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ironmandeficiency · 3 years

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I saw y'all discussing potential zodiac signs for Pascal's characters, what's your take on the major ones? I personally believe Marcus Pike is a cancer, Catfish's a pisces, Din's a virgo, Whiskey's an aries, Oberyn's either a leo or a libra, Ezra's a gemini or a sag, but I lean towards gemini. Javier's the poster child for Scorpio. Don't know about Maxwell Lord.

pedro character star signs

i’m so sorry it took so long, i was tweaking this so much bc i wanted to make sure i got it right! these are just what i think based on my astrology opinions, i hope you like it! 💕 i added their moon signs for flair bc i can. gonna tag a few friends i think may be interested, hope it’s not an inconvenience

max phillips: aries sun & moon. his ambition and charisma paired with the carefree attitude and optimism are an optimum fire sign duality and despite the fact i shouldn't, i love it so much. he has an inner child that he spoils with the riches of his conquests (good and bad) & gets emotional contentment when he succeeds in achieving his goals. knows what he wants & is quick to make those wants known. you never have to worry about where you stand with him because he will not hesitate to tell you.

javier peña: taurus sun with scorpio moon (the real guy is a taurus & i can see it but w heavy scorpio influence). he has his own structure and routine and will fight to the death to maintain it. very work oriented & does his best to rationalize his emotion-driven scorpio moon with his taurean logic, it's a tossup as to whether it works half the time. has a lot of emotional needs that aren't always met day to day & thats why he smokes and drinks and fucks. but don’t let anything make you doubt his love for you because the only thing stronger than his stubborn streak is his heart and its capacity to love you so damn much.

maxwell lord: libra sun with a sagittarius moon. the charisma? attractive and engaging af. oddly adept at chameleoning himself into whatever social group he's trying to vibe with. will draw eyes no matter what because so many people know him & if they don't already, they sure as hell want to. it takes him a while to learn to balance healthy relationships and his work life but when he does, you can visibly see how much healthier he is because of it. normally tends to his emotions in private but with help, he can start sharing a bit more. more optimistic than he sometimes should be but it could be worse

frankie morales: pisces sun with a cancer moon. his caring and sometimes cautious nature (with a twinge of homicidal tendencies) make him one that you don't just casually fuck with sexually or otherwise. catches feelings very easy & makes a lot of emotionally-driven decisions. these two water signs have a propensity towards codependence & defensiveness when hurt. is at his best when he feels loved and is supported by those he loves. emotions are always fluctuating and there’s some trouble with self-discipline (which is not the same as self-deprecation). because of this, he needs someone who can ground him

jack "whiskey" daniels: his swagger!! his charm!! his generosity!! the protectiveness over people he cares about!! this has the makings of a leo sun. this charismatic sun sign paired with his capricorn moon create a living example of the most balanced "work hard, play hard" you've ever seen. has a tendency to set high standards for himself and others & is a smidge more accepting when people fuck up, wanting to help them be better in the future. his emotions are often repressed in the name of responsibility but when he feels safe, he isn’t shy about them in the slightest. very confident in his skills & one of those that he’s the proudest of is his ability to cheer you up when you’re sad

din djarin: he is the most virgo virgo to ever virgo, a double whammy of it in both his sun & moon placements. very logical, disciplined, and tradition-oriented. knows how to bargain and budget, approaches problems with as little emotional attachment as he can (doesn't always work though), and is selfless af. needs something to keep him from being a worry wart bc otherwise he will spend every waking moment fretting over anything he can find. remarkably well-rounded & somehow the most emotionally stable

ezra: everything about this man radiates aquarius sun + gemini moon and you will never convinve me otherwise. he's just enough of an intellectual elitist (the big words and flowy shakespearian vocabulary) for it to border on unique and fun & annoying as fuck. every aquarian i've met has a quirk that sets them apart from everyone else & ezra's quirk (besides murder) is his vocabulary. it takes him a long time to learn to not talk over people on accident (sometimes he does on purpose just to be a bastard), but you can tell when he’s really trying to be conscious of it.

marcus moreno: now this man is what you call a pisces. a softie with a heart of gold that is constantly being underestimated, he has more power than most think. his silly and carefree nature detracts from the badassery he's capable of so it sometimes catches you off guard when he goes into Badass In Charge™️ mode but it’s there. his moon is also in pisces, which adds to his gentility and desire to be understood by his partner. this man just needs some love dammit, give it to him already!! his empathy makes him the Cool Dad™️ bc missy and literally any other kid get the vibe of “yeah this adult will actually listen to me and value my opinions”

dave: capricorn sun, aries moon. he thrives with people who can handle their own shit competency kink anyone? and doesn’t have patience with those who should know better. his standards are higher than a stoned giraffe, and is at his best in controlled environments. has a strong sense of self & a short list of people he would risk it all for. not as outwardly expressive but he does have a couple cues that you learn over time. also knows what he wants and is very meticulous in how he goes about getting it; there are very few places where he takes no for an answer. is a very good provider but don’t expect him to be mushy when you thank him for things he does for you.

oberyn martell: gemini sun & leo moon. he’s got more charisma than can fit in the ocean and sometimes it gets him into trouble. this man thrives on validation from loved ones. there is never a worry about not knowing what he’s feeling because oh boy is this man expressive. he’s a protector and a provider (and a gossip but don’t let him hear you say that). can and will cause a scene if there’s ample opportunity, he enjoys watching shit go down. will only interfere if it directly impacts him or someone he really cares about but otherwise will just pop the popcorn and pull up a seat. somehow has all the details of everything that ever happens but you learn to not question it.

pero tovar: scorpio sun (but specifically october scorpio) & aquarius moon. he’s highly rational when it comes to emotions but does have a temper. he’s observant af of his environment & the emotions of everyone around him, and chooses his actions carefully based on those. doesn’t confront his deeper emotions as often as he should bc it’s easier to default to Angy™️ and let the rest of the world come to their own assumptions. has no tolerance for lies and other bs, wants the truth and though it makes him seem power-hungry and manipulative, that’s not his intention. it’s just his way of looking for someone he can trust with the most intimate parts of him

marcus pike: this man? taurus sun, cancer moon. has a fear of abandonment that takes a while to quell but once it’s gone, he’s all in. he’s very empathetic and observant af, will know exactly what you need before you voice said need. will feel guilty for his baggage sometimes and the guilt will make him recluse for a short period until he’s reminded just how appreciated he is. does not play around when it comes to affection & is very eager to give and receive it whenever possible

my friends that i think might be interested: @scribbledghost @autumnleaves1991-blog @dyke--grayson @max--phillips @dindjarindiaries @pikemoreno @ohnopoe @pedropasscals @forever-rogue @engineeredfiction @bitchin-beskar

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kimnjss · 4 years

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round two | jhs

⤑ series: groupie love

⤑ genre: smut, rapper!hoseok x youtuber!reader, idol au.

⤑ rating: explicit.

⤑ word count: 4.4K

⤑ warnings: cursing, hickeys, (slight) oral sex (f. receiving), nipple play, unprotected sex (wrap it up, loves!).

⤑ A/N: wow, this is sooo late and i literally have no excuse bc i’ve been at home all day - i was just too lazy to pick up my laptop. LMAO. buuut! i really, really hope you guys like this part!

Your conversation with Jimin is cut short, his words rushed as he tells you Yoongi is trying to FaceTime. He's hanging up before you have a second to wonder when the two of them had gotten close enough to be FaceTiming... and why there was so much excitement in his tone.

Before he was rushing you off the phone, you two had been talking about the dos and don'ts for you to follow tonight. Do: be flirty and offer a few laughs at his jokes here and there. Don't: decide everything falling from his lips was hilarious and deserved a reaction. Mentally, you took notes as Jimin listed off the simple rules for you to use as guidelines.

You had been seconds from asking him to help you pick out what you were going to wear tonight, but he was off the line too quickly. Either way, you were going to at least try to be yourself tonight. It was no secret to you that Hoseok was mainly interested in the persona that you put on, you were determined to get him to like the real you just as much.

Which meant the new clothes that you had bought when the two of you first started talking were pretty much a waste. Not comfortable in any of those outfits and they really didn't match your personality.

Just because you had decided to be yourself, didn't mean that finding out which outfit highlighted your best self would be easy. It was hours before you were nodding at yourself in the mirror, satisfied. Your favorite white lace tank top neatly tucked into the waistband of a comfy pleated skirt. Casual, but still cute. This was your style. Hair done in loose curls, makeup kept natural... this was you.

Your phone is dinging with a message from Hoseok, just as you're slipping your arms into a knit cardigan. He's outside, ready and waiting for you and the calm that you had been feeling earlier had been washed away. A nervous patter in your chest as you typed back your response, tucking your phone into your purse and making your way down the stairs.

Hoseok is sat behind the wheel, dark sunglasses hanging off of the bridge of his nose and hair falling in messy curls onto his forehead. He grins when he sees you, leaning over the threshold to push the door open for you. You're sliding in beside him, instantly being intoxicated by his sweet scent that fills the car.

“You look pretty,” He's complimenting as soon as you're settled, eyes dragging over your attire before he's smiling, nodding to himself and turning his attention to the road ahead of him.

You smile your thanks, watching as he shoves the car into gear and pulling away from your house.

“Where we going?” Curiosity getting the better of you after you've been moving for a little bit, no destination in sight. He had his latest mixtape playing through the speakers, loudly, and you couldn't help but find it interesting he actually listened to his own music like that.

“Studio,” He replies simply and you want to ask what kind of date could be had at the studio. But you don't, just nod your head and allowing your body to sink into the leather of his seats.

“So what's up with the new get up?” Hoseok is tilting his head in your direction and despite already knowing what you're wearing, you're looking down at your attire and scanning it over. “I mean, you look good. Just different from the first time I saw you,” He's quick to buffer when you're not answering him right away.

Hands reaching for the hem of your dress, fingers toying with the edge as you shrug your shoulder. “This is more my style,” You reply simply, shocked at the smile that breaks onto his features. He's nodding his head, body bobbing with the action while he faces the road again.

“I like it. Looks good on you,”

The compliment has butterflies rising in your stomach. The smile on your lips growing and the worry that you had of him not being interested in you anymore slowly washing away. It felt good to receive compliments for looking like yourself. Surprised that he had even noticed the change to begin with, to anyone else it would look like you had just decided to add some color into your clothes.

It was as if he knew that what you had first presented to him, wasn't you.

Hoseok's studio building was much larger than you would've imagined. Looked like a tall industrial tower rather than a rapper's recording studio. Seemingly made of glass with the large windows that surround it. A thick laugh falls for his lips, noticing your awe at the sight. “It's not as dramatic on the inside,” He's reaching for his door, pulling it open and walking to the front of the car.

With his hands tucked in his pockets, he waits. It takes you a moment to realize that he's waiting for you... and not coming around to do the gentlemen like thing and open the door for you. You step out behind him, his arm easily finding your waist as he pulls you close.

“We won't be here for long, just gotta meet with the guys for a bit.” With a gentle tug he's leading you inside of the building.

The two of you walk past the security check-in, not even having to go through the whole rundown you notice others are. Perks of being one of the biggest artists on this label. He's greeted with each step he takes, not a single person batting an eye at the fact that you're hanging off his arm. He must bring girls here a lot then, right?

One short elevator ride later, you're turning the corner and facing a large door. 'GL' written in thick black lettering, spelled out underneath much smaller is 'genius lab'. So that's what they called it? He's pushing the door open immediately, expecting you to follow as he steps inside.

The 'guys' he had referred to earlier were the same men you met at his show the other night. Scattered around the room, doing their own thing and not even flinching at the fact that someone new had entered their sanctuary.

Joon stood in the both, determination wrinkling his brow as he tried out rhymes over the beat that Jungkook was playing for the controls across the room. Yoongi lounged on the couch, iPad in hand – fingers flicking frantically against the screen as he half-listened to the way Joon's voice voice caressed the beat.

“You're late. Did you ask her?” Joon's voice echos around the room in place to the mumble rap he had been spewing just seconds before.

Her? You take a second to peak around you, checking to see... you were the only 'her' here. They couldn't be referring to you, right? Ask you what? “Not yet,” Hoseok is replying with a roll of his eyes, shrugging off the colorful jacket he had been wearing.

“Yoongi wants you to do adlibs,”

Your brows furrow instantly, confusion riddling your features. “I don't sing,” Never once thought of it, your vocal cords just didn't work that way. What in the world made them think that it would be a good idea to have your voice mixed in with their track? That was just crazy talk.

“First of all, it was your idea.” Yoongi's bored drawl fills the room, he's standing with a roll of his eyes and you can't help but notice the hickeys coating the side of his neck. When Jimin wanted to mark his territory... “And you wouldn't be singing, just like talking? Hobi here says you have a pretty voice, so why not?”

Despite the way your eyes widen, your cheeks darken at the fact that Hoseok thought your voice was pretty. Was it bad that knowing that alone was able to turn you to mush standing where you were.

“You think I have a pretty voice?” You're turning to face where Hoseok had sat, the smile not being able to be wiped from your lips. He's shrugging his shoulders, avoiding looking at you – focusing on what Jungkook's doing. “I watched some of your videos... it sounds nice and your laugh...” He's trailing off, acting as if he had become really interested in Jungkook's fingers when in reality he was hiding his blush.

“Okay,” You're turning to Yoongi, smiling up at him. If this was Hoseok's idea of a date then you were down. Who knows, it could be fun being featured on one of their tracks... people listening and hearing your voice and wondering.

“Alright, cool. You can go in once they're done. Say whatever you want, really. Moans aren't required but, hey... get into it.” Moans!? Were you going to... Yoongi is reaching for his iPad, tucking it under his shoulder and turning his attention to the remaining guys. “Now I need to go replace some Chanel earrings, y'all good until I get back?” You're nodding even though the question is not meant for you.

The boys call back their answers as Yoongi makes his way out of the door. Sinking onto the couch, you watch Hoseok as he works. Admiring the way he looks, totally in his element as he gives direction and listens.

You don't miss the way he steals glances in your direction, trying his hardest to cover it up. Gaze flickering away from you the moment that you catch him, but he's peaking back just seconds later not able to hide the smile on his face.

Ignoring the butterflies that arise each time your eyes connect, you try your hardest not to let it go to your head. Like Jimin said. Completely uninvolved, your feelings should be. That's how it worked with guys like him. Yet, you couldn't shake the fact that he didn't act like guys like him... at all.

It had been fun. Watching them work, the way they bounced ideas off of each other. How comfortable they were in the environment they created for themselves. A little while of you just watching passed before Hoseok was worrying that you might be bored, so lost in his work that he seemed to forget he was supposed to be entertaining you. It didn't matter, though, you were enjoying just watching him.

He was ushering you over with a wide smile, arm slipping around your waist in the way you were starting to get use to. Without plan, you were leaning into his side, looking up at him with bright eyes as he spoke.

“What do you think of this beat?” A much slower pace from the songs that they usually released. Namjoon's voice leaked through, as a guide of the temp of the song and just as his verse was ending the beat was dropping. The slow sound speeding up, but still holding that powerful feeling. Hoseok's voice was heard next, his fast stylistic rap bleeding through.

The song remained upbeat from that point on, lines being shared between the two of them. “This is really good!” You're exclaiming once the music was cutting off. Jungkook is leaning back in his chair, a triumphant grin on his face.

“I told you. It works better this way,” He was standing now, cocky that he had won the little argument that you had ignored earlier. With his hands shoved in his pockets, he's making his way to the door. “You guys can play with the rest,”

“Don't even get like that, because-!” Namjoon is chasing behind him, the slam of the door cutting his sentence short. Left alone with Hoseok, you can feel the atmosphere of the room shifting. His eyes are on you as he's sinking into the seat that Jungkook had just been in, teeth nibbling on his lower lip.

“You want to try?” Despite his casual question, there's a fire in his eye. A look that hadn't been there before, you don't think. His arm is still wrapped around your waist, holding you close in front of him. Face level with your belly and getting in the doing an adlib is the last thing on your mind right now.

The tips of his fingers trace over the curve of your back, sending chills down your spine. Heat cruising through your veins and forcing a stutter in your chest. Space. Some space would keep you from jumping him right now, you're sure.

Taking a step back, you're nodding your head. “Yeah, it seems fun.” You're smiling and he's gesturing with his hand for the open doors of the glass room. You step in, securing the headphones onto your ears while watching him mess with the buttons on the panel. Suddenly, the song that you had just listened to was playing in one ear.

“Just say whatever, when you think it'll sound good,” His voice is heard overhead and you're nodding. “Okay,” You can hear yourself in the ear that is not playing the music, the sound pushing a grin onto your lips. This was so cool.

Hoseok watches you the entire time you're babbling, random phrases, and sayings falling from your lips. There's a sweet smile on his face, his eyes never leaving you even when the song has played out. “Do a laugh,” He's clicking on the talk button, his voice filling both of your ears. The sound so deep and husky, it has a pang of arousal rushing between your legs.

He restarts the song and you wait, letting out a laugh where it sounded good. A soft smile pushes onto his lips at the sound and your heart warms. So content with the sound of your laugh, it seemed. You did it again, a quiet giggle this time.

There was no way you were going to get over how handsome he looked in this moment. Comfortably dressed, but fresh... clean. Plush lip trapped between his teeth, long fingers toying with the nobs and buttons and you can't stop yourself from thinking how good it would feel to have his hands on you again.

The first time (and only time) you two were together, it had been a bit fast. Not much foreplay involved, not enough time to really get to know each other's bodies. Everything with him seemed fast to match his fast pace life. He didn't have time for formalities, he made that part pretty obvious.

But tonight, right now, it felt different. Just from the way he was looking at you, how he had been talking to you. The fact that he brought you along to work with him, when he clearly could've pushed hanging out to a later date. He wanted to see you, couldn't wait until he could; so having you in the studio with him was a great compromise.

And it was funny, even without the proper chance to get to know each other, the knowledge of the stress that would come along with getting involved with him; you still liked him. Still craved him. Always wanting more. Couldn't get the thought of being together with him like that again out of your mind.

Would it be different? Or the same? Better, most likely. You two had some time to get to know each other, become comfortable around each other. Who's telling what the two of you could get into the second time around.

Feeling bold and growing bored with trying different laughs and mumbling phrases, you let out a moan. A tiny one at first, that he hardly even notice. Too concentrated on perfecting the audio levels. So you do it again, louder and more drawn out.

Hoseok's head is whipping up, eyes wide as he stares at you. A smirk on your lips, you keep your eyes on his as you do it again. Eyes closing slightly and head rolling back. “What the...” It's like he had been frozen in place, wide eyes never leaving you. And to make matters worse, you decide to let a giggle fall from your lips at the sight of him.

“How's that sound?” Your question has him falling back to reality, blinking a few times as he shakes his head. You watch the way a smirk lifts the corners of his lips, his hand lifting to push his messy hair back.

“Ehh, sounds a bit forced. If you're gonna make those sounds, they need to sound natural.” His backs straightening, as if he's getting ready to stand up. Oh, how you wish he'd come in here and help you make these moans sound natural.

Your eyes never leave his, not even for a second. “I'm not sure I know what you mean,” Head tilting and eyelashes batting the in the cute habit you picked up through the years. “Think you can help me?”

He's standing before the words can leave your lips, long strides taken into the booth. Not daring to move a muscle as he moves to stand behind you, his hand wrapping around your stomach while he pulls your back against his chest. “It all depends how you want it to sound,” He's mumbling, freehand lifting to push your hair to one side.

“Breathy?” His lips find the skin of your neck, leaving open mouth kisses along the length and pulling a breathy moan from your lips. It echos in your ears and your vaguely aware that all of this is being recorded. You can't bring yourself to care, though. Just a passing thought, your full focus on Hoseok.

His tongue drags over your skin until he's able to catch your earlobe between his teeth. The palm of his hand is grasping at the fabric of your loose shirt, tugging at it until its being released from the waist of your skirt. “Surprised,” His hand is quick with the way it travels underneath your shirt, finding your bare breasts.

He squeezes, a short yelped falling from your lips; not expecting him to do that. You can feel his grin against your skin, his little lesson long forgotten now that he had your tit in his hand. His fingers toy with your hardened nipple while he sucks hickeys into your neck. Head drawn back and resting against his shoulder, quiet moans falling from your lips and filling both of your ears.

“I had a whole dinner planned,” He's speaking, pulling back from you just slightly. His hand still moves underneath your shirt and you're barely registering what he had said. “But... fuck, I just want to take you home. Can we skip it?” You're turning in his arm, catching the last bit of his sentence. Arms wrapping around his neck, chest pressed against his. “Let's skip it,” A breathy sigh falls from your lips, he's leaning in to cover your lips with his.

The kiss so sweet, soft and there's a tinkle in your chest from the feeling of his lips on yours. He's pulling back slowly, but shaking his head before leaning in for another kiss. And then another. And another. Soon enough you're breaking into a fit of giggles, his smile felt against your lips.

He pulls back enough to see your face, pretty eyes searching yours. Hoseok lifts his hands, cradling your cheeks in his palms. Thumbs brushing over your cheekbones as he smiles. “I think you could drive me crazy,” He's saying, not quite understanding the weight of his words. The questions instantly floating in your mind the second you register what he's just said.

Not tonight. You'll over analyze later. Instead, you're leaning up on your toes, catching his lips one last time before mumbling out: “Take me home,”

When you had said 'home' not for a second did you think Hoseok would be driving the long distance back to your apartment. Parking his expensive car in your shared lot as if it was a normal place for it. Not enough time to mull over it because he's quick with helping you out of the car, allowing you to lead the way to your complex.

Needy lips and desperate hands clash the second you two are closed within your four walls. Stumbled steps taken to your bedroom, bodies falling onto the mattress as his lips trail hungry kisses down the side of your neck. Strong hands on your hips, pushing your body up further on the bed as his kiss travels lower.

It's a moment before you're realizing what he's doing, fists dragging your skirt down your legs. He groans at the sight of your simple panties, dark eyes lifting to find your face. “You're so fucking cute,” You can only imagine how you look right now, cheeks flushed and eyes blown. Mouth agape as you wait on heavy breaths on his next move.

His long tongue drags along your slit through the material, your back instantly arching at the contact. The moan that falls from your lips as his cock twitching in his jeans and he dives in, covering your mound with his mouth in hopes to hear those sounds again.

Not long until your panties are soaked and sticky against your heat, nearly breathless and mind effectively turned to mush. He's looking at you again, watching your face as he peels your wet panties out of the way. The hem of your shirt is found by your hands, quickly being lifted and discarded.

Hoseok's eye go wide slightly, train of thought lost as he lifts his body from between your legs. His lips wrap around your newly exposed nipples, lapping at the hardened skin. “Fuck,” You pant, fingers tangling in his soft hair.

The tips of his fingers find your clit between your legs, rubbing figure eights into it's sensitivity while his mouth works against your once neglected bud. A string of curses, nonsense sentences slip past your lips as you feel your body warming.

So fast. Just like everything else with him. No thinking required. The built is easily felt throughout your whole body, his fingers moving faster and his teeth beginning to nibble. You don't notice the way he's fumbling with his other hand, too focused on reaching your end.

It's not until you feel that snap, your orgasm washing over you at the same time his cock pushing his way past your tightened folds do you figure what all the fumbling was about. “Oh, fuck!” You shout, legs lifting to wrap around his waist and pull him closer – ignoring the sensitive sting between your legs.

“So... fucking, tight.” Hoseok gasps out, head now buried in the crook of your neck as he holds onto your hips.

There was just something about being with you like this... being with you at all, that had an unfamiliar swell rising in Hoseok's chest. It was safe to say that he liked you, way more than he liked to admit.

Enjoyed your company, thought you were pretty in the most delicate way, and felt this insistent need to protect you. Be there for you. Hold you close when you needed him. Wanted to be needed by you.

It was something that he noticed when he first saw how nervous you were when you had met him. Something that he tried to ignore, keeping the mindset that he could just sleep you and that would be it. Boy, was he wrong. That just made everything worse. There was no way he could get you out of his mind now, after. He needed more of you. Craved it like a crackhead looking for their next fix.

And you were so adorably transparent he didn't even need to wonder if you were feeling the same. Realized that you had changed your look in a way to impress him, get his attention... when in reality you would've had it no matter what to begin with.

It was true, you caught his attention because of that whole thing... but there was something deeper than that. Something more to you that he couldn't really place at first. So no, he didn't start liking the persona that you tried so hard to keep up with, as if you didn't have tons of videos up of you actually being yourself, he liked you for that girl. The one with the pretty smile and the bright eyes.

That's the girl that he could see himself being with. There were already too many fakes in the world, he liked you a whole lot better.

The only problem was, he had no idea how to put that into words. Had a knot in his chest every time the thought came to mind. So he hoped this would be enough. Taking you back to his place, inviting you to his job, sleeping with you twice... this time in your room something that he usually never did. He hoped you'd pick up on the differences, be able to see that he was only like this when it came to you.

Only softened to the feeling of your nails running over his scalp, only truly lost it when it was you wrapped around him like this. Squeezing him so tight as you reached your second peak of the night, wanton moans falling from your lips, cries of his name. He really only liked the way it sounded on your tongue.

“Shit,” Hoseok's grunting out from the tightness of your fingers in his hair, the muscles in his legs and back tightening as he pushes into you fully. Body ridged as his arousal leaves his body in thick spurts.

The warmth coats your walls, body falling limp against your sheets. He pulls out short after, his seed instantly rolling down the side of your leg. A sheen layer of sweat on your body makes you sticky, but he doesn't care. Rolling onto his back, he's reaching for you to hold you close.

You're too tired, too spent to protest, complain about how you stink and should probably wash up before cuddling. Not like he'd be willing to let you go anyway, not with how at peace he felt just by holding you close.

Head laid on his chest, you listen to his slow breathing an arm wrapped around his torso as the two of you laid in silence. What you would give to peek into his mind, find out what had him so quiet.

Little did you know, his life was flashing before his eyes. The Hoseok he had once been, the dick who treated girls as nothing more than a whole slowly passing. This new refined Hoseok, ready to cherish you, respect you in ways he wasn't even sure of was blossoming.

He was ready. Not for a second would he make you feel the way he knew he made the other girls feel. All he hoped was that you'd be willing to accept him. Losing you all at once becoming the scariest thing to him.

– he’s ½ of the famous rap duo, the 94′s. when stumbling upon a pretty youtuber, he’s quick to decide he wants to have her. but one night with her just doesn’t seem like enough.

⬿ masterlist ⤳

taglist: @randomkoalablog @smoljams @dee-ehn @angjeon @moarmynation @diminieshoe @butterflylion @withlovestudyblr @uxwi @hazefilter @honeyoongles @flantasticpr @ratking101 @jinhitwhore @thisistrashperson @hehehehahahohohuhu @jaiuneamesolitaiire @hellotherehoneybee @bangtansonyeondayyyum @okaysoplshelpme @rather-not-sayy @betysotelo18 @bluefaeriefury @tae165 @kookiesjoonies @bangtansbun @koostime @justastupidnick @ashleyjoyx @kooinluv @alpaca1612 @sw33tnight @taefect94 @houseofarmanto @flantasticpr @amoreguk @kim-ji-hyeons-world @mochibabycakes @beeeb05 @tommasauras @diorhobii @kimsouthjoon @korkanswers @samros95 @soulstaes @masterpiecejoonie @melonmochi @aizuwusho @marifujioka @elliemeetsevil @thesunisup-theskyisblue @thecityrain @alterlovess @leovaldezisfire

A/N: timestamps are important throughout the fic!! if you want to be added to the taglist, send me an ask! also if you asked to be on the taglist and aren’t on there, it’s because tumblr sometimes doesn’t let me tag ppl for some reason.

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decennia · 3 years

Note

Ok I just gave up catching up on my dash full stop because Clementine and George and Wildest Dreams got my brain like this:

I feel I desperately need to make an OC for George but he is YOUR precious lol

So instead while I'm here, give me and I mean GIVE all your George and Clementine headcanon

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I WAS FINISHING UP SOME GIFS ✨

First things first, that image lives in my mind rent free.

Second things second, please create an OC for George holy shit please yes?! George has already been romantically (or at least sexually, because Sable is a hoe) linked to Ellis Grant from @chlobenet (nothing ever came of it, George developed an infatuation and was perpetually rebuffed by our Lord and Saviour Miss Grant), @perfectlystiles' Laurel Chase, and @randomestfandoms-ocs' Reese Masrani. It is my goal to accumulate enough George Cassidy romantic interests that I can make a Wives of Henry the Eighth edit, so literally go nuts. Everyone, Create An OC To Thirst Over George Cassidy Challenge!

The best thing about George and the other Corpsemen is that the only thing that makes them Jurassic World OCs is that they happen to be hired there. It is by no means their entire story, and although they've been around for literally three days (?!) I keep thinking of more and more things about them and I keep building their backstories to the point where dinosaurs are literally the least craziest thing they've experienced.

If I were to sum up Clem and George's relationship in a gif, though:

(This got hella out of hand so keep reading under the cut if you want to know more about George and Clementine.)

A brief history on George "Sable" Cassidy and Clementine "Calico" Roscoe:

He is known as "George" to his friends, and "Cassidy" to his enemies. "Sable" when he's on the job, and "hers" when they're alone.

But it wasn't always like that. I'm not going to bore you with the details about George's fatherless upbringing, or his reasons for joining the British military, or how he'd always been a bit of a troubled kid. Where his story really begins is when he directly disobeys orders and murders the military hostages who were responsible for the attack on his unit. He is dishonourably discharged, and is sent back to the U.K. to await trial for murder and treason.

He manages an escape and goes dark; during which time, Clementine Roscoe, an agent at Interpol, is assigned his case. Unfortunately, after a year of searching (one close call where he was literally within breathing distance of Roscoe ) and a thousand too many mistaken sightings after that, the case goes cold, and she is assigned another case, one which results in the death of her entire family.

Clementine resigns from her position after she is denied leave to pursue the murderers, and spends the next few years methodically hunting down and executing the list of people she knew to be responsible. It was enough to impress Malcolm Drake, who located and recruited her into the Corpse Corporals (aka Gucci Suicide Squad).

All this time, Cassidy had been residing in Southern Africa, making a hefty living as a poacher under ever-changing pseudonyms (I had to make y'all understand that Sable is a bad man but y'all be forgiving Tom for murder and incest so here we are but honestly did it even work because here I am, being fooled, alongside you 😭). He runs a pretty decent operation, also dabbling in the smuggling of weaponry, and he lives a comfortable life. That is, until he is betrayed by his business partners (a brother-sister duo, FCs Megan Fox and Aidan Turner? Idk, still debating) and pushed out of the business under threat of death.

He is rescued by Malcolm, who has managed to track him down, and in exchange for his life spared, he agrees to work for Malcolm. His reunion with Clem is incredibly tense, with both of them pulling their guns on each other and refusing to work together. Malcolm snaps some sense into them (that, and the sum of the payload which had so many 0's added to the end, you couldn't be sure what the number really was other than "a lot") and they swallow their pride and work together.

They would continue to work together as Calico and Sable for the years to come, and when I say it is a slow burn, I do mean THE SLOWEST OF THE SLOW. But there is definitely a fuck ton of sexual tension thrown in there for angst, and a couple of near brushes with death (hazard of the job, really).

George is a prolific man whore, and he's bisexual and proud. So Clem has gotten used to an endless slew of people of all genders cumming coming and going from his hotel room, especially during the long cons where the Corpsemen go deep undercover for months at a time (Hector doesn't come on those jobs, he's got a family to worry about. He taps out at a month, max, if he doesn't get to leave to see his family).

George Cassidy is not a man who is used to not getting what he wants, but Clementine Roscoe is the only exception to that rule. He has come to view her as "unobtainable," this irreverent forbidden thing that he must not ruin. By the time the heat of their mutual hate had dissipated, it had turned into a friendship, and although there was an undeniable electric tension between them, they have never done anything about it. But it has that "will definitely be the best sex of your life" kinda energy.

They fight quite a lot, and disagree on almost everything. Have they tried to kill each other? Oh, absolutely. But they're also professionals, and although Clementine and George may be going at it, it never bothers Malcolm, because he knows that Calico and Sable will put those differences aside and do the damn job.

Clem only involves herself in George's sex life when it comes to people who she considers friends. She has the warnings already mentally scripted, because the thing about George Cassidy is that he cares about no one but himself, and nothing but his holy trinity: blood, money, and sex. He's an emotionally devoid sociopath at the best of times, and at the worst, he's a well oiled and dangerous killing machine.

He is not a good man, Clementine knows, but sometimes, you don't want a good man.

I have a gifset in store involving the two of them, and I'm busy compiling a list of headcanons as we speak. If you want, I can tag you in it :)

But this is everything about their past and a bit of their present, so if you want to create an OC please do and tag me so I can write up a crossover and make some gifs 💕

(And before anyone comes for me, yes, I am aware of the fact that George "Sable" Cassidy is a very toxic and fucking despicable man, I created him, and I made him that way. I am not condoning his actions, nor would I want to be in a relationship with him in real life, but this is fiction. It is not meant to be taken seriously, if you don't like my hot mercenary boyfriend, then please unfollow me, because he is my current obsession, and I cannot promise that I will not be thirsting for him on my TL at any and all hours).

#i am literally in love with this man #i'm so sorry y'all have to suffer through this tomfoolery #lokitrasho #oc: george cassidy #oc: clementine roscoe

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centuriantalevevo · 2 years

Text

Xiao Finally Gets His Weapon and Xiangling Inherits His Current One

Featuring shitposting probably- some memes.

Xiao

Albedo

Me/Halo

Xiangling

Barbara

Xiiiaaaooo!!! C'mere!!! You too, Xiangling!!

Hm? What is it?

I got a present for you~

Is it sweet release from Karmic debt?

Doubt it

Nooo... But I think it's second best AFTER that...

And why did you need me?

Hi, Xiangling!

Hey, Barbara! Long time no see!

Right? I miss you being on the team! But it's also nice having Sucrose there

Soooo.. You know how I've been using Deathmatch as a substitute weapon for you since I don't have your polearm?pole arm??

Um.. yes

And I promised Xiangling she would inherit it one you got the Primordial Jade-Winged Spear...

Mhmm

So...?

Well....

Come on!! I can't take the tension!!

Didn't you get a 5 star on the standard banner just a few moments ago?

Bingo!

So..

TADAA!!! Here you go, Xiao!~

WAIT YOU ACTUALLY GOT IT?!

Yeah! That's why I wasn't worried about pulling for your weapon when it was on the weapon banner, because you can get it on standard. I think that's how I got the Primordial Jade Cutter, the sword Qiqi is using.

But.. that means spending that 20 dollar gift card went to waste to get the deathmatch because you've been using that to raise its refinement rank...?

No, because A. It gave me primogems, and B. Xiangling is inheriting it, so it's still gonna go to use!

I-I'm sorry to interrupt but... does that mean... I won't be on the team anymore.. so Xiangling can be out more with the deathmatch?? -Sucrose

Don't worry! It's not like I'm kicking you off permanently. You know how I've been alternating between you, Xiangling, Diona, and Qiqi. Plus you and Albedo in the same team are absolute beasts. But for now, yes Xiangling is gonna get action again. But plus, since I do let me brot- sister... play on my account on occasion because I have both Albedo and Xiao, Xiangling will still be getting attention because he- my bad, she- putting Xiangling on the team because Xiangling is her favorite... prolly cuz of Guoba.

O-Oh! Alright... I was afraid because I just got to go out more now... -Sucrose

Don't worry, dude. You won't be replaced. I promise.

Anyways! Here you go Xiao, and Xiangling...

Yes?!

I proudly present to you, the Deathmatch, with refinement rank 3!

OOOO! YAY! Aw... bye bye Halberd.. you were a good weapon while it lasted

But who's the main DPS now??

Y e s

Ah, of course. The best answer to ever hear in the world to "who is the main DPS?"; yes.

To be honest... this team set is really cracked out- but between Xiangling and Xiao, pretty sure he still does the most damage.

Why do you have 2 main DPS, a sub DPS- I'm... assuming I'm supposed to be a sub DPS... and then.. not even a full healer... Barbara is a mix between healer and... I have no clue.

I build her to be a hybrid- as I do all of my healers- Sayu shall be no different to be honest... or maybe she will actually- cuz she's anemo... ehhh... anyways. Ummm.. I have no clue, if I'm honest

A main DPS, sub DPS, support, and healer? Sorry, I only know 2 main DPS, what's SUPPOSED to be a sub DPS, and a support healer that deal physical damage even though she's a catalyst.

Sums it up perfectly

Y'all just jealous Barbara can do physical damage without even being active.

That's cheating!

It's being smart

It's okay, main DPS Barbara can't hurt you, she isn't real. Main DPS barbara:

Why does Albedo have the ability to quote a whole meme but sound incredibly serious?

It's okay, serious memelord Albedo isn't real, serious memelord Albedo can't hurt you! Serious memelord Albedo:

Anyways, if I were to say what the hell this team set up is... it's probably... Xiao, main DPS; Xiangling, Sub DPS; Albedo, Sub DPS and Support; Barbara, Hybrid Healer-Support. I'ma have to come up with a name for that.

Okay, can we start upgrading my weapon now so I'm not fighting with a LEVEL 1 POLEARM??

Level 82 Xiao fighting with a Level 1 Primordial Jade-Winged Spear... I can't tell if that's scary because I know he could still probably destroy Childe with that... or not...

Both

Fair

COME ON! I WANNA PLAY AROUND WITH MY NEW POLEARM!! Hheheh

Alright, fine.

Yeah uh I got Primordial Jade-Winged Spear on standard banner... YE- that's better than the C1 Qiqi or the Keqing I wanted!

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gallavictorious · 3 years

Note

Once again the fandom coming together to daydream about Mickey helping Ian out and seeing him back on track to become an emt again but why is that on Mickey? Why does he always have to do things to make Ian happy when Ian's usually nothing but annoyed by Mickey and does nothing to make Mickey happy? Truly shows which character y'all care about more.

This got absurdly long, because I am who I am and did take the opportunity to go off on a tangent about valid conclusions and what not, so I put it under a cut. Read at your own risk! Oh, and I also do address the actual question about whether or not Ian's career is on Mickey, and whether or not Ian never does anything to make Mickey happy. ;)

For the sake of clarity, I got this ask in response to this post.

And I gotta say, nonnie, getting this ask perplexed me to the point of running off to Trusted Fandom Friends, demanding to know how my undying love and loyalty for Mickey could ever be doubted. Had to laugh at myself a little, actually, and the strenght of my befuddlement. It reminded me of the time I went on a trip with people from the 501st (cosplayers dedicated to the bad guys in Star Wars) and Rebel Legion (cosplayers dedicated to the good guys in Star Wars) and a lot of people assumed I was a Rebel sympathizer simply because I had friends in that group and those were the people who had invited me. Excuse me, I didn't yell, I have like 30 Darth Vaders in my damned home, how dare you question my allegiance? I was so used to always being known as a diehard Vaderkin fangirl that the mer fact of strangers failing to recognize me as such genuinely fucked a little with my sense of identity. My love of Mickey isn't anywhere near as deeply ingrained into my sense of self, since he's only been an occasional presence in my life since 2016 while Darth Vader's been my main man since 1994, but it was still a little jarring to suddenly find myself (mis)identified as an Ian stan.

Being a fangirl is strange.

And I want to make it clear that I do love Ian. He's a fascinating character and, to me, he's a character that's often much harder to understand than Mickey. He rewards careful analysis and discussion, though, so I guess I tend to talk a lot about him? I don't need to spend as much time considering Mickey's feelings and motivations because they are (almost) always pretty obvious; I don't need to tease them out. But at the end of the day, Mickey is my favourite. (Though I'll always love Ian and Mickey together more than I love either of them on their own. It's like fresh cilantro and mint – each perfectly lovely in their own right, but the combination of them creates a flavour that's just out of this world.)

Now, you might argue that you don't follow me and so have no idea who I am and what I like to post about, and that going only by that single post (which, in fairness, was tagged with 'i just want ian to be happy okay?') I give off the general impression of an Ian stan. And that's fair enough; I'm an obscure blog in a decently big fandom and you're not required to keep track of anyone. However, if you want to throw around passive aggressive accusations of caring more about one character than the other, I will ask you to do your research first. Reacting to one single piece of data without considering the context is a common but highly unfortunate practice that needlessly complicates meaningful conversations, and we'd all do well to abstain from it.

Oh, you don't want to spend a lot of time and energy on consdering every single thing a specific Tumblr blog has ever said on a specific topic just so you can draw a valid conclusion about their stance? That's perfectly understandable, nonnie, and easily sorted: refrain from making unsubstantiated claims about what other people think or don't think and you won't have to. Ask them, if you wonder. If you see a tendency in fandom to put the responsibility for Ian's wellbeing and career or Mickey's shoulders and want to discuss that, that's totally cool! I am game (and will address that question below)! But it's very possible to do that without somewhat rudely ascribing perferences and opinions to other people, and you'll get better answers for it (for instance, you won't have to wade through me rambling on about valid conclusions and my memories from other fandoms... ).

It seems to me, though, that this touches upon a long-held frustration of yours. If I interpret your ask correctly, you think the show gives us an Ian who is mostly annoyed with Mickey and doesn't do anything to make him happy, and you think that the fandom responds to this by relegating Mickey to the role of Ian's caretaker, whose sole purpose is to serve Ian's needs without any regard for what might Mickey himself happy. Have I got that right?

If so, it should be noted that I don't agree with either of these takes: I don't think that's the Ian the show gives us (a point I will return to below), and I don't think that fandom at large only cares about Ian's happiness, and I particularly don't think that my post can be used a evidence of the latter.

For instance, when you sent me this ask the post in question had all of 40 notes. As I write this, it has just over 70. ”The fandom coming together” seems to be slightly overstating the case, don't you think? There are certainly fans who care more about Ian and only see Mickey as valuable as long as he contributes to Ian's happiness, just as there are fans who care more about Mickey and only see Ian as valuable as long as he contributes to Mickey's happiness - but this single post with less than a hundred notes does not support that either of these stances would be predominant within the fandom. (And, while on the topic, I'd like to state that I don't actually see a problem with either of those stances; these are fictional characters that exists for our entertainment and we don't have any moral obligations to treat them equally and fairly. Don't ruin other fans' fun by dumping on either of them in the character or shipping tags or on character and shipping posts and this is not a problem. It might be a somewhat unpopular opinion, but I don't think you have to love or even like all characters in a ship to ship it: I refuse to drink plain tea because it's nasty but put a splash of milk in it and its my favourite thing ever. You can love a combination without loving all the seperate pieces on their own. And yeah, I do revert to food metaphors a lot. I like food.)

Secondly, whether or not the post can be said to represent the feeling of the fandom at large (it cannot), I think that reading a post specifically about ”Mickey helping Ian out and seeing him back on track to become an emt again” and then extrapolating from that that Mickey ”always have to do things to make Ian happy” is a little wild. The very first thing I wrote for this fandom was a vision of Ian offering Mickey comfort, goddammit. (Ian giving Mickey a hug is so high on my list of desires, you can't even imagine)

As for your actual question (and, ah, imagine how much shorter this post would be if you had just left it at that) – of course that's not on Mickey. That much, incidentally, I've actually explicitly stated in another post. Ian might have his issues but he's still an adult and responsible for himself. That being said, I don't see it as particularly strange that someone would go out of their way to help their partner when they see them struggling? If I realize that someone I care about is unhappy and there's a way for me to help, I would want to help because I love them and want them to be happy, even if it's – ethically speaking – not my responsibility to do so. Pretty sure Mickey, who is action-oriented and so very protective of the people he loves, feels the same way.

Of course, if it's a one-sided thing – if one partner is always the one to do stuff for the other and never receives any support in return – that's not a healthy relationship, and I assume that this is what you're seeing in the show and taking exception to?

Only... I can't help but wonder who this Ian is, this uncaring, selfish version you see – because I don't quite get how it can be the Ian who emptied his bank account for Mickey, or the Ian who was ready to throw his parole and stay in prison for Mickey even when they were in the middle of a fight specifically because Mickey said it would make him happy, or the one who kept trying to talk to Mickey and win him back after Mickey punched him in the face, accidentally broke his leg, and took off with a new lover (I'm not taking sides in this one, btw – I have a lot of sympathy and understanding for both of them and their actions throughout this whole sorry affair), or the Ian who immediately wanted to marry Mickey protect him from the consequences of a murder Ian thought he had actually comitted, or the Ian who went along with arranging a real wedding even though he initially didn't at all understand why this was important to Mickey and who had someone come serenade him once he did, or the Ian who chose At last for Mickey to walk up to the aisle to, or the Ian who keeps trying to reach out to Mickey and to touch him and discuss their issues in a mature way even when he's (justifiably) upset about Mickey using all their wedding money without telling Ian. (Though Ian deciding for both of them that they're saving the money isn't great either.)

I mean, Ian's absolutely done shitty things, as has Mickey. They're human, and they're the products of a chaotic and often hostile enviroment. They do mess up a lot; they've hurt each other rather badly over the years. Depending on your perspective and preferences, you may think one or the other have behaved worse, but as far as I can see, the claim that Ian never does anything to make Mickey happy is simply not supported.

Ian has seemed unusually annoyed with Mickey this season, I'll give you that, but while that's not always the most fun thing to watch and I strongly sympathize with the wish to just see Ian look at Mickey with that fond look again, I don't find him being frustrated right now all that weird, given the circumstances. I'd argue it has less to do with Mickey and more to do with a general frustration over thwarted ambitions and not being able to hold on even to a really shitty job, though Mickey's attitude doesn’t exactly help (which is not to say that I think that Ian's the one in the right here, becasue Ian's way of handling things hasn't always been been stellar either). However, I do have faith in them sorting this out – because even though they fight and bicker and get annoyed with each other, there's never any indication that they're not both committed to making this marriage thing work. They certainly stumble, they misunderstand each other and lash out, but they calm down and go to sleep in the same bed and compromise and keep trying. Every day, they – both of them – choose each other.

I'd like to finish this off by noting, even though it's not entirely relevant to my argument, that that the number one thing that does make Mickey happy is being together with Ian, and even when Ian is pissed at Mickey and withholding sex (which was very ill-advised but says a lot of interesting things about his character, I think!) no one's sleeping on the couch, there are no nights away from the house and each other, and even in the middle of an argument they sit and stand next to each other. I think that's pretty telling of Ian's dedication, especially given his propensity for running away from his problems.

Phew. Okay, nonnie – though we don't agree and I doubt you'll find this answer satisfactory, I hope you see that I have done my best to understand your point of view and treat your arguments fairly and give you a thoughtful response. If you'd like to get back to me and elaborate on your stance, I'd ask that you show me the same courtesy. :)

#asks #i don't even know what to tag this i spent five hours writing it and my brain is mush #meta #i guess?

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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years

Text

Why I (Want To) Love Amphibia

Salutations random people on the internet who probably won't read this. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons. If you've been paying attention to my posts, you would have known that I made a top twenty list of the best-animated series of the 2010s. And if you read my Honorable Mentions list, you would have known that I consider Amphibia one of those shows that, while I like it, I wouldn't go so far as to say that it's one of the best. Don't get me wrong. It's good. But there are issues that I have with Amphibia, and I can't recommend it without being hesitant. I still like it fine, but I doubt some people will be as forgiving as me. So I'm going to explain the quality and faults that the show has, while still being considerate to those who do love it. Because unlike some people who would make a two-hour-long video essay about how much they hate something, I can at least acknowledge that while something doesn't entirely work for me, that doesn't mean it won't work for everyone else. Because there is a reason why this show has such a following...I don't think it's earned, but I won't knock people down when they love something I find passable. And I hope that respect goes both ways as I explain why I (want to) love Amphibia.

Also, this review is going to contain spoilers for the entire series. So if you haven't checked it out yet, I recommend you do it to form your own opinion. Season one is on Disney+, and you're on your own for season two. And I suggest you find a legal way to watch it if you can, because I'm not going to leave a link to a pirating website filled with every animated series and movie you can find. And I'm definitely not going to insert that link into a random letter in this review with the thought that if you have to pirate something, then you might as well work for it. Because that would be crazy.

...

Stop being crazy.

....

Anywho, let's start with:

WHAT I LIKE

The Comedy: Let it be known that this show is funny. Like, really funny. I wouldn't go so far as to say that it's funnier than Gravity Falls, which got me chuckling with every episode, but Amphibia definitely hits more than it misses. There are occasions when the jokes aren't really character-oriented and could be said by anybody in the Plantar Family, but if they're still funny, then who am I to complain. Although there is one issue that I have with the comedy. But I'll save that for when I talk about what I don't like. For now, I can assure you that if you're hoping for some laughs, Amphibia has plenty to offer.

Warnings Against Toxic Relationships: But even the best comedies know when to offer some substance. Because I won't lie, when Anne described what is clearly a toxic friendship in the second episode, I was hooked. I love it when kids shows breach topics that can be important for children down the line. And for the most part, I think Amphibia does it well. There are so many instances that the writers' point out the several red flags that a person should avoid when it comes to a friendship and when it's time to either cut that person from your life and stand up for yourself. One of my favorite episodes is "Prison Break," where Sasha explains how she manipulates people and shows zero remorse for it. Then there's the episode "The Sleepover to End All Sleepovers" that shows how a person's influence can affect others and how much it changes perception as Anne and Marcy still believe they need someone like Sasha in their lives...At least I hope that's what the intention is. Because if the writers are trying to say that Anne and Marcy really need someone like Sasha...Well, I'll save that for my dislikes. Because even though it could use a little polishing, warning kids about toxic relationships is what keeps me hooked into seeing what happens next in this series.

It’s Not Afraid to go Dark: On top of breaking borders with morals intended for kids, I just gotta respect a show for playing around with what's considered "too dark." Especially if that show is on the Disney Channel!

The writers are not afraid to imply that death happens in the world of Amphibia, primarily because it is like a swamp ecosystem filled with predators and food chains. And I feel like because the characters are mostly amphibians, the writers can get away with an entire cave filled with the bones of victims as long as they're not humans. But frogs? No one gives a crap about them. There's a reason they're the ones who get dissected in schools.

Plus, a good majority of the monsters that Anne and the Plantars face are pretty horrifying at times. The crew who work on the show do a great job balancing the line of making these creatures look scary, but never go too far that they'll scar kids for life. Except in the Halloween special...How the f**k did they get away with the monsters in the Halloween special? And while they don't ever show what these monsters do, the implications honestly make things much worse, which again, I kind of respect. It's good to have shows like Amphibia that can scare kids a little bit. Getting through something fictitiously dark helps make kids feel braver and prepare them for the real horrors in the world. Especially since most of these creatures are just exaggerated versions of real-life predators...google them.

The Season One Finale: It was "Reunion" that made me realize that Amphibia has the potential to be amazing...it's also the last episode of season one, so let that sink in.

Joking aside, I honestly do love this episode. It's funny, it brings in elements from other episodes, nearly everybody does something useful, and it all ends with a satisfying and equally gut-wrenching climax. A climax, by the way, that is so perfect that I'm going to do a scene breakdown for why it's so good...so, you know, add that to the to-do list (I have so much s**t to make -_-). "Reunion" has so many elements about what makes a season finale so good that I feel like future writers should take notes for their own series that they plan to make. While I wish every episode of Amphibia had this level of quality, the writers know that the last impression is one of the most important. Because I will defend this show if this is the episode people use to trash it.

Marcy: I will also defend this show if someone trashes Marcy. Trust me, the best way to tell that someone is just hating on Amphibia for little to no reason is if they utter the word, "Marcy is a bad character." That is not true. Marcy is a great character, and I'd go so far as to say she's the best character in the series. She's sweet, adorable, and has a story ten times more interesting than Anne's. Anne learns what a sincere relationship is like through the Plantars, where Marcy falls victim to another manipulative relationship through King Andreas. It's her co-dependency that has the chance to get fleshed out more, and I can't wait to see if she has a moment to break out and form her own path.

Also, in the mass expanse of the multiverse, there exists a world where Amphibia is about the adventures that Marcy had in Newtopia as she uses Dungeons and Dragons logic to get by. And I want to see that universe! Because this clumsy nerd is already a blast to watch with the briefest of cameos. Imagine how much fun she would be if she had her own series!

Sprig: I don't know how much love Sprig gets within the fandom, but I got a feeling that it's not enough. He's funny without being annoying (most of the time), there's a whole lot of heart and sincerity to his actions, and above all else, he's the best friend that Anne needed. When Anne explained her very flawed views about friendship in "Best Fronds," it is clear how essential someone like Sprig is as he teaches Anne what friendship really means. It means caring for each other, supporting each other, making equal sacrifices for one another, and just being on the same page as each other. It is genuinely sweet seeing their friendship bloom, and I honestly hope the Amphibia fandom gives Sprig the amount of appreciation he deserves. Sure, he can be annoying sometimes, but for the most part, he's easily up there as one of my favorite characters.

Wally: Same with Wally! Who would have guessed that a character who appears as an dumb source of comic relief has a level of depth and lovability to him? "Wally and Anne" shows that while he is a nonsensical goofball, he doesn't really care what the frogs of Wartwood think of him. What matters is what he thinks of him. And that is just an incredible lesson to teach kids that just makes me love Wally more.

(It also helps that he's probably the funniest character in the show. I know I said that he's dumb, but when he works, he works.)

Kermit the Frog Cameo: ...It's Kermit the Frog, y'all. I physically can't hate him. Especially since this is the perfect show for him to make a cameo in!

WHAT I DON’T LIKE

Anne’s Character: I don't have a problem with Anne. I think she's a serviceable protagonist, and I love the fact that she's Thai, offering a form of Asian representation other than Chinese, Japanese, or Korean. But here's the problem with Anne: After a season and a half, I still don't know what her character is. If you were to ask me to describe a Disney show protagonist within one sentence, I could do it effortlessly. Watch:

Star Butterfly: An adrenaline junky of a warrior princess who slowly learns to be responsible with each passing season.

Luz Noceda: A generous nerd that obsesses about fantasy and fiction, who still understands when to take a step in reality when the moment calls for it.

Scrooge McDuck: An old Scottish miser who has the heart of adventure and is a duck that almost loves his family as he loves his money.

For Anne, I don't know where to start because her personality is so inconsistent. Sometimes she makes friends with others without even trying, and other times, she gets on others' nerves easily. Sometimes she's a thrillseeker with the heart of adventure, and other times, she's a person who prefers to hang back and avoid doing work. And sometimes she's the only sane character with logical advice, and other times she's the most insane character who needs advice. Now, you could argue that these are all character traits that make Anne multidimensional. But if you ask me, it seems like her personality is dependent on what the writers want her to be for the episode. Someone like Luz going back and forth between two traits only works if there is a dominant personality trait that takes over the other. If Luz spends an entire episode being angry and serious, it proves that there's more to her than just a character that's nerdy and optimistic. But it's clear she is still that lovable nerd by having her say a corny line like, "Talk to the glyphs, Witch!" But because Anne has so many personality traits, it's hard to tell which is the norm and what is out of character. Case in point: Having Anne obsess over hang-gliding in one episode and doing a puzzle in the next is off as neither correlates with each other. Nor do they tell me who Anne is, other than the fact that she's clearly a character lacking a singular identity. And seeing how she's the main character, the one audiences are supposed to root for and identify with, it's probably not a good thing.

The Story: For the record, I have no problems with the story itself...the way it's written, however...

First off, there's too much filler. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, as filler episodes have the potential to be fun when written well. The problem is that relying on filler instead of telling your story can leave some people (me) uninterested and angry. And the thing is, there is a perfect way to avoid filler that doesn't involve telling the overarching narrative: Introduce personal plotlines. Look at The Owl House, for example. There are several character-oriented narrative threads that get introduced within the first few episodes. Such as Luz learning magic, Eda's curse, her relationship with Lilith, and Amity's redemption. Therefore, The Owl House avoids any filler episodes just as long as it focuses on any of these plotlines and even introduces new ones. Amphibia has the plotlines, but it rarely focuses on them. Especially since the story takes way too long to develop.

Every time I think the show is finally going to start moving forward and we can continue the story, there are like ten more filler episodes where everything comes to a screeching halt. Now, to be fair, there is an explanation why we're forced to wait for the story to move forward, and it's because the characters are forced to wait as well. But, even then, there could have been better ways to pad out that waiting than just adding filler. For example, I may not have been forced into an alternate universe where nearly everything wants to kill me, but if I was, I WOULD SPEND EVERY WAKING MINUTE I HAVE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT A WAY BACK! In the first season, how many episodes does Anne spend trying to figure out the mystery of how she got there and how to go home? Two. There are two whole episodes, out of thirty-nine, where Anne tries to figure things out...That is insane to me. But to be fair, season two is doing a much better job at moving things along...but it doesn't change the fact that the writers are kind of bad at telling their own story.

There are two episodes, "Anne Vs. Wild" and "Lost in Newtopia," where the story continues, but it's only in the last few minutes. The problem is that if you take those endings out, the episodes themselves do not change a bit. BUT because those are significant and essential moments for the plot, you can't take them out. Resulting in scenes that, while intriguing, come across as awkward in the long run. So now, my question is why. Why is the story handled so poorly? And I have one theory.

It Feels Like the Writers Can’t Decide What they Want the Show to be: Sometimes it seems like Amphibia is written as a pure slice of life series like Big City Greens. However, there are times when the show seems like it's intended to mix slice of life with fantasy like Gravity Falls. Now here's the problem: Big City Greens and Gravity Falls are two very different shows in terms of storytelling, tone, and character work. Big City Greens is an episodic comedy series where character development is unimportant, and the adventures rarely go beyond just being wacky. As for Gravity Falls, it is a show that is semi-serialized where the character development is constant, and the fantasy-adventures are always prevalent in every episode. And there are several episodes of Amphibia that could be a part of either show. Episodes like "Stakeout," "Lily Pad Thai," and "Little Frog Town" have plots that I can see being in Big City Greens. Then there are episodes like "The Domino Effect," "Toad Tax," and "Marcy at the Gates" that I could see being in Gravity Falls. These two groups of episodes are vastly different from one another that it causes Amphibia to feel disjointed in the process. Usually, I'm a fan when a series mixes different genres together, but do you want to know why something like Gravity Falls does such a great job at mixing slice of life with fantasy-adventure? Because, as I said, fantasy-adventures are always present in every episode. "Dipper vs. Manliness," "Boss Mabel," and "Roadside Attraction" each have the most basic slice of life plots of the show, but there is always a fantasy element or a monster to fight. There are entire episodes of Amphibia where there is no monster, and even when there is, it doesn't have the same amount of tension and weight that the creatures in Gravity Falls have weekly. A show like Big City Greens doesn't have to worry about monsters or evil villains every week because it doesn't need to. It's a show about the wacky adventures of a family of farmers adjusting to city life. Why would they have to worry about a monster every week when they just have to worry about each other. If Amphibia was the same way then there would be no issue. But because if it wants to be a mix of slice of life with fantasy, then it does need to worry about a monster every week. I usually try to defend shows that try to play both sides, but this show has to be the one occasion where I have to say pick one or the other. Because the writers tried hard to be both, and personally, I don't think they did a good job.

Characters Don’t. Stop. SCREAMING!: It's here we move on from what's objectively wrong with Amphibia to the things that just bother me personally...and this is one of those things. I get it. An over-the-top reaction to something minimal can be funny on occasion...but it's never "on occasion" with this show. Nearly every episode has characters screaming to get a laugh, and most of the time, it's more annoying than it is funny. It's Hop Pop who does this the most, and I just feel so bad for Bill Farmer. That voice already seems like it's hard to do, so being forced to scream and yell with it for the sake of comedy can't do him any favors. Other shows, especially ones on the Disney Channel, have characters overreact for the sake of humor, but it's Amphibia that I feel like it relies on this the most. I'm sure some people aren't bothered by this, but I am, and this is my review, so I'm mentioning it.

Poly: Speaking of things that probably don't bother other people...I feel like I'm making some enemies with this one. Because, boy, do I not like Polly. Her voice is annoying, she mostly causes problems for the family, and to me, her entire character seems pointless. No, really. Think about it. Anne is the main character, Sprigs acts as her emotional support, and Hop Pop acts as the voice of reason. What's Polly's purpose? Because all she adds are unnecessary jokes, character traits that could have gone to anybody, and acting more as a plot device than an actual character. The only justification for her that I can think of is that she adds gender balance to the main cast. Which would be more than acceptable if there was a point to her existence. But I think it's pretty evident with her exclusion from the original pilot pitch for the program that Polly's personality is practically pointless...that is most likely the only alliteration I'll ever do for a review, so you have better appreciated it.

If you like Polly, then more power to you. For me, I just don't enjoy her.

Sasha: Oh, nelly. I can already see the hateful messages I'm gonna get from this.

Now, as a character, I actually do like Sasha. I think her personality is interesting enough to dissect, and I think she acts as a perfect antagonist to Anne, the Plantars, and even Marcy if you want to get into it. My problem relies on how much the fanbase is already jumping on the "Forgive Sasha" train. Because, "Aw, she's just like Catra and Amity! So sweet, tortured, shippable with the main character, and--" STOP IT! Stop it right now...and think. With Catra and Amity, you see the environment they grew up in, you feel the abuse they deal with, you understand the reasoning of their actions, and you come to forgive them for who they are...At least for Amity, you can. For Catra, it requires more of an argument. But Sasha? Did we see the same cruel mistreatment to her friends? Did we hear the same coldness in her voice as she describes how to manipulate people? Did we witness the same damage she's done to Anne and Marcy in how they perceive healthy relationships? Apparently not! Because while everyone else is already on the same page that Sasha deserves redemption, I'm sitting here thinking that maybe it's for the best to be a little more hesitant. So far, we have yet to see any way to understand her reasoning and have yet to see how she deserves forgiveness. Sure, Sasha was willing to sacrifice herself for Anne, but did Sasha really earn that? It works as a sudden realization that Anne deserves better, but Sasha has yet to do anything that proves she can be better. Especially since the next time we see her, she's trying to help a fascist ruler get back up on his feet...THINK ABOUT THAT!

But, sure, she's meant to be forgiven. That can work. Because while Sasha shows kids the type of people they should avoid, she can also work as a warning for what kids should avoid becoming. That is a great thing to teach...but it can also be potentially dangerous. Because if incorrectly interpreted, Sasha can show kids that every person who seems toxic just needs a chance to change. And that is the last thing you want to teach, given how very few toxic people actually change. You want to know why The Owl House gets away with an equally dangerous lesson about how not every bully is awful? It's because it shows two sides of the spectrum by proving why someone like Amity did the things she's done while also saying that characters like Boscha and Mattholomule are just a-holes for the sake of being a-holes. Sasha has no one to compare to. Sure, there's King Andreas, but he's a government figure. They're built to be manipulative. Sasha needs someone that's on her level of cruelty to prove that while some people can change and have reason to do so, others don't. And seeing how I don't think she deserves to change, at least not yet, that is an issue. It's the biggest issue out of all the issues I have with this show.

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So, yeah, I think it's pretty evident how I feel about Amphibia when I can write paragraphs about the stuff I don't like while barely being able to talk about the things I do like. Because I do enjoy this show. It's funny, most of the characters are enjoyable, and its discussion on toxic relationships still has me hooked to see what happens next. My issue lies with inconsistency. The main protagonist, storytelling, genre, and thematic purposes are all inconsistent. I'm interested enough to watch more, and who knows, maybe I'll make a final verdict review once the series comes to an end. For now, if you had to ask me what I’m excited to make a return, I don't know if I'll be willing to hop to it by saying Amphibia.

(Also, if you're still looking for that link for that pirating website I mentioned, now would probably be a good time to tell you that I really never did put one in. I told you, that would be crazy...That should teach you to try to break the law.)

#amphibia #what i thought about #why i want to love #anne boonchuy #sasha waybright #marcy wu #sprig plantar #polly plantar

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spnopineapples · 4 years

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ALRIGHT PEOPLE. I'm READY.

LAST OF US 2 SPOILERS!!!!

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.......

Are ya gone yet? Have you scrolled past if you don't want to see?

....

Alright. *CRACKS KNUCKLES AND NECK* Let's jump on into this!

First off I'm done with the game.

Second off..... THIS GAME WAS FUCKING PHENOMENAL!!! 10/10

The ending litterally killed me. Finished 2 hours ago,talked the ear off of my best friend for about 1 and a half hours and gushed and lamented the whole time. Cried for about 20 minutes by myself. Had an existential crisis. So on so on. And now I'm here, in the middle of an online meeting cause, ya know, Corona, muted with no camera on, because I'd much rather be typing out this dissertation.

Y'ALL. Go play this. It is AWESOME.

Now for the third and probably longest bit of this. My rebuttal to the bad reviewers:

I still contend that the bad reviews are 1 of 2 reasons with a little of a 3rd mixed in to both. #1. Being that people are pissed they killed off Joel and think the story did a disservice to the characters. #2. People are pissed because they think Naughty Dog was pushing a liberal agenda with a heavily muscled female antagonist/protagonist, a gay Ellie, and a transgender side character, Lev. The mixed in #3 is the extensive violence which I do contend was a lot. Yeah LoU1 was definitely violent, but damned this one got dark. And that's something coming from me because I am a fan of gratuitous violence.

Let me tackle these real quick. I'll be brief about #2 here though.

IN REBUTTAL TO REASON #2 - If you honestly didn't like LoU2 because of this reason (which I explained in my previous post about how IT IS logical that Abby be built the way she is and how Naughty Dog was definitely NOT shoving this or ANY of the others i mentioned in anyone's face in my opinion) you're in need of some corrective thinking and you should re-evaluate your ideas and realize that your opinion on these social issues doesn't matter and is wrong. None of these things make the game story illogical or bad. Bottom line: there are people like this in the world and their stories in this game drive the plot. It doesn't belittle the previous games or detract from the current game at all. You're just bigoted. Calm your tits and don't play the game if it upsets you so much. Pull a Seth and bury the hatchet. Make some steak sandwiches.

But I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and imagine that the majority of the bad reviewers were more pissed at reason #1, Joel's Death. But real quick.

IN REBUTTAL OF REASON #3 -If you hated the game because of the amount of violence, do realize that the violence was the point of the story this time AND IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE A DRAG ON YOUR SOUL. LoU1 was about finding love again in a violent world. Love being in the foreground and the violence a backdrop, which is why the violence didn't feel so in your face even though it was PLENTY violent. LoU2 was about succumbing to the violent world because of losing love. Violence being the foreground and tainted love (insert song here ya bastards) being the backdrop that drives it. AND HERE IS MY FAVORITE PART PLEASE READ THIS PART AT LEAST IF YOU DECIDE NOT TO READ THE WHOLE THING.

Think of the two endings. LoU1 WAS a story ABOUT finding love in a violent world BUT ENDED with Joel committing a violent act to protect his love (killing all the Fireflies, 1 of which was Abby's father and the driving reason for LoU2's main plot, and DOOMING THE WORLD TO INFECTION AND DAMNING HUMANITY). LoU2 WAS a story ABOUT losing love and reacting with violence BUT ENDED with Ellie doing a peaceful act (allowing Abby to leave alive with Lev) because of the love she had for Joel (that flashback scene of Joel playing guitar when Ellie decided to forgive him for the violence and lie at the end of LoU1).

DO Y'ALL SEE HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS?

There NEEDED to be a LoU2 because LoU1 ended with violence and a lie. LoU2 fulfilled this with an ending of forgiveness driven by a memory of love from the first game.

I've read a lot of the bad reviews where they mention the violence became too much and ruined the game. And that Ellie wouldn't act like that. First off Ellie totally would, fuck off with that noise. Second off THAT'S THE POINT. This was a story about how revenge is cyclic violence and it doesn't end until someone makes the decision to end it!

BOTTOM LINE: I felt ragged 2/3's of the way thru this game because of the violence, but that's the point of the story. Revenge is not worth it. Especially when it's with people like Abby and Ellie. Because neither are villians. AND BOY HOWDY DID IT TAKE ME A LONG TIME TO COME TO TERMS WITH THIS. Because I HATED ABBY FOR KILLING JOEL. When I first started playing her I DID NOT WANT TO BECAUSE I WAS ANGRY WITH HER. I litterraly felt dirty playing her. But this game did something amazing to get me around to appreciating her character. NOT LIKING HER CHARACTER, but appreciating. And I will tackle this in my next rebuttal.

IN REBUTTAL OF REASON # 1 - Let's talk about Joel's death.

I WILL NOT LIE TO YALL.

I was mightily upset about his death. At first I thought it to be a disservice to a beloved character. But then I realized something. See above about Joel's actions. He killed all those Fireflies and DAMNED THE WORLD. Not only that it is specifically mentioned in both LoU1 and in this game that Joel and Tommy did horrible things before they met Ellie and before Jackson. JOEL WAS NOT A GOOD GUY.

I think what people are upset about is the REALNESS of this game. A lot of other game developers don't do what Naughty Dog has done. Naughty Dog did not shy away from Joel's character flaws and his past wrongs! In fact, all the user's that use the reason for hating the game as "too many plotholes" Y'ALL FUCKING PLAYIN. More on that later.

Back to what I was saying about realness. In the real world, Joel's death and the brutality of it and suddenness of it is actually a very logical event that would occur. Abby doesn't KNOW Joel like we do. All she knows is this guy killed her father and a lot of her friends and damned humanity in the process. LoU1 is not a happy game. Might I remind yall about Sam and Henry? But his death was not "sudden". And it didn't steal Joel from us. I actually really enjoyed all the flashbacks to him. We got more than enough time and I actually feel as if the time we got with Joel was better because of his death so early in the game. DO NOT TELL ME THAT THAT NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM FLASHBACK DIDN'T FULFILL EVERY FEELING NEED.

And now for the wrap up - the big hangup that I see of those who hated Joel's Death is that the story didn't redeem it. They couldn't "buy" Ellie forgiving Abby at the end.

As I stated I will not lie. I was worried for about 2/3s of the way through this game that the bad user reviews were accurate and that the story sucked because I couldn't see where the writers were going. All I saw was senseless death of characters that I had loved and that I was coming to love. I straight up love Jesse by the way. It wasn't until Abby met Lev and Yara that I started seeing the majesty of this revenge story.

BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS I HATE FUCKING REVENGE STORIES WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER IS LIKE, NO, THEY WOULDN'T WANT ME TO DO THIS. Before this game I'd be like "miss me with that bullshit" but after today I would say "give it to me like this." This actually felt real. And boy was it raw. Guys, the reason I started forgiving Abby is because of her decision to help Yara and Lev. Because it was her attempt to right the wrong of killing Joel which was eating her alive. Her and Owen and Mel. Guys. She is Joel. Why the hell do you think Joel did what he did for Ellie in the first game? Because he liked her at first site? BULLSHIT. He did it because Tess told him to do something good for once. IF YOU ARE UPSET WITH ABBY THEN YOU SHOULD BE UPSET WITH JOEL. I get it. Abby had to earn that with her story because at the beginning I'd have said leave her to the clickers. BUT CONTRARY TO THE USERS OF THIS REASONING SHE DID DESERVE HER REDEMPTION. The game shows over and over and over again that Abby isn't some mustache twirling villian who deserves instant death. She is complicated. She cares and she hates and she loves. She knows what's right and wrong and tries to do right as much as possible but she's human and she gets angry. Anger means you care.. and she cared about her father. She's a good human too because good humans feel shitty about doing shitty things and if you are observant at all you can tell immediately with Abby, as we play her in her Seattle Day 1, that she has doubts and isn't comfortable with her role in how Joel died. SHE DESERVED BEING FORGIVING BY ELLIE AT THE END. AND IN THE SAME TOKEN ELLIE DESERVED FORGIVING HER AND BEING FORGIVEN BY ABBY. It is very clearly obvious by the end of the game that Ellie could not reconcile her revenge killings with her best memories of Joel or with the actions she had to take to get there. Also it is of very important note here that Ellie stopped drowning Abby because of a flash image of Joel playing guitar. And then later on actually seeing the memory associated with that image that stopped her you can understand why Ellie did stop outside of just being as tired of violence as Abby was. The memory shows Joel and Ellie agreeing to try to forgive Joel for lying to her about the Fireflies and denying her her purpose. All this the night before he is killed. Note what Joel says. "If God gave me the chance to do it all over again. I would have done the same thing." Just that fucking devotion he has for Ellie shines through and she really understands his reasons for what he did. Still doesn't feel as if she can forgive him. THAT IS IMPORTANT. She DOES NOT agree with his decision. She understands it, but doesn't agree. But still decides to try and forgive. GUYS. That's exactly what she understands about Abby. Joel was sorry but he still would have done it. Same with Abby. There's a reason that image popped up as she was killing Abby and not the image of his beaten up face.

Remember that line from LoU2? Tess said it. As she is confessing to Joel that she was bit. "We're shitty people, Joel. It's been that way for a long time!" And Joel says "No, we are survivors!"

Y'all don't think for one second that Joel wouldn't have gone after that Soldier who shot Sarah if Tommy hadn't shot him? Y'all kidding yourselves.

Abby realizes this truth in the end. She realizes the part she played in enhancing and playing into the fucking violence and shittiness. Staining and tainting herself in the process. She just wanted to be clean. And Ellie just wanted to be clean.

Bombing this game is doing a fucking disservice to the emotional complexity of this story. It's been a long time since I've been that emotionally twisted.

This game isn't preachy. This game makes something clear that alot of other revenge stories get wrong. Revenge makes otherwise good people do shitty things and the shitty things taint us for the rest of our lives. At least Ellie and Abby stopped themselves before they tainted all their being.

Yeah we're shitty people. But we don't have to be.

#the last of us #the last of us 2 spoilers #the last of us part 2 #the last of us ii #the last of us 2 #I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT I HAD TO RANT #FUCKING GREAT GAME #Hopefully y'all don't kill me over this #need to go post reviews so that this game gets the user rating it actually deserves #a 10 out of 10

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revchainsaw · 3 years

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Bumblebee (2018)

Good Evening worshippers, and welcome! Today the Cult of Cult goes a little more mainstream than usual. It's been a while since i've tackled a big Hollywood superhero film. But I do believe that these sorts of films will be remembered fondly my small groups of people in the future, especially the smaller films that are being overshadowed by the big bad MCU, films like 2018s Bumblebee.

The Messsage

Bumblebee was originally released as a prequel to the Transformers franchise that had started all the way back in 2007. However, reboots had really hit the market as a way to breath new life into struggling franchises, and the Transformers series had already gone to just about every absurd extreme you could imagine. No changes were made to the movie as it was released, but with it's more childish and heartfelt tone, and a new aesthetic that was softer, smoother, and all around just generally more pleasing to the eye, I think it was a wise choice to rebrand Bumblebee as a new beginning.

Our story is of two friends from two very different worlds and how they came together. Our first character is Bumblebee, then known as B- number sign/it doesn't really matter. Not yet Bumblebee is a soldier set with securing a safe location for the Autobots to regroup and make their home as they suffer a pretty serious defeat on cybertron at the hands of the tyrannical Decepticons. Optimus Prime, here again voiced by Peter Cullen and looking so much more like himself, assigns this task to Bumblebee promising him that they will meet him there when the time comes. Then Optimus fucks off for the rest of the run time making way for our little hero.

Bumblebee lands on Earth and is immediately set upon by John Cena and his military goon squad. It probably would have been wise for Bumblebee to avoid John Cena but in his defense, he couldn't see him. Hardy har har. In his attempt to flee his voice box is damaged, he seeks sanctuary by taking the form of a run down little VW bug, and suffers from amnesia.

Then we have Charlie. Charlie is not like other girls. She likes cars, all the retro music, which wasn't retro when the movie takes place, so I'm supposed to just think she's a rocker but it kinda seems like she'll listen to just about anything. I think in 2018 liking Motorhead and The Smiths (who are used ad nauseum in this movie) is perfectly common, but I feel like in the 80s that was a much different and much older attitude to take.

Anyway Charlie's poor family lives in a super fucking nice house and are poor because the dialogue keeps insisting they are so it must be true despite all the shit they have that actually poor people would sell blood and teeth to attain, but hell, this is Hollywood and Hollywood poor is like regular people upper middle class. Charlies family is so poor that instead of giving her a one time graduation/birthday present to buy a part for a car she already has, they just give her a moped, She also spends all her time at a pull apart where the manager (who might be her uncle that wasn't super clear) is willing to just give her a Volkswagen so I don't understand why she didn't already have the project car up and running. Whatever, it's a plot contrivance. All you need to know is that Charlie is tenacious and hard around the edges cuz her dad is dead and she's not yet mature enough to process that in a healthy way. Maybe her character arch will teach her to let others in, we'll have to find out.

There's also a wacky nerd named Memo, and some bad guys, and John Cena. They are all also pretty archetypal and contrived and don't really do anything of note that isn't just filling a beat that this kind of movie needs to walk. Charlie starts Bumblebee up, discovers he's a robot and the two begin to bond. Charlie learns to make a friend, and bumblebee is learning about himself. They get into hijinks and get revenge on a bully girl who makes Regina George look like a saint, she pretty much only picks on Charlie exclusively for having a dead dad.

The moment Bumblebee is woken back up, some technology goof em up that both he and Charlie are unaware of brings two Decepticon baddies into the picture. I don't remember their names, but since I love The Venture Brothers let's say they can be "Jet Boy and Jet Girl". Jet Boy and Jet Girl are sometimes cars, sometimes various flying military vehicles, and they make friends with the deep state and plan to get all the adrenochrome from all the orphans, or just to go find Bumblebee and beat his ass good cuz their bad guys. Let me tell y'all though, Jet Boy and Jet Girl are so bad that they don't even care that the government is listening when they reveal that they are planning on bringing a Decepticon Invasion and after they rough up Bumblebee real good they are going to destroy all life on this planet. So they start by killing a military scientist.

John Cena is after Bumblebee and he's homies with Jet Boy and Jet Girl until the military scientist butt dials him and he hears the evil plan. John Cena goes from heel to face and helps Bumblebee and Charlie save the day. It's a giant CG clusterfuck climax a la any superhero film in the last 10 years and I basically stopped watching. BumbleBee pulls a Hellraiser on Jet Boy, and then he hits Jet Girl with a freaking boat. Charlie uses her diving skills do dive down and save him, but he's a Giant Robot and he was okay and it was literally pointless for her to to except as a way to show that her character has completed her arch by doing the thing that was representative of her connection with her lost father.

Bumblebee turns into the Camaro from the first movie, meets up with Optimus prime, and the stage is set for this prequel to squeeze more prequels out. So it wasn't very creative, but was it bad? Let's find out.

Please Stand to receive the Benediction.

Best Aspect: Transform the Franchise

Bumblebee was directed by Travis Knight of Laika fame and it shows. This movie marks a stylistic change in the transformers franchise, as in it doesn't look like utter dog shit, but it also represents in many ways a tonal shift. It does hold on to a lot of gross sleaze that has unfortunately been forcibly jammed into the DNA of the franchise but it also attempts to be a more heartfelt entry. The characters of Bumblebee might all be sort of a waste of time, but at least they are doing something with emotions, even if the emotions of the characters are only explored as deeply as a children's cartoon I'm glad they are there. In the previous installments the only thing the characters did between running from action piece to seizure inducing action piece was drool over underage girls like a bunch of chimpanzees at the facility where they test experimental E.D. meds. It was nice to see that at least somewhat tampered. This transformers movie feels more like it's for kids and young teenagers, and strangely that more friendly tone makes for a much less juvenile product.

Worst Aspect: Remember I Love the 80s from the 2000s

I hope you really like Stranger Things. I do, but because Stranger Things was so successful it' s going to be everywhere. Not true Stranger Things just 80s nostalgia porn. This 80s nostalgia is going to be forced on you whether you like it or not, and it's not going to be fun. It's gonna be in your shows, in your music, in your Sunday like Bacon in 2010. It's that or Marvel Franchise Brand Whedonisms. Bumblebee is that brave movie that says, "Why not both?" It would seem fitting that a property as quintessentially 80s as Transformers should feel completely comfortable doing a period piece set in the 80's but it's so fucking half hearted it's depressing. It wasn't done to appreciate the roots of the IP, it was done to cash in on a trend and it feels it. All they did was throw up a date and insufferably force an 80s soundtrack down your throat as if that was enough to convince you that this movie needed to be set during this time. Other than that you could have told me this film was set in 2007 and I couldn't tell you any different.

Best Character: Charlie's an Angel

I liked Charlie. Sure her Arc is predictable, her taste is dumb, and she isn't exactly a master of her own destiny to any degree. But at least she is a woman in a transformers movie who's got something going on. Sure she's defined entirely by grief, but that sure is better than pretending that being able to work on cars is a feminist character trait instead of a weird fetish thing. They certainly do that thing with Charlie, but at least it's not the only thing they throw at the wall. Bumblebee is by no means out of the woods in this department, but it garners a lot of goodwill for trying. Like a racist uncle who just started his journey out of ignorance, but hasn't yet realized he has to stop asking mortifying questions to the barista at Starbucks. Okay, maybe that's an extreme metaphor. I'm saying that perhaps Charlie is not a great character but she's a great character for a Transfomers movie.

Worst Character: It's JOOOOHHHNNNN CEEEENA!!!!

Why is John Cena in this movie? I don't hate the guy, but his character seems pointless. You could remove him from the movie completely and replace him with any one of the random military goons at any point and it changes nothing. What was with that dumb salute at the end? It seems like they put him in this movie in post and it was just to pump up cast list. I wish he was given anything to work with. I can't remember his characters name, and it's not like John Cena did a bad job, I was just annoyed every time they kept giving him hero shots. I felt like I was watching a trailer for a different movie.

Best Actor: Optimal Primo!

Every time Peter Cullen speaks I want to listen. There's a reason they haven't had Chris Pratt or somebody with a bigger name come in and take over the role at this point. He's why the audience keep coming back. Peter Cullen IS Optimus Prime, and there's no changing that. He also wins twice. He's the best actor in the movie AND he's barely in the movie. Good call Peter.

Worst Actor: Mean Girls 2, Meaner and Girlier

I don't want to be cruel so I'm not going to go into to much detail, but there's an actress in this film who's performance is so mustache twirlingly evil and stupid that it ruined my suspension of disbelief when i knew going in that i was about to endure a 2 hour toy commercial about robots that turn into cars. Beldar Conehead was a more convincing human being than Tina.

Best Effect: Goo Be Gone

I really appreciated when the bad guys shot the government nerd into a blast of snot. That was pretty fun for me. Best part of the movie hands down.

Worst Effect: Live Action?

Bumblebee is a cartoon. It's a great looking cartoon but it doesn't sell itself that way. If we were doing a Roger Rabbit thing I'd have no gripes. However, I think CG is just getting worse. I'm criticizing this and it's still lightyears better than the previous entry's on the franchise. No transformation or fight sequence in Bumble Bee had me straining to make sense of what I was looking at. I think it was a great idea to start using some basic shapes and outlines to these characters, and return somewhat to their 80s designs. But at certain points, especially when there were no humans in the shot, i was pretty convinced I was watching Clone Wars. There may not be anyway around this, as the Transformers concept might not be able to be pulled off in any more effective manner. It's a minor gripe, but I just didn't think it looked like anything other than a very expensive cartoon, and in this franchise that's a compliment, because it least it looked like SOMETHING!

Best Scene: Space Opera

I am not a Transformers fan. I missed the boat on the cartoon as a kid. I would sometimes catch it at friends houses but I was more into Batman, Star Wars, and Ninja Turtles. By the time I came onto the scene the world had moved on to Beast Wars. I did one day arbitrarily decide that my favorite Transformer was Sound Wave. He looked great in this. I am a big fan of the return to form with a lot of the character designs in this. They really did keep the things that worked from the other adaptations, and they are steadily removing the things that didn't. For this reason, the scenes on Cybertron, particularly the battle with Soundwave (i prefer for personal reasons) looked great and were exciting to watch. I remember thinking Cybertron used to look like a Marilyn Manson shot a music video from inside to dumpster. This is so much better.

Worst Scene: Blocking the Box

There's a scene in Bumblebee where Charlie's family decides the best way to save their daughter was to cause a pile up of vehicles in an intersection, and it's pure contrived writing that saved any character in that sequence from being killed in a horrific traffic accident. It was stupid, played for laughs, and it wasn't exciting as much as it was anxiety inducing. I also thought that there was no reason the covert military group covering up extraterrestrial life wouldn't just disappear this family of fucking morons in their little piece of shit car. The logic of the scene was just so childish like, "No they won't hit me, I'm a good person."

Summary

Bumblebee may be remembered fondly in a decade. I think especially if the Transformers franchise were to end here. It didn't get the publicity of the other films, and that really is a shame. For my money, this was the best Transformers movie so far. I was very tempted to give Bumblebee a C, it does just enough to right what was wrong from the other movies to make me appreciate all that work. This movie has heart, and if you are at all into Transformers then l think you should see it. It's still pretty stupid, and pretty basic. It's not offering anything new to the genre, and it feels like a commercial for more movies. I really wish we could just get movies that want to tell a story. I thought it over and decided that it wasn't fair not to grade Bumblebee on it's own merits. Bumblebee is substantially better than the films that preceded it, but that's not saying a lot, when the films that preceded it are joyless exercises in self abuse.

Overall Grade: D

#Transformers #Bumblebee #Optimus Prime #Action #Adventure #Car #Super Hero #Robot #Scifi #Grade D #D #Grade: D #2018 #2010s #(D)

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moody-cowdaddy · 5 years

Text

Friends in Low Places [Part 1]

Arthur Morgan x Reader | Imagine #1

Summary: You bite off more than you can chew when you wind up in the muddy little town known as Valentine for the night.

Category: Action, Drama, Fluff, First meeting.

××××

"Full house, fellas!" You exclaimed, slamming down a fist full of worn poker cards on the saloon table.

You had landed yourself in the small town of Valentine in New Hanover a month ago. You didn't tend to hang around one spot too long, you always found trouble, or at least, trouble found you.

You had been on your own for the majority of your life. You had to grow up fast. Both parents had died when you were very young, so you spent most of your life in an orphanage. But, being the troublemaker that you were, you were always getting into mischief whether it was fighting, or running off. After more than a few squabbles, the headmasters at the orphanage couldn't take much more, and you were sent off to a strict refinement school.

While you learned to be a little more lady-like, the rebellious streak in you stayed put. Once you were old enough, you headed out on your own. You had seen a lot of the world already at such a young age, and you were planning on seeing more of it. You always found yourself going from town to town and meeting a lot of people along the way. You were very much a woman of the world.

The men around the table all groaned in disappointment when they looked down to see that you had won yet another round at the poker table. The saloon was lively and kicking that night. It was filled to the brim with people from town and others like you who were just passing through and needed a place to hold up for the night. The drinks flowed freely, the conversations and people inside grew more rowdy by the minute. It wasn't a surprise how you witnessed more than a few fights here and there from some drunkards that night.

"Damn. I fold, woman," one of the older gentleman at the table groaned.

He had a greying beard that almost reached down to his shoulders. His tarnished rancher clothing letting you his livelyhood wasn't with easy work.

"C'mon Willard, don't ya wanna stay for another round? I'm not done takin' your day's pay yet," you smiled cheekily.

He downed the rest of the whiskey in his glass, "I ain't stickin' 'round for that'un. I gotta ranch to keep."

"I'm afraid I'll have to say the same," Jack, the other gentleman at the table spoke up.

He was a much different breed from the rest of the patrons. He had a very posh evening suit on, and his accent sounded as if he was from a more upscale city like Blackwater or Saint Denis. He was definitely a stranger in these parts where hardworking people and outlaws seemed to be the only real inhabitants.

Jack was the small glimmer of a near future; a future where outlaws and simple way of living was to be done away with. It was a way of life no one wanted anymore. A whole new world was coming, both literally and figuratively.

You scoffed and finished off your own drink, "Well, it's been fun, boys. Maybe I'll see y'all around again."

"Maybe, if I have a cent left to my name," Willard said gruffly as he left the table and disappeared into the crowd.

"I may stick around for another drink or two. Take in the sights," Jack spoke, flashing you a coquettish smile.

A smile small formed on you lips as you gave him a nod, obliging him. You didn't fancy him much. He was rather big-headed and his conversation skills were dull. You were more-so entertaining him out of the need for cash. It wasn't a secret that you didn't have a job, or a husband to take care of you. You never were much of a woman to settle down with a man for just the sake of stability, anyway.

You made most of your money by beating the pants off of arrogant drunks at poker in saloons like this, or anything else that could be made into a gamble, but your main source of funds came from robbing. Though, you did your best not to rob anyone who was actually innocent, that never sat right with you. But Jack.. He seemed like the type of prick that would steal candy from a kid and then ask why it's crying.

So, as the night went on, the saloon got louder and the whiskey got better. You had taken a few shots, but you seemed to hold your liquor better than half the men around here. Jack was beginning to slurr, while his pomade slicked hair was now disheveled and clinging to his face as he held onto the bar. He was good and loaded; bad for him, but good for you. It don't seem like it'd take much of a fuss to get whatever valuables he had on him, and you had already spotted a beautiful, gold pocketwatch that was hanging in his waistcoat.

You turned to him, buttoning up your old leather trailcoat. Your wardrobe always seemed to change depending on your situation. Some days you'd be as ladylike as any other gal, as you were clothed in a dress with a tightly clinched waist thanks to the corsets you wore, and other days you were what would have been your refinement headmistress' worst nightmare when you dressed like the outlaw that you truly were at heart.

"I'm feeling a bit peckish. Mind walkin' a lady back to her room?" You mustered up a charming smile, gesturing your hand towards the door.

You had taken up residence at the hotel across the street for time being. Jack seemed to have no quarrel about this by any means. He took the last sip of whiskey from his glass and turned to you, jutting out his arm for you to take it.

"It'd be my pleasure, miss (Y/N)," he spoke.

You gave him a nod as you intertwined your arm with his. The two of you set off for the hotel, the walk would give you the time you needed to come up with a satisfactory plan, one that wouldn't land you in Valentine county jail. You quickly decided that leading him into your room would be best, and once you do, you'd knock him out with the butt of your gun, empty his pockets and get the hell outta town. You had pretty much overstayed your welcome here anyway, and you were growing wearing of this sloppy, muddy town.

After stomping through the muggy streets, you made it back over to the porch of the hotel, and you received your fair share of dirty glances from a few old crones who saw you as you walked through the entrance, leading a man upstairs. You already knew what it was that they were thinking, the town had more than it's fair share of ladies of the night, but you were not one of them. Of course robbing people could probably be considered more immoral than prostitution, but it was your method of choice. It also had an element of fun to it, you had to admit.

"Would you like to come in for one more drink?" You turned to Jack while standing outside your door.

A coy smirk tugged at his lips, "Yes ma'am, I would."

You hummed, turning around to open your door. You needed to work fast, get the job done and hit the road as quick as possible, so you led him inside of your room, closing the door tightly begind you. You took in a small breath as you turned around to Jack who was standing behind you. He was a tad wobbly on foot, and that was good. You gave a polite smile as you stepped over to a small mahogany table near the tall chester drawer that sat in the middle of the room. You lifted the small, crystal pitcher that was filled halfway with the familiar whiskey and poured a generous amount into the glass before handing it over to Jack.

"Good 'nuff?" You asked with a smile.

"That'll do it," he chuckled, eyeing the full glass, reaching out for it.

You perched yourself against the chester drawer as you watched him down the liquor, just waiting. He gulped it down halfway before coughing, he took a breath before setting it down onto the table.

"You've peaked my curiosity," he said, shifting his dark eyes to you.

"Have I now?" You blinked at him.

He nodded, "What is a woman like yourself doing all alone here anyway? Surely you've had suitors," he shrugged, eyeing you.

You studied him for a moment, his face seemed to have gone mostly blank and emotionless by this point.

"Once upon a time, I suppose," you cleared your throat. "I never really fancied marriage as much as some women."

He blinked at you before taking a step closer, reaching down into his pocket. Your intution began to nag you in the back of your mind, and you brought your arms up to cross them over your chest, ensuring that you could get to your revolver quickly, if needed. Jack brought his hand back out of his waist coat, a money clip gripped between his fingers.

"What are you doin'?" You asked, looking at him with a peculiar expression.

"How much?" He smiled, pulling a few bucks out of the clip.

Your lips parted, "I beg your pardon?"

He shook his head before looking back at you, a concerning smile forming over his lips, "How much to spend some time with a fine woman such as yourself? C'mon darling, I know playing poker can't be the only game you're running here."

You furrowed your eyebrows at his accusation, knowing exactly what it was that he was inferring, "I'm not a whore."

"What's your price?" He gave you a cocky look.

"No price," you growled. "I do think you should go now."

"But I don't want to," he took another step towards you.

Your heart began to beat beneath the surface of your chest like a drum, all of your better instincts crying out for you to shoot him now, but you couldn't. If you shot him right here, right now, you'd for sure lose every freedom, and if the law didn't get you, the bounty hunters sure as shit would. There had to be another way outta this.

"Please, leave me be," you said firmly.

He shook his head, "I won't ask you to do anything you haven't don't before," he said, reaching out to brush a finger through your hair.

You reflexes were faster than your willpower, your hand darted into your trail coat, fully prepare to grasp the butt of the revolver you had holstered inside of it, but he must have already calculated that possibility, snd before your fingers could get halfways gripped around it, he had caught your wrist, bending it backwards before pressing you roughly against the chester drawer.

"Bastard!" You hollered, kneeing him roughly in the groin.

That slowed him down enough so that you could push past him, and reach the door. You flung it open, your only mission was to make it out, make it outside of this place and ride far, far away from this hell. You sprinted out of the room, but your journey game to a short stop once you ran smack dab into something solid.

For a moment, you thought it was a wall, or maybe the law, until you looked up to see the tall silhouette of a man in the dark hallway of the hotel. The only light available were the few flickering oil lamps that were mounted outside each door. The man that stood in front of you was sturdy and tough looking, in a cowboy hat that was pushed down over his eyes, his beard being one of the only real visible facial features.

"'Scuse me, madame," he said in a gruff, but oddly polite tone of voice.

"Sorry," you breathed your heart still racing as you turned your head back towards the door.

Jack pulled himself out of the entrance, "(Y/N), come back inside." His eyes darted between you and the strange man in front of you.

"No," you shook your head.

The tough looking cowboy looked between the both of you, "Sounsds like you folks had a scuffle going on. Heard it from down the way." He gestured towards the end of the hall.

Jack chuckled nervously, "A bit too much to drink I'm afraid, sir. Thank you."

The man gave Jack a smirk, "Uh-huh. Or maybe you're tryin' to rough up the lady." He shifted his eyes towards you.

You looked back at him, silently pleading for him to help.

"That's quite a serious accusation," Jack narrowed his eyes.

"No harm meant, partner. Why don't you just leave the girl be, and we can all go on about our business," the man nodded at Jack.

"I'm afraid this isn't your business," Jack shook his head, ignoring the man's warning as he stepped forward, reaching out to grab your wrist again.

You fought back this time, pushing him away with your hands, "Get off me."

The man had obviously had enough of the situation and grabbed Jack by the shoulders, slamming him against the wall, "Do I gotta tell you again, boah? I won't be sayin' it a third goddamn time."

They had a scuffle as Jack tried to throw a punch back at the man, but he seemed to be absolutely no match for whomever this man was, he slung Jack around like a rag doll. A few blows being exchanged between them before the man gave the final punch that knocked the man out cold on the ground.

"Jesus," you breathed.

Before either of you could catch a breathe, you heard voices and soon the footsteps of people coming up the stairs. The two of you looked at each other in panic.

"Quick, get him into my room," you urged, reaching down to grab Jack's legs.

The man leaned down in front of the body and grabbed ahold of it and the two of you of you drug him into your room, shutting the door tightly. You held yourself against it with your ear pressed against it, listening out for anything suspicious. What you heard sounded like a man and a woman passing by the door, nothing seemed to serious and neither of them stopped at your door. Once the hall went silent again, you breathed a sigh of relief as you turned and pressed your back against the door, looking back up at the man.

"Thank you, mister. You saved me a lot of trouble," you said, giving him a nod.

He nodded back, "Don't mention it, just doin' the right thing."

You smiled and dropped to your knees beside Jack's body, rifling through his pockets to find the gold pocketwatch and the money clip. He had a whole $50 on him. You glanced up at the man who looked at you a little surprised, but did seem to be at all bothered to see you robbing this man. It wasn't that much surprising to you either, he too had the outlaw look about him, you figure he had probably some his fair share of robniyng, too. You pulled $25 out of the clip, handing it over to the man.

"For your troubles," you smiled.

He held his hand up, "No ma'am, he had it comin'."

You gestured again, "I insist that you take it, we both need to get the hell outta here before he wakes up."

The man gave you an amused look before dropping his head a little, a smirk curling one side of his lip.

He reached out, taking the money and pocketing it quickly, "C'mon, I know the back way out."

He motioned you to follow him, and he led the two of you to the back of the building where the fire escape sat. He let you climb down first as he followed behind. The night air was already starting to turn cool, and most of the town had gone to sleep for the night, nothing to be heard except for the commotion still going on over at the saloon. Once you made it down, you kept close to the building as you peeked around the corner, luckily the streets were mostly empty.

"You gotta horse?" The man asked.

"No," you shook your head, "The stable usually keeps a few in the corral at night, I'll see about rustling one up."

"Nah, too risky. Too many damn buildings 'round there. You'll get caught before you clear the fence," he said sternly.

You stammered, shrugging, "Maybe so, but I can't make it anywhere without a horse, mister."

He nodded and stood there for a minute in silence, staring at you as if he was thinking about something. He looked around before turning back to you, letting out a breath that quickly turned into vapor in the cool, night air.

"Ride with me then," he said.

Your lip curled slightly, you were obviously a bit apprehensive about this after what had just happened. He obviously noticed this when he held his hands up and took a step back.

"Look, I've gotta camp up the road, me and some other folks. You don't gotta say yeah, but you can have somewhere warm to stay the night. If you try to take off with one of them horses, you're gonna get yourself in a mess of trouble," he said, pulling his hands back down to his sides.

You could hear the sincerity in his voice, and unlike with Jack, there was no nagging voice in the back of your mind telling you not to go. Instead, there was just a sense of safety, and something was telling you that you could trust this man for whatever reason.

You thought about it for a moment and finally nodded your head slowly, "Okay.. Let's go."

He gave you a nod before he whistled, calling to his horse that was nearby. I'm only took a moment for a dapple grey filly to come trotting up to the both of you out of the darkness, snorting and nudging at the man with Her head.

He grabbed a hold of her reins and patted her on the neck, "Hey there, girl," he said gently.

He pressed his foot into the stirrup before pulling himself up into the saddle on her back. You followed suit as he held out his hand, you grabbed onto it tightly as he hoisted you up to sit behind him. You sighed as you leaned forward into him, wrapping your arms around his waist as he spurred the animal quickly to get her moving. She soon picked up the pace and you were galloping out of town, the wind at your back as the countryside began passing you by.

You pulled your head up from the man's back, leaning up a little more, "You never told me your name!" You said in a louder tone, making sure he could hear you over the sound of the horse's hooves thundering against the earth beanth you.

He leaned his head back slightly, "Arthur.. Arthur Morgan. What's yours?"

"(Y/N) (Y/L/N)," you called back to him.

"Nice to meet'cha, miss (Y/L/N)," he said, snapping the reins of the horse.

"And you as well, Mister Morgan," you said with a small smile before leaning your head back down to him, preparing yourself for the ride back to camp.

#arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #rdr2 x reader #red dead r3demption 2 x reader #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 fandom #arthur morgan fanfic #arthur morgan fanfiction #arthur morgan imagine #rdr2 imagine #red dead redemption 2 imagine

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jq37 · 5 years

Note

so...... thoughts on the first ep?

**spoilers for start spreading the news**

What is UP you guys? The new season of Dimension 20 is out and your girl is back (implies I left, which is false) with only the hottest of takes.

Usually I vomit up my opinions with little rhyme or reason and, don't worry, I'm not changing that format any time soon. But, because of the structure of the episode, I think it'll be easier to use headings and go through each character/element of this. So let's do this y'all!

The Setting

I think the best thing you can do as a writer or a creative person in general is the make something that only you could make, you know? Like, make the thing that only someone with your specific life experiences and weird brain could have come up with. And I really think that this is that for Brennan. I already talked about this in other posts, but the version of NYC that Brennan created for this game is that to me. Like, magical NY has been done, but the specific details? Who else could have written, "The annual SantaCon is actually Santa dumping all of his defective clones into NYC where the magic barrier that keeps normals from seeing magic will disguise them and the protectors of the city will be able to deal with them"? That's so specific and so wild and so New York and so Brennan.

And I haven't lived in NY for so long but I've had one winter here and the way he describes what it's like to walk down the street during winter in the city is so real. Like smelling garbage then laundry detergent then sugared nuts from those corner stands and you're freezing and then baking in the subway in your coat. That was so so real. (I will be saying this phrase a lot so get used to it now)

And I like that he didn't make the obvious choices, you know? Like we've had three, like, magical figureheads across D20 and those are usually classic old, white, possibly British roles, you know? Like a Gandalf or a Dumbledore. But he had Aguefort in FH and now Esther and Alejandro in TUS. I just think it's cool that we're getting some different archetypes to fill these roles instead of the same dude c.p'd in again, you know?

Also, the fantasy NYC map is so dope. I wanna go back and try to read everything on it when I have the chance.

Pete

Ally is a DRUG DEALER. I thought Pete was gonna be a stripper but he's a DRUG DEALER. Honestly, I could have figured this out sooner if I'd just checked Urban Dictionary like I did just now and found out that "plug" means "someone who is a resource for obtaining something valuable that would otherwise be difficult to obtain" or, more simply, "drug dealer". But I'm glad I didn't because it was much more fun to find out in real time.

Ally makes some character choices sometimes that are too specific to not be rooted in life experience and that whole microwave cheese monologue was one of them.

Pete's official diagnosis is that he has "a lot going on."

Ally almost won MVP line of the episode with, "Shot my tits off." Murph losing it in the background killed me almost more than the actual line.

I really, really want Pete's doctor to be a recurring character because he is wild in how wild he isn't. He has so much wild stuff happening around him and he is in a wild line of work but he seems like a relatively stable guy. I love him. Also, the completely wrong cadence he used to say, "lgbt ally" was gold.

Is Ally ever gonna have a character with a good relationship with their parents? One time? Ever?

I literally don't even know how to begin to address the wild magic trip Pete went on. Like, I don't think Ally knew what they were doing when they decided to be a wild magic sorcerer. I don't think they knew what kind of challenge they were issuing to Brennan. And after seeing the wild nonsense Brennan consistently came up with for Jer'ih'meh in Bloodkeep, I can't want to see the insanity he spits out for Pete.

"You're the one who they they wanted to play a wild magic sorcerer."

Also, Brennan just using lyrics from "New York, New York" for whatever dream demon or whatever was going on in that trip was, like, equal parts clever and hilarious. Sidenote, do you think all the ep titles are gonna be from songs about NY? I mean, there are enough songs I bet.

Pete has this thing where he constantly lands on the exact wrong part of the situation to focus on. Like later when he gets stuffed in the magic closet at the hospital and he's like, "Hospitals are so advanced, also go much is this gonna cost?" Ally's comic timing on that is always perfect.

WILD that that was the first intro. Like, way to kick off the new season with a bang. I really wonder what this episode would have felt like if this was the last intro or if the intro for the two normal people hadn’t been right at the top. Actually now that I’m editing, I feel like we almost got the intros from least experienced w/ this stuff to most experienced. Because Pete is a total noob. Sophia is also a noob but she has met Kugrash at least once. Then you have Ricky who’s only been in this for about a year. Then Kingston who probably has more experience than Kug by years but Kug has been a rat man his whole life (presumably). Finally Misty who is probably like a BS amount of years old and steeped in this stuff. Honestly, if I was DM’ing, I might have fudged the die rolls to look exactly like how it turned out.

Sophia

Emily describing her character and slipping into her character voice gradually as she went on was so pro.

"Like if Fran Dresher went on an Amy Winehouse bender." I love her.

"Did you not want baby bangs?"

"She's a WHOO-OAR."

I'm gonna die if Brennan make than woman an actual succubus because of an offhanded comment.

My favorite thing is when Emily is saying some nonsense and she can barely even get through it without breaking. Also, Murph is so visibly amused by Emily's entire intro. It's great.

I love that both of the "normal" characters spent most of this episode intoxicated in one way or another.

So Emily absolutely won the episode in my eyes for coming up with one of the sickest burns I've heard and in real time. A dude tells her to read his dick and she, after only a momentary pause, says, "No I'm not gonna read your dick (beat) because I don't read short stories!" Brennan doesn't even make her roll. He just narrates her success. The table goes wild. The bar she's at goes wild. Zac specifically is cracking up. Like, I feel like this is gonna be a little bit of a deep cut reference but did any of you ever play the Monkey Island games and do the insult swordfighting? That's what that scene was. Amazing.

Murph's, like, entire posture and expression (@ 1:24ish) when Emily is saying Sophia thinks she saw a giant rat man who gave her an egg sandwich and Gatorade is total gold.

"Gotta kill some brain cells to kill the ones with the memory of Dale in them."

OK so funny story (funny to me at least) at the Fantasy High live show, I was talking to some other girls who were there and we ended up talking about how the small of a woman's back is basically the worst place you can casually touch them outside of the really bad places and how viscerally terrible it is so when Brennan said one of the trolls touched one of the girls there and Sophie/Emily was like BIG NOPE, I had a That's So Raven flashback to that conversation immediately.

Emily leaps into action...and rolls a nat 1 to fight a bunch of trolls. She actually does really well in the rest of the fight though so that's good.

Oh, also Siobhan made everyone dope themed dice boxes!

Ricky

I hope Dimension 20 runs for the next 10 years and I hope Zac plays a good, big, doofus in every single season.

"He's basically like Superman if Superman were Japanese." Love.

Also, I love the distinction that he's 5' 8" but buff.

Ricky surrounded by a raging fire: First of all, that's a cool bear.

I like the way that Brennan skinned the cleric and paladin powers for this game so they're more about values than deities. I was wondering how it was gonna work in this setting and I think this was such a cool way to handle it.

I really think Brennan has a great handle of presenting certain things in such a way that it's interesting for the players as well as the audience. Like, when Ricky is trying to escape the burning apartment, he puts an obstacle in his way that forces him to use his Paladin powers (to create water specifically). It's not really a hard "puzzle" or something he has to roll for, but it introduces to the audiences that he's not just a firefighter. I just think it's really cool that he's able to pull off narrative things like that without actually controlling the characters. (And, props to the players too, of course, for being so consistently entertaining).

"Mr. March."

Ricky in the middle of the winter: I'm not as tan as I used to be.

Ricky rooftop runs like a freaking superhero.

OK, this is barely related to what I'm talking about right now but it's important to me that you all know this. I commented in an earlier post that Ricky clearly had circus music playing in his head at all times and then I was like, "Hmm, I wonder what that one circus song is called." You know, the song that you think about immediately when you hear the phrase "circus music" so I looked it up and APPARENTLY it is a CZECH MILITARY MARCH known alternately as (brace yourselves) ENTRY OF THE GLADIATORS and THUNDER AND BLAZES. I kid you not. That's actually what that song is called. I called my brother and told him immediately. OK, back on topic.

Is a questing blade a thing? I feel like it's a Thing from legend or fairy tales or something but, when I Google it, I come up with basically nothing.

Does Ricky have a thing for Esther or is he just a super awkward texter and nice guy who does not want to be set up by his sister for a different reason?

I need Brennan to explain how the Santa Question works in this world. The question being, "Why don't parents freak about the gifts they're not buying?" and, side question, "Why don't poor kids get presents?" My go-to answers are always, "He Jedi Mind Tricks into thinking they bought them," and, "He has to work within each family's socio-economic means in order to not be obvious." So there are def plausible answers. But, like, this is something I like to see addressed when we're doing the "Santa is real," thing.

"I grew up with twins and one of them was worse than the others so that makes sense."

"Is Santa good?"/"The ethics of it are alarming, I won't lie."

So, my paranoid thought for this episode is I'm a little Concerned that someone down the line (maybe Esther, but hopefully not) is going to take advantage of Ricky's Big Dumb energy and his "It's the right thing to do," mentality and manipulate him into doing something Not Great. Like, it's not based on anything besides mainlining a ton of media over the past 24 years but I'm just gonna keep an eye out.

Re the Santa/Peppermint Zombification: Hey Brennan, turn your location on. I just wanna talk.

I have to say, from the bottom of my heart, what the hell?

That creeped me out in the same way that episode of Adventure time where Princess Bubblegum (infused with the primal elemental candy energy or whatever) turned everyone into Candy people and everyone started singing Let Me Call You Sweetheart. What a weirdly specific body horror thing for me to encounter more than once. That one peppermint tooth thing is gonna haunt me.

Kingston

I gotta say, props to Lou for pulling a complete 180 on the kind of character he picked this time around. He went from playing this super extra rich pretty boy to this salt of the Earth quasi patriarch and he's just as comfortable with it. Kingston is so real. I went to church with like 50 guys like him back home.

Why are you fighting so hard about free food Kingston? Take the free homecooked food Kingston!

The intensity of his, "I will be here until I die," was hysterical.

Mentioned this before but I love the flavoring of the cleric class where instead of being attuned to a deity Kingston is basically attuned to the entire city. Also, the perks are excellent. Bus service anywhere for free. Sign me up.

I like that Ricky's sister works at the hospital. It's a really cool potential connection for later.

"We're gonna take the thing outchyo butt. We're not gonna deny you medical services."

"Aint nothing wrong with being a freak." --Kingston Brown

Fantasy creatures having to deal with updated tech (like the Toll bridge trolls talking about EZ-passes) is one of my fave urban fantasy tropes.

"I've got a really sweet smelling man here!"

"Yeah, my tooth fell out and now it's a candy. Hey, how much is this gonna cost?" This is what I’m talking about. Priorities my dude.

I love that Kingston knows Pete's weird mob doctor. It seems like part of his deal is that he just knows everything about everyone in the city (within whatever parameters).

Pete says, in quick succession about Ricky, "I feel like he would bully me," and, "He seems like a golden retriever," which I feel are almost mutually exclusive statements.

Kugrash

Well, I asked what kind of druid nonsense was happening in Central Park and the answer is Murph apparently.

I really wish I could have been there when Murph announced he wanted to play a literal rat.

"I am the shit that feeds the flies. A dumpster druid."

"Wherever you are rat Jesus, I love you." You're killing me Brennan.

Aww Kugrash goes around feeding the homeless and stuff. He's like this grumpy ass rat man who really cares about the community.

"Santa you fucking bum." --Kugrash

"I'm sorry are you a rat?"

The idea of a roach with a hobo sack pisses me off because it's adorable but roaches are the worst.

"Is Santa dead?"/"I don't know. I'm not religious."

"Santa Claus is real and he's DEAD."

Brennan loves to use the modifiers "full" and "fully" and I have picked it up irl and in my writing.

"Let's get a little fucked up and go see if Santa's dead!"

Just that whole squirrel interaction.

The sixth borough huh? Interesting. I see you Brennan.

Also, the detail that Kug's clothes are made from old MTA vests is great.

Misty

Siobahn is playing basically exactly the character I thought she'd be playing but she's doing it so much better and more extra than I could have imagined.

"A lady would never say her age, so I won't."

Is her pianist magic or something too? I have my suspicions.

So Misty gets some kind of bard and/or fairy high from praise and adoration which is interesting.

What kind of weird, morally dubious and/or unpleasant fae thing is Misty gonna have to do soonish? It's not gonna be good. Fae stuff never is.

DON CONFETTI

"I don't study magic. I just *am* magic."

So many of these intro vignettes end with, "You don't know that...but you do know who does." Like I said before, I really love the weaving together of all the story threads to get everyone in the same place at the same time in an organic feeling way.

Also he makes all these transitions sound cinematic, like he's writing the description parts of a movie script and not narrating in person.

Public Library! I knew we'd end up here eventually but I didn't know it'd be pretty much immediately. Like, if you're going w/ the "NY is magic" premise, the library has to figure in, you know?

Emily immediately having Sophia recognize Ricky as Mr. March was such a funny and on point character decision. I love how one-off, spur of the moment lines end up being running jokes because other players pick on them and drop them an hour later.

"Are you a rat?"/"Yeah, I'm a rat man!"/"I'm sorry if that was rude."

Brennan: The lions are alive and they're boyfriends.

Misty and Siobhan both are genre savvy enough to want to nip a knights/knave door puzzle situation in the bud.

Ricky on escape rooms: I'm not very good at them but I can definitely try my hardest. (Guys, I love him so much.)

Love me some MC Escher steps.

Underrated Misty line: It's all infernal to me.

Misty's little, "Ugh" at learning they have to go to Times Square is the real NY experience.

Is this Alejandro dude gonna die? What's the over under on this dude eating it very soon?

Misty encouraging Pete to shoot Alejandro is so needlessly chaotic which is a common fae trait and I really hope this escalates.

I dunno what Murph rolled for initiative but he looks like he just shamed his entire family line.

And we’re fighting an army of crazed Santa clones next week! We have literally just started and we are already fully off the rails. I cannot *wait* to see where we go from here if this is the *starting point*.

#dimension 20 #the unsleeping city #asks #anon #Anonymous

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lovelyparkers · 4 years

Text

we kissed...

summary: you and peter are on an undercover mission and things get a little out of hand. part 1 of the fake dating series! 2k words omg

"so, kids," tony began, standing in the living room in front of you and peter, "you need to date."

"excuse me?" you asked tony.

"for a mission! tonight at this mega fancy steak restaurant, we have to stop this guy, lowkey. which means none of our familiar faces can go, you know us and our fantastic disguises from steve. anyways you two are hidden from the universe so your going."

"i- i don't understand," peter stuttered, looking over at you, who was sitting far apart from him on the couch. god he wished you were closer.

tony sighed, "bad guy is on a 'date' with his wife and is making an illegal weapons drop to another bad guy. you two are going on a 'date' to interfere, low-key. get it?"

"yeah..." you glanced over at peter, "but why do we need to date."

tony shook his hands in frustration, "because it's just how these things work, okay? nat will have more details for you guys later," he started off to his lab, "and it's not like you two are already all over each other."

he whispered that last part but you both still heard it.

peter rubbed his suddenly sweaty palms on his jeans and looked at you once again, "so, guess we are ah, going on a daaaate, hahah."

you sighed and kicked your feet up on the couch, adjusting yourself so your head landed in peter's lap, a normal thing for you two, "guess so. but hey! it's our first real mission! this is so exciting! just you and me and free food!"

"and bad guys with dangerous illegal weaponry," peter reminded you.

you rolled your eyes at him, "it'll be a good time."

peter smiled down at you. any reason to be with you just made him happy. he liked you, a lot. and as much pain as this fake date thing is for him, it's still just you. he kinda sorta hoped you felt the same. but all feelings aside, you two needed to be professional.

later that night

"so, you excited?" nat asked as she helped you adjust your outfit and secret microphone.

"yes! it's my first real mission and we are gonna kill it. WELL not the bad guy, but if need be, i can beat a bitch up."

nat shook her head, "i meant about going on a date with peter."

your face turned into a saddened expression.

"i mean, i guess. you know how i feel about him. but it's a fake date nat. we can't mess around."

"i know but still, it could lead to something new. and you two better not mess around. we got a dangerous criminal on our hands," she smirked at you in the mirror. (a/n: nat is so hot bye)

you smiled yet again.

"go get 'em girl."

———————

"sam i need help with my tie," peter talked into the phone.

"oh little man is getting all fancied up for his date huh?"

"this is serious!"

sam laughed, "alright alright i'll be there in 12 seconds."

peter opened the door for sam who entered in exactly 12 seconds.

"i still can't figure out a tie."

"trust me i've got experience with a tie or two," sam began to tie it while peter nervously tapped his foot, "and also experience with girls."

this made peter sigh and stop tapping his foot. he closed his eyes for a second and thought about you.

"it's not a 'date' date, you know that. i'm professional," peter said rolling up his sleeves of his tight and crisp white button-up shirt.

"sure, sure, but we both know how it goes."

peter furrowed his brows in actual confusion, "no, no i don't know how it goes."

"i give up with y'all. you obviously like each other so tonight is your chance to actually do something about it. it's perfect, like tony practically set you up."

"tony did it for good, practical reasons," peter replied.

"mhm, sounds about right. just go get the girl."

peter began to realise it was his chance. he had to tell you how he felt.

"and the mission?"

"yeah do that too," sam said then left the room.

peter looked at himself in the mirror and said, "phew you got this peter. it's just y/n."

as if planned, you both walked out of your opposite facing rooms at the same time. peter saw you, hair all natural, red lips, bright eyes and a stunning outfit. a dark blue blouse and black slacks, subtle yet absolutely beautiful. and you saw peter, hair neatly gelled, a white button up clinging to his toned upper body perfectly, along with some black slacks as well.

you were first to speak, "you look..."

"...lovely," peter finished. you blushed in reply.

"i was gonna say you look handsome."

"t-thanks...uh should we go?"

"yeah," you reached out and linked arms with him, not needing to put on your act yet but just wanting to feel him.

nat was waiting at the front of the compound in the getaway car to take you to and from the restaurant. it was a long drive, but nothing you and peter couldn't handle. you guys talked and laughed and listened to music while nat just admired you two beautiful humans and was happy her two favourite kids were happy. she drove in silence, smiling and being so content, for once.

you and peter stumbled out of the back of the car laughing.

"hey! good luck! and no fooling around," nat yelled before driving away to park the car.

you two composed yourself before linking arms again and walking into the restaurant.

nat began to talk through the communication system, "okay peter, the reservation is under your name, your table should be right next to the target."

"got it."

you guided peter up to the hostess and she smiled before peter said, "parker. reservation for two."

"right this way."

you guys settled down to order immediately seeing the target man and his lady. you placed your hand on the table nodding toward it so peter got the idea to hold it, which he did. nice peter.

you looked over at the suspicious couple and asked, "your food smells lovely! how is it? we've never been here."

they didn't seem to mind the friendly question.

"oh it's fantastic! to die for," the woman said, the man nodded in agreement.

"great!" you smiled and squeezed peter's hand, he was being shy.

"what a lovely couple you two are! i love young love," the woman spoke again.

"thank you," you smiled at her then peter.

peter blurt out, "yeah we sure are in love."

you exchanged soft and meaningful smiles.

———————

a little while later the couple next to you got up, which was your time to shine. the woman walked toward the front of the restaurant while the man walked toward the back door with a large duffel bag he had concealed under the table.

"that's your cue," nat said through the com.

"on it," you said. you and peter ran to the back door quickly. you both peeked out the window to see the man look around then drop the duffel behind a dumpster. what a great pick up spot. you and peter looked at each other and chuckled. the man then noticed you and peter, which you noticed.

you looked peter directly in the eyes and said, "i have to kiss you, we are dating so i have to, just be cool."

before you could kiss him, peter understood what was going on and grabbed your waist pulling you into a hard kiss. and it was like a firework ignited. it felt so perfect and right and just felt like the world was just you and peter. it meant something.

the man walked back inside at this point. peter opened his eyes while continuing kissing you, making eye contact with the man, then pulled away.

"uhhhh..."

you laughed, "sorry we were just wanting some uh, some..."

"alone time to make out ya know?" peter finished for you.

"mhm, enjoy each other kids," the man said then walked away.

after he was out of sight you and peter rushed out the back door and grabbed the duffel, running to the main street to get in the car with nat.

"mission accomplished?"

"yeah," you both said in unison crawling into the back seat.

nat has the music playing real low, it was dark outside and you and peter were in complete silence the whole 43 minute ride. the kiss made everything awkward. shit.

————————

when you got back home you and peter hurried to your rooms, shoving the duffel into tony's hands, who was waiting for you two to arrive.

"hey thanks, have a good time?"

"mhm," you muttered. peter was already heading down the hallway, you following.

"huh," tony whispered.

you and peter exited to your rooms and got out of your dressy clothes into some pyjamas. both sighing and frustrated.

"peter and y/n come to the living area, it's mandatory movie night," friday called over the loud speaker.

"shit," peter said.

"fuck," you groaned.

again you and peter exited your rooms at the same time. stopping slowly just to look each other up and down then retreating to the living area. walking in silence, hands brushing ever so slightly, almost unnoticeable but you both felt the contact anyhow.

you guys arrived to the living room with the other avengers and took your seats. normally you and peter sat next to each other, but tonight, you sat between nat and tony, and peter sat by sam and bruce. there was so much tension in the room and all the avengers knew it. something happened in that restaurant between you two.

after the movie was over, you ran to your room. peter went over to talk to sam.

"uh sam, i need help again."

"ahh so someone got some action."

"no! i mean yeah but-"

"wait for real! i didn't actually think you did but okay pete! way to go."

"look, me and y/n kissed. it was part of the mission, but i think she felt something and i did too, but now it's awkward. what the hell do i do? i love her and need to fix it."

"wow, okay, love is a strong feeling," sam began, "but look, just talk to her. i know that might be hard but it's the only thing you can do."

peter nodded, agreeing.

"now go!"

peter got up and ran to your room. he knocked before walking in, hearing a soft 'come in!'

you were laying on your side on your bed staring at nothing. you didn't notice it was peter yet.

"hey," he whispered.

you didn't say anything back.

"y/n?"

"i do not wanna talk about it!"

"woah! i didn't even say anything yet. hey! look, are we just like, suddenly not friends anymore?"

"yes. of course we are. nobody said we weren't friends."

"but, friends don't sit in a car for 43 minutes in complete silence. friends have conversations. they talk."

"okay peter, let's talk. we kissed. and now everything's awkward and loaded and i don't know how to be around you. is that the conversation you wanted to have?"

peter stood there, not responding.

"didn't think so," you finished. you were sitting upright on the bed now, criss crossed legs. you played with your fingers, trying not to look at peter. he walked over and sat next to you, mirroring your position. he took his hand and hesitantly placed it on your thigh, slowly moving it to interlock with your own hand. and you let him.

"can we just try? try to make it not awkward?"

you nodded slowly.

hey loves, hope u enjoyed part one! this is gonna be a two part series so look out for part two soon! love, juli <3

#peter parker peter parker imagine peter parker imagines spider-man spider-man imagines peter parker x reader peter parker fluff

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aplaceforthesoul · 4 years

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Anonymous submitted:

Honestly this is just a rant to get this off my chest and out to someone without the risk of actually confronting my issues with the people in my life with this again. I don’t even know if this is the right type of place to put this out in the world. My mind is just so loud right now, I can’t focus. Y'all don’t even need to respond.

Anyway I’m currently 21. Over the last few months a lot of my past has been gnawing at me. When I was in middle school I got bullied and looking back at it, it messed me up more then I thought it did. I became really aggressive and closed off. I had and still have really bad trust issues. I ended up being a pretty abusive person when I was in highschool. My current friend group, most of which I’ve known since 7th or 8th grade really took the brunt of my actions. I was really fucked up in the head and I didn’t know how to express myself with anything other than anger or some form of aggression. I wasn’t necessarily emotionally abusive but I was physically to some degree. When one of them would get to close to me whether emotionally or physically I would lash out. Anytime they touched me I was repulsed and it took me years to feel comfortable with their touches. I’m still scared at times to put my hands on them or initiate contact because of what I did. I never beat any of them bloody and I’m not trying to justify my actions as I know what a scumbag of a human I was at the time. But I did punch them in the arm or shove them away from me. Or yell if they did something I didn’t like. At the time I didn’t realize how abusive I was. It was easier to bear fangs than to roll over for them. It wasn’t until I had finally talked with one of my oldest friends that she told me she would flinch when I would move quickly or if my anger was directed near her that I finally realized what a terrible person I was. That metaphorical knocked some sense into me. I became more aware of my actions after that. The older we get the more they stick with me. I’ve talked to them and tried my best to change and apologize for my actions. For some unfathomable reason they stay with me. Which I will always be grateful for. They say they forgive me and I’ve tried really hard to change but there are time that the guilt gets to be to much and I wish I didn’t care about them and that they would stop caring for me just leave, finally realized what a shit human I am. And I can be angry again because its safe and familiar to me not like what I feel now. Which is all consuming at times. I feel like there are times where I might’ve made them more susceptible to falling into abusive relationships because of my actions and it scares me more than I’d like to admit. I’ve tried to become a better person and they tell me I’ve changed and that I deserve to have them in my life but they’re such good people. I don’t want them to have to be constantly remind of any hurt I brought on them anytime they are around me. I both want them to leave my life but I’m also so starved for attention I didn’t know I needed until they made me into a better person that I’m so terrified of them leaving my side. It’s fucked up for me to be thinking that way when I know they would be better without me. Its just they’re the only ones I have. And I know I should try to justify my selfish desires but I’m so scared of opening myself to anyone new because I don’t want to hurt anyone else the way I’ve hurt the people I love in the past. But simultaneously I’m becoming more and more emotionally staved that I don’t know what to do. My friends say they’ve gotten over it and that I’m a good person now and that I deserve their love and affection but I don’t feel like its okay for me to accept any of it after what I’ve done. I’ve become such an emotionally stunted person and I don’t know what to do to fix myself.

of course we’ll respond 0: that’s why this is definitely the right type of place to write something like this, because we’re here to help. this is a blog specifically set up to listen and to support anyone -- it would be the very antithesis of this blog if we “chose” who to respond to. we care equally for everyone who needs help, we’re here because we wanna be :)

I think it’s brave to admit your past history and personality, most of all to yourself. it takes courage to put something like this into writing, because it makes it feel so much more real? you’re forced to think about things and to confront past behaviour, you leave behind the safe + comfy feeling of denial and face the harsh reality of the consequences of your actions. writing this down truly is a sign of growth, learning, and change.

honestly? this is a really complex world that we live in, we as humans are complex beings! I think because things can be so difficult to understand, people like to simplify things and make it out to be either you’re right or wrong, it’s black or white, there’s no middle ground or grey area. but that’s just not true, I don’t think there’s such a thing as a person who’s entirely bad, or a person who’s entirely good.

I don’t think you’re a fundamentally bad person -- you’ve done some terrible things, but that doesn’t mean that there’s no room for rehabilitation. you’ve clearly acknowledged your past and the effects it’s had on other people, you’ve apologised, you’ve taken responsibility for your actions, you’ve learnt that it’s not ok to do that, you’ve grown as a person. there’s not much more that you can do

I think it’s important to talk about the question of being good or bad, because it can help to resolve feelings of guilt around past behaviours and actions. also something to think about? everyone has free will! you made the voluntary choice to acknowledge your past and to learn from it and grow as a person and make better choices, your friends are choosing to still have you in their lives. it may sometimes be hard to have regular reminders around you of your past self and past actions? but if your friends are saying that they want you around, trust them on that :)

if you’re truly deeply concerned that you’re being selfish by continuing to have these people as a central group of friends? branch out a bit, take opportunities to meet some new people and make new friends. you don’t have to ditch your current friends or anything! but if you’re able to make some new friends then things are a little more balanced and the guilt isn’t so overwhelming. the fear of you doing the same to future friends is understandable, I get you I do. but it’s really unlikely to happen -- you’re now self-aware, you know what you did in the past wasn’t ok, and that’s the biggest indicator to show that you’re not likely to repeat past mistakes.

I can also understand why you feel emotionally starved, us human beings are social creatures!! and by nature we thrive on social interaction and social contact, we need some friends in our lives to survive and to feel loved and cared for. so start to branch out and meet new people, see how it goes? it’s really the only way for things to change. let me know how things go for you friend, all the best xxx

- tash

#advice #submission #friends #emotionally stunted #anger #aggression #regret

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m1serere-n0bis · 4 years

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Anyways. I don't care what the rest of you all have been doing during this but I have been trying to listen better and pray more.

For those of you who don't think that's "enough"... Sorry but I don't owe public opinion shit. The only person I owe an explanation to is God. I don't owe anyone information on what I'm doing in private. I don't owe anyone information on what I am/am not supporting financially or otherwise. If your personal opinion is that I'm not making adequate use of my voice or platform then that's rough buddy, but my voice is not the one that needs to be heard right now and also what platform? As a society hyperfocused on social media ESPECIALLY NOW DURING THIS PANDEMIC we have to come to terms that we all have lives outside of it and we don't "owe" each other ANY information about that in spite of what our culture tells us. Like if this is what "community-based policing" means, I can already tell you I hate it and it's oppressive.

For those of you who think this is a political power play, I would say those concerns are valid but there IS a REAL problem that will still be there when all the political pandering and posturing is done. And we need to fix it. Part of the reason I haven't been hyping what everyone has been telling me to hype in the name of activism is pretty much this:

Do I think it honestly matters which political party is in charge for changes to happen? No, because I do not trust the SAME GOVERNMENT BACKING THE POLICE to take the money THAT IS STILL TECHNICALLY IN THEIR POSSESSION and funnel it into the communities that need it in any way that will actually address the racism inherent in the system. HOWEVER, that doesn't stop me from listening to what my brothers and sisters in Christ are telling me are their experiences not just in a society that is supposed to have progressed past racism but in the BODY OF CHRIST itself. Because it's there, everyone. Yes, it's not overt. Yes, not everyone is actively engaging in it but if we are truly One Body then we owe it to each other to make reparations for sins that aren't ours. It's what we've been doing for the child abuse scandals, is it not? The majority of us were not involved but do we not still carry the burden of that sin simply because we're Catholic, because one part of the One Body committed this massive hurt?

So anyway. The goal of this post is not to make anyone feel bad and it is not an invitation for people to pile on me because I haven't vocally supported x, y, z. This is an invitation to listen and to pray... which should always be the first step, EVEN WHEN THERE IS AN IMMEDIATE NEED FOR ACTION. (Maybe ESPECIALLY when there's an immediate need for action.) And holy shit are we not good at that or what? 😂

1) Fr. Mike Schmitz' homily this week was an invitation for us to listen to God and let Him tell us who He is because only by doing that can we see the image and likeness of God in each other. We've lost that in our wishy-washy prayer lives that inevitably end up with us trying to force God into an earthly construction in which He doesn't belong. We try to tell God who He is because the world is too noisy for us to hear Him tell us about Himself. And that inevitably trickles down into us trying to force each other into boxes before recognizing the human dignity instilled by God in all of us. The internet feeds into that by making us faceless virtual entities, thus making it that much more difficult to recognize our humanity. I can read faceless stats for days but if I don't have ANY CONTEXTUAL IDEA where those numbers are coming from, they're empty. They're easily manipulated into whatever whoever is selling me them wants me to think of them if I don't have someone LIVING THOSE STATISTICS giving me context. Right now the media wants us to feed on the controversy surrounding BLM movement without telling us that these communities have been MARCHING IN THEIR COMMUNITIES FOR YEARS AGAINST THE VIOLENCE THEY INFLICT ON THEMSELVES and it is the same media blackout as any March for Life. The media doesn't care unless they have drama they can use to stoke more division and that's the tea.

2) Fr. Josh Johnson is on fire right now, everyone. Like him and Chika Anyanwu are two voices I wasn't listening to before that I'm thankful to be hearing now. If you're wondering how God can be good even in the midst of chaos, turmoil, and pain, this is it. If you're struggling to separate the Black Lives Matter Organization from the heart of the issue, this is how God is doing that. The Church needs to hear these voices. They have real experiences to share. They are part of the Body of Christ, and they are really hurting through these thousands of small cuts.

I would recommend listening to the Jeff Cavins Show episode Distance Amplifies Difference where he has a conversation with Fr. Josh. They both have tremendously unique WORDLY perspectives to bring to the table on the issue (Jeff Cavins is a white man but has children who are black and they live in Minnesota and are literally witnessing the heart of this first hand in the trenches, and Fr. Josh is the son of a black former chief of police) but ultimately discuss how we as a Church can work towards fixing it.

Fr. Josh and Fr. Mike's dialogue on Ascension Presents is also really top notch. I still have to finish watching it, though. 😅

I can't believe I wasn't following Chika before because as another single Catholic woman, I feel like I've found a sister in Christ experiencing the same ups and downs of Catholic singlehood (her Instagram Highlight was like HILARIOUS and also a truth 😂). Her family's small business got looted during the rioting but I believe they've since been able to shut down their Go Fund Me since people gave them enough support to get it back up and running. Anyways, I'm glad this amplification of black voices brought me to hers.

3) Fransican Friars of the Renewal Fr. Agostino and Fr. Pierre Toussaint discuss their hopes for the movement from their perspective as people of color and as servants of one of the poorest neighborhoods in NYC, the South Bronx. Their dynamic is great because Fr. Agostino is like a Gryffindor on fire and Fr. PT is like a soft-spoken, phlegmetic Ravenclaw. I understand that energy. 😂 (I'm also a phlegmetic Ravenclaw) One of my takeaways was Fr. Agostino's opinion that we can't just posture and leave it up to the government or orgs with ulterior political motives to make things right because he's seen firsthand how well THAT goes. However, all that means is that we as people of God have to dig in and do the work our own dang selves. They're also hopeful that this discussion of the police force being built on a foundation of racism will eventually lead to the discussion of Planned Parenthood being built on the same. They said that 42% of the pregnancies of the predominantly black and Latino population in the South Bronx end in abortion. 42%!!!!!!!!!!! If that is not a wake-up call that systemic racism is alive and well and we are abjectly failing women of color as a society Idk what is. But also their analogy that society is a MESS of a dilapidated house and we have to pick ONE place to start and stick with it if we really want to fix it up is also the truth.

4) Did y'all know about Our Lady of Kibohe? This is a Vatican-approved Marian apparition that appeared to three teenaged girls in Rwanda a little more than a decade before the genocide (which she warned them about). There is no one in Creation demons and Satan hate more than Our Lady, and there's no better weapon against them than the rosary. There has been a call from our brothers and sisters to rend our hearts and even if you don't see, think, or believe there is still racism within the Church, will you not pray for Mary and St. Michael to help continue keeping it that way, then?

Our Lady of Kibohe encouraged us to take up the practice of praying the Seven Sorrows Rosary. I tried it for the first time last week and I have to say, even with my super basic limited knowledge of black history in the United States, it was not hard to see how their suffering could easily be united to the sufferings of Christ and Our Lady.

I guess my conclusion is this: I have my own misgivings about blindly supporting any ol' cause that happens to be trending on whatever. The Black Lives Matter ORGANIZATION has a manifesto touting things that are contrary to the Catechism for SURE, but when my brothers and sisters in the Church are telling me they are in pain RIGHT NOW and saying, "Hey, listen... They're right about some things... These are the things and we've experienced it IN the Church..." then they deserve to be heard. We owe it to them to listen because they are a part of us. We need to expose these sins to the light instead of denying they exist or claiming to be past it. We ALSO need to be charitable to those in different parts of their journey. Is it FAIR to bear the burden of others' sins and make reparations for them? Heck no! But we do it. Jesus did it for us. We do it for our brothers and sisters in Purgatory. What's the difference for bearing it for our hard-hearted brothers and sisters on earth? Nobody is perfect but we all are made in the image and likeness of God and thus inherently carry human dignity.

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