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persephone-plasmids · 3 years

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Debriefing

Deacon and Sole fanfic.

[AO3]

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

Debriefing

Deacon and Sole walked in complete silence through the abandoned Nuka-World park. Not because they were worried they’d attract the attention of ferals, but because neither of them seemed to be mature enough to address the incredible kiss they’d both just shared. Of course, nearly having Sole kill him when she got poisoned by HalluciGen and meeting a super dramatic Ghoul named Oswald had also distracted them. But Deacon was fairly certain the kiss was the real reason for the silent treatment he was currently getting.

I shouldn’t have done it, Deacon thought to himself. Although even as he thought this, his mind replayed the sensation of Sole’s lips against his and he felt his cheeks flush.

Sole was walking ever-so-slightly ahead of him, her hips swaying back and forth in a way that Deacon tried to ignore.

Right. He needed to fix this. To get things back to normal.

“Hey Charmer, did I ever tell you about the time I went undercover as Magnolia for an entire week?”

Sole slowed her pace a bit so that Deacon could fall in step beside her. “Go on,” she said, raising an eyebrow with an amused look in her eye.

“I did the whole shebang. Donned the red dress, wore a black wig, sang all the songs.”

“Flirted with the patrons?” She asked.

“That was my favorite part,” Deacon said. “You wouldn't believe how many free drinks I got that week. It’s amazing what people will do for a pretty face.”

A smile tugged at the corner of Sole’s lips, but the action just brought Deacon’s attention right back to the very area he was trying to forget.

He cleared his throat nervously before continuing. “I'll tell you, though. I’m not a fan of shaving my legs. I could never quite get that little area behind my knee.”

At this, Sole snorted, trying to suppress her laugh and failing miserably. “How do you even come up with these ridiculous lies?”

She still wasn’t looking at him, but he preferred it that way. If she wasn’t looking at him, then they weren’t in danger of suddenly kissing each other.

“Who says that’s a lie?” Deacon asked, his voice easily slipping back into its smooth unconcerned cadence.

“Literally anyone who’s ever met you,” she said, looking down at the ground as they walked. “I can read you most of the time. But I’m finding it harder and harder these days.”

“Oh?” Deacon asked.

He wanted to know what she’d meant by that, but he never did get his answer. Instead, he heard the familiar clomp, clomp, clomp of power armor approaching them. Deacon rolled his eyes at the Paladin’s lack of subtlety and Sole moved a bit further away from Deacon.

The motion would have been almost imperceptible to anyone but him. But it still gave him complicated feelings. Was he hurt that she didn’t want to be seen being this familiar with him? Or did it give him hope that she was feeling that same connection to him, even if she was trying to ignore it.

“Soldier,” Danse said, nodding to Sole before turning to Deacon. “Liar.”

“Ouch,” Deacon said, placing a hand over his heart and stumbling back a few paces dramatically. “Shots fired, Paladin. Right out the gate too.”

“Told you everyone knows you’re a liar,” Sole said under her breath, grinning as she looked at Danse.

MacCready appeared suddenly beside Danse, out of breath and wiping blood from his hands. “There’s a serious Bloodworm infestation here. I think we should get out of Dry Rock Gulch. It’s not worth the effort.”

“That’s just as well,” Sole said. “The Synth isn’t in Nuka-World. They’ve already made it out of The Commonwealth.”

“Is that so?” Danse asked. “Outstanding!”

“Bingo!” Deacon shouted.

Everyone stopped and turned to look at him in confusion.

“Danse said ‘outstanding’. That’s the last square I needed on my boy scout bingo card.”

No one said anything. Instead, Sole’s cheeks immediately flushed a dark shade of scarlet as her eyes grew as wide as saucers. She stared at Deacon in horror and had she not immediately looked away from him again, he would have thought there was a Deathclaw behind him.

Danse cleared his throat uncomfortably before Sole began loudly speaking. “So, I think we’re all done here. The Synth is safe and we’re all alive. Let’s head out.”

Sole’s voice sounded unnatural. And the way Danse turned away from Deacon with a stronger look of annoyance on his face than normal, told him that something was wrong.

As Sole and Danse began walking away, Mac sidled up beside Deacon and said in a low voice, “Not really your color, is it?” Before snickering and joining Sole and the tin can.

Deacon brought his hand up to his lips. When he pulled them away, he could see that they were stained with Sole’s red lipstick.

“Perfect,” he groaned.

--------

Things back at Railroad HQ had been normal when Sole and Deacon returned to report to Desdamona. Painfully normal. The kind of normal you got when you were trying too hard to make things seem normal. Sole was still avoiding eye contact with Deacon, but when she thought he wasn’t looking, he’d catch her staring.

Again, his sunglasses proved beneficial for more than just his Railroad missions.

“Thank you both for your continued efforts on behalf of The Railroad,” Desdemona said, after they’d given her the news concerning the Synth in Nuka-World. “Charmer, you’re getting much more efficient in your debriefings.”

“Charmer can debrief me any time,” Deacon said, giving her finger guns as Sole just shook her head in exasperation.

“Deacon, do I need to refresh your memory on the no fraternization rule?” Desdamona asked.

“Oh come on, that was funny,” Deacon insisted.

“Deacon?” Desdamona was still waiting for him to answer.

“No Des. I’ll do my best to shield your ears from my incredible wit. But just know you’ll be missing out.”

“I think I’ll survive,” Des said shortly. “You’re both dismissed.”

And with that, the imposing woman walked away.

“Sheesh, tough crowd,” Deacon said, pulling on the collar of his white shirt for effect as he smiled over at Sole.

“I mean… she is right though,” Sole said, looking down at her hands instead of at Deacon. “We probably shouldn’t joke about stuff like that.”

“Are you… we joke about that kind of stuff all the time,” Deacon said incredulously. “I mean… if it makes you uncomfortable of course I’ll stop. I just… thought that was sort of our thing.”

Deacon could feel his cheeks heating up as he desperately tried to save the situation. If Sole was uncomfortable with their joking, it was news to him. She was usually the one to start the innuendos. But he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

The kiss may have tarnished their friendship a bit, mostly because it made it impossible for Deacon to keep lying to himself about his feelings. But he didn’t want it to completely ruin what they already had.

“I just… don’t want people to talk,” Sole said simply, still looking down at her hands.

“Yeah, of course, Boss. Whatever you say,” Deacon answered, rubbing the back of his neck before trying to assume a nonchalant posture. “Just trying to keep things light. I’ll resort to the old failsafes instead. You know… the nuclear apocalypse… the hopelessness of our existence… Danse’s extensive grooming routine.”

Sole almost smiled at this last bit. He could tell from the way her jaw tensed. But instead of smiling she just nodded. “Thanks, Deeks.”

Without another word, Sole gave Deacon a curt smile, turned on her heel, and walked away, leaving him totally and utterly confused about where they stood.

Idiot, he thought. Did I seriously think I could kiss Sole without things getting weird? Do I really want to throw away my closest friendship just because I… what? Feel something for her? Big deal. I feel something for Fancy Lad Snack Cakes and I’m not making moves on them.

Deacon refrained from letting out the gigantic sigh that had settled in his chest, not wanting to draw attention to himself. Instead, he ducked into the escape tunnel and out the back door into the small underground room just beyond the main section of Railroad HQ.

Pulling out a cigarette, Deacon nearly jumped out of his skin when Sole lit a match beside him.

“Geez! Are you kidding me?” Deacon whisper-shouted at her, jumping back against the wall and hitting his head in the process.

He dropped his unlit cigarette to the ground and rubbed the back of his head where it had made contact with the bricks.

“I thought you were always aware of your surroundings.”

“And I thought you were a baby Deathclaw about to drag me off to mommy like a bleeding morbid trophy,” he said, still whisper-shouting. “Why are you back here, Sole?”

“I needed some alone time,” she said, her face slightly amused as she watched him come down from his scare. “And then you just followed right behind me.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” Deacon said. “I didn’t even see you come back here. Trust me, I don’t go around looking for humiliation more than once a day.”

“Excuse me?” Sole asked, her eyes narrowing at his words.

Deacon swallowed, realizing he was being too honest again. He didn’t want her to know he was hurt. Hell, he didn’t even want her to know he had actual feelings for her.

“I mean… I have gone looking for humiliation in the past,” he began, trying to think up a lie funny enough to distract Sole from his honesty. “Like this one time--.”

“Deacon, stop,” Sole said, shaking her head. “Sorry, I just… I can’t do this.”

“Yep, no problem,” Deacon said automatically, without really knowing what she was talking about specifically.

Odds were, he probably didn’t want to know. He’d made a point of detaching himself from the people around him. It was a necessity in The Railroad. But it had also been crucial for his survival after Barbara. Sole broke down that resolve and made him feel out of control in a way that he both loved and hated.

Sole turned to leave but stopped herself and instead faced Deacon once more, looking at the ground with a deep sigh.

“I’m just going to say it, okay?” she began, now looking up to meet his eyes before frowning. “Geez, Deeks, will you please take those sunglasses off so I can actually see you?”

Panic.

He needed his sunglasses. Otherwise Sole might find out just what a terrible bluffer he actually was.

“You know what? Never mind. This might actually be easier if I can’t see you.”

Her words were doing nothing to comfort him and he was desperately trying to quell the mild panic attack that was rising in his chest. “Sole, if I’m dying, you really need to just rip off the bandaid and tell me.”

He grinned at her, but they both knew it was a facade to mask his panic.

“I appreciate you telling me about Barbara. That took a lot of trust to open up to me about her.”

Well this wasn’t looking good.

“And I felt instantly connected to you because of it. We… we both knew what it was like to experience loss.” Sole frowned but pushed through it. “And honestly, after everything with Nate, I didn’t think I’d ever… feel anything for someone again.”

Deacon had to stop this conversation. He’d made her uncomfortable. And he hated himself for that.

“You don’t need to say anything else, Boss. I got it loud and clear,” Deacon said.

But Sole wasn’t letting him off the hook that easily.

“I don’t think you do,” Sole said. “I get that you flirt. It’s what you do. And it was always fine with me but… I can’t keep putting myself out there just to find out that this whole thing is a big joke to you. I’m not like that. It… it hurts too much.”

Deacon’s heart twisted inside of him. Had he misunderstood this situation completely? There was no way. Because as much as he’d dreamed about Sole reciprocating his feelings, he never thought it would actually happen.

Deacon had been a bigot back in his youth. Someone had died. He’d been a violent man. Sure he’d changed, but there was no way someone as good as Sole would be able to look completely past that. She may say his past wasn’t important, but she was just being polite. That’s who Sole was.

There was no way she could ever truly forgive him. He knew that. And he didn’t think he’d deserve that kind of forgiveness even if she did offer it.

“I respect you too much to break up our team, because we really do work well together… I just need the flirting to stop,” Sole said, looking down at her hands again as she twisted them together. “I want… I want you, Deacon. And it’s fine that I can’t have you. Really. I can learn to live with that. I’m a big girl. But… I’m not good at differentiating your joking with what’s real. I never have been. You know that.”

Deacon was staring at Sole now with the most shocked expression he’d ever worn.

She was saying that she had feelings for him. Wasn’t she?

Of course, he could just ask her for clarification, but that went against every instinct inside of him that was screaming at him to make a joke.

He realized a bit too late that he had been staring at her in silence for quite a while. She looked up at him uncomfortably with a wince. “So… are we good?” she asked. “Even though… you know… I just told you I have a crush on you like some five-year-old on the playground?”

There it was. The confirmation.

Deacon’s mouth might have actually dropped open in shock. He wasn’t sure.

“Okay, well… this has been sufficiently awkward. But I said what I needed to say. So…” she gave him a soft awkward slug on the shoulder. “Good talk, Sport.”

She instantly shook her head in embarrassment at her own words.

“Yeah, I’m going to leave now,” she mumbled, ducking her head down and turning to walk away.

“Wait, hold up just a minute,” Deacon said, finally regaining control of his brain. At least partially.

Sole turned around slowly and reluctantly.

“I swear if you make fun of me for this, Deeks, I will fill your pillowcase with cayenne pepper while you sleep.”

“Whoa,” he said, raising his hands up in surrender. “That escalated way faster than it probably should have.”

Deacon reached down and hesitantly took Sole’s hand in his own.

“I just… are you actually saying you have feelings for me?” Deacon asked.

Sole’s cheeks flushed at his straightforward words. Deacon was never straightforward. Except for the time he’d told Sole about Barbara.

“Seriously, Deacon? You’re going to make me say it again?”

“You feel things for me?” Deacon repeated, trying to rephrase his question so that there was no confusion. He wasn’t doing a great job. “Not like the way Danse has feelings for his power armor, right?”

“I mean, I’ve seen the way he looks at his power armor. So, maybe,” Sole said, that ghost of a smile returning to her lips. “Seriously, can I go now? I don’t know that I’ve ever felt this humiliated. This is worse than the dream where I show up to school naked.”

Deacon’s eyes grew wide behind his sunglasses at this statement. “Okay, well I’d definitely like to hear more about that in a minute,” Deacon began. “But I just… I feel like I need to be absolutely certain. You, the perfect, beautiful, compassionate, smart, brave, sexy, savior of The Commonwealth, have romantic feelings towards a former-bigot, current-man-child, broken, immature, and hopelessly lost human?”

Realization seemed to dawn on Sole in that moment. At his words she could see the insecurity dripping off of him, cleverly disguised by jokes and a devil-may-care attitude.

He felt the shift between them. Felt the way she squeezed his hand with confidence now, knowing that his flirting wasn’t a joke. That his casual contact wasn’t all that casual.

“Well… the jury’s still out on whether or not you’re a human or a synth,” she whispered with a grin. “I still haven’t tried your recall code on you.”

With that, Sole pressed her lips to Deacon’s. He hadn’t kissed Sole many times, so he didn’t have much to compare it to, but this kiss definitely felt different. Her hesitation was gone. Her lips were confident as they moved over his, and he smiled at her touch.

“Can we go back to that whole, dream business you were talking about a second ago?” Deacon asked, but Sole instantly silenced him with another kiss, which he was just fine with.

Her hands roamed slowly up his chest, as if she were taking her time to enjoy the moment. Goosebumps erupted all over his skin at her touch.

As she gently bit his bottom lip, something he definitely hadn’t expected from her, he couldn’t stop himself from being too aware of their surroundings. He wanted to melt into the kiss. He wanted to thoroughly enjoy this moment. There weren’t any more questions between them. They both understood each other finally.

But they were also in Railroad HQ. Anti-fraternization Zone Number 1. They may have been in the escape tunnel, but agents regularly used it as an overflow for the headquarters.

“Hey,” Deacon said, pulling away from Sole regretfully. Confusion lined her features. “So… I want this. You have absolutely no idea how much,” he began. “But… we’re not really in the best place for… grown up bonding time.”

Sole smiled up at him. “Doesn’t that sort of make it more exciting?” she asked.

What? Where had this Sole come from?

Not waiting for his response, she kissed him again, harder this time. He tried to exercise restraint.

He failed.

Instead, he pushed Sole up against the wall, parting her lips with his tongue and pressing his body against hers. Every fiber of his being burned to be even closer to her, but even with this bold new Sole that stood before him, he knew she wasn’t that type. She’d want to take things somewhat slow. And he was fine with that.

Besides, after years of being completely touch-starved, any contact was like a revelation for Deacon.

His hands found her waist, softly kneading the smooth skin there as his mouth moved against hers. She made a little noise that encouraged him further, prompting him to trail his kisses down to her collarbone instead.

She grabbed his hair in a slightly painful manner, but he didn’t mind. Instead, he focused on the very important work he was doing on her neck while her hands pulled him more firmly against her.

“Deeks,” she said breathlessly, though he hardly heard her. His lips were too preoccupied with just how perfect her neck seemed to be. How had he not noticed before? “Dea-con,” she said again, still just as breathless.

This time he heard her. And he loved the way his name sounded when she was the one saying it. The way her breath hitched at the end of the first syllable when he’d nipped at her neck. That desperate quality to her voice.

“Mmm?” he mumbled, now slowly moving his lips back towards hers.

“You…” but her words were cut off by another kiss. “Said we should be careful here?” she finally managed, between kisses. “About Des?”

This was more like the reserved Sole he knew. But he was enjoying himself too much. He was finally kissing her. Really kissing her. Not just for fun. Not as part of a ruse for a mission. Not in some psychotic funhouse where he wasn’t sure if she really wanted to or if it was just some weird trick of the drugs in Kiddie Kingdom.

Being able to touch someone after so long was like an oasis in a desert. And she saw him. Really saw him. That was normally the last thing he wanted from someone. But it was all he wanted with Sole.

“Screw it,” Sole said between another kiss before she wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him harder against her body, shuddering as they crashed together.

“I already told you, I left a backup in the escape tunnel,” Tinker Tom said from somewhere near the room’s entrance. “Now if y’all would give me two seconds, I could actually go get it.”

Sole instantly broke the kiss, looking wide-eyed at Deacon in a panic. He pressed a finger against her lips and grabbed her hand. Without a word, Deacon pulled her towards the exit at the far end of the room. It would lead them out into the cool night air of The Commonwealth.

As he held her hand and pulled her behind him, he couldn’t stop the embarrassing little smile that broke across his face. He heard Sole giggle behind him and it only added to the pure unadulterated joy that was beginning to permeate his very being.

She saw him. She saw all of him. And she still wanted him.

------

Note: This fic makes me seem like I don’t like Danse. I actually love him! I just like to make fun of him :)

Also, if you enjoy my writing, I’m an author IRL. I’ve got 13 published books, but my favorite is Parrish. You should check it out if you like ghosts and love stories between weirdos.

#fo4 #fallout #fallout 4 #fanfic #fallout fanfic #fallout 4 fanfic #deacon x sole #deacon x sole survivor #deacon fanfic #fallout deacon #fallout deacon fanfic

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peppersonironi · 4 years

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Batfam/Avengers Crossover Chapter One: Arrival

Yo, this has been on Ao3 for a while and people seem to really love it, So I thought I’d post it here! Chapter below the cut.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Category: Gen Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types Relationships: Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, Natasha Romanov & Damian Wayne, Clint Barton & Cassandra Cain, Tim Drake & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tim Drake & Duke Thomas, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, Dick Grayson/Wally West, Roy Harper/Koriand'r/Jason Todd, Characters: Bruce Wayne, Selina Kyle, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, Barbara Gordon, Justice League (DCU), Alfred Pennyworth, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Clint Barton, Thor (Marvel), Bruce Banner, Peter Parker, Alfred the Cat (DCU), Bat-Cow (DCU), Goliath (DCU), Selina Kyle's Cat Isis, Kate Kane (DCU), Duke Thomas, Additional Tags: Batbrothers (DCU), Avengers Meet The Batfam, MCU/Batfam crossover, Crossover, no beta we die like robins, rated T for Jason's language, I bleeped it out though. Just to be safe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, canon? What's canon?, Deaf Clint Barton,Deaf Character, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Happy Batfamily (DCU), Birdflash and joyfire are implied/referenced,

Summary:

The Avengers find themselves in an alternate universe where none of them exist. Instead, there is a different group of heroes: The Justice League. They decide to work together to get the Avengers home. But not not everything is instantaneous, so the Avengers need a place to stay. The only place available is Wayne Manor.

Que Batfamily shenanigans!

Multi-chapter fanfic, with some one shots that go along with the plot thrown in.

Notes:

This is my first time writing anything with the Avengers - especially a deaf!clint - and the Batfam, so I apologize if anything is doc. Constructive criticism is appreciated!

This is mainly comic DCU with Movie Avengers (Set after the first avengers movie, plus Spiderman, cause I can ;-)

Crack! Bang! There was a flash of blindingly bright light, followed by a huge explosion.

"Wha- where are we?"

Tony Stark looked over to Peter who had been the first to speak. Crap, the kid had come here too. But wherever here was, he did not know.

Tony, Steve, Hulk, Thor, Clint, Peter, and Natasha stood in a loose clump at the center of a smoking crater. The sky was cloudy and dark, and they appeared to be at least five miles outside of a big city, judging from the buildings in the distance. There was also a highway filled with streaming cars a couple of miles to Tony’s right.

“This isn’t right,” He muttered, opening his faceplate. Where were the sunny tropical trees that housed the compound of Anagnorisis - weird name, he knew - who was some D-list villain who thought some slightly advanced tech made them a world-conqueror. But Tony was beginning to think that those guns were a bit stranger and more advanced than he had previously believed.

“Tell me about it,” replied Steve. “Any idea where we are? Was it some sort of teleportation gun that was shot at us? This looks nothing like the Amazon.”

Before anyone could speak, Tony received a notification. Multiple incoming objects were approaching, fast . With the exception of the second fastest, they seemed to be airborne. “Multiple incomings, perhaps hostile. Most are flying. And they aren’t missiles. I think people ? But -”

“Who are you?”

Suddenly the first object arrived, and Stark was right. It was a black haired man in a blue skin tight suit with a red “S” on it and a flowing red cape. It would look ridiculous if he wasn’t glaring daggers at the group while flying .

He was joined almost immediately by another man, this time wearing an all red bodysuit with a lightning bolt on the chest and cowl. He was not flying though. He stopped in front of them swinging his arms as lightning dissipated. He had run there.

Next came a woman dressed in the colors of the american flag, with golden cuffs, tiara, and lasso by her side. She came with a man in a green, white, and black skin tight suit with some sort of symbol - perhaps a lantern? - on his chest. He also wore a green ring and black domino mask with white lenses on his face. They were both joined by another, a split second later. This was by far the strangest arrival. He was completely bald, with green skin and red eyes. He wore navy blue pants and cape, with only a red “X” over his chest. All three were floating.

“Who are you?” The blue and red man repeated.

Tony scoffed. Was this guy serious? “We’re the Avengers, obviously.”

The group shared a look. “Is that some new kind of villain group? I swear to all that is good and holy if I need to deal with another group who think they can rule the world, I. Will. Quit.” This time the man who spoke was the runner.

Steve replied, confusion clear on his face. “We’re not villains! We’re the Avengers; Earth’s mightiest heroes!”

Instead of coming to their senses, the strangely dressed newcomers laughed .

“You do realize you are speaking to members of the Justice League?” The woman spoke, her lips pursed.

“The who now?”

“Be quiet Kid, we don’t know what we’re dealing with.” Tony spoke to Peter. He was getting more worried by the second. Something was seriously wrong.

“Dealing with?” The green dressed man frowned, clearly suspicious of the Avengers. He started to fidget with his ring. “Well, since you don’t seem to know, let me enlighten you.” He gestured to each of his companions. “Superman, son of Krypton. Wonder Woman, Amazonian Princess. The Flash, fastest man alive. Martian Manhunter, well, a martian. And Me, Green Lantern. Member of the Green Lantern Core.”

Well, that explained everything. Not.

“We do not know you, strangers.” Thor spoke this time. “Perhaps you leave us be, our green friend over here gets frustrated easily.” He pointed to Hulk, who was breathing heavily.

The green man - martian, apparently - spoke for the first time. “Not until you tell us who you are and why you are in a smoking crater near His city.”

“His?” Clint clearly did not like the way the martian spoke of this character. To be honest, Stark didn’t either.

This got the most surprised reactions from the five. They looked at each other, and Tony could have sworn there was a hint of fear in their faces.

“Oh, He is so not going to like that.” Green Lantern said.

“Combined with the fact that we ditched Him.” The Flash cringed. Then looked worried again. “Yo, green grape, you okay.

The Hulk’s breathing was growing heavier, his face contorted into that of utter rage.

“Uh-oh,” Steve said.

“I . . . Not . . . GRAPE!” Hulk roared as he charged the The Flash who nimbly dodged. Superman went down to intercede, and just got punched by the Hulk. Though it did not seem to physically bother him, he was clearly angry.

Tony shut his face plate and moved forward, intending to stop the fight, but he only got attacked by the martian. Peter jumped forward to help, and soon everyone was fighting.

Thor was pitted against the Wonder Woman, and they seemed evenly matched. Black Widow was against The flash, and despite his incredible speed she seemed to be almost winning. Both Hawkeye and Captain America were battling Green Lantern.

No one seemed to have the upper hand, which worried Tony. These people were tough. If they couldn’t beat them . . . he didn’t know what would happen.

Peter didn’t seem to share his worry though. He instead seemed to be having fun. Tony could tell the kid was smiling beneath his mask, and his body language screamed hyper and happy. He seemed to get that way whenever they fought together, and a small part of Tony was filled with a sense of parental pride.

The fight seemed endless, no one gaining traction. Until something incredible happened. Thor threw Mjolnir directly at his opponent, and instead of being knocked down like everyone else, she caught the hammer. Every Avenger - even the Hulk - immediately froze, catching the attention of the newcomers.

“This is a very well crafted weapon, though a bit clunky,” Wonder Woman said as she tossed the hammer from one hand to the other. She paused, seeing their reactions.

“You are worthy.” Thor spoke with disbelief and a tint of resignation in his voice.

“Pardon?” Superman spoke, his frown apparent.

“Only those worthy can lift Mjolnir - my hammer. She clearly can, which means that you are trustworthy.”

*****

Five minutes of somewhat confused conversation later, they had reached an uneasy truce. Neither spoke much at first, but they soon began to compare notes. Apparently They both believed themselves to be the protectors of Earth, which brought on a bout of argument before Peter stepped in.

“Woah hold on, calm down. Something is clearly up, so there’s no need to argue!”

Wonder Woman looked contemplative. “How old are you boy, you seem young.”

Peter bristled. “I’m 15, and I’ve been a superhero for a while now, so I’m not inexperienced!”

Green Lantern laughed. “That’s not what she met, kid. We aren’t going to tell you how old you need to be to fight crime. The amount of we work with, and some even younger than you . . .” He shook his head and laughed. Then he realised how he had sounded. “I mean, we don’t force them, it's up to each individual to make that choice for themselves. Well, with the mentor’s approval of course.”

Natasha furrowed her brows. “How young are some of these kids?” Tony knew she had a thing against child soldiers, so he wasn’t surprised she was disapproving.

Green Lantern looks to the Flash. “How old is Robin at this point? 9?”

Flash laughed. “Naw, that little devil is 11. He was very adamant on that fact when he threatened me with his katana.” He shook his head.

Green Lantern laughed. “Yeah, most of the others are teenagers. Robin is the youngest, and I’d say most deadly, but Red Hood . . .”

“The Dark Knight really does have a problem,” Flash said.

His last comment made Green Lantern freeze. They both looked at each other then turned to Peter.

“Kid, stay away from The Dark Knight.” Green Lantern says.

“Yeah, if He sees you, there’s no way you’ll ever leave.”

“He’s the most dangerous man on earth,” Green Lantern adds.

“Guys, stop. You’re scaring him.” Superman looks disappointedly at the two heroes who Tony pegged as the trouble makers of the group. This idea was further cemented in Tony when they started laughing. Despite this, he decided to keep Peter as far away from this supposed Dark Knight as possible.

“Speak of the devil, he’s on his way.” Superman says this with a smile, then he cringes. “And we’re going to get an earful alright. Ten minutes ahead of him is a big deal apparently.”

In a moment. Tony got an alert that something was approaching. Fast. Soon he saw a large black military type armoured car fly down the highway from the city and off the road. It zoomed toward them.

It was a sight indeed to see the menacing black car swerve and expertly stop a few yards from the group. The top opened and a dark form shot straight up before landing in a kneeling position in front of them. The figure rose, and Tony got the first good look at him. He was a tall man with a broad chest and shoulders, dresses in complete black. There was a bat-like symbol on his chest, also in black. He wore a cape that flowed around menacingly. His face was covered by a cowl with pointed ears, like that of an owl, or perhaps a bat. The only part of his costume that was not black was the dark gold utility belt at his waist. Altogether, he was utterly frightening.

Tony took a step forward, effectively blocking Peter, who scoffed.

“Batman,” Superman said, a smile on his face.

Batman fixed the most impressive and terrifying glare upon the man that Stark had ever seen. “You broke protocol by going ahead of me. You are in my territory Superman. And you know that I cannot fly or run at the speed of sound.” He fixed his glare on the rest of his group who all reacted with either flinches or sheepish shrugs.

Batman grunted before looking at the Avengers. He sized each of them up, staying longest on Stark. Tony felt as if his entire being was being stripped away under the scrutiny.

“Alternate Dimension jumpers, not by choice I’m assuming.”

He spoke so simply that it took a minute for Tony to react. Even then, the man was already on his way back to his car.

“We’re near Gotham, let’s regroup at the Cave.”

Tony didn’t know what this Cave was, but he wasn’t sure he liked it. “Are you the Dark Knight?” He asked, before he lost his nerve.

The man looked immediately at the Flash and Green Lantern, who looked both scared and amused. Their sheepish smirks and chuckles dissipated when Batman looked away and back to Tony.

“The Dark Knight, The World’s Greatest Detective, The Caped Crusader, The Batman. All are titles I have earned. See you at the cave.”

And with that he hopped in his car and sped off back toward the gloomy city beyond.

#Avengers Meet The Batfam #MCU/Batfam crossover #Batfam/Avengers Crossover #batfam #avengers #bruce wayne #tony stark #steve rogers #clint barton #natasha romanoff #bruce banner #thor odinson #peter parker #justice league #batman

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stephaniebrownlove · 3 years

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Steph + Meeting the Superfam

My headcanons for Steph’s fascination with the Superfam inspired by this post.

I’ve also written a fanfic for when Steph met Jon, you can find it here.

When Steph was little she’d tie a blanket around her shoulders like a cape and run around her house. “I’m Superman! Look at me, I’m Superman!” she’s sing-song to herself, coming up with nonsense words to fit the melody she created. She’d pretend to save stuffed animals in mortal danger, whisking them off the Terrible Bed and into the Closet of Safety. She’d save the city of Living Room from all the Evil Chip Bags and Alien Soda Cans by attacking and throwing them into the Phantom Zone, otherwise known as the trash can.

When Steph was in middle school she was hanging out with some ‘friends’ at the mall. They weren’t doing anything in particular- drinking soda from fifty-cent refillable plastic cups from the gas station and poking their noses into shops that looked cool. In one shop there were posters, and Steph saw one of Superboy on clearance. She bought it and tacked it on her wall because well, he was hot, and she definitely had fantasies. It stayed up through many room renovations and she never stopped liking it, no matter how the boyfriends she brought home commented on it.

When Steph was in high school she became Spoiler and met Robin (definitely impressed and wow he’s cute) and Batman (definitely not impressed-ok kinda-and wow he’s grumpy). She never thought of herself as a real vigilante, but now she realized she was, and had contacts who had actually knew Superboy and Superman. She started imagining meeting them too, a private secret in the back of her head. Maybe one day it could happen. Maybe.

When Steph became Batgirl she thought she was going to die, trapped underwater in a fast-filling metal box. But she didn’t die, and that was because Supergirl saved her. They’re best friends now, but Steph will never tell her that she doesn’t actually remember their first meeting because her brain just short-circuited. She vaguely remembers a flying figure, the color blue, and really bright yellow hair. At some point they talked, but Steph has no idea what she said and she refuses to ask Kara. All she knows is it was the best near-death experience of her life.

When Steph and Kara went on a mission together and freaking Batman and Superman showed up, and Superman actually spoke to her, Steph played it cool. Inside, she was freaking out, and was it bad that she enjoyed knowing Superman and Kara would know? She didn’t think so. When Batman wasn’t looking, she got a picture with Superman. She keeps it saved and on her phone to look at at all times. Kara’s mildly amused by this. Steph doesn’t care, she still can’t believe it actually happened and when she checks her phone and sees the picture her heart jumps.

When Steph and Robin teamed up with Young Justice, she met Superboy face-to-face for the first time. He was the first super she didn’t hit it off with right away. It took a few interventions (with Tim moderating) before they figured out their relationship. Eventually, they fell into a rivalry-based friendship, but they also had each other’s backs when it mattered, and bonded over their mutual Robin. Steph has not and will not tell Kon she had his poster on her wall (or that it didn’t come down after she met him). She has many, many prank videos, internet trend videos, and random recordings of her, Kon, and Tim. Those will never be released to the public, but Barbara found them and occasionally watches them for her own amusement.

When Steph met Jon, she was at the most boring Wayne gala of all time. Jon and Damian were equally bored, and she kidnapped them both, taking them to her house for good food and the quality entertainment of Netflix. She fell hard for the scrawny kid and immediately decided she would be just as responsible for him as she was for Damian in the field. Steph hummed the theme to the Superman song she’d made up when she cooked for them that night, and though Damian doesn’t tell her, Jon sometimes hums the tune when they go out on missions together. Damian doesn’t know what it means, but he’s secretly glad Steph approves of his friend. Steph is fierce as all hell if any villain gives either of the boys so much as a scratch. When Dick was Batman he didn’t worry about them as much and could breathe a little easier when Steph was out in the field, watching over them.

When Steph met Lois, she was thrilled and intimidated. Lois was a supportive professional business woman who worked in a field Steph knew nothing about, but was definitely intrigued by. When Lois gave her her number, Steph felt honored and also nervous. What was she supposed to talk about with Lois? She didn’t have to worry, because Lois took the lead and started to mentor her. Lois was one of her references for getting into Gotham University’s nursing program and was amazingly supportive in Steph’s life outside of being a vigilante. Steph never had a female role model and when Lois stepped in, she filled in a part of her life Steph didn’t know she was missing. Sometimes, when she goes over to the Super house to talk with Lois, she sees Kara or Kon or Jon and they always make her feel welcome. It’s the first house she’s been to that feels like home.

#stephanie brown #Characterization #batgirl #spoiler #i love her

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totally-incorrect-theatre-quotes · 4 years

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I Feel Like I’m Drowning (Fanfic)

After much ado I have finally finished this story and it is...sad as heck. No lie I cried writing a few scenes of this and I’m a typically sad writer. This is a fanfic about the time between the events of the musical and the events of fannon where Lydia and BJ are chaotic siblings. How did he come back? How did they become friends again? How did Lydia cope with the trauma she endured during the events of the musical?

Is it angsty? Yes

Did I give it a happy-ish ending? I mean probably...

TW: Mentions of Suicide, Blood, Death, Panic Attack, Suicidal ideations, trauma.

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Two weeks. It had been two weeks since they had moved into the house, and while it had been a more than interesting experience, to say the least, it seemed like everyone was settling into the new environment. Adam and Barbara had been getting along well with Charles and Delia, though it had still only been a short amount of time Lydia was tempted to say that the four of them were friends, especially Barbara and her father who had a lot more in common than she had ever expected. The house started to feel more like a home as the days went by, but there was still something hanging over Lydia. Something keeping her awake at night and plaguing her dreams when she did manage to sleep.

She killed someone. She killed Beetlejuice. It was self-defense, of course. He was going to kill her father and probably her too but she had killed him. She stabbed him right through the chest and nobody has talked about it since. He was a demon she tried to remind herself, he wasn’t really alive in the first place but he was...she had brought him back to life and she had essentially killed a newborn. She can still hear the sound of the bone-crunching, it made her hands shake and her stomach tie up into knots. Lydia never knew she was capable of such a thing, even when she and BJ were scaring the people coming to their house it was just pranks, nobody died. She felt awful for that too, she still can’t make eye contact with the mailman or her neighbor. She wouldn’t even know how to begin how to apologize. “I’m so sorry I traumatized you because I was struggling to cope with my own mental health issues so I simply passed them onto another person.” That sounded ridiculous, everyone tells her that she’s just a kid and that she didn’t mean for what happened to have happened but it doesn’t change the fact that she did it. She was responsible for all of what happened, and nobody wanted to talk about it.

Her included. She had tried a couple of times to talk to her father or to Barbara about some of what went one, but she couldn’t bring herself to actually open up and tell them what it’s been doing to her. She would stay in her room, for the most part, it didn’t arouse suspicion, she often spent time in her room even before her mother died. She was an introverted person, she got more pleasure from being alone that she did in crowds. It overwhelmed her, but now the solitude was becoming suffocating, and she felt so so alone. She woke up one night from another one of her nightmares, her entire body trembling as she ran into the bathroom to scrub her hands clean of the non-existent blood, no matter how hard she scrubbed she just couldn’t feel clean. Her hands were red and raw from the soap and she slumped down on the tile floor, pulling her knees tight into herself just trying to make all the memories stop. They haunted her days and ruined her nights. She wanted to just be okay, she just wanted to be normal but she had screwed that all up.

“I’m a murderer,” she whispered to herself, saying the words out loud made it ten times worse and she felt panic rising into her chest. She wanted to shrink into herself and disappear but she couldn’t. She couldn’t run away from the consequences of her actions. She couldn’t even say she was fucking sorry because he was in the Netherworld now on a vision quest to go find his father. Summoning him would be selfish, he was probably happy now, finally glad to have some freedom...glad to be rid of her the pathetic sad kid that he was so easily able to trick and manipulate just because she missed her mommy. God her mother, she wondered what her mother would think about all that she has done now. She must be so ashamed of the monster that her daughter has become. She did all of this because she missed her but her mother would hate everything she had done, her mother would hate her.

Lydia shifted, tucking her knees tighter into her chest and fell onto the floor, hot tears running down her cheeks and landing on the floor as she cried. She covered her mouth with her hands, stifling the sobs and screams. She didn’t want to wake anybody because she knew they would just try to tell her it wasn’t her fault, they would tell her it was fine when it wasn’t. She didn’t deserve their pity, she didn’t deserve their comfort. She deserved exactly what she was getting, but she didn’t know it would hurt this bad. She wanted it to stop, she wanted so badly for the pain to stop. She slowly got up from the floor and pulled herself up on the counter, opening the medicine cabinet and holding a bottle of pills in her hands. It had been two weeks since she had been on the roof when Beetlejuice stopped her. There was nobody to stop her now, she could just open the bottle and swallow them all. She didn’t even know what the pills were but she imagined that a bottle full of anything would probably do the job. It would all be over, all the hurt would be over. Just like Juno said she could just fade into the soothing nothingness of the Netherworld.

She clutched the bottle so tight in her hands that her knuckles were starting to turn white, her face red and tear-streaked in the mirror. Taking in a shaky breath she tossed the bottle in the garbage, she couldn’t do it. She didn’t want to leave everyone, especially not her dad who had already lost so much and was coming so far trying to be a better father to her. She didn’t want to leave them, not just for them but because she loved them. She sat back down on the floor, the weight of her break down taking a toll on her as she became exhausted. She was so tired all the time. A mixture of the lack of sleep, the energy it took pretending to be okay, and the weight of all the guilt, all the sadness, all the grief.

“Beetlejuice.”

She didn’t even know if it would work. She didn’t know if her doing this would even summon him anymore.

“Beetlejuice.”

Even if it did work he probably wanted nothing to do with her. She wouldn’t blame him, she wasn’t want to deal with herself either. She was a fucking mess, nobody should have to deal with this. She didn’t know what she was even bothering, she shouldn’t be bothering him he deserved his shot at happiness. Just because she ruined her own doesn’t mean she should do it to him. That just proved to herself more that she was a selfish monster.

“Beetlejuice.”

There he was. She couldn’t believe her eyes at first when he appeared but there he was standing in her bathroom. He didn’t even look confused he simply fixed his hair in the mirror while he casually said, “I was wondering what was taking you so long, kid.”

“W-what?” she hiccuped

“You sure took your time summoning me back,” he glanced down at her and his tone changed instantly, “What’s the matter with you? You okay scarecrow?”

She couldn’t help but give a small smile at the silly nickname he had given her. She lept up from the floor and threw herself into a hug with the demon, “You’re not mad I called you here?”

“Mad?” he questioned, still not sure why Lydia was hugging him. Even when they were friends she didn’t hug him except when she was tricking him in the marriage. He had to admit he admired how clever she was, but something about the way she was holding onto him now made him think this was different than before. She was desperate. She was alone. And she called him. Not Chuck. Not Babs or Sexy. She didn’t even go to Delia. Whatever was wrong this was something either very bad or something she wanted to keep a secret, “Why would I be mad that you called?”

She sniffled in his coat, he ignored the fact that she was getting snot and tears all over his coat, though granted with all the other stains he wouldn’t really be able to tell. She croaked out a weak explanation, “Because you were looking for your dad, and I brought you away from that/”

“Oh my god that was for dramatic effect kid, my dad left when I was a baby I don’t give two shits where he is. What I do give two shits about is why the hell are you sitting alone in the bathroom looking all sad and pitiful after I cleaned up everything so nicely for you? I got rid of my mom, I fixed your whole fucked up family situation. So why am I here.” he looked around the room for any kind of clue. He saw something orange in the garbage can and released himself from Lydia’s grip, grabbing the bottle and shaking it. Sleeping pills. Looking at the script it wasn’t expired so there should be no reason it was thrown away other than... “What did you do?”

“Nothing. Nothing, I didn’t. I didn’t actually do it. I thought about it, but I couldn’t do it.” she turned her face away like she was ashamed of herself, but she stuck her chin up and cleared away the tears in her eyes, “I didn’t want to do it.”

He didn’t know what to say. He had no clue how to handle someone in a fragile emotional state as hers. He was never good at the whole emotional thing, he had stopped her once before but that was because he was being a dick and only wanted to use her to get what he wanted Now they...he saw her as a friend, like the little sister he never had. He asked the only question that he knew, “Why?”

“I can’t take it anymore.” She sunk back down on the floor and burrowed her head into her knees, unable to even make eye contact with him anymore, “I’m a monster and I didn’t think I deserved to keep going on after everything I’ve done. I hurt people! I traumatized people, that poor little girl scout, god I probably ruined her life. I almost exorcised Barbara, I caused so much damage and-and-and I FUCKING KILLED YOU.”

Beetlejuice stopped. He had been listening attentively until she mentioned him, “Kid-”

“I fucking killed you! How can you just be standing here and not screaming at me or hurting me. Don’t you want revenge?’

“Is that really what you think of me?” he asked, hurt by her words, “Kid why the hell do you think I saved you and your family? My mom was going to drag you back to the Netherworld and that would have been the end of it, you would have been dead. Now here we are, you were about to just do it for her and you only wanted to because you thought I was going to hurt you? Really Lydia..you really think I don’t give a fuck about you? Look I did some fucked up shit but I have never wanted to do anything that would hurt you.”

“Why! Why do you care about me? I killed you!”

“Not gonna lie, that did kinda suck but I’m not meant to be alive Lyds, I’m meant to be dead. Think of it as you doing me a favor life is a goddamn roller coaster and I was not at all prepared for any of it. It is a good thing you stopped me, I was so out of control I could have killed you all. Lydia, you did what you had to do. It’s better this way.”

She was silent, not moving or even looking up at him. He sighed and sat down on the floor with her, she eventually roused a little and rested her head on his shoulder. They sat in silence for a while, her breathing slowing down and a little color returning to her unnaturally pale face, a little life returning to her eyes and she glanced in disgust at the pill bottle now thrown in a corner of the floor. Beetlejuice didn’t move, he didn’t make any crappy jokes or poke fun at how emotional she was being, he just let her sit there on the floor as she attempted to regain her composure. While his words had been a slight comfort she still couldn’t shake the feelings brewing in her stomach. She thought she was going to be sick, but she hadn’t been able to properly eat anything almost all day her stomach had been so upset. She huffed out a shaky breath and looked up at the demon in her house. He looked just like he always had, his hair an unusual white color but tinted purple at the ends.

“I still hear it..and see it. I feel like I’m drowning and I’m constantly fighting back the waves. It’s so exhausting fighting all the time. I killed you” She whispered, “You were alive and I took a-aa... and I killed you. How are you sitting here with me right now? I murdered you!”

“It was you or me Lydia.” he reminded her, “And it is honestly better for everyone that it was me. I have a way back, you didn’t. You would have been gone, stuck in the Netherworld forever and you would have no way back. Lydia, you’re just a kid, I couldn’t handle it if I had killed you hell if I had killed any of the assholes in this house. I have no clue why I wanted to be a human so bad, I wouldn’t have any of my cool powers like I do as a demon. Like this-” He waved his hand and two more of him showed up, leaning casually on the door, one making a very silly face earning a weak laugh from Lydia, “I really only wanted to be alive again so that I wasn’t invisible anymore. I wanted so badly for someone to see me, for someone to actually be there and want me there. When you wanted to find your mom I felt like you were abandoning me.”

Lydia bowed her head again, remembering the broken-hearted look on his face when she ran up the stairs so determined that what she was doing was the right thing even though everything she had been doing was so very wrong, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, really kiddo. I’m used to it by now. People only deal with me when they want something and when I stop being that, they’re onto the next thing. Don’t give yourself any credit for originality, you weren’t the first and you definitely won’t be the last. People don’t want me.”

She felt tears running down her face again as memories of how they bonded over their shared invisibility surfaced to her memory. She acted out because she wanted to be seen, she wanted to feel like she belonged in her own family again, and she was so caught it up looking out for herself that she didn’t consider anyone else, but she wasn’t alone in that either. She knew Beetlejuice was the same way. Neither of their actions were justified, they both made mistakes. They both hurt people, including each other, but maybe...maybe they would help each other now. Maybe they could help each other be better. She took his hand in hers, it was so much larger than hers was that his almost swallowed hers when he closed his grasp. She looked up at him with her tear-filled eyes, “I want you here.”

“Kid no offense but you don’t want me here. You wanted me to make you feel better and I hope I did, one of us should be happy.”

“I missed you.”

He stared at her, like a deer in headlights, unsure of his next move. He looked down at this kid...god she really was just a kid. She was so small and young, and vulnerable just like he had been and he fucked her up. He did some real damage to her and she said that she missed him? He couldn’t deny that he missed her too, they had some fun during those two days her dad was gone. She was a funny kid, and it did his cold-dead heart some good when he actually saw her laugh and smile. He thought he was helping, but looking at her now he couldn’t help but to feel responsible for how broken she had become. She was driving herself insane blaming herself for his death, she had bags under her eyes and he believed her about the nightmares it looked like she hadn’t slept since he left. He hadn’t wanted to leave but he thought it would be for the best if when he did come back it was on their terms. When she summoned him he didn’t even care why he was just excited to see his friend again but now he wanted to run away, leave before he made things any worse for her than they already were. Chuck would get her a good therapist and she could have a happy life, and all of this..all of him would just be a distant memory.

He must not have said anything for a while because now Lydia was looking at him with her big sad brown eyes, just waiting for a response, “Beetlejuice..can I ask you something?”

“Sure bud.”

“You can be honest with me, I completely understand all things considered but.” She twisted her fingers in her hands, “Did you miss me?”

“Yeah,” he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and hugged her gently, “Yeah I did.”

“I want you to stay. I want you here, I think we could be good.”

“Good?”

She nodded, “I think we could be good for each other. I want to be good again, I want my mom to be proud of me again.”

He bit back a comment about how her mother was dead and had no clue about what Lydia was doing never the less Lydia’s morality, he figured that wasn’t what she needed to hear right now instead he rolled his eyes playfully trying to ease some of the tension, “You’ve always been good Lydia. I tricked you into doing some shitty stuff. You would have never had to do any of that shit if I hadn’t forced you to. Lydia, it was my fault, trust me I never take responsibility for my actions, that’s how I roll but this? This was all me, you need to stop beating yourself up over it. I was being a real asshole and I fucked up a perfectly good goth kid because I was lonely.”

“I’m lonely.” she admitted to him, “Maybe we can be alone together. Friends?”

He chuckled, ruffling her short black hair, “BFFFFs forever. Now you just have to convince everyone else to let you have a demon roaming around.”

She punched his arm jokingly with a genuine smile on her face, “I’m sure they’ll all come around.”

It was that awkward time of the night where it was both late and early. Too early to be awake for the day, but too late for her to go to bed without sleeping until an ungodly hour. She and BJ went down to the living room and watched movies together until she eventually fell asleep on the couch, her light snoring distracting him from the cinematic masterpiece that was Ratatouille. When the movie ended and he was sure she was asleep he floated out of the living room and went back to the bathroom, he picked the pill bottle up off of the floor and put it back in the medicine cabinet. He picked up the scattered bathroom items that she must have been throwing before she summoned him, making it look like nothing at all had happened. He thought about running away, she was asleep. She wouldn’t notice until the morning but something kept him from leaving, it wasn’t that his abilities were weakened but something inside him was keeping him here. He just kept hearing her repeating in his head that she wanted him to stay.

He was wanted.

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achieveandhunt · 4 years

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live typing extra life 2019

warning: this a fucking LONG post. if you plan on reading it all, godspeed.

i typed all of this as it was happening on stream so this gets progressively less coherent as i grow more sleep deprived. prepare yourselves. i may or may not go off topic at some points

larry vehemently vomiting pure malic acid. we’re off to a great start

what the fuck the soggy ass popcorn in that ranch jesus christ

lindsay in the song from AH the musical. i love her so much

jeremy going YAAAAAAY after someone eats a cursed oreo

matt getting AGGRESSIVELY kissed by larry

“this kiss this kiss” before geoff and jack kiss

geoff “i’m from alabama” ramsey

THIS FUCKING RANCH SEGMENT HAS ME GAGGING

jeremy “the alcohol demon the whiskey goblin” dooley

alfredo “you wont believe what the white people did today” diaz

DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS GET THAT DICK ESSENCE

wait why does it sound like wonderwall

they look like characters from the matrix

the speaking parts. make my teeth hurt

in conclusion: they weren’t kidding abt the tight pants

okay everyone get ready for eric soundboard spamming YEAH BABEY

“hi i’m from broadcast and i don’t want to be here” they represent themselves well

also, let’s take a second to appreciate broadcast here!! they have a really tough job and don’t get a ton of credit. lots of love to all of broadcast!!! you guys are awesome

i am: foreseeing problems with this eric sound board

which one is eric?? will the real eric please stand up?? was the real eric the one we found along the way??

“i’m... just really worried that i won’t ever find love-” “i really don’t care”

WHY DO THEY HAVE THAT ON THE SOUNDBOARD (what does that apply to? whatever it is you’re thinking of, but mostly “daddy wants some”)

ooh someone’s about to get a fReE tongue piercing from a pineapple

god dammit i went to the bathroom for thirty seconds and now they’re eating chad’s chest hair

owie the shock collar and belly slap look painful, but drinking natty light from a shoe? that’s a true punishment

“and this roast was brought to you by meundies”

ah yes what better way is there to end a segment than people throwing up

“man action” oh no

THROBERT MULVEINY

K A R B is blind in T W O of her eyes

“my last name is cottagecheese”

I HAVE A PIECE OF METAL SHOVED UP MY A S S

chris has somehow managed to lose 23 years of age and roughly 412 pounds

“just open throat like baby bird” who the fuck is writing this and why is it jeremy

jon. jon you’re breathing in adam’s ass fumes

a summary of this segment: ass and cottage cheese

BARB IS HERE I REPEAT BARB IS HERE

“to fitness” -starts choking-

final fitness coach: tad, here to workout your issues so they can beat you into submission

“will you buy my wet” well i don’t see that on the raffle items

we’re back folks & i’m loving this walk around segment

moonball wall and gavin&michael will soon be reunited can we get an F in the chat

jeremy getting a borderlands tattoo is very on brand

what’s extra life without a little satan

“starvation army, putting lead back into paint, increasing childhood obesity” people in chat: TAKE MY MONEY

chris “i’m doing a different hole” demarais

ah yes. the game we all play in hell: twister

nobody edit chris getting mustard shot down his throat. i’m scarred enough from the original clip

oh fuck. oh god. the mayo. oh god what the fuck is up with the misuse of condiments this year

this just in: a human soul costs roughly $12,700

D̷̯͑̆̈́͝Õ̸̲͎̥̬͈̬̙͕̲G̸̢̧̠͉͚̙̲̙̓̔̀̇S̷̥̀́͆̈́̇̀ ̶̣̞̗͚̬̭̖̦͇̈́̎̈́̿̓̈́͆̒̋D̷̙̟̩̫͉̺̐̊̚Ö̶̥́̋́̓ͅĜ̵̞̌͋̏̉̌̕͝͝S̵̤̹̣̫̮̻͛̍̑̕͝͝ ̷̧̨̞̙̥̟̜͍̉̍̑̏̇̀̾D̴̻̮̩̯͓͉̖͎̘͐̒͋̓̉͝ͅỎ̶̰͓̳̥͑̅͛͊̒͐͊͘̚G̵̩̻̦̥̠̃̔Ş̶̹͚̩̱͖̀͆͘ ̸̢̢͇̻͔̗̺̼͖̱̏̾̔̚D̴̨̨̫̙̃̾̋̾̆̓̓Ớ̷̡͓͎͊G̶̱̣̣̰̝̖̰̗̓͐̐̊͋̀͊̀̕͝Ş̷̩̺̬̖͙̺̟͗̈́͒͗̀̑́́̕͠ ̷̡͈̼̲͈̳̫̺̝̈́̋͌͗̒ͅD̸̨̬̞̪̗̘̄̑͆̿̈́͘͠͝O̸̡̡͇͕̻͎͍͉̅̌͗̄͌̑̉̔͂̎Ḡ̸͙̟̪̞̬̬͕͐̈̏S̶̝̪̼̮̠̜̭̳͖̘̑

urine: to help with aerodynamics

jon: maya, speak! maya: *the smallest arwoo*

today’s mvp: any dog. pick one. no matter which you pick, you’re right

how the fuck did blaine change back from satan so quickly

barb as a cat is... my new sleep paralysis demon

blaine: barbara speak! barbara: climate change is real

#dogsforkids

this just in: extra life killed my wifi

we’re back & kdin is in the business of killing people with spice. she is the spice queen

queue six thousand well-timed 1337 donations

HOLY SHIT THAT’S COLIN FROM WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY

hmm “questionable liquids” is very... questionable

trevor: oh there’s four of them! we all get to join in the Fuckkkk

“what’s your favorite kind of candy” “any meat”

i like pickles and i would rather rip my eyebrows off than drink the juice so i feel for trevor

the only thing worse than drinking apple cider vinegar is shooting it out of your nose

“can you feel the love tonight” “i used to and that’s the problem”

“flubs every word man” damn, really missed the chance to say captain hair

jeremy not being able to intentionally flub his words is so fucking funny

OK BOOMER

wow i can feel my blood pressure spike just watching these shots

Xavier Woods is here and he wants to know if it’s Christmas

miles doesn’t know what a question is

WHERE’S YOUR HAIR

oh no. oh no helping hands is next. everyone clear a splash zone

CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE

miles bossing around chef mike is priceless

“you leave that fucking dough on the floor”

“you wanna slam your hands down on the table” *pizza sauce goes flying everywhere*

HOEDOWN HOEDOWN HOEDOWN jesus why do i keep doing that

“If Colin Mochrie is listening, I’ll see you here next year” OH FUCK YEAH

--- this is when i take a break so my soul can return to my body (aka i have work to turn in. college will never not be a pain in my ass) ---

oh god dammit i missed all of Always Open. fuck college who needs a medical degree

so... we have some very interesting things happening in family feud and i’m not sure if i like any of them

hmm. is now the time to get drunk

oily twist feels very... ominous

what do you mean you don’t remember gandalf having a taser in lord of the rings?

someone in the chat said “big stupid sleeping thing is what my parents called me in high school”

i think i’m blacking out what’s going on i don’t remember the past two hours

ah yes. voldemort and snape having a talk show together sounds exactly like something J.K. Rowling would make a spinoff book or show or porno of

can we just talk about how much shit chris has been doing this year? what a guy. what a dude

“coldy with voldy” actually means getting knocked the fuck out cold because you only got three hours of sleep last night and you don’t want to miss chef mike and lindsay cooking

this snape poem is summarized by one phrase: “that was terrible sit the fuck down” (sorry chris)

“let’s destroy a weasley” enter chad

fucking called it

“you smell poor” i need a caffeine drip

heh the wheel spins are at 69 heh nice

i’m a grown ass woman

welcome to a section called: we torture chad for your entertainment

“who wants us to kill weasley?” *massive cheers from the audience*

“wait weasley step away from the wideshot so i can masturbate to this later”

“i’m not gonna rub my eye mom”

oh they’re really gonna kill chad on stream huh

i felt that chest slap in my soul

i think i felt my own ribs crack

oh fucking

tumblr deleted my thoughts on the fanfic section

alright. fine. brief summary: my teeth are burning

my mom lindsay is on next and i’m so excited but i’m nearing the point of loopiness so things will go downhill dramatically from here

this is my fucking fourth extra life, you would think i’d be smart enough to sleep the night before

LINDSAY LINDSAY LINDSAY THAT’S MY MOM

JEREMY JEREMY JERE- wait a second... did jeremy get taller

oH CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE

i hope Xavier comes back next year because he’s funny as fuck

m y a t t

oh god the mcdonald’s shade i’m rolling

lindsay “who’s the chef here” jones

chef mike mentioned mayo and i involuntarily gagged

chef mike clowning the big mac. i’m crying

he made the right choice with ryan bc i’ve seen his cooking stream(s) and it’s nothing if not great content

i heARD A MICHAEL JONES

“lindsay you haven’t done anything but warm up cookies so far” “yeah and?? you’re welcome”

you know that classic snack. slightly warm oreos

JEREMY THE LIQUOR GOBLIN DOOLEY IS BACK

oh god him screeching across set is making me cry laughing

why does it remind me of trevor’s voice cracks in the one minecraft ep where they’re singing the lion king

the biggest spoon for the smallest shot glass

i just realized we’re not even halfway through yet and i’m scared for the length of this list i’m gonna end up falling asleep involuntarily at some point

lindsay no your teeth are going to errode from that shot in your mouth

well timed leet donation #1829495

this gorden ramsey bit is so fucking good

jack: what do you think of the arugala? matt: i don’t even know what you said

iT’s NoT jUsT tWo CoOkIeS miCHeAL

jeremy and michael just chillin amidst the choas is exactly my demeanor at any party i’ve ever been to

lindsay scores: ryan = 7 because diet coke, matt = still eating lindsay’s meal so it’s a 10, xavier = also still eating it so it’s an 8. total: 25

“deep fry everything but a remote control”

chef mike scores: ryan = 9 for no death, matt = greens are present, words were said, score is 8. xavier = Gourmet Mcdonald’s, food is edible, score is 8. total: 25

oh fuck it’s a tie

now they fight to the death. death = doing as many shots as possible

i think we’re all going to need liver transplants after tonight

no jesus please don’t vomit oh goD oh fUc k please- oh thank god

okay i’m making a part two this is too much

#extra life 2019 #i’m going for full 24 hours this year #rooster teeth #achievement hunter #jeremy dooley #michael jones #lindsay jones #jack pattillo #geoff ramsey #gavin free #ryan haywood #matt bragg #alfredo diaz #trevor collins #fiona nova #i regret everything in my life that has led to this moment

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dibs4ever · 4 years

Text

‘The Batman’ DickBabs fanfic

*warning* Slightly smutty

“I can’t believe you were so stupid! You could have gotten yourself killed!” 24 year old Barbara shouted at Dick who had just followed her into her apartment window.

19 year old Dick rolled his eyes “I followed you in here to make sure you were okay, not to be barked at. And if I hadn’t stepped in YOU could have been killed!”He waved his hands. They were both still dressed in their respective vigilante suits. He in his Nightwing suit. Her in her Batgirl one.

“Dick, you should know by now I can handle myself. Heck I’ve been doing it longer than you have.” She reminded

Dick stepped closer to her “Well Bruce ACCEPTED me, before he accepted you.” He barked back

She narrowed her eyes at him, he was right . But at the same time she was reminded of how Dick was part of the reason she was completely accepted by Bruce.

“I’m sorry I-I didn’t mean that. “ Dick scratched the back of his neck. “I just I—don’t know what I’d do if——-“ he was cut off by Barbara pouncing at him kissing his lips.

This was their second kiss, the first happening a few days after he had returned a few weeks ago. But this time it was heated . She was tugging on his neck, begging for him to come closer. So he picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist. Then their suits were coming off. After he was carrying her to his room, waiting for the word “Stop”. He promised himself as soon as he heard the word he would pull away from her. No matter how far they got. Even if he had been fantasizing about this since he was 14.

“Babs are you sure—“ he began to muster. She was on her back on the bed, he was hovering over her.

“Stop being a Boy Wonder and keep going Dick.” She bit his lip. He let out a groan

Dick nodded, pecking her lips “I love-“

He was once again cut off when Barbara flipped them so she was ontop “Uh ugh none of that , we are not talking through it this time. “

He smirked as she was kissing down his abdomen, her hands firmly on his shoulders “This time? “

She moved back up to his face “I said shut up!” The older woman demanded

Dick was surprised how much this dominance turned him on “Yes ma’am “ he croaked

——————————

Barbara Gordon sighed waiting for Dick to come back from the bathroom. When he did she couldn’t help but admire his naked body. He definitely wasn’t built like your average 19 year old that was for sure. His body was so mature, lean, muscular, sexy and decorated with multiple scars that he had obtained over the years. Most of which she was there for. Some of which were new to her, having received them over the 3 years that he was away with the Titans. She supposed his ex girlfriend patched up those wounds.

Why he and Kori broke up she didn’t know, but she figured he’d tell her if he wanted.

Dick was grinning from ear to ear as he crawled back into her bed.

She was glad to have him back again, she missed him a lot. But so much had happened between the years he was gone . She had grown, he had taken up a new vigilant name and they had gotten and lost a new Robin at the hands of the Joker.

Dick....God he was just a kid when she met him. So was she but not as much as he was. 11 and 16 seemed like such a big age difference back then...now not so much.

“Dick” she sighed

She felt the mattress shift as he tuned to her “Yeah?” He sighed breathlessly

She took a breath “What did we just do”

Dick chuckled lightly , she could him feel his breath brushing against her bare shoulders “I think we just had sex”

Barbara rolled her eyes, turning to face him “Obviously I know that. But did we make a mistake? I mean Dick you’re 19....I’m 24. I’ve known you since you were an annoying, video game playing, chandelier swinging, immature 11 year old boy”

Dick narrowed his eyes “Incase you forgot I’m not 11 anymore Babs.”

She smiled at the nickname

“Remember when you used to hate that Nickname?” He pressed their foreheads together

Barbara nodded “That’s what worries me, we have such a history.”

His hand was on her waist “Which is why my age shouldn’t matter.”

Barbara shook her head placing a hand on his chest and pushing him back slightly “The age isn’t it Dick. It’s just....it’s you. And if I’m being honest I’ve tried to fight this for years! Tried telling myself I saw you as a brother. But I didn’t and I couldn’t convince myself I did, especially since with each passing year you began looking less like an annoying twerp and more like a freaking Greek God.”

Dick laughed at that “Mmph I like that compliment” he leaned forward and began kissing her neck

Barbara brought her hand to his head, enjoying the feeling but not completely Knowing what she wanted “Dick...”

He pulled back “Yeah?”

She shook her head “Did we make a mistake?”

He bit his lip “Do you think we made a mistake?” The question made him nervous and he hoped she’d say no

“No...maybe...I don’t know. I feel like to outsiders....who know how long I’ve known you, they’d say this is wrong. But to me...I mean who am I ever going to date or meet who gets me like you do? Who is going to respect me, appreciate me and understand me like you do?”

He looked at her sympathetically “So you wanted to do this? Cause it all happened kinda quick. First we were fighting, then we were making out, then we were in your room and naked....didn’t really do much discussing “

She laughed lightly “Of course I wanted to do this Grayson. I’m just scared about this changing us. About loosing you” she ran a finger along his bottom lip

He kissed the tip of her finger “You could never loose me Babs”

She took a breath “When did you first start liking me?”

He smiled “Remember when you got effected by Jokers laughing gas? “

Barbara furrowed her eyebrows “Dick you were 14.”

He nodded “Yeah well....that’s when. Joker had you under control stealing stuff. Not only was I worried about you, I also found that laugh adorable. “

She smiled “I realized I loved you when you were 14...not in love but love, when we took on Black Mask at the GCPD and I shut the security door. I thought you were stuck behind there.”

He smiled kissing her shoulder “When did you figure out you were in love with me?”

She felt his lips creeping up her neck “When you called and said you were coming home last month.”

He smiled “Couldn’t resist the new suit huh”

She laughed rolling so she was ontop of him she pecked his lips, feeling his hands trace her back “If Bruce knew about this he’d kill us”

He shook his head “I haven’t listened to Bruce’s orders since I was 16 , we’re happy that’s all that matters. Screw Bruce. Besides he left Batgirl and Robin alone enough over the years. This shouldn’t be surprising.”

She sighed

“Worried he’ll make us wax the Batmobile?” He said with a teasing grin

Barbara smiled rolling her eyes “Shut up”

“Make Me” Dick grinned

Barbara smiled “Oh I will “

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thegreenfairy13 · 5 years

Text

Dog Sitter - Part 3 Hand Over The Dog Then

A Gobblepot fanfic. When Oswald loses his dog Ed, Jim Gordon finds it and does an excellent job when it comes to taking care of the mobster’s furry friend. Read it on Ao3 here.

Five days have passed since Oswald’s unfortunate run-in with Jim and he honestly doesn’t expect to hear from the foul-tempered Captain anytime soon. Not after exchanging their latest unpleasantries that is. But here goes Gordon and surprises the gangster. Quite thoroughly.

Oswald spent the last five minutes staring at the inconspicuous box lying on his desk disbelievingly. He’s completely paralyzed. This can’t be happening, but yet it does: Jim Gordon has sent him a present. Well, not him personally but rather Edward.

The point still stands. After years of resentment, anger, rage, vengeance and playing all kinds of games, Jim Gordon has decided to something nice for the very first time. It’s the closest Oswald will ever come to receiving an apology from the impossible man.

The gangster treads carefully through the contents of the parcel: three dog-collars made of surprisingly soft leather, two more coats for Ed, two dog bowls, another doggie basket, and countless toys. Oswald can’t even fathom when and how the busy man had found the time to buy that insane amount of dog accessories. Did Jim just walk into the first store and grabbed anything and everything that struck his fancy?

Picking up one coat, he slides it over Ed’s head, and lo and behold, it fits perfectly. So Jim indeed put some care into his selection. Also, contrary to any prejudice he holds against the cop, all of these items are of immaculate quality. Of course, they aren’t as luxurious as Ed’s usual collection but they are no cheap crap either.

Zsasz saunters into the room and stares at the parcel with blunt curiosity. “Seems like the Captain went slightly overboard,” he states as his long, leather-clad fingers descend into the box. “Wow, is that a velvet frock ?” he asks while digging through the contents, eyes widening at the sight of a little black jacket complete with coattails.

“I’d prefer you wouldn’t go through my personal belongings,” the Penguin snaps, yanking the item impatiently from his minion’s hands.

“Technically, these aren’t yours,” the assassin points out, still itching to get a better look at the coat but knowing better than to test his employer's patience.

“Edward owns these, I own Edward,” Oswald retorts with a little huff while shoving the parcel underneath his desk.

“Well, that’s just the law and I can’t remember we ever cared much about that,” Victor decides, slurping his milk-shake loudly. “I very much assume dogs are able to own things,” Victor carries on, unfazed. “Don’t you think?” he asks. Raising his cup, he takes another sip while studying the mob-boss expectantly.

The Penguin only responds with an annoyed glare. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he tries to remember why exactly it’s not an excellent idea to poison those god-awful milkshakes. Besides, he has no idea how he ended up discussing whether dogs are able to own things or not with his hitman. Oswald needs to change the topic.

Getting up from his seat, he pulls a face while tapping his cane impatiently on the floor. “Did you find me another caretaker for Edward yet?” he demands to know, aiming for his usual, imperious nature.

His change in demeanor has the desired effect as Zsasz returns to his professional self. Clearing his throat, he shakes his head. “None of the applicants meet your expectations. Honestly, I’m not even sure first-aid-courses specifically for Bulldogs are even available.”

When the kingpin doesn’t answer, the assassin sighs in exasperation. “Why do you even need a dog-sitter?” he demands to know, earning himself another scowl.

After all, Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot didn’t rise to become a king to justify himself. It’s certainly none of his minion’s business why he can’t care for his puppy 24/7. He has other obligations too, and some of those need to stay a well-kept secret.

Like Martin. Martin, his little boy, his son, the light of his life.

None of his subordinates must ever know where his kid is being kept. Oswald went great lengths to ensure his child’s safety. And that includes absolutely nobody being able to guess his whereabouts.

The kid is currently visiting a private school in Connecticut where no one has a clue who and what his father truly is. To those people, he’s nothing but a wealthy businessman like so many others. Just another irresponsible parent who only visits their kid on the weekends.

Oswald never imagined being a father. And even if, he would have never guessed he’d be the kind of parent who can’t care for his child as his mother did.

Not being able to wrap his arms around the precious little thing whenever he seeks guidance, comfort, or just needs his dad’s presence, rips the criminal’s heart out on a daily basis. Yet, after Sofia’s attempt to take his son’s life, Oswald can’t take any risks.

First, he tried staying apart from him completely - for Martin’s own good. But the little man wouldn’t listen. And one night, he broke into the mansion, alerting each and every security system in the process.

Of course, Oswald had tried to send him away again. But when Martin broke down in tears and spoke for the first time in his life, the gangster knew he stood no chance. Not after Martin had called him dad.

And since then, the mobster drives to New Haven every Friday evening, uncaring how much his bad leg would hurt, or much work still needs to be done, in order to spend the weekend with his kid.

Gabe is certain Oswald has an affair with some sweet, innocent girl who may never know he’s a gangster. Butch thinks more or less the same. Zsasz probably assumes he tortures his enemies in a dark cellar during his free time. And thank you very much, Oswald intends to keep it that way.

If only Ed would not puke the moment he enters a car, Oswald would take him along for the ride. But after countless failed attempts to get his pet used to driving, the mobster decided to hire a dog-sitter.

Sadly, neither Gabe nor Butch can be entrusted with the task at hand. Oswald doesn’t trust Gabe’s mental abilities enough to leave something as precious as Ed in his care. Butch, on the other hand, is still hopelessly devoted to Tabitha who in turn is still in a relationship with Barbara. And Oswald is pretty certain she wouldn’t hesitate to use his dog against him if given half a chance.

As for Zsasz… Well, keeping something alive outright contradicts his job description.

“Why don’t you ask Gordon?” The assassin’s voice pierces right through the kingpin’s musings, startling him in the process. “He owes you, right?” Zsasz continues. “And you haven’t been exactly collecting your debts lately. I mean, I’d rather torture him for a couple of days but as you seem to have a soft spot for Gordon….”

Holding up a hand, Oswald interrupts his subordinate. “I decidedly do not have a soft spot for the good Captain,” he states, pulling a face and Zsasz retreats with a soft smile playing around his lips.

Oh no, the Penguin definitely does not have a soft spot for anyone except his kid and dog. And certainly not for some deceitful cop. Sure, he should kill the man who brought him to Arkham twice, and who robbed him of his position of power in the process, but killing is just too mundane.

After all, revenge is a form of art. And Jim Gordon deserves something special. A special kind of revenge. The very moment Oswald has figured out what to do with him, he definitely will. Absolutely. That’s a promise. Until then, he can still be useful.

And maybe, just maybe, he admires Jim - just a bit. In a city full of corrupt politicians and crooked cops Gordon is a refreshing exception. He still refuses to adapt to the rules of Gotham City, still believes in fighting against all evil and still only compromises if absolutely necessary.

Jim Gordon is the closest thing to a dragon-slaying knight Oswald has ever encountered. In a way, he reminds him of the heroes from his childhood fairy-tales.

Deep down, he can’t even blame Jim for his desire to put him behind bars. The mobster is well-aware of the blood on his hands. In Jim Gordon’s eyes, he is a murderer. One who will continue to kill in the future and according to the cop, he needs to be stopped. So yes, maybe he has a soft spot for Gordon.

If he only understood that in a city like Gotham some deaths are absolutely necessary, mere casualties!

But then, Jim wouldn’t be Jim if he started understanding why Oswald does what he does. In this rotten city, he’s still a shining light, a man striving to bring back law and order, blind to the fact that only the king of all crime can guarantee some form of order. That’s just the way Gotham works and nothing will ever be able to change that. This city is simply rancid to its core.

Admitted, Jim’s attempts to save the city are a tad bit endearing. Or would be if they wouldn’t cost Oswald dearly time and time again.

Heaving a deep sigh, the kingpin takes another look at the box beneath his desk. Despite all his flaws, Jim cared quite nicely for Ed. Zsasz has a point there. The question is, would Jim accept to look after the pet? After what he said to him? Would he put up a fight again when it came to returning Ed?

Oswald doubts Jim would have really refused to give him his pet back. Sometimes the Captain simply acts like a stubborn child in his determination to keep what he loves safe and sound. A trait the mobster understands better than most people. In truth, Oswald wouldn’t have acted differently if their roles had been reversed.

The mobster regrets his harsh words deeply. He really crossed a line that day he shouldn’t have, despite his emotional turmoil. Yet, what better way to apologize than giving someone exactly what he wants? Self-satisfied with his train of thought, Oswald orders Gabe to take him to Gordon’s apartment.

When arriving at Jim’s place, the cop succeeds to surprise the mobster a second time.

Oswald remembers the place being a grimy, untidy mess. Yet when arriving, he finds Jim standing in his door frame, wearing sweatpants, holding a paint-brush and currently renovating his entrance area.

His face drops when the mobster limps closer. Clenching his jaw, he spits out his usual greeting. “Cobblepot.” Oswald wonders how he never fails to make his name sound like an insult.

“Old friend,” he taunts in return, knowing full well how much he despises the phrase.

Dropping the brush, Jim walks into his tiny flat, sure the gangster will follow. When looking around, Oswald notes a couple of major changes. The once almost gray walls are all painted white, the cheap linoleum covering the floor has been ripped out, revealing a rather nice parquet. The biggest improvement though is a big, very comfortable looking, light blue sofa in the living room. The kingpin takes all these changes in at lightning speed, keeping his face politely indifferent the entire time.

Jim follows his gaze towards the sofa. Being the good cop he is, it’s hard to deceive him. “Had to throw the old sofa out after Chester drooling all over it,” he growls but there’s no real heat behind his words.

“Right,” Oswald agrees, wondering what the real reason might be. It’s not like Ed has ever destroyed any furniture at his own home.

Walking into the kitchen, Jim pours himself a glass of water. “Want something?” he grumbles from behind the counter and the mobster wonders if he means some refreshments or the reason for his visit.

Trying his luck, he decides to ask for a cup of tea, almost certain Jim won’t have any at home. Moments later, he hears the sound of water heating up.

“Black tea or fruit tea?” comes the next question, sounding not less hostile. Oswald has to bite his tongue else he’d start lecturing Jim how fruit tea isn’t really tea but an infusion.

“Black,” he answers instead, playing absent-mindedly with his cane. “Two sugars and a dash of milk please.”

The Captain nods, jaw set so tight the mobster fears for him to get a cramp.

“What do you want from me?” Jim asks harshly and once he’s done, he pushes a cup into Oswald’s hands big enough to water an entire palm tree with its contents.

“Why thank you,” he replies smiling brightly. “I can’t recall you ever being so hospitable before.”

The cop grits his teeth. “Don’t get used to it,” he grumbles, downing his own glass of water. “I’m only worried you lost your dog again.”

“I really don’t intend letting Ed roam freely a habit,” Oswald chuckles, deciding to try out Jim’s new sofa.

“I only wish that was true,” Jim retorts, rolling his eyes and clearly meaning the human Edward.

“Jim Gordon making a joke, that’s one for the books!” he exclaims, pleased the irritable man is in a somewhat good mood. Of course, Jim doesn’t respond. “Really an improvement,” he praises once he’s settled on the couch.

Heaving a sigh, the cop takes a seat opposite the gangster. “So, what made you decide my first day off in two weeks should be interrupted by your visit?” Jim asks, tapping his foot impatiently, clearly itching to throw the gangster out already.

Oswald’s polite smile never falters despite being slightly irritated by the Captain’s behavior. Can Jim not once be civil? “I simply wanted to thank you for your well-chosen presents. Ed was delighted to have his little frock back. Are you still certain you didn’t name him after me?” The kingpin could bite his tongue. Somehow he has serious troubles not turning everything he says into a jab too.

“He ruined my sofa and turned my life upside down,” Jim scoffs. “Might have reminded me subconsciously about you,” he admits with the ghost of a smile playing around his lips.

“But unlike me, the dog didn’t ruin it?” Oswald scoffs in return.

“Never said you did,” Jim retorts, rendering the gangster speechless for a second.

Hiding his face behind the mug, the Penguin takes another sip from his tea. Trying to decide how to spring his idea at Jim, he finally goes for bluntness. So far, all his attempts to be diplomatic have been an utter waste anyway. “I need a dog-sitter,” he simply admits, trying to assess the other man’s reaction.

As usual, Jim stays stoic before his face gives away his emotions. For whatever reason, he’s utterly unable to control his expressions in front of the mobster. Within seconds, he goes from incredulousness to his usual anger to something Oswald can’t really assess. It might be hope but he isn’t certain.

“Last time I looked I was still a cop,” Jim remarks drily, “not one of your minions.”

“Very true, old friend,” the Penguin acknowledges with a lopsided grin. “Yet one who owes me one or two or maybe thirty-five favors. Not that I keep count,” he finishes, leaning back against the soft cushions.

Mirroring his movement, Jim contradicts him. “If you kept counting, old friend,” he starts, narrowing his eyes at him, “you would have noticed how that isn’t quite true.”

Jim Gordon’s usual self-denial was to be expected yet Oswald can’t help pulling a face. After everything he did, after bringing Sofia to Gotham, after putting him behind bars for crimes he didn’t even commit, after flying a blimp in circles for hours to save their beloved city, he would have expected at least something .

“May I jog your memory then?” he offers, the amiable facade again firmly in place.

“There’s really no need,” the other man growls. “I know what you did for me but clearly you have no concept of what I did in return.”

“So you think taking care of my dog for a week makes us even?” the mobster snaps back incredulously.

Tilting his head, Jim considers the man sitting in front of him. The silence stretches between them for an almost uncomfortable amount of time before the cop speaks again. This time, he’s barely audible.

“I was rather referring to all these times I didn’t put you behind bars when I had the opportunity,” Jim tells him in a gentle voice.

And isn’t that just the height of insolence? Wasn’t the other man happy to send him off to Arkham and throw the keys away for his own benefit? Didn’t he allow for him to get tortured without even batting an eye?

Before Oswald can so much as take a proper breath, Jim already holds up a hand. “I know what you must think,” he says. “But how many times did you stab, shot, or threaten to torture someone directly under my nose? Hmm?”

“You sent me to Arkham!” the mobster blurts out. “Twice! For crimes, I never committed! And you knew !”

“Exactly,” Jim concedes. “You were never insane, though. You would have never been released from Blackgate. And I never claimed otherwise in court.”

Slightly taken aback, the Penguin tries processing the given information. Could it be true? Was sending him to Arkham an act of mercy in Jim’s eyes? Did he rather let him go to this hellish place because he knew he would be released at some point?

Shaking himself mentally, he snaps out of it. Jim has never been soft on him. He set out to destroy his empire and only when realizing that the alternatives were much worse, he let him reign somewhat freely. Only since that ordeal with Sofia, Jim has toned his efforts to drag him to the ground a notch down.

“You ruined my empire,” Penguin accuses. “You ruined the Pax Penguina when it just worked perfectly fine,” he concludes.

“Worked just fine?!” Jim’s voice practically booms through the tiny apartment. Getting up he starts pacing the tiny place, body shaking from barely contained rage.

“You practically declared yourself a God who decides who lives and who dies in Gotham and who becomes the victim of a crime and who doesn’t. Nobody should be allowed to wield that amount of power. Not you, not me, nobody.”

By the end of Jim’s speech, the Penguin is almost certain he’ll grab his lapels and shake him again. Yet he doesn’t. Instead, the cop just looks slightly defeated despite all his anger.

“Why would you need a dog-sitter?” Jim then asks out of nowhere, effectively changing the topic. “Don’t you have an entire army of goons at your disposal to look after Ches-, I mean Edward?”

Turning the cane thoughtfully between his fingers the Penguin nods silently.

“So why come to me?” Jim urges and again Oswald decided honestly would be the best course of action.

“I like knowing who and what I love is safe when I’m away from Gotham,” he sighs. “I don’t need a repetition of what happened to my mother.”

Gordon doesn’t answer right away, just frowns slightly. “I won’t become a co-perpetrator to murder,” he finally decides. “If you want to place Ed into my care only so you can go and stab someone….”

Oswald scoffs. “Please stop painting me as some lunatic serial-killer. That’s frankly insulting.”

The Captain merely rolls his eyes.

“I now and then have to leave Gotham to take care of someone very important to me,” he admits. “And I would rather do so knowing Ed is being well cared for. But I completely understand now that going to you had been a stupid idea.”

Picking up his coat, Oswald turns to leave. “Thank you for your time, Jim,” he tells him, already reaching for the doorknob, cursing when some of the fresh paint stains his sleeve.

“Wait!” the cop mutters. “I never said I wouldn’t do it.”

#Gobblepot #fanfiction

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tzigone · 5 years

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Favorite characterization of Dick Grayson

What's your favorite era or writer for Dick Grayson? What characterizations do you like or dislike?

Here are my opinions. I may ramble a bit. Sorry about that.

You can skip this paragraph if you don't care how I ended up here and which comics I’ve read - it's not particularly important, I just wanted to share. First, while previously having seen on-screen versions of Dick Grayson, and read a bit of DickBabs fanfic (Batman: TAS sold me on them before the show went directions I loathe), I never actually read any issues of DC until 2015ish. Had been a Marvel girl because they didn't do reboots, but then they destroyed Peter Parker's marriage and rebooted the universe, so I abandoned comics for a while. But then I saw some reruns of Young Justice cartoon. So I read some fic. Many fics incorporated comic characters. There I discovered Spoiler, who I really liked the idea of as Spoiler (someone who works against Batman's wishes and doesn't obey his orders and refused to back down, but isn’t a killer). So I read the Robin series for the first 100+ issues (quitting when I knew War Games was near because the storyline sounded bad). But that made me decide to read the Nightwing comic that stared in that era. Really liked that, and really liked Dick Grayson (on-screen portrayals had already lead me to favor him). Then Birds of Prey, Dixon-era, too. Then, because I liked Dick, the Original and New Teen Titans. Original was too Silver Age for me, but really enjoyed 1980-1986ish New Teen Titans (thought it went downhill after that, and abandoned when I reached 1990 issues). Also read assorted Golden, Silver, and Bronze Age comics. So I have relatively broad, but very shallow knowledge of most Bat-eras, with more in-depth knowledge of the '90s and much less of post-2000 (mostly fic, which isn't always representative of the comic).

While I have opinions on various Bat and non-Bat characters and storylines, I'm starting with Dick here. He was my favorite. It's so dependent on writing (as is ever character), and right now he’s Ric, and that is something I’m not interested in.

While I absolutely like aspects from other eras, and I dislike some aspects from these eras, my favorite time periods for Dick are probably 1980-1986ish and 1996-2000. There’s some good 70s stuff and I like certain dynamics of him as guardian/mentor to Damian (and some stuff with other family), but as whole, these two eras in his titles (Teen Titans and Nightwing) are my favorites. For his characterization as stand-alone (rather than his relationships with other characters).

Golden and silver age Dick merit a bit less discussion. Characters weren’t as distinct from each other back then. Nor, really, as consistent. But Dick was sometimes regarded as quite a mature young man in the golden age. Responsible, good grades, intelligent, etc. But so was Speedy - like I said, not much distinction. Despite some impressions, in the stories I read I did not notice Robin to make lots of puns or be unusually cheery and smiley.

Come to the mid-60s and Dick was so much a teenager. I mean the original Teen Titans fairly scream with it early on (so much slang, really folks). One writer I didn’t like had him behave like an idiot (I’m not the only one who thought so, judging by the letters pages, though opinions were split). Really, though, in the early original Teen Titans it felt like writer(s) were trying to push the “teen” thing too much, and they sometimes came off like caricatures. But it was a time in comics when stories and characterizations were shifting and there were, IMO, both failures and successes in trying to embrace new and different.

The ‘70s were okay. Some bits I liked, and some I didn‘t. Dick is usually responsible in Detective Comics stories. He did a little bit of playing the play-boy (with Silver), which isn’t my speed, since I like the idea that Dick, unlike Bruce, doesn’t put on a facade in day-to-day life. Had a few girlfriends - very normal and not either stunningly celibate or shockingly promiscuous. Though the entire 70s was one year of college for Dick.

I am not at all fond of the "goofy" Dick that seems to have popped up fairly often in the past 20 years. They often seemed to have seriously dampened his brainpower and detective skills (because Tim is the smart one and the detective and for some reason they can’t both be that). I’m not a fan of separate out all Batman’s skills and assigning one to each Robin. It makes the Robins all less than Batman and inferior to him and sets that they will never be his equals and that I do not agree with. Now this is by no means a *consistent* thing, but it does happen, and it does irritate me. I don’t like seeing characters diminished.

I really love old-school Dick. Back when he was young (late '70s to mid '80s), they showed us how mature he was (probably to contrast his youth and make him a viable peer to older heroes). Both Wally and Roy commented on it. Roy said how he always felt so much younger (issue where he got custody of Lian). Wally though Dick was always on top of things (Kory and Donna knew better). Heck, Terry's (Donna's ex) bachelor party was another fine example how much more of an adult he was than some men twice his age. He was pretty cerebral, a fantastic detective, a good fighter, etc. He could hang out and have fun, too, of course. He wasn't a stick-in-the-mud. He was too closed off and unwilling to talk sometimes (moreso with his team, and perhaps because he thought he needed to project confidence as a leader?). He was, in a reverse, quite willing to talk about other people's emotional issues. Sometimes as a friend, and sometimes as a leader. He behaved most immaturely when dealing with Batman, particularly as their relationship became more difficult - there were times when they brought out the worst in each other. Though it wasn't steady, of course.

We really got to see Dick as a leader in this era. Someone people respected and looked up to. Not that his team always agreed with him or that he was always right, but that but that he was a person that people did have trust in. And that he usually did a good job of deserving it. It’s not just other teenagers, though, but the older heroes respect him as well. It’s also the first time we a real, substantive romance - with Kory. Saw where he floundered and how he loved, and such. Which I thought worked well until it reached a point where I thought it needed to end, and it didn’t (or rather it did end, but didn’t stay ended). Readers who like the ship, though, will likely have a different perspective, if they are like me (I just blame the writing when this sort of thing happens with ships I prefer).

Batman: Year Three - not the best story. I don't remember most of it, to be honest. But one thing I really liked was the highlighted difference between Bruce and Dick. It hits that Dick is more emotionally healthy than Bruce. That Dick had the emotional support Bruce lacked as a child (I don't think continuity had yet settled on the idea of Alfred as a father-figure to Bruce). That could segue me into changes in Bruce's backstory and characterization, but I'll refrain. I will say that I preferred Dick with the nice-nuns orphanage to Dick-in-juvenile-facility (though I really, really like Dixon's run on Nightwing). It makes Bruce less of a "rescuer" of Dick, which I prefer. I do not like the idea that Dick was doomed to end up dead on street (or a criminal) if not for Bruce. Though I admit to preferring old-school Dick-goes-directly-to-Bruce's-home, no matter how unrealistic. I dislike the entire Talon thing even more. I hate the back-projecting of more angst and more terrible things, like his parents being murdered wasn't bad enough.

Now we come to Nightwing series. I really liked Dixon's run. I'm a DickBabs fan, so seeing them get together was great. I did read he wanted Dick/Donna, and I'm glad that didn't happen. Partially because I'm a DickBabs fan, but also because I really, really liked the platonic friendship between Dick and Donna during the New Titans. And I liked that it was platonic and that a friendship - rather than romance - could be so very important. I don't think friendships get near the credit they should as important relationships in fiction, and so often fans want them to be romantic. And the older I get, the more I value good fictional friendships and sibling relationships and so on. For the record, I also really liked the Vic/Gar friendship. And I still tend to think of Donna, rather than Wally as Dick's BFF. Though he has many friends.

Anyway, I really liked seeing Dick working on his own and having his own city. He was finding his own path and his rogues were being developed. I liked the idea of him as a cop, and I enjoyed Amy. I liked a lot of his banter with Barbara. But not just the banter, the serious stuff. Dick was looking for a real, long-term, serious relationship. And Barbara was the hesitant one - for understandable reasons. It's an everyday reminder of the things they used to do together. Things he can do that she no longer can. And she really wants to.

Of course, in this era, he was totally a big brother to Tim, a relationship he never really had with Jason (post-crisis). Now, Bruce's character was becoming worse and worse in this era, so that provided some conflict for Dick. Early in the series, Bruce wasn't that bad yet, and he and Dick had some nice bonding/reconciling moments. And so some of the issues were just on Dick's side. He has, since at least the Titans days, had a persistent need to prove himself Batman's equal. To others and to Batman. I was kinda peeved with Donna when she said he'd never be as good. He thinks Bruce thinks less of him on occasions when Bruce doesn't. But Bruce still treats him like an underling a good portion of the time. He expects Dick to take orders with no questions and doesn't give him full details of plans and doesn't listen to his opinions or consider Dick's needs. Way too often, Bruce just puts his goal ahead of everyone else. That's an issue with Bruce. But Dick feels like it's Bruce not seeing him as equal. Which it is, IMO, but mostly in the sense that Bruce tends to put himself/his goal above all others in terms of importance (a problem that has only gotten worse with time).

I wasn't real fond back-projection/retconning of the Dick/Babs relationship over the years. Or her de-aging. I like her at least 4 years older than Dick. With no involvement when he was in highschool. Flirtation when he was in college (1970s Batman family issues), sure, but nothing really happening until he's in Bludhaven and in his mid 20s and the 5-7 year age gap doesn't matter because they're both adults. I much prefer her pre-crisis background with Batman to the post-crisis one, but that's a topic for my post on her.

Then the Devin Grayson era - I don't agree with all the positions of the author, but I do agree about Devin Grayson: http://theflyingwonder.tumblr.com/post/107703923021/you-made-me-curious-and-i-couldnt-resist-it-tell and I think way too many of her aspects stuck with the character. Which I guess makes her a success, but doesn't work for me at all, because I don't like the character she describes at all and he is not Dick to me. I've read her interview on Dick Grayson and her perception of the character was just nothing like mine. She acts like he's not a thinker (even though got called too cerebral in the old days). She acts like Dick either "fights or fucks" everyone he meets, and totally disregards so many other types of relationships. Now, the Mirage-rape had already happened (and was horribly handled), plus the Raven-mind-controllish thing (also didn't work for me), but Grayson made Dick the sleeps-around type. That was specifically contradictory to earlier characterizations where Dick was the committed-relationship type - something he actually discussed with Roy at one point. I liked Dick being a relationship-only guy, it was a big contrast with Bruce (particularly post-Crisis Bruce). I don't like Dick being Batman-lite at all.

Not Devin Grayson, but Nightwing Annual #2 - ghastly. So incredibly out of character for who Dick was back then. Another not-my-review at http://theflyingwonder.tumblr.com/post/93534635531/can-you-explain-the-nightwing-annual-2-thing. Though I would go further in that it's reason I don't like post-Kory’s-political-wedding Dick/Kory. It felt like a lot of build up to "love isn't enough" and then he basically chunked his beliefs to stay with her, which makes the relationship a bad thing to me. Here's my less-well-worded thoughts when I read the wedding. http://tzigone.tumblr.com/post/170389768364/nightwing-and-starfire

So, Dick's life in Bludhaven was destroyed. His life as independent hero was destroyed. I enjoyed Dick with the Titans, but him in Gotham is a no-go to me. Because he goes back to being an appendage of Bruce. He's working in someone else's city, he's a subordinate (at least with Bruce is actually there).

I haven't read as much of the Dick/Damian relationship as I maybe should have. While interested in their dynamic, I'm not keen on Dick's wider characterization. I do not like lothario-Dick. And I do not like Batman-lite Dick. So I deeply disliked him taking Robin from Tim and giving it away without discussing it, just like Bruce did to him. Yeah. To top that off, I unlike many, did not like the first 12 issues of Red Robin, so there wasn't even pay-off. And then later we'd get Dick faking his death and hurting his family for the sake of the mission (Batman's mission). Too Batman-like. I do get incredibly frustrated with that no matter how badly he treats them, Bruce's "kids" keep coming back and following his orders. I didn't like his non-masked storyline, in N52, either. Sadly, at least Barbara (who I don’t like being a student of Bruce’s), Dick, and Tim have all adopted some of Bruce’s worse traits in regards to secrets and manipulation at one point or another.

But my biggest thing is that Dick all to often (not always, but even once is too often) gets treated like a joke. He's the lovable brother, and that part is okay. But he's all cuddles and cartoons and Disney and most of his maturity is just gone. This is heavy in fic, but it's present in the comics, too. At 19 he was man, and now he's a man-child. Not when he's working, I mean, but in personal life. Lex Luthor says he's not a big thinker and some people agree. And that is just totally wrong to me. For me Dick, while far from perfect, is a person that has earned and has respect not only from his peers, but from the first-generation heroes. And it just gets worse later. Late Pre-Crisis they de-age him and he's 21 in N52 (when it starts anyway). And I hated his de-aging, and Barbara's. It feels like they're being drug backwards and not allowed to grow up. Even though Barbara *started* grown up and Dick had pretty much been a man even during his endless year at Hudson. I don't like the idea of Dick as someone people don't take seriously. Bart or Booster, maybe is someone villains don't take seriously, but should. But Dick, at least as he reaches his adult years, should be someone that people (villains and colleagues) do take seriously and respect. Thought without the intimidation Batman has, at least with criminals. I will say I do think it was done partially to keep Batman from getting too old to do the job, but I still don’t care for it.

Don’t get me started on Dick and what he thought was Bruce’s body and the Lazarus pit.

I thought the entire issue with Dick and Bruce after Bruce’s failed wedding was bad. Dick tries to be the goofball. They try to redeem it at the end, but it falls flat because he was stupid enough to think it would help in the first place.

Some people seem to think it's the sweetest thing ever if Dick moves back to Gotham and lives in the manor and Bruce takes care of him, and that's just a no-go to me. It's infantilizing. He's grown up and should be allowed to grow up. I see a lot of infantilizing of Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian. I get why it's done (to see Bruce the dad), but dislike it intensely. It's demeaning to me. I like Bruce the dad, too. But he can be a dad to adult children and treat them like adults (well, the grown ones). And yes, like equals, but that it what I think the relationship between adult parents and children should be. Though it’ll be a long time before Bruce gets to a point where he’ll consistently do that.

Side note: the comments on Dick's body get a little old. I totally get that he's stunning. I'm cool with Kory or Barbara or his current girlfriend enjoying his body or complimenting him on it. But sometimes it seems like various characters (usually female) are discussing him like a piece of meat. Particularly frustrating when his hero colleagues do so. I know a good bit of this comes with me binge-reading, making it seem more often than when issues are read a month apart.

#Richard Grayson #Nightwing #Batman #Bruce Wayne #Barbara Gordon #koriandr #koriand'r

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suzie-guru · 6 years

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Suzie’s Decidedly Non-Coherent Thoughts Regarding Trollhunters Season 3.

OKAY.

So I fully acknowledge I’ve been putting this off, but to be fair to myself, I am still in the midst of some pretty intensive training for this job, and also...

THERE WAS A LOT TO PROCESS WITH THIS SEASON.

LIKE, A LOT.

So this post will honestly be a hodgepodge of all sorts of things, and I’m pretty damn sure it won’t be the least bit coherent, but...I made a promise to y’all.

By far and away, A House Divided was my favorite episode, and that’s really fucking saying something because this Season was RICH with good episodes. I said it once and I’m saying it again, A House Divided is peak Trollhunters - I was breathless and shaking from the power and emotion of that ending scene. Trollhunters is a great show all around, but when it’s when it stops and allows the emotional weight and poignancy of Jim’s journey, all of the sacrifices he has made, to set in and gives its due course...it’s heartbreaking and it’s magnificent and so incredibly powerful.

Jim’s journey has never been an easy one, but episode hit me like a hammer to the heart - he can’t come back from this. His human life is effectively over. He’s giving up so much, so incredibly much, and he keeps on choosing to answer the call, give himself over again and again and again. This episode brought this all home, and my God, it was heart-wrenching.

I will admit, I was at first puzzled and a little upset that after everyone saying that it was Jim’s humanity that made him such a strong Trollhunter, suddenly that wasn’t enough. It felt like such a slap in the face. But if there’s one thing about Trollhunters that stays strong, it’s the theme of sacrifice. Jim sacrificing his right to have a normal life to be the Trollhunter the world needs, Draal sacrificing his arrogance and dreams to be the protector and friend of the Trollhunter, Strickler sacrificing his desire for power to be worthy of Barbara’s love and Jim’s trust...

Sacrifice isn’t easy. It hurts a hell of a lot at times. And that’s what makes Jim such an incredible hero. When all the pieces are down, he chooses to be selfless, to put the world above himself. He ends the life he wants to have the life that will save others. I can’t even put into words what that does to me...

Phew. Okay. Deeeeeep breath, Suzanne, and collect thyself. Now onto other things...

All the above being said, Merlin is a dick. Look, I get it - he sees the bigger picture, he cares but he has to look at what needs to be done. I understand that angle. But he’s still a fucking dick. And I’m not only thinking about how he manipulates treats Jim.

Yeah, I’m thinking about Strickler.

Who Merlin dismisses as Changeling before walking away...

Sure, Walter was groveling to him at that moment, but...Jesus Christ, you musty magic man. Yes, absolutely, look down like everyone else does upon the race that your goddamned pupil created - hell, you probably look down on them BECAUSE your goddamn pupil created them. Don’t stop to think about they had no choice in the matter, don’t stop to think about how YOU’VE could have helped them and turned them away from Morgana if you had stepped up and set an example of acceptance that other trolls could have followed. Dismiss them just like everyone else does. Let your own bitter disappointment about Morgana color your feelings to them. JERK.

ALSO. YOU WANTED A “CHAMPION WITH A FOOT IN BOTH WORLDS”!?! GOSH, I DON’T KNOW, MAYBE A FUCKING CHANGELING CHAMPION WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER SOLUTION THAN A POOR TEENAGER WHO JUST WANTS TO LIVE HIS LIFE AND LOVE HIS MOM AND COOK GREAT FOOD AND RIDE HIS VESPA. JUST AN IDEA, JACKASS.

Look, fuck Merlin. Just fuck him. Jim deserves to be a champion of someone SO much better. Merlin and Morgana are both using their champions as pawns although, to Merlin’s credit, he makes a point of opening Jim’s eyes and making it about Jim’s choice. But yeah, I’m gonna write a very cathartic fanfic featuring Barbara Lake giving Merlin all kinds of hell in regards to his gross negligence over the whole changeling thing...

Okay, what else...what could I possibly be missing...

Oh yeah!

STRICKLAKE.

Man, I was one happy camper this season after the decidedly dry spell of Season Two. And by “happy camper” I mean gloriously tortured, but I figured you would gather that.

So many good things, so many gorgeous scenes! Walter on gravesand being brought back by his love for Barbara, his UTTER NERDNESS nervousness and psyching himself up with French (THIS FUCKING DORK) to talk to her again, Barbara being a MAJOR FUCKING ARTIST (MY GIRL IS SO TALENTED) and trying to cope with Walter running off, Walt being tempted by Morgana!Barbara (oh my god my son my son be strong my son but at the same time THIS SHIT IS ALL THE FLAVORS OF MY JAM)

AND THEN THAT SCENE IN THE MUSEUM?!

(HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT WE GOT A MOONLIT FLIGHT MY STRANGE MAGIC HEART WAS QUAKING WITH JOY AND I MAY HAVE MURMURED “THE MOONLIGHT IS PERFECT RIGHT NOW”, DON’T JUDGE MEEEEEE)

Okay, one big ass complaint though:

WE DID NOT GET A SCENE BETWEEN WALTER AND BARBARA WHERE SHE LETS HIM KNOW SHE REMEMBERS EVERYTHING.

...WTF?!?

On one hand, this is perfect fanfic fuel.

On the other hand, WE WAS ROBBED.

Also, did she just tell the other parents that he was in on everything? How on earth did that go down? I’M SO CURIOUS.

THAT PLAY. THOSE FUCKING DORKS. DICTATIOUS BEING ROPPED INTO IT AS WELL. THE FACT THAT WALTER ACTUALLY CHANGED INTO HIS TROLL FORM FOR IT. I’m super confused, did the other parents (aside from Barbara, obviously) think it was makeup or what?

Meanwhile Walter’s just like “fuck it it might as well happen at least Barbara let me into her house I’ve sat through parent teacher conferences with these plebs before I can handle doing this rag-tag-ass play”

AND THEN!

Okay, I fucking CALLED Usurna pretending to be Barbara as soon as she pretended to cower next to Walter. BARBARA LAKE IS NOT ONE TO COWER, YOU STONY BITCH.

“My life is not worth the world!” “...It is to me.”

*Regina: Stricklake*

*The Heart She’s Holding: Mine*

then...

“May the world forgive me. For without you, there is no world!”

I’M OKAY, I’M FINE, I SWEAR I’M FINE.

Okay, what else...here’s a random run-down:

THAT LAST FIGHT SCENE WAS STUNNING. Like, granted, the animation is always good, BUT HOLY HELL, THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND BREATHTAKING, EVERYTHING WAS CHOREOGRAPHED SO WELL.

Walter FINALLY coming back to his rightful place of being Concerned Instructor/Father Figure to Jim. “Young Atlas, you are not alone! Don’t do this! Open the door!”

(I was literally eating ice cream during this moment, this gif is all too real).

STEVE AND ELI’S REACTION TO NOMURA WAS A BLESSING. LIKE, AN HONEST AND TRUE BLESSING. WE GOT THE SLOW MOTION AND MUSIC AND EVERYTHING.

Oh fuck oH FUCK, I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT NOMURA’S REACTION TO FINDING OUT ABOUT DRAAL’S DEATH

OOOOOOOUUUUUUCH

Okay, enough pain...

(for now)

ANGOR REDEMPTION. WE HAVE BEEN BLESSED.

So I had seen that Walter had wings in the concept art of the show, but I was under the impression that they had decided to forgo that. COLOR ME HAPPY WHEN IT TURNS OUT, NOPE, THEY DID NOT.

So can Walter just decide he’s feeling more like his knife cape today? I wonder how that works...

(totally not planning a fanfic exploring this and Walter wrapping his wings around Barbara like a cocoon)

((totally not))

(((she lied)))

“I think these kitties are from a bad neighborhood”

“B is for blender, fur ball.” BARBARA, MY SAVAGE SWEETHEART, FUCK ‘EM UP, FUCK ‘EM ALL UP, YES YES YES.

So I have personally figured out how I would solve Walter being stuck in his Troll form in my own fanfics (WHICH I AM SO EXCITED TO WRITE, OH WOW) but I’m pretty darn sure that there are multiple other ways for us to work with that (glamour masks, potions, et cetera et cetera...)

I’m pretty damn sure that Barbara and Walter AREN’T gonna be raising all those babies, but you never know. I personally like the idea of them seeking out adoption centers over the world (Walter knows them because of his work with the Janus Order), but then they decide to raise the REAL Strickler as their own.

YES I HAVE A FANFIC PLANNED DO NOT JUDGE ME

And yes, I’m sure I am not alone in this, but I let out a soft sob when I saw that dedication to Anton. Rest In Peace, darling.

What else...

Oh yeah:

Jim’s Troll form is hot.

There, I’ve said it.

So yeah, this is all just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my emotions over this show, especially with the fact that it’s officially over. But yeah...what a beautiful and brilliant ride. I couldn’t have asked for me.

...except an on-screen Stricklake kiss.

But that’s what fanfic is for.

#trollhunters #trollhunters season three #trollhunters spoilers #yeah I'm still a mess #I ain't apologizing

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chronicbatfictioner · 6 years

Text

Fast Car - Chapter 17

"You've got the meds?"

"Yeah, one patch is on. Scheduling is on." Tim replied. "Synced with your cellphone so you can nag me if I forget to replace it."

It had sounded scary at first, for both Tim and Jason. Jason suspected that it would've been scarier, still, for Tim. He was the one who'd need to wear it at all times, after all. The patch looked like a simple, clear-colored band-aid, but it was actually filled with a plethora of electronics underneath, "the nutshell version is having electroshock therapy device attached to you at all times, but it'll release hormones instead of electricity," Tim had explained. It would be placed just under his hairline, on the nape of his neck. Tim assured him many, many times that it does not deliver actual electric shocks and/or will be shorting when the wearer is showering/swimming. "That's the first thing I made sure of, duh. The second was the invisibility." Because Tim understood the stigma of a mental health diagnosis quite well, and a light-colored patch on a dark skin would look like a beacon advertising the wearer's affliction.

The last of the cuts on his arms had faded to nearly invisible scars on Tim's pale skin, crisscrossing the old ones. Random passers-by wouldn't have noticed them. Jason could feel them, still, when he run his hand over them. And Tim's face--

There would always be a faint hint of peach on his cheeks these days, and not so much of the purple raccoon eyes that had shocked Jason four months ago. Jason had trimmed Tim's hair, there are still enough for Jason to grab and play on, but not too long to cover his eyes.

Within a mere month after Jason moved back with him, the sunken-ness of Tim's cheeks had filled up some, earning him comments of "you look younger!' from his colleagues. Jason could always tell when some of Tim's colleagues teased him about his age and looks - Tim would commandeer the electric shaver the next day and let it run across his smooth chin and jawline, hoping that he would grow beard or some sort of facial hair. So far, still no luck. But Jason still counted a win when a pout and sulk and an attempt to shave would be as far as Tim would do. And in the lab, Conner was good enough to steer Tim clear off Tim's intention of researching ways to grow facial hair.

There are no blades in the loft, Jason made sure of it. All of their kitchen appliances are locked, with only Jason allowed access to them. A little extreme, sure, but they have reached an agreement that it was better for both of them if all kinds of temptations were out of sight and access from Tim.

But then again, Tim's needs for... the 'distractions' have abated a lot, a whole lot with Jason being there. He was still busy with the lab below, but with Bruce granting Jason special access key to the lab, Tim really couldn't run away - or lock himself in, which he'd done a few times before Bruce gave Jason a key - when Jason went into the lab and demand him to go home and get some sleep. Now, Timmers, or I'll haul you up. The excited and expectant gawks from Tim's lab-mates would usually be enough for Tim to stop whatever it is he was working on and followed Jason home with a massive pout and several choice-words of curses and grumbles.

Hopefully he would still miss the low-fives or fist bumps Jason got from Bart or Conner whenever he'd make Tim leave the lab. Or the fact that Conner would promptly close the lab some five minutes after Tim left.

Conner had brought his girlfriend, Cassandra Sandsmark, and Bart brought his girlfriend, Kiran Singh; on just about every weekends to have triple dates. Or in lazy and/or blizzard times, they would stay in and stream some movies while Conner and Jason practiced their culinary skills. So far, Bart noted, he hasn't needed to call in for emergency pizza to the rescue. Or booked a trip to the ER for food poisoning.

Jason had fully moved out from the Wayne's barn, and temporarily moved in to Tim's loft as their house was being renovated to accommodate Tim's work space and his garage. Jason had also managed to argue Tim out of making him the sole owner of the house, after a whole lot of arguments and getting Barbara's help to make him a slideshow presentation.

Seriously. There was a presentation describing the benefits of co-owning the house vs having just his name there. Credit scores and all. Jason never even know what his credit score was. Or that he even had a credit score. He'd always thought those things were just for people who has a lot of money or born with money and/or inheritance.

There will be their individual work spaces in the opposing wings of the house, and there would be no locks on the doors of the work spaces. They have both agreed to have alarms to limit their home-working hours and remind the other to take care of themselves. And this, Jason knew, this would be something Tim would adhere to. His organized mind just simply not able to not follow a schedule. That point was prominent in Jason's mind when he wrote his part of the vow.

The Vow that he and Tim would recite in a few weeks, Jason mused as he felt the cold metal around his ring finger, and caught the glint of the ruby on the ring around Tim's finger as Tim's arm hooked around Jason's. His own arms were full of tupperware boxes - Alfred was not joking when he said he'd pack leftovers after their Sunday Dinner at the Wayne Manor. They would be eating well for the next week. Maybe. Or at least the next three to four days, if neither of them would end up with overtimes and eating less than two meals per day at home.

Or two days, if Bart managed to sneak his way in to their home.

"Home," Tim suddenly said.

"Hm?"

"I was just thinking... for a pair of orphans, we've managed to have not one, but two homes for ourselves." Tim said. "Not too shabby."

"Not too shabby at all." Jason agreed, pressing his lips on Tim's temple. "Thank you."

"Jason," Tim smiled ruefully. "Thank you, for not leaving me behind. In BrisTown."

"I couldn't. You've got the fast car." Jason grinned impishly.

"Well now you've got the literal fast car." Tim grinned at him. "How does it feel?" he asked as he helped Jason putting the boxes into Jason's car, a 2013 Mustang that used to belong to Dick and Jason had acquired in exchange of making five of Dick's other cars - including, of all things, a 1974 VW Beetle ("this is the last that was built in Germany, Jason! Before they moved the factory to Mexico!") - working and running again. Damn thing was older than Bruce and by all means should have been buried with its dignity intact, long ago. But Dick refused to let her die, and Jason had wondered if he'd have to make ritual sacrifices for parts, until Tim gave him the number of his contact in Germany who provided a number of cobbled-together parts.

"It feels..." he caressed the car's roof gently. "Well, you really can't go wrong with Mustang." he grinned. "But you really can't go wrong driving it with the one you love."

Tim snorted mirthfully, taking a seat on the passenger's side. "God, you cheesy." he said, scrunching his nose.

"You've known me for a long time now, and you just found it out now?" Jason quipped as he entered the driver's side.

"No, just didn't think I'd like it so much." Tim replied, a hesitant smile on his face as his lower lip started to tremble.

Jason reached over and tugged Tim's chin gently. "Hey, come on now. What is it?"

"I'm screwed, aren't I?" Tim said, a line of tears starting down his cheek.

"Welp, technically, you're legal and consenting. So I don't see the needs for the waterworks." Jason grinned at him, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Tim laughed and swatted his hand. "You jerk. I was trying to be sappy and all." he made a face. "But we'll need some stuff. I think we're out of lube."

"Whaaat? Again??"

"Hey, I'm not the one who use that thing like you're deep-frying!"

They drove away from the Wayne Manor in relative silence, Jason's non-driving hand on the nape of Tim's neck.

"I love you." Tim suddenly said.

Jason didn't take his eyes off the road, but squeezed Tim's neck lightly and replied. "I love you, too."

Maybe, Jason silently prayed, maybe they can fix themselves well. Together. They have a good number of people who could support them, anyway. Bruce, Dick, Barbara, and Alfred to help Jason through his doubting days; Conner, Bart, Cassandra, and Kiran, to support Tim if/when Jason was being a jerk. Surprisingly, when Damian was informed of Tim's clinical condition, he was incredibly interested to help keep an eye on Tim, "to see if the device works or not, Todd!"

Jason suspected it's just another thing Damian is keeping records of, to use against Tim when he couldn't win in a normal argument. Dick assured him that Damian's scathing ways were simply his way to show he cares. The jury is still out in that, though.

"You know what else we've got?" he said as something struck him.

"What?"

"Family." Jason smiled and scratched Tim's head a little. "Lookit that, orphan boy, we've got a family."

"We do, don't we?" Tim smiled brightly. "Whaddya know..."

They were silent for a few heartbeats until Tim spoke again, "so we gonna stick our vows on my mom's grave, too?"

Jason grinned mischievously. "You betcha, Timmers. Let her know that we've made it."

Note: End of this segment! I hope y'all like, and as always, comments, likes & reblogs are very, very appreciated! This here be the first multi-chaptered fanfic I've ever posted. And it feels kind of poignant for me that the last chapter is posted on NYE. Bye, 2017! Hello, 2018! Here's to hoping that our respective lives will be better in 2018 and brighter. And our muses remain as active if not more active as ever and allow us to tell their stories - preferably not at the same time. Maybe I should devise a queue number for them muses, like at banks... Anyway! Again, thank you everybody who'd left comments, likes, and/or reblogs, the lifeblood of all artworkers. Have a happy New Year, all!

#Jason Todd #Tim Drake #JayTim #fastcarAU #Conner Kent #Bart Allen #no-capeAU #Dick Grayson #Bruce Wayne #Damian Wayne #Batfam #yaaay it's done!

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justgotham · 7 years

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This past weekend gave us the third annual edition of Brooklyn, NY's Flame Con, an LGBT-themed comic convention where you can attend some cool panels, ogle some amazing cosplay, and--most relevant to my own particular experience--spend more money than you probably should on the show floor. There's also a quiet "AFK Lounge" where you can step away from the hubub, something that I personally think all cons *coughNYCCcough* should invest in.

But it wasn't just buying art prints when you have no more wallspace, why in God's name do I do this to myself? Ahem. Saturday night saw actor Robin Lord Taylor, who plays Oswald Cobblebot/The Penguin on Fox's Gotham, put in an appearance to talk about LGBT representation, the Penguin's relationship with Ed Nygma/The Riddler... and even to drop a few vague hints about season four, premiering on September 21.

For those who haven’t been watching Gotham—and seriously, I get it, we’re in the era of Peak TV and there are 492 shows to catch up on at any given time, but Gotham is a damn fun show to binge watch while you’re doing laundry, and I thoroughly recommend it—their version of Oswald Cobblepot is a queer man, who in season 3 realized his love for friend-turned-enemy Edward Nygma (Cory Michael Smith). To quote Taylor, it’s less “love” than “[Oswald’s] ideas of what love are”—a somewhat warped idea of romance brought about by decades of bullying, friendlessness, and just generally being an awful human being. (Hello, supervillain!)

“They had not told me when they started the show” that Oswald was queer, Taylor told moderator Kevin Gilligan, board member of Geeks OUT. “We didn’t really discuss his sexuality beyond the fact that he was somewhat divorced from it because of the bullying and experiences he had as a child.”

When the writers told Taylor and Smith about the romance storyline, it was Taylor’s decision not to “go back and write some sort of history with this character and say he always had these feelings. I’m treating this as though he’s opening his eyes. The first person he sees is his mother, and then his father. The only people that he ever loved.”—played by Carol Kane and Paul Reubens. Bow down. After the two of them, “the first person that ever shows him any sort of respect, and someone that he is equally challenged by, was the Riddler. And who also, you know, was kind to him. And that’s the first time he experienced that, outside of his parents. So obviously, for Oswald, because he’s a very manipulative and stunted person, he’s going to glom right on to that. And that’s going to be where we start with these romantic feelings.”

Taylor is careful not to label Oswald’s sexuality, noting that “I would be ascribing labels to someone who’s… coming from a place of such darkness and manipulation and abuse. And I don’t want to ascribe any of that to anyone who’s part of the larger LGBTQIA community… .This character is not an example of any sort of queer experience that anyone in the world should have or really should look up to, because again, he is a very tortured, manipulative, conniving person… He gloms only Edward because, obviously, he wants someone who understands him and also [who] he feels safe with. But his way of dealing with that is to kill Edward’s girlfriend! You know what I mean?” (RIP Isabella - you looked exactly like Kristen Kringle, and it was weird. Are we going to get into that,Gotham writers, or nah?) “This is the person that we’re dealing with here. I want to be sure that context is constantly understood when you see him go forward, especially his relationships with Edward and other people that are coming in season four.” Speaking of season four, Oswald’s taking the lesson that Nygma taught him—that loves makes you vulnerable—and running with it. Taylor admits, though, that as a philosophy “you can’t sustain that… Somebody’s going to come into his path that is going to change his idea of how he should behave and how he should act. That happens in this season.”

So… probably no lovey-dovey endings for Os and Ed, then. No worries. That’s what fanfic is for.

Other season four tidbits: Lee Thompkins (geek royalty Morena Baccarin) is “going to go through a major change this year and really break out of [being] the romantic foil of Jim [Gordon, played by Ben McKenzie] to become her own presence in Gotham City… She’s a badass bitch.” And Poison Ivy, played now by Maggie Geha, will be the Luke Skywalker to Oswald’s Yoda in the world of organized crime. “She wants to have her own agency and be in control of herself… She doesn’t have any interest in being a good person, being a righteous person. She’s like, ‘Yeah, show me the nasty stuff. Show me how to get things done the way you do them.’”

Finally, Taylor spoke about LGBT representation on Gotham in a more general sense, noting that—for all Gotham City is an awful dystopia in many ways—there are other ways “in which it is actually a utopia. In our show, never ever once in Gotham City is anyone discounted because of their race or their sexuality.” (Oswald isn’t the only queer characters on the show, Barbara Kean [Erin Richards] and Tabitha Galavan [Jessica Lucas] having engaged in an on-again-off-again relationship of their own. Renee Montoya [Victoria Cartagena] was a character in season one but hasn’t been heard from in years.) “In that way, Gotham City is almost exemplary. It’s a place where horrible, horrible shit happens, but fundamentally every human being is treated equal.”

If everyone in Gotham City’s OK with the wide, varied spectrum of human sexuality, the same cannot be said of people in our world. Though Taylor affirms that most of the comic book community is very accepting, he nurses a particular irritation for those who reacted negatively to his character’s sexuality on some hella specious grounds. Monologue presented in its entirety:

“People would be like, ‘I love you. I love your character. I just hate that they made the Penguin gay, not because I don’t like gay people, but because it’s not canon.’ And I’d be like: “Fuck you.” It’s not canon?! OK, excuse me! You’re watching our fucking show. When ever did Bruce Wayne and Catwoman hang out when they were tweens? You have a problem with that? No? Oh, OK. Did you have a problem when the Joker killed Batman’s parents in the first Tim Burton movie? Oh, no, you didn’t? Both of these are not canon issues. What’s the outlier here? Oh, it’s a queer storyline. OK, thank you so much, really glad to know that you’re homophobic. Actually, I am glad to know that. I like to know when people are homophobic and they’re completely missing the mark and are completely blind to their own prejudice. ‘It’s not because I don’t like gay people. It’s because it’s not canon.’ Are you kidding me with this canon shit?”

Can I get that printed on a t-shirt?

#Gotham #Oswald Cobblepot #Robin Lord Taylor

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sandyferal · 7 years

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Heat between us

Just a Lego Batjokes fanfic (idk if it takes place in the legoverse or what)

Might be stupid and out of character but please give it a chance!

"Is that everyone?“

Batman stood in front of the flaming building, inspecting the people he had just heroically rescued from the fire. Usually he wouldn’t be doing something like this, but Barbara had asked him to do more around the community than just fighting crime and she said things like this would be a good place to start. Robin stood at his side, holding several animals that he had pulled out of the building.

"I think I saw someone on the 5th floor!” Said one of the bystanders.

"Dad, I can go get them!“ Robin said eagerly.

"No, I got this,” Batman said, reaching for his grappling hook. “You just find something to put out this fire. I’ll be back in a minute.”

With that Batman swung up to the 5th floor and burst in through the window, sending glass flying everywhere. For a minute he looked around, trying too find anyone. Then he heard the familiar voice, not addressing him, but calling out.

“Harley!”

Batman moved towards the voice, realizing how much he regretted going into a fire with his outfit on. He was sweating a great deal in the heat that pressed in on him in waves, and though he wouldn’t admit it he could feel fatigue starting to grow. Finally he found the source of the voice.

"Joker!“ Batman said, readying himself for a fight despite his discomfort.

Joker turned, clearly surprised to see his enemy there.

"Batman? What are you doing here?”

"Um, I’m here to stop the building fire and save people duh.“ Batman looked at Joker suspiciously. “So did you do this?”

"Well,“ Joker’s eyes darted around for a second. "I mean there was this whole elaborate plan I had, but yeah I did accidentally set the building on fire in the process.”

"Accidentally?“ Batman said sceptically. "How do you accidentally set a building on fire?”

"It’s easier than it sounds ok?“ Joker said defensively.

"Whatever,” Batman made to grab him. “Let’s get you out of here and back to-”

"Wait!“ Cried Joker before Batman could touch him. "Harley is still in here somewhere, I can’t leave her!”

The heat was getting to Batman, his thoughts were muddled by all the noise and discomfort and he didn’t want to stay in her longer then he had to. But he guessed he couldn’t just leave Harley here to burn, he was a hero after all.

"Fine!“ Batman snapped. "I’ll help you get her, then you’re under arrest.”

Joker made no arguments and instead the two of them started searching through the building for Harley. After a minute of two Joker started to panic. The building was starting to collapse and they still hadn’t found her. At long last, Joker’s cries were answered by a:

"Mistah J!“

The two men rushed to the voice, but in their hurry they didn’t notice something in the corner of one of the room. Joker reached a door and pulled it open to reveal Harley. The two embraced and turned back just in time to see the explosion behind them.

…

Everything was fuzzy, Batman couldn’t remember what was going on. He only felt pain. Pain and… heat.

Heat! He remembered the burning building now. And the Joker… The Joker was there. In fact as his vision cleared he could see the Joker was right in front of him. Why wasn’t he doing something about that? He should do something but when he tried to move the pain intensified.

Now his hearing was starting to come back. The Joker was saying something to him.

"Bats, are you ok? Please, please tell me he’s OK.” Then he noticed that Batman was looking at him. “You’re awake! Are you hurt, can you get up?”

"What- what are you doing?“ Batman asked.

Joker was doing something around his middle. He could feel a rubbing feeling where his pain was most intense.

"You’re bleeding, I’m just trying to slow it down.” Joker said, tying something around Batman’s middle

Batman winced as pain came back. Inside his head he was panicking sightly. He hadn’t felt this helpless in a long time and it made him angry. What he wanted was to feel some kind of control.

Now he felt himself lifted up, first on one side then on the other. He looked around. Harley and Joker were carrying him through the building.

"Why are you helping me?“ Batman asked.

"You’re my greatest enemy, what would I do if you died?” Joker said

The statement triggered a realization for Batman. He frowned and looked at Joker.

"Joker we haven’t actually fought for months.“

At that moment there was a crash in a room next to them. The door opened and Robin and Barbara burst in with a hose hooked up to a large blaster. Harley, Joker and Batman ask for a face full of water before Robin realized they were there.

"Padre!” Robin cried.

He ran towards Batman and gave him a large hug. This caused Batman to let out a small cry. Robin let go quickly.

"Padre?“

"He’s bleeding bad.” Joker said. “Should probably call an ambulance.”

"I’m on it!“ Robin ran out of the room.

"I’m fine really.” Batman said with a groan.

"No you’re not.“ Barbara said. "Come on let’s get you out of here. And don’t think you two are going anywhere.”

The group exited the building. When they reached the ground Harley and Joker set Batman down. While Barbara went to work putting the rest of the fires out in the building, taking Harley with her, Joker sat quietly next to Batman.

With the heat gone and his head clearer, Batman realized how odd the Joker was acting. He was being so quiet and tame, and not even in a wierd suspicious way. It was unsettling.

“What’s up with you?” Batman asked.

“What? Oh nothing…” Joker said. “You’re going to be OK right?”

“You know you seem awfully concerned.” Batman said suspiciously.

“Well, I did that to you.” Joker gestured at Batman’s injury. “Not directly but still. I mean I’ve been fighting you for so long, but I didn’t think I could hurt you. Nothing ever does.”

“Yeah well, don’t expect this to happen often. I mean this is wierd, we’re not even acting like enemies right now.”

“And you were right. We haven’t fought in a long time” Joker said. “Even though we’ve still seen each other.”

“Y'know it’s almost like you don’t hate me.” Batman said quietly.

Joker blinked. Then he turned to Batman his eyes wide.

“What?”

“It’s almost like,” Batman continued. “You feel the opposite of hate towards me, like you…”

“Like I love you??” Joker asked, sounding like he was amazed at the idea.

There was a silence between for a minute. This was actually unexpected. Batman had expected Joker to deny it right away but wasn’t. Batman glanced at the Joker who was turned away. Even through his makeup it could be seen Joker’s face was turning pink.

Now Batman was starting to get embarrassed. Did Joker love him? Under his cowl he could feel his face heating up. This time it wasn’t because of the fire.

“I actually never thought about-"

He didn’t know why he did it, maybe the heat really had gotten to him, maybe it was blood loss, or maybe he just couldn’t stand the tension, but Joker never finished his sentence because Batman’s lips were suddenly pressed against his.

It wasn’t long, but it wasn’t quick either. And when it was over Batman immediately regretted it. Why had he done that? Batman didn’t kiss people, especially his greatest enemy. But still he was interested, how would Joker react to this?

There was a few seconds where Joker was stunned, then finally he uttered one quiet word.

"Oh.” A smile spread across Joker’s face, and he clutched at his head with his hands. He uttered a louder and more excited “Oh!” and looked at Batman.

Batman’s eyes darted around. “Nobody saw that right?”

“No Bats, your secrets safe with me.” Joker said, still grinning widely.

“Stop looking at me like that!” Batman said, his face heating up intensely. It was now pink from the blood that had rushed up into his cheeks.

Before either of them could say anything else they heard the wail of an ambulance approaching. Robin had returned and brought the ambulance with him.

“I brought an ambulance!” Robin said. “You’ll be ship-shape in no time!”

“Uh, thanks but I don’t think I need-” Batman paused. Robin was staring at Batman’s face with a puzzled expression. “What are you looking at?”

“Well it’s just,” Robin touched his own lips. “You’ve got something red on your lips Padre.”

Batman’s eyes widened and he shot a look at Joker, who wasn’t meeting his gaze but was still smiling.

#lego batman #lego robin #lego batjokes #lego joker #lego barbara gordon

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totally-incorrect-theatre-quotes · 4 years

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Sick Day (fanfic)

While the votes were very close the sick day prompt won out last night, and I was kinda grateful because I had already started writing some of it before I got most of the votes. I’m sure you guys were looking for something more fluffy since my last fic was nothing but sadness and while I delivered some what this is still gonna be kinda sad, but I promise it has a sweet ending! I’m not sure if I’ll post this one to Ao3 but we’ll see :)

TW: sickness, mentions of death, mentions of Nosocomephobia

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The one thing that makes getting the flu even worse is getting the flu during spring break. No missing school because school is already out, so the days off just get wasted laying in bed with one stuffed up nostril, a pile of tissues sprawled on the bed, and the blankets half n and half off because it’s somehow both too hot and too cold. Lydia didn’t get sick often, but when she did it was never fun. Two days before she had felt a fever coming on but decided not to say anything because she still wanted to hang out with Wendy that night, but the next morning she woke up shivering and turns out she had a temperature of one hundred and two. Not the end of the world, but to say Lydia was annoyed was an understatement. Growing up her dad was always paranoid about germs, something Lydia thankfully didn’t inherit, but she still didn’t want to deal with him, lovingly, quarantining her. She took the thermometer, wrapped herself in a blanket, and went to seek the guidance of the ghosts. Ghosts can’t get sick, so they should have nothing to worry about.

Barbara instantly pulled Lydia over to the couch while Adam ran around frantically trying to think of what sick people need, even though all Lydia asked for was a drink of water and maybe some Tylenol to bring her fever down. She ended up with a bowl of chicken noodle soup, slippers, about four different kinds of flu medication, and a cold compress. The first night she just slept on their couch, begrudgingly comfortable as a result of all the stuff Adam brought up to the attic. She would wake up every hour or so feeling crappy but she did get some sleep that night, hoping that maybe she was just tired and not actually sick, she read that online somewhere before. Unfortunately, when she woke up the next morning she definitely was still sick and it was not getting better as quickly as she would have liked. Her throat was all scratchy, she had a terrible headache, and she felt her body burning up under the blankets. She kicked the blankets off her and winced when her warm feet touched the freezing cold ground, she forgot that the Maitland’s couldn’t really feel the temperature so it was always a guess if it would be a sauna or the arctic up there. She coughed into her arm and shuffled downstairs to grab something small to eat, even though she was sick to her stomach she knew that she couldn’t take any medicine on an empty stomach. She managed to eat about half a piece of toast before feeling like she was going to puke, and she quickly swallowed down two pills. She sat down at the table with her head in her hands.

“Not feeling good?” Delia asked form behind her, Lydia simply groaned in response her throat too sore to even speak at this point, “Yeah I heard the flu was going around, I thought you got your flu shot though?”

She rolled her eyes not wanting to get into the debate of how the flu shot isn’t 100% effective and if she hadn’t gotten it she would be much sicker than she was right now. Instead, she just let Delia ramble on about what essential oils and crystals she thought might help ease the symptoms. It was almost soothing monotony as Lydia downed her second glass of orange juice hoping that maybe the extra vitamin C would destroy whatever virus was wreaking havoc on her immune system. Instead, it just made her stomach feel worse. By the time her father came down for the morning Lydia was almost passed out leaning on the table despite the fact she had just woken up maybe fifteen minutes before. Charles walked up to his unusually pale daughter and pressed the back of his hand to her forehead.

“Honey, you’re burning up.”

“I‘ve got a fever.” she mumbled, “Barbara thinks it’s the flu.”

Charles stopped dead in his tracks, he didn’t mean too but he couldn’t help himself from thinking about the past, and what signs he had missed, and now he was starting to overreact. This was a flu, people get the flu all the time, not every fever is a death sentence. Not every stomach bug is a sign of...he wasn’t going to let himself get sucked into it again. He didn’t want to frighten Lydia. Besides she knew as much about the whole ordeal as he did, if she thought something more besides a flu was wrong she would have told him. He forced himself to put on a sympathetic smile, “I’m sorry sweetheart, I hope you feel better soon. Will you be okay if I go to work?”

Lydia nodded knowing fully well that even when Delia and her dad went to work she still had the Maitland’s in the attic if she needed them. Her plan for the day was to either pass out on the couch or in her bed under all the blankets and preferably with her cats to keep her company so she didn’t feel obligated to make conversation. The first day or two of the flu was usually the worst, so she just wanted to sleep through it. She could see the look in her dad’s eyes though, he was worried about her. It would have come off to most people as fatherly or even endearing but to Lydia, it was nothing but a source of anxiety when her father worried about her like that. She sighed a breath of relief when he did eventually go off to work. She pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders, scooped up Cation in her arms and figured if Kraken was roaming somewhere around the house and would come join them whenever she saw fit. She had just about settled on her bed when her phone went off and she saw a text from her father asking if she was alright. She replied with a quick yes, hoping it would satisfy him for now, but she was rewarded with a series of four more texts asking if she needed anything, if she wanted to go to the doctor, if he should come home, and once more asking if she was feeling okay. Not wanting to fuel his compulsive questions but not wanting to make him even more worried she tried to reassure him that if something bad was happening he would be the first to know, she did also gave to his one question and requested some popsicles for her sore throat.

She put her phone on silent, started watching a movie on her laptop and drifted off to sleep after about forty-five minutes. She wasn’t sure if it was the fever or the flu medication she had taken but she had the strangest dream, and that was a statement coming from the girl who lived with ghosts, and had been to the underworld before. It was nothing out of the ordinary at first, she was at school but instead of all the uniforms being white button-up shirts and black plaid skirts/ black pants they were an ugly green and yellow color. The details were fuzzy but the dream ended with her math teacher marrying the Sandworm and somehow Lydia was the maid of honor. It was very confusing but also entertaining so Lydia was slightly annoyed when she was woken up by a particular demon whom she had forgotten she had promised to hang out with the afternoon.

“Sorry BJ, I can’t really hang out today unless your idea of hanging out was sitting on the couch and watching TV while I pretty much sleep the whole day.”

“What the hell is wrong with you kid? You look like you saw a ghost.” BJ laughed very hard at his own joke and even though she was super out of it she still had it within her to fake gag at his lame attempt at comedy.

“I’m sick.”

“Well, that’s pretty pathetic. I were you and I was still a living human I simply wouldn’t be incapacitated because of some bitch-ass virus Like RIP to you but I’m different.”

“You’re also already dead and didn’t you live like during the black plague?”

“And that sure as hell didn’t kill me. It would take a lot more so some dumb virus to take me now.”

“I think the plague was bacterial,” Lydia replied, straining her voice to argue with him. Under no circumstances would she not argue with Beetlejuice.

“Same difference,” he waved his hand dismissively, “Anyway since you aren’t going to be any fun today while you milk this fake illness I’m going to go bug the Maitland’s. And while you’re at it...can you tell that bastard cat of yours to stop staring at me? It gives me the creeps.”

“Don’t be a jerk, Kraken loves you!” Lydia snapped defensively, pulling her cat up and presenting it to BJ, “She’s just a baby…”

“Look, there’s only room for one bastard in this house and that role is already taken.” BJ glared once more at the cat who seemed utterly indifferent to the presence of the demon. He walked through Lydia’s door but just to be a prick when he was outside of it he opened it partway and flipped her off. Grumbling Lydia got up to shut the door, hoping she’d be able to fall asleep again. She couldn’t, her cough was getting worse and it was making it impossible to lay down comfortably without feeling like she couldn’t breathe. She had to compromise and sit up in bed with her pillows stacked up behind her. She watched the clock with an almost obsession counting down the minutes before she could take another dose of the cough medicine and get some kind of relief from the symptoms. By the evening it felt as though she had been hit by a bus. Her muscles ached, she could hardly keep her eyes open, and her whole body felt like it was on fire. Barbara had tried to make her something for lunch but she could only manage a few bites before pushing the rest of it away, even the smell making her feel like she was going to throw up.

“Maybe you should see a doctor when your dad gets home.” Adam suggested, “Not much they can do for the flu but maybe the can give you something stronger for your cough just so you can get some sleep tonight.”

“I’ll be fine!” Lydia snapped a little too harshly, “I’ll be fine, it’s just the flu. I don’t need to go to the doctor.” Adam backed off and left Lydia alone in her room. She couldn’t stop shivering even though she was boiling under the blankets. Her teeth clattered against each other and she felt a dizzying pressure building up in her forehead and sinuses. The hours in the day seemed to drag on with cruelty, she tried to distract herself with videos on her phone but she couldn’t keep focused on them long enough. She wanted to sleep but every time she was about to drift she would need to cough or her stomach would get upset, or her head would start pounding. She would alternate between her bedroom and the attic but nothing was comfortable. By the time her father and Delia got home from work Lydia was huddled out on the couch, her knees tucked into her chest and she was muttering feverishly in her half-awake half-asleep daze.

Charles rushed over to Lydia and his heart sank down to his stomach as images of Emily flashed through his head. He felt Lydia’s forehead and quickly grabbed the thermometer to check her temperature. He was devastated to read out that Lydia had a temperature of one hundred and three. Instantly fearing the worst he shook Lydia awake and told her that they were going to the hospital.

“Wait, what?” Lydia mumbled, still not completely aware

“The hospital, you’re burning up. You look like you’re about to faint, come on get your coat and shoes on. Can you walk?”

“Can I wh-? What are you talking about, of course, I can walk. Dad for god sake I have the flu. I feel like crap but I am not dying!” Charles tensed at those words and Lydia glared at him, shakily standing up with the blanket still draped around her shoulders

“Lydia, you’re not making sense. Please, just for me. Can we just please go to the hospital, I’m worried about you.”

“Dad you’re being ridiculous right now! You’re always worried about me!”

“I’m your father! It is my job to worry about you, now can you please get in the car so I can take you.” He was begging her at that point, he didn’t know what overcame him and Lydia wasn’t sure why she was so opposed. She felt awful, a fever at high was not a good thing, she logically knew that there was nothing wrong with going to a doctor but some part of her was shouting at her not to. She felt tears welling up in her eyes and she didn’t understand why, she wasn’t upset she was annoyed. She was annoyed at him for being so overbearing. Charles noticed this and went over to her, she slumped into his arms just taking in the much-needed hug. Lydia just kept repeating that she didn’t want to go to the hospital, and he nodded, “Okay, okay no hospital alright? But can we please go to the doctor or the urgent care? Honey, I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

After a brief and silent car ride Lydia was sitting in the urgent care waiting room with a mask over her mouth and nose to keep her from contaminating anybody else in the waiting room. It was already dark outside and Lydia leaned up against her father’s shoulder while they waited to be called back. She stared blankly at the wall trying to ignore the fact he was staring at her, even though we was pretending to scroll through his phone. He had one arm wrapped around her, rubbing her shoulder comfortingly and while she wanted to be stubborn and pull away she really did find comfort in him holding her. He was never unaffectionate while she was growing up, he would give piggyback rides and carry her, and hug her but he was slightly more distant since her mother had died, any kind of affection she got from him was cherished, even if she wanted to be a sullen teenager.

“Deetz?” the male nurse called out

Charles helped steady Lydia while they walked into the examination room. They took her temperature and Charles explained a list of symptoms after Lydia tried too but couldn’t speak as clearly as she was trying to. The nurse scribbled some notes down, swabbed the inside of Lydia’s mouth and said that the doctor would be in shortly

“Man they take you from one waiting room to another huh?” Charles tried to joke in an attempt to ease the tension. Lydia was having none of it and she kept her eyes down on her phone while she was ranting to Barbara about how annoyed at her father she was. Though Barbara quickly proved to not be the ideal ranting partner in this situation so she turned to BJ who she knew would always agree with her no matter was as long as he got to complain too. After another twenty minutes of waiting the doctor came in holding a sheet of paper in her hands, “Bad news, you definitely have the flu young lady. Luckily it looks like it’s a mild strain even though I know it sure doesn’t feel like it huh? I’m going to prescribe you something to help you with that cough and something to work on killing the infection. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Lydia was about to shake her head no when Charles interjected, “Are you sure it’s just the flu?”

“Pretty positive, flu swabs are fairly accurate why?”

“But you’re sure it’s not something else, like something I don't know..” “He wants to know if you think I have cancer.” Charles jolted his head and looked at Lydia with such disbelief that she had to scoff, “Don’t act so shocked dad, that’s what you want to know. You want to know if I have what mom had.” She turned her attention back to the doctor and in her strained and scratchy voice, she said, “My mom she had non-Hodgkins lymphoma and apparently she started out with just flu symptoms too, she died. He’s worried that I’m going to die too, so can you just tell me if I do or don’t have cancer?”

Stunned the doctor fumbled a response, “Mr. Deetz Lydia has the flu. I am truly sorry for your loss and while I cannot say for absolute certain without doing blood tests I am fairly confident that Lydia simply has the flu. She doesn’t have any of the other tell-tale symptoms of the condition that your wife had. Now, do you have any other questions?”

“Yeah can I go home now?” Lydia demanded

The whole ride back home Lydia sat with her arms crossed and her head leaned against the car window. Her father wouldn’t talk to her, she wouldn’t talk to him. It was obvious to everybody else that something happened between them the minute they walked in the door. Lydia instantly went towards the stairs but Charles went after her, insisting that they need to talk. She waved her hand and slammed her door shut, complaining that she didn’t feel good and wanted to go to bed. She didn’t lock the door though, she knew it made everybody in the house angry if she locked the door when they were fighting. They respected not to come in if she didn’t invite them, but the rule was not door locking. She curled back up on her bed, cuddling with a chatty Kraken who was already lounging on her mattress. Within thirty seconds there was a knock at her door, and she threw her pillow at it in response.

“Lydia we need to talk about this, we need to talk about what you said at the doctor today.”

“What I said?” She laughed shaking her head, “Just come in dad, I know you’re not going to go away until you do and I feel like shit and want to go to bed so let’s get this over with.”

Charles cautiously opened the door and sat down on the edge of Lydia’s bed, mindful of the collection of tissues and bottles accumulating throughout the room. Having felt better since taking the medication the doctor prescribed she sat up in her bed and looked at her dad, waiting for him to scold her for behaving like a child in the doctors. She wouldn’t deny it, she acted very immaturely but she was so sick of how he was treating her that day.

“Can we talk about it?” she questioned, “That’s what you wanted isn’t it?”

“I wanted to say I was sorry, Lydia. I know that I probably made things a lot worse for you. I know you aren’t feeling good and I didn’t mean to scare you with the whole...anyway it doesn’t matter the details. I shouldn’t have overreacted when you told me it was the flu, I trust you to know your body. I just don’t know what came over me, seeing you looking so sick and pale, it had me terrified. I just couldn’t imagine losing you too.”

“Dad I’m okay.” she tried to explain, “I’m fine.”

“I just, I don’t understand why you got so worried when I suggested you go to the hospital, you had a really high fever. Lydia, I understand that our relationship is going to require a certain give and take but when it comes to safety I think we need to make some more compromises. I was probably jumping to conclusions when I thought the worst but even the nurse was concerned when he saw how high it was, we should have gone to the hospital.”

“I didn’t want to go to the hospital.”

“But I don’t understand why.”

“Yes, you do! And it kills me that you can’t understand it, you think it scares you when you see me getting sick and having the same symptoms mom did, imagine how I feel! I am terrified any time I get a cold or I have a stomach bug or even a bad headache because I worry that the same thing that happened to mom is gonna happen to me. I know there’s a genetic link, it’s not a high one but it scares me too dad but the thing is you’re supposed to be the calm one. You’re supposed to be the one convincing me it’s just the flu and that I’ll be okay in a few days, I shouldn’t have to convince not only me but my father too. Any time I’m sick I dread telling you because I know exaclty how you’re going to react. That’s not good dad! It’s making me afraid to come to you and god forbid I do get sick like that how long am I going to unintentionally ignore the symptoms because I’m afraid to tell you! I don’t want to go to the hospital dad because I’m afraid I might not come back, and I know that’s crazy. I know I’m being dramatic but that’s what happened with mom. She was fine one day and the next day you’re driving me to the hospital and she tells me she has maybe a few weeks to live? Can’t you get why I might not like hospitals so much anymore?” Lydia was trembling slightly now weak from the flu and the medication she was on, “There’s a line in the sand dad, there has to be because the worst part about being sick right now is that you looking at me like you might blink and I’ll be dead. Do you no understand how stressful that is?”

He bowed his head, “Lydia I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you but it’s been so hard since Emily died to not go right to the worst-case scenario.”

“And I do the exact same thing, but the difference dad is that I’m your kid. I need you to have a level head about this, and I don’t mean to just attack you because you all kind of do it. You all smother me with attention when I’m sick or hurt, I love you all but it’s suffocating sometimes when all I need is to stay in bed and take some Tylenol.”

“I’m sorry, I’m going to try harder to be better about it, alright? I promise, but I need you to promise me that you won’t hide things from me. Your mom tried to mask the signs, tell me she was okay, and not that it would have saved her but you can’t lie to me alright? We’re in this together, okay?”

Lydia nodded and hugged her father, rubbing at her eyes both in fatigue and in an attempt to clear away the tears welling up in her eyes. For the rest of the night, she and Charles sat in the living room wrapped in blankets, watching reruns of old movies on the television. Lydia burrowed her head the crook of his arms and eventually dozed off into the first peaceful sleep she managed to get that day. Though he was incredibly uncomfortable in that position he just relished in the closeness he felt in that moment. He couldn’t help but to remember when Lydia was small and he and Emily would spend hours trying to soothe the fussy baby, both of them completely exhausted when she would finally fall asleep but neither of them able to look away from the tiny human they had created. She was so grown up now, so funny and intelligent, wise beyond her years, but despite all of that when he looked down at his sleeping daughter’s face he could still see that little baby he cradled all those years ago.

#lydia deetz #delia deetz #adam maitland #barbara maitland #charles deetz #lawrence beetlejuice shoggoth #presley ryan #sophia anne caruso #dana steingold #leslie kritzer #kerry butler #rob mcclure #alex brightman #incorrect beetlejuice quotes #beetlejuice #beetlegeuse #beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice fanfic #beetlejuice fanfiction

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neverisalongtime-ja-blog · 7 years

Text

Chapter 10: Celebrity status

Hello fanfic lovers and Klinghoffer lovers and Joshan lover!

I hope you all are having a lovely week! To top that here is chapter 10 of this story. I reeeeally hope you like it and don’t forget the feedback!

There is a reference in this chapter of a interview Josh had at Lollapalooza, so if you find it, tell me!

Remember to follow Anastasia on Instagram because is cute!

Anastasia_Truman

Much love to you all! ❤️️

---------------------------------

Read chapter 9

- You are going to drive from New York to Chicago? – Mandy asked her friend, Anastasia, through the phone – You realize that it’s an almost thirteen hour trip? Right?

- I know. Josh and I will take turns at the wheel – Anastasia answered.

- That is a totally unnecessary thing to do – Mandy replied.

- It’s going to be fun. A fun road trip.

- A day before a concert! A huge concert! You are going to be tired!

- I won’t. I promise!

- Anyway, I heard that Jacob is going to Lolla too! He is traveling from London with Mark and Steph!

- I haven’t seen Stephanie in years – Stephanie was Mark’s (Anastasia’s brother) long time girlfriend.

- Yes! It’s going to be like a family thing. I can imagine that Barbara is going to be there as well.

- She hasn’t spent a single night here in the room. I haven’t even seen her actually.

- Well, divorces can be really hard, you know. Unless Anthony Kiedis is your best friend, that way you forget about your ex real quick.

- You are insane! I gotta go. I’ll call you when I arrive to Chicago; I think you’ll be there already by that time.

- Have a safe trip! – Mandy said before hung the phone.

Josh had the idea of driving to Chicago and Anastasia though it was crazy at first but then though it was going to be a good thing to create some kind of bond with him.

- Did you bring music? – Josh asked before starting the engine of the rented black Hyundai SUV.

- I grabbed everything that was in my laptop. That includes a bunch of 90’s pop, a lot of British indie rock, many of the crap I had produced for other people and every single song by Fleetwood Mac because Stevie Nicks is the entity for which I wake up every morning.

- Really? – He asked.

- I’ll do anything for Stevie.

- Well I’ll take Fleetwood and the British stuff.

They alternate between Anastasia’s and Josh’s flash disks, which had a lot of better tunes, so they drove with the most eclectic music choices anyone can possibly imagine.

- I have a doubt – Josh asked while they were listening to a British band called Franz Ferdinand, which was Anastasia’s choice – You are British, right?

- Yes, I was born in Chelsea, I think I told you.

- So where is your British accent?

- Well it disappeared. I’ve been living in LA for almost fifteen years, Josh. I am the most non-British British you can find.

- That sucks because I am a sucker for British everything.

- Well in that case I can be very British sometimes – They both laugh – I still visit London once a year, mostly at Christmas time. I do it for my father.

- Just for your father?

- The rest of the family members aren’t fans of me. It’s complicated. Everybody hates the outside-marriage children – Anastasia has another two sisters for her father’s side. Their mom was married to Nick when he cheated her with Anastasia’s mother.

- I’ve read a little bit about that.

- Did you Google me? – Anastasia said stoic.

- Well not like that. But there is a lot of information about you out there.

- Yes, mostly fake.

After singing every possible line to Fleetwood Mac’s songs and a few quick stops for gas and food the couple arrived to Chicago. The trip really helped both of them. They connected in a new level; they felt more comfortable in each other’s company. They finally drove to an exclusive hotel in the city where everyone was going to stay, Mandy and the boys were already there but Anastasia was too tired to do anything so she and Josh agreed on not telling anyone they had arrived and sneak to Josh’s room to get some sleep.

This time in bed was so different. They just slept, but sleeping together brought a whole different kind of intimacy than that of sex. The way Josh hugged her and buried his face on her neck gave Anastasia a solid base to assure her decision about this relationship, even if it wasn’t an official thing yet.

When Anastasia woke up it was already dark outside. She let Josh sleep and quietly left the room. She looked at her phone and saw around 12 messages and six missing calls from Mandy, the last text indicated that she was at the hotel bar with Barbara and Mark.

Once Anastasia walked through the bar door she saw her family and friends at a table to her left. Mandy was there, obviously next to Barbara and Mark who was hugging her girlfriend, Stephanie, with an arm and next to Mandy there was another man, when she got close she could see his face, it was Jacob her childhood friend from London, a short and really pale guy with piercing blue eyes and black short hair. The two had history together. Besides being the best of friends to this day, Jacob was Anastasia’s first everything, they tried to have a long distance relationship (Her in California, him in London) when they were around seventeen, but they were very young and dumb and with time they realized they loved each other more as friends than anything else. Even after that, their friendship/relationship was highly publicized in the British tabloids, he was a child actor at that time, and she was the trouble daughter of a very famous rocker. “A match made in hell” as one of the tabloids recalled.

Jacob was the first to get up and greet her.

- You haven’t changed a thing – He said giving her a tight hug.

- I won’t. I will never change – she answered.

- Wait until you are fifty, you’ll need Botox if you want to keep that baby face of yours – Barbara opined.

- Are you here for the festival? – Anastasia wanted to know.

- Yes! And I’m gonna start to film a movie in New York in a couple of weeks so I decided to come early and that way I could see you! I missed you!

- I missed you too! But we Skype like once a month, Jacob.

- It’s not the same – Mandy said suddenly – Where is Josh by the way?

- Sleeping.

- How do you know that Josh is sleeping right now? – Mark asked surprised.

- Oh… Don’t you know? – Mandy said – It happened – Mark didn’t have to say a thing. He understood what Mandy was saying. He started to laugh.

- Steph! It’s so amazing to see you again – Anastasia said changing the subject of the conversation.

Stephanie, tall with light brown hair and pale skin was Mark’s long-time girlfriend. They had been together for around 10 years; she was undoubtedly a part of the family. More than that, she was a great and close friend for Anastasia. Unlike with Jacob, they Skype at least twice a month.

- So you have a boy? – Steph asked with a heavy accent while Anastasia took a seat between her and Jacob.

- More like a grow ass man – Mandy said from the other side of the table.

- We are just getting to know each other – Anastasia said to Steph.

- You’ve known him for more than five years – Mandy said.

- Yes but not this way – Anastasia said to Mandy – He is one of Mark’s friends – she said looking to Stephanie again.

- Oh! Do I know him?

- I don’t know – Mark said – I think we saw him once in London. You will remember him when you see him, the guy is quite unforgettable.

- And that is the Josh effect: nobody can forget him – Mandy said laughing.

- You didn’t tell me about this – Jacob said suddenly.

- It’s pretty recent – Anastasia answered – I still don’t know if I want a real and long term relationship with him. So when I’m ready to tell you I will.

The night went by catching up with Stephanie and Jacob. Anastasia was happy to see him. Jacob had always been a great support to her. When all the disaster with Valentine happened he flew all the way from London to Los Angeles just to be with her. They didn’t feel a romantic nor sexual connection between them, but a strong friendship was definitely there. Since the tabloid mess when they were teenagers happened, all their encounters somehow ended on the news and social media, a thing Anastasia hated and which had been a good reason for not seeing him so often.

Anastasia though that Josh must have slept the entire night through the next day because she didn’t have any information about him, even at the festival.

The band got early to the show location for all the interviews they had to do. Mandy and Anastasia always did most of the press schedule, but this time they all had to do the same job. Around three in the afternoon Anastasia met with Barbara to go to the Chili Peppers trailer. They opened the door not knowing that Josh was inside in the middle of an interview, they excused themselves and ran to the next door. She could see Josh smiling at her because of the situation.

Only Flea and Anthony were in the trailer.

- A journalist just said that Mandy and I are the female version of you two and I can’t feel more satisfied with myself right now – Anastasia said to Anthony and Flea.

- It’s not far from the truth – Flea said – I mean we all kind of raised you so it’s logical that you have some of us in your attitude and in the way you found Mandy, who complements you so well.

- Man, don’t I love you enough – Anastasia said – By the way, I think we just ruined Josh’s interview.

- Is it true that you two came driving from New York? – Anthony wanted to know.

- Yes. It was more fun than what I thought it would be.

- Is something going on there? – Anthony asked again and Anastasia just shrugged.

- Do you think something should happen? -Anastasia asked.

- Yes, damn it! -Anthony said and everyone laughed.

After a while they went outside again and spotted Josh talking to her brother, Nick, Eric and Jacob.

- So you two already met? – She asked approaching them and pointing to Josh and Jacob.

- Yes! Being the big Red Hot Chili Pepper fan that I am, I’m stoic – Jacob said.

- I still can’t believe you are here – Anastasia said hugging Jacob.

- I haven’t seen you on a stage in years, it was about damn time! – He smiled to her.

- We have to be ready in 30 minutes – Eric said.

- WHAT? – Anastasia screamed – I’m far from ready! I need to change.

- You better run – Nick said.

She did. She found Mandy and Steph on her trailer who helped her get ready. She did her hair and makeup and they helped her put on her outfit, a special one: black high-waisted fringed shorts, a black t-shirt with the word “Witch” in silver letters and velvet over-the-knee boots in blue. She and Mandy wore their quartz crowns, which were “their thing” and were ready to go.

Stephanie was dancing next to Barbara at a side of the stage while Jacob, Mark, Josh and Chad were enjoying the show behind them. The energy was at its highest that night and Dead Curse gave the best performance in months and so did the Chilies. Josh seemed happier on stage.

An after party awaited for them and Anastasia felt kind of bad at the end of the night because she set all her attention on Jacob, they even danced some songs like they used to in London when they were teenagers, while Josh just chatted with friends. But they both agreed on spending the night together so after a shower and a change into more cozy clothes she went to his room.

- You looked great on that stage tonight – He said to her while the two were sitting on a couch.

- Really? It was an amazing show, we sounded good as hell! – Anastasia said with enthusiasm – The Peppers did a great show too but that is an obvious statement.

- That guy, Jacob, seems fun – Josh said suddenly.

- I’ve known Jacob since we were eight years old. We were neighbors back in London. We always played together and our moms were friends, he has been a great support during my whole life.

- That’s good I guess.

- Since you’ve been Googling my name you must have read that we were in a relationship once, but that is in the past and we were never actually in a real relationship. At sixteen or seventeen you don’t even know what a relationship is.

- I haven’t Googled you – he said laughing.

- Why are you laughing then?

- Because it’s funny – Anastasia jumped on him and started to tickle him. Both were laughing badly when Anastasia’s phone rang.

It was a message from Mandy that read “They never get enough” and a link was attached. Anastasia knew what it was all about before she even opened it, but she did it anyways. Another pink website appeared with a report of her and Jacob all over each other in Chicago. She got frustrated and angry.

- When are they gonna stop? – She asked.

- What happened? – She handed the phone to Josh. He looked at it with the most stoic face expression – This sucks - His face now showed sadness – It’s the same thing that happened in the Netherlands for Pinkpop – He left the phone in a near table and got up the couch – I don’t feel comfortable with this Anastasia.

- You think I do? I’ve been working my ass off to have the lowest profile I can my entire life.

- Well you haven’t worked hard enough – Anastasia looked into Josh’s eyes not believing the words that had come out of his mouth.

- Excuse me? – He didn’t repeat them – Well I’m sorry if my last name brought this entire load which I cannot get rid of. It’s not like I’m a fucking Kardashian either, Josh.

- I just don’t like the exposure.

- I don’t like it either! – Anastasia was raising her voice – My last name has brought me great things and fame is a price I didn’t ask to pay. I stopped doing all the stupid shit I did when I was a teenager, I stopped talking to a bunch of people because I didn’t like a fucking camera lens in my face anytime I went out, I even stopped going to crowded places in LA, I don’t go to many red carpets anymore.

- I don’t feel comfortable with that aspect of your life. I had a taste of it in the Netherlands and I have the feeling it’s never gonna go away – After Josh’s words, Anastasia didn’t know how to act.

- I’m just gonna leave. I don’t really know how to handle this right now.

He didn’t stop her. She just left to her room with anger all over her system. Luckily for her she found Steph on the way to her room.

- Darling, what happened? – Anastasia saw her and started to cry. She was a tough cookie and not many things made her cry, but this situation got into her nerves. She couldn’t control what others wrote about her and she learned that after lots and lots of years in therapy. The fact that Josh wasn’t supportive and just decided to get rid of her because of such a dumb thing really broke her.

Stephanie helped her to get to her room and Mandy was inside.

- Oh God, An! – Mandy said and ran to hold her friend.

Once she was sitting in a bed, Anastasia told them about all the things that were said in Josh’s room.

- The thing is that I know how Josh is. I told Mark a long time ago: I have a lot of “Hollywood baggage” – Anastasia said wiping the tears from her face.

- But that does not justify Josh's behavior! – Steph said – When I started to date your brother, people said disgusting things too, especially fans all over the word, but that didn’t keep me from being with him because I loved him and I knew he loved me and that was all that mattered. He knows who you are and where you come from, he can’t expect things like this aren’t going to happen.

- Do you remember all the things that people said about you and Jacob? – Mandy said - And all the dead threats you received because people thought you were a couple? That was bullshit and you really learned from that. I know how much you’ve tried to keep a low profile, but the truth is, that is never going to happen, because of your last name and because of our band.

- Josh doesn’t understand that – Anastasia said – I hate this “Celebrity status”.

- All that should matter to him is that you are real, and that you are not in this business just because you want fame, because you know how shitty fame is. You are here because you love what you do and it’s important to you to express yourself through music, and if he can’t see all the light you radiate and the great aspects about you then he can go fuck himself – Stephanie said.

- The most stupid thing is that you are both angry for something you have in common: obsession with privacy – Mandy said and Anastasia felt gratitude for having people like them in her life.

Read chapter 11

#josh klinghoffer #joshklinghoffer #klinghoffer #redhotchilipeppers #red hot chili peppers #rhcp #fanfic #fan fic #fanfiction #fan fiction #joshan

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