#(yes i am aware the time lords DID send the doctor. you know what i mean.)

[corallapis]

#novelization doesn't do justice to this scene tho. #his awkward lil cough. #'forged of course.' 'of course! but immaculate.' #& the way the master is content to leave the doctor alone as long as the doctor doesn't mess up his plans. #seriously need more of them just bumping into each other on a random planet. #(yes i am aware the time lords DID send the doctor. you know what i mean.) #doctor x master #dw

[shingekinohyrulewrites]

Soft & Tender is the Night

You meet Dr. Eren Jaeger when he comes to tend to your sick mother. Out of that chance encounter, a tender love emerges.

Read on AO3 here

WARNING : THERE BE SMUT AHEAD 18+

Your mother was sick.

It had been exactly four days since she had begun coughing, the sound echoing throughout the lavish halls of your home. At first, everyone had dismissed it, assuming it was merely dust in the air or the change in weather. On the second day, the cough sounded more drawn out, a slight wheeze at the end of each one. You had worried that entire night, the sound of her wheezing reaching your bedroom. On the third day, your mother had decided to stay in bed, hoping that lack of activity would help.

Now, on the fourth day, she was weak and exhausted, the coughing seeming to come from deep within her chest. Your father, worried, had sent for the local doctor, pacing nervously in the front room as he waited. Being the oldest daughter, you sat in the entry room watching him, back straight as a rod as your eyes followed your father. He kept nervously peering at the door, running his hands exasperatedly through his hair.

“What could possibly be taking this man so long? I don’t pay him good money to take his time to rush over here.”

“I’m sure he has a reason, Father,” you replied, giving him a small nod. “I am most certain he has other patients as well.”

He glared at you, causing you to shrink down slightly in his seat.

“As the richest family in this town, I would expect the good doctor to come running. If he is not here in the next minute I am going to send you to fetch him yourself.”

“Yes, Father.”

He resumed his pacing then, mumbling under his breath about prioritizing other people instead of your mother. You stood, brushing your dress down in preparation to leave when there was a series of swift knocks on the door.

Your father threw the door open, frowning at the man before him.

“Dr. Jaeger, I sent for you a while ago. Is there some reason why you are only arriving now?”

The doctor bowed, standing up and removing his lenses to wipe them.

“I sincerely apologize. There was a carriage accident on the way here and I gave aid to a few of the injured. If I’m not mistaken, it was Lord Reiss and his daughter, Lady Historia Reiss. My son knows her well so he insisted we assist her.”

He stepped aside then, revealing a man who was the younger spitting image of himself. Just like his father, he bowed his head, long, brown hair falling in front of his handsome face.

“My sincerest apologies. It is not in my heart to ignore those in need.”

Your father stepped back, surprise flickering across his face.

“Ah, Dr. Jaeger, I was not aware you had a son.”

The good doctor nodded, stepping aside to let his son enter before he did so himself.

“He is following in my footsteps and becoming a doctor as well. He has finished up at the local university and is now my apprentice.”

“Well, congratulations to him, Doctor . . .?”

The young man held out his hand, a gentle smile gracing his face.

“Eren. Dr. Eren Jaeger.”

Your eyes drank in his appearance, tan skin and all. His teal eyes were the sky above, shining on a beautiful summer day. His hair, a deep shade of chocolate so sweet and delicious. His lips, full, soft, and pink, reminiscent of a rose in bloom. His eyes flickered over to you then, curiosity alighting his eyes as he turned and gave a deep bow.

“My Lord, I sincerely apologize again. I was not aware you had a Lady here.”

Your father turned to you then.

“This is my oldest daughter. She was just about to fetch you, actually.”

You bowed, introducing yourself meekly. Eren reached for your hand, placing a gentle kiss on it as he looked deep into your eyes. Heat rushed to your cheeks, heart beating quickly as you quickly looked away.

“It’s a pleasure, my Lady.”

“Dr. Eren, I will have my daughter escort you to my wife. I want to discuss something quickly with your father.”

You sucked in a breath, bowing and replying with a quick “yes Father” before turning to the young man and gesturing for him to follow. Your mother’s room was at the opposite end of your home, which meant you had time to talk to the young doctor.

“Forgive me for asking, but how old are you?”

You looked at Eren from the corner of your eye.

“I . . . just turned 20.”

Eren smiled. “I am just shy of 26.”

“Did you want to pursue medicine like your father?”

The question caused him to sigh, long, tan fingers reaching up to tousle his hair.

“I did not have much of a choice. My older brother, Zeke . . . well, he up and left our family. I’m the only son left, so I needed to keep the family name going.”

He fidgeted with his fingers now.

“I wanted to travel the world. I wanted to see what it had to offer and just live off the Earth. But when Zeke left . . . that plan disappeared. I had no choice but to put aside my dreams and pursue a career in medicine.”

Your heart dropped in your chest upon hearing his words.

“I’m . . . so sorry to hear that.”

He waved his hand dismissively.

“No worries. I’ve accepted my fate. I’ve enjoyed it so far, so I cannot complain.”

The rest of the walk to your Mother’s room was silent, your footsteps echoing in the empty corridor. You quietly opened the door, letting him know your Father would join him soon. He thanked you, a soft smile gracing his face as he bade you a goodbye and shuffled to your Mother’s bedside.

The remainder of your day was spent in your room, knees pulled to your chest as you thought about pink roses and sweet chocolate.

                                                          ***

It was another three weeks before you saw Dr. Eren Jaeger again.

Your family had been invited to the Mayor’s Ball and you were in need of a new gown. Since the weather was fair, you decided to walk yourself to the town square, humming to yourself absently. As you passed the herb shop, a familiar figure emerged, a basket tucked neatly at his elbow. When he turned towards you, your heart stopped and you froze in your tracks.

Dr. Eren gave you a smile, lips slowly curving up as he gave you a polite bow. You returned it with a deep curtsy, a slight blush on your cheeks.

“Why, my Lady, what a pleasure. I hope your Mother is doing well.”

“She is, thank you. Her coughs have ceased and she is enjoying the daily fresh air and walks to the beach.”

He smiled softly again. “I’m glad to hear that.”

You two stood awkwardly for a second before he cleared his throat.

“Forgive me for intruding, but what are you doing in town?”

“My family was invited to the Mayor’s ball. I’m here to pick out a new gown.”

“If you don’t mind, I would love to accompany you as you walk.”

He offered his arm, peering down at you gently. You gladly took it, relishing in the feel of his warmth against you as you slowly strolled towards the dress shop. He talked about light topics: the weather, his father, a young patient he had recently seen, his childhood friends. By the time you stepped into the dress shop, you felt as if you had known him forever.

The woman behind the counter bowed, her eyes immediately falling on Eren. You ignored her, walking around to glance at the gowns displayed.

“Oh, Dr. Jaeger! It’s a pleasure to see you. I haven’t seen you in quite a while.”

“Hannah, hello. It is a pleasure indeed, I hope you’ve been well.”

They chatted for a while, Eren politely conversing with her while Hannah flirted obviously with him. A strange burning sensation filled your body, causing you to grit your teeth as you studied each dress. You had about given up when one last gown caught your attention. Hannah noticed and excused herself from Eren, bustling over to you.

“My Lady, has this gown caught your eye?”

Your fingers ran over the material.

“Yes, it has, actually. Would you be so kind as to assist me with putting it on?”

Eren shuffled his feet awkwardly.

“I best be going. I don’t want to, ah, invade your privacy.”

He walked over to you, taking your hand and kissing it just like the first time you met. Smiling, he turned and departed the store. You spent the remainder of the time in the dress shop imagining dancing with him in your gown.

                                                       ***

You saw Eren again a fortnight later at the Mayor’s Ball. You were being escorted by your Father, who was determined to find you a husband that night. Marriage had been the only thing on his mind recently, as he wanted to marry you off and have you settle down with someone rich. You tried to hide your anxiety at the thought of marriage as you entered the Mayor’s home, music playing in the distance from the ballroom. You curtseyed as sweetly as possible, giving him a soft smile as he greeted you and your Father.

“My Lord, my Lady, truly an honor to have you in my home. I hope you two have been well.”

The two exchanged pleasantries as they began to converse. You knew your Father had an eye on the mayor’s son, Jean, who was a little older than you. While Jean was indeed handsome, you weren’t a fan of his large ego and how every girl in your town threw themselves at him. You had heard whispers that many of those girls had ended up in his bed, and that Jean was always looking for his next lay. The Mayor called for him and Jean was immediately in front of you, a wide grin on his handsome face.

“My Lady, what a pleasure to see you.”

Before you could respond, the sound of a man clearing his throat behind you had you turning. Dr. Jaeger and Eren were standing there, both looking very put together and handsome. Both of them had swept their long hair, tying it neatly behind them. Dr. Jaeger had opted for a low ponytail while Eren’s hair was pulled into a low bun. They bowed, greeting each of you. Eren reached for your hand, eyes watching yours as he pressed a kiss against it. His eyes raked all over your figure as you curtseyed in response.

You had chosen an opulent red gown, gold accents tracing down the sleeves and on the bodice of it. The sleeves were adorned with white lace at the end, delicately clinging to your wrists. The gown pooled out beneath you, the red fanning out to create a gorgeous halo around you. The bodice was pulled tightly, your breasts pushed up to create the illusion of a full chest. You had wanted something modest but coy, letting the men know that you were “ready” for marriage but a decent woman by society’s standards.

While the other men began to speak again, Eren leaned forward and whispered to you.

“You look absolutely stunning. Excuse me for being so crude, but I wish to run my fingers along your figure.”

You shivered at his words, biting your lip as you looked away. His father bade you a goodbye, excusing himself as the Jaegers walked away. Turning to the Mayor, you gave him your best smile before speaking.

“I think it is due time that Father and I get settled in, isn’t that correct, Father?”

He nodded, craning his neck to look past you.

“I must agree, I see a few people I need to speak with.”

The two of you made your way deeper into the Mayor’s home, weaving in between the groups of people. The band was at the front, playing a merry tune as you settled at a table adjacent to the dance floor. Coyly looking around you, you spotted Eren across the room, his eyes fixed on you. A small smirk pulled at his lips as he gave you a slight nod before quickly turning away.

The banquet began not long after, the band easing into a slower, calmer song as everyone ate. Your Father talked business with the men at your table, joking about marrying you off and guffawing loudly at the mens’ reactions. Tuning them out, you focused instead on your meal, impatient for the meal to be over so you could begin dancing.

A young woman stepped to the stage, eyes low as she took her place in front of the band. The room fell silent as all eyes fell on her, waiting for her lips to open. The band began to pluck a song and her sweet voice echoed throughout the room. The Mayor stood, turning to his wife and bowing, silently asking her to dance. She complied, allowing him to lead her to the dance floor where they took their position. They lifted their hands, holding them up as they spun around each other. Their eyes never strayed, moving perfectly as they moved apart before coming back again.

The woman stepped back and the band played an opening note for a barriera dance. Your heart fluttered at the thought of possibly dancing with Eren. All hopes were dashed, however, when you saw Jean making a beeline for you. You quickly turned your head away, hoping and praying that he would be interrupted or asked by someone else. Your father turned his head, smiling widely.

“Ah, Dr. Eren, how may I help you?”

“My Lord, I would love the pleasure of dancing with your daughter, if I may have your permission.”

“Of course!” he clapped a hand on Eren’s shoulder. “Anything for the man who saved my wife.”

He turned to you then, outstretching his hand. You tried to hide your grin as you stood up, bowing to your father in thanks before making your way to the dance floor. The barriera began then, the two of you holding hands as you spun in a half circle. You stepped apart, eyes staying locked as you moved back. He gently grabbed your hand as you stepped forward. His fingers gently traced yours, his thumb reaching down to stroke the back of your hand. You bit your lip, trying to focus as you continued on with the steps before turning back around. When he held your hand again, he squeezed it this time, his thumb reaching down again to stroke you.

By the time the dance ended, you felt warm. Extremely warm. Sensing your discomfort, Eren escorted you back to your table and leaned down towards your Father.

“Forgive me, but I sense that your daughter needs some fresh air after this dance. Would you mind me escorting her out to the gardens?”

Your Father waved your hand dismissively, cheeks red from the alcohol he was consuming.

“Of course! Please! I trust you, Dr. Eren.”

With that, you two were departing for the garden. He pulled your hand as you ran down the stairs, leading you past the main path towards the large fountains and instead to a hidden corridor under the balcony. You could hear the chatter of the partygoers above.

“Eren, if someone sees us -”

He held up a finger to your lip.

“I assure you, no one will find us here. No one will hear us here, either.”

You blinked up at him.

“How do you know about this place?”

He leaned in, pressing your body against the wall.

“I take care of the Mayor’s family. They wanted me to take over to ensure I will take care of their family for as long as possible.”

His hand slowly reached up, cupping your jaw as he studied your face.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you since the moment I met you, my Lady.”

With those words, he pressed his lips against yours gently. They were softer than you imagined and just as plush. The hand cupping your jaw began to stroke you slowly, causing you to lean into his touch as he pulled away. His eyes seemed to be shining in the night, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

“You’re just as sweet, if not sweeter, than I imagined.”

                                                           ***

That was the beginning of your affair with Dr. Eren Jaeger. You had left the ball tingling all over, the feel of his lips on yours lasting for the rest of the night. He had promised to stop by and see you some time that week, and you told him you were looking forward to it. Your father had been oblivious to how happy you were and had attributed it to the dancing you had done.

Just like Eren had promised, he was on your doorstep that Monday morning. He was dressed sharper, hair pulled into a loose bun with a few strands loose framing his face. Your father was surprised to see him but pleased nonetheless.

“Good morning, my Lord. I am here to check on your wife and, if you would allow me, to escort your daughter out for the day.”

The surprise on your father’s face grew but he obliged. He deemed your mother much healthier than before and escorted you out. You spent the day walking the local park, walking continuous laps as you chatted about this and that. When he noticed you were a bit tired, he led you over to a more secluded part of the park. The trees grew close together, creating a lush overhang casting deep shadows of shade. The two of you sat close together, basking in the coolness as you tried to bring back the previous conversation. However, Eren was quickly distracted by the vast expanse of your neck and quickly latched his lips onto it.

You returned home a little after sunset, face flushed as you tried to hide the marks scattered about your neck and chest. Thankfully your father was in the den with a few friends, entertaining them, so you made a dash to your room. Eren’s lips had felt magical on your neck and you knew you wanted to feel them again very soon.

Eren didn’t call for two weeks after that. He dropped a note off at your home stating that he was away tending to a very ill patient and that he would try to see you when he returned. You were lethargic and impatient as you waited for him to come, trying to hide your sour mood from your parents. When the two weeks passed and he still hadn’t called, you began to give up and thought that maybe he had forgotten about you.

Your mind was changed, however, when he came calling a week later. He seemed flushed when you opened the door, cheeks red as he nervously avoided looking at you.

“I’m sure you must hate me,” he blurted out. “I’m so sorry. I’ve had so many patients to tend to.”

“I thought you had forgotten about me,” you confessed softly.

His eyes widened, furiously shaking his head as he gently placed a hand on your shoulder.

“I could never. A woman as beautiful as you is hard to forget.”

You blushed, looking away as he chuckled under his breath. He asked to take you out and you happily obliged.

                                                        ***

“Marriage? Eren, you cannot be serious?”

Two months had gone by and you were head over heels for Dr. Eren Jaeger. The two of you were currently sitting on a bench in the park, the sun beginning to set on the horizon. Small groups of people were walking about, taking in the cool air of the incoming night. He had turned to look at you suddenly, a light blush on his cheeks as he fidgeted with his fingers. You had stared at him, eyebrows raised as you questioned what the matter was.

“Yes. I want to marry you, my Lady.”

You blinked furiously, trying to process what he had just said.

“You . . . you mean it?”

“But of course. I know your father wants to marry you to a man with good standing and, well . . .”

He frowned, looking down at his lap.

“I do very well for myself, and I come from a long family of doctors, so our social and financial standing is beyond well. But . . .”

“But?”

He sighed.

“I don’t want your father to think that I’m only marrying you to climb up the social ladder.”

“Eren.”

He slowly lifted his head at your serious tone, eyes guarded but curious. You reached over to place a hand over his, squeezing it affectionately.

“My father adores you. If he didn’t, he would not allow you to come out and accompany me.”

“I suppose you are right,” he sighed again.

He stood up then, wiping his pants before extending his hand out to yours.

“Shall we go ask him for permission?”

                                                      ***

Your father had been elated with the news. Just like you had told Eren, your father absolutely adored him and had quickly given the both of you his blessings. He was quick to spread the news about town, sending servants to the homes of the other Lords in town to let them know. By the end of the evening, many people had come to congratulate you, sending you nothing but good wishes. The two of you had happily accepted them, excited to be building a new future together.

The Mayor and his son, Jean, were the last ones to come calling. Eren was about to leave for the night, promising to come by tomorrow to discuss wedding plans with your family when a series of loud knocks rang on the door. The Mayor was standing there, a tense smile on his face as Jean scowled behind him.

“I have heard the news. Congratulations.”

His tone was sardonic, cold, hardened. He pushed you aside, walking up to your father slowly.

“My Lord, congratulations to you. I am sure you are happy to have your daughter finally married off.”

“Thank you Mayor, I appreciate that.”

“You know, I had been under the impression that your daughter would be marrying my son Jean. At least, it appeared that way at our ball.”

Your father stiffened, standing up taller as he hardened his expression.

“Let us move to the sitting room. Come.”

The two men departed, leaving you alone with Eren and Jean. The tension in the room was obvious, with the two men standing deliberately apart. Jean was looking at your fiance with an angry look, handsome features turned up into a scowl.

“Jaeger. Congratulations on your engagement. Of course, it’s supposed to be my engagement we are celebrating, but . . . I suppose . . .”

Eren stepped forward protectively, body coming to stand in front of you.

“Mr. Kirstein, please. Let’s not cause a scene in the Lord’s home.”

“Mr. Kirstein. Drop the formalities, Jaeger. What, did you come into my home, listen to my conversations and decide to steal the Lady from me?”

“Jean -” you tried but he put up a hand to stop you.

“You come into my home to treat me and this is what I get in return?”

“Oh please, Jean, the reason I come into your home is to treat the various venereal diseases you get from sleeping with every woman you come across.”

You froze, surprised at hearing the venom in Eren’s voice. He took another subtle step forward to shield you further from Jean.

“A man like you will never deserve a woman like my Lady. No matter how much money you pay and how much power you have, she will never be yours.”

Jean seemed to have turned to stone, face impassive as he merely stared at Eren. His father emerged from the sitting room, face just as pale as Jean’s. He didn’t bother to look in your direction as he mumbled for Jean to follow him out. Your father emerged then, looking quite pleased with himself.

“Well, that conversation went quite well. Dr. Jaeger, I am so sorry that you had to be here for that. Please, let me give you a carriage home.”

                                                         ***

The following weekend, your parents were going out of town to meet with old friends and family to invite them to the wedding. You were left alone, expected to continue planning the wedding and attending fittings for your dress. They left early Friday morning, the sun not yet risen as they left town. You awoke in the late morning, relishing in the warm sunlight and quiet of the home. You ate breakfast in your backyard, smiling at the sound of the birds singing and the fresh breeze flowing through. Your afternoon was spent in town, trying on a wedding dress and gossiping with the tailor. Dinner was once again in the backyard, the moon serving as your source of light.

Candle in hand, you made your way around your home to ensure that all of your windows and doors were locked. You were walking back to your room when someone knocked on the front door.

“Love? It’s Eren. Are you home?”

You opened the door to reveal Eren. He took in your appearance and raised an eyebrow.

“Is . . . everything okay?”

You let him in, making sure no one saw him slip in. He seemed to have come from seeing a patient, dress shirt still tucked into his neat slacks as he peered down at you. Smiling, he lifted his hands and cupped your cheeks before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“I hear your parents left you all alone. I came to check on you on my way home.”

You gave him a soft smile. 

“That was very sweet of you, love.”

The way his eyes glazed over your figure, clad in only a thin nightgown, did not go unnoticed by you. Shuffling his feet, he took the candle from your hand and cleared his throat.

“Well, we best be off to bed then.”

“B-bed?” you stammered out.

Being a proper young lady, you had been told to never share your bed with a man until you were married. Anything before was considered shameful and would lead to becoming a tainted woman. However, your desire for Eren and attraction to him had you tossing all morals out the window. The thought of sharing a bed with him sent shivers down your spine, but you fought the fear and pushed it down.

“But of course. The hour is late and you need your rest.”

Nodding, you began leading the way to your bedroom. The two of you stepped in and Eren took the time to examine it, making sure to draw the curtains tight before setting the candle down on the nightstand.

“I’m going to borrow some sleeping clothes from your father. I will return.”

Biting your lip, you decided to slip into bed and pulled the covers tight against your chest. Eren returned shortly after, a white sleeping shirt in his hands.

“I will accompany you, my love. Let me change.”

Heat rushed to your cheeks as he stepped out of his shoes and began unbuttoning his pants. You let your eyes study the muscles of his long legs, the tanned color of his skin glowing in the faint candlelight. As he reached up to begin unbuttoning his shirt, you allowed yourself to get lost in his long fingers, memorizing the way he plucked at each button. The shirt slipped off his shoulders, revealing toned shoulders and a muscled chest. Your mouth went dry as your eyes dipped lower, reveling in his abs and . . .

You swallowed thickly.

Eren pulled the shirt on and slowly made his way over to your bed. He slid in and awkwardly laid himself beside you.

“Hi,” he whispered.

“Hi.”

You sunk lower into the pillows, trying to make yourself comfortable as you tried to forget that your fiance was lying in bed next to you. The candle flickered, sending soft glows across his face. His eyelashes fluttered across his cheeks as he blinked, cerulean eyes watching you intently.

“You are so beautiful.”

And with that, he kissed you. Eren had kissed you before, dozens of times actually, but this time felt new. There was a hidden urgency behind it, a desperateness that you were trying to piece together. One hand came up to tangle in your hair, the other resting at the back of your neck. His lips parted, exhaling a shaky breath as he tried to regain his composure.

“Love, I don’t think I’ll be able to hold myself back,” he admitted with a broken voice.

Your heart stopped. The thoughts of being a proper woman, of pleasing her husband and staying pure until your wedding day, rang in your head once again. But your love for him ran stronger, and you knew he would still love you regardless.

“Then don’t stop,” you replied breathlessly.

Eren kissed you again, tongue sneaking out to swipe at your bottom lip. You smiled into the kiss, opening your mouth to let him fully taste you. The hand tangled in your hair tightened, pulling slightly to leave your roots tingling. His other hand began to angle your head so you could deepen the kiss.

When you pulled apart to breathe, his tanned cheeks were flushed, eyes half closed with lust. Silently, he pushed your shoulder to prod you to lay completely on your back.

“I want to see your body, fully, wholly, love. Will you let me?”

You gave a shy nod. Smiling, Eren shuffled himself so he was kneeling in front of you. With a shaking hand, he slowly began to lift your nightgown, letting it pool above your chest.

“Beautiful,” he whispered.

He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on your belly. Smiling, he peered up at you before leaving a trail of kisses upwards towards your chest. He seemed to hesitate before sucking in a breath and pulling a nipple into your mouth. The other hand immediately reached for the other and tugged on it.

You couldn’t help the moan you let out. Embarrassed, you covered your mouth with a hand.

“I want to hear you, love. I want to make sure I’m making you feel good.”

With that, he bit down a little harder. Sparks flew up your spine as pleasure began to course through you. The feeling was unfamiliar but felt so good. He continued his ministrations before releasing your nipple and beginning to kiss down. Your back arched as he got lower before he stopped and pressed a kiss against your inner thigh.

“I want to taste you. I want to memorize how you taste and keep it in my memory for the rest of my life.”

You didn’t have time to respond before he dove into your core, allowing himself to get lost in your folds. This time, you didn’t hold back from moaning loudly. You felt his tongue deep inside of you, one finger reaching up to rub your clit. The pleasure this time was intense and you continued to moan, one hand reaching out to grab onto his dark locks. He seemed to get spurred on by the sensation, tongue trying to go deeper as he began rubbing faster.

“E-Eren,” you choked out, back arching again as you embraced the arousal running through you.

He paused, pulling back to peer up at you. Your legs shook as you could see your fluids glistening on his chin in the soft candlelight. Falling back onto your pillow, you gestured for him to continue.

Eren did so happily, taking his time to savor you. His tongue felt wondrous inside of you, rubbing against your walls and making you feel slightly stuffed. The finger rubbing your clit matched the rhythm of his tongue, and it wasn’t long before you were having the first orgasm of your life. It started at your toes before moving up, tickling your spine and erupting in your core. The moan you let out was shameful, but you didn’t care if it meant you could continue to feel this good.

Eren pulled back, smiling softly at you as he wiped his chin on the back of his hand. Reaching behind him, he yanked off his shirt and awkwardly pulled off his undergarments. Your eyes went wide as he took in his . . . appendage.

The girls in your village had often talked about their encounters shamelessly, comparing their lovers’ sizes and talking about the ecstasy they felt. You knew that the first time would hurt, but now, seeing Eren, you knew you were in for some pain.

“I’ll take it slow, my love. I need you to relax for me.”

He positioned himself in front of you again, leaning forward as he aligned himself to your core. You felt yourself tightening up with nervousness. Sensing your apprehension, he leaned down and kissed you gently.

“Sh, it’s okay. Just relax. I’m here with you.”

With that, you allowed your body to loosen up. He continued on, sucking in a breath before slowly pushing himself into you. The first thing you felt was pain. You had never been stretched out this way and it hurt. Clutching at the bed sheets tightly, you screwed your eyes shut as you tried to push through it.

“S-sorry,” Eren gasped out. “I’ll s-stop. You just feel so g-good love.”

He stopped, panting out as he felt how tight you were around him. The urge to just buck his hips against yours harshly was strong, but the pain was evident on your face. Your soft features were pinched up, knuckles white as you grabbed the sheets.

“K-keep going,” you urged.

Eren complied, pushing in a little more. The pain became stronger before it began to subside and was replaced by pleasure. You lifted your hips slightly, relishing in the feeling of him inside of you. Noticing your reaction, he continued to push until he was completely in you.

A moment of stillness befell you before he warned you he was going to thrust. Pulling back, he snapped his hips against yours, causing a yelp to tumble out of your mouth. Grinning, he repeated the action, making sure to start off with a slow pace. He gauged your face, watching as your frown slowly smoothed out and pure bliss overtook your features. He began to pick up the pace, the bed beginning to creak and slam against the wall as he began to thrust faster. By this point, you were moaning loudly and shamelessly, so lost in the feeling that you just wanted more.

“I-I don’t think I’m going to last much longer,” Eren admitted, sweat beginning to form across his forehead.

A second orgasm was beginning to build, the familiar tingle forming in your core and slowly spreading to your abdomen. It took a sudden sharp thrust to release it, and you came around him, moaning his name as you rode through it. The feeling of you tightening against him was what ended him, and he spilled himself into you as he groaned out your name.

He collapsed against you, sticky with sweat as he tried to regain his breath. You wrapped your arms around him, nuzzling against his neck as you breathed in his musky scent. The two of you stayed like that, still joined together as your breaths slowed down and returned to normal. Eren pushed himself up, pulling himself out of you before flopping down next to you.

“That was glorious,” he whispered into the darkness.

Giggling, you pulled the covers up over the both of you. You curled into his side, a strong arm coming up to wrap around you.

“I love you. I cannot wait to be yours eternally.”

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin imagine #attack on titan imagine #eren jaeger #eren yaeger #eren yaeger imagine #eren jaeger x reader #renaissance au #doctor patient relationship #slow build #slow romance #eventual smut

[silkling]

Hello Silkling, Could you make a (TFP) Starscream and Knock Out meets (ROTF) Flatline? Because i like two medics

Certainly! Sorry this one is so short, I’m afraid I’m more unfamiliar with Flatline’s character since I didn’t read the comics he was in, and most of what I learned was off the wiki. I do hope I did him justice, though!

———————————————————————————————————

Suffice to say, when Knock Out came out of recharge that morning he was not expecting to meet another Decepticon medic. Let alone a Decepticon medic with extra limbs and a mouth that looked uncomfortably similar to mandibles. Yet, to his great disbelief, it was as he was cleaning his tools and taking inventory, Starscream perched on his medical berth and ranting about his all the ways in which he believed Megatron to be a fool, that the doors to his medbay opened and Lord Megatron himself stepped in. He was followed by a large, bulky mech that neither Knock Out nor Starscream recognized. The aforementioned Insecticon-lookalike of a medic.

“Knock Out.” the warlord greeted. His optics found Starscream, narrowing in displeasure. “Starscream.” he added, voice dark. “Allow me to introduce Flatline. He is a Deception medic, much like yourself, my dear doctor.” he hummed in the red mech’s direction. “He himself will explain his story. I don’t have the time.” he made a gesture, turning on heel to leave. “Starscream, see to it that your presence here does not mean you neglect your duties.” he said coldly, striding past Flatline.

The door slid shut behind him, leaving the three mechs alone together.

Knock Out scoffed. “Your paint job is horrid, you know.” he said with faux sweetness.

Starscream looked surprised at the blunt insult, then smirked and slid off the medical berth, propping an arm on the red medic’s shoulder. “Indeed.” he agreed in a mocking rasp. “I also can’t help but notice you look rather like someone tried to create an Insecticon and stopped halfway.”

Flatline growled at them both, optics flaring with his rage. “You are Starscream?” He sneered. “Rather unimpressive. The Starscream is my would is far more fearsome than some pathetic twig such as yourself.”

That gave the two others pause. “Your world?” Knock Out asked, mildly interested.

Flatline huffed. “I am not of this Dimension. In my world, the Decepticon forces on Earth are far less organized.” he scowled. “My world also had no “Knock Out”. Perhaps my version of you was too weak to survive the War.” His mandibles clicked. “I wonder what that says about you.”

Knock Out blinked, then narrowed his eyes. “I would say the same, Flatline. There is no mech with your designation in this plane of reality.”

Starscream looked highly entertained by the growing hostility. “How did you get to our world, then?”

Flatline hummed. “I was fleeing a group of Autobots when I encountered a wormhole.” he scowled. “I suspect the fact that my ship carried unknown Cybertronian artifacts, combined with the wormhole, stranded me here.”

Starscream smirked, amused. “What Autobots we’re chasing you then? Perhaps their counterparts live here and you can take your revenge.”

Flatline crossed his arms, all four of them. “Arcee, Chromia, and Elita-One.”

Knock Out whistled. “What did you do to get three femmes that mad at you, dear doctor?”

The mech hesitated, then snarled. “Under orders of Commander Thundercracker, I performed experiments to split one spark into multiple frames in hopes of creating a new type of elite warrior for the Decepticon cause.”

Starscream hummed as he turned that statement over in his mind, and then he smirked savagely. “I see.” he seemed giddy. “They were your experiments and you failed to have a way to control them. What a blunder, dear doctor!”

Kmock Out chuckled. “My my, does Lord Megatron know? I cannot see him trusting you with any task of importance if he knew how large a failure you made.” he mocked.

Flatline hissed. “I offered my services to create him elite warriors here, in this world. He seemed content with that, medic.”

Starscream snorted. “I’m afraid you won’t have much luck. The most expendable mechs here are Vehicon drones, and you can’t do much with them.”

The other medic simply clicked his mandibles. “No need to fear.” he scoffed. “I am more capable than that.” he hummed, looking over the pair in front of him. “You are very..,pointy, Knock Out. No one else on this ship is. It’s rather odd, I find.”

Knock Out scoffed, pushing Starscream away from himself and walking towards his tools. He had to take inventory. “I’m Velocitronian. I would expect to look different from those on this ship. They were all forged on Cybertron, after all.”

The medic froze, his mandibles clicking in excitement. “Velocitronian, you say? I have never had the chance to work with a mech from that colony. Perhaps you’d like to do the honor of being the first?” he asked, sickeningly sweet.

Knock Out lifted a hand, and without looking at the medic, transformed his servo into his saw, the blade buzzing to life aggressively. “I wouldn’t try it, Flatline.” he hummed. “I’m not quite that docile.”

Starscream hummed. “Yes, and experiments would absolutely ruin your finish, would they not?” he smirked, then wriggled his fingers. “As delightful as this has been, I must take my leave. I do have real duties to attend to, after all.” With that, he left, the door closing behind him and shutting the two medics together in the med bay.

For a while, neither of them made a sound. Knock Out transformed his servo back into a hand, then returned to the work he had been doing before. Flatline took the opportunity to explore, poking over the surfaces visible to him and taking in the available tools. As he made his explorations, he continued to edge closer and closer to the Aston Martin. Finally, when he was almost beside the red mech, he lashed out to attack.

Knock Out merely sidestepped, slipped his prod from his subspace, turned it up to one of its highest settings, and jabbed it harshly into Flatline’s neck cabling. The bug-like medic screeched, his frame locking and convulsing, and after a moment Knock Out removed the prod. Flatline dropped to the floor, limbs twitching as he gurgled.

The last thing he was aware of before his consciousness was stolen was Knock Out speaking to him in a dark, vicious tone.

“And that, dear doctor, why I advise you to stay far away from me. Unlike the soft little Autobots, I have no qualms about making your death a slow, painful, drawn out experience. Remember: I’m a medic. I know exactly what to do to your frame to make your life agony.”

———————————————————————————————————

And there is is! I’m not fully satisfied with this one, but I didn’t have many ideas for interaction between them other than “everyone is gonna be an unrepentant bastard”. I know this isn’t as long as some of my other ask box fics, but I hope you liked it regardless!

As for now, my box is open for anyone else who wants to send in a prompt! Check my pinned post for information, but I do accept most types of fic prompts. Until next time, friends!

#silkling request fics #request fic #tfp knock out #tfp Starscream #knock out #Starscream #flatline #ROTF flatline #tfp #transformers prime #ROTF #tranformers crossover #continuity crossover #Starscream and knock out are both such bastards #flatline is also such a bastard #it is not a good mix #they’re going to end up killing each other #especially knock out and flatline #maccadam

[mosshead-lover]

The Act of LordE: Part-7

Rehabilitation

~ Bakugou & Izuku x Reader

Summary: [y/n] moves to her dream city having abundant hopes. Her encounter with Katsuki Bakugou, sends unsettling ripples through her life. Determined to earn an apology for her boyfriend, Izuku Midoriya, she gets into a game with Katsuki. Will the game remain a simple game even at the stake of her love life?

<<Previous

A/n: You will enjoy this better if you have read the previous parts before! ^^

Part-1 | Part-2 | Part-3 | Part-4 | Part-5 | Part-6 |

--Start--

A promising hero student losing his quirk was all over the news. The government had assured the nation of wiping out any sign of the evil product, down to the villains behind it. But this event made the public question the efficiency of the heroes and the government. The incident ignited by a local gang of thieves had created quite a stir.

Anyone who knew [y/n] could tell. She was the most disturbed, and a pang of uncertain guilt always clouded her face. [y/n] felt the most pathetic at work. It killed her to work in the absence of a man who, at the expense of something more important than his life, had saved her. The blame she held on herself became a hundred times heavier every second at the agency. She would feel a heavy lump in her throat, making it hard to breathe, as if the world was telling her she didn't deserve the air. She would end up fainting or break down. The agency had extended her internship by another month. So she can rest and recover well from the incident. She missed being busy, but she knew the agency was right.

”You cannot go on like this!” Izuku expressed his concerns on the way back from picking her up from the agency. She had been staying over at Izuku's since that day. He insisted that she did.

A week later...

The sun was already set, and the street lights illuminated the way. Izuku walked home faster than usual.

'[y/n] has to hear this now!'

he thought. He had to see her in flesh and blood. He had to see her shed the worries. He had to embrace her and tell her everything was going to be okay, indeed.

[y/n] was woken up by the sound of door unlatched. She sat up to welcome Izuku.

"Hey there, sleepyhead." Deku greeted in his usual warm tone.

"Hi, Izuu." [y/n] greeted him back, bringing her palm close to her mouth, yawning.

"Guess who visited UA University today?" Deku's eyes were dilated to adjust the dim room and, the street light reflecting off his green pupils made them shine like precious gems.

"Who?" [y/n] questioned him back as the ritual went, clearly uninterested.

"Aizawa-sensei!" His eyes went wide.

"Oh! your home-coming teacher?" [y/n] was more attentive now. She stood up, reaching the switchboard to turn on the lights.

"Yes! and Eri-chan too!"

[y/n] knew Eri. Deku had told her everything. She hadn't slept the day Deku told her Eri's story. She felt sad for the horrible things that little girl had to go through. She had even visited Eri once. [y/n] felt better looking at Eri doing well. She had been preparing for UA high entrance exams, determined to follow her beloved Nii-san's(Izuku's) footsteps.

"Hope she is doing well." [y/n] was smiling involuntarily at the mention of Eri.

Deku went on without feeling the need to assure [y/n] about Eri' well being.

"The reason they were there is.." Izuku tried to give a dramatic pause which miserably failed.

".. to discuss Kachan's revival!" He almost squeaked.

Eri's quirk let her transform anything she touched into its former form. A dangerous yet powerful quirk if learnt to control. But, it was never used as Eri was yet to learn how to control her power. Besides, Aizawa and other pros were against burdening her with such huge responsibilities. She was just a kid, after all. But, this time, Eri had volunteered. She had grown beyond feeling her quirk was a curse that took her parents and everything else from her. She knew her true power lay in returning something that was taken away. Surely, she couldn't revive what was taken away from her but, if she could do it for others, she wasn't going to sit back and watch. After testing her in and out, Aizawa had decided that she might be able to succeed.

"Eri's quirk!" [y/n] exclaimed. She slumped in to the sofa and let out a huge sigh. Knowing that there was a possibility that Katsuki could get his power back changed the world for her.

Izuku and [y/n] were in bed. They had had a cheerful dinner. Izuku must have mentioned at least a dozen times how happy he was to see [y/n] smile again.

"Will you visit Kachan at least now?" Deku casually questioned, staring at the ceiling.

[y/n] remained silent. Deku grunted as he shifted to face [y/n].

"[y/n]-chan" Deku then patiently waited for an answer.

"I will go tomorrow." [y/n] finally responded, her response almost inaudible.

Katsuki hated having visitors. He hated them trying to sympathise, trying to give him false hopes and the way they looked at him as though he was a helpless pup. He hated it the most. When he tried the hardest not to think about the future, all their visits did was remind him that. Luckily the glass chunks hadn't pierced deeper than a few muscle layers. He had argued with the doctor to let him go home soon. The doctor had patiently explained that he had to be kept under observation for at least a week, for he had been struck with way too many quirk erasers.

Katsuki was sleepy and tired all the time. By the time [y/n] visited him, he was a lot better. He could read a JUMP and even walk around the room before his eyelids felt heavy again. When [y/n] entered the room, Katsuki didn't recognise her anymore. The face otherwise filled with resentment and disgust was filled with gratitude and kindness with a hint of guilt. Katsuki wasn't sure how he felt about this transformation. [y/n] forced a smile as she nervously walked to his bed. She had begged Izuku to go along. He had refused to, saying she had to do it herself.

”Besides, Kachan will only be ruder to you with me around, ” he had joked. Little did he know that Kachan was hardest on her when alone. Kachan was more confused than ever. Unsure of how to react, he reached for the water glass set next to his bed. He gulped down the water hurriedly, ending up coughing and spilling it all over him. His body wasn't recovered enough to keep up with his speed. He should have known. [y/n] quickly took her handkerchief out and started dabbing the dampness as she took away the glass from him. She didn't look up until she felt his grip on her wrist. It was weak physically yet, she froze.

"I...I.."

"Don't you dare," He hissed. [y/n] was confused.

"I was just..."

"Shhhhh.." He stopped her midway and pulled her closer. Her face inches away from his.

"Can you not.." He muttered, searching for words, looking away.

"I am sorry" [y/n] didn't know why she was apologising. For dabbing his chest without permission? For his quirk?

Katskuki submerged in the way the air hushed out from her mouth tingled his skin, neglecting her words entirely.

"Bakugou! How are you feeling today?" The overly enthusiastic doctor entered the room.

[y/n] and Katsuki quickly parted. Katsuki let out a sigh, half thankful for the intervene.

"I am okay." He didn't quite return the doctor's energy.

"You can leave." He muttered, looking at [y/n] from the corner of his eye.

"The madame can stay. I will hardly take a minute. " The doctor beamed as he plugged the stethoscope to his ears, clearly aware of his intrusion and bad-timing.

"Um, I will come by later, I guess. Bye." [y/n] almost ran out of there.

She let her head sink in her palms. She hadn't done a single thing she had rehearsed. Thank him, ask him how he was, apologise and mostly, mostly to start fresh.

Next>>

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#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #boku no hero fanfic #bakugou katsuki #bakugou fluff #bakugou x you #bakugou x y/n #kachan #mha katsuki #bnha katsuki #izuku x y/n #izuku x reader #izuku x you #midoriya x reader #midoriya x you #katsuki x y/n #katsuki x you #katsuki x reader #mha x y/n #mha x reader #dekusquad #bnha bakusquad #bakugou smut #bakusquad #midoriya izuku #midoriya izuku x you #bakugou katuski x reader #boku no hero x y/n #boku no hero x you #my hero academy fanfiction

[loudsuitlover]

Doctor Harry XXVI. Cuando no me ves

DISCLAIMER: Mentions of eating disorder! Please be aware if this is a trigger for you, think whether you should read this and take care! 

Also, remember our bodies are just our way of getting places, take care of them so they can get you far, but don’t mistake them with a shop window. Remember that what makes you beautiful is invisible to the eye!

A/N: On a different note, I LOVED writing this chapter and I love it and I hope you enjoy it too x

HARRY’S POV

Blue is sleeping next to me. Her chest goes up and down under the thick sweater she’s wearing. I move her hair away from her face and the smile appears on its own. That’s how easy it is for her.

Sinking my head back on the pillow, I tilt my neck so I can stare at her. I suppose watching someone sleep is as creepy as it gets but I woke up one hour and a half ago now and she’s still breathing softly, peacefully asleep next to me and that makes me feel like such a lucky bastard.

She must be crazy in some way because she really is out of my league and still here she is, lying next to me and letting me touch her and kiss her. I think she’s got the prettiest face I’ve ever seen, even when she’s asleep.

I remember the way she felt on New Year’s, when she thought I wasn’t attracted to her just because she had put on some weight. The idea still makes me mad. She’s just perfect. I mean her body is, she’s got some issues and Lord knows she can get into my skin and drive me crazy sometimes but hey we all do. But her body… I just simply don’t understand.

Well, I guess I do. I live in the same society she does and I know they worship the gap between the thighs and the collarbones showing like there’s just skin and bones in there and I’m not saying I don’t like that. I’ve been with very slender girls but the way my t-shirts look on Blue… How they hug her ass and the top of her thighs and how soft she is… I don’t understand how she can not love that about her. And her breasts, that fill my hands when I cup them and get perky when I kiss them…

I love every part of this woman’s body but I’ve noticed that the reason she got so drunk last night- to the point where she passed out on my shoulder- was not so much on how much she drunk but on the fact that she had barely eaten anything at dinner.

I’ve been thinking about it now and she’s also been rejecting snacks at my place. I have never paid much attention to what she ate or didn’t but ever since she said that I’ve been more observant and I hope she knows she doesn’t need to fit in any jeans for me to want her.

I want her for the way she sounds and for the way her nails sink on my back and for the way she smells and for the way I feel like I disappear when I’m inside her. Granted, I think her body is amazing and she’s fucking hot, but it’s precisely that flesh she seems not to like the one that drives me crazy because she’s just lucky genetics gave her this crazy body with this fucking sexy curves but I’d like her even if she didn’t have them.

She hums and her arm hugs the pillow closer to her face but I’m gonna be the selfish bastard I am and I’m going to wake her up. I heard Adam’s voice on the kitchen a while ago and Jason’s door opened and shut about fifteen minutes ago too so it’s time for the Sleeping Beauty to wake up.

I rest my weight on my hands and press my lips against her exposed temple and cheek and the corner of her mouth. She moans.

“Come on” I whisper on her ear before I press a chaste kiss on her neck “wake up, baby, last night you left me wanting you…”

She smiles but doesn’t open her eyes yet and I chuckle against her skin before I start pressing kisses from her ear to the corner of her lips. She’s sleeping on her belly so I’m hovering over her back as I kiss her skin. She tilts her neck so her lips press against mine when I reach her mouth and I laugh against her lips but kiss her back. I part her lips with my tongue and push inside her mouth and she moans and takes it.

I remember how shy she was when she wouldn’t let me kiss her in the morning the first time she slept over and I smile against her mouth. I’m about to joke and tell her that her mouth tastes like a dead rat but decide against it because my silly girl might take it to heart. She licks my lips like a kitten before turning her head and getting more comfortable on the bed.

I am left smiling to myself and admiring the sexy woman underneath me. I cup one of her breasts and gently squeeze it in my hand and she lets out a soft moan. I can see her smiling under the layer of hair that’s covering the new side of her face she’s now showing.

“Do you want me to wake you up?” I whisper on her ear.

She moans but I want to hear her say it.

“Tell me.”

I press my hard length against her ass through the thick fabric of her pyjama pants and my own sweatpants and she gasps.

“Yes.”

I nibble on her neck and I let the way she smells overtake my senses. It clouds my mind and I can’t think of anything else. I probably should think about how to tell her about the wedding but those thoughts are flying out the window when my hands find her skin underneath her sweater.

I suck and lick her neck before soothing her skin with kisses and I revel in the way her breathing becomes laboured and wet as she tilts her neck to give me better access. My hips start instinctively grinding against her ass so I can relieve some of the tension with the friction between us and she bites her bottom lip.

Her soft, perfect belly guides my way until my fingers snake underneath the hem of her pants and I press my fingers against her knickers, searching for her clit and pressing slow but firm circles against it. She moans deliciously and I think I could cum in my pants.

“Fucking hell, Blue.” I whisper on her ear.

I know she loves it when I talk dirty to her. My sweet, shy girl turns into the devil in bed and only I get to know that. I have to control myself because I go crazy with the options. I want to posses her, in a way that makes me worried, because I want to touch her until she’s screaming my name but I also want to turn her around and get my mouth on her and lick and suck her until she pulls so hard from my hair that my scalp hurts for the rest of the day. I want to get inside her too and to pin her against the mattress and have her scratching my skin.

I slip my fingers underneath the hem of her underwear and find her wetness easily. I smile. I’m a fucking narcissist when it comes to her, but knowing this juice is all for me could send me to heaven.

“You’re fucking soaked, baby.” I chuckle.

She half giggles half gasps and I swear the blood leaves my brain.

“You’re very good at waking women up.” She whispers.

“I only wake you up.” I kiss her neck. “Because I only sleep with you.”

I see her smile but realize she hasn’t yet opened her eyes or if she has, I haven’t seen her. I carefully watch her as I slip two fingers inside her and she frowns and moans. I thrust my fingers in and out of her and she gasps labouredly against her pillow.

This position and what I’m doing to her is turning me on until the back of my neck but I need to get inside her so I slip my fingers out of her wet hole and flip her around so that her back hits the mattress. Her eyes are opened and set on mine.

“You look woken up enough to me…” I smile at her.

She smiles dreamily and I lean down to capture her lips with mine. I kiss her hungrily and my belly flips and my pulse accelerates.

“You barely kissed me last night…” She complains against my lips.

“I did kiss you.”

She pouts showing me her bottom lip and I catch it between my teeth before I pull from it and then press my lips against hers again.

“You woke up affectionate today…” I notice. “I like it.”

Her lips leave my mouth and press chaste kisses on the skin of my neck but there’s nothing chaste about the way her soft hand goes down my chest until she slips it under the hem of my sweatpants.

“I woke up to you touching me” She corrects me “I’m horny as hell.”

I chuckle until my laughter is cut short by the moan she pulls from me as her hand gently squeezes the base of my dick before her wrist starts flipping and pumping me. I gape like a fish out of water and try to hold my weight on my arms so I don’t crush her.

Her hand freezes when we hear Mario’s voice on the corridor calling for breakfast but I press my lips on her cheek.

“Ignore him. You do you.”

She laughs but keeps pleasuring me and I grunt on top of her. It feels so good, her hand around me, to be able to see her so close while she’s at it… But she needs to stop. I hold her wrist and she frowns confused. I smile.

“I’m going to explode.” I explain and she giggles.

She takes off her pants and mine and my hand searches for my dick so I can align it with her wet sex. I slip just the tip in and watch her frown until I push inside her all the way and she moans and sinks her head on the pillow. I thrust inside her a few times and she pulls me in closer with her legs and her arms.

“Baby” I beg “get on top.”

Her eyes bore into mine and I cup her cheek. I feel like my heart is going to explode.

“If you want” I remind her “I want you on top, please.”

She bites her bottom lip. We were past this. She was a lot more comfortable naked with me, I won’t have her going back there yet I don’t have to insist because her hands push from my chest as she rolls us over and she adjusts her position on my hips.

I smile at her before I grab the hem of her sweater and pull it over her head. I grab her forearms and feel the goosebumps on her skin as she sinks her body on me and I fill her. I have never desired someone so much, so often.

My hands caress her soft skin from her hips to the lower part of her back and I pull her to me until I can kiss the skin on her bare breasts and get her perky upright nipples on my mouth.

She grinds her hips against mine in a circular motion that has me grunting against her skin. Fucking hell, she’s so much better at this than she was the first time we did this. From the corner of my eye I can see the way her waist moves on my hand and I decide I need to see this so I press a final kiss on her neck and lean back so I can watch her.

She’s riding me like a horsewoman and the way her bare body moves, like she had a wave inside her, is making me doubt whether I’m actually awake. I grab her flesh, her generous hips, her waist, her breasts and she moans out loud.

“You’re so fucking perfect, Blue.” I moan. “Sexiest thing I’ve seen…”

Her hands press on my chest as she uses me for counterbalance as she lifts her hips and sinks them back in. I am a sucker for this slow rhythm with her because I can see her body and I can feel every inch of her tight walls and the way they clench and press around me. Fuck…

“Fuck, Harry…”

“Tell me how it feels, love.”

“Oh… Okay…” She gasps. “Oh, Harry…”

“Fuck.”

She giggles and I have to hold myself back from pinning her against the mattress and ruin her.

“I haven’t even told you and you’re already cursing.”

I chuckle too. True.

“Go on.”

I straighten a hand against her thigh and feel the goosebumps on her skin there too. She’s quiet so I look up until our eyes meet and realize she was waiting for me to look into her big hazel eyes. My heart stops.

“We would be friends.”

Everything after that feels hazy. I press her against the mattress and rest one hand against the headboard as I thrust inside her hard and fast. She moans loudly and I grunt on the crook of her neck.

We would be friends. Of course, we would be friends.

Maybe she feels it too.

BLUE’S POV

I bump into Jason at the corridor on my way to the kitchen and he grabs my elbow and stops me so he can whisper on my ear.

“If Marie had any neighbours, they would have called the police and that’s all I’m saying.”

I blush deeply. Harry just walks out of the room, all dressed and ready with jeans and a lilac woollen sweater and I wonder whether it’s okay for someone to look so good all the damn time.

The girls are out sitting on the couches on the porch because Ollie’s smoking and from the kitchen I can hear Mario and Adam chatting and laughing. Harry rests his hand on the lower of my back and motions that he’s going to the kitchen and I assume the boys are making breakfast today. I walk outside and find my friends and the two of them give me naughty smiles. I frown, still embarrassed at Jason’s comment. I guess they heard it too.

“How was your sleep, Sleeping Beauty?” Ollie smirks but her teasing tone confuses me.

“Good, why?”

My friends exchange an amused glance and smile.

“You don’t remember how you feel asleep last night?”

“No.” I frown.

That’s right. I don’t remember getting to bed or changing into my pyjama pants.

“What happened?”

Olivia takes a long drag of her cigarette and motions Marie to talk. She tilts her neck so she’s fully looking at me and grins.

“We were all talking by the fireplace until we realized you had fallen asleep on Harry.” She giggles. “He whispered something on your ear but you didn’t even grunt back so he just picked you up bridal style and said ‘Well, the Sleeping Beauty and I are retiring to our bedchamber, sleep well’ and like that he just walked past us” Oh, boy “and then he told you ‘tell your friends goodnight’ and you grunt something none of us understood and then he just took you to bed.”

“Oh, God.” I can feel the heat on my cheeks as I finally seat down on the free couch giving my back to the house and looking ahead. “He put my pyjama pants on me too.”

Marie pouts at us and Olivia giggles.

“It’s still strange for me to see you like that” Ollie adds.

“Like what?” I challenge.

“You know” She just shrugs “Smitten.”

I don’t have time to complain because the whirlwind that’s Jason bursts into the balcony and rushes to our side.

“Please don’t tell me you started without me.” He scolds Marie but she just shakes her head and blushes.

Oh, so this is what this was. A Golden Girls’ reunion for gossip. Oh, my, Marie! She might have finally do Adam! Marie gives us a smile before she takes a sip of the cup she has in front of her. Olivia puffs the smoke of her cigarette out before she speaks.

“Oh, come on! That tea was stone cold! Stop being dramatic and tell us! What is it like to fuck someone with E.D?”

“Olivia!” Both Jason and I scold her in unison.

“What? I’m just asking what you two don’t dare to ask.”

She’s so straightforward and blatant I think she might kill Marie from embarrassment.

“Did he have a penis prothesis on?”

“Ollie!” Again.

“Stop!” She scolds us back. “I’m doing you a favour!”

Jason sighs but smiles and my eyes leave Olivia so I can look at Marie. Her cheeks are tinged pink but she doesn’t seem uncomfortable. I guess she spends too much time with Olivia so as to be offended by her inappropriate comments. She smirks before she leans in.

“I haven’t slept.” She whispers. “I think I’m gonna be stiff.”

I throw my head back and laugh out loud and my friends do the same. Jason whistles and Olivia starts singing a soccer celebratory chant until Marie shushes her. Fucking finally! I can tell Ollie and J are us happy for her as I am and Marie seems very happy herself…. Adam must be good.

“But how was it?” Jason asks. “Did you guys have any problem? I mean all night boning with an erectile disfunction… How did he do it?”

“He has a pump, doesn’t he?” Ollie insists.

“He doesn’t.” Marie shakes her head with a devilish smile. “Viagra works for him.” She smiles. “And sucking.”

She giggles and the three of us laugh out loud.

“But seriously guys, it was insane.” Marie shakes her head. “I mean it was like… We couldn’t get enough, you know? I have never been more turned on in my entire life.”

“Jesus, Marie, careful or you might turn into a sex-obsessed perv at 22.” Jason jokes.

“I just might.” She giggles. “I rediscover oral sex and it’s a dream.”

Olivia and I laugh louder that we probably should but we’re just happy our friend is finally letting go on the sexual department.

“I mean as an overview, it was the best sexual experience in my life.”

“I’m definitely finding a boyfriend in Bellamond.” Jason states “I mean considering Indie’s screams this morning and your review… I think there’s something there.”

“Jason.” I death glare at him but he shrugs and sticks out his tongue.

“Oh, we all heard it.” Olivia licks her lips inside her mouth. “It was kind of awkward to stand on the kitchen with Adam while you moaned Harry’s name out loud.”

“Oh my God.”

“Yeah.” She nods her head repeatedly and I plan to tell Harry we’re not fucking ever again in this house.

As if he was being called upon for further embarrassment of mine, he opens the door to the balcony and call us in for breakfast.

“I think he’s got a banana for you.”

I look at Jason hoping my eyes transmit all the disapproval I have for his joke but his eyes don’t meet mine… Bastard.

We all have breakfast at the same time and even if it’s been just one night spent together, the mood among us is so much calmer, as if we all just knew one another from the early days.

I take some of the fruit they cut to go with the pancakes but stay off carbs and pour some black coffee on my empty cup. Harry takes my fork and pokes a pancake that he leaves on my plate. I frown.

“You gotta eat, baby.”

“I’m eating.” I whisper.

He gives me a hard stare and I choose to ignore him. I know I’m blushing hard so I eat my fruit choosing to just leave the pancake on my plate and not have any eye contact with anyone on the table.

After breakfast, us girls clean the mess before we all go down for a walk along the beach. Harry and Marie are walking a few steps ahead and I wonder whether they’re talking about Adam or about me. Ollie intertwines her arm with mine.

“Look at her and don’t fool yourself” she whispers looking at Marie “there where she stands, she’s the dirtiest in us four.”

I giggle at her comment and know she came here to get me out of my thoughts.

“Do you think they’re talking about ho Harry’s gonna propose?”

“What? No! Seriously, what’s wrong with you?”

She laughs.

“Maybe she’s scolding him for the volume this morning...” She teases before she starts dubbing their conversation. “Harry, that was outrageous. You guys broke a window! I’m sorry, Marie Anne, Blue’s depraved.”

I click my tongue and swat her forearm and she just laughs.

“He calls you Blue.” She notices.

I tilt my neck and my hazel eyes bore into the grey blue on hers. I want to ask her to stay in Grad with us, I want to tell her she has no idea how much I’m going to miss her.

“He does.” I say instead.

“I’m sad I’m leaving right when you’re falling in love.” She regrets. “I want to see that.”

Then don’t leave.

“I’ll always love Dylan.”

She stops on her tracks and stares at me.

“Who said you wouldn’t?”

We both start walking again.

“You know Rose from Titanic had a daughter with someone else. Do you think she stopped loving Jack?”

Unaware, we reach Adam and realize he’s for some reason walking alone. We speed up a little so we can catch up with him and surround him making him look at both his sides and laugh.

“Hey there Romeo.” Olivia smirks.

I chuckle as Adam blushes and smiles at her.

“Hey there Tinkerbell.”

I laugh at his comparison and Ollie frowns. She would make a great Tinkerbell.

“I guess you say that because I’m cheerful and spontaneous.”

“And teasing.”

“Yeah, that too but what would be life without teasing?” She smiles.

I guess I’m about to find out next year when she’s gone… Yet I can only guess it’s boring and dull and I won’t like it half as much as now.

“Marie’s very happy this morning. I wonder why.”

“Olivia, get out of here.”

She walks away laughing hysterically after she managed to bring every colour out on Adam’s face.

“That’s what you guys were talking about at the porch this morning, right?”

I suck my lips inside my mouth hoping my silence makes it up for the confirmation he yearns for. I see him taking a deep breath and frown. I know I got mad at him for the same thing I’m about to do but if my friend’s feelings are not reciprocated… I shouldn’t meddle but I’ll have to tell her…

“Hey, she just told us it was amazing.”

He almost gives himself whiplash with how fast he tilts his neck to look at me and I have to hold back my giggles. His eyes are opened wide but he seems rather distressed so I try to light up the mood.  

“You played hard to get for long enough.”

Yeah, I suck at lighting up the mood…

“Well, it’s not easy, Indie.” His jaw clenches. “I know it’s been a lot of years and I really do try but it’s just hard. Well, actually it’s not.”

His joke takes me by surprise. I try not to laugh because I don’t know whether it’d be appropriate even if it was him who said it but he looks at me from the corner of his eyes and in that blue I can see his permission. I chuckle.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re forgiven.” He smiles. “You’ve done a lot for me even if you don’t know that.”

I hold his gaze trying to figure out what he’s saying but he takes a deep breath when he realizes I’m not as smart as he made me out to be.

“I know you talked to Marie about it and you’ve always encouraged her.”

“I do that for her.”

“I know, but still indirectly you helped me too.”

I nod.

“Marie’s very special, not just for me but in general, but I guess that you know.” He shrugs. “It’s the first woman after the accident that makes me feel as if I didn’t have a problem and that’s just… Precious to me.”

I believe him. He must feel lucky that someone like Marie set her eyes on him. If he manages to keep her around, he’ll have a wonderful woman by his side through thick and thin because that’s who Marie is. But I know he’s special too and that’s why I encouraged my friend like he said.

“Plus, she’s gorgeous, caring and sweet.” He smiles.

“She’s got everything.”

“She’s got everything.” He agrees.

“It’s a good thing you’re a good guy too. Harry says you’re the kindest man he knows.”

He chuckles and shakes his head.

“And you mentioned an organisation when we met.” I remind him. “Is that something you run? Is that what you do?”

“Well, I’m a journalist.” Oh, right, yeah, he said it. “But yeah I do… Collaborate with an organisation in Bellamond… Gemma and I do actually. It all started about a year after the accident when Gem was all used to her chair and her new life and all that and… It was just a very tough, very strange, difficult situation because we were all blaming ourselves and we couldn’t move on from that because I felt guilty that I had drunk so Harry had to drive because I knew he was tired, I just never thought he would…” His voice croaks and he clears his throat. “And Gemma felt terrible because she blamed herself for having drunk when they agreed she wouldn’t and then she felt like she had ruined her brother’s life because she knew he would live with that guilt forever.” He shrugs. “It wasn’t his fault, God knows that, I just wish he would know that too.”

I feel terrible for unwillingly adding to that guilt. When I heard he was behind the wheel that night, I just blanked. And it wasn’t because I thought he was to blame. I didn’t know what had happened so I didn’t know whether he was. It was just because it all came back again. Dylan, the accident, my role in the whole thing, the hospital, the grief, my bed, my parents…

They couldn’t make it. I ruined their marriage. And we never talk about that and no one has ever dared to say that but that is the truth. After Dylan’s accident, I just wasn’t there. My body was but my heart, and with it my mind, had died with him. I think it’s safe to say during the months that followed his death I drove everyone crazy. After that, it was just me that had gone mad.

Adam and I turn around as we hear Olivia’s screams only to find her hanging from Mario’s back like a big bag. We both chuckle and I feel a large hand resting on my low back.

“Hi, love.” Harry smiles down at me.

“Hi.”

“You’ve been mingling with Adam, huh?”

“We’ve just been talking shit about you really.” I joke.

But he tenses up and I laugh before I place my hand on his chest and stand on my tip toes to kiss him.

“Relax, I was just kidding.”

His hands set a firm grip on my hips as he holds me in front of him and grins before he lean down to whisper in my ear.

“They all heard you this morning.” I can feel him smile against my ear. “You better be quiet next time.”

“There won’t be a next time. Here.” I clarify.

“What? Why not?”

I look at him as if he had just gone insane. He might have if he doesn’t think everyone hearing us is reason enough for us not to have sex again. It still amazes me how he just doesn’t seem to care at all about what other people think; like last night when he picked me up and took me to the room under everybody’s attentive stare.

“You just don’t give a fuck about the others, huh?”

“I mean” he smiles “I think they already knew we fuck.”

I laugh out loud and he grins at me. I love these moments with him when we are both happy and we’re not walking on eggshells around each other. I reckon most of the times that is my fault anyway.

I capture his lips with mine again and he smiles against my mouth. I know he’s surprised by my behaviour but he shouldn’t be. Although that’s my fault too.

“Fuck, what did Adam tell you that has you all kissy?” He frowns but chuckles. “You two should talk more.”

Our walk along the shore continues and for a while I walk next to him, with his arm over my shoulders as my friends also divide on small groups.

“I read a book once about the ocean where one of the characters just stood on the shore and wondered where the ocean really ended or started for the shore is always moving because it depends on how much water the wave pushes out.” He burbles.

I tilt my neck to look at him and his cheeks tinge pink. I smile.

“I like that.” I tell him. “I guess the more dynamic something is, the harder it is to say when it ends because I mean… Did it end or did it change in shape and form?”

He smiles.

“Like Heraclitus’ river.”

“I didn’t know you were into philosophy.”

“Well, I’m not as basic as you think I am.”

I frown.

“I don’t think you’re basic.” I think you’re smart and kind and attentive.

He smiles.

“My dad used to read allegories to me when I was little. You know story time before bed? Well, my dad read The Little Prince to me when I was about six or seven. I liked it and after that he just started talking to me about ontology and stuff.”

“When you were little?”

“Yeah, he’s a nerd.”

“Like father, like son then.”

“I guess.” He laughs.

“Do you see him much?” I whisper.

“Not really.” He shakes his head. “I see him on Christmas, Easter, birthdays… But… The relationship I have with him is nothing like the one I have with my mum. Even though, not even with my mum I… She just reminds me too much of what I did…”

“What happened.” I correct him. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“Do you really think that?”

“Of course, I do.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I think what happened to you was terrible, a tragedy, but I don’t think it’s anybody’s fault.”

He smiles sadly before he pushes me away playfully.

“Well thanks but I don’t want your sorrow so…” He smiles “Why don’t you tell me about your dad?”

“Well you know he had an aortic dissection.”

“Yes, I do know that.” He smirks. “I meant more about your relationship with him and stuff.”

“Well, it’s a good one. I am a lot like him, I think, in a lot of ways. But he’s better with emotions. It’s strange that I suck so much at talking feelings and feeling them when both my mum and dad are killing it.” I laugh humourlessly.

“Why do you say you suck at emotions? It always calms me down to talk to you and I think you can read my emotions pretty well.” He shrugs.

Well then I guess what I meant is that I suck at showing my own emotions. I feel like most people don’t know how I’m feeling half the time and if it was just with someone, I could blame them, but it’s such a general thing that it must be me. I shrug.

“I don’t know. I guess I compare myself with my mum and dad and I just wish it could come as natural to me as it does to them to tell people how I feel about them.”

Harry smirks and when I realize it, Marie’s house is on his back and we’re coming back inside for lunch. That was the longest walk ever.

“I won’t ask you how you feel about me.”

“Indie, I volunteered us for cooking lunch today.” Jason announces.

“Cool.”

“It’s pasta, the easiest!” He explains.

“I gotta-” I point at Jason and Harry just smiles and nods his head.

He goes find the rest while I go to the kitchen and Jason and I cook laughing and joking around and I save him the reminder of what he said last night about missing David. I think he doesn’t remember saying that but the less he thinks about it the better so I choose to let it go.

After lunch, I brush my teeth and make my way towards the spot on the couch I’ve been eyeing for the past twenty minutes. It’s right next to the fire and Marie’s couch is so comfortable… And I just want to take a nap so I can enjoy the little party we’re throwing tonight. Marie’s asleep crawled up in a ball on the other end of the couch so I carefully lie on her feet and get comfortable trying not to wake her.

I close my eyes and rest my head on the cushions. It feels like my body deflates. Poor Marie is probably on REM phase by now since she didn’t sleep last night and I wonder if Adam is asleep too. I feel the softness of a heavy blanket over me and when my eyes flutter opened, I realize the blanket has fallen over Marie as well and it covers both our bodies from her chin to mine. I see Olivia taking a seat on the armchair by the fireplace.

“Thank you.” I yawn.

“Don’t thank me, thank Harry.”

Frowning, I tilt my neck and see Harry’s back as he sits on a chair at the table where the rest of the guys. I think they’re playing poker. I have no problem because Harry doesn’t sleep but I’m guessing my friends’ boyfriends might be passed out at ten pm.

           We’re sitting down on the beach on the dry sand near the shore. Harry’s sitting next to me and he’s got his arms wrapped around his knees that are close to his chest and he’s smiling as he tells me about his dad.

“He’s a musician.” He says. “Growing up I wanted to be one too but I don’t want to spend that much time away.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… I want to have a normal job so I can spend time with my family.”

“Your family?” I raise my eyebrows.

“Yes.” He smiles.

“Are you trying to tell me something?”

He chuckles and shakes his head.

“Growing up I wanted to be an sculptor and then a dolphins’ trainer.”

He laughs.

“God, I wish you would have been a dolphins’ trainer.”

I laugh and look ahead towards the seashore. Harry gets his laptop out of his bag and starts typing next to me. I hear the clicking of his keyboard, but I also hear the click of wood on a fire so I look around me and find a bonfire and a coyote. He stares into my eyes and I tilt my neck. I know those eyes, I’ve seen them before but before I can stand up and get closer, he runs away. He seems afraid.

When I turn back around towards the sea, my heart stops and I see him standing in front of me.

“Hello, Indie.”

My words catch on my throat, my pulse accelerates and my belly aches. He looks just like last time I saw him and he’s wearing the same clothes, his blue hoodie and his blue jeans.

“Long time no see.” He continues with a big smile.

“You…”

“I never got to tell you, I thought the blue dress suited you better. Did you ever get to wear it?”

My eyes fill with tears.

“Hey, don’t cry.” He rests his hands on my knees but I just can’t do anything.

I can’t speak, I can’t move and I can’t control any of this. What is he doing here? He tilts his neck and the blue of his eyes darkens.

“Hey” he starts “who are you?”

“Hi, I’m Harry. I’m Blue’s husband.”

I get my mobility back because I turn my head until my eyes burn holes in the side of his face.

“No.” I say.

I hurt him but he just stays quiet.

“But I’m her boyfriend.” Dylan complains.

“You’re dead.”

“No.” I cry.

“What?” Dylan looks down at me before he frowns and brings a hand to his head. “I’m not.”

When he stands back on his feet, I look down at my knees and see he’s left his wet handprint. Looking up, I realize his clothes are now soaked and he’s dripping on the sand before me.

“Why are you wet?”

“Oh, I am?” He touches the side of his head again. “I must have fallen in the water. But, Indie, you’re bleeding.”

I look down from his pained face to my thighs and I see my belly is all covered in blood. I feel like the lump on my throat is becoming a river and then I open my mouth and on my hand I gather a fall of red blood.

“I’m gonna get a doctor.” Dylan says. “Stay here.”

I see his car keys on his left hand and I grab his leg, getting his wet jeans covered in blood.

“No! No! Don’t go, don’t drive, Dylan! Don’t drive!”

“But you’re bleeding.”

“That’s how you die. Don’t drive.”

“I’m sorry, that’s my car.”

And then he starts running and I stand up from the sand and I try to run after him but my legs aren’t working so I just yell. I yell for him not to get in the car but he still does and he gives me a smile before he drives away.

I see the car crushing against a deer and I see it rolling over itself until the trees stop it. I cry and I scream and my legs are still not working and then I realize I have something on my hand, long silver tongs covered in blood and when I look down my belly is still covered in blood but so are the inner side of my thighs.

“You killed him.” Harry cries in front of me. “Why would you kill our baby?”

“Indie!” A female voice calls me from afar. “Indie!”

“That’s him! You killed him!”

“Indie!”

It’s Olivia. When I wake up, I see Olivia shaking my shoulders and I realize my cheeks are wet.

“You were crying in your sleep.” She explains. “What was it?”

I look down at my belly. It’s not covered in blood but it hurts and my head hurts as well and I don’t know what the hell that was.

“Was it Dy?” Marie’s voice is a whisper.

I cover my face with my hands and cry but I nod for them.

“Shit.” Olivia hugs me close to her chest and motions whoever is behind the couch to let us be. “Cry, hon. Let it out.”

I don’t know how long I cry for but it didn’t feel for long at all. I still have an upsetting feeling on my belly and it literally hurts and so does my head. I am also a little dizzy but that might be due to the fucking diet.

“Where’s Harry?” My voice croaks before I have a sip of the tea Marie made for me.

“Shower.” Mario calls from behind me.

“Nobody says a word about this to him.” I point a finger at the three of them and they all nod.

We hear the door of my room opened and I finish up my tea before I ruffle my own hair and look down at the floor, hoping Harry won’t notice.

“I’m going to have a shower.” I announce.

“Okay.” Ollie grabs my empty cup and I walk past Harry.

“What happened?” I hear his voice fading in the distance as I get inside the room.

“Oh, nothing.” Ollie covers up. “The nap didn’t sit too well on her.”

I shut the door of our room and then lock the bathroom door just in case. I have calmed down a lot but I just have to think about the way Dylan looked on my dream to start crying. How is it possible that after three years my subconscious can remember him so well?

Not even when I try to picture him consciously I get him so right and then I think we might not recognize people on dreams because of their faces but because of the way we feel when we see them. I think I know it was Dylan not because he looked like him but because I just knew. I could feel it.

I shut my eyes. Dylan is not here, Dylan is not here… Yet Dylan is always here.

There’s blood on my underwear. That explains the bellyache and the headache and, despite how terrible the dream was, it amazes me how I dreamt about it even before I knew I was on my period.

I let the water take away the remaining of the rushing thoughts dreaming about Dylan always leaves me with. I know this is all me. I’m the only one who’s inside my mind but sometimes, times like this, I feel like not even me is there.

I take an ibuprofen with water from the bathroom tap and put on my menstrual cup. And then I put on my underwear and let the bathroom door opened as I do my make up. I brush my hair first and I let it dry on my back while I put my make up on.

I’m pale and horrible and I know that’s the lack of estrogen speaking but that doesn’t mean I can make it shut up. When I give up, for I’m not happy with the result, I walk inside the room and jump when I see Harry sitting on the bed.

“Jesus!” I bring my hand to my chest. “How long have you been in there?”

“Not long.” He shrugs. “How are you feeling? Olivia told me you had a bellyache?”

“I’m on my period.” I tell him.

“Oh, do you get bad cramps?”

“Ibuprofen works just fine.”

“Good. Did you have anything to eat?”

There he goes again. This guy can’t seem to understand a diet.

“You’re a fourth year Med student, you should know ibuprofen can hurt the gastric mucosa on an empty stomach.”

“You’re a doctor, you should know women on their period don’t want to listen to any mansplaining.”

He chuckles.

“I’m sorry but I’m gonna get you a banana.”

I challenge him but smile when he can’t see me. I love his caring nature, like how he put the blanket on Marie and me before or how he got me off my jeans and into my PJs last night.

When he’s back with my banana, I already have my dress on. I take the banana from him and nibble on it as I feel his eyes roaming my body up and down. It’s a simple baby pink woollen dress but it’s tight and short and I knew he would like it.

“You look bloody amazing.” He smirks.

I click my tongue and swat his arm playfully, but he just laughs.

“The worse thing is I won’t be able to finger you tonight…”

“You were not able anyway because everyone heard us-”

“I meant because there’s no latch and your friends might caught me red-handed.”

I push him away and tell him he’s not funny but he’s laughing his ass off and dealing with his stupid jokes is worth it if I get to hear his laughter.

“Wait” I look at the door “there’s no latch?”

I blush while his hands find the lower part of my belly where my underwear begins and he presses my back to his chest and kisses the side of my neck. You mean we had sex this morning when they could just burst in… I sigh when his tongue touches my neck.

“What are you doing?”

“You smell so good” He praises “and look so sexy in this dress, baby…”

“You behave yourself.”

I grab his hands and put them away from me and he gives me innocent puppy eyes. I shake my head before I escape him.

I feel terrible. I can’t even look him in the eyes without remembering the fucking dream and it’s like I’m waiting for Dylan to arrive any minute. But he won’t.

So I ignore him for most of the night. It’s a good thing we’re seven people because I think he doesn’t notice it much. I’m here and about with the Golden Girls getting drunk off my ass so that I forget about the dream and about Dylan and about Harry and I forget as well that I’m a fucking hypocrite who’s falling in love with someone else.

I am making two more drinks, one for Ollie and one for me, when he finds us in the kitchen. Ollie is nibbling on a piece of brownie as she fantasizes about having family reunions with Mario, Coco and Guido.

His hands grab my waist and he gives Olivia a smile.

“I’m gonna steal my girlfriend away for a bit.”

“Aw, you called her your girlfriend!” Olivia embarrasses me with a puppy look and I roll my eyes.

“Because she is, I know it doesn’t look like it; but she is.”

Olivia takes his comment as her cue to leave and I turn around to face him.

“What was that?”

“What the hell is going on?” He whispers.

“Nothing.” I lie. “I’m just having fun with my friends. Just because we’re together now doesn’t mean we have to be together all the time, you said it yourself.”

“Well, I didn’t mean like this but anyway I made you this bite.”

He guides me to the kitchen island where all the bottles of alcohol and the soft drinks and the crisps and nuts and lollies Jason and Ollie bought are but I see there’s a plate with a sandwich and some fruit on the table.

“Thank you but I’m not hungry.”

“You barely had anything for dinner and you’re drinking quite a lot.”

“So?”

“So you should eat.”

“You’ve been like this all day.” I call him out. “I’m not like anorexic or anything, just let it be.”

“I’m not saying you’re anorexic, Blue. But I’m not an idiot and I’ve noticed you’ve been eating very little.”

“I’m on my period. I get swollen and I get bellyaches, that’s normal shit.”

“Let’s not talk about that now.” He whispers.

“Why not? Are you high again?”

He frowns and the green of his eyes looks like a glass bottle just broke. My jaw clenches and my nostrils flare. If he didn’t have enough with him scolding me for losing whatever child I was carrying, not he’s scolding me in real life too.

“Don’t get it wrong, Harry. I’m not the sick one here.”

“Do you think I’m sick?” I can hear the pain vibrating in his voice but I go on.

“Aren’t you an addict?”

“I told you I am not and I haven’t smoked ever since.”

“Well why should I believe you? All junkies lie.”

“So you think I’m a junkie now?”

“That’s just another word for addict.”  I shrug.

He steps a foot away from me and I can see how bad my words have affected him. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows and his green eyes look into mine while redness and water fill the white on them.

“I might be an addict, Blue” He whispers “but not to weed.”

With that he walks away and I watch him putting on his coat that was hanging from the coat rack next to the door before he gets out of the house.

What did I just say?

I make my way to the couch and take a seat on the free one before I crawl into a fetal position. Marie and Adam are cuddling on the other couch, Jason has come to check on me but I have dismissed him telling him it’s just period cramps and Ollie and Mario are pouring themselves another drink while Jason dances around them.

I am a terrible person and Harry needs to leave before I hurt him worse. I don’t know why he’s still even here but I think he does. He knows I’m bad too. I replay his last sentence on my mind “I might be addicted, Blue, but not to weed” and I’m not sure what he meant by that but what hurts is that I know it was nothing good by the tone of it.

An addiction is not a good thing, it is not something that brings joy, it’s not healthy, it’s not even a choice. It’s consuming and it’s something that embarrass the addict, it’s a constant fight, it’s destructive, it’s unwanted. It’s toxic and I wonder if that is what I am to him. Someone toxic, someone that hurts him but that he can’t get away from. It hurts me to think I could ever make him feel like that.

And what hurts the most is to realize just now that he’s the best thing that could have happened to me. I even dreamt about it today and Dylan’s presence was so thick that I didn’t pay attention to the other details but he was my husband in the dream and we were expecting a child together. Is that what I want? Deep down, in that part of the unconscious where my reason doesn’t reach? Is that what I want when I let my guard down?

But where does that leave Dylan? Where’s Dylan place? I don’t want to forget about him. I don’t want to forget the way I loved him and I would rather die than stop loving him. He’s still alive in my heart and in my mind but if someone else takes that place then where does he go? What is him then?

I don’t know how long it’s been since Harry left and I have no clue where he can be. It’s freaking cold outside and I doubt he’s just sitting in the porch because I think Mario would have said something when he went outside for a smoke. I want to call him but I decide against it. If he left a cabin in a village he doesn’t even know in the middle of the night was to get away from me and I can only guess the last thing he wants right now is to hear from me.

I remember when he told me there wasn’t enough Indie on my heart. Even then he knew and he decided to stay anyway but I kept pushing and now if he leaves me for real, well that’s what I deserve. I wonder if I even have a heart anymore but I guess I must have at least some part of it still for otherwise I wouldn’t be feeling this pain.

I don’t really remember when was the last time I felt like this. Ever since Dylan died, I think I used up all my pain on his grief and I run out of pain and I felt nothing for the longest time. Just numbness and a very sick of relativising for anything was as painful as losing Dylan and hence nothing really mattered anymore.

But this matters and this hurts. It hurts on my sternum and it hurts on the pit of my belly and it hurts on my throat and in the back of my head and it hurts to think that I might never have his warm arms around me or that he might never told me something only I know.

“Look what I got for you” Ollie smirks as she places a glass of gin and tonic on the coffee table before me.

“Thank you but if I drink any more, I might throw up.”

“Oh, no, then” she has a sip of it herself “you need to stay fresh for your tiger.”

I almost cry. They all know he left but he did it so calmly they might think he’s on the phone or something. If they knew what really happened and what I have told him, I know Ollie would throw me in the freezing sea and I would deserve it.

“Was I really that loud?” I pout.

“You both were loud.” She frowns amused. “Actually, I was a little jealous.”

“I was the one who was jealous.” Jason’s head sticks out from behind the couch and we both narrow our eyes at him. “David Dick had a fifty inches drill and still didn’t make me moan like that.”

Ollie and I chuckle but he just rolls his eyes.

“Well, size’s not enough. You gotta know how to use it.” Olivia whispers.

“Yeah, I mean it’s not even about the penis. Sex is a lot more than just penetration.”

“Damn right. There’s a lot more to the penis, like Viagra.”

“Ollie, they’re going to hear you!” I sit up from my ball position.

And Ollie raise her arms in the air as if that would show how little she cares about being heard. She seems to be ready to bed.  

“Well, let them. If she doesn’t want to give us details, maybe he will.”

“Not a chance.” I tell her. “He’s just like her. He doesn’t even look like the kind of guy who tells his friends about his sex adventures the morning after.”

“Yeah, right.” She disagrees. “You just need to be a guy for that, dear.”

“So you don’t care that Mario tells his friends how you’re in bed.” I challenge her.

She lets her weight fall on the cushion beside me and rests her head on my shoulder.

“If he thinks I’m good, no.”

This friend of mine does not give a shit about anything but I love that her answer didn’t change after what happened with Jack. It gives me the confirmation that I needed, she does not care about what other people think it happened at that engagement party and she does not even care about what other people think of her past relationship with Jack. She just cared about what Jack thought about her and that’s what hurt her and the reason she wants to leave for Paris is not so she can run away from an environment she doesn’t like but so she can run away from falling in love with Mario and risking everything again.

When I’m about to bring Paris up, I hear the door opening and closing. Who left now? But I see Harry walking inside and his green eyes scan the room but doesn’t give any of the people here much of his time. He gives me the same time he gives everybody else and I feel my heart breaking harder.

“I’m going to bed.”

The music is so loud I can barely hear him but I manage to read his lips so I tell my friends I’m going to bed too and Olivia’s head that rested on my shoulder falls on the cushion and she giggles. I see Mario approaching her and whispering things on her ears as I leave the room. I think Jason’s passed out on the back of the couch.

I run the distance that separates me from Harry and when I reach him, anxious and regretful, he just gives me a look and doesn’t say anything. His hand reaches for the doorknob and he waits for me to enter the room before he closes the door. Even that small gesture gives me some hope.

He turns on the lamp on the bedside table, so the light is dim and warm, before he takes off his coat and leaves it on the chair of the desk and I can’t take my eyes off him. Either it softly rained, or it was so cold and humid outside that some humidity gathered on his brunette locks in the form of droplets and I want to run my fingers through his locks and make sure he’s not too cold.

“What are you looking at?” He’s dry but I deserve it.

“You’re beautiful.”

“A beautiful junkie?”

I hate his curtness. Is this how he feels when he tells me I’m cold or blunt? He’s never like this and as much as I deserve it, I also want to cry. I fucked it up so bad that I lost my caring, affectionate Harry and got this one. I sit down on the bed and look down so he can’t see my pathetic sad face.

“I don’t think you’re a junkie.”

“Then why did you say it?”

“Because I was mad.”

“One of the first things I told you when we met is I don’t lie and it’s true I didn’t tell you I was driving the night of the accident but you never asked either. I never told you a lie, I just never told you the truth but tonight I told you and if I say it, then it’s true. I haven’t smoked anything since my sister’s birthday and I’m not addicted to weed, I’ve never been. If you believe, fine; but if you don’t, that’s fine too. There’s nothing I can do about what you believe or not.”

“I believe you.”

He huffs.

“Just stop lying. I don’t lie because I hate lies so just-”

“I’m not lying.”

I dare to look up at him so he can see the sincerity in my eyes. He holds my gaze for the longest minute before he sighs.

“Tell me what you think about me.” He asks. “And tell me the truth.”

I hold his vulnerable stare and I think it’s precisely the vulnerability in his eyes that make me lick my lips before I tell him. I should be the one feeling vulnerable considering I’m about to think out loud about him with him and yet he looks as if he was afraid of what he was going to find. I’ll admit the gin is also taking away some of the inhibitions and the fear of losing him and the fear of hurting someone so wonderful is what makes me speak.

“I think you’re a very intelligent man. Brilliant, to be exact.” I start. “You’re incredible at what you do. I’ve seen you working and you do it in a way that seems even easy when there’s nothing easy about taking decisions that could either save somebody’s life or kill them and you also do it so respectfully and humanly and you never forget that you’re treating with people that go for you looking for hope and comfort and you give them just that, much like you give that to me.” My voice croaks but I clear my throat.

Now that I’ve started I can’t stop and I want to tell him everything I’ve ever thought about him and haven’t said.

“And I admire you. I admire you for that and for your strength because when I look at you what I see is a kind, strong, caring man that has had such bad luck and such a terrible thing happened and still here you are, giving yourself to others every single day. I also think it shows that you were raised among women because you’re protective in nature, kind, tender, well-mannered, disgustingly charming, caring, careful and gentle and I feel… Safe around you. I feel protected and I never thought I would say that because I’ve always wanted to be strong and independent and I don’t wanna need a man but it’s true. You make me feel safe.”

My vision gets blurry and my lips tremble almost as much as my voice.

“I think you’re very impulsive too and spontaneous. You surprise me all the time and I love how your mind works like the things you randomly say that makes me realize how creative and observant and actually smart you are. You make me laugh even when you don’t try to. Actually, especially when you don’t try to because your jokes are terrible but I like them anyway, like even the ones about my period. I told you you weren’t funny but I thought you were.”

He seems to like stand-up monologues because he isn’t saying anything and it doesn’t look like he’s going to.

“You are very confident and you have very clear what you want and what you don’t and sometimes that can turn into stubbornness or arrogance but how can I blame you? If I had your looks, I might be arrogant as well.” I shrug. “I think there’s no need for me to tell you what I think about your… appearance, your face and your body, you… look like… some God or something I made up in my sleep but you already know that, you’ve got mirrors.”

Nervous about his silence, I look up from my fidgeting hands to his face and find him looking at me completely stunned, with green wild eyes wide opened and pink lips parted. I start to feel the weight of the words I just spoke and the tears I was holding finally roll down my cheeks and I decide I’ll be fully honest with him.

“And that scares me” I sob and he finally reacts.

His strong arms wrap around me and pull me against his warm chest and I hide my face against the woollen of his sweater. His hand caresses my back.

“Baby, I promise you”

Large hands cup my face and make me look into his green eyes. His thumbs wipe my tears away and his eyes burn mine.

“That I won’t ever smoke or do anything to hurt you, okay? Trust me, Blue, I am not gonna hurt you.”

I search for the trap in his eyes but all I find is relief and sincerity and… Want, desperate want. He wants me just as much as I want him and I don’t get it because I can’t understand why someone like him would want my company but he does and I want his, I want him, all of him, even the dark parts.

His fingers caress my face and I know he’s trying to get rid of my makeup stains until he gives up and kneels down to take my heels off. I let him because not seeing him might make this easier.

“Harry…”

“Tell me.”

“I also hate it when you tell me I have to eat.”

“Yeah, I saw that tonight…”

He stands tall and his hand grab the hem of my dress so he can pull it over my head.

“I know my body and I’m not like the other girls you might have gone out with before. God knows I’m not like Marie or Ollie, I need to watch what I eat and still I’ll never be as slender as them. I mean… that’s just how my body is and that is okay, I have come to terms with that but-”

During my speech, he has been undressing me and I haven’t even noticed but now I’m standing on just my underwear in front of him. Me and my period and my inflated belly and all the liquids retained and the soft baby hair on my arms and the marks of acne from my teenage years on my shoulders. But his eyes roam my body up and down and the corner of his lips curl and all I can see in him is lust and adoration.

“Blue, you are gorgeous.” He takes his time on the last word and I swallow. “I swear I have never been more turned on by anyone. You could turn me on just by looking at me and I’m not joking and your body is a fucking dream, baby, you drive me crazy. I mean… Look” Grabbing my hand, he places it on his chest where his heart is and I can feel his tachycardic pulse. “How many times have I seen you naked? And still this is what you do.”

I finally smile and he snores a timid chuckle.

“But anyway, we’re talking about pure physical here, right? Because we’re talking about you thinking you have to fit into somebody else’s idea of beautiful… Do you know what really turns me on? It’s the way you sound, your voice and your tone and the way you touch me and when you smile in the middle of sex, that’s just…” He tilts his neck and makes me giggle. “And anyway that doesn’t even matter, baby, I mean your body, that’s just the container, the presentation, if you will; and even though that was obviously what caught my eye the first time I met you, I think we’re past that.” He narrows his eyes and it felt like a question, like wouldn’t you agree?

His hands caress the lower of my back and my belly and my ass and I don’t mind them. I like it, I like it when he touches me like this.

“And I know you know your body and I would respect you going on a diet in order to lose weight if you needed to but you don’t, baby, and that’s what worried me, that you thought you did.”

“Is this doctor Harry speaking or my Harry?”

“I didn’t realize they were different.” He raises his eyebrows and I chuckle. “But I did turn a little doctor Harry on you there. But like you say, this is not me controlling, this is me caring.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” He smiles. “Now you really want to wash your face because you look like an adorable raccoon.”

“What?”

I push him away and rush to the bathroom as he laughs and when I get there I was my face immediately.

“I can’t believe you were having that conversation with me when I looked like a panda bear.”

He’s now brushing his teeth on the sink next to mine but a stupid grin is on his face as I get my hair on a bun to do the same. We stare at each other on the mirror with mouths full of white toothpaste, me on my underwear and him on his sweatpants and shirtless.

When I’m done, he grabs me by the hips and turns me around until my chest collides with his and then he leans down and presses his lips against mine. His mouth tastes fresh and minty and his tongue is playful but calmed. I love these kisses. He hums in my mouth and I smile because I think we were thinking the same.

He picks me up and takes me to the bed but before I can tell him we can’t have sex because I do not feel like taking the cup off, he takes my PJs and put them on me like I guess he did last night and he leans down and presses soft pecks to my lips before he turns around and turns off the light. His arms pull me to him as he spoons me.

“I love it when you take care of me.”

I hear him smile.

“I love taking care of you.”

#harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles love #harry styles fanfic #harry styles and reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles imagines

[sxveme-2]

blueberry pancakes // bucky barnes

MASTERLIST

Description: A single mother. Juggling being a mom, a full time pediatrician, and a difficult ex who believed now would be the best time to finally be a father. A soldier ripped out of time. Ex-assassin turned superhero. Learning how to balance a new domestic life with handling demons of his past, while facing the trials of the future. a love story began over something as simple as chocolate chip pancakes with hidden blueberries.

Disclaimer: I do not own any original Marvel characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios. This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else

Status: Edited

Note: Takes place after endgame. I have elected to ignore Tony's death and Steve's leaving. Did not happen. Quick Reminder! My works are only published here, AO3 and on Wattpad, thank you.

Chapter Three: The One With the Wallet

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 1511

    The nights that Lily spent alone were always the hardest for her to handle. She'd spend her day busying herself with miscellaneous activities in order to keep her mind off the empty house around her. Whether it be sweeping the floors, vacuuming the carpet, cleaning dishes that were probably already clean, whatever it was. If it kept her mind off the fact she'd be asleep alone in the house with only her dog...she'd do it.

But today...things just didn't work out like that. There were no dishes. Lily could practically see her reflection on the hardwood. The carpets were as soft as a cloud. She'd walked Joey twice already, and the dog then passed out in the living room with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. She scrolled through Netflix about six times, even made herself spinach puffs from scratch. And still, it was only 4pm.

Glancing down at the screen of her phone, she let out a gentle sigh. She figured she may as well spend some time out in the city. She's lived in New York State her whole life, and lived specifically in New York, New York, for 15 years. And yet she'd never done anything really tourist-y in ages. The last time she walked the streets of New York by choice was when she and Genevieve first moved out from Long Island. Those were the days. Living in an old and dingy apartment with Gen. Her only stress being school and balancing a part time job.

Lily lived like that for around two years or so. And then she met Scott. However, everyone knows how quickly her life had changed after that.

Grabbing her keys and purse, Lily bent down to press a gentle kiss on the top of her sleeping dog's head before sliding out the front door and locking it behind her. Would she wander the dirty streets of the city? Probably not. But she would for sure be stopping in to pester gen as she juggled running the cafe. Maybe even snag a few pancakes to indulge in during her nightly read. Who knew? All that the blonde knew was that she would definitely be grabbing at least one of Gen's infamous blueberry muffins.

-----

Around five, Lily felt herself grow weary of the hustle and bustle of the city. She had stopped into a few stores to take a look around, specifically the m&m store to pick Hunter up some chocolate, the Disney store, and just a few small boutiques. Making her way down the packed streets, Lily found herself out front of Gen's cafe. Letting out a soft sigh with a slight grin tugging at the corner of her lips, she pushed through the door.

The young girl's dark green eyes scanned around the room as she watched customers laugh over coffee, share a pancake, or just indulge in the tasty sweets that her best friend made her living making. Giving a small wave to a few of the wait staff, Lily maneuvered to the back, where with a furious intensity, Gen sat on a stool, icing a doughnut. Knocking on the wall to alert the fellow New York native of her presence, Lily made her way over.

"Well well, what did little ol' me do to deserve two trips by the infamous Lily Osborne today hm?" Gen teased while moving her work to the side, "Couldn't stay at home any longer?"

"Nope. If I took Joey out on another walk I think he may have gone into cardiac arrest," Lily chuckled while taking a seat down on a stool, dropping her bags, "I always hate when Hunters goes back to Scotts. The house feels so empty without him."

"I can imagine. Why don't I stay over tonight? Keep you some company in that basic suburban home of yours, hm? Sound like a plan, Doctor Osborne?" Gen grinned, nodding over to two bottles of wine beside the fridge, "Picked those two puppies up on my break. Figured it's better if I drank them with someone else, instead of just myself."

"Oho is that all I am? A buffer to keep you from turning into a raging alcoholic? Also, mind throwing some blueberry pancakes in a container for me?" Lily teased while snagging a chocolate chip out of the container.

"I thought you were aware of this?" Gen joked, before looking past Lily to one of the waiters pushing the door open, "Yes Elijah?"

"The man who called earlier about his wallet just showed up, where'd you put the thing?" the dark haired worker asked, dark eyes glancing down briefly towards Lily.

The blonde blushed ever so gently at the look, before turning around so her back was towards the male. She spotted the dark leather casing of a wallet and slid her arm out, pulling it into her grasp before standing. Lily pulled her purse over her shoulder and picked up the plastic bag her son's chocolate snack sat in, gripping it in her opposite hand.

"I'm heading out...I'll take it to him, what does he look like?" Lily asked as she brushed past Elijah, turning towards the seating area of the cafe.

"He's got long hair and a beard," a gruff voice commented from beside her, the small screech of a bar stool being scraped against hardwood echoing through the space, "and is wearing leather gloves."

Turning her attention to where the voice was coming from, Lily found herself face to face (or more so face to chest) with the same man she had seen earlier with her son. Bucky, right. That was his name. He was taller than lily had imagined, and more beefy in the chest then she could see from many tables over and under a clearly oversized jacket. But up close? The man looked like he could rip lily apart with his bare hands, and not even break a sweat. Granted...he was a supersoldier. She was sure he probably could actually do that, jacked or not.

"Oh! Sorry," Lily mumbled as she extended her arm with the wallet at the end, "I was leaving so I figured..." her voice trailed off, a familiar feeling of excited nerves bundling up in her throat. Letting out a deep breath before taking a small step back, after the cool sensation of metal danced across her fingers.

Lily remembered Hunter raving about how cool the Winter Soldier's metal arm was. How it was so strong it could tear car doors right off their hinges without any resistance. By remembering this, Lily’s suspicions were confirmed. He totally could rip her in half if he wanted to. But according to her son, the Winter Soldier was timid in real life. But how would she know for sure? She didn't know who he was.

"It's okay...thanks," he mumbled softly, seeming to nibble on his chapped bottom lip, "You were here earlier right? With the cute little guy?"

Lily nodded gently, fumbling with her fingers as her mind raced in an attempt to find a way to quickly exit this social situation. If she wasn't familiar with someone, it was rare to hear Lily speak. Being a talker was never one of the timid girls personality traits. She mostly kept quiet and never tried to go out of her way to spend time with new people or large groups. They made her nervous. She didn't trust people. She had seen what they were capable of doing.

A tap on her shoulder pulled Lily out of her self-inflicted panic mode. glancing behind her, Elijah stood with the paper container filled with blueberry pancakes for Lily. Giving a gentle smile, the blonde mouthed a thank you before turning back towards the man who seemed to have not moved a muscle since the two began talking. Or more so, he mumbled and she stood there dumbfounded. It wasn't much of a conversation.

"So...what'd you get?" the man asked, glancing around as if he too, was thinking of a way to either get out of this conversation, or at least distract himself from the seemingly terrified girl in front of him.

“Blueberry pancakes..." Lily laughed gently, biting down on her plush bottom lip, before her phone rang from inside of her purse. Sending a quick thank you to the good lord above, Lily excused herself from the awkward conversation, only catching a quick remark about how they were his favourite.

Pushing out into the humid air of New York in September, Lily pulled her phone out and answered quickly. A quick sigh of relief escaped her lungs as she turned away from the cafe and back towards where her car had been parked for the past hour and a bit. Finally, thankful she could get away from any possible chances of awkward run ins.

"Hello?" Lily spoke quietly into the phone as she unlocked her car, sliding into the front seat.

"He was totally eye fucking you." Gen's voice sang out as her bluetooth automatically connected from Lily's phone.

"Shut up! Be at my place at eight, weirdo."

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x female oc #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes fluff #original female character #female oc #OC #oc tag #marvel fanfiction #marvel #the winter soldier #the avengers #fanfiction #fanfic #tfatws #single mom #sebastian stan #fluffy #romance #comedy #james buchanan barnes

[myonechicagoworld]

CHICAGO FIRE – A COFFIN THAT SMALL (S01E19)

 [TRIGGER WARNING: kid trapped in laundry chute gif under the cut]

Matt Casey: Hey.

Heather Darden: I am so sorry. I completely zonked out.

Matt Casey: No worries. I didn’t want to wake you.

Heather Darden: What time is it?

Matt Casey: Uh, 7:00.

Heather Darden: Oops, I, uh, I have to pick up the boys from

                              grandma’s.

Matt Casey: Okay.

Heather Darden: Uh, the baking dish is still dirty, so I’m gonna

                              wash it.

Matt Casey: I’ll clean it.

Heather Darden: Matt.

Matt Casey: I saw this swing set fort type thing at True Value.

                      I’ve been meaning to build it for Griffin and Ben.

                      I’ll bring it and the dish by after shift. If that’s cool

                      with you.

Heather Darden: Thank you, you’re… that’s very sweet.

Matt Casey: Oh, come on.

Heather Darden: Mind if I use your bathroom?

Matt Casey: Of course.

                                    [knocks on door]

Kelly Severide: Hey.

Matt Casey: Hey.

Kelly Severide: My dad wanted me to drop that off. His way of

                          apologising for you catching that elbow.

Matt Casey: Thanks.

Kelly Severide: All right, well, I-I’ll see you at the house.

Heather Darden: Do you have any mouthwash?

Matt Casey: Eh… it’s not what you…

                      Hey.

                      Hey! It’s not what you think!

Kelly Severide: Yeah, I’m sure you’ve got it all figured out.

                                   [car door slams, engine starts]

                                                     cutscene

Christopher Herrmann: Hey! Any of you guys know John Pritchard,

                                         or are you all too young?

Matt Casey: He was gone before I came on, but I heard stories.

Mouch: Piece of work, that one.

Otis Zvonecek: What, he died or something?

Christopher Herrmann: Yeah! You know, Boden, Mouch and me,

                                          we all knew him back in the day. He

                                          must have been 20 years older than

                                          Boden if that tells you anything.

Otis Zvonecek: What did he die of?

Christopher Herrmann: Old man stuff. I don’t know.

Matt Casey: [chuckles]

Christopher Herrmann: Funeral is tomorrow up at Grayslake.

Otis Zvonecek: Are you guys going?

Christopher Herrmann: Yeah, I guess, you know? We should

                                         pay our respects.

Matt Casey: All right. Hydrant’s good to go.

Christopher Herrmann: [grunts]

                                         Peter Mills, you get to flush the next

                                         one.

Mouch: By the way, saikensha wa saimusha yori kioku yoshi.

Otis Zvonecek: What the hell’s that?

Mouch: You bet me I couldn’t say a sentence in Japanese. I just

              said one. You owe me 20 bucks.

Joe Cruz: [chuckles]

Otis Zvonecek: Okay. (A) I don’t remember that. And (B) how do

                           I know you’re not just speaking gibberish?

Mouch: It’s a sentence.

Otis Zvonecek: What’s it mean?

Mouch: Pay me 20 bucks, I’ll tell you.

Otis Zvonecek: Ridiculous. You tell me and…

Boy 1: Help! Help!

            He fell!

            We were playing hide and seek upstairs.

Victim 1 (Little boy): [groans]

Matt Casey: Hang on. We’re coming.

Victim 1 (Little boy): [strangled grunts]

                                                 - title -

Joe Cruz: (into radio) This is 81. I need a paramedic across from

                  our firehouse.

Dispatcher: (over radio) What’s the address?

Joe Cruz: (into radio) Look for our lights!

                  Let’s go, bro!

Peter Mills: Hit it!

                                        [siren wailing]

Victim 1 (Little boy): [strangled grunts/breathing]

Matt Casey: His neck’s twisted. He can’t breathe.

Boy 1: I told Taye not to go in that chute. He knows better.

Matt Casey: Come with me.

                      All right, we have to get through this block.

                                             [buzzing]

Boy 1: [crying]

                                         [sirens wailing]

Matt Casey: (over radio) 61, we need you on the second floor.

                      It’s a child.

Gabby Dawson: What’s going on?

Otis Zvonecek: Kid hid in the laundry chute.

Joe Cruz: Mills, get in here.

Peter Mills: Yeah!

                                             [drilling]

Lady 1 (Mom): Dougie?

Boy 1 (Dougie): [cries] I told him infinity times not to hide in

                           there [cries]

                                 [indistinct chatter]

Matt Casey: Okay let’s peel back the front.

Lady 1 (Mom): Taye?

Chief Boden: Ma’am. Ma’am, don’t look.

Lady 1 (Mom): [gasps]

Chief Boden: We’ll get him out. Let them work.

Matt Casey: Get his head.

Lady 1 (Mom): Dougie… Honey, go upstairs.

Chief Boden: Okay.

Lady 1 (Mom): Oh God. Oh Lord.

Matt Casey: Let’s back him out.

Chief Boden: Don’t look.

Lady 1 (Mom): [cries]

Joe Cruz: [grunts]

                 Grab his legs.

Otis Zvonecek: He’s conscious but barely.

Lady 1 (Mom): Taye! [cries]

Chief Boden: Okay, okay. Okay.

Lady 1 (Mom): [cries]

Joe Cruz: Grab his legs.

Lady 1 (Mom): Taye.

Leslie Shay: Let’s board him quickly.

Chief Boden: Hold on to me.

Lady 1 (Mom): [sobs]

Gabby Dawson: One, two, three.

                                                  [grunting]

Gabby Dawson: You the mother?

Lady 1 (Mom): Yes.

Gabby Dawson: You can ride in the back with me. Let’s go.

Chief Boden: Go on.

                                                cutscene

Gabby Dawson: I’ll be right back.

                            What have you heard?

Lady 1 (Mom): Um… the doctor says it looks bad. It’s a

                          damaged windpipe, so his brain was…

                          without oxygen.

Gabby Dawson: Well, they’ve got great surgeons here. They’ll

                             do everything they can.

Lady 1 (Mom): You know… Taye has been to your firehouse.

Gabby Dawson: Oh yeah?

Lady 1 (Mom): Yeah. His whole class went on a field trip last fall

                          when the school year started. It was all he could

                          talk about for days [chuckles] [sniffs]

                          He said he wants to be a fireman, help people.

Gabby Dawson: That’s… that’s sweet.

Lady 1 (Mom): [sniffs] Gangs are always calling, but he won’t bite.

                         He’s gonna be straight and narrow, and I believe

                         that.

Gabby Dawson: I’m sure he will.

Lady 1 (Mom): [sniffles] Thank you.

                                               cutscene

Matt Casey: You gotta be kidding me.

Mouch: I don’t know if I can handle another season like the

              last one.

Christopher Herrmann: Hope springs eternal.

Mouch: Hope never met a Sox September.

Otis Zvonecek: Yeah, well at least you guys have a series win

                           in the last century. Try being a Cubs fan.

Christopher Herrmann: There’s plenty of room on the

                                         bandwagon if you want to move to

                                         the south side.

Otis Zvonecek: Yeah. What are you, Pouch? You Cubs or Sox,

                           huh?

Christopher Herrmann: Look at her feet. She’s definitely a

                                         White Sox fan.

Joe Cruz: Guys, put a cork in it. I’m trying to listen to the

                 Hawk.

Mouch: Saikensha wa saimusha yori kioku yoshi.

Otis Zvonecek: What does that mean?

Matt Casey: Hey, if they score, come get me.

Otis Zvonecek: [muttering] Saikensha… Sai…

Chief Boden: Hey Lieutenant. I want to bring you up to speed

                       on what Kelly’s just filled me in on.

Kelly Severide: I’m gonna push to fast-track Peter Mills to

                          Squad. The youngest anyone’s every made

                          it was 23.

Matt Casey: You.

Kelly Severide: I think Mills can break the record. And I talked

                          to Chief Walker over at District, and he thinks it

                          would be great for CFD morale.

Matt Casey: Is that what you think, Chief? Great for morale?

Chief Boden: As long as he qualifies.

Matt Casey: Well, sounds like you guys have all the answers.

                                              cutscene

Peter Mills: You wanted to see me, Chief?

Chief Boden: As you’re aware, Lieutenant Severide thinks

                       that you’ll make a strong addition to Rescue

                       Squad.

                                          [door closes]

Peter Mills: Yes.

Chief Boden: I just want to hear your take on it.

Peter Mills: I’m gonna bust my ass to make it happen.

Chief Boden: Why?

Peter Mills: I’m sorry?

Chief Boden: Why’s it so important to you?

Peter Mills: ‘Cause I want to be an elite firefighter, sir.

Chief Boden: And this has got nothing to do with your

                       father?

Peter Mills: No, sir.

                    This has nothing to do with what my father did

                     or did not do with his time at the CFD. This is

                     about me

Chief Boden: Well, since you’ve been here you’ve put on ten

                        pounds. Which, from where I sit, doesn’t look

                        like a candidate willing to bust his ass.

                        [slurps]

                                             [door closes]

Gabby Dawson: Hey, how’s it going?

Peter Mills: Been better.

Gabby Dawson: You need me to take care of someone? Give

                             me a name.

Peter Mills: Not now.

                                               cutscene

Matt Casey: Heather Darden and me, we’re just friends. She

                      came over to talk and fell asleep on my couch.

Kelly Severide: Right. Got it.

Matt Casey: I don’t know what you want me to say here.

Kelly Severide: I saw what I saw, Casey. Sell your clean whistle

                          act to someone else, ‘cause I ain’t buying.

Matt Casey: You can’t imagine you might be wrong about

                      something, can you?

Kelly Severide: I can imagine a lot of things, just not the idea

                          of you rolling around with Andy’s widow.

Matt Casey: Come on.

Kelly Severide: Explain to me why Heather barely talks to me,

                          but she’ll sleep with you, even though you’re

                          the guy who put her husband through that

                          window?

                                            [gunshots]

                                            [shouting]

                                       [glass shattering]

Firefighter: Get down!

                    Get down!

                                            [gunshots]

Christopher Herrmann: What the hell is going on in here?

                                        [tires squealing]

Chief Boden: You okay?

Kelly Severide: Yeah.

Chief Boden: Casey, are you okay?

Matt Casey: Yeah.

Chief Boden: What the hell is going on here, Detective? This

                        has always been a neighbourhood house.

Man 1 (Det. Ben Vikan): You tell me. No run-ins recently? No

                                         fires where one of your guys tried to

                                         pop off to the local…

Chief Boden: No.

Christopher Herrmann: We’re not cops. People are happy to

                                         see a firefighter show up.

Man 1 (Det. Ben Vikan): Could this be Voight related?

Matt Casey: Voight?

Man 1 (Det. Ben Vikan): When it comes to gang violence, the

                                         man has a long reach. He’s got a

                                         dismissal hearing soon.

Matt Casey: Not like Voight to stir up the nest if he’s trying to

                      free himself.

Joe Cruz: Man, why don’t you pick up one of these bangers

                  for something small and trade the bust for what

                  they know about the shooters?

Man 1 (Det. Ben Vikan): Corner boys in this neighbourhood

                                         are good. We can’t catch them with

                                         the drugs and make the bust stick.

                                         We’ll keep our ears to the ground.

                                         In the meantime, I’ll make sure we

                                         have a conspicuous police presence

                                         around the station.

Chief Boden: Meaning what?

Man 1 (Det. Ben Vikan): Put a special detail on it. Squad

                                         outside. Officer posted in the 

                                         house.

Firefighters: [muttering in disagreement]

Chief Boden: Well, that’s fine. So long as the men are safe.

Otis Zvonecek: [sighs]

Chief Boden: What?

Christopher Herrmann: Cops in the house is a bad precedent.

                                        Sends a message to the good residents

                                        around here that… we’re not a safe

                                        haven.

Mouch: You rather have one of us be killed?

Christopher Herrmann: Of course not.

Chief Boden: We will let the police handle their business, and

                        we… will handle ours.

Joe Cruz: [sighs]

                                          cutscene

                                [police radio chatter]

Otis Zvonecek: Never seen anything like this before.

Joe Cruz: So much for being the neighbourhood’s house.

                                     [engine starts]

                                   [dramatic music]

                                         cutscene

Lady 2 (Barista): Here you go.

Leslie Shay: Thanks.

Kelly Severide: Thanks.

Leslie Shay: Yeah.

Kelly Severide: Hey, any word on that kid pulled out of the

                           laundry chute?

Leslie Shay: I haven’t heard anything yet.

                      Hey, what’s going on with you and Casey? It

                      seemed like…

Kelly Severide: Oh, I don’t… I don’t want to talk about Casey.

Leslie Shay: Okay, fine. We’ll just enjoy watching you two

                      mark your territory.

Kelly Severide: Ah…

Leslie Shay: So what do you want to talk about?

Kelly Severide: So how would this work? With the, um…

                           insemination?

Leslie Shay: Well… basically, you know, I’d get a hormone

                      injection once a day for 12 days to boost

                      ovulation, then we’d go to a clinic where they

                      have rooms set aside for collection. Meaning

                      you know, they give you magazines or

                      whatever and you go in and do your business.

Kelly Severide: I mean, I get that part

                                         [chuckling]

Kelly Severide: How much does it cost?

Leslie Shay: Uh, all-in, 10 grandish.

Kelly Severide: 10 grand, are you serious?

Leslie Shay: Yeah.

Kelly Severide: You have that kind of cash?

Leslie Shay: I’m gonna stretch some card limits and cobble

                      it together.

Kelly Severide: I’m in.

                                            [laughter]

                                            cutscene

Christopher Herrmann: What?

Mouch: You picked him up first?

Christopher Herrmann: Just get in.

Mouch: Now I gotta stare at the back of your head for an

              hour?

Christopher Herrmann: Yeah.

Mouch: Guess it’s better than getting shot at at the

              firehouse.

Boden & Herrmann: [laughs]

                                               [laughter]

Chief Boden: So I come home, try to climb in through the

                        window, but it’s shut. It’s locked.Oh, okay. I

                        thought I got a clean getaway, but no. Now

                        I gotta go around and ring on the damn

                        doorbell.

                                                [laughter]

Chief Boden: My old man, he’s just sitting in his chair.

                       Waiting for me. For hours.

Mouch: 3 o’clock in the morning.

Chief Boden: Alcohol on my breath

Mouch: Ooh! [laughs]

Chief Boden: He just stares at me, hard as nails. He says,

                       “boy, you got four choices where you’re going

                        to college… Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines…

                        pick one.”

Mouch: Wow.

Chief Boden: [scoffs]

Christopher Herrmann: At least your old man gave a damn.

Mouch: Oh, Bill Herrmann wasn’t so bad. I’m friends with

              Chris’s older brother, Larry. Your dad would throw

               the ball with us when he was home.

Christopher Herrmann: Larry did not disappoint him the way

                                         that I did.

Chief Boden: You never told me about your dad.

Christopher Herrmann: Aw, sold luggage to department

                                        stores all over the Midwest. He

                                        was on the road more than he

                                         was home.

Chief Boden: Is that right?

Christopher Herrmann: He wanted me to chase him into

                                         the business like my brother

                                         Larry did, so naturally I took the

                                         fireman’s test.

                                               [chuckling]

Christopher Herrmann: They got this whole thing…

                                         Larry and my dad.

                                         I don’t talk to him that much

                                         anymore.

Mouch: You should call him.

Christopher Herrmann: I should. It’d be that much worse

                                         when he didn’t call me back.

                                            cutscene

Gabby Dawson: [panting]

Peter Mills: What are you doing here?

Gabby Dawson: Maybe being quiet and keeping to

                            yourself is how it works in the Mills

                            family, but that’s not how the Dawsons

                             Dawsons do it.

Peter Mills: Is that so?

Gabby Dawson: Look, if you want to fly solo, you better do it

                             in bed with your eyes closed, okay? But if

                             you want to train for Squad, you better get

                             ready to talk while you run, ‘cause I’m

                             coming with you.

                             Hey. I want to be a part of whatever comes your

                             way.

Peter Mills: Well, then you better tie your shoes first.

Gabby Dawson: Oh!

Peter Mills: [laughs]

Gabby Dawson: [laughs] Oh I’m gonna get you!

                                          cutscene

Chief Boden: This is the right time, right?

Christopher Herrmann: Paper said 3:30.

                             [organ playing in background]

Christopher Herrmann: Excuse me, is this the Pritchard

                                         funeral?

Man 2 (Mortician): Yes. Yes, we’re about to get underway.

Christopher Herrmann: Oh.

Man 2 (Mortician): Have a seat.

Mouch: Thanks.

Chief Boden: Thanks.

Christopher Herrmann: Are you kidding me with this? Didn’t

                                         he have, like, five sons?

Mouch: Yeah.

Christopher Herrmann: Where’s his family?

Man 3 (Preacher): Welcome, friends. We’re all here today not

                                to grieve but to celebrate the life of…

                                John Aaron Pritchard. Matthew 5:4 says,

                                “Blessed are they who mourn for they

                                shall be comforted.”

Mouch: Let’s get outta here.

Chief Boden: Amen.

Christopher Herrmann: So, like, I mean, that’s it? I mean

                                         what… half a dozen people, and

                                         no family, and a preacher who

                                         doesn’t even know his name

                                         without looking at the program?

                                         And where’s the truck with a half-

                                         raised ladder and salute to a fallen

                                         firefighter?

Chief Boden: Chris…

Christopher Herrmann: No, I’m serious. What’s my funeral

                                         gonna be like when I kick it? Or

                                         yours, Mouch, huh?

Mouch: Doubt I’ll care.

Christopher Herrmann: All the same, he deserved a funeral

                                         with respect for all of his service.

                                         And just because he waited a dozen

                                         years to die and moved out to the

                                         sticks doesn’t mean that he wasn’t a

                                         hero.

Chief Boden: Let’s go.

Mouch: Shotgun!

Christopher Herrmann: This… this ain’t right! Grr!

                                               cutscene

                               [indistinct police radio chatter]

Matt Casey: Any word on the shooters?

Uniformed Cop: Nada.

Matt Casey: How was the funeral?

Christopher Herrmann: What’s worse than terrible? It

                                         was that.

Peter Mills: [groans]

Otis Zvonecek: What?

Peter Mills: Oven’s busted.

Christopher Herrmann: What? Blender is too.

                                                [buzzing]

Joe Cruz: Bad news. Remember that kid from last shift?

                  Trapped in the laundry chute?

Otis Zvonecek: Yeah?

Joe Cruz: Didn’t make it.

Gabby Dawson: He came here, this kid. He was here on a

                            class field trip.

                            He told his mom he wanted to be a fireman

                            when he got home.

Peter Mills: Wow, I recognise him. It was my first day. You

                    guys had me give the tour.

Otis Zvonecek: [exhales] Man I remember that.

Joe Cruz: Funeral’s on Friday.

Christopher Herrmann: Hey pop, it’s Christopher. Just…

                                         checking in. I know it’s been a

                                         while, and… anyway just call

                                         me back.

                                                 cutscene

Kelly Severide: You know what the worst part is?

Matt Casey: What is the worst part, Kelly?

Kelly Severide: That you don’t have enough sack to

                           admit you’re sleeping with Heather.

                           At least come clean.

Matt Casey: Keep walking. I’m done explaining myself.

Kelly Severide: You haven’t explained a damn thing!

                           That’s the point!

Matt Casey: ‘Cause you’re wrong!

                      Don’t come up on me again like this.

Kelly Severide: Really?

Chief Boden: What the hell is going on here?

                        In my office, now.

                                           [object clatters]

Chief Boden: We’ve been here before. Almost tore

                        this house apart.

Kelly Severide: This time, it’s different.

Chief Boden: Tell me about it.

Kelly Severide: Yeah, Casey, tell him about it.

Matt Casey: No offense, Chief.

                                          [door shuts]

                                            cutscene

Leslie Shay: So what do you think about the whole

                      Casey/Heather thing?

Gabby Dawson: Uh… I don’t know.

Leslie Shay: Hmm. You haven’t asked him?

Gabby Dawson: We’ve said like two sentences to each

                            other in a month.

                            Hey, what’s your name?

Man 4: Phillip.

Gabby Dawson: [laughs] All right, let’s get you up, Phillip.

                            Come on.

                            Here we go [groans]

Leslie Shay: Whoa!

Gabby Dawson: [chuckles]

Leslie Shay: Phillip, that is not the kind of full moon I was

                      expecting to see today.

Gabby Dawson: [laughs]

Leslie Shay: Come on.

Gabby Dawson: Here we go.

Leslie Shay: All right, keep your pants up.

Gabby Dawson: Whew! So Severide’s, uh, little swimmers,

                             huh?

Leslie Shay: Yeah.

Gabby Dawson: And who’s paying for this?

Leslie Shay: [sighs] I don’t know.

Gabby Dawson: You know, there’s another, cheaper alternative.

Leslie Shay: Oh, come on.

Gabby Dawson: What? I’m just saying.

Leslie Shay: Oh boy.

Gabby Dawson: Nature has already worked out a lot of these

                            details.

                            Come on. Oh!

                                      [engine revving]

                                      [tires squealing]

                                       [horn beeping]

Leslie Shay: (into radio) I need a 10-1 to East Van Buren, now!

Dispatcher: (over radio) What’s the nature of the call?

Leslie Shay: (into radio) Someone’s stealing our ambulance!

                                       [horn beeping]

                                     [tires screeching]

Gabby Dawson: Hey!

Man 5 (Thief): What the hell?

Gabby Dawson: Pull over!

Man 5 (Thief): Shut up!

Gabby Dawson: You can’t steal an ambulance!

Man 5 (Thief): I said shut up!

Gabby Dawson: Listen to me, moron!

Man 5 (Thief): Quit talking to me!

                                     [horn honking]

Gabby Dawson: This ambulance has GPS. They can track us in

                             the city so they know where we’re at at all

                             times. When you hear the beep that means

                             that they’re about to shut down the engine!

Man 5 (Thief): What are you talking about?

Gabby Dawson: They’re gonna turn off the engine, lock up the

                             tires, and send your face flying through the

                             windshield.

                                       [sirens approaching]

Man 5 (Thief): That ain’t true!

                                      [police sirens wailing]

Gabby Dawson: Here it comes!

                                               [beeping]

Gabby Dawson: You should buckle up!

                                       [beeping continues]

Man 5 (Thief): Damn it!

                                         [tires screeching]

Gabby Dawson: [heavy breathing]

Man 5 (Thief): [groans]

                                            [siren whoops]

Gabby Dawson: Somebody call for an ambulance?

Leslie Shay: Come on, Philip.

                                                 cutscene

Leslie Shay: Hey.

Kelly Severide: Hey.

                                             [door closes]

Leslie Shay: [clears throat] I know this may not be the best time,

                      um, but I have a new proposal. So please don’t

                      say anything or make any funny faces.

Kelly Severide: Okay.

Leslie Shay: Okay. Uh… I can’t afford the insemination. So I’ve

                      been thinking about Plan B. And I propose…

                      when the time is right, you go into your room with

                      magazines or Skinemax or whatever you need to

                      get yourself ready. And then with the lights out,

                      you signal me by calling out my name once. You’ll

                      hear your door open, footsteps. And… and then

                      you’ll be mounted. You will finish your business

                      inside of me as quickly and efficiently as possible.

                      And then I’ll be out the door, so you can clean up

                      or whatever you need to do. At which point, I will

                      need to be alone. Most likely to cry. And we will

                      never speak of this to anyone ever [chuckles] for

                      the rest of our lives. And… I thank you for

                      listening. Just think about it.

                                         [door shuts]

                                           cutscene

Gabby Dawson: [sighs]

                                      [phone buzzing]

Gabby Dawson: Here we go. Here we go.

                            Sit. Sit.

Mouch: What the hell are you doing?

Christopher Herrmann: I’m not standing near any windows.

Mouch: Well, it ain’t exactly easy to watch the ballgame with

              you staring back at me.

              You think the shooters are going to text you before

               they open fire?

Christopher Herrmann: I broke down and called my old

                                         man. I got nothing back.

Otis Zvonecek: [sighs] Mills, what’s for lunch?

Peter Mills: Oh, um, I was bringing in some beef tips but I

                     don’t think they’re gonna taste that good raw,

                     so, uh, we can do some pimento cheese

                     sandwiches…

Joe Cruz: How about Al’s beef?

Peter Mills: Okay, all right. We’ll do Al’s beef.

Matt Casey: Call it in.

Peter Mills: I will. All right.

Mouch: Oh Otis!

Otis Zvonecek: Yeah?

Mouch: Uh, saikensha wa saimusha yori kioku yoshi.

Otis Zvonecek: Seriously, up yours, Mouch.

Mouch: [chuckles] Hey, you know who knows how to

              translate that? Andrew Jackson [laughs]

Chief Boden: Dawson, where’s Shay?

Gabby Dawson: Uh, I don’t know.

Chief Boden: This is Tara Little. She’s a candidate. She’s

                       gonna be riding along with you guys for the

                       next few shifts for evaluation.

Gabby Dawson: Cool.

Lady 3 (Tara Little): Hey, so nice to meet you. I’ve heard

                                 a lot about you.

Gabby Dawson: Oh, don’t pay any attention to what these

                            guys have to say. Especially Frick and

                            Frack over here.

Lady 3 (Tara Little): Oh, which one’s Frick?

Gabby Dawson: [chuckles] Come on.

Matt Casey: What’s that?

Peter Mills: Oh, it’s… yeah I keep the cooking club cash

                     hidden here. That-that’s cool, right?

Matt Casey: Yeah. Yeah it-it’s fine. I’ll get the food.

Peter Mills: No, I don’t mind. I’ll grab it.

Matt Casey: I got it.

                                      [car door shuts]

Matt Casey: I want to talk to whoever’s in charge.

Young Man 1 (Dealer): Nah, get back in your truck.

Matt Casey: Not a cop. Not armed.

Young Man 1 (Dealer): Nah man, get back in your truck.

Matt Casey: I just want to talk.

                                 [game sounds on TV]

Young Man 1 (Dealer): [clears throat]

                                         [door closes]

Matt Casey: You in charge?

Young Man 2 (Greshawn): Who wants to know?

Matt Casey: My name’s Casey. I’m the Lieutenant at

                      Firehouse 51 down the street.

Young Man 2 (Greshawn): So?

Matt Casey: Someone tried to pop a couple shots into our

                      house in broad daylight. Could have killed

                      someone. Someone who works to protect

                      this neighbourhood every single day. Now I

                      know why. You guys hide your drugs in the

                      hydrants, don’t you?

                      Look, we have to flush those hydrants twice

                      a year. Otherwise one of these buildings is

                      on fire… yours maybe. It burns down

                      because there’s no water in our hoses. You

                      know, I’m not stupid enough to think that

                       you’re gonna give up selling your junk

                       because I come in here, but I’m telling you,

                       you hide it in the hydrants, it’s gonna get

                       flushed.

Young Man 2 (Greshawn): You done?

Matt Casey: No. Like it or not, we all gotta coexist here,

                      right? This is our neighbourhood. You

                      don’t own it.

                                          [door closes]

                                             cutscene

Leslie Shay: Hey. Guess what?

Kelly Severide: What’s up?

Leslie Shay: Well, my dad just called. He’s gonna pay

                      for the insemination. Says he was

                      worried that he’d never be a grandpa.

Kelly Severide: That’s great.

Leslie Shay: Yeah. So you know, back to Plan A.

                                           cutscene

                                [indistinct radio chatter]

Otis Zvonecek: You know what? Fine.

Mouch: Saikensha wa saimusha yori kioku yoshi.

              Creditors have better memories than

              debtors.

                                        [train passing]

Mouch: Hey, Lieutenant, okay if we make a quick

              stop. Won’t take long, I promise.

Matt Casey: Sure.

Mouch: Cruz, take a right here.

Matt Casey: This is the right place?

Mouch: This is it.

Christopher Herrmann: Aw, come on Mouch. What

                                        is this?

Mouch: Just wait. I want you to see this.

Christopher Herrmann: Yeah.

Man 6: Randy! How are you?

Mouch: What do you say, Larry?

Man 6 (Larry Herrmann): Good to see you man. Hey.

                                           Chris.

Christopher Herrmann: Hey, Larry, how you been?

Man 6 (Larry Herrmann): You’re not getting away with

                                           a handshake. Come here,

                                           little brother.

Christopher Herrmann: Yeah, good to see you.

Man 6 (Larry Herrmann): [chuckles] All right.

                                           Hey.

Christopher Herrmann: Hey. Wow you guys have grown.

Man 6 (Larry Herrmann): Yeah. How long has it been since

                                           you’ve been here?

Christopher Herrmann: I… don’t remember. Uh, dad around?

Man 6 (Larry Herrmann): No, he’s in Boston. He’s supposed

                                           to be selling socks to Filene’s

                                           basement, but he’s probably

                                           already in line for bleacher seats at

                                           Fenway. Randy called and said you

                                           were down about dad. So come on.

                                           There’s something you should see.

Man 6 (Larry Herrmann): You should hear him talk about his

                                           son the firefighter. I can’t get him

                                           to shut up about it.

                                                  cutscene

                                          [dishes clattering]

Chief Boden: Okay.

                        Mrs Leppert.

Lady 1 (Mom/Mrs Leppert): Chief.

                                                Hello. I’m sorry to bother you.

Chief Boden: No, not at all. We’re all very sorry about your

                       son.

Lady 1 (Mom/Mrs Leppert): Thank you. You may know he was

                                                here once. And… he wanted to

                                                be a fireman ever since. Anyway,

                                                he would have been happy to

                                                know you guys were there at the

                                                end. And he would have wanted

                                                you to have this. Thank you for

                                                what you do in this

                                                neighbourhood.

Chief Boden: Thank you.

                        We owe this kid. We owe Taye better than this.

                         We are better than this.

                                              [somber music]

Christopher Herrmann: I have an idea.

Chief Boden: Ten-hut!

Chief Boden: Present arms!

                                               - end -

Definitions:

Saikensha wa saimusha yori kioku yoshi = Creditors have better memories than debtors

Hope springs eternal = Said when you continue to hope that something will happen, although it seems unlikely

10-1 = Fireman/firemen needs emergency help

Frick and Frack = English slang term used to refer to two people so closely associated as to be indistinguishable

Filene’s Basement = Department store company

Ten-hut = Come to attention!

#Chicago Fire #Chicago fire department #One Chicago #chicago fire imagine #chicago fire script #CFD #matt casey #jesse spencer #Kelly Severide #taylor kinney #Christopher Herrmann #david eigenberg #mouch #christian stolte #otis zvonecek #brian zvonecek #Yuri Sardarov #joe cruz #joe minoso #peter mills #Charlie Barnett #gabby dawson #Gabriela Dawson #Monica Raymund #chief boden #wallace boden #eamonn walker #Leslie Shay #Lauren German #trigger warning

[the--highlanders]

Trapped

Trapped in a cell, Jamie has to decide whether to trust someone he would usually consider an enemy. 

on ao3.

He tumbled into the cell to land on his knees, though the cold masked most of the sting of the stone floor scraping against his skin. There was nothing but darkness around him, so thick and viscous it could have been liquid, like the inky depths of a loch in winter. Full of nasty, teethy things with greedy eyes. It was so dark, he realised with a shudder, that he had no way of telling where the walls were. For all he knew, they were right by his sides, pressing in on him, and he wrapped his arms around himself. If he did not reach out, then he could not touch the walls and have all his fears confirmed.

But the clang of the door closing behind him echoed too long and too loud for the cell to be so small. Stumbling to his feet, he reached down to brush at his knees, wincing when the raw skin burned at his touch and his fingers came back sticky and wet. Not the worst thing that could have happened, he supposed. He had put up with far worse than this before. And the Doctor would come soon, he told himself with as much conviction as he could muster – which was not particularly much, if he was honest with himself. Even so, the Doctor had to come. As soon as he heard Jamie had been locked up, he would be storming into the place, demanding to know why.

That was a question Jamie himself was quite keen to know the answer to. There had been no warning, nothing out of the ordinary. He had simply bent to help up a child that had been knocked to the ground – a perfectly ordinary gesture, he would have imagined. Perhaps shouting at the man who had pushed her over had been unwise. But the next thing he had known, guards had been swarming around him, dragging him off to the prison without so much as a chance to speak with the Doctor. And the Doctor himself had been terribly cagey about just why the Time Lords had sent them here in the first place, vanishing almost as soon as he had managed to convince the Emperor’s attendants that he was some important diplomat. Whatever he was planning, he had given Jamie no clues that might help him work out exactly why he had been arrested.

His eyes were adjusting to the darkness now, and he took a careful step forward. No rough stone wall shot out of the darkness for him to hit his head against, so he took another step, leaning forward like it might help him see better. He could just make out the seam where the floor met the walls, a blacker line against the shades of grey that marked out the dips and cracks on every surface. The cell was not as small as he had feared, but not as large as he might have wished, either, and for the first time he was glad of the dark. If he tilted his head and half-closed his eyes, he could pretend that it was bigger than it really was, and fend off that nasty lump in his throat a little better.

Which worked quite well until he heard it.

A great, rattling, gasping sound, wheezing out from the other side of the cell.

And then, if he looked closely, there was a shape, too, an enormous mound perched on a little shelf carved out of the wall. He squinted at it, bobbing his head from side to side as he tried to get the measure of it. Whoever – whatever – was there, it would have been twice his height if it stood up like a human. Some kind of trap? he wondered, his heart thundering in his throat with such determination that he was almost sickened by it. A way of getting rid of him? Or another prisoner?

Well, it looked calm enough, and he had already given it ample opportunity to strike. Stretching out one hand, he crept forward. “Hello?” His voice was more hoarse than he would have liked, barely more than a whisper. “Is someone there?”

The thing was still for a moment, and he wondered if it was not a living thing after all, just some strange outcrop of rock. But then it shifted, as slowly and jerkily as if it was breaking itself away from the wall – and sat up, revealing a hulking silhouette that was somehow both human and inhuman in all the worst ways.

“Yes.” Its voice was less of a whisper and more of a long, drawn-out hiss, and Jamie’s blood ran cold. Colder even than whatever liquid ran through the veins of the creature itself, he was sure. “I am here.”

Ice Warrior, Jamie thought, every inch of his skin prickling with terror. It had been a trap after all. And there he was, a complete and utter fool, waking the thing up. Wheeling around, he fumbled first for the door, then its handle, intending to shake it and scream at the top of his lungs and hope that the Doctor would come soon enough to save him. But there was no handle on the inside, no bars to seize hold of, and he was left scrabbling against it instead, his nails scraping horribly on the door’s smooth metal surface. The Doctor will come, he told himself, with more desperation than ever. The Doctor will come, the Doctor will come.

“It’s no use trying to escape,” the Ice Warrior hissed. “If I couldn’t break the door down, I doubt your small body could.”

Gritting his teeth, Jamie fought the urge to spin back around and snap out some clever retort. But none sprung to mind – and exactly what the Ice Warrior had said was settling into his mind, anyway. If I couldn’t break the door down. Turning around more slowly, he stared over at where the thing still sat. It was quite peaceful, as far as he could see, just sitting there with its strange hands clasped in its lap.

“Ice Warrior,” he gasped out, like everything in his mind had been drained away and replaced with those two words.

“Yes,” it said again. Had it been human, he would have said that there was something like amusement in its voice. But it was not human – was about as far as it could get from being human while still being roughly shaped like one – and he did not even know if Ice Warriors could be amused. For all he knew, it could have been hatred. “You are human.”

“Yes.” Well, whatever the thing was planning on doing to him, it was taking its time. He might as well relax while he waited for it to kill him. The shelf poking out of the wall was bumping against the side of his leg, and he perched himself on the edge of it, hands clasped in his lap to mirror the Ice Warrior. “I didnae know there were any of you – of your people here.”

“There are but few.” The Ice Warrior hung its head. “I am -” It dropped its voice, like it was unsure whether it should be telling him this. “Songar.”

“Songar, aye.” Jamie nodded just a little too emphatically. “Well, I’m Jamie.”

“Ja-mie.” It drawled out his name, batting it around like a cat would a mouse, and a shiver ran through Jamie. Briefly, he wondered whether they were really called Ice Warriors for their love of the cold, or whether it had more to do with the chills they could send through someone’s spine.

“That’s right,” he said cautiously. “What’re you in here for, then?”

A deep, guttural sound emanated out from the other side of the room, all but rumbling the floors in its intensity, and Jamie reached out instinctively to steady himself against the wall. Only after a moment did he realise that it was not an earthquake, but Songar, growling out its disappointment. Their disappointment. “For pointing out injustice,” they said. “My brethren are here to keep the peace at the ambassadors’ meeting. When my peacekeeping required me to criticise an Imperial guard, I was arrested.”

“So...” Jamie frowed. “You’re no’ here tae – conquer the planet or somethin’, then?”

“No.”

Songar ought to have been lying, Jamie thought. It ought to have been some elaborate trick, or another layer to the backstabbing that was going on around them. A crumbling empire trying to shore up its own power, all to be usurped by another empire, one with far greater might. But the note in Songar’s voice could not be anything but genuine disdain. Whatever else was going on, they were telling the truth.

“What happened?” he asked slowly. “When ye were arrested, I mean?”

Another wordless hiss, this time surely in displeasure rather than amusement. “The guards took it upon themselves to disperse the people of the town before the ambassadors arrived. I was not aware that keeping peace meant only forbidding violence to those the empire wishes to keep quiet.”

The town had seemed odd, Jamie thought. He had expected it to be full of life and colour, with banners strung from every window and people leaning out from balconies and rooftops to catch a glimpse of the alien visitors. But it had been quiet, deserted even, and it had been there that the Doctor had first started acting funny. Whatever he had realised, he had realised it in those empty streets.

And then -

The child. The one he had helped up. How had the soldiers been so close at hand? Why had they taken the side of the man who had shoved her down, the one he had shouted at? And why should they have stopped him from making sure she was alright?

There was only one answer to that. The girl had wandered away from home, perhaps – and the guards had come first for her, not for him. Which meant, he supposed, that he and Songar had been thrown into the cell together because they had been arrested for the same reason.

He let himself relax a little, his shoulders dropping. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’ve just never met a – well, I’ve never met an Ice Warrior that didn’t want to kill me.”

Songar spat out a laugh. “Not all humans are the same. Why should we be?”

Jamie was quiet for a moment. “Aye,” he said slowly. “’Spose you’re right.”

“My brethren and I have turned our minds to peace. Our empire has grown enough.”

“Ri-ight.” Jamie bit his lip. Songar’s brute strength might be enough to break them out, he could not deny that. Given time and encouragement, at least. But what then? He still had no idea what the Doctor was planning, even if he thought he knew the wrongs he was trying to fix. What if the Ice Warriors decided that whatever he was doing was against their so-called peacekeeping, too?

But then – the Doctor may not yet know that the Ice Warriors were there, either. Someone would have to warn him.

“If ye broke out,” Jamie began, then faltered. There was nothing to stop Songar from lying through their teeth. “What would ye do then?”

“Return to my people.”

“An’ what would they do?”

“Imperial law prevents our mission. We cannot allow this obstacle to stand.”

No, Jamie thought. It would not be the Ice Warriors trying to stop the Doctor from being too extreme in his measures. It would be the Doctor who would not approve of the Ice Warriors and their undoubtedly brutal methods. “So ye destroy the empire, is that it?”

He had spoken under his breath, and the tilt of Songar’s head was just slight enough that it could almost have been an accident. A pure coincidence of movement, not an admission that Jamie was right. But they both knew what Jamie had said, and both knew what Songar had meant by the motion, and that shared knowledge sat between them, a heavy and oppressive silence.

There was every possibility, of course, that the Doctor had the same objective. In fact, Jamie was almost sure of it. The Time Lords had asked them to oversee the conference, most likely, and then the Doctor had seen the way the Emperor treated the townspeople. Jamie could not imagine that he would be content to leave things the way they were. But whatever he had in mind, it would be nowhere near as violent as the Ice Warriorst. Having the Ice Warriors on their side might be of some use to him. And having the Doctor around to see that the Ice Warriors did not cause too much damage might save a few lives, at least. So perhaps the thing to do was to let Songar try and break them out, to let them rile up the Ice Warriors a bit, and then warn the Doctor what would happen.

And yet there was still the matter of whether or not he could trust an Ice Warrior. Of all the creatures he could have been stuck with, it had to have been one of them. One of the most ruthless species he knew. To trust an Ice Warrior – it was impossible. No matter what Songar said, there was always the possibility that they would kill him as soon as their people had no further use for him. Worse still, there was an even larger possibility that they would do the same to the Doctor, if they found him. Every muscle in his body screaming out its wish to turn away. To wait for the Doctor, and do nothing until he had arrived, and had explained everything.

But the Doctor had not come.

Besides, what would the Doctor do, if he were in the same position? The answer was an obvious one. He would be first in line to imagine that the Ice Warriors were not entirely evil. Perhaps Jamie was close-minded, not to share his optimism.

And whatever else he thought, Songar had been right about one thing. Humans were not all the same. Maybe there was the tiniest of chances that there really were good Ice Warriors.

Slapping his hands against his thighs, he pushed himself to his feet. If the Doctor really was on his way, then he could meet him in the middle. “Come on, then,” he said, as bracingly as he could. “Give us a hand.”

Songar whistled to themselves, something that might have been confusion or amusement or thoughtfulness. “What are you doing?”

Running his fingertips over the door, Jamie paused when he felt a small dip in the metal. It was tiny, invisible to anything but close investigation. Had it been there all along, or had Songar made the dent without noticing? Either way, he thought, it was a weak point. A way out.

“I’m gonnae break out of here,” he said, pounding his fist against his other palm absently. “An’ you’re gonnae help me. Look here.” Heaving themselves to their feet, Songar ambled over, bending down to see what he was pointing at. “I want ye tae hit that dent as hard as ye can, alright?”

Songar nodded, one brief, firm bend of their head before they swung their arm out behind them. The wide arc of their hand narrowly missed Jamie, and he took a hurried step back, waiting with bated breath for the first blow. When it came, it came with a thud, a great hammering of scaly armour against metal. The impact sent sparks skittering out to fade away into the darkness, and Jamie dodged between them to kneel by the door and inspect Songar’s work, his breath catching in his throat when he found the dent again.

A tiny piece of metal had been knocked through to the other side, leaving in its place a gap that was so small he almost missed it – and a single pinprick of light.

#second doctor #fanfic archive #my writing

[musicprincess1990]

Trope duos! 2, 34 please?

2: Bad day turned good; 34: On holiday.

Good Lord, this took forever... I’ve said “I’m sorry” to y’all so much, it’s starting to lose all meaning.  Hope this is enough to earn your forgiveness.  🙏

Taken from this prompt list, keep sending me prompts y’all!  I tried not to make this TFP-related… I didn’t try hard, but I did try.  It just fits so well!

*

Always

Molly swiped at the remaining tears clinging to her face as she pulled up to the quaint coastal inn.  Once parked, she grabbed her hastily-packed bag and checked her reflection one last time.  Well, she mused with a sigh, there's not much I can do about that.  Her eyes were red and puffy, and she had what she suspected might be a pimple forming on her chin. Lovely, she grimaced, then decided she didn’t care, and with a resolute nod, Molly climbed out of the car and made for the lobby.

The concierge looked up as she entered, and his brows furrowed momentarily in concern.  Molly worried he would ask if she was alright—which she was decidedly not—but his features smoothed into a polite smile.  “Welcome, miss.  Checking in?”

“Yes,” she nodded, approaching the desk.  “Molly Hooper.”

He scrolled and clicked a few times on his computer, then asked, “May I have your card, miss?”

Molly set her credit card on the desk, and the concierge swiped and clicked some more, before handing it back to her, along with her key.  “We have you in room six.  Up the stairs, second door on your left.  Enjoy your stay,” he added with another smile.

“Thanks,” she breathed, and quickly made her way up the stairs.  Room six was fairly small, but had a decent-sized bed and a private bathroom, and was decorated in a homey cottage style.  She dropped her bag unceremoniously by the door, rested her back against it, and slid down to the floor in a boneless heap, smiling for the first time in more than twenty-four hours.  At last!

After a few minutes on the floor, not moving, not thinking, just being, Molly got up and crossed over to the bathroom, readying herself for bed.  She took a bath, soaking in the hot water for perhaps longer than necessary, then trudged back over to the bed, plopping gracelessly onto it, not even bothering to put on her pyjamas.  She was alone, after all... always alone.

No! she told herself sternly.  This holiday is not about self pity!  With a resolute nod to herself, she curled up in bed, delighting in the feel of the soft, cool sheets against her bare skin.  It took only a few minutes for her heart to slow down, her breath along with it, and her mind to surrender to a peaceful sleep.

*

Molly’s next awareness was the sound of waves crashing and seagulls calling from outside her open window.  Odd, she thought.  She couldn’t remember it being open before, and she was certain she hadn’t opened it.  As she slowly gained more and more consciousness, she became aware of other strange things.  Such as the warmth against her back, the weight of something draped over her abdomen, and the soft puff of air against her neck.

Her eyes snapped open, first taking in the ceiling, then turning to her right to see a sleeping Sherlock Holmes lying on top of the covers beside her.  He was fully dressed, complete with Belstaff, and smelled a bit like a bog.

“What the hell...?” she whispered.

“Not quite the reaction I’d hoped for,” he said, startling her, before opening one sea green eye to look at her.

Groaning in exasperation, Molly moved to get up, but remembered at the last second that she was nude beneath the blankets.  Oh, God...

“Close your eyes,” she grumbled at him, and a wrinkle appeared between his brows.  “I’m not dressed, and I refuse to talk to you until I am, so close your eyes and turn your back while I get dressed.”

He rolled his eyes, but obediently closed them, covering them with his hand for good measure.  Molly slid out of bed and grabbed the first things she could get her hands on, which turned out to be a pair of skull-pattern knickers and a Doctor Who tee-shirt.  She decided to forego a bra and trousers, her curiosity winning over her desire to punish him for showing up unannounced.

“Okay,” she mumbled, sitting on the bed again.

Whatever she’d expected to see in those lovely eyes of his as he removed his hand, it certainly wasn’t the intense remorse and almost reverence in them now.  Sherlock sat up, his gaze never straying from her.  She felt as if she were under a microscope, and started to fidget with the hem of her tee-shirt.

“I am so sorry, Molly,” he finally said.  “I never... it was not my intent to hurt you.  Please believe that, if nothing else.”

Molly gnawed on her lip.  “Then what was your intent?”

He took a slow breath, releasing it just as slowly.  “To save you from yet another psychopath who threatened your life.”

An ice-cold shudder moved down her spine at his words.  “What?”

“You’re not actually in danger,” he hurriedly assured her.  “I only thought you were, and I had to make you say it to save your life.”

Perhaps she ought to have been upset that the only reason for this emotional upheaval was a perceived threat.  Perhaps she should make him miserable, giving him a taste of his own medicine, as it were, not offering her forgiveness until he begged.  But she couldn’t do that.  She loved him too much, and she knew that, in his own way, Sherlock did care for her.  He cared enough to go to desperate lengths to save her, and that, she had to admit, was rather a high compliment.

“I believe you,” she said quietly.  “And I forgive you.”

He must have expected the rage she had dismissed, because he sat there gaping, mouth open—buffering, as John called it.  “You... just like that?”

Molly frowned at him.  “Sorry, did you want me to shout and carry on?”

“No!” he blurted, then scrunched his face up in annoyance at himself.  “No, but I thought... I expected...”

With a rush of uncharacteristic boldness, Molly put a hand on his arm.  His eyes shot immediately to her hand, but he didn’t flinch, which she decided was a good sign.  “Sherlock, I know you.  I know what you used to be, and I know who you are now.  I know that you would never intentionally hurt the people you care about, and I know that I am one of those people.”  She took a breath, steeling herself.  “I know you don’t love me the same way I love you, but the way that you love me... it’s enough.”

“No,” he shook his head, and she reared back in surprise.  “No, you’re wrong.”  He shifted so that his hand held hers.  “I’m not... I don’t really... this isn’t my area,” he finally stammered out.  “I’ve avoided romantic entanglements for so long, told myself I didn’t want... didn’t need...”

Molly couldn’t remember a time she had seen him so inarticulate.  Words came easily to him, powerful words, eloquent words... sometimes hurtful words.  But now, he seemed at a loss, and something told her that was important.

When he spoke again, it was almost under his breath.  “I’ve been a bloody fool.”  His eyes lifted to hers, and his throat worked down a swallow.  He was actually nervous.  “An absolute idiot to have missed what was right in front of me... what has been there since I met you.”

She anxiously liked her lips, her insides twisting in anticipation, and was it her imagination, or was he moving closer? “What has been there?” she prompted breathlessly.

Now he was definitely moving closer, and the hand that wasn’t holding hers reached up and touched her face.  When he was near enough that she could feel his breath on her face, he finally replied in a whisper, “Sentiment.”

And then their lips met.  Molly’s entire body trembled, and she gripped him for support.  His other hand joined the first, cradling her head, tilting her head to allow him to deepen the kiss.  She felt as if she might burst with the sensory overload, and clung to him tighter, a silent plea to not let her go.  And it seemed he was more than willing to comply. As her fingers buried themselves in his hair, his arms circled her waist, pulling her as close as possible.

When oxygen finally became a necessity, their lips parted, and Molly gazed in wonder at him.  The beautiful blue-green iris was merely a thin ring around a wide, black pupil, and as she slid her hand along his neck, she could feel the frantic pulse in his carotid artery beneath her fingers.

“I love you,” he said abruptly, unbidden, and unashamed.  “I’ll say it as many times as you want me to, it’ll always be true.”

She grinned at him, touching his forehead with hers.  “Always?”

With a tender smile that she would forever think of as her smile, he replied, “Always.”

*

(I accidentally posted this before I finished it. Here’s the completed work!)

#sherlolly #sherlolly fanfiction #my writing #sherlolly trope duos #sherlolly prompts #send all the prompts #thank you juldooz!

[rainofaugustsith]

Fanfic

More world-building with Viri’s parents, rattling around in my head. In this snippet, Viri encounters one of her mother’s exes.  Yes, I borrowed a line from Rogue One. You’ll know it when you see it. 

3638 BBY, Makeb

“Lord Wrath, with all due respect, you’re not listening.” Dr. Naerx of the Imperial Science Bureau has worked with many Sith. Many Moffs. But this one is pissing him off. 

Viri crosses her arms and sets her jaw. “I am listening. I comprehend exactly what you are telling me. You do not understand that I do not find it to be an acceptable solution.” ”It’s the path of least resistance,” Dr. Naerx insists. ”Easiest in the short term,” Viri concedes. “In the long run, it is still not acceptable. You are proposing a so-called solution that would leave the planet with deadly levels of radiation.” ”We could still mine the Isotope-5!” Naerx snaps. ”Yes, as long as we’re willing to sacrifice a mining team every single week from the radiation poisoning,” Viri retorts. “I said no. This is my mission. Your plan is rejected.” On the holos surrounding Viri, the other scientists exhale with relief. ”If you are so sure you know what is best to do, why do you even have us working with you?!”

“My experience is in biochem,” Viri says smoothly. “Physics and geology are not my areas of expertise or training. And even if they were, I’d be a fool to try to save an entire planet on my own.” 

”But you are rejecting our plans!” ”I rejected your plan, Dr. Naerx. The proposals made by Nadrin and our colleagues have been much more helpful. They are not being rejected.” ”I’m relieved to hear that, my lord,” A Dr. Beline speaks up, and Viri turns to her. Beline involuntarily gasps. The Emperor’s Wrath has her mother’s eyes, piercing and inquisitive. ”Are you all right?” Viri, ever perceptive, notices her discomfit. ”Nothing, my lord,” Beline stammers. “You favor your mother, and it caught me by surprise.” ”Did you know my mother?” The Wrath asks, her tone of voice softer. ”Yes, I worked extensively with Dr. Dragoi,” Beline confirms. “A brilliant scientist.” ”If you’re done kissing up to the Wrath, we should get back to work,” Naerx snaps. ”Dr. Naerx, if you intend to continue working on our project, you will need to show respect to me and to your colleagues,” Viri says calmly, casually flexing her hand in view of the holo. “Don’t choke on your own hubris.”

Naerx flushes. “As you wish, my lord.” Viri turns back to the assembled group of scientists. “I think the proposal made by Doctors Beline, Hamre and Vesh has merit and potential. It would still cause tremendous damage, but from what you are saying, once the initial devastation is over it would be safe. I’d like to continue with that line of development.” ”We’ll get to work. We should have something for you tomorrow.” ”Excellent. Thank you all. You are dismissed.” Viri nods and the holos go dark. * Viri rubs her head as she returns to her cabin. The Makeb ground team has done their best to give her, Vette and Jaesa a decent place to stay, but on a dying planet, there’s little that can be provided. As she sinks down on the thin mattress she finds herself wishing for the comfortable surroundings of her own ship. But it’s under heavy guard at the Makeb orbital station, and it would not be safe to attempt to bring it to the surface. Viri’s datapad beeps, and she rolls her eyes. Work is never done when one is the Wrath. There is an anonymous email in her inbox, with the subject line: You should know this. A holo video file is attached. Viri clicks ‘play’ on the video and raises her eyebrow. There’s nothing scandalous here. The video depicts two women, sitting close at a cafe table. One, Viri immediately recognizes, is a much younger Dr. Beline. The other is only seen in profile, her long auburn hair in a tight braid, but when Dr. Beline kisses her, she turns her head and laughs. And she is very obviously Tullia Dragoi. 

Viri’s jaw drops as she watches the rest of the holo. ”What’s the occasion, ladies?” a male voice says off-camera. ”Third anniversary,” Tullia says. “Three very happy years.” Dr. Beline raises a glass to toast Tullia. “Indeed they are.” The holo fades to black and Viri sits back in her seat, dumbfounded. When the door to her cabin opens, she does not even turn around. ”Viri, I got the…are you all right?” Vette waves a hand in front of her face. “Ground control to the Wrath. Come in, Wrath.” ”I’m fine,” Viri says, shaking her head. “I just had a bit of a surprise.” ”What?” ”Look,” Viri presses ‘play’ on the message again. ”Aw, Dr. Beline! And…oh stars, is that your mother?!” ”Yes,”  Viri says quietly. ”She wasn’t…you don’t think she was cheating on your father, or…” ”No, I don’t,” Viri says. “She looks way younger there than I remember her.”

”Who sent this to you?” ”I don’t know. It’s a cloaked message. But it’s obviously someone on our team.” ”They aren’t happy you agreed with Dr. Beline,” Vette observes. “They’re hoping you will turn on her.” ”They obviously don’t know me, do they?” Viri chuckles. “I’ll need to speak to the doctor about it, but this isn’t grounds to turn on her.” * It’s 3 in the morning on Quesh when Dr. Beline’s holo begins to ring insistently. She rolls out of bed and groans. Makeb’s time zone is completely off balance; she has become accustomed to these off-hours calls. ”Beline here,” she says, yawning. “What do you need, Nadrin?” Her eyes fly open when she realizes the caller is the Emperor’s Wrath, staring at her with a curious expression. ”I apologize for calling so late,” Viri says, “But you should know there’s an attempt at subterfuge at hand. Apparently, someone would like me to be angry with you.”

”I’m not sure what you mean…” ”Someone sent this to me anonymously,” Viri shows her the holo.   ”Oh,” Dr. Beline says, her shoulders sagging. “I see. I’m not sure how anyone got that.” ”You may wish to check your security,” Viri says. “The holo said it was your third anniversary. Am I correct in assuming that you and my mother were involved for quite some time?” ”Yes, that is true,” Dr. Beline says. “It was well before she knew your father, if that matters at all.” Viri shrugs. “I thought so. She looks far younger than I remember. How did you meet?”

”We went to college together,” Dr. Beline says. “We helped each other with our dissertations. She was wonderful. She always listened. I don’t think I would have earned my degree without her encouragement.” ”And how long were you together?” ”About four years. Closer to five.” ”What happened? You looked happy, and you obviously shared some interests.” Beline shrugs. “We just drifted. We had different goals. There was no blowout; no dragged out fights. We just…felt that we’d fallen out of love, if that makes sense. We did remain friends. I came to her wedding. She came to mine. She introduced me to my wife, in fact. We corresponded until she…until she passed away. She’d always send holos of you, you know.” ”Was she kind to you?” ”Always.” ”And were you kind to her?”  ”Yes. Always.” ”All right,” Viri says quietly. “I’m not sure why anyone would think that would make me angry. I might not have known you by name, but I was certainly aware that my mother had other relationships before she met my father.” Dr. Beline shrugs again. “Perhaps they are expecting a certain lack of maturity or insight. A poor calculation, in my estimation.”

Viri smiles slightly. “Indeed. I think for both of our sakes, it would be wise not to mention this, or my parents, within earshot of the others. But…it’s actually nice to meet someone who knew them.” Beline nods. “I can understand that. I know my opinion may not matter to you, but I think you should know…they would be so proud of you.” ”I appreciate that,” Viri says, her face unreadable. “Thank you.” ”Is there anything else, my lord?”

”No,” Viri says. “And I know it’s the middle of the night on Quesh. I’ll let you go. But…thank you.” ”Thank you, Lord Wrath.” The holo goes dark. * Back in their cabin on Makeb, Vette and Viri both sit back and exhale. ”I thought that would be awkward. But it wasn’t,” Vette observes. “If I’d met one of my mother’s exes, I don’t know how I’d feel.” ”To be honest, I would have been fine never knowing this particular piece of information. She had a life before she was my mother,” Viri chuckles. “I’m not privvy to that, and I don’t know that I should be.”

“Did you know she liked women too? Like you?” Viri nods. “Yes, that I did know. Although unlike me, she also liked men. Obviously, since she married my father. When I was a kid, she made a point of telling me that whoever I was attracted to, it was fine.” ”Do you think this is going to make things weird with Dr. Beline?” Viri shakes her head. “No. Although I think Naerx’s participation in this project needs to be reconsidered. I have no doubt this pettiness was his doing.” ”You weren’t really going to choke him today, were you?” ”Nah. But he knows I could.” ”Do you really favor your mother? Beline said it, and I wondered.” ”Judge for yourself,” Viri says, pulling her holo-locket out from under her shirt and activating it. A portrait of young Viri and her parents flickers into view. ”Hm,” Vette says, studying the portrait and looking back at Viri. “You get your height from them. Even in this portrait one can tell they’re tall. Your father’s nose. Your mother’s eyes, definitely. And your overall face, it looks a lot like hers.” ”I’m glad I look like them,” Viri says softly, closing the locket.

#Viridana Dragoi #Vette and Viri #fanfiction #fanfic #headcanon incoming

[dailyaudiobible]

09/24/2021 DAB Transcript

Isaiah 43:14-45:10, Ephesians 3:1-21, Psalm 68:1-18, Proverbs 24:1-2

Today is the 24th day of September, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian, it is great to be here with you today as we continue our journey around the sun and through the Bible and we have worked our way all the way, well, we’re kind of in the last quarter I guess, of the book of Isaiah and we’re also working our way through the letter to the Ephesians. So, let's dive in today Isaiah chapter 43 verse 14 through 45 verse 10.

Commentary:

Okay, so I have mentioned that Ephesians, at least as I read it, it's like an ever upward climb to these higher vistas to see further, to see further horizons, to see more and understand more. And it’s not like Paul’s saying in this letter like, things it he hasn't said in other ways, but he's in prison and he is writing this passionately. This vision of what's really going on here, and if we just meditate on it. If we just take it in slowly. It is so huge. So, Paul is talking about revelations that he has received, mysteries that he is received, that have previously been unrevealed and I quote “this mystery is that in Christ Jesus, the Gentiles are fellow heirs, members of the same body, and people who also share in the promise through the gospel.” Well so, previously the understanding that Paul had as a Pharisee is that the Jews are the exclusive people and that's what they think but this revelation, this mystery that has been revealed to Paul that he is preaching, well that touches all of us because most of us are Gentiles. And so, for Paul to say that the mystery that’s been revealed is that through Christ, Gentiles and Jews are fellow heirs, members of the same body, people who share in the same promise through the gospel. What Paul is saying is that this is available to everybody in the world which is huge and for me, a Gentile a overwhelming flow of gratitude. Paul goes on, as if to answer a question like, why would God do that, why, why would He welcome everybody in the world, and I quote Paul again “He did this so that through the church, the multifaceted wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was done according to the eternal purpose that He accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Okay, that's pretty cosmic in its implications. This is saying God, in his goodness and offering you eternal life, opening a way, welcoming you home. This makes His wisdom known and we are like a living witness, a living display to the unseen realms, that is huge to contemplate. That is a massive vista to just understand that we are all part of something way bigger than…than we ever pay attention to. Paul says because of all of that, because of this gift and because of what it's doing, in Jesus, we can freely approach God with confidence, through faith in Him. We could say yes, this is a theological formula I’ve known for a very long time but think about that. We can freely approach God, the most high God, with confidence through faith in Him. Let's try to live into this today. Let's try to contemplate, consider, meditate upon, allow it to sink in. Even Paul seems blown away. Even as he is writing it down and he gives kind of a benediction here at the end of our reading and so, let's just let this benediction wash over us as we bask in the goodness of God.

Prayer:

For this reason, I kneel before the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the entire family in heaven and on earth receives its name. I pray that, according to the riches of His glory, He would strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner self, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. Then, being rooted and grounded in love, I pray that you would be able to comprehend, along with all the saints, how wide and long and high and deep His love is, and that you would be able to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled to all the fullness of God. Now to Him, who is able, according to the power that is at work within us, to do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base. That is the website, and it is how you get connected and find out what's going on around here. So certainly, check it out. If you’re using the app you can access these things by pushing the drawer icon in the upper left-hand corner of the app screen in there or on the web, you’ll find the Community section. In the Community section you’ll find different links to the social media channels that the Daily Audio Bible participates in. You will also find the Prayer Wall which is always on and never off and always available. You can always request prayer on the Prayer Wall. You can also, you know, kind of glance through and see where the Spirit may be leading you to pray and pray for your brothers and sisters who are also going through things and give them a word of encouragement. It means so much to know you’re not carrying it alone; it means so much to know that somebody is praying for you and it's a beautiful thing. It's truly a beautiful thing to know that somebody that you may never actually get to meet in person is praying for you by name because we’re the family of God. So, if you haven't ever visited the Prayer Wall, please be aware it's in the Community section either on the app or at the website, so check it out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, thank you humbly, humbly for your partnership. There is a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you are using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is P.O. Box 1996 Springhill, Tennessee 37174.

And as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, that's the little red button up at the top break or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian, I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Prayer and Encouragements:

Hi, Daily Audio Bible, my name is New Eyes and I’m from Chattanooga, Tennessee and I’m calling in for the first time because I was really moved by some prayer requests the other day and I wanted to lift some folks up here in our community. First of all, I would like to thank the Lord for Trent and his encouragement to all of us to be thankful for what we have, I know I definitely need that and I want to lift up Vicki from Southern California and Tammy, who is in remission from ovarian cancer. I really want to lift you ladies up to the Lord, for how much you are just laying at the foot of the cross and trusting God to give you peace in such a hard time. And, I also want to pray for Giovanni whose whole family is sick with the coronavirus. Lord, just bring Your healing, bring Your Holy Spirit and touch Giovanni and his family in this long, frustrating battle with this virus and I just ask that You would bless him. And family, it's my first time calling in and I could really use some prayers this week as I'm sending my 18-year-old son to a youth with a mission discipleship training school in Hawaii and he’s gonna be gone for six months and it's his first time away from home and I'm so excited for him but it's also really hard for this mama. So, if you could lift him up just send him blessings and prayers for an amazing time. I really love this community. You guys are an incredible blessing. Thank you for praying. Keep it up.

Hello Daily Audio family. My name is Sharon I'm calling to ask for prayer for my daughter, Sharon. She's been told she needs open-heart surgery, she's really, we’re really afraid. Each time we speak to a doctor we’re afraid and she starts crying and I start crying. I'm asking that you pray that, pray, send prayers for us that we can get through this situation and come out whole on the other side. I pray with her and I know that God can do all things and I prayed that He will give us the strength, first and foremost, that she doesn't need the surgery and that we will get a second opinion. We just need prayer right now family. Thank you.

Hello my DAB family this is Minnesota Aruka Regina. I haven't talked to you in a while, just want to tell you how much I love you and care about each and every one of you. On September 21st Danielle, I thank you so much for giving us an update on that 19-year-old girl Lord, it just really made me kind of cry and I want to lift her up in prayer. Loving Father, I just am so grateful for You being there for this young 19-year-old gal who was adopted…abducted and violated Father. Thank You for seeing her and for being faithful to find Your precious lost sheep. Lord, I just pray right now that You please speak love into her traumatic soul where she's been hurt and crushed and bruised Lord. I pray that You just reach her heart, let her know that You cried with her in those days that she was gone and it hurts Your spirit. But You were already making a plan for her and You are now helping her. Lord, I pray that You heal her. Let her know that You love her and You care about her and You are a God that can restore Lord. Bring someone into her life that can…can help her to be able to process everything and to break all of the bonds of this troubled man. May she not feel guilty and shameful for what is happening. It's not her fault. Help her to forgive. Help her to learn to love and to be loved again. We give You all the glory and honor in the name of the Father and the Son. Amen.

Hey DAB fam this is Laura in Eugene. I just want to call and lift up Val in Vegas in prayer. Heavenly Father, Lord, I just lift Val up to You, I pray for strength and courage as she recovers from her recent surgery. Lord, I pray for her medical team as decisions for what happens next are coming and I pray that You would help Val to rest in Your peace and Your comfort and Your care, that she could just feel that peace that passes all comprehension Lord. I pray that You would continue to be with her and guide her through this hard time but I’m just so grateful that she’s moving forward and getting the care that she needs Lord. Father, just keep watch over her. Thank You. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Hi my name is Maggie Mae and I’m calling in certain dyer straights. My whole family, I just found out my whole family is sick. My three grandchildren, my son. My grandson has got a fever of 105, they don’t know what is wrong with him. He’s only two years old. My older grandson who’s 17 he’s sick with RSV, they said that they don’t know, I don’t even know what that is. My granddaughter is so sick, the only one that’s not sick is the mother. I am beside myself with my grandson who is so, so sick. He’s so sick he’s burning. I pray the blood of Jesus over Armanie over Arianna over Marc Anthony. He just lost his father. I pray for my son Marc Anthony. They’re not saved. Please, God don’t take my family. Please, God don’t take my family. Please, oh please, don’t take my family. Please. Thank you, I’m sorry for the emotions but I feel so hopeless. I feel so hopeless. Please pray for them. Please take care of Dominic, Arrianna and Marc Anthony. Please, thank you.

[voltrontranscript]

VLD S8E2: Shadows

Season 8 Episode 2: Shadows

Transcript by @dragonofyang

Summary: In a series of flashbacks, we learn about Honerva’s history with Lotor and Zarkon across the centuries. We follow her from the events of Season 6 until the present as she looks for Lotor, mixed in with flashbacks of Lotor’s childhood.

[Google Doc]

[Open on a flashback from Season 6, then Honerva transports away from Lotor and his generals to the bridge of the ship.]

Honerva (as Haggar): Commander Mar, the emperor has been taken. The Voltron Paladins have betrayed him. Track him down and return him to me.

Mar: Vrepit Sa.

[Scene change to Honerva in her alchemy chamber.]

Honerva (as Haggar): Have you any word from Commander Mar?

Macidus: Nothing, High Priestess. Communication with Commander Mar has been lost.

Honerva (as Haggar): What of Emperor Lotor’s whereabouts?

Macidus: Still unknown.

[Scene change to Honerva back on the bridge at the ruins of Daibazaal where Kova waits hidden in the debris, then transition to a flashback of Honerva with Zarkon while Kova watches.]

Zarkon: I don’t see anything. Can it be true? I am to be a father?

Honerva: Yes.

Zarkon: And you, my queen, will be the mother to the heir of the Galra throne.

Honerva: Yes. There is much to do. First, we must continue to harvest the quintessence. It will be needed for your son’s empire.

Zarkon: He will be the best of both our people.

[Flashback ends to return to Honerva at the bridge, this time with Kova at her side as they overlook Daibazaal.]

Honerva: I will find you, my son.

[Scene change to Honerva’s alchemy chamber once more.]

Macidus: High Priestess, I am sorry to disturb you.

Honerva (as Haggar): Have you located Emperor Lotor?

Macidus: We still have not been able to ascertain any information regarding Emperor Lotor, Commander Mar, or Voltron. It has been phoebs since Emperor Lotor disappeared. The empire is in a state of chaos. The Blade of Marmora still challenges. We need a strong leader. The druids look to you, High Priestess.

Honerva (as Haggar): Tell them to look elsewhere. The druids are but ash in the winds of infinity. Let them be led by someone of equal esteem.

Macidus: Priestess…

Honerva (as Haggar): Depart my presence.

[Flashback to Honerva and Zarkon in the royal bedchamber.]

Zarkon: What shall we name the boy?

Honerva: I was thinking a name that has deep Altean history. Lotarious.

Zarkon: Lotarious?

Honerva: He was one of the ancient Alteans believed to have established much of the foundation of the engineering that built our world.

Zarkon: Interesting. I was considering a name from mythology. Kaltor. But he did not build the worlds, he conquered them.

Honerva: Perhaps we can honor both traditions.

[Scene change back to the alchemy chamber, where Honerva kneels.]

Guard: High Priestess, apologies. I was ordered to notify you when Commander Mar returned.

Honerva (as Haggar): What happened to him?

Drick: I found him like this, near death.

Honerva (as Haggar): What does he know?

Drick: His vitals are weak. He has yet to regain consciousness. We may never find out what he knows.

Honerva (as Haggar): There may be a way. Leave. Do you have news of the emperor?

Mar: Yes. I located Lotor’s generals.

Honerva (as Haggar): Where are they?

Mar: They… they attacked me and took over my ship, leaving me stranded.

Honerva (as Haggar): And what of the emperor? And what of the emperor?

Mar: The generals said Emperor Lotor accessed the Quintessence Field.

Honerva (as Haggar): He pierced the veil.

Mar: But then Voltron attacked. The fight ended. There was an explosion. Lotor and Voltron perished.

Honerva (as Haggar): No… No. I must find him. Call forth the Kral Zera.

[Flashback to just after Zarkon and Honerva’s “deaths” in the rift.]

Honerva: Who… who are you?

Zarkon: You do not recognize your emperor?

Honerva: Who… am I?

Zarkon: Where am I?

Guard: Aboard your ship, sir.

Zarkon: Take us home.

Guard: I can’t, sir. Daibazaal has been destroyed.

Zarkon: Get a doctor to this room immediately.

Haggar: Excuse me, my empress. I just need to--what are you doing? I need you to let go of me. Please! Let go!

Guard: Haggar! Haggar, can you hear me? Haggar, answer me! Oh, no. Help! Send help now!

Honerva: Haggar…

[Flash forward to Honerva-as-Haggar laying in bed after Lotor’s birth.]

Doctor: Sire, the birth was difficult but successful. Your son is healthy and in good shape, though we seem to be getting some strange readings coming from him directly. Similar to those that, well, similar to those of the empress and yourself.

Medic: Your son, sire.

Zarkon: Take him away.

Medic: But--

Zarkon: I said take him away! And what of her?

Doctor: I’m sorry, sire. We have her under constant watch, but she remains in this state. She only seems to become aware when we administer her quintessence. I’m hopeful her condition will improve with time, but, sire, we’re going to have to face the fact that our quintessence supplies are finite. The empire cannot continue to run on what we have. And you and the empress… without it, you’ll--

Zarkon: Give me the room. Do you know who I am?

Haggar: You are emperor.

Zarkon: And you?

Haggar: Ha… Haggar?

Zarkon: Do you know of quintessence?

Haggar: Quintessence.

Zarkon: Can you find me quintessence?

Haggar: Yes, my emperor.

[Flash forward to Feyiv, where Galra ships gather for the next Kral Zera.]

Drick: I am lighting the flame. Bow now, and your allegiance will be remembered.

Galra Officer: My fleet would crush yours in an instant, raining fire and death upon you and your clansmen. What makes you think I would ever bow to you?

Drick: Because I have the witch’s favor.

Galra Officer: It matters not. Power rules absolute.

Drick: I invite you to challenge me once the ceremony has begun. A display of the witch’s magic will bolster my claim as nothing else could.

Second Galra Officer: The Archivist!

Galra Officer: And your witch is nowhere to be found.

Honerva: This flame represents Lotor, son of Zarkon, prince turned emperor, emperor that pierced the veil. And my Altean blood coursed through his veins, but the Galra Empire failed him. It was the Galra blood, deeply boiled in traditions of evil, that tainted him. Your ways weakened a god.

Drick: That treacherous witch!

Honerva: The empire is weak. And now, I will end it.

Galra Officer: What’s this?

[Flashback to the Galra Command Center’s throne room, where a young Lotor stands before his father with a Dayak.]

Zarkon: Dayak, update me on the prince’s progress.

Dayak: Yes, sire. Prince Lotor completed the Agotian Trials as you requested. He was successful, even though they were advanced for his age.

Zarkon: What else?

Dayak: His physical stature is below expectation for the blood lineage of the Galra royalty, but his tactical scores are the highest we’ve ever measured.

Lotor: All I do, I do in the name of Galra. Father, there’s a question I’ve been wanting to ask you.

Dayak: Greatest apologies, sire. This one should not be speaking out of place.

Zarkon: Proceed.

Lotor: I would like to know about my mother. Please, Father, what happened to her?

Zarkon: I will tell you this and no more. She was my only weakness, but now she is gone.

Lotor: What was her name? What was she like?

Zarkon: Enough.

Lotor: Please, Father, I must know who I come from.

Zarkon: I said enough! If you do not remove his impurities, then I will find a Dayak that can.

Dayak: He will be punished accordingly. We will sear him down to his inner fire so that he may burn the universe. Vrepit Sa!

[Flash forward to Honerva, returning to Daibazaal after the Kral Zera.]

Honerva: My son.

[Flash back to Zarkon’s throne room, with a preteen Lotor at his side.]

Guard: Sire, your audience is requested in the Kandar wing.

Lotor: Father, may I accompany you?

Zarkon: You will stay here.

Lotor: But I want to join you. I have learned much of our--

Zarkon: You are an insolent boy. You may be the prince, but I am your emperor.

Haggar: Do not touch him. He will hurt you.

Lotor: What is his name?

Haggar: He has no name.

Lotor: Then I shall name it. Your name will be…

Honerva: --only Kova.

Haggar: Kova. His name is Kova.

Lotor: This creature pleases me. It will be mine.

Haggar: My lord…

Lotor: You may be the high priestess, but I am your prince, and you will do as I say. Isn’t that right, Kova?

Haggar: Yes, my lord.

[Flash forward to Honerva arriving at the first Altean colony.]

Merla: What are you doing here? Answer me.

Honerva: I am Honerva of the planet Altea.

Merla: That is impossible. Altea was destroyed over ten thousand years ago.

Honerva: A powerful portent that is shared with the birth of my son, Lotor.

Merla: Lotor’s mother?

Honerva: Lotor is gone.

Merla: How did he die?

Honerva: Voltron. To all of you who believed in my son so justly, your faith will be rewarded. I have come here today to continue my son’s mission and for that, I need you all.

Luca: We are your humble servants as will be the members of our sister colony once we inform them of the news. Do you know of their whereabouts?

Honerva: Unfortunately, they have also fallen to the evils of Voltron. Voltron and the Galra will pay for what they have done. With your help, I will resurrect my son’s dream.

Merla: We pledge our allegiance to you, Honerva, mother of Lotor.

[Flash forward to Honerva’s ship flying toward the white hole that hides Oriande.]

Honerva: This ancient land was created through powerful magic. Alteans would travel here to learn the secrets of our race. We have a long and difficult road ahead of us, but our path is true.

Merla: We will do anything to bring Lotor back.

Honerva: I know.

Merla: The acolytes have worked tirelessly. The prototype is ready.

Honerva: Excellent work. Find me the most faithful amongst us.

Merla: Yes, my queen.

[Flashback to Lotor’s colony planet, where the Galra Command Center orbits as it’s constructed.]

Ven’tar: Are you nervous?

Lotor: No, Ven’tar. This is my chance to finally make a difference, to show my father what we are capable of.

Zarkon: Update me on your progress.

Lotor: Our quintessence yields are some of the highest in the empire, and we’ve been more efficient than any other. By working alongside the denizens of this planet, like Ven’tar here, we’ve outsourced--

Zarkon: You dare work with this pitiful race as if they are your equals?

Lotor: It is working. We have outpaced even the most generous projections.

Zarkon: The heir to the Galra throne should not sully our honor by working with his subjects!

Lotor: It is the way my mother’s people would have done things. You thought I couldn’t find out about my own mother? About her people? You thought you destroyed every remnant of Altea, but you cannot unless you destroy your own son, as well!

Zarkon: Enough! You are to crush this planet beneath your heel!

Lotor: Never!

Zarkon: Then I will!

Lotor: You wouldn’t. You can’t! Father, wait! No, please do not do this, Father. Do not make these people suffer for my actions.

Zarkon: It is already done.

Lotor: I will do as you ask. The people will serve the Galra. No… No!

Zarkon: You are hereby banished from the empire. Forced to live out the remainder of your days remembering your failure here.

Lotor: Have you nothing to say, witch? Surely even you can see the folly of your master’s actions.

[Flash forward to Honerva as Haggar on the bridge of her ship.]

Honerva (as Haggar): Commander Sendak.

Sendak: the Lions of Voltron have arrived as you suspected. Shall I capture them for you, High Priestess?

Honerva (as Haggar): No. Destroy them.

Sendak: Vrepit Sa.

Honerva: Voltron has been found. It is time to test our first Altean acolyte.

[Flash forward to Honerva standing before the Alteans, lined by mechs on either side.]

Honerva: Today, the light of the universe shines inside our most brave. The dream of life is realized through her actions. For Luca the first acolyte, we shine in Lotor’s bright luminescence!

Luca: Voltron will pay for what they have done.

Honerva: May the light guide you. Rise and avenge my son.

End.

#vld #voltron #transcript #luca #honerva #haggar #zarkon #sendak #drick #lotor #merla #dayak #ven'tar #commander mar

[melancholydreadfuldream]

Going Under Part Three

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: 13th Doctor x Reader

Summary: An accident during a routine adventure made your life spiraled out of control with only the Doctor as the anchor. Will you ever find your way back to your Doctor again?

Trigger Warning: ooc, angst, plot holes as usual, attempted suicide, dark!doctor, death, insanity, etc. You have been warned.

More warning: English is not my first language so beware of the headache you will receive upon reading this.

  A/N: I got a few encouraging comments from the last two part of this stories and I am so very grateful. Thank you, guys! It kinda inspired me to write for part three but unfortunately I still couldn't wrap it up. I can't make any promise for part four. I am really worry that part three will be the part where you guys decided it is bad writing and not worth reading after all. Even so, please be sure to drop comments etc if you like this maybe?

     I opened my eyes and found myself in...well, not the Tardis. Where am I? I took around at my surrounding. Some broadcast station...in space?

  I heard voices on the distant and I decided to go see it. With my luck so far, it will probably direct me to the Doctor. But to my surprise, it was Jack Harkness. He was standing surrounded by people and he was talking about the Daleks coming for them. He asked for volunteers to help him to fight off the Daleks. Some of the people doesn't seem to believe him but there were some who did and actually brave enough to agree to make a stand.

  "Where do I sign-up?" I asked without thinking. Part of me grimaced at the stupid albeit cool line I said. Distinctly, I wonder if I still have a death wish. Maybe I am.

  Jack look surprised to see me and then he grinned. "Well, isn't this a nice surprise?" He walked toward me. "You are the girl from before."

  I grimaced remembering my state of mind at the time of we last met. "yeah, sorry, my mind a bit scrambled before." I remembered meeting him with Ninth Doctor and Rose. Before I could give them a proper explanation, I was ripped away but their Doctor should be able to piece information about me from my rambling. But I don't exactly remember what I said to them. I was messed up at the time. "So, is the Doctor here? Where is he?"

  "Upstairs with Rose, preparing some defense against the Daleks." Jack replied. "Come on." He gestured me to follow him to the lift. "He would love to see you. You leave us very confused and curious."

  I follow him and entered the lift along with the volunteers which are not many. I noticed he has gun on his hand. "Am I gonna get one of those?"

  "Do you even know how to use gun?"

  I blinked. "No." I stared at his gun. "Teach me. I'm sure you are good with guns."

  "That's not all I'm good at." He said with a wink.

  I chuckled in amusement. "Oh, I'm sure." I met him before so I know he's such a flirt. I remembered Graham slipped up and told us that Jack had kissed him in the mouth when he thought he was the Doctor. "But on a serious note, can you teach me how to use gun?"

  Jack glanced down at me, assessing me I think. He noticed my bandaged wrist but thankfully made no question about it. "Sure, if that is what you want."

  "It is." I said. Remembering the alternate version of my Doctor I saw before, she is dead, shot by some weapon that disable regeneration. I wanted to be able to protect her. I know the Doctor disapprove of gun but I have to learn to defend myself especially since I'm still being thrown all over the alternate universe and meeting the likes of the Master or Daleks. 

  I sighed. Am I going with the theory of alternate universe again? Or that I'm going insane by hallucination? Either way, this is the right time to start learning to use a gun. A brief suicidal thought of using the gun on myself crossed my mind. Someday maybe. I shook my head and tried to focus on the last word of the alternate Thirteenth Doctor about keeping my faith and hope, and that words again about trust in the Doctor. I put my hand over my beating heart. I guess I have to try.

  Jack is staring at me in concern but he didn't ask which I'm super grateful. As we arrived on some floor, he instructed the other volunteers to be in their position before turning to me and led me to go see the Doctor. 

  "Doctor, look who I found lurking around." Jack announced.

  The Doctor glanced up from what he has been working on and was surprised to see me. He stood up in disbelief and walked toward me. "It's you."

  I smiled hesitantly. "Hi. I'm (name)?" I introduced myself.

  To my surprise, the Doctor smiled brightly at me. "It's good to see you again." He said as he hugged me. He released me and glanced down at me. "You look better than before." He noticed my bandaged wrist and his smile faltered momentarily.

  I grimaced and I pray he didn't mention it. "yeah, I'm sorry you have to see my breakdown like that." Ugh, why does this particular Doctor has to witness my condition at worst? I could tell the guilt in his eyes even though what happened to me is out of anyone's control. If I die on his watch, I have a feeling he would take it really hard.

  "So, the Daleks, huh?" I switched topic. "I met a Dalek once with my Doctor during new year. It caused a blackout on Britain's internet system." I smiled at the somewhat fond memory about Ryan make a comment what a monster the Dalek was for doing that.

  The Doctor gazed at me with a look I can't decipher. 

  "So, what's the plan?" I asked, feeling uncomfortable.

  "Where is Rose?" Jack suddenly asked out-loud.

  I realized that Rose is nowhere around too late. So much for being more aware of my surrounding...

  The Doctor has a look on his face and both Jack and I know that he must have send her home. A very Doctor-ly action of him. 

  Jack goes away to deal with some of the volunteers and I sat back with the Doctor.

  "How can I help?" I asked, knowing full well I'm kinda useless. I wondered if I should have gone with Jack so I could ask him if he has a moment later to teach me how to use gun. Yes, my mind still made up on learning that.

  The Doctor busied himself with some wire on a box. For a while, I thought he will be ignoring me but he suddenly asked that dreading question, "How are you holding up?"

  I blinked. "I'm fine."

  He stopped what he worked on and turned to me. "What happened to your wrist?" He asked.

  "It was nothing. I got hurt."

  "By your own hand?" he asked bluntly.

  Wow, he must have think I'm unstable as a person. Well, I can't blame him for reaching that conclusion, considering the first and last time we met, I actually admitted of trying to hang myself. And It's not like he's wrong about it.

  "I'm fine." I repeated firmly. I looked away unable to hold his gaze any longer. "I will be okay."

  We were interrupted by a transmission from a Dalek. It was talking about a delta wave or whatever I couldn't keep up. Once the transmission is over, the Doctor look troubled. It looked like he was almost in despair and it's not a good look on him.

  I coughed up blood again much to my annoyance. I turned from him, not wanting him to see it. I pulled the medicine from my bag, wondering if I should pop one and stick around here. I know thing is about to be dangerous around here.

  "What is that?" The Doctor suddenly asked, surprising me and I dropped the medicine on the floor.

  I cursed. "Don't do that." I reprimanded him for jumping me.

  "Sorry." He said with a sheepish grin.

  "It was just a med I'm taking." I said, determined to be vague. The Doctor gave me that look again and I sighed. "Fine, what do you want to know?"

  He grinned at me and gesture me to seat on the floor with him.

  I explained what happened to me as short as possible. I showed him my notebook but I warned him about it might containing his alternate future with description of his alternate future regeneration and companion. 

  "I guess I have a future..." He said with a grin at the mention of future regeneration.

  "You're the Doctor. You will beat the Daleks." I reassured him.

  It has the opposite reaction. He looked sad. "Not always."

  I showed him the Twelfth Doctor's writing on my page. 

  He grabbed the notebook and read it. "This is my language."

  "Is it?"

  "The language of the Time Lord. Future me must have trusted you." He said.

  I felt my heart ached at that. I kinda felt like I'm letting that particular Twelfth Doctor down by losing the will to live. What would he says if he see me now? 

  The Doctor must noticed something on my expression. Probably the same despair that he currently felt against the Daleks. He pulled me into his embrace. "I'm so sorry. I can tell things has been hard for you."

  I felt my face hot as I could tell I'm about to cry again. "Stop it." I said. "You're going to make me cry again."

  "Then cry."

  "But the Daleks..."

  "It's fine. Let go, (name)."

  And I did. I cried and I poured my heart out to him about the despair I still feel clutching me and the loneliness I felt from time to time. 

  "You are not alone. All the alternate Doctors in all those other alternate universe will be your allies." He said. "Just have faith and keep hope in your heart."

  The same word the alternate Thirteenth Doctor said to me. They really are the same person. 

  I nodded weakly and said, "Thank you."

  Another transmission from the Daleks and they basically mocking the Doctor of his situation. While the Doctor dealt with the Daleks, I saw Jack who seemed to be listening to my earlier conversation with the Doctor. He gestured me to follow him and he gave me a gun. He teach me the basic of how to use a gun. I was nervous but I still stand in my belief that I need to at least know how to use one.

  I decided to go with Jack to help defend the floor but the Doctor stopped me. 

  "It's not safe." He said.

  "It's fine."

  "No, it's not." He said stubbornly.

  I realized he still think I am suicidal. Am I? His words earlier does make me feel better. Do I still want to give up? Or am I going to give this nightmare another chance?

  Jack left me with the Doctor, knowing how protective the Doctor is with companion, albeit an alternate one.

  I flinched when I started to hear the scream and the sound of gun from the other floor.

  The Doctor asked me to help him move some wires around and so I did as he instructed.

  Things has gotten really serious when the Daleks finally reaches the floor we are in. 

  Distinctly I wonder what happened to Jack. He should be fine, I think, because I met his alternate self far in the Doctor's future, right...?

  "Doctor!!" I yelled to warn him. I suddenly felt the usual tingling, a sign I was about to be ripped away but a Dalek suddenly shot at me.

  The Doctor stared helplessly in horror as I screamed in pain and fell to the floor at the exact moment the Tardis materialized within the room and Rose is there, glowing.

  I felt pain and then I was gone.

  7777

  "Come on! Come on! (name), hold on!"

  I distinctly heard a woman's voice shouting at me and she was pressing on my chest repeatedly. I wanted to protest but my body is hurt and I can't open my eyes.

  "(name), please hold on. Don't you dare give up!" The woman shouted near me.

  I groaned and I opened my eyes but my sight is blurred. Ooh, it was Thirteenth Doctor. How can I not recognize her voice?

  The Doctor sighed in relief as she saw me open my eyes. "(name)...."

  I wanted to speak but I found I couldn't.

  The Doctor's eyes darted toward something I couldn't see. She moved her face closer to me and she said, "Listen to me, (name), this is important, whatever happened, don't take...."

  I blacked out.

  7777

  "(name), are you okay? Are you hurt?"

  I blinked when I saw Tenth Doctor and Donna. I was lying on the ground somewhere. "owww..." I groaned.

  "Is that the '(name)'? Your future alternate companion? That '(name)'?" Donna asked the Doctor.

  What? He told her about me?

  I blinked again. 

  The Doctor pulled his sonic screwdriver and scanned me. "You are injured..."

  "My whole body hurts...." I complained in a hoarse voice. "That dalek got me just as I was about to splinter..."

  The Doctor's eyes widened at the mention of the Dalek. "You are so lucky, (name), you didn't suffer the full blunt of the shot it seemed."

  "I don't feel lucky though..." I said I grabbed his arm and forced myself on a seating position. I turned to Donna and greeted her. "Hello."

  Donna smiled in friendly manner. "Hello, I'm Donna and you are (name), I have heard so much about you." she said. "He talks about you all the time."

  I raised my eyebrows at the Doctor who looked a little red in the neck. 

  He shrugged. "I was worried for you."

  I smiled. "Thanks."

  He grinned at me and helped me up. 

  "Where are we?" I asked as I took on my surrounding. I was in some bazaar...on some alien planet?

  Donna grinned and grabbed my arm. "Come on. From what the Doctor told me, you deserve a break." she said.

  I let myself be dragged by her as she took me to some stand that sells various stuff. I turned to eye the Doctor and gesture my head toward Donna.

  The Doctor smirked at me and shrugged.

  We tried some alien food and have some fun with it. I pulled my medicine discreetly and pop one. Donna's right, I deserve a break, don't I?

  The Doctor noticed when I swallowed my medicine despite my attempt to be discreet.

  Donna, sensing he want to talk to me alone, left us behind to check on some stand.

  He raised an eyebrow at me.

  "It was for my internal bleeding." I said finally. "Your alternate future-self made it for me."

  He look saddened at the reminder that I was dying.

  "Come on, don't make that kind of face." I said. 

  "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I should have provided some answers or cure for you by now." He replied.

  "It's fine. I'm sure you did your best."

  The Doctor didn't reply for a second. He has a distant look. He eventually said, "Martha and I went to the coordinate you gave us last time." He sighed and then turned to look at me in the eyes. "We didn't find anything. It seemed your scientists does not exist here."

  "Ooh." I didn't know what to say to that. On top of not being existed here, apparently the cause of my predicament also did not?

  "I still check on the coordinate from time to time..." The Doctor said. "So far, nothing."

  I hated seeing that sad and guilty look on his face. "Okay, enough, we should stop being a downer. Today is about having fun." I said suddenly.

  The Doctor blinked at me and smiled slowly. He raised his hand toward me.

  I glanced up at him, rolling my eyes fondly at him and took his hand, allowing him to take me to continue sightseeing.

  We joined back with Donna and we try to have some fun, pushing the elephant in the room away.

  Eventually I got a bit tired and have a seat by myself while the Doctor and Donna goes to check out some stuff, promising to come back and buy me some more food.

  I pulled my notebook and started writing what has been happening to me so far. I sighed after I finished writing.

  "What are you writing?" The Doctor asked as he come back with some food that smell delicious and he gave one to me.

  I smiled gratefully at him. I explained the function of my notebook.

  He stared at me with almost a solemn look. "Are you okay?"

  I sighed. "I'm fine, Doctor, please don't worry about me, okay?"

  "I can't help it. Last time we met, the Master..." He trailed. 

  "One of the alternate Doctors helped me after that. She fixed my mind."

  "She, huh? Not your Doctor?"

  My smile faltered. I diverted my eyes somewhere else.

  "You can tell me anything, (name)." He said. "I would like to be of help to you."

  Oh, Doctors, whichever universes you come from, why do you always staring at me like my predicament is their fault?

  "You are helping, of course, you are. Being here with you...you made me feel almost normal again." I said trying to reassured him.

  He glanced at me with that look again.

  "I'm fine." I said. "I will be okay. I met your alternate past-self and he said that I am not alone. All the alternate Doctors in all the alternate universe will be my allies."

  He sighed. "He is right." He said. He pulled my notebook and my pen from me.

  "What are you doing?"

  "Helping you convincing whichever Doctors you get next." He said as he opened the notebook to a blank page and started scribbling something on it.

  When I read what he wrote, I laughed. He wrote it in english but at the end he is writing in the same language as the Twelfth Doctor. The Ninth Doctor told me it was the language of the Time Lord. I wonder what it meant, the words he's writing.

  The Doctor grinned boyishly at me.

  Donna joined us and she exclaimed loudly about some magnificent show out there and demanded we go with her.

  I put the notebook back on my bag as I rushed to follow Donna and the Doctor.

  I have fun with them. I think this is one of the best days so far ever since the nightmarish incident happened to me.

  Somehow I got separated from them and that's when I was stopped by a strange woman. She owned a stand. She said she is some kind of oracle. She took a look at me and kinda forcing me to let her see my future.

  I thought why not. Maybe she can show me the way home. So, I entered her tent. An aromatic smell assaulted my nose. She has one of those glass ball which make me smiled.

  She told me to sit so I did and she told me to stare at the glass ball and think of what I wanted to know.

  I felt foolish for doing this but I did it anyway. I fervently hope, thinking about how to get back to my reality.

  She snapped her fingers suddenly and I blacked out.

   I opened my eyes to the sight of some trees and a garden. I saw an old woman watering the flower. She has long white hair in a braid. I saw an ugly scarred skin on her wrist resembling the number 99.

   I suddenly was shook awake harshly by Donna followed by her screaming at someone about what she has done to me.

  I opened my eyes and some scary huge bug on my chest and I felt like the bug is chocking me somehow. I was about to scream just as Donna pulled the bug off me. I coughed up harshly and weakly tried to sit up.

  Donna is yelling at the woman.

  I saw the bug walked and flown toward Donna. "Donna, watch out!" I yelled but my voice is hoarse and unclear.

  To my horror, the bug has landed on Donna's back and Donna stared at me in shock before she suddenly fainted.

  At the worst moment, that tingling happened and I screamed for the Doctor but I was gone.

  7777

  I fell to the ground. I was on the street somewhere on earth. Everyone seemed panicking. When I looked up to the sky, I know why everyone is panicking. I could saw planets on the sky. What the hell? What is happening?

  "It's you." Someone suddenly said.

  I turned around and I saw Rose. She was carrying a huge gun.

  "(name), right? The Doctor told me about you. If you are here, the Doctor must be near somewhere." She said. "Come on, follow me if you want to live."

  I was dumbfounded by her. She is such a bad-ass.

  She grinned at me. She took a look at me and realized I was unarmed. "Do you know how to use a gun?"

  "Well, Jack teaches me but I haven't got a gun or time to practice it yet."

  She hummed and pulled a stun gun from her bag. She taught me how to use it.

  I stared at the stun gun. "thanks?"

  "You're welcome. Now, let's go and find the Doctor." She said as she cocked her gun.

  I was amazed by this girl. She is awesome.

  As we walked together, I discreetly observed her. Rose. I met her with Ninth Doctor which mean he survived the Daleks on that space station. I was glad.

  We walked the currently empty street and there far away we spotted the Tardis. 

  I saw Tenth Doctor and Donna? I was confused now. Are they the same Tenth Doctor and Donna from my last trip? But this Rose is with Ninth Doctor, right? But that meant the Ninth Doctor has regenerated into his Tenth version. Dear God, I'm going to get a headache trying to make sense which Doctors I'm getting from now on. 

  Rose grinned as the Doctor stared at her in awe. They run toward each other.

  Wow, I felt like a third wheel at that moment.

  Suddenly the Doctor was shot by the Daleks. I ran toward the Doctor and Rose immediately.

  Jack appeared suddenly and shot at the Daleks before grabbing the Doctor toward the Tardis. 

  Rose and Donna were crying.

  I was numb. No way. I don't want to watch the Doctor dies again. He has to regenerate, right?

  The Doctor started to glow in yellow.

  Jack yelled at us to get back and away from the Doctor. But to all of our surprise, the Doctor is fine next? He transferred his regeneration energy on a tube containing...hand? What the hell?

  The Doctor is fine and he acted like he is not just gotten shot much to all of our confusion. He eventually explained it to us.

  I sighed. The Doctor is just so full of surprise.

  The Doctor and Rose are having a moment together. It was then I realized that this Doctor is in love with Rose and she is feeling the same. But what about River? I groaned, I'm having a lot of information on the Doctor, much more than my Doctor probably want anyone to know. That's probably the one good thing from being forced to one alternate universes to another. I know more about the Doctor now...somewhat.

  The Doctor finally gazed at me. He grinned and gave me a hug. "(name)! It's good to see you again!" He said. As he hugged me, he whispered to me, "I'm glad you keep the hope going."

  I glanced up at him and sighed. "I have the Doctors as my allies, right?"

  Donna just that moment to cough. "Doctor, who is this?" she asked.

  I turned to Donna. Right, this version haven't met me yet. I thought of the Donna I met before. Is she okay? "The bug! Have you gotten the bug yet?" I asked her.

  The Doctor and Donna stared at me in surprise. 

  "How do you...? Right, alternate universe..." The Doctor pieced it together. "She is fine. Donna, this is (name) and (name), I'm sure you already know this is Donna." He introduced us.

  "W-what? Alternate universe?" Donna yelled.

  "It's a long story..." The Doctor said.

  I bit my lips and prayed the other Donna is okay too.

  Jack pulled me into a hug next. "It's good to see you too, (name)."

  I smiled at him. "I'm glad you're okay, Jack."

  Jack smiled and winked at me. 

  We are interrupted at the sound of Daleks outside the Tardis. They intercepted the Tardis and took it to some place called the crucible?

  The Doctor said we had no choice but to face the Daleks and urged us to get out of the Tardis. Donna stayed behind and got trapped inside the Tardis and then the Daleks throw the Tardis into some fiery pit much to all of our horror. The Doctor is angry but helpless.

  It was then the Daleks attention diverted toward me. They scanned me and realized I'm not on their record as the Doctor's companion which mean they have no need for me to be there. One of the Daleks are about to shot me but Jack shielded me much to my surprise.

  Rose and I fussed on Jack and realized he is not breathing. 

  I felt grief. He can't die here. How can he warn about the cyberman in the future if he die now? Did I just mess up this universe?

  The Doctor pulled me and Rose away from Jack. He whispered at the distracted me, "He's fine. He can't die."

  I glanced up at him in hope.

  He nodded at me.

  I sighed in relief. I could felt the tingling again and I turned toward the Doctor helplessly. 

  He was staring at me and nodded again, apparently understanding that I am about to go. 

  I was gone before words can be exchanged.

  7777

  I dropped on my knees in some room resembled a prison. I glanced around in confusion.

  "Didn't realize I'm getting a roommate now..."

  I jumped at the voice. "Who is that?"

  A figure moved from the shadow toward the spot that has some light and my jaw dropped in shock when I saw it was the Thirteenth Doctor. She has a longer hair and wearing some hideous uniform.

  I can't believe I didn't recognize her voice. What is the matter with me?

  She glanced at me with nonrecognition which confirmed that she is a new alternate Thirteenth, one that is different from the ones I have met before.

  "Hello, there, I am the Doctor."

  I stared at her before replying, "It's (name)."

  "Aah, it's nice to meet you, (name)." She said with a grin.

  "Where are we?" I interrupted her.

  She glanced at me. "You don't know?"

  "Is this a prison?" I asked.

  "Yes. Stormcage, the most secure prison in the galaxy. Well, almost." She said with a snicker, laughing at a joke only she know.

  "Prison? Why are you in prison?" I asked in confusion.

  She hummed. "I have no idea. The Judoon suddenly come and teleport-ed me here, no warning, so unfair."

  I was confused now. "Do you have a plan of escape?"

  She frowned at me. "You just arrived and already plotting an escape?"

  I frowned back at her. "You didn't?"

  She grinned. "Oh I like you. I do have been plotting. But it seemed ever since River, they have learnt so much." She said with a sigh.

  I frowned again at the mention of the Doctor's wife.

  "But I am still working on it." She said and she started rambling.

  I couldn't help but smiled fondly at her. I missed my Doctor so much. I started coughing again and I quickly turned away from her and pop a pill. 

  She was still busy talking to herself so she didn't notice what I am doing.

  I took a seat on the floor, my back on the wall as I glanced at her. "How long have you been here?"

  "Oh, it's almost six months give or take." She said.

  "Six months?" I asked, concerned. I wanted to ask about the fam but that would require revealing about me and right now, I just didn't want to do that. 

  The Doctor, all alone, in a confined solitary room, of course, she would be talking to herself non-stop and the way she is handling me, it is almost like she think I'm not real. She haven't even ask why I ended up in prison. I am very worried for her state of mind. But she is the Doctor. She probably has gone worst thing than this. I hope she will be okay.

  She mostly ignored me and talked to herself or to the shadow. Sometimes she seemed to talk to hallucination of her past companion as she rattled some names that I do recognize.

  I don't want to leave her alone like this. Perhaps I should tell her about me, give her a mystery to focus on? I only have a few hours with her. I wish I could save her and take her away from this place. I prayed someone rescued her soon.

  My prayer is answered when the door opened and Jack Harkness appeared.

  "Hah! Did you miss me?" He yelled but frowned when he saw two of us. "Doctor?"

  "Captain Jack!" The Doctor yelled and actually hug him. Even Jack is surprised but he hug her back with a wide grin. 

  "Doctor, don't take this the wrong way but you are so small." Jack said.

  The Doctor hit him in the arms. 

  I watched their reunion with a smile.

  "And who is this?" Jack asked me in a flirty manner after they finished with their reunion.

  "Stop it." She said immediately at Jack. Her eyes widened as she turned to look at me. "Ooh, you are real." she said.

  Wow, she really think I'm a hallucination? I smiled and waved at her.

  "I'm (name)." I introduced myself to the both of them.

  "Anyway, I'm here to rescue you, doc. We need to go before they realize I am here." Jack said, ignoring me.

  The Doctor nodded and started asking him about how he gets in and how he know she is in here. She seemed to forget me.

  I have to admit that kind of hurt but I know it is not his fault or the Doctor's.

  I was surprised when the Doctor suddenly turned toward me, raised a hand toward me and asked me if I want to go with her.

  I blinked at her in disbelief but I grabbed her hand as she helped me stand up.

  "Which remind me, why are you in prison?" She asked.

  I smiled fondly at her. "I really miss you." I accidentally blurted.

  She looked surprised and stared at me. "Do I know...you?"

  I smiled solemnly. "In another alternate universe..." I answered, fully aware I'm being vague on purpose.

  She opened her mouth to ask some more but the alarm sounded loudly and Jack is yelling at her to leave now.

  The Doctor turned toward me with question in her eyes.

  I could feel the tingling and stepped back away from her. "Go, Doctor and take care..." I said.

  She stared at me in confusion and her eyes widened as I vanished before her eyes.

  7777

  I landed outside some farmhouse. 

  "(name)?"

  I saw Twelfth Doctor. He was not alone. He was with a robot? I was shocked when the Doctor called the robot Bill. I know Bill and she is not a robot.

  My eyes widened as I recognized the Master, the one I met on Valiant. He was older but it was definitely him. I turned toward the Doctor. "Doctor....?" I was confused about which Twelfth Doctor is he. I have met two version of him after all.

  The Master approached us. "Doctor, while you are chatting with the Robo-mop, me and me...have been busy. We found it." He said. He turned to Bill and changed his voice. "Oh, hello, my dear. My God, you are so boring all those years..." He chuckled cruelly. "But it was worth every day of it for this." He gestured at Bill's appearance.

  "Bill, don't let him upset you." The Doctor said.

  I was pissed. This bastard.

  "Though didn't you used to be a woman? I'm going to be a woman fairly soon, any tips? Or maybe...I dunno old bras?" The Master asked mockingly.

  I was furious now. If the Doctor is not gonna do anything, I will! Without thinking I pulled the stun gun in my bag, the one Rose gave me and I used it to stun the Master. It was satisfying to see him got electrocuted and fell to the ground jerking. I used it on him once more for good measure.

  The Doctor's jaw dropped open in shock at what I have done. "(name)!"

  I snapped at him. "What? You are going to let him speak to Bill like that?" I asked angrily.

  "I'm not upset..." Bill said in a robotic voice. She turned to me. "Thank you."

  "You are welcome." I said.

  The Doctor stared at Bill. He had no idea how to deal with her, how to begin to comfort her. I felt bad for the both of them.

  The Doctor pulled me aside. "What do you think you are doing? The Master is not a forgiving person."

  "Well, it's a good thing that I won't be here for long." I said. "He did that to Bill."

  The Doctor looked ashamed. "I failed her. They turned her into a cyberman."

  I stared at him. So, the robot is a cyberman? I can't help but think of Jack's warning for my Doctor about the lone cyberman.

  "Why do you even have a stun gun?" He asked.

  "Got it from Rose, actually." I said. "I met her on earth when the sky full of planet?"

  He looked nostalgic at the mention of Rose.

  "Last time I almost got shot by a dalek and before that, the Master attacked me. I need protection."

  "That stun gun won't do a thing to a dalek."

  "I know but it worked fine against that jerk." I said.

  The Doctor sighed in resignation. He glanced at me. "I'm sorry, I promise you a cure but..." He sighed again. 

  "It's okay, Doctor. You helped me a lot already. I still have the medicine you gave me." I said.

  He hummed. "I'm glad I could be of help."

  So, he is indeed the first Twelfth Doctor I met, not the other one. I hugged him suddenly. "Thank you."

  He hesitantly hugged back.

  I smiled at him as I released him. 

  "You shouldn't stay here. It is not safe." He said.

  "I know. Doctor, I'm sorry about Bill." I said. I realized the person my Doctor had lost before she met the fam and me must be Bill. My heart saddened for Bill. The short time we met, I know she is a very kind and funny girl. To think she ended up like this....it is so unfair.

  I could felt I'm about to splinter again. "Thank you, Doctor, stay safe." I quickly said.

  7777

  I landed somewhere I have no idea but I spotted the Tardis a few feet away. I heard commotion. Then I noticed Thirteenth Doctor with the fam. They were all on the ground fussing on someone I couldn't see. I discreetly moved around to get a better view but still hid myself.

  I froze when I realized who it was. It was me. An alternate me...? Or was it a future me...? I hid myself behind a nearby rock.

  The other me, she was groaning in pain, the Doctor and the fam are trying to calm her down. She was coughing blood and she was crying. She said she wanted to go home. I froze as her words reminded me of the dark Doctor I met before. She told me I died in her arms, that I kept saying I want to go home. Is that what happening right now? I wondered numbly.

  The other me doesn't seem to register the presence of the Doctor and the fam. She seemed in so much pain as she suddenly started screaming and struggling in the Doctors' arms. My body felt like turning cold at her chilling screams. 

  The Doctor and the fam, they are crying for her, the other me. Then the scream stopped and she stopped moving. Her hand fell limb on the ground. That's when I saw it. The other me, she has scars on her wrist, shaped like...66 or was it 99? 

  I felt sick. I felt like I'm going to throw up. I can't stay here. I wanted to leave. I stand up as I took a step back away from the scene before me. My eyes still glued on them though. I prayed I could leave and for once I did get my wish. But just as I about to disappeared though my eyes locked eyes with the Doctor. Her mouth dropped open in shock as she saw me but I vanished right before her eyes.

  7777

  I landed inside the Tardis but the Tardis is poorly lit. I was at the corridors so I tried to find my way to the console room. Luckily I was not far from it.

  I saw Eleventh Doctor sitting on a comfy chair, wearing glasses and reading book. He looked sad and grumpy, don't know why I get that vibe from him. It seemed like he was alone, no companion in sight. I still felt like I am intruding. I wonder if I should just steer clear of him. Of course, I have to suddenly have a bout of coughing right at that moment. I am hesitating to take my med, wondering if he will even welcome me at his state.

  The Doctor glanced up and his mouth dropped open when he saw me. He dropped the book and quickly stood up, approaching me hesitantly. "It's you..."

  Oh, he recognized me. But, again, which Eleventh Doctor is he? I already met and interact with two version of him before.

  I smiled hesitantly. 

  "You're (name)...." He said. "Rory's imaginary friend..."

  Well, that settle it. He is the one I met with Amy, Rory and River.

  "Is that what I'm known for now?" I asked teasingly. "Speaking of, where is he?"

  The Doctor looked like someone shot his puppy. "The Ponds are gone." He finally said.

  Oh. This is awkward. I don't know how I am supposed to comfort him. So, I only lamely said, "I'm sorry."

  He smiled solemnly. "How are you holding up?" He asked.

  I blinked at him in confusion before I remembered he did witness my breakdown the last time we met. "I'm okay." I said. I turned away from him to take a look at the surrounding. "You redecorated the Tardis. Where are we? Or when are we?" I asked, hoping to distract him.

  "Why don't you see for yourself?" He said as he gesture on the Tardis door.

  I raised an eyebrow at him and walked toward the door. I opened the door and my jaw dropped open in shock. We...the Tardis is up on the cloud. "What...?" I turned to him in awe. "We are up in the cloud."

  He grinned boyishly.

  "Is it safe to walk around out there?" I asked hesitantly.

  In answer, the Doctor moved past me and walked outside around the cloud before turning to me and raised a hand toward me.

  I hesitantly grabbed his hand and jump onto the cloud. I couldn't help but giggle. This is awesome. I walked slowly to the edge of the cloud and saw Victorian London? I quickly get away from the edge.

  The Doctor is staring at the distant with a solemn look which make me worry for him.

  "Are you okay, Doctor?"

  "I'm always okay." He answered immediately. But with that sad look in his eyes, who would believe him?

  I stared at him before petulantly said, "Well, I guess we are both okay then."

  His face falls at that. Ugh, I felt like I just kicked a puppy or something.

  "Doctor, why are we up on the cloud instead of down there?"

  He took a few seconds before replying, "I am taking a break."

  "From the universe?" I asked softly.

  He didn't reply.

  I sighed. His sad mood made me feeling down too. "I just saw myself died." I suddenly said, don't know why I said that. Wouldn't this just make the both of us more down? Am I trying to get him to open up by showing him my own pain? But this is the Doctor, a pro at bottling emotion till it chokes them. The Doctor that I know never exactly open up to me or the fam. I sighed, maybe I need him to listen my woes? Gosh, I'm so selfish.

  He turned to me in surprise and pity.

  I tried to be nonchalant. "Well, it could be an alternate me instead of a future me." I said.

  He glanced down at me but I refused to meet his gaze, choosing instead to stare at the night sky.

  We both jumped in surprise when the Tardis phone suddenly rang.

  The Doctor seemed wanting to ignore the phone but decided to pick it up as he walked back inside. I followed him in but keep my distance.

  "Yes, what? I'm trying to read." Silence. "Always pointless. What did she says? Well? Well?" 

  Whoever on the other side of the conversation seemed to stun the Doctor. He took off his glasses and have a look on his face. He hang up the phone and then turned to me. "Fancy a trip?"

  I raised an eyebrow at him before shrugging. "I suppose."

  He smiled with dare I say a little lively than before, his eyes burning in curiosity. 

  I pondered what that phone call is all about. It seemed to make his mood a little better.

  He glanced down at what I'm wearing. "But, you are going to need change outfit."

  "Oh no. I don't like Victorian dress. Also, I don't want to splinter with a dress like that." I complained.

  "Fair point. Go to the Tardis wardrobe. Get yourself some coat to cover yourself." He said as he gave me the direction to the wardrobe.

  I left him to go to the wardrobe. While there, I coughed up again so I took my med, resigning myself to be stuck with this Doctor. Maybe we could help each other. Maybe.

  7777

  Next thing I know, the Doctor is dressed like Sherlock Holmes and we barged our way into some institute where a mean-looking older man sat in his chamber with a huge tube containing snow. I watched him talk really fast and being actively annoying to that Simeon guy. The Doctor then grabbed me and we left the house after he got the information he need.

  He led me down the street of Victorian London and a horse carriage stopped short in front of us. A potato-looking alien is driving the carriage. I stared at him before turning to the Doctor who introduced me to Strax.

  In the carriage, the Doctor suddenly spoke up after a long silence, "River and I went to investigate the coordinate you gave us."

  I glanced at him. I almost afraid he's going to say the coordinate is useless and the scientist doesn't exist too. 

  "We couldn't find the weapon but we poke around a bit, got some lead and we found out about Project Splinter." He said.

  My eyes widened at that. "Splinter...?"

  "Yes, I remembered when we first met, you are in a hurry because you have no idea when next you will splinter..." He said. "The word 'splinter' does caught our attention. Where did you get that word from?"

  I agonized whether I should tell him about the future dark Doctor that I met but I decided to tell him because he is the smart one out of the two of us. If anyone can make sense anything, it would be him.

  The Doctor look troubled after my Revelation. He theorized that maybe that version of Doctor might know something more about project splinter. But it's not like I can ask her. Also, I kind of not wanting to see that version ever again. She frightened me. Also, maybe I am being a coward about it.

  "What is that, project splinter?" I asked curiously.

  "Basically...time travel."

  "W-what?"

  "The scientists in charge of the project has this...amazing machine and with a few tweak and some calculation, it might have worked." The Doctor said. "But River and I, we shut it down. We couldn't find any weapon though."

  "But...so...it's not a weapon? Against you?"

  "Nothing like that. As far as we knew, they don't even have any idea who I am."

  "So then, the threat just existed on the other alternate universes? With my Doctor?" I asked. My head started hurting with all these information that I can't even quite comprehend. I'm not a screaming genius like the Doctor. "God, I don't understand what is going on." I said with a pitiful groan.

  "It will be fine, (name), we will figure it out eventually." He said. "I will help."

  For a moment, I felt like I would never escape this predicament I am in and I wish to give up again. But hearing him says that and remembering all the other Doctors, I have to force myself to endure it. I have to, right...?

  The carriage suddenly stopped. Strax took us to some house with a frozen pond in it to which the Doctor fussed over it immediately using his sonic screwdriver.

  He started to mumble by himself and I only caught the last few words. "Pond. Good point, Clara." He said.

  My eyes snapped back at him at the mention of Clara. She is here? From what he said, Clara is not his companion just yet.

  Strax distracted the Doctor by offering him a grenade and then they have a funny banter with each other.

  I covered my mouth to stop myself from laughing at them.

  It was then I saw Clara who stood behind the window on the second floor of the house. She was smiling and waving at the Doctor. The Doctor looked awkward as he returned her wave and all.

  "So, that was Clara..." I said.

  "You know her?" The Doctor asked.

  I raised an eyebrow at him.

  "Right, alternate universes." He said. "You are kind of a big spoiler, (name)."

  "Sorry." I said with a wince. He is right though. I really need to be more careful. Even in alternate universes, some things the Doctor experienced seemingly remain the same. What would I do if next I meet a Twelfth Doctor and Bill before she became a cyberman? Would I warn them? I pondered about it and I think I would warn them. I'm not trying to be a hero. I just can't live with myself if I didn't warn them when I know something bad will happen to them. Screw the timelines and the universes! They are the one who play me like a yo-yo first!

  Also technically I'm trying to change the future, my Doctor's possible future and mine. I don't want to die like that. 

  The Doctor called me out to follow him into the house and we are faced with an ice-sculpture of a woman who kept screaming about bad girl and stuff. The Doctor was able to disable the ice woman and get Clara and her kids to safety.

  The Doctor introduced me to Madam Vastra and Jenny as they along with Strax joined us inside the house while outside creepy-looking snowmen appeared from the snow and surrounded the house.

  Of course, at that moment, I felt that again, a sign I was about to go. I looked up toward the Doctor who is busy talking really fast at everyone. I tried to warn him but I was gone before I could open my mouth.

  7777

  I blinked and took a glance around my surrounding. I wasn't on the Tardis.

  "(name)!!" Tenth Doctor called out to me. He grinned at me so happily.

  "Doctor..." Crap, which Tenth Doctor is he? I thought to myself. I took in his appearance. He's wearing his usual suit and trenchcoat but he has a cowboy hat, sunglasses and a flower wreath around his neck.

  "It's good to see you again. Aw, come on here you!" He walked toward me and immediately pulled me into a tight hug.

  I smiled hesitantly. "Doctor, the last time we met is..."

  "In the bazaar with Donna..." He said.

  "Right, Donna, is she okay? I mean, I left her defenseless against that creepy bug..."

  His smile faltered. A sad look crossed over his feature. "She was fine. Don't worry."

  "Then, where is she?"

  "She doesn't travel with me anymore."

  "Ooh. I'm sorry, Doctor. So you are travelling alone right now?"

  "Not anymore. I have you now." He said with a grin but he still looked sad.

  "Doctor, you know I can't stick around."

  "Course you can, just for a few hours like before." 

  I glanced up at him and sighed. I shrugged. "What the hell...I deserve more breaks...." 

  He grinned. "That's the spirits... Come on!"

  I popped a pill before I followed him. "Where are we?"

  The Doctor explained to me in excitement about the planet we are in. He took me sightseeing and I must admit I am having fun with him. 

  As I glanced at him, I got the vibe of unbearable sorrow from him. I couldn't help feeling a great concern for him. He tried too hard to act happy but I could tell he was burdened by something.

  A few hours later, I know I would be leaving him soon. So, I had to ask. "Doctor, are you really okay?"

  He glanced at me and his mask falls apart. "I'm going to die."

  I stared at him speechless.

  "I was told 'he will knock four times'. That was the prophecy. Knock four times, then..." He trailed.

  My heart ached for him. He look almost scared. "But...you will regenerate, won't you?"

  "I can still die." He said. "If I'm killed before regeneration, then I'm dead."

  My mind suddenly flashed to the memory of finding the Thirteenth Doctor's dead body. But that was because the weapon that can disable regeneration. He will regenerate, won't he, into the Eleventh Doctor? Or will this particular universe have different outcome?

  "Even then, even if I change, it would still feel like dying. Everything I am dies. Some new man..." He glanced at me thoughtfully. "...or woman goes sauntering away..." He said with a forlorn look. "And I'm dead."

  I had no idea what to say to that. How am I meant to comfort him? "Doctor..."

  He sniffed and then turned away. "Sorry, I'm being a downer right now..."

  I grabbed his arm. "Doctor." I had no idea what to say. "It's okay to be afraid..." I finally said. "I'm scared too. I just saw my future. I saw myself died in pain...in her arms. And I'm scared." Oh, hell, what am I saying to him? Why am I being a downer too? I should try to comfort him instead of burdening him with my trouble. But as I said those words, I realized I am terrified of dying, especially since it look like it was really painful.

  "(name)..."

  I closed my eyes, feeling annoyed with myself. "I'm sorry, I'm no good at this. I want to make you feel better." I opened my eyes and stared at him. God, why can't I think of something really good to say to him? I felt like I want to cry in frustration. I wanted to comfort him so badly.

  The Doctor smiled at me and said, "It's okay, (name), you don't have to say anything..." He put one hand over mine, rubbing my palm.

  Without thinking, I pulled him to me and I hugged him tight.

  He wrapped his arms around, returning the embrace.

  We released each other with soft smile toward each other.

   "We will be okay..." I finally said. I wish I have enough conviction with my words. But at that moment, that is the only thing I can say. 

  He didn't reply. He sniffed again. "Okay, enough of that, tell me what's been happening to you?"

  I stared at him, unsure if talking about me is a good distraction. Eventually, I told him about my last visit to the Eleventh Doctor. To his credit, he didn't flinch at the mention of his direct alternate regeneration. But he was surprised when I mention about River.

  "River? River Song?"

  "Yeah." I confirmed before I groaned. "Damn, did I just spoiler you too somehow?"

  "No...it was fine..." He trailed. He has a faraway look again in his eyes. "So, what's that? Project Splinter, is it?"

  I nodded.

  "I'm going to check it out on my ends too." He said.

  "Doctor..." I could felt the tingling again. I was reluctant to leave this version of the Doctor. "Don't be alone, Doctor. Please find someone." I said. "Take care of yourself."

  "(name)..." He realized that I was about to leave. He looked sad. "You too..."

   tags: @thatsonezesty13, @gracie-and-the-superwholock-gang

  A/N2: Oh this is a right mess-up, isn't it? I don't know if this is good. I mean I suppose I have some fun writing it but I agonized over whether this will be good enough at least. Gosh, I honestly couldn't understand what I am writing right now. Project splinter is something I borrowed a fusion from my favorite show 12 monkeys but not a direct crossover. Jennifer Goines is my favorite character in that show, she was awesome. I was hoping to write a primary!reader being the Doctor's ward someday. Maybe never. I'm kinda fried. I don't know if I could write for part four or any other story again. I wish to be productive but I'm sad now.

If you like this story, feedback will be very appreciated, thanks.

Once again, thank you to those who read all or some of my stories and has leave like/comment/reblog. You are all awesome. You made my days bearable. 

#13th doctor x reader #thirteenth doctor x reader #doctor who x reader #doctor who fanfiction #thirteenth doctor imagine #twelfth doctor imagine #eleventh doctor imagine #tenth doctor imagine #ninth doctor imagine #shiefenwrites

[frmartinshomiliesandreflections]

29th April >> Fr. Martin’s Reflections / Homilies 0n Matthew 11:25-30 for the Feast of Catherine of Siena, Virgin, Doctor: ‘Come to me, all you who labour’.

Feast of Catherine of Siena, Virgin, Doctor

Gospel (Except USA)

Matthew 11:25-30

You have hidden these things from the wise and revealed them to little children

Jesus exclaimed, ‘I bless you, Father, Lord of heaven and of earth, for hiding these things from the learned and the clever and revealing them to mere children. Yes, Father, for that is what it pleased you to do. Everything has been entrusted to me by my Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father, just as no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

   ‘Come to me, all you who labour and are overburdened, and I will give you rest. Shoulder my yoke and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Yes, my yoke is easy and my burden light.’

Gospel (USA)

Matthew 11:25-30

You have hidden these things from the wise and the learned and have revealed them to the childlike.

At that time Jesus responded: “I give praise to you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for although you have hidden these things from the wise and the learned you have revealed them to the childlike. Yes, Father, such has been your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son wishes to reveal him.

   “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

Reflections (5)

(i) Feast of Saint Catherine of Sienna

Catherine was a truly extraordinary woman. She was born into tumultuous times (1347-1380). The Black Death prowled the land; armies fought each other on behalf of their client-cities; the Pope had left Rome for Avignon. She came from a prosperous family and her parents wanted her to marry well. However, she felt strongly called to live as the bride of Christ. She lived a life of solitary prayer for three years before re-joining her family and working with the sick, the poor, prisoners and plague victims. After a powerful, ecstatic experience of Christ in 1374, she commenced her public role, mediating in an armed conflict between the city of Florence and the Avignon-based papacy. She travelled to Avignon to Pope Gregory XI insisting that he return to Rome. Her mission was a surprising success. However, shortly after his return to Rome, Gregory died. The College of Cardinals elected Urban VI who turned out disastrously. The cardinals, regretting their choice, elected another Pope, but failed to persuade Urban to retire. The church now had two rival Popes. Catherine remained loyal to Urban, judging that for all his faults he had been validly elected. Shortly before her death she had a vision in which it seemed as if the church like a mighty ship was being placed on her back. She died at the age of thirty three. Catherine was both a mystic and a woman of the world, who served those in greatest need and involved herself in the great issues of church and state of the day. The gospel reading is very suited to her feast. Jesus speaks both as a mystic and as one who serves those who are overburdened. He blesses God his Father, as one who knows the Father in a way no one else does, just as his Father knows him as no one else does. Jesus also speaks as one who invites all who are overburdened to come to him for rest. His intimate relationship with God flows over into a loving and caring relationship with all who struggle under heavy burdens. Catherine, like Jesus, was a mystic in action. We are all called to be mystics in action, people who are called into an intimate relationship with God and his Son and then sent to live out of that relationship by bringing God’s rest and loving presence to all who are in need of it.

And/Or

(ii) Feast of Saint Catherine of Siena

Catherine was a mystic, and like other great mystics, she enjoyed an intimate relationship with Christ. In the gospel reading, Jesus declares that ‘no one knows the Son except the Father’. Yet, Jesus also declares in that gospel reading that the Father reveals these things to mere children. The Father reveals the Son to those who become like little children, those who, like Catherine, are deeply aware of their dependence on God and are completely open to all that God can give us. We are all called to know the Son as the Father does; in that sense, we are all called to be mystics to some degree. The Lord’s invitation, ‘Come to me, all who labour and are overburdened’, is addressed to all of us. He calls out to all of us to come to him, to come to know and love him as he knows and loves us. Catherine’s mysticism did not withdraw her from the world; she was deeply involved in what was happening in Europe and in the church in her time. After a profound mystical experience she had a sense of Christ calling her to serve the wider world and universal church. She commenced her role as a public figure, dictating hundreds of letters to popes, monarchs and other letters of note. When the Lord calls us to himself it is not to take us out of the world but to send us into the world afire with the flame of his love.  

 And/Or

(iii) Feast of Saint Catherine of Siena

Catherine was one of the great mystics of the church. She was born in 1347 and died in 1380, at the age of thirty three. At a young age, she decided to give herself to the Lord, and she resisted the attempts of her family to find her a good husband. Rather than joining a religious order, she became a Dominican tertiary. After a three year period of prayer and seclusion she set about serving her neighbours, distributing alms to the poor, ministering to the sick and to prisoners. After a profound mystical experience she had a sense of Christ calling her to serve the wider world and universal church. She commenced her role as a public figure, dictating hundreds of letters to popes, monarchs and other letters of note. She also wrote her great work, the Dialogues, describing the contents of her mystical conversations with Christ. Catherine’s mysticism did not withdraw her from the world; she was deeply involved in what was happening in Europe and in the church in her time. She persuaded Pope Gregory XI to return to Rome from Avignon. She insisted that the Pope’s place was beside the bones of the martyrs. Shortly after his return, Pope Gregory died. He was succeeded by Pope Urban VI who turned out to be a disastrous Pope. The cardinals regretted their decision and elected a second Pope but could not persuade Pope Urban to retire. The church now had two Popes, one in Rome and one in Avignon, a situation that was to last for several decades. Catherine remained faithful to Urban, in spite of his faults, because he had been duly elected. She was convinced that the wound in the body of Christ could only be healed by great sacrifice. She prayed that she might atone for the sins of the church, and shortly afterwards collapsed and died. Catherine stood out as a beacon of light in a dark time. That is the calling of each one of us. We are all called to be mystics to some degree. The Lord’s invitation, ‘Come to me, all who labour and are overburdened’, is addressed to us all. He calls out to all of us to come to him, to know and love him as he knows and loves us. In calling us to himself he also sends us into the world afire with the flame of his love.

 And/Or

(iv) Feast of Saint Catherine of Siena

Catherine was one of the great mystics of the church. She was born in 1347, the daughter of a prosperous wool dyer, and died in 1380, at the age of thirty three. At a young age, she decided to give herself to the Lord, and she resisted the attempts of her family to find her a good husband. She insisted that she was betrothed to Christ. Eventually, her father relented. Rather than joining a religious order, she became a Dominican tertiary. For a three year period she devoted herself to prayer and seclusion. Early on in this period, she was tormented by doubt, but this gave way to mystical encounters with Christ. After three years, she began the second great phase of her career. She set about serving her neighbours, distributing alms to the poor, ministering to the sick and to prisoners. She began gathering a group of followers about herself, men and women, priests and religious. After a profoundly mystical experience she had a sense of Christ calling her to take a further step, to serve the wider world and universal church. She commenced her role as a public figure, dictating hundreds of letters to popes, monarchs and other leaders of note. She also wrote her great work, the Dialogues, describing the contents of her mystical conversations with Christ. Theses writings were dictated by her as she only learnt to write towards the very end of her life. It is evident that Catherine’s mysticism did not withdraw her from the world. She was deeply involved in what was happening in Europe and in the church in her time. Because of the chaos and dangers of Rome, the Popes had left Rome for Avignon. She worked to persuade Pope Gregory XI to return to Rome from Avignon. She insisted that the Pope’s place was beside the bones of the martyrs. Her mission in person to the Pope was a surprising success. Shortly after his return, Pope Gregory died. He was succeeded by Pope Urban VI who turned out to be a disastrous Pope. The cardinals regretted their decision and elected a second Pope but could not persuade Pope Urban to retire. The church now had two rival  Popes, one in Rome and one in Avignon, a situation that was to last for several decades. Catherine remained faithful to Urban, in spite of his faults, because he had been duly elected. She was convinced that the wound in the body of Christ could only be healed by great sacrifice. She prayed that she might atone for the sins of the church, and shortly afterwards collapsed and died. Catherine stood out as a beacon of light in a dark time in Europe and in the church. She was such a light because of her deeply personal and mystical relationship with Jesus. The Lord’s invitation, ‘Come to me, all who labour and are overburdened’, was one she responded to every day of her life. Her life shows us very clearly that the life of faith has both an inward and outward dimension. The Lord calls out to all of us to come to him, to know and love him as he knows and loves us. In calling us to himself he also sends us into the world afire with the flame of his love. Pope Paul VI declared her a Doctor of the Church in 1970. In doing so he was stating that her life and writings have something important to say to the church of every generation.

 And/Or

(v) Feast of Saint Catherine of Siena

When Jesus declares in today’s gospel reading, ‘my yoke is easy and my burden light’, he is saying that his teaching, his understanding of God’s will, is not something burdensome. Rather, his teaching is liberating and life-enhancing. If his teaching is received and lived, it lightens the burden of oppression; it brings joy. That is not to say that Jesus’ teaching is not demanding. His teaching is demanding but not burdensome. That is because Jesus does not ask us to live his teaching out our own strength alone. He empowers us to live out his teaching. In today’s gospel reading, Jesus does not say, ‘Come to my teaching’, but ‘Come to me’. He doesn’t say, ‘learn my teaching’, but ‘learn from me’. He calls us into a personal relationship with himself. Earlier in that gospel reading, Jesus spoke about the intimate relationship he has with God his Father, ‘No one knows the Son except the Father, just as no one knows the Father except the Son’. Yet, this is not a closed relationship. Jesus wants to share with each one of us his own very intimate relationship with God; he wants to draw us into his own personal relationship with God, his Father. He wants to reveal his Father to us, to share the love of the Father with us. ‘Come to me’, Jesus says, and through me come to the Father. It is in coming to him and his Father that we receive his Spirit, the Holy Spirit, and so are empowered to live his teaching and, thereby, to become fully alive as human beings and his joyful servants in the world. This two-fold movement of coming to Jesus and going forth in his strength expresses well the contemplative and active dimension of the Christian life. We are called to be contemplatives in action, like Catherine of Siena. Catherine was a great mystic or contemplative, but her mysticism did not withdraw her from the world. She was deeply involved in what was happening in Europe and in the church in her time. Catherine stood out as a beacon of light in a dark time in Europe and in the church. She was such a light because of her deeply personal and mystical relationship with Jesus.

Fr. Martin Hogan.

[jackoshadows]

Maybe I missed something in fandom discourse, but why is it suddenly a big deal that Arya did not go for a carriage ride with Cersei? Cersei certainly did not care that Arya was not there. Ned did not lose out on any big political deals because Arya did not go on the trip. So what’s the issue here? Why is this a thing?

And the ‘she didn’t have enough information!’ excuse to justify Sansa’s lack of empathy is just tiresome at this point.

Mycah shook his head. “It’s only a stick, m’lord. It’s not no sword, it’s only a stick.”

“And you’re only a butcher’s boy, and no knight.” Joffrey lifted Lion’s Tooth and laid its point on Mycah’s cheek below the eye, as the butcher’s boy stood trembling. “That was my lady’s sister you were hitting, do you know that?”

A bright bud of blood blossomed where his sword pressed into Mycah’s flesh, and a slow red line trickled down the boy’s cheek. “Stop it!” Arya screamed. She grabbed up her fallen stick.

“I won’t hurt him… much,” Prince Joffrey told Arya, never taking his eyes off the butcher’s boy.

What extra information does Sansa need here to realize that Joffrey is sadistically torturing another child for fun? Considering Sansa had no empathy for Mycah even after he was murdered - chased like an animal  and cut in half by the Hound - what more information did she need here to know right from wrong?

Look at it this way. Put 14/15 year old politically savvy Robb Stark or Jon Snow in that situation. Do you think they would have reacted to what Joffrey was doing to Mycah in any way different than 9 year old Arya? Would Bran would have done differently? Let’s put an adult in that situation. Do you think Brienne of Tarth would have stood by and done nothing if she saw Joffrey torturing another child?

It’s not even an age thing, because it’s a question of basic empathy, morals, knowing right from wrong and this is a thing that science has showed human beings develop even as toddlers. Sansa stans often talk about how they relate to her because she’s ‘realistic’ as opposed to the magical/fantasy characters like Arya and Dany. Well here’s some realism for you:

Researchers found that children, like adults, show responses to pain in the same areas of their brains. The research also found additional aspects of the brain activated in children, when youngsters saw another person intentionally hurt by another individual.

"This study is the first to examine in young children both the neural response to pain in others and the impact of someone causing pain to someone else," said Jean Decety, Professor in the Departments of Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Chicago.

The programming for empathy is something that is "hard-wired" into the brains of normal children, and not entirely the product of parental guidance or other nurturing, said Decety.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/07/080711080957.htm

Arya instinctively jumping in to stop Joffrey hurting Mycah is what’s real here. Sansa’s ‘empathy’ is reserved for the sadist here, not for the victim in all this.

After they had gone, Sansa went to Prince Joffrey. His eyes were closed in pain, his breath ragged. Sansa knelt beside him. “Joffrey,” she sobbed. “Oh, look what they did, look what they did. My poor prince. Don’t be afraid. I’ll ride to the holdfast and bring help for you.” Tenderly she reached out and brushed back his soft blond hair.

Again, let’s take a look at her interaction with Maester Coleman:

“Give his lordship a cup of sweetmilk,” she told the maester. “That will stop him from shaking on the journey down.”

“He had a cup not three days past,” Colemon objected.

“And wanted another last night, which you refused him.”

“It was too soon. My lady, you do not understand. As I’ve told the Lord Protector, a pinch of sweetsleep will prevent the shaking, but it does not leave the flesh, and in time…”

What is confusing about this? The doctor is telling her that sweetsleep is dangerous for Sweetrobin in the long term and does not want to frequently dose him with it. Does Sansa need 10 peer reviewed research papers on this before understanding that this drug is dangerous for her little cousin? This is what Sansa thinks to herself:

Maester Coleman cares only for the boy though. Father and I have larger concerns

Clearly indicating she knows this drug is not good for SweetRobin, but that LF’s games with the Vale Lords to ensure their plans work is what’s more important.

Also, Sansa is 13 here and yet she is excused for not having enough information while 9 year old Arya is castigated for not being politically aware enough to go on a carriage ride with Cersei! The hypocrisy.

Let’s take Sansa’s conversation with Ned Stark:

Father’s mouth twitched strangely. “Sansa, I’m not sending you away for fighting, though the gods know I’m sick of you two squabbling. I want you back in Winterfell for your own safety. Three of my men were cut down like dogs not a league from where we sit, and what does Robert do? He goes hunting.”

“Sweet one,” her father said gently, “listen to me. When you’re old enough, I will make you a match with a high lord who’s worthy of you, someone brave and gentle and strong. This match with Joffrey was a terrible mistake. That boy is no Prince Aemon, you must believe me.”

To the girls he said, “I am looking for a fast trading galley to take you home. These days, the sea is safer than the kingsroad. You will sail as soon as I can find a proper ship, with Septa Mordane and a complement of guards… and yes, with Syrio Forel, if he agrees to enter my service. But say nothing of this. It’s better if no one knows of our plans. We’ll talk again tomorrow.”

Again, Ned let’s Sansa know that it’s dangerous in KL for both girls, that he was sending them home for their safety and to not let anyone know about their plans. What more should Ned explain to his 11 year old daughter to get her to comply? What more information does Sansa need here to obey her father? At this point she knows Cersei ordered her beloved pet wolf killed! Why would she think Cersei is a better person that her father?

Like, just think about it for a second. Children love animals. They love their pets. Would a child trust someone who killed their pet? But Sansa trusts Cersei more than she does Ned!

Is it that hard to admit that Sansa was a selfish, spoiled brat in the first book? A classist bully who lacked basic empathy and looked down on the smallfolk? Who valued appearances over principle? Who betrayed her family because she wanted to be queen and lord over her little sister? It’s all there in the books!

I would appreciate her stans more if they would just admit that yes Sansa is all this and we like her this way instead of blaming every other character in the books for her actions.

#Arya Stark #Sansa Stark #Ned Stark

[prettywordsyouleft]

Down By The Lake - Part 2

Summary: It was only meant to be a stolen moment between you and your lover Daehyun and ended with him framed for murdering your best friend. With the assistance of your aloof friend Inspector Bang, could you find the real culprit called The Pauper, in time to clear Daehyun’s name?

Pairing: Jung Daehyun x reader ft. Bang Yongguk

Genre: murder mystery / periodic au / horror-ish

Warnings: murder / death / dark content given the nature of the storyline

Down By The Lake will be shared daily at 10am NZST.

Preview | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

It didn’t take long for the scene to turn into complete chaos.

Your scream had alerted those within earshot and before you could ask Daehyun to help you remove Lucy from the lake, there were multiple people before you shouting different commands. You were grabbed suddenly and you struggled within their grip, reaching out for Daehyun who was being dragged off in the opposite direction.

“Wait, no! What are you doing?!”

“Calm down, my Lady!”

“How did you get into this state?!”

“You’re safe now!”

“I was safe a moment ago!” you stated, shivering with the cold seeping into your undergarments. “Let him go! He was with me!”

“Precisely and we need to protect you from him!”

“No, I mean! Oh, this is ridiculous, let me go and listen!” you exclaimed, shoving a man off of you roughly and dashing out of the water after Daehyun struggling against his four captors. “Let him go this instance! That is an order!”

“Y/N!” a voice called sternly and you whipped about, bursting into another wave of emotions. Rushing to your father’s side, you took his hand and shook it rapidly. “Father, they are taking away an innocent man!”

“Where are your clothes?!” he breathed, looking around at all the men who quickly darted their attention to the ground. “Find my daughter something to cover up with!”

“Father!”

“Y/N, are you hurt? Come with me, this is a dangerous place!”

“WHY WILL YOU NOT LISTEN?!”

“Now, my dear, you are growing hysterical. Someone, fetch a doctor! My daughter has fallen ill!”

Despite the apparent shiver coursing throughout your body, you grew desperate to be heard. “Please Daddy, Daehyun and I overheard the—and Lucy struggled and—”

You choked on your distraught sobs, clasping a hand to your mouth in hopes to settle them, only noticing the blood upon your skin when you pulled away. It all became too much for you and you stumbled, unseeing from that moment as everything turned dark.    

“Daehyun!”

You sat up with a start, blinking rapidly as your private chambers came into focus. Looking to the right where you heard movement, you groaned when your lady maid rushed to your side. “Oh no, my Lady. Please lie back down, you are awfully pale.”

“I am perfectly well, Clare,” you corrected, gently pushing her encouraging hand away. “I need to get ready at once.”

“Your father insists you rest until the doctor is back later today. It’s only been three days since-”                                                                                        

“Three days?!” you echoed in horror, throwing the blankets aside and ignoring Clare’s whimpering protests. “Why have I been in here for so long?! I need to go to the station immediately! What have you of the stable hand that was with me that night?”

“I fear I have no information to give you, my Lady. Investigators have been here every day, eager for you to wake up.”

“Send word that I am now alert and ready to communicate,” you instructed, approaching the mirror across the room and stared at your reflection. You folded your arms across your bosom, determined to rectify the situation immediately.

However, it appeared no one was ready to listen to you seriously. Investigator Moore nodded apathetically in your direction once you were done explaining what happened that evening.

“Yes, about the young man you were found with, how long have you been acquainted?”

You frowned. “Well, some weeks. I believe he arrived here just before spring.”

“And how long has he courted you?”

Your father gasped into a handkerchief. “Investigator!”

“Apologies, my Lord, it must be spoken of. Your daughter just admitted to grave connections with the man. I fear he may have corrupted her.”

“Honestly!” you remarked, shaking your head incredulously at the pair. “Corrupted?!”

“Has he taken from your body?”

“Sir,” the companying officer breathed and the older man nodded gruffly. “Just answer the question.”

“I approached him!” you confessed, trying not to look in the direction of your father now heaving visibly. “It was I, not him, who made the first move.”

“Y/N, enough. She is not of the right mind-”

“I am perfectly sane right now. I demand to see Daehyun at once.”

“Afraid not, my Lady, he’s not in an area where visitations are allowed.”

“You have convicted him of a crime he has not done!”

“He is the only suspect we have. This is the fourth killing this year of young women from the upper-class society. Surely, you have suspicions.”

“Yes, that there is a killer who walked right by Daehyun and I. He was with me at the time! I heard it all! Did you not listen when I expressed this the first time?!”

Investigator Moore nodded once more, mumbling to himself. “Perhaps she’s right.”

“I am!”

“If you heard it then, why did you do nothing to help the poor girl? Why, you could be an accomplice!”

“I am nothing of the sort! I went to and then…”

“And then?” your father prompted as you stilled, trying to wrap your mind around it.

“And Daehyun held me back. I believe for my safety!”

“So you could have stopped the killer from murdering your best friend, could you have not?”

You gripped at your skirt, blinking rapidly to replay the scene. Daehyun had definitely looked troubled as he held you back. But why? You were certain it was to protect you, to keep you from seeing something so ghastly in person. Not that seeing Lucy after had been any easier on your wits but at least, you hadn’t been put at risk either.

Your life wasn’t any more valuable than hers and had you known, you would have leapt in front to save her. Was Daehyun aware of this and that was why he stopped you?

Or could he have seen what was happening and… chosen to allow it to continue?

You struggled with this new thought process, tears welling in your round eyes. You had believed him to be honest, hard-working, humble and much more fun than the boring over-exaggerative Viscounts and Earls you were used to spending time with.

But could he have been more dangerous than a simple stable hand? Your hand rose to your mouth as you began to tremble.

Investigator Moore grinned. “Well, my Lady, that will be all for today, don’t you think?”

You were now seen as the living victim of Lucy’s murder. You went from being someone people talked about with envy to that of the girl they pitied, and rumours began to mill around. Most pointing that you would be next to meet The Pauper. It should have filled you with chills and have you barricaded within your house until he was captured.

And yet, the fact that you had too many questions and not enough answers had you knocking on the door of an aloof inspector’s house desperately until an old man swung it open midway, clearing his throat disapprovingly. “It is Sunday, madam.”

“I am aware of the day; however, I am in need of speaking with Inspector Bang today if it is alright. Please, I sent word ahead of my visit.”

“And surely you would have received notice if he had been inclined to an intrusion today.”

“It is quite alright, Percy,” a deep voice called from within and you smiled with relief. The owner of the house stepped into view and gave you a half-smile. “Y/N will never leave us be unless we let her in. Come, I am sure you have much to inform me of.”

“Have you seen him by chance?” you asked when you were done explaining all you knew to Yongguk, his expression unreadable. You took a distracted sip from the teacup you had held onto as if your life depended on it this entire time. Yongguk remained unmoving and you placed it down with a jostle, tea sloshing over into the saucer. “Stop with this silence! I know if there is anyone in this world who will listen to me right now, it is you. Everyone else sees me as a mere woman who has gone particularly mad after seeing a dead body.”

He finally smirked. “Anyone who knows you personally will understand you have been mad for much longer.”

“I am not here for your amusement, dearest,” you muttered though it did relieve your nerves having Yongguk respond like that. It meant he was listening and taking what you said seriously.

Unlike everyone else.

“He is alive. For how long, I do not know. The commissioner wants to label Daehyun as The Pauper. He fits the bill. He is a mere stable hand. The weapon used by the killer is a tool found in most stables. And so far all he has done is attack daughters of the elite. Being found with one of the most influential unwedded young women in our county makes it even more suspicious.”

“Except, if he was the killer why am I still alive and who murdered Lucy whilst I was with him?” you questioned and Yongguk smiled.

“He could have lured you and hired an accomplice for the evening so he could kill you next. Or there’s a copycat and you were always the main prey.”

“Perhaps we could also consider Daehyun as innocent!” you demanded and Yongguk nodded easily.

“Yes, yes, innocent until proven guilty. However, how many of the lower class gets that privilege? He’ll have a week left at most.”

“A week?! Surely we can find proof in the meantime! Please, Yongguk, I swear to you, I know he is innocent. I had my suspicions for only a moment and I simply cannot believe someone I got to know intimately could be a killer!”

Yongguk’s eyes popped and he coughed a couple of times, your gaze darting to your lap at how he had taken your words. With cheeks blazing, you shook your head. “I am not meaning in that manner!”

“No, I would expect nothing of the sort,” he responded, strained with embarrassment.

“I have already been labelled as tainted and yet no one believes me for the words I speak that are truthful, just those that lead them to think I have sullied my family name all because I was found in my undergarments.”

“I believe in you, Y/N,” Yongguk announced sincerely, leaning forward in his chair to catch your gaze. He smiled determinedly. “I want to catch the killer myself as well, so shall we join hands in solving this case together?”

You nodded, holding out your hand in agreement. “I will assist in any way I can so long as we can clear Daehyun’s name.”

_________________

Part 3

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