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baroquebucky · 3 years

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caress

soulmate au where when you touch your soulmate you see glimpses of your future with them; the winter soldier touches you and realizes there’s so much more out there

series masterlist // previous // epilogue

part five

word count: 6k (v worth it me thinks)

masterlist

a/n: the final official part has arrived bffs </3 i will be doing an epilogue of just pure fluff do not fret <333 i hope u all enjoy this one !! made it xtra long for y’all <3 let me know what you guys think pls !! , i cried writing jt and the ending is my favorite thing ever eeek !!!

You were sitting on the couch next to Natasha, it was quiet as the news played on the tv in front of the two of you, news reporters talking about the aftermath of Thanos’ doing.

23 days.

23 days since you had lost half the team, since you had lost half the universe. Since you had lost bucky.

Life was dull, you cried for hours on end at night, longing filling your chest. Sometimes you would dream of him, a smile on your face as you slept. Then you would wake up, reaching out next to you in hopes of your fingers being met with the cold vibranium of his arm. You were met with cold sheets, emptiness.

Steve missed him too, sometimes he would sit next to you when you were in tears, placing an arm around you and comforting you as best he could. Natasha and him took turns watching over you, making sure you stayed healthy.

The sound of low rumbling brought you out of the trance you were in, you furrowed your brows and looked at nat, she looked back at you equally as confused. As you went to get up things around you started shaking, steve came of the restroom concerned.

“what the hell is that?” You questioned, Rhodey and banner walking into the room together. The five of you ran out into the yard, looking up your eyes went wide. You recognized carol carrying the giant ship, you had met briefly when she came to earth after receiving Fury’s signal.

Your mouth flew open and tears filled your eyes as you saw tony, a smile on your face as Steve ran to tony, steadying him as the woman next to him handed him off.

The rest of you watched from afar as pepper ran up to tony, the two hugging. You felt your heart tug in your chest as the two soulmates embraced.

You were sat next to thor as while the others explained what happened, though you figured from the pain in their eyes they had suffered the consequences of thanos’ actions themselves.

“whats wrong with them?” Tony asked, looking at you and thor.

“oh he’s pissed, he thinks he failed, which he did-” the raccoon continued to talk but you zoned out.

“did barnes..?” Tony asked softly and steve nodded, his eyes softened, if he had the energy he would’ve gotten up and hugged you.

As they continued to talk you could see tony getting angrier at the captain, you hated it. You hated knowing that things would most likely never be the same between the two friends. You watched teary eyed as the two argued, the lump growing in your throat.

Thor placed his hand on you arm gently, reassuring you everything would be okay. You looked up and saw tony take out his arc reactor, shoving it into Steve’s hand.

“here, take this. You find him, and you put that on, you hide” tony spat, immediately falling to the ground. Steve was quick to catch him, holding him up.

Before you knew it he was passed out, steve carrying him quickly to a bed with steve and Rhodey hot on his heels.

You sat back down next to thor, he handed you some of whatever he was snacking on and you smiled at him softly. The two of you watching the rest of the team bicker and talk about where thanos was.

“-unfortunately they didn’t have you guys” carol replied to Rhodey, you looked at thor, nudging him and he nodded, getting up while he still chewed.

Thor walked up to carol, holding his hand out as Stormbreaker came to him, barely missing carol. The two stared at each other before thor nodded.

“I like this one” he turned to you and you gave him a tight lipped smile.

“Let’s go get this son of a bitch” steve spoke, a determined look on his face as everyone moved to get ready.

“y/n are you not coming?” Steve spoke and you hesisted, looking around before shaking your head.

“I’m gonna stay here with tony and pepper, in case they need something” you replied, fiddling with the dog tags you still wore around your neck.

Steve knew that wasn’t the reason, but he didn’t push you, simply nodding his head, giving you a hug and then walking away.

You sat back on the couch after letting pepper know you would be there if they needed anything. You let your mind wander back to the flash on you and bucky at a picnic, the sun seemed so bright and you caught yourself smiling as you thought of bucky. Your eyes were closed as you seemingly looped the flash of your futures in your head.

“isn’t the sunset so beautiful james” you sighed contently, a small smile on your face as you looked at the pinks and reds. You turned to look at bucky, but he was gone. “Bucky?” Your heart raced, tears in your eyes as you looked around.

“y/n?” You whipped around quickly, mouth falling open as you saw bucky fading into dust.

“no!” You cried out, running to catch him.

Your eyes shot open and your heart raced in your chest. That can’t be right, that can’t happen. Bucky was your soulmate. Those visions were set in stone they had to happen, those were the rules, they can’t just change all of a sudden. Right?

You peeked into the room, checking in on tony and pepper.

“can i get some water actually?” Pepper asked and you nodded, quickly coming back with water and some snacks for her. “Thanks” you whispered and you smiled at her.

“they’ll bring him back, i know they will” pepper reassured you. You gaveher the best smile you could manage and replied, “i know.”

You held out hope for the time the others were out. Shaking away the thought of the flashes of your future changing. It’s just because I’m on edge, that’s it. You reasoned, your leg bouncing as you waited for them to return.

Everyone walked in, you ran up to them hopeful for good news, you looked at steve with a smile, hugging him and holding your hand in his. He felt his heart crush in his chest, this was the happiest you’d been since the decimation and it was going to be torn from you immediately.

“so? did you get the stones? when are we getting everyone back? Does someone need to snap or clap or what? did you guys kill him?” You rushed out, eyes shining in hope as you looked at everyone. Your stomach fell as you saw the look on their faces.

“he destroyed them” Natasha spoke cautiously, “there’s no more stones, we- there’s nothing we can do.”

“oh,” was all you managed to say, your hand going limp in Steve’s, you felt a new wave of pain coming up and you didn’t want to have another meltdown infront of them.

“y/n, please we’re here for you” steve spoke, trying to grasp your hand again after you pulled it out of his.

“I’m fine” you smiled, walking away quickly to your room. Steve sighed, going to follow you but Natasha stopped him, knowing you would want some space.

You laid on your bed, at first nothing happened, you just looked up at your ceiling, an emptiness in your chest. Then it all hit you.

Bucky was gone, there was nothing that could bring him back. The one person you were destined to was gone and you couldn’t do a single thing about it. The little time you had together wasn’t nearly enough to you. The two day trips to wakanda left you wanting more, but you could never get more time. You were always out of time.

For years you had been praying to finally touch your soulmate, to meet them and live a long happy life together. You knew you would never get that the moment you reached out to bucky and saw your future with him. You knew the road would be bumpy but you held out hope, both of you did. You tried to keep him within your grasp, you tried to hold him close to your heart for as long as you could despite knowing you were out of time. You thought of how he would embrace you, how he would keep you safe in his arms while you slept.

Now you slept in an empty bed, knowing there wouldn’t be a next visit to wakanda. Knowing your soulmate was gone and you didn’t get to say goodbye. Knowing you were back to where you started- Alone.

——

Five years.

It had been five years since the Decimation happened, everyone else called it the blip.

Gently, you set down the bag of groceries, finally closing your apartment door after your third trip up. You arranged everything quietly, 40s music softly playing from your speaker and the jingle of Buckys dog tags filling the apartment.

You never took them off. They were all you had of him, they were the only thing to keep you going. You would fiddle with them and hold them close to your chest. They brought you comfort. The same comfort bucky would give you, the comfort he had given you during your time in wakanda. The same you should’ve had right in this moment.

One more fight

The words rang in your ears, taunting you. Rage, sadness and pain all filled your chest, your heart aching as you finished putting everything away, shutting the music off and turning on the tv. You looked down at the dog tags that rested on your chest, tears welling in your eyes as you read over them.

The hot tears fell down your face and you held the dog tags tightly in your hands, mind going blank as you let yourself wallow in the pain for a moment.

Your phone rang and you wiped your tears away, sniffling as you saw Steve’s contact picture. You hesisted before answering.

“hi steve!” You spoke brightly, putting on your best act.

“hey y/n how are you?” Steve spoke smoothly and you wiped at your tears before replying.

“I’m doing good! Just got back from the grocery store” you wanted to hang up, to just watch reruns of your favorite show and forget about everything

“are you sure?” Steve spoke cautiously and you replied quicker than you intended, “course I’m sure!”

Then there was a knock on your door.

“great because I’m outside” steve replied happily, hanging up and waiting outside. Your stomach fell, you looked in the mirror, your eyes and nose were redándolo your cheeks flushed.

Quickly you ran to splash water on your face, taking in a shaky breath as you dried your face and moved to open the door, putting a smile on your face and greeting steve.

“if it isn’t my favorite captain” you smiled, steve looked at you warily, taking you into a hug after you let him in.

“you forget i have enhanced hearing y/n, i know you were sniffling right before opening the door” steve spoke bluntly and your shoulders fell. “y/n, you can’t keep shutting me out, Natasha is worried about you too” he spoke softly, taking your hand and leading you to your couch.

“i just miss him” you whispered and steve sighed, pulling you into him so your head rested on his chest, he wrapped his arms around you as you cried quietly.

“i know, i do too, we just have to learn to live without him, he would want you to start a life y/n, you don’t have to be alone” steve spoke. His presence was calming.

You and steve had been friends for so long, there was a reason he knew he could call you when SHIELD fell. You were the one to help him adjust to modern society, you were his first friend out of the ice.

“how about you go shower and change, and I’ll make some food for us okay? We can watch your show while we eat” steve smiled, he knew you hadn’t showered in three days from the way your hair was tangled and messily thrown into a ponytail.

“okay” you nodded, smiling softly as he helped you up, handing you some tissues before the two of you headed to do your own things.

You were grateful for steve, he had always been there to check up on you, constantly making sure you were okay. You had basically shut everyone else out, Natasha didn’t really reach out. You didn’t blame her.

You walked out of your room, the smell of pasta hitting your nose and your stomach growled, steve smiled as he set out the two plates.

“tried my best” he mumbled and you shook your head.

“thank you steve” you hugged him tightly and he returned it, letting go after a couple moments so the two of you could eat.

“i saw some whales the other day” you spoke up, “when i was coming up the bridge” steve smiled, glad to know you were leaving the apartment.

“fewer ships, cleaner water” he nodded, “might tell Nat, I’m sure she could use some good news” you nodded.

The two of you ate in silence, watching your favorite show as you did. Steve stayed for a bit longer before heading back to the compound. He hugged you tightly and you held onto him.

“promise you’ll reach out” steve pleaded and you nodded, “I’ll try” he smiled at your words, it was a start.

It hadn’t even been an hour when steve was calling you again, you rolled your eyes as you answered the phone.

“steve im not crying i swear” you joked, a small smile on your face.

“you have to get to the compound” he spoke in a serious tone and your stomach dropped, “scott Lang is here” you felt your heart race.

“wasn’t he- i thought he-” you cut yourself off, moving to get a jacket and your car keys, “I’m on my way.”

When you arrived you rushed towards the living room watching as Scott paced infront of steve and Natasha

As you set next to steve, scott began to ramble, talking about quantum physics and his time i. The quantum realm.

“wait, are you talking about a time machine?” You asked him, and he shook his head.

“no, of course not, it’s like a- yeah a time machine i know it’s crazy but there’s gotta be a way” scott mumbled.

“Scott, i get emails from a raccoon, nothing sounds crazy anymore” you smiled at natashas comment.

“so who do we talk about this?” Scott asked nervously, you and steve looked at each other for a second.

Tony.

The four of you approached the cabin, your heart heavy as your eyes land on tony. You knew how much he wanted to just stay out of everything, he was happy for once, he was with his soulmate, he had a family.

“we know what it sounds like” Scott spoke as he finished explaining his plan.

You were quiet as tony and steve talked, Scott joining in when he mentioned his plan of a time heist.

“we can bring everyone back” Natasha reasoned and tony scoffed a little. “Or we could make things worse” he stated and you shifted. The four bickered for a while longer before you spoke up.

“Tony, we have to take a stand” his eyes landed on you and his gaze softened a bit.

“we did stand, and yet here we are” he spoke sharply.

“i know you got a lot on the line, a wife, a daughter, but i lost someone very importantly me, a lot of people did-” you zoned out as Scott spoke, your eyes resting on the lake and watching as the water moved slowly.

“Mommy told me to come and save you!” Morgan smiled as Tony picked her up. You smiled at the pair.

“good job, I’m saved” tony smiled at her, he turned to you guys before sighing, “i wish you’d come to ask for something else, i missed you guys” his eyes were soft and he spoke sincerely.

“I’m happy for you, i really am. But this is a second chance” steve pleaded and tony replied quickly, “i got my second chance right here.”

“Aunt y/n!” Morgan smiled as her eyes landed on you, wiggling out of her dads grasp as she ran to hug you.

“hi little stark” you smiled, picking her up with ease and carrying her on your hip.

Tony smiled at you as the steve and Natasha looked at you in confusion.

“i visit, I’m not a horrible person” you mumbled, you knew steve would have some choice words for you later.

“If you don’t talk shop, you can stay for lunch” tony spoke up, the others sighed, walking towards the car.

You set Morgan down, telling her to head inside. You gave Tony a hug, “I’ll visit soon, just haven’t been feeling the best” you mumbled and he rubbed your back.

“you always have a room here y/n” he smiled softly and you nodded, waving goodbye before going the other three in the car.

“we’re gonna need a big brain” steve spoke, Scott looked at him in disbelief.

“bigger than his?” Scott questioned and you rolled your eyes, knowing you would be seeing Bruce soon.

“can you drop me off at home actually?” you spoke up, steve looking at you for a moment before nodding, driving to your apartment building. You got out quickly and said goodbye, “let me know what you guys find” steve, Natasha and Scott nodded, wishing you goodnight.

The cold New York air nipped at your skin as you rushed up your stairs, holding your jacket tightly as you fumbled with your key and let yourself in, sighing when you closed the door.

You changed into your pajamas quickly, brushing your teeth before grabbing the notebook and your pen on your nightstand and sliding into bed. You flipped to the next empty page as you began to write.

hi james,

today was okay, steve came over and found me crying. he stayed and made dinner, he’s been taking care of me for a while now, i feel kinda guilty.

You continued to write into the journal, letting all your feelings pour out into the page. As you finished for the night you clicked you pen and set them on your nightstand. You had finished all the pages in the notebook already. With a sigh you got up from your bed, grabbing the small notebook and placing it on the floor as you reached for a container under your bed.

You reached for the lid and opened it, there were numerous other notes book, you placed the one you had just written in next to your last one, closing the lid and sliding it back under your bed.

For the past five years you’ve been writing to bucky, it helped you stay somewhat sane. If he ever came back you didn’t want him to feel left out, you wanted to make sure he felt like he didn’t miss those five years of your life. You wanted him to be there. Your hands fiddled with the dog tags as you laid on your side.

You needed him to be here with you.

The next morning you woke up to a call from steve, with fuzzy vision your answered the phone, bringing it to your ear.

“hello?” You mumbled and steve spoke quickly, your eyes widened as he spoke.

“tony found a way” was all you needed to hear to have you scrambling to get ready.

“be there in 30” you rushed out, a smile on your face. You felt hope blossoming in your chest, thoughts of the picnic with bucky flooded your mind as you got ready.

You were going to get him back. You were going to be together.

You ran into the compound as smiled at those around you, rocket looked at you in shock when you smiled at him.

“didn’t know she did that” he remarked and Scott looked at him equally as shocked.

“Steve! Tony!” You beamed, crashing into them and taking them into a group hug. You let out a sigh of happiness.

“Is it true? Can we actually get them back?” Your eyes shined and tony found his heart growing, it had been so long since you had been happy.

“we have a shot kid” he nodded, “Clint just tried it out and it worked,” your smile grew, throwing your arms around him as everyone gathered into the room

“well what are we waiting for? Let’s plan this heist!” You smiled, looking at everyone and steve nodded.

You listened as everyone spoke, sharing their knowledge on the stones. You sat next to Natasha who was taking notes, glancing over at them your gears turned, speaking up as they talked about Stephen Strange.

“he lived in New York?” You questioned and they nodded, Tony rolling his eyes at you, “are you paying attention?”

“if you pick the right year there’s three stones in New York” you replied quickly, everyone looking at you in surprise.

Not long after your realization there was finally a formulated plan. You were nervous, excited and hopeful. You were going to get everyone back, you were going to get bucky back.

“Six stones, three teams, one shot” you mumbled, everyone nodding as you looked at the plan you had come up with steve and tony.

“I’ll stay behind just in case, you all know what you’re doing and ive been out of the loop so” you trailed off and they nodded.

“you already did enough, i mean you came up with the whole plan” tony scoffed and you smiled at him.

“you guys got this” you encouraged them, natasha smiling at you. Without hesitating you pulled the three in for a hug, squeezing tightly before letting go.

“okay, go kick some ass” you smiled.

The team filed onto the time machine and you waited by the buttons, looking for steve signal.

“see you in a minute” natasha called out to you and you waved goodbye, pressing the buttons and holding your breath and they all shrunk and disappeared from your sight.

It was only a minute later when they all appeared, you smiled as you ran up to them, quickly doing a headcount. Your stomach fell when you saw Natasha was missing.

“Clint wheres nat” you asked quietly, voice shaking. He didn’t reply. You stumbled back, teary eyed as you walked out.

You looked at the lake, steve, Tony, thor, Clint and Bruce gathered around you.

“do we know if she had any family?” Tony asked and you scoffed.

“us” steve spoke up and Thor looked at them confused.

“you’re acting like she’s dead, why are we acting like she’s dead?” Thor spoke up, his voice growing louder and you winced as he continued, Clint soon jumping in and arguing with him. The two men shouted and you let your tears fall silently, steve noticed and wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into his chest.

“she’s not coming back” Bruce mumbled quietly.

“we have to make it worth it” you spoke up, wiping your tears and standing up.

“we will” steve spoke, getting up after you did.

“the what are we waiting for” you looked at them with a small smile, squeezing Clint’s arm before walking past him and into the lab.

You waited anxiously for them to finish the gauntlet, jumping up when rocket walked in with it in hand.

“who’s gonna snap their freaking fingers?” Thor spoke up, immediately volunteering.

“no Thor, wait a second” you stopped him, everyone else protesting his actions.

“what we’re just waiting for the right opportunity?” He huffed and Scott spoke up.

“we should at least discuss it”

Thor nodded his head, speaking up again, “I’m the strongest avenger this is my responsibility, it’s my duty” you were quick to stop him.

“it’s not about that” you spoke gently. He furrowed his brows and turned to look at you angrily.

“stop it! Just let me!” You could see the tears in his eyes, “let me do something good, something right”

Tony explained to him the power the stones had, trying to reason for him to not do it. Thor argued right back before Bruce cut him off, explaining how it almost killed thanos when he snapped and how no one else could survive it.

“how do you know you will?” Steve asked cautiously.

“it’s mainly gamma, it’s like i was made for this” he whispered as everyone moved back you noticed Nebula was missing.

Bruce’s grunts of pain made you focus back onto him, “are you okay? talk to me!” You screamed, frantic as he yelled in pain.

“I’m okay!” He spoke fighting against the pain and snapping his fingers, you held your breath as he did so, your heartbeat thumping in your ears.

You looked out the window and saw two birds, a smile on your face as you realized it had worked. Clint had a smile on his face as he answered a call, “honey, honey!” He spoke.

You turned to tell the team it had worked, but before you could you were blasted away by missiles, the compound crumbling underground.

You groaned as you heard rocket calling out for her, you and Rhodey doing your best to free him. Finally he wiggled free, the three of you sighing before your eyes went wide. A flood of water washing over the three of you as you panicked.

Rhodey called for help and you heard Scott on the other end. You kept your head up high, trying to not drown, rocket clung onto you as Bruce tried to hold the structure up.

“see you on the other side” Rhodey spoke and you geared up shaking your head.

“Hang on! I’m coming!” Scott yelled and you tried your best to stay above water, Rhodey struggling next to you as rocket clung onto your back.

Before you knew it you were clinging onto Scott as he turned into giant man, Rocket continued to Clint onto you and Rhodey held on for fear life.

Scott placed you and rocket down, you spotted the wakandans next to you and ran towards them, smiling as you saw t’challa and shuri amongst them.

“shuri!” You cried out, hugging her tightly. She handed you a gun and some knives and you quickly strapped them to you. “How’d you know” you smiled and she shrugged.

“you people never seem prepared for battle” she teased and you smiled, standing next to her as you prepared to face thanos’ army.

Your eyes scanned the crowd for bucky, heart beating louder and louder and you couldn’t find him. You ran onto the battlefield with everyone, immediately shooting and fighting the aliens off.

You shot them as fast as you could, but they were quickly surrounding you, grunting as one of them tackled you,

Before you could even think of grabbing a knife it’s body fell limp and you pushed it off you, looking at the bullet wounds.

“hope you haven’t been fighting like that this whole time doll”

You felt your heart drop and your stomach flutter. Bucky.

You turned around quickly, a smile on your face as your eyes met his baby blue one. Your smile grew as you ran towards him, dropping your gun and throwing yourself onto him. He picking you up as you wrapped your legs around his waist, holding you tightly.

“you’re here, you��re back, you’re here” you spoke over and over, tears streaming down your cheeks as you buried your face into the crook of his neck.

“I’m here doll” he reassured you, holding onto you tightly and closing his eyes for a moment. The sound of an alien screaming made you snap out of your bubble.

You groaned as you picked up your gun, shooting it in the head before turning back to bucky, you smiled at him before crashing your lips onto his. He smiled into the kiss, leaning in for a second before the two of you pulled away.

“been waiting five years to do that” you spoke breathless and bucky smiled at you.

“after this you can kiss me all you want sweets” he spoke and you giggled, moving to press your backs against one another, shooting at the aliens.

You thought back to wakanda, how familiar it all was. But this time you would win. This time it was your last fight, you would win and you could go home with bucky. You could be with your soulmate.

You watched as the other tossed the gauntlet around, trying to keep it away from thanos.

“Bucky we have to go help them!” You called out and he nodded, the two of you running towards where steve, Thor and tony were, helping fend off the aliens attacking them.

You saw thanos get the gauntlet and you felt you blood run cold, you froze in your spot. Please, not again. You turned to bucky, dropping your weapon as you clung onto him tightly.

“not letting you go again” you mumbled, kissing him before letting go and grabbing a knife from your suit and running towards the titan.

You threw the knife at thanos with all you had, lodging it in his shoulder. He cried out in pain as it stabbed him, giving Tony the chance to attack him once more, pulling the gauntlet before Thanos punches him away.

“I am inevitable” thanos spoke, your blood ran cold as he snapped, flinching away when he did. When nothing happened you looked at him once more, a smile on your face as you saw the glove had no stones.

“And i” tony spoke, “am Iron man” he snapped his fingers, the white light blinding you before bucky pulled you into him, shielding you from the light.

As the two of you looked again you saw the aliens fading into dust. You held Buckys hand tightly, your knuckles white. You looked at him in excitement, wrapping your arms around his neck when you realized you had won.

You had won.

Turning quickly you ran to look for tony and steve, the smile falling from your face when you saw peter over Tony’s body.

You ran towards him, falling to your knees next to him.

“tony? no you can’t” you shook your head, tears welling in your eyes and he turned to look at you.

“hey kid, take care of my girls yeah?” He smiled and you shook your head, “you can take care of em you have to hold on a bit longer” you protested.

“always told you that you had one hell of a throw” he chuckled dryly, “‘ts what helped me get the stones” he smiled gently and you broke down into tears, “you have him now, you’ll be okay” he whispered.

Bucky pulled you aside, letting pepper speak to tony. You cried into Buckys chest, not knowing what would happen to you if you looked back.

It happened so fast.

You were in a black dress outside the cottage you had visited countless time. You didn’t imagine the next time you visited would be for Tony’s funeral.

Bucky held your hand, his thumb making small circles on the back of your hand to calm you down. You could help but lean into him, his presence relaxing you immediately.

You smiled fondly as you thought back to the time tony tried to talk you into breaking up with bucky one time after you came back from wakanda. You knew he was joking but he still felt a little bad, buying you dinner as compensation

As the service ended you followed bucky, steve and Sam to the time machine where Bruce waited.

You stood next to bucky as steve said goodbye to Sam, walking up to you guys next.

“Don’t do anything stupid ‘til i get back” steve spoke and bucky smiled.

“how can i? you’re taking all the stupid with you” the hugged tightly for a bit before pulling apart.

“gonna miss you buddy” bucky sighed and steve looked at him softly.

“it’s gonna be okay buck” he turned to you.

“bye steve” you let out softly, bottom lip quivering. He hugged you tightly, kissing your temple softly.

“you’re still gonna be my favorite best friend” he spoke softly and you smiled, letting out a soft chuckle before sniffling.

“you finally have him back y/n, you’re gonna be happy, i promise” you nodded and hugged him one more time, knowing it would be the last time.

As he stepped into the time machine you melted into Buckys side, he put an arm around you and kissed the top of your head.

Steve vanished as he went to return the stones, seconds later Bruce signaled to bring him back, but he didn’t appear.

“where is he?” Sam spoke, worry lacing his voice.

“I don’t know he blew right past his time stamp, he should be here” Bruce panicked and you and bucky looked around your eyes landing Onondaga older version of him sitting on a log.

You nudged bucky as you heard sam and Bruce arguing.

“sam” you called out, looking at him before back at steve. Sam walked towards you cautiously as you pointed at steve.

“go ahead” bucky spoke to the man, the two of you smiled at sam as he approached steve.

You and bucky smiled as steve handed sam the shield. A grin on your face as he put the shield on his arm.

“he’s gonna be a great captain america” bucky smiled fondly and you nodded. “Steve made the right choice” you added.

The two of you walked away hand in hand, getting into your car and heading back to your apartment. Bucky settled in quickly, sitting on your couch and pulling you down with him, a small squeal leaving your lips as your back crashed onto his chest.

“missed you so much buck” you mumbled, wiggling so that you could cuddle into him, leaving open mouthed kisses on his neck and onto his jawline.

“i missed you too doll” he whispered, kissing you softly, his hand moving to the back of your neck. He pulled away when he pinky felt the familiar chain of his dog tags, hooking it onto his pinky and pulling them out from under your shirt.

“you kept them?” He looked at you teary eyed and you nodded, heart racing.

“they were the only thing left of you, course i did” you smiled, taking them off and placing them onto him, fixing them so that they laid on his chest.

“that reminds me!” You smiled, getting off of him and running to your room, pulling the bin from under your bed and carrying it towards bucky.

“i- uh- when you were gone i wrote in these journals almost everyday, to kinda keep you up to date for when you got back” you smiled sheepishly and bucky felt his heart grow in his chest.

“you never lost faith?” He questioned, he could hear his heartbeat in his ears. You shook your head.

“sometimes i wanted to” you mumbled, holding his hand in yours, “but you never took me on a picnic so i wasnt letting you go so easily” you pouted and he smiled, kissing you.

The two of you smiled into the kiss, giggling and he peppered kisses all over your face.

“I’m your forever y/n y/l/n” bucky whispered, his forehead resting against yours. You felt your heart rate speed up, your stomach full of butterflies. Closing your eyes as you relished the moment.

“and I’m yours forever bucky barnes” you kissed him softly before opening your eyes, the two of you pulling away a bit.

You reached out and caressed his cheek, you smiled at each other. You finally had your soulmate, and you had forever together.

#bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes blurb #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes completed series #bucky barnes drabble #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes soulmate au #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes #bucky barnes headcanon #bucky barnes imagine #soft bucky barnes

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sunflowersoldat · 3 years

Text

Man Out of Time Pt. 5

Warnings: bit of angst, pretty tame actually.

Pairing: Steve x reader

Word Count:~ 1800

Summary: Your little slice of heaven wouldn't last long, this is the chance they have all been waiting for, will a pair of pretty blue eyes drag you into the fray again?

Steve Rogers Masterlist

Main Masterlist

You were out riding late that night needing the cool night air to calm you down, it was just you, Clyde and Fenris, just like any other night. You stared up at the sky and wondered how the other parts of the universe were handling Thanos’ snap, were they thriving? Or were they suffering like Earth was.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when you rode up to the drive and saw a car parked outside your gate; empty. You hightailed it to the house, pulling your gun from your leg holster, you walked around to the back door, lifting your finger to your lips signaling Fenris to stay quiet. The house was dark with only the light of the moon filtering in through the windows to guide you, but you knew your way around, even in the dark. You rounded the corner into the living room, where a figure stood alone, you pointed the gun at their back, the glow of the moon outside outlining their massive frame,

“Put your hands where I can see them, don’t try anything, or you won’t be leaving here on your own two feet.”

The figure raised their hands slowly, turning around, it happened too fast, the figure turned all the way towards you and disarmed you. You knew those moves and knew there was only one person who could pull them off on you.

“What the fuck is up with you and sneaking into my houses!? Do you have a death wish?!”

The figure chuckled, “Steven Grant Rogers I’m serious I could have shot you, super soldier serum or not, a shot through the heart would kill…”

You were cut off when his lips met yours, full of need. For a moment you let yourself get lost in the kiss,

“Oh, wow should I go? Let you both have the place to yourselves?”

You ripped your lips from Steve’s as the living room light flickered on, you turned to the voice, placing your hand to your forehead,

“Nat?! What are you both doing here? How did you even find me?” Nat smirked at you,

“You didn’t think you could hide this little slice of heaven forever, did you?” she raised her brow, you scoffed,

“Wouldn’t have been like this if you guys had just listened. You made your choice I made mine.”

Nat pursed her lips, “Thanks for the help on that mission by the way, oh wait.”

You clenched your fist and made a move towards her, but Steve grabbed your arm stopping you in your tracks,

“Nat. We didn’t come here for that.” Steve scolded You tore your arm way almost losing balance,

“Why the hell are you here?! And how the fuck did you find me?!”

Steve raised his hands in surrender, “Tony. Tony told us.”

You groaned and turned into the kitchen, Steve followed behind and placed your pistol onto the counter.

“That lousy son of a bitch.” You shook your head,

“We figured it out Y/N.”

You turned to Steve, “Excuse me?” your brows knitting together,

“Well actually Scott and Tony figured it out. We can save everyone.”

Nat stepped in, “But for this to work we need everyone onboard.”

You laughed darkly, “Of course.”

“Y/N…” Steve reached for you, but you pulled back again,

“We are really going to go through this fight again, I wanted out, that is the whole reason I left!”

You were so pissed now, “Tony sent us to get you Y/N we are sure this is the only chance we will get; we have to-”

Steve was cut off as your hand connected with his cheek, you were fuming now, he turned back to you shocked that you had just slapped him.

“How dare you! Tony has a family, you pulled him back into this!? I understand grieving and trying for a year or two, but it has been 5 years Steven enough is enough!! I miss them too, believe me, but this has to stop.”

Still stunned from you slapping him, Steve turned to Nat, and nodded his head towards the door, she rolled her eyes, as she walked out the front door slamming it with a huff. Steve placed his hands on the counter.

“Y/N…” he whispered, looking at you.

His face red from where you slapped him, but there was such sadness in his eyes, you heart lurched, you hated seeing him like this, but you couldn’t go through all of this again, “We can’t go wrong this time. I promise this is the last time. Please and if it doesn’t work, I’ll give it up.”

Your expression softened as you placed your hand on his cheek,

“I’m sorry…” you whispered rubbing your thumb across the angry red patch, “What if you don’t make it back?” your eyes now stinging with tears, he placed his hand over yours on his cheek,

“Then at least I tried.”

You shook your head, “You have given the world more of you than it deserves Steven. What about those you care about you? What happens to them when you don’t come back…” what happens to me, the words clinging to the air around you, never leaving your mouth, but he knew what you meant. He closed his eyes and sighed.

“I am going to fix this sweetheart, I have to…”

“But at what cost?” you walked away from him and towards your room, putting your gun in its proper place, “You can see yourself out.” You walked into your room, closing the door you texted Tony:

Y/N: Traitor

TS: Aww come on kiddo it couldn’t have been that bad right?

Y/N: Is this an actual chance Tony?

Y/N: Be completely honest.

Y/N: Just answer Y or N.

TS: Y

You sighed throwing your phone onto the bed. Here we go again.~

You arrived at the compound early the next morning, Tony met you at the main door, and led you through to the hangar where they were keeping said Quantum ‘Time Machine’.

“Jesus Tony you weren’t lying.” You raised a brow in his direction. Tony chuckled and looked at you,

“I don’t usually lie…” he smiled slightly, “We actually have a chance kid.”

You side-eyed him “Do you actually believe that?”

Tony sighed, “I have to.”

You looked to the floor slowly nodding. If anyone could actually figure out the science of time travel leave it to Tony. You heard the hangar door close behind you, both you and Tony turn around, Steve and Natasha were walking towards you, but Steve is looking at the ground shaking his head at Natasha who is walking backwards,

“Steve don’t beat yourself up, she made her own decision, you can’t help that. She is lucky to wake up this morning after how she acted, I wanted to kick her ass.”

You laughed to yourself, “You know you can still try Romanoff; I’ll even tie one hand behind my back to give you a better chance.”

Crossing your arms you smirked at her, as she lost her balance whirling around to face you. Steve’s head snapped up, eyes brightening once they landed on you. Tony chuckled next to you nudging you with his elbow,

“Play nice.” He whispered, then raising his voice so the others could hear, “It’s nice of the both of you to finally join us, I was just filling Y/N in on our plan of action for tomorrow.”

Steve and Nat finally reached you and Tony, “Glad you changed your mind.” Steve said quietly a small smile playing at his lips.

“Glad I didn’t have to kick your ass.” Nat snapped with a wink, linking her arm with Tony’s “Come on Tony lets go see how the others are doing with the test runs.”

You rolled your eyes and turned back to Steve, taking him in, he was wearing a grey long sleeve Henley, that hugged all his muscles in all the right places, and a pair of light wash jeans that did everything for his ass. Steve watched Nat and Tony walk away as Nat turned her head and winked. Steve furrowed his brow together,

“Tomorrow?! Wait why not now?” You reached for his arm as he walked past you, barely missing him, fuck, you needed to talk. You turned to follow,

“Steve.” You whispered.

No response, you walked quickly trying to catch up before he made it to the team,

“Steve!” you whispered louder, still no response, you huffed trying to catch him before he met up with the rest of the team. You opened your mouth the hiss at him again, but it was too late you were in the same room with the rest of the team.

“Tony why don’t we do it now? We have waited long enough; we have everything planned. This can’t go wrong.” Steve stated sternly.

You turned your head at him, trying to understand why he was suddenly in such a rush. Tony shrugged and looked around at the team,

“I am fine with that, is that okay with everyone else? Are you all ready?”

Everyone around you started to nod, with a few quietly saying yes.

“Um I’m sorry, what exactly am I supposed to be doing? What team am I on?” you piped up, giving a nervous glance around the room.

Both Tony and Steve turned to you, “You will be with us.” Tony states with a shrug, “we need you to hack into the cameras up at Stark Tower when Loki attacked. Both Loki’s Scepter and the Tesseract are there at that point in time. We just need you to keep us off the cameras, that’s all.”

You took a deep breath, “Okay then, let’s do it.”

You were so nervous, you prayed everything would workout. Nat handed you a suit and you followed Steve down the hall to go change. You inhaled sharply, grabbing him by the arm,

“Look Steve, we need to talk. I know I shouldn’t have left, the way I did, but this whole process, I can’t keep going through it over and over. I meant what I told you back in Wakanda…”

Steve shook his head and cut you off placing his hand on your cheek. “Don’t worry about it Sweetheart, we can talk about it when we get back. Let’s focus on making sure everyone makes it back in one piece. Okay?”

He helped you suit up as you nodded your head. “You promise we can work this out?” you whisper, he touched your cheek again nodding, grabbing your hand and leading you to the ‘time machine’.

You stepped into the circle next to Steve and Tony.

“Ready?” Tony asked everyone, “go in, get out, don’t get caught, we will meet back here, stones in hand, and bring everyone back.”

Everyone nodded. “On three.” Steve started the countdown,

“See you in a minute.” Nat said with a wink.

Sunflowersoldat's OG Bucky Duckies

@texan-tazzy

@tianamontag

@daiseychaindisaster

Taglist:

@Stumbleonmywords

@fangirllife98

@vicmc624

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vdlest · 3 years

Text

Definition of Heaven

Characters:

Husband!Bucky Barnes x Wife!Reader

Summary:

You found out you were pregnant with Bucky's baby when the blip took place. You keep the baby and raised him by yourself. You have always believed that Bucky will come back to you and your son, Gabriel. Five years later, the Avengers won, Bucky came home to you and Gabriel.

Warning:

Fluff

For the past 5 years, it has always been just you, your son, Gabriel, and the rest of the Avengers like Nat and Steve. You found out you were pregnant with Bucky's child when the blip took place, and during that time, Bucky was in Wakanda and that's where he vanished in thin air just like everyone else who got snapped out because of the son of a bitch creature, Thanos.

It was Steve who told you that Bucky vanished as well, so you told him about your situation, about your pregnancy. He and Nat suggested that you stay with them in the compound to make sure your safe pregnancy and to help you as well throughout your journey to motherhood, which you happily agreed on. You stayed with them and they helped you a lot, they made your journey easier, however, the thought of Bucky is still in your mind and your heart. You always miss him, and you told yourself you'll always love him.

After nine months of nurturing and sheltering your baby inside you, you finally gave birth to a handsome healthy baby boy. When you saw your baby's blue eyes, you knew he got it from Bucky. You ended up naming him Gabriel, the name of your late grandfather who raised you after your parents died. Gabriel gave light to your darkness, not just to you but to everyone else like Nat and Steve. You did everything to raise him well, a strong and brave one, who's not afraid to do what is right and good. His first crawl, first step, first walk, first word, you witness them all, and you wished Bucky did too.

Five years later, Steve and Nat had a strong belief that they can actually bring everyone back but it's high-risk. With the help of the remaining avengers, Clint, Thor, Bruce, and the shrinking guy, Scott or he calls himself the Ant-man, they were able to retract all the infinity stones in the past, but like what was mentioned, it's high-risk. Nat risked her life to be able to get the soul stone. Losing her broke your heart, she's like a sister to you. But she's not the only avenger who fell, Tony Stark did too when he snapped his fingers to save everyone.

Despite the pain of losing two important people in your life, Bucky came home to you and your son. When he found out about Gabriel, he instantly kneeled in front of your son as he introduces himself as his father. You could still remember how Gabriel answered him, I know, I always see your picture on mom's locket. Then, your Gabriel opened his arms to give Bucky, his dad, a hug of a lifetime. You can't help but feel emotional while watching them meet each other. Bucky may not be able to see him for the past five years, you know, he would make it up to both of you, especially to Gabriel.

•••

The morning breeze embraces your body as you go out on your room's balcony to have your morning coffee. The two boys are still sleeping in the master's bedroom of the house that you and Bucky bought after the blip. Your view is the sun shining above the small village you are living in, just like how the sun shines on the world again after five years of darkness.

After Tony's funeral, everything happened so fast. You, Bucky, and Gabriel reunite as a family, just like everyone else did with theirs. Bucky did everything to make it up to you and Gabriel, he worked hard and you both finally had the means to move into your dream house and here you are now, living in the life you wanted for so long.

"Perfect view, isn't it?"

You turned around and saw Bucky about to join you on the balcony. He's wearing his white shirt and his favorite pajamas.

"Good morning," you greeted him, "I thought you are still asleep with Gabriel inside, I didn't want to wake you up. You two are like snoring machines," you joked.

He chuckled as he makes his way towards where you are standing.

You and Bucky were able to pick up where you left off everything before the blip. You two became inseparable after the blip, both of you are scared of losing one another again. You haven't talked about getting married yet but you are already happy and contented with the life you have right now, it's like you're living in heaven already beside your two angels.

As he comes closer to you, he grabs your mug and placed it on top of a table, afterwards, he put both of your hands around his neck and his hands are on your waist. You two almost look like dancing.

Being five years away from him was like living in hell, you always miss him and there were nights when you'll just cry yourself to sleep. But when Gabriel came into your life, you knew you had to be strong for both of you. You just silently hope that one day, Bucky will find his way home to you. And he did.

He stared at you, a smile on his face, "Did I ever say thank you to you?" he suddenly asked.

You frowned, "Thank you?" you chuckled, "For what?"

"For being the love of my life, for choosing me, for bringing Gabriel to our lives, for living this life with me," he put strands of hair at the back of your ear as he cups your cheeks, "Thank you for being so brave all these years. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for loving me unconditionally," he said while staring at your eyes wistfully.

There he is again. Being sentimental about the time he lost and the time he could've been with you to support you.

He always feels so sorry for not being there for you when you found out that you're having a baby, for not being there when you're experiencing morning sickness, for not being by your side when you are screaming at the top of your lungs as you push Gabriel out of your womb. You understood his regrets but you have always believed that he may not be physically there, he is there with you, he's inside your heart.

"I could've been there for you when you found out that you're pre--"

You put your finger on top of his lips and shushed him, "Stop it, will you?" You removed your finger on his lips, moving your hands on both of his cheeks, "How many times do I have to tell you that you should stop saying those things? Bucky, we are here and you'll never lose us again. We'll never lose each other again," you vowed. "And you don't have to thank me for those reasons you mentioned because I did those things out of love, out of my love for you," you rested your forehead against his chin, "I did those things because I love you."

"And I love you too," he murmured, feeling his kiss on your forehead, "I love you and Gabriel more than my own life."

Bucky being a father to Gabriel is amazing. You could see his eagerness to make it up to him not just by giving him toys or any tangible things, but by giving him the attention, time, and love your son deserves. There were times you'd see him reading books about fatherhood and how to be a good father. You could really see his great effort to get to know fatherhood even more.

"Dad, Mom?"

You and Bucky slightly pulled away from each other as you both hear Gabriel behind the two of you.

"Hey, munchkin," you detach yourself from Bucky, as both of you make your way towards to doorframe where your son is standing in his pajamas. You and Bucky kneeled in front of your son, "Had a good sleep?" you asked him, fixing his messy brown hair.

"Yes, I had a good dream too!" Gabriel excitedly said, switching his eyes between you and Bucky.

Bucky pulled Gabriel in between the two of you, "Can you tell me and your mom about your dream?" he asked.

Gabriel nodded, still smiling from ear to ear, "I dreamed of seeing mommy in a beautiful white gown, and you're wearing a white suit, daddy," he said while excitement is still in his eyes. "I also saw Uncle Steve, Uncle Clint, Uncle Sam, Aunt Wanda, and the rest of your friends!" he added.

You and Bucky exchanged glances when you both heard what Gabriel's dream is about.

"What else did you see?" Bucky asked while his eyes are still looking at you.

"You and Mommy kissed," Gabriel continued then he sighed, "Then Daddy said he will take care of you forever, he will make you happy every single day."

You and Bucky kept on staring at each other while Gabriel is talking about his dream, that you two are getting married in his dream. The two of you haven't talked about getting married just yet, but Bucky already gave you his word and you have faith in him.

Gabriel went inside again to brush his teeth, leaving you and Bucky on the balcony again.

Bucky stood up and helped you next to stand up as well. He held both of your hands once you are both standing in front of each other.

"Our son's growing nonstop," Bucky reflected.

You nodded, "I know," you playfully pouted your lips, "Our baby is growing too fast."

"So what do you say about giving him a little sister or a little brother?" he teased you, then he planted a kiss on the back of your hand, "Or should we plan our wedding first?"

"Are you really sure this is what you want?" you asked him, your smile slowly fading away.

Bucky's brows furrowed, "What do you mean?" he seems puzzled. "What do you mean if I'm sure if this is what I want?" he added.

You took a deep breath, "Bucky, I just want to be sure you really want this whole thing, me as your wife, us as one family. Not that I don't trust you or I don't want you to, but I just want to make sure that I'm not forcing you to do this," you stuttered.

"Y/n, you're confusing me."

"Okay," you sighed, "Bucky, before the blip, we are together, right? It wasn't really our plan to have a baby, but it happened anyway. Gabriel is the biggest blessing for us, I just don't want you to think that you have an obligation to me, to marry me just because you have a baby with me. I want you to marry me for the right reason, not because I have your child." Your hand moved on top of his, "Bucky, I love you. You know that, right? But I don't want to pressure you into enteri--"

"Look, y/n," he said, stopping you from finishing your sentence, "I know this wasn't our original plan, this wasn't I had in my mind five years ago when I thought of us and our future, but I couldn't think of any best way of having a future with you. Before the blip, I kept on asking myself why I had to go through those pain all those years, and when I met you, I finally understood why. Those pain will bring me to you, my lightbringer. Now, I have more reason to let go of my past, I have you and Gabriel now. I have both of you as my family," he walked closer to you and cupped your face, "And don't think that I am marrying you as an obligation or what because it would be my pleasure and my honor to marry an amazing woman. I will marry you, not because you are the mother of my child but because I want you to be my wife, I want to see you every single time I wake up and before I go to sleep. I want to grow old with you and it may sound cliche as it is, it's true. I want to spend my life with you."

His words made your worries disappeared. His words made you believe that he's the guy who would make all your worries and doubts vanish in thin air.

"So I gonna ask you now," he let of your face and he removed his dog tags around his neck, "Will you marry me?"

It was a spontaneous proposal. He doesn't have a ring with him, but all he could offer and give you are his dog tags. It may not be the usual way of proposing to women, but you couldn't think of any best alternative for that one. Anyway, you like uniqueness.

You smiled at him, "Yes, I will marry you, James Buchanan Barnes."

Bucky pulled you towards him and kissed your forehead, "I love you," he said before kissing your lips next.

After he kissed you, he puts on his dog tags around your neck.

"I knew it will look more good on you," he said, staring at his dog tags on your neck.

You chuckled, "I love you, Bucky."

He pulled you towards him for a hug and you knew at that very moment, you have everything you'll ever gonna need in your life.

Having Bucky and your son, Gabriel by your side forever is your definition of heaven.

-v.dl

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagine #marvel #bucky barnes fluff

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jadedxrealityw · 3 years

Text

-Mind Stone- Peter Parker x Female Reader Part 2

☼-☪-☼

Kody: Part 2 in this shit

Movie/Show: After Endgame, but no one died because ignorance is bliss.

Summary: In the attack of 2012, you were given powers that you couldn’t understand at such a young age.

Possible Triggers / Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of blood and harm,

☼-☪-☼

Tony handed you a bandaid. You took it from his hand and notice the cartoon picture of Iron Man on it. What a not surprised in the slightest. You peel off of the paper backing and stick it over the small wound caused by the needle. “Were done, but i want you to stay here until we can get Thor and antlers here”

you exhale deeply. After already spending the night you thought you’d be back at the girls home by now. Not that you wanted to go back, you just didn’t want to hear Nancy’s bitching once you did return “I think my caretaker might worry about me if i’m gone again”

Tony placed the tablet he was holding on the counter and looked at you “Yeah she’s a real piece of work isn’t she. You have special permission now” he says. What in the vague. You hop off the chair and feel your phone buzz in your pocket.

you stuck your hand into the dark grey sweatpants you wore. Wanda offered you clothes to sleep in so you wouldn’t be so uncomfortable. She gave you a matching slightly cropped tank and sweatpants. She was a sweetheart. Once you pull out your phone you tap the screen.

it was a text from Peter ‘Can you get away for a minute?’ you hold back the urge to smile and look up at Tony “Can i go?” you ask and he waves his hand, shooing you way “Yeah we’re good. Get some rest and make sure to hydrate. Now get out”

you roll your eyes with a half smile before walking towards the door “Bye” you say before pushing it open and heading out.

☼-☪-☼

you push open the door you were staying in and saw Peter sitting on the bed, picking at his nails. He looks up once he hears the noise and smiles upon seeing you “Hey” he says. You smile back and walk over to stand in front of him, looking down to meet his gaze “Hello”

Peter looks at you then the bed. What is he a bed? You take a seat next to him, but end up laying back to look at the ceiling “You look tired” Peter says and lays back next to you. You chuckle quietly “Yeah. I got my blood drawn, but at least it’s over with”

Peter hums in response. You notice he awkwardly folded his hands over his chest, not knowing what to do with them. You shuffle over and lay your head on his chest, feeling him instantly tense up. “Is this okay or are you going to implode?”

he shakes his head “No!-” he protests “i mean it’s okay, just uh- just stay there” he says in a more quiet tone. You stifle a bit of laughter and curl up next him, feeling a bit drowsy at this point. Peter wraps arm around your waist “Are you tired?”

“Yeah a little” you respond, closing your eyes. Peter holds onto you as he moves to the top of the bed, laying his head on a pillow “You should sleep then, i’ll wake you up if something happens” he talked in a more hushed tone now. You smile before dozing off.

“Y/n?” he says before he is interrupted by quiet snores. He smiles to himself, wishing he didn’t leave his phone in his bag so he could take a picture of you. Would that be weird? It’s not like he would made it his lockscreen. Nevermind that’s the exact reason he would take a photo.

he raised his free arm to try and web his bag to him, but once he did you started to stir slightly “Not worth it not worth it” he mumbles before kissing your head. He stays still until you stop moving before exhaling. He had never cared about another person's nap so much.

damn his arm was starting to fall asleep.

☼-☪-☼

an hour later

Wanda opened the door to your room and was slightly surprised to see Peter playing with your hair while you slept on his chest “Uh- i knocked, why didn’t you say anything?” she asked. Peter looked down at you for a moment then Wanda “I didn’t want to wake her up. I also can’t feel my arm”

she smiles brightly at the young love “Why didn't you just move her” she questions, folding her arms across her chest “I have never moved each time you fell asleep on me” Vision spoke from behind her. Wanda looks at him with a slightly shocked expression “You can move. I wouldn’t have been mad”

“That’s not the point darling. I don’t want to move” Vision replies. Wanda sighs “Will talk more about this later’ she says to him before “Tony would like to see her in the main lobby. i’m assuming he doesn’t know your here?” she says with a small grin.

Peter smiles nervously “Yeah- i snuck in. I- i- can get her up. Just give me a few minutes” he said with a pleading look. Wanda smiles, nodding and grabs Visions arm “Bye Peter” she said and walked alongside her lover, closing the door shut.

Peter sighs, not really wanting to move at this point, but knew you had to be somewhere. He starts to softly shake your shoulder “Y/n- Y/n you have to get up. Mr. Stark needs you in the lobby” you mumble something incoherent to him before rolling over onto your other side. “No”

he chuckles to himself and stretches his arm for a second “Come on- we can always sleep later” he tries to rationalize. You groan out before propping yourself up on your elbows “Fine, but i’m not going to enjoy whatever the hell is happening” you say in an attempt to be petty.

you hear Peter laugh at your response “I’ll come with you then” he suggests. You smile slightly at the thought and throw your legs over the bed. “Let’s go then” you say and let out yawn. You walk over to the side of the bed Peter was on nd slip your feet into the slippers on the floor.

Peter stands up and reaches up to fix his now bed head. You lift your hand and move a piece of hair from his face “Thank you” he says and you nod. Suddenly, he leans down and captures your lips in his, catching you a bit off guard but you weren’t complaining.

you went to pull away when one his hands was placed on the small of your back, pulling you flush against him. Well damn Peter Parker. He deepens the kiss more by placing his other hand on the nape of your neck. After a couple seconds you both pull away “What was that for?” you ask.

“I haven’t got to kiss you all day” he says with a brow raised like it was so obvious. “Oh okay” you hold back some laughter.

☼-☪-☼

you and Peter walk to the lobby. During your small walk he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and kept you close to him while he talked about how he got his powers. A radioactive spider. That seemed much more awesome then being manipulated by a god at the age of six.

“Well look at you two” you both look up too see Tony grinning at the both of you so close together. Peter’s face flushes, but he keeps his arm around you “Tony don’t tease them” Wanda comments. Peter hides his face behind your head until the redness went down.

“Nice one Spider-Boy” you comment, earning yourself a small growl under his breath, which was interesting to hear to be honest. Suddenly a yellow circle appeared in front of the glass doors. You instinctively take a step back, but Peter keeps you in place “It’s okay” he reassures.

you trust his word and stay put as the circle grew quite large. A man stepped out. He was wearing sort of medieval clothes with a maroon cape that seemed to move on its own- Dr. Strange? “Hello” he said to the room and steps to the side as....Thor the god of thunder steps through the portal, hair cut short.

at first you were slightly fangirling inside, but then it sunk in who would walk in next. In all his glory, Loki the god of mischief walks through and stands next to his brother. He was wearing an all black suit. You couldn’t tell if you wanted to throw up or run away- maybe both.

“Would anyone like to explain why we’re here?” Thor asks, shaking Tony’s hand. “I would also like to know that, considering no one here likes me” Loki adds, fixing the cuffs of his sleeves. “Yeah antlers shut it- 2012 attack. Remember talking to a little girl?”

Loki gave Tony a strange look “May i remind you all that i was under the control of Thanos and barley remember a thing. Also, what little girl? I hate children” he says with a face of slight disgust. “I might be able to help you all with that” Strange cuts in.

“Even if you don’t remember anything. Those memories are still locked away in your head. I could access them” he says, gesturing to one of his hands. Loki looks him up and down “I will not have anyone inside my head, that’s sort of my thing” he retorts.

Thor crosses his arms over his broad chest “Why is this important?” he directed his question to Tony. “Infinity Stone cleanup.” he says vaguely. Loki sighs and takes a deep breath after “Fine- make it quick and only look at what you need too.

Strange steps forward “Trust me- i don’t want to look at anything else” he reassures amd steps behind Loki. He placed his hands on either sides of Loki’s head and began to mumble a few words. In an instant it was like Loki became a projector.

his memory was played in a hologram like manner. Peter and you watch from behind so its inverted for the both of you- not like you haven’t lived through it or anything, but okay. All of you watched as Loki gave you the powers and your tiny body float up then faint.

once the memory was over Loki watched the tiny child disappear along with the memory and left standing behind the little girl was you. It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together at this point. “Why did you show me this?” Loki snapped, pushing Strange’s hands away from his head.

“Because reindeer games. You under the raisins control only gave her a tad of the Mind Stone’s power- just the teleportation and portals. You gave her some of your powers” Tony says. The room collectively gasped “I- What?” Loki replied before looking at you.

you felt your body tense a bit. Peter felt his spidey sense flare up and kept his arm tightly wrapped around you, but for so long you wanted to confront this guy. Tell him off. Wish him dead, but you had just learned it wasn’t his fault. What were you to do now?

you push away from Peter, despite his protest and confidently walked up to Loki, stopping a few feet away from him “Hey, i guess” you say, shrugging your shoulders. Loki gulps and nods at you “Hello. I uh- i apologize for what i did” he said, you can tell he was struggling to find the words.

you wave your hand “Don’t be. You can do one thing for me though” you say, a malicious grin making a way to your face. Loki narrows his eyes before answering “and that would be?” he asked. What could you possibly want from him?

“Teach me how to use it”

☼-☪-☼

a month later

“You can do better” Loki scolded as he circled around you. You were both in the training room and had been at it for three hours. You were regretting asking him to teach you how to use these damned powers. “Go again!” he exclaims and you form to blades as he charges at you.

you push yourself left and watch as Loki stumbles a bit. You use this opportunity to drop down and kick him completely off balance. Loki falls to the floor and as you went to hit him, he kicked you in the chest, knocking the wind out of you “OH you slimy prick!” you coughed.

Loki grins as he pushes himself off the floor “I’ll add it to the list of things you call me” he says before coming at you again. You stood there and waited until he was inches away before dropping to the floor and sliding across. You end up behind him and wrap your arm around his neck, holding the blade against it.

you could Loki huffs to try and catch his breath “Much better. Now we’re done for the day” he declares. You exhale and let go of him “Thank god” you say and wave your hand, the blade fading away. “I’ll clean up, you leave. I’m sure your bug boy is waiting for you” Loki rolls his eyes.

“His name is Peter and he’s scared of you” you say with narrowed eyes. His frown turns into a small grin “Good” he replies. You chuckle to yourself before walking towards the door “Bye Loki” you say before walking out the room. Time to hit the showers.

☼-☪-☼

after taking a shower, you sat down on your bed, looking out the window. You wished Loki was right about Peter waiting for you, but he had been busy all week with crime and patrolling. He was Spider-Man after all. You had just hadn’t expect to be so clingy.

it was late as much you wanted to stay up for him you decided to just get some rest. You had put on Peters midtown sweatshirt he left a couple weeks ago. It smelt like him so it’ll have to do until you could see your actual boyfriend ago- holy shit. He had never really asked you to be his girlfriend.

how come you didn’t notice that before? You were just happy to be with him that you didn’t care about the labels and such. Strange. You climb into bed and pulled the comforter over you while grabbing a pillow to hug close to your chest. It helped you fall asleep sometimes.

you plug in your phone and place it on the empty space in the bed. Closing your eyes you force yourself to drift off to sleep so tomorrow could come quicker. It was child like logic, but hey- sometimes children logic is all you need.

☼-☪-☼

a couple hours later

your eyes slowly open and your met with the sight of Peter in his suit, just outside your window. He was knocking on it and looking around outside. Not creepy at all. You get up out of bed, using one hand to rub your eyes while the other undid the latch of the window.

“Hey. Sorry for waking you” he says, climbing into the room and taking off his mask. You walk back to your bed and pick up your phone “Peter it’s two in the morning. Isn’t May going to worry where you are?” you question. YOu turn around just as his suit faded into the spider symbol.

Peter shakes his head and places the symbol down on the dresser “No. She knows i’m staying here tonight” he says. You narrow your eyes, walking over to him “You didn’t tell me you were staying over. I haven’t gotten any time with you this week” you say with a small pout.

he smiles and grabs your hands “That’s why i’m here- is that my sweatshirt?” he asked, looking down at the blue piece of clothing. You shrug “Maybe” he shakes his head “You look really good in it Might have to let you keep it” he says and leans down to give you a kiss, but you turn your head away.

“I wasn’t planning on giving it back to you bug boy” you tease. Damn- you gotta stop hanging out with Loki for awhile. Peter’s face drops “I’m ignoring the bug comment for now. You rejected my kiss. I haven’t kissed you all week Y/n” his tone was whiney and made you want to laugh.

“I’m sorry” you say trying to hold back laughter. Peter smiles and finally plants his lips on yours, It was like every other kiss, sweet. Until Peter did his whole hand on the back of your neck thing to pull you in for deeper kiss. You reach up to wrap your arms loosely around his neck.

Peter lifts you off the ground and places you on the bed, breaking the kiss “Hm. I missed that” he whispers and leans his forehead against yours. You smile, looking up at him. You arms fall as you let out a yawn “and i missed my human pillow, now get under the covers”

“Yes ma’am” he replies with a quiet laugh and lays on his back. You lay your head on his chest and tangle your legs with his. Peter pulls the blanket over the both of you “Night Y/n” he says and kisses your head sweetly before closing his eyes. You smile and close yours as well.

“Goodnight Peter”

☼-☪-☼

Click here to join my Taglist

☼-☪-☼

Kody: shitty end, but hey i thought it was decent. Request be open btw. Anyways, peace.

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starrybumbles · 4 years

Text

Not Her, Too

One-Shot

Natasha x Reader

Summary: They say time heals all wounds, but never how much it would hurt once they reopen.

Word Count: 1342

ENDGAME SPOILERS if you still haven’t seen it!

It was dark- cold- and you didn’t know how to chase it away. Or maybe you just didn’t want to. The pain had long since passed since the battle in Wakanda. Now you just felt numb. A feeling resided in your chest, one much like how the Avengers’ facility felt: empty. Within the weeks of the snap, everything crumbled. The remaining Avengers gathered as fast as they could. But everyone was in too big of a shock to do anything those first few days.

You all had lost so much in just a snap of a finger.

A warm and fat tear slid down your face. Your shoulders shook as you stared outside. Bucky and Sam were gone. Wanda was gone, as was T’challa. So many people were gone. Even the ones who did survive ended up going their separate ways. Tony took off to an isolated cabin with Pepper. He only contacted you every once and awhile. Bruce had long since gone. Calls with him were rare. Thor retreated back to Asgard, not even bothering to keep in contact no matter how much you tried. Steve visited every now and then. You didn’t have a clue as to where Clint’s murderous rampage was going next.

Ash still filled the air. You wondered if it would ever clear up. It was hard to think about who was being carried by the winds today. So you didn’t.

It’s just been a long five years. Nothing got better.

You sniffled, looking down at your hands. They were intertwined, resting on the little blanket that covered your lap. The tears coming out were willed to stop, and it took a little bit more effort before they actually did. You slowly sunk into the couch. This seemed to be your only comfort. As if by doing this, you could block out everything else. But it nothing ever worked the way you wanted it to.

A gentle hand patted your shoulder. The shield you put up immediately cracked. Your vision blurred. Always so gentle.. always so kind. It was what you needed but didn’t want. If it were up to you, you’d let yourself wallow away. But not her- never would she allow you to do that, even when she pushed herself until exhaustion.

“Brought you lunch.”

“’m not hungry,” you mumbled.

“You’ve got to eat something today. You know what we talked about.”

The hand gripped your shoulder, but remained soft. Your jaw clenched. Sure, you’ve spoken about it. Some days you were fine. Other days-- like today -- you just weren’t feeling right. Eating just didn’t sound good. She would just have to deal with it.

“It’s not healthy, Y/n.”

“Neither is eating peanut butter sandwiches everyday, but hey, you’re still doing it.”

A sigh left Natasha’s lips and for a moment, you thought that maybe she’d given up. The woman crept into your vision and crouched in front of you. In her hands was a bag that most likely contained your meal. Bags hung under her eyes. Her red hair was gathered in a messy ponytail, blonde hanging at the end. Despite all of that, she still looked as stunning as ever. The corner of her lips twitched. You tried to return it.

“Unfortunately, I ran out of bread and the store ran out... so I thought of buying some pre-made food.” When you didn’t respond, she continued. “I know you’re still hurting. But I need you to pull through for me. Please?”

Your eyes locked with her’s. As you did, more tears gathered and fell. You nodded, fearing that if you spoke you would completely break. With her help, you stood from the couch. The blanket fell off you, but you caught it before it hit the floor. You were going to try. If not for you, for your best friend.

For Natasha.

The next few weeks were brief. But ever so slowly, you began to feel again. It began with that day she brought the food. Both of you sat on the couch, facing each other. She had said something ridiculous that made you laugh. It was something along the lines of,

‘Why do seagulls fly over sea?’

For the life of you, you can’t remember the punchline. But you do remember how stale she sounded as she said it. You laughed, not at the joke but at the redhead. You remember how it made you feel. How she made you feel; like you were floating. She smiled, and you smiled back.

You kissed her a few weeks after.

“I love you, Nat.” You whispered.

She was leaning against the kitchen counter, one hand on her hip. Her hair was braided into two sections and God, did she look beautiful. She always did, no matter if she had a rat’s nest on her head. Her eyes were wide, but a smile was playing on the edge of her lips.

“I love you, too.” With that, she captured your lips in your’s again.

The days that followed had given you more joy than you had in the last year. You and Natasha became even more inseparable. Sometimes Steve was there. Mostly it was just the two of you in the building. Sharing secrets, doing whatever it took in order to keep yourselves busy. Which wasn’t hard when it came to Nat. This woman was never boring-- not in the slightest. Daylight had you both roaming around the grounds. Nights had you both curled up in bed, sharing stories about each other.

She made the pain lessen. Instead of thinking about the past, you started to look forward in hope for something better. Like what Nat had given you. You started to see what could be done-- how to make things even a little better. Not only did you start to help Natasha and her quest to home the kids who didn’t have anybody. Together, you embraced the painful memories of your friends and allies. And it was okay to let this pain go. Let your wounds finally heal.

And then you lost her, too.

―

You should’ve known something was going to go wrong the moment it seemed you all had a chance. In actuality, it’s an idea to good to be true. But you were so blinded by hope of getting your family back. Your mind wasn’t on the consequences... they weren’t even considered.

She had given you such a big smile, and any doubts simply melted away.

“See you in a minute.”

It was a take and go situation. There wasn’t supposed to be any delays, nothing. So when you came back your eyes immediately swept the crowd for your love. Instead you found Clint Barton, kneeling down with his hands clenched. You were the first to speak.

“Where’s Nat?”

The room grew silent. You repeated the question, more intensely than before. Your heart sunk into your stomach. Clint’s crestfallen face gave you your answer. But that couldn’t be it, right? There’s no way Natasha can be..

You stopped yourself from finishing that thought. Tears sprung into your eyes. Cold, strong arms wrapped around you as your legs gave way. You clutched onto it for dear life as a sob wracked through your chest. The man in front of you started to cry as well.

“I’m sorry, Y/n.. I’m so sorry. I couldn’t-- I couldn’t stop her.” He crawled towards you. His eyes were puffy and red. “It was supposed to be me.”

For a second, you felt bad for thinking that it should have been him. It should be Natasha breathing. It’s a selfish thought; you weren’t the only one to lose her. Everyone standing in this room loved her. It wasn’t just you who reveled in her presence. She left a piece of her in every single person.

None of you would ever see her again and it was thanks to Thanos. The image of that big-headed purple bitch set a searing heat in your stomach that greatly outweighed the pain. You wanted his head in your hands.

Whatever it takes.

#avengers #endgame #avengers x you #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #avengers x reader #slight #steve x reader #clint x reader

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i-have-a-wonky-eye-too · 4 years

Text

I’ll keep you safe... 9/?

<Part 8<

"Excuse me," Steve watched Bucky as he excused himself from the room to answer his cell, leaving Steve to continue the meeting with his friend.

"Rogers?" Tony raised his eyebrow questioningly as he noticed Steve lose focus. "Everything okay?"

Steve nodded, "Yeah, fine," He cleared his throat. "You were saying."

"Right," Tony nodded, "My men don't seem to be able to get anything on Thanos. Rumlow, he's a little bitch who likes to flaunt his business,"

Steve nodded, "I'm all too familiar with his games, Tony. Although, this last week he seems to have gone quiet. I'm afraid he might be planning something," Steve let out a frustrated sigh. "Look, Tony, what I'm asking is a big favour and I know, over the last couple of years we've been a bit rocky-"

"Look, kid, what we do, it's expected of us to have fall-outs, the main thing is we stick together when it comes to assholes like Rumlow and even bigger fucks, like Thanos." Tony grinned, "Although, you don't help matters by dicking his daughter." Tony teased.

"She's not his daughter!" Steve snapped.

Tony chuckled, "So, you are, dicking her?"

Steve let out a big sigh as he shook his, then chuckled as he looked up to his friend. "I'm not, sleeping with her, Tony."

"But, you want to."

"I don't... Just want to have sex, with her, Tony. I-" Steve sighed as he leaned forwards onto his desk and dropped his head into his hands, "She's, nice... You know. Even though she's been involved in this hell of a life, because of him... she's... She's different. She needs saving too and, I don't usually get the chance to do that and, she makes me want to do that... To keep her-"

"Steve!" Bucky called out before he threw the door open. "Rumlow took Y/N!" ---------- "Y/N?!"

You let out a heavy sigh, relieved to finally hear Steve's voice as he stormed through the house to where you were. "Steve," You cried and threw yourself into his arms as soon as you could.

"Shh," Steve held your trembling body in his arms, his hand cradling the back of your head as you cried into his neck. "Shh, I've got you, baby girl." He pressed a hard comforting kiss to your forehead.

"He- He was taking me, t-to..." You pulled back from him with panic in your eyes as your fists screwed up the material of his jacket, "I was going back to, Thanos."

Steve shook his head, cupping your face in his hands, "That's never going to happen, okay? Never."

You shook your head, "It nearly did. I thought, I thought I'd never see you again-"

"Shh," Steve pulled you back into his arms, holding you as close as he could. "I promised you, Y/N, that I'd keep you safe, and I will."

You nodded, sobbing into his shoulder as Steve soothingly rub his hand up and down your back. You felt safe.

"Steve?" You jumped at the sound of an unfamiliar voice behind you. "Sorry, Miss," The older man smiled politely as he stepped into the room, "Didn't mean to scare you."

"Y/N, this is Tony, a friend of mine," Steve smiled softly at you as placed his hand on the small of your back.

You nodded, "Hello,"

"It's nice to meet you," Tony smiled before turning back to Steve, "One of my... Hmm, men, says he knows where Rumlow is, right now..." Tony looked at his phone, "He's seen this guy a few times, too, going through Queens."

Steve nodded with a deep sigh, "I think it's time I spoke to Rumlow."

"Together, buddy," Tony reached out and clapped his hand over his shoulder, "He can't take both on at once." Tony smirked. The way he looked had a dangerous hint but it made you feel safe.

"Steve... Are you, are you going to kill, him?"

Steve shook his head, "Unfortunately doll, I do need to speak to him. Find out what game he's playing."

"Then, you'll kill him?" You smiled at him, "I'd like to be there when you end that bastards life."

Tony's head fell back as he laughed loudly, almost tipping himself over. "Wow! She certainly is something else, Rogers. I see why you're smitten with her." He chuckled, walking out the room as you and Steve both blushed and avoided looking at one another.

"I, hmm, I'll send Bucky to go, hmm, to collect Nat and bring her here. I don't want you being alone whilst I deal with this, okay?" You nodded with a soft hum, "Okay. I might be a while, but when I'm back, the two of us will get take-out and talk, if you want, okay?"

You nodded once more, "Sounds good, Steve." You smiled at him.

He nodded, smiling briefly before he let out a heavy sigh, "BUCK!"

----------

"What do you mean, you don't cook?" You giggled softly as you watched Nat try to stir the tomato sauce without splashing her dress even though she had an apron on for that purpose.

She shrugged before taking a large gulp of her wine. "I never need to."

You frowned down at the pasta you were making, "What do you do for food, then?" You asked glancing up.

"I eat take-out or at restaurants." She tutted as a bit of tomato sauce spat up and got her.

You giggled, "How the fuck are you so thin?"

She let out a snort, "All the sex, baby."

The two of you burst out laughing, passing silly comments back and forth as you continued to cook and drink the last of the bottle of wine.

"Mmm, something smells good in 'ere." Bucky walked into the kitchen, followed by Sam, and shortly after Steve walked in with a large smile on his face.

"What's going on?" Steve asked as he walked up to Natasha and bent over to inhale the scent of the tomatoes.

"I thought I'd cook for you guys. My way of thanking you all, especially Sam for today." You smiled thankfully at him.

A light blush tinted his cheeks as he looked away, heading over to the fridge. "Don't worry about it." He mumbled.

You let out a soft chuckle before looking properly at the three men. "I take it, it didn't go so smoothly talking to Rumlow?" You raised your eyebrow at Steve.

Steve looked down at the blood on his dress shirt that wasn't his. "Erm, there was some, resistance at first but-" Steve shrugged his shoulders, "Don't worry about it, doll, it's all good." He smiled.

You nodded, "Mm, if you say so." You shook your head with a soft sigh. "Dinner is still gonna be a while, plenty of time for the three of you to freshen up."

"Nah, we're good like this, sweetheart." Steve smiled and went to kiss your cheek but you put your hand up so he kissed that instead.

"I don't think so, Al Capone. No bloodstains at the table." You giggled, moving round Steve over to the stove so you could start putting the lasagne together.

Natasha burst out laughing at Steve as the boys tried their best not to. "Yes, ma'am," He smiled. "C'mon you two, you heard the lady."

Natasha shook her head with a smile. "Well, that is something."

"What is?"

"Steve Rogers doing as he's told." She grabbed another bottle of wine, "That is cause for a drink." She grinned making you laugh.

#Mobster Steve Rogers x reader #Mob boss Steve Rogers x reader #Steve Rogers x reader smut #Steve Rogers smut #au Steve Rogers x reader #Mob boss Steve Rogers

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liathgray · 3 years

Note

yes hi its me 💜💜💜 writnon 💜💜💜 which is still the cutest nickname and im glad you gave it to mee akdhsgsh

im never gonna say no if you ask if i want an example i love you and trust you and admire you So Much pls lemme see the Illegal Planning Spreadsheet

also a bitch is nonbinary (agender or voidgender but im still ??? about which cuz 🌟 voidgender 🌟 but also 🎊 agender 🎊 yknow???? i think voi/void pronouns are The Shit which honestly makes me feel like im leaning towards voidgender but who knows ill figure it out eventually qkdhdgk) anyway the point is im currently going by they/them pronouns if you dont mind!!!

p sure thats everything i wanted to say? im still: chugging along with that spreadsheet outline but its really helped me keep track of everything yhat goes everywhere!!! 🤩🤩🤩 so thats good

as always theres no pressure to qmswer i hope youre doing well oMG i just remembered: i got accepted into the uni i applied to!!!! so ill hopefully be transferring there in the fall if all goes well 😃😃😃😃

qldjdhsk alright Now i think its everything akdhdjdld

stay safe i love you

- writing anon

ik i said voi/void but also like(its writnon again hi),,,,,, the idea of being referred to as galaxyself or starself is making me *vibrates at a speed unknown to man* wish there was a non clunky way to use black holes as a neopronoun but its chill ig

no one:

not anyone:

not a single person:

me: ik im writnon but im gonna be So Goddamn Nonbinary in ceces inbox today akdbdbdk

(its writnon again sorry) but then again pronouns arent indicative of gender identity and i am p comfy in the agender, yknow? its nice every time i say it to myself any and all dysphoria gets thanos snapped, i think i just think void pronouns are v v pretty like galaxy pronouns are,,,, like bruh,,,, imagine being referred to as a galaxy like,,,, multitudes??? bro i contain a universe inside me how about that nebulas, black holes, stars thatre born and grow and die only to be pulled back together like arent we all made of stardust??? the iron in my veins is the same iron that burns in the heart of stars and holds them together like its so pretty and powerful

akdhsks sorry its just someone asked me during class yesterday about my pronouns (i have them set to they/them on the website i use for college) qnd they wanted to know if they were using my preferred name i 🥺🥺🥺🥺 im still on the gender high yknow????? -writnon

LMAO dude its chill I’m also mega superhell nb so I don’t mind the rambles!

So.. okay should I go with they/void? I mean I’m probably not gonna be referring to y'all too often with pronouns BUT you did give me a lot go options! I just wanna be sure on which are chill to use!

Sidebar wow I... don’t think I’ve ever really viewed it like that. I’m glad you’re able to find some part of yourself in this idea of galaxies and something universal.. something with multitudes.... something thats still in and a part of you. That’s just. I’ve never framed it like that to myself before! And I just love that for you sm! It makes me so happy and excited to see the ways people connect with gender cause its so abstract and personal... wow..

Also I TOTALLY get the Gender Euphoria!! Like, okay recently I decided fuck it im bored and wanna take a class. First day the TA asked for names and pronouns and everyone has been using they/them for me since!! hearing people say it out loud really just Hits Different and im not out to ppl I see irl so... I maybe had to turn off my cam and cry lmao.

gender euphoria pt 2 electric boogaloo: I got my first binder recently!!! I put it on and Oh My God the?? the FEELING??? I was smiling so hard all day and jumping around cause I didn't know this is what being in your own body was supposed to feel like!!!! aaannddd now im rambling too lmao

tl;dr: I love that for u and 100000% get the gender high MWAH

#oh no is this... a long post?#nah its fine #its so cool that people get to experiment more with gender and what it means to them #very cool very sexy #anon #I need a tag for asks so bam #writing anon

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spacedoutwrites · 4 years

Text

the tulip field

During Far From Home, Peter calls Happy for help in the Netherlands, but Happy isn't the one who shows up. Peter finds out that Tony didn't die when he snapped after all. Or maybe that's just what Beck wants him to think.

Read on AO3

Peter stumbled out of the police station. His ears were buzzing with Dutch he definitely couldn’t understand. He didn’t even know where he was. He just hoped Beck wouldn’t find him.

He struggled into the football jersey those guys had given him, trying not to let his guard down as he did it.

Everything hurt. He really knew what people meant when they said it felt like they got hit by a truck. A train was probably worse, right?

His head throbbed. The sunlight felt completely blinding. The noise of people in the street, deafening.

He crossed over to a farmer who seemed nice. “Excuse me, sir? Can I borrow your phone?”

─────

Peter heard the quinjet approaching before he saw it. It made him jump at first, it could have been Beck for all he knew.

He limped out to the tulip field the jet landed in, praying that it was actually Happy inside. When the ramp came down, someone who was most definitely not Happy walked down it. Peter froze halfway through the field.

It was Tony. Or, it looked like Tony. Peter felt like he was going to cry. He didn’t have the energy to face Beck again, not yet. He started walking again, frustration building inside of him. Why did Beck have to torture him like this? Hadn’t he already done enough?

As he slowly walked closer, he saw Tony looking at him with concern. “Peter, what happened?”

Peter only grew more frustrated, “I know it’s you, Beck, you can’t trick me like this.”

Now Beck looked confused. He was nailing Tony’s expressions so perfectly, it was throwing Peter off. His spidey senses weren’t tingling, but they never would around Tony.

“Just drop the illusion,” Peter yelled, “stop messing with my head!”

“Kid, I’m not Beck, it’s really me,” Tony said, pleading with him.

“Tony’s dead!” Peter yelled, partially to remind himself. “I saw him die.”

“Pete, I didn’t die,” Tony said, his tone sounding a little more desperate. “What can I do to make you believe it’s me?”

Peter paused.

“Tell me something only you would know,” he finally said.

Tony looked thoughtful, “When we first met, when I brought you to Germany, you tried to get out of it by telling me you had homework.”

Peter stared at him, starting to wonder if it really could be Tony.

He shook his head, “it can’t be Tony, I know it can’t.” His resolve was cracking, “You died,” he said, “I saw you die. I went to your funeral.” Saying it out loud felt like a stab to the chest. It couldn’t be him, it couldn’t.

Tony took a step forward, but Peter took a step back, still unwilling to believe it really could be Iron Man himself, back in the flesh. The man looked so hurt by Peter’s doubt, that he almost regretted stepping back, but he just couldn’t risk it being Beck, no matter how badly he wanted Tony back. It was like a dream and a nightmare wrapped up in one. All he wanted was for Tony to still be alive, but the tease, seeing him but being unable to trust that he was really there, was torture.

“Kid…” Tony started. “It was Strange,” he finally said. “When he took me off the battlefield, he brought me to the Sanctum. I don’t know exactly what he did, but it worked, I’m here.”

Peter felt tears stinging in his eyes. He hated it, hated that he was this gullible, that he was starting to really think it was Tony, but it seemed so much like him.

“Why did we have a funeral if you weren’t dead? Doctor Strange was there. Why wouldn’t he tell us that you were alive?”

Tony shrugged, “he still didn’t know if I was going to make it. He hadn’t even told anyone what he was doing yet, he just let you all think I was dead.”

Peter still couldn’t comprehend what was happening. His head was swimming, he had to have a concussion. “Who knows you’re alive?”

“Pepper, Morgan, Happy, Rhodey, now you. That’s it.”

“I still don’t know if I can trust you,” Peter said softly. He felt like he was being torn apart. He so badly wanted it—needed it to be Tony, but he felt like he couldn’t even trust himself anymore. “I don’t know what to do.”

Tony looked hesitant. “I can show you something… something that Beck has no way of knowing about.”

Peter’s eyebrows scrunched together, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Tony looked uncomfortable, an expression Peter never thought he would see on the man. “When Strange saved my life, he fixed me up pretty good, but he couldn’t fix everything.” Tony pushed the right sleeve of his sweatshirt up to reveal an arm made of titanium, not flesh. “I haven’t quite figured out this whole prosthetic thing out yet, but—”

Before Tony could finish, Peter was hurling himself at him. He crashed into him with a wild embrace, so relieved and excited, it surprised them both.

Peter wasn’t exactly sure why that last detail was what made him realize that this was really Tony, but he was sure now, without a shadow of a doubt.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long,” Tony said, pressing a kiss to the top of Peter’s head. “I’ve missed you so much. It’s been killing me to know that you’ve still been out there thinking I was dead this whole time, but it wasn’t safe to let you know I was alive. I didn’t want to put you in any more danger.”

They pulled apart for a moment. Tony surveyed Peter’s face, taking in just how beat up it was. “Geez, kid, let’s get you cleaned up a little.”

With that, they entered the quinjet.

Peter was crying freely now. All of the pent up emotions from his fight with Beck breaking loose. Everything hurt, but Tony was back. Tony was back.It felt like he was dreaming. He had longed for this since the moment Tony died, but it had seemed impossible. As impossible as being reunited with Ben or his parents.

Peter sat on one of the jet’s upholstered seats as Tony pulled out a med kit.

“Kid, what happened to you?” Tony asked.

Peter sniffed, wiping at his nose with the back of his hand. “I… I was fighting Mysterio and… he was manipulating me. I couldn’t tell what was real. Nothing made sense. I saw your grave and Michelle dying and then I fell in front of a train-”

“A real train?” Tony interrupted.

“Yeah…” Peter replied, unsure what else he should say.

“You got hit by a train?!” Tony’s outrage was palpable. “That son of a bitch is going down.” He looked back down at Peter. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there to help you. I’m not really supposed to be here now if we’re being honest, but when have I ever done what I was supposed to do?” he smiled wryly.

Peter laughed a little. “I’m just so happy you’re alive,” he said. “I don’t think I’ve really processed it yet.”

Tony helped ease Peter out of the football jersey. “Friday, run a full body scan on Peter.”

After a moment, Friday confirmed, “Full diagnostic complete. Major injuries include a concussion, broken right fibula, cracked and broken ribs, and a deep gash along the left side of the thoracic spine.”

Tony winced at the list, “geez, kid.” He gently pulled up the back of Peter’s black t-shirt to inspect his back. “I’m going to have to stitch this one up,” he said.

Peter just nodded silently. The adrenaline from discovering that Tony was alive was quickly fading and the pain was beginning to pulse throughout his entire body.

As Tony prepared the needle and thread, Peter sighed. “I screwed up so bad, Mr. Stark. I gave Edith to Beck and now he’s going to kill all of my friends.” He groaned, resting his elbows on his knees and letting his head drop into his hands. “I really failed you.”

Tony paused. “Peter…” he started. “You could never fail me, you know that, right?”

Peter didn’t respond.

Tony abandoned the med kit and sat down in the seat across from him. “Look at me kid,” he said quietly.

Peter raised his head up, eyes red and puffy, face sticky with blood and dark with bruises.

It took effort for Tony not to jump up right then and head off to kill Beck with his bare hands. Peter looked so hurt, inside and out, that it made Tony’s anger simmer. He swallowed it back, focusing on his kid. “I really don’t care how badly you screw up, Peter. You’ll always have me to back you up. No matter what. There’s nothing you could do to make me love you any less.”

Peter just stared at him, looking a little shocked.

“I know I never talked like this before… before everything with Thanos, but spending almost six years without you just made me realize that I have to tell you what I’m thinking or you’re never going to hear it.”

A hiccup escaped Peter’s lips as he tried to keep from crying more. “I’ve been so lost without you,” he said.

Tony leaned forward to hug him again, silently expressing his apology.

When he sat up again, he looked Peter in the eyes. “Now we’re going to fix you up, and you’re going to make a plan.”

“Me?” Peter asked.

“Yes, you. As much as I want to finish this fight for you, I can’t, but I know you can do it yourself.”

Peter started to protest.

“Nope,” Tony said, holding a finger up. “You got this Spider-Man, I trust you.”

#fanfic #spiderman #peter parker #Tony stark #far from home #endgame fix #irondad #spiderson #iron man #angst #family

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trashpandaorigins · 4 years

Text

The Body Keeps the Score Ch. 21

"You said it yourself bitch, we're the Guardians of the Galaxy." Gamora is finally a part of something. But the past always follows you, eats at you and she must come to grips with her deeds as she tries to build a future. Meanwhile Rocket has never cared much for anyone or anything. Together the two of them discover they are more alike than different and try to heal themselves by befriending the other.

*Content Warnings: Mentions of child/animal abuse, trauma, character death, physical torture/pain. This chapter contains torture, medical/surgical torture/shooting/guns being shot. I want to be super sensitive to folks who might be triggered by these subjects. Please take care while reading*

Title of this fic is taken from the book of the same title "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma," by Bessel van der Kolk

There's a joke here somewhere and it's on me

I'll shake this world off my shoulders

Come on..., this laugh's on me

You can't start a fire

You can't start a fire without a spark

This gun's for hire

Even if we're just dancin' in the dark

Dancing in the Dark - Bruce Springsteen

“Peter. Get Drax and Groot...get them back to the ship. Now.” Gamora breathed through clenched teeth. Rocket barely heard her, eyes fixed on Groot who whined and scurried back to Quill. The mechanical thing in his heart hammered away, making his chest cinch with pain. His muscles tensed, claws tight against the trigger of Quill’s blaster.

“Gamora,” Quill pleaded, “I’m not leaving you here with these….these,” he turned to the Halfworlder’s, “what exactly are you? Because I picture you like mad scientists but you’re also clearly aliens so….mad scientist aliens?”

“Peter!” Gamora’s eyes stared unbroken at the two figures in the doorway. “Get them back to the ship, NOW!”

Rocket glanced down at Drax, still clutching his side and moaning on the floor.

“Do you trust me?” She hissed, the human man swallowed.

“I could kiss you right now.”

“Not now Peter! GO!”

The man nodded, moving over to Drax and helping the man off his feet. Groot hauled himself up on Quill’s jacket, looking over his shoulder at Rocket. The raccoonoid held his breath, watching the little flora’s eyes wide with confusion.

“Rocket…” Quill turned to him, mouth open trying to find the right words.

“Get out of here!” The raccoonoid sighed, reaching for the gun, and tossed it to him with a heavy hand.

The man caught it. “Go!”

“What about you?!”

“Yah heard Gams, get outta here! Take Groot and go!”

For once in his life, StarDork listened to him.

“I’ll see you later.”

He watched Quill take one last look at Gamora and moved quickly past the Halfworlder’s, daring them to make any move in protest.

“We aren’t here for them,” the female reprimanded her colleague, the male, who leered towards Quill as he snuck past. “You heard her orders. We are to get Subject 89P13 only.”

Something wet and warm trickled down the raccoonoid’s leg. If he’d been anywhere else, he’d be ashamed. But this place….it stripped all shame all confidence of you. Revealing only your deepest fears and insecurities to the point where you no longer cared about your dignity. Only your survival. The two, Rocket had learned long ago...were easily severed.

The female alien grinned, turning back to him, Gamora and Nebula.

“You really thought you escaped, didn’t you?” They rushed forward, revealing those all too familiar electric prongs.

Rocket panicked, scrambling for anything in sight.

“Quick try this!”

The ringtail swiped the device that the Halfworlder’s gave Gamora from her belt.

“Rocket no! Don’t!”

He charged ahead, pressing the center button on the device, aiming at their chests.

He dropped the device instantly. His back arching, scalding pain alit his small nervous system, sending off pain receptors everywhere, snapping and popping. He swallowed the animalistic whimper building in his throat, curling himself in a ball. His hair stood on end, white electricity snapping and crackling. Every hard stood on end even as he fell to the ground, body twitching.

Gamora ran forward, sword out, beating them back as best she could.

“Nebula get him….aaarrrghhhh!!!!”

The raccoonoid blinked slowly. Through his blurry vision he could barely make out the male alien, sticking one of the pokers in Gamora’s side, taking advantage of her momentary distraction. She crumpled beside him, her own cybernetics in her face glowing and sparking. If he hadn’t been in so much pain...and so furious...he may have felt a twinge of sympathy. Maybe.

“H...how...l..long have y...you b...ben holding on to ...t..th...that?” He panted through the burning in his belly.

Gamora twisted her neck around, glaring daggers at him from under a messy tangle of her hair.

“About as long as you were spying on me.”

Rocket snarled, teeth bared a nasty reply formed but never delivered. Rough hands grabbed him by the scruff, jerking him up with an agonizing pinch in the back of his neck.

“What are you going to do with them?” Nebula’s rough voice cut through the sound static sparking through the bolts in his back.

Rocket tried to swipe back at them, legs and tail thrashing madly, every move met with flaring stinging agony.

“That is no concern of yours.”

Nebula’s gaze found him, Rocket struggled to keep his eyes open.

“It’s a pity,” the alien woman holding him continued. “Thanos never sold us any of his projects. Even a defective one.” She ran her oily eyes over Nebula with a dehumanizing appraisal Rocket knew all too well. Nebula winced. The alien woman turned back to him, tightening her grip on his fur. “But alas, vermin were free and expendable, so vermin is what we worked with. Luckily Terra had vermin to spare.”

Someone grunted, Rocket clenched his teeth, twisting to see Gamora drag herself up once more, clutching her side. The cybernetics in her face glowing with electricity. She tensed, adjusting her grip on her sword and moving forward. Nebula grabbed her shoulders, steadying her, whispering something he could not hear.

“Come, she will be waiting for him.”

This time, he could not stifle the whimper coming from his throat.

---

“P….please,” he tried, vision swimming.

Where the flark are we?

His mind was sluggish, limbs and tail heavy. He’d been stripped down. Someone was inserting tubes into his back, his ears twitched at the click as it locked into place. Arms hung suspended, head low.

This isn’t a lab...a ship? No. We’re not on a ship. Where’s my fucking gun? Where’s...Gamora? Groot? GROOT?

Rocket tried to struggle, only to stumble and sag with the weight of the tubes fixated to his back and into the front of the bolts of the cybernetics in his clavicle. Thick fluid syrupy and cold made its way from the machine and into his body. He could feel it moving through him, doing who knew what. For all his genius and awareness, for all his sentience, they’d made sure he knew very little about his own making. Rocket, who knew every type of gun on every planet, who could replicate a resecian bomb and could pilot even the most ancient of Esselian crafts….knew nothing of his own biology.

“Please,” he whispered the shadow of the alien Halfworld woman falling over him. She crouched down to him, slit pupiled eyes staring into him.

“Please...d...don’t take me apart again. I...d..don’t want to be put back together.” The very thought of enduring that again made his body tremble, tubes and wires rattling with his movement. They pulled on him, tearing his skin.

“Oh you won’t be,” she smirked, revealing yellow fangs. “Not this time.” The raccoonoid’s belly sunk with icy dread.

No….stop it… claw her eyes out! Too tired….can’t move freely...what are they putting inside me? Whymy….dizzy?

“Your creator has no interest in her failed experiment.”

Failed.

Failed Gamora

Failed Groot

Failed the new version of Groot

Hurt Gamora

Betrayed Gamora

Hurt Groot

Failed

He couldn’t make the words right, thoughts came slow and jumbled and when they did come to him...he couldn’t...couldn’t make his mouth move to form the words.

“F...faile...faild?”

Through blurry vision, he could see the Halfworlder nod.

“You are a cruel and tempestuous wretch. Your existence to an affront to all who breathe. You were given life by the hands of your creator because she wanted to make something beautiful.” The alien continued, words reaching his ears in slow motion. Rocket swayed, closing his eyes. The chemicals coming through those tubes...they were putting things into his blood, but somehow….sucking him dry of any awareness. His mind tried to go through the rolodex of toxins, poisons but couldn’t name any.

A monster….

A monster who betrays their friends

A monster who hit Groot

He tried to flex his paws but the movement was clumsy.

“We will be getting on our way soon enough. By the time we get back your cerebral deprograming will be complete and hopefully she will be able to harvest what’s left.”

What’s left?

GET A GUN YOU IDIOT! FIGHT, CLAW THIS BITCH TO PIECES! TEAR THESE FUCKING TUBES! RUN! RUN! RUN!

Rocket tried to move, to swipe weakly at the woman before him. She only smirked, standing. Eyes looking over his vulnerable twitching form for a moment, making him want to claw her insides out. But his chest only sunk with an invisible weight. She sniffed, and departed. His eyes closed to black before she left the room.

Gamora...she was asleep during her enhancements...no. Not asleep. Gone. Gone during her enhancements and brought back after. Where did she go? Where was he going? His brain liquidating in his skull, his body pumped with unknown substances.

How did Gamora do it?

How did she stand it? What did she cling to when she was falling away?

Failed.

A failed subject. A failed friend.

Rocket hung suspended from the wires and tubes that created and would now destroy him. The worst thing was….he didn’t mind. The ringtail smiled to himself, letting his eyes close again. Chemicals rushing through him in a tumult of nausea and spinning. The dark behind his eyes was different from that of sleep...somehow even that blackness was unnatural.

It’s better...like this. ...G...Gamora will...what are they doing to me? Gamora will...get the others back to the….to the...the thing that will let them get away. RUN! CLAW! TEAR! TEAR OUT THESE THINGS AND GO! She’ll get em to safety...Why’d you come here? Didn’t I escape Halfworld? No. Never left. Groot...Groot where’s Groot? Did I….GET OUT!

Rocket’s mind drifted from one fractured thought to another

Earthen smells…other smells. Gamora….repairing her arm.

Her words.

What did she say?

GET OUT OF HERE! KICK, CLAW, SCREAM! SHOOT! SHOOT THE GUN!

He was drowning….drowning from the inside out. The buzzing and clicking around the room now sounded funny. His tongue tasted salty in his mouth,

Flecks of wood chips from the blast on Xandar.

Groot. Dead.

His own claws tearing through wood...scratching the new Baby Groot.

“Cerebral deprogramming 55% complete.” Voices...far away...like they were muffled underwater.

Rocket clenched his fists, trying to concentrate on the reality of his surroundings. Claws digging into the sensitive pads of his paws. He sniffed, trying to recall what was around him. Chemicals, metal, blood.

GET A G….

What was that word?

The thing that fired bullets that stopped people in their tracks.

The woman with the green skin. The woman he hurt. The tree creature, small and crying for him. Him. What was him? A cruel tempestuous creature.

He tried to move, but only flung his head backward in a coordinated effort. Sending more shocks of anguish through his own skeleton.

I’m sorry…..

I’m sorry….

I never shoulda….

IThing went too far…

I’m sorry…

I’m….

I’m…

I…..I...I...

You, you, you…

You ...the tree thing….you, the green woman

The green woman who hurt as much as he did.

G...m...Gmora

S...ry...Gaamo..r...a

Friend.

Rocket’s mind lost words….vision long since having gone black. He was slipping. Falling… dimly aware of the throbbing in his neck and throughout his cybernetics. He went stiff, straining against whatever the aliens had injected into him. But that battle was lost the moment they’d hooked him to the tubes. Still the raccoonoid went rigid against it. Until he couldn’t. All that bravado and zeal for nothing.

“Deprograming is at 63%.”

“Good. Come, we’ll prepare the ship to leave. By the time we get back it’ll be done.”

“Hang on, these outputs are outrageous! It actually bonded with Subject FC616! Oh look it’s crying! You gotta see these images! 89P13 certainly tried to make a life for itself.”

“Good. She’ll want to see it all upon our return.”

“Regret...sorrow...grief...joy...music…? It makes no sense.”

“It was responding to stimulus from the outside environment. It’s programming filled in the gaps for what it believed it should “feel.” It was designed to do that.”

“Huh. Alright, let’s go.”

The doors slid closed, Rocket’s consciousness ebbed. Sinking away. So heavy.

Gmra...Grot…

---

“Rocket!”

Something warm and rough cupped around him...around his...shoulders?

The ringtail fought back the darkness as soon as he became aware of it. Being dragged up from wherever he’d been. An endless void of black nothing.

A voice.

He blinked, slowly, colors of green and pink?

“Rocket look at me,” the thing before him spoke fast. “I know you're scared, I know you’re in pain. I know how that feels. You know I do.”

Focus….

Can’t….tired...

FOCUS!

“I know this is the most horrifying place in the galaxy for you.” Rocket swayed from side to side, trying to rock himself awake. But the dark void place he’d been beckoned. Pulled at him. So nice, so blank...so devoid of everything.

“I know you’re scared. I’m scared too. That’s why we need to get out of here but I need your gun. Where is it? Can you point?”

Rocket gestured vaguely. The woman...he could tell it was a woman now. But who? She looked in the direction he indicated. Only to return her gaze to him, her eyes. Her eyes were somehow soft and hard at the same time.

….Gmmmm….m...or...ra?

Ga..mora?

Gamora?!

“Rocket….I need you to tell me where they put your gun.”

“...G...mora?”

His chest tingled, his limbs and tail still lead weight. He could barely move. Trying to clear his head of the dense fog inside his skull.

She shook him, his cybernetics fizzing painfully. The fire in his nerves jolted at him.

“Ga...Gamora?!”

“Yes! Good! Now, where is your gun?!”

Something behind her crashed. Screamed.

The ringtail roved his eyes over the room, to the right, then the left. Counters, buttons, monitors.

“Rocket!” She hissed urgently. “Look at me! Do you trust me?”

Rocket blinked in momentary recognition, then nodded.

Gamora leapt upward, grunting as she collided with the figure who’d barged into the room. He watched them wrestle, each grappling for the other. The green woman’s sword came down, again and again, trying to strike, stumbling back, striking again. She twisted, running the butt of her sword into the other woman’s head. The Halfworlder grunted, curling into a ball. Gamora ran forward, yanking the wires and tubes from him. They released with an agonizing twist, the liquid chemicals leaking out clear and congealing. Rocket’s legs flooded, tail trying to find balance but failed.

“Where’s your gun?!”

“G...gun?”

A second figure tore into the room, this one larger. The rushed for Gamora who lifted her sword just in time to fend him off. They sprung apart and she grabbed a handful of tubing in her fists, swinging it towards him. He cursed, stumbling back,wiping the liquid from his face.

Rocket let out an involuntary squeak, the alien woman regained her footing now aimed at him, clawed hands ready to seize him. He tried to spring out of the way, but his body wouldn’t follow direction and he flopped to the ground, only to be caught up in her iron grip. He kicked, clawing.

“Rocket!”

He turned, Gamora backed away from the alien man, eyes searching for anything she could use as a weapon.

“Th...there!” Rocket managed to nod towards where he spotted his jumpsuit any other items, tucked away by one of the monitors. Gamora crouched just before the Halfoworlder punched. She slid on the ground running to the counter, madly rifling through his belongings.

“How does this work?” She screamed, letting out a cry of anger and lifting her blade over her head with her spare arm, she brought it down on the male Halfworlder. He screeched, stumbling back clutching his arm.

“Sh...shoot...e..em w...with the...not handle part!”

“I know that much!”

The alien who held him tightened her grip, Rocket’s vision spun. His mind and body had not fully returned to him.

“You insufferable animal!”

Claws dug into his back, around the tender skin grafted around his cybernetic paneling. Digging into his flesh and yanking at him. The wiring beneath the skin pulled at the veins and tissue

“Rocket hold still!”

Gamora shouted, holding the gun with ready arms, she peered through the scope, trying to get the accurate aim.

“Gamora!”

The male alien lunged for her, knife out and ready to tear the gun from her hands. She turned, instantly and shot.

Rocket watched with wide eyed shock as the alien’s head jerked back and his body collapsed, twitching and went still.

The sharp tear in his skin, raw and stinging brought him back to the face of the Halfworld alien. She sneered, tugging at the panel in his back. The ringtail panicked, this time his body obeyed, more or less. He lashed out with his claws, ears pinned to his skull, mouth foamed with blood and saliva. He buckled and wriggled, ignoring the fiery shock ravaging through his body.

“Hold still!”

“C...can’t!”

Rocket strained to shout, throat rasping.

The alien pulled again, this time eliciting the ringtail to vomit in pain. He pinched his eyes shut against the wrenching in his spine as she tugged at the panel again.

No...no...no...no!

BAM!

Rocket dropped to the floor with a hard thunk, his insides quivering with the impact. His tail twitched, electricity around the panel in his back fritzed out. He reached one arm up slowly, trying to message the area around the damaged panel.

Gamora stormed ahead, past him, to where the alien woman crouched, one hand to her shoulder. Black blood bubbled up from the surface of her wound.

“L….Lady...G...Gamora, pl..please. W...we can compensate you for it. How much...d..do you want? Units? Esken gold?”

Rocket tried to heave himself up, swallowing the blood in his mouth. His whole body ached. Vision still blurred around the edges. He faded in and out of awareness, recurring shocks of stinging pain waved over him every few seconds, bringing him back to consciousness.

Gamora bared her teeth, looming over the Halfworlder, gun at her head.

“Ga….Gams,” he tried.

“N…..n….name your price….D...daughter of T...Thanos.”

“Shut up!” She hefted the gun, squeezing the trigger.

“Go on…” the Halfworlder grinned. “I’m hardly the first person you’ve killed….y...you enj...enjoy it...don’t y...you? He...he raised you well.”

Rocket stood on shaking legs,

“G...Gamora!”

The woman ignored him, leering at the injured alien woman. Her whole body shaking.

“W...what's it worth to you? We’ll double it. N...name your price.”

She turned over her shoulder, looking at him. Rocket froze, staring at her. Gamora adjusted her grip on the gun but did not look away, her eyes boring into him. The ringtail steadied himself under the crushing weight of her gaze.

She wouldn’t….she said she wouldn’t before...even when she was angry…

“I’m not like you.”

“Go on...d..daughter of Thanos...what will you trade for it? We’ll give you anything you want.”

Gamora looked at him, eyes narrow with contempt. He watched her bite the inside of her cheek. His own stomach turning.

“....well?”

She took a breath, held it. Still staring at him unblinking. He watched her turn her stance, pointing the barrel of the gun squarely between his eyes.

Rocket’s guts squirmed, tail sticking up, hairs prickling.

...Gamora….

She glared at him from above the gun, barely breathing.

“G...gams...I…”

Her brows narrowed,

Do. You. Trust. Me?

Yes.

Her wrist flicked, he flinched, going on all fours instantly. Then blinked, her fingers no longer held the trigger, but rotated the weapon around handing it to him.

It dawned on him too late.

The Halfoworld alien screeched in rage, making her move, leaping upward. Gamora spun, gun still in hand,

BAM! BAM! BAM!

The alien dropped instantly going still, blood pooling under her.

“We have to go,” Gamora ordered, monotone.

The ringtail opened his mouth but the words were still slow.

“Put this on,” she ordered, throwing his jumpsuit at him. “Can you walk?”

“Tsch...of course I …”

She didn’t wait for him. Dropping the gun, turning on her heel, and out of the lab room a limp in her step.

“Gams! W...wait!”

He tripped up, not expecting her to stop. She looked down at him, skeptical.

Flark me,

Rocket reached out, shaking paws grabbing at her boot. He hoisted himself up, crawling his way up her back and purchasing on her shoulder. She shifted her shoulders, glancing at him, waiting for him to secure himself.

He only nodded and held on as she took off, down the dark halls, up the stairs, through the halls. Surprisingly light on her feet, sword in hand, body tense and ready to fight at anything that might leap from the shadows. From his hand on her head, Rocket could feel the nerve tremors beneath her skin, hot to the touch. Her own cybernetics were damaged, the lines of facial enhancements in her cheek no longer seamless but broken and cut between flesh and metal.

Gamora rounded the corner, through another set of doors and out into the open.

Wh...where’s the...Benatar?

“HALT! By order of the Nova Corps, Subject 89P13, Gamora Daughter of Thanos you are under arrest for murdering an officer, lying under oath, and gross endangerment of your crew.”

Gamora let out a cough, chest heaving. She sheathed her sword. She reached up to him, Rocket expected her to throw him off, but she only pulled her hair back from her face.

“Gamora!”

Quill ran down the ramp of the Benatar,

“You got him! C’mon we gotta…..Nova’s here we have to…!”

Rocket couldn’t help but smirk, a pain twinging in his side as he laughed.

“Th...thank you..c...captain obvious.”

“Wow really?! The ONE time you acknowledge I’M the captain you…”

“B...bigger problems here Quill!”

From his place on Gamora’s shoulder, he thought he heard her huff in satisfied agreement.

It wasn’t much, but it was something.

#the body keeps the score fic #my writing #gotg #gotgfanfic #groot #baby groot #gamora #rocket raccoon #peter quill #starlord #drax #drax the destroyer #halfworld #rocket origins

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controloffandoms · 5 years

Text

Heart Breakers (P.P./S.M.)

Prompt: I’m still on my Endgame fics….But this one is with a twist. Your soulmate feels everything you do, emotions, pain, etc.

Pairing: Spiderman x Stark!reader

Words: 4528

Warnings: Major character deaths, Endgame spoilers (kinda), violence, depressed reader

Notes: In this, after the characters turn to ash, they continue to age so that they come out as they would have already been five years later.

Seven Years Ago

You trailed after the spider boy. Your father was currently dealing with another problem. The ‘Spider Man’ was fighting a man who called himself ‘The Vulture’. You winced as you saw the ship split in two. You hurried over, grabbing the ship and pulling to keep it together. Peter was still a whiles away from the ship. “Any time now, Parker,” you muttered.

Once he swung into the ship and began to hold it together, you worked on melting the metal back together. You groaned slightly as your arms twinged in pain, but brushed it off as you holding the boat together as long as you did. Once the ship was relatively back together, you and Parker got back to the city. “Seriously, why have you been following me around all day? It doesn’t mean anything unless you’re actually in that suit, Mr. Stark.”

You rolled your eyes, letting your helmet fold down into the suit. “Dad told me to make sure you were okay while he was gone. That’s what I’m doing. And, if you didn’t notice, I kept that ship together long enough for you to get there and hold it together while I welded it back together. If I hadn’t been there, that ship would have gone down.”

Peter just looked at you before he rolled his eyes. “I don’t need a watchdog.”

“I never said I was a watchdog. I’m simply here for when you need help. I’m not going to involve myself in every single thing you do. Most people would be happy to have me watching their back,” you rolled your eyes with a sigh.

Peter shook his head. “I don’t need your help. I’m doing fin-”

The wind was knocked out of you at the same time Peter was hit dead on by vulture. It took you a second to regain your breath, another second to process that you hadn’t been hit, and another second to go chasing after the Vulture. “Hey, birdbrain!” You knocked him off Peter, grabbing Peter’s arm so he wouldn’t fall.

You set Peter on a roof top to allow him to do his thing. You continued after Vulture. You lost sight of him and slowed your flying down to be able to properly look for him. A yell from your left caught you off guard. The Vulture pounced on you, causing you to freefall, hitting the ground with enough force to jar your head. You groaned as the Vulture’s claws found a weaker part in the arm piece. It was beginning to cut into your skin. You raised your other arm, blasting him off of you.

Peter was behind the Vulture, attacking him. You took a second to get a breath and got up. You rushed Vulture, kicking him into the side of a building. With both you and Peter working together, you were able to subdue the Vulture. You put in a call to Fury to have him pick up the man that Peter had webbed up snugly to a light post. “Are you alright,” Peter asked, motioning to your arm. You could see the blood slowly seeping out from the broken metal.

“This is going to be a bitch to get off, but I’ll be fine. Hazard of the job.” You wanted to ask if he felt it too, but you didn’t want to be too hopeful. “Are you alright? Vulture plowed into you at full speed earlier.”

“I heal pretty quickly.”

You nodded. You sighed before letting the helmet down again. “Would you like to come back to the tower with me? I think we both need to talk.”

__________________

Five Years Ago

You watched as the metal wheel thing descended from the sky. “What the hell is that,” you asked your dad.

“I don’t know.” You both raced off towards it.

You let the suit disassemble into the jewelry you wore as your father talked with Bruce and some wizard guy you didn’t know. You felt a sense of calm envelop you and smiled slightly, knowing it was Peter sending it to you. You had no doubt that he’d seen the alien ship and would be on his way.

You stepped closer to the ship...it was interesting tech from what you could see. You didn’t see the alien that stepped out of the ship, nor did you hear his voice...you were too interested in the alien tech. You realized your mistake too late, grunting at the impact of the wall. You got up, glaring at the one that had hit you. “That was rude.” You let your suit form around you again, “let me return the favor.”

You blasted the alien’s ass to kingdom come. “Jackass,” you muttered as you landed beside your father and the others. The helmet retracted and you glared at the alien in front of you. “Are you going to be a jackass as well? I’ll happily kick your ass if that’s the case.”

You don’t know how long you and the others had been fighting the aliens from the metal wheel, but suddenly it was taking off and you couldn’t breathe. You clasped a hand to your throat, collapsing to your knees. Bruce was by your side in seconds trying to talk to you, but you couldn’t hear him over your panic. Peter couldn’t breathe. Peter couldn’t breathe. Peter couldn’t breathe.

Then, Peter could breathe. You could breathe again. “He’s lucky I made a suit for him,” your father called through the coms.

“Sorry about that, Love,” Peter stated.

“It’s okay. I’ll head up to the ship and-”

“No, I’ve already got one teenager to look after, I don’t want to be worried about you. Stay with Bruce.”

“Dad-”

“I need you down there because I know you can make the tech they need. I need you to trust me.”

“And we’ll be back before you know it, (Y/N/N),” Peter added.

You sighed. “Stay safe, both of you. And I love you both,” it felt awkward to say it, but you didn’t know when you’d see them again...or if you’d see them again.

“I love you,” Peter immediately responded.

“I love you too, kid,” your father added.

__________________

You watched Thanos’ forces hitting the barrier around Wakanda. You’d already given all the tech you’d made out to its rightful owners. It was now about time for the battle. You looked at the person who was gripping your arm. Steve Rogers, one of your dad’s best friends. “You alright, (Y/N)?”

“Thanos’ army is trying to find ways into Wakanda, we’re about to go through the fight of our lives, I have no idea where Peter and my father are, and no idea where Thanos is. Not to mention that Vision wants us to kill him if we can’t get the mind stone out of his head in time to protect it.” You let out a shaky breath, “I’m just peachy.”

“We’re not going to let him win easily.”

You nodded. “Rig-ugh,” you clutch your stomach. “I think Peter found Thanos,” you mumbled. You were finally able to get a full breath in. You stood back up, rubbing a hand over your sore stomach. “I hope everyone here that has soulmates that aren’t heroes are happy about the fact. Because it really fucking sucks sometimes,” you stated as your head began to pound.

Steve’s hand clutched your shoulder in sympathy. “If you need to, you can go watch Shuri and Vision to ensure their safety and we’ll deal with the army.”

You shook your head. “No, I can do this.”

With that, the games begin. You had never seen so many adversaries in one place. You took to the skies, taking the alien creatures down one by one. You and Sam tag teamed a group of the aliens before getting separated again. “Watch your back, Stark,” T’challa called. You turned in time to deflect the alien.

That left you open from the front, and you went tumbling down. The impact with the added weight of the alien caused the metal around your abdomen to crush inward, causing you to bite back a scream. You blasted the alien, instantly killing him. You were thrown back into the trees from another attack. Then you were pushed further back into a clearing.

You moved in time to miss the next attack. With a couple of well placed blasts, you took care of the alien. “Everyone alright,” Cap asked those that were gathered in the clearing by this point.

Mumbles of ‘yeahs’ and ‘mostly’ went up through the group. You all turned to the portal that opened, letting Thanos through. You didn’t pay attention to what was said. You had to take him down before he could get to Vision. He couldn’t get the last stone.

Pushing the pain away, you charged Thanos from the back, picking the titan up before unibeaming him back into the Earth. As you went in for another hit, Thanos grabbed your boot, throwing you into the ground multiple times before pulling you to face him. “So you’re Stark’s daughter. He kept telling me that no matter if I defeated him, you would defeat me. I don’t see how you could.”

He ripped away at your suit. “You are nothing more than a human in a power suit.” He used a piece of your suit as a sword, burying it deep within you abdomen. You couldn’t control the scream that ripped from your throat at the pain that followed it. Thanos threw you to the side, no longer worried about you.

You must have blacked out for a little while because when you woke up, Vision was dead, his mind stone on the Infinity Gauntlet. Thanos was talking to Thor who’s ax was protruding from Thanos’ chest. “You should...you...you should have gone for the head,” it was like it was all in slow motion as Thanos snapped his fingers.

It was the most unimaginable pain you’d ever felt. You could tell Peter’s ‘spidey sense’ was picking up that he was going to die. It was agonizing. During this time, you had pulled yourself into a sitting position, clutching the piece of metal stuck in your body. You couldn’t hear anything, all you could focus on was Peter and how he was dying.

It was like the whole world just stopped. Tears were flowing down your face and your mouth was open, but you couldn’t tell if you were screaming or not...your hearing hadn’t come back to you yet. You gripped the metal in your body tighter, pulling it from your abdomen. You stood, determined. Peter was dead, and it was Thanos’ fault.

The world came back to you almost as quickly as it had left. Thor was screaming at Thanos...it was a good distraction. “He’s dead because of you,” you shouted, jumping and shoving the metal through Thanos’ neck. He sputtered, looking at you with wider eyes. You shoved the metal even further in. You couldn’t stop him as he closed his fist and teleported away, but that didn’t stop you from trying.

Thor pulled you away once he realized what was going to happen. He didn’t want you to teleport with him, you were hurt. You fought against him, even when Thanos was gone. Finally, you collapsed on yourself, sobs leaving your broken body. “Peter’s dead,” you kept muttering over and over.

_________________

Present Day

Since Peter’s death, you’d distanced yourself from everyone. There was a time where you had hope that you would all figure out how to bring everyone back, but that had long since passed. Every day you woke up, thinking Peter would be making breakfast or would run through the door and apologize for being away for so long. Your mood would only darken from there. Most days you didn’t leave the bed.

You got up slowly and cleaned up a bit. After a shower, you pushed yourself to get something to eat. You don’t think you’ve eaten in three days and you knew that Peter would want you to take care of yourself. As you finished the meager breakfast you’d made, you were going to go back to your room but someone knocked at your door. You thought about ignoring it, but with the persistent knocking, you knew they wouldn’t leave any time soon.

You opened the door, not bothering to look up at the person standing in the doorway. You turned and walked back into the apartment. “Kid, you can’t live like this.”

You rolled your eyes, deciding to clean the dishes in the sink while your father walked around the apartment. “You have a family. You have a-” you cleared your throat, willing the tears away, “you have a soulmate. You don’t get to judge my life since you don’t know what it’s like losing the person you’re meant to be with.” Your voice cracked a lot from not being used and probably from some of the emotions you were feeling.

“I know I can’t relate to that, but you have to take care of yourself. Peter’s not going to want to see you withered away when we bring him back.” The plate you had been holding clattered into the sink, breaking. Your back was tense. “We came up with a plan...but we need your help. You know tech better than I do sometimes. I need your help to build a machine to help us get our friends and family back.”

You took a deep breath, willing your heart not to hope. If this wasn’t true, you couldn’t be hurt again. “Don’t play on my emotions like that,” you ground out.

“We’re not. We think we can at least get everyone that turned to ash back, (Y/N),” you hadn’t seen Steve come in.

You finally looked at the small group that stood in your apartment. Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, Natasha Romanoff, and your father, Tony Stark. Their faces were a mix of hope and determination. You bit your lip, shaking your head. “What do you need me to build?”

_________________

You took a deep breath, messing one last time with the wires to make sure everything was correct. You didn’t want to end up doing damage to anyone that tested the machine. You’d run the calculations hundreds of times, went over the wiring even more, and you were still a nervous mess. “Okay...this is as ready as it’s ever going to be.”

Tony came over to you, pulling you into a hug. “It’s going to work. You built it. I have all the faith in the world in you...so have faith in yourself.”

You nodded. After Peter had died, all your Stark charm was gone. You just couldn’t find it in yourself to care about anything. How could you go on with your old life without Peter being there? You dipped into that Stark charm to put on a brave face. You were going to get everyone back. “Alright. Two minutes and I’m pulling you back.”

“See you when we get back,” Steve stated to everyone as he took his place.

You sent them through, worry eating at your insides. This plan was crazy. As the two minutes ended, you hit a couple of buttons on the machine, sighing as you saw everyone start to reemerge. You did a head count, eyes narrowing as you saw one was missing. “Where’s Nat, did I lose her,” you asked, trying again and again to get her signal on the machine, but getting nothing.

Clint just shook his head. “Sacrificed herself for the Soul stone.”

It was silent as everyone took in the information. “Then we need to make damn sure we get everyone else back. She didn’t die for us to fail,” you stated. “Bruce, you’re going to wield the gauntlet. With the Hulk on your side, you should be able to survive if you snap.” You started to ramble on about the logistics and calculations you had done to ensure that he was the only one who could snap and survive, but a hand on your shoulder had you close your mouth.

“I understand the logic, (Y/N). I’ll do it.” You handed him a gauntlet, nodding to the others to put the stones in the gauntlet. “Alright, let’s get everyone back.”

You walked over to your dad...you really hoped this worked. If it did...Peter would come back to you. He placed an arm over your shoulders before pressing a bracelet into your hand. You looked down, noticing the colors of your suit. You slipped the bracelet on and warily watched Bruce as he used the power of the gauntlet.

Did it work? You suited up as you saw Bruce go down, grabbing the gauntlet and pulling it from his hand. You dropped it almost immediately as the power started to flow through you, weakening you. You dropped down the Bruce as Steve asked him if he was alright. He asked if it worked. “I-I think so.”

The next few moments were filled with confusion and you weren’t clear on exactly what happened. You winced as you stood up. The suit had retracted back into the bracelet. You coughed, placing your hand on the wall as the dust started to settle. What the hell happened?

You made your way towards the light of the outside world. You winced, trying to get your eyes to adjust. Once they did, you zoned in on Thanos. He beat down your father, Steve, and Thor easily. Oh he was yours. The suit formed around you and you took off, aiming directly for Thanos and hitting your mark, making you both fly several yards in the direction you were going.

You placed both hands on either side of his head and blasted your repulsors, rendering him momentarily out of commission as he couldn’t see or hear. You brought your metallic fist down on his face, over and over for how much pain he had caused you over the past five years. Just as your fist was going to meet his face again, his hand shot up and grabbed it.

He threw you around like it was nothing, putting dents in your armor. He even started to tear parts of it away before Thor was on him again. Some time in the fight with Thanos, you’d lost your helmet and part of your torso armor. You took a few deep breaths as you took stock of the situation. Thanos’ army was pouring from the sky, Thanos was occupied with getting the infinity stones, and everyone besides Thor was fighting the army.

As Thor was thrown away from Thanos and bombarded by the alien army, you went for Thanos again. You wouldn’t let him win again. You were so focused on Thanos that you didn’t even notice the orange circles in the distance that let more warriors through to fight the army. “You honestly think you can defeat me. That’s laughable. I am the most powerful being in the universe, you are nothing but an ant beneath my feet.”

“I never said that I was the one that would defeat you. I’m just one of those ‘ants’ that will lead to your downfall.” You gave it everything you had, landing quite a few good hits. Thanos, on the other hand, landed a lot more punches than you did.

Blood dripped down from a couple of head lacerations you had acquired. You wouldn’t give up though. You began to push yourself up again but Thanos put his foot on your already crushed chest plate and raised his sword. “I’ll admit you gave me a good workout. But I’m through with your games.” As he brought the sword down, it was intercepted by Sam Wilson.

You stared at Sam as he pushed Thanos away from you. “You-You’re back.”

“Damn right I am,” he responded before taking off again. It took a second to sink in. If Sam was back, then so was Peter.

When you came back to your senses, you could feel his worry through the soul bond. He was worried for you. At your sudden spike of happiness, you could feel his confusion. Your Peter was back. You got up, looking around you. You didn’t see Thanos, you didn’t see Peter, but you knew he was there.

You sent all your love through the bond as you got back into the battle, taking down alien after alien with renewed vigor.

Finally you spotted Peter. You landed in front of him, blasting the aliens that surrounded him to pieces. Not seeing anymore aliens coming towards you, you turned to Peter. You were lost for words. He looked older than the last time you’d seen him. It was like he had aged while he’d been dusted. “It worked,” you whispered, reaching out to place a hesitant hand on his cheek.

He nuzzled into your hand, eyes closing in content. Your other hand went to his other cheek and you brought him into a bruising kiss. You didn’t realize that you’d started crying until Peter’s thumbs were wiping them away after you’d separated. “I missed you so much,” you cried.

Feeling your pain through the bond, he hugged you tighter, placing gentle kisses across your face. “I’m so sorry. I am so sorry I left you. It won’t ever happen again.” He placed a kiss on your lips again. “I love you.”

“I love you so much more,” you responded.

At the sound of aliens being fought off near the both of you, you both broke out of your haze. “I’m glad you two have reunited, but can the rest of your makeout session wait until we’ve taken care of Thanos and his army,” Steve asked.

You and Peter looked at each other, giving a quick kiss and getting back to the battle at hand.

__________________

You don’t know what caught your attention first: Thanos or your father. Everything was in slow motion as you raced to get to your father. He wouldn’t be able to wield the stones and survive. “And I. Am. Iron Man,” he snaps his fingers and the army starts to turn to dust.

Seconds later, you land next to him, panicking. “Dad-why did you-why did you do that? We could have...please don’t go,” you cried, hands shaking as Tony took them.

“It’s okay. I-I know you can make it. You and-You and Morgan are my greatest legacy, I know you’ll teach her everything she needs to know.” You couldn’t stop the tears, body shaking. “I love you, Squeaky.”

You buried your face in his neck. “I love you, Iron Dad.”

Peter was now by your side, and he didn’t look much better than you. You couldn’t pay attention to what they were saying to each other. The feeling in your chest nearly knocked the breath out of your body. You held your father’s hand until you could see his chest stop moving.

Your hands shook as you released the hand you’d been holding. You needed something to break. You needed something to take your mind off of the fact that your father was dead. You needed to hurt so you could forget what the pain in your chest feels like. It was a pain you’d been living with for the past five years, you couldn’t handle feeling it a second longer.

You ignored the people that reached out for you as you flew back to the trashed Avenger’s compound. It wasn’t long before you were doing enough damage that it could easily be seen from where the group was surrounding Tony. It didn’t take a person with super hearing to hear your screams as you continued to demolish the already crumbling building with your suit.

From the expression on Peter’s face, the group knew he was feeling all of the pain you were. Steve placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder, squeezing slightly. As the damage started to die down, they thought you would come out. When you didn’t, they looked to Peter for an explanation.

Peter rubbed his hands that were starting to sting. He decided to stop you before you seriously hurt yourself. He webbed himself to the compound and quickly found you. Your suit had run out of power, and now you were using your bare hands to let all the emotions out.

Peter gripped your hands in his before you could go back to hitting the wall. You struggled against him, trying to get free. He brought you into his embrace as you fought it, hitting his chest. Slowly, you started to settle down, sobbing into Peter’s chest. His own tears fell with the combination of what you were feeling along with his own pain at watching the father figure he’d come to love die after just reuniting with him.

“We’ll get through this together. Don’t shut me out.” He held you tighter as you did the same.

_________________

Ten Months Later

You sent a text to Peter telling him to finally bring the surviving Avengers and their families to your secret project. You had been working this since your father’s funeral. You made sure you had all of the snacks and drinks out...it was the grand opening of the new Avenger’s compound and you couldn’t have a grand opening without snacks and drinks.

You quickly walked outside, seeing the cover still over the monument and smiling slightly. You hoped everyone liked it. You had taken it from a photo that the group had taken before Thanos was ever a problem for anyone. You’d even gotten a picture of Loki from Thor after hearing what Loki did for him.

You watched as the cars started to pull in. You smirked at their wowed expressions...they hadn’t even seen the best part yet. Peter walked over to you, pressing a kiss to your head. You gave Morgan a hug as she walked over to you excitedly. “I would like to introduce you to the Avengers Memorial Headquarters. I figured we all needed a place we could come to talk, train, debrief, et cetera.”

You felt you suit spread across your body. “I would also like to introduce our Memorial...for all the brave and heroic things they did for us and the world.” You pulled the cover off from the top of the statue. Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, and Loki all stared back at the group.

You landed next to Peter, the suit retracting. You leaned into his embrace as those assembled walked closer to the memorial. “This is amazing, (Y/N),” Pepper stated.

“Thank you, Lady (Y/N),” Thor gave you a bone crushing hug.

You laughed lightly. “I know nothing can top that reveal, but I have a whole facility to show you guys. There are also some light snacks and refreshments set up.”

It still hurt to think of the people you’d lost because of Thanos...but it was becoming easier to cope with. Everything you were to do in the future, you did because of them...and you weren’t going to let their sacrifices be in vain.

Forever Tags

@miraclesoflove @way-ward-whale @avengersss-assembleee @nocturnalherb16

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glitterquadricorn · 5 years

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Marry Me - Bucky Barnes *ENDGAME SPOILERS*

Summary: For five long painstaking years, she had to live without the love of her life. So when he comes back, she doesn’t want to waste anytime she has with him. Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count: 1,397 Warning(s): Angst, Mentions Infinity war deaths, ENDGAME SPOILERS, mentions depression, mentions taking sleeping pills(not sure if this is an actually warning), some direct lines from endgame which btw I do not own, Thanos and his army get what they deserve, etc. I may have missed something.

A/N: I watched endgame and got a little inspired! Enjoy.

60 months, 260 weeks, 1,825 days, 43,817 hours, 2,629,038 minutes, 157,742,310 seconds, or 5 years. That’s how long she went without the love of her life, Bucky Barnes.

She fought alongside the others, trying their best to defeat these monsters. It seemed like when she managed to get rid of a couple, a dozen more filled in its place. By the time she was called into the lush green forest to fight Thanos, she was covered head to toe in dirt, sweat and blood. When seeing him, she didn’t hesitate to run towards him. But her efforts were futile as she was smacked by the gauntlet, and sent several feet away from the battle. Black spots clouded her vision, and she fluttered her eyes close. A couple of minutes later, she was being shaken awake.

“Are you okay?” Natasha asked, helping her up.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” y/n said, dusting herself off. Walking over to the others, she didn’t see the purple man anywhere. “Where’s Thanos?”

“He... disappeared,” Thor stared at the ground in disbelief. “He said I should’ve gone for the head and snapped his fingers.”

For a moment, everything was quiet. She thinks everyone was trying to mentally sort through what just happened. Out the corner of her eye, she saw Bucky come through the bushes.

“Y/n? Steve?” Bucky called out. The two people he called out to turned around just in time to see Bucky turning into ash. Y/n, being Bucky’s girl, raced over.

“No, no, no. Please god no! Anyone but you!”

“I love you, doll,”

“I love you to, Buck,” She smiled, tears rolling down her face. He disappeared just as fast as those eight letters left her lips. Looking down at her hands, they were covered in ashes. His ashes. A hand was put on her shoulder. “He’s gone...”

“Y/n...” Steve brought her in for a hug, but she wasn’t having it.

“No, Steve! You don’t get it!” She yelled, beating Steve’s chest with her fists. “I was going to propose to him, and now I can’t thanks to that crippled raisin!”

She jolted awake, covered in a thin layer of sweat. Every time she closed her eyes, it would be the same nightmare over and over. She thought, ‘Why couldn’t it be me and not him?’ ‘What if I did this instead of that?’ ‘Why wasn’t I fast enough to stop Thanos?’ ‘What if I hadn’t gotten knocked out? I could’ve stopped him from snapping his fingers.’ All these what if’s and why questions lead her to a depressive state. Then that lead to taking sleeping pills just to try to sleep at night. But the nightmare still came regardless.

Her mind went to the black velvet box sitting in her nightstand. Like in the nightmare, she was going to propose to him because fuck society and their stupid stereotypes. Sighing, she leaned over and grabbed the box out of the drawer. Tucked into the cushion sat a simple silver vibranium ring that she asked Shuri to make. She thumbed over the cold metal, choking back tears.

“You okay?” A voice behind her asked.

She peeked over her shoulder and saw Steve standing there. “No, I’m not,”

“You want to talk about it?” Steve stepped into y/n’s room, sitting on the edge of her bed. When Steve saw what she was doing, he frowned.

“Not really,”

“Talking about it may make you feel better, you know?”

“Talking about it will only make me angry, Steve,” Y/N turned her gaze to Steve. “I’m angry because I didn’t do everything in my power to stop Thanos. I’m angry because I let myself get knocked out. I’m angry that I didn’t do anything to save him! It should've been me, Steve. It should've been me.”

“You shouldn’t blame yourself, y/n. You did everything you could’ve done,”

“But why does it feel like I didn’t do enough?” y/n sobbed loudly.

Steve sighed, sitting there in silence as the woman next to him finally broke down. He wrapped one arm around her shoulders and brought her in close. A few minutes later when she calmed down, he looked down at the ring in the box. “Have I ever said thank you?”

“Thank you? For what?”

“For making Bucky happy. I’ve known him since we were kids and not once has he ever talked about one woman before. He really does love you, y/n,”

Steve’s statement made her smile. “You think he’d say yes?” She asked, referring to the engagement ring.

“Definitely,”

“We need to bring him back. We need to bring everyone back,” She said with more motivation in her tone.

“We will,”

The team split up, went back in time and got the stones. When they got all the stones together, they put them in a gauntlet Tony had made. Bruce, being the brave soul that he was, put it on and snapped his fingers, bringing those who died five years ago back to the current year. She, along with Scott, had walked over to the window. Completely amazed, she heard the birds chirping.

“Guys... I think it worked,” Scott said beside her. Just then, the compound exploded and buried her and the others under rubble. She groaned, feeling the pressure of debris on her body. Scott cleared the bits of concrete off her and helped her up. “Come on! We got to go save the others!”

The next thing she knew she was on a planet that was in ruins. Gazing around, she saw those who got dusted five years ago and some she didn’t recognize.

“Avengers... Assemble!” Steve said, gritting his teeth before charging forward towards Thanos and his army.

She runs towards the first alien monster she sees and doesn’t hesitate in stabbing its gut with her sword. Pulling it out swiftly, she moved on to the next one, cutting its head off its shoulders. One by one, she continued to take them out. That’s until one of them got too close for comfort and knocked her and sword to the ground. She held the monster up using her forearm as it tried to gnaw at her face. It was evident that she was struggling to get this monster off her. And just when she thought it was going to get her, the monster’s body fell limp and fell on top of on her.

Tossing the body off, a familiar hand came into view. She looked up and saw the one person she’s been missing for 5 years. “Buck?”

“Hey Doll,”

“Bucky! I’ve missed you!” She grinned, getting off the ground and hugging him tightly. She was almost afraid to let him go, afraid he’d disappear again. Pulling away, “Marry me?”

“Are you seriously asking me to marry you during a fight?”

“Yeah, yeah I am,”

“As much as this reunion is cute, there’s a fight going on,” Sam said into the comms, flying over head.

“Sam has a point. How about you give your answer when the fight is over?”

“That’s if we’re still standing,”

“Don’t talk like that!” She hushed him, but then was pushed out of the way when an alien came towards her. Bucky pulled the trigger on his gun, killing the monster. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, doll,” Bucky winked, before killing more aliens. “Don’t go to far love,”

“Wasn’t planning on it,”

Together, side by side, they killed more of Thanos’ army. They were killing them left and right, but then they started to turn to dust. The panic in y/n rose seeing them all turn to ash. Turning around, she saw that Bucky was still standing there.

“What’s going on?” He asked, stepping towards y/n. “Did we win?”

“I don’t know, but I hope we did,” She whispered. Facing him, y/n grabbed his face. “You never gave you me an answer you know.”

“Ask me again,”

“Will you marry me?”

“Yes,”

I actually wrote something for once! YAY GO ME! I have other things in my drafts that I’m working on, but I don’t know when I’ll post them. Procrastination is real bitch ain’t it.

Feedback? Please?

Tagging(permanent):

@buckys-sweetheart @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @maliasbubble @sergeantjbuckybarnes @patzammit @yagirlmexic @awkwardfangirl2014 @beckieandhertardis @tinycyberhacker @streetghostfighter07 @distant-illusions @sugaglory @independentgirl

#endgame spoilers #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #marvel x reader #marvel one shot #x reader #bucky barnes one shot #marvel oneshot #one shot #oneshots #imagine #imagines #winter soldier #winter soldier x reader #the avengers #the avengers x reader #the avengers one shot

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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savvysass · 5 years

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Self Sacrafice is a Bitch: Chapter 2

Ao3

Wow I actually finished a 2nd chapter??? who woulda thunk. Updates every monday!

Comments are greatly appreciated! Give me advice on what to do and I might give you a sneak peak at the story!

Rating:Not Rated

Archive Warning:Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category:Gen

Chapter: 2/?

Fandoms:Marvel Cinematic UniverseSpider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types

Relationships:Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), peter parker & all the avengers, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker

Characters:Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Steve Rogers, Happy Hogan, May Parker, Michelle Jones, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Thor (Marvel), Peter Quill, Wanda Maximoff, James "Bucky" Barnes, Bruce Banner, Helen Cho, Nick Fury, Flash Thompson, everyone else who i forgot, its literally everyone i swear

Additional Tags: endgame fix it fic, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Whump, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Near Death Experiences, Recovery, Amputation, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, probably more than i remember

Tony’s world came to a stop as Peter’s fingers snapped and a burst of energy encompassed the universe. Thanos’ army was turning to dust all around them, but all he could focus on was Peter- his kid - dropping to the ground with a thud.

No.

All at once, time sped up. He was surging forward, raw and unfiltered panic coursing through his veins. The coms were lighting up, victory cries echoing in his ears as his world shattered. He dropped to his knees, scooping his son- yes, he decided, this is his son- into his arms. A sob tore through him at the sight of his mangled arm and face.

Peter’s eyes were glassy with shock, his breath shallow and uneven, but even that was enough to give Tony some sense of relief- because he survived.

Against every odd, His kid survived.

Peter started coughing weakly, and realization dawned on Tony.

His celebration might be short lived.

“Get a med evac…” he said numbly, registering people in the coms asking him what was wrong. Everything caught up with him then, and the shock of what had happened was overcome by pure terror at the sight of his child slipping out of consciousness.

Was he going to die?

“I said get a fucking med evac for the kid!” He screamed into the coms.

People that were near him on the battlefield were rushing through the debris to get to him then, some Tony recognized and some he didn’t, but he didn’t care. His kid was looking up at him with dazed and pained eyes, begging for comfort. Tony squeezed him tight as he whispered quiet assurances to him.

“You’re okay Peter… I’ve got you… Just hold on, okay?” He said through tears, and Peter stared up at him, limp in his arms as his breath began rattling in his chest- the rattle that came with a broken system shutting down.

He couldn’t die now. He had survived the snap. He couldn’t die now.

The wizard was in front of them. He ran his hand over Peter as he tried to assess the damage. Tony looked to his face for answers, but the man was stoic.

A medical team that was on the ground rushed over and started to try to take Peter out of his arms. Every instinct he had was telling him to hold onto the kid's limp form, but he knew he had to let these people do their job. As his kid was torn from his arms, he felt a cold emptiness encompass him. It left him breathless.

They were acting like they were losing him.

He felt a firm hand start to pull him to his feet. Steve steadied him as he led him toward the helicopter that was now landing in front of them.

“Go with Queens, Tony. There is an underground bunker with a full medical facility just a few miles north. That’s where they will take him.” He said solemnly. Tony blinked at him slowly as he tried to process what had just happened.

“Tony, go with him. He needs you.” He heard Pepper say firmly into the coms.

That snapped him back to reality.

Hardening his resolve, Tony stepped out of his suit.

Yes, his kid needed him right now.

He wasn’t going to let his kid die.

…

The ride on the helicopter felt like an eternity, but it must have only been about 10 minutes. His kid, being hooked up to an IV in his right arm, his left arm wrapped in a tourniquet since it was mutilated beyond repair. The thought of his kid losing his arm just about made him throw up whatever meal he had last eaten onto the metal floor, but he held fast in his position by Peter’s side. He flatlined half-way there, and Tony had almost passed out as he held his breath while they resuscitated him. Tony simply held the kid’s limp hand, trying to keep him grounded.

His kid was flatlining, and he was completely useless.

Peter’s heart had restarted right before they landed, a breathing tube shoved down his throat as he arched off the gurney. Tony’s eyes went wide and panicked at the sight of his kid fighting back, but Strange assured him it was a good sign that he was resisting.

Tony rushed to keep up with the team as they hurried Peter into the OR. They blocked Tony at the door.

“We’ve got it from here, Mr. Stark.” One of the doctors said, ushering both him and Strange out into a large waiting room.

And then all was still.

And Tony broke.

His breaths were coming in as short gasps, his body shaking as his mind became clouded with panic.

Flatlines and glassy eyes.

Strange put a steadying hand on his shoulder.

“Stark, keep it together.”

Pale skin turning a lifeless gray.

Tony couldn’t breathe. His world was collapsing. His kid- His kid who he had just gotten back after 5 whole years of thinking he would never see him again- was in there fighting for his life.

The defibrillator bouncing off of Peter’s chest.

“You said… One reality. One reality where we won.”

Strange nodded.

“Then why did you save me?!” Tony screamed, tears running down his face. “Why save me if Peter was the one who was going to- to do that?”

A deathly rattle in his chest.

“Because he was only going to do it if you were going to sacrifice yourself, Tony. This is the only reality where we get the stones, and Peter was always the one to step in and stop you. It was always going to be Peter, Tony. It was always him.”

The smell of burnt flesh.

Denial shook his very core, and he grit his teeth.

“This had to happen, Tony. It had to be this way.”

Tony punched a hole into the wall.

“Like hell it had to be this way!” He roared, white dry wall falling onto the floor as he pulled his hand back and slammed it into the wall again.

A limp body in his arms.

The rest of the Avengers filed in then, Steve, Sam, Thor, Clint, Bucky and Rhodey all stiff at the sight of Tony mid-meltdown.

“Tony, you need to calm down.” Steve said softly, not having seen his friend this upset since learning who killed his parents.

“Calm Down? CALM DOWN?!” He screams, glaring daggers at the man. “My kid is in their dying on the table, and you want me to calm down, Rogers?!”

Yes.

That’s right.

His kid was dying.

The realization hit him like a bullet. He started sobbing.

The others straightened up as Tony broke down. Steve furrowed his brow. “What do you mean, your kid, Stark?”

Tony simply shook his head.

Clint stepped forward then, a knowing look on his face. He put his hand on Tony’s shoulder.

“Kids aren’t supposed to die for their parents, Barton.” Tony whispered. Clint nodded in understanding.

“Peter’s more than just your kid though, Tony. He’s an Avenger. He’s a hero.”

Tony clenched his teeth.

“I should have never brought him into this.” He whispered.

“The universe would be in chaos if you hadn’t.”

The thought didn’t comfort him.

“Tony?”

Tony lifted his head to see Pepper rushing out of her suit and towards where he was.

“Pep.”

Clint stepped out of the way as Pepper embraced Tony. Tears were streaming down her face.

“Pep, the kid… the kid Pep.”

“I know… Tony I know.” She sobbed. She wiped the tears from Tony’s face.

Tony felt the strength leave his legs as a deep sorrow set in his bones. Pepper led him to a chair, and he dropped his head into his hands.

...

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, Pepper comforting him as others talked around him. He was aware that people were looking at him. They didn’t know how to help, and Tony knew they couldn’t. Clint seemed the most apt to tend to him, bringing him some water at some point. Other people whispered how they didn’t know Tony was so attached to Peter. He almost scoffed. How could he not feel like a father to Peter? Peter was the most honest, loving, excited kid he had ever met, and he couldn’t help but fall into the role he was now playing.

He hadn’t made it obvious though. He guesses he didn’t even completely know how important Peter was to him until he had Morgan. As he watched Morgan grow, he realized he felt the same way he had with Peter. That tug at his heart- the need to protect and love her.

Tony hadn’t realized Peter was his son until he was already gone.

And now, here he was, losing him all over again.

His soul felt empty.

The world droned on around him when a piercing voice that sounded as panicked as he was pulled him from his sorrows.

“Where is my baby?!” May Parker screamed, tears streaming down her face. She spotted Tony then, his eyes lifeless and swollen.

She rushed up to him, getting on her knees in front of him and grabbing his shoulders.

“Tony, tell me he’s okay. Tony please- please tell me he survived!”

Tony took a shaky breath, placing his hand on hers.

“He’s alive May. He’s- He’s in surgery. I don’t- I don’t know what is happening beyond that.”

She searched his eyes, begging for assurance. Her hand shook in his grasp.

“Fix this, Tony Stark. You’re the only one I know that can fix this. Please- I don’t know how, I don’t know what you need...I just… I need him, Tony. I won’t make it without him.” She sobs. Tony knows she means it.

“May, sit down.” Pepper says softly. She pulls May into the chair besides Tony. May crumples against her and sobs wracked her body.

“My baby, Pepper, My baby…”

“I know…” Pepper said softly. “But we are here. And we are going to do everything we can.”

May just sobbed harder.

The weight in the room seemed heavier now, the other Avengers taking in the sight of grieving guardians.

“How old is he, Tony?” Someone asked- he didn’t even bother to see who it was.

“Sixteen.” He said softly. He felt the tension in the air spike.

“Shit- Tony he’s a kid.” He heard Sam say in exasperation. “I knew he was young- I could tell when I met him he was young- but damn sixteen?”

“He was actually 15 when you met him, and 14 when I found him on youtube stopping a car from crashing into a bus.”

“Shit.”

Guilt started to consume him.

He had brought him into this.

“The next generation, huh?” Clint says softly. “He’s only two years older than my boy Cooper. They think they are all grown up.”

Tony grimaced.

Peter might not ever get a chance to grow up now.

“We can’t stop them though, from thinking they are adults. That’s just how they are.”

“So what now?” Tony whispered. “We just sit here? We just sit here and let a kid die for us?”

“We will not let him die.” He heard a young woman say. She was in scrubs, and must have been a nurse at the medical facility. She was probably trying to tend to the less injured.

“If there is a way to save him, we will. We put our best doctors in there. If he can be saved, we will save him.”

Tony saw a fire in her eyes.

He wish he had that confidence.

A sharp ring cut through the air, making Tony jump. May fumbled for her phone. She took a sharp inhale as she saw the caller id.

She cleared her throat and picked up.

“Ned, sweetie-”

“Where is he?!” Tony heard a shout on the phone, loud enough for everyone to hear. May covered the speaker and stepped down the hall.

Tony wanted to ask how Ted or Ned or whatever knew Peter was hurt, but his question was answered when his phone lit up.

A search you track is now trending: Spiderman.

“Someone turn on the news.” He said quickly, Steve grabbing a remote and turning on a TV in the corner of the waiting room.

An anchor sat in front of the camera, his eyes shining with tears as he tried to keep his composure. The lower thirds on the bottom of the screen boldly declaring “Thanos Defeated by Spiderman.”

Everyone watched with rapt attention.

“The Avenger’s Compound was destroyed by Thanos and his army soon after the reappearance of victims of the snap, people in shock as they reunited with loved ones they thought long deceased. According to a witness who had access to a drone, a young man in a blue and red suit stole the stones from Iron Man in the last minute and used them to defeat Thanos before collapsing to the ground.”

A video starts playing then, shaky footage from about 200 feet away of the moment the snap happened, the drone focusing in on peter’s form from a distance. Tony feels his mouth go dry as he sees his kid drop once again.

“As you can see from this video, a medical team tends to the man before loading him into the helicopter. His identity cannot be made out with the footage taken by the witness, but people online are claiming the man is a local neighborhood hero from Queens known as Spiderman.”

His phone began ringing then, and he grimaced at the name on the screen.

Thaddeus Ross.

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junetuesday · 5 years

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12 Days of Christmas - *8*

Pairing: Tom Holland x Female Reader

Warnings: none i dont think???? shocking i know

Word Count: 1353 (she’s a shorty fillery thing)

A/N: Yada yada late upload etc etc. It’s before 4am though so that’s something, right? Full disclosure, I heard a woman on tv say the line about cheese and @spiderboytotherescue thought it was about dick so I mean I had to put it in here. Also hope you guys get the Love Actually reference otherwise the last line will be extremely confusing. I haven’t proofread this and nothing really happens in it but heyho xx

December 18th

If there was one thing that would persuade you to go out on a four-degree December day, it’s a Christmas market. And as luck would have it, there was one such market not ten minutes from your flat - and a particularly good one at that.

Bundled up in a knitted jumper, your winter coat, black jeans and an exceptionally cute cream beanie-scarf-gloves combo, you all but dragged Tom by the hand through the high street. You wandered through the stalls, peering into each little wooden hut as you passed. Most were selling food; homemade jams and chutneys in jars topped with gingham-printed lids populated one stand, another overflowing with different cured meats and cheeses. You stared longingly at a huge block of stilton, but Tom pulled you away, wrinkling up his nose at the strong smell. If there was one thing you would change about your boyfriend, it would be his aversion to, shall we say, more sophisticated cheeses - i.e. ones that require their own drawer in the fridge.

“So disgusting,” he grimaced.

“And yet I still want to put it in my mouth,” you sighed, ignoring Tom’s smirk and quirked brow.

Reluctantly, you left the food stalls behind to browse through a selection of handmade jewellery. You chatted with the owner, trying to ignore your growling stomach as the woman described the spiritual properties of each of the stones in a necklace.

“Which one’s the Mind Stone?” Tom murmured in your ear, pressing against you as he pretended to inspect a truly hideous pair of earrings.

You faked a cough, bringing your gloved hand up to your face to conceal your giggle and nodding earnestly at whatever the woman was saying about auras. You had been quite interested in what she was saying, but now Tom had planted the idea in your head and you couldn’t stop picturing the necklace around Thanos’ giant purple neck.

Excusing yourself as politely as possible without actually buying anything, you squeezed past other shoppers to rejoin the stream of shoppers looping around the perimeter of the market. Stopping occasionally to look at a stall or point out a dog in a coat, you made your way around until you were back at the food stalls. This time though, you spotted something you hadn’t seen the first time, and Tom’s arm very nearly popped out of its socket from the force with which to pulled him to the counter.

“One Nutella crepe, please!”

You watched hungrily as the owner poured batter over a cast iron plate, spreading it thinly across the hot metal as it cooked. Pulling your gloves off with your teeth (cream gloves and chocolate spread don’t mix well), you recorded a Boomerang on your phone as Nutella was drizzled over, melting deliciously over the golden batter. By the time the owner handed you your crepe, folded over on itself and wrapped in a napkin, you were salivating.

Biting into the hot pancake, chocolate oozing into your mouth, you moaned, your eyes rolling back in culinary pleasure.

“Enjoying yourself?” Tom smirked, chuckling when you nodded enthusiastically. “Think you could handle getting a hot chocolate or will that push you over the edge?”

Licking a smudge of chocolate from the corner of your mouth, you nodded again. Looking around for a moment, you jabbed your crepe in the direction of a nearby bench. With melted chocolate sticking to the roof of your mouth, words were not an option, but Tom got the gist.

The metal seat was cold beneath your thighs when you sat down, your legs bouncing to keep warm as you waited for Tom to come back with your drink. Munching happily on your crepe, you took the opportunity to people watch. Being a Tuesday afternoon, it wasn’t exactly heaving, but there were a fair few people out. You watched a young mother crouching down in front of her son’s pushchair, trying desperately to shove his woolly hat back on his head after each time he tore it off. Kids are weird, you thought, I wouldn’t take this hat off if you paid me.

Taking another bite of your rapidly disappearing crepe, you turned your attention to an elderly couple across the street. You’d seen them about before, the man with his walking frame and the woman walking in front of him, pulling him along by the frame like it was a supermarket trolley with a wonky wheel as opposed to a walking aid. You watched them shuffling along the street together, contemplating what their story might be as you ate. Were they childhood sweethearts? Maybe they were on-again-off-again lovers in their youth, separated by some twist of fate, only to be reunited as divorcees some forty years later? Maybe they weren’t even a couple, maybe they were siblings, cousins, friends - you’d never know, but that’s all part of the fun.

“Stop staring at that old man.”

Tom’s voice pulled you from your speculations, a steaming cup of hot chocolate in each of his hands.

“How do you know I wasn’t staring at the woman?”

You nodded matter-of-factly when he shrugged, popping the last of your crepe into your mouth. Wiggling your legs as you got to your feet, you tried to regain some of the feeling in your thighs that you’d lost from sitting on the freezing metal.

“Apparently that’s how you get piles,” Tom noted as he handed you your drink. “Sitting on cold surfaces.”

“That-ah-” you took a sip, panting when the hot liquid burned your tongue. “That’s not true, but can we please not talk about piles?”

Taking your hand, Tom gave an exaggerated sigh.

“You never want to talk about anything fun.”

You pottered around the shops hand in hand for a while, sipping your drinks once they’d cooled down (and a couple of times before - you never learn). You snapped a few photographs as you went - one of the Christmas tree in front of shopping centre, one of the phone boxes toppled over like dominoes on Old London Road - and a couple of Tom looking startled with fans who mustered up the courage to ask for a picture after not-very-subtly following you around John Lewis for twenty minutes.

“Why do you look so terrified?” you laughed as you walked away. “You’re literally on camera for a living but as soon as someone goes to take a picture it’s like you lose control of your face.”

“You’re such a bitch, anyone ever tell you that?”

“Once or twice,” you shrugged, squeezing Tom’s hand as he linked his fingers through yours. “No one important though.”

By the time you left the department store, heavily laden with bags and most of your Christmas shopping complete, you were about ready to head home and fall onto the sofa in a heap. You were just about to suggest this to Tom when he stopped dead in his tracks, a panicked look on his face.

“Oh shit-”

“What?” You rejigged the bags in your hands, the handles cutting into your palms as you looked over your shoulder at him.

“I forgot to- hang on.” He stepped to the side, out of the way of people coming in and out of the store before setting his bags down. “Wait here, don’t follow me, I’ll be back.”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, leaving you bewildered by the umbrellas as he scurried away back into the depths of the department store.

Five minutes later he reappeared, slightly out of breath and his cheeks flushed pink.

“Ready to go?” He smiled brightly at you, picking up the bags he’d set on the floor.

“You know I can see the box in your back pocket, right?”

Tom’s face drained of colour, his mouth opening and closing uselessly as his brain flicked through possible excuses.

“That- well - it’s-”

You shifted your bags to one hand, holding his jaw still with the other so you could bring you lips to hover just over his.

“If that turns out to be a fucking Joni Mitchell CD I will murder you.”

tags:@starksparker, @bi-writes , @snowflakespideys , @buckyparkerish , @thwippeter , @cutiehollands , @loserparker , @madmadmilk , @hollandlovely@spiderboytotherescue , @santahollands @dtftomholland @moonkissedtom@cabbagebag @iknowisoundcrazy , @spiderman-n, @luvnyuh , @parkerpuff @thwip-it-real-good @positiveparker @ap93mcu @popculture-parker@christmas-marvel @younglove16 @girlreaderr @pineapplwz @thequeensardine@idk-who-cares @hollandroos @mikalaka @thot–holland @awkwardfangirl2014 @booksaremylife602 @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @dacrekaydaddict @lovelyspidey @summernykole @smashley816

@unicorn-princess-1999 @uwu-peter-parker-uwu @sleepwalkingdragon @adisneygeek01 @hs-medicine @thelazypangolin @curlyhairedparker @curlytoms

#12 days of christmas fic #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #tom holland christmas fic

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plasticparker · 5 years

Text

even in the dark I see your lights somehow

WHAT UP BITCHES this is some really pointless angst. will my plot (term used very loosely for this drabble) be deemed incorrect when a4 comes out? ya forsure. do i care? no.

AU in which the reader survives Thanos ~snap~ and Peter doesnt (aka 2 years later, Peter comes back, angsty reunions)

word count: 3.7k

Two years ago, Thanos snapped his fingers and ended the world.

Or, technically, killed half of it.

10 months ago, the remaining Avengers dragged themselves back together at the arrival of Tony Stark and Captain Marvel.

6 months ago the world found a new normal. With half the world gone, most businesses, government offices, and schools closed. The few that were left were sparsely populated, but functioning. Everything was consolidated. The orphanages were stocked full of homeless children in the beginning, but luckily, parents who lost their own children by Thanos’ hand had taken to them, and families grew by double every day. People stepped up because they had no choice, and it had worked. Things weren’t the same, and they never would be. But you were alive, you were going to college in the fall, you had a place to stay.

It was bad for a long time. No one really knew what had happened at first, even after Steve Rogers face was broadcast on every TV and he explained that half the world-half the universe-was dead.

When Tony Stark made it back to Earth, though he was only here for a few days at most before joining the rest of his team in search of Thanos, he came right to May’s door. He found you and May in the wreckage of her apartment building and had Happy set you up in a small house outside of the city. Close to Avengers headquarters. To keep an eye on you, he’d said. To alleviate some of his guilt, you knew.

You tucked the phone between your shoulder and ear, shouldering the door open and carefully setting the box down on the table. It was labeled Stark Industries, as were most of the packages you found on you and May’s doorstep were these days.

“Pretty sure Tony sent us something else,” you said into the phone, inspecting the box.

You could practically hear May rolling her eyes.

“Seriously? What is it this time?”

“Not sure. Let you know when I find out.”

“Hopefully it's a new microwave,” She said. You laughed; the microwave had ended up on fire a few nights before in one of May’s attempts to make mug cookies. She had an oven, and you’d been wondering aloud why she wouldn't just make real cookies when you heard the sparks and the microwave started to smoke.

All of Tony’s gifts, sent through Happy, inevitably, were thinly veiled excuses to try and make up for what happened on Titan. Tony Stark blamed himself for the whole thing, but mostly Peter’s death/disintegration/whatever people were calling it those days. You still don’t know exactly what went down on that planet, but you know enough. You know enough to know it wasn’t Tony’s fault. And though you didn’t share the sentiment, you know it made him feel just a little bit better to take care of Peter’s aunt and his…you.

Hence, the tech and appliances and other things that are supposed to make your lives easier. But really, the only thing that would make your lives easier would be Peter, and that wasn’t something Tony could buy.

“Cross your fingers,” you said. You pulled a knife out of the block on the counter and popped the box open. Prying it open, your gaze landed on a swatch of red and blue fabric. Your hand stilled and the knife clattered onto the table.

“I’ll call you back, May. Am I cooking tonight?” You said, hoping your voice came out even.

May laughed on the other end, luckily not picking up on your tone.

“Funny. I’ll get takeout on my way.” She hung up, and you let out a shaky breath.

You stepped back from the box so you couldn’t see the contents.

Peter’s suit. Not the Iron Spider Tony had created for him: that suit died with him. But the first real suit he had. When he moved away from bright blue sweatpants and a hoodie to the smooth patterned material that solidified his status as a hero. The suit he’d been wearing when you found him, bloody and near death on your balcony.

“No-no-hospital,” the boy pleaded. His words were slurred through the mask, and though you tried to pull it over his face, he refused to let go.

“Whoever you are, I swear, I won't tell. If you bleed out on this fire escape, I’ll figure it out anyways. Now let go,” you said, not an inch of room for him to argue. The boy let out a sigh and leaned back against the brick, peeling the mask off.

Peter Parker.

You took a breath. Went back to the table. Carefully pulled the material out of the box.

Beneath it was a note.

It belongs to the people who loved him the most. - T

You closed your eyes and brought the fabric up to your nose, inhaling. It smelled a little bit like smoke, a little bit like sweat, a lot like Peter. So much like Peter you nearly doubled over at the pang of longing that shot through you. The scent brought on an array of memories, all painful and all full of Peter.

You were starting to understand that you would never get over Peter Parker. You’d never get closure, you’d never get to say goodbye. The same could be said for every single person that had disintegrated, for every single person you’d lost when Thanos snapped his fingers, but something about Peter kept the wound of losing him open and raw. It was like having a cold; you could breathe well enough, but you felt it with every inhale.

We’ve got him.

That was all the text said when it woke you at midnight. It was the one you’d been waiting for since Tony made it back to earth and promised that Peter would, they all would, too. You didn’t believe him then, and you still didn’t, not as you ran out to your car, not as you drove the short distance to headquarters, not even as you sprinted up the stairs leading to the top floor of the building.

You’d only been three times since Thanos, after Tony came back and reached out to May and you. But then, it was only to get some things of Peter’s Tony had that May wouldn’t come to get, as she hadn’t spoken a word to Tony since the minute he told her what happened.

“We have an elevator, you know,” Tony said as you pushed through the doors and into the room. You knew then that it had worked; avengers who’d been missing for two years, sitting around the room. All exhausted, some in varying states of injury, being tended to. But no Peter.

“Too slow. Where is he?”

As if on cue, a door across the room swung open and Peter stepped out, digging his hands into the pockets of a black hoodie that was a few sizes too big. You were struck with how young he looked; somehow, you’d forgotten that while time had passed for you, it hadn’t for him, or any of them. They’d ceased to exist, and when Thanos had been sacrificed, it was like a trading of souls, Thanos and all the lives he’d taken for the ones lost on earth. At least, that was how Tony had explained it. The SparkNotes version.

Your breath caught. He met your gaze, and for a moment, just a moment, he didn’t recognize you. You had gotten older, after all. Changed your hair. Lost everyone you’d ever loved. Little things like that.

And even though you’d spent two years imaging this moment, dreaming of it, practically tasting it, now that he was here, in front of you, it was wrong. You were wrong.

You backed up, scrabbling for the door handle behind you. You just had to get out.

“I-I have to go,” you said, before turning and slipping out and into the hall. Then you were running, heading for the staircase you’d come up. The door slammed behind you and Peter called your name. Something snapped around your wrist, tugging you back. Two years ago, it might have made you laugh. Now, the minute Peter caught you by the shoulders you yanked the web off your wrist and jerked away, stumbling. You caught your balance on the wall, meeting Peter’s gaze.

The hurt on his face was impossible to miss. Shame coiled in your stomach, hot and sharp.

“What’s going on? Are you alright? Your hair-“

“I’ll explain later. We should get home, Peter. May’s waiting,” you interrupted. You’d called her frantically on the drive, telling her to come home the second her night shift ended. If you were lucky, she’d be waiting, and you could put off this conversation for a little while longer. Even better, May could give him the bad news: he’d missed two years, and he wouldn’t get them back.

The words caught his attention and pulled it away from the very subject you wanted to avoid.

“May? God, she’s going to kill me. I didn’t even tell her I was leaving. I don’t even know how long I was gone.”

“You didn’t tell anyone,” you said darkly, turning and walking away to avoid seeing your words hit him.

“I didn’t have a choice. I had to go after Thanos-“ he caught up to you as you reached the bottom of the staircase and pushed out the doors into the darkness.

“You didn’t have to do anything.”

He touched your arm and you looked at him instinctively, before you could stop yourself. God, he looked young.

“What are saying? Of course, I did.”

Nights spent curled in May’s arms, tears staining your cheeks, flickered behind your eyes. You wondered if they’d have happened if Peter hadn’t climbed out the window of that bus, all that time ago.

You kept walking. Peter jogged to catch up. When you got to the car, Peter almost walked right past it. It wasn’t the one you’d had back then. So many things were different; maybe too many.

“When did you get a new car?”

“It’s from Happy. Shittiest model we could convince them to give us,” you said. He tried to ask questions all the way back to the city. But each time you told him later, or I don’t know, or could you please be quiet my head hurts, which all really meant, please stop talking or ill cry. And he saw through it, because he was Peter, but he didn’t push it, also because he was Peter. He’d been through a lot in the last day. No one had had the time to sit down and explain all this to him. To any of the returned Avengers. The world was too busy scrambling around the reappearance of 3.5 billion people.

And when you got back to the apartment, you were able to slip off as he and May reunited. You went out under the guise of running errands and stayed out well past dark, well past the time May texted to tell you goodnight, your cue to come back. By the time you reached the apartment, both their doors were shut, and you dropped onto the couch, drifting off to the sounds of the city out the window.

The nightmare ripped you from sleep and you jerked to a sitting position, gasping for air. The apartment was dark around you, thick and heavy with the night. A glance at your phone told you it was nearly 4 AM.

Your gaze strayed to Peter’s closed door. You’d overtaken the room a long time ago when you’d unofficially moved in, but had quickly cleared your things away while May and Peter reunited before escaping the apartment.

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you pulled the blanket off your legs and climbed to your feet. You made your way to Peter’s door, stopping in front of it. You took a breath before turning the knob. You stepped into the moonlit room-Peter’s window was wide open-and your gaze landed on the sleeping boy in the bed. His eyes snapped open when you pushed the door shut. He sat up and you stopped, like a deer in headlights.

He looked the same as the day you’d lost him. He’d just turned 18 when Thanos came to Earth; he hadn’t even gotten to graduate. Not that you technically had, either. School didn’t come back into session in New York City until 5 months ago, when you’d gone back to a school with a quarter of the people and walked the halls of a ghost town for three months. There had been no ceremony; there were too few names and too few parents. You’d been given a diploma.

The few colleges that remained open had open enrollment so you’d signed up for classes beginning in November.

You just turned 20. The few months you had on Peter turned into years. Years. Two of them. Spent mourning with May; mourning your family, most of your friends, and of course, Peter. Always Peter.

It was almost worse, the disappearing. With your family, dying in the initial attack on the city, there was nothing to hope for. But the people that disappeared left ashes behind, and with them, hope that no one could manage to sweep off the streets.

Somehow, he was still your Peter. Hair mussed up and a bit too long, lips pulled into an ever-present line, heart pulsing on his sleeve. The one you saw in your dreams, the one that hadn’t been broken or lost. It didn’t seem possible that he was standing there, whole.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. I just wanted-I was checking.” Checking to see if you’re still there. He scanned your face, still a little drowsy with sleep.

“You’re older.” He said, something incredibly sad bleeding into his voice.

Your brows pulled together, heart twinging.

“Two years will do that,” you said. The reality was, it took time for the surviving Avengers to scrabble some semblance of a team together. It took time to figure out how to bring everyone back and maintain the timeline and kill Thanos all at once.

You wished you could say it had been minutes or hours or days. You wished you could say it had been quick and painless.

But it hadn’t been. Peter’s disappearance had ripped you to pieces. Your family’s deaths had ripped you to pieces. You’d mourned them and missed them and moved on, and your family would never be coming back, but Peter was here, and you didn’t know what to do with that or how to feel about it. You wanted to close the distance between you and climb into bed and wrap him in your arms and hold him to make up for two years of hurting.

But you didn’t know if you still had the right to. Though no time had passed for Peter, time had passed for you. You were different. Would Peter want the You you were now?

“I’m not the same. It was bad for a while. I had to be a bad person. I might still be a bad person,” you said.

Peter shook his head.

“That’s not true.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I know you.”

“Peter.”

“You found a bleeding vigilante on your balcony, stitched me up, and didn’t ask any questions. You saved my life. A good person wouldn’t do that. Nothing that happened in the last two years changes that.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Then make me understand.”

You let out a breath, pinching the bridge of your nose. Pressure was building behind your skull, pounding its fists and making your headache. You couldn’t explain the time he’d missed.

You reached back for the doorknob, a beat away from turning to leave when Peter said, “Wait.” It came out a little frantic, a little panicked. You clenched your teeth.

“This was a bad idea. I’m sorry.” You said.

“Wait,” he said again. You blinked and he was off the bed, another blink and he was in front of you.

“Did I do something? Because I’m sorry if-“

“What?”

“I said, I’m sorry if-”

“You didn’t do anything. This-none of this is your fault.”

Peter looked miserable, shaking his head.

“Just talk to me. Please,” he said quietly.

Your lips parted. A flood was swelling behind your teeth, and you knew you should just let it out, tell him why you’d been pushing him away, why you were the way you were now.

“Do you remember when I used to sneak up the fire escape? And sneak out before May woke up?” You asked softly. Peter’s lips pulled thin, something sad in his eyes.

He didn’t deserve all this. He didn’t deserve the wall you’d put up against him. For him, the time had passed in a blink. But there were so many skeletons in your closet, pushing their fingers through the cracks. Peter had been through enough. And maybe you were too broken now.

“Of course. You had to hide under the bed one time,” he said. You resisted the urge to smile. Memory lane was not the road you should be taking.

“She always knew. But she let me keep doing it because she knew we weren’t doing anything. She didn’t know that I was usually tending your wounds.”

“We were spooning at most.”

You laughed, and it unlocked something in your chest.

“I used to spend hours watching videos and looking at pictures. It was all I had left of anyone. It was all I had left of you,” you said.

“I didn’t even know May was alive. I came-I came to your apartment because I was alone and hungry and I knew May had that disposable camera with the pictures from Prom and I just-“ you slammed to a stop, shutting your mouth.

“You were gone a long time. Everyone-everyone was gone. My parents were dead. I was on my own for months. The things I did to survive-“

You clamped your mouth shut. Peter frowned, waiting for you to finish.

“I’m not the person I was. The person you knew. The person you lo-“ you stopped before the word loved slipped out. You hadn’t used it in a long time.

“I know who you are. Okay? I’ve always known,” Peter said. You bit your lip. You wanted to argue with him, to tell him about the people you’d let starve so you could eat, the things you stole from people who surely died after. But you didn’t want him to look at you the way he would inevitably look at you. You wanted more time.

He was standing there, exactly the same as the day you lost him. But you’d watched your bridges burn and then you burned what was left, because you had to, because that was what became of the world.

It wasn’t fair to him. It wasn’t fair to you. None of this was fair to anyone.

“You look different. So does May. There’s this gap of time that I can’t see or fill or fix,“ his brows furrow, confusion dotting his features.

“I’m so sorry for leaving you. I’m sorry for everything that happened and everything you had to do because I was gone.”

Your heart broke in half.

“You wouldn’t be you if you hadn’t gone,” you said, softening.

You stepped closer, reaching up to cup his face with a hand. He leaned into your touch with a sad, boyish smile that made your chest ache.

You let your hand drop to the place where the fabric of his shirt fell down over his collarbone, fingers brushing against his skin. He stilled beneath your touch.

You let out the breath you’d been holding since the day Thanos snapped his finger.

Peter placed his hand on top of yours, gripping your fingers with fierce intensity. It was like he could feel the last two years on your skin. He could feel the nights you’d woken screaming his name, May running to console you, holding your shaking body still, telling you over and over that Peter isn’t here, she’s so sorry, Peter isn’t here.

“I don’t care about anything you did. I don’t care about any of it. You’re here, you’re alive, and that's all that matters. May said-she told me what it was like. How many people died. So, whatever you had to do to stay alive, I don’t care. It’s better than the alternative,” he said.

You closed your eyes.

“I think maybe we were the lucky ones.”

Opened them.

“We got to escape all that. For a while.”

“Nice little vacation.”

He snorted. The familiar pieces fell back into place, just a few of them. He bent his head down to your shoulder, breath warming your skin through the fabric of your shirt. His nose skimmed up your throat, along your jaw, stopping at your ear.

He whispered, “Stay.”

You said yes, even though you probably shouldn’t have, even though it was probably stupid, even though there were so many things to deal with and talk about. But right then, you just wanted to go back. Back to a world where every bridge was still intact and every stone was rightly turned. Just for a little while.

And so you both curled beneath the covers, tucked together under a swath of darkness, limbs tangled together. Just like it was. Just like it could be, again.

#its finals week arent u glad i spent time on this and not my journalism story :)#go me :)#brooke writes fic #ALSO I LOVE ANGST ITS MY DRUG #peter parker #peter parker au #peter parker fic #peter parker x reader #reader x peter parker #spiderman #far from home #avengers #a4 #how many more tags can i possibly put #spider man: homecoming #spider man: far from home #spider man: hoco #avengers: infinity war #infinity war

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semperturbida · 6 years

Text

Peter

CONTAINS INFINITY WAR SPOILERS!! IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE, PLEASE DO NOT READ

Now, with that out of the way, let me explain something before you continue reading this. After watching the movie, I was devastated. But because I’m a self-destructive bitch who likes to make herself cry, I decided I needed to write something that captured how I felt about Peter Parker’s death. Since I hadn’t found any imagines or one shots that really wrenched my heart out of my chest while putting the reader in that scene, I wrote it myself. I cried while writing this and then cried again once I read it again. I would recommend listening to the saddest song you can think of while reading this, that is, if you also want to ugly cry.

Anyway...enjoy........?

It was so quick. Thanos was gone and there was a moment of stillness when everyone just looked at nothing and everything at once.

You didn't know what was happening, but a terrible feeling welled up in your stomach.

You looked to Peter and he looked back at you. You could tell he was just as confused as you, years of friendship and several months of crime fighting together had made silent communication through just looks your specialty. But something was different this time. This time, Peter didn't look like he was trying to develop a plan.

Then the gravity turned off and suddenly you were airborne with no way to control how to get down, where you went, or what you ran into - or rather, what ran into you. Within seconds, you felt webs wrap around your arms and waist and pull you to Peter's side.

"I got you," his usual, assuring voice made your chest light. And though you couldn't see his face through his cool,new mask, you could tell he was grinning under there. It made you smile too.

"Didn't doubt you for a seco- oh my god, Peter!" You indicated toward your other teammates who were floating toward some flying rock.

"Right- I got it!"

After Peter got everyone safely back on the ground, you all just looked at each other for a moment. Then-

"Something's happening," the alien, who you didn't know was called Mantis until much later, voiced your thoughts before she just disappeared. Her body turned to ash and floated into the wind, leaving an empty space. It was like she'd never even existed. You were frozen still, speechless. You couldn't believe what you'd just seen. She couldn't just be gone... could she?

Everything after that happened so fast. Drax disappeared and then Star Lord. You, Peter, Mr. Stark, and the Doctor could only watch helplessly as the rest of your companions fell to nothing before your eyes. After Quill disappeared, Tony turned to the Doctor for some king of answer. After all, he'd seen the over 14 million different outcomes of this situation and would know why this had to happen. You and Peter followed Mr. Stark's lead, also seeking answers, but the moment you laid eyes on the Doctor you knew that you would never get them.

"There was no other way," his voice carried over to you but you had trouble comprehending. And with one final pained breath, he disappeared too. How could this possibly be the way they would defeat Thanos?

"Mr. Stark? I don't feel so good."

Peter's troubled voice made you turn immediately. His face was scrunched in confusion and pain, and his hands hung in the air in front of him, unsure of what to do.

"Peter," you could barely get his name out above a whisper, your shock and sudden grief was so overwhelming. Not him, it couldn't be him.

"You're alright-" Mr. Stark stepped forward a bit-

"(Y/N), I don't know what's happening- I don't-"

You couldn't help but watch in frozen silence as he stumbled forward, you were still too stunned to really move, but when he collapsed into Tony's arms, something in you snapped and you rushed forward. You were at Mr. Stark's side, grasping onto Peter's elbow and trying to think of anything you could do to do to stop this.

"I don't wanna go- I don't wanna go," his terrified voice cracked as he clung to Mr. Stark, desperate to stay. You could feel your heart breaking a million different ways but you couldn't make yourself say anything. Peter, Peter, Peter- it was all you could think of. Your mind filled with him and only him; he was all that mattered. The sudden grief had stunned you, and you hadn't really come to terms with what was happening. It was like you were watching your life happen from the sidelines, unable to stop any of it. You were completely and utterly helpless and the desperation rose in your chest like a panic.

Peter lifted his head just enough so he could look at you over Mr. Stark's shoulder. You made eye contact and he looked so scared, you opened your mouth to say something, anything, but you couldn't get a word out. You shook your head, tears coming to your eyes. I don't want this to happen to you, this shouldn't happen to you. Your grief was too thick in your throat. So you moved your hand to rest on his forearm instead, anything to do something.

"Sir, please- please, I don't wanna go, I don't want go," his eyes filled with tears and he couldn't look at you anymore. He turned his head into Mr. Stark's shoulder and -you didn't know it was possible- but the gap in your heart widened and the pain in your chest sharpened. This couldn't be happening. He had to stay- you couldn't picture a world without him in it- if he wasn't there-

Then his breath hitched in his throat and Mr. Stark eased him to the ground as best as he could. Peter's eyes found yours again. This time, the pain was gone from them and in it's place was a look so indescribably heartbreaking that it brought you to your knees with them.

"Peter, no- please don't go- please, please don't go," the words tumbled out of your mouth in a desperate plea, the emotion making your voice higher. Overwhelming grief made it impossible to hold any tears back. You grabbed his hand and squeezed. Weakly, he squeezed back.

"I'm sorry," he said to Mr. Stark. His voice was so quiet, so small. Nothing like your Peter.

He looked at you again and you felt it. He was about to- he was going to-

"Oh my god, Peter- please stay- please, please stay..." you shook your head because this couldn't be happening. It wasn't supposed to end like this. You were both supposed to get out alive, go back to Queens and have a sandwich at Mr. Delmar's store and laugh about it all after it was done.

I love you, he mouthed the words because he could no longer get them out. You shook your head- no, no, no, no, no- His hand drifted out of yours like there was nothing there to begin with. Your mouth opened from the stun of the empty space, and again your grief choked you so you could not speak. Then, just like that, he was gone.

A breath.

You let out a mournful, shocked cry and dug your hands into the ground where he had just been. "He's gone... Mr. Stark, he's gone," you turned your tear filled eyes to the man beside you and he just looked up to the sky, the pain and stunned, grief-stricken disbelief written all over his face. Tears silently fell from his eyes and down his cheeks

You couldn't be silent.

"How can this be the only way to stop Thanos?" you raised your voice to anyone, anything that would listen, "How does this give us the upper hand? Nothing is worth this!"

Tony didn't say anything. He just looked at the sky, the direction that Peter...

"He was innocent! All he ever wanted to do was help people- he saved us all and now- now he's- he's just gone-" rage filled your bones with grief-stricken fire until your breath couldn't come fast enough. You were going to burst.

Mr. Stark looked back down at his hands, "(Y/N), I..."

Looking at Mr. Stark, seeing him so utterly destroyed, the rage in you quickly deflated. You knew it wasn't what Peter would want. Oh God... Peter.

"We were supposed to go home..." your voice fell and you could only look at Mr. Stark, the only person who could understand the pain you were feeling in that moment, "I loved him and we were supposed to go home..."

Mr. Stark reached out his arm to you and you collapsed into his side, letting your grief consume you, and not really caring if you ever came out again. How could any of this -saving the world- be worth it if Peter wouldn't be there?

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