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readychilledwine · 4 months

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Runaway Love

Summary - Amren and Rhysand's sister have begun to grow closer since Feyre took her duties from her. Amren, seeing she's hurting and needing time away, invites her friend to Summer, she just didn't plan on happened next or having to explain it to Rhysand - Tarquin x Rhysand's Sister reader - told from Amren's pov

Warnings - none I can think of. Lots of italics?

A/N - a side from some Tamlin smut, we are at the end of my maternity celebration, which means we will go back to our regular updates 💜 part of me wants to turn these two into more, but that may be a project for another day

Amren watched from the hill as Tarquin and you sat facing each other in the sand. Your foreheads were rested against each other, fingers laced together.

You two had done the one thing your brother had made Amren promise to prevent from happening. You two had left the seaside Palace late in the night, when everyone else was fast asleep and gotten married on the very beach Tarquin now held you on. Married under the watchful gaze of Summer’s high priestess and the stars.

By time Varian and Amren had found you, the ceremony was done. Vows had been exchanged, the kiss had been shared, the priestess had left. You two had been there, standing as the waves lapped your glittering white dress, just staring at each other.

A throat cleared next to her, turning to her own lover the ancient being sighed. “How will you tell him,” He asked softly. “He will want to know why she refused to come home.”

Amren looked down at you again, a smile forming on her lips as Tarquin tilted your chin up and kissed you. “I will tell him the truth.”

Rhys sat down, Feyre having left the room with Nyx as soon as tension began Building over Amren's avoidance of her mate's questions.

Violet eyes stared at her, waiting for an answer to the question that was hanging in the air like a cold unwelcome breeze. Rhysand rose a brow to Amren and Varian. “Do not make me ask again.”

Amren finally answered, voice showing no signs of emotion as she sighed. “She is not coming back. She is staying in Summer with Tarquin.”

Rhysand's gaze darkened, “And why Amren, did you as her chaperone allow her to make that decision?”

Varian answered, feeling the need to defend his own lover. “Your sister is a grown female. She does not require permission from-”

Rhys growled, gaze going to the visitor in his court. “I did not ask you. I asked my second in command why SHE did not perform her duty to protect my sister and bring her home.”

Something in Amren snapped in that moment. Her loyalty to y/n coming forward.

She couldn't help but to growl at the High Lord as Varian shifted uncomfortable next to her. "When was the last time you paid attention to her, boy? The last time you actually listened to one of her mission reports instead of telling her to leave it in your office?”

Rhys opened his mouth to defend himself only to pause as Amren snarled at him. "You have not given y/n a single ounce of care since your mate came. You even stripped her of her duties to her home and court so your mate would have a place." Amren settled back into the chair, not even realizing she had stood in her anger until Varian gently grabbed her small hand in his.

"They married, Rhysand." He said softly. "Unless you plan on ripping the bride of the High Lord of Summer away and starting a war, there is nothing you can do but ask to visit.”

The High Lord's face fell. “They-” He shook his head, “She wouldn't have willingly married him without myself, Azriel, and Cassian there.”

Amren looked at him again, her eyes then lingering on Rhysand's wedding band. “There was a time where she believed the same of you.”

His head hung in shame. “Show me.”

They both shook their heads. “We weren't there,” Amren said calmly. “They knew I had specific orders and made the choice to get married in the dead of night. By time we found them, it was done.”

Rhys stood turning away and walking to the window to hide the tears that were about to fall. “Then show me them leading up to the decision. Show me she is happy.”

Amren couldn't help the small smile, a rare thing gracing her face, as she thought back to their first day in Summer.

Tarquin smiled down at Amren, welcoming her back to Summer as he motioned towards the veranda where a table was set for 4. Cressida was there already, eyes wide as she stared behind Varian.

She stood immediately, telling a servant to get another chair and moving so she would not be at her cousin's right hand. "I brought another guest with me,” Amren stated coolly. “I hope you do not mind.”

A soft gasp was heard, followed by the voice that would haunt the Night Court until they heard it again. “Amren! You did not warn him you were bringing me? You-”

Tarquin was moving to her, to his mate, immediately, taking her soft hands into his. “Y/n,” his voice was breathless as he studied you. Eyes locking on your own the second he had decided you were well. “This is the most wonderful surprise. Even the sea has become more fair in your presence.”

Amren chuckled as a blush spread from your cheeks to your softly pointed ears. “I believe your seas only reflect their master's emotions, Tarquin,” you stated softly.

“Then they calm while my heart races at the sight of you alone.”

Varian had his own favorite memory in mind. One from a night spent on the Pleasure Barge.

Varian watched like a hawk ready to attack anyone who may approach you or Amren. The two of you had your arms linked, whispering secrets to each other as he watched the sheer skirts you two wore sway in the soft salty breeze.

You had not been on the barge before, having been banned from it during your last visit by Rhysand, and the two older fae were excited to bring you to watch the activities taking place.

Tarquin had come beforehand, ensuring the private balcony you would be watching from was perfect for his mate.Varian knocked on the door as Amren told you to behave as she went to their own balcony.

He opened the door and ushered you in. “I trust you have an idea of what will be happening here tonight?” Varian led you in by your waist, holding you close to him as the guards watched. “If at any point you are uncomfortable, tell my cousin.” You nodded, bottom lip pulled between your teeth as you stared ahead.

Tarquin was standing there, his back to you two as he moved pillows exactly how he wanted them for the night. He had brought in expensive champagne for the two of you, chocolate covered fruits, flowers.

It was clear to Varian you had never been truly courted in that moment. You had never had another fae ensuring everything was perfect for you and you alone. That they had brought the best for you and you alone. He bent down to your ear, “Be good, little star.”

Amren had thought of another memory, smiling again as she heard your laughter echoing in her mind.

Varian and Amren had found a shady spot on the beach, enjoying cool wine and fresh fruits and cheeses on the beautiful, warm day.

The ocean was gorgeous today. Soft waves rolling in, a breeze cooling the air.

That same breeze carried your laughter as Tarquin chased you through the sand. The two of you had just come out of the water after you had decided a swim was absolutely a must.

Amren immediately froze as you screamed, panic setting in until she realized it was because Tarquin had caught you and lifted you into his arms. Your back was to his chest, legs kicking out as your head fell back and your laughter filled the air again.

“He's moved her things into his room,” Cresseida mumbled. “Tell me, dear Amren. How will Rhysand feel about his precious baby sister breaking all of his rules while she's here without him? Sleeping in Tarquin's bed. Wearing a Summer Crown. She is sitting with him during court meetings. Need I bring up the nights on the barge?”

“Let them be, sister.”

“Do you plan on dealing with him if be storms here with his Illyrians in tow?”

Amren rolled her eyes. “Rhysand has hardly paid y/n a single mind since Feyre came to the Night Court. She was brought here on that first visit as a distraction without knowing what was happening. If Rhys wants to be upset, he can speak with me.”

Tarquin was carrying you over, holding you bridal style as he smiled down at you. The tail end of his sentence could be heard. “Tonight then?”

“Tonight,” you whispered.

“And then they married,” Rhysand concluded at the end of Amren's memory. He sat back down, head in his hands. “Did-” his throat tightened as Azriel and Cassian walked in. “Did she look beautiful?”

“Breath taking,” the Summer general answered immediately.

Amren ran to the hillside by the beach they had spent the day on. “No no no no,” she kept muttering under her breath. “This damn girl-”

Varian shot an arm out to stop her. “Do not say-"

“It's done, my goddess.” He pointed down the beach. There, just barely in the water, you and Tarquin stood. He had both hands cradling your face as he kissed you. The white dress you had packed, the one that was lightweight and shimmered like glitter, was sparkling until the light of the full moon. Your hands were resting on Tarquin's chest, hair flowing in the wind.

You were glowing, like starlight during Starfall, as your foreheads came to rest together. Varian sat in the grass, pulling Amren down with him as he did. “Beautiful little creature,” he said, nodding down towards you. “and her beautiful chaperone should not take this as a failure on her end.”

Cresseida joined them, tears in her eyes as she sat next to Amren. “It's the perfect ending, is it not? A runaway wedding?”

Amren shook her head as you and Tarquin turned towards them, hands held and fingers laced together. As you walked, you looked up at him and only him, trusting him to guide your feet to your friends. “No,” Amren finally said. “It is a perfect beginning.”

Silence had filled the room as Cassian sat, and Azriel just nodded. “So, she isn't coming home then,” Cassian said slowly. “And our little sister now resides over a court I am banned from.”

Azriel nodded, moving to the window Rhys had previously stood in front of. “Did she say anything to you before you left, Amren?” Azriel looked over his shoulder at her. “Anything at all?”

Varian nodded. “Be happy,” the couple said together. “Be happy and take the leap.”

Amren held her own left hand up. There sat a sparkling large diamond centered in gold and rubies. “I will be packing my things as well, High Lord.”

Rhysand sighed heavily, nodding. “Do you plan on a year-long engagement?” The two nodded. “I am happy for you, both of you.”

“And your sister?”

Rhysand shook his head. “Her I will deal with later.”

Taglist - @kemillyfreitas @biancabldss @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @hnyclover

#acotar #acotar x reader #tarquin x rhysands sister!reader #tarquin x reader #tarquin acotar #tarquin

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makanidotdot · 1 month

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was looking through some of your old art and the nelf trio tags and saw you mention "But I s2g I can’t help thinking about if Illidan ends up being treated better overall by the narritive than Sylvanas I’m gonna hulk out or something" so i'm curious how you feel with where we are currently!

hahaha yeah, ok went back and found it- that was from the very beginning of BFA (it launched in August 2018 and this post was in November2018). So.. yeah I mean, today I think Illidan's treatment in game is easily one of the best- maybe the actual best in the whole series?? So it's a hilariously ironic thing to have hoped for. Like if I had said "oh boy, I can't wait to see what kind of character growth Varian gets!" at the beginning of Legion.

At the time I was thinking like, ok well Illidan was a villain that gets defeated in BC, but that obviously wasn't the end of his story, and he didn't die or lose who he was... then he got to come back and be a super fun main character of a successful expac.. surely they know how to use a very similar headliner big $$ character in the same way?

And then I basically just spent the next 5 years like

as Sylvanas just got ground to dust. And I feel like I did do lots of hulking out lmao.

That post was also the original senile Malf comic which I enjoy very much bc

How I draw Malfurion when I thought he was just a male power fantasy gary stu in a chemistryless pairing with Prize Woman that he randomly spoke rudely to that one time (but has funny wizard voice):

How I draw Malfurion now that I know he is a sweet nerd-himbo just trying his best and who blushes and cries over his wife

#malfurion #sry i have a type #it's called beifong's disease

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pennylime · 4 months

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(Click for quality)

I did the 3 artists 1 base trend thing with my bestie and this one's mine <3

I didn't really know who to draw other than varian so here we are lmao

Also that's like, one of his alchemy balls idk if it was obvious or not I just thought it was cool and it adds a light source or smth idk

Base:

I changed some stuff to help with composition lol

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acotar-taylorsversion · 2 months

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Thoughts and Takes As I Re-Read the ACOTAR Series

This is extremely long and I have been typing it for weeks now. These are just my thoughts and I am typing them as I go. If you read it, I hope you enjoy it and maybe we can agree on most things. I would really love to hear everyone else's thoughts, too! 🙂

I don't feel like people blame papa archeron nearly as much as they should. It should not have been any of the sisters' responsibility to do what Feyre did. And after reading Nesta's POV, I don't blame Nesta for being so cold and hateful towards her father.

Lucien annoyed me so much in ACOTAR so much so that it was hard to like him in ACOMAF but I really tried to like him and give him a chance when Sarah made him Elain's mate and I realized that he could have a big role in ACOWAR.

I believe Tamlin had his redemption arc in ACOWAR when he saved Feyre and Az when they were rescuing Elain and then again when he saved Rhys. But I don't think Sarah will explore his story and she might be keeping him alive right now so that he can die at the right time.

After what Tamlin did to her and then allying with Hybern, I don't blame Feyre for ruining his court. He deserved it.

I don't think Ianthe suffered enough and I think that Nesta or Elain should have been the ones to have killed her.

Elain and Az were obvious to me in ACOMAF, just like Nesta and Cassian were and I was truly truly shocked when sarah made Lucien Elain's mate. I believe that there is so much more to that night than we know about and we'll learn about it when we get to Elain & Az's POVs. I believe that the bloodbane in Az's blood was killing him and nullified any bond that could have been there even before Elain was turned. Az was shot with the arrow before they went up to the throne room and that is why Lucien showed signs of mate behavior once Elain showed up. I believe the cauldron was wrong.

That being said, I tried to give Lucien a chance in ACOWAR and he just gave me the ick when talking about Elain. It didn't feel right to hear him say that he wanted to "see if she was worth it." Like she should already be worth it. Don't hesitate. I just did not see it at all.

I think that LoA will be the one to kill Beron. Don't know why, but I just feel that she will lose it and run to Helion.

Sarah had every opportunity to set Elucien up and she didn't. I believe she set them up for failure from the get-go. She instead focused on Elain and Az. I could do an entirely separate post about Elain, Lucien, and Az.

I believe Mor and Eris are mates, especially after what was said in ACOSF. I believe that he knows that she prefers females and wanted to save her from a loveless, unsatisfying marriage. I do think that he handled it wrong. Like that whole situation could have been handled so much better.

I think the whole Mor, Az, and Cassian situation was extremely weird. And now that Cassian is with Nesta and Az could possibly be with Elain, maybe Mor can finally move on and be free and not hide anything anymore. I wish that Mor would have talked to Nesta in ACOSF and explained and apologized for everything. Maybe she'll sit both the sisters down and talk about it one day.

I think Amren and Varian are cute together, but I think Amren should have stayed dead. Sarah is notorious for killing and then unkilling her characters and I think that gets old. I believe that sarah brought her back as a way to keep the summer court involved with the night court and to have a "know it all" character.

I think that Feyre and Rhys have a true, soul mate, true love, fairytale mating bond and I think Nesta and Cassian have a more realistic one. Feyre and Rhys fell in love before the bond was accepted and Nesta and Cassian were just beginning to fall in love before the bond was accepted. Lust and attraction and the pull of the bond is what truly brought them together but they quickly fell in love with each other.

I hate all the hate that Nessian is getting. People who say that Nesta should get with Eris literally make me sick and I want to throw ACOSF at them. They obviously need a to read it again. People need to realize that Nesta was in the wrong in HOFAS and Rhys had every right to freak out like he did and Nesta needed to be yelled at for that. I don't blame Cassian for not stepping in. And people forget how sarcastic Nesta is and they actually take her seriously when she said that Rhys debated executing her. Like do yall really think Cassian and Feyre would allow that or that Rhys would do that to his brother and his mate?? Like come on now.

Speaking of Rhys, I don't think he was wrong for keeping the danger of feyre's pregnancy from her. As a mother of 3 myself, I would be terrified every single day if I knew that my pregnancy could end with the death of myself and/or my baby. Like I would not want to know. Pregnancy is stressful enough as it is, even with healthy ones. And this is why I don't think he was wrong for freaking out on Nesta. I mean, he almost lost his mate, his son, and his life like what, 6 months before that? Like I can't imagine how scared Rhys is every day knowing that he almost lost everything and then Nesta gave a STRANGER a MADE OBJECT from the trove and could have LOST IT to the ASTERI who could have come to their world and DESTROYED them all. GIVE RHYS A BREAK YOU GUYS!!!!! I love Nesta, love her to death, but she was wrong for that.

I have my thoughts on Gwyn. I think she's a lightsinger. I think that is what Az's shadows react to, just like Nesta reacts to her. I don't think her and Az are mates. I don't think she's attracted to Az at all. I think she wants to prove herself to him because he did see her on the most traumatic night of her life. I think she wants to prove to him and everyone around her that she is and can be strong. That's it. There is nothing more to her and Az other than trainer and trainee. I also think that Merrill is the one manipulating everything and everyone, including Gwyn who might not know that she's a lightsinger. I think Merrill is working with Koschei.

Even after all the books, I still believe that Elriel will happen. There's just too many canon moments for me to ignore to see the possibility of Elucien. I only say elucien because gwynriel isn't a canon couple. They are not canon at all. The only thing that elucien has going for them is their bond.

I think Lucien will reject the bond for Elain. Lucien isn't a bad guy. I don't think he'll fight for Elain when he knows that she does not want him or their bond. He won't let Elain become his mother. I think he will find happiness with Vassa and they will be like Elide and Lorcan.

I believe people who support elucien only care about Lucien. I mean, how could you think that Elain wants to be with him after reading the books?

Based on the story of Koschei, it's not crazy to assume it will be 3 sisters and 3 brothers. Sarah is a very predictable writer and this is what most of the fandom has expected since ACOMAF and Koschei being the last big bad confirms that. Especially when you add in Vassa and Lucien into the mix. Just read the story of Koschei and tell me I'm wrong.

I believe that Az is experiencing the effects of a mating bond with Elain. He acts more like her mate than Lucien does and there's canon proof of this.

I believe the only reason Rhys stopped Az and Elain that night was because 1. he was convinced he would die with Feyre when she gave birth and didn't want his court to be in this war with the autumn court and 2. he is a political figure and he is using elain's bond as leverage with lucien. I believe that if Elain expresses to him how she wants to reject the bond, he would support it and accept Elain and Az.

I hate how everyone focuses on Gwyn and forgets about Emerie. I don't understand why people think Gwyn would be involved with the Illyrians. She is not Ilyrian and even though she finished the blood rite, she has said she does not want that illyrian warrior title. After what she went through during the rite, I don't see her being involved with them in any way. I do believe we will hear about Emerie doing something more like that. She could be an inspiration to Ilyrian females. Speaking of the Valkyries, I don't think they should have won the blood rite. It was very unbelievable. It would have been more believable if they had hid the entire time and waited for Cassian to come find them when the week was over.

Speaking Gwyn again, I think most of her fans overhype her too much. I like Gwyn and I'm glad that Nesta has her as a friend because she needed that. But I don't think we'll ever get her POV. I mean, we heard her story. We know what happened to her and we know pretty much everything about her. We know that she doesn't want that warrior title and she went back to the library not even sure about going to Nesta's mating ceremony. I think her fans forget this. I think they see her as a self insert character. I think they over sexualize her way too much. I'm not saying that SA survivors can't have a sex life so don't come at me. I just don't think she's going to want to be tied up with ribbons while Az holds her down and "ravages" her. The same male who seen what she went through that night. That just makes me uncomfortable. I think Gwyn would be embarrassed by the majority of her fans.

I will another post about that bonus chapter because there is so much to discuss.

I hate the amount of hate Elain gets and the side of the fandom that hates her does not deserve her. There is so much to learn about her and her powers and what goes on in her mind and I can't wait for her book.

I also think that papa archeron unknowingly traded Elain and/or Feyre and Nesta in his deal with Koschei for Vassa's temporary release.

I don't understand how people could hate feysand or any other members of the inner circle. In my opinion, if you hate them then why are you reading the series?? Why are you still here?

I don't think that sarah will make Nesta or Elain an actual queen or high lady. I think that Rhys and Feyre will always be more powerful than them and I think they will be High King and High Queen when the series is over. I can't see sarah making the sisters having the same amount of power or say as much as Feyre. She has always been above them. That has been obvious since the beginning because she's always protected them and taken care of them.

If you guys remember my other posts, then you will know my thoughts on how I think the rest of the series will go. Like elriel, vassien, koschei, the queens, the prison, the dusk court, the trove, all that. Elain and Nesta are the keys and Vassa should be the one to destroy Koschei. Rhys and Feyre will be High King and High Queen with nessian and elriel at their sides and everyone lives happily ever after.

What do you guys think?

#acotar #nesta archeron #cassian #nessian #elain archeron #elriel #pro elriel #azriel shadowsinger #feysand #archeron sisters #rhysand #feyre archeron #gwyneth berdara #lucien vanserra #vassa acotar

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elijahs-dumps · 2 months

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The Infantilization of Wylan Van Eck (within the soc fandom)

Hi! This is my first tumbler post ever, which is like super scary I wont lie. But I've had this project I've been working on since October and I'd love to share it with people, so here goes nothing!

Infantilization or to infantilize someone means to treat them as a child or in a way that denies their maturity in age or experience, and it qualifies as a form of mental abuse.

This treatment is common in fandoms, although it obviously isn't done in a hateful way on purpose. It’s often directed towards characters who are more innocent, more kind, or more anxious than the other characters within the universe. Or, sometimes these characters are literally just the youngest of the group. Some examples of this include, Entrapta from She-Ra and the Princesses and Power, Varian from Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure, Number Five from The Umbrella Academy, Hunter from The Owl House, Little Cato from Final Space, and even Peter Parker from the MCU.

However, most of the traits found in characters that are infantilized are also traits found in neurodivergent people. These traits include, missing social cues, being easily excitable or restless, often feeling anxious hyper fixating on something (usually related to science or math), being an outcast from the rest of the group in some way, and so on and so forth. Therefore, infantilization within fandoms is pretty problematic on its own. People (usually online) think that characters with these traits should be babied or pitied or demeaned in some way, even though neurodivergent consumers usually relate to these characters because of those same traits.

Some evidence of Wylan being infantilized can include; the fact he's only referred to as cute or synonyms to that, while the other Crows or their actors are often sexualized more. People saying or implying he's smaller, weaker, or even younger than the others. And of course, people saying Kaz and Wylan are father and son... which is something I'll come back to later.

Why Wylan?

To better understand why exactly Wylan is receiving this treatment exclusively from the fans, we need to fully analyze the Six of Crows duology, which is exactly what I did!

When we are first introduced to Wylan in chapter seven (Matthias’ POV) of the Six of Crows, we see him sitting at the table and doodling while occasionally chewing on his thumbnail. He doesn't speak until Inej voices her doubts in Wylan’s demolition abilities. Jesper says Wylan “barely knows his trade”, and Kaz mentions that Wylan is “new to the scene”. Matthias also makes a comment about how Wylan “looks like he’s about twelve”. When Jesper and Inej continue to complain about Wylan being their demo man, Kaz tells them that Wylan is doubling as their insurance policy because Wylan is Jan Van Eck’s son, the rich merchant who’s paying Kaz and his chosen crew 40 million kruge in exchange for breaking Bo Yul-Bayur out of the Ice Court. This immediately makes everyone in the room think less of Wylan because of his privileged past.

This introduction sets up Wylan to the readers. His reserved body language, along with his inexperience and Matthias’ comment about his young appearance gives the impression that Wylan is more childish than the other Crows.

In the next chapter (Jesper’s POV) as the Crows react to the reveal of Wylan’s identity, Kaz tells Wylan that he’s “passable at demo, but excellent at hostage”. Jesper calls Wylan a “baby merch” and insists that Kaz leave him behind, less he slows the crew down. Wylan is annoyed that Kaz and Jpeser are talking about him as if he isn't in the room. Then, Kaz tells Wylan that the only reason he hasn't been mugged or jumped in the three months since he left his father’s house is because Kaz placed him under Dregs protection. In fact, Jesper even says that Kaz has been “coddling Wylan”. Jesper proceeds to call Wylan useless as he and Nina belittle Wylan for living in the Barrel “by choice”. This is also where the nickname “merchling” comes from. When the group continues to go back and forth over Wylan’s skills, Kaz repeats that he’s only bringing Wylan along because he doesn’t want to leave their hostage alone in Ketterdam. This makes Wylan the only Crow that wasn’t hired for their abilities, Wylan’s passable demo skills are simply a bonus. It’s a way for Kaz to keep the crew small and avoid splitting the money even further.

This entire exchange and interaction between our six main characters lays out the groundwork for the dynamic between Wylan and the other Crows for the majority of the first book. Everyone else in the room believes Wylan is just another spoiled rich kid. They make fun of him for his lack of street smarts, and the money he was born into. Wylan never really fights back too much when it comes to comments from the others, which just reinforces the idea that he came from a cushy lifestyle where he never had to learn how to defend himself verbally. Wylan’s inexperience and innocence is often mistaken for stupidity by the characters, and therefore the readers.

Kaz saying, “Always hit where the mark isn’t looking.” Only for Wylan to reply with, “Who's Mark?” is a great example of this. (Still chapter eight, Jesper’s POV.)

In chapter nine (Kaz’s POV) we see how Kaz views Wylan in his inner monologue. He says Wylan seems out of his depth, and even though he’s only a year younger than Kaz (making Wylan sixteen) he still looks like a child. Kaz describes Wylan as a silk eared puppy in a room full of fighting dogs. This pushes the concept that Wylan is more childlike than the others further onto the audience.

Additionally, in chapter eleven (Jesper’s POV), we see Jesper quite literally call Wylan “kid” during the attack at the docks, even though they’re also only one year apart. And in chapter fifteen, Matthias refers to Wylan as “the soft one” within his own inner monologue.

Since Wylan doesn't have his own point of view chapters in the first book, the reader’s entire understanding of this character is formed through the eyes of the other Crows. So, what we’re hearing about Wylan in the first book might not be entirely accurate, which is something people often forget. Part of the reason why the fandom treats Wylan the way they do is because of the way the Crows describe and talk to him throughout the entire series, The reader learns to rely on the others’ opinions on Wylan in order to learn more about him.

All of the evidence I have shown so far, and even some smaller things I haven't included, plants a certain mentality in the reader; Wylan doesn't have the same knowledge as the other Crows, so he must be weak and gullible. Weakness and gullibility are often traits associated with the “younger-one-of-the-group” trope, or the “Kid Trope”. So, since Wylan is displaying behaviors that we as media consumers have grown used to attaching to characters who are literal children, Wylan must be a child, or at least be treated like one.

However, the Crows don’t treat Wylan this way because they truly believe Wylan acts like a small child, because he doesn’t. Wylan’s behavior is perfectly normal, it simply sticks out in contrast to the harsh environments all the others have been exposed to. They treat him this way throughout the book as a sort of condescending joke, they belittle him for the stereotypes surrounding his upbringing and little else.

Still, like I said, the Crows’ mindset on Wylan is all the reader is exposed to for the entire first book, so the reader will subconsciously assume Wylan must be doing something to earn this odd treatment from the others. Sometimes readers don’t understand that it is not Wylan’s wealthy and sheltered background that makes him different, it’s the fact that the others are all criminals, murderers, soldiers, and convicts. Wylan is the only “normal” Crow on a very surface level, so his innocence is bound to stick out more.

As the first book continues, we see that there’s more to Wylan’s past than he lets on. We see first hand how smart and capable Wylan truly is, as his character grows with the story. It begins in the fight at the docks in chapter eleven, where Wylan uses his own flash bombs to help Jesper out. In chapter thirteen, Wylan openly questions and even challenges Kaz after he throws Oomen overboard, which shows great courage on Wylan’s part. This pattern of questioning Kaz when no one else really does is a common theme when it comes to Wylan. We also see Wylan explain who Pekka Rollins is to Matthias in chapter fifteen. This shows that he’s not completely incompetent, and is at least somewhat aware of what goes on in the Barrel. Then, in chapter seventeen (Jesper’s POV), Wylan expresses his natural curiosity and desire for knowledge about anything, from the mechanics of the Ice Court moat to the design of Jesper’s guns. All of this builds to chapter twenty-two, where the Crows are attacked on the ice by Grisha who were sent by the Shu, dosed on parem. Wylan does a lot of heavy lifting in this fight with his bombs, and everyone is impressed. Jesper even makes a comment about how Wylan’s “earned his keep” now.

Small moments like this that showcase Wylan’s natural resourcefulness and strength are crucial to communicating with the readers that the Crows were wrong about Wylan in the beginning. As Wylan’s true nature begins to develop further throughout the first book, we slowly see the Crows and their attitude towards Wylan change. It becomes more positive. In the future, when Wylan makes an ignorant comment, the others don’t poke fun at him as much. They’ll tell him to be quiet at most.

By the final climax of Six of Crows, chapter forty-six (Kaz’s POV), we find out Wylan cannot read. Jan Van Eck is open about his hatred and mistreatment of his son. When Jesper jumps to Wylan’s defense, he goes as far as to say Wylan is smarter than most of the others put together. Jesper is in love with Wylan at this point in the story, so his words might be a little exaggerated. But there’s still truth to them. This entire scene serves as evidence that Jesper and the other Crows have realized Wylan’s intelligence and worth, so they don’t even think twice when they find out Wylan can’t read or write.

If all the Crows’ preconceived notions about Wylan were proven wrong before the end of the first book, then why does the fandom still view Wylan in such a problematic way?

Blame Booktok

This is all mainly tied to modern day book consumption, and the obsession with “tropes”. Online reading communities such as “Booktok” or “Bookstagram” have normalized interpreting even the most complex characters through simple archetypes. This is something all six crows are a victim of, in fact, most characters within all kinds of media are.

A good example of this within Six of Crows is Kaz Brekker himself. Kaz, within “Booktok”, is often lumped together with several other male YA love interests in books, like Aaron Warner or Cardan Greenbriar . They all usually share very few qualities, like having violent tendencies, being extremely protective of their loved ones, and acting cold or mysterious towards others. Regardless of the fact that all these characters are so complex and different, from their relationship dynamics, to their morals, to their backstories, readers still often view them as one in the same because of videos online pointing out very minute similarities. A broader example I would use is the way the Hunger Games series was often marketed and discussed as if the love triangle between Peeta, Gale, and Katniss was the main focus of the story. But really it was just a subplot to a more serious and heavy narrative.

People will often focus too much on singular tropes because it makes books easily identifiable and marketable in this new era of self-publishing and online purchasing. It’s easier to judge a book by its cover if you have a broad sense of what might be inside based on the small character details or scenarios other readers liked from it. But what does that have to do with Wylan?

Well, because people often talk about books or even whole genres on a surface level, they also discuss characters on a surface level. This lazy form of consumption is what often leads to mischaracterization. People can obviously understand complex characters like Wylan, so it’s not a question of intelligence. Fans online are just used to discussing things within books fandoms in such a simple way and viewing a character through the lens of one trope. They’ll put the character in a box, and Wylan just so happens to check all the boxes for a character who would be infantilized. Even though there are interesting things about Wylan besides his “innocence”, people are less inclined to talk about it. In short, viewing Wylan as just another character who falls under the category of a simple stereotype is easier than including and discussing his nuances.

So who is at fault?

When it comes to talking about a more harmful fandom behavior, like infantilization, it’s important to keep an open mind. Sometimes, it’s the creator’s fault for writing a character in a problematic way, not the fandom’s fault for interpreting it that way. So, is Leigh Bardugo at fault here for writing Wylan in this light? Or is it the fandom’s fault for not looking past the obvious parts of a character?

I don’t think it was Leigh Bardugo’s fault. If you take the second book, Crooked Kingdom, into account then you can clearly see that the way Wylan is disrespected in the first book is something he’s dealt with his whole life, especially from his father. Wylan has been taught to believe that his reading disability makes him useless as an heir, and as a human being all together. This is one of the reasons why we never see Wylan truly snap back in an aggressive way in Six of Crows when the others insult and belittle him. A big part of Wylan thinks that the others are right about him being useless. Obviously, Wylan couldn’t have had his own POV chapters in Six of Crows, because then that would spoil his father’s true motives. However, I think the fact we didn't get to see his point of view in the first book serves another purpose. Wylan’s low self-esteem is definitely a major thing he needs to overcome in his personal story within Crooked Kingdom. So for the readers to fully understand this, we needed to view Wylan from an outside perspective. First, we get to view him as the other Crows do, as someone sheltered and weak who’s in way over his head. Then, we get to see why Wylan is the way he is. I think this sort of reverse style of character writing is really interesting and more fun to read. But still, not every reader accepted Wylan just because the Crows started to warm up to him. So by extension, this is also why Wylan is one of the most hated Crows. Nevertheless, I think the way Leigh Bardugo chose to write Wylan is inevitable for the story and vital to his character! It wouldn't feel the same if we didn't get to see how the others viewed him first.

The fault lies with the fandom when it comes to Wylan’s infantilization. But, are people online really just lazy when it comes to discussing characters, or is something bigger at play here? I think it’s both. People do misinterpret Wylan’s strong and resilient character because of laziness and the normalization of oversimplification and overconsumption within the book community. But this treatment is also rooted in subconscious ableism. To better explain what subconscious ableism truly is, I’ll be taking a deeper look at a specific dynamic.

Kaz and Wylan (are not father and son)

Despite these two characters only having a one year age gap, the fandom often views Kaz and Wylan’s relationship as one similar to a father and son dynamic. Which is understandable to a certain degree. Kaz is the very first person Wylan ever told about his reading disability. Kaz had Wylan placed under Dregs protection the minute Wylan set foot in the Barrel, which may have been for Kaz’s own selfish reason, but it still kept Wylan safe for a while. There are a couple scenes in the books where Kaz will give Wylan advice about life in general, or about having a disability, not just about being a criminal. We see Kaz take getting Wylan justice for his mother and stealing back Wylan’s inheritance very seriously. Wylan even starts to pick up some of Kaz’s mannerisms and facial expressions. All of these could be viewed as things a father and son would do, despite how small the actual age gap is. However, the fandom seems to take this relationship to the extreme, from fan fiction and fan art, to getting the characters’ actors involved.

It’s somewhat because of very minute subconscious ableism. People naturally view Wylan as younger because of his demeanor, but also because of his disability. The opposite is true for Kaz. His physical disability makes people naturally view him as older than seventeen in their minds. This is due to long standing ableist tropes within the media. People with mental disabilities are often depicted as stupider in some way, so they need to be babied or coddled. While people with physical disabilities are often depicted as very ill, or very old.

This might seem far fetched, but it’s true. And it’s quite obvious if you look closely enough at anything from books, to movies, to TV, to games! These are just some of the harmful stereotypes we see in our world every day,

How to fix this issue

Now, of course people aren’t just going to stop misinterpreting characters or stop viewing them through small scale tropes all together. But keeping yourself educated and aware is a good way to stop promoting these harmful stereotypes. Listen to the voices that are being affected in these situations! In this case, it’s people with mental or physical disabilities. Be sure to take into account what they have to say on matters like this one. Allow yourself to take the criticism and learn from their experiences or feelings. It’s important to be empathetic and kind to one another, and acknowledge that sometimes we do problematic things without intending to. When talking about characters with disabilities, it’s important to remember what they represent, and the fact that you can't always say whatever you want just because the characters are fictional.

As always, if you’re ever unsure about whether something you feel or think is harmful towards a certain community, never be afraid to ask questions and do your research!

#wylan van eck #wylan hendriks #six of crows #shadow and bone #grishaverse #analysis #jack wolfe #wylan x jesper #soc wylan #wylan van sunshine #crooked kingdom #kaz brekker

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the-valkyries-gwyn-nesta-emerie · 8 days

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She had a vague sense of Cassian and Mor and Azriel nearby, of Feyre and Rhys and Lucien, of Elain and Varian and Helion.

Interesting that Elain is grouped with Helion, Lucien's father, at Starfall. Interesting because we know Lucien has spent time with Elain’s father and now we have Elain grouped with Lucien father during a special time.

I also find it interesting Lucien is grouped with Feyre and Rhysand (who are mates) and Elain was mentioned right after Lucien.....

Was that intentional? Idk but.... it's very interesting Sarah wrote this little part the way she did.

🎨 is by ialedraws

#elucien #pro elucien #elain and lucien #lucien and elain #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #lucien x elain #elain x lucien #acosf #a court of silver flames #elucien endgame

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pantheraqueen · 3 months

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Are we really just sitting on the best Varigo scene ever? Because I haven't seen any hype for Hugo meeting Varian's dad yet. I know it didn't have any words, but did it really need to?

Because Varian racing across the grass to give his dad a bear hug. Hugo hanging back slightly with a slight smile, but nervous and trying to make a good impression all the same. Then Varian letting going of his dad, taking Hugo's hand and smiling at Hugo with the warmth of a thousand suns.

The shot lingering on their joined hands then cutting back the Dad's face. He is shocked then he smiles happily glad that his son has found someone.

Then he hugs Hugo as the music swells. The shot lingering on Hugo's face.

Just give me a tissue now, bae, because that scene always brings tears to my eyes. Seriously, I know it was overshadowed by the cut to their wedding directly after, but come on. Give it some love!

#Varigo #unreality #varian and the seven kingdoms #tangled the series #tangled varian #tts varian #Hugo Tangled #Hugo #Varian #I forgot Varian's dad's name #But I don't want to break my flow and look it up #Varian VAT7K #Hugo VAT7K #VAT7K Lore #Varian and the Seven Kingdom Lore

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minhosbxtch · 3 months

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Bloodthirsty

Azriel x reader

Warnings: SA, mentions of self harming, language, drinking, a LOT of gore

"Corn syrup. Same stuff they used for pig's blood in Carrie."

I'm fangirling like i wish i was his finger in that

GOD DAMN YALL IM HEAD OVER HEELS FOR HIM AND STU

if yall have any fic recommendations for either one (or both) PLEASE tell me

ANYWAYS back to this fic

"GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!" You screamed at Azriel, tears streaming down your face.

"WHY?" Azriel yelled back.

"YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE?"

He looked at you furiously.

Mother, the nerve on this male.

"I'll be back in an hour, and you and your stuff better be out," you hissed as you stormed out, slamming the door behind you, being careful of your wings. You could feel the mating bond wrench painfully in your chest but you ignored it, slamming a protective barrier over it.

You were about to go to Nesta's house, but you figured she was busy with Cassian. Feyre was busy with Nyx, and Amren wasn't an option. Mor's it was.

You flew in a daze to Mor's apartment as your tears started to spill over.

You banged on the door, and she was there in an instant, catching you as you crumpled to the ground.

With you still in her arms, she carried you over the threshold and closed the door with her magic.

Mor tilted your face up and brushed your tears away before gently asking, "What's wrong?"

You took a deep shuddering breath and answered between sobs, "Az cheated with Elain. I kicked him out."

Her mouth dropped open, and she put her arms around you and held you close as sobs wrecked your body.

With your head wedged under her chin, she rocked your body back and forth while stroking your hair.

You didn't know what to do. A mate was the one person meant to love you. A mate sure as hell wasn't supposed to cheat on you and be with someone else.

The bond was quiet. Each of you had shut down your side. The rope connecting you two was fraying.

The pain was nothing like you'd ever felt. It was a sharp, digging pain and a deep, dull ache.

You and Azriel had been mates since Rhys returned from Under the Mountain. You knew you had loved him before you knew you were mated. You assumed those feelings were reciprocated, but apparently not. Supposedly, the mating bond didn't mean anything as well.

"Hey," Mor said softly, "Do you want me to invite the girls over tonight? We can drink ourselves into oblivion. Don't worry, we'll stay here."

You just nodded against her chest, too tired for words.

After a few moments, Mor spoke again, "I asked Rhys if he'd ask them and let me know if they could."

You hesitated for a moment before asking, "Did you tell him to not invite Elain?"

"Of course. Oh, he wanted to ask if it was okay if Cassian and him came as well."

You debated on it before deciding that you needed their presence too.

At your nod, Mor said that they'd be here in about half an hour.

Once Mor helped you stand up, she led you to the kitchen where she gave you bread, cheese, and fruits.

"Thank the Mother for you, Mor," you said, your mouth full of grapes.

She laughed at your predicament before going to the door, where someone had knocked, seconds before.

Cassian, Rhys, Feyre, and Nesta emerged from the open door.

Your heart sank as you realized how small your group looked. Lucien was who knows where. Amren and Varian were at their apartment. Azriel and Elain were not there thankfully.

Nesta came to sit next to you, stealing a grape. You let out an outraged sound until she pulled out a large bottle of wine, pouring you a hefty glass.

“I’ve never loved you more, Nes,” you sighed, taking a sip. You weren’t lying in the slightest.

Nesta was always there for you whether you liked it or not. And thank the Mother for that, or you would've died long ago.

Before Cassian could get over, Nesta whispered in your ear, "I've got a couple more, too," she said before winking and walking away.

Cassian's eyes were soft as he hugged you from behind while whispering, "If you need a place to stay just let me know," before sitting next to you.

While Cassian was the Lord of Bloodshed, he also was the closest thing to a brother you had. Which resulted in a few people being dispatched after talking shit to you. You knew he was supposed to be all scary, but really, he was just a big, funny teddy bear.

And a hungry teddy bear, you thought as he took the box of crackers and opened a whole sleeve for himself.

"Thanks, Cassian. I'll see, he's kicked out now but I might," you answered gratefully.

Cassian chuckled and leaned closer to you before asking quietly, "What happened?"

You took a deep breath before answering with, "I don't know the full extent of his relationship with Elain, but they're close enough to kiss and fuck. He's been distant lately, not coming home sometimes and talking less, but I trusted him. I saw them kiss and then go into Elain's room before I came home."

"When I confronted him about it, he started talking about how the three brothers were meant for the three sisters and our mating bond was wrong. I didn't want to hear anymore, so I kicked him out."

Cassian gently placed a hand on your shoulder in reassurance before saying, "Don't worry he'll come crawling back."

You gave him a grin that was all teeth. You'd seen Nesta do it when she threatened people, and it'd been effective.

"Oh, don't worry, he will once I'm done with him," you said hand straying to your boot where you hid your knife.

He saw where your hand strayed and his eyes widened before asking, "You gonna chop his dick off?"

Probably not you thought. But instead, you just gave him a wicked grin and said, "We'll see."

Cassian sent a quick, silent prayer to the Mother that you never ran into Azriel again. For the sake of his brother's balls. Well, perhaps he wasn't his brother anymore. Cassian loved him, but he couldn't stand to see you hurting, especially because of cheating.

You got up and walked over to everyone else in Mor's living room, leaving Cassian to his thoughts, taking the bottle with you.

-'~{~}~'-

You woke up to sunlight streaming through Mor's shutters. You groaned and sat up, a headache pounding at your temples.

You only remembered bits and pieces of last night. Just Mor telling everyone what happened, Nesta passing you bottle after bottle-

Mother your head was killing you.

Rubbing your temples you stumbled into the kitchen where you found a note from Rhys saying:

Meet me in my office ASAP. -Your most handsome High Lord, Rhysand

You found a bottle of headache pills and took some before shrugging on your coat and heading to the River House.

Strangely enough, the place was dead before you remembered that most of them would be at the House of Wind today, to discuss preparations for the upcoming Solstice.

Why Rhys wanted to meet here you had no idea. Perhaps it was to avoid Azriel and Elain. If that was the case then he was the fucking best High Lord in existance.

You knocked loudly on his office door. You used to not knock until you interrupted him and Feyre having sex on his desk.

You had not touched anything in the room since.

A muffled, "Come in," sounded before you pushed through the door to see Rhys sitting behind his desk, his face grim.

"I'm terribly sorry to ask you this, but I need you to start taking jobs," your High Lord said.

"What type of jobs?" You questioned.

"I believe you're familiar with the type of work Azriel does?" At your nod he continued, saying, "I'm afraid I need you to start doing some as well as living in the House of Wind in case I need you unexpectedly."

"I have all of the supplies you would need like clothes, armor, weapons, and poisons ready at any time for you to choose from. Your pay will obviously be large, if that's what you're worried about."

You just nodded carefully, ruffling your wings before asking, "When do I start?"

Rhys started at you for a long time, assessing, calculating, before answering with, "Whenever it would be convenient for you."

"Right now would be just fine."

You needed to take your anger out on someone, anyone. You needed something to take your mind off him. Needed something to do so you're mind wouldn't wander.

Rhys stood up and led you through a simple door.

Holy shittttt.

The other side was filled with every type of weapon you knew, and some you didn’t. There were swords, daggers, spears, axes, bows, a frisbee with spikes, and scary spiky ball on chain.

You avoided looking at the daggers, opting for a simply decorated sword. The blade was overall simple, but the blade was a dark black that seemed to suck the light out of the air around it. The rest of the sword was simple. The hilt was wrapped in a dark, oiled leather. A silver pommel with a shimmery white opal and a silvery rain guard.

You turned around to see Rhys holding a set of leathers that had armor built into it.

You picked up a sheath and buckled it into your new leathers. You had other weapons at home you would add on later.

Rhysand cleared his throat before handing you a thick file and saying, "Here. This has everything about each person in it. You can go whenever you want."

"Thanks, Rhys. I'll put these on and set off after," you say gratefully.

He nodded before pausing and pulling you into a firm hug, being careful to not touch your wings.

"Good luck," he whispered.

Your voice was thick as you said, "Thanks, but I won't need it."

He chuckled before letting you go and saying, "Alright, get out of here before I change your mind."

You saluted him before walking out and flying back to your apartment.

A half-hour later, you had a bag packed full of food, water, extra clothes, the file, and money. Feyre had gotten you the bag for Solstice one year, enchanted to be light no matter how heavy the objects were inside. It was designed to fit around wings so you could fly with it.

You spared 10ish minutes to read the file. Arnelt Geld was a well-connected hitman that Keir had hired several times to try to assassinate the High Lord and Lady. Rhys said in the special notes section that killing him would send a clear message to Keir and the Hewn City. After him, there was a list of others that were connected to Arnelt that Rhysand also wanted dead but you would need to get Arnelt's list of clients.

In the 'Special notes' area, Rhys wrote:

Arnelt has other clients besides Keir. I want you to get their names from him and kill them. -Your ever most handsome High Lord, Rhysand

You snorted and checked you had everything before starting for the door.

You passed the mirror in the entryway. You could barely tell that was you.

You looked like a servant of Death. A full armory was strapped to you including four daggers, two swords, and an axe. You didn't know what you would use the axe for exactly... Oh well, just if you got bored.

Your hair was in a high braid wrapped around itself to form a bun to keep it out of your face while flying.

You strapped the bag to your back before setting off to Hewn City.

-'~{~}~'-

You arrived at the address in the file. It was a short, stubby house that lacked any warmth. The entire thing was painted black but you couldn't tell since the paint was peeling so badly. The windows were smudged and covered with grime.

You knocked briskly on the door to see if anyone was home.

No answer.

As you walked around the back to avoid suspicion, you got a closer look at the wood. It was filled with small holes no doubt from some insect.

If you walked out here with no diseases, then it'd be a miracle.

As you reached the black porch, you saw several straggly, yellowed shrubs. Well the state of the house, you suppose, made sense since Arnelt was never home.

You cracked open the window next to the back door and slid in silently, before closing it behind you.

Wrinkling your nose, you examined the inside of the house. The inside was somehow worse than the outside. The curtains and couches were moth eaten and the rugs are not in much better shape. The wood making up the tables and cabinets was clearly rotten and the floorboards were probably as well.

You sat in one of the chairs and propped your feet up on the table and waited.

-'~{~}~'-

After almost an hour the front door creaked open and a heavyset man dressed in something similar to your leathers walked in.

He carried a bag of groceries with him, not noticing you sitting in his living room.

You just waited for him to find you.

Rustling sounded from the kitchen and cabinets banged until Arnelt came in and dropped his bowl when he saw you.

Giving him a vicious smile you said, "Now Arnelt, I need to know your list of employers. Once you tell me I'll just leave you here and go on my merry way," you lied.

He had wide eyes as he processed your words. It took him a minute before he said, "Well a pretty young thing like you shouldn't be in this business."

Your eyes flashed before saying, "Well the pretty young thing can take care of herself."

He leered closer and looked you up and down before sneering at you, "I like 'em feisty."

You kneed him in the chest and pushed him backwards on his couch before twisting his arm painfully.

He cried out and you leaned close to his ear and whispered, "Who employs you?"

"What?" Arnelt whimpered.

"You heard me. Who. Pays. You. Do you have a list or something or do I have to drag each name out of you?" You snarled, twisting his arm more, slashing a red line across his face, one half of an X.

Crying out again, he spoke between whimpers, "There's a list in the drawer."

"Where? Show me," you commanded, hoisting him up so he could lead you.

Arnelt stopped at a rotten desk. He knelt down and opened a lower cabinet revealing a safe.

"Open it," you said poking him with a knife.

Arnelt shakily punched in the numbers and the safe popped open with a click.

Shoving him aside while keeping one hand twisting the one behind his back, you peered into the safe and took out a pile of papers.

It was a collection of files each with a name stamped on the front.

You flicked through the first one. It had a paper titled Lucille Svan. Lower on the page it showed her height, weight, a photo, an address, and various facts about her. The paper looked exactly the same as the ones Rhys gave you, except for a little sticker in the corner saying: Target Exterminated. At the very bottom there was a number for the amount of money received for the kill.

You flicked through the file and saw dozens more just like that one but a different person.

You looked back at the front and saw the name Myrthle van Sencen. Each folder had a different name on the front.

"Are these each an employer?" You questioned Arnelt.

He just nodded and asked, "Can you let me go now? You said you would."

You stuck the files in your bag before turning to him slowly.

"Did I? I don't remember saying that,'' you said, smirking. Running your blade down his cheek you added sweetly, "Are you lying? I don't like liars."

Arnelt looked confused before saying hurriedly, "No I swear you said you'd go on your merry way."

You pretended to try to remember before giving up and saying, "Your right I did. But I lied," you said as you slashed the other half of the X on his face.

Arnelt screamed and fell back against the wall. You smiled and walked closer, playing with the tip of the knife.

He had no where to go as he was trapped in the corner. You wanted this to be slow. In the file, it gave the number of girls he'd taken advantage of, that we knew of at least. A fucking 24 girls had been taken by this man and murdered after being used for days sometimes.

The youngest was only 12. 12. Someone 12 years old should be living their life. But no. This man had to come along and ruin it.

No you would make this as slow as you could as tribute to all those killed by his hand.

You wrestled him down and tied his hands and feet together to where you cut his circulation off.

Good. He deserved to suffer.

Unfortunately, he didn't have enough fingers to cut off for each girl.

You cut them off anyway and hissed in his ear saying, "Now you won't touch another girl again."

An idea popped into your head and you grinned. Pulling his pants and underwear off, you held the knife up to his dick and watched as his eyes widened.

You chuckled before saying, "Well, it's small enough so you won't miss it."

In one smooth motion, his dick and his balls were gone.

You went back up towards his head, where his mouth was wide open, screaming. You held it open and reached into his mouth where you grabbed his tongue.

Holding your knife to it you tilted your head and asked him, "Was it worth it? Those girls. Was it worth this? It better have been."

Another quick slice had his tongue gone.

Over his screaming, you calmly sheathed your knife before plunging your fingers into his eye sockets.

You tugged before yanking out both eyes, bloody roots trailing behind them.

You stood up calmly and sheathed your blade before positioning him where he couldn't roll over.

And you left. Leaving him to choke on his own blood.

-'~{~}~'-

You were covered in blood. It was all over your hands, arms, legs, and lower torso. Your face, chest, and wings were splattered with it.

As you walked through the House of Wind, you made sure to take off your shoes.

When you walked through the living room, the chatting ceased. You looked around to see everyone staring at you, bloody and barefoot.

They all stared at you like they'd never seen you before. Meeting Azriel and then Elain's eyes, you grinned madly.

You'd been avoiding Azriel and ignoring the mating bond for so long, you barely had to think about it. But, his face brought it all back, all the pain, the heartbreak, the anger.

Elain looked terrified as you turned to look at Rhys, who was gaping and said, "I have the files with employers and who they killed. Oh, and Arnelt's dead."

You wiped your hand off before reaching in your bag and pulling out the stack of files which you tossed to Rhysand. You could see the smudges of blood on the files but he ignored it, flipping through the pages.

"How'd you kill him?" Nesta asked.

You turned to her and said, "I found out that he raped and murdered over 24 girls. So I cut off his fingers, dick, balls, tongue, and carved out his eyes. Now he can't touch, fuck, kiss, or even look at a girl again," you said confidently.

Her eyebrows raised and gave you a satisfied nod. She hated men like that you knew. Because of that human and also ever since she heard Gwyn's story.

It was silent for a long while before Cassian whistled. He came over to you and stage-whispered in your ear saying, "He wasn't the one I asked if you would cut his dick off."

"Oh, I know. I just wanted to practice," you said smirking. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Azriel blanch and go pale at your words.

Cassian clapped you on the shoulder and gave you a proud smile despite the serious threat of his brother losing his genitals.

He couldn't blame you. If this was your way to cope, then he'd let you cope. As long as you didn't chop his dick off.

"Anyways, I'm gonna go wash up," you said, breaking the awkward silence.

You walked silently up the stairs and closed the door to your room before you let out the breath you were holding.

You gingerly took off your leathers and tossed them in the sink before you climbed in the bath, fully submerging yourself in the burning water.

-'~{~}~'-

It had been a month since your first mission. You had specifically asked for Rhys to send you on one after the other without returning home.

Your anger was never ending. You killed and killed and killed but it brought you no satisfaction for the burning in your heart, your very soul. So, you turned your blade on your self. Line after line after line.

You couldn't go home.

You couldn't do it. You couldn't watch Azriel and Elain together.

Elain.

Elain, who already had a mate but stole yours. Elain, who didn't worry about her weight or looks because they were already perfect. Elain, who never had to try or work. Elain, who was so perfect in every way.

Every.

Fucking.

Way.

And you were sick of it.

You couldn't take out your anger on her though. But you could make Azriel regret his decision.

And you knew just how to do it. There was a fancy ball that would be at Hewn City in four days time. Enough time for you to finish your mission and find a dress and possibly a date.

And you knew the perfect person to take.

-'~{~}~'-

Four days later you sat in a chair with Mor kneeling in front of you doing your makeup while Nesta sat behind you styling your hair.

"Honestly did you even brush it while you were away?" Nesta asked, yanking the brush through the tangles.

"No, I was preoccupied," you grumbled back, "Oh and Mor can you add some orange, it'd match my dress.

"Yeah, but you could've at least came home," Mor said from the floor, "Here close your eyes."

"Are you sure we can't see your dress," Feyre said where she was perched on the bed, already ready.

You smiled, "Nope. It's a surprise."

Nesta leaned next to your ear before asking, "Has Eris seen it?"

Scoffing, you said, "He's seen it, but not me in it. He paid for it."

"Does that make him your sugar daddy?" Mor asked, smirking.

You snapped open your eyes in horror, "Mother no. Were just using each other to make people jealous."

"Is your dress good enough to make Azriel cream his pants?" asked Nesta.

You mocked slapped her before saying, "Language young lady! Is your dress good enough to make Cassian cream his pants?"

"I mean probably. It doesn't take much," Nesta said smirking.

Mor stood up and winced, "I really didn't want to know that. Ok I'm done we'll leave so you can change and then make your grand entrance."

Nesta quickly patted your hair before turning you towards the mirror. She had done an elegant half-up style with braids running around the top of your head, making it look like a crown.

"Now you look like a High Lady," Nesta said proudly.

Feyre tilted her head and said, "So she looks like me?"

Nesta rolled her eyes before tugging Mor and Feyre out and closing the door behind you.

You sprung up and went to put on your dress. Eris had bought it for you when he offered you a home in the Autumn Court after he heard what happened with Azriel.

Your dress was mostly black but the underskirts and detailing were orange, complimenting the Autumn Lord you were going with.

You draped onyx and citrine chains along your wings and hair, giving you the appearance of glowing.

You slipped it on along with some simple black heels before rushing out.

You figured at 14 minutes late you would make a great entrance.

Eris met you outside the entrance to the ballroom and made a grand show of bowing before saying, "My lady, you look magnificent," with a smile.

You bowed back and said, smiling, "My lord, you look even more spectacular. We'll turn the eyes of everyone in there."

You and Eris had been friends since he allied himself with the Night Court during the War.

His suit was similar to the dress you were wearing, but the colors were the opposite. His suit was a dark orange, while the detailing was black.

Azriel and Eris still didn't get along, despite being allies. Eris couldn't resist taking another stab at the Shadowsinger, especially with, you, his mate.

"You know, Elain and Lucien are officially together now," said Eris, watching you carefully for your reaction.

Nobody had told you that. You also didn't care enough to find out yourself, "Really?"

He nodded. "A few days after you left for a month," he emphasized, "Elain told Azriel that she wasn't sure about them being together since they both already had mates."

"Your joking. She took my mate and wasn't satisfied?" You were outraged. She stole your mate, and then decided he wasn't good enough after fucking him behind your back?

Eris winced and said, "Yeah... I wasn't gonna get involved but then I realized that you had no idea, so I figured I should tell you instead of just letting you walk in there with no idea."

"Well, thank you so much for that," you said, grateful.

"Well, tonight wouldn't be the best place for you to murder someone. Have you heard your new nickname?" Eris asked, smirking.

You shook your head.

"People are calling you the Ghost Angel," Eris told you.

You groaned. The name was awfully similar to Azriel's name, The Angel of Death. You did this to get away from him, not to end up having matching names like a couple.

Eris laughed before offering his arm to you. Taking it, you walked through the large doors of the ballroom.

No one had started dancing yet, even though music played through the ballroom.

You could feel a fuckton of eyes on both you and Eris as you descended the staircase.

Looking to the throne your eyes met with your High Lord's to which you gave each other a nod. Next to his and Feyre's thrones, stood Cassian and Azriel in their leathers. Standing in front of Cassian, stood Nesta, looking as sharp as ever in a black, revealing gown.

Elain was noticeably absent.

You and Eris walked in front of the throne and bowed to Rhysand, who smirked above you. When you rose you smirked back before nodding to him again, saying, "It's done."

Rhys laughed, his cruel, fake laugh. The one he did when they were here. He gestured to stand across from Nesta, in front of Azriel.

He gave you a quick apologetic glance as you took your spot before saying to Eris, "Don't worry. You'll get to spend time with her plenty later."

You felt a cool, gentle, caress of the shadows. You clenched your jaw, you built up a reputation, you couldn't let it crumble just from some silly shadow.

In truth you missed them greatly, they had disappeared almost 6 months before you found out about him and Elain. Probably when he started fucking her.

Fucking.

Months.

And you had no idea. You were clueless. So naive to trust him. Even if he was supposed to be your mate, to cherish and love you forever. You were supposedly made for each other. But no. That was all thrown away for someone who already had a mate.

But you were over that heartbreaking feeling. It had hardened, turning into anger. And you let it. Welcomed it.

So you killed, and killed, and killed to fill that empty place in your heart, your soul. Both sides of the mating bond were shut off. It was still there but barely. Just a flicker.

You had zoned out. You didn't even hear Rhys' speech. Suddenly everyone started to move, to go dance, to eat, to drink.

Cassian went with Nesta. Eris approached the throne and asked Rhysand, gesturing to you, "Now do I have your permission to dance?"

Rhys just nodded. Eris approached you and offered you his hand. A growl sounded behind you. Ignoring it you grabbed Eris' hand and tore yourself from the shadow's grip.

As he lead you to the dance floor he commented, not yet out of earshot of the Shadowsinger, "Possessive much?"

Giving him a warning look, you set one hand on his shoulder, and intertwined your other hand with his. His free had settled on the curve of your waist.

"So what exactly is your plan with him?" Eris asked, leading you through the dance. You didn't have as much experience as Nesta, but you made up for it with your grace and light feet. That was probably your wings giving you extra balance though.

"Well we all know he doesn't like you, he doesn't like our friendship. And the fact we came together, danced together, and I'm wearing your colors should sent him into a frenzy. Especially combined with the fact he hasn't seen me in over a month..." you trailed off, letting Eris figure it out.

Eris smirked and said, "You truly are wicked, Little Fox."

You grinned back and could feel his hand on your waist drifting lower and towards your ass.

The first song you danced to was a slow, sensuous beat, but the next one was fast-paced and had you twirling very close to Eris' face.

At the end of the song you paused and his face was close enough to kiss. Part of you wanted to but you knew your heart, what was left of it, would always want Azriel.

He nodded at the look in your eyes before saying, "Maybe in another lifetime."

He backed away as you felt a presence behind you. Turning around you were met with the chest of a certain Shadowsinger.

He looked over your head and said to Eris in a voice that promised death, "May I steal her away for a dance, or is she yours now?"

Eris despite having to look up at Azriel remained haughty saying, "Well we'll see how long she can stay with a cheating brute," giving you a wink before walking away.

Damn him. He was supposed to get me out of this shit.

You put your hands on his shoulder and intertwined hands like you did with Eris. His hand was tentative as he set it gently on your waist. Shadows from his arms flowed toward your hand with light touches.

You looked just over his shoulder coldly, you couldn't make eye contact. All your resolve, all your resistance would crumble if you looked at those warm amber and honey eyes.

He sighed and said, "You look beautiful. Even with the orange. Like a goddess."

You didn't respond, still staring at nothing.

"I'm sorry. But just please look at me. I can't... I can't... just please look at me," he begged.

Maybe it was the way his voice cracked, maybe it was the way he sounded so broken but you looked.

Looked at those pools of whiskey eyes. The eyes that were lined with silver. The eyes that were begging, begging for you.

"Azriel, you chose Elain. You chose her over me and now that she's with someone else, now you want me?" You said in disbelief.

"I've always wanted you. Always."

"Obviously, so when you fucked Elain you just imagined it was me even though you could've just came home and fucked me. So clearly you didn't." you snapped.

Azriel opened your mouth to respond but you weren't done, "And then you have the nerve to beg for my forgiveness? Do you realize how much it hurt to have your mate, the one person that's supposed to understand you and love you forever, leave you for someone else? To find out that they had been fucking someone else behind your back?"

He was silent staring down at you with tears in his eyes.

Suddenly a male came behind him and tapped his shoulder before asking, "Excuse me, I was wondering if I could have a dance with this goddess?"

Azriel looked at you and his face changed into disgust before saying, "Of course, she's all yours."

The man grinned slimily before taking the position Azriel had been in except his hand was much, much lower. Lower than Eris went.

No words were exchanged as you danced but as the song ended he bent down and whispered in your ear, "How about getting out of here?"

You weren't going to cause a scene so you said sweetly, "No my High Lord will be expecting me."

He scowled at that before pinching your wing in a highly sensitive spot. The place he pinched was not one that was sexual, but was highly painful.

You were in such a haze of pain you hadn't even noticed he'd been dragging you against him and out of the ballroom. Your body was pushed against his in a way you looked drunk and he was a kind gentleman helping you to your room.

He pushed you through a side entrance below the stairs and against the wall where he let go of your wing. The male shoved your wing painfully behind your back and put his hand against your thigh through the slit in your dress.

You started to panic even more as he grabbed the knife you kept in your thigh sheath and tossed it to the ground.

He hummed and said, smirking, "Now can't have you stabbing me can we?"

His hand slipped under your underwear and exposed you. You tried to squirm against his grip and he laughed cruelly at your efforts. One of his hands circled around your neck, pushing you against the wall behind you.

Your mind was hazy from the lack of oxygen but you heard the rustling of his pants as he prepared to take you as his.

He never got the chance though.

Suddenly he was being ripped away from you, causing your skirts to fall back down and the pressure being released from your wings and neck.

You looked up and could swear you were hallucinating. Azriel was there. His shadows circled the mans neck and bound his hands and feet as he lifted Truth-Teller against the mans neck.

Azriel spoke, his voice trembling with icy rage, and said, "You will never touch her. You will never touch anyone again."

One of the shadows covered his mouth as Azriel cut the man's fingers off. All of them. Slowly.

Shadows surrounded the man and he vanished, no doubt going to Azriel's torture chambers.

He dropped Truth-Teller and ran to you, picking you up and cradling you in his arms. His wings came around you protectively, like a shield, as your own ones dragged against the floor.

He tucked you into his chest and kissed you on the top of the head whispering choruses of I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

You didn't say anything you just buried your face in his chest and tried to hold yourself together.

Azriel gently removed your face from his chest and cupped your cheeks saying, "It's ok. I got you. You can let go."

His hands gently ran along the edge of your sleeves and felt the bumps your knife had left. He didn't say anything but you felt him tense up.

Azriel paused and then started tracing each and every one of those scars gently. Gently untangling his hands from stroking your hair, he lifted your arm up and pressed gently kissed on each scar.

The silent tears turned into powerful sobs that wracked your body at his kindness. He returned your arm to it's previous position and gently began stroking your back and hair again, trying to calm you, comfort you.

At his words all of your feeling from the past few months caught up to you and you removed the shield on the mating bond, to tired to keep it up. Azriel did the same and you could feel the surprise on his end and his need to comfort and hold you.

And you let him.

So he did.

You let him until your eyes were dry and the wracking sobs had ceased. Still, you remained sheltered in his arms.

Slowly you looked into his eyes that were full of sadness and longing and regret and self-loathing. You felt it through the bond, through your soul.

You took his face in your hands and pressed your foreheads together. His hands reached up to cup your own and as you traced the scars on his hand softly, he shuddered.

You remained like that for a long while, until you felt grounded. And then, you kissed him gently, softly, forgivingly.

He kissed you back softly. It was gentle and sweet.

When you finally pulled away he kissed your forehead and said, "I'm sorry. I'm so so so sorry. If you don't want me or if you want to wait, I'll wait. I'll wait a hundred thousand years for you. I'll wait for you forever."

You looked into his teary eyes and saw that he meant it. You felt it through the bond. The bond that was once in frays and tatters was slowly, but surely patching itself back together.

You took a shaky breath before saying, "It's okay. I forgive you."

At your words his face crumpled and the tears finally started to run down his face.

Now you both were crying and comforting each other simultaneously.

He opened his side of the bond so you could see how he felt. How once he fucked Elain, he didn't know how to tell you. How you found out and left and he still fucked her to try to feel something, anything. The instant regret and loneliness.

He realized the stupidity. How could he turn down a person that was literally made for him. Made to understand him. Made to comfort him. And for him to do the same to you. But he didn't.

He hurt you instead of helping you.

His head was bent down and you put you hands around him and pressed his face between your breasts. Where his ear was against your collarbone.

You had comforted him through the nights in this position. He had needed to know you were real so you told him to listen to your heartbeat.

You saw movement and recognized Eris. He turned towards you and saw you both on the floor. Azriel's position looked like he was praying to you, a goddess. You had taken pity on him, and decided to comfort him.

Eris nodded once at you and left.

Azriel whispered to you, "I love you."

You pressed a lingering kiss to the top of his head and whispered to him, "It's ok. I love you too."

#acotar #azriel x reader #a court of thorns and roses #azriel shadowsinger #azriel fluff #azriel angst

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florence-end · 9 months

Text

Fairytales

Part 2 to May I Have This Dance?

Azriel x fem!reader

Summary: Encouraged by your walls lowering after dancing together, Azriel takes you into Velaris to show you his favourite place. You move one step closer to accepting the mating bond.

Warnings: a little mention of Azriel’s childhood, reader is still an anxious mess a lot of the time, absolute self-indulgent tooth rottingly fluffy feelings

The day after you danced with Azriel as part of Cassian’s lessons, you found yourself unable to look him in the eye once more. The memories of the intimacy you’d both enjoyed during the waltzes with his hand pressed to your lower back and lips barely inches apart were now overwhelming, and if you dwelled on them too much you became so aware of the buzzing bond that joined your souls, it became hard to breath. So naturally, rather than embarrass yourself further, you avoided him all morning.

To say Azriel was frustrated would be an understatement. Not frustrated with you, never with you. But with all the events of your life up until now that led you to pull away from him every time he managed to get a little closer to you. Before the dancing lessons, he had even begun to wonder if perhaps you simply didn’t feel the bond as strongly as he did and that’s why it didn’t soothe your discomfort the way he thought it would once you got to know each other. However, he had now seen your natural reaction to him when he’d pulled you so close, kept you there with gentle firm hands when you tried to shrink back into yourself, the look in your eyes when you pushed through the overwhelm and allowed your guard to drop for a few minutes. You were just as affected as he was. And if tiptoeing around you and avoiding any grand gestures for fear of scaring you off hadn’t worked by now, it was time to try a new approach.

Which is how Azriel found himself knocking on your office door that afternoon, not with a book and a mug of your favourite tea in hand, but with your winter coat and knitted hat.

“Good afternoon, Azriel,” you murmured quietly, stepping back from the door to avoid having him brush against you as he entered your small study.

“Hi angel. Here,” he responded, holding out your coat for you to slip your arms into. But you didn’t move.

“What’s going on? I don’t have any meetings in the River House scheduled this afternoon,” you fretted, beginning to panic that you were going to have to speak in front the rest of Inner Circle without enough preparation time.

Azriel felt your anxiety rise, heard your heart rate spike. “Deep breaths angel, you don’t have any meetings. In fact, your working day is done. Amren is in Adriata with Varian until tomorrow and she was more than happy to grant my request to steal you from your duties for a few hours while she’s gone,” he explained, once again raising your coat and urging you to thread your arms through the sleeves.

“Oh,” you whispered to yourself, absentmindedly following his instruction and shrugging the warm fabric onto your shoulders.

Next, Azriel walked around to face you and tugged your chunky knit winter hat onto your head until it covered most of your ears and almost touched your eyebrows. You blinked up at him in surprise, and quickly stepped back to adjust the hat until it sat normally.

“Are we going somewhere?” you asked, mentally kicking yourself for such a silly question.

“I have a secret place I like to go down in the city when I have an afternoon off, and I have a feeling you might like it as much as I do,” he replied. With no more explanation, he held a hand out to you expectantly.

Walking through the House of Wind hand-in-hand was a new experience. Typically Azriel maintained a polite distance between your bodies except when he was flying with you or while dancing yesterday. And although you felt the usual breathlessness that came with your frayed nerves, you recognised the feeling as excitement this time as he clasped your hand in a gentle but firm hold and led you towards the large balcony.

Once outside in the crisp November air, he swept you up into his arms and shot into the sky with none of his usual tentativeness or warning. He was worried he had pushed his luck a little too far in his new attempts to encourage you to open up, until he snuck a glance at your face while his wings uncurled to slow the free fall.

You were wide eyed, but not with fear. Your face was lit up with sheer joy at the surprise. As Azriel took a sharp turn towards the river, a gleeful laugh escaped your beaming lips. He made a mental note to show this memory to Feyre later and ask her to paint it.

A few moments later, you both landed on a quiet cobbled street a few blocks away from the bank of the Sidra and Azriel once again took your hand.

“Come on, angel,” he smiled as he led you towards a tiny doorway tucked into the side of one of the small stone buildings.

Walking inside, the smell was the first thing you noticed. Books. You’d know that smell anywhere. And indeed the walls of the warm, dim room were lined with shelves upon shelves of beautiful fabric-bound volumes in all colours and sizes. A few cosy armchairs and sofas filled the space in the middle of the room, facing the lit fireplace.

“Whose house is this?” you asked as you took in the cosy atmosphere.

“Officially it’s mine but darling Azriel likes to act as if he owns the place more often than not,” the amused voice reached you before the elderly fae lady rounded the corner, wiping her hands on her apron as she approached.

“And you must be this mate he’s told me so much and yet so little about. Let me look at you, dear,” the female demanded, pulling you forward from Azriel’s grasp and removing your wooly hat in one swift movement. The attention brings you back to yourself, and self consciousness threatens to overcome you. Your shoulders hunch, your gaze falls to the woven rug beneath your feet and your cheeks warm in a way that has nothing to do with the roaring fire.

“Oh he said you were a little shy. That’s alright, those Illyrian brutes make more than enough noise for everyone,” she says fondly, squeezing your hand and throwing a wink towards Azriel as he rolls his eyes.

“Sweetheart, this is Efa. She has lived here for centuries. When Rhys was trapped in Amarantha’s court, she found me walking along the river one night and invited me in for tea. I’ve been coming as often as I can ever since,” he explained, removing his coat and yours as he spoke, and moving to hang them on the coat stand near the front door.

“Azriel it’s rude to leave a lady standing in the middle of the room, sit down both of you! The kettle is on but I’m afraid I have to go to work. Please make yourself at home, my dear,” she aimed the last part at you as she hung up her apron and wrapped a colourful knitted shawl around her shoulders and swept out of the door.

“Efa runs the haberdashery near Feyre’s studio so I often come here for some peace and quiet to read,” Azriel explained, shepherding you towards the squashy sofa directly opposite the hearth.

“You don’t like the libraries up at the house?” you asked.

“Oh of course, but sometimes I want to read the books only Efa has,” Azriel gestured to the shelves surrounding you.

Suddenly remembering all the beautifully bound books, you made your way to the nearest bookcase and took in the titles. After scanning three shelves, you moved to the next bookcase and the next.

Turning to find Azriel watching you intently, you voiced your confusion. “Fairytales?”

He smiled.

“Efa collects them. Fairytales and nursery rhymes from every court in Prythian and even a few human stories,” he picked a burgundy and gold book from the shelf and held it out for you to inspect.

“You like fairytales?” you ask, incredulously. A half-second later you realised how rude you had probably sounded. “I mean, everyone loves fairytales so of course there’s nothing to say you shouldn’t. It’s just-”

“I know it’s a surprise,” he cut you off, saving you from flustering yourself further. “But I didn’t have a proper childhood. My step mother wasn’t really the bedtime story kind and there were no books in the dungeon. By the time Rhysand’s mother took me in, he and Cassian thought themselves far too grown up and tough for children’s stories. But when I was small, during the hour I was permitted to see my mother each week, she would tell me all sorts of tales of dragons and brave knights and braver princesses. Coming here, reading these books, reminds me of those times when I start to feel like I’ve ventured too far from the child I once was.”

You didn’t know how to respond. Of course you knew the gist of Azriel’s childhood but he had never been so open with you. So vulnerable. You knew he was worried about overwhelming you and although you had tried to engage in conversation to get to know your mate, you would always find yourself clamming up after a few exchanged sentences. But for him to trust you with something and somewhere so personal even when you gave so little of yourself in return…

“Oof!” Azriel exhaled as your body collided with his. Your arms were around his shoulders, your hands spread across his back between his wings and you balanced on your toes to avoid squishing your face against his broad chest. His arms instinctively moved to wrap around waist and he had time to give you one quick squeeze before you lost your nerve and teetered back onto your heels.

You quickly busied yourself with finding a fairytale to read but you could both feel something had shifted. The walls around you were starting to falter and Azriel was determined to slip past them as much as you would permit.

For the next two hours, you sat together on the sofa, fairytales open in your laps. But instead of reading in silence as you often did together in your study, you found yourselves reading passages aloud to each other. Laughing at particularly silly limericks and nursery rhymes. Describing the whackiest make-believe characters from long forgotten fables. It turned out Azriel was quite the expert at putting on exaggerated voices for all of the characters, and you had to wipe away tears of laughter on more than one occasion.

As the sun began to set outside, Azriel’s stomach gave an almighty growl and you giggled.

“Perhaps it’s time to go home for dinner. Can we come back soon?” you asked, still feeling a little nervous to ask him for anything.

“Whenever you want,” he promised, once again offering your coat for you to slip into.

Rather than immediately take flight this time, Azriel took your hand as you stepped back out onto the narrow street and began strolling toward the river.

“Before we go home, there’s something I’d like to tell you. I say all of this with no expectation and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I know you’re scared and I’ve refrained from being too upfront with any of this during the last month because I haven’t wanted to push you further away. But yesterday, when we danced, I realised if I don’t take a chance and lay my cards on the table, we might both suffer all the more for it,” Azriel begins, subconsciously squeezing your hand as you both stroll. You’re not sure what he’s going to say which unnerves you but you don’t interrupt. “I think you’re wonderful. I have waited so long for my mate and at times, I convinced myself that perhaps I was just destined to be alone. The Mother gave me my shadows and they were all the company I was to have, I was too cold and unfeeling and angry for anything else. But you have changed me, and in such a short time and with so few words. I want to be where you are, always. I want to hear the thoughts that you keep hidden through fear of taking up too much time or making too much noise. I want you to release the tension in your shoulders from keeping yourself so hunched and small all the time. And I know it’ll take time to earn your trust and ease. But I would hate for a communication issue to be the thing that holds us back so I just want you to know that I’m completely in this. I’m yours and I'm not going anywhere.”

You exhaled a long breath as Azriel finished his monologue and risked a glance at you to gauge your reaction.

“You know, when I first arrived, Feyre told me we’d probably be the first mates in history to figure out a way to communicate without any words or mind links at all because you don’t like to speak unless necessary and I’m so timid. I think she may have misled me,” you smiled softly. Azriel chuckled. “Thank you for telling me all of that. You are changing me too and I’m sorry I can’t often show it but I will keep trying every day. And I’m completely in this too, there is nowhere else that holds any meaning for me now I’ve got a home with you.” You confessed, your cheeks hot but your eyes honest.

Your slow paces came to a stop as you each considered the feelings that had finally been aired tonight. Azriel placed a warm hand on the side of your face and tiled it up to face him, bathing your features in the warm glow of the sunset. Searching your eyes for discomfort and finding none, he slowly closed the distance between you and placed a soft, lingering kiss on your lips. Pulling away just enough to meet your eyes again, you shared a smile and the bond hummed happily between your chests. Perhaps you would be the one cooking dinner soon.

#acotar fanfiction #acotar #azriel x reader #azriel acotar #azriel x you

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