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olivereactsaboutgarbage · 1 year

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Higurashi When They Cry - Arc 1 Chapter 12

Did you see? Did you see the punchline?

Well, punchlines aside, there’s an obvious first order of business I need to get to here: Whichever part of the Kaiji Joke was the weird fetishy one.

Rena HAS been touched before and not reacted negatively. Keiichi’s head has touched her legs and nothing bad happened at all. If you will permit me to use a meme format to reveal the truth that this has allowed me to reach...

Darkened Mind: This means Rena doesn’t have trauma related to being touched. Glowing Mind: This means Rena isn’t a robot programmed to automatically freak out upon contact with human skin, which doesn’t mean she doesn’t have trauma related to being touched. She still could, especially for when people touch her using their hands. Ascendant Human: Regardless of whether or not Rena has trauma related to being touched, she obviously can’t be boiled down to a formula of If x Then y. No human being is that predictable. Anyone can deviate from their own behavioral patterns based on any number of factors. As for what Keiichi’s head touching Rena’s legs means: Ryukishi sometimes includes creepy anime bullshit in his stories.

As for other concerns on the agenda... I’ll get to those as I go through the events of Chapter 12.

I guess I kept jerking off and nodding awake in a panic all night...

I’m not gonna add every line of narration that confirms my biases to this post because that would be every line of narration.

So... I already know that the 1st arc of Higurashi is coming to a close, but... Keiichi’s attempts to “adopt the ideal, most cautious new behaviors” and also “be so normal no one will be able to accuse him of being cautious” are so... unsustainable in the long term. You can’t just say “I happened to switch up my routine a bit today”, “It just coincidentally happened again” and so on for a month straight. ...I mean, I guess that’s where at some point Keiichi would say “I formed a new habit. No it’s not sad that I formed a habit of being more distant from you. I’m normal.” If he’s even thinking that far ahead.

This narration correlates to a specific bias I’ll mention later.

Now is that because she doesn’t want to talk about it or because she doesn’t remember.

If Keiichi hallucinating were to become an extremely common trope throughout all 8 Higurashis, lines like this would probably be essential. Or I’m overthinking things due to the nature of visual novels. In fiction, the medium is just as essential to the audience experience as the content within the medium. Even things like a “lack of content” can become content. The gutters in a comic, the negative space in an image-that-hasn’t-been-split-up-into-multiple-panels, page turns when reading a book, the week-long wait between episodes of something that gets released weekly... all of these can be narrative tools, not for conveying what happens, but for controlling the way the audience perceives the fact that it happened in the first place.

Besides character sprites, backgrounds, and audio, the thing that distinguishes a visual novel from a book is how much more frequently you need to click to advance a visual novel’s textbox compared to how frequently you need to turn a book’s pages. It renders every sentence worthy of thoughtful consideration, which could combine with the fact that writing this blog already makes me try to ponder the things I’m consuming more thoughtfully. The result would be me overthinking things.

Luckily I don’t see any evidence around here of me having overthought anything!!! (<--Keiichi moment) (Even if you assume my conclusion that Keiichi isn’t perceiving reality correctly is wrong, that means the needle he found definitely existed, which means he lost track of a needle which was literally evidence, so the sentence I just said, then pointed at while saying “Keiichi moment”, WAS a Keiichi moment in BOTH potential readings of the narrative! Keiichi IS a fool who DOES fail to see obviously visible evidence! “Of what” is left to be determined for now. I’m a writing genius, and like I said earlier today, I should be the one writing One Piece instead of Oda.)

Those were three cool paragraphs to write instead of ever at any point clicking past the sentence pictured above them. With regards to the fact that I wrote those three paragraphs,

Ah, she’s lying, like an abuse victim. I was going to say “well that answers the question of whether or not she remembers” but no it doesn’t!!! Ascended Human: No It Doesn’t

Oh, this is the first instance of Mion screentime I’m witnessing post-Third Eye Opening. I’m gonna be honest that before my Third Eye Opening, Mion was the only character I particularly liked, because I didn’t feel like I “got” the rest of them. Turns out just because I now care about everyone and am rooting for a world in which they all turn out okay doesn’t mean Mion’s not still my favorite. People who’ve been reading my One Piece posts would have read me mentioning the Effect of Reverse Santa!Carmen P. Sandiego being present in a panel of One Piece: A brief moment in my brain where all other processes took a backseat to basking in the glory of a character I really liked.

Same thing’s happening with Mion. Maybe the point of commonality between Reverse Santa!Carmen P. Sandiego and Mion is that they’re both old, and they’re both girls.

You know, because Mion is an old man.

You know, because Mion is a teenage girl.

Mion... :(

Mion wants Keiichi to quit screwing around with baseball bats. She’s taking this desire of hers seriously enough to actually be feeling insecure about her intelligence, rather than her usual confident bluster that was present even in the scene where Keiichi was admonishing her for her bad grades. Or, alternatively, she’s evil. (<--I guess you can just mentally append this sentence to the end of any paragraph I write that involves a girl. Do my “unless I’m wrong”s manually in your mind from here on out.)

Hm... she does seem genuinely bad at coherently expressing her feelings. Also this:

For once I don’t think there’s any reading possible of this where Keiichi is actually wrong.

Unless you wanna be a fucker and say that Mion is actually an alien masquerading as human and all her actions are arbitrary.

Hmm... thinking again about the Side Story where Mion is like “Hey Rena, Ooishi is a harbinger of death” and they both laugh.

Hmm... ALSO thinking about the links drawn between Rena and DID.

Keiichi is yelling. He’s yelling loud words. He asks Mion whether it was her or Rena who “did it” with the mochi. Mion says it was her.

Hmm... trying to remember... was there some detail about the mochi Keiichi threw at the wall leaving a bright red trail? It doesn’t really matter if the answer is no, and it doesn’t really matter if this line of narration is arbitrary, but it would be deeply funny if this narration was super non-arbitrary.

Keiichi finally gets bored of acting normal as a ploy to not get murdered. He decides to make his thoughts and feelings explicit to Mion.

(Took a break here because something “more important” (equally unimportant) came up--which is also why this post is past-midnight. But it still totally counts as me not having broken my streak of on-time posting, because I haven’t slept yet! Ignore the problems with that logic.)

Mion cries. Keiichi almost feels bad, but then remembers to feel good.

I don’t know what that sounds like but I would have described the voice acting moreso as “neutral, almost coldly so--just slightly, not overwhelmingly, menacing”. The voice acting also clued me in to the fact that what the localization translates as “so that’s how it is” is merely, y’know, the word “souka”. In other words, because I have voice acting and don’t speak Japanese, I’m not getting the untainted Higurashi experience!!! (<--takes when they cry entirely too seriously)

(”Please infer: Mion definitely doesn’t have DID” yeah okay whatever fine I’ll do that)

WAIT LMAO??? WHAT DID SHE DO

...Did Rena and Mion look you in the eye? Did the Toddlers speak to you?

So, first of all, very funny for Keiichi to be like “THERE’S NO GOOD REASON FOR RENA TO HAVE AN AXE” when the Rena-holding-an-axe CG is literally reused. Like. I’ve seen it before. Back in the part of Higurashi before things were Messed Up. I almost feel like it’s boring for me to go “yep, another instance of me being correct that no one’s evil” whenever literally anything happens, but honestly I forget how Rena behaved in the Chapter 12 Rena-has-an-axe scene so maybe I’ll just read further for now.

...what an insane thing to say. as a murderer it serves no tactical advantage. as a non-murderer it. um. serves no tactical advantage. ... it serves no tactical advantage.

Okay, well, Rena’s answer to “Why do you have a weapon?” is “Why do you have a weapon?” and her response to “Because I’m Normal, I’m Normal, Look At Me I’m Keiichi The Normal Guy” is “Because I’m Normal, I’m Normal, Look At Me I’m Rena The Normal Girl”

So Keiichi is definitely wrong about Rena being a cunning murderer, because look at how idiotic the things she’s saying are. She’s saying things only a complete fool would say. I’m really embarrassed for her!

Just because Keiichi is wrong about her being smart doesn’t mean I should, or necessarily even can, assume her intentions are pure. I realize that in my last post I kinda ended up latching onto one thing as if it was the only thing and gradually shifted my own goalposts from “none of the five kids are evil” to “Keiichi is the only character who behaves maliciously” which I think was a mistake. He’s obviously not. Even if he is the only character within the core fivesome who behaves maliciously, which is honestly a heck of a reach, he’s not the only character who behaves maliciously, I think I was inadvertently too trusting, of all things.

Hmm... Ryukishi obviously had the concepts down for all the main characters of the series before he started writing, right? Should I assume that if Keiichi’s paranoia being the first small crack that leads to an already-fragile situation crumbling is the central concept of the series, the reason Rena is its poster-girl is that she’s the one who comes closest to warranting his paranoia? I don’t know if I like that as a writing decision if Mion and the Toddlers are relatively mentally sound. Seems crass to add to the heap of media where “crazy people are bad”. Emphasis on the word relatively because I guarantee if the word relatively weren’t there I would have absolutely nothing to be concerned about.

THAT BEING SAID... well, I’ll get into it once I reach that part of the plot.

Heh, it’s kinda cute that he’s still bothering to give her the time of day in a situation like this, instead of just like, taking off in a nonstop sprint.

...Never thought I’d ever call Keiichi cute, and I have read this before.

With the one singular exception of the way I just looked at it.

So... hmm... how viable is it to split Rena up into having “one personality who repeats the last words of her sentences, and one personality who doesn’t do that, but has a weird laugh”? (Wait I think the term these days is “alter” not “personality”. Unless it changed again. Terms always change!!) Keiichi said something about her weird laugh being a third thing from those other times Rena was different from Rena, but he’s way beyond being an unreliable narrator (if I’m right). That being said, for this concept to hold true at all, it must be assumed that “Ren-alter Ellipsis Alter” swapped to “Ren-alter LOL” mid-walk, between being all like “Keiichi, you seem to be hiding. Was it just a prank bro?” and being all like “Keiichi, you don’t seem to be hiding.”

...Wait is the same girl who said “You wouldn’t do something awful like touching me non-aggressively in a normal context, correct?” now saying “By the way, were you just joking around when you mutilated my fingers?“? When I ask that, I’m not assuming the answer is no. I’m merely... asking it.

Hmm... can the selfish side of me who wants Mion to be someone I can adore unabashedly... and the selfless side of me who wants Higurashi to have as few ableist implications as possible... reach a compromise?

Oh, Rena just did her word-repeating thing. Nothing really seems to have changed as far as I can tell... I’ll have to be on the lookout for if she’s still laughing.

Nah, she only did her word-repeating thing once, transitioned immediately into really not liking dishonesty, then laughed. Dunno if this is the right angle to approach the character from. Although assuming alters have a minimum amount of time they have to spend “being the face” (IS THAT THE RIGHT TERMINOLOGY???) might be a little silly on my part?

Maybe you just have no skills, man. You ARE the Everyman Anime Protagonist Guy.

Alternatively if this were merely a hallucination of Rena I guess no movement speed would cause Keiichi to not perceive her. I guess just like I shouldn’t be making assumptions about minimum amounts of time any given Ren-alter needs to spend as The Face if she has DID, I also shouldn’t be making assumptions about the maximum extent to which Keiichi could be far-gone if he has paranoid schizophrenia. Although only one assumption needs to be wrong. (Ascendant Human: Both Can Be Wrong)

Okay I guess uh,

Okay I guess those three lines of narration are a bit too much to ignore. They have to exist for a reason. There’s like, no way this isn’t a hallucination. Which maybe means all that Rena character analysis I just did was pointless.

...Then a-freaking-gain, suddenly all she’s saying in this scene is “I don’t want things to be like last time, please talk to me so it can be better this time” which, if Ryukishi is trying to obscure the reality of the fact that the girls aren’t evil, is SUCH TAME DIALOG TO GIVE TO A HALLUCINATION, maybe it really IS just that Keiichi is a little wimp with no athletic skills???

Crap it’s like the 80s and Keiichi uses his corded phone all the time, I know he doesn’t have a cell phone. For a second there I was asking myself if he was unknowingly talking to Rena over the phone while hallucinating her physical presence. Nah, that’d be a bit much even if cell phones were around...

*narrows eyes because i’m facing towards the sun and forgot to wear my golf visor*

So Rena keeps saying Satoshi transferred and Keiichi keeps freaking out about the ambiguity of that phrase. Is Satoshi just in a mental institution and talking about it transparently is just REALLY TABOO? ...It is the 80s. Also Japan. Were there countries where that’d be way less taboo in the 80s than in Japan in the 80s? I dunno I don’t live in Japan and I wasn’t alive in the 80s.

So... Rena’s not her given name. There was that whole Side Story where, like, Mion or Toddler 02 or whoever it was, was like, “Listen Keiichi. It’s not a big deal or anything, but like, she’s not [whatever her given name was], she’s just Rena, it’s that simple.” And she never hates dishonesty or laughs (assuming there’s three alters?) and she always repeats herself, in scenes containing anyone at all other than Keiichi. So is repeating herself called “Rena”, and... not doing that is called...?

...Maybe Mion and the Toddlers really are super normalbrained. I can picture that being what’s up here. If this is Super Duper A Period Piece. If a major plot point here is “Didn’t society suck EVEN MORE THAN IT DOES NOW when it came to mental health, back in the accursed 80s?”

Keiichi “I’m So Scared Of Rena” Maebara is right next to Rena and just watched her raise an axe above her head, and he’s engaging her in conversation rather than mustering the additional 10% hidden in the 110 percentage points of strength he has... yeah, he’s definitely cute... this is definitely... Keiichi MOEbara...

Oh, nostalgic. Although if Oyashiro-sama is the perpetrator, I do hope Oyashiro-sama isn’t like that genocide person from Danganronpa. That’d be so hard in the opposite direction from non-ableism. In fact, given the disposition of a certain YouTuber, and the fact that they have a video about how they don’t dislike Higurashi, I doubt I need to give that possibility even a moment’s consideration.

Gelid is a nice vocabulary word. I feel like there must be other words also about ice that have the same root word, because something about the word gelid meaning icy feels so unsurprising to me, but... I can’t think of a single word that explains why gelid meaning icy doesn’t surprise me. Regardless, there’s no way I remember that the word gelid even exists 24 hours from now. Unless the fact that I just wrote this entire paragraph causes the word gelid to stick around in my brain like an unwanted guest.

Wait, pardon? Why are barrages of apologies coming up here in this Oyashiro-sama Discussion? If barrages of apologies are an Oyashiro-sama Thing and Oyashiro-sama isn’t a Rena Thing, was the opening scene’s apologizing woman whose unheard conversational partner annoyed Keiichi very Very relevant? WAIT, SHE HAD A CELL PHONE!!! Hmm... if Keiichi stole her cell phone, that would explain this entire sequence!

Keiichi, why would you steal a cell phone? ...Ugh that feels like the lead-up to my beloved Usopp Punchline from my One Piece posts, but Keiichi isn’t Usopp, so now I’m left feeling blue-balled.

Uh... okay, um, I’m gonna... um... I’m gonna file that away to mention later... since the rest of what I’m saving for later factors into what I wanna say here...

...could Keiichi really have been that bamboozled...?

WHEN RENA SAYS THINGS LIKE THIS SHE’S SAYING “WE’RE THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE [PRESENTLY] IN HINAMIZAWA WHO [PRESENTLY] HAVE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES” RIGHT?! WHY THE HELL IS THAT! WHAT THE HELL IS THE PLOT OF THIS VN!

So if Mion doesn’t have mental health issues, and Ooishi is a cop, and Ooishi doesn’t realize Keiichi has mental health issues, and Rena has mental health issues, and Mion told Rena Ooishi is a bad guy who’ll cause bad things to happen to Keiichi, and they laughed like it was just a joke, but there is someone Mion hates, and it seems like it’s Ooishi,

I feel like that gif of the math swirling around the woman but all the math is replaced with rubber ducks and the woman is replaced with me.

Alright fine, if it’s going to come up again, I guess I’ll ask now. Is there some sort of “Normal Society” --oops you’re insane time to get exiled to--> Hinamizawa --oops you’re insane time to get exiled to--> Uh Oh, This Place Sucks pipeline? And Keiichi’s stated reason for why he moved to Hinamizawa is wrong because he’s been lied to? Why would there be such a pipeline? Especially since Hinamizawa is full of mentally sound people?

WAIT, IS THAT WHY THE TEACHER HAS CHARACTER SPRITES? SHE’S SECRETLY A PSYCHIATRISTEACHER? No one who’s not a psychiatrist would EVER have character sprites!! I’ve cracked the code!!

Afraid FOR her, right? They didn’t want anything bad to happen to her? Ugggh give me DETAILS

Yeah okay Ooishi has confirmed the boys were her friends. I already inferred THAT detail, give me a DIFFERENT additional detail!!

No witnesses, huh. Huh. Huh.

Ooishi and Keiichi are talking more and more about the incident. It’s boring so I don’t care about it. When I said I wanted more details I actually lied, details fucking suck. I’m moreso wondering why Toddler 02 told Keiichi it was good that he had a baseball bat. Rena told him it was bad. Mion told him it was bad. Toddler 01... hasn’t been plot-relevant since that moment. Why’d Toddler 02 tell him it was good.

Hmm, it’d be funny if there were some hilarious reason, like Satoshi McAlsoparanoid telling Toddler 02 specifically a way-too-sentimental lie that caused her to get emotionally attached to his baseball bat. Or... something...???

Ugh, alright, this was the other thing I WAS saving for later: Does Hinamizawa attract mental illness or cause it? Why the hell would it do either of those things? It seems to, though.

Oh... oh, the fact that the government didn’t care if their new dam was going to flood Hinamizawa... is that because they were like “Meh, who cares about havens for crazy people?” I can see why people would passionately fight against that rather than pulling a Ben Shapiro and selling their houses and moving.

*squints yet again and loudly curses my lack of a golf visor*

Ableism?

Also “Oyashiro-sama” is “Jailor for Hinamizawans”

If Hinamizawa is a glorified mental asylum and that’s secretly the real reason Keiichi’s there why would Keiichi’s parents be like “Well, now that we’re here, Problem Solved, and if he acts weird, well, um, not top priority right now, because Artist”... maybe Keiichi’s dad really is the worst most villainous character in Higurashi.

Keiichi thinks the connection between “metal bats” and “Oyashiro-sama” is No Mere Coincidence. Can I ignore this? I’m all overthinkinged out, and quite frankly I just think Keiichi is wrong sometimes.

Aww, man... Keiichi shoved Rena. Now I’ll never know why she was holding her axe above her head rather than having her arms lowered below her head like any normal person does with their arms. Well, maybe there’s no correlation there, actually.

Keiichi engages in an epic anime battle against a couple of guys and loses.

Keiichi is in a normal scenario.

Cough

Yeah that’s the type of doctor she called

100% Guaranteed

Rena says Keiichi didn’t have opponents and isn’t a loser. Hmm... half-right, Rena!

“felt like I was”

Anyway Keiichi goes and lets Mion in. For the first time, he actually has to say “I’m Normal” about the way he destroyed his house... Rena is like “Umm... yeah... I’ll make it Actually Normal a little later”

Hmm... yeah maybe if Keiichi has paranoid schizophrenia taking him to a Sinister Conspiracy Facility and then promptly Exiting the Sinister Conspiracy Facility was the worst possible move his parents could have made. To continue the running joke of blaming his dad, I’ll pretend his mom is blameless.

IS THIS AN OPEN SECRET??? ARE KEIICHI’S PARENTS THE WEIRDEST LIARS IN THE WORLD??? KEIICHI’S DAD TRUE VILLAIN THEORY 100% ACCURATE CALLED SHOT BY ME MOMENTS???

Rena says “foreman” and ruins everything

why can’t I go two seconds without a line being baffling? What do you MEAN “happy”

...

Oh. Oh. Mion and Rena’s mutual laughter isn’t the word-repeating one, it’s the laughing one. Duh. What kinda weird games is Mion playing? Don’t be weird, Mion, I’m trying to like you...

Hmm... yeah, I can see where this would be an instance of the slightest mistake-no-ordinary-person-would-make making all the difference in the world as to whether or not something could be perceived as sinister.

Rena... and by Rena, I mean the girl who repeats words, Rena... doesn’t normally refer to herself in third person, does she? I mean. Referring to yourself in the third person is, from what I understand, so much less abnormal in Japanese. And also, as I understand, something Gonta doesn’t do in Japanese, because he’s not a Tarzan-expy/caveman in Japanese. Or maybe he does? But if so, only because it’s less abnormal. I don’t feel like saying very much on the subject of Danganronpa though. The point I was TRYING to make before Gonta made the UNGENTLEMANLY choice to interrupt me was “Oh, is the laughing one saying ‘Rena’ instead of ‘I’ another hint?”

*watches Gonta cry while smirking, then hands him a business card that instead of my name credentials or contact information simply has the word “Golf” printed on it*

So I totally believe that Rena this orange-haired girl is restraining Keiichi, and Mion has a long and thin object in the hand that’s moving about near his face, and that they’re taunting him and ignoring his cries of anguish. I just don’t believe that the long thing object is a syringe rather than a permanent marker. I’ve actually been wondering why people always call Higurashi “slice of life mixed with horror” as though it isn’t obviously “Kaiji Joke Part X mixed with horror”, but I guess the Kaiji Joke Parts are actually a clever plot device so Ryukishi can do stuff like this. Also... kind of unoriginal, Mion. I hate to be so critical of you, my beloved daughter, but Get Creative LMAO.

Oh. Fucking, oh, that’s why she was being so unoriginal. Her unoriginality was also a plot device. I guess Camera’s death ISN’T common enough knowledge for saying this to be in poor taste, huh? That’s what the scene where people said his girlfriend must have eloped was there to establish.

Yeah I can just breeze past this whole recap of how Camera died

Wait was Mion not even a little weirded out by Keiichi saying “but the police didn’t find any drugs in his body”... he’s a freak but he’s not that much of a freak

Are there actually people who read Keiichi going “oh I was hallucinating” here 5 million times and don’t consider the possibility that he actually is prone to hallucination? Wait, that’s me 13 months ago. Unless I just forgot? It feels kinda obvious for me to miss. ...I mean, like I said before, hiding this kind of thing in plain sight can be effective, but.

Anyway, Keiichi finally notices that he’s killed Mion and Rena.

...Was the director actually going to be “happy” Keiichi was “interested in baseball”? For the same reasons Toddler 02 was? Different ones? Hello???

Wait, the two humans and the car that Keiichi engaged in anime combat with are outside his house? For realsies? Real? That just raises Actual questions!!

Also, if Mion and the Toddlers are the Three Token Sane People in this five-person cast, then the fact that there are four girls, four question arcs, and four answer arcs takes on a whole different meaning. What’s going on in this town that gives the ones without mental illnesses that much ability to be the central figures in horror-genre narratives...?

Hmm, okay, Keiichi is using a pen to write. Sorry, just planning ahead for a joke I’ll make later. ...Wait, I should actually say what he’s writing. A bunch of clues to the conspiracy he thinks exists. Which is the wrong conspiracy, because the conspiracy which actually exists is clearly more important...

He... stuck the “syringe”... to the clock...? Uh, well, I’ll, keep that in mind, for later,

Dang these “I know they were evil so why am I so sad that they’re dead” vibes’re kinda tragic from this Dramatic Irony-soaked viewpoint eh boss

Oh... and the vibes straight up do transition to “Wait, I didn’t know they were evil, what the hell is wrong with me?”

Keiichi leaves

One last apology barrage for the road

Is... Ooishi really... a normal guy who’s dangerously ignorant about this weird “let’s put crazy people where us normals don’t have to deal with them” town? What’s the deal with the town then, that the way it’s set up allows a character like Ooishi to be relevant in this story?

Ooishi really knows nothing, huh? This narration from his perspective is asking “Is Keiichi being attacked by guys?!” What fools allowed a scenario where Hinamizawa is the bunk way that it is and Ooishi knows nothing? No one thought that was bad? Mion seems to be capable of acknowledging that it’s bad, unless that’s multiple narrative misdirects.

Keiichi is telling Ooishi he’s only just now realized that the culprit is Oyashiro-sama and not any human. Has Keiichi achieved 100% conviction in the belief that he was mentally ill and not only were Rena and Mion not evil, but neither were any of the guys outside his house? If so, why is he saying something weird? If not, why is he saying something weird?

Ooishi asking Keiichi “PLEASE tell me which human it is who’s doing an evil conspiracy” is going to make me... uh, already used bang my head against the wall... already used die... already used drown... uh...

Oh, I was wrong about that previous apology barrage being the last one. ...I mean I guess it’s esoteric if you don’t know what the plot is. Except. No it’s not, even then? Yeah that’s pretty non-esoteric haha.

Why’s Keiichi’s age 1x. He’s 14 right?

So... it took this long, but the elephant in the me-remembering-parts-of-my-previous-readthrough room was in fact Keiichi dying in the same way as Camera. I guess I really didn’t comprehend the plot last time, because I don’t remember making the following theory: Maybe Keiichi, in his unfortunate state, had simply thought to himself “I know how Camera died, and I want to die, so I’ll just do the same thing.” Very inefficient, but it’s not like he was thinking clearly. I dunno man.

The real question is.

The REAL question is.

The REAL QUESTION is.

Why would Camera die like that? Isn’t he just some guy fr,

om,

elsewhere,

What was that scene where he was like “Yeah... I wish so badly I could live with you...” and Mion or whoever it was being like “He won’t succeed as an artist.” Those two lines weren’t right after each other but they kinda say a little bit.

Never mind then! I guess Camera dying how he did is a little bit consistent with my theories.

As for that bit of narration I said was “correlated with one of my biases”... yeah I have no idea what I was on about at the time.

Wait Keiichi got the bat “several days” before the incident and talked to his parents “two days” before? Is that right? I could read through my previous posts and check but that sounds like a chore. Pass!

Is this police report really from an entire police force full of people who don’t know that this place is some kind of mental care commune? Why is there an entire police force full of people who don’t know?!

Part of Keiichi’s note was redacte--

The “Crazy People Ought To Know What’s Good For Them” enforcer guys?! What’s this place’s deal!!!

Oh the permanent marker conveniently fell off the clock so Ryukishi doesn’t have to write “there was a permanent marker taped to the clock” in his police report and make his whole twist way too obvious.

Aww man I’m blanking on what the enforcer guys redacted. It wasn’t the presence of themselves and their van. Did Keiichi really write something that incriminating??? I only had the vaguest memory of something being wrong with his note, so I figured whatever was wrong with it must have been really obvious, and didn’t bother taking notes.

I like how the last line in the arc is “Hey, person reading: Figure out the mystery.” It’s not technically a fourth wall break, and it’s very Umineko. Or I guess I should say it’s very Ryukishi. Or, it’s very When They Cry? I dunno man.

Meanwhile, in Side Story Land...

Nothing!

Come back tomorrow for when I do something else instead of starting the second arc. I assume you already know what I’m referring to because why are you reading these posts if you’re a person with no familiarity with Higurashi???

#higurashi #when they cry #is what i'm consuming

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berlinbisque · 2 years

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The Papier Project

I have made all these renders for my reference. Too numb but here’s the Final selection of the artworks for my room… if I’ll stay alive I’ll continue and take it up as a challenge cuz I felt really bad, everyone around is doing panelling although I’m always the first to bring such elements and ideas over here to India, I felt left out, I have a POP one which is also beautiful I had given a special order for a moulded base (Victorian) and I should feel grateful for now cuz some foreigners do DIY & nothings as good or as bad as it appears especially on internet so we are all struggling with something or the other. I already know what kind of capping rail and mountboard I want next but I really hope I’m able to find such artisans or moulders, I can’t do the 5 layer one because it’s done by highly skilled professionals and they create those beveled lines right then and there while putting up each individual panel, I wish I could write more… I would’ve explained how it is done, most people opt for other easier options these days because it requires a lot of time and like I said skilled hands. But I have something specific in mind so whatever I’m upto… it won’t be that common. I wish I could do a full on bead board which is slightly different than shiplap or grooving but you don’t get all those proper supplies here, in abroad you nowadays get pre-made beadboards which you just have to nail and paint cuz it’s again quite tricky if you are doing it from scratch. That style is mostly for cottages and stuff, for city homes we need something classic anyway, board & batten or Hampton’s is again not on the top of my list because that’s more of a country style, can’t type much right now I’m relying on autocorrect once I’ll get better and I’ll find someone I’ll share all my thoughts in person along with my ideas that is if they’re close or enough trustworthy. Once our living room is done I’ll shift myself there I hope I’ll stabilise till then… I can’t share my new theme. The 1883 one will go on the back wall along with the Bird lithograph (encyclopaedic) and B&B would be in my entrance below the lamp after entering my room from the door… the small Trees collectible will go next to Annabelle and Warm house would be in the biggest 30 x 40 frame on the front wall. My fav Mag Cover will be on the side below my Russian painting which is already there in my room. I’m gonna keep all my American Folk art as it is and the vintage toys 🧸 painting as well, also the water coloured canvas and my “stationary section” which has a masculine office theme - polo jockey 🏇 water coloured boat and iceberg cruise below my frosted golden wall lamp. The 🦌 elk, Victorian frames and Mid Century artworks will also remain where they are. I won’t elaborate much about the next theme but I’ll share a few points once everything’s done. The front collage will have these artworks now and I’ll be adding a bigger frame in the corner next to my lamp… like I said I have a particular theme in mind and if I would have shared that you would’ve understood my logic but I can’t reveal anything until it’s done. Sorry. To give you a small hint, there’s going to be a lot of minimalism, abstract art, neutrality along with in contrast - traditional richness through various colours & patterns. This time there are going to be fewer oil paintings and more of hand drawn sketches or mute shades and light pastels, Japanese or Koreans are still very traditional in a lot of aspects especially when it comes to art; it reflects their heritage style, you’ll find everything from basket weave to oriental gastronomy, all the warp & weft of their culture plus functionality and style in whatever they do - because of smaller spaces and lots of creativity. I would have added a few elements in lighting as well but you don’t get those accordion pleated lamps in India (as of now) they are based on paper lanterns… nonetheless origami is going to be at its core and all other details will be revealed once my room is ready,

I’ll share what all I’ll be doing to make it more interesting and to give it those vibes. I’m merging 2 things together and alhamdullilah I already have all that I need to go with both (again I can’t share all that stuff) and that is exactly why I’m going to do something I’ve always liked… I recently purchased an electronic item (last week or so my grandfather gave each one of us 5k lol so I added my other savings and I got something from the official site but they’ll be shipping it tomorrow…) and luckily even though I was confused I got it in the same shade as the rest of my stuff and it’ll match my next colour scheme.

- Zara Sauleh

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gamergoo · 2 years

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random question about starfighters

tie advanced v1, tie defender, tie avenger. in general, how would you rank these from worst to best

Thank you for the question!!! I love answering these types of questions!

I’m first gonna rank them by utility in a navy. I think examining that, the tie defender wins out. The advanced v1 and the avenger are both specialty vehicles for important people and as such were very expensive and not useful within the larger imperial navy, the defender was intended for the tarkin doctrine but the empire being obsessed with the Death Star meant that wouldn’t happen. If the defender had reached full production the empire would’ve gone unchallenged for a few more decades. If this were about the advanced x1 instead of the v1 then MAYBE it would be different, but as it stands the defender was just too useful and powerful to lose that.

Now aesthetically, I can’t say I really like any of these ships.

The advance v1 is interesting to be sure, but it feels more like a republic or separatist design than anything., and otherwise it’s just a regular tie fighter that’s supposedly shielded and has a hyperdrive, personally I think it’s an example of real world designers not really thinking about the space those take up. The x1 is bulkier, so of course it has space for those, and it’s got larger solar panels so it can power them! This doesn’t have those design traits and just kinda doesn’t do it for me.

I’ve said before but the defender just has too much going on for me. It also has shielding and a hyperdrive, and imo only really has space for one of those. I think it doesn’t even make sense to have a hyperdrive given its intended role, but I digress. The inverted interceptor wings are. Interesting? But the ball is too isolated for me to like it. It feels kitbashed certainly, but it feels kitbashed in universe, not by a designer. It’s interesting but not amazing, but that’s okay because it’s an updated legacy design!

So full disclosure, I had never actually seen this design because it’s not canon, and I generally think legends designs are, frankly speaking, fucking silly(the e wing and k wing come to mind) but this one is actually very impressive! I’ve chosen some fractalsponge renders in favor of official game material because they’re higher res and not stretched. This has the body of the TIE advanced x1 with the wings of an interceptor but mirrored(some renders don’t have that rear notch, and I get the impression the front points are longer and at a shallower angle but it’s inconsistent.) this is squarely in that Important Guy Special TIE Model but it’s a cool evolution of the Advance line!(it’s actually the culmination of that line in legends!) something interesting about it is that it’s got warhead launchers? I believe some canon tie models are equipped with concussion missiles, but warheads generally refer to like proton torpedoes which is very cool because legends makes references to it taking nods from rebel ship design which is something I find starkly missing from a lot of scifi. I think, doctrinally, it’s a good move to see what your opponent does right and incorporate it into your doctrine and philosophy, so it’s very cool this does that visually!

Bonus content: Vesta’s Favorite TIE variants!

This is the TIE Reaper! Probably the most unique variant because it’s not a strike craft! It’s a cargo/troop transport or support ship! I just think it’s a fucking inspired design

Also the squadrons interior is soooooo sexy it makes me feel like a trucker!(still on my type 10 defender grind for elite dangerous, might snag a type 7 first to do my hauling. The corvette is like. Okay at cargo transport)

But my all time favorite TIE series design is actually the TIE Silencer from the last Jedi!

This is like the perfect first order design extrapolation, and it’s actually probably an adaptation of the ORIGINAL TIE Avenger

You can see the wide cockpit works better all angular like that.

The Silencer has room for 2 heavy lasers in addition to the standard wingtip lasers, so it’s very well armed. It has the standard bits, shields, hyperdrive, missile and torpedo launchers, BUT!!!!! As the name suggests it’s very stealthy! It has a “stealth generator” but idk what that means and we never see it used. Either way, I fucking ADORE this design it’s SO sexy!

Anyway, thanks for the question! I love answering stuff like this, and since you made it to the end of the post, as always, I will reward you with a cool little picture!

#vesta’s ship design rants

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pencilscratchins · 3 years

Photo

three wip pages drawn in september from that very silly mini comic that will probably take four years to complete lmao [id under the cut bc its very long]

PAGE ONE: panel 1: an overhead sketch of the blue, checkered dance floor from the wedding in the finale of LOK- couples are dancing, seeing pema and tenzin, korra and asami, bolin and opal, and mako and wu.

panel 2: Wu, in a fancy green velvet jacket, has his arms around Mako’s shoulders, who is dressed in a more simple formal grey suit and his right arm in a sling. Mako’s face is visible and he’s looking sweetly at the prince. dialogue:

Wu: See, I told you you don't need two hands to cut a rug.

Mako: I wouldn't say we're exactly cutting a rug right now.

panel 3: the pair is slightly turned, as if theyre spinning while dancing- wu now facing the camera as mako’s back faces it. Mako’s uninjured arm is around wu’s waist. dialogue

Wu: See, that's where you'd be wrong. Have someone bring a rug over, put it under our feet, we will destroy it--

panel 4: Wu’s still facing the camera, but now on the other side, hand holding mako’s shoulder. mako’s face is tucked in wu’s neck. dialogue:

Mako: wu

Wu: I'm serious, you're horribly mistake-- we probably shouldn't ask Zhu Li, it is her wedding

panel 5: A longer panel, wu and mako smiling at each other face to face, both in profile. theyre lit by the moon light and lanterns peaking through the trees. Wu’s hand is on mako’s shoulder.

Mako: wu

Wu: what? I’m kidding. (mostly)

Mako: wu

panel 6: close up of wu’s face, as he says what?

panel 7: close up of mako’s face. he’s smiling coyly.

PAGE TWO: panel 1: Mako captures Wu’s lips in a passionate kiss. Wu looks surprised, his hand moved to the back of Mako’s neck. Theyre both blushing, the tops of their heads breaking into the white of the panel.

panel 2: a close up of Wu’s face, no longer kissing. he looks swept off his feet as he asks “mako?”

panel 3: a close up of mako-- he looks soft but determined. dialogue:

Mako: Wu, I can't ignore this anymore. I have feelings for you-- I don't think I realized it until you told me you were gonna abdicate, but... Wu, you're my forever boy.

panel 4: Wu and Mako are in profile again, still in their dancing position. dialogue:

Wu: Mako-!

Mako: And you have great hair.

panel 5: A close up of Wu, waving off the comment with his hand faking modesty. dialogue:

Wu: I... it's just good genes and coconut oil...

panel 6: a close up of mako’s face-- he still looks determined, but shaken a bit by nerves. dialogue:

Mako: Please, Wu, I have to know... do you...

panel 7: a close up of wu, mako’s shoulder in shot. dialogue:

Wu: Yes?

panel 8: Again, the boys are in profile, dancing-- but their position is intimate. Their lips are just barely apart, sharing the breathe before a kiss-- both their eyes are closed, ready to kiss again. dialogue:

Mako: Do you agree that putting funds into technical education will reap the most benefits for impoverished students?

panel 9: a long panel, mostly empty-- only wu is visable over mako’s silhouetted shoulder. wu looks confused, brows furrowed, saying “What?” in the background, the word “Wu?” fades into full opacity, until it forms a nearly fully rendered speech bubble that says “Wu?”

PAGE THREE: panel 1: Wu, now dressed in his princely outfit (green ascot, forest green jacket, yellow sash) looking like he just woke up from a day dream the panel around him looking like a popped bubble. he says: “huh?”

panel 2: president moon, korra, and asami are sitting at a curved, diplomatic table. they’re clearly in a meeting, mako’s uniformed torso barely visible in the background. moon looks like she’s waiting for a response; korra looks amused; and asami looks like she’s barely keeping back a smile, pointing at Wu. dialogue:

Asami: We were just finalizing everyone's thoughts on the lower ring rehabilitation?

panel 3: Korra and Asami are shown in 3/4 view, Asami in the foreground and Korra, with her arms crossed dressed in her blue tank top. she looks throughly amused. dialogue:

Korra: Yeah, You were really ruminating on it.

panel 4: under the table, asami’s foot (dressed in a maroon, 1920′s style heel) kicks korra’s brown booted foot, the sound thop! emphasizes the movement.

panel 5: above the table again; asami looks at korra looking like “really? come on,”, korra is mid covering her smile with her right hand, still grinning, snorting and clearing her throat.

panel 6: Wu looks flustered, blushing as his shoulder go up shocked. dialogue:

Wu: Oh! Right! ... uh...

panel 7: Wu is gesturing wildly with both his hands, the corners of some other advisors at the table are on either sides of him. Wu looks unsure of himself. dialogue:

Wu: Oh! Right! Uh-- Ms. Sato, your plan was impeccably thought out. I-- couldn't think of a better one myself. Full support.

panel 8: a close up of president moon in her official uniform-- she looks pleasantly neutral. her speech bubble splits off in several ovals, extending past the next three panels. dialogue:

Moon: Good, then we're all in agreement. I believe that's all we had on the table today. Which is good, because I think my husband will go catatonic if we don't find something shiny for him to play with. I think we're ready to call it a day.

panel 9: Wu is shot from far away-- mako’s perspective. He looks unsure, nervous.

panel 10: a close up of mako’s face-- he’s dressed in his fancy uniform. he looks concerned.

panel 11: korra cracks her neck, hand against the back of her shoulder. she looks thrilled to be done with the meeting: dialogue:

Korra: agreed!

#wuko #wu #mako #not art #my art #image described #fan art #legend of korra #lok #comic #under the cut #long post #IF I EVER FINISH THIS WHO KNOWS #you can really tell how much ive improved since this smh #sorry about the under the cut ID its just v long #end of the year clean out stuff again #i want to share a little of this just incase i do never complete it lol #1k

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cosmicjoke · 3 years

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Ugh, okay, chapter 81 of AoT, and I’m in the corner cryin’.

But seriously, what an emotionally powerful chapter this was. God man, it’s gonna’ take me a minute to get my thoughts in order.

Well, first of all, Erwin, and all of the recruits, watching them sacrifice their lives here was just so absolutely, emotionally powerful. Just incredibly moving and heartbreaking. Even after Erwin gets hit and falls, (and the panels here of him dying are truly devastating, powerful images) to see the recruits continuing to charge forward, to carry on in his stead, it really is just so intense, and as well speaks to Erwin’s own power as a commander, how he was able to inspire these people into giving their lives for a greater cause. To see their courage in the face of certain death, carrying on Erwin’s spirt here, it truly was one of the most moving, and also one of the most heart-wrenching moments in SnK up to this point. I felt so much for all of them. The way Marlowe thought of Hitch too, in the end, never realizing it was because he was in love with her, ugh, my heart.

Now contrasting that, and I swear to Christ, I really, REALLY don’t understand how anyone can sympathize with Zeke given the sick display he puts on here, his cruelty and ego-driven rage towards these young men and women, and how he lets his rage towards his father fuel his violence towards these innocent people just... it pisses me off so much. I can’t even. I mean, Zeke is one twisted, sick mother fucker. He’s demented, truly, the way he swings wildly between violent rage and perverse glee as he kills them, and then has the unmitigated gall to act like he feels sorry for these people, how clearly he thinks of them as pitiful and pathetic, their sacrifice as meaningless. He treats them like their lives are pointless, and then has the nerve to play at sympathy for their plight. What pisses me off the most about Zeke is how utterly self-centered he is. How everything he does, everything he thinks, is filtered through his own view of the world and life, and how he never once stops to consider the lives of others, their own views or experiences. Because he’s deemed his own life as worthless and without point, so too has he deemed the lives of every other Eldian. He’s far and away the most self-centered, ego-driven and selfish character in the whole series. Oh, he just made me sick here. His own hypocrisy is equally disgusting, with how angry he becomes when Levi dares to make him pay for what he’s done. As if he can’t believe anyone would dare cause him harm, unable to comprehend why they would even wish to do so, as if he’s some great, godly figure sent to the world to bestow his twisted sense of mercy on those he deems unfit to live. Just the whining, hysterical reaction he has to getting fucked up. The ego on this guy is seemingly infinite. He truly is despicable. Just a pathetic child of a man taking out his issues on everyone but himself, throwing temper tantrums when anyone dares to challenge him on what he’s decided is right. Fuck Zeke. Seriously, just... fuck this guy so much.

Now, enough about him, let’s talk about Levi.

Truly, some of the most heartbreaking moments we’ve seen with Levi up to this point happen in this chapter. The moments following him taking Zeke down (and yes, that whole sequence was epically bad-ass), just seeing the depth of Levi’s pain here was so devastating, and incredibly moving. You can see how preoccupied he is with what’s happened. Zeke isn’t even his main consideration or concern. He seems almost distracted, looking back behind him, out over the field of his fallen comrades and friends, and wondering in an almost frantic, inner monologue to himself if anyone out there is still alive. He’s hoping beyond hope that someone, ANYONE, is, so that he can save at least one person. This goes back to Levi’s determination to keep the new recruits alive back in I think chapter 78 or 79, ordering them not to die, and then trying desperately to get those with the horses back on the other side of the wall. It really puts into perspective just how devastating this is for Levi, to see all of these people, dead, crushed to death by rocks, all of these people who just a short while ago he had been doing everything he could to protect. To know they had to die to save only a few. HIs desperation here, the way he clings to the hope that at least one person is still alive, out of all of them, to be saved, the way he reminds himself that as long as they’re breathing, it can be done, if he gives them the serum, it all just drives home in the most poignant way just how pained Levi is at the sacrifice they’ve all made. It drives home how much it’s cost Levi, to allow them to do it. I said before that him making that choice for Erwin was Levi going against every, innate feeling and instinct that he has, the need to protect and save people. Levi had to go directly against his own nature in order to make that call, and the consequences of that are plain to see in these panels. His wide eyed, shocked expression, the frantic, mantra-like thoughts going through his mind, almost childlike in the way he keeps asking if anyone is still alive out there, if there’s anyone he can bring back. And the way he thinks of Erwin specifically when he asks that, it serves as such a cruel reminder that Levi’s just given up one of his dearest and closest friends. That he’s just willingly lost a person that meant so much to him, in order to obtain any sort of victory for humanity. It reminds us of the personal cost to Levi. Another person he’s lost in this battle for humanity’s salvation. Ah, he just breaks my heart so much here. And also how it’s that hope, that desperate wish that someone is still able to be saved, that stays Levi’s hand from killing Zeke immediately. How it’s purely Levi’s wish to save someone that keeps him from killing Zeke then and there, it truly speaks volumes about what kind of person Levi really is, about how much he values life.

And then of course there’s Levi’s reaction when Pieke catches him off guard and steals Zeke away. Levi’s stunned horror, as he watches Zeke escaping is, for one, I think, because his chance to save even one life is being taken away, there before his eyes, and, of course, because the purpose behind all of his comrades sacrifices, the reason they gave up their lives, in order for Levi to kill Zeke and provide those left a means of escape, is being rendered meaningless. We then see Levi’s stunned horror turn to unbridled rage, as he realizes the promise he’d made to Erwin is slipping from his hands. He can’t allow for all of these people to have died in vain, he can’t let their sacrifices mean nothing, he can’t let that stand. Once again, the depth with which Levi values the lives of other people is truly incredible, and the emotion in these panels is perhaps the most powerful example of that quality in Levi up to this point in the story. I just felt so much for him all throughout this.

When you think about what Levi’s been through here, too, how before he even went after the Beast Titan, he’d already run himself ragged taking down some unknown number of smaller Titans to protect the horses and the new recruits, and then in order to get to Zeke, he had to take down probably a dozen or more 12 or 15 meter Titans, before finally taking the Beast Titan down, all this by himself, it displays the strength of Levi’s will so powerfully, how much of himself he’s willing to give in order to further the cause of others. For him to then continue to go after Zeke, after all of that, just the way he never gives up, never stops fighting, exemplifies how wholly Levi truly embodies the ideal of the Survey Corps, and the fight for humanity. What an absolute hero he is.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #Levi Ackerman #Erwin Smith #zeke yaeger #meta #snk 81 #thoughts

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yandere-daydreams · 4 years

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darling escapes from atsumu & runs to osamu for help, not knowing that the twins share the same feelings for her

I try to keep my Reader-Inserts gender neutral as often as possible, but I /love/ the idea of escaping from one brother, only to fall into the loving arms of another. At least Osamu’s a little nice, or, he can be, at least. He tries to be. Sometimes. Maybe. If you’re really, really lucky.

Title: Trade Off.

TW: Kidnapping, Captivity, Mentions of Physical Abuse, Dehumanization, and Slight Infantilization.

Osamu greeted you with a hug.

From anyone else, it wouldn’t have been surprising. What kind of friend wouldn’t hug you - a missing person, a victim of something awful with the evidence littered all over your skin, in burns and cuts and too many bite-marks to count, but Osamu had always been reserved. A hug from him was like rain in the desert, snowfall in the tropics, and despite everything you’d done to earn something more than just a stiff embrace and a moment of uncharacteristic affection, you’d cherished it. You’d fallen into it. You’d wanted it and you’d loved him for it, if only because it was something Atsumu’d never do. If only because it reminded you how different he was from his twin, despite their identical appearances.

If only because, from that point forward, you’d been sure you made the right choice by running to him, before friends and family and a dozen more reasonable choices. You were still sure.

It’d proved he cared about you, and that was something his brother could never do.

Even now, his protective fondness hung in the air, laying over you and keeping you warm like a blanket of worried glances and soft touches, Osamu taking any excuse to rest his hand on your shoulder or let his fingers brush against yours, little things to reassure himself that you were there and you were real, even if hours had already passed since you turned up on his doorstep. You’d already told him about Atsumu, how he’d turned into a monster overnight and the more palatable parts of your captivity, and he’d sat across from you in the cramped living-room, nodding occasionally and letting you speak, getting you a cup of something hot and herbal when your eyes went cloudy and your hands started to shake. You drank it down, thankful for the excuse to stifle the words you found pouring off of your tongue, despite your best efforts to hold them in.

Osamu took your story in stride. With his chin resting on his fist, he scanned over you, his gaze lingering passively on Atsumu’s shirt, the only piece of clothing you’d been able to grab before you fled, and a particularly bad bruise over your shoulder, dipping down until it reached your collarbone. “Want to use my phone?” He offered, his voice flat, but the question itself full of concern. “Your folks must be worried sick. I wouldn’t blame you for wantin’ to get out of here sooner than later.”

You should call someone, your parents, the police, someone, but a selfish, exhausted part of you just wanted to curl up on Osamu’s couch and spend a few more days in denial, pretending the past few months of your life hadn’t happened or dismissing the fact that they’d continue to take a toll on you. Embracing the idea wouldn’t be a good idea, but it couldn’t hurt to indulge it. Get a few hours of sleep, see if you could find a decent pair of pants. Take in Osamu’s hospitality rather than try to tell yourself you didn’t need it. “I need a little time,” You said, shaking your head idly. “You don’t mind if I hang around for a while, do you? I just… I’d like to get my story straight. Saying ‘my famous boyfriend locked me in his basement because he loved me’ might not go over well with the police.”

That earned an airy chuckle. Osamu stood, taking you by the hand to help you do the same. “C’mon. I have a spare room I’ve been fixin’ up, you can stay there for as long as you need to.”

You smiled up at him, and he smiled back. You weren’t sure whether it was relief, joy or gratitude that flooded into your body before you could remind yourself to be cautious, but you let Osamu guide you through his home without complaint, only letting go of his hand when he came to a white door at the end of a long hall, and Osamu had to fish through his pockets to find its key.

‘Fixing up’ had been an understatement.

You weren’t sure if Osamu and Atsumu had a younger sibling, any cousins they favored, but if they did, those kids must’ve been spoiled rotten. The walls were painted a rich, pastel pink, the desk and the bed both new and trendy and absolutely covered in trinkets and toys, things that fell somewhere between decorative and unnecessary. There weren’t any windows, but with a flip of a switch, a small army of lamps lit the room with a soft glow, making you want to fall onto the plush rug that covered most of the floor and lose yourself in the unadulterated homeyness. You couldn’t say you were difficult to impress - with Atsumu, your ‘room’ was either an empty, darkened closet or a crate, sometimes big enough to accommodate you, sometimes not. This felt… extravagant, in comparison. More than you deserved. More than you could accept without paying a price.

It made sense when you heard the door close behind you, a lock clicking into place and Osamu’s key slipping back into his pocket. Your heart still froze into your chest, your pulse slowing down and racing at the same time, but it made sense.

You swallowed your nerves hastily, forcing yourself to turn around and cross your arms over your chest. A futile gesture, considering Osamu’s height and your blatant frailty, but it was too early to grovel. If he wanted to push you around, you’d prove you could push back. “Let me out, now. I don’t know if you think this is funny, but--”

“I started putting this together the day after ‘tsumu got to you. It was already too late, no one knew what ditch you’d died in, but what the hell, right?” He walked past you swiftly, not bothering to acknowledge your rebellion. He didn’t speak loudly, nor was he any more imposing than he’d been a minute ago, but what he was saying, how casually he was saying it, was enough to render you speechless. Absentmindedly, he slid open the closet’s mirrored panel, rummaging through its contents as he went on. “It wasn’t hurting anyone, and if I was gonna get my hands on you eventually, I’d have a plan. He’s too impulsive, never had to wait for anythin’ in his life. I was worried he was gonna break you, for a few weeks.” He paused, pursing his lips as he found what he was looking for. Clothes were thrown at your feet, a full outfit too sheer and too minimalistic to be for your enjoyment. “Change. I’ve wanted to rip those fucking rags off of you since you got here.”

You didn’t bother responding to that. You had a feeling it would only fuel his smoldering hostility. “This isn’t--” You bit your tongue before you could finish. ‘It’s not fair’ was something a child would say, and you were an adult, a capable, independent adult. Clearly, you’d already done something to make the Miya twins think otherwise. “You have to let me go, Osamu. I just got away from your brother, I just got free, you can’t take that away from me. We’re supposed to be friends. You’re supposed to care about me.”

“I’m doing this because I care about you.” On their own, the words might’ve been kind, empathetic, but whatever warmth his gaze held was balanced out by the way his lips curled back, how his tone turned into a snarl so easily. “What would you do if I opened that door? Run off and tell the cops? Knock on doors until you find someone willing to believe that a celebrity and his twin both tried to kidnap you, back to back? Or, would you go crawling back to ‘tsumu, see if he still wants you after you let his brother put his hands all over you?” He had a way of laughing at his own jokes, the noise so arrogant, so confident, so annoying, it was hard to believe he’d ever found anyone else funny. Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he couldn’t. “I’m trying to be nice, but if you make this hard for me, I’ll make it hard for you.”

You grit your teeth, but your body betrayed you, eyes flickering down to the cloth at your feet. “I can manage on my own--”

“Don’t lie to me.” His fingers were in your hair before you noticed he was moving, forcing your head to bow as his blunt nails dug into your scalp. “You’re helpless, and you know you are. If you aren’t in ‘tsumu’s bed, you’re gonna be in mine, and you’re smart enough to make the right choice. Fucking change, before I start to think it’d be easier to throw you out myself.”

You stiffened, going rigid under his palm. Then, you kneeled, taking up the silken fabric and casting him one last glare before retreating to the other side of the room, turning your back to Osamu as you slid Atumu’s shirt over your head.

Just exchanging one kidnapper for another.

Silently, Osamu watched as you fled and regrouped, facing away from him to hide the way your shoulders trembled, your body shaking so violently, Osamu couldn’t be sure whether or not you were trying to make him pity you. He didn’t mind, though. He’d been waiting months for this. Years, honestly, but Osamu’s teenage daydreams hardly centered around taking in his brother’s wayward brat. If Atsumu had tried to train you, he’d done a piss-poor job. You were as obedient as you would’ve been fresh-off the streets, and now you knew all the tricks and tactics of a well-worn captive.

Still, he’d be lying if he said he was disappointed. Already, a collection of incentives were burning holes in his mattress, tucked under his bed and waiting to be used the first time you acted-up with something more aggressive than words. Luckily, you were too preoccupied to notice his mouth moving in a silent prayer, words of thanks that you’d turned down his offer to use his phone. If you thought to go through his messages, his call history, you wouldn’t have liked what you found. He was already planning for how… distressed you’d be, at the next trade-off.

If you were this fussy to fall into Osamu’s care at all, he couldn’t imagine how you’d act when Atsumu’s next turn came around.

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stardustdiaries · 3 years

Text

Until we’re together once again

I'll be home for Christmas

DINCEMBER DAY 9 @dindjarindiaries

Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader

Summary: After Din gets injured, he pleads for you to stay and forget about the bounty hunt you had agreed to as Life Day is just around the corner.

Warning(s): Angst?? Fluff?? Very minor mention of injury aaaand I think that’s all, kids!

Word count: 3,105

°•°•°•°•°•°•°

“Riduur, you don't-"

You whipped around to look at Din, your heart shattering at his pleading eyes. The air was thick around you, almost as if it were trying to suffocate you. Steeling your resolve, you swing your bag over your shoulder as you holster your blaster by your side.

“Cyar’ika,” Din breathed, taking a timid step closer to you. His head tilted to the side slightly, causing for the bundle of curls that sat on top of his head to bounce softly. “please don’t go.”

You swallowed hard at the lump in your throat. Maker, your chest was so tight. Not finding a way to will yourself into speaking, you took a minute to take in his appearance.

His curls were a mess, though not in the unkempt, dirty way. It was cute. He fancied a red sweater you had gotten him as a gift during one of your supply runs.

You smiled at that.

The first signs of stubble decorated the surface of his skin and all you wanted to do was cup his face with your hands and stay there for the rest of time. His right arm sat in the clutches of the sling that hung from the opposite shoulder, rendered useless during his most recent hunt.

You dropped your head slightly, giving it a shake before willing yourself to look up at his eyes.

Stars, what you would give to take away all the concern and sadness that washed over his dark eyes.

Din took another step, now mere inches away from you. He gently pressed his forehead against yours, eyes fluttering close to keep you from seeing the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. “Stay, cyar’ika, please. The bounty can wait.” His words cracked as he spoke, tugging at your heart violently.

Now it was your turn to keep the stinging tears at bay. Shakily, you sucked in a sharp breath. “We need the credits, Din.”

“Cyar’ika, what if something-"

“Din,” you cut him off as your hands reached out for that of his good arm. Tenderly, your fingers began tracing over every silver and faded scar that painted the canvas that was his skin. “everything will be okay.”

He remained silent, forehead still pressed against yours in a Keldabe kiss as he took a deep breath. Greedily, he basked in the warmth of your skin, his heart constricting at the knowledge that he’ll have to live without it for Maker knows how many days.

Din didn’t want you to go after the quarry. He hated the idea of it, not because he didn’t think that you could handle it- heck, you were one of the only bounty hunters who made him fight for his quarries. You two were the best of the best, always stealing targets from each other until you teamed up to protect the Child.

But he knew about the emotional toll this kind of work took on you. The price hanging over this quarry's head was nerve-wracking. You wouldn’t be the only hunter going after them, and for the amount of credits this job could earn you, other hunters would be out for blood. And Din wouldn’t be there with you if anything were to happen.

But that wasn’t the only thing haunting Din. Life Day was coming up and this would be your first time celebrating together ever since you both exchanged vows. He didn’t know what he would do if you weren’t to come home in time to celebrate- if you were able to make it home at all.

“Come back home, cyar’ika.” Din choked, the words heavy as they struggled to tumble out of his mouth. He finally dared to open his eyes and try to tattoo your image onto his memory. “Come back to me.”

You could feel his gaze on you, but you couldn’t let him see the tears that were still trying to push through your eyelids. So you squeezed your eyes as tightly as you could and clenched your jaw. You were still holding onto his hand like a lifeline, afraid to let go.

Slowly, you brought his hand up to your lips, letting them graze over his skin before planting a kiss onto his hand. Then another, and another.

You opened your eyes, letting them fall over his distraught features. With a clumsy, deep kiss to his lips, you pulled away as you tugged at the bag that hung from your shoulder.

“I’ll be back for Life Day, riduur.”

---------------------------------------------

You’ve been gone for two weeks, stuck roaming a planet not too far from your own. The quarry was close by, you could feel it in your bones. You had to get this right. Day and night, you’ve been traveling all over the planet, the tracking fob that dangled from your belt being the only guide you had on this hunt.

You were now back at the Crest, putting your exhausted muscles to rest as you slumped into the pilot seat. The holotransceiver Din had gifted you twirled around your fingers, as if the action was your one and only method of relaxation. Messages between you and Din have been scarce and too spaced out from one another.

Life Day was only days away now; you didn’t know if you could uphold the promise you had whispered into Din's ears. You knew Din still had hope, that he’d been sending prayers to the Maker for you to come home. You could hear it the quiet cracks the resonated in his voice, how he struggled to stabilize his trembling words.

If you truly were as close to the quarry as you thought, you would need to go off grid. Radio silence. You had to make this last message count before you vanished for Maker knows how long.

With a heavy sigh, you placed the holotransceiver on the Crest's control panel in front of you. You rubbed the exhaustion off your eyes, straightened your posture and curled your lips into the best smile you could muster at the moment. There was no need to give him any reason to worry about you.

Steeling your resolve, you clicked the holotransceiver on and began to record your message.

“Hey, riduur,” you smiled, fiddling with the tips of your gloves. “I apologize for taking so long to respond to your messages, things have been…challenging.” You looked up, hoping that when he opened your message, your eyes would meet his. “I-I think I might be close to finishing the job,” you chuckled softly, already feeling tears welling in your eyes. “Riduur, it’ll get dangerous soon- I know I’m not the only one who’s close to finding out where the target is hiding. After this, I need to cut contact- for my safety and your own,” You paused.

Blinking away the tears before they dared to spill, you ran your hands over your face tiredly. Your heart was heavy, your throat tight and face hot.

“I…I don’t know if I’ll make it back in time, love.” You bit your lip, hard enough to draw a slip of blood. “I’m so sorry, riduur; I promise I’ll do everything in my power to come back to you and the Child.” The ghost of a smile danced over your lips and your figure relaxed against the pilot seat as you looked onto the holotransceiver. “I love you Din and miss you so much. Give the Child my love.”

You gave your famous two-fingered salute, tilting your head to the side. “Until we’re together once again,” you spoke your goodbye, charging it with as much love and longing possible before clicking off the holotransceiver.

You have to get this right.

---------------------------------

“Dank farrik!” You hissed through gritted teeth, clutching your side tightly where you received a nasty blaster shot.

That’s gonna scar nicely.

You bit down on your bottom lip, choking back a whimper as you disinfected your injured skin. Slowly, you swiped the disinfectant over your side, watching how the cloth you used turned crimson as it made contact with the wound.

You'd captured the quarry- it was nicely tucked away in the Crest’s backlog after being frozen in carbonite. The job hadn’t been easy, you received more hits than you would like to admit, but after all is said and all is done, you got the job done. You’d have to report to Karga later, but that could wait; you had something more important to worry about today.

It’s Life Day.

The holotrasceiver had beeped a day or two ago, but you hadn’t dared to open the message. You longed to do it, to let Din’s voice slip into your ears, to capture every detail of his face and attach it to your memory. But you didn’t. Being away for so long did a nasty number on you; you couldn’t risk breaking down when you still had a job to do. You would’ve packed up your things and piloted the Crest back home in an instant if you dared open his message.

But the job was done; you were going home.

Cursing out as you realized that you’d forgotten to restock on bacta, you messily placed a strip of gauze over your bleeding wound before taping it down, praying to the Maker that it’ll hold until you got home. You tucked away the medpac into a corner in your compartment, huffing a puff of air as you limped to the ladder that led you to the cockpit. Once in your place on the pilot seat, you pulled out the holotransceiver and placed it in its usual place on the control center. Clicking the device on, you allowed yourself to finally listen to your riduur’s voice. You melted onto the pilot seat, your muscles exhausted after the day’s workload and lifted your eyes as your riduur’s image began to shine in front of you.

Din’s recording began to play and you smiled at the sight of him with the Child snuggled up by the crook of the elbow of his good arm. He looked down at his son before lifting his eyes, your chest tightening as they found yours. “Hi, cyar’ika,” he said softly, looking down at the Child to make sure he was asleep. “We’ve missed you so much- I have missed you so much, riduur.” As he spoke, he flashed you a smile, but you caught onto how tired and sad it was.

Your heart sank.

“The kid and I have been trying to keep busy around here- he’s been great helping out with small chores. We’ve also been getting the house ready for…” Hi voice faltered, almost as if he was struggling to push the words up his throat. Squeezing his eyes shut, his chest rose as he took in a deep breath. “…for Life Day.”

Catching your bottom lip between your teeth, you looked away, fully knowing he couldn’t see the tears that dangled from your lashes before racing down your cheeks.

Being away from each other was something you both struggled with ever since Mando began taking less and less jobs. You both longed to be together, safe and warm in each other’s embrace as the world faded away. The cracks in Din's voice were a testament of the hope he still clung to- hope that the Maker would answer his prayers and bring you home.

“Come back to us, cyar’ika,”

Din’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts, only now making you realize that you had shed more fiery tears than you had originally thought. His dark eyes glossed over much like your own, though his tense shoulders gave away how he was forcing back the tears. His chest trembled with his breaths as he tried to compose himself. “Come back to me, please. I don’t know how many more nights without you I can handle, riduur. I need you here- with us.”

Shaking his head softly, he managed to curl the corners of his lips into a small, hopeful smile. “I love you, cyar’ika.” He then mimicked your previous parting gesture, tilting his head to the side in acknowledgement as he gave a sloppy two-fingered salute.

“Until we’re together once again,”

At that, his image vanished, leaving the weight of silence crush your ribcage. You heaved a breath, wiping away the stale tracks that were left behind by your hot tears, hands flying over the control center as if nothing else in the world mattered.

Because nothing else did.

You punched in the coordinates of your next stop and got the ship airborne as if it were second nature. Once the Crest blew past the planet’s atmosphere and everything was in order, you pushed the ship into hyperspace and felt the weight of the galaxy drop onto your shoulders as the stars around you blurred into streaks of silver and blue.

You clicked on the holotransceiver and spoke the words you’ve been dreaming about ever since you left.

“I’m coming home, riduur,” you breathed. “I’ll be home for Life Day.”

---------------------------------------

When the holotransceiver beeped, Din almost set the kitchen on fire.

He had settled the Child in the livingroom, letting him play with the toys he had unwrapped and opened early in the morning before striding to the kitchen where he was now trying to make what he realized was one of your favorite recipes. Keyword ‘trying' as there is only so much he can do with one arm. After a few burns to his fingertips, quiet curses and one-too-many failed attempts at getting the right ingredients, the sound of the holotransceiver beeping from the dining room made his eyes double in size as his heart slammed itself against his ribcage.

In that instant, Din dropped everything with a loud clatter and raced to the dining room to recover the device that held your voice within it. He saw the Child perk up at this as a small coo left his mouth, tilting his head in questioning. Din joined his son in the living room and clicked the device on, watching the Child smile as your face came up before them.

Your message was short, but those words you breathed to life and- oh, Maker- your smile were enough to make Din’s heart beat at light speed. Din gasped softly, a shockwave of joy washing over his features almost in disbelief as he replayed your message over and over again, each time letting your words sink in a little deeper.

Din picked up the Child, bouncing him up and down in his arm, getting a mixture of coos and giggles to erupt from the little one. Sending a silent ‘thank you' to the Maker, Din rushed to get everything set- food, decorations, music; it all had to be perfect for your arrival. He spent hours upon hours making sure everything was as it should be, but his smile wouldn’t falter or slip even when he kept getting the recipe wrong.

You were finally coming home.

-------------------------------------

The sun had set faster than expected- a few hours ago, actually. And there was still no sign of you or the Crest.

Din had begun to pace around the living room, certain that he would end up losing it if he didn’t let up. He kept checking the time, slightly convincing himself that maybe he could will time to go a bit faster and bring you home. Running his hand through his curls for the umpteenth time in only a matter of minutes, he willed himself to take in a deep breath.

“Cyar’ika, where are you?” he muttered under his breath, concern choking his words as they tumbled out into the air. “I…I should’ve gone with her.” Din said with a sigh, clenching and unclenching his fist by his side as a way to release the stress that fell like a weight on his chest. Almost instantly, he shook his head vigorously, trying to get every worst-case scenario to evaporate just as quickly as they had materialized. “No, she’s fine,” he whispered to himself, squeezing his eyes shut. “she’s okay…just running late.” His words wavered slightly on that last beat and he couldn’t help but mentally kick himself for it.

Unbeknownst to him, you were already standing by the doorway, a look of amusement dancing over your exhaustion as you heard his anxious rants. Silently, you dropped your bag and stepped through the doorway, taking in a greedy breath of relief as the reality of being home flooded your senses. With a lazy smile, you continued to listen to your riduur's rants until you decided to speak up.

“Din, is everything okay? You asked innocently, biting back a laugh at how he froze in place and his eyes seemed to impossibly double in size.

Din’s head snapped in your direction and he stared at you for a few seconds, as if trying to convince himself that he wasn’t crazy. Slowly, his eyes softened and were flooded with every bit of love and joy that seemed to crash over him. With a breath of disbelief, he took a step closer to you, his smile growing as he took in the sight of you.

Maker, he couldn’t tell if his heart was racing or if it had stopped the moment his eyes fell on you.

“Cyar’ika, you’re home!” he laughed, cupping your face with his hand as he lost himself in your eyes for what felt like the first time in forever.

You giggled, looking up at him adoringly through heavy eyelids. Humming in delight as your forehead pressed against his, you let yourself melt at his touch, feeling every bit of your body ignite at his warmth. “Oh, how I’ve missed you,” you choked softly, taking his hand in your own and pressing your lips against his scarred skin.

Din smiled adoringly at the gesture, tightening his grip on your hand slightly as he declared it was his turn to shower you with kisses. Slowly, he planted a kiss on your forehead, moving down to your cheeks and finally your lips. The kiss started out slowly, but neither one of you hesitated on melting into each other as the kiss began to deepen itself. Your hands reached up to the back of his head, pulling him towards you, closing whatever gap stood between your figures. His hand travelled down to your waist, keeping you steady until you finally broke away from each other, absolutely breathless and just as in love with each other as the first time you exchanged whispers of three little words.

After smiling into one last peck on his lips. Your foreheads were once again pressed together as you both caught the breaths your lungs begged for.

“Happy Life Day, riduur.”

Happy Life Day, cyar’ika.”

#dincember #din djarin x y/n #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian #mandalorian x you #mandalorian x reader #grogu djarin #grogu #starwars #razor crest #this is the way #disneyplus #pedro pascal

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kingfakey · 3 years

Note

hey there, i was just wondering how did u do the windows and shadows on the post uploaded on the 6th of May on render please? Looks amazeballs

hello lovely anon! do you mean this render? i've gotten a lot of questions about it and people wondering how it was done, so this feels long overdo.

buckle up!

also, if this doesn't help, or just brings up more questions than you had to begin with, please feel free to message me off anon and i'll hop into your DMs to hold your hand and help you through it!

step one: the windows.

literally any windows will work, whether they're cc or from the game themselves. apply the material/texture as usual, but when it comes to the panes of glass, the most important thing is the glass shader. the glass shader you use has a lot, lot, lot to do with how the end result you're gonna get looks. you want your glass to reflect, be transparent, allow light through, and not create a lot of blur and caustics (as glass tends to do). this is my glass shader node set up, and i'm very proud of it, and anyone is welcome to use it. i don't need credit, just think of me and blow a kiss to the sky and i'll get the energy. 💕

in the instance of this render, the windows (and the wall they're on) are at a 45 degree angle, which in this case, creates a lot more light than most windows would because of the angle. it takes some fiddling to make it stick, but angling your windows are suuuper worth it for the effect it creates.

step two: the environment.

if you're not familiar with the world shader, you're about to meet her! you can find it in your shading panel, here. for a quick run down, i recommend this tutorial to get you started, because it's something that's good to have a basic understanding of, and this should give you a little foundation to start from!

you can find a buttload of HDRI here, too, from HDRI haven.

the environment your render is using has a lot to do with what lighting will happen. some HDRI create indoor light, or outdoor light, night time, or any number of things. this all sounds really complicated, but the node set up for it is actually much more simple than the youtube men will make it out to be. it's five nodes. (i've noticed that usually when you put one in, the entire scene will be flipped upside down, so that 180 value is in the X rotiation to flip the entire world rightside up!)

see also: the strength is normally set to 1, but i like to turn it up higher to really make it bright outside, but this depends on the HDRI you're going to be using. night time scenes should probably still be a 1.

i've rendered out a few shots using the same set up, just changing out the HDRI every time to create a slightly different effect!

1. urban street 04

2. kloppenheim 02

3. blaubeuren night

#blender tutorial #blender help #asks #this is also important but i didn't know where to fit it #turn on node wrangler!!#edit > preferences > add ons #use the search function to search for 'node'#you'll find node wrangler as an option-- turn it on to enable it #now if you hit ctrl+t when you're working #it will create the image texture+the mapping node+and the texture coordinates in one go #it's a life saver #it allows you to group them too #node wrangler is something more people need to know about it because it's super helpful #there are a lot of other things going into the render like the compositor set up and blah blah blah #but one thing at a time!

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lunetual · 3 years

Note

✨ can i.... do i... yeah.... SLCKSKLD ive always been curious abt this cause u say how all my works are ur favourite ):< i am not worthy of such a compliment

OKAY WOO!! cmere. cmere and let me fight say nice things about your work. i know i always say that... everything you make is my favorite so. i’m going to pick my MOST favorite favorites, but keep in mind. they’re all my favorite. just in general, you have just a fantastic eye for design! i know you favor neutral and earth tones but when you venture out you do a great job with palettes that pop without like. making your eyes burn. and you are GREAT with fonts. literally cannot wait to see what you make in the future really!!!

hmm.... this is gonna go under the cut. in no particular order!!

1. okay okay so. i might be fond of this because it was the first piece of Wootent(TM) i saw BUT. i really love all the little details and easter eggs you slipped into your netflix edit! like really all the details... insane. i know i mentioned i noticed how you hid your handle and integrated it into the edit and i was like... op is CLEVER. a THINKER. ;aldskfjldksfj. not to mention i was sooo delighted by the fact that you incorporated both video and still graphics into the post. like why don’t we do that more? we should do that more. i actually hate video work so i won’t be doing that. but. in general. if people like video they should do it more. it was really the way i was like. help i want this netflix show so badly.

2. i know you!!! said you were fighting every step of the way with this one aslkdfjalsdjf but i loved your top kpop songs of 2021 so far set. it was really fun and creative and you colored the gifs beautifully. the spinning records were so cute and again i loved the overall layout of each song.

3. a;sdkfjls;ldkf i only have three slots left help!!! okay okay so. gyugle! it was just SUCH a cute idea to begin with. and then you really. worked so hard on every little detail!! the neutral color palette... the icons... all of the motion graphic elements... all of the emails, the file names, the sidebar.... INSANE. i literally could NEVER i bow down in awe at your patience etc. and i’m still sobbing about how cute the bear ears are.......

4. moarevival ul:kin yeonjun. obviously. the 3d rendering, insanely cool. as i said. i could never!! it looks so good too ahhhh. so skill level to achieve all of this aside, this one is a personal favorite because this is an aesthetic i tend to favor! the neutrals and blacks are delicious.... really.... and every single panel is perfect on its own, and then altogether it’s so harmonious and pleasing to the eye. like literally when you dropped this i spent. so much time staring at each individual panel and then all of it together and i’m still so so so impressed by it! (my favorite panel is probably! the second one...... loved the transition from the abstract shapes to those photos of yeonjun split across the circle. also typeface-wise, great choice as always + i love an outline font. very ~editorial~ feeling like really i could keep this talking about this one but i’ll spare you!!!

5. YELLOW CAB X YEONJUN!!!!! really really i looooved this one so much. first of all. fight teaser...... lives rent free in my head it’s really my favorite of the two concepts like theeee way it made me feel..... and then you slapped that together with yellow cab?? the taste... the taste. i loved the colors and how well you integrated the aesthetic of yellow cab throughout each panel AND i loved the way certain graphic elements were split across images too! makes it flow so well. i adored every single element you clipped gifs into but the microsoft paint window ESPECIALLY. the overall look of this was so killer you have such a great eye for balance and for being intentional about every part of your graphics. i never ever feel like you slap something on just for the sake of it, everything you add has a reason and that’s like. THE key to good graphic design. every decision with a purpose. you’re so so good already <3 and you’re just going to get better <3 i mean it when i say you are one of the most creative designers i’ve come across and literally in grad school. evaluating art directors was. one of my jobs a;dslkfjsdlkffak so!!!

bestie i’m so sorry that was so long. <3 but. wootent fan blog first txt blog second!!! mwah ily keep up the amazing work, you KNOW i’ll be hyping you up!!

#asked and answered #useryeonjuins #mwah woo again... sorry it's so long #ask game

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grumpyoldsnake · 4 years

Photo

[Brief image description: A series of illustrations of Gerou teaching in front of a blackboard. The illustrations repeat, each in a different art style; at the end is a collection of doodles mixing the art styles and a few notes reflecting on the exercise. Full description and transcript starting at the heading below the cut. End ID.]

Part one of some recent style studies I’ve been doing, featuring Gerou struggling with student teaching!

I wanted to explore how different artists that I like handle stylization and simplification in comics, and when I asked around several people gave me permission to post the results. I recommend checking them out!

1) Harbourmaster is by @waywardmartian.

2) Never Satisfied is by @ohcorny.

3) Broken is by @yubriamakesart.

4) @doodledrawsthings makes a lot of content that is posted to tumblr, most recently a fair amount of A Hat in Time fanart.

Thank you all for the permission to post! ^_^ I'm having a lot of fun with this.

Side notes:

I genuinely thought that the Harbourmaster style would be easiest for me, since it contains roughly the same amount of detail as my own style and since I’m like 75% sure that reading it as a younger teen informed a lot of my own style and character designs. Turns out it was actually the hardest! Perhaps because, since there aren’t as many blatantly fundamental differences, I had to pay more careful attention to proportions and specific forms? .

Never Satisfied was interesting! Alongside the work of Doodledrawsthings it’s definitely the furthest from my own style, and choosing Gerou for this honestly doesn’t do that difference full justice. I looked a lot at Fidelia, Sylas’s mom, and Thierry in trying to figure out how Gerou’s facial features would translate. Part two of my plans is to explore different character designs that might make fuller use of the difference in style, heh. (In other news: Colored lineart looks very neat and studying how it’s handled in NS is the first time I’ve been able to carry it off in a reasonable time frame, hah.) .

Broken is just... very pretty, y’all. xD I don’t think it really saved me any time or much ease of drawing over my own style, but it’s very nice to look at. And I think the style differences and specific simplifications do lend themselves very well towards creating more consistency than I ever manage in my own art. Noticing the patterned way of drawing ear details was a fun moment for me, I’d never really thought of codifying anything that way before! .

I did the first drawing in Doodledrawsthings’s style (the 3/4ths view in the turnaround) and thought “Oh goodness this is lovely and quick and feels nice.” It’s very nearly the first time drawing something in a cartoony style has ever come easily for me. But... I struggled much more with every other drawing in that style, ahah. Still, it was comparatively quick and I do love the expressiveness of the stylized eyes. :D This is another style where I think I’ll need to explore a wider range of character designs, though. I think it’s also worth thinking about how character design is fundamentally changed in some ways by the change in style; some of what I would think about designing a character specifically for that style is very different from the details I would normally think about when designing a character.

[Detailed image description:

A series of images repeating the same content in different art styles, followed up by a page of sketches and a page with text notes.

The repeated content is a turnaround of the character Gerou as well as a short two-panel comic showing Gerou as a student teacher in front of a blackboard. Gerou is a thin white man with sallow freckled skin, a large hooked nose, long wavy brown hair, and glowing orange-yellow eyes. In the comic, in the first panel he gestures animatedly with a wide smile and says, “Oh, that’s easy! If you just--” then breaks off. In the second panel he holds up a hand as if asking for a pause, and says, “...wait,” with visible consternation.

The sketches feature continued style experimentation with Gerou making a number of expressions and gestures, including: absolutely failing to maintain a good pokerface; looking stressed; various smiles, from tired to nervous to wide and happy; sighing tiredly; sticking out his tongue with arms crossed huffily; arguing with someone; drinking tea; and fighting off a dizzy spell.

The text image is headlined Thoughts and reads as follows:

Think less about reducing details and more about streamlining said details into shapes that are easy to repeat consistently?

Experiment with different ways of rendering mouths and eyes; they can change the feel of an expression

There are no rules; vary style as needed with panel size/detail, emotion that needs depicted, etc. Prioritize information conveyed.

Increasing detail on teeth beyond your baseline makes them look gritted/tensed/bared

Sometimes low contrast is nice

Emotion backgrounds are fun!

Gotta learn to loosen up (though I knew that already hhhh)

Simplified hands are lovely. (So, so much easier. Not sure I’m gonna go back anytime soon except for anatomy practice sketching, heh.)

End image description.]

#I have been hyperfocused on this for a week straight whoops #art #style study #artists on tumblr #style experiment #comics #my art #my stuff #sketches #Gerou #Imperfect Science #image described

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theres-no-protocol-for-this · 4 years

Text

Raiders

Part I

In space, shitty things still happen, even to otherwise nice SecUnits. Part II of the strange idea that’s been wandering around in my head.

According to Transport, we exited a wormhole into one of the lesser-used shipping lanes and were scheduled to jump again within a matter of hours. Six cycles into the trip, I was getting used to dealing with the somewhat hyperactive ship and its significantly calmer captain.

Right then, I was sitting on the floor in the ship's control room while it happily described what the instrument panels around me were used for. The Traveler liked teaching, and it especially liked that I was completely unfamiliar with how wormhole jumps functioned. I think it appreciated having a lot of ground to cover and a captive audience at its disposal.

Security constructs don't get much in the way of education. I know several ways of rendering a human unconscious but have never seen any marine-based lifeforms. Also, listening to Transport and Skye explain the details behind wormhole jumps helped to pass the time.

Right then, the ship was demonstrating how its external shields worked to keep stray debris from puncturing holes in its exterior hull. The resulting light show looked absolutely stunning. I might've stood there for a few seconds, just marveling at the view, when our proximity alarms went off.

I tapped into the feed just in time to overhear as the ship updated the captain in real-time about the nature of the alarm. Transport had given me near-unlimited access to its resources at some point after leaving the station, so I could see its own diagnostics.

Results: we'd been shot.

According to the ship's piecemeal timeline, an unknown vessel had entered real space moments after us. Wile Transport was still ascertaining the identity of the newcomer, the smaller vessel had fired on us. Several large, projectile missiles were incoming; according to Transport's calculations, at least some of the damage would likely penetrate through its deflective shielding.

Owens sprinted up to the bridge and dropped unceremoniously into the pilot's seat. "Strap yourself in," she told me, pointing at one of the other chairs in the room. "This is gonna get bumpy."

I got up and took a couple of steps toward the nearest seat, and then the ship around me shook and seemed to twist. Like someone had flickered the gravity off and then back on again. The captain swore under her breath while Transport explained, "We've been grabbed by a tractor beam. Unidentified vessel on approach. Vector analysis places its approach near our cargo bay airlock."

"Is that... common?"

"It's probably raiders. Probably looking to board and see what they can grab." The captain's hands flowed across the controls with insane speeds, for a human at least. "That's the most common tactic. They stage hit-and-runs in sectors where corporate security's low and there are no rescue stations nearby."

Transport added, "ETA three minutes."

I went straight for the bridge door. "I'm going down there." Up there, technically, since the cargo bay sat on the periphery of the habitable sections of the ship. I might be of absolutely no use in a space-based fight, but if anyone stepped foot onto the Traveler...

Well, that I could do something about.

"SecUnit, wait." Skye twisted in her seat. "You need a weapon." She gestured toward a locker that popped open at her command. "We'll do what we can to buy you time. Don't get killed out there."

My insides melted, figuratively speaking. I wasn't sure what the fuck to do with this feeling; it's not a common occurrence for humans to care about the survival of their SecUnits.

"Yes, ma'am," said my buffer -- presumably to the bit about needing a weapon.

I grabbed a projectile weapon from the armory locker and sprinted down the hall to the cargo area. Transport rode shotgun inside my head. It was also helping Owens outmaneuver, or at least stall, the raiders. And it was sending out distress messages to nearby beacons. Helpfully, it sent me a video feed out of the outside of the cargo airlock.

The raiders' smaller but much faster ship looked like a dark blob in a sea of darkness. I could only identify the vessel because Transport was marking its position and trajectory for me. The cylindrical shell was coming directly at us, flattened nose facing toward us.

"ETA, 45 seconds," Transport informed me when I reached the cargo bay.

The inside of the cargo space looked like a giant, open warehouse. It was filled with boxes of various shapes and sizes, all started somewhat haphazardly in uneven rows. The layout had something to do with how the freight would be dropped off at the Transport's many destinations. As far as a firefight went, I had plenty of cover.

I chose a hiding spot on top of a metal box that was almost twice my height. Tossing a gun on top, I clambered up after it and lay prone, watching the airlock door. The ship lent me a couple of its drones, and I stationed them around the room, giving me a bird's-eye view of the incoming assholes.

Five hostiles tried to board the Traveler.

Their ship spat out a long, flexible tube, which attached itself to the outside of our airlock. Someone inside the tube manually released the seals holding the airlock shut and then pushed open the heavy metal door with a mining tool. Ugly but effective.

Transport slammed down its atmosphere-sealing barriers to keep air from escaping into the vacuum of space, but the momentary depressurization felt sickening. I might be made of synthetic parts, but my internals sent off a flurry of error messages.

The raiders stepped into the cargo space in a huddled bundle of bodies and projectile weapons. They wore heavily-shielded space suits, almost as though those suits provided armor. Hint: they mostly don't. Even in the room's dim lighting, I could see them moving through the drone's cameras. I could also hear their stops echoing through the open space. Beyond sticking together, they didn't appear to have any kind of formation.

Outside of the dangerous weapons, these were amateurs. Huh.

The captain pinged me that she was in the safe room just down the hall. She was ready to provide backup, but honestly, I didn't want her anywhere near the fighting. Too many well-meaning humans had shot me before -- all while trying to be helpful. Also, humans can't take nearly as much damage as constructs. Maybe that last reason was the most pressing one.

The targets looked around and started banging on a few of the closest boxes. One of them produced a hand scanner and waved it around. I was pretty sure they were communicating with each other via a private comm system, which meant that Transport probably couldn't shut it down. It was checking anyway because it had the processing power to spare.

Meanwhile, I lined up a shot from where I was hidden on top of a container. Once the firefight started, I would have a limited amount of time to take out the intruders. I had a plan—sort of.

I took out the target on the left, now dubbed Hostile One. They were the most daring of the bunch and had put some distance between themselves and the rest of their group. It made them an easy target. They were also the one with the scanner, so taking them out would slow the rest of the group.

The shot tore through the raider's shoulder, piercing the suit. The bullet must've lodged inside the human because there was no exit hole, so far as I could tell. Hostile One dropped their gun and yelped in obvious pain. The rest of the group gaped at their now-bleeding friend and then started waving their own weapons around menacingly. As though it would somehow help them locate the shooter.

Hint: it wouldn't.

Unfortunately for me, the recoil on my weapon hurt like help. It probably shouldn't have, if I could hold the large gun correctly, but with only one arm, that wasn't going to happen. Given the circumstances, I turned down my pain receptor and aimed again.

I managed to get a second shot at one of the other hostiles before the group collectively figured out where I was and started shooting. Hostile Two wasn't as lucky as his friend. My hit took his arm clean off. Most of the enemy fire went wide -- I have no idea where they were aiming -- but when I tried to take out asshole number three, one of their bullets hit me in the chest.

I dropped my weapon and backed away, out of their line of fire. I still had my in-built arm cannon, but I would need to get closer to use it effectively. It wasn't meant for long-distance fighting.

Memory fragment: there's a human on the ground. They look exhausted. I can see bruises on their bare arms. A different human gestures toward me and tells me to shoot. I do.

In the feed, Transport had shared the video from my eyes and the drones with the captain. So, she knew I'd gotten shot. Owens should have stayed put; if I was in charge of security, I would have advised her not to engage. But the Traveler wasn't my responsibility, and this wasn't a contract. Also, I didn't have time to verbalize any of that before the captain left the perfectly safe room and came through the door behind me.

The two remaining raiders reacted to the sudden noise by shooting anything and everything. Transport thought they might be scared; I told it that I didn't care what they were, other than hostile and annoying. I scooted forward, angled my arm, and shot the fourth hostile in the face. That took out the raider's suit, and he crumpled to the floor.

Meanwhile, the last asshole caught sight of the captain -- she was trying to keep a low profile, but the suits probably had some amount of targeting support built-in. In the split second while the one remaining raider set up her shot, I calculated my odds and then rolled off my hiding platform and landed between her and Owens.

Oh, for fuck's sake, I thought as the raider shot me. Pretty much point-blank. I shoved my arm cannon in her face and fired. And fuck, being shot hurts! Then, I looked down at myself.

I was leaking and didn't feel good.

The whole thing might've gone way better if I had two working arms, but more importantly, if the human had let me just do my job. Still, I was moving, and the hostiles weren't. That had to count for something.

Owens ran up to me and took stock. Her expression went from concerned to horrified. She had the gun holstered with the safety on, so that was one less thing to worry about.

Transport burst into my feed. "Are you all right?"

Fucking stupid question. "Performance reliability rating at 50% and dropping."

"Report to the medical bay immediately."

That was the logical course of action, and I knew it. But the moment the medical suit got its hands on me, it would know about my short circuited governor. Odds were good that it would fix that along with everything else. So, I didn't want to go anywhere near it.

I probably should've said that. Instead, what came out was: "Fuck you."

Skye, who was privy to the exchange, shook her head. "Whatever you're worried about, we'll take care of you. I promise. Just do that thing I asked and don't die on us."

"I don't want to go back."

"You don't have to," the captain reiterated.

"If MedSystem fixes me, I might."

"Not on my watch. SecUnit, Medical, now. Or I will drag you there, kicking and screaming."

I made it to the medical platform on my own. MedSystem scanned me while I leaked onto its pristine and sterile surface and then informed me that I had a terminal case of being a construct. It didn't phrase it quite like that, but I got the gist.

Performance rating dropping.

Thanks, useless diagnostic tool, for stating the obvious. I turned off the notification and backburned the data coming from my body. MedSystem would have to sort out what was and wasn't working because I was getting little more than garbage data by then. And everything hurt. And I was freezing. And there was a shutdown threatening, postponed only by the medical system's attempts to stabilize me.

Transport spoke up. "It'll be all right."

"No, it won't," I told it.

"Want to watch something together?"

"I don't think I could concentrate on anything." I doubted I had enough awareness for much of anything.

"I downloaded a standard construct template, and I've customized it a little. You'll like it."

Consciousness was fading fast. I think I said something about not wanting to be human. I don't know for sure what, if anything, came out.

#fanfic #the murderbot diaries #SecUnit #memories #into the unknown

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presumenothing · 4 years

Text

living, fast and slow

OK SO who remembers marvel au? no? well you’re getting it anyway because i went spelunking in my eternal wips today and found this sitting around basically done. so there

(AO3)

Shinichi doesn’t bother looking up when Hattori flops down beside him on the park bench, two cans of cold milk tea balanced precariously in one hand. “So, neechan seems ta think that you’ve been all broody over something lately.”

“Which one?”

Hattori frowns as he passes one of the cans over. “Which what?”

Shinichi gives him the most unimpressed look he can muster – what did Kazuha see in this man, honestly. “You call almost all of the women ‘neechan’, Hattori. Real specific of you.”

“Well, it works just fine, doesn’t it?” Hattori says with a shrug. “And it pretty much is all of them this time, anyway. Stop stalling, Kudo, unless you actually want your neechan going all Murder Soldier on ya.”

And that, well – aye, there’s the rub, Shinichi’s mother would’ve said.

At least Shakespeare’s still a thing in the future, he thinks.

Shinichi toys absently with the ring tab before pulling it up carefully (they’ve lost track of how many cans he’s ruined by yanking too hard). He doesn’t need any enhanced senses to feel Hattori staring a hole through his head, but he ignores it and takes a long drink.

It’s not fair at all, really, getting asked things like this when he can’t even get drunk.

“...damn,” Hattori says, eventually. “It is bad, isn’t it.”

Shinichi doesn’t answer, doesn’t trust his voice to, only reaches into his pocket to pull out a small wooden box that weighs heavy on his palm.

Hattori’s hesitant at first, but takes the box at Shinichi’s slight nod, turning it over in his hands. “A puzzlebox, Kudo? You really like your mysteries, don’t ya.”

Shinichi shrugs, this time, and leans back on the bench, eyes drifting closed.

It’s almost pleasant, listening to Hattori sliding the patterned panels this way and that, muttering to himself under his breath as he tries to figure out the sequence that Shinichi could’ve remembered in his sleep. To pretend, just for a while, that there’s nothing more to this than a puzzle, rather than the most important mystery of his life.

“That’s – ”

He’s managed to render Hattori Heiji, patron saint of banter, completely speechless. Kazuha would probably call that an achievement.

“...wow, um. That’s one hell of a thing, Kudo.”

Shinichi manages to quirk a smile at that – Hattori’s literally incapable of beating around a bush if his life depended on it, but apparently understatement is at least on the menu.

“They found it in my personal effects, after we – ” his voice cracks. “After. Either they didn’t realise what it was, or they never managed to figure out how to open it. Maybe they assumed that the mechanism had gotten damaged during a fight or something.”

Shinichi doesn’t bother entertaining any illusion that whoever had the box wouldn’t have at least tried opening it. The headlines of history didn’t allow for such things – The last tragedy: War hero planning to marry made for better news than Cap’s final secret remains unsolved.

(If it’d been anything else, anyone else, Shinichi might’ve been mad at that implication, that a bunch of strangers had looked at this and seen only another piece of history to be decoded, the last problem of his life on display.

This once, though – he’s just. Numb.)

“I was gonna propose to her once the war was over.” Shinichi laughs, bitter, and swipes one hand impatiently across his eyes. “Look where we are now.”

Hattori’s quiet for a long while – they both are.

Shinichi finishes his milk tea in the silence.

“Did she know?” Hattori asks.

“Only about the box, not what was inside.” Shinichi lifts the ring out of its hiding place, running a finger over the inscription, but leaves the box where it is. “Most of the people in my unit knew, probably – I kept it in my pocket every time we got sent out.”

Though he wouldn’t be surprised if some of the Howling Commandos had guessed – it was unsurprising, the amount of things you learnt about people when you regularly fought Nazis with less plans than grenades.

But they’d kept the knowledge to themselves if they had. Shinichi’s read the opinions from various sources – the speculation is wild, to say the least, but it means something that there are guesses about the box containing the last of the supersoldier serum but nothing even close to hitting the truth.

“Not that it ever blocked a bullet or anything, I had the shield for that, but it still felt like – ”

(Shinichi’s clenched his hand around the empty can without quite realising it, and he forces himself to let go, to uncurl his fingers from the metal.

He’s broken too many things already.)

“ – like a good luck charm, y’know? Like everything would be fine as long as I had it. And don’t laugh, I know you carry that omamori from Kazuha with you everywhere we go.”

“Do you see me smiling, Kudo?” Hattori retorts, and it’s true; he looks serious, more than Shinichi’s ever seen him. “I don’t – jeez, man, how long have ya been keepin‘ a lid on this?”

Shinichi bites his lip, and locks the box again with a soft snick.

“Oh my god,” Hattori mutters under his breath, and Shinichi smiles despite himself at how incredulous he sounds. “For the record, I’m deeply offended on all of our behalfs – behalves? Is that even a word? – our collective behalf that you actually thought we wouldn’t take you seriously. Even the robot neechan, and you know she doesn’t believe in this stuff unless she’s got another super lucky fortune from the shrine again.”

“Yeah, well. Didn’t work out so well in the end, did it.” Shinichi hasn’t thought about the train in a while, what with all the ruckus that’s happened – it both hurts more and less, knowing everything he does now.

He hadn’t even been able to look at the box without flinching, after the train. Almost been tempted to leave it in that bombed-out shell of a bar, though he’d settled for hiding it amongst his belongings instead. Regretted both choices when first the arctic ice then the twenty-first century had rushed up to meet him in turn.

He’s not sure which would’ve been the better option, even now.

(Sometimes, it feels like his entire life has been a catenary chain of afters: after the serum, after Azzano, after the train. After the ice. After the people they’d once been and could never be again.

He wonders what this will be, after.)

“And to think, this only happened ’cause someone gave ya infinite money and orders to get out of her sight.”

“Or a team of lawyers and free reign to bully every single memorabilia collector into submission, more like.” Shinichi snorts. “If Miyano wants to keep me out of her lab, she ought to invest in better locks. Most of the Tower’s made careers out of spy work – hell, the Commandos invented stealth missions, for goodness sakes’.”

“Like you don’t just bash locks with your shield until they break, Cap,” Hattori says between snickers.

Shinichi kicks him in the shin. “Say what, birdman?”

“Better me than Hawkeye. And no kicking with supersoldier strength, ow!”

“Right, no kicking,” Shinichi says, and shoves him bodily off the bench.

Hattori falls onto the grass with a loud yelp. “Who’s on your left now, you – ”

“I thought you could fly, Falcon!” Shinichi hollers back.

(The box is a familiar weight in his pocket as they walk back together; Shinichi can still remember the hot-cold flash of shock when he’d seen it listed among the inventory of his possessions that’d survived the end of days only to end up in some private collection. “Did you know, I’d almost forgotten about it until Miyano’s mafia of lawyers made me that list?”

“No,” Hattori says with conviction, looking directly at him, “you didn’t.”

And Shinichi’s too tired to laugh, only swallows back a sigh and says, “no. No, I didn’t.”)

#detective conan #kudo shinichi #hattori heiji #marvel au #fanfiction #mine #i don't even remember what i was looking for in my drafts #???#who knows #WIP CLEARANCE 2K20

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