#Haykyuu | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

novanekoma · 4 years

Text

I miss you

pt 2: here

☼ I miss you

☼ tetsuro kuroo x reader

☼ song: Betty by Taylor Swift

☼ summary: main lyric of inspiration: I’m only seventeen, I don’t know anything, but I know I miss you

☼ status: ongoing, maybe? I have an idea of doing one from the reader’s pov, if anyone is interested

☼ genre: angst, teenage love,

☼ warnings: mentions of cheating, cursing, some slight suggestive themes, hints of cliché moments

☼ word count: 3.1k

☼ disclaimer: haikyuu, the music and any other assets used in this fic, DO NOT belong to me, all credit goes to their respective owners

☼ A/N: So… as I was working on finishing the first part of always you, taylor swift released a new surprise album and I cannot get the song betty out of my head! it just squeezes my heart and is absolutely breathtaking. Especially when I found out that cardigan and august are linked to this song, I immediately got an idea for this fic and I was going back and forth between whether I wanted to write it about bakugo or kuroo, but in the end my main squeeze kuroo won. I hope if you take a chance and read this, that you enjoy it!

Also thank you to all the new followers! I appreciate everyone who has liked and reblogged always you ☼ I will have the first part up soon!

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

"God y/n, I don't know how it happened I- I-"

"Kuroo-"

"Please, you have to know I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry."

"I know you are, but right now, in this moment, it's just not enough."

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

betty, I won’t make assumptions about why you switched your homeroom, but I think it’s cause of me

Kuroo let out a small sigh, the ticking clock of the classroom echoing louder in his ears as each minute passed. The teacher droned on about something that he couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to, he was passing with flying colours anyway. Instead, his focus was on the empty desk by the window a row in front of him. A newly empty desk, one that had previously been filled by a certain someone. A memory of you sitting there, turning back to smile at him during class flashed in his mind.

His hand slipped into his pocket to bring out the photo that had been by his side for the last couple months. The photo was slightly withered, his index finger moving to play with the crease forming at the bottom of the polaroid. A little caption scrawled underneath in your handwriting, July 13th kuroo x y/n; you with an elated smile across your face as he pressed into your side, an arm thrown around your shoulder as he leaned in and gave you a sweet kiss on the cheek. He remembered the way you giggled and the pretty red blush that spread across your cheeks as he stole more kisses from you that day.

betty, one time I was riding on my skateboard when I passed your house it’s like I couldn’t breathe

The bell was what broke him from his thoughts, the piercing shriek that indicated that class was over, and thankfully so was the school day. Kuroo quickly packed up his things, carefully placing the photo back into his pocket, before slinging his bag over his shoulder. He tried to leave the class as quick as possible, being one of the first out of the classroom- and his breath caught in his throat once he made it into the hallway. His eyes quickly spotted you coming out of your new classroom, naturally being drawn to where you were. You were laughing at something one of your friends was saying as you exited the classroom, completely missing him, or ignoring him, as you continued down the hallway.

you heard the rumors from Inez you can’t believe a word she says most times, but this time it was true the worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you

His heart clenched as his eyes followed you, memories of you walking down that same hallway with your hand entwined with his as you planned your weekend together flashed through his mind, the little dimples on the apples of your cheeks deepening as you smiled at him was the image he was stuck on as you disappeared around the corner.

Coming around that same corner was her, memories of secret meetings and tangled bedsheets bubbled up, God what an idiot he had been. He shook his head, hand clenched in anger as he thought back to where it all went wrong. Kuroo quickly turned on his heel before she noticed him and made a break for the gym where volleyball practice was being held.

Shouts of, “Kuroo!” echoed as he walked into the gym, his team already beginning to warm up as he made his way toward the change rooms. He used to love this place, being here and practicing new plays with the team, but the gym was also where you two went to steal a moment alone together. Memories of stolen kisses and make out sessions locked in the storage room, sweet words and laughter rang through his mind as a familiar warmth that always came with thoughts of you spread through his very soul.

betty, I know where it all went wrong your favourite song was playing I was nowhere to be found I hate the crowds, you know that plus, I saw you dance with him

The memory that hit him the hardest was the moment he almost let you slip away, it happened here in the gym during one of the Nekoma vs. Karasuno practice games where their captain Daichi, started flirting with you. He could recall the exact moment he saw you two together, you were collecting a stray nekoma ball when Daichi caught your attention. Kuroo remembered the way he tensed when he saw the dimpled smile that was usually reserved for him being used on the brunette male as he made you laugh and stood closer to you than Kuroo was comfortable with. Kuroo ran a hand down his face, letting out a deep breath as he shoved open the door to the locker room.

Tying his volleyball shoes up in the change room was Kenma, his best friend, who was surprisingly on time for practice. As Kuroo got ready for practice, the tactical pudding head scrutinized his best friend.

“You’re still thinking about y/n.”

It wasn’t a question, Kenma could already see it in Kuroo’s eyes. He knew his best friend like the back of his hand and there was a hidden anguish in Kuroo’s calculating gaze. The darker haired boy didn’t say anything, which only confirmed the blonde’s statement.

Kenma sighed, blonde hair falling over his face as he stood, “You fucked up.”

The older boy harshly put his gym shirt on as a glare was sent Kenma’s way, “I think I fucking know that,” Kuroo spit, not meaning to get so angry with his friend, but god he knew, he fucking knew how much he messed up. Every time he thought about it, all he wanted to do was rip his hair out in the frustration that came along with it.

There was a moment of silence as the two stared at one another.

“Now that you’ve processed it, what are you going to do about it?”

Kuroo sighed, plopping down on one of the benches, his head falling back and hitting the wall behind him as his eyes closed.

“What the fuck can I do? y/n won’t even look at me, let alone talk to me,” he muttered. Not that he could blame you, if the roles were reversed… he moved an arm to cover his eyes as his heart clenched again. He would not let the tears out here, not before he had to run practice.

Kuroo felt movement beside him and looked only to confirm that Kenma came to sit next to him.

“You fucked up, badly, but that doesn’t make you a bad person.”

Kuroo laughed scathingly, “Then what kind of person does that make me?” he muttered sarcastically.

“One that made a mistake,” Kenma started, “One that’s sorry. One that has learned from his huge fuck up, but is about to let the best thing that’s ever happened to him slip away because he's not willing to fight for them.”

Kuroo didn’t answer, not willing to fight? After what I did, I don’t deserve to.

Another beat of silence.

“You know, y/n is throwing a party for all the third years, one last welcome back party since you’re all graduating. ”

Kuroo peeked an eye out, but all he saw was the blonde boy leaving the change room.

but if I showed up at your party would you have me? would you want me? would you tell to go fuck myself or lead me to the garden?

in the garden, would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing? I’m only seventeen, I don’t know anything but I know I miss you

The scheming captains thought’s began to circulate, what if… god there were so many. He shook his head, composing himself before leaving the change room; he just missed you so fucking much.

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

Lately, the walk home was always the worst for Kuroo, before you quit being the manager, (which he knew was his fault), this would be a walk you would take together. Kenma lagging behind as he usually did while playing a game as the two of you walked a little bit ahead, laughing and making jokes with one another as you walked hand in hand, stealing a kiss every so often as you paused to cross a street or wait for Kenma to catch up. The pure love and adoration that he would bask in, knowing you saw the same thing reflected in his own gaze.

Of course, it had to be on this walk where things went wrong.

I was walking home on broken cobblestones just thinking of you when she pulled up like a figment of my worst intention she said “James, get in, let’s drive” those days turned into nights slept next to her, but I dreamt of you all summer long

A different set of lips moving in synch with his, a different pair of hands roaming his form as they tumbled in her sheets. Never going too far, just far enough. Lithe fingers running through his dark hair, tugging on the long strands, moaning his name as he peppered kisses along her neck, the bite marks he left on her skin as she left angry red scratches down his back. The guilt of what he was doing to you pushed further into his mind as she kissed down his chest, leaving her own marks to claim him as hers, even though he belonged to you.

As he lay on his bed, Kuroo roughly wiped the tears that fell from his eyes. The picture of the two of you clutched to his chest as he stared up at the ceiling. Not stopping the thoughts that infiltrated his mind, the sinful things he did toher when he was supposed to be loving you. They tore it his heart bit by bit as he thought about all the times, each day he allowed himself to sink further into the betrayal. He was just as disgusted with himself now.

Even with those thoughts, he fucking missed you. The memories he wanted to remember were the ones of you kissing his neck, pressing the sweetest kiss on the spot just under his ear, the one you knew drove him absolutely insane. His hands running down your form, memorizing every curve and dip of your body as you pressed closer to him, arms tightening around his neck as your lips moved in perfect chemistry. The way you would arch into him whenever he pressed a kiss to the center of your collarbone, leaving little love bites as he trailed the skin up to your neck

Kuroo threw his arm over his eyes again, letting the tears slip out.

He missed you so fucking much, he missed the way you laughed at his science jokes while you studied together, he missed the way you bit your lip in concentration as you tried to solve a problem and the way you would get so focused you barely processed what was happening around you. He missed the way you held out your hand from him whenever you walked somewhere together, the way your fingers fit perfectly with his. The way you turned red when you walked hand in hand to the gym for practice and the whole team would tease you, no matter how many times it happened. That pretty red blush spreading across your cheeks, your dimples deepening as you smiled up at him, only causing the teasing to get louder when he would lean down to kiss you, because you looked too damn cute not to.

He missed the way you would cuddle up next to him as you watched movies, the reactions you had when certain scenes flashed across the screen. He missed how the two of you would play games together with Kenma, the way your brow furrowed whenever you tried to make a tarantula island, and the triumphant grin that graced your lips whenever you caught one, your eyes shining as they caught his, practically vibrating with happiness and excitement.

He missed the way the two of you would just lay together, talking about everything and nothing all at once, you tucked into his side so perfectly as your hands lay together on his chest. Your head tucked under his neck as you talked about the future and all the thing you were going to be and do together. The way you kissed him sweetly and told him to get home safe, watching from your window until he disappeared down the street because you wanted to make sure he was okay walking home.

A person who is going to let the best thing that’s ever happened to him slip away…

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

“You look fine.”

Kenma didn’t even look up as he continued to play a game on the switch, his dark eyes trained on the screen. Kuroo ran a hand through his hair, taking one last look in the mirror before looking at the blonde on his bed.

Kuroo let out a breath, “I’m ready.”

Was he really about to do this? Today was the day for the welcome back party, Yaku and Kai were already there. They sent text of encouragement and let him know there was a rumor going around that the Karasuno third years would also make an appearance.

Kenma nodded his head, looking up from his game to meet Kuroo’s eyes, “Then get going.”

betty, I’m here on your doorstep and I planned it out for weeks now but it’s finally sinkin’ in betty, right now is the last time I can dream about what happens when you see my face again

“Tetsu! Stop!” You were laughing as he brushed his fingers over your waist, tickling your sides and making tears of laughter stream down your face as you tried to push him off.

“Sorry? Keep going? If you insist,” he teased, digging his hands into your sides even more, causing hysterical laughter to fall from your lips. Your stomach was hurting from laughing so much, your face pink with mirth as you reached up to place your hands on his chest in a weak attempt to push him off. The grin on his face matched yours and when you reached up and swiftly tugged his face forward, successfully stopping his tickling attempts in order to kiss the breath right out of you. Only for you to turn the tables and flip him onto his back.

“I think I won that round,” you said, grinning proudly down at him as you straddled his waist, knees on either side of him.

He laughed, “I don’t know kitten, from this position, I think I’m the real winner here,” moving his hands onto your waist and squeezing your hips as if that proved his point.

Your face immediately went beet red and Kuroo took the time to memorize the expression on your face, the smile you had on despite the blush you were trying to control. He loved when you were flustered, that he could make you feel that way, you were the cutest thing…

“Tetsu!”

You laughed against his lips, his arms had snuck around and tugged you down towards him so he could kiss you again.

“I love you Tetsu”

“You have my entire heart y/n”

Each step toward your house, each thought, each memory of you, fueled Kuroo’s resolve. Thoughts of you swirling in his mind, he knew he had to at least try, you meant more to him than he could describe.

the only thing I wanna do is make it up to you

God, he could imagine it now, the best possible outcome. Apologizing to you, grovelling, explaining and doing everything in his power to show how much he loved you, wanted you. He would do anything and everything in his power to show you that he wanted your forgiveness, that he would work every single day to get your trust back, to earn the right to call you his again. You were worth that, he knew that now more than anything.

“Hey Tetsu,”

He hummed his response, arm tightening his hold around your waist as you leaned back in his chest.

“What do you want to do after graduation?”

“As long as your there, I don’t care”

You twisted to give him another dimpled smile, “Sap,” he could hear the love in your teasing tone.

What he wouldn’t give to be able to go back.

so I showed up at your party yeah, I showed up at your party

He could see your house coming into view, lights on and the faintest sound of music playing through the streets.

yeah, I showed up at your party will you have me? will you love me?

His heart beat faster as he got closer, his mind racing at the thought of all the possibilities of what could happen. His feet carrying him up the path towards the familiar porch where he would kiss you goodbye until he could see you again.

will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends? if you kiss me will it be just like I dreamed it? will it patch your broken wings? I’m only seventeen, I don’t know anything but I know I miss you

His breath caught in his throat as he reached the door. This was it, there was no turning back. He took a moment to collect himself, breathing, ignoring the music and the people he could clearly hear on the other side of the door. Picturing your face on the other side of the door, running through his apology, again and again, practicing once more what he would say when he saw you. He reached a hand up and pressed the doorbell, the sound vibrating through his nervous form.

standing in your cardigan kissin’ in my car again stopped at a streetlight you know I miss you…

“Kuroo?“