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#you cant do that in real life. you cant make something not exist. just because something fictional contains it doesnt mean it condones it.
thepinkseashell · 8 months
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<3
#before its not boston2's birthday anymore i have to make a sentimental little post about her. because i love her. so here goes.#that day actually kind of changed my life a little bit.#i had been very deeply unwell for years and i think that was the day that a little switch flipped in me and the ice began to melt#and i started to be okay.#i dont think i had ever experienced that type of sheer joy and elation and relief and catharsis and it just sortof sent a shock to my system#like. this is real! you are real! you are alive!#you are capable of feeling and existing and being so do it! go. exist. be. live. breathe. and god did i fucking try#and i cant say it was suddenly easy after that. of course not. it is still not quite easy now. but its gotten better. little by little#i started doing things more. i started seeing myself more as human.#and things sort of snowballed and now i feel like im on the cusp of something. i dont know what.#the cusp of living. the cusp of being alive. the cusp of being human.#its the same but different. i was so very dead and just barely teetering into not dead and now im not dead and teetering into alive. i think#i am not substantially different than i was a year ago. not on paper. but i have hope now. i have a little sliver of something.#i have clawed at the wall long enough to dig a hole and goddamn it im climbing through it if it kills me.#boston2 was a catalyst for me. a celebration. an invitation. an apology. a love letter. a hug. a kiss. it was my permission to be okay.#and maybe i am. maybe i will be.#i love you boston2. thank you for everything. i will exist. i will live. i will breathe. and my first breath will be for you.
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sol1loqu1st · 1 year
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:/
#like if it is ptsd that means basically it's untreatable right? like the only way to really deal with it is i have to just accept that i'm#going to be miserable and awful to be around forever?#idk like thats why i was kind of hoping it /was/ something more uncommon like osdd because like. i know that can be hard to treat but i've#seen people make it work for them and make it a good thing even if it's hard. there are no upsides or benefits to having Just Fucking Ptsd#there's no sympathy for it if you didnt get it from combat (and even then lol)#and there's no real way to treat it except just learn to fucking avoid triggers and my triggers are FUCKING EVERYTHING#idk i just want a FUCKING SOLUTION and there is none#it's not fucking fair. it's not fucking fair#that my life is permanently ruined and horrible because my fucking mom decided that she needed to have a little mini-me#to project her fucking insecurities on instead of getting therapy#and now i'm never going to be happy! i don't get to have a good fucking life! i h#i have to spend the rest of my life fucking /coping/ with my own existence and having everyone fucking moralize me not wanting to do that#i'm a horrible person for even thinking about this stuff because me saying i cant recover probably makes other people in similar situations#think they also can't recover and i know that makes me bad and awful but like. it's different.#other people have friends who love them and care about them. i will never have that because i'm awful and everyone who gets close to me#realizes how awful i am and runs#other people have a chance at happiness even if it's hard. i don't. i'm never going to have people who love me and care about me. i'm never#going to be anyone's family and i can't fucking stand that
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phlyaros · 10 months
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im gonna be real anon I don't care about label shit ship discourse I care about if real people are getting hurt and ONE reblog from someone being jokingly aggressive on the subject isn't enough to convince me that people are getting hurt when there's more evidence to the contrary. you've put me in a shitty situation here and I don't want to engage with it. please just ask people what they actually think next time before you go throwing your assumptions at other people.
#i trust enough that most of my mutuals understand the nuance needed of media depiction of unsavory subjects.#if i'm wrong then I'm wrong. okay. thank you.#i hate the dichotomy i hate the lack of nuance in this discussion I want people to actually talk to each other#I want people to realize that you can respect people with different opinions than you if they aren't actually hurting anyone#I'm literally. someone who was alone with me a lot as a kid is in prison for CP/solicitation. I think if anyone can say that media-#depiction of fucked up shit that really happens is more nuanced than 'x is bad so it shouldnt exist'#you cant do that in real life. you cant make something not exist. just because something fictional contains it doesnt mean it condones it.#im so tired. im so tired. why wasnt this a dm. i dont really want to have this discussion publicly.#i can think things are gross but understand that there's nuance to depiction and just because I don't like it doesn't mean those people-#-don't deserve to have something that understands them.#not everyone is good at actually. being mature enough to handle that nuance. when they try. people can be wrong#and if people ARE weird I can just not engage with them. there's. I can decide for myself!#and now I'M stuck in my brain is insane and. as if! as if people always reblog things they 100% agree with!#im so tired. im so tired. im in pain and people are messaging me about a singular reblog from six months ago on someone else's blog.#i understand being cautious i really do but thats like insane behavior. why are you putting this on me. why didn't you just talk to me.#fucked up things happen and people deserve to be understood. okay. even if i don't like it. there is no right answer. there is no world-#where all pain can be avoided. saving private ryan made vet suicides skyrocket. did you know that#but it also understood those people. yknow. and there's more people living that it understood too.#there's just so much nuance that's thrown out when you cover everything you don't like with a blanket. okay#it's more complicated. it's more complicated. please.#in my mind it's far stranger to assume everyone is out there giggling and twiddling their fingers thinking about in/cest#than it is to just assume they don't until proven otherwise.#im so tired. just block me if you don't understand where I'm coming from. I don't care about ship disco/urse and i dont want to live-#constantly worried about what other people think about shit that has no right answer.#everyone is innocent until proven guilty and one reblog of a joking aggressive post isnt enough for me. sorry.#phlyaros' nonsense#euurgh.#welcome to the internet where we judge people based on one reblogged joke and nothing else even if it contradicts us#what a perfect encapsulation of what I don't like about dichotomy argument#tw suicide
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snekdood · 1 year
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people will be so terminally jealous of you that they’d rather you reexperience your trauma but somehow in a worse way than just let you live your regular happy life as it has been
#sorry i had privilege over you- real or imagined- but it is what it is#and taking it out on me instead of oh idk. the polticians who are to blame for your shitty situation. isnt gonna make your life any better.#i kinda have no control over your life and its actually not my personal job to give you shit#especially since you're a skeevy fuck who cant be honest about your wants needs and intentions and just pretend to be certain ways#so people stay around you and you get the beenfit of community rather than be the real skeevy fuck you are#like damn maybe if you were real i coulda helped you and we didnt have to go through all of this bs of you pretending you like me#just to get shit out of me#you saw how i looked. you saw how i express myself. you saw my confidence. and you did this out of some weird rageful jealousy#and then once you found out how bullied i was. suddenly im nothing. suddenly all the things you envied so deeply that you have to pretend#i dont exist and im not the reason you draw the way you do now. suddenly im nothing. in spite of apparently being the thing that made you#want to draw again anyways.#you really really do value might makes right even if you dont think you do. like if me being bullied is enough for you to decide im nothing#and you gotta go faun after my bullies then like idk what to tell you duder but thats might makes right lmao#how can i go from being *the sun* to you. from being all of your favorite ocs. to being absolutely nothing short of you having some deep#shame about me now that you know all the shit ppl put me through in hs?#i mean aside from all the shit you made up about me- lets put a pin in that right now okay- bc this is the real reason#lets be honest here.#and yet i know.#deep down. you still kinda envy me. because imma be myself no matter what any of yall do#and thats something you cant do ever. rip off your mask.
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avatar-anna · 9 months
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Rumors
so...i've had this concept rattling around in my brain, but i had no idea how to write it, so i used pictures instead. i definitely want to do more, but tumnlr only allows 10 pictures a post, so here's to hoping i remember to come back to this in the future!
yourinstagram
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liked by taylorswift and 67,530 others
yourinstagram: had a very cool dude over today to make even cooler music
yoursistersinstagram: you let someone in the bat cave?!
y/nfan5: possible collab on the new album?
yourinstagram: more like i was helping someone with theirs ;))
harrystyles: Thank you for having me. X.
harryfan3: HARRY???
harryfan7: omgomgomgomgomg
y/nfan1: pls god let us have a harry and y/n collab on his next album i NEED it
harrystyles
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liked by gemmastyles, yourinstagram and 2,233,781 others
harrystyles: HS3. Coming soon.
harryfan8: NEW ALBUM ALERT
harryfan11: HARRY YOU CANT JUST DROP SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITHOUT A RELEASE DATE
harryfan4: this has to be what he was working on with y/n right?
y/nfan3: i need them both on a song together
yourinstagram: had fun late night talking with you xx
y/nfan9: i'm sorry wHAT
harryfan5: is this flirting this sounds like flirting
harryfan13: honestly...here for it
y/nupdates
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liked by harryfan7 and 4,320 others
y/nupdates: Y/n in a video for Vogue recently!
"A lot of people ask me how Harry Styles ended up recording at my house when we'd virtually never crossed paths before. It was actually Taylor (Swift) who kind of set the whole thing up. They spoke at the Grammys last year and she apparently gave him my number so we could work together...He called and asked if I was available to help with his album at all. At the time I was on the road, then working on stuff for the band, and it just kind of went back and forth for a few months while we tried to line up our schedules. Then I was done touring, but I was kind of in a weird state in life where I didn't want to leave the house or hang out with anyone. And I remember making up excuses because I wasn't really up to making myself presentable to a whole team of people I'd never met before and having our first meeting be this huge thing. I'd basically built it all up in my head about how our ideas would clash and we wouldn't get along and I just kept telling him maybe some other time. Long story short, Harry showed up at my place a week later by himself with just a guitar, a notebook, and my favorite takeout order. We spent the whole day together working on a bunch of different stuff from themes to genres of music to sampling and mixing. And writing. Lots and lots of writing. And now he's a dear friend. He's so sweet and so talented. I wish him all the best with the new album."
y/nfan8: ok i'm glad it worked out and everything but imagine a virtual stranger showing up to your HOUSE?? like she said no and he basically forced her to write his album for her
y/nfan4: that's so real of her tbh to not want to leave her house
y/nfan2: y/n is notoriously introverted it makes sense
harryfan13: girl...
y/nfan7: i don't think it was that serious. and if she really didn't want him there she could've said no
harryfan13: and y/n literally called him a friend?? stop trying to start shit that doesn't exist
y/nfan7: of COURSE mother brought them together
harryfan17: i can't believe that's what harry and taylor were talking about in the video!
harryfan2: chill harry doesn't need to be in a relationship with every woman he's associated with
harryfan4: wait but wasn't y/n at that grammys too?
harryfan9: it was still covid it's possible their paths didn't cross
y/nfan19: wait what if he was too shy to go up to her??😭
harryfan4: i love that they're writing besties now but i think they'd be so cute together 🥹
hsupdates
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liked by harryfan4 and 10,343 others
hsupdates: Harry about Y/n L/n for Rolling Stone:
"I've always admired (Y/n's) work. She and her band are incredibly talented, and are just so passionate about creating music. I wanted that same energy for my third album, the freedom to make whatever I want without any reservations, and I knew Y/n was the perfect addition to the team. It took some convincing, but once we kind of got started, we couldn't stop. As we've gotten to know each other these past few months, I not only respect her as a musician, but for the person she is as well. Her soul is one of a kind, and I feel like my album would be so different without her on it. So now not only do I have an album that I'm proud of and love, but I got an extraordinary friend out of it too."
harryfan9: so this is what people mean when they say platonic soulmates
y/nfan12: all we've gotten is crumbs and i'm already in love with their friendship. and the album of course
y/nfan2: i'm so interested to hear this album now. if y/n is on it it has to be good
harryfan3: "her soul is one of a kind?" if that's harry as a friend i don't think i can handle boyfriendrry😭
y/nfan7: i'm holding out hope for them honestly🤞🏼🤞🏼
liked by harrystyles and 23,724 others
yourinstagram
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yourinstagram: you've fallen from the sky down to me, i see it in your face, i'm relief, i'm your summer girl
y/nfan17: shut up are those song lyrics??
yourbandinstagram: the tears behind your dark sunglasses, the fears inside your heart as deep as gashes🎶🎶
y/nfan17: HOLY SHIT those ARE lyrics!
y/nfan6: haven't even heard the song and i know the girls have done it again
harryfan4: could it...could it be about harry?
y/nfan8: you're grasping at straws
harryfan12: are they? they've been spotted together all over LA
harrystyles: ☀️☀️
y/nfan8: as friends. friends can hang out can't they?
harryfan3: new music from harry AND y/n? we're about to be fed y'all
harryfan10: THEY REALLY ARE BESTIES
y/nfan2: i bet they collaborated on this song together
Interviewer (I): What's one memory or experience you can share from making this album? Any trips to Japan or Jamaica?
Harry (H): We stayed in Los Angeles mostly for this one. But erm...in terms of a specific memory...I would say that while I was working with Y/n, one of the tracks was actually inspired by her cat.
I: Really?
H: Yeah. Whenever it did something to annoy Y/n, which was quite often, she'd call her a little freak. The song's obviously not about the cat, but the phrase was in my head and yeah. Things just kind of...snowballed from there.
I: The sound that Y/n's band has is more rock centric, a similar sound to your first album. Is that what we can expect for your third studio album?
I: You've become quite close to Y/n L/n it seems like.
H: Not necessarily. Y/n and I collaborated, but she also let me take the reins in terms of sound. She had opinions of course and we would bounce ideas off of each other...but she really just followed my lead and supported the vision I had. She is playing a majority of the instruments on the album, though.
H: It's hard not to.
I: How so?
I: It sounds like you could go on for quite some time about her.
H: She's just cool, you know? I was kind of intimidated when we met for the first time. She's quiet, but you never forget that she's in the room, you just want to go over and talk to her. Of course once you meet her she's incredibly kind and not at all intimidating, but still like chill and stuff. The first time we met we sat for an hour just talking about music we enjoyed and live shows we wanted to attend and things we learned while in lockdown. She's just effortlessly cool. An old soul, I guess. And somehow she translates that into her music. Her sisters, too. They're all just first-rate musicians.
H: Sorry. I kind of gushed for a minute there.
H: And the band. They're just so talented, you know?
harrystyles
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liked by jeffazoff and 4,211,323 others
harrystyles: From start to finish, making this album has been such an incredible journey. It was so fun to try new things sonically while also making something that I'm one hundred percent proud of. I've never felt more myself while making music than I did while creating this album for all of you, and I have so many people to thank for that. Hopefully you know who you are. I love, love, love you.
harryfan16: 😭😭😭😭😭
harris_reed: little angel👼
harryfan3: WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU
yourinstagram: congratulations h. you deserve it.💐💐💐
harrystyles: I couldn't have done it without you💐
yourinstagram
liked by yourbandinstagram and 53,089 others
yourinstagram: for one night and one night only...but in all seriousness shout out to my friend and his incredible album. happy to have been a part of the magic :)))
harryfan13: HAPPY HARRY DAY!!!
harryfan4: is she in ny??
y/nfan7: yes! she was spotted with harry before the show today
harryfan9: they're literally so cute i love their friendship
harrystyles: You made the magic happen. Thank you for everything. X.
harryfan3: they're so...
y/nfan2: i genuinely think they like fucking with us bc i legitimately can't tell if they're dating or not
y/nfan7: at this point i don't even care i love whatever they're doing they both just seem so happy to be besties/lovers/collaborators and i love that for them
harryfan5: ^^
y/nupdates
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liked by harryfan10 and 3,742 others
y/nupdates: Y/n performing Keep Driving onstage with Harry in NYC tonight at ONO!
y/nupdates: When he introduced her, he said: "Tonight is special in a lot of ways. I'm sharing my album with you for the first time, my family's here, my friends are here, and...a very good friend of mine is here to play a song with me tonight. This album wouldn't have been possible without her, so please give her as much love as you've given me. Y/n L/n, everybody!"
harryfan4: stop they're so close it hurts😭
y/nfan7: i was there they were staring at each other and smiling the whole time!
harryfan12: that's the one where he says choke her with a sea view!?
y/nfan7: YES AND I SWEAR HIS SMILE GOT BIGGER WHEN HE SANG THAT PART AND LOOKED AT HER LIKE HE FULLY HAD TO TURN AROUND TO LOOK AT HER BC SHE WAS PLAYING THE DRUMS
harryfan3: i'm choosing to believe they're in love idc what anyone else says
hs/ynupdates
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hs/ynupdates: Harry, Y/n, and her sisters in New York after ONO tonight! Apparently Harry and Y/n were standing and walking very close to each other. Like arms wrapped around each other close.
harryfan2: that could literally mean anything tho. they're good friends why wouldn't they walk next to each other?
y/nfan14: i feel like they don't know if they're dating or not at this point😅
y/nfan8: her sisters are so unserious i love it
y/nfan5: i love that they all showed up for harry🥹
yourbandinstagram
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liked by taylorswift, harrystyles and 710,225 others
yourbandinstagram: Thanks for having us, London!
y/nfan1: i can't believe i got to see harry and y/n perform in ONE NIGHT
harryfan3: sending my love and my tears to everyone who got to experience this historic night
harrystyles: Thank you for taking the time to share the stage with me. X.
yourbandfan2: how do y'all always look so good 😭
I: So you opened for Harry Styles a few weeks ago and performed a song with him in New York.
Y/n: My sisters and I did, yeah.
I: How did that come about? Did your team call his team? Or was it more casual than that?
Y/n: Oh, definitely more casual. I think we were just hanging out together one morning and he kind of just suggested it. No bells and whistles or anything like that.
I: So can we expect (Your band) to join Harry on his upcoming tour, then?
Y/n: I don't think so. We're working on putting out a record of our own at the moment, but we do want to get back out on the road soon, but I will definitely be attending more of his shows in the future.
I: And what can we expect from this upcoming record? Did Harry help you the way you helped him out?
Y/n: I've sent him a couple things to listen to, and I value his opinion a lot, both as a friend and as an artist. He also showed me a couple records recently which kind of influenced how I approached some of the songs sonically. He's got a huge vinyl collection at his house. I'm honestly kind of jealous.
I: There's been some rumors running around that you and Harry are in a romantic relationship. Would you like to put any of those rumors to rest?
Y/n: I could see where people might think that. Harry's very affectionate by nature, and over the last couple of months we've become very close. He's not just someone I admire in the music industry, but as a person in general. I feel incredibly lucky to call him a friend. And a close one, at that.
I: So just a friend then?
Y/n: Yeah. Yeah, just a friend.
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Hey sorry friend! Here, i will request it separately for you.
Can you make headcanons for taking care of dazai after the prison arc? I feel really really bad for him and i just want to let him sleep and dote on him for weeks.
P.s. he deserves warm food and head rubs and for people to stop talking shit about him. 😭
Reunion with blood and tears
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Headcanon: Dazai is reunited with his lover after his escape Dazai x Fem! Reader Masterlist Tysm anon for the request! Hope this doesn't disappoint your heart :)
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Dazai Osamu was laughing. That's the first thing he does escaping the prison.
You looked bloody and beaten up badly but nevertheless you came to pick him up (I mean duh, he is the Osamu transferring information through his heartbeat Dazai)
"Osamu, please, I can't even think to loss you again" that's the first thing you would say to him as you hug him tightly, sobbing .
You know this man, despite having the happy shell, even he breaks down crying and in that embrace none of you wanted to separate.
You stared at the exit all covered in blood and wounds but you couldn't care less. Your lover was sent to the prison long ago for the past crimes he did. He was the former port mafia executive, you knew sooner or later he had to pay his deed, but this was a ruthless act.
And in the moment time didn't exist for you as you stared at you lover, so beaten up and broken almost limping to an extent and you couldn't even help him by taking his pain away. All you could do was hug and embrace him in your arms and you wept. Sooner then expected, for the second time in his life, Osamu Dazai cried, because he was relieved to go back somewhere who he could call home.
Now Now, that was one moment you had. Because of this mess created by DOA, the best service you could provide a runaway criminal was your own secret base like home.
The only supply you could give that moment was giving him food and bandages, as he proceeds to bath. He was limping badly and you told him that you could least have the made-up support for him but he brushed of saying it wasn't a big deal.
You then forcefully make him seated on the bed considering his physique screamed broken bones which you couldn't heal.
Dazai was silent all the time, he wasn't eating nor talking and seemed to lost his touch, simply showing his true nature.
You know this was the real Osamu Dazai, the one without the barrier of fake happiness. He already had bags under his eyes as if he never slept, and how fragile and thin he had gotten over the past few months.
"Dazai? Osamu, Darling please eat something, i made you some crab soup you always liked" You would plead as he just stare as you.
"I don't wish to eat right now"
And that was the moment that broke your heart. You know it would be to much for him to intake such a heavy meal so you simply came back with some fruits, cut in bits and you proceed to take a seat next to him and open his mouth.
"I love you babes but if you cant eat, i will have to forcefully make you eat, I don't want anyone to die at me"
You swear you could hear him saying 'kinky', before you proceed to fed him food.
"Good boy Osamu, you finished your food" You said joyfully giving him a head pat as you proceed to keep the dishes in the kitchen.
Head pats, rubs and hugs.... that's what he needs
He wouldn't open up to you fully and you respected his decision.
You finished up everything as you re-bandaged his wounds later at night, which seemed to fallen quiet early today.
Dazai seemed to have gained his energy, and willingly ate up all the crab soup you made.
Currently you were in the bed with him, hugging him so closely not wanting to lose him again. This war was to much. You didn't wanted anyone to die, especially you two but it was your duty, to save people's future even if it meant to destroy your own.
"Hey Osamu, promise me you wouldn't pull any of this stunt again understand? I already lost much and I don't want you loss anyone more" You said as you bury your face lightly against his chest, listening to his heartbeat which could tell wonders.
Dazai pulled you closed, his arms around you and he secures the position, his head above your head, for the first time after his escape he spoke, "Y/N I love you and I promise I wouldn't change it for the world, I wouldn't leave you, I promise"
You looked up to see him sighing with his breathe, as he slowly closes his eyes, letting the darkness wash over him yet again, but this time within the comfort of his lover by his side and it was a sight you would never change it for the world.
'I love you Osamu Dazai' you whisper as you watch him fall asleep, least with a small hinted smile on his face.
Loosing yourself a little, you kissed him on his forehead and then lightly on his lips before embracing him yet again under the covers of your bed with your lover beside you, as you listen to his heartbeat, and you swore you could decode his heartbeat saying I love you too.
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Hope this satisfy all those dazai kinnies including anon and me, cus Dazai deserves much more then all this. honestly idk if this directed mainly towards the hc! But dazai fluff is all we need.
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stealingyourbones · 2 years
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Danny Phantom meets Superman. More accurately I should say that Danny Fenton meets Clark Kent.
Let me make this clear cause people seem to forget this: superman is smart. Clark kent is a very intelligent guy. Hes an INVESTIGATIVE journalist. He works with Lois Lane whos a multiple Pultizer prize winner and you know damn well that Lois wouldn’t work with anyone that cant keep up with her in both wits and smarts. He’s good at his job and in some comics he gets Pulitzer Prizes from some of his articles as well. Dude is dumb but he’s smart if you get what I’m saying. High Int. Low Wis.
With that in mind, During an assignment by Perry White, Lois and Clark meet the Fentons in their Amnesty residence to get some quotes on an article that discusses “Everything we thought didn’t exist is now real. Superheroes, Aliens, even Vampires, so why do we not Believe in Ghosts?”
Clark Kent spots Danny and notices instantly that MANY things are wrong with this child. His shoulders are hunched in a way that is intentional and tensed. Like he doesn’t know if he should fight or flee. His eyes are darting around and constantly taking in their surroundings like he’s waiting for something to barge in. His heart is beating far slower than it should. The kid intentionally makes his chest rise and fall but he’s not breathing in any oxygen. All of those are concerning but they can happen in metas. The thing that isn’t normal is that Clark can’t hear any of Danny’s other organs working. Like the kid is a revitalized corpse and his body only thought to bring back half of its needed functions.
So Clark does some digging. He doesn’t want to tell any of the Justice League because this isn’t a Superman job, this is a job for Clark Kent. He gets some help from Oracle and with her word that she won’t say anything to batman, He agrees to update her regularly about the kids situation.
Oracle sends over some VERY concerning documents from an organization called “The Ghost Investigation Ward”. Oracle tells Clark that she’s working on tipping off the Bats and Birds so they can help dismantle the organization.
While sifting through the documents Clark comes across a profile of a “Danny Phantom”. As I said, Clark isn’t stupid. There is definitely a profile of Danny Fenton as well since he’s the son of two world renown ghost hunters. He puts the two and two together and uncovers just the horrible treatment that Phantom has been receiving from his parents, the government, and his peers. Clark is outraged and can’t just stand aside and let this kid suffer. So he makes another trip to the Fenton residence under the guise of needing another quote and sits Danny and Jazz down and tells him that he knows of the terrible lab safety, the immoral experiments his parents do on the regular, the neglect of the kids in pursuit of scientific discovery. He knows and he wants to help. Clark tells Danny and Jazz that there is an apartment available right nextdoor from his and that he can help them get to a safer location and apply for emancipation.
The Fenton kids are shocked at this guy and his immensely kind heart. Danny knows something is up though. Something is up with Clark Kent. He looks like all his life would be spent in the gym when he isn’t at work and yet Danny can’t find a thing on Clarks interest in working out. His baggy clothes somewhat cover up his muscles but his frame is far too wide to be hidden. Clarks heartbeat is slightly faster than the average persons. No human eyes could be that startlingly sky blue. And Danny knows that he has seen Clarks face somewhere but he cant put a pin on it.
The Fenton kids agree and they get brought to metropolis and the emancipation case is no problem with the evidence Clark managed to collect. The kids get the apartment next to Clarks and Clark helps them grow and get better mentally and situationally. Clark knows that in a way he’s trying to make up for his neglect on Connor but he still knows that helping these kids is the right decision.
After a month or so, Clark and the Fenton kids have a rhythm of meeting at each others apartments, getting doted over to make sure that the fentons are well fed and have everything they need and are getting settled into their new life.
Clark hasn’t told the league. Oracle keeps her promise to keep the Fentons out of Batman and the Justice League’s radar. Clark knows that he will have to tell them soon eventually. He knows that things like this wont last. He tries his best to keep these kids happy and support them how an actual caring parent should act.
A few months into the Fentons stay in Metropolis on a cool autumn afternoon, Danny is sitting on a beanbag chair reading a ratty old book that Clark lent him as Clark is typing away on his computer writing up an article for the Daily Planet when Danny looks over to Clark and says,
“I’m Phantom.”
Clark pauses typing and shoots a small smile towards danny, “I know.”
Danny nods in relieved acceptance as Clark straightens up from his hunced over position on his computer.
He pulls back his shirt collar slightly to show the blue suit and red cape. “I’m Superman.”
Danny looks at him and smiles, “I know.”
They both just sit and continue reading and writing with soft smiles on their faces. Comforted at the exchange and that it’s finally out there and eachother knew.
After a while Danny’s obsession gets to be too much. He tells Clark about it and that he has to find a way to sate his obsession of protecting and Clark accepts that it was only a matter of time and invites him to meet the League.
When Superman brings Danny to the Watchtower, saying that the rest of his fellow superheroes were shocked would be an understatement. The Man of Steel and this ghost kid are talking like a father and son.
To say that Batman was pissed that he wasn’t informed of this child is also an understatement. But there is also some amusement and respect under that frustration. Superman managed to keep this kid under wraps and didn’t even alert Batman. Superman smirking and saying under his breath to him “Looks like the World's Greatest Detective isn’t so great huh?” Makes Batman respect the man even more.
In the Watchtower, Danny meets up with Teen Titans/The Team/Whatever They’re Called Now, and meets Conner. Conner is understandably pissed and spiteful that Danny got to have Superman as a father figure.
Conner knows that Superman treating Danny this way is definitely a way of him trying to make up for the faults and breaks he had with his parental relationship with Conner. he agrees with himself that he shouldn’t hate Danny for having Superman as a Dad and the two get along like tinder and matches. Connor still has a grudge against Superman don’t get me wrong, just not as much as before.
Sometimes while the League is in battle, Superman likes to just look for Danny and watch him hold his own against world ending threats. Danny is now truly confident and it’s no longer a facade. He’s no longer hunching into himself to look smaller. He laughs more often now and seems to be genuinely happy. Superman fondly looks at his son as his kids eyes flicker with green fire as he says a shitty ice pun and freezes Metallo in his tracks with ghostly ice.
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partycatty · 3 months
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I have this idea:
Johnny Cage x tomboy (can be gender neutral reader), I see the reader as a introvert, gamer, a bit of a nerd that prefers to wear comfy pants than elegant, tight dresses/skirts. Johnny likes to talk to them cause they can play games together (I believe that johnny being a bit of a gamer is a fact stated in mk1, when we have a Cage's Mansion tutorial?) and so he decided to invite reader to a red carpet event created because of the launch of his new movie. It's first time in their life to attend such thing and they really don't know what to do... (the rest is up to you, they can either fuck before the event while reader is trying to pick a good outfit or just go there and have fun or whatever<3)
johnny cage > zip me up
johnny's not used to seeing his best friend in anything but a hoodie and sweats. what happens when they have to dress outside of their comfort zone?
warnings: nsfw... :3, exhibitionism?, hardcore praising LOL, awkward reader (no rizz ...), reader is written as curvy? LONG POST LOL
notes: i physically cant write dom johnny without it sounding super ooc LOL ALSO!! im so sorry if the formatting is iffy, ive been forced to use desktop and the formatting is completely different than my usual mobile writing
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honestly, it's hard to gauge what games he'd actually play, so a part of me believes he mainly plays... mortal kombat. and yes, since he is canonically responsible for the franchise existing, he would main himself. or maybe he'd play fortnite, lord knows he'd have his own skin.
"come on, man! you can't keep picking general shao! you can just say you hate me," johnny groans, staring at the character select screen. his favorite thing was to drop tidbits about the characters and compare them to the real life counterparts. "i'm still mentally recovering from witnessing his ugly mug."
you chuckle and lean back in your chair, pulling your headset mic closer to your lips. "would you rather i picked one of your buddies? kenshi, or as you called him, sexy face two?"
"and now you're asking me to beat up my best friend," johnny sighs dramatically. you giggle, and it makes his heart flutter and cheeks redden. thankfully, today was a day your webcams were turned off so you were none the wiser. you make a comment that he's the one that wanted to play a game that features his real friends and actual enemies which earns yet another groan from him.
"if you're gonna be annoying, we could switch to something else?" you offer teasingly. "not my fault you choose to stare at yourself every game instead of learning combos."
"oh hush, you love me," johnny replies, earning a little peep from you out of surprise. he loved to push your buttons and flirt with you. it was in his personality, sure, but because of it you did have a massive crush on him. it was innocent and purehearted, but you just couldn't see yourself risking your great friendship over some silly feelings. "you love it when i'm difficult, don't lie to yourself."
"...shut up," you pathetically try to retort, sinking into your seat and fighting the flush on your face. "are we gonna run another round or what?"
"actually, i had something to ask of you," johnny says, tone suddenly serious and almost unreadable. you feel a pit in your stomach at his tone, wondering if maybe you're in trouble. your mind spirals as you nervously fidget in anticipation. "well, two things actually. could you turn your camera on so i can properly ask you?"
you shakily turn your camera on in discord, anxiously glancing between your monitors and camera lens. johnny smiles to himself, leaning forward get a closer look at you as if you were sitting across the table from him.
"good girl, there we go," he says encouragingly, making your thighs clench as you use your sleeves to hide your face. "no, come on, don't hide. here, let me-" he clicks on his own camera button and his webcam blinks to life. he smiles directly into the camera, and for a moment you're winded at the reminder that you're best friends with a celebrity. "-there. now it doesn't feel like i'm talking to my computer."
"well, you are-" you speak up, ready to go on one of your famous tech tangents. johnny holds up a single finger, shushing you instantly. as much as he'd love to hear your voice for hours on end, he wanted to squeeze out what he was going to say first.
"-hold your tongue, my dearest nerd," johnny quips with a wink. "my favor first." you tense up before he speaks up again. "i've got a movie coming out. finally, right? point is, cris is an absolute no-go, and my assistant couldn't find a damsel to hang off my arm in time for the red carpet. so, next best thing, i was wondering if... you'd be my plus one."
"i-i don't dress up, johnny," you protest, looking away. "all those cameras, all the shouting... not for me."
"it's not all bad," he insists with a smirk. "you'll have me. all you have to do is stay close to me and smile."
you stammer, trying to spill out more excuses for him to give in and stop asking.
"i don't have a dress-"
"i'll buy you twenty."
"nobody knows who i am-"
"eyes'll be on me."
"what if someone laughs at me?"
"doll, have you seen some of these hollywood clowns? you'll look just fine."
you tug at your hair, exasperated. he came prepared with every response, had every reason to bring you to the carpet. you wanted to say no, but truth be told, you missed johnny dearly. you don't get to see him in person often, given your medium distance and his constant work. a meek "fine" escapes your lips and johnny cheers to himself, his excitement painted all over his face. it made you warm how well he was at showing his appreciation at times.
"i knew i could count on you, sweetheart. this means the world to me. i'm getting you tomorrow at three, okay? we're gonna get you a nice dress, i'll get a matching suit tailored... oh, it'll be like prom all over again!" he's gesturing wildly as he hypes himself up over the plan.
"i never went to prom, johnny," you chuckle to yourself, eyes on your keyboard. "i wouldn't know the experience."
"well that's ridiculous," johnny looks surprised at this fact, for a reason you can't pinpoint. "i would have asked you if we knew each other then."
"i'm sure," you agree shyly, turning away to try and hide your blush. "i'll see you tomorrow, johnny."
"see you tomorrow, doll," he smiles at the camera again, and you catch a glimpse of it as you weakly return the expression. then, johnny leaves the call, leaving you huffing and blushing. he just asked you to be his plus one on the red carpet, for his movie, for his fans... all eyes will be on you. the thought terrifies you, but maybe you could push through for your friend. you were a software developer, mostly confined to your dimly lit bedroom. this was a whole new realm!
you roll around on your bed and kick your feet, wondering why you're always so awkward around him. if you fumble at all in public, your world might just fall apart. sleep doesn't come easy for you, but it eventually overpowers your anxiety.
sunlight creeps through your windows. despite your usual tendency to sleep in, your nerves shot you awake slightly earlier than that, and you tried your best to negate your shakiness through games and squeezing in any work projects you could make up - before a firm knock was at your apartment door.
you fly to the door and swing it open, excited to see the only man that gets your heart pumping. he's matching your energy with a cheesy grin, immediately charging at you to embrace you in a bear hug. his cologne makes you tingle as you breathe in his shirt fabric. when he pulls back, he chuckles to admire your attire. you're wearing your usual sweatpants, hoodie, and slippers.
"you clean up nice," he compliments you sarcastically. "it's nice to finally see you, honey." you shrug with a shy smile at his endless pet names. "let's get you into something more flattering, yeah?"
he encourages you to his car, it's one of his nice sports cars with his name printed across the seats. you always felt out of place in his luxurious lifestyle. however, even through the two hour car ride back to malibu, you found yourself familiar and comfortable alongside johnny.
"you didn't have to drive four hours just to see me," you insist quietly, voice muffled against the window as you admire the waters. "it's a lot of trouble for one night."
johnny seems to genuinely seem taken aback by your deprecating comment. he leans over and slides one hand on your knee, patting it gently.
"you know i'd do anything for you," he speaks in that dangerously low tone, stealing quick glances as he desperately tries to focus on the road. "i want you with me."
even after his comforting pat, his hand lingers for a moment, sliding up your thigh with feather touches. you cover your lips with your finger to muffle any whimpers that threatened to escape. you always hated how touchy he was, and by hated, you mean it turned you on embarrassingly easily. as the road straightens out, you realize he's staring directly at you with suspiciously blown out pupils, but snaps back into reality as quickly as you noticed. he clears his throat and removes his hand, settling them both back on the steering wheel.
perhaps he just missed me and wants to be closer, you thought. he's always clingy, he probably just... you're having a hard time justifying his needy glances. they looked off. it's been a stupidly long time since someone eyed you down like that.
after what felt like a thousand years, the city comes into view and johnny parks at a luxury outfit boutique. it's small, but the window mannequins alone make you swallow nervously.
it takes quite some time to decide on a dress, because you internally decide that every possible option is unflattering. each time johnny pulls a dress from the selection, you cringe and shake your head. the sleeves were either too long or too short, the skirt was too flowy or too loose, or the color wasn't quite right.
"how about i pick one for you?" johnny offers, a little exhausted at how difficult you were being. "you just go sit in the dressing room, i'll slide you a couple dresses and don't think too hard about this. you'll look great in anything, my dear."
you agreed with his idea. maybe it'd be best for the celebrity that's known to dress nice to put you in something that'll definitely turn heads and keep you confident. it was unfamiliar territory for you, after all, since the last flattering thing you wore was a one-piece swimsuit on a beach trip with your family.
after some time of fidgeting in the dressing room, johnny slides the curtain aside and greets you with a smile, his veiny arm holding about a dozen dresses. he's got his iconic shit-eating grin as it seems he has something devious in mind for you.
"don't look so afraid," johnny shrugs, nudging you playfully. "i'll treat you right, pinky promise." he holds up the first dress, a flowy one with off-the-shoulder sheer sleeves. it looks like something out of a fairytale, and you're reluctant to deny his suggestion when he's cheesing so damn hard. you smile back and shove him back behind the curtain, giving yourself space to change.
you slide into the dress, catching it on your hips momentarily but pulling it past without tearing it thankfully. when you pull it up to your chest, it takes quite a bit of tugging, seeing as the fabric isn't as stretchy compared to what you're used to. when you fall silent as you try to pull the dress up, johnny assumes you're ready and slides the curtain aside, stepping in eagerly.
"how's it-" he cuts himself off when he gets a good look at you. you're flushed from trying to squeeze into the fabric, and your breasts (that he didn't even know you had) were spilling out of the front. his lips get sucked inward as you witness the gears come to a screeching halt in his head. his eyes may have been hidden from his sunglasses, but you know for a fact he's checking you out. "i like that one." his voice is too monotonous for him to truly be emotionless. it's like it's taking every ounce of his being to be normal.
"i don't," you mumble, continuing your fruitless attempts much to johnny's delight as your boobs ripple with each pull. "i can't get the stupid zipper up in the back, either."
eager hands shoot out to you as johnny takes quick strides to stand behind you. your front is facing the mirror, your hands resting atop your breasts and eyes focused on the man behind you. when his head tilts town to get a good look at the zipper, you notice his eyes are far darker than the typical warm brown.
his hands fumble tremendously as he tries to keep his shit together. he uses one hand to keep the parts together and the other to get the zipper sliding.
the sudden jerk catches you off guard and you're far from balanced. thankfully, your palms press against the mirror to keep yourself upright, and johnny lurches forward as his grip is pulled with you. his hands fly to your waist to ensure he doesn't topple you over.
you would have gotten up like nothing happened, and maybe apologized, but during the scuffle you felt something hard and warm through your skirt. johnny's nose is tucked in the nape of your neck when you fully realize your predicament.
as you sputter out his name to call him out, you feel his lips smile against your back. his hands loosen momentarily, but don't pull away.
"uh, sorry, doll," he mumbles into your skin, not sounding all too apologetic. "pretty girls in dresses just... gets me goin'."
"i'm not pretty," you mutter, averting your gaze. johnny lifts his head and looks at your reflection incredulously.
"you're joking, right?" johnny replies, brows furrowed. "babe, look at yourself." he grabs your jaw from behind and angles your vision on your body. "i didn't know you were carrying all this. i almost want t'take you out and get you a whole new wardrobe just to get you out of those garbage bags you're always in. pardon my french doll, but you're fuckin' hot." as he speaks, his hand snakes down your throat, your shoulder, and then settling firmly on your hip, not even hiding the brief sweep he made against the flesh of your chest.
you're left staring in awe. he was always charming around you, but never outright flirting. you glance toward the curtain; what if someone heard all this? you swallow thickly, moving back to look at johnny apprehensively. he's biting his lower lip, suddenly thrusting more against your body, letting a shaky breath as his face is now buried in the crook of your neck as he tries to hold it together.
"you got me all riled up seeing you in that, you know," he warns you in a husky voice that dampens your panties. "so you can't say you aren't pretty. feel what you did to me." the air feels intensely different than it was when you guys were just friends. he's confessing something he'd implied to feel for quite some time, but you never envisioned the day it'd come to fruition. you can't really say you were complaining when he pulls your hips toward him, letting him use your ass to grind down on ever so slightly. your stillness throws him off for a moment, and he looks up at you through the mirror with concerned eyes. "you don't seem into this. i can stop."
"n-no!" you yelp out, sounding a little more desperate that you'd like to admit. "this is okay."
"just okay?"
"well, no, but - i'm sorry, i don't know what to say."
"do you want me to stop?"
"...no."
"good girl."
he presses a little harder against you, keeping you upright and stopping your knees from buckling with his rough hands. abruptly filled with a primal hunger, johnny tugs the long flowing skirt up in bunches, gripping it tightly to get a glorious view of your ass. this interaction was not prepared for, so you couldn't help but feel flustered when your boyshort panties are fully on display. johnny just chuckles to himself as he grabs a shameless handful of one of your asscheeks anyway, squeezing hard enough to leave red prints behind. you bite down on your lips to stop any noise from coming out, but a moan of surprise slips through.
johnny wraps one arm around your midsection for stability, and the other flies up to your lips to hold his palm over your mouth.
"if you want this, you're gonna stay quiet, is that clear?" he growls into your ear, head tilted toward you but eyes fixated on your reflection's eyes. all you can do is nod. "i'll show you how fuckin' pretty you are."
he slides your panties down with ease, expelling a shaky groan when he watches a trail of your wetness follow the fabric. his cock is swiftly freed from his dress pants and he slides his throbbing tip against your folds, creating a sopping sound to the trained ear. if the store was quiet enough, the entire building would know how soaked you were for your best friend. all you can do is whimper and gasp as your noises are muffled by his hand. johnny leans forward and gently shushes you, lips brushing against your ear.
"you can do it, princess," he assures you in that husky voice before holding intense eye contact in the mirror. "you look so good like this, don't you think?"
your pupils were blown out and your cheeks were stained a deep red as you're bent over for the actor. you didn't feel pretty, still. you felt... needy.
you pressed back against his cock, and it slips between your folds before catching on your aching hole, making you twitch. the sloppy friction makes johnny moan against your skin as he hungrily matches your movements. he slides his hand down and toys with your clit, wetting the area with your own juices which seems to be plentiful. he sticks two fingers inside, not bothering to ease you into the process at all. he needs you now, and if "now" is in a clothing store, then so be it. your pussy burns from the sudden stretching, but you take it because it makes him happy to see how eager you are for him.
"i should've put you in a dress sooner," he mutters, hazy eyes staring right through you as he relishes in the way your walls embrace his fingers. "you look beautiful, my dear. angelic. i wanna ruin you so bad, baby, but i can't. not here." his words already bring you closer, but as you feel the tension building inside he leaves you empty and sopping... but not for long.
his tip slides in with ease, and he has to bite down on your bare shoulder to stop himself from losing it entirely. it's the first time in a long time a pussy has been too good for him. he's stuck his dick anywhere and everywhere, but you take the cake. his bite deepens when he slowly but surely bottoms out, his own knees buckling at your gorgeous insides.
"mmf, so fucking good," he groans into your flesh, eyes clenching shut. "my pretty girl. all mine, yeah?" you nod lazily, too entranced in the fact that his cock is buried inside of you. you'd had sex before, but it had been quite some time. years. and his dick just felt impossibly big.
"i could stay like this forever," he mumbles, almost forgetting to thrust. you remind him quickly when you shake your ass needily. "ah, but i shouldn't. you deserve to feel good."
he pulls out slowly, admiring the thin coat of juice painting his shaft before thrusting back in. he's careful to move just enough to hit deep, but not enough to make the slapping sound too obvious.
"there you go," johnny encourages you as he starts to slowly pump into you. "you take me so well, so pretty with my dick buried in you."
you almost wanted to pinch yourself to see if you were dreaming. just yesterday, he was your duo in your favorite game. and now, he was fucking into you in public. the thought makes you dizzy and you have a hard time keeping your head upright, that is, until johnny pulls your face up to the mirror again, still muffling you with his palm. you want to say you're the one enjoying it most, but that might be johnny. his once cocky demeanor is now down the drain as he fights for his life to not cum with every second of friction. you were just so good, he's already pussydrunk. he seems to be living in his own heaven when he lazily peppers kisses and licks all around your back, neck, and shoulders, breathy whimpers and moans warming your skin up nicely.
his thrusts grow increasingly sloppy as he completely loses himself against you. his eyes are swapping between you and him in the mirror as he admires your wetness dripping down your thighs and splattering against his own front. he would be mad you were ruining his nice clothes, but he's just going to buy another suit with you anyway.
"you wanna cum on me, doll?" he huffs into your ear, letting go of his fear of the slapping noise and now progressively slamming into you harder and harder. "let me feel it, baby, i'm real close."
johnny's arms readjust, one snaking under your armpit and over your shoulder, and the other rhythmically swirling circles against your clit. what once was hungry groans is now turning into needy whimpers from the both of you as you cum simultaneously. your lower half feels warm as he cums deep inside of you, watching it drip and splatter out with every finishing thrust. your vision becomes tunneled as you see stars, head thrown back as each throb from the orgasm makes you forget you're in public entirely.
he holds you both there for a moment, breathing in your damp skin. you both feel dazed, but incredibly satisfied. johnny kisses your cheek from behind, dancing his way to the corner of your mouth and then captures your lips in a messy, brief kiss.
"you know i didn't need a dress to want you that bad, right?" johnny asks against your lips, his fingers brushing against your bare thighs. "i really do think you're beautiful. always have."
you nod, taking in a quick inhale of breath to gather yourself. "i wasn't sure before."
"well, i hope you are now," johnny chuckles, and kisses you again. "at least, i hope so - hey, hey -" the embrace stops as he steps back and notices his semen dripping down your leg. "don't get that on the carpet. and definitely don't get that on the dress. we're buying that one for the red carpet-" he checks his watch. "-that we're late to. shit."
he doesn't really regret it.
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itgomyway · 8 months
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(you)r sp and you ♡
i have already made a post about how you should love yourself and your sp will love you almost as much (bc they actually are you!) but lets go into more detail
a lot of you guys, including me, wanted to get into a relationship. and with that, youve discovered the law of assumption. the basics start off with whatever you assume will be. but after months of arguing, harassment, and bullying on twitter, you’re probably confused and too scared to ask.
FUCK THAT. let me be the one to tell you that none of it matters. you very much can and WILL manifest your sp. others false opinions (false because theyre not real) mean nothing. this isnt a loass post though im talking about non dualism (which is not the same).
“but wait… i want my sp and non dualism isnt about getting so why would i-“ because your sp shouldnt be someone that brings you happiness. they should be someone who adds to your quality of life. why does that sound like loass vs non dualism? because it is.
people use the law of assumption to manifest desires for their physical world. theres nothing wrong with that! that is how i manifested my current relationship. however, when we speak about non dualism, it goes beyond trying to get anything. youre just being. and “getting” into a relationship can very much help or make your false sense of self feel better. you as consciousness know relationships themselves dont exist because it is you but your ego, the false sense of self doesnt know that. it wants to experience love as part of the human condition. but youre still not getting anything. lemme explain.
you were trying to “get” something that was never outside of you TO make you happy. that doesnt make sense when not only are they you, but they are apart of you. everything your awareness is on “reflects” how you feel about yourself because all there is is you.
lets go back to non dualism’s basics. everything is consciousness = you creation is brought on by your awareness = you. “but back when x happened-“ the past and the future do not exist. the only thing that exist is now. you cant “apply” this way of thinking to something that doesnt exist. that makes no sense. youre just going to confuse yourself. i am telling you RIGHT NOW the only truly real thing is YOU. that is all there is and will ever be. you can control your awareness through observations meaning youre in total control. read that again.
so when it comes to your sp, romantic or not, they are never not yours. they were never not you or not a part of you. every thought, feeling, affirmation, or word you wrote down, they have received. because its you. think about it. are you ever aware of anything youre unaware of? (no). because things only exist the moment youre aware of them!
and remember, if something can come to our awareness like a relationship and leave our awareness it is not real. but you, as consciousness are infinite and are always here and always consciousness. so you are real!
after discovering non dualism i have thought about the feelings my boyfriend has presented to me and how they currently match the feelings i have for myself. i have always loved myself and will always love myself. if i didnt, how could i expect my creation, which is a projection of my own self image, to have different feelings than me? your sp isnt a separate person. Your relationships will always show how you feel about yourself, romantic or platonic. they’re not real because they come and go through your awareness but your ego as the false self believes they are. and thats okay. thats its job. let it be and observe them as consciousness.
nothing can happen outside of your awareness because the moment you are aware/conscious of something, it exist instantly. so if your sp is treating you the way you dont want to be treated then reflect on your own feelings about yourself. this DOES NOT necessarily mean work on your self concept. ask yourself if “you” think youre worthy of what it is your ego desires. a lot of my blockage came from that. i had to fall in love with myself so my ego could comprehend how i could be loved. because its still me.
lets talk about “free will”.
“free will” doesn’t exist. lemme tell you why. the idea of free will is a person outside of you having a say in their own life. the basic principle of non dualism means theres only one being, consciousness (you). so tell me how can “another person” “outside” of you have a say in their “own lives” when none of that exist in the first place?
your sp having or not having free will shouldn’t effect how you feel about them unless you see them as a separate entity outside of you. they’re not an “object” you control theyre your creation and another form of consciousness so of course you have control over your creations you have control over EVERYTHING.
your sp feels the same way you feel about yourself. always. if you dont feel good about yourself then i do suggest working on your self concept. not to “get” anything but for YOURSELF! why not love yourself? why cart that responsibility off to your creation?
at the end of the day, itll just be you surrounded by your creations. you can pick and choose what they are specifically BUT THE ONLY REAL THING IS YOU
© itgomyway
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sometimes the state of the world makes me want to go outside and scream as loud as i can for help. sometimes it makes me want to crawl deep into a hole and never come back out again. sometimes it makes me want to fall to my knees and sob uncontrollably. sometimes it seems so hopeless that i cant see any better alternative other than just disappearing.
so much evil and destruction and suffering-- and for what?
what is it all for?
for the latest popular billionare to take a 13 minute flight? for the newest remake of a movie that changed my life to get turned into mindless sludge? for a never-before-seen species of animal to be discovered, then pronounced extinct the very next week? for millions of people to go broke for having cancer?
i tell my mother that i wont be able to afford a house. she says "no, you will." i tell my counselor that my government wants to kill me. she says "that's not true." i tell my teachers i don't see a point in doing well in school because i wont be able to get a job anyway, even if i have a college degree. they tell me "no, you'll get a job. school is still important." i email my senators begging them to stop funding the genocide in Palestine. i get a copy-pasted email back with a history lesson about why that wont happen. one million people died from COVID last Christmas and i'm the only one at my school still wearing a mask. my future as an artist was ripped from my hands in less than two years and pretty soon i wont be able to share anything about my art at all. i'm half mexican, but everybody says i'm "too white" to be a "real mexican". its been four years and i'm nowhere closer to understanding my gender identity than i was at the start. tumblr has been my only safe space for three years and now that KOSA might pass this week, where will i go?
and all the while, through all of this conflict-- people are still falling in love for the first time and rescuing kittens off the street and watching their children take their first steps and getting married and making fun little indie games and building elaborate cosplays of their favorite character and making the most heart-touchingly beautiful pieces of art you've ever seen and meeting lifelong friends and cooking amazingly delicious food and playing children's games and weaving baskets from pine needles and taking care of livestock and collecting little knick-knacks and having the best day of their lives and writing their first line of code and learning to play instruments and hatching baby birds and posting a 100K word thesis about a show they really like and uploading song covers for 19 people on Youtube to listen to and pushing the boundaries of what science can accomplish and discussing moral philosophies in the comment section of a Reddit post and feeling truly seen in the eyes of another human being for the first time in their lives and growing old surrounded by the people they love.
the future is uncertain, but the world will go on. the winds will still blow and the tides will still flow. people will continue to find joy in this hell and fight for it with everything they have.
so don't give up.
"don't give up," i tell myself.
"don't give up," i tell you.
"don't give up," i scream into the sky.
there is always something to keep going for. if you cannot find it in yourself, find it in others. find it in the people in your life and the people you see online. find it in the good of humanity you know to exist.
find it. keep fighting. don't give up.
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lil-gae-disaster · 1 month
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Art is dead - Bo Burnham is relatable.
Because I've been taught that my theater group depends on donations to finance the shows.
Because I've been taught that art is painting with colors. Anything else is anything but art.
Because art can't get you a stable life, you have to get a "real" job.
Because everyone likes the artistic pieces unless they find out they're made by a part of a group they hate (like disabled, poc, queer, etc.)
Because most successful artists have committed crimes nowadays.
Because my aunt complains that we don't do more modern pieces and doesn't appreciate our new interpretations of art that has existed for a long time.
Because art class is just about painting and not how we can utilize words, melodies, our voice to create all kinds of art.
Because artists get destroyed by (modern) education.
Because how can it be that I have been told countless times that "PaInTiNg WoNt GeT mE aNyWhErE" or "YoU cAnT mAkE a LiViNg OfF oF yOuR(my) wRiTiNg" and no one DARES to question why??
Because how can it be that people can't (won't) look at the layers old poems or paintings have and just view the top layer, which is how it looks???
BECAUSE I'VE BEEN CALLED A NERD FOR LOOKING BEHIND THE OBVIOUS JUST BECAUSE THE AVERAGE TEENAGER CAN'T.
BECAUSE I'VE BEEN CALLED CRINGE FOR WRITING AND THAT I SHOULD KEEP IT SECRET
BECAUSE THE WHOLE CLASS GROANS WHEN I WANNA PRESENT WHAT I'VE WRITTEN
BECAUSE MY WRITING HAS BEEN CALLED EMBARRASSING,
YET OTHERS ARE ENVIOUS OF MY PAINTINGS
EVEN THOUGH I JUST PAINT WHAT WORDS I HAVE IN MY HEAD
BECAUSE MY OWN FATHER MOCKED ME FOR MY FIRST ATTEMPTS AT WRITING
BECAUSE I'VE BEEN CALLED "CRINGE" "EMBARRASSING" AND A "NERD" JUST BECAUSE I AM NOT AS MENTALLY PUT BEHIND AS THE AVERAGE STUDENT
YES I CAN'T DO MATH AS GOOD AS YOU, BUT I HAVE EXCELLED AT THE JOKE POETRY ASSIGNMENT MY GERMAN TEACHER GAVE ME, WHEN YOU HAVE FAILED AND I WATCHED GLEEFULLY
I CAN EXPRESS MYSELF THROUGH MY KIND OF ART BETTER THAN YOU CAN ATTEMPT BECAUSE YES I MAY HAVE FOUR As BUT I STILL HAVE A MIND THAT CAN CREATE AND NOT JUST FOLLOW RULES.
My writing is art.
I want it to be recognized as art.
Art is not cringe.
Art is not embarrassing.
Art is not something to groan at.
Art is not something only for nerds.
Art is wonderful.
Art is to be appreciated and interpreted again.
And I fear for the future if this is the start of how art will be treated.
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nailgunstigmata · 4 months
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i couldnt fall asleep and spent the last few hours watching tiktoks of people pretending to be wolves so i probably cant articulate this well rn but i think theres something deeply sad about how much of not just fandom but life in general is done with ironic detachment nowadays. a kind of plausible deniability of feeling anything at all. and i catch myself doing this too!! its just a lot easier to not be vulnerable and earnest online. baring ur soul in front of anyone is terrifying because ur always giving them the opportunity to hurt u when u do it
like even with this post a part of my brain is going ok its not that deep omg but like. maybe it is that deep. maybe the things we do and say and the way we navigate the world matters even in an online space about a sitcom. maybe everything can have meaning and we should be careful of what we are saying and listen to other people and try to be nice to each other because theres already plenty of cruelty in the world
and again i have the internet socialised part of my brain screaming at me that this is cringe and nobody cares but again thats stupid. like thats stupid. nobody is being held at gunpoint to read my dumb rambles and if people mock my words thats their personal failure and not mine. u just have to kinda not listen and be earnest anyways and be comforted by the fact that this mindset of self denial isnt healthy for anyone. u cant be detached and happy those two things are mutually exclusive and irony is a thing that can genuinely poison you. like im speaking from experience i literally have the same kind of brainrot and i think that most people have it, especially gen z since we grew up on the internet and started curating the way people perceive us online way too soon. like yeah theres a point where u only know the self that exists to be perceived and that sucks i think.
mocking others vulnerability is fun and safe but it cant make you happy. the only thing that can is being genuine and open and vulnerable. its scary but its the only way. what im trying to say is that the live laugh love girlies were kinda onto something (minus the christian fundamentalism) and we are gradually spiraling into a world in which nothing is real and everything is a commodity and the only way to save ur soul is to be genuine and earnest with people u love and with the world in general. lets cling to our humanity as capitalism alienates us and keeps us trapped in a perpetual cycle of dissatisfaction so we can consume and be consumed forever and ever while giving just enough to keep the engine pumping. im not saying that actively trying to be earnest is the antidote for capitalism but i do think it helps salvage our humanity. and i do think its the only way to be happy
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princessamericachavez · 11 months
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My thoughts about the Ted Lasso finale (no particular order)
The end montage was obviously Ted’s dream for the future and not even subtly so jot that down
Actually just gonna add that this is the show’s way of telling us the potential these characters have and what Ted wishes for them but without his presence it’s up to them now
Roy mouthing alone to Goodbye, Farewell broke me because he’s clearly the one who put together the choreography
Also Dani singing? My most beloved
Jaime and Roy clashing one last time might have pissed some people off but this was always a rock in their shoe that they needed to address and we see that their relationship can and will survive it
I like Rebecca’s romcom ending even if I wanted her to end with Ted.
Ted going back to his son was necessary and the whole point. He always blamed his father for abandoning them. When he came to Richmond he was all but running away from his family in hopes things would magically fix themselves. Instead, he put in the work and healed. But his biggest triggers were always connected to him missing his son’s life. In the end, Ted’s growth was the point so he could go back to them and be the best version of himself for them and for himself.
Ted not talking while Rebecca rambles was actually perfect. Old bitter Rebecca would’ve never opened up like that. But old Ted would’ve also rushed to reassure her or try to make a joke or cheer her up. This time, Ted lets her speak and then sticks to his guns, even if the truth is uncomfortable for others. He allows himself to do this for himself and not to please others.
Beard staying for Jane was foreseeable given the toxic codependent nature of their relationship. Happy perfect endings don’t exist. His story is still developing.
Furthermore, the real growth came from Beard letting himself choose something regardless of what Ted is doing and breaking himself free from a cycle of guilt and feeling in debt.
I know it was in the dream but god I hope Roy gets therapy. We did see the roots of him wanting to change and be better and accept the help he needs so he’s in the right path.
Keeley/Roy/Jamie is still endgame in my heart. Eventually. Once all three are in the right place.
The himbos singing made me cry. A lot.
Even if it was in the dream, if Jamie actually chose to reconnect to his dad somehow I think it wouldn’t be the end of the world. He would get to do it on his terms and only because he chose to have him in his life to some degree. Which might simply be being civil and talking from time to time, so long as his father keeps putting in the work to better himself and takes steps to make amends and apologize and acknowledge all his wrongs. Who knows. It’s an open ending.
Loved everything about the match.
Glad Van Damme got closure from Rani Dojas and that Dani acknowledged his part in what happened and tried to make amends.
CANT believe they made me feel sorry for George.
The cold open was a tease but I loved to see what could’ve been (and who says Ted and Rebecca didn’t find each other while running away from all that noise and one thing less t another…)
I wish we’d seen Sam’s restaurant and his cute chef one last time.
Actually wish we’d had a little bit of all the other himbos.
And finally
Finally
I… don’t think it was the series’s finale. I don’t know. I might be wrong but lately all interviews from the cast suggest deep down they hope something else will come and maybe they’ll be like “you know what, this story isn’t over” or something.
That last scene and the musical cue with Ted’s final shot felt so dissonant to me. Like there’s something still unfinished there.
I, like Roy Kent, have all my fingers crossed.
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lostinvasileios · 12 days
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im very sorry for asking this and please ignore it if its too much but,
have you.... ever been... su1c1d4l during your journey? did it... i dont know, ever make your deities feel... disrespected? like, you cant stop feeling so depressed and hopless and it just sort of hurts them? something like that? im sorry i dont know how to phrase it
thank you for reading this im so sorry if it triggered you or anything
Greetings, sweetbee. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, please, don't feel worried about reaching out to someone about this. I'm happy to help. 🩷🩷
Okay, so... Baby bee, it doesn't hurt deities when you feel depressed. When you battle suicidal thoughts. Or anything else that falls under those categories. Self harm, abusive environments, ect. They don't expect you to live for them, they don't expect you to suddenly become happy and for your mental illnesses &/or struggles to just pop out of existence because you're now worshiping or practicing.
Because they understand it.
I believe gods were once human a few times. I believe that gods understand the conditions, the harm, the - well - everything. They aren't going to approach your vulnerability with demands.
Now... I did struggle with it. I still do from time to time. I dealt with suicidal thoughts and depression since I was in the 2nd grade. And, in no way did it ever... Harmfully impact my relationship with my deities. My self harming never made them disgusted, they never judged me for the ways I'd cope, for the triggers I had, for the needs they met during my toughest times.
Yes, you can live for a deity or deities. I actually do it. It saved my life. But it's optional. And they won't feel - betrayed, or something like that because you cannot say with certainty you'll live for them. That you'll survive for them.
I didn't have a reason to keep living, I didn't see one. And that's why my deities became it. That's why we swore it to one another. Not out of obligation, not out of fear of them being hurt from otherwise.
In my experience, the only hurt I've seen from my deities regarding my mental issues and ect, was - well - the pain it caused me. It pained them to see me in pain. But it didn't make them want to leave me, it didn't make them irritated or feel disrespected because I cried in their presence. They didn't feel disrespected when I had so many fears and doubts that I for a long time couldn't even believe they were really... Real.
Deities know the difference from fear, from sorrow and pain speech, to disrespect and blatant hateful speech. They know your intentions, even if you yourself do not.
It can hurt your deities when they witness their beloved going through such a hard time. When they see them going through abuse, torment, and inflicting that pain on themselves, or seeing it as they deserved it/ect.
Deities want you to live a life that makes you happy, that's - healthy and loving for you. For your soul. They don't want to see their loved devotee/practitioner off themselves, to cut or starve themselves, to punish themselves for what other people did to them or what they feel is deserving of doing so. If that makes sense. They want to help. To be there. To try and let you see that you are lovable, that there is a life out there for you, that - you're worth it.
Apollon witnessed my depression firsthand when I started practicing. He didn't scowl at me when I was crying my heart out. Snotting and gasping, just - being a very big mess in front of him. He didn't see me as weak or as disrespectful. In fact, I've found out that deities - enjoy it. Well, not seeing you so upset, of course. But they enjoy that you trust them enough to do that with them.
To let yourself be so - raw. To feel these deep, stabbing emotions around them. From what I've experienced, they love being able to comfort their sweet ones. They love being able to tenderly hold them and shower them in kisses &/or kind words. To - reassure them.
Apollon listened to my vents night after night, he held my hands and let me know I was heard. I was - seen. I was loved.
Despite how much I feared love, despite how much I thought nobody would ever be able to understand, my deities showed me just that. Understanding, love, care, gentleness, and everything else I thought I never deserved. Especially not from beings so beautiful and perfect in my eyes.
You don't need to be scared to show your emotions around your deities. To show them your wounds. To - show them your pain. Just as, you don't need to be afraid to show them your happiness. Your interests. Your safe spaces.
Your deities want to be there for you, I promise. 🌼
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dont-justdont · 5 months
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here is a list of things that i so wish would happen in s2 of iwtv but im not really sure they will (im manisfesting it into being, sue me) :
- the europe trip before louis and claudia come to paris. i absolutely love that part of the book because in canon, louis and claudia do not know whether or not other vampires exist, and there's this desperation of are we alone in this world and can we go on knowing that? except in the show 1) claudia has already met killer so they know they're not alone so that desperation is not as palpable and 2) with everything that went down last episode and with rashid being armand i feel like it would drag things and not fit as well in the story to spend a whole episode before paris both for the viewers but in the perspective of story telling as a whole
- this does not happen in the books but just imagine : claudia and louis come into armand's rooms for the first time, louis is enamored with armand but claudia is looking around and armand has all these gothic horror looking things around including a pair of hands that kind of look like a statue but are also too gruesome and look too real to be made of rock and armand just says something along the lines of "you know how violinists can be" and changes the subject but i just want, no i need armand to have nicki's hands as a decoration somewhere i feel like he would definitely do that and it would just be a nice easter egg to put in the show (please mr producer please)
- lestat clutching claudia's dress in the theater after she dies and louis seeing him. THE DRAMA is just unbelievable and i absolutely love that scene, it's one of the things im mad they didnt include in the movie and i just hope with all my little heart they will include in the series. just imagine: feral louis who just got buried alive, armand in the back SATISFIED WITH HIMSELF (he is so manipulative i love him) and lestat just small and weak clutching a piece of claudia's dress while louis is both relieved but also terribly mad at lestat for being alive and just???? i love the entirety of this please make it come to life
- daniel fucking malloy requestioning the veracity of the entire story and just him being like was it raining louis?!? everytime louis speaks. i mean this is obviously going to happen but im so ready for it
- additionally, armand questioning daniel (cue devils minion? please pretty pretty please mr producer?) about the last years because i am convinced devils minion happened after the first interview but daniel doesnt remember/doesnt want to remember and i just NEED armand to torture him with that (not literally, or literally as well im not picky) and i need to see them together please
- lestat being seen through armand's perspective. now hear me out : sam has said multiple times that while he was playing lestat, he was playing him through louis' perspective of him, and he'd go like "nope that's not what happened" and bla bla bla. except now we get narrator!armand so im asking the question (and praying we get the answer) : what does lestat look like from armand's perspective? how does he act and how does that version of lestat contrast with louis'? DO THEY SEE THE CONTRADICTIONS BETWEEN THEMSELVES AND FREAK OUT ABOUT IT?!? (because i will) daniel you better call out their bullshit or i am coming for you
this is already a long post so ill leave this as is for now but i might (will) come back with more eventually, please tell me your hopes for s2 i cant wait!!!
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litaeque · 1 year
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Hi! Could you please do Rui + Tsukasa with a reader that has really bad nightmares? No pressure of course, take care of yourself
hihihii!!! you too anon don't forget to eat, drink, and sleep! enjoy<3 , i thought it would be fun to post this on april fools day since i was supposed to post this yesterday.. so uh
SLEEP WELL MY DARLING
character/s: rui kamishiro, tsukasa tenma x reader
cws: comfort with a tiny little angst (i swear), break up (implied and dw its just a nightmare..!!), takes place on their 3rd event!
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rui never sleeps like literally.
he finds sleeping nice but also a bothersome especially if he is very busy and he has a non-existent sleeping schedule anyway so why even bother sleeping?
but that doesn't change the fact that he wouldn't notice you shuffling your bed so much while he was working on something.
he walked towards you while also sitting down on the edge of your bed examining your face, and you looked.. troubled a lot.
so you were having a nightmare perhaps?
he slowly lean down to kiss your forehead to atleast make your nightmare go away (well he hoped it would work-) but instead you woke up even hitting him on the forehead while doing so but that doesn't matter right now!
rui was quick to hold you and kissed your forehead reassuring you that everything's fine
he asked if you had a terrible nightmare and ofcourse you said yes
he then questioned if you wanted to talk about it
if not- he will still comfort you and give you affection reminding you that he's always by your side.
if you tell him your nightmare, he's glad that you trusted him into telling him your nightmare
when you said that he wanted to break up with you, he felt his heart stop for a second right there.
it won't happen right?.. he knows that he'll have to let go soon or later on everything to achieve his dream but does losing you on the process really worth it..?
he quickly let go of those thoughts and pecked you in the lips constantly reminding you that was just a nightmare and it isn't real.
but was it really just a nightmare?
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tsukasa is quite a busy man especially when he's focused into becoming a star.
but that doesn't mean he won't able to make time with you!
so when you both were sleeping, his beauty rest was interrupted by the shuffling and movements on the bed.
he was confused and kind of annoyed but that immediately changed when he saw that it was just you doing that.
he thought you were awake so he tapped your shoulder to ask why you were shuffling the bed
but when he didn't got an answer he sighed quietly sad by the fact your ignoring, so he decided to go infront of you
when he turned on the night lamp he was immediately met by tears dropping down your face
he noticed that you were asleep.. but you were crying, as much as he didn't want to disturb you he had no choice but to wake you up he can't just stand there watching you crying your heart out without you even knowing it!
when you finally wake up he was quick to rush to be on your side patting you on the back telling you that everything's alright.
once you calmed down he wiped away your tears and he cant help but feel so devastated by just seeing you cry.
he then asked what happened, if you don't tell him it's completely alright! it's your choice to tell him so he won't force you he's just worried for you.
if you tell him about your dream, he felt a rush down to his stomach.
why would he break up with you? there's no way that's happening!
he will constantly tell you i love you's and that will never happen because your the light of his life, and what would he do without you?
besides that wont ever happen. right?
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