#which yeah is in significant part because I'm old enough to just know that nothing that bad can possibly happen

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Ok so here's the fairy tale meta thing based off a lie that I was talking about.

In Dead Apple, there's a flashback scene at Bar Lupin where Dazai explains the concept of apple suicide to Oda, while a track called "Dear Prince" plays in the background. There's a brief mix-up where Oda confuses the story of Snow White for Cinderella - but when I first came up with this, I misremembered what he said (I mixed up... his mix-up...) and thought the line was about Sleeping Beauty.

And I'm so unreasonably annoyed by this because that would've made so much more contextual sense. Why? Because they both involve an awakening. Moreover, there's a few interesting details in the environment of the older tales (I will not be using the Disney versions as the Dead Apple motifs actually connect better with the originals and also because I have never actually seen them... embarrassingly enough) that translate quite nicely to aspects of Dazai's life and bonds.

Specifically, there are some loose parallels to be found with Odasaku and the story of Sleeping Beauty, and Chuuya and the story of Snow White. (Note that this is not intended to be shipping fuel or anything; interpret it however you like, I'm just drawing connections.)

And yeah, I know this is an entire half-baked meta formed around a line that doesn't even exist but please just give it a chance or at least humour me please please please please please

Alright let's get the Cinderella thing out of the way first since I want to at least address it.

Cinderella has its origins in the old Greek story of Rhodopis, which sets up the main aspects of the story we know now: a servant girl from a poor background ascends to royalty through marrying a prince, who searches for her after finding her missing shoe. This doesn't really bear any resemblance to the rest of the movie or any other ongoing themes... unless you want to suggest that maybe Dazai's jumping from one side to the other was something akin to a "shoe-test"; that he was looking for a perfect fit. I think that's quite a stretch though and it's likely this really was just a throwaway line meant to show us Oda's occasional uh... airheadedness. If anyone has any further thoughts on this, I'd love to hear them.

It's a shame, really, because the slip up could've been given more significance and also because as an analyst of sorts it is my sworn duty to pull meaning out of absolutely nothing so I guess I took another step further here and made up my own line to analyze in stupidly excessive detail.

The entire point of this was meant to show how both the stories of Sleeping Beauty and Snow White have a theme of awakening, and so do Dazai's bonds with both Odasaku and Chuuya - they both have a function of "waking him up" in a sense. However, the means of doing so manifest very differently.

So, let's talk about Sleeping Beauty.

Sleeping Beauty has its origins in an old Italian story called Sun, Moon and Talia, which has many of the elements we know today but was uh. A lot darker. And way more non-consensual. The version the more modern story takes its roots from is Perrault's version. Here are the important bits to this analysis: the princess pricks her finger on a spindle out of curiosity, the good fairy puts everyone in the castle to sleep along with her for 100 years so that she will not be alone when she wakes, the prince does not wake her with a kiss but instead she wakes just by his presence and they sit and talk for a long, long time.

So, on to my delusional parallels. Part one: the princess pricks her finger out of curiosity. See, for Dead Apple, we have to rethink this a bit because Dazai brings up the concept of apple suicide, not murder. Of course, this is a parallel to himself and his disregard for his own life, so here we can take it that he did not "prick his finger" out of mere curiosity, but also, likely out of a desire to "sleep".

It's hard for me not to draw a connection between the curiosity aspect of the finger prick and Dazai's curiosity to join the mafia, especially with the next part - where everyone falls asleep as well for the time the princess is asleep. Essentially, no one will age or die. For as long as the princess remains unconscious, the world will not change. And if the princess perhaps, wanted this, then we can infer what is likely a fear of being left. Maybe even a fear of living. Dazai joined the mafia because he was curious if it would have what he sought. Instead, he spent his days trapped in an "oxidizing dream" as he detached further and further both from his humanity and from others. The mafia is already a place where people don't talk to each other openly and we know Dazai was even more unknowable than that - if he doesn't care about himself or others, the dream goes on. He stays asleep, and if he doesn't care, then he doesn't lose anyone - no one truly "dies".

As for the last part, there isn't much to say. Dazai warms up to Odasaku because the man just talks to him. And likes talking to him. And doesn't tell him to stop when he's being really freaking weird. But notably, Odasaku doesn't do much at first to help Dazai "awaken". It's only when he's about to die in his fight against Gide that he realizes he regrets not saying something sooner. Odasaku only has one chance to wake Dazai before he dies and he does it by shattering that dream that he will find what he's looking for. Paradoxically, that hope Dazai held onto was what trapped him in that singular mindset. Oda dies shortly after and the illusion is broken. Dazai wakes up, his world kickstarts where it had previously been stagnant and Dazai greets the sun and tries to live.

See why I'm slightly annoyed this wasn't the line now?

But hey, while we're at it, let's also talk about Snow White because the Dead Apple movie was actually a lot more firm with its connections than I think people realize.

Firstly, I would love people to know that in the original Grimms' fairy tale, Snow White doesn't clean the dwarves' house but in fact burgles it, eating their food, drinking their wine and falling asleep in one of their beds after testing each one, and generally leaving the house in complete disarray. Yeah. Not related to my point at all, but this sounds an awful lot like something Dazai would do (but more out of mischief than naivete of course).

Here's the important part though: Did you know that the Queen attempted to have Snow White killed not just once, but three times? The first two times, the dwarves were the ones to save her and quite quickly - they made a deal after she broke into their house that she would fix it up for them and maintain it in exchange for her staying with them in safety. It's an agreement of sorts, but as they became fond of her, they try and save her life in earnest. The poisoned apple is actually the third attempt to kill her, where the Queen bites into the white, non-poisoned part of the apple and Snow White, thinking it safe, eats the red half and falls asleep.

Hey. Remember the colour of the pill Dazai took in Dead Apple?

Yeah, someone on that team knows the original fairy tale.

Interestingly (and this is where I got really excited), there are three different attempts to kill Snow White (or, if Dazai is to be believed, three different attempts at her own self-destruction) - and there are three different instances where Chuuya "wakes" Dazai, twice while they're partnered (when they have an "agreement", terms in a sense as partners), and once in Dead Apple.

The first is in Fifteen, the infamous scene where Dazai shoots the body and Chuuya snaps him out of it by wrenching the gun out of his hands. I'm honestly a bit too tired to go super into that scene right now but I'm doing a little bit on it later - all that needs to be acknowledged here is that Dazai was out of it and Chuuya forced him back to earth. The second occurs during the Dragon's Head Conflict when Dazai is completely insensitive to the death of a mafia executive and Chuuya decks him for it. The now-infamous line "no one would believe that" is often misinterpreted I think. Chuuya says this in response to Dazai's "I'm human, too, you know." He's not saying "you're not human", he's saying "you are human but no one would believe that with the kind of shit you're saying and doing". It's the same kind of sentiment in the first scene where Chuuya intervenes, I believe. And it is a form of waking, in that Chuuya snaps Dazai out of his more inhumane moments - he basically calls him out and forces him to reevaluate; the epitome of a rude awakening.

Now for the Dead Apple scene proper.

Firstly, let's establish something. They are no longer partners in the mafia. They are even on separate sides. The framing of this changes Chuuya's actions from working with Dazai with occasional call-outs to bring him back to earth, to saving him in what is quite literally a rescue.

In the original myth, again, there is no waking kiss. Instead, in this third time, everyone assumes Snow White is really dead, that she will not be coming back. The prince, who happens across her, insists she at least receive a proper burial. But when carrying her coffin, one of them trips and they stumble, which jostles the princess enough that the piece of apple stuck in her throat is dislodged and she coughs it up, reviving. Uh...

Yeah.

Anyways this got kind of messy at the end and idk if it even made sense this is really just unhinged rambling so...

Tldr, Odasaku and Chuuya both help "wake" Dazai even if their methods and personalities are very different, which is part of the reason why both bonds are very important. Neither are particularly gentle with him, but waking, especially if all you want to do is sleep, is not a gentle thing.

#this is barely a meta but if i didn't write this up i felt like i was going to go insane #not my best work by far but i hope it's at least enjoyable #bsd #bsd dead apple #bsd meta #bsd dazai #bsd odasaku #bsd chuuya #do i tag with the ship names? sure ig #odazai #soukoku #skk #storyrambles #<-last tag is appropriate story has rambled for too long on this. a meta based on a line that doesn't even exist

[atopfourthwall]

Final modern Trek question then I’ll be good: What’re your honest thoughts and feelings on Strange New Worlds Season 1? Pros and cons, how it differs from Discovery and what it does either better or worse? The direction and writing, and if you feel it’s a step in the right path for current Trek shows? I watched it and I personally loved it, but I’m so curious to know what you think.

It is MOSTLY good. Its biggest strength is standalone episodes but compelling character arcs, which was the right call to make. We don't need a mysterious space hole or whatever to keep us invested week after week - just have a story with a beginning, middle, and end - do Star Trek stuff like meet new, weird, alien races and find interesting solutions to problems. The characters can change and advance and we can learn new things about them that influence how we next see them. The characters are just generally likeable and PROFESSIONAL. Professional is really the watchword I should keep bringing up - one of the reasons why I'm so uninterested in watching Lower Decks is because I continually see in gifs a bunch of BOZOS. Morons in command, morons doing the gruntwork. Oh, sure, I don't doubt they do their jobs and live and etc., etc., but nothing about them screams "These are people I would want to trust with exploring the galaxy." I see fanboys and people who shouldn't be anywhere near a phaser, much less the big chair. One of the episodes that many wouldn't put on their highest-ranking list of episodes for season 1 of Strange New Worlds is "Ghosts of Illyria." But it's entirely my jam - the stuff I want out of Star Trek. An interesting sci-fi mystery, character revelations, professionals doing their best to solve the problem, raising some interesting moral questions that will have to be revisited down the road, etc. For many it's just kind of "meh," but for me it made me want to watch more of it again after a long absence after watching the first two episodes. I want to see smart people being smart and solving problems. That's reductive, I know, but it's what gets me every time when watching. Now, as for the cons... well, ironically with that word the big problem is CONTINUITY. There are NUMEROUS continuity issues with this series, not the least of which being T'Pring - Spock's fiancé. There is no reason she should be such a significant part of the show. Everything that we saw in Amok Time seemed to suggest they were not close, had not seen each other in a long time, and the attitude T'Pring had in that is at odds with how she's portrayed as so loyal and dedicated to Spock in SNW. And given her reasons for breaking off her engagement in Amok Time, unless they REALLY openly contradict it with, I don't know, some kind of big betrayal or emotional fallout with Spock, I have a hard time believing that she'd break it off with him there. Don't get me wrong - the bodyswap episode was still good, but the problem again comes down to "I do not see a reasonable way for these two to no longer be together for Amok Time." The show focuses too much on old characters and not enough on new ones. I've already seen Spock's character development in TOS and the movies. I don't need MORE of it here, especially whenever they bring up Discovery. I don't need to see Pike's dilemma about his future - I know what's going to happen there. Uhura is a fine character... but I've seen her already. Give me more of everybody else - journeys for them, arcs for them, change for them. Killing Hemmer was dumb. Killing him while turning the Gorn into xenomorphs was dumber. Having the Gorn at all is dumb given we were pretty sure their first contact with the Federation was Arena in TOS. You could have invented a new baddie and gotten the same effect. Hell, it would have been better since one of the points of Arena is that we judged the Gorn as being aggressive, evil, and monstrous partially because of their appearance... but here comes SNW to be like "Oh, yeah, they are the absolute friggin' WORST. Unimaginably monstrous and horrible." Stop making all the uniform variants try to match with Discovery's stupid uniforms.

[gunsli-01]

So like maybe we should ask Shidou and Mahiru, if they want to make their own family.

Do you agree?

Also I'm quite scared of Shidou he might use Mahiru's life to manipulate Es😬

Oh and one thing I like your theories they slay💅

Ah, thank you! I'm glad you like the theories I tend to assume I'm being annoying so it's good to hear!

I think it would be a good question to ask them. Though the best way of phrasing it to get the most information would probably be to ask, "What is your family's opinion when it comes to marriage/relationships?".

Shidou says during his first trial interrogation questions that the most important thing to him is "Family" and Mahiru states that her family gives her a monthly allowance. So, phrasing it this way would make it a bit more difficult to navigate around.

It would shed some more light on their circumstances. Especially in Mahiru's case. She states she's interested in love but the tone Es uses when covering "This Is How To Be In Love With You" and her being shown to be within a birdcage in her own mind makes this appear to be a facade of sorts.

It at least gives the impression that Mahiru may not be pursuing relationships out of a genuine desire/interest in doing so or that the relationship was restrictive and abusive for her as well on some level. There's even a slight chance for a marriage of convenience to be aspects in play when it comes to Mahiru's situation.

Especially given the focus she put on honing the skills necessary to be a good wife. However, I haven't done enough research into that avenue as of now. It's just something that's slightly caught my eye, but I want to see Mahiru's door before making a call on whether to research it fully.

However, for those curious arranged marriages/marriages of convenience still happen in Japan even though they aren't as common as they once were. They also still occur in the US as well. So, it's really nothing specific to any country which would make it an interesting topic for Milgram to tackle. Especially considering the links between arranged marriages and domestic violence highlighted over the years.

Mahiru's family is well off enough to send her to university, set her up in a dorm, and give her a monthly allowance. So, it's not difficult to imagine them being willing to pursue arranged marriage candidates that may add more value to the family. It's also telling that Yuno seems to call out both Mikoto and Mahiru on their habits being troublesome and or seemingly performative.

20/06/29

Yuno: ……mmm, the food here is actually pretty nice. I wonder if the guard made it…… Oh yeah, Mahiru-san, do you cook?

Mahiru: Hm? I do~ Cooking, washing, cleaning, I love doing all those sorts of things~ Fufufu, I passed all my self-imposed training to become the perfect wife with flying colours!

Yuno: Wow, incredible… I don’t know whether to call that old-fashioned or what... Isn’t it a pain?

Mahiru: Eh~? I don’t think it’s a pain at all~ It’s fun~

Though it's important to note she does say these things were self-imposed here. However, This Is How To Be In Love With You having lyrics like, "I guess we can just say that this feeling is happiness; I can’t stop feeling like there’s something missing." "Ring ring, I’m calling you in the middle of the night. Forcing you to wake up, and I say, “Good Morning! But I fall asleep before you, I really feel bad you know?”.

Lines that imply Mahiru and her significant other live in different time zones. Because she says it's the middle of night for her but Morning for him. So, their relationship was probably partially in person and long distance. It's considerably weird that this line is even in this song given it directly conflicts with what the mv shows us at points. The imagery in the MV states that the man Mahiru liked had a part time job and that she first saw him on the terrace at her University, "On the terrace at university, when I met eyes with that person I knew it must be fate. I might have been born purely so I could one day end up together with him. Or not, am I just overthinking things?"

It also states, "I went to a coffee shop I saw in a magazine. I’ve always wanted to become “a regular” for something like this. I only just arrived in Tokyo recently, so everything seems so new and fun. Now if only there was love on the horizon too there’d be nothing else to say. Just kidding."

So, it's not like Mahiru has lived in Tokyo all her life she probably just moved out there for college. Which reframes her entire view and her focus on romance. Since that is literally the set up to most romance novels. Something she states to have read even before falling in love herself. Like yeah, she's a bit of a hopeless romantic but it's not without reason.

In her video that blog like format of hers is titled, "Become someone people will fall in love with at any time! 16 Day Memorial." It's also stated to be Produced by Mahiru. So, it's not a stretch at this point to believe that it's meant to memorialize the love they had from how they met and got together conveniently omitting the end.

This could also be why her video takes place over the course of 16 days. It's not chronologically 16 days in a row it's basically a highlight reel of the best moments. Plus, Milgram has shown that Mahiru has terrible taste in men.

She confides in Kazui of all people,

21/08/05   (Kazui’s Birthday) x

Kazui: Oh, Shina-chan? How scandalous, coming to a man’s room in the middle of the night like this. Well, not that it’s really a room, just a cell. ……just kidding, since you brought some drinks with you, I’m assuming you’ve come to wish me a happy birthday, right? Thank you.

Mahiru: Yep! Happy birthday Kazui-san~ Clap clap clap! But as well as that~ ……I also just maybe wanted to use it as an excuse so I could ask you for some advice over drinks, I suppose?

Kazui: Advice, huh. Well, you’re more than welcome, but I don’t really know what advice an old man like me could give you. I haven’t got the first clue about what love is like for a young girl nowadays.

Mahiru: Ahaha…… Don’t worry, much as I’d love to talk about that too, um…… er, Kazui-san. You know, recently I’ve been having the same dream every day. Lots of people were denying my actions…… Denying my thoughts…… that sort of dream.

And literally after this he just sort of fails to protect her from Kotoko in any way and is like if only I was fast enough. When it's like legitimately you should've been Kazui cause Mahiru was attacked before Futa sooo like you just chose not to do anything at that point. We're given the order in which these events took place since Kotoko attacked the most Guilty Prisoners first and Mahiru was Guiltier than Futa. So, like how did he logistically get to Futa without noticing or hearing what happened with Mahiru the woman who lives right next to him??? Like the fuck happened there?! Make it make sense.

He's acting like he feels sorry for her but I don't think it was because she was jumped but instead because of whatever the fuck she confided in him about up there. Like they still go into his room and have a conversation over drinks this is only a snippet of it. So, like what the fuck did she say?

And given lines like "We fought sometimes, I was happy to get hurt. Let’s have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad." Like it kind of comes off as someone pivoting hard into an idealistic overly romantic mindset to cover up domestic violence. Like how people will go who are you to judge he loves me this is love and it doesn't look the same for everyone. He's a good guy and this relationship may have its ups and downs but it's not that bad.

Her second trial song lyrics allude to this even more! "I am going crazy even I love saying 'I Love You'. My feelings are uncontrollable, I don't care about any trouble! How come, how come I'm not forgiven?!"

Even her response to Es having her jumped is just, "These injuries…… while you were sleeping…… I think it was Kotoko, probably. If it wasn’t for Shidou-san, I probably would’ve died…… It doesn’t hurt. Compared to my heart after you wouldn’t forgive it, not at all." Something she continues to push forth even with other prisoners like Yuno,

22/09/02 (Yuno’s Birthday)

Mahiru: ……no, I’m fine. As long as I don’t move too much I don’t even feel any pain. Sorry, for making you worry.

Yuno: Oh, really? That’s good then. Mahiru-san, if there’s anything you want then just ask. It’s not like it’s a huge burden, I can just ask for it along with my own stuff.

Mahiru: Ok…… I’m fine for now. Sorry, for making you worry. Ah, Yuno-chan…… Today’s your birthday, right? Happy birthday.

Yuno: ………… Haha, thanks. Thank you, but y’know. Is it really ok for you to be saying that to me when you’re in that situation? ……you really aren’t suited for Milgram, huh, Mahiru-san.

Yeah, Mahiru was clingy and possibly emotionally draining to deal with but the fact that she goes I was happy to get hurt along with all this should probably raise more red flags than it is. Like personally I think it should set off the alarm like ding, ding, ding, we might be dealing with a victim of domestic violence. And as I always say if a man or woman hits their partner at any point in a relationship then they die in that relationship well...they had it coming. It truly does take two to have a bad relationship. a relationship of any kind actually.

#milgram #shiina mahiru

[hermitcatlongposts]

What is this game?

I mean it is a video game indeed. What does it really mean to me? What does this game stand for? Why is it being made at all?

What I'm about to say next is gonna be so hazardously cliche that you might wanna brace yourself. The journey of developing this game was a journey of self discovery. Yes I too am cringing at what I said. But not self discovery as in oh I didn't know who I was and now I suddenly do. I always knew who I was since young age. It's discovery of how intense the "who I am"-ness goes. In fact, someone more sane and reasonable than me would say it's so much that it's counterproductive.

I actually did talk about a platformer game I used to work on like a year ago at SubscribeStar. I gave up on it because I was making it just because I was told by my environment at the time that it's the best route for beginners. I like neither "minimalist" graphics nor platformer genre. Also making vector art was so painful for me.

So the significance of my current touhou clone project is that I said fuck you to "minimalist" vector art and started drawing normal, raster art with my mouse. Drawing with mouse was of course equally painful but the difference was that I tapped into my dormant passion for art, like not just a general loose definition of art such as banana taped on wall, but specifically "moving my hands around and laying pigment on a canvas". Digital equivalent, of course. Shortly followed by buying a drawing tablet.

So what this game initially was going to be was just a prototype purely for the sake of learning the ways of programming a bullet hell and a complete game (as opposed to gamejam). But the jagginess of a mouse drawn sprites were just too unbearably and physically painful to look at and it was nothing less than a necessity to redraw with my beloved drawing tablet so at least it'll have smooth edges, easy on the eyes.

hey, amazing opportunity to have a look at old artworks

But, even after all these years of being a game developer I was still hilariously naive. Technically the first game I ever made was in fucking 2015. The first one to be uploaded on the internet was in 2017. It's unbelievable how I still thought foolishly like "Oh yeah I can finish this game in just 3 months. Ha, see ya soon as a proud developer of a released title."

Anyways, the point is that after such a long time of working on it, I suddenly couldn't see myself just throwing it away as a prototype intended for no one to seriously play it. So the game evolved into "at least a proper game". Which was actually a great decision because, I could release an utterly bare bone prototype that only just serves to have the core idea of a bullet hell touhou clone in terms of programming. But if I did that, I would spend ten years on my second project because that would-be prototype is still nowhere near enough of a programming school. What I didn't realize in the past is how enormous the difference between just spewing out prototype code and meticulously developing a full game with all little mini-mechanics and mini-systems working in harmony. So by spending more time on my first project, I will be spending less time on my second.

I thought that's what the game was gonna be. Just a nice and proper game that I won't feel any shame about purposefully making it garbage like I was originally planning to. Someone sane might say that would be very reasonable place to stop but here comes the part where I expand upon what I said at the beginning about it being a journey of realization of the depths of my personality coming at a detriment of productivity, as in how fast I produce products.

You know how the dress of my player character looks. It's a reference to that platformer game. I am a craftsman through and through (please don't take it as I'm jerking my own dick, I'm just trying to communicate myself clearly). I have emotional connection to my creations for I see them as something that is real and has meaning. I'm not a producer pumping out products on a conveyor belt feeding the bottomless vortex of consumerism. So instead of completely cutting that old platformer game out of my life like it was nothing at all, I decided to pay homage to it as elements in my current game. Basically an easter egg that only extremely few, like 2 or 3 people will recognize. Although it was abandoned for legitimate reasons, I respect it as my first attempt at serious, non-gamejam game. And I immortalize it's legacy this way.

You might remember this flipping tile thing was actually made long ago. But instead of having just a random nothing as a texture, I made it a throwback to one of the key elements of Square Heart (the name of the platformer game, btw), the iconic blue crates and outlines that light up when the player walks over them. Btw the loading is intentionally slowed down to show the spinning border lights more clearly. It doesn't load that slowly in reality lol. Wait, that means players are not gonna really see the thing I spent so much time making...

This is how the player would respawn. Just pop right back up. I mean there is nothing wrong with it. It's a classic animation in all the arcade shooter games.

What I decided to do however is a throwback to how the player character of SquareHeart respawned.

This one is gonna appear in only one of the 5 stages because only one has a night sky. This is the iconic minimalist gradient trees that I tried so hard in SquareHeart to be the main attraction. I actually always planned to have no background at all in this game for the sake of not getting way too ridiculously ahead of myself for a first game. Just plop down the skybox I found on the Unity Asset Store. Now that I decided to do this in one of the stages, I have pushed the standard so I have to figure out something for other stages as well. Also the speeding up you see is not the default but just a short section. Inspired by stage 4 of Touhou 8: Imperishable Night, where the boss tries to run away mid-fight and you chase after them. "Chasing" as in just the background scrolling faster, nothing else really.

The bomb, or what's modernly referred to as SpellCard of the player is a legacy that's actually truly lost. Long long ago in 2019, there was an ancestral version of SquareHeart that featured a cutscene that focuses on this circle flower-like talisman thingy. Literally only one person might remember it besides myself.

This one is not part of the SquareHeart. But if you remember, before I actually started to draw, the player character of my bullet hell was a vector art butterfly. In fact, it all started from a game-jam I wrote a blogpost about right here on Tumblr a long time ago. In fact, if I remember correctly that blogpost is the very reason why I created a Tumblr account to begin with. So this butterfly too won't be forgotten. It's now on the other side as a mini-boss. And every other stages will also have butterflies of different design as their mini-bosses.

And, yeah et cetera. There is actually at least one more easter egg to make but I'm yet to come to a final design decision.

I want this game to be actually something more than "just a proper game for the sake of being a proper game", let alone a throwaway prototype. I want this game to have an actual self to stand solid and have meaning to me. And that meaning is that it's the first step of my journey as an artist ("art" as in a form of indie games, not just visual illustration) but also a rightful payment of respect to my first step as just game developer in general. The past should be put to rest respectfully so the future shall flourish in full force.

[pushdaisies]

@wihlted asked: 🤥 , 👻 , 👪 , 🥞 ,🍧 , 🌙 , 🙉 , 🪤 , 🍼 , 📦 , 🖍️

🤥 LYING : are they good liars? do they have tells to show they're lying?

she's a pretty good liar because she can play off her hesitations as just not remembering how to say it in english, and it's believable because yeah, that tracks, it's happened before and will happen again. those closest to her know that her tell is that she bites the insides of her cheeks in her hesitation period as she builds the lie in her mind before speaking it - noted by how her lips move to one side of her face. she doesn't lie often, however, because she doesn't like to lie. she only lies if she thinks its absolutely necessary.

👻 GHOST : do they believe in ghosts? what are their "ghostly experiences", if any?

nah, she thinks she'd like to believe in them but she doesn't think it's really probable. she won't be mean to people who do believe in ghosts, though. she fully respects others' feelings about things and doesn't ever try to tell them they're crazy if they share their own ghostly encounters.

👪 FAMILY : what is their family like? what is your ocs relationship to them? does your oc have any siblings?

It's just her, her mom, and her little sister Isabella. Her dad died when she was 6, and her memories of him are limited, but they try to keep his memory alive as much as they can. Isa doesn't remember very much at all, being 2 when he died, but Alma talks about him often enough to make it feel like she knew him. It's important to her that the girls know how much he adored them and generally how great of a man he was. Julieta loves her little family with her whole heart, and she'd do literally anything for them. When her and Eddie become besties, he and Wayne are an extension of the family as well. And she'd do anything for them too.

🥞 PANCAKE : what is their comfort breakfast?

huevos rancheros! (with refried beans!)

🍧 SHAVED ICE : do they still have any objects from their childhood? what significance does it have to them? what would their reaction be if they lost it?

can i come back to this later i haven't thought about this as much jhsdkhsdkh. i do know one thing she has is her dad's old guitar, which i mentioned in this post. if she ever lost it she would cry for days, weeks, months on end. for obvious reasons.

🌙 MOON : what is your oc's greatest wish? how far are they willing to go for it?

ultimately i think it is to just have a good time. to be able to relax. she's been working so hard for so long, y'know. she stresses herself out. her greatest wish that everyone in her life is cared for and safe and all that are part of it, because she does a lot to ensure this happens, and it comes at the cost of her own peace. she doesn't want others to worry so she'll worry for them, doesn't want others to struggle so does a little bit extra to lift the weight from their shoulders, etc. if everyone is cared for and at peace, she can be at peace, and man does she want to be at peace so bad.

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL : what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

ohoho. maybe that she isn't enough : isn't good enough, isn't working hard enough, isn't smart enough etc. etc. etc. that she isn't enough. she doesn't NEED to be liked by everyone, she doesn't care about that, but to be told that all of her effort is for nothing ... yeah that would certainly kill her i think!!! its almost worse when said indirectly, like benny did when he cheated on her! mhm she wanted to die real bad after that :)

🪤 MOUSE TRAP : what will always lure them into certain danger? a loved one in danger? a promise of something they are always searching for?

yeah, you got it prompt. it's a loved one in danger. enrique iglesias vc: sheee can beee your heeero baaayyybeehh, (or die trying. and i'm so serious. the adrenaline kicks in and she's going to fiercely defend and protect her loved ones from any and every threat. luckily i have given her plot armor because she has a very long successful music career ahead of her but :) that doesn't mean she won't suffer first haha ha).

🍼 BABY BOTTLE : what are their thoughts on children?

SHE LOVES KIDS. she wants to have at least two kids, she'd feel bad only having one kid because being an only child seems so lonely. she'd want them to be as close and have each other's backs as much as she and isabella always have and always will. she's a little worried sometimes that with becoming famous she's lessened her chances of this, because of how demanding the life of a musician can be, especially in the bright spotlight she's earned, but she still hopes to start a family regardless.

📦 PACKAGE : what are some "most likely to…" that can apply to them?

most likely to win a grammy, most likely to give herself a panic attack over the most miniscule thing, most likely to make friends everywhere she goes, most likely to be in love with her best friend, most likely to fall to her knees if she met her celebrity crush jeff goldblum

🖍️ CRAYON : what advice would you give to them?

wait this one is so cute wtf. i would tell julieta to stop worrying so much, because everything is going to work out in the end! i know i'm the maker of her disasters but god gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers and julieta is a very strong soldier so i think she can handle it. also to please think things through fully in the dating area because jesus her taste is abysmal outside of eddie. a pretty face does not mean a pretty heart! stop trusting these mfs!

#✦ ˙ ˖ — page 03 : headcanon.

[liar-remastered-2011]

i still have the urge to lie about my IRL identity online, even though i'm more than old enough to engage with whatever content i want.

to be honest, there's still things i lie about online. not nearly as much as before, and now it's more obscuring or leaving out things instead of making things up, but i still do it.

i don't know if i want to be honest. it's safe to lie. if anyone reveals fake info, nothing dangerous would happen, i just block them and move on. if someone reveals real information, that's dangerous.

i want to think no one i know would do that, but you can never tell. even if you ask. especially if you ask. you just have to tell them and see what happens... and while i would like for someone to know, i don't want to tell anyone.

i'm the only one that knows everything about myself. that's true for everyone on the planet, but i sometimes wish i could talk to people about things i've never talked about before. like, i don't talk about the most significant parts of my identity and experiences because they involve things like my AGAB and what relates to it. i don't do things i want to do because i'm so anxious about it.

it gets in the way of relationships and connection and leaves me as an outcast, but what am i supposed to do?

in the end, it's a matter of respect. everyone knows you're trans when you say you're nonbinary. no one is born nonbinary. i can't just hide the fact i'm nonbinary. some people can pretend they're not trans, but not me. i cannot tolerate it. i cannot be around people who keep calling me by my birth pronouns, and it's getting to be the same way with my birth name, even though i don't have a new name picked out yet....

and they'll put you in a box depending on what your AGAB is -- if you're AFAB, you're bascially cis, trans guy lite, or hopping onto a trend. if you're AMAB, you're basically cis, trans girl lite, or a predator.

and people purposely misgender you -- online and IRL, but i'm talking about online. they still misgender me. remember that time i got a hate comment on comicfury but they guessed my AGAB wrong? funniest thing ever, but yeah. it doesn't hurt if they don't know your AGAB.

it's the fact that they want to hurt you that keeps me from talking about it. it's easier to be trans when no one knows what your AGAB is. not to minimize struggles ofc but stealthing as a binary trans person is a lot easier than for a nonbinary person.

everything feels so fake. i'm fake. i'm an actor playing myself in a movie. i want "real" relationships, which can't happen if i hide everything important about me, but it's too dangerous to expose it. ... really, it isn't that dangerous, it's not the total end of the world if someone leaks my AGAB... but it's the end of the world for me. it doesn't make sense and i know it, but i can't get over it. my information is the only thing i have control over. i need to be in control. i need to be safe. even if that means being alone.

#in reference to previous reblog #og

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

hey what are your expectations for the new bts album?

Hey! That's a good question. I'm a glass half-empty kind of gal (actually, I'm a glass half-full kind of gal if we're actually talking about glasses!), so don't expect a super positive answer from me, but that's probably why you've sent me this ask anyway!

I saw the leaked tracklist and was honestly super surprised, I couldn't believe it even though it seemed legit. Born Singer? Who would've thought! It seems the leaked tracklist is legit though... But in the leaked tracklist most songs appeared to be remixes or unreleased versions of existing songs, while the official tracklist for CD1 seems to only include the originals, no remixes or nothing... If the same thing happens with CD2, then only CD3 has a few demos and new content (apart from the new tracks!). If Tony Montana with Jimin is actually in it, then Proof has already surpassed my expectations (of it being a normal Best Of album).

I understand why CD 1 would be just the title tracks, but I didn't like the tracklist for CD 2 (which might still be fake!). Imo, they didn't choose the "best" BTS songs, or even the most meaningful ones. I guess they chose the ones with the most sentimental value to Army (like Moon, Stay, Her) as well as the most popular solo tracks (Euphoria, Seesaw, Ego, Persona). It's still essentially a Best Of compilation, but they had to add the unit and solo songs even though they are generally not the best BTS songs... But why is Her on the album? Because it's about Army? Isn't Tear a million times better, more popular, and more significant to the fandom? Dimple is on the album too, as well as Zero O'Clock. I mean, 00:00 I get, but why Dimple instead of Pied Pier, or say, Mic Drop? For the most part, it seems like they chose the chillest, most "pop" songs. I wonder when "hip hop" BTS will make a comeback. Personally, I would only listen to the first album, perhaps not in full, and maybe the third album too, depending on what's in it.

Proof doesn't feel at all worth the money, but none of their physical albums are worth the money to me. You can listen to all of BTS's old songs on Spotify, and they could've just released the demos for free during Festa. The three new singles could've been released together or something. It's like 80 dollars, or whatever it costs (plus maybe shipping and duties), for CDs people won't play and a few photocards and posters to add to the collection. Oh, and, obviously, for the pleasure of knowing you "supported" BTS and own their albums, even if these albums just end up collecting dust on Armys' shelves. Personally, I don't see the point.

As for my expectations regarding the new songs... They were low, but now they're lower. I did something unethical and listened to the leaked samples, and, yeah... it was very Life Goes On, and I think one LGO was already more than enough. Fans were all like "LGO was perfect because of the pandemic", but, to quote Psy, "pandemic's over, uh" and they're still releasing music like LGO (f the leaked songs are legit). Once you've crossed a line, there's no coming back... There was a leaked song called Run which sounded promising, but it's probably not that great... I imagine the songs will be in BE's style, which is not for me... Also, Yet to Come was produced by MAX, and his music is definitely not my style, so that doesn't bode well for me either. I mean, I know the songs will be nice, but will they be great? Dunno, but I know they'll grow on me, at least. Other fans might find them great though. I expect another WAB: The Eternal from them, and that's a song most fans are crazy about, but I'm not.

So, yeah, that's it! Thanks for the ask!

#ask #bts #proof

[elainemorisi]

I’ve now had two of my closest friends say, almost verbatim, “hah, I can’t even imagine you socially anxious”, which is... very strange, but also hey, three cheers for adequate coping mechanisms?

#in the last like two weeks to be clear #the coping mechanisms being primarily sheer fuckit ego and excessive study #I guess by now I am legitimately not made anxious #but I was when I met them! #not remotely to the degree I was talking about in both cases aka the degree I was as a small kid but still #and now is only because I've engineered my life such that I almost never encounter a situation that would still trigger anxiety #which yeah is in significant part because I'm old enough to just know that nothing that bad can possibly happen #but also nothing in my personal or professional lives depends on better-than-fine socializing #I'm sort of curious whether parent-socializing will tweak it again #because there at least in theory my kid might share in consequences so you can't just Well Fuck You I Didn't Care Anyway your way out #but also this part of the world is pretty damn chill so idk if it'll even be a thing #anyway! I knew the coping mechanisms functioned perfectly well I just didn't expect them to be that invisible? #and these friends are respectively genuinely a natural #and the like... single person on the planet who I might grant has more insight into me (on some things/if she uses it) than I do #which is normally a conceit I find EXTREMELY stupid #ymmv on self-awareness I guess but seriously people? anyway

[limitededitionsanderssidesblog]

Orange is Offence

I've seen several different theories floating around both prior to and post the new aside video, Working THROUGH Intrusive Thoughts. So I decided to throw my two cents in.

So my main cause for concern about Orange's identity has always been that he is never explicitly referenced by ANY of the other sides. They never once speak of him, but he has made himself known before, such as in the episode SVS Redux, when he appears briefly amid one of the videogame cutaways as an orange colored 4110.

This is the first instance we've had of a dark side choosing to attempt communication individually without aid or disguise from the other sides.

For instance, our first known hint of Remus actually comes from the episode The Sanders Sides 12 Days of Christmas, where Roman says the line:

"May visions of sugarplums dance in your head and hopefully not visions of your naked aunt Patty... Yeah, I don't know where that came from."

And later in Remus's introduction song, this image appears behind him:

For Janus, his existence was first hinted when he silences Roman from speaking in Accepting Anxiety Part 2/2. Later when he finally did reveal himself, whenever he would appear it would always be as one of the four main sides.

Then why is Orange different? Why was he able to speak to Thomas (in an albeit round about way through a videogame screen) when he has yet to show himself fully to him?

Well first lets look at what the color orange represents.

A few positive meanings of orange, of many, include balance, freedom, and expression. The most common negative associations of the color include crassness, rudeness, and frivolity.

Next, the newest big revelation in TSS since Deceit's reveal.

Logan's outburst:

Now, many people have been theorizing that Orange is a part of Logan, and that they could be either a dichotomy/set of twins such as with Roman and Remus. But I don't think that's the case.

(I'd like to give credit to @candiecards for this next portion.)

In fact, I don't think Orange has any significant relation to Logan apart from the other sides. Rather, I think Orange is using Logan as an easy target/susceptible vessel. Just like how Janus would only appear by mimicking the other sides and disguising himself as him, I think Orange manipulates the other sides through a sort of mind control. Which is why he would be able to greet Thomas through the 43110 screen, by manipulating and altering Roman's videogame example to suit his needs.

First off, Logan has always been rather short-tempered, this is nothing new. In fact, Thomas called him (and Roman) out on it in the episode Fitting In (Hogwarts Houses!). Also, remember the time in Learning New Things About Ourselves, when Logan grew so annoyed with Roman's constant berating of his character, screamed, and threw a notecard at his eye? If Orange was always a part of him, and can be presumed to appear in fits of rage, why didn't he appear then?

Because he isn't inherently connected to Logan.

But Logan is becoming an easy target for Orange.

Over the past few episodes, and even throughout the series, Logan has been feeling left out and ignored. He was benched in SVS and was skipped and tossed aside in SVS Redux. Besides Roman, I'd say Logan is the most self-engrossed and prideful, believing that he is more important to Thomas than the other sides. He even stated in Learning New Things About Ourselves that he is the one who "maintains order."

However, when we are introduced to the state of Thomas's life in the newest episode, it is clear that Thomas is completely disorganized and has lost any sense of control over minimal things such as keeping clothes off his staircase.

It's then made clear by the way Logan speaks with Thomas that he has been trying for an undetermined amount of time to convince Thomas to reorganize himself, but that Thomas has ignored him each time.

Throughout the episode we see Logan eagerly push Thomas to work on his set schedule, but then conceding several times to Thomas's more pressing needs to deal with Remus and his intrusive thoughts over Nico's lack of a reply to a text he sent the previous day. Logan does appear patient with both Thomas and Remus, trying to logic his way through each set back, telling Thomas it's okay to take a break because of his intrusive thoughts, and trying to reason with Remus to hold himself back so he can work with Thomas more efficiently. Of course, it doesn't work, and he snaps at Remus to stop ignoring him.

Interestingly enough, at the same time Logan snaps, Thomas, who had previously appeared only anxious over Nico, then appears angry that he's being ghosted.

They become offended over the same thing. Being ignored.

Before I continue, allow me to provide a clear definition of the word offence.

Offence (noun): annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one's standards or principles.

As a reminder, the color orange can represent both freedom, expression, and crudeness.

When one believes that their freedom and expression of themselves and their beliefs have been insulted they take offence and often lash out in anger and become crude.

Offence can come from many places, it can come from different experiences, different expressions and emotions; but the reaction that is birthed from that offence is almost always outbursts of anger. Just think of a self-righteous Karen demanding to see a manager.

Throughout the story, Logan has been teased and ridiculed for his love and belief in strict and ridged methods and lifestyles. For him, planning and organizing and due dates are all fun things he enjoys, but to the other sides, its all just a bore and they make fun of him for it.

Logan comes off as (one of) the "angriest" side because he is constantly taking offence from others and defending himself. He is also more emotionally stifled than the other sides and does not know how to properly regulate his emotions, making him more prone to outbursts of anger. This would make it easy for Orange to take over/control him, by using his anger to blind him.

I mentioned in an old theory of mine, What is Deceit Really After?, that I believe Janus is plotting to create a power shift a from the "light" sides to the "dark" sides. And while in that theory I said I believe Janus would try to manipulate Virgil to gain power, although I still think that may be possible, I now also believe that Janus wants Orange to use Logan's offence and anger against him to control and manipulate him instead. After all, Janus was the one responsible for keeping the dark sides suppressed, only allowed to appear if Thomas wished to see them. But now they are appearing without Thomas first giving his consent to meet them.

He released Remus, promising that he would make sure that Thomas would no longer "deceive [himself] about the ugliness within [him]." Orange's sudden appearance could be the next step in Janus's plan to gain control, although I'm not sure what he could have offered Orange in exchange.

In the final moments of the episode, Janus is perched on a tree where he eats a green apple and says "Yes, everything is just fine."

As pointed out by @ethecookednoodle green apples represent matters of the mind.

The green apple at the end could very well hint at the upcoming events of the story regarding Logan and orange as the side representing Thomas's mind, and the side that performs mind-control over those who lose themselves to offence.

After all, whether he believes it or not, Logan has the most say in what Thomas does and thinks, comparable only to Patton, who Janus is in the process of seducing.

#thank you for reading #i made this on a whim #so im not sure it makes sense #ts spoilers #sanders sides #thomas sanders #orange side theory #ts theory #ts theories #orange side #ts orange side #logan sanders #ts logan #janus sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders

[yemilnisu]

INCORRECT HAIKYUU QUOTES FROM BUZZFEED UNSOLVED PT. 2

nisu entries:

a part two because i said so 🥴 i really enjoy these and you guys seems to enjoy it too i assume 💀 and i may or may not have a part 3 in my drafts ksksks

warning: swearing

「part 1」

Kenma: i don’t think anybody wants to spend any time here (earth)

Kuroo: that! so they (aliens) just blow it up.

Kenma: oh. *shrugs* if that happens, who cares?

Kuroo: i care because i live here!

Kenma: yeah, but then everyone's dead so nothing matters and that's kinda cool. i mean, what a privilege it would be-

Kuroo: you sound like a movie villain right now!

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Suna: i'm not even thinking that. i'm tweetin' and i'm streaming. wait- do i have my significant social media followers?

Osamu: you don’t have any following at this point 'cause you're suna rintaro in the timeline where you're at nasa.

Suna: …oh. i don’t even wanna live.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Matsukawa: you know, this was supposed to be the season of respecting ghosts and every time i've tried to do that, you yell at me to disrespect them.

Oikawa: i'm telling you to be true to who you are.

Matsukawa: i mean, that is certainly valid.

Oikawa: (laughs)

Matsukawa: 'cause i am living a lie otherwise because we're talking to air!

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Akaashi: oh, i see it. there's a bird right there.

Bokuto: oh, there's a bunch up there. hey, bros.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Nishinoya: you know, i didn’t walk down west cell block.

*nishinoya humming and walking to west cell block*

Nishinoya: it's nice over here, i like it.

(high pitched whistling)

(distant thudding)

Nishinoya: *stops*

Nishinoya: if that's somebody up there, make that noise again in your cell.

(distant thud)

Nishinoya: ha-ha i fucking hate this place. i really do.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Voice: (whispers) atsumu.

Atsumu: who is that?

Atsumu: *looking around for the voice* *lowkey scared*

Osamu: do you hear the little whispers?

Atsumu: please.

Osamu: oops. (laughs)

Suna: *behind the camera snickering because he was the one who suggested it*

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Lev: oh fuck, i forgot the spirit box, shit.

Kenma: go get it!

Lev: my hands are full 🥺

Kenma: well, try your best.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Bokuto: *baby voice* it's a little cockroach. you seen any ghosts up here, fella?

Kuroo: (laughs)

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Ushijima: do you feel like you have someone else's thoughts?

Tendou: sometimes.

Ushijima: that wasn't the question. i think you misunderstood me.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Kuroo: so right now, we’re in the captain's quarters.

Kuroo: is there anybody in here that wants to speak to us?

Bokuto: spill your beans, buddy.

Kuroo: what did you do on this ship?

Bokuto: he probably commanded it.

Kuroo: you know, i was asking him.

Bokuto: what'd you do on this ship?

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Tanaka: if you'd like us to leave and shut up, which frankly almost anybody who interacts with us for more than five minutes would like us to do, move something.

Nishinoya: spank us on the bottom!

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Sakusa: i mean, this sink is absolutely disgusting. this is maybe the scariest thing i’ve seen in all six seasons of this show.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Oikawa: *waving at his reflection*

Oikawa: always nice to see a friendly face.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Sakusa: i don’t know why people think darkness is actually scary because i can’t see anything. it was scarier when the lights were on 'cause i could see you know filth, things falling apart.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Semi: (knocking) let's boogie, folks! little guy needs a win. ghost, that would be great. if you got a mummy or a vampire, also good. i think he'd also count that as sort of proof of the supernatural.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Tsukishima: please haunt me! i’m begging you to haunt me! scare the shit out of me! do something! (laughs)

Tsukishima: how many times do i have to plead with air, with nothing? i’m speaking to no one right now.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Shirabu: if you don’t pop out, then i’ve wasted several years of my life. i mean, i went to college, and my major was not ghost hunting.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Osamu: what's 'tsumu doing in there? who the hell knows? he's probably gonna take out his little spirit box.

*meanwhile at atsumu*

Atsumu: i’m gonna fire up the spirit box now. i am shaking 'cause i’m so scared 😄

*back to osamu*

Osamu: it’s probably gonna say something that doesn’t sound like any words any human's ever spoken.

*back to atsumu*

(spirit box blares)

Spirit box: "do it"

Atsumu: oh shit!

*back to osamu*

Osamu: he'll probably respond to it like he's sitting across the table from a friend, playing scrabble.

*back to atsumu*

Atsumu: did you say ‘do it’ or 'tsumu?

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Sugawara: old timey jails, very fun to visit... and that’s all i’ve got to say about that *sips coffee*

Asahi: (chuckles) nothing about the ghouls?

Sugawara: there will be no ghouls, there will be dust, there will be noises that you, you know, pee your pants over.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

(bang)

Matsukawa: oh?

Hanamaki: ooh, a nice little drum hit.

Matsukawa: yeah, we got a beatboxing demon in here?

(bang)

Hanamaki: oh, shit, another one!

Matsukawa: *starts beatboxing*

Hanamaki: 🎶 my name is makki and i’m here to say. we’re the baddest ghost hunters in the usa. hunting demons and ghouls too 🎶

(unintelligible sound from the spirit box)

Hanamaki: what?

Matsukawa: *beatboxing*

Hanamaki: wait, hold on, we actually got a response!

Matsukawa: *still beatboxing*

Hanamaki: stop beatboxing! (laughing)

Matsukawa: huh, oh, sorry.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Koganegawa: *whispering* choo choo pickle pie.

Futakuchi: (wheeze) choo choo pickle pie, what the f--?

Koganegawa: i don’t know. i’m just thinking of a funny thing a ghost could whisper

Futakuchi: (wheeze)

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Tendou: and by the way, if you want a little more one-on-one time with the tsutomu here, he'll be here alone soon enough.

Goshiki: …

Tendou: *backing away while keeping eye contact with goshiki *

Goshiki: it’s a long way to back out. you gonna keep that speed going?

Tendou: is the door behind me?

Goshiki: it’s close.

Tendou: *still backing away but carefully trying to avoid the door without looking behind him and eye contact still on goshiki*

Goshiki: did that work out the way you wanted?

Tendou: *still backing away*

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Kageyama: you gonna sit in that chair? we’re not allowed to.

Hinata: oh, yeah.

Kageyama: but we are the internet's paranormal bad boys.

Hinata: (chuckle) that’s right, were controversial.

Kageyama: we’re planning cheek to chair, baby. you ain’t gonna stop me.

Hinata: i’m sitting in that thing bare ass.

Kageyama: i’m gonna give that thing a high-five with my butt cheeks.

*later at the location*

Kageyama: yeah, not gonna happen, i’m not sitting on that.

Hinata: that looks like a death trap.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Shirabu: the human mind, if it’s looking for something, it'll find something. and he's going to find something. and it will destroy him.

*meawhile*

Goshiki: holy shit. it felt like something walked past me twice, one from the right side, once on the left side.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Akaashi: it’s gone quiet now and i’m afraid he’s dead.

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#incorrect haikyuu quotes #incorrect hq quotes #haikyuu x reader #kenma x reader #kuroo x reader #suna x reader #osamu x reader #matsukawa x reader #oikawa x reader #akaashi x reader #bokuto x reader #nishinoya x reader #atsumu x reader #lev x reader #ushijima x reader #tendou satori x reader #tanaka x reader #sakusa x reader #semi x reader #tsukishima x reader #shirabu x reader #sugawara x reader #asahi x reader #hanamaki x reader #futakuchi x reader #koganegawa x reader #goshiki x reader #hinata x reader #kageyama x reader #haikyuu

[bookofmirth]

Hi!You wanted to talk about Mor more often and I so happen to be quite confused about her.

I liked her character in the first books. But in ACOSF she simply disappeared. I can't remember any significant scenes or chapters with her in it. She has a great friendship with Cassian, they used to go out till the death of night often according to the previous books. Suddenly she doesn't even have a private conversation with Cassian at all throughout a whole massive book with Cass' POV too? I'm not sure if i'm right about them not have a single conversation on their own. Nonetheless their friendship feels nonexistent in ACOSF.

Is it because SJM is anticipating Mor's own book? But that wouldn't explain why their friendship suddenly changed so much? I understand she's off to other lands to do whatever it is she is doing. I only remember Mor eating with the IC once I think. And some dance classes.

Her absence made me think it was just a convenient timing thing. No Mor/Nesta/Cassian altercation. Even during the dance classes scenes there is not really any growth between Nesta and Mor, they are simply civil. Nothing more nothing less. As a good friend/almost family of Cass I'd expect there to be more, atleast trying to get to know eachother for the sake of Cass? Does that make sense? Idk it felt strange that Mor had no growth in either relationships.

Secondly do you think she's leading Azriel on by not telling him for 500 years that's she is not interested in him? Is she so scared of his reaction? Feyre is the only one who she explained it to. I also kinda find it ridiculous that as a Spymaster he hasn't figured it out yet. She also sleeps with Helion to make it clear to Az that she's not interested in him romantically. The sadest part is that she said she doesn't quite enjoy it entirely.

I think she needs tons of healing still too. And things are going on on that other continent (Hybern? Vallahan? ) and i'm confused it feels like she is not succeeding at all with negotiations. And it's just a vague plot point imo that will lead to war, just for the sake of having some more stories to be told.

Thank you for reading my chaotic thoughts :)

Okay I am finally getting to this, thanks for being patient!!!

So for background, Mor has always been one of my favorite characters in this series, and I am not a huge fan of what has happened to her past her coming out in acowar. Her brotp with Cassian is one of my favorite things ever to headcanon. I had written fanfic with her and Az, her and Nesta, her and Elain. I think that's it.

But yeah, to have a whole book where Cassian was a major character and to hardly get any Mor content, it's weird??? I can see it being an issue if Nesta was jealous, but now that I think about it, Nesta never displayed any jealousy toward Mor in all of acosf, not where Cassian was concerned. I think that Nesta did regret not being closer to Mor when she first got to the Night Court, because she sees how everyone else treats Mor like she is kindness personified and so Nesta reflects on how she treated Mor. But people in the fandom have had the impression that Mor was in the way between Nesta and Cassian, which I never understood, and which acosf proved is incorrect, even from Nesta's POV.

The only conversation I can think of Cassian and Mor having was when he thinks about how she is as beautiful inside as out and how he thinks she doesn't know. (Sidenote, my heart, he is so precious.) But there was nothing of substance. WHYYYYY. I would rather have had zero stupid plot and 800 pages of character development than what we got.

I think that, besides the pregnancy plot, the thing that bothers me most about acosf is the fact that Mor not only disappeared from the narrative, but that her queerness is basically erased because it's not relevant to the plot. And queerness is not a plot device. It's not a "gotcha" moment to change who the fandom ships.

Nesta and Mor did get to know each other a bit, like you said with the dancing lessons, but it was super minimal. I would expect that Nesta's relationship with Mor would have grown in the same way that her relationship with Azriel did, because Azriel and Mor are arguably Cassian's closest friends. (Besides Rhys, but Nesta and Rhys had their own issues.) So why didn't it? I'm trying to be generous with sjm on this one, but I think that it again comes down to Mor not being useful because her queerness wouldn't be useful to the acosf plot. Maybe I'm wrong. I hope that I am.

The one thing about Mor in acosf was that she kept leaving and when she returned she was upset about something, which you mentioned. I assume we will find out what this is all about eventually? Because we got Mor's POV in acofas too, and even then she was off on her own and there was something watching her from the woods, and a lot of people think it was Bryaxis, but we haven't had confirmation. Plus, we have the whole deal with Keir coming to Velaris. She has stuff coming up for sure, and so maybe Mor, like Elain and Lucien, have been put on the back burner because other stories are coming first.

The thing with Az - I don't think that she has been leading him on. She tries to tell him in her own way, without having to come out, that she isn't going to be interested. I wish that she felt safe enough just tell Azriel, but there is a combination of things keeping her from doing that: the homophobia of the Court of Nightmares and her family, her desire to keep that part of herself sacred, and maybe (maybe?) Azriel's reaction to that discussion. I think she knows that Az is particularly fragile and they have gone so long without talking that at this point it's just festering. Ugh, when they finally do talk it's going to be intense. But I do hesitate to say she is scared of his reaction because...

I don't think that Az really loves her the way he seemed to in acomaf. After seeing how he has treated her and now how he treats Elain, I think that Mor (and Elain) are actually convenient people because his "infatuation" with them keeps people from looking too deeply at what Az is actually doing - or not doing. So if anything, Mor and Azriel having that conversation would be a huge relief where they could both stop having to pretend around each other all the time. I'm torn because I think he does have a temper and he has a history of not thinking about how that temper impacts Mor, but I also don't think that, ultimately, his feelings are deep enough to make him react that way. The only reason he would do that is a cover for the things he is really afraid of. Which I have a whole different ask about haha.

Okay, number three in my acosf pet peeves is that there was NO HINT that Rhys, or Cassian, or Azriel know that Mor is queer. I was CONVINCED that we would find out in acosf that at least one of them knows. It doesn't make any sense for them to not! After all this time, and them supposedly being so close. I hope that it's not being reserved for plot reasons because EW. Like, there is a reason that sexual assault shouldn't be used for plot or character development, right? It's the same thing with queerness and I hope that that is not what is coming.

It might all come down to the way that as the series progresses, sjm seems incapable of thinking about a character if they aren't on the page at that moment. It's why Elain seems to have been held in suspension since the end of acowar. And now Mor does. And honestly Lucien does too. Amren just never changes because she's so old. I think she's ready to break Azriel out of the cryogenic ice stuff now but I don't really like this style of writing where characters' motivations are completely hidden just because they aren't the main character.

#sjm critical #acosf #acotar: morrigan #morrigan #ask #heleencollier

[lady-divine-writes]

Good Omens Secret Santa 2020 - “Lights Will Guide You Home” (Rated PG13)

Summary: While watching the kids for the night, Crowley takes them all on an adventure, which includes a trip to the states to look at the Christmas lights. He drives them around to see bigger and gaudier displays, but Aziraphale is a little confused when he finally gets to see Crowley's favorite. (1556 words)

Notes: Written for Micha (@one-with-the-floor) as part of the Good Omens Secret Santa 2020 gift exchange.

Read on AO3.

"How about this one, kids? This might be the brightest one yet! ... Kids? ... Kids?" Crowley looks in his rearview mirror and scowls. "Oi! When did the little buggers fall asleep?" 

Aziraphale turns away from his window and the house beyond covered in every twinkle light available on the Eastern Seaboard (he suspects) and gives Crowley a confused look. Then, remembering that they aren't alone in Crowley's Bentley, he peeks over at the seat behind them, where five children snore softly, heads leaning on shoulders, fast asleep. "About five houses ago, I believe? Give or take? That's the last time I heard any ooo'ing or ahh'ing."

"Which house was that?"

"The one with the nativity scene made up of inflatable dragons breathing fire and wearing Santa caps."

Crowley's brow draws together as he tries to recall. "Oh, yeah. Right." He looks over his shoulder so he can see the pile of children properly: Warlock dressed in his stiff new Christmas suit, Adam a bit less formal in khakis and a pale blue polo, the rest of The Them a hodgepodge of wrinkled trousers, thick-soled shoes, and shirts of various fit alongside Pepper's red velvet gown, which her parents forced her to wear (a fact she stated numerous times throughout the evening) and which she accessorized with a faux leather jacket and a bulky pair of Doc Martens. "What's the deal with them knocking out so early? They're kids! They're supposed to be boundless founts of energy, aren't they?"

"Early? It's close to one in the morning!"

"Yes, but if you take into consideration the clan of gingerbread people they decimated, then washed down with a gallon of cocoa, they should be bouncing off the ceiling! We've been out for, what? An hour? Two?"

"Try four," Aziraphale says, checking his watch to be sure. "Did you have to miracle us all the way to the states?"

"Yes," Crowley says definitively. "They do Christmas a little differently out here. Bigger. More grandiose."

"That's an understatement," Aziraphale mutters as they pass a house so festooned with lights and animatronic creatures, he can't see the structure they're affixed to. "As is, I'm not sure how exactly you're getting away with miracling the lot of us abroad."

"When Hell finds out I used my magic to take five children across borders without passports, they'll be ecstatic!"

"But will Warlock's parents? Or Adam's?"

"Who's going to tell them?" Crowley shoots his angel a significant look, but Aziraphale matches it, arms crossed over his chest, glaring sternly, and Crowley backs down. "Look, their parents ditched them with us so that they could go off drinking and regaling and having a good time."

"Ditched them?" Aziraphale chuckles at Crowley's skewed point of view. "We offered!"

"And we promised these kids a good time!"

"You definitely delivered," Aziraphale says, smiling at his memories of their night: the snowball fight that ended with them crashing an outdoor service; the horde of snow zombies they built in the yards of a quiet and unsuspecting neighborhood; the hills they zipped down using trashcan lids as sleighs. Aziraphale was horrified by most of these to begin with, but that didn't last. Not when he saw how thoroughly the children enjoyed themselves. 

Crowley, too. 

But driving around, looking at lights? That was an unexpectedly tame suggestion. And Crowley was rather insistent. "But why did you want us to see Christmas lights?"

"Because it's important."

"How?"

"This is the only time of year you get to see this," Crowley explains, gesturing vaguely.

"And what's that? Enough wattage to coax down passing aircraft? Or are you perhaps referring to the eight-foot Santa mooning passersby?"

"No," Crowley replies. But that Santa was hilarious! The children spotted him from miles away and made Crowley drive over. They spent a good fifteen minutes pointing and laughing, making the kinds of off-colored jokes that make parents shush! But more hilarious was his angel's scandalized reaction - his dramatic tut, followed by an even more dramatic, "God Lord." "Humanity." Crowley sighs. "I know I talk a lot about Christmas becoming vulgar and over-commercialized. And come the day after, it'll be back to the business of not giving a shite about their fellow man, trampling each other in the shops to get the most ridiculous garbage at seventy-five percent off ..."

"Something you earned a commendation for, if I recall," Aziraphale points out.

"... but when humans light their houses like this, invite their neighbors to gather 'round, they're saying 'All are welcome! Stop on by! Let's celebrate together!'"

"To me, it's more like they're saying, 'Look at me! Look at all of this useless bother I own! Who cares that I'm diverting migratory birds from their destinations? Astronauts can see my house from space!'"

"Agree to disagree then," Crowley grumbles, then goes silent, and Aziraphale knows he's teased one step too far.

"The children falling asleep will make it easier to transport them," Aziraphale says, easing into a new subject until he can think of a way to apologize. "We can miracle them into their beds when we get back to the Dowling's. Then we can do a little regaling of our own."

Crowley grins. He can't stay stung by his angel forever. He's just too sentimental tonight to have a sense of humor. "Sounds about perfect. Been a while since I've done any regaling."

"Tonight's as good a time as any to start."

Crowley turns down a street with fewer lights and no neighbors milling about, preparing to snap them back to London. "Which house was your favorite?"

"Oh, none of these," Aziraphale says snobbishly. "I'm not the biggest fan of modern-day extravagance. I would have to say my favorite out of all the displays was that abbey down by the river: fairy lights reflecting off the water; tasteful nativity out front; evergreen trimmed with simple decorations - wooden star atop, red velvet bows, paper angels ..."

"Leave it to you to choose the one holy place we found, and only because we took a wrong turn."

Aziraphale wiggles happily in his seat. "You know what they say - there are no accidents."

"Yup. And four rights make a left."

Aziraphale pulls a face. "I ... don't think that's correct ..."

"Don't matter." Crowley turns in his seat, looks at his angel. "Do you wanna see my favorite?"

Aziraphale smiles, all thoughts of turns shelved for the moment. "Of course." "Alright. It's back in our neck of the woods, so hold on tight."

Aziraphale reaches to the side, takes Crowley's free hand in his, gives it a squeeze. "Ready."

Crowley snaps his fingers. 

For a single second, the world stops. 

A bright light surrounds the Bentley, engulfs it in its brilliance. In the amount of time it takes for Crowley's fingers to slide across one another, they're home. 

Aziraphale blinks, looks about as his eyes adjust to the lower light. He expected to see a house pulsating with a glow equal to a thousand suns outside his window, maybe with Virgin Mary riding a motorbike behind the abominable snowman while the angel Gabriel wrestles an alligator. But the shapes around him are familiar. His brow wrinkles as he tries to understand what he's seeing. They're not just back in London, they're in Soho.

Right outside his shop. 

"Which one is it?" Aziraphale looks up and down the block at darkened storefronts, most of them as frugally adorned as his own - a rope of garland, a wreath, a silver bell or two, but nothing special. Nothing noteworthy. Nothing even close to the houses they spent the night ogling. 

"This one right here." Crowley points past Aziraphale toward a set of wooden double doors.

Aziraphale frowns. "But ... that's my bookshop."

"A-ha."

"I didn't do much in the way of decorating."

"I know."

"And I don't like when people stop in, so it's not as if I'm encouraging my neighbors to gather."

"Know that, too."

"So, why is it your favorite?"

"Because ..." Crowley scoots across the seat, puts an arm around Aziraphale's shoulders "... it's home."

"You consider a dusty old bookshop home? When you own that mansion of a flat in Mayfair?"

"You consider the bookshop your home, don't you?"

"Yes, but that's because my books are there, my liquor cabinet, my snuff boxes - everything I'm fond of. Everything I adore."

"What a coincidence. Because everything I'm fond of ... everything I adore ... is at your shop."

"And what would that be?" Aziraphale asks sarcastically. "My bottle of Hennessy Paradis Imperial?"

"No. You, you pair of walnuts," a grumpy Warlock responds in Crowley's stead.  

Crowley glares at his young charge over his shoulder. "Rude."

"Look, could you guys take us home first and then make out?" Adam asks.

"Yeah," Pepper agrees. "My entire body is numb except for my right eyelid."

"Plus, listening to adults flirt kind of grosses me out," Brian adds, the rest mumbling in agreement.

"Alright, alright," Crowley growls, sliding back into his seat and putting the car into drive. "We'll drive you ankle-biters home, and then ..."

"We regale! Which I'm confident will include plenty of 'making out'? Right, my dear?"

"Absolutely," Crowley says with a smirk. Aziraphale snorts when their cluster of pre-teens groan.

"I think we're making them uncomfortable, angel." 

"Serves them right," Aziraphale says, straightening in his seat. "I could have happily gone on for another six thousand years without seeing Santa Claus's rear end. Vengeance is mine."

#good omens secret santa #good omens #good omens fanfiction #ineffable husbands #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley

[ljf613]

So could you please explain Sessrin to me? I'm not in the fandom nor have I watched the show but from what little I've been told the antis (as usual) have completely mischaracterized the whole thing.

P. S. Can we please ban grooming from the fandom lexicon? It lacks semantic meaning other than age gap bad.

Well, it’s been a while since I last saw/read Inuyasha, and I’m super-behind on Yashahime, but I do love SessRin and am pretty bummed about the amount of hate this ship has been getting lately, so I’m going to do my best to share why I love these two so much. 

First off, anyone who uses the word ‘grooming’ either doesn’t know what that word means, or was not seeing the same story I was. The definition of grooming is “befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child, and sometimes the family, to lower the child's inhibitions with the objective of sexual abuse.” This never happened. Sesshomaru did not look at this traumatiized child and go “hmm, how I can I best get her to trust me so that I can convince her to sleep with me” or whatever-- in fact, a large part of their dynamic is Rin choosing, over and over, to stand by him even as he is actively trying to push her away. (And considering that I suspect many of these antis are also Sesshomaru fans, the fact that they’re so quick to launch such a serious and out-of-character accusation at him is rather strange.) 

Here’s their story in a nutshell (and, again, I may be slightly misremembering details, it’s been a while): Rin, whose entire family was slaughtered by human bandits, comes across Sesshomaru in the woods and is initially terrified because, you know, demon. However, despite her fear, she realizes that he’s been injured and incapacitated, and does her best to try and help him (cleaning his wounds, getting him food and water, etc).  Sesshomaru, who, up until this point, has been a fairly typical demonic antagonist with your standard mindset of, “humans are stupid, selfish, and weak,” is understandably bewildered by this, and tries to scare her off. It doesn’t really work. This goes on for some time. (Several days? Weeks? IDEK.)  One day, after Rin returns to her village, a tribe of demons arrives and kills everyone. Rin tries to run back to the woods and escape, but the demons eventually catch and kill her. Sesshomaru finds her body, and, for some reason even he doesn’t understand, decides to use his magic sword that brings people back from the dead (yes he has one of those) to revive her. (This is significant because up until this point he has never even used the sword, as he hated the fact that he’d gotten the stupid healing sword while his little brother got the cool, killing sword.)  And Rin, who has no one left and no home to go back to, decides to travel with him.  (One of the interesting things here is that, despite the fact that she was killed by demons, Rin is actually more afraid of humans, because they’re the ones who murdered her family.) 

Their relationship throughout the course of the story is fascinating. At first glance, it might seem like Sesshomaru is always the one saving her, but she saves him too. Rin forced him to acknowledge that the world wasn’t black-and-white, that humans were complex, that just because he didn’t like someone or something didn’t mean it didn’t have a right to exist. Sesshomaru’s arc is subtle, but by the end of the story, he’s fighting side by side with the heroes-- something that would never have happened if he hadn’t met Rin. 

Now, the thing here is that, for most of the story Rin is eight years old. Their relationship is never, ever shown as sexual, but there’s clearly love there, and the implication the story ends with is that they will likely get together once Rin is older. I’ve heard antis say that they read the relationship as being more along the lines of “Sesshomaru ‘adopts’ Rin,” which explains a lot. However, I personally never saw it that way. They were partners-- just because Rin didn’t take out a sword and fight off anyone who tried to hurt Sesshomaru doesn’t mean she she was primarily on the receiving end of the relationship.  (In a story about battling evil, where nearly all of the characters are these awesome fighters, it’s pretty cool to see a character who is not a warrior, who just gives and loves and trusts and cares, and is never treated as lesser by either the characters or the narrative because of this. I really love Rin.) I think it’s a cultural thing-- people are used to the narrative of ‘coldhearted bachelor meets and adopts lovable scamp who reminds him how to love again’ and are primed to see it even in a story from an entirely different culture set five hundred years in the past. 

(Part of it is also about shipping wars-- many of the antis ship Sesshomaru with other characters, particularly Kagura, and would rather make the argument about morality versus just saying that they would prefer something a little different.) 

Here’s where I admit it gets a little bit sticky: How much of this is Rin just imprinting on Sesshomaru and using him as an excuse to avoid her trauma surrounding other humans?  And the narrative did a great job of resolving this dilemma. Near the end of the story, Rin leaves Sesshomaru. She goes to live among humans, to learn how to be human again, so that once she’s an adult, she has the agency to make an informed decision about what she really wants. 

There happens to be an audio-drama CD that was released in Japan sometime after the show ended, which is set just after the original story ends (when Rin is eleven). In it, Sesshomaru says something to Rin which is referred to by one of the other characters as a ‘proposal.’ Now, I don’t follow anti discourse, so I’m not sure if they know about it, but I can imagine they’d have a field day with that one. “Omigoodness, he proposed to an eleven year old, that’s so creepy.”  However, there’s some context involved. The word ‘proposal’ is used by one of the other characters-- who happens to have time-travelled from five hundred years later (that is, the present day). The whole plot of the CD starts when she complains to her husband/lover/whatever-their-relationship-status-is-supposed-to-be that he never actually proposed to her, and since he doesn’t know what a proposal is (because, again, culture gap), he thinks it’s some sort of monster she wants him to go fight for her before they can actually be married, and hilaraity ensues. She calls Sesshomaru’s words to Rin a proposal as in “see, that’s what a proposal is supposed to look like.” It has very little to do with SessRin in and of themselves. 

For reference, here’s what Sesshomaru actually said in this so-called ‘proposal’ (thanks to @inu-drama for the translation): 

“Rin, have you grown accustomed to life in the village?  No one is bullying you or anything?  Did you make a kimono out of the cloth I gave you the other day?  When you are troubled, or anxious, or sad, or any other time, feel free to call on me.  I will come to you immediately.  Even if we are far apart, if you call my name I will absolutely come flying to you.  If you cannot speak, you can whistle. Whistle through your fingers, if you like.  Distance is no object. Our hearts are tied together.  With the power of trust, there is nothing to fear.  Simply having that feeling should be enough to fill your heart.  That is why it is fine for things to remain as they are for now.  We have plenty of time.  You can examine your heart at your own pace.  Until then, take care of yourself.” 

(Is there something inherently creepy or predatory about that?) 

To me, SessRin is about love, in its purest form. It’s about believing in someone when the rest of the world is against them. It’s about choosing the person who chooses you. It’s about learning and growing and changing together. 

What’s that quote-- I think it was from Dawson’s Creek or something?  “What's a soulmate?” “It's uh... Well, it's like a best friend but more. It's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It's someone who makes you a better person. Actually, they don't make you a better person, you do that yourself - because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever. It's the one person who knew you and accepted you and believed in you before anyone else did, or when no one else would. And no matter what happens, you will always love them. Nothing can ever change that.” Yeah, that one. That’s what SessRin is about. 

#inuyasha #thoughts #sessxrin #sesshomaru #rin #anti anti #love is a choice #otp: nothing was worth losing her

[outthefryingpan]

Your writing is amazing ! I'm a sucker for fluff personally,, so if I have to suggest something,, it'd be cuddles. Just cuddling after a long,, busy day. Maybe in Winter,, a specially cold day,, those are the best days for cuddling,, and more so if it's with such a hot (pfft) monster like Grillby ! Just giving ideas,, I'll be happily reading anything you update here next. Have a nice day. :)

Cold Nights

Pairing: Grillby/Reader

Rating: Everyone

Notes: I’m a sucker for that too! I very much enjoy this suggestion, thank you! Send more any time u like :^> This is set on the surface! Most of the pieces I write will be set this way unless stated otherwise.

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You can’t believe how late it is when you finally begin walking home. Pulling your phone out and pressing the home button tells you it’s only a few minutes away from midnight. Your feet ache, and you want nothing more than to just crawl into bed.

Luckily for you, it isn’t a long walk to Grillby’s from where you are, maybe a little over 5 minutes, but you really hadn’t anticipated it being this cold and blustery out. Then again, you didn’t anticipate your boss holding you back as late as she did either, so you use that as your excuse for being jacket-less. In reality, it probably wouldn’t have been much warmer out even if you did leave on time, but you’re just going to ignore that. You unceremoniously shove your phone back into your pocket and quicken your pace, holding your hands together in an attempt to conserve some of your already waning warmth. 

In hopes of distraction, you let your mind begin to wander. Initially your prerogative is “think warm thoughts”, but of course that only leads you to thinking of Grillby. It’s inevitable. He’s the warmest thing you can think of.

You think back to when he first opened up his bar on the surface, and how he would stay open all night, every night. The new influx of customers quickly overwhelmed him, and so he changed his hours to accommodate a new goal of his, one he’d adopted upon reaching the surface. He called it the, “not work myself to death” rule. You, nothing more than a new friend at the time, had laughed at that. It was one of the first jokes he’d made around you. You laugh again now, thinking about how horrible a job he’s done in sticking to his goal. Maybe it’s just unrealistic for him, you muse.

No, that isn’t fair. He drastically changed his hours when he first got here. Underground, he’d been open every day from noon to 3AM. How he’d managed a 15 hour work day every single day all by himself was absolutely beyond you, but he told you that down there, he really didn’t have much else to do. 

In a more private setting, after the two of you had grown closer, he confessed that when he lived underground, he felt a sense of obligation to be open as often as possible, to act as a sort of home base for those monsters who were struggling, or just needed someone to help stave off their loneliness. 

Here on the surface, things are better! But they’re a lot different too, a lot busier. And so, with some kind pushing from his friends, he had ultimately decided not only to tighten his hours, but to hire some help as well.

You consider that to be the start of a deeper relationship blossoming between the two of you. You had offered to wash dishes and help with cleanup, and he gratefully accepted. You started talking more, spending more time together, and... The rest is history, you suppose. 

Now, he takes Sundays off, and closes at 10PM on Mondays. His daily hours are still pretty packed, but he has more servers and kitchen staff to help out with them. 

Suddenly, you blink in surprise at yourself as that reminds you of something.

Today’s Monday! That means he should have closed a while ago! 

You sent him a text earlier when you found out you would be late home and told him not to worry, but you totally forgot that it was possible for you to end up working later than him. That is a rare occurrence. 

Well then! 

You become excited at your findings, but quickly realize they mean that he may be sleeping. Rats... You need to be quiet coming in, then.

A chatter sounds in your skull just as the bar comes into view. It isn’t quite snowing out, but the biting, billowing wind is strong enough to drain most of the heat from you. Your fingers feel numb as they blindly wiggle around in your pocket, looking for your keys even though you’re still a little ways away from the front door. By the time you reach it, you’re putting in a pretty significant amount of effort to minimize your shivering and get it unlocked. It’s situations like these that make you thankful to only have a few separate keys to keep track of on your key ring.

The door itself is pretty new, but still creaks lightly as you push it open. Then, you almost lose your grip on the knob when a particularly strong gust of wind shoves you in through the front door. You stumble forward. 

Startled as you are, it doesn’t take you long to recover, close the door firmly behind you, and lock it with a huff. You’re just glad no one is around to have seen your little blunder. Hand still on the door, you sigh out your relief. Grillby would definitely be alerted by the door swinging open and slamming into the wall. He’d be alerted if you face-planted into the hardwood flooring, too. 

After taking a moment to smooth yourself out and appreciate the internal temperature of the bar, you glance around the dark room. As you expected, tables and chairs are neat, lights are off, and not a speck of dust can be seen. Sometimes you wonder if Grillby gets off on extreme cleaning. You snicker quietly to yourself.

The rise in temperature is great compared to the freezing nightmare you’d endured outside, but it isn’t anywhere near enough to stop your shivering. So you beeline for the staircase that leads to Grillby’s apartment- or more accurately, your ticket to comfort. It’s a little hard to see, and you nearly trip once on the way up, but the reward you’re met with upon entering is well worth it.

Instantly, you’re flushed with a wave of warmth.

Grillby sits on the couch in the living room that faces the door, knuckle pressed to the side of his mouth and book in hand. Your entrance alerts him, and his head turns up so his eyes can meet yours. They look tired. Yours do too.

He can see you shivering still, and it makes him frown. However, the beginning of a small smile finds its way onto his face when he lifts a hand and waves you over. Both of you know what comes next. You step toward him eagerly. 

Without a word spoken between the two of you, he places the thick, old looking novel down on the table in front of him, and opens himself up to you. Rather than sitting next to him like he had expected, you opt for plopping down directly in his lap, arms around his shoulders and legs on either side of him. He lets out a surprised grunt, but it quickly dissolves into a chuckle as his arms find their way around your midsection. You relish in the warmth they offer.

“You’re cold.” He starts.

“You’re warm.” You reply, though it’s muffled by the fabric of his thin shirt. He hears you despite this, and a fiery brow quirks up. 

“Aren’t I always?” Grillby asks. You can hear the teasing smile in his voice, but nod against him regardless. Thanks to him, you can feel your shivers mostly subside.

“Yea, but I especially appreciate it when it’s freezing out.” Comes your voice once more. Sighing, you feel his arm begin to rub slowly up and down your back, a soothing, sweeping motion that transfers his heat to you even faster. Suddenly comfortable, you’re reminded of how totally exhausted you are.

“I always tell you to bring a coat.” He tries for a chastising tone, but can’t help that it comes out as soft as it does. His voice is just a mumble now, reaching your ears easily despite its low volume. This is in part because he’s taken the liberty of placing his cheek against your head.

“Heh..Yeah...” You concede, burrowing your face further into him. It’s a long moment before you speak again. “I didn’t think you’d be up. Aren’t you tired?” At this question you look up at him as much as your current position will allow, cheek still smooshed into his shoulder.

His response is low, and doesn’t come immediately, which kind of gives you an answer in itself: Yes.

“Mm... I am..” He confirms your suspicion. A little more quietly, he continues. “But you were still out, and...” The elemental’s head lazily tilts, and the flames constantly spiraling off of it follow the movement. You catch him glance out the window. As if wanting to help illustrate his point, another forceful gust of wind rattles it just slightly.

A little guilt twists your stomach. He always worries, and you should have known he would be waiting. You should’ve fought harder to leave on time. You expect he’s going to finish the thought, but you already know where he’s headed, so you preempt him.

“You didn’t need to wait up for me...” You say softly. 

The response you get is hushed, but still quite matter-of-fact.

“I did. I wanted to. ...I like going to bed with you.” His tone is so simple, so casual, so... sweet. He’s just speaking honestly, yet it affects you so much. The guilt you feel morphs into adoration, and the feeling makes you grin. You’re sure he can feel it against him, but duck your head back down anyway.

“OK.” Your voice is muffled once more. But the smile in it is audible. A short, breathy hum escapes him, the sound like a sleepy little laugh.

The two of you stay like that for a few minutes, wrapped up in each other. The calm rise and fall of his chest slows further, and the surrounding blanket of his warmth cradles you softly. 

You don’t want to, but you eventually have to turn your face to the side. As comfy as he is, it’s a little hard to breathe that way. This movement seems to take him a bit off guard, and rouses him from a drowsiness he’d almost let get the better of him. You feel and hear the deep breath he sucks in as he shifts, bringing himself back off the brink of sleep. He props himself back up against the couch, holding you still as he does. You let out a large yawn, and gently pat his back.

“OK...Time for bed?” You ask quietly. In his sleep-addled state, he can only nod. Without another word, arms around your middle become hands on your waist, and he lifts you off of him and gently places you on the cushion next to him. Slowly he stands, stretching. His flames crackle and pop with the action, and once he’s satisfied he lets out the breath he’d been holding and turns to you with a bright orange hand extended.

For a moment, you consider asking him to carry you. You’re exhausted! But another look at his slightly lopsided posture and barely open eyes reminds you he’s right there with you. So you make do with just grabbing his hand and using it to help pull yourself up. Once you’re on your feet, you two begin a slow stroll to your shared bedroom, and step inside. 

The blinds are drawn, so the only light permeating the darkness you stumble around in to change is Grillby himself. You end up in just your underwear and a big T shirt. Following your lead, he removes his own top and bottoms, leaving himself only in his briefs. 

It’s only about 45 seconds after you enter the room that both of you are crashing into bed. You simply let yourself fall face first. He as usual is a little more graceful about things, gently lifting the covers for himself, and helping you work your way under them too. Your tired body sings in relief as you sink into the mattress, your back to the flaming monster beside you.

Unsatisfied with this, you fight the sleep off for a little longer to wiggle a bit. A questioning hum leaves him, and by the sound of it, he’s working pretty hard to stay awake too. You turn under the covers, trying not to muss them too much and he seems to get the idea. Warm hands land on your sides again as he helps you turn toward him, eager to pull you closer. 

It’s a little brighter when you face him, but that’s never bothered you. Especially not when you’re this worn out. He sighs happily at this change, and his arms circle tightly around you, a hand finding the back of your head and threading itself through your hair. 

His digits comb against your scalp ever so gently, drawing a pleased hum from your closed lips. Not many people know (because how could they? He certainly isn’t going around talking about it), but Grillby is quite a physical being. He had some old hang ups that made it hard for him to embrace that about himself at first, and is polite and accommodating to a fault sometimes, but once you’d made him comfortable enough he gave in to his desire to hold you more often, and hold you closely. 

Once again, you thank the fucking stars for that. Especially on nights like these. Gone is any trace of the icy chill that consumed you earlier. 

Without missing a beat, you place your own hands on his broad back, now giving him the same treatment you had received earlier. He’s larger than you, as most monsters tend to be, but it doesn’t hinder your efforts to gently rub your arm up and down along his spine, fingers only deftly making contact. The hand not doing this splays out across his shoulder blade, then creeps up to rest on the point where his shoulder meets his neck. It wouldn’t be long now for either of you. Your eyelids close, but he looks down at your calm form for a little longer. 

A murmured utterance of your name grips the last inklings of your attention. Your eyes slowly drag themselves open again, and a drowsy, “Hmn..?” escapes you. His voice is almost a whisper when he speaks, leaning down so his mouth is closer to your head.

“I love you...” Grillby breathes out. You smile, and lightly kiss whatever of his skin is closest to your lips. That turns out to be a spot on his chest, right under his collar. There’s a small smooching sound as you pull back.

“...Love you too.” You exhale against him. With the last of his effort, he throws a leg over yours, crooking it to bring you closer still, and fully embrace you.

Those are the last words spoken that night. All that follows is the dull crackling of flames and the soft sound of breathing as you both allow your bodies the rest they’ve been aching for.

#Grillby/Reader #Grillby x Reader #grillby #undertale grillby #undertale #Undertale x reader #Undertale/reader #undertale imagines #imagine undertale #Reader-insert #Yaaaayyy I had fun with this one woohoo #First suggestion! #Thank you!!! #hehehehehe

[arrtemisia]

Hey so... If you could redo cannon Makoto what would you do? How would she change? I'm curious cause out of the main cast she was the only one that I just couldn't get a solid interest in (aside from Ann but that's just cause the idea of her being a fashion model confuses me more than anything I think)

God. So much stuff.

There's a couple big things about her that bug me, and none of them really change at all in her canon vs fanon portrayal, which means it's hard for me to enjoy her even in fanworks. In my opinion, I think her biggest flaw is that she's simply miscast, and her character would have worked much better as a confidant instead of a thief, which would've given her a place of her own to shine and avoid the weird dissonance between different aspects of her character (and this was actually their original plan, so Hifumi would have taken her place which. She would've fit in much better imo bc she's actually suffered under another's will like every single one of the others and she's an actual strategist instead of just """smart,""' but that's a topic for another post), but since we're talking about how I'd personally fix Makoto in the role she currently fills, I'm going to list some of the issues I take with her and potential solutions.

First of all, just to get it out of the way, she needs an actual reason to be here. She doesn't have one, full stop.

The big thing tying the thieves together is that they're all victims of abuse and oppression who rebel against their tormentors and want to prevent anyone else from suffering like they did. I'm not saying Makoto has never struggled, because she has, but it's really, really not the same type of struggle.

This leads to weird moments where everything about Makoto's personality and characterization, such as being a stickler for the rules, idolizing the police, etc mean that she has no in-character reason to stick with the thieves after kaneshiro is dealt with and should maybe even be opposing the thieves' way of doing things, but the plot drags her along anyway because the game really wants her to be a party member. And really, what's up with her awakening? She gets threatened once and then bang-boom-kapow she has a persona? It's weak.

Also before anyone says "well all those things about her personality change when she awakens and she sheds her good girl personality and yada yada," no she doesn't, actually, and I'm getting there I promise

The easiest solution here is also the most drastic. Swap when Makoto and Akechi join. This kills two birds with one stone; Makoto gets an actual reason to awaken through Sae, and Akechi's betrayal hits harder because he's pretending to be with you for longer (although admittedly this is much less needed on Akechi's part ever since royal).

Not only does this give Makoto a much stronger reason to awaken and join in the first place (Sae starts twisting into something horrible and Makoto wants to help both stop and save her), but it also gives her an internally consistent reason to stick around. Before, unlike the others (who all at least have "I want to stop others from feeling like I did," or in Futaba's case, "I wanna find the ppl who killed my mom."), once Kaneshiro is done with, Makoto has no real big personal reason to stick around other than "I'm a thief now and the plot says so ig." Now, of COURSE she'd want to go after Shido because he's the one that was manipulating her sister, and after that of COURSE she'd want to help take down mr divine sippy cup in order to get Shido tried and jailed.

However, if we're not going to shuffle around the order of party members bc that'd nuke the canon plot a little, then we need to rework the entire Kaneshiro arc and/or Makoto's backstory and values as a whole. Yeah this is why the first solution was the easy one.

I'm going to go in-depth about how I feel Makoto's personality and values should be reworked later I'M GETTING THERE, so I'll talk about that then. As for reworking Kaneshiro, I... don't have a whole lot of ideas. The palace itself is fine, it has one of the coolest atmospheres in the game (c'mon, there's got to be a fun bank heist in a game like this), but Makoto's connection with him is very weak. Maybe have it be that he was extorting her for years in secret and she never said anything? Maybe have him be the one that ordered the hit on her father? I'm not sure what would be strong enough to match to the other palace leaders, without feeling forced. I'll have to come up with more ideas for this one.

The second big issue I have with her is less of one specific thing and more of a collection of smaller problems that all come from the same source. She waltzes in, takes over, and starts acting like she's the boss of things. She then names herself the "strategist" and yet only ever states the obvious and, to use a word I hate, mansplains things to you that you already learned two palaces ago. She's constantly condescending and passive agressive to the other team members, especially Ann and Ryuji, berates everyone for not being as naturally book smart as her when all the other characters are smart in their own ways and just not good at academia, all the while everyone around her, even characters that normally wouldn't take that (ryuji, ann) or are too prideful to admit to anyone bring better (mona), are constantly like "You're so cool, Makoto!"

It's a classic case of show don't tell, and rhe game is obsessed with telling you that Makoto is "smart" and "cool." Once she joins the team, all the characters that were originally shown to be smart in their own ways are never allowed to say anything meaningful ever again bc Makoto is the "smart" one. She never does anything particularly different compared to the other party members, but the game is constantly insisting she's special.

I'm very hesitant to call her a mary sue, because I don't think she is one, and also I disagree with the use of that term at all as these days it's just meant to devalue powerful characters that happen to be girls, but I definitely think she's emblematic of a common writing flaw that can lead to mary sues. The problem with making a character the "smart" one as a personality trait instead of something that just comes naturally is that you have to dumb down everyone else's characterization to make them look smarter or cooler by comparison. It means that the character you're trying to prop up bends everyone else around them, making them act in ways they normally wouldn't in order to make the one character you're trying to look cool seem better by comparison.

This has an easy solution: cut that shit out. Have her slowly find her place on the team naturally instead of forcing her way in as a pseudo-leader. Don't give every single "well, duh" line to her, and cut the scenes where she stands around explaining obvious things you already know in a condescending manner so she looks smarter. Let the other characters actually act like themselves when they're in the same room as her instead of bending around her to prop her up. Have her treat those characters with respect in turn, bc for all intents and purposes when it comes to thief stuff they are her senpai, instead of just having her act like she's better than them, or boss them around, or be passive agressive about the fact that their grades are bad. Show that other characters are smart in other ways instead of acting like Makoto's book smarts are the end-all be-all. And for fuck's sake, stop acting like "smart" and "punches stuff real good" are personality traits, which leads me into my last big point.

Makoto and Queen don't really feel like the same character. Okay, so to explain this, let's walk through her awakening again.

Makoto is a good girl who's a stickler for the rules, sucks up to authority, idolizes the police, is obsessed with her grades and academic performance, and looks down on others who don't do the same. A couple people call her useless and then she gets threatened by a mob boss, after which she decides to live her life for herself and completely shed her good girl lifestyle and rebel against everyone pressuring her.

That is, except for the teensy tiny detail where she doesn't.

Nothing significant about her personality changes all post her awakening and joining the thieves, aside from the part where she sucks up to authority maybe a little less. She's still uptight, her grades (and the grades of those on her team) are still her top priority, she still idolizes the law and those enforcing it.

Y'see, persona has a bit of a common problem with saying one thing about a character, be it making a reveal or saying they're gonna change in some big way, but not fully committing to it. You can see it most in p4 (party members saying they're gonna quit/stop/do whatever and then backtracking in the last two ranks of their social link), but it's rarely so severe that it completely ruins their personality and character arc as a whole. Makoto, I feel, is the main exception.

The writers want Makoto to become this tough, rebellious biker queen who oozes badassery in every move and will never follow anyone's wishes for her ever again, but they also want to keep her old personality of the uptight naive rule-following law-abiding academic. So, instead of altering one to better fit the other, they try to do both... badly.

Instead of integrating the two parts of her personality, it just feels like she swaps between them whenever the plot calls for it which is really, really jarring. She'll be stuttering about following the rules and getting to know her generation one second, and then the next she'll be yelling about mowing down shadows with her motorcyle the next. It feels like Queen and Makoto are two separate uninteresting half-characters, with only a couple personality traits each, instead of one whole well-rounded character.

Either rework Makoto's thief aesthetic to better suit her personality as a whole and give her something other than "I'm totally not a good girl anymore" to make her compelling, or actually commit to Makoto shedding her past life everyone around her had forced on her and change her personality. Have her grades start to slip, have her talk back to Sae, change the way she dresses so it's rougher and less perfect, hell, maybe even have her quit student council. Just, anything to make her more well-rounded as a character.

I have some other nitpicks with her here and there, like the fact that her confidant is actually just Eiko's confidant and doesn't give Makoto herself any development, or the way the game keeps trying to set her up as Joker's waifu or whatever, but those are just that; nitpicks. The three big things I mentioned earlier - her not having a compelling personal reason to be a part of the thieves, the way the writers shove her into the spotlight by putting down everyone around her, and the fact that her characterization is just one badass half and one smart half that don't mesh and have little else in between - are the problems I feel are what's actually holding her character back.

Again, I do think that all of this stems from the fact that she's miscast, but it's too late to fix that now. While I personally really dislike Makoto, I do kind of understand her appeal for others when she's written well, and she's a totally valid character to like. I just wish she was portrayed better.

(Also, if anyone wants to reblog this, feel free I ask that you please don't put this in Makoto's main character tag. I know how much it sucks to get a bunch of negativity in a character's main tags as I am an Edelgard fe3h fan)

#mod answers stuff #long post #really really long post #defiant-firefly #yeah so i know u were probably wanting just. a quick sum up #but i might have just. written an essay. whoops #sorry lol #there's just so much abt her that drives me up the wall

[gffa]

so i was just thinking about star wars (as you do) and i realized... do the jedi (the survivors, that is) and in general the people ever actually all find out that the clones like... had no choice with order 66? i know a few jedi learn about it, but like, is it ever made public in the aftermath of the empire's defeat? 5 years after the massacre (while the empire still exists) cal kestis still believes the clones betrayed them. i'm assuming later the resistance learns some of it through rex? hmmm

I DON’T THINK THEY DO.  Some of them learn the truth–Kanan seems to know, we know Ferren Barr knew, Rex and Gregor and Wolffe knew–but it seems like the galaxy in general didn’t.While it’s possible that it may eventually come to light–it would be very easy to slide in somewhere that Luke or Leia told people the truth, along the lines of that’s my headcanon for how everyone knew Palpatine was a Sith Lord by the time of the sequels–we have evidence that the wider galaxy definitely didn’t know.In Force Collector (set sometime close-ish to The Force Awakens), Karr Nuq Sin goes on a journey to discover the truth, which is difficult because most people don’t really even know the Jedi existed as anything significant (if they believe they existed at all) and Palpatine’s propaganda is still in full effect in many places, like when they go talk to the son of a clone who died during the war, he believes everything that Palpatine said about them:

      Karr beamed. Leaving Merokia was already proving helpful. “Then if your dad was a clone trooper, you must know about the Jedi,” he prompted.      Sconto’s expression fell. A blank look replaced his wide smile.      Karr could see Maize was about to laugh, thinking she had found someone who shared her disbelief, until she noticed that all the good humor had gone out of the room.      “Don’t talk to me about Jedi,” Sconto said, his cheery demeanor taking on a hardened tone.      Karr chided himself for being so carefree about his quest. He forgot that the galaxy was a big place filled with big opinions, and many didn’t line up with his way of thinking. “I’m only asking as a history buff. I’m trying to find—”      But the man cut him off. “My father was killed in those wars. Gone before I ever met him. And I don’t think I need to tell you who I hold responsible?”      “The Jedi,” Arzee said enthusiastically, as if answering a bit of trivia. Karr winced, wishing he had programmed the droid to understand when a question was rhetorical.      “War is an ugly thing,” Sconto continued. “Both sides think they’re right, and many lives are lost because of it. You can’t argue with fighting for what you believe in, but…” He paused as if he was tempering his anger again. “Betrayal,” he bellowed. “To turn on your fellow soldiers in arms, to cheat and strike like cowards! That’s just…” He searched for the worst word he could think of.  “Disgraceful.” Then he spit on the ground as if the word wasn’t enough.      Everyone was a little dumbstruck, but Maize couldn’t help breaking the silence.      “The Jedi really existed?”      “Absolutely,” he said with bitterness. “There were tons of them. But now they’re all gone. Of course, their legend has grown beyond their power by now. It happens that way sometimes, with heroes and villains alike. The truth is never as simple as it seems, in history books or anyplace else. The Jedi were a bunch of power-hungry renegades, a few of whom might have had some sort of abilities.” He waved a hand dismissively. “But at the end of the day, they were violent traitors, and the clones were right to put them down.”

He thinks that the Jedi were the ones to turn on the clones, that they were the traitors, and the clones chose to put them down.  (Which is really painful because he’s actually describing much closer to what happened to the Jedi, that Palpatine forced the clones to cheat and strike at their backs like a coward, never even realizing that the clones weren’t given any choice in this.)Karr’s great-grandfather (a Jedi who left when he was a Padawan) also believed the propaganda about them and it was up to Karr to have to tell him the truth (who had discovered it through his psychometric abilities) and he was devastated to learn about it.  That’s how deeply Palpatine’s propaganda was sold across the galaxy.

      RZ-7 agreed, as gently as he could. “Sir, you took such noble measures to protect your family—and those measures were successful. But there was no need to turn your back on the Jedi. They never turned their back on the Republic. Or you.”      Naq Med sank slowly to the floor. His grip on the can he used for a cup loosened, and it fell—spilling its contents across the rug. “But if that’s true, it was all for nothing. The Grand Inquisitor…?” he asked of anyone who might answer. Karr said, “A pawn of the Emperor. He turned on his own kind.” He paused. In the back of his head, an idea gelled. He spoke slowly, putting the words in order as they occurred to him. “The dark side won. The bad guys won so completely that when they were finished…there was nobody left to remember the good guys. No one to tell their side of the story. No one to collect their history and write it down—not once the Temple was gone. They say history is written by the winners, but it should be written by those who remember. Those who care about the facts.”      The old man settled in a loose cross-legged position, his arms at his sides, his hands lying limply in his lap. “It was all a lie. My whole life, everything I lost…”

(It doesn’t help that the Empire erased anything that talked about the Jedi or the Force, so there was nothing to contradict their story.)Ultimately, there is hope, though.  The Force seems to have chosen Karr specifically to show him what really happened, how the Jedi were betrayed and that they had never turned their backs on the Republic, that his role isn’t to become a Jedi himself, but to tell their story, the real story of their courage and bravery.And that seems to be reflected in Star Wars Propaganda where an author writes an entire book on how one conflict led into the next and while the Jedi are a small part of that book, as well as it doesn’t directly focus on Order 66 much or anything, it does show that the Jedi weren’t part of the corruption eating away at the Republic, that their problem was one of being really shit at PR more than anything.So someday the galaxy should know the truth.  There’s hope out there!  But it’s going to take awhile because the Empire was really, really thorough in scrubbing out the actual truth and replacing it with their own narrative.But glimmers exist.  The crew in Alphabet Squadron discover a Jedi Temple and realize there may be more to them than the Empire said.  Savi from Black Spire knew the Jedi were good and did much to protect the galaxy.  In-universe stories from Myths & Fables survive.  Poe Dameron speaks incredibly warmly about the Jedi and their traditions in the Poe Dameron comics.  Maz Kanata knew them and she liked them.The truth may not be widespread, but it’s not dead in the GFFA and one day I’m sure the whole galaxy will know it again.But in the meantime, it’s heartbreaking that nobody knew for so very long.  Nobody knew the Jedi bled and died for the Republic, for the clones, for the citizens.  Nobody knew that the clones were victims of the system, were treated like disposable cannon fodder, that they weren’t given much of anything once the war was over, that the best they could hope for was, yeah, I guess you’re a person now, and if you want, you can work for the Empire to train Stormtroopers, with the few days you have left because of your rapid aging.  Nobody knew what those chips in their heads did to them.  Nobody knew the trauma and guilt and horror they had to live with having shot their Jedi in the backs.  Nobody knew any of this for a long, long time and some details will probably always be lost to history.

#jedi order #clones #meta #novels #Anonymous