#so enjoy uh. one of my chronologically First memories'

[kid--stardust]

sorta trying something out

#my art #this is autobiographical #i was reading Gender Queer: a Memoir by Maia Kobabe #and it. well sorta inspired me to try drawing autobiography comics #that and having read stitches when i was littler #so enjoy uh. one of my chronologically First memories' #in a real loose sketchy style because i was MAYBE 1 year old #it's. kind of depressing this was my first memory #this won't be boosted later #it's just being posted somewhere #sorry for my bad handwriting lol

[radellama]

Resi Reviews pt3

Well, it’s been a little bit, huh? The first thing I wanna say is… I kinda fucked this up. Just a little bit.

See, I played both the Revelations games in 2022, but I put off writing about them because only writing two entries- both of which I felt luke-warm towards at best -seemed underwhelming. I was playing one of the Wii shooters with my sibling, but we never ended up finishing it, and new year’s came around. Then, suddenly, RE4R released, and I caved and bought it to play, taking notes all the while. And well, I figured I’d just write about all three and bundle them into this year’s Resi post- and here’s where I fucked up.

I only started using my new notes system this year (2023). So I’m running on memory for games I played 2 years ago now… And then one game I have ridiculously in depth notes for.

Don’t get me wrong, my memory is pretty decent, so I had no doubt I’d get the gist across for a review when I started writing – BUT……….. Since I leveled up my note-taking and go even more in depth with my new system, the Rev reviews may feel a bit more glossed over compared to RE4R. I have quickly studied the games and their plot again to jog my memory, and booted up the games to replay the first few chapters- everything short of a full replay. But yeah. I fucked up by putting it off for a whole year longer than I intended. Lol. Normal warning for surface level to mid range spoilers, and I’ll make a note of when I go deeper than that.

Anyway, here they are. Enjoy.

~~

Resident Evil Revelations, PS4

Well. This uh. This certainly is a Resi Game.

I played this on PS4, but found out pretty quick into playing that it was originally made for the 3DS. This is noticeable not only by the strange gimmicks along with simple and somewhat sparse level design, but also by the fact that the story is presented episodically. Viewing it in the context of it being a game designed for handhelds, ok, fine, I guess a more pick up and play style would have some benefits from a chapter recap as you play. However, the levels aren’t very long, and it was almost immediately tiresome to see a reel of what I’d just played at the start of new chapters. And boy, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I wanted to like this game so bad, and it almost had me, but ultimately, I can’t really say I favour it.

One thing I will give some credit to right away, is the setting of this game. Most of it takes place on a cruise ship, the Queen Zenobia, and it has a stronger focus on the slower paced survival horror style of gameplay- especially compared to games in the main numbered series at the time that were becoming increasingly action focused. The idea of being trapped on a ship with a bunch of bioweapons for enemies is a confronting and scary setting, and this game certainly had its moments. While you’re on the ship, the waves are simulated by a slow and constant dutch angle rocking back and forth. While this is a cool choice stylistically, I found myself motion sick fairly quickly when playing on the tv (which got me wondering if I’d feel as sick playing on handheld as intended, but I’m sensitive to these sorts of things regardless). Generally, the gameplay itself was fine, but the plot… oh, the plot…

It is So. Fucking. Messy.

It has the dumbest ‘twists,’ and a frankly awful and confusing presentation of cast and plot. The chapters aren’t chronologically presented, which isn’t necessarily a detriment- if done well. But, with how convoluted things get, I think this was a shit choice. Not only were there certain characters I couldn’t recognise were the same person across different time periods, I just plain ol’ couldn’t keep up with certain character motivations and was left with a confused expression for a majority of my playthrough.

See, in the greater Resi timeline, this game is a little after Chris and Jill have founded the BSAA – their solution to counter bioterrorism, post RE3. There’s some fucked up bioterrorism going on at an… artificially floating island, named Terragrigia- that is self sustained by it’s advanced solar energy network. Then, when it’s infested with bioweapons, some guy makes the decision to vaporise the island and destroy it. Some characters speculate on whether this was an inside job or something- but honestly, these flashbacks/history settings are so terrible that I honestly cannot follow. I have played the game myself, watched other playthroughs/lore recaps as refreshers (both while playing originally and now for this write up lol) and just generally read up on the wikis, IT STILL MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE TO ME. Pair this with the fact that Jill is paired with a bland, knock off Barry Burton, and Chris is paired with a one-note, oversexed, homebrand version of Jill… UGH!!! It feels like they can’t focus on or commit to anything! The plot bounces all over the fucking place, setting up things that are seemingly there just to waste your time and fuck with you. I don’t find this kind of thing fun or enjoyable, and it’s a great example of what I mean when I say something feels like it’s punishing you for paying attention.

So, the Terragrigia thing is just the backdrop (that’s honestly not enough to justify how much they harp on about it imo) to set up the fact that Chris has gone missing. His signature was lost in the middle of the ocean, and some middle-aged man tasks Jill and Parker (homebrand Barry) with going out to find him. The first chapter is the two of you arriving on the boat, and investigating to try and find Chris. There’s signs of bioterrorism, and there are even a few recent victims that were killed moments before Jill or Parker could do anything to help. This was a pretty good introduction, and I liked it! It set the scene, showed off the unique and claustrophobic setting of being on a boat in the middle of the ocean, and it genuinely felt like a return to survival horror despite keeping the ots action shooter setup when fighting. It was a much slower pace, creeping around the derelict halls of a once grand cruise ship, with the occasional jump from this game’s ‘zombie.’ I remember the first time playing through this section, I was thinking that it was an interesting choice, and generally looking forward to what was going to happen… But that engagement didn’t last long, as it’s immediately destroyed by it’s shit pacing and storytelling.

The next section of the same chapter is a flashback to just before Jill and Parker get sent out to find Chris, and you’re just on some gross beach with a bunch of beached bioweapon corpses. This section exists SOLELY as a tutorial on how to use the scanning thingy, which could’ve been integrated into the hand-holdy intro sections on the boat more seamlessly. If you’ve already got little cues that tell you to hold L2 to aim and R2 to shoot, what’s so bad about having a prompt during a close encounter with a bioweapon saying hold L1 to aim and R1 to scan? You can even have Parker just say some shit like, “Scan this thing, I’ll keep it distracted!” Cue button prompts, scan completed, kill the thing, maybe make a comment on how their boss will be glad for the info and to keep an eye out for more shit to scan. WHY does there need to be an entire sequence that grinds all momentum to a halt because you’re jumping back and forth in time within the SINGLE CHAPTER. It just gets worse, and I’m going to TRY and keep it brief, cause I seriously get pissed off thinking about this game for too long lmao.

Turns out, Chris wasn’t on this ship, and now Jill and Parker haven’t been able to be contacted since they went looking for him. Chris is suddenly able to be contacted, and he along with Jessica (homebrand sex appeal) were actually in some snowy mountains, and are now going to try track down Jill and Parker. You bounce between these two plot lines, AND a third where some ragtag duo go out to the same places other characters have been to, (but not at the same time as them, it’s before or after) and just do general recon or something. That’s three character povs to keep track of, not to mention the secondary characters that are supposedly important AND all the bouncing around between times. STOP IT! JUST PICK A FUCKING THING AND COMMIT TO IT. SO MUCH OF THIS GAME COULD’VE BEEN GENUINELY GREAT TO PLAY AS A RETURN TO FORM, BUT YOU FUCKED IT UP WITH THIS INCONSISTENT SHIT! IT IS PURE SLOP!! IT IS NOT FUN TO PLAY OR FOLLOW ALONG WITH AND WHOEVER WAS DIRECTING OR FORCIBLY ADDING THIS SHIT IN NEEDED A SLAP ON THE WRIST AND A FEW HOURS IN A TIME OUT CORNER TO ACTUALLY THINK ABOUT WHAT THE HELL THEY WERE DOING. If I can’t really communicate the gist of this game in ONE paragraph, let alone multiple, something has gone terribly wrong. I admit I get more heated over this kind of thing, as I am someone who cares very much about the narrative and presentation of stories- and spend a lot of time crafting my own stories to make sure that they are interesting and understandable. I KNOW how hard it can be to create a game, or a film, or a written text- ANYTHING. I have been working in teams and on my own to create stuff for YEARS at an indie level, and have an understanding of the industry level too. I’m not just saying this to bitch and moan, I’m saying it because I care and would expect the same criticism if the things I made were getting this out of hand!

Anyway!

There are more plot points that set up some shit about the cult (?) that started the bioterrorist attack on Terragrigia, as they’re the ones that have lured the BSAA to the boat in the middle of the ocean- and how there’s double crossers amongst them. Whatever. I don’t care. Nothing makes a lick of sense, and it’s hard to find any justification to play like this. Jill is the best and I like Chris fine enough, so it should’ve been reeeeaaal easy to set up at least one of them to have the best plot thread or gameplay in the game. But no. I actually found myself getting the most enjoyment out of two side characters named Quint and Keith.

Quint. And Keith.

Two guys who the designers apparently put so much effort into, making visual choices like ‘epic tattoos to show that he’s cool’ and ‘has a slightly larger head than usual to show that he is smart.’ They have a cool soundtrack during their sections, and they’re dorky as hell, but idk man. Amongst all this slop and just... Bland or irritating personalities for Chris and Jill to bounce off of- these two had so much more of a tangible personality and chemistry to them, so their parts are some of the more memorable that I played. And I still didn’t care that much, cause it felt like I was playing a different game during their sections. I think, looking back on it, their sections are fine; but it seemed better because it was sandwiched between two other things that were a lot more tedious. Chris and Jill had their moments too, but I’m honestly struggling to recount anything that isn’t fighting the same pale looking gloop bioweapons on a boat. Even the incessant ‘last time on resident evil’ recaps didn’t help, as there was just too much going on and nothing was actually clear!! Even in a recap!!! And, the whole cult thing is just… eugh. They quote Dante’s Inferno a lot, but none of the quotes used felt particularly fitting to what was going on- rather, that it was being referenced for the auto fellatio that it truly was. This game thinks it’s a lot clever-er than it is, and I often found the reveals or ways the story was explaining things was presented in a smarmy and almost condescending way. IF the story was presented well enough, these things wouldn’t have come across in such a negative way; especially because there is nothing smart going on here. If there was more care and effort put into making the story interesting, yet still mysterious- scaling back all the unnecessary wank and just focusing on one or two core plot points, that branch out into a few subplots or side info, and really hone in on what is motivating these characters instead of leaning into cliches… There could’ve been a REALLY great game here. Instead, all this convoluted crap has blended together into a forgettable mess, which is a massive shame.

Anyway, to finish retelling the plot... It’s just shit. Turns out Jill and whoever weren’t even on the right boat to begin with because there was a twin ship and whatever. It takes ages for Chris and Jill to reunite, and it is genuinely nice when they get to team up near the end- but the whole mess with the cult who kidnapped them is annoying and frankly boring, and the grand reveals at the end didn’t actually reveal much. It was an inside job to try get more funding for the BSAA or some shit, and it went a bit sideways. Some bland middle aged man is the true evil behind it all, and that’s just so interesting and thought provoking because who would’ve guessed that the random late 40s white guy with no personality would be the big bad pulling the strings, especially when it’s easy to forget who he is.

HOW BORING.

It’s all just an honest let down, especially when they forced us to play through so many sequences IN THE TERRAGRIGIA PANIC… WHO FUCKING CARES!!! ITS JUST SHOOTY SHOOT BANG BANG AND I DON’T CARE!!! I’VE COME HERE TO PLAY RESI, NOT COD!!! Also, if it wasn’t annoying enough to have been duped into playing the same fucking maps twice, but with Chris and Jill, and scratching your head wondering why these seemingly parallel events aren’t interacting with each other, only to have it slammed on you that nothing in this story matters or makes any sense- I found two characters particularly miserable.

Our two.. uh.. protagonsists? Antagonists? Double crosser- no, wait. TRIPLE CROSSERS. Jessica and Raymond. Tbh, Raymond is simply a victim of shitty writing and characterisation, as he was trapped in some stupid fucking contrivances and misleading moments. I found him frustrating due to how many times he’s set up to be a blatant double crosser, but with just enough leeway to maaaaybe not be. He’s a bit standoffish and hostile, which doesn’t help his case, but it’s disappointing because just as he was finally getting interesting towards the end, its fucked up with a double-cross-turned-triple-cross for one final moment of ‘huh???’ that kind of undoes anything for him. His character motivations are so sloppy and didn’t make sense to me. Is he for or against the cult? What does he gain from this? Why is he part of this whole mess? Nothing is clear, not even the way he acts as you interact with him on the ship. It’s a shame too, as during one of the flashback sequences to the Terragrigia incident, he was wounded pretty badly and Parker had to help him to safety. He seemed pretty disillusioned by it all, and was already questioning if it was an inside job or not- which is a pretty good setup for if he WAS going to be a double agent for either side, depending on which one appealed to him the most. Instead, he just feels like a let down, and is constantly hanging around in the peripheral of everything as a permanent red-haired herring.

Jessica is one that grated me more, however, and I feel like its a triple whammy of the shit writing, oversexed and wildly different outfits she has, and the fact that she’s with you through half the game when you play as Chris, so you can’t escape her. She’s supposed to be a coy, flirtatious and danger seeking babe- but it came across to me as a desperate, attention seeking wreck who prioritised trying to get a reaction out of Chris over their mission. Like, hello? She complains near the end about Chris not getting the hint, as she’s been annoyingly suggestive with him- and the first thought I had was, ‘girl, why didn’t YOU get the hint?’ Chris has never really had any romantic inclinations explored or depicted in the games, and while he’s on missions, he’s very much focused on the mission. Why he’d make an exception for you, Jessica, I don’t know. I also didn’t like how she changed looks so drastically between time periods, in the past she has a bob cut, and in the present mission she has very long wavy hair. I know people in real life can have very different haircuts over the years, (I know I certainly have), but for a game… Being able to know who someone is, is actually really important. Instead of worrying about how to make her oh so cute (in a way I can’t help but feel seems distinctly from the gaze of a group of horny middle-aged men…) I think they should’ve focused on a specific character motif, and kept it similar to how we see her in the present so that it reduces confusion. There are three main costumes she wears across the story, and each time I thought it was a new woman. And don’t get me started on the goddamn fucking wetsuit. A WHOLE leg, AND ass cheek, out for the world to see… You literally work against bioterrorism. Yknow, the thing where if you make contact with the wrong stuff, you’ll become a monster???? Let’s just… leave a whole leg and half my ass out for the bioweapons to have a cheeky nibble on. That’s going to be really cool for this mission. I have the same thoughts about Jill practically having her tits bulging out of her wetsuit, and think her wetsuit is wayyy more sexed up compared to her male co-workers, but at least she doesnt have an ass cheek hanging out. I wanna say the same for Chris, who’s always got his sleeves rolled up, even in the winter tundra, or wherever the fuck they were, especially because he uses his big, strong arms to block and defend… But you get the picture- plus he’s got the illogical costume choices for cool dude points, not cause the designers were horny. I’m not even saying this cause I hate sexy things, I usually enjoy seeing the alt costumes you unlock and playing with them for fun, and most of them are cute or sexy and almost always impractical- it’s just incredibly annoying to me when the sexy comes from this objectifying and frankly stupid thought process, instead of the inherent sex appeal coming from something that makes sense for the character. Jessica is completely a sex object here, and the fact that everything down to her personality revolves around that annoys me. She’s not a good femme fatal type, but she could've been. If she was even a TINY BIT more subtle about things- her flirting, her sketchy behaviour, all of it -THIS COULD’VE BEEN INTERESTING. Again, like Raymond, WHY is she double crossing, what’s in it for her? If she wasn’t so overtly flirtatious to the point where Chris seems to be playing up how oblivious he is, and instead went for something more friendly and seemingly genuine to get info on Chris and his character, it’d make sense that she’s trying to play into her sexuality and sex appeal to break down his walls and get sensitive info that’d benefit her. If she wasn’t always acting like a reckless fool with a death wish, there might have been a way to make it look to her partners that she’s always just at the wrong place at the wrong time and use that to cover for the real reason why she’s there. Like, cmonnnnnn I don’t want to hate her if I don’t need to, but there’s nothing there that I like!

Sighhhhh. Bit of a tangent there, but seriously. It annoys me. I hate lazy designs and writing like this, do better.

Anyway, the controls were fine. Standard ots shooter style that you’d expect from a game like this, and it generally handles pretty well. While some of the locations and set design can feel bland and sparse at times- as I mentioned at the beginning, it was made for 3DS originally -but given that, the HD overhaul here is pretty nice and the character models don’t look too bad. It’s nothing stand out, but nothing looked or felt particularly wrong to me either. The only real gripe I have with this game, other than the ridiculousness I’ve just spent a few rather long-winded paragraphs getting into, is this scanning reticle. I did mention this briefly, but I need you to understand just how odd of a gameplay choice this is. When you scan enemies, you get to increase the percentage amount at the top, which will give your a healing item when you reach 100%. That’s nice, but there are plenty of healing items scattered about, AND if you just scan around the rooms, you’ll unlock more items to pick up. There’s barely any enemy variation either, so it’s not like you’re compelled to scan various new kinds of bioweapon you haven’t see before, because all of them look the same. It’s hard to ever feel pressed for resources due to the abundance of them you get from using the scanner. There are also little handprint things you can find that are only visible through the scanner, and whatever. They’re an optional collectable, that’s nothing bad. It was just a shame to me that there was only ONE instance where it genuinely felt cool and worth it to be using the scanner.

Right near the end, there was a lazer puzzle you had to navigate through, and you could only see the lazer beams through the scanning reticle. THAT’S AWESOME. If this was more integrated into the gameplay, beyond getting a few extra items here and there, that would’ve been so much more fun! Particularly for puzzles, as there were quite a few puzzle sections here that were nice to see as a return to classic resi vibes. The soundtrack was pretty decent, too. There are some tracks I genuinely enjoyed, but a few got annoying real fast. I don’t really have much to say on it beyond that.

So, in closing. This game sucked, and I wish it didn’t. It had a lot of promise as a return to classic resi for fans that felt alienated by the action focus modern resi was taking. It’s a strange game with some genuinely good ideas buried beneath the shit, and I think it needed a bit more time to be refined, or a director with a sterner and clearer vision for this as a project. And less sex for objectifcation’s sake, please. The main resi cast are already beyond hot and dripping with sex appeal, you don’t need to try so hard. Put that energy into a strong and enjoyable gaming experience next time.

Quint and Keith

Rest & Intensify

A Drop of Rain

~~

Resident Evil: Revelations 2, PS4

This game is so much better than it’s predecessor. Not perfect, but a massive improvement. I actually had fun with this, too, and got sucked in pretty quickly while replaying chapter 1 as a refresher for this write up.

Like it’s previous counterpart, this spin off game is an attempt to bring back the horror aspects to the franchise while the main numbered games veered off into action shooters- and for the most part, I’d say it achieved that goal. It is certainly scarier than I found RE5 or RE6 to be, and often reminded me of RE0 and Code Veronica at certain points. If I were to describe Revelations 1’s scariness as: an unsettling but building fear that’s always in the background, paired with high strung tension from encounters with friends and foes - Revelations 2 felt more to me like a mix of two types of horror scares: immediate danger, and the unease of never feeling safe enough to recover from that danger. Sure, Rev 2 is as cheesy as a B grade horror movie at times- but with a plot that’s easier to follow and gameplay that was generally fun and memorable, I had a great time. I can’t deny that some of my feelings towards both these Revelations games comes from originally playing them back to back- but as a sort of call and response to each other as spin offs, I think it’s fair enough to draw comparisons in this way.

This game starts with Claire at a work function, meeting Moira Burton, Barry’s eldest daughter, as she’s a new recruit for the same organisation she works at. We have a little exposition to find out that Moira and Barry have a strained relationship, and are currently in some form of estrangement from each other. The two ladies are working for Terrasave, a humanitarian company that aims to help those affected by bioterrorism- with one of the worst slogans I’ve ever heard: because ‘terr’ doesn’t have to end with ‘orrist.’ I thought it was a fairly well known thing within advertising that you DON’T want to put anything in your marketing that will remind customers of competitors or negative connotations - but this bad slogan is a form of self fulfilling prophecy, as some terrorists crash the party, shooting up the place and kidnapping Claire and Moira. When Claire wakes up, alone in a grotty jail cell, she notices a strange bracelet that’s been welded around her wrist. Before she can really take in anything, her cell door opens, and she’s able to wander around the derelict halls where she hears Moira calling for help. She’s also got a strange bracelet, and the two of them are directed further into the facility they’re being held in. There are telltale signs of bioweapon experiments, and before long they come across one of Claire’s coworkers, covered in blood and desperately trying to get help before she passes away at their feet. The further into the facility they travel, the more they find strange experiments and have to fight off zombies, (yes, zombies are in a resident evil game again!) and they come to realise that there is a woman closely watching them, who eventually makes herself known via the bracelets. Both girls clearly want out, and head for a radio tower to put out a distress call, and it’s here that they realise they are on a small and isolated island by themselves. That’s already an enticing plot: they’re stranded, there’s a dangerous variety of traps and bioweapons to contend with, and they have some crazed woman watching over them as she curates danger around them. To really add the cherry on top, at the end of every Claire and Moira section, each chapter is closed with a Barry section, set 6 months after the events we’ve just played through with the girls. Barry’s side of the story starts with him traveling by boat to the island, listening to the recorded radio transmission of Moira in the hopes of recovering his little girl. It’s unclear to him whether she is alive or not, but he is determined to find out what happened and bring her home, no matter what it takes. As soon as he docks, a little girl named Natalia finds him, and insists on coming along with him to find Moira. As they journey, they start to grow a bond like father and daughter, and together they set out to get to the bottom of things.

That’s a lot of gameplay per chapter, and it’s a welcome amount compared to the previous game’s chapter length. Instead of playing what feels like 10-30 min worth of the game before you’re hit with a chapter break and ‘last time on resident evil revelations;’ here it feels closer to 30-60 min PER SECTION, making it at least a good hour or more that you’d play both parts of the chapter before you’re hit with a recap. This is a much better pace to experience the story, as it not only gives time to get familiar with the game and it’s controls, but also lets the environment and story have time to breathe and sink in. While there are still recaps, they don’t feel as eye-rollingly painful, and are actually decent recaps of what was just played. The chapters feel like a decent play session; and in it’s original release, each chapter came out episodically week by week. The game wasn’t developing the chapters each week, as the entire game was completed and they just spaced the releases as a way of spreading out the content and potentially making more money- copying the hype of other games around that same time that were seeing success with this episodic model of play. I won’t speak much about that particular aspect, as when I played, it was years after release and I had the entire story ready to play at my leisure. But I will say I get an odd- and cautiously critical -feeling when larger AAA studios mimic the methods that smaller/indie studios use (often out of necessity) to squeeze a few extra bucks out of their customers, just because it was successful for a few select titles. I’d like to give a more thoughtful and nuanced opinion on this, but due to it being out of scope for this written retrospective, I’m not going to research further and I’ll just leave you with that comment, and you can draw your own conclusions based on it.

Other improvements to the formula of this spin-off series is that, instead of a clunky reticle to scan shit in the environment, the two supporting characters can make use of passive moves that act in similar ways to the scanning reticle, but in ways that are better integrated. See, in each scenario you play, there will be one character who is more geared to offence and active attacks, and the other to passive and supporting attacks. Claire has gone through this shit before, and Barry is an ex-STARS member who currently works in the BSAA - both of them have had extensive weapons and combat training, along with the experience needed to make their way through bioweapon littered landscapes. They are both the active halves of their duos, with most of their moves tied to their guns. The other halves, Moira and Natalia, do not wield guns, and make use of their own melee weapons for attack and defence. Natalia doesn’t use any firearms because, well, she’s like nine years old; and Moira has a very strong aversion to using guns after an accident in her childhood. When she was little, she was playing around with one of her fathers guns and accidentally shot her little sister, and Barry was upset and blamed her, even though the sister survived. This guilt on both sides, and lack of communication or understanding towards each other is what’s led to the strain on their relationship, and is why Moira and Barry haven’t been able to see eye to eye for a long time. So, instead, Moira makes use of a torch and a crowbar to blind and stun enemies accordingly; while Natalia can pick up and throw bricks, and make use of an uncanny sixth sense that allows her to see the auras of enemies nearby and point them out to Barry. During gameplay, it only takes a second to switch between characters as you’re playing, so you can easily look around for clues or blind enemies with Moira using the torch, or scope out the area for enemies with Natalia before switching over to Claire or Barry to start attacking. I quite enjoyed this for the most part, as both characters in each section feel distinct in their own ways without feeling that one is too much of a burden over the other. The ai for the characters isn’t too bad either, and feels like a nice refinement on the gameplay ideas from RE0. Having the characters be a duo also meant that expositional dialogue didn’t feel as awkward as it would be if they were on their own, and I really enjoyed seeing how the characters got to know each other and evolve in their own ways during the story. Sometimes the responses during conversations did feel a bit stilted, with unnatural delays between responses as you’re walking around, but in general, this dynamic was fun!

There’s all the standard guns, melee attacks and sub weapon usage here you’d expect of a modern resi game, along with a dedicated button to use healing items, evading enemy attacks and to sprint. The healing button is great, and so much better that you have to press and hold to confirm it’s usage, instead of accidentally wasting a valuable heal when you accidentally press the button. The inclusion of the run and evade buttons elevated the combat, and allowed a bit more freedom for how you want to approach them- but it did make the game feel a lot more action heavy, which is at odds with some of the horror elements by reducing the tension somewhat. Nitpicky, yes, but as this spin-off series has been presented as an alternative to the fans that miss the earlier survival horror aspects, having such an action-biased combat scheme feels a bit strange in that regard. However, I do think that it works while you’re playing, in the sense that it didn’t feel like I was struggling against the controls during encounters with enemies. At least, not much…

There were a lot of moments that felt very stop-starty, where there were overly directed sequences that took the camera controls away from me so that it can force me to look where it wants. This happens a lot during slower gameplay moments where I found that I’d already seen and put together what it wanted me to look at, or I just plain don’t want to look at it, yet the controls are yanked away from me in this manner. I get it, you want to make sure the player knows where to look during certain moment, but I really don’t like this style of camera direction. The whole point of having the camera in my control with the dual stick is that, well, I CONTROL IT. I don’t want to have to struggle against it during a section that is still technically in gameplay, aka, my domain of control. If you REALLY want to direct my attention to something specific, either make it visually interesting enough that I naturally want to direct my eye towards it, orrrrr just have a fucking cutscene. I found this struggle against the camera particularly egregious when using the sprint button- the camera zooms in a bit and just snakes very narrowly behind you, making it difficult to see where you’re going or even move! I don’t know if they did this to discourage sprinting across levels, but at that point, why include it at all if you want to discourage it? I ended up having to do a shitty claw grip of my controller where I had my thumb pressing the button to sprint, and my pointer wrapped around to control the camera because I would just be running into walls and corners if I couldn’t fight against the camera myself. There is also something… strange… about the way Claire moves. It’s hard to really say, but there were lots of little things, that, added up made me feel very strange about her. She walked in a strange kind of hunch, one that looks like she’s unpracticed in wearing heels, and at certain times she dawdles strangely instead of the normal walking pace. When she walked faster or started sprinting, I noticed a very strange weight that made her a bit hard to direct at the start and stop of things, which I didn’t notice to the same degree with her partner Moira. And this was strange, because during the Barry sections, he felt weighted and moved in ways that felt more natural; which leads me to thinking that Barry and Claire might share the same move sets, or at least the same base, which is odd. That’s purely speculation, but on a quick replay of the first chapter, and some rounds in raid mode, Claire just felt off to me to play as, and that’s my only hypothesis as to why.

Getting more into the mechanics of the game, there were some choices made here. Firstly, the weapons upgrade system from Rev1 is back. During the game, you may come across certain weapons parts, and when you can access a gun table that’s placed somewhere within the levels, you can combine those parts with your guns to upgrade and custom mod them depending on your play-style. This is fine, I used it to upgrade my stuff but I don’t particularly care for it- I’m just not that much of a gun guy. I appreciate what it brings, but I think I prefer to just have weapons be what they are like in RE1make or RE2make, or like RE4 where there's just a certain amount of upgrades in certain categories that you purchase. It just gives me a similar frustration as starting up Mario Kart 8, where you have to build a kart combo with stats that aren’t the most clearly spelled out (and some stats that are important are just.. not mentioned at all?) before you can race. I don’t want to spend ages figuring out a kart build, I want to race. I don’t really care to collect certain weapons parts and create a custom gun, I want to find the evil residents. You get me? I feel like that particular frustration is just exacerbated by the fact that there’s a skill tree. Now, this isn’t a completely fresh concept to resi, but, I didn’t like how they did it in RE5 or RE6 either lol. Here, when you complete chapters or do certain cool things for cool points, you’ll get a currency that you can use to purchase skills within the skill tree. These are things like: giving Moira a melee attack or finishing move with her crowbar, increasing the power of subweapons and certain attacks, increase the range between partners to use healing items on each other- that sort of thing. I don’t love it, but it’s perfectly fine as far as skill trees go. They add some much needed moves to the characters, especially for Moira and Natalia, that makes it easier for them to not only survive, but contribute to any fights you get into. While I find myself frustrated at times by the fact that there is a skill tree, it works fine, and once you have unlocked most of the good things, it makes itself worth it. Overall, it feels more refined compared to the way systems like these were implemented in Rev1, so I can’t complain too much. I didn’t even use the weapons upgrade shit in Rev1 much to be honest, so I think overall, I just don’t care for these things that tie into the game being more action focused than I would have liked.

In general, the locations you play through look and feel nice to explore, as much a grotty horror settings can. They’re definitely campy, but that is kind of expected of a resi game, if I’m honest. What sucks though, and I know I just praised it, is the fact that when you play a Claire section followed by a Barry section, you go through the same areas. Yes, there are changes, and there are some areas that are unique to each duo, but it does get pretty tiring when the differences are so slight that it dampens the more unique aspects of each. And although I really loved that there were more puzzles here, and some that genuinely had me thinking, I did find that a good majority of puzzles felt more like fetch quests to gather items in a certain order to unlock places and things, and not disguised enough to stay interesting for me. Within each level as well, it felt like there were separate sequences to go through as separate layers while you play. I don’t know exactly how I feel about it, as I enjoyed some of the spookier sequences, and did enjoy some of the more action focused areas; but there is a slight feeling of oil against water for me. I’m more than willing to chalk it up to the necessities of game design, and again I think it’s the fact that these spin-offs are talked about as being the scarier alternative of it’s time that makes it stand out so much to me. This in itself is frustrating, as on the whole, I think I really enjoyed playing this game despite my gripes with it…

A gripe I don’t really have is with the visuals and sound design. I enjoyed the look of the various buildings and landscapes, and although sometimes it was silly, it worked for me. And the music and sound design was just great, there’s a moody feel that the soundtrack brings to the visuals that just makes it all a really nice experience. The sounds of the weapons especially felt nice and had a good weight to them, which is always nice when they can pull it off. The UI is a slightly different manner, as it’s all a uniform orange type of thing. I appreciate the consistency, however, at times I found it difficult to actually tell what I had in my pockets or figure out what upgrades I was giving my gun because things are too similar. I think it’s still better than Rev1’s, and you get used to it, but readability in UI is something I’m becoming increasingly nitpicky and passionate about, I think. It does it’s job, though, so I can get over it. It’s not the tic-tac-tetris style UI of RE6, so I can live with it.

I’m going to take this chance to talk about the story more in depth so next few paragraphs will be the spoilery ones. To start, I really liked the way Barry was written. He had an interesting dynamic with Natalia, and it was nice to see that despite their differences, he is clearly willing to go to any length for Moira, and having that paternal affection and protectiveness extend to Natalia. Moira herself is ok, she swears like a sailor in ways that felt silly at times, and felt more like out-of-touch adults writing a teen instead of authentic teenagery mannerisms to me. Natalia is fine, she’s a young girl who’s gone through a lot, and tbh I think she’s more memorable when she’s with Barry compared to any sections where she’s with Claire and Moira. And Claire… UGH! Claire is probably my favourite protag in the franchise, and I feel like she was done dirty while it was also a really nice game for her. On one hand, it is soooo nice to see how she’s matured into such a capable and level headed woman who is clever and quick-witted. WE LOVE TO SEE IT. On the other… She’s seemingly forgotten certain things that were character staples for her in RE2 and CV. There’s a scene where Claire and Moira bump into Natalia, and she’s frightened cause she’s a little girl and these are two strange women she’s never met before, and Claire comes off too cold and demanding in a way that frightens Natalia even more, causing Moira to step in and be the comforting presence. Like?? HELLO?? Did the writers forget about Sherry? How Claire was not only a comforting presence to her while she was UNTRAINED AND INEXPERIENCED, but continued to be a nurturing figure in Sherry’s life as she grew up? Does that mean nothing? It especially annoys me because Claire is literally being the guiding and nurturing figure TO MOIRA. RIGHT HERE IN THIS GAME. Moira is a total rookie, I think she’s literally just joined Terra-Save the evening she was kidnapped and probably wasn’t meant to go on missions any time soon; and Claire is the one that is not only keeping them together and taking charge in trying to get them out of there, but she’s able to quickly adapt to the fact that Moira is gun averse and takes on that role for the both of them.

Due to the fact that Moira’s ptsd regarding guns and the incident where she accidentally shot her sister is such a prevalent talking point for her character, I would think it makes more sense for Moira to be more out of touch with what a little girl needs as a comforting presence- as she was traumatised when she was young, and we can easily add that she became avoidant of not only her dad, but her sister and family in general too - and that seeing Natalia is bringing up a lot of buried feelings that’s she’s unsure how to deal with, because she’s a frightened teen in a traumatic situation! If Moira had self imposed an exile on herself and didn’t get along with any of her immediate family, that can mean that seeing Natalia periodically and then losing her a few times give her a chance to talk with Claire about how she feels guilty and sad about that fact that the issue with the gun robbed her of her childhood innocence AND a childhood with her sister. This would just strengthen the themes presented with Barry, where he is going to drastic lengths for Moira because she is STILL HIS DAUGHTER, and that protecting Natalia is allowing him to kind of process how poorly he had handled the incident with Moira, and do better for Natalia right now at the very least. This super small change would also give Claire the chance to reflect on her own sibling relationship, and give her a chance to talk about what Chris and Barry mean to her, as they were both family figures for her. There’s a really fucking fantastic framework here that suits the dramatic heights the game is going for, but it squanders it with stupid things like Claire suddenly not being calm and kind enough to comfort a scared girl. She isn’t too badass to do things like that, she’s badass because she can do things like that. Things like this made me feel like Barry was more prioritised as a protag, despite Claire being clearly presented as the main character. It just sucks and I feel sad about it, because there’s not much I feel needs changing about Barry’s side of the story. He feels like Barry, acts and talks like Barry, and it’s so nice to get a game that takes a closer look at him as a character. It’s a great entry for him, but I feel conflicted about Claire’s depiction here.

I think the other major thing that felt strange about Claire is actually the way the main antagonist is presented as well. See, she’s apparently a Wesker, and she’s continuing her brother’s research of the Ouroubourous Virus to help her create the T-Phobos virus- a virus that only triggers mutation when the subject is afraid. She wants to become immortal and live a life free of fear, convinced that if she can find a subject that is immune to fear, she can transfer her consciousness to them and live on. There’s a lot to unpack here, because they were setting up a lot and it didn’t quite live up to what they’d hoped. In general, yes, Alex Wesker here is a more tangible antagonist- and she has a fantastic presence in scenes due to the work of her voice actor. The narrative-theme-based-on-a-classic is back, where they took to the writings of Franz Kafka as some rather on-the-nose themes for the game- Metamorphosis, And All That. I’m glad they actually feel thematically relevant, but I just think it’s a shame that Wesker felt… weak. With all the themes of family and siblings here, I think it would’ve been nice to see that Alex is becoming desperate because of Albert’s death- as it is, we don’t really see any mention of how their relationship or his death affected her, just a mention that she’s used his research to assist in her pursuits of perfection. It also sucks because I can’t help but feel that they were trying to set up a rivalry, or at least make a call back to it, because the antagonist is a Wesker and the protagonist is a Redfield. Chis and Albert had such an insane rivalry because Chris trusted Wesker, working underneath him for presumably years, and then it went wild when they cross paths in CV and RE5. Claire only just met Alex once she’s been kidnapped, and figures out that Alex is directing the horrible events on the island- there’s no history, or push and pull tension here; other than the fact that Claire wants to get out of here and stop this mess. I don’t think they could’ve drawn a comparable dynamic between Alex and Claire as there was with Albert and Chris – but there is room for some narrative tension and parallel!

Firstly, I don’t really understand WHY Alex is pursuing perfection, as it’s not really discussed in depth. Albert isn’t a biological brother to Alex, but he is the only other subject from the Wesker project who survived this long- and clearly it affected her when she learnt of his death. The first time she heard of his death, he had faked it as well, so who’s to say there won’t be some strange reaction to her hearing about his death after RE5? When playing the first time, I honestly thought that she was trying to perfect this consciousness transferring thing in order to ‘resurrect’ Albert in some capacity. That might not be the best path narratively, but I think some more story reasons that touch on their relationship would’ve benefited her. Claire also shares a kind of pseudo-familial tie with the Burton's, as though it isn’t shown much, in previous games there were notes that implied that Barry welcomed the Redfield siblings to be a part of his family and looked out for them where he could. This game is a very personally interconnected one, and to have the protagonists see the antagonist struggling with something that is so viscerally relatable to them would’ve been cool. It would’ve been especially nice if some of the thematic aspects of Natalia being chosen as the vessel for Wesker to transfer her consciousness were given more weight, and that affects everyone in some manner. Secondly, the final evolution of Alex is just… bland. She’s infected herself with the T-Phobos virus in order to transfer her consciousness into Natalia, and to complete that transfer, she kills herself in front of Claire and Moira near the climax. But, despite trying her best to be fearless, she experienced a microsecond of fear right as she shot herself, triggering the virus and turning her kinda-corpse into a mutated mess. She’s ashamed of it, and covers herself with cloth to hide her face and such- but during the six months between campaigns, as she waits for her consciousness to wake up inside of Natalia, she starts to develop a complex out of a fear or concern over potentially having two Weskers. She starts to hunt Natalia and try to kill her, deeming herself the only one who can be allowed, but… well. Do you see what I mean about this feeling weak? I honestly think the fact that it’s six months contributes to this, as how the hell did a little girl manage to survive on a small, isolated island that was devastated even before Wesker started her bioweapon research on the locals?

It also feels strange that, in the climax, when Wesker’s tower is self destructing, Moira pushes Claire away and sacrifices herself, and Claire is somehow found and rescued, but Barry takes six months to get to the island, and Moira was surviving on the island for six months, and also didn’t seem to bump into Natalia during those six months. It’s just unfocused and stretched out, I could believe one month, but why not have Barry just drop everything and rush over to try get Moira if they know where they recovered Claire from? I think it might’ve been interesting to have Natalia be more of a threat, as parts of Wesker come to the surface. And I think that it might’ve been more narratively interesting for Wesker if her struggle with the transferal was due to Natalia rejecting her. This rejection could be a literal one on a biological sense- despite being the perfect candidate, her body won’t take Wesker, or she is mentally strong enough to push her down and cause complications. OR, just emotionally reject Wesker, as she is afraid of her. How ironically haunting would it be for Wesker if she rushed into this project when she got news of Albert dying, and the perfect candidate that is supposedly free of fear turns out to be afraid of you? I’m really just spit-balling and getting rambly and philosophical here, but there are ways that this could be better constructed into something that is more tragic and thought provoking. The point Wesker wanted was to not be afraid, and I wish that was explored more, as there’s so many different types of fear. Her being a pretty weak antagonist just compounded the feeling of Claire getting fucked over for me, as it could’ve been so much more, and Claire could’ve been written to be a much better suited narrative foil, or even just someone who pokes holes at the very ideology Wesker is working under- fighting her by planting doubt into her work. I dunno. This could’ve been a real interesting battle of wit between two women, with interesting narratives tied into the other girls of the protagonist cast- yet I can’t help but feel they weren’t written as strongly and had wasted potential, because Barry ended up the main focus in the writing room, as men are just easier to write, probably.

In closing, I really liked this game, but I’m cautious to say I loved it. I very much enjoyed my time with it, despite it being more action heavy than I would’ve liked, and some sloppy writing and game design here and there. I loved the mood and atmosphere for this game, I love how campy it gets at times, and I loved the moments where this game really shined. This retrospective has been so complicated to write (and not just because I accidentally left it so long before writing), but I can say that I got sucked in almost immediately when I went to replay the first chapter as a refresher, and that’s always a good sign. It’s a game I’ll definitely replay in future, just maybe not as often as other resi titles I like more.

Theme of Barry

Lost (Enchained Version)

Heat On Beat 2015

~~

Resident Evil 4 Remake, PS4

Wow. I was not expecting this, and overall, I think I’m pleasantly surprised by it.

I was a big fan of the og RE4- it was campy, a bit of a hot mess, and a really good time. This remake seems to generally respect and enhance that original feeling, while taking the game in it’s own direction. There’s plenty I don’t like about this remake, but plenty I do, so lets get into it.

The general trend for the remake series is definitely one that tones down the exaggerated and kinda goofy nature of the originals, and replaces it with a more Hollywood-esque style of gritty and ‘grounded’ realism. Speaking broadly, I can get behind that- however, with each remake added to the series, I get more and more concerned that ‘updating to modern standards’ is slowly morphing into a streamlined homogenisation that strips away most of the charm the original games had. Before I start the nitty-gritty of my dissection, I just want to get the inevitable out of the way: REMAKE FATIGUE. OH MY GOD. Sure, this remake has some brilliant parts that I’ll get into, and it looks great and whatever, but Jesus. It makes me feel extra cynical that every other thing that comes out is a remake these days! Are bigger studios incapable of taking risks and trying something new? Is it really so bad that higher ups are afraid of taking a chance on a new IP, that the creatives trying to work on these things are forced to rehash old things that did well that one time?? Do the fat cats up top even trust the creatives they’re using and abusing??? The original RE4 has a cult-like following, any attempt at remaking it is a HUGE responsibility, as the fans (myself included) are vocal and incredibly whiny. It doesn’t really need a remake, other than continuing the newly reworked canon CapCom is going for in the remake line, so… Huh???? Even outside of gaming, remake and franchise fatigue is hitting hard, and I’m tired. It’s not exactly inspiring or exciting to see remakes get announced anymore, especially when the trend of REmakes in particular are getting to games that are only like, a generation or two behind.

I needed to get that out of the way, as I was not really interested in RE4R the way everyone else was when it was announced, instead feeling more disdainful; reading press releases and fan talk with a cynical and apprehensive view. As should be obvious, I ended up caving and getting the game, and had a good time with it despite it all. But man... You feel me?

Anyway.

The plot of this game has been heavily renovated. Things are darker and more ‘realistic,’ favouring story beats that have an overall more cohesive narrative. The basics of the story are still largely the same, but with expansion and refinement in certain areas. The follow through of plot and motivation between chapters makes a lot more sense compared to the original, and certain beats were changed (and even omitted) to give greater and different impacts for each scene. For the most part, I really liked what they did- it gave a chance to better understand the characters we’re playing with, and it’s pretty hard to feel lost with how refined everything is... but it is at the expense of losing some of the more ‘iconic’ moments from the original, as they are ‘too goofy’ to be translated into this tonal shift. Leon S. Kennedy has gone through a lot of training to become the government agent we see him as today, and is tasked with rescuing the President’s daughter, Ashley Graham, after she was kidnapped from her college campus. After tracking her down to a remote village in rural Spain, Leon is tasked with bringing her back home, safe and sound. It’s a really simple plot, same as the original, but where it gets more depth is through finding out about the bioweapons and locations you battle against as you try to escape with Ashley. There are three main areas that the story takes place across; the village, the castle, and the island. And, just like with the narrative beats, the locations themselves have been renovated to be more streamlined and expanded in certain areas to make this game an enjoyable, modern rendition of it’s original counterpart. There are a lot of call-backs to the original too, the main example being the shooting gallery- which is not only a fun mini game to play, but has an expanded remix of the iconic drive song. I’m not great at shooting mini games- especially not on PS4 -but damn, the shooting gallery was so much fun. Having the remix of drive and ramping it up made it an absolute blast! (Pun intended). There’s a lot to love about the way so much has been enhanced by getting more attention, and I can say that I did genuinely enjoy a majority of the narrative changes.

Into the gameplay, which again, was generally pretty good! The item management is still here; you will find treasures and collectables alongside weapons, ammo, healing and currency as you explore and fight enemies, and can arrange them physically in your inventory screen. The modern Resi convention of quick-equipping weapons and sub-weapons to the d-pad is back, but expanded to have two options per direction, allowing you 8 possible slots to customise with weapons in whatever order you’d like. I appreciate this, and enjoy the seamless nature of the quick equip- though I do miss seeing Leon to the side modelling the item or equipment I have selected… When collecting treasures, sometimes you get pieces with empty recesses in them, and sometimes you’ll get gems of a certain shape that you can place in those recesses- of which combining items to be fully decked out with whatever colour combinations you choose will result in a much higher price when selling those bedazzled items to the merchant. The merchant himself has been fleshed out a little more too, his shop feels nice to browse through as you decide what you want to sell and upgrade, and he has more missions to give you around certain areas! In the original, the extent of these missions were pretty much just ‘shoot the medallions in this area,’ and you get a reward for doing so. Now, he has more that add a bit of variety- things like killing pests, bringing certain items to him, and circling back to specific areas when you’re nearly done with an area in order to fight a mini boss. It’s a nice optional thing to flesh out the time spent with each area, and expanding upon them in ways that are more involved than a simple scavenger hunt- though don’t worry, the medallions are still around and the merchant still wants you to shoot them! There was actually enough things to do that I didn’t quite get all of them in my first play though, which in turn meant that there were still things to do and places to poke around in upon replay. (Though, the merchant talks A LOT during the various screens while shopping… Idk if I’m just misremembering, but the og merchant never felt this annoying with the incessant chatter… hm...)

Moving around as Leon was… pretty good. It took me a while to get the hang of it, as he felt very weighty and had a much stronger follow-through in his momentum than what I was expecting. His sprint also felt faster than I remembered the og feeling, and perhaps that’s simply the difference between the tank controls of the original and the dual stick controls of this remake. This quick pace suits the action side of this action-survival-horror, and honestly, once you play for a few minutes, the speed felt normal anyway. I just think it surprised me a lot to feel how weighty AND fast Leon felt in my first impressions, which is why I wanted to mention it. Leon also feels skilled; he felt fluid moving between various guns, using the knife, and fighting with throwable items and melee attacks. More attention has been placed on the fact that he's spent 6 years in special military training, and it’s certainly paid off. However, I can’t help but feel the various melee attacks feels a lot more limited here… Now, I’m more than willing to admit a rose-tinted bias here, but I remember getting almost giddy when I had the option to kick and supplex enemies with ease. There was an almost explosive feeling to it in the original, you could literally kick people’s heads off – and yeah, yeah, I get it. This remake is trying to be more grounded and less arcadey in this aspect, but despite the melee attacks having a good weight and follow through to them, it just didn’t feel as impressive to me. That’s totally a personal feeling and not really anything the game has done objectively wrong, but that is unfortunately one of the many little nitpicks of things the game has to contend with when trying to remake a game that has been placed on such a high pedestal by many.

While I’m nitpicking differences in the gameplay and mechanics, I want to talk about the QTEs. Quick Time Events were prompts in the original game that played during certain scenes (mainly cutscenes, but in some boss fights as well), and would prompt the player to do things such as hit a button combination in a short time limit, or mash buttons and wiggle the stick in rapid succession. They are divisive, to say the least, but if you read my retrospective on the og RE4, you’ll remember that I said I kinda liked them! I’ve heard that some people don’t like them due to the panic of being quickly prompted and only having a second or two to respond, and hitting the wrong thing results in an insta-death half the time- and yeah, that’s definitely annoying. But, I don’t know… In the same way that the tank controls of RE1 made me feel more connected with my characters by getting flustered and struggling to move in a way that I could link to the feelings of fight or flight responses for the characters I’m playing as, I quite enjoyed the ways QTEs were used in RE4. Leon’s feeling just as flustered when there’s suddenly a boulder, or giant mechanised statue of the antagonist, chasing him down some narrow corridor as I am suddenly having to mash a button to get him out of there. I particularly enjoyed the cutscene QTEs for the Krauser knife fight in the og, requiring you to get the right combo of buttons within a split second to successfully parry and continue the fight. They’re fun! It’s not like I love all QTE by default, as I did not enjoy their usage in RE5 & RE6 half as much- but when implemented smartly like the og… I just appreciated it. The QTEs for this remake have been dramatically reduced, and for a lot of people, that’s a plus. I really loved the accessibility options for the QTEs here, giving the option between mashing buttons or a press and hold. Some of our hands/reflexes aren’t what they used to be, and sometimes the option for something less physically demanding is nice. However… It does feel a bit lesser without the QTEs, if I’m honest. It’s not even that every single QTE in the original was good, but there was a frantic-ness about it that I miss. I felt this the most with the Krauser knife fight I mentioned earlier, which has been turned into a more traditional mini boss instead of a QTE cutscene.

Which brings me to the biggest issue I have with the renovation of mechanics here.

The Knife.

In the original, the knife was a permanent sub-weapon you could rely on in the game. Run our of ammo? Get up close and personal to slash with your knife. Need to open boxes? Knife attack! And fighting Krauser? Well. Let’s just say, you’ll wanna use your knife. It felt special, and to me was a defining characteristic of how I played and thought about gun and weapon usage. In this remake? There is a knife degradation system. I understand from a game mechanic view that having degradation might encourage players to get creative with other weapons instead of relying on the knife, or treat the knife as something more special because it comes with a limit- but I felt the opposite. I HATE WEAPON DEGRADATION SYSTEMS. SOOOOOO MUCH. I didn’t feel like the knife was special, because you’d find knives everywhere to make up for the fact that they can only be used so much. Once you use them all up, they break and you can’t use them again, except for Leon’s special knife, which can be repaired for a cost at the merchant’s. This is supposed to be the trusty knife! It doesn’t feel trusty or even special anymore! Resi on the whole is KNOWN for it’s knife only runs, as knives are ALWAYS present in some capacity. I didn’t like the way knives broke in RE2R either, but it didn’t feel as offensive to me, as they were only sub-weapons, and mostly used for defence. IN THAT CONTEXT, I can begrudgingly agree with the philosophy of knife degradation, because that game was much more focused on surviving the horror with limited inventory. Here… it’s an action game. Depriving Leon of his knife just feels cruel. I want to be free to attack boxes and barrels while I’m looking for items, to kill snakes and rats indiscriminately alongside hoards of ganados when I’ve run out of ammo, or when I simply want to use my knife. In this remake, I can still do all of that, but there’s a greater cost to contend with due to the degradation. I can’t even enjoy some simple knife fishing, as I’ve gotta keep it in the back of my mind that every slash could be my last. I pretty much never wanna see weapon degradation in games, and will only begrudgingly take it under very specific circumstances. It feels like it detracts from the game far more than any ‘innovative thinking’ or game balancing it may provide, and it’s simply a frustration I hate having to put up with. Have the guns run out of ammo! Have limited inventory space that makes me hum and haw over which items are important to me and which I’ll need to use up and get rid of! But do NOT make my knife so brittle that it’s useless after a few hits!!

‘But the realism-’ I hear you say. Yeah, sure. A kitchen knife, heck even some survival knives, are probably not going to stand more than a few hits when used in combat - but when there’s an option to parry a chainsaw with the knife… I think some liberties can be taken. Although the game postures itself as something more mature and realistic compared to its original goofy and contrived nature- it’s still filled with silly shit! It’s a video game! It’s ok to lean into it; the original did with the arcadey feeling that ran through it all. Why is this new direction so hesitant to allow certain things, while being equally goofy in other areas? I know that the knife thing gets better when you get a grasp of the parry system and learn the most effective ways to make use of it, AND that there’s much better options for it when playing in NG+ and you have all the upgrades- but why do I have to wait for a replay to have it feel tolerable? That’s still a full first run through where it feels miserable! And just due to the fact that it is the way it is, I actually felt discouraged from engaging with the knife at all during battle, and felt more comfortable using it only for things outside of battle. L. Skill issue. Whatever. But I fucking HATE weapon degradation in general, so I’m sure you understand that even though I’m aware of the nuances and probable intentions the dev’s had when implementing this: I don’t care, I don’t like it, and I don’t think it achieved what they set out to do with it.

Onto graphics, the game looks fine. Maybe a little flat in the colour grading at times, but that’s something I’d expected due to the original having a muted sepia look. I don’t really know how to articulate this the exact way that I want to, but I’m just not the kind of guy who’s overly impressed with 'realistic graphics' in games. I’m fine if things look a little janky- and in all honesty, I think that jank or intentional style choices add charm and a unique look to certain games. RE4R is using the same engine that a lot of previous games in the series have been using- it seems to be a great one for what they want to do with the look of it all, but I can’t help but feel that it looks a little too familiar at times. I think this is partially due to assets being reused, having played a lot of games in this engine and starting to see how it works and where the seams are, and remake fatigue. I could complain about it looking like RE2R and RE8, but I feel so half-hearted about that complaint. It’s the same engine, and a remake of a game I remember decently- of course it’ll look familiar. I’m fine to chalk that up to primarily my own tastes and fatigue that I’ve outlined, but overall, the game looks fine. Great if you’re into this mostly realistic style, I just don’t think I care enough to care. What I do care about, however, are the presentation for certain things that really pissed me off.

Firstly- STOP WITH 'CUTSCENE' MOMENTS THAT TAKE A HOLD OF THE CAMERA AND SWING ME IN RANDOM PLACES!!! FUCK OFF!! IF YOU WANT CONTROL OF IT HAVE A CUTSCENE, GAMEPLAY IS FOR ME!!?!!? And repeat all the shit you read previously for the Rev2 stuff I had the same complaint for.

Secondly- YELLOW MARKERS. This has been memed to death by now, and Resi isn’t the only game/series to go overboard with the yellow markers. But, whoever is walking around with open cans of bright yellow paint, reigning terror across this remote Spanish village - stop it! Who knows where they’ll go next! Joking aside, I want to go on a tangent and dissect this and give thoughts real quick. SOMETIMES, yes, the paint markers are helpful in showing me where I need to go, or what I need to do when I’m feeling lost. Yellow is such a naturally bright colour that it’s easy to draw the eye to, making it a psychologically/colour theory-ily understandable choice to make sure players see the hints you leave for them. A lot of the time, I believe the devs make these markers so obvious because they were common tricky points for their focus groups- which are often comprised of people with varying gamer skills, and I’d say that devs will try to pay attention to the less experienced gamer’s feedback to iron out any wrinkles and make the game more approachable. It all makes sense and I understand it, especially after having the opportunity to study this kind of thing a little bit and venturing into indie game dev myself. There’s so much to think about and consider that often will go unnoticed by the players, which can feel frustrating when you’re berated for choices you made intentionally with their favour in mind. HOWEVER, this yellow paint shit is getting out of hand. It often feels jarring and non-diagetic, bringing more attention to it than intended and breaking the immersion for the player. It can also feel very patronising to have the methods and solutions to puzzles pointed out so obviously to you, for both experienced and less experienced gamers. Things don’t need to be THAT obvious, and I’m not sure that slapping yellow paint over everything is the fix-all solution it’s being treated as. It might take more work, but maybe if so many players are struggling with certain sections, you need to discuss with your team whether this is an intentionally hard area that you want players to struggle through, or if there are better ways to create the problem you want players to solve. There’s not going to be ONE solution that pleases all players, but I feel as though many gamers with mid to high level experience in games are going to become too frustrated when they see the yellow paint and no longer want to be a part of the core audience anymore. It’s a tricky balance to make games inviting enough to appeal to new-comers or ‘the broader audience,’ without alienating ‘the target audience,’ - but too often with modern games, I can’t help but feel they’re spreading themselves too thin to catch every audience instead of focusing on their target. Look at ways that are less obvious than yellow paint, see what kind of diagetic methods to give hints would work, and really spend the time setting up ways to teach the players how you want them to play and approach the problems you throw at them.

What’s uniquely frustrating about the yellow paint in Resi is that, in RE8, they ALMOST had something really interesting in context with the yellow paint, but didn’t do anything with it. They knew the yellow paint in that game was garishly out of place, and called attention to it, but just didn’t deliver in the way I was expecting based on the way they set it up. To then go to a game where there’s no reason for the yellow paint to be everywhere, YET IT STILL IS, is frustrating. The one counter to this, which I alluded to earlier, is that these yellow paint signals ARE helpful to those that need them. Great, but that is only good as a stepping stone, and if people ever move up to a higher skill level in gaming where they don’t need it anymore, what then? I understand that from an accessibility standpoint, making sure that players who aren’t very good or don’t feel confident in playing but still want to play have an option. I support that, but to mix that into the DNA of the visual presentation of the game just sucks for every other player who wants an option to not have it. It’d take more work, but why can’t yellow paint-ifiying the landscape be exclusive to easy mode? That’s the area to have it, and by not not having it in normal and hard difficulties, it’s effectively training wheels for those that want it in easy. With this, there’s also some comment I want to make on the way older games did this. I’m more inclined to say that older games did a better job of communicating things visually, and in many ways the hardware limitations present helped devs to think carefully about the way they wanted to present things. Heck, even in RE2R, there wasn’t yellow paint slapped haphazardly around the place- I distinctly remember the use of lighting and contrast in certain areas to point out which way to go. This tangent is not just a critique exclusive to RE4R, but to all yellow paint games out there. I don’t like the overly researched and pathologised method of communicating things to players, it just says very clearly to me that you don’t trust me to play and enjoy the game the way you wanted me to, and would rather drag me by the hand through everything instead of giving me time to enjoy the spaces within the game you’ve created. Maybe there’s also an aspect of insecurity to this, which I don’t doubt could be from having unrealistic pressures and crunches forced upon dev teams in the increasingly dystopian work environments- but please. At least add a bit of diversity to the way you want to overly direct my play experience, it’s become so cliché even the meme of yellow paint is worn out.

And lastly, something I feel is the most relevant to bitch about regarding graphics, is the lack of boss transformation animations. To set the scene, in the original RE4, pretty much all the multi-phase bosses had grotesque animations showing the pure body horror of being a bioweapon. It’s memorable, and helps keep you immersed in the moment as you see the familiar human looking parts morph further into the inhuman. It’s kind of a staple thing to expect in the Resi franchise- bioweapons are a form of body horror, and bioweapons are behind every game - it’s what we’re here for. Now, in RE4R, there was a noticeable lack of transformation animations. I’m sure you can imagine the disappointment when I’m fighting the village leader in some sort of barn or shed that’s on fire, and instead of having some transformation to gawk at, he disappears behind a wall of flames, and re-emerges a few seconds later in his next form. Every boss felt like this, and even if some bosses felt like clever call-backs to their originals, or added something to make the experience unique to this game, I felt incredibly disconnected from the fight as a whole. For a AAA remake title that has the legacy it does, whadda hell!? I can’t imagine the time and resources it must take to model and animate such things, as I’m a 2D artist myself, but it is incredibly disappointing to see this remake take shortcuts like so. To pair with this, what I mentioned earlier about QTEs being stripped away hold for battle the most, in my opinion. I don’t think I was ever able to enjoy or get good at using the parry/evade mechanics introduced for this game, as their prompts weren’t as clear or understandable to me compared to something like a well placed QTE. And yet another thing to tack on at the end of this, is that I felt a surprising lack of unique death animations for Leon too… Again, maybe this is nostalgic misremembering, but I would have so much fun getting Leon killed and seeing a new unique animation depending on how he died. It was almost a little consolation; yeah you suck and you died, but look, isn’t it funny seeing Leon get his face dissolved to the bone, or decapitated, or dramatically falling-to-his-knees-at-the-realisation-that-Ashely-died to death?

I guess I could summarise this with something along the lines of: all the little details in the original, that might not seem like much on their own, all worked together to give the original the polish and charm that it had, and that there feels like a distinct lack of that here. Which is a shame, because there is genuinely a lot of details that ARE here that DO ADD to the experience- it just doesn’t feel like enough for me, unfortunately. Like, I really do appreciate that it kept some of the puzzle aspects across various parts of the game and even added more, and that there’s a semi-stealth thing going on that allows different options if you can approach enemies without alerting them. Considering the og was such a cultural influence on how modern OTS shooters were made from that point on, I found it really interesting to have stealth come back to remind us of it’s survival style origins. It just… also feels like it’s missing a lot, or only has call-backs to the original as a form of obligation.

In regards to music, I honestly didn’t feel like much stood out to me. I have a note written to myself to pay attention to the music, and after 3 playthroughs, the only song I knew I wanted to include at the end is drive. I didn’t really feel connected to or excited by any of the tracks, which is a shame because I really love a majority of the various OSTs this series has. Even the more ambient and atmospheric tracks can be quite memorable to me, but here… I just didn’t feel it. I really don’t know what it is, but to guess, maybe the soundtrack just felt a bit too generic for me? I wasn’t as keen on other remixes of tracks from the original, drive really was the stand out. Idk. It’s a shame, nothing felt really out of place as far as I can recall, but I can’t recall really enjoying much about it either. It just kinda lived in the background for me, which isn’t the worst, I suppose. The sound design was pretty good though, the weapons and various soundscapes sounded generally pretty good, and I like that they’ve used a different stock sound effect for breaking vases that sounds a lot less cartoonish.

And, well… That’s about all I can say in a vaguely non-spoiler-ish way without going into detail. I have a lot to say about particular details so. Here’s your fair warning.

I feel so complicated talking about the game from this point forward, though, I’m sure if you’re reading this far, you can kinda see why I feel a bit like a pendulum. The original never felt all that scary to me, but it had an atmosphere I liked and I was perfectly happy with that. Here, it’s also not really that scary, but in both it’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you get a bunch of enemies to fight all at once. However, I noticed certain scripted set pieces with forced and cheap scares that just induced an eye roll for this remake. In particular, there’s a section with a giant at the castle and it just draaaaggggggeeeedddddd on and I didn’t care. Which is sad, because I really like the castle in both games, and otherwise I really loved the revamp of the castle here. In general, there was a strong sense of dread lingering in the atmosphere, which I think is enhanced by the devs trying to balance the action-biased nature of the game with a re-introduction of survival horror elements. And while I may not agree with every individual choice made when remaking and renovating the plot and layout, I think it’s generally a net positive - even making some areas that weren’t all that fun in the og feel tolerable, if not fun now!

The main thing I want to gush/rant about, is the plot and the way the characters were handled overall. I want to start with Ashley, as I liked her fine enough but thought she got dreadful amounts of unwarranted hate in the first game. There was literally only one section in the first game where I was legitimately frustrated with her, and that was partially a user error on my part making it worse. However, the devs absolutely know that this is a sore spot in the pop-culture knowledge of the game, and have taken steps to avoid the same kinds of criticism. Firstly, I wanna point out that the actress who played Ashley, Genevieve Buechner, was very nice to hear. I think she did a great job of keeping the balance between Ashley being a naive and scared young woman out of her depth, and a capable young woman who is trying to use her skills and smarts where applicable. One thing that I know a lot of people bitched about was the og Ashley having a grating voice. I personally only found the repetitive screaming grating when it went on for too long, but I definitely understand where it’s coming from, so it was a nice surprise to see deliberate direction for Ashley to combat this. While she’s a young, college-aged woman, her voice was a little deeper than I’d expected (most likely to combat the shrill allegations), and throughout the story she develops into being a little more confident and proactive. I think I can give the perfect example of what I want to praise with a certain change in a cutscene. In the original, when they’re in the castle, Ashley suddenly runs away from Leon, seemingly scared or disgusted at the fact that she coughed up blood, and is then promptly caught in some cartoonish trap, waiting for Leon to break her free. Now? Not only is there a greater emphasis on the plaga parasite that is infecting them both, but this emphasis gives Ashley a chance to actually feel something about it. In a cutscene that serves the same purpose as the one I just outlined, Ashley is suddenly taken over by the antagonist through the plaga (mind control style), and attacks Leon. When her mind is released, she’s on the other side of a locked gate, and she runs away, afraid and embarrassed that she lost control and hurt Leon, and doesn’t want that to happen again. Hooray! Character agency displayed!! We get a much clearer situation to display this, first of all, but also a much better way of letting the events breathe and show how the characters feel through their actions. This also means that when Leon and Ashley reunite, the conversation that they share feels more special. I’m so glad that there wasn’t as much of a stop and start with Ashley being with us one moment, and whisked away the next. Everything felt logical and understandable for why she was or wasn’t with us in each particular moment, and the reduced goofiness made it that much clearer what our goals were in any given chapter.

I also like how Ashley was able to help out with a certain mini boss in the castle, and that her playable sequence was expanded upon. It hasn’t been long since she was kidnapped and infected, and she must be scared out of her mind, but I could really see the development from being stuck in a fight or flight panic, to now being someone who was trying her best to work through any problems she was stuck in. Leon has clearly rubbed off on her, and I think it’s nice to see that although jaded, he was able to impart some of his collectedness under pressure onto her - seeing how quickly she’s able to step up and take an active part in getting out of there was really fun for me.

Leon was interesting here as well, we’re given a much clearer info-dump at the beginning that tells us what he’s been up to, and shows us a little bit about Krauser before meeting him in game. It’s clear that Leon has been through a lot, and doesn’t have that bright-eyed rookie style anymore- though, it hasn’t completely disappeared. However, he’s focused on his mission, and it’s nice to see the developments he goes through when interacting with other characters. I don’t really feel I have as much to say for him, in part because it’s Leon, and everyone loves Leon- but also because there were a lot of things that I felt were cut from him and not replaced or repurposed in other areas. Most of his character is good and consistent here, it’s interesting seeing him with Ashely, meeting Ada and Luis, and going up against the antagonists. And although the Antagonists generally feel more fleshed out, there’s almost no banter anymore! SADGE!!! I get that it doesn’t really translate into the new tone they’re going for, but everything with Salazar in the castle felt weak sauce. There wasn’t really any back and forth going on, and it is sorely missed! Without that banter, and instead playing things a bit more straight with flecks of sass peppered in, I don’t feel that there was that much for Leon narratively. And although I miss it, I think overall, I’m ok with Leon not having the most narrative growth for this game. To be clear, I hate that the banter is gone, but I’m ok that otherwise he’s got a much smaller, almost static feeling character to me (at least comparatively).

Luis was definitely expanded upon, and I feel as though he had the most attention amongst the main cast. He’s a fan favourite, and with that charisma, how could you disagree? Despite the fact that I think my preference will always be for the swagger the original Luis had, I really grew to love Luis here in this remake. We get to know more about how he generally presents himself, and more about what’s going on. It’s clear that he feels plagued with guilt over his contributions to everything that’s unraveled into a shit show here, and he makes a point of helping Ashley and Leon rid themselves of the plaga and escape, despite it clearly being out of the way for him. Due to the increased amount of time Leon shares with Luis, there’s infinitely more homo-erotic tensions between the two as well – I even got to take him on a date to the shooting gallery to show off my epic skills! Adding more scenes with Luis here means that he didn’t die in the place he originally did, meaning that even for players who know the original inside and out, we still had new things to look forward to and were kept on the edge of our seats as we waited for the inevitable. I really enjoyed it, and think that the effort put into expanding Luis was great to see, as it kept me engaged the entire time and eager to read more in the lore files scattered around the place.

With all the emphasis on the plaga, I’m glad that the narrative was cleaned up and tightened in the way it was, and actually made the fact that Ashley and Leon being infected was a more tangible threat with a time limit. In the original, they barely scratched the surface of being infected, and it was so easy to forget until you are reminded in a cutscene and go ‘oh yeah…’ - the stakes here felt bigger and more cinematic, which nails the new direction right on the head. However, the actual details of the lore actually felt a bit… messy. I appreciate more focus on the plaga and Lord Saddler as the primary antagonist, but there were some lore files that were particularly dense and hard to make sense of. Perhaps that’s just a me thing, but there were some choices that baffled me and some choices that just felt a bit like pandering. I felt this the most during the castle, and I was eventually able to wrap my head around the history of the place; but there were some details and lore drops that felt more confusing than they needed to be, and not in a fun solve-the-puzzle kind of way. There were also some choices that simply frustrated me about the new direction overall, wanting it to be grounded and realistic, but still required to lean into some gamey things by fault of it still being RE4. To give an example, early on in the castle there’s a note about a particular enemy, the Garrador, detailing what a weird and fucked up kinda guy he was to increase the lore and world building. Leon and Ashley bring direct attention to it via dialogue during that section too, they REALLY want to make sure you know how cool and creepy this mini boss will be. But then, later on, there’s a room where there’s two of them. No lore notes for why there’s two more of these fucked up guys here, they just are- and this room toes the line between miniboss and just a room full of tricky guys to kill cause you’ve leveled up by now and know how to kill a Garrador. It feels stupid to emphasise a single instance of an enemy that you’re going to come across multiple times, and then do nothing with every other instance. I think I’d prefer to just be left a trail of crumbs so vague that we just have to assume the enemy is some weird fucked up experiment that the audience has to figure out. It’s so ehhh when there’s one guy with a backstory, and his twins are NPCs with nothing. That was a pattern that I noticed, where some areas were expanded upon greatly, but not in a consistent manner, which made it feel really odd to me at times. It’s a real tricky thing, and to be honest, I’m not sure if there would be a way I can suggest that’d make me happy, let alone a broader audience… It’s just that, in trying to expand and humanise certain characters and places, but not being consistent and thorough, I think it just prompts eagle-eyed players to notice holes quicker. I don’t know, it’s just weird! Some stuff has been changed in order to modernise things that didn’t age well, but still gloss over crucial things that needed more clarity anyway!

I feel this weird hyper detail with no substance was particularly prominent with Krauser. We got a name drop in the intro, good. We have some confrontations with him in the game, nice. There’s a tent, with lots of info, clearly Krauser has been brushing up on his Leon lore and even has a little Leon polaroid from when he was taken in after Raccoon City… huh? Obsessed much? In the original, Krauser was pretty much just dumped there, with dialogue and cutscenes that implied he and Leon had a history, but none of the players playing on GameCube and the multiple other ports at the time had any clue who he was… until they played the Darkside Chronicles on the Wii, years later. It was weird, but he is important to some plot developments in the story. The impression I got was that Krauser wasn’t expecting Leon to be there at all, and that seeing him has put Krauser on edge a little bit, which causes some of the more intense confrontations he has with Leon. Part of why he’s important is that he’d been hired by Wesker, but Wesker no longer trusts him, so he’s sent Ada to make sure all loose ends are tied up. Krauser and Ada never really cross paths here like they did in the original, there’s no indication that they’re in cahoots at all. We get an overly dramatic final cutscene with Leon and Krauser where he wants Leon to kill him, cause he’s the only guy who can, but not much in the way of contextualising HOW he mattered to the plot, other than a few stray lore files right before you fight him. I wasn’t really happy, and I don’t even like Krauser! At least give him something, but he felt so glossed over and flanderised into some typical trigger happy gun boy boot licker American with a dumb gravelly voice to show that he’s hardened from battle, and overused the term ‘rookie’ as a form of endearment towards Leon. Krauser, and the antagonists in general, didn’t have much in the way of tangible plot and lore in the original, but it had the charisma. In this remake, yeah they’ve expanded upon things, but forgot about the charm and whatever other immaterial vibe that was supposed to be infused with it, there’s too much dumping and not enough raw charisma. There’s no bantering back and forth with Leon, and they all feel flanderised to me. They picked a point for each of the antagonists and just zoomed in on that; the head honcho in the village is big and stomps around, the little brat running the castle is just a little brat (and not even funny cause there’s not banter), Krauser is just a typical American soldier type, and Saddler is just an evil cult leader. Adding extra lore details doesn’t really do much for me when the concept of these characters aren’t all that engaging to begin with. It’s a shame that there wasn’t a better balance here, at least for my tastes, as the original head honcho and castle brat were fun and memorable for me, and I’d forget about Saddler until the end, and they didn’t have that much lore to them. They do here, but it feels like a big fat nothing burger at times, cause I’m not sure what they really wanted to do with these antagonists at all! It may be a case of having too many, and not being able to put the same care and attention into all of them, but they’ve even cut a boss fight with a bioweapon from the main campaign! And of all the things I feel they cut and butchered, Ada irks me the most. Get ready, and grab the whole salt shaker, as I have a LOT to say here...

Ada’s physical involvement in the plot felt severely lacking, as there were a lot of things that were cut and not repurposed in other areas. She is supposed to have an interesting dynamic between Krauser as another hire from Wesker, between Luis as her contact to get a sample of the plaga, and Leon when she finds out he’s on the mission and could use him to make her job easier. The stuff between her and Krauser was cut, and the stuff between her and Luis in the originals were mainly detailed in her optional campaigns, Seperate Ways and Assignment Ada. Here, there are some moments where we see her interact with Luis, as there was more emphasis placed on making his story and arc feel more complete, but there’s still not a lot. And with Leon… they cut SO MUCH! I had this sinking feeling of ‘they’re gonna come out with her campaign as DLC and charge for it, aren’t they,’ and I was right. There’s even a name drop in the dialogue near the end that she and Leon are gonna go their ‘seperate ways.’ By cutting some things, it takes away a lot of opportunities for her and Leon to convene and discuss things, regarding their situation and regarding them. There was one scene in the original where Leon is overcome with the plaga, and when Ada tries to help him, he starts to choke her out, causing her to stab him in order to break free. This scene was such a memorable and important one for me, as it’s one of the only instances we got to see of Leon being affected by the plaga in the original. It’s also just a really good scene that just shows the way they act around each other; it was almost casual, they both clearly trust each other enough to let their guards down, and Ada lets hers down enough to show genuine concern when Leon starts to convulse, not expecting him to start choking her. She plays it off all suave when Leon apologises, but reiterates that he needs to get rid of that parasite cause she wants him to escape, but Leon is still laser focused on saving Ashley that he’ll lower himself in his priorities- there’s depth to that scene, goddamnit! And there is NO EQUIVALENT present in the remake. I have a feeling that they didn’t write this scene in out of fear around how politically correct it’d be to have a man choke out a woman, or something to that nature. Which is a shame, as I’m obviously not condoning that kind of assault- but it’s not a sexist hate crime here, it’s the antagonistic threat being demonstrated narratively. I understand the ballistics comment from Luis in the og getting cut, and that his flirtatious nature was toned down a tad to make it more palatable and less sleazy- that’s a fine adjustment to make since times have changed. But Leon choking out Ada… even with the quick context I’ve just given, you can see that it’s not a bad scene to have in the game, right? SO MANY of Ada’s scenes have been trimmed and cut entirely, and while some of these changes are due to the streamlining of the plot, but it’s such a shame that there’s not as much of her here! Especially when there was very clear attention put into Luis and Ashley, Ada feels severely lacking.

And speaking of lacking, I want to talk about Ada’s actress, Lily Gao. This is clearly a very sensitive topic, and I’ll explain the various aspects in a sec, but firstly the main thing lacking is a general respect from ‘fans’ towards Gao. I haven’t kept up with it, but the last I heard, she deactivated most of her social media due to the onslaught of hate she was receiving towards this role. I find that disgusting, frankly, and although I have criticisms towards her performance in this role, NO ONE should be harassed off the internet for simply doing their job. There are ways to voice your upset, but c'mon. Are we all becoming so juvenile and brain rotted that we think it’s ok to air grievances at someone who hasn’t asked for it, and continue to direct it at them even when they’ve expressed their disappointment and asked you to stop?

To give some personal context, I don’t normally keep up with reading announcements and leaks preceding a game about to come out, but I got a little sucked into reading about RE4R. I couldn’t help nervously looking through news about the game as it came out, as I was worried it’d be like RE3R and ruin the experience- but when I found out it was being developed by the team who made RE2R and RE8, I was happy to leave it at that, and decide whether I’ll buy it or not once it came out. However, one of the last bits of news I saw before I stopped being a hypocrite, was the news that Jolene Anderson would not be reprising her role as Ada Wong. Anderson played Ada in RE2R, also providing the motion capture for Ada in the second animated movie, Damnation, but did not voice her. She’s a talented actress; bringing a certain chemistry with Leon, and a sexy confidence that just brought Ada to life in the best possible way. She worked really well with the grounded style the remakes are going for, and it was sad to see her go. Now, a voice actor being let go is nothing new, and the amount of voice actors each character in the Resi series go through is nothing to sneeze at- that alone is not what felt off about this. Anderson found out at the same time as fans that she wouldn’t be reprising her role, mentioning online that she wasn’t given a chance to reprise her role, or a dismissal noting that they weren’t going forward with her. I understand that the industry doesn’t really have the time or established etiquette to keep up with relations like that, but damn. That feels a little harsh, especially considering that I think most people, myself included, assumed that with Nick Apostolides reprising his role as Leon, that Anderson would be back as Ada too. But, she was replaced by Gao, who had recently played Ada in the after credits scene of the most recent live action movie, Welcome to Raccoon City. I had no preconceptions to really bring, as one cameo in an after credits isn’t much to base off of, and I was ready to see what she brought to the table. I don’t want to just bash her and dismiss her talents, but she had big shoes to fill coming off Anderson’s performance (along with every other actor that’s contributed to voicing Ada), and the whole remake of RE4 thing. Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to fill those shoes, to my tastes. Scenes with her felt stiff, and the chemistry and depth to her performance just wasn’t all there. I don’t think it’s purely her performance, as I think the script and direction she was given didn’t really help her much either. Gao doesn’t seem to be as experienced an actor compared to Anderson, and didn’t bring that sense of Ada having control of the situation that feels important to her character. The lack of scenes like the one I described earlier certainly don’t help, as there’s not really enough chances for her to shine and show off what she can bring to the character.

I hope you have the salt shaker ready, cause here’s where I want to be very careful and nuanced about this… Ada, the character, is American Chinese. Anderson is a full American gal, and I’m pretty sure every voice actor that’s portrayed Ada previously was too- or at least, none of them are Chinese. Gao is Chinese Canadian, and I am absolutely in favour of casting POC in POC roles, especially here where Ada hasn’t even had the chance to be portrayed by a Chinese voice actress. (Theres even the famous trivia of the actress who played Ada in the Jovovitch movies being dubbed over because her voice wasn’t ‘enough’ for the filmmakers…) I really want to support this, but I feel conflicted, and bad about that conflicted feeling. I just think that if this was something that genuinely concerned CapCom, they would’ve cast a Chinese actress for RE2R, and not swap her out while they’re presumably going over scenario changes in the game and only just realising there are some aspects of the original that don’t fly in today’s landscape. It feels tokenistic in a sense, something for them to point at and say, ‘Hey, Look! We replaced the white lady with a Chinese Lady who looks like the Ada!’ Despite Ada being Chinese, there’s nothing overtly Chinese about the way she talks or behaves, she’s very American. The Red Dress she’s wearing in the original RE4 was clearly a romanticised, or perhaps fetishised, take on a style evocative of Chinese culture- and was very clearly impractical and foolish for the mission she was on. That’s about the only explicitly ‘Chinese’ thing that comes to mind for Ada, and that is more a product of designing her for sex appeal than any cultural representation. Her new outfit of a red sweater and otherwise black tactical, but stylish, gear is still a really nice outfit- and I prefer that change as it makes sense for her to be wearing it… Clearly there are changes made to be less insensitive, but the act of recasting and the resulting hate that Gao has received because of it also feels insensitive to me. Both actresses clearly have an idea of who Ada is to them, but for me- where Anderson brought a subtlety and nuance to the more subdued character direction, Gao came across as flat and uninterested. Again, I want to reiterate that despite not enjoying her performance, I think this is the result of a bunch of decisions up the chain, and not exclusively a failing on Gao herself. The scenarios she’s given, the direction she had to act under, even the casting directors are also responsible for this performance, but I haven’t seen them chased offline. I feel for Gao, as she’s been put in a role for a game on such a high expectation, that for some rose higher when they found out she’s replaced Anderson. But I want to ask, is dismissing an actress who was well received worth the risk of bringing in a newer, ethnically appropriate actor - one who isn’t quite up to the level of performance expected of her? I don’t have an answer for this, and as a white Aussie guy, I don’t think I should. Especially because, since playing the game, the Separate Ways DLC has been released, and I haven’t bought it yet- so I haven’t had a chance to view the full performance and see the other scenarios given to her. Overall, I just think she lacked the depth that made Ada Ada, and I am upset at the response others have had towards feeling the same thing.

And for a last bit of bitching (that needed that Ada context), I wanna talk about Wesker. I love him as a villain because I think he’s goofy. He’s a fun antagonist with an interesting backstory, but he’s also supposed to be quite serious and smart. Part of the appeal of having the Wesker cameo and seeing that he’s the one who hired Ada is that they are both clever and cunning - but in the same way that I don’t think Ada was written well, Wesker appearing at the end was ATROCIOUS. In general, I didn’t feel that Ada was her usual cunning, mysterious and suave self - and the after credits scene was the final nail in the coffin for me. In the after credits, Ada is has retrieved a specimen of the plaga used in the game, and is supposed to hand it over to Wesker. While she’s in her helicopter, she’s talking to Wesker on the headset, and she asks what he plans on using the plaga for. Wesker start spilling his guts, giving away exactly what he plans on doing with the specimen, and Ada just… Takes off her headset (which wasn’t given an explicit hanging-up, so I’m pretty sure Wesker is just on the other side and still able to hear everything lol) and she orders the helicopter pilot to change course. Like… DUDE!?? THAT’S SO DUMBBB WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGG!!!?? BOTH OF YOU!??!?!?!??! For contrast, in the original, Ada had seen first hand how dangerous the plaga could be, and pinched both a dominant and passive plaga specimen. When she contacted Wesker, neither of them gave anything away, but Ada decided to switch and give Wesker the passive specimen last minute. This still allows her plausible deniability, as she fulfilled her side of the contract, but made a choice of her own while still being able to keep working as a mercenary undercover. Heck, you even see in her campaign that she was explicitly told to kill Leon, and would take every opportunity not to.That’s a deliberate part of her character growth over the series - she is very conscious of what’s going on around her, and although she does what she’s hired to do, she also grows increasingly more comfortable with acting upon her own code of ethics. To just… dumb her and Wesker down to whatever the fuck that after credits scene was is so fucking stupid and I can’t stand it! Way to assassinate both characters in one fell swoop! It would've been better to just not include the after credits scene if it was going to be this shit- it’s the exact kind of pandering that I hate. OoooOOhh look it’s Wesker, he’s sitting there and on his monitor you can see Excella and TriCell as a reFERence to a possible RE5R!!!!11!!!1! SHUT UP!!!!!! I don’t want this shitty fan service and pandering forced in, it feels the exact same as when RE8 tried to retroactively make Miranda a HUGE deal to umbrella, despite her not being interesting or solid enough to warrant having her be that impactful to the company. The whole thing with the original RE4 was that they killed off umbrella off-screen. They died cause their stocks plummeted. The devs wanted to move away from Umbrella as the antagonist, that’s why the game is like that (even though I think killing off Umbrella and being unable to stick with that and dragging it’s corpse around in some form or other, is what made the games go off the rails towards the end…)

And actually, I lied, there’s one more thing I wanna bitch about since we’re at the credits scene. HUNNIGAN WAS DONE DIRTY TOO. She doesn’t get much time to shine in general, it’s just the way the story is- but as Leon and Ashley are riding their jetski off into the sunset, you get to hear Hunnigan whining annoyingly at the end. It’s presented as like, her side of the one sided call as she’s trying to get back in contact with Leon, but, hello!? She’s a trained government handler, I doubt she’d be carrying on like a pork chop and risking anyone hearing that!? What if Leon picked up and heard that? The hell?? Was that really necessary??? Ending the game like that left a REALLY sour taste in my mouth...

ANYWAY…

I clearly feel complicated about this game, as there’s a lot I genuinely liked, and a lot that irked me. I love the way the overall story was tightened up and expanded, but I don’t like the way some of the details were handled. The gameplay was good, not perfectly for me, but I learnt more about the mechanics and had a good time playing overall. There’s nuance to be had, and I already waffled on about it… so, yeah. Hope your salt shaker is empty. The one no-nuance take I can close on, is why the hell are Leon’s alternate outfits so sexless? They’re not really cool, there’s not enough cunt in them, they just look kinda ugly and boring. Do better, this is the pretty boy of the series we’re dressing up here!

Drive

Baile de la muerte

A Familiar Place

~~

To close - Wow. That's it, that's all the mainline games so far. The only remaining games I have left on my shelf are the two wii shooters, which I will attempt one day... I'd like to dig around and try some of the more weird and niche spin-offs in the coming years, and properly try out the original PS1 trilogy. I'm also interested in talking more about peripheral media for resident evil, like the live action and animated movies, and the novel series as well. Who knows what I'll get up to, but you'll certainly hear from me again. I love this series, despite any frustrations I have with it, and always look forward to writing about them like this.

#resi rambles #rads reviews #resident evil #resident evil revelations #resident evil revelations 2 #resident evil 4 remake

[savnofilter]

His Spidey-Senses | h. sero

         College AU!Sero Hanta x [GN]Reader

CONTENT WARNING(S): sfw, light suggestive content, kithing 😙, tsundere!reader, sero may have hyper fixation on a certain Spiderman scene, established relationship.

COUNT: 2k words [10 mins].

READ MORE: part two [masterlist + student masterlist].

A/N: this originally was a collab with a dear friend i am no longer friends with. ive been wanting to write sero more often and thought this would be the perfect work to finish and do so. if you so happen to be on my blog, ily. the first para to the fourth ("lectures -> day.") were written by her with very light editing whilst the rest is mine. wish we couldve finished this together years ago. anyways, hope yall enjoy this as much as i did finishing it. i'll make this post look prettier when my pc starts working again. 🥺🫶🏽

Lectures droned on and for you, it was a total bore. What you would give to be in the hero studies track and not stuck in the general studies degree... Hell, you were starting to consider your quirk turning anything you touch into rubber as a consideration for a strong quirk. As the blood hero, Vlad King, continued on, your eyes wandered to the clock above the board, counting down the seconds before the bell could finally ring. And sure enough, in ten seconds you were already bolting through the door.

You made quick steps to the end of the hall in hopes you could hurry and get these papers settled for the up-and-coming agency visit. As you shuffled through the papers you didn’t notice one of the windows that opened, the air from outside blowing the papers out of your hand before you could even think about what happened. Your eyes watched in defeat as the papers left your grasp, your brain not processing what had just occurred before one so happened to hit you in the face.

Your papers!

You rushed to the window and looked around in absolute worry, eyes wildly searching for them before sighing deeply in despair. How were you supposed to get them now? That was your only chance to get them done finally and they were due by the end of the day.

“Shit, shit, shit…” You mutter under your breath angrily as your eyes quickly scan the area helplessly. You crouch down body finally out of shock to collect your things. Of course when you finally finish this assignment after being so busy lately something out of your control happens again. While collecting your things in defeat a male's voice calls out to you from the open window.

"Did 'ya drop these?"

You whip your head around and look at the source of the sound, a gush of relief washing over you as you look over at your hero. "Oh my god," You stand up and lean against the ledge, hands reaching out for the remaining papers of the stack. The black-haired male pulls his hand back as you reach out to him, his actions making your arms recoil in confusion. A wave of annoyance promptly follows.

"Sero, give me the papers."

"Nuh-uh," Your boyfriend does his signature grin and moves to hang upside down from his tape. "You gotta give me a kiss first."

You scoff and tilt your head with a deadpan look, staring at him as you try to gauge if he is being deadass or not. You look away from his smug and handsome face, glancing left and right to make sure no one else occupies the hallway at this time. You chuckle as you wordlessly lean forward to give him a kiss, his soft lips eagerly meeting yours.

You and Sero had decided to binge old Marvel movies over the weekend and it may have been your worst and best mistake yet. Right into the first entry of the night, your excited boyfriend, Sero, insists that you start with Spiderman. You two bickered for a while as you wanted to go in chronological order, but later you chose to comply with his request only because he seemed excited to see it. In your memory, the movie was pretty good so there wasn't much complaining, but it wasn't the overall movie that got him obsessed. It was the most iconic bit of the movie for fanatics that set a cultural reset in cinema and fandom:

The upside-down kiss.

At that moment as your head laid on his chest, your cheek could feel the thumping in his chest speed up as the scene progressed. Instinctually you peer up at your boyfriend and lean away to see his face better, a playful smirk on your face as you squeeze him.

"No way you're blushing!" You sit up and get a better look at him with the dim and cozy lighting accentuating his cute face.

Sero rolls his eyes and gives you a look that begs for understanding, his hand grabbing your forearm as a plea. "Of course I am! That kiss was totally unnecessary."

"Mm, you think so?" You tease, body leaning into his and your face only centimeters away from his this time. "So you'd never want to try that with me?" Prying, your free hand that rested on his chest slid its way up to the side of your boyfriend's neck. Your thumb presses lightly against his pulse enjoying the way he shifts at the pressure on his neck.

"That's not what I mean and I didn't say that." Sero responds lowly. You two look into each other's eyes before leaning in to press your lips against his in a heavy kiss.

That night you two certainly did upside-down kiss, not exactly portrayed from the movie but you can already guess what went down. Either way, he was totally enraptured by that scene and used almost every chance he could to have you two recreate it.

You thought his infatuation was cute (which you made the mistake of telling him). In some instances, they were certainly out of place and even managed to gain a bit of a crowd when he'd give you a peck. You were a shy person when it came to showing affection, the fact that you were relaxed enough to do it so easily in private was a milestone. What really took the cake was his public displays of affection, the ongoing lookers enjoying a little too much of your abashed reaction to his advances. The perfect thing about your boyfriend is that he knows when and where to tease you, though. Every kiss he gave you caused you to feel embarrassment mixed with overwhelming love. Even in the more public settings, it was done with so much rizz you couldn't help but feel like a blushing schoolgirl or better yet, MJ. You couldn't lie, the whole appeal was that in many ways Sero always acted and felt like your own superhero—never mind the fact he was training to actually be one. As much as you were a tsundere at heart, his cheesy gestures always seemed to win you over.

But you know what the best part about this is?

You two were on the same page for your couple's costume this Halloween.

"You're my hero, seriously. I think I would've had a breakdown if you didn't catch those." You look up at him as he switches around to be upright again and step back as you collect the papers, giving him room to enter the hallway. He understands your thought process and effortlessly enters the building, gracefully landing on his feet. He makes sure to close the window behind him to avoid another mishap from occurring.

Sero doesn't say anything as he watches you fix the papers in order at a small table, eyes soft in their observations. There was a never-leaving tension on your delicate features, shoulders hunched while your back was impossibly straight. He had known you for a while now and it was clear to him that you were too stressed.

He stares at you for a bit longer making you look up at him with light confusion written all over your face at his silence. "Baby, let me take you out. You look stressed as fuck."

Your furrowed brows, slight frown, and irritation immediately lessen at him calling it out. You sigh softly and shake your head as you go back to rearranging your papers. You didn't want to outright say no, but there's no way you could easily agree. You felt bad either way with how much he does for you.

"C'mon, I can tell with my Spidey senses that you totally need me to take you out."

"'Ro, you have that training all the way into the evening tonight. I can't ask that of you!"

"Oh but you can," He genuinely smiles as he pulls you in by your waist. What you didn't know about him was that when he's around you, he always feels energized. Even if he had a super jam-packed schedule for a whole week, an hour with you always brightens his mood. He was more than willing to spend the rest of his night with you if it meant making you feel better. It wasn't like he secretly felt like he was sacrificing on his part either, he would willingly drop everything just to be with you. He pulls you closer as he places both of his hands on your waist and pulls you close to his chest. "Relax."

He mutters against your lips as you wrap your hands around his shoulders, a full-on kiss finally happening for the day. You softly hum as he applies more passion to the kiss, his hands sliding up a bit to hold your back and you arch into him. Your lips move so easily against his that you totally forget where you even are. The only thing you can focus on is that his lips and hands felt so good on you.

Your body melts against his natural fluidity, your muscles and joints already so accustomed to the black-haired male. You could feel something start to poke against your tummy, the pressure already sending a jolt of arousal straight to your core. You softly whimper when he slips his tongue into your mouth, wanting nothing more but to be engulfed completely in his presence.

As you slip further into the kiss, an irritating thought runs across your mind for the second time during this encounter: your papers. You groan in annoyance as you force yourself to pull yourself away from your lover, a string of saliva connecting you two. You bring up your wrist to wipe it away although not fully committing to pulling away from him just yet.

"Ah shit," You try to collect yourself and lightly pant as you look up at him. It was a mixture of not wanting to go, a silent plea for more later. "I have to meet with my professor-"

"Tonight though right, babe?" He leans against the wall as he asks. You sigh and nod your head in acceptance.

"Tonight, I promise." You lean in and give his cheek a kiss before taking your papers and sending him a small wave. You step back and swivel on your heels, hastily returning on your journey to the aforementioned lecture room. You’re able to hide the giddy smile that reaches your lips as you already start to fantasize about your boyfriend, but he already knew you would start cheesing the moment you turned around.

You felt so incredibly lucky to have your very own hero grace your life like this.

    all rights reserved © do NOT steal, alter or copy this work.

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha fluff #mha fluff #sero hanta x reader #sero x reader #college au!sero hanta x reader #college au!sero x reader #bnha scenarios #mha scenarios #bnha imagines #mha imagines #sfw #sav's sfwin'

[yugenandthekaleidoscopemind]

RAIN IN L.A

A Bo Burnham AU fanfic. ( if you’re not into fanfic don’t worry I post a lot more different kinds of writing but if you are enjoy this Bo fic Tysm!) To keep up with the chapters in chronological order look for the hashtag raininlachapters in the hashtags below.

Summary: After meeting the night of New Years. Bo begins to mentor a young aspiring artist, 21 year old Rinata (Rin for short) Jones who’s actually believe it or not a fan of him. Rin seems to be living the life that any groupie would die for. Meeting your favorite celebrity and working close enough with them to maybe even… *fall in love*? But this parasocial daydream is shattered as Rin and Bo grow closer learning each other as more than just an artist and a fan. This dynamic along with their growing attraction toward one another is forcing them to face the harsh reality of what it means to fall inlove with more than just the idea of someone else, but who that person actually is.

Rin: she/they pronouns 21 years old.

Era: 2022.

Rated: M for mature audiences only.

Word count for chapter 1: 3626 (this one is so long cause it’s the first time they really meet and talk. Most of the other chapters will be more short and sweet!)

Songs to go with the vibe of the chapter:

CHAPTER 3: HAPPY NEW YEAR!

( BO’S POV)

“FUCK IM SO SORRY,” says the girl. My eyes were absolutely burning, so bad that for a second I thought she maced me but then I smelt the lemony smell of cleaning product. “AHHH” was all I could manage to say in return. “Here let me help you!” She said I felt her hand on the center of my back guiding me as I blindly and drunkenly stumbled in the direction she pushed me in. “ I need you to scrunch your knees down and kind of bend backward so your head is over the sink for me okay?” She said, I did as she ordered. “Remove your hands from your eyes.” She instructed. So I did, I heard the sound of water rushing through the pipes and I was released knowing in a few seconds my eyes would be relieved of this poison.

Surely enough the water hit my face, it felt as though she was using one of those water hoses connected to sinks, I reluctantly opened my eyes so water could get in and flush out the chemicals.

“ Okay okay, I’m good!” I said as the water began to attack my face more and more leaving my neck and hair drenched. “Sorry sorry!” She quickly turned the faucet off and grabbed what felt like a towel and began to pat my face dry. I began to open my still slightly irritated eyes, and my vision was blurry so I rubbed them a few times hoping it would help them focus. As my eyes began to focus I saw my attacker standing over me. She looked familiar actually. “Do I know you?” I asked the stench of alcohol dancing off of my breath, which she could probably smell, our faces were inches apart. I saw as her cheeks went crimson red “uh um… um…. I mean you follow me on Twitter” said the girl. Then it clicked, she was the funny fan girl from Twitter! “Oh, I remember you now… wow so I ran away and ducked into an ally to avoid getting attacked by fans, only to get attacked by a fan? God has a weird way of saying fuck you.” I said “To be fair you invaded my store— wait what? What fans?” “Yeah whatever attacker” I drunkenly argued back. “Invader” she rebottled. “attacker.”  “invader.” “attacker.” “invader.” “I’m the victim here,” I replied partially joking but also still kind of upset that she burned my fucking eyes. “Wait but what fans were attacking you? What happened? How’d you end up here?” She began questioning I could see the confusion spread across her flustered face. This probably feels like fanfiction for her or something. I giggle to myself over the thought. “Why are you giggling? Hey, you still didn’t answer my other questions!” She interrogated. “It’s not important trust me— also can you get off of me? You’re like 3 inches from my face and I can taste what you had for breakfast this morning I feel like that’s not very covid safe of us.” I joke. “ oh.” She says realizing how close in contact we were before standing up and backing away. “Well, I can smell the whisky on yours!” She retaliated. “You can have some if you want,” I said handing her the bottle as I stood back up fixing my posture so that my head was no longer in the sink, un-bending my back and un-scrunching my knees,“ Thatś not very covid sa-” Her cocky rebottle was stopped in its tracks as her eyes traveled up following me as I fully stood up back into my original height and a look of awe spread across her face. “Yeah yeah I know I’m taller in person I get that one a lot. Honestly, I think you’re shorter in person. With the way you tweet I expected you to at least be 5’6.” I instigated, she scrunched her face up in annoyance. “What does that even mean?” She said, unscrewing the metal cap on the whiskey bottle but before she takes a sip she noticed how much is gone. “Jesus Christ are you alright.” “Mentally? No never. Physically? Yeah dude I know how to handle my liquor.” I replied she giggled in response before taking a sip. I wasn’t really joking though if I’m honest.

“This is like so weird like I know I probably sound stupid but dude Bo Burnham just broke into my coffee shop?!” The girl said taking another big sip of whiskey. She kinda drinks it like it’s water. Very alarming but also…hot? She must’ve seen me eyeing her and the bottle cause her next words were “oh I’m sorry do you want your bottle back?” “No! No— I mean eventually yes but like you’re good you can have more.” I chucked “actually do you think you’re sober enough to drive me home—” She interrupts herself taking another sip. “—like I would’ve left this shop hours ago but I didn’t bring my car over here tonight cause it’s New Year's Eve and people can get rowdy. I was planning on taking an Uber but no fucking Uber wants to pick me up cause of all this shit ya know?” She finished taking yet another sip. “My tires were kind of slashed for no reason… that’s kinda how I ended up here,” I explained. She looked at me concerned before sighing. “Well don’t you have like a fucking I don’t know helicopter or something?” She replied. “I’m rich and white but I’m not that rich and white.” I joked. “Well fuck.” She said in defeat. She put the bottle down on the ground and sat down next to it pulling a joint and a lighter out of her pocket and lighting it before looking up at me. “Come sit,” she said patting the floor. “ fuck it.” I said sitting down spreading my legs out to either side of her as she sat cross-legged in between them.

“So you’re the funny fan girl from Twitter.” “Dude is that what you’ve been calling me in your head? My name is Rinata first and for most. Second, off I’m not a funny fangirl I’m just funny.” She corrected. “So we’re gonna act like you’re not my biggest fan in the world? You probably orchestrated all of this just so we’d specifically end up in this situation!” I joked. She looked up at me with a serious, surprised stare as if she has been caught and my whole face went red. “ I’m kidding! Look at you you were about to shit your pants. I’d be a good actor huh?” She says breaking character. I take a sip out of the bottle shaking my head but I couldn’t help but smile cause of how much of a dumb ass she made me feel. This girl knows exactly how to toy with my little self-centered qualities. For a split second, I genuinely thought she orchestrated all of this. She held her hand out with the joint in between her fingers motioning for me to take it. “I am a fan though I can’t deny that, and I have lots, of questions.” She said blowing out the smoke, I could feel it hit my face. I take the joint from her and put it to my lips, inhaling, the weed tasted tangy and earthy. “What questions?” I reply. As I said that I quickly regretted it realizing I just unplugged a drain of endless deep intrusive questions about my art.

“So is inside what I think it is? It seems like an introspective take. A mirror. Something that’s made to make us look deeper at our own experience in the modern society and technological realm and how those two have combined. What are your actual political stances? It’s obvious you´re left-leaning but how far exactly? Was the reaction video bit a glimpse into your personal struggle with self-awareness and perception of self through the lenses of social media? Also for “make happy” what was the inspiration behind the “If you can live your life without an audience” speech. What drove you to that. What life experience made you realize how being a social media presence and performer affected you psychologically. Also, I know you like to emphasize the fact there’s a big divide between you and your persona but the jokes about the dad seem kind of ultra-specific were any of them taken from real life experienc-” “I have such a fun idea how about we don't talk about my career or something. So why are you working a coffee shop alone on New Year´s? Wouldn’t you rather be at home? Drunk? Having crazy hot sex or maybe just eating Chinese food or something?” I interrupt, attempting to divert her away from the subject.

The questions were interesting. And I’ll answer them one day but it started feeling like an interview and I don’t wanna be interviewed while drunk honestly. “Oh uh okay well I have no friends and my roommates are having a party with all of their friends and I don’t wanna be around a bunch of people I don’t know to only feel more alone so I thought why not just work until eleven and make some extra coin spend the next hour and a half in traffic and then by the time I get home all of the people at my house would have either left or passed out so I don’t have to converse with them. Why what about you? Should you be at home with your wife or something?” She asked. “I don’t have a wife. You mean Lorene?” I replied “yeah! Her.” “Wow, you thought we were married? Someone doesn’t fact-check! She was my girlfriend, not my wife. Am I in the presence of a fake fan?” “…was your girlfriend? What happened? If you don’t mind me asking.” I do mind you asking. I thought to myself, taking another sip of the dark liquor I felt the burning sensation of the whiskey reach all the way down into my stomach as I thought of a way to reply. “She died.” I lied, saying it casually before taking another sip right after. “She died?! I’m so sorry I had no idea…” Rin sympathized. “Yep, she’s dead.” I doubled down, taking another sip.

I felt Rin place her hand on my leg and I looked up at her to see such a soft look in her eyes. “I’m so so sorry. I really am.” She said, her voice is so sincere. I look away feeling guilty for lying. “ no wait look at me,” she says reaching forward and grabbing my face, and tilting my head toward her until we made eye contact. “ I get it, I really really do and I know nothing I say will make it better. I know that. I know what it’s like when someone you love dies like that. How it aches. Someone you always thought would be there like it wasn’t even a question they were just there in your future the way oxygen is. Then the next second that’s ripped from you. My best friend, uh, my best friend Alexa died. 6 months ago. 5 months after her 21st birthday. She was so excited to be 21 and she only got to do it for 5 months. She was supposed to be here with me. But she’s not and that hurts and sometimes when I think about it I wanna cry and kick my legs in the air like a little kid, and sometimes I do. Sometimes I throw a tantrum and yell at the universe for doing something so unfair and so cruel. It still stings, and It’s so early on for me that I’m in no place to give advice. But just know that although the hurts always there. Like you are submerged in open water, sometimes the water is calm. And some days it hits like a tidal wave and on the days it’s a tidal wave, you just gotta learn to hold your breath, for when the current pulls you under. It gets a little easier to hold your breath every time that I can assure you. I promise.” She comforted me. I felt a tear fall onto my cheek. That resonated with me a lot. Even though Lorene isn’t really dead, and god do I feel bad for saying that she is now.

“ fuck I’m sorry I’m so sorry, I- I lied she didn’t die I just said that to be stupid and impulsive cause I thought that death would make you uncomfortable and just switch topics like most people and I really didn’t wanna explain what happened to you but I’m so so sorry about your friend and what you said it- it did resonate with me though. It did and I thank you, so much for that. I see in your eyes you’re such a strong girl and I shouldn’t have joked about death like that, I’m sorry—” “stop apologizing.” She said, “how could I? That was so fucked up of me-” “no it was funny.” She said catching me off guard. “Huh?” “Pretending your ex died is funny and if my best friend hadn’t died 6 months ago then I would’ve laughed, you didn’t know. It’s fine. I’d rather someone not always walk on eggshells around me just cause of Alexa anyways. If Alexa were here right now she would’ve laughed.” Said Rin fondly staring out into space. I could tell she was reminiscing.

“well if you got a ouija board I’ll crack jokes for her whenever you want,” I say nervously hoping she found that funny as well, and she did, she looked up at me with a smile across her face, her eyes were watery and red partially cause she was sad but also cause she was high, her cheeks were flushed a rosy pink that softly bled back into her brown sun-kissed skin, and her face glistened, she had a drunk glow to her. “She would’ve found that one fucking hilarious.”

All of a sudden a sound of pitter-patter on the roof interrupted our conversation. “No way? Rain? In L.A?” I gasp. We both swiftly stand up stumbling over our feet before speed walking over to the back door. We open it to see the rain pouring down heavily, heavier than I’ve seen L.A rain in a while. “Holy shit!” Rin rejoiced running out into the rain. She opened her arms and tilted her head up to the sky. “You having fun?” I giggled. “yeah come try it what the fuck!” She said grabbing my hand and pulling me outside into the alleyway. I awkwardly stood next to her in the rain admiring her freeness “you think God was like ‘fuck these rioters’ and decided to quite literally rain on their parade?” I asked “Maybe, but ya know what the crazy in me is saying?” She replied “what?” “Alexa heard us talking about her. Back in New England, we were some real hippies ya know? We fuckin loved the rain. It doesn’t rain here the way it did in Massachusetts. I remember talking to her about that before she died actually!” “ You’re from Massachusetts too?!” “Yeah! Me and her both were.” She replied I could see the look on her face. I know that look. Both pain and pleasure invade her body at once right now. “ here pour some out for her!” I say taking a sip of the whiskey before handing it to her. She takes a sip of it before pouring a little out on the ground. Suddenly fireworks burst into the sky and we could hear people far and near begin to cheer. We both knew what that meant. “Happy New Year!” She exclaimed. “Happy New Year!” I replied matching her energy.

After a few more moments in the rain we decided to go inside, the rain and wind only began to beat down harder, and I was finally drunk enough to call Lorene and I’s mutual friend for a ride home. Most of the roads were clear now since people had to go home do to the impending storm. “Our rides almost here,” I said. “Well fuck.” Said Rin looking at her phone concerned. She looked up at me handing me her phone so I could see the message. “ so my stupid roommate messaged me that their stupid friend went to her stupid New Years' party before her stupid covid test results came back and she tested positive for the omicron strain. So now there are about ten people who can’t leave cause they live with immunocompromised people at home so they have to stay there and wait to see if they also come down with covid and so if I go back that pretty much means I’m definitely fucking get it but I have nowhere else to go so what the fuck do I do sleep on the street?” Fuck. “I can get you a hotel room?” I offered. “I was thinking about doing that for new years instead of working late but I couldn’t find any within a 15 mile radius, they’re either being used for people with covid who are homeless right now or they’re all booked because of new years or they’re shut down cause they're understaffed. The only thing left open is this shit motel which women have literally notoriously gone missing at that’s also known for bed bug infestation with a half a star rating on yelp. It’s okay I’ll just camp out here, for a while… I guess.” Rin said.

Fuck what am I gonna do? Leave her here to sleep on the cold marble floor when I know for a fact I have a warm cozy apartment to go back to? But then again she is a fan of me what if she kidnaps me in my sleep or takes pictures of me or something? Maybe I’m letting myself get too big in the head. There are plenty of people I’m a fan of who I don’t wanna steal follicles of their hair and clone. All of a sudden my phone buzzed, I picked it up to see Diane had texted me “here!” I had to make a decision quick. “I can’t let you fucking sleep here on this cold ass floor why don’t you camp out at my place tonight and I’ll help you figure out something more permanent tomorrow? Some hotel rooms should be open tomorrow since New Year’s Eve is done and over.” I offer. “Dude you so don’t have to.” “Dude I’m so going to. Now come on she’s here we have to go.”

For the most part, the ride was silent, until we got closer to my house. That’s when Diane became more talkative. “So this is your friend Bo?” She questioned, “Yeah uh why’d you say it like that?” I replied. “Oh, no reason just wasn’t expecting it to be a girl when you asked me to pick up you and your friend.” Diane pried. “You said it like that again ha … why are you doing that?” I awkwardly replied Diane has always been so passive-aggressively pretentious. A lot of me and Lorene’s mutual friends are pretentious, I’m starting to remember why I’d barely hang out with them even when I and Lorene were still together.

“It’s okay to move on! I mean we both know Lorene wouldn’t be upset.” Diane replied. “What is that supposed to mean you say that like I’m supposed to know something that I currently don’t—” there was a long pause of what I like to call ‘oh shit I fucked up’ silence before she answered. “Well, you know her and Tom.” “Her and Tom what?” “They’re together. You didn’t know? She told me she was gonna tell you.” “We haven’t talked at all.” “Oh-” Diane was swiftly cut off by Rinata. “Honestly that’s my fault I’ve been keeping Robert so busy. Haven’t I?” She chuckled crossing her legs over mine in the back seat. I looked at her confused. “Awww see I knew you guys were together!” Diane replied. “Yeah, we’re like barely apart, very much in the honeymoon phase right pookie?” She says caressing my beard. I start to play along. “Yeah, sorry I didn’t tell you Diane I just didn’t know if Rin was ready to tell anyone.” “It’s so fine. I get it! You guys are cute.” “We are right?” She said leaning over and kissing me on the cheek. My whole face turned red. “Oh my god, Bo are you blushing over a kiss on the cheek? You guys are the cutest! Sweethearts really.” She said the car rolled to a stop in front of my house. And Rin opened the door next to her side and we both got out. “Thanks so much for the ride!” I said to Diane screaming over the rain.” She nodded and waved before pulling off.

What was that for? “Well, Diane is obviously a bitch. No offense I get that’s your friend but she was totally trying to make you feel bad. Now she’s gonna run back to your ex and tell her you’ve moved on instead of running back and talking shit about how you are stuck on her. You’re welcome!” Chirped Rin. “Yeah that’s smart actually, and no offense taken. You see why I had to get shit-faced before even considering calling her for a ride now right?” I joked. “Yeah, I definitely get it.” “I think you enjoyed faking my girlfriend a little too much do you have a crush on me or something?” I instigated. “That’s funny cause the way I remember it I’m not the one that turned into a tomato when I kissed you on the cheek.” She teased. Touché.

AUTHORS POV

That night the rain sang them both a lullaby. Rin slept bundled up in blankets on the couch of Boś new apartment. He had just moved in cause he couldn't stand staying in the house he made so many memories with Lorene in. It was like living somewhere haunted. There were still boxes scattering the corners of the wall that needed to be unpacked but it was still home nonetheless, much more spacey than what Rin was used to. The night was fairly quiet but at night when she walked past Boś room in the hallway she could hear him crying. A cry all too familiar to her. It was one antagonized by the feelings of loss and betrayal. Rin wanted to go in and comfort him but sometimes people need those moments alone and she knew that. At that moment Bo Burnham was more human than ever to her, not that he wasn't a human before, but that night hearing him cry, it peeled back a layer, it thinned the veil between Bo and Robert.

So that’s it! Tell me what you think. Also, do you guys prefer long chapters or short?

#raininlachapters #bo burnham inside #bo #bo burnham #bo burnham fanfic #bo burnham fluff #bo burnham slow burn #bo burnham what #bo burnham fan fiction #bo burnham fan fic #bo burnham make happy #zach stone is gonna be famous

[riversofmars]

Can I ask you for a prompt about Thirteen stalking River at a dozen points throughout River's timeline (and all out of order)?? xx Thank you.

Hello! This is a brilliant prompt that I’ve actually been saving for the right moment :D I wanted to do it as a slightly bigger project and here we are. So this is going to be the first chapter of 12, one for each encounter (no way was I gonna do this in a one-shot lol), they’ll probably vary in length. I’m also planning on using some of the other prompts I’ve got sitting here for the encounters cause some are just perfect for it. All one big story though, chronological from the Doctor’s point of view, all over the place for River. :D

Starting off a bit serious but will turn lighter as we go along. Something (relatively) light and entertaining before I throw myself into something more serious again. Hope you’ll enjoy this!

Rating: G

Word Count: 2600

Read below or on AO3

Big, Vast, Complicated and Ridiculous

Chapter 1: The Library

The TARDIS materialised in the complete silence that engulfed the Library. Only the light atop the TARDIS reflected on the marble floor, the whole planet was shrouded in living, breathing darkness. There were a great many terrifying things in the universe, the Vashta Nerada certainly ranked right up there, but very few things actually scared the Doctor anymore. When she opened the TARDIS door, the golden light shining from behind her pushed the shadows back.

“I’m the Doctor, remember me?“ She spoke into the silence as she stepped out of her TARDIS and the shadows retreated from where she set her foot. “I’m not here to disturb you, I just want to see my wife.“ She said but didn’t get a response. She hadn’t expected one, there was no body for the shadows to inhabit and talk to her. “I just destroyed an army of Daleks… don’t mess with me right now, keep out of my hair and I will keep out of yours.“ Her voice was low and threatening. She hardly recognised herself anymore. It was one of the many reasons she was here. Nineteen years she had spent locked away with plenty of time to think. Being rescued and seeing off a Dalek invasion hadn’t done much to alleviate her gloom. If anything, it had pushed her further in a direction she wasn’t sure she wanted to be going in.

“Where are we going to go?“ Yaz had asked after Ryan and Graham had left the TARDIS.

“I…“ the Doctor hadn’t been sure what to say, heading off on another random adventure just didn’t feel right. Not when she had so many questions that needed answering, so many things she needed to figure out about herself. “I need to find out who I am, Yaz…“ She had said at last, squaring her jaw. She couldn’t just keep going, carrying all these questions with her. She felt so far removed from herself, how could she be carrying on in the name of the Doctor, when she didn’t even know who that person was anymore?

“Then we will do that.“ Yaz had said encouragingly. “Where do you want to start?“

The Doctor had thought about the answer to that question a lot in the nineteen years she’d been locked up. She’d taken a deep breath, gathering herself.

“There is someone I need to go and see, someone that knows me better than anyone else in the universe.“ She’d answered.

“Right, great, who is it? Where are we going?“ Yaz had asked, full of enthusiasm that had just been too much for the Doctor at the time.

“Yaz, this is something I need to do by myself…“ She’d said after brief consideration and Yaz’s face had fallen. “I promise I won’t keep you waiting long, I will pick you up again soon, but this bit… it’s personal.“ The Doctor had looked away, busying herself by setting coordinates and not face Yaz’s disappointment.

“Oh… but you said…“ Yaz hadn’t given up easily and it had taken a lot out of the Doctor to muster the needed enthusiasm.

“I’ll be back by the time you’ve packed a bag.“ The Doctor had smiled and meant it. She was glad at least one of her friends still wanted to travel with her but the place she needed to go, that was something she had to do by herself.

“I will be back here in an hour and if you’re not, Doctor, so help me, I…“ Yaz had tried her best to understand, she’d known her friend was struggling and if that was something she had to do by herself, she would have to give her that time.

“One hour it is.“ The Doctor had put on an optimistic smile. “I got my phone back as well, you can reach me any time, don’t worry.“

Yaz had given in to her persuasive and optimistic promise. Any trace of that enthusiasm the Doctor had mustered for her companion had drained away now. She didn’t need to pretend here, amongst the shadows. She had every right to be bitter, every right to be angry and sad and grieving. The shadows had been there and seen it all and they understood. Her threatening tone certainly had the desired effect as the shadows retreated and created a walk way to the nearest computer screen. The Doctor made her way over to the terminal and accessed it right away, before she could let her anxieties overwhelm her.

“CAL?“ She spoke as the computer engaged and powered up. “CAL? I need to talk to River.“

“Way ahead of you, Sweetie.“ River’s face appeared on the screen, giving her a warm smile that made the Doctor’s chest tighten immediately. She’d known seeing her like this would be hard, but to see that love and warmth in her eyes was more painful than anger at her long absence could have been.

“River, I… I’m so sorry I didn’t come sooner…“ The Doctor grabbed on to the terminal, trying to get as close as she could although she knew, of course, that it made no difference. River wasn’t physically there. She was just a voice, a consciousness, inside a computer. That knowledge made it hard for the Doctor to breath.

“I’m sure you have been very busy, saving the universe and all that.“ River chuckled lightheartedly and the Doctor couldn’t be sure if she actually meant it or if she was being sarcastic. She wasn’t good at reading people’s expressions at the best of times and she certainly didn’t feel her best right about now. “What brings you here now?“ River asked, tilting her head and the Doctor’s hearts sank. She knew her too well to assume she’d come without an anterior motive.

“I, uh… I’m feeling really lost right now and I thought… I just needed to see you again… I think I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be the Doctor…“ The Doctor confessed, unable to keep up the pretence any longer. They were alone, just her and River, the woman who had seen the best and the worst of her, knew everything about her, every face, everything she’d done… and still loved her regardless.

“Ah this again.“ River gave her a kind smile. “You have an identity crisis and you come to your old wife for a pep talk?“ She chuckled.

“River, you don’t understand, the timelords, they kept so much from me, I don’t even know my own life. I’m not even one of them. Turns out I’m just a foundling with these abilities that they then took for themselves. And I don’t even remember any of it, they took the memories…“ The Doctor started rambling. She didn’t know what to say or how to explain, it was just so much. River remained silent, just listening, allowing her to carry on: “I’m just so angry, I’ve done some really bad things and I can feel myself slipping into all that anger and…“ The Doctor closed her eyes, trying to block out the memory of Gallifrey burning, of the Master laughing, of her destroying a TARDIS to wipe out the Daleks…

“The anger of a good man is not a problem.“ River smiled, echoing a voice from their joint past and the Doctor actually laughed.

“You know I’m not a good man, River.“ She shook her head bitterly.

“That’s where you’re wrong, my Love. You’re the best man I’ve ever known. Or woman, come to think of it.“ River chuckled.

“I’m being serious, River.“ The Doctor shook her head. Why wasn’t she taking her seriously?

“So am I.“ River replied more firmly and the Doctor looked up at her. “You might feel yourself slipping and you might end up doing bad things, terrible things even but never without reason. Sometimes there isn’t a right choice so you have to make a hard one and you do. It’s what you have to do. And it’s not always easy but you always find your way back to yourself.“

“Last time this happened, you were there, to pull me back from the brink. At Demon’s Run. You said I make them so afraid… and I could see that. And I do again, now. This is not what Doctor is supposed to mean.“ The Doctor lowered her eyes again, ashamed for her actions. She remembered Demon’s Run well. Her hubris had been her downfall then. She could feel herself slipping back into that dark mindset, the anger she’d felt towards Madame Kovarian, the fear for Amy…

“Oh darling, you might have a temporary and possibly well founded identity crisis but you’re still the Doctor, my Doctor.“ River smiled kindly as it was the best she could do and the Doctor wished nothing more than to be able to touch her. Fall into her arms and have her tell her everything would be alright again. That she would work it out like she always did. That she was still proud of her, still believed in her, still loved her.

“You know I want nothing more than to be that person. For you, if nothing else. But how do I do it?“ She retorted, almost desperately.

“I’m sorry, my Love, I can’t tell you that, those experiences have to be lived, not told. I think you’d been sitting still for too long, you’ve forgotten what the thrill of adventure feels like, the joy of helping and saving someone. What it means to be the good guy and stand up for what’s right… To actually have fun again.“ River’s smile was full of compassion.

“Is that your advice? Just go back out there and find adventure and live?“ The Doctor laughed in a bitter sort of way and shook her head in disbelief.

“Something like that. Answers to the big questions have a habit of finding you along the way… I’m afraid you have quite a way to go yet before then but you want to be your best self when you do, don’t you?“ River shrugged.

“That’s not… how am I to do that if I don’t know how to carry on?“ The Doctor snapped, frustrated. Did River not understand what she was saying? How could she just suggest she carry on and find herself along the way. She had tried on Earth, fighting off the Daleks, and she had not acted like the Doctor at all. If she put herself in the midst of another adventure, what was to stop her from making the wrong choices? How was she to act like the Doctor if she couldn’t think like them anymore?

“What did you expect to find here? I’m just a face in a computer.“ River retorted pulling the Doctor out of her frenzied thoughts.

“River you…“ The Doctor felt guilty immediately, she had been so wrapped up in herself. River was so much more than that to her, even now.

“No, Doctor, you can’t come here and expect me to help fix you, you’ll have to do that yourself and you’re only going to do that by carrying on.“ River said sternly.

“To do that, I need you, I need your help.“ The Doctor confessed why she had really come. “When I’m with you, it’s like… I know who I’m meant to be. You make me a better person.“ She couldn’t help but think back to the time right after Darillium. How she had kept her diary close, River’s words guiding her through some of the hardest decisions of her life. She pushed her hand into her coat pocket and pulled out River’s diary. “I need… I need more.“ She looked at the well worn blue cover and then to River. She could see the flash of deep emotion in her eyes that she tried to hide with a dazzling smile as usual.

“Then you have come to the wrong version of me, haven’t you.“ River chuckled, the sadness gone from her eyes. “I’m stuck in a computer, Doctor, but there are plenty younger versions of me running around out there.“

“But, the diary…“ The Doctor had read it cover to cover many times. Even all the encounters River had had with her past selves before she’d even known who she was. It was all there. She had lived and read it all already.

“Oh Doctor, my dear Doctor, I was never going to put it all in there, was I.“ River smirked and the Doctor looked up dumbfounded as the penny dropped.

“You recognised me!“ She exclaimed. “You knew it was me straight away!“

“Of course I did, Sweetie. That particularly pretty face of yours has been all over my timeline.“ River grinned.

“It has?“ The Doctor’s head was spinning as her world turned upside down. Was this River’s way of telling her that this was not the end of their story?

“Well, it’s one of those timey wimey things, isn’t it. You come here distraught and talk to me, I tell you to see my younger selves, you tell my younger self not to put it in the diary, so you don’t know about those adventures and come here distraught to talk to me…“ River smirked drawing a circle in the air as the Doctor buried her face in her hands and groaned, annoyed at how she hadn’t seen this coming, it was just them all over. Her and River, time and space… Rule 1: The Doctor and River lie. She looked at River’s smiling face and felt much lighter than she had in a long time. Perhaps she could do this after all. Perhaps if she had those encounters to look forward to, she could keep going. River laughed: “See Sweetie, it’s never over for us, is it. All that time and space, we’re still running together, somewhere out there, and we will never stop. Maybe just delay for a time.“

“Maybe I’ll even get you out of here one day.“ The Doctor said the words before she could think better of it. Maybe she could, one day, make up for the one thing she regretted more than anything else.

“Maybe you will.“ River chuckled airily. “Until then, have fun with my younger self. Those were some good times.“ She gave her a wink.

“I will come back.“ The Doctor promised with renewed determination.

“Until then, my love.“ River blew her a kiss and before the Doctor could muster the strength for more meaningful goodbyes, the screen went black. The Doctor shook her head to herself, she was sure River had done it on purpose to make sure she would actually come back.

It was a strange mix of feelings as she returned to the TARDIS, she still felt the anger bubbling inside her, the nagging questions… but there was hope now, too, something to look forward to. The TARDIS hummed and wheezed as the Doctor closed the door behind herself, back in the comforting light and safety.

“Yes, she’s fine…“ The Doctor answered the TARDIS’s question as she stepped up to the console. “At least I think so… I didn’t exactly ask but she looked fine… I mean, she’s an image on a computer screen so of course she looks fine, she’ll always look like she did when she was uploaded I guess… But she didn’t say anything about not being fine… She did say we would see her again though.“ The Doctor found herself grinning now. “Let’s pick up Yaz and then, who knows… maybe we will run into her, wouldn’t that be something.“ She pushed the lever down and the TARDIS jumped into the time vortex. Th journey took no time at all and they landed only moments later. The Doctor skipped over to the door, already picking out suitable travel destinations in her head for their next adventure, and ready to welcome Yaz back.

“Okay… this is not Sheffield!“ The Doctor’s face fell as she opened the TARDIS door. Slowly, she stepped outside into blinding sunshine. “Yaz is going to kill me if I’m late.“ She scolded the TARDIS. “Why are you doing this?“  

#doctor who #river song #thirteenth doctor #Thirteen #river x thirteen #space wives #thirteen/river #fanfiction #prompt #mild angst #general #TARDIS #The Library #femslash #Big Vast complicated and ridiculos #Jodie whittaker #Alex Kingston

[alexseanchai]

20 Questions: Writer’s Edition

I was tagged by @2manyfandoms2count​ and I think also someone else? I am tagging whoever wants to play!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

820; just on my active pseud, 275

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

682,526

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

nope, hit my dashboard and count for yourself

that I’ve written more than ten works for? Sailor Moon, Harry Potter, Supernatural, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters, Chronicles of Narnia, Greek mythology, and Miraculous Ladybug (in approximately that chronological order)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1) “you're full of something (but it ain't love—right?)”

2) “go on and sound your horns (go on, release the hounds)”

3) “keeps you guessing (like any real love)” with @galahadwilder

4) “Know Your Name”

5) “ménage à, uh, quatre? this isn't adding up…”

*stares at those kudos counts* how. how did I get to where, if I get 35 more kudos on that fifth work, my top five works will all have over 2000 kudos? how

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

when I have brain for a response that’s got more to say than “Glad you enjoyed!”, I do

...usually I do not have this thing

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

bearing in mind that I have no particular memory of almost anything I’ve written outside Miraculous Ladybug: it might be “Quis Custōdiet Ipsōs Custōdēs?”, I have definitely heard about more people crying over “Quis Custodiet”, but I think it’s actually “indelible memory”. in “Quis Custodiet”, after all, Ladybug and Chat Noir are together, having ended the threat of Hawkmoth. in “indelible memory”, Hawkmoth won and Marinette’s going to torture herself for the rest of her life.

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

...I’m gonna open this one to the audience, because I really truly don’t know.

8. Do you write crossovers? If yes, what’s the craziest thing you’ve written?

sort of? I really wish I could figure out how to write the rest of the idea that became “Smudged Cartouche”. a lot of my problem is, “The Pharaoh” is a mid-S1 episode at the latest. so if I’m dropping a post-Dark Side of Dimensions Atem into that episode, Ladybug and Chat Noir know next to nothing about where their Miraculouses came from. and if Atem then uses his obviously-Duel-Monsters-themed akuma powers to contact/kidnap/something Yuugi-tachi, that makes Ladybug and Chat Noir by far the least informed and least experienced players on the board.

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No comment.

10. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I tryyyy. I fail.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. If anyone knows differently, please tell me.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think so? I know I have had people ask to translate, but I have not kept up.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

yup!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

judging by words written, love square

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

*makes sad faces at WIP list*

16. What’s your writing strengths?

poetry

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

a lot of “but it’s in my head, why won’t it go on the screen” plus some “outlines??” and a side of “how does one write kissing/smut that actually feels right”

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

linkable footnotes. *nods*

(I used to do hover text but mobile users can’t access that and I don’t think screenreader users can either)

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Sailor Moon!

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

uhhhhhhhhhh

where the firelight fades, I guess? I leveled up so much as a writer in the process of working on this

#tag game #miraculous ladybug #yu gi oh duel monsters

[takaraphoenix]

If you're still playing the ship game, how about Clark x Lois? I got curious since you like SuperWonder. I'm a huge fan of SuperWonder so it made me so delighted to know there's another shipper there! I'm really curious how do you feel about Clark with Lois since it's quite a popular ship. Only if you don't mind of course :)

I'm technically playing a different ship ask game right now, but sure I can do.

Though this is, uh... complicated? So let's try to answer that in chronological order. This is going to show a progress from NOTP to couldn't care less to actually really cute ship, because each adaptation does it incredibly differently.

The first version of Clark and Lois that I consciously met (I watched the old Lois & Clark show when I was very little and have literally no memories of it at all so I don't think that can be counted) was on Smallville.

That just catapulted the ship on the top of my DC NOTPs. I truly hate Smallville!Lois and I hated the way she treated Clark, he deserved so much better than that. And a very important factor in this ship and ships like it is trust for me - if a character has a huge secret and keeps it for literal seasons and years of having grown close to their supposed endgame love interest, I just... I don't see love there. Love means trust. Especially when said character has no problem sharing their secret with other third parties. If you can't trust them to tell them the truth, then you don't trust them enough to love them. This was the worst possible introduction to this ship.

And afterward, no adaptation really... did... anything with them.

I mean, seriously, watching Superman movies or seeing them on cartoons, Clark and Lois are simply treated as default, not as an actual relationship that needs to be established and built. They are together because they are together and the adaptations do virtually nothing to establish why they are together, why they love each other and some not even really why they care for each other.

Most prominently the animated movie verse. Before Clois, this movie verse spent multiple movies showing Clark growing close to Diana, building up trust and romance and falling in love and we saw them actually interact within their relationship too.

And then the time for the first solo Superman movie came and... with no actual reason given, Clark and Diana were broken up and with literally no reason given, Clark and Lois were suddenly already an established relationship. The very least they could have done was to give us one (1) Superman solo movie where we see them interact and fall in love and get together. No, the first solo movie and after multiple movies of seeing him in a mutually loving relationship with someone else, he is now suddenly with Lois and the verse shows us absolutely no reason why or how that happened.

And that's just... the theme. They think that "everyone knows these two are a couple" is enough of a short-hand and they don't have to do any heavy lifting on making one care about this relationship.

The latest version of theirs that I have met is in the Arrowverse, in Superman & Lois and I admit, I did not want to watch that show at first because of the feelings I had built up for this ship at that point. A huge seller was Tyler Hoechlin, who I truly do think is perfect as Clark Kent. And then they did Crisis and Lois was there - but she was more than just there.

She supported him. He supported her. They fought side by side, they were shown to genuinely care about each other and treat each other as equals. So I figured, okay, I'll give the show a shot, can still drop it if it's hot garbage.

And Superman & Lois has SUCH A GOOD CLOIS. I actually love them??

Within the first episode already, this show established better that Clark and Lois love each other and why and how they love each other than any other version of them that I've ever seen.

They make their decisions together, as a united front. They communicate, talk about both their feelings and also their problems. They figure out solutions for said problems together. They parent together, they support each other in all respects.

This is a relationship of mutual trust and love, of two equals who clearly respect one another. And that is the kind of ship I dig. And that is what most other adaptations of them have failed to show for them, which is just... a real pity?

Because I don't actually want to dislike any ship. Especially not a canon ship that can not be avoided if you want to interact with canon. I would prefer to ship all the canon ships. And I'm a multishipper at heart, there is no reason I can't enjoy Clark with someone else aside from Diana (and heck, reading the SuperWonder comics actually did make me very curious in them as an OT3 because I enjoy the Diana/Lois dynamic).

I would like to see more versions like Superman & Lois that do the ship justice and make them a beautiful, trusting and loving relationship that I can 100% root for and squeal about when they're being cute on screen.

Send me a ship and I will explain why I do or don't ship it

#I am so conflicted #as to how to tag this?? #because it's like half pro half con #but I can't possibly tag it as BOTH #gaölghälahgä #send help #xDDD #I don't like doing this but uuh I'll just NOT tag it? #Ship Ask Game #STILL playing the other one too #but if you got another one you're curious #for this one too #sure send it in #just play ask games with me? :D #I'm bored

[spidersfanfics]

Memories

JonMartin | Post-Canon | Original AU | Fluff

This is to be the first of (probably) many fanfics set in the same AU where I pretend that everything is okay. The details of this AU will be slowly revealed throughout the fanfics. However the fics themselves will be readable in whatever order/capacity you want. In fact, I’m not even writing them in chronological order. They will be “dated” according to in-universe time for ease of understanding. Enjoy!

March 16, 2019

Martin knocked tentatively on Jon's study before letting himself in, "Hey, are you busy?"

"Hmm? No I'm just finishing up some paperwork," Jon said, stifling a yawn, "Did you need something?"

"Yeah, I had a bit of a theory I wanted to test..." Martin said slowly.

Jon turned to face him and raised an eyebrow, "Go on?"

"Right," said Martin, clearing his throat awkwardly, "So you know how you're basically just a statement machine forever now?"

"I mean I don't love the imagery," Jon said, fighting the urge to roll his eyes.

Martin smiled at him sweetly, "Oh don't worry, I'll still love you, even if you are a monster."

Jon laughed and reached forward to pull Martin into his lap. The office chair squeaked slightly in protest but they ignored it. "Martin, I'm touched," Jon said sarcastically, resting his chin on Martin's head.

"Anyway, not the point," Martin said, leaning into Jon, "I was thinking, well, I want you to tell me a story."

Jon leaned over to look at Martin with a puzzled expression, "I thought you didn't like listening to me read statements"

"It's easier when they're about you," Martin said with a shrug, "Nice even."

Jon frowned as he wrapped his arms around Martin and leaned back in the chair again, "You know that's not how it works. I can't just know about myself. An eye can't look inside itself and all that."

"Learn," Martin said, his tone gentle but stern. "Maybe it will be a nicer way for you to let off steam. Rather than continue to look for leftovers or create more nightmares."

He paused for a moment to think of an appropriate allegory, "Think of it as a vegan diet."

Jon sighed in amused resignation, "Okay, fine. I have some time anyway. What do you want to hear?"

Martin blinked, caught off guard, "Oh, I get to decide?"

"Well it was your idea."

"Alright then," Martin said, a little flustered. He had evidently not expecting this to be an interactive activity. "Hmm... Oh I know. Tell me when you decided that you loved me"

"Really Martin," Jon laughed, "That's your choice?"

"Yeah," Martin said, blushing as his voice cracked slightly. "I mean, you know I liked you since basically the beginning but we did get off to a bit of a, uh, rocky start"

"That's an understatement," Jon mumbled.

"So what changed?" Martin asked.

Jon gave him a cheeky grin, "What, you mean besides literally the entire world? I'm surprised you have to ask."

"Oh that's not what I mean and you know it," Martin said with an exaggerated pout. "If that was the only reason then you'd just as likely be with, oh, I don't know... Tim?"

Jon stared at Martin for a beat. "Tim?"

"... Georgie?"

"Martin you were the only one who didn't completely hate me by the time the apocalypse happened," Jon said, squeezing Martin's arm gently. "And that includes myself. Is it any wonder I chose you?"

Martin frowned, "So what you're saying is you had no other options?"

"Well no," Jon admitted, "There's more to it than that. I just don't see how talking about my feelings is going to help with the statements thing."

"You said you'd try," Martin said decisively, "So come on, let's hear it. How did I end up here with the sweetest boyfriend in the new world?"

Jon laughed, "Jeez I could eat your words for dessert." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, "Right, let's see."

"Statement of Jonathan Sims. Subject is never being recorded ever again. Regarding how much he loves Martin. Statement begin."

"It must have been when I brought you out of the Lonely." Jon's voice got quiet, dropping into the soothing rhythm of his statement reading voice almost immediately. "I was so scared that I was going to lose you. I thought that I had already lost you."

"You have to know that I would have rescued you sooner if not for the fact that I was treading on eggshells. It seemed that no matter what I did, somebody was upset. And so when you asked to be left alone, I wanted to respect that. But then it got to the point where I could not ignore you any longer."

He clenched his fists unconsciously and Martin put a hand over his.

Jon jolted slightly, as if he had forgotten Martin was there and took a moment before continuing.  "When I found you, I was so happy that you were okay. And then when you saw me, really saw me, I felt so relieved. That made me see how much I lo-"

He broke off and shook his head. "No, that's not right."

"It was before that, when I woke up from my coma. Remember when you mentioned being upset you weren't the one to wake me up? Well I didn't tell you then but I was also disappointed that you weren't there when I woke up. Disappointed, and then worried."

Jon shifted in his chair, his brow furrowed in concentration, "That reminded me that I lo-" He cut himself off again, "No, still earlier than that."

"Before the Unknowing, when we went off on that mission and you agreed to stay behind for your part of the plan. I remember feeling so relieved that you wouldn't be in the worst of it."

"We thought it was going to be dangerous, it *was* dangerous. And if anything had happened to you  I would never have forgiven myself. And that's when I knew I lo-"

Yet again, he stopped, "No, still further back. When all of this first started, and we were hiding out in the archives. The worms were such a big threat, but it seems silly now, doesn't it? Anyway, when you told me about yourself, and we were talking about working at the institute."

Jon smiled slightly, thinking of how simple things once were. "I don't think I knew it yet but that's when I started to lo-"

He took a shaky breath and paused for longer than he had before.

Martin touched his arm gently and although Jon didn't jump this time, he did move to make eye contact with Martin.

"No," he said softly, "It was when I first met you. I was so scared of being rejected I couldn't let you in at all. That's when I realized I loved you."

#TMA #The Magnus Archives #AU #Denial AU #Yes I'm in denial #JonMartin #JMart #Fluff #Gay #mlm #Everything is okay #cute #Spider writes TMA #Love Letter to the Institute

[bashful-otaku]

The Flower and The Honeybee | 1 (Jasper Hale fanfiction)

♥️♥️♥️ Authors Note: Hiya this is my first post of a big book I’ve been working on, please tell me what you think. I still feel like this is hella rough draft but maybe it isn’t and I’m overreacting cause I’m nervous, if there is any mistakes please point them out. I hope you enjoy. *nervous energy*. Wishing you all happiness and safety in this butt of a time. ♥️♥️♥️

The world is full of judgement. It’s something I am used to but not something I can handle. A chronological of moments wash over me and I sit there waiting for the haze to ease. I can't reflect on those thoughts, as I fade back seamlessly into the crowd. I depend on the crowd or it seems that I do, as I follow behind the masses, I again blend in with the people in the classroom. Not sparing a look to students as I place myself on the seat. The frenzy of the words in this room feel like they’re being drowned out. I rest my face in my hand and scan over the foreign words on the wall.

Italian isn’t that different from English, and the words are even more angelic than English. Which reminds me of the meagre knowledge that I posses when it comes to artful languages like Latin. I take in words after word, writing everything that I can down. I detest using this pen, but alas it must be done.

Then class ends, which means the start of lunch, where the real frenzy will begin. I grab everything and again blend away, withholding the nervousness I feel at the proximity.

“Sorry, I needed a candid for the feature” utters Angela as I arrive at the table. I ponder at the words and sit down.

“The Feature's dead Angela, don't bring it up again! And hey Poppy” says Eric with such heated passion. I give him a smile and a wave because I notice that the new girl is trying to talk.

“It's okay, I just...”.

“I-I got your back baby” Eric says then rushes off.

“Don’t worry about it Angela, you’ll think of something else” I say to her with a small smile.

“I guess we'll just run another editorial on... Teen Drinking...” she says sounding deflated.

“You know, you could always go for... eating disorders? Speedo padding on the swim team” suggests the new girl. Before I can suggest some more Angela responds in agreement, and the other girls start talking about Kirk and his nether regions.

“Who are you?” I ask the new girl, she looks almost surprised that I don’t know.

“I’m Bella Swan, I just moved here from Arizona” She says with a hint of shyness.

“Oh?” I say to her and her smile widens.

“Have you been?” She asks and I don’t show how my heart hurts, at the fact that I could probably never go even if I wanted to.

“I wish to, oh and I’m Poppy Green. Enjoy the nature hippy name, what were my parents thinking?” is all I say and chuckles fill the table. I hold back from saying more, already pushing my luck with that sentence.

“Who are they?” Bella says to the people behind me, but I don’t turn around.

“The Cullens” says Angela with a dreamy tone and I withhold my chuckle at her actions. I let my eyes wonder to my watch almost dreamily when I notice that lunch is almost over, freedom will be soon. I tune into the girls explanation.

“Uh, the blonde girl, that's Rosalie, and the big dark-haired guy, Emmett, they're like a thing. I'm not even sure that's legal” Jess says in response to them keeping to themselves.


“Jess, they're not actually related” says Angela. I quietly steam, but let Angela correct her.

“Yeah, but they live together. It's gross and, okay, the little dark-haired girl is Alice. She's really weird, and thats Jasper, the blonde one who looks like he's in pain all the time, you shouldn’t even try talking to them. I mean, Dr. Cullen's like this foster dad slash freak collector” describes Jess and I wait for Angela’s rebut. She says nothing and I can feel my self start to fume, before I can stand up and say anything Bella has another question.


“Who’s he?” Bella wonders out loud.

“That’s Edward Cullen; he’s totally gorgeous, obviously. But apparently, no one here is good enough for him. Like I care. Anyway, don't waste your time” Jess explained


“I wasn’t planning on it” says Bella sounding offended. I let out a cough bringing attention to me,

“Really Jess, you know how I feel about people judging based on appearance, you know what I’ve been through, is that how you describe me too when I’m not around?” I inquire.

I feel my anger wash over me in waves, and before I know it I have pushed my seat out, the metal scratching horrendously against the stone floor and I’m striding towards the door my back aches with it being stretched out in fury.

I regret doing so when reality sets in, as it feels like thousands of eyes are staring at me as I leave. I walk down the hall into my last class of the day, and take a random seat in the back not wanting to fake niceties.

I feel the shudders and I can feel the cold memories call for me, i ignore then and bring out my favourite book.

A leather one, with sparkling white paper and five calligraphy pens are held in place on the inside cover. I pour emotions into the pages not wanting anything unsaid and I feel relieved when it’s all over. All the pent up anger and sadness dwindles as I rest my face in my arms in tiredness, ten minutes til class and then after the day will finally be over.

I hear footsteps enter the room and I don’t bother looking up, I just rest more into my arms and before I know it I’m lulled into sleep.

I stitch up and pull the skin together ignoring the scream all around me, I don’t focus on anything else just making sure that the person in front of me is alright.

“You really have to be more careful” I say and it sounds like a strangers voice has taken over.

“Hmm” is a male’s hum, I look up and see nothing, all I see is the stitched up wound and then whiteness blocking everything else.

I wake up with a start and look up to see Jess looking over at me slightly, I look down at the rubber and chuckle silently at the many sorry’s on it. I nod my head as thanks to her and hold it for her after class. No one seems to notice and I sigh in relief. Looking around I see that I’m at the back of the classroom and on the furtherest right side. I curse my angered self and resist looking again to my left.

I can’t believe I sat next to him of all people. I feel completely embarrassed, ashamed and a bit happy. In the middle of the lecture when I’ve calmed down and I risk a glance through my uneasy peripheral vision my heart sores. I notice first the fluffy hair, then the air of maturity and finally the quietness of movement. He’s focused and attentive in this history class and I glance away as I notice the beginning of a head turn. Shyness falls completely over me as I determinedly look at the board.

I don’t look at him again throughout the class and when it ends I grab my stuff at a normal pass and follow Jess back. Not looking back at Jasper behind me even though I desperately want to.

#flower and the honeybee #twilight jasper #twilight imagines #twilight preference #jasper hale #twilight #jasper whitlock #twilight imagine #fanfiction #imagine #jasper #hale #rosalie hale #esme cullen #edward cullen #bella swan #jasper hale x oc #jasper hale x reader #jasper hale fanfiction #jasper whitlock fanfiction #jasper whitlock x reader #jasper whitlock x oc #poppy and the honeybee #bashful otaku work #fandom #fangirl #rough draft

[adultswim2021]

Space Ghost Coast to Coast #85: “In Memory of Elizabeth Reed” | December 7, 2003 - 11:30 PM | S08E04

Happy 20th anniversary, Adult Swim. And, boy, what a momentous episode of Ghost do we have here to celebrate. There are a number of episodes where the guest is an event unto itself and this is truly one of them. Frequent punchline William Shatner is an absolute cunt... and a proper legend. His cuntiness and legendary status are two things that seem to be at odds with one another, and the Space Ghost crew have managed to come up with an artfully idiosyncratic episode to match Shatner’s weird-guy-ness. It’s a classic for sure, and important. But (making a “smug dipshit” face) is it funny?

YES! It’s FUNNY! I will admit though, the first time I saw this episode I didn’t quite know what to make of it. This is partially because I’m very much a Star Trek agnostic. I’ve never been into Star Trek. In the last few years I’ve watched most of the pre-Next Gen motion pictures for inane list-making reasons, and I enjoyed them to varying degrees, but Star Trek is truly not for me. I’m more of a... well, I’m not a Star Wars guy either. What’s the other one? Uh... Spaceballs. That’s it. I’m more of a Spaceballs guy.

But I feel like I’ve absorbed a lot of Star Trek lore through cultural osmosis. I vaguely understand that William Shatner has had some deliberately-paced choreographed fight scene on those rocks from Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. When I hear music similar to the the music that Jim Carrey hums in The Cable Guy, I’m pretty sure whatever it is I’m watching is doing a Star Trek thing. And yes, I’ve watched every single Red Letter Media “Mike and Rich talk about Star Trek for 4 hours” video. But even today, after having picked up more Star Trek knowledge on my journey to the grave, I still have this nagging feeling of “I only sort of get this”.

Still, this episode has a handful of screamingly funny lines, and the episode ends wonderfully, with Space Ghost in his death throes, suffering the ultimate indignity of dying in front of William Shatner. There’s also the part where Zorak asks why everyone in Star Trek is black, and a part where Moltar nervously reads from his fan fiction (from a book labeled TARD WARS, hahaha). Shatner, who has a reputation for being arrogant and difficult, is as good a sport as one could hope. The show makes good use of his hammier moments, and only shits on him slightly in the process. The most notable moment is when Shatner says to Zorak “didn't you and I fight to the death?” to which Zorak replies “That sounds pretty dumb, man”. I’ve actually quoted this line many times. It’s one of the best.

Also, for those of you who like to track these things: the show features callbacks to other episodes and shows; the handimen at Zorak’s apartment are clearly extras from Sealab 2020/2021, one of the Leprechauns from Aqua Teen Hunger Force shows up, and there’s a poignant callback to classic Space Ghost episode “Banjo”. 

The title motif of this season is naming the episodes after Allman Brothers songs, and I always wondered about this one. Maybe I’m reaching, and it’s probably too disrespectful to be true, but I always thought that it was somehow a veiled reference to Shatner’s wife, whom he supposedly killed or let die. It’s simply too dark to be true, but it’s the first thought that immediately jumped to my mind when I first heard the title of this episode. Am I stupid for thinking this? Am I stupid because it OBVIOUSLY is a reference to that?? I simply do not know. I would like to know.

MAIL BAG

The big anniversary is upon us. What are your 20 favorite things about adult swim for 20 years going. Don't sleep on this question!

I gotta do SOMETHING special, so I might as well do this. More thought could have gone into this, but I spent about an hour trying to come up with episodes or moments from 20 different shows and putting them in rough chronological order. I limited myself to one episode/scene/moment/joke/whatever per show so it’s not all Space Ghost jokes. So, here we go:

Sealab 2021: “I, Robot”. Adult Swim proved it could be brilliant right out of the gate with the stealth premiere of “I, Robot”, but for Sealab it’s all downhill from here. (2000)

Space Ghost Coast to Coast: Space Ghost stops in his tracks to reminisce about the time Bobcat Goldthwait said "crack a window". The entire episode “Kentucky Nightmare” is brilliant, but this moment in particular so uniquely captures my sense of humor that it’s inexplicable. The dumb look on Space Ghost’s face when he stops in his tracks. Goddamn. (2001)

Aqua Teen Hunger Force: “Mayhem of the Mooninites” I tried very hard to make this all be individual jokes or scenes or whatever, but this is another episode where the entire thing is just line after line and I can’t really pick. This, “I Robot”, and “Kentucky Nightmare” is like a perfect trio illustrating how good Adult Swim really was right out of the gate. (2001)

Home Movies: Jason casually reveals that his parents have no idea who Brendon and Melissa are and that he spends most of his free-time making movies with them. This is the episode “Storm Warning” which is overall one of the best episodes of Home Movies, but this scene is probably my favorite. Illustrates how simple and hilarious the comedy is on this show. (2002)

Tom Goes to the Mayor: the end scene in “Undercover”, where they’ve shoddily reversed Tom’s various unnecessary surgeries and called him “Taumpy Tears” to boot. Positively sublime. (2006)

Metalocalypse: Dr. Rockso’s music video. From the episode “Dethclown”. I was never in love with this show as much as the true fans were, but there were a handful of incredible episodes. This episode basically tells one joke over and over and it’s very funny. It really ends with a bang showcasing Dr. Rockso’s shitty music video that celebrates cocaine use. His singing voice is hilarious. (2006)

Assy McGee: I am the only person in the world that defends Assy McGee as being “actually pretty good” and it’s all entirely due to this one line: Assy McGee (a pair of naked buttocks with legs, whose ass functions as his head) is forced to attend a black tie event and is just milling around wearing nothing but a black bow tie. Through clenched anus he delivers the line “I can barely breathe in this penguin suit”. The whole show is worth it for that joke. I don’t even know what episode it is except that it’s from one of the first few. I might not even have the line exactly right. But, I remember laughing so hard. I may not have laughed at Assy McGee again. (2006)

Saul of the Mole Men: The opening theme song. And nothing else. (2007)

Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!: Jim and Derrick. I should pick something more user-friendly maybe, since this episode almost entirely relies on being familiar with Tim & Eric’s previous episodes. But goddamn, this episode is such a funny concept (which is basically Tim & Eric doing an alternate MTV-ified version of Awesome Show) (2008)

Moral Orel: “Numb”. When Moral Orel suddenly stopped being a quirky Adult Swim comedy and suddenly started doing episodes that resembled art films. This episode is a fucking masterpiece. I remember sobbing the first time I saw it. There are a few in season 3 that are like that, but this one is my favorite. (2008)

Check it Out! with Dr. Steve Brule: Terry Bruge-Hiplo reviews “Dumpster’s Children”. Another bit of comedy that I’d describe as “inexplicable” and “sublime”, and it all hinges on an old man’s mouth. Holy fuck. I don’t think I’ve laughed harder than this at a TV show since. (2010)

Delocated: The ending of “Mole”, an extended Face/Off riff where Jon goes undercover as the scary mobster Sergei. In the final moments of the episode he marries a woman, fathers multiple children with her, and only then is pulled out of the mission. The episode is a tour-de-force of comic acting by Steve Cirbus, who is graciously allowed to shine for most of the episode. But man, that ending is fucking wonderful. (2010)

Venture Bros.: The ending of “Operation P.R.O.M.” a flurry of emotions hit me when “Like a Friend” by Pulp starts playing. The scene is so well done and weirdly touching. Brock realizes that deep down he gives a shit about the Venture family and is genuinely terrified something might happen to them. And then he gets to slaughter a bunch of Zorak monsters, which is also weirdly sweet. It’s even touching on a meta-level knowing that Jackson and Doc tried many times and failed to include licensed music in the show. I love Venture Bros, but I think we’d all be better off if this were the series finale. Sorry. I had to say it. (2010)

The Heart She Holler: The first scene with Patton being taught the way of the world posthumously by his father on a VHS tape. The first season of this show is amazing, but that scene, especially where Patton does a little Japanese bow and says “oh, hot dog!” is just hysterical. Literally every time a hot dog comes up in conversation my wife and I quote it. Please, do not scorn her, it’s not racist when SHE does it. (2011)

Eagleheart: The All That Jazz inspired finale. “Paradise Rising” is mostly a masterpiece, and how it ends is so fucking incredible. Easily the most under-rated show on Adult Swim and I’m not just saying that because... you know (mimes dick-sucking) (2014)

Rick and Morty: I watched the first two episodes of Rick and Morty, thought it was good, but for some reason didn’t become a devotee until my wife made me watch the Mr. Poopybutthole episode. It’s still my favorite episode, I think. (2015)

Brett Gelman’s Dinner in America: The “Dinner with” specials are all really good, but goddamn, this one hits. Should be shown in schools. I am going to go to every grade school in my county with an AR-15 (to get past the guards, of course) and I won’t leave until they call an assembly and they let me fumble around trying to find it on vimeo and play it for the students. (2016)

The Eric Andre Show: Eric interviews Steve Schirripa. The bit where he has an intern dip his balls in Steve’s spaghetti sauce is hilarious, naturally, but I’m here to showcase the running gag where every time Steve complains how hot the studio is, Eric just wordlessly hands him an ice cube until Steve explodes. It’s one of the most childishly hilarious things I’ve ever seen. It’s perfect. (2016)

Million Dollar Extreme Presents: World Peace: The Pick-Up artist sketch. I’m mostly unimpressed with MDE, and all but a few Sam Hyde bits leave me cold. But this sketch is a crowning achievement. I mean, I think these guys suck politically and are more mean than funny, but their sensibilities yielded one really incredible piece of comedy. Okay, I laughed at the blackface sketch too. There. You dragged it out of me. (2016) Joe Pera Talks With You: This show is beautiful and I love every episode. But the episode “Joe Pera Reads You The Church Announcements” Wherein Joe discovers a new-to-him song and can’t stop listening to it, is one of the most joyous episodes of television I’ve ever seen. A gateway episode. I tell everyone to please watch this one first. (2018)

#adult swim #space ghost coast to coast #adultswim2021

[scatterpatter]

“I want to get into Kingdom Hearts, but where do I start?”

Uh oh sisters I’ve fallen into the fixation station, I wanna gush about KH so I’m gonna infodump about it! KH is confusing and there’s so much plot but it’s a really endearing series I promise

A few disclaimers if you wanna get into the series:

You can’t just play KH 1+2+3 and expect to understand everything, sadly. It’s not like Zelda where you can hop into any game at any point, you DO have to play most games if you want to understand the plot. That means that if you REALLY want to get into the KH fandom, you gotta put in a lot of hours. Of course you’re free to only play whatever you want, but if you wanna understand the plot you need to play all of them.

Even with all the games, the plot can be confusing. Nomura be like that. They ret-con a lot of plot points and give half-hearted explanations at times, you’re just gonna have to deal with that if you want to get into the series.

You WILL become emotionally attached to at least one character. Good luck making it through 358/2 Days without crying.

KH fans are usually p chill and are super eager to help make sense of the plot for you if you ask nicely. No seriously we’re THAT desperate to infodump. I once sat a friend down for 40 minutes explaining the Sora-Roxas-Xion-Namine-Kairi-Ventus-Vanitas situation. ... Also beware KH fans because of how desperate we are to infodump.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO HERE’S A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO PLAYING THE KH SERIES UNDER THE CUT

Okay so I’m gonna lay out all of the games in 2 lists: order they were released and order they take place in the timeline. These lists will also include remakes and platforms

Order in which games were released:

Kingdom Hearts(2002 - PS2)

Chain of Memories(2004 - GBA) | Re:Chain of Memories(2007 - PS2)

Kingdom Hearts 2(2005 - PS2)

Coded(2008 - mobile) | Re:Coded(2010 - DS)

358/2 Days(2009 - DS)

Birth By Sleep(2010 - PSP)

Dream Drop Distance(2012 - 3DS)

χ* (mobile) ... See my asterisk below for this one

0.2: Birth by Sleep – A Fragmentary Passage (Only included in 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue, The Story So Far, and All-In-One-Package[See Collections below for more details])

Kingdom Hearts 3(2019 - PS4+Xbox 1)

Melody of Memory(2020 - PS4+XBox 1+Switch)

Order in which games take place chronologically:

χ* (mobile) ... See my asterisk below for this one

Birth By Sleep(2010 - PSP)

0.2: Birth by Sleep – A Fragmentary Passage (Only included in 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue, The Story So Far, and All-In-One-Package[See Collections below for more details]) 

Kingdom Hearts(2002 - PS2)

Chain of Memories(2004 - GBA) | Re:Chain of Memories(2007 - PS2)

358/2 Days(2009 - DS)

Kingdom Hearts 2(2005 - PS2)

Coded(2008 - mobile) | Re:Coded(2010 - DS)

Dream Drop Distance(2012 - 3DS)

Kingdom Hearts 3(2019 - PS4+Xbox 1)

Melody of Memory(2020 - PS4+XBox 1+Switch) [I presume it takes place after 3, but it wasn’t released yet so I’m not 100% sure]

Note: Chain of Memories and 358/2 Days kinda take place at the same time, but 358/2 Days goes past where Chain of Memories ends to I put CoM first

*What’s going on with χ :

Kingdom Hearts χ is... complicated. Long story short, it’s χ, Unchained χ, Union χ, and Dark Road all in one? Kind of? I’ll let Wikipedia explain:

So... yeah. They’re kind of all in one. To be honest, KHUX is not necessary for understanding the KH plot, but is still fun for people who enjoy mobile games and want a bit more lore- esp for fans who like self inserts. The plot of KHUX is the player’s self-insert character dealing with everything leading up to and going through the Keyblade War, whereas Dark Road covers Xehanort’s origin story. Back Cover(a movie, not a game) is in the same bundles as 0.2: Birth by Sleep – A Fragmentary Passage, and covers the plot of the Union Leaders and Master of Masters leading up to the Keyblade War.

Don’t worry about it if you just want the plot, just watch the Back Cover movie and you’ll be fine <3

Collections:

Do you want to not have to buy like 10 games and like 5 different devices just to play the KH series? Have I got you covered! The following collections were released, each one containing more games than the last. Go with All-In-One if you want everything up to and including 3 

NOTE: some games are included as “Movies”. Rather than having a playable remake of the game, they play CG cutscenes of the game that explain the plot. Good if you just want the plot, but you’ll have to get the original game if you want the gameplay.

Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 Remix (2013 - PS3): Kingdom Hearts, Re:Chain of Memories, 358/2 Days[MOVIE]

Kingdom Hearts HD 2.5 Remix (2014 - PS3): Kingdom Hearts 2, Birth by Sleep, Re:Coded[MOVIE]

Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue (2017 - PS4, 2020 - Xbox One): Dream Drop Distance, 0.2: Birth by Sleep – A Fragmentary Passage, χ Back Cover[MOVIE]

Repackaged collections AKA more bang for your buck: 

Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 + 2.5 Remix (2017 - PS4, 2020 - Xbox One): Everything in both 1.5 Remix and 2.5 Remix listed above

Kingdom Hearts: The Story So Far (2018 - PS4): Everything in 1.5 + 2.5 Remix AND all games listed in 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue

Kingdom Hearts: All-In-One-Package (2019 - PS4) Everything in The Story So Far AND KH3. Your entire KH plot before Melody of Memory is covered in this one

Videos:

“I can’t afford to get all of these things,” you cry in agony, “But I still want to understand the plot without just watching a summary video!” I feel you, I feel you. Well thank the youtuber gaming community, because every game has at least one compilation of every cutscene spliced together. The downside is you dont get to play the games, and you’ll miss some small things such as normal NPC dialogue that isn’t triggered by cutscenes alongside setting-centric context, but these are still your best friend if you want the full emotional weight and comprehension of the story. ... It’s also much faster to get through than watching or playing the entirety of the game. Length of each video is noted.

Kingdom Hearts (~4.5 hrs)

Chain of Memories (~3 hrs)

Kingdom Hearts 2 (~13 hrs)

Re:Coded[MOVIE] (~3 hrs)

358/2 Days[MOVIE] (~3 hrs)

Birth By Sleep (~6.5 hrs)

Dream Drop Distance (~5 hrs)

χ Back Cover[MOVIE] (~1 hr)

0.2: Birth by Sleep – A Fragmentary Passage (~1hr)

Kingdom Hearts 3 (~10 hrs) | Re:Mind DLC (~3 hrs)

(protip: when i was binging these i watched them on 1.5X speed to get through them much faster. They talk slow enough that you can usually absorb it fine. Srsly I binged everything up to KH3 and watched most of these on 1.5X speed- I did the math it took me ~29.5 hours to get through ~40.5 hours worth of content.)

In Conclusion:

pls play kingdom hearts i need more people to cry with thank u for ur time

#long post #kh #kingdom hearts #I SPENT LIKE 3HRS GETTING LL THE INFO+LINKS FOR THIS

[strange-destinations]

Hey Kitty, due to your stories I've started to seek out Benny & Brax stories. So far, I've simply picked a few boxsets (Legion and New Frontiers) where I spotted the fabulous Miles Richardson on the cover. I was wondering, is there a better way to go about this? Do you have any recommendations and/or a listening order you would suggest? Thanks in advance and I hope your wrist is getting better :)

Legion is... a bit of a tricky place to start in, all things considered. It’s kind of like throwing yourself in at the deep end, because it somewhat relies on knowledge of the previous few box sets (Epoch and Road Trip) and the characters that were introduced in those. Those, in turn, follow off the end of the Collection stories, but to be honest if you just want to jump in at the box sets that’s perfectly fine - Epoch’s made to kind of be the ‘jumping-on’ point. All you have to know is that at the beginning of Epoch, the universe has been sort of ‘reset’ and Benny’s looking for her son, Peter, who was lost in the resulting chaos. The rest kind of explains itself.

Brax isn’t in Epoch or Road Trip, but Ruth is and Ruth’s a darling, and there’s some pretty good stories in both of them all things considered, so!

EDIT: OH OH GOSH PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THIS BIT IT’S SO IMPORTANT all of the Benny stories from Epoch to Missing Persons are available for free on Spotify!!! like, completely free, no strings attached and in fact there’s a lot of Big Finish stories legally free to stream via Spotify, here’s a full list

Two alternate points to jump into the Benny stories, since you’re looking for benny-brax dynamics:

1) The Virgin books. There’s plenty of places to find these online (since the original publishers don’t get revenue from it, it’s generally considered Okay to download them, although I’m sure you can find physical copies if you searched for a while).

Benny and Brax first meet in Theatre of War, which is part of the VNA Doctor Who books (Benny’s still Seven’s companion, Ace is also there) and also is honestly a really really great book. There’s also a Big Finish adaptation of this story if you prefer that!! it’s a bit different to the book but still a really good spin on it. This one’s pretty much standalone.

Brax’s next cameo is in Happy Endings, and it’s very very brief although rather sweet. Happy Endings is the Benny Gets Married To Jason book and it’s honestly genuinely just a lot of pointless fluff.

...and then he comes back in the Benny solo books! These are a mixed bag but Dellah!Era Benny is a lot of fun and a particular favorite of mine. All you need to know (if you skipped the rest of the VNAs) is that Benny has retired as the Doctor’s companion, got a depressing divorce with Jason (f in the chat) and is now working as a Professor of Archaeology at St Oscar’s University.

Dragon’s Wrath is where they meet for the first time - good good book! Their dynamic is peak here. 

Brax does show up in a few other books but I can’t for the life of me recall a lot of them. I’ve still got to sit down and read through all of them in order some day, there’s a coherent overarching plot and everything. Where Angels Fear is definitely one where Brax shows up, uh. someone else help. it’s so late

anyway anyway Tears of the Oracle - best book. i first read it way WAY out of context and i still loved it. they’re best friends and it makes me sob every time. ‘she’s like family’

anyway yeah, Bernice Summerfield New Adventures - find a zip file of them somewhere and read them, they’re p good! and this is the era that Sepelio is set in, in case you didn’t realize this (i know at least one person didn’t)

2) The Collection-era audios (and tie-in books). Okay, I’ll be honest, I haven’t listened to this particular era in... nearly five years. And it’s a headache to get your head around, because some of the audios are closely interlinked with the books, and the books are hell to find, and there’s some Very Iffy Content for some of the stories and. I know y’all come to me for Benny Advice a lot but my memory’s so dreadful. half the time when writing i just operate on gut instinct for canon events and rely on the fact that this fandom’s so small nobody’s going to call me out on being ridiculous. Or I can also blame it on timeline shenanigans.

can... can someone jump in and give a guide to the collection-era stories and which ones to listen to/read for Plot Purposes? I know someone with knowledge is out there. it’s honestly an amazing story arc, I just wish I had the time to lay everything out properly.

The following, however, are pretty standalone and feature Brax heavily.

The Extinction Event - first audio ft. Brax. nothing especially special but it does establish some of the basework for some of his later Questionable Stuff.

The Mirror Effect - delightfully creepy, beautifully effective characterization, benny & brax & adrien & jason trapped in a creepy haunted mirror location and trying to get out. 

The Crystal of Cantus - maybe not entirely standalone BUT how can i not put this one down. very funny and very horrifying. benny and jason and brax go on a fun field trip and find out the True Meaning Of Cybermen. benny gains a fuckton of trauma.

...and then after Crystal everything gets plotty and complicated. not that it wasn’t before, but... oh well.

There’s also some books/short story anthologies in this era that are standalone/don’t require much context. Their names all escape me. Once again, help?

BONUS: Many Happy Returns - the Benny anniversary story which is more like a framing device for a fuckton of other stories set within pretty much every era. Cameos from everyone. Delightful and heartwrenching. Really really good, but maybe get some basis in various parts of canon before you check it out. Or maybe check it out and then start jumping around to find bits that interest you? I don’t know. I went through everything in painstaking chronological order from the tender age of 14 and now here I am, writing gory cannibal fanfiction about an emotionally repressed theatre professor and his disaster archaeology best friend.

...anyway, hopefully this helps at least somewhat! It’s past midnight and i’m wracking my brains as I try to remember what bits of an extremely extensive canon I enjoyed the most. let me know if there’s anything you need clarification on, I’m aware this is a bit of a disaster post.

#bernice summerfield #kitty rambles #long post #jeanniebird

[soft-glitch]

Where the breeze leads us

Chapter 2: Robotic presence

Word count: about 850 words

Author’s notes: this is a series of tiny one-shots taking place in the Sonic future AU described in my fic How You Look In The Wind. You might want to read a bit of it first! There might not be a strict chronology to these events, so some of them are up to interpretation. Enjoy the read!

- - - - -

“So… he’s living with you now?”

Tails’ tone was loaded with concern, and Cream perfectly understood. The situation was quite peculiar indeed.

Cream let out a short huff and got up from the carpet, putting the movie on pause. Of course Omega would do some mess, but it wasn’t that bad. And he was extremely nice with everyone at home.

“Yes, they left him yesterday.” the rabbit confirmed. ”There is some getting used to it but everything will be fine!”

Just as she spoke a large noise resonated throughout the house, startling both youngsters.

“...are you sure?” the fox asked with a frown.

Well.

She just didn’t take into account the robot’s fascination for knives. And the fact he said he wanted to help in the kitchen. And his clumsiness in small spaces.

The kitchen’s floor was littered with utensils discarded to provide additional space. A pile of larger knives —some of them one could argue were probably actual swords— was scattered on the central table. Cream jumped in to stop Cheese from playing with a particularly shiny one.

“Is that...” the rabbit couldn’t finish her sentence as a victory theme from a famous video game came out of Omega’s body.

“I have successfully transferred over 82% of my personal collection to the kitchen drawers.” he said, pointing to one that was almost overflowing with blades.

“I see Cheese has good taste. His weapon of choice is a hybrid combat blade with carbon mixed reinforcing. Cheese lethality status upgraded to 3.78.”

While Cream was trying to explain to the Chao why playing with weapons was not advisable Tails walked in cautiously, a mix of worry and amusement in the eyes.

“Hey so uh, Omega… Do you know why Rouge and Shadow decided you would live with Vanilla and Cream?” he asked, eyeing the mess in the room.

“I am the one who emitted this request.” the metallic being replied. “They will be working in separate areas for a considerable amount of time. I was not considered fit to participate in either missions by the G.U.N departments. My duties are halted so I decided to spend time with Ms Vanilla and the small Chao beings.”

Cream raised a brow and turned towards the robot.

“And what about me?”

Tails started slowly walking backwards towards his friend’s room. He did not feel like handling the robot’s antics today.

A laugh track played. Omega raised a thumb and turned his head to Cream.

“You also are among the organic friends I like to hang out with. My omission was for comedic purposes.”

- - - - -

“Please stop trying to climb into my reactor exhaust port.”

That was the fifth time Blueberry was attempting to put their head into Omega, and Cream could tell he was getting annoyed.

Cream smiled. Just like in some fun memories from years ago, Omega could be surprisingly caring and gentle when he wanted to.

Or so she thought. The robot gently grabbed the Chao and opened a compartment on his chest, tucking them inside safely.

“This will be a more comfortable place for you, small one.”

Blueberry chirped happily, their emotion-dot turning into a little heart.

As if to confirm her thoughts, several other Chao started flocking from around the garden. Some poked at the robot’s appendages before sitting next to him, playing with the nearby flowers. Others climbed on him and settled on his shoulders or his head, swaying slowly in rhythm and waving at each other.

The former badnik seemed content with this sudden invasion. He started asking Cream about the name of each of his little visitors, logging the information preciously and attributing seemingly random “lethality statuses” to everyone.

Cheese was the only one staying away, their emotion-dot displaying some kind of curiosity.

“What’s wrong?” Cream whispered to them.

The Chao floated in circles and gestured to the rabbit. A smile appeared on her face as she understood the request.

“Hey Omega?” she laid down in the grass and pointed to the robot’s chest. “How did you play these… funny sounds, earlier?

– I am equipped with a central speaker that allows me to use vocal expression and sound effects. My impeccable taste for comedic intervention is an additional module of my programming.” the robot’s voice explained, almost tinted with pride.

As some Bad Company started echoing throughout the garden, Cheese and other Chao started jumping and flying around the Team Dark member who moved his shoulders to the rhythm of the song. Cream chuckled and closed her eyes to take in all the notes and vocals.

“Do you think you could play some old hard rock?”

Omega stopped moving completely for a moment before answering.

“Found Shadow’s playlist. Title: The Good Shit To Vibe To. Playing now.”

There would definitely be some adjustments to make and rules to put in place but… Having Omega around would definitely put some fun at home.

- - - - -

“Hold on, I will call you later. Seems we’re having a knife problem.”

“Yes, yes, I just got back home. Today was quite tiresome. I went to buy some fertiliser at GreenFields and...”

Vanilla squinted as she walked in front of the kitchen’s window and stopped for a second, tapping her finger on the phone.

#sonic the hedgehog #sth #E-123 Omega #tails the fox #tails miles prower #cream the rabbit #vanilla the rabbit #cheese the chao #fanfic

[onebedroomvoid]

My open letter to Star Wars Fans that have not watch The Clones Wars and are considering it

So, maybe you got super into The Mandalorian and had that one friend that kept saying a or z was from one of the animated series. And while yes there are a lot of Rebels references you reeaaaaalllyy need to start with the Clone Wars animated series even if it's seven seasons long. They swear, it's really good. You'll love it.

So look, I want to be a voice of honesty to tell you it will be hard.

You will not enjoy this show the whole time. You will want to quit. You might actually quit. It may take you three attempts to finish and there will be points where you stare at the screen in despair when you realize yes, there is yet another episode of the arc staring droids featuring a droid that speaks in a voice reminiscent of Napoleon Dynamite and a Patton-esque alien. You may hate those characters by the time that arc is out, and that is okay. It's also okay if you love them, no judgment because I love Trace and Rafa and I know plenty of people who decidedly do not, and acknowledge that is also fair.

And yes, watching them in chronological order may help. Also yes, it will be a pain in the ass that will involve consulting the watch order page constantly - at least if you're like me, maybe you have better memory - and stopping the next episode from launching to hunt down the one you need in another season and enjoying the jarring change in animation quality.

Does it get better? Yes! Definitely! It will also get worse again. And then slightly better, then even worse, and then you'll hit some sweet sweet arcs - not going to lie, I will almost grantee they focus on the clones or Ahsoka but I'm bias - and it will feel so worth it as they rip out your heart and laugh at your tears. Hell, you might even finally get to see and understand Padme as a character in and of herself and not just through the obsessive love gaze of Anakin. And yes, Anakin will be there! A lot. He uh….look I just don't like Anakin, so let's move on.

You will learn to tell the clones apart, you will start having your favorites, and then realize you will likely never see them again, and given the body count of this show you might consider that a good thing. This will also be true of other Jedi you get to meet and some super interesting side characters you encounter. Want more episodes of them? Get used to disappointment or consider looking into novels or comics. Additionally, you may find the children staring in one arc cute or annoying, but I will remind you because the thought kicked me in the gut either way, all those children will likely die come Revenge of the Sith time. Yeah, fun thoughts.

Also, also, the opening narrator will reference events in the first couple of seasons that did not in fact happen in the previous episodes. I am passing on this warning so you do not waste time as I did scanning through all the previous episodes trying to find the event being referred to convinced I had fallen asleep in front of the TV again. I did not. This was a deliberate narrative choice that has been explained to me many many times, and while yes, I understand what they are going for I don't have to like it.

But wait, you say, did you even like this show, it sounds like you hated it. Why should I trust your opinion on this beloved animated series my trusted fellow Star Wars fan recommends so fervently? And that is a fair question. Because yes, there were points I hated this show. I gave up multiple times, the words "fuck it, I'm just going to watch Rebels, references be damned" were uttered and followed through, as were "you know what, I think I'll just do a rewatch of Rebels". Look I really liked Rebels okay? Like seriously, fuck the droid arc, fuck it so much especially for that one plot point you threw in at the end that makes it so I can't tell others to skip it. But in the end, when it was all tied together and we hit those beautifully animated, scored, and written final episodes it somehow glossed over everything else and made it come together in a wonderful whole that made my jaded little heart feel things. I mean no, not all your questions are answered, but you'll be somewhat okay with it. Maybe. I mean I was at least, but I might have also been relieved I finished it.

To all the fans that fell in love with the show and got the rest of us those last couple of seasons, you're the real heroes. Those seasons are honestly what made me love the Clone Wars. But wait, you say, can't I just skip to the end? And sure, you could, but to quote a line thrown at me by many a fan, you really do need the context of the seasons leading up to them. And I'm not just saying that because if I had to suffer through them you do too. Well, not entirely. In all seriousness though there are a lot of wonderful episodes in the early seasons. There are a lot of "meh" episodes, and there are some that I might have slept through and fever dreamed, but somehow come the end of the series you truly appreciate that they got you to that point. You too have survived the Clone Wars, especially if you resorted to alcohol and drinking games for some of those earlier episodes.

And in conclusion, at the end of it all when the fan who insisted you watch this seven-season death march because it will make you understand Star Wars so much better like them, asks you in a confused note where exactly the Bad Batch is set in the Star Wars timeline, you are completely and totally allowed to punch them. I'll speak for you at court, I'll bring the droid arc as evidence.

#the clone wars #star wars #What could be seen as criticism #i mean i do like it but our relationship isn't as healthy as it could be #getting the thoughts out of my head #but seriously #i hate the droid arc #rambling stream of conscious

[everything-person]

Finding Emma

It started as a failed attempt of Netflix and Chill.

“You wanna see what's on Netflix?” Emma purred into Killians ear one night when Henry was with Regina.

“Sure.”

Killian made himself comfortable on the couch as Emma set up the TV. She finally landed on Sherlock Holmes turning it on before curling up next to her boyfriend. After about ten minutes her hands started to roam across his firm chest and strong shoulders. She started a trail of kisses from his neck to his jaw. She continued the trail to his ear and started to nibble on his lobe. 

Killian groaned, “Love, I thought we were watching a film.”

Emma released his ear whispering, “What's the matter Captain? Can’t multitask?”

“I can assure you I quite capable of accomplishing more than my fair share of tasks at once. But you deserve my full attention.”

“Then pay attention to me now and we can watch the movie after.” Emma finishing her suggestion by licking the shell of his ear.

A shiver ran through Killians body before he replied, “We already started the film be a shame not to finish till the end.”

Emma stopped her advances and sat back. Killian was completely focused on the scene of Sherlock giving his observation of Watson's fiancee. She let out a exasperated sigh. “Okay,” settling back down to her original position muttering under her breath “I knew I should've picked Charlie's Angels.”

Then as a way to get Killian caught up with all of Henry's favorite movies.

“Okay we have to start with Star Wars. There are six movies and you have to watch them 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3.” Henry explained as he started setting up the movies.

“Why wouldn’t we start with one?” Killian furrowed his eyebrows at his stepson.

“Because though that’s the chronological way it's not the right way. 4 was made first, and was suppose to be the only movie, so you have to show it the respect it deserves by watching it first. Plus the avoidance of spoilers.”

“Alright,” Killian accepted not sure he completely understood what his stepson justy said.

“We’ll watch 4, 5, and 6 tonight,” Henry said coming to sit on the couch next to his stepfather, “We’ll watch the rest another night.”

Killian relaxed back into the couch, trying to preparing himself, as the opening credits began to role.

Then it became a Disney vs Enchanted Forest 

“David I think that would be a good look for you. You should try it.” Killian nudged his friend and father in law playfully.

David smirked, “Keep laughing buddy. Wait till we get to your movie.”

“That's not for a while if we are going in order,” Henry interjected.

“We can skip all the music ones and the ones with people we don't know,” Emma suggested.

“No. We can't skip Dumbo. I love that movie.” Snow adjusted Neil in her lap.

“You would,” Regina snarked.

Now it was just a regular Sunday thing at the Swan-Jones House. They would have family dinner after they would watch a movie that they chose last week. Sometimes it was just Emma and Killian and other times it was the whole family. Tonight they were joined by Snow, David, Neil, and Henry. And Hope if the infant was able to stay awake.

“What are we watchin’?” Neil asked with his mouth half full of food.

“Neil don’t talk with food in your mouth,” Snow reprimanded him. 

“Sowwy.”

“We are watching Finding Dory. It just came on Netflix,” Emma answered her little brother.

“Shouldn’t we watch Finding Nemo first?”

“Everyone's already seen is and besides I doubt the little guys will even stay awake to see the end.”

“I’m not gonna fall asweep,” Neil exclaimed.

Everyone smiled at his determination as they finished their meal. Everyone made their way to the living room while Emma got the prepared snacks. Snow and David took up the couch while Neil and Henry camped out on the floor. Killian planted himself on the loveseat with his daughter in his lap. Emma came in placing a bowl of popcorn and pretzels on the coffee table then going to sit next to her husband. Henry grabbed the remote and played the movie. 

“My family! I have to find my family!”

“Please. All I know is that I miss them. I really really miss them. Do you know what that feels like?”

Fifteen minutes in Emma silently got up, stepped over her son and little brother, made her way to the couch. When she was close enough David opened his arms to her, for the first time Emma curled up into her father's lap and just let him hold her. Once she was settled she put her attention back on the movie. 

Killian passed a worried and slightly confused glance at his wife. David caught his eye and they had a silent conversation. Killian still worried, but satisfied that David had her, turned back to the cartoon fish. 

Emma felt slightly ridiculous. She was a grown woman that has come to terms with what happened in her life. She knew why her parents had to give her up and she was fine with it. But this silly blue fish that spoke whale brought her back to her days in the system. So right now she wasn’t a grown understanding woman, she was a lost little girl that just wanted to be held.

The movie continued. Neil at one point crawled onto the couch next to Snow falling asleep with his head on the arm and his feet curled underneath him. Hope was passed out on Killians chest. Emma's too was growing a little sleepy, her head resting on Davids shoulder, her eyelids growing heavier as she tried to finish the movie.

“Mommy. Don’t cry Mommy. Don’t cry.”

“Do you think she can make it on her own Charlie?”

“It’ll be okay.”

“Mommy loves purple shells.”

“Dory!”

Davids grip tightened on his daughter. Emma responded by nuzzling further into his warmth. 

Once the movie was over Henry turned off the tv and wished everyone a goodnight before heading up to his room. Killian also headed upstairs to put Hope down leaving the Charmings in the living room. 

“Im going to do the dishes. Are you okay with these two?” Snow looked between her husband and two sleeping children.

“Yeah i got them. I’ll go put her to bed in a minute.” David nodded to their daughter.

“Okay.” Snow leaned over to carefully kiss her husband before standing. After a little stretching she went to the kitchen and got started on the dishes they left behind in favor of the movie.

David sat there for a moment. Savoring this quiet moment with no magic, no curses, and no villains. Where he wasn't a prince or a shepherd and Emma wasn't the sheriff or a savior. He was just a dad sitting on the couch watching his two children sleep peacefully. They were here, they were safe and most importantly they were with him. After he burned the image into his memory he adjusted his arms so his hold on emma was more secure and he stood from the couch. as he made his way around the couch Killian was coming down the stairs.

Killian approached his father in law with his arms reaching out, “I got her mate.”

David turned slightly to evade his son in law, “No its alright. I’m fine.”

“You sure?” 

“I’m sure.” David moved around Killian and made his way up the stairs. Killian made his way to the kitchen.

“You don't have to do that Snow.” Killian said.

“No it's fine you guys cooked. It's only fair I help clean. You can dry and put away.” Snow handed him a plate. Which he took and picked up the nearby rag.

“Thank you for letting him put Emma to bed. That was the first time he was able to hold her like that since he put her in the wardrobe” Snow said casually. “No matter how much we rationalize it we can never quite get over it.”

“Its understandable milady. If I had to give up Hope I don’t know I would have the strength to go on.”

Upstairs David just got Emma underneath the blankets making sure she was fully tucked in. He turned to leave when Emma spoke, “Dad?”

David turned back to the half awake Emma, kneeling next to the bed. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry i had to go away.”

David raised his hand to brush some hair out of her face, “No princess. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I sent you away.” His voice cracked trying to hold back all the emotions coming forward.

“I wish we had more time.” Emma in her tired and emotional state confessed.

“Me too. But now we have all the time in all the realms. No more missing out.”

“I love you Dad.”

David rose up and placed a gentle kiss on his daughter's forehead. “I love you too princess.”

With Emma finally asleep David went downstairs to see Killian and Snow had finished the dishes. Snow gathering up hers and Neils coats and shoes. David put on his coat and shoes. Wishing everyone a good night Killian closed the door behind them locking it. Turning off the lights Killian headed upstairs and joined his wife in bed. As he curled himself around her he wondered what the next movie night would bring.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Author Note

So Hi its been a while. but um hopefully this is the start on me writing again. I hope you enjoyed this little tid bit. Please feel free to leave comments questions and concerns or feel free to message me about how awful it is. But uh yeah.

#ouat #once upon a time #emma swan #killian jones #captain hook #David Nolan #prince charming #Mary Margret Blanchard #snow white #baby neil #baby hope #Daddy Charming #Captain Swan #swan jones family #charming family #henry mills #ouat ff #ouat fanfic #ouat fanfiction #cs ff #cs fanfic #daddy charming ff #sherlock holmes #finding dory #star wars #disney #Snow White and the Seven Dwarves #netflix and chill

[fizzingwizard]

I wanted to do the Kizuna countdown these guys made but I uh forgot. And I’m gonna forget again before friday because I tend to pass out after work and dinner. Sooo... I’m just gonna do it all right here right now, since it’s the last weekend before Kizuna!

First thoughts when Kizuna was announced:

“Holy shit they’re making another one!? How long will they try to squeeze every drop of nostalgia out of us? Because as for me I’m pretty sure that well is bottomless soooo can they just go on making new Adventure movies forever and ever?”

Expectations for Kizuna:

Based on what I’ve heard it kind of seems like the Digimon sequel we would have expected... but got Tri instead. I really enjoyed Tri, though it was far from perfect, so I’m not sure how to feel about Kizuna! But I’m really excited to see the kids as adults trying to balance adulting, their dreams, and the things they care about in their daily lives.

A headcanon/theory you’d like Kizuna to make canon:

Can’t think of anything, sorry.

Expectations for the new characters:

New girl has a butterfly in her hair. She’s probably a harmless guide/informant type. New guy looks strict and apparently is rather blunt. But my guess is he’s not the big bad either... maybe distrusting of the digital world though. There’s probably more to both of these guys but Idc as usual, I only care about my children.

First Digimon memory:

Was a 10 year old Pokemon fan. All 10 year old Pokemon fans thought Digimon was a rip-off (how were we to know it was actually the older of the two, and already part of an established monster tradition in Japan!). We were also obsessed with Pogs and had fights over Pogs on the playground, which I think says a lot about our mental state.

My bro rented some Digimon VHS from Blockbuster (fuck yeah 1999!) and it was the whole Devimon saga. I scoffed and then sat down and watched with him. Then I was freaking HOOKED. I turned on the TV to see the new eps, but actually the show was starting back at reruns before moving on to the Myotismon saga at the time, so I got to watch the whole thing from start to finish in chronological order. I cried buckets when the final episode aired and mourned for weeks.

Favorite Adventure series:

does this mean Adventure or 02? or including Tri? Anyway the answer will always be Adventure. That’s nostalgia central for me. A lot of it was pretty straightforward storytelling, other seasons did more creative stuff, but I think that’s to be expected - this series built the foundation for all that. And it’s great in its own way. What I particularly liked was always the whole “kids trying to figure shit out on their own” bit. For a kids’ show, they actually did it pretty well. Usually kids in that situation act just like really competent adults and don’t really struggle. Digimon certainly had that too, but it let the kids be crybabies, be selfish, be ignorant... it was really about their personal growth and that’s why they got to be kids as well.

Favorite Adventure Chosen Child (older 6):

Taichi!! Do I even need to explain myself? I will anyway. I didn’t care about him much when I was ten. For a long time I didn’t have a favorite character. It was Yamato for about thirty seconds, and then it was Takeru for about two years. After 02, I rewatched both seasons, and suddenly realized Taichi was Everything to me. I never really went for leader characters, never liked brash, brainless, bring-the-brawn types, or stern, distant ones, cold except when showing their passion for their mission.

But Taichi isn’t like either of those. He has bits of both - he can be brainless, and he’s pretty brash, but he’s calculating too. I liked that mix, but mainly I liked that he just seemed like a regular kid who the others were naturally drawn to as a leader because he was Mr. Get-shit-done. The older I get, the more I appreciate that proactive factor in people. Sometimes you just need someone to say the thing that’s on everyone’s minds. It can be scary. So I feel gratitude when someone takes the lead when I can’t. I think that’s how the other kids felt towards Taichi - for all his flaws, he kept them going, he didn’t let them waffle and miss their chances. I like him for a ton of other reasons too but I’ll end there for today!

Favorite 02 Chosen Child (younger 6):

Takeru. He was my original fav and I really really wanted to see him be awesome in 02. Unfortunately, he and Hikari didn’t really get much development. (They still made out better than all Frontier kids not named Kouji, though.) But I loved his anger issues and his facing his trauma. They should have done so much more. I really wanted him to bond with Ken over the fact that they’d both lost partners... I loved seeing older Takeru in Tri, the trauma issue came up again when he was the first one to realize his partner was infected. I’ve never been so moved by a crying plush doll lmao. Also his fashion sense, woot.

The runner-up is worth a mention since she wasn’t part of the original Adventure group and therefore could be considered my true 02 fav - Miyako. I loved the nerdy glasses girl because I was a nerdy glasses girl. I wasn’t as outspoken as Miyako, but I could go on and on about things I liked. I loved how pure and flawed she was and I loved her inner sense of right and wrong and her frankness. It’s refreshing when so many characters hide their true feelings. And I loved her and Hikari. Hikari and Miyako are the true girl friendship in those series. Sora and Mimi are nice but didn’t get the same level of development. Of course, I headcanon they were all awesome girlfriends.

Favorite Digimon partner:

This is an IMPOSSIBLE question, I love ALL OF THEM. I can’t pick one.

Gabumon: the way he and Yamato don’t need words, he just understands him, and when he doesn’t, always assume the best and gives him space. Their connection through music. And the way Gabumon will tease him especially over Taichi XD Gabumon keeps Yamato in line.

Gomamon: the way he is just what Jou needs, someone to keep him positive. I’m anxiety-prone myself and one reason I love my job working with young children is they make me see the bright things that I used to be able to see all the time when I was a child. I never really wanted to grow up. I think Gomamon is that for Jou, the child in him he doesn’t want to let go of, and doesn’t actually have to, because we take that part of us into our future.

Tentomon: because was he not MVP of the YEAR in Kokuhaku!?!?!?!?! That was amaaaaazing. Also he is easily the funniest Digimon and I love how he brings out the affectionate side of Koushirou. Again he’s exactly what Koushirou needs.

Patamon: Because he’s cuuuuute!!! and gives Takeru something to nurture and protect while also protecting him. Takeru, the youngest, who needed to be protected but also needed to grow, got a Digimon with those exact same qualities. PERFECT MATCH.

Hawkmon: I always loved him paired with Miyako. He was my favorite 02 partner. He was grumpy and irritable yet caring with Miyako, basically the compass she needed when she felt panicky. And he was COOL. Like he had the best evolutions lol. And as the only male/female partner set (I know Digimon don’t have true genders but this isn’t a made up thing either), there was a slightly different dynamic, like Miyako needed someone a bit more her opposite than other Chosen, to help push her in new directions.

Agumon: He gets honorable mention in particular because of Tri! But also because of 02. In Adventure, Taichi didn’t have a strong grasp of what it meant to raise his partner. He and Agumon saw each other as equals - which they are - but you do see a shift in that balance as Taichi gets older. Agumon is very powerful, but very child-like and thoughtless. In 02 and Tri, we see Taichi taking care of him much more like a big brother with a young brother. In Adventure, they just played together and wound each other up. What this means is Taichi’s grown up to be quite the caretaker, out of necessity - his partner is a bit high maintenance compared to the others! And caretaker isn’t usually the quality that jumps to mind when you think of “anime protagonist” or even leader. So I LOVE it. Also, Agumon struggles to express big concepts. But he can express really important things in simple ways, and Taichi needs that simplicity when his head gets all muddled with complexity. We definitely saw that in Tri. Agumon is kinda the Doraemon of Digimon, lol.

And I love literally all of the others and could go on about them for ages. But I’ll stop here. Will continue the countdown (er, I guess I can’t call it that when I’m doing it like this) later.

#digimon #kizuna countdown