#ultimately favourite quote

[laufire]

“I'm not 'Bruce Wayne,' whoever that is. That's not me. For so long, I've wondered why I come alive only as the Batman. Alfred, now I know. Bruce Wayne is a hollow man. A convenient disguise, that's all. The Batman is a warrior. […] I am a warrior. From a warrior descended. My mother gave birth to Bruce Wayne, but her work... her life gave birth to Batman. Her death only speeded the process. […] The criminal underworld has always feared me,” the Batman interrupted. “For good reason, perhaps. From this moment on, what they need to fear is my mother… the completion of my mother's work.”

– Batman: The Ultimate Evil, Andrew Vachss.

#talking to the void #quotes #books #bookblr #dc #batman #bruce wayne #martha wayne #batman: the ultimate evil #andrew vachss #favourites: mamma who bore me

[writingwithfolklore]

How to Nail your School Essays

                Not to brag, but I’m kind of a big deal when it comes to essays at my school. Since I started highschool I haven’t received a grade less than 90% on an essay—so I’m here to share my secret. This works for the classic essay, but you can also use the same advice and fit it to formal reports or other academic writing.

1. Your essay is about 2 things, demonstrated 3 or more times

This is how I’ve always thought about essays. They’re about two ideas, demonstrated as many times as you need to fill the wordcount. Shakespeare + Feminism, Media + Truth versus Misconception, etc. etc. If you’re lucky, your teacher or prof will give you one of your elements. You’ll get assignments like, “write an essay about Hamlet” or “write an essay about the American dream” lucky you, that’s your first thing—now you need to connect it with another.

This connecting idea is my favourite part because you just get to choose a concept or idea you’re interested in. Here’s a tip, if your first/given topic is something concrete, choose an abstract connecting idea. If your given topic is something abstract, choose a concrete.

So, Hamlet (concrete) could be paired with any abstract concept: Loyalty, Truth, Feminism, etc.

However, if your prof gives you something like, “truth” or “race theory”, you’ll find it much easier to connect that with a more concrete thing, like a book, movie, or other piece of media, or even a specific person.

If you are luckiest, your prof will give you both things, “write about the American Dream in The Great Gatsby” in this case, you’re onto the next stage.

2. Stick to the formula

Tried, tested, true. Nothing wrong with a formula, especially not when it gives you A+ grades. Typical essay structure is:

Intro with thesis

2. 1st Body

2a. Evidence that proves it 1

2i. Justify its relevance

2b. Evidence that proves it 2

2ii. Justify its relevance

Etc.

3. 2nd Body

3a. Evidence that proves it

3i.Justification

Etc.

4. 3rd Body

4a. Rise and repeat, you know where this is going.

5. Some may argue…

6. Conclusion

Let’s break it down.

Thesis:

                Thesis completely outlines all your points, or the three+ places you’re demonstrating your connection, and why it matters.

                Here is an intro + thesis I wrote a couple years ago:

“This literature review will explore the impacts influencer marketing has on the children that regularly consume social media content. Specifically, this review will focus on how influencers can impact children’s brand preferences, dietary choices, and lastly, the influx of children taking advantage of this system and becoming influencers themselves.”

Or

“Burned discusses the human aspect of sex work and reverses reader’s expectations on sex workers, while Not in My Neighbourhood discusses prostitutes as victims of a system created against them. Both challenge readers’ perceptions of sex workers, effectively drawing attention to the ethics of displacing sex workers from their cities.”

                So you have your connection (children and social media)/(Burned and Not in My Neighbourhood and sex work), and the different ways you plan on exploring or proving that idea (children’s brand preferences, dietary choices, children becoming influencers.) etc.

                You may also have a more specific stance in your thesis. Such as, “In Macbeth, ambition is shown to be Macbeth’s ultimate downfall in these three ways.”

The Body Paragraphs

                You start out every body paragraph with the point of the paragraph, or what it’s aiming to prove. Such as, “Influencers often include advertisements within their content, which can encourage children to feel more amiably to certain brands their favourite content creators endorse frequently more than others.”

                After this claim, you spend the rest of the paragraph further proving it through examples. This will look like citing a specific source (a book, academic journal, quote, etc.) such as, “The authors claim likeable influencers can associate their likeability with the products they use, influencing children’s perception of brands, referred to as ‘meaning transfer’ (De Veirman et al. 2019)” (super important to always cite these sources!)

                The last part is after each example/proof--you need to justify why this proves your point/is important. So, “This proves children are more influenced towards certain products depending on how close of a relationship they perceive to have with the influencer.”

                Typically, your evidence will all lead into each other so you can transition to the next piece of proof, then the justification, rinse and repeat until you’re finished your paragraph. You can have as many pieces of evidence as you want per paragraph, and the longer your word requirement, the more you’ll want to fit into each point (or the more bodies you want to have.)

                Piece of evidence + why it matters, rinse and repeat.

Some May Argue:

                This is a small paragraph just before your conclusion where you anticipate an argument your readers may have, and disprove it. So, for example, you’d start with, “Some may argue that with parent supervision, the impacts of influencers on children could be lessened or moot. However…” and then explain why they’re wrong. This strengthens your argument, and proves that you’ve really thought out your stance.

Conclusion:

                Lastly, you want to sum up all the conclusions you came to in a few sentences. Your last line is one of the most important (in my opinion). I call it the mic drop moment. Leaving a lasting impact on your reader can bring your essay from an A to an A+, so you really want to nail this final sentence.

                My final sentence was, “Ultimately, it is hard to know in advance how technology and social media will impact the development of children who have always grown up with some form of screen, but until they grow up, parents and caregivers need to take care in the content their children consume, and their very possible exploitation online.”

This sentence is backed by the entirety of the essay that came before it, and usually leaves a little something to chew on for the readers.

Any other tips I missed?

#writing #creative writing #writers #screenwriting #writing community #writing inspiration #filmmaking #film #books #writing advice #how to nail your school essays #essay writing #academic writing

[luckykiwiii101]

MASTERLIST - XoXo 💋

💋 💌- HOW TO CHANGE YOUR SELF CONCEPT AND MANIFEST YOUR DREAM LIFE WITHIN A WEEK. (Answers most questions about manifestation!!)

💋 💌- HOW TO APPLY STATES FOR THE VOID (Not my post!)

💋 💌- SUCCESS STORIES

💋 💌- HOW TO ENTER THE VOID INSTANTLY! (DISTRACTION METHOD!!!)

💋 💌 - MY FIRST VOID SUCCESS

💋 💌- DISTRACTION IS KEY TO ENTER THE VOID FOR THE FIRST TIME CONSCIOUSLY!!!

💋 💌 - HOW TO ENTER THE VOID WITHOUT VOID CONCEPT (GUARANTEED)

💋 💌- HOW TO SEMI-EXPERIENCE THE VOID STATE WITHOUT BEING IN THE VOID STATE!!

💋 💌- STOP IDENTIFYING WITH FAILURE!!!

💋 💌 - A 9 YEAR OLD ENTERED THE VOID STATE!!

XoXo - Gossip Girl:

💋 💌 - XoXo - Gossip Girl (You will have your dream life in the next 7 days)

💋 💌 - The Blair Bitch Project

💋 💌 - Much “I Do” About Nothing

💋 💌 - You aren’t a Victim, So Drop the Act!

💋 💌 - Feel like overconsuming?

💋 💌 - How do realities work? (What happens when you manifest?)

💋 💌 - Are You Scared Of The Void State?

💋 💌 - Enter The Void In Less Than 2 Minutes

💋 💌 - How To Get Your Mind To Shut Up Whilst Entering The Void State

💋 💌 - Are you really going to let HER win?

💋 💌 - Not So Sugar&Spice and EVERYTHING Nice After All

💋 💌 - How To Make Everything Sugar&Spice And EVERYTHING Nice After All (Guide to EVERYTHING)

💋 💌 - Tumblr Is NOT Your Safe Place!!!

💋 💌 - Does A Certain Queen B Feel Like Giving Up?

💋 💌 - What Would Blair Waldorf Do?

💋 💌 - Your 3D Face May Be Drenched In Tears, But Your 4D One Isn’t (You can still be unmotivated and manifest)

💋 💌 -THE 3D IS A FAKE WANNABE

💋 💌- DOUBTING THE LAW?

💋 💌- EPIPHANY #1

💋 💌 - HOW TO ACTUALLY FEEL FULFILLED

💋💌 - EPIPHANY #2 (The Law is Failproof)

💋💌 - EPIPHANY #3 (The 3D Conforms Fast)

💋💌 - IMAGINATION, LIFE IS YOUR CREATION

💋💌 - MOTIVATION IS NOT THE KEY

💋💌 - HOW TO MAKE YOUR DESIRE NATURAL 2 YOU

💋💌 - PLACEBO? I THINK NOT!

💋💌 - STOP REPEATING THE OLD STORY (WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE SCARY MOVIE?)

💋💌 - STOP EMBODYING THE UNDESIRED STATE (WHY’D SHE LEAVE? WHY’D SHE RETURN?)

💋💌 - “UPPER EAST SIDE QUEENS AREN’T BORN AT THE TOP. THEY CLIMB THEIR WAY UP IN HEELS, NO MATTER WHO THEY HAVE TO TREAD ON TO DO IT.”

💋💌 - NUMB TO THE FEELING

💋💌 - “NOTHING FULFILLS ME”

💋💌 - HEY IT’S ME, YOUR IMAGINATION

Quotes:

💋💌 Come On, Vogue!

The Ultimate Manifestation Mindset:

Hey Upper East Siders. Want THE perfect self concept? Here’s how:

💋💌 - WORK LIKE A HUMPHREY

💋💌 - THINK LIKE A BASS

💋💌 - ACT LIKE A WALDORF

💋💌 - LOOK LIKE AN ARCHIBALD

💋💌 - DRESS LIKE A VAN DER WOODSEN

#loassumption #loa tumblr #loablr #loa blog #loa success #law of assumption #void concept #void state #void #manifestation #neville goddard #success stories #success story

[dpgdaily]

Hey Phannies!

It's been such a great last few months for us with the revival of DanandPhilGames and all the wonderful content we've been given from that! As you all know Dan and Phil have just finished gamingmas where they filmed and uploaded 24 videos i a row, and we can only imagine how tiring that must have been but ultimately we are so grateful they've done that for us. So we here at DPGDaily think it's time for some Dan and Phil appreciation!

So, it's time for Dan and Phil Appreciation Week!

Starting January 1st and ending January 7th!

So, what do you need to do? Well, have a look at the weeks prompts below, and for each day use the prompt to make something great! This can be gifs, art, video edits, even just you writing a paragraph with an answer and explanation for each prompt! (you can make multiple posts and creations for each day if you have more than 1 answer)

Day 1 - Favourite Dan and/or Phil quote Day 2 - Favourite Dan and Phil Series Day 3 - Favourite Dan and/or Phil Outfit Day 4 - Favourite Joint Content Day 5- Favourite DanAndPhilGames video Day 6 - Favourite Solo Video(s) Day 7 - What do Dan and Phil mean to you? (this is a text based day for everyone but please feel free to make something for it also!)

We want this event to be available to everyone so don't worry if you aren't a content creator we still want to hear from you!

All you need to do from the 1st to the 7th is tag you creations and post with #DNPAW and we'll reblog them here! (reminder you can also tag gifs and art with #DPGDaily)

We look forward to seeing all your creations and posts!!

We would love if you could also reblog and share to spread the word!

#dan and phil #amazingphil #daniel howell #dpgdaily #dnpaw #dapg #dnpg #dan and phil games #danandphilgames

[quizmasterfred]

One thing that bugs me in thasmin fanfics, is that every so often the writer will make the mistake of “umbreen = old == homophobic”, and that absolutely could not be further from the truth.

Umbreen went against one of the biggest cultural romance norms of her time by marrying a Hindu. On the exact day of partition - the biggest act of Hindu/Muslim segregation in history - umbreen is doing the total opposite. The person who officiated her wedding was a woman (in the 1940s), came from an unknown place/culture/faith, wasn’t even a holy person.

Her own mother (while ultimately there for her) thought the marriage was “cursed”, and her future brother-in-law was killing people to prevent it. Umbreen heard and saw all that and went ‘fuck you manish, I love who I love, deal with it or leave’.

And people think that woman is going to turn around to her “favourite granddaughter” and say she can’t love a dumbass soil-eating alien genderfuckery of a woman?

Umbreen’s whole deal paved the way for Yaz to accept her sexuality, to the point that Yaz directly quotes her when trying to convince 13 that they should be together. Thasmin is umbreen’s legacy!

While Najia (rightfully) freaks the fuck out about the 3000-yr-old-alien/time travel/mortal danger thing, umbreen would be shoving her granddaughter back inside the TARDIS demanding that she run off, live her best life, and never regret a thing

#thasmin #thirteenth doctor #yasmin khan #umbreen #doctor who

[polarisjisung]

cherry flavoured

19 — ALWAYS 2ND BEST

SYNOPSIS: y/n, the campuses notorious heartbreaker, had never been one to settle down, running from the word commitment since the concept had first been introduced to her, but one smile and a little cherry coke seems to do just the trick when she runs into captain of the dance team, park jisung

PAIRING: dancer!jisung x fem!reader

WARNINGS: swearing (like crazy amounts in this chapter I never even realised), manipulation, threats and gaslighting, just a lot of hateful words in general

NOTE: WRITTEN CUT AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER! + you'll be happy to know the next few chaps won't have any written parts !!

Lee jeno was a friend and a half, he was there when things got tough, the kind of friend those cheesy Pinterest quotes you read at 3am would remind you of, he was the person who'd give his all if it meant he'd recieve just a smile in return, the friend who'd go the extra mile, he was good and he came with the promise of all things good

yet he didn't feel like much of a good friend today

It's not every day your best friend since you were in diapers ignores you for weeks on end, doesn't make an effort to approach you but makes a conscious one to bolt in the opposite direction at any sight of you. Jeno, quite simply was confused.

He was a simple man, with one goal, he wanted to get to the bottom of whatever it was that had y/n staring at him with that glint of insecurity mixed with heartbreak in her eyes at every sight of each other in the hallways. Because he didn't have a clue.

He hadn't quite figured out how he'd do it just yet, the recent news of his best friend and his other best friend leaving him conflicted— had she been avoiding him because she'd broken her promise? Y/n of all people should've known that ultimately jeno could care very little about that. Especially if it meant she'd be ignoring him. Some silly promise he made as a way of protecting his emotions would never mean more than their friendship.

He hadn't confronted, if that was even the right word, jisung about the two of them yet either, whether they were dating or just seeing each other casually, he wasn't sure at all, but by the way jisung hadn't come home yet, jeno knew that the younger boy was avoiding him.

He didn't think he could take that, two of his favourite people ignoring his existence over something so trivial.

All jeno had ever really wanted was to make sure they didn't get hurt, and especially not by each other, he just wanted what was best for them, ultimately he knew his little dating ban didn't mean much verbatim, sure his friends were respectful of his wishes for the most part, but jeno wasn't an idiot. He knew that he didn't have the right to tell his friends who they could or couldn't see, casually or on a more serious note, and even if it was a little odd, at the end of the day, he just hoped they'd be happy. Whether that was haechan and yeonhee or jisung and y/n.

Besides, Jisung would return to the dorm eventually, jeno knew, and he had no intention but to clear things up with his younger friend too.

So when there's a knock at the door, he's certain it's just the dancer who had probably forgotten his keys to the apartment again— instead he's met with a teary eyed red head who doesn't seem to be able to get any words out, only rushing head first into his chest, wrapping two arms around his torso in a hug

"I'm so sorry"

Jeno's thankful that rationality had always been his strong suit, pulling the shivering girl inside and placing a warm blanket over her.

The mug of hot tea rests in her hands as jeno takes a seat next to her, though neither of them could deny the distance between them seemed to have grown as jeno was sat a little further than usual.

"take your time, I'm listening"

y/n wanted to speak, but she couldn't find the words, her throat dry upon seeing him again— despite knowing it wasn't jeno who had said all those things, somehow every word that had struck so deep and hit the most broken parts of her soul seemed to come back at the sight of him

and y/n wanted to speak, she needed to but quite frankly she was too ashamed to admit that she had believed that jeno would ever think those things, let alone say them, instead she reaches for her phone, open to their conversation over the past 3 weeks, placing it in his palm

"this isn't me cherry, you know that right, my phone was stolen weeks ago?" she nods, and jeno knows her well enough to understand that whatever this was, was a lot deeper than it had initially seemed

"its yeri, she" tears begin to well in her eyes and y/n swears she won't cry, gulping harshly and taking in a deep breath "fuck jen, I don't even know where to start"

despite the overwhelming amount of thoughts in her mind, one sticks out like a sore thumb, and that's to not mention anything regarding jeno liking her. As a firm believer in everything having a time and a place, she was certain that was a conversation for later. Things were messy as they were, she knew better than to add to that solely to feed her curiosity.

"I'm just so fucking sorry for thinking you'd ever say any of that or for not coming to you sooner to talk about it" jeno nods, half understanding, though he can't deny feeling a little let down by her quickness to believe in those messages.

"I get it" he nods, "I can't lie I'm hurt, you know, that you ever thought I would do that, but I know where you're coming from too" he takes a deep breath, because despite everything that had seemed to be running through the mind in front of him, jeno couldn't deny that he was hurt too.

"and the whole jisung thing, it's a little strange, because more than the fact that we had that promise, I thought you told me everything, the both of you, or at least something big like this, so it kind of hurts to find out the way i did"

She nods. She knew she could plead innocent all she liked, but ever since finding out jaemin and jisung were so close, she'd always had a hunch— the fear of disappointing jeno by going against his words, for whatever reason he had said them, had always stopped her from confirming it.

That's exactly what jeno hears from her.

There's a lingering disappointment in the air, all jeno needed from her was honesty, and all y/n had hoped for was some communication, because neither of them had tried to reach out these past few weeks, and quite simply, it sucked.

But that was the thing about jeno and y/n, they were strong, being there for each other was second nature and moving on past these matters, despite taking a little time, was something they always managed.

That's how they find themselves filling the living room with laughter over shared memories, and catching up over everything that had hapenned recently.

Jeno was like a rock for y/n, her only constant in life, and some part of her felt guilty, still hiding so much from him

prev | masterlist | next

TAGLIST (open): @jenobubbles @justalildumpling @jising-jisang-jisung @nanawrlds @222brainrot @chichiuu @dinonuguaegi @ishireads @yyy90210 @hibernatinghamster @stqrrian @makiswrld @everywonuu @marizhua @luumiinaa @asteriaskingdom @jeongintwt @90s-belladonna @000rpheus @jammingjaem @yayloona @neozon3nha @mfaal @conwunder @toroufriteh @i6renj @https-dandelion @kikookii @delulu4-life @hancafe @produmads @tamcitrus @yv72s @funkygoose @buns-inhiding @odxrilove @n-jules @pinknjm @chickenscoups @h-aecat @sikuthealien

#nct dream smau #nct dream x oc #nct dream x y/n #nct dream x you #nct dream x reader #nct dream jisung #jisung fluff #jisung imagines #park jisung x you #nct jisung #park jisung x reader #nct jisung x reader #jisung x you #jisung x reader #jisung x y/n #nct x female reader #nct x y/n #nct x oc #nct x you #nct x reader #jisung #park jisung texts #nct dream fake texts #nct dream #nct #nct fluff #nct smau #nct imagines #cherry flavoured 🍒

[indigo-scarf]

Draco DID want to be a Death Eater (and here’s why)

If I had a Sickle for every time I’ve read that Draco became a Death Eater against his will, forced by either his father or Voldemort, I’d be as rich as the Malfoys. However, that is not true in canon, and Draco is much more compelling and tragic for it.

It’s explicitly shown in HBP that Draco was enthusiastic about serving Voldemort in the beginning. Bellatrix, who’s ever eager to call out any unfaithfulness to Voldemort, defends Draco:

“And I will say this for Draco: he isn’t shrinking away from his duty, he seems glad of a chance to prove himself, excited at the prospect —” (HBP2)

Draco himself gloats about it:

“Well, you never know,” said Malfoy with the ghost of a smirk. “I might have … er … moved on to bigger and better things.” [...] “When the Dark Lord takes over, is he going to care how many O.W.L.s or N.E.W.T.s anyone's got? Of course he isn't. It'll be all about the kind of service he received, the level of devotion he was shown.” [...] Crabbe and Goyle were both sitting with their mouths open like gargoyles. Pansy was gazing down at Malfoy as though she had never seen anything so awe-inspiring. “I can see Hogwarts,” said Malfoy, clearly relishing the effect he had created as he pointed out of the blackened window. (HBP7)

And he’s preoccupied with the “glory” he thinks he’ll get by completing his mission:

“I know what you're up to! You want to steal my glory!” (Draco to Snape, HBP15)

“[Snape]'s been offering me plenty of help — wanting all the glory for himself — wanting a bit of the action — [...] But I haven't told him what I've been doing in the Room of Requirement, he's going to wake up tomorrow and it'll all be over and he won't be the Dark Lord's favourite any more, he'll be nothing compared to me, nothing!” (HBP29)

Of course there are threats and fear involved, as well, since this is Voldemort we’re talking about, but it’s both the carrot and the stick. When Draco starts to think he might fail, he focusses on the threats, hence:

“No one can help me,” said Malfoy. His whole body was shaking. “I can't do it... I can't... It won't work… and unless I do it soon... he says he'll kill me…” (HBP24)

Nonetheless, as per the previous quotes, he oscillates between being terrified of failure and chasing the rewards of success up until the very end, in the Astronomy Tower.

As I've argued extensively in my Hand of Glory meta, I see Draco’s becoming a Death Eather as an attempt to both prove himself to his father and to prove himself better than his father.

It’s not that Draco has lost love or respect for Lucius, but he still wants to take the opportunity to make his father finally see his value by out-doing him. If Lucius’s DoM blunder triggered the Malfoys’ fall from grace, Draco’s success will earn them even more honour than they had before.

At the same time, though, Draco’s actions are not truly emancipatory because his father remains the point of reference that determines his worth.

Ultimately, Draco’s motive for taking the Mark is less about belief in the cause, and more about his daddy issues paradox: wanting to prove himself a grown up man, but doing so in a desperate, rash bid for the paternal validation he so sorely lacks.

Draco starts HBP insisting that he’s “...not a child, in case you haven't noticed, Mother”, and “perfectly capable of doing [his] shopping alone” (HBP6), but by the end of the book he’s feeling quite incapable of doing things alone, and still struggling with his need for approval from a father figure.

To me, this is much more interesting than simple external coercion. Draco’s own lack of independent self-worth is what leads him to destroy his life, and what renders him unable to be dissuaded from it. He dismisses anyone who tries to warn or help him, because he assumes they must share his own repressed lack of belief in himself, and marches solitary and obstinate towards his own ruin.

#draco malfoy #hp meta #my stuff

[thesiltverses]

I don’t know who types up the ask answers on this blog but to whoever’s reading this: how do you all feel about being alive and sentient? What keeps you going, what purpose propels you through this chaotic void? What do you think (or hope) waits for you after your inevitable end? What do you think constitutes a life well lived?

I'm going to answer this in the most wayward and stupidly overlong manner possible, because the previous ask had me thinking about puppets, and I was already mid-way through writing up a book recommendation that's semi-relevant to your questions.

Everyone (but especially people who've enjoyed The Silt Verses and all the folks on Tumblr who loved Piranesi by Susanna Clarke) ought to seek out Riddley Walker by Russell Hoban.

Riddley Walker is a wild and woolly story set in post-apocalyptic Kent, where human society has (d)evolved into a Bronze Age collective of hunter-gatherer settlements. Dogs, apparently blaming us for our crimes against the world, have become our predators, hunting us through the trees. Labourers kill themselves unearthing ancient machinery that they cannot possibly understand.

A travelling crowd of thugs led by a Pry Mincer collect taxes and attempt to impose themselves upon those around them with a puppet-show - the closest possible approximation of a TV show - that tells a mangled story of the world's destruction, featuring a Prometheus-esque hero called Eusa who is tempted by the Clevver One into creating the atomic bomb.

Riddley himself, a twelve-year-old folk hero in-the-making surrounded by strange portents, ends up sowing the seeds of rebellion and change by becoming a conduit for the anti-tutelary anarchic madness (one apparently buried in our collective unconscious) of Punch 'n' Judy.

It's a book in love with twisted reinterpretation, the subjectivity of interpretation, buried or forbidden truths coming back to light (the opening quote is a curious allegory about reinvention and cyclical change from the extra-canonical Gospel of Thomas, which is a good joke and mission statement on a couple levels at once) and human beings somehow stumbling into forms of wisdom or insight through clumsy and nonsensical attempts to make sense of a world that is simply beyond them.

It rocks.

The book starts like this:

On my naming day when I come 12 I gone front spear and kilt a wyld boar he parbly the las wyld pig on the Bundel Downs any how there hadnt ben none for a long time befor him nor I aint looking to see none agen. He dint make the groun shake nor nothing like that when he come on to my spear he wernt all that big plus he lookit poorly. He done the reqwyrt he ternt and stood and clattert his teef and made his rush and there we wer then. Him on 1 end of the spear kicking his life out and me on the other end watching him dy. I said, 'Your tern now my tern later.'

Riddley's devolved language - a trick which has been nicked/homaged by many other works, most notably Cloud Atlas and Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome - is a masterwork choice which may seem offputting or overwhelming at first, but which has its own brutal poetry and cadence to it, and ultimately which makes us slow down as readers and unpick the wit, puns, double-meanings and playful themes buried in line after line.

(Even those first five sentences get us thinking about cyclical change, ritual and myth in opposition to the dissatisfactions of reality, and 'tern' to paradoxically indicate a rebellious change in direction but also an obedient acceptance of inevitable death.)

In one of my favourite passages in literature and a statement of thought that means a lot to me, Riddley has been smoking post-coital weed with Lorna, a 'tel-woman', who unexpectedly declares her belief in a kind of irrational, monstrous Logos that lives in us, wears us like clothes, and drives us onwards for its own purpose:

'You know Riddley theres some thing in us it dont have no name.' I said, 'What thing is that?' She said, 'Its some kynd of thing it aint us but yet its in us. Its lookin out thru our eye hoals...it aint you nor it dont even know your name. Its in us lorn and loan and shelterin how it can.' 'Tremmering it is and feart. It puts us on like we put on our cloes. Some times we dont fit. Some times it cant fynd the arm hoals and it tears us a part. I dont think I took all that much noatis of it when I ben yung. Now Im old I noatise it mor. It dont realy like to put me on no mor. Every morning I can feal how its tiret of me and readying to throw me a way. Iwl tel you some thing Riddley and keap this in memberment. What ever it is we dont come naturel to it.' I said, 'Lorna I dont know what you mean.' She said, 'We aint a naturel part of it. We dint begin when it begun we dint begin where it begun. It ben here befor us nor I dont know what we are to it. May be weare jus only sickness and a feaver to it or boyls on the arse of it I dont know. Now lissen what Im going to tel you Riddley. It thinks us but it dont think like us. It dont think the way we think. Plus like I said befor its afeart.' I said, 'Whats it afeart of?' She said, 'Its afeart of being beartht.'

While Hoban is, I think, deeply humanistic to his bones and even something of a wayward optimist, the notion of human beings as helpless and ignorant vessels, individual carriers - puppets, if you like - for an unknowable and awful inhuman power-in-potentia and life-drive that lacks a true shape or intent beyond its own continued survival (even when that means destroying us or visiting us with agonising atrophy in the process) conjures up the pessimism of Thomas Ligotti, another big influence on our work and a dude who was really into his marionettes-as-metaphor.

Let's go to him now for his opinion on the thing that lives beneath our skin. Thomas?

Through the prophylactic of self-deception, we keep hidden what we do not want to let into our heads, as if we will betray to ourselves a secret too terrible to know… …(that the universe is) a play with no plot and no players that were anything more than portions of a master drive of purposeless self-mutilation. Everything tears away at everything else forever. Nothing knows of its embroilment in a festival of massacres… Nothing can know what is going on.

Curiously, both Ligotti and Riddley Walker have appeared in the music of dark folk band Current 93, whose track In The Heart Of The Wood And What I Found There directly homages the novel and ends with the repeated words,

"All shall be well," she said But not for me

These words, in turn, hearken back to Kafka's* famous reported conversation with Max Brod:

'We are,' he said, 'nihilistic thoughts, suicidal thoughts that rise in God's head.' This reminded me of the worldview of the gnostic: God as an evil demiurge, the world as his original sin. 'Oh no', he said, 'our world is only a bad, fretful whim of God, a bad day.' 'So was there - outside of this world that we know - hope?' He smiled: 'Oh, hope - there is plenty. Infinite hope, just not for us."

So, we walk on.

We carry this thing that's riding on our backs, endlessly bonded to it, feeling its weight more and more with every passing day, unable to turn to look at it. Buried truths come briefly to life, and are hidden from us again. Perhaps they weren't truths at all. We couldn't stand to look the truth directly in the eyes in any case.

If there is hope, it's for the thing that looks out from our eyeholes, which thinks us but cannot think like us. We'll never get to where we're going, and the thing will never be born. There's no hope for it. Perhaps we don't want it to win anyway. It's nothing, and the key to everything.

The Jesus from the Gospel of Thomas says:

'When you see your own likeness, you rejoice. But when you see the visions that formed you and existed before you, which do not perish and which do not become visible - how much then will you be able to bear?'

Kafka, writing to his father, begins by expressing the inexpressibility of his own divine terror:

You asked me why I am afraid of you. I did not know how to answer - partly because of my fear, partly because an explanation would require more than I could make coherent in speech…even in writing, the magnitude of the causes exceeds my memory and my understanding.

Kafka concludes that while he cannot ever truly explain himself, and that the accusations in his letter are neat subjectivities that fail to account for the messiness of reality, perhaps 'something that in my opinion so closely resembles the truth…might comfort us both a little and make it easier for us to live and die.'**

It doesn't bring comfort to Kafka, whose diarised remarks both before and after the 1919 letter make it clear that he views his relationship with the things (people) that birthed him as an endless entrapment that prevents him from attaining any kind of self-actualisation or even comfort, since he cannot escape their influence or remember a time before them:

I was defeated by Father as a small boy and have been prevented since by pride from leaving the battleground, despite enduring defeat over and over again.

It's as if I wasn't fully born yet...as if I was dissolubly bound to these repulsive things (my parents).*** The bond is still attached to my feet, preventing them from walking, from escaping the original formless mush. That's how it is sometimes.

Samuel Beckett returns again and again (aptly) to this pursuit of a state of true humanity and final understanding that is at once fled and unrecoverable, yet to be born, never to be born, never-existed, endlessly to be pursued, pointless to pursue. From the astonishing end sequence of The Unnameable:

alone alone, the others are gone, they have been stilled, their voices stilled, their listening stilled, one by one, at each new-com- ing, another will come, I won’t be the last. I’ll be with the others. I’ll be as gone, in the silence, it won’t be I, it’s not I, I’m not there yet. I’ll go there now. I’ll try and go there now, no use trying, I wait for my turn, my turn to go there, my turn to talk there, my turn to listen there, my turn to wait there for my turn to go, to be as gone, it’s unending, it will be unending, gone where,where do you go from there, you must go somewhere else, wait somewhere else, for your turn to go again

I’m not the first, I won’t be the first, it will best me in the end, it has bested better than me, it will tell me what to do, in order to rise, move, act like a body endowed with despair, that’s how I reason, that’s how I hear myself reasoning, all lies, it’s not me they’re calling, not me they’re talking about, it’s not yet my turn, it’s someone else’s turn, that’s why I can’t stir, that’s why I don’t feel a body on me, I’m not suffering enough yet, it’s not yet my turn, not suffering enough to be able to stir, to have a body, complete with head, to be able to understand, to have eyes to light the way

From Thomas' Jesus:

When you make the two one, and you make the inside as the outside and the outside as the inside and the above as the below, and if male and female become a single unity which lacks 'masculine' and 'feminine' action, when you grow eyes where eyes should be and hands where hands should be and feet where feet should stand and the true image in its proper place, then shall you enter heaven.

Tom's Jesus makes a particularly Gnostic habit of both insisting that the hidden will be revealed and demonstrating the impossibility of attaining a state where the hidden ever can be revealed. Contrary to C.S. Lewis, we will never have faces with which to gaze upon the lost divine and the mysteries that shaped us, and crucially, as Christ puts it, we would not be able to bear the sight of ourselves if we did.

We will never become the thing that's riding on our backs.

Jesus again:

The disciples ask Jesus, 'Tell us how our end shall be.' Jesus says, 'Have you found the beginning yet, you who ask after the end? For at the place where the beginning is, there shall be the end.'

The Unnameable:

I’ll recognise it, in the end I’ll recognise it, the story of the silence that he never left, that I should never have left, that I may never find again, that I may find again, then it will be he, it will be I, it will be the place, the silence, the end, the beginning, the beginning again, how can I say it, that’s all words, they’re all I have, and not many of them, the words fail, the voice fails, so be it

The final passage of The Unnameable, which often is hilariously shorn and misinterpreted as an inspirational quote about how if you don't succeed, try again:

all words, there’s nothing else, you must go on, that’s all I know, they’re going to stop, I know that well, I can feel it, they’re going to abandon me, it will be the silence, for a moment, a good few moments, or it will be mine, the lasting one, that didn’t last, that still lasts, it will be I, you must go on, I can't go on, you must go on. I’ll go on, you must say words, as long as there are any, until they find me, until they say me, strange pain, strange sin, you must go on, perhaps it’s done already, perhaps they have said me already, perhaps they have carried me to the threshold of my story, before the door that opens on my story, that would surprise me, if it opens, it will be I, it will be the silence, where I am, I don’t know. I’ll never know, in the silence you don’t know, you must go on, I can’t go on. I’ll go on. †

We bear this thing that's riding on our backs. We'll never get to where we're going, and the thing will never be born. If it was born, it'd be too terrible for us to bear. There's nothing riding on our backs.

It will never speak us into being.

We keep on calling out into the silence, we keep trying to explain or understand the thing that's riding on our backs, searching for a way to birth it before we die. Our words about the thing are crucial, and they're meaningless, and they're all we have, and they're nothing at all. We cannot name it and we cannot express it, but we cannot stop trying, and we will keep turning back to our words about the thing, obsessing over them, tearing them to pieces, putting them back together.

I'm fumbling at something I can't think or say, but fumbling is all we're capable of. There could be beauty and meaning and comfort in the fumbling, but it's also vain, and foolish, and pointless, and we're lying to ourselves about the beauty and the meaning and the comfort, and we're indulging ourselves pointlessly by going on and on about the pointlessness of it. Nothing can know what's going on. We will never get close enough to understand without being destroyed.

Thomas' Jesus again, warning those who seek to reveal what's hidden:

He who is near me is near the fire.

Riddley Walker, reflecting on the Punch puppet's inexplicable desire to cook and eat his own child:

Whyis Punch crookit? Why wil he al ways kill the baby if he can? Parbly I wont ever know its jus on me to think on it.

If you got to the end of this, congratulations: but the above is honestly the most appropriate patchwork of what I believe, what propels me, what I feel.

As for what comes after life, I think it's fairly straightforwardly a nothingness we are tragically incapable of fully knowing or accepting - it's Beckett's unimaginable and unattainable silence, a silence that his characters' voices keep on shattering even as they cry out for it.

-Jon‡

*I can't remember if Kafka makes prominent reference to Czech puppets in his work, which is interesting in its own right given the thematic relevance (the protagonist in The Hunger Artist is perhaps a kind of self-directing puppet show?).

However, Gustav Meyrink - who some unsourced Google quotes suggest was pals with Czech puppeteer Richard Teschner - did write a strange little story, The Man On The Bottle, about an audience watching a 'marionette show' who are too wrapped up in performances and masks to interpret the reality that they're actually watching a human being suffocate to death.

**Thomas Ligotti: "Something had happened. They did not know what it was, but they did know it as that which should not be.

Something would have to be done if they were to live with that which should not be.

This would not (be enough); it would only be the best they could do."

***Beckett's Malone Dies actually kicks off with a related sentiment:" I am in my mother’s room. It’s I who live there now. I don’t know how I got there...In any case I have her room. I sleep in her bed. I piss and shit in her pot. I have taken her place. I must resemble her more and more."

† I don't necessarily align myself in humour with Ligotti on a lot of this stuff but I imagine he would recognise both Beckett's writing and Kafka's frustrations re explaining the causes of his hatred for his father as sublimation: finding artistic and philosophical ways of sketching the inexpressible horror and uncertainty of our existence in order to reckon with it at a remove without destroying ourselves. A higher form of self-deception, but self-deception nevertheless.

‡Muna's more of an anarcho-nihilist, I think.

#long fucking post just to say 'i don't know'

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

New series idea: analysing my favourite (underrated) lines from Six of Crows

I feel like I haven't given you any analysis in a while, and I've had this idea for some time now so I thought it was worth giving it a try. This is going to be a list of my personal favourite quotes in Chapter 2 of Six of Crows with explanation/analysis for any that I have an explanation/analysis for - but if a famous or popular quote isn't included then it's not because I don't like it, it's just because I don't feel I have anything new to add to the existing analyses around it. And yeah, if you guys like this then I'll make it a more regular thing and go through chapter by chapter (probably sometimes including multiple chapters in one post), so let me know what you think!

(Also, I chose to start with Chapter 2 on purpose because I don't have loads to say about Chapter 1, but if anyone is interested I'm open to trying it in the future)

"every favour came with enough strings attached to stage a puppet show" - ugh words cannot explain my love of this quote. Not only is this a gorgeous and vibrant metaphor that brings forth very clear imagery, it also achieves two different concepts relating to the idea of the "puppet show". Firstly, we have the idea that Kaz is the puppet master and Ketterdam is his stage; he is in complete control, he can bend the city to his whims, and it's ultimate his say that can make or break someone. This is definitely the image we're given of Kaz in the opening two chapters, and this singular line really reinforces that, however the rest of the book and many of the descriptions in Crooked Kingdom unravel this view very quickly. This description far better fits Pekka Rollins, which brings me onto the other concept relating to the "puppet show": the question of who it actually is pulling the strings. Arguably Kaz is a puppet on Rollins' stage, and Rollins a puppet on the Merchant Councils'. each has power but each is ultimately at the whims of the other. This brings worth the suggestion that something darker is at play and that there's far more to Kaz than initally meets the eyes before we've even met him, so in short it's just completely and utter genius.

"Kaz hated a puzzle he couldn't solve, and he and Inej had concocted a hundred theories to account for the murder - none of which satisfied" - again, Kaz has thus far said a single line, and not one with a lot of information in it ("Yes and no. It's always good to have a country in debt to you, makes for friendlier negotiations) and yet we know so much about him - and even some details about his relationship with Inej! It even tells us a lot about Inej; we've been presented with a figure heralded as near-omnipotent in his city, someone no-one wants to be on the wrong side of, someone who has complete control over every conversation he has with you, and she is someone with whom he will spend hours trying to solve a riddle? So then, the reader is forced to think, what kind of power does she has? What makes her worthy of his closeness, why does he trust her, and why does she know him well enough to so intimately know his likes and dislikes? Inej hasn't even spoken yet.

"But it didn't feel neutral to Inej. It felt like the hush of the woods before the snare yanks tight and the rabbit starts to scream" - ok most of my enjoyment of this quote is just of the beautiful prose, however I would like to add that all six Crows experienced this sort of 'calm before the storm' leading up to the most painful experiences of their lives - Wylan thinking he could go to music school, Inej at the beach with her parents and calling sleepily to the man she though was her father, Kaz staying at the cafe and meeting Margit and Saskia, Matthias knowing he was going to be a big brother, Jesper seeing his mother for the last time when she picked him up and hugged him even though he was up past his bedtime, Nina feeling that she had purpose and loving the way she could help her country - so this could be considered foreshadowing.

" 'Care to place a wager?' Jesper asked.

'I'm not going to bet on my own death,'

Kaz flipped his hat onto his head and ran his gloved fingers along the brim in a quick saulte. 'Why not Bolliger? We do it every day,' "

"Kaz had done his best to teach her, but she didn't quite have his way with breaking and entering, and it took her a few tries to finesse the lock" - my main source for liking this quote comes from an analysis I did a while ago when someone asked me about comapring this quote and Kaz's self-proclaimed "shoddy job" of teaching her to pick locks. It's a while since I posted that so I'll run through it here briefly, basically it's very indicative of their relationship dynamic. Whilst both place the other on a pedestal, they do it in different ways, and Kaz particularly often glorifies Inej and almost finds it difficult to accept that she, like anyone, must be flawed. So if she fails at something, like picking locks as well as he can, and she cannot possibly be flawed then the error must be in his teaching - it can never be with her. It's also a glaring example of Kaz's self-destructive nature. My other reason for liking this quotes is just that it once again tells us about the characters so early on and without having to directly explain it to us - we know Kaz is good with locks because he tried to teach Inej and she isn't as good as him, but she still manages to get it open.

' "I'm a business man,' he'd told her, 'No more, no less,'

'You're a thief, Kaz,'

'Isn't that what I just said?' " - I ADORE this, but honestly all I can say for analysis is that it sums up the entire theme of the novels beuatifully.

"Now he looked like some kind of priest come to preach to a group of circus performers" - this sets up a great parallel that I've mentioned before in one of my "little details you might have missed/forgotten" posts, but it's also interesting to have it come from Inej's perspective since she's incredibly religious and performed as a travelling acrobat with her family. It's probably drawn from personal experience, someone in dark clothes who judges the brightness of Suli traditional clothing and/or culture and tries to preach religion to a group who've already long found it because they don't align with thier idea of religion. It's even possible that she links that idea with Kaz, not because of his actions but because he's from a country that has perversely sexualised and condemned her culture and he dresses like the rich merchants who would preach this exact kind of message - and possibly even have visited her at the Menagerie, where she was forced to appropriate her own heritage and way of life for the enjoyment of those who look down it with no reason for doing so.

"Inej pitied the boy who might die alone with no one to comfort him in his last hours or who might live and spend his life as an exile. But the night's work wasn't over yet, and the Wraith didn't have time for traitors" - this is one of the few but fabulous examples we get of the idea that "Inej" and "the Wraith" are separate entities; Inej being the girl she was, the girl she should have been, and the Wraith being a creation of necessity to aid survival. Inej is a religious young woman from Ravka who has been through far more than she should have done, but the Wraith was born and raised on the blood-soaked streets of Ketterdam and has every intention of surviving them - no matter the cost. This concept is only mentioned a few times, however it runs a beautiful parallel with the distinction between Kaz Rietveld and Kaz Brekker, or Kaz and Dirtyhands depending on how you look at it.

Ok I realise this is a pretty long post but thanks for reading it if you got this far, and I really enjoyed making this so please let me know if you guys would enjoy seeing more. And, in summary, Leigh Bardugo is a genius

#grishaverse #leigh bardugo #six of crows #crooked kingdom #inej ghafa #nina zenik #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #kanej #wesper #helnik #soc meta #six of crows analysis #six of crows meta #soc analyst

[piffany666]

Redacted vamps favourite vampire representation in the media!

Vincent: twilight

This man unironicall loves twilght

100% wore a "team edward" shirt

Lovey: castlvania

When they first met Porter and saw how he interacted with vincent they immediately thought of how Trevor Belmont and alucard are with eachother

Sam: buffy the vampire slayer

He likes the parts where its accurate to what actually happens

He likes that the focus isnt necessarily on the vampires themselves

He watched it before he was turned and it became his comfort show when he was turned

Faith reminds him too much of alexis so he skips the faith heavy episodes

William: interview with a vampire

In redacted veres "interview with a vampire" 100% happend

William personaly knew every vampire in that book

He thought the movie was just ok

Porter: hellsing

Tells william that his favourite is the 2nd interview with a vampire novel "the vampire lastat" but its actually the 2005 hellsing tv series (suck up!)

He thinks hellsing ultimate is awesome to he just prefers the original just because it was around fist

For a while he dressed like alucard and quoted him daily

Alexis: interview with a vampire ( just the movies)

Refuses to read the books

Thought "queen of the damned" was the best

Bright eyes: lost boys

Loved it when they where alive became a comfort film once turned

Has a t shirt that says "there just noodels Michael"

Also loves hellsing but has exclusively watched the abridged version

Also quotes that daily

Fredrik: thinks that it's wrong to profit off of somthing as horrible as being turned into a vampire so he boycotts all vampire related depictions in the media (since turning)

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted headcanon #redacted headcanons #redacted solaire clan #redacted vincent solaire #redacted vincent #redacted william #redacted porter #redacted alexis #redacted sam collins #redacted sam #redacted bright eyes #fredrick redacted #redacted fredrick

[laufire]

well EYE like uncle john 😌

#let's not go wild and say he's one of my ultimate favourites or anything but. i do enjoy his shenanigans #and i will always support his salvatore hater agenda #of course do not quote me when we get to the season 1 finale and i want to kill him dead! #but otherwise yeah. you go uncle john! #stackediaries #plecverse #the vampire diaries #tvd 1x18 #john gilbert #elena gilbert #matt donovan #id in alt text #captioned

[tarothouselattier]

I’m doing good, I’m on some new shit Been saying «YES» instead of «NO» - - the 1 by Taylor Swift

What you need to say "YES" to,

instead of the usual "NO"

all the images are from pinterest

This reading turned out to be not what I was expecting, but I feel like this is even better. There are some heartfelt moving messages and also some harsh necessary truths that will ultimately benefit you. I just hope you enjoy this one, like I did!

PLS feel free to share your thoughts and impressions with me in my ask box or message me. There is nothing I value more in this blog than human connection!!

If you're not sure how to choose a pile, what I like to do is observe image, close my eyes and while taking a few deep breaths I repeat the question in my mind and ask spirit to guide me to my pile. After I open my eyes observe the piles again and one or more usually stands out to me. It just buzzes with energy. | just can't tear my gaze away.

No matter what, I come back to that pile.

If this is not your way of doing things, I asked my spirit guides to help me choose a photo that correlates specifically with you and your energy. Even the text "Pile" I chose for you based on your energy. So, feel free to just choose what you like.

PILE 1 🫸🫷

SAY “YES” to:

choosing yourself as you are rn and crowning yourself as a Queen

moving yourself and your world forward

taking the sword in your own hands

you are my lady in waiting. Which is weird because you’re actually the Queen of swords, all of the Queens in tarot are bad bitches and they’re the leaders of their own life, but it’s like you are waiting for someone to give you your sword. You need to realise that that sword is your life and all your life energy it comes from you not out. You just really remind me of the Timothée Chalamet quote “you need to realise that the life comes from you and not at/to you” yeah, something similar he said.

honestly pile 1 am flabbergasted with you. Can you imagine, IMAGINE the Queen of swords. LITERAL Queen of swords, like an actual real-life figure and she’s waiting for someone to give her a sword. Is she really THE Queen of swords if she’s waiting for someone to give her her own sword.

YOU NEED TO MOVE. It’s like if your leg was cranking up and making you uncomfortable you still wouldn’t move it. Nobody’s gonna do it for you.

You need to say YES to yourself, to your potential, to your actuality, to your abundance, to the money that you want and you know I don’t know why but like fame and recognition are coming through strongly. Create your own World. Collect all your Ls and be like okay, okay goodbye I’m taking this and I’m going away. And at least, AT LEAST .I’m moving .

Yeah, you may be down, really really down but you still got you you still can move, and that’s truly all you need to say yes to. MOVING. Because it’s like you you’re making it seem like you were stuck, I don’t even know, up with ivy and you’re just cornered into a wall and you were glued.

Obstacles and your past are not the things that are stopping you from your abundance and you living your best life and being the most incredible version of you. Yeah you may have made mistakes but your mistakes aren’t holding you back, you are holding onto your own mistakes. You are stuck in the labyrinth of your own mind. You need to move. forget about the past I just need to move. You thoughts don’t make your life. YOU make your life. It’s OK to grow and change. What is not OK is thinking you can’t!

Pile 2 ☀️ You are my sweetie honey-pumpkin pie. Here's a hug and a celebratory hurray for what's ahead of you!

you need to say YES to:

start getting dressed more fancy, the way you like.

say yes to your graceful elegant side.

Also you need to say yes to being more gentle with yourself. It’s okay to not rush with your feelings if you still feel hurt and shocked.

"Start looking forward and stop looking back" - What's the use of feeling Blue? Song from Steven Universe. My personal favourite quote for situations llike this. (You won't believe it but I once channeled it from Jinx oddly enough. She gave me great advice)

getting excited about your own life!

It’s like you feel that you missed your chance on something, or something in your life did not turn out the way it was supposed to it’s over and you just can’t accept that it’s over.

I can't make this shit up. The card that flew out next was the 2 of cups.

Did you go through a breakup recently?

If so, then I am with you. To be honest, I’ve noticed that people are literally collectively going through breakups right now. Doesn’t matter if it’s a relationship that lasted for years or several months. EVERYONE is breaking up right now. I swear to you. Me included. I’m with you, honey🥹❤️❤️

Okay, I fully understand now what I need to say to you.

I know how much it hurts. Trust me, I’ve gone through the same thing a week ago. It was a 4 year relationship. But it was dying. There is no saving the wilted flowers. They blessed your life with their beaty, served their time and left space for the next amazing thing to come in their place. Say yes to letting it go! Say "yes"! Understand, this was for the best! And you need to start thinking about yourself. What is over is already over and done with. You cannot get it back, you cannot change it. You need to understand, this break up, this thing, it happened. "There is happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you" I PROMISE YOU you need to get excited honestly say yes to getting excited. This is a new chapter in your life and let me tell you, I feel like you’re gonna be, man.. if I like you were in the dark, this whole whole freaking time and you’re kind of amazed how it’s over, but somehow there’s a glimmer of hope and you might actually feel better than you thought you would. And I keep hearing "bedazzled". You need to be out there at the frontlines of your life. You need to let your spark shine, don’t feel guilty. Feel sad, but also understand that the person may not have been your future but they did turn out to be your past instead. And they were there and it’s amazing, and now is the start of your next chapter and let me tell you, it’s gonna be exciting!! You need to like, you need to get excited about this, truly. Move don’t be pushed around by the paast that you own. Don’t stay stuck in the same place. Don’t let these thoughts and whatever there is overcome you. There is no need, you’re the Queen! The boss of your own life! Think about the fancy stuff that you want to buy for yourself, the concert tickets that you want.. I might be projecting, but truly this is a collective thing right now so I feel like I’m speaking to you as a friend, but also this is literally what the cards are saying. Your life will literally glimmer and shine as the Sun and the stars. Take control of your life. Be the leader of change. All of the things that you want to do. It’s time! it’s time to make plans and make them come to life because this is the going forward. It's the only thing that will make you feel better, not dwelling on the past. It’s over. It’s okay to relax into your bright future. HELL, into your bright present. Notice how you feel lighter. It's like you finally cleaned out your old closet. Like you felt heavy and stressed all this time without knowing why. And when you broke up you realised that the person that you so loved was the last thing holding you back. And you finally feel fresh. Finally feel like you have your whole life ahead of you. Breath and breathe out. The only one you need to love you is YOU!

But still, I love you! ❤️❤️☀️

Songs you might enjoy at this particular time(besides:

Bejeweled - Taylor Swift

Happiness- Taylor Swift

Midnight shy - Miley Cyrus

Truth hurts - Lizzo

Break free - Ariana Grande

Clean - Taylor Swift

Thank u, next - Ariana Grande

Honestly, the Renaissance album is the vibe rn, but skip the love songs, if you’re still uncomfy.

Additional picture-messages for you that I channeled

Pile 3 My dragons🐲

I strongly feel you were given a precious gift in this life, a divine gift, truly.

YOU MUST SAY YES TO THIS OR ELSE!!!:

YOUR WILDEST DREAMS AND PLANS

SEEING YOUR VISION THROUGH TILL THE END NO MATTER THE COST

MAKE YOUR PROJECT/DREAM/DESIRE A REALITY RN OR I'LL BITE YOUR EAR OFF(affectionate)

RAGE AND SEE YOUR OWN WORTH

“YOU'VE NEVER GIVEN UP ON ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE. SO DON'T YOU DARE START NOW”

When I was channeling your pile:

What I meant to say: “my caterpillars, turning into butterflies”.

What I actually said: “ah, my butterflies, turning into caterpillars”. 💀

Crying rn.

Believe in yourself, no matter your doubts. You’re actually turning into a butterfly. You not believing in yourself is the only thing stopping you from seeing it. Believe and speed up the transformation.

I then heard “my dragons” ssoooo.

It’s you. You are my dragons.

I feel so strongly for you pile 3!!!!!! DON'T YOU DARE be careless with your gift, whatever it may be. Weather it refers to your inner power, or maybe an idea that you want to bring to life. Don’t you dare miss this opportunity because of your fears or your disbelief in yourself. You are this powerful for a reason don’t you dare give it up!!!!!!!! Don’t you dare be careless.

This is as much of a warning as it is advice and I advise you, I demand of you strongly! Don’t you dare pass up this opportunitybecause you think you are incompetent or not good enough, any of that crap. You doubt yourself for literally no reason, don’t let it cloud your judgement or stop you from taking action. You might believe what you believe but still do it anyway. You have a brain, you have hands. You may not think the best of yourself rn, but at least rage and be like: "like hell I'm about to let it go with the wind!!! NEVER." Because I feel like you’re extremely gifted psychically, or you have something to offer that only you and no one else can. it’s like you have a spark in you, it’s amazing. YOU are the one who is meant to bring it to life. I am just, wow. This is so incredible that I am kind of speechless and all I can do is be like "don’t you dare be careless with that, don’t you dare be lazy, don’t you dare doubt yourself"

You need to be worried about giving up, so don’t you dare give up!!! See it through whatever idea that you have. I don’t care, no matter what, put your blood sweat and tears into it and all of your burning passion and desire and your life force and see it through. BRING THIS SHIT TO COMPLETION. You will receive something MAJOR. the divine is on your side. Don’t you dare lose this halfway. Don’t lose yourself. This is crucial right now.

I keep hearing this part of a song, and the words “like I believe in you” . I was thinking whether it’s like a Disney song but I believe this is a Steven universe song and I love my animation, It's an incredible song. the song is called "Who we are". it goes "and I believe in them, and I believe in yOuuuuu". The whole song is a bomb that you need rn. Listen to the song or catch these hands.

like oh my God say yes yes say yes all "t baby can you bring me all the way" from a Beyonce song on the Renaissance album. Now it is not time to give up. Now it’s not time to suddenly be like "oh well, guess I’m not good enough, guess it’s not bringing me anything" SAY NO TO BETRAYING YOUR VALUES. SAY NO TO BETRAYING YOUR OWN SELF". I know this reading is supposed to be about what you should say YES to, but in order to lit a fire under your ass I need to be counterproductive like you seem to be right now. Don’t give up cause you fucking doubt yourself, okay!? I’m mad right now because I believe in you so passionately and whloeheartedly. I would literally, I don’t know, fight you and shake you by the shoulders with how much I believe in you and how much I want to see you shine it’s crazy. I swear like DM me or put an ask in my ask box and tell me what it is that you want to do in this world because oh my God, oh my God, I’ll be your listener, your viewer...not your buyer at this moment because I don’t have money right now, but I will definitely be your supporter!!!! I want you to win, baby, so win!

The universe wants you to win, most of all you are the 1. You have to be the one who wants you to win the most!!! There’s nobody stronger than you. Forget even "higher power" Only pay attantion to yourself. You are the force!!!! so bring it on!!! Also, by the way, I’m a pile three girly as well, like strongly. You are my spirit friend, spiritual siblings, so I also have some dreams. So if you like, feel free to message me or put an ask in my box.

I love you and I am moved by your extremely powerful energy. I was like welling up with inspiration and drive. I feel like Nicki Minaj right now with this particular quote: “barbz, don’t you dare be lazy. Stay in school”

Additional picture-messages for you that I channeled

#tarot #free tarot readings #tarot community #pick a card #pick a pile #tarothouselattier #pac #tarot pick a pile #tarot pick a card #taylor swift inspired tarot #the 1 tarot

[bobparkhurst]

a totally unbiased (no) and mostly serious (i guess) spoiler-free primer

I've seen a bunch of posts floating around encouraging people into the fandom, or HBO War people looking for a new fandom/show to sink their teeth into. Here's my effot to add to the propaganda, because I've been in this fandom since Nov '22, it's delightful here and I always love a new SASRH friend to chat to.

tl;dr: it's a lot of fun

premise & setting

SAS: Rogue Heroes is the story of the founding of the original* Special Air Service (SAS) of the British Army during WW2. It centres three of the initial founders, David Stirling, Blair 'Paddy' Mayne and Jock Lewes. Two of other men credited as founding the SAS, Bill Fraser and Georges Bergé also feature. Bill Stirling, David's older brother and integral to the founding of the SAS, will feature in series 2.

Series 1 is 6 episodes long, covering events from the North African campaign from May '41 through Jan '43. Series 2 has been filmed and will move the action to Europe.

Based largely on the book, SAS: Rogue Heroes by Ben Macintyre.

*it was disbanded in Oct '45, and reformed in '47, ultimately leading, through various machinations, to the modern day SAS.

historical accuracy

Somewhat more fast and loose with history than Band of Brothers, The Pacific or Masters of the Air, but not bad enough to send historians spiralling into deep despair, with one very important caveat: the depiction of Paddy Mayne. More on him and this in a moment. However, it has generally been well received. Damien Lewis (the author and historian, not the actor) said "...it's reasonably realistic. It tells a great yarn. I think they've used some artistic license, I can understand why they've done so to a certain extent... Generally they've got the equipment and the kit bang on, I think they had some very good advisers." (here)

There are some weird timeline issues, which I think is caused largely by odd pacing and editing. I'd not worry about this too much, otherwise you'll break your brain. Likewise, liberties have been taken with the geography, which I think is a bit more heinous, but ymmv.

characters: lads lads lads lads lads

after the first four, these are in no order of importance, before anyone gets on at me about their favourite. i also appreciate there are other characters but this bit was already getting really long.

david stirling (connor swindells) - the dreamer

Arrogant, manipulative, clever, charismatic bastard. David Stirling is fueled chiefly by daddy issues and an inferiority complex a mile wide. Connor Swindells walks a beautiful line between swagger and vulnerability. He does not let things like "common sense", "safety precautions" or "understanding the implications" get in the way of doing important things like flinging himself out of a plane in the middle of the desert or talking his way into army bases armed with nothing but crutches and chutzpah.

blair 'paddy' mayne (jack o'connell) - the madman

Paddy Mayne my BELOVED. Character of all time. He's a drinker, a fighter and abhors a bully. For most of the show, we see him at his most desperate and most angry and arguably most violent. HOWEVER, he's also a highly intelligent, sensitive, compassionate poet and voracious reader; if there's a bunch of poetry being quoted, it's probably Paddy doing it. He loves so very deeply. His depiction in the show is a bit of a bone of contention with family and historians - some people read him as being depicted as a violent thug only, and that's not what the real Blair Mayne was like. Which is simultaneously true and not true. Blair Mayne was an incredibly complicated man.

The other contentious-to-some point is that the show does deliberately suggest his queerness, something Jack O'Connell has talked about in interviews. Some people have taken issue with this. Either way, for those who saw the sand wrestling gifs and wanted to know if SASRH was just queerbaiting, the answer is no, actually. But don't expect anything explicit on this front.

Jack O'Connell looks like he's having a fucking fantastic time.

jock lewes (alfie allen) - the creator

In real life, Jock Lewes was nicknamed "The Wizard", how great is that? David, Paddy and David met in training and are referred to in show as "the Three Musketeers". He is basically the mediator between Paddy and David, which sounds dull, except Jock is also batshit and clever and scary. He makes all the lads do intense marches in the desert without water, but is never willing to ask someone to do what he wouldn't do. Trouble is, as mentions, he is batshit so his standards are VERY VERY HIGH. He also has a fiancee, Mirren, whomst he loves very much and their relationship is so tender and brings me to tears on the regular.

eve mansour (sofia boutella)

Eve works for French Military Intelligence and quietly drives a lot of action behind the scenes. She's a totally fictional invention for the show and I'd be madder about it if Sofia Boutella wasn't being gorgeous and smart all over the place. She is focused on the goal and is generally just. Queen.

dudley clarke (dominic west)

Not so much a member of the SAS as the guy who helps Stirling bring this plan to fruition. He's great fun, charming and affable, and just as dangerous as anyone else. Dudley Clarke doesn't get enough credit, I think.

mike sadler (tom glynn-carney)

Mike Sadler my OTHER beloved. I joke about Mike coming to fix all the stuff around my flat that doesn't work and it's because he's singlehandedly the most competent member of the entire SAS, I think. His introduction scene is the sexiest thing on the entire show. He only gets introduced in episode 3, but in my heart we have six seasons and a movie with him. He's a member of the Long Range Desert Group and knows more about navigating the landscape than anyone. The LRDG are barely part of the show (save for Mike) and are well worth looking up.

IRL Mike Sadler actually only passed away this year, at the age of 103.

eoin mcgonigal (dónal finn)

Most of what Eoin's around for in SAS: RH is to hang out being impossibly beautiful and being ride or die for Paddy Mayne. Dónal Finn and Jack O'Connell created the most beautiful relationship told in touches. Drives me mad. He's also the first one who really understands who Paddy is beyond the brash and violent front. Eoin McGonigal is certainly a creature.

bill fraser, johnny cooper, reg seekings, jim almonds, dave kershaw, pat riley

(stuart campbell, jacob mccarthy, theo barklem-biggs, corin silva, bobby schofield, jacob ifan)

Look, there are a lot of lads and I can't do them all justice. Some of these folks get a lot more to do than the others, and they're all distinct characters in their own right. There are two matched set duos, Reg & Johnny (enemies to lovers, 150k) and Jim & Pat (do not seperate). Jim & Pat were Jock's crew prior to the SAS and the way he gets them to join is basically by saying "hey, there's a really stupid and dangerous thing i want to do, you in?" and they do this:

each and every one of them is as bad as the others.

augustin jordan, georges bergé, andré zirnheld

Free French paratroopers, who Stirling is reluctantly forced into accepting into the SAS by Eve and Clarke. TBF, this is where SAS: RH really starts playing with history, though it serves the narrative well enough. Show!Augustin Jordan was a former professor of Philosophy at La Sorbonne, and is also a tall dark haired man, so you can see how Paddy Mayne is gonna struggle.

I had to use the sand wrestling gif here (that's augustin), you've probably seen it. It's a surprisingly interesting character scene, would you believe.

There are several other named characters, but I'm running out of energy.

other stuff

OK, so I've lost my thread here a bit. SAS: Rogue Heroes is fun, first and foremost. It really does fall down on the side of "Cool Boys Doing War", so if that's not your thing, maybe you'll not enjoy it. I personally do. And I think it does have some further depth to it than that, even if that's where it comes back to. I've never seen Peaky Blinders, but apparently it's a bit like that? IDK.

While it's very violent, I don't think it's as brutal as the HBO War shows. It's a much more heightened kind of drama, so there's a step removal I think, from the really visceral. That said, it's still a war drama, and it does feature some very nasty business.

soundtrack

it's mostly hard rock and if you don't like this, idk what to tell you. i fucking love it. once again though, mike sadler gets the best of this. you'll know it when you see it.

the fandom

The SAS Rogue Heroes fandom is small but it is mighty and it genuinely is very friendly. There is a Discord if you like, but you don't have to do it if Discord is not your thing.

While the overriding popular ship is Paddy/Eoin, Paddy/Augustin and Reg/Johnny are also wildly popular. That said, we are fond of a rarepair in this fandom, and I personally have embarked on a mission of shipping Mike Sadler with every other character. Everyone's very encouraging of wild ideas and aus, anything's welcome.

A few people are writing OCs, and that too is great. I encourage more of that! I don't think I've seen any x Reader yet, but never say never.

Come join us!

a brief suggested further reading

you really don't have to do any of this, but like, some of you are nerds, i get it. i also got a lot of other recs, but these are some good starters. you can hit me up for more, it's all good.

SAS: Rogue Heroes by Ben Macintyre

SAS Brothers in Arms: Churchill's Desperadoes - Damien Lewis

SAS: An Illustrated History of the SAS - Joshua Levine

Speed, Aggression, Surprise: The Untold Secret Origins of the SAS - Tom Petch

One of the Originals: Story of a Founder Member of the S.A.S. - Anthony Kemp & Johnny Cooper (Johnny Cooper's memoir and imo, if you read nothing else, read this)

The Phantom Major: The Story of David Stirling & the SAS Regiment - Virginia Cowles (this was written in 1958. There is a "rebuttal" biog, The Phoney Major by Gavin Mortimer, which also contains a lot of info, but I find Mortimer's bias against Stirling incredibly difficult to stomach. Difficult.)

Paddy Mayne - Hamish Ross (honestly, I'd not bother with other biogs of Blair Mayne unless you want to do a lot of reading around and getting cross)

Special Forces Brothers in Arms: Eoin & Ambrose McGonigal - Patric McGonigal (this is so personal and so beautiful, I cried several times reading it. written by Eoin's great-nephew. Ambrose, Eoin's older brother was part of the SBS, Special Boat Service, who are ALSO very interesting)

Gentleman Jim: The Wartime Story of a Founder of the SAS and Special Forces - Lorna Almonds-Windmill (another biog by a family member, this one is gentle and told with love)

Joy Street: A Wartime Romance in Letters - the published correspondence between Jock Lewes and Mirren Barford. A slightly different kind of book, but gosh. It really hits.

...and that's all I got for you right now. I could talk about this show for days though.

(forgot to add: my SAS RH blog is @regseekings, I posted this on here for the HBO war fandom)

#sas rogue heroes #i'm very tired now #i'm gonna go get a sandwich #sasrh reading list #sas: rogue heroes #Youtube

[athena-xox]

Okay lots of people don’t like Dizzie (Daring/Lizzie) and say they have no chemistry. Which is fair IN THE TV SERIES. but I’m a wonderlandiful world? Even tho Darings barely in it he still has so much chemistry with Lizzie. Maybe it’s just my theatre kid heart (hahaha) but like they’re so adorable.

AND WHEN LIZZIE KNIGHTED HIM.

Okay minor spoilers for a wonderlandiful world, I’m going to put some of my favourite Dizzie quotes from there.

“Now, kneel.”

Cedar was surprised to see Daring do so without argument.

Through some twist of magic, Lizzie’s butter knife had enlarged with him, now as big as a sword. She picked it up, solemnly touching its flat side to each of Daring’s shoulders.

“I knight you a defender of Wonderland, Sir Daring Charming. Heroic, loyal, fuzzy doom.”

“Yes, exactly like a pirate,” Lizzie said. “I would be much more comfortable speaking with you if you were a pirate.”

Briar put a finger to her chin, considering, and promptly glided to the ground, fast asleep.

“Arrr, Lizzie Hearts! Have ye killed Briar Beauty?” a voice asked from behind.

Daring Charming sauntered up and saluted her. He’d been so accommodating with her pirate request that Lizzie felt certain her mother couldn’t disapprove of their friendship.

“Aren’t you supposed to be racing?” Lizzie asked.

“No rush,” he said. “I always win. Even when I don’t.” He winked at her. “Ahoy, matey.”

“Daring swooped into a royal bow and said, “Be still, my heart! A fair princess has arrived!” And, strangely, he was looking at Lizzie, not Apple. Daring’s complimentary, showy stuff seemed to set the Ever After girls’ lashes aflutter, but Lizzie raised an eyebrow.

“If your heart were still, Mr. Charming,” she said, “then you would be dead.”

“Excuse me?” Daring asked.

“You said ‘be still, my heart,’ thereby commanding your heart to stop beating,” said Lizzie. “If your heart is obedient, I expect you to drop dead at my feet.”

Daring stared at Lizzie. He opened his mouth and seemed surprised when a chuckle escaped it. Lizzie smirked. She didn’t often hear Daring Charming chuckle.”

Off with its head!” shouted Lizzie.

Daring drew his sword with a flash of steel and an equally brilliant flash of a white-toothed smile.

“I’m just the prince for the job,” he said.

Lizzie smiled in surprise that someone was actually taking her seriously.

Daring winked

Lizzie lifted one hand, posing as she had on the amphitheater’s stage. “I

have returned, Boreas, wind-herder, to watch you writhing in the agony of age and death.”

Daring laughed heroically. “What a battle. Bards will sing of my deeds! Or perhaps a pop singer. Do you listen to Katy Fairy?”

“I do not!” Lizzie said grandly. “But I shall listen to her squalling posthaste as you are my friend, and friends recommend music to each other!

The audience gasped. Lizzie smiled. Maybe this strutting-about-a-stage business wasn’t so bad. She glanced at the anxious face of Headmaster Grimm for inspiration and decided to make up a few more lines. “I will not be the daughter who does nothing but watch her wrinkled father writhe with the agony of age and death, your voice slowly becoming more nasal and oddly high-pitched, as if you were being strangled by a possum or a really weak octopus or something.”

Daring pressed his lips together, valiantly attempting to hold back a laugh, and ultimately failing.

Darabella, Darise, Dapple or Farring could never. Also Dizzie technically got the beauty and the beast (well daring as a beast and Lizzie is always obviously beautiful) arc first. Even if it was sadly under developed.

Anyways Shannon Hale obviously ships Dizzie (well probably idk if she’s said anything on the matter) and it’s the best Daring ship. I suppose Kizzie (Kitty x Lizzie) kind of comes close but they just don’t have that romantic tension like her and daring do.

Anyways I think more people should appreciate them.

#lizzie x daring #lizzie hearts #dizzie #daring charming #ever after high #eah #a wonderlandiful world #shannon hale #eah ships

[merrycrisis-if]

hi!! First ask ever but I wanted to like share this?

Especially since I love this IF so so much. Qiu has quickly become my favourite. (Curse my favouritism because he's been all I can think about fr.

(SPOILERS FOR QIU!!!!) just incase

But basically during the start of the IF when we choose between how we reacted to the breakup with Nat, I noticed that if you chose the option of trying to move on. It says: "sometimes you wished for someone reckless, someone wildly hopeful, who'd continue to fight for the dying embers of your flame."

And I just wanted to specifically point out the latter half of the sentence. And how we see later that Qiu does exactly that although a few years too late. They're reckless about it too (it happens either during a reunion with classmates or in public so). And so so hopeful that maybe just maybe, you can let them try to fight for you, your affection, and your forgiveness and trust.

They essentially cast aside the doubts and mistake they mad during the breakup?? Congratulations with champagne scene. And decide to stay hopeful whether or not its futile.

And once I made that super flimsy connection my mind just went blank. And the I proceeded to sob inwardly as i immediately related to Qiu. Like the pressure of growing up with parents/a parent who places their dreams and expectations on your shoulders and leaving no space to breathe almost . Hits too hard. And the respite you get with one special person only to end up so consumed with your parents dreams instead of your own and just ultimately pushing them away????

Sobbbing.

Anyways this IF is so fun and sad and just an emotional rollercoaster and I loved every second of it.

(Ps. English isn't my first language so if anything was confusing to understand let me know!!!)

Ahhh this is a gem of an ask, thank you for filling my inbox with such a good one!

I love that you noticed how Qiu finally makes good on what MC needed/wanted so much from them (albeit being a couple of years too late)—as you said, they finally try to fight for you, recklessly, in front of everyone, consequences and logic and squeaky clean image be damned! It's everything they couldn't do in the past, but now it might just be too late. I wanted readers to savor the tragic irony in that.

Anyway, I'm very honored that you relate to Qiu and that their choices hit hard. I've seen way too many friends like that as well, and you phrase it so well in your message (this last bit quoted below is so real!)

And the respite you get with one special person only to end up so consumed with your parents dreams instead of your own and just ultimately pushing them away????

#interactive fiction #merry crisis #if #asks #qiu

[nintendont2502]

[guy who's desperate for the epilogues to have any meaning voice]: no you dont get it its the meat/candy binary of storycraft theory- i- yes those are the foods the cherbus love its- its relevant i swear to god- yeah- yeah no its - hussie describes [s] jack: ascend and other 'violent, high-octane, game-changing animations' as the 'meat' in the meat/candy binary giving meat a more plot and action based focus and- meat is caliborns favourite food and candy is calliopes food- the symbol of the candy timeline is the trickster candy which makes everyone effected go severely out of character and focus on relationships and having children- which is exactly what happens in the candy timeline while the meat timeline focuses on the plot and action- the entire epilogues is framed as an ao3 fanfiction it was always meant to be bad and out of character- yeah- yeah no ult dirks like that because hes *dirk* right now that he has narrative control he can make everything he described himself as (a maniupative heartless puppet master) real and canon and- yes everyone else is also out of character its intentional i swear to god i- look alt callie controls the candy timeline right. the one represented by the trickster candy. the cherubs are 'the ultimate distillation' of the idea that 'at any given moment Homestuck is full of surrogates for various factions of the readers' (direct quotes from the author notes) which is why the candy timeline is like that because alt callie is effectively a homestuck fan being given control over the universe and the story and using that control to explore relationships and fan children (just like the fans because shes a fan surrogate and just like the effects of the trickster candy because candy is her favourite food and the trickster candy is intrinsically tied to the cherubs) while the meat timeline is like that because its focused on the violence and game changing action that makes up the meat in the meat/candy binary but ultimately theyre both just striving for narrative relevancy in their own different ways because what is a story without an audience right - callie/the candy timeline is just a representation of the fanworks that usually end up keeping a property relevant while drifting further and further away from canon while ult dirk/the meat timeline is probably a representation of franchises that refuse to die and continue making more and more sequels and continuations that slowly drift away from the original vision original characters original canon in a desperate pursuit to retain some relevance even though fans usually hate them and theyre seen as nothing more than bad fanfiction and *THATS* why the epilogues are like that *THATS* why everyones out of character and its set within the framework of an ao3 story tags and all and- where did you go. why are you running away come back i havent even mentioned how dirk and callie have both drawn fanart of the homestuck characters in canon and now theyre effectively writing fanfic-

#me.txt #homestuck #homestuck beyond canon #girl help i cant stop thinking about the epilogues #theres something there #im so close to reaching it #hs meta