#well these are my 30 reasons to love yoongi | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ggukkiedae · 4 months

Text

the relationship progresses

date: november 17, 2018

warning/s: brief mention of yoonmi’s biological parents,self-doubt about being loved, kisses

notes from cia: aside from when yoonmi is talking to namjoon and yoongi, this whole piece is in english, please keep that in mind bc i don’t want to italicize every dialogue here it feels wrong (also gif not mine, it’s from pinterest)

word count: 2.8k

yoonmi and mark take the next step in their relationship

She groaned, choosing to bury her face in her pillow instead of getting up. As much as she loved and respected her leader, she really couldn’t be bothered waking up so early in the morning. The older’s deep chuckles resonated throughout the room as he turned to more… persuasive techniques.

Namjoon essentially nudged her until she was lying on her back then took her hands, pulling her up into a sitting position. Not wanting to give in, she kept her eyes closed and let her head fall backwards.

“I thought you’d be more excited to get up today,” Namjoon’s smirk was visible through the tone of his voice. “Don’t you have a date?”

Her eyes snapped open while she shot straight up on her own. Right, she was meeting Mark. With the slightest bit of panic, she threw her blanket to the side and checked her phone. She gave Namjoon a pout upon seeing the time.

“Oppa,” she hit his arm, “you know I don’t have to be there until eleven! Why would you wake me up at eight in the morning?”

“Breakfast should be a pretty valid reason,” Namjoon placed a tray on her bed filled with a plate of pancakes and a cup of water. “That, and I thought you’d like to hear a few updates regarding the lawsuit we filed against them.”

She frowned but nodded as she started eating. Though she had not needed to be directly involved aside from discussing terms she’d like to include in their movement against her birthgiver and sperm donor. They did, however, continuously try to contact her to get her to call it off. How they got her contact details, she’d never know.

“It’s all good news,” Namjoon reassured her. “Given the rules of the concert and the copyright statement of BigHit, it does count against their actions and is enough to incriminate them. A restraining order is being drafted out as well by the legal team, you and Yoonsung hyung can go through it together tomorrow morning.”

“That’s good,” a satisfied smile appeared on her face, “because I really don’t want to cross paths with them ever again.”

Her leader patted her head, “You won’t have to. You don’t even have to fly back to London for this, your brother has it under control.”

“Remind me to thank Yoonsung oppa tomorrow,” her body relaxed upon knowing for certain that she didn’t have to see those people anymore.

Namjoon opened his mouth to speak, but a knock on the door caught their attention.

Yoongi stepped into the room, “We leave at 10:15, alright, Princess?”

Yoonmi saluted, seeing as she had just taken a bite when Yoongi opened the door and prefered to wait until after she has swallowed to speak.

Yoongi nodded, crossing his arms. “Hannah said she wanted you there for dinner, so eat, don’t skip. I’ll be at their dorm to pick you up by 9:30 after. Be in my sight by 10, okay?”

“Got it,” she smiled at Yoongi, satisfied at him smiling back at her before he left the room once again.

Namjoon chuckled at the interaction of his members before standing up, “I’ll leave you to it, then. Stay safe today, stay hidden, and have fun.”

“Thank you, oppa.”

“The outfit you have ready is cute, but don’t forget a sweater,” he kissed her forehead and walked out the room.

Yoonmi sat quietly at the small cafe Yoongi dropped her off at, gently stirring her hot chocolate while trying not to fall asleep. Maybe hot chocolate wasn’t the best choice of drink when she was fighting her own eyelids to stay open.

It was a rare free Saturday that she had in the midst of filming SKY Castle, the Japan leg of the Love Yourself tour, and the beginnings of discussions for her solo comeback. To her surprised delight, Mark also had the day off.

With the couple’s schedules being full in the past year, they found it hard to see each other in person often, but they made it work with quick visits to dorms or small and timed dates to hidden places.

A smile made its way to her face.

Mark had stuck to his word and had patiently stayed by her side for the year he was courting her, and now, almost a year into officially being together, he stayed with her despite the hassle of their schedules.

Yoonmi wasn’t as oblivious as most people thought her to be, not when she already knew what to look for. She was aware that there was a good chance Mark loved her.

The look in his eyes whenever he was looking at her, she could see it in the way her older brother looked at his wife. How could she not recognize a look she had wanted upon her for so long?

But she was scared.

What if she was wrong? What if there was a reason he wasn’t saying anything? What right did she have to assume he was possibly waiting for her to say it first? What if she couldn’t say it? Would he get tired of her eventually?

“Did someone order a double chocolate chip cookie with a boyfriend on the side?”

Mark’s voice shocked her out of her thoughts as he placed a tray in front of her. He quickly pressed a kiss to her cheek and sat next to her.

Another thing they haven’t done in their nine-month long official relationship. They haven’t kissed. She wondered if Mark got frustrated with how slow she was taking things.

She shook her thoughts away, choosing to focus on her boyfriend. “You scared me.”

“Sorry, Little Star,” he intertwined their fingers, “I ran a little late because the hyungs were curious.”

A laugh escaped her, “They still don’t know, huh?”

They had made a bet when they first became official about who would be the last to find out from their members. Yoonmi had her bets on Yoongi, but Jungkook lost that bet for her. (Thus her making Yoongi and Mark bond when they can)

Mark had bet on Taeyong mostly because the leader was faced with handling the entirety of NCT alongside the addition of Hannah and Jungwoo into 127, making him too busy to notice.

“Just Hannah,” her boyfriend took a sip from his drink.

“And Hyuckie oppa.” Yoonmi’s revelation made Mark choke a little. He hit his chest to clear his throat while she rubbed his back. “Did you not know that he knows?”

“You told him?”

She shrugged and gave him an innocent look, “We’re best friends, that’s kinda how it works.”

Mark nodded, “Right, somehow there’s no secrets there. Thank god, I didn’t think I could keep it from him any longer.”

Yoonmi took a sip of her hot chocolate and gave a dramatic sigh, “Ah, my boyfriend Mark oppa, and his boyfriend Hyuckie oppa.”

Mark simply laughed at her before noticing her drooping eyelids. He leaned down, aligning his face with hers, soft concern making itself known through his expressions, “You’re basically falling asleep. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she reassured him, “I should be asking you that. Should I really be taking your rest time away from you?”

“You’re worth much more than my time,” he gently tucked stray pieces of her hair behind her ear and smiled. “How about this? We finish our snacks and our coffee, then we go back to my place and just have a lazy day. Sound good?”

She gave him an apologetic smile. Mark had already booked them tickets to visit an aquarium, meaning he spent money on their date for the day already, yet he was there offering to just not take the opportunity in favor of having a lazy day.

“Hey, I know that look on your face,” he tapped under her chin so she could look him in the eye, “no feeling guilty. I actually want to have a lazy day, I just want to hang out with my girlfriend. It doesn’t matter what we do. I can transfer the digital tickets to Hannah and Hyuck, anyway. They’d appreciate the aquarium.”

“I want to hang out with my boyfriend, too,” she leaned her head on his shoulder. “Whatever you want to do, I’ll do it.”

“Eat up, then,” he nuzzled his cheek to her head, “we have a lazy day ahead of us.”

The lazy day wasn’t working.

Given both their workaholic natures, Yoonmi and Mark had once again settled on their laptops, showing each other different things they have been working on and getting each other’s opinions.

Some may call them crazy for doing this when they could be leaving work behind them for another day, but they both enjoyed making music. Being busy is something they were both used to, as well.

That’s how they found themselves on Mark’s bed, laying on their stomachs while they were going through each other’s files. Well, she was on the bed. Mark had draped his arm around her shoulders, which led to her tucking her upper body partially under Mark’s torso so he could properly use both hands to navigate his laptop. Mark had finished his turn, so Yoonmi had pulled out a few tracks for him to listen to as well.

“Dude, this sounds really good,” Mark bopped his head as he listened to one of her potential songs for her comeback. “I think you could lower the tempo a bit in the chorus, but otherwise I really like it.”

“You think so?” she looked at him.

Her boyfriend simply smiled at her, “You know you make amazing songs. Here, let me set it up to the tempo I imagined, maybe you’ll like it.”

She just laughed and let him take over the keyboard. Usually, she’d keep people from touching her tracks unless they were her members or the in-house BigHit producers, but she trusted Mark.

Within a few minutes, he played the song back, watching her intently as she took it in. A smile graced her face upon the realization that Mark was right. The slower tempo worked better for the chorus and sounded more pleasing to listen to in combination with the verses.

“Save that, please,” she felt Mark rest his chin on her shoulder, “I’m taking that suggestion.”

He turned his head, placing a light kiss to her cheek before turning back to the screen in front of them, “I got you. And, save. Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to exit the… What’s this?”

“Oh,” she looked at the audio file open just behind the one she had originally shown him, “this one isn’t really finished yet. It’s actually more like word vomit from my brain straight into a track, but I think you should listen.”

She pressed play and zoned out, debating if she should excuse herself to the bathroom as soon as the first line played. In My Dreams was a song she made after their last in person date in early September, just before she left for LA. It was then when she realized that she didn’t just like him, she loved him. She was actually in love with him, and it scared her because she—despite all the signs she sees pointing to yes—was not completely 110% sure he loved her back.

Looking back at the past year in her life, she would have saved herself a lot of grief. That’s why she decided to let this cat out of the bag now that the opportunity had presented itself. She may not be absolutely certain of Mark’s response, but she could have hope in the signs he had been giving her, right?

She zoned back in when she recognized the end of the song, hand coming up to tug at the ends of her hair.

“Okay,” Mark retracted his body, resting his hand that was once around her on the middle of her back so he could see her better, “first of all, that was amazing. Second, I don’t want to get ahead of anything here, but did you write this on a whim, or is this something you wrote, like, I don’t know… How do I say this?”

“With you on my mind?” she offered, not meeting his eyes.

His gaze on her felt warm yet curious at the same time, “Yeah. That.”

“I did,” she focused her vision on her hands and hair, avoiding even looking at Mark through her peripheral vision. “I wrote it with you in mind.”

There was a moment of silence that passed between them that made Yoonmi internally panic. Maybe this was the wrong move. Maybe it wasn’t time for this yet.

A finger placed under her chin and turning her head broke her out of her panic, and she was met with the softest look in Mark’s eyes.

There it was. The look she saw on her brother when he was looking at his wife. She could see the same emotions so clearly in Mark’s eyes that most of her doubt melted away.

“For real?” he asked her. “I don’t want to assume anything or to rush you. We go at your pace, okay?”

That was it. She was going to say it. No regrets, no listening to doubts. She wanted Mark to know. She took a deep breath.

“I love you.”

Her voice came out almost like a whisper. It wasn’t as confident as she wanted to sound, but it was genuine and honest. That was what mattered.

A smile broke onto Mark’s face as the words processed in his mind. He sat up, pulling her along with him before standing up. Yoonmi watched curiously as he. walked around the bed, closer to her side and kneeling in front of her.

“Was that necessary?” she laughed at his antics.

“I just want you to be completely comfortable when I tell you this,” he smiled up at her. “I love you. I have for a while now. I remember the moment I realized I love you. It was back in June and you fell asleep here, remember?”

She nodded, remembering that day. They had gone for a walk by the Han river and a quick trip to a dog cafe, where she had ended up absolutely covered in fur, so she had to borrow some of Hannah’s clothes as soon as Mark brought her back to his dorm. He had, of course, lent her a hoodie on top of Hannah’s clothes, just because.

Mark hummed in thought, “I think I just spent a good fifteen minutes watching you when it just clicked in my head. I love you. I love how passionate you are about your music and hobbies, I love how you’re still one of the kindest and most humble people I know, love being by your side, I love spending time with you, I love that I get to call you mine, and I just love you.”

Not knowing how to respond to that, Yoonmi just lunged forward to hug him, draping her arms on his shoulders and burying her face in his neck.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” her voice was muffled by his sweater.

His chuckle sent vibrations through her body as he wrapped his arms around her waist, sitting back on his rug and pulling her onto his lap, “We take things at your pace, Love. I’m ready whenever you’re ready.”

The new nickname made warmth spread from her chest the moment she heard him say it. She leaned back back, looking at him with a shy smile.

“Did you just call me ‘Love’?”

He nodded, pressing their foreheads together, “Seems appropriate, don’t you think?”

“You’re right, Love.” The nickname felt foreign yet natural at the same time, coming from her mouth.

Just then, she felt the urge to kiss him. With the adrenaline of their confessions and today’s theme of not listening to doubts, she made a decision.

Mark’s breath hitched as she leaned forward, letting their noses touch, but he leaned backwards so he was looking her in the eyes.

“Yoonmi,” he began, glancing downwards before meeting her eyes again, “can I kiss you?”

“Yes, please.”

That was the confirmation Mark needed. Not just a yes of agreement, but a yes of want as well.

Yoonmi closed her eyes as she felt Mark’s hand come up to the side of her face. She let him guide her towards himself until she felt him slot their lips together into a chaste kiss.

He pulled away, chuckling as she hid her face in his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized, “I don’t actually know how to kiss.”

Mark just gently lifted her face to his. “Don’t worry. I can take the lead on this one.”

With that, he pulled her in for another kiss, finding a rhythm for them that she could keep up with.

From then on, Yoonmi only had two thoughts: Mark actually loves me and God, I think I might get addicted to kissing my boyfriend.

taglist: @sunflower-0180 @seaoffangirling @yourwonderbelle @1-800-enhypennabi @kamiiyou @strwberrydinosaur @uraveragefangirlsposts @caratinylyfe @1-800-minji @one16core @kimhyejin3108 @chansols @akshverse @toriluvsfics @billboard-singer @stopeatread @allthings-fandoms @jammingjaem

drop an ask or a dm if you wanna be added or taken out of the taglist 🥰 requests are also open!

#yoonmi.markmi #yoonmi.lyanswer #miya #yoonmi #kim yoonmi #bts 8th member #bts female member #bts female addition

51 notes · View notes

berryhobii · 7 months

Note

Hiii! I recently discovered your account and I'm so in love with you writings 😭. Can you do a namjoon x f!reader where namjoon gets really jealous and possessive so he picks a fight with her but then he regrets it when he saw her crying so he decided to remind her who she belongs to?!! Thanks in advance 💜

Thanks for your request! I actually kind of forgot what you specified so by the time I finished and read it again, I realize that you asked for reader to cry. I totally forgot. I’m sorry! I did include some tears of pleasure though. Hopefully that makes up for it. I also made Namjoon super toxic in this🫣still, I hope you enjoy!🩵🩵🩵

“You’re such an asshole! Why do you always do this?!” You slammed your purse down on your vanity, the furniture rocking under the force. You didn’t even care about your expensive makeup tumbling off it. That blush was $30!

“Why do you always insist on parading yourself around like you’re not in a relationship?”

Your head whipped around so fast that the tips of your braids smacked you in the face.

“You’re acting like I have For Rent sign hanging off my pussy, Namjoon!”

“You might as well!”

This wasn’t the first time you and your long term boyfriend had gotten into an argument like this. Specifically about this particular topic. It was honestly exhausting. Why did you even stick around?

Namjoon had been your on and off boyfriend for close to a decade. You two met in a little after high school. While he went off to college, you immediately started working, deciding that college wasn’t really for you. You worked a lot of odd jobs; mail carrier, retail worker, security guard and now you were a personal assistant at a company you actually really liked. It was good pay, good benefits, you even got your weekends free.

Working at a company meant company dinners. Normally, you’d decline. You’d tell your coworkers that you were tired or that you were spending time with your boyfriend and they’d take that excuse.

But the real reason you didn’t go was because your boyfriend was bat shit crazy.

Your hands waved around as you yelled back, “I’m not fucking anyone else, Namjoon! And I’m not trying to. Why the hell are you so paranoid?”

“How can I not be paranoid when my girlfriend is at a bar in a pair of jeans showing her ass?”

You ran a hand down your face, your laugh spiteful and exasperated. “I have a fat ass, Namjoon! What do you want me to do? Take it off and leave it on the dresser? Do I tell you to keep your dick at home?”

He was being completely unreasonable like always. You were a thicker girl. That would show regardless of what you wore. The fact that he almost blamed you for your body type and clothes as if they didn’t attract him in the first place was absolutely ridiculous. He could barely go 15 minutes without slapping it or telling you how sexy you were. It’s like he didn’t like you even existing outside of your apartment. Some irrational fear that you’re popping your coochie for other people. It was ridiculous.

He watched with rage filled eyes as you started walking around the room, removing your jewelry. He didn’t know why he was so upset. Just seeing you in that bar, laughing and with all those male coworkers around you.

It filled him with something more than jealousy.

Envy. Possessiveness.

You were his. No one else’s.

Honestly, seeing you so frustrated with him made his cock stir. The desire to force you back into submission was heavy on his shoulders and mind.

“Who was that guy you were talking to? I thought you didn’t date short guys.”

You were starting to get a headache. Tossing your earrings in the little dish on your vanity, you said, “his name’s Yoongi and I don’t want to date him. I’ve also never said I don’t date short guys. You’ve been my only boyfriend and it just so happens to be that you’re tall. Why are you putting words in my mouth?”

He could still remember how you laughed at whatever that guy said. Your hand pushing him because you had a tendency to hit people when you were laughing. Who the hell was this Yoongi guy to even be able to make you laugh? Namjoon should be the only one seeing you that joyous.

“It’s like you’re intentionally trying to piss me off. Do you get a kick out of making me angry?”

“If you’re pissed off at my body existing, that sounds like a you problem.” You went to your closet to start removing the bad jeans and your shirt.

“You should have known how I’d react.”

There it was. He was trying to flip it and blame you for his reaction.

Why did you even stay with him? He filled your days with unease. You weren’t the kind of person to let people control your actions. You were an adult. You’ve been handling yourself just fine. You knew deep down that you didn’t need him, the stress he brought.

But Namjoon was familiar. He was the only man you’ve been in a relationship with. He was all you knew. You couldn’t just let him go.

Liar. You could. You could pack up right now and leave him forever. Why haven’t you?

Pulling your night shirt over your head, you walked back out of the closet to see him sitting on the bed. He was manspread and staring at you with dark eyes. If you weren’t so peeved, you’d probably drop to your knees and give him a blowjob so good that it would knock him unconscious. “You know what, Namjoon? I’m so over you. When will you get it through your thick head that I’m not fucking anyone else and I don’t want to?!” You sighed. “In a minute, I won’t even want to fuck you anymore. Not while you’re acting like this.”

Just as you were about to turn around to walk to the bathroom, his hand wrapped around your wrist and yanked you down onto the bed. With a practiced quickness, he was hovering above you, his dragon like eyes staring holes into your face.

“You’re mine. Your pussy is mine. Don’t get mad at me because I don’t want you acting like you’re single.”

You tried to fight out of his hold but his huge body kept you down. Damn it, why did he have to start going to the gym? He was easier to overpower when he was still his lanky self. Now he’s beefed up and while you liked it, it really worked against you in these situations.

“How is me wearing jeans acting like I’m single? It’s not like I sucked anyone’s dick.”

His grin pissed you off even more.

“You probably wanted to. You always have been good at it.”

Fuck being on thin ice. He was in shark infested waters now.

You smirked back. “Yeah, it put your quick nutting ass to sleep everytime.”

His hand wrapped around your throat, not pressing hard enough to cut off your oxygen but enough so you could feel the pressure. You hated yourself for getting excited, pussy clenching. For all the times for your vagina to betray you, it had to be now?

“Take that back.”

“Make me. Bitch.”

His jaw clenched. “Oh. I’ll make you alright.”

That was all it took for him to lift off of you, stalking over to your bedside table. Squinting your eyes suspiciously, you tried to peek past his broad back. You only kept a few things in that drawer.

Shit.

The clink of those fuzzy blue handcuffs made both excitement and slight nervousness radiate down your body. You hardly used those since Namjoon didn’t have to do much to pin you. If he was getting them, that could only mean one thing.

“You son of a bitch!”

He had lifted the vibrator off your clit, once again denying you of your orgasm. That was number 8 and neither of you were backing down. Your brown skin was slick with sweat, as was your pussy in arousal. Your abused and overstimulated clit throbbed, begging for enough to push you over the edge but this asshole wasn’t having it.

While you were completely naked, he was still fully clothed. Something about that just got to you—the pure dominance in him still having clothes on was sexy as hell but you’d never tell him that. His own erection was painfully straining against his pants. He so badly wanted to just whip it out and fuck your gushing cunt until you were begging for him to stop. But that would be too easy. You didn’t deserve his cock nor any orgasms. Not until you said sorry.

“Apologize and I’ll let you cum.” His jaw tightened letting you know he was getting more and more irritated. Ha!

You glared at him, mentally wishing for him to burst into flames. Sadistic bastard. You’d never say it. It’s his fault for being paranoid. You weren’t about to apologize for his reaction. Your pride wouldn’t let you.

“N-never.”

He sighed before pressing the vibrator back against your clit. Your hips jerked up, hands pulling against your restraints as your orgasm rushed back to you.

This has been going on for almost an hour. Namjoon could see you were still holding strong and he hated it. He wanted you to break, wanted you to beg for his forgiveness, for you to go back to being his good girl. He didn’t understand why you couldn’t just be obedient.

Ah well. He liked putting you back in your place. He signed up for it when you two started dating anyway.

“Why do you have to be such a brat? Just say you’re sorry and we can move on.”

You were so close. So so close. Every nerve in your body was set alight with pleasure and absolute malice for your boyfriend. You were a brat? Why was he such a controlling piece of shit?

“Fuck you.” You gritted out.

He took the vibrator away again, your orgasm fading once more. You slumped back against the bed, chest heaving and stubbornness starting to fade.

Maybe you should just apologize. It’s not like you’d actually mean it. It would just stroke this sadistic motherfucker’s ego and make him feel like he has some power over you.

Turning off the vibrator, he tossed it to the side before moving to unbuckle his pants. The action itself was way sexier than it was. Was he finally about to fuck you? That would make you cum instantly.

No, he wouldn’t. He knew you came super easily from penetration. If you knew him like you think you did, you know he wasn’t giving up.

His hard cock sprung out of his pants. Your lust filled eyes locked on it. God, why did he have to be this way? You were already thirsty for him, you only wanted his cock. So why did he think you wanted to screw every man you came across?

He stroked his cock a few times, yet another action that shouldn’t be as sexy as it was.

Gripping the back of your thigh, he pushed it into your body, your other following out of instinct. He smirked at your movement and you wanted to kick him in his face.

Lining up with your hole, he began pushing inside. Your back arched at the wide intrusion, relief flooding you at finally having his cock stretch you.

But when you didn’t feel the rest of his cock inside, you lifted your head. It looked like he was struggling himself, breathing out a shaky breath at your tight walls. You were a brat but you had the best pussy he’s ever had.

“What the hell…..?”

He lifted his head to look at your desperate and confused face. Hook, line and sinker. You were too easy.

“You don’t deserve my whole cock. If you don’t want to apologize, I’m not gonna give it to you.”

“So you’re just gonna give me the tip?! You bastard!” You tried to kick your legs but he held them in place.

Best believe, he wanted nothing more than to bury his cock in your slick walls and pound you through the mattress but he had a lesson to teach. You couldn’t keep getting away with this behavior.

A few small thrusts and he already felt ready to bust.

You bucked your hips, trying to get him to sink deeper but he backed up to keep just the tip inside of you.

“You ass! What the hell is your problem?”

“Apologize. Last chance.”

Your blood boiled in your veins. You wanted to cum so badly but you refused to say you were sorry. You’ve had enough of this ass pushing you around.

But……………

His head hung low as he thrusted a few more times, one stroke going just a little bit deeper and brushing past your sweet spot.

Fuck this!

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry okay?”

That grin was back. Easy work.

He adjusted himself before ramming his entire cock into your walls. His fingers dug into your thighs hard enough to bruise.

“See? That wasn’t so hard now was it?”

You didn’t even have the nerve to retort. All you could focus on was the feeling of his cock. Your orgasm was right there once again and you were confident you’d finally reach it.

A sudden pain to your breast caused your back to arch. You lifted your head just as it happened again.

Namjoon twisted your nipple between his fingers, the sharp pain only adding to the thick haze of pleasure.

“See how good it feels when you just do what I say? Say you’re sorry again.”

He twisted your nipple again, your mouth opening to scream out an, “Sorry! I’m so sorry!!”

“Good girl.”

Picking up the vibrator again, he clicked it to its highest setting before pressing it back on your clit, his hips still delivering deep strokes to your fluttering walls.

Your throat ached from the Bloody Mary scream you let out. Tears pricked at your waterline, your chest feeling tight as the most powerful orgasm you’ve ever had slammed into you.

Your legs kicked sporadically, hips bucking as you humped against the toy. Black dots danced in front of your vision as you rode out the almost endless orgasm. The first one didn’t even have a chance to come down before you were floating into the next one.

Namjoon cursed as you squeezed him impossibly tight, little droplets of liquid hitting his pelvis.

The hand that wasn’t holding the toy went to wrap around your throat, shaking you a little and forcing you to focus on him.

“Whose pussy is this?” He needed to hear you say it.

Your mouth dropped open but no words came out. Tears streaked down your face, your mascara getting all messed up.

You were perfection to him. His perfect little toy.

His fingers pushed down over your pulse point before he asked you again, “I asked you a question.” He growled. The headboard was crashing into the wall, leaving an indent you’d complain about tomorrow but he didn’t care. He’d just fuck that out of you too.

“Yours! It’s yours! I’m sorry!” You slurred, yet another orgasm coursing through you, your toes curling hard enough to crack. You didn’t even think you were still in your body. Your mind was somewhere else. That let you know that he had effectively fucked you dumb.

“That’s right. It’s mine. Don’t you forget it. Now thank me for my cock.” He pressed the toy harder on your clit, thrusts speeding up. If not for the handcuffs and his hold on your throat, you would have been slammed through the wall.

“T-thank you, thank you, thank you! Fuhhhhhhhhh—uuuuccckkkk….”

With one last vice like squeeze of your walls, Namjoon pulled out of you, releasing your neck to pump his cock over your stomach. Hot splashes of his release painted your brown skin, your eyes falling shut at the sensation.

Your legs fell from their folded position, your body squirming away from the vibrator. Namjoon clicked it off before dropping it to the ground with a loud thud.

Both of your chests heaved from exertion, your body still twitching in the aftershocks. You felt ready to pass out.

Namjoon stared down at you—your belly covered in his cum and your skin already darkening just a little from his grip on you.

You couldn’t see his smirk but it was there.

You were his. And it would stay that way.

#bts #bts smut #bts x black reader #namjoon smut #askberryhobii

102 notes · View notes

coffeedepressionsoup · 6 months

Text

Somebody Does Love | MYG - They Meet Again

Pairing - Yoongi x F!reader

Summary - "What is grief, if not love persevering?" Two people are in love but that is not enough because sometimes loving requires courage. This is the one where fate plays games and Sammy plays Cupid. Part 3 of Somebody Does Love.

Series Masterlist

Genre - fluff, strangers to lovers, eventual smut and angst

Word count - 2.2k

Warnings - lil swearing, SMOKING IS INJURIOUS TO HEALTH! nothing else I can think of

Ratings - 13+

Taglist: @majiiisstuff @starlighttaek8 @yoongrace @proudnoona

A/N - I have been in some of the worst times folks. Slipped back into depression. Lost people. Learnt lessons. Still very much in love with our honey boy though. The day I wrote this was one of the very bad days and I am typing this note through my hazy glasses because of these bloody tears. Excuse the typos, and grammar errors. Do not have the energy to proofread. Please be kind. Do like, comment and reblog. Thank you! Here goes nothing.

What was he thinking? Just how drunk was he? Why is he considering going? It’s just a jacket. He has dozens of those. Yoongi nervously bounced his legs as the rest of his body sat very still on the dressing room chair. Two different brushes - no one brush and a sponge - were being lightly tapped against his face now and a pair of hands were insistently tugging at his half-wet hair trying to style it. This was the last look for a magazine cover shoot. Even as he stared straight into the mirror, he thought back to a small cat and their rescuer.

The next hour and forty minutes passed agonisingly slow. As soon as the director announced wrap, Yoongi was up and halfway out of the satin shirt he was in. By the time he reached the dressing room, he discarded it completely. Soojin, his manager, rushed in after him and asked as he shut the door, “You are really going?”

Yoongi placed the rings and earrings he had taken off on Soojin’s extended hands and nodded as he put his own t-shirt on.

“It is too public, Yoongi-ah…” the older gentleman tried to reason one last time as he saw the other scrub his face hastily off with a few makeup removal wipes.

“How will they know?” the rapper turned around, now having completed his outfit with a cap, a sunglass and a mask.

“They know you by the shape of your head and the size of your shoulder. You really want to risk it?”

“I am not risking anything. You are driving me there,” Yoongi said with a smirk evident in his tone.

Soojin was left looking at the open door of the dressing room that now had the stylist and a couple of other members of the crew walk in. He handed over the jewellery he was holding from earlier, bid goodbye and jogged off to his car.

---------------------------------------------------------

You were sat at the cafe sipping on your second latte of the evening. Tapping on your screen to check the time, you let out a yawn. 6:53. Well, maybe you could excuse an hour’s delay. Weekend traffic. Maybe he overslept? As much as you were grateful to Yong-ho, you were also hoping to see his face today. There are not many things you know about him. He has a deep, soothing voice. He smells nice. He is rich enough to casually wear designer jackets. He is kind, helpful and polite. Thoughtful. He is also quite patient. And his eyes. His eyes were beautiful. Solemn but with a shine that could make someone comfortable.

Comfortable. Why did a stranger you met for half an hour register as comfortable to you? Your phone chimed. A message from Sammy. - Done yet? “Still waiting” - Wtf

- I don’t think he will show up then - I told you it’s a perfect fit for me

- Let me keep it

You chuckled at the series of messages.

“I will wait till 7:30”

- Then meet me directly at Hajoon’s place

- I will put out food for Ash

“Thanks, man. See ya soon” You closed the chat and smiled down at your wallpaper. Ash fast asleep on Woolfie’s back. The kitten and the dog had gotten along exceptionally well. After Woolfie peed on the kitchen floor when baby Ash hissed at him from Sammy’s lap on the first night, there had been no major issues. Ash had tried once to drink from the dog’s bowl the next day and had fallen into it. You fetched her out and dried her up with a hand towel, and the rest of it, Woolfie had licked clean. That night was the first time they napped together.

---------------------------------------------------------

Yoongi sat on the floor near the sofa where Yijeong and Hoseok were playing FC24. Hoseok was leading by 3 goals. Yijeong almost threw his controller at him in frustration, as the rest of the small group around them chuckled and watched the game progress.

Yoongi also stared at the screen but his mind wandered far away from the game and his friends. His hands absent-mindedly tugged at the inseam of his jeans.

As Soojin pulled up in front of the cafe earlier that evening, he could feel the sweat drip down his spine inside the air-conditioned car. He stared for a few seconds at the road in front of the car before turning his head towards the cafe you had agreed to meet at. As if it was an attempt to allow himself to catch a breath and just appear cool, just in his own head. A failed attempt at that.

Even though he turned to look at the cafe from his car seat, he had not expected you to sit right at the window from where he was parked not even 4 whole metres away. Thankfully you were facing sideways, staring at something inside the cafe that Yoongi could not see. If only you were to turn towards the window to your left, your line of vision would directly collide with the tinted window of Yoongi’s car.

Soojin coughed lightly from beside him. Yoongi only blinked a couple of times before he shut his slightly agape mouth and swallowed the breath that he didn’t know was stuck at his throat. He saw your face move down towards the table, presumably where your phone was. Phone. Why didn’t he exchange numbers back then? He knows why. Well, he could have given Soojin’s number at least. They could arrange for a more discreet pickup.

Fuck the pickup. Yoongi had half forgotten that this meeting was about picking up the jacket he had lent you to wrap the rescued kitten in. Sure, that was the reason he gave Soojin that morning when he said he had to make a stop after the shoot. But for the whole weekend, his head had been clouded with your face. And your cooing voice at the kitten. And your bright smile as you introduced yourself. And the smell of your perfume and/or your shampoo that encircled you.

Looking forward to Sunday evening, he felt a tightness in his chest and stomach that could have been mistaken for trapped gas. But he knew this feeling all too well. It was anticipation. He has felt it for years ahead of each show or some big live interviews. He would also feel it once for someone he used to date. But that is what is odd.

Sunday evening was not a date. Hell, he even felt creeped out by the fact that his feelings mirrored something akin to what he would feel like in anticipation of dates. Of course, it wasn’t even his intention to turn a simple transaction meeting into a date. But he had also not expected the sleepless nights that followed meeting you. And the half-written lyrics of a song on his phone. Nor did he expect the feeling of missing somebody he had exchanged less than 20 lines of dialogue with.

When you had asked how to return his jacket, he almost wanted to say that you didn’t need to. Luckily, even within the first second, his mind deemed it too off-handed of a statement to make and he saw the cafe logo in his peripheral vision. Before he started overthinking and/or asked to exchange numbers, he pointed at the cafe and said, “How about we meet at that cafe on Sunday evening?”

And there he was. Outside the cafe. On Sunday evening. Almost having a panic attack in the safe confines of his car.

He could walk out of the car and into the cafe. He could walk up to you and say hello. He could make small talk for a couple of minutes. He could take back his jacket and thank you politely. He could then walk back out.

He could. But he didn’t want to.

He did not want to make small talk with you. He wanted to know how you were doing. How your days have been. If you have spent the three nights just as sleeplessly. He also wanted to know how the kitten was doing. How the two of you were getting along. If you had any other pets. If yes, how many. If all of them were getting along. If the pets had another parent. He wanted to ask you so many things and he wanted to hear you say so much.

The cafe was not at its busiest. Even from where Yoongi was, he could see a few empty tables. He drew in a deep breath and placed his fingers lightly on the door, preparing to open it.

It was at that very moment that you turned to your left, looking out of the cafe through the window you were sitting next to. You glanced down momentarily at what presumably again was your phone and looked back out the window. 6:18. You looked at people milling around the street outside the cafe.

But to Yoongi, you were looking right at where he was. The concept of his tinted glass windows disappeared from his comprehension as he (seemingly) held your gaze and fluttered one of his hands over Soojin’s arm, urging him to drive off. Alert as ever, the elder man started driving promptly. Yoongi “held” your gaze for as long as he could till he bumped his head against the car window, closing his eyes, inhaling and exhaling in quick succession trying to even his breathing.

He slowly slumped back down against the passenger seat of the car and unclenched the hand that he did not realise until now was clamping down on one of his knees. He stared ahead at the Sunday evening Seoul traffic, shivering a little from feeling some of his sweat dry up. Soojin turned to him at the next red light and said, “Don’t worry, Joon will understand.”

Nothing more was said in the whole car ride up to his friend’s place. Soojin dropped him off and went back to drop the car off at Yoongi’s building before heading to his own place. Yoongi had planned to drive back home with Hobi. They lived in the same building after all.

Joon will understand. Joon will understand?Joon will not even know that the jacket he gifted his hyung last year was missing unless Yoongi told him so.

He wasn’t thinking about Joon. Nor was he thinking about the jacket. Of course, he wasn’t.

He was thinking about your slightly impatient gaze. You bun sitting lightly at the nape of your neck. Your hands that you briefly rested your face on. Your face. You. He was thinking about you. Like he had for more than than the past two days.

He was thinking about where you were now. What you were doing. What you were thinking. What you decided to do with the jacket. If you threw it at a random trash or kept it with you. If you were cursing him. If you were complaining about him to a friend.

He felt a cramp in his stomach that is usually indicative of nervous diarrhoea. He felt like a dick. For having stood you up, yes. But he was also disappointed at having chickened out. Maybe if he had not waited in his car at all, it would have gone over smoothly. Maybe if you hadn’t looked out at him (his general direction) he would not have freaked out. He tried to tell himself that it was too crowded. He was too tired. And not a coward because of his stupid, random, huge ass crush on Y/N Y/LN. Someone he only met for half an hour. And spent almost all of it watching her bond with a stray kitten by her side.

He looked up as he felt a slight kick on his back. He realised he was staring at a static screen and that his friends had all gathered over the pizzas that had now arrived. He had not noticed when even though he was the closest to the door. He got up and was making his way towards the rest of the group when the doorbell rang.

Yoongi stopped and turned around. He was the closest to the door after all. None of the others seemed to bother reacting to it anyway. He walked to the door and froze as he saw the person on the ring machine. He knew he was supposed to press a single button to unlock the door. He knew which button it was. But his head and his hands refused to cooperate. He stood frozen for a couple of seconds, staring at the screen in front of him, until the bell rang again.

Yoongi thought he heard this ring in a more muffled way as if it was coming from far away.

It wasn’t until the third ring that someone else left the group, half a slice of pizza stuffed in his mouth and half in his hand walked towards the door, that Yoongi could hear everything normally again.

“Must be Y/N,” Hajoon called out, patting Yoongi on the back, and reaching over his shoulder to open the door.

After the small beep, you walked in, almost bumping into someone’s chest.

#min yoongi #bts fic #bts suga #min yoongi x reader #suga #yoongi #yoongi fic #bts x reader

49 notes · View notes

hoseoks-reader · 14 days

Text

Tiny Dancer, Part 1. [JUNG HOSEOK]

Falling With You AU: Jung Hoseok x Y/N

Summary: Y/N has been a dancer for as long as she can remember. She started small and eventually built a reasonable following through her YouTube channel, and around 5 years ago she was contacted by the Dreamz label, that presented her with a very appealing contract. It so happened this label was a direct rival of Big Hit… which had BTS signed. Which happened to be the band where her boyfriend, Minho, performed as a back-up dancer.

She didn’t know much about those seven boys other than the fact she became good friends with Yoongi at a party last week, and they had incredible dancers. Incredible dancers.

NOTE: This is a semi love triangle kind of story. There's gonna be some angst, fluff and eventually smut (always with a warning). I hope you enjoy! You might recognize Minho from Skz, in here he's purely a dancer. Some other characters may show up during the series but it’s not worth mentioning right now. The first chapter might be kinda boring but bear with me, I have to introduce the story first ahah. I’ll be using referential pictures for outfits, makeup and such, as well as text messages. We switch povs sometimes, but I’ll always mention it.

Part 1 (15.04.2024) Don't copy or repost on other accounts. Y/N - your name Trigger warnings: loneliness, kissing that doesn’t really end in anything sexual it’s very brief.

Wordcount 2,2k

Y/N: 1 more chapter!

Is what you kept repeating to yourself for the last hour while you slipped through the book’s pages. You had to be up at 6am the following day and the hours of sleep you’ll be able to get are only decreasing but you really need to know what happens next.

You enjoyed reading. Not as much as dancing and singing, but it held a close third place in your heart. When it came to reading thrillers, well, anyone should be scared to take the book out of your hands for they might become the subject of the next Holly Jackson book. You forced yourself to close the book and looked at the time. 2am. Well, shit. Not gonna get much sleep either way might as well read one more chapter- until your phone interrupted your thought.

She hit her head with the book and put it in her nightstand. She stared at the picture of her and her dad and smiled to herself.

Y/N: You’re not here to tell me to turn the damn light off and sleep like before. Someone’s still trying to take care of me though, don’t you worry.

She tucked herself in and turned off the light. Before she knew it, the alarm would go off.

[THE FOLLOWING DAY]

You were making a toast while you scrolled through the most recent news. You took a sip of your coffee and when you were about to put your phone down it started ringing.

Y/N: Hello. Hyejin: Y/N! Good morning honey how are you? Ready for the day? It’s gonna be a long one. Y/N: Manager! I’m great (she was lying, she had maybe 4 total hours of sleep on her), excited and energized (yet another lie y/n). Hyejin: Awesome! See you in 30!

In 30- You looked at the time while you let out a barely audible “bye” and you felt the first bit of energy of that morning. You gulped the rest of your coffee and took your toast to go as you looked for your car keys. While you headed down your building and your thoughts were filled with “What if I didn’t love my job”.

You got into the car and started it in a rush. No, for real, what if you didn’t love your job and had to seat in front of a computer for the next 8h after this miserable night of sleep. You shook your head, and you felt the coffee kick in.

Y/N: Let’s go.

[TIME SKIP]

You arrived at the first part of your day: the photoshoot. You thanked whoever presented you with hair and make up because even you were afraid to look at yourself in the mirror after the rush to get here.

Your new single was very close to coming out and you had to prepare a bunch of things today. There was the photoshoot, the interview, the practice for the upcoming shows, and… Yoongi’s birthday. Oh my god. You quickly grabbed your phone.

You sighted while sending Minho a message to let him know of the plans for tonight and put down your phone giving the makeup artist a better access to your face. You praised yourself for the mental recap because you knew for sure you wouldn’t remember during the rest of the day given how tired you are and how much more tired you were about to become.

[OUTFIT AND MAKEUP]

Banger, you thought. You left the dressing room after a good second look at the mirror. You walked towards your manager who was already talking with the photographer. Hyejin immediately expressed her joy with a smile.

Hyejin: You look incredible. Photographer: Ready? Y/N: As I’ll ever be.

[TIME SKIP]

After a good hour and a half passed by, you applauded everyone and excused yourself to use the bathroom. You took the opportunity to reply to your boyfriend’s message and check your makeup. You looked at the time and saw you had had about 20 minutes until the interviewer got here. After that you had 2 hours before practice. That was enough time to eat and maybe get a power nap. You fixed your hair and left the bathroom, heading towards the room where the interview would be held. You figured you might as well stay there already.

Your phone buzzed.

You were already sat by the time the interviewer arrived and she complimented you with a smile and a bow.

Interviewer: Thank you for meeting with me. Y/N: Thank you for wanting to meet with me! Interviewer: (she smiled) I’m going to be recording the interview on my phone. Do you have any questions first? Y/N: Not really. You can start whenever you’d like. Interviewer: Okay so let’s start simple. What’s the name of the new single and what can we expect from it? Y/N: Well, it’s called “Blissful.” I think the song actually translates the feeling itself. I’ve been gate keeping the lyrics for a couple of years now, but I’ve been working on them more throughout the last few months. It brings me right into the feeling I had in my transition from “amateur” to “professional” you could say. Interviewer: So it’s about your journey, your transition in the industry you would say? Y/N: Definitely. It encapsulates the feeling I had when I could finally say that this is my full-time job. Someone recognizing my capability. Interviewer: It seems like a major recognition for sure, especially considering that at the moment you’re the only solo artist under Dreamz. Does it ever get lonely? Seeing everyone in groups and being able to do all of the things you do but together? Y/N: Sometimes. But at the end of the day I’m grateful that I even got this chance. I have amazing friends, a very supportive boyfriend. I might work solo, but I know I can rely on others at any given minute. Interviewer: That’s amazing. So I’m guessing maybe you’ll give an exclusive party with everyone once this single finally turns into an album, right? Y/N: Well, I guess we’ll see.

[TIME SKIP]

You looked at the time, it’s only 4pm and you’re already as good as dead. You were still halfway through practice, you had Yoongi’s party later, before which you had to stop home first for a much-needed shower.

You looked at yourself on the mirror. You can do it. This is what you wanted. What dad wanted for you. He fought for it. You took a deep breath and endured the next couple of hours.

[AT BIG HIT, YOUR OUTFIT]

You entered the building, uneasy, with the “yeah I don’t belong here, and they know it” kind of feeling. Not that anyone was rude. But they were indeed her rival at some level. You talked with a woman that kindly approached you as you looked lost and directed you to the correct floor.

You had been here maybe twice? But always outside or at the entrance, mostly to wait for Minho. Now you were actually inside the elevator of the building, going god knows where. As the door was about to close a hand stopped it. You almost choked on your own saliva out of surprise.

The door slowly reopened, and two men were looking back you, slightly surprised as well. Park Jimin and Jung Hoseok. This is absolutely fine. It’s not like you’ve watched these two dance about a million times.

They both entered the elevator and noticed you had already pressed the button they were going to. As the doors close Jimin broke the awkward silence.

Jimin: Hi, Y/N, right? Y/N: Y-yes, sorry- (you stuttered a bit) Hoseok: Nice to finally meet you. I’m Hoseok, this is Jimin. Y/N: Yeah, I obviously know (you laughed nervously; why are you acting like this, you’re basically on the same level??). Jimin: Oh, flattered. Yoongi has talked a lot about you! We’re happy you could make it. Hoseok: Yeah, and your work is amazing.

You were pretty sure you should pinch yourself. 6 years ago you were practicing Blood Sweat and Tears in your dad’s living room and now Park Jimin and Jung Hoseok are happy to meet you? You had to snap out of it before you scared them.

Y/N: That means a lot coming from you guys thank you.

They smiled at you and before you knew it you were already leaving the elevator. At a distance you saw your boyfriend talking to Yoongi and what appeared to be a very loud Seokjin (as expected, the soul of the party). Minho quickly spotted you and smiled.

Minho: Hey (he opened his arms to hug you), how are you? (he pecked your lips) Y/N: Tiring, but good. Yours? Minho: Same mostly. Y/N: (you gave him another kiss and turned to Yoongi) HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN! (he started smiling shyly and offered you a hug) Yoongi: Thank you, Y/N, it’s great to see you again!

You let go of him as you scanned the rest of the room to see who else was there but most of the guests had already entered the room where they had everything set. You looked at Minho and held his hand.

Y/N: Do we know were the good stuff is? Minho: (he smiled), This way.

The rest of the night passed by too quickly to be honest. You met a few people, including the rest of the BTS members, Namjoon’s girlfriend (well hasn’t he kept that one well hidden from everyone so far??), as well as Jimin’s and some other friends of Yoongi’s.

Everyone was extremely nice. Especially that band you’ve only seen much of on a screen.

Namjoon was incredibly smart. Seokjin was hilarious, he spent so much time showing you pictures of the fishes he caught that you found yourself agreeing to schedule a trip with him to go fishing. Yoongi was pretty busy, but you managed to talk to him for a bit. Jimin was also pretty busy with his own girlfriend, apparently, she arrived today from a 2-week trip. Can’t blame him for not letting her out of his sight, she’s stunning. Taehyung was a lot more talkative than what I thought he would be at the beginning of the night, you just had to pull the right strings in the conversation! Jungkook quickly joined us when we started talking about painting. And Hoseok, well. I think I talked to him the most, at least for an hour. His knowledge in dancing didn’t fail to amuse me and he’s a very interesting person. Very layered I would even say. He’s very joyful but can turn from goofy to serious at any moment. And he’s a great listener.

You were arriving home with your boyfriend who would stay with you for that night, and you felt both happy and sad. Well, you lied today in that interview, and it almost came to bite you back tonight. You didn’t have friends. At least not that many. You had your boyfriend. You had Yoongi, a complete miracle that probably only happened because you two were left alone and he started making small talk. Your old school friend who hasn’t called you back in over a month. Your grandparents were 3 hours away and your best friend… your dad, was no longer with you. And seeing all off Yoongi’s friends there to celebrate him… made you happy for your friend but you would be lying again if you said you weren’t also sad you didn’t have that.

You shrugged it off and looked at Minho.

Y/N: You brought everything? Minho: Yeah (he said, putting everything on top of your bed) Y/N: (you cursed yourself for what you’re about to say) You know, this could just stop if we just finally moved in… Minho: I know but- Y/N: Yes, you live close to Big Hit, you got a good deal for the rent, you’re sharing the flat with Hyuno, I know. I was just saying, I’m not looking for a fight, I’m just tired, I didn’t sleep much last night.

This has to be the 5th time you talk about this, but you don’t have it in you to continue pushing through, at least not tonight. You got into your pjs and laid in bed.

You were about to put your phone on the nightstand when it buzzed. A hundredth times.

You felt Minho cuddle you in a spoon as you replied to the guys all giggly.

Minho: What’s happening? Y/N: The guys said they enjoyed hanging out with me and added me to a group chat! Very nice of them. (you said, putting your phone on the nightstand for good this time) Minho: Hm-Hm- (he started kissing the back of your neck and shoulder)

You couldn’t feel much from how exhausted you were, your head still filled with those silly messages. You fell asleep smiling and when Minho noticed your eyes closed he gave up whatever he was trying to start and gave you one last kiss on your shoulder, turning away to sleep.

Thank you for reading! Part 2 coming soon! Check my blog for more fics! See you soon.

16 notes · View notes

jmdbjk · 1 year

Text

More Legos...

(if you must, Jimin...)

After obsessing over whether the camera was straight enough, or were the lights too bright, whether the distance he was from the camera was good (obsessive perfectionist) he finally gave us the big news that his album is coming in MARCH!

Here are my preliminary notes and thoughts on the upcoming and very anticipated PJM1:

Track 1: shook and light-headed

Track 2: shook and drooling

Track 3: shook and finally taking a breath

Track 4: shook and uwu-ing

Track 5: shook and drooling again

Track 6: shook and picking myself up off the floor

Track 7: shook and sobbing because it’s the last song.

But of course, in my delulu mind there will be 13 tracks but let’s not get greedy...

Prediction: Jimin’s next live will have him building the LEGO BTS Dynamite set...

Off-topic...look, Namjoon posted a recent pic of Jungkook on his Instagram stories:

Joon’s also deleted or archived all his Instagram posts except 13 that have to do with Indigo... WHAT’S UP WITH THAT???

Back to the main event: Jimin talked about straightening his teeth again. The best option for him is probably the Invisalign that you can remove when necessary. I wonder if the process is something he can be doing while he’s enlisted.

He laughed and said “what do we have to fight about?” when someone asked him if he and Tae still fight a lot. As he continued reading the comments he said “Marriage!... one day. I’m too busy right now to get married.” I don’t know if the comment was “marriage one day” or if “one day” was part of his own response. He spoke a little about Jin. It’s clear that Jimin looks up to Jin.

It was so cute when he was making fun of himself being so shy when he was recording Vibe with Taeyang.

My man with some plastic flowers he made with his own two hands:

Losing track of what day it is, having to figure out Valentine’s day is almost here... same babe, same...

I know some people sort of made a big deal over his comments about this. First of all, Jimin, no one said anything about White Day... second of all, he said “it’s fun” ...isn’t that enough to show that he acknowledges them? You guys with the hardcore ideas that certain things MUST be considered in a certain way ... GET OUT OF YOUR CLOSED BOX! He acknowledged they are special days that are fun. Why isn’t that enough?

Then he talks about showing us his moon tattoos and letting us know there will be an opportunity to do so...he’ll have a chance to show us. Because whipping off his shirt on a live would probably get him scolded worse than JK drinking while doing a live.

He also commented about Namjoon being “truly like a gift” in his songwriting skills.

Then mentions Suchwita...and gives us a spoiler:

Yoongi and Jimin drinking and talking about Jimin’s solo album... YES! PLEASE MAKE THIS HAPPEN UNIVERSE! DON’T TEASE ME AND THEN LEAVE ME SHATTERED IF IT DOES NOT HAPPEN!

You know... occasionally a comment that seems odd could very well hold a considerable amount of meaning:

Tears from working himself to the bone because of his passion to give his best to us... tears because of how moved he was from seeing all of us while performing... tears because when you are filled with fear and insecurity and see the outpouring of love... tears from the words he sees being said about him online... he says if he has to find a reason as to why (he’s not as emotional any more) he says it’s like as time has gone on, he’s not seen us in person, that his emotions have subsided. He is removed from personal appearances but still the fact they’ve achieved a certain level of success enables him to feel secure in his position and they can see we, Army, are not going to leave them. He’s also removed himself from social media.

He can be so unserious too... clocked out... hahahahaha... and that’s 12:30 a.m., 1:00 a.m.

When Unholy comes on he laughs, smirks, and he skips the song BECAUSE HE KNOWS ITS UNHOLY...(keeping it PG for Armys). We know Jimin was at work but now we know he continued watching JK’s live because he knows that Jungkook sung this.... okayyyyy.

We also had the pleasure of listening to Jimin hum/sing along to The Astronaut, Rush Hour, That That, Better Than This by Lauv, Safe Zone, Yet to Come, Closer, Empty Road by Taeyang, Wildflower, Telepathy, Euphoria (which he admitted he loves and he let it play twice and then continued to sing it), Filter to which he commented that he was really bummed out when he never got to perform this for us live and that HE MAY ONE DAY DO THAT ASDAFWTFOMFG!!!

Someone in comments said they needed Jimin to motivate them and that they hated themselves... those were serious words and Jimin paused to consider his response... he said “you should still know how to cherish and like yourself. I think it actually isn’t easy to accept this usually. I think you should know why you are thinking in that manner (you should figure out what is causing you to think that way) and I think I need to hear you out in order to say something to you (I need to know more about the situation in order to offer constructive advice). Even so, you only have yourself. I hope you don’t hate yourself too much.” Words from a man who has perhaps had his own dealings with this sort of thing.

He wrapped it up by saying he’ll talk about the making of PJM1 after it’s release for us to stay safe and stay well.

The thought occurred to me: is it just me or has the number of times that the idea of the members dating increased exponentially these last few months?

Namjoon flippantly(?) saying "kind of like a girlfriend for me" during Big Brain/Useless Knowledge TV Show. (What is the title of that show? I keep forgetting...)

Both Jimin and Jungkook teasing Armys who comment "let's date for a few seconds" while doing their live broadcasts.

And the big rumor of Tae’s that I won’t mention because people are irrational and I don’t have time for that.

Jimin even said there’s more comments about marriage these days than ever before. Beyond “Marry Me Yoongi,” the topic of marriage just seems to pop up more frequently.

Are they attempting to normalize Tannies dating? Just like they've normalized (sorta) showing more skin? and normalized their inevitable enlistment. Are they are making us take baby steps for everything?

Is this part of Chapter 2/more mature Bangtan agenda? Please feel free to discuss below...

#naked bangtan #dating bangtan #soldier bangtan #pjm1 is coming #like yourself/love yourself #not a big LEGO enthusiast #jimin watches JK lives while at work JUST LIKE ME #jimin on suchwita please

54 notes · View notes

mikrokoskooks · 10 months

Note

Hii could you write Namjoon with a high fever and vomiting and caretaker of your choice?

Sorry the request took so long but here it is :).

Sickie: Namjoon

Caretaker:Yoongi and slight Hoseok

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

From the moment Yoongi woke up this morning he knew there something was wrong with Namjoon. Now yes that may sound weird or slightly rude but the rapper had his reasons, You see Namjoon and Yoongi have known each other and have been roommates for ages. For so long in fact that they know each others sleeping positions.

So when Yoongi noticed his dongsaeng twisting and turning uncomfortably in his bed the night before, he knew something probably wasn't right as Namjoon sleeps still and spread out in the sheets. 'What could be up with him' he wonders, pulling the covers over his head to think before dozing back off.

*Beep beep beep*

namjoon's alarm goes off shocking the older man awake, he looks down at the time it's 7:30 everyone needs to be up and ready before eight or they'll be late to dance practice. He stretches and makes his way to the bathroom, he glances over at Namjoon's bed to see it empty, he must have woken up before the alarm so he's probably downstairs.

Or at least that's what Yoongi thought before he opened the bathroom to see Namjoon's pale figure hunched over the sink. "Joon? Are you okay?" Yoongi asks in concern gently placing a hand on his friend's shoulder. The sudden touch makes namjoon lurch forward causing him to spit a string of yellow bile into the sink.

The younger rapper wipes his mouth and points to the thermometer on the counter, "I think I'm sick" he mumbles in response. Yoongi grabs the small device and reads the temperature, "38.5 degrees. That's not good buddy.." Namjoon moans softly in agreement before letting out another mouthful of vomit.

Before yoongi can ask his next question the bathroom door suddenly swings open, it's Hoseok and he doesn't seem happy. "What are u guys doing up here we have to leave in 10 minutes and you're still not-" Namjoon bends over the sink again throwing up his dinner from last night. "Woah, Namjoon are you okay?" his tone instantly changes.

"Sorry Hobi, I think he's caught some kind of bug?" Yoongi states in all honesty he's not entirely sure what Namjoon's got but he knows it's not good. "Oh no my poor Joonie," Hoseok coos though his tone suddenly becomes a bit more serious "Do you think you'll be able to come to rehearsals and that today?"

" 'M really sorry but I don't think I can hyung, I really don't feel good at all," Namjoon says through a grimace. Hoseok nods and kisses the poorly boy on the top of his head "I'll go tell the others okay, Yoongi can u stay back and look after him?"

Yoongi smiles before answering "Sure I'll take care of him and I'll let the managers know we won't be there as well"

"Alright see you later then hyung " Hobi smiles back and feel better soon Joon!"

"Thanks, Hobi hyung"

Before the other boys leave for dance practice they come to the leader's room and give him goodbye hugs and squeezes, wishing for him to feel better soon and to not get sick anymore.

After they're gone Yoongi brings the sick man a cup of water and some pepto bismol, "Here you go, hopefully, this will calm your stomach down a bit" A small grin spreads across Namjoons face, "I love Pepto Bismol" he mutters. "I know u do silly, Yoongi chuckles, now drink up so u can stop puking every 5 minutes"

"I do not!" Namjoon protests his cheeks and ears lightning up with a tinge of red as he says so.

"Yeah? Well your ears and frankly your stomach says otherwise"

Namjoon laughs and rolls his eyes "Whatever"

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry I took so long to write this!! Please forgive me and I'm sorry if it wasn't worth the wait! 🙏🏾💜

#bts sickfic #bts emeto #sickfic #sick!namjoon #caretaker!hoseok #tw emeto ment #mentions of vomit #bts #sorry it took a while hehe

27 notes · View notes

stacywaters · 9 months

Text

Coffee and Violets (SUGA) CH8 - Soft Rain

(WARNING: Some angst stay positive y'all :])

(Your POV)

You stumbled out of bed, alarm blaring. A fuzzy light filtered through the blinds and into your messy apartment. After the last few days, normally you would've stayed home again. But the cafe was already closed yesterday while you were out with Yeongsun, and you can't keep it closed for much longer.

You figured it'd be good, get your mind off things. So you had breakfast, got dressed, and walked to the cafe.

The morning air was cold, morning dew fresh and your footsteps echoing through the empty streets. You sighed as you opened the door to the cafe. The flower shop next door wasn't open yet, and most people weren't out. The day had barely even started, but when you have to make everyone else's coffee you have to be up before them.

Because when you're busy saving everyone else, who is left to save you?

You drank your coffee black and bitter this morning. It seems silly, being so heartbroken from something that hardly even started. Maybe what you missed was just the excitement of something new and different. But old is okay. The usual is comfortable. The very reason you've stopped reaching out and messaging friends and meeting new people. Someone has to forget to respond first. Someone has to care less. Someone has to move on. And it's never you.

The glass panes reflect the empty cafe, but your imagination finds something else in them. The image of Yoongi and Minsoo together. Laughing together, being together. Why is it that you've never been on a date? Why has no one asked you? Maybe everyone else is just busy. Maybe there was an odd number of soulmates and you were left. Maybe plans don't always go according to plan and you just have to be happy for everyone else who is.

Ring! Ring!

You look up at the bell that just rang as someone walks into the cafe.

(Yoongi POV)

Hoseok barges into my room at 5:30.

"C'mon... It's too early..."

"No, Yoongi! You don't get to do this. You don't get to give up all hope and hide away from everyone. I'm not letting you go there again"

I sigh, "She loves someone else, Hoba. You saw them together. She's just a nice person who was kind to me once and I'm the fool to try and build something on such a small act"

"Then fall in love with someone else! At least get out of bed. Feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to make you feel any better, huh?"

As Hoseok leaves, I shrug the covers off and drag myself out of bed. He's right, and the shop needs us. I can't drop everything just because of a girl. Though I'd do it for her.

We arrive at the shop a while later. I start to set things up for the day.

"I'm gonna go grab us some coffee, 'kay?" Hoseok said.

I nodded in response, watching as he walks out the door and into the cafe. Her cafe.

Memories flash back of her and him,.. what was his name, Yeongsun? She seemed so shy with him, like he made her nervous. Was it because she liked him so much? Why can't she like me that much? Maybe it's because I do stuff like this. Dwell over those I hardly knew. She might as well be an angel, there's no way a girl like her would fall for someone like me. She deserves better.

"Good news!" Hoseok yells as he runs back into the cafe.

(Your POV)

You look up at the bell that just rang as someone walks into the cafe.

"Hi Y/N!" Hoseok calls as he walks over to the counter.

You start preparing his usual, "Hey"

"So... how'd the date go yesterday?" He asks.

You groan, "Ugh.. terrible. It- Here's the thing, it wasn't even supposed to be a date!"

"What?" He asks, leaning forward. You guys had your fair share of gossip, so this was nothing new.

"Yeah! We used to be neighbors, so he just came to drop something off from my mom. He suggested we go out and have lunch together, so I agreed. Then he was like, flirting the whole time?"

"No..."

"Yes. And it was only supposed to be lunch, but he was dragging me around to all these other places and would keep telling people we're dating"

"Gee, I'm sorry Y/N! That's awful. What did you end up doing?"

"I told him he was too much, he insulted me a bit, I walked away and cried at my apartment" You chuckled bitterly, "but it's fine. Gotta keep the shop runnin', am I right?"

He nods, "Yeah, that's what I had to tell Yoongi this morning"

You focus in at the sound of his name, "Yoongi? What about him?"

"Oh, he..." Hoseok fumbles.

"He was here a few days back with Minsoo... did they fight and break up or something?"

"No, they weren't actually dating either," He assures, "He's never been good friends with Minsoo, it's just that she's so persistant, y'know?"

"Ah..." You mumble, deep in thought.

"I think you might want to see Yoongi, I feel like there was some confusion?" He questions.

"y-yeah! Do you know if he's free later?"

"Oh, he's free right now"

(Yoongi POV)

"Good news!" Hoseok yells as he runs into the cafe.

"What?"

"She can tell you herself!" He says as Y/N shyly walks in behind him, two coffees in her hands.

She hands me one, "Can uh, can we um.."

"Let's go in the back" I suggest.

She follows behind. We sit next to each other, avoiding eye contact.

"So," She starts, "You aren't dating Minsoo?"

"NO! No, god no. She is.."

"Yeah, that's probably for the best" She laughs. I smile at her.

"But uh, you were with-"

"No, I'm not with Yeongsun. That was a mistake"

"Oh" I look down, trying to hide my grin, "w-what happened? If you don't mind me asking,"

She sighs, "He's just a neighbor, it wasn't even supposed to be a date. He just suggested it as lunch, since I thought we were friends"

She told the rest of the story as we drank our drinks.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. That sounds really upsetting"

"Yeah, I just-" She pauses to look at the rain that started pouring out the window, "I don't know why relationships have to be so hard. I feel like..."

"like you distance yourself from people, and the second you meet someone new you become attached?" I finish before I can even think about the truth I was spilling.

She looks at me, a faint smile growing on her face, "yeah"

"I know how that feels"

We stay quiet for a few seconds. Or minutes. Or however long. We drank our coffee, looking out the window at the stormy day outside.

"listen, Yoongi, I-" She stops to look down at her watch, "Shoot! I gotta go! The cafe opens in just a few minutes!" She quickly grabs her coat and begins rushing out of the room.

"Wait-" I call out. She turns around, "Uh, I..." Is now really the time to tell her how I feel? Just because she doesn't love him doesn't mean she likes me. I don't want to get the signals wrong again, "Let me walk you back"

"Yoongi, I'm just going next door"

I smile at my name in her mouth, "Well, yeah. But it's raining"

9 notes · View notes

threeletterslife · 2 years

Text

11 | Legends of Darlaria

⨰ summary: You wake up amidst a war with no recollection of your past. Faced with suspicion and distrust, you struggle to assimilate into a foreign nation—otherwise known as your home. But on your enlightening journey to search for your identity, you come face to face with the General of the Army.

⨰ pairing/rating: yoongi x reader & jungkook x reader | PG-15

⨰ genre: 70% angst, 30% fluff | war!au & magic!au

⨰ warnings: profanity, death of minor characters, loss of limbs, description of gore

⨰ wordcount: 13.9k

⨰ join the taglist! (pm/send in an ask/reply/reblog)

⨰ previous | series m.list | next

⧖⧗Circa Emerald⧗⧖

Dear Nayoon,

I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you back your book before you left, and I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you when you probably wanted me to be. I’m sorry everything has happened the way it did, and I’m sorry that I couldn’t do anything about it. For Sooht’s sake, Nayoon, I’m so fucking sorry. I hope you’re doing well in Elu! Take care of yourself, and don’t spend too much time worrying about us. We’ll be fine. (But I’ll be spending time worrying about you because I know you and you’re going to want to do whatever you can to help us officers even though you’re supposed to be resting!)

I imagine the food there is great. Is it as hot in Elu as it is in Alder? Oh no, I’ve defaulted to talking about tedious things. (As you can tell, I’m not very used to writing letters.) I’m sorry. I’ll try again:

I’m sorry I couldn’t give you back your book before you left. (Still a little boring, but I promise, it’ll get better.) But I will tell you that I’ve been enjoying the stories. My favorite one so far has been “A Tiger’s Tears.” It’s beautiful. The illustrations, the motifs, the story. I can feel the love and the pain through the pages! And for Sooht’s sake, it’s heart-wrenching to even think about—what the tiger did for the girl after all that’s happened… I’ve been saving the stories of how the Solarians met the other elements for particularly special days. I’m not sure when these special days will come, but I swear I’ll get there!

But with that said, I have to get down to business. Major Ahn’s going to be delivering this letter to you himself (he immediately volunteered), and there’s definitely a reason for that. The General wanted me to keep you updated on what’s been happening in the officer meetings. Most importantly, the new code:

Orchard.

Interesting, isn’t it? I’m still not sure what to think of it, Nayoon. But it sure caused some confusion in the central tent. You should’ve been there to see it. Captain Goe was drinking so much that we all thought he was going to explode from all the liquor. But I guess we can’t blame him. It’s getting harder and harder to be patient. We’ve been at low morale here in the tent. With you gone, it’s difficult to come up with new ideas and theories. I’m afraid some of the officers are wanting to give up.

What do you think the codes even mean? You always have an answer. We’ll be waiting. And I’ll especially be waiting for you to come back.

Sincerely, Y/N

⨰⨰⨰

Dear Y/N,

Don’t worry about me! I’m trying to get some rest so that I can get back to the camp as quickly as possible. Don’t forget about me! And keep the letters coming! (What a nice touch, by the way. When you told me we’d keep in contact, I didn’t think you’d start sending me letters!)

To answer the questions that you proclaimed as tedious—they aren’t!:

The food here is delicious. Everything you can dream of! I’m particularly fond of the tofu stews, but the cold noodles are competing for that first spot! As for the weather—yes, it’s incredibly hot. I’m always in bed, unmoving, but I can still feel the sweat rolling down the back of my neck. It’s mildly uncomfortable, but it’s nothing I can’t handle!

And don’t worry about the book. You can keep it while I’m here in Elu. Perfect timing, wasn’t it? “A Tiger’s Tears” is a sad one, I’ll say, and I’m glad you felt so much while reading it. Take your time reading the other tales. Some of them take a few days to digest, but I’ll be happy to discuss them when you’re finished!

Major Ahn delivered your letter to me today and also offered me his wife’s silk scarf as a parting gift. It’s the scarf that he’s been keeping for years… you know, after her death. A scarf that symbolizes care and healing—or that’s what he says. I didn’t want him to worry too much, so I had to reject the offer. He needs the scarf more than I do. But I imagine that since he’s down one captain, it must be taking a toll on him—all that extra workload! I feel like a burden sometimes, sitting here, unable to do anything.

But “orchard” is quite an interesting code, isn’t it? (That was my attempt at a suave topic change.) Ever since “Kwang,” things have been muddled. I don’t know if any of my current theories are viable—they’re desperate and far reaches. I’ve been trying hard to take my mind off of things. So please forgive me if my ramblings don’t help as I suspect they won’t.

The Darlaeans will use their jewels to usurp, in nineteen days? circas? years? the General with their own General—General Kwang—leading them in Circa Opal… I’ve been configuring this in my head for days, but as I’m writing this letter, I’m still unsure where “orchard” will fit. It’s a flawed theory, anyway. The Darlaeans haven’t revealed who their General is for years. (Can you believe the disrespect? They always sign off their letters with a simple, The General. As if their General is the only General in this war.) This whole theory is a wild leap of faith. I mean, that’s even if Kwang is the surname of the General of the Darlaean Army. But the Solarian palace does have a small orchard… yet how would the Darlaeans know that? Or are their spies so spread out that they know every little thing about us? But if they have found out we have a small orchard on our palace grounds, then how come they haven’t attacked it yet? Is the way I’m going about this even correct?

I’m just as confused as you are, Y/N.

But I won’t give up! Please, relay my rambles to the other officers. I hope it helps—even just a little bit. Let me know what they think.

I don’t want you to worry about me, Y/N. I’m doing quite well. There’s nothing I can’t learn—nothing that anybody can’t learn. I’ll be fine. But I’ll be waiting as well. Hopefully, we will see each other soon.

Most Sincerely, Nayoon

Postscript: I apologize for my barely legible handwriting. I’m just in the process of learning to write with my left hand!

⨰⨰⨰

Dear Nayoon,

To be quite honest, I stole the letter idea from Hana. You might know her as Soldier Baek. But she’s been comforting me these days. I don’t know what it is about summer that’s been keeping me in a melancholy mood. The General was right, however. Summer is a bloodbath. But for Sooht’s sake, enough with the depressing things! As I was saying, Hana’s been getting letters from her lover back home (exciting)! And seeing how happy these letters seemed to make her, I thought, why not try it with Nayoon, too? So here I am, writing yet another letter to you. I think I’m getting the hang of this now, but it’s hard not to write down all of my thoughts. (I don’t want you to read ten pages of my incessant rambling!)

I’m immensely glad that Elu has been treating you well. You deserve a break, anyway. You called me a hard worker, but I really think that applies to you. I hope the weather cools down so you can be just a little less uncomfortable.

Major Ahn came to visit me today. (Sorry for the awkward topic change. I didn’t know how else to begin.) But I thought I should tell you. He says he wrote a letter for you too, and he wants to deliver it along with my supposed officer meeting updates. I think the other officers think the letters I’ve been sending you are about pure business. They underestimated our friendship!

And before you ask, Major Ahn’s doing fine. Well, his stubble is sort of overgrown, but he doesn’t have dark circles under his eyes anymore, so I think that’s an improvement. Your absence has affected the fourth sector. Major Ahn’s been pushing a lot of the work on Captain Goe, and he’s been drinking now more than ever. We’re all slightly concerned. Maybe I’ll talk to him about it. I don’t know. But yes… just wanted to update you about your sector’s doings—although I now realize that Major Ahn might be doing a better job of that in his letter than mine.

Moving on! Your theory was actually taken pretty well by everyone in the central tent. I explained your sequence of thought, and not a lot of officers disagreed. Though, we are a little confused about the Darlaean General’s identity. It seems that they know so much about us, but we know so little about them. A little scary, if you ask me. Anyway, we came to the conclusion after much discussion (and bickering) that we might just have to let the codes go. We’re not giving up, per se. But I think at this point, we’ve all realized that it’s a little pointless. If the code isn’t for a spy, then who could it be for? Certainly not for us because their codes are helping us win. The General and the Lieutenant decided that it would be in our best interest to stop wasting our breath on it. We’ll keep track of the future codes, of course, but I don’t think we’ll spend the majority of these officer meetings discussing their significance anymore. Your theory still stands, however. We’ll be keeping track of the next 19 circas—and years, though that’ll take longer. We’ll be preparing for whatever they’re preparing. I hope you’re not too disappointed that we’re letting this go. Because somewhere inside me, I am, too.

I haven’t been able to read your book these days, but I swear I’ll get to it. I’ll write to you soon.

Sincerely, Y/N

Postscript: Your handwriting was and still is beautiful!

⨰⨰⨰

Dear Im Nayoon,

I’m sorry. It’s all my fault. It’s my fault that you’ve lost your arm. And it’s my fault that you’re wasting away in Elu’s hospital. I shouldn’t have assigned you to the righter-most fourth sector battle. I should’ve known the brunt of the attack would come from there. I should’ve been more careful. I should’ve listened.

This is humiliating. I would beg for your forgiveness, but I don’t want you to think I am a worthless man and an even more worthless major. But I have failed my duty, and I cannot apologize enough for it.

You rejected the scarf, but I hope you accept this letter.

It’s been hard. I’m guilty, I know. There’s a gaping space in the officer meetings that no one ever talks about, but I can feel it. Captain Goe’s been drinking a lot. He doesn’t like to say it, but he misses you.

He likes to joke that I’m acting as if you’ve died. But it’s the guilt. It’s eating me alive, and I can’t do anything about it. I barred my own daughter from going to war to spare her life, but somehow, I’ve still lost more than I bargained for. A selfish part of me doesn’t want you to come back. The Darlaeans would prey on you on the battlefield if you were to lead with one arm. You’re already the captain. It would place a larger target on your back.

I know I’m a horrible father. But please, don’t make me a horrible major. As I am writing this letter, I beg of you, do not come back. My daughter lives just west of the palace. Please, invite yourself into my humble abode and forget about serving me, the General and the nation.

I wouldn’t be able to stand it if you died because of me. Ahn Donghoon

⨰⨰⨰

Dear Major Ahn,

It is not your fault. I want to emphasize that my pain was caused by nobody except for the Darlaeans. And nothing they do you can take responsibility for. With that said, I am doing well in Elu, and I am resting to come back to fight. I will not give up on my duty as your captain and as a soldier for the General. I may not have one arm, but I am still loyal to Solaria, and I will do everything in my power to help us win the war. I have not lost my head, nor have I lost my passion. I am still the same me, and you can expect me to come back by Circa Peridot.

I did, however, visit your daughter. Gaeul is doing well and has married a kind man in Elu. She is not ready to speak to you yet, but she was welcoming of the idea that you sent me to her. I know you were not present in your daughter’s life after your wife passed away, and I’m sorry you had to sacrifice your relations with your family to be in the war. It is a hardship that I cannot understand, so I respect you for your decision. I have always respected you, Major. Nothing you do can make me lose that respect.

I will be coming back, sir.

I’ll see you in three circas.

Your loyal captain, Im Nayoon

⨰⨰⨰

Dear Y/N,

It’s been a little hectic. Major Ahn’s letter made me think a lot: what I want out of life, what I don’t want, if I’m okay with death, if I’m okay with taking risks for my nation at the cost of my own life… It was a lot.

I know we’ve been avoiding talking about it, but the loss of my right arm has been affecting me both mentally and physically. It’s just hard to do things now. I’ve grown up mostly independent, but these days, everything is done for me. Nurses coo at me. They offer to feed me. Dress me. Sponge me down. I despise being coddled. (And I try not to use the word ‘despise,’ but there isn’t another word that can express how I feel right now.) I know they’re doing this because they feel bad, and they honor me for fighting for Solaria, but I don’t want pity. People stare at me now. Not because I am a young captain but because I don’t look like the others. I don’t want to darken the mood, but this is just how I’ve been feeling, and if I can’t write this down somewhere, I think I might just explode.

I thought about giving up. A lot more than I’d like to admit. I don’t want to be a target on the battlefield. I don’t want to feel the pain again. I didn’t think I was going to make it out alive, Y/N. With the blood gushing out and the bone showing and the red, twitching muscles… I thought I was going to die. And for a moment, I wanted it to happen. I fear that I’m going to be useless. That I’ll always be a step behind. I won’t be able to do so many attack formations, and I’ll have to relearn how to do everything with my left hand. I fear so many things. It’s almost embarrassing to admit.

I don’t want to die, Y/N. I don’t like the unknown. I despise the fact that we have no answers about death. And I can’t succumb to something that I can’t understand. I’m not ready to die.

The codes were the only thing keeping me sane. I worked so hard to crack it, Y/N. But I also suppose it’s time to move on.

I’m sorry. This has been so depressing.

In times like this, I try to think of Haneul. She’s faced so many hardships, but her story also makes me realize that time can heal. So here I am again, waiting for this time to pass. There are so many smudges on my letters—an imperfection that both you and I have been ignoring. It frustrates me every time that I accidentally drag my hand across what I’ve already written. It’s almost infuriating. And sometimes, I fear that I might lose my connection with air.

I’ve been so agitated these days. I’ve never been like this for so long, and it’s just not me. I’m scared, Y/N. I promised Major Ahn that I’ll be back by Circa Peridot, but that’s if I can handle everything that’s been boiling inside of me. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be ranting. I’m already regretting writing all of this down. It makes me sound so angry. And I hate it. I’m sorry.

Nayoon

You set the letter down, your hand hovering over your mouth. You had no idea…

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Why had you tried to be so cheery and optimistic? Why had you been so blind to Nayoon’s troubles? You should’ve been there for her, and all you did was talk about the stupid weather and the codes.

You cover your face with your hands, shaking your head from side to side. A soft mass of warmth nudges your head—a warmth that you quickly register as Heli. He whines, obviously concerned about your rather uncertain state. Rapidly blinking away some tears that had begun to well in your eyes, you reach to scratch under his chin.

“It’s okay, Heli. I’m just shocked, that’s all.”

He whines again.

“I don’t know how to respond to the letter…” you confess at his insistence. “What if I say the wrong thing and it propels her to an even worse mental state? I feel like I should’ve been there for her earlier. I should’ve never pretended that things were okay… I thought… I thought that if we just acted like things were normal, we’d both forget everything that happened. And I wouldn’t be making her uncomfortable. And she wouldn’t be worried that she was worrying me, but I just…”

Heli gently nuzzles your face.

For some reason, his kindness makes the tears finally fall down your face.

“I don’t even know why I’m crying… I shouldn’t be the one who’s like this. But it’s just that… I feel… I feel so bad, Heli.”

The fire tiger places a delicate paw over your hand, offering his nonverbal support. His warmth melts away just a little of your sadness.

“Thanks,” you sigh. Taking a shaky breath, you slowly wipe your tears away with the swipe of your sleeve. Neatly, you fold away Nayoon’s letter for safekeeping. Then, you slowly stand up and stare at the darkening sky, collecting your thoughts.

“I’m going to think of a proper response,” you say. “I don’t want to come to a hasty decision.”

Heli seems to agree, judging from the supportive chuff that he gives.

“I just have to clear my head,” you mumble—you’re unsure whether you’re talking to yourself or the fire sol. “Maybe they need my help in the cooking tent.”

The tiger makes an unintelligible noise, but he nods his head, which means you have his full support.

“I think today’s Hana’s shift for dinner…” You ruffle the fur on Heli’s head. “She’ll know what to say. She always does.”

And sure enough, you’re right.

“She doesn’t want pity,” Hana says, in a strangely serious tone that you often don’t get to hear from her. “So I’d say, don’t apologize to her. She’s probably heard it from enough people already.” She stirs the pot of porridge, ladling up a little with a wooden spoon and grimacing at the taste. “Ugh, I hate being on cooking duties on spinach day. But anyways—” She sighs. “It’s really hard to say. Everyone reacts to pain and sadness differently. Especially since this is the Elunian prodigy we’re talking about here…”

With her rolled-up sleeves and her cheeks red from the fire, Hana gives off the impression of a burned-out soldier—a little more work and she’d just collapse. She smiles sadly, a look you don’t often see on your friend. It almost makes you wonder if her happy, cheery persona is all but a heavy façade. “I think you need to reassure her,” she says quite sincerely.

“Reassure…” you sigh, picking up a knife to begin chopping up some more spinach. The green stains your hands a vibrant, verdant color. When you blink, you see red in its place. Like blood. But your eyes are just playing tricks on you.

“She probably looks up to the General,” Hana says.

“The General?” you parrot. But then again, who doesn’t look up to the General?

“If you could get him to write a few words of encouragement…” she trails off.

You gasp. “Hana, you’re a fucking genius!”

She grins, shrugging her shoulders. “Of course I am.”

The General has always found ways to reassure you. Even with his slumped posture and awkward gestures, he always seems to know what to say. So that’s it! You could ask the General to spend maybe a minute out of his hectic schedule to write her a small note. A note that will make her feel much better about herself.

“You’ve been stressed a lot these days,” Hana comments absentmindedly. A little too absentmindedly. It sounds a little staged—as if she’s worried for you and is finding a non-invasive way to check in.

It makes you look up at her, wide-eyed. “I feel like I shouldn’t be. I’m not the one who’s out on the battlefield.”

“You’re watching everyone you care for getting hurt,” she replies. “Pretty tortuous stuff if you ask me.”

You sigh, wanting to answer but unable to form any words in your head.

Hana notices your grim look and quickly changes the topic. “Anyways! Taehoon sent me another letter, and I got it yesterday.” She beams. “Says he’s been stocking up on acorns to try to replicate my father’s special homemade bread. Isn’t that sweet?”

The topic change makes you grateful, and you smile. “You two are a match made by the spirits.”

“If only I could see him more often,” Hana says with a slight pout. “We only had about a circa the last time we met…” She turns to you, a mischievous grin on her lips. “Do you think we’ll sign another truce with the Darlaeans soon?”

“Maybe they’ll agree to another one,” you say, smiling along with her. “After all the ass-kicking we’ve been doing, they might just have no choice but to agree.”

But both of you know it’ll be a long time until another truce is signed. Still, the thought of it is nice. And the thought of going back to your loved one, to embrace them, to finally be in their presence is heart-warming.

For Sooht’s sake. It must be nice to have a lover.

“He must be worried sick every day,” you tell Hana.

“Well, he shouldn’t be,” she replies. “Taehoon knows that I’m tough. I won’t go down so easily! And we write to each other so frequently it’s like we’re almost in each other’s heads! The letter I wrote him today was 10 pages long, and the one he sent me was a whopping 17! I guess that’s love,” she snorts, letting the ladle drop into the porridge pot. “Reading his long letters, giggling in the dark about something he wrote, picturing his face before I go into battle, trying to remember what he smelled like when I’m sitting in that stupid medical tent, bored and pained and annoyed…” She turns to you, eyes glossy and a dreamy smile stretched across her lips. “I love him,” she says. “Sometimes, it’s so much that I can’t take it. I have to pause and take deep breaths, Y/N. Isn’t that so silly? Just because of stupid ol’ love?”

“It’s not silly at all,” you say, and you mean it. The feelings that Hana had just described… Why do you want to feel them too? You can almost see the dim lamp light flickering in the tent as the letters rustle when you flip through the pages. You imagine yourself giggling, the pain and sorrows you’d dealt with during the day washing away as your lover’s writing comforts you. You envision yourself sitting on the cot, wrapped in bandages, but a peaceful look on your face as you recall what your lover smells like: a hint of lemongrass, another hint of lavender, of morning rain and night showers…

“I think love is a wonderful thing,” you say. Just not during a war, you think. But you don’t say that part out loud; even though you’re sure Hana’s thinking it too.

She smiles. It’s another one of those smiles where you can tell she’s not exactly happy, but she’s definitely not sad either. It’s a smile to indicate that yes, she agrees with you, and that yes, even though love is a wonderful thing, it’s also horrible to be in love during a war. But neither of you mention that out loud.

You and Hana fall into a low chatter of less importance—of your adventures with Heli, of funny anecdotes that Taehoon had been writing in his letters, of the weather, of the food, of anything but love and war and injured people. But the thought of Nayoon sits in the back of your head the whole time.

You’ll have to talk to the General about that.

You begin to wonder how he’s been coping with the loss of his prodigious young captain.

“I have made a grave mistake.”

Yoongi and Doyun glance up from the messy mass of papers splayed across Yoongi’s desk. Both of them look like they haven’t had a single wink of sleep since Captain Im’s unfortunate injury.

And it seems as if Major Ahn has been suffering the same. He staggers into Yoongi’s tent, his stubble so overgrown that one might as well call it a beard. His eyes are bloodshot and swollen, and he looks absolutely broken.

Immediately, Doyun stands to help him. She’s always so good with people, Yoongi thinks. He doesn’t know how she can be like that. It’s something he wishes he could do too.

“A mistake, you say, Major Ahn?” she says, reassuring him by patting his back. “Never mind that. You look like you haven’t gotten much sleep.”

Yoongi thinks she isn’t exactly in the position to say that. But then again, neither is he. Nevertheless, he gets up from his seat and gestures Major Ahn to sit down instead. The older man looks lost, eyes wide and alert yet flat and dull at the same time.

“I’m… I’m pathetic,” he finally utters.

Yoongi stays silent.

“Pathetic?” Doyun says, eyebrows raising. “Don’t say that, Major. You’re anything but.”

“No, no…” The man hunches over, burying his face in his hands. “You don’t understand. I am a horrible father. A horrible major, too. For Sooht’s sake, I’m even a horrible person.”

“You did what you had to do for your daughter’s safety,” Doyun sympathizes. “That doesn’t make you a horrible father. Nor does it make you a horrible person.”

“I left her with her dying mother,” he spits out. “So I could become promoted from captain to major. I left my family when they needed me,” he sobs. “And now… and now that I’ve lost Nayoon… I’ve never been there for anyone!” he yells.

When Doyun places a placating hand on his shoulder, he shrugs it away.

“I told her not to come back,” he says.

Yoongi raises his eyebrows. “You told Captain Im to stay in Elu?”

“For her own safety!” A pause. “And for me, too. You don’t understand. I’m drowning in self-hatred. I don’t want her to come back because if she were to get hurt again… I don’t think that I can take it. It’s selfish, I know. And it’s pathetic that I—a man more than twice her age—is sobbing about something like this… But I was never there for my daughter or my wife. If I can’t be there for Nayoon, then what good am I, really?”

“Don’t say that,” Doyun says. And this time when she places her hand on his shoulder, Major Ahn does not shrug it off. “We make sacrifices in this army to keep the rest of the nation alive. I’m sorry that the war has severed your relations with your family, but you are not a horrible person for choosing one over the other. If no one chose to fight in fear of disappointing their loved ones, Solaria would be long gone.” She smiles, though it doesn’t reach her eyes. “I know Captain Im’s injury has affected you a lot. It’s affected a lot of the army as well. But don’t blame yourself.”

Major Ahn sits in silence.

After a long while, he whispers, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry,” Doyun says. “I know Nayoon. She’ll come back. Haven’t you read 'Haneul’s Tale?' She’ll be back. Believe in her as much as you believe in the spirits.”

“How do you do it?”

“Sorry?” Doyun says.

“How are you and the General so… so fine after everything’s that happened?”

“Fine?” she laughs, turning to Yoongi. “Do we look fine?”

Yoongi snorts. “Major Ahn, this is the art of faking. None of us is fine. Everybody has lost somebody before, and we have all dealt with the emotional consequences. Do you feel pathetic? Sad? Unworthy? Well, so has everyone else. But we’ve all gotten through it, and if we have, so will you.”

“I’m sure Nayoon understands where you are coming from,” Doyun says. “The only thing your letter probably did was make her face her doubts. But she’ll get over them. She’s strong.” She pauses, watching the older man staring blankly off to the side, his face empty. “The only question now is are you okay?”

He sighs. “No,” he answers. “But I’ll pretend that I am.”

Yoongi nods. “That’s how we all are.”

“You’re strong, too, Major Ahn,” Doyun says. “You’ve given up a lot to be here, and I commend you for that. Nayoon’s injury was your breaking point, and we understand. We all have our breaking points. Your other captain has had his a long time ago. He copes with alcohol. Maybe not the best coping mechanism, but it keeps him sane enough to continue. I’ve had mine years ago when I dealt with Minhee’s death and yelled unspeakable things to the General’s face.” She smiles at the memory. “We forgive but we don’t forget. You’ll remember this moment for years, Major,” she says. “You’ll regret it, too. But it’s better to let it out than keep it in. You’re only human, not a Darlaean slayer.”

“Thanks, Lieutenant,” he says. “I better send Nayoon another letter telling her to disregard the previous one…”

Yoongi shakes his head. “There’s no need. I’ve got it covered.”

Major Ahn looks more relieved than anything. “Your mother should’ve been proud,” he says. “It was an honor serving her and your brother, but you, sir…” He stands, sinking into a deep bow. “Thank you for everything.”

Major Ahn saunters out of the tent, feeling much better than he did when he had first entered the General’s living quarters. But that is often the case. The General and the Lieutenant are sympathetic people. And although that may be why Solaria can never win the war, he commends them for their commendation of each and every one of their soldiers. In other words, he doesn’t feel like a pawn in their presence. He feels like a person.

When he passes by Captain Goe downing an obscene amount of alcohol from an even larger gourd he had somehow acquired, Major Ahn stops walking. Then, he turns back and stands in front of his captain.

“Nice beard,” Captain Goe snorts, hiccuping as he swishes what’s left of the alcohol in the gourd.

Major Ahn doesn’t comment. Instead, he sits down next to his captain, much to Captain Goe’s surprise. “I have been neglecting a shave these days.”

Captain Goe drinks from his gourd. “I wonder why,” he says sarcastically.

Major Ahn nods.

Silence.

Then:

“Did you have dinner yet?” Major Ahn asks.

It’s such a sudden question that it catches Captain Goe off-guard. “Did I?”

“It’s not good to drink on an empty stomach,” he replies.

“What are you, my father?” Captain Goe snorts.

Major Ahn smiles. He pats Captain Goe’s back and stands. “I heard from Major Hyun that they’re making pumpkin porridge today. Why don’t we get you some?”

⨰⨰⨰

To my youngest captain,

I understand that you do not want pity. You do not want to be pampered or coddled or spoiled. Nor do you want to be swaddled with gifts and depressing letters full of depressing sentiments.

So do not pity yourself, for what have you lost that you cannot make up for? Your brilliant mind is still set on your shoulders, your patience is even now endless and the support you have from your friends and acquaintances will never cease.

Do you think about giving up? Do you fear death? Worthlessness? Do you fear so many things that you cannot possibly make a list without running out of ink? If you give up, then others will follow in your footsteps. If you fear death, others will do the same. If you think you’re worthless, what do you think your comrades will feel? You are a captain, an officer. Your choices are everyone’s choices. So in the face of danger and adversity, will you crumble, or will you be the pillar of strength that others can lean on?

It is a rhetorical question, but you should know the answer, Captain.

I’ll see you again in Circa Peridot. Your sector, your co-captain, major, friends, Lieutenant and I will be waiting patiently.

With utmost respect, Min Yoongi

⨰⨰⨰

It’s been a long day.

You woke up at the fifth chime of the water clock, and now, at the eleventh chime, you sit by the lamplight outside your tent, catching up on Nayoon’s book. Today’s tale is called, “The Winter Fox,” a story about yearning and forgiveness, yet learning to let go when the time is right. It’s so beautiful that tears well in your eyes, nearly dripping down to the worn pages of Nayoon’s book.

“An emotional read?”

You jump.

“Sir! You’re always walking up and surprising me!” you say, watching as the General tilts his head curiously with a sparkling glint in his dark eyes.

He settles down on the grass with you. “Or maybe you’re always so lost in your own world that you never notice me until I speak to you first.”

You’re about to rebut him, but you realize he might be half-right. So you stay silent but huff in indignation.

“May I ask what you are reading?” he asks. He gestures toward the book in your hands.

“It’s Nayoon’s,” you say, immediately feeling a sharp pain in your chest when you mention her name. “‘The Winter Fox?’ Have you heard of it?”

The General smiles. “It’s too depressing for me.”

“I thought the ending was happy,” you say, eyes wide. “He let himself go and freed himself from unrequited love—both literally and figuratively.”

“It’s a children’s story,” he says. “They make it seem like letting go is easy.”

Your eyes widen. Is he implying that he’s experienced unrequited love before? Would it be rude of you to ask? Why would you want to know about the General’s love history, anyway?

“I suppose it’s not,” you finally decide to say—a fairly neutral answer. “But I don’t remember letting go of an unrequited love, so I thought everything that was described in the story was true.” It’s a subtle way of asking the General to open up. You wonder if he’ll take the bait.

“It doesn’t have to be romantic love,” he answers. “Letting go of family members, letting go of soldiers, friends, acquaintances…” He stares at you, and then it clicks.

Oh.

“But Nayoon will come back,” you say. “We’ve just let her go temporarily, right? For her to rest and regain her health.” You thought he had written and sent a comforting letter. Had she written back to him to tell him that she will never come back again? You fear the worst, and the alertness in your eyes shows.

“Of course she’ll come back,” he says. “But that sense of panic, of fear you felt when she left, that’s how letting go feels like when you’re not ready.”

“Is it a feeling you know?” you say, and then realize how stupid of a question that was. He lost his whole fucking family, you idiot, you tell yourself. “I mean,” you say, in an attempt of a save, “do you feel numb to it now that you’ve faced it so many times?”

“No,” he answers. Short and simple. But there is a deeper meaning in the way he says it—a quiet, gentle ‘no,’ coupled with a sad stare and curved down lips. “We will never be free like the winter fox,” he says after a while. “But it’s fun to pretend to be.”

In a strange way, you understand him.

“I wrote to Captain Im already, if you were wondering,” the General says. “She’ll be coming back. So don’t worry too much.”

“I wasn’t worrying that much.”

You and he both know that’s a massive lie.

“But thank you,” you say, “for taking the time to write her the letter. And I’m sorry I’m always bothering you with matters like this and making you train with me in the mornings when you’re already so busy.”

“You act as if you’re being a nuisance,” he says. “But I assure you that you are not.”

“I guess that’s good to know,” you say.

A sigh leaves your lips before you can stop it, and the General cocks his head, wondering what else could be in that head of yours. And before he knows it, he’s saying, “You have something else on your mind.”

“Of course I do,” you say with a smile. “There’s never a day my mind will let me rest. If you’re wondering, I’m just thinking how things have become so much more… real.”

“Oh?”

“You hear about people’s losses… Captain Chu’s family, Captain Im’s family, Major Jang’s family, Major Doyun’s girlfriend… and it’s just… It’s sad, but I guess I just never understood the gravity of it. And it’s silly to compare, I know, because Nayoon is alive and well, but… Oh, for Sooht’s sake, I don’t even know where I’m getting at with this. I just know that ever since Nayoon left, I’ve been rethinking everything. If I’m this distraught over her injury, then how will I ever be okay if someone I know were to… you know, die?” You run a frustrated hand up your hair. “It sounds so selfish in hindsight. I’m worried about how I’ll feel when someone else will be suffering from something much more direct… But it’s just… I realized that the more memories I make in Solaria, the more I have to lose. I hate it. And it’s even stupider that I’m telling you this when you’re risking your life for Solaria every single fucking day, and I’m sitting safe and secure in the back.” A pause. “Sorry… You definitely didn’t ask for this. You don’t even have to respond. Usually, it’s Heli who hears the brunt of my thoughts, but I shouldn’t be burdening anyone with them. It’s wrong, and I’m so sor—”

“Don’t apologize for having these feelings,” the General says. “It’s only natural.”

“It feels selfish, though.”

“That’s natural too,” he says. “Why do you think we are in a war? To be selfless and kind?”

“Definitely not.”

“Everyone has a different way of coping with loss and death,” the General says. “My advice to you is to find your way of coping now. Because there will be many more deaths and losses.”

“Well then, how do you cope?”

That’s a good question. Yoongi isn’t so sure. So he reflects the questions back onto you. “How do you think I cope?”

But you’re perceptive. “Maybe you don’t really have a healthy coping mechanism. You drown yourself in work and hope that keeping your mind busy will sink away the sadness.”

His eyebrows raise.

“It’s okay,” you say. “I think that’s my temporary coping mechanism, too.” You gently turn over Nayoon’s book in your hands. “Maybe I can begin coping by reading. Or maybe talking it out. It helps a lot, honestly. The latter, that is. You should try it too.”

“Maybe I should.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for any kind of loss,” you say, hugging your book to your chest. “But when the time comes, I promise I’ll be strong,” you say. He stares at you, watching the soft lamplight dancing across your illuminated features. “I’ll even pretend if I have to. I heard sadness is contagious.”

⧖⧗Circa Alexandrite⧗⧖

The tears have long since dried on your face. But now, you can feel the remnants stuck to your skin in dry, stubborn streaks.

You’re trying to be strong. You said it yourself that sadness is contagious, so why bother crying when it won’t do any good? Your nose is runny, but you sniffle and wipe the dried tear streaks with the back of your hand. Your breathing is still shaky, but you don’t think your eyes are blood red anymore.

With a deep breath, you open the red curtains of the entrance to the medical tent. A faux smile sets on your lips as you wave happily at the familiar figure sitting upright in one of the beds.

She waves back just as happily—strangely even more so than you. The pin that usually clips her hair behind her ear is gone, discarded somewhere. Maybe lost forever. Her cheeks have lost their shine—from coping with the pain and agony that came with her injuries.

“I heard you’re going back home soon,” you say, sitting beside Hana’s cot. “You’ll be seeing Taehoon. Have you written to him yet?”

Hana smiles and attempts to shake her head but is restricted by the white cast around her neck. So, she resorts to swaying her hand left and right to indicate a ‘No.’

“A surprise, huh?” you say, mirroring her smile. “You’ll be with your family and loved ones again.”

She flaps her hand up and down, then grins, reaching over to the side of her cot to pull out a scroll of paper and a charcoal pencil.

Joon gave this to me, she scribbles on it. Isn’t it such a great idea?

The paper has all sorts of phrases written on it already, such as: No, nothing hurts… yet :), I’m running low on Incha!! and even a Bathroom. Now!!!!

“It is a great idea,” you say. “It’s like we’re writing letters to each other… but in person.”

Exactly!!!

“When do you get to go back?”

In three days. Joon says my stump of a leg needs to heal a bit more.

You try not to stare, but for a second, your eyes linger at the sight of Hana’s missing right leg. The stump is wrapped in snow-white bandages, and it looks like the bleeding has stopped (for now). Thankfully, (thanks to the healers), it looks a lot better than the first time you saw it.

Embarrassingly enough, however, Hana notices you looking.

At least I didn’t lose an arm and a leg, she writes. Then I really wouldn’t be able to communicate with anyone!!!! She pauses, chewing on the end of the pencil. I swear, Y/N, I’m like a cockroach, remember? The Darlaeans couldn’t kill me if they tried! Don’t worry! :)

“I’m not worrying,” you say, shaking your head in denial. “I’m…” but saying ‘I’m happy for you,’ doesn’t sit quite right. The words die in your throat.

The only thing I’m sad about is being unable to fight for my nation. But I’ll be back! I swear I’ll be back. But I’m really happy, Y/N. I got what I wanted. Even though this was an extreme method. I get to go home. I get to see my family, see Taehoon!

Is she pretending to be happy for you? Like what Captain Im did? Or is Hana genuinely glad? You can never know with her.

“I’m going to miss you,” you finally settle on. “We have to write.”

I thought that was a given! Hana rolls her eyes. You think you could escape me that easily? No, sir!

You smile. “Tell me everything, all right? And I’ll tell you everything that happens around here… which won’t be as interesting compared to what you’ll write.”

Hana grins. I’ll entertain you with stories about my magical life. She pauses to drop the pencil and shake the cramps out of her hand. Whew! Did I mention how hard it is to write down everything I wanna say? But this is good. I’ve been meaning to improve my penmanship. I wouldn’t want you to be unable to read my letters!

You wish her optimism is contagious. Though you smile and grin and make sure to keep your tone friendly and light, your insides are crumbling. First Captain Im and now Hana. Who’s going to be next? And how do you comfort them while trying to comfort yourself?

For Sooht’s sake. You miss Hana’s voice already.

⨰⨰⨰

To my dear Y/N,

I know my last letter to you must have come as a large shock, and I want to apologize for that. I didn’t mean to dump all my regrets and sorrows on you, and I know you worried about it for days. Maybe you’re worrying about it now. But I’m fine, Y/N. I’m past feeling sorry for myself.

And ever since I adopted that mindset, things have really been looking up. I’ve been practicing my penmanship with my left hand, and I think I’ve gotten it down! (Doesn’t my handwriting look so much nicer?) I’ve also been taking a lot of nice, long walks with Major Ahn’s daughter—we’ve gotten very much well-acquainted. She tells me stories about her life in Elu, which she claims is mundane, but I quite like it. It’s crazy to think how different our lives are even when we’re from the same sector. I’m used to a fast-paced life (as are you)—always at the edge of my seat, waiting to spring to action if anything goes wrong. But Gaeul enjoys eating breakfast while staring at the sun slowly rising from the horizon. She likes to walk around the village without already having planned her destination. She wakes up when she wants to, sleeps when she wants to. She stops to appreciate pretty pebbles on the ground or a particularly colorful flower. Things are slow, but it’s a nice break, I think.

I’ve collected all of my thoughts, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m worth something because of me—not because of the things I achieve. When you start judging your value as a human being based on your accomplishments, you forget who you really are and what you came to do in this world. I had to step back from all that. I thought the Solarian Army only needs me because of what I bring to the table. It wasn’t until the General wrote me a letter that I realized I’d been thinking about it all wrong. Solaria needs me because of me. People are relying on me to come back—maybe because they need someone to talk to or someone to grab lunch with or someone to comfort them. It’s beyond what I’ve achieved in the past.

It’s funny to me now that I used to think that if I stopped being a prodigy, people would dismiss me. But I’m still young. I guess I’m still learning the ways of the world. Sometimes, I think the war is so much larger than anything that I can comprehend. Why are we fighting the Darlaeans again? It almost sounds blasphemous to even think such a thing. But sometimes, I wonder what it would be like if Solaria and Darlae could exist in harmony. Our hatred for each other has blown out of proportion. And now it’s come to the point where if we stop fighting them, they’ll destroy us—because they know that we’ll do the same if they were to stop, too. I’m not sure where I’m getting with this, but they’re thoughts nevertheless, and I want you to know them.

Thank you for being my anchor, Nayoon

⨰⨰⨰

Dear Nayoon,

It’s great to hear that you’re doing well. I didn’t know that Major Ahn had a daughter! He never really mentions her, nor does he mention his family. I thought he was unmarried and without kids! But I’m learning new things every day. And don’t worry about worrying me. It’s the least of anyone’s problems! Though I will say that it’s only human to feel strong emotions and act upon them. You don’t need to apologize for being human. This is a safe space!

It makes me really happy that you’re cozying down in Elu. I’m almost envious! I didn’t realize how fast-paced living in Alder had been until you mentioned otherwise. I’ll work harder here to ensure that the rest of Solaria is burden-free!

Your epiphany is something I think I’m still struggling with. It’s difficult to break out of that mindset where I think my whole self-worth is based on the things I achieve. Because I’m always thinking, ‘What if I’m just not enough?’ ‘I need to supplement myself by achieving great things!’ ‘People won’t like me for me, so I need to do better.’ But Solaria is a kind place, and I feel welcome and loved here. I’m glad the General wrote to you and helped you gain that important insight. I can’t say this enough but yes, you are so much more than a captain, a young prodigy, a genius to me. You’re my friend because I like who you are!

I also agree with the thoughts you had about the war. “I wonder what it would be like if Solaria and Darlae could exist in harmony.” I’ve been thinking about this ever since I first read it in your letter. It’s an interesting thought, but I don’t think it needs to yield any conclusion. Maybe some things are better left unconcluded.

With that said, I’m going for a suave topic change to our very much unconcluded circian code. It’s ‘king.’ We haven’t really thought much of it because we haven’t really thought much of the codes these days. If you have any ideas though, I’d love to hear them!

Anyway, enjoy that slow-paced life, and keep me updated!

Sincerely, Y/N

⨰⨰⨰

Y/N!!!!!

I am writing my first ever letter to you! This is a little warning in advance that I’ll be using many, MANY exclamation marks!! I just can’t get enough of them! Also, how else would I translate my excitement and happiness on paper?!?!

You know what’s pretty hilarious, though? I’ve put on some weight ever since I came home because I’ve been using my missing leg and voice as an excuse for everything—ha! I’ll write, Can I have some extra homemade special holiday acorn bread? My leg is starting to hurt :( and my family will go absolutely bonkers! I’ll say something like, I don’t think I can tend to the garden today… I’m feeling sad, and bam! My chores for the day are eradicated. Maybe I shouldn’t be using my injuries as an excuse, but maybe it’s a coping mechanism???

I don’t know! I’m genuinely telling the truth when I say that I haven’t cried or anything yet. I have yet to feel sad or sorry for myself. But I don’t think I ever will. Seriously, I’m enjoying this! I love being a Solarian soldier and all, but I spent most of my days at camp missing Taehoon, and now that I’m back in Aella, I can see him every! single! day!!!

We’re still pretty much in love, by the way. Yesterday, he baked me some more of my favorite homemade special holiday acorn bread. It wasn’t as great as my father’s, of course, but it was still pretty fucking good. It feels so great to be back home. I don’t even know when I’ll be coming back, but I don’t think I should care about that for now. Taehoon says I need to rest. I’m not gonna say no to that!

Joon mentioned that I might get my voice back in several circas if I’m super lucky! I miss yelling at my siblings. So I better be super lucky or I’m gonna be super mad. I also wasn’t sure if you knew, but Lieutenant Kang and I spoke before I left. She says that she and the General will welcome me back any time, but I need to take care of myself first. Unfortunately, I’ve never been that great at balancing on one foot, but I’m kind of forced to do that now. I’ll learn, though!

Imagine how shocked the Darlaeans would be when they see me on the battlefield! But it’ll be like I don’t even have a missing leg! I can’t wait to show them. To the Darlaean trash that attacked me—I’ll get my revenge!

I know you were worried when you saw me all bandaged up in the medical tent (I’m no idiot). But I’m happy, Y/N! There’s more to life than drowning yourself in sadness that you don’t even need. So don’t ever feel sorry for me!

I know I love to talk and I know I’ve lost my voice, but it’s not as sad as it seems. I’m getting used to communicating on paper! And thanks to the handy-dandy exclamation mark, I can still keep my enthusiasm! So I’m really fine!

There’s more to me than being a Solarian soldier, which may be hard to believe because it’s all I usually talk about. But! I’m really lucky to have a big family and a boyfriend who all love me for who I am! Never once will I ever feel bad about myself because I consider myself very lucky already. And the fact that you’re my friend, too! I’m a very lucky individual, indeed!

Well, anyways, write back to me soon!!! I’ll be waiting! (Seriously, though, I have a lot of free time on my hands now, so you know I’ll be counting the days!)

Love, love, LOVE, Hana

⨰⨰⨰

When you set Hana’s letter down, you’re grinning from ear to ear. Doyun catches you smiling and cocks her head. “What’s got you smiling so hard?” she asks.

“Hana,” you reply. “She’s amazing.”

Doyun nods, mirroring your grin. “She’s like a cockroach, that woman. In the nicest way possible, that is.” The Lieutenant returns to looking over her papers—always the busy worker—and you stare down at your own documents, wondering if you had been wrong after all.

Maybe Hana’s optimism is contagious.

⧖⧗Circa Ruby⧗⧖

Hana and Nayoon lead starkly different lives. When reading Nayoon’s letters, you feel calm and soothed. Her descriptions of her day-to-day life in Elu make you wonder how you would fare in a slow-paced life. But then you remember that there’s no point in wondering about that when Alder is practically your home, even if Elu may be your homesector. Besides, you’re happy for Nayoon. She deserves some time off for herself. Haneul is a great role model to have, but continuously living like her, patiently waiting and waiting and sweeping hardships under the rug—it’ll lead to burnout. You think Nayoon is coming to terms with this, and she’s beginning to live her life at her own pace. You’re happy for her.

Reading Hana’s letters, on the other hand, you’re never given a moment to breathe because you’re always laughing so hard. She has a way with words. Every story she tells—even the littlest things—brings her joy, and she’s able to translate this onto paper and share her happiness with you. You learn a lot from her. Sometimes, you wonder how much happier or how much more content you would be if you think like Hana does—carefree and optimistic. “Never once will I ever feel bad about myself because I consider myself very lucky already,” she’d written in her first letter to you. It’s a sentiment that you want to agree with. The latter half is true. You are an extremely lucky individual. Not a lot of Solarians survive a third sector battle and yet, you have. You are close with the people in your circle, and for the most part, you’re well-liked. You’re luckier than most, so why are you always anxious and nervous and worried? You don’t really pity yourself, so why is it that you’re not always 100 percent content? Is there something missing in your life that you don’t even know you’re missing? And is there any point in trying to figure out what it is? Or maybe this is just who you are.

Because when you strive for perfection, you can never really be content. There’s always something better. Always something more that you can be. But you don’t want to invalidate your feelings or reject who you are as a person. You suppose people have different ways of navigating life. It’s especially apparent when you see individuals’ reactions to hardship.

There are people who accidentally lash out at others because of it. There are others who try to hide it until they explode. And then there are the people who skip over it and know they have better things to care for in life.

But anyway, these are messy, jumbled-up thoughts you’ve been having for a while—not that you have that much time to overthink, anyway. Of course, as you’ve seen first-hand, summertime is busy for the camp. There’s not a lot of time to write to your friends, much less time to overanalyze each and every one of their sentences. You’re spending most of your days in the medical tent now—upon the General’s request. In fact, all soldiers and officers who are currently uninjured are strongly encouraged to help out in the tent—no matter which elements they wield.

But speaking of elements, you’ve become quite the fire medium—not yet at the caliber of most third sector soldiers, but just enough to squeeze by with the first and fifth sectors. And even though you’re improving at a furious pace, you’ve temporarily stopped your morning lessons with the General. Things have gotten too busy for both of you.

Consequently, you haven’t seen him in weeks. But you shouldn’t complain. Some soldiers don’t see him for circas. You’ve been lucky enough to be taught by him in the dawn light every day, so why do you feel so… No. You won’t let yourself go down that train of thought.

“Y/N!”

An urgent voice breaks you out of your thoughts.

“Can you take care of Yoonsuh over there? She needs cauterization, and we’re low on fire mediums right now!” Namjoon says. He looks a frenzy—hair a mess, eyes wide and alert, blood splattered on his clothes. He’s been working non-stop for over two days.

It makes you feel extra guilty that you’d accidentally zoned out in the middle of your duty, especially when Namjoon is working himself to the brink of collapse. You want to tell Joon to take a rest. Maybe get some sleep or grab something to eat, but you don’t want to waste his time any more than you already have. So an “I’ll be right there!” comes out of your mouth.

You quickly abandon the large pot of Incha you had been heating up and run towards the injured soldier, weaving in and out between other healers, occupied cots and last-minute volunteers. There had been an ambush. Something that hasn’t happened in circas—at least, not since the Solarians have cracked the codes. But it looks like the Darlaeans had their share of unencrypted plans. Or maybe they were sick and tired of being beaten and threw a childish tantrum to blow off some steam.

Now hundreds of Solarian soldiers are injured because of it. And these injuries are far more severe than anything else you’ve ever seen in the medical tent.

Yoonsuh is sobbing quietly, her hands white from gripping at the edges of the cot. She stares up at the billowing ceiling of the scarlet tent, shivering even though it’s not really cold. Her bedsheets are soaked red from the severed stumps of where her legs used to be. Blood and bone. You feel like you can’t breathe.

She’s been given some Incha already to fight off the pain, but you’re unsure whether she’ll make it. It’s always hard to watch someone fight for their life in front of you. And it’s even harder to know that their health is in your hands. Now you’re shaking, too.

You wish you can be like Namjoon at times like this: calm, collected. Why do you, when it matters the most, begin to doubt yourself?

Fire has almost become like second nature to you. You can call it and dismiss it with ease, and you’d even say that you’re quite adept at wielding it. But now that you must use it to cauterize an open wound… It’s different. There’s so much pressure. You’ve done this before. You’ve practiced it under Joon’s watchful eye. But never alone. What if you can’t save her life?

“We’re going to cauterize your wounds, Yoonsuh,” a gentle voice says. A familiar voice that brings great comfort and warmth to you. “You’re going to be okay.”

The General moves across from you, hot hands already reaching out to stop the bleeding in the right leg. Watching him do it makes it look so easy. And before you know it, you’re following in his footsteps. Both of you handle Yoonsuh’s injuries with great care, delicately grazing your scalding hands against her open wounds until they’re damp with blood. But it eventually stops Yoonsuh’s bleeding.

You and the General share a small glance. It is an infinitesimal moment, one where his eyes soften and his lips part just slightly. And one where your heartbeat quickens. He blinks, eyelashes gently grazing his skin. And for a moment, you forget to breathe. Then—all too quickly—he’s gone, slipping into the crowd of healers to help anyone else in need.

It occurs to you now that he’d just come from battle. His hair had been matted, cheeks streaked with dirt and blood, boots muddy and worn. Yet he’s not resting as he should be. You wonder if he ever stops working. And if he’s so diligent, then surely, you—as his officer—must be as well.

Yoonsuh is fast asleep after her successful cauterization, and you don’t want to wake her up. She’s smiling slightly in her sleep. Maybe she’s dreaming of sweet things—her family, her lover, her home, her past memories… After cleaning your bloody hands on a wet cloth, you gently dab at the sweat that had accumulated around her face with a smaller towel. She doesn’t have a fever, which is always a good sign, but you’ll have to come back and check on her in a few hours.

Strangely, you feel so calm. Is it the calm after a storm? Or are you used to this now? No, that can’t be it. Just moments ago, you were panicking before a cauterization. So it must be the General, then. There’s just something ineffable about his presence that makes you feel like things will be okay. Because you know when you mess up, he won’t be furious with you as often as you are with yourself. “You are your biggest enemy,” he’d told you one day during your training. “I’ve never seen anyone else be so critical about their every move. Even their thoughts.”

Then after that training session, you’d been critical of everything you’d done up to that point for the General to call attention to that very true fact. But because he knows that no one else can hurt you as you hurt yourself, he’s gentle. “There’s no point in chastising people like you when you’ve already done it yourself a hundred times over,” he’d say. “It’s a waste of time.”

The General is an efficient man. But he is also kind and insightful—when he wants to be. On the battlefield, you’ve heard he’s terrifying. The Darlaeans don’t even know what hit them.

“This is fucking outrageous!” Captain Chu yells, slamming his fist on the table. “How did we let them ambush us?” His eye is patched up, and there are several scratches running down his arms, indicative of a scuffle on the battlefield. Rumor has it that Major Ki saved him just in time before a Darlaean gutted him.

“They’re getting impatient,” Major Ki answers, gently placing her hand over Captain Chu’s fist. “They’ve got new spells under their sleeve. Deadly ones.”

“Yeah, I almost fucking lost my eye,” Captain Chu grumbles. “And we’ve lost a fellow captain, too. How long will it take until we lose another? This time it might’ve been temporary, but think how much a permanent loss would do to us.”

“Let’s not think like that,” Major Hyun says. “We’ve still got hope.”

“Major Hyun is right,” the Lieutenant cuts in. “It’s best that we don’t become too angry or fearful. They prey on those emotions. All we can do is continue fighting with better strategies.”

“How are we going to strategize when they’re moving off script?” Captain Bak says, fixing her bangs. “The ambush wasn’t written in the code.”

“They must be abandoning the code, then,” Captain Yoo says. “Or this is the start of their diabolical plan, and we’re too late to stop it now.”

“Captain Yoo’s right,” Major Lee says, frowning. “What in Sooht’s name are we going to do when they start attacking us at every corner? They know our movements now—we’re just counterattacking their formations. So what the hell’s stopping them from completely obliterating us?”

“It… It could be that they still… that they still don’t know that we know…” Captain Yang says.

“But how could they not?” Captain Chang laughs. “They’d have to be the dumbest idiots in the world to not have caught on! Think about it. They’re losing almost every big battle. They should know that something’s up.”

“Or maybe we’re overthinking this,” Major Jang sighs.

“I’d like to respectfully disagree,” Major Ki says. “I’d rather we overthink than underthink.”

“It’s a waste of time, though,” Captain Bak sighs, smoothing out her glossy hair. “I’d rather we brainstorm when we have more information. Besides, our officer hasn’t even presented this circa’s code yet. We shouldn’t jump to conclusions.”

“I—” burp “—agree,” Captain Goe says, swishing the alcohol in his gourd before taking a large swig. “I agree with Wonmi for once.” He turns to you, eyes heavy but features relaxed and sedated. “Why don’t you take the floor, Officer Ryu?”

It’s not the first time the spotlight suddenly shifts to you in the central tent. But it’s an uncomfortable feeling nevertheless. You quickly clear your throat, setting down some parchment for the others to see.

“It’s really strange,” you say, tilting your head and frowning. “I double, triple, quadruple-checked my work because I couldn’t believe it.”

Quiet murmurs begin to fill the tent as the officers each get a glance at the word you’d written onto the paper next to some monocode scratchwork.

“Your work looks right, Officer Ryu,” Major Hyun says. “But I’m just as surprised as you are.”

“How can the code be ‘jewel,’ again?” Major Jang whispers.

“This is hopeless,” Captain Chang grumbles.

“Or, this could be a good thing,” Major Ki says.

“And how would this be a good thing?” Major Lee says. “We’re running around in circles. How the hell can any of this be good?”

“I miss my co-captain,” Captain Goe murmurs. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Major Ahn nodding in agreement.

“It’s good because the Darlaeans don’t know that we know,” Major Ki says. “If they’re careless enough to actually begin repeating the last—” she pauses to count “—eight codes, they definitely don’t know that we’re using their codes to predict their movements on the battlefield.”

“But do you really think that the Darlaeans would be this careless, Major?” Captain Bak questions, eyebrows raised. She’s been talking a lot more in the meetings these days, you’ve noticed, and she always manages to bring up a good point. “You said it yourself that it’s better to overthink than underthink. Do you really believe it’s best we simply assume that the Darlaeans have made a careless mistake and move on?”

At this, Major Ki frowns. She immediately begins to twist the rings around her finger. It’s a good counterargument; what else can she do?

“I thought we were over this monocode bullshit circas ago,” Captain Chang sighs.

“Captain, please,” Major Lee says, “remember our conversation about unnecessary commentaries?” Next to him, Captain Chang’s co-captain, Captain Sim smiles. She never really talks in the meetings—she doesn’t like disagreements and brash arguments—but you hear she is a dutiful soldier and a nurturing captain. Sometimes, you wonder what she might be thinking.

And when you begin thinking like that, you start to understand why the others are always asking for your input. They’re curious. That’s all. When you’re quiet, always soaking up information but never adding to the conversation, people begin to wonder which side you’re on. And in your case, you suppose it’s better for you to be transparent than not. After all, you’ve been accused of being a Darlaean spy. What’s more, you can’t forget that eight (nearly half) of the officers in this tent initially didn’t want you to become an officer.

Sometimes, late at night when you can’t sleep, you try guessing who those eight people could be. It’s a guilty pastime. You can’t understand why you’re so hooked up on something that happened so many circas ago. It’s not like you to hold grudges. But maybe this isn’t a grudge. Maybe this is you just trying to figure out who might not trust you so that you can make them trust you.

Of course, Captain Chu and Captain Yoo voted against you. (Though it’s safe to say that you and Captain Chu are on good terms now.) That’s two out of eight. You wonder who the other six could be. Would any of the majors have voted against you? Well, there’s Major Ahn. He’s a vigilant man who had called you inexperienced in your first meeting. Is it possible that he’d voted against you too? If you assume that, then that’s three out of eight. Who else? You had some early drama with Major Lee and Major Jang, but you’d resolved it before the voting commenced, so you can surely rule them out. What about Major Ki? Both of her captains didn’t like you at the time; had their disapproval stemmed from a larger force? No… But Major Ki had taken a chance on you…

This is driving you crazy. Which is strange because it never really drove you that crazy before… But don’t you have a right to know who didn’t want you to become an officer so you can change their opinion of you? Was it Captain Bak who also voted against you? She’s cold and pragmatic, so maybe she thought having a new addition to the team would hinder the group’s synergy. Or maybe—

“We can’t do much for now,” Captain Yoo says, cutting into your thoughts. “If the Darlaeans are developing their master plan right under our noses, then I suppose it’s too late. If we all die though,” he pauses, glancing at the General out of the corner of this eye, “I believe I’ve warned you people enough. It wouldn’t be my fault.”

“And whose fault are you insinuating it would be?” Major Lee scoffs.

“I think we all know the answer to that,” Captain Yoo says.

“That’s enough,” the Lieutenant sternly says. “If we all die, we all die. We’re not going to push the blame on a single person. Especially not on someone who risks everything to lead us to see another day.”

“But maybe some people aren’t born leaders,” Captain Yoo replies, raising an eyebrow.

“Didn’t you hear, Sunho?” Major Ki says, fists wound tightly. “The Lieutenant says that’s enough.”

“You of all people should know, Major,” Captain Yoo says, scoffing. “Weren’t you the one who always said you should’ve become the General of the Solarian Army instead of him?” He points at the General.

Your eyes widen. Oh. That would make so much sense. It’s all coming back to you now—that conversation you had with Captain Yoo by the water clock. The one where he’d told you that he disapproved of the General and the Lieutenant’s leading styles. The one where he’d called you a speck of dust. The one where he said Solaria needed leaders who lead. Were these really sentiments that Major Ki shared, though? Had she really been pretending to like you and the General? Had she been hiding her true feelings and only revealing them to her trusted captains? Is that why her captains had always been so mean to you? You can’t help but feel a little hurt.

Major Ki is silent, but you can see her hands trembling. Her fists are white.

You take a glance at the General, but his expression is unreadable. If he feels betrayed, he’s doing a spectacular job of hiding it. Everyone else in the tent watches Major Ki. You can feel the seconds passing, bleeding into minutes…

Finally, she opens her mouth, head bowed and face hidden behind a curtain of hair. “That—” she says, slowly, clearly “—was something I said years ago. And I regret it very much.” When she looks up, her eyes are filled with tears. “I was young then, and I wanted power. Didn’t we all at some point in our careers? That’s why most of us are here, aren’t we? As officers in the Solarian Army? Yes, I was guided by ill motives and a thirst for status back then, but I’ve come to realize that I was wrong. I’ll admit that I did say some unkind things about the General behind his back, and I’ll take full responsibility. I should’ve never said those things—especially not in front of my captains. I’ve accidentally led them to believe that I—of all people—could be a better leader.” The tears roll down her face as she looks up at the General and the Lieutenant. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I’m so sorry.”

You’re not sure how it’s possible, but somehow, it gets even more silent than before.

You also can’t believe your ears. Kind, insightful Major Ki? Vying for power? If what she’s saying is true, and at one point in her life she shit-talked the General and the Lieutenant, then, her captains had just been trying to be loyal to her this entire time. Captain Chu’s her boyfriend—of course he’d support the love of his life. She’s the only one he has left. And Captain Yoo… You always thought he hated you because you valued friendship and relationships and he valued boundaries and professionalism. But maybe he’d always been trying to be loyal to his major. Maybe all of this was just a massive misunderstanding.

Even so, Captain Yoo had stepped out of line. There was no need for him to call Major Ki out in front of everyone. He humiliated her. And now she’s crying.

It brings you back to the first time you’d been in this tent. You’d cried then, too, and it had been Major Ki who had consoled you. But before you can say anything, the General finally speaks.

His voice is soft, just barely above a whisper. “Everybody out,” he says. “Except Major Ki.”

Your heart drops. Even Doyun looks surprised at the General’s order. But nobody questions it. Quickly, everybody files out of the tent. You’re one of the last to leave, and you try to make eye contact with Major Ki and the General, but none of them look your way. Why are you so worried about both of them? Is the General going to strip Major Ki from her title? Is he going to banish her back to Ara for blasphemy? Or is he going to punish her captain? The curiosity is eating you alive, but the curtain of the tent falls shut, and you’re left outside, wondering what the hell could be going on on the other side.

It’s silent for the longest time.

Major Ki stares at her shaking hands, and Yoongi stares at his own sweaty palms.

He doesn’t know how to exactly start the conversation. He has a lot of things on his mind, of course, but how does he say it without making her cry even harder? Lucky enough for him, however, it’s Major Ki who speaks first.

“I understand if you want to demote me,” she squeaks in a tiny voice. “Or send me back to Ara. It’d only be fair.”

Yoongi raises his eyebrows. Then, he clears his throat. “I have no intentions of either.”

At his words, Major Ki looks up, eyes red and puffy already. “Your brother would’ve done it if he heard someone from his army speak ill of him.”

“My brother is dead,” Yoongi says. “And I promised not to lead like him.”

“I just want to make one thing clear, sir,” Major Ki says. “I never ever wanted to steal your position. It was never my intention to.”

“I know that,” Yoongi says. “You’ve saved me in battle many times. If you wanted me dead for my title, you would’ve let me make my stupid mistakes. I’m really the one who is sorry.”

“Sir…” The tears begin to fall down her face again.

“You assumed the position of my third sector major at the same time that I assumed the title of the General, Major,” Yoongi says. “We were navigating new paths together, and I’m sorry I wasn’t a better guide. I’ll admit that I wasn’t sure what I was doing half of the time, and you were always the one who helped me get back on track. I know you had frustrations because of my incompetence, and I know you had to take it out somewhere. Your captains are very loyal, Major. They’d follow you into fire if you told them to.”

“They are very loyal…” Major Ki whispers. “But I just never knew that they took my incessant ramblings so seriously. I never meant for them to disrespect your leadership at all, and it’s my fault for setting a horrible example.”

“Truth be told,” Yoongi says, meeting Major Ki’s eyes, “I admire you. What you did behind my back was shitty—” she flinches “—but I know you had no ill intentions. You’re a woman with big dreams. You’ve got ambition. I know when you were younger, power fueled you to be better, be stronger, be tougher. But you’ve grown—as people often do when they face hardship. Now, you’re the major who cares about each and every single one of her soldiers. You’re the major who can’t stand using them as your pawns. So, in reality, I look up to you, Major Ki. Nothing you do can change that. Nothing your captains can say will sway me either.”

“I-I… I don’t even know what to say, sir.”

“It’s all right,” he says. “But I do want to talk to you about Captain Yoo.”

“Yes, sir?”

“Tell him—and make sure you emphasize that this is from the General, himself—that if he steps out of line in another officer meeting, consider his career here over.”

“Sir!”

Yoongi cocks his head. “Major Ki, you of all people should know that coddling and reasoning with him will not get through. He wants a leader who can lead. I’m just giving him a taste of it.”

At that, Major Ki smiles a little. “Yes, sir.”

“And Suhyun? Don’t be embarrassed about today,” Yoongi says. “You’d make a fine General. It’s not too much of a far-fetched idea, don’t you think?”

“It isn’t?”

“This is war,” he replies. “Anything can happen.”

⧖⧗Circa Peridot⧗⧖

Dear Y/N,

I’m coming back! It’s crazy to think how quickly almost four circas have gone by. I’ve been waiting for this moment since the beginning, though. So elated to see your face again! I’m not sure when you’ll get this letter (it’d be awkward if you got it after I came back), but whenever you read this, just know that I’ve missed you and everything else about Alder.

Also, your last letter about all the officer drama left my jaw nearly unhinged. I almost wish I was there to see it happen, but I imagine it must’ve been very stressful. I’m glad the General cleared things up with her, though. A breakage in our circle would surely be detrimental to our team!

I’m also really perplexed about the new code. Or should I even call it new? It’s strange, and it’s a pity you couldn’t discuss it further in the meeting.

Anywho! I have to begin packing to come back—sorry for the short letter! I’m even starting to miss Captain Goe, so that’s how I know I’ve really been away for a while. I’ll see you soon.

Most Sincerely, Nayoon

⨰⨰⨰

You end up seeing Nayoon two days after you get her letter. She asked that the officers didn’t celebrate her return, but Captain Goe tries to find any excuse to drink, so the fourth sector threw her a celebration, anyway.

For some—or a lot—of the soldiers, Captain Im’s return brought them hope.

“You see this young lady here?” Captain Goe says, grasping Nayoon’s left hand and raising it up in the air as if she’s a champion. He’s definitely drunk out of his mind. “She rose from the dead! Ya hear that? She didn’t let some scrawny fucking Darlaean get the best of her! She’s back and better than ever, my soldiers! So here’s to Captain fucking Im, the young prodigy from Elu!”

Everyone drinks to that.

Nayoon catches your eye from the crowd and she smiles, a grateful look on her face. You grin right back at her. And several hours later, when the party is wrapping up and you’re heading back to your tent, you see Nayoon, Major Ahn and Captain Goe in deep conversation outside. Captain Goe says something, and whatever it is, it makes Nayoon take a giant step forward and embrace him. In seconds, the fourth sector officers are all hugging each other.

You look away, smiling to yourself.

It’s been a crazy fucking several circas. But there’s more light at the end of the tunnel than you think.

⨰ previous | series m.list | next

⨰ a/n: thank you for being so patient and waiting over a month for this monster of a chapter! i also took a month to write this 😟 i hope it was well worth the wait! and don't worry ;) we'll get a lot more oc x general action in the next chapter 👀 👀

please consider telling me your thoughts with a comment, an ask or a reblog :) i love hearing readers' impressions/rambles/predictions! if you want to join the taglist, send in a private message, ask, reply to this post or reblog with your request!

72 notes · View notes

dari-ede · 2 years

Text

In the Middle of the Night: Chapter 16 (M)

Chapter 16: "Hoy me estoy rindiendo a ti"

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30

MASTERLIST

Summary: As Bangtan prepares for a new chapter in their lives, they head to their private property in the forest for a songwriting workshop. As a songwriter and producer they have worked with for years, I’m asked to tag along. I was ready for the heavy workload and small amount of sleep during the workshop week. However, I wasn’t ready for the storm that came that changed my friendship with Namjoon forever.

Pairing: Idol!RM/Namjoon x OFC

Genre: Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Smut

Rating: M (mention of sexual assault in other chapters, explicit language, sexual scenes)

Status: COMPLETE

Warning/spoilers: full penetration (FINALLY), oral sex, digit penetration

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Summer 2020-

I was standing in front of the guys' dormitory, waiting for someone to open the door.

I wasn't sure who—or if anyone—was home. In true Latina style, I decided on a whim to come for a visit without calling first. They all had today off, that I knew for sure due to Namjoon mentioning it days before.

I knocked again, telling myself if no one answered it this time, I would leave.

To my relief, the door opened before I finished my knock. Standing on the other side was a very unimpressed Min Yoongi.

"What do you want?" he asked bluntly.

I gave him a wide smile and hopped my way in. "What you doing?"

He closed the door. "I was making lunch. What are you doing here?"

The aromas coming from the kitchen made my feet walk to it. "Oooh," I said excitedly. "What are you making?"

"Eomuk soup," he answered, following me. "How did you get pass security?"

"Oh, Hobi gave me clearance a while back ago," I said dismissively. The pot on the stove had some boiling water with some vegetables already inside. It smelled divine. "I always wanted to learn how to make it. What do you use?"

Yoongi began to list off the ingredients and the steps on how to add them to the broth. "Hobi mentioned he was craving some, so I'm making it."

"Need help?" I offered.

He let out a laugh. "Are you bored?"

"Yes," I admitted and washed my hands thoroughly. "I've run out of things to do. The last time I worked was five days ago. What the hell do songwriters do when they don't have projects to work on?"

"I wouldn't know. As an idol and producer, I always have something to work on. Here, you can help me in getting the fish cakes ready," he offered.

He gave instructions on how to properly fold the rice cakes—being incredibly patient with me along the way. It almost felt as if I was cooking alongside my Tia Jia. And in thinking of her, I began to feel homesick.

"How much spice can you handle?" he asked, getting out the gochu-garu.

"I do good with it, but Hobi can't handle things too spicy."

Yoongi made a sound, agreeing with my statement.

"When is he getting home?" I asked, realizing I hadn't asked yet the whereabouts of the other guys.

"They're here," Yoongi answered, watching me cut the green onions.

"All of them?"

"No. Hoseokah, Jimini, Jungkookah, and Yuna. Add those to the sauce and then a tablespoon of sesame oil," he directed.

"Things seem to be going kind of fast between Jungkook and Yuna, no?" I asked, intrigued by the youngest's new relationship with their English teacher.

It was a little unconventional—she was technically an employee and Jungkook had more professional power. It was the main reason why they were keeping the relationship a secret from the company.

Because I saw Jungkook as a little brother, I did my best not to over-worry. Yoongi had a level-head and was reasonable. If he told me there was nothing to worry about, then I would feel more relaxed.

Yoongi took a bowl out and placed the ingredients I had just cut into it. "He's young and in love. She's a nice girl and professional. She seems to love him as well."

He sounded calm. It put me at ease. I went back to the green onions.

Keeping a watchful eye on my hands, he said, "You hold the knife well."

Before I could answer, another voice appeared. "Oh, what's noona doing here?"

I looked up to find that a nearly-naked Park Jimin had entered the kitchen, looking as if he had just rolled out of bed. "Hello, Sleeping Beauty," I said to him.

He sent me one of his cute eye smiles. "What are you making?"

There was a buzz sound coming from Yoongi's pants. "Eomuk soup. It's almost ready," Yoongi stated as he took out his phone. "Go wake up Jungkook and Yuna. Hobi should be out of the shower," he instructed as he typed something on his screen.

Jimin turned and followed orders.

Yoongi was spot on. The soup was ready to go no more than 5 minutes later. The guys hadn't left their rooms, however, so Yoongi allowed me to have first taste of the soup.

As soon as I took the first bite, I felt warm all over.

"How is it?" Yoongi asked after I hadn't answered. However, judging by the smile on his face, he knew damn well what my answer was.

"This is so fucking good," I said in English, going in for another bite.

"Good. Let's get the bowls ready." He took out seven bowls.

I frowned at this. "There's only six of us."

Yoongi began to place the noodles into the bowls. "Namjoonah is on his way. I told him I was cooking. He just responded back saying he's almost here."

Just as he finished saying that the front door could be heard opening. "Hello!" came Namjoon's voice.

I was placing the rice cakes into the bowls when Namjoon entered the kitchen. Sporting some black gym shorts and a simply white tee, he looked a little shocked seeing me there. "Well, this is unexpected. What are you doing here?"

"I got bored and decided to bug whoever was home. Yoongi was the lucky victim," I said with a smile. "He let me help. So, if you guys don't like it, it'll totally be because of me."

"You didn't ruin anything. My food is always good," Yoongi said confidently. He took some of the bowls and began setting up the table for everyone.

Namjoon made his way over to me. "Did you have fun?"

I nodded enthusiastically.

"You seem happy," Namjoon said, a smile spreading across his own face.

Since moving to Seoul, Namjoon had been keeping a close eye on me, being a good friend in making sure I was doing well. Honestly, it didn't help with the small crush I had on him, being this sweet.

"It was fun. It felt like cooking with my Tia Jia. Yoongi is a good cook—probably better than my aunt. Don't ever mention that to him, though. I don't want his ego getting more inflated." I stuck out my pinky to him.

Namjoon grasped it with his and locked it.

"Time to eat!" Yoongi announced.

~~~~~~~

-September-

Weeks after Namjoon's and my date, we still had yet to have our second date due to unforeseen circumstances. We had a few lunch dates here and there, but didn't get to have more than 2 hours of full privacy. This weekend, we were hoping everything went well because it looked as if our dinner was finally going to take place.

I was currently attending one of the guys' practices. It was a long day today and for good reason: the online concert was coming up. We all needed the practice. And seeing that I was a guest, I was invited to attend their practices.

After practicing the number I was going to be featured in, I continued to stay for the remainder of their practice. I sat with Sungdeuk's wife. Sungdeuk was the guys' performance director, so he would often bring his family with him. Currently, the pair of us were watching the guys at work while keeping Sungdeuk's son entertained. Officially, I was attending practice as a featured guest. Unofficially, I was there to drool over Namjoon's sweaty body.

As I stared at his fine self, I was reminded of our time at the workshops. Before the workshops, I didn't mind the celibate life. However, now, I was becoming impatient. Namjoon was like an itch I needed to scratch.

I tried to keep my mind from getting too dirty, so I changed my focus elsewhere. Tae and Jimin were horsing around, getting closer to Namjoon and possibly bumping into him. However, the ever-so-observant leader moved out of the way, his brothers missing him by an inch. It didn't take long for Jin to join the pair and goofed around with them. Yoongi kept his eyes straight forward as he practiced on a move he was having trouble with. Jungkook was bouncing around for some odd reason. Meanwhile, Namjoon and Hobi kept their focus on their chaotic brothers. Hobi laughed while Namjoon looked adoringly at them.

I mostly worked with the guys in the studio, where they were a little quieter and more diligent. The recording studio didn't allow enough physical room for too much horse play. However, the dance studio gave the guys ample room to be as chaotic as they pleased. It was amazing how they were able to get so much done with all the playfulness.

After hours of work, it was time for lunch. Most in the room began to disperse. Jimin and Tae left with a few of the dancers and Jungkook and Hobi left to meet up with their girlfriends.

The last ones in the room were Namjoon, Yoongi, Jin, and me. We were the only ones who opted to stay in the building and were waiting for our food.

Namjoon had thrown himself onto the floor, exhausted from the intense training. Jin and Yoongi were equally tired but sat on the chairs.

Not having practiced nearly as much as they had, I had plenty of energy to go over some of the choreography. I turned on the music and went to the center of the room to practice.

"How was the carbonara?" Yoongi asked from his chair, observing me.

I didn't understand the question, so I gave him a confused look.

He clarified, "The carbonara Namjoonie cooked for you a few weeks back. I keep forgetting to ask."

Jin's interest had been on his phone but was fully on us now. "Oh, that's right. How badly did he ruin the dish?" he asked teasingly.

"It tasted good. He did a fine job," I said immediately, fully meaning it.

"She's being nice," Namjoon mumbled from the floor. His eyes were still closed, obviously still too tired. "The only good thing served was the wine."

I grabbed a towel and threw it at his face.

He didn't bother moving the towel, but a low chuckle could be heard underneath it.

"Maya doesn't lie when it comes to food," Yoongi said with confidence. "She has good taste buds. I should know; I taught her to cook," he said with pride.

"I taught her, too," Jin added.

All these years and they hadn't changed. I openly rolled my eyes at their competitiveness.

"Yeah, but she likes my food more," Yoongi said with a smirk.

This was true, but I had never admitted it to Yoongi—for this precise reason. He already had a big head. There was no reason to feed his ego.

"According to who?" demanded Jin, his lips giving a pout.

"Namjoonie. That's why he asked me for help on their date," Yoongi boasted.

Jin and I both turned to Namjoon, wondering if it was true.

Namjoon was now sitting up, the towel on his lap, but his face looking down in what appeared to be regret. He let out a sigh. "Hyung, why reveal that?"

Yoongi let out a chuckle, showing no ounce of guilt. "That's what you said."

Jin then turned to me. "You don't like my food?!" he asked with a slight look of hurt.

"I never said that!" I responded.

"She does, but prefers mine," Yoongi added, enjoying Jin's ego get hit.

"Shut up," I said to the little man, which only made him laugh harder.

I turned back to Namjoon. "Who told you I liked Yoongi's cooking more?"

"No one, but it's the truth," Namjoon responded, finally looking up at me.

"How do you know?" I demanded. With Jin looking slightly hurt and Yoongi looking like an evil mad man, I wanted to shut this down before it became a thing.

Namjoon didn't hesitate with his answer. "You prefer cooking with Yoongi. You've mentioned his food is comforting. You say Jin's food tastes like a fancy restaurant. It's no secret that when it comes to food, you prefer a home cooked meal, which one can deduce out of the two, Yoongi's tastes more homemade. You also have thirds with Yoongi-hyung's dishes, despite you normally never getting seconds."

Once again, Namjoon didn't fail in analyzing me perfectly. I still didn't understand how he saw through me so easily. I could feel myself getting warmer.

Yoongi and Jin were quick to turn the teasing to me.

"She likes that Namjoonie knows her so well," Yoongi let out.

"Look at that blush!" Jin exclaimed, clapping and almost giggling.

"Good job, Namjoonah." Yoongi joined with the clapping.

"You know how to court a girl well," Jin complimented.

I rolled my eyes at them, but I was sure they could tell I was a bit embarrassed.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Namjoon had turned towards his older brothers. No more than a few seconds later, Yoongi and Jin's laughter died down. I was positive Namjoon had had given them a signal it was time to stop.

Thankfully, the door opened with a staff member entering with bags full of our food.

No one made a move to leave the room, so the four of us sat on the floor and began to eat.

"Is the second date tonight?" asked Jin, digging into his noodles.

Namjoon glanced over at me and gave a simple nod.

"You're going to Jin-hyung's restaurant, right? What happens after?" asked Suga.

I knew as much as Yoongi did about tonight. Jin's restaurant that he owned with his brother was a perfect place for us. His brother would ensure the staff would be decreet and keep secrecy while we were there. Other than dinner, though, Namjoon wasn't telling me anything else.

Namjoon shook his head. "It's private. I don't think it's a good idea to talk so openly about our dates with you two."

Like always, I wanted to tease and push him. "Why not? I'm ok with you talking about our dates with them."

Namjoon didn't look impressed but stayed quiet.

I gave him a smile.

Yoongi nodded and played along. "Yeah, we're all family here. I feel like Mayawi is my older sister. I would like to know what your intentions are with her tonight," he said with a straight face, looking at Namjoon straight in the eye.

Namjoon continued eating his noodles, ignoring his brother.

I wanted to see how long he could last without talking. "Oh, I hope his intentions are all impure."

Jin sounded like a windshield next to me.

Yoongi didn't break character, though, his face stayed straight. "Have you two discussed the use of protection?"

"Oh, I got back on the pill precisely for this reason. He better take me raw tonight. I want his cock fully submerged in my—"

I was suddenly off the ground and felt myself go upside down. True caveman style, Namjoon had thrown me over his shoulder.

"You're done. Put our food in the bag," Namjoon's ordered his hyungs.

Yoongi had joined Jin in on the laughter.

Upside down, I could only see and feel Namjoon's sweaty back. I kicked my legs. "Ya!"

Namjoon's arm tightened around my thighs, keeping me steady as I heard a bag being handed over.

I looked over his body and found Jin and Yoongi practically rolling on the floor.

Namjoon began to walk towards the exit.

"Put me down," I smacked his back, but not with too much force. I was finding this too amusing myself. It was kind of a turn-on how he was manhandling me.

"I'm putting you on time out. Gonna have you with your arms raised for at least an hour," Namjoon said to me. I knew his tone well enough to know he wasn't serious.

"Want me to lend you the paddle Unni and I use when she's being naughty?" Jin called out as we got closer to the door.

I pushed up Namjoon's back to give Jin a grossed-out face. "Ewwww."

Thankfully, no one was in the halls as we made our way up the elevator and to Rkive where Namjoon used slow, torturous dry humping as punishment. He didn't let me cum. Asshole.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Of course, the date ended up getting postponed, yet again. Thankfully, though, it finally came a couple of weeks later.

I met Namjoon in a private room at Jin's restaurant. I was led through a private entrance by Jin's brother. Right at entering the private room, I just about melted at the sight in front of me.

Namjoon welcomed me with the warmest smile, his deep dimples glowing. He had a long sleeve, beige dress shirt with a pair of black slacks and black dress boots. The slacks put great focus on one of his best features: his long legs. The shirt tugged at his best angles, highlighting his biceps and muscular chest. A part of me wanted to push him down into his chair and take claim of him.

"Hey, handsome. You look good enough to eat," I said genuinely as I ogled at him.

"You're one to talk. You look gorgeous," he said as he let his eyes roam up and down my tropical print dress. "New dress?"

"No, I just don't typically wear this. It's a little too expensive to just wear casually," I said as I caught his eyes lingering on my legs and ass. I was liking how responsive he was.

Knowing his fashion, he took a guess at the designer. He was right.

"I'm lucky I have a deal with them," I said, "Otherwise, there's no way I would have bought this dress. It's way out of my price comfort." I loved the way the material felt on me, and I knew it accentuated my curves just right, but the price for it was too much.

"Girl, I'll happily buy you seven pair of these if it meant you wearing it every day," Namjoon said in a low voice and almost in a rush. I almost didn't hear what he had said.

And by the look of surprise on his face, he didn't mean to say this out loud either.

He was instantly embarrassed and cleared his throat to conceal it. "Should we sit down?" he asked, motioning to the table.

I nodded and together we sat down.

The date went along nicely. We were treated with a nice bottle of wine before our crates full of food was brought to us. Namjoon spilled some wine—thankfully, our clothes were saved but couldn't say the same to the sauces. Because we were in a private room with no staff around us, we ended up cleaning the table ourselves, laughing throughout the mess.

At first, we ate the meats and veggies using the one sauce that had been spared. However, we figured out quickly that some of the wine had spilled into this sauce as well. With the steamed food holding no flavor, the sauces were essential for giving the food seasoning.

"Ah, I really know how to make a night memorable," Namjoon said as he shook his head, a smile lightly touching his lips.

"I hate boring dates, so this is perfect," I said honestly as I chewed down my bland bok choy.

At precisely that moment the one staff member who was serving us entered and saw what had occurred. Namjoon immediately apologized as the server hurried to bring us more sauces and replaced the dirty towels.

"Would you like more wine?" the server asked, but Namjoon turned it down, stating he was too worried about ruining that wine as well.

Once the server was gone, we went back to our casual conversation as we enjoyed a much tastier dinner.

Somewhere in the middle of dinner, he moved to the seat next to me, getting incredibly close. His arm rested on the back of my chair as he took some meat and fed me. I gave a sound of approval as I ate.

He stared at my lips. "You look cute when you chew."

I was about to protest him calling me cute again when his luscious, full lips shushed me. Instantly, I forgot about my annoyance and fell into his shoulder. He opened his mouth, deepening the kiss. My tongue welcomed it.

As I enjoyed the moment, I couldn't help but find it odd how everything with Namjoon felt so easy. How was it that everything we were doing felt so natural? Shouldn't a feeling of strangeness have come over by now?

His lips pulled away, making me pout.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" Namjoon's deep and rich voice echoed in my ears as his lips skimmed down my neck. "I can hear it working."

I felt a shiver make its way through me. I reached up and stroked the ends of his hair as I spoke my thoughts out loud. "Are you weirded out yet?"

He pulled away at this, confusion written over his face. "What do you mean?"

I wanted to pull him back to me but restrained from doing so. "We've known each other for a decade and have been friends for years. And in the span of not even a month, all of that changed. It's not the same anymore. Has the change thrown you off?"

Namjoon took a breath and thought for a moment. "I don't think so."

"How? How are you not weirded out by this?" Now that I was allowing myself to think about it, I really wanted to know.

"Is it strange for you?" he asked back, his eyes looking a little concerned.

I shook my head. "No. And I think I'm weirding out because I'm not weirded out. Does that make sense?"

He laughed. "Oddly, yes. It feels almost…natural? Like, I should feel reluctant in touching you or feel odd when I kiss or touch you—and I do feel some nervousness—but it feels more right than it does weird."

I nodded, completely understanding.

He reached down and took my hand in his, his eyes not quite meeting mine. "What we're doing feels like…the most natural next step."

My eyes slid away from his face, nerves beginning to kick in. But it was a different kind of nerves that I usually felt. His words were ringing true, and it was worrying me a little.

He must have picked up on my worry. He lightly touched my chin, making me meet his eyes. "We're still going slow, though. I promise."

My heart rate slowed down.

He gave me a half smile and brushed his lips on my nose. "Ready to head out?" he asked softly as he pressed his forehead against mine.

I breathed in his woodsy scent, calming myself. "Yes," I answered.

With another peck on my nose, he pulled away, got his phone out, and sent a quick message. He then stood up, dropped several bills on the table, and took my hand.

As we walked to the door, we both put on our masks. Once we opened the door, our server was waiting outside. Namjoon let go of my hand before anyone could see our intimate touch, informed the server we would be leaving, and we both gave our thanks for the meal.

The driver was right outside the back, private entrance. We made it inside the car without anyone spotting us.

I wasn't sure where our next destination was but didn't have to wait too long to take a good guess. We arrived at Namjoon's apartment in good time.

After making our way through the security, we reached our destination. We thanked the driver and headed into the building. There were several people out, so we mostly kept quiet. Thankfully, we didn't get too many looks. Not only were we covered up, but even if we were recognized, people in the community had seen Namjoon and me hanging around each other enough for them not to get too suspicious.

Once inside the apartment, Namjoon offered to take my purse and hung it for me.

"Wine?" he asked as I took off my shoes.

I gave a nod and then followed him to the kitchen.

As he served us, there was silence between us. And awkwardness—he wasn't looking at me and his breathing had changed.

We took our first sips, but still, no words were said. The nerves were at an all-time high.

"Well, now it feels weird," he said awkwardly and took another sip, some of the wine spilling from the corner of his lips.

I immediately chuckled, some of the wine spilling out as well. "I spoke too soon. My bad."

"Ah, it was bound to happen." He finally looked at me and I felt a mixture of tension and calmness come from his warm eyes.

I instinctively was drawn in. "What was next on your plan?" I asked.

"Picking a great wine," he said.

I lifted the glass to my lips. "Check."

"Maybe having some ice cream outside and enjoying the night sky." He walked a little closer to me, his voice got a little lower, making my chest tingly.

I tilted my head in a flirtatious way. "And then?"

"I'd have a blanket prepared because you get cold easily. We would snuggle a bit as we talked into the night." He was now close enough for his arm to snake around my waist.

I placed my glass on the counter and stepped into his embrace. "And then?"

"We could fool around a little." His voice was now a full octave lower than a moment ago.

I clung to his arms, keeping myself steady. "Outside? In the open? That sounds kind of frisky, Kim Namjoon."

"I would have carried you back inside before you got too loud." His fingers were moving up my back, lightly stroking me.

My fingers crawled up to his neck and tugged. "You like making me loud."

"Which is why I would have brought you inside. Your voice would wake the entire city."

"That's kind of cocky of you," I teased. "You think you can get me to be that loud?"

"Are you doubting me?" He gave me a teasing look back.

I remembered his fingers; his thick lips on my mound. I felt myself getting wet at knowing I was about to experience it again. I had zero doubts he could make me scream loud enough to gain unwanted attention.

Needing him closer, I tugged at his collar. His lips easily came to mine.

The nerves from a while ago were all but gone as our lips claimed each other.

We were supposed to take it slow, but our bodies had other plans. Now that we had privacy and time, our desires were finally free to do what they pleased. Not to mention the alcohol had calmed us.

I was tugging at his dress shirt when I felt coldness against my skin. I realized my dress was gone; I was standing before him in a matching set of black, lacy lingerie. I was much too focused on taking unbuttoning his dress shirt that I almost missed the sound that came out of him.

Confused, I looked up at him and found him staring at my bra and underwear. His mouth was open wide, drooling. His reaction certainly made me blush, but I was confident with my body that I felt more pride than embarrassment.

I didn't work out much, preferring to accept my curves. I liked my thighs, which were thicker than the average girl's, and I also liked my round ass and full breasts. I would never have a model, stick-figure body—the slender kind that Namjoon tended to date. But judging by the way his eyes roamed over me, I didn't doubt his attractiveness to me.

I pushed open the rest of his shirt, then went to his zipper and belt. "Ok, you've had your fill, now can you help me out? I want to drool over you, too."

He turned a little red at being caught staring at me but tried to hide it by helping me.

I bit my lip as I saw his bulge pushing against his briefs. I couldn't help myself and took his clothed member in my palm.

He let out a heavy groan. "Shit."

I palmed his balls as I leaned in and pecked his skin. "I missed you," I let out.

Suddenly, I was being lifted. My arms instinctively took to his arms to keep steady; my legs wrapping around his hips.

"I think we're going to skip the ice cream and just head straight into the bedroom," he grunted out as he walked the two of us out of the kitchen.

I giggled into his neck as we passed the living room and got closer to the master bedroom. "No complaints here." I dipped in and nipped the back of his neck.

He stumbled a bit, tripping over something. He lost control of holding me, trying to keep himself upright. I felt myself falling, letting out a yelp. Thankfully, a soft surface broke my fall. We had made it to his bed right on time.

His face was full of surprise and slight worry. "Sorry."

I let out a laugh, knowing he didn't mean to drop me so unceremoniously.

He joined in on the laugh, but it died down as he stared down at me. "You look damn good," he seemed to mumble more to himself.

He was one to talk. He was sculptured like a goddamn god. Not quite Thor but was definitely an Adonis.

We held eye contact for a while, not speaking a word. But then he got onto the bed as his eyes traveled up my body. The familiar look in his eyes was back, the one that made him look like an ancient predator. He looked like a dragon getting ready to take his meal.

He paused at my thighs, and he descended to them. His lips were like butterfly wings as they adored my skin. He took a pause once reaching the place where my legs joined, breathing in my scent. He leaned in, touching the top of my mound through my panties.

My half-lidded eyes were getting heavier, but I kept them from fully closing. He looked too fucking beautiful to miss.

His eyes looked up and caught my own. The hunger and wildness in them weren't hard to miss.

Keeping his slit eyes on mine, his fingers came to the bottom of my panties. He didn't remove them but he had a hesitant look in his eyes. Silently, he was asking permission.

I nodded my head franticly, feeling my pussy get wet at the anticipation. I reached behind me, taking one of his pillows and prompting it behind me, getting comfortable for the show.

Still keeping his eyes on mine, he pushed the panties aside, revealing my wet pussy. He brought a hand to his mouth, lubricating his fingers. Then, lightly, he touched my bottom lips.

My stomach grew warm at feeling his digits slide up and down.

As he stimulated the outside of my entrance with his fingers, he lowered himself until his face was inches from my core. He wasted no time and dived right in, his lips claiming my clit.

My body trembled at his touch.

"So responsive," he admired. One of his fingers slid inside, my juices becoming the new lubricant he needed to work me.

His finger began moved in a circular motion inside me as his tongue moved in to lick the inside of my lips. He then moved upward, his lips fully wrapping around my sensitive spot. His tongue darted out, making me mewl underneath him.

My eyes could no longer stay open. I gave in to the feeling of it all.

Another finger entered me as his tongue moved back down to my entrance. His tongue darted in and out of his mouth, entering and exiting me at a fast pace. Another finger penetrated me. But his strokes moved to that of a snail's pace. It was slimy but felt fucking delicious.

His fingers rubbed against my mound with a bit of roughness as his other fingers gently glided in and out of me. The sensation was enough to make me feel like I was going to combust, but the friction wasn't what my body needed to climax.

"Fuck. Faster," I let out in desperation, arching my hips and bringing them down roughly on his fingers.

I heard and felt his laugh against my cunt. "Patience. We have all night." His lips wrapped around my clit again and sucked in as his fingers inside me curled up and rubbed against my inner walls.

It felt so damn good that my entire back arched from the bed. His deliciously, long fingers on my g-spot were what I needed to get off. If he kept this up, I could reach my high in no time.

But then his lips stopped slurping, keeping me from reaching my orgasm.

I let out a curse.

His eyes stayed on my cunt as some spit came down from his mouth and fell right into my clit. His fingers went back to work inside me, drops of sweat falling from him. He looked so fucking sexy.

"It's your turn next, don't forget," I warned.

He chuckled. "I like when you get hot and bothered." His fingers curled back inside me, hitting a very sensitive spot. Hearing me moan, he continued to hit it at a sudden and fast pace.

The change of pace was so unexpected that I let out a wail of pleasure, my back coming off the bed again. "Fuck!" I clutched the duvet underneath me, needing something to anchor me.

He pushed his face back onto my cunt, sucking me as if he wanted to dry me up. My hips thrust against him. "That's it, girl. Fuck my face." The tone he had used during our nights in the forest was back. The low and stern one he used when giving me a command.

I moaned and did as I was told. I wrapped my legs around his neck and back, keeping him caged on my pussy. My hips went up and down, needing to find release. His fingers became more erratic. And then I felt it; so close. His tongue darted out and stroked my clit and that's all I needed. My body stiffened and quickly broke into a rapid shake.

My hands had made it to his hair and began to tug as I heard myself let out a keen noise full of desire. "God!" I let out as my body shook from the ecstasy.

Namjoon's hands and lips made their way up my body, lightly massaging me, and bringing me down from my high. "You ok?"

I felt an aftershock shiver and took a breath. "So good." I looked up at him, his face close to mine. I reached up, needing him.

He leaned in and gave me his lips. Fuck, I tasted good mixed in his mouth.

For a moment we shared a sweet kiss, letting my body settle down. But the bulge in his briefs kept rubbing against my thigh, I couldn't ignore it any longer.

I reached between us and took him in my hand.

He let out a moan as I stroked his big cock over the cloth that covered him.

I brought my hand to my mouth, making him pull away. Keeping eye contact with him, I licked my hand, hinting to him my plan and like him, I asked silent permission.

His eyes were darker, hungrier. He gave a short nod.

Using my lubricated hand, I dug inside his briefs and wrapped my hands around his thick member. Another moan.

I held him a little firmly, working my hand up and down his length. I spit into my other hand and used it to massage his balls.

"Shit," he let out.

"I want you in my mouth," I breathed out, looking him in eye, begging him for permission.

He didn't say anything, so I took it to mean it was alright.

I pushed down his briefs, his cock springing out fully erect and demanding attention. I forgot how thick and long he was. I couldn't wait for my pussy to take him.

My tongue pushed out and traced the underside of his cock. I followed the thick vein there. God, I was getting wet simply by staring at the gorgeous vein. I looked up at him as my mouth came close to his pink mushroom head. I slowly wrapped my lips around him, my tongue pressing against him. I made a sucking sound as I darted my head up and down an inch.

"Fuck." He let out a shaky breath.

I slowly descended on his cock, taking as much of him into my mouth and throat as I was able to. When he hit the back of my throat, I stayed there hollowing my cheeks as much as I could. I pushed in a little more, getting all but a few inches of him in me.

Namjoon reached over and held my face. "Don't hurt yourself." He said cautiously but looked so aroused.

I wanted to see how much more aroused I could make him. I angled my head differently, allowing my throat more access to push another inch of him in me. I began to make a gagging sound, my throat burning from the stretch. Fuck, did this feel hot. I breathed in through my nose and stayed there as my throat throbbed around him. The gagging was getting more intense.

And it was turning him on as well. "Shit!" His hips thrust up; I was certain involuntarily.

My nose touched his lower abdomen. A feeling of triumph came over me as I lifted my head up a few inches but went back down. I pulled back up and looked straight at him, he looked out of it. I pushed down once again until my nose touched his stomach then pulled fully out.

An immense quantity of thick spit made its way out of my mouth and covered his cock. I gasped in a heaping amount of air, my lungs and throat burning. I used the thick spit as lube to stroke him, wanting to keep him stimulated.

I noticed Namjoon's chest was getting drenched in sweat. He sat up and took hold of my neck, pulling my lips to meet his. I moaned against him, knowing he was tasting himself on me.

He pulled away slightly. "You're on the pill?"

I nodded, earnestly. "Yeah."

"I have a condom," he offered.

I shook his head. "I want to feel you."

He growled and reclaimed my lips. He reached around me and unclasped my bra.

As he took off my bra, I tossed my panties to the side, desperately wanting all items that stood in between us.

He settled me higher in the bed, multiple pillows beneath me now. He stroked my pussy, ensuring I was wet before taking his member and placing it at my entrance. My eyes were glued on his pink head as it pushed passed my lips. I instantly felt stretched.

I let out a deep moan. "Fuck, you're big," I let out as he pushed a couple more inches in. My walls felt tight around him.

"Sorry," he said quickly and paused.

I felt my pussy cry out. It wanted him deeper. "Handsome, the gods blessed you with a beautiful piece, don't ever apologize. It's just gonna take a minute to adjust," I ensured him. "It's been a while." I took another breath, trying to get past the stinging.

"Tell me when you're ready," Namjoon said patiently. His hands began to stroke my sides softly.

I took another breath, feeling my walls open and adjust around him. "You can move a little more."

He checked my face first before he slid further inside my tight pussy. His pace was slow and perfect. It felt good, but it seemed there was no end to how deep he was going inside me. I was getting worried about how much more of him there was left when finally, I felt his balls hit my bottom. He was so fucking deep, my walls tightened and loosened repeatedly. I felt so fucking full.

He pressed his head against mine and took in a deep breath himself. "I've never fully entered someone at the first go. Shit, you feel fucking amazing."

I raised my leg to hitch it around his hip. The angle allowed even more of him to enter.

It evoked another moan from both of us.

There was a burning in my stomach. A need. "Move. Please," I said, my cunt started to burn. I rotated my hips, needing some friction.

He pulled his body back up and began to move at a steady pace, pulling out slowly and coming back in.

I wrapped my other leg around him and met his thrusts.

His hands came to my lower back, making me arch my back. He stared down at my swaying tits as I moved underneath him. "Shit, you're so good."

I squeezed around him, thanking him for the praise.

His eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his sockets by my movement. His hips pushed forward with a harsher drive, his hands gripping my hips and pulling them forward to meet his movements.

A long whine came out of me at the feeling.

He pulled back until he was almost fully out of me and then pushed forward in quickness, his balls slapping my ass. The powerful thrust took the wind out of me and made my cunt feel fucking good. "Again," I begged.

He made the same motion, only a little rougher and with more intensity. My walls felt like they were being stretched to the brink.

And even though he felt incredible, I still wanted more. I pulled him out of me and sat up, instantly feeling empty.

He looked a little confused by my movement, but when he saw me get on all fours, he understood. I brought myself right against his hips and reached over to grab his long cock, positioning it against my entrance. He let me guide him inside. Once the head entered, he took over.

He held onto my hips and went back to his prior pace. The new position allowed for two other things: he went deeper and I had more control of my movements. I was able to sway my hips and bounce my round ass against him.

I placed my head on the bed, my ass in the air as I stroked his shaft with my pussy.

He stayed still, watching me work him. His eyes were mesmerized and glued to his shaft coming in and out of my pussy. He looked like he wanted to do something but was hesitating in doing it. I hoped it was the same thing I wanted.

"Grab my ass," I said in a way that was almost like a question.

His eyes traveled up to mine, making sure I meant what I had said. I gave him a nod and his eyes went back to where we were joined. My ass jiggled on his cock, taunting him, begging for attention. He still looked hesitant, so I decided to push him. I pulled forward until only his head was inside me then quickened my movements. I backed up into him, taking him fully in, my walls stretching at his size. I squeezed around him, letting out a wail because how stretched I felt.

He let out a curse and I felt a sting on my ass. I let out a whimper from the delicious pain.

"Sorry," he said quickly, knowing that was not what I had asked for.

"Again," I begged, rotating my hips again.

He let out a groan and obliged, the sound of flesh ringing in the room getting louder. Digging his fingers into my flesh, he began to thrust. His powerful thighs hit the back of my own with such intense force, I was pushed down onto the pillows. He worked himself in and out of me, craving release. I let out so many sounds as he plunged into me, claiming me.

Along with my moans and groans, the sound of my dripping pussy could be heard in the entire room. I felt my juices drenching down my thighs. Namjoon's precum was a part of the mixture as well. He had to be close.

"You're so fucking wet," he said, sweat starting to drip off him and falling onto my backside.

I reached underneath me, stimulating my clit to reach my own release. "Fucking take me."

His eyes followed my hand. "Want me to?" His pace didn't slow, however.

I nodded frantically, moving my hand so his could take over.

His fingers were rougher than mine. And to reach my release, I needed it rough. "Yes," I moaned out, my hips still moving on him.

I felt him bend over and hover over mine. "I'm close," he let out, his breath hot on my neck. His fingers never left me.

"Me too. Cum inside," I said. I moved my hips, reaching for my high.

With one more movement by Namjoon's fingers, I finally came. My body quaked in pleasure. My legs quivering so much, I couldn't keep them up.

Namjoon's arms held them in place as he continued to thrust into me, trying to get to his own release. It didn't take long. He pushed in one final time, the power making my body slightly jump and clench onto the duvet.

I felt his warm spunk inside me, and I let out a moan of pleasure. I had a kink for cum inside me. The thought of someone being so close to impregnating me was such a turn-on. Of course, it was pure fantasy. I wasn't ready at all for motherhood, but it was pretty hot to think about.

Namjoon's hot and sweaty body fell on top of mine, his breath hot against my neck. "Shit."

I moaned at the feeling of him on top of me. "Not bad for our first time, huh?"

His lips lingered against my neck, pecking me. "Sure had you screaming."

"Not enough to wake the neighbors, though," I teased.

He pushed his hips forward, his cock still inside me and hitting my g-spot again.

A whimper came out of me at the movement, I was still sensitive.

He let out a chuckle and rolled us to our sides, we were still attached.

I turned my head to look at him and gave him a small smile. "Weirded out at all?"

"Far from it." He wrapped his arm around my middle. "I have a feeling I'm not gonna want to leave this bed at all, though."

I grinned at the thought of it. "Yes, please." I snuggled closer to him, liking the feeling of his sticky and messy skin against mine.

"I wanted us to go on a bike ride tomorrow morning, though," he said with a pout.

"Oh, I'm totally up for riding something all morning long," I said with a grin, squeezing him.

He let out a growl and reached down to claim my lips. It wasn't long before he was thrusting inside of me again.

______________________

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30

MASTERLIST

#rm #rm x reader #inthemiddleofthenight #bts #bts fanfic #bangtan sonyeondan #friends to lovers #kim namjoon #fluff and smut #secret relationship #Spotify #rm x maya #bts rm #namjoon fanfic #namjoon x reader

25 notes · View notes