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#watch me disappear for another 4 months LMAO

knee-stockings · 1 year

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So I’ve been listening to lots of podcasts at work lately to break up the monotony of my office job. Mainly they’re horror, suspense/thriller, drama, that kind of thing. Trying to give ratings without spoilers~

(Check out updated pod recs here)

The Left Right Game (a journalist investigating an urban legend that gets increasingly more dangerous as they go): 5/5, this being one of the first ones I listened to set the bar really high tbh, it was great, immersive sound design, genuinely suspenseful and creepy moments, interesting plot, my only gripe is that I didn’t love the ending but I couldn’t dock a star just for that, highly recommend, maybe I’ll retire to Wintry Bay someday

Alice Isn’t Dead (delivery trucker goes searching for her believed dead wife, comes across supernatural towns and creatures and a conspiracy that goes way deeper than one missing woman): 5/5, so so good, enjoyed a lot, I loved learning the truth about the Thistle men, still don’t completely understand oracles but that’s okay, some delightfully creepy moments, this will be high on my recommendation list (also it’s by the Welcome to Night Vale people, which I actually haven’t listened to lmao)

Harley Quinn and the Joker: Sound Mind (it’s a Harley Quinn origin story basically): 5/5, very enjoyable, sound design great, plot was fun, I don’t know how accurate this story is to the original Harley Quinn origin story but I liked this a lot

The Burned Photo (two women try to fight a familial curse haunting their bloodlines): 4/5, not bad at all, I thought the sound design was great and immersive but I thought the monster’s voice was a bit goofy idk, the plot wasn’t bad though ofc it was pretty bittersweet and sad in the end, tho I think it was never going to be happy for everyone involved

Blackwood (group of teens investigate the town urban legend and uncover more than they bargained for): I can’t decide…3.5 maybe? It was okay. I didn’t love it or hate it, I’m pretty neutral about it. It was interesting enough

Gaslight (girl goes missing and then reappears to her best friend years later with little explanation): 3/5, feels like there should be another season, wasn’t as dramatic/suspenseful as I thought it would be (maybe that’s my own fault tho, from the description and stuff I thought there would be more to it)

Ice-Cream (teens suspect the friendly neighborhood ice cream man of abducting little kids and uncover a dark secret): 4.5/5, interesting and a lil creepy, there’s something oddly funny about hearing someone scream “fuck you Beelzebub” even in context, sound design is pretty good and voice acting is great, finale was also pretty good but I’m docking half a star bc of that very last bit and bc I said so, overall short n’ sweet, no pun intendo (I’m kinda glad that it’s only the one season and not super long, gives the feeling of not overstaying its welcome. Also in awe that they made it within like a month, gonna go listen to their other podcast Cascadia too)

Cascadia (submarine expedition to uncharted waters, gone wrong, we almost died!?): 5/5, by the Ice-Cream people so I expected great sound design and voice acting and said expectations were met tbh, yes god love the drama, ocean depths are inherently scary to me so this is top tier horror, season one was chef’s kiss beautiful and I heard season 2 is coming so I’ll be waiting eagerly for that

Listening now:

Within the Wires (season 1 is relaxation cassette tapes from another world, season 2 is a guided museum tour I think): also by the WTNV people, interesting so far, the plot that unfolded in the first season was cool to watch as it played out, but also I am so sad. I like it so far

Rabbits (girl goes searching for her friend who disappeared because of this mysterious Rabbits game): feels like a really slow start after a few episodes, I kinda wanna get to more action soon please

Wake of Corrosion (apocalypse where characters are trying to find other survivors and also answers): mild shrug, not sure what to make of it just yet. Only like 2 episodes in so I think I need to give it a bit

Ars Paradoxica (scientist accidentally invents time travel and is thrown back to the 1940s): pretty interesting so far, science is fun

Spoiler comment for Cascadia under the cut bc it's the one I just finished and I have Thoughts

As much as I enjoyed Cascadia, when I think about the expedition for more than 2 seconds I get confused. Not the whole alien thing, that’s fine, it’s Badger and Maria and their ulterior motives. Why in the world did Badger spend millions of dollars to make a submarine that’s faulty on purpose? And there was so much media coverage around it so the second something went wrong reporters were practically beating him over the head with microphones, so why risk so much bad press? Plus sacrificing three other talented divers who trusted him with their lives??? That’s the most confusing to me. There’s no way Badger foresaw them getting attacked underwater and losing Declan alone, so he must have been fully prepared to lose captain AND crew. Holden said that he saw Badger as a father, and yet he chose Holden to die? He said he handpicked them, so what did Holden, Alia, or Iris ever do to him to deserve being sent on a suicide mission? Doing all this just to get rid of Declan and be with Maria doesn’t feel right. Feels like there should be something more there. Tldr: surely Badger had another reason for conducting the suicide mission, right? Also since season 2 starts with Lila all grown up, a diver just like her father, I wanna know her opinions of her mother and of Badger. Did she learn about her mother’s betrayal? Is Badger still involved in funding deep sea diving or did the FBI take him out of that? Omg who’s the father of her little sibling…I’m so curious…

#ignore me #mimi reviews #the left right game #alice isn't dead #harley quinn and the joker sound mind #the burned photo #blackwood #gaslight #ice-cream #cascadia #within the wires #rabbits #wake of corrosion #ars paradoxica #i can't believe i had the patience to tag all these...

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starry-eyed-guttersnipe · 1 year

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What is “followed by your ghost stepping on your shadow”???

oh man congratulations Hayles you have found far and away the most embarrassing thing on this list! I debated even including it lmao but I’m willing to laugh at myself about this SO

this is 12k of Voltron fanfic (Sheith, and so help me if after all these years I get shit about it, lmao), AU around season 3/4 era surrounding Shiro’s disappearance and clone Shiro showing up. the embarrassing part is that it’s 12 fucking k for a show that's been off the air for years and it’s just sitting here unfinished, omfg.

the basic premise is that Shiro is trapped between worlds, and hanging around the others as a ghost, watching as an (evil? mind-controlled?) clone of him shows up and wreaks havoc. here’s a snippet from the resolution, once Keith has figured out what’s going on:

It’s dark and silent when Shiro comes to.

He blinks the world into focus, and there’s Keith curled up next to him. It’s far from the first time he’s rematerialized in Keith’s room, so it takes him a moment to understand the disappointment weighing heavy on his lungs. The mission. For a moment, there, he’d really thought it might work. From the furrow in Keith’s brow, he’d guess his sleeping friend had thought the same.

He should get up, see if Allura or Coran are on the bridge, see if he can figure out if there’s another plan to try or if he’s S.O.L. But it’s been an eventful few days, and he’s tired in a way he hasn’t been since this whole thing started. His limbs are heavy, and his eyes are warm, and if he had a body he’d probably be running a fever right now. So he figures he’s justified in stealing just a few more minutes to lay here with Keith, taking in the smudge of shadows under his eyes, the smear of grease on his cheek, his hair an oil spill against the pillow, one hand curled up under it, the other -

The other pressed firmly against Shiro’s side, rising and falling with his breath.

He stares for a moment, uncomprehending. Keith has never been able to touch him before. What’s changed?

It clicks. He sucks in a breath that sticks in his lungs and gapes, paralyzed, at the miracle of Keith’s hand on his ribs.

His held breath sets off a chain reaction. Keith’s eyes fly open, and his fingers clench Shiro’s side through his thin sleep shirt as he scrambles upright. “Shiro-“ he says, frantic, his other hand joining the first -

It’s panic, not an order, but it might as well be one for how quickly Shiro responds. He takes a breath. His chest rises. Their eyes meet, and it burns. Keith is pale and wide-eyed, and his hands, still pressed firmly against Shiro, are trembling. “Oh,” he says, swallows. One shaking hand slides slowly upwards to cup Shiro’s face, and Shiro makes a noise that he refuses to call a whimper, because though this war has made him feel it often enough, he’s not a wounded animal.

“Shiro?” Keith repeats, more tentative than Shiro has heard him in a long time, and he realizes, stunned as he is, that he has yet to say a word.

“Keith,” he says hoarsely, because that’s the only word that matters, and it’s enough. Keith’s face crumples, and he collapses forward like his strings have been cut, burrowing close against Shiro. His own limbs are still slow to move, but Shiro wills his arms around Keith, draws him in and holds him close. He closes his eyes against a sudden swell of tears.

It worked. He’s here, he’s alive, and after months of absence and longing and the facsimile of touch he can hold Keith against him, real and solid. Really, it’s almost too much after so long without, but he reflexively holds tighter at the thought of letting go. He runs a hand up and down Keith’s shuddering back, soothing himself as much as anything else.

It’s a long few minutes with only the sounds of their hitching breath before Keith moves, pressing himself up with one forearm braced on Shiro’s chest, his free hand scrubbing at his face. Shiro reluctantly pulls his hand away from Keith’s hair; instead, he cups his cheek, and catches a spare tear with his thumb. He’d be embarrassed by his sentimentality if he had the energy, but he’s so tired, and it’s so unspeakably good to have Keith in his arms. He’ll forgive himself for being sappy, just this once.

Keith doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, he closes his eyes for a moment, leans his cheek further into Shiro’s palm. It’s another long breath before he opens his eyes and their gazes lock again. “Shiro,” he repeats, and returns the favor, wiping Shiro’s cheeks and then frowning, pressing the back of his hand to Shiro’s forehead. “You’re still burning up,” he says, concerned, breaking the spell they’re under. Keith is avoiding Shiro’s eyes, now. He sits up all the way, slides towards the edge of the bed, stands. “I should go tell Coran, he should check on you-“

“Don’t go,” Shiro says, shooting his hand out to grab Keith’s arm. Sudden desperation drops into his stomach like ice. He can’t help feeling like if he lets Keith out of his sight, he’ll lose him. He may not be too far off the mark - Keith’s body is coiled like he’s ready to run, and there’s something fragile in his face. “Please, I can’t -“

“Okay,” Keith interrupts, sitting back down. “Okay. I - Coran left a thermometer. I think it’s a thermometer? Let me make sure your fever isn’t climbing, at least.”

He takes an Altean device off the bedside table, and gently pulls his arm out of Shiro’s grasp. Surge of adrenaline passing, Shiro lets his hand fall onto his stomach. Keith pushes his fringe aside to put the device on his forehead. His hands are tentative, and Shiro’s brow furrows. Their easy camaraderie has certainly taken a hit since Kerberos, but surely Keith knows that his touch is welcome? That’s when he realizes Keith is right about this fever business, because of course - Keith can’t know his touch is welcome, because for the last few months, it hasn’t been.

“101,” Keith says, frowning. “You were at 104 when we brought you in, but that’s still pretty high.” Absent-minded, he runs his fingers through Shiro’s fringe again, brushes it back where it usually sits. Shiro doesn’t realize he’s smiling until Keith meets his eyes and blushes high on his cheeks. “You should drink some water and get some more rest. Here.”

Shiro drinks from the water pouch obligingly. Keith returns it to the bedside table and keeps his spot on the edge of the bed, facing away from Shiro. His back is curved, his elbows on his knees. It’s near the same pose he was in when he saw Shiro two days ago, and all of a sudden, Shiro is overwhelmingly tired. They both deserve to rest.

He rests a hand on Keith’s back. “Lie down,” he says quietly.

“Shiro…” Keith doesn’t look at him, but his shoulders tighten.

“Whatever you’re thinking, it’ll keep until morning. Please?”

Silence. He’s half-expecting Keith to get up and leave, but to his pleasant surprise, a moment later, Keith turns, swings his legs onto the bed. “Scoot over,” he says gruffly; Shiro obliges. He rolls on his side, and they curl towards each other like parentheses. His eyelids are heavy, but he stares into familiar eyes. It’s the first time Keith’s willingly met his gaze for more than a few seconds the whole night, and he doesn’t want it to end.

Either he’s said some of this aloud, or Keith is just skilled at reading him, because his lips quirk in a wry smile that doesn’t reach his eyes and he says “Go to sleep, Shiro.”

He’s not always good at following orders, but he’d do anything for Keith. He closes his eyes, and he’s out like a light.

#seg writes #thanks hayley 💜#answers from the gutter #followed by your ghost #it’s just 12k of over dramatic tenderness lbr

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thursday-writes-fanfics · 3 years

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Choose, part 4. (Reader x Jack Sparrow or Will Turner. )

Fandom: Pirates of the Caribbean, Will Turner, Jack Sparrow.

Warnings: None lmao

Words: 2.3 K

First - Former - Next

It's been a while since my last update, so here you go!

One year had passed since the faithed night in Tortuga, where Y/N left everything she once knew behind, to seek the truth she needed to find within. One eventful year where she had gone alone through more than most would in their lifetime. Travelling along with different crews, battling across the seas and polishing her hastily growing reputation as one of the most fearsome pirates the world has ever seen. None dared voice their annoyance with her being a woman, for she had allies all across the seven seas. She had seen so much of the world, her confidence grown and her heart set aflame with adventure. Y/N was an even finer pirate and woman than she had been ever before.

Other pirates either wished to be her or be with her, the secrets of many slipped into her ears. It amused the young woman, and the many who worked in the brothels along the coasts. When Y/N needed information, it was not other pirates or navy officials she sought out. No, it was the brothels’ gossip she tuned her ears to. For the women there knew far more of the world than any other. All news came to their homes and it was all available for the famous pirate.

She had earned an even better reputation with them as well, as she sought out the women there the first thing she did each time she came ashore. She treated them kindly, paid for their food and brought along gifts, treating them like friends. Her actions earned her a handsome reputation with the women, and in each town she could always find a loyal embrace to keep her safe. After all, the women of the brothels ruled the cities from the shadows. To anger one of them was to anger an underground nation.

Y/N’s locks had grown long since the night one year ago, her clothing expensive and proud on her frame. A treat she gave herself due to her wide success in both informal and formal businesses. She was a true pirate, yet could strike a bargain with the British navy without a problem. After all, they too were afraid of her.

The feather on her black hat curled down to her shoulder, its size another show of her wealth and power. The weaponry which clad her shape were the most efficient, on all the ships of the sea, not even the British army able to supply her better. Only the finest for herself, the woman had decided. Dual pistols she had strapped to each side of her chest, and upon both hips she held blades, one magnificent sabre and one deadly cutlass, all adorned with the most elaborate details. These were all weapons to show, the rest she had hidden in pockets and secret departments on her curves. Small explosives and hidden blades were better kept in subtle crevices than to be seen by the naked eye when one made deals. All about the fearsome pirate screamed confidence and to show respect, and that respect she had earned many times over.

“We’ll be docked in an hour, lass,” came the captain’s voice, the merry band she was travelling with now not as roughhousing as most of her fellow pirates. Mercenaries of the law they were during the day after all, and they weren’t too keen on going out during the night when there was ale to be drunk with stories to be told in old taverns. It was a life-altering change from how they had once been, when the captain and his crew had been young and adventurous. A smirk clad Y/N’s lips when she faced the man, her fingers fiddling with the sabre’s handle. “Aye, thought it was about time to dock, Captain Henry. And still I’m not sure if I will take my leave of you when we get there, or if I will meet the navy together with you in the morrow,” her deceptive nature made the captain laugh, for he knew just how little control anyone had over the young pirate. He joined her side with a few strides to the railing, gazing at the sea from the quarterdeck.

“Aye, ye do as ye wish, lassie,” mused the older man, finding his gaze once more sought out her face. “Yer not notorious for knowing every pirate for no reason. Can’t keep ye in place forever” he snickered, his mind on the many rumours he had heard over the past year of the pirate. He had seen it himself a few times too, how the famous Y/N had stepped off one ship only to board another in the same port. Her name was known by all, whether they liked her or not. Her presence on a ship could deter a dispute between two crews, for no one wanted her gone. And those who did were quick to find themselves cornered and silenced for good after voicing such atrocious thoughts aloud.

“Oh shut your gob, “ sneered the woman in reply, earning more laughter from the captain as his head fell back to let the thunderous noise wash over the ship. A simple “Never,” Henry retaliated, winning their argument as he strode to attend his crew and ensure the docking process would flow smoothly. Y/N watched the sea for a moment longer, trained on the horizon in an attempt to find a peculiar ship. One which carried black sails. Fingers carded through her hair as she thought about her old companions, but discarded the thoughts just as quickly. A turn of her heels and the woman came to face the incoming port, nothing she wished to see there either. A defeated smile curled her lips when she ventured to help her current crew, missing the hint of black that rounded a nearby island with a course for their port.

“ Alright, lads!” with easy leaps and muscles bunched for one last jump, Y/N climbed halfway up the crow's nest and gazed down at the many faces who all gave her their full attention.

“ I’m saying this just once because Henry doesn’t seem to be able to get it through your thick skulls. If we don’t get this cargo to the bay within the first few hours of us getting to port, the taverns will be full and the brothels closed,” the crew stared at the woman, most having just woken up from their midday nap. Too many faces were disinterested, the woman sneering maliciously as she knew exactly what would get them on their feet.

“Which means, no ale and no lovers!” Y/N roared, drawing enjoyment from the panic growing in the men’s eyes. They had been at sea for a month now, and the lot needed more than the icy waters could ever offer.

“So unless you wish to mope around the ship for the entire night, alone, get to it!” the crew leapt to their feet, their rushing steps and loud cries satisfying to Y/N’s ears. The pirate’s piercing eyes found the captain who let his chest heave with a sigh, not one to question the woman’s authority. She had gotten the crew off their asses with a single threat, when he had shouted at them all day to get ready. The ship groaned when they threw down the anchor, straining against it as it still wished to traverse further. A gangplank found its hold against the port, the cargo soon to cross over it. Both the captain and Alexandra oversaw the process, to ensure their goods would be gone by the hour.

“Ye know,” Captain Henry spoke after a long while, arms crossed over his broad chest. “Ye should consider becoming a captain one day,” Y/N snapped her head to face the man, eyes threatening to fall out. “Me? A captain?” she ridiculed, shocked by his words. The captain let a snicker pass his lips at her surprise, for being able to shock the immovable Y/N was quite amusing. Work roughened hand, tainted by the deep sea came to rest on his back, clasped together.

“Just sayin’. Ye’ve got the guts and respect for it,” with a smirk the captain passed his current crewmate, stepping onto the railing. “I will leave the rest to ye, for I am in need of a drink,” a wink was sent the woman’s way before Captain Henry made his way down the docks, disappearing without a trace. His back was followed by Y/N’s incredulous gaze.

“You fucking bastard,” Y/N shouted after him, her spiteful words only a show of affection to them both. With a shake of her head and a smirk on her lips growing when she heard the captain’s faraway laughter, the pirate got back to work. With an easy step, she leapt atop the railing, gazing at the crew working by her side.

“We’re making good time, lads! If you keep this up you’re probably going to be one of the first crews of the night to get to the pubs!” Y/N encouraged them. The merry men laughed and cheered whilst their work pace increased tenfold at the praise and promises of entertainment. Even the stand-in captain dared to laugh herself, unaware of how many eyes watched her joy from far out at sea.

It started with Ragetti looking through the captain’s spyglass, minding his own business as they had yet to start preparing to get docked. When turning his eye to the port city, he could tear his wandering gaze when it laid eyes on an extremely familiar figure. Too far away to make out entirely, yet the pirate was certain of who he saw. None he had ever encountered before looked and stood like their old acquaintance.

“Oh, would you look at that!” the pirate laughed, Pintel looking over at him with a raised brow. The spyglass fell from his eye, Ragetti free hand pointing to one of the largest ships docked in the nearing port.

“Y/N is aboard Henry the Savage’s boat!” the words he spoke carried over the deck, the silence that followed deafening, the group trying to comprehend what had just been said. A moment later and the crew rushed like a stampede for the two pirates who shrieked in fright at the threatening approach. The spyglass was taken from Ragetti’s hand and passed to them all to get a look for themselves.

“I can’t see ‘er!”

“Is it really Y/N the Courageous you saw?”

“Courageous? No! Her title is the Unbeatable!

“No, she’s Y/N the Ace of the Sea! The greatest pirate yet!”

The commotion on deck drew Will and Jack from the captain’s cabin, the crew’s loud and incoherent discussions about titles and names soon finding their ears. The former blacksmith was with the crew temporarily, as he had a job to be done with them before they ventured to Port Royal. Both captain and his companion froze in their steps when a well-known name echoed across the crew over and over. A shocked gaze was shared, but the two strode forth together for they could not believe in illusions just because a name was mentioned a few times.

“Right. What’s all this then?” came from the captain’s chest, the crew jumping at the sound of his voice. Jack Sparrow regarded them all with his hands propped on his hips, the loyal blacksmith at his side. Gibbs was the first to speak and took matters into hand, roughly pulling the spyglass from the nearest pirate’s. “It’s Y/N, Jack,” his words piqued further interest in the two newcomers, the two striding through the parting crew to the first mate.

“Y/N?” Will asked, unable to hide the hope that bubbled up in his voice at the mention of her name. The blue eyes grew clearer, not the wistful one’s the crew had come to be familiar with. Jack snatched the spyglass from Gibbs’ offered hand and turned to face the port. With his gaze, he followed the finger pointing at the supposedly familiar pirate. Jack froze upon seeing who they meant, eye narrowing when he stared her down. “No, it can’t be her,” the captain muttered, more to himself than anybody else.

“Far too curvy and longer hair. She didn’t look so cheerful to everyone all the time,” the jealousy and denial dripped from the captain’s tongue, the disbelief he held in his heart fading with each second.

“Can’t be her. No way, you’re all dreaming,” Jack continued before yelping as Will tore the spyglass from his hands, the force of it almost making the captain fall overboard. The blacksmith’s own gaze sought the port for the one they spoke of, his heart beating so quickly it drowned out all sound.

He too came to stand still once he found her form. She stood proud and tall upon Henry the Savage’s railing, her hand thrown out as she barked orders to the crewmates. And there on her lips was a grin, a grin that only the closest of her friends had seen before. Now as she shared it with the rest of the world, the former blacksmith’s blood boiled with jealousy.

“It’s her. There’s no way it’s not her,” Will snarled in reply to Jack’s incessant mumbling, handing the spyglass to Cotton. Will turned to the Black Pearl’s crew, and just like the woman on the other ship, began to bark orders. Where hers had been kind and joyous, he’s were angry and determined orders, none on the ship daring to stand in his way. The desperation in his anger was evident, and the fact that their own Captain Jack did nothing but mumble was a telltale sign that this was a serious matter. Otherwise, Will would have had a sword at his neck for even attempting to command the crew. Their efforts to hurry were doubled, when Jack regained his mind only to shout orders alongside his friend.

Oh, how oblivious the woman they had sought for was, for she heard none of the shouting on the nearing ship. For her well-beloved face was already being shown in one of her favourite taverns.

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duckugou · 3 years

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hate loving you

Bakugou x gn!reader (drabble kinda)

cw: angst!!!!! no happy ending lmao sorry. toxic gross relationship. Dont ever be in a relationship like this man. mentions of sex. just really awful LMAOOOO

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no children by the mountain goats feels like having a toxic relationship with bakugou

you started dating in high school and became so gross towards each other but couldnt leave because of the love you both somehow felt.

i hope that our few remaining friends give up on trying to save us i hope we come up with a fail-safe plot to piss off the dumb few that forgave us

All of your friends end up pushing you away after trying to convince you to leave one another, failing every time. They couldnt stand to watch you wreck each other anymore.

Besides Mina and Kirishima. They stuck around in case you guys got in one of your nasty fights and split for a week, one of you needing somewhere to stay.

i hope the fences we mended fall down beneath their own weight and i hope we hang on past the last exit i hope it's already too late

Fight after fight, jab after jab, you still came back. Mended the bridges and had wild make up sex. Neither of you could give it up, wanting to fix each other and prove everyone wrong.

You lay in bed with each other every night and know deep down that this relationship is bad, but you needed each other like air.

i hope i cut myself shaving tomorrow i hope it bleeds all day long our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises we're pretty sure they're all wrong

Bakugou began to resent you before you began to resent him. He hated that he relied on you for happiness even though you caused his pain. He drank almost every night and wanted you to fucking disappear but needed you in his arms at night or he would go crazy. And that made him hate himself too. If he loved you he would stop this gross routine of hurting you and making it up to you.

But wouldn't you do that too, if you loved him?

It felt like a trap, a hell you both made and couldnt get out of.

i hope it stays dark forever i hope the worst isn't over and i hope you blink before I do and I hope I never get sober

He decided on a wednesday night that he would hate you forever. You decided to hate him about 4 months prior. It was a train wreck- Mina lectured you every time you complained about the cheating, the yelling, the arguments about cleaning- why the hell did you move in together in the first place?

You hated him. You hated that he made you weak enough to need someone borderline abusive. Why couldnt you walk away? Because after everything, his hugs and kisses still felt like home and made everything better for a night.

Wasn't that enough? That you...loved each other?

Was this really even love?

and i hope when you think of me years down the line you can't find one good thing to say and i'd hope that if i found the strength to walk out you'd stay the hell out of my way

He made you so miserable every night, coming home with hickeys that werent from you or a new scar from fighting, it was never ending. Seeing him walk through the door became dreadful. So you wanted to hurt him back.

You cheated on him for the first time on a friday night and felt free. It was amazing how someone else's lips made you forget the cruel words you spat at Bakugou before you left- how someone elses hands on you erased all of the times Bakugou slammed the door on you.

And when you walked in with hickeys on your neck that werent from him, he lost it. He wanted to kill the person who did it and then you.

He felt pain he didn't think was possible. And he needed to get you back.

Thats how it became a competition to make each other the more miserable of the two. And you stayed because every week, he would sink his cock into you and you'd both remember that nobody fucks either of you as good as this. You know each others bodies.

You'd be better off as a booty call for each other but- neither of you could stand the idea of the other being happy with someone else and without you- not after all the shit you've put each other through.

But damn, did you want to leave each other more and more every day.

i am drowning there is no sign of land you are coming down with me hand in unlovable hand and i hope you die i hope we both die

It was a cycle of hell that you were stuck in. It was addicting and disgusting. It was toxic and you both knew it.

But you 'd never end the cycle. Not at this point. It was too late, you were in too deep.

The hate and love for each other fought every day. And that's how it would be forever, it seemed.

#bakugou x y/n #bakugou x reader #bakugou fic #bakugou angst #bakugou drabble #mha imagine #mha fanfic #mha fic #mha angst #mha x reader #gn!reader

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sailorhyunjinz · 3 years

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𝕴𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖔𝖘𝖙 𝕾𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖘 𝐈𝐈

Pairing; Bartender!Changbin x Fem!reader (she/her pronouns)

Warning ; ANGST!!! SMUT!! skz side characters, semi-slow burn, hurt/comfort, strangers to lovers, depiction of mental disorders, consumption of alcohol, tobacco use, dysfunctional families, mentions of undereating, vague hints to eating d-sorders mentions of crimes, mentions of blades, fainting, mentions of dr-g use, arguments, mentions of savior complex, mentions of childhood neglect, depiction of depression, mentions of needles, mentions of blades, yelling, mentions of hangover, parental issues (lmao cherry just say daddy issues), arguments

𝘕𝘚𝘍𝘞 ; PIV, unprotected sex, hair pulling, drooling, getting caught, masturbation, fingering, clitoral stimulation, orgasm (f).

(fic header made by @yjeongs! thank u cora <33)

𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 ; 10.0 k

From one survivor to another; cheers you guys.

O N E ｜ T W O

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ Playlist ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

Drugs N Hella Melodies - Don Toliver, Kali Uchis

Life is a Bi... - Bibi

cigarette and condom - Bibi

Empty Trash - LØREN

Noir - Sunmi

NEED - LØREN

Pretty Boy - The Neighbourhood

(hint hint look at the lyrics <33)

𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥.

𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘰𝘧 18.

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈𝐈 ; 𝐌𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐢𝐚

Three months.

Three months of booze, questionable substances, friends and most importantly.

Him.

Seo Changbin.

You never knew you could feel this deep about someone, there hadn’t been a reason earlier in your life since everyone in it either used you or abused you. But you knew he was different from the first time you saw him that night in the dark room, injured and surrounded by 7 other boys that were now your closest friends. Why would anyone ever want to leave this place? There was everything! Free drinks, ear-deafening music and your boyfriend. This was heaven for a hurt soul like you, so why would anyone search for an exit in this box of traitors?

“O-oh fuck! Changbin!” you cried out as the momentum of his thrusts made you jolt forward, hands desperately trying to grab onto the black leather of the sofa you and him had made love on countless times, the door always being unlocked since there wasn’t a lock and this damn parallel universe wasn’t gonna install one anytime soon.

Changbin grabbed your hair, twisting it around his hand as he pounded into you from the back, the supple valleys of your ass wobbling with each movement. Your voice became frail, stuttering and moaning his name in broken syllables along many other pleas and swearwords, the way your words became incoherent the longer he fucked you made his head lull backwards, pure music to his ears unlike that shitty music that blasted through the speakers on the dancefloor that was just next to the tiny dark room that was currently filled with the scent of sex and lust. Your head was tilted up, eyes tightly shut as you clenched around Changbin’s leaking cock that was jackhammering into your wet cunt, his dick glistening with your slick every time his hips moved away from you and reflected in the minimal light of the room. He grunted as all kinds of lewd sounds were heard from you, the skin slapping against each other and the squelching noise of your pussy being filled with his cock. His hands had a tight grip on your hips, his fingers digging into your skin as the pleasure surged through every nerve of his body, sweat beading around on his temples. Your arms could barely hold you up, quivering and risking to collapse under you causing you to put your head towards the seat, warm cheek against the slightly cold leather. With your back fully arched your ass perked up, Changbin hitting exactly the right place in this position, a small stream of drool hanging from the corner of your swollen lips. You were so close to your release, hanging on by a thread to not tip over the edge and be sent spiraling down an earth shaking orgasm.

“C-changbin, I’m gonna f-fucking cum” you stutter, reaching your hands backwards to which he let go of your hair and instead grabbed your wrists, holding you in place and pushing you down onto his cock. Your voice was no longer a whimper but instead a scream, goosebumps erupting on your soft skin as you panted, Changbin viciously thrusting inside you and being fueled by your pleasured sounds, he got off by the fact that you felt good. You were so close. So close.

“QUICK!! FELIX FUCKING FAINTED” Jisung said, bursting through the door but immedietly regretting his decision as he yelled out into the room that was now filled with your yelp and the loud club music from outside.

“For fuck sake Jisung! Knock!” Changbin growled at the boy, you trying to grab your clothes off the floor and desperately covering yourself as Jisung stod in the doorway with panicked eyes, flailing his arms around in an anxious state. He was more appalled by seeing Felix passed out than he was seeing Changbin fucking you from behind.

“NO TIME FOR KNOCKING, JUST FUCKING MOVE” he said, signaling his hands to follow him. In a haste you put on your clothes that weren’t much more than a skirt and a tight shirt, oh and of course your sexy panties, you had leveled up from your previous looks that made you look like a distressed mother of 4. Now you knew when you were gonna pass out and you even teleported in the phonebooth instead of injuring your head against the wall as you fainted. Changbin did the same, putting on only his pants as he ran after Jisung, you following shortly after, scared about what you were gonna witness.

The main dance floor looked like it usually did. People high, drunk or both, dancing and singing their hearts out, falling over and tumbling down on the floor. The whole place reeked of straight liquor and the music was loud enough for anyone to go deaf. You held Changbin’s hand as he dragged you through the crowd, not letting his eyes go from Jisung’s figure that was leading the both of you to the back end of the club, pushing through people and muttering small apologies that couldn’t be heard by even yourself. When you got to the end of the big place you saw Felix, his back and head against the table as he was completely knocked out, his legs dangling from the end of the rectangular table. You climbed on top of the soft seatings of the booth, putting your cheek near his nose and mouth. You didn’t hear if he was breathing but you were assured as you felt his cold breath against your hot flesh, sighing in relief.

“How is he?!” Jisung yelled, “is he dying?”

You shook your head, grabbing his limp wrist and putting your pointer and middle finger on the underside of his limb, his veins not visible in the dark lighting of the club. His pulse was stable, beating faintly.

“He’ll be alright!” you yelled back, the concerned gazes of the other boys standing around the boy exhaling as they heard your words, Changbin going closer to Felix and putting his hand on his shoulder, shaking the boy and repeating his name over and over again but to no avail. Seungmin rubbed the palm of his hand against his exposed forehead as his hair was pushed back.

“I’ll stay here with him, Changbin fetch me a water bottle and,,, wait,,, why did he even faint in the first place?” he asked, the boys looking at each other until they landed on Jisung that looked distressed, his pinkish lips quivering.

“Probably a nice concoction of no food and only alcohol” he said, peering down at his black boots, his hair flopping onto his face, too shy to meet the gazes of his friends as if he had done something wrong himself. Seungmin could only sigh, you patting Jisung on the back as you walked through the jumping crowd again, the song changing as you heard Seungmin say “get him something Changbin”, their voices fading into the beat as you walked with Jisung behind you.

Jisung slammed the door as you two were back in the room that had only moments earlier been filled with helpless whimpers and pleas. You threw yourself on the wrinkly couch, looking away in shyness when remembering that Jisung had caught the two of you even if everyone knew that you guys fucked in that very same room whenever there was time and Changbin wasn’t standing in the bar. The young boy sat down on the dark floor, leaning his elbow against the seat of the sofa as his twinkling eyes met yours.

“I,,, just don’t understand” he said, you tilting your head in wonder as he uttered those words.

“Don’t understand what Sungie?” you said, the walls almost vibrating from the bass of the song from outside. He sighed as he momentarily looked away from you.

“Felix,,, like it’s so clear that he needs help, just over the last few months his cheeks have sunken in and his eyes are completely matte and lifeless” he said, his voice trembling as a lump of tears was stuck in his throat.

“But aren’t you the same Jisung? You need help too, help to stop thinking that everyone is your responsibility. I understand that you want to help him,,, but you carrying everyone's emotional baggage has landed you here. Felix will get help by those that are capable of getting him that help, you aren’t Jisung.”

His eyes shot up at you, dark as his eyebrows furrowed, his jaw clenching in anger. He felt attacked, commenting on his actions usually made him feel offended.

“I am capable of helping him. What about you then huh? You can’t even help your own boyfriend” he snarked, running his hand over his hair in frustration. You rolled your eyes at him, watching him as he bit the inside of his cheek. He needed to do that, he couldn’t tell you the fact that one day your boyfriend is just gonna disappear since he’s actually taking matters into his own hands and getting help.

“Don’t say that Jisung, we both try our best,,, let’s not fight over something we can’t control” you say, your voice getting frail by the end of the sentence.

“Can’t control? We can, we can help each other!” he said, banging the palm of his hand against the warm leather of the couch, making you jump in fear. You dropped down on your knees, your eyes being on the same level as his as you looked at him, the young boy diverting his gaze immediately.

“Jisung, look at me.” You grabbed his other hand that was resting in his lap against the rough material of his jeans. “We try, that’s the best we can do. Change comes from within. Nobody can save us if we don’t save ourselves.” Jisung sighed loudly, swallowing harshly, the both of you flinching when somebody burst through the black door. Changbin was carrying Felix on his back, the male still passed out on his broad shoulders. Your boyfriend looked puzzled at the scene before him. His girlfriend holding hands with one of his closest friends, sitting close enough to feel his breath against her cheek, both looking like two helpless deers caught in headlights. He furrowed his eyebrows as he walked into the room, throwing Felix off his shoulder and positioning him into a semi-prone position in order to open the airways. You and Jisung stood up, looking at the blonde boy and how his eyelashes layed gently against his lower eyelid. Changbin looked at Felix for a while before turning to you with a serious expression.

“So,,, what happened here?” he said to which you shrugged.

“Me and Jisung just talked,,, about Felix” you answered, Changbin uttering a little “oh” as his previous rather unfaithful suspicions were proven to be false. “There’s no need to worry, he’s breathing so he won’t be in any medical danger as of right now but somebody needs to keep an eye on him,,, in case something changes.” You smiled at him talking.

“Alright doctor Changbin” you said while giggling, hugging him and him wrapping his sturdy arms around you, looking at Jisung’s mellow expression, eyes brimming with tears as he sat down on his knees on the floor once again, pushing a lock of hair from Felix’s delicate face, cupping his cheek that was once plump but now gaunt. Changbin pulled away from your comforting embrace and patted Jisung on the shoulder, bending his knees to get closer to him.

“Do you wanna keep an eye on him, Ji?” he asked to which the boy nodded, not answering with words, not even a gaze at the male that was talking to him. He turned around to look at you, pointing his chin towards the door, signaling for the two of you to get out and leave the two boys alone to which you nodded, following Changbin out and gently closing the door behind you by turning the knob and releasing it slowly. The music got louder and louder as you two walked in the long corridor before ending up on the main floor, the corridor going to the bar and you could only get onto the dance floor by exciting through the wooden gate of the bar.

“I’ll go find the others, you should work!!” you yelled through the music and Changbin nodded, giving you a kiss on the lips before you exited through the gate, being careful to knock any of the liquor bottles on the walls over and causing a ruckus like you’d done once before, being black-out drunk and trying to hobble your way through to god knows where, accidentally swinging your arms towards the shelfs. Luckily everything restores itself in this universe.

People were doing their usual activities in all corners of the club, making out against a wall or jumping, spilling their drinks on the floor that Changbin would have to mop up afterwards when he steps in the sticky liquid that pressed up against ones shoe. It was impossible to see who was who in the dark room, the neon lights on the roof changing colors but not making it easier for you, especially not with the commotion around you, individuals bumping into each other. In the distance you saw a hand waving, a familiar hand that was decked out in maybe a thousand silver rings, all with intricate designs that could only be seen from up close. Next thing you see is Hyunjin jumping, the bedazzled hand belonging to the long haired blonde male that always made sure to use the most expensive perfume. You made your way over to him, the male smiling brightly as he sat down on the edge of the cubical sofa, the other males being around the table that Felix was lying unconscious on just a brief moment earlier. The table was filled with half empty beer bottles along with red glimmering packs of cigarettes that belonged to some of them. Hyunjin patted the seat next to him, scooting closer to Jeongin that was ruffling his slightly sweaty hair, putting the bottle green top against his lip and taking a sip, his adam's apple moving as he swallowed.

Hyunjin was different, different from anyone else in this place. You’d expect him to have the best life imaginable due to his family background. His father was the CEO of an influential business and his mother being his fathers assistant, both living a lavish life and providing for their only son, Hyunjin. But no amount of wealth can buy happiness. You don’t know the entire story but what you have heard when he was drunk and barely able to speak is that he was bullied all throughout school, struggling with the pressure being put on him by his parents to become a businessman just like his father. It ate Hyunjin alive to everyday go to sleep and feel like a failure that wasn’t able to live up to his parents expectations. He wasn’t worth this lifestyle he thought as he mindlessly doodled on the edge of his college application papers, it was easier to end it. He felt like a coward, always taking the easy way out but that’s how he’d lived his entire life. Getting help wasn’t an option, it would bring shame upon the family if anyone found out that he went to therapy and besides, his family didn’t believe in mental illnesses, it was simply to “go on a run” to feel better. “Then why the fuck am I not feeling better? I’ve ran miles but my mind runs faster” he wrote in the small black notebook he kept in his bedside table, hiding it together with his cigarettes under piles of papers and books. That’s how he ended up here, being together in a little group consisting of Chan and Minho along with some other people that had already departed from the place he felt the safest.

You gave a smile to Hyunjin, grabbing the beer bottle in front of him, earning a little “hey!” from him but you drank it anyway as you laughed at his reaction, the bitterness spreading throughout your mouth. You exhaled, putting the bottle down harshly, the loud sound being drowned out by the music. Hyunjin laughed along with you, he seemed kinda distant, his pupils dilated. With furrowed eyebrows you looked at the other boys that looked back at you in a confused manner.

“Something wrong y/n?” Seungmin asked, his cheeks slightly red from the heat that was radiating off everybody in the room, the tension heightening the temperature. Your eyes landed on Minho who looked equally as dazed as Hyunjin, looking up at the ceiling as the crown of his head rested against the dark walls in an uncomfortable manner.

“You guys definitely did something” you said to which Hyunjin laughed, now stealing Minho’s drink since he was completely immersed at how the colors changed.

“Of course we did,,, if we were gonna do it, why not here?” he said, looking at you through hooded eyes, his gaze sharp as pin needles, the black smudged eyeliner around his eyes not making it easier to escape the way you drowned in them. It was true, here was the place where you could be yourself, do whatever you pleased and act reckless as long as you didn’t hurt anybody, a rule Minho found difficult. It’s not that he wanted to hurt people, it’s just that he couldn’t help himself. Something bad was gonna happen if he didn’t. So that’s what the switchblade was for, not to hurt anyone but just in case he needed to add another felony to his list. You didn’t even wanna know what substances that ran through his veins but you felt bad for him. He was a slave to his own thoughts, sometimes even his own actions. He had no other choice but to obey them, do everything that the voices whispered faintly into his ear, a serenade of revenge to everyone that has never believed in him, considered him a shame and neglected him. No, not him. His inner child.

Seungmin grabbed the red carton of cigarettes, the crimson wrapper unfolding itself when he opened the lid and grabbed one of the deathsticks whose orange ends were looking up at him. He picked one up, putting it to his lips and patting down his sides in search for a lighter but to no avail. He sighed out of the corner of his mouth, gesturing towards Hyunjin by flicking his pointer finger upwards, the blonde boy reaching over to his pocket and retrieving a white lighter that he put on the glossy mahogany table and scooted across it, Seungmin grabbing it as it nearly fell to his feet. He thanked Hyunjin by lazily saluting with two fingers before igniting the cigarette, the deep purple fading out into a light orange at the tip of the flame, the smoke evaporating around Seungmin as he puffed, exhaling straight ahead of him, poor Jeongin beside him coughing.

“What’s even the purpose of these?” Jeongin said, grabbing the packet and examining it closely, twisting and turning the small box.

“What’s the purpose of your life?” Seungmin answered with an evil laugh, you wanting to bend over the table and smack him across the face for talking like that to the youngest. Jeongin shrugged his shoulders, smirking at Seungmin.

“Touchè I guess” he said, a smile hiding his pain. “Can I get one?” he said as he nudged Seungmin on the shoulder, the boy already taking his second puff. Seungmin didn’t answer, simply placing the cigarettes and Hyunjin’s white lighter in front of him. You stared at Seungmin in disbelief for a moment before throwing yourself over Hyunjin’s lap, grabbing the two objects and clutching them tightly in your hand. Hyunjin flinched at the sudden commotion, all the boy’s eyes were on you, tilting their heads like confused puppies.

“Don’t you even dare Yang Jeongin” you said, him looking at you with twinkling innocent eyes. He nodded and you turned your head back to Seungmin. “And you, no actually all of you, quit it” you said, a moment of silence flew by before all of them bursted out in laughter.

“fucking,,, tell that to your boyfriend first” Minho said, him finally awake from his trance “if you manage to get him to stop then we’re all with you y/n” he said, laughing, his two front teeth poking out like a rabbit. You sighed, looking at the four boys but noticing Chan was missing.

“Where’s Chan?” you asked, Seungmin shrugging as he exhaled grey smoke again.

“He hasn’t arrived yet,, don’t know what he’s up to” he answered, putting the orange end to his plump lips, pink in color but this being impossible to see in the changing neon lighting. “I wonder how Lixie is doing,,,” he added with a sigh. Good you hoped, the last three months have been nothing but a downward spiral to hell for the boy, everyday the gleam from his eyes got duller and duller until they were matte with fatigue. You remember a distinct moment that happened in the first couple of weeks in the club, you still getting to know the peculiar characters that moved around in this place. Felix was sitting in the bar, you sitting right next to him, the whole conversation was difficult to hear due to the music and chatter from people but you guys made do.

“You know that song? By Radiohead?” he said. You shrugged and shook your head.

“Which one?” you asked, taking a sip from your drink that was unfortunately made by another bartender, Changbin not being there yet.

“That one where they sing ‘I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul’” he said with a giggle, grabbing his glass and taking a swig of the poison in his glass, decorated with lemons and limes. You laughed with him, not knowing what he meant, thinking he was just spewing random words at you from being intoxicated.

“Yeah, what about it?” you said, the young boy’s smile fading away as he gulped, placing down the drink.

“I don’t know,,, I often listen to it on the bus or home alone,,, it tells me something but I can’t place my finger on what exactly” he said with a loud sigh, resting his cheek on his hand that was bent against the dark wooden bar.

“Isn’t it the lyrics?” you said, “the fact that you want to be perfect in every way?” Felix hummed for a minute before nodding his head slowly.

“It’s not even that I want to be perfect because that’s what society taught me,,, it’s because I live in a false reality where I believe that people will love me and appreciate me more if i tweak everything” he blurted out, going silent and sipping his drink slowly.

“I’m happy that you know that it’s false but,,, what’s stopping you?” you asked, looking at the boy whose eyes were gazing at the wooden stick inside his drink, stirring it over and over again.

“Because,,, if I stop,,, I won’t be sick enough”

The both of you got silent after he remarked those words. Felix got silent because he thought he’d said something wrong. You got silent because you knew how that felt, that someone was going through your struggles.

“You don’t prove anything by that Felix. I k-know this is gonna sound stupid and you’ve heard it so many times but,,, just know that I love you no matter how you look. I’m happy that you’re here Lixie”

You looked at him and his dark brown eyes met yours, glittering once again, rounded as if he’d heard the best news of his life. He opened his arms and you stood up on the floor, hugging him and squeezing him by the sides.

“I’m happy that you are here too y/n” he whispered in your ear, barely audible from the loud bumping of the music. You pulled off the hug and shimmied up the bar stool again, putting the transparent glass edge to your lips and feeling the liquor trickle down your throat.

“I was thinking of getting those words tattooed on me but now that I think about it, I want those words tattooed on me but with a big red x over it.” You smiled together with him, his dimples being carved into those freckled cheeks along with his bleak eyeshadow, his lips a cherry tint.

“You should.”

“Oh fuck-” you cursed as you woke up on your living room floor that was covered in dust and crumbs that was a trail all the way to the kitchen. You sighed every time you were back in reality, in the cursed world that wanted nothing else but to crush you under its fingertips. A patter was heard from outside, gentle raindrops decorating your windows as they were falling from the dusky skies. The rain was at least better you thought, in the sun you felt immense guilt for not being as happy as everyone around you, scrolling through your phone and seeing pictures of old classmates on trips and drinking out in the basking sun, wearing sundresses and hats. Being picturesque.

You made your own fun. Late wine nights and therapy appointments early in the morning where you get drilled with information that you could actually use to get better but you decide to cancel it all out. It was impossible to take in. Or maybe you wanted this now? Like Felix said, you wanted to remain sick enough even if there is no such thing. It used to be about not wanting to leave your comfort zone as odd as it sounds. You had struggled with your mental health for as long as you could remember and getting better would mean that you would have to make active changes in your life that at the moment didn’t seem appealing. But now it wasn’t about that. It was about Changbin. Getting better would mean that you would have to leave him, not only him but all the other friends you made at the club for the last months. They felt closer than family especially since you’d barely had one in the past. You wanted to stay by Changbin for forever but did you want to suffer for just as long?

Little did you know, Changbin didn’t.

You stood up from the wooden floorboards, stepping closer to the balcony door and seeing the rain cover the streets, lonesome people walking with umbrellas and rain jackets through the storm, probably on their way home to a delicious home cooked meal, a comfortable bed and a stable mind. You only had one of those things but you, in contrast from before the club, didn’t get jealous when you saw those people down at the rainy street. You had your own happiness that was Changbin.

Every time you said his name your heart started racing, your knees almost bent underneath you as you walked back to the couch, no lights turned on in the entire odorous apartment. With a thump you fell with your back against the comforting material, once again being swallowed by a fort of pillows and clothes that you haven’t been bothered to put away. The tv display stood blank, your silhouette reflecting in the matte sheen of the screen, your face almost hanging low with boredom. What was there to do when you weren’t in Changbin’s secure arms?

It was as if his name rolled off your tongue. Smooth as butter, sweet as syrup. You closed your eyes, eyelashes fluttering against your cheek, tickling the sensitive skin on your face. Underneath your lids pictures flashed by in bright colors, not from imagination but from memory. The pictures radiated their energy through your entire body, sending shivers down to the tips of your toes as you saw the faces of your best friends and boyfriend, their smiles creating red apples on their cheeks.

You wondered how many of those smiles were fake.

A wave of arousal shot through your body as remembered the events that took place before Jisung had a chance to ruin them, how Changbin grunted next to your ear, his hot breath teasing the shell of your ear as he whispered, the movements of his hips going from rolling to pounding, the room filling with the lewd noises of skin slapping against each other accompanied with your tiny whimpers, pleading him to make you cum. You couldn’t help but to rub your legs together, shifting in the grey sofa that was decorating your trash pile of a living room, the other decor pieces being empty bottles and white used tissues that were tiny houses to your tears. You peeked down quickly, seeing that you were still in your party clothes that consisted of a shirt and a short skirt that was sitting kinda lopsided on the base of your hips, hugging your skin tightly. With a rapid hand you removed the garment by unzipping it by the side, kicking the fabric towards the end of the couch with your feet that were bare, you managed to toss your sneakers away whilst you were deep in your imaginations. Except for the bright colors in your mind, the rest of the apartment was dark, not a single light being switched on. Your light source for many of your lonesome nights were the grey poles on which a bulbous light hung, a so-called street light. The blue cold light shone inside, deep dark shadows being casted on the walls by the trees that decorated the sidewalk.

Lines started to blur between the real and the fake, not sure if you actually felt Changbin’s hands wrapped around your neck or if it was just yet another illusion your mind has decided to put forward. You could feel the warmth from his hands surging down your neck, soothing your heart in a comforting way. It was as if you were being held in a way that made your blood run south, loved and aroused at the same time. It was as if a ball of warmth bubbled inside you, encapsulating you in its aura of happiness and distraction, your hand teasing the the skin on your lower abdomen before it plunged beneath the small pair of cotton panties that had been violently pulled off by your boyfriend some time ago, exactly how much was something you couldn’t tell, the universe simply didn’t allow time.

Time is an arrow.

It always goes forward.

Under the thin elastic your fingers started moving on their own, like they knew what to do, almost imitating what Changbin had done so many nights prior to this one on that murky couch. You couldn’t help but to wonder if he missed you right this moment. Was was he doing? What was he thinking? You wondered if he thought about you whenever he pleasured himself, if it was your name that echoed in the four empty walls of his broken down apartment whenever he came. The thought of his hand wrapped around his cock as he groaned made you sweat, the skin on the underside your knees sticking to each other as your knees were bent, soles flat against the frowning sofa. Automatically you spread your legs, one resting against the wallpapered surface as the other one hung out from the edge of the sofa. With your middle finger you felt the slippery surface, gathering your slick as you swiped up your finger, coating the sensitive bud in stickiness. You clenched around nothing, thinking about how Changbin whispered his praises in a sweet tone like a serenade.

“You’re doing so well y/n, fuck,,, you’re so pretty princess”

You nodded despite there being no one to see, small whimpers forcing their way out of your throat as two fingers circled your clit, spreading one pussy lip with a third finger, widening the area of contact. Your spine arched at anticipation, a faraway feeling approaching with quick strides as you squirmed your hips, butt digging into couch cushions as your gently pinched your slick-covered clit. Your hole was practically begging for more, velvety walls throbbing for pleasure that you didn’t mind giving, slowly inserting your middle finger, followed by a second finger, hissing at the initial stretch and getting used to the feeling, wiggling your fingers inside just like Changbin always does but his fingers filled you up better accompanied by the small marks he left all over your torso and tits, sucking on your delicate nipples with his wet tongue, leaving a trail of saliva as he licked around the valley of your tits, the ticklish feeling causing you to throw your head back.

“f-faster binnie” you said into thin air, there being no one to answer your request except your fingers that started going faster in and out of your squelching hole, using your thumb to nudge on your clit, desperately trying to move it in circles and moaning as pleasure built up in the pit of your core. You licked your lips, coating them in a thin sheen of spit, imagining his soft lips pressing up against yours, his tongue coaxing yours as he licked your bottom lip, nibbling on it before slipping it into your mouth, the soft surface meeting yours, a languid kiss being exchanged as he panted into the kiss, you whining gently in between breaths. Your hair stood in a mess as you rubbed your head against the fluffy pillow under you, a couple of stray pieces sticking to your forehead that was covered in a lustre of sweat, reflecting in the small amount of light that was looming in the room together with you. Your mind blurred with lewd scenes with him, curving your fingers inside you in order to reach your g-spot and being startled by your own moan when you did, it simply felt too good, especially when thinking that it was his fingers that plunged into your wetness.

“Just a little bit more y/n,, o-oh shit,,, f-fuck i’m gonna cum”

His voice ringed in your ears, it didn’t have to be loud to be memorable and make your head spin with pure amativeness. Your fingers started to hurt from how vigorously you were pumping them inside yourself, bringing yourself to the edge as you imagined that it was Changbin’s cock, twitching and begging from release, wishing he would cum inside you and paint your walls in his milky white cum, the hot liquid oozing out of your swollen pussy. Your clit throbbed, your breathing getting uneven between your parted lips, your hand being slightly restricted by the fabric of your underwear.

“Cum for me baby”

It was an automatic response. Your hips convulsing upwards, high-pitched moans bouncing off the walls as you continued to tease your clit, pulling out your fingers and rubbed the swollen bud up and down into overstimulation until you it hurt, your eyes tightly squeezed, small droplets of tears teasing the corners of your shut orbs. The high washed over you, from the crown of your head to the tips of your toes, every body part rushing with adrenaline before coming down in a state of repose. Slowly you withdrew your hand from beneath the fabric, the elastic snapping gently against your skin, fingertips glistening with your juicy release that now also coated your panties as it rubbed against the inside fabric. You slowly opened your eyes, vision blurry before focusing correctly, seeing nothing but darkness and vague outlines of objects. Night had fallen. You sighed, you were alone.A part of you wished at Changbin had been there whenever your glittering doe-eyes sprung open, your plushy lips being met with his but alas you couldn’t get everything in life.

Except that you couldn’t even get anything. At all.

“Binnie!!!” you shouted as soon as you opened your eyes as you woke up on the floor, looking around confused as your voice echoed in the room. You rubbed your eyes, the familiar automated voice and its words still stuck in your head.

“Uh? Over here y/n”

You heard his voice, the sweet tune hitting your eardrums, you looked at the direction of the sound and noticed that you were lying on the main dance floor. No music. No people. You stood up with wobbly knees, looking around and being shone on by a spotlight on the ceiling, watching Changbin drying off a couple of glasses with a kitchen towel, a brown apron sitting snugly around his waist, another piece of useless fabric that hid his well-sculpted body.

“W-why is there no one here? Are we glitching again?!” your voice panicked as your gaze was busy, landing everywhere from the meaningless neon green exit sign pointing to nowhere to the colorful transparent liquor bottles on the shelves behind your lover. Changbin let out a little snark as he put the glass down, throwing the cloth over his shoulder and leaning on the wooden bar counter.

“No y/n, sometimes many people are busy and that’s when you don’t teleport here,,, you know that already”

You let out a small “oh” in realization before walking over to the bar and throwing yourself into a chair lazily, tapping the table with your pointer finger twice, a quiet signal for help. The kind that alcohol provided. Changbin didn’t say anything, simply scooping some ice into a low glass with pretty carved out details at the bottom, the black haired boy filling up the glass with whiskey, the brown liquid seeping between the cubes of frozen water. It was oddly silent in the club, not from the fact that there wasn’t anyone else there but there was this awkward feeling between the two of you, as cold as the ice cubes that the champagne bottles were resting inside a iron bucket full of ice underneath the bar on one of the shelves.

“So uhm,,, was everything alright yesterday?” he asked in a low voice, peering at you through hooded eyelids as he tilted the glass, pouring another liquor bottle and pouring the substance in.

Memories of the night prior flashed past your eyelids causing you to almost choke on your saliva. Changbin looked at you suspiciously, furrowing his eyebrows as he put the glass on the coaster in front of you, watching you gulp down the poison. He had something on his mind, the words were basically danging off his pink lips but he hesitated, something stopped him every time he tried to open his jaw and let the words pour out in a puddle of word-vomit on the floor. The words were lodged in his throat like a boulder, he didn’t know how to say it.

“Something wrong binnie?” you asked with a confused expression, your eyes filled with concerned. What if something had happened in a universe you couldn’t even reach, the boy wandering alone with his concerns?

You took another sip from the glass, frowning as the alcohol stung your tongue and descended down your esophagus like a ball of fire, observing the contents that you were drinking partly because you were interested in what concoction your boyfriend had made but mostly cause you didn’t want to look him in the eyes in this frigid atmosphere. He shook his head, giving you a non-verbal answer.

You didn’t believe him.

By the way his jaw clenched to the awkward posture as he stared at you, he had something to confess and you weren’t sure if you were ready for it, thinking that maybe it would be easier to not ask about it anymore and live in oblivion.

“Come on~ I know you well enough to know that something isn’t quite right” you said, resting your chin in the palm of your hand, eyeing your boyfriends godly figure, practically drooling over him on the spot.

“Hmm,,, y-yeah ok,, I do have something to say but,,, I’m not sure how to” he started, your heart starting to beat faster with each syllable he pronounced, thinking that this was the end of your world because he was indeed your entire world. The reason you still smiled.

“Just say it baby, I won’t be angry” you said but not sure if you could keep your promise.

“I got a place at rehab”

You started laughing sarcastically, the boy standing perplexed behind the counter.

“Wh-what’s so funny?” he asked shortly after.

“You obviously said no, right?”

Silence erupted throughout the establishment, your smile was wiped off your face as you waited for an answer but you felt the tears start bubbling up in your glossy eyes as the silence went on, brimming and coaxing to fall down onto your warm cheek, his expression was blank, a canvas without a paint. In a rage of fit you threw your glass at the nearest wall, the glass shattering in a million pieces just like your heart, impossible to glue together.

The ice cubes melted on the floor, liquid splattered on the dark glossy floor. There was no saving the broken pieces, it was simply to throw it in the trash. You couldn’t blame Changbin for being startled, backing to the wall that displayed the bottles of alcohol, small lights above them causing the flasks to reflect tiny fractals.

“What the fuck do you mean Changbin, huh?!” you yelled at him, salty tears streaming down your cheeks, hanging off your quivering lips. He could only exhale loudly from his nose, his dusky complexion losing its color the more stressed he got.

“No, what do you mean? Are you actually serious about letting me rot in my life and not take help when I’ve finally gotten it?” he said, his tone growing louder with each word, him practically growling like a feral wolf. You couldn’t believe the word coming out of his lying mouth. Rot in his life? Why? He had you now. You were all he needed, right?

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier then?” Your voice was expressionless, a string tinted red with betrayal laced in your tone.

“I was scared.”You scoffed, feeling the frustration in the pit of your stomach like a heavy weight, tears glittering in the bright lights that were on currently, shining down on you as if another dimension had opened.

One without Changbin.

With dark eyes you looked at him, a dumbfounded smile causing the corners of your lips to turn upwards, tasting the salt of your sadness as a droplet rolled down and into your mouth. “

I never want to see you again Changbin”

“Don’t say that y/n, p-please don’t say that.”

His voice was drowsy like he hadn’t slept in days, your theory being more believable as you saw the dark bags under his blank eyes. He had been worrying, worried for your reaction. He took off the apron and put the kitchen towel on the nearest surface before hurrying to exit out through the gate and took strides towards your standing figure but you distanced yourself every time he got closer. You felt yourself getting smaller and smaller as his shadow towered over you, his face not showing compassion but rather irritation.

“GET AWAY!!” you screamed in a ear-deafening screech, him barely flinching as he had seen worse things in his life than his heartbroken girlfriend getting pressed up against a wall with dark streaks of makeup and tears staining her face, plagued by treachery that was brought upon by the only one she trusted in her life.

Maybe this was deeper than just your boyfriend leaving you. Maybe this was a silent cry to stay and not leave like your father once did. Sure, he was around in your childhood but that’s the thing; he was around, never actively invested in what happened in the life of his child. You didn’t like to look into it. Hell, you barely wanted to talk about it but you couldn’t help but to wonder if that was the reason as to why you had a difficult time with goodbyes. It replayed memories, memories you’d rather forget. Or wish you never had in the first place.

“The fuck-” said a recognazible voice that belonged to Minho, the male staggering out of the toilets in a hungover haze, scratching his hair as he yawned.

“Huh,,, how long have you been there?” Changbin said, him turning his head to look at Minho whilst standing mere inches from you, sandwiching you between his body and the dark walls.

“I have no idea,,, just woke up and heard a scream” he replied lazily, still not really registering the situation that was unfolding in front of his very own eyes. You glared at Changbin before pushing him by the shoulders, thinking you would make a big impact but him only losing his balance for a few seconds, with fierce steps you bolted to Minho, the boy sliding his hand down into his pocket the closer you got causing you to stop dead in the tracks.

You’d rather be heartbroken than deceased.

“Did you know about this? Did you know that this motherfucker was going to fucking rehab?!” you yelled hysterically towards the boy that picked up a packet of cigarettes instead of a switchblade. He smirked as he put a cigarette in the corner of his mouth, not breaking eye contact with you for a second throughout the entire process, almost hypnotizing you with his looks.

“Yeah,,, we all knew” that devilish smirk only signaling that he liked the pain he saw in other people, the white lighter in his hands flicking and emitting an orange and purple flame that slowly burned the tip of the deadly stick.

You wanted to scream on the top of your lungs, break every single one of the bottles on the shelves in a fit of rage before breaking Changbin’s heart, shatter it in pieces and step on it like glass even if it would make shards stick to your wounded and bloody feet. But that’s life. You can never hurt someone without getting hurt back.

“And so you all decided to be on his side? To defend a liar was the best your stupid fucking head could come up with?” you couldn’t even filter your words, whatever came to your mind rolled off your tongue as smoothly as the words “i love you” once had.

“Hey y/n! Don’t say that! He had nothing to do with it” Changbin roared, stepping closer with his heavy black boots that could probably smash someone against the concrete by the telephone booth where thousands of stray souls wandered every hour of the short 24 hours we humans have in a day. He put his hand on your arm but you shoved him away, freeing your hand from his grasp and yelling inaudible words at the boy.

“And that’s why you don’t date a psycho, am I right Changbin?” Minho laughed, lodging the cigarette between his pointer- and middle finger, blowing the smoke towards you as a careless gesture. Changbin looked done, rolling his eyes at the other boy before shaking his head, his hair bouncing in a fluffy manner as he moved.

“Not now Min” he answered simply, keeping his composure but you on the other hand were boiling with anger, feeling your heartbeat in your ears. You let out a half laughter filled with sarcasm.

“Somehow the real psycho has the audacity to say that to me, huh? Who the fuck do you guys think you are? You guys think it’s cool to live like this?” you said, your voice becoming frail at the end of your sentence, breaking as new tears weighed on your eyelashes and dropped down on the floor beneath you.

“No we don’t y/n and that’s why Changbin is getting help. Don’t you see it? You are hurting him by keeping him here.”

Minho’s words stung more than a thousand needles piercing through your raw flesh.

He was right.

The entire relationship rested on a foundation of suffering that you fed with repeatedly withdrawing from help that could make you blossom into the person you once were. Deep down you knew that this relationship was impossible, you knew it before you even fell for him but the thing is that you didn’t choose to fall in love, it happens. There’s a reason as to why it’s called ‘falling in love’, because once you’ve jumped you can’t expect to stand on the top of the cliff again. Only at the view from halfway down do you realize that maybe this wasn’t the right time and space.

You looked at Changbin that held his hands out, wanting to hug you and make everything feel alright, like it was before and you couldn’t help but to melt at how his eyes rounded, twinkling by the thousands of lights around the room and reflecting in his teary eyes. With the arm of your sleeve you wiped off the tears, makeup rubbing off on the fabric but you couldn’t give less of a thought before Changbin wrapped his hands around you, tears falling at a rapid pace as you sobbed into the neck of your boyfriend, breathing in his musky scent that infiltrated your bloodstream and made your heart stop for just a brief moment before pounding harder than before, powered by longing.

“I’m s-sorry Changbin” you said in between sobs, words coming out in broken syllables, it was difficult forming a sentence let alone an apology. Changbin shook his head as he put his hand on the back of your neck, descending down and rubbing your back soothingly.

“Don’t apologize y/n, you didn’t do anything wrong” His voice ran down your spine, the boy pulling away from the hug and holding you by the shoulders, looking deeply into your eyes as he spoke.

“I love you and I will never forget you”

You nodded, your face in distress with tears and snot, puffy eyes looking back at him.

“W-when are you leaving t-then?” you asked timidly to which Changbin responded by breaking eye contact.

“In two days.” You sighed, not sure if you should be sad. What kind of partner tells you that important of an announcement just two days prior? But you understood, he was just as scared as you.

Scared of the unknown. Alcohol had been a part of his life for a long time, it was his comfort and now suddenly he needed to adapt to a life without it, a life in sobriety. You weren’t the only scared one. The both of you heard Minho picking up the shards of glass with his bare hands, throwing it in the trash as he smoked, not even needing to remove the cigarette from between his lips in order to exhale the smoke, grey clouds billowing out of the corner of his mouth and filling the area with the scent of over 70 harmful substances.

In the distance you heard footsteps coming from the dark room that was pretty much the only private space in the building, Felix and Jisung walking out, their expressions changing from happy to confused upon seeing your face and Minho cleaning up.

“W-what,,,” Jisung started but Minho put his pointer finger to his lips before removing the cigarette from his lips and mouthing to the younger boys.

“He told her”

Both Jisung and Felix nodded slowly, their eyes big as saucers as they mouthed a small “oh” back before casting a glance at the two of you, two bodies melting in a touch that could be the last one.

“What will I do without you Changbin?” you said, looking down at the ground. He sighed before smiling at you.

“What you’ve always done y/n,,, fight for yourself because one day you will make it” he said, cupping your cheek in his hand and swiping his thumb across the tears on your cheek, the dampness remaining on the rough pads of his thumb.

“B-but don’t worry y/n! It’s in two days,,, maybe I’ll be back tomorrow” he said, you seeing that the boys nodded their heads in the corners of your eyes.

“Alright,,, I’ll trust you,,, I always do”

“You guys can go and I don’t know,,, talk in that other room,,, we’ll take care of stuff out here” Minho said, flicking the ashes off the end of the cigarette one last time before throwing it in the sink, the boy standing in the bar together with the the other two boys. You and Changbin nodded, making your way past them and entering the dark room that had now become a place where only memories live. With hesitance you sat down on the couch, Changbin doing the same. You glanced over at him, slowly tilting your head against his shoulder and exhaling loudly through your nose.

The momentary silence wasn’t awkward. It was comforting.

Silence was what this place needed, moments away from everything related to partying and drinking until your liver failed.

“Do you remember the first time we met?” he said with a laugh, you giggling with him.

“Of course I do, it wasn’t even that long ago but,,, it feels like forever.”

He nodded, glancing at your hand for a moment before grabbing it, his warm hand wrapping around your cold one, lacing his fingers with yours.

“I don’t want you to leave binnie,,, t-this is unfair.” Tears started bubbling up in your throat again, your breathing getting unstable as your gaze was fixed on the ground.

“I don’t want to leave either y/n but,,, what if we meet in the right dimension? What if that’s what happens? That when you,,, start loving yourself for who you are,,, maybe that’s when you meet the one that will continue to heal you?”

Changbin’s words made a lot of sense. Nobody knew what happened to the people that descended to the real world again. What adventures they were on or who they were loving at this point in time so maybe that did happen. It made you smile, your heart filled with hope, something you hadn’t felt since he said those doomed words earlier. You turned to him, his lips lingering dangerously close to yours to the point where you could feel his hot breath brushing up against the apples of your cheeks. He leaned in, attaching his lips on yours one last time, pushing a piece of hair behind your ear and holding you by the back of your neck, his thumb caressing the knuckles of your hand. You kissed him back, slipping your tongue into his mouth in a deep exchange of saliva intertwined with yearning. The kiss formed an even pace, you tilted your head to the side causing the kiss to get intense, his wet tongue gliding against yours, your pout swelling as he bit your bottom lip, blood rushing into it. He could almost feel yours eyelashes fluttering against the bridge of his nose. He pulled away, landing a final peck on your soft lips before nibbling the inside of his cheek in nervosity, unsure as to why he was nervous in the first place. Maybe the thought that he would never kiss you again. You put your hands around him, rubbing your dark tinted cheeks against his shirt that was luckily in a darker color as well. He smelled like home, like comfort.

A murky scent mixed with tobacco and ephemerality.

You haven't seen Changbin since that day.

“How have you been y/n?” said the woman sitting opposite you, tapping her pen against the A5 block of secrets that rested against a folder that has your name on the side, filled with results of various psychological tests. You shrugged your shoulders, looking out the window where the ivys growed over the glass.

“I’ve been alright,,, although I miss someone” you answered, your eyes meeting the curious ones of your psychologist that observed your body language, your foot shaking in the air as your legs were folded on top of each other.

“Who do you miss y/n?” she asked. You thought about telling her the truth but then had you ever done that in this office?

“Doesn’t matter,,, Just someone” you answered shortly to which the lady nodded.

“Longing is a very difficult feeling, sometimes there’s nothing you can do about it since the only thing that will cure it is seeing that person again but of course, that’s not always possible” she said, you observing the marbled pattern on the vinyl floor. You agreed, not knowing what else to do before she started talking about something else that was connected to your well-being, wondering how you are coping with still being on the hunt for a job and having your mental health to care about in the meanwhile.

The session ended as it always does. By you walking out of the office with an orange post-it note where the next appointment was scheduled in messy writing and with a warm goodbye to your psychologist that was a nice person. It was just that you didn’t really care for her advice and you yet again felt horrible for not taking the help you got when other people in the world couldn’t afford the same experience. The wind hit you in the face as you exited out to reality, out from the solace of the office and the building that held countless of skin-crawling memories. You pulled your jacket closer to your body, walking with quick strides towards the convenience store in order to buy gum and something sweet that could stop the world from leaving a bitter taste in your mouth at all times. A bell above the door tinkled as you stepped into the store, the grey welcome mat being a soft surface to step on with your sneakers. You casted a glance at the staff, seeing the gum you always bought by the cash register and the back of a young man in a black jacket with a baseball cap, looking upwards at the cigarettes and talking to the cashier in a husky voice. You walked past aisles of various snacks and other necessities, hearing the man talking in a voice that made your head spin, sending you into a deja vu feeling.This voice, this very voice was familiar.

“That one,, yeah,,, thanks! Oh,, just gonna grab something real quick” he said, his footsteps getting closer to you that were hunched over, looking for the banana milk on the lower shelves and squinting your eyes as tried to look further back to see if you missed a bottle by mistake. Your eyes lit up as you saw it, stretching out your hand but in that moment you didn’t feel the cool plastic layer of the yellow manufactured drink but instead a slightly warm hand that was bigger than yours, clad in a couple of silver rings. You quickly apologized and peered upwards, your eyes landing on a couple of dark hooded eyes that made your heart start to race. The lips were plump, a bit dusky in color from the cold weather. A sharp jaw that led to a prominent chin. A triangular nose that connected to a pair of strong bushy eyebrows. A face you had so longed to see. A hand you hadn’t held in what felt like an eternity. There the two of you were, holding the same bottle of banana milk in the flickering light of the store, the coldness emitting from the refrigerated shelves.

It was him.

It was Changbin.

He was right.

Only when one decided to heal was it destined for you to meet in a dimensions that was real. A dimension that didn’t consist of an odd phone number and a crimson telephone booth. A world away from the loud music and booze and instead entering a world that had earlier been dark but now got lighter, your tunnelvision ending and objects getting their color back. The world seemed real again. Alive like the way scent of a rose made its way down your lungs and into your blood, feeding the feeling of love from within.

You met him.

In a different place, in a different time. But you met the same person.

The person you were destined to meet.

Taglist ; @minholuvs @liz820 @skztrashbag @lix-freckle3

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thedeviljudges · 3 years

Note

Just to add to the ending discourse (sorry!!!), I thought the 'do it well or...' line was Yohan's inner dialogue like in an earlier ep where we hear them both think to themselves 'ah so this is what gets to you' (paraphrasing!), and also to show how in sync they are in that they can have this almost psychic conversation. In that case, it's plausible to suggest Yohan didn’t even intend for Gaon to know he’d been there at all (in this scenario he’s waiting up high just for one last glimpse) (1/5)

..but even if you don’t buy that, it’s pretty obvious he definitely didn’t plan on being chased down for an intense staring contest. Which means he returned to Korea, risking breaking his cover, with no expectations for himself other than the chance to see Gaon again. So if he’s that desperate after only one month, it’s actually illogical to believe they WOULDN'T see each other again! And to frame it in terms of romance, you’ve got the classic trope of Yohan as the one who’s in love (2/5)

...but believes it to be unrequited, happy just to glimpse his love from afar before leaving, and then Gaon, by his actions (running after him) and expressions (heart eyes!), confesses his own feelings and proves him wrong. And if they look sad/vulnerable it’s because this is the first time they are truly seeing each other, without any secrets or confusion between them, and there’s still a lot of pain there because that doesn’t just disappear, but openness is the first step to healing... (3/5)

...which is why they end up smiling. And you’re right, I’ve seen ppl screencap Gaon’s sad face after Yohan walks off as if it was the final frame and thus proof that he’s alone and depressed and it's a bad ending, but he DOES start smiling again, right at the very end, and that makes all the difference. On a totally different note, despite the peak romance of it all I don’t think I’ll ever be able to watch it now without laughing cos I have this vision of Yohan... (4/5)

babe!!! i didn't get ask 5. 😭😭

but ohhhh that’s a very good take on the “do it well” part actually!!!!!!! no lie, when we had that scene with their inner dialogue, it was confusing for a second. it took me a moment to realize it was their thoughts when watching a few weeks ago, lmao. but that totally makes sense actually!!! see, i’m not partial to it being one way other another, but i think i like this option, too.

i do disagree about yohan’s intention of being noticed by gaon. i personally think he wanted gaon to know. otherwise, he wouldn’t have purposefully put his hand on gaon’s chair. if he was trying to be stealthy, that’s not the way to do it. i think what he did was test instead; yohan loves the hunt. he wasn’t sure gaon would actually come find him or not, and when gaon shouts for yohan, it starts his realization that gaon actually wants him in his life. yohan took the risk of rubbing salt into his wound just to see how gaon felt, which is why he nods and gets emotional at first because he thinks gaon is upset with him. but then gaon smiles, and yohan realizes that what he thought was wrong. which is where that desperation comes into play. he wanted gaon to chase him and to see if he’d still walk away knowing gaon would always be there instead of walking away with finality and realizing gaon never wanted to see him again. so def still illogical that they won’t see each other again. they absolutely will, and it won’t take long at all. cuz yeah, yohan came back after a month, lmao. man has no sense of self-preservation, and he's in love, so.

i do agree with the romance trope as well. it’s totally yohan being in love and at first thinking gaon doesn’t reciprocate it, but he’s wrong, of course. it’s definitely a moment to give them time away from each other for a bit. a month isn’t very long to be on your own and heal, and i think both need that for themselves. plus as pointed out in other posts, there is no way they’re not calling and facetiming. i made a note on another post how elijah specifically talked to someone in texas, from across the world, and you’re telling me she’s not going to be calling gaon every day? yohan’s not going to sneak in secret FaceTime moments with gaon? please.

i’ve seen a few tweets, specifically, with people sad about the ending because they parted ways and i’m like ???????????? do yall not have eyes???? what are you TALKING about. now that yohan knows gaon loves him, mans is not staying away, lmao. we know how dedicated yohan is to family. in what world would yohan abandon gaon? literally never.

#x #the devil judge #answered #anonymous

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meltwonu · 4 years

Text

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 | [CHAPTER 5]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, use of toys(sybian), squirting, the long awaited chapter 5 😳💕 do they finally meet?!?!?!?! hehehehehehe also sorry for not being able to post this yesterday, had a busy week and when I tell ya I woke up at 3pm today 😗 💕💕💕💕 as always, thank you so much for your continued interest!! I'm already writing ch 6 and im SOOOO EXCITEDDDD hHEHEHEHEEHEH 💕💕💕💕💕 HAVE A GREAT REST OF YOUR WEEKENDS! 🍒

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - ?

“You guys! I--you have to see this!”

You can’t wipe the smile off of your face when you shimmy to the side, excitedly showing off the new gift that Seungcheol had sent in the mail.

sleepy_wonu: holy hell

universe_WZ: that mustve costed hella

alphagyu97: nothin like feelin extra poor amirite lads

angelhan: it was only a matter of time before dom.cheol was untouchable lol

You giggle slightly as you adjust the camera so that you and your new sybian are in frame. “Hey~ Don’t say that!! Y’know it’s not the amount of money you spend on me… I’m glad you guys are always here with me~” The sound of coins clinking goes off in the back as you read a few more comments.

dom.cheol: well princess, don’t u wanna show them how you use your new toy? ;)

tangerine_kwan: fuck i bet it can get u to cum so fuckin fast

hoshi_tiger_xx: yessss

dom.cheol has donated $100

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $50

“Hmm~ How many times do you think I can cum with this? Oh! Why don’t we do this~” You pause, sliding your wet panties down your legs before tossing the material to the side. You grin, swinging a leg over the toy until you’re straddling it. “Rapid fire question! Whoever guesses the right amount of orgasms I can take before I call quits… Wins a special unreleased photoset of me! Go!”

dom.cheol: 5

universe_WZ: 4

sleepy_wonu: 6

angelhan: 3 artist8hao: 5

alphagyu97: everyone took all the good numbers already!!! 7!!!!!

gentleman_josh95: DMAN IT 3

tangerine_kwan: 8, fuck

kitty_junjun: ugh i was gonna say 4!!!!

xcaliburDK: i was gonna say 5!!!!

therealchan99: 2? thats so low tho….

chwenon: as if anyone is gonna say 1, lmao. Uh 6…. If sleepy_wonu happens to disappear

hoshi_tiger_xx: im gonna say 10, but… seems… risky

Reaching for the remote, you situate yourself until the raised part of the toy sits directly on your clit. A shiver runs up your spine at the feeling; already excited for what’s in store. “Um, to be fair I haven’t tried it myself yet so I’m not sure either... Hehe, but I guess we’ll find out together, huh?”

Gulping, you set the sybian to its lowest setting, the air getting knocked out of your lungs immediately as your body lurches forward. “H--holy shit!” The vibrations are already harsh on the lowest setting; your fingers gripping the remote tightly as you try to adjust to the feeling. “O--oh my g-god, I--”

dom.cheol: aww can ur cute lil clit take it?

xcaliburDK: maybe one of the lower numbers was right lol…

The moans spill freely from your lips, garbled noises getting lost in the mix when you start to grind against the vibration. “Fuck, it--it feels suh--so good, hah, already feel like ‘m gonna cum…” You whine, already getting lost in the pleasure. For a second, you’re tempted to raise the vibration intensity but you hold back, letting your wetness coat the toy as you continue to grind down onto it. The sound of donations and comments sound fuzzy to your ears; only the sound of the sybian buzzing reminding you that the camera was still even on.

“Ngh, g-god, I’m--I’m gonna cum!”

tangerine_kwan has donated $75

xcaliburDK has donated $50

dom.cheol has donated $200

dom.cheol: cmon, lets see that pretty pussy cum

Your legs shake as you cum, only a squeak coming out of your mouth as you lurch forward atop the toy. The grip you have on the remote loosens while simultaneously trying to turn it off in the midst of your orgasm.

dom.cheol: awww cumming so hard on the first setting? Cute

therealchan99: lol baby is in trouble now

angelhan: maybe 3 was right lmao

“I--a-ah, fu--fuck!” You cry, shaky fingers finally managing to shut the toy off. Your body immediately untenses; chest heaving with how sensitive you already were and it had only been your first orgasm and the lowest setting of the toy. “O-oh my g-god, I--I didn’t know i-it was that s-strong…” You mumble, body buzzing with the remnants of your orgasm.

sleepy_wonu: well mr dom.cheol did pay top dollar

gentleman_josh95: imagine if u had this for yesterdays show lol

“Oh god, if--if I had this for yesterday’s show, I would’ve been too boneless to do today’s show!” You laugh airily, slowly grinding against the toy already. “It feels really nice though… I’m already super curious about how strong the other settings are…” Trailing off, you reach for the remote again, throat dry as you fiddle with the knob.

kitty_junjun: what if u set it to the max setting

chwenon: idk if her cute lil body could take it

dom.cheol: its okay baby, take ur time. I wanna see how sensitive that pussy of yours can get

“But ‘m already so sensitive~ I dunno how much more I can take~” You tease, biting your lip when all the comments flooding the chat are words of encouragement.

You knew when you started camming that it’d be no easy job. Building up your fanbase and subscriber count had taken you months upon months to even get within the thousands and camming was physically exhausting. Some days your viewer counts were low and some days they were above average and sometimes you didn’t make as much in one show than another.

tangerine_kwan: was therealchan99 right with 2 then? Heh

therealchan99: finally FINALLY ITS MY TIME TO SHINE

Giggling, you slowly start turning the knob; body twitching when the vibrations kick in at full force.

Seungcheol watches in amazement at the way your body jerks atop the machine.

He can see the way your legs twitch unbearably when you cum for the third time; your brows furrowed at the intensity of the vibrations and your taut body when you can barely manage to turn the machine off.

Licking his lips, he slowly thrusts up into his closed palm, spreading the precum down his shaft as he watches you catch your breath.

“I--ngh, fuh--fuck, I---I don’t--don’t know if I--I can cum a-again…”

Seungcheol moans at your breathy whimpers; the arousal in his body pooling up quickly when he sees the fucked out expression in your eyes. His eyes flit to the wetness that coats the silicone portion of the toy, smirking when he realizes how much you really seemed to enjoy the gift he’d gotten you.

Mentally patting himself on the back, he praises himself for making the right decision.

angelhan: please tlel me im the winner im begging

universe_WZ: NO

dom.cheol: is the princess tired already? ;)

You catch your breath, not wanting to give up despite how fuzzy your head was getting and how much your body was buzzing. “I dunno… We still haven’t tried the last setting, you guys… And I’m just so curious...” You whisper, hazy eyes staring into the camera.

hoshi_tiger_xx: god u look so pretty like this, all fucked out

artis8hao: right? fuck, id kill to be that guy who can get u off like this

xcaliburDK: goddamn same

The sound of coins clinking mixes with the ringing in your ears; fingertips already on the knob of the remote.

You take a deep breath, letting the adrenaline kick in as you quickly set the knob to the highest setting, a high pitched cry spilling from your lips when you let go of the remote in favor of holding onto the machine instead. Grinding down onto it, you meet the toy's harsh vibrations as it quickly forces another orgasm out of you in the matter of seconds.

Choked cries spill from your lips as your entire body tenses up; body twitching uncontrollably as you cum for the fourth time. You lean back with whatever energy you have left, bracing yourself on the back of the toy as you relieve your swollen clit of the buzzing machine. Your orgasm refuses to stop and you can already tell how obscenely wet everything’s gotten when your head starts to clear.

alphagyu97: fuck you squirted all over the toy baby

universe_WZ: fuck fucki fuck

universe_WZ: wait did i winf kjfhdsjk

You shakily slide off of the machine, resting on your side as the machine still buzzes with life next to you. Your entire body won’t stop shaking, head muddled as you fight the urge to shut your eyes and sleep for the next 5 days. “I’m--I--” You whimper, still feeling the phantom vibrations between your legs.

“I--ho--holy fuck, I, w-wow, I--I don’t--that--I’m, I’m just… wow.”

dom.cheol has donated $400

dom.cheol: knew you’d like it ;)

universe_WZ: THAT MEANS I WON

universe_WZ has donated $150

angelhan has donated $150

therealchan99: well, at least some of us got close

hoshi_tiger_xx: fuckin speak for urself man i said /10/

You end the show after letting ‘universe_WZ’ know you’ll contact him soon, shutting your eyes as you lay on your soiled sheets.

You can still feel your fingertips twitching when your eyes slide shut, chest heaving in deep breaths as you try to relax yourself, momentarily cursing yourself for pushing your body too far for tonight’s show.

Groaning, you reach for your phone, the screen lighting up with a text from Seungcheol, a simple ‘don’t forget to drink water ;)’ in your notifications and you can’t help but pout.

Seungcheol was nice, almost too nice. Definitely not in a murderer kinda way though, you think.

He bought you expensive gifts and never asked for anything in return which made you feel bad sometimes. And while the donations and tips you’d made through your camshows was enough to get by with, Seungcheol’s generous donations helped you always make your rent and bills on time without worrying if you’d have enough or not.

You quickly text him back with a smile on your face; hoping that he’ll like what you had to offer.

Seungcheol feels the exact same way he did when you first contacted him offering him a free show, except maybe ten times worse. At first, he’d been a little sad that he hadn’t won your quick little game but this made up for it 20-fold.

The six simple words read ‘want to meet up next friday?’, a small heart emoji next to the question and he’d almost thrown his phone when he read it, hands shakily responding with a simple ‘I’d love to.’ to make it seem like he was calm when he was most definitely not.

His immediate next order of business after replying was to text Namjoon despite how late into the night it already was, begging for the day off and offering to take any shifts or pay cuts in exchange for it.

All he needed was one day and he swore he’d never miss a day of work ever again.

Namjoon responds with a quick ‘sure, why not’, momentarily confusing him as to why his boss was awake while simultaneously sending Seungcheol into complete panic when he realizes he finally gets to meet you.

The week goes by extremely quickly to Seungcheol; his mood on a completely different level when he offers to pick up Yoongi’s Sunday shift without a complaint. He cleans up all the messes around the roller rink and even offers to do jobs that aren’t his which have Jeongguk raising a brow at the older male.

In the days that lead up to your meeting, Seungcheol looks up a few cafes that you might be interested in and even goes to get an STD exam, not that he’s expecting anything. Safety first, he says.

Your Wednesday show comes and goes, Seungcheol too excited to even get off when he watches you and he even donates an extra $600 at the end of the show; travel spending money, he offers.

And Thursday comes without a hitch and he all but skips to the employee backroom once his shift is over, humming a tune while he changes out of his uniform.

“Hey hyung, no offense, but are you okay?” Jeongguk rests against the locker next to Seungcheol’s open one, brow raised at the blue haired male that beams back at him. “I’m scared, why are you so… giddy. You even offered to take Yoongi-hyung’s weekend shift? What the hell was that about? I’ve never seen him that giddy either. Man, this place is getting weird, maybe I should quit...”

Seungcheol can’t help but laugh, patting Jeongguk on the shoulder before shutting his locker.

“I have an important meeting tomorrow, that’s all. And don’t quit, ‘cause who else is gonna give me free food.”

While the excitement had him since Saturday, now that it was finally Friday, he was downright nervous.

The two of you had agreed to meet at 2PM in front of the cafe that Seungcheol had picked out and you’d gotten a hotel in town to make it easier on yourself instead of trying to get back to your place too late. Seungcheol had offered to come pick you up, but you had politely declined; instead opting to meet him first before letting him do anything else for you.

And by nature, Seungcheol gets to the cafe 15 minutes early, fidgeting and continuously running his fingers through his hair as he patiently waits. He can feel his palms getting sweaty when he rubs them against his jeans, mentally trying to keep calm and his head floods with all sorts of thoughts; mainly, how he even got into this position with you in the first place. And he gets so distracted that he doesn’t realize you’d be standing watching him zone out for the last 5 minutes.

“Wow, not sure what’s got you so focused but you’re standing so still!”

Seungcheol hears your cute airy laugh that follows, a cherry blush on his cheeks when his eyes meet your smiling face. “I--oh my god…” He whispers, taking in your appearance.

He feels his face buzzing, fingers twitching when he sees you in a cute simple sundress. “W-wow, you--you’re just… so beautiful. I mean, you’re beautiful on cam too but just, wow, in person? Incredible.” The blush reaches his ears when he realizes he’s rambling, a nervous laugh spilling out of his lips.

“S--sorry, I, uh, usually I’m more chill than this but y’know…” He trails off, to which you nod. You step closer to Seungcheol and he gets a hint of your sweet smelling perfume, mentally groaning when your cute eyes peer up into his.

“That’s okay! I totally understand~ I’m kinda nervous myself too, to be honest…” You pause, a pink blush coating your own cheeks. “But let’s talk over some food, huh?”

Seungcheol doesn’t want to pry, but he’s not sure if he should address you as ‘Cherry’ in person, or if he should avoid calling you by anything at all.

He watches as you go through the cafe’s menu, biting the inside of his cheek as he itches to ask.

“‘Cheol… I can feel you staring, y’know.. Penny for your thoughts?” You ask, concerned eyes meeting his nervous ones.

“I just-- Sorry, I didn’t mean to be awkward, I just was wondering how I should address you in person? I don’t want to overstep my bounds, I know you don’t put your real name out there so…”

You place your menu down, closing it before leaning on your palms atop the small table. Seungcheol is cute, too cute, you think. You knew this would be a question when the two of you eventually met and you had given yourself the time to get used to the idea that he’d know your real name.

He eyes hyperfocus on your glossy lips, watching as you say your name for him for the first time.

Seungcheol’s heart threatens to beat out of his chest when he hears it; repeating it over and over in his head before he says it out loud.

“Wow, it sounds nice when it’s you saying it~” You tease, leaning back in your chair. “I don’t mind if you call me by my name, by the way! The pet names are cute but maybe we should keep that to the bedroom~” You end in a whisper, winking at the male.

Fuck, he thinks, just as his cock throbs at your comment. He really wishes you wouldn’t say things like that because he’s weak and he knows it, especially when it comes to you. “Okay, cool! Yeah, sorry, I just---I didn’t want to overstep, I know you don’t really let that be public information.”

“Of course! And thank you, I really can’t tell you how much you’ve done for me. I really… really wouldn’t be able to do all the things that I do if it weren’t for your constant support.”

You want to say more, but the waiter comes to take your orders, cutting you off until he leaves again.

“By the way…” Seungcheol looks at you with curious eyes, lips puckered around his drink straw. “Tell me about yourself, ‘Cheollie! I feel like we didn’t really get to talk that one time!”

He swallows the water in his mouth, licking his dry lips. Here goes nothing, he thinks.

“I swear, and please don’t think I’m a loser, but I--I work at a roller rink. It’s really not cool, I’m not some high paid CEO or whatever, I--I just, I work hard?” Seungcheol chuckles, running a hand through his hair as he waits for your reply.

“Wait, that’s so cool! Oh my gosh, I kinda wanna go!”

The surprise washes over Seungcheol, eyes wide as saucers when he hears you saying you’d want to visit his workplace. “Wuh---wait, seriously!?”

“Yeah! It’s kinda, like, retro! I haven’t been to one since I was a kid!” He quickly offers to bring you to the roller rink on Sunday so you could have somewhere to hang out while you were in town.

“And sadly, I took a shift on Sunday so you can hang with me while I work.”

Seungcheol grins, watching as you jokingly roll your eyes at him. “So you did it on purpose, huh…” The two of you share a laugh, glad that your first meeting seemed to be going okay so far.

“Well, I mean, if it makes you feel any better, my best friend works the concession stand so I’ll make sure to get you a free pair of skates and food whenever you want?”

“It’s a deal!”

The two of you continue to talk over your late lunch, Seungcheol telling you of the various work hijinks he’d gone through at his time working at the roller rink.

“Which, by the way, that morning show you did… Hope you know I holed up in the restroom for an entire hour for that ‘lil stunt.”

You can’t help the tears that fall from your eyes when you laugh, only feeling slightly bad for the blue haired male. “But I told you! Sometimes it’s just like that, y’know~” You tease back, heart blooming at the way you and Seungcheol got along.

In all honesty, there’d been something on your mind since you first sat down and you didn’t know when the right time to ask was, or if it was even appropriate.

The smile slips from your face as you bite the inside of your cheek in thought.

Seungcheol takes the bill from the waiter, slipping his card into the holder before you can even offer. But he notices the way your expression falls, noting the hesitance in your eyes when he looks at you from across the table.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” His voice is gentle, soft and caring when he leans over the table to make sure you’re alright.

“Yeah! Just---Can I ask you for a favor?”

#cherrybomb!cheol #seungcheol smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #scoups smut #scoups scenarios #scoups imagines #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol scenarios #svt scenarios #svt imagines #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #scoups #seungcheol

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moving-accounts-uwu · 4 years

Text

Right Where You Were Meant To Be (Bucky x Plus-size!Reader)

Fandom: Marvel

Characters: Bucky x Plus-size!reader

Warnings: Fluff, hurt/comfort, body-shaming

Story type: One-shot

Word count: 2.7k words

Summary: Reader has a crush on Bucky the second she looked at him but she also has feelings of self-consciousness about her body and doubts she’d ever end up with Bucky or any guy like Bucky. That all changes one night at one of Tony’s parties.

(A/N: This is a cute little one-shot idea I had and just wanted to write out. I feel there aren’t many plus-size!reader stories so I wanted to make my own. I’m a chubby girl and felt like I needed some love, lmao. Any mistakes I take responsibility for, this story wasn’t beta read, so I apologize for any mistakes. I hope you enjoy nonetheless!!! Also, the gif isn’t mine, but he just looks so precious <3)

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It all started when you looked at him for the first time. He had just moved into the Tower, and you had just gotten the job as Tony's new assistant since Pepper had become CEO of Stark Industries. Because you worked in an environment with superheroes who were very fit and healthy, you had become self-conscious of yourself; whether it would be what you wore, the things you ate, or just how your body looked in general.

Being a bigger girl, it often took a toll on your mental health when you would notice the glances, the whispering, the judgmental stares, and how shopping for clothes in your size was difficult, and it made you feel like you had to lose weight to fit in and belong. You felt alone and isolated.

You didn't have any friends; you didn't even talk to many of your co-workers, and just kept to yourself a majority of the time. When Bucky moved in, you noticed he did the same. He didn't speak much to the rest of the team, he mostly stayed in his room, and only hung around Steve. Bucky was very fit, and his muscular body showed it whenever he wore tight-fitted clothing. You would never wear tight-fitted clothing for fear of having your plumpness accentuated.

After five months working for Tony and having a more friendly relationship with the rest of the team, you had built a few close bonds with some of the heroes. Wanda and Natasha were your closest girlfriends and would regularly have 'Lady's Nights' every Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Tony, Clint, Sam, and Steve were like your older brothers and would look out for you.

You and Steve made it a routine to do small exercise and yoga in the afternoons just after 4 o'clock. How this all started was because you wanted to accomplish small goals for yourself, as Sam told you to do to help with your mental health.

"Steve," You called out as you stepped into the Tower's gym, the one place you knew where to find Steve if he wasn't in the common room.

"Oh, hey (Y/N)! What's up?" Steve turned to face you as he held the punching bag still while he watched you walk closer to him, noticing you fidgeting with your fingers nervously.

"I just... I wanted to start doing light exercises, you know, to boost my endorphins, and so I have something to do in the afternoons when I've finished with work." It wasn't a complete lie, but it just sugar-coated the fact that you just wanted to lose weight to gain confidence in yourself.

Steve had agreed to help you; he wouldn't push you too much either because he didn't want you to strain anything and not push you out of your comfort zone too much. Both of you would exercise for an hour each day in the afternoons. This routine had been going on for six weeks, and you were enjoying it. You felt better about yourself each week when you would check your progress and write down how much you lost during the week; you were more confident than you were all those weeks ago before asking Steve for help.

During one of those afternoon exercises, you and Steve were both in the Adho Mukha pose with Steve wearing his usual tight t-shirt that you swore was a size too small, and shorts while you wore a loose, black tank top, and tight-fitted leggings that complemented the shape of your plump ass. You were so in the zone that you hadn't heard the gym doors open and the sound of footsteps coming closer to you. Bucky stood behind you and Steve, him getting an eyeful of your butt while he cleared his throat to catch his best friend's attention.

"Hey, Bucky! I didn't notice you were there. (Y/N) and I were doing some yoga, would you like to join us?"

You. Were. Mortified. You quickly stood up beside Steve and looked down at your feet, trying to avoid looking at Bucky after having your ass practically in his face.

"Uh, I kinda have to get ready for 'Girl's Night' tonight, but I think Bucky can keep you company." You nervously spoke, having your words jumble out quickly due to your inner-embarrassment. "I'll see you later, Steve!"

You bolted out of the gym as fast as your legs could go and made it up into your room without another incident. When you flopped onto your bed, you let out a loud, exhausted sigh before closing your eyes shut tightly. 'Why did I have to act like a nervous wreck? You didn't even let him talk for Christ's sake!' After beating yourself up over the little incident, you started to get ready for 'Girl's Night' with Nat and Wanda.

It was two hours into 'Girl's Night' and you, Nat and Wanda had, at least, drank four glasses of Kraken Rum and about three shots of Vodka. You were more relaxed and carefree, enjoying your time with your best friends while gossiping about an episode of Criminal Minds you all saw the other day together.

"Not gonna lie, I would love to have a man like Morgan. Have you seen his muscles? And how he kicks down doors like a badass?" You gushed.

"That is true, and I fully believe Morgan and Garcia should be together. They have chemistry and look so cute!" Wanda loved her Morgan and Garcia ship.

"Eh, I like to have a super cute genius but that's just my opinion" Nat took a sip of her fruity vodka drink while shrugging her shoulders.

"Of course you would, you're with Bruce and that's a little bias, Nat." You gently shoved your red-haired friend playfully.

You and Wanda giggled like school girls when Natasha scoffed before she pointed an accusing finger at you.

"Well, says you, (Y/N)! You practically drool whenever you see Barnes."

That shut you up quickly. 'How does she know?! Play it off'

"That's very funny Nat, but I don't know what you mean."

"Don't bullshit me, (Y/N). I've seen the way your cheeks get all pink and how your eyes are glued to him whenever he walks by. You're so smitten it's grossly cute." Then Wanda turned to you with a small smirk on her face.

"Maybe you should ask him to work out with you and Steve!"

Flashbacks of your embarrassment earlier that day made your face go pale. 'Absolutely not'. You shook your head furiously, staring at your two friends with fear. There was no way you'd have the guts to do such a thing, not after how you acted around him before. Plus, you didn't want him to look at you with disgust when he looks at you working out. You shake off all the negative thoughts before finishing off your last bits of rum.

"I think I'm going to head off to bed now, gotta wake up early tomorrow. Tony wants me to help him organize and plan a gala party to celebrate his newest project. And when I say to 'help him' I mean I'll be doing most of the work while he hides away in his lab with Bruce." You said before walking off and waving the girls goodbye.

2 weeks later...

You had most of the gala planned out. You had booked a cute catering company to organize some food dishes for everyone and even hired a group of people to decorate one of the large common rooms that would fit all the guests on Tony's guest-list. You had even bought a cute new dress to wear for the party. The party was starting that night at 7:30 and you would hopefully get everything done while having an hour and a half to spare to get ready.

When the decorating and planning finished, you quickly made your way to your room and got showered and changed. You stood in front of your mirror for quite some time, nitpicking every flaw you could see, judging your appearance because you knew how the other women at the party were going to look flawless and have every man swooping in for them. A sudden knock on your door snapped you out of your negative thoughts.

"(Y/n), you ready?" Wanda's voice called from the other side.

"Y-yeah! I'm coming now." You dashed for the door to get away from the mirror so you can't put yourself down even more. Once opening the door, Wanda linked your arm with hers, and both of you walked toward the elevator.

Telling FRIDAY which floor, you both arrived just as a few of the guests were mingling around; drinking, eating, and chatting. You glanced around, hoping to see the familiar faces of your friends, spotting Sam, Nat, and Clint near the bar where Natasha was serving the drinks. Tony was standing next to Pepper and being an absolute flirt as always while Steve and Bucky were standing near a corner with drinks in hand. Before you could make your way over to the bar, Wanda told you to wait where you were while she goes to quickly touch up her make-up, disappearing before you could say a word. You stood there awkwardly and looked around, making sure everything was going swimmingly until you felt a presence behind you. A tap on your confirmed that someone was indeed behind you.

You turned around to see a group of two slender women and three muscular men staring at you with smug and cocky smiles on their faces.

"Can we get some more drinks? And make them with a little more alcohol this time." One of the men quirked an eyebrow, waiting for you to scurry off to grab their drinks.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not part of catering. I'm-"

"You certainly look it though, I mean, you're not dressed like you're here as a guest. The dress you're wearing looks like the other catering staff." A woman spat, her eyes narrowed at you. You started to feel self-conscious about your outfit now, realizing the color-scheme looked very similar to the catering staff.

"Plus, the dress isn't that flattering for your body hun. We can practically see your muffin top and panty lines with how tight that dress is on you." The other woman commented while she leaned to the side to glance at more of your plush figure.

A stinging sensation began to appear behind your eyes, feelings of doubt, and an anxiety attack began to make themselves known. So looked away from the group and quickly made for the elevator, shooting Wanda a quick text saying you weren't feeling too well. 'How stupid of me to think I even looked good or that I could fit in at the party.' By the time the elevator doors reached your floor and the doors opened, hot tears were falling down your cheeks as you tried to furiously wipe them away with zero results. The tears kept flowing down as you began to walk down the hallway to your room; quiet footsteps barely making noise as they followed you. Just as your hand settled on the door handle, a warm hand clasped onto your shoulder gently. With a yelp, you spun around with a jump to look at your "attacker", only to find a pair of stormy blue eyes staring at your teary eyes intensely.

Bucky's eyes held hints of concern and worry, but it was hard to see because he was good at hiding his emotions, and the fact that your eyes were blurry from crying.

"You okay, (Y/n)? I saw you leave the party quickly and noticed how fast your breathing was." Bucky had to look down at you because he was so tall, or was it because you were just very short?

"I'm fine, Bucky. I just don't do well in crowded places or with so many strangers. I got a bit overwhelmed but it's fine now." You weakly smiled but he could see right through it, he always did.

"You had a panic attack after speaking to a group of people, and judging by the looks they gave you while talking to them, I can only believe it wasn't a pleasant conversation." Bucky then brought both his flesh and metal hands to cup your face while he peered into your eyes more. "Tell me what happened, doll."

You sighed, you knew he wasn't going to let this go. Even though you both barely spoke to each other, he still cared for you like the both of you knew each other for years. Something about his calm voice and caring nature helped your nerves settle.

"They thought I was part of catering and asked if I could get them more drinks. I told them I wasn't catering, only for them to make snarky comments about my outfit and body. But it's fine, I'm used to having those comments made to me, I've dealt with those types of people all my life." Your hands gently held his and tried to move them away from your face but Bucky didn't budge.

"You don't believe them, right? I mean, I think the dress looks good on you. It shows off your curves and any man who doesn't get blown away is blind."

You gave a humorless laugh and shook your head at Bucky, looking down at the floor.

"You're just saying that to be nice to me, Buck. We both know girls like me don't belong in a place like this, or a party like that. You can go back to the party, I don't want to waste more of your time." You went to turn away when Bucky held your upper arms tightly.

"Not a chance, doll. I'm not a fan of crowds myself and was about to leave the party myself until I saw you run away. I'd rather spend my time with you and making sure you don't ever think that you don't belong."

You both stared at each other for a few seconds, his stare was intense with adoration and love while you stared at him in shock that he'd want to spend time with you. Before you could blink, Bucky leaned down and you felt his soft lips on yours, his arms wrapping around you and caging you into a warm and gentle embrace. Your hands rested onto his firm chest while his hands rested on your lower back, just above your butt. At first, you were in shock but then you gave in to the kiss and snaked your arms around his neck, your fingers embedded into his long hair.

The kiss was full of passion, and so much love that you didn't think it was possible. When the need for air was too much, you both separated and looked into each other's eyes once again.

"H-how? Why me? We barely know each other!"

"Because, (Y/n), I've been smitten for you since I first laid eyes on you but didn't have the guts to tell you. Steve's been a punk and trying to get me to join your work out sessions for weeks but I was too nervous to do it." Bucky's cheeks tinted red as he chuckled.

"And why's that? I was scared that if saw me working out, that you'd be grossed out by my body." You explained, chewing on your bottom lip.

"I could never be grossed out, sweetheart. I love a woman with curves and plumpness to her. I was nervous that if I watched you work out, I would try to make a move on you too fast and scare you away. I didn't want that to happen." Bucky grabbed your chin and leaned in again, his lips almost touching yours. "And you looked downright sexy in those tights, they shape your ass well."

You gasped and lightly smacked his shoulder while he smirked at you. His playfulness coming through. You made the first move this time and got onto your tippy toes to kiss him. This is was quicker than the first but still held the same emotions. With so much strength you underestimated he had, Bucky lifted you up, your legs wrapped around his waist as he opened your door and carried you over to your bedroom. Both of you watched a bunch of movies in your room; many kisses were shared before you both passed out, cuddled up under your fluffy blankets, safe in Bucky's arms. Right where you were meant to be all along.

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Thanks for reading!!! <3 <3 <3

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xenteaart · 4 years

Text

Design Flaw

Summary: “Today wasn't a good day. Your body was betraying you and you couldn't feel more useless and weak, especially knowing how annoyed the Master would always get at the inconvenience that human biology tended to cause.”

Pairing: Dhawan!Master x Reader

TW: Descriptions of pain ??? but nothing graphic, it’s basically pure fluff

GIF: @moon-in-daylight (i think?? correct me if i’m wrong)

Note: Okay so this is my first ever fic and it’s pretty personal as well because i’ve been struggling with health and feeling powerless for a while now and I can’t really find any fics regarding that so I decided to write one myself lmao. Also English isn’t my first language so be gentle ( but also feel free to give any feedback coz I wanna improoove). Hope u enjoy! Big big thanks to @queerconfusionthings and @ambientstars for being my betas I love you <3

The TARDIS lights went from familiar but mildly aggressive crimson to a warm orange which made it feel a little more welcoming than usual. You had a pretty good relationship with the ship all things considered - she would always lead you to the rooms you needed most and sometimes even hide you away from the Master if you needed some time to be on your own. She knew you were thankful for her looking after you, this time being no exception. Yes, she, because you could never call the TARDIS it after all she'd done for you. A rather weird dynamic to have, especially with something seemingly inanimate.

Today wasn't a good day. Your body was betraying you and you couldn't feel more useless and weak, especially knowing how annoyed the Master would always get at the inconvenience that human biology tended to cause. Travelling with him made you realize that he was, in fact, right, and a human body was way too flawed not to be some kind of cruel joke of a creation. Sometimes you wondered how you humans even made it to 70-80 years old, your lives so ridiculously fragile.

“Go away,” you said moodily, curled up on the sofa in the console room, that exact sofa you had made the Master put there since after days spent on trips and adventures you often couldn't even make it to your bedroom.

You were feeling so ill, your thinking process so heavily disrupted by pain and discomfort, you didn't even think twice about what being rude to the Master could result in. Honestly, you didn't even care and right now you would gladly take some verbal abuse because you felt like you deserved it. Sure, you didn't choose to be born human with a chronic illness but it still felt like a failure on your part.

“Watch your tone, love, I might be tolerating it for now but don't you ever think it became acceptable,” he replied, his voice harsh but his facial expression so much softer. He knelt beside the sofa as he looked over you, assessing the damage and rolling up his sleeves while rather loudly thinking about something. You knew his thinking face all too well.

Sure, he could take you to the most advanced hospital in the universe but at the end of the day - they couldn't "fix" you exactly. There was medication to relieve the symptoms but they couldn't really change your way of being completely, so you were now stuck on the TARDIS with another flare-up, trying to breathe through the pain and waiting for your meds to kick in. You used to think that advanced medicine would allow you to swallow one pill and all of your problems would disappear at the snap of your fingers, but in reality, it was a lot more boring and disappointing. The wonderfulness of new medication was merely the fact that the risk of side effects was close to zero. But it was still no magic pill to suddenly turn you into a super human.

“Why wasn't I born a TimeLord,” you moaned, closing your eyes shut as another wave of abdominal cramps and nausea washed over you. You couldn't even tell what was hurting at this point - you felt like one big miserable mess of ache and fatigue.

The Master looked at you suspiciously.

“What, you think TimeLords can't get sick?” he chuckled quietly as if you were amusing him but you could sense he was just trying to distract you.

“I got this Aaxogon plague once, knocked me out for a few months. Nasty stuff, blocks our ability to regenerate so we have to actually live through the whole thing until it fades away,” he continued, so obviously attempting to get yourself out of your head.

“Yeah but not like that,” you replied, interrupting him mid-sentence, your tone giving away your growing anger and frustration, “you don't get sick like that. Besides, you get to live longer, see more, learn more... And, please, don't tell me it's a curse as much as it's a gift, I'm aware of that and I still wish I could have it.”

He went silent for a whole minute, genuinely surprised at the way you saw things.

Most humans he'd encountered were a lot more proud of their nature, taking actual offense of his degrading comments regarding the human race. You didn't. You agreed with them, simply acknowledging the facts. It wasn't personal, it was basically science, and you were an inferior being.

“Don't compare us, dear,” he finally uttered, gently covering your hand with his own and bringing your knuckles to his lips, brushing over them lightly.

The Master's beard scratched against your skin, making it slightly irritated, but it was nice to feel something other than what you were feeling, your senses overwhelmed with your body's misbehavior.

“I don't think any less of you. It is quite infuriating how dependent you all are on food and sleep and, in your case, more rest and medication, and I do think it's a huge design flaw but I took you in for your mind, not for your body.”

You were grateful he wasn't trying to make you feel better by lying and sugar-coating things. Not that he would ever do that for you anyways, it just wasn't him. A weak smile painted over your features.

“Now be a good girl for me and have some sleep, will you?” he added, his voice noticeably deeper and lower. Oh, you knew what he was doing. He was proving you were still desirable despite your vulnerability. Something in your chest sank, your heart probably. Ouch.

He caressed your jawline with the tips of his fingers as he contemplated whether to move up to your temples, and you were quick enough to notice his hesitation.

“A-uh, I have to give my consent first, remember? Rule number 4,” you said, a tiny bit smug and playful.

“Always so good at remembering rules, are we?” he replied with an equally obnoxious and mischievous grin. You gave him no answer and stared into his eyes, his chocolate-y orbs shamelessly mesmerizing you into obedience. You were too exhausted to put up a fight, or maybe you just wanted to think it was your excuse this time.

“Yeah, okay, fine, do the thing, I consent,” you rolled your eyes and winced very soon after, gritting your teeth at another flash of pain, “but promise you're gonna be here when I wake up.”

“Promise.”

Something wet and warm landed on your cheek and you realized he was kissing you goodnight. The familiar feeling of his mind against yours was slowly taking over and you gave in willingly, allowing him to envelope you with his burning but caring consciousness.

“Being a TimeLord is not as great as it might seem. Especially when you’re the last of them,” he whispered as his telepathy was gently putting you to sleep.

You were already drifting away when you heard him, and with an enormous amount of effort you managed to wrap your hand around his index finger, that being a wordless gesture of support and empathy. The Master knew you would say something if you weren’t already passing out, and looked at your now childishly intertwined hands with a hint of amusement and gratitude.

“My silly human” - echoed in your mind before you completely let go of your consciousness.

#dhawan!master #dhawan!master x reader #dhawan!master x you #dhawan!master/reader #dw imagine #my fic #doctor who imagine #doctor who fanfic

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chirp-featherfowl · 3 years

Text

summertime is not a good friend.

- Tommy is 12 when he's assigned as a right hand man to a war general. Far too young, the world thinks. Far too immature, the world says. It is a war for peace, but not one a child should not carry the burden of. It is a war for hope, for prosperity, for freedom, but not one a child should be the right hand man of. The child that is the subject of discussion does not understand, nor does he disagree with his placement. It is not for a long, long, time that he realizes. - In a few months time, the ages of the rest have been revealed. A friend that is 13. An enemy that is 19. An outsider that is 19. A son that is 15. A girl that is 18. The words pass through the minds of the watchers, only fueling them to have the world they carefully spectate fall in shambles. Some say it's sadistic, that it's cruel, but no one listens. Not even they can stop themselves from seeing what comes next. - [Discussion Board Opened!] all hail sir billiam 23 min. ago lmao these losers saying its "problematic". get off of ur skyblock island sweetie, they're fictional <3 -- 18 replies Skye [on hiatus!] 23 min. ago Um they're not fictional? These are reall people - Hati 20 min. ago Lmao yes they are. They might as well be seeing as they shouldve known what they were signing up for -- 4 replies ami | MOD | 18 min. ago hello! please get off this discussion board and delete this post. we do not condone discourse here, try and find another site! thank you. - all hail sir billiam 18 min. ago um no thanks. the mods here r shit anyways, go get the owner if u wanna talk to me -- 8 replies - Tommy is 13 when he learns that his suffering is being watched and condoned by millions of other people. He is angry, and rightfully so. It just so happens that his anger has fallen on deaf ears, though, as his brother, his dear brother, is trapped in delusions of his own creation. It is too late for his brother, and it is too late for himself. - puddle ;; shay @soggy_mem0ry Stop stanning problematic world groups and go back to playing on fucking mineplex or something. This site disgusts me 456 Retweets 34 Quote Tweets 6,282 Likes

el \ DON'T PRIV QRT @el_i god the discourse on here is horrible. i'm not going to be on this site for a while. i don't like what it's becoming. 293 Retweets 2 Quote Tweets 1,497 Likes - It has been over six months since Tommy has been without trust. He cares for his brother, he does his best for him, and he knows he loves him back, despite the situation they're in. Tommy has done his best to bring his brother back to the way he was once before, and even though they both know it won't last long, they both put on a facade for each other. - A young boy, the age of 16, watches as another boy, only three years younger than him, loses almost all his hope. This young boy does not matter to the state of this world, and he never will, but it is the impact that makes it so important. The boy sits near a tree on his island, giving up hope himself. - A girl slaughters her way to victory in small matches in her area, knowing much due to her ability to find sufficient role models. Sufficient role models that happen to be revenge-filled adults that seem to not know they're torturing children, but it doesn't matter to her. It doesn't matter to anyone, in fact. No one cares when the world hinges on the fate of 14 year-olds who shouldn't know how to handle a crossbow, but so do nonetheless. - frog-enthusiast - Follow man. i never thought i'd be making this post, seeing as i'm one of the more popular members of the dsmpblr community, but i'm done. i won't deactivate this blog so other people can still see it, but i probably won't be posting ever again. fuck everyone who condones this shit. - Tommy is 14 when he begins to finally lose his hope. He hasn't yet, despite what everyone else thinks. He is still holding onto it, not for long, but he hasn't let go. But the world seems keen on having him release his grip, and he does, eventually. That day is not today, though, and Tommy Simons still lives. He lives in a, sadly, different and changed mindset, but is still the same Tommy Simons. He cannot say the same for his brother. - THEORIES ABOUT THE DSMP Kadoodles 696K views - 3 days ago MCC 9 Interview - Tapl's thoughts on DSMP, HBomb94 talking about L'cast, and more! MCC Highlights 3.2M views - 5 months ago Tommy confronts Wilbur about Manberg Obli Intel 52K views - 1 day ago - TAPL: Well, I'm not surprised you've asked me this. More that I was the first one to be asked, I guess? TAPL: If I'm being honest, I don't really want to talk about it. What does on in that world is none of my business. Though, that's not the answer you want, is it, huh? TAPL: I don't like it. It gives off such a bad energy, if that's the way you want to put it. I just... don't think it should exist, really? It shouldn't be shown off. - Tommy is 15 when he finally, finally, crumbles. Where he, the final judge, the youngest, is corrupted, is taken down to be who he finally is. Prey. - Various teenagers from all across the world watch as friend gets separated from friend, and foe takes over foe. It's no surprise to the people who chose this demise, but it still is a burden to carry. To be known as one of the people that sentenced a child to an early grave is something not a lot of people personally like. They keep on watching, though. Nothing will stop them. (But it is not as if people try.) The world might crumble there, and they will watch. The world might disappear there, and they will watch. - Replies jumpy-the-alien - frog-enthusiast I'm sad to see you go, but I totally get where you're coming from! I really hope you come back, I love your art, but don't feel pressured. vlaired-spear fuck off with the "fuck everyone" thing. you watched this shit too. you can't put down other people while still doing the same thing. flameo-hotman @vlaired-spear holy shit this is why i hate this website. suck a dick flowgastrell @vlaired-spear I know right! Its not like the ccs will see this anyway flameo-hotman @flowgastrell yeah, maybe not in a discord server, but there's still a high chance when you post it on the fucking internet - TAPL: I know I'm probably going to lose a lot of people saying this, but you asked for my opinion, and here it is. I don't want to lie about it. Especially not when fucking children are at risk. - Tommy remains 15 for a very long time. It is not of his own volition. He is bored, and time passes slowly. Not until his friend arrives, that is. His friend with the mask, his friend with the lies. His friend that's not his friend. But Tommy doesn't know that. - [Discussion Board Opened!] all hail sir billiam 45 min. ago it will be a long day in hell when i give up dsmp content lmaoooo got banned from that other board the other day mods were toxic as shit might report it idk -- 4 replies Gertrude Supremacy 44 min. ago :O Oh no what happened - all hail sir billiam 44 min. ago just the antis being toxic again lol -- 2 replies - Tommy remains 15 when he his abused by the one he thinks is a friend. He remains 15 during the explosions, the traps, the hitting, the fighting, the party, the- The things a 15-year-old should not have to deal with. He stops saying sorry for being too weak-willed. He starts saying sorry for being too disobedient. He does both, and gets punished "suitably" for both. It is a game, and he does not know the rules. to be continued!! may make a follow up post explaining the au

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bnhaficsforthesoul · 4 years

Note

Can we PLEASE get some todoroki fluff I miss your writing 🥺

hI IM SO SORRY I KNOW THESE PAST FEW MONTHS IVE BEEN SHIT AT WRITING/POSTING BUT IVE BEEN CONSTANTLY BUSY, also I wrote this like 2 weeks ago at 4 am and I don't even know if it's the kind of fluff you wanted lmao dont mind me 😊 (also I guess this is a college au?)

----

'Do you love me?'

Shoutos eyebrows furrowed at the random text you had sent him late at night, or early in the morning he supposed. You had told him a few hours ago that you were feeling extra sleepy tonight and were gonna head to bed early, and there was literally an 'I love you too' message above yours, the one he had sent through your nightly 'I love you' before bed. But apparently that wasnt enough.

'Of course I do, why?'

He tried focusing his attention back onto the show he was watching, but the uneasy feeling in his gut told him that you needed him right now - and he chose to pause the show and impatiently wait for your response. Shouto couldnt help but get slightly annoyed as the 3 dots kept appearing and disappearing, but still, he kept his eyes focused on the bright screen, ready to read whatever it was you were going to send him.

'Just.... Idk... its dumb... I know you love me, I really do, but sometimes I cant help but think you're just staying because you feel bad... it wouldnt be the first time someones used me for affection..."

Shouto found himself staring at your message for a while. Did you think he was using you?

'Baby... you dont really think I'm with you because I feel bad... you know me, I'm not willing to stay with someone for something as dumb as that. I love you y/n, I love you more than anyone I've ever met, please believe me. Do you want me to come over?'

Letting out a long sigh as he sent his reply, he jumped up out of his bed and went to slip his shoes on. Even if you said you didnt want him to come, he was going to.

'No! Well - if you do.... can you come in like an hour?'

'Why?'

'I dont want you to see me crying."

Its official now, hes definitely coming over. He even grabbed an extra hoodie for good measure, knowing that no matter what his hoodie would cheer you up at least a bit. Your apartment was very luckily pretty close by, only a 15 minute walk that he could push down to 10 if he moved quickly - so it wasnt long before a slightly panting Shouto was knocking on your door.

You knew who it was, who else in their right mind would come over at 4am (although you did have some highly crackheaded friends that wouldnt surprise you if they suddenly showed up this late, but right now you just wanted Shouto so you didnt even consider that).

"You weren't supposed to come for another 40 minutes."

Shouto gave you a teasing smile as he made his way through your door, even though your tear stained cheeks and puffy red eyes almost had him tearing up himself. And you really thought he didnt actually love you.

"Hmm really? I didnt notice, I was too busy missing my darling."

Not even giving you the chance to roll your eyes at his remark, he grabbed your hand and pulled you back into your bedroom, barely kicking off his shoes before sitting down and holding out the hoodie he brought for you.

"If you wanna lie down you have to put this on."

This time you were able to fully give him your eye roll, pulling a snicker from his lips - apparently even sad you still found joy in messing with him. Once the hoodie was on, Shouto wasted no time in wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into him, falling backwards himself so that you would end up lying on his chest.

"Now, you wanna talk about it baby? Why'd you think that all of the sudden?"

He felt you nuzzle closer into him, your fists bundling up his own hoodie as you breathed in his comforting scent. Even if you were nervous to talk about what going on, Shouto always had a way of keeping you calm.

"I was just thinking about how much my life has changed since I moved here, I guess I was being sentimental. First I was all happy thinking about how I got to meet you and all our friends, and how I felt included and cared about for once. But then I remembered my whole reason for moving out here in the first place - before college, no one gave a damn about me. Not my parents, not my friends, no one. I realized how many people that were close to me had never cared about my wellbeing, but stayed because they knew that I would care about theirs. So I moved here for a new start, hoping I'd find people who did care, and I did! But I cant help but wonder if they only care because they're using me too..."

Shouto rubbed your back gently as you rambled on, listening intently to every word you said. It hurt hearing you say these things, he knew you didnt have much back home, but he didnt think that you had really never had people genuinely care about you.

"Baby, you're with good people now. We all love you, even Katsuki loves you. And you better get it through that thick skull of yours that I absolutely adore you. No one here is using you, and if they are you know I will not hesitate to beat the shit out of them."

He smiled when he heard your soft giggle, happy he was able to help lift your spirits.

"Shouto, you cant just go beating people up."

"I can if they hurt you."

"Only if they punch me or something. Otherwise, no. I cant risk you getting actually hurt."

Shouto didnt respond to that, instead pulling you closer into his chest and rolling onto his side, lacing your legs together and making it so that you couldnt leave even if you wanted to as a soft smile made it's way onto his face.

"Y/n?"

"Yeah babe?"

"I love you. More than anything."

#😬😬😬😬#todoroki #todoroki shouto #todoroki x reader #todoroki imagine #bnha #mha #a sad yet fluffy comfort fic with todoroki where rEADER is getting comforted? wow

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littlemisslol-fic · 3 years

Note

Say... Eugene didn't find Varian yet in Alone We have no Future? 👀

Ohohoh fun! I’m assuming you mean a branch off the main story after Eugene got a funky new hole in the shoulder (haha rip), but if I’m misinterpreting the question let me know and I’ll write another one!

Also this got SUPER LONG so I’m very sorry! I’ll toss it under a cut lol, I just have a lot of thoughts I guess!

The Fic in question, for reference

1. Though I never really got into it in the fic (since it’s so short, didn’t really want to bloat it with a lot of objectively useless information) I always thought of the “politics” of Alone as one great big glorified gang war that crosses the entire area. There’s allies, rivalries, blood feuds, all that. it’s a delicate balance, where too much upset could spark a war. It’s part of why the Saporians were so sneaky the first time as opposed to just attacking, they couldn’t afford to outwardly cross Corona. Unfortunately, that’s a two way street, and Rapunzel is bound by the same conventions- even if she knows they did what they did, according to Saporia’s allies she would be attacking for no reason.

As long as Varian’s in their territory, he’s effectively on his own.

2. Andrew, for all his wanton cruelty, knows better than to break his toys. To him, in this universe at least, Varian is more valuable alive. In the wake of Fitzherbert getting shot, Varian’s been nearly docile- who knew all it took was a little murder to get him to finally shut up. Of course, they both think Eugene’s a corpse on the side of the road at this point, so Andrew’s content to go back to where they’d been before.

The Saporian base is the hallowed out shell of a series of old apartment complexes. The first time they’d brought Varian to the building they’d been prepared. I always imagined that essentially they’d gutted the basement level of one of the interior buildings, leaving tiny windows, concrete floors and walls, and to add the cherry on top, they’d remove the stairs, turning it into a concrete pit.

Poor Varian only just managed to escape the first time by slowly eating less food over the course of months until he was finally able to worm his way up an unprotected HVAC vent, one the Saporians had thought was too small for even him.

When they throw him back down there, it‘s been nailed shut.

3. Varian spends the first few days nearly catatonic. He doesn’t eat, barely sleeps; all he can see is Eugene’s body flat on the concrete and red, red, red, red-

Andrew eventually grows impatient with him.

Even though Varian’s important alive, it doesn’t make him invulnerable. Andrew’s already a well practiced hand at making the kid pull his weight. He doesn’t pull his punches, verbal or otherwise. Varian tries to be quiet with each blow, biting his cheek until he tastes blood, but at one point Andrew brings up Eugene again. He’s dead because of you, Andrew tells him, you chose to try and escape, and he was stupid enough to fall for your lie.

When Varian’s sufficiently cowed, Andrew leaves him a ballpoint pen, a stack of paper, and a list of inventions he wants blueprinted. Varian’s familiar with this, watching as Andrew scales a rope ladder to the upper levels and pulls it up after him. Something in him cracks, espeically when Andrew glares down at him with a final order.

Get to work.

4. Even if they hadn’t lucked out like they did in the original fic, of course Eugene and the ladies are going after their boy. Before politics had forced their hand, but with Eugene at least there were three people who could sneak into the Saporian base. Two just wouldn’t cut it, but three-

Well, three might just work.

They’re forced to be much sneakier than they had been in the original fic. Instead of fire and chaos, they work quietly to dispatch as many Saporians as they can. It’s a moonless night, clouded and dark. It’s an advantage they sorely need. Rapunzel works with her frying pan, so her victims are probably still alive... but Eugene and Cassandra have no qualms about staining the evening ruby red. Andrew goes down without a sound, his throat slit with deadly accuracy. Eugene can’t even find satisfaction in it, it’s too clean, too painless.

But it will have to do.

5. When they find Varian, the kid’s absolutely miserable looking. Cass kicks the rope ladder down into his little pit, but Rapunzel foregoes it entirely. She jumps from the ledge, landing hard and nearly stumbling in her rush to get to him. She sobs, bundling him close to her and rocking him back and forth. Varian clings to her, hiding his face in her shoulder as he cries.

Eugene stands nearby, feeling awkward. Feeling guilty. He hadn’t been able to protect the kid, hadn’t been able to stop Andrew- hell, Varian had ended up back here because Eugene had gotten shot in the first place. He’s still convinced that he needs to rip the band-aid off, so to speak, that he should leave Varian behind in the arms of his sister where he can grow into his own person without a dark, wandering shadow behind him.

But all of that disappears the second the kid looks at him.

Varian leaves Rapunzel’s hug, throwing himself at Eugene without preamble. He catches the kid, hugging tight, unable to stop himself.

“Hey, kid,” he says. Eugene’s eyes burn, his teeth grit against the tears. “You’re okay,” he tells Varian, even as the kid sniffles and clings to his jacket.

“You’re okay.”

OOP OKAY SORRY THAT WAS REALLY LONG LMAO I always love a good what if, even for my own stories! Thank you for the ask, anon!! 💕💕

Send me an AU, and I’ll come back with 5 points about it!

#asks #alone we have no future #varian

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goldenfawnwriting · 3 years

Text

Birds Of a Feather- Part 16 Hawks Fic

Summary: Finch has been missing for over a month with no trace and Hawks is getting very nervous.

A/N: So I started writing this and had it halfway done two days ago but when I went to save it, it deleted it all so fuck me I guess lmao

Warnings: Angst, mentions of abuse, I think that's it.

It had been a month now. Finch had started wearing heavy eyeliner, foundation to cover her freckles. Menial things to try and evade the commission's dogs a little longer. She kept her wings wrapped up in bandages, telling the people she worked with at the small cafe that they had been burned badly beyond recognition and that they used to be a pinkish hued white.

When she got home every night to her much too expensive, tiny apartment, she unwrapped them, staring deadly at the fallen feathers. They were breaking off from the tight wrapping. She only threw them away, going about her usual showering and watching a bit of tv before going to bed. She had been doing alright for herself but she was going to have to go withdrawal more money soon. She sighed, she really was dreading having to do that. To go about withdrawaling money she would have to travel at least 50 to 100 miles away just to avoid tracing.

Which would just be annoying. The more she traveled the more of a chance someone would recognize her. She knew that, but she also knew she couldn't put it off for much longer.

Hawks on the other hand was pulling his hair out at the office. They wouldn't allow him to go search with the other people out looking for her. He was told to just sit still and look pretty and if anyone asked during interviews he was supposed to tell them that she was fine and just taking a break.

His mind was going off the wall. He had looked over the papers over and over and over and just couldn't find a lead no matter what. The last time she had taken money out it was in the city before she left. She must've gotten another phone, another number, cause her old phone was both missing and unresponsive. She probably turned it off and dumped it somewhere. He was at his wit's end.

"Mr. Hawks? They're asking for you in conference room three."

A petite, older woman called from his doorway. He huffed, running a hand over his face before setting the papers down on hid desk and standing from his chair. He glanced over at Finch's old desk, there was a thin settling of dust on everything and he grimaced. It had been so long. He just wanted her home.

He made his way to the conference room and knocked before entering, swinging open the door to enter. He was greeted with all the higher ups of the commission and he swallowed hard. What was going on?

"Hawks, nice of you to make it. We've missed you at the last couple meetings."

He only nodded to the man in the black suit.

"Why am I here?"

He questioned gruffly. He really didn't feel like another interview, let alone some menial publicity event.

"We have a new ping on her bank account. We want you to investigate."

Hawks snatched the papers from him violently, looking at the location and time. 4 minutes ago, about 58 miles away.

He could go now and get there in an hour. If she was moving under cover she wouldn't be flying so he could get there and still have about an hour to search before she would really be gone again. He didn't wait for them to say anything else, he took off out the window at the speed of light, pushing his wings to go as fast as he possibly could.

He made it in about 30 minutes, a new record for him. He was absolutely exhausted as he slowed down over the city it pinged from, flying around the perimeter before going inwards to look down on the sidewalks. He scanned and scanned and was upset to not come up with any brown wings strolling down main street. Not that he expected her too. As he continued looking he noticed an odd woman, looking up at him before tearing into the entrance of a store. Was she a criminal? He hummed but decided not to persue. He was here for one reason.

That's when it hit him. The bandaged appendages. He whipped around, flying back to the store and ripping the door open, searching it quickly before turning to an employee.

"Did you see a woman with bug bandaged wings?"

"U-uh she just went out the west entrance!"

He was running then, pushing through people before he spotted her again, running through the crowds away from him, trying to disappear into the people but he wouldn't allow that. He sprung up, using his wings to propel him over the crowd before coming down and grabbing her, tumbling them both to the ground.

"Let go of me!"

"Why were you running?!"

He huffed, getting her up and handcuffing her before getting them out of the crowd. He needed a more private place to talk. She thrashed, trying to get away. She knew she was screwed. He had found her and there was no way out of this. He was going to catch on to her at some point, why was she so surprised? Maybe because she thought she had disguised herself pretty well? Of course that would mean nothing to Keigo.

They entered a back alley where Hawks turned her around to face him, leaving the handcuffs on just to make sure she wouldn't run off.

"Finch?"

"W-who are you talking about?"

She tried to play dumb but she was way too nervous, fidgeting with her hands and looking off. She had never been a good liar.

"Stop playing stupid, where the hell have you been? Why did you go? Do you know how much everyone has been worrying? Asami, me, everyone at work!"

"Oh stop, I know no one at work missed me! You've probably had girls at your knees every day since I've been gone..."

He grabbed her chin and made her look at him, his thumb and index finger digging into her jaw and forcing it into an upward angle.

"Stop it Finch. I'm not kidding, where have you been. I've been killing myself trying to find you."

"I just wanted to get away..."

"Is this because I didn't say I love you back, because if thats the case-"

"That's not it! I just wanted to get away, I needed some time.."

"Ya and to stress out everyone who loves you. We thought you were dead Kore."

Her eyes were filling with tears and Hawks let his hand slip away from her jaw. Her short, choppy bob moved to veil her face as she looked down. He sighed and looked around, anywhere but her.

"What happened to you? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine..."

"What's going on with your wings?"

"Nothing, they're fine."

"Then unwrap them and let's go home, Asami has been up my ass-"

"No!"

There was a pause as he stared at her. No? He was dumbfounded. She wasn't going to come home?

"K-Keigo... I can't..."

"What do you mean?"

"C-can we go somewhere else to talk...?"

He nodded and uncuffed her, opting to grab her hand instead.

"My apartment is like sixty some miles away. Can we go there?"

She offered. He couldn't lie, he was curious about how she'd been living.

"Ya, that's fine. I'll follow you.."

He was appalled when she started walking.

"Wait- you're not gonna walk there right? Just fly..."

"I can't."

"What do you mean, you said they're fine-"

She turned, undoing the bandages to unwrap her wings. When she finally let the bandages drop his jaw went slack, his eyes wide. Her feathers slowly were falling out, molting if you will.

"It's from keeping them wrapped, almost all of them are gone. I can't fly without feathers..."

"You haven't been flying this entire time?"

He whispered. He was almost brought to tears. Her wings, once so beautiful, were so hideous now, marled and torn apart.

"No. If I flew people would see me. And I couldn't just let the colour be known, you guys have been reporting every fucking second of the day."

She growled. He reached out, his fingers nearly grazing the broken feathers before she ripped her wings away, folding them up.

"If you want to come let's go, I'm not waiting around forever."

He blinked away the shock before sighing and following her lead. He hated walking through cities. He always got wayyy too much attention.

#hawks angst #bnha hawks #hawksbnha #wing hero hawks #mha hawks #keigo takami #takami keigo

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myluciferiscody · 4 years

Text

i loved you first. (Epilogue)

pairing: Xavier Plympton x Reader

word count: 898

warnings: fluff, slight language

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | epilogue

2021

Life changes so fast.

You sat on the new couch, in your new condo, with your friends as they cheered while Chloe was sentenced to prison. The news had caught wind of her trial, and Los Angeles was on the edge of their seats, waiting for the verdict. You had refused to be in the courtroom any more than you needed too. The jury had found her guilty, and she was going to spend the next ten years locked up.

“HALLELUJAH!” Montana and her boyfriend, Trevor, cheered as Chet and Ray yelled from the kitchen, eating the leftovers from dinner. You let out a gasp, feeling a tremendous weight lift from your shoulders. Brooke hugged you tightly, her pregnant belly bumping into you as you laughed in relief.

“Justice has been served!” Montana cheered, raising her margarita, accidentally splashing some onto Trevor’s thick head of hair.

“I hope she enjoys her time,” you joked, knowing you’d be sleeping a lot better tonight.

You laughed at Trevor’s victory dance when the door opened, revealing an exhausted, yet ecstatic Xavier, home from a long day on set.

“DID YOU HEAR THE GOOD NEWS?” Chet called, coming into the living room with a piece of fried chicken.

“I heard on the way home!” Xavier said, laughing as Chet gave him a playful pat on the shoulders. He spotted you on the couch, and you stood up, pulling him into a hug as he squeezed you tightly.

“We’re free, babe,” he said, nuzzling your neck as you started to cry from happiness.

“Thank goodness,” you giggled, pulling away when he pressed a kiss to your neck. “How was work?” you asked.

“I think Winona likes me,” he said, grinning at you. “It’s the last season of Stranger Things, and I just had to let her know how much I enjoyed Heathers, so.”

“You’re gonna be famous, man!” Ray sauntered in, eating mashed potatoes straight out of the carton. “I can’t wait for the ladies-.”

“Ahem!” Montana and Brooke glared at him, before nodding their head at you.

“Uhh, never mind,” Ray laughed playfully, before turning and hiding back in the kitchen. Brooke mumbled about his drinking, before giggling.

“I’m gonna change,” Xavier said, pulling away from you completely, “Leave some food for me!” he called to Ray before he disappeared to your bedroom.

You took your seat next to Brooke, excited about how quickly all your lives were changing. Brooke and Ray were expecting a baby and newly engaged. Montana finally made a move on Trevor, and they were now official. You and Xavier...

You grinned as he sauntered back out, dodging Chet as they stumbled into the kitchen, playfully punching each other as Ray yelled at them for almost knocking the dessert off the counter.

You didn’t know what was coming next. After you and Xavier finally kissed for the first time months ago, you guys had decided to take it slow. It wasn’t until Chloe’s trial finally started three months after the horrific incident that Xavier asked you to be his girlfriend. You have been together ever since. He was your support system through all the police interviews, witness testimonies, all of it.

Montana, Brooke, Ray, Chet, and now Trevor, have been by your side through all of it. If it weren’t for them, you and Xavier probably would be worse off than you already were. You never doubted your friendships and love for one another. All of this proved your point.

Montana was there for you the nights you couldn’t sleep, the nightmares keeping you awake. When you were recommended temporary counseling, Brooke was there for you when you wanted to lock yourself up in your room and let everything bottle up. Ray was always the funny friend, you always had a smile on your face when he was around. Chet was tough on the outside, but a softie for his girlfriends on the inside, despite the worry he’d say the wrong things and make you feel worse.

Xavier was all of that in one person. You and Xavier had saved enough money for a deposit on this apartment, finally relieved when you didn’t have to live in a place Chloe’s ghost still haunted you. He quit his job not long after everything happened. He went back to his passion for acting, landing a few small roles before Netflix finally saw his talent.

After Xavier ate, you all gathered in the living room, deciding to watch a movie. Xavier wrapped the both of you in a blanket, cuddling with you throughout the film. His cologne was one of your favorite smells in the world. Xavier was your safe haven. He was the love of your life, and he loved you.

“I love you, Xavier,” you whispered, watching Laurie Strode read Tommy his favorite book.

He smiled, pressing a kiss to your lips as Ray looked at the two of you, making a kissy face. You giggled, giving him the finger simultaneously as Xavier, who laughed harder at that.

“I love you, y/n,” he said, pressing his lips to your head.

You were content with your life now. You wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. There would be no more heartbreak; no longing glances his way when he was kissing someone who wasn’t you. There was not going to be another Chloe Smith.

After all, you loved him first.

taglist: thank you all for reading! i was genuinely worried that nobody would like this. i tend to write a lot of angst with unhappy endings. it’s different from what i’m used to, and i didn’t want it to seem i was trying too hard, lmao. thank you all again, and i hope to see you all soon.

@thefandomzoneisdangerous @lemonwhiskers @jetblackpayne @langdonsvcrd @okoktrinity22 @uwonman @stefanmikaleson1864 @sevenwonderwitch @rubbrninja @iamnotjesha @leatherduncan @imshakingandcryingrn @bratzblitz @goblackcat69 @brookethompsonownsme @bookoffracturedescapes @zodiyack@bitchchatter@guiltyfiend @psychobitchtess @aangrana @thexmancometh @wtfcas @pleasforhelp @capshoney @agentnightshade44 @frenchlangdon @morganelizabeth-99 @fathoe69333 @infagnito @felicityofbakerstreet @codyfernmorelikedaddyfern @arthurismybby @fandoms-allovertheplace @welcometothelioncage @mysteryartisticwriter

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