#they literally all encapsulated all feelings you experience in a moment like that at the same time
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Hi! What do you think of how Yang's PTSD has been handled in the story? I read some people think it was solved too easily and I wanted your opinion about it!
Well, as someone with diagnosed PTSD... I personally love it. I think it’s a very solid portrayal.
Of course, it won’t ring home for everyone--no one’s experiences are exactly the same. And it’s not that there are no critiques. But, I think CRWBY has done a pretty good job of portraying it for two reasons:
Yang’s trauma is both a part of her and yet does not encapsulate the whole of who she is; and
Its portrayal of what flashbacks and anxiety look like, on a personal level, made me feel seen.
A lot of stories, when using the trauma/PTSD angle, have a bad habit of either portraying the inciting incident of trauma as the defining moment in the character’s existence, or acting as if it’s no big deal.
Ruby: I'm so glad you're okay!
Yang: But I'm not.
For the latter, I've seen so many portrayals that just gloss PTSD over as an inconvenience, or as something that someone magically gets over. This isn’t Yang’s story, and I’ll explain why later.
The reality is that PTSD isn’t always something people get over so much as many learn to live with it. (And, in general, I do not like the current move towards pushing language that implies people aren’t suffering from certain mental illnesses. “A person with PTSD” is often preferred over “a person who suffers from PTSD” and sorry, no, PTSD by its definition is characterized by suffering. Negating that is not woke or pro-inclusion; it’s insulting by making yourself feel comfortable about inclusion while ignoring the thorny part that having PTSD fucking sucks. (I know many may disagree; that's fair. On my blog I get to say what I think, though, and I personally find it offensive.))
How does this connect to Yang? Well, RWBY displays Yang suffering. The everyday reminds her of what she lost in her arm, and of the experience losing it. Trauma healing involves grieving, and grief comes stages. Even when you arrive at "acceptance," you still have a loss.
Yang: everyone keeps talking about me getting back to normal. But this is normal now.
Yang: Do you want me to just pretend it didn’t happen? I lost a part of me. A piece of me is gone, and it's never coming back.
Yang's trauma is literally a part of her, with her arm always being gone. The mechanical one isn’t the same, even if it is functionally awesome. I know people like to harp on this and I’m not saying the portrayal is accurate to an amputee’s, because I can’t speak to that, but as a metaphor within the story itself I personally think it works. The mechanical arm can be a weakness in some situations and even a strength in others, as trauma can be, but it's clear Yang would still prefer her arm back even if that won't happen, and that's just--honest, imo.
I also think it works as a symbol of and a parallel to Yang's relationships with her mother and with Blake. Her mother--well. While Raven may sacrifice herself in the end for Yang (imo, she should), Yang and Raven are never going to have a normal mother/daughter relationship. Raven left her for no good reason, and she's not coming back.
However, Blake does come back. Not just physically (in which they both end up going to the same place and meeting), but emotionally. That won't like, replace her mother's abandonment, but it does at least offer Yang unconditional love and acceptance, and shows her that even if some people won't change, some can.
Like Ruby says to end Volume 4:
You told me once that bad things just happen. You were angry when you said it, and I didn't want to listen. But you were right. Bad things do happen, all the time, every day. Which is why I'm out here, to do whatever I can, wherever I can, and hopefully do some good... We've all lost something, and I've seen what loss can do to people. But if we gave up every time we lost, then we'd never be able to move forward.
I appreciate this because Ruby shows empathy towards Yang, while also asking her to keep growing--because they need her, given the terrible circumstances of their world. It contrasts a bit with what Tai said--and here’s where I’ll say I have an issue with the portrayal: I don’t like Tai’s advice to Yang at times in volume 4. I do think he pressures her to grow when she has explicitly said she isn’t ready, and the idea that she should be grateful for the mechanical arm is--yeah, but it’s not empathetic. I also don’t think this is framed awesomely.
About the symptoms of PTSD... PTSD is an anxiety disorder. Flashbacks are not always literally disorienting or hallucinations, although they may be. Most stories portray them almost exclusively as hallucinations; while I understand why hallucinations work best for stories in a lot of ways, it’s not really accurate to my experience, so I appreciated seeing something that was more along the lines of what I live with. For a long time I didn’t realize I was having flashbacks until my therapist explained that it doesn’t mean a hallucination; I find them disorienting but I'm very aware of where I am and that I'm not in the situation during one; it just feels like I am. They are moments when you are triggered to the extent where you absolutely cannot resist the terror you felt during the trauma storming your mind, and it feels emotionally as if you’re reliving it at the moment. This may include a hallucination. It also may not.
Yang's flashbacks (like when she drops the glass in the kitchen) were clearly her experiencing anxiety, but not full hallucinations. Yang’s nightmares were also very accurate to what PTSD is like in my experience: they’re not always (if ever) exact recountings of what happened (though again, I see why stories often portray them this way). They’re similar situations, where you do relive the trauma, but like any dream they blend facts and ideas across time.
I don’t think Yang’s PTSD is depicted as being over--it’s more just that Yang has mostly completed her arc and we have other characters to focus on. It’s also likely to come up a bit again whenever Raven reappears. Possibly in Volume 9. I also think this argument misses the complex factor: Yang’s trauma does not begin and end with Adam. She’s been traumatized since she was a kid, since Raven abandoned her, and Adam was a sudden inciting incident that brought a lot of issues to the surface. But it wasn’t the sole cause. Yang’s been struggling to cope with trauma since Season 1 (or even since the “Yellow” trailer). She’s still learning.
And that is how PTSD recovery goes: you learn better coping mechanisms. Yang has learned better coping mechanisms, and having a partner in Blake is actually very much a realistic portrayal of something that can help alleviate PTSD symptoms. Again, I don’t think Yang has gotten over it, but she’s learned to live with it. Her arm is always gone. Adam is gone. Her mother is not the mother she deserves. But she has Blake, and Ruby, and Weiss, and Qrow, and others.
And isn’t that what RWBY’s about: continuing on in the face of loss, when things will never be the same, because some things can still be better?
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NSFW Alphabet: The Beomgyu Edition
cw: cum play - facials, creampies; dirty talk; exhibitionism/voyeurism; recording kink; humiliation; pain play; edge play; oral sex
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
depends on the kind of sex he's just had
if it was a quickie in public, he'll be full of energy, fidgety and hyped up from having gotten away with something
if it was a longer, at-home session, expect him to lean more lazy and snuggly
actual aftercare is usually the two of you taking care of each other
you learn real quick that you need to have dead drops of wet wipes and blankets in every room of your home, because there’s no way you’re getting into the shower or going anywhere at all after sex, no matter how messy it got
soft little kitten yawns as he wipes his cum off your face, little kisses to your nipples as he bundles the both of you up for a nap and buries his face in your chest
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
he knows all he has to do to get what he wants is flutter those pretty eyelashes of his
if you asked him, he’d probably say he loves your ass while feeling you up and laughing
but his actual favorite part of you is your mouth
he loves the way it looks screwed up in a cute little pout or stretched out around his cock
he loves the soft curve of your smile, the flash of teeth when you laugh, the soft pink of your tongue when you stick it out sulkily at him
his feelings about your mouth are kind of a perfect encapsulation of the way you make him so horny, but so tender at the same time
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
loves to cum on your face and make a mess of you—especially if you're wearing makeup to get smeared around
also loves to cum inside of you and make you spend the rest of the day with his cum leaking out of you—he might let you keep your underwear so you can feel it soaking through as the day goes on, or he might take your underwear to keep as a souvenir so that you have to feel it dripping down your thighs and staining your clothes
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
he's so goddamn shameless, literally the only thing that gets him flustered is admitting that he wants it soft and sweet once in a while
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
i feel like he's forward enough that he's had some experience, he's probably with Yeonjun on the more experience end of things
but i can also see him being so blunt that he just cheerfully crashes and burns more often than he scores
either way, though, i think he's fairly confident about what he's doing—he knows how to play and have fun, and he's pretty sure he can figure out everything past that along the way
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
loves positions where you can both put your hands all over each other and sink your teeth into each other
you riding him while he’s sitting up or him fucking you while you’re sat up on a counter or desk
also loves to fuck you while he's got you pinned against a wall, your arms and legs wrapped around him
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
loves to get playful and weird
with Beomgyu, sex bleeds into day-to-day activities all the time, so it's often light-hearted and fun
sometimes playful to the point of actually being a game—he's not above wagering blow jobs and spankings on things like who wins the next round of Mario Kart or which one of you can longboard the furthest down the street
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
definitely has a bush and does not give a fuck
he'll trim if you let him know that you'd prefer it shorter—especially if it means more blowjobs—but don't expect if to be consistent or especially neat unless you're helping out yourself 😂
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
doesn't usually do soft and romantic during sex—the closest you can hope to get is a lot of crude, filthy praise and whiny expressions of neediness
talks about how perfect you are, how filthy you are, you were practically made for him
if you're topping, expect whining about how badly he needs you, how good he'll be for you, how he'll do anything for you
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
Beomgyu’s the kind of person who jerks it all the time—it doesn’t even necessarily have anything to do with him having a high sex drive, it’s just something to do when there’s nothing else to do
is he fidgety and tense? is he bored? is he just waiting for you to call him back? his hand just drifts down his pants automatically
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
RECORDING KINK: loves both the act of recording/taking pictures during sex, and going back to look at/rewatch old photos and videos; it's a way of feeding into his exhibitionist/voyeuristic tendencies without dragging another person in, and the fact that there's evidence of what you've done together really heightens the risk, and thus the excitement, for him
exhibitionism
humiliation
marking: definitely ties in with his exhibitionist streak and his humiliation kink
pain play, giving and receiving: he loves rush that comes with a little bit of pain
roleplay
edgeplay
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
anywhere you can get caught 😌
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
you being a brat
stupid dares and competitions
the way you smell
having his hair pulled
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
any dynamic that lasts more than twenty-four hours
there's probably not much that's an immediate, hard no; i feel like he'd be really willing to push it, kink-wise—things that fall under edgeplay are definitely negotiable, if not things he's actively wanting to try
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
loves to go down on you, but will readily admit that he loves you going down on him more
loves having his balls licked and sucked; they're not especially sensitive, he just loves the visual, loves how it looks even more degrading than you actually sucking his cock
if you let him fuck your throat, he might propose right then and there
another messy eater—more enthusiasm than technique, but goddamn, is it a lot of enthusiasm
a bratty tease when it comes to sucking you off—likes to make a lewd, messy show of it. expect lots of tongue, lots of drool if he's giving a blow job.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
might occasionally slow things down to tease you, but his default setting is 'gotta go fast'
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
loves quickies—his spontaneity and love for risk means you're having a lot of them
wouldn't really consider them a replacement for proper sex, but an important part of a balanced sexual diet nonetheless
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
literally this entire alphabet is about how much he loves weird, high-risk sex, so YES
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
he's a one or two round kinda guy, but can make those rounds last a while if he wants to
Gyu has pretty good stamina, but also love quickies, so he's figured out how to bust on command basically 😂
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
thinks the idea of toys is very hot, but it just doesn't work with his preferred way of fucking like. 90% of the time
using toys during sex requires you to (a) have them around and (b) remember that you have them
would love to walk in on you using toys yourself and just take over and tease you until you're an overstimulated, crying mess
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
not that much, actually
the tease in him probably only really comes out when there's a risk of getting caught, when you're out in public or with friends—then he loves to see you squirm
otherwise, his preferred method of torment is probably overstimulation over teasing
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
with his propensity for very public sex, he's learned how to be fairly quiet
mostly low groans and sharp panting breaths in your ear
loves to talk dirty, though, his voice low and hissing in your ear through gritted teeth
expect alternating praise and degradation and teasing about being caught
if you're domming, you'll get a lot of whining, maybe even some begging if you're mean enough
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Beomgyu would absolutely offer to share your nudes/sex tapes with another member as like. a birthday present or in an effort to cheer them up
he pretends he does not understand why this is weird
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
you look at that pretty face and you expect a pretty dick
that is not what you get
very thick and veiny, thickest at the base with a narrower, ruddy head that has distinctive upward curve
it's not a dick made for aesthetic kitten-lick blowjob videos, it's a dick made for shaky face-fucking videos
really low hanging balls
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
pretty high!
he's got an overactive imagination that wanders to sex a lot when something else doesn't have his focus
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
varies depending on where/when you fucked
if it wasn't a quickie and you're some place comfortable where you can sleep, though, he'll drop pretty quick
#beomgyu smut#txt smut#will i ever write anyone who doesn't love going down#absolutely not pussy is great#alphabet🔞#txt👾
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Dasey fic recs from 2008-2010
I’ve been procrastinating and somehow this led me down the rabbit hole of digging up old Dasey fics. Here’s a short and very random rec list of some of those. (Definitely not exhaustive; this fandom has a disproportionate number of great fics.) I provided AO3 links where they exist because, wow, fanfiction.net is decaying before our eyes.
How Emily Davis Got Her Groove Back by unoriginal_liz (43k, T); read on AO3 or fanfiction.net: "I'm beyond a Shleppette! I'm the uber-Shleppette! There are no depths to which I will not Shlep!"
This is, like, THE fic. It is even better than I remembered. Rereading it in 2021, I laughed and felt all the feelings and was utterly delighted by the whole thing. This should be required reading. Dasey is a background ship but it’s an amazing Dasey subplot. (There seems to be some issue with some missing text in the AO3 version, but it doesn’t really mess up anything but the flow.)
Tapedeck by sparzelli (6.5k, T): She experiences the most curious emotion then. She can feel something slide into place in her head, and then it’s like they’ve been this way their whole lives. It's not real, but it sort of feels like comfort. CxD
I always remember this fic for being a little angsty and having a strong atmosphere. It’s still quite vivid and a different Casey characterization than I often see/write, and the tension threaded through the fic is so good.
The Perils of Alphabetical Seating by TheBucketWoman (3k, T): "They'd agreed to be “friends” which, everyone but Casey knew, didn't mean that they would ever really be at ease with each other." Dasey and featuring, well, someone who used to be with Casey.
This is a Max POV story and it’s really well done. I love how it encapsulates a particular moment and gives such a strong feeling of high school. Dasey through someone else’s eyes is always good, too.
What We Did On Our Summer Vacation by hayseed42 (74.5k, M mostly for language): Nora said their summer trip to the country was going to be an adventure. She didn't mean it quite so literally, but when have Casey and Derek ever been any good at doing what they're told? A slow-building Dasey.
This is a fantasy adventure fic that I’ve never forgotten, but I had to do some digging to find again. It’s just as fun and fast-paced as I remembered, and with great character and ship development. (Content warning for one instance of offensive language referring to disability in Chp. 7.)
A Study in Desire by WhenLightningStrikes / youcallitwinter (1.5k, T); read on AO3 or fanfiction.net: Someone should really look into naming a pathological condition after her.
One thing I really miss from fandom in the past was these smaller character study-type pieces. This one really achieves a lot in grounding the plot in Casey’s headspace, and the ending strikes the perfect note.
Two Ways It Could Have Happened, One Way It Did by justfallapart (700 words, K+): Two ways Derek Venturi could have met Casey McDonald, and the way he actually did.
Like I just mentioned, I miss these smaller character studies. This one explores the common agreement in this fandom that Derek Venturi fell in love first, and in just 700 words encapsulates all the angst you feel because of that.
back to the border by avocadomoon (4k, T): Casey makes the Dean's list. Derek takes up smoking.
I mean, everyone’s read this fic, right? But it was so definitive for the fandom that a Ye Olde Dasey Fic Recs post (even a short, random, and non-comprehensive one) would be incomplete without it. I still remember reading this for the first time. Each scene is so well-drawn, both perfectly connected to the show and establishing its own universe and tone. It’s efficient and elegant and amazing.
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I deeply appreciate how ATLA depicts all the main characters responses to trauma. Aang’s, for me, however, stands out for its rareness in media. And we are not hammered over the head with the idea that Aang (or any other characters) repeatedly act certain ways because of a single traumatic event. Sure, there are key moments in our lives when a certain event comes to the forefront, but no one experiences the world as constant flashbacks. Rather, we see only in retrospect the way our sarcastic sense of humor or our heightened friendliness were protective responses to a deep emotional injury.
Being able to understand Aang’s approach to loss is essential for the show. The structure of the series is founded on his arc (despite an incredible foil provided by Zuko). Our little air nomad initially confronts the loss of his people with a full-on meltdown in the episode “The Southern Air Temple,” where Katara’s offering of familial belonging soothes him. But this kind of outburst is not Aang’s primary response (and actually the literally out-of-character apocalyptic tantrums align with Aang’s overall process of grieving). Instead of constantly brooding (hey Zuko!), Aang leans heavily toward the monk’s pacifist teachings and toward his assumed destiny “to save the world.” He becomes overtly accommodating and joyful, constantly trying to see “the good” in everything with a perfectionist’s zeal. This is not to ascribe his bubbliness only to his trauma. Rather, he comes to emphasize this part of his personality for reasons related to the negative emotions he struggles to face.
Book 1: Water
In the first season, Aang is simply rediscovering his place in the world. “Water is the element of change. The people of the water tribe are capable of adapting to many things. They have a sense of community and love that holds them together.” This is vital to Aang as he initially faces his experience. He won’t get through this if he is not prepared for his life to change. Even if he hadn’t been frozen for 100 years, his world would never be the same. This fact involves eventually finding new people that he feels safe with. After such a massive loss, he’s learning who to trust, and also often making mistakes; not only does he find Sokka and Katara (and I’d argue he’s actually slow to truly open up to them), this is the season where he helps save a fire nation citizen who betrays him to soldiers, befriends the rebel extremist Jet, and attempts to befriend an actively belligerent Zuko (his moral complexity had only JUST! been revealed to the kid!). He’s constantly offering trust to others and seeking their approval in opposition to the deep well of shame and guilt he carries as a survivor of violence.
This is also the season where Aang swears off firebending after burning Katara in an overeager attempt to master the element (one will note how fire throughout the series is aligned with, above all else, assertiveness and yang). Aang is so eager to be seen as morally good to others that he refuses to risk any possible harm to them. And asserting himself carries a danger, in one sense, that he might make a mistake and lose someone’s positive regard, and, in another sense, that he is replicating the anger and violence he’s witnessed. He has no relationship to his anger at this stage of his grief, so it comes out uncontrollably, both in firebending and the Avatar State. It’s through the patience of his new family that he can begin to feel unashamed about his past and about the ways his shame is finding (sometimes violent) expression in the present.
Book 2: Earth
In the second season he begins to trust himself and stand his ground. Earth, after all, is the element of substance, persistence, and endurance. The “Bitter Work” episode encapsulates how Aang must come to a more sturdy sense of his values. First, there is the transition of pedagogical style. While Katara emphasized support and kindness, Toph insists on blunt and threatening instruction, not for a lack of care towards Aang. Instead, it’s so Aang learns how to stop placing the desires of others above his own--to stop accommodating everyone else above his own needs. Toph taunts Aang by stealing one of the few keepsakes from the monastery that he holds onto. This attachment to the lost airbending culture is echoed in the larger arc with Appa. And, by the end of this episode, it is Aang’s attachment to Sokka that allows him to stand firm. This foreshadows the capital T Tragic downfall in the “Crossroads of Destiny.” Aang gives up his attachment to the other member of his new found family, Katara, despite his moral qualms. Although he has access to all the power of the Avatar state, his sacrifice is not rewarded. Season 2 illustrates Aang coming to terms with his values. He is learning about what he stands for, what holds meaning to him.
Understanding himself also includes integrating his grief, and there’s a lonely and dangerous aspect to that exploration. We see Aang’s anger and hopelessness over longer stretches rather than outbursts in this season. It’s hard to watch and hard to root for him. That depressive state leads to actions that counter his previous sense of morality, as he decisively kills an animal, treats his friends unkindly, and blames others for his loss. Letting these harsher feelings emerge is an experiment, and most people discover their boundaries by crossing them.
Finding ways to hold compassion for himself, even the harm he causes others, is the other side of this process. Our past and our challenging emotions are a part of us, but they are only a part. Since Aang now has a strong sense of community and is learning to be himself rather than simply seeking validation, we also see him having more healthy boundaries with new people. He’s no longer befriending villains in the second season! He’s respectful and trusting enough, but he’s not putting himself in vulnerable situations nor blindly trusting everyone. Instead, he’s more likely to listen to his friends’ opinions or think about how the monks might’ve been critical towards something (they’re complaints about Ba Sing Se, for example). By knowing what he cares for, he can know himself, the powerful, loving, grief-struck monk. And he can trust that, though he might not be everyone’s favorite person, he does not need to feel ashamed or guilty for who he is or what he’s been through.
Book 3: Fire
However, despite a sense of self and a sense of belonging, Aang and the group still find themselves constantly asking for permission throughout their time in Ba Sing Se. It’s in the third season, Fire, that initiative and assertiveness become the focus. And who better to provide guidance in this than the official prince of “you never think these things through,” Zuko. It’s no longer a time for avoidance or sturdy defensiveness. It is the season of action. Fire is the element of power, desire, and will, all of which require us to impact others. We see the motif of initiative throughout the season: the rebels attempt to storm the Firelord on the Day of the Black Sun; Aang attempts to share his feelings and kiss Katara; Katara bends Hama and a couple of fire nation soldiers to her will. In each of these examples, the initiators face disgrace. Positive intent does not bring forth success, by any means, only more consequences to be dealt with. This is perhaps Aang’s biggest challenge. He is afraid that his actions will fail, or worse, they will succeed but he will be wrong in what he has chosen. The sequencing in the series, here, is important. We have already seen how Aang has worked to care for (and appreciate) the well-being of others and how he has learned to care for his own needs. With this in mind, he should be able to trust that his actions will derive from these wells of compassion. But easier said than done. Compassion can also trap him into indecision, hearkening back to his avoidant mistake in the storm, in which the whole mess began. Aang’s internal conflict, here, becomes more pronounced as the finale draws nearer.
I think it’s especially significant that we witness Aang disagreeing with his mentors and friends. He must act in a way that will contradict and even threaten his sources of support if he is to trust his own desires. Even the fandom disagrees about the choice Aang makes, which further highlights the fact that making a decisive choice is contentious. There is no point in believing it will grant you love or admiration or success. For someone who began (and spent much of) the series regularly sacrificing himself just to bring others peace, Aang’s decision to prioritize his own interests despite the very explicit possibility of failure is the ultimate growth his character can have and the ultimate representation of him processing his trauma. (This arc was echoed and made even more explicit in many ways with Adora in the She-ra finale.) The last significant time Aang followed his desire, in his mind, was when he escaped the Air Temple in the storm. To want something, to trust his desire and act on it, is an act of incredible courage for him, and whether it succeeded or failed, whether anyone agrees or disagrees with it, it offered Aang a sense of peace and resolution. Now I appreciate and love Zuko’s iconic redemption arc, but Aang’s subtler arc, which subverts the “chosen one” narrative and broke ground to represent a prevalent emotional experience, stands out to me as the foundation for the show I love so much.
#aang#avatar the last airbender#trauma#ptsd#cptsd#atla#atla meta#zuko#redemption arc#adora#spop#catradora#catra#also no one will read this far in the tags but this is phoebe buffay's arc on friends
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I wanted to seek out this post by @gallusrostromegalus because the storytelling segment of it perfectly encapsulates one of my personal favorite horror moods, which I’d like to summarize as “two-way cosmic horror”.
Really, a fairly significant chunk of our emotional health rides on our concept of normal. This is because ‘normal’ is, in and of itself, the all-clear our brain sends in its endless subroutine of adding up our environment and answering the question, “am I safe?”
Wild animals- or really any creature we’re not commonly exposed to- jangle with this calculation. Something is off. Something is wrong. It may be a bunch of jackrabbits standing up on their hind legs. These things are so primally evocative they can be simply relayed to us and make our skin crawl.
But the beautiful trick of it is that this ever-precious normality is subjective. It actually isn’t literally bound only to what will and won’t hurt us. We aren’t omniscient to the notion of danger. We play pattern recognition. The familiar seems safe- whether or not it is. The unfamiliar seems dangerous- whether or not it is.
And I love this sort of enlightenment of the perspective broadening- or, alternatively, I love writing stories from the perspective of characters whose sense of normal is one way or another very unlike our own. Through the eyes of the jackrabbit we can imagine for a moment, the sight- first of an incredible monster, a dreadful predator, all slavering jaws, vicious teeth and swift, strong legs, a thing larger than you- and then, with growing dread, the realization of a bind, a tether, wrapped to the limb of a creature that stands almost the same way you do, its alien face unreadable, a willing self-created hostage to the Beast- or perhaps, worse, a thing that commands it, a master whose threats are not remotely as obvious or discernible as the monster that you know.
It comes, I guess, to what I think is the greatest thing about art: that each of us lives every single moment of our lives in private emotional worlds, spheres of our thoughts and experiences and the inextricable, unexplainable tangle of everything that has made us uniquely ourselves, and that no one will ever feel the exact same way that we feel about anything- but through the power of art, when the magic works, for a single moment, we can breach these realms and feel someone else’s emotions as viscerally and clearly as if we invoked some part of the author, or character, directly into ourselves.
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My Top 8 Best Acting Moments from Aidan Gallagher!
Thank You to Anonymous for Requesting
Analysis Below
>>Warning: This is a giant post, so don’t click “read more” unless you genuinely want to read more. Otherwise, you’ll be scrolling for a long-ass time. This analysis covers the acting, psychology, and writing genius of Five Hargreeves.<<
So, this may be the lowest on this list, but it is by no means his weakest acting scene. My god, this scene is incredible because of the accuracy given the age and, henceforth, the experience of the actor.
Acting is effective if the person is able to accurately tell a truth whilst in imaginary circumstances. In order to act powerfully, we are commonly taught to connect complicated emotional situations to something we know well and, therefore, can portray well.
For many, being drunk isn’t anything new. And being tipsy isn’t exactly uncommon to act out. But for a fourteen-year-old, this is awesome to see because it is incredibly accurate. And, given the character’s psychological/emotional status, it’s even more impressive.
Here’s why:
So, right off the bat, listening to Aidan’s speech is something awesome. His clear yet natural slurring, his guttural tone: these two things are perfect indications of intoxication, since volume control is practically gone and drunk people don’t think things through. They just talk, and talk, and stumble because their inhibitions are so low.
It’s can really be heard, best, when he says, “she said it makes me surly” and when Diego whips around, he says, “hmm?”
Another thing that makes this so fun to watch is the fact that Aidan is completely lax. Being carried is one sign of that, yes, but even his subtle movements are loose. He did his homework, not only for the vocalization of someone who is drunk, but also for their movements.
Look how loose his movements are. He just tosses his hand up, lets it drop back down, and his head is too heavy, flopping all around. Completely uncoordinated and smooth, which is a bright contrast to Five’s usual coordinated, sharp, and calculated movements. The character is relatively rigid, which makes sense given his psychology and traumas.
Speaking of traumas.
There is this beautiful, subtle self-soothing movement going on right here. It’s a clear comfort to him, and after the night he has had, and the trauma he has endured, it makes perfect sense for him to be clinging to her as such. Whether Aidan knew what he was doing with this, I can’t say, but what I can say was that it was a fantastic choice of action to follow through with.
KEY NOTES: Acting drunk is all about fluidity. You make yourself as liquid-y as possible. Become one with the water, though not in an elegant way. Rather, become the cup that’s just tipped over. Water is spilling over the side, getting everywhere, aimlessly spreading across the tabletop. It’s a mess, it has no direction nor stability, etc.
Aidan follows through with this beautifully. I could gush about this all day, just as I could with so much of his acting. Acting drunk is hard, even for some adults. Luckily, he has it on his side that Five is so completely opposite of what we see here, that him being so flimsy and giggly is strange as shit.
Additionally, if you’re ever needing to act drunk, do the opposite of your character, given the script allows it. If the character is normally very carefree and lighthearted, become the depressed, crying drunk, or the angry drunk. Or, like Aidan, if your character is normally rigid, become a giggling mess that can’t take shit seriously.
On to the next, where it’s more about the psychology of a character rather than the physical acting of the actor...
This scene. This was the moment that made me realize just how much I adored Five when he’s absolutely batshit. Unlike most of this list, where internal conflict and monologue drives for an impressive performance, in this case, it is the external conflict and monologue that makes this scene fantastic!
Here’s why:
It is an absolute rollercoaster of emotions for Five Hargreeves.
Seriously, this guy is leaping from emotion to emotion, bouncing between frustration to borderline panic to bitter glee to mania to relief. You can practically see the gears turning in Aidan’s head throughout the entire scene as he throws Five through the ringer.
So, from the top, we’re given this glorious moment, both a genius writing move and fantastically acted.
The vending machine.
I know a lot of people are like, “hell yeah” because Aidan gets to say “fuck”, or because he’s just off the shits. There are many reasons to love this scene. But I especially love this scene because it’s really introducing to the audience exactly what’s going to happen: intensity, violence, and Five snapping, losing his cool in a lapse of fear and frustration and desperation. And it’s beautifully encapsulated in this one fucking scene.
Aidan’s acting here might seem easy, and in a sense, it is. It’s easy to ram your shoulder against a vending machine and shake it and get mad. But what isn’t easy is knowing why you’re doing this, and feeling it. Just from observation and process of elimination, Aidan’s likely mostly a method-based actor. He bases his acting, and his characters, in his own reality. That means that, if Five is panicked, Aidan will force panic upon himself. He’ll induce an emotion physically to get a psychological and emotional reaction.
And here, it’s clear that whatever he was thinking out, however he had prepped for this scene, was working. Because you can freeze these frames and, sure, see funny faces. But you’ll also see flashes of fear, of desperation, of panic, of anger. Fear and panic because he may fail his siblings, he may not be able to save them. Desperation because he needs this to work, he is going to murder all these people and so he needs it to work. And anger because the Handler is making him do this again; he’s right under her thumb once more.
All of these emotions, every damn one, is played out in this one. fucking. scene. And that’s insane.
Those emotions come to a head here:
Aidan’s deep, stabilizing breath grounds Five. He has gotten his rage and desperation and fear out. Now, there’s only one thing for Five to do: murder the Board. And it’s an instant click here.
There’s the deep breath. The understanding. The resignation to what needs to be done.
Then a head turn.
Then boom. Look carefully. You can see the light drain from his eyes, see the hesitation bleed out right there. Right there. All within a breath, head turn, a beat, then a face forward.
That is some intense grasp on your physicality, your emotions, and your portrayal of those emotions. Aidan’s always been fantastic at emoting, but subtle scenes like this just prove his class in it. It’s incredible to see.
And then this scene:
This shit is actually an amazing move on Aidan’s part. It holds both literal and metaphorical weight: he sighs, from exhaustion, because Five is fucking tired after jumping that much, expending that much energy in a short amount of time, and narrowly letting his target escape. But it’s also showing a mental exhaustion, a wearing of the mind on the body. He sighs from relief, but it’s ironic, because the fight is far from over.
And you can see that.
Notice how Aidan may be sighing - sighing with his whole body - but the exhaustion is still in his eyes, his brow is still furrowed. There is no relief there, because there isn’t any relief for Five in this moment. His mission has been accomplished, but he has to deal with the Handler, with the aftermath, with the repercussions of his selfish actions to save his family.
And you can see it all in this movement.
KEY NOTES: When acting out internal conflict, be subtle. Obvious movements are made for obvious, external conflicts. A person who punches first in a bar fight as an obvious external conflict. But, like shown here, a person who is breaking from the inside out will have external action, but also internal emotion that comes out in the most subtle of ways, whether it be through expression, through contradicting action (the sigh, but no visible relief), etc.
More often than not, in the arts, less is more. However, you first need to understand the more to be able to do the less. So analyze the scene, analyze the character, understand it fully, and feel it truthfully.
Onto the next!
This scene is quick but beautiful.
I love the entire apocalypse scene, and I’m sure you do as well. But this one moment right here. This moment where he sees Klaus and backs away? Fucking beautiful.
Let’s just zoom in, shall we?
Yes, a lovely grainy gif. But God it shows everything you need it to. This scene is a fucking gutpunch, and here’s why:
You can see every flicker of emotion, every transition. It’s in the way his mouth eventually closes, the way he backs up, slowly. It’s so fucking evident that Five is heartbroken, and you can see the thoughts going through his head. The realization that this is Klaus, that his siblings are dead, that he is alone in this apocalypse and his family is dead. The tears in his eyes...
God, bro. It hits so good.
Not being able to use dialogue can sometimes be difficult, because the actor doesn’t have a key part of their craft with them: words. Being able to emote, to shift from emotion to emotion so seamlessly with just a meager movement of the jaw while backing away. It’s incredible.
That’s literally all this is about. I chose this as my number six because it is so powerful within only a hundred-or-so frames. Having an actor be able to emote to clearly with just facial expression...
Shit, bro. Shit. It’s fantastic.
Like I said, the rest of this scene is amazing, and him finding his other siblings is intense, but this look right here is just...unparalleled.
KEY NOTES: Feel that shit. If you can’t feel it, craft a narrative to make yourself feel it. Again, acting is always about believing and living truthfully in imaginary circumstances, and sometimes it’s difficult to express emotions and feelings as is, let alone without dialogue. To help that, think of something.
For example, in this scene, if I were Aidan, I would think about the fact that these people I love are dead, the world as I know it is destroyed. Sure, I may not know that literal feeling, but I do understand the feeling of hopelessness, of feeling so utterly alone. Make it so that you’re able to live truthfully, however you need to do that. People usually don’t have completely empty heads; they’re thinking of things, of many things, often. So think about those things in-scene and in-character, and feel it.
Additionally, this is going back to the less is more. Aidan barely moves, here. His expression is relatively static but that slow back away, that hardening of his jaw, those things are gentle shifts that drastically change the way Five is in the scene. He goes from shocked, slack-jawed and glassy-eyed, to feeling cold realization as he closes his mouth and backs away, the understanding dawning upon him.
I could gush about this for decades...
Next!
This whole barn scene is just...gold as fuck. But this scene in particular, with the interwoven flashbacks of Five’s siblings, his father, his instances with time travel. The realizations that cross his face are beautiful, which in turn, makes this scene fantastic.
Get ready for some awkwardly close close-ups, because I’m about to explain some really cool shit as to how Aidan’s using facial expressions to navigate pain, realization, fear, surprise, etc.
So here’s why:
FEELING THE FEELINGS.
That’s how. A lot of what makes this scene powerful from an acting perspective is because Aidan completely suspends himself in disbelief. There are a lot of surprises that come to Five in this moment, and Aidan feels them all. And he feels them powerfully. He feels the shock around the pain of being shot, on top of it.
So to kick it off! Here:
Aidan’s living in this moment. He’s living in the anger of the Handler, thinking he’s going to die right here. His siblings have just been murdered again, by this bitch. And the audience is able to live in that with him. His eyes harden. His jaw sets. He’s breathing tight around the pain, infuriated, either shaking from the agony or the hatred or both.
Five is so caught up in that moment, and Aidan suspends himself in that moment so clearly, that the next moment is powerful as shit.
The Handler gets shot.
She gets turned to swiss-fucking-cheese right in front of him, and the way Aidan lets Five live in every second is beautiful. He goes from shocked, to confused, to going, “oh shit, that looks painful”. And it’s muted by his pain. Aidan doesn’t need to move much, he doesn’t need to make a grandiose gesture. It’s wide eyes, it’s knitted eyebrows, it’s swallowing around the blood and letting Five be in this moment.
And then Five realizes - Aidan lets Five realize - that the Swede has taken the Handler’s place. That he’s going to die all over again.
There is that anger again. That pure fucking spite. It’s the look of a man who would murder someone if he could sit up. His jaw sets from before, where it was slack with surprise and sympathetic pain. Look how sharp his eyes are. Boy is fucking pissed and it’s beautiful.
Let’s hop back! Back to movement!
Aidan’s squirming around here?
Realistic as shit. Five’s just been shot. That’s absolute agony. And there’s blood coming down the side of his mouth, which means his lungs have somehow been hurt. He can’t talk, breathing must suck, and so of course he’s writhing on the ground.
And this?
Is Five clenching his hands from pain? Is he trying to blink? What’s going on here? I don’t know, maybe Aidan does, but either way, both motivations are powerful. Five may be trying to blink away. He may be trying to tap into his powers instinctively. Or maybe he’s squirming in pain, clenching and unclenching his fists. And that shit punches. It’s so subtle, but so good, keeping the audience in the moment. No matter where you look on his body, whether his hands, his face, his chest - it all shows the agony he’s in, the desperation he’s swimming in.
Which then leads to the coolest fucking moment:
Look at how his eyes shift, only just so. His brows furrow only slightly. He’s realizing what’s going on, what he can do to save his family. Aidan played this perfectly. Again, less is more. These subtle movements make so much sense, because Five has been shot, he’s losing blood fast, and it’s dulling his movements and senses.
And when Five begins turning back the seconds?
The pain, the shock, the “holy shit this is working???” My god, you can see him choking on the blood and around the agony. You can see his hesitation, his being startled by his own powers, by what he is capable of. The rapid blinking, the jumping eyebrows, the gasping for air as the bullets likely begin ripping out of him.
KEY NOTES: Subtle subtle subtle. Live in that moment. Suspend your disbelief. Here, in this scene, there are several key shifts. These shifts are supposed to be a massive surprise to Five. And because Aidan is king at staying in the moment, and letting that moment live in him, he is able to display these shifts perfectly.
1st Shift - Realizing he is alive, and his siblings are dead.
2nd Shift - The Handler getting shot.
3rd Shift - Axel moving to kill him.
4th Shift - The realization of his father’s words.
5th Shift - Holy shit time travel is working.
All of them need to have a shift in-scene/with the tone. Aidan shifts this with pure expression. He doesn’t need to utter a single word because he is able to live in that moment and truly let himself be shocked, scared, desperate, angry, etc. So, in order to do this, live in the moment.
Some people say knowing exactly what will happen helps, because you’re able to time your expressions perfectly. Others say that knowing nothing helps, because you’re literally letting yourself be surprised. This truly depends on the actor, and their style. Aidan has expressed that he waits to read his lines until he’s there, on set, because then it’ll be more of a shock to him. That works really well for him (clearly) but it may not work for you, so test that out how you’d like.
Onto the next!
This.
Shit.
Is so good.
The moment when Five meets with Dolores again after god knows how much time while he was at the Commission-- It’s beautiful. And again, being the king of the subtle, Aidan can display the perfect mix of emotions that are occurring in this scene.
Here’s what’s up:
As many people may have noticed, a lot of these fantastic, key moments for me, in particular, are special due to subtlety. And subtlety is seen in the micro-expressions displayed through the face, mainly. Specifically, the eyes. Aidan’s ability to act solely through his eyes is something I’m going to focus on for this scene in particular.
These are his eyes the moment he sees Dolores again. And what’s really, really fucking cool is that Aidan is completely living in this scene. It shows in his eyes: real compassion, real love, real care. Sure, Aidan may not care about the mannequin in front of him, but he is thinking about something, whether that’s Five’s ties to Dolores, or someone in his life that he truly feels fond over.
You can see it.
His eyes soften significantly as the gif continues, and you can even see the corners of his eyes upturn after he says, “Dolores”. There is real love here. The actor is able to portray true love through just the eyes. And that’s insane. Many actors express love through physical action because they may not be actually feeling it. They’ll say, “I love you” but express flatly, with dull eyes and a forced smile.
But here. No, not that shit. This shit has Aidan feeling everything. And it makes a big difference, makes everything feel so much more genuine. Good acting is through the eyes, not the words. Dialogue enhances the story, but being genuine, and selling that story as “reality”, is done by the actor, through the eyes, the subtle expressions, the minimal gestures and movements.
Let’s look at some more eyes?
Now, I fucking hate looking at eyes. But with Aidan - like with many good actors - I find them fascinating to watch. Because if an actor is feeling it, is living in the moment, they will express fantastically through their eyes. Most human communication is body language/unspoken, and I’m willing to bet a good chunk of that is through the eyes alone.
You can see Five thinking in that second gif, his eyes flicking left, left further, deep in thought for just a second. That is the thing you should be envisioning when authors say, “they could practice see the wheels turning in their head”.
In that first gif, Aidan’s compassion and softness, his quiet eyes, are contrasted by the sharp roll following the “obviously”, which makes the love being expressed to Dolores only that much stronger. It enhances the moment. See, because being too subtle the entire time makes it so the audiences don’t pick up much at all, they don’t feel it. And being too obvious makes you an amateur, makes it comical, almost.
When you’re strong in your craft, you’re able to make every single move in the most calculated of manners, but you make it seem effortless, make it seem natural. That’s incredible shit.
I’m by no means saying Aidan is perfect. He definitely isn’t. But, scenes like this showcase his experience in the field.
KEY NOTES:
Piggybacking off the subtlety discussed earlier, practice living in the moment. There is no real way to practice “being subtle” because it manifests naturally when the actor is living in the moment. Hence why this scene is so high on my list.
So learn to equate the emotions of your characters to your life. Tie your character’s life into yourself, somehow, all while keeping a safe distance. It’s by no means easy, and it takes years to learn how to do that, how to express naturally and not force a single thing. Being vulnerable, and raw, and flawed like that is hard, since so many people are taught that flaws are shameful, that perfection is required for success. But acting, like much of the arts, require you to unravel that believe and be truly vulnerable, exposed to possibly millions of viewers.
So learn to live in the moment. That will shield you all whilst letting you live freely as the character and, therefore, express truthfully and subtly.
Next!
Remember my rant about subtlety?
Yeah, fuck that, because with this, we’re going to talk about going off the rails. But, going off the rails in a tasteful manner. The paradox psychosis scenes were a beautiful contrast to a normally stiff, calculated character. it was satisfying, and entertaining, and so fucking powerful when breaking down the psychology of Five.
So let’s hop into that:
Psychology is everything to a character, because it is everything to humanity, and people as a whole. Every decision made is dictated by psychology, by experiences and how those are compartmentalized and processed in the brain. An action isn’t done without it meaning something to the person.
And the same goes for every character made.
If you are a writer, you need to understand the actions and reactions of your characters based on their experiences and their psychology. If you just...write random shit because you want to, or because it seems funny or creepy, it may be good, but it won’t line up psychologically and it’ll show. It’ll be obvious to those of us that study this day-in-day-out.
The same goes for acting and actors.
An actor will be much more powerful in their role if they can understand their character’s psychology. The amount of empathy going into this is intense, especially for those playing “villains” or antagonists - those with flimsy morals - because you need to be able to break down, understand, and agree with the psychology of your character. It’ll make them so much more realistic and powerful.
That is why seeing Five - a normally calculated, sharp, careful character - off the shits is the best thing ever. And it’s in-character, too! He’s learned over the years that independence is the key to survival, that thought (as opposed to action, or outbursts) yields better results.
Yet here, in the scene, Five is relying upon Luther’s help. He’s trusting his brother. He’s acting irrationally. He’s skittish. And it’s such a beautiful contrast. Admittedly, this scene is more about the writing than Aidan’s acting, but it is still fantastically acted, and that only adds more to the realism, to the intensity, to the fact that it is so not Five to do this, and yet, it is very much so Five.
That! Is because of body language.
We know it is Five, that it is in-character, because it still follows Five’s normal body language, his gestures, his manic buzzing around despite his words sounding paranoid, despite his actions being rash. I’ve already spent a lot of time on this number already, so I’ll just demonstrate with a specific scene:
He’s pensive as hell right here. Shoulders tense, shifting back wards. He knows what’s going on, he’s as terrified as he allows himself to be (because he can’t stifle it, perhaps), and it’s so very Five while also being not Five at all.
Despite the music telling us it’s all gucci, it is not all gucci. Look at his eyes. They harden. They get dark. His demeanor completely shifts into caution. he swallows. Steels himself. This is the Five we know - a paranoid little shit - and yet, there is fear that is so uncharacteristic. All through Aidan’s beautiful acting. All through him understanding the psychology of Five perfectly. This is why it is required that you understand your character’s every move, every action, every line of dialogue, every thought.
So, this kind of shit throughout the entire paradox psychosis scene is just amazing. And it’s exactly for the reasons listed above. Aidan knows Five. Not only is he Five, but he knows Five. Inside and out. And god does it show.
KEY NOTES:
Know your character. Know them better than you know yourself. Deadass. Know them better thank you know yourself so that you can delve into the meat of their psychology and tweeze out exactly what you need to do in order to act them correctly.
Onto the next!
This gourmet shit.
Time to get uncomfortably close once again.
The jaw clench! The cheek tightening! The head tilt! The lips thinning! Look at that beautiful expression. See, acting, like writing, is all based on formula. Now, I’m going to out myself, but I’m autistic. Facial expressions, movements, twitches, etc. aren’t inherent to me, and understanding them and analysis them is a learned behavior.
Actors and writers, like me, need to understand the formula.
Clenched jaw + fidgeting + tightening lips = numerous things, ranging from frustration, to anger, to desperation, to pain.
But when you include the eyes.
The eyes tell it all.
Small, watering, tight at the corners, knitted brows. All of these, plus our formula above, create the perfect mix of frustration, desperation, pain, fear.
He is frustrated with the situation, with Vanya. He is desperate to get her to listen. He is in pain because he hates to do this to her, hates to have to fight her on this. And he is scared because what if he has to fight her?
Actors are usually conscious - at least at first - about these movements. They learn to have complete control of their bodies, their faces, down to the muscle. Or, they should. I can’t speak for Aidan, because I’m not him, clearly. But I can safely say that, if he doesn’t consciously have control of his body and understand exactly what’s going on, then he has some intense intuition about his emotions. He is able to perfectly display a mishmash of emotions, all perfect given the situation, the character, his experiences.
Aidan gives Five the multi-layering goodness that we analysis kids love because Five isn’t just upset. He isn’t just frustrated. He is frustrated on top of being scared, and agonized, and exhausted (you can see the weariness in his eyes; it’s all in the eyes).
KEY NOTES
I’m not sure if this would help, but try making a formula. If you are worried about your character not doing an emotion right, or wanting to do multiple emotions at once, craft a formula or a chart.
So, say you want depression and anger. A basic formula could look like this:
Depression = Hollow Eyes + Monotone Voice + Slumped Posture
Anger = Shaking + Sharp Eyes + Clenched Fists
Then, you can combine the two together. You can have hollowed eyes, and a monotone voice, but also sharpened corners to the eyes, and clenched fists. Here, Aidan is tapping into multiple things, things that have interwoven specifics to their formulas. That’s why it works so beautifully. His eyes scream agony, his jaw tightens with frustration, his eyebrow knit together with frustration--
Bless this kid and his acting.
Anyways, last but definitely not least, here is my final analysis:
Now, this scene may not seem like the most intense acting ever, but in reality - to me - this shit is insanely powerful. It’s not just the acting going into work here; it’s the blocking, the dialogue, the pacing, the atmosphere, the emotional environment, the music and sound engineering...
It’s a fucking cinematic masterpiece.
But, since I am here to talk about just acting, and just Aidan’s acting, let me tell you about how this scene is made so good. There are two reasons:
One, is that Aidan is a master at post traumatic stress disorder and PTSD psychological processes and how that comes out in action, reaction, dialogue delivery, etc.
And two, he acts like a grown-ass old man.
Let’s talk about the second one first, because why not:
(apologies ahead of time for fucked gifs, this scene is impossible)
This scene. It’s just a drink. Chill, whatever, right?
Wrong.
It’s the way he moves. The way he drinks. The way he holds himself when he is around Reginald, another man his age. Around another man his age that had abused him, had done him wrong, but in Five’s eyes, some whom he had done wrong, too.
Luther is the sibling that is always said to be in denial about their father’s wrongdoings, but a lot of people neglect the fact that Five is, too. He is just as much in denial as Luther, if not more so by the time season two wraps up.
And it shows.
It shows in the way he moves as if they were equals, when they are so clearly not. He tils his head, gives acknowledgement in the way old men do. The generational gap is closed by Aidan’s movements, not by his words. It’s incredibly satisfying to see Five’s psychology bleeding through as he instinctively shifts from “I’m dealing with a bunch of kids” to “I’m alongside a man my age, my father”.
And speaking of psychology, let’s please talk about PTSD.
Specifically, subtle show not tell of PTSD, all through the eyes.
Right. Here.
Look, I’m not going to lie, if I analyze this scene, it’ll be the same things you’ve heard before. Everything I gushed about earlier is going to be repeated here for the ultimate finale on this long-ass fucking post.
But, humor me.
Five’s got trauma. Bitch has trauma for days. Though, he doesn’t wear it. He hides it, he buries it, because it is useless to him. Yet, it will always be there. His trauma of abandonment, and survival in the apocalypse, on top of the abuse from his father, the stress of his childhood, and topped off with the murder he had to shoulder for the sake of the Commission. Rarely does this show. Rarely is it seen.
Save for scene likes this. Right. Fucking. Here.
Aidan knows Five. And he knows the traumas Five’s endured.
Five can’t look at his father as he admits his failures, the snide, “I told you so” ringing through his head. He has to acknowledge that his father was right, that he was right all along. This is a burden Five has carried for decades, as seen with his discussion with Diego in 2x02. It’s not something small for him. So, to admit that...
The stare says it all.
His eyes are glazed over, lost in the past. He isn’t looking at Reggie, is looking past him. This is the thousand-yard stare you always read about. These are the eyes of agony, and regret, and a flashback. His eyes flick, flick to the side, towards the camera, as Five remembers something. Aidan knows how to play this. He knows how to play this trauma of remembering, of remembering what he had done to his siblings and how he has failed. And, finally, he is able to look and Reginald but he is choking back something. He swallows thickly, as if it’s almost sickening to do so.
Aidan’s understanding of Five, and his trauma and psychology, and expressing it all through his body language, and expression, and eyes. God, it’s fucking mesmerizing.
SO TO WRAP IT UP
Everything here is purely my opinion, but if I were to leave you with anything, acting (and writing) comes down to three basic things:
--Understanding the psychology of your character, through-and-through.
--Understanding your body, your expressions, your eyes, and how you react and can react to specific emotions.
--Living in the moment, and being present in the character’s life, being truthful to them over yourself.
These are the things that Aidan excels at. God, he is amazing at it. And I appreciate the hell out of it any time I see him. He is so truthful to Five, so honest to the character, that it’s beautiful to watch. Five is so flawed, so hurt, and so complex, and Aidan isn’t afraid to show us this vulnerability. I suppose that should be one last thing that all writers and actors and anyone in the arts should strive for:
--Vulnerability, pain, fear, and raw, oftentimes shielded emotions are not something to hide but, rather, are your greatest strength.
#aidan gallagher#the umbrella academy#umbrella academy#tua#number five#five hargreeves#five#acting analysis
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Hi seeing as you seem to be the only sorta active britin blog I can find lol I wanted to ask you about some of your favourite moments for them, as I'm kinda new to the fandom whatevers around lol, and would like to hear peoples thoughts on them if you don't mind answering 😊
Hey there! Sorry I am answering so late, but WOW this is a big ask because there are SO many favorite moments.
So I have narrowed it down to my Top 5:
1. Prom (obviously)
Okay this is a no-brainer. This is literally the most romantic sequence in all of television history. I still have not found something more beautiful, moving, triumphant, loving, and groundbreaking than when Brian and Justin danced to 'Save the Last Dance for Me' at prom. Obviously barring the horrific events of what followed, this scene transcended all stereotypes and barriers and allowed us as the viewers to feel pure happiness and pride as queer people. I remember seeing it for the first time at 14 and feeling so unadulteratedly happy and validated. This was a scene of two gay people unapologetically showing the world that they did not give a shit what anyone thought of them. The only thing that mattered was this thing between them; this unspoken understanding, solace, love, and pride. I still moves me to this day whenever I watch it, no matter how many times I do.
And of course we must talk about the implications of Brian's character in this scene. Throughout season 1, he has been an emotionally stunted and cold individual who does not believe in love, relationships, or trying to make other people happy. Here, in the finale, we see Brian finally putting away all his ego bullshit ("I wouldn't be caught dead in a room full of 18 year olds"), and going out of his way to make someone he cares about happy. The fact that he even showed up at Justin's prom is a direct U-turn from the moral principles he has been reinforcing all season. And by dancing to a "ridiculously romantic" corny song, waltzing, and kissing Justin in front of everyone without giving a shit — that is pride. That is one of Brian's long-accustomed walls tumbling down.
"And don't forget whose taking you home and in whose arms you're gonna be..."
2. When they make love for the first time after the bashing
Now these scenes...how do I describe the sheer profundity? After Justin's bashing at prom, Brian is left in shambles. He blames himself for everything, and it is just further proof that Brian's love always causes further destruction. Justin has lost all memory of that night at prom, and this is one of the big tragedies. Justin had promised that he'd never forget it, and that it was the best night of his life. That proof of Brian's love that he had for so long been longing to experience — has disappeared as if it never happened. Now, Justin's confidence and surety of the world has been distorted. He is no longer sure of anything, including himself and Brian. He needs reassurance and things spelled out for him.
When Brian and Justin sleep together for the first time after the bashing, it is not like all the other times they had sex. This, in fact, is the first time they make love. Justin is telling Brian that he trusts him wholeheartedly, enough to allow him in his body again after his own agency had been ripped away from him. This is where Justin absolves Brian of his guilt. He takes the blood-stained scarf off his shoulders, lets it fall to the ground. He gives Brian the forgiveness that Brian cannot offer himself.
"Like the first time?" Brian asks, because it is the anniversary of their first meeting, but at the same time—it is nothing like the first time. Now, they are not strangers. They are more acquainted with each other than they have ever sought to be; know each other in such profound depths. They are forever linked by this thing they have both experienced, but it is not just that shared trauma. It is based off deep understanding and love. They have, somehow along the way, become more each other than themselves. They know that they have become irreplaceable and inseparable parts of each other. And Brian has been holding onto that guilt for so long that it has become rooted deeply within him. SO when Justin absolves him of it, Brian allows himself to truly feel for the first time since the bashing. He gives himself to Justin, in that moment, as Justin gives himself to Brian. It is a brilliant and tender scene of trust, devotion, acceptance, and absolution. Something they both needed to soothe their troubled souls, and a new basis for their relationship.
3. When Brian helps Justin walk down the street after the bashing
Again, this is Brian showing nurturing, care, patience, compassion, and selflessness to another person. Justin trusts him enough to rely on him, and Brian doesn't take this trust lightly. These are some of the sweetest scenes of the whole show, because this is when Brian is completely focused and devoted to Justin. He wants to help him, more than anything, to get better. And he accepts and takes up this role of carer, not because he has to, or because he is obligated or forced to. But because he will do anything to ensure that Justin will be okay, and that he gets the life he deserves.
Specifically, my favorite scene is when the song 'Grand pianos crash together, when my boy walks down the street...' is playing. Justin is walking through a crowd and Brian has his arms outstretched. When they come together, they hug deeply and easily. This scene is so simple and pure, so chaste, but it shows the true essence of their relationship, beyond all the facades and bells and whistles. At the heart of it, Brian and Justin care about each other more than they care about themselves. They have established a stable foundation of trust that they can rely on. And it also perfectly encapsulates just how far Brian has come once again. He is showing such selfless care and devotion to a boy in public daylight, kissing and hugging him and not wanting to let go of his hand. Season 1 Brian would have never even considered that. This just shows how much the events of the prom changed him, and shows how his desire for responsibility of another person has matured him. He had been forced to face his inner feelings, fears, and truths. Now, they are out in the open for the first time and Brian accepts this. This alone is a huge development.
Brian is also afraid to let go of Justin. When Justin says he can walk back himself and says 'Later,' Brian repeats it apprehensively as he holds Justin's hand until he can't anymore. Then, he watches Justin go, walking through the crowds. The look on his face is wistful, a little troubled. He hasn't wanted to face just how much he enjoys Justin's presence and how much happier and content he is when Justin is with him. He hasn't wanted to face just how afraid he is to lose Justin again. Their words of 'Later' are a direct mirror of their last words on prom night, just before Justin got bashed. Brian had watched Justin walk away, too. And a second later, he was gone.
4. Pride
This is probably one of my all-time favorite scenes in television ever. I have cried each time I've seen it. There is something so pure, essential, liberating, triumphant and tender about this scene, and the song that plays (Chiquitita by ABBA) certainly shows it. Firstly, Justin accepts Brian in his entirety and doesn't expect him to change. He knows how much Brian has been devoting to Justin in his recovery, and how strange that role is for Brian. Here, he tells Brian to 'go find a stud, ask him to dance,' — because he knows how much Brian has been sacrificing for him. This alone shows Justin's maturity and inner strength. He loves Brian, so he will not try to change him or shackle him. He wants Brian to be free to choose and live the way he wants, and that is what he fell in love with.
But when Justin shows this sacrifical and detached love for him, Brian realises that there is nothing he wants to do; no one he wants to be with more — than Justin. He is aware of the myriads of choices he has. But he chooses Justin. (Technically, for the first time, perhaps aside from prom. But even at prom, he had been running from something [turning 30]. Here, he chooses Justin without pressure for the first time.)
So, he follows him outside. He ask him "Hey, stud. Wanna dance?" Justin doesn't believe him at first, because he is not used to Brian choosing him by his own volition. He cannot imaging Brian passing up getting laid, especially after being celibate for the whole day. He also feels like a burden; like Justin's recovery has been inflicted on Brian, stopping him from living his life normally. Justin loves Brian enough to let him be free, but the biggest part? Brian loves Justin enough to choose him in that freedom.
So this marks another checkpoint in their relationship. Not only is there trust, understanding, and love — there is also desire. Sure, they have always desired each other. But this desire is not the physical kind or one born out of loneliness. This is desire for the other person as a whole. This is desiring another person's company because theirs is the only company you want. This is desiring to be with someone when there are so many other options. This is real desire — the kind that originates from the heart and not the flesh.
"I promise you won't forget this one." Brian is promising Justin that this dance will be theirs, just theirs. Not to stick it to anyone, to show anyone anything, to make some kind of point, or to make somebody happy. This dance is theirs, for the reason that Brian wants Justin to have this: this moment where Brian only wants Justin, where he dances with him simply because he wants to. And he wants Justin to have this memory, to overcome all the vague blurriness of their past. He wants this dance to be the one he remembers when he questions himself. And so they dance, and they sway, and they kiss, and they press their heads together, and the lights are bright and colored on Liberty Avenue, and everywhere people are free and joyful, and there is nothing to prove, no one to run from, nothing to hide. Their arms are wrapped around each other and the sound of 'You'll be dancing once again...and the pain will end...you will have no time for grieving...' tumbles through the air and all around them. 'But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you.' Now: there is nothing to be afraid of, and everyday life is full of reasons to be alive. To be proud.
5. Their reunification
This is one of their main checkpoints. This scene is the moment they finally become equals. Justin had left Brian for the reason that Brian could not give him what he needed to be happy, which was: reassurance. After the bashing, Justin lost all sense of who he was. There was a huge gap in his memory, therefore a huge part of himself he could not claim. He had lost partial use of his dominant hand which took away the only thing that gave him solace; his drawing ability. He was no longer sure of anything and needed things spelled out for him. He needed to talk about it.
But Brian was not willing to do that, because he himself was struggling with trauma from the incident that he did not want to face. Where his love language is in acts of service (letting Justin live with him, paying for his tuition, helping him recover) — Justin needed to hear the words. He needed verbal affirmation to prove that he wasn't crazy and just projecting his feelings onto Brian. He could no longer trust his own perception and interpretation of things whereas in the past he could read Brian's mixed signals easily without needing confirmation. This is the part Brian failed to understand. He was not willing to concede his identified notions of 'relationships' and 'love' — no matter how far he came. He had not accepted that his feelings for Justin were love, and that scared him. So he refused to compromise with Justin, believing that his actions were enough when they weren't. But all Justin needed was to be heard, and for someone to love him enough to give hime what he needed sometimes (which was, verbal and emotional affirmation).
So their relationship ended, and Justin thought he could get what he needed from Ethan, which proved to be another big lie. So at the end, Justin still cannot trust his own perception, but — he finally knows what he wants.
He comes to the realization that while Brian could not give him the words, he gave him honesty. He learned from Ethan that words without action had no meaning. So he prioritized what mattered more to him: hearing that Brian loved him? Or, knowing that Brian loved him. So he chose honesty.
And this is when they could get back together without that imbalance and insecurity.
"And you are never to play violin music in my presence again." This single line is the only thing Brian needed to say to indicate to Justin that he was hurt by Justin leaving. Brian has been putting up a front of indifference for their entire break up, only indulging in pain management in private. Justin leaving him irrefutably hurt him more than he could have ever anticipated. But he did not show it.
So, Justin smiles — a little nod of awareness — because that is all Brian needed to say. And he says, "I promise."
"And it's time...that we...grow old and so some shit..." plays in the background (Lover's Spit) as they start to undress each other, because they are now on the same playing field. They have no illusions, misunderstandings, and misinterpretations anymore. They are starting anew; a little older and a little wiser than before. Brian knows how painful it is to lose Justin. Justin knows how skewed his perception had been, because he had been so caught up in his isolation that he could not see the truth of Brian's actions.
But they both know at least one thing: that life is better together than apart.
Tbh I could go ON and write a dissertation about each of these individual scenes, but I hope this made sense and gave a little more insight on these scenes and characters. Thank you for the great question!
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Ted Lasso 2x3 thoughts
Brendan Hunt confirmed on Twitter that the writers wrote the first three episodes of the season with the intention of releasing them on the same day, just as they dropped the first three episodes of season one on the same day. Having finally watched the first three over three different weeks, I really wish they’d been able to launch all three on the same day. I really liked the first two episodes of the season, but the third episode really puts a lot of things into context. Between the political storyline, the return of Sassy (and a bit of a level-setting conversation between Sassy, Rebecca, and Ted) and Rebecca’s navigation of her professional life as an all-in club owner and her experience reconnecting to Nora...all of that feels like we’re done setting up the season now. Exposition complete—and to the writers’ credit, all three of these episodes are far more than exposition. A lot of story has happened.
So much so that this week’s installment has categories.
Sassy and Ted and Rebecca
Hahahahahahahahahaha
No, seriously though, I love that they are mature adults about this and I also love that Ted is Uncomfortable and, to be perfectly honest, I like that Sassy’s aggressive unfilteredness becomes an opportunity for the show to venture into more sexual references and humor about characters other than Keeley and Roy. It was a lot of information!
I’ve seen a couple of people express disappointment that Ted seems weirded out by Sassy discussing Nora’s impending first period, but I didn’t get the impression that he was grossed out by periods. There is a lot going on! Nora is right outside the room with the door open and Sassy has run through a lot of very personal topics! I felt like his reaction was more about the proximity issue in specific and the personal nature of the conversation in general more than anything else.
So many thoughts about the intersection between the biscuits and this conversation that it had to go in its own post.
Nora!
I LOVE Nora. I want every episode of this show to be about her. I want this sitcom to be called Nora Collins.
I love that Nora’s a little bit sassy (pun on her mother’s nickname only lazily intended) in the way a thirteen-year-old can be, but also enthusiastic about spending time with Rebecca and genuinely interested in meeting everyone her godmother knows. Rebecca genuinely hurt Nora, but Nora can clearly see that Rebecca is all-in on their mended relationship, and that gives her the space to be a bit teasing. She knows Rebecca’s weaknesses and has a little fun (the cooking joke when Rebecca offers to make popcorn?!) but also isn’t going to manipulate her or take advantage.
The British doll company and all the riffs on American Girl dolls, OMG. So good.
Like literally everyone, I am extremely into Rebecca and Roy actually being friends and exchanging words with each other this season. Now everyone in the group of four mains have had some great conversational moments with each other this season (I count Ted and Keeley being into Sharon’s bike as a great conversational moment, OK?!), with the exception of Roy and Ted. Cannot wait for that.
During the photo op with the team, Sassy and Rebecca remark on how Nora is loving and hating having her picture taken with Sam and the rest of the players, and that is THE experience of being thirteen years old, and Kiki May does an incredible job infusing all of Nora’s moments with the right proportions of enthusiasm to cringe. Thirteen years olds are constantly cringing but still full of spirit and life, and at constantly changing ratios, and Nora is the perfect embodiment of that.
My heart melted during the email-writing scene. Rebecca’s writing the email on Nora’s computer! In the guest room where her goddaughter is staying! They’re wearing pajamas! And Rebecca’s smile is so genuinely huge and delighted when she signs it “boss ass bitch.”
Led Tasso and Jamie’s Redemption
This was so stupid and I loved it so much. I love that Ted’s angry alter ego is absurd rather than scary, kind of like a parody of how worked up some men get over sports. I wonder if Led Tasso’s appearance in some way foreshadows a more uncontrolled, genuine anger from Ted in a later episode, because this Led Tasso dude is ridiculous.
Tentative kudos to Led Tasso for being able to point out the, ahem, clit of the soccer ball even from within a fugue state.
The entire Chuck E. Cheese exchange with Sharon was so hilarious and wonderful.
When Ted has the idea to bring out Led Tasso, Nate assumes he’s going to suggest that Jamie talk to Sharon. I absolutely adore the implication that Jamie’s growth over this episode is attributable to both Led Tasso and Sharon Fieldstone. Because while some players are still unmoved by Jamie’s willingness to stand up to Led, it didn’t go unnoticed! And then I was so proud of Keeley for refusing to take on the emotional labor of listening to Jamie when she was too busy with her actual job, and I felt that Jamie’s pretty immediate willingness to see what the therapy thing was all about was extremely in line with his character. He’s always seeking out Keeley to talk, and sometimes he actually means “talking” when he asks to talk with her! Jamie feels like someone who’s standing at a wall of doors, knocking on each one, trying to see what sticks. He really lacks foundation. I’m curious to know what he and Sharon spoke about in their session, but I like that the writers left the session private. The knowledge that he’s started seeing a psychologist is valuable information in and of itself, and Jamie’s decision to act in solidarity with Sam and the other Nigerian players is the perfect evidence that he’s thinking in new ways.
Sam and Dubai Air
Toheeb Jimoh is always great, but he’s so great in this episode. It’s cool to see his demeanor, pacing, and confidence shift as he becomes more at home with the team—and it’s also lovely to see that he, unlike Jamie, very much has a strong foundation in his home country, his supportive parents, his own moral center.
I like that Sam didn’t spend a bunch of time and emotional labor on teaching Jamie why caring about other people (and the environment!) matters, because that would’ve undercut the other political messages in this episode. Sam’s leading by example and everyone can either catch up or stay out, and it’s really great.
I really like the way they handled the press conference with Ted and Sam. I like that Ted gave the floor to Sam but prefaced that with very brief (for once!) remarks of his own. And I appreciated that Ted acknowledged his position of privilege, and that the angle isn’t that bad things never happen to white dudes but rather that when bad things do happen to people like Ted, it gets attention with so much less effort than when bad things happen to people who aren’t white men. Because that’s how privilege works—it’s not a shield that prevents bad things from happening to you, but it’s a safety net that ensures people will notice and address and even pitch in to take care of your bad things, often at the expense of the people who lack that privilege.
There’s probably lots of other stuff I could talk about, like the hilariously and realistically bad usernames on Bantr and Keeley brushing her snacks off the desk and into her purse and how things between Beard and Jane are clearly very, very bad and I’m worried about Beard and how it was soooo fun and lovely to see Shannon teasing Ted again (little coffee and football rituals before work are the kinds of details I absolutely live for) and HIGGINS PRETENDING REBECCA SENT HIM A BRILLIANT AND HEROIC EMAIL (which she does for real with Nora’s help just a couple scenes later!) and how delighted I was to feel that by this episode this season has really hit its stride and feels like a fully lived-in portrayal of the energized, loving, imperfect, busy, full place that is the whole AFC Richmond community. Honestly, Higgins pretending Rebecca sent that email because he wants to make her look good in front of her granddaughter is kind of the perfect encapsulation of what this episode felt like. This is a show about a bunch of imperfect people who want each other to succeed.
Edited to add: I was delighted to find out Ashley Nicole Black was writing for the show and the writing here did the opposite of disappoint! ❤️
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Hey Scarlett! What are some of your favorite pieces of media about being a teenage girl or that you think really understand their experience?
hey! i feel like there are a lot of scenes from movies/tv or snippets of things that stick with me because they just really resonated w me in that respect rather than full things so i’m going to explain these snippets the best i can. also obv this reflects my own experience of being a teenage girl which is white and cis & like gay but closeted so i’m not claiming that these reflect the entire spectrum of teen girl experiences etc etc ANYWAY here’s my list and they’re kind of split into categories ig!
the scene in bring it on when she turns on the cd that cliff makes her and is so giddy about it that she has to get up on her bed and start dancing. other honorable mentions in this category: when jane is telling lizzy about mr bingley and gets so flustered thinking abt him she has to turn her face in the pillow and like wiggle around (i know jane’s not a teenager but still), the scene in the you belong with me video when she’s dancing. i think there are a lot of moment in the happier times of teenage girlhood where you’re so happy in a way you’ve never been before that you have to try and shake it out of your body bc it’s so overwhelming
the like “mom” section of this list is mostly comprised of the scene in goodwill in ladybird. that part where they’re fighting with each other then immediately stop when they find a dress they both like was SOO familiar. then there’s just specifically the way dianna agron delivers the line “i needed my mom” in season one of glee like. idk why that does something to me. the part in alison bechdel’s memoir “are you my mother?” where she talks about that time in the two weeks before college where you and your mom are at each other’s throats for no reason. there’s also something that always really touches me abt the way that needy curls up next to her mom towards the end of jennifer’s body that always makes me tear up. the way that mitski sings “mom will you wash my back?” and fuck it i’ll add juliet from romeo and juliet crying out for her mom when she takes the sleeping potion and doesn’t know if it will kill her or not! i think part of being a teenage girl at least for me and especially as the oldest daughter where you’re coming to that point where you’re no longer an extension of your mother and she doesn’t know what to do with you as another woman. you still really need like a child sometimes but you also feel like there’s no one who understands you less.
i think that things like dare me or jennifer’s body or ginger snaps are obviously like extreme but also do a really good job of nailing that feeling of being a teenage girl where you feel like a monster and also like the craziest person in the world and also like a god and also you’re deeply obsessed with another woman in your life and don’t know how to feel that without feeling a little demonic. i think one day you suddenly wake up at 20 and realize you were never an evil, irredeemable, unlovable person you were just like 16 yrs old.
a couple of specific song lyrics/the way they’re sung that i feel like encapsulate the feeling of being a teenage girl would have to be the desperation in lorde’s voice when she’s singing “you’re the only friend i need / sharing beds like little kids” it just encapsulates the feeling of being like 18 and feeling like your life is just ending. also the way olivia rodrigo sings the “red lights, stop signs” line in drivers license is just sooooo... like my drama club boyfriend broke up with me and i am the first person in the world to ever experience pain. the lyric from the best day when taylor says “i’m 13 now and don’t know how my friends could be so mean” just stabs me in the heart every time because it’s like i literally was! and i literally couldn’t! also triple dog dare by lucy dacus just IS being in love with a girl as a kid but not knowing it yet and not understanding how everyone can see it. “you tell me you’re afraid that we may die / i said ‘so what? everybody’s scared of that’” gets me every single time.
a couple other things that don’t really have a category: when ladybird and julie hold hands and listen to “crash into me”, literally ALL of PEN15, even though marianne is in college at this point i think when she says she’s not unlovable but she’s definitely hard to like is a BIG teenage mood in normal people.
anyway i’ll probably think of more and make a bigger list but here are some!
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every day i think about the masterpiece that sira and the entire druck team created with the tinder match clip and how perfectly it encapsulates that excitement, giddiness and hope you experience when you’re starting to talk to your crush and actually feel like there’s potential there and that maybe, just maybe, they do really like you back. that clip does an amazing job of showing how it’s such a headrush, how you can just stay up all night talking because your attention is completely focused on that person, how it’s this constant nervous push and pull. it’s literally just fatou and her phone in this clip, and yet it feels so intense - this scene really fleshes out kieutou’s dynamic at that moment & shows us all of fatou’s hopes and feelings so skilfully. fatou’s reactions and expressions, her restlessness, the music choices, the messages - all of it paints such a rich picture, even though fatou is only really interacting with her phone screen, alone in her room. druck really did That for the sapphics
#truly just makes me go !!!#everyone say thank you druck#your daily s6 analysis sponsored by the wonder that is kieutou and the druck team#fatou jallow#druck#kieutou#kieu my vu#druck s6#druck new gen#druck serie#my post
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Please elaborate on how Five could've turned into the most insufferable character to watch
Thanks for asking me to elaborate on this text post:
@tessapercygranger, @waywardd1 and @margarita-umbrella also wanted to see a more detailed version of it, and I ended up writing an essay that’s longer than some of my actual academic essays. So buckle up.
WHY NUMBER FIVE SHOULD BE THE MOST OBNOXIOUS CHARACTER IN TV HISTORY, AND HOW HE MANAGES NOT TO BE
Number Five: The Concept That Could Go Horribly Wrong
Alright, let’s first look at Five in theory in an overarching way, without taking into account the execution of the show. The basic set-up of the character, of course, is being a 58-year-old consciousness in a teenager’s body, due to a miscalculation in time travel. Right off the bat, Five is bar none the most overpowered of the siblings; by the end of Season 2, no one has yet been able to defeat him in a fight. He is a master assassin – and not just any master assassin, but the best one there is – and a survival expert, able to do complex maths and physics without the aid of a calculator, shown to have knowledge of half a dozen languages, has very developed observational skills and, to top that all off, he can manipulate time and space to the point where he can literally erase events that happened and change the course of history. And Five knows how skilled he is; he is arrogant, self-assured and sarcastic, and his streak of goodness is buried deep inside. David Castañeda once described Five in an interview as 90% chocolate with a cherry in the middle, meaning that you have to get through a lot of darkness and bitterness before knowing there is a good core, and I think it’s an excellent metaphor. However, Five is also incredibly, fundamentally terrible at communicating with anyone, and, because he is the only one with time travel abilities, the character a lot of the actual plot - and the moving forward of it - centres around. Also he’s earnestly in love with a mannequin, who is pretty much a projection of his own consciousness that functions as a coping mechanism for all the trauma he has endured. All in all, this gives you a character who looks like a teenager, but with the smug superiority of a fifty-something, who a) is extremely skilled in many different things, b) has a superiority complex, is arrogant and vocal about it, and most of the superiority is expressed through cutting sarcasm, c) has one very hidden ounce of goodness that he is literally the worst at communicating to other human beings, d) is what moves the plot along but is also bad at talking to anyone else, meaning that the plot largely remains with him, and e) his love interest is essentially a projection of himself. Tell me that’s not a character who is destined to be just…obnoxious, annoying, egocentric, a necessary evil that one has to put up with to get through this show. There are so many elements of this characterisation that can and should easily make Five beyond insufferable, but the show manages to avoid it, and I’m putting this down to three aspects.
That Trick of Age and Appearance
Bluntly put, Five as a character would not work if he was anything else than an old man in a 13-year-old body. Imagine this character and all his skills and knowledge, but actually just…a teenager. Immediately insufferable. Same goes for him being around 30, like his siblings, all of which are stunted and traumatised by their father’s abuse. If Five, being comparatively unscathed by Reginald to the point where he explicitly does not want to be defined by his association with his father, were 30 like his siblings, it would just take the bite out of that plot point and also give him a lot less time in the apocalypse, reducing the impact it had on him as a person. And making Five his actual 58-year-old self would make him very similar to Reginald, at least on surface level, with the appearance and attitude. Five and Reginald are two fundamentally different people, but having one of the siblings being a senior citizen that’s dressed to the nines and bosses his siblings around in a relatively self-centred way does open up that parallel, and would take away from Five’s charm as a character. Because pairing the life experience of a 58-year-old with the appearance of a teenager gives you the best of both worlds. You get the other siblings (and a lot of the audience, from a glance in the tags of my gifsets) feeling protective and paternal about Five, but his age and experience also give the justifications for his many skills, his arrogance, in a way, and his ability to decimate a room full of people. It’s the very interesting and not new concept of someone dangerous with the appearance of something harmless, a child. This is also where Five’s singular outfit comes in. I know we like to clown on Five to get a new outfit, but I think what gets forgotten often is how effective this outfit is at making the viewer take him seriously. The preppy school uniform is the perfect encapsulation of the tension between old man in spirit and young teenager in appearance. The blazer, vest and especially the shirt and tie are quite formal, relatively grown up. They’re not something we, the audience, usually associate with a teenage boy wearing; it makes Five just a little bit more grown up. But there is also a reason characters in this show keep bringing up Five’s shorts and his socks, because those are not things that we associate with grown men wearing; they’re the unmistakably childish part of his school uniform. Take a moment and imagine Five wearing a hoodie or a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers; would that outfit work for him as well as the uniform does? Would he be able to command the same kind of respect or seriousness as a character? I don’t think so; the outfit is a lot more pivotal in making Five believable than a lot of people give it credit for.
Writing Nuance
The other big building block in not making Five incredibly insufferable is the writing. Objectively speaking, I think Five is the most well-written, and, more importantly, most coherently written character on the show (which does have to do with the fact that the show’s events are all sequential for him), and his arc and personality remain relatively intact over the course of the two seasons. More to the point, a giant part of what makes Five bearable as a character is that he is allowed to fail. He is written to have high highs and low lows, big victories through his skills and his intelligence, but also catastrophic failures and the freedom to be wrong. His superior intellect and skillset are not the be-all end-all of the plot or his character, just something that influences both. His inability for communication has not (yet) been used to fabricate a contrived misunderstanding that derails the plot and left all of us seething; instead, it’s a characteristic that makes him fail to reconnect with the people he loves. This is a bit simplified, as he does find common ground with Luther, for example, but in general, a lot of the rift between Five and his siblings is that they can’t relate to his traumas and he does not understand the depth of Reginald’s abuse, which is an interesting conflict worth exploring. Another thing that really works in Five’s favour is that he is definitely written to be mean and sarcastic, but it is never driven to the point of complete unlikability, and a lot of the time, the context makes it understandable why he reacts the way he does. Most of the sarcastic lines he gets are actually funny, that certainly helps, but in general, Five is a good example of a bearable character whose default personality is sharp and relatively cold, because it is balanced out with many moments of vulnerability. Delores is incredibly important for this in the first season, she is the main focus of Five’s humanising moments, and well-written as she totes the line between clearly being a coping mechanism for an extremely traumatised man and still coming across to the viewer as the human contact Five needs her to be. In the second season, the vulnerability is about his guilt for his siblings, it’s about Five connecting a little bit better to them. There’s also his relationship with the Commission and the Handler specifically – which honestly could be an essay on its own – that deserves a mention, because the Handler is why Five became the man he is, and this dynamic between creator and creation is explored in a very interesting way – their scenes are some of the most well-written in the entire show. And TUA never falls into the trap of making Five a hero, he is always morally ambiguous at best, and it just makes for an interesting, multi-faceted character, well-written character, and none of the characteristics that should make him unlikeable are allowed to take centre-stage for long enough to be defining on their own. I know a lot of people especially champion the scenes where Five goes apeshit, but without his more nuanced characterisation, if he was like that all the time, those scenes would not hit as hard.
Aidan Gallagher’s Performance is Underrated
But honestly, none of the above would matter that much if the Umbrella Academy didn’t luck out hard with the casting of Aidan Gallagher. I think what he achieves as an actor in this show is genuinely underappreciated. Like, the first season set out to cast six adults having to deal with various ramifications of childhood trauma, and a literal child that had to be able to act smart and wise beyond his years, seamlessly integrate into a family of adults while seeming like an adult, traumatised by the literal end of the world, AND had to be able to create the romantic chemistry of a thirty-year-long marriage with a lifeless department store doll. The only role I could think of to compare is Kirsten Dunst in Interview with a Vampire, where she plays a vampire child who, because she is undead, doesn’t age physically, but does mentally, so she’s 400 in a child’s body. And Kirsten Dunst had to do that for a two-hour movie. Five is a main character in a show that spans 20 episodes now. That’s insane, and it’s a risk. Five is a character that can’t be allowed to go wrong; if you don’t buy Five as a character, the entire first season loses believability. And they found someone who could do that not only convincingly, but also likeably. As I said, he is incredibly helped by the costuming department and the script, but Aidan Gallager’s Five has so much personality, he’s threatening and funny and charming and arrogant and heartbreaking. He has the range to be convincing in the quiet moments where Five’s humanity comes to show and in the moments where Five goes completely off the rails. Most child actors act with other children, but he is the only child in the main cast, and holds his own in scenes with adults not as a child, but as an adult on equal footing with the other adult characters. That’s not something to be taken for granted. But even apart from the fact that it’s a child actor who carries a lot of the plot and the drama of a series for adults, Aidan Gallagher’s portrayal of Five is also just so much fun. The comedic timing is on point, he has the dramatic chops for the serious scenes, the mannerisms and visual ticks add to the character rather than distract from him, and his line deliveries, paired with his physical acting, make Five arrogant and smug but never outright malicious and unlikeable. It’s just some terrific acting that really does justice to the character as he is written, but the writing would not be as strong if it wasn’t delivered and acted out the way Aidan Gallagher does. He is an incredible asset for this show.
Alright, onto concluding this rambling. If you made it this far, I commend you, and thank you for it. The point of all of this is that Five, as a character, could have been an unmitigated disaster of a TV character. He is overpowered, arrogant, uncommunicative and could so easily have been either unconvincing or completely unlikeable, but he turned out to be neither. It’s a combination of choices in the costume department, decisions in the writing room, and Aidan Gallagher’s acting skills that make the things that should make him obnoxious and annoying incredibly entertaining, and I hope you liked my long-winded exploration of these. Some nuance was lost along the way, but if I had not stopped myself, this would’ve become a full-blown thesis.
#thanks for the ask again#TUA#The Umbrella Academy#Five Hargreeves#tua s2 spoilers#my meta#i guess#Replies#Anonymous
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Kraid!
KKKKKRRRRAAAAAIIIIIIDDDDD
I was trying to avoid as much of Metroid Dread as possible to be surprised... But then I learned KRAID is back, in glorious HD as part of a mainline game and...
Oh, he’s beautiful!
Seriously, I’ve always wanted to see more of Kraid! Dude was one of the OG Space Pirates alongside Mother Brain and Ridley, who are present throughout the series; And as someone who is apparently Ridley’s Brother-in-Arms, I’m just really curious on what he could be like?
I doubt we’ll get much if anything in terms of personality, but that’s how Metroid games work anyway! Hopefully we get more lore on Kraid, how is he still alive? Does he have regenerative abilities, is he just really incredibly durable? An X-parasite imitation? Fake Kraid has grown up and this is Sclayd? Did the Chozo clone him, maybe even somehow resurrect him from a dead body, or even the afterlife considering their borderline mystical abilities???
Either way, that’s clever of the designers to have Kraid be restrained, as a meta explanation as to why he doesn’t just charge forward- Thus allowing the developers to start off with a traditional take on the Kraid fight... But since he manages to break an arm free in the trailer, the fight might progress and get more deadly, as Kraid becomes more free.
His neck brace will probably be the last to go, to show a sort of natural transition from the traditional style of Kraid fights, to a more modernized take and I am all FOR it! Everyone’s wondering if Ridley will return, but Kraid alone would MORE than make up for his absence, especially since Ridley is already so prevalent while Kraid has only gotten bread crumbs and the Brinstar Depths stage in recent years!
This is like a dream come true... And obviously Kraid is set up to fight Samus, but it’d be kind of neat to see an arc where him and Samus recognize a mutual enemy in the Chozo, and work with each other over it? Probably not, but I feel this would be more plausible than Samus and Ridley working together; A fun thought exercise I’d always entertained, but there really isn’t that personal vitriol between Samus and Kraid.
...I mean, there COULD be if Kraid takes Ridley’s death personally, but who knows, he might hold off on revenge just long enough for a practical escape! Regardless, I utterly adore just how gnarly and twisted this guy looks, it reminds me of Ridley’s Smash Ultimate renders that really modernize his look, breathe a new and alien life to it while still being the same! And the added, slimy body horror, borderline insectoid, like Smash Ridley!
But yes, I appreciate Metroid Dread taking the opportunity to be new, instead of trying to cater to the mainstream audience as an official return to pull them back, especially since we already had Samus Returns do that, especially with Proteus Ridley being thrown in! And with how Proteus was by far the best Ridley fight in the series, I can’t WAIT to see how Mercury Steam gives a new action to a Kraid boss battle!
And it looks like there might be a passageway behind Kraid that he’s guarding... Kind of like his previous appearances, I love Kraid being a giant guard dog- His girth and weight alone makes him an impenetrable wall! Plus he gives immovable object vibes, VS Ridley as an Unstoppable Force.
Ridley moves fast and aggressively leads the charge, while Kraid is less mobile, can’t even fit through most passageways; But holds down the fort and line of defense, tanking damage and shrugging it off compared to someone who heals from it!
Seriously, this is great seeing this under appreciated Space Pirate represented! I’ve always been salty about Meta Kraid being left out of Metroid Prime... And Kraid’s got a distinct identity of his own as one of the biggest bosses in the entire series by a long shot!
His big, colossal, green and chunky frame, that brutishness to Kraid, the size and brawn- It’s a nice contrast and foil to Ridley’ who is memetically huge in general, but from a relative standpoint averagely-sized as a boss, and MUCH scrawnier than the Awakened Behemoth; But he makes up for it wit speed and agility, flight, etc.!
Plus the concept of taking on a full-on Kaiju of the series, Metroid’s Godzilla... I always felt like there was a wasted potential to Kraid and how he stood out as a counterpart to Ridley’ more of the lumbering mountain to scale compared to the acrobatic Cunning God of Death! His Kaiju size, the way the ground could easily tremble from each footstep like Jurassic Park...
If Ridley is a Xenomorph, make Kraid into Godzilla and Rexy and every giant monster whose sheer scale inspires a horror based in awe, one that is huge and grandiose and demands attention and seizes all of it, gloriously basking in full view, in contrast to the more stealthy and subtle Ridley!
They’re both reptilian Space Pirates who debuted with the franchise, serve Mother Brain alongside one another as the two guardians to Tourian. And just like Ridley taking one of the recurring boss themes from Super Metroid and adopting it as HIS theme, Kraid seems to have done the same by Zero Mission!
Plus, Brinstar Depths, AKA Kraid’s Lair, is SUCH a metal soundtrack! It doesn’t necessarily apply to Kraid himself, but I feel like there’s an enigmatic personality hinted with the eerie, melodic tune of this theme... So as someone who’s tried to write him, mostly in my head;
What kind of person is Kraid? What archetypes and roles would he fit? As a more casual type of arch-nemesis, compared to the personal intensity of Ridley? A dumb brute, or smart in his own way? What personality and vibes would make Kraid’s Lair fit as a theme for him?
At the very least, I wonder if we’ll get Space Pirate lore, maybe even origins as to Kraid and Ridley’s species? They’re both huge dragons who took over Zebes... Could there be a connection between Ridley’s species and the Chozo? Will we get a bit of sympathy for Kraid, seeing him captured like an animal by the Chozo, perhaps to test experiments upon and clone?
Will Dread encapsulate the realization of just how much of a bigger scope villain the True Chozo are, experimenting on Kraid the way the Galactic Federation did with Ridley’s clone, another parallel between them? Will we explore the dark past of the Chozo, and a potential tragic look into Kraid’s species- So Samus has a better understanding of how her people have been terrible in many ways, even if that doesn’t at all justify Kraid the person’s actions?
Just... Imagine a storyline where Samus realizes that Kraid was made by the Chozo, or his species was, or they were genetically augmented or massacred, or something like that. Just a twisted moment of realization that explains but doesn’t justify. Which could lead to Samus and Kraid teaming up for a prison breakout at a pivotal moment, Kraid’s girth would make him a helpful ally.
Perhaps Samus could weaponize Kraid in the background to take the brunt of the True Chozo’s attacks, while she takes on the leader? Could he help with environmental terrain, blind to the background as a colossal feature of the environment, a kaiju briefly on your side?
Could we get a Kraid fight where he attacks from the background, instead of to the right? Will he ultimately die helping Samus- More for his own gain and revenge, but still? Maybe even leading to a reluctant salute from Samus as she recognizes them both as people captured, as experimented upon by the Chozo? Apologies for all of the fanon conjecture, my mind is racing...!
I think there’s SO much potential with Kraid and seeing him full, unadulterated HD glory... It’s glorious. It’s magnificent! This is a dream come true, and I hope Kraid finally starts to get the recognition he deserves! Even if he’s just A boss fight, I’m already sated and content here- And I can only imagine the new wave of fan content that will spawn for Kraid, as he’s recognized a defining moment of Dread!
Plus, I’d love to see people characterize and give lore to Kraid... All in all I am LIVING and in triumph here!!! I know I keep using this meme but
Literally this alone, just these shots... Are ALL I really want and need, in the end! Bless you Mercury Steam for this food, for breathing new life into this franchise while renovating what really needs it! I don’t even care if Kraid’s return is never really explained, I’m incredibly happy here!
This new design... It just FITS and works as a new, evergreen design for Kraid honestly! Compared to Ridley who is a lot more varied and arguably inconsistent, even with his Smash render... THIS is the new and definitive Kraid for me, now! I am having the time of my LIFE here!
Ridley the Cunning God has cheated death... is Kraid the Behemoth has reawakened!
(With the idea of Prime Kraid being reused for Metroid Prime 4... I’m wondering if we’ll begin to see an all new Kraid renaissance? 👀 More frequent content as Nintendo starts giving him and more appearances and attention, including in other media and advertising, alongside Ridley???)
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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 18, second part
(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)
Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!
Hey OP where’s the funny header gif for this post? Sorry, it was murdered by an angst demon and the framing of these shots.
My Found Family Came to Find Me
Continuing our flashback from last time, we see Baby Wei Ying up a tree, refusing to come down because he's afraid there are dogs. Eventually he falls out of the tree, like a dumbass a child, and Yanli tries but fails to catch him.
Unlike his grownup counterpart, Baby Wei Ying doesn't pretend he's unhurt when he is hurt. I'd like to put the change at Yu Ziyuan's door, but actually he admits to being hurt during his Gusu summer - he mimics Lan Zhan's stoicism when they're getting beaten, but it doesn't come naturally to him, and he whines a lot afterwards.
By the time of the Animatronic Dog incident, however, he's laughing off obvious injuries that have secret trauma behind them. By the time he comes back, coreless, from the burial mounds, he won't confide in anyone about his hurts any more, except possibly Wen Qing.
Yanli carries Wei Ying, in a sequence that will be echoed much later in his life when Lan Zhan carries him (gifset here). While they head back, she tells him that Jiang Cheng has a bad temper and to ignore whatever mean things he says. This will also be echoed in the future, when Wei Wuxian says it to Lan Zhan after their argument with Jiang Cheng in the shrine.
Yanli also explains that Jiang Cheng loved his dogs and that he's been very sad since Jiang Fengmian sent them away, demonstrating once again that Jiang Fengmian is a terrible father. Yanli says that Jiang Cheng will be happy to have a friend with him, though. This kind of makes Wei Wuxian's role in Jiang Cheng's life "replacement dog."
Jiang Cheng, after getting over this particular snit, got worried about Wei Wuxian and woke up Yanli to find him, and then went wandering around in the dark like a dumbass a child, and is banged up and crying when the other two find him. Yanli encourages him to apologize to Wei Wuxian and he does, which will not happen again until the very end of the show.
They all smile and laugh together, as Wei Ying looks to Yanli to guide him through the insanity that his life has suddenly become.
(more behind the cut!)
They head back to Lotus Pier in a sweet montage of walking and smiling together, with Jiang Cheng carrying the world's most beautiful candle holder with the world's most wind-resistant candle in it, to light their way back. Back in the present day for a brief moment, Jiang Cheng pretends to sleep and listens to his sister insisting that the three of them should always stay together, while a single tear rolls down the side of his face.
Soup is Love, Chapter 1 of 1000
Then we head to the past again. In Jiang Cheng & Wei Ying's now-shared room, Wei Ying sits on the bed trying to figure out how to deal with his grumpy new roommate.
Wei Ying is unsure what to do when confronted with pajama game this strong. Tiny Jiang Cheng is already a fashion king.
Then he tells Jiang Cheng he's not going to narc him out to the clan leader, since it was his own fault that he hurt his leg. This is all Jiang Cheng needs to hear to decide Wei Ying is all right, and he says that he will help Wei Ying chase away dogs in the future. In fact, Wei Wuxian will protect Jiang Cheng from punishment basically forever, while Jiang Cheng will continue to threaten Wei Wuxian with dogs...forever.
They shake hands on their new understanding and then jump up and down laughing, Wei Ying's leg being all better now, apparently. When Yanli arrives (carrying a tray of...can you guess? I'll let you guess), they stop jumping. Wei Ying dives in to give Jiang Cheng a little tickle/embrace in an adorable moment that would have me saying "oh, my ovaries!" if I hadn't surgically sent my ovaries to hell a few years ago.
Yanli introduces Wei Ying to the emotional and gustatorial miracle that is her lotus and ribs soup. He hesitates a long time before tucking in because he's so unused to being fed.
Consent? I Don’t Even Know Her
The flashback wraps up with Yanli conked out on the table from the drugs in the incense burner, while Wei Wuxian, who is somehow unaffected despite sitting almost as close to the smoke as she was, checks on her. Jiang Cheng and his Uggs period-appropriate sock thingies get out of bed to come stand with Wei Wuxian, and have feelings about sending Yanli away after she JUST said she doesn't want to be parted from them.
Wei Wuxian: If she didn't want us to do this, she shouldn't have signed that blanket consent-to-medical-treatment form.
Jiang Cheng: Wen Qing made me sign one of those plus a durable power of attorney, is that bad?
This episode is all about people overriding each others' agency and making massively important decisions without the consent of the people who will be affected. But in a feudal context, it's not a violation, no matter how it feels to the person being controlled. In feudal life, your body belongs to your lord -- your sect leader, in the world of CQL. Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng's choices are overridden by their clan leader's final command to Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian's core is arguably Jiang Fengmian's property--Wei Wuxian certainly sees it that way, just as his hand was Yu Ziyuan's to take if she wished.
The brothers tenderly tuck Yanli into bed in the rolly cart and hand her off to Song Lan. They talk about how important it is to get her to Lanling and that she's probably going to be mad, as they thank Song Lan for helping them.
Yanli listens while she sleeps and, in what is becoming a trademark Jiang move, lets a single tear roll down the side of her face. Jiang Cheng points out that Yanli never gets mad at Wei Wuxian and Wei Wuxian is like, true dat.
How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?
Song Lan is always so emotional about every damn thing, I love him. Here he's like OH GOD NO DON'T FORMALLY THANK ME! STOP!!!
Then he starts to ask Wei Wuxian to pass a message to Song Xingchen for him, but then decides not to say anything, making it super obvious that they fought and aren't together.
Wei Wuxian reacts to this with confusion and distress, probably because he doesn't want to imagine ever having a breakup with his own soulmate. Which he soon will be having. But possibly he's just upset that his OTP broke up.
After Song Lan takes off, Jiang Cheng gives Wen Qing a rude & perfunctory thank-you bow, turning away before she can return it. Wei Wuxian tells her not to take it to heart - basically everyone who deals with Jiang Cheng gets a version of the "ignore what he says" speech. She says she understands and that in his place she would have behaved worse, which is so totally not true.
Then she asks Wei Wuxian if he's sure about the core transfer (not in so many words, because the script is being kind of being vague about it, without actually hiding what's happening). His reply pretty much encapsulates the whole Wei Wuxian experience.
Then he and Jiang Cheng walk off, with Jiang Cheng giving us a rear view that had me googling Wang Zhuocheng's fashion shoots to determine if that wagon he's draggin’ is really as delightful as this belt makes it look. Alas, there is not a wealth of photographic evidence for this research, as compared to, for example, photos of Xiao Zhan's outstanding ass.
Wen Qing and Wen Ning see them off, with Wen Qing wishing they valued their lives more. Although, what she and Wen Ning are doing is massive treason, so their lives will be pretty much forfeit if they're caught, so...
The Sunshot Campaign of Like 60 Dudes
Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng walk up the mountain for the whole beginning of the Sunshot campaign, which...okay. Maybe it's like Dunkirk or The Witcher where they intercut stuff that is happening in different timeframes, which is one of my least favorite new film style thingies.
You know, for a guy Wei Wuxian constantly calls "peacock," Jin Ziyuan really doesn't wear a lot of adornment; just some subtle metalwork on his belt with no dangly bits at all, and a single reasonably-sized hair crown. Compared to the extremely fancy Lan Wangji he's almost plain. We already know that Wei Wuxian is a massive hypocrite when it comes to his idea of a perfect boy, however.
So, this is the Lanling Jin army, which consists of literally 60 guys, including the ones on the stairs and Jin Zixuan and Douchebag Dad. How are they going to fight a war with this tiny group? Why do they have such a big plaza? Hasn't anybody on this production learned CGI cloning?
That’s better.
Nie Mingjue and his best bitch Baxia make quick work of the 4 Wen guys who were assigned to hold the Unclean Realm.
Hello, Daddy Da-Ge!
Squeeee, it's Lan Wangji! He's taking back Cloud Recesses! Ooooohhh we've missed you Lan Wangji.
Look guys he's here! Look how beautiful he is. He's looking at the gate of cloud recesses and thinking thoughts that Lan Xichen or Wei Wuxian could probably see in his bewitching eyes if they were here to see him, which they aren't. But at least he is here!
....and now he's gone again. *cries*
Hares On The Mountains
Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian continue roaming prettily around this pretty mountainside. The locations in this show are such eye candy.
Young laddies they run like hares on the mountains
Young laddies they run like hares on the mountains
Young laddies they run like hares on the mountains
If I was a young lass I’d soon go a hunting
Jiang Cheng starts to have doubts about the whole Baoshan Sanren thing. Wei Wuxian's reply pretty much encapsulates the whole Wei Wuxian experience.
Then we have just the tenderest blindfolding scene, (more gifs here), which is fodder for your ChengXian dreams, if you have those.
Here's a good place for a sidebar about what is and isn't incest. Whee! In the CDrama context, relationships tend to be more clearly defined than in western media. The mechanism of confession & acceptance means that people either are or are not in a romantic relationship, with few grey areas. So a character can literally say "we grew up as brother and sister, but now we are dating" and when someone looks startled they just say "there's no blood relation" and everyone is like "cool cool" and that's the new definition of the relationship.
For a strong example of this, the extremely wonderful Go Ahead is about a contemporary family in which a girl and two boys, who are not blood relatives, are all raised together, and call each other brother and sister. When they become adults, they and everyone around them expect the girl (now a woman) to marry one of the two men who have been her brothers, while whichever one she doesn't choose will carry on as her sibling. It's treated as the most natural, logical thing in the world; the only question is whether she wants to make that transition, and with whom.
Looked at through this lens, Wei Wuxian's relationships with his adoptive siblings have just as much potential to turn into romances as his relationships with his friends do, and there's nothing creepy about it. As such you can expect my meta to always get into ChengXian moments without treating it as a wrong or forbidden love. Hopeless, of course, because Jiang Cheng is such a prick the power of WangXian is stronger, but that's a different matter.
What is wrong is wearing this fantastic hat & veil combination when the most fashionable person on the mountain is blindfolded and can't see it.
In the course of this blindfolded encounter with Wen Qing, Jiang Cheng gets to kneel before a powerful woman, be led along by a length of silk that's placed in his hand, and then knocked the fuck out and operated on. He'll wake up in a hotel room in a tub full of ice with "we took your kidney" written on the mirror in lipstick, and he'll love every minute of it.
Soundtrack: 1. Still Fighting it, by Ben Folds 2. Hares on the Mountain, by Steeleye Span
Writing Prompt: The NEXT time somebody blindfolds Jiang Cheng
#fytheuntamed#the untamed#the untamed gifs#chengxian#cql#restless rewatch the untamed#canary3d-original#my gifs
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Is it bad that I feel Penny’s 2nd permanent death has cheapened the stakes to me to such an extent I don’t care if the character’s life are in danger or even ended? Unless they die in a particularly gruesome manner…I don’t care. Penny’s death was cheap, tasteless, and I think sucked all the stakes to me.
I've personally had a problem with RWBY's death stakes ever since Weiss' injury in the Haven fight. Making that an episode cliffhanger when we all knew RT would never commit to killing one of the main four, using that as the means of unlocking Jaune's semblance, and then, importantly, never following up on how Weiss deals with a near-death experience felt quite cheap to me. It was a moment where death/grievous injury was used only for the week long shock value (similar to Oscar's disappearance in Volume 6) and a means of furthering Jaune's abilities rather than Weiss' emotional growth (particularly egregious in a show where 99% of the cast already has their semblances unlocked. Revealing them in a dramatic, life-or-death situation was never an expectation). The fact that it was such a departure from how the story treated Yang in the past — committing to her injury and allowing her time to come to terms with it — just made it all the worse.
However, though this was one moment out of one volume that fans might be willing to overlook for a variety of reasons, Volumes 7-8 just failed so spectacularly and so often that yeah, death has no real meaning in this show anymore.
Let's tally things up:
Clover dies in large part to Qrow's stupidity. This is never acknowledged.
Qrow instead swears vengeance against Ironwood. They never meet again.
Whether everyone agrees or not, this entire situation came too close to queerbaiting for some fans.
Clover's corpse/the environment is badly animated, leading to confusion about whether he actually died.
Oscar is shot off of Atlas in a move that would have been a killing blow if not for Ozpin's unexpected magic. He never works through this and likewise never even explains things to the rest of the group, adding to the secrets issue.
The councilman is randomly shot by Ironwood, signaling his fast-track towards villainy.
The Ace Ops and, more importantly, Winter all witness this, yet it has no impact on them remaining loyal until leaving him serves the plot.
Ironwood tearing the flesh off his arm to save everyone from Watts is treated as evidence of his lack of humanity and the prosthetic he gets carries is designed to highlight how Evil he is now.
Fria dies which has little emotional weight because we knew nothing about her. She was quite literally only a vessel for the powers and was treated as such by the story.
The Hound, introduced as an incredibly formidable foe, is done in by a badly developed power and a falling suit of armor. There's no interest in who that faunus was, only what this implies for Summer.
Hazel death is confusing af. He couldn't have burned to death that fast. Oscar's cane shouldn't have hurt him based on what else we see. Where's the body? All of this follows a split-second "redemption."
Vine sacrifices himself and no one cares because we knew nothing about him. Also it's kind of weird to frame his heroic suicide as, you know, heroic after a volume of telling Penny she can't do the same. It's just weird mixed messaging.
Rhodes was killed incredibly fast by his kid student and although I care a little about him, the general consensus is that this was a girlboss moment because flawed men trying to help are the worst, right? Far worse than a villain we established in Episode One.
Watts presumably burns to death off screen.
Ironwood presumably drowns off screen.
Jacques is blown up without any of his family knowing about it. He's blown up because Winter just... left Ironwood's gun-gun by the cell?
The community is still debating whether Maria and Pietro are alive. Was Amity still falling? Was there any way off? Why don't any of the characters worry about them, one of whom is Pietro's daughter?
Yang "dies" after a single hit and only Blake gets to react to that.
The rest of the group (plus Jaune) quickly follow, to the surprise of no one.
Penny is resurrected with little fanfare, is stripped of her cyborg nature, gears up to take on Cinder with Weiss and Jaune, is instantly taken out, and then convinces the healer of the group to kill her.
The Altas arc has so much death and grievous injury — clearly trying to be the next Volume 3 — and yet none of it has an (enjoyable) impact on me. Sometimes that's because RT is killing off side characters they never bothered to develop. Sometimes it's because the writing is so confusing idek if the character is dead. Sometimes it's because the circumstances induce anger rather than grief. Penny's second death definitely caused a reaction, but not the one RT was going for. I was frustrated with how badly constructed this suicide was, disappointed in how the circumstances leading up to this erased so much that's wonderful about Penny's character, and yeah, disgusted that we were right back to that Volume 5 Weiss scenario: here's the graphic death/almost death of one of the girls to forward his story. Only this time, instead of just getting a cauterized spear to the gut, RT thought assisted-suicide via sword was the way to go.
Penny's original death was heart wrenching. Pyrrha's was tragic due to how avoidable it was. Roman's was shocking and perfect for setting the new stakes. We didn't know if Ozpin survived, but back then that was the point — a mystery to reveal next volume — not because the scene was badly constructed, or the writing seemingly just forgot that characters existed. And again, flawed as it was in some respects, we got a story of Yang losing an arm and coming to terms with that. Now, we get the story of a man losing his arm and that makes him lose his intelligence and conscience too, I guess.
I'm trying to think of a post-Volume 3 death that hit home and I'm coming up short. But deaths like Sienna or Tock, while carrying their own problems, didn't really hint at the over-arching problem with character deaths the story now has. With the comparative wealth of fatalities we got in Volumes 7-8, I was finally able to step back and go, "Wow. Right...none of that did anything for me." And yeah, as one of the most shocking deaths, as a second death, and as one of the oldest and most beloved side characters, Penny encapsulates that best of all.
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Where The Wild Things Are (2009) - Crumby review #1
Hello! Thank you for reading this review! In these reviews I will try to encapsulate what I loved or hated in a piece of media. At the end, instead of giving it a score I’ll compare it to a food or a specific taste and experience. Enjoy!
The first time I saw this film was my freshman year of college. I was severely depressed and spent most of my days grinding through movies I’d always wanted to watch but never got the chance to. I can’t remember what specifically inspired me to watch this one in particular. I was interested in the film when I was a kid but never got the chance to see it. It could’ve been some podcast or video essay but either way this movie captivated me back then. There was no doubt in my mind that I was watching something truly special. I couldn’t quite verbalize it at the time but the movie resonanted with some forgotten part of me.
Well, it’s been 5 years and lucky for me but unlucky for you. I now have the capacity to verbalize why this movie slaps! This film is an enigma. When most directors are given the chance to adapt a childens book they usually choose to either expand on the initial work while staying recognizable or do the same plot but pad it out with humor or OCs voiced by whoever is popular at the time. WTWA is definitely the former rather than the latter. Spike Jonze (who I was shocked to learn was asked to make a children’s film) examines the themes of the original book and shows them to us not as they actually were but as we remembered them. It captures the duality of childhood especially for those of us that grew up emotionally unsatiated. The parents are overworked and tired, the siblings are bored and apathetic, and we the child want all the attention but are also repulsed by the world around us. Max wants his mother’s attention but can’t understand that she’s barely making ends meet and is exhausted. He throws temper tantrums and demands to be looked at with authority but cannot handle any repercussions. This is all expected because Max is a literal child. The film isn’t trying to punish max nor does it seem interested in criticizing him. Max does face consequences but it doesn’t feel like watching veggie tales or my little pony where there’s an unseen moral inquisitor making sure everyone suffers. In this film it feels natural and like the characters are truly making organic decisions. Max is confronted by monsters who mimick his ego and through this confrontation he realizes what he needs to change in his own life. The best part of all of this is it’s done through subtle storytelling. A lot of Max’s feelings and actions are only explained through visuals, there’s no exact moment when a character just says the point of why everything is happening. Nor, is there a moment where Max just says “This is the lesson I learned”. It truly feels like the film is trying to present and define elements of the human experience that are intangible. It’s more about the emotions and thoughts that are evoked than it is about bringing the viewer to one unified answer. There is no perfect phrase for when you know you’ve gone too far but can’t apologize or when you go from an emotional high to a sadness that leaves you nonverbal and sobbing. the cinematography helps to support this goal of portraying rampant whimsy married with brutal emotional unruliness. We get tons of wide shots filled with negative space and the film is not afraid to let the camera linger for just the right amount of time. The opening of the film is a perfect punch in the face to introduce us to Max. It was honestly one of the best looking movies I’ve seen in a while. The cgi faces of the monsters took a bit to get used to but props on them for using actual constumes for the most part.
I found the characters to be off putting at first with their super laidback manner of speech but soon I warmed up to them. The film even got several verbal chuckles out of me which is a good sign! Not that I’m a hard nut to crack lol. Max’s acting was absolutely superb. I’m too lazy to look up if this kid was nominated for anything but this has got to be one of the most realistic portrayals of a troubled child in film and there are A LOT of troubled children in film. The ost was phenomenal except for a few licensed songs that just felt too generic for me. “Hideaway” is a hood classic ofc but some of the other songs were just too on the nose. Any time I heard an indie musician scream as Max was getting angry I cringed. Lastly, while I would suggest anyone reading this to watch the film, I can’t really reccommend it for children. I don’t agree that it’s inappropriate but I don’t think they’d really get it. This film is more like Boyhood, Eighth Grade, or The Florida Project, where the point is moreso to look at childhood in retrospection than to explain these feelings to children. Those are my thoughts at least, I’m not a parent yet haha!
I’d consider this movie a subtle and masterfully crafted parfait you have on a lonely stroll through the city. The beginning of your day was full of dissappointments and all your plans fell through. The museum is closed and your friends forgot any plans you may have made. You think about just heading home and calling the day a bust, but on your way to the car you see a cute, humble, diner having a sale on desserts. You decide to treat yourself and partake. Plus, it’s been a while since you ate out and payday was yesterday so it won’t hurt too bad. The line moves too fast and you get anxious when the cashier asks for your order. So you pick a random parfait. Great, another dissappointment. You go to an outside table and sit. At first, you feel angry at yourself. This was the one mistake you could’ve controlled but you failed like you always do. You grab a spponful of your food expecting something that’s ok but not as good as it could’ve been. You’re wrong, the parfait is not too sweet but not underwhelming either. It’s just enough to kep you chasing for more. Your cheeks feel flush and for the first time all day your body is able to relax. You keep digging into your cup taking bite after bite riding this high of creamy sweetness. In this pursuit, you feel happy but before you know it there’s no parfait left. Usually you’d get mad at yourself for eating too fast but then it hits your stomach. You feel like a boulder. There’s no way you can get up now, so you stay and watch the cityscape. You see a nervous couple on a date. You can tell it must be a first one becuase they keep chattering away stealing the silence with nervous yet authentic banter. They seem truly happy. You see a child walking with their father. the kid trips and scrapes their knee. As they look up towards their dad it seems like a meltdown is imminent. Tears are sloshing down and their face is turning to a violent shade of red, resembling that of a scared and dejected yet powerful stop sign but the dad is able to make enough silly faces and noises to bring the kid back to a state of happiness. watching this reminds you of when you were a kid. You feel the cold autmn breeze pass through you and dance through the trees, bringing that nostalgic autumn scent with it. You realize it’s been a while since you’ve had a moment like this to yourself. A moment to just be. It feels nice, today was nice.
Thank you for reading this! It took a lot of motivation lol. Look forward to more and have a Happy Valentines Day!
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Coming Out (Bisexuality) || Draco Malfoy Headcanon
I wrote this because well, first of all, no one and I mean NO BLOODY ONE can convince me that Draco Malfoy is straight. He is either bi, pan or omnisexual but in no way, shape or form is he a heterosexual man and I’ve settled on that, so I wanted to write how he’d come out to you.
Then second of all, because I was thinking about how I figured out I was bisexual just under a year ago and how when I came out to my boyfriend he basically said, “Oh, I know.” And just fucking kissed me??? (A lot more happened before and after but that’s the gist of it) And I think Draco would have a similar reaction to finding out his girlfriend is bisexual.
Anyway, this ended up being a super long head canon and I’m starting to think I do them wrong??? Either way, let me know what you all think
jean <3
<~>
Him Coming Out To You
Draco is shitting himself about coming out to you
Not because he thinks you won’t accept him but because you’re the first person he’s coming out to
And he doesn’t know how this stuff goes
He’s known that he’s bi since way before Hogwarts
But with the nature of his parents, he figured that it was best to sweep that little fact beneath the rug for a while
Maybe he even thought that he could completely forget about it, pretend that he’s straight and just live life like that
But one night at a party he accidentally kisses a really cute Gryffindor boy (who swears not to tell because he’s also deep within the closet)
And after that he knows that even if he doesn’t come out to everybody else, he needs to come out to himself and accept that this is who he is
So he does just that
He does a bunch of research, comes across a bunch of labels and finally settles on ‘Bisexual.’
He even secretly buys himself a little pin that he wears inside his robe, every single day
So fastforward to you dating
You’re maybe 6 months in when he realises that he’s utterly and hopelessly in love with you
And that if there’s anyone in the world he wants to see all of him, it’s you
So he starts planning it out- the perfect date so that he can tell you perfectly- and settles on a nice picnic in the middle of the night outside(planning to sneak you both out so you can eat under the stars), the night of your seven month anniversary
But as luck would have it
IT FUCKING RAINS.
And he is SEETHING
it’s a bit hot if you’re being honest
But you’re so confused about why he’s angry
“What’s wrong love? We can do it another night when the weather’s cleared up.”
“No, it had to be tonight.” He paces around his dorm room in frustration and you sit on the edge of his bed while watching him
“Why?” You ask with a small laugh, “Why did it have to be tonight?”
He stops pacing, sighs, and mumbles something you don’t catch
“Sorry?”
He sighs again and turns to face you, “Because if I wait any longer then I’m scared I won’t be able to do it.”
“Do what?”
“Tell you something important.”
“So tell me now then.” You smile up at him and he shakes his head with a groan
“I can’t, this wasn’t how it was meant to go, it was meant to be perfect.”
You furrow your eyebrows and get off the bed to meet him in the middle of the room, taking his hands in your own and making him look into your eyes
“Isn’t it already perfect if we’re together?”
He melts at your words, literally just softening in your hands, and before he knows it the words are out
“I’m bisexual.”
oh
You should’ve seen it coming to be honest, no straight man would obsess that hard about Harry Potter
“Say something?” He asks- his eyes soft and scared as he watches your features for any indication of anger or disgust- “I hope you don’t hate me.” His voice cracks a little and suddenly you’re sucked back into reality
You cup his face in your hands and smile at him, “Why would I hate you?”
“I don’t know, because I’m-“
“Finish that sentence with anything other than, perfect, and I’ll kick you.” You say sternly but there’s smiles on both of your lips. “I love you, I love you so much and nothing in the world would change that, especially not something that makes you the incredible person that you are.”
You give him a quick kiss before pulling him toward you for a hug
He just melts into your embrace- feeling safe and loved and happy
And when you two eventually pull away and walk toward the bed to have your picnic on it instead, you finally decide to start asking questions
“So when did you figure it out?” You smile at him and his eyes light up at the opportunity to finally talk about his sexuality with someone
He tells you everything, including the fact that he puts on a little pin with the bi flag on the inside of his robe every morning- so that he can feel proud of who he is, even if he’s not ready for everyone else to know who that is just yet.
“Is that what you put in your robe every morning?”
“You noticed that?”
“Draco, you’re quite the sight to behold in the morning, of course I fucking noticed.”
You Coming Out To Him
You’re very nervous about it and don’t mention it first- unsure about how he’d take it.
A few summers before you’d had a cute summer fling with a girl that lived nearby but that was the first and last time you’d been with a girl because your parents were not happy when they found out.
“You have to end up with a nice pureblood boy.”
“What will people think when they find out our daughter is gay?”
And you’d try explaining that you’re not gay, you’re bi.
But they wouldn’t care and would dismiss you completely.
So after that you sunk further into the closet, only coming out to tell your previous boyfriend.
Who was horrified and even broke up with you over it because, “I don’t want you to cheat on me.”
So after your first two, horrid, coming out experiences you decided to give it a rest.
But then three months into dating Draco you realise that you have genuine and very serious feelings for him
And that you can’t hide such a big part of yourself from him
Especially because you’re not ashamed of being bisexual, you’re just scared to lose more people you love over it
And you decide that if he can’t love all of you then he doesn’t love you at all
So you break up
Jk jk
One night in the common room as you two sit on one of the couches by the fire you finally decide that the moment has come
You figure that you’ll never have the perfect moment, that once you’re ready you’ll do it
And you’re ready.
So you clear your throat to drag Draco’s attention away from the novel in his hands as you put your own down on a nearby table
He raises his eyebrows at you but follows suit- noticing that your exterior is suddenly very serious
And somehow you just drum up the courage to say it- looking into those kind and inviting eyes that he reserves only for you
“I’m, um, bisexual.”
He nods slowly and you can see the gears in his head turning, he knows the general meaning but wants you to expand, “Meaning, what exactly?”
“I… I’m attracted to more than one gender.” You say nervously, your voice shaking just a bit
He nods again and sighs before reaching over and pecking your lips. “Cool.”
You furrow your eyebrows in confusion at the blonde- having expected more of a reaction- “That’s it?”
He gives you a sheepish smile and scratches the back of his neck awkwardly
“I kind of already knew.”
Your eyes widen in a mix of shock, horror and amusement, “What?”
“I’ve known for a few weeks, I just wanted to let you tell me yourself.”
An exclamation of shock leaves your lips and you stare at him stunned
“I’m sorry I ruined your moment babe.” He chuckles then smirks at you, “Want me to pretend to be shocked?”
You grumble out some obscenities but nod regardless
And obviously his acting is atrocious
“Whaaaaaat? No bloody way? You? Bisexual? I would’ve never guessed it. You’ve shocked me toda-“
“Okay, that was horrible, thank you.”
“Anything for you love.” He pecks you and you roll your eyes with a smile.
A moment of silence until-
“Did you really think I didn’t know though?”
“Yes!”
“Love, you said, and I quote, ‘Pansy sure does have some nice legs.’”
You smack his arm as he chuckles at your embarrassment
“I could’ve been jealous.”
“You licked your lips!”
“Did not!”
His chuckles just get louder and you feel all of your earlier fear and tension melt away, “Okay, you didn’t, but you might as well have.”
“Asshole.”
He pulls you into his arms for cuddles and kisses your forehead, “Your asshole.”
“Yes.”
“I love you so much Y/N, thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.”
You smile and get comfortable in his arms as a silence encapsulates you both.
“Say it back! The fuck?”
#draco malfoy#draco#draco fluff#draco malfoy fluff#coming out#bisexuality#bisexual draco#draco coming out#draco x y/n#draco imagine#draco fanfiction#headcanon#draco headcanon#draco malfoy headcanon#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter fluff#harry potter x reader
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