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#so devoted to someone who manages to both take that devotion for granted AND never see how deep it goes
theimprobable1 · 7 months
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Does anyone else think about Benjamin Ferel and get an overwhelming urge to go jump off the Arc de Triomphe or is that just me
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I Wish I Had That
Characters: Steven Grant x reader. Marc Spector x reader
Summary: Marc has found himself a girlfriend, and Steven is happy for him, he really is. Problem is, Steven wishes he’d met her first.
Word Count: 1083 words
Prompt: Jessie’s Girl – Rick Springfield
A/N: This is my last one for the amazingly wonderful @caplanbuckybarnes and the fabulous #cappys decades challenge. I’ve had so much fun writing these and I hope you’ve enjoyed them just as much.
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Life is rarely simple or easy. This is especially true when there’s three of you sharing one body, but it seemed to be working. There were the occasional hiccups, but generally, the three of them were now in a routine and it worked for them. That was right up to the point where it didn’t.
Steven felt positively awful. He and Marc were close, like brothers, they had gone through so much together and although there were times he wished he was brave like Marc, or strong like him, he had never felt jealous. Now that was all he felt, and it was eating him up. Lately, something had changed between them, and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what it was. Marc had met you, wonderful, stunning, brilliant you, and Steven wished he’d met you first.
He tried his best to hold back these feelings, the jealousy, the anger, the frustration, and for the most part he managed just fine. Steven was happy for Marc. Yeah, he really was. Marc deserved to be loved, to have someone in his life who understood him and helped push back all the darkness. So, Steven played along with the charade, lurking in the background whenever the two of you were together. At first he claimed it was to make sure you were suitable for Marc, that you weren’t going to hurt him. It certainly wasn’t because he wanted to see you, to imagine you laughing at his jokes rather than Marc’s.
The sparkle in your eyes when you looked up at Marc, the softness in your smile, the way the two of you found pet names for each other, all sent Steven into a tailspin. You were so adorably cute together and Steven felt a little grubby listening in. Even more so when your relationship progressed and the sweet nothings now included incredibly graphic descriptions of what you wanted to do to each other. Those moments, when you whispered into Marc’s ear, sent a shiver of desire through Steven, and it took everything he had not to push himself to front and confess his undying love and devotion to you. That was something he could never do. Suddenly appearing like that would definitely scare you off, and then he would never see you again. No, it was best to love you from this distance than lose you forever.  
Steven stared at Marc from the bathroom mirror, his heart was pounding, and he felt exposed in some way. “Wh- what do you mean, mate?” He asked, hoping he sounded nonchalant and not terrified.
“I mean, I’ve told her about you both, and she wants to meet you. Look, I get it if you don’t want to do this, but, I really like her. I’ve not felt like this in a long time and-“
“We will do this for you.” Jake huffed, not wanting to listen to all the smushy feelings.
“Steven?”
“Yeah. Yeah, course.” He nodded, giving Marc a tight smile.
“Great. Okay, so she’s coming over and I thought it might be best if she hung out with Steven first. No offence Jake, but you can be a little intense.”
So, it was decided. Steven was going to spend the evening with you. Oh god, he was going to spend the evening with you! Panic washed over him and if he had been in charge of the body he’d have been in the throes of a panic attack. How the hell was he going to be that close to you, be able to touch you, and not give in to his feelings? He had to hold it together, for all their sakes. This was his chance to impress you, his one and only shot.
Things got off to a rocky start. Marc had failed to tell you that Steven would be the one greeting you, and so when he opened the door, you had kissed him. Your lips were warm and soft against his, and Steven’s heart began to race. His eyes fluttered closed, and his hands had come to rest on your hips, itching to pull you closer, to drag you into the apartment and push you up against the door and… You pulled back from him, one eyebrow raised and a confused look on your face. You had been able to tell something was different, you had known he wasn’t Marc, and he gave you a sheepish smile.
“Hi, love. Guess you weren’t expectin’ me. I’m Steven. Steven with a v. Pleasure to finally meet you.”
“Fuck. Shit. Sorry. Damn it. I am so sorry, Steven.” You held your hands up as you stepped back from him, worried that you’d offended him when nothing could have been further from the truth.
“’s ok. Quite a nice way to say hello. Can see why Marc likes it.” You had chuckled at that and a sense of pride bloomed in his chest. He had been responsible for your smile, not Marc, that one was for him. 
The rest of the evening went well. The two of you had eaten and watched a documentary on Ancient Egypt. Steven had only corrected the details a handful of times, and every time he did, you had turned to look at him, giving him your full attention. Each time you did that it caused a heat to rise up the back of his neck and over his face.
There was a nervous energy between the two of you, but Steven found spending time in your company so easy and familiar. That was possibly because he’d spied on so many moments between you and Marc, but he wanted to believe that it was because you liked him. If he had met you first then it would be him that you loved, not Marc. It would have been Marc sitting here wishing he could make a move and Steven knowing he was the one taking you to bed that evening. But you’d met Marc first and there was no changing that, no matter how much Steven wanted you.
In the early hours of the morning as you lay asleep next to Marc, Steven slipped in, fronting for a few minutes to just admire you. Brushing his fingertips lightly over your cheek, he leaned down and ghosted his lips over yours, remembering the mistaken kiss earlier. Maybe Marc would be willing to share you. Maybe you would be willing to be shared. Right now though, you were Marc’s girl and Steven could only wish he had something like that.
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eldritch-spouse · 1 year
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Okayokayokayokay one niche kink I never really get into because if it were real it would be gore and I dislike seeing it in art because it’s anatomically sanitised (if that makes sense) is “all the way through”. But since you’ll def write gore I HAVE to ask
Would any of your OCs fuck somebody to death this way? Like I know many wouldn’t have the body type to actually manage this, but those who do.
(And on the other side, who would like to be fucked like this? Aside from Patches the Whore)
[I think you're talking about the types of goofy porn where someone gets fucked through but it's just the head popping out the mouth, that's funny as shit.]
TW: Absolutely nasty levels of gore.
It's not really that surprising who'd go for this.
Kalymir is a big fan of impalement. And he doesn't always get to do it, so he cherishes the times he does. He remembers the old days, where a couple of humans would be stupid enough to summon him, but they never provided big enough sacrifices of flesh, so he'd take matters into his own hands and snatch the nearest cock-sock available. Mouth? Ass? Who cares, it's going in one hole and out the other! He finds it funny really, seeing the guts get squeezed out of his fucktoy with only a couple of thrusts. Kalymir makes sure the other ones are watching when he lets the broken pile of a former person drop to the ground before he picks a new, tighter little fuckpocket. If you're sick enough for it, you could suck the tip of his cock after he skewers someone on it. He'll really lose it.
Vesper isn't often that violent, you know this, but foul moods are still foul moods- And maybe you have to fuck them away. Sometimes he's cruel enough to shove both massive cocks into someone's poor hole, but they usually tear in two before he can reach the mouth, which is a shame, it tends to happen no matter how hard Vesper tries to hold the fucktoy together. Other days he'll only use the tendril between his cocks, jerking off to the sight, extending some magic to make sure his little meal keeps squirming long after they're supposed to. It's more practical to just impale two at once, flex his dicks and watch them hover like depraved little cock rings. Hah.
Krulu has had many opportunities to treat humanity like the garbage it is. And you, his sweet chosen, are often the one who goes hunting for his next warm toy. They usually start dying from exposure to him before he's even properly started, so the sensation of being impaled is probably only a tad more aggravating. Nevertheless, Krulu fucks them open hard and fast, which means he burns through fuckmeat pretty fast. But it's worth it, right? All that work is worth it because you can see his face twist in mad pleasure, his id fully satisfied in these moments as he gets to deform and disrespect the creations of his brethren, cum-soaked guts splattering on the altar.
Miara hasn't done this in ages. But it can and will happen when she wants to deal with wastes of breath on her own. It's not exactly hot for her, so much so as it's done out of pure malice. However, taking a sharp turn, if you were to present yourself to her and plead to die impaled on her cock (an honor), she would happily grant that end to you, affording you time to schedule it and making sure all of your last moments will be spent in pure ecstasy, even as your poor body tears at the seams to welcome her girth. People will remember you fondly, as someone whose devotion was unmatched. Miara will miss you.
Zizz doesn't really do it on purpose. He's just... A big boy. And sometimes he forgets to lend magic to his casual bed partners, especially when he's sleepy. And it's hard to notice when he's going too far when he's basically half-conscious, they don't get to scream for long anyway before he breaks the parts that let them do that. Yeah sure, it's weird how wet it's getting and there's an odd smell in the room, but it feels nice. Really nice. So nice. He doesn't want to stop it, even if it's evident something's gone wrong by that point. Then Zizz cums and promptly realizes he's holding onto a disemboweled sack of a person.
Gallon has done this. Very rarely, but he did. Slimes in general can be horrifying killers. The most skilled of them easily climb into your insides via a big-enough orifice and can effectively expand inside your organism until you hemorrhage internally and tear apart. He's more fond of just using his tendrils to suspend someone and carelessly push through every section of their insides. It seems to amuse his clientele too.
Vinnel would do it the exact same way if he didn't fear dying with enough mass outside of his own suit. Cured Vinnel definitely does this regularly, with several tendrils at once, taking a wild sexual thrill from it.
Sever has never impaled someone, but he might if angered enough. It's more of a domination thing than a kink for him.
Magus has no real desire to sexually skewer someone on his cock, but it has happened on a handful of occasions. Mostly when some unlucky small mer stumbled upon the bigfin squid mermonster while he was in heat. He didn't even think, just senselessly bred them to death, their bleeding body glowing a faint bluish hue from top to bottom. He doesn't feel particularly bad about it, as anyone with two brain cells can scent the male in rut, so only a fool would swim to their certain death.
I can't really think of anyone who would enjoy getting fucked this way apart from Patches, to be honest. Maybe Shags. He does love his erotic self-harm, and shrooms live through very grievous wounds, so it's likely he'd take enjoyment from feeling his insides get a little ruined. Not enough to die.
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noxxha · 1 year
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Uchiha Madara - A man defined by love, hope and despair
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I am all for devoted siblings that love one another - that would go through metaphorical and a literal hell for one another - but that selfsame devotion - when twisted to its opposite, is just as compelling to explore and untangle so that you can watch a unhealthy dynamic/toxic (how I loathe that word) turn healthy.
Do not misunderstand, I headcanon that Madara and Izuna had a mutual respect for one another, that they cared and adored one another with an intensity only few relationships manage. They loved one another so deeply that no one could measure it. Their relationship was one of give and take in equal measure.
But it got me thinking about the possibility of a darker tone to this very dynamic (even if just in a few instances and not their entire relationship being unhealthy).
Hashirama mentions that Madara is “indecisive”. While it is used more as a form humour, Madara’s “push and pull” dynamic is a dance that can go on for a long time should both parties participate in that dynamic. He showcases the most fundamental of desires in humans at that point, though; connection. But, as most who have been hurt one way or another, he cannot handle it at the same time and it makes him conflicted.
That indecisiveness is probably not without merit (if it’s not rooted in projection of Hashirama’s issues onto Madara, that is).
Madara most likely considered every possible angle, and how best to minimize the chances of his last brother perishing - to the detriment of the clan. Izuna had to constantly reassure his brother that he would survive and keep on watching over him - have his back as they say, quite literally. They would remain together, as they always had.
Despite seeing Izuna as someone overflowing with talent - and as his equal on the battlefield in many aspects - it would not surprise me if a part - tiny as it is - of Madara would prefer to keep Izuna away from the battlefield altogether - to Izuna’s obvious disagreement. Many a argument had probably been heard when both brothers lashed out at one another from emotions boiling over.
The constant war and bloodshed probably taught Madara early the importance (and the impossibility) of control. He, most likely, turned to his siblings to find reassurance in this world that was so unpredictable, and cruel, in that any of his siblings could perish at any moment. And perish they did. Only Izuna reached adulthood, and he died terribly young even then, aged merely 24.
The tragedy of Madara - what broke him so completely and changed him into someone no one, not even Hashirama, could recognize - was the death of his beloved brother. The remaining member of his family that once was a family of seven.
Being born with many siblings was the norm during the Warring States Era. Becoming attached and fond of these very siblings was probably - whether it was said or implied in any which way - frowned upon (due to the unpredictable lives they lived as shinobi).
Or, as in the case of the Uchiha clan; their greatest strength was also their greatest weakness (literally).
As much as bonds have the ability to shape us into the best version of ourselves, they also have the capability to cause terrible distress and suffering, and Madara is one - of many - examples of having loved and lost.
If we go deeper and see beyond the love and adoration an older brother held for his younger one, what do we find?
A man becoming unhinged.
But why?
Because he lost the one thing/person he was living for.
A bold claim to make, no? But realistically Madara was an unhinged, unstable person - due to his personality and his environment shaping him as such. He was undeniably kind and compassionate as well - but in the end those very traits would end up destroying his already fragile and declining mental health.
Izuna represented more to Madara than merely family; he was everything to him. Everything began and ended with Izuna.
Granted, Hashirama never knew Itachi and his…’heroic deed(s)’ in Konoha’s name, but he did mention that Madara’s love (perhaps/probably) overshadowed the love (and that label is up for debate in all honesty) Itachi held for Sasuke.
There is even a lore reason that points to the fact just how deep Madara’s capacity for love was - for the pain and the darkness to claim him so completely; the Sharingan and, more importantly, the (Eternal) Mangekyō Sharingan.
Madara’s dream of a peaceful world had everything to do with Izuna. That is adorable, it is beautiful, but it is also a receipt for disaster - and we are, indeed, shown the consequences of the loss of a brother held so dear (albeit indirectly because we got everything told through Hashirama’s perspective).
Madara pinned his entire existence, his reason for fighting and perpetuating this endless cycle of violence - in the hope to create peace - onto one single thing. Even worse, that thing was a human he adored and loved more than his own life.
Humans are fickle. Our loved ones are loved as much as they are resented at times. Realistically Madara and Izuna would not be an exception to that ambivalence - no matter how close their bond. Paradoxically enough that closeness would probably have caused terrible, terrible friction from time to time. From control issues, feeling smothered and not appreciated, to resentment and anger.
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The look of a man about to lose everything
Madara had dreams, powerful ones at that, but they hinged on the condition that Izuna was there to experience them with him - together.
“If it’s you I can go in peace…”
“I have not a single brother left. I have nothing to protect”
“You took even my last brother from me…”
If that is not someone being heartbroken and suicidal I don’t know what is…
And what happens once he loses his beloved brother?
Has to watch him become another sacrifice like their other three siblings, like their family and friends?
His entire world crumbles.
Literally.
One can nearly say with certainty that Izuna held the clan together - held Madara together - as without their second-in-command, Uchiha defected to the Senju due to their lack of trust in Madara to protect them. While not the sole reason, it does say a lot if the power balance shifts in the favour of the Senju.
That is not to say that Madara is an incompetent leader; he just had his priorities backwards (in the eyes of everyone else, those who could not understand).
Izuna probably chided Madara - if with a tenderness not really befitting the situation, to easier reach the brother of his who was prone to defensiveness even with him - for his protectiveness. But as I mentioned before that tenderness, to slight exasperation, had to be a terrifying sight the moment it came from a place of genuine frustration and wrath.
With Izuna gone Madara was adrift in more ways than one. What had shaped his entire existence was the war and bloodshed, as well as his love for his family - and now he was alone in an unfamiliar territory, with a different political climate to adjust to and navigate.
However, Konoha was not Madara’s dream per se - it was Hashirama’s. The condition, to which he initially agreed to it, had been taken from him. While it was a beautiful sight to witness peace take form, it must have felt - if not entirely meaningless - hollow.
Out of desperation - to find a sense of comfort - he tried to repair his bond with Hashirama. But they were too different in their values at that point and it was a friendship that was one-sided. But it was the last hope Madara had.
While not entirely swallowed by despair just yet, resentment must have been festering in his heart. Nothing was turning out the way he had hoped. His clan was once and for all turning their back on him and spat so onto the sacrifices that were made for them.
The negotiations (if as such it can be called) between Iwagakure and Konoha (with Madara sent as the latter’s representative) shattered Madara’s last shred of hope in Hashirama and revealed the way Hashirama perceived ‘peace’.
Hashirama was not ushering them into an era of peace as they longed for in their boyhood. He was perpetrating their existing cycle of violence on a smaller, more calculated scale. Attempting to unite all villages under one name (Konoha), while disregarding that not all see their peace as the only path to peace, nor do all want to join their cause.
Disillusioned, Madara’s choice is clear and absolute. Izuna’s warning has come to pass.
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As a witness to Tobirama’s rhetoric and beliefs (perhaps not just yet as extreme as they would become), Madara can only come to the conclusion that, the moment Tobirama takes over Hashirama’s heritage, his clan - the clan for which Izuna gave Madara his eyes, the clan he fought to keep safe through both a promise and as their leader - is doomed.
They resent each other; that is an undeniable fact. Tobirama is the reason Madara lost what was most dear to him, denting his fragile psyche and strengthening his distrust in this village where they - Uchiha and Senju - cannot coexist. Madara, however, backed himself into a corner the moment he gave his former friend the alternative to understand him and his pain, yet his heart - kind since a mere child - could not follow through with such cruelty.
With Hashirama sprouting lofty words and empty promises, Madara turns his back onto their dream once and for all.
In canon it is the deciphering of the modified - by black Zetsu - stone tablet that sends Madara’s psyche down the deep end once and for all. But, in all honesty, it had been enough if Madara lost Izuna, and his faith in a dream, that - in the end - was not even his.
A purely psychological angle (as in, no blob of darkness there to pull the strings) would have been more than enough for Madara to conclude that an extreme path to peace (and whether it is peace, or not, is another debate) was the only way to achieve lasting peace for humankind.
He saw, after all, with his own eyes that humanity was unable/unwilling to change its ways; whether in the era he grew up in, or after Konoha was built - conflicts remained. War still broke out in the form of the First Ninja War, then the Second Great Ninja War, then a third one even.
Nothing had changed.
Everyone had sacrificed themselves for naught. Konoha was built on the corpses of their kinsmen, and everyone pays for their safety in blood still.
If going by canon, it is - indeed - the modified stone tablet that does Madara’s psyche in and that is when despair swallows him whole.
If Konoha was Hashirama’s life’s work, so would Madara’s Eye of The Moon plan end up being his (quite literally even). The Eye of the Moon Plan was born from his despair at having lived a life where he had to lose love and hope.
He went above and beyond for the chess pieces to align.
And yet, despite going so far as he did for his plan, it was terribly…fortuitous in the end. Neither Nagato nor Obito held themselves to the script, and neither would have brought Madara back to life in the end.
But all that would not have mattered to Madara, as the moment he died, Izuna was there to finally welcome him home.
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falloftheusurperau · 5 months
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Arc 1: Escape From Fleecy Fields
Chapter 1: The Wedding
CWs: nonconsensual body modification. The lamb uses their godly powers to do Stuff to Narinder
Getting fitted for the wedding is almost as bad as the ceremony itself. Merga has him up on her stupid wooden pedestal thing, stooped over and fussing with the embroidered beading. She’s humming as she works, eyes narrowed in concentration and old, shaky hands somehow the picture of precision. Her assistant is considerably less sure of himself, eyes constantly flitting up to him with ears pinned low. Narinder’s been growling in the back of his throat the entire time, unable to stop it. He hates this. Hates them. The wedding gown–and it is a gown, unfortunately, with a long train and long sleeves and a high, modest neckline–fits him to a t. It’s snug against his fur and shifting the wrong way is incredibly irritating. Not even to mention the jewelry. The lamb must have been collecting gems from Anchordeep’s depths for awhile, because each one was the same red hue, quite a rarity if memory served him.
He refused point blank to let them pierce his ears, but his partner had foreseen such a thing and instead made the decor clip-on. Who had forged such delicate, tiny hinges? He was going to kick them off the nearest cliff. There were bangles and necklaces and even a gold circlet that was attached to the veil, encrusted with rubies. The dress itself was spun of fine silk. Had the circumstances been different, such fineries would have been rather pleasing.
“You look lovely, dearie,” Merga said as if that was any comfort. “They’re a lucky lamb, they are.”
He rolls his eyes and turns his face away. She chuckles softly, shaking her head fondly. Silly child, he can almost hear her thinking. He hopes she drops dead.
A sharp prick of pain makes him yowl and leap back from both of them: Luke looks like he’s just been struck by lightning, frozen in his tracks and eyes wider than should be possible, still holding the offending pin out in one hand. The scent of blood is too faint for either of them but Narinder knows there’s a thin coating on the little metal stick.
“Sorry, I- I’m so sorry-” tears bead along his bottom lids and Narinder hisses at him. “I didn’t mean to-”
“GET OUT!” he finally snaps, throwing one arm toward the door. “Out, out, OUT! If you can’t do your job right then GET OUT!”
He scrambles away like a scolded kit, managing to knock over a carved wooden box full of buttons on the way.
“Honey…” Merga gives him a gentle, stern look. “I know it’s important to you that your big day be perfect, but you really shouldn’t snap at people like that. He’s still learning, you know, and nobody’s perfect.”
Oh yeah. Narinder really hopes she drops dead.
The wedding takes place before even the daily sermon–and in fact, replaces the sermon. The temple has been decorated, wall sconces burning with cheerful flames and bouquets of fine roses tied with ribbons everywhere he looks. The pews have special tapestries draped upon the backs, embroidered with the mark of their cult and scriptures about everlasting love and devotion. He’d seen weddings before but never like this. Everyone is in attendance, and he notices his siblings all crammed in shoulder-to-shoulder at the very front. Kallamar looks like he’s about to faint, and Leshy looks like he’s having a hard time sitting still. He’s grateful for their amnesia, honestly. He couldn’t bear it if they bore witness to this humiliation as well. 
Mortals have a tradition of the to-be-wed being escorted down the aisle. Apparently someone must ‘give them away’. What blasphemy. Their lives belonged to their god, who else could possibly grant their spouse the right to their hand? A parent? A sibling? Utter nonsense.
There’s no one to walk him down the aisle. The lamb had offered, of course, citing their high priest could do it, but Narinder had shook them off. Saying this was his choice, and he would give himself away, thank you very much. The lamb had giggled at that and kissed his cheek, saying, “Of course you will, Nari.”
They enter first, as is tradition. Everyone rises for them, sits, then rises again when he comes in. There’s someone off to the side playing a violin, and though the music is well produced it just makes the whole procession worse. He doesn’t so much as flinch under the weight of all their stares, and doesn’t deign to look at any of them; he keeps his eyes straight ahead, directly on the podium. Flower petals delicately crunch beneath his bare feet, and it reminds him achingly of times long past.
The high priestess is officiating the ceremony. A descendent of the very first convert from several centuries ago, someone who had lived and breathed faith in the lamb since the day of her birth. The devotion is palpable; her eyes twinkle with joy and pride a being able to be of service for such a monumental occasion.
Ugh.
It all passes by in a miserable slog. The speech is word-for-word from the holy books of his own followings millenia ago, and after it is spoken the lamb speaks their vows first. It’s long winded and sappy, going on about how, “I truly believe that fate brought me to you, Narinder. When I died that day, so many years ago, and I met you for the first time, that was fate. That was my destiny. You are my destiny. And I want to chase this destiny with you, forever: I want to forever remain by your side, I want to build a life with you, and I promise you now that I’ll work hard every day to make it so. I promise to always love you, and respect you. I promise to give you my best, to always be here to support you, and I promise, more than anything, that I’ll make you happy.”
They’re perfectly nice vows. Clearly well rehearsed. Everyone is ‘awww’ing in the audience.
They squeeze his hands to let him know they’re done, and then it’s his turn.
He’d already prepared for this, months in advance. It was an exceptionally important moment, after all. He swears the same to them, that though their coming together definitely wasn’t in his original plans, he’s come to accept it. Appreciate it. Love it. In the end, he’s happy that things worked out the way they did: he’d never known love as a god, not this, and to trade his seat of power for a fulfilling connection that went straight to the soul was a worthy sacrifice, in his opinion.
His eyes are wet by the end, and his fiancé mirrors it. Fiancé for only a few more moments.
The priestess asks them to solidify their vows with the standard, “I do”’s, and then she closes her book with a bright, beaming smile. “Then it’s my pleasure to officially announce you to everyone gathered here as lawfully wedded partners! You may kiss the-”
The lamb jumps at him, throwing their arms around his neck and kissing him before she can even finish her sentence. The chapel erupts in cheering and clapping and screaming, rice and flower petals being thrown into the air as bells start ringing and everyone starts parroting congratulations. Narinder kisses them back, arms going to their waist to pull them of the ground and spin them in circles like this is the happiest day of his life. The lamb declares the rest of the day holy, and the reception ball is already waiting for them. There’s a grand feast waiting for them, and a fabulous cake with 4 tiers and a tiny carved replica of the two of them on top. There’s music, and dancing, and the party lasts until after the sun sets. Given that it’s summer, it’s rather late before they finally get home.
Moving into the lamb’s house is… interesting. It’s small. Homey. Modest. Humble. Hardly a palace befitting the god they fancied themselves to be. But the bed is big enough for two, and Narinder doesn’t have anything but a few pairs of spare clothes to add, so it’s not like they’re hurting for space.
He collapses onto the mattress with a put-out sigh: his feet ache and his face hurts from pretending to smile.
“That… was… exhausting,” the lamb flops onto the bed beside him, turning onto their side to slide one arm over his waist. They give him a lovesick smile, eyes at their halfway point, and presses their nose into his neck before their lips make contact. “Gods, I love you.”
Narinder grins and turns onto his side so they’re face to face. Leans forward to kiss them, gently, and they taste like the sweet berry wine the whole cult had been indulging in. “I love you, too.”
The lamb lights up, the way they always do when he says those words, and snuggles closer to squeeze him tight for a moment. “In that case,” they wave one hand and the candles all go out in an instant, leaving them with only the lantern light shining in from the outside. It’s incredibly shadowy, and Narinder is glad for his ability to see in the dark. One of the lamb’s legs snakes between his, one foot gently gliding up his shin and hands going to his back, starting to undo the careful lacing of his corset. “Shall we?”
Despite his best efforts, his heart rate spikes.
The consummation.
He knew this was coming of course, but… he thought he was ready for it.
“I-” he stops himself from pulling away. Oh gods. He’s going to have to do this. There’s no way around it. “I- y- yes. Of course.”
Thankfully, his tone is breathless. The lamb’s nimble hands make short work of his wedding garb, removing his jewelry and clothing and shedding their own robes as well. They remove their crown as well and he so badly wants to lunge for it, but he knows they’re closer. And in this form, they’re faster than him. He can’t do anything. He’s stuck.
The lamb is a romantic old sap at heart, and their gentle hands reflect that. They lay him bare in their bed, straddling his lithe form, holding his hands in their own.
“Narinder,” they whisper to him in the dark. “I’m going to give you the most wonderful gift I can, alright?”
…what?
“I’ve been practicing. Experimenting,” what does that mean?! How had they managed to keep not only the ceremony but some kind of devious wedding night consummation experiments from him?! “And… you know how I asked you, once, if you’d ever want to have a family?”
Oh. No.
“...yes?” he squirms minutely. “Why?”
Their eyes glow red in response, godly energy crackling over their shoulders and pooling into their hands, surging into his body at their command. It’s familiar, at first, but it swiftly turns hot, pooling in his belly and he yelps in surprise.
“It’ll only hurt for a second,” they promise, leaning down to kiss his forehead. “I swear, just a second.”
“Wh-” his voice catches as the heat continues to build, and begins to poke at him. It gathers in his core like a mace, a heavy, spiked ball of lead beginning to expand in his abdomen. Pain hits him all at once like he’s been stabbed–and he knows what being stabbed feels like, thanks to his sister–but from several directions. He screams, suddenly, starting to thrash beneath them, trying to kick them off. It’s stabbing him in his sides, his belly, between his legs, everywhere. He can feel his organs shifting, resetting, can feel his skin splitting and bones shuffling as his internals decay and grow anew. “What are you doing to me?!”
His voice comes out strangled and panicked and the lamb is infuriatingly calm, shushing him like a small child and telling him not to resist. “Just relax, shhh, you’ll feel better if you do. I’ve got you, Nari. You trust me, right?”
Something wet trickles onto the sheets beneath them and he smells blood. He tries in vain to shove them off, to roll out from under them, but their strength as a god isn’t something he can match. He’s left there to just mewl and cry in misery as his body rewrites itself via their will.
His chest is still heaving and everything is throbbing in agony when they finally spread his thighs and nod.
“Perfect!”
“Wh- What-”
“I told you,” one of their hands slips between his thighs and he jumps. Their fingers are tracing a shape that definitely wasn’t there before, and he sits up just enough to look down. “The best gift I can give you. We’re going to have a family, Nari.”
...
And there we go! As always, thank you to anyone who read this, and uh, give us your thoughts please! We'd love to hear what you think :)
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sideblogformindtrash · 8 months
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cw: dubcon, pet whump, substance abuse, ableism, classism, sexual conversation and flirting
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He walked a lot looking for that prostitute last night, and it took its toll the next morning. 
He can feel the awful ache on his hips and knees before he even opens his eyes, worse than the headache he got from crying. 
But he also has the pet in his arms, and it gives him a wonderful smile, always so grateful for the small gentleness he gets. It seems over the moon today, having been rescued, bathed and allowed to sleep cuddling with its master on the bed. 
Farlan smiles back, pets the white hair. Sometimes he regrets allowing himself to care about the pet as it only made things worse for him. Other times, seeing that devoted smile, he thinks it was worth it.
“M-m-mmor…mor…”
“Morning pet” He sits up and looks around the room wondering where he left the damn thing “Get me my cane, please”
The pet nods and rushes out of bed, walking oddly and with shaky legs. Maybe he needs the help more than Farlan does today.
Still, with some struggle it manages to complete its task.
“Good. Back to bed now” He grants him that small mercy “I’ll bring us breakfast”
The pet nods, grateful that he wasn’t ordered to go back in the middle of those people. 
Farlan groans as he gets up, a sharp pain setting through his hips, but that was the harder part, as he makes his way to the wardrobe and as he struggles to get dressed he almost considers abandoning his plan and just calling room service.
But no, he wants to see if the whore is still down there and how well it survived. He doubts anyone respected any of his limits, or cared that he was drugged out of his mind. 
Not that it was his problem… after all the whore had betrayed him for a little extra money. But he felt a little responsible being the one who brought him into this wolf den. 
“T-t-t-t….-t-thank….” pet stutters, wrapped in blankets like a little nest. 
Farlan lifts his hand and it silences and tenses up. Then he sighs - he shouldn’t do that anymore. Their therapist had said the… incident rendered him partially mute, and stopping him from his attempts would make the condition worse. Even if Farlan didn’t often want to hear what a pet had to say… he wanted to fix that. He did promise to fix their relationship, after all.
“Don’t worry, I know what you mean. I’m not mad” he explains “I just have a bit of a headache right now. So why don’t you try and get some more sleep?”
He expected a little ‘yes master’, but the pet nods and quietly seeps back on the sheets. So he fucked up that too, and might not hear pet speak again today. 
He sighs, making his way to the elevator, ignoring that it still hurts. He is not using a wheelchair today, not here where all of them will fucking stare at him.
The hotel staff worked fast. 
He expected to see a mess when he arrived at the hall, but they had already cleaned up most of it and set up the usual decorations and an extensive selection of breakfast food in the dining room.
Farlan could see why his father liked to throw parties here.
He scanned the room. Only a fraction of the guests were here, looking horribly hungover. He guessed the rest was still asleep or had called for room service. And thankfully his father wasn't here. 
But he did find the whore.
He wasn’t allowed on a table. There were plenty of empty ones, but they would never let someone like him take it. 
He figured that at least, he wasn’t kneeling by their feet licking the food out of their fingers, but sitting in a corner on the floor, surrounded by plates of every type of food. He already had eaten way more than what seemed to fit on such a scrawny body.
He’s starving, Farlan realized. 
He tried to access his state, but someone had given him a shirt and briefs, both too big for him. The black dress hadn’t survived the night. His eyes were hollowed out and surrounded by black bags. He was pale and sickly looking.
Feeling the star the whore lifts its eyes and bares teeth at him, clutching a donut and groaning like he’s afraid Farlan will take it away. 
“...Easy boy, easy. I’m not taking that” the whore narrows its eyes “I just wanted to see if you were still here”
“...Just barely”
“Well. Why don’t you tell me what the fuck last night was about? We made a deal”
Out of habit Farlan hits the tip of his cane on the floor twice. It’s a warning to his pet, but it means nothing to the whore. 
“I don’t fully remember, to be honest” he puts the donut aside and chooses a cupcake out of the pile, licking up the icing slowly, batting his eyelashes “But you know… I’m not exactly known for my loyalty”
"Lesson learned" 
“Besides” he continues, licking his lips exaggeratedly “You seemed disgusted by me last night. You only wanted me because I was the most repulsive thing you could find”
Farlan averts his gaze. It 's kind of true. 
The whore sighs. “Whatever, I don’t care. I can afford a taxi today. And I got some new contacts. It’s a good day”
“Look… did they hurt you?” 
Once again he narrows his eyes, stares at Farlan for a long while, before picking up some coffee.
“A little. Nothing I can’t handle. There were just too many of them” he shrugs as if it’s nothing “I don’t know how many fucked me last night. I might need to take an STI test, I don’t know”
“How can you be alright with that?” He twisted his nose.
“Eh. It was kinda hot. Sometimes I bite more than I can chew and I have to swallow it either way” he winks. “Oh I’m sure you swallowed a lot” he rolls his eyes. 
“Anyway, what’s even your deal” he takes another cupcake, licking the icing off it and ignoring the rest “What was that all for? Your dad does seem like an ass but he wasn’t really all that upset about it”
Farlan smiles, shakes his head. 
“Well, it backfired yesterday. But looking back, I think it still worked out. I got my pet back”
Orfeu makes a pause, searching his scrambled memories for it. 
“...There was… a little guy tied up…?”
“Yeah. Him. He 's mine. But my father doesn’t seem to be able to keep his hands away from him. Even worse when… it’s for this”
He gestures to the tables filled with guests.
“Ooww. You love your little guy, hm?” He smirks “In love with a pet, dear?”
Farlan blushes. 
“NO. NO- I mean. He’s mine. And I don’t like when they touch my things” he crosses his arms “That’s just it”
The whore just lifts an eyebrow. 
“Enough to get your father to hit you for it?”
…He sees red. The audacity to talk to him like that… He tries to kick him, but his legs hurt far too much and he can’t keep balance, the whore just curling up and protecting its face, while he falls on his butt.
He groans, burning in shame as the guests have their eyes on him now. Orfeu tries to help him get up and he just slaps his hand away, struggling but managing.
“How much would you charge to just let me beat the shit out of you, freak?” he whispers.
“...Hm. Same as yesterday” he shrugs, kind of setting Farlan back. He wanted to threaten him, he wasn’t expecting this reply “...But I can’t right now. Hurts too much”
He sighs, anger subsiding. 
“Man… you’re really fucked up aren’t you”
He gets no replies back. 
“I’ll get going” he picks up some of the food, stacking it on his shirt and reading to leave.
Farlan follows him to the hallway.
“Wait - wait. Do you want a ride?”
He turns, frowns.
“Why the fuck would you offer?”
He doesn’t have a good answer for that. 
“I just want to leave this hotel for a bit” he tries. He figures the pet will be okay for a little bit.
“Fine. But I mean it. If you try anything funky, I’ll stab you” 
“I’m sure you will”
He drives according to his instructions. It leads them to the edge of the town, to a creepy looking gravel road in a forest, and he starts to wonder if he actually plans on stabbing him.
Finally they reach this tiny run down shack. Truly the stuff of nightmares. Seems appropriate for that guy, anyway.
“Thanks” Orfeu purrs “You know… I still owe you a fuck. I did take your money… and I’m not giving it back”
Farlan lifts an eyebrow. The guy looks destroyed.
“Can you even after all that?”
“Well. Honestly, I think my poor ass deserves a break. But I’ve got fingers, and a greedy little tongue” he licks his teeth and winks “Or if you are up for it, we could surely invert things a little”
“Invert?” He frowns.
“Yeah! Have you never considered getting topped?” he winks “Maybe even a little dommed, love?”
He nearly chokes, his cheeks getting hotter. 
He’s never even been with anyone who wasn’t a pet. And being topped by a pet felt like an insult. 
“That’s ridiculous”
“Well. You seem embarrassed” he teases and giggles, leaning closer “I’m good at figuring out what people desire. I can make you melt under my hands…”
“No. No I would not enjoy that- stop” He blushes harder, realizing he’s pressing himself against the door.
Orfeu leans back and gives him space, so he can fucking breathe again.
“Well if you don’t want that, it’s alright… But it seems to me that you are just afraid~”
“I’m not afraid” he groans.
“...Shame goes a long way to make your life miserable. There’s nothing wrong with subbing. I know what you associate it with but - it’s cathartic. It feels so intimate” he shrugs “And we can take as many breaks as you like. Go slow. Safeword if you need. You’re the boss after all…”
“Yeah - yeah I’m the boss and I want you to stop-” he demands, sweating and gripping the wheels “I need to go back now - I want to take my pet home”
“Well. Thanks for the ride then” he shrugs, opening the door ”You know where to find me”
He doesn’t reply, just speeding off from there as fast as he can.   
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@whump-blog
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cake-apostate · 9 months
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So after completing Legend of Sun Knight again, I am obsessed with Roland and Illu. And I mean that as in the sense of 'I like both of them separately' and 'What is their relationship??' (Given how Roland literally made Illu from his own blood, I think of him as Roland's filial adult son rather than a lover.)
We know that Illu is completely devoted to his monarch, but Roland's actions are a mess of contradictions. In their first scene together, Illu's literally chasing after Roland, who yells at him to leave him alone. But Roland's also pissed when Sun kidnaps Illu, no matter how much he denies it; Illu, for his part, knows he's a valuable hostage, but it comes across as less 'I'm so important that the Monarch will stop for me' and more 'I hate that you can use me to get to him'. And when Silent Eagle finds out, he's afraid.
Then Roland is more upset at Tyler being kidnapped, and he goes off and abandons Illu to the Demon King while he returns to the Holy Temple.
On the surface, Illu is valuable to Roland for two reasons: he does the jobs Roland can't do, and he's basically impossible to replace. Roland may be the strongest swordsman on the continent, and he can raise a massive army of undead, but he doesn't have the skillset to train and manage an army. So he made Illu by permanently tearing out a chunk of his power. But I think there's more to their relationship than just being a valuable servant.
In Pink's rant to Sun while he's dying, she claims that Roland couldn't feel emotions properly because dying was so painful that nothing else could compare. While we can take her words with a grain of salt, is that why Roland created a creature of darkness with no memory of death? After all, Illu claims that Roland never killed him; he's not the man who died, but the creature made from his corpse.
I also like to think the reason why all of Roland's undead show emotion is that Roland missed being able to feel. Someone else pointed out that Roland regained the ability to feel deeply after he became a Death Monarch (which might pair with the link between dark magic and emotion); going off of that, I'm wondering if he granted the ability to all of his undead because that's what he missed most about being alive.
Sun seems to have figured it out. When he interrogates Illu, Illu claims that he's the only one allowed to constantly be at Roland's side; not even Silent Eagle is permitted to stay, even though he trained all his life for the role (granted, Roland doesn't seem to like him, either). Much later, Demon King Sun laments that the only ones who can stay by the Demon King's side are those who cannot die.
Is that why Roland made Illu? Is he an immortal companion to replace his brothers at the Holy Temple? Or is it because the Demon King's temper tantrums wind up hurting the people around them, and an undead companion can soak up more damage than a mortal? It does seem like Roland has hurt Illu in the past; when Illu tries to fly after Roland in their first scene, his army starts begging him to back off. Although when I put it like that, that sounds like Roland wants to leave so he doesn't hurt Illu any more than he already did, just like how he left his brothers behind.
Roland basically abandoned Illu to Sun when he returned to the Holy Temple; Adair demoralizes him when he claims that Roland never even mentioned him. But was it really just abandonment, or was Roland going to a place where Illu couldn't follow? It's the headquarters for the religion that despises undead, and Roland can only stay there because Sun gave him a perfect cover.
Illu cannot thrive at the Holy Temple, not like Roland. He hates his human disguise, and doesn't have any memory of being human. Besides, he'd be all alone without his subordinates. The Holy Temple already hides one powerful undead, and maybe they can hide another, but what about his immediate subordinates? And theirs? Would they really be happy there?
Maybe I'm looking too deep into this. But I like to think that Roland wouldn't completely abandon Illu; I'm writing a fic where Roland comes back for him.
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tetsvhoe · 3 years
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REGRET AND OTHER CLICHES [2]
you never know what you have until it’s gone, so they say. you think by now they should have known that.
pt. 1 i know who you pretend i am [2]
character/s: akaashi keiji x gn!reader
genre/s: mostly angst idk why i tell myself these are angst to fluff
warning/s: none i think
gwen’s notes 🤍: thank you @aka-a-shii for helping me come up with this! i hope u like it aaah ion think this is as painful as the previous parts tho
MASTERLIST | TAGLIST
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akaashi keiji
“you seem busy these days, keiji,” you commented dejectedly as you set akaashi’s coffee on the table. he didn’t seem to pick up on your mood as he stuck his nose in front of his laptop’s screen. thick square rimmed glasses sat atop the bridge of his nose haphazardly and features faintly illuminated by the light. he was always effortlessly ethereal no matter what he was doing, even when he was breaking you to pieces.
“mhm,” he mumbled in agreement. he absentmindedly picked the warm mug up and cautiously brought it to his lips, eyes still glued to the screen.
“can i see what you’ve been working on?” you played it off casually though there was an inevitable tremble in your voice and masked your anxiousness with a tight lipped smile. you hugged your warm cup with both hands to steady the shaking.
the faint clicking of the keys halted as he brought his eyes up to meet yours. he was as stoic as ever, but you learned to discern the slightest change in his behavior. even if it was as minor as his eyebrows furrowing together microscopically and his mouth parting just enough to inhale sharply. “maybe when i finish it, darling.” then resumed the faint clicking.
“you always used to let me read your works in progress, ‘kaashi,” you pried, feigning an innocent pout to lighten the increasingly tense situation. part of you wanted him to come clean, another part wanted you to be proven wrong so desperately. so far it seemed as though the former was coming true.
a brief pasue, akaashi glanced around while managing to avoid your gaze, the typing resumed. “this one’s a little bit different,” he reasoned.
“must be important then,” you whispered, feeling your resolve break and your façade of a smile fade. you placed your hands on your lap, eyes trailed downward as you fidgeted with them and in an attempt to hide the tears you knew were going to come. “much more important than i’ll ever be.”
“wha‒” akaashi’s words seemed to have been caught suspended in the air as he finally looked at your broken state. it didn’t take much for him to put two and two together; when he left his office the other night, the way you’ve been acting strange since then, prying about what he was writing.
akaashi knelt beside you, soothingly rubbing your back, and squeezing your hands as you freely let your tears fall. “i’m so sorry, love,” he began, voice soft and calm. he knew there was a possibility that this could happen. he knew getting into a relationship when he was still hung up over someone didn’t come with zero consequences but how was he supposed to go from here? “i can explain.”
“then why?” you cried, feeling pathetic and vulnerable.
“i admit i wasn’t yours entirely when we first started dating.” akaashi harshly bit his bottom lip, realizing how bad that sounded. “but i… i just needed to get everything out of my head and into writing. my thoughts, unresolved feelings, all the what ifs‒”
“and what about me?” he stared at you with wide eyes, confused. “where did i fit into all that, while you were figuring out your feelings for someone else, i was over here devoting mine to you.”
akaashi fell silent, feeling his guilt build up in his chest. “i’m ready now, to devote myself just as much if not more,” he pleaded, sincerity in his eyes as he tried to look in yours.
you scoffed bitterly and his heart lurched in his chest. akaashi was only ever used to your unconditional love and care, one which he took for granted. “oh, are you almost in the conclusion of your little love story?” you didn’t mean to come off so hostile, especially not with your perfectly calm and collected (for now) boyfriend. but you could only do so much when you learn you’ve been cast aside until he was ready for you, when it was convenient for him.
“i’m sorry akaashi, but i’ve just reached the conclusion of our story all the same.”
you bolted out of the place because any longer and you would have fallen victim with his beautiful eyes that shone brighter when he cried. akaashi was left frozen in place. he couldn’t move even as his legs began to ache from crouching for too long. his mouth left agape, wanting to scream or cry or call your name‒anything. but it felt as though he was choking for air. he stumbled over himself after who knows how long and looked around, finally gaining a sense of self back.
his cup of coffee was no longer steaming, but he was sure if he held a palm against it, he would feel its warmth. yours was right next to his, half finished. the bed you both slept on the night before still hadn’t been made. leftovers from your cooking sat coldly in the fridge. your toothbrush was on the sink next to his and a mess of skincare products sprawled on the counter. your shirt was thrown over a chair and the bedroom smelled of your perfume.
his laptop whirred quietly but the barren apartment made it seem so loud. he noticed how the writing displayed on the screen stopped midsentence. just like you and him.
all else pointed out that akaashi was too late and he knew that. but he hoped and prayed that this time when he tried, he would catch up with you and the story you've written all alone. he would make up for everything he did and didn't do so long as you don't turn the page to its last.
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@mirakeul @realityisabitch-blr @erinoikawa @haji-bby @seijohoe@szeonn @banananaa4 @qualitygiantshoepsychic @thezebra12 @iwaizumisunshine @stffychn @vvvselfindulgence @devilgirlcrybabiey
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animeyanderelover · 2 years
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Okay so I know this might be a strange request but like as many of the akatsuki you do. With a darling that is Kagaya sister but like acts the complete opposite. She doesn’t like fighting and rather shy and follow orders and not escape? If your willing! Please have a amazing day and hope you are staying safe!💕
I think I did something similar before, but given the fact that s/o is the opposite of Kaguya, this opens up for new possibilities. Also, why do I suddenly feel the need to write more about Zetsu?
Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possssiveness, obsessiveness, manipulation, threatening, gaslightening, paranoia, delusions, stalking, mentions of kidnapping
Sister who is the opposite of Kaguya
Obito Uchiha
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🔥Truth be told, this will end in a complete catastrophe because with someone as shy and submissive as his s/o, Obito's obsession escalates. He's always been the overbearingly protective and paranoid type, doesn't matter if you're quite powerful and a literal celestial woman, the sister of the mother of chakra and possess unbelievable powers yourself. But with darling hating to fight and being so adoringly shy? He feels like his heart will explode at any moment for multiple reasons and he goes into full mother hen mode.
🔥To a certain degree his fears are justified since you are not human and the dangers of you getting killed or captured and experimented on for it is in the frame of possibilities. It's a hellish world after all, his darling can't possibly trust anyone else besides him because he loves and adores s/o for who she is. Darling is just too precious for the world he lives in, but you can bet your heart and soul that he'll create a better world for them and slaughter everyone who dares threatening to touch a strand on her hair the wrong way.
Zetsu
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🪴Given the history of Black Zetsu with Kaguya, he pretty much loses it as soon as he has found s/o, the sister of the one he calls his mother. This honestly leads to quick turn of events where he grows obsessed quickly and stalks on you. White Zetsu is just pulled along since the weird behavior of his other half worries him, but he just follows along and with time he starts gaining feelings as well. Here it has to be said that White Zetsu still is somewhat conflicted about his feelings and doesn't want to turn your life upside down, Black Zetsu on the other hand thinks differently.
🪴He finds himself going frenzy, ecstatic to have found Kaguya's sister who still searches for her which is why he quickly becomes completely devoted to you as much as to Kaguya. He's manipulative and cunning so he manages to convince his partner quickly into taking you somewhere more safe and isolated, Black Zetsu paranoid that he'll lose you just like Kaguya. Both halfs do share the same fondness for your shy and willing behavior though, it's refreshing since they're usually surrounded by violent people and it's so easy to keep you safe as well. White Zetsu won't be let in on this, but Black Zetsu plans to tell you who he truly is and what his goals are.
Pain
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🌧️Pain finds himself extremely pleased with the development of this situation. He has a better grip of his paranoia than Obito does, but it's still there and for that fear plagues his mind as well. Granted, he wasn't exactly the most friendly person at the beginning, as the leader of Amegakure and the Akatsuki he has to be suspicious of someone like you, though he's also fascinated having the sister of the rabbit demon within his grasp. He's logical so even if he does know that you're a bashful woman who hates fighting, he will never take you lightly for it since you still possess power levels that would even cause the Akatsuki troubles.
🌧️With that in mind he still takes his good amount of advantage out of it. With s/o being someone who listens, he has much more of an easier time controlling them and keeping them "safe" which puts his mind a bit at ease since you'll listen to what he has to say. On the other hand this soft personality of yours has him growing ten times more protective. Nagato as the one who is better in exposing his feelings kind of goes crazy because your innocence is a bit too much to take, especially since he has tainted his hands with so much blood.
Konan
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🤍Whilst she isn't someone to let her guard down that easily either, she won't be as hostile and intimidating upon meeting her darling for the first time. Konan is far more understanding and ready to listen, even if she as well is the slightest bit alarmed when she first learned about your origin. It's the tiniest bit painful to know that you are a person who hates fighting and prefer following the words of others rather than making your own decisions. It's kind of conflicting since her worlds and ideals are so different from yours, on the other hand she can not let you go just like that either.
🤍Her protective side experiences still a nasty boost because of this, even if she is still a chill Yandere to have. This woman just wants to protect her s/o from the violence of this world even if some could argue that she isn't exactly the perfect person to do this. She'll try her best though to keep you away from her problems, even if she'd tell you relatively soon about the plans Nagato and her have and that she is by no means a good person.
Sasori
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🦂He's disgustingly possessive over his darling and the fact that they are a celestial being only adds more fuel to all of this. It's extremely hard for him to fall for someone who he didn't know before his transformation into a puppet and his initial goal was to transform you into a human puppet, knowing that he'll never find someone like you again. So he chased you down, in high spirits when thinking that he would add such a rarity to his collection with all of your hidden talents and powers. Here a certain line is still drawn from the darling because even if she hates fighting, she will defend herself and she still hasn't found a way to bring her sister back.
🦂These constant delays manage to frustrate Sasori who admires your extraterrestial beauty, only the knowledge that you are supposedly immortal and for that don't age allows him to feel better. Art is after all something eternal and that luckily applies to you. It's hard to distinguish when exactly his plain obsession transform into something akin to love and he needs a while to find out himself, but be assured that your submissive nature makes things easier now that his intention isn't to kill you and turn you into a puppet anymore.
Kisame Hoshigaki
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🦈Kisame is a man who has sharper and rougher edges to him, not to mention that he does like scaring his darling. It's just that he honestly finds himself kind of flabbergasted with how harmless and extremely shy his s/o is. His appearance has always given him weird looks and a natural intimidating aura which is why he kind of sympathizes with you since you with your looks also are bound to gain more attention, though with him kidnapping you at one point that problem is quickly taken care of. Funnily enough a shy darling who won't run away is a perfect fit for him since Kisame can become desperate and love-starved with time.
🦈If his darling is willing and just gives him what he wants, he will quickly mellow out and turn softer. So you can tame him like this, though it's important to say that you shouldn't use his softness against him because that just calls for a punishment. It's kind of weird for him though when you tell him about your sister and the vast difference between her and you. Finds your attitude adorable even if he doesn't like admitting it which is why he sometimes makes you uncomfortable on purpose, he has his sadistic side after all.
Itachi Uchiha
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🍡He's rarely been the type to let his emotions and his obsessive love get in the way of his rational thinking, though discovering a celestial woman who is related to Kaguya herself and falling in love with the same woman wasn't within his expectation. Itachi's life isn't a normal one so it's dangerous if people would become aware of you, so much more because you aren't even a human. So finding a safe place where you can stay without being discovered becomes all the more important for Itachi, though he knows isolation isn't something healthy.
🍡He respects his darling's decision that she hates fighting, though he still puts value and importance in the fact that she'll have to at least defend herself in an emergency. Given your powers you've inherited from birth, he does not have to worry about you being overpowered, it's just your softhearted nature that concerns him a bit. Not all people are as kind as you might think so he simply asks for you to be careful. Itachi isn't all that happy about the fact that you are so submissive either, he supports you in making your own decisions as well. Overall he still knows that he can fully trust you so you have a lot of freedom.
Deidara
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💥He's a worshipper and having gotten his hands on his darling who looks simply gorgeous as hell and can't be compared to anyone because of it makes him all the more possessive and extremely happy. Differently from his fellow artist friend, he's hunting the s/o down because he loves her romantically and wants to keep her safe, he was just mesmerized when he saw her for the first time and wants to have such beauty for himself. Deidara is also one of the few who expresses daily how incredibly sweet he finds your submissive and tame personality. It's nothing short of adorable and you get lots of affection and praise from him for being such a good girl for him.
💥Despite him acting more sweet and affectionate, it's still save to say that Deidara as a Yandere can be highly disturbing since he loves bombarding everyone he views as a rival or danger and he will take you with him to show you his devotion. Obviously he doesn't complain with the fact that you don't like fighting, if all it increases his delusion that he can play the role of your savior and hero. On the other hand he tends to get slightly irritated if you were to tell him that you don't enjoy the shows he puts up for you.
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nyashykyunnie · 3 years
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Hello hello can I request first date and first kiss with xiao and diluc? both of them need sum love, especially xiao his angst potential is too much QwQ anyway thank you have a great day!!
A/N: Hi Hi Chirumiii!! Tysm for the request </3!! And I really agree with u that these bbs need more love hnnn!! I hope u enjoy this hc:D Have a great day too hnnn!!
𝕏𝕚𝕒𝕠, 𝔻𝕚𝕝𝕦𝕔 x 𝙶𝙽! ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣: Fɪʀsᴛ Dᴀᴛᴇ ᴀɴᴅ Kɪss
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ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚𝕏𝕚𝕒𝕠˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ
﹢ ˖     ✦      ¸ . ﹢  °  ¸.    ° ˖ ・ ·̩   。 ☆.      ﹢ ˖     ✦      ¸ .
I tell you, Xiao was very serious when it comes to this. Well, of course he is, this is for you after all. He doesn’t want your first date with him to be very...Disheartening.
The adeptus did his research thoroughly, he even went so far as to ask Verr Goldett for help.
She was very pleased seeing him like this, for once- He wasn’t thinking about his dark memories or his job. He was thinking of someone very dear to him, seeing him like this made her hear sigh in relief.
When she gave her suggestions, Xiao managed to come up with a good plan.
Xiao was very stiff in your date, appearing at some point nervous. His mind constantly trailed with thoughts like ‘Am I doing this right?’ ‘Are They Enjoying this?’ ‘Is this how mortals do it?’ ‘Am I missing on something?’
Give your boy a comforting pat in the back, it’ll really help him feel a little more assured. 
When you’re both walking, Xiao matches your pace. He’s not a beat slow or fast. He is with you and Xiao wants you to know that.
 Don’t expect him to be too into skinship, it seems...Too awkward for him and he’s afraid of exerting the wrong strength and might end up with you being hurt because of his carelessness.
However, if your eyes are very sharp- You’ll see him trying to reach for your hand but ends up retracting it and clenches his fist.
He wants to hold you, as close as you can possibly be- But the fear of just hurting you haunts him ceaselessly. 
But it’s alright, it doesn’t mean he wont hold you. He’ll eventually build up the confidence and he’ll softly take yours with his.  Xiao’s grip was firm, it’s obvious in his hold that he is someone who has fought numerous battles and wields his spear alone. Maybe his touch will feel a little sad no matter how loving and careful it is.
He wasn’t used to this, walking peacefully with someone beside him. It felt unreal.
Years of never-ending bloodbath, years of always being on high guard- It changed him drastically to the anguish he now suffers alone with.
Xiao was used to being able to not call someone his own, the walls around built up to the point he is trapped in the tight space of darkness of his own grief. Entangled by the karmic binds, forever cursed in the ways of always on the hunt- Xiao walks alone in a path he paved himself, nothing but suffering awaits him.
But when you came into his life? He felt like he wanted to lay down everything of him and just offer it all to you. His heart swore a silent oath to protect and love you in discreet ways.
Xiao takes you to Qingyun Peak and brings you further up the the floating island. He softly pushes your shoulders down to have you sit and he follows beside you.
“Wait a bit” He says, his amber eyes trailing off to the scenery ahead.
You look ahead to see the sky painted in amber and gold, the traces of the blue sky slowly disappearing as the sun takes it’s rest. Your eyes glistened, gsping at how stunning it was.
But Xiao’s eyes weren’t looking at where your gaze wanders, his orbs only looked towards you. 
To him, this sunset doesn’t compare to the beauty that is sitting beside right now. With you, the Golden Winged King didn’t feel like he lived in eons of slaughter. 
It was as if you broke down the walls around him and removed the binds that tortured him, you presence felt like it was the sun itself to him. Your ascension in his life gave him a new light.
You were his flame, without you, Xiao won’t have his light. Where you are, is his guide to peace.
“Xiao this is-” He cuts you off, immediately locking his lips with yours. 
His eyes carefully shut as he brings you in closer, softly circling around your waist and maybe pulling you to his lap. 
His lips were warm, it was soft and it nibbled on yours lovingly.
When he realized what he had done, Xiao immediately pulled out- his face burning to the point even his ears were pinkish.
“I-I” He fumbled in his words, not knowing what to say. “I-I! I!”
Xiao tripped, humiliation flooding him and now he wanted to bang his head somehwere. HE EVEN PULLED YOU TO HIS LAP, HOW DID HE JUST LOSE CONTROL NOW?!
“Xiao?”
“I-I...”
No doubt Xiao won’t be able to look at you straight in the eyes after his -ahem- fail in restraining himself
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ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚𝔻𝕚𝕝𝕦𝕔 ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ
﹢ ˖     ✦      ¸ . ﹢  °  ¸.    ° ˖ ・ ·̩   。 ☆.      ﹢ ˖     ✦      ¸ .
Who would have thought that the Head Of The Ragnivndr, who tirelessly rejected the proposals of many wealthy nobles who offered their beautiful daughters- Would eventually fall for someone and ask them out on a date.
A date with Diluc will no doubt be very luxurious (Well duh, this man is a walking wallet). This man might even dress nice, probably in a suit. 
Diluc isn’t used to something like this so expect him to be a little awkward at some point. But he’ll make ways to make this outing for the both of you entertaining. No one wants a date that is just bland, right?
He’ll take you to the wonderful sight in Monstadt. But expect him to avoid going inside as much as he can, Diluc doesnt want to deal with his annoying step-brother after all. He wants to save himself from the Cryo user who will probably wont let him hear the end of it.
He want’s this date to be perfect, he made a lot of efforts for this after all. When was the last time he fully devoted himself to something that isn’t about work or his nightly Darknight Hero agendas?
Who knows, but he doesn’t care. All that matters now is that he will please you, the person who he is willing to give his all to. 
He was always blinded by work, he never batted an eye towards anything else. He wasn’t interested a tad bit in romance, he believed he didn’t need it. He just needs to do what he needs to do. No need for that.
But when you came? Boy did he want to open his own head and check how much water had gone in. Maybe he wanted to smack himself and say ‘So, love is insignificant?’
When he fell for you, his heart burned with to desire to be wanted. He wanted to get your attention. 
The peaceful walk with you felt unreal since he was too used to being in front of piled papers or a blade in hand to slice down. Something serene like this.... Just felt like omething that he’ll only experience inside a dream.
His crimson orbs will always wander to you. Looking at you makes him feel cozy and his heart roared out bbecause he just wants to protect you. 
If he’s confident enough, he’ll softly interlace his fingers with you. He’ll even rub his thumb at the back of yours to have you know that he’s there and he wont be leaving you anytime soon.
Well, in fact... Diluc doesn’t even want to leave you alone ever. He wants to keep you by his side if you also want to.
Moments like this, precious time spent like this, he’ll cherish it closely in his heart.
After all, this might be the last time he’ll get to experience something as soothing as this. 
“Close your eyes” He softly says and you obey him, Diluc then takes your hand and leads you softly.
His touch, full of adoration. He steps were slow and steady, he even has his hand at your back to catch you incase you trip. 
“You can open them now”
The moment your eyes opened, the night sky painted with stars took your breath away. The wind softly blew, brushing against your hair and your strands now softly flew against the breeze. 
Diluc smiled at how you bright your face was now, seeing you this radiant made him feel as if he had been granted a wish of a lifetime.
This is all he wants. He knows this moment will eventually fade into a distant memory that he will no longer be able to ever reach, but it doesn’t matter. He’ll hold this as close as it can. It will now become a piece of his heart.
“Did you enjoy?” He broke the silence between you both.
“Yeah!” You cheered, turning your face that glistened it delight towards him. “This is too stunning, I want to see this every night!”
“That won’t be too hard to grant, I’ll bring you here anyti-”
His words were cut off when you suddenly pounced on him, bringing your lips together.
Diluc frozen in his spot, his orbs blinking in utter disbelief on the sudden move you made. He gulped, unable to function but he eventually returned the affection you were giving him, his arms snaked around your waist, pulling it closer to his figure. 
His heart raced at the contact your lips made, he locked it in for a second before lovingly kissing you even deeper.
Under the moonlight, two souls have united. The wind blew a soft breeze, as if announcing the fuse of two who were made for eachother. 
A/N: Aiyaaa, I’m beat. I’m sleepy and tired, I still have homeworks to do tomorrow so I’m taking a rest now jasjsksg. Have a great day/night everyone! Hope you enjoy this headcanon! **IMMEDIATELY PASSES OUT AND SLEEPS**
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wangshuus · 3 years
Text
love like you | xiao
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pairing: xiao/gn!reader
genre: angst+fluff
wc: 4.1k
summary: you and xiao are polar opposites according to him and because of that, he deems himself unworthy. 
note: this is my first time writing for genshin and i love xiao so much so this is essentially a bunch of word vomit i whipped together while listening to love like you from the su soundtrack :’) 
(i’ll have to go in for another proof read after but pls take this for now)
fic under the cut
In the land of Liyue, the Adepti were acknowledged for being the protectors of the sacred land, guarding both it and its people. As most of the adepti resided in their abodes, there was but one that stayed within the vicinity of the Wangshu Inn. Xiao; the Vigilant Yaksha, Conqueror of Demons, Alatus. He went by many titles, many names all of which carried the story of the adeptus himself. Upon the years of history carried through Liyue in its passing generations, it’s known to many that despite having the looks of a young man, the adeptus was not someone you would want to take lightly. The Yaksha carried thousands of years worth of burden, shackles of guilt and terror binding him to unpleasant memories. With every passing day, he is harshly reminded of the way he and his polearm skillfully worked through the bloodied dance of weapons on the battlefield, crimson liquid painting the ground and his very hands. It stains so intensely that it was like an unseen tattoo that reminded him of eons of slaughter he partook in, the lives and dreams he so greedily took from people. It was something only he could see and something he would continue to see for many more years to come according to him. 
He very rarely got close to anything or anyone, devoting his life to duty and the orders granted to him by Rex Lapis to protect the beloved land of Liyue. For this very reason, he never thought much about emotions or the overall concept of it, seeing it as a worthless matter, a weakness even, for it could not help in the slaying of those in battle. All he ever knew at that point was violence, having his purity harshly stolen from his grasp all those centuries ago and being left with not even a single grain of what it was like to feel anything pleasant. Whenever he did feel anything, pain, suffering and agony were the only things that filled his system therefore to him, it was better to feel nothing at all. Needless to say, he was somewhat unapproachable on several levels, but who could blame him? 
There then came a day in which all of this would away as an estranged guest made your way merry when into the Inn. You, (Y/n) were a mere mortal traveler with a dendro vision chained upon your hip, specializing in the field of healing. You stumbled upon the inn, looking to take on commissions and requests in exchange for a room for the time being. Your fates clashed with each other during your first encounter when you were tasked to deliver almond tofu to the adeptus that was specially made by yourself. You could still remember stuttering over your words in embarrassment during your first meeting as he revealed himself to you, commending you for your culinary skills but telling you to leave immediately, saying something along the lines of it being ‘too dangerous for mere mortals to stay in the presence of adepti for too long’. It was accurate to say that you two took an interest in the oddity of the situation. Why did Xiao decide to reveal himself to the simple human, knowing very well his mere presence was already a threat to you. Why did you not turn away in fear just from the adeptus’ profound deathly gaze? There were several unspoken questions between you two at the time but that one fateful encounter had caused a shift.
You had decided to extend your stay at the inn a little longer than you intended to. You went about the daily tasks set out by Verr in exchange for your stay every day that you were there. The completion of your tasks leads to a delivery that had become habitual to you during your stay at the inn. Every day you’d made your way up to the highest terrace in the inn to drop off a plate of almond tofu to the adeptus. On some days, he’d reveal himself and on some others, he chose to remain unseen-- and to you, this was okay. As the days passed, it began to be more apparent how odd this whole shift was for the both of them.
You are an adventurer, someone who sought out to travel the lands, and yet, you remained grounded at the Inn, your fascination and curiosity driving your patience to learn about the distant Yaksha and fuelling your willingness to stay settled at the inn instead of seeking for the thrill of adventure. Xiao was an adeptus, a being that has lived for many years on end, a being that has slaughtered countless, a being that carried an indescribable amount of karmic debt for all the treacherous and ungodly amount of terror he has bestowed upon thousands in the past. He could not explain to himself why he even decided to associate with a simple mortal, thinking that there was something wrong with him at the time because he knew that if he were in his right mind, he would have never even bothered taking a glance at the human. But then again, not all things could be explained. From the days that you had stayed at the Inn for that time, you would find yourself visiting the lone adeptus every evening, delivering a plate of what became familiar to him as your almond tofu, the one that deemed to be the closest to that of the dreams he so greedily devoured all those years ago. 
Months had passed since the first day you first set foot into the inn. You had managed other work and commissions throughout the time but often found herself coming back. you became well acquainted with everyone who worked there, practically making it her second home in fact. Even when you did have to part ways, you would pass by whenever you could, sparing your time and energy at least once a week to come reeling back like a moth drawn to a flame. The reason behind it was very evident to you, nothing that you would ever admit to hiding at this point. You did enjoy the company and atmosphere of the other humans at the inn but at the end of the day, everything came back down to the enigmatic adeptus that resided there. 
Sensing your presence had become second nature to the adeptus, him knowing the very moment you set foot into the Inn. He would never admit it to himself, but he found himself looking forward to the mortal’s visits. He still thought about the first day he decided to reveal himself to you, feeling a little more content about it with every passing day. But something about the whole ordeal scared him to no end. He wished it wasn’t the case but he was well aware of all the changes and feelings that had bloomed since you waltzed into his life. The feeling of bubbling excitement inside of him every time you came back to him, the feeling of embarrassment of when you’d blurt out compliments towards him, feeling more comfortable and daring as the visits continued. The feeling of protectiveness washing over him when you told him stories in which you got even the slightest bit injured. One may view this just as someone showing emotion; but that was the problem for him. He wasn’t supposed to show emotion-- he wasn’t supposed to feel-- according to himself at least. Rather, he didn’t deem himself worthy to feel pleasant emotions.
“Xiao” A familiar voice called out to him, turning to face the direction from where he stood, which happened to be the spot where he viewed the familiar landscape of Liyue.
You made your way towards him, holding out a plate of almond tofu which he had come to admire. He took the plate from your grasp and greeted her with a light hum of acknowledgment before beginning to munch down on the tofu. You let out a soft chuckle before standing next to him and leaning on the railing, staring off into the starry skies you had become accustomed to seeing, though every time, it never failed to amaze you. Your eyes gazed at the twinkling stars in the sky as you began your usual routine of speaking about how your life has been since you last saw each other. You had become accustomed to Xiao’s aloof demeanor at times like this because you knew that despite him seemingly looking uncaring, he was secretly listening to your rambling. You stared off into the distance as you spoke, your attention being stolen by the stars. While at work on the plate of almond tofu in his hands, Xiao took these moments to look at you as he silently listened to your long-winded sentences.
In serene moments like these, it was hard for Xiao to keep his composure. Though the stars in the sky glimmered so beautifully, they paled in comparison to your eyes when they sparkled so passionately when you spoke of your adventures. In moments like these, Xiao was reminded of your courteous nature. He was reminded of how good you are, going about your time adventuring the lands, specializing in the art of healing with the assistance of the beloved vision clipped at your side. You lived for adventure; you lived to help those in need. It was in moments like these when he became painfully aware of how different you were from each other.
It had been so long since Xiao ever considered himself to be good in any way. He was all too aware of the disgusting red that painted his hands permanently, the hands which have slain countless beings in the past. The hands that he did not see worthy to touch anything so fragile in fear that it would break, feeling as if anything would die at even the slightest touch of his fingertips. You see, when he met you, he was so sure that he was far from anything good and you proved himself to be right in his mind; because you were what he deemed to be good in his eyes. And he was nothing like you.
Before he knew it, he was left with an empty plate and a bustling mind full of thoughts as he looked out into the distance along with your words flowing freely with the wind. You turned back to see Xiao in all his glory, taking in his presence, eyes lingering upon him like the first time you met him. There was never a day that passed where he didn’t look stunning in your eyes. The reserved yaksha was nothing short of a challenge for you to get close to. Even to this day, there are times where he was standoffish towards you. In moments like these, you’re reminded of how you’ve barely scratched the surface of his character, being well aware that he’s lived far longer than you and will quite possibly continue to live way beyond your time. Though he hasn’t explained every single detail of his past to you, there have been significant points in time where he has opened up about snippets of his past, to which you grasped and held onto as much detail as you could when he went on. You’ve picked up that Xiao isn’t the most well-articulated when it comes to explaining his feelings but you paid no mind to it, taking pride over the fact that he has yet to slit your throat open with his spear. There have been countless occasions in which you’ve praised Xiao but none of them have truly projected your feelings towards the adeptus.
Xiao was not truly aware of how deeply you felt for him. Sure, he thought that you were interested enough to stick around and pester him for who knows whatever reason. However, it went way beyond that. You admired him so dearly, his presence being one in which you ironically found an indescribable amount of comfort in. You’ve listened intently to his wise words of wisdom, his tales of his bloodstained past that he was willing to share, as well as his little remarks about how peculiar humans are. You saw beyond the seemingly frigid, cold, and distant demeanor of Xiao and instead saw a boy with such a yearning to be tender, gentleness being beyond his reach according to him but to you, he was gentle. 
You noticed the way he would handle the little things involving you. You notice the way his tone has changed in the slightest when talking to you whenever he does, softer than the first time you had initially met. You notice the way he acts when it comes to physical touch, preferring to make little to no contact to you but his touches were soft and fleeting whenever touch was necessary. He’s told you several times in the past that he has a brute touch preferring a distance to keep himself from hurting you. From that alone, you knew he’s gentle, reluctant to admit it though due to the events of the past but nonetheless, his gentleness was hard to grasp but must be cherished greatly and that is something that you have done. 
“Xiao” You called out to him. He turned to face you, noticing how you were staring right back at him, your arms resting upon the railing as you gazed at him.
“Is something wrong? You seem a little more spaced out today.” You spoke out again.
He sighed before clicking his tongue. “It's nothing that should be of any concern to mo--” 
“--mortals like you, I know yada yada yada. You’ve said that far too many times in the past. Now tell me, what’s truly wrong Xiao. I did make you listen to my rambling so it’s only fair that you shoot something my way.” You cut him off. 
Annoyance laced his features as he let out his nth sigh of the day. He turned to look at you, giving you a serious, almost cold look.
“I am already greatly aware of how odd some human tendencies are, knowing you mortals do some strange actions that even I question to this day. But you, you are the most peculiar of ones that I have encountered. You wish to stay with someone as myself, someone who could take your life in a single heartbeat. So tell me, why does someone like you continue to linger?”
Lo and behold, a question that you were surprised to hear from him, though you knew the day would eventually come when he would ask. Why did you continue to come to him time and time around? You let out an exasperated sigh as you turned to him with a lighthearted smile in an attempt to lighten the tension that filled the air.
“I enjoy your company, that’s all. Is it so wrong to spend time with someone when you enjoy them being around?” You stated. His eyes narrowed at your response.
“I do not believe it is normal to risk your life simply for mere company, it is not worth it. I refuse to believe that your motives are as light-hearted as that. Is there something that you desire that is beyond that of human capabilities?” He stated.
Your eyebrows furrowed and your smile faltered at his aloof response. What was with the sudden cold demeanor he decided to put up front? You held eye contact with his warm amber orbs that held a stare ironically as cold as the mountains of Dragonspine.
“It’s because you’re you, Xiao. I come back and spend my time here because you are you. I enjoy the little things about you and the time we spend together, y’know? I enjoy the way your eyes light up at the sight of almond tofu, I enjoy your little declarations of how odd us mortals are, I enjoy hearing you open up about even the littlest of things. You’re special in my eyes, Xiao. You’re strong in so many different aspects, you’re wise in the words of advice you speak and last but not least, you’re gentle. Those are just a few of many aspects of yourself that make you so special to me.”
Xiao’s face contorted to one of bewilderment for a brief moment before morphing to one of disbelief, scoffing at the statement. ‘Gentle’ he thought. When you mentioned him being gentle, he thought to himself that it was a load of pure nonsense.
“Calling me gentle is simply blasphemous. I have told you countless times that I am far anything related to that of a tender nature. I leave nothing but a trail of anguish and regret. You’re foolish to see me in anything of a good kind of special, even more so if you see me as gentle.” He firmly stated as his arms crossed tightly across his torso.
Archon’s Xiao’s mind was a mess. He was in a stubborn state of denial as he refused to believe the words that slipped past your lips, writing them off as lies. He covered the creeping insecurity that arose in him with a stone cold demeanor like he always did. He couldn’t accept it, he couldn't even fathom to believe what makes you think he’s so special. 
“Listen Xiao, you’re being awfully stubborn right now.” You said dejectedly. Despite his current manner, you wouldn’t back down, seeing this as one of the only opportunities where you could truly and openly speak about how you felt towards him. You turned so that you were fully facing him, standing your ground as you spoke to him.
“You think so lowly of yourself sometimes y’know? It saddens me to know that you only ever see yourself like that.” You stated.
“I am stating nothing but the tru--” Xiao spoke.
“Listen to me, Xiao.” You cut him off, him being surprised by your snapback.
“You’re far more than your own past. I’m aware of everything you’ve gone through from what you’ve told me. Forgive me for I’m unable to fully sympathize with you but I can’t let you continue to do this to yourself. I’ve only known you for mere months out of the thousands of years you’ve lived but I’ve been around you long enough to know that you’re not as bad as you claim yourself to be.” You paused for a moment to gather yourself before you continued on, looking that Xiao was very much paying attention, an unreadable look on his face.
“You’ve told me yourself that you’ve been around long enough to capture the knowledge of the world to an extent. You’ve told me that you’re aware of how barbaric and lethal your own strength is but you’ve never told me that you hold tenderness inside you, even after all you’ve been through. You hold such valuable knowledge in the field of strength but you’ve failed to notice that the gentleness in you is not completely gone.” Your own hands stretched out and firmly held onto his gloved ones as you continued speaking. 
“You speak about yourself as if you’re not worthy of feeling anything but the anguish and pain as a price to pay for your actions. You’re allowed to feel vulnerable, you’re allowed to feel curious, you’re allowed to feel happiness. I want you to be more honest with yourself so that you can see that you’re worthy enough to feel good emotions. You can extend yourself out to others and the human world and allow yourself to be free. Still after all this time, I sense you feel that it’s necessary to keep me at an arm's length but that’s not true nor is it something that I want. Though this fact alone proves my statement. The fact you wish to keep me away is a sign that you hold that gentleness within but you can still learn to be gentle without having to lock everyone out. Your loneliness isn’t an inevitable conclusion, and I’ll prove to you that it isn't. I wish to stay with you not only because I enjoy your company but because I found something in you worth cherishing. I want to see you grow from whatever anguish you hold, even if it’s just a little bit. I know my life might be merely a second in yours but please, let me do what I can in my lifetime to make you feel worthy and feel loved, because I truly do love and care for you, Xiao.” Your grip tightened around his hands, fearing that he’d yank them away from you with every passing second. Although you firmly stand your ground, you were internally malfunctioning at the whole-hearted confession to the adeptus in front of you.
Xiao felt as if the wind was knocked out of his lungs, face contorted into that of even more disbelief as he found himself still trying to process this whole ordeal. He took the time in processing the words that came directly from your heart as it went straight into his, a warm feeling erupting inside of him, something that felt to foreign to him that it scared him a little. Though your words held a weight to them, it was much more pleasant compared to that of his past memories, but it wasn’t enough to distract him from the way you desperately held onto him.
He was well aware that he could pull away from you at any moment, knowing that your strength could in no way match his but he couldn’t do it. The moment your hands touched his, even through his gloves he felt the firm gentleness of your grasp. You were no hydro user but in that very moment, he felt as if you washed away the bloody sins that stained his hands for years on end. For once he felt clean; for once he felt pure, rid of all the unpleasantries of the world for these very moments that he spent with you.
You noticed how Xiao stood still. You feared that you might’ve severely angered him from the way you snapped at him, but the look on his face told you otherwise.
The usually serious and stern face of the adeptus held such a soft, perhaps vulnerable look. His eyes were wide and in the moonlight, you could tell that they were glossed over from the way they shone with emotion, mouth slightly ajar, possibly trying to find the right words to respond to you. He didn’t need to say anything though because from that look alone, you got all the answers that you needed.
You slowly let go of his hands as one arm moved to wrap around his waist and the other going towards the back of his head, reeling him in closely for a foreign yet mellow embrace. His hands awkwardly stayed at his sides before they slowly and hesitantly moved to hug you back, leaning in gently to your touch as your hand led his head to the crook of your neck, allowing him to bask in the warmth you so generously offered him. For the first time in archons knows how long, Xiao felt a warm liquid spill from his eyes, staining your shirt. Your hands ruffled through his hair in an attempt to soothe him in his time of vulnerability. His hold on you was still so light, almost as if he was afraid he’d break you if he held on even tighter. The hand that ghosted over his back made its way to one of his arms and tugged at it, encouraging him to hold on as much as he needed.
“It’s okay Xiao, you can hold on tighter. I’m not as fragile as you may think. You don’t have to be scared of breaking me.” You chuckled lightheartedly.
His grip did tighten, as he began to mumble words with his face still buried at your side. Something along the lines of apologizing for snapping at you earlier. Your smile widened as you held onto him even tighter if that was possible.
Xiao knew he wasn’t perfect, he was far from it in fact. He had so many flaws and rough edges but that was okay--that’s what made him Xiao. He never understood until now why you thought he was so special and to be quite frank, he still didn’t understand, but he was determined to understand it one day. He wasn’t good like you but he wanted to start believing that he was good in his own way, wishing to truly do something that he felt was right by you in the future. Though it wouldn’t be the easiest of journeys, he was determined to do something that feared him to no end--for you. He wanted to learn how to love, how to love you even more and openly express it to you but also, learn how to love himself, just as you loved him. 
“Thank you, (Y/n).”
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yostresswritinggirl · 3 years
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It is time. This took a while but I figured I should give you guys the closure you've wanted, even tho uh it's not really a closure lmaooo. Here's the first part for the new readers!
Xiao's Personal "Chef" Travel Edition
Xiao with a Reader who is not only his Personal Chef but assistant, adventuring together
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General/Preparation
A visionless chef with an adeptus by their side, going in a routeless journey together to savor the world that had once been pulled away from their grasps.
It must be the cause of the recent ressurection and defeat of the Lord of Vortex, immobilizing him once more for thousands of years. And in the window time, there would be less worries for the Qixing and Liyue Adepti to worry about. Think of it as a day-off for the Adepti, and a vacation for you.
While you carry with you no traces of elemental blessings and an enthusiasm for swordplay, the blessed Sigil of Permission given to you by your adeptus (whom claimed it was created by Rex Lapis himself before his untimely death) grants you a special connection with Xiao.
Sadly a vacation from Liyue does not mean a break from the constant voices of demons within Xiao's mind. And you've prepared him the medicine necessary to soothe his mind even if temporary, three bottles to be exact, all of which can last him several months.
He looks at you with confusion and silent question, of which you waved away because you had prepared this batch in your room in the Inn to make sure he doesn't run out of stock.
He doesn't tell you this but lately the voices had been not intrusive while he gets distracted by your presence. Like a soothing balm, to numb the effects of the pain. It's still there but not as annoying.
Your adventure or journey usually lingers around Liyue for the first parts of it, looking around the nation to enjoy the sceneries without thinking about errands or protecting the villages from impending doom.
Xiao already uh announced his indefinite leave to the other adepti beforehand, but well, when you wanted to visit their domains, which you countered was PERFECTLY safe (almighty Sigil of Permission has lots of perks) it was a very awkward time for him upon meeting them again. It was inevitable because of the energy the sensed from Xiao and your Sigil.
"Hello again, Guardian Yaksha, were you not on leave?" "Y-Yeah... we're just... passing through"
Field trip with the Adepti!!!! Moon Carver and Mountain Shaper brought you around their domains as if to test you, like Ganyu's trials, while also flexing their achievements and who has the best domain. Humans are rare, but you are a mortal who carries the last blessed Sigil and you're tamed in the ways of the adepti because of your exposure to Xiao.
Cloud Retainer not only teaches you the glory of gliding, but she also has cute and embarrassing stories of Xiao from way back! Xiao is in the background trying not to scream or rage at the ensemble in front of him-
"He really likes collecting Qingxin flowers, always bringing one whenever he comes back from his exterminations. He even offers one to Morax everytime." "Yes, yes, such flowers grow common before, right?" "Wha- (Y/N), what do you think you're writing down in that book?!"
"The devoted that carries the last essence of Morax's powers. We've heard much about you from your adeptus, it is relieving to finally put a face to your name. Tell us, child, what is it that you seek in our domain?"
They pretty much just outted that Xiao talks about you to the others, and he- he's just so done. He's either going to hide, leave the area or pull you out of the conversation before someone *coughCloudRetainercough* starts embarrassing him in front of you.
Once you've gotten the supplies you wanted to collect from Liyue's wild lands, like flowers or ores, your little party will start going further away from the familiar nation.
Comfort on the Streets
Being the chef in the party, a lot of the time, resource collection stops you short from travelling despite the many prepped ingredients you had carried with you. There's a lot of things laying around and you just couldn't let such opportunities go. Your adoptive mother Verr had taught you to indulge in your curiousities, as a mother, as a traveler, and as a cook.
Xiao takes the brute force, the frontline of being the tank and general fighter of your band. He indulges himself with unhinged strength so long as he was sure that you were perfectly safe from his own barrage of offense. You think in the back of your mind that he's enjoying the exterminations but in his mind he indulges himself with your cheers and praises after fending off some pesky slimes that strayed too close to your temporary camp.
Xiao does not need rest and barely breaks a sweat but you're quite fragile of a human being, you still need rest and consumables, things that you had the luxury of despite working in the Inn. Here you were alone to carry your own weight and care for yourself. You look up from the boiling pot that was settled over the bright campfire to see Xiao's figure coming into view, a freshly killed boar in hand as some kind of offering for your sacred stomach.
You guess now the caring isn't one-sided.
When taking things into careful detail that requires precision and undivided attention, it seems the voices of the demons and revelled gods in the depths of his mind disappears, more so under the presence of you.
So it was the perfect opportunity now that no other errands hold you back, to teach Xiao how to make the infamous Almond Tofu.
When you teach him survival he takes into consideration everything despite the bored/blank face he dons.
Oh but he still prefers your way of cooking, he can never get the same soft texture of the jelly that you easily make.
Xiao doesn't really need to eat but he's glad to be your taste-tester for the new dishes you cook from the random, probably edible, ingredients you find here and then.
The stew continued to boil with bubbles popping despite the fire under it extinguished for a while now. It was an unnamed soup you concocted from the various seafood you've gotten from the ocean paired with the meat the adeptus hunted.
It was delicious. Despite being a palette he was not used to, it was something he can stomach. And despite the different meat mixed in, the flavours didn't clash like he thought it would but instead blended the tastes quite well. Xiao hums as he sips the soup politely, tilting the bowl as he gulps down.
"It is manageable, despite your first try, I can see this being sold in one of the restaurants in Liyue Harbour-" he turns to you as he proceeds to hold out his bowl for seconds when he stopped in his tracks, eyes slightly widening a crack at the sight of tears free falling off your chin.
The spoon on your hand was slack, eyes distant yet dilated as you silently cried. When you felt the glove of his hand cup your cheek, tilting your head to make you face him, your expression cracked to that of grief melded with forced laughter. "It's... it's just like what mum used to make." You sob, and his hand wavered from its touch.
Travelling reopened old wounds. For you and for him.
Xiao doesn't NEED sleep nor does he WANT it, despite the many times you had caught him dozing off in the middle of the day during your work at the Inn. Such occasions usually meant that there was an event that needed his aid the night prior.
Your guardian yaksha usually stays up to keep watch and when you wake up, you would find him spaced out or in the brink of passing out, desperately holding himself together
But there are other times when he feels more restless and not content with just standing guard to make sure you are protected—
Those moments are when you are held in his arms, him resting against a tree and you resting against his lean chest, travel blanket laid over the both of you. When the terrain allows it, the sleeping bag would be under your bottom and legs for extra comfort.
When you can't rest, he whips out his flute to play you a soft tune hoping to lull you to sleep. If he sinks into the comfort of the mood, he'll continue playing much softer to prevent waking you up so early
But the guardian yaksha can buckle at the temptation of comfort, a humanistic desire fuelled by the assurance that in his arms you are absolutely safe-
And you two lay under the stars in peaceful slumber. Good night~
Combat-side of Travelling
Kicking the bottom shaft of the jade spear, Xiao swiftly catches it with his other hand, a small smile aimed for himself at the expert action before he raises his eyes back at you where you lay splayed on the floor. Drenched in your own sweat and desperately breathing. A long, wooden stick discarded by your side.
You pried your eyes open when the rays of the sun suddenly stopped invading through your thin eyelids, the shadow of the Yaksha looming over your form with a rare triumphant smirk. "Yeah, yeah, I know what you're gonna say-"
"I told you so."
"Oh hush you!"
His soft laugh was melodic and it made you break a smile despite the exhaustion.
We've already established beforehand that Xiao is your main dps here and you're just support/utility. But you've expressed your desire to AT LEAST pick up some weight, asking the man to help you hone your weapon proficiency, even if you knew he'd decli-
He accepts. Oh. But it's not about swords sadly, it's for polearms. Since it's the weapon he uses, it's the only thing he can teach you.
Will be CONSIDERABLY gentle in training you compared to his massacres, and will be ever so patient so long as progress is made. Surprisingly, Xiao is actually a really good teacher, and you'd find his points to be precise and on the spot.
He'll be there on the side as you try to fight off a hydro slime for the first time, with the aid of your cheap spear you both from the nearest town over. If you get cornered, he'll be there to instantly swoop in. Fortunately you managed, and he gave an approving nod.
Despite his acceptance to teach he's not gonna let you fight actual threats because he doesn't wish to risk your safety. And you're still gonna be a hundred feet away as he does his job
If he ever managed to hurt you himself, it's... it's not gonna be good, not good at all for the both of you... luckily that hasn't happened! Uh, yet lol
Just admire him from afar, he looks pretty anyways, although the black particles that seem to surround him before the end of the fight
But he'll always come back to you, with a slight limp you always notice despite his attempts to hide, and you'll be there to heal him up
Like a knight to his princess? Or healer, more so
And the process rinses and repeats at your generally peaceful trip
"Oh, oh, I see it! Uuup there!"
His honey amber eyes follow where your fingers point, high and up against the cliff until he sees the glimpse of the swaying violetgrass. No orders needed to tell him what the objective is, but as you place your hand on his elbow when he was about to leap, you had different plans.
"Woohoo!" Please be careful, he shouts in his head as you rode the tides of his Anemo currents, gliding over to where the violetgrass awaits for your plucking hands. When the glider retracts as you grip the cliff face, you broke the stem of the flora. A eureka in your voice as you held it up like a treasure before pushing yourself off the cliffside.
The wind on your back was not harsh, carefully constructed and maneuvered as you seemingly float down into the arms of the awaiting Yaksha, as per routine of your retrieval, "Thank you!"
"Is it in good condition?" It didn't bother you that he has yet to put you down, nodding with a grin as you gently waved the perfectly grown violetgrass in your hand. Satisfied, he turns around to go back to your route when
golden, brown and white silhouettes entered your peripherals among the turn.
"Eh?"
"Ah?"
"Traveler, Paimon and Zhongli?"
"Well, it is the most intriguing that we meet again this far out and in such a circumstance, Xiao and (Y/N)."
Party gained 2 ½ members!
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I noticed upon writing that after you started travelling with Xiao, the formality in your tone of speaking started to dissipate. Easing into the comforts of your relationship with him, Xiao is relieved.
@kookieyachi @moaa @dandelion-dreams @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @snackgod @rxsalinee @cala-ran @wind-wheel @witchsungie
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sepublic · 3 years
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Is the Golden Guard a Homunculus?
           Once more bringing up the idea of the Golden Guard having a connection to Eda, while also taking several cues from Belos and being trusted by him, being a teen prodigy with magic similar to Belos’…
           I’m gonna go out on a crazy limb here, and suggest this; What if the Golden Guard is a Homunculus?
           Alchemy is a common element in fantasy, of which The Owl House is an example of. With its use of magic, glyphs, and potions, I’d be surprised if alchemy didn’t exist in the Boiling Isles, or at the very least, if it didn’t have its own equivalent; Which, the entirety of Potions magic is probably this show’s take on alchemy!  
           A homunculus is an artificial human created by alchemy, although for the purposes of this theory, the Golden Guard is an artificial witch. The fandom has talked and half-joked, half-speculated on the idea of magic being used to bypass the issue of people of the same sex being unable to produce children; Some ideas have suggested same-sex witches being able to create a child by using pieces of themselves, combined with a magical ritual or two. That is of course pure speculation; However…
           We already know Belos as someone who can create living things from magic; He’s manifested fleshy constructs, and even the Intro Worm at a whim! The Golden Guard himself can even conjure flesh from magic to transmute into a metal sword! So the idea of creating living things from magic is hardly out of the question in this show, and definitely not for Belos and the Golden Guard…
           With how the Golden Guard seems to be set up as a dark parallel to Eda, a look into the kind of person she could’ve become had she joined the Emperor’s Coven as a kid; What if the Golden Guard is a Homunculus made from pieces of various witches, among them Eda herself? We’ve all considered Eda’s lost potential, and wondered just how powerful she could’ve been, had she never been cursed and given the opportunity to fully learn and explore as she’d wished; Eda herself has wondered about it, no less…
           And Belos? He definitely seems like the type of mad scientist, low-key eugenicist who’d do this sort of thing, out of some morbid fascination, a desire to unlock true power, explore the full extent of magic; And in a way, weaponized Eda’s potential without having to deal with Eda herself, by having a Homunculus with her DNA that’s totally loyal to Belos!
          Given how the Golden Guard obviously isn’t a clone of Eda –what glimpses of his face we’ve seen, plus his gender indicate otherwise- then it’s possible that Belos has taken DNA samples from multiple subjects, the strongest witches throughout history (such as the Coven Heads and even Kikimora), with the goal of creating the most powerful witch by combining DNA from all of them! Hence, the Golden Guard as a fledgling experiment, who already proves to be rather promising, with the help of Belos’ tutelage since the very beginning.
           With this show’s dives into body horror, and the ability of Belos to conjure living things to serve him, I wouldn’t be shocked. I could totally see Belos experimenting with his magic, moving on from making animals like the Intro Worm, to a full-blown Witch! For all we know, he may have even put in a bit of his DNA as well… 
          Of course, whether or not this sample was from before, or after he became so physically messed-up, I can’t say. With the connections to both Eda and Belos, the Golden Guard being a homunculus brewed in a lab would be a way to explain those potential ties, without having to resort to a VERY gross age-gap fling that isn’t in-character for either party.
           Alternatively, the DNA sample came from Gwendolyn, who IS a member of the Beastkeeping Coven, and did give birth to Eda herself! As for the potential issues of a sample coming from Eda, who is cursed, well…
           There is that one shot from the trailer showing an owl beast with a face similar to the Golden Guard’s mask;
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           Could this be him? Did taking a piece of Eda, perhaps a strand of hair or something, result in the Golden Guard inheriting her curse? It’s also possible that the Golden Guard isn’t cursed, because Belos is able to cure such things, and unlike Eda, the Golden Guard would be loyal to him and have thus ‘earned’ that, especially since Belos wants to explore his creation’s potential. Alternatively, Belos got the Eda sample from before she was cursed; Possibly by visiting Gwen and asking if she had anything, such as a baby tooth, from Eda prior to the curse.
           Likewise, if the Golden Guard DOES contain a bit of Belos, this sample could’ve come from before Belos became so messed up… And/or, due to being young and less experimented upon, with DNA from other witches, the Golden Guard manages to still be healthy despite the presence of Belos inside of him! It is worth nothing that the Golden Guard wields magic similar to Belos, so for all we know, this fragment of the emperor is what allows him to do that, having been distorted in the same way.
          That, or Belos trusts the Golden Guard, enough to keep him privy on a bunch of secrets that the emperor normally reserved for a ‘chosen one’ such as himself; Only those selected by the Titan are worthy of this form of magic, and because Belos himself is decayed, the Golden Guard is the only viable candidate left to truly explore the full potential of this magic. Also, being a construct made of Belos’ unique magic, with his own bile sac and everything; That could explain why the Golden Guard is able to wield that same magic, because he’s made of it!
           And being made from Belos, who isn’t too physically well-off, that could be why the Golden Guard is established as tired in our first glimpse of his personality… That, and/or he’s exhausted because he’s a teen prodigy who has to do the work of an adult, and not just any adult but the right-hand man to Belos! Maybe the Golden Guard was created as a means for Belos to create a new physical body for himself, before he repurposed his homunculus as an apprentice of sorts, while possibly still keeping him as back-up host.
          Perhaps the Golden Guard was Belos’ attempt at creating witch super soldiers, of creating generations of witches by his own hand, who would be totally loyal to him; Thus keeping Belos from having to rely on families for children he doesn’t trust… And potentially freeing Belos to get rid of ALL other witches, because now he can make his own loyal ones from scratch! Belos would be the kind of person who’d want to make an army, while killing whatever he can’t control, hence the hunt for the Selkidomus.
           Plus, being made for the sole purpose of surpassing all other witches, even Belos- It could definitely add a lot more to the Golden Guard’s arrogance, but also a huge amount of pressure as well. And it’d make him feel indebted to Belos, for giving him life, for granting him such great talent and ability from the get-go, for basically writing his destiny out for him, a fate of grandeur and glory.
          As a lab creation controlled and indoctrinated since birth, influenced before birth even, with Belos’ influence ingrained into his very body- It could add to why Belos seems to trust the Golden Guard on matters even Kikimora isn’t privy about! Creating a whole kid to raise into an adult, an entire life for a single purpose, and making sure that life KNOWS that purpose and fully devotes their existence to it, because it’s literally why they exist to begin with- Not exactly something I’d put past Belos!
           Plus, for Eda; The Golden Guard could act as a disturbing mirror for her. Not just in the kind of person she could’ve been, but as a harsh reminder of the magical potential and power she could’ve had, had she never been cursed; And again of the magic she completely lost, when the curse reached its worst limits. It’d be a way to haunt Eda at a point when she’s lost her magic, by dangling what could’ve and should’ve been; It’s like a ghost and a specter for those who have mourned or wondered Eda’s lost potential.
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Weight of the World (1 & 2)
Patches interacts with the NPCs of Firelink Shrine, while an abusive Ashen One is away.
Every now and again the familiar sound of armour clunking up the worn stone stairs of the shrine would stir Patches from thought. They would approach him with a silent glare and voicelessly inquire about his inventory and would either purchase something, much to Patches’ delight, or would abruptly walk away, followed by his belittling words.
There was a period of time the Ashen One didn’t return for an unusually long time, and in that time Patches watched the drifters from his perch, high above in the shrine. It was amusing to watch the blind bird with snowy white hair and long ash-stained robes stumble around the shrine and stub her toes on the steps and walls. She would let out a breathy squeak each time she gently collided with something, feel around with her arms and finally take her place somewhere. No one spoke with her directly, all except the Ashen One, but there was one time Patches did descend from his perch to interact with her.
The Fire Keeper sat along the steps of the inner circular shrine, fiddling with a loose strand of thread from her robes and quietly hummed to herself. Upon hearing the shuffling of greaves, she lifted her head and called out, “Welcome home, Ashen One.”
But her small smile faltered. “Ah, thine footfalls art lighter than mine Ashen One.”
Her observation took Patches by surprise, considering he was taller and no doubt heavier than the Ashen One. He looked down at his outfit and realized it was the iron greaves and boots he wore that gave him that clunky armour sound, but the fabric shirt he wore on his torso and nothing else helped his footsteps sound lighter.
Patches let out a chuckle. “Huh. Not very blind for a blind girl, are we?”
The Fire Keeper visibly recoiled. “Thoust a wicked one; begone.”
“Aw, now, now,” he crouched low before her, levelling his eyes to where hers used to be. “what has that horrid Ashen Tart been telling you?”
“They told’th me of thy trickster ways, and how thee would betray thy own compatriots.”
“Trickster?” Patches couldn’t help the manic grin growing on his face. “Oh, absolutely. Spot on, in fact. Now, what’s all this about betraying my friends?” He mimicked a hurt tone. “I would never do such a thing, bird.”
“I don’t believe thee. I am told’th thee did cast mine Ashen One’s true friend down a well, and that yond thee donn’d his armour and pretended to be him.”
Patches playfully shrugged, not that the Fire Keeper could see it. “Alright, I admit, I did that. And how remarkably easy it was to get him to strip that laughable armour off - but I digress. Old boy and I made up. We’re all friends now!”
She didn’t fully believe that he made amends with the poor, jolly knight, but his truthful admittance is what caused the Fire Keeper to ease her suspicions of him… for now.
She craned her head to look up at him. Patches whistled and gave a little wave, and her head followed the sound to look straight ahead. She jumped slightly in surprise.
“Thou art a solitary being. What mad’eth thee come down hither?”
“Oh,” Patches rubbed the back of his bald head. “I had enough of being a fly on the wall to the goings on here. Thought I’d come down,” the Fire Keeper could hear the grin on the face in his tone. “stir up some trouble.”
The Fire Keeper’s lips contorted to a grimace of disgust. “Is’t within thy nature to disturb the delicate balance of those who seek’th solace hither?”
“Hear me now, bird,” he said. “I ain’t the one to meddle where his nose don’t belong. You’re better off giving that question to your beloved Ashen Tart.”
“Just as thee has’t nay business stripping yond po’r knight of his armour, and disturbing our contenders.”
The toothy, almost malicious, grin fell from Patches’ face for a moment, before awkwardly chuckling, “Not one to pick up on sarcasm, are you? I didn’t actually mean I’d cause trouble-“
From her seat on the semi-eroded stone steps, the Fire Keeper stood to her full height. Not as tall as Patches, her figure and aura possessed a cursed air around her, and managed to send a fright through the tall pale man. “Thou shan’t spread any mischief whilst thou take’th shelter in the shrine, lest thou wishes to face wrath.”
Patches held up his hands in defense. “Alright, alright! I read you - loud and clear!”
Satisfied with his answer, the Fire Keeper took her seat once more on the eroded steps. “Then thou art most welcomed.”
But Patches remained to stare down at the Fire Keeper. After several, silent moments passed, the Fire Keeper’s idle humming halted. “Oh, does’t the vagrant have more to say?”
“Yeah.” His light and spirited tone evaporated to a dour mood. “I see a lot that goes on here.”
“Oh?” The Fire Keeper entertained him.
“And I see how that Tart treats you.” He said with a vindictive tone. “The way they slap you around with every new shiny toy they find. You don’t have to take that.”
At his confrontational language, the Fire Keeper recoiled slightly. “I am surprised thee care enow to approach’th me, but it doest not matter, for I cannot die so easily.”
Patches huffed at her complacent attitude of remaining nothing more but a servant to the next Lord, and a training dummy. “Death doesn’t matter much, but you’ve still got feelings. How’d that last beheading feel? Not great, eh?”
The Fire Keeper pursed her lips, and remained silent for a moment, before speaking in a quieter voice, “I… Mine own feelings matter not. I understand’th mine place in the ordinary; what mine fate hast becometh.”
Patches went to speak, but the soft, shaky voice of the Fire Keeper kept his words at bay. She clutched at the worn fabric of her ash-stained sleeves. “Wicked One,” she sounded pained. “prithee, grant me solitude.”
He hesitated, staring as she drew herself inward, but he knew when it was time to leave well enough alone. Wordlessly he stepped away, interested in the dark figure in armour that resembled a gargoyle peeking from the archway to spy down below, further into the shrine.
But the Fire Keeper called quietly after Patches. “Thy concern is appreciated, O Wicked One.”
-
Eygon of Carim - a knight dressed in armour that resembled some sort of horrific creature - watched a pale maiden, wrapped up in creams and whites, from above. Irina, the one Eygon was so devoted to, sat upon what seemed to be the only dry patch of stone in the moist darkness of the shrine’s lowest floor.
Patches had seen him before. He entered the shrine to visit her from afar a few times, merely to silently observe and see if she was alright in the care of the Ashen One. Once satisfied, he would sulk around the outside of the shrine before taking off somewhere else.
This visit didn’t seem to be like his others, Patches noticed from where he spoke with the Fire Keeper. Eygon moved slow and carefully, as not to disturb the joints in his armour too much. He didn’t call out to her, didn’t engage or make himself known. He stood in the shadows, spying on the poor blonde girl. Patches had no issue playing along with Eygon’s silent act.
It was after a few more moments of peering down at the nun, who slowly swayed her head and hummed, that Eygon stepped away from the arch and crossed his arms.
“What business have you to bother me?” His deep, rumbling voice flowed from the open mouth of the gargoyle helmet he wore. “Go kiss someone else’s ass. I’m not in the mood for your foolery.”
Patches tilted his head and smirked at the Carim knight. He knew exactly what that tone meant; he was defensive. Like he was caught in the act of doing something he’s ashamed of. “Know of me,” Patches kept his voice quiet, much like the knight’s own voice. “wittol?”
A low growl resounded from within Eygon. “You’ve made a number of enemies. Seems like you’re in the market for another one.” Eygon reached behind him, never moving his head from gazing at Patches, for his atrociously large hammer that leaned into the corner he stood in.
But there was something about Carim knights that Patches was intimately familiar with. Rude, crass and as prickly as they were, not often did they enact wrath upon others who caused petty offense.
Patches crossed his arms and shrugged. “All you knights with your maidens you’re all so devoted to - how’s a bloke not to think you don’t slave over her feet? But not you, eh?”
Patches stepped quietly, closer to the archway to gaze down at the nun, Irina. He pulled himself back to face Eygon. “Not with an evil creature like that.”
“Obvious, isn’t it?” Eygon whispered. “A pitiful failure. Nothing but an attraction to perverse darkness, but even a woman cursed as her deserves her dignity. Begone.”
Unbothered, Patches complied. “Alright, then. No sense in talking to you. Your lady down there,” Patches had begun to make his way towards the stairs that descended lower into the shrine. “seems more apt for conversation. Maybe I’ll-“
Eygon slammed his impossibly large hammer down dangerously close to Patches, kicking up clouds of ash and debris. His hammer shook the ground, and sent an ear-shattering bang echoing throughout the shrine.
“You won’t touch her.” Eygon seethed, lifting his head to stare directly into Patches’ eyes. “Not without a fight.”
“Ashen One?”
A soft voice called out, just loud enough for both men to hear. “Ashen One,” she called again. “is that you?”
Eygon hoisted the hammer back up the rest against his shoulder. “No, my lady. It’s only me.” He spoke louder towards the archway.
“Oh, Eygon,” her voice lifted in tone and sounded much happier than the dreary inquiry she had before. “it’s been so long since you came to visit me. Won’t you come here, please?”
Patches noticed the subtle way Eygon’s form turned frigid. A grin formed across his face, turning upwards in a most evil way. “What’s wrong? Don’t all you Carim knights dream of ravishing your lady? Or, is it that you’re right scared of her?” Patches purposefully forced out a laugh that dripped with venom. “Oh mate, you should’ve stopped being scared of the dark when you were a kid.”
“Say what you wish,” Eygon threatened in a low tone. “but I will kill you. Not now, but upon our next meeting I’ll separate the flesh from your oversized head. You’ll have wished you’d eaten your words.”
Eygon pushed past Patches, making sure to collide his armoured shoulder with his, and descended the stairs to where Irina spent her days.
Patches watched, silently above, in the shadow of the stone archway. The dark knight firmly planted the top of his hammer onto the ground, before kneeling before the pale nun. “What is it you needed, Irina?”
“Touch me, please.” Irina held up her hand in the blank space in front of her. “I- I have tremendous news.”
Eygon stared at the warm, soft palm Irina offered to him. She appeared simply angelic; the lit candles beside her created a heavenly glow around her in the dark, but all Eygon saw was the amplified darkness that plagued her eternally. He didn’t move, and was silent for too long.
Patches noticed his hesitation had turned into an uncertain withdrawal. It was clear to Patches now: this knight wasn’t just scared, he was terrified of her.
“Eygon? Where have you gone?” Irina’s outstretched arm faltered, but at his name, Eygon answered.
“I am here.” He pressed the palm of his gauntlet against her’s, and Irina’s fingers closed around his hand, feeling the intricacies of the design.
“It is you.” Irina whispered. “I am… I am glad it’s you. This Ashen One, he gave me a tome that felt most terrible against my fingers.”
Eygon stiffened. “Tell me you did not read it.”
Irina shook her head, and gave her knight a demure smile. “I did not. A woman - a witch - stopped me before I could. She guided my hand to a tome that tickled me with its radiance.” She gave a quiet, gleeful chuckle. “It’s bountiful light seems to have staved off the darkness that nibbles upon me. Perhaps my path towards becoming a Fire Keeper is not lost.”
A Fire Keeper. This information surprised Patches. He had assumed she was nothing more but a broken nun - a dirty cleric, but she was nothing of the sort.
“Eygon,” she started. “I know my curse wards you away from me, but the darkness is not in my presence. May I touch your skin?”
“...Are you so certain you feel the absence of the dark? Remember my oath to you.”
“I remember clearly. No, it seems gone. I feel positively elated.”
It was true that her smile turned up more than usual, and a healthy flush was present in her cheeks. Eygon pulled his hand away from hers to unclip the clasps of his gauntlet, and pulled it off to reveal his bare flesh. Experimentally, he placed only the pads of his fingertips against hers, then slowly enveloped her hand in his.
Irina let out a breathy gasp. “Oh, oh Eygon, you are so warm. I never could have imagined you felt this way. I can only wonder what you may look like.”
Patches grimaced at the sickly sweet scene unfold before him, and stepped away before he became a witness to the lovelorn fools’ potential union. Lovers were items that already made his stomach twist in knots, but secret lovers? He nearly vomited at the thought. There was one thing that stuck with him through all of that snooping; the corruption the new Fire Keeper nearly fell to by way of the Ashen One.
Perhaps the world could have done well with the loss of one more holy person, but the loss of a fire attendee? No, Patches knew where his hatred began and ended, and this betrayal was another strike against the Ashen One for him.
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haravath0t · 3 years
Text
Maybe It’s Time
Pairing: a bit of Steve x Reader, but leaning towards Bucky x Reader in the end
Warning: angst, fluff in the end! Feelings...
A/N: So... another comfort fic... gotta thank @world-of-aus for helping me on this one! Bucket, thank you for literally being a real one and helping me through it all! I owe you so much girl! It’s been a hard one for me as of late folks, so this one kinda feels like a comfort fic to me personally. Kinda out of the blue, but as always, writing seems to be my escape. So for all who are going through something, I hope you know I am here for you and I am willing to lend an ear for you guys! I hope you all seek a bit of comfort through this one shot! Enjoy! 
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Bucky’s eyes gently opened, hearing something coming from the other room. Something that has to have become a regular thing for him now for a long while. Your piano playing. 
He recognized this piece more than ever: Debussy’s Clair de Lune.
He sat up gently on the edge of the bed, grunting softly while Alpine softly purred as she stirred herself awake. It was raining; a soft pitter patter of the rain falling against the glass windows accompanied with your soft playing would have been enough to have kept him asleep, his nightmares slowly fading away and going into the wonderful dreams that he had once dreamt of. However, tonight’s playing was different, for the once playful, joyous, and thoughtful tunes coming from those black and white keys have been melancholic for quite a while. Too long of a while. Tonight, something within Bucky Barnes compelled him to do something different from these previous nights. Rather than admire your playing from afar, letting your emotions run wild by yourself, he’ll make his presence known. 
Alpine meowed, watching her owner slowly put on his fuzzy slippers (courtesy of you) before she fell asleep. Bucky smiled sleepily, giving her one more pet before quietly making his way out of his room, and into the dark living room in your guys’ shared floor. The sight in front of him definitely reflected Clair de Lune: beautiful, yet filled with emotion, filled with sorrow. It hurt him even more to know just why you were hurting.
You were restless. You were critical. You tried, you fought, you pushed, you pulled. 
Yet it was never enough.
At the end of the day, you got hurt. You were thrown away, rendered useless to someone who you loved deeply and passionately. Someone who you devoted yourself to, thinking they’d dedicate themselves in the same manner. You remember that day clearly, feelings still fresh from a year ago.
You were still wrapping your head around the fact that you were part of the half who disappeared in the blip. However, thoughts were brushed aside as he smiled softly at you as Bruce got everything ready, coming towards you as you returned the smile on your face. You wrapped your arms around him, your soft eyes looking at him with love and devotion, as it always had. “Be careful,” you whisper into his lips with a smile. “I will, Y/N… don’t you worry.” He says with a smile nuzzling his nose against yours. “I just wanna ensure your safety, for your sake,” You reply with a giggle. “My sake or yours?” He questions with a much bigger smile. “How about we settle with both?” You whisper, your giggles ringing in Steve’s ears. He couldn’t help the long and loving kiss that was shared between the both of you before he went off to the platform. 
You watched your boyfriend, standing in his suit, Mjolnir in one hand and the case of the Infinity Stones in the other, standing in the middle of the platform with a determined look on his face. You smiled even more, for Steve Rogers, being himself, has managed to save the world once again with the Avengers. You smiled alongside Bucky and Sam who were watching him disappear out of sight. “And returning in 5… 4… 3… 2...1…” Bruce counts down, only for you three to see no one back on the platform. You began to worry. Did something go wrong? What happened? Is he okay? 
Your mind was laden with panic and it wasn’t until you saw a figure sitting alongside the lake, shield propped up next to him. Confusion laced your worried features, but the two men knew. Sam talked to him as you looked on in shock, mind still connecting things together. You shook your head in denial as you saw a wedding ring on his finger. At that moment you knew.
You weren’t enough.
You slowly made your way, deciding to be strong, heart wrenching when you saw this once burly, blond man now with wrinkles, haggard, and with a wedding ring. 
“Y/N,” he says, but you cut him off, forcing a smile on your face, forcing your tears to not fall down. 
“N-no. It’s okay… I.. I get it… I’m.. I’m happy for you, Steve.”
You hated it. You hated having to have your hand held by him one last time, a squeeze of hands quietly speaking of the terms that you both are now on. You were never his. Never. Peggy remained his one and true love that beat time and space. And who were you to argue? She rightfully gained her place. Maybe it was time for you to accept the fact that there was no room for you in Steven Grant Rogers’ life. 
But that didn’t stop the hurt that still clouds your mind and thoughts. The remembrance of the hurt and the deception on your side of the story was still fresh. The repeat of the memory merely adds salt to your still fresh wounds. It’s been inside you since then, the neverending ache courses through you. So you play. You play the grand piano and its keys with your heart out on your sleeve not caring for the sobs that leave your lips, hands gracefully touching the keys of the piano, a slow crescendo coming in as the feelings of hurt slowly grow. Your eyes stay shut as your left hand starts to move more and more, right hand playing chords and the sorrowful melody. By the time the climax of the song arrives, you are sobbing even more than before, body shaking as the pain takes on a more tangible form on your piano. Your head is swirling, your body feeling like it was going to float, you were so clouded in your mind, until a particular man with a metal arm sat quietly next to you, putting you back in your space, where you currently were.  
However, you stopped dead in your tracks, embarrassed that your best friend had caught you in this particular moment, so your eyes try their hardest to remain on the keys. You already knew that his ocean blue ones were staring at you. His metal hand carefully rests upon your right hand, lightly interlocking his fingers with yours. 
“I’m not over it either,” he whispers in your ear.
Again, you cry, turning your body slightly to cling to his figure. Cries slowly turn into sobs. Hugging Bucky for dear life, you said the things that have been in your head for so long. 
“B-Buck.. Why did he leave?! Why?! And when we just came back?! Why Peggy, Buck?! What does she have that I don’t?! What has our time together meant to him?! Is it because I’m not as skinny as her?! Is she smarter than me? Is she funnier? More humorous? Is she kinder? Is she-”
Bucky felt the same way. He knew how you felt. He felt that way about the punk too. He wasn’t thinking of Captain America, but Steve. The little kid from Brooklyn, the same guy who had asthma, who put newspapers in his shoes, who hid an extra key under a brick. He felt like he lost his place too. However, he knew how you felt was just as bad. He understood you. It pained him to see you crying. Admittedly enough, he only hoped that you look beautiful in his eyes despite your sobs and tears. A literal angel, he’d think to himself. Unfortunate that he can’t teach his best friend a thing or two about taking care of his girl. You were in pain for so long.
His hands cupped your wet cheeks and slowly wiped the tears with his thumbs, a tiny smile when he feels you relax to his touch, kissing your forehead to further soothe you. “Steve doesn’t know what was in front of the whole time, sweetheart,” he whispers. 
“He did… apparently I’m only a substitute till there was a way. That’s all I am to anyone. A substitute.”
“I never thought of you that way.” He admits quietly, so quietly, that only you both can hear, causing you to look up at him in surprise. “H-Huh? But…” “I said what I said, Y/N… I mean it. You were, are, and always will be such a sweet, kind, and beautiful dame. There’s no kind like you anywhere here, not even Peggy or anyone for that matter can replicate what you have sweetheart. So who cares who’s skinnier? Who cares if one is more funny? In the end of the day, we knew you did all you could. It hurts. I know. But, you’re gonna have that one guy who is gonna treat ya like no man ever could. I’ll make sure of that.” He whispers, looking at you dead in the eyes with understanding and love in his eyes. A small smile finally kisses your face. Not a fake one, but a small genuine one. One that only someone like James Buchanan Barnes would notice. “That’s my girl.” He whispers and smiles, hugging you once again.
He pulls away, starting to play the first few notes of Clair de Lune, eyes carefully watching yours, an invitation. You shyly joined in, allowing yourself to take your place and playing a part. You and James couldn’t help the smile that goes on your faces as it starts to progress. You watched as both his flesh and metal hand graced the keys effortlessly, nicely paired along with yours as they also graced the keys, completing this song’s melody. What was wreaking of pain and sorrow turned pensive, calming, even providing a form of resolution. You guys smiled as you both played your notes louder and louder the two of you effortlessly mirroring each other, no need to say the dynamic, the mood, the notes to play, it was all unplanned, yet it still sounded beautiful. A giggle leaves your mouth, another genuine one for the first time, which causes Bucky to smile big, happy to see you smiling again. He watches as your guys’ fingers glide through the keys, hands sometimes weaving in and out harmoniously, never causing extra struggle. 
“Thank you, James… I really really feel better after all of that” you say softly, letting yourself nuzzle your face into his torso, hugging the super soldier tightly. “You always know what to say to me. You always know what to do. Always have. Thank you,” You whisper, smiling softly as the man tightens his hold on you. You both chuckled when a yawn now leaves your lips, resulting in Bucky scooping you up bridal style. “Not a problem, sweetheart. I’m always gonna be here. M’not going anywhere I promise.” He says softly, yet in a determined tone. He vowed to himself no matter where he stood in your life, he was gonna make sure you were loved and cared for. He always wanted that for you. Always looked at you in a way he never thought he’d look at a woman. Even today the way he perceived you was the same: a kind, beautiful, giving, and optimistic person who was kind to anyone but herself. “Why don’t we get you to bed, huh? I think you deserve this to say the least.” He says softly, making his way through the hallway into your bedroom. 
“A-Actually. Do you think I can just lay with you tonight?” You ask shyly. You felt comfortable in his arms. He made you feel warm, protected. You didn’t want to let that go. Not now. Of course, Bucky could not say no, so he carried you to his room, where you both met a sleeping Alpine perched on her cute tower. You smiled as he laid you down gently before he laid next to you, an arm wrapped around your waist. “Thank you, Buck…you know I’m grateful for you,” you murmured sleepily, nuzzling into the crook of his neck and relaxing. Bucky only smiled and rubbed your back for comfort. “Never forget I’ll do anythin’ for you sweetheart. Promise.” He whispers, sleep taking over him a bit quicker than a normal night. You smiled as you watched his breathing steady out, knowing he was asleep. You couldn’t help the grin from ear to ear before you slept yourself. It will take a while for this pain of yours to end, but… maybe, just maybe it’s time for you to stop looking at what’s behind and what’s beyond. Maybe it’s time for you to rediscover your worth, who you can love and who can love you.  Maybe it’s time that you trust yourself, for you are worth it all and you alone is a good enough reason to live your life as it should. And maybe, just maybe… you’ll see where the brunette man with a metal arm in front of you will stand in your life. Just one step at a time and one day at a time, you tell yourself as you slowly drift into dreamland. However, you were happy, for this was the first night you felt like you were enough, and felt that hope that used to reside in your heart. For once in a long time, you didn’t feel the weight in your heart anymore, for behind you, Bucky Barnes was right behind you carrying it right with you.
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