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mysecretlittlelibrary · 1 year

Text

Make It Worth It

Pairing: Moonknight trio x Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: So many okay; body worship, HEAVY praise, multiple orgasms, oral (f,m receiving) unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it <3), creampie, hella petnames, fingering, kinda marking too, oh and cockwarming, a lil bit of a jealousy thing going, vague mentions of injuries

Genre: fluff & smut

Summary: The idea of you going on a date makes your friend confess feelings you didn't know they had

***

Meeting Marc Spector was something you'd consider a total fluke. A mishap with his suit had him limping down the street hardly able to hold himself up. Against... probably your better judgment, you brought him to your apartment- patched him up, got him some food, and let him crash on your couch. He was gone before you woke up in the morning and you honestly expected never to see him again. A couple of weeks later though he popped by to say thank you and introduce himself, you told him he could stop by if he needed help again. You didn't think he'd take you up on the offer but you were fast friends as you became his only confidante. Apparently, the vigilante life is not conducive to friendships, especially when you share your life with another; Steven Grant.

It was a while before Marc told you about Steven and you liked to call him Marc's best kept secret, considering Steven doesn't even know about it. It took even longer for you to meet Steven. Another mishap with Marc's suit had him frantically banging on your balcony door one night. You pulled open the door and he'd practically fallen into your apartment.

"Y/n! Hey!" He groaned.

"Jeez! I thought that stupid bird was meant to protect you Marc!" You crossed your arms.

"Help now, be mad later. Oh! And if I wake up and I'm not me, lie." He barely got the last bit out before he practically fell on you.

"Heavens above you still haven't told him the truth?" You groaned technically to yourself as you shoved a now unconscious Marc onto your couch. Even with him passed out you'd gotten more than enough practice patching him up that you had it so down that you were quick and efficient. He was out for quite some time afterwards, you even made dinner before he suddenly startled awake.

"Who are you? Where am I? What are you doing here?" The unfamiliar British accent immediately told you that night that Steven had woken up instead of Marc.

"Um- this is my apartment so that's where you are, I live here so that's what I'm doing here and my name is y/n. You're Steven right?"

"How did you know my name?" He'd looked at you suspiciously.

"I- I looked at your wallet for ID?" He does have his wallet on him so that lie was totally believable.

"Well why am I here?"

That was the question you were dreading from the moment Marc passed out on you.

"You were hurt so I brought you here."

"Hurt? Hurt how?"

"I- I didn't see it happen. You were hurt when I got to you." You shrugged. It wasn't technically a lie. You didn't see Marc get hurt. The answer seemed to satisfy Steven at the time but maintaining separate friendships with Marc and Steven wasn't something you wanted to keep up long term. Hence, with some gentle nudging, Marc eventually revealed himself to Steven and you ended up having to help the duo navigate the new dynamic.

However, where you thought Steven was Marc's best kept secret; a new player had him beaten. A secret so well kept Marc didn't even know until after you did. And his name was Jake Lockley. Meeting him had actually happened intentionally on his end. Apparently tired of watching the back and forth between you and his alters he stepped in to meet you himself. You'll admit you and Marc toed the line pretty much since you met, flirting with each other but not obvious enough to change your dynamic, and once Steven got comfortable with you it was only too fun to tease him. So in came Jake; the hidden protector, questioning you and ultimately deciding you were safe for them to be around. He even trusted you enough to facilitate his introduction to the other two. Now you've got the whole trio you can call friends and they often tell you how instrumental they consider you in maintaining stability in their shared life. You really enjoy having them around most of the time even with how chaotic it can be covering for, patching up, and keeping track of their system.

Tonight, while you're finishing your makeup for a date, you hear a knock from the living room. You're not expecting anyone right now so when you leave your room and find Moonknight on your balcony you're not exactly surprised. You open the door and the suit disappears as he walks into your apartment.

"What're you all dressed up for?" Marc asks taking in your outfit.

"Hello to you too Marc." You roll your eyes.

"Hello. What're you all dressed up for?"

"I have a date tonight." You say with a shrug heading back to your room knowing Marc will follow you.

"A date? What date? You didn't tell me about any date."

"I don't have to tell you about dates."

"Why wouldn't you tell me though?"

"It's a first date Marc I'm not getting married. You're making it a much bigger deal than it is."

"It is a huge deal. You haven't been on a date since we met!"

"Thank you for pointing out that Marc yes this is my first date in a while. Did you come here for a reason? Doesn't that bird of yours have errands for you?"

"I always come here when I'm done with Khonshu's stuff. This is why it's a big deal you didn't tell me about this date. It throws off our routine!"

"Marc you coming here to eat my food after running around for skelo-bird is not set in stone."

"It is set in stone. If it wasn't we wouldn't do it every time."

"Well it's still early, so when I finish my date I'll text you and you can come back over and your routine will be fine."

"That's not the same."

"I dunno what to tell you sweetie, I have to leave, I'm meeting this guy in like 10 minutes."

"Don't go."

"Marc!"

"Come ooon I'm way more fun than whoever this random guy is anyway."

"You don't even know him."

"Neither do you. So stay."

"Let me get this straight, you want me to cancel my first date in over a year because it's more important that we watch a movie while you eat leftovers? Call me crazy but I'd personally rank those a little differently."

"I want you to cancel your first date in over a year because I don't want you to go on a date."

"Okay I know we're close but I feel like that's crossing a line a little bit. That's not really up to you."

"Princessa, are you intentionally misunderstanding him?" Jake's sudden appearance only further confuses you.

"No Jake. I genuinely have no idea what the deal is here and at this rate, I'm going to be late so one of you better start talking straight."

"He's jealous. He doesn't want you going on a date with anyone that's not... us, really. None of us do."

"All of this is about a crush? Bring Marc back out here." You roll your eyes.

"Look I did not send Jake out here to speak for me!"

"You are such a dunce." You smack his chest lightly.

"What?!"

"You don't want me to go on this date because you three like me and you couldn't just say that?"

"I dunno I guess I just didn't want to risk what we've already got, as friends." He says sheepishly.

"Say the words."

"What?"

"Say exactly why you don't want me going on this date and I'll cancel."

"I don't want you to go on this date because I have feelings for you. Stay home. I can make it worth it in any way you ask."

"Any way that I ask?"

"I'll worship you like a god if you want me to."

"Won't that make that silly old bird of yours a little jealous?"

"Let him be if he is. All that matters is you not going on this date and me showing you my gratitude."

"Alright, I'll call and cancel the date."

"Don't bother. Who cares if he gets ghosted?"

"First of all, I'm nice so I care; secondly that's the shit that gets women stalked."

"Oh please, as if he'd ever be able to hurt you with us around." Marc scoffs.

"Okay, bodyguard. The call will take less than two minutes and you'll have my attention the rest of the night." You say grabbing your phone and stepping into the living room. You notice Marc following you as you call your date.

"Hello?"

"Lewis! Hi, I'm sorry to do this so last minute but something has come up and I'm not going to be able to make it to dinner."

"Oh. Is everything alright? Do you need anything?"

"Uh- thanks but I'll be fine! I just gotta take care of a thing and I didn't wanna leave you sitting there waiting."

"Yeah no, thanks for letting me know. We can reschedule."

"Sure! Soon as I get a handle on things I'll reach out to reschedule." You say, ignoring the look Marc gives you.

"Alright no problem. Good luck with your thing." Lewis says before hanging up.

"You aren't actually rescheduling with him, are you?" Marc asks you.

"Probably not." You shrug.

"Probably?!"

"I already canceled the date for you once."

"You making this hard for me on purpose sweetheart?"

"Not at all. Just not sure how things are gonna go." You smile.

"How things are gonna go? I'm gonna show you that canceling that silly date was the right idea and that you don't need anyone other than us."

"Us? Steven and Jake are in on this too?"

"Of course they are."

"Well, that's a big promise Marc, how do you plan to show me all of that?"

"I'm going to start by kissing you. Is that okay?" Marc asks, pulling you towards him with an arm around your waist.

"Absolutely." You say draping your arms over his shoulder. Marc's free hand comes up behind your head as he kisses you hard. You gasp against his lips and he uses the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. Without warning, Marc lifts you into his arms and easily carries you back to your room, not even phased when you pull away from the kiss to squeal. He tosses you onto your bed and climbs over you with a smile.

"You have no idea how crazy we are about you." Marc breathes out, trailing kisses down to your neck.

"Crazy about me? Is that right?" You ask, a moan punctuating your question as Marc latches onto a particularly sensitive spot to turn purple.

"Completely." He says softly, staring at you so intently you pull him towards you for another kiss to escape the look in his eyes. Marc pulls away to tug your already bunched up dress over your head, leaving you in your bra and panties as he looks you over. "Fucking hell you're even more gorgeous than I could've imagined." Marc groans.

"You spend a lot of time thinking about me naked darling?" You can't help but chuckle at the thought as you take the moment of silence on his end to pull his shirt over his head and drag your nails down his chest appreciatively.

"I plead the fifth." Marc groans and moves to litter your chest in more patches of red and purple as he reaches under you to unhook your bra. His hands cover your breasts as soon as they're free, palms kneading the flesh while fingers toy with nipples. The sudden onslaught of stimulation has little whimpers falling from your lips that Marc decides he can't get enough of. He pulls one of your nipples between his lips, sucking, nipping, and tonguing at it to test your reactions, discovering all the sounds you make from this alone. "You make such cute little noises." He chuckles switching from one nipple to the other, pulling all the same sounds from you. Eventually, Marc trails his kisses down your stomach, soft and slow, like he has all the time in the world. "So pretty." He whispers. He pulls your panties down your legs, kissing your thighs on the way down and back up. "I'm so going to enjoy this." Marc says before burying his head between your legs. He licks a hard stripe between your folds that makes you moan and his arms wrap around your thighs before you can even squirm. Marc's tongue swirls around your clit as he watches you, testing what pulls the best reaction from you. When a certain rhythm has your fingers tugging at his hair he settles into it, intent on making you cum like that. Whimpers and cries fall from your lips in quick succession as he sucks and laps at your sensitive bundle of nerves. You writhe and grind against him, although his grip on your thighs restricts your movement as he works you quickly towards an orgasm.

"Holy fuck Marc!" You groan, throwing your head back and pulling almost too hard at his curls but the man between your legs only lets out a pleased growl at the action. "Fuck I'm close." You pant out and Marc wraps his lips securely around your clit, sucking harshly until your legs tense and your orgasm crashes into you with a silent scream. Marc doesn't even let you fully ride out the high before his fingers slide into your opening. He curls the two digits just right and you can feel the pull in your abdomen when he brushes the spot inside you. Your back arches into him as he works you open with his fingers, his tongue still lapping at your clit, determined to pull another orgasm from you. Your second orgasm hits you faster than the first your entire body twitching while you let out the prettiest whine Marc's ever heard.

"My goodness." Although the voice is muted in your pleasure fogged brain, you don't miss the accent in his words.

"Steven?!" You blink at him, chest still heaving slightly as you try to catch your breath. His eyes are as wide as saucers as he takes in the situation he's just been thrown into.

"Hi. I can't imagine Marc did this on purpose I-" Steven's words trail as his head snaps to the mirror hanging on your closet door. "He did this on purpose." Steven looks at you and then back at the mirror. "Why would you do that Marc?!" You pull his gaze back to you by grabbing his chin,

"Steven, calm down." You say.

"Clearly I've missed a lot because how did you two even end up like this?" Steven asks and your giggle at his confusion quickly turns into a whimper when the action makes you distinctly aware of his fingers still buried inside you. "My god, help me." Steven breathes out at the sound from your lips. "If this was your act of gratitude why am I here?!" Steven asks to the mirror and you suppose Marc told him how you, in his words, ended up like this. Steven makes a face at whatever Marc says next and then turns to you with a look you can only describe as curious. Before you can question it, his fingers inside you move tentatively, making you moan. He's less sure of himself than Marc had been but he watches intently as he slowly strokes your inner walls, enjoying the way you react to him. "You're absolutely breathtaking."

"And you, are simply adorable." You say bringing him down to kiss him. Steven is obviously much more nervous than Marc was and you take the lead in the kiss. You can taste yourself on his lips as you explore his mouth with your tongue. It seems your reactions feed his confidence as his fingers gain speed the longer you kiss him and soon you're moaning too much to actually do it properly.

"I love the sounds you make." Steven sighs. You pull his fingers from you before he can make you cum again and he pouts at you until you guide the fingers between your lips. You suck them clean, enjoying the way Steven takes a shaky breath at the action. You use one hand to undo his jeans and pull them down his legs, pulling his fingers out of his mouth for him to get up and shove them the rest of the way down with his boxers. You lean forward and take Steven into your mouth, swallowing him down as far as you can.

"Oh god." Steven groans and his eyes roll as he tosses his head back. You bob your head up and down his length, swirling your tongue as you go, enjoying the way he moans and shivers.

"I love the sounds you make too darling." You hum dragging your tongue along the vein that runs the underside length of his dick. Steven hisses and you wrap your lips around him again.

"Holy hell you're... really good at this." Steven's praise is breathy and stuttery. You take him all the way into your mouth, feeling him in the back of your throat. Rather suddenly, you feel his fingers in your hair tugging you off of him.

"Now, it was my understanding that we were meant to be showing you gratitude." Your ears perk up hearing the accent change.

"Jake, yeah so I've been told." You hum.

"And yet here you are pleasing Steven instead of him worshiping you." Jake's thumb rubs along your bottom lip.

"Steven is just so much fun to tease." You smile.

"Tease him later princessa, tonight is about you. How lucky we are to have you in our life. How much of an honor it is to kiss you, to touch you, to please you." Jake intentionally speaks slowly, staring at you intently.

"You are... very good with words." You muse.

"Have our actions not supported them?"

"Marc definitely, and Steven- before I got my hands on him, yes. You however haven't done anything but talk." You smirk at him.

"Tell me what you want from me and it's yours. Anything you ask." Jake says.

"In other circumstances that would be... a dangerous promise to make. But tonight, I just want you inside me. I want you to make me cum on your dick."

"With pleasure." Jake pushes you onto your back and tugs your legs to pull you towards him. He wastes no time lining himself up with your entrance and thrusting into you. Your back immediately arches at the fullness of Jake bottoming out and you can't help but moan. "Fuck you're so wet." He groans dropping his head to your shoulder for a moment. Jake sets a rhythm of sharp thrusts, deep but quick.

"Sh-shit Jake! Feels so good." You whine, dragging your nails down his back. He hisses at the sting and his thrusts pick up speed.

"God y/n you're perfect. So gorgeous. Taking this dick like you were made for us." Jake huffs out. One of his hands reaches between your bodies, finding your clit with ease. You squirm against his ministrations moaning as he drives into you repeatedly. "That's it princessa, moan for me, sounds so nice." He grits out, rubbing circles against your bundle of nerves. You grind against him, trying to bring your orgasm on quicker. "Cum for me sweetheart, let me feel you let go around me. Please mi vida." Jake sweetly kisses you as he practically begs for your orgasm and a few thrusts later you're falling over the edge, nails digging into his back as he watches the way pleasure washes over your face. Once your eyes slowly peel open, Jake tightens his grip on your hips and changes the pace of his thrusts, slowing down now.

"You're gonna cum inside me aren't you Jake?" You ask with a pout specifically to get what you want.

"Mierda." Jake's eyes close for a moment. "Is that what you want princessa?"

"Yes Jake, please."

"I told you I'd give you whatever you ask me for." Jake shifts slightly before picking up the pace of his thrusts, they're sloppier now as he focuses on chasing his own release. "I'll pump you so fucking full, you'll be leaking. Fuck you'll look even prettier dripping like that."

"Please Jake, give it to me. Fill me up baby." You whine, grinding against him. His hips stutter and stop buried inside you and you the warmth of his orgasm inside you makes you moan. Before Jake can twist to lay beside you, you pull him onto you comfortable with the weight of him on you. "Don't move yet, let's just- lay like this for a bit, please." You say.

"Thank fuck you didn't go on that stupid date." Jake mutters and you giggle a little.

"Thank fuck you said something or I would've."

"Well, did we make it worth the stay?" "I'd say so." "Good. After a nap you can discuss the details, probably with Steven, he'll have the most to say." Jake mumbles into your neck.

"I'll have to talk to each of you ya know." You say.

"Sure but start with him. All I have to say is I think you're perfect, and we'd be lucky if you date us."

"You're not the only lucky ones." You say kissing the side of his face. Yeah. It might have been by pure chance that you crossed paths with Marc over a year ago but you're glad the rest of your decisions landed you here. Even if it's not the trajectory you saw that first interaction leading to, definitely worth it.

***

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rustingcat · 1 year

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"She pours it all into the dance, every moment of sexual tension she’s been desperately trying to hold back, letting her desire stretch and be matched and stoked by Kara’s. And it is matched – she can feel Kara’s longing enveloping her, caressing her like a physical touch with every severe beat they hit together."

From @jazzfordshire dancing with the stars AU

Ok, so I've been working on that one since ch7 was released, so almost 4 months now? Who knows, time is a weird soup. I originally wanted to do the dip at the end, but then I saw that and knew I had to make it supercorp.

For this sexy dance, I have exactly 69 frames of animation (a very happy coincidence), so with colour layer and highlights, it came about to 207 of individual drawn frames (not including editing). So it took me a bit longer than I thought it would, but totally worth it ;)

Thank you Jazz for this blessing of a fic!

Btw I do commissions: )

#I've been waiting sooooo long to post that one!#who knew animation takes so long??#ok i did but it was worth it #please go read this amazing fic!#im gonna go catch some sleep now #supercorp #supergirl #kara danvers #lena luthor #my art #my animation

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thoughtfullyrainynightmare · 10 months

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Hello, I'd like to request for fuegoleon, William, nozel, zora and Nacht where they hurt their s/O's feelings and make her cry? And just how guilty they feel, how they make it up, comfort their s/o and apologize. You can choose whatever they couldve said or done to make her cry I love anything you write they're all so good

If 5 characters is too much then just fuego, nozel and nacht would be fine please and thankyou❤️

Hello! Some hurt comfort is on the menu it seems, and I'm happy to oblige ^^ This ended up being a lot longer than I anticipated, but I hope it's worth the wait ^^

Pairings: Fuegoleon x f!reader, William x f!reader, Nozel x f!reader, Zora x f!reader, Nacht x f!reader

Fanfic type: Headcanons

Genre: Hurt-comfort

Length: about 0.75k each, 3.9k total

Warnings: Generally hurt-comfort, the guys snap at reader, all for reasons of their own, in Nozel's scenario the reader doesn't really know what kind of a person Nozel's dad is, Zora addresses reader as "babydoll", Zora calls himself as a "jerk ass", reader cries and the guys try to comfort in their own ways

Fuegoleon

He had had very taxing couple of months. The adverse the country was facing seemed to have no end in sight, and it felt that in terms of politics and finances the country was being pushed further and further into a corner, which took an immense toll on him emotionally.

And though a part of him wished that he could simply take a vacation and not worry about any of it, he knew it to be senseless. Quite simply because the same issues would wait him as he returned, and they would have further piled up, so taking a vacation would be counterproductive. But still he felt that his nerves were hanging by a thin thread, even if he considered himself as a patient man.

As he sat by his desk, you came through the door with a paper in hand.

“I made us a reservation to a restaurant,” you told him. “I thought we could take a nice evening off, have a date and just enjoy life,” you smiled, while presenting the reservation information to him.

“No thank you,” he said without looking up from the documents in front of him.

“But you need to have some time off as well,” you insisted while placing your hand onto his arm and tugging him slightly. “So I planned us a day where we can just do something w-“

“I can’t take a day off!” He snapped. “Surely a moment of peace and quiet would be pleasant, but there is too much to take care of for me to quite simply ‘take a day off’,” he continued.

And you… lifted your hand off of his arm, and took a step back.

You had intended to do something nice for him, because you had seen how strained he was and now he… wasn’t… feeling the sentiment. A part of you wanted to blame yourself because you had failed to read him and what he’d wish correctly, because wasn’t a spouse supposed to be able to do that?

There were a lot of emotions swirling around in you, but none of them were pleasant. And with it, tears begun climbing to your eyes with a burning sensation, only to roll down your cheeks.

Fuegoleon looked at you, and there was a gnawing, pricking ocean of guilt in his chest, because he knew that you had meant well. You had wanted to do something nice for him and make the situation at least a little bit more bearable.

“My love I’m…” he reached forward for you. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, but … I…” his gaze fell to the side as he spoke, feeling the weight of his words, spoken carelessly.

You didn’t shy away from him as he tried to get close to you again, because it wasn’t… that you didn’t understand him, and you could see the sincere apology and regret in his eyes.

“I’ll… I’ll try to take the day off…” he promised with something that sounded almost like a sigh, but really it was because he knew what it’d mean.

And you knew what it’d mean too. It’d mean sleepless nights, having less time during the next week or two for you two to spend together regularly, in place of that one day. It was a sacrifice he was willing to make, but it wouldn’t be worth it. You’d rather see him a little each day than not at all.

“No,” you shook your head with a faint tone while mirroring his movements and reaching for him. “We can… just have a moment, a short moment, in the evening to ourselves,” you said through your drying tears.

His eyes gathered that gentle undertone that was too beautiful for this world, as he placed his hand onto your cheek and brushed away your tears. “If that is what you wish,” he said with gratitude in his voice before he pressed a kiss onto your forehead.

You nodded as a reply, even if only faintly.

“I am sorry, my beloved,” he still repeated. “You’re the most important person in my life, and I don’t wish to impose any-“

“No, no,” you shook your head. “I get it. There’s a lot on your plate and I should have talked about your schedule with you before making reservations…”

“But your heart was in the right place,” he told you while placing his hand under your chin. “And that’s one of the reasons why I love you,” he admitted while lifting your chin, and placing another kiss onto your lips, warm, gentle and caressing, which washed away any shadow of doubt of his sentiments that might have been there.

William

The days had grown long, because of everything that was going on in the kingdom. And with the disappearance of Julius, it had gotten him thinking about what had happened after the whole ordeal with the elves. Which had made… something about the whole state of the kingdom hit too close to home with him.

Perhaps he was questioning being pardoned altogether, since it seemed that the one to pardon him, had taken a run for it. Or perhaps something more dire.

But if the only person to be willing to pardon him was someone like him, willing to look the other way when the kingdom was falling to its knees then…

It filled him with various emotions, all swirling and twisting and turning until he felt all of them trying to bubble to the surface, but he didn’t know which to let out first. How to let them out. Instead it felt like they were all stuck in his throat, just building, building, building up pressure so much that he might-

“Hey honey!” You greeted while entering through the door of his office, only to see him hunching over his own desk. “Oh did you eat something bad, or-“ you placed your hand onto his shoulder.

But he pushed it away. “Don’t touch me!” He ordered without as much as looking at you. And from his tone, you heard nothing but pain, hurt, and… you could have sworn… disgust… underlying it all… You could have sworn there to be contempt… in there…

You took a step back, pulling your hand to you and holding it with the other. As you couldn’t… imagine why… why would he have… Your sweet William…

His chest was heaving, and as his eyes lifted from the desk to you, the most prominent feelings you could se were fear and pain. The way they flickered, his purple eyes that were so gentle, flickered around as tears lined the corners of his eyes.

“Forgive me…” he whispered as his eyes turned to the side. “I didn’t… I just… Why did he pardon me? Some… solidarity from a villain to another?” His head swayed from side to side, as if trying to comprehend, but failed to do so.

“You’re… not a villain, Will…” you tried, because his reaction had… made sense. It wasn’t you he was trying to shoo away, it was his own emotions, but you sounded anything but convinced. Tears climbed to your own eyes.

You buried your face into your hands, and wept, from the shock of what had happened, his words, but also because you had understood where it came from. Because he was pained from the guilt of his past actions, and you felt his pain too.

He turned to look at you again, as he heard your sobs, and got up from the chair to make his way to you from the other side of the desk.

“I’m sorry… so, so sorry my little song bird…” he wrapped his arms around you, and pressed his head against yours, as his tears rolled down his cheeks, and onto you. “I’ll… make it up to you…” he pleaded. “Just don’t… please don’t… hate me, I… didn’t… wasn’t… I didn’t mean to….” His voice was faint, broken and defeated, and he swayed in place with you in his arms.

It sounded like he was repenting. Praying for forgiveness.

“I don’t hate you… Will,” you told him while wrapping your own arms around him. He was a broken man, and he had acted out of distress. Without intent to hurt you. Without intent to push you away.

He pressed a kiss onto your head as his embrace grew tighter. “I’m sorry,” he still whispered.

You nudged his head with yours, and whispered against his skin “we’ll make it through.”

Because you would. The two of you would. He wasn’t a bad man. He wasn’t a villain. It was simply that the guilt he felt got overbearing sometimes, which had caused him to call out in fear of what he thought about himself.

But he loved you, and you loved him. So, you could heal, together. You were certain about it, as you stood there, holding onto each other.

Nozel

Nozel had learned to deal with his family situation from a young age. Though ‘dealing with it’ had turned into something that seemed more like survival. Not that you could see it from the surface. Because, while looking from afar, without seeing into his eyes, his emotions, he was a calm sea. Vast and serene. Though something, someone to be revered and respected, because there was also harshness in the oceans.

But if you had the opportunity to peek under the surface, you’d see a twisting, turning vortex of guilt, pain, sorrow… fear… A lot of emotions one might deem ugly.

‘Unsightly’ he would describe them in himself. Because he couldn’t be any of those things. The Captain of the Silver Eagles, the First Born Son of the Royal House of Silva, couldn’t be any of those things. And thus… to him, in him, they were unsightly.

He didn’t talk about his childhood either. He didn’t talk about his parents, aside of his mother. Which, given the circumstances of her parting, made sense. He would talk about her more because of the fate she had faced.

You had been thinking about starting a family with him. You had talked about it in passing. And as you sat in the living room, him staring out of the window, deep in thought. You talked about how lovely it’d be. “I’m sure you’d be a great father,” you thought out loud, meaning just it, and nothing else. “Just like yours.”

His head begun to turn to you with a slow motion, as if mechanic, and his eyes were wide open. It wasn’t even a glare, but a mad stare.

“I will never be like that bastard!” He shouted, making you press against your seat out of the sheer force in which the words were pushed, spat out of his mouth.

His body started to shake, and the stare turned into a look of horror as his eyes fell down to the floor. Because…. Because… though his father had been horrid, spewed poisonous words in a whole different way than shouting… maybe you had been right and… he was on his way becoming just like his father. Which was among the last things he’d want.

But you… you didn’t quite understand where it had come from. Sure, he hadn’t talked about his father, but you hadn’t thought that there’d be this level of hatred and contempt for him from Nozel. Though you had gathered that Older Lord Silva wasn’t a well liked man, but… surely he… would have been… kinder to his… own children, right?

Right…?

There were a lot of emotions turning within you. Partly from the force of Nozel’s words, and partly from guilt of having failed to see through his silence. Through the things he didn’t want to talk about, and… as you leaned forward, your elbows on your knees and buried your face into your hands, you cried. You cried and you cried and you… didn’t know what to do. What to say?

You felt a weight right next to you on the couch, as a pair of arms wrapped around you.

“Nozel I…” you tried while pushing against his chest with a faint motion.

“Don’t…” he started as his hold of you grew more firm. “Look at me…” he continued as his voice broke, and something… as if a droplet, landed onto your shoulder.

The words sounded like a plea. Plea filled with shame and the broken pieces of his soul that he wasn’t eager to show you.

But you did as he wished, and settled into his embrace.

“I’m… sorry, my dear,” he whispered with that same broken tone while placing his hand to the back of your head. “I’ll… be better, than him. I will…” you couldn’t tell if he was trying to tell that to you or to himself.

But whatever his father must’ve been like in reality, you could already tell that Nozel was far better of a man than his father had ever been. He was. Because the man who held you in the soft, gentle, secure embrace felt so very deeply about you and the ones close to him.

He really was like an ocean of secrets.

“I love you,” he professed through another whisper, but while the tone was silent, the proclamation was loud as ever. “I love you…” he repeated, just to make sure that you heard him.

And as you buried your face into his shoulder, and the scent of his haircare products flowed to you, it was as if your tears had disappeared into thin air.

Nozel might not have been the best with words, but he was there, when you needed him the most.

Zora

Zora had had to raise himself for a good portion of his childhood. Though Zara had given him good tools to life, and a lot of wonderful memories, it didn’t mean that Zora wouldn’t have had to toughen up.

His accomplishments, his skills and tenacity were all a result of him having a keen eye for details, while also having had to, quite bluntly, tell himself to do better. Pay attention to his own shortcomings and fix the issue.

But… it had also resulted in him being blunt with others. Though it was all for the sake of betterment, for growth and development of skills, the way he delivered the words were harsh more often than not. Which was something he was trying to fix, when it came to some people, at least.

You knew that he was like that. And you knew that he wasn’t the type of a guy to just sit around and expect you to do all the housework, but it didn’t mean that you didn’t like cooking from time to time. Actually, maybe it was the idea that you didn’t need to cook, because he’d be more than alright with cooking if you asked him to, but rather that you could.

But today the dish wasn’t… cutting it. You had tried to taste it many times and there was something in the seasoning that wasn’t just… doing it for you. But you couldn’t really place your finger on what was wrong with it. Or not… wrong wrong per se, but it certainly could be better.

You leaned against the stove, and sighed to yourself, as the gears in your head tried to turn. But came up empty.

A drawer was opened, and closed. There was a sound of metal clicking against metal and steps coming closer, accompanied by a hum from a certain, masked, someone.

Zora dipped his spoon into the food and took a bite to test the taste. And after he had, he sighed, sounding disappointed before making his way to the spice cabinet and laying thme out onto the table.

“The balance is all wrong,” he said. “It’s mainly salty while you want there to be some sweetness to it for the contrast as well. A bit of acid would do wonders, but the real issue is that the spices aren’t complimenting each other,” he explained while taking the spoon and adding one spice after another along with other ingredients.

And you… took a step back and let him do it. Because if it was ‘all wrong’, why should you have interjected?

In all honesty, it made you feel unappreciated. Like you couldn’t even cook right. If I can’t even cook right, then why is he with me….? You found yourself thinking.

Before you knew it, your eyes had turned to the floor and you were grinding your molars together as tears started climbing to your eyes. And eventually, they ran down your cheeks as you were still immersed into your own thoughts, in how you didn’t think that you could do a simple task correct. Because surely Zora wanted someone by his side who could contribute as much as he did. Surely. So why was he-

“Hey babydoll?”

You looked up, and saw him standing there, having placed his hand onto your shoulder.

His eyes were deep, calm blue. Clear and yet deep blue. And there was worry in them. That was when you realized that you were crying and looked away while wrapping your arms around yourself.

He sighed, and rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry about the tone,” he said. “Didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, and… I’m happy to eat whatever you make,” he tried but the consolation fell short, given how he had started cooking in your place.

You curled around yourself a bit more, without really meaning to, but you did. In any case.

“Come here,” he said while pulling you into an embrace.

Seconds ticked away for a while as he just held you, and the dinner was slowly cooking on the stove.

“If you want me to stay out of it, you need to just tell me, y’know? I know that I can be too harsh, and… And… I try to not be.”

He was trying to help you get better. But he could be a wee bit of a jerk about it at times.

“We both know I can be a real ass jerk,” he said with a hint of amusement, trying to make you laugh.

And it worked. “But you’re my jerk,” you replied with a hint of a giggle in your tone.

“That I am,” he replied. “And I hope you never need to get sick of me,” he continued while pulling away just enough to wipe your tears away.

You gave him a small smile as a reply to his careful one, and went back to cooking, together.

Nacht

Nacht had been a loner for most of his life. Someone who travelled down his own path without caring what everyone else thought. And it had made him someone who spoke directly about anything and everything he deemed to be topical to say.

Though he could also be harsh. Granted that he was the harshest to himself, but still. His directness could be harsh, and you both knew it.

He tried not to be, to you. He tried to treat you with the kindness that you deserved. He tried to treat you with the respect that you ought to be treated with. But sometimes, he failed.

Though watching him scold the Bulls for their shenanigans yet again, you didn’t think that he was trying all that hard to be constructive. Maybe he just wanted them to be efficient during missions, because that would drive the squad forward the best. ‘Not to be wasteful of energy’, or something like that.

“You could try going easier on them,” you told him later on when it was just the two of you. “Be kinder.”

“Kindness is a weakness,” he scoffed. “And Yami has let them slack off enough already which will get them killed. Only a fool would go easy on them.”

You stopped, thinking about what he had just said. Because you were going easy with the rest of the Bulls. You were kind to them. And Nacht. So… so.

You couldn’t help but think that Nacht had, there and then, revealed what he really thought of you. Though it wasn’t directed at you, he had been, still, indirectly talking about you too. Basically he had called you weak and stupid.

Basically.

Which made your eyes turn to the ground as you bit down your molars and tried to will away the tears that were climbing to your eyes. Because you shouldn’t have taken such an off-hand comment that wasn’t even said to you, to the heart in such a way but… But. It had struck a nerve in you.

“Hm? What is it?” He asked, having stopped and turned around to look at you, as if he hadn’t realized what he had said.

“So you think that I’m dumb and weak?” You asked with bitterness lacing your tone as the tears finally glazed over your eyes, but didn’t roll down quite yet.

“That isn’t what I said,” he argued, now facing you fully and taking a few steps closer to you.

“But I am letting them off easier and I am being kind to them. So. If being kind and letting them have a breather is-“

“You’re not responsible for them.”

“Neither are you!” Now tears ran, but you didn’t look at him.

You didn’t look, and he said nothing.

Surely, he could have argued that as a vice captain he was more or less responsible, but not to the same extent as Yami. And at the end of the day, all the Bulls were responsible for themselves. So, he didn’t need to care about what they did with their time. Really.

“You are not weak and stupid,” he said while taking you by the hand. “Quite the contrary,” he admitted. “And I shouldn’t have spoken so carelessly.”

He sounded like he was speaking out a ready made dialogue of a noble man that he used to be. But you supposed that he hadn’t needed to comfort anyone lately either. If ever. If he had ever needed to comfort anyone. Even himself, since he had denied such a thing from himself.

But he could see how the ready made dialogue wasn’t doing it. The words might have been there, but the sentiment wasn’t.

“Darling?” He whispered, while moving again a little bit closer to you. “I’m sorry,” he said while summoning his shadows and tugging you, as if to ask to come along with him. To which you nodded, and he transported you both to your bedroom.

As you stood there, in the sanctity of the room with the door closed, he finally wrapped his arms around you and held you close. “You are not weak. Or stupid,” he repeated. This time the tone was one that sounded genuine, caring, insisting. “I’m sorry for insinuating it.”

You nodded and returned the embrace.

“It’s simply that… not being prepared can get people killed…” there was a reason, in there, why he would remind you of such a thing.

“But people need to live too.” And there was no arguing over it. Because life was meant to be lived.

Not even he could deny it. “They do…” he admitted while holding you closer in his arms.

And it was in that embrace that you could feel his heartbeat, his remorse and regret. But most importantly, you could feel how he did love you. Because he did. With his entire heart and soul.

#black clover fanfiction #black clover headcanons #black clover x reader #fuegoleon x reader #fuegoleon vermillion x reader #william x reader #william vangeance x reader #nozel x reader #nozel silva x reader #zora x reader #zora ideale x reader #nacht faust x reader #nacht x reader #fuegoleon vermillion #william vangeance #nozel silva #zora ideale #nacht faust

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artificial-transmutations · 10 months

Text

A new character

"I approach the king and bow, before I say: 'Greetings, most noble King Tanarath, first of your name. Allow me to introduce my friends and my humble self.'" Brian said enthusiastically.

There was a moment of silence on the table before Dylan, another of the players, groaned: "Dude..."

Brian blinked and readjusted his glasses. Dylan sighed and explained: "You're not playing your bard anymore. That is totally out of character for a barbarian! Look at your intelligence stat. There's no way your character would even be able to form sentences like that."

"Oh. Right." Brian said. It had been four sessions now since his bard had died at the hand of a wicked owlbear, and although he had been sad about it, Brian had really looked forward to playing something else, for a change.

So, he had created Briarok, his barbarian. While he absolutely loved his new character stat-wise, he sometimes had trouble of actually playing the huge, muscled and dumb-as-a-brick man.

"So, I guess, I just go: 'Yo, king! What's up?'?"

Brian could feel the cringe in the room. Why was it so difficult for him to get into character? Steven, the dungeon master rolled his eyes. "Uhm... okay, let's try this one more time. Before I continue the session, I'd like you to say something in character. You just need to get into it, Brian."

"Yes, Brian, you need to... become one... with... your... barbarian." Dylan mocked in a slow, hypnotic voice and laughed.

"Okay, I think I got this." Brian said. He thought about the character he had created. Brian had chosen the barbarian class because of the raw power and durability it provided. He wanted to be able to protect himself and his friends from harm. Besides, barbarians were just plain awesome. Brian also chose the name Briarok, because he thought it was a cool name.

However, getting into the primitive mindset was difficult for him, especially since he was used to play a bard with lots of charisma.

Brian rolled up his sleeves, took a deep breath and flexed his unimpressive muscles.

"Alright!" he said in a loud voice and nodded.

The other players looked at him with disbelief, before Dylan laughed again: "Okay, that was kind of cool. I give you a 7/10 for trying."

However, something weird had happened. Brian was the stereotypical nerd, with no muscles to speak of. However, when he just flexed, small mounds of muscle popped up on his arms. When he relaxed his arms, however, the bumps did not shrink away again, but stayed visible.

"What the..." he mumbled and rolled up his sleeves further, trying to get a better view.

He could see his own arm, and the small protrusions. It wasn't much, but it looked definitely different from before. Wanting to explore further, his eyes scanned the room before settling on the six pack of large soda bottles on the floor. Usually, he had his fair difficulties lifting the 12 kilograms worth of beverages, but right now, it was easier. It was still a notable weight, but somehow, it felt lighter than before. In fact, he longer he lifted it up, the lighter it felt.

"Hey, guys?" Brian asked, while still staring at the soda bottles.

"Yeah?" Steven replied.

"What's the heaviest thing in this room?"

"Uhm... I'm not sure." Steven mumbled.

"The sofa?" Dylan offered.

"Not sure, but it's pretty heavy."

"Yeah, probably."

Brian placed the large bottle down again and flexed his arms. Bi- and triceps were now clearly visible on them, and didn't disappear when he stopped flexing, like before. His arms weren't the only thing to change, Brian noticed as he went over to the sofa. His shirt clung to his back, as if it was several sizes too small for him and his pants felt constricting as well.

Brian bent down and grabbed the sofa. Were his hands bigger than before? He needed to know now. With a grunt, he started lifting. Very slowly at first, but then it became quicker and easier.

Brian should be confused and normally, his brain would have gone to overdrive, trying to process what was happening, but for some reason, Brian only felt... good about it! His thoughts were slower than usual, but he felt a good deal of pride. He managed to lift a sofa with ease! That was awesome! He bet nobody else in this room was able to do that. He was the strongest of them!

With the sofa safely on the ground, he turned around to look at his friends.

They were all staring at him, eyes wide. Brian couldn't remember having seen anyone looking that surprised. Dylan looked at him and slowly shook his head. "Dude. Did you just lift a sofa?"

"Yeah, I did!" Brian answered with a big smile.

Dylan's mouth opened a little further, and his eyes went wider.

"You're all... ripped and stuff." Dylan remarked.

"Yeah, it's awesome! But sorry guys, I have to get out of my shirt and pants now, they're way to small."

Brian began to fumble on his button fly with his large hands and needed several moments to get it open. The buttons almost flew through the room as he released them.

The reason for the enormous pressure was not only Brian's package. His hips had become considerably wider and stronger. His ass was pronounced and muscular and exerted its own pressure to the construct. However, even though it was not *only* Brian's package, it certainly also had a part: his entire crotch region had become bigger and more prominent. Brian's soft cock made a clear outline on his retro pants. Would it become hard, Brian was sure it would rip right through them.

Brian took his pants off and stood there in only his underwear. It was now tighter than ever and stuck to his body. He gave his friend a broad grin and tried to work on his shirt. That, however, proved to be way more difficult. By now his shirt looked like it was painted on him, showing the clear outline of impressive pectoral muscles and at least a six pack underneath.

"Damn, man! You're... hot!" Dylan said in awe while Brian was still trying to wiggle out of his shirt.

With a frustrated grunt and a gasp from his friends, Brian finally resolved the problem another way. He grabbed his collar with both of his strong hands, and with a bulge of his massive arms, he just ripped the clothing in two, from top to bottom. His undershirt went down the middle, along with the remnants of his destroyed button fly, as he held up the pieces in front of himself.

Victory! He just felt like shouting, so he roared loudly in triumph and threw the remnants of his clothes to the ground.

Grinning broadly, he grabbed his chair and pulled it away from the table before sitting down with his legs spread widely. Man-spreading like that and readjusting his large package shamelessly, Briarok rumbled loudly in his deep new voice:

"Alright! Where were we? I want to kill stuff!"

Dylan, Steven and the other friends had trouble to hide their erections from the display of raw power.

Steven gulped and continued: "Okay, so, after speaking to the king, you venture out into the cold mountains..."

I think I would enjoy playing with that dude afterwards! What do you think? If you want to see stories like this as soon as they appear, alongside exclusive content like the 15(!) picture candidates that did not make it into this story, be sure to subscribe to my riot page!

#male transformation #muscle transformation #dumbing down

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thebestofoneshots · 7 months

Text

Gilded Constellations | wolfstar x reader

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 5.3 K Warnings: PG-13 kisses Prompt: You venture to a reading club, entering a part of Hogwarts you had not yet been into, and meeting new and exciting people. A covert trip to the library, on a quest for a werewolf book, leads to an unexpected encounter. This IS a wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. A/N: Sprinkling in a bit of spice, hope you enjoy <3

Chapter 15: No One Like You

The week went by a lot faster than you expected it to, Remus, just like the last time, had gotten a lot better by dinner, Madame Pomfrey told him he could go once he took a painkiller potion, and gave you some anti-headache drops. You both thanked her and walked together towards the Great Hall. You were in awe of how fast he healed, really, just the thought of how bad he had been in the morning, and how much better he was now, was outstanding, and it made you wonder what other benefits his condition brought along, even if it was clearly a nuisance for him.

Later on the week you’d gone to the book club Nina had invited you to, you wondered if she had also guessed Remus’s condition by reading the book she’d lend you, even if she hadn’t spent so much time with Remus; and to be honest, one of the reason you realised was because you were made pretty aware of the moon phases by your classes and professor on the past few months, you had gotten that silver ring as a gift, and you spend a great deal of time with the boys, down to the point that you easily noticed when they were all acting weird. All of them things Nina had not been a witness to, at least not up close like you had, but she had been around a lot longer than you, you really had no way to tell, unless you straight up asked, and that was obviously not happening.

“So… did you like it?” She asked you with a bright smile when she spotted you outside of the Ravenclaw common room.

You nodded “It was really nice, helped me learn a lot too.”

She frowned “Learn a lot… about werewolves you mean?”

You nodded “I hadn’t studied them before,” you added later “I mean I know it’s not all accurate…” I certainly hope some of those Alpha and knotting things aren’t accurate, you thought “but it got me investigating more about them, it’s pretty interesting.”

Nina nodded “It is, right?” She told you with a smile “I was taking an extra class on magical creatures and they’re all super interesting. They say Newt Scamander may come give a talk at some point next year, it would be absolutely brilliant!”

“Yeah, totally!” You agreed she guided you inside her common room, and you marvelled at the ceiling. You remembered Remus had told you about it, how it was enchanted to look like the sky above instead of a normal roof. It was definitely prettier than what you and Rem had created together, but you rather liked the Gryffindor one best.

Nina smiled when she saw you, “beautiful, right? I’m sure you would’ve fitted in perfectly in Ravenclaw.”

You smiled at her “I’m not sure I’m as studious as most of you,” you told her with a smile “Just the other day I skipped some classes because I had a headache.”

“Yeah, but you still have incredible grades,” she told you, matter of factly “Everyone thinks we’re nerds that study all the time,” she whispered, leaning in closer to you “but just because we’re reading it doesn’t mean we’re studying,” she smiled mischievously “as you saw with the book.”

“Yeah, those spicy scenes were certainly something…” you replied.

Nina guided you towards a small little gathering in front of the fire, it was different to the Gryffindor one, it somehow looked a lot more regal and elegant, reminded you of Professor Nightshade, and then made you wonder how the Hufflepuff common room would look, perhaps Alex could sneak you in one day, after all, he was the head boy.

“Hey everyone, this is (Y/N),” She said as she pointed at you, you waved awkwardly.

“Not that she needs much of an introduction,” a boy said, standing up and offering his hand for a shake, you took it with a smile “Neil Perry, it’s nice to meet the new Gryffindor legend.” You laughed, Neil had a very dashing smile, he almost reminded you of Prongs, he was just as bright “That’s Alice,” he said pointing to a girl with silver hair.

“We share a class, don’t we?” You asked with a smile, she nodded, and the two of you shook hands.

“That over there is Nox,” he said pointing at a boy with Slytherin robes.

You both shook hands as well, “Nice to meet you,” he said “This is Comet, by the way” he said, pointing at a girl who was sitting right next to him.

“I’m really sorry about the Slytherins that have been picking on you,” she told you with a smile “We’re not all entitled pricks.”

“Some of us are even nice,” Nox added.

“I don’t hold grudges against houses,” you told them with a smile “I kind of skipped the whole indoctrination moment by getting here so late,” you joked, and it cracked a chorus of laughs from the entire circle.

Comet extended her hand for you to shake, “I already like you,” the girl said with a grin, which you returned with a wink, you already liked her as well.

“I’m Jennifer, everyone calls me Jane,” a girl with curly black hair and freckles said as she extended her hands, you shook it.

“She picked the book,” You heard another girl say from behind, she was wearing Ravenclaw robes too “I’m Clara,” she told you with a smile. You’d seen her around Nina often.

“Marina,” said another girl with a wave, she was wearing a Hufflepuff beanie.

“I believe that’s all of us?” Neil said with a smile.

Then another boy barged into the room, he had light brown hair and looked a little distressed for being late, “I’m sorry, got caught up on the stairs when coming from the library,” he said. Neil smiled fondly when he saw the boy “That’s Todd,” he told you, “he doesn’t talk much, but he enjoys listening to us a lot.”

You also smiled at the boy “Nice to meet you,” you said looking at him “I’m (Y/N)!”

He looked at you puzzled “Same (Y/N) Nina won’t shut up about?” He asked, still fondling with the amount of things was carrying in his arms.

You raised your eyebrow, smiling at the same time “All good things, I hope.” You said as you shook his hand, and helped him hold some of the books he was carrying.

Todd nodded “It’s like she completely forgot about her old Gryffindor crush and replaced him with you.”

“Will you shut it, Todd?” Nina said, with a tight smile on her face.

He just shrugged and took a seat next to Neil. Nina looked a little debased, so you placed a hand on her shoulder “Don’t think too much about it,” you told her with a smile, you could feel her ease under your hand “Where should we sit?”

“Come here!” Jane said as she slid to the side of the rug where she was so you could both fit in as part of the circle. Once you did, she took out the book and levitated it towards the centre of the circle, letting it float in between you all. “All right, session starts now.”

“Favourite parts?” Asked Clara.

“The chase scene at the end,” Said Neil “No offence Jane, but the book was a bit slow.”

“Excessive with the descriptions of abs,” added Nox.

“Nah, I rather enjoyed those,” countered the first boy.

You raised your eyebrows at that but nodded in agreement.

“I like the way they depicted the werewolf.” Said Nina, who was next to you.

“Yeah, especially on the sexy scenes,” added Comet with a cheeky smile. Alice hit her on the arm playfully “What? It’s true!” She retorted.

“I don’t know about the knotting though,” you added in.

Nox cringed from the other side “Please don’t remind me of that,” he said “I’ve been trying to erase those lines from my mind.”

“I found it rather interesting,” said Jane “That’s why I chose the book.”

“But it’s not like that in real life, is it?” You asked, trying to sound playful.

“Well I’ve never done it with a werewolf, but I highly doubt it,” Responded Comet casually.

“It’s not,” Todd said, everyone stared at him, and he turned red “I looked it up on a BOOK! Merlin guys!” that got a chorus of laughter from everyone.

The reading circle continued on, with its playful banter, jokes and a rather in-depth discussion of the relationship mechanics within the story. You actually had lots of fun, Nina was right, just because they had their head buried in a book, it didn’t mean they were nerds. Even if some people would see you from afar, talking about a book so gleefully and entertainedly, that they would consider you as such. Once the reunion was over, they decided on the next book that would be reviewed, Nox picked a wizarding world book titled “Point of Know Return” and he promised it would be delightful, with Pirates, mermaids and fairies and underwater cities deep in the pacific. He also promised there would be no knotting.

As the night started to fall, you realised the stars on the Ravenclaw ceiling became a lot brighter, you wondered if there was a spell that you could implement to make the same thing happen to the one you’d created in the Gryffindor common room. “All right guys,” said Jane, “I think we should all head to bed, especially our guests from other houses since you don’t want to leave after curfew.”

Everyone nodded and started to stand, as you grabbed the book they’d borrowed, you remembered “Hey Guys! Sunday’s the Halloween Party at Gryffindor, you should all come! Costumes are obligatory tho…”

“You’re inviting us? To a party?” Nox asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“We aren’t exactly the type of people that get invitations to parties often,” added Todd.

“Speak for yourselves,” added Neil “I’m down!” He smiled, yeah, he definitely reminds you of Prongs “I’m sure I can conjure something to dress up as before Sunday.”

“I’m coming too!” Said Jane with a smile.

“If she’s going I’ll be there,” Clara said as she gave you a thumbs up.

“Yeah, I’m definitely coming,” smiled Comet. “Minho will be there, won’t he?” You nodded in response. “Good, I’ll tag along with him.”

“I’d be lovely to see you all there!” You assured, and waved at them as you walked towards the door, Nina walked close behind you.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” She asked you with a smile.

You nodded “Yeah!” You responded excitedly “It was excellent! I’m pretty sure Remus and Lily would also love to join in, have you asked them?”

She seemed surprised but shook her head “They uh… they’re not like you. Remus is always very polite, but too closed off and Lily is always busy.”

“I think you should ask Remus,” you told her “I could ask him for you if you wanted,” you offered, but she shook her head again.

“I’d rather it was just a you and me thing,” she said shyly.

You raised an eyebrow at her statement but shrugged “Just us then,” you said, placing your arm over her shoulder, Nina tensed up with the unexpected contact and then relaxed back again, once she remembered it was you.

“I really like hanging out with you,” she said, almost in a whisper. You reassured her by rubbing the side of her arm with your hand, Sirius’ touchiness was rubbing off on you.

“I like hanging out with you too, luv.” You smiled “You’re coming to the Halloween Party, yeah?”

She shook her head “I’ve got a thing that day,” She told you.

“A thing? What kind of thing?”

“A date,” she mustered.

You stopped the two of you dead in your tracks “Shut up! With who? I thought you liked Remus. Wait… Is it Remus? He didn’t tell me a thing, I’ll punch him!”

“It’s not Remus.” She said and then frowned “How did you know I liked Remus?”

You arched an eyebrow “You should be more surprised no one else knew, I figured it out on the first day of study group.”

She laughed, “Well, I was pretty hung up on him then, that’s not a lie. But…” she cleared her throat “Someone else came around, made me realise Remus wasn’t really my type.”

“What?!” You narrowed your eyes at her, “Come on, tell me who!”

She shook her head, a diverted smile playing on her lips “No-uh.”

“Awww… Nina!” You complained. She just shrugged in response.

“You figured out who the first one was by yourself, figure it out a second time,” she replied. You smiled and shook your head at her response.

“Fine them, what prize do I get if I get it right?”

“Knowledge.”

You raised your eyebrows at her, “Not a Ravenclaw, remember?”

“Fine then, a kiss.” You gave her a look. “What? You wouldn’t kiss a girl?”

You laughed “I would, I have. Kissed Evans a couple of weeks ago actually.” You explained “But… I’m kind of dating Sirius now.”

She frowned as if the news were a shock to her “Sirius Black? You’re dating him?” You nodded “And is he aware you are dating?”

You opened your mouth, drawing a bit of air in before speaking “Well… uhm– he seemed pretty aware last time I checked.”

“What I mean is…” she started, shaking her head as if she wasn’t sure which words to use “Does he know you are exclusive?”

“I’m sorry?!”

“Sirius has a bit of a reputation…”

Finally, you understood what Nina was going on about and you smiled at her softly, she was worried about you, so sweet. “He knows,” you reassured her “We uhm-“ you cleared your throat “We’ve got a bit of history.”

“And what about Remus?” She asked then, curiosity getting the best of her.

“What about him?”

“I thought you’d end up dating him.”

Now you frowned “Remus? Why would I–“

“-you always seemed to be really close to him, from the day you arrived, really.”

“I…” you started, but you weren’t exactly sure what to respond. Remus really was great, very different to Sirius, but he had his own charm to him, and he was just as beautiful as your boyfriend, just a different kind of beauty. The more you thought about it, Nina wasn’t wrong, if you weren’t so enamoured by Sirius, you might have fallen for Remus instead.

“Nevermind,” she said as she discovered you weren’t saying anything, “Want me to walk you back to your dorm?”

You smiled “That’s so gentleman-y of you Nina,” you told her with a smile “But I’m gonna stop by the library on the way, it’s better for you to stay here, or you might be returning after curfew.”

“The library?” She asked, puzzled “What for?”

“I’ve been looking for a book,” you told her with a smile “for a little investigation I want to do on Magical Creatures.” Nina nodded, and pulled you into a hug before the two separated, she stayed in her common room as you walked towards the library.

When you arrived, the doors were closed and you carefully sneaked inside, not wanting to disturb anybody. You were pretty sure no-one had spotted you, cause even when it was past curfew, and you were still roaming the halls of the library quietly, attempting to find a book, you realized no-one had asked you to leave, the librarian seemed to have left too.

“You’ll have trouble for sneaking about at this time,” you heard a portrait say disdainfully.

“I’m not sneaking about,” you responded “It’s not my fault no one was looking when I entered.” The portrait raised an eyebrow at you, as if he thought what you were saying was bull. You stared at the old wizard for a second, narrowing your eyes and turned your back on him, still trying to find the book. As you scanned through the old bookshelves, you finally spotted a book that could be useful, “Dark creatures and the things that make them tick'' you were just about to grab it, when you heard a very low whisper from a couple of bookshelves behind.

“Merde…fuck-fuck.” You recognized that voice. You would recognize it anywhere. It’s Sirius.

You looked around, trying to find him, but no matter where you looked, there seemed to be no-one there. Since you had to move further into the library, to try to spot the boy, you decided to put a disillusionment charm on yourself, so you could walk more freely, and perhaps sneak up on him.

You walked through the lines of shelfs, quietly so you didn’t make much noise, but no matter how hard you looked, Sirius was nowhere to be found. Just when you started to think you had imagined it, and started walking back to get the Dark Creature’s book you’d found, you heard the creaking of a door. You turned around and saw how the door of the restricted section was being opened, by itself.

Finally it downed you, James’ invisibility cloak, Sirius must have it, you thought before walking up behind him. Or, at least behind where you assumed he was. Eventually you saw his wand come out of the cloak, along with his delicate but strong looking hand. You smiled, almost wanting to applaud yourself for recognizing your boyfriend with a simple “merde.”

You sneaked up on him, sharply placing your hands over his shoulders, He turned sharply, the cloak falling on the floor before he pushed you against one of the bookshelves. He narrowed his eyes, and then he drew in a breath “Mon Coeur?” he asked, visibly confused. Truth be told, he had smelled you earlier, but he assumed it was just that your scent had stuck to his own clothes from when you were sitting together in the common room earlier that day.

Finally you vanished the disillusionment charm and smiled “Surprise,” you whispered, he still had you pinned against the wall, hand bunching up your uniform threateningly, you bit your lip “I had no idea you liked it rough, Puppy,” you joked, a playful smile on your lips, as you eyed the way he was holding you.

“Shit, sorry.” He whispered, finally letting you uniform free, you quickly straightened it, and then turned your head back to him, “What are you doing here?” he asked.

“Came to find a book after the reading club with Nina.”

Then you heard noise and he quickly picked the cloak up, placing it over the two of you as he drew you a bit closer to him. “Shh, it’s Peeves!” He whispered, he probably didn’t need the two of you to stand so close together, nor did he need to place his hand over your mouth, since the two knew you were sneaking about, but he was certainly enjoying it.

And you were enjoying yourself too, especially when you slipped your tongue out of your mouth and licked the hand that was covering it. He made a disgusted expression when you did, pulling back and cleaning it off on his pants as he stared at you in disbelief. “What the hell?” He mouthed, the shadow of a diverted smile playing on his lips.

You shrugged, with a smile placed on your own, you found his reaction really amusing. You then looked to the side, the sound was further away, far enough for you to whisper “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for a book,” he said as he placed his hand on your shoulder, thumb brushing on your neck as he pushed your forwards lightly, motioning you to move.

“And here I assumed you’d come for a barbecue.”

He rolled his eyes as he chuckled “It’s for a prank, the one for the Slytherins that we talked about the other day, remember?”

“And you got commissioned to pick the book by the boys?”

“I was meant to come with Remus, he was feeling off, and I told them I’d come alone. I wasn’t really eager to spend a long time snuggled up against Wormy under the cloak.”

“But you were eager to snuggle up against Remus, I see,” you teased. He chuckled again.

He used his free hand to pull his wand out and illuminate the titles of the books as he read through them, he now stood a lot closer to you, his chest basically pressed against your back, you could feel it going up and down as he breathed. Somehow it felt different to when you sat on his lap, almost more intimate. Maybe it was the rush of sneaking about together, or maybe you were just being silly, “What are we looking for?” You asked him, turning your head to see him better, reflecting on how lucky you were a boy like that was your boyfriend. His stunning grey eyes, framed by his dark eyelashes, were scanning the bookshelves as he did.

“It’s a book called The Compendium of Pernickety Enchantments.” He told you as he continued scanning the shelves. You nodded and did the same. But then in-between some books, further down on the shelves, you found a small tome about werewolves. You had to take it. But you obviously couldn’t do it while Sirius was still there, or at least not while he was paying attention.

You had to think of something, a distraction, but one that wouldn’t get the two of you caught. And then you remembered Sirius was a boy, and there was one thing that could easily distract any boy “Hey Puppy…” He hummed in response, his face awfully close to yours, his long hair brushing against your cheeks “You haven’t cashed out on those kisses that I owe you.”

He frowned, giving you a look before turning back to the bookshelves “You’ve been too busy, haven’t you?” he responded, “with the whole trying to finish the book before the session and then the session today, on like our only bit of free time of the week”

You arched an eyebrow at that “You jealous?”, you teased.

“Well, you should spare some more time for your boyfriend.”

“How about I spare it now?” You said, finally turning to face him.

“Right now!?” He questioned, eyebrows furrowed as he looked at you, confusion evident in his face, we’re in the restricted section of the library!, he thought.

“Of course, if you don’t want to…” you said, with feign innocence and a little shrug of your shoulders. You were tempting him, and Sirius wasn’t one to resist temptation, let alone if it came from you. So he placed his hand behind your neck and pulled you towards him. You gently let your backpack fall on the floor.

“C'est une idée terrible,” he said as he finally closed the gap between the two of you.

“When have we ever been known for doing the most prudent thing?” you responded in between a kiss. And it was true, when you and Sirius were together it seemed like you threw caution to the wind, responsibilities be damned, fun? Pleasure? They always seemed to come first.

Sirius now had both of his hands on your face, expertly leading the kiss, as you pulled your wand from your pocket and started using it to levitate the werewolf book towards your bag. You felt terrible as you did, distracting Sirius with a kiss to take a book from the shelves without him noticing, even if it was harmless, made you feel dirty, and not in a good way. Sirius trusted you, and here you were, hiding your knowledge from him, even if it was because you feared you’d lose a friend over it.

When the book was safely inside the bag, you decided you’d make it up to him, and placed both hands around his neck, drawing him just a little closer to you and focusing absolutely all of your attention into the kiss. And that had you almost completely forget about the werewolf book in your bag. Sirius was kissing you hungrily, thirstily, like you were water and he’d been in the desert for days.

You weren’t too far behind either, his lips might have been the most incredible thing to ever be created. So incredible you almost wanted to bite them. And you didn’t hold back from that either, you gently bit his lower lip as the two of you separated slightly, panting for air.

“Did you just?” He whispered, but you ignored it, and went to place soft, wet kisses over his sharp jawline before using one of your hands to pull his hair out of the way and trail kisses all the way to his neck.

Sirius Black smelled incredible, of pine trees, musk and a tinge of leather, probably from the leather jacket he often wore, he smelled like an adventure, and you couldn’t help to be hauled by it. Sirius had lowered his hands over to your hips, and held you close as you kissed his neck, eventually you found a particularly sweet spot, and kissed away, stopping to smile as he stifled a moan.

“Shhh…” you whispered as you continued kissing the spot. Eventually his hand found his way to your waist, tucking your shirt out of your uniform skirt before placing his hand in the warmth of your back, his cold rings causing a shiver to rush down your spine. But his touch, oh, his touch made your skin feel like you were on fire. You placed your hands over his hair and pulled him back a little, bringing his lips back to yours. Both you and Sirius had kissed plenty since you started dating, but never like this, in fact you were certain he’d never reached for your skin the way he had today, but it felt good, and you didn’t want him to stop.

Eventually he stopped the kiss, letting his forehead rest on yours, his hand still in the small of your back “We should stop,” he said, panting.

“…don’t want to,” you answered, a little bratty in the way you’d said it.

“Don’t make it harder for me Starshine,” he groaned, as he softly bumped his forehead on yours.

You reached for a quick kiss on his lips “‘m not…” you replied, and kissed him again, now in the corner of his lip “I just–“ you kissed his cheek now “don’t want to stop kissing my beautiful boyfriend.”

“…merde…” he said, it was taking him all the restraint in the world to stop himself from pinning you against the bookshelves again, this time with your legs around him instead, but with you being so willing, it was harder, so much harder.

You looked at him expectantly “je m’en fous,” He whispered, and dragged the two of you onto a nearby table, easily hauling you to sit on it, you helped accommodate the invisibility cloak around the two of you, managing to set it around the table by the time he was kissing you again. You weren’t sure you’d ever felt like this before, especially when he reached his hand higher and unclasped your bra. He broke off the kiss to look at you, to make sure you were ok with it, you only brought him back to the kiss in response.

You moved yourself to reach him better, his left hand already in your abdomen, dangerously close to your breast, when, all of the sudden a vase, that was at the end of the table, tumbled and fell to the ground, making a very loud noise in the otherwise quiet library. You broke off the kiss, pulling apart just a little and staring at each other, both alert of what may happen, over his shoulder, you managed to see a shadow, it was peeves in the distance.

“Shit, we’ll get caught.” You whispered, turning back to look at him.

He looked at you impassively, as if he was itching to tell you the “I told you so”. You deserved it, but he very well knew it had also been his fault. He seemed to be thinking about the possible escape plans now, but he hadn’t found the book he was looking for by the time you started snogging.

“The book,” you whispered.

“You find it, I’ll distract Peeves.”

“What? No way! You’ll get caught.”

“Aw… put a little faith in me, will you?” He told you with a smile, “Find the book, I’ll see you just outside the library.”

You weren’t entirely convinced by his plan, but nodded, turning around to look for the book, while he got out of the cloak and used the same disillusionment charm you had used earlier. You took a deep breath, still trying to gain back composure from the kiss, and moved towards the bookshelves, scanning through the names of the tomes, trying to find The Compendium of Pernickety Enchantments. After looking through three shelves, you finally found the book, and right next to it, there was one called, The Refined Art of Mild Hexes: A Sophisticated Spellbook, so you grabbed it as well, since it looked like it could be useful.

You scurried all the way to your backpack, which was still laying on the floor from earlier, and threw both books inside of it. Once the backpack was securely hanged over your shoulder, you scurried outside of the restricted section.

You were already close to the door when you spotted Sirius, hiding behind a huge shelf, he was almost imperceptible, but close behind him was Peeves. Sirius didn’t see him, since he wasn’t looking towards him, but you could.

So even if Sirius had told you he’d deal with it by himself, you weren’t about to let him get caught, you had to improvise. You kneeled behind another bookshelf, cloak still covering your frame, and pulled out a piece of parchment, scribbled a small dialogue on it, and charmed it. You used your wand to levitate it to the other side of the library and then, you popped the seal. Now there were whispers coming from the other side of the library, Peeves smiled wickedly as he heard, and started flying towards them.

You ran towards Sirius, and covered him with the cloak quickly, he was a little startled at first, but then smiled. “That was you?” You nodded “Brilliant! It’s like you’re made for this.” He told you, and it was no lie, he was genuinely impressed with your cleverness, one more reason to the pile of why he was so smitten by you.

“Thanks,” you said, a small blush creeping up your cheeks. You looked to the side so he wouldn’t notice, he’d probably tease you mercilessly about it if he had. After a couple of seconds you took his hand in yours and did a small head gesture to indicate him it was time to move, Peeves was far away enough that you could sneak out of the library unnoticed.

A couple of minutes later, you were out of the library and speeding through the halls under the cloak. Sirius was the one leading the way now, he took sharp turns, taking you through stairs, doors, halls and even small passageways. He clearly knew the way by memory, and it made you wonder how many times he had sneaked about the castle like this, how many he’d do it with you from now on.

Another sharp turn, and he pulled you into a broom’s closet. Letting the door shut quietly behind you. “What is it? Did you hear someone?” You whispered in his ear. He almost felt guilty from the shiver that your innocent whisper had sent down his spine.

He shook his head and raised one of his eyebrows with a smirk “You said something about… wanting to continue kissing your beautiful boyfriend, didn’t you?” You looked at him with amusement, your eyes shining at his words. “Turns out he also wants to continue kissing his beautiful girlfriend…”

You were about to ask “here?”, but then again, why would a broom closet be any less proper than the restricted section of the library. You bit your lip and let him close the gap between the two. The common room would have to wait.

Disclaimer: This story WILL NOT include knotting; I also do not mean to poke fun at anyone who reads / writes it either, this was just meant for comedic purposes, and I firmly believe you can read and enjoy whatever type of smut you like. Now if you don’t know what knotting is… google it if you’re brave? But trust me, it’s not for the faint of heart.

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A/N: Is it me or is it geting hot in here? Next week we have the Q&A, you can send in your questions now for the long post, or save some for asks later that day, (The halloween special is coming and boy, is it going to be fun! One of my fav chapters tbh, also a tad angsty, but you'll see...) Ly, Lilly xx

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aestheticpearl · 1 year

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Can you do one and they surprise Y/N by coming home early from a mission? Xx

hello again my love, i apologize for how long this took forgive me <3

— ‘oh you’re back…YOU’RE BACK!’

characters. rooster, hangman, phoenix, bob, payback, fanboy, coyote

themes. fluff

[summary] they surprise you by coming home early from their deployment

[warnings] not proof read (i’m lazy)

❥ bradley “rooster” bradshaw

it had been a whole day since bradley had last texted you and he had missed your routine phone call that is always scheduled for seven so needless to say you were worried. you texted him asking if he meant to miss the phone call and he only responded a hour later with ‘busy.’ which provided no comfort whatsoever.

you were doing your best to distract yourself by folding laundry when you came across one of his old sleep shirts. it was a concert tee that he had gotten at the first concert you went to as a couple, you could help but stare at it for a little too long when your eyes started pooling with tears. gosh why is being always from him is long still so hard? you should be use to it.

“we should go to another one of their concerts, i still really like their music” you know that voice, you body moves on it’s own as you turn away to see him standing there smiling like an absolute idiot at you in the doorway.

“surprise!” he drops his bag and opens his arms for you and you happily run into him, only crying a little totally not sobbing. “aww baby you miss me that much?”

“you missed our scheduled phone call you dick” you laughs at your remark.

“i was hoping this would make up for it”

“only a little” he shakes his head and holds your face in his hands while you kisses you.

“i missed you”

“okay you’re forgiven” you are a sucker for coming home kisses.

❥ jake “hangman” seresin

exhausted didn’t even begin so describe how you felt after your shift at work, it’s like there isn’t even a busy season it’s just always busy. you open the front door after struggling with the lock for longer than you care to admit, it’s empty since jake is still deployed over seas. you throw your bag and jacket on the couch and it responds with an oof.

“shh i have a headache” you responded without thinking too tired to register that your couch just talked— well made sound not really talked per say. wait couches don’t talk. “wait..”

“did you just shush me?” jake asks turning on the light next to the couch. you turn around and try to process the fact that he’s here in the house like right now with you not over seas. you run to him and basically pin him down to the couch with your body as you hug him tightly.

“you’re home. you’re here like actually here” you say burying your face into his neck.

“thought it would be a nice surprise. i’m a little concerned on how long it took you to register that someone was in the house though.”

“long day, you’ve made it so worth it”

“aww pumpkin” he kisses you gently while you hold his face. “i missed you too”

❥ natasha “phoenix” trace

you never realize how much you hang out with someone till they’re gone and you know that sounds like natasha is dead, but she might as well be she you don’t get to see her. honestly it sucks having an amazing pilot as a girlfriend cause she’s always busy when deployed cause she’s the best. curse her incredible skill and hard work.

as sappy as it sounds you love looking through your photos with her when she’s away, sure it makes you feel sad but also makes you look forward to seeing her again. when she’s away you like to try to plan a date for when she gets home and when she told you that she’d be coming home in a couple of months you wanted to getting started sooner rather than later.

so after you come home from your quick trip to the store you find natasha standing in the house with flowers in hand smiling that beautiful smile right at you and at first you’re truly too stunned to speak.

“surprised much?” she places the flowers down on the table beside her. “i just missed you so much i had to come home early” you’re still in shock, then you snap yourself out of it and run into her arms.

“i am so surprised, i missed you so much”

you hugs her tightly and you both fall into a comfortable silence once she kisses the side of your head. until you break it with a gasp.

“i didn’t have time to get all the ‘welcome home’ date stuff” she laughs.

“i can wait a little longer for the ‘welcome home’ date”

❥ robert “bob” floyd

bob is awful at keeping secrets and even worse at executing surprises but he was determined to have this surprise for you be successful, so much so that he had natasha get you out of the house just a little so he could set up flowers he bought down the street and some romantic candles.

you were a tiny bit confused on why natasha asked you to go grocery shopping with her but you had nothing else to do and you love her company so you didn’t mind in the end. little did you know that natasha had to make up an excuse to get you out of the house for at least and hour or two so bob could set up and the first thing that came to her mind was grocery shopping. she didn’t need to go grocery shopping yet here she was standing with you in the produce section wondering which apples to get.

“so granny smith? no no macintosh” you roll your eyes. you love hanging out with natasha but she was really hung up on which apple to buy and it had almost been a half hour.

“nat, it’s an apple”

“okay but they’re all so different” she replies back praying in the back of her mind that bob is almost done and by the grace of the almighty she receives a text for the all clear.

“you know you’re right this is a waste of time who needs food let’s go” she takes your arm and drags you out of the store entirely to your surprise.

“wait what i thought you needed to—”

“let me bring you home” you are baffled at your friends out of character actions but let her do her thing anyhow. when you get home your jaw is on the floor with everything that bob has set up.

“ta da! how’d i do? i kept a secret for once.” he smiles at you happily. you run into his arms and hug him tightly.

“oh my god baby you actually surprised me” he laughs and kisses you gently while waving off phoenix who was standing in the doorway.

❥ reuben “payback” fitch

reuben wanted to see how long you could go without noticing that he was home, not one of his brightest ideas really specially since you had just watched a horror movie the previous night.

he arrived back early in the morning and unlocked the door to your house quietly and went to the hall closet to put his things out of sight so you wouldn’t see them and instantly realize he was home. before long he heard you wake up start to make your way downstairs. he carefully placed down some flowers in the kitchen table and hide behind the door.

you woke up with an awful headache and just felt in your bones that today wasn’t going to be good, nevertheless you walked downstairs to the kitchen to make some breakfast alone. being half asleep you didn’t even notice the roses placed on the table until you turned around and reuben was behind you.

the scream you let out could’ve broken glass.

“baby baby relax it’s just me!”

“REUBEN!” you tried to calm your breathing. “i am going to kill you”

“i’m sorry i’m sorry!” he feels awful but he can’t help but laugh at your reaction a bit. “baby i’m sorry” his hand takes yours as you scowl at him. he kisses your cheek multiple times while apologizing.

“you are so lucky that i missed you”

❥ mickey “fanboy” garcia

believe it or not mickey decided against surprising you in a big way, he was far too tired. when mickey got home to you it was very late at night and he just wanted to hold you. placing his bag quietly down on the edge of the bed, he stripped off his uniform and glances over to you sleeping soundly in bed.

“my love” he whispers softly has you feel him climb into bed with you.

“mickey?” your voice is scratchy then you expected.

“hey baby” he pulls you into his arms. “i’m sorry i took so long” he kisses the side of your head and then your nose.

“i missed you”

“i missed you too, now go back to sleep you can process that i’m here in the morning”

“mmm okay” you feel sleep take hold of you once again as you close your eyes. you think about how mickeys finally home and a warmth spreads across your chest. he’s home with you.

you move your hand to hold mickeys and squeeze it gently before kissing it softly. he chuckles quietly.

“goodnight honey”

❥ javy “coyote” machado

“javy?”

“ta da!” javy stands in the doorway with his arm opened.

“javy!” you shout booking it across the living room into his opened arms. “you’re back so early!”

“i wanted to surprise you of course” he squeezes you tightly and takes in your scent.

“you smelling me again weirdo?”

“..no” you laugh at his hesitation. javy has always had this weird thing about how you smell, he says it’s comforting and he wishes it was a candle that he could light. you call him a weirdo.

“you weirdo!”

“okay okay, yes but i missed you and you smell amazing!” you chuckle at him.

“i missed you too” he pulls away to look at you and moves some hair out of your face to kiss you gently. his kisses always have made you feel weightless. gosh you missed his kisses so much and him i guess.

before you can be completely lost in your own thoughts javy scoops you up to take you to the bedroom so you can show him how much you truly missed his kisses.

please reblog to show support ✧·˚ ༘ * ༄

.love always <3 pearl

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snek-panini · 25 days

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It's been a month since Binderary ended but I've still got books to share! This is @worse0mens's (hi!) wonderful Good Omens series, The Blossom Realm, which starts with Omens of Another Kind. This is very much a longtime favorite of mine, an AU with a really compelling combo of worldbuilding and characterization. This is a believable grand romance that's also a court drama and a fairy tale, and it's really long (the full series is about 220k words) so it will keep you reading for a long time. This is one of the fics I learned bookbinding for, and it was the first really long fic that I typeset (and redid once I learned more about typesetting). It's been a long road but it was so worth it.

More photos under the cut!

Couple of photos of the spines. The series doesn't divide easily, with one very long work, one medium-length one, and several shorter pieces. The main story is nearly 200k on its own, the longest single volume I've ever made (about 500 pages), and I was worried about it getting too unwieldy, so I put all the other works into their own volume of about 100 pages. They make a disparate set but I love them. The cover is done in skiver green faux leather from Hollander's; I've never worked with this brand before but I loved it, and one sheet was big enough to do both books. The titles are done in cricut brand gold foil htv. There were some issues with that, as I'd bought a multi-pack with a few different colors and only found out after applying the front cover graphics on both books that one, I didn't have enough to do the backs and spines; two, that the gold in that pack is a totally different color than the gold they sell on its own; and three, that no one in my area stocked it anymore and I had to order it from Europe. Here's what the back looks like:

It's the same graphic as the front but without the title in the center, and it's one of the fanciest backs I've ever done and it took forever to weed all those little cutouts. The graphic was free to use on rawpixel. The font I used on the spines and front is a basic Microsoft font called Harrington that worked incredibly well on the cricut, even at small sizes; a lot of basic fonts are too thin, especially fancy ones, so this was a delightful surprise.

Photo of the top, with ribbon bookmark and handmade double core endbands. The endbands didn't come out as well as I'd have liked; they're a little uneven and the color changes aren't that evenly spaced. Double core ones are harder than I expected and I need more practice. The endpapers are chocolate silk moire, and I chose them because there's a very important massive tree in the fic and I thought they looked like wood grain. I did a little experimenting with the shorter volume that's visible around the edges of the endpaper. I wanted gilded edges but the longer book had to be rounded, and I thought I'd try paint instead of foil since I don't know how to foil a curved edge. But I did my experiments on the smaller volume and I couldn't get good coverage, so the edge had to be trimmed off. The watered-down paint had leaked into the edge of the silk moire too far for me to trim, so it's still there. But it's kind of pretty, so I'm going to call it an aesthetic choice.

The title pages are the same, with free graphics from rawpixel. I got lucky and found a similar set of roses that I used for the chapter headers:

These had to be positioned by hand for each chapter so they'd fit around the text properly. It was a pain but they look so pretty. The final photo contains a story spoiler, so proceed with caution if you don't want that:

The scene break image in both volumes is this tiny snake. This was one of the first aesthetic choices I made for the books. A lot of the plot is centered around a prophecy about a monster snake that everyone thinks will destroy the kingdom, and of course in the manner of Good Omens fic it's a wildly inaccurate misinterpretation and not a threat at all. I wanted something like this because the snake is not only non-threatening but it's been here the entire time and there was never any reason to freak out about it. It was surprisingly difficult to find a snake image that was both simple enough to still be clear at this size and also didn't look dangerous or like a cartoon character. I looked at so many snakes before I found this one, it's ridiculous.

And that's it! I hope the author likes it (and remembers me since I asked to do this almost a year ago). There are three more binderary posts forthcoming, though I don't know how long it'll take me to get to them. It was a busy month.

#bookbinding #fanbinding #snek makes books #good omens #fic rec #everyone look at my books they are so pretty #and then go read the fic it's so good omg

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spicyclover · 1 year

Note

Hey! Would you like to write one for Charles where he can't drive his normal car (for whatever reason), so he asks the reader for help, but she's kind of nervous and thinks there will be some judging? 😅

Bad Tooth

Summary: A dentist appointment and a ride home.

Hope you’ll enjoy this part. Let me know in the comments section! And to support me by tipping me!

Little information, I will, for now, only post on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

Thank you, and Enjoy! :)

Lots of love, xxx Spicy Clover

If there's one thing Charles doesn't like, it is the dentist. He hates it. Even as a child, he would do anything to not go. But after spending a week with an abominable toothache, he is unfortunately forced to.

To be honest, you forced him. You couldn’t take off his complaints anymore, all day, and after treating him like a baby so he’d understand, he finally made an appointment.

So that’s why you find yourself in the dentist’s parking lot arguing for Charles to get out of the car.

"Charles, please can we get out?"

"No, I feel way better now."

"That's a lie. You know it. I know it. Everybody knows it. Do I have to take you by the hand like the child you are?" He evaluates your proposition before saying anything else.

"That's not fair," he wines before getting out of the car, acting like the child he is.

You chuckle a bit before following his step to the dentist's office. You waited for a few minutes before the dentist was ready to see Charles. Before going, he looks at you with puppy eyes, imploring you to say something. But you just rolled your eyes and pushed him to the man.

The appointment took longer than expected, and you start to worry. You go up to the receptionist and ask for an update.

"Hi, sorry to bother you, but do you know what going on with M.Leclerc?"

"Give me a minute," You wait by the desk while she goes behind. You’re wondering if what he’s got is worse than you thought. "Thank you for waiting, so Mr. Leclerc is currently under anesthesia, and the dentist is removing two wisdom teeth. The surgery should end in five minutes, and then you can go home."

"Wisdom teeth?"

"Yes, apparently it was quite bad. The doctor will get to you soon."

You thank her and get back to your seat. "So he wasn't pretending... Oops." You might have thought he was lying when he started complaining about it, and you guessed it was one of his many schemes to get your attention. "Well, we can all be wrong sometimes."

The dentist comes to get you several minutes later, and you're now allowed to see Charles. You walk into the room, and you see him totally buzzed out. He's so high right now, and his mouth is like ten times his normal size, and you can't help but laugh a bit.

You take your phone out and capture this unique moment of Charles looking like a squirrel being high on drugs.

"No... no pic... pict... pictures," he mumbles while drooling.

"Sorry, baby, but the others won't believe me if I don't."

"Ha... hate... hate you."

"No, you don't, you love me, and now your teeth won't hurt anymore." You laugh, trying to be positive.

"I lo... I loov live a squerrel.

"Yeah, you do. But I love my squerrel." You chuckle, kissing the top of his head.

"Hate... hate hich."

"Let's go home, baby."

The dentist gives you the last information for the few weeks to come, and you can't help but laugh at Charles's face when he tells him you couldn't eat solid food or make any physical effort for at least the first week. His look was priceless.

You tried to be compassionate, but Charles makes such a big deal when you get yours removed that you can't help but do the same. You texted the entire grid and his family, his face, for at least a few weeks. Was it a low move? Probably. Was it worth it? Totally.

You get back to the car, and Charles hands you his keys. You look at him for ten seconds before realizing he can't drive like this. Your eyes open wide, and you want to protest, but he shushes you. Well, not really, it’s more drool than anything, but you understand what he wants.

Your sight and get behind the wheel after setting Charles down. It's his time to laugh. You watch him set his seatbelt and hang on to the door while you start the Ferrari.

"It's not funny."

"Oh, ish funny," he gibberish, half joking, half whining by the pain. "Chart ye engine, bae."

You press the button, but nothing happens. You press it again, and nothing. You frustrated yourself, wishing you had taken your normal car.

"hress the hedal."

You start the car and press the pedal but nothing.

"Hress the hedal!"

"That's what am doing!" You say annoying.

"Hress the rite hepal."

You do as he says, and the engine finally goes on. You smile, looking at Charles, thinking it's now only a matter of going home, but no. You try to change the gear, and the car stalls. Charles giggles, completely high by his meds, while you start again and try to get to first gear.

It's gonna be a long ride, you start thinking. You're not even out of the parking, and it's already a nightmare. You complain about the car and look at Charles, who's entirely soon out.

You arrive at the parking doors and start going in the street. You're way lower than the permit limitation, and Charles encourages you to go faster. You're so nervous that you don't even realize you’re holding the wheel with all your might. How Charles trusts you enough with his car in this city?

"Ou doing reat, bae!" Says Charles putting his hand and yours.

It's only then, that you realize the grip you have on the wheel.

"reath." He inspires and exhales at the same time as you.

"I hate this!" You declare when another motorist cuts the road, making you almost have an accident.

You have to brake hard, which makes Charles tighten his teeth, and you know he’s in pain. You apologize to Charles and rant after all the cars you pass.

"God, you must hate me right now. I'm so sorry Cha."

"ish okay. Ou doing reat. Ust ocus on the road." He says, holding on for his life when you almost pass at a red.

"You must thing I drive terribly, but it's your car. Pretty sure something wrong with it." You say, finally pulling in the entry of the complex.

You park the car and finally exhale when the engine stop.

"I'm never doing this again. Next time, we're taking the bus."

Charles chuckles and takes your hand. He leans on you, and you walk to the elevator. Once home, Charles went to rest, and you spent the rest of the afternoon worrying that he might not trust you again with his car.

You prepared his dinner, and his drug wore off after his nap. He still looks like a squirrel, but at least he's not high anymore. You gave him his soup, and he frowns when he says your right hand completely eating up to the flesh.

"Baby. What happen?"

"What?"

"Your nails."

"It's nothing. I had an anxiety episode after we came home."

"Why?"

"Well, I almost killed us."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your car, Charles."

"Oh," he laughs. "You did truly amazing, amour. "I mean you need practice, but you did Wonderfull and we are here, and safe. You should have to wake me."

You smile and hug him tight. Even in your darkest days, he sees your potential and always encourages you to go beyond your limits. You don’t know what you did to deserve him, but you love him. You want to kiss him so badly, but that will wait until he recovers.

"I'm never going back to the dentist," complains Charles taking the pain killers. "It's the worst day of my life."

You laugh and give him the ice for his swollen cheek.

"Did you post the photos?"

"I did." You says, taking your phone out to show him.

It's only then you realize that you didn't send the photos to the group chat but to your Instagram story...

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fluff #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 #f1 fluff #fluff

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hearts4youz · 4 months

Text

The Captains Daughter: Chapter 16

A/N: finally, a chapter worth posting. This one is so much better than the last two or three i've posted. Sorry guys, I've totally lost track of time, its been two weeks since the last chapter ive posted... this is a longer one so hopefully it will suffice. Thank yall so much for reading, feedback is much appreciated :)

Taglist: @abbiesxox @n30n-j3lly @weird-katthing @kayoyamamegame @kroowonderemporium @astro-ghoul99

word count: 1.3k

Reader pov:

You and your father have silently agreed to just let go of what happened during the commute to the grocery store. The two of you have not talked about the topic since, and you were grateful for it. You headed for the doors to get outside the base, as you had decided earlier that a morning run should do the trick for your sluggish start to the day. It seems you had woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Barely making conversation at breakfast, feeling irritated and put off by everything. Even the sound of Gaz breathing when you sat next to him in the mess hall made you want to choke him out.

You breathed in deeply, savoring the crispy winter air as it's freezing tendrils circled your lungs. You sighed and were about to get moving when you heard a gruff noise behind you.

It was Ghost, clearing his throat.

You turned towards him, a quizzical look crossing your features.

"I've tracked you across the whole bloody base," he said, in a gravely, morning voice.

"And?" You said, annoyed. You didn't feel like talking to anyone not even your mysterious crush.

"And, a good soldier should know to watch their damn six."

"Yeah, in the field," you roll your eyes.

"Someone's pissy this morning, I thought we were on good terms now?" He chuckled

"I just... sorry- you didn't do anything wrong-" he cut you off.

"I know," he smirked.

"... just bad nights sleep I guess," you glared, finishing your sentence.

"Where are you headed?" his voice softened slightly, but his gaze still remained rigid and judgy.

"Out for a run."

"You don't mind if I join do you?"

You raised and eyebrow at his suggestion

"What? i'm not supposed to be friendly with my teammates ever?"

"I-I...no...I don't mind," you said skeptically.

The two of you took off at a quick pace, you were surprised that the lieutenant could keep up despite the skull balaclava covering his nose and mouth, as well as his large, toned build.

"You run often?" you ask.

"Mmm... when I was a kid I got in trouble a lot. I had to make a quick getaway sometimes."

"Who was chasing you... the law?"

"Eh, sometimes," he said, nonchalantly.

"Well, what kind of trouble?" you asked, not knowing whether to be concerned or intrigued.

"Dumb, teenage shit. You know, smashing windows... drinking... smoking, anything to get me out of the house really. I matured eventually."

"And now your in the military, the irony," you paused. "You know, I really wouldn't have guessed that you were so... unruly as a kid, Mister 'im so strict and tough," you laughed.

He gave a chuckle in response.

"Mhm, my teenage years were pretty lawless... probably can't say the same for you, Price's kid," he smirked.

"Ah you got me there... I did get into a little trouble though."

"Really...?"

"I dabbled with boys mostly..."

This made Simon's heart rate quicken, the thought of you with other guys, but then he reminded himself that you were a teenager at the time.

"Boys? I'm sure the captain wasn't very fond of that"

"Oh hell no... he always chased 'em away. I never could keep a boyfriend for very long. No matter how secretive I was he always found out."

Noted Ghost thought to himself.

Ghost laughs, "Yup, sounds like ol' cap."

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence for a few minutes as Ghost thinks about your love life.

"You...you don't happen to have any of those men in your life now... do you?" he asks quietly.

"I uhm....uh...well... no," You respond, a bit flustered.

"Good, otherwise i'd have to tell cap" He added, voice stronger and more confident while trying to play the question off as a joke.

You two were almost back to the base now, as you finished at the doors Ghost spoke up again as he swung the door open for you.

"It's about time for our daily training now, good timing."

You nodded as you stepped through the door into the pleasantly warm building. You walked down to the training facilities with him.

"Lets do some lifting," Ghost suggested.

You groaned in protest, dragging your feet as your lieutenant led you into the gym. You went through a few sets, bench press, curls, a few ab exercises, and finally some squats. By the time you were ready to start squatting, your body was exhausted, especially your legs considering you ran beforehand. Ghost looked at you with a slight bit of sympathy.

"Lets just do two sets of eight for this one alright Y/N?"

"Thank you, G-Ghost," you sputtered as you struggled to keep the bar level as you got into your first squat.

You wobbled, your legs quivered as you raised yourself back up into a standing postion.

One

You shook even more on the way down the second time, Ghost noticed this and left the wall he was leaning up against. He stood behind you with his hands open, ready to steady the bar if needed.

down, up

Two

By the third rep, the bar was so far away from being level on your shoulders your whole body tipped to the right. Luckily, Ghost caught you and lifted the bar off your shoulders before you could fall. He put the bar back on the rack and took a few pounds off of it while you sat down for a moment.

"If you're not okay enough to finish we can be done here," Ghost told you. His words were sympathetic but his voice was void of emotion, it was hard to gauge weather he was disappointed in your failure to finish the set or if he was concerned for you.

Ghost pov:

Goddamnit, she totally felt that.

I stood in front of Y/N while she sat down for a moment to catch her breath. I had to get the bar off of her before she hurt herself, but in the process I had pressed myself against her by accident. Which in return gave me a little problem... down there. Forever grateful to my mask for saving my ass once again, I tried to exert calmness towards Y/N while she rested. I desperately hoped that she would be done now that she was almost crushed by the weight.

"No, I'd like to finish out the set at least," she responded to my question.

"You sure? no shame in calling it quits to avoid injury," I responded in a warmer tone than before.

"Yeah, I've got it," she reassured me, more strength in her voice now.

Again, I positioned myself behind her to spot her. Only this time, a half step further back, not forgetting about my hard on. I'm not going to lie, It was tough to just stand there silently while she got her reps in. All I wanted to do was praise her, to tell her what a good job she was doing. I wanted to see her smile when I told her she did something right, I just wanted to make her happy.

"Good work," I managed to say when she got all eight reps in.

She told me goodbye and turned to leave. I watched her walk away, she took a few steps before I couldn't help myself.

"Wait!"

She turned around.

"I enjoyed running with you this morning... really- it was nice. Thank you for letting me go with you."

Her face broke into a genuine smile.

"Thank you for coming with me, it was nice to see you more informal... you know, outside of all the work stuff."

When she walked off again, I couldn't help but get all giddy and boyish. I felt like a teenager swooning over his crush at school.

fucking hell, Y/N enjoyed my company.

Reader pov:

When you left the gym and were sure that no one could see you, you damn near squealed for joy.

He liked running with me!

Ghost

My lieutenant

The guy I like

#captain price #cod 141 #ghost x reader #cod mw2 #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost cod #cod ghost #task force 141 #cod x reader #ghost call of duty #ghost smut #ghost simon riley #simon riley #ghost mw2 #dad!price #gaz cod #soap mactavish #john soap mactavish

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emotionallychargedtowel · 5 months

Text

The psychological paradoxes of Utsukushii Kare, part 1: Covert grandiosity and finding status through idealization

I’ve had some thoughts about Utsukushii Kare bouncing around in my head since the end of season 2. I started to post about them back then but my first attempts stalled out. Maybe the ideas involved were too complex, or I just needed to let them marinate a bit longer. I tried to give up on getting them on “paper,” but they just wouldn’t leave me alone. Eventually I returned to them and everything clicked. This is part one of my attempt to get those ideas down. After a ridiculous amount of tinkering, it seems like the right time to let it see the light of day. Subsequent posts are in different stages of readiness as well.

I wouldn’t have finished this without copious encouragement and feedback from @lurkingshan and specific edits from @wen-kexing-apologist. A kind comment from @nieves-de-sugui was a shot in the arm. And I’m always indebted to @porridgefeast for support, encouragement, and cute animal content.

I’ve written a lot about this series in the past; refer to my Utsukare master post for a continuously updated list. This includes some related posts on pursuer/distancer dynamics and attachment style in the series that have some overlap with what I’m discussing here, but this post should also stand on its own quite well.

A few things to note at the outset:

My focus here is on the series (both seasons), but I will refer to the movie, the novel, and a couple of vignettes when they illustrate points that are consistent with and relevant to the series.

My approach in this series of posts involves viewing fictional characters the way I would if they were real people--a bit like if I were to do a case conceptualization of a potential client. This isn’t always the approach I use, or the best one, but I thought it was a good fit for what I wanted to discuss here.

Quotes will be cited, but general information on sources will be given at the end of the post.

Now, to get down to business.

* * * * * * *

I’ve seen a lot of commentary from other Utsukare fans about Hira and Kiyoi and how much their self-worth–and the lack thereof–impacts their relationship. It’s a clear theme and lots of folks have had salient insights about it. But one thing I haven’t seen in any of the posts I’ve read is a full acknowledgement of the duality at play there–the way that both characters sometimes believe, or at least fear, that they’re irredeemably awful and at the same time believe, or perhaps hope, that they are better than everyone else.

I’m sure someone reading this is thinking, ��Kiyoi is like that, sure. But Hira? Thinking he’s superior? Come on.” I get that it isn’t always apparent. In a genre that loves to portray profoundly smitten, devoted characters, Hira stands out as intensely, even excessively, whipped. But yes, Hira totally sees himself as superior to others in some important ways. Even before Noguchi Hiromi took his inventory about this so mercilessly, there were plenty of other signs.

covert grandiosity and idealization

Our introduction to Hira is his description of the “pyramid” social structure he experiences at school and how he’s at the lowest level of that pyramid (invisible at best, a visible target at worst). At first glance, this seems self-deprecating. But Hira is just describing where he falls in the structure, not endorsing the structure or his place in it. This sets up an important distinction that comes up continually in Hira’s thinking. Sometimes he really thinks badly of himself. But other times, he’s reporting how, in his view at least, others think of him. Sometimes he’s resigned to the ways others see him, but other times, he rebels against them. He doesn’t always make it clear which of these things he’s doing at a given time, but if you know what to look for it starts to be easier to pick out.

Mind you, it’s still very clear that there are ways in which Hira does view himself extremely negatively. His belief that he’s unworthy of Kiyoi is particularly strong. It inspires a lot of demeaning metaphors about himself, like calling himself a “pebble.” His belief in his unworthiness is linked to the belief that Kiyoi can’t possibly return his feelings or that if he does, it’s a bizarre miracle that can’t possibly last over the long term. The most remarkable thing about this belief is its incredible persistence, even in the face of example after example of evidence that Kiyoi loves and values him too and wants them to stay together. But denigrating himself in this context has a different meaning from what it would in others, as I'll get into in more detail shortly.

It’s a pretty universal human tendency to pay more attention to information that confirms our biases than information that challenges them. We’re also hard-wired to be more attentive to perceived threats (including threats to our sense of self-worth) than we are to less threatening things (and ideas). Both of these tendencies contribute to the fact that most of us fail to notice when our negative beliefs are being disproven.

I’ll be discussing this in more depth in part 2, but for now, I’ll just say that resistance to disproving a negative belief is very normal, but Hira’s stubbornness is way beyond what’s typical. He continually misinterprets or simply ignores clear signs of Kiyoi’s interest in and regard for him. I mean, most of us, no matter how poor our self-esteem is, no matter how jaded and pessimistic we are, would, if kissed by someone we’re in love with, at least entertain the possibility that they might like us a little bit. Not only does Hira not consider this possibility, he comes up with the rather bizarre interpretation that the graduation day kiss was Kiyoi’s way of telling him to leave him alone.

So, why would anyone be as stubbornly negative on this point as Hira is? Part of it is the strength of his negative beliefs and the degree of his bias. But there’s another reason as well, one I’m going to circle back to in a moment.

First, let’s look at Noguchi’s assessment of Hira in season 2, episode 4, which is very pertinent here. Talking about Hira’s submission to the Young Photographica contest, Noguchi says:

It was such a childish photo. You should've just chosen an empty place rather than erasing people. Going out of your way to [erase] people made it very clear that you hate this world. What I felt from your photo was tremendous selfishness and disgust. You haven't succeeded at all, but you think you're amazing. But instead of showing it outright, you make a shell by belittling yourself. You look down on this world with youth, stupidity, and ambiguity….You're just like the old me.

(dialogue from Viki subtitles)

It’s a little bit of a stretch, I think, to suggest that Noguchi can really tell all of this just by looking at a single photo (or even Hira’s entire portfolio). I think this partly happens just for the convenience of the story. But if I had to justify it, I’d say Noguchi has this much insight because, as he says, he used to be like Hira, making this a “takes one to know one” situation.

Hira confirms that Noguchi is correct here. “It’s like he sees right through me,” he thinks. So how do we reconcile this with Hira’s apparent negative self-image? Well, first off, it’s not unusual at all for very negative and excessively positive beliefs about the self to coexist in the same person. Take narcissism for example. People tend to think of narcissists as grandiose, thinking they’re amazing and special to a degree that’s clearly distorted. And that is one of the key symptoms of narcissism. But it’s also typical for narcissists to believe that if they aren’t remarkably special, they’re totally worthless. They have a hard time sitting with moderate (hence realistic) beliefs about themselves.

This kind of narcissistic tendency is really strong in people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but it’s present in a milder version in a lot of people (I suspect it’s present in most people, to some extent and under certain circumstances). Narcissistic personality traits are supposed to be linked to getting stuck at a developmental stage that ideally gets worked through during childhood. But a lot of us have at least a little bit of unfinished business from that period. I think Hira has a ton of unresolved stuff in this area. I definitely don’t think he would meet criteria for NPD. But I think that when he was in that developmental stage, he came up with some maladaptive strategies that helped him to get through it. As a result, he didn’t get stuck in the full-blown grandiose version of NPD, but he did get stuck with those maladaptive strategies, and they became a part of his personality instead. And he did retain 1) some of that highly polarized idea of self-worth (“I’m either the best ever or complete garbage”) and 2) some degree of belief in his superiority to others, no matter how shameful he finds it or how carefully he conceals it.

It’s also worth noting here that adolescents aren’t typically supposed to be diagnosed with personality disorders and even diagnosing young adults is often discouraged. This is because adolescence and early adulthood are times of intense change and development and the natural process of maturing can cause personality disorder symptoms to resolve even without mental health treatment. So that’s yet another reason to be wary of labeling Hira with any such diagnosis. This points to a major theme of the show, which is the fact that the central characters are works in progress. They aren’t fully formed adults yet, and that gives them a chance to improve themselves before they become set in their ways.

Getting back to Noguchi’s points: Hira is pretty misanthropic, although it’s often shown in pretty subtle ways in the show. This aspect of Hira is more noticeable in the novel. For one thing, the novel establishes early on that the erasing-people-from-photos thing isn’t some new or isolated phenomenon. Rather, the main thing Hira does with his camera at the beginning of the story is to intentionally take photos of populated areas and then carefully photoshopping out all of the people. And it’s explicitly because he dislikes, even hates, most of humanity. This tendency still comes through in the series. Sometimes it’s obvious–remember those mass shooting fantasies?--and other times, it’s more subtle. We know that this aspect of the character is definitely still present in the series version of Hira since he confirms what Noguchi says about how his photo shows “selfishness and disgust.” He really is disgusted by many of the people around him.

making a shell - perfectionism and covert grandiosity

What about the part of Noguchi’s spiel where he says that Hira “make[s] a shell by belittling [himself]?” It took me some thinking to realize what (in my view) he meant by that.

This actually syncs up really well with something Noguchi says about Hira in Utsukushii Kare: Eternal. It’s illuminating enough that I’m making an exception here to confining myself to the time period of the series.

In this scene, Kiyoi is scheduled to be photographed by Noguchi on a day that Hira isn’t present at his studio. He asks about Hira and he and Noguchi talk about him briefly. Hearing that Kiyoi was Hira’s high school classmate, Noguchi talks about how weird and confining high school is, a terrible “environment for growth.” He says that doesn’t apply to Hira, though, because he’s “a king in sheep’s clothing.” This catches Kiyoi’s attention. “I was just thinking that you understand him really well,” he tells Noguchi. “I do,” Noguchi replies. “Although he looks timid and weak, he’s actually really strong.”

As Noguchi continues, his comments become more metaphorical and get harder to understand. (I suspect that the metaphors he uses might be idiomatic or otherwise intelligible to a Japanese audience in a way that’s difficult to get across in translation.) The gist is that he sees Hira as “strong-minded,” but that “in his heart” he has a kind of “sanctuary” that he protects from others, and that this could end up either holding Hira back or being something he can use to get somewhere in life. I’m not sure what to make of the sanctuary part, but it’s clear that Noguchi understands that Hira has thoughts and emotions that he doesn’t share with anyone, and that his image as a “sheep” who is “timid and weak” masks an unseen strength and determination, along with a more king-like attitude toward the world than he typically shows to others.

Time for a quick psychological theory sidebar, this time on perfectionism.

Some researchers who study perfectionism have identified a type they call “narcissistic perfectionism.” Narcissistic perfectionists think that they are, or need to be, perfect, and they expect others to be the same way, thinking about them in highly negative ways if they don’t measure up. If you read about this idea, most of the examples given to illustrate it are people who have achieved a lot in their lives, who can point to big accomplishments. But perfectionism doesn’t always result in achievements. Sometimes it keeps people stuck in a mindset that anything but perfection is pointless, making them reluctant to really try to do anything at all. If you’re a perfectionist who has a need to believe you’re special, that you would achieve big things if you tried, actually trying means taking a risk that you’ll find out that when you try, the results aren’t actually perfect and amazing.

According to narcissistic thinking, this would mean that you’re worthless, because the options are either being the best or being complete garbage. Again, I think it’s an overstatement and an oversimplification to call Hira a narcissist, but he has unresolved self-worth baggage that takes a somewhat narcissistic shape. In this way, he shows a kind of perfectionism that seems clearly underpinned by his self-worth issues. Instead of fueling achievements, this perfectionism keeps him stuck, inactive, too afraid to attempt what he thinks he might be able to do while clinging to a fantasy of what he could do if he ever got un-stuck and really tried.

That’s usually a secret. Remember when Hira didn’t make it through the first cut of the contest? He thought, “Even though I always deny it out loud, I did think photography was the one thing I can do. It felt like I was being ripped apart for being conceited" (dialogue from a fansub by @lollipopsub). The fact that he would "deny it out loud" is notable. I also think that he’s still not being entirely candid. If he thought “photography was the one thing [he] can do,” that wouldn’t exactly be “conceited”--it would actually be quite modest (about photography) and harshly self-critical (about everything else). I think deep down he has thoughts that are truly conceited, thoughts that he’s not just competent when it comes to photography, but “amazing,” as Noguchi puts it. Once again, Hira confirms everything Noguchi said with his “he sees right through me” reaction, so he agrees with this assessment.

This conceited side of Hira is never supposed to see the light of day. This is the main reason he’s so intensely embarrassed when Noguchi understands him so well, I think. It’s what Noguchi is talking about when he says that Hira “make[s] a shell by belittling [him]self.” Acting as if he’s the lowest of the low is a defense. It does correspond to the part of himself that fears, at times even believes, that he’s worthless. But it’s also a way of hiding his grandiose side. This is a way of protecting himself from the reaction others would have if they could see how highly he thinks of himself despite not having made enough effort to accomplish the sorts of things he thinks he’s capable of. It’s also a way of protecting himself from his own awareness of his shortcomings and pretensions.

There’s another type of perfectionism researchers have identified, called “covert perfectionism,” in which the person’s outward expectations of others are low and they don’t show their perfectionistic traits outwardly very much, if at all. They’re supposed to be more likely than some types to get trapped in the kind of stuckness I mentioned earlier, in which perfectionism prevents the person from making a real effort at things they would like to do well. In some important ways, Hira’s perfectionism resembles this type as well. You could say that his type of perfectionism has definite narcissistic attributes, but he hides it well enough that it is also covert.

A number of different articles on perfectionism that I looked at cited the same Brene Brown quote about it, from her book The Gifts of Imperfection. I think it’s very salient here. She writes:

Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.

This is very characteristic of Hira. He doesn’t expect to “look perfect” in most respects (he’s more likely to simply try to go unnoticed). But he is obsessed with avoiding those painful emotions. He has spent his entire life being shamed and judged and living in fear of it happening still more. He’s very strategic and has given a lot of thought to how best to avoid being shamed. In fact, these efforts seem to be part of the reason he is such an avid observer of the social structures around him–learning about those structures is a survival skill for him.

idealization and affiliation: borrowing status

In addition to factoring in his covert grandiosity, I think there’s something else to account for when looking closely at Hira’s apparent self-hatred. Hira’s self-critical tendencies can appear inflated if we lump examples that pertain to his relationship with Kiyoi in with other cases. They should actually be looked at separately, because their meanings are distinctly different. Again, I don’t contest that Hira has a low opinion of himself in a lot of respects. But I think when we step back and look at many of the biggest examples of what appears to be a negative view of himself, a lot of them are focused on where he stands in relation to Kiyoi. That’s not the same thing as his value as a person. And placing himself in a certain role in relation to Kiyoi has a specific kind of meaning for him, along with a specific kind of payoff.

Here comes another theoretical interlude. This time, I’m going to briefly touch on Heinz Kohut’s idea of the need for idealization.

Kohut was the originator of a school of thought called self psychology, a branch of psychoanalysis that underpins a lot of contemporary psychoanalytic/psychodynamic theory and practice. He was also an expert on narcissism and basically saw variations and degrees of narcissism as central to a lot of psychological challenges. (There’s some reason to believe Kohut may himself have had narcissistic personality disorder, which would have made him intimately familiar with its inner workings.)

Kohut’s self psychology departed from Freud’s whole psychosexual development model (basically, everyone’s least favorite aspect of Freudianism—the part with all the penis envy and Oedipal stuff and so forth). In its place, self psychology focuses on how we see ourselves, what our needs are in terms of self-image, and other matters that are very relevant to this discussion. One of Kohut’s most important insights was his observation that even when other people have a big impact on our psychological state, what we’re interacting with isn’t so much the other person themselves but our internalized idea of that person. Kohut called internalized versions of people and things from our external world “selfobjects.” (I’ll be circling back to this momentarily.)

One of Kohut’s most central concepts is idealization. In Kohut’s version of idealization, a person views someone else as basically perfect, maybe even omnipotent. The idealized person becomes a special kind of selfobject. In the best case scenario, the person doing the idealizing has some kind of real, personal connection to the idealized person. But even a mental connection to them via their status as a selfobject can meet a need in some ways.

By feeling connected to, or even just affiliated with, the idealized person, the idealizer feels like they take on some degree of the qualities they see in the idealized person. It’s not hard to see how this tendency would date back to childhood. Children have a particular need to idealize their parents at certain stages in their development. Thinking of their parents as strong, capable, in control, wise, calm, etc. gives children a sense of safety and a sort of borrowed self-esteem.

Once you’ve idealized someone, you feel a real need to continue to see them as special and powerful. Again, childrens’ views of their parents are a good example here. One reason children often blame themselves when they are neglected or abused is because they have a strong need to continue to view their parents favorably. Without that favorable view of their parent, their world would seem chaotic and dangerous. Blaming themselves often seems safer. Here, maintaining the high status of the idealized person is so important that it’s a bigger priority than preserving self-worth.

I bet you can guess where I’m going with this. Yep, Hira idealizes Kiyoi in the Kohutian sense of the word. There are a number of facets of this. Part of it involves viewing Kiyoi as basically perfect–outstanding in every way. Even when Hira sees Kiyoi as cruel, he seems to view this as an ideal attribute for someone like Kiyoi.

Hira not only states that he thinks of Kiyoi as “like a God" in season 1, episode 6, he frequently expects Kiyoi to have god-like qualities and abilities. In one of Nagira Yuu's shorter pieces about Hira and Kiyoi that's told from Hira's perspective, he's explicit about this. "Kiyoi's existence is already in a much higher dimension than human beings," he thinks. "Is he the successful fusion of deity and human? That is the big question" ("Wonderful World," as translated by @sparkling-rain). At points during the series, he expects Kiyoi to have a superhuman degree of freedom to do anything he wishes and to know things that would require him to read Hira's mind. He really does treat him as if he’s practically omnipotent.

Hira's idealization of Kiyoi has a number of implications. One is that Hira misunderstands the social structure at his school. He views Kiyoi as the unquestioned king and doesn’t see that in many ways, Kiyoi makes choices about how to behave in school out of a desire to stay on the good side of bullies like Shirota. This fundamental misunderstanding in turn makes it impossible for Hira to notice or understand all the ways Kiyoi tries to protect him at school. If Kiyoi were really at the peak of the school hierarchy, if he wanted to be nice to Hira, he would just do it. But because he has to maintain a certain image in order to keep himself safe, he has to help Hira in covert ways. For example, when Kiyoi admonishes Yoshida not to order Hira around or use his demeaning, ableist nickname, he makes it seem like he just wants Hira to be at his beck and call, which wouldn’t be possible if he were occupied doing tasks for others. But if that were the case, why would he object to Yoshida using the nickname? For that matter, why doesn’t Kiyoi ever use the nickname himself? (He says it aloud in his exchange with Yoshida, but he never actually uses it to address Hira.) If Hira weren’t so invested in the idea of Kiyoi’s supreme power, he might have noticed these disparities between his narrative and reality within the story.

In season 2, the fact that Hira is both someone who has a relationship with Kiyoi and at the same time is a fan of Kiyoi as a performer points out another aspect of idealization. While I’ve never seen Kohut’s concept of idealization applied to fandom, I think there’s at least a variation of it at play when we feel comforted by, or as if we gain status from, being a fan of a person (or a group, piece of media, etc.) that we see as special or powerful. When we get excited because the sports team we root for does well or our favorite actor wins an award or is in a movie or show that does well, I think we’re experiencing a kind of gratification based on a selfobject that we feel is ideal in some way. Our status as fans gives us an affiliation that feels similar to a real connection. (Parasocial relationships are related to this as well–something that’s likely to resonate with those of us who participate in BL fandom, where examples of parasocial relationships abound.)

So both as a fan and as a classmate, then a (sort of) friend, then a boyfriend, Hira gets a great deal of satisfaction and happiness from idealizing Kiyoi and feeling like he has a kind of tie to him. This is completely interwoven with the love he feels for Kiyoi in the beginning. But it also makes it very difficult for him to acknowledge the ways in which Kiyoi doesn’t actually resemble his initial, idealized selfobject of him. Kiyoi isn’t omnipotent. He was never actually the most powerful person in their high school class. In many ways, he’s actually a better person than his selfobject version. Although Kiyoi isn’t the nicest person ever, he’s not nearly as cruel as the cold, imperious figure Hira paints him as.

Sometimes Hira chooses this selfobject over Kiyoi the human being, and Kiyoi knows it. In season 1, episode 4, when Hira starts to get close to Kiyoi but then backs off, protesting that he’s just a “servant” and Kiyoi is his “king,” Kiyoi responds by telling him (in the Viki subtitle translation), “I don’t care if you chase your ideal of me, but leave the real me alone.” This dynamic, of course, is a huge theme in their relationship that continues all the way to the end of season 2 and beyond.

Those are some of the ways in which Hira insists on maintaining his idealized selfobject of Kiyoi. But there’s another way he clings to this idealization, which I think is harder to see at first: in order for Kiyoi to be elevated, Hira has to be beneath him. This is actually one of the most paradoxical parts of this paradoxical structure, because in Hira’s view, he has to be beneath Kiyoi in order for Kiyoi to be exalted, but by exalting Kiyoi, Hira’s status is raised. It sounds strange at first, but it’s not a new idea. The notion of humbly dedicating oneself to someone or something that you uphold as an ideal sounds like an act of self-abnegation, but in the minds of those who take on such a role, by affiliating themselves with this perfect person or thing, some of the magical aura of that perfection rubs off on them.

It’s a bit like members of the clergy in the past (in a Christian/European context), who were known to humble themselves completely, taking vows of poverty, depriving themselves in various ways, even mortifying their flesh. Through these humbling acts, these people were seen by themselves and others as closer to God than an ordinary person, potentially as a channel to God–even as someone who could actually speak for God. By humbling themselves and exalting their ideal, they became something greater than they would ever have been capable of being on their own. Hira’s approach is remarkably similar. In keeping with his description of Kiyoi as a kind of god, he talks about wanting to be a “nun.” (As I understand it, he’s describing a role more like that of a shrine maiden in Shintoism than a nun in any Christian tradition, but there’s enough similarity in those roles to justify the translation.) Basically, if you make your ideal person perfect enough, then even being their servant gives you a lot of status, especially if you’re their most devoted, indispensable servant.

I’m reminded of a passage from the novel here. In the novel version of the story, Kiyoi visits Hira at his new home. A different situation than the one in the series has led to him living alone for the first time, and as in the series, Kiyoi uses his need for a rehearsal space as an excuse to visit Hira there. The situation is somewhat different from the series, but similar in essentials. Hira and Kiyoi have a conversation that leads to an exchange that is equivalent to the conversation that takes place right after the finger incident in the series. In the novel, this scene is portrayed from Kiyoi’s point of view; anything in italics is his internal dialogue. (The ellipsis below is mine.)

‘What am I to you?’

‘The person I love most in the word.’

It was this firm response that gave Kiyoi courage.

‘Then, do you want to date me?’

Kiyoi felt his face burning. Just say yes. If you do, I’ll be able to be honest too. Kiyoi’s heart was pounding as he waited for Hira’s answer, but the answer he got was something that he hadn’t expected.

‘I don’t want to.’

Kiyoi blinked.

‘Why?’

…

‘Because you’re the king.’

‘Huh?’

Kiyoi’s eyes blinked even faster than before.

‘I mean…Kiyoi is like a king, and I’m merely an ordinary person who serves the king; it’s not like I do it out of obligation, but in my mind, I view myself as Captain Duck…Ah, by Captain Duck, I’m referring to a yellow toy in the shape of a duck that children play with in swimming pools or bathtubs, you know?’

–I know, but what does that have to do with it?

Not caring about Kiyoi, who wanted to ask something, Hira continued to explain about the duck. He kept babbling on and on about how Captain Duck once used to float in the sewage and was now proudly floating down a golden river as a prestigious toy of the king, and it was very satisfied with its current life.

(from this section of White Lotus’s novel translation)

Hira is explicit here about the servant/king relationship he envisions for himself and Kiyoi. But the rubber duck imagery is even more telling. Being a cheap toy, an inanimate object of so little value that it’s almost disposable, is more than enough for Hira as long as he can be associated with Kiyoi–if he can be ‘a prestigious toy of the king.’ Just belonging to Kiyoi, even (or especially?) as an insignificant object, equates to ‘proudly floating down a golden river.’ Again, placing Kiyoi in an exalted position and then abasing himself (while maintaining a link to Kiyoi) is Hira’s way of using idealization to achieve a paradoxical kind of status.

The conflict over Hira’s unrelenting idealization of Kiyoi comes to a head in season 2 when Hira fails to understand why his comment about Kiyoi and his parents having “nothing to do with one another” was hurtful.

Kiyoi: Do you not get how I feel right now?

Hira: I don’t!

Kiyoi: Think about it! If you don’t get it, think! [tapping Hira on the head]

Hira: Sorry.

Kiyoi: I don’t want you to apologize.

Hira: But…you’re mad at me.

Kiyoi: It’s always like this. I get mad, and you take the blame. But in reality you just don’t get it!

Hira: No, I don’t! The stars in the sky and the ones watching them will never align!

Kiyoi: What does space have to do with it?!

Hira: Because you and I are completely different! We’re in different dimensions and on different paths. That’s why stars shine so brightly! If I try to touch it or to understand it, all I’ll do is pull the star down to my level! So what I’m saying is…in reality…I don’t…want to understand you.

(dialogue translated by @lollipopsub)

Hira makes this dynamic very explicit here. It’s not just that he thinks Kiyoi is superior and his role is to serve him. He’s determined to actively resist interacting with Kiyoi on an even playing field. It’s particularly clear when he says, “If I try to touch it or to understand it, all I’ll do is pull the star down to my level.” Seeing things from Kiyoi’s point of view or touching him–metaphorically, and in some ways literally–would “pull [Kiyoi] down to [Hira’s] level.” Instead of raising Hira’s status, this would degrade Kiyoi’s. The distance between Kiyoi and Hira–the lack of understanding and meaningful contact–is (from Hira’s perspective) a feature, not a bug. It’s integral to the gratification Hira experiences when he watches Kiyoi as if he were a star–something both beautiful and trillions of miles away.

One sign of the importance Hira places on Kiyoi’s exalted social status is how irritated, even livid, he gets when other people don’t recognize and behave in accordance with his views on the social hierarchy and where they stand in relation to Kiyoi.

For example, when Shirota and his friends make shitty comments about Kiyoi after he doesn’t win the contest, they’re obviously being assholes. But what bothers Hira most is that they are acting as if Kiyoi failing to win a highly competitive national contest means he’s beneath them, when in fact, it’s unlikely any of them would have qualified as contestants, much less made it to the finals like Kiyoi did. To Hira, it’s their lack of understanding of their place in the hierarchy, their lack of recognition that Kiyoi is above them, that is most damning. Which is legitimately infuriating–they’re being incredibly arrogant. But personally, I think it’s clearly more important that they’re being critical and dismissive of someone they claim is their friend right when he has just gone through something very disappointing. That’s not a big concern for Hira, though. In addition to deriving a kind of status from his association with Kiyoi, he also finds some satisfaction in knowing that while his status in relation to Kiyoi is low, at least he can correctly gauge where he stands, unlike others.

And he seems to relish not only correctly assessing his place in the world but also maintaining a particularly lowly role. This isn’t inherent to idealization, though as I’ll talk about further, this combination of factors isn’t unique to Hira by any stretch. I mentioned that Hira’s perfectionism, among other things, is a way of attempting to, as Brene Brown put it, “avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.” Hira does have some grandiose beliefs about himself, but he also views himself as inferior in many ways. This tension creates the stuckness that often comes with perfectionism, and this blocks Hira from attaining goals that would fuel a more healthy kind of self-esteem. Gaining status through his association with an idealized version of Kiyoi gets around all of these problems.

Hira also seems to view his grandiose thoughts as a sort of jinx, a way of tempting fate. Think back again to his thoughts when he found out that he hadn’t made the first cut in the Young Photographica contest. “It felt like I was being ripped apart for being conceited.” In Hira’s world, having grandiose thoughts–or at least, buying into them–brings punishment. It’s better, and safer, to embrace total abjection. This is one more reason why it seems safest to put Kiyoi on a pedestal while placing himself in the most inferior position possible. At least, this seems safest until Hira realizes he could lose Kiyoi entirely if he doesn’t stop this destructive pattern.

When Hira does finally try to make a shift in how he relates to Kiyoi at the end of season 2, the big gesture he makes toward “look[ing] at [Kiyoi] straight on” is setting, then communicating, the goal of photographing Kiyoi in the role of professional photographer. This is a very appropriate way for him to make this move. Viewing Kiyoi more as an equal means having to relinquish some part of the status and self-worth he borrows from his idealized image of Kiyoi; this is the perfect time, then, for him to find some self-worth of his own by finally putting himself out there as a photographer and making a real effort to test his abilities.

That's it for this installment! I hope to get part 2 posted within the next week. Edited to add, four months later: That was a little unrealistic! But I'm determined to finish it off one of these days.

Edited to add:

Adding an edit here as I noticed what seems like a rather glaring omission. I failed to reference a scene that bears out a lot of what I have to say in this post. It happens when Hira is staying with Noguchi in Eternal. They have this exchange over ramen:

Noguchi: I was just like you in the past. All full of myself and thought that everything I saw was boring. I was always angry and all, "You're all worthless and should disappear!" Hira: I don't think we're alike at all, though. Noguchi: Having too much confidence and having too little confidence, they're two sides of the same paper in the sense that they're both signs of a damaged self-consciousness. Anything could make you switch sides at the drop of a hat.

(Emphasis mine.)

Citations for individual quotes are included with their respective quotes. The following sources were used:

When I quoted series dialogue, I used the wording @lollipopsub used in their (sadly no longer accessible in the US) fansub whenever possible. I lost access to this version so these quotes are from my notes.

I also quoted the Viki subs (which are good, just not quite as good as the ones @lollipopsub made) when needed. On one occasion I used the Viki version because it supported my point better.

When I quoted the novel, I quoted a fan translation by White Lotus featured on a site called Chrysanthemum Garden.

I also briefly quoted a short story translated by @sparkling-rain here.

When I quoted Eternal, I quoted a fansub that (at the subber’s request) will remain nameless.

#utsukushii kare #utsukare #utsukushii kare meta #utsukushii kare analysis #utsukushii kare season 1 #utsukushii kare season 2 #utsukushii kare 2 #utsukushii kare eternal #my beautiful man #hira x kiyoi #psychology of bl #self psychology #heinz kohut #selfobject #covert perfectionism #narcissistic perfectionism #psychological paradoxes of utsukushii kare #hira kazunari

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centralperkchenford · 7 months

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Early dating chenford and Lucy telling Tim he’s the best relationship she’s ever had

I was determined to write something other than military AU! today. And this prompt spoke to me! I hope you enjoy it!

Early dating chenford and Lucy telling Tim he’s the best relationship she’s ever had

We block the noise with the sound of, I need you and for the first time I had something to lose

Lucy turns over in the bed to see Tim looking at her. His eyes are half closed but she knows he’s awake.

“Hey.” She says leaning forward to kiss him softly. He opens his eyes more and puts his large hand on her hip pulling her closer.

“Good morning.” He says back. He traces circles on her the thin fabric of her shorts. “How did you sleep?” She leans forward again and kisses him and then reaches down to grab his hand. She laces her fingers with his and sets them between them.

“Pretty good.” She says. “But I always sleep better with you next to me.”

Tim lets out a long breath and this time he initiates the kiss and it’s longer and harder this time. As if he can’t get enough of her. She knows she will never get enough of him.

She has never felt this way before in a relationship, one where she can be totally open and totally herself without worrying what her partner thought. And she trusts Tim, she trusts him more than anyone. She trusts him with her life out on the streets and she trusts him with her heart.

Every boyfriend before Tim, did things for her because they thought they had to. And they always expected stuff in return. Lucy was always trying to make things right with Chris when she thought she owed him. Tim never made her feel that way, never made her feel like she had to repay him.

He does some many things for her, big and small. He took a desk job so she wouldn’t have to move stations. So they could see each other every day.

He protects her, makes her feel worthy. And even the little things makes her fall for him a little bit more. When he gets up earlier than her, he makes sure to start a pot of coffee for her. He drives her car to get gas when they can’t ride in together.

She thinks back to before they were sleeping together and all the things he did to show her he cared. When he would pick her up at her apartment he would open up her door and give her a small kiss. He would pay for dinner no matter how much she would protest. He would hold her hand all the way to his truck and kiss her up against it. He would let her drag him to the beach no matter how much he didn’t like it. (He told her he liked her more than he hates the beach) and that made her feel all sorts of things.

He respects her and if they ever argued he would give her space and then they would talk it out. Because they were worth it. And Lucy realizes now, they always would be.

“Hey.” Tim says reaching out to cup her face. “What are you thinking about?” Lucy doesn’t answer at first.

She remembers what she told Tamara few days before they slept together for the first time. This is the most amazing relationship I have been in since..ever.”

Lucy chews on her bottom lip as she studies Tim and she runs a finger across his lips. “You always do so much for me. And it’s like you want to do it. It’s not just to make you feel good about yourself.” She says.

Tim reels back a little but then leans in to kiss her. He rests his forehead against hers.

“Of course I do Lucy. You are worth it. Every single day I am with you it just gets better.” He says sincerely. “Every single day.”

Lucy wipes the tears off her cheeks. He smiles at her and then wipes another tear away. She swallows. “No one has ever made me feel this worthy of myself. Like I deserve to be treated good. You are the best relationship I have ever had.”

Tim is silent as he takes in her words and when he doesn’t say anything for awhile, panic seizes her chest afraid that she has said too much.

“Tim—” She begins but he cuts her off and kisses her and then scoots closer so her chest is against his.

“Anyone that has made you feel less than worthy is a asshole. You deserve to see how amazing you are. You deserve to be treated like you are the only girl in the world. And I plan on doing that for as you will have me.” He says. Her eyes full with tears again and she leans forward to put her head on his bare chest. Forever. You will have me forever.

He runs his fingers through her hair gently and softly. He kisses the top of her head as she closes her eyes to the sound of his beating heart.

And the way he’s touching her right now makes her feel all tingly and warm. And she knows with Tim, it will always feel like this.

Best relationship ever.

#chenford #the rookie #tim bradford #chenford fanfic #tim x lucy #lucy chen #chenford fic #anon answered

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delusional-mishaps · 2 years

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Got any bad sanses x reader headcanons??? (Mainly with Nightmare, Error, Killer, Horror, and Dust) I love them all so picking one is hard….is it ok to ask for a possible poly relationship because everyone crushes on Y/N? And they are easily flustered cause they love them all.

bad guys poly!!! bad guys poly!!!! bad guys poly!!!! bad guys poly!!!!!! YEAAAA!!!!!

loosely the part one to the wedding headcanons

so you're like the most protect person in the entire multiverse

also maybe feared??? how'd you get these evil murder men to just follow your every whim???

nah because these mfs will literally do anything for you. A N Y T H I N G. i mean they literally already kill people so they can and will kill someone for you if you wanted.

aero would most likely be the one you started dating first. he caught a glimpse of you once on a mission and thought you were pretty/handsome/attractive/whatever you prefer and was like "woo mama i need to meet that person" and then showed up in your house one time KSNKSC

"i don't remember taking my halloween decorations out??" "awww you think i'm a decoration? am i really pretty enough to be a decoration??" "AHHHH IT TALKS"

and then you threw something at him. he dodged and you two just stared at each other for a few minutes after BAHAHAH

from then it was pretty common to come home to him eating half the junk food in your pantry, legs kicked up and watching whatever trash tv is on. your house is a mess. your life may or may not be in shambles. you don't like him very much.

but he grows on you!

one day he asks you out and at this point you were ACTUALLY starting to like him so you agree to date him

he wanted to try to keep you a secret but he has a big mouth and wanted to gush about you so he accidentally let slip once that he had a partner and everyone was like "oh?????? aero had a partner????? who is it????" because he NEVER gets serious about anyone ever so this is a big deal

and then he's like "hey babe wanna meet my family that's actually other versions of me" and fed up with his shit you say "you're insane" and then he and four others pop by your house and you're like "maybe you're not insane" BAHAHBANSNXK

look at you now you not only have ONE criminally insane skeleton friend but you have FIVE of them!!

eventually you start dating all of them somehow. why would you wanna date these insane little men??? dw i do too they're so silly

some took longer than others (delusion took the longest while pisces took the least amount of time) to get into a relationship with. but not being in a relationship never stopped you from flirting with them <3333

delusion would get the most flustered any time you would flirt with him. aero likes to flirt back and it's real hard to truly fluster him, but sometimes when you're being truly sentimental he'll get all blushy and shy <33 true feelings really get to him :O) don't let him know i told you

sometimes there are spouts of jealousy. despite his distant behaviour, vendetta does like when you hang out with him and he noticed when you hang out with him less than the others. just make sure to spend equal time with your boys <33 it won't totally stop the jealousy but it will certainly help

they are all super possessive of you. like, sometimes frighteningly so. you can't go out anywhere without one of them, and the entire time they'll be GLARING at anyone that even looks at you.

they are all very different lovers so what you can't get from one of them, you may get from another

pisces would be more-so the "gentle lover" out of the five. cuddles and purrs while the two of you lay in bed watching a movie and snacking. he's always making sure you're well-fed and taking care of yourself. he tells you he loves you a lot

grimm likes to treat you like royalty. he likes to spoil you, show you how much you're worth to him through possessions. of course, he can never truly show you just how much you mean to him solely through material gifts, but it's still nice to be pampered. plus your closet is fucking awesome. he sparsely says "i love you", but when he does, he says it with absolute adoration

aero leaves you with quick kisses, fleeting touches and hitched breath. he was the first of the five to get into a relationship with you, and he likes to hold that above everyone's heads. he likes to play tricks on you, but they're never terribly mean, and he always makes it up to you. he only ever says "i love you" when it's just the two of you, when you're alone and focused solely on each other.

vendetta likes to be alone, but he likes you even more than that. if he's having a particularity bad day, he'll search you out and whisk you away. you calm the erraticness of his fucked up soul. he's always been rather shy in public affections, but he won't hesitate to tell you that he loves you no matter who's around.

delusion is an odd one to date. he is very distant, both physically and emotionally. yet, he's entirely devoted to you. he'd burn worlds just to show his love for you. he, like grimm, will shower you in gifts, but his are always handmade. sentimental. he's only ever said "i love you" once. it slipped out once when you did something stupid. he got flustered and you didn't see him for a good few days after that.

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pinkhoneydrop · 10 months

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Its a Game pt.5

[ A/n ] - Hey everyone here is part 5 i hope yall like it! let me know if yall wanna be on the tag list for next part.

[ Pairing ] - Harry Styles x Reader!, Dylan O'Brien x Reader!

[ Genre ] - angst

[ Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 and Part 4 ]

[ Next … part 6 ]

[ Masterlist ]

How did you end up here? Smiling while talking on the phone with Dylan. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You kept having these thoughts linger in the back of your mind. When you would smile at Dylan, and he would laugh. A small part of you wished it were Harry. Interestingly enough Harry was having an issue of his own. He saw you wherever he went. In a sea of people, he could swear you were in the crowd. At cafes he would run past he couldn’t help but feel as though he saw you ordering a drink. He knew it was his mind trying to convince him to go through with his most recent idea. Break up with Olivia. They were really together. Well, they were in what looked to be more of a relationship than what he had with you. He didn’t understand why he did that. Why could he do all these things with Olivia but was scared to do them with you? He guessed because whatever had transpired between the two of you was real. It had weight and meaning for both of you. Harry thought you were worth protecting but you didn’t want that. You liked that it wanted to take a shot of adrenaline every time you were spotted with him. You liked that girls threw themselves at him because he wouldn’t give into them only you. And he fucked it up by telling you only deserved to be with him in private. That the public would only know you as friends and that he did have the balls to be the man you deserve. Maybe that’s why you were with Dylan. He couldn’t hate him. The total “nice guy”, he was perfect. Well-kept and well mannered. Even harry thought he matched up pretty well it was clear to see Dylan wanted to be with you publicly. He wasn’t scared of what love brought to the table. He wanted to be loud and out there with you. Harry was reminded every time he opened up his phone. His custom settings alerting him again and again of where you were, who you were with and what you were doing.

“I need to talk to you.” The text was sent fast from his phone. Harry tapped at the edge of the case expectantly as he watched text bubbles pop up and pulsate at the bottom of the screen. Anxiety became a close friend of his the longer spent time away from you. It had been months since that party in LA and he wished he had said more to you. But what could he have even said In the moment that would have kept you in his grasp.

“Hi baby what’s up :)?” Olivia responded swiftly and Harry just stared at his phone before he began dumping his feelings into the text box.

Dylan had spent a lot of time trying to get you to go out with him. After getting to know oy a little better he realized he needed to show you how you deserved to be treated. He took you out every time you came to LA, and he even flew out to see you in your hometown a few times. It was just so simple with you, and he really wished he could keep you all to himself, but he would be lying if he said that he didn’t notice that you would zone out from time to time. Despite all of that you were a great friend to him before you would be anything else and respected that you were confused and maybe had some feelings for Harry still. Dylan tried his best to show you that it didn’t bother him, but he saw the likes on your posts. He heard what you would whisper to your friends about Harry, and he saw how you answered every unsaved number that called you in case he was hurt. The love you had for Harry was beyond anything you would feel for him.

Olivia didn’t know what to expect when she got that message to her phone and harry didn’t know how he was going to do this. He sat on the edge of his bed waiting for her to arrive at his House in LA. He had flown back for a press tour that had just wrapped. His shoulders slumped forwards and he rested his hands in his lap. His mind was reeling but he knew he needed to do this.

A few moments later Olivia walked into the house. She walked past her shoes that sat next to his and placed her keys in the bowl along with his. She made her way to the bedroom where she heard him call out to her. And for a moment the pair just existed in the room for a while. The silence was enough to understand but harry knew that part of this process was growing up and owning up to how he felt.

“I can’t get her out of my mind.” Harry spoke softly and he couldn’t bring himself to look at the woman in front of him.

“I know. But that’s why I’m here to help you forget.” Harry looked up and Olivia stood with her arms crossed. Her foot tapping on the ground, and he looked away again before continuing.

“We need to be done. I need your stuff gone and I need to go talk to her. I need to apologize.”

“So… this is it.” Olivia sighed and turned on her heel. Walking fast like she was late and, in a rush, to beat traffic. She took her key out of the bowl and scooped her shoes up as she made her way to her car. Harry collapsed on the bed. His chest fell and his shoulders relaxed. Even if it didn’t work out between the two of you, he was glad he did that. He was so happy he was on his own. His head clearing and his muscles relaxing.

Liked by Y/nfan45, harryfan92 and 34,6451 others

harryfan33 I know y’all heard the rumors about Harry and Olivia breaking up but I think this confirms it, WTF is he doing buying a whole car??!

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y/nharryshipper6 broo mans got money lol

harryfan44 mhm I wonder if he’s doing this to get someone’s attention.

harryupdates19 it was confirmed by a close friend that they did call it quits Olivia got her stuff out of his LA house.

You stared at your phone. It had been 5 minutes since you moved last. Your hands and fingers were in the same position while you stared at the photo. Impulsive. It was reckless and impulsive of him to buy that car. What was he thinking? He was so upset that he needed to go take a joy ride in a fancy new car. On the other hand, he dumped her. Well, they weren’t really together but the bitch got her stuff and ran for the hills anyway.

“Y/n?”

Startled by the sudden sound of Dylan’s voice you jumped.

“Oh, you scared me. I was, reading something.” You didn’t want him to think you were obsessed. You thought about harry a lot more than you would deem healthy and you wanted to give Dylan a fair shot. But as you got up from your spot and greeted him with a hug all you could think about was the car. What did it mean? The rest of your day went normally. You were in LA again but this time you were staying with Dylan. Your schedule was filled with a few interviews where the hosts would undoubtedly ask you invasive questions about Dylan and Harry. It made you nervous. Part of you wished you could be honest and say you missed Harry. As a friend dearly, but you missed him more in the physical and romantic sense. Dylan didn’t give you that feeling of living in tandem like you had with Harry. Because of this issue you were having it was hard to feel genuine in your interviews.

“I’ve got a meeting with my manager later today so I won’t be back for lunch but maybe we can meet up for dinner after?” You smiled as Dylan hugged you from behind. You slipped your phone into your bag quickly so as not to let him see the photos.

“of course, that sounds great. Text me when you’re done.” Dylan placed a sweet kiss on your cheek and squeezed your hand. Your hand twitched on your phone as you watched him walk out the door.

The day went by slowly. Meetings after interviews and even a photoshoot. You loved the attention that your song got, and you loved the reaction from the fans you gained. Everyone was really supportive even if they didn’t fully know the whole situation. As you were walking back to your car you received a phone call from your manager. The sun was getting lower and lower, and the wind was cooling down the hot air. Your phone buzzed and you picked up the call. The air in your lungs felt like it wasn’t enough when you heard the news.

“I mean are you sure I only have one song.”

Your manager was in fact sure. You were invited to perform at Coachella. You sat in the driver’s seat of your car outside a radio station staring at your phone. The timer on the call continued to count and you realized you weren’t dreaming. The call with your manager ended fast and before you realized you dialed the numbers you heard his voice.

“Y/n?”

You we’re stunned. Was that even the right word? You didn’t know. It felt like forever since you heard him speak to you. It had been forever since he called you by your name. You blinked and swallowed hard. His breathing over the speaker was barely noticeable but you swore you could hear his next words before he even said them.

“Are you okay?”

You choked as you replied.

“Umm, yeah. Yes, I’m okay I just.”

You decided now was not the time to hash out everything that went wrong between the two of you and it might joe even be worth the trouble.

“I got a call that I’m going to perform at Coachella…” you waited with your phone on your ear for him to respond. You waited to see if you could hear how much he missed you when he spoke again.

“I knew you would get big someday. I’m proud of you darling.”

He just had to call you that. He must know you think about him still. Right? There was no way he didn’t. Why else would you break no contact? Harry had to admit he was surprised to see your name flash in his phone again. To think you still wanted him to be a part of your life when you told him the news. It gave him hope that he could fix what he did wrong. And maybe he was pushing his lick a little but using his pet name for you. You didn’t hate it though. Some part of you was smirking ear to ear that after 4 months of no contact he still called you darling.

Two minutes into this phone call and he had you hiding a smile from no one and playing with random bits and bobbles in your car. Harry guessed that someone had to give in eventually.

“wanna see you again, and talk.”

You weren’t sure if it was the right time, but you decided to do it anyway.

“I know you’re in LA so what’s stopping you?”

Harry never got in his car so fast. The buildings moved past his car window fast and the trees melted into the grass and the sidewalks morphed into the street. Every red light he passed made him think about what he was going to say to you. This was his chance. He had a window of opportunity to fix this.

You asked him to meet you at a nearby parking garage. You were already waiting for him when he pulled up. His tires making crackling sounds as they drove over small rocks and slowed to a stop. Your heat was beating hard in your chest. You were sure if he were to get close, he could hear it.

He looked good. Okay, he looked more than good. You always had a thing for him when he drove. Harry shut the door to the driver’s side and walked around to see you leaning against the trunk of your car.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” You wanted to smile at him but a small part of you didn’t think you should. Harry huffed and stood across from you.

“Hi? That’s all I get? What? Are we strangers now? You spoke to me on the phone in that voice you know I like and can’t say no to and now all I get is…hi?”

You rolled your eyes and looked away. So maybe you didn’t really know what was going to happen when you broke no contact but considering how he treated you “hi” was a pretty good response.

“Just teasing Darling.” Harry got quiet and stepped forward. You reciprocated and pulled him into a hug. Something about the hug was almost healing. Almost. You missed him and he missed you and if you were living in a movie this would be the part where you would kiss. He was so close. You looked back and forth between his eyes and his lips as he looked down at you. His breath was almost fanning your face and your breath hitched in your throat.

"You are going out with him again, aren't you." After Harry said that you felt like the two of you were in some de ja vu loop. You said the same thing to him 6 months ago. You didn’t have to answer him. Harry knew the answer and clenched his jaw.

"You’re jealous." You placed the label on him faster than he would have liked.

"Me? No." you raised your eyebrows at his response. Did he really think you didn’t know him?

"You are. And a terrible liar on top of that." Harry rolled his eyes and leaned back.

“Well, is it so bad that I finally understand how you felt? That’s what you wanted isn’t it? You were surprised at this. You finally got the confirmation that he was done with that woman and wanted to be with you, but you couldn’t. not now anyway. Your eyes drifted to the ground, and you frowned. Tears welled up in your eyes and settled in your eyelashes.

“Are you crying...?” Harry spoke softly now. He took your hands into his and cradled them tenderly.

“Why do you have to be so great at the wrong time? Hmm? Why do you have to do this when I’m with someone else?” You looked up at him and Harry almost started to cry with you. Cheeks and face red and wet as you stood across from him. Harry knew he had to grow up. This tension was hurting you and him and if it continued you would never get together.

Harry didn’t know what else to say. He never meant to hurt you this way but part of him didn’t know better. He didn’t know how to carry on with anyone for more than a year or two. You were his longest relationship by far and he didn’t even have the guts to claim you publicly. To show the world that he wanted to love you aloud. Not to keep you to himself as a toy, a plaything.

“This is not what I planned for us, Harry.”

The two of you stood there in the garage for a while. Harry broke the silence.

"I love you."

"I know you do, and that's the problem."

You walked into the restaurant at 10:30. You were dressed in fancy clothes, and you wanted to laugh. The whole time you were getting ready you thought about harry. Here Dylan was waiting for you looking adorable with his nice shirt and you were thinking about a different man. You couldn’t lie and say you haven’t been thinking about him for the last few months. But it was different now. Maybe you didn’t need to be with either of them? This whole situation was complicated. Dylan offered you a no string attached casual dating experience. Harry offered, well nothing at first beyond friendship and occasional sex. Now he seemed like he was prepared to give you everything you had been wanting. Commitment. He said he loved you. And now you were the one who was scared. And walking into a fancy restaurant to meet your “casual” date.

“Hey baby, how was your day?” Dylan got up from the table and pulled the chair out for you. You internally cringed at the word. Baby? You settled into the chair and the conversation progressed easily. The longer you spoke to him the further back in your mind Harry’s declaration went.

[ Tag list ]

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@futuristicpalacegardenpsychic

@tiaamberxx

@bxbyysstuff

@walkingintheheartbreaksatellite

@sleutherclaw

@laramcflyy

@gem1712

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles x black!reader #harry styles smut #hslot 2023 #harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #harry styles x reader smut

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lajikookbolala · 10 months

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Some thoughts on this shipping discourse

I have already expressed MULTIPLE times how much I hate drama, so this is probably gonna be my last post on this topic. In the future, I might post less, not at all, or often but with only positive stuff. I just don't know if I can mentally handle being on here for much longer. Anyway, here are some thoughts:

Trying to convince Tkkrs they are wrong is not going to work.

I would like to challenge anyone here to think of a time when someone ACTUALLY changed their opinion on something after an online argument. Can't think of one? Exactly. Humans are stubborn, it's just part of who we are. Especially online, nobody is actually open to changing their opinion on things. We argue just for the sake of arguing.

And, we have to remember that Tkkrs are JUST as confident that their ship is real as we (Jkkrs) are. It may be stupid, but as a former Tkkr I would know (I had just joined the fandom and I was young, don't blame me for falling for the Taekook bs). Anyway, when I say I was confident in my belief that's an understatement. Eventually, I did stumble across Jikook, and the story is actually very funny. Again, I had just joined the fandom and hilariously, my mom was starting to get into BTS too. One day, she stumbled across a Jikook video on youtube, called me in the room and showed me, saying "look how in love these two are". I was hesitant at first (still being a tkkr at the time), but I watched it with her, because she was my mother; someone that I knew and trusted. If some random person online had sent me the same video and told me to watch it, I wouldn't have. I would be pissed and ignore it. My point is, to convert me from a Tkkr to a Jkkr, it took my own mother showing me a video, and explaining to me that with her almost 60 years of life experience, she could tell they were in incredibly in love.

Nobody's gonna listen to a random person's opinion on line. At least, not with an open mind.

2. We're just giving toxic people the attention they want.

More than 50% of what I see on Jikook Tumblr recently is answers responding to toxic people's posts, whether those people are tkkrs, antis, or solo stans. Because we answer all their stupid questions, more of these people are coming out of the woodwork to share their own stupid opinions. And then it's just a toxic circle.

Even though it may give you some satisfaction to roast random strangers on the internet (I even enjoy reading roasts by jkkrs sometimes), it's really not worth it. We're just giving them the attention they want. If we just ignored them for a while and didn't answer their questions or respond to them, they wouldn't go away, but we would definitely see less of them on here.

Also, aren't we kinda being hypocrites? When tkkrs leave hate on Jikook posts we all get together to hate on them (which is justified) but we seem to have no problem when jkkrs leave hate on Taekook posts. I know it's different because Jikook is real and taekook isn't, but again, we're not going to convince them by leaving hate comments. We're just gonna piss them off more. Honestly, I think the only thing that would shut tkkrs up once and for all is if Jikook came out with their relationship, and we all know that's not going to happen, at least not anytime soon.

Ok, I think that's the end of my rant. Please let me know if you agree with me or not. If you disagree, I totally understand. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I'm just sharing mine.

ALSO 3 more things:

1: please feel free to send me asks! I will respond to ALL of them as long as they are not toxic.

2: does anyone know any platforms where the Jikook community is welcoming and nice? It may sound stupid but I think that's what I really need right now. I have no BTS friends and would LOVE someone to talk to about them.

3: let me know if you would like me to stay on here. I'm almost definitely not gonna post any more stuff about this drama, but I will 100% post more cute and wholesome Jikook moments if y'all want me to.

I love you all, thank you so much 💜

#jikook #kookmin

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anoomf · 1 year

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MILK?

Request: Scaramouche and Subject 2 boob sucking

AN: Thank you for requesting this! I'm so sorry that this is so late but please enjoy. Also, I wasn't sure if you wanted just regular boob sucking or lactation so I just did lactation but if you want just normal boob sucking then lmk

TW: lactation, nipple biting, afab reader, reader drinks a lactation potion (Subject 2), ooc

SCARAMOUCHE

I doubt that Scaramouche would even know what lactation is. After all, it's not like he experienced it. He was brought into Teyvat through... different means. Which is why you're here to help him!

When you first got into a relationship, things like sexual needs or intimate moments were not something that was touched up upon. If you wanted or needed anything, you would have to be the first to bring it up. A change would be nice though. You wanted to see him want something too not just to indulge in whatever you wanted. Which is why you had the brilliant idea to let me drink from you. You could loose a lot of the weight off your chest and he could find something to enjoy. It was a total win win.

"Hey, Scaramouche, what do you think about my boobs? Do you want a taste of what's inside of them? Do you like them? Do you hate them?" You didn't even let the poor boy answer before pulling his head down to your chest.

It's not something that he would willingly admit, but he was always rather enamored with your breasts. They always looked to be holding a heavy weight inside of them. He already knew about the milk, he had seen your shirt get wet one night around your nipples but decided not to say anything. He had often caught himself sneaking quick glances at your chest whenever you turned your head away.

"What's the point of me doing such a thing? I'm a puppet, drinking and eating are not necessary."

"Not necessary doesn't mean not able. You're not slick with those little side glances you always give me when I turn away." Of course you had known about the glances. How could you not? His stare was too intense to not notice. "So will you keep denying everything or can we get started."

What was he supposed to do in this situation. He wanted this more than anything yet it felt so wrong. What if he ended up hurting you? Or what if he bit you where he wasn't supposed to?

While Scaramouche was thinking of all go the things that could go wrong, you were pulling down your shirt. Good thing the shirt was stretchy so it could roll down to your stomach easily, along with your bra. He was quickly brought out of his trance when he heard your bra strap snap against your skin.

He was no longer face to face with a shirt. This was the real thing. The thing he had been craving for so long. He stuttered for a moment before moving his head close to your breast, latching on to your nipple. He didn't immediately start drinking though. He took his sweet time swirling his tongue around the areola as well as biting the tip of your nipple every so often.

After what seemed like hours, he finally started sucking. He was definitely not expert at this. You could sense some hesitation in his sucks but it's not like it didn't feel good. It didn't take long for his hesitation to break though. Instead if doing short sucks, he started taking stronger and longer sucks. His head tilted to the left a bit, giving you the perfect view of his adams apple bobbing up and down with each swallow.

After he finished with one breast, he moved to the next one, repeating the same torturous teasing process before sucking your boob for everything it's worth.

Your plan definitely worked much better than you thought it would. Don't be surprised if this starts to become a regular occurrence.

SUBJECT 2

Just like Scaramouche, Subject 2 was brought to Teyvat through different means. He was made in a lab and he was already a "grown up" from the day he was created.

After Albedo discarded him, he was left by himself in Dragonspine to freeze. Well that was until he met you. You were venturing from Liyue to Mondstat and decided to take a little detour through Dragonspine. It wasn't long into your journey through the icy land that you noticed a in the snow. He was a boy with blonde hair and he wore a white coat with black leggings. He was staring at something across a broken bridge. Did he want to get across? Being the person that you are, you decided to help the handsome boy.

"Do you need help?" You said, as you walked over to him. "Um, hello? Do you need help getting across the bridge?" You repeated. Yet despite your attempts at getting him to speak, he merely looked at the shadow from the lab on the other side.

But that was almost two years ago. Now, your relationship was no longer one of silence and it no longer felt one sided. The two of you were actually happy. Despite being in a relationship for nearly two years, neither of you had ever brought up anything related to the topic of sex. Subject 2 wasn't made with hormones like a normal human, so it was reasonable for him to not understand the point of sex.

Even though he may not understand it to its fullest extent, that doesn't mean he's not interested in it. Hearing you try and explain sex to him was enough to get him interested. If there was one thing Albedo did do for him, its give him a similar talent in alchemy.

Milk, sweet flower, mint, slime, wolf hook juice, lavender melon, and sugar all in one. It sounds disgusting, but, it didn't smell too bad.

"Try some. Don't worry though, if anything goes wrong, I can create an antidote." You trusted him just as much as he trusted you. So, you took the potion out of his hands and drank the whole thing in one gulp. You just wanted to get it over with. While it may have smelt alright, the taste made you want to vomit. The feeling of sickness was quickly replaced by one of warmth.

Your face felt warm as well as your breasts. No, not warm. More like wet. You quickly looked down to see your white shirt stick to your bra and skin. Subject 2 quickly walked to your side and felt around your boobs, especially the nipples.

"Interesting reaction. I read about this in my book. Apparently this is called lactation. It mostly occurs in pregnant woman, but it seems that my potion might have caused an imbalance in your chest and caused you to leak. If you'd allow me to, I'd like to indulge in some of your milk. It would be valuable for my, uh, research."

In a normal situation you probably would have blushed and got shy yet this was completely different. Your whole body started to feel warm. It didn't matter what way, you just needed some relief. You nodded your head and quickly ripped through the buttons of your shirt before unclasping your bra and throwing it somewhere in the room.

Despite Dragonspine being one of the coldest places in Teyvat, not even the cold could cool you off. Subject 2 wasted no time and quickly attached himself to your nipple. The moment he started sucking, warm milk entered his mouth. It tasted sweeter than regular milk and had a hazelnut aftertaste to it. He most certainly can't say that he hated it.

The stimulation that your boobs were receiving was starting to calm down your body a bit. You no longer felt warm, and your chest felt much lighter. After Subject 2 finished sucking on your right breast, he went to move to the left yet there was no milk in that one.

"Perhaps the potion ran out. Here, have some more," he said before tipping the liquid into your mouth.

He would definitely have to write this down and remember it. Maybe next time he'll try to change the flavor, maybe chocolate, or strawberry?

#lactation #subject 2 #fake albedo #scaramouche #scara x reader #fake albedo x reader #x reader #boobsucking #lactationkink #afab reader

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