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#??????? how do you enable me into writing anything longer than two sentences ???????
blackrevell · 2 months
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Guess who's back! Still some questions unanswered. 8, 9, 35 and 43 if you like!
At this point, I'm worried about you, climbing these walls with so much courage. Thank you so much for enabling! <3
8. How open they are about their true feelings, both positive and negative?
Highly depends on what the context is and who she is with. If it's business matters, she has no hesitation in expressing her thoughts and feelings. If the plan is stupid, the other party will know at once. If the plan is good — they will know too.
If it's a personal matter, she has to rely on her partner to put effort into decoding her feelings to a certain degree. Her upbringing wired her to shove feelings under the rug in favor of pragmatism. It brought certain benefits — she is diligent, capable and reliable at work, doesn't complain about difficulty. Yet this stoicism had its price — sometimes she herself doesn't know what she feels exactly, and whether it is important enough to be brought up at all.
Both of her relationships were a challenge and a learning experience, as you can't keep love alive if you treat it with the mindset of a warehouse manager. Love, among other things, is built on emotional dedication; and although she might never learn to "understand" her feelings, she had to learn how to trust herself with being open about them.
9. What is their love language?
Love Language Number 1: being open-minded and having a kink for infodumping. Give her all the brain stimulation, show that you're not intellectually stuck in the same box, tell her about the things that happened to you throughout the day. And essentially — let her be the first person you want to share it all with. Alt loves listening to Kurt's stories about his many travels, while Kurt finds joy in telling them to someone who actually cares about it all: the friend-foe dealings with Siberians, the sunny Balkans with its unique music, the stupidity of Militech corps and many more (Rosie could never).
Language Number Also 1: physical touch. After all the abuse she had to go through in her childhood, being touched with love and genuine affection matters a lot. A long embrace is one of the keys to making her feel safe and loved. Holding hands is like winning a lottery. All that is reserved for friends and partners, though; strangers should keep their hands to themselves. As for giving love, she is a person of deeds: share your troubles with her, and she will find a solution. Wants to ensure the significant people in her life are in good health and mind, protected and thriving (even if you're a betrayed warlord with a destroyed city district and a bunch of clowns with guns)
35. Do they like their own appearance, and what do they do, if anything, to alter it in any way?
When it comes to clothing, she wears what she wants, and is content with her choices. Mostly casual-styled clothing with a bit of roughness thrown in: leather accessories, angular shapes, maybe some small metallic details. Isn't afraid of the scars on her arm, neck and face; wears sleeveless tops freely. When Alt was a child, she suffered physical abuse from her father and had to cover the bruises with clothes, which earned her "Longsleeves" nickname from her classmates. By 2070, the scars and bruises she gets are the results of her actions and choices, and she isn't afraid of that.
When it comes to face and body, she doesn't consider herself a top looker, but she isn't negative or pessimistic about it. "Could be a bit better here and there, but whatever I have is fine". Flaunts whatever she's got and doesn't ponder over it much, frankly.
43. Do they enjoy flirting or being flirted with?
She doesn't care much about it. Years of working at a bar brought her the experience of hearing 1000 & 1 way to say "hey, pretty lady, isn't it a lonely evening?", so her perception of flirts has been dulled. As for being the one flirting — she'd rather learn more about the person and make genuine compliments.
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cashmoneyyysstuff · 4 months
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I don’t know if This is the place where people make requests but I was thinking Katsuki and y/n have been friends since childhood but as they grow up Katsuki takes the hero path and y/n chooses the villain path it’s like the 2nd year of UA Katsuki knows y/n is a villain and keeps it a secret she’s also in the class. I don’t know how much I’m aloud to ask but hiiii and if this gets picked thank you
ouuuu this is such an interesting request ! i luv me some angst once in a while ! this is also probably the angstiest fic ive written rn lmfaoo ! i tried to honour your request as best i could and i hope you like it ! (also yall keep enabling my katsuki friends to lovers addiction its not me its yall sooo🤥..) also here, reader’s family is part of a crime syndicate sorta like the chie hassaikai !
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fem reader, blood n injuries, kinda angsty but i cant bring myself to fully write angst so take the bittersweetness <33 katsuki claims he hates reader but he doesn’t, reader has a sorta traumatic backstory but if u squint HARD, reader feels guilty, slight miscommunication trope, lemme know if i missed something !
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"how long are you gonna keep doing this ?"
you're rolling up your bloody sleeves when you hear the question you'd been expecting fall from your best friends lips.
"what do you mean ?" you're playing dumb, you know it. and unfortunately, katsuki knows it too.
he narrows his eyes at you, you ignore him "don't give me that shit." he all but growls at you "how many more times are you gonna come to me all fucked up like this ?" you'd expected him to be louder, but you blame that on the fact it’s so late. angrier isn't the term you're looking for, you've known him long enough to know he's trying to hold back his anger. for you. you feel your stomach twisting at the thought.
"as long as you'll have me" you jest, smiling at him. you never took anything seriously. from the time you were kids until now, katsuki hates that about you. "you'll keep taking care of me, won't you suki ?"
you're spoiled, you think everything is a fuckin' joke. katsuki hates that about you.
he huffs, grabbing your outstrechted bruised and bloodied arm "i won't if you keep wakin' me up so late. we've got school tomorrow, you dumbass." his actions are softer than his words, like they always are. he cleans at your injuries with the med kit he has stashed away in his room for emergencies, emergencies being you. you snort and katsuki can barely cover the smirk growing on his face at the sound.
"you're such a goody two shoes." you sigh playfully, but your tone is more loving than playful like you'd hoped.
you'd been hiding your lifestyle from kastuki until you no longer could. coming to him one night heavily injured because you thought he was the only one you could come to, a decision you regret to this day, even as you sit here in his bedroom again.
you'd never meant to get him involved in your mess. katsuki, who's future was so promising. katsuki, who since the ripe age of 5 with starry eyes and bandaged cheeks proclaimed he would be the best. katsuki, who had wanted you to be together when that moment came.
but you had to ruin it. and you're sure that even as he sits there with you and cleans up your wounds, a part of him hates you for it. you don't blame him, how could you ?
you ruined everything. you always do—
you feel a finger flick against your forehead and when you focus again katsuki's eyes bore into yours.
"don't go zoning out on me, idiot. don't go falling asleep on me either. 'f i can't sleep, neither can you." you huff out a laugh at his petulant demand. you hum as he bandages your arm up carefully. " i think i can do that." you sigh.
"i wasn't asking." he retorts, looking up at you seriously "don't go knocking out on me."
you're left speechless at his words. because despite what he says, you know what he means. you've known katsuki for too long not to.
it’s stupid that such a simple sentence has you blinking rapidly, sniffling away the tears forming in your lash line. katsuki sighs. even when you tried acting tough, you’ve always been such a crybaby.
neither of you say a word as he finishes bandaging up your wounds. he insists on rewrapping up your hand and your heart squeezes because you know he’s stalling and it would be time for you to go soon.
it’s for the better, you think. despite your heart tying itself in knots, you won’t allow katsuki to get caught up in them.
he finishes and no words are exchanged. he stares at you, pleading for something you’re not quite sure about, or at least that’s what you tell yourself (you’ve known him way too long not to know what he wants). you avoid his gaze, your eyes growing misty again when you hear him sigh in defeat before he gets up from his bed and leaves the room.
while you’re throwing your jacket on and tugging your dirty boots back on (katsuki was a stickler about keeping his room clean) you can’t help but look around his room. it makes you giggle how he hadn’t really changed that much at all.
he’s thrown out most of his action figures but it seems he just couldn’t separate himself from the all might one’s. he’s still got the all might poster, his pride and joy that he never stopped showing off when you were kids. and then you see something on the shelf where he keeps all his manga.
katsuki walks back into the room and his shoulders visibly sag when he sees you ready to go. you don’t see it though, you’re focused on something on his shelf, he raises a brow.
before he can ask you anything though, you turn to him with a sly little grin, the grin he knows you have when you’re about to say some dumb shit. he hates that about you.
you’ve got a small rubber band looking thing pinched around your finger and katsuki feels his stomach drop.
"you still have this ? " you twirl the braided friendship bracelet you’d made for him when you were kids around your thumb and index finger, giggling when you see katsuki’s expression morph from curiosity to embarrassment. faster than you could blink, he’s already stomping over to you. he wobbles around a little on his bed to reach over your shoulder to snatch the bracelet back.
“don’t go snooping through my stuff !” his fingers are inches away from the bracelet when you switch it over to your other hand. a struggle breaks out where you push and shove at each other. you end up underneath him with him trying to open up your hand tightly clutching onto your bracelet.
“s’not snooping—if it’s just sitting out in the open !” you giggle. he finally manages to snatch his bracelet out of your death grip with a huff and a pinch at your thigh. you don’t miss the way he inspects it carefully before deciding it was unharmed and placing it right back where you’d found it. your heart squeezes despite yourself.
“either way, don’t go puttin’ yer dirty paws on my stuff. you’ll get your germs on them.” he snickers childishly. you’re just as if not more childish because you blow a raspberry at him. katsuki squishes your cheeks out with his hand in response.
you realize you feel a little too comfy, then realize you’re laying in katsuki’s bed and suddenly spring up to try and leave but a hand pushes at your chest, stopping you from doing so. “where the hell do you think you’re goin’, huh ?”
“home ?”
“don’t think so.” he utters simply, pushing you down onto his bed harshly “you’re not going anywhere.”
“katsu—“
“shut up. none of that bullshit you spout all the time” he leans down until your noses almost brush against each other, you inhaling sharply and katsuki grips the sheets next to your head “ if you get yourself in trouble again, i’m the one you’re gonna come bother and i’m trynna sleep. you’re staying.”
the asshole knows exactly what to say to make you feel bad, even if he doesn’t mean to. so you swallow the lump in your throat and concede “okay, fine” you nod “but i gotta leave super early, so don’t be surprised to see me gone when you wake up.”
“s’less trouble for me if you are.” he quips. he’s mean, he’s always been mean. yet his eyes tell a different story. there he goes again with those pleading eyes. the ones that make you want to spill your entire heart and more, to give your life and soul to him. you turn your face away from him.
“stop that.” he whispers, nosing at your neck, your heartbeat picks up and his does too.
“stop what ?” you're playing dumb, you know it. and unfortunately, katsuki knows it too.
“stop trying to act all hard. you know i won’t fall for that shit. those other extra’s might, but i won’t.” he’s awfully quiet. it almost gives you whiplash how he’d went from wrestling you to doing..whatever this was. you don’t mind, despite yourself. “known you too fuckin’ long, unfortunately.”
“yeah” you choke out “yeah, unfortunately.” you feel tears burning in your eyes but you refuse to let them fall, that’d be unfair. you’re not allowed to be upset over something you’d caused.
“for fucks sake’s, yn” katsuki goes from gripping his sheets to gripping your wrists, you close your eyes. “ just—fuckin’—“
“i’m sorry.” you whimper, he pauses.
“i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have come tonight, or any other night” you sniffle “i should’ve—you should’ve forgotten about me.”
you’re babbling, you always do when you get in your own head. when you refuse to tell him what’s bothering you, determined to do everything yourself, katsuki hates that about you. though it’s something he can’t really get too angry at you for, cus he does it too.
you’re babbling and you’re crying like you always do because you’re a crybaby despite acting like you’re not, and katsuki hates that about you. that’s why he sighs and flips you both over so you’re laying on top of him. immediately despite your better judgment, despite claiming he should’ve forgotten you, you cling to him like he’ll disappear if you don’t.
you’re clingy. you’ve always clung to him. you’re annoying, spoiled and bratty. you make dumb jokes and you never take anything seriously and you cry easily and katsuki tells himself he hates all of that about you.
because it’s easier to say than admit he’s hopelessly in love with you.
he doesn’t care about waking up late to treat your wounds, he’d stay up all night even if it meant fucking up his sleep schedule just to take care of you. he’d give everything he has just to hear you giggle at your own stupid jokes and he’d offer up every limited edition all might figure he has just to stay here and bicker with you over nothing. he’d always comfort you cus you cry easily and he wants to breathe the same air you do constantly, he’d swallow you whole and keep you safe right next to his heart if he could.
you’re clingy, annoying, spoiled and bratty and all of the above but katsuki would do absolutely anything for you.
so he comforts you as you lay crying into his chest. apologizing about something he has no idea about. he’ll ask and he knows you won’t answer him, but he doesn’t care. as long as you’re here.
you fall asleep soon after and you’re still clutching onto him. he reciprocates by holding onto you just as tightly, hoping it keeps you safe as you dream. it’s a stupid thought, he thinks. but it seems you’ve gone and wiped your germs onto his heart.
“you drive me fuckin’ crazy.” he whispers into the air. you’re still wrapped up snuggly in his embrace and his black sheets. in his room where you’d spent the majority of your childhood together. until you came to him with a snotty nose and big wet eyes and told him you weren’t allowed to come play at his house anymore.
fate must think it’s so fucking funny, because despite you not coming over anymore you’d ended up going to the same school every year afterwards, even now ending up in the same class. and with you sneaking into his room almost every night to have him clean up your injuries.
he knows you’ll be gone in the morning, somehow untangling yourself from his snake like grip. with tired eyes and some treat from that coffee shop you know he likes, your stupid way of apologizing to him. katsuki wants to tell you you don’t have to do that because he’d forgive any crime you commit. he’ll turn a blind eye to whatever you do even though he’s studying to do the exact opposite because it’s you and he loves you. but you’ll get in your own head and start assuming stuff. so he accepts your chocolate covered croissants and splits both with you.
you must’ve hit your head extra hard during your late night excursion to think katsuki would ever forget about you. you’re stupid that’s for sure, and katsuki wants to say he hates that about you. but that’d make him stupid too.
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catboyantichrist · 3 years
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Hi there! Can you please do relationship headcanons of a gender neutral MC with autism and ADHD dating the seven brothers? I’d love to see more positive writing of a neurodivergent MC and how each of the brothers would love and respect them regardless of their disabilities. Feel free to do this if you want to. If not, that’s ok! Have a great day! 😁👍🌷🌹🌺🌸🌼🌻🌷🌹🌻🌼🌸🌺
This ask literally made me squeal- my neurodivergent ass is gonna have way too much fun with this- LMAO Just a warning, I'm basing this mainly off of my personal experiences (I have ADHD and am possibly getting tested for atypical autism in the future.). Ill try to be as broad as possible but I'd just like to give a heads up.
Just know that if you don't relate to this post or something in it, that doesn't mean you aren't valid! Everyone experiences neurodivergencey differently ^^
☆The Brothers Dating A GN!MC With Autism & ADHD☆
Day-to-day life has always been a struggle. As it feels like no human truly understands why you function the way you do. From bosses, to teachers, to neurotypical friends. Life can feel draining and like a chore when you're living in a world that doesn't function the way you do.
Then your world literally changes. You're in the devildom now. Most people would be terrified that they're living in a house full of demons. But you weren't. You felt like you finally belonged, and eventually you finally found love. Something that people assumed you'd never be able to find. Well jokes on them because your lover treats you with so much respect and kindness, and of course you do the same. This is some of what your lover does that just makes your heart spin:
Lucifer:
-Much to your dismay, before Lucifer started to get to know you he was similar to the humans you've encountered in the past. This doesn't last long though as one of the brothers (most likely Leviathan or Mammon) try to explain. He begins to go a bit easier on you, and also falls for you.
-When you guys start dating, he makes it his goal to help make your day-to-day life easier. Dare I say, he takes pride in it. (Hahahah aren't I funny?)
-He notices how you need a schedule to function, but how much you hate schedules. So with your permission, he makes a loose schedule and follows it WITH you. It simultaneously helps you function more than usual, and it helps Lucifer take breaks when he needs to.
-You two begin to do everything together, as doing stuff together and holding each other accountable is a lot easier than doing it alone
-If someone ever dares to make a rude comment about you Lucifer will um... "take care of them".
-If you ever get overstimulated from the environment you're in, Lucifer keeps his office wide open as a quiet place for you. He keeps a weighted blanket, some headphones and any stim toys you usually use in a corner of his office. If you're not comfortable with them out in the open he'll keep them in a special box somewhere in his office that others can't get into.
Mammon:
-Executive Dysfunction gang! The both of you are relieved that you understand each other and some dumbass wont just go "jUsT gEt Up aNd dO iT!"
-If you guys are struggling with it at different times, you'll try to help each other do small tasks that require very limited effort so that one of you don't get overwhelmed and stressed out. If its a particularly difficult day, you'll just stay there to support the other if they want that.
-If both of you are struggling that day, you do nothing ✨together✨ and just vibe with each others company.
-This man brings you shiny things. They don't even have to be worth anything, they're just shiny. You proceed to do the same. You two now have a designated spot for shiny things you bring each other. If you have an interest in art, you and him will probably end up using the shiny objects as art projects.
-A LOT of impulse shopping. You guys enable each other. Although you quickly realize that you impulse shop for each other. Every second day you end up bringing each other gifts and laughing about it after.
Leviathan:
-Y'know that arm thing two neurodivergent people do when they find out that the other person is neurodivergent? Yeah you two did that. And still continue to do that. It's your greeting now.
-You two spend tons of time either cuddling and talking about your special interests together, or both of you are pacing around Levi's room talking about your special interests together.
-And if you end up having the same special interest?? Oh man the serotonin you two both get just being AROUND each other.
-If you have a hard time around tons of people (in general or just at certain times) he's more than willing to share his room with you and for you two to do online school together. I mean hey, doing school by yourself online is difficult. (Even if it's more comfortable for you both)
-Will he get you a matching pair of noise cancelling headphones if you have auditory sensory issues, or if you just like the pressure on your head. (I don't know if that's a neurodivergent thing but I will wear my headphones just so that I feel some sort of pressure on my head)
-You both communicate what you need, and whether you need alone time or not. Making sure not to trigger any form of rejection sensitivity dysphoria for eachother.
Satan:
-If you were one of those neurodivergent kids that spent all of their time in the library, going through books like wildfire in middle school, get ready for that to be reignited.
-You two will read together all the time, and if you're having a day where you're more fidgety and don't wanna stay still, Satan is more than happy reading to you while you pace around.
-Satan has a natural curiosity, and loves to learn about anything that he doesn't already know about. So if you have a special interest about your own neurodivergency, he is more than happy to listen to you ramble about your life experiences and symptoms.
-Honestly, it doesn't even have to be about neurodivergency, Satan is happy to listen and learn about anything you're interested currently.
-If you aren't big on physical affection from humans or, well... humanoid people, that's perfectly fine! That's what animals are for! He'll take you to a cat cafe and will enjoy spending time with the animals with you.
-Similar to Lucifer, if anyone makes a comment about the way you act, they wont live to see another day. Unlike Lucifer, the demons who say these comments don't even finish their sentence. They're dead before MC blinks.
Asmodeus:
-When Asmodeus finds out that you have sensory issues that affect what you wear, he decides to hand-make clothes with fabrics of your choice. He has no issue with you prioritizing comfort over appearance, but if you want to put effort into your appearance and texture is stopping you, he's more than happy to design some stuff for you.
-Asmodeus has always been a touchy person, but if you aren't comfortable with that he'd never force you to cuddle. If you are interested in physical affection one of his favourite things to do is put makeup on your face, or just touch your face.
-Speaking of which, if you ever impulsively cut your hair whether it be from breakdown, normal impulsivity, or sensory issues with your hair being longer. He'll always help you cut your hair. He wants to make sure that once you cut it, you wont regret it the next day.
-Depending on whether you like going outside or not (or if its depending on the day) he's more than happy to take you to the fall! He'll make sure you're always comfortable and if you need the attention diverted from you if you need a break!
-If you don't like going outside, Asmo will dedicate certain nights for just you two to hang out. He can always energy match you. Hyperactive? Oh he's right there with you bouncing of the walls. Calmer? He doesn't mind just vibing with you. Comfort? Oh you've come to the right guy.
-Asmodeus is very emotionally intelligent, it may have originally been for the wrong purposes (charming others) but now he can use it to help you work through issues with socializing with others, past traumas from other people, he'll always do his best to support you as long as you'd do the same for him!
Beelzebub:
-Beel is always well meaning, but whether you're neurodivergent or neurotypical, communication is key with him. So, if you're unintentionally blunt to neurotypical people, that's exactly what Beel needs and wants. He knows you don't mean it out of harm, you're just trying to state your boundaries.
-Do you need a weighted blanket? This man will become the weighted blanket. He wants to make sure you're comfortable at all times!
-If you have trouble eating, Beel is here to help. If you take meds for ADHD and they make you lose your appetite, or just general forgetfulness, he'll remind you to have at least some sort of small snack throughout the day. Nothing too filling, just enough so that you aren't running on zero food throughout the day.
-All the go-to and comfort foods that you had in the human world? Beel would make it his MISSION to get them, and TONS of it too. It's the only food in the house he wont eat because he knows how important it is to you. He will tear up a bit if you offer to share though.
-If you're in a hyperactive mood, or anxious, Beel will convince you to do some light exercise with him to help calm you down
Belphegor:
-If you have trouble sleeping, Belphie will definitely try and help. Ranging from cuddling, aroma therapy, getting Beel to do exercise with you. To more magical means (if you're comfortable with it) like sleeping powder.
-If you just have a different internal clock than the average person, that's fine too! It may be permanent but that's okay- Belphie will sleep at any time with you.
-Isn't generally a social person so if you're not that big of a fan of social interaction you don't have to worry. Belphie would even do online school with you!
-He would let you use his pillows and blankets to stim if that's something you're interested in. He'd also listen to you ramble about your interests while doing so! As long as you don't mind him talking about the stars afterwards.
-Definitely the most blunt out of his brothers, so communication wouldn't be an issue between you two. If his bluntness is a bit too harsh for you he'll try to tone it down a bit, but it would probably just end up as him trying to explain the reasoning behind the bluntness and how it's not out of harm.
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nanagoswife · 3 years
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Une Danse d'Amour Inconscient
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A request by @generousrunawaydonut
Summary: You and Obi-Wan are forced to go undercover as a couple and he can no longer hide how he feels.
W/C: 3.3k
Warnings: Mention of alcohol, angst, mainly fluff
A/N: Title translation (from French): A Dance of Unconscious Love
No I didn't use French because I'm Canadian (okay maybe a little because I was forced to learn it). Either way, this was a fun request to write. I may write a different version of this, but I'm not quite sure. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy (sorry if there's some rough areas)
- - -
If he were to say that he wasn’t nervous for the night ahead, he’d be lying. Usually, a mission like this wouldn’t be a problem. He was to go undercover and attend a Republic Senate gathering.
Going under cover wasn’t usually necessary, but there was a life at stake. Your life. Then, there was the way the two of you had to do this.
You were known as one of the most well-spoken senators in the whole of the Republic. It wasn’t a shock with how both you and the senator from Naboo got along. The two of you were a united front on every issue that was addressed.
That was what you were going to do, but you were a target tonight. Obi-Wan had been assigned to protect you during this event with one condition that bothered both of you in different ways. For you, the problem was that you had to be undercover. Sure, your fellow senators will know it’s you, but you needed to not draw attention tonight in your planet’s usual fashion. So, you went to Padmé.
For Obi-Wan, his issue was far different. He had known you for years and the two of you were close friends. There had been many assignments that included him having to protect you. Through these years, though, he grew to care for you more than just a friend. He was hopelessly in love with you.
Every moment with you, he felt like he was going to implode while on the outside he betrayed none of these feelings. He was only able to keep it to himself because there was no way you felt the same about him. At least he convinced himself you didn’t.
What made him nervous for the night was that, just for tonight, you had to act like you were a couple. There was so much about this that Obi-Wan was anxious about. This night could either make or break him, and he was really leaning towards the latter.
Now, he was outside of your door. Well, he was outside of Senator Amidala’s door. Either way, he felt like an idiot as he was dressed in an all black suit. The collar on his black dress shirt was a strange sensation as it rubbed along his neck, only being tightened by the bowtie underneath. He would’ve loosened it if Ahsoka hadn’t chastised him ten times for doing it before he left the temple.
Finally, taking a deep breath and pulling himself together, he knocked on the door. It didn’t take long until the door slid open. His breath hitched when he saw you. If his heart wasn’t racing before, it sure was now.
You were absolutely beautiful in the subtle but oh so elegant lavender Naboo dress. It flowed around you and he never thought you could look even more beautiful than you already were. This was not going to be an easy night for him.
For a moment, he caught a glance of Padmé who tried to hide her chuckle at his reaction. She knew him so well that, even though he hadn’t said anything to her, she knew how he felt about you. Padmé winked before going back to her own process of getting ready.
When your eyes met him, he saw as your eyes went wide. You never saw him in any clothing that wasn’t his robes or cloaks. This was something that shocked you, but there was something that was more appealing. You thought he looked more handsome than you already thought he was. His eyes seemed to be a more vibrant blue that you absolutely adored.
After he watched you survey his, well, disguise, you met his eyes and smiled. “Good evening, Master Kenobi.”
“G-Good evening, Senator Y/L/N.” His words almost caught in his throat when he replied. Where did his composure that he had worked on for so long go? He couldn’t help it as he looked into your stunning eyes.
“Senator Amidala is just finishing up. Would you like to come in for the meantime?”
“Of course.” When you turned around, he took the moment to take a few deep breaths before following. He could do this. Tonight was no different than any other day he’s spent with you. He was here to protect you and make sure that you can do your job without the usual attention from the crowd.
Before he could fully step through the door, Padmé piped up, “Oh there’s no need for you to wait for me. Master Skywalker will be here soon to escort me.”
That sentence would have bothered Obi-Wan had he not felt the way he did about you. How could he tell his padawan not to do something that he was failing to do himself?
Then, he pulled himself together again. He couldn’t let his feelings be known. It was against The Code. They were unrequited. The only love you had for him was one of a friend. One that was platonic. He was sure of it.
With that, he enabled himself to clear his mind from all of this before offering you his arm. You were a friend. A friend that, when you slipped your arm through his, brought a sensation that he wished could be a normality.
When the door had closed and the two of you made your way to the speeder that was waiting, you squeezed his arm and smiled as you looked up.
“You look great, Obi.”
“I could say the same about you, my dear. You should’ve been born on Naboo,” he said in a teasing tone to hide his true meaning.
“Are you ready to be my boyfriend for the night?” you asked with a sweet chuckle. Although he returned it with his own chuckle, his heart was threatening to sink. This was one of many instances that only further backed up his feeling that you thought of him as nothing more than a friend.
“We better start now,” he said before giving in and pressing a kiss to your temple, “in case people are already watching.”
The feeling of his lips on your skin lingered. All you could do was wish that he would do that again and again, making his way until his lips met your own. But that would never happen. He was a Jedi and he wasn’t allowed to have attachments. Besides, you were sure he wouldn’t love you in that way anyways.
Obi-Wan didn’t see the redness fill your cheeks as the two of you reached the speeder. He opened the door for you and helped you step in before closing the door.
The speeder ride over to your destination was filled with your usual conversation. It helped both of you to forget about your feelings for a bit. When you had landed, he once again came around and opened the door for you to step out.
Thanking him, he offered you his arm again. “Shall we begin the charade?”
With a smile that hid the feeling of sadness that flowed through you, you nodded and once again looped your arm through his. It was a comfort you never knew you needed until now.
The walk to the event room was silent as the two of you prepared yourselves. Obi-Wan was now hoping that people wouldn’t be too quick to notice you. This night was about being discreet. Anybody you would talk to tonight would know the situation. The only reason Obi-Wan was acting as your boyfriend tonight was another thing to throw people off. It was a well known fact that you weren’t romantically involved.
Once in the room, he was relieved no one took their usual notice to your arrival.
Leaning close to your ear, letting his lips just graze it, he whispered, “Are you ready?” Although this was just for show, the intimacy made you have to repress the shivers that threatened to go down your spine. Obi-Wan enjoyed the closeness, and pressed a kiss to your cheek before you nodded your affirmation.
With that, the two of you joined the crowd of people that were spread out in the room. It didn’t take long for you to start going to work. There was a new bill that was to be passed in the senate in a few days, and you were making headway. Almost everyone you talked to walked away, promising you their vote.
This only picked up once Padmé joined in not long after. It was an honour for Obi-Wan to see into your process. The majority of the time, to continue playing it up, he had an arm around your waist. He didn’t really listen to anything said, but he did memorize the determined and genuine expression on your face as you and your friend talked to one senator after another.
Eventually, Obi-Wan had to separate from you. He needed a drink, but you were still in a conversation. Anakin was nearby and he told his old master that everything would be alright while he was gone.
So, Obi-Wan was leaning against the bar. There was so much running through his mind, but he couldn’t help but love what tonight has been like. He was showing you how he really felt without you knowing it. If he were being honest, he was surprised that you didn’t question how open he was for showing the moments of affection. Tonight, he felt like the two of you really were a couple and it wasn’t frowned upon. This is what felt natural.
Bringing his glass to his lips, he smiled at the thought. He knew that you didn’t love him like he did you, but, if this was all he could get, he would take it.
“Is being away from me that relieving?” you asked from beside him, slightly startling him at the same time. He was so deep in thought that he hadn’t noticed you even approaching. Yet, he smiled as he met your eyes.
“On the contrary, my dear. I was relishing in the thought of your many victories of the night.”
He raised his eyebrows playfully and you couldn’t help but chuckle. The sound was always music to his ears. There was no sound more wonderful and comforting.
“Speaking of which, did you manage to snag another one?”
Your smile slightly faded as you looked down. “Unfortunately, no. No matter how much I tried to make him see from multiple points of views, he was too rooted in his own.”
“I’m sorry, darling.” The endearment made your smile reappear.
“Either way, we have plenty of votes and so many others have set out on helping our campaign. Padmé said it was time for a break, so she went off with Anakin and I came to find you.” The tone of your voice was supposed to be slightly teasing, but it didn’t come out like that.
Obi-Wan didn’t notice. He didn’t notice because it was something he was inexperienced with. The hints that so many others would pick up in an instant were foreign to the man you were hopelessly in love with. Out of the entire galaxy, you had to go and fall in love with the man you were sure wouldn’t love you back. Or, at least, wasn’t allowed to love you back.
Instead of meeting one another’s eyes, you both looked out at the dance floor. You both caught sight of the Naboo senator and Obi-Wan’s former padawan. The two of them seemed to be in deep conversation as they danced together. Watching the two of them, there was no doubt that they were deeply in love with the other. It was something that you constantly had to talk Obi-Wan through so that he didn’t say something wrong.
Looking out at them was actually sweet. Padmé had confessed her love for Anakin to you. She even pointed out how you and Obi-Wan had seemed close as well. That conversation led to empty bottles of wine and your friend holding you as she handed tissue after tissue.
Now, you looked out at the couple and you couldn’t help but think back to moments with Obi-Wan. Padmé tried to insist that your feelings were reciprocated, but you couldn’t think of a single moment that showed that. Now, you did.
It gave you an idea.
“Would you care to dance?”
When you looked back towards him, he looked uncertain. Clearly forgetting why they are in this situation.
“Come on, Obi. It would look bad if my boyfriend refuses to dance with me,” you said with a teasing tone to lighten the mood.
“Oh, alright.” If he were being honest, he wouldn’t have said no even if he wasn’t pretending tonight. Not only that, but he could never bring himself to say no when you called him Obi. It only shattered any restraint he had. Every. Single. Time.
Putting his drink down, he offered his hand to you. When slid your hand into his calloused one, there was a comfort that filled both of you as he led you to the dance floor. He made sure to be closer to the middle both for protection and so that, in a way, the two of you had more privacy. He didn’t want prying eyes watching as he was sure that he would soon crumble the longer he looked into your eyes.
Once he found a place that he liked, he stepped up in front of you and kept his eyes on yours, placing his free hand on your waist. When you placed your other hand on his shoulder, you stepped closer to him. The close contact was driving you both insane.
With ease, Obi-Wan led you as the two of you moved together. He didn’t dare break eye contact with you as you moved perfectly as one. Your own eyes were shining as you smiled up at him. He was smiling back, and as the moment continued, his will to keep everything in was slowly shattering. For the briefest moment, he considered leaving as he was scared that he actually would let it out. There was no way he was leaving you, though.
He pulled you closer by your waist. If he needed to, he could use the excuse of the situation, but he didn’t need to. His heart seemed to swell as it picked up speed for the hundredth time that night as he watched your eyes only soften at the action. He was sure you could probably feel how it was threatening to hammer its way out of his chest.
Truth was, you could feel it, and you wouldn’t be surprised if he could feel yours. It gave you a strange reassurance as there was also something in his eyes that you could see that finally, after years, had given it away.
With the hand on his shoulder, you moved it to rest on his cheek. He ever so subtly leaned into your palm, making you giggle lightly at the ticklish sensation of his scruff, and his will completely shattered.
“Y/N,” he said, his voice catching in his throat.
“Yes, Obi?”
“I need to tell you something,” he started then began to ramble, “and I’m sure you probably don’t feel the same way and I want you to know it’s fine. I just need to get it off of my shoulders and I know it’s against The Code and I will understand if you want someone else-”
“Obi,” you cut him off, slightly chuckling at his ramble. “Whatever it is, I’m sure it will be fine.”
You began to trace small circles on his cheek with your thumb. You were sure you knew what was coming, but you still thought that maybe it wasn’t. Could this really be happening?
“I- You are the most beautiful women I’ve ever met. Despite my best efforts, you became more than a friend to me,” he said with a slightly shaky voice.
Your heart was swelling with pure happiness. This was exactly what you thought he never felt. It was what you thought he would forever keep quiet.
“I love you, darling. I love you so much it hurts. It hurts because I’ve always felt like you don’t feel the same.” He stopped the dance and just focused on you; focused on the feeling of your hand on his bearded cheek. “But I think I may have been mistaken.”
The smile on your face only grew as happy tears filled your eyes.
“Apparently, I was too.”
Confusion crossed his features, bringing out the adorable little crease in between his eyebrows.
“I thought that I was the one who had unrequited feelings, Obi. I thought that I was the one who was unbearably in love with you.”
Finally, a smile appeared on his face. The hand that held yours brought your hands to his lips. This time, you didn’t push the chill away, but let it make its way up your arm and down your back.
Then, he pulled you even closer while letting go of your hand. You were about to be upset about its loss until he placed his calloused hand gently on your cheek.
“I love you, Obi,” you almost whispered.
Slowly, he leaned in closer. When he spoke, his nose was gently nuzzling yours and his lips hovered over yours, “I love you too, my darling.”
And finally, the one thing you’ve dreamed of for years finally became reality. His lips met yours, soft and sweet, just like you imagined. And the one thing that he had only imagined, that you now acted on, was moving your hand into his hair.
The sensation was a relief to you both. You enjoyed the feeling of the soft strands as he loved how you lightly tugged at them. It increased the passion behind the kiss as you relished in the moment. This would probably be the last time the two of you could do this in public and have an excuse. So, you both took advantage of it while you could.
When the two of you parted, you rested against the others’ forehead. Smiles were plastered on your faces and you both believed that nothing could wipe them from your faces. Not in this moment. Not when the two of you loved each other and finally knew it.
“How much longer until you need to go back?” Obi-Wan asked quietly, a little breathily as he was still catching his breath. You knew that you should go back and get more votes, but you wanted to stay in this moment. You wanted to stay with him on the one night you were open to love him the way you wanted to.
“Soon. But, I have a plan.”
“Do you now?” he said in a playful tone, raising an eyebrow, still not separating from you.
Chuckling, you nodded against him, “Stay with me while I campaign a bit longer. Then, after, we could have the rest of the night to ourselves.”
“I like the sound of that.” With that, he kissed you again, lips lingering against yours in a quiet, peaceful moment.
“Ahem,” you heard someone clear their throat. Startled, the two of you pulled your lips away as you looked over. It was Padmé who wore a knowing smile. A quick glance and Anakin was not far with his own smirk directed mainly at his master. “We should get back to mingling.”
She winked and walked away with Anakin not far behind.
The two of you looked back at each other and couldn’t help but chuckle. There was no way you were going to live this down. But, you didn’t care. The two of you had more important things to think about. The top of that list, how the two of you would go about the rest of this night. Together.
@stardancerluv @where-fantasy-meets-reality @jaydenwoo @madmax2003 @generousrunawaydonut
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nanowrimo · 3 years
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5 Tips for Fast Drafting from a New York Times Bestselling Author
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NaNoWriMo is basically an exercise in fast drafting: getting as much of the first draft of the story as you can on the page as quickly as possible. Today, bestselling author J. Elle is here to share some pro tips for fast drafting: My first middle grade novel took me nine days to write. 
The first draft was about 40,000 words or so. And yes, it needed to be revised before it sold to a publisher. But the meat of the story was on the page in just over a week’s time. I’d never drafted anything quite that fast before. Within a single month I’d written an entire novel, revised it a couple times and readied it for sale. A few months later that novel sold at auction and will be on shelves May 2022. 
I still look back on this feat with a bit of shock and awe. To date I’ve sold five novels to major publishers, two young adult, two middle grade and one non fiction and my experience fast drafting has forever altered the way I approach writing. I should mention, fast drafting isn’t for everyone. Writing is such a personal thing and each storyteller has their own process, but in the event getting the first draft out is the biggest hurdle for you, like it is for me, I’m going to share five tips for knocking out that first draft in record time. 
1. Start with a SHORT story pitch.
Pitching a story in a few words is tough. But it’s a worthy effort and the best use of your time before you get any words on the page. Why? Because it helps you hone in on the core of your story and its hook. A good short pitch involves the character, their dilemma, and a hint of the stakes. In October of 2018 I pitched my YA debut novel in a tweet which then blew up. Not many words can fit in a tweet, but by choosing the right set of words, I was able to convey the heart of my story and it really resonated. (From that tweet, I signed with a literary agent and sold my debut novel to a Big 5 publisher in a six-figure-deal.) The biggest favor you can do for yourself is understand the story—its essence, its core—you’re trying to tell before you start drafting. And that’s hard. But the more you play around with creating a short pitch, you’ll begin to see a clear snapshot of what your book is going to be about. That’s your jumping off point. 
2. Expand your pitch into tent pole beats.
From your short pitch, spend some time deciding on what your major beats are. Now, yes this is a bit like outlining. And for you pantsers out there, I empathize with you. I was a pantser and still am in many ways. But I still do this step because this step ultimately saves me time. The beauty of fast drafting is that you know what you need to do when you sit down to type. So a lot of these steps are about doing pre-work so that when you sit down to type you’re not spinning your wheels to figure out what to type. Instead you’ll have a clear goal and you’ll be ready to execute it. Also, note that the goal isn’t to perfect each of these steps, but instead to try to do each step, to the best of your ability, and in a way that makes sense. 
I could write an entire piece on beat sheeting novels (which I love and do for all my books), but for the purposes here, I’ve organized the main things you want to know below in a series of questions. Simply answer each, make a chart if you like that sort of thing, and once you have each question filled out in a way that logically makes sense, move on to the next step. (NOTE: It’s a good idea to get feedback on this step if you have critique partners and fellow writers you trust.)  
Opening Scene - Who is the character before the world changes?
Inciting Incident - What happens that forces them to make a choice, changing their lives forever? What are they choosing between? 
“A” Plot - What is that choice they make? What are they pursuing or working toward? Finding information? Going on a quest? Uncovering the truth behind a murder?
Stakes - What are the stakes of the “A” plot? What’s at risk if they fail to accomplish whatever they’re pursuing? It should be something that personally affects them or someone / something they care about. 
“B” Plot / Character - Who or what is the theme of the story? What character in your story is going to embody that theme and play a key role in helping the main character change?
Midpoint - what happens in the middle of the book to change the character’s direction. Usually it’s some bit of new information or they realize things are not as they seem. 
Stakes Raise - How do the stakes (what’s at risk if they fail) raise after the middle of the book? 
Character Arc - what does your character believe about the world in the beginning of the book that by the book’s end they will no longer believe? (An extension of this question is: what things can happen in this character’s life to facilitate them incrementally learning this big truth? If you don’t know this question right off, that’s okay. But this is a question you want to go back to every now and again, even after you finish the first draft, to ensure your character is actively involved in a plot that is resulting in their change.)
Failure - How will your character fail big? This happens at about the 75% point of the book and it's the final moment of failure, usually, before they pick themselves up off the ground (figuratively or literally) and learn the lesson they’ve needed to learn. There forward they act on their new belief to the end of the book, demonstrating how they’re changed. 
If you’d like a more in depth look at how to beat sheet a novel, I strongly suggest reading Jessica Brody’s Save The Cat Writes A Novel. 
3. Flesh out your beats into a detailed synopsis. 
Now the fun part! This step is the most helpful thing you can do to enable yourself to fast draft. 
Write a mini version of your story, also known as a detailed synopsis. The key to writing synopses is not to worry about the voice, but instead what happens. Try to convey what happens and its impact on the character to show how the story moves from tent pole moment to tent pole moment (per the step above). This takes some trial and error and you may get annoyed with yourself because it’s not as easy as it seems. But, I’ve seen that if you can write a compelling and cohesive synopsis, the draft that you execute will be far stronger and more efficiently executed. 
Definitely get beta feedback on your synopsis from writing friends you trust. It’s worth going over this a few times to get it right. In terms of length, aim for 3-4 pages for a middle grade novel and 5-10 pages for a young adult or adult novel. These are just general guidelines. My latest YA novel required a fifteen page synopsis and I am very glad I did it because it conveys the tone, arc, and plot of the novel and the main plot threads quite well, which allowed me to draft the first 23,000 words of the story in five days. 
4. Summarize each scene. 
(Note: a chapter can have more than one scene.)
Okay, we’re getting really close to writing! Now that you have a mini version of your story, consider how you will break it up into scenes. This doesn't need to be perfect, but spend some time figuring how to stretch your synopsis into a full novel. Give each scene a short summary. Aim for a few sentences, no more than a paragraph, just so you know what needs to happen in that scene (or scenes). Do not skip this step. I repeat, do not skip this step. This step allows you to sit down and execute the scene without figuring out what to write. The “figuring out” part is where a lot of writers slow down. Do that in the summaries so when it’s time to draft you are ready to execute, not sort out details. 
5. Write with a goal in mind.
Plan your writing days. I’m not talking anything extensive here. Just grab your phone calendar or a post-it note and write down which days you want to do which scenes. Then on writing day re-read that summary and execute it. If you’ve done all the pre-work the words will fly from your fingers. Don’t worry about grammar, typos, reading back what you did. Insert fillers such as, “TITLE” or “NAME” for details you haven’t worked out yet. Just get the scene that you’ve summarized out. The goal is to finish the draft. After that is when you make sure it all works together through revisions and fill in the details. Right now the goal is finishing the draft. It literally just needs to exist! 
If you’ve done all five steps, pat yourself on the back because congrats, you’re ready to fast draft! Don’t hesitate to tag me on socials if you try this method out and it works for you. I’d love to hear how it goes!
J.Elle is the New York Times bestselling author of Wings of Ebony. Elle has a Bachelor’s of journalism and an MA in educational administration and human development.  She grew up in Texas, but has lived all over, from coast to coast which she credits as inspiration for her writing. These days the former educator can be found mentoring aspiring authors, binging reality TV, loving on her three littles, or cooking up something true to her Louisiana roots.
Website: WingsOfEbony.com
Twitter: @AuthorJ_Elle
Instagram: @AuthorJ.Elle
TikTok: @authorjelle
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sunnytaes · 3 years
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What's a meet-cute? | KNJ
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☆ Pairing: Kim Namjoon x gn! reader
☆ Genre/themes: fluff, strangers to lovers, strangers to ???
☆ Warning(s): (joking) mentions of caffeine addiction, kind of ambiguous ending
☆ Word count: 1.4 k
☆ Summary: Two strangers meet on a train. Will they continue to live their lives in passing or seize the opportunity of a romantic meet-cute?
The window felt cool against my forehead as I watched trees go by in a blur of red and orange and green. I sighed deeply, my breath fogging the glass in front of me, revealing the frowny face I’d drawn earlier. The sound of a throat clearing pulled me from my reverie and I looked up to find a tall man standing next to me, clutching a leather messenger bag.
“Is this seat taken?” he asked, gesturing towards the seat across from me with a polite smile.
I looked around, noting the countless empty seats on the train before returning my gaze to the man. He was handsome, with ashy blond hair swept away from his face save for a single strand gracing his forehead, tortoiseshell wire-rimmed glasses, and a dimple so deep the craters of the moon would get imposter syndrome.
“I- uh- no?”
It came out more like a question than I wanted it to, but I was rather confused as to why this gorgeous man would want to sit with someone when nearly the whole train was empty. I brushed it off, figuring there was no harm in having some company, especially from someone as friendly-looking as this man. Besides, anything was better than what I’d been previously doing, staring aimlessly out the window, which was distracting me from doing what I was supposed to be doing, writing my manuscript. My gaze drifted to my open laptop in front of me, the blank screen reflecting my tired face back at me and the cursor blinking tauntingly. Writer’s block was a bitch.
“Are these all yours?” the stranger asked, gesturing to the numerous empty coffee cups scattered across the table.
I startled at his voice, not having realized he’d even taken a seat, though I supposed I’d indirectly invited him to. A blush heated my cheeks once I became aware of exactly how much coffee I had consumed in the last five hours, and this stranger was calling me out on it.
“I- um- Tons of work to do. Need a lot of caffeine.” God, why couldn’t I form complete sentences around this man?
He nodded and pulled out a laptop of his own, putting in a pair of wireless earbuds, which I took as a way to end the conversation. Reluctantly (but simultaneously relieved I would no longer be making a fool out of myself in front of this handsome man), I dragged my attention back to the blank document in front of me. With a heavy sigh, I began to type away to what I hoped would amount to my next book. Whether it was staring out the window or the new company that helped with the writer’s block, I soon found myself getting into a groove of writing and had written several pages by the time my attention was pulled from the screen by the man standing up.
“I’m gonna get some coffee, do you want some? Or should I not enable what looks like a pretty serious caffeine addiction?”
I laughed, reaching for my wallet. “I’ll have an herbal tea, thanks. Any kind is fine.”
He reached forward, gently resting his hand on top of mine to stop me from opening my wallet. I don’t believe in fairy tales where sparks fly when the main characters first touch, but I swear my brain short circuited from the small amount of contact.
“Don’t worry, it’s on me,” he said with a smile, that damn dimple disarming me enough to cause me to nod slowly before I’d fully processed what just happened. It was only when he was sauntering out of the car that I realized I’d gone against everything I believed in and let a stranger pay for my drink.
Soon enough a steaming cup of tea that smelled like apples and cinnamon and fall was placed in front of me and I immediately wrapped my hands around it, desperate to regain the warmth I’d lost in my fingertips after drawing the frowny face on the window.
“Thanks,” I said, looking up as the stranger sat down across from me. “I realized after you left that I probably shouldn’t accept drinks from random strangers.”
He laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling in a way that made me think he was no stranger to laughter, and he reached his hand across the table for a handshake.
“I’m Namjoon, and I promise I haven’t done anything to your drink.”
Blushing, I took his hand and shook it. “I’m Y/N.”
I took a sip of my tea, satisfied that I was no longer accepting a drink from a stranger, and immediately regretted it as I burnt the tip of my tongue. Namjoon must have seen the flash of pain on my face as a result of my impatience, since it looked like he was trying to hide a smile behind his fist. It would have worked, had his dimple and the clear mirth in his eyes not given him away.
“What are you writing?'' he asked, taking the lid off of his drink and blowing on it so as not to make the same mistake I did.
“A novel,” I answered, doing the same.
“What kind of novel?”
“A romance.”
I cursed myself internally for still not being able to put together a coherent sentence. Poor Namjoon probably wanted company on this long train ride, and here I was giving him the bare minimum amount of words in my replies.
“What is it about?”
Even though I could still barely think straight around this man, talking about the book I'd put so much time and effort into loosened me up. I tried not to get distracted by the fascinated look on his face as I explained.
“It’s about two people who are both new to a small town and try to navigate life in a new town and small town gossip, while also falling for each other.”
“Sounds interesting. How did they meet?”
“See, that’s the part I’m stuck on. I've got a pretty solid plan for how they gradually fall in love but I have no idea how they should meet. I want a good meet-cute but everything seems too cliché.”
“What’s a meet-cute?” he asked, finally taking a sip of his coffee and causing his glasses to fog up.
My eyes widened, excited to explain the concept and shocked that he didn’t already know what it was.
“It’s like when two strangers meet for the first time and immediately hit it off, even if the circumstances of their meeting are odd or even embarrassing. A good meet-cute sets the scene for the romance in the rest of the novel.”
He nodded, leaning forward with his chin resting on his hands, looking at me intently.
“I see, so you’re looking for a way to have them meet naturally but in a way that would make it clear that they’ve caught each other’s attention.”
“Yes, exactly!” I exclaim, glad that he was catching on quickly. “A lot of books have short and sweet meet-cutes like meeting at a coffee shop or a bookstore but I always find those interactions to be too short to justify a lasting connection.”
He nods as if considering something.
“Makes sense. Why don’t you have them meet on a train?”
“Sorry, what?” I asked, the suddenness of the question causing me to choke on my tea.
Namjoon looked slightly amused as he handed me a napkin to cough into, continuing to pitch me his idea.
“You said they’re new to town, right? What if they meet on the train ride in? It’s the perfect opportunity to meet a cute stranger and take a liking to them enough that it sets up the romance in the rest of the novel.”
“I guess you’re right,” I manage to croak out, clearing my throat into the napkin.
“Think about it,” he says, starting to wave his hands animatedly. “They would have a hell of a story to tell their kids and grandkids too. ‘Oh yeah, we met on a train and immediately hit it off. It was very romantic.’ Much better than a dating app or at university, don’t you think?”
“I suppose it is,” I answered, eyeing him curiously. Somehow I gathered the confidence to lean forward and look into his deep brown eyes. “Is this a meet-cute then?”
“That depends,” he asked, his cheeks heating up as he tentatively reached for my hand. I let him take it, savouring the warmth.
“On what?”
“Have we adequately set the scene for the romance to continue?”
“I think we have.”
“Good. Me too.”
Masterlist.
Taglist (let me know if you wanna be added!): @felixtok
Photo credits: 1. 2. 3.
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morganaspendragonss · 3 years
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holly's august extravaganza day 26: slowly becoming lovers
for sonia (@pragmaticoptimist34)! i have to confess something - i got so caught up in writing this that i actually forgot to include either of the other two prompts you sent me 🙈 i hope you like it anyway!
second confession - it was supposed to be longer and then it kind of got away from me so i had to draw a line somewhere oops
thanks to @ravens-words, @cosmiicmalex, @halsteadmarchs and liz (sorry, i don't know your tumblr!) for enabling me and to @noxsoulmate for beta'ing!
ao3 | 2.9k | falling in love, fluff, tiny, tiny hint of hurt/comfort, soft tarlos, set between s1 and s2
Things don’t get fixed overnight. They agree to give them a shot, but that doesn’t change the fact that TK is still reeling from his break-up and overdose, nor that Carlos is still hesitant and afraid of pushing too hard at once.
But, slowly, they get to know each other. And, slowly, they start to fall in love.
i. food preferences
“You have to be joking.”
“It tastes like soap, Carlos!”
Carlos groans and drops his head into his hands, shaking his head at this latest revelation from his boyfriend. His boyfriend, who has just made his life—or at least his cooking—a hell of a lot more complicated. “My mamá would have a fit if she could hear you now.”
He almost regrets the words as TK’s eyes alight with interest; he’s been dancing around the topic of his parents for a while now, but it’s not like he can deny what he said. His mom would be having a fit, or possibly attempting to kill TK with a wooden spoon, if she found out that Carlos’s boyfriend was not only a gringo, but one who hates coriander.
“I swear, you won’t even taste it when it’s mixed into the food,” he tries, because coriander is a staple of his cooking, and he can’t even fathom not using it.
But TK just levels him with a firm look. “Yes, I will, Carlos. I’ll always taste it.”
Carlos rolls his eyes at his boyfriend’s theatrics, but sighs, relenting. “Fine. I suppose I can—” He doesn’t get a chance to finish his sentence, as TK throws his arms around him and plants a noisy kiss on his cheek.
“Thanks, babe,” he says, grinning cheekily.
“Yeah, yeah,” Carlos grumbles, but he can’t help but smile.
There’s very little, he’s finding, that he wouldn’t do for TK.
ii. nicknames
It slips out by accident one day.
“TK,” Carlos groans, followed by a gasp as TK moves just right, sending sparks of pleasure down his spine. “TK, Ty—”
TK instantly freezes on top of him and Carlos’s eyes open, concern rising in him as he takes in the pensive look on his boyfriend’s face.
“What’s wrong?”
“I…” TK shakes his head and forces a smile. “It’s nothing. I’m good, I promise.” He ducks down to kiss Carlos again, but the mood is all wrong, and Carlos gently pushes him back, raising an eyebrow. TK holds out a moment longer, then sighs and rolls away, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s stupid.”
Carlos tuts, reaching over to brush a hand through TK’s hair. “Bet you $20 it’s not.”
“Hope you have $20 then, Reyes,” TK says wryly. He looks over at Carlos and sighs again, biting his lip. “It’s just… You called me Ty.”
“Oh.” Carlos’s eyes widen and he props himself up on an elbow. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking; it won’t happen again—”
TK presses a finger against his lips, cutting him off abruptly. He smiles softly, then removes his finger and caresses Carlos’s cheek. “It’s okay,” he says. “More than okay, actually. I… I’ve always hated my name, but, I don’t know, I guess it sounded right? Like, when you said it? I think I’d kill anyone else who tried, but I really liked it coming from you.”
“Are you sure? You’re not just saying that because—”
Carlos is again cut off, this time by TK’s lips on his. TK moves so that he’s straddling Carlos again, hands pressed against his chest. “I’m sure,” he whispers, a grin playing at his mouth. “Now, weren’t we in the middle of something?”
iii. religion
Christmas sneaks up on him that year. Between helping the city recovering from the solar storm, work in general, the pandemic, and building his relationship with TK, Carlos has completely lost track of the months, until it’s a week before the date and he has nothing planned.
Really, it’s never been a big deal for him; he and his family used to attend mass and make an event out of it when he was a kid, but now he’s an adult, he’s often working, and he hasn’t been to church regularly since he was a teenager. But this year is different. This year, he’ll be spending it with TK, their first Christmas together, and he wants to make it special.
But he’s left it too late—nothing he orders online will arrive in time, the shops are becoming a nightmare, and he honestly has no clue where to even start. So Carlos resigns himself to another quiet Christmas, frustration and disappointment welling in him at the thought of telling his boyfriend.
“I’m sorry,” he blurts out one night over dinner, the thought having been gnawing at him for days.
TK raises a brow. “For?”
“Christmas,” Carlos sighs, looking down into his stew. “It’s our first one together and I had all these plans, and then I just sort of… I didn’t forget! But things have been so crazy, and—”
He’s cut off when TK lays a hand on his. When Carlos looks up at him, TK seems to be fighting back laughter, which is confusing at best and potentially mildly insulting at worst.
“Babe,” TK says, grinning, “it’s okay. You might not believe me, but I forgot too. Christmas wasn’t really a thing growing up—my mom’s Jewish, so I used to celebrate Hanukkah on the years I stayed with her, and Dad was working more often than not. I don’t care, I promise.”
Carlos blinks. “You’re Jewish?” Surely he would know if… But they’ve never discussed religion before, and Carlos had kind of assumed TK had the same ideals as him about the church. In hindsight that was stupid and presumptuous, and Carlos can’t quite believe he’d do something like that. An apology is on the tip of his tongue, but TK just shrugs, going back to his stew.
“Half,” he says. “I don’t really practice anymore but I still keep the beliefs with me, if that makes sense?”
“Yeah. Yeah, it does.”
TK smiles at him, and Carlos suddenly realises that this holiday season will be special after all, even if they don’t celebrate anything. Because he’s with TK, which is the most special thing in the world.
iv. how they sleep
Carlos has been sleeping alone for a long time. He’s had a couple of short-term boyfriends and the odd hook-up here and there, but he’s never had someone else in his bed regularly—certainly not regularly enough to get used to it.
TK was hesitant at first to stay over, but once he started to be more comfortable, it was almost a given that they’d be sleeping together whenever their shifts allowed.
And it had been an adjustment.
TK had warned him he tended to move around and be clingy in his sleep, but Carlos hadn’t quite understood what that meant, until now. He is, essentially, trapped under TK, his arms pinned to his sides and one leg thrown over his hip. TK’s head is pillowed on Carlos’s shoulder and his breath is fanning in soft puffs over his skin.
The only way he can move is if he wakes TK up, and there’s no way Carlos is going to do that. His boyfriend looks so peaceful, and Carlos is more than happy to be clung onto like a koala to a branch if it keeps that expression on his face.
In fact, he thinks he can get used to this very easily.
v. pda
In private, their days are filled with gentle touches and stolen kisses. Carlos will be cooking breakfast and TK will slip his arms around him, kissing the back of his neck. TK will be doing one chore or another and Carlos will brush a hand over his back or gently nudge him as he walks past.
But in public, it’s a whole other story.
It’s almost reflexive, the way TK reaches for Carlos’s hand as they’re walking down the street. It’s something they do all the time at home, and even with their friends, but this time, Carlos immediately tenses, seemingly automatically pulling his hand away.
“You okay?” he asks, frowning.
Carlos takes a deep breath, then obviously plasters on a smile, retaking TK’s hand—and TK can feel the tension in the gesture. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not.” TK gently lets go of Carlos and smiles reassuringly up at him. “It’s okay if you’re not comfortable with touching in public.”
“I’m sorry, I just—”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. This is all on me; I should have asked.”
“But—”
“But, nothing.” He carefully bumps their soldiers together. “You’re entitled to your boundaries, I’m just sorry for overstepping. Tell me next time, please?”
Carlos hesitates, but nods, a gentle press of their arms a silent acknowledgment of agreement and understanding.
vi. scars
Carlos, TK has noticed, likes to pay extra attention to his bullet scar. Whether it’s pressing a gentle kiss over it when they’re in bed, or brushing it with his fingers when wrapping an arm around him, it happens too often for TK to believe it’s anything but intentional.
He doesn’t understand it at first.
Then he discovers Carlos’s own scars.
“What’s this?” he asks, tracing over the thick raised scarring on Carlos’s side. It stretches along the curve of his waist and round his back, and TK has no idea how he hasn’t noticed it before.
Carlos cranes his neck, letting out a hum when he sees what TK’s looking at. His head flops back down on the pillow and he closes his eyes, absently stroking up and down TK’s sides.
“It was...three years ago, maybe?” he says. “I got stabbed on a call. They told me it was pretty touch-and-go for a while, but they fixed me up and I was back at work in a month.”
His eyes are still closed, body completely relaxed, but TK can’t take his eyes off the scar. He reaches up to his own scar, and he gets it.
Carlos’s eyes crack open. “TK?”
“I’m good,” TK murmurs. He breaks his gaze from Carlos’s abdomen and smiles at him. “We both are.”
And if, after that day, Carlos notices him paying more attention to that scar, he doesn’t say anything.
vii. penguin or panda
“You’re out of your mind!”
In Carlos’s defence, a zoo date had seemed like a good idea. He knows TK loves animals, and he himself grew up around them, so in theory, a trip to Austin Zoo should have been the perfect time to get to know each other better while enjoying the day.
Turns out, TK has some very strong opinions on animals, and is willing to budge for absolutely no-one.
“I can’t believe you think penguins are cuter than pandas! I mean, look at them, Carlos!” He gestures emphatically to the panda enclosure, where one is napping on a log. It’s pretty cute, Carlos has to admit, but…
He shrugs. “But remember when the penguins were all huddling together?”
TK makes a noise of outrage, and Carlos has to laugh, then some more at the wounded pout he gets for it. “Is this really a thing for you?” he asks. “Like, is this going to be the dealbreaker for us?”
TK folds his arms and levels him with a stern look. “That depends,” he says. “Meerkats or koalas?”
And, just because he knows it will rile TK up more, Carlos grins and answers, “Meerkats.”
(They don’t break-up over it, but Carlos isn’t so sure that TK will be forgiving him any time soon.)
viii. special interests
“Say you could go back to a moment in history, but only once,” TK says, out of the blue, breaking the comfortable silence of the front room. Carlos stops carding his fingers through TK’s hair and looks down at him, curious. “Where would you go?”
Carlos opens his mouth, but TK doesn’t give him a second to answer. “Is it cliché if I said I’d go to Stonewall? I mean, I’d really like to see dinosaurs in the flesh, or—oh! I was, like, obsessed with pirates as a kid; I thought they were the coolest things ever, and I pretty much idolised Anne Bonny. But I’m pretty sure I’d die immediately if I went to either of those places, so…”
He trails off, a blush rising on his cheeks. “Sorry, I’m boring you.”
“No!” Carlos rushes to say. “No, you’re not. I love history, I just… What makes you ask?”
“It’s something we got into at the station earlier. Mateo brought it up first, I think?”
Carlos hums, pursing his lips in thought. “I guess…” He sighs and shakes his head. “It’s too hard. There’s so many places I’d want to go and people I’d want to meet.”
“But if you had to pick?” TK pushes, sitting upright and looking at Carlos with interest.
“I really want to meet Eleanor of Aquitaine, but if I could only go to one place…” He hesitates and thinks it over some more, but then his eyes catch on the masks hanging along the stairway, and he’s sure. “Tenochtitlan, but before Cortés arrived. It was a whole society, and I just think it would be so cool to see it up close and to know what it was like first-hand. I mean, I’ve read a lot of books, but we don’t have much from the Mexica people, a lot is from the conquerors, and—”
Carlos stops and huffs a laugh. “Now I’m the one boring you,” he says, but TK shakes his head, eyes bright.
“Tell me more.”
ix. coffee order
TK accepts the coffee without even thinking about it, even taking a sip before he realises he never told Carlos what his order was. He curses himself but resolves to drink it anyway; TK isn’t too much of a coffee snob, and he’s certainly not going to reject anything his boyfriend brings him.
He takes a second sip, and he’s so caught up in making a mental note to tell Carlos next time that it takes a minute for the taste to register. And…
It’s his order.
He looks sharply up at Carlos, who is smiling into his own coffee—therefore dispelling any notion of this being an insanely good guess. “How did you know?” he asks, bewildered.
The tips of Carlos’s ears turn pink, but the smile doesn’t leave his face as he looks up at TK. “Our first real date,” he says. “You mentioned that this was your go-to order.”
And TK can’t do anything but stare, because their first date was weeks ago, and Carlos still remembered, and it’s just…
He thinks—no, he knows—he’s falling in love.
x. fears
“Weirdest fears, go.”
TK has to laugh at the perplexed look Carlos sends him at the question, the straw of his boba hanging out of his mouth. Now that they’ve figured a sort of rhythm out between them, they decided to try the boba place again—there have been no emergencies or disasters so far, so TK is counting it as a win.
“Come on,” he continues. “Last time we were here, you said we barely knew each other—which was true—so now we’re going to fix it.”
Carlos’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. “By telling each other our weirdest fears?”
“Exactly!” TK grins. “I’ll go first if you’re too chicken. Mine is slicing my hands open or cutting some fingers off with ice skates.”
“What?” Carlos breathes, disbelief all over his face. “I’ve never been ice skating but I’m pretty sure your hands aren’t supposed to go anywhere near the blades.”
“I didn’t say it was rational.” TK sips his boba, raising an eyebrow at Carlos. “Your turn.”
Carlos swallows, suddenly very interested in the table. “I, uh. When I was a kid, my Tía Lucy had a snake get into her pipes. She only discovered it when she went to the toilet one morning and it was just...sitting there in the bowl. I was terrified for years that the same would happen to us, and it’s kind of become a reflex to check.”
“Oh my god.” TK can’t help but burst out laughing, even though he feels bad for it as Carlos covers his face with his hands. “I’m sorry, I know it’s a real thing for you, I just…”
But Carlos’s shoulders are shaking too and, bizarrely, TK really does feel closer to him now.
It’s a good feeling.
xi. long-term commitments
Carlos is surprised when TK is the one to bring it up first.
“Do you ever think about the future?” he asks one day, head in Carlos’s lap, staring up at the ceiling.
Carlos pauses the show he’s technically supposed to be watching and quirks an eyebrow at his boyfriend. “Sure,” he says. “What about the future exactly?”
TK hesitates, and his voice comes out a lot quieter when he next speaks. “Like…” He sighs, a small flush rising on his cheeks. “The future. Our future. Us. Maybe...marriage, or…”
He trails off, practically whispering by the end of it. His gaze has shifted from the ceiling to the frozen TV screen and he’s chewing on his bottom lip, body stiff with tension. “Sorry,” he mutters. “Forget about it.”
But Carlos is learning to read TK, and he knows he was looking for reassurance. “I mean, yeah,” he says. “I think about it. Do you?”
TK stares up at him, wonder in his eyes. “After New York, I thought… But yeah. Yeah, I do.”
They share a smile as they lock eyes, and Carlos knows that they’re on the same page here. That, distant though they may be, both of them can hear wedding bells in their future.
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lsvdw-blog · 3 years
Text
Not a Minute More: Part 2
Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x f!MC
Word Count: 1.8k
Warnings; Rating: Mentions of a cyberattack, Angst; Teen+
Premise: MC's perspective on the day that rocks Ethan to his core and threatens to change his life.
Author’s Note: I was going to wait to post this, but I'm loving the flood of content we're getting rn, so I thought I'd hop on too. I cried writing this... I'm so sorry 😭. Part 1 here. I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading 💖
~ Monday, 8:20am ~
"Good morning, Mike!" Serena greets the security guard right inside the door.
"Hey! How are ya? How's that Dr. Ramsey?"
"We're both doing well, thanks! How about you and the family?" She asks as she puts her phone in a cubby and unplugs the Wi-Fi enabler from her laptop.
"It was the wife and I's anniversary this weekend! We went to Martha's vineyard and saw the most beautiful proposal! You and Dr. R gonna get going on that soon? Aly has been talking about going to y'alls wedding since she met ya!" Mike gives a playful wink.
"Oh, congratulations! That's wonderful and send Aly my best wishes. But you'll have to talk to E on that one," she laughs before opening the door to a stairwell that leads to a classified area.
After keying in her pin, the door clicks open. She grabs a static protection lab coat, walks through the entrance, and is met with a plethora of state-of-the-art equipment. Floor-to-ceiling grey switch panels, curved monitors as far as the eye can see, and countless probes, clips, and wires.
She walks over to a few familiar faces. “Good morning! How’s it going?”
“Nice of you to finally join us! Dr. Ramsey keep you this morning?” Isla, one of the engineers, jests.
“I saw your check-in on the monitor — you walked in two minutes before me!”
“Those diagnostic skills at work, I see,” Isla retorts and they both laugh.
Isla had become a fast and faithful friend since Serena joined the project. They bonded quickly over both being minorities in the world of science and supported each other in every work facet. They had lunch together everyday and gradually, their work bond grew into a personal friendship as well. They’ve become so close that Isla now also regularly spends time with the original Edenbrook gang.
“Alright, enough chit chat. Let’s get this show on the road.”
The team nods and responds, “Yes, Doctor.”
~ 12:00pm ~
Serena exits the classified area with some colleagues and they all make their way to retrieve their phones.
"No new patients. Stuck in meetings and doing paperwork. I miss you and wish you were here."
She immediately breaks out into a large grin after reading Ethan's text and hits the dial button.
"Hey, ready for lunch?" Carmen, one of the lead scientists, asks.
Serena nods and moves her phone slightly away from her ear. "Be there in a minute. You guys go ahead."
She waits for a few more rings. He’s probably busy, I’ll call again later. She hangs up and makes her way to the cafeteria.
~ 12:40pm ~
"We did all the necessary prep work this morning to begin testing after lunch. Everything is looking good. We can begin running our tests since everyone is here. Are we all ready to begin?"
"Yes."
The system engineers are sitting at connected computer stations, inputting the required credentials to start. The rest of the team is standing behind them, waiting and nervously watching the screens. After a couple minutes of tense silence with nothing but the clack clack clack of keyboard keys, Vincenzo, one of the lead engineers, speaks up.
"This is weird… we're having some trouble accessing the necessary data. Did someone put up a firewall?"
Everybody looks around at each other, shaking their heads and muttering "no."
"Isla, are you seeing this? Can you get through?"
Isla continues to type, not saying anything. After a few more seconds, she turns to look at Vincenzo with a concerned expression. "I don't recognize some of the items in our system."
Just as she finishes her sentence, everyone's attention is pulled abruptly to a wall monitor on the right as it starts showing nonsensical images and patterns. Two seconds later, an alarm goes off and a red warning light begins flashing within the building. Everyone's eyes go wide as realization dawns on them: they've been compromised and shelter-in-place has been activated.
~ 12:55pm ~
Everyone begins to evacuate the classified lab area, grabbing their phones on the way out, and peering through the one-way windows. They can occasionally hear Mike speaking rapidly into the phone with a 911 dispatcher, when he's not being drowned out by shouts from colleagues.
On the descent to the bunker, the tension is palpable. Individuals clutch onto each other, others try frantically to reach loved ones, and some are in complete disbelief and shock. As they all descend the five flights of the winding staircase to the basement, windows are no longer available, but the ceiling bulbs keep flickering on and off. Each time it happens, everyone stops in their tracks, ducks down on instinct, and picks up the pace when the lights come back on.
~ 1:15pm ~
The entrance to the Harvard labs bunker is protected by a vault door that has a counter system. When the system is in place, the door can be opened once for people to get in. Once it's been closed, it can only be opened when there's one person on either side working together — it's futile with only one person. The only other way it can be opened is by shutting down the counter system from the outside, with the correct override pin, which only a handful of the most trusted team members know.*
As the vault door comes into sight, the wheel on the outside is turned, and the door opens with a whoosh. People slowly start filing in and head towards the back. However, not everyone can stay in the safety of the bunker. In case of an emergency, the project they’re working on must be erased, to protect it from falling into the wrong hands. Certain people have been assigned particular instructions to delete specific portions.
Serena is one of them.
She's walking next to Isla and their arms are looped together. As Isla enters the bunker, Serena lets go of her arm, stopping at the threshold. Isla whips her head around.
"What are you doing?! Get in here!" She reaches for Serena’s arm.
Serena shakes her head. "I'm the only one currently here who knows the medical codes."
Isla's eyes are frantic in realization. "I'll go back with you! I'll be your lookout! You're not going alone!"
"You'll be safe here. This is my responsibility."
Serena reaches behind her neck and unclasps her gold necklace for the first time in 7 years. She grabs Isla's hand and places the jewelry into her palm, closing Isla's fingers around it.
Serena stares at their clasped hands. "In case anything happens," they both flinch at another flickering of lights. "Promise me that you'll get this to E."
Their eyes are locked now, having a silent battle: Isla begging her to stay and Serena finding the strength not to.
"Isla, promise me. Please." Serena squeezes Isla’s hand that much tighter.
Isla realizes that there's no use in fighting Serena. Risking her life to delete the project is part of the job. They all made a commitment and if the roles were reversed, Isla would be the one fighting to go back.
Isla slowly nods. "I promise, Serena. I promise. But do your best to keep yourself safe. Try and stay near the corners, away from any large equipment that could have aftershock effects, and—"
Serena shakes her slightly. "I know, Isla. We did take the same training," she smiles, trying to make a joke to lighten the mood, but Isla just stares gravely at her.
A booming sound rattles the building and Serena knows it's time to go. She gives Isla a quick hug, before pushing her backwards into the bunker. Before Isla has regained her footing, Serena has closed the bunker door with a resounding thud.
~ 1:30pm ~
On the way back to the classified area, Serena takes out her phone. Ethan hasn't returned her earlier call. Her heart is pounding and with trembling hands, she hits the call button on Ethan's contact card for the second time in less than two hours. After a few rings, his voice comes through.
"You've reached Dr. Ethan Ramsey. I apologize for missing your call. Leave a message and I'll get back to you."
Just as she’s about to start speaking, the lights go down for good. "Hey E," she tries her best to keep her voice from shaking. She puts the call on speaker, places the phone out in front of her, and turns the flashlight on. "I don't know when this will hit the news, but we're currently under cyberattack. I don't know from who or what, but they’ve already gotten into our mainframe and power supply. Everyone has sheltered-in-place and is awaiting further instructions." She takes a deep breath as she inches down a corridor.
"Everyone except me, Vincenzo, and Carmen. We’re the only three here right now trained to completely delete the project in the event something like this happened. I'm walking back to the lab as I speak."
Serena rounds a corner and the lab comes into view. Thinking about what she has to say next, silent tears stream down her face.
"Ethan, sweetheart, I need you to know that the last eight months by your side have been the absolute best eight months of my entire life. You are the light of my existence and mean everything to me." She lets out a deep breath. "I wish I could hear your voice right now… I'm really scared. But I made a commitment, so I need to go back in and finish the job. If something happens, know that you are unequivocally the love of my life and the one for me. I know we haven't talked about it yet, but know that I want to spend forever with you as your wife and have you be the father of my children." She sniffs and continues, "you would be a fantastic husband and dad."
She comes to a stop in front of the keypad located right outside the lab and swallows past the lump in her throat. "But if the universe has other plans for me, I'll be waiting for you and I can't wait to spend forever with you in the next life. This isn't how I wanted to tell you, but until next time, whenever that is, I love you so much, Ethan Jonah Ramsey, more than words could ever properly convey."
She ends the phone call with tear-filled eyes, stashes her phone on a nearby workbench, punches in her key, and enters the classified area one more time.
~~~~~~
*Disclaimer: I have no idea if Harvard labs has a bunker and if they do, what kind of door/system they utilize. This is all purely AU!
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blueskrugs · 4 years
Text
5 Times You Posted about Him, and One Time He Posted about You | Chris Kreider
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I sent an anon to @kreiderrider​ way back at the end of April for Chris’ birthday and still haven’t stopped thinking about it, so apparently I’m writing it now. also for @bobohtuzzo​ for our never-ending loop of being mean to each other with Chris gifs.
TL;DR: this is Taylor’s fault for making me a Kreider girl, and and both hers Bayan’s fault for encouraging and enabling me.
length: 2.8k words
You knew when you started dating Chris that he was not social media’s biggest fan. And that was fine. You were hardly an influencer yourself, and you were pretty sure you followed more dogs than people on Instagram. So the pictures you took of Chris– Chris being cute, Chris doing mundane things, Chris with his bitchface on– stayed firmly in a locked album on your phone.
Until one day when you were sitting on the couch, leaning against Chris while he read a book, flipping through Instagram stories on your phone. One of your friends from high school had posted a cute picture with her boyfriend, and you paused to look at it. Chris rested his chin on your shoulder to peer at your phone. 
“They’re cute,” he murmured, pressing a quick kiss to your shoulder. You hummed in agreement. “How come you never post about me?”
You twisted around to look at him. “First of all, how do you even know that I don’t? Second of all, you want nothing to do with any sort of social media.” 
Chris flicked your nose. “Mika tells me things. And I don’t hate social media, I just don’t really get the point of it. Who the fuck cares what I’m doing every second of the day, who I got lunch with, where I got lunch? Anyway, I don’t really mind if you post about me every once in a while. I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide our relationship just because I avoid Instagram like the plague.” Chris pressed a kiss to your forehead to punctuate his sentence. 
You settled back in against Chris, resuming your mindless scrolling, and looking forward to the first opportunity to show off your boyfriend. 
Chef Chris Chris loved to cook. Part of it came from his absolutely ridiculous diet, you knew, but he also enjoyed the quiet time that cooking gave him, a way to be productive without requiring a ton of energy. The kitchens in either of your apartments were often filled with the smell of something good, for lunches, for dinners on nights off, for a quick meal after a game. Chris rarely let you help him with anything, which was fine because you preferred to bake, and it let you watch him. 
There was something about watching Chris cook that you just adored. He would always end up so focused, a strange intensity in his eyes that resembled the look he sometimes got on the ice. But then you would say something– a stupid joke that you’d seen on the internet, a funny story from work, or a something ridiculous your dog had done that morning– and he would laugh, his eyes lighting up again, and his dimples showing. 
Tonight, Chris was standing over the stove making a risotto. You had begged him for it during a rare full weekend off at home for the Rangers, and he had finally conceded. One of your playlists was playing softly in the living room, and you were perched on a barstool at the island, your dog curled beneath your feet. You weren’t sure if he wanted to be close to you, or if he was just waiting for Chris to give him a piece of chicken. 
Chris was stirring the risotto intently, his tongue poking out the corner of his mouth a little bit. You were already scrolling through your phone, so you couldn’t resist snapping a quick picture for your Instagram story, simply throwing an emoji of a chef in the corner.
You were checking the views on your story later that night and responding to the few people that had replied to it, when Chris saw your phone screen. 
“Hang on, gimme that,” he said, pausing the hockey game he was watching. “How did I not notice you take this?” He looked closer at your phone. “And how many fucking followers do you have, holy shit.”
You took your phone back, seeing that Brett Howden had asked why he didn’t get any dinner. “I got a bunch more after I started dating you,” you said. Chris looked concerned. “Don’t make that face, you dork. I don’t really care, and if I did, I could just make my account private.” 
Chris still looked a little alarmed at the number of people who had seen him cook dinner, but he turned back to the hockey game, anyway. 
Sing Us a Song There was a piano in Chris’ apartment. It was tucked away in the spare bedroom, and he avoided playing it when people were over, even when it was just the two of you. You had lamented that fact once, and Chris had said something about just wanting to spend all his time focused on you. You let it go, but that didn’t mean you weren’t dying to hear him play, especially since everyone who had could only compliment him.
It was nearly Christmas when you let yourself into Chris’ apartment with your spare key. The two of you had spent an entire weekend decorating, and the space was absolutely filled with Christmas spirit. You had been baking cookies, and you were dropping some off for Chris to bring home to Massachusetts and his family. You smiled as you heard the familiar chords of “Celebrate Me Home” echoing through the apartment. Your penchant for listening to Christmas music at all hours was beginning to rub off on Chris finally. You paused, though, when you realized that the voice drifting through the apartment was not Kenny Loggins, but Chris. 
You set the cookies and your purse down gently on a counter, kicking off your snow boots and quietly making your way through the apartment. You peered around the doorway of the spare bedroom. Chris’ back was to you, since the piano faced the windows looking out over the city, as he continued singing. You slipped your phone out of your coat pocket and began recording. You made sure to keep quiet as Chris began playing “The Christmas Song.” You stayed there for a minute longer before putting your phone away and walking into the room.
Chris jumped a little as you put your hand on his shoulder. “Your hands are freezing, Christ, Y/N. How long have you been here?”
You kissed his temple. “Sorry. Just came to drop off cookies and couldn’t resist listening to you for a while. I wish you’d sing for me more often.” Chris blushed all the way up to his ears. 
Later that night, back home and with a pie in the oven this time, you edited the videos you took a little bit and put them up on your Instagram story. You left it captionless.
Your DMs were soon filled with people commenting on how talented Chris was and begging for more videos of him. You screenshotted them all– maybe a little smugly– and sent them to Chris. All you got back was an emoji sticking its tongue out at you. 
Somewhere on a Beach There was absolutely nothing that you loved more than a good vacation. As the Rangers’ bye week approached, Chris was getting desperate to get out of the city, and you were looking forward to a week on a beach.
The Rangers won their last game before the break, and then the two of you were on a plane to Hawaii for some valuable time in the sun. Chris had found a rental with a private stretch of beach, and you both had bags full of books to read.
“Chris, you need to put on sunscreen!” you yelled as he walked across the sand, sunglasses perched on his nose and book in hand, on the first day. He had complained but let you cover him in sunscreen; he got burnt anyway. 
Mika made a crispy potato joke later that night in response to Chris’ whiny text. 
You got a couple good Instagram posts out of the vacation. One was simply pictures of you that you had made Chris take– “like a good Instagram boyfriend, babe” – plus a couple well-executed timer shots of both of you on the beach: sandy toes, sunburnt nose. The other was a small collection of photos you took of Chris throughout the week, in various positions in various chairs, all with a different book. Your favorite was the time you had caught him asleep on the beach, book still clutched precariously in his hand, mouth hanging open as he burned in the sun. I will never understand how he can read a book a day and still never run out of books, you had typed as a caption. 
Dog Lover Chris was sick. You were sure he had been fighting through shit for nearly two weeks but had been too stubborn to admit it, and he had finally hit a wall. You had caught him leaning heavily against the bathroom sink that morning, dizzy and nauseous, as he attempted to get ready for practice; it still took both you and Mika yelling at him, with more than one threat to call Quinn and/or his mother, before he agreed to stay home. 
You had forced him to at least eat a piece of toast before you let him collapse on the couch under most of the blankets you had in your apartment. You sent Mika a picture of Chris in his fever haze, zoned out while watching the morning news. 
You luckily had the day off, so you were able to stay close to your idiot boyfriend with a penchant for ignoring injury and illness. It started storming after you ate lunch, rain lashing against the windows and lightning lighting up the dark New York sky, shrouded with clouds. Chris was still slouched on one end of the couch, barely having moved all morning. You were sitting at the other end with a book, his feet in your lap and thumb idly rubbing circles on his ankle, having ignored Chris’ protests that you were going to get sick, too. 
Later, when you were making dinner, you peeked into your living room to check on Chris. He had thrown most of his blankets onto the floor, and he was sprawled out on his stomach, solidly asleep. Your dog had crawled up onto the couch with him and was laying protectively over Chris’ legs. You smiled at them before reaching for your phone to take a picture. 
First you sent it to Mika: “Sometimes I think he’s only dating me for my dog.” with an eye roll emoji. Mika laughed at that one. 
Then you posted it on your Instagram, this time with the caption everyone knows dog cuddles are the best medicine. Your replies were flooded with get-well wishes for Chris. 
Best Friends Everyone knew that Mika and Chris were pretty much inseparable, both on the ice and off of it. You and Irma had bonded over it one night, when what was supposed to be a nice double date devolved into Chris and Mika discussing the chances of various teams winning the Cup. It had only been November. 
You teased the two about their codependency, but honestly it was endearing. Mika ended up over for dinner more nights than not, and you texted him more than you texted your mom. Mika sometimes crashed movie nights at Chris’ apartment, and all three of you ended up in a tangled mess of limbs and blankets before the end of the night without fail. It was completely undeniable that Chris loved Mika, so it was inevitable that you loved Mika, too. 
The Rangers were having another outdoor practice in Central Park. You loved going to any practice, but the outdoor ones were especially fun to watch. It always seemed like half of New York showed up to watch, and the boys were always more energetic and idiotic than usual.
You hung around close to the boards behind one of the goals during practice. You got some good pictures of the boys warming up, including one particularly cute one of Artemi sticking his tongue out at you. As practice went on, you took more pictures as various Rangers sped past you. The best opportunity was when Chris scored a – frankly ridiculous, honestly – goal over Hank’s shoulder, set up perfectly by Mika. They slammed into the boards next to you in celebration, and you managed to snap a great angle of that smile Mika seemed to reserve specifically for Chris.
All of the WAGs and families were allowed onto the ice after practice ended. You carefully made your way over towards where Chris and Mika were lazily leaning against the boards near one of the benches, nearly running over tripping over Igor’s dog in the process when he ran in front of you, gleefully dragging a leash behind him. 
Chris was facing you, but he didn’t see you approach. You, however, could see the dorky grin he had aimed at Mika from where he was slouching against the wall. As you got closer, you took out your phone and snuck one more picture of the two of them.
You couldn’t resist posting those pictures of your boys. You made sure to tag Mika, adding on the caption someone tell me how I can get a boy to look at me the way Chris and Mika look at each other. 
Mika replied with an eye roll emoji and a blue heart. Irma replied with about five cry-laughing emojis. Chris just looked offended. 
His Turn Chris had managed to convince you to join him for a week in Connecticut, and you had managed to convince him to let you drive up. He grumbled about it all the way out of the city. 
You had your sunglasses on and your hair was loose around your shoulders. Chris’ phone was plugged into your aux, but he had turned on your own road trip playlist. (He complained about your taste in music most of the drive, too.) As you got closer to Connecticut, Chris rolled the windows down. Every once in a while, you glanced over at him, only to already find him watching you with a smile on his face, eyes crinkly and dimple showing. 
You were singing the words to a Taylor Swift song at the top of your lungs, laughing as the wind ripped the words from your throat and out the window, when Chris reached over and picked up your phone. You turned to look at him.
“Eyes on the road,” he scolded, still holding your now-unlocked phone. You raised an eyebrow but turned back to the highway in front of you. 
The song changed again, this time to a Queen song, and you laughed again. Chris started singing along with you, and you forgot that he had been taking a picture of you. 
Later that night, long after the sun set, you got a notification that you had been tagged in a new Instagram post, by @2kreids0. You squinted at your phone screen, confused. You were sitting out on the porch under the stars, and Chris had gone in for dessert (something still stupidly healthy– “It’s the offseason, Kreider!” you had protested) only a couple minutes before.
Still frowning a little, you tapped on the notification. A picture of yourself, with the sun in your face and hair blowing out the window, laughing, eyes bright underneath your sunglasses, filled your screen. It could only have been taken by Chris in your car earlier. You looked at the Instagram handle again.
“Hey, babe?” you called as Chris stepped back outside, trying to balance two bowls and two glasses of wine. He looked up at you. “Did you make an Instagram?” Chris blushed. You looked back at the picture, this time reading the caption below it: I’ll drive anywhere with you, just to hear you sing your favorite songs. 
Chris had moved to stand next to you, still blushing to the tips of his ears. “I might have.” You laughed, taking your glass of wine from Chris’ hand and pulling him down for a kiss. 
“I thought you didn’t see the point?” you asked.
Chris shrugged. “I didn’t. Then you started posting pictures of me all the time, and I started to understand why people share the things they love for everyone to see.” 
“You’re a sap, Kreider,” you said, all fondness. You smiled at him from behind the rim of your wine glass as he took another picture of you. “Is this what I’m like?” you asked. Chris let out a surprised laugh. 
The next morning you were tagged again by Chris. You rolled your eyes. When you opened the notification, you saw the picture from the night before, but there was also a second one, one you didn’t know Chris had taken. It was of you, of course, but you were glaring at something on your phone over your coffee mug, glasses on and hair a mess. This time he had captioned it get you a girl who can do both. 
“Christopher!” You were already beginning to regret showing him exactly how to work Instagram the night before. As you heard Chris laughing his way down the stairs, though, you thought that you could really get used to it, even if Chris probably had some revenge posts in store for you. 
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asian-hero · 4 years
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Taking Hearts, Stealing Shirts
Submission: Hey! Can you do something with Todoroki and the “Is that my shirt” prompt? Your prompts give me all the feels.
A/N: This was really fun to write after that angsty prompt! It was nice to just write a simple, domestic, lovey-dovey story while listening to some sweet, sweet lofi music. So, enjoy some aged-up, not quite pro-heroes yet Todoroki and his s/o being all kinds of soft
“Is that...my shirt?” from this prompt list (feel free to send in a character and a sentence(s))
Summary: While stealing your boyfriend’s shirts was your favorite pastime, Todoroki was starting to run out of things to wear. So, what’s the next best option? Wearing your shirts. Too bad they’re just a bit too small for him
Words: 1,772
Todoroki Shouto loved you dearly, so much so that his heart nearly bursts with happiness every time he sees you. Even though you two have been together for two years, you still find a way to make him feel as if your relationship just started. Somehow, you make him feel all nervous and giddy and at ease all at once, and, to be quite honest, he doesn’t think that’ll ever change. He hopes it doesn’t.
At the beginning of your relationship, it was safe to say that Shouto was a complete and utter trainwreck. It turns out that, surprise, not having a stable and loving figure in your life can make you wary of all your relationships in the future. Not only this, but it can make you extremely clueless as to how a relationship functions, and whether or not his feelings are “normal” or not. So, when the two of you had finally started going steady, he did his best to be the “perfect” boyfriend that you deserved. He’d walk you to and from your classes silently, open all of the doors for you, take his lunch with you, and, embarrassingly enough, if you ever had a shoe lace come undone, you could bet that he’d stop whatever he was doing to bend down and tie it for you. In hindsight, with him being the ever silent and stoic man he is, to others it could’ve seemed very forced, or somewhat robotic. Luckily for the two of you, you both began to relax and grow comfortable with each other, no longer looking like two awkward school children who just entered their first relationship. Which you were, but the entire school didn’t need to know it.
After the two of you graduated from U.A. and landed your first jobs as heroes, the time you had together was limited. After all, it was already difficult being a hero, let alone dating another one. You always tried to make time for one another, though. Even if it was a quick “lunch” break, at midnight, eating microwavable noodles outside a convenience store. While the two of you did your best to see each other often, it didn’t seem to be enough for the two of you, which was what prompted you to ask Shouto to move into your apartment. The words barely left your mouth before he readily agreed, and before you knew it, the two of you were living together.
Living together had its ups and downs. You both learned about the others habits and living styles very quickly. For example, you learned that, while your lovely boyfriend was amazing at many things, folding laundry was not one of them. The first time you two were doing laundry together, you saw the absolute travesty of Shouto just quickly folding and throwing his shirts into a pile. You were confused as to how someone could be so bad at a simple task, and he was confused as to how you took so long to do a simple task. Eventually, you shooed him out of the way and showed him how to properly fold his clothes, but you don’t think he was paying attention, if the poorly concealed giggles were to say anything. It wasn’t as if you could really say anything, as you had your own faults too. One of them that seemed to annoy Shouto the most was your inability to put away blankets after using them. You’d just, leave them there after you moved to another room. He’d remind you every time to put them away, but every day, without a fault, there’d be at least one blanket that was left out somewhere, whether it be on the couch or the floor. He honestly would be more annoyed if you didn’t look so cute with a guilty smile on your face.
However, one habit that Shouto hoped that you’d keep up was the fact that everyday, without a doubt, you’d steal his shirts for yourself. The first time you took one of his shirts was around the second month of living together. You’d gotten off early from your hero agency, only to get a text from your lovely boyfriend saying that he wouldn’t be back until late, so you shouldn’t bother to wait up for him. Did you understand? Yes, you knew that your hectic schedules would leave you two without a lot of time, so it didn’t bother you that much. Were you going to listen to his advice and go to bed without him? Absolutely not. 
So, there you were, at one in the morning, passed out on the couch. When Shouto had walked in, he wasn’t quite sure whether to be angry with you, or if he was just so happy to see you. Once he had walked over to your sleeping form, he decided that not only was he happy to see you, but also that his heart couldn’t take the absolute adorableness that was right in front of his face:
You were all curled up on the couch, your knees tucked in and your hands resting underneath your head. There were pieces of hair that covered your face, and he was sure there was some drool coming out the side of your mouth, but that wasn’t what made his heart skip a beat. Upon further inspection, he noticed you were wearing one of his shirts. It was rather large on you, going all the way down to your mid-thigh, and he couldn’t help but coo at the sight. 
When you woke up later that morning in your bed with a smug grin from Shouto, you quietly admitted that you missed him a bit too much, and that his shirts smelled like him. It was that day when he decided that he really liked seeing you in his clothes, and he’d gladly give you anything in his wardrobe if it meant he got to see you wear it.
With his enabling of your habit, however, came the fact that there was more laundry being done at the end of the day. To be more specific, more of his clothes were needed to be washed, because you loved wearing his shirts and he loved seeing you in them. This would’ve been fine, if it weren’t for the fact that Shouto was slowly losing things to wear the next day. There were multiple occasions when he’d need to find a very specific button up shirt to wear for an event he was to attend, only to find you wearing that exact shirt he needed. Since he was weak when it came to you, he wouldn’t say anything, and then he’d end up with a travesty of an outfit, which Momo would certainly call him out for.
It wasn’t only his formal shirts though. No, it was also his regular t-shirts, his sweaters, his hoodies, and anything else you could get your hands on. While he thought you looked ten times better than he would in his clothes, it wasn’t as if he could just go out without his shirts, despite your constant encouragements for him to just leave the house like that. As much as you liked to compliment his figure, he was sure that going to his workplace shirtless would be a bad idea. Or, going anywhere shirtless that wasn’t the beach would be a bad idea.
So, on one peaceful morning, when most of Shouto’s shirts were in the washing machine, and there was an incessant knocking at the door, rather than waking you up to go and get it, or to give him his shirt for a minute, he decided to do the next best thing: blindly reach for something that felt shirt-like while groggily walking towards the door. However, once he had pulled on whatever shirt he grabbed, there were only two thoughts running through his mind: “why is it so tight?” and “did I gain weight?” 
These thoughts only seemed to grow once he had opened the door to a very flustered mailman. The poor man wouldn’t even look at the hero, and when he’d finished signing for the package, the mailman quickly left, not so much as a “goodbye.”
In his confusion, Shouto didn��t hear you shuffle your way into the living room, rubbing your eyes of all the sleepiness. When you finally got a good look at the man, you blinked a few times before saying anything.
“Honey?”
His head whipped towards you, slightly startled at your intrusion. Once he had fully turned towards you, you couldn’t help the laughter that tore its way from your throat.
“Is that…my shirt?”
Looking down at himself, he realized that yes, he was in fact, wearing your shirt, and, thankfully, he hadn’t gained any excess weight in the past few days. Rubbing the back of his neck, he felt a slight blush creep up his neck. At least he knew why that mailman acted the way he did.
“Ah, I didn’t know it was yours,”
You bit your lip in an attempt to keep any more giggles from coming out. It didn’t work. “What do you mean you didn’t know? It’s at least two sizes too small for you, it barely comes down to your stomach!”
He crossed his arms, huffing in mock annoyance, though you could see the small smile trying to make its appearance. Walking over to him, you gave him a quick peck, patting his exposed stomach.
“Honey, if you wanted to wear my shirts, you could’ve just asked,”
With a click of his tongue, he flicked your forehead lightly, moving away from you and towards the kitchen. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
You pranced behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist while attempting to look over his shoulder. “What’s in the box?”
“New rice cooker,”
“Oh?” You let out, eyebrows lifting ever so slightly, “Replacing the one you broke?”
“I did not break it, yours was old.”
“You don’t just smack a rice cooker into submission, Shouto. You broke it.”
He waved one of his hands, as if dismissing you. Gasping, as if offended, you proceeded to lightly dig your fingers into his sides, making the man let out a shocked laugh. He tried to pry you away from him, but you latched onto him like a leech, refusing to let go. If anyone else were to walk in on you two, they certainly would’ve turned around and left.
Yes, Todoroki Shouto loved you dearly, and one day, he hoped to make you a Todoroki as well. But, for now, he’d settle with trying to escape his ticklish doom.
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godkilller · 3 years
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@izzabizz139
I wanna hear you rant about the Gin vs Hitsugaya anime fight bc I love seeing your pov and you clearly write better than whoever extended that scene :) pretty please
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          out of character.  DON’T ENABLE ME SO MUCH !!  No but I cackled when I first saw this ask because oh my god, clearly you saw a taste of my annoyance about the anime adaptation -- no, adaptation implies it was accurate, I’ll say the anime’s take was “inspired by” the manga’s quick run-in. I’ll start by saying this moment is supposed to be a bit important considering, via the audience’s point of view, THIS IS THE FIRST WE SEE OF TWO CAPTAIN-RANKED SHINIGAMI CLASHING. The only other captain-involved fight we’ve seen thus far in the manga is Kenpachi  ( who is an outlier and should not be counted... no, I joke... but, still, Ichigo was not an equal to him, his sword was sliced through like butter. )  The whole reason I enjoyed this encounter between Toshiro and Gin was simply this; it wasn’t some fancy multi-chaptered fight. IN THE MANGA, THERE ARE ONLY TWO BLOWS MADE. One, by Toshiro, to begin the fight. The second, to end it, is Gin’s strike.
          I want you to know that I’ve rewatched this specifically to answer this ask, and only due to this, as I wouldn’t have ever sought it out otherwise. HONOR MY SACRIFICE.
          Read more for length. I’m merciful.
          In the anime, they monologue at each other, and it’s mostly a combination of Toshiro making three separate death threats  ( he starts this off by saying “I’ll kill you before Hinamori arrives” and then goes on rewording it each time, and then also repeats the death-threat he gave Gin prior to this conflict about “I’ll kill you if Hinamori bleeds” )  and then also Gin and Izuru talking about how truly powerful and amazing Toshiro is -- no, this isn’t me being bitter or petty, I literally shit you not, Gin has a line that is legit “AS EXPECTED FROM HITSUGAYA TOSHIRO, CAPTAIN OF THE TENTH DIVISION, A CHILD PRODIGY OF TH' SORT THAT ONLY COMES ALONG ONLY ONCE EVERY FEW CENTURIES. HOW VEEEERY DANGEROUS. YOU’RE SERIOUS, AIN’T YA?” like don’t get me wrong, love a good sarcastic little shit comment like that, but the amount of times the anime pumps Toshiro up like he’s their shinest new cash cow ( and he is, at this point, it is not even 50 episodes into the series and they’ve realized everyone likes him and he’s jumped to high ranks in popularity polls... earning him filler spotlights, and eventually his very own non-canon movie )  so everything coming out of Gin’s mouth feels like more bullshit than necessary. Izuru’s already literally monologued, internally, how powerful and amazing Toshiro is anyways. Why this ?
          Not to mention that, prior to saying that long-winded shit, Gin’s haori changed length three times  ( and once it was longer than his entire body by several feet, and no not in a ‘to show motion’ way )  and most importantly Shinso was drawn, consistently, at katana-length for the duration of their little spat where the following, too, happened: Gin frog-leaps after doing a backflip, Toshiro gives Gin two (2) haircuts, Gin ruins some floorboards and gives Toshiro at least one splinter in his arm, Toshiro whilst wearing socks lands on Shinso’s blunt edge and pushes the sword down with his footsie because that’s how that works, there’s another backflip somewhere in there that Gin doesn’t need to be doing, twirl, twirl, and ballet, Gin’s face elongates until his chin is bigger than his face, Gin spends ten+ seconds purely dodging very close strikes to his face as Toshiro is the only one making breathy growly and ‘tsuuaaah’ sounds, there is a brief moment of no gravity as Toshiro keeps hacking at Gin midair and Gin blocks it over and over again but they still stay in the air but they’re not standing or jumping or using reiatsu they’re just like, momentum-locked I don’t fucking know, Gin frowny faces as he blocks because like somehow this kid who doesn’t even have more reiatsu than him, whose arm strength should not be an issue, is like. making him nervous?? as sword sparks fly. if you know me at all you know I hate when they fuckin’ firework sparkler-ify swords clashing.
          Anyways, all of this happens whilst Shinso is the wrong length and Gin’s hair is getting purpler by the second and this entire thing is somehow a big jack-off to Toshiro’s immense strength even though he’s screaming and wailing at Gin like a child and Gin’s just a vessel at this point to Enhance Toshiro, which, fine, okay, but at least be more accurate with it god damn. ANYWAYS,
          THEY JOUST. They literally run at each other, swords centered, and run past / to the side of one another. Jousting. “Cause that’s how that works. No slashes, no cutting motion. Just swords centered, because the animators were like “no worries guys I know swordfighting basics that’s a legit pose” yeah it is WHEN STATIONARY. Not rUNNING IT DOWN.
          And then Gin’s sleeve is cut, somehow, from the Jousting, because wow Toshiro wow wow wowowowow, and then Toshiro comes back and starts wailing at Gin again and Gin blocks it, again, and it’s all very annoyingly repetitive, and Gin’s frowning and sparks are flying and Gin’s using Shinso, the katana-length wakizashi I guess, with two hands because like I said, the animators knew basics and basics are “katana are used two-handed” like. Okay, you’re not wrong, but I cannot stress this enough: SHINSO IS NOT A KATANA. It’s shorter and meant to be used single-handed!!!! sTop!!! So then Gin rips off the tattered part of his sleeve and throws it at Toshiro, who swipes it away from his face using his Zanpakuto because that’s intelligent and a piece of cloth was definitely threatening enough to use your sword to bat it away  ( btw, Hitsugaya wasn’t holding his sword with two hands at this precise moment, so he could have just... used his other hand )  and then Gin goes in for the classic “stabby stabby rapidly at you while the animation gets a little breather because we repeat this cycle a few times with flashy bgs and phew money made” ... WE ARE FOUR MINUTES AND THIRTY SECONDS INTO THIS FIGHT BY THE WAY. Gin does this for seventeen (17) agonizing seconds straight. Yes, I counted. That was sixteen and a half too many seconds for me, personally.
          Toshiro somehow lassos Shinso whilst Gin is stabby stabby-ing with Hyourinmaru’s chain component. I say component like it’s somehow some type of beauty guru’s lipstick holder, but really am I that wrong ? When else has he ever used this feature ? Anyways, he lassos Shinso because yeehaw I guess, god I’m falling apart at this point can y’all tell????? I need a drink.
          and so, because now Toshiro has Gin’s sword somehow trapped with chain even though it’s just looped around it, he backflips over Gin for a cool trickshot, no blow issued, just vibes, and Gin uses a big brain moment to tug Shinso and the chains slide off. okay now what. We’re past five minutes into this fight, nonstop.
          SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD TIME FOR GIN TO PAUSE AND APPRECIATE TOSHIRO AGAIN! “I see, I shouldn’t have underestimated you, HItsugaya Toshiro” I’m starting to have a feeling Gin’s VA was told to just wing these lines because the amount of times he fills silences / Gin’s mouth movements with Toshiro’s long-ass name is astounding, he’s definitely drawing blanks here but he sure as hell knows one thing: that damn ice-boy’s name. He continues by saying “I suppose I’ll end up regretting it afterwards.”
          Toshiro says that’s not enough, and it’s really dramatic and cool. His eyes even glow all icy and blue and pretty, like his flowy reiatsu. Aesthetic points were gifted entirely to Toshiro’s animations in this scene. Gin was finished in MS Paint and each new scene they had to draw Shinso from memory and try to remember what hue of purple his hair was at gunpoint. Toshiro lets off a big wave of reiatsu and then it vanishes, and he jumps up reaaaally high. like this guy’s flying. his eyes arent glowing anymore that’s sad. Bring Back Glowing Eyes For Strong Shinigami 2k21.
          Toshiro releases his Shikai, and it’s badass, the sky darkens, Izuru looks distinctly more worried than usual, and Gin’s frowning with his teeth out like Bugs Bunny’s having a bad day, all is right in the world. Toshiro and his released Shikai have a nice moment for the Pics, and a big epic freeze frame blur moment happens with it all coiled and swirling around him. Wrow!  ( click the ‘wrow’ it’s a link to my exact reaction )  Izuru narrates for the third time about how powerful Toshiro is, his reiatsu, his Zanpakuto being a deity who is only unlocked every few centuries. The strongest ice-type sword. Pardon the pun, but that’s... you could say, so cool.
          It can even control the weather. So hey, next time it’s rainy, cold, icy, or snowing and you’re unhappy, it’s time to direct a big fuck you at Toshiro.
          Gin dodges the first dragon, and blocks the second with Shinso because blocking water and ice with a sword makes sense right? This actually takes a solid amount of seconds as Gin cuts through the entire length of this ice dragon noodle. Things dissipate, and pause, too, to really drag this out. Surprisingly, this reveals that Gin’s made a boo-boo, his left arm’s frozen, which doesn’t even mean anything because Gin is right-handed, and Toshiro teleports himself behind Gin in true fighty fashion.
          We have arrived at seven minutes and just under twenty seconds of this fight, and Gin turns, DOES THE UNTHINKABLE, gasp! He opens his eyes. His red, dull, evil, gray-eyebrowed with purple hair eyes, and shoots Shinso through its hideout spot behind his haori. This nearly takes off Toshiro’s eye and upwards of his head, but the little guy dives down fast. The rest happens in slow motion, supposedly, because it takes an eternity and people talk entire full sentences in its span of time.
          Gin asks Toshiro if he’s sure he’d like to dodge that  ( it’s a little late for that ) and says that Momo’ll die if he does. SHINSO SCRAPING ALONG AGAINST HYOURINMARU STRANGELY MAKES NOT A SINGLE SOUND. Mute. Even though before they had no problem animating and adding sounds to them smacking blades earlier. There are soundless sparks though, so there’s that. Yay. Can you tell how exhausted this’s made me? I need a nap.
          Shinso is already more than halfway towards Momo, still unconscious, she most definitely has a serious concussion via Toshiro backhanding her midair consider she’s been unconscious for longer than ten minutes. Toshiro has time to get up off the floor where he dropped to dodge, realize with a shocked gasp, turn, shout her name, and watch as Rangiku arrives in a random glow of gold which never happens ever again and blocks the attack with Haineko. Haineko almost cracks on the impact, and continues growing in damage as Rangiku holds Shinso there, implying that she’s stopped it from reaching one-hundred sword’s lengths to pierce Momo. Yes I’m including that implication / note in here because we love to see Rangiku succeeding in life and being Not-Helpless, all while potentially damaging Haineko severely if it wasn’t able to hold him off. Yikes, Gin!
          Rangiku threatens to join the fight if he doesn’t withdraw his sword. Gin smiles, withdraws it, and then Shunpos away.
          Whatta mess. Oh, and the anime fight was pretty fucked up, too.
          This is a long post, but here’s the manga version:
Toshiro leaps into the air,
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This is where the fight actually starts between them:
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And end. 
Five pages. Two blows. Does not equate to ten minutes of non-stop fighting and monologues. Sometimes, and I mean this in the most unbiased way possible, less is more.
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daughterofhel · 3 years
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My icon died last night.
The little black and white cat, Auk (or-ick). A silly name from a badly remembered name from my childhood.
He was pretty much deaf; car got him.
I haven’t seen him since I left Texas, as I moved for a year to VA before finally moving to be with my wife in Vento. One of my guy friends family took him in on their ranch.
It was fitting; I did get Auk from a ranch. He was used to it, loved it even. And this was without the competition of an unhealthy amount of breeding stays like the ones I grabbed him and Ivy up from. I could only take two, my friend the same.
Funny. I had originally gone there to see the birth of a colt only to leave with a cat. Return the next day and get one more, a friend for my tiny runt of a thing.
And who should but all demand it be him to leave with me but Auk? The friendliest of cats that I’ve ever had the pleasure to be around. He also thwarted my attempts at having two girl cats. He was insistent to leave with me and you don’t argue when you’re chosen you know?
I won’t detail the tears following or the rough road and chaos that went on, but many double shifts back to back to back endlessly, a medicated clumsy grandmother with rapidly failing health, and complex roommate situations, I just wasn’t able to provide the needed time and care for my cats.
I cried the entire 45 minute drive to my buddys property when he said he could take them in. I had to pull over twice. They also cried the entire time, being afraid of the car, which made it harder. My buddy, He was the same guy who rescued a big pup clearly abandoned some years back. I had helped train him to not jump on people and other stuff. His folks also owned a longhorn ranch, lots and lots of space.
Those cats deserved better and this was a familiar element, now neutered, vaccinated, and with no stray competition and the dog was so careful. But god. I never wanted to say goodbye to my cats. It didn’t matter though, what I wanted; they needed care and time I wasn’t able to keep providing.
So I dropped them off. As expected, Ivy kept close but never got too close to the family. She simply doesn’t trust; I’ve no idea why such a little thing bonded instantly with me and remained quite the fixed cuddle bug. But she had. I felt worse about it with her than Auk if I’m to be honest.
Auk loved attention. Loved fetch. Belly rubs. This cat was a classic dog and a huge whore for attention. XD He essentially made himself at home and lavished any and all attention, to which my buddies mother instantly fell for this fuzzy dorks charms. He has been well cared for.
I know younger me could’ve and should’ve done better when I got these cats. Mind you, I’ve been gone for over 10 years now, so it has been quite some time. I’m doing what I wish I could have done for my cats then with the two rescues we got last year here.
I was young and working so many hours for nearly no profit after stuff was paid, even living at home and with roommates. I couldn’t afford the extra vet fees I needed or the fanciest of foods or any of that. I loved them, and I felt them being with me instead of the half starving state they were in from constantly competing with so many other cats, was still a better option for them. I still was at least able to do some of the important visits for them.
I cleared their fleas and earmites. I never did get rid of Ivys worms, though I desperately tried. I tried so many ways to get this pill into that cat. Even crushed into wet food. Friends helping to wrap and hold her to make her swallow. All the tricks we found, failed. She just. She wouldn’t take it. And I didn’t have the cash to go every single day and time she needed a dose to a pet clinic. I had checked more than once. It was so much money.
Older, better situated now.. I’ve been able to do right by the cats, Nyx and Tivali, that I have now.
We even saved Nyx’s eye. We have a system to give her her seizure medicine every 12 hours. They’re both fully up to date with their shots and are fixed. Ears totally clean. Monthly newly added anti flea tick collars.
The best food we can reasonably find at the local pet shop; their pelts are beautiful, soft, shiny, and they never smell.
We’ve even found a biodegradable corn based litter we can flush which has been the greatest find.
We get semi regular check ups on our girls and they’re doing just fine now. I’m still proud about saving Nyx’s eye. It was a tedious ordeal. 3-4 times a day we had to clean and medicate a cats eye. We got good at it even if she wasn’t fond of it. Thankfully the vitamins they required were like treats. Even the antibiotics from the colds they had from the shelter.
I miss Auk. And Ivy. And I wish I could’ve not only given them the life I’ve given my current cats now, (I’ve constructed basket beds, hammocks, a whole canopy jungle gym and rope bridge to boot for them with my wife!), but I wish I could have been the one to have them in my life still. I know it was not possible. It wouldn’t have been possible.
But I think of them. A lot. And I knew it was inevitable. Auk would’ve been well over 13 or so years by now. A little old but could’ve lived longer yet for sure. My buddy didn’t mention he has gone deaf. Of course he rarely goes home himself; I don’t blame him. Life’s complicated.
I have mourned these two cats multiple times now. So I’m not thrown into tears upon this news, I’ve cried plenty over the years already. But I’m still sad to hear that fuzzy delight has passed on. I won’t ask, but I hope, and believe, the accident was a quick end for such a friendly guy.
I’ll mourn him eventually in full. I know I will. But considering this is the fourth major bad news I’ve gotten in less than a month and most of it a week, I thought to write about it. If only to keep sane.
May I not receive the same news of my grandmother or my sister who both remain in the hospital.
And god. May my mother stop forcing me to recall and talk about our shared trauma under my father and just keep me up to date on my families health. I don’t want to be crushed under this suffocating vice on my neck that makes me hesitate to call and see my family. I know she needs to vent. And god. I try to let her. I do. I try to be kind; she needs it.
But it isn’t the time and place when I’m trying to figure out if my grandmother is dying or getting better. I shouldn’t have to receive that confirmation, be granted a brief video called hello and check in, with the price of an hour long dredge through a past I personally have gone to two different types of therapy through to try and cope with. Which, only to some degree, have helped.
One of the last longer calls we had she all but said she hoped her theories on my father possible molesting me were true, so, you know, that would be one more trauma we had in common. She went on and on, even trying to provide loose evidence to her theory. Troubling sentences I would say in my rare visits. Etc. She just. Wouldn’t. Stop. And that was after an hour of recalling how terrible her life was with my father and the abuse, the screaming, the terror, the hiding, the injuries, all of it. As if I wasn’t left to live my life with this very man she said her three years with ruined her more than all her past shit combined.
She assured me she was a good mother who tried. And honestly. No. But I do believe she tried. But she was already weak emotionally and mentally and my father wrecked what was left. She left me sometimes for a couple days lock in that house when I was in diapers. You don’t forget that shit. I’m still scared of the dark. I can’t reason with myself on it. But being mad about all of it doesn’t change anything and would hurt a woman already broken. Why would I do that.
Still. It bothers me. So fucking much. But she’s such a fragile person in a fragile emotional state with everything else on top. She’s been heavily depressed for many many years and it’s a bunch of other stuff that spirals and honestly, at this point, she’s toxic even to herself. I’ve tried working on it with her but it matters not if she’s not willing to work on it too. I don’t know my mother besides her many traumas. We’ve been separated and estranged for most of my life. Unless I was physically able to actually be there and provide a use.
But that’s par for the course; no one will have you around if you’re unable to provide something for it. My wife’s the first person who genuinely seems to enjoy having me around just because and wants nothing more. I do stuff of course; but with her I am not afraid a slip up could mean everything it taken away and lost. I can forget the dishes once or had a bad mental health day and stay in bed without it having catastrophic consequences. She’s such a wonderful kind woman; I cannot help stressing over how to repay her.
I try and I’ve expressed my distraught on the topic and though she always seems baffled and confused about my insistence that I should be doing far more, that lass doesn’t agree at all. It’s her parents home so I am not able to freely run the house as I would on our own, as I’m able and have in many places, so I’m often less useful with the restrictions. She’s also use to the flow and swing of things and has things half done before it’s being asked.
Our own place will make life smoother and calmer for both of us; most importantly her. I’ve watched this family, sweet, but absolutely tone deaf to how many and often their demands are tossed to her. All the other kids moved out with partners. Hell, the oldest s child basically lives here. Our own hurdle with raising a kid who we don’t have the final say on any single thing. His grandparents are enablers cuz they don’t want to hear any loud noises, no matter what. And that causes strain when the kid can and does get anything and everything as long as he kicks up a fit. And he sure as hell does. There are days it’s so bad my wife’s in tears. And that pisses me off. The kids a good person, but the fact no one will actually parent and draw definite lines and be firm with No’s can also make him horrible too.
I’ve to deal with the chess match that is my father. I often call him my own personal Devil. He kind of is. But one I’m familiar enough with at this point in my life. I know where and when to cut my losses, where to step around, when I need to swallow my pride or the easily seen through lies, and nod my head. If he was all terrible, I could have cut him from my life. But no one ever really is. And I do know I owe it to the man; he has helped tremendously in my life as much as he’s been a big problem of it. I know his biggest fear is to be alone and forgotten. I wouldn’t do that, not even to the devil.
I need some bland news. Not thrilling. Not depressing. Just some ‘hey that happened’ ‘oh cool.’ Kind of news. Just a small reprieve.
Im. Scared. Of what’s next.
I. Know that things are teetering dangerously into a very very tragic terrible story on my mothers end. I know her husbands already super suicidal. My half brothers severely autistic, non verbal, among a few other things and will require his whole life to have someone be there for him. He’s not stupid, and I hate when people treat him as so, but he is absolutely unable to care for himself. He doesn’t have the right motorskills even, though we’ve gone to many different places to try and help him find ways to do actions in his own way that still get the same result. I admire how he’s such a positive little man, generally not just happy, but delighted. I aspire to look at the world like he does. He reminds me to try. I do love that about him.
He is, however, a Big boy, 15 now, and growing. He’s also very strong now. My mother is getting to an age where his, as well call em happy slaps, are really hurting her. He is generally good about slapping your hands and not your back if you provide them. But when he is upset he is a shover; one bad fall could really cause a lot of chaos for my mother with her health. The husband spends most of his time locked in his room.
My half sister is epileptic. They have done tests for years and can’t figure out all her triggers or the whys. They just sometimes stop for a long time then suddenly happen. She’s 16, turning 17 soon. And I don’t even know if she’s going to be, since my mother won’t let me know. And there are large gaps from my sister being on tech due to concerns of what triggered her seizure this time so she’s often removed from electronic devices for a time.
When I had turned 21, my mother and her husband tried to have me sign a paper to become legal guardian of my half siblings, should something happen to them, so the kids didn’t get separated.
At that time, I was still taking care of my fathers mother along with working at a shit job, and had a house full of temporary roommates who I had offered rooms to as a sort of safe house for them. I have a knack for finding people from broken homes, what can I say? With the house my father and I built, we had space, so I used it. I was able to help the girls get out of toxic places, get on their feet, and move on. Not all of them always. But it did generally work out. One has a boyfriend who was growing worse to her on top of getting more and more into hard drugs while also she dealing with an abusive aunt who got worse once her mother died of cancer. So she was stuck with the terrible boyfriend. I had her stay with me as soon as I heard.
Another was complicated, but generally revolved around the alcoholic mother and the many, shady, men in and out of the house. The dangers of that alone were.. problematic without the friend also being suicidal and not taken seriously. I’ve stayed many times with her to just hang out, clean, cook, or even read a book cuz she just wanted to hear someone talking and such. You know? Until eventually I had her move in with me too.
Another’s mothers died of a cancer and dad an alcoholic; not abusive, he just became childlike and super forgetful. To a hurtful degree in his totally dependent state, whenever he was home. Plus their whole little trailer smelled of piss. And her boyfriend (they’re married with kids and happy now) was in jail. He had a bad past but had cleaned up his act quite well, but. Well that’s complicated. We all know that the police don’t squint at details of any issue if the accused has a problematic past.
I had two different girls with trouble at home who were being used by their family to constantly work, clean, and pay for everything.
I had an ex and her girlfriend with problematic homophobic parents who were terrible and semi violent so I had them stay with us so they could be together somewhere safer.
I did not. At all. Have the assured means to also be a parent of ten children with very different needs nor any medical benefits to help out with.
I also knew, that, with how my mothers husband was, if he had some guarantees for his children’s safety, he would likely end his life if he could. He’s been so close so many times. If signed this paper, he would have the last big most important concern that’s kept him from.. I just. I didn’t want him to do it. I selfishly didn’t want to be responsible for my siblings that would take away any bit of time I had for myself away. If anything happened, I would not abandon and forget my siblings. That’s absurd. But my mother implied heavily she wanted to be sure of that. And thus this paper.
I was struggling to find aid for college so I could go to school (never got to, by the way. Minus two classes in total. Aced them both, but it doesn’t matter. Credits in the wind). I was already dealing with my grandmother. The girls I chose to help. My shit job. My fathers temper and his horrible horrible ‘on again off again’ girlfriend. The chaos that alone committed.
I was busy providing a safe space in my home and making sure it stayed that way for the rare times trouble makers made the mistake of stepping up to my door to try and harass my girls.
I often worked 10 days in a row before a day off. Many of those days often had double shifts which were 16 hours. Sometimes I got an hour nap on the double shifts.
I just couldn’t do it.
And now. I remember something that came to mind back then that comes back to mind now. My moms husband adores my grandma. She’s been better to him than his own mother. She’s dying. He’s not taking it well and his mental health has always been pretty low and in the last couple years, already dangerously rock bottom. I’ll admit, same.
His daughter is now in the hospital. My brother is smart but there are some things we can’t really explain for him to get. He understands something is wrong but not sure what and it upsets him. He doesn’t like change and gets super fussy for it. Which can be taxing and hours and days and weeks of it. Grandmas been in the hospital for a couple more or more now. She coded a few days ago but they got her back.
If grandma dies. If something happens to my sister…
God. I don’t see that man sticking around.
And with my mom isolated. A lot of it her doing with her own family but also a good part of it being dumb petty bs of other folks that have no reason to behave like that (a whole drama I don’t have the energy to keep up with..). I just.
I see it as a domino effect of terrible terrible events I don’t want to write.
My mothers side im not very close to. I don’t blame my cousins, we were kids ajd our meetings were brief as they were. But the adults kept their distance with me. No one expected me to survive and decided it was easier to not get attached. To not get involved with me, and by extension, the devil himself, my father. So I never got the chance to know that family. Even when I tried.
So the only family I do have some ties to ajd know, is in a hospital bed, or on my dads side, and they’re dying to. And I get it… that at a certain age in life, many of the people around you start to. It’s just life. Ajd it sucks. And I miss having a best friend. I miss having friends who just seem to like to have me around. Want to have me around.
And I wonder if the friends I thought I made with my roommates were just because I provided something for them. Sure we laughed a lot, we cried over shared traumas, celebrated holidays together so as to not be alone.
But not a one speaks to me now. And hey. That’s also life. But it makes me feel pretty shitty; every where I look in the past, I can’t see any relationship, family, partner, friendship, that ever had me around unless I was providing services they wanted and needed. And I don’t mean the natural give and take.
I’m aware that I’m not the friend folks have around. I’m a fun distraction at best and have been told and reminded as such. I feel like shit cuz my wife’s wonderful and the best person in my life, and yet I still mourn having close friends to hang with. I miss gaming together the most. Or the bullshitting. Sharing food.
I’m not a nice person. I’m working on it. I am. I’ve also, for years, been working on my own personal problems so as to not bring them into even conversations. I don’t know what I am doing wrong but I just.. can’t seem to keep anyone around. And frankly.
I find myself crying about it a lot with no idea what to do.
And. I’m burnt out.
I don’t want to make friends anymore. And yet I still crave it. Which sucks. I can’t stop seeming to want that. And I keep trying. And trying.
I’m trying to accept and be happy with any bit of time I get from the few friends who talk to me. I try to take my chances where I can to hang out (online, as they’re all distance by now), cuz I know it’s a short window and I’ll be lucky to get a next time in the near future.
Online is harder to provide a use, and once the ‘honeymoon phase’ of the friendship winds down, some drop off the map entirely. A few abruptly. And I just. That’s fucked me ho a ton. I can’t even express how many hours I stay sitting. Thinking. Unable to understand what I am not doing or what I am.
It’s a pity party. I know. But it’s fine. I’m still the only one at it and though I’m quite forward even with nerves eating away at me, I still just don’t know how to keep anyone in my life.
It’s taken almost 6 years for me to relax enough to believe my wife will, in fact, stick around.
But at this point in time, I’ve realized, on a note I just keep getting really sad over, that the bits of friendship I’ll get to experience with people, will be brief, snippets, and frankly, only if I am providing something they’re not getting.
I’m essentially the magazine next to the toilet when you have a bad bad stomach bug and your phones dead.
Man’s that’s.. probably my own doing. I know I’m a lot of woe is me in here. And it’s a post talking to me, so I’m indulging in it. I absolutely can’t out loud or in life. I’m working on just.. trying to feel instead of ignoring it. Per my therapists suggestions. So I feel fucking overwhelmed, sad, and alone. Isolated. Heavily.
Ignorance is bliss for real. I wish I wasn’t so aware that I was the friend you go to when all options are down and you’re bored. When you are in a bind and need a safe spot (I don’t mind that one but it does suck that it’s the only time some folks pop back in or up). That if I’m not working then no one even has a small little want to just say hi. I wish I had people who just wanted to say hi because they just.. missed me? I gues?
I wish I knew how to be better as a person and a friend. I thought I was making strides on that. I really had. And yet.
Here I am. Just.
Bitching to the void. Becuase my wife doesn’t need me to add more to her life with her father (finally back from the hospital after surgery) and his health concerned along with everyone else’s and the own sets of ordeals here. I don’t need her to fret over me.
She’s needed distraction and I’ve left her alone for a couple weeks now to her drawing. Probably one of the best things I did do for her was clean up a space for a literal drawing room for her. She’s happier for it. People compliment her art and she rather enjoys the well deserved attention.
I personally would love to have her around more. But I’m having a lot of bad shit days. Weeks at this point. And I’m using my energy to be useful in setting the table or doing the dishes, the cats, playing with the nephew, etc.
All I want to do is sleep.
Frankly. I’m tired of waking up.
But for her. I will.
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ververa · 4 years
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All or Nothing
A/N: So, I kinda turned it into a pretty long story. It’s far more longer than I’ve planned and I keep coming up with more and more things, that’s why I need to divide it into parts. 
You really need to yell at me or something to keep it shorter and stop complicating thigs lol
Also I need to give a shout-out to @make--your--life--spectacular who is helping me a lot <3 
Hope you’ll enjoy it. I promise things will be far more interesting in further parts.
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Lana Winters x fem!Reader
Words: 2.053
 Lana was the woman who broke the mould. She was the embodiment of woman’s strength. No wonder, she became a role model for young feminists, including you. You adored her from the moment you saw her on TV for the first time. She wasn’t even famous yet, and you already were her biggest fan. For some reason you felt like the two of you had a lot in common and would get on well with each other. Yet you were just a teenager – a rebellious girl who grew up in a very conservative family. It was always clear that you weren’t like other girls. You didn’t want to get married or have children. You wanted to study and explore the world. You wanted to change the world and inspire people the way Lana had inspired you. And so you decided to be a journalist.
It wasn’t always easy, but you were a fighter, just like Lana. And even though life lavished both of you with a lot of obstacles, you didn’t give up. You weren’t that type who give up easily. And even though, you had to go through a lot on your way to the aim, you knew it was worth it.
After publishing her book Lana was on top of everything. She was on top of her career, fame and life. At least it seemed like that. She succeeded and was in charge. Everyone not only wanted, but paid for listening to her. She got the power that was unimaginable and finally, for once, everyone was taking her seriously. You wanted the same thing for yourself. And who else could understand it better if not Lana Winters herself?
That’s what you thought going to a job interview at the magazine in which she was the boss. Little did you know that getting to Lana wasn’t going to be as easy as you had thought. She was a chief editor and didn’t bother to participate in the process of recruiting new journalists. She simply didn’t have time for it and didn’t really care. Lana was a busy woman. There were always a lot of thing she needed to do, a lot of places she should be at and a lot of things she wanted to write about. She rarely met with anyone, especially the ‘young staff’ - as they called it - because for her the best way to get to know them was by reading their articles. It was, in fact, that part of her job that she hated. She found them all incompetent and stupid. Their works always needed to be corrected or changed completely in order to make sense at all. Lana often complained that there were no real journalists anymore. And that’s when you appeared and became a member of the staff.
It wasn’t clear for you how or why you managed to get the job, as there were a lot of people who were more experienced than you, but you weren’t going to complain. Working for Lana Winters was like a dream come true. She was the person you looked up to the most, so you were ready to do anything just to meet her. You were young and full of energy. You wanted to change the world and you put a lot of effort into making it happen. Yet you weren’t really ready for a reality check. It was all going too well to be real, you thought, but you were an optimist, so you wanted to believe that after all you had been through it was finally going to be okay. Though, as usually, life wasn’t going to go easy on you.
As you got the job it turned out that you were not only the youngest one, but also the only female member of the staff. That made everything twice as hard, but it didn’t discourage you. You kept on doing your best, believing that it would lead you where you wanted to be. But still there was a long way for you to go before achieving anything.
It wasn’t all that bad at first. They seemed to be pretty nice and friendly, but you soon realized it was only an illusion. In reality they were all awful and treat you horribly. They didn’t take you seriously, even kind of discriminated you, simply because you were a woman. Instead of letting you write they treated you more like some servant. And you were well aware that you wouldn’t be able to achieve your goal if you kept on making tea or coffee. That’s why you decided to do something about it. 
Since Lana didn’t have her own family she had pretty much time to focus on her job. She loved writing, but besides being the best journalist she also wanted to help her staff develop. Or rather make sure that her workers were good writers, because obviously, in Lana’s team there was no place for incompetent morons. Her time was precious, but giving her attention to that matter every weekend didn’t seem to be a total waste of time.
 As a boss Lana was able to lay down her own rules. And she did make quite a lot of them. One of them was making you write an article for her every week. It was her way of checking if you were making any progress in your writing and if you paid any attention at all to the corrections she had made in your previous works. It also enabled her to keep track of you developing your writing skills. 
 Whether you liked it or not, all of you had to follow Lana’s rules. You didn’t mind, but the majority of your colleagues hated it. The pressure was enormous, you couldn’t deny it. Writing for Lana was really time consuming, which was the biggest problem for all your male friends, who always complained about it. You failed to understand why they were so ignorant and didn’t take it seriously. For you it was obviously a great way of improving your skills. You were also aware that if you want to keep working at the magazine and be able to work with Lana and not only for her, you needed to be better than the rest. You knew that to get her attention you needed to amaze her with your writing. Though it was pretty hard, taking into consideration that your colleagues pretty much excluded you from writing.
At the beginning you had no idea that Lana wasn’t getting your works at all. She was usually picking a few works every week and then sending them back to their authors with her corrections and suggestions. All your colleagues got their works checked at least once, but you had never got yours. That’s when you began to wonder why. You were furious when you found out that your so called friends were purposefully excluding your works. Though it began to make sense then. No wonder you never got your works proofread, since Lana hadn’t got to read any of them. You knew there was no use in confronting your colleagues about it. That wouldn’t change anything anyway. So, you decided to act the way they did. You couldn’t make them play by your rules, because treating everyone equally obviously wasn’t their thing, so you began playing by their rules. Except you were smarter than them and knew exactly that you were able to beat them even in their own game.
It was against your principles to do things like that, but since you joined the group of male writers you learned that if you wanted to achieve anything, you had to break the rules sometimes. You took the risk and replaced the envelope that your colleagues prepared - with the one that contained only your works, because you had to make sure that Lana would pick your article. It was very risky and there were only two options. You could either get all you wanted or got fired and be left with nothing, but you did it anyway.
You had always been rather a patient and calm person, but that two days of waiting were like a torture. You felt uncertain and didn’t know what to expect. Whether Lana would like your work or hate it? Whether she would be mad and fire you or not? Or what would you do if she indeed fire you? You hadn’t really thought it over and so you were dying of worry for a whole weekend. 
But as Monday arrived you didn’t need to wait too long for getting answers to all your questions. Early in the morning Lana practically dashed inside - with the white envelope and a lot of different papers in her hand. She immediately had everyone’s attention, because she had never ever appeared in that part of the office where you were working. She put all her stuff on the nearest chair and spoke up.
“Who wrote this?” she showed you a file of articles 
There was a moment of silence. It was hard to say whether she was happy or not and nobody even dared to look at her. You were about to confess it was you, but before you managed to one of your colleagues - the most annoying and self-important one spoke. 
“It was me” he said
Apparently, following the “all or nothing” rule was a thing among you. Your heart was beating so fast that you were pretty sure you may faint. What would you do if she believed him? Though luckily for you, she didn’t. 
Lana looked at him and a frown of disapproval appeared on her face.
“No, it definitely wasn’t you. I had seen your works before. You’re unable to form a grammatically correct sentence, not to mention that you have absolutely no idea what you’re writing about. Honestly, I don’t know how you managed to graduate in journalism without the ability of writing and having such a poor stock of words”
After that comment you became a little bit less stressed, you somehow found the nerve and addressed her.
“I wrote it” you said coming out from behind the desk
Lana turned around immediately as she heard your voice. She smiled with satisfaction, as she had already known it must have been a woman, who wrote the article.
“Well” she began “I must admit I haven’t seen such a great work in a while”
You looked at her surprised. For a moment you felt dizzy and didn’t know whether it was because you were talking to your idol or because all the stress and uncertainty were finally gone.
“Thank you, Miss Winters” you managed to say
“Oh, you’re welcome, sweetheart. Please, come to my office in an hour. I’d like to talk to you some more and get a few things straight”
“Of course” you nodded still shocked
Lana smiled at you and was about to take her things and make her way to her own office, when your colleague - the one who had spoken before - started an argument. 
“It can’t have been her. That must be a mistake”
Lana stopped in her tracks and took a deep breath - she was already done with him, but turned to face him once again.
“Why is that?” she asked 
“Because…” he started, but couldn’t find the words
“Yes?” Lana crossed her arms on her chest
“Because she’s a woman!” 
“So am I. Is that a problem for you?”
“I mean no… But you... you are Lana Winters and… and…” he kept stuttering 
“Listen to me” Lana said sternly “There’s no place for sexism in my team. Everyone is equal regardless of their sex, race or whatever. If you want to be noticed you need to be good at your job. That's how it works here”
“You chose her because she’s a woman and as we all know you like girls” he complained
Lana inhaled sharply. Her hands clenched into fists, but she remained calm.
“I see, you don’t get it. Well, I think in this case we won’t be able to work together anymore” she said 
“W-what?”
“Which part you don’t understand? Clean your desk and get out!” with that Lana disappeared leaving everyone speechless
You knew that everything was about to change. All you had to do was to wait one more hour.
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strawberrysoup · 4 years
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Yes, Sheriff || Chapter 1
Sheriff Carol Danvers takes her job of protecting the citizens of her small town very seriously — there are just some that she cares about more than others. A lot more, in fact, and she will take care of her sweet baby girl whether she likes it or not. 
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relationship: Carol Danvers/Reader rating: Explicit chapters: 1/? length: 5,413 warnings: Dark Carol Danvers, coercion, manipulation, noncon and dubcon sexual situations, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat  additional warnings: open the read more and CTRL + F, search “content warnings” to skip to detailed trigger warnings at the bottom of the chapter. 
This is my entry for searchforanotherway’s Onyx Night Challenge! My plan is for this story to span several chapters, so it certainly won’t be finished by the deadline of January 11th but I wanted to try and write a fic longer than just a oneshot. That being said this chapter can stand alone and doesn’t have to be read in conjunction with other chapters for plot coherency or effect. Oh, also please keep in mind that I’ve never written a reader insert before, so go easy on me if anything seems off! 
Being the sheriff of a very small town and the rather empty surrounding county came with some very particular challenges Carol hadn’t necessarily expected when she signed on. Burgess was mostly concentrated in a small area where the main town was built, about three or four streets worth of businesses. Beyond that were what they jokingly referred to within the department as the Suburbs, mostly cute little farmhouses with plenty of space in between. Of course, the distance between plots hadn’t done them any good when the fire broke out about 6 years ago, before Carol signed on with the department, and had taken out 12 houses. 36 people had died, the fire was so hot and spread so fast through the 100 year old homes the volunteer fire department had barely been able to keep it from jumping the road. 
Y/N’s parents, her only family, had been 2 of the casualties. She would’ve been too, had she not been spending the night at a friends house on the other side of the Suburbs. From what Carol had been able to gather, the young woman had just graduated from getting her Masters degree in library sciences and had intended to only move back home for a little while before moving to the city permanently. The death of her parents had destroyed many of her plans, especially when she had to deal with so much fallout from the insurance companies and lawyers. Luckily her family had owned the land her house sat on, the money from the home insurance had come through and y/n inherited everything. She’d rebuilt the house, smaller but just as old fashioned in design, and taken a job as the town’s librarian, enabling the previous one to retire (the woman had been older, didn’t actually have the education necessary to be a librarian and was happy to step aside so sweet little y/n could have the position). 
Most of the town seemed to have a soft spot for y/n. When Carol first started, the entire population had been leery of her. She’d expected it, luckily, and wasn’t shocked by the reserved nature of the people she served. She was relatively shocked when they started accepting her presence, their topics of conversation ranging from now the town fair is very important around here so you need to handle it correctly—those townies will run amok if you’re not careful to do you think you could drive past the library this evening while y/n walks to her car? I get so worried when she’s out late like that with no one around. It was consistent that the townsfolk would find a way to wriggle y/n into conversation but they didn’t seem to know it was a collective issue; every person who asked her devote some extra attention to the young woman did so covertly, as if to prevent anyone from knowing. It was endearing and cute and Carol honestly didn’t have much to do most of the time so she didn’t mind the little side tasks. 
The small town and county police department was made up of 90% locals who were happy to respond to most calls. They mostly dealt with domestics and property violations, occasionally some sort of larceny or robbery or breaking and entering calls. Wilson and Barnes were trained paramedics and dealt with the medical calls, luckily, although when she rolled into town Carol had forced all of her deputies to get certified in multiple emergency life saving techniques. The nearest ambulance dispatch was an hour away and she was baffled the former Sheriff hadn’t enforced even basic CPR certifications. Rogers, one of her two deputies, handled most of the domestics with Carol as his back up if necessary (it was almost never necessary, even if Rogers didn’t have that disarming Good Ol’ Boy Charm he had biceps as wide as y/n’s thighs and could handle most things on his own). Rhodes, her second deputy, was good for dealing with bored teenagers who liked to play at crime, breaking and entering and minor burglary, along with trespassing. Property violations and agricultural issues were big in a town like Burgess too, but Odinson (another transplant like herself) had grown up in an even tinier town devoted to farming and could handle such problems in his sleep. Pietro, the youngest and greenest in the department, handled what she considered the beat; traffic and parking violations, jaywalking that caused endangerment, vandalism, etc. Most of what came down on Carol’s shoulders were the big issues—the small amount of drug situations they dealt with, any prostitution or assaults. The other officers said they liked her to be open for those sorts of calls, which left her driving around on patrol at least 50% of the time with nothing to do. 
It gave her more time to talk to locals than she expected, more time to subtly watch y/n than she could’ve ever anticipated. The more she watched her, the bigger Carol’s problem became; y/n was lovely and sweet and beautiful and Carol was finding that she had a crush on the young woman. Well, it might’ve started as a crush. Carol found herself very quickly falling down a rabbit hole of obsession and honestly wasn’t all that mad about it—the longer she watched, the more she realized how perfect y/n was, in general and for her. 
Carol had embraced her bisexuality at a young age, had dated men and women over the years but never really found anyone to her liking. She had an incredibly dominant personality, both in general and in the bedroom and finding someone willing to unconditionally follow direction was hard. Moving to a small town had seemed like a sexual death sentence in all honesty, until she came across y/n. She was so small and demure, averted her eyes and blushed constantly under Carol’s strong gaze and said yes Sheriff when prompted with the most precious drawl. Carol could look down her nose at the woman, could imagine the way she’d feel slotted right against her chest with her head tucked perfectly under her chin, knew that y/n was just short enough that she’d have to stand on her tiptoes when Carol put her thigh right between those pretty legs and made her work for her orgasm, those tiptoes slipping for purchase while her pussy ground hard into her thigh.
It had gotten harder and harder to ignore, the all too carnal desires she had for the young woman and she was relieved when she decided there was no reason to ignore them. There was no reason not to take y/n as her own— she’d take good care of her, in every way, and love her so deeply that she’d never dream of anything else, never want anyone else. Carol was meticulous and careful and manipulative, even if she pretended not to be. It wouldn’t be hard to get her right where she wanted her. 
The spark plugs in the glove box of her cruiser were a testament to that. It had been easily to quickly take them after the sun had gone down, Carol knew for a fact there weren’t security cameras anywhere nearby and there was no one around to see (usually the library was rather busy right up until close, but most of the population was at the high school football game a town over). Several of her officers were there too, Carol correctly assuming that it would be a slow night for calls. Peter Parker had offered to take the dispatch shift and run the receptionist desk so that the usual evening dispatcher, Wanda could attend the game too. 
Carol sat straighter in her seat as y/n emerged from the library, taking the time to carefully lock the doors—first the door that led straight to the her help desk and then the double doors that opened into the main library, the entrances separated by a wall between the doors and a small hallway that allowed y/n a little bit of privacy in her “office” unless someone needed extra assistance. The keys went into her purse, exchanged for her car keys with a generous pause that made Carol cringe slightly; she wished y/n would have her keys ready and out when she left the building, the long hesitation while she stood alone in the dark was ample opportunity for a mugging or abduction. She’d impress the importance of being prepared and quick once she had an opportunity that wouldn’t betray the fact she’d been watching her from afar. 
There was another uncomfortably long pause as she unlocked her car and climbed in, leaving the door open for an extended time while she settled and Carol was sure y/n didn’t lock the doors even once it was closed. It would evidently be a rather long conversation regarding safety. Carol smiled when the car didn’t start after several minutes and turned up her radio. Most of the townsfolk would call the non emergency line at the station when they had car troubles and Carol was nearly positive y/n would do the same. It took about five minutes give or take for her radio to crackle to life, Peter’s voice coming through. 
“Sheriff, Rhodey, are either of you near the library? Y/n just called in from the parking lot, she just finished closing up the building and can’t get her car to start." 
"I’m just across the street, actually— Coach Steveson asked me to make sure y/n got home alright since he figured nobody would be around because of the game,” it was true, Carol regularly got requests from different citizens asking her or the other officers to check in on people and y/n was one of the top requests, obviously, because everyone knew she was alone, “tell her to wait in her car, I’ll be over in just a second." 
"Will do, Sheriff!” There was a click and crackle on the radio and Carol smiled; Peter made an excellent receptionist but his dispatch skills could use some work and professionalism, not that she really minded the candor.
She cranked her car on and reached into the glovebox to retrieve the spark plugs she’d grabbed earlier, glancing at herself carefully in the rearview mirror. Her hair was pulled back to show off her undercut, the front in a twist away from her face with some strands having managed to escape over the course of the day. Y/n liked the undercut, evidenced by how flustered the poor thing got the first day she saw it (actually that was the day Carol realized y/n wasn’t straight, the poor thing had been so caught off guard she’d stuttered and blushed and had 100% rubbed her pretty thighs together under her skirt).
She quickly popped across the street, spark plugs tucked discreetly into her pants pocket and pulled up beside y/n’s car. The door opened immediately, much to Carol’s displeasure; she was sure Peter relayed the message that y/n was to stay in her car. The order was likely too ambiguous and Carol would be more careful in the future. 
“I’m so sorry to bother you Sheriff,” y/n started immediately as Carol exited her cruiser, “I hate to call but my car won’t start, I could pop the hood but I have no idea what I’m looking for." 
She looked embarrassed, hands twisting together at her waist and Carol had to carefully arrange her features to prevent her excitement from showing, her demure little baby was so cute, "that’s alright y/n, I always want you to call if you need help. How about you get back in and pop the hood for me, I’ll take a look." 
Y/n did so quickly before joining Carol at the front of the car, much to her amusement, "you go ahead and sit down, sweetheart, I might want you to try cranking the engine, okay? I’ll tell you when." 
The pet name was easy to pass under y/n’s radar, the endearments a regular part of the small town life. Even Carol got called sweetheart and honey on a regular basis, but it didn’t stop y/n from blushing darkly all the way down to her chest. Carol carefully kept her eyes from trailing down the neckline of y/n’s sensible tank top (it was hot as hell outside and paired with a long, flowy skirt Carol was sure anyone would think it professional enough for a small town librarian) despite the fact she desperately wanted to know if the redness spread all the way to her tits. The young woman did as directed, quickly hustling around to sit in the driver’s seat with the door open. 
It was easy to quickly reattach the spark plugs, just so that when the mechanic showed up in the morning they wouldn’t be suspiciously missing. She didn’t bother disconnecting anything else, instead staying ducked under the hood long enough to justify a good look around before standing straight and closing it. 
"There must be something going on below the surface honey, everything up here looks fine,” she stated, walking around to meet y/n as she stood up, “why don’t I give you a ride and I’ll call Tony out in the morning to take a look." 
There was a torn look on y/n’s face at the suggestion and Carol watched the gears turn in her head; leaving her car overnight in the lot wasn’t the problem, no one would tow it or anything, the problem would come in the morning when she needed to get back to the library to open. The blonde had already considered all of the options though and smiled sweetly when y/n hesitated. 
"I’m just about to get off for the night anyway, we could swing by your place and grab some of your clothes and you can stay the night at mine, I can drop you over here on my way in,” she offered, enjoying the flustered way that y/n shifted on her feet, “I guess I could just drive around to come pick you up at your place before I start my shift…" 
The sheer thought of inconveniencing the town Sheriff made y/n look like she might cry and she quickly shook her head, "no, no I can stay over tonight. I’d hate to make you go out of your way—no, thank you so much for the offer, it’s so kind thank you." 
Y/n wouldn’t look up from her feet but Carol didn’t push, couldn’t push quite yet. Instead she encouraged y/n to grab her purse and held the door of the passenger seat open while the smaller woman slipped inside. She’d call Tony in the morning, say she couldn’t find anything wrong with the car but would you please take a look for y/n’s peace of mind. The mechanic would surely be happy to help and would make up some excuse for why the car hadn’t started so y/n wouldn’t get embarrassed over not being able to properly start her car. 
The ride to y/n’s house only took about five minutes and she was quick to collect an overnight bag before running back out to the cruiser. Carol kept a very careful eye on her as she continued on to her own home, a good fifteen minutes further into the suburbs. She could tell y/n was confused, if Carol’s house was further than hers why couldn’t she stay at her own home overnight? It would’ve been on the Sheriff’s way into town, just a quick stop. But y/n was a good girl and never questioned those she considered superiors, instead just sitting in vague discomfort as they got farther and farther from her home. 
Carol lived on what was considered the very edge of town, as a new addition to the population it was hard to get a place closer, but she appreciated the the isolation. Y/n waited until Carol opened her car door to do the same, shuffling nervously along behind her up the steps. The house wasn’t as nice as the one y/n had built but it was quaint and old and smelled like all of the old houses that had survived the fire. 
"Here we go,” Carol unlocked the door and waived y/n inside with a pleasant smile, “I left dinner in a slow cooker this morning, give me just a minute to change and I’ll get it all together." 
"Oh, Sheriff, I couldn't—" 
"Of course you can sweetheart, I’d be insulted if you didn’t,” she joked with a smile, “you can put your stuff where ever, make yourself comfortable, I’ll be right back." 
Carol could tell y/n had been expecting her to show her to a bedroom and pressed her lips together; y/n would be sleeping in her bed by the end of the night but the poor thing didn’t know that and wouldn’t know what to do if Carol instructed her to put her things in there. She changed quickly, into a pair of tight joggers and a slightly cropped workout top that showed her abs—she wanted to see what shade of red y/n’s skin would turn at the sight. Plus, she had aspirations of y/n riding the hard planes of her abdomen until she came and a short shirt would make that easier if she could make it happen, no matter how far fetched the hope. 
Y/n’s eyes immediately dropped to the exposed skin when Carol returned and the blonde wanted to coo her face turned so red, it was so cute, her baby was so precious. She carefully pretended not to notice the staring, crossing into the kitchen quickly and checking on the crock pot of spicy pulled pork. 
"I could put this over a salad for you or put it on a roll, which do you prefer?” She turned back just in time to see y/n’s eyes snap up from where they’d been locked on her ass and was unable to hide the that came over her features; teasing her at this point would be a mistake, but it was so hard not to, “come over here and I’ll make you a plate honey." 
Y/n shuffled over, red faced and very obviously embarrassed to have been caught checking out the ass of the local sheriff, "just-just a sandwich, please." 
Carol made sure to pull from the bottom of the pot, where the meat would be the spiciest for y/n’s sandwich before handing her the plate and grabbing a bag of chips to go with it from the pantry. Y/n dutifully went to go sit at the table, waiting patiently while Carol fixed herself both a sandwich and a salad. She didn’t bother to ask if y/n drank, pouring them both a large glass of the strongest red wine she currently had in the house (bought specifically for this occasion) and setting one down in front of y/n. 
"This is my favourite wine,” she stated, looking to subtly manipulate y/n’s coming actions, “it’s a bit expensive but I haven’t had such lovely company over in a minute, might as well share it." 
The wine was already poured, Carol’s favourite, and it was expensive; there was no way y/n would reject it now. The food was spicy, she’d likely drink the entire glass, and with her smaller stature would certainly not be entirely herself afterwards. And poor y/n played right into her hands, following the script Carol had written in her head to a T. She got flirtier as the meal progressed, as her wine disappeared, responding to Carol’s carefully probing words beautifully. The blonde was two seconds from stealing her off her chair to sit her right on her lap when y/n gave a little sigh. 
"I think I drank a little more than I meant to,” the words were punctuated by a little hiccup and Carol cooed in response, immediately standing when y/n pressed to her feet. 
She didn’t give the shorter woman time to move too far, carefully latching an arm around her waist and drawing her in close, her other hand catching y/n’s cheek gently to direct her gaze, “that’s okay, baby, I’ll take care of you." 
Y/n took just a second longer to process than it usually would’ve taken before her cheeks darkened, her lips parting in surprise, "O-oh, I—" 
Carol hushed her gently, her lips finding purchase against y/n’s jaw and running the length of her cheek to her ear, "you’re so shy for me baby girl, it’s so precious. I’ve always wondered if that blush goes all the way to your tits." 
The tank top came off easily, y/n squeaking in shock but not fast enough to prevent her bra from following. Carol’s hands grasped her hips and she walked the smaller woman backwards until she could lift her to sit on the counter, her lips pressed hungrily against y/n’s own. Her skirt lifted easily until the fabric bunched at her waist and Carol pressed herself firmly between y/n’s thighs, happy for the extra bit of height. She wished she’d put on a strap on after changing, she could’ve slipped right into y/n’s pussy so easily at this angle.
"Wait-wait, Carol—Sh-Sheriff!" 
"You’ll feel so good after this,” Carol’s lips trailed down her cheek, to her neck and down to her pretty tits, lapping at her nipple gently, “just let me…" 
Her lips engulfed one of y/n’s nipples and she gave a deep, languid suck while the young woman on the counter writhed. One hand kept purchase on y/n’s back, a careful but firm hold to prevent her from squirming away while the other trailed down to her panty covered pussy. She was wet, a spot beginning to form on the fabric and Carol grinned. Her teeth scraped over y/n’s nipple, drawing a sharp cry from her and quickly slipped her fingers up into her wet cunt while she was distracted. Although it didn’t take long for her baby to notice the intrusion, her legs shifting and her thighs attempting to close even as Carol stood between them.
"You’re so wet, baby girl,” she cooed darkly, watching y/n’s face coloured with humiliation, “you want this so bad, don’t you? You want me to make you cum? Huh? On my fingers or my tongue?" 
"N-no, wait,” her head spun as she reached down, grabbing Carol’s wrist in a weak attempt to keep her fingers from pumping into her cunt, “Carol, I don't—" 
"When we’re fucking you call me Sheriff or Sir, do you understand?” Her thumb gave a rough pass over y/n’s clit and she jumped, a short whine escaping her even as her eyes started to shine with tears, “tell me you understand, y/n." 
"Y-yes sir,” she hiccups slightly but was rewarded with Carol’s lips returning to her nipple, tongue laving over her sensitive bud forcefully enough that y/n tried to wiggle away. 
Carol immediately withdrew her hand from y/n’s pussy and slapped her cunt hard through the fabric of her panties, earning a yelp and the blonde was forced to hold her hip tightly in place with the other hand, “you don’t try to get away from me baby, not ever." 
It was easy to lift y/n over her shoulder, her baby screeching in shock as she was forced to hang upside down. The walk to her bedroom was quick and she tossed y/n onto the bed without hesitation, absently deciding to add more weight to her workouts— she liked manhandling her baby girl and some extra training might help it go smoother, especially if y/n decided to be naughty and needed a bit of extra restraining. 
Y/n was still dizzy from the ride, too shocked to attempt to slip off the bed and simply not coordinated enough to try anything clever. Carol caught the edge of her toy box with her toe and dragged it over to the edge of the bed for easy access, slipping onto the mattress and covering y/n’s small body with hers. She quickly returned her mouth to the perky tits beneath her, lips latching onto the under stimulated nipple and sucking hard. Y/n whined him response, chest rising with each hard tug in attempts to lessen the pressure.
"I’m glad your pussy’s so wet,” Carol murmured after releasing the abused nipple with a pop, hand reaching over the edge of the bed to dig one of her smaller strap ons out of the box, “I don’t know if I have any lube." 
She whipped her top off quickly after finding the one she wanted, followed by her pants. Forgoing underwear had been convenient and she quickly worked to attach the strap on around her waist. The moment y/n realized what was happening, her face scrunched and the tears came back with a vengeance. The no trying to run away rule was obviously immediately forgotten as she scrambled for purchase on the bed, her coordination nonexistent after the strong wine. Carol reached out and easily flipped her onto her stomach, subduing her flailing limbs with ease.
"What did I say about trying to get away from me baby?” Carol yanked the skirt down over her legs, catching the waistband of her panties in the same tug and shucked both articles across the room, “now I’ve gotta punish you before I fuck you, naughty girl." 
"N-No, no! Wha—" 
Carol slapped her hand down on y/n’s ass with enough force to make her shriek, the sound lighting the blonde’s pussy up like nobody’s business. She could feel her wetness dripping, the press of the strap on over her clit delicious. When she finished up the spanking, leaving her pretty ass red and raw and painful, Carol flipped y/n onto her back once more. The yelp she let out made the blonde smile, knowing that even the soft fabric of her sheets would feel like sandpaper at the moment. 
"Awe, don’t cry baby, shhh,” Carol stretched out above her, letting the cock of her strap on drag against y/n’s wet little cunt in the process and wiped the tears away from her cheeks, “shhh, be a good girl now. You’re gonna take my cock so well, won’t you baby girl?" 
"P-please, I don't—" 
"You don’t what, baby girl? You don’t wanna take my piece?” Carol’s hand immediately found her wet pussy, scooping a good amount of arousal onto her fingers before bringing it back up to smear the moisture across y/n’s lips and cheeks, “this greedy little cunt disagrees. It wants my cock bad baby and who am I to deny this pretty pussy anything." 
The head of the strapon nudged between y/n’s pussy lips, drawing a loud whine. Her knees drew up as Carol pressed deeper and deeper and the blonde was quick to spread her thighs wide, the muscles jumping as she pressed those pretty thighs flat to the mattress. When Carol finally bottomed out, y/n was whining and squirming, hands pressed against her taut abs. The movement chafed her raw ass against the sheets and the blonde knew the pain must’ve been a sharp burn.
"Is it a lot baby?” The blonde panted slightly, clit well stimulated by the strap on, “is that a lot for your little cunny? This is one of the small ones baby girl, you better get used to the stretch." 
Carol withdrew and thrust in deeply before y/n could speak, repeating the motion roughly several times before she fell into rhythm pounding away at her pussy. Y/n wailed, her ass dragging brutally over the sheets with each sharp thrust and igniting a truly awful burn. The squelch of her pussy was obscene though and Carol shivered at the sound—she was so wet it was dripping out of her pussy, sliding down her ass crack and soaking into the bedsheets. Her mind might not’ve been entirely on board but her cunt was 100% involved, ready, and excited for the pounding even as her burning ass was rubbed raw by the bedding and the constant, torturous movement. 
"God your pussys ruining my sheets baby,” she slapped at y/n’s clit several times in rapid succession, drawing a loud wail from her lips, “your cunts so excited to be fucked, so fucking wet its gushing. You’re gonna be a good girl and cum for me, aren’t you? Cum on my cock baby girl, cum on it!" 
Y/n wailed in response, her little body pulling tight for several seconds before she came so hard her eyes rolled back and she shook. Carol fucked her through it with force, only stopping when the desperation for her own orgasm set in. She pulled her cock from y/n’s gaping pussy and removed the strap, dropping it over the side of the bed as she moved up her baby girl’s body until her cunt was positioned over that little gasping mouth. 
"Mouth open, baby girl,” she ordered, hands digging into her hair to angle her chin up, “you’re gonna eat my pussy until I cum." 
A small noise escaped y/n, some cute little grunting whine as Carol flattened her cunt over her mouth and thrust her hips forward. The drag was lovely, y/n’s open mouth warm and wet against her sopping pussy lips. 
"Use your tongue,” she ordered with a small gasp, feeling her orgasm getting closer as her hand closed over the back of y/n’s head to keep her mouth pressed firmly against against her cunt, hips rolling swiftly back and forth as she chased her own end.
She moaned loudly when little kitten licks teased her lower lips, concentrating the movement of her hips to press her clit against y/n’s tongue. The drag was wonderful, a loud cry escaped her lips as she started to cum and she doubled her efforts, fucking y/n’s face brutally into the mattress until it abated. She let her weight rest suffocatingly over y/n’s mouth and nose for several seconds, lifting up just before she could start to panic. 
“God that was even better than I could’ve imagined, you’re so good for me baby girl,” Carol slipped down her prone form, kissing her soundly but gently and licking the cum and arousal from her shell shocked face, “fuck, I knew you’d be perfect." 
Y/n looked up at the blonde with big, wet eyes even as Carol continued to whisper praises against her lips. A hand had returned to her sopping pussy, Carol collecting her cum with taunting fingers before swiping the residual from her own messy cunt as well, bringing it up to y/n’s mouth. When her baby girl’s lips didn’t open she grabbed her jaw, squeezing with increasing pressure until her mouth opened and she was able to shovel the mix of their cum into her mouth. 
"Swallow it down baby girl,” Carol cooed, hand sealing over y/n’s nose and mouth tightly until her throat visibly worked several times to swallow the load, “so good, so precious sweet girl." 
The blonde’s eyes glanced to the bedside table and she sighed lightly, ignoring the huge wet spot on the bed beneath y/n and lying to her left on the mattress. She easily pulled the smaller woman on top of her, y/n’s little waist cushioned between her sticky thighs and her head rested perfectly between Carol’s breasts. She could see the bright red, chafed skin from her position and smiled darkly—y/n would feel it for days, everytime she sat would be a reminder. 
"It’s gotten late baby, we should go to sleep. We’ll wake up early and go to breakfast at the diner before I drop you off at work,” her hands worked gently up and down y/n’s back with soft, sleepy touches, brushing the top of her ass with careful fingers. 
“I—”
Carol hushed her before she could get a word in, “go to sleep baby, the alcohol in your system must be making you drowsy by now, especially after that kind of fucking. We’ll talk in the morning." 
content warnings: alcohol consumption, nonconsenual vaginal fingering, strap on insertion and fucking, ass and pussy spanking, cunnilingus and face riding (is that what that’s called? i’m honestly not sure how to tag that), suffocation, and cum eating. hmu if i’ve missed anything. 
366 notes · View notes
spacebuck · 3 years
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Yo I've got three braincells and you've been writing for a while and I assume you have at least Four Braincells and could maybe help me? What do you do when you get stuck with a story? I don't have anyone to bounce ideas off of and that, unfortunately, seems to be the only way my thought process works through plots? Any ideas or other things I could try?? What is your process like????? Thank you!!
sorry i’m later than expected! roommate cooked dinner while I was on my way home so had to eat my one true meal of the day fghjk
okay so I have a few main things I do if I can’t plot-jam with a trusted person:
1. work on something else. i usually have two or three Main fics that I work on at any given time - if I get stuck on one, i’ll move to the next. it keeps things fresh, and gives me a chance to stew on what’s happening in the other one. it doesn’t work for everyone, to be fair, but I find it does work for me - and when I go back to the one I was stuck on, often even if I haven’t consciously worked out what to do, I can write myself out of the pickle i put myself in.
2. move on to a new scene. this one I feel can be ~controversial~ in the writing community mostly because there are many people who simply can’t just move on - I usually can’t either, but what I have figured out works for me is:
a. bullet point the rest of the scene i’m stuck on (if possible)m so I know where I want to go
b. move on to the very next scene
that way I get the beats of the scene i’m skipping, so I can trick my brain into thinking I wrote it, enabling me to move onto something that lets me reset my brain a bit.
3. take a step back and review the scene. if you’re struggling with it, or getting bored with it, it may be that it’s because it doesn’t actually need to be there, or it needs to be rejigged to work better with where you want the story to go. if you find that’s the case, don’t delete it - just start rewriting the scene again under it as you may even find you can reuse some stuff, or merge the two to get what you want out of it.
4. push through it. another potentially controversial one, but i’m of the mind that one bad sentence is better than no sentences at all, even if it takes you half an hour to get it out. you can edit a bad sentence, you can’t edit a blank page. sit down, set yourself a small goal (like one sentence or one paragraph)and just write it. if you find that things start to flow, then awesome, write more. If not, yay you got a sentence or a paragraph down, move on to #5.
5. go for a walk or drive or bike ride or run (if possible). getting outside, in the (hopefully) fresh air, and getting some exercise can let your brain have a chance to catch up, and you may start spinning ideas while you do it. if not, you got out of the house for a bit and that’s honestly far better for you than people realise. for reference, when I was writing howitzer and got stuck I would grab my skates and head down to the local rink, and remind myself why I loved the sport (and get some exercise in to get the body moving). i know it’s pandemic-times, so please only do this if it’s safe, and wear a mask.
5. go do something else completely. seems counter-intuitive right? but honestly, we’re living in unprecedented times, to use the overused phrase. we as a society are undergoing so much trauma day in and day out with no let-up, and even if we weren’t, it’s okay to rest. it’s okay to give your brain time to catch up and process things. sometimes we get writer’s block for a reason. if nothing else is working, it may be time to rotate your mental crop fields and leave the writing one fallow for a bit - unused, given a chance to recover - while you go work on a different field. that field could be anything - crafting, baking, playing a video-game, watching that tv show you’ve been meaning to, pick up that book, vacuum that couch. you could even literally do nothing at all, anything as long as it’s not writing! letting your brain rest is a huge part of the creative process, and when you’re ready to give things another go, go back to step 4 - set a little goal, see how you go.
i spent most of last year in spot number 5 - I had a lot going on irl, and needed to give myself space to deal with that. i only really started to come out of that at the end of October (which is why nanowrimo went okay) and then got slammed with renovations so I haven’t got much to show for it, but the majority of the words i’ve written this year are from November - and that’s okay!! sometimes that rest is a few hours, sometimes a few days, sometimes several months. it’s okay to need time!! if you feel like you need permission to rest, this is it - you’re allowed to!
this is longer than i’d planned (story of my life lmao) so i’m going to stop here, but I hope that’s of some use to you?? good luck finding the errant braincells!
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myulalie · 4 years
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Working with a beta-reader
More spefically, writing fanfiction with a beta-reader.
I’m making the distinction because in my experience in fandom, a beta-reader can go from cheerleading and spell-checking to being an actual critique partner and those are two different things.
In my understanding, a critique partner will give you in-depth analysis of your writing and help you improve it when it comes to plot, characterization and style.
A beta-reader is more likely to talk about how the story makes them feel, and what they get out of it (or what they expected but didn’t find) rather than give you pointers on how to fix anything.
My experience with beta-readers is fairly new and limited. I had an exceptionally good relationship with @a_taupe_fox, who worked with me for the Malec Server Mini-Bang 2020, and since then I worked loosely with one beta-reader mostly for spell-checking, and friends of mine for second opinions, occasional spell-checking and cheer-leading.
I remember being terrified of working with a beta at first, because as a writer I’m fairly territorial with my works, and I was afraid a beta-reader would headbutt with me all the way. The first thing I did was ask fellow writers about their experience with beta-reading, which led to beta-readers talking about their experience as well, and I took lots of notes.
I believe I have learned enough to tell someone about my own experience and hopefully, answer some of the questions I had back then!
Choosing your beta
I use the word “choose” losely here because sometimes you don’t have a choice to make, except telling them you’re not interested in what they have to offer. They might be the one choosing to beta-read your fic!
In order to get a hang of their personality and style, I encourage you to simply have a chat with your beta, especially if you intend to work closely with them on a longer piece.
The idea is to get a feel of the kind of person they are, as well as the basics: - age, preferred pronouns, first language and favorite genre in fanfiction, - have they read/seen the source material? - should you be awake of certain trigger warnings?
I mention first language here because I am not a native English speaker, and I believe this piece of information matters. A native English speaker will spot unusual words and sentences in your writing and offer idiomatic expressions to use instead.
Someone who shares your language and culture will understand why you made this mistake, and get the cultural references that you might use. Both have their advantages!
If your beta is a writer, I suggest having a look at what they do in order to pinpoint what you like in their work. You can then ask them to help you emulate it, or on the contrary be aware of something they tend to do and will influence their opinion, but you don’t want to write yourself.
We all have our preferences!
Even if your beta is not a writer, it’s important to determine what you expect from them:
Do you need grammar and typo edits? Are you a pantser and you need someone to help you fix plot holes?
You might want to tell them a little about yourself too, to explain your background or your writing process.
Whatever you decide, make sure to have a conversation with your beta and establish boundaries, but I’ll come back to this in a moment.
How to beta-read?
I personally share a google doc with my beta, and I give them access in suggestion mode rather than edition, because I’m interested in their comments, not how they would write the fic (tbh it's Taupe who told me to do it this way, and I agree with them).
I’m also a firm believer that you can learn from your mistakes, and I’d rather see that my beta suggested the correct spelling of a word than never realize I made a mistake.
Suggestion mode, as the name implies, enables your beta to make suggestions as well as leaving comments. This is where boundaries come into play. Everyone is different, and you need to establish what you want or need, but also what you’re not interested in.
Don’t be afraid to be upfront about it.
I personally don’t like it when someone tells me what to do, or gives me ideas. This is my story, and I want to come up with ideas and solutions myself. I will shut down if someone imposes their views on my story.
It takes a great deal of self-control to see past it and work out what I like/don’t like about their suggestion in order to come up with something on my own. I need to be clear about this from the get go.
It’s okay to disagree with your beta, and I think it’s important to be open to discussing whatever you disagree on.
Fall back on what you meant to write, tell your beta how you want to do things and their advice might come in handy.
You can also ask your beta to reduce their input according to your needs. Ultimately, the decision is yours, and if you’re not a great match and struggle to work together, you can re-evaluate their role.
You will always have the possibility to put an end to your collaboration.
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