliff so if you need me, don’t!”

“Dame un segundo. Casi termino, lo prometo…” He trailed off.

“Fucking hell.” You got up and stood beside him. You knew he could see you yet he chose to ignore you still. You moved closer to the flat screen. This got his attention and he attempted to lean around you.

“I said I’m almost done, mami,” he says, still oblivious to your previous threat.

“I’m going to take a shower. Try to miss me,” you deadpanned.

As you started to walk away you heard, “Un besito?”

“Nope, play your game.” You were answered with a glare from Richard and a number of screams from the other boys. You’ve won.

You pranced around your shared room mindlessly, searching for something of Richard’s to wear. Somehow or another, you ended up laying on the floor, watching tiktoks. You turned on your stomach, realizing you were on your phone far too long.

“Okay, like three more. Then, you shower.”

One. Another comedy video you didn’t understand.

Two. A dance you saved.

Three. A prank? One that will get you what you deserve? Perfect timing. The world wanted this to happen. Thank you, Siri, for listening to me unlike someone-

—————————

You had no idea how long you were in the shower and definitely didn’t know how long you were on the floor. You did know that you could still hear Richard insulting his band members. You picked up your phone and started recording. You faced the camera, showing your towel covered body. You turned around and faced your phone toward the ground. To any unsuspecting person, it looked as if you were doing no more than reading a text. You dropped your towel and made your way to Richard.

You approached him and to no one’s surprise, he didn’t even acknowledge you. You flipped your phone and gave the camera a disapproving look. The audio ended before he even turned around.

“Richard! What must I do for seven seconds of your time? Damn!”

This caught his attention. “Baby, lo siento pero-” His breath hitched. “Uh… I think I have to go…”

“Well, it took you long enough.” You checked your screen. Still recording. You started walking backwards to your room. Richard followed. You giggled and started moving faster. The faster you moved, the closer Richard got.

Your knees hit the back of your bed and you fell backwards. You turned your camera toward him as he crawled over you.

“You’ve been recording me?”

“Only for about 25 seconds…”

“Mhmm. Why were you recording me?” He inquired.

“Just for a tiktok,” you answered. You studied the way his eyes darkened.

“Oh is that so?” He snatched your phone so fast you didn’t have time to think. You knew better than to try and take it back. Richard backed off of you, suddenly too far away. “Come here,” he started. As you sat up he added, “on your knees.”

As embarrassing as it felt, you couldn’t deny your arousal. You crawled over to the edge of the bed and sat on your heels.

He grabbed your chin, making you eye level with him. “Now you listen to me and you listen good. I’ll give into your little game. But I promise you one thing. You won’t like it.” You shivered at his words but you nodded, anticipating his every move. “Lay down, Y/N. Be a good girl for me,” he encouraged. You noticed the change in his voice but you were getting what you craved and that’s all that mattered.

He spread your legs open and ran his fingers up your thighs “Richard…”

“What? Am I still not giving you what you wanted?” You stayed quiet. “What? You’ve got to tell me what you want.” You whined, still embarrassed and frustrated. “I don’t speak brat. I'll ask you one more time. What. Do. You. Want?”

“Your mouth… please,” you managed. Apparently it wasn’t enough.

“Louder, I didn’t hear you.” You didn’t have to be told twice. You were tired of waiting.

“Your mouth. Please.” You repeated yourself, much to his enjoyment.

Within a second Richard had his head buried between your legs. He alternated between short, quick licks and long, slow strokes. And honestly? I was too much to handle. You blindly felt for his hair, too distracted to even open your eyes.

“Fuck, Richard please don’t stop,” you whined. “Oh, I’m gonna… I…” Lo and behold. He stopped. You couldn’t bring yourself to complain yet. You calmed down and glared at him. He tried to cover his laugh.

“Why are you looking at me like that? I thought you were enjoying yourself?”

“Richard, can you please!”

“Lose the attitude, mami.” He didn’t look pleased with you but at least he continued.

—————————

“Okay, okay, baby please…” You started to push his head away. His tongue felt so good but fuck, it was too much.

“You wanted attention so bad and now that I’m giving it to you, you want to complain? It’s a bit too late for that, don’t you think?” Oh so this is what he meant by ‘you won’t like it.’

“I’m sorry but-”

“No. I’m giving you what you wanted. Don’t be unappreciative.” You nodded, too weak to do anything else.

—————————

Reluctantly, Richard stood up and palmed himself through his sweats. You watched intently, waiting for your next orders. Knowing you were watching, Richard put on a show. He slowly peeled off his pants and smirked.

“Hands and knees, baby, come on.” You slowly turned on your side, then your stomach, and stretched out on the bed. You were moving to slow for his liking so he grabbed your waist and pulled you backward. One thing you’ve learned today is that Richard does not put up with your teasing. After a few swats on your ass, he finally slid into you. You let out the softest moan and dropped your arms. The only things holding you up right now are your breasts. Those and Richard's tight grip on your waist.

“Ah…” This wasn’t your first time with Richard but it never felt like this.

“Oh, what now? Don’t act like you can’t handle it. Take it like a good slut. Can you do that for me?” He knew how you felt about that. You panted, struggling to answer. “Hmm, baby?”

“Yes, papi…” As your orgasm neared, Richard sped up. Your moans and whimpers encouraged his wild thrusts until…

“Ohhh,” you both sighed together. After a moment, Richard pulled out and laid next to you. You rolled onto your back and glanced at him.

“Was that enough attention for you, mami?”

“Plenty. But the next time you put me second to that stupid game? The only thing I’m giving you is a pillow and directions to the living room.” You smiled and turned over, satisfied with yourself. “And with that being said, good night.”

date finished: april 23, 2020

time finished: 2:17 am

tags: still none yet

#richard camacho #richard camacho smut #cnco #cnco smut

[bebepac]

WIP 07.22.2020

Guess what day it is, guess what day it is WIP WEDNESDAY!!! LOL.  Is anyone else wondering where the heck this week went?  Because I really am.  I’m still a little whipped from working 6 days last week,  but this is what I’ve got going on. 

I’m also planning on redoing my tag list on my fics next week, to see if people want to be on and off and shifted around, If anyone wants to be officially perma-tagged as when I started this blog I didn’t know what TF that meant.  LOL.  Also if you are interested in my Ellie Fic,  Chapter 1 is done, so if you would like a tag on that please let me know,  I posted a little more below as a teaser.  

I totally worked on these in the wrong order as inspiration struck me, so the fic I have finished, is the one I for real started last.  Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.  Because in my mind that made perfect sense.  Blame it on the alcohol yo.

I am leading first with Pop’s Place, as this is the one that surprised some people ALOT with what Liam told Mia about Drake’s relationship he’s still currently in.... apparently.... 

First up: 

Mom’s Birthday

Pop’s Place Chapter 7

*still in the writing process*

"Did you show her the pictures?"

"You were right she didn't even look through them all. If she did she would have realized they were from last year."

"And how did she take it?"

"It really hurt her feelings. I wasn't planning on her crying.  We shouldn't have done this Mollie."

"Oh good grief Liam, don't be a baby and get a conscience now. You’re gonna reap all the benefits, if you play your cards right. The way he broke up with me here, IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!!!!! Neville even thought it was funny.  Drake has it coming.  Where are you?"

"I'm at her place. She went to get us some drinks."

"He was going to ask her to be his girlfriend, when he got home you know.  From the vibe I got, he was pretty sure Mia would have said yes. So you're welcome."

"Thank you Mollie."

"You know we wouldn't have been able to do this to him, if he cared about social media. I'm surprised he even has his cell phone, not that it's working. He's going to walk into a shit show when he gets back.  So if you want to make her yours, you better move fast."

"I'm invited to her Mom's birthday party."

"Get you some!"

"I intend to."

"Damn, she's in for a treat, you're great in bed you know, Liam Rys."

"Oh I know."

Liam quickly put his phone away when Mia came back out of  the house with their favorite apple juice.

*^*^*^*^*^* Next Up *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

The Fight Within

Fast Forward Chapter 12

*still in the writing process*

 Are you happy with the way your life has turned out?"

"Yes My Love. I love you, and our children more than life." He gently touched her stomach. I can't wait to meet our second little girl."

She placed her hand on his. "Can we talk about children?"

"Of course."

"This is going to be our last baby Liam, I don't want any more children."

"Riley why? You are an excellent mother."

"I feel like my attention is so divided."

"Well I know we were both against having a nanny, maybe that would help."

"It won't because, I don't want any more children. We will have two babies in diapers again. Two breastfeeding again. Do you know how tiring it is? Especially when none of them start out wanting to take a bottle? And don't look at me like that Liam, you have always been helpful there. Diaper changes, nightly cuddles and snuggles,  but sometimes babies just want Mommy. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had more than 2 consecutive nights of more than 4 hours of constant sleep? After I give birth, I am going to get a tubal ligation or you're gonna get snipped.  And I can already tell by the look on your face Liam, you don't want it to be you."

"Riley, I carry the royal bloodline of Cordonia."

"So do our children.  When this child is born, I will have given you four heirs Liam."

*^*^*^*^*^*^* Next Up*^*^*^*^*^*^*

Chapter 1: Crown Princess Blues

Ellie (Ali) Rys: Hartfeld University Student

*finished*

She wondered how Nic was going to take the news.  

She walked out of the palace down the walkway to the practice arena.   That is where the Junior Guards were practicing. Being a Junior Guard was a stepping stone to get into the King’s Guard Academy, which Nicolai was planning on doing to follow in his father’s footsteps.  

She always went on Tuesdays when Nico, her mother’s guard, was training them.  

“Your Highness,” he greeted her when she walked in.  

“I wanted to see our future guards in action, that will help defend The Crown someday.”  

“We live to serve The Crown!”  The group chanted, bowing to Crown Princess Ellie.  

She nodded in return.  

“As you were.”  He saw Ellie’s eyes find Nic’s from across the room.  A large smile quickly crossed his face.   He could tell by Ellie’s eyes, which were Riley’s beautiful eyes, she was smiling too, but her mannerisms were just like her father’s.  King Liam had taught her to hide her true feelings very well. But Ellie’s eyes were her mother’s, and they were a dead giveaway.  

Nico immediately saw how his son Nic’s demeanor had changed, and the bright pink flush that was on his face.

After watching them spar for about 30 minutes,  He decided to get them a break, which gave Nic a little time to talk to Ellie.  They quickly disappeared into a secluded alcove.  Nic couldn’t wait to kiss Ellie as soon as he knew it was safe. She ran her fingers through Nic’s hair as she kissed him.  Their kiss was so brief.  Nic leaned in again.

Ellie pecked his lips again softly.  “Save some for later,”  she smiled at him.  

“There’s something I need to tell you. I picked a University.”  

“That’s great Ellie.  Let me guess where.”  

Ellie noticed Nic’s smile start to fade after time after time she said no.

“Ellie where are you going to university?”

“To America,  Hartfeld University.”

The color drained from Nic’s face.  “Break’s over, I have to get back.”  

He didn’t even kiss Ellie goodbye, he just walked away.   He walked away quickly because he didn’t want Ellie to see him cry.

“Nicolai, wait!” Ellie called after him, but Nic walked even faster.  Ellie sighed walking back in the direction towards the palace.      

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* next up *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

At Long Last

150 followers fanfic Giveaway

*still in writing process*

“Are you ready for bed my Love.”  

“Yes, I will be in a few minutes.”  Riley kissed Liam’s lips.  

“Excuse me?”  Jason said.

“We’re getting ready to go to sleep.”  Liam said, he tried to keep his voice level, as he didn’t know what Jason Brooks was getting at.

“Not in the same bed with my daughter you’re not.”  

Liam let out a surprised laugh.  He immediately felt Riley hit his arm.

“You’re serious.”  

“Yes the hell I am.  She’s not your wife yet, you’re not sharing a bed with her as long as I’m under this roof.”

“Dad this is his palace.”

“Jason you have lost your mind. Siri what are Cordonian jails like?”      

“I don’t give a flying fuck.  You’re not married to him yet Jelly Bean, and I want to keep your virtue intact.”  

Riley thought of all the things she had done with Liam… Yep… that virtue has been gone a long time ago.

She watched Liam and her father stare each other down.

Liam’s ears turned bright red, as he turned to Riley.  “My love.  I will have some things moved to your old suitor room.  I  will see to it that it is properly cleaned for you in the morning.”

Liam watched as Riley gathered some of her things, to take to the other room.

He slipped his arms around Riley’s waist.  “Maybe I can sneak down the hall and spend the night with you instead.”  

“Don’t even think about it, I’m a light sleeper.  Do you need any help with your things Jelly?”  

“I got it Dad.”

She settled in her room.   Liam sent her a selfie from the bed with him pointing to her side of the bed, where Chance was curled up.  “We miss you Love.”  

“Still want to marry me?”  

“Of course… but your dad is quite the character.”

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* next up *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

The Indescretions of the Father

Heroes and Villains Chapter 7

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* earlier that day *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

“Love you look upset, what's wrong?”

“Your father…”

“I know I was supposed to be at your confessional and at the last possible second he told me I would not be attending and it would be him instead.”

“That’s not what.. Your father said some really inappropriate things to me.”

“Like what?”  

She went over the things Constantine had said during the confessional about her body and lust.

“My father would never talk to a woman like that.  You have to be taking what he’s saying out of context Riley.  I know you are still upset about the task Riley.  I am too….”

“Are you saying you don’t believe me Liam?”

“No that’s not at all what i’m saying Love.  If you would just cal.…..”

“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down Liam Rys!!!!!!!  Your father is disgusting, and talked about you and me together, and he stared at me like I was a piece of ass Liam.”  

“Riley please….”  

“You know what, don’t bother coming by the next couple of nights, I don’t think my schedule can accommodate you this week anyway.”

Liam watched Riley walk away slamming the door behind him.

“He didn’t believe you Riley? How could he not believe you?  I’ve seen the way Constantine stares at you when he knows Liam isn’t looking. King Constantine is a dog.”  

“So you believe me?”

He stroked Riley’s cheek gently kissing her lips.

“Of course I believe you Riley.  I know you wouldn’t be this upset if it didn’t happen.  Prince Liam can’t see who his father truly is because he’s too close.  I’m sorry he hurt you.”

He hugged Riley.

“I know a place that makes the best american cheese burgers and chocolate milk shakes.  Go put your sweat pants on girl, we’re gonna go there and eat until our stomachs are full and happy.”  

“No Greek tonight then?”

“You can have some Greek Meat if you would like later.”

Riley laughed.

“That was dirty Nico.”  

“Yet you’re still laughing.”

Still in the pipeline:  Life of Riley:  Beach Vacation:  It’s in my brain,  just nothing concrete typed out yet.  

*^*^*^*^*^* end of chapter teasers *^*^*^*^*^*^*^

What are you guys working on @burnsoslow @loveellamae @dcbbw @queenjilian @indiacater @hopefulmoonobject @bbrandy2002

Tagging some peeps that really expressed interest or had some very strong responses from the previous chapters of these. @hopelessromanticmonie  @atha68​ @queenwalton​ @debramcg1106 @axwalker @kingliam2019 @kimmiedoo5 @texaskitten30 @sanchita012 @mom2000aggie @gabesmommie1130 @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @marshmallowsandfire @jared2612 @cordonia-gothqueen @batgirlassociationofgothamcity @losingbraincellseveryday @mrsdrakewalkerblog @sadlibrahours @cordonianroyalty @blueaster-blog1@choicesficwriterscreations

#bebepac writes #pop's place #fast forward #heroes and villains #at long last #ellie rys #crown princess ellie #trr fanfic #trr fandom #trh fanfic #trh fandom #trr mc x drake #trh mc x liam #trr mc x liam #riley brooks #king of cordonia #queen of cordonia #cordonia

[moveslikebuckywrites]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Omens (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Characters: Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Kissing in the Rain, Introspection, Crowley's Bentley (Good Omens)

Time for part 3!  This time for my dear friend @waylonjenningslittlefield set to Reno and Me by Waylon Jennings!

---

What's the point of a race where you stay in one place

Believing there's somewhere to go

It don't matter which way you go, when you're calling the highway your home

Every old town is your past burning down, it don't matter which way you go

---

The lights on the motorway glowed hazy as Crowley drove past them.  It was well past midnight, well past the time for respectable people to return to their homes.  To their beds.  To their loved ones, warm and waiting.

Crowley pushed the Bentley to go faster, no destination in mind.  He’d been driving south.  Past chalk cliffs and wide fields.  Most of his day had been spent in his beloved car, miles away from anyone who cared or anything that could hurt.

The screen on his phone lit up, not for the first time today.  A bright bluish white glow illuminating the cabin of the car.  He didn’t answer.  He hadn’t answered yet, and he wasn’t going to.

Sure, Aziraphale would be upset.  But he’d get over it, he always does in a few years or decades.  Besides, Crowley could be back at the bookshop within half an hour.  Less if he floored it.

For once in his life, he doesn’t floor it.

Those hazy motorway lights reflect off the hood.  Off the side mirrors.  Off the windshield.  Flickering like firelight.  Crowley doesn’t like firelight anymore.

He’s still processing this.  This new chapter in his life.  Hell isn’t calling.  The world isn’t ending.  He’s free. Freer than he’s ever been.  So why in the Heaven does he feel so trapped?

Someone else is calling.  His phone lights up again.  He’s been gone for hours and Aziraphale is worried.  The angel has his own problems and Crowley tries his damndest not to drag him into his.  Aziraphale doesn’t need this mess.  These doubts.  This fear that the wrong move or the wrong breath or the wrong thought might bring everything crashing down.

Ten miles outside London and he makes a wrong turn.  On purpose, that is.  If he keeps driving, maybe he’ll get away from these doubts, these fears.

He’s a fucking coward and he knows it.

They had been out to a nice lunch at Aziraphale’s favorite sushi place, deciding then to retire to the bookshop, as had been the norm for the past several weeks.  With Armageddon averted and their respective sides no longer giving a toss, Crowley had seen no reason for pretense any longer.  He’d rather be with Aziraphale than anywhere else.

Things were normal until halfway back to the shop, when Aziraphale had reached for his hand and entwined their fingers together.  Crowley had felt his heart stop entirely (not that he needed it).  Aziraphale, for his part, just carried on the conversation.  As though he hadn’t just upended a demon’s entire existence with a touch.

When they returned to the shop, Aziraphale had busied himself with the continual task of inventory – made more continual by the new additions left by Adam.  Crowley had taken his usual place on the sofa.  He was having a grand time just staring at his own hand in disbelief and swearing to himself he could feel it tingling when Aziraphale decided to turn his world upside down one more time.

“You know, Crowley,” the angel said, gazing towards him fondly from the bookshelf he’d been working on, “I believe I very much love you.”

Crowley had arched an eyebrow at that, “It’s your job though, innit?  All creatures, great and small, that whole nonsense?  You love everything, Angel, I already knew that.”

He’d watched Aziraphale fumble with his signet ring, twisting it back and forth.  “No, my dear, I’m afraid you misunderstand me,” the angel said as he started very slowly towards the sofa, “I’m in love with you.”

And Crowley’s brain had all but shut down in that moment.  Six thousand years of wanting but never being able to have or to know or even to acknowledge had done nothing to prepare him for the full force of Aziraphale’s loving gaze.

He should’ve said it back.  He should’ve stood right then, closed the distance, wrapped the angel up in his arms and kissed him senseless.

Crowley had done none of those things.  He had stammered a muffled apology and stormed out the door.  He got in the Bentley and just started driving.  No destinations, no plans.

That’s how he found himself here, speeding down the motorways and ignoring Aziraphale’s phone calls.  Trying to drive away from his past while still steadfastly avoiding anything to do with the future.

He’ll fuck it up.  He knows he’ll fuck it up.  He’s a demon.  Part one of the handbook: How to Fuck Things Up (For Fun and Profit).  Number One Ruiner of Things, him.  Everything else in his long life had backfired at some point, why not this, too?

Sure, he might get a couple decades, a century if he’s lucky.  Eventually though, Aziraphale would remember that he is an angel and Crowley is a demon and they are ‘hereditary enemies’.  It would only be a matter of time.

The hazy mist turns into fat raindrops that splatter the windshield, fracturing the motorway lights into even more sparkles in the night air and on the hood of the car.  Aziraphale would worry even more now.  Crowley heaves a sigh and resigns himself, if Aziraphale calls again, he’s going to answer.

The phone rings.  He can’t make himself pick it up.  He lets it go to voicemail yet again.

Fucking coward of cowards, he tells himself, knuckles white on the steering wheel.

He notices he’s looped back around to Piccadilly Circus at some point; paying no attention to his direction.  It doesn’t matter where he goes, he’ll always end up back at the same place.

He misses his turn yet again, resolving that next time – next time – he’ll go back to the bookshop.  He’ll apologize; talk some sense into Aziraphale.  That this can’t be what he wants, what he needs.

He’ll let the angel down easy and it will all be fine.

A shorter buzz from the phone this time.  A voicemail.  That’s something, he thinks, that would be easier to deal with right now.

“Siri, play voicemail,” he says to the little contraption clipped to the Bentley’s visor.

“You have one new voicemail.  From Aziraphale.”

There’s a beep and Aziraphale’s voice, albeit wavering and cracking, fills the Bentley:

“Crowley, blast it all, I know you’re there!  You know I can’t stand these silly phone contraptions.  Please just, pick up the phone, I’m sorry if what I said hurt you.  I’m sorry if it wasn’t the right time or if you don’t feel the same.  Of course, you don’t, do you?  I should not have presumed to know your feelings without you making them clear, that was terrible of me.  I just…there’s a storm on, and I know you’re out driving, and I just want you to be safe.  We can talk about this; nothing needs to change.  Just please…come home, Crowley.”

The voice mail cuts off and Crowley can feel a stinging at the corner of his eyes.  Come home.  And that was the crux, wasn’t it?  Crowley has spent his entire life on the move, on the run from something.  Even his flat, despite his beautiful art and astounding plants, has never been a home.  There’s only one place in the world he’s ever felt he belongs.  Definitely not Heaven, and never Hell.  It’s been right here on Earth, in a bookshop in Soho.

Crowley turns the wheel sharply; he has to fix this.  He can’t let Aziraphale think he doesn’t feel the same.  He floors the gas and rockets back down Piccadilly on his way to Soho.

On his way home.

---

Aziraphale comes out of the bookshop before Crowley has a chance to even park the Bentley, wringing his hands together with worry.  Flitting about back and forth, starting towards the car, then turning around and going back to the door.  Not even noticing the rain.

What a fucking mess I am, Crowley thinks to himself, mucking things up.  He grips the steering wheel, fear coursing through him still.

He needs to say it.  He needs to say it.

Crowley cuts the engine and opens his door; Aziraphale still stands in the bookshop doorway, wavering between closing the distance and staying where he is.  There’s nothing Crowley hates more than seeing that look on the angel’s face.  It’s too close to Alpha Centauri.  To a fight at the bandstand.  To a neon-lit street in 1967.

Their eyes meet and that look makes Crowley’s fear melt away.  He’s certain, Aziraphale wants this.  Wants him.  Crowley isn’t going to mess this up, because every time the angel has ever had that look on his face – has ever felt that fear and self-doubt – Crowley has been the one to erase it.

Crowley has been terrified over what?  Over three words he’s afraid he won’t live up to?  Three words he’s been screaming in the depths of his soul for six thousand years?

He slams the door, causing Aziraphale to flinch slightly.  He rounds the car, storming towards the bookshop with renewed purpose, rain splattering his sunglasses and soaking him through.  Closing the last bit of distance that he’s been shoving between himself and the angel since earlier today.

“Crowley,” Aziraphale says as he approaches, face softening, “Crowley, I’m-I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed-“

Crowley takes Aziraphale’s face in his hands and kisses him, right there on the steps of the bookshop, in the pouring down rain.  Aziraphale stills completely, and for one brief moment the fear creeps back in.  He’s fucked it up, he’s gone too fast.

But then he feels strong angelic arms wrap around him, and for God’s-Satan’s-Someone’s sake Aziraphale is kissing him back.  It’s desperate and tender all at the same time, with millennia of words unspoken exchanged in this simple touch of skin.

Crowley reluctantly breaks the kiss and nuzzles the angel’s nose with his own, “Angel.”

“Yes, my darling?” Aziraphale is breathless and the endearment on its own is enough to nearly bring Crowley to his knees, but this is important.

“Aziraphale,” he says, running a thumb along the angel’s jaw, softly and reverently, “Angel I love you, so goddamn much.  Feel like I always have.”

The smile that breaks on Aziraphale’s face is blinding.  Like the very first sunrise in Eden.

“I love you too, dearest,” the angel says as he wraps his arms around Crowley even tighter and buries his face in the demon’s neck, “I have for so very long.”

“I’m sorry, Angel,” Crowley says, planting a kiss in Aziraphale’s hair, “I never should’ve run.”

“It’s alright, my dear,” Aziraphale says and Crowley can feel him smiling, “You were scared, and maybe I was moving too fast.”

“Bastard,” Crowley chuckles into the angel’s hair before leaning down to steal another kiss, “I think it might be raining.”

“It would appear so,” Aziraphale says, placing a few kisses along Crowley’s jaw, “Maybe we should go back inside, you can stay the night here, if you’d like to.”

Aziraphale’s eyes shine with mischief and it makes Crowley weak, “Oh, Angel, I thought you’d never ask.”

Crowley presses his lips to Aziraphale’s once more as they stumble backwards through the bookshop doors, leaving the real world on the street behind them.

In the years that follow, Crowley will learn to be loved as he has always deserved, by an angel who has always yearned to do just that.  And Aziraphale will be loved in turn, by a demon who loves him more than Heaven ever could.

And Crowley will no longer feel like he needs to run, his past will burn down behind him, leaving this new life in its wake.  No matter where he goes – what motorways he drives – wherever Aziraphale is will always be home.

#link #my fic #good omens #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley

[dehvastation]

Fallout (With @MismatchedFreak)

Dehv: ~ I was moving almost before the car stopped. Pushing out of the door and starting to make my way towards the infirmary. Vishous quickly redirected me and I grunted in acknowledgement as I managed to make it through the double doors and almost barrelled right into Fritz who had moved ahead to open the doors for us. “Shit, sorry.” He shook his head and then stepped closer to me before starting to walk towards the infirmary. I knew that I needed to get checked out. But I really just wanted to see Qhuinn and ensure things had gone ok for him. “Fritz, is Qhuinn around?” I didn’t bother looking around, instead focusing my rapidly declining vision on the man in front of me. He shook his head and spoke quietly “He had to go out as soon as the sun went down. I am sure he’ll be back safely soon, Sir. For now get checked out and then, if you’re allowed, I’ll bring you something to eat.” He smiled slightly, and I got the distinct impression he was excited about the prospect of bringing food down to whoever was working tonight.

Once we were inside everything moved at light speed. I was poked and prodded. Needles stuck anywhere there was a vein. I was stripped down and thrown into a less than flattering paper thing that was not staying on me after they’d done their initial run through. I begged for a shower after they’d run fingers and scanners over every inch of my skin. I was allowed it, though Doc wasn’t too happy. Especially with how quickly my eyes were deteriorating. I knew I had to feed, but I wasn’t going to do anything until Qhuinn arrived and I knew he was safe. I’d tried messaging a couple of times, but then my vision had blacked out more frequently. Like a lightbulb that was on the way out. I ended up just asking Siri to call him after that. Leaving a message the first few times and then realising he’d get back to me when he could, and leaving 500 messages wasn’t really going to help. Instead I breathed deep and left one last message that I hoped would sound a little less panicked, “Hey Qhuinn. I’m back from the mission from hell. I’m a little beat up, but nothing too worrisome. Fritz has told me you’re back in the manse, but he got that info second hand. When you are done with Wrath or whoever, it’d be really nice to see you.” I poked my thumb at my screen and was pleased when I heard the phone disconnect. I’d not mentioned any of my injuries in my messages. Just left the odd ramble about being back and wanting to see him. Though as soon as he knew where I was he’d probably come thinking I’d broken someone’s nose. It was the norm for me. I lay back just as the Doc wandered into the room, I could tell right away from the temp dropping a good few degrees that I was in for some bad news. “Ok, what’s the verdict and then I’ll wait on Qhuinn getting here. I’ll feed, sleep, eat and then by tomorrow I’ll be back to normal right?” I tried to keep my voice light as I smiled to hide the nerves. Though it didn’t stop my heart rate from kicking up a notch or two when she paused. Then cleared her throat. Then moved a little closer to the bed. The machine I was attached to let her know exactly how I reacted to that stalling tactic and I felt a blush creep over my cheeks. I hated letting nerves show through, even though I was probably well within my right now that I couldn’t see more than the odd shadow or depth change when the lights got brighter. She moved again, this time she seemed to hesitate before placing her palm on my right forearm. The one that wasn’t presently in a cast. I tipped my head, hoping I was looking in her general direction and waited. “We need to get you blood right away. I’m concerned about your eyes with the fact you’ve got to also heal your hip, back, arm and hands. I’ll bring in a chosen right away and you can feed. That way we’ll have a good start on this. With the fact you didn’t lose your sight right away, and the slow progression, I’m worried it’s not something that will fix easily, quickly or possibly at all.” I swallowed hard and then clenched my jaw. Taking a minute to process before I spoke. “Qhuinn will be here soon enough. I’ll feed from him first and see what the outcome is. From there, and only when he’s here, will I consider feeding from another.” I didn’t wait on the Doc’s thoughts on that, instead turning my back to her and pulling the blanket up over me. I had my phone balanced in my left hand, fingers barely able to curl enough to hold it. But I wanted to be sure that if Qhuinn called before coming to find me, that I wasn’t going to miss him. ~

Qhuinn:  [There were sadly no trainees or Brothers in the gym when I got there, which sucked. I was hoping for a good sparring session to work out my frustrations at the fact those little assholes managed to get another pass into the program. Instead I found myself knocking the shit out of the heavy bag that hung in the corner until my arms felt like jelly and sweat ran off me in puddles. On the way to the shower, I glanced at the time and wondered if Dehv was back from whatever the hell he was doing with Vishous. Maybe I could rectify this shitshow of a day yet. I showered quickly and dressed in my spare shorts and tee before I went back to my office to grab my phone. I tapped the button to power it up and frowned and the influx of messages that were waiting. What the hell? I didn’t think I’d had it off that…shit, the last time I checked it was before the meeting I think and I silenced it so it wouldn’t go off during it, not wanting to piss of the King. Fuck. I unlocked the screen and started scrolling through the texts as I hit the button for the voicemails. It was the last one that had my heart thudding in my chest. It barely finished playing before I was out the door, damn near running to the clinic. I almost plowed down Doc as she stepped out of the doors, “It’s about time you got here, get in there and tell him to feed.” I blinked and nodded stiffly before I pushed passed her into the clinic. It was easy to find my male and the growl that slipped out couldn’t be stopped as I made my way to his bedside. I knew the scent of spice was pouring off me but I didn’t give a shit if anyone else caught on. I crouched down in front of the bed, eyes running over him to take in every bandage and fresh bruise] What the ever loving fuck happened to you? This is not a little beaten up

Dehv: ~ I heard the Doc sigh and then she checked over a few of my vitals. I ensured I kept my back to her and even closed my eyes to try and rest a little. I heard as she shuffled around and then paused. I could just imagine her giving me a look that would have turned me to ash on the spot had I been looking at her, before turning to leave. The door shut and I heard her speaking, my heart spiking when I realised it might just be Qhuinn. My phone hasn’t beeped, so he’d obviously got my message and rushed over. Though I poked my phone out of habit anyway, the light showing through the fog of my fucked eyes, but nothing else. I sighed quietly and then shifted on the bed. Now the Doc was gone, I tried to get into a move comfortable position. The bang from the door made me jump, but then I was surrounded by the scent of Qhuinn. In this case a highly pissed off Qhuinn. But it still relaxed me regardless. I inhaled deeply and let my eyes drift shut again. Enjoying the couple of seconds it took him to charge across the room to the side of the bed. I didn’t rush, slowly opening my eyes to look in the direction that the bed dipped slightly. Though I wasn’t sure if it was a hand, butt or just generally him being in that area. I felt his eyes on me, even though I couldn’t see jack shit. It kept me smiling. The relief on its down that he was back from wherever he’d been dragged off to overriding anything. Possibly also the painkillers I was on, but I was going to pretend it was purely happiness. I chuckled at his wording and shook my head. “I’m mostly fine. I got a little busted up, and I know you can’t guess how. Since until tonight I’d have laughed in your face if you’d have told me. It was completely fucked up.” I felt the smile drop, my brows knitting together as I thought back on it. A full shudder worked through my body at the thought of others not being as lucky as me and Vishous at the end. Being spat out in sunlight, not being able to fight the lesser or falling on any of the spikes would have been a death sentence. We’d got out because we’d been let out. Not because we’d gotten out on our own. And that made my brain spin in 100 directions. I licked over my lips and then cleared my throat, lifting my eyes slowly to the ceiling before letting them drift back towards my imagined male. “How did your meeting with Wrath go? I’m guessing not well if you disappeared off the grid for a chunk of the night?” ~

Qhuinn: [I didn’t want to crowd his bed but I couldn’t stop folding my arms across the side as I dropped down to my knees so I wouldn’t have to bed over to look at him. I combed my fingers through his hair sighed. Something was wrong with the way he was looking at me and that sent the alarms off in my head. I wanted E here or something. Why they weren’t doing more for him right now pissed me the hell off. He was a trainee in their program and had been injured under the eyes of a damn Brother. Again. Maybe it was the Brothers who needed a damn course in how to do shit again. I narrowed my eyes and growled as he spoke] Mostly fine? Dehv, you can’t even look me in the eyes right now so don’t give me that shit. You said you were just going out with V for something he needed help with so what the fuck happened? Also, why isn’t there a damn chosen feeding you right now so you can heal? 

[I shook my head and huffed out a breath as I continued to play with his hair. It was pretty much the safest spot to touch him it seemed considering the cast and wires and all that other shit going on. .] No, it didn’t go well. Wrath….well, Tie and Bernie are back in the program. So that’s fun. Wrath had no choice in the matter, which means I have even less of one. I got back and hit the gym until I heard from you…but being me, I left my phone in the office or I’d have been here sooner. 

Dehv: ~ I felt the growl rise as quickly as the words were spoken. I pushed up slightly with my good arm and blinked over and over. I really wished I could fucking see. Those idiots were back in the damn programme. What the actual fuck? “What the actual fuck?” I shook my head and reached up to take the calming fingers threading through my hair so I could link our hands together. “They’re back in the programme. After attacking you in front of us all and refusing to take orders? They’ll kill someone before we’re done training. Either in training or when we’re out on the streets.” I exhaled hard and dropped my chin, eyes shutting as my head moved from side to side. They were glymera, so they had probably blackmailed Wrath or Qhuinn, or someone, to get that kind of offer put on the table. I had no doubt Qhuinn was pissed, and that was why he’d not answered his phone and gotten to me faster. “You had to hold your temper didn’t you? Please tell me they didn’t parade you in front of those two weasels in order to show that they could keep you on a leash?” I looked in his general direction, though I knew my frown was in place. It made me fucking angry that he’d be forced to do that. That Wrath would agree to that. I really hoped the answers to my questions were a big fat no, and that he’d just been in his office and forgotten to take his phone off silent after his meetings. 

I then exhaled again and swallowed. “So, my night. It didn’t really go to plan if I’m honest.” I squirked a brow and chuckled humourlessly. “It started ok. Emergency call came through, Vishous paired up with whoever was available. I was surprised because it was so close to sun rise, but I wasn’t leaving him on his own. We got there, and it was just………weird. I can’t tell you why, it just felt wrong. It was an abandoned building. But there was nothing from the outside to say that there was an issue. We checked it out, then went through the front doors. Exactly how we practice in training and how we’ve done before out on patrol. Vishous lead and I basically just followed. Then, fuck. The whole thing went to shit.” I took a minute to explain what was happening. My left arm in the cast waving in front of my unfocused eyes when I got to the bit about the sunlight and trying to read the numbers. The falling through the floor and punching through the wall came next. I didn’t bother rolling so he could see my back, I wasn’t pissing off that slight wound now it had stopped screaming. “My shoulder and hip were already bruised from the training anyway. It just pushed them harder. Most of it will be healed once I’ve fed. Or so they say. Others, um, others might take a little longer to heal. But they hope it’s reversible.” I shrugged a shoulder and tried not to let the fear show on my face. I had released Qhuinn’s hand when I was talking through the various rooms that had been created in that death trap of a warehouse. Talking with my fingers about being drugged and then waking up in an empty space, so my good hand was free to reach forward and thankfully connect with hard muscle. I curled my fingers in Qhuinn’s shirt and tugged slightly. “I’m not feeding because I couldn’t reach you and I was worried. I don’t need a chosen, I only need you.” ~

Qhuinn: [I narrowed my eyes and my growl came out louder this time as he first tried to avoid my questioning by focusing on the wrong damn thing, but before I could get on his ass about it, he finally told me what the fuck happened. Little shit was still trying to gloss over his injuries though. I frowned at what he was telling me, it didn’t add up. No-one went into shit like that without a little intel and the Brother should have known better, taking a fucking trainee…at least when I fucked up, I had the information. Not my fault demons found us then. I shook my head and grumbled more] Obviously that’s more than a little fucking bruising. You can’t roll to your back, you can’t fucking look at me, your arm is in a cast. What do they hope is reversible? 

[I growled a little louder at his stubbornness, and yet I still found myself leaning in as he tugged my shirt. I was shaking my head even as I brought my free hand up to cup his chin, mindful not to hit any more of his injuries] I’ll gladly give you my damn vein, but you need a chosen too. You’ll heal faster with the pure blood and all that. I am sorry I forgot to turn my phone back on though. I’d have been here sooner fighting you. After the meeting and seeing those two little assholes with their smug ass faces…

[I shook my head again and huffed out a breath] Yeah, I had to hold my temper in front of them both along with their parents. I told Wrath they were a liability, but his hands were pretty much fuckin tied if they want to keep the program goin right now. By the time we got back, I needed to blow off steam. Not sure I could have even held a conversation at that point.

Dehv: ~ I found that I was frowning. I couldn’t see Qhuinn’s face to know what was going on in his head, and I found that I took a lot of my cues from what he wasn’t saying rather than what he was. I waited on him finishing speaking before I licked across my lips. I hadn’t wanted to move, but I’d said what the issues were, I’d even gone into detail about why I couldn’t look at him, namely because I couldn’t actually see him. Maybe he needed details, or I’d totally and utterly fucked over his brain with an overload of what ifs. I inhaled slowly, then let it back out again, my eyes closing for just a moment as I tried to get my brain back into gear. I then pushed gently to try and roll to my stomach, the action pissing off my back and pretty much every other part of me if I was honest. “The floor, spikey. It ripped up my back before I could do much about it. But Vishous was protecting me from flying lumps of metal, which probably would have done far more damage ripping through me. We really didn’t have any information. You know he wouldn’t have gone in blind if he’d had a choice. And no, I can’t look at you because I can’t see you. I can sort of see light changes if they are bright enough, but I couldn’t tell you exactly where you were unless I have you nose to nose with me and I have to just look forward. That’s……well they hope that’s reversible. But since we’re not really a race to run headlong into sunlight, or stare through concentrated rays of it on the regular, they don’t really have a time frame like the do for the rest of me. It shouldn’t take more than a few feeds and some sleep. The cast, I’ve been told, is just to keep me from putting it at the wrong angle while it heals.” I didn’t move from my weird half stomach, half side position, but I did try to lift my chin to look in Qhuinn’s direction again before I started speaking. Wishing yet again that I could read his expression rather than having to rely on his words and tone. I cleared my throat and then dropped my eyes again so I wasn’t straining to see something that wasn’t about to happen any time soon. “I guess you’re right, a chosen will be best. I’m sorry I waited on you.” 

I blinked a few times to get rid of the overly dry feeling in my eyes and then shook my head. “Those two are going to kill someone. Or team up with the wrong side at some point. I’d have been hard pressed to hold my temper in that situation. I’m surprised that Wrath was able to, blackmailing your king isn’t the best idea in the world. They back asap, or do we get a few weeks to actually learn something without getting our ankles broken in the process?” I snorted at the thought. The two of them were a liability. They had it out for Qhuinn, that much was evident in the attack and then the bullshit need for a verbal apology. It made my skin crawl to know that Qhuinn would have to go ahead and teach them while no doubt getting blowback for every tiny thing. I also had a feeling that they’d try their best to push every boundary there was and bend that rulebook until one or more of the trainees around them snapped. With a low growl I shuffled on the bed until I was in a more comfortable position and used my good hand to run it through my hair. “You staying while I feed?” ~

Qhuinn: [I shook my head and bit back the growl that threatened at my utter frustration. I didn’t need to hear the details again. I could see the results of whatever the fuck happened. Shit that shouldn’t have happened. I couldn’t even lash out at him because what the hell good would that do. Despite the fact he should have known better and if he didn’t have the information he never should have taken a trainee into an unknown situation like this. I took several calming breaths. Something Wraith had taught me because I was ready to fucking blow. My male obviously thought I was an idiot. Or his head had been knocked to hard to understand my frustration. All I wanted him to do was see the seriousness of his injuries and not try to brush them off. The wind was knocked out of me though when he confirmed it was the eyes they weren’t certain about. Because of course it would be that. Sure Wrath made it work but they’d never allow another blind male to continue in the program. And what of his business? I bit my tongue again to keep from ranting about how this shouldn’t have happened. Instead, he finally gave me something I could do to help. I slapped the damn call button so hard and when Jane came over the intercom, I demanded a chosen afuckingsap. I could hear the anger/hurt in his voice but I couldn’t help it.] you’re right, you shouldn’t have waited, your health is more important than that. You can feed from me all you want but dammit, Dehv, I want you healing so I can take you home and care for you. I can’t do that if you don’t take care of you first. And of course I’ll be here while you feed. Like I’m going to give some chosen a chance to lure you over to the dark side. 

[I shook my head and sighed again at the return to the trainee program.] They’ll probably try for me based on their attitudes tonight. They’re back in immediately. I have to make up some bullshit to tell the others too since they’re gonna want to know why they get another chance. Just one of the perks of being low man on the totem pole that is the Brotherhood. There will be cameras and random Brothers popping in, as if I didn’t think I did a shitty enough job without all that. 

Dehv: ~ I felt the silence, as I couldn’t see it. It weighed on me and I felt even smaller as I tried to line things up in my brain with what I was hearing and feeling. It was fucking ridiculous that I couldn’t see anything, and I was struggling to figure out which other sense to use. My gut was telling me that Qhuinn was probably just frustrated and scared, just as I was, but my ears and my head were telling me a whole host of other things. Mainly that I was a complete idiot and I was now an additional burden. One that Qhuinn really didn’t need with everything going on with the Brotherhood, especially now that the idiots had been brought back into the training programme. I didn’t want to worry anyone, and I really didn’t want Qhuinn to worry. The only injury I was really worried about was my eyes. The rest would heal with a good feed or two. Nothing was life threatening, and I knew that if it was I’d have been told. Whatever had been used to knock us out had gone from my system, and the other stuff were basically surface wounds in the grand scheme of things. The eyes though, they were likely going to be an issue, deeper to heal and who knew how sunlight would affect them. And I was pissed off already, Qhuinn sounded about ready to burst. 

I opened my mouth to try and explain my confusion when the sudden noise made me jump. I groaned as my back shot fire through me. My brain telling me it was just Qhuinn getting me a chosen while also trying to calm my body back down again. I breathed hard, Qhuinn’s words making me feel shitty and warm and fuzzy all at the same time. I blinked in his general direction and frowned. My voice working, though I knew it was laced with my uncertainty. “I’m in no way lurable by a female. I’ll be sure to remember next time you need a chosen though.” I tried for a smile, but knew it fell flat. Instead I listened for the telltale sign of footsteps outside, knowing that Jane and the chosen were likely already on their way if they’d wanted me to feed earlier. I kept my gaze away from Qhuinn, or so I hoped, while I spoke. “I can’t see you. I have to go on what you say or how you sound. I’m not used to that, I can normally see what you’re not saying, or what you mean by your eyes or face. I’m sorry I’m not really interpreting correctly right now. It’ll get better, and I’ll be back to normal before you know it.” I nodded and rubbed my good hand against my face. Both eyes feeling dryer than they should despite the fact I was blinking more and feeling a little more sorry for myself than I normally did. 

I swallowed hard as the door opened and I instantly looked in Qhuinn’s direction for confirmation that it was ok. He didn’t feel like he’d tensed up, and the room still felt as calm as it had when Qhuinn walked in. Which meant I was able to guess it was in fact Jane and a chosen. I spoke to Qhuinn before I address the newcomers though. “Cameras and random brothers is good. You’ll have me, Nhick and Davidson too. As well as a lot of other trainees who aren’t about to see one of their own fucked over again. I hear both sides of the conversation, or at least as much as you’ll ever tell me. But I hear everything the trainees are talking about. I know that they were shocked at the attack, and then when they find out they’re back in, without barely a slap on the wrist. I really hope Wrath has some kind of plan in place to explain that to everyone. It won’t go down well.” I shook my head and then looked towards Jane as she introduced the chosen. The normal formal stuff that came with it also happened. I wasn’t sure where the chosen was, or whether it was wrist or throat she was offering. I had to assume throat when I felt the bed dip with the weight of someone on the other side to where Qhuinn had been. I’d not heard him move. Which meant Jane or the chosen was sitting or moving beside me. I blinked again and tried to push myself into a sitting position without looking like I’d rather flay off my own skin. “Um, thank you. For your blood I mean. I should have taken Jane up on the offer sooner. I’m honoured you’re willing to help me.” I nodded and licked over my lips as I suddenly felt self conscious. Feeding was just that unless it was with Qhuinn. And yet being unable to see what was going on, and therefore unable to see what the chosen expected made my pulse jump with uncertainty. I glanced to my side, hoping Qhuinn knew me well enough to read me and help so I could feed quickly and then get back to just the two of us. ~

Qhuinn:  [I had let out a low chuff of laughter when there was the slightest hint of a joke during all this. Apparently he still hadn’t realized I was all in and this was endfuckinggame for me.] I look forward to you watching me quite intently next time that happens. 

[I shook my head and sighed as I took his hand in mine. I needed to do something but at the same time, there was no way I could leave his side to work out the frustrations. ] Normal is overrated, but you need to get better, that’s why you need to be feeding. If I sound pissed, you need to know it’s not at you.  But yeah, I’m angry and ready to rip someones head off with this whole thing. I mean, one fucking break, that’s all I wanted for us. Maybe I’m cursed…who the fuck knows at this point. 

[I watched him rub his eyes, then blinking like they were irritated, which had me looking towards the door as if that would get Jane moving her ass any fucking quicker. When the door did finally open, Jane was followed by a dark haired Chosen, one I wasn’t familiar with. My hackles raised and I could smell the spicy scent rolling off me. I heard Dehv start in on the whole training thing but I was too focused on making sure he was taken care of and that the chosen knew her damn place. When she started to offer her throat, I held up my other hand with a low, rattling growl.] the wrist will be fine, Chosen. And you’d do well to be mindful of his injuries. 

[I saw and heard Jane try to hide a laugh and my eyes narrowed at her. She raised a hand in surrender and quickly moved around to check Dehv over. I was grateful for her assistance, so much so that I actually bit my tongue and let Dehv handle this shit without taking over. No matter how much I wanted to. Or how much I wanted to insist with go to UGH. The Chosen shrugged and moved so she was sitting, being very mindful of her positioning so she wasn’t touching Dehv more than she needed as she held her wrist up towards his mouth, her eyes on me as if waiting for my approval. I nodded slowly and she relaxed slightly, her words soft as she told Dehv to take what he needed]

Dehv: ~ I heard the growl, his words working through me just as quickly. I lifted my good hand to grip the chosen’s wrist ,but didn’t bring it to my lips right away. “As intently as you’re watching me right now?” I quirked a brow and blinked, the hand in a cast bumping against my temple as I tried to rub my eyes again. “I know, it’s you not me. I think that’s a classic break up line isn’t it?” I chuckled quietly and then let my fangs extend so I could claps onto the female’s wrist. Points sinking into the flesh and through to the vein, the blood hitting my tongue instantly. I tried to be quick and make it as painless as possible, but I heard the slight gasp as I broke skin. It always made me feel shitty, but it needed to be done. I slowly drank, taking pulls deep enough to get it over with, without causing the Chosen any discomfort. I lifted my knee to hide the natural response to feeding. I was comfortable doing this, had been doing it my entire life, and while I wasn’t used to being blind and having an audience, it was normal for our bodies to react to feeding appropriately. Normally I had a little ability to focus in on keeping things low key, but with my injuries I really didn’t have the brain power, or body control for it. It made me far more uncomfortable than a normal feeding. Especially after the joke from Qhuinn. As much as I knew how well he knew me, and how much he trusted me, it really wasn’t the best reaction to his words. 

I fed for as long as I could handle it and then pulled back. Softly thanking the female for her services and I let her wrist go so she could close the wound and get rested up. I knew it always caused some after effect when one of us fed from them. Especially when it was because we were injured. I shifted in the bed uncomfortably and ran my tongue over my fangs. Willing everything to go back to normal so I could get some rest and finish talking with Qhuinn. 

I wiped my thumb across my lips in the hope that there wasn’t any drool or blood, and then listened hard to see if there was anyone still in the room. I hoped Qhuinn had stayed, but past the amazing smell of his bonding scent that still lingered in the room, I couldn’t tell if he was still there or whether he’d nipped out. I heard murmuring and then the click of the door shutting. I swallowed hard and sighed slowly, “Are we alone?” I blinked again and shifted yet again, my back already feeling better thanks to the blood of the Chosen. “Works fast, I can almost feel it working. I wonder what it’ll be like when I wake up.” I didn’t worry too much about who was in the room, but I wanted them done. I was injured, tired and thanks to the blood running through my system, in a state I’d rather no one but my male saw. I really wanted a shower and if I was honest, just to get out the bed and move around. See if I could stop everything from tensing up. I didn’t voice that though, instead falling silent in the hopes that Qhuinn would assure me we were alone and work out how he could calm down enough to not feel like he was vibrating beside me each time he spoke. ~

Qhuinn: [I rolled my eyes even knowing he couldn’t see me. I shook my head and ignored Jane’s little looks as well as the Chosen’s look of concern.] Every bit as intently and not a break up line, you know damn well you can’t get that lucky. 

[I bite the fucking daylights out of my cheek and grasped the chair with my freehand, knuckles turning white as the metal twisted in my grip. I knew he needed to feed, and a Chosen was his best option, but that sure as fuck didn’t mean I had to like what I was watching. Especially when I saw and smelt my males arousal. I knew it was natural and all that, but with my emotions all over and my head in need of tearing someone a new asshole, it becomes harder and harder for me to sit still. My fangs pierced my tongue and I was ninety percent certain if this went on much longer, Doc would be having to do another surgery before she left the room. None too soon, he released the Chosen’s wrist and after he thanked her, Jane gave one last check and I mumbled out a thanks to them both before nodding towards the door. Now it was time for the blood to do its work.I managed to dislodge my fangs from my tongue and sighed as I scooted my chair back to the edge of the bed.] Yeah, they’re gone now. I’m not going anywhere. 

[I felt a little relieved when he said he felt it working, whether it was true or not was another story, but it had to be a start at least. I was still pissed, just not as. I’d probably keep that pissed off feeling until he was back in my bed where he belonged. Or his bed with me alongside him, either way, until he was out of here and seeing, I was going to stay pissed. I finally unwound my fingers from the chair and trailed them along his hand] Only way you’ll find out is if you finally manage to get some sleep, let the blood do its job so I can take you home.

Dehv: ~ I could feel the blood running through my veins. The difference to the blood of those I used to feed from in the club was like comparing wine to whiskey. Though, I still felt like it was wrong to have it coursing through my veins when Qhuinn was standing at my side. Especially with my bodies reaction to feeding, and the inability to clamp down on it. Had Qhuinn not been in the room I suspect I’d have been able to deal with it. Like I had all those months ago when we’d ended up in the hospital after the demon attack. That had been easy to hold myself in check. Both of us had been hurt, and I was in complete control. I felt like I wasn’t in control now. My eyesight was really bothering me, far more than I thought it would. I felt the disappointment slam into me when I felt the other injuries tingling to show that the blood had helped stimulate healing, but my eyes just continued to burn.

I let out a shaky breath and waited for the all clear from Qhuinn, the light touch of his fingers sliding over my skin only heightened how I was feeling, and I shuddered hard, a low growl slipping past my teeth before I could stop it. I licked at my lips as soon as it happened, and hoped to hell I wasn’t blushing. There was no way Qhuinn would want to know I was like some horny teenager after that. With him in the room and his bonding scent filling the air, it was little wonder, and still I knew he’s likely want to wait until I was entirely healthy again to ensure he didn’t do much damage. I shifted again, using my hand to rearrange myself under the blanket in what I hoped was some kind of subtle move. Though likely I’d just slow mo-ed my hand down my body and grabbed my junk right in front of Qhuinn, who probably had that half amused, half bemused look on his face. I got it about as often as he got me slapping my head into my forehead and laughing at him. It actually made me feel better to think of that and I found myself turning my face in his direction. “What expression do you have on your face?” I smiled, the image in my head enough to make me laugh. “I’m in pain, the injuries and otherwise. I’m not sleeping just yet, not before I know you’re alright.” I lifted my hand and felt around until I connected with what I assumed was his hip. I curled my fingers into the waistband of his pants and tugged hard enough to show I was serious, but gently enough that he wasn’t forced. “You know you are allowed to join me in here. It’s big enough and then maybe we can both take a breath. I really did think I might die tonight, and I’m more scared than I should be that even if I get my eyesight back, it won’t be the same.” I swallowed again and licked at my lips. Then I waited. I wasn’t going to push it, and I knew Qhuinn was pissed off, but I hoped that it was because he was scared for me. Which meant that once he could feel that I was alive, warm and breathing beside him, he’d start to relax a little. ~

Qhuinn: [I bit back a grin when I heard that soft growl slip out of Dehv’s body. I knew it was biology and all that shit, that Chosen’s blood would be all intoxicating and boner inducing, but I wanted to at least believe that his reactions were towards me. I could no longer hide his effect on me, my bonding scent had permeated the room the moment I saw him. It was a good thing I already had permission from Wrath to let the cat out of the bag so to speak. Fuck. My gaze ran over my bedridden male, taking in the injuries and trying to will the blood to work faster. I didn’t even bother hiding the next grin that threatened as he tried to hide his erection. I shook my head almost made a smartass comment when his words pierced through my brain. I was certain the amusement laced my words] I don’t have any expression on my face. I mean I’m just sitting here watching my male play with his junk while his in a hospital bed and I’m waaaaay over here in my chair. 

[His smile and laugh cause that stupid kick in my chest again and I wanted to curse the scribe or whoever the hell was in charge all over again for this shit. I lurched forward as he tugged, chuffing out a laugh] I’m not the one who had their ass kicked tonight, nallum. That was all you. 

[I frowned at the bed and his injuries. I hated what he was saying, if he was admitting he was scared, that meant shit had gone far more sideways than ever. I could have lost him tonight and missed out on all we had planned, all I wanted to plan with him. My mind was made up before I was even aware of it as I slid my shoes off and pushed from the chair. I carefully slid into the bed alongside him, making sure not to jostle a damn thing as I did, my hand coming to rest softly on this hip] Don’t even think by dying you’ll be getting away from me.

[I tipped my head and brushed a soft kiss along an unbruised portion of his jaw, inhaling his scent beneath all the medical crap going on and letting that soothe me as much as possible at the moment] and you will get your eyesight back, even if I have to make a deal with the devil himself. 

Dehv: ~ I felt my entire body flush as I blushed hard and groaned. My eyes squeezing shut at the entire thought of Qhuinn watching me adjust myself after a feeding. Not that I was all that embarrassed around him often, but I really didn’t want him to think that I was worked up over anything but him. The amusement in his voice and the teasing edge helped cool me down though, it put me at ease and allowed my brain to register once again the bonding scent and the fact he was here from the minute he could be, even while I fed.

I felt the reaction to my tug, and the subsequent pause. I held my breath and waited. I knew what I needed, what I wanted, but I also knew that he needed to let his mind catch up. I’d thrown him through a loop on a night when he was already highly emotional. The anger from having to apologise to the two morons in our trainee class was enough to have me growling even as I felt Qhuinn move to get into bed with me. I had to bite down on my tongue to squash the reaction, and sort my brain into the present moment. Not that it was hard to do with the rock hard muscles Qhuinn sported settling against me. The heat, and still some of that spicy goodness, surrounding me with each shift of his body. It didn’t take much for me to have to shift once again to get comfortable and try to hide my reaction. I was injured, surely my body could stop acting like a newly transitioned male at some point soon. I was an adult, a trainee for the Brotherhood. I didn’t need to be popping an erection any time my male came near. 

The gentle touches had my skin lighting up, and I huffed out a breath of happiness at the fact he was so close, everything about him lulling me back down into a calm state. I even heard the machine start to slow as my heart settled back into a steady rhythm. It made me smile, and the added bonus of that featherlight kiss only added to my chest feeling like it was swelling to three times its normal size. I reached with my good hand to lace our fingers together and tipped my head to get closer to those kisses. “Thank you for rushing here, and for sticking through the feeding. I have no intention of dying to get away from you. Though I’m sure the one in charge would just send my ass back to annoy you, rather than keep me around to annoy them.” I chuckled, my smile growing as I rubbed a thumb over the skin I could feel under my fingers. “This is serious isn’t it? I mean, you and I. We’ve not really been able to catch a break for the last 6 or 7 months, and just when we do I go and get myself injured. I mean, I knew what we were, but I think the fact you’re here while I’m about as useful as a newborn baby really speaks volumes. And don’t take that the wrong way. I’ll start imagining all sorts of expressions on your face. Then I’ll panic. Anyway…” I sighed. Glad I couldn’t see Qhuinn’s face as I babbled on. The words seemed far more seamless in my head. Flowing and heartfelt. Sounding like a half drunk toad really hadn’t been what I meant. “I don’t really want to keep it on the downlow any more. I want to take the time others get to be with their mates, and I want to insist it’s public knowledge. I don’t care what Wrath says. We’re worth that.” I nodded and swallowed hard. Blinking around the dryness in my eyes as I held my breath and waited for the reaction to my idiot speech. ~

Qhuinn: [I pressed as close as I dared with his injuries, my rubbing over his hospital Jonny against his hip before he took my hand and laced our fingers together. His erection sent my mind spiraling in a hundred different directions even knowing it was because he’d just fed and nothing more. I wanted to pounce and claim and make him, and everyone in a ten block radius, aware that he was mine. That would have to wait though.  A lot of things would have to wait right now. I shook my head and grumbled at his words] I should have been here sooner, would have been. And if I didn’t get sent back for being annoying, you certainly wouldn’t. 

[I flashed a soft smile, even though he couldn’t see me, as his own smile grew. That smile would get me out fighting for the race any damn day of the week, and who knows what else. I sighed heavily when he mentioned we’d not had a break in the 7 months we’d been together. He was right, it was one damn thing after another almost from the night we met. Well no, including the night we met since I was someone completely different then. Didn’t we deserve a fucking break at this point? But the fact he was questioning if it was serious or not really stabbed me in the chest. I’d obviously not done well in showing him that. He had no clue I wanted…what I wanted from him. I sighed again and gave his fingers a squeeze] If you don’t know how I feel about you by now, how serious this is at least from my side of things, then I’ve done a shitty job of showing you. Which I mean, I can partially blame on the endless shitshow that seems to be my life at the moment. We do deserve better. I was going to tell you that Wrath gave his blessing tonight. We don’t have to hide anymore, I do still have to prove I can work without favoritism, but other than that, we’re good. 

[I gave a slight nod and kissed the corner of his mouth] I’m not going anywhere and no one can say a damn thing about it. For now though, you should probably rest. 

Dehv: ~ I felt the change instantly, and I actually breathed a little easier knowing that I could still anticipate some of Qhuinn’s changes even without my sight. That was good, even if I didn’t ever see quite as I had before. I automatically tightened my grip on his fingers, trying to reassure even while I found myself huffing out a laugh. “Perhaps they’ll just send us both back and we’ll have to do some kind of weird assault cause to find each other again.” I chuckled and then sobered again. My words seeming to be met with elation and then uncertainty. I frowned and shifted so I was facing a little more in his direction, the move allowing me to press flush against his body, loving the feel of all that hard muscle pressed against my side. Even if it left my injured arm squashed between us. I didn’t much care if I broke the damn thing again, as long as I was close enough to inhale the spicy scent that was uniquely Qhuinn’s every time I breathed in. I heard his words, and I felt my heart stutter a beat. I was shaking my head before he even stopped talking. Almost missing that Wrath had given his blessing that we were able to be open about everything. My grin split my face without thought, and I relaxed against the bed. That would be so much easier than having to sneak around and hide. It would also afford my friends, the two who knew, the freedom to not have to keep things from their peers too. That would make their lives easier and make me feel better about having confided in them.

I groaned softly at the kiss and turned my face automatically to chase for more when the contact was lost. Unable to know if I was going in the right direction, and wanting to speak almost as badly. Reassuring Qhuinn won out though, and as much as I wanted to jump him and insist I wasn’t hurt all that badly, I knew he’d likely call me a liar and roll his eyes. Instead I wanted him to know where I was coming from. “I grew up with humans. I’ve only had one serious relationship, and it went up in flames when I transitioned. They aren’t like us, they come and go as they want. Break ups are sad, but they’re not literal heartbreak in a lot of cases. When I ask, I’m asking because I don’t always understand everything about this world I am now living in, and I surely don’t understand all of what by body is trying to do. You make me comfortable to explore that and not feel self conscious about things happening when they shouldn’t, or randomly busting out the spicy shit when you’re being beaten in front of me in class without me being able to stop it. In the human world, I’d not have been welcome to go full beast mode because someone punched the person I was in love with. I know it’s serious, but I mean, it’s more than that. We’re um….bonded right? Have I got that right, the terminology I mean?” I licked over my lips and grumbled at myself. Since I’d only ever used the word to really apply it to others, it felt weird to apply it to myself. I had no clue if I was saying the right thing, but I figured Qhuinn would correct me if I’d gone in the wrong direction. “I am really happy that Wrath has give us the all clear, that is a weight off. I didn’t want to hide us. We deserve to be giving rotations together that will allow us to have time with each other that isn’t in a training centre or out on the streets.” I smiled again and dragged my thumb over the warm skin of Qhuinn’s hand, my body feeling relaxed from the feeding, and having my male so close. Resting would happen, but I was determined to stay awake long enough to know if I had been right about us. Hopeful that my words had expelled any uncertainty that my original question had put in his mind. ~

Qhuinn: [When he turned his head, I couldn’t help brushing a soft kiss over that smile of his. Then I waited for him to explain. I think I needed to hear why he had the doubts he did. Or the questions at least. I knew life had been one nightmare after another for the past seven months but I didn’t think I’d done that piss poor of a job. I ran my thumb over his hand as he spoke and nodded slowly at the questions, despite him not being able to see me. I waited until he ran out of steam and then let out a soft laugh] mmm, well I…remember that first trip to hell when we ended up in the hospital. I told you then that I bonded with you, that even before my brain had caught up with what was going on, you were it for me. The thing is, I’d have chosen you anyway and I’m hoping you feel the same or I’m going to look like a jackass here right about now. I want you comfortable to explore this side of things since you’ve not had much opportunity, you can question and all that.

[I nodded again and just kept his hand in mine, despite wanting to wrap an arm around him. I knew I couldn’t, not while he was so injured, but there was that internal conflict that I had to fight on that. He was mine and I had to protect him, keep him safe. A hand in his would have to be enough for now. ] We should get some …well, we’ll have plenty right now since your ass won’t be going out at all. It will be nice though, once you’re healed up, for us to maybe actually get out without having to bribe someone for time or sneak our asses around. I think the Brothers three will be happy about that too. Wraith was about to bust us out one night I think. 

[I paused, my brain going into warp drive at that. Shit. I’m going to have to let them know what happened too since I’m sure I missed check in. Protective assholes.I noticed he was getting sleepier and fighting  it. Stubborn little shit that he was.] Now that we’re no longer on lockdown, we’ll have to try that whole date night thing again. Though I’d prefer to wait until you’re better. Which means you have got to stop fighting it, nallum, and get some rest.

Dehv: ~ I smiled sleepily as my lips still tingled from the kiss. Wanting and craving more as was always the case. I blinked and remembered back to that night at the hospital. He had said that. It had barely registered with the head injury, but I knew that deep down it had stuck. It felt like my body was relaxing now that I was having it confirmed. That what I was thinking was true, and that it did have a name. That how I felt was normal, or as normal as either one of us ever got. I chuckled at his declaration, and the fact he’d look like a jackass. Wouldn’t be the first time. I nodded and moved slightly to get more comfortable and give Qhuinn a little more space on the bed with me. I was fading fast now, and while I was still raging with hormones, I was also feeling lethargic and floppy. I hummed quietly before I spoke. “I know I can ask questions. I don’t want you questioning whether you’re showing me, you are. I just question because I was brought up human basically. I see them walk away from each other after thirty years together without more than angry shouting and I am not sure I’d be capable of that. Not how I feel right now.” I shook my head and then tipped my chin again to blink sleepily at the male lying beside me. Up this close I could almost swear I could see every fleck in his mismatched eyes. I knew I probably looked like I was glazed over, but I was trying hard to make my eyes work, to make them see my male and let me get drawn into those unique eyes like I normally did. I wasn’t sure why he’d chosen me, but I wasn’t going to bring up his error in judgement. I was keeping him now that I had him. Especially now I didn’t have to try and hide it in training from everyone but Davidson and Nhick. I just wished the image I had in my head would become reality. Praying in a way that I never did, that the Chosen blood would work before I woke.

I frowned as the next words sunk in, a growl rumbling through me before I even thought of it. “I’m going to be fine, and then I’ll be back in training and out on patrol. I promise, this isn’t anywhere near as bad as it looks.” I shook my head and squeezed his hand. I wasn’t sure why I was promising that, whether it was for him or for me. I knew I was terrified that I’d be stuck this way. I knew I’d make it work, but I’d be damned if I didn’t fight my ass off to ensure I got back my eyesight so I could get back to patrolling and training. I’d only just found my place here, I wasn’t losing that now. The growl died down quickly though, and I found myself exhaling hard. Trying to clear the panic and focus on the good, on the things that kept me grounded. I wasn’t going to lose Qhuinn or the Brotherhood or the trainees if I didn’t heal, I’d just have to find a new way to help support them. That I could do. I licked at my lips and realised I was thirsty as well as sleepy. “Could I have a sip of the water on the side, please?” I smiled and then swallowed hard. “And yes, now that we don’t have to hide hopefully they’ll actually allow us time off together. Think you’d want to move in to save us having to always pick a place and pack a bag before each session? I mean, it’s been months, but feel free to say no. I’d move to yours, but I need the office space. Though I guess I could just go there for meetings and….well. Let me know.” I trailed off and then yawned loudly.

Feeling sated of thirst and comfortable with Qhuinn relaxing beside me I knew I was fighting it, but I didn’t want to drift off when I wasn’t sure what the next day would bring. Yet I wasn’t able to keep my eyes open any longer. I tried to mumble that I wasn’t fighting it, I was just fine. I’d be more than able to get up and go train right now if I needed. But I felt like my tongue was too big for my mouth. I barely even noticed when reality blended with unconsciousness. ~

Qhuinn: [I pressed as close as I dared when Dehv moved. I couldn’t help being cautious, I didn’t want to be responsible for any additional injuries he might incur. I shook my head and let out a low chuckle that wasn’t quite amusement but close] I know you grew up with humans, but we are nothing like them. When we are bonded to another, it’s for keeps. We’ll probably fight over the years, it’s inevitable, but at least from this side, there is no walking away. 

[When his head tipped up and his eyes fought for focus, my heart crackled a little more. They were twitching and darting around and I knew he wasn’t seeing me and that, well that fucking hurt. He was always the one person who would look at me and never see the fuck up that  I was, even when I did massively fuck shit up. His eyes were so expressive of everything he thought and felt. Now they were just empty.  I shook my head at his growl and sighed] When you can see again, then you can worry about training and patrol, until then just relax so you can heal. 

[I reached over and grabbed the water for him, holding it to his lips while he took a few needed sips. His next question caused a whole other tumble in my chest but not for bad reasons. I knew what we were and how we were, but this was still a big step. One that I hadn’t counted on for some reason. I brought our joined hands up and kissed his knuckles as he started to fade off into sleep, finally. His half whispered arguments against it fell on deaf ears because he couldn’t keep fighting it] We’ll figure out which place suits us best and go from there. Sleep, dream, and let your body heal.

[I settled my head on the pillow and watched him as sleep finally took hold. Maybe that made me a creeper, but I didn’t care. When the door cracked open hours later, Jane came in to check on him and covered us both with a blanket. I thanked her silently and then continued on as I was until finally I felt secure he was safe, he was healing and he was mine, and only then did I finally give in to my own need for sleep.]

[buckys-beach]

Dialling Daddy- Tom Holland

lol I’m so bad at keeping up to date with requests, but I am doing more so please take this as an apology present xx

Imagine: When doing a live streamed interview with a wheel of ‘punishments’, your punishment doesn't seem too bad, until your are forced to ring your Dad, only it’s not the Daddy everyone is expecting

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Word Cont: 1286

Warning: none?? daddy kink?

“Hello, and welcome everyone. Today I’m joined with some of the Avengers cast!” the obnoxiously loud interviewer announced to his live streaming audience. 

“For those of you who live under a rock, we are with Robert Downey Jr aka Iron Man, Anthony Mackie aka Falcon, Sebastian Stan aka The Winter Soldier and finally Tom Holland aka the amazing Spiderman!” He near enough screamed, you winced to the side of them, off camera- luckily. As you caught Tom’s eye you sent a supportive smile his way, just managing to resist the eye roll.

The boys all chorused in a polite hello, Tom eager to get this finished so he could spend the rest of his day with you.

“So, today I’m going to be asking you all questions regarding The Avengers cast, whoever gets the answer correct is safe. However, if you choose the wrong answer then you have to spin the wheel of punishment” The interviewer, Gary you think his name was, turned to reveal a rather large wheel that had punishments waiting for them to do with just a spin. 

You gazed up at the board, spacing out the interview behind you, focusing on reading some of the ‘punishments’. ‘Let the player on your right tweet something off your account’ that one’s funny you mused, ‘ring you last texted person’, ‘read out your last text’, ‘call your parents’ and so on, some of them were completely pointless though, like ‘jump up and down for 10 seconds’. Drawing your attention back to the interview you watched, just admiring how far your boyfriend had come.

“Who has been voted the cutest Avenger” Gary questioned,

RDJ immediately answered, “well obviously it’s me, have you seen this face” to which he posed at the camera, causing the three men next to him to fall into a fit of giggles.

“I reckon they think it’s Tom” Seb replied, throwing an exaggerated eye roll with Mackie joining in on it as well. Yes, you though, here we go. You loved nothing more than watching Anthony and Seb take the piss out of Tom, it was just hilarious.

“You are correct!” Gary beamed, but before he could continue, Anthony began talking,

“That’s only because you guys don’t know the real him” he pointed accusingly at the camera

“Oh come on guys” Tom interjected, with a smile playing on his features

“Tom’s a little asshole” Anthony declared, Seb doing a knowing ‘hmmm’ by his side. You suddenly erupted in laughter, Tom let out a small ‘hey’ whilst being comforted by RDJ

“It’s true, everyone knows it. Isn’t that right (Y/N)?!” Seb shouted to you

“It’s true!” you called back, obviously joking

“You’re meant to be on my side darling” Tom tried to defend himself and act serious, but because of the smile on your face, he can’t help but crack.

“Oh man that stings” RDJ laughed.

Gary’s head whipped to you, and upon seeing a way to get more views, he jumped out of his chair and pulled you over to the rest of them.

“And here we have (Y/N), Tom’s girlfriend for? How long has it been now guys?” He directed the question to you two.

“Almost two and a half years now” Tom hummed, sending you a loving smile, which you automatically mimicked. Anthony made gagging noises in the back ground,

“God these two are already making me feel lonely” Seb stated, giving you a quick hug

“They make me feel so old!” RDJ joined in with Seb

“Shut up guys, you’re just jealous” You fired back, happy to joke with these guys as you were all close friends now because you always came to visit Tom on set. Your boyfriend took your hand and pulled you onto his lap, due to the lack of chairs.

“Well that’s not fair if they are a team, they have the young people knowledge” Anthony interjected

“Well then (Y/N) and Tom can’t be on a team, or help each other, it’s every man for themselves!” Gary joked, sending accusing eyes towards you and your boyfriend

“As if I’d help her” Tom quirked, to which you responded with an over dramatic gasp and pinched his leg, emitting a loud ‘owww’ from him.

“Serves you right” you sent a smirk in his direction. Both of you locked eyes, unable to pull away from each other’s gazes, however you are immediately interrupted

“God, it’s started already” RDJ despaired

“What?” Gary asks, intrigued

“They just get stuck in their own world with each other, it’s really difficult to get them to break it up” RDJ explained

“Yeah, she’s the master at distracting him” Seb spoke, causing both you and Tom’s cheeks to turn a deep shade of red

“Guy leave us alone! Let’s get on with the game” Tom tried to change to topic, which Gary was more than happy to get back to his game.

About 20 minutes later Gary finally asks you a question, instead of trying to dig into Seb’s and Anthony’s love lives, which he’s been doing for far too long.

“So (Y/N), here’s your question…” you heart got a little faster for some reason, probably due to not wanting to face one of those stupid punishments,

“How many minutes of screen time does Tom get in Infinity War?”

“I don’t even know that!” Tom squealed, almost causing you to fall off his lap. The other three were snickering due to the difficulty of your question

“Honestly, I have no clue” You answered. Gary’s smile widened, and now you could see he gave you an impossible question on purpose so you had to do a punishment.

“Well then, give the wheel a spin”

You walked over to the stupid wheel and gave it a halfhearted spin, the punishments were whizzing around. Until it finally landed on …

‘Let a cast member call one of your parents’ how is that even a punishment? You thought, your Dad would love a phone call from RDJ!

“Alright then hand over your phone to one of the cast, Tom is excluded from this though” Gary added

“Here you go, have a nice call with my Dad” you joked, passing on your phone to RDJ

“Hey, why not us?” Seb and Anthony both gasped

“Guys I would never trust you to speak to my parents” You laughed, Tom joining in

“Okay guys, back to Robert calling (Y/N)’s Dad” Gary was obviously desperate to get this footage.

“SIRI, call Dad” RDJ spoke to the phone, of course, too lazy to go through your contacts. You don’t blame him though, ever since Tom became more well-known you both have added many many names to your contacts

“Okay, calling Daddy” The automated voice replied.

Before you or Tom could even process what was about to happen, Tom’s phone, very loudly started going off. His face erupted bright red and tried desperately to turn it off before anyone noticed. But of course, he managed to drop the phone, and Anthony, thinking he was helping, picked up the phone and looked at the caller ID.

“(Y/N)’s calling?” it took everyone a minute to work out what was happening, until RDJ, Seb and Anthony all began to howl with louder, resulting in you and Tom not being able to look anyone in the eye.

“Oh my God” RDJ managed to wheeze out

“Well folks, I think that concludes our interview with the Avengers bye” Gay turned off the camera, with a fake apology adorned to his face.

“Oooo Daddy Tom” Anthony choked

“We are never gonna live this down” Tom whispered in your ear, causing you both to fall into giggles as well.

And sure enough, later that night it was trending all over twitter.

#tony stark #tom holland #tony stark x reader #tony stark imagine #spiderman #spiderman imagine #spiderman x reader #Spider-Man: Homecoming #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #The Avengers #avengers imagines #the avengers imagine #avengers imagine #Avengers #captain america #captain america civil war #captain america x reader #captain america civil war imagine #bucky barnes imagine #the winter solider imagine #infinity war

[universallytreepeace]

Macos Sierra Dmg File

macOS Sierra 10.12.6 is the is the latest update from Apple. If you are looking for macOS Seirra DMG file latest version. you are on the right place from here you can download macOS Sierra 10.12.6. With Direct Download Links for full offline installer for Mac user.

Macos High Sierra 10.13.2 Dmg Files

Macos Sierra 10.12 (16a323) Bootable Usb (dmg File)

Install Macos Sierra Dmg File.rar

Macos High Sierra Dmg File

When Apple announced the macOS Sierra 10.12.6 latest version for Mac System. With Siri integration, and revamped apple music application and much more. Not only this. MacOS Sierra 10.12.6 Final brings a whole bunch of amazing features.

MacOS Sierra 10.12.6 dmg for mac free. download full version. Complete setup MacOS Sierra 10.12.6 offline installer for mac OS with direct link. Open Terminal from the Launchpad or Applications list. Type “cd Desktop” on the command line and hit return to enter the Desktop folder. Type “mkdir macoslocal” and hit return to create the root directory of the same name on Desktop. Go to the newly created folder by typing “cd macoslocal” and hitting return. Are you looking for a direct download link for MacOS High Sierra ISO installer or dmg file for your Mac or Windows computer or virtual machine then you are at the right place.

At for WINDOWS USERS, However, you are still able to download MacOS High Sierra.DMG using the following direct download link from our server without Apple Store. Download High MacOS.DMG, ISO without Apple Store. The following MacOS High Sierra Official – InstallESD.dmg file was downloaded from App store then uploaded by MacDrug. How To Download MacOS High Sierra 10.13: Offline setup DMG (Mac Image File) for the latest version of MacOS High Sierra 10.13.2 is provided below. Click the relevant below and get the download started. Image File MacOS High Sierra. For the strongest security and latest features, find out whether you can upgrade to macOS Catalina, the latest version of the Mac operating system. If you still need macOS Sierra, use this link: Download macOS Sierra. A file named InstallOS.dmg will download to your Mac.

MacOS Sierra final will also help you to shop more securely from online stores and with the new file system.

Download macOS Sierra 10.12.6 DMG file

You can download the latest update of macOS Sierra 10.12.6 Final DMG file directly from the App Store or you can download it from given direct download links.

Download macOS Sierra 10.12.6 Combo Update The macOS Sierra 10.12.6 update improves the security, stability, and compatibility of your Mac, and is recommended for all users.

For more detailed information about this update, please visit: https://support.apple.com/kb/HT207835

Download macOS Sierra 10.12.5 Combo Update The macOS Sierra 10.12.5 update improves the security, stability, and compatibility of your Mac, and is recommended for all users.

This update:

Fixes an issue where audio may stutter when played through USB headphones

Enhances compatibility of the Mac App Store with future software updates

Adds support for media-free installation of Windows 10 Creators Update using Boot Camp

For more detailed information about this update, please visit: https://support.apple.com/kb/HT207706

Download macOS Sierra 10.12.4 Combo Update The macOS Sierra 10.12.4 update improves the stability, compatibility, and security of your Mac, and is recommended for all users.

This update:

Adds Night Shift for automatically shifting the colors in your display to the warmer end of the spectrum after dark

Adds Siri support for cricket sports scores and statistics for Indian Premier League and International Cricket Council

Adds Dictation support for Shanghainese

Resolves several PDF rendering and annotation issues in Preview

Improves the visibility of the subject line when using Conversation View in Mail

Fixes an issue that may prevent content from appearing in Mail messages

For more detailed information about this update, please visit: https://support.apple.com/kb/HT207536

Download macOS Sierra 10.12.1 Update The macOS Sierra 10.12.1 update improves the stability, compatibility, and security of your Mac, and is recommended for all users.

This update:

Adds an automatic smart album in Photos for Depth Effect images taken on iPhone 7 Plus

Improves the compatibility of Microsoft Office when using iCloud Desktop and Documents

Fixes an issue that may prevent Mail from updating when using a Microsoft Exchange account

Fixes an issue that caused text to sometimes paste incorrectly when using Universal Clipboard

Improves reliability of Auto Unlock with Apple Watch

Improves security and stability in Safari

For more detailed information about this update, please visit: https://support.apple.com/kb/HT206174

Above are all the download links for macOS Sierra 101.12 Final DMG file you can download directly from apple download center.

macOS Sierra 10.12 Final Feature Review

MacOS Sierra 10.12.6 comes up with a bunch of amazing cools features but I have only listed down the new features which are added in the latest release. So let’s have a look to some cool features of macOS Sierra 10.12.6

The Night Mode is one of the coolest feature added in it, by turning it on, the color scheme of your Apple Screen automatically changes according to the light outside.

New supports have been added in Siri, now you can have the scores of IPL and International Cricket Council.

PDF File Support In the previous version, a PDF file was encountering an issue while opening. This issue is fixed in the latest release.

Mail View And some changes are made in Mail view and Mail messages.

The dictation of Shanghainese language is added in MacOS Sierra 10.12.4.

Security This release provides your Mac more security, stability and better performance.

Manual Installation for Mac User

as a mac user its really simple to get to the latest update of macOS Sierra from Apple store. but if you need macOS Sierra 10.12.6 DMG file offline installer you can download from the above links and install macOS Sierra on your Mac without having an internet connection.

you can go for fresh installation of macOS Sierra final with DMG files

Dmg dual spindle cnc lathe. NRX Series - Horizontal Production Turning Machines and CNC Lathes by DMG MORI. Horizontal Production Turning. The NRX 2000 is a front parallel dual-spindle dual-turret turning center constructed in response to a. This used DMG-Mori NRX2000 6-Axis Dual-Spindle Dual-Turret CNC Turning Center is available now on the used machinery market from Resell CNC. DMG MORI latest product and topics. Find the best machine that meets your workpiece and machining requirements. Parallel Dual-spindle Turning Centers. Your search resulted in 1 results. With the new multi-spindle automatic lathes, DMG MORI has developed a highly flexible machine concept which productively manufactures complex turned and milled parts in both chuck and bar machining. The bar capacity is a diameter of 25 mm with the MULTISPRINT 25 and 36 mm in the MULTISPRINT 36. High-performance Universal CNC Lathes with Power and Precision. Turning Centers 2016/04/29 UP. CTX beta 800 linear. High-performance Universal CNC Lathe with Power and Precision. Turning Centers 2016/04/29 UP. CTX beta 1250 linear. High-performance Universal CNC Lathe with Power and Precision. Parallel Dual-spindle Turning.

but if you want to go for online update so the procedure as following

Step 1: Open App Store

Open your App Store for Mac and click on the Software Update option at the top of App Store from the Updates tab.

macOS Sierra is available directly from the Mac App Store as a free upgrade to anyone using OS X Snow Leopard or later on their Macs. If you need a copy of OS X Snow Leopard, it’s still available directly from Apple online.

Step 2: Download macOS Sierra 10.12.6 Update

If an update is present it will be shown there.

Click on Update to start downloading the update. You need to be connected to the internet throughout downloading and installation.

Step 4: Install the Update

When you are done with downloading, the setup will take you to Installation window.

Step 5: Restart Your Mac

When your installation completes, restart your Mac and now you can enjoy the latest MacOS Sierra 10.12.6 on your machine.

Bottom Line

Update your Mac with the latest build of MacOS Sierra 10.12.6 and enjoy the new and amazing features. And keep your Mac more stable and protected with this new release. Thank you.

macOS Sierra 10.12 (16A323) bootable USB (DMG File) Mac Torrent Crack Free Download. MacOS sierra dmg is an absolutely free approaching functioning program from Apple made for Macs and Macbook Professionals. Given that the comply with-up to Apple’s previous release, Sierra, macOS Substantial Sierra takes factors to the next stage, like its name indicates, and includes brand-new features plus a refined look and effectiveness. Accessible on new Macs and with backward compatibility on some more mature models, the newest release of Apple’s flagship working procedure guarantees an awesome computing expertise for some Mac and MacBook Pro people.

MacOS Sierra DMG MAC

Announced at Apple’s WWDC ’seventeen event, macos sierra dmg download introduces Mac users to new Main engineering that gives Every process with a boost in functionality. With advancements for the most simple and vital functions of the Mac, its powerful graphics processors and knowledge storage mean end users can take entire advantage of their Laptop’s abilities. Its responsive layout website also ensures that frequent responsibilities are simpler to conduct than ever. It is also even safer with developed-in encryption, simplified details backup, and crash-Secure defense.

Mac OS X Sierra DMG

Upon initial glance, Substantial mac os x sierra torrent appears to be an awful ton like its predecessor, Sierra, but that’s exactly where the similarities end. Beneath the hood, general performance is boosted by a brand new Apple file process, HEVC (higher-effectiveness online video coding) and the new Metal two graphics processor, just to call a couple of. Even the normal applications receive an improvement in effectiveness that appears to capitalize on improved navigation and pace that is definitely intuitive to most users.

Beneath its deceptively simple design lies a powerful virus cleaner that works in real-time to detect and remove not only Mac-specific viruses and spyware, but PC and mobile threats, too. So AVG AntiVirus not only helps protect all that’s important on your Mac, it also prevents you from infecting. Mac os cleaner virus.

Format Your USB Flash Drive:

Macos High Sierra 10.13.2 Dmg Files

1. Insert the USB flash drive into your Mac’s USB port. 2. Launch Disk Utility, located at /Applications/Utilities/. 3. In the list of drives attached to your Mac, select the USB flash drive device. In my case, it’s called “16 GB TDK Stick”. 4. Click on “Erase” 5. Name the formatted USB drive “Untitled” 6. Select Mac OS X Extended (Journaled) from the Format drop-down menu. 7. For Scheme choose “GUID Partition Map” 6. And click “Erase”

Now the USB flash drive is prepared you can Restore “Install macOS Sierra.dmg” to your USB flash drive.

Macos Sierra 10.12 (16a323) Bootable Usb (dmg File)

1. Open Disk Utility 2. In the menu left of the “Disk Utility” window select the USB Drive “Untitled”. 3. In the top menu bar from “Disk Utility” click “Edit” / “Restore” 4.Click on “Image” and go to the DMG File with macOS Sierra named “Install macOS Sierra.dmg” and click “Open” 5. Now click “Restore”

(To install Mac Sierra Torrent restart your Mac with “alt” hold and select your USB flash drive)

Install Macos Sierra Dmg File.rar

Done. ————————————————————————

Known problem: the image needs to be scanned before restore? Unmount the dmg file named “Install macOS Sierra.dmg” (if it is mounted 🙂 Go to the top menu of “Disk Utility” window and select “images” and then “Scan image for restore” Go to the “Install macOS Sierra.dmg” and click open. Now you are able to restore the dmg-file to your USB drive.

Macos High Sierra Dmg File

Enjoy Ccleaner for mac download.

[rinnnyxr]

Taurus - Earth paperback books going off the grid the “change my mind” meme introduced friends to natural wine dab pens chunky knits collecting hopscotches vibe check using hands as utensils trail mix wary of new people refined taste in art thanklessly supportive can’t take your own great advice comfortable footwear splurging on candles bear hugs *sort by price: highest -> lowest * cleaning as you go lazy Sundays annoyed by people who lack follow through rainy day blanket forts probiotics motivated by spite 6/24

Gemini - Air chewing gum free trials answering a question with a new question editorializing diabolical laughter spilling other people’s gossip think pieces knowing what makes anyone tick messy car bar hopping schemes embodiment of the ‘tongue sticking out’ emoji stirring the pot vocal in ever group chat used to be famous on Wattpad “hey Siri” actually loving small talk would fight or fuck a stranger computer desktop full of unorganized files rooting for villains reading tabloids in the grocery line pretending to look busy can list 10 famous Geminis swiping Tinder without looking 3/24

Cancer - Water baking from scratch dreaming of an RV trip craving codependency scent-based memories Sunday morning open houses keeping a list of baby names holding hands cozy nights in same best friends since 1st grade serial monogamy needing a foundation of trust texts < phone calls longing stares mood playlists vanilla-scented everything saying “please” and “thank you” feeling misunderstood taking great pics of your friends favorite season is autumn black and white filters vintage tea sets silent treatment home resemble a dollhouse nostalgic for a historical period you never experienced 7/24

-

I can’t wait to not live with my parents I check facebook everyday I have no idea what to do with my life after I graduate Malibu is my choice of rum I strongly dislike the taste of beer I remember lyrics easily My room is an absolute mess at the moment I don’t have a twitter account I love Jake and Amir ^Their older stuff was better though I enjoy playing video games I’ve driven drunk I’m trying not to smoke weed anymore I lovelovelove finding new music I wish I could wear shorts all year People seem to think I have a “bad reputation” I am not a slut ^But I admit, I am a tease at times Apparently I lead guys on without even knowing it I want to travel I suck hardcore at pool I shop at TNA I watch Jersey Shore ^Sammi is a dumb bitch I am super excited for Halloween this year ^I’m gonna look cute I still listen to Christina Aguilera ^I like her older stuff waaay better than any recent shit I have a bad habit of not texting people back I want a new phone oh so badly I was 16 the first time I ever smoked weed I haven’t saved any money in months I don’t wish I was taller, I like my height I love spending the entire day at the beach I hope it doesn’t snow this winter I have friends I don’t trust I’m uncomfortable hanging out with people younger than me I have never liked a guy younger than me I like playing solitaire on my iPod I hate Usher’s song “OMG” I can’t see myself ever being addicted to cigarettes I want a new job Someone misses me a lot more than I miss them I wish my boobs were a bit bigger I enjoy bitching people out when they deserve it I hate days where nothing goes right I really don’t care for Christmas ^I look forward to New Years more I wish I had a good book to read I love when I make the right choice Sometimes I’m a sore loser I chew gum every day I usually shampoo and condition my hair every day I hate hairspray I would never get eyelash extensions People always think I wear hair extensions, but I don’t I think I look fine without makeup ^But I still wear it practically every day I haven’t gone out to see a movie in awhile I’ve wasted months and months on a guy who wasn’t even worth it My mom constantly judges me Ke$ha’s music is catchy I was never really a fan of Britney Spears The only sport I’m really interested in is soccer The only “fast food” place I eat at is Subway I never have whip cream on anything I order at Starbucks I love just chilling in Starbucks with a drink and something to eat I like to party I kind of want to start watching Glee French fries are delicious I hate crying in front of other people I always plug my iPod in when I drive There’s someone I’m looking forward to seeing next summer I like the size of my computer screen I love when my legs are hairless and smooth My nails are always short I can’t remember the last time I bought a CD I only wear tampons ^Pads just gross me out and are uncomfortable I hate when something I want to wear is dirty or in the wash Half the clothes I own, I don’t wear Smirnoff Ices > Palm Bays I’ve never been in love ^But I’ve been in lust I’m not a very cautious driver

-

1. I’ve only had two boyfriends. And I’ve only kissed two people. 2. I’m really picky about everything. 3. There isn’t a single thing that I wouldn’t over-analyze. 4. Every time I’m on the computer, I’m on Tumblr. 5. My biggest fear is that I’ll look back on my life and feel like it wasn’t even worth it. 6. I don’t know how to change that. But I’m trying anyway. 7. I still don’t drive but I hope I’ll have a car by the beginning of 2021. 8, is my favorite number. 9. Jersey Shore has to be one of the best reality shows ever. 10. If I had to marry a girl it would be Rihanna or Lady Gaga. 11. I have spider bites on the left side of my lip. 12. My hair is dyed red. 13. I can’t wait until I have enough money to go shopping. 14. Winter is my favorite season. But I quite like fall. 15. I would love to travel to different countries. 16. I’ve never even left the east coast. 17. I’m not extremely religious but I love my church. 18. I’m very sentimental. 19. It doesn’t take much for something to remind me of someone. 20. My dreams are always really crazy. I like to analyze them sometimes. 21. I’m so glad the new season of House has started. 22. I should really exercise but I seriously lack motivation. 23. I’m constantly using adverbs. 24. When I’m feeling emotional, I like to write about it. 25. I kind of feel lost. Like I’m floating with no direction. 26. I probably worry entirely too much about my future. 27. This winter, I’m going to work on totally changing my wardrobe. 28. I love it when I can really get into a song or a book. 29. The amount of Facebook creeping I do is probably not healthy. 30. My nails are always painted black and white. 31. It really bothers me when I make a list and it begins with the same thing so this survey is annoying to make. 32. Purple is my favorite color. 33. There’s a career that I would love but I don’t really know how I’d even get involved in it. 34. I want to be fucking rich. 35. I’d rather live in the city. 36. My parents have been divorced for a long time. 37. I’m a big daydreamer. It affects my life a lot because I wish that I could actually live in the imaginary world I create for myself. 38. I hope that one day, I’ll feel like I’m good enough for someone. 39. Cherry Coke is the best soda. 40. It honestly blows me when people say they can’t tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi. But it’s even more appalling when they think Pepsi is better. 41. I’m pretty liberal. 42. I’m really easily annoyed and I can’t even stand people for the most part. 43. I try to find out why I do the things I do and feel the way I feel about everything. 44. I hope one day, I’ll find someone who’s worth knowing everything about me. 45. Honestly, I think I’m an interesting person. 46. But I really don’t like for people to find out that much about me. 47. Lately, I’ve sort of been into making lists. 48. I’ve changed a lot over the years. 49. I don’t regret anything.

-

Gemini Ohh..those mood swings Constantly second guessing themselves Expert procrastinator Hate taking responsibility for any mess up Laugh at their own jokes They always light up your mood They will always tell you the truth even if it’s harsh They can’t stay at one place for too long Avoid conflicts at any cost Still flirts with you like you’re their crush 6/10

Libra They’re very indecisive They have a child like energy They hate when things don’t happen the way they wanted They love exploring new places with you They’re so charming that you’re sometimes scared of their loyalty They get very sarcastic after a fight They always have time to listen to your problems They can be very stubborn sometimes They have a really good taste in movies and music They like writing for you 7/10

Aquarius They’re very romantic They don’t give up easily They’re good listeners They hate being controlled Kind of impatient Most empathetic person you know They love to live happily and freely They’re good at remembering dates They act stronger than they’re actually They’re always down to try new things 5/10

[inhodear]

* long flight ( solo )

WRITING TASK #001: music prompt! ↳ taeyong -- long flight 

dance in a swimming pool called sky, in that space, my lips are tingling in the cold air

TW: anxiety, animal death, emetophobia, (implied) violence, (implied) gore. last but not least: Furry Shit 

[  SPRING 2018, TUESDAY NIGHT, THE FOREST BEHIND GRANDMA’S HOUSE. ]

inho’s recent growth spurt hit him like a truck. 

while the extra height is worth celebrating, his arms and legs feel too long, making him even more awkward than he was before. he’s too clumsy now -- wider shoulders making him bump into his classmates in the hallway, bringing more attention to himself than he ever wanted. it was his grandma who pointed out the difference to him, complaining lightheartedly about how quickly he grew out of two shoe sizes.

the changes do bring him some relief; being mistaken for a high school freshman all the time is getting tiring. it’s about time he caught up with everyone -- most of his classmates have sharpened up, filled out, started growing facial hair, etc., so inho is grateful that he’s at least the same height as the other boys now. 

he’s not completely happy, though, in fact his clumsiness has made him very frustrated -- more so because of the contrast between how his teenage body feels compared to... this one. 

how cruel is it that he can only feel comfortable when stuck in the body of the thing he hates so much? how he feels the most himself when he’s not even Himself? 

this Big Ugly Grey Thing moves with more grace and purpose than inho ever could. this body is filled with a level of energy and awareness that the sleepy, lazy inho has never been able to achieve. it feels upsettingly, terrifyingly good to be like this, as much as he tries to forget that feeling for three weeks every month. 

as he makes his way over prickly shrubbery and stones, the Big Ugly Grey Feet don’t miss a single step. the water of the local creek glitters beside him, reflecting the cold light of the moon, but he doesn’t stop to admire it yet. he races up the path he’s familiar with until he finds the tree that marks his section of the forest and slows, sharp eyes taking in the area to make sure it hasn’t changed since he left it last month. 

his log is where he positioned it, covered in soft moss and laying on its side a few yards away from the creek. the cover he made using dead branches painstakingly layered over each other is also intact, blocking the little clearing from view on all sides except for the one facing the river.

and, most importantly, his books are still there. 

inho sighs with relief, in a puff of air that comes from his nostrils. he walks over to perch himself on the log in what must look like the most awkward seated position ever. 

it’s bare, dirty and ugly, but this has been his home away from home for so long now; it’s been especially comfortable since he managed to teach his Big Ugly Grey Fingers to turn pages without ripping them, and he learned that he can kind of read most of the words if he squints hard enough. these past few moons have been more peaceful than any of the other ones -- it’s much easier to convince himself to stay still if he can focus on someone else’s story, instead of wasting the whole night wandering around and being melancholy. 

getting brave about his improved dexterity, he’d also tried to bring his phone out with him last month. but it didn’t go as well - tapping in a password doesn’t work when your fingertips are claws and Siri does not parse weird wolfy noises. smashing his phone so easily was a nasty wake-up call, reminding him that no matter how much he tries to make things feel normal out here, they never will be. 

oh... did i finish this book already? 

he squints as he carefully reads the last paragraph of his novel. he recognizes the words on the last page of both of the other books, meaning that he’d read them all and then forgotten.he groans audibly, but immediately cuts himself off as the sound comes out too loud, too... scary. 

he’s always hated to re-read books, so he resigns to settle in for another night of Nothing. 

he supposes he can’t complain that much, because being bored and alone for 12+ hours is much better than any alternative. the pros of being in his own mind far outweigh the cons (even if his inner monologue tends to hurt him sometimes.) 

he gets up to wander after a little while, knowing that being under the moonlight is the best way to calm down his mind.

he walks up the side of the creek for a while. his usual daydreams start to take over as the moon slowly angles herself higher over his head, cool light washing him and almost soothing his nerves. 

there’s one daydream that he sees often. 

it changes from time to time, but the gist is the same: a too-perfect scenario in his head where his best friend is out here with him, where he’s not too afraid to tell her the truth, where she’s not too afraid of him, where he can finally show her this forest and everything he loves about it and share with her all that love he feels pouring down from the moon. where he doesn’t have to be alone out here and left with only his thoughts to keep him company. 

of course he knows it’ll never happen. his eunji is brave about many things, but inho is not -- at least once a week he finds himself in a thought loop where he’s just terrified of losing the only person other than grandma who makes him feel safe. 

as often as those pretty daydreams play out in his mind, the Bad thoughts paint pictures in his mind too, uninvited -- though none of them are things he’s ever seen in person, there are horrible visions. visions of eun looking at him in an expression of disgust -- a mirror of that of the teacher who once tried to get him taken away years ago. visions of her looking at him like he’s a stranger. visions of her looking at him with fear in her eyes. her running away from him. and even worse, her-- 

inho knows where the Ugly part of his brain tends to go next, and he knows he’ll end up spiraling if he lets himself go there. so he shuts it down quickly, stopping to vigorously shake his head as his stomach churns with nausea and a sour taste fills his mouth.

don’t think, don’t think about anything, he tells himself as he looks up. there’s nobody else out here to worry about. just me and the moon. yeah... 

he inhales deeply, and then breathes out slow, closing his eyes as his anxiety slowly starts to drain out of him, the energy from the moonlight filling the empty space left behind. like this, he starts to feel okay. to let himself feel okay.

but that doesn’t last very long.

he jolts as a familiar hunger rips through him, and he lowers his head again, a hand coming up to press down on his abdomen. it hits so suddenly that it’s alarming. mostly because inho knows exactly what it means. oh no no nonono.

he crouches in the bush, heart racing. he stares towards the sound of rustling with wide eyes, fearful, but not for himself.

hey - HEY, no! not this way!

he starts shaking the bush in front of him, stomping his feet, growling pathetically, doing everything he can to scare off the whatever-it-is, even as pain stabs his stomach when the earthy scent of an animal enters his nose without his permission. 

panic spikes in his chest as he watches as a little white bunny hop out into the open.

don’t, he thinks, taking an unsteady step back. don’t be stupid! there’s a monster here! go away!

inho is definitely making a racket now, but the bunny is too far away to hear it. it’s upwind and apparently incapable of smelling him, either, stopping to groom its fluffy fur in the moonlight. inho drags his claws down his face, groaning, pulling on tough skin as if he could just take it off.

after a moment of this, he gets an idea. in desperation, he tears a large green leaf from the branch in front of him and stuffs it in his mouth.

he chews aggressively. there. salad! this is fine. i won’t be so hungry now. yeah--

it only takes about five seconds for the Wolf to spit it all back out in a fit of dramatics, inho’s brain taken over with BLEGH VEGETABLES NO VEGETABLES EW EW EW on loop as he frantically scrapes the horrible taste off his tongue. 

when he looks up, he doesn’t see the bunny in that ray of moonlight anymore, and relief floods him as, just for a second, he thinks that it smartened up and ran away. he eases a little, shoulders sinking, until that scent hits him much stronger and every hair on his body stands up. 

it’s only a few yards away now. 

are you serious!? dumb stupid idiot bunny, just run away! please run away --

the anger and frustration he feels towards the little thing only serves to ramp up the other, more feral, feelings. chest heaving, he can feel his own mind slipping from him a little, as the one Big thought shoves itself to the front --  

HUNGRY.  

there’s enough of inho left in there to feel despair, though -- the voice in his head crying out not again not again in time with the loud thumping of his heart. his body tenses, and though he wants to run in the other direction more than anything, his eyes remain fixed on the rabbit, his feet rooted to the ground. 

this has happened too many times for inho to not know what happens next. 

i’m sorry... i’m sorry... you’re so cute... i’m sorry... 

the next thing he feels is the wind whipping past him as he jumps out of the bush.

[ WEDNESDAY, GRANDMA’S HOUSE. ]

“i’m sorry--” 

-- it’s that phrase that he says again and again into the toilet bowl the next day, shaking uncontrollably, hunched over like that until every trace of rabbit is out of his system. 

he’s inconsolable for the remainder of the weekend, sitting there in the bathroom alone except for when grandma sets down a cup of water or his wolfsbane flask on the sink next to him, or gently brushes fingers through his hair. he eventually takes a shower, then passes out and wakes up a day later in his own bed, slowly feeling himself again as he gets ready for grandma to drive him back to school the next day. he’s all smiles for grandma after, but his heart hurts.

i’m too tired, grandma, he wants to say, but he knows she’ll just get sad that she can’t fix it for him, so he stays quiet. 

[  FRIDAY, HIGH SCHOOL MESS HALL. ]

it’s usually only eunji who will notice when something’s off, as good as inho thinks he is at hiding it. but it’s a little more obvious this time, he guesses, as their whole lunch table stares at him pulling Green things out of his lunch bag for the first time since... ever.

“uh, inho? where’s your real lunch?” eun asks. 

“this is my real lunch,” inho replies, not looking at her. 

“oh...” he can feel her gaze, the attention making his own cheeks warm. “even that... is that just a leaf of lettuce...?”

inho meets her gaze now as he nods, breaks off a piece, and places it on his tongue. ugh. he chews for a painfully long moment, swallows, then gives a very forced smile. “oh, i forgot to tell you... i’m vegan now.” 

eun seems to choke a little on her food (a very delicious-looking piece of stir-fried duck that her mom no doubt prepared for her today... inho tries not to salivate.) 

she blinks several times. “that’s new,” she seems like she’s trying to be nice about it, but he can see the utter confusion on her face as she’s no doubt remembering that inho had five(5) hamburgers the last time they went out. 

“yes,” inho says, dumbly, unsure of what else to say.  this is so awkward... of course she knows this isn’t normal.

eun is looking down at her own lunch box, and inho can’t help but to follow her gaze to the duck. his stomach gurgles, but the feeling is nothing like the agony he feels during the full moon so he can handle it. and he will -- no matter what, he’s done with eating animals. he’s sick of how gross it feels. and if he gets used to vegetables, maybe he’ll be able to control himself when he’s out there next month. maybe one day he won’t have to crave bunnies or squirrels or deer or humans ever again. 

“okay, but can i ask why? do you... like vegetables now or something?” 

he doesn’t answer the second question, because his lie would be far too obvious. he takes another bite of his Nothing Sandwich, and eun waits while he chews. he answers after a moment with a shrug: “i think i just need a change.”

eun peers at him. “we’re about to graduate, and then start at college soon... those are big changes already, don’t you think?” 

he thinks about his reply for a second. "maybe i want to start at pocheon as a new man?” he keeps his tone light, but there’s a note of sadness there that he hopes she doesn’t notice. 

eun takes a sip of her drink and then speaks. “being vegan isn’t going to make you a different person, inho...” 

inho looks down at his gross, ugly, stupid rabbit food. “i know. i mean, i’ll change other stuff too.” he wants to, at least he thinks so. as much as he’s felt content having eunji as his Number One all these years, he knows he should start to branch out a little if he wants to actually experience all of the things that he hasn’t yet. things that he can’t experience with eun... 

“well, i support you of course, but...” 

there’s a pause, long enough for inho to glance back up at eun, who he catches looking at him with an unreadable expression on her face. she looks away quickly, and swallows. her voice comes out a little hushed, almost too quiet for him to hear. “i don’t think you need to change. you’re fine just like this.” though her face is turned away her expression makes it seem like she’s saying a little more than that. like it’s something closer to i don’t want you to.

inho blinks once, twice, and then his eyelashes flutter a little as he looks away, pretending to stare at something else to the side.  something stirs in his chest -- something weird and sad, but there’s something else too?

“um,” he stammers and rubs the back of his neck, scrambling to find words. “i-- i mean, we’ll still be best friends, no matter what. yeah?” eun still doesn’t look at him. “we’ll still go out to eat, i just  won’t be getting barbecue... unless they barbecue vegetables? that might taste good, actually,” (he does not believe that.) “-- and i can still eat fries too, i think. so it won’t be that different. and they make vegan ice cream now...”

his attempt to babble to her until she’s comforted seems to work somewhat, because she offers him a smile with her nod. 

gradually, they ease back into regular conversation about exams and girl groups and the usual things, as inho very obviously struggles to keep down the lunch he packed for himself. 

yeah, i'll change a little, he thinks, even as a piece of broccoli almost triggers his gag reflex. you’ll see, he affirms in his head, though he doesn’t know who he’s talking to.

#( * solo ) #╰ ♡ ✧ ˖ stealing the light as you pierce through the clouds ┊ ft. eun . #( can u see why he hates beastars DFJSDHDF. it triggered him TT #tw animal death #tw violence #tw emetophobia #tw anxiety

[barbecuedphoenix]

200 Followers: 11 Things About Me

So I was re-tagged a week ago by @eldarya-scenarios. (I had no idea I tagged you twice, dear. ^_^ Having two aliases is awfully sneaky.) 

If you’re a little curious on who your friendly fan blogger is behind the Leiftan icon and the barrage of text-winks, feel free to read on. Watch out though: it’s a long post like everything else I write... 

And if not, please continue to enjoy this blog’s smart-assery and the text-winks. ;)

1) Why did you name your blog the way you did? ...Because that’s the screen-name I use for my main Eldarya account. I’m not very creative with names. :( Not to mention that it’s probably very politically-incorrect to say ‘Barbecued Phoenix’ in the faery realm. Huang Hua would not be amused. And my blog is guaranteed to be politically-incorrect as far as folklore and faeries are concerned. ;) My screen-name is actually homage to a Neil Gaiman short-story called ‘Sunbird’, which is still one of my favorites from its double serving of dark humor and culinary catastrophes. And it sounds really funny when you say it out-loud (at least that’s my opinion).

2) What was your last meal? *checks bowl next to laptop* Eh… a fruit salad I scraped together from some Rainier cherries and leftover cantaloupe slices. It’s summer here, and I enjoy my fruits. :)

3) Jeans or skirts? …I must have at least nine different pairs of jeans in my closet, half of which I don’t even wear most days. And just one pencil skirt. Because at least once in my life, I’ll need to go to a court room. So there’s your answer. :)  

4) What’s your favourite letter of the alphabet? In the English alphabet, ‘L’ is my favorite. It just rollllls off the tongue so nicely. :) 

5) Favourite fandom/shipping? I’m a mercenary crack-ship writer. Anything goes so long as characters are in-character. ;) *cough* Truthfully, I haven’t shipped anything in a fandom since I was eleven or twelve, and that was waaaay back when the cartoon series Avatar the Last Airbender premiered. I think that experience has inoculated me to serious shipping. So now, while I enjoy seeing a well-developed, well-paced canon romance (because it means the creators have really thought the story through), it’s never a huge concern for me who’s paired up with whom. Romance isn’t actually the selling point for me for a lot of stories; it’s individual character development and plot direction that counts.   And anyway… fan shipping is really a fabrication. With a bit of imagination, effort, and tactical writing, functional relationships can be spun between anything and anyone, and unraveled in the same way. Even when keeping all parties in character. So why blow a gasket over shipping? To each their own dirty little fancies. ;)

As for my fandoms… they’re a patchwork quilt of games, books, movies, TV shows, anime from a lot of different sources, and it changes every year. For the sake of time, I’ll give a rundown of just the fantasy/supernatural genres I’ve been following for a while (translating some of the titles to English when possible):  

Games: the Dragon Age series, Folklore (also called FolksSoul), Uncharted, the Persona series 

Books: Discworld, His Dark Materials, the Dr. Siri Paiboun series, the Temeraire series, The Tiger’s Wife, Brisingamen, pretty much anything done by Neil Gaiman… the list goes on. With a few rare exceptions, I’ve shifted from being a high fantasy lover (those tropes get old after a while) to an acolyte of more low-key genres like magical-realism, fantasy-historical-fiction, and satirical-fantasy.  

TV Shows: Supernatural  

Anime & Cartoons: the Fate series (even though my fanfiction ends up making fun of it 95% of the time, it’s still a really intricate universe), the Avatar series  

Movies: Practically anything done by Studio Ghibli and Tomm Moore, ‘Coraline’, ‘Corpse Bride’, ‘Therapy for a Vampire’, ‘Let the Right One In’, ‘Groundhog Day’, the very first installation of ‘The Hobbit’   

6) What’s your favourite sport? (You don’t necessarily have to play it) Favorite sport I can’t do, but love to watch: Surfing. Forget berserk football matches; give me a crazy Australian riding a tunnel wave any day. :D  Favorite sport I can do: Bicycling. I’m no Tour de France candidate, but my bike regularly takes its share of unreasonable hills and descents in the city where I live. Personally, It’s a great way to get around. ^_^

7) What’s your idea of a perfect day? Getting everything on my list done with minimal coffee and hair-pulling.  -_- Sorry… I’m still listening to the robot half of my brain. Switching over.  Start the day by making a difference and sharing a good time with both the students I see where I work, and the odd friends and colleagues I do have. Attend a really good lecture. Then take a quiet bus ride to the beach or an aquarium, where I can watch all the wildlife shenanigans I want. Tourists included. Cook something awesome for lunch or dinner, and eat it to discover that it’s still more awesome. End the day with a good book, an avalanche of blankets, and a conveniently-rainy night. And maybe a quick Skype/phone call with my dad.  ;( Oh there I go, listening to the sappy half of my brain. Switching over.  

8) What animal do you hate with all your soul? The logical part of my brain tells me I have no cause to loathe any animal for existing. But the cave-woman part of my brain still gets creeped out by a few of them…. Geckos especially. Because the house where I grew up was infested with them (like a typical equatorial house, actually). The geckos could be found on absolutely any flat surface, even the underside of the table and on the ceiling, so we always had to check right before sitting down that something cold, bug-eyed, and squirmy wasn’t going to drop on us in the middle of dinner. And they also liked to appear in other surprising places: like in your shoes (as my father found out one day while rushing to work), inside drawers, inside trash cans, crushed between door hinges, trapped in the kitchen sink, and inside the refrigerator a couple of times (worst idea ever, for a lizard).      One of the best things that happened to me on moving to this corner of the United States: no geckos anywhere. I can clean my apartment with an easy heart. \o/    

9) Can you dance? Besides some lingering muscle memory from my early days doing classical ballet... no. :(  I’d really like to take up Spanish Flamenco though. Generally, I do better with choreographed dances rather than impromptu club-dancing. As all my friends have told me. I’ve given them so many priceless memories on the dance-floor… 

10) What’s the name and age of your favourite character? (OC or otherwise) I can’t decide on a ‘favorite’ character in media; there’s too many of them. So how about a favorite OC instead? ^_^   Right now among the Eldarya OC cast, my favorite would have to be Zephania ‘Zee’ Tantiango because she’s a magnet for trouble as a protagonist very dynamic heroine to work with. (She’s 23, in case you’re interested.) Zee is actually the latest incarnation of the ‘funny-but-unlucky action heroine’ archetype I’ve spent years working on, and I’m happy with how she’s turning out so far. On one hand, she’s the typical small-town heroine who’s sharp, plucky, energetic, and more than a little kooky herself; the story never stops moving once she starts improvising in a tight situation. :) But there’s a strong undercurrent of tragedy in the way she continues to isolate herself through her pride and her decisions, especially because she’s allergic to either admitting that she’s in real trouble, or cutting herself some slack for her mistakes. There’s a lot of sadness behind that finger-snap smile. I’m still debating on whether to give her a good ending, or a bitter one. :(  No, that was not a spoiler for the fan-fiction that’ll one day hit this blog.

11) What got you into your favourite activity?(i.e how did you start?) Favorite activity? Like… a hobby?  Well the longest-running hobby I’ve ever had is writing (no guesses there). And it was more-or-less self-taught. As a kid, nobody could take me anywhere without a book in my hand, or some other adventure happening inside my own head (which made it awfully inconvenient to get my attention in a mall… but hey, I never wandered off). And writing short stories was always the most entertaining school assignment for me.  But it wasn’t until I started home-schooling at thirteen that I found the time and need to write something for myself, putting to paper those increasingly-complex sagas and fan-fictions that lived in my head (because my short-term recall just couldn’t keep track of all the dialogue and plot twists anymore; I needed to start recording my stories to make sense of them.)   And I haven’t stopped since. :)

Uh-oh. Here come… my questions. For @mentacomchocolate, @areyntheheartseeker, and @the-irish-hoor​. 

Why did you name your blogs the way you did? ;)

What would your honest personal reaction be if you accidentally stepped into a fairy ring, landed in a strange place, and got threatened by a fox-lady wielding fireballs?  

What’s your dream job in this life?  

Is there anyone you have a crush on that you’re still really embarrassed to admit? Would you like to mention them anyway? ;)  

If there’s only one book genre you could spend the rest of your life reading, what will it be?  

What are the top 5 things you geek out over? (Today, at least. ;) )

If you’ve been given a 24-hour advance warning that the world is definitely going to end (i.e. via Death Star), what will you do?

And if you’ve been given an exclusive two-person escape pod during above scenario, what/who would you bring with you to escape the planet? Would you want to?

If your friends can agree on one thing about you, what would it be? Do you agree with them? 

What’s the most embarrassing thing that happened to you this past week?  

What do you remember as your most incredible feat of endurance to date? Physical, mental, and/or social?

*looks up* ...All right, those are some weird questions. I won’t blame you at all if you ignore them. 

#Q&A #tag post #blog milestone #200 followers #OC: Zephania

[dvtsr]

 // WHT IS A REFLECTION?

if(reading == reflection){

    please listen to (Han-Tyumi and The Murder of the Universe);              else (experience great boredom, following reflection is long winded);

}

THE POST-DIGITAL PROTOTYPE

With a project (//brief) this open it was hard to decide where to begin, the post digital was such a colossal topic it was easy to get lost in SPRINT tunnels where you would start fifty micro projects only to abandon them all and be left with nought.

Having grown up with my nose in a book, specifically Sci-Fi epic’s and dystopian thrillers, this studio option was an easy pick. When given the brief, rather than a solid idea I had a feeling I wanted to encapsulate. A pseudo Orwellian future in which we are monitored constantly, not menacingly but very blatantly. 14 year old me would have been disappointed by the mediocralypse we are living through. Instead of a cold judge Dredd / Robocop patrolling the streets it is Siri watching us, reminding us to take an umbrella less we catch a cold.

When I got my new iPhone [TM(TM) TM] I turned off all the regular ad/ tracking settings only to find within a few weeks that without me having ever set anything, it knew where work was, when I was working and when I was coming back home. This was on by default, hidden in settings be-riddled with sudden jargon. 

(the setting was frequent locations) INITIAL BRAINSTORMING:

With all the aforementioned in mind I chose to focus on “looking at screens works both ways.” For the first part of this task I initially wanted to create a book out of paper that would dissolve under certain conditions, or create a publication that reflected my sentiments that I would expand upon in this final segment. However as I continued my research on the “post digital,” I began to think about my own future as both a designer and individual. The design industry is simultaneously competitive and collaborative. I thought a lot about what kinds of clients I wanted to attract, sectors I wanted to work in and what set me apart as my own designer. There are enough/too many Frankie magazine designers already, regurgitating the same grid patterns and shallow works, printing the same idea month after month.  

This is A Magazine, Compendium #3 “Chaos Happens.”  Shown work by: Flutro-Creative Services Unit 

It was from here that I realised that I personally couldn’t make another perfect bound print publication as my own interests didn’t align with this. To expand my practice I decided I needed to buckle down and do something I had little experience in. This is how I landed on coding. Whilst a daunting task I really do believe to evolve and stay ahead of the AI-designer-DoomBots who will inevitably replace us, it’s imperative we learn thy enemy. To bring something other than roast, peas and mash to the dinner table. 

In the same way we swapped traditional waterfall methods in our ideation/prototyping phase I wanted to SPRINT my own portfolio and make use of the opportunity to work on a concept driven design as opposed to a finished work. Whilst AI can mimic human semantics and create pretty websites it is yet to learn to think of it’s OWN ideas and it is this that is perhaps our best asset as flesh and bone.  On the same tangent, I wanted to explore the popularity of computer companionship. With the Mac OSX Sierra update, ‘Siri’ also lives in your desktop. Amazon released ‘Alexa’ and Google retaliated with ‘Google Home.’ All bots designed to assist your livelihood by taking over rudimentary tasks such as adding items to cart, checking the weather or playing music. The real appeal in these bots is not their ability to tell you what time it is in Denmark but their capability for relatively smooth, realistic conversation. How is it in a world more connected than ever, we feel isolated enough to require a live at home robot companion?

Like a housewife from the 50′s, only Alexa can’t stick her head in the oven!

It was from here that I began looking into the feeling of loneliness in the post digital scape. Looking through my phone I found screenshots I had taken from a twitch stream of two google home bots set up such that they could converse with each other (side note: the rise of streaming culture/ Instagram live is an interesting foray into how we consume media and how rapidly it’s changing!! Saving it for another post!!) .

V: “what date” E: “the date you’re going to take me on.” V: “I don’t know we’ll have to see” Too real google, too real  :----(

“If you don’t want to talk about Harry Potter I’m leaving”

Which reminded me of my own experiences chatting with bots. Cleverbot was super popular while I was in primary school as were portable offline versions of this with devices like 20Q. Our romanticism of talking to an algorithm is evidently nothing new. As AI ultimately reflects our own speech, is wanting to imbue human qualities in a string of data the ultimate form of narcissism?  Or is it our collective cry for help, to save us from our own loneliness.  This theory culminated when I read through/devoured The Age of Earthquakes: A Guide to the Extreme Present by Shumon Basar and co. (thx for lettin’ me borrow it Andy).  

Growing up with video games it wasn’t until recently I’d noticed how isolated games that weren’t MMO or server based made me feel. Disconnected almost.  Even open world games like the Witcher never truly asked:

Thus they never responded to my most current emotional needs. It was from there that I decided I wanted to create my own solution to this. I started with idea of collecting meta-data to fill in variables in a block of text. After strenuous research I realised with the time available and my lack of prior experience the code required to string this together was far too complex. From there I dug into machine learning some more,  finally discovering Amazon Web Services (AWS). AWS is a corporate orientated tech service which provides servers and API’s to aid in a vast range of analytic type applications. It was pay-per-use however as I was not sending it 10,000 hits at once it was a couple of cents per request.  Unfortunately the AWS Rekognition software (which is infinitely cool, able to recognise objects, faces, expressions, age, gender and gestures with a certain amount of certainty) was region locked to North America and very buggy through my VPN :--(

I did get it to work a few times. Ultimately this was weeks of learning python and wrangling with Terminal down the drain. Deflated I wasted a few too many nights out/at bars trying not to think about my impending failure for this assignment. It was from there that I found Microsoft Azure, a similar service to AWS it provided the same recognition and the added promise of analysing “emotion.” Again I put in my credit card details only to find that the API was locked to North American servers and also too complex to incorporate for my own uses. In my growing list of abandoned ideas, I’d hoped to incorporate the raspberry pi into my project mostly because I really wanted to play with it. I loved the appeal of it’s blank canvas nature and the anarchy within creating your own systems as opposed to simply absorbing what is fed to you. At this point I’m losing a lot of sleep over /getting it done./ I’d watched hour upon hour of Java and then Python tutorial hoping to build this damn application. I then came upon openFrameworks (OF). Similar to Processing, OF is an arts-engineering toolkit, like well fertilised soil is to plants oF makes the coding process easier. However it is still just a nursing ground and to plant and grow your project you still need a firm grasp on the basics and semantics of C++.  It was at this point I discovered  http://www.facetracker.net, an Open CV2  library for ~ tracking dat face ~  Developed by Jason Saragih, it was wrapped for openFrameworks by Kyle McDonald. Most of the resources used in this project ended up being Frankenstein-ed together as I found most online tutorials were either lacking or 7 years old. Equipped with a source code I was still inept at writing a code to utilise this library. This project was like trying to solve a puzzle where all the pieces are made of bubbles and the instructions are in Russian. Luckily for me I love puzzles. I went on self loathing wiki-hole after wiki-hole trying to find help. I had all the parts I just didn’t know how to make them work together.  

* note time stamps * Luckily openFrameworks came with a small library of tutorials which sent me in a better direction. It was 4 am and I was getting delusional when I finally stumbled upon a template Dan Wilcox had developed around FaceTracker for students at Carnegie Mellon Universities School of Art Faculty ( In Pittsburgh USA). This became the skeleton which I broke and rebuilt and furthered to build my own monster. 

I changed the colours on my compiler (Xcode) so I felt more like hackerman B--) From there I did far more math than to my liking to integrate my facial structure into the algorithms:

If I had been more apt at coding I would have liked to have actual face recognition as opposed to tracking. Baby steps, perhaps for my next project. I started with the idea of the book changing large volumes  of text depending on expressions, however it was too difficult to maintain one expression for any extraneous period of time. Coming back to my initial research ( with content driven on current emotional needs) I decided to use poetry. For each relevant emotion I assigned a poem/snippet which I both cherish and relate to a feeling. 

The emotions and poems I ended up with are as follows: Happy: ->  smiling Yes Yes, Charles Bukowski Angry: -> brows furrowed and eyes squinted Snippet of The Divine Comedy - Inferno, Dante Alighieri  Shocked: -> mouth open Alone with Everybody, Charles Bukowski Tired: -> close to the screen Rhapsody on a Windy Night, TS Eliot

Confused: -> Far from screen Jabberwocky, CS Lewis

As emotions are never singular, neither are the outputs. If you show signs of multiple emotions they will clash and play at the same time. The fluidity of the text on screen mirrors the unanchored nature of thoughts and feelings.  I also initially did not have the little face on screen, however found it more charming/uncomfortable to see a visual reminder of your constant surveillance.  Whilst un-menacing it is slightly disgruntling to know you are being watched. Some test screens (as in the opening GIF):

 Now armed with a deliverable software, my next hurdle was submission. I wanted to incorporate a physical art element that grounds the project as something tangible whilst maintaining the romanticism in the playful app, i.e I didn’t want to have it simply downloaded from a boring dropbox or CD as the prototype relies on “ inspiring a hope for a future outcome. ”  To physical represent both my Frankenstein-ed code (which has been passed down forward and tweaked by four generations of people to get to this!! In the spirit of open source I will also upload my version to GitHub) I deconstructed an old hard drive and replaced its casing with old mobile phones. Another technology rapidly evolving and leaving behind carcasses. Building new through old, forging future with the bones of the past. It also includes a charger noose to remind viewers of the potential perils of living entirely online. This is countered by cute stickers and a smiley face to also remind viewers that things moving forwards doesn’t have to be scary.

In conclusion this Studio was like an incredible buffet in which I took way too much food but enjoyed all of it none the less. The book club meetings were incredibly rewarding and a pleasant change of pace from other classes. I’ve learnt so so much from class discussions and just being surrounded by super super suppppperrrr work. These are all concepts/skills/thought processes I’ll carry forward into future works both in academia and beyond. Honestly though my favourite part has just been absorbing other peoples works. Through and through my favourite class ( and the only class I’d come to uni at 9 am for.) 💖🌸💕💗 Thank u everybody for an incredible semester!  

#i guess this is a book #the end #they all lived happily ever after #sorry its so long oops