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ambrosiagoldfish · 2 months

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I've never sent a request before, but I'm fiending for more adam, like anything, anything at all

Benefit of the doubt

Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader

Viewer discretion is advised

Warnings: Angst(?), Not exactly fluff at the end but it gets better, typical Adam TW’s, reader low-key high-key has a complex about being loved, this is set way before the show, and Gn! Reader. (Also Y/n isn’t used, which also surprised me, the author, LMAO)

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Request Box: Open

Word count: 1760

A/N: Hi! Thanks for the request! I haven’t had a chance to write something that was originally my own idea in a while, so this was very refreshing! I’ve had this idea since I’ve watched the show so I hope you enjoy it!

I’m entirely up for making a small series from this oneshot, but I would need to know y’all’s opinion on it! (So don’t feel scared to let me know if you want some more of this idea in my Request box/the replies on this post!!)

Also Adam may be slightly OOC but please just chalk it up to him not yet getting his ego’s dick sucked 24/7

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy, let me know if you do!

Proofread but of course could have left mistakes!

You’ve existed for almost all of human existence, Almost.

You were the 4th being to be created during the time of Eden. But unlike the other 3, you weren’t human. In fact, you technically never lived before. An honestly hopeless existence, yet it was so beautiful in every way. But for what purpose? Well…

You were created shortly after Eve ate the apple, before she and eventually Adam committed the first act of sin that caused evil to latch onto humanity like a leech.

The reason for your existence was simple. To be Adam’s new spouse, except for when after he died. From the very moment Eve bit the fruit of temptation, it was already decided she would hold no place in heaven. Adam was given mercy due to him not possessing any knowledge of the fruit Eve had shared with him, he trusted her wholeheartedly. Which is exactly why heaven gave him mercy… no, pity would be a better choice of words.

Upon your creation you learned immediately of the happenings before your existence. About Lilith and Eve, and about Lucifer

And so, after Adam and Eve were casted away from the Garden, they continued to live their lives, fostering the existence of mankind for the rest of time. And when they eventually died, Adam was given pity while Eve was thrown to the wayside, the vast unknown.

You thought it was finally your time to experience existence with the one you loved, the one you were made for. Of course you never would know life as he did but surely your life never-after life could be just as meaningful as his.

How excited you were, how completely enamored by the thought of it. But there was a problem with that, Adam had grown into a new person, he was meant to of course, he was human. But he had grown selfish, abhorrent… insecure.

You understood why, to be betrayed by not one but two of his wives for the same person. You couldn’t possibly imagine what he could be feeling. Before you were to meet your future husband, Sera informed you that he had asked for a mask, and once on, he has refused to take it off.

That didn’t bother you, it’s irrelevant to your love for him. You've only heard descriptions of his features. Short Brown hair, gold eyes, bushy eyebrows, some scruff on his chin. All in all, he sounded perfectly fine, ordinary even. But even then it’s his choice to wear the mask, so you’ll respect it.

Finally, the time he arrived in heaven, and when Sera finally introduced you, his new spouse, the one to whom would be by his side for the rest of forever.

He rejected you outright.

“What?” Your breath hitched as you stuttered over the word, the sharp inhale of your lungs through your mouth flicked through the air.

Sera looked just as shocked as you but she quickly regained her composure “What is the meaning of this Adam?”

“If you think I’m going to let my life get fucked over by another one of your “gifts” well, you’ve got another thing coming!” He crossed his arms and shook his head defyingly. “I’ve already learned my lesson with those last 2 bitches.”

“Adam I’m sorry that happened to you but I would never-“ almost like lightning his finger shot to your mouth, shushing you.

“Save it, Sweetcheeks, I really don’t care what you have to say, so just stay there and look pretty, k?” His hand fell and grabbed the sides of your face, squishing your cheeks together, his LED mask flashing a sharp smile.

You saddeningly looked down at the clouds below you.

“Adam!” Sera’s voice sounded through the air, still soft but firm, she continued, placing a hand on your shoulder, “Divine judgment allowed you to be the first human soul in heaven, so I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I expect you to give your new spouse that same grace.”

Slowly your eyes looked up at Sera with a soft smile. Adam only groaned “Ugh, Fine but don’t be fuxking annoying, capiche?” You nod your head quickly.

“Very good, glad we have it settled.” Sera gives a quick smile, “now, I have some business to take care of so I’ll leave you two alone to get to know one another” With that, Sera flew away leaving the both of you alone.

The silence was thick in the air, the only sound being the occasional wind breeze blowing past. The sunlight creeps in through the clouds painting an orange sky above you both. In every sense of the word, it was perfect.

It was almost funny. You had waited so long to finally meet him, your true love, the one you were made for. All the things you dreamed about, the laughs you’d have together, the warm embrace of the person who you loved. But now… you didn’t know what to say…

“I’m… happy to finally meet you.” Your voice is quiet, almost non-audible. “I’ve been waiting for you since… well, forever…”

He doesn’t respond. He seems to be transfixed on something below you both. You train your eyes on whatever he’s watching only to see the dark cavernous abyss below you. Finally he breaks his silence.

“The fuck is that?” He asked pointing down, a sound of genuine intrigue hidden behind his abrasive voice

“That’s hell?” You stated confused “where would-be sinners will go to be punished, didnt you k-“ you suddenly realized that perhaps Adam really didn’t know what hell was. It was only created relatively recently, after Eve and Him ate the apple, of course he wouldn’t know. “it’s also where Lucifer-“

“Don’t fucking say his name.” Adam spoke, his voice rough in his speech. LED mask putting a harsh frown on his face. “Let’s get one thing straight M”Kay babe, if you’re my “new spouse” that’s something you should remember.” The “new spouse” was said with a tone clearly meant to mock you.

“Sorry…”

“Ugh, It’s fine, just don’t do it again.” He groaned before a wicked smile crept onto his mask “Sooo, that means he’s going to be stuck with all the wasteful beings of existence, HA fuxkin’ hilarious. Guess that makes them the losers and us the Winners!”

His laugh filled the air, the sound was like music to your ears, sure maybe it wasn’t really what you’d hoped he’d fine funny, but you loved it all the same but eventually his laugh died down

Silence again… in admits of all of it you suddenly was sparked with a thought “oh!” Adam looked confused at the random exclamation. “I had almost forgotten… I brought you something, as a welcome gift or was it a nice to meet you gift? Both? Eh, it doesn’t matter but the point is-“ you suddenly snap your fingers.

Golden light began shining, the light seemed like liquid hot magma as it moved and molded slowly into a shape. Light seemed to be overlapping and churning into itself, forming your desired outcome. With one final snap of your fingers, the gleaming gold liquid took hold, and quickly hardened to a solid.

The object that had formed quickly fell down, landing in your arms with a light thud.

“I’m still learning this creation stuff, so I’m sorry if it’s not perfect but-“ you hold out the object in your arms as an invitation to grab it “I learned from Sera that you liked to play guitar when you were alive, so I thought you might like to have one here…”

Adam looked at the instrument in your hands. The base color was gold, the neck was pearly white with gold strings. To be honest it looked more like a harp then anything, like if a guitar and a harp had a baby.

Silence again. Did he not like it? Did he hate it? You go to pull it back to you and apologize when suddenly it’s ripped out from your hands.

“Holyshit, this is sick as Fuck!” Adam immediately started playing some rifts on the new guitar. The sound wasn’t what you were expecting but you guess Sera was right about his talent with the instrument. The whole time his mask had a wide and sharp smile as he mimicked guitar sounds with his voice, the occasional laugh leaving his mouth.

“I’m really glad you like it” you say, a sigh of relief leaving your body.

Adam looked at you, one you missed. He saw how relieved you were, how nice you were being. No person who supposedly loved him ever gifted him something, well, one other did. Someone he trusted and loved more than everyone, anyone. But look how that ended, with them being removed from the garden, away from an eternity of happiness until he died. All from someone giving him what he thought was nothing but love, a gift.

But he could see that this was different, you were different. When Eve gave him the apple, she didn’t explain what it was or why she wanted him to eat it, even when he asked her she didn’t explain. But with you, you had not only given him something you knew he liked but also expressed the reason behind it. Yes, you were different, even Adam could see it.

“Anyways, thanks for the axe, I guess…” Adam for the first time was stunned, but quickly he continued “What was the thing that Sera chick said about me and “divine judgment” or whatever the fuck? That she gave me the “benefit of the doubt…”

You were a bit confused but continued listening, “I guess I should at least try to give you a chance, since you got me this sick ass guitar an’ shit.” Your face lit up, you about began to speak before you were, once again, shushed “B-B-But-” his finger tapped your lips with each repeated syllable ”-only a chance. If you betray me like those last 2 bitches then you’re done, got it?”

To say you were overjoyed would be an understatement, a smile quickly plastered across your face as you quickly nodded your head

“Alright good, so uh, what do ya say about showing me the best places to get a bite to eat around here, I could really go for some ribs right about now.”

“ I’d… love to, thank you Adam”

“Yeah don’t mention it Sweetcheeks” Adam quickly wrapped his arm around your shoulder and you two began walking.

Maybe you will get your eternity of happiness.you can only pray you do.

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hausofneptune · 4 months

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aspects/placements i love (and hate!) in my chart pt. 1

[astro notes no. 003]

hey y’all! i felt like going through some of my personal aspects/placements and describing the “positive” and “negative” ways they’ve manifested in my life, so here we are. this ended up being longer than i thought it would, so i'll end up doing a part two since i really enjoyed making this!

disclaimers | masterlist | ask

venus conj. neptune in aquarius (1°03’) in the 1H

this is one of my favorite placements. i feel like this + my pisces sun can make me appear to others as “ethereal” at times, but if i’m keeping it a buck, it also makes me extremely evasive. i have a good amount of aquarius influence in my chart as well, so all of this combined definitely makes me feel like i have to put in effort to not come off as too impersonal, especially towards my loved ones.

having neptune in my 1H also makes me feel like people perceive me to be someone that i’m not. like even my close friends and family, i don’t feel like anyone actually understands who i am, and i don’t think i’ve ever had a relationship (platonic, romantic, or familial) where i felt like i was seen for who i actually am, or where i was able to connect to somebody on a deeper, spiritual level. i can also over-romanticize people and situations at times, but i’ve grown out of this habit… for the most part.

i’ve always been an extremely creative/artistic person. i’ve been drawing, painting, writing, and singing since i was a kid, and i even sell my artwork now as an adult. i’m extremely imaginative, but i do have to be careful to not get too in my head and forget to participate in reality, if that makes sense. i’ve also had issues with dissociation and memory loss throughout my life. i feel like my lived experience has more to do with that, but i can see how the Neptunian influence in my chart could play a role in it as well.

venus opposite north node in the 7H (1°40’)

there are some placements that convince me that the universe was tryna be funny when it made my birth chart. this is one of them. i have so many things in my chart that can make it challenging at times to form meaningful, trustful relationships with other people, and it’s interesting to me the fact that my spiritual growth is something that’s supposed to be found… through my relationships with other people. i try not to victimize myself too much and look at things from an objective lens, but i would be lying if i said it didn’t feel like people find it convenient to have me in their lives only when i allow them to view me in a way that makes them feel the most comfortable.

like i mentioned, i can be very avoidant, it’s something i’m working on. but i know that it’s possible for me to have fulfilling connections with other people, and obviously with this placement it’s something i need to work through my aversion to, seeing as my self-development and spiritual growth is something that’s extremely important to me and deep down i do want to want to experience having meaningful, healthy relationships.

sun sextile lilith (within 3.0°) in the 11H / chiron in the 11H

let me tell you, most of the people i’ve been friends with over the years, regardless of gender, hypersexualize the fuck out of me. especially the men i’ve been friends with, majority of them had feelings for me that i never reciprocated. i was actually friends with a girl in high school who’s moon fell in my 8H, and in hindsight she had a very unhinged, borderline obsession with me. she would speak to me, and get mad at me, as if we were in a relationship together, and did not understand any type of boundaries that you’re supposed to have with someone you’re friends with. i don’t hold it against her now as an adult, but we definitely don’t speak to each other anymore.

i’ve also encountered issues in regards to the relationships i've with women, mainly when i was younger though, the women i’m acquainted with now i have healthy, normal friendships with (thank god). but i’ve had friendships with girls where they secretly didn’t like me, they were secretly attracted to me, or both. and i don't mean this in a weird, misogynistic, "pick me i'm different!" type of way at all, this is just a pattern i picked up on with some of the women i've met throughout my life.

in regards to having chiron in my 11H, my sore spot is most definitely my friendships. on top of feeling misunderstood and objectified in the friendships i’ve had, i’ve also experienced trauma at the hands of people i thought were my friends. and i always do my best to exercise being mindful and self-aware, and i’m definitely not on some “i’ve always been the perfect friend and people hurt me regardless, boo-hoo, woe-is-me” type shit, because i’ve definitely hurt people in my lifetime. but in terms of how these placements have manifested, i’ve always encountered difficulty in connecting to others, and i’m just now getting to a point where i feel comfortable enough to even attempt to try making new friends again.

and this is what i mean when i say: astrology is a tool that you can use for shit that is more important than your appearance and future partner! it wasn’t until my 12H profection year when i started studying traditional astrology and learned how to read charts, that i actually began to understand myself on a deeper level and gained the confidence to end friendships that no longer served me and made new ones that actually do.

chiron in my 11H also makes me feel inclined to take on a “therapist” role in my friendships, something that can be good or bad depending on whether the boundaries are there or not. i tend to attract people who like to trauma dump on me (that’s my moon in the 8H influence too), and i have to actively put boundaries in place and make sure people around me understand that i have to be in the right mindset to hold space for them. there aren’t a lot of pisces sun stereotypes that i can relate to, but being an emotional sponge is definitely one that i can. unfortunately.

moon and ceres in virgo in the 8H

LMAOOO this one might be a little heavy. i apologize in advance. feel free to skip this one if you don’t want to hear about parental/maternal loss or my mommy issues <3

my relationship with my mom is without a doubt where a lot of my emotional avoidance comes from. that plus my moon being in the 8H makes me very guarded when it comes to emotional vulnerability, even with the people i’m closest to. without telling a bunch of strangers on the internet too much of my business, here are the sparknotes:

my home life growing up (and to this day lowkey) never felt stable

it never felt like i could feel my emotions without them “consuming” me, this was mainly an issue in my youth, i was around 12-years-old when i started going to therapy and taking antidepressants

my mom battled a chronic disease her entire life and passed away when i was a teenager

i’ve always craved to have deep, spiritual connections with people, and ever since i was a kid i’ve been extremely intuitive and had the ability to read a room and everyone in it without anyone having to speak, but i typically attract people who are either emotionally unavailable, or emotionally unstable in some way, probably because i come off as “closed off” on the surface.

in terms of my relationship with my mom, i love her but i could never be vulnerable with her about a damn thing, like i never really felt “heard” by her. she was a taurus sun, scorpio moon, with an aries stellium, as soon as she had her mind made up about something it didn’t really matter how i felt (pluto also falls in my 10H, and i definitely viewed her as an “authority figure” more than a mother at times). y’all remember this scene from lady bird where her mom tells her she wants her to “be the best version of herself she can be” and she asks “what if this is the best version?” - it was very much so that.

and i don’t want to give the impression that my mom didn’t love me because she definitely did. i think it was just a matter of what a lot of us eventually come to understand about our parents; that they’re products of the environments and the people they were raised by. and in my mom’s case, she did her best with the cards she was dealt and showed up the best way she could. it doesn’t make my feelings any less important, but it helps to maintain the balance between recognizing her humanity, and also validating my own frustration and trauma regarding our relationship.

venus conjunct ascendant in aquarius (2°40’)

i didn't wanna end this post on a depressing ass note so i'm adding this last aspect lmfao. honestly i struggle with some of the venusian energy in my chart because i honestly never really felt "pretty" growing up. it might be neptune in my 1H that effects my self image, because it wasn't until my 20s that i actually started to genuinely recognize my beauty. i feel like growing up i only viewed my beauty through the lens of the "male gaze" (it didn't help that i felt objectified from the boys around me), or through the lens of euro-centric/white beauty standards, and in adulthood i'm finally approaching the way that i view myself from my perspective.

i do notice that i attract people very easily, both in a friendly and romantic way. i know this aspect has to do a lot with love and romance, but honestly, i'm not too concerned about being in a relationship at this point in my life (with the way the economy is set up i think we all got bigger fish to fry rn but that's neither here nor there-), but like i mentioned i've always been an artist at heart and the art that i create plays a really big role in my identity. i've always found it easier to express myself through my paintings or my writing rather than my words.

aesthetics and comfortability are pretty big for me too, more so now in my 20s. this aspect has a lot to do with sociability and being inclined to uplift and help others, and i can relate to the latter but when it comes to other aspects in my chart i do struggle with being "outgoing" and coming across friendly, but we'll get to that in part two.

as always, if y'all have any of the aspects/placements mentioned in this post let me know how they manifest in your life and personality, and if you have any insight or questions in general feel free to reach out!

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anistarrose · 14 days

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A while ago I saw a post that started out wishing Lilith's aroace identity got addressed onscreen, and I was like "yeah I totally agree, a voice acted stream reveal is many steps above 'some writer tweeting it after the show ends' but it would've still been far more exuberant and impactful to see it in the show." But then OP continued by saying there's nothing in Lilith's arc that reflects aromantic experiences, and look, I'm biased as the Lilith icon person, but like. Your experiences are not universal.

And... that's okay! My experiences aren't universal either. But as an aroace, I do have to say: Lilith does reflects one type of aroace experience, and that's the chronically ill aroace experience in particular.

It's the way that she's an adult who needs care from others, but first moves back in with her sister, and then moves back in with her parents, instead of moving in with or seeking out a romantic partner.

It's the way she grapples with independence and individualism, struggling to unravel "what she wants" from "what she needs in terms of support" and from "what society revolving around the Emperor's Coven has tricked her into conflating with self-worth".

It's the way she looks at her reflection and asks: "Am I broken?"

Not all aroaces are disabled and chronically ill. Not all aroaces have (or want) intense platonic friendships or close sibling relationships, and not are able to heal from trauma by living with their family. These are all arguments for more variety in aroace representation, to say nothing of a-spec representation as a whole — that just doesn't mean aroace characters with these traits don't represent anyone.

And this is also a chance to touch on a distinction that I feel isn't drawn often enough when talking about queer subtext of any form: I don't think Lilith, if you're only looking at the show itself, is a strongly or undeniably aroace-coded character. But she's absolutely a character whose arc is enhanced upon learning that she's aroace.

So don't get me wrong: I would like more than this. Lilith is like a baby step in terms of a-spec representation in animation — a meaningful step, but a small one. But for a series where each season except the first was heavily impacted (read: compressed) by the cancellation, and the unaffected first season was also the only one Lilith spent as an extremely polarizing villain, you can see how the crew could've gone in with extremely conscientious intentions and wound up having to make a tough call, right?

I don't even necessarily think they made the right call, I'm just willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that they tried. It feels like they put more than just some performative 30 seconds of thought into imagining how a disabled aroace with serious self-worth issues would interact with the world and improve herself — or, at least realized after some experience writing Lilith that being aroace fit her, and let that inform much of her Season 2 arc.

Like, maybe I'm personally extra desperate for disabled a-specs in media, but honestly? Lilith is a well-written one in all aspects but the lack of an onscreen "I've never felt attraction to someone" — and you don't have to agree with me, but I'll die on the hill that that all counts for something.

No hate to OP — if you know what post I'm vagueing about, be chill and normal about it, please. It's fine for some people not to feel represented, and put their thoughts out there — but it also seems that I, as a person who feels very represented, should put out some of my own thoughts for balance.

#the owl house #lilith clawthorne #toh meta

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belovedmusings · 6 months

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More than I dare to think about.

Choso Kamo x You x Suguru Geto

Explicit Smut 18+ 🚫Minors DNI🚫

Part two of the ‘Two + One’ story. Click for story masterlist.

Guitarist! Choso Kamo is your boyfriend, and you’ve been together for a year. He recently left his previous band and has been looking to join a new one, so when he has an audition with a local up and coming one, you accompany him to give him support. That’s where you meet the band’s Bassist, Suguru Geto. The mutual attraction is immediate—but you love your boyfriend, and you resolve to keep your desires for Suguru suppressed, even as Choso is accepted into the bad. The question is, can Suguru stay away from you?

Relevant tags: sexual tension, love triangle, slow burn, thoughts of infidelity, guilt, unprotected sex, mild choking, masturbation, shy and nervous Choso, Choso is a sweetheart as always, Suguru is a quiet and confident flirt, both men are charming as hell, you are addressed without the usage of “y/n”, AFAB reader with minimal usage of gendered language, reader has no defining characteristics for realism & inclusivity

Recommended songs to listen to while reading: Can’t Get You out of My Head (Kylie Minogue), …baby one more time (The Marias), In Your Eyes (The Weeknd)

A/N: part two is out!! I hope you enjoy more angsty mutual pining and deepened sexual tension.

Read below cut:

For two weeks after the temporary lapse in judgment that caused you to have a voyeuristic quickie in your car, things have returned to normal. Well, on the surface, anyway. Choso is with the band five days a week, rehearsing and also writing and recording new music. You haven’t been back to Suguru’s house, but despite that, you can’t seem to get him out of your head.

You hadn’t known Suguru was the frontman of Curse Manipulator. You’d never even seen any of the band members prior to meeting them—they were just word-of-mouth stars on the local level. Friends told friends about them, shared their music, and that’s how you and Choso had found a few of their songs that you both like.

With Choso busy with the band, you’re left to your own devices a lot. Curiosity gets the better of you quickly and you deep-dive Curse Manipulator’s discography. Their music is a perfect blend of alternative rock and a plethora of other styles on top—it’s unique and genuinely really good. The lyrics are great, too. Deep and meaningful, loaded with allusions to other works of literature and art that speaks to a writer who is intelligent and well-read.

Once again, curiosity gets the best of you, and you end up searching more about the band on the internet. You find out that Suguru is the genius behind the lyrics as well, having written most of the songs himself.

So, you torture yourself by listening to his beautiful, thick, and warm voice singing pure poetry into your ears. It makes you think of him, of his face, his piercings, his eyes, his hair, his tattoos, his hands, his body—

He’s possessed your mind completely.

It seems like you’re horny all of the time now, which never used to be the case. You and Choso had a very healthy and normal sex life before all of this, but now, you’re on him every single night. You spend the entire day fantasizing about Suguru. You dream about him taking you on every surface in your place. You imagine his head buried between your thighs, and then you envision yourself on your knees in front of him, mouth stuffed full of his cock. You know he’d have all of the control, and you would love it. Your pleasure would be his to manipulate.

You’re so hot and bothered by the time Choso comes home that you often try to initiate right when he walks in. He greets you happily, but insists he wants to shower and eat first before sex to wind down.

You let him, but secretly you don’t want him to wind down. You want him wound up tight, so tight that he takes all of the day’s stress out on you.

Choso has never been rough with you in bed. He doesn’t even often take control, though power dynamics as a whole generally stay out of the bedroom. He likes whatever you like, and enjoys whatever you give him.

When you’re fucking him, you can’t help but wish sometimes that he’d go harder. You want him to hold you down, to pound you into the mattress, to put his hands around your neck and hold them there until you tap on his arm for air. You want him to manhandle you into whatever position he wants, to fuck your face, to just take from you. But he doesn’t. He can’t. He loves you too much to even think of treating you that way.

You know that Suguru could do all of those things to you. He would use the strength of his big arms to keep you pinned beneath him while he ruins you from the inside. He’d keep going even if you begged for mercy, pushing you past your limits, controlling your body like it’s nothing but a marionette. He’d pull all of the right strings.

You know he would look and sound beautiful while doing it. You want to see him with no clothes on, with all of his tattoos on display, his hair down from its tie so that it spills over his broad shoulders. He’d groan, pant in exertion, praise or degrade you—it wouldn’t matter. You’d have him.

Today, Choso is at Suguru’s house working with the band, so you’re alone at home again. You could have gone to watch but Suguru would be there and you don’t think that after what happened last time you’d be able to maintain your sanity around him.

As you sit on the couch in the living room, your thoughts drift to Suguru. You think of his flawless face, of the piercings framing his bottom lip, and of the stud in the center of his tongue.

Just the mere memory of his damned tongue piercing is enough to have a wave of heat crash into you. You lay your head in your hand—Suguru is truly making you lose your mind.

You can’t stop your mind from continuing to follow the thoughts of him. You’re reminded of the look in his eyes when he watched you ride your boyfriend. Not at all flustered or embarrassed that he was caught staring. Just watching with a smirk like he has the biggest dick in the world. Fuck. You mean, just look at him, the way he carries himself, the way he talks, of course he’s big.

You’ve never acted like this before. Size never really mattered to you. Choso is well-endowed and he satisfies you well enough.

Well enough?

You hadn’t thought about it. He’s great in bed, always eager to please—but maybe that’s just it. You usually lead. Sometimes he’s a little bit more on the initiative side but he never ever just takes from you. You long to just give someone all of the control for once, to lay there and take whatever he feels like giving you, to be pushed to your limits.

Choso is too much of a sweetheart to do that to you. You know he respects and thinks too highly of you to treat you like that.

Suguru, on the other hand…

Fuck.

He would just make you take it. He’d hold you down with all of his strength, manhandle you into whatever position he feels like, do whatever he wants to you.

That sinful tongue comes back to mind.

He could just throw you onto the nearest surface and push your legs apart. He could even rip your underwear to shreds and you wouldn’t even care—he can do anything he wants to you.

You feel yourself getting wet, shifting on the couch. You know you shouldn’t feed into these desires, but now that the thoughts have started you can’t turn them off. Maybe if you got off to the thoughts of him, you’d have a clearer head.

You might just be making excuses so that you can have this, but regardless of your reasoning, your hand is already dipping below both of your waistbands, finding the slick warmth beneath quickly.

What if Suguru was with you right now? What if somehow the two of you were alone together? What would Suguru do?

Maybe he would grab you by the legs, push them open, and get on his knees. You’re wearing loose shorts today. What if he just moved the fabric aside and started giving you head, right there in the living room?

You bite your lip as your touches simulate the imagined movement of his mouth, envisioning his beautiful face between your thighs, lazily confident eyes boring into yours with something dark and wild, pink tongue flicking up and down your neediest spot. He wouldn’t look away. He’d want you to watch him. He’d want to put on a show for you, to give you pleasure not only by sensation but by sight as well.

You moan in your throat as the thought gets you even wetter, speeding up your touches.

He’d rub his silver stud right against that swollen pearl, and maybe he’d smirk when he sees what that does to you. He has to know what it does to you, god does it fuck you up?

You want him to fuck you up. You so do, you need him like you’ve never needed anyone before. Maybe it’s because you can’t have him, but the desperation you feel for Suguru is so severe it’s like the sky will come crashing down if you don’t get him.

Maybe he’d even start to finger you as he eats you out. He’d make you take two at once, two of those thick, long fingers, calloused and rough from his playing, covered in his rings. You’d feel the contours of the metal inside of you—

“Fuck,” you hiss, already nearing your peak. It’s been a while since you orgasmed this quickly. The only other time was when you’d jumped your boyfriend outside of Suguru’s house, when you were looking right at him and he was looking at you while you rode Choso, eyes dark against the dim streetlight.

It wasn’t completely just your boyfriend that had made you cum that night. It was Suguru, too. His presence, his gaze on you, the feeling of his lust even from far away. You know he wants you. He couldn’t look away, either. He’s interested.

You want him to do as he pleases with you. To eat you out until you cry, maybe even to devour you whole. You don’t care, you’d even give your very fucking soul to him.

You grip a pillow beside you with your free hand as you imagine him fucking his fingers in and out of you at a rough pace, not caring if it’s too much too fast, his pretty mouth covered in your essence, working over your mound like it’s his last meal. He’d have your legs spread wide, wanting as much space as he can get, entire head moving along with his mouth in effort to get you to cum. You’d pull his hair out of its tie and let it spill over his face, gripping it in your hands, unable to look away.

He’d press wet kisses to your swollen bud, tell you how good it tastes, curl his fingers up just right as he flattens his tongue and licks with force—

“Oh fuck, Suguru!” You gasp as it hits you, climax causing you to cease up. Your eyes shut as you imagine him continuing through it, overstimulating you until you can’t take it anymore. Maybe he’d keep going. He’d force another out of you. And another after that. Maybe he’d even make you cry from it.

Your mind is reeling with even more lewd possibilities and you sigh heavily as you try to calm down.

Suguru is a very very bad idea. But you can’t get him out of your head.

At the very least, you force yourself not to fantasize about him while you’re having sex with Choso. Your love for him doesn’t waver in the slightest. Though you wish he’d be rougher, you never resent him for it. He treats you like you’re precious, to be given only the utmost care, and you wouldn’t trade him for the world. The thoughts of Suguru are for when you’re alone, and only when you’re alone.

You ask him one night to choke you during sex, and the request has him completely flustered. He agrees after some convincing, so he wraps his hand around your neck and applies pressure.

You moan out immediately, tightening around him. “Yes, baby, just like that.”

“It’s not too hard?” He asks you worriedly, pace on his hips slowing. You nod.

“It’s fine, baby,” you confirm, trying to get him to go harder, to test rather than ask what your limits are. He watches your face for any sign of discomfort, his pace slowing down even more.

“Harder,” you encourage, “Keep fucking me, Chos’.”

He swallows thickly and puts more power back into his thrusts, keeping his hand around your neck. You nod, eyes fluttering shut.

“Yes, yes…more…”

His hand squeezes a little harder and it gets difficult to breathe. Your eyes flutter shut, pleasure overwhelming you as you’re forced to feel only that—

“I can’t—I don’t want to hurt you,” he draws his hand back, air suddenly filling your lungs again, and he frowns at you. “I’m sorry, I just…I don’t think I like that.”

He’s still now, and you realize you pushed him too far. He has a guilty look written all over his face and it crushes you.

“No,” you shake your head, reaching up and cupping his face, pulling him down so you can kiss his cheek. “No, you did nothing wrong. I got carried away. I’m sorry.”

“I want to make you feel good.”

“You do,” you tell him, feeling shitty for making him feel like he’s not doing enough. “I just wanted to try something, baby. We won’t do it again.”

He sighs heavily, turning his face to kiss your lips. “Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you too,” you murmur, pecking his mouth again. Slowly, the two of you get back into a rhythm with some coaxing.

The two of you finish a few minutes later and after you’ve cleaned up and gotten back in bed, Choso kisses your forehead as he pulls you to lay on his chest.

As he hugs you tightly, you can’t shake the dull pang in your chest that cemented itself after you went too far with him. You can’t sleep like this.

“I should’ve talked to you about it beforehand,” you begin, searching for the words. “I know you like when I squeeze your neck a little but I shouldn’t have assumed you’d like doing it to me.”

He sighs above you, hand rubbing up and down your arm. “I’m just aware of how much stronger than you I am. I don’t want to lose control and hurt you by accident. I'd rather you be the one with my life in your hands than the other way around.”

The poetry of that statement warms your heart. He’s the sweetest man you’ve ever known. It brings a smile to your face as you balance yourself up on your elbow to look into his eyes.

“You’re always so caring,” you say, taking in his gorgeous face, glimmering with a thin sheen of sweat. “What did I do to deserve you?”

He smiles softly, huffing with a laugh. “You’re just you. I had a crush on you for the longest time, and even now the fact that you still want me—you just make me so happy.”

You shake your head with a grin, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he chuckles, wrapping you back up in his arms as you settle on his chest. There is a period of silence before he speaks again. “You know, there’s that new horror movie that’s out in theaters. Do you want to see it together tomorrow?”

It has been a while since you went on a proper date with him. He’s been so busy with the band—but isn’t he busy tomorrow as well?

“That sounds fun. But I thought you have band rehearsal. And we can’t go before ‘cause I’m seeing my friend tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I do, but we can just go after,” he replies, “How about I drive myself to practice, and you have your friend drop you off at Suguru’s place? It’s closer to downtown anyway—that would work, right?”

An involuntary sharp breath that you have to cover up with a simple shift to get more comfortable overtakes you. You haven’t been to Suguru’s house since you met him, and the thought of seeing him again makes you both nervous and thrilled. You don’t think being around him is a good idea but Choso’s plan makes too much sense for you to dispel it. Besides, maybe you can just go in, greet him quickly, and then leave. It should be fine.

“Yeah,” you finally agree. “That works.”

“Then it’s a date,” there’s a smile in his smooth voice and you press a kiss to his sternum in response, letting his heartbeat lull you to sleep as you try not to think about who you’re going to be seeing tomorrow.

It takes a while, but eventually, you fall asleep.

—

You’re on the doorstep of Suguru’s house after having just parted ways with your friend for the day. Seeing as you had a day out and are about to go on a date, you made yourself look a little bit more done-up than you would on a usual day, and you keep trying to stifle the little voice in your head that says I hope Suguru notices.

Taking a deep breath, you text your boyfriend to let him know you’re there. A minute later, the door is opening to reveal Miguel.

“Hey,” he greets with a casual grin. “Choso said you’d be coming. Come on in, make yourself at home. We’ll be done in a bit.”

“Thanks,” you smile, entering the house and taking off your shoes. “Do you mind if I just wait in the living room?”

“Not at all, Suguru told me to tell you his house was your house,” Miguel shrugs. “Hell, make some tea if you want. He’s chill with anything.”

You laugh breathily. “Okay, cool.”

“We’re in the middle of recording Choso’s backing vocals so he’ll be out in a little.”

“Okay, it’s no problem,” you say, and with that, Miguel walks up the hallway to where the recording studio is.

Just like that, you’re left alone in Suguru’s house. It looks just as stylish and serene as it did the last time, and you have to admit he has really good taste. You sigh, considering your options. You could just sit on the couch and wait, but that might give you a free-pass to start ruminating on all the ways Suguru could make you his on the surfaces of his furniture.

You blink. Nope, not a good option. You feel like making tea is overstepping, but maybe getting a glass of water would do you some good. It’ll give you something to do, anyway. You figure you’ll try it.

You pad to the left where the kitchen is, realizing you don’t know where anything is. You debate giving up and just going to sit, but curiosity gets the better of you. This is Suguru’s kitchen—you want to snoop a little bit, just innocently, to see if there’s any quirks hidden in the items he has.

You make your way to the counter and open the first drawer, finding silverware. Basic silver spoons and forks, sleek black chopsticks, and pretty porcelain chirenge spoons. You smile to yourself at the white and black design—even the small things have a touch of his aesthetic to them.

You close the drawer and decide that the glasses are probably in a cabinet above the counter, so you take a look at them. That’s when you notice that the black wooden doors reach all the way up to the high ceiling. You hum, deciding to open the first one. The first shelf has bowls and plates, and the second one has mugs. No glasses.

You move on to the next one and open it, seeing bigger bowls on the first shelf and glasses on the second. But that's just it—there is a large space between the first and the second shelves.

The cabinets in this place are ridiculous. Why are all of the cups placed so high? You can’t even hope to reach them. You’d take any glass, the one on the very edge seems easiest to get, but even that seems impossible.

You extend your arm up futilely, rolling your eyes at your own bright idea. You look around, searching for any kind of stool to use. Your eyes only find the counter and internally, you sigh. The counter is what it’s going to have to be.

You raise your leg to start climbing up when a familiar deep voice stops you in your tracks.

“Need some help?” Suguru.

Your heart jumps into your throat and you turn your head to look at him. Your mouth goes dry.

Today, he has his hair completely down, layers falling around his chin and over his shoulders effortlessly. There’s a bar in his right ear that you hadn’t seen when you met him, hair tucked behind his ear, and the rest of his piercings lay on his face like constellations. He smiles at you warmly, showing off perfect, straight teeth, and the flutter it gives your heart is almost violent.

“Uh, yeah,” you force yourself to talk like a normal person, “I-I wanted to get some water—Miguel told me I could. Can’t reach the cups.”

“These cabinets are ridiculous, huh?” He asks with a grin, leaning against the counter beside you.

“Yeah,” you agree, still trying to school your body’s reaction so he doesn’t see how weak in the knees he’s making you feel.

“I’ll get one for you. Which one caught your eye?”

You look up and point to the one closest to the edge of the shelf. He makes a move and before you can step out of the way, he’s reaching over you.

By doing so, the entire expanse of his body presses into you from behind, sandwiching you between him and the counter as he stretches for the glass. His body is firm and warm. Like this, you can smell his cologne, a smoky jasmine, and you swear your mind turns into mush then and there. You suck in a breath, leaning your hands on the cool marble for support and maybe for mental purchase too.

He grabs the cup, and as he’s bringing it down, he backs up to where he’d been standing beside you before. You feel like you might faint. You just felt his entire frame pressing against you. You even felt the print of his dick through his black sweatpants against your hip—fuck, your mind is going haywire. Your knees are going to give out at any moment. Holy shit.

“You’re a little dressed up today, aren’t you?” He asks, still holding the glass in his hand. He hasn’t offered it to you yet, like he’s making you wait for it. God.

“Oh, yeah,” you manage, doing your best to retain normalcy. “Yeah, uh, Choso and I are going to see a movie after this.”

“Oh, really? What movie?”

“It’s that new horror one—we like scary movies.”

Suguru nods, humming. “How long have you been together?”

You shift just to give yourself something to do. “Uh, coming up on a year now.”

“Really?” He asks, an appraising face on his features. “You seem happy with him.”

Your lips part. What sort of reply is he looking for here? And why do you feel…guilty agreeing with that statement?

“Yeah,” you say, “He’s great. We’re happy.”

“Choso is a lucky man. You’re beautiful.”

If you felt near-faint then, now you feel near-death.

Suguru just called you beautiful. He didn’t say ‘you look beautiful’, he said ‘you are beautiful’. Oh god, you’re going to run wild with that when you’re alone with your thoughts again. Right now you aren’t.

You’re alone with Suguru.

“Oh,” you exhale, a small smile stretching over your lips. You avert your eyes to the side, to where his hand still holds the glass. Like this, it’s like he’s holding you captive for a conversation. You like it. “Thanks.”

“Was that too bold? You’ll have to forgive me,” he tells you, and when you look at him again, he’s smiling sheepishly. God, he’s so gorgeous. The white t-shirt he’s wearing today hugs his muscles perfectly and shows a bit of his tattoos through the fabric—wait, are those piercings in the centers of his pecs? Fuck. Where else is pierced?

Shit, he can see you checking him out. Focus.

“No, it’s…don’t worry about it,” you say, and he sobers up, suddenly turning more serious.

“You know…I wanted to say that I’m sorry for that night. I know you saw me,” his voice is low, and you realize with a shock that he’s talking about you and Choso in the car. “It was wrong to watch. I intruded. I…I’m not usually like that at all.”

You swallow thickly. Words. Find words. “I…well…I mean, it was my bad…we were outside of your house. It was wrong of me to want to then and there. He’s not at fault.”

“You started it?”

Your eyes lock with his. “I did.”

“Do you do that a lot?”

This conversation is treading into dangerous territory and it’s absolutely thrilling you.

“That was the first time.”

“Why?”

You inhale slowly. It was because of you. I want you and I know I shouldn’t, so I took it out on him. You can’t tell him the truth, but you feel like he can see it in your eyes. You can’t lie, either. Fuck.

“I could’ve stopped once I saw you watching,” you choose to say, an indirect answer, and his dark eyes flicker with something you’re instantly drawn to.

“You kept going.”

“I did.”

He’s quiet for a moment. “Are you…usually like that?”

Voyeuristic? Horny? Impatient? Risky? Slutty?

“No,” you answer, “Something came over me.”

His lips pull into a smirk, and he steps closer to you. The glass slides along the countertop with his movement. “Something? What did?”

He’s so close you can smell his cologne again. It makes you almost dizzy. The distance between you two is less than respectable now.

“Hmm?”

Oh. You haven’t given him an answer and he expects one. You can’t divulge fully. It would be wrong. You have a boyfriend…where is he? Still in the studio, probably. But Suguru needs some kind of answer. You decide to be vague.

“Thoughts.”

The teasing expression widens, and he reaches up, laying his fingers gently on your cheek. His thumb brushes your lower lip.

His touch lights an instant fire inside of you. You feel hot all over and it’s almost like there is electricity scattering between you two like a power surge. Your heart rate picks up even more.

“Thoughts? Of…?” He prompts, voice dipping even lower, to just above a whisper. It sends a shiver down your spine. It’s like he commands the truth out of you.

“Of you.”

His honey-colored eyes spark to life. “What kind of thoughts about me?”

Oh god, oh god, he’s so close and you want him so badly. You’re itching to just grab him and kiss him then and there.

He seems to share your sentiments because he leans in, nose brushing against yours. You can feel his breath on your Cupid’s bow, eyelids fluttering shut automatically.

“Tell me,” he whispers above your mouth, and you breathe out shakily, trying to find the words but all of them have left you high and dry to deal with Suguru alone. Your lips move to form some form of answer, or maybe to close the short distance to feel his mouth on yours—

“Baby?”

Choso’s voice ringing from up the hallway shocks you both back into reality.

Suguru is off of you faster than a wisp of wind, backing up and putting an appropriate amount of distance between the two of you. You feel like ice water has just been dumped over you.

“We’re in the kitchen!” Suguru answers for you, seeing how flustered you are.

Choso rounds the corner and a soft smile appears on his face. “Hey.”

At the sight of his sweet face, remorse floods your body like a tidal wave. You almost kissed Suguru. And before that, you were flirting with him. Behind the back of your precious, loyal boyfriend.

You shouldn’t have come here. You can’t control yourself around Suguru and you almost did something you would have regretted after the fact.

Choso looks at you in concern. “Baby? What’s wrong?”

Say something to him. “Oh, oh—nothing. Just,” excuse, excuse, excuse, “I just feel bad for interrupting your recording session. I got done sooner than I thought and figured I’d come early.”

“Oh,” he smiles in relief, shaking his head. “No, no, it’s fine.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it,” Suguru adds, grabbing your attention again. He gives you a smile, but his eyes are muddled, swarming with millions of indiscernible thoughts. “We could take five anyway. I figured since I was on the way back from a smoke I’d say ‘hi’.”

You force yourself to breathe slower. Having them both here in the room with you is overwhelming you. Two of the most beautiful men on Earth, their attention solely on you, the angel that you were blessed with and the demon tempting you away.

“Thank you for being so welcoming,” you say, regaining your composure. “I know I’m still a stranger.”

“My house is your house,” Suguru furrows his brow as if to say ‘nonsense’. “You’re welcome any time.”

Choso moves over to you and slings an arm around your waist. You lean into his touch, the smell of his cedarwood cologne familiar and grounding.

“You look amazing,” Choso tells you with a dopey smile, like a teenager with a crush, one that fills you with warmth. He presses a kiss to your cheek, and under the watchful eyes of Suguru, you feel bashful.

That doesn’t add up. Especially when he watched the two of you fuck the last time he saw you.

You meet his eyes, which are boring into your face. You can’t tell what he’s thinking but you can guess by the tight expression on his features. He clenches his jaw for a second before fixing his demeanor.

“Well, I’ll give you two a minute while the break lasts. You’re welcome to come watch him record,” Suguru tells you, and with that, he exits the room, leaving the glass alone on the counter.

As soon as you feel his presence exit, you relax minutely.

Choso turns his face to plant a kiss on your lips, hugging you tightly. “I think I scared him away. I can’t help it—can’t keep my hands off of you.”

The two of them are going to give you whiplash. How can you possibly stand this?

Your hand finds his chest and you look into his eyes, butterflies stirring up in your stomach. The completely infatuated look in his eyes is easy to read. He’s so in love with you and it’s written all over his face. With the way he’s gazing at you now, you wouldn’t question it if he got down on his knees and kissed the ground you walked on.

You touch his jaw and plant a kiss of your own on his lips. “I’ll never complain about your affection.”

He smiles. “I’ll never stop giving it to you.”

You stroke his cheekbone with your thumb. This man is perfect in every way. You wouldn’t trade him for the world. You know that no matter what happens, your feelings for him could never waver. “I’ll never stop loving you.”

The bridge of his nose pinkens underneath the black line of his tattoo. “Well, I’ll never stop loving you, either.”

That warrants another kiss. This time, it’s deeper and it makes your heart pound just like it had the very first time you did all of those months ago.

When you pull back, you’re both slightly breathless, and he grins shyly at you. “Come on, we should get back. I don’t want someone to come looking and catch us making out in Suguru’s kitchen.”

You laugh softly, nodding your head to turn out of the embrace and grab his hand instead. “You’re right. We have a movie to catch soon.”

He squeezes your palm and leads you out of the kitchen, the glass of water you’d originally tried getting slipping your mind completely.

When you and Choso enter the recording studio, Suguru is at the mixing board while Miguel experiments on one of his keyboards against the wall, Larue laying across the couch.

“Hey,” Larue waves at you, and you wave back.

“Hi.”

“Perfect timing. I think I have a good balance going for the vocals,” Suguru says, turning towards the two of you. “I want to record you doing a lower harmony than the one we did for another layer, because I like how your voice sounds in the background. Think you can?”

Choso nods, pulling away from you to walk towards the door of the soundproof-booth.

“Yeah, sounds good.”

He enters the small room, closing the door behind himself. You start walking towards one of the empty chairs to sit, but then Suguru calls your name.

Just the sound of it in the contours of his voice is enough to stop you in your tracks.

You turn around, and he’s holding the chair beside himself open. “Come sit here. Watch your boyfriend make magic with me.”

That makes your insides twist with heat.

“Okay,” you say, sauntering over to the open seat and lowering yourself into it, right beside Suguru. Your eyes scatter over all of the dials, notches, and buttons before you. It looks sort of like an airplane control panel, you think. So many different knobs.

“It’s not as complicated as it looks,” he smiles easily, “I’ll show you while he sings.”

You nod smally, laughing softly. “Okay.”

His eyes linger on you for a bit longer before he turns to the small microphone on the desk, pressing a red button near him.

“Okay, Choso,” he begins, and you look at your boyfriend, who dons headphones and is poised in front of a microphone with a pop-filter. He has his own set-up in the extra room at your place, and he’s explained the basic components, but this place is definitely professional-grade. Even the headphones look expensive. “I want it a third lower than the last take. Like this.”

You aren’t prepared to hear Suguru start singing right beside you.

You’ve heard him sing before, it’s a well-kept secret between you and any deities invested in your drama that you’ve probably made the curve of Curse Manipulator’s streams spike up an embarrassing amount. Lately it’s all you play.

Even still, to hear his buttery vocals ring out right beside you in person is almost an entirely new experience.

When he finishes, you feel like you can finally breathe again. He takes his finger off of the button, and you hear Choso’s voice through the speakers, repeating the harmony you just heard but in his smoky, breathy voice instead. You’re melting. Holy shit.

Your eyes meet his through the glass and he smiles, raising his brows as if to ask ‘how was it?’ and you nod, mirroring his grin.

“Sounds great. Okay, I’ll play the track.”

Suguru moves the playhead of the program on his computer with the mouse near his hand, clicks it back, and presses the ‘space’ bar on his keyboard.

Music flows through the speakers, a bass-heavy track with a really slow yet catchy beat, and the first thing you hear is Suguru’s recorded vocals before harmonies hit and Choso starts to sing under them.

The two of their voices blended together sends you right to heaven. At that moment, you find god. It’s a religious experience. Lyrics about love and desire, dark and poetic ride the contours of the beautiful sounds gracing your ears.

“He’s great, isn’t he?” Asks Suguru, and you nod, unable to find a verbal reply. You’re in awe. “How’s the song sounding?”

“It’s…I mean, it’s amazing,” you reply. It’s a song about wanting what one can’t have. You think it fits your situation a little to well, because jealousy and anguish is laced into the mix also. “I like it.”

“Yeah?” Suguru smiles at you. “I wrote it last week. I can’t get it out of my head—so it’s come to life pretty fast.”

Last week. Forbidden feelings…could it be…?

“I’ve just been feeling so inspired,” he continues, and you see that same look in his eyes. You know exactly what—no, who, rather—the song is about, and you take a deep breath.

“I love it.”

The thought of being Suguru's muse goes right to your head. This talented, walking god was inspired by you?

He flashes you a grin, looking almost rewarded, and he turns back to Choso, who is finishing up his last line. Suguru hits the ‘space’ again and the music pauses. He holds down the red button again.

“That sounded great. I’ll have you do it again just for doubles. Sound good?”

“Sounds good.”

Just as he did before, Suguru moves the playhead back to the beginning of the section and presses ‘play’. The same part of the song starts playing, and Choso begins to sing again.

“So,” Suguru speaks. “You see all these dials? See how they’re lined up in columns?”

You direct your attention to the board again. “Yeah.”

“Each column is for a different track,” he explains, pointing to the screen at the top row. “That’s the main vocal, my voice. It corresponds to this first column.”

He points to the left-most section on the board.

“Then you just go down the line. The next row is the next column, and so on. These dials control things like ‘panning’, so it moves the sound to the right,” he turns it accordingly, moving his voice to the right speaker only, “or to the left.”

He does it the other way before turning it back to the middle.

“The switch here is for volume. Up is louder, and down is quieter,” he says. “And that’s pretty much it. Not so bad, right?”

You nod, looking at the mixing board again. Suddenly, it really does seem less imposing.

“Yeah, actually.”

What else could he teach you?

You internally slap your forehead as soon as that thought hits you. Calm down, you tell yourself.

“Glad I could show you something,” Suguru is saying to you as he hits the ‘pause’ and starts speaking to Choso again. All you can think about is ‘you could show me a lot of things’, and then right after, ‘damn it, control yourself’. It’s a loop on repeat, over and over, lust and then berating self-awareness.

The next thing you know, Choso is coming out of the booth.

“All right, are you ready?” He asks you, and it’s then that you realize he and Suguru probably just finished up while you were having a small-scale mental breakdown.

“Oh, yeah,” you say, eager to leave yet reluctant to part ways with Suguru. You like being next to him. You like when he talks to you, his attention on you. But that’s bad. You need to go, and ideally never come back to prevent a mistake.

You stand up and walk over to Choso, taking his hand.

“I’ll see you guys on Monday,” Choso says, and Larue and Miguel reply in kind. You wave as well, and Suguru stands.

“I’ll see you guys out.”

The entire walk down the hallway feels like ten years. Suguru walks behind you and Choso, and you wonder what he’s thinking. Choso is completely oblivious to what had happened earlier, to how close you came to cheating on him.

You frown. That isn’t a pretty thought, but it’s the truth. You almost let Suguru take everything you’ve built with Choso away in the matter of a few seconds. What is going on with you?

You get to the door and start putting your shoes on, forcing the thoughts back. You didn’t do anything. Everything is fine.

“Great job today,” Suguru says, “I think this track’ll sound awesome. That gig we have coming up at the end of the month is a perfect time to debut it, don’t you think? An exclusive before we drop it.”

“Yeah, I think it would be great,” agrees your boyfriend. “It’s coming together really well.”

“I agree,” Suguru replies as you stand back up. He turns his attention to you. “What did you think of it all? Pretty cool to watch it come to life, right?”

Your smile is partially forced. He’s troubling the hell out of your thoughts and you can’t seem to stop wanting him. “It’s sounding great. I can’t wait until it comes out. Thanks for letting me hear it beforehand.”

“Oh, it’s no problem. You have special access,” he says, leaning against his wall. “I’m glad you came by. Your presence is always welcome.”

And that right there is the problem.

“Well, thank you,” you say, taking a breath. “Uh, so, Choso, we should get going. I want to be there in time for the previews.”

“You’re right,” he says, “See you next week, Suguru.”

“See you then. Have a good night,” Suguru smiles, raising his hand in a parting wave. He opens the door and lets the two of you out, allowing you to finally get some space from him.

As soon as you’re down the driveway, you feel a lot more in control of your actions, and your head is clearer. Thank fuck.

“I’m excited to see this movie,” Choso states, getting the car keys from his pocket.

“Me too,” is your response, letting his hand go to get into the passenger seat. As soon as you’re buckled in, he starts the engine and drives off.

You look out of the window to see Suguru standing on his balcony, poised with another cigarette or joint or something between his fingers, looking down at you.

He waves this time, leaning on his hand, and you surreptitiously place your hand on the bottom of the window in a silent response.

Then, you’re driving down the street, away from him.

For the sake of your sanity, you really hope that you don’t end up alone with him again. You fear that you might not be able to control yourself.

—-

A/N: the response I’ve gotten for this is wild!! Thank you all for liking this so much. I hope you enjoyed the update. More drama ahead!

Please don’t repost/translate, but feel free to reblog and share.

Tag list (comment to be added): @jaegerstan222 , @cosmicstarlatte , @dabisdolly , @moonriseoverkyoto , @propheticfire , @bontensbabygirl , @crlyhairedwxtch , @alittlebirdahgaselx , @okkovtsu , @notbellasstuff , @uchihabbynic , @polaroidnana , @childof-iluvtar , @shadowfoxy , @jordan-network , @dreamtravelersade , @unmatchxd

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infamous-if · 8 months

Note

do you think G does all that extravagant stuff (like you said they’re huge on flashy gift giving in a relationship) bc they feel like they need to win people over/keep people in a material way (esp considering their family) and they’re not good at the emotional feely stuff? I may be wording this weird because I’m not good with words but I imagine my mc would not like that extravagant stuff and want more meaningful/small/quiet gifts, how would that work in a relationship with G? like babe I’ll love you regardless please don’t rent out an island for me calm down 😭

G uses their money and fame to overcompensate for where they're lacking, because G thinks the only thing worthwhile about them is that they're famous. They have nothing else to offer but their money, because without their fame and money, they are simply a person with little morals and a lacking personality. They believe they get away with most things because of who they are and the fact that they are the meal ticket for most people, and they have a fear that once that's gone there will be nothing worthy about them for people to stay around.

It's a weird feeling; because while it scares them, the idea of everyone leaving also comforts them in a way. They won't have to uphold any of those pretenses and just be themselves, but that also terrifies them because then if they do that and people do leave, it'll confirm all of the fears they have of themself.

It's....complicated haha. G is probably the hardest character for me to write by far. (I thought that was Seven, but I was proven wrong very quickly when I was writing G's POV)

As for how that would work in a relationship, it's really just baby steps. I mean, it comes up in their route so we'll see :)

#inbox #g reign #character analysis

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saintone · 9 months

Text

So, recently, I received the last book of SVSSS saga, and I instantly jumped to read, once again, Shen Jiu’s story chapter. And, oh boy. I’ve got things to say.

Spoiler’s ahead!!!!

Something I notice about MXTX’s writing is that, in a very subtle manner, their narrator's way of telling the story changes based on whose character's pov it is, so we can guess that the book’s narrator isn’t omniscient, but it’s actually a character’s inner voice. which isn’t anything new, as many users have pointed out that Shen Yuan isn’t a very reliable narrator, and some things of the books that are told from his pov don’t match with reality (the easiest example I can say is when sy and lgh reencounter after the eternal abyss. sy interpret’s lbg’s ‘dark gaze’ as his vengeful desire when actually half of the time he’s just being horny lol).

Something else I’ve noticed repeatedly, and kinda made me uncomfortable is sy’s portrayal of female disciples. Based on his belief that og!sqq preyed on his disciples, sy takes the liberty to make very perverted assertions that stay on the fictional side due to his fear of facing a similar ending as the one of the original goods. quoting some real phrases from the book:

“This was because he had designs on Ning Yingying—ah, no, more like the original Shen Qingqiu had designs on Ning Yingying!” (p. 34, first book).

“One can, however, imagine the result of daring to try to get a taste of the male lead’s woman!” (p. 35).

Or his description of the fight between Liu Mignyan and Sha Hualing:

“Every man dreamed of being caught between an angel and a devil. To watch them jealously vile for each other over him one moment, then risk life and limb for his sake in the next — that was the highest, most sacred, perverted fantasy of every male organism” (p. 112).

These aren’t the words of a neutral, omniscient narrator: these are Shen Yuan’s own thoughts. And he is a very perverted guy: it makes sense, as he was an avid reader of PIDW.

Following the conclusion that the narrator varies on the character’s pov, Shen Jiu’s story takes on a new meaning. Because all of the words in Chapter 24 are Shen Jiu’s own.

The Part 1 of the story starts with Shen Jiu on the streets, until Shiwu goes missing, and Yue Qi goes searching for him, with Sj following. The change to Part 2, which starts directly in the Qi mansions, is kinda abrupt. There are many reasons for something like this.

On one side, we can interpret that the story starts with Sj in the Qi mansions, and he was reflecting on his life to gauge how he ended up there. The sudden jump of events, which leaves us with a gap in information, can be due to trauma, or confusion: Sj isn’t entirely sure of what happened. That’s why this chapter is wholly written as a recount of events, from a man who, perhaps, needed to learn how to write and read to be able to put words to his life and story.

Shen Jiu’s reflections are born from his pain. At the end of Part 2, we get an explanation of how he ended in the Qi mansion:

“Shiwu should have been trampled to death, trampled into minced meat for thousands to spit upon. Qi-ge should have never gone back to save him [...]

As Shen Jiu suffered through day after day of torment, he turned those sweet yet futile thoughts over and over again in his mind, drawing strength and comfort from them” (p. 90, fourth book).

This phrase is very powerful. I think that, as Shen Jiu suffers, he reflects more on his life until now, on the reasons that guided him there, on the actions of those around him, and on the path they should’ve followed.

He wasn’t like that in Part 1. Even as a slave, he doesn't reflect on his pain or suffering because he was pretty much the top game among slave boys, and as Yue Qi says, “the other party would be the one to end up suffering and bawling in terror” (p. 82).

It’s also very meaningful how Part 3 starts:

“Shen Jiu thought a lot about why Yue Qi never returned to look for him” (p. 90).

Yess, right after Sj thinks that Yq should never’ve returned to look for Shiwu. Coincidence? I don’t think so!

Sj says “go back to save him”, but the one who actually saves them both, Shiwu and Yq, is Sj.

The question here is, does Shen jiu regret saving yue qi? Or is he afraid, as we see at the beginning of Part 3, that yue qi learned his lesson, and won’t come back to save a kid that could betray him at the end? Do you think that, after being imprisoned at the water prison, Shen Jiu considers himself a Shiwu too, betraying Yue Qingyuan and guiding the fall of the Cang Qiong Sect?

How do you think it felt for Sj to never get those answers either?

Before going foward, something very meaningful from Part 2 is Qi Jianluo’s reflections around Shen Jiu.

“As long as the boy remained obedient and honest, there would be no issues” (p. 88).

And “Humans must understand and repay kindness. Our family gave you the chance to play human, so even if it means repaying us with your life, that’s just how it should be.” (p. 89).

Who could you remember was obedient and honest? And wasn’t human?

Isn’t it awfully coincidental that the despicable way in which Qi Jianluo viewed Shen Jiu, is exactly what he tries to destroy in Luo Binghe? His honesty and obedience, his human side?

I’m not saying Sj did it intentionally, he clearly hated the boy, as stated in this chapter. But he made him the opposite of the weak, scorned version of himself.

And this is exactly what he says at the end of the chapter:

“Luo Binghe, everything you have today you owe to taking me as your master, so shouldn’t you thank me? Instead, you’re wholly unable to tell what’s good for yourself. As expected, you’re an ungrateful bastard” (p. 116).

Going forward, Part 3! Right off the bat, we have this beautiful phrase that just makes me go aghh:

“Shen Jiu even imagined walking to the ends of the earth looking for Yue Qi’s remains, and how, after finding them, he would dig him a grave with his own two hands. Perhaps he would even do his best to shed a tear” (p 90).

Let me remind you, that this is the only, single mention of crying in the whole chapter. From everything that Shen QingQiu has gone through, he has only thought of crying in the face of Yue Qi’s potential death.

He doesn’t cry when he receives the remains of Xuan Su, though. Because “This was not Yue Qi but Yue Qingyuan (p. 94).

Then, Shen Jiu puts it into words:

“Some people were rotten from birth. Shen Jiu thought of himself in exactly this way — someone vile and poisonous [ejem, like Shiwu, whose presence brought misfortune to his literal savior] from the start. Because, at that instant, he came to a crystal-clear realization:

That he’d rather have met a Yue Qi who’d died in some unknown corner, his remains unsightly and forgotten, than a Yue Qingyuan who was elegant and powerful, his prospects and future boundless” (p. 95).

This is exactly what I said before when I mention that Sj reflection’s starts from his pain, and his pain is born in the Qi household. Before, as a slave boy, Shen Jiu was actually the happiest. And that’s why he’d rather have a dead Yue Qi than an alive Yue Qingyuan: because he was still Shen Jiu, and he would be Shen Jiu until his death.

It’s right then and there, that Shen Jiu decides there’s something inevitably wrong in him, that he’s poisonous, scornful, and hateful.

And that word marks his future in Cang Qiong:

Part 4: “Shen Jiu hated far too many and far too many things” (p. 95).

But then, we get this phrase:

“I may be a hateful thing for most people, but luckily the Qing Jing Peak Lord doesn't despise me” (p. 99)

Is Shen QingQiu hateful, or is he hated?

Also, “thing”. He’s a hateful thing. So he’s still not human.

Changing topics, on page 100, we get to see a new side of Shen Jiu: his reflection on the women of the Red Pavilion. I think it’s very interesting to compare it with Sy’s considerations of women.

“Liking women wasn’t the least shameful, but treating women like saviors, cowering within their embrace and seeking courage from them... even without anyone saying it, Shen Qingqiu knew that was horrendously shameful”

From his wording, I don’t think Sj thinks badly of women: he thinks badly of himself. He considers that a man should be able to protect others, not be protected. The “horrendously shameful” thing is himself, and his pain.

And what’s really meaningful is when he says: “even without anyone saying it”. Because it shows us that many things Shen Jiu knows were taught by others' words. Because he was a slave boy, with no education of the noble, or even human ways (as slaves aren’t considered people), and everything he gathers of life he is constantly learning from others.

So of course he is hateful, and of course, he doesn’t get along with others: he hasn’t learned how to (and how big of a coincidence is it that Shen Yuan, who’s from a wealthy family, is able to get along with his Martial siblings just fine?).

Shen Qingqiu also knows that the only reason he was able to become a Peak Lord, is thanks to Qiu Jianluo’s teachings:

“In the past, Qiu Jianluo had forced Shen Jiu to learn how to read and write. Shen Jiu had been unwilling to learn, had detested it to the point of madness, yet now it was only through his abilities in reading and studying—through being smarter than his peers—that he’d been able to earn the Qing Jing Peak’s lord's favor. To make it even more laughable, of the thousands of possible names in this world, the peak lord had just happened to name him Qingqiu” (p. 101).

Doesn’t this remind you of something? I’m going to write this quote once again:

Just like Luo Binghe, Sj is where he is thanks to his abusive master. But never once does Sj regret his past:

“But no matter how laughable, no matter how it made him gnash his teeth, Shen Qingqiu still wanted that name, for this name represented that from now onward, a shining new life was his” (p. 116).

Notice the change of preposition, from “that” to “this”? That name is the Qiu name, and this name is the QingQiu name.

He is no Shen QingQiu, and no longer Shen Jiu.

“‘That name irritates me whenever I hear it. I’ve long forgotten it. So please, Zhangmen-shixiong, you should also discard it.’

[...] ‘ Then, the day you responder to it would be the day it no longer irritates you?’

[...] ‘ That would never happen’” (p. 101-102).

Shen Wingqiu wholeheartedly accepts his new name.

No matter what happened, we never see Shen QingQiu regretting his actions, neither cursing his fate. He accepts what life gives him, and he accepts his punishments.

“What’s happened has happened! I’ve already ‘considered’ it hundreds and thousands of times! There is no ‘if’, no ‘in the beginning’—, there was never any chance of redemption!” (p. 111).

And you know why that is? Because he already considered it a lot after Shiwu’s betrayal.

Shiwu should have been trampled, Yue Qi shouldn’t have gone to save him (should’ve come to save Shen Jiu). But after that experience, Shen Jiu learns that should’ve and could’ve, and would’s aren’t worth anything, because, at the end of the day, his life never goes the way it should.

And he just accepts it: “Only when I see other people unhappy can I be happy myself” (p. 112).

This quote was very strange to me because it didn’t really match Shen Jiu’s actions. We don’t see him going out of his way to make others unhappy. (Except Luo Binghe lol. He openly admits to trying to murder him).

I think the situation was quite the opposite: It was when Shen Qingqiu was happy, that others were unhappy: when he was in the Warm Red Pavillion, others were unhappy. When he was with his female disciples, others were unhappy. When he succeeded as a disciple and became Peak Lord, others were unhappy. And when he was a slave, living alongside Yue Qi in the streets, he now believes Yue Qingyuan was unhappy too.

Shen QingQiu’s happiness came with the price of others’ happiness, and that’s why he comes to accept that he prefers others’ suffering, he accepts other’s hate.

The first time Shen Qingqiu is in the Linxhi Caves alongside Yue Qingyuan, he notices the crude markings on the walls, and asks him about it. What’s relevant of this scene is that it’s the first time Shen QingQiu is the one starting a conversation.

Before that, we always see Yue Qingyuan looking for Shen Qingqiu, talking to him, interrogating him, and a Shen Qingqiu reluctant to talk. In this scene, the opposite happens: Shen Qingqiu asks, and Yue Qingqiu ignores him.

Here we see, that in those fundamental moments that Shen Qingqiu is the one interested in something, others (Yue Qingyuan) are distant.

Last but not least, I’d like to bring some of the last lines of the chapter to light:

“He had singlehandedly created the Luo Binghe of today, but who had singlehandedly wrought this ending of Shen Qingqiu’s?

Yue Qingyuan shouldn't have met this kind of fate” (p. 117).

THIS

THIS PHRASE

Made me go ughrr oh my god.

First of all, the acceptance: like yeah, I made the devil. It came to bite me in the ass. Okey.

But does he regret that? NO! He regrets being who he is. What he is. He regrets what he became: he regrets being hated, being unhappy, he regrets being mean, not because of what it caused him, but because of the person he became.

Shen Qingqiu never, not even once feels pity for his ending, for being tortured and mutilated. He only regrets being unhappy.

And also, he blames Yue Qingyuan for it.

Because it isn’t a coincidence that after that question, he mentions Yue Qingyuan’s name. First of all is a literary resource. Second, it’s the clear association of the narrator’s mind as he builds a sequence.

He blames Yue Qingyuan for the person he became, and also blames Yue Qingyuan for not being able to avoid the person he became: he denies his cruel destiny.

Yue Qingyuan shouldn't have met this kind of fate.

Because Shen Qingqiu only ever wished for the death of Yue Qi.

This chapter’s narrator is a very sharp, and concise one. He goes from scene to scene, from thought to thought, abandoning fluency and just concentrating on a list of events. This is a reflection of Shen Jiu’s mind: a recollection of traumatic events that brutally shaped him into the man he became.

We see very little emotion, very short pieces of a sentimental being that laze themselves as puzzle pieces trying to make the shape of a deeply traumatized man.

I said it before, and I say it again: SVSSS is a masterpiece, is a book that will become a classic and be analyzed by literary critics in universities (or it should become. we can only hope).

And MXTX is one of the best current fiction writers in the world.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk lol

#svsss #svsss novel #shen jiu #Shen Yuan #shen qingqiu #bingiu #liu qingge #liu mingyan #sha hualing #mxtx #mxtx books #mxtx characters #yue qingyuan #im not crying you are

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vampyrcigs · 2 months

Note

May i request an Alucard hellsing x male reader please? anything would be perfect

Male Reader with Obsessed Alucard Headcanons

🦇 ‧₊˚⊹ Took me a bit since I was thinking of what to write-

🦇 ‧₊˚⊹ References to smut but none is actually there. A bit short, but whatever.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Whether you notice or not, Alucard is always observing you. Alucard has eyes on you constantly, you can barely get a moment alone without him listening in. It’s especially bad at night or when he’s on missions. The feeling of being watched will never cease no matter what, no matter how far apart either of you are.

One thing that most definitely won’t change is that, no matter what, you belong to this monster. As much as Alucard lets you run off and do your own thing in the morning, with him watching of course, at the end of the day you’re his. If he feels like something’s off, he’s at your side in a second, grinning over your shoulder as he peered at the cause of your unease. Whether he’s turned you or not, you’re already set as his territory, his.

Expect to never walk around with your neck clean. This man will never let you walk around with your neck untouched. He can’t help but drag his teeth down the side of your neck, grazing his sharp fangs over your soft neck. And…well now you have marks all over you neck. If he notices your marks fading, he’ll drag you somewhere private and do it all over again. And if that doesn’t leave him satisfied…well, at least you won’t have to walk around with marks on your neck…

He never truly imagined he’d be this way with anyone. In all his centuries of living, he never thought it would be truly possible for someone to devote themselves to a monster like him, at least not in a loving way. The fact that you’re a male doesn’t phase him, especially since he never expected to receive love in the first place. But, of course, this monster will take everything you give him and give it back just as much. All the love you give him, he’ll give you more. He adores you so much that he almost doesn’t want to turn you. Almost doesn’t want to take that innocence away. Almost. But you wouldn’t mind if he went through with it, right?

Alucard’s touchiness varies. He tries to keep his hands to himself…sometimes. His touches are romantic and meaningful, like those seen in old romance shows. Placing a kiss on your hand as if you’re a maiden or keeping an arm locked around your waist whenever you’re around. His touches are more romantic than sexual, showcasing his love to you in a very gentlemen like way. He’ll pull you into his arms just to place a kiss on each of your fingers. His larger hand around your waist serving as a reminder of how drastic his touches can change when you’re alone.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

🦇 ‧₊˚⊹ Fin. Hope it’s to your liking my dear anon. ♡

🦇 ‧₊˚⊹ Def not proofread but it’s fine. My bad if it’s ass. ♡

🦇 ‧₊˚⊹ A bit of inspo from this lovely person here

materialist…in progress || request status…open || introduction

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iameliseposts · 1 year

Note

Hi darling!!! idk the character limit but may I request for the dorm leaders confessing and asking reader to go on a date? I can just imagine them blushing with a boquete of roses or a plushie in their hands for reader! Hcs btw! So its easier for you! ❤️

Your writing is amazing and I hope you enjoy writing this request. You seriously deserve more love and support, dear 🫶🫶🫶

AWHH tysm Cherry! I swear you're too good to me!! This request was long, but amusing to write!

This ended up being longer than I expected, but we can just say it's a Valentine's fic hehe! I hope you enjoy!

Confessing HCs - Dorm Leaders

Riddle Rosehearts

The Unbirthday party went without hitch and it’s thanks to you

Heartslaybul was short on hands and Riddle didn’t think they could get all the preparations done in time

You had helped Ace and Deuce paint the roses; they wasn’t a single white spot

You had baked many desserts with Trey and man, were they delicious (yum!)

But what Riddle noticed most of all is that you always kept a smile on his face and now, he wants to bring one to your face forever

He had asked you to visit him in private in the rose maze after the Unbirthday party

You have arrived in the rose maze and met with Riddle, who looked nearly as red as the roses with his hands behind his back

Riddle stepped forward and held out what was behind his back: a bouquet of roses

“I grew these and picked them for you, so I would appreciate it if you would have a tea party with me. …Yes, I want to go on a date with you because I love you!”

Leona Kingscholar

Ruggie better not have had lied to him

Leona has no relationship experience and why would he? They’re just too much effort to maintain and deal with…

Is what he thought before he fell in love with you and you occupied his mind 24/7

Ruggie was the first to find out, not like Leona was subtle, and he offered his expertise (in exchange for a week’s worth of food of course)

A gift, Ruggie had said, everyone likes gifts

Make it expensive… or meaningful

Leona held his present as he laid back, waiting for you to arrive- oh there you are

You asked him what he was doing in Ramshackle, laying in your bed

He said nothing and held out his present; a stuffed lion all too adorable and cuddly, just like your Leona

“Yeah I bought it for you, so what? You didn’t think I could be this considerate? Well I can. If you wanna pay me back, meet me in the Botanical Garden. I’ll take you somewhere if you do.”

Azul Ashengrotto

And it's all planned out from start to finish

Of course Azul needed to plan out his potential date with you, what did you take him for?

First, you come to Mostro Lounge because he had already invited you, but he was already waiting by the Octavinelle dorm’s mirror

Because of some inconvenience, oh no, Mostro Lounge had to close early!

He wouldn’t mind taking you out and he’d gift you a little something something

But by the stars the day didn’t go as planned, as Azul stares at the storm raging outside and the rain violently slapping the outside pavement (damn, who pissed off Malleus for a storm of this size?)

A very disappointed Azul goes back to his Lounge, takes a seat at one of the chairs and buries his head in his hands; you weren’t even going to come, were you?

But by some stroke of chance, he hears the door chime open and your muttering, something about heavy rain

The cephalo-merman stands up in shock: could you steal his heart any more than you already have?

And now, he can finally give you his gift, a locket with both your initials engraved together

It wasn’t according to the plan, but Azul didn’t mind: the look on your face when being gifted the locket made everything worth it

“Wait, you actually came? Ah, I suppose that would mean that… you like me too? Of course, you coming here also makes you a customer. Order anything you like, for this was a surprise for you. Consider the locket and dinner a buy one get one free! Though I won’t make you pay for anything…”

Kalim Al-Asim

Parade for two, though Kalim prefers to call it a couple parade!

Kalim wanted to confess and be yours as soon as he could, so he asked Jamil about any confession ideas

To which Jamil replied to confess in his own way and left to do anything else

And so Kalim came up with his own adorable plan: he’d host a small parade for you and confess at the end of it

And one more present he’d make by hand!

You sat outside, behind the training grounds on a special seat Kalim designed and ordered for you

First came the horses, racing steadily forward; next came the peacocks flocking and spreading their feathers

Finally came the elephants and Kalim, looking somehow even more cheerful than ever

You gasped as you realized the elephants held a sign reading, I love you

One of the elephants pass Kalim a box with their trunk

“I’m so happy you came! Here, I made you these chocolates myself! I hope they taste good. And right, like the sign says, I love you! Let’s go hit up a party together, okay?”

Vil Schoenheit

Of course Vil was confident, who would reject The Vil Schoenheit?

And yet, Vil worried his feelings would go unrequited and he wouldn’t be able to give you his own heart

And so, he pulled all the stops

He could order something expense, after all he was a famous student actor and had the wealth for it, but he’d rather make you something by hand

Something meaningful, even more than ‘It's a Wonderful Life’

He couldn’t help it, his mind always came back to you whether he was acting, studying or anything!

You were like the Phantom of the Opera (except you’re so much more beautiful of course!)

Which is why he invited you to Pomefiore’s ballroom, the most romantic room in Pomefiore or even Night Raven College as a whole

Once you walked in the ballroom, the door shut behind you and the room went completely dark

You tried to feel around for a light switch, but a spotlight came into you and another one shined directly in front of you, on Vil

“My potato, you came into my life, as if you were a chaotic tornado. I have compiled a book filled with our memories to be engraved eternally in time. Would you create more mementos by my side?”

Idia Shroud

Can’t he confess through text? No? Fine fine…

He first thought sending you a confession text would be enough embarrassment, but now Ortho is telling him to go to Ramshackle and confess in person

Don’t get him wrong, he does want to confess to you romantically, but he doesn’t know how to

But then again, someone else butting in and snatching you away would be the bad ending

So, he’ll do it, for the completionist route (nahh he’s lying it's definitely 100% for you)

He marched- err, awkward stumbled all the way to Ramshackle dorm with a gift he made for you shoved into his hoodie pocket

He made a 3d projection of a Hell flower just for you!

He wanted to knock on your door, but his hand didn’t want to, as if it had a mind of his own

Yeah he just stood at Ramshackle’s main door trying to work his hands again

Fortunately, you came out and was met face to face with a red Idia

True ending achieved!

“EEP- Don’t creep up on me like that! Uh what am I doing here? Um well, I came to um- give you this projection I made and um- IwantedtotellyouIoveyouOKBYE-”

Malleus Draconia

This is a classic friends to lovers, isn’t it?

It was only natural for Malleus to fall in love with his one (and only, but that doesn’t make his Child of Man any less special!) best friend wasn’t it?

All the romantic strolls you’d have at night: walking together as he would talk about gargoyles being far superior than grotesques

And now, Malleus wants to keep strolling down life together with you

So, he decided to gift you a gargoyle to confess and celebrate the first step in your lives as one

He finds it the least he can do to the person he considers his rock he can depend on whenever his loneliness gets to be too much

You both meet up behind Ramshackle dorm at your usual time to go on midnight walks when he decides to put his surprise into motion

You meet up with Malleus as fireflies swarm the two of you, almost as if pushing both of you closer

With a snap of your Tsunotaro’s fingers, a stone gargoyle magically appears within thin air

You could tell he chiseled it by hand and my, was it beautiful

“Why, of course I’d give you a gargoyle. You must be aware of the feelings I harbor towards you. This gargoyle and my heart are yours. Should you return my feelings, I shall gift you any wonders of this world.”

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stickymolasses · 5 months

Note

Hello! Can you write a nurse reader x harry osborn? :)

MAKE YOU BETTER

an: hello! i love reading ur harry fics so much, thank you for this prompt! i hope u like it <3 ps: reader does not know peter is spiderman, they just think peter got injured somehow and the symbiote transferred over to him. spiderman having a black suit, in their eyes, is just a coincidence. just imagine reader being totally oblivious, lol.

summary: You're Harry's nurse and you can't help him feel better physically anymore, so you resort to playing therapist. (fluff/a little angst if you squint) pairing: harry osborn x reader warnings: sick & irritable harry

You knock twice as gently as possible, trying not to disturb Harry too much. He mumbles something that resembles “come in,” so you allow yourself to slowly open the door. You close it upon entering and lean against it.

“How are you feeling today, Harry?” you ask, wishful thinking taking over, though you think you probably know the answer.

Harry shuffles a little in his bed and leans his head back. He swallows hard, and his Adam's apple bobs in his throat. His form has gotten frail over the past couple of days.

He breathes in deeply and his words come out in a whisper, “Never been better.” He smiles sarcastically and breathes out his nose, a laugh that does not require him to flex his stomach.

You can see his pain. You can feel it too. You don’t want to pry, but as his nurse, you have a job. You are supposed to make him feel better, get healthier. He can’t get any better, physically, that is. Your real task now is to change his mindset.

“What’s been bothering you lately? Any serious pain I should know about?” You cross your arms, still leaning on the door.

Harry is sitting up now, giving you a better view of the dark purple bags under his eyes. You wince and look down, avoiding his gaze. “The usual. My pain lately has been in my head. I’ve been mulling things over, got lots to think about.”

He looks down at his lap, twiddling his thumbs. His boredom has reached a new peak, having filled out four science-themed crossword books.

You nod at him as if to say “Go on.”

He furrows his brows in thought, still looking down at his hands.

“It’s Peter.” He looks up at you swiftly. “He’s… changed.”

You move towards his bed and take a seat nearer to him, to make him more comfortable. Your words come out slowly and very quietly, “Changed, how?”

He sighs, “It’s complicated. After his little… accident, having the symbiote- um, the suit- affects him in a way that it hadn’t done to me. He’s angry.”

You know he’s telling the truth. You’ve seen it. When Peter blew up on Harry and told him he should “pop some more pills.” From knowing Peter for a few months now, you would never have expected him to act that way towards anyone, let alone his best friend.

“Has he ever been angry like that before, with you?” You inquire, still pushing.

“Never. I was usually the one with the temper.”

“If you’ll allow me to play devil's advocate, I think you might need to give Peter the benefit of the doubt because-”

Harry gripped his comforter until his knuckles turned white.

“He wants me to die.” The words came out like a curse, laced with venom. His face falls into his palm, and he rubs his temples.

Once he finds himself calm, he opens his mouth again to speak, but no words come out. He looks at your face, eager to listen. Something about the way you look at him helps him find the words.

“I’m sorry. You’re right, he’s fighting his own battles. We all are.” He looks up at you, awaiting a response. You fall silent.

Your gaze is morphing under his. You feel like you’re melting rapidly under a heat lamp, but you’re just looking at each other. This moment feels more meaningful than the actual verbal conversation you were having just moments before. You’re beginning to feel different about him, and the feeling is dangerous, fatal even.

“Stop looking at me like that. Like I’m some sick child.” Harry turns his head away from you, like an actual child. A child who doesn’t want to listen to his guardian.

You scramble, “Like what? I wasn’t looking at you like anything; I was just-”

“You were pitying me; I can see it with my own two eyes.” The moment was fleeting, but you could see him changing his mind mid-sentence. Something about you kept him sane.

You breathe loudly, and he can hear the gears turning in your head. You were calculating a response so as not to irritate him further.

“I wasn't pitying you. I was just… I was thinking about how you were before. You were so full of life, seeing you like this makes me wonder what you would be doing if you weren’t in this position.” You reach for his hand and clasp it gently. His hand is cold, in contrast to your warm ones. Your thumb moves in circles over his knuckles.

“Can you help me stand up, please?” He flashes doe eyes at you, waiting for an answer. You grip his hand tighter and help him rise from the bed. When he is fully standing, he pulls you into a hug so swiftly that you wobble a bit.

He buries his head into your neck and mumbles something incoherent, and you don’t bother to ask him to repeat himself. You hold each other for just a second too long.

“Sorry, I just wanted to look out the window.” He hobbles over to the giant window and stops in front of it, placing a hand on the frame and leaning on it.

“New York City used to be so beautiful, don’t you think?” He continues to stare longingly at the world outside his room.

“I think it’s still gorgeous.” You stand next to him, placing a hand on his bicep to make sure he doesn’t lose his balance.

“Of course you would. Any world with you in it should be grateful to have you.” He turns towards you and removes your hand from his arm, placing a hand on your waist. He looks down at you with an unreadable gaze.

You look up at him and cup his face in your hands, smoothing your thumb over his cheek. His brown eyes sparkle with an ambition that you haven’t seen in all of your days of knowing him. He looks down at your lips and you notice. He leans in, and you follow suit, connecting your lips in harmony.

“You are the most beautiful thing in all of New York City, Harry.”

an: hello! i hope this was what you were looking for, i got a little carried away. this was a lot of fun! thank you for the ask again!

[more harry content here]

#harry osborn #harry osborn x reader #harry osborn x y/n #harry osborn ps5 #harry osborn fanfiction #msm2 #insomniac spiderman #spiderman 2 ps5 #spiderman ps4 #peter parker #spiderman #x reader #fanfiction #y/n

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aihoshiino · 26 days

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chapter 145 thoughts!

what even was this chapter, y'all. i'm getting a migraine.

While it certainly wasn't actively bad, it basically hits on enough of the issues I've been having with the Movie Arc that if you've been reading my chapter reviews lately, you could probably write this one yourself. Weird pacing, skipping over interesting parts of the movie, continued framing of AQRB as a shallow gag and failing to follow on any of the implied development from or literally any referenced fallout of the kiss in 143? It's all here, babes. It would ultimately just be boring and redundant for me to go over all that at length again, so I won't.

I will however say that I'm pretty disappointed we're blasting through what had the potential to be some really interesting bits of postmortem characterization for Ai, even filtered through 15YL. I don't mind the manga breezing past scenes we saw firsthand but like… how did Ai react when she realized she was pregnant? How did she feel, especially given that Spica once again emphasized her longing for a family of her own? IDK. The way the story is suddenly jolting forwards in these last few chapters and skipping such huge chunks of Ai's life ultimately feels very strange and I don't know what to make of it yet.

Everyone reacting to Crow Girl's acting was pretty funny though I'm kind of exhausted with Ruby's Gaga-For-Oniichansensei Gag Character flanderization. IDK if my tolerance for it is just decreasing or if it really is amping up, but at least in the 125-137 stretch I at least got the sense that they could be in the same room and have a normal conversation but ever since 139, it feels that bit more relentless. I imagine this would be less irritating if we knew how the aftermath of 143 had played out but it really seems like the manga is going to drag this out until we're all old and grey.

THAT SAID, this chapter does confirm that Aqua's hoshigan stayed white after that chapter and… eh. Who even knows what that means lol. It does at least imply that his talk with Ruby has brought him back to Baseline Aqua but Baseline Aqua is still a guy with every single mental illness on planet earth so I don't know if that's the world's biggest W quite yet. It certainly implies an improvement over double black hoshigan but… again, with Aqua being so totally cut off from the readers this whole arc and no idea of what happened in the aftermath of 143, it's impossible to make a meaningful guess as to wtf is going on with Aqua right now.

Oh yeah, uh. This chapter also I guess constitutes the reveal of how the AQRB reincarnation happened. I guess LMAO. Honestly, I don't have much to say about it other than it feels like a bit of an anticlimax for me? The idea works fine, the execution just left me… idk. Whelmed at best, underwhelmed at most. I feel like this backstory and the implied deep fondness for GRSR -> AQRB it implies doesn't really like up with the personality she displays in the Private arc but like, I kind of feel like she was tossed into the story without Akasaka having a clear idea as to what her role was even going to turn into so maybe that's not a surprise LOL

I will say I'm glad this seems to quash the theory that Aqua and Ruby were secretly capital-G Gods, instead framing it as a Tsuru no Ongaeshi type return of kindness to two otherwise mundane people. There was some fun fan theorizing around the idea, but for me personally, Oshi no Ko is most interesting when it focuses on that aspect of the story Akasaka highlighted in an interview recently, of human relationships being warped by the entertainment industry and I think an explosion of the emotional stakes to the cosmic scale of AQRB (or tbh any of the characters) being Secretly Gods All Along would be a bit of a shark jump for me and would really shift away from what I like about the series most.

That's kind of it for this one…! Not really a lot to say about this chapter, which is why most of this review was me explaining why I didn't have a lot to say about it.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #chapter reviews #onk spoilers

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comradekatara · 2 months

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IDK if you're still giving your thoughts on AtLA ships but I would feel remiss if I didn't shoot my shot and pitch yuetara. I know on the surface this is going to immediate read like “yuekka but gay” except I FIRMLY reject the idea that the siblings are interchangable. They bring different dynamics to the relationship! and I love yuekka, don't get me wrong here, but for no fault of its own it suffers from only having a couple episodes to develop and a mostly cishet writing team doing a lot of “he's a guy and she a girl, could I make it anymore obvious?” doing a lot of the heavy lifting. WE know Sokka has a lot to offer as a partner, but from Yue's perspective Sokka is yet another man that vaults into her life and immediately wants [something from] her.

But Katara. Here she comes, granddaughter of the woman who rejected their status quo that is supposed to be there to keep them safe? And she Got Away with it, went on to lead a happy fulfilled life, and years later that granddaughter rolls right up to their master bender, an elder, A Man, one of the pillars holding up the system, and forming the bars of Yue’s cage as a physical representation that he was Wrong. And this girl spits his authority back in his face, tells him where to shove it, and somehow against every odd, she bends him to listen?? Can you imagine living your whole life being told that every part of you belongs to someone else, that you will never be a person before you're a daughter, wife, mother, princess, and then out of a clear blue sky on the day of your birth, where it's been announced you're about to change hands from one man to another, a girl just like you blows in like a typhoon, and says there's another way. Wouldn't you fall just a little bit madly in love with her?

Yue is shown that she CAN choose freedom for herself... and it makes her choosing duty in the end so much more meaningful? She could walk away. She was not born to be a prop and a sacrifice, no matter what even THE FUCKING MOON intended, she can be a whole person on her own. And ugh, the symbolism of taking up the mantle of the moonspirit so that KATARA can have her bending still!! The heartache of knowing now that everytime she bends, yue is RIGHT THERE. Literally to Moon and the OCEAN paralells FUCK.

Putting aside that korrasami crawled so that a lot of today's queer flavored kids media can even think about walking, I truly believe that if AtLA had been a product of the late 20teens or 2020’s that yuetara would have been THE ship. Anyway, sorry for the inbox blast, you're just the Katara conisuer and if you have thoughts I wanna hear em.

okay, to be clear, all of this is obvious to me. you make a compelling argument, but it’s hardly something I haven’t already considered when thinking about this ship.

however, there’s something very beautiful to me about yue’s story being a tragedy, and I think that while warping that narrative to be about feminist liberation through the power of lesbian love is obviously a noble goal, yue and sokka being two people who are confined and stifled by their respective obligations to patriarchal duty whose happiness is fundamentally impossible because neither of them can imagine a world beyond the bars of their cages is nonetheless far more interesting than a narrative wherein someone “rescues” yue from adhering to patriarchal standards and shows her a brand new world.

it’s actually very fascinating to me that sokka refuses to talk about himself, and whenever yue asks him questions about himself and his home, he is self-deprecating. besides his first attempt to claim that [by virtue of being the son of the chief] he is sort of like a prince himself, it’s clear that spending time in the nwt, who look down on their southern counterparts, wears on his self-esteem because he is predisposed to insecurity. you’re right in that katara is nothing like sokka. she wouldn’t be insecure, dismissive, cagey about her past, tacitly accepting of yue’s resigned obligation to her arranged marriage, or attempting to repress her feelings around yue. she would be bold, loud, confident, agentic, and willingly vulnerable, as she is with every potential love interest. perhaps their relationship would still end in tragedy, but it would be anything but quiet.

and if that kind of obvious bombast is what you want out of a romance, then fine, you do you. but personally, the beauty of yue’s role in the narrative to me is specifically how she foils sokka as someone who sacrifices, diminishes, and martyrs herself for the sake of her people. she literally has obligations to her tribe and to her father!!!!! she and sokka inform each other so beautifully because they are so similar and equally constrained by their perceived obligations and lack of agency.

the fact that sokka is who she gets close to whereas katara merely represents a sort of unattainable ideal to her is intentional, it’s part of the point. if yue is sokka’s moon, shining brightly above him but always out of reach, then katara is yue’s moon, kanna is yue’s moon, every woman who had the agency to liberate themselves from this system in which yue has no choice but to participate is her moon. and by becoming the moon, yue sacrifices herself, her humanity, her body, but she also liberates herself, frees herself from the contraints of being a woman in society. she kisses sokka to reclaim her agency, because kissing him as she had wanted to had been denied to her, and now that she is no longer bound to these earthly standards, she finally can.

yes, we are introduced to yue through sokka and not the other way around (i shouldn’t have to explain that that is how basic storytelling sequencing works), but yue is immediately interested in him, sees a kindred spirit in him, longs for him. maybe he is initially struck by her beauty, but he treats her with kindness and humanity, and he never asks for anything from her besides what she is willing to give him (which is the point. they’re at an impasse, and so their tragedy is inevitable. unlike suki, who is willing to take the lead and basically forces sokka into experiencing happiness lmfao). also, for the record, they already are a beautiful butch/femme couple. to me.

but yeah, if you really want to see a bold, courageous girl fight to liberate a repressed, abused girl from the clutches of patriarchal violence, you can just watch revolutionary girl utena free on youtube. in fact, you all should. it’s much better than atla.

#lizardlicks #asks #katara #yue #sokkaxyue #analysis #katara IS deeply important to yue #but it’s also very important to yue that her primary arc is with sokka #katara and aang both INSPIRE yue #but sokka ANGUISHES her #and personally. I love anguish :)#especially when it involves sokka :)

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bloodbrown · 6 months

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I'm gonna offer a little morsel to chew on that's been driving me insane😳 for your consideration, imagine on the off chance P manages to take an actual break at the hotel, not just a quick round of chats with everyone, or weapon/strength upgrades, but a full on extended break.

And during that break he discovers he's got a love of reading, and just so happens to gravitate towards the sweet and sappier type of books! (He of course reads anything that piques his interest, but for the sake of this thought I'd imagine that he keeps to these softer books as a sort of escape from the horrors beyond the hotel!🥺)

And in these books he keeps learning about all the ways in which humans and characters show affection: The plethora of darling terms of endearment or the meaningful warmth that comes from a special nickname, the endless tiny ways to show concern or care. It's the gentle kiss placed on the inside of a wrist, giving someone your umbrella/overcoat when the rain or chill is too much, looking into someone's eyes and being so whole heartedly lovestruck it makes your chest ache and heart thump a fierce pace.

(I think he'd get really caught up on the concept of when a couple is heading to bed one will often sleep on the side closest to the door, that even when asleep they want to shield their beloved🥺)

After his discovery I honestly think he'd become a bit of a mother hen, doting and even a dash fretful at that! He once saw you make your way down the stairs of the hotel without holding onto the railings, nearly tripping and straining your ankle. You try to pull that stunt after he's read his books? Right in front of lover boy? You are getting a glower and have a choice to make, either the railing or his hand, you have to hold one! >:(

I'm telling you, he may be made out of rigid cogs and unfeeling metal, has single handedly ravished droves of enemies and terrors, but this man has sugar glass ribs and a jelly heart, so unendingly sweet and warm, and if he could I bet he'd open his chest and give you his very own heart, hoping you'd see how the pace of its ticks speed up, just for you.

I have so so many more sappy sweet thoughts, and I hope it wasn't an annoyance to get such a behemoth of an ask, but from one P enjoyer to another I wanted to send something in! <:) I hope you're doing well, and have a wonderful rest of your day/night! ^^ (Oh and!! just wanted to say that I love all of the writing and hc's that you do for the mad lad, you capture him wonderfully!🥺)

I absolutely love the idea that P realizes he should get a day off like everyone else. He's worked to the bone every day, poor guy. And can't imagine Geppetto would be too happy about his Ergo-harvesting puppet realizing that he can take breaks lol

And P would totally take romance novels to heart, I bet he'd also take to writing little love letters and leaving them around for you to find... even if his handwriting is less than stellar 🥺

He is such a bleeding heart of a man, and I say this with the ultimate amount of affection.

Also I'm never annoyed by asks, even long ones, most of the time they make my day 🐸

#bloodbrown asks #pinocchio #lies of p #lies of p x reader #p x reader #pinocchio x reader #November 2023

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gaonsguitarpicks · 11 months

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LOST AND FOUND - GAON

♬ Gaon x gn reader ♬ fluff, Gaon cursing and having a mental breakdown about a lost guitar pick ♬ 1.5k+ words ♬ Summary: “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever.” A quote about a guitar pick and the hidden meanings connected to it. ♬ Note: I’m sorry, I had to write about his poor guitar picks, I HAD TO—

It’s been a while since Jiseok felt such an overwhelming sense of panic that all he could think was, “I'm fucked.”

At first it's just a factual judge of his reality, however there's no human who would willingly admit that they're fucked without trying to resist such a terrible fate first. Jiseok is the same, so he keeps repeating this one sentence like the meaning of it would change if he said it enough times. All the while, he's making a mess of his room.

Not here.

He proceeds to the living room and repeats his previous frantic searching and cursing.

Not here either.

He moves to the kitchen and checks the pantry, double checks the fridge even though it's ridiculous to even imagine that it would be there, but according to his friends, that's also a common place it could be.

Well, it's not there now.

He searches the bathroom and takes out every single one of his clothes to check their pockets.

Nope.

He looks into the toilet and prays that he didn’t accidentally flush it down. (Also wouldn’t be the first time.) In any case, he can't really confirm it, can he?

But Jiseok can't give up. This was a present you gave him for his birthday a month after the two of you started dating. He still remembers that you were visibly embarrassed since at that time, you didn’t know each other well yet, so you weren’t sure what to gift him. You wanted it to be meaningful but not too big, and in the end, you gave him a guitar pick that you customized yourself. It had both of your names on it and Jiseok's favorite colors, and he could never forget how happy it made him. It was a very special gift that made him fall completely in love with you, and he thought of it as a charm signaling the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

Jiseok suddenly stopped in the center of the living room with his feet rooted to the ground.

Does this mean you will break up with him because he lost the guitar pick???

"Um… what’s wrong with you?" Seungmin comes out of his room and the first thing he sees is Jiseok having a full mental breakdown in the middle of the living room so granted, he's a little concerned.

Jiseok looks at him like he's seeing hope itself, which is also pretty concerning.

"Have you seen my guitar pick?"

"Dude," Seungmin starts slowly, so the crushing truth of the reality won't break his friend even more, "I see your picks everywhere."

And Jiseok knows that, because it happened at least a hundred times today that when he was almost happy to find the one he was looking for, it turned out to be a different one.

"Well, I'm fucked."

Seungmin decides to ignore him and continue his way to the kitchen because he's hungry and this is not his problem. He also knows what pick in particular Jiseok is talking about because he obviously wouldn’t even try looking for any of the others. He doesn’t have much sympathy, though, he’s had it coming. Maybe the shock will teach him to not leave his picks littered everywhere anymore.

He casually takes out an ice cream from the freezer, and because Jiseok hasn't moved at all and he's a good friend, he tries to be a bit more helpful.

"Didn't you say you keep it in a safe place so you wouldn't lose it?"

"Yeah," Jiseok looks up and stares straight into his eyes, "but it's not there."

"Well, good luck figuring out how to apologize." Seungmin pats his devastated friend on the shoulder and goes back to his room to eat his ice cream in peace. He tried.

Jiseok keeps standing there, in the middle of the living room, and considers possible scenarios.

The safe place mentioned above is in his room, on his nightstand, so he can always see it and fiddle with it while he’s lying in bed. This way he can also easily pick it up and use it when he feels like it without having to look for it, though he usually only uses it when he misses you or plays especially for you. He’s overly conscious about his bad habit of constantly losing his guitar picks, so he always makes sure to put it back on his nightstand after he’s done using it.

However, there is no guarantee that he didn’t just forget about it one day and took it out somewhere.

His phone buzzes in his hand, shocking him back to reality, and he looks at the death sentence displayed on the screen in the form of a text message.

[ I’ll be there soon 🥰 ]

He frowns, speedrunning his thoughts in his mind to figure out why you would come over at this critical timing. Then he finds that one thought buried between the others: you agreed to go out for lunch today.

This means Jiseok has exactly fifteen minutes to either figure out where the guitar pick is or as Seungmin said, how to apologize for losing it.

One part of him thinks that if he’s being honest with himself, it’s a miracle that he didn’t lose it for this long, so you can’t be too mad at him. The other part is full-on panicking because he feels that what he lost this time isn't a simple guitar pick but a special, heartfelt present from you. What if you think that he doesn’t care about you or that he doesn’t treasure what you give him, and you consider him a bad boyfriend and want to break up with him?

He absolutely cannot let that happen!

In conclusion, he will use the remaining thirteen minutes to collect very valid and convincing points and arguments about how he is the perfect boyfriend that you should never leave.

He still jumps out of his skin when he hears the door open but he’s quick enough to take on a determined expression like it’s do or die now.

“Hey, are you ready to…” you cut yourself off. You immediately notice that something is off because your boyfriend is not breaking off into a smile and attacks you with a hug after seeing you. He’s just standing in front of you, his whole posture looks stiff and his eyes a little frantic. “Is something wrong?”

For a second, Jiseok looks up and mumbles something - probably a prayer - before he promptly falls to his knees.

“I’m so sorry for losing the special guitar pick you gave me for my birthday I’ve looked for it everywhere but I can’t find it I have no idea where I could’ve left it—”

“What?” You try to cut in because you’re very confused about this whole situation but he’s rambling like a speech he memorized by heart and he can’t even hear your voice anymore.

“—I’m so sorry I swear I always put it back to its place and I was so careful not to lose it because you gave it to me and—”

“Jiseok…” you try again but he just keeps going on.

“—it genuinely made me so happy and I love it and I love you so much I’m so so so sorry please don’t break up with me I—”

“Kwak Jiseok!” You crouch down to him and lightly tap his cheeks with your palms to ground him. You sigh in relief when he finally shuts up and his eyes focus on you. By this time you managed to grasp the situation and all you can do is look at him fondly, feeling a bit sorry. You caress his cheeks with your thumbs to calm him down, and you tell him in a gentle but firm voice, “It’s okay, I’m not mad at you.”

“You aren’t?” He blinks at you like this is a completely unexpected turn of events.

“I’m not.”

“Oh.”

“Actually,” you say, letting go of his face and reaching into your pocket, taking out the guitar pick that was in the center of today’s events, “you left it at my place when you came over last time.”

“Oh.”

Jiseok goes a little cross-eyed as he looks at the guitar pick, there’s a moment of silence before his face lights up and he starts laughing. His laughter sounds a little like his soul and his sanity escaped his body but at this point, you can understand it.

Then he suddenly grabs your hands still holding the guitar pick and declares with such a pure, innocent joy that you can’t help but smile with him, “It came back to me!”

You don’t know this but you bringing back the guitar pick to him meant so much more than you simply forgiving him for losing it. It was a new beginning, a second chance, something that made him even more sure that you’re the one for him. He had a feeling that no matter what happens in the future, no matter what difficulties force distance between the two of you, you would come back to him, just like this guitar pick.

#xdinary heroes imagines #xdinary heroes scenarios #xdinary heroes fluff #xdinary heroes x reader #xdinary heroes gaon #kwak jiseok #gaon imagines #gaon scenarios #gaon fluff #gaon x reader #this feels a bit messy #but it's kinda supposed to be like that so it's fine #i can't believe i managed to finish it #i honestly wanted to give up halfway through #but this fic needs to be in this blog #it's part of my identity slkdjfslkdfj

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