#where he was ostracized by normal people

[lovecatsys]

oughggh something that makes me insane about the dynamic between Akihiro and Laura is that they're both outcasts who see themselves as Different than everyone else but the contrast is that Laura in the early days doesn't understand a lot of social skills and societal rules even if she has some idea she has a hard time following by them. but she Wants So Badly to be like other people, to be Human, she wants to fit in and she tries so hard to because she wants to be good, she wants to be better than her upbringing.

Meanwhile Akihiro has always understood societal rules and expectations, social skills, etc and is able to use them to fit in perfectly into whatever role he is playing at the moment, but he doesn't actually Care about following them at all. He's an outcast who has always viewed himself as being different than everyone else and he doesn't care at all about fitting in or trying to live in human rules. Because he doesn't care about anyone else, he doesn't want to do good, he likes hurting people because he has lost sight of their relevance.

It sets up such an interesting contrast between the two of them, Akihiro can fit in but he doesn't want to, Laura can't fit in but she wants to. Akihiro was groomed to be a killer and it's all he wants to be, Laura was created to be a killer but she wants to be good. Akihiro doesn't understand why Laura wants to do good and wants to fit in when she has such power, Laura doesn't understand why Akihiro limits himself by separating himself from society. They intrigue each other because they come from such similar places but have such different values and goals. But Akihiro is especially intrigued by why she is like this, and seeing this in her is what helped him change to be more like her.

#i think a HUGE part of why there is this difference between them is that #laura was literally FORCED to be a killer from the moment she was born. she had no choice. no other option. #she saw other Normal people living their normal and happy lives and wanted that for herself #because she never had that #akihiro on the other hand Was normal #had a normal life #and it was so traumatizing and shitty for him #where he was ostracized by normal people #so when he was given the chance to be Not Normal #to hurt back the society that had hurt him #he took it #obviously he was groomed and manipulated towards this #but i think his upbringing had a Huge part of this #theyre so fascinating. #fav: maybe power is all i have. or all i need #fav: no one owns me! i’m not a thing. i’m laura kinney! i’m the daughter of sarah. i’m the daughter of logan. i’m wolverine!! #r: i’m not here for the island #akihiro #laura kinney #x men

[gay-jesus-probably]

Okay so I have a lot of thoughts about the whole thing of the Gerudo being a race of entirely women, with the only exception being one man born every hundred years, and that man automatically being their king. Now this worldbuilding comes from Ocarina of Time, and there's obviously a metric fuckton of unfortunate implications there, because it was 1998. And it seems that Tears of the Kingdom is sticking with the lore of Gerudo men being extremely rare and becoming the King of their people, which once again has a metric fuckton of unfortunate implications because it's 2023 and Nintendo has somehow gotten even worse about this shit.

But let's set aside the whole... everything, and look at this from just the in-universe perspective. How does it work? I mean, it's pretty clear that there is no overlap between the kings; the old ones are normally long gone by the time a new one is born, but the Gerudo manage to take care of themselves during the hangtime. So they must have an established system of government and leadership that doesn't involve a king, and somehow that system is set up in a way that does a smooth transfer of power once a new king is born and old enough to take the throne. But why bother always declaring a random guy to be your King when you already have a perfectly functional system in place?

I mean again, the whole thing has a lot of sexist implications, but we're not looking at this from a real world context, we're examining it in-universe. And we could just go the lazy route and say that their king is in charge just because he's the only man, but I don't like that. I mean come on, the Gerudo are a race of entirely women, and most of their outside problems come from Hylian men being creepy about it. They are entirely a matriarchy; there is literally no reason for their culture to have an inherent respect for men, even if the man in question is one of them. And they're desert people; they live in an extremely harsh and dangerous landscape, if they don't have their shit together, they will die. By sheer necessity, their culture needs to put a lot of value in being practical, because if they're stupid about things, people die. They really can't afford to have a shitty leader take over, and just letting some guy take the wheel doesn't really fit with the way their culture must otherwise work.

So again, why the fuck do they bother having a King?

I think it's mainly just a ceremonial position. Yes, if the guy is a good leader he'll be in charge, but if he isn't good at being a King or isn't interested in the job... fuck it, they've already got a functional government system that's been leading their people the whole time, why fix what isn't broken? The title of Gerudo King isn't about leadership or power. I think it's more about belonging. Because the Gerudo are a culture where every single one of them can be defined in the same way... and there is exactly one exception once a century. Men are considered to be inherently outsiders at the best of times, and more often they're enemies. A man born into this culture is a natural outsider; he is completely unique, and that means he doesn't really fit into his community. And well... when someone is fundamentally different from the rest of their community, they tend to be ostracized.

So I think that's why the position of Gerudo King exists. It isn't about them needing or even wanting a man to lead them. The title of King doesn't need to involve any leadership at all. It's about giving the man born every century a place in their society. It's a way of saying yes, you are one of us, you are a Gerudo, you belong here, you are wanted and you are loved.

The Gerudo know that every hundred years, one of their children will be fundamentally different from all of his peers. And so their society is built to ensure that a child who is completely different from them will still be loved and accepted. He will always have a place in their society. He doesn't need to earn their love, he has it just for existing. These are his people.

The title of Gerudo King isn't an inherent position of authority. It's a promise of acceptance.

#legend of zelda #ganondorf #tears of the kingdom #gerudo #look i have so many thoughts about how their society works #and for the record i really hate the implied bioessentialist gender stuff #but this is my headcanon on the whole gerudo king thing #if their king wants authority he still needs to earn it like everyone else #but they make sure he always has a place among his people #look growing up Different from your peers is a fucking nightmare #as any neurodivergent/disabled/queer kid can attest #i like the idea of gerudo society being structured around ensuring all their children felt like they belonged there #and having a system ready to go for the one kid they KNOW will be the most different

[molsno]

I don't think there's enough discussion of the transmisogynistic voyeurism that's extremely widespread in online spaces. it's definitely a problem offline too but it's become significantly more pervasive and inescapable online.

transmisogynistic voyeurism is an obsession with trans women's internal lives. while traditionally it's usually been focused on our bodies, hormones, sexualities, transitions, and other such aspects that portray us as exotic, artificial, hypersexual mimics of "real" women (this is still largely the case among conservatives), it's taken on a new form in the past several years as society's understanding of transness has slowly improved.

in more recent years, the fascination with trans women and transfemininity, particularly in purportedly progressive spaces, has shifted to focus on the "artificiality" of our womanhood from a sociocultural perspective, rather than from a biological and sexual perspective.

it's become common to see screenshots from 4chan and other similar communities of trans women or transfem eggs posting about their unusual kinks, often with racist or antisemitic undertones. screenshots of ostensibly closeted trans women being transphobic to openly trans people have become commonplace. whenever a trans woman is revealed to be racist or a sexual predator, she becomes the new topic du jour, where everyone has to weigh in and publicly disavow her actions.

you might be thinking, what's the problem with this? after all, shouldn't we be holding racists, antisemites, transphobes, and sexual predators accountable? and while the answer to that question is an unambiguous, resounding "yes!", the problem here is the unusual focus on trans women in particular, and the fact that what's happening doesn't even remotely resemble accountability.

bigotry is not a uniquely transfeminine trait. anyone can be a bigot. however, by and large, even supposed trans allies, people who put "trans women are women" and "terfs dni" in their bio, still secretly see trans women as fundamentally male, due to having been "male socialized" (a notion which very strongly contradicts our own lived experiences). thus, when they see post after post after post of trans women being bigoted, it reifies tme people's beliefs that we are all holders of male privilege who have never had to face oppression before coming out as trans.

this idea is problematic for a number of reasons. first, it denies the experiences of trans women who have been oppressed by other systems before coming out as trans. for example, multiple times in just the past few weeks, I've seen trans women of color accused of being racist, even against people of their own race; as if having to face racism all their lives wasn't bad enough, now they're assumed to be perpetrators of it. however, this idea also ignores the very real effect that transmisogyny has had in shaping our lives, even when we didn't know we were trans ourselves.

when we attempt to talk about this topic - the perception that tme people have of trans women being uniquely bigoted, we are by and large brushed off as seeking to "excuse the actions" of bigoted trans women so that we can be bigoted ourselves. this abject refusal to actually engage with what we are saying to instead paint us as the very people we're constantly made to publicly disavow lest we face social ostracization (even if we have no idea who said people even are) further reifies the stereotype of us as privileged men.

I want you to imagine for a moment if trans men were subjected to this kind of voyeurism instead. on an average day scrolling through tumblr, you'd see a post of a trans man's nsfw blog where he shares posts about how rape should be legal, right alongside his bloodplay and cannibalism kink posts, accusing trans men of normalizing rape and murder. another post would show a screenshot of the trans guy who proclaimed to have been hitler in a past life, accompanied by comments demanding trans men take responsibility by purging their community of people like him. you'd scroll down a little further and see a screenshot of a terf blog with "dysphoric female" in bio where they complain about how a trans man they know has been brainwashed by "gender ideology" with all of the comments hoping they figure out their gender identity but still vehemently disavowing them and asserting they would feel unsafe around such a person even after coming out.

the reason that doesn't happen is because biological essentialism runs rampant even in queer spaces. trans men, who were afab, are often presumed to be incapable of harm due to having been "female socialized". trans men don't have their kinks publicly shared to paint them as dangerous because they're generally assumed to be victims of sexual violence, not perpetrators. trans men aren't collectively held accountable for the actions of one trans man they don't even know because a trans man doing harm is believed to be an anomaly, and thus can be dealt with on an individual basis. that last example is especially laughable, because trans men who were formerly terfs are often lauded as heroes for sharing their stories and offered condolences for having been victims of "cult brainwashing".

the fact that this kind of voyeurism does happen to trans women is because, having been amab, we are presumed to be the perpetrators of harm rather than victims. that's not to say that trans women can't be bigoted or dangerous; clearly they can, or else this kind of voyeurism couldn't exist in the first place.

trans women can be racist, trans women can be antisemitic, trans women can be transphobic, trans women can be sexual predators, and so on. these things are all true. however, they are not more likely to be true of trans women than of other demographics. that's the point I'm trying to make here.

stop and consider for a moment, what accountability actually means. are racist, antisemitic trans women being held accountable when you share screenshots of the bigotry they post anonymously on 4chan? does that screenshot you reblogged of an assumed transfem egg being transphobic to an out trans person hold them responsible for their transphobia? is that racist trans woman who's a convicted sexual predator sentenced to prison being held accountable when you share detailed documentaries about her crimes? are they facing consequences for their actions because of you raising awareness about them?

in the vast majority of cases, the answer is no. what's really happening is that you're raising outrage about trans women, and demanding that all of us publicly disavow and distance ourselves from them, even when we have no idea who they are, so that you won't come after us next. you're upholding the idea that trans women hold a "male privilege debt" that we can never fully repay but must endlessly strive to repay regardless. this obsession with our perceived socially male traits has got to stop.

#txt #transmisogyny #my writing #sorry this is so long I know people are gonna take this in the worst faith possible and I had to debunk all their counterpoints in advance #1k

[analyticalstarz]

In honor of autism awareness month, here's a full comprehensible list as to why I think Rui is autistic, or at the very least, neurodivergent !!!! - 1, For starters, he was ostracized by his classmates for presumably almost a decade (2nd grade - 1st yr of high school), all because he was "different" and nobody around him could properly understand him. This has resulted in him struggling to form and maintain relationships. As stated in his second focus event, Revival My Dream, when he was a kid, Rui had a hard time conversering with his classmates because he felt as if he couldn't connect with them.

He's interested in more niche things, like robotics,

and he was also interested in things that people normally regard as "scary", such as moths;

After he became fond of shows and theater as well and attempted to include his classmates in one he thought of in an attempt to grow closer to them, his idea ultimately backfired since his classmates thought his way of directing was "dangerous", and this is where the ostracization seemed to start.

(translation by Arvon Oven) Being ostracized and shunned is unfortunately a common thing with people who have autism, and as I mentioned previously, Rui was alone for presumably seven years straight, all because he was regarded as "different". - 2, He has "restricted, obsessive interests" that can be seen as hyperfixations/special interests. Ever since he was a child, Rui's been heavily interested in both robotics/inventing and shows. A hyperfixation is described as, "A complete obsession with or absorption into a particular task. The task can be a hobby, a TV show, a subject of interest, or something else. People who hyperfixate may tune out the world around them and ignore important responsibilities, such as eating or sleeping." Rui's interest in shows specifically can be seen as a hyperfixation, as in the first side story of his Unforeseen Keynotes (or Unexpected Happenings according to the English translation) card, Rui was so engrossed in thinking about the next show they'd be doing, he had completely forgotten that Robo-Nene was due for maintenance, and Nene mentions that this wouldn't be the first time he's forgotten to eat or sleep because of how engrossed he gets in his thoughts while thinking about shows.

Nene also mentions in Wonderlands x Showtime's main story that Rui becomes so absorbed in his shows that he "loses sight of everything else", (In the original Japanese version, she says "When it comes to shows, he isn't able to look at his surroundings, so things never work out".)

and also in KAMIKOU FESTIVAL!, where he mentions that his tendency to put shows "at the center of everything" might be a flaw of his;

(translation by Ren) It's also mentioned in A Once-In-A-Lifetime Pandemonium!? that he'll get so absorbed in his thoughts while thinking of shows, he'll completely forget about his surroundings.

(translation by tsukasa’s #3 fan) - 3, He has texture issues, which is also common with people who have autism. It's been mentioned multiple times throughout the course of the game that he detests vegetables, but more specifically cucumbers and things in the cucurbitaceae family (such as watermelon & pumpkin), because they all share the same texture.

He mentions in an area conversation with Nene that he usually only eats at restaurants he's familiar with (he sticks to routine; another thing common with people who have autism), so eating out has never been an issue to him, and he even refused to eat vegetables when they were quite literally stranded on a deserted island and in a life-threatening situation.

- 4, He info-dumps. A lot.

This one is pretty self-explanatory, I think. - 5, He's overly logical and struggles with his emotions. He's had trouble on multiple occasions understanding his emotions, such as in Full Power! Wonder Halloween! where he unconsciously holds himself back after inadvertently injuring Tsukasa with one of his inventions, but he didn't realize that he was even holding himself back until somebody pointed it out, and he didn't realize that he was holding himself back because he was worried, either. Something similar happens in Heat Up! Kamikou High Cheering Squad! where he unconsciously holds himself back because he feared being shunned again, but once again, he didn't realize the reason for him holding himself back until somebody pointed it out for him. In the first side story of his I Can't Afford to Lose *4 card, Rui comes to the Sekai, hoping to talk to somebody to put his mind at ease. As he runs into Meiko and Luka and they ask him what's wrong because he seemed down, Rui says that "I just wanted to think about production, but my feelings got in the way of thinking". He then says "Feelings really are troublesome. / Sometimes, you have to hold them back with all of your might... It'd be nice if someone other than me could manage these troublesome feelings". (In the English translation, he says "Emotions are so complicated and can be so troublesome at times. / There are even times when one becomes completely overwhelmed by them... If only someone else were able to help put a lid on them.") Lastly, I'd like to mention that in Revival My Dream, after Rui asks his mom if he's different from the people around him, she responds by saying that, yes, he is different, but she also says that she was "just like him" as a child, and seeing how autism is caused mainly by genetics, his mom can very well be autistic too.

Okay, that is all!!! Thank you for listening to me yap :3

#project sekai #pjsk #rui kamishiro #colorful stage #prosekai #pjsk rui #wonderland x showtime #rui pjsk #rui pjsekai #rui project sekai #kamishiro rui #autism acceptence month #autism awareness month #project sekai analysis #I couldn't add images for the 5th one. whoopsies #lmk if I missed anything!!! #this list was quite fun to compile

[pinknipszz]

(a/n: no curses, mentions of dick?)

shogun!ryomen sukuna who earns his title after defeating the great minamoto yoritomo. despite being a nobody from a know-nothing clan, sukuna manages to manipulate quarrels between the recent shogunate and the imperial court with his assertive attitude and impressive rhetoric. it isn’t easy though. yoritomo is cold and cunning and wise beyond his years, but it takes one to know one. after many heated debates, sukuna successfully ostracizes yoritomo in a period of stalemate and assumes the title of shogun.

shogun!ryomen sukuna who defeats the remaining imperial forces and achieves complete control over the country, effectively reducing the emperor’s family to nothing more than a symbol of sovereignty. although he tells the population that the shogunate is lower in status, it’s nothing more than political propaganda. the shogun possesses more power in all facets of japanese society, from trade to judicial functions. in addition, sukuna sells lands to samurai who fought fiercely in the genpei war to garner more support.

shogun!ryomen sukuna who rules with an iron fist. although most of his attendants once belonged to yoritomo, they nearly snap their necks at how fast they bow in sukuna’s direction out of unshakeable fear. he simply exudes raw strength and power in billowing waves, responding to insolence with crushed skulls and mangled figures. his standards are just as stringent, often relegating people deemed “too inferior” for their positions. attendants like to gossip among themselves over where a man like him came from. 

shogun!ryomen sukuna who realizes that an heir is necessary to continue his shogunal reign because unfortunately for him, he’s not immortal. he considers letting a random clan assume the role after his death, thinking that the momentary uproar is enough to satisfy his twisted humor, before realizing that he likes power too much to let it go so easily. plus, now that his subordinates are completely obedient to him, sukuna finds himself bored. and that simply won’t do.

shogun!ryomen sukuna who demands every single family to send a daughter to his estate for choosing. the order alone leaves fathers outraged and mothers crying, but resistance to the shogun is a crime punishable by death, so families concede to his demand with tear-stained cheeks. normally, sukuna isn’t picky with bedding women so long as they’re a good fuck, but now that he plans to create an heir with one, he refrains from sticking his dick anywhere he wants. he needs to play his cards right.

shogun!ryomen sukuna who purchases you with nothing more than a handful of copper and two horses. although there are other beautiful maidens with talents that surely surpass yours, there’s a steely edge in your expression that reveals the contempt that simmers deep in the pit of your stomach. it’s a fierce spirit that challenges his own, the kind of spirit that he wants to snuff out. it thrills him to no end. the decision shocks his attendants, but they don’t dare to disobey when sukuna orders them to fetch your parents.

(masterlist) | (a/n: will prob make a taglist for p2)

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen sukuna #jjk sukuna #sukuna ryomen x reader #sukuna ryomen x you #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna #sukuna ryomen #sukuna imagine #shogun!sukuna

[thewulf]

Pretty Girl || Aaron Hotchner

Summary: So, the request/idea is an Aaron Hotchner x F!Reader where the reader is actually a criminology or psychology professor and is good friends with Spencer... Read Rest Here

A/N: Loosely based on one of my favorite story lines because I sat here for an hour trying to come up with a good enough story that’d stump Reid and failed. Mosely Lane. Doesn't get fluffy until the end. Hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Y/N

Word Count: 5.4k +

Dismissing the class for the weekend you sat back at your desk in the front of the auditorium strumming away at the keyboard. You heard the clapping before you saw him. Eyes crinkling a touch you smiled brilliantly at your longtime friend.

“Another excellent lecture Professor.” He grinned at you.

“Spencer!” You laughed shooting out of your seat hugging the tall lanky man tightly, “To what do I owe this visit to?” You asked after breaking apart from the hug.

His face shifted from one of joy to a downcast expression, “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t serious.” He sighed taking a seat on your desk, “We need some help.”

You nodded listening, “Go on.”

He looked down as if he was ashamed to ask for help. As if he should’ve been good enough to solve it. But nobody was perfect. Sometimes cases can get away from you. You’ve had it happen once when every decision you made was the wrong one. It was always awful when you realized you might’ve made a mistake that got somebody killed.

“Kids. They’re just kids.” His voice wobbled as he looked back up to you. You felt your heart clench at the voice crack, “Another child was found off the Potomac just north of here.”

Your cocked your eyebrow in curiosity, “A local case? How many children?” You asked quickly hopping from professor to profiler in your mind.

He drew a deep breath, “Ten.”

Your eyes widened, “Over how long?” That was a lot of murdered kids. Who in their sick minds could do something like that? You’d been around a lot of sick people in your years in criminology, but this was already coming to the top of the twisted pile. Killing kids was another level of sick you despised coming across.

“A year and a few months.”

Your eyes bugged even further, “Christ.”

He nodded solemnly tossing the case file down on your desk. He watched as you meticulously poured over everything the team had put together in two weeks. You hummed and hawed as you fingers ran across the pages. Reading everything.

“These poor babies.” You let out an equally defeated sigh looking at the pictures of the mutilated bodies of the innocent.

He hummed in agreement, “We can’t figure it out. Another girl just got abducted in the same way the last boy was. We just found his body. I’m missing something here. I can’t see it.” You looked up at him. He looked utterly defeated. Tired eyes gave way to the lack of sleep he’d been getting. Messy hair and wrinkled clothing also adored his figure.

“I’m in. Let’s go.” You shoved your laptop in your bag before closing the massive case file to read in the car.

He gave you a confused look, “Right now? Don’t you have to teach?”

You nodded, “I’ll cancel it. Let’s go. Time is ticking for the girl. First to the office.” Hurriedly, you stood next to him eyeing him to lead the way. He nodded seeing your seriousness, You followed him all the way back to Quantico after calling your Dean. It had some perks, being the Director of Criminology at Georgetown. It almost made you giggle it sounded so ludicrous.

You flashed your badge having consulted on a few cases for different departments of the FBI. Security let you through in a flash. You’d never worked with Spencer on an actual case of his. Hell, he’d normally figure it out before he’d ever dream of pulling an outsider into the team. But even he knew he was missing something. A puzzle piece he couldn’t seem to find. That’s when he thought of you. His longtime friend from postgrad. The two of you were ostracized early in your studies. You for being an incredibly intelligent female and him because he was a know it all. The two of you found each other and the rest was history. You stayed in academia while consulting on the side and Spencer went the FBI route. Luckily, you’d stayed in touch through all the years. You found it easy to love him as a friend once you knew how to deal with the boy genius.

“Team, this is Y/N. Y/N, the team.” Spence said quickly once he all but yanked you into the large conference room on the floor. Your eyes glossed over each of them quickly before falling to the one on the end. Tall, dark hair, dark eyes, and a smoldering look? Whew, he was just your type. He’d make you nervous. You didn’t see a ring on his finger as you scanned him from head to toe quickly.

You nodded bashfully. You could lecture hundreds of students but the eyes of six profilers right on you was rather intimidating, “Hello.” You nodded quickly walking over to the white board that listed intricate details of the case you hadn’t skimmed across in the file.

“Director of Criminology at Georgetown?” The handsome man stood next to you. A quick nod before turning your eyes back to the board.

“Yes, sir.” You cringed at your own voice sounding so unsure of herself. That wasn’t like you, not at all.

You noticed the hard stare turn to curiosity for a second before the stoic gaze returned, “Aaron Hotchner, BAU Unit Chief.”

Ahh, the infamous Hotchner. You had to admit it was almost fun putting faces to the names you’d heard from Spencer throughout all the years. At no time did he mention that Hotch was as striking as you’d found him to be. It never crossed your mind to find them online. It seemed too invasive on Spencer’s life but now you were second guessing that decision.

“Nice to meet you Agent Hotchner.”

He wasn’t being unfriendly, but he certainly wasn’t warm. You could tell he didn’t want you here but agreed out of necessity. They weren’t able to save the seven-year-old boy and Aaron was sure as hell not going to let the little eight-year-old girl meet the same fate because of pride. Even though it stung.

He didn’t reply though, only giving you a quick nod. He stood there rereading the same damn sentences he’d read over a thousand times over the last week.

“This is the order they were taken and killed?” You pointed to the wall seeing the boy-girl pattern curiously.

“Seven-year-old boy and then an eight-year-old girl every time. Over and over.” It sounded like the case had depleted him entirely. Haunted eyes scanned over each of the children’s faces. Helpless. All looking eerily similar too each other.

“And you all interviewed 21 suspects in northern Virginia.” You stated more than questioned as you looked up to the curious eyes. They were expecting you, but they weren’t expecting you.

The blonde woman nodded with a gentle look settling on her face, “All dead ends.”

“Can I read their case files?” You asked ready to spend the next few hours scouring over the notes. Maybe a fresh set of eyes could pick up on something they’d missed.

She nodded running out of the room to grab them. Spencer watched you before joining you at the table as you read through the entire file from where you left off in the car. You thanked JJ when she set another

“Y/N will stay here with Reid. The rest of us, we’re heading back out.” Spencer nodded reading what you were. Still not seeing anything. He watched as you scrunched your eyebrows and highlighted certain words on the page. Gray Honda. Black scooter. Pink bike. What were you onto? What did you see? He wracked his brain as you worked seamlessly between pages.

You read over the next potential suspect. He must’ve heard the small gasp escape from your lips. As he immediately urged you to go on by asking, “What is it?”

“The Darcy’s. We need to go back. There’s something here Spence.” Your finger held over a simple line in the interview. One that’d been glossed over. A seemingly useless detail in a sea of muddled mess of facts and fiction.

He shook his head not getting it continuing to urge on with his eyes, “He messed up. He slipped up and said gray.” You started reading from the transcript, “He said, ‘I took the car out for a spin at that time.’ And then JJ asked, ‘What kind of car to you drive Mr. Darcy?’ He responded, ‘A gray… shoot I mean black Honda Civic. Sold the gray one last year to a family member.’”

His head cocked, “A gray Honda Civic... oh, shit.” He dove into the papers finding exactly what you were looking for, “The interview with the witness who found the body. She spotted a gray Honda along her route.”

You nodded, “She thought it was odd because it was so early in the morning. Nobody is ever out.”

“We need to call Penelope.” Spencer gaped.

He pulled out his phone, “Garcia, who did David Darcy’s sell his car to last year?”

She hummed, “Well hello to you too! Give me a second boy genius.” You heard her typing away through the speaker phone, “Looks like it’s Mike Darcy. His brother.”

He looked at you with nothing but approval. He knew you were good at your job, but this was exceptional. You’d pieced it together so easily he was almost embarrassed he hadn’t caught that himself, “What do you have on him?” He asked. Again, silence with more typing before another really long silence and the faintest gasp.

“Garcia?” Spencer was finding it rather infuriating he was the one on the other side. He was the one who couldn’t seem to piece it all together. It wasn’t like him.

“He lost his entire family in a car accident two years ago. His wife and two children.”

He was shaking his head know all too well the aged of those two children, “An eight-year-old girl and a seven-year-old boy?”

“They don’t call you boy genius for nothing right?” Her laugh sounded strained but relieved. It wasn’t an easy life. Often times so much harder than you could ever dream of. The horror of humanity never ceased to amaze you in the worst ways imaginable.

“Thanks Penny. We gotta call Hotch.” Reid’s eyes were huge before as he dialed his boss’s number, “Hotch, you’re never going to believe this.” He walked off spouting off everything you’d just concluded. Letting out a huge sigh of relief, you listened to your friend off in the distance. It had to be the brother. That had to be the missing puzzle piece.

You felt somebody watching you as you cleaned the files up. You’d begged Spencer to let you go but he straight up refused. Hotch wanted to talk to you or some bullshit like that. You’d, very reluctantly, agreed.

“We looked for days.” His voice sounded harsher. A bit meaner than it did earlier. You turned to meet his eyes that looked how his voice sounded, unhappy with you.

“Just needed a fresh set of eyes was all.” His eyes didn’t change. His state only seemed to harden as he took you in.

“Thank you. She was found safe.” It sounded as if it was torturing him to give you the thanks.

You nodded quickly turning back around to clean the mess up, “Anytime.” He didn’t look bad by any means. Must’ve been a pretty easy arrest. You’d seen Spencer at his worst after unsub’s had been confronted. It was inevitable when you hunted the worst of humanity.

“We won’t be needing your services any longer.” Your heart both sped up and dropped a little at that statement. He didn’t like you. Plain and simple. Had you done something to piss him off? Upset him somehow? You ran through the events of the last few hours and came up miserably short. You’d just have to ask Spencer later.

Before you could respond though an older, almost more intimidating than him, woman walked into the room shaking her head, “That’s not what we agreed on Aaron.” She turned to smile at you, “Erin Strauss, BAU Section Chief.” She walked over to shake your hand eyeing you up. You’d were curious to what she was thinking as she approached you.

“I didn’t agree.” He all but mumbled out. That didn’t sound like the intimidating man that had just tried to put you in your place moments before.

“One vote matters more.” She turned to him. She must’ve given him a look you couldn’t see because he mumbled an agreement. It was surely a sight to be seen. Spencer would eat this one up later. Your longtime friend loved gossiping even though he’d never admit to it.

“That was impressive.” She kept sizing you up, profiling you. She wasn’t shy about doing it either. She’s the big boss and she knew it, used it.

“A new set of eyes can do wonders.” You’d downplay it, for Aaron’s sake. Not that he deserved any of your mercy at this point. He hadn’t exactly been the nicest too you.

She nodded quick, “Sure.” She didn’t have the time to go back and forth with you, “You teach close?”

“Yes I do. Georgetown.” You kept it short and sweet not bothering to elaborate with details she clearly didn’t care about.

A smile broke out on her face, “Dean Willow is a dear old friend of mine. I’ll give him a call. We may call in the future. That is if you want.”

She was giving you the option now, “I would like that. Real world examples are invaluable for my students.” You could’ve sworn you heard a scoff from over her shoulder.

She smiled though, “Wonderful. I’ll give him a call later. Nice to meet you Doctor?” She questioned trying to find out more about you.

You nodded giving her the confirmation you too were one, just like Reid. He wasn’t the only one with a PhD, “Nice to meet you as well Erin.”

She walked off quickly leaving you alone with Aaron. Instead of chatting with him you turned back to the table trying to finish what you’d started long ago, cleaning the damn table up.

“You have no right.” His voice was much louder, much closer now.

Heart hammering in your chest you had to be strategic here, “It was an offer.” Your voice was soft, too soft, and gentle for the moment. You hated confrontation this aggressively, it always seemed to get the best of you.

His lips pursed as he considered his words, “Stay out of the way.” Was all he said before walking out just like Aaron. Yikes. That couldn’t have gone worse.

You’d been called back for almost every local case and even a few further away ones that needed urgency on the clock. That’s where you’d seemed to thrive when the clock was ticking. It never seemed to get better with Aaron. He was cold with you. Never downright mean but brushing the line that he knew he couldn’t cross. Still, you’d never seemed to grow to dislike the man. Spencer let it slip that he felt like he let the entire team down when I came in and solved a case in hours.

You knew how finnicky pride could be. You knew just how dangerous that emotion could turn out to be. You’d let it get the better of you a few times. That was the difference between life and death though. The difference between bringing a family back together or giving them the worst news of their lives. So, you’d give Aaron a pass even if he didn’t really deserve it.

You’d also grown to adore his team. You’d made sure to ask Spencer time and time again to confirm that you weren’t overstepping but he shook it off each time telling you that he enjoyed having you on some of the cases. It brought him back to the fun they had in post-grad all those years ago. Naturally, you’d gravitated towards your friend during the cases you’d been asked to join. Aaron’s eyes always seemed to be glaring at you whenever you caught him. You had a sneaking suspicion you didn’t catch him nearly as often as you did.

Spencer would always just tell you that it was just Aaron. But it had been months now and he was still as ice cold as he was on day one. One by one you’d become close with each of the other members but never dreamed of approaching him. He’d let you know just how much he disliked you. You’d gotten the message loud and clear.

A call came through in the dead of night waking you from the light sleep you were in, always ready, “Hello?” You sounded groggy.

“Y/N. It’s Strauss. Another abduction. Fifteen-year-old girl this time.” She didn’t elaborate waiting for your response.

You sighed, “Why is it always children? I’ll be there in forty.”

Sleepily, you drove into Quantico. You were delighted to see you were the last on there, the team already at work. Yawning you slipped into the conference room greeted by a rather

“Y/N! You’re here. I was getting nervous.” Emily smiled patting your shoulder before moving over next to JJ.

Derek laughed, “Pretty boy was just about to call.”

You grinned looking over at Spence, “Sorry guys, the apartment is closer to Georgetown than it is here.” Your commute was just under an hour. Forty minutes if you pushed it.

“We’re just glad you’re here.” JJ chimed in patting the seat next to her, “We think we have a lead, come take a look.”

Hotch watched in awe as you moved to sit next to her. You’d seamlessly integrated yourself as a semi-permanent member of his team. They’d all seen you an integral member to specific types of cases. Cases that had time constraints. And unfortunately for you that seemed to be child abductions more often than not. Had he been too harsh on you? Was he doing it to protect his team that didn’t even need it? He had a sinking feeling he already knew the answers to those questions, and it wasn’t going to be what he wanted to hear.

He continued to watch as Rossi joked with you, Reid smiled far more often than he’d been used to, Derek already gave you the nickname ‘pretty girl’ to match Spencer’s own pretty boy. You brought ease and order to the team. You took the stress and siphoned it out of a situation. Even Aaron had to admit you were a hell of a profiler. He wasn’t blind either. He found you exceptionally beautiful. A detail Spencer conveniently left out.

He knew he might’ve already burnt that bridge with you though. He’d been nothing but an ass to you. You’d never snapped back though. Always taking everything in grace. You knew the pecking order and it wasn’t up to you to dismantle that or shake up the status quo.

Spencer noticed Hotch’s apprehension to his friend. Spence felt awful that his boss had yet to warm up to you. You were nothing but kind and incredibly good at your job. A combination that Hotch was usually a sucker for. Was his pride really that badly wounded?

He heard you let out a string of cuss words seeing the pictures of the last crime scene. Brutal. Absolute brutality. Whomever was doing this to children was beyond help.

“Jeeze Y/N, you kiss your boyfriend with that mouth?” Derek smirked laying it on thick. That comment brought Hotch right back into the present far too curious to hear what you had to say.

You threw your head back in laughter, “Hardly Derek. Between the teaching, directing and this. I don’t have the time to go meet anybody.”

Derek’s eyes flicked to Hotch’s so quickly even you didn’t catch it, “Who says you haven’t met him already?” Your eyes found his, a fiendish persona reveled in your bashfulness after tops of your cheeks turned a twinge pink.

You couldn’t let him win like that. Not with all those eyes listening in to the conversation intently, “In your wildest dreams Morgan.” A wink sent him into a fit of laughter. He too loved your ability to give and take. Knowing how to play along with him seamlessly.

Hotch coughed drawing all those curious eyes back to him, “Let’s get moving. Reid and JJ head back to police station and update the chief on the latest. Emily and Rossi go update the family. Morgan and Y/N you’re with me. Unsubs house.” You gave him a twisted look. You’d never been with him, and you’d certainly never been to an Unsubs residence while on a case. You were a profiler. A professor. Not a cop. Not comfortable with confrontation your heart was already picking up the pace just thinking about it.

“I don’t think this is a great idea sir…” You’d managed to mumble out once most of the team had cleared the room. You were sure your nervousness was full front, and center displayed across your facial features.

He cocked his head studying you again. Always studying you. Always on guard around you, “I think it is.”

You cursed under your breath almost embarrassed to admit it to him, “I’ve never done that before, going to an active scene.”

He shrugged loosening his gaze a smidge for the first in front of you, “First time for everything. You’ve been through the training in the last few months. You can do it.” He nodded eyeing the door but making sure your head was in it before he left. Last thing he needed was you not 100% ready and getting injured. He knew you were ready for it though. He’d had a daft curiously of how you’d handle that type of pressure.

The three of you sped to the crime scene. Morgan forced you to sit up front by diving into the truck and taking the entirely of the back seat up shooting you a sly grin before shutting the door. You felt the weight of the bulletproof vest

“Stay behind me, pretty girl. We’ll go room to room on the main level.” Derek spoke with conviction once the three of you made it to the front of the home. Your heart was hammering so hard you could hear the blood echoing in your ears. Focus. You could do this. Aaron believed you could.

Hotch nodded, “I’ll take upstairs. Listen to Morgan.” He ordered before nodding at Derek. All hell broke loose as you went room to room clearing. Before you heard the gunshots upstairs. Morgan rushed upstairs with you behind him. Hotch stood with his gun pointed at the now deceased unsub who had a shotgun in his own procession.

“The girl. Where is she?” You asked turning away from the blood spatter that laced the wall behind the body.

“Go, find her.” He barked turning away from the kill. You prayed that was something you never had to do.

You ran out downstairs searching. It wasn’t until you found the basement door that you flew down there. A strangled gasp came from your throat as you spotted the girl in the corner on a bloody mattress. You shuddered at the thought that it wasn’t only her blood coating that mattress.

“Hotch! Morgan! She’s down here!” You bellowed out dropping the gun immediately and softening your expression after witnessing the shaking, bound girl. She’d been beat up. Quite a few times by the look of differently faded bruises littered haphazardly around her hardly dressed body.

You unzipped your jacket clutching it in your hand. Putting your hands up you dropped down to your knees keeping a distance away letting her know you weren’t a threat. You put your hands up, “Hi sweetheart. My name is Y/N. I work for the FBI and we’re here to help you. Can I bring you this jacket to cover up?” You asked her in your most gentle voice. Like you were talking to the most helpless soul on the planet. She might’ve been at that very moment.

Aaron and Derek watched from the stairwell as you stood up walking over to her with slow small steps. Once you reached her you dropped down again, “Is it alright if I touch you? What hurts the worst sweetheart?”

She shook her head before breaking. Breaking down completely. The tears turned to ugly sobs. She reached out for you, and you grabbed her quickly. Pulling her right into your embrace. She fisted your shirt like her life depended on it unaware of the two men watching the scene unfold before them. They’d called for an ambulance and just had to wait. But you were there for her. He felt a light flutter in his stomach as he watched you caress her face and play with her hair. Whispering in her ear and hold her tight. You were a natural. Aaron could see it plain as day now.

Slowly her harsh wails turned to strained tears. Almost all her energy depleted as she leaned on you. You wrapped your jacket around her small frame to cover whatever decency she had left. The poor babies life was over as she knew it. Her life was going to be an uphill battle from this point going forward. Your heart shattered as you brought her back into your chest. Whispering those sweet reassurances to the utterly broken girl sitting in your lap.

Once the ambulance took her away Hotch turned towards you observing once more. Your usually chipper grin was downturned. It had affected you more than he had sensed. It was hard. Impossible sometimes. And this was a good outcome. An exceptional one even.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” He asked finally letting that guard down.

You nodded so softly he didn’t know if you truly meant it or not, “Yeah. I just… I’ve never done that. Spence always told me stories, but I guess… I don’t know.” You sighed at a loss for words.

He stepped forward placing a hand on your shoulder this time, “It’s okay. It’s difficult. We all know. But think of the good you’d done. You were there for her when she needed it most. We didn’t train you for that. You’re just a good person. Don’t let this job ever take that away from you.”

Your mouth almost dropped as listened to him. He was always a man of so few words this felt like an all on speech for you. So long was that hard gaze you grew to expect over the last few months and was replaced with something much softer and kinder. The look he gave him other agents. The ones he’s known and worked with for years. Maybe Spence was right, maybe he was warming up to you a bit.

Things had been going well. Another month had passed, and you’d been called on for few more cases. You’d refused pay simply because you came and went as you had time. You called it tunning up for your professorship.

Aaron had completely warmed up to you over that time. You were still terribly timid around him. Old habits died hard with you. But he was trying. Making small gestures when you were around. Getting you coffee, holding open the door for you, smiling a little bit more.

It wasn’t lost on the team. They’d seen the change even if you refused to. Spencer constantly bugged you about it once Morgan put a big in his ear. Planted a seed that bloomed in that beautiful brain of his.   

Aaron had a scowl on his face watching you and Spencer joke around in the conference room. Why weren’t you even remotely like that with him?

“You could just tell her instead of shooting daggers at Reid.” Derek clapped his bosses back cracking a smile at him.

“She doesn’t like me.” The scowl dropped as he turned towards his agent.

“So, you think. More intimidated by you than doesn’t like you. You were kind of an ass there for a while.” Derek egged his boss on. It wasn’t often he was able to get under his skin.

Aaron rolled his eyes, through gritted teeth he answered him, “I know Morgan.”

“Why were you anyway?” He asked, digging for more and more. The true king of gossip at Quantico.

He shrugged, “To protect you guys. She was an outsider. We didn’t know anything about her.”

Derek let out a laugh that even drew your attention away from Spencer and over to them. Giving them a sheepish wave, you looked away back to Spence quickly. Aaron’s hard eyes turned soft made you feel a certain type of way. He was back to being that handsome man you first laid eyes on. A man who seemed so far out of your league it was laughable.

“Whatever you want to tell yourself boss man. But we both know that’s not the case. It’s okay to have feelings after Haley. It’s been years Hotch.” Morgan squeezed his shoulders urging his friend on, “I’m going to go grab Reid. Go apologize and tell her how you feel. You might be surprised. Go be happy instead of being jealous.”

He mumbled something incoherent but didn’t stop him. Spencer gave Derek a knowing look. You waved him off turning back to the case you were reviewing. It wasn’t a moment later the same chair Spencer

“I’m sorry.” He spit it out certainly not afraid to beat around the bush with it.

Tilting your head to the side you asked, “What for?”

“Being an ass your first few months here.” Again, he was com

You were a bit stunned, “Oh, thanks. I’m happy to be here.”

“You are an exceptional profiler Y/N and an incredible asset to this team. You’ve got a heart of gold. You work with victims better than anybody I’ve seen. Do you know how heartwarming that is to witness? You’re a natural with it all. So, I’m sorry. I’m so happy to have you here.” He let out a breath after airing it out there.

Your heart rate sped up to that rapid rate that made you feel almost uncomfortable, “You mean it?”

“Every last word.” He looked at you expectantly. It could go either way. Either really good or horrifically bad.

You gave him your first genuine smile. One he’s seen come out for everybody else except for him. Until now, “Thank you Aaron. That was very kind.”

He nodded, “Of course. It’s the truth.” You could tell he wanted to say more but didn’t know how to.

You felt a weird surge of confidence brush over you, “For the record. I’ve really enjoyed working for you. With you. I’ve learned a lot.” You too wanted to say something more, but the words were impossible to think of.

The tension was thick. But Aaron decided to cut it. Throwing caution to the wind, “Since you technically don’t work here I don’t think what I’m going to say next is really crossing the line.” He breathed taking a second before gathering the courage he needed, “You are absolutely beautiful Y/N. Inside and out. You’ve been chipping away at my heart ever since you stepped into this world. You are exceptional. I like you. Way more than a boss should. Way more than a friend should.”

Your mouth did drop this time. That was everything you wanted to hear and exactly what you expected not to hear. He liked you? You’d thought back on the month and didn’t see the signs. It seemed so obvious once he spoke it so clearly.

You started giggling at the hilarity of it all.

“What?” He asked smiling, easing back in his chair feeling eased by the lightness of the room.

“I can profile everything but my own damn life.” You kept giggling only to be stopped when he grabbed your hands.

“You’re even prettier when you laugh like that.”

Your blush was mad by now, “Thank you Aaron.”

“Would you let me take you out sometime? On a date? A proper one. Where we get dressed really nice. I’ll take you to a fancy restaurant. All that jazz.”

You smiled even wider, “If that’s really what you want.”

Squeezing your hand as a confirmation he nodded, “Pretty girl, it’s all I want.” His grin was everything as you both sat there smiling at each other like two lovesick fools.

Permanent Taglist (Message me or comment below if you want to be added!): @loving-and-dreaming @kmc1989 @memeorydotcom @matisse556

Request Taglist: @evansflowers

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotcher #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchner fluff #hotchner x you #hotchner x reader #criminal minds #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotch x reader #hotch x you #hotch criminal minds #hotch x reader #hotch x y/n #aaron hotch fic #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch fluff #aaron hotch imagine #hotch #ssa hotchner #aaron hotch hotchner #ssa aaron hotchner #feral hotch friday #criminal minds aaron hotch #criminal minds angst

[heliads]

Can I request a Loki x fem reader where the reader is a super kind empath Avenger and comforts Loki, who also has been recruited as an Avenger (very reluctantly) but is still a bit ostracized from everyone else on the team. The reader is able to see how poorly Loki was treated in the past and promises to be there for him. They both end up falling in love but are too afraid to tell each other (the reader is able to feel this weird warm and fuzzy emotion Loki directs at her and she can’t pin point what emotion it is). They end up confessing when Loki sees an avenger member take advantage of the readers sweetness so he steps into comfort her. He confesses and they kiss 😚

Also have an amazing day and take your time with requests!!!

hope you have an amazing day too!

masterlist

If you squint ever so slightly, peer out from the reach of your favorite chair just enough to see into the surrounding hallway, you can almost make out the silhouette of Tony Stark pacing back and forth outside his office door. 

As resident empath of the Avengers team, you’re in charge of reconnaissance, general battle backup, and checking in on everyone to make sure they’re still intact. You’ve also gone ahead and assumed that to mean that you can use your abilities to read the hearts of your teammates. Hey, it’s what they hired you to do, right? It’s not like you’re scanning their minds, now that would be invasive. All you’re doing is sensing how they’re feeling. Anyone could do that with a bit of good knowledge on body language.

You shift slightly, and there– you can just make out a cloud of colors circling Tony’s figure. That’s how emotions have always appeared to you ever since you were a kid. When people are having a perfectly normal day and not too much has happened, you’ll only be able to pick up on a tendril or two of colored smoke around their frame, a few hints at happy or sad but nothing too special. 

Conversely, when something crazy is going on, it’s like they’re walking out of a bank of mist, Mr. Darcy at the end of Pride and Prejudice (2005)-style. For instance, at this very moment you can’t even tell what shade of shirt Tony is wearing through the dense emotion rattling around him.

This is obviously a sign that something is going on. Usually, Tony’s pretty laid back, or at least he pretends to be. Cool blue is his trademark. Sometimes, closer to missions or just after them, you’ll see bright lime or sickly yellow lancing through them, panic and stress from too much pressure on his shoulders. You can sense his anxiety attacks before they start. Tony has no idea how many times you’ve used your gifts to divert those things, and if you have it your way, he’ll never figure it out.

Tony’s not panicking right now, though, or not in the way that you’re used to. Instead of purple or blue, all you can see around him is red, blazing red. Tony’s not usually a red kind of guy. Red means anger, outrage, and by the looks of him now, something has happened to cook up a regular bonfire of irritation.

As you watch, though, more colors join the fray. You can spot uneasy yellows and greens, an undercurrent of fear. What could possibly be going on to make Tony so unhappy? The situation is complicated, to be sure, but that’s nothing new around the Avengers. Take it from a S.H.I.E.L.D.- registered empath:  no one ever feels just one thing at one time. There’s always a dozen different emotions swirling in between your heart and head. And right now, Tony’s got quite a few to chew on.

Unable to contain your curiosity, you get up from your seat and pad over to him. Tony almost flinches when he turns and sees you, but he rubs a tired hand over one eye and greets you like normal.

You arch a brow at this attempt at pretending everything is fine. After all this time, Tony should know that you’re not one to get fooled by a pretty lie like that. “What’s going on? You’re totally freaking out.”

“So glad to see you, Y/N,” Tony complains, “I look great? Thanks for telling me. You’re always so quick with the compliments.”

You give him a look. “I know how you’re feeling. What’s up with you?”

“It’s not me you should be questioning,” he sighs, “it’s the newcomer to our team.”

You frown. “I didn’t think we were getting someone new.”

“We weren’t supposed to, but Fury added another guy last minute. Apparently it was either that or have him rot down in a cell for all eternity, and we don’t want to risk pissing off his brother,” Tony clarifies.

“Who’s his brother?” You ask, curious.

“Thor,” Tony says, and then you understand at last.

“Loki is joining the team?” You can’t believe it. Loki attacked New York all of six months ago. Sure, Fury has always been one to maximize opportunity, but you can’t believe he’d let Loki into the ranks of the Avengers so quickly.

“That’s what I said,” Tony harrumphed, “but apparently it’s already done. He’ll be coming up later today to meet us all. You know, without trying to kill us this time.”

You chuckle under your breath. “I can’t wait to see how that goes. How long do you think we have until Steve breaks out a patriotic speech on our or his behalf?”

Tony snorts. “It’ll happen any minute now. Look, here Steve comes up the stairs now. It’s like he marches everywhere he goes. Unreal.”

True to Tony’s suspicions, Steve, upon learning of Loki’s arrival, does indeed treat all of you to a talk about looking past first impressions. If the red flickering around his eyes and fists says anything, though, it’s that he’s just as pleased about the whole affair as Tony.

You, for one, aren’t sure what to make of the whole thing. Something must have happened to make Fury trust Loki, and until you learn otherwise, that’s as good an endorsement as you’ll get around here. Before long, Thor is marching into the Avengers complex with a stranger in tow, and all of a sudden, you have eyes on your new teammate.

It’s strange, your first impression of Loki. Second, technically, but you’re not counting the Battle of New York. That was different, you were trying to kill each other. Now you’re supposed to count on him to save your life.

Tony shoots a quick glance your way, cocking one brow as if to ask, getting anything? The honest answer is no, not yet. Asgardians are always hard to read, you figured that out when you first met Thor. Everything about them is different, even down to how they feel certain emotions. Loki is no exception. At first, you think he feels nothing at all. Then, you realize he’s just very good at hiding it. His back is perfectly straight, spine stiff and unfeeling.

That is, until you look a little deeper and you start to see the threads of colors playing around his clothes, his hands, his blank stare. They’re green in color, green and gold like the stitching on his apparel. They’re not happy emotions, these, they’re–

They’re fear. Loki is afraid. Not that anyone here will kill him, not that sort of fear. He is certain that all of you will reject him, that this great god will have to watch humans laugh at him and just deal with it anyway.

You can understand feeling like that. When you were first recruited to the Avengers, you almost thought it was a joke. Surely an empath wouldn’t be useful in the heat of the battle. They had to convince you of that later, once you could start changing people’s emotions instead of just reading them. Still, you know what it’s like to doubt yourself, even when you’re sure that you are worth more than anyone can imagine.

So, you step forward first, and greet him with a smile. “I’m Y/N,” you say, “it’s good to see you.”

Loki arches a brow, and you don’t have to read minds to know that he’s thinking is it? as strongly as he can. This confusion only grows when you hold out a hand to him. For a moment, you think he’s going to reject you, but your smile stays insistent. He doesn’t have to like you at all, but goddamnit, you’re going to like him. He can deal with that on his own terms.

He must be able to pick up on this sort of stubbornness, and for some reason this is what wins him over at last. Loki extends his hand to shake yours, and just like that, the ice is broken. It’s as if a collectively held breath is released across the room.

That isn’t to say that the rest of the Avengers take to him so readily, nor that Loki is as willing to accept them as you. He tends to stick to himself, avoiding crowds unless he can’t avoid it. He begrudgingly tells you it’s because being around that many people either reminds him of Asgard or the battle or both.

He tells you a lot, actually. It doesn’t all happen at first. He may have shaken your hand, but he seems dead set on despising you. However, you’d made up your mind to win him over at that point, and you weren’t going to rest until you met your goal. It took a lot of slow, deliberate effort, but before long the conversations weren’t so one-sided and you swore he actually smiled when you entered the room.

Also, he stopped hiding his emotions as much. The first time you saw a hesitant wave of goldenrod brush across his shoulders, you thought you were hallucinating. It was there the next time you saw him, though, and the next, and the next, deepening to sunset orange and staying there. Happiness. He liked being near you.

Once trust was built, real friendship could follow suit. Turns out Loki was just as reluctant to join the Avengers as your lot was to welcome him in, but when Director Fury makes a decision, pretty much everyone has to follow suit. Thor had warned him against causing more trouble, so Loki was here to stay. He used to think that was a bad thing, but judging by the way his tone has softened as of late, he might not be so sure of that anymore.

Loki starts to tell you more, once he stops thinking of you as an outsider. He tells you about Thanos, about how he had twisted Loki’s mind so that he could only attack the city. You had suspected something was wrong with Loki during the Battle of New York– his eyes glowed a strange color, the emotions flickering around his chest were almost alien, so unusual even for a god– but hearing it is the confirmation you needed to be sure. Loki had not attacked you in his own mind. He had not tried to kill you, that was someone else forcing his hand.

That last part was especially crucial. The night he finally told you about Thanos’ control, Loki had not been able to leave until he was certain that you understood that it had not been him leading the attack on the Avengers and your home. At last, you convince him that it is alright, and only then can he rest easy.

The rest of the Avengers aren’t able to share in this peace, however. They don’t want to give Loki a chance, which, seeing as they’re not able to actually see his emotions, you can sort of understand, but at this point it’s growing tiresome. It’s been months now since Loki joined the team, and he has not lied to or betrayed or attempted to murder anyone. You want to yell at them to grow up, but you don’t feel like picking someone else’s fights.

Instead, you’d rather spend your time pondering another puzzle. Loki’s moods have shifted again towards you, but this time you cannot understand them at all. Something’s changed about the way he looks at you, how he speaks, and you have no clue what any of it means.

When you have trouble, though, there’s only one surefire solution:  you need to talk to Natasha Romanoff. Nat’s been your best friend since you joined the Avengers, actually. She gets you. You get her. It’s a good time all around.

So, Natasha doesn’t look too surprised when you all but throw yourself into one of the chairs in her favorite space in the complex one sunny morning. The only question on her mind isn’t to ask what’s up with you but what Loki’s done now.

You grimace. “I don’t know, that’s the worst part. He’s acting weirdly.”

“Isn’t that normal for Loki?” Nat questions. “I mean, he is a disgruntled younger brother/frost giant/Norse god. I feel like weird for him is kind of expected.”

“No,” you argue, “This is different. Something’s changed.”

Natasha furrows her brow. “And you haven’t been able to pick up on anything?”

“Well,” you hesitate, “maybe there’s something. I have no idea what it is, though. It’s happy, I think, but it’s sad at times, too, and flickery, like even he can’t explain it. I don’t know how to describe it in the slightest.”

She nods decisively. “It’s love.”

You blink in surprise. “What? No, I just said I had no idea what this is. There’s no way you would be able to guess it so quickly.”

Nat shrugs. “Actually, your vague description was exactly why I know what this is. Only love makes no sense like that. Love makes you happy, but it breaks your heart, right? It confuses the hell out of you because that’s what it’s supposed to do. There’s nothing else that could make anyone feel like a mess of emotion but love.”

You sigh. “That still leaves the fact that it’s Loki, though. You actually think he’s in love with me? I’m a human. I mean, inhuman, technically, but same difference to him. Why would a literal Asgardian god ever look at me like that?”

Natasha’s gaze is knowing, but you can’t quite meet her eyes. “I don’t know why he wouldn’t. You won him over faster than anyone was expecting. I think the biggest question isn’t what he’s feeling, but what you are.”

You brush her concern aside. “Well, of course I know how I feel. I’ve had this much time figuring out how other people’s emotions work, it’s like a user manual for what certain things feel like in your own head. I just can’t believe that he truly feels the same. Maybe he’s trying to trick me by pretending to feel a certain way, I wouldn’t put it past him.”

Nat scoffs. “I thought you were the president of the ‘Stop Loki Hate’ fan club. What’s gotten you doubting him again?”

You shoot her a look. “I’m not doubting him, just myself. Also, there’s no such fan club. Fury banned us from attending Avengers-based clubs, remember?”

She nods mournfully. “All it took was one bad experience. Look, all of us showing up to the ‘Personally Victimized by Nick Fury’ meeting was funny. He was just being a bad sport.”

You smile fondly. “I remember. I’ve never seen that much red in my life. He was totally outraged.”

“Oh, I know. You didn’t need empathy powers to tell that much. At least we abstained from putting on the fake eye patches.” Nat muses.

You bite back a laugh. “Yeah, that might have been overkill. Anyway, back to the point. Are we sure about this?”

“We’re sure,” Natasha assures you, “I’m sure you’ll get in your own head about it later, though.”

“You can count on it,” you grin, and say your goodbyes.

Natasha is right as usual, as it turns out. Both about your feelings and the fact that you would second guess yourself. You were going to say something to Loki, but you talked yourself out of it later that night. It just feels wrong, that’s all. There’s no way a literal prince of the gods would fall in love when you’re just, well, you.

You do your best to push it out of your head, Nat’s knowing glances be damned. Life is too busy to contemplate men who won’t speak their minds. It feels like a new crisis hits New York every week. Speaking of which, you’ve actually got complaints about that. Namely, the fact that you haven’t been on a mission in quite some time despite your status as an Avenger.

You get frustrated once a couple of months have gone by without you seeing a fight. You pull Steve aside when you hear about something going wrong again. “I saw Fury’s memo about needing an extraction team for a situation over in Spain. Can I sign up?”

Steve shakes his head. “Thanks for the offer, Y/N, but we’ve already got enough guys on that team.”

You frown at him. “You can never have too many guys on an extraction team. It’s, like, Avengers lore that stuff always goes wrong on those. I can at least tag along as backup just in case. I’ll grab my gear and be off in like five minutes.”

Steve doesn’t seem willing to back down, though. “Look, I’m glad you’re passionate about the team, but we’re good, honestly. If you’re getting bored, just join the next mission, I’m sure one will come up sooner than later.”

You sigh. “That’s what everyone said last mission, and the one before that, too. I haven’t been out of the complex on official business in three months. I’m an Avenger, Steve, let me act like one.”

Steve puts his hand on your shoulder, forcing you to look him in the eyes. “Y/N, I meant what I said about being glad you want to help, but this is serious. I’m a supersoldier, that’s why I’m out there all the time. Nat’s been trained for this sort of stuff since she was a kid. It makes sense to send us, right? You know we value your gifts, but we can’t risk hurting you.”

Your stomach twists. “You mean, I’m really best when I’m looking at people’s heads, not actually in a fight.”

Steve doesn’t seem to realize he’s upset you, and he nods emphatically. “Exactly! You’ve got a great skill set, just not for right now. I bet we’ll find something soon, though.”

You flash him a thumbs up, already walking back down the hallway so he can’t see the way your face twists. “Can’t wait.”

You let your composure drop the second you’re around the corner. Is this really how they feel? You were useful in the Battle of New York, you know that, and the other agents say you’ve been improving with your abilities by leaps and bounds. You’re handy with a gun or knife, too, so you know you could survive a fight and be of use. You’ve done it before, why are they so keen on stopping you now?

It makes you feel, well, useless. It’s hard to stop the tears from pricking at the corners of your eyes, and you quickly change course to head for your private quarters. You don’t want anyone to see you like this.

Of all the fantastic timing, though, the one person you want to run into least of all right now steps into the hallway just as you think that. Loki nods at you as usual, but he stops dead in his tracks when he sees you. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

You shake your head dismissively, trying to physically will yourself to look normal. “Nothing! I’m great. Everything’s good.”

He doesn’t seem convinced, though, and reaches out a careful hand towards you. “Are you sure? It doesn’t seem like everything is good.”

You let out a watery laugh, and that does it. “No, actually, things are terrible. Everyone on the team sees me as a joke.”

Loki frowns, clearly taken aback. “Well, that’s not true at all. I don’t see you as a joke in the slightest.”

“Everyone else, then,” you amend with a messy wave of your hand, “I’ve been trying to convince them to let me on a mission for months and they won’t do it. I know my gifts are damn near useless, but I just want to help.”

“That’s not true,” Loki repeats, “They’re a lot of good, actually, and you know that. You’re the best interrogator they have, even compared to Romanoff. You see through everyone’s lies in a heartbeat, even mine, and I’ve had plenty more time to practice them than most. You can sense a trap or ambush in half a second. They’re fools for not wanting you out there with them.”

You smile weakly at him. “You don’t have to say all of that. Thanks, though.”

“Of course I do,” Loki says blankly, “it’s true, and I need to.”

“Why?” You ask curiously.

Loki swallows hard, looks away, and then you see it again– that faint mist of pink, right over his heart. It’s just like Nat said, isn’t it? Just like that.

He forces his gaze back to you, and you’re shocked by the certainty in his eyes after all this time of ducking around your feelings. “It’s true because I love you, and I would not be able to stand it if you let the rest of them talk you into thinking otherwise. They’re toy soldiers, the lot of them, all the same. They couldn’t see real worth if it was standing right in front of them.”

You smile, and for once it’s not cracked or teary or anything, it’s real, as real as the pink ribbons tying the two of you together. “I love you too,” you say.

“Of course you do,” he replies, but he’s smiling too, and you think– no, you know– that everything is going to be alright.

marvel tag list: @mayfieldss, @rogueanschel, @mycosmicparadise, @ellobruv, @callsign-scully, @with-inked-solace, @sher-lokid7, @amortensie, @23victoria, @watchreadfangirlrepeat, @gods-fools-heroes, @w1shes43, @deafsuperhero, @fadedver

#loki #loki imagines #loki x reader #loki oneshot #loki odinson #loki odinson imagines #loki odinson x reader #loki odinson oneshot #loki laufeyson #loki laufeyson imagines #loki laufeyson x reader #loki laufeyson oneshot #marvel #marvel imagines #marvel x reader #marvel oneshot #avengers #avengers imagines #avengers x reader #avengers oneshot #mcu #mcu imagines #mcu x reader #mcu oneshot

[weeb-polls-with-pip]

Autistic Anime Boys Side B Round 1 Match 29

Propaganda:

Apollo -

"Not canonically autistic but he has ZERO volume control plus he scripts/repeats stuff (“I’M FINE!!!”), sometimes mimics other people’s speech patterns (like replying “ja” to Klavier), sensitive to loud noises (stayed backstage at a concert cuz it was too loud) and bright lights (complained about the stage lights being too bright at the same concert + screamed when opening the hatch to the bright stage at magic show), and has been really into space since he was a kid, which could definitely be a hyperfixation (not to mention how he read every single one of Phoenix’s old case files back when he admired him). Plus he’s a little TOO normal, to the point where it circles back around to making him the odd one out, which is absolutely what masking feels like for me. Even when he tries to be fun and weird he gets strange looks/made fun of for not being weird in the right way. The list of autism symptoms is just a checklist for him at this point."

Tobio -

"kageyama is this setter (it’s a volleyball anime. means he coordinates plays and helps ppl spike) who at the start of the series is really angry and extremely lonely. but then bc of hinata (mc) and the rest of the team, he learns more about how to interact with other people and how that’s how you can win. he does go way too far with this and ends up not advocating for what he thinks the team should do, but hinata reminds him that if he gets mean again they’ll just tell him that and that he can say what he thinks too. he’s autistic bc i said so. my evidence:

- he started playing volleyball literally as soon as he could (like. when he was five).

- he’s been ostracized multiple times for being too obsessed with volleyball and not having normal interests/level of interest, and for being ‘too good’ at volleyball.

- he has a lot of trouble with social cues and social skills. like a lot. when he has trouble communicating with people/understanding people, he often gets angry.'

#tumblr polls #autistic anime boys poll #ace attorney #apollo justice #haikyuu!! #haikyu!! #haikyuu #haikyu #hq #hq!! #tobio kageyama #kageyama tobio #hq kageyama #kageyama hq

[typenull]

While the climax of Dunmesh [here’s your warning for spoilers] gives us an extremely thorough look into Laios’s psyche and his own desires, we don’t actually know that much about Falin, despite her “death” kicking the entire story into motion. The only bits of Falin we get to see are through the lens of other characters, who inherently show us their own biased perceptions of her. I’d go as far to say that Falin is actually the character in Dungeon Meshi who’s true desires we know the least about!

We know with absolute certainty at least a few things: Falin is gifted with powerful magic, wants to follow behind and travel with her brother who she deeply respects, loves her friend Marcille, likes fruits and creams, loves insects and is curious about monsters, once again like Laios… most of the things we learn about Falin are things that she has in common with her brother, but what does SHE want, deep down? How does she feel about everything? I don’t think we’ll fully get an answer to that question before the manga is over. This is definitely on purpose though, and has even been hinted at in the text (which I’ll get to later).

In my opinion the main difference between Falin and Laios is that Falin doesn’t want to hurt anyone besides herself (for the sake of others, and she barely knows who that self is) and Laios wants to hurt anyone who he “doesn’t like” (anyone who endangers him and those he loves). Both of these feelings stem from the same shared events of their childhood where they both began to feel “disconnected” from humanity so to speak, but they reacted to it in opposite ways.

Where Laios stubbornly ran away and refused to deal with being hurt and surrounded by hurt, Falin, who we rarely see making choices based on any desires for herself (staying in the academy for 8 years after being sent by her father despite not thinking it’s for her, nearly agreeing to marry Shuro just so that she doesn’t have to deal with being asked later, etc.), doesn’t object to anything she’s subject to because the only person being “hurt” in these scenarios is herself, which to her is acceptable. She accepts the fact that she’s considered “othered” extremely easily, and this reflects openly in both her behavior and in the few things we know about her: she connects with and cares deeply for spirits despite being ostracized, admires insects and monsters like her brother, and is even fine planning to take on a job that’s revered in her hometown. To Falin, being “othered” is more normal to her than the alternative

The only people in Falin’s life that make her feel like *more* than just an outsider are Laios and Marcille. As a result Laios and Falin end up with similar sounding mindsets on the surface; "As long as [the people I love] are okay, I don't care about anything else" — but underneath, they actually manifest completely differently! Where Laios “doesn’t care about people”, Falin cares deeply about them despite barely being treated as one.

The only *active* decision from Falin we see that most obviously reflects her deepest desires is her choice to die for those she loves, which I think says a lot about her.

I think that if Laios is “a human who wants to become a monster” because he hates humans due to his past, the most obvious foil to him is Kabru, “a human who wants to destroy monsters” because of his past in Utaya (and feeling like a monster himself). Thinking of them as two ends of a spectrum, in the grey middle ground of this is where I think I’d put Falin.

She’s simultaneously a human made subhuman, a monster made to follow Thistle, a “ghost” of her former self haunting Laios and Marcille — she really IS the absolute epitome of a “chimera”.

The Lion cursing Laios was the “hinting in the text” I talked about earlier: forcing his deepest desire into something seemingly impossible to achieve, a chimera. The surface level conclusion when reading this is that Falin won’t be revived, but I seriously don’t think it’ll be that simple in the end. After all, a chimera is multifaceted.

My hope for the final chapter of Dungeon Meshi is that, *if* by some chance Falin is revived, she will finally have to grapple with not only having to look deep within herself to answer all of these things for her own sake, but also with having the one opportunity in which she chose to use any sort of agency to act upon her deepest desires not only be completely reversed, but also hurting so many people in the process. When Falin is revived in the Red Dragon arc, she doesn’t even remember sacrificing herself for her friends — but she promises Laios to never do it again, falling back into her typical submissive obedience. How would she react the second time? Will we even get to know? Something tells me, probably not.

#dungeon meshi spoilers #Oh big whoop the guy whos name is chimera is fascinated by the chimera #Anyway i wrote all of this to say reducing falin to ‘haunting the narrative’ is to reduce her to nothing. thanks #I wrote this like an article on my website so just pretend i’m well enough to be on my pc ok ? #I hope the last page of dungeon meshi is falin opening her eyes and then the story ends #dm #dungeon meshi #falin touden

[henbeaka]

BYLER and SUBSTITUTING

like this:

Because, I mean, without you, we'd all fall apart. Even me. Especially me. These past few months, I've been so lost without you. It's just, I'm so different from other people, and……when you're…when you're different, sometimes……I feel like a mistake. But you make me feel like I'm not a mistake at all.

which is the most OBVIOUS substitution in byler history because it is clear the audience is meant to pick up on it. it's not subtle. but-- mike does this too.

“It's not my fault I don't like girls. I'm not trying to be a jerk. Okay? But we're not kids anymore. I mean, what did I think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? We were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?”

the difference is mike is projecting onto will rather than a side speaker. and you might think this isn't supposed to be used as a substitution for himself. but will is not the odd one out here. dustin wanted to play games and he had a girlfriend. like, logically, its two v two because they knew dustin would also want to play dnd. (and i'm not assuming, they say it in the fight.)

another important line here: we're not kids anymore.

okay, michael wheeler, let's look at byler speeches from when you guys were kids.

Do you remember the first day that we met? It was... It was the first day of kindergarten. I knew nobody. I had no friends and... I just felt so alone and so scared, but... I saw you on the swings and you were alone, too. You were just swinging by yourself. And I just walked up to you and... I asked. I asked if you wanted to be my friend. And you said yes. You said yes. It was the best thing I've ever done.

nothing's in red. nothing's crossed out or changed. because mike said exactly what he meant here (hoorah!). back when they were kids when they could actually tell each other their emotions and feelings because it didn't have to masquerade a romantic love. that love was normal to them until it was ostracized through internalized and externalized homophobia.

and what is stranger things at its heart??

a sci-fi show with villains and superpowers and lore YES BUT BEYOND THAT AND INTO THE CHARACTER ARCS

it's a show about kids growing up (and also jopper).

so? so, the change in their substitution says a lot. it says how hard they are hiding their feelings from each other, how it increases as they get older. which leads us back to their true feelings, aka season 2 ish, where they were pretty openly in love, in my opinion. holding hands, comforting each other, making freaking love confessions as seen above.

and juxtapose that with season 4, with all its red and changes in meaning?? we as viewers should understand that nothing the boys say is what they mean. they are hiding!!!

aka byler endgame

#byler #stranger things #authors note #when mike says that its his fault he doesn't like girls #i dont mean that #i mean that thats what he thinks #that is the highest form of his truth or what he thinks is the truth

[writer-in-theory]

Me and You, & Your Uncle Wayne — part one.

Summary: Eddie tells his Uncle Wayne about him and Steve. Pairing: Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson Content Warnings: Period-Typical Homophobia Read on Ao3 Part Two || Part Three Masterlist

-

Wayne Munson was less than thrilled when he found out who his nephew was dating.

He knew he'd hate the conversation from the moment Eddie sat him down, the kid's leg bouncing so badly he was sure it might jackhammer completely through the floor of the trailer. Eddie and him didn't have serious conversations, not since Wayne's brother made his son cry the one and only time Wayne agreed to let him visit a few years before and they had to have a conversation about what little Eddie hoped his father would be like and what he actually was.

"I think I'm in love, and I think I'm gonna marry this person someday." It shouldn't have been a bad conversation. Wayne had been wishing for his nephew to find someone good, someone who could convince him that love was still out there for people like him, people who’d never quite been given a fair shake by the world.

But Eddie looked nervous, more nervous than the time Chief Hopper brought him home after dealing at one of that Harrington boy’s parties. He looked downright terrified, and Wayne hated the thought of him ever being the cause of that.

“It’s a guy, I’m…it’s a guy, Uncle Wayne.”

And suddenly Wayne understood the cause of Eddie’s fear. He wasn’t blind to how the town of Hawkins labeled his nephew, how they ostracized him for being different. He liked odd music, and wore even odder clothes compared to the other teens. He was loud, and non-conforming, and lived in the trailer park at the edge of town. He wasn’t a part of urban suburbia that everyone here demanded. This would only make it worse, if anyone found out. New waves of acceptance were beginning to spread through the cities but Hawkins was not San Francisco, it was not Chicago or New York; it was a small town in nowhere Indiana where God and Reagan reigned supreme.

He didn’t know how to tell his nephew everything would be okay because it probably wouldn’t, not until he escaped this town that never gave him a chance. It became all the more clear that while Wayne could get by with his head tucked down, Eddie couldn't survive in this town. He was so much bigger than it, and deserved the chance to get out of here the second he could. Wayne had never been the best with words, so all he could do was nod, slowly, and ask, “What’s his name?” he hoped, with everything in him, that Eddie would understand that acceptance.

“You’ll never believe it,” Eddie laughed, that bright smile Wayne loved finally coming back, “it’s Steve Harrington.”

Wayne was okay with eddie being gay, and maybe deep down he’d always known this about his nephew. But Steve Harrington? Wayne had gone to school with Robert, had experienced first-hand the cruelty that could come from a boy who was given everything and couldn’t be touched because of it. He had no doubt that the Harrington boy would be the same, especially after having heard from John at the movie theatre what had been spray-painted when the boy’s last partner upset him. Wayne could already picture it, could see the devastation that could be wrought on his son.

How long would it take until Harrington spray-painted that one word, that slur Wayne used to sling around in high school but now would never utter again, around town? How long before Eddie was quite literally run out of Hawkins because he’d gotten into a fight with Steve?

He took too long to answer. He could see it in Eddie’s face, the horror taking over his expression at Wayne’s hesitation. He saw the quiver in the boy’s normally steady hands. “Eddie,” Wayne started, but that only seemed to jolt him into action. Eddie jumped from his seat, hands in his hair as his eyes averted from Wayne.

“Nevermind, nevermind,” Eddie wrenched out, “Jesus Christ.”

There were no harsh words, no anger thrown at him. No hurt, just Eddie, not looking at him. And then Eddie was taking off out the front door before Wayne could even hope to gather his thoughts.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #wayne munson #stranger things

[hanzajesthanza]

“what does geralt get from that friendship…”

another post examining the weight of geralt and dandelion’s friendship… because i don’t think people recognize how painful and debilitating loneliness can become.

the witcher as a deconstruction of the genre takes fantasy tropes to their most logical ends—it asks us to consider what The Lone Swordsman feels, looks into the humanity in a Cold-Blooded Killer. and it turns out he’s not cold-blooded at all.

that despite some superhuman abilities, he laments and worries and curses himself, just like any other worker of any other profession. just as the farmer is scorched by the sun, the washerwoman’s back aches, and the scholar goes half-blind studying, a witcher deals with all of the pains and annoyances and dangers of his job in a mundanely human way.

but the farmer, the washerwoman, and the scholar have something the witcher does not have—they’ll always be seen as human and part of their society. at the end of the day after enduring all of their labor, they have their wife to caress, festivities to attend, and taverns to frequent. but for a witcher? after the killing is over, what does he have? no one and nothing. not even a thank you. he is met with fear and hatred everywhere he goes, baseless bigotry and dislike.

I did my job. I quickly learned how. I’d ride up to village enclosures or town pickets and wait. If they spat, cursed and threw stones, I rode away. If someone came out to give me a commission, I’d carry it out.

so he faces not just loneliness, but being deliberately ostracized and cast out from society. geralt can’t even find a polite word in most settlements, much less a friend.

‘(…) Tell me, where should I go? And for what? At least here some people have gathered with whom I have something to talk about. People who don’t break off their conversations when I approach. People who, though they may not like me, say it to my face, and don’t throw stones from behind a fence. (…)’

this kind of loneliness is not a mere inconvenience. it’s completely altering to your self-perception and ability to see the positive in the world.

each day is not lived, but endured.

day in, and day out—forced to the most difficult and lowest labor in order to survive, and knowing that were you to die, no one would search for your body, few would miss you, hell, they might even spit “good riddance”.

in this situation, to find a friend, is not only friendship, but a rescue.

without dandelion, geralt may have drowned—drowned in solitude, amidst a sea of strangeness.

‘(…) And I’m alone, completely alone, endlessly alone among the strange and hostile elements. Solitude amid a sea of strangeness. Don’t you dream of that?’

No, I don’t, he thought. I have it every day.

because dandelion is not only a bright soul, characteristic rippling laughter and the strum of a lute, but someone who will intently listen to geralt, someone who mutually enjoys his company.

‘(…) you almost jumped out of your pants with joy to have a companion. Until then, you only had your horse for company.’

someone who doesn’t see him as strange and at the fringes of society at all, but as an utterly normal man.

and doesn’t impose demeaning, sappy sympathy onto him, but sobering and realistic “quit your bullshit” which ridicules the very thought that he should internalize societal hatred.

Do you know what your problem is, Geralt? You think you’re different. (…) [You don’t understand that] for people who think clear-headedly you’re the most normal man under the sun, and they all wish that everybody was so normal. What of it that you have quicker reflexes than most and vertical pupils in sunlight? That you can see in the dark like a cat? That you know a few spells? Big deal.

dandelion isn’t “willing” to accept geralt for himself—he already has accepted him. and to him, it’s no difficulty, it’s nothing worth discussing, because he sees no abnormality and no strangeness in him.

while others “prefer the company of lepers to witchers,” dandelion has already offered geralt to share his room and board. not out of sympathetic pity, not out of fetishizing curiosity. because… they’re friends.

and what else does this friendship save him from?

not only from others, but from himself.

worse than enduring others’ apathy and hatred is one’s own thoughts—the darkness and negativity which builds from witnessing and experiencing such behavior.

dandelion’s ability to counter and dispel geralt’s pessimism and self-flagellating tendencies—again, not out of pity, but out of friendship—is undeniably invaluable. someone to rescue you from your darkest thoughts, when you begin to spiral.

and in this darkness, all you can do is cry. you cry, beg for someone to help you, please—

Help! Why doesn't anyone help me? Alone, weak, helpless – I can't move, can't force a sound from my constricted throat. Why does no one come to help me? I'm terrified!

to be alone, the saga reminds us, is worse than a death sentence. to be alone is to “perish; stabbed, beaten or kicked to death, defiled, like a toy passed from hand to hand.” to be alone is to suffer, and to be with someone is to save them from that suffering.

'(…) I wouldn't like anything bad to happen to you. I like you too much, owe you too much-'

'You've said that already. What do you owe me, Yennefer?'

The sorceress turned her head away, did not say anything for a while.

'You travelled with him,' she said finally. 'Thanks to you he was not alone. You were a friend to him. You were with him.'

it is true that geralt has saved dandelion countless times, helped him, gotten him out of some scrape… but to ask what did geralt get in return? are you kidding me?

did you ever consider that it is dandelion who saved geralt?

by being with him. by being by his side. by being his friend.

indeed, dandelion has rescued geralt, countless times, from the yawning jaws of endless loneliness. he’s helped him, chased away the danger of geralt’s own rumination. and he’s gotten him out of scrapes, his own insecurities and bitter helplessness.

so what does dandelion give geralt? what does geralt get from their friendship?

an amusing question. what one gets from friendship is the friendship itself. and that is more than enough.

#the witcher books #gerlion #geralt of rivia #dandelion #jaskier #the parallels with ciri’s story makes me so emotional like… #ciri is just geralt but younger and alone. and thus she suffers so immensely #i included ciri’s nightmare because i think that’s how it feels to be alone #you just cry out ‘help! why won’t someone help me?’ and no one answers #and the funny bit is that everyone is like ‘ugh you cannot get RID of dandelion’ like #i think that’s the most comforting and relieving thing about him. he will never leave and abandon geralt. #there is nothing geralt *would* or *could* do to ever push him away #the kind of friendship where you never worry about being too ‘weird’ for them because they straight up dont care if youre weird #honestly idk how more people dont see them like this because i feel like loneliness is so pervasive right now #does everyone else just have this kind of best friend and for that reason take dandelion’s presence for granted #s: i want to be by your side #c: geralt #c: dandelion #excerpt #analysis #like. this is how it is: #the entire world: ‘you’re nothing you’re worthless and you’re inhuman’ #dandelion is NOT like ‘omgggg of course you are something 🥺🥺 pwease don’t think badly like that’ #no. he’s like ‘the hell? that’s the stupidest thing ive ever heard. why the hell are you even listening to that’ #dandelion has a kind of masculine energy that the fandom does not like lmao

[skrunksthatwunk]

every time i remember hiei and yusuke's little ritual of sparring whenever they see each other for the first time in a while (usually as they're about to face a big threat) and how hiei just wordlessly attacks him and yusuke takes it with good humor (for the most part) i lose my fucking mind and i need someone else to understand so so bad

hiei opening with unexplained violence, acting like the murderous demon everyone takes him to be, and yusuke seeing through it as just how hiei is, and meeting him where he is in this non-malicious but combative intricate ritual bs. they met through violence and communicate through it but it's out of an admiration for skill, for what can't be said with words, for their reliance on each other as equals, as teammates. they share a past of ostracization, resentment, and a desire to burn the world down for its treatment of them the others don't. hiei feels seen in and understood by yusuke. i don't think it needs to be said that hiei doesn't have many people he considers equals, or peers, or teammates. and yusuke was the first to trust him. to see him as more than a monster. to have blind, unearned faith that he could do good, and that he could be better. yusuke changed him. his trust and friendship changed him. and so for that ritual to rely on that trust—the thought that hiei wouldn't actually turn on him, wasn't trying to betray him or hurt him or get his revenge like he used to claim—makes those scenes so poignant (read: makes me want to howl into the night air). it's about the dance. it's about what they know they have in common beneath the posturing and machismo, the ways they are alike deep, deep down, and the way they both know that and never speak of it.

i also think it's because hiei's afraid of losing him. it's especially obvious in chapter black, but even in DT he's got to make sure yusuke—a dumbass who only got his powers recently—is up to scratch. no matter how he feels about humanity, he doesn't particularly want to see yusuke lose everything he loves either. but mostly he couldn't stand to watch yusuke fall. and because he knows yusuke's in over his head, he's testing whether he has to distance himself and prepare for yusuke to abandon him (via death) like everyone else. he doesn't do this with kuwabara because (at least in the DT's case) he'd been training him. he knows, for the most part, what kuwabara can do. (he also doesn't have that same closeness, both because kuwabara doesn't trust him and, perhaps, because he's doing the distance thing pre-emptively bc he thinks he's weak, unlike yusuke). and he doesn't do this with kurama because he believes wholeheartedly in his skill, centuries of experience, and demonhood. humans are fragile, and hiei needs to reassure himself that yusuke isn't.

hiei claims he wants revenge and postures like a rival, but he never goes all out and he never tries this seriously. he fools around with yusuke because if yusuke lost and hiei proved his superiority, hiei would have to leave him behind. and as much as he wants to prove his strength, as hungry as he is for validation (centering fighting prowess because violent is all he's ever been allowed to be), he can't stand the thought of that. he feels that he is yusuke's equal and peer (and friend), whether they're equally strong or not, but because a part of him still thinks fighting's all that matters (and because he wants to protect him and thus himself), hiei must make himself believe that yusuke is as strong as him. so he checks in on him for reassurance via sparring, but never actually tries to hurt him. in conclusion, i am so normal

#i have so much love in my heart for kuwameshi and i respect kurahi but let it be known that before it all i was a yusuhi enjoyer #mostly because i was a hiei enjoyer and his relationship with yusuke is the most powerful to me. idk i love it when love changes people #BUT that said this all applies platonically as well. they care about each other so much guys #yyh #yu yu hakusho #hiei #yusuke urameshi #didnt proofread this sorry if it's a mess but im a mess ok #yeahh you guys all thought i forgot about yyh didntcha. joke's on you because that's my wife. my wife the television series yu yu hakusho #it always comes back to yunk yunk babeyyy

[emberwritesinsight]

The way the over-the-top imagination sequences in Nanami’s Egg reveal how terrified Nanami is of being seen as subhuman retroactively makes the sequence in The Cowbell Of Happiness where Touga treats her like an animal to be slaughtered (as a metaphor for the way he’s grooming her into his own Anthy) even more horrifying.

Or, possibly, Nanami’s oddly specific “being treated like an animal” fears in Nanami’s Egg are because that dream planted in her mind the idea that somebody she loves very much sees her as more of a pet than a person.

Nanami’s fear of being abnormal probably comes from several places, not the least of which being that she’s obviously been demeaned for her oddities before (consider the adults’ disapproval when she shows up to Touga’s party with a stray kitten). But one of the most unsettling reasons is that she’s convinced that her abnormality will give people free reign to consider her subhuman. 

Nanami wants to be loved, that much is obvious. But she also wants to be respected. Being loved like a pet or a toy isn’t enough for her. Above all else, she fears hatred, ostracization, and dehumanization. And that’s why she wants so badly to distance herself from Anthy.

Anthy is a Nanami given much more time to stew in her suffering. She’s escalated beyond just being dehumanized by others, and has started doing it to herself. She’s not an animal, though. That would imply some kind of life or desire or survival instinct, despite lack of sentience. Instead, she is a self-described “doll with no heart”.

It’s all a lie, of course, no matter how much she or anyone else believes it. Anthy is a person. She has desires and fears like anyone else. She can feel pain, even if she’s been steeped in it for so long that it’s become normal for her. She can feel joy, even if she rarely has reasons to. Anthy’s performance in the role of the Rose Bride requires her to cultivate a doll-like image, but she can’t cut herself off from her personhood completely. But still, she’s been so thoroughly stripped of her right to Be A Person that she’s stopped thinking of herself as one.

This was what Touga, and Akio, and the system of Ohtori itself had planned for Nanami. A cow to the slaughter, a doll in the making. And she obviously has a vague understanding that she’s in danger, even if it’s subconcious. But when she finds Anthy sprawled on that couch in the planetarium in the middle of the night, she finally, conciously, gets it. She finally knows why she was so afraid of being dehumanized. She finally sees the sword that she was sensing as it hung above her head. She sees where the road she’s on leads, and that’s all it takes for her to immediately do her level best to sprint in the other direction.

#revolutionary girl utena #nanami kiryuu

[bleachbleachbleach]

[Bleach 072]

This scene is important to me for the express reason that Hitsugaya was apparently the one to tell Jidanbou about these rules. Because they are friends! We know this not from any in-story interactions but from one line in Hitsugaya's Souls profile:

[Souls 133]

I'll be honest with you, I've never actually read Souls and have never thought about where it ties to canon temporally, but the answer to that is apparently sometime before Hitsugaya confronts Ichimaru.

This amuses me because at this point we know all of five things about this guy, and one of the five is that he's friends with Jidanbou. We don't even know the name of his Zanpakutou (that's the "?" in his stats profile box), but we know he's FRIENDS WITH JIDANBOU.

I don't have the English version of this page, apologies, but basically it's just like, Hitsugaya is a shinigami who comes from Rukongai, he's the youngest Captain in history, and he's currently investigating the Rukia business and trying to bring Ichimaru's shit to light. By the way, he's friends with Jidanbou and taught him the "Rules of the City." (Then the bottom sidebar is about how Hitsugaya treats Hinamori like blood, and wants to protect her.)

Which honestly makes this Jidanbou connection even funnier because Hinamori, the reason Hitsugaya is even in this story and the only reason we know this much about him (through Hinamori's Academy flashback), gets a neat sidebar, but the line about Jidanbou is just thrown in at the end of the main narrative like, beeeeee-tee-dubs!!

I've always wanted to write fanfic about this, but I haven't yet come up with a premise that was actually interesting to me. I assume they get paired up in this way for the size kink, though internal to the narrative that only gets us so far. After that it's like, okay, they're both associated with West Rukongai, so there's that. They're probably both socially ostracized: According to himself, people in Junrinan find Hitsugaya off-putting because of his white hair and his, well, off-putting demeanor; people probably make fun of Jidanbou because he's enormous and speaks with a lisp (though this doesn't carry into the Viz)/doesn't come across as normatively cognitively developed. But I'm kinda like, okay, sure, whatever. The most interesting part about that for me is still that Hitsugaya has a casual friend at all, because what few relationships we do see are extremely not casual. But also BTW Jidanbou!

I still think my favorite version of this relationship is the one where, while Hinamori's been off at school, Hitsugaya casually mentions to her that he's friends with Jidanbou the Gate Guardian, with absolutely zero explanation, as a child might about a brand new ride-or-die friend, as though this were completely normal and natural for him, and that's all that's ever said about it. Hitsugaya is definitely someone who has a mental white paper for anything he's ever done, which is why I find the contrast/discrepancy so appealing.

If my life depended on writing Hitsugaya Jidanbou friendship, though, I'd probably start with the City Rules. Because:

Jidanbou has been guarding this gate for 300 years. We don't know how long Hitsugaya has been living in Junrinan, but we do know he would not have had first-hand experience with any City Rules more than ~35 years ago. Not that you need to go to the city to know the rules, but I think canon Hitsugaya establishes pretty well that he doesn't talk about things he's not interested in or things that he doesn't have personal verified knowledge of. So for the first 265 years, no one bothered telling Jidanbou very much about this place he was guarding (not even his brother). He's a utility, and one that lives outside the gates (FUGAIKUUUU)--also one that's not perceived as smart enough for that information to be meaningful. But that whole vibe is not really Hitsugaya's style, because he loves an infodump--but also because he has a bone to pick with the notion of instrumentality.

If we're making a point of saying that Hitsugaya taught Jidanbou the "Rules of the City" (in quotation marks), we're introducing an interlocutor's specific POV. I'm not saying Hitsugaya's just making shit up for the hell of it, but how important these rules are, why these would be the top 3, what their original contexts were vs. being pulled out like this, and what's a literal municipal code vs. a social more vs. just something Hitsugaya has personal commentary about, are up in the air. What I'm saying is, I feel like these have "a gigai is for eating beans" energy.

At minimum, I enjoy this because this is all information that is completely incidental not only to the main storyline but ALSO to the Detective Hitsugaya B-side. But I love that Bleach is consistently so, so interesting about all these characters and their POVs and the rules that do or don't exist in the world, particularly at these early junctures, where most of what we've heard about Soul Society is from Rukia, and a lot of it we've already seen contradicted; and we'll continue to as the arc unfolds. Who even NEEDS Kyouka Suigetsu??

#this post has blorbo disease #ikkanzaka jidanbou #hitsugaya toushirou #bleach headcanons #bleach manga #bleach カラー #no brain just bleach

[ghouljams]

Fea!Leibling was just delicious. You gotta love feral Girlfriends and women who can and will kill you. You mentioned that you have thoughts on Seer!König can you share them please parental figure?

I would LOVE to share them anon thank you!

So in the Reverse Fae!AU I think all the boys are military, we're looking at a canon adjacent au similar to the demon au, but the fae darlings would be trying to pull their man outta the military(and into their loving arms) instead of really wanting to help them fight. I just know this is gonna get away from me so I'm popping a read more on here.

In this context I see Seers as absolutely invaluable military assets. As I've said previously in the world of this au most people don't know about monsters, they have different habits that are indicative of them but that doesn't mean people believe it. Think of saying "bless you" when someone sneezes, I don't really believe the devil enters people's bodies when they sneeze but I say it anyone to be polite. The military though, they absolutely know about monsters. The fae and all their supernatural cousins would be nicely positioned as both threats and assets, which means having someone in the room that can easily identify them is HUGE.

So Seer!König is the military's favorite special boy. It's important for seers to be the biggest threat in a room because you never know if a creature is going to be friendly to them or not. (Which is also why Fae!König is so protective of Liebling, she's not the biggest threat so he has to be) König would've grown up ostracized for his sight, but in the military he's heavily rewarded for it. It's his most powerful weapon in combat, and he would be neatly positioned in knowing the best ways to kill any monster he came across. A military seer is basically a monster hunter, and truly I cannot think of anything more terrifying for an unfriendly fae than coming face to face with König who stares right through them and tells his men "Iron on this one, then salt the wounds." I would piss myself.

I imagine König is very used to being given a wide berth by the various creatures of the world, all of them scared of what he can see and what he might know, so it's rather novel for him to wake up and have thorns stuck in his skin. Looking in the bathroom mirror as he cleans the little puncture wounds with a cotton ball and prodding at the scratches down his chest with careful fingers. The absolute awe that lodges behind his ribs, that something A. got into his house unnoticed(he likely has some military grade wards up, aside from normal security), and B. clawed him up without hurting him enough to wake him up. Whatever was in bed with him definitely wasn't trying to kill him(great) but also what the hell???

This is where also I think König is a closet masochist. I cannot explain this, he's so dominant in my head but the two aren't mutually exclusive. It's one of those things where, I think König likes pain so much, that he sort of assumes everyone else does too? He gets written off as a sadist by his submissives, but no he just is a masochist with military socialization. So waking up with new obviously affectionate wounds? Oh boy, he is riding that high all day. His skin is throbbing from his mystery creature's nails, he's got bandages on his arms. He wakes up with a good hard bite on his collar, the bruise laced with red and purple, and he is THRILLED. He wants more, he wants harder, he wants to know who the fuck is biting him so he can bite them back.

The thorns are a dead giveaway that whatever it is has to be floral, which points to fae in these parts. He has a nice garden out back, a little overgrown since he's likely a recent move to the city and to the UK specifically, so he figures he'll poke around and see what's back there. This has been going on for weeks and his fae is just getting more needy, he's waking up with his palms tingling, the scratches are getting deeper, the bruises darker. Thorns are waiting on his pillow and between his sheets, he's starting to get a little frustrated that he hasn't seen this mystery fae yet. He half hopes that if he spends time out in the garden maybe they'll come out and say hello, but even when he clears away the dead plants he can't find the thorns.

König enjoys working in the garden though, he likes seeing everything get cleaned up, likes a tidy space. It isn't until he gets through most of the garden that he actually notices the thorns that have overtaken the back wall. Thick and overgrown, out of season but with little white-ish flowers still dotting the dark green leaves, and he can see the soft inquisitive eyes that stare at him from between the gnarled thorns. He's half in love already, but actually seeing his faerie watching him is the nail in the coffin. Then when she Bites him? Draws blood, makes him worry for a second she might tear his throat out? GOD he's going to marry this fae.

He tests the thorns with his finger, recognizes their bite, and that's it. When he reaches in and feels Liebling take his hand, that's all he needs. He was going to pull her out anyway, but it's nice of her to come willingly.

(I wish I could do another read more here where I talk about how I don't think flora fae like fae!Liebling, the ones that live in their little plants and don't interact with people, wear clothes. They don't see people, and people generally don't see them so they don't see the need for them. Maybe some strategic petals or long hair but fabric just gets caught on the thorns. So Seer!König pulls this fully naked and gorgeous specimen from the thorns, and then she bites him real fuckin' hard and he can't not fuck her. I mean she's hitting all the right buttons.)

Anyway, Seer!König military asset and closet masochist shows up on base with a fae!Liebling hanging onto his back and can't really explain it to the higher ups but also who's going to tell him no? He's the colonel and they need him more than he needs them. Except again fae!Liebling has no interest in fighting, just in König. So I imagine he doesn't get a choice in renewing his contract, she forces him to retire(which is fine he was getting no work done with her around)

#ghoul speaks #cod x oc #x oc #König #König x f!oc #f!oc #könig fanfiction #könig call of duty #könig cod #könig mw2 #fae!König #oc: liebling #1fae1 #konig mw2 #konig cod #yeah :) I like seer!König a lot a lot a lot #I love a man who is absolutely trying/hoping/wishing his girl will hit him #catch him sat in front of fae!liebling just begging for her to bite him #plus he can't break her so he can kinda do whatever he wants