#tw therapy talk

[driderwife]

Recently I kind of unofficially stopped talking to my therapist of like , 5 years and I’m feeling like weird and bad about it rn. The thing that happened was like, idk I just got so frustrated and didn’t wanna talk anymore. She’s a really nice person and We have a rapport bc of how long I’ve been seeing her, but at the same time there have been several things that have just been compounding over time and I couldn’t rlly take it anymore:

Last year when I brought up to her that I think I’m autistic, her response was that I couldn’t be because I have an excessive amount of a empathy. And I did explain to her that lack of empathy is not an autistic trait & that it’s a classic ableist mischaracterization, which she SEEMED to be open-minded about at the time. But consistently whenever my BF comes up in convo (he’s diagnosed with autism) she makes it a point to remind me that because he’s autistic he lacks empathy. That’s one thing that really REALLY started to grate on my nerves. It wasn’t relevant and it was factually incorrect. And I guess it hammered in that I will never be able to discuss with her the possibility of me experiencing undiagnosed autism.

Another problem is that still to this day, despite NEVER knowing me when I identified as a girl, she continues to accidentally misgender me or call me “ma’am” instead of sir. She corrects herself but like, idk why I let it go for so long? I’m VERY bad about correcting people IRL so I just let it go time and time again. I was never going by she/her pronouns when we started talking. Clearly she’s just another cis person who hears my “girl” voice and decides internally that I’m a girl.

And on a less serious note I just didn’t feel like I’ve improved at all in the 5+ years we’ve been seeing each other. It wasn’t a waste of time; I’ve learned valuable coping skills and made some important life decisions with her help. But like, I have a litany of mental illnesses that feel untreated at their core and I never feel comfortable enough to open up about them to her on a deeper level. I don’t feel like we’re dealing with anything except little IRL problems I encounter, and my general anxiety. I feel like I’m far worse off mentally than I was years ago and it makes me really unbelievably sad.

I guess all this is to say that I know I NEED a new therapist but Im terrified of the process I have to go through to get one, and get to know them. And I feel like I lost a friend in my old therapist and I’m having trouble not seeing myself as a failure for that.

The only thing I KNOW is what I need, but I have no idea where to find it: I need remote therapy available because I travel across the country several times a year and it’s just a much easier format for me because when I deal with people in person I get way too focused on masking my awkwardness and social anxiety. I also need a queer / LGBTQIA therapist because I’m genuinely tired of babystepping around cis ppls surface-level understanding of my trans experience. Having an ally as a therapist is truly not enough, I don’t want to have to explain the intricate details of what it’s like to be queer.

Sorry for rambling, I don’t wanna put too much of my private life online but it’s something I’ve been wrestling with for a couple months and I needed to write down what I was feeling. If you have any advice, a similar experience, etc, it’s very much appreciated.

#diary shit #tw therapy talk #personal

[lets-go-hurt-someone]

Am I the only one who actually prefers the Araj confession from Astarion? I see so many people wax poetic about the “nice, simple plan” scene and how much better it is that I want to wax poetic a little about my favourite.

The first time I played BG3, I didn’t know anything about Astarion’s background and I thought he was a jerk. When I first ran into Araj at Moonrise, I was surprised that he wasn’t interested in biting her, but he gave his reasons and I was like, damn, okay, that sucks but I’m not gonna force him to do anything. He said no, so it’s a no. Then I moved on, and genuinely thought nothing of it.

When he hit me with the Araj confession at camp, when he explained how he felt in front of her and how easy it would have been to just grin and bear it and do as he was told, I started crying. Sometimes I struggle to even put into words the emotions it brought up — not the smallest of which was the realisation that I had had more respect for this video game character that I didn’t even like at the time than a lot of people had ever had for me, a real fucking human being.

So I love absolutely everything about that scene, from the writing to the performance to all the different ways it can play out. I know the other confession is more cute and sweet and romantic, but the Araj one held up a mirror to me and genuinely made me confront myself and change how I approach intimacy. Which is kind of an embarrassing thing to say about a video game romance scene but here I am saying it.

Because if this fucking rude ass pixel boy (affectionate) can learn to be honest about his needs and limits and have them respected, then so can I, goddamnit. And that will always be so much more profound to me than a nice, simple plan that fell apart.

#maybe I just prefer ugly crying to the cute scene idk #I’ve talked about this before but it just hits me in waves sometimes #the way this game has made me feel so seen and valid for trauma I had written off as character development is wild #it’s so much cheaper than therapy but I probably need to go back to therapy lolol #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #tw: sa

[nightcrawlerzincorporated]

Whatever you do don’t think about how Bonnie constantly let her little Charlie boy wander the streets alone to play with strays and strangers, rarely bathed him, refused to listen to him any time he said he didn’t want to be around his uncle, left him alone with chemicals until he developed a dependence from an extremely young age, seemingly didn’t help him learn how to read or write or with anything involving school at all. Especially don’t think about her doing all this while constantly crying about not wanting Charlie to die, forcing him to comfort her and be her emotional support when she never did the same for him. How Charlie knows his mother doesn’t love him beyond a surface level and can’t stand being around her because of that. How Charlie thinks the only way to show his love for The Waitress is by, in his mind, caring for her (protecting her from thieves, checking her food, etc) because that’s the kind of love he always needed but never got.

Don’t think about any of it just stuff it down with brown and get sad and get high

#iasip #charlie kelly #Bonnie Kelly #tw neglect #talked about neglect in therapy today I’m handling it super well thanks for asking

[to-be-a-dreamer]

“Separate the art from the artist” is what you say when you still find joy in art that was created by a person who has done something harmful, but their art isn’t directly tied to their actions as a person, so you find ways to privately enjoy it without directly supporting them. It is not something you say to make yourself feel better about directly financially supporting a person who admitted to physical domestic abuse (which is an actual literal crime that people go to jail for, not some kind of petty internet discourse that a notes app apology can fix) just because you can’t stand to let go of your favorite mediocre white boy.

A streamer is not the kind of artist you can separate from the art. Music is another thing but if you’re able to listen to a man sing about being a toxic partner while knowing what he’s done you may need to spend some time unpacking that. And if you’re one of the people who found comfort in using his content as a form of escapism before you knew about all of this, I’m sorry and I know this must be hard to come to terms with but that’s something you need to deal with in private and it’s not an excuse to continue giving a platform to an abuser.

Always believe victims and go support Shelby! She’s been my favorite Minecraft content creator for years and she’s amazing at what she does! Her YouTube and streaming content is great and I’m also a big fan of her work on Kollok 1991 and The Unleashed, which are TTRPG shows if that’s something you’re into! Kollok is a lot more gritty and definitely not PG (think Stranger Things but with more of a horror element) and the Unleashed is like a comic-book super heroes series that’s a little more similar vibes to her usual content. (Featuring an all LGBTQ+ cast and GMed by Aabria Iyengar!) The Unleashed is pretty short for a TTRPG series and a great place to start if you’ve never seen that kind of thing before!

#tw abuse #cw abuse #shubble #shelby shubble #not the kind of thing i usually talk about but I’ve seen too many people misusing that phrase and it simply must be said #the number of people who have said they don’t care what he’s done they’re still going to support him is disgusting #‘I went to therapy I’m better now’ is a shit apology and you all know it #are there ways to consume his music without directly supporting him? #definitely but the majority of people saying this aren’t intending on doing that #wilbur soot #I don’t even want to tag him but I know that’s where the people who need to be told this are

[erabu-san]

IDK if someone want to read my Fremillei Brainrot but... here.

FREMILLEI TALKING, watching landscape ( ANGST A BIT (dont worry it ends well) it is not a fanfic bcuz lol i am so bad at writing (if it is not in french)

**CW : self depreciation**

**SLIGHT SPOIL : FREMINET BACKSTORY**

FORGIVE MY POOR ENGLISH BYEEE

Freminet suddenly being pessimist about himself, saying how he can only bring disappointment

"Don't say that !"

Collei shouting a bit fierce, which made Freminet jumping a bit

"You are also have your own strenght-"

He already heard those speech from his big sister but... it sounded different from Collei's mouth

"Look ! You can repare machine, you create toys... that's amazing ! Not everyone can do that ! In Sumeru, we could hire you in Kshahrewar Darshan... Freminet, you are amazing ! You can also diving, fishing..."

Freminet didn't know what to say, he is always gloomy.. "I am sorry Collei... you are just- amazing... compared to me I-"

"Please don't say that.."

Collei looks down.

Freminet suddenly felt guilty

"I am also like you, Freminet" her voice trembling

The young man was perplexed, but too scared to offense, he stayed in silent and just listen

"I feel terrible toward myself. Look, I am slow-learning, it still hard for me to read and write. I made a lot of mistake, I felt miserable... I am so scared to fail, I am so anxious when it comes people expectation... and my dark past growing back, my mind becomes weak and it is overwhelming... and sometime I can't resist them.. it hurts everywhere... it is like..." she stopped. She looked at the sky, trying to not cry. And after her pause, she turned her face to Freminet, with a smile but a broken voice

"It is like I am drowning."

Oh. Those words... that's exactly how he felt too. Those words resonated in him.

"I.. I stopped to trust people ! I hated my mother for giving me up. I hated everyone. But more than hating everyone, I hated myself..."

Freminet couldn't help to think about his mother.. when he didn't know the truth, did he hate her ? Did he hate the orphenage before "Father" took it..? Now he mature a bit, the only person he hate is... himself.

By this thought, he clenched his fist.

Collei took a deep breath and shouted

"BUT LIFE KEEPS GOING"

Freminet startled for a second time

"I met friends... family ! Who are dear to me. They give me their hands. They helped me. They are so patient with me. They love me. I can tell how genuine are their feelings...! And I am grateful to them. I love them too ! To repay them... I decided to become the best person I can be..! Being gloomy won't help me in this goal."

She looked in Freminet's eyes, with a determination stares. It was hard for him to be removed from her gazes.

"So yes, Freminet ! You are also amazing on your own way ! Please believe in you, at least for those you wish to protect !

You also have people you deeply care, right ?"

"Y..yes..."

Collei was silent, it looks like she wished him to continue.

Freminet took Pers in his hands stared his blue eyes.

"When I was young, I fantasized of.. just being emotionless. But, the more I grew up, the more I discovered I was hypersensitive.. it is one of my big weakness."

He did a pause, looking at Pers, deep in his thought.

"The orphenage is my home, and every children was considered like my family but... it felt more like we are just gears to make a big machine functionning. I didn't mind it, at least, I was useful. Everytime I felt lonely, I only have Pers with me."

He wanted to cry. The number of time "Father" scolded him, but he couldn't cry because "Father" hate those who cry.

Collei, was still listening, with an empathic look, as she understood what he was feeling.

"But...! I met Lyney and Lynette and.. even if they were inseparable, Lyney always called me little brother.. Lynette always console me ! In this big family, Lyney and Lynette are my genuine companions, and I can claim it ! And now I also met traveler, and Paimon.. ! I-..."

Ah, this is bad, he wanted to cry so much.

Collei encouraging him, tears in her eyes.

Freminet would usually ran away and go deep underwater, in his safe place, to cry all his heart.. only Romaritime flowers as witness.

But, he bursted to tear, couldn't keep all this feeling for himself anymore.

"I DEEPLY LOVE THEM..!"

Collei smiling, while a tear falling on her cheek

"..yes !"

They both usually alone when they started to feel overwhelmed. But this time, flowers, clouds, and them together were their companions.

////

AFTER A WHILE THEY STOP SOBBING

they are both pretty embarassed but they laughed

This is the first time they both cry with someone else, and.. that's a weird feeling !

#talk #idk what to tag huh #fremillei #I JUST READ FREMINET'S BACKSTORY AND MY BRAIN START TO BRAINROT #haha i would be surprised if someone really read all of this 🫣🫣 #but gosh... as someone who also suffered from depression but is now healed (in some way) #they are both super important for me 😭 #freminet needs to know the warm of friendship so he could accept to have therapy #two kids being sad but one is doing their best to heal and the other one is one his way to accept healing #tw : self depreciation

[crazylittlejester]

for the sad headcanons, wars sees his scarf as an honor but also as a last resort

So if he ever needs an easy way out, it’ll always be there

the chain don’t know yet, or atleast he hopes they don’t. hes going to do it after the adventure is over,

why shouldn’t he? Everyone in his era hates him, Artemis is gone, Impa is gone, he has nobody to go to nowhere to run. So this is the easiest way

he writes about that day in his journal, whenever anyone asks about it he says he’s just writing reports to give to Artemis,

he can’t even remember the last time he talked to Artemis

he calls his journey with the chain his “last contribution to the world”

in all honesty he had planned to do it before the adventure, but hylia wasn’t through with him, and he went through that portal, he never gave up on it, just postponed it.

At first they were confused, who knew the captain wrote poetry? But as their eyes lingered on the entry further, they soon relised the intent of the captains writing.

For once they regretted one of their silly pranks.

But it was real this time

they knew without a doubt the captain wrote the himself

“My goal is not to die an honorable death, but to sway with the branches, if I die hanging pathetically in there grasp then so I shall, their eyes don’t hold the same judgement as the ones of the knights and commanders I looked up to in my past, for soon I will look up to the sky, and be reminded I am free”

he hoped the chain don’t find it, they can’t know

but of course, they always will anyways

A hefty price of being loved by others

but a worthy one indeed

okay so you’re done and banned /lh

those last two fucking lines. jesus christ.

#i say as if i did not ask for this #OOUUUUGGGGGH. #FALLING TO MY KNEES AND SCREAMING AT THE SKY RN. #anon i’m just gonna go ahead and send you my therapy bill /j #linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu warriors #lu wars #jes talks #jes ask #tw sui talk #tw sui ideation

[tangledinink]

three am is not the ideal time to suddenly desperately miss my twin brother.

#whos on the planning commitee #can we talk #can we actually have these feelings #like #idk #during therapy sessions or smth? #vent #personal #cw sibling death #tw sibling death #sibling death #cw family death #tw family death #family death #grief #tw grief #cw grief #i read a very beautifully written fic abt the disaster twins and their twinship and shit and now im like #ah #oh #i #want... that... i want... i want......... twin brother........ #i want to... talk to my twin brother.... #want to hug... MY twin brother.......

[firedragon1321]

Are you normal or are you crying at like 11 pm thinking about how little affection Gladion has from other human beings in his life?

Like the Lusamine issue is the biggest one. But his dad got sucked into a wormhole and then noped off to Poke Pelago (and in USUM, Lusamine decides not to tell him about his family). Team Skull treats him like fucking dirt, and in the end, they're an extension of Lusamine. Lillie and Wicke are nice to everyone, but they never show Gladion as much attention as they do Lusamine, or even the player.

The anime did address the Mohn issue better than the games. But it made the mistake of neutering Lusamine's villainy. So the happy family seems...hollow to me. The Gladion in this particular image just doesn't feel like him.

As I wrote this rant- which is a long time coming and I'm sorry- I realized it's empty because the writers are determined to "redeem" Lusamine, and in doing so require every other character to forgive her. But (game continuity) Gladion has no reason to do so. Not after what she did to his sister, or Silvally.

Not after what she did to him.

I feel like Gladion's departure in USUM should have been permanent. He needs a support system outside the Aether Foundation- wherever he has to go to find it. He has his Pokemon (many of which are friendship evolutions, so there's no doubt there's affection from them). But he needs a person to talk to. He needs to cope with what happened to him and his family. He needs and deserves friends and a healthy life.

Lillie chose to forgive Lusamine and the Aether Foundation. Gladion does not have to forgive. It's not in his character. Moreover, it's not a fucking requirement. There should be zero pressure on him to have anything to do with Lusamine, Team Skull, or the Aether Foundation. "But who will run the Aether Foundation in Sun and Mo-" nobody. Let it crumble. It was a sham the moment Lusamine and Nihilego met.

Gladion should be allowed to walk away and find happiness elsewhere. The Pokemon World is big. Countless regions exist, and more are being discovered. They're full of people. He doesn't have to suffer alone.

I didn't mean to turn this into an essay. But I have so many Thoughts about him...

#pokemon #gladion #emo prince #pokemon sun and moon #i am So Normal #get this boy some therapy #tw abuse #basically talking about the abuse in-game #but there's talk in here of whether or not to forgive abusers #can someone transmit this post to alola please let him read it #i think I'm also doing personal trauma dumping i am so sorry #vent #rant #most of this is game continuity #tw neglect #thank you person who reblogged this for informing me about that tw #gladion pain tag

[bipolarmango]

Things I should talk in therapy:

- I want to unalive myself

- I feel I'm a waste of human space

- There's no reason to be alive

Things I talk in therapy:

- I feel like I'm a bit socially awkward

#therapy #tw depression #depression #actually depressed #actually mentally ill #bipolar 2 #bipolar #tw sui vent #tw sui talk #tw sui ideation

[vixen-angel]

I saw your interest in psychology and it brings up something that I, and many others, have noticed that pisses me off

So many mentally ill people with scary illnesses/symptoms like psychology and I even study it in college now. And yet psychiatrists and therapists are often neurotypical and they look down on people like us!

I'm so terrified to go to therapy cause of their biases. Even if they claim to be okay with things like personality disorders or 'dark' thoughts, they often aren't. I have much more important shit to do than be hospitalized for being a danger when I'm actively trying to learn how to prevent it from happening!

completely agree! ive noticed many people get placed in wards for "being a danger" when all theyve done is admit to having certain symptoms and asking for help. why hospitalize someone whose actively trying to get better?? putting someone in such a situation only makes things worse. i dont believe someone should be hospitalized for something like lets say simple homicidal thoughts. im sure EVERYONE has thought about hurting another person at least one time, yet most never do it. most people who do have serious mental illnesses do not commit to the thoughts they have, though many seek help. and im sure psychiatrists and therapists know just how damaging it is to be put in a psych ward when youre already dealing with alot, and all youre trying to do is get better. I just dont believe the "professionals" really care, they know theyre going to get a check wether you get actual help or not. there needs to be more neurodivergent people working in those positions, or atleast people who ACTUALLY care and want others to get better.

thank you for the ask, i really appreciate it! and its also a very good topic to bring up on here I've been meaning to talk about this stuff so ill take this as a little push.

#tw self destruction #sorry for being depressing #obsessive love disorder #tw sui talk #tw depressing thoughts #tw sui ideation #tw sui implied #suic1de #tw sucidal ideation #tw sui vent #actually mentally ill #mental illness #mental health #psychology #psychosis #psychiatry #therapy #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #personality disorder #borderline personality disorder #actually npd #actually bpd #narcissistic personality disorder #actually narcissistic #actually borderline #bpd #npd #npd safe #bpd safe

[shsl-writer]

sorry for accidentally dming you this but I find you very interesting and got too excited and pressed the wrong button and stuff so uh yeah

Opinions on Kiyo? (I’m very very normal about Kiyo and definitely relate to him to a average degree)

Heslo! Don’t worry, I totally get it, I’m horrific with technology. I’m just glad you wanted to talk!

Kiyo! God, I adore Kiyo. I haven’t gotten to the third game yet but I’ve watched all the ftes and am obviously pretty deeply entrenched in fandom stuff so I know a good deal about him, he’s genuinely one of my favorite Danganronpa characters.

To me Kiyo reads as an abused person who hasn’t yet realized they’ve been abused. Other people can probably articulate it better than me but from what I’ve seen his Sister has dictated most everything about him from his clothes to his interests. Everything he does is for her and from the sounds of it this is still the case years after her death, that’s how deeply she’s influenced (and manipulated) him. I’m assuming that his parents were either absent or not there entirely which is why she had so much control over him. It makes me so angry about what they did to him in the 3rd trial not only because Kiyo’s character was then completely villainized but because it’s an absolutely disgusting way to paint someone who’s so clearly been abused. There’s a difference between recognizing that a character doesn’t realize they’ve been mistreated and writing them to be a goddamn serial killer (Danganronpa has a history of turning heavily traumatized characters ‘evil’ tho, just look at Toko and Syo).

Anyway, I also think Kiyo is super autistic. So many of his sprites are self-soothing positions (which could also be related to the abuse but yunno), he’s covered pretty much head to toe which could be to protect from sensory issues, and most importantly: this man infodumps like no one’s fucking business. It’s kinda all he talks about unless prompted otherwise? And there’s implication he doesn’t have a lot of control over it because he’ll cut himself off sometimes realizing he’d been talking for too long and dominating the conversation. All of his ftes with Shuichi are about essentially acting as a teacher for different anthropological subjects. That is a special interest, you can’t convince me otherwise.

Overall I think Kiyo is just a really tragic character who was completely fucked over by the writing. As someone ND myself I find him so fucking relatable. He’s seen as weird and typically keeps to himself and has a hard time holding a normal conversation. He keeps trying to just stay in the background and observe but not only does his stature make that difficult he’s also got so much to say, so much knowledge he wants to share, and he just wants someone who will listen. I hold him so dear to my heart <33

#korekiyo shinguji #danganronpa killing harmony #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #abuse tw #knife is talking #I didn’t even get into how he talks about near death experiences completely casually #like just drops on Shuichi ‘oh yeah I almost die on on-site setting sometimes lol’ #like he needs sooooo much therapy #also some of the facts from his ftes are genuinely so interesting #I would pay to listen to him infodump I’m so fr #as you can see I am also super duper normal and definitely not obsessed with Kiyo and think abt him an average amount <33

[wisteria-whump]

thunderstorm whump

A Whumper with a Whumpee who's afraid of storms makes a fake weather radar to make Whumpee think that the storms outside are going to be way worse than they actually are so Whumpee is worried and waiting for the storms to get worse 🙏🙏

Whumpee is afraid of storms and gets anxious even at the sight of dark clouds

Whumper making Whumpee stay tied up outside/in a doghouse during a severe storm

Whumper has to briefly untie Whumpee to relocate themselves to a safer area during a severe storm

Whumper leaves Whumpee to fend for themselves while they take shelter from a storm

Paranoid Whumpee thinks that the flashing of lightning outside is someone taking pictures of them through their window

Whumpee tries to escape during a storm and ends up taking shelter under the first covering they see, sitting under it soaked and shivering and covered in mud until Whumper finds them and takes them back

Whumpee escapes during a storm and knocks on the first door they see, well aware that they look insane with all of the mud, grass, leaves, etc stuck to them

Rain falling so quickly that it hurts when it makes impact on skin

Whumpee getting their fingers crushed by a heavy metal storm shelter door, either accidentally or on purpose by Whumper

A rescued Whumpee who's afraid of storms getting unintentionally exposure-therapy'd out of the fear because of the sheer amount of storms where they live

#no im not afraid of storms what are you talking about thats definitely not the inspiration for this why would you even say that #the storms rlly are keeping me up im shaking in my boots #in case anyone was wondering i totally have mistaken thunder for the flash of a camera outside my window #im just perpetually scared like that 🫶 #the unintentional exposure therapy one also happened to me but the fear isnt fully gone 😭 it's just not as bad #anyway thats enough tags that nobody cares about #whump #whump prompt #whump prompts #whump writing #whump idea #whump blog #whump scenario #tw whump #whump tw #writing

[white-bow-tie]

URGENT EVACUATION FOR LGBT+ ACTIVISTS

"On 30th November Russia’s Supreme Court recognized the “international LGBT movement” as an “extremist organization”. It implies up to 10 year prison sentences, especially for LGBTQ activists and human rights defenders, the scale of planned repressions is inpredictable. 

We decided to urgently expand the program of evacuation of LGBTQ activists under persecution from Russia.

Today we have experienced a dramatic increase in the number of requests. EQUAL PostOst receives up to 12 requests per hour, we see that people are panicking."

#signal boost #lgbt #tw lgbtphobia #tw transfobia #lgbt support #idk felt like I should share this info since repression against queer ppl are going crazy in my country #for example transition process was completely banned #and our gov keeps trying to bring back conversion therapy as norm #they did nothing YET but hey - they're talking about it #and nobody is going to protect us

[faramirsonofgondor]

Jamie stuttering as he gets through his explanation of what happened in Amsterdam. Jamie misunderstanding Roy’s statement of the event being traumatic. Jamie not knowing because he doesn’t remember. Roy looking over worriedly at Jamie after he says so. This whole fucking scene.

#jamie tartt #roy kent #ted lasso #tw sa mention #child abuse #i wish they elaborated on this so badly #the way jamie catches himself as he says ‘with’ and changes it to ‘to’ #therapy must’ve paid off because it seems like he realizes this was something done to him #not something he participated in #i wonder if jamie thought roy was talking about the girl because he spends so much time reflecting on how his choices have hurt others #instead of focusing on how much other people have hurt him #i wish the media didn’t brush off male sa they way they tend to do #it happens in so many shows and movies #no seriously what was with them dropping this and never talking about it again

[suuuicide]

How is it that I feel nothing and everything at the same time.

#personal #please ignore #tw depressing thoughts #kinda depressing #tw depressing stuff #major depressive disorder #im going to kms #sewer slide #tw self destruction #self h@rm #slef harm #i want to cvt #tw sui talk #tw sui attempt #tw self destructive behavior #therapy #tw self sabotage #tw sucidal ideation #tw sui implied #suic1de #sewercide #tw sui ideation

[crabussy]

god I forgot how much staring at a screen for all my waking hours fucks me up and makes me miserable

#my eyes hurt so bad and my brain can barely form words #and I'm terrified to face my teacher tomorrow after she. did what she did two weeks ago #I'm safe please don't worry but #oh boy #there's a reason I have PRE BOOKED THERAPY for tomorrow after school #that's how fucking scared I am #and #the workload #is literally impossible to manage or complete as a disabled autistic person #not a hyperbole I have tried I have put every bit of energy I possibly have #including energy for. getting ready for bed or talking to my loved ones or masking or just going on a WALK #into homework. and it's still an impossible amount of work that I am Never able to complete by the deadline #hate being this way #hate teacherfs who traumatise me for being this way #has happened my whole fucking life and I STILL feel like a little kid every time #vent tw #listen to my gibberish boy #vent #this sucks. sorry you had to read this