#I ONLY know this because my second ultrasound hurt every time they went deep. first one didnt hurt... So I think its the cyst-) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

juminsmysticmc · 3 years

Text

Pregnancy Series - Part 3

Telling them

Hey! So a lot of you have been waiting and I am honestly happy that you guys seem to like my pregnancy series! Please feel free to tell me your opinion with a comment or through a reblog ( I read every single # ) or just send me a message in my inbox! Hope you enjoy!

Pregnancy Series: Part 1 // Part 2

Jumin

You nervously rubbed your hands together as the weekend finally came.

Ever since Jumin married you, he decided to have his birthday parties only with you instead of throwing big parties with people he didn’t even like just because of his status.

But this time you prepared something special for him.

You decided to invite your father-in-law as well as the RFA, even Zen, at your place on the 4th of October to stay until Jumin’s birthday at midnight the 5th october.

For Zen, you even prepared your party room since your beloved cat wasn’t in every room of the big penthouse your husband owned.

And so you prepared everything without your husband’s knowing. To say it clearly, you made someone else prepare it because you were scared of hurting the baby, being overprotective since it took you so long to get pregnant.

Maybe you were too scared, but you knew that Jumin wouldn’t have wanted you to overwork yourself.

The room was decorated in gold and black colors and you also baked a big cake on your own, deciding to hide a long note into the cake, saying that you were pregnant. At the end of the note, a copy of your first picture of the baby was attached, showing Jumin that whatever was happening was real.

You knew that he would be more than happy to see this, to know about the baby you were carrying.

,,Finally ready,’’ you said and sighed, looking at your clock, knowing that at 8 PM everyone would come home to stay into the room before Jumin would come home with Jaehee from the office.

The first guest to arrive was your father in law. To your surprise, he didn’t take his girlfriend along, but since Jumin always had to prepare a second party for his status, your in-law promised you to bring her along the next day. Well, you knew that this wasn’t going to last for a long time, but to make the elder happy, you nodded and smiled, telling him that you were more than happy to be able to get to know her.

Lastly, Seven, Zen, and Yoosung arrived. Zen and Seven were arguing whether or not the red haired boy should kidnap his Elly.

,,I need to go home with you. You can’t take that fur ball with you!’’ he hissed.

You left the men alone for a second before you waited for the final guest - your husband, of course followed by Jaehee who just sent you a message about her arrival.

Jumin was puzzled at first when you invited Jaehee inside and led the way to another part of the penthouse, but since it was you who asked, it was okay, you were his wife after all.

The surprise party, however, made him emotional and you knew that Jumin was touched just by his mimicry and how he stood there, you knew your husband.

,,I have a present for you, but you will only be allowed to have it at midnight!’’ you teased him after he gave you a long, lovely kiss.

Staying awake almost four hours more was hard for you. Since you knew that you were pregnant, you were even sleepier, but for Jumin you could manage to stay awake. You had to.

,,IT’S MIDNIGHT! BRING THE CAKE!’’ Seven screamed in excitement, making you a bit nervous.

Yoosung carried the cake into the room after you kindly asked him to, as you all sang ,,Happy Birthday’’ to him.

,,Thank you, my love,’’ he whispered and kissed you again, ready to blow his candles.

,,Before you cut the cake, Jumin,’’ you said as he stood there with a knife already ,,here’s something you have to pull out. Read it out loud,’’ you said.

You pressed your lips together as you waited for him to pull out the long white note until finally the first words appeared. ,,I…..’’ he said, he smirked, thinking that the note was ,,I love you’’

,,A….M…..P...R...E...G…-’’ he looked at you in shock before he pulled the note even quicker out of the cake, seeing the last picture of an ultrasound.

For the first time, all members of the RFA saw Jumin Han cry real tears by the man they always called ,,cold hearted’’ as he hugged his wife and kissed her with a lot of love, thanking her over and over again.

,,This is the best present ever,’’ he hiccuped and kneeled down to kiss your flat belly.

Zen

,,You will surely be a good mother!’’ the chocolate lady praised you as she gave you the white chocolate with the baby sonogram of your baby.

You quickly went back in and prepared a few more things. The chocolate was ready, you thought you would now take a little package and put balloons around the chocolate so that it would float up as soon as Zen would open the box.

Since the chocolate was in a cute packaging too, you put a note on it saying to open it immediately to see the surprise.

You guessed that this would be the perfect Valentine’s Day gift.

Then you also decided to bake a few muffins, not just for Zen, but also because you wanted to slowly get used to the idea of baking cakes for your future child.

That evening, you tried your best to act normal because you were overloading with happiness and excitement.

The next day, you woke up pretty quickly. One of the reasons was because you had the urge to throw up and the other reason was because you wanted to drop the news as soon as possible.

,,Mc, did you get checked up? Like-’’

,,Hyun, it’s just a virus. That’s why I had to cancel our reservation at the hospital,’’ you groaned as you again had to empty your stomach.

,,Of course, baby,’’ he whispered, holding your hair as he kept rubbing your back.

At times like these, he wished you could be like him, healing and getting better quickly.

But he also knew that you were a strong woman and didn’t have any problems.

,,Okay, I’m better,’’ you gasped as you went to wash your mouth. The taste you had in your mouth wasn’t really yummy and so you brushed your teeth before you decided to give him his present.

,,Here, for you,’’ you whispered as you laid back in bed, feeling a bit lightheaded.

Zen’s eyes went soft as he saw the big box, placing it on the floor and sitting next to it to open the present.

Just like you wanted, the balloons flew up, pulling the chokolate up.

Zen quickly grabbed the present and read the note out loud.

,,I’m excited. I never thought that Valentine’s Day could become so special one day,’’ he laughed.

You slowly teared up as you thought about how much better and special this day would become.

Zen opened the chocolate and inspected the picture.

He stayed silent for a second before he looked up at you again.

,,Really?’’ he asked you, whispering as his tears found a way out.

,,Really, Hyun, really.’’

Yoosung

You hurried home after the appointment, thinking about the best way to tell your husband that you were pregnant.

After you decided to take a look at some Pinterest boards, you decided to sew a little baby out of his clothes.

You once saw it in a drama and it was, in your opinion, the cutest idea.

And so, you took an old shirt of his and went down to the city, buying some stuff to fill your baby.

It took you the whole day to sew that baby, to first cut the material, put it together in a little cute baby outfit, and patch it together.

You were really happy back then; your teacher taught you how to sew at the machine and your mother bought you one back then.

Right when Yoosung entered, you just finished the little baby.

You were proud of yourself and were more than happy that you could hide the present before he came home.

,,Hello, my wife,“ he smiled and kissed you, seeing that you were in a better mood than in the morning.

,,You haven't cooked yet? Wanna do it together?“ he asked you, seeing that nothing was prepared.

,,Oh, I need to be honest. I took a good rest today and I forgot that it was already so late,“ you lied.

,,It’s okay! I can also order some sushi or-”

,,No sushi!“ you called, looking away.

,,Can we eat pizza?“ you asked him, trying to hide the fact that you preferred to not eat raw fish.

And so you both did, although Yoosung was kind of puzzled when you didn’t take the wine you both usually drank while eating pizza.

The day went by and the next morning finally arrived. You were happy to wake up just in time to set the table, prepare the breakfast, and put his bag with the baby doll on his seat.

,,Happy eighth anniversary,“ he whispered and kissed you, hugging your body from behind, nuzzling his head in your neck.

,,Eight years already,“ you sighed happily and turned around, ready to give him a deep, lovely kiss on his lips.

Yoosung quickly sat down, giving you his hand over the table as he put some sugar in his coffee.

,,That’s for you,“ he told you, giving you an envelope.

You smiled.

,,The bag in front of you is from me for you,“ you told him, as if someone else could have made him a present.

The both of you decided to open your present at the same time.

And once again, you surprised each other.

,,You want to adopt a child?“ you asked him as he almost screamed ,,YOU’RE PREGNANT?“

You both laughed at the same time. Yoosung quickly got up from his chair, getting on his knees as he kissed your belly with tears in his eyes.

,,I knew it! No sushi, no wine! I knew it!“ he sobbed, stroking the place where his baby was supposed to be.

,,Such a little human being will grow up here. Can you believe it?“ Yoosung asked you.

You were also now sobbing, shaking his head as you stroked his fluffy hair ,,Finally, Yoosung, finally,“

Jaehee

Your girlfriend couldn’t wait to hug you, hold you in her arms and so, as soon as she caught a glimpse of you at the train station, she hugged you, sobbing into your shoulder.

It was cold outside and you luckily came back right in time before the holy days of Christmas.

Jaehee still hugged you when suddenly, something soft and cold touched your nose, making you look up into the sky.

,,The first snow,’’ you whispered, making Jaehee loosen up her hug and look up too.

She chuckled as she knew that you loved the snow.

A few seconds later, the both of you walked hand in hand towards your shop. Jaehee was happy as you seemed to be in a happy mood.

Your fingers felt hot as hers were entangled in yours, stroking the skin of your finger with her thumb.

,,Go and take a warm shower. I will make us some food,’’ she mumbled and quickly left you alone.

And so, while the warm water of your shower hit your body, warming you up and relaxing your muscles, you thought of a way to tell Jaehee that you two finally did it.

Suddenly, you got a very good idea. Lately, you were into sublime stitching and found it hard to find new things to stitch, but now that you had your first ultrasound, you finally had a new challenge to take!

You copied your first ultrasound and sent it to your favorite artist, who was more than happy to make your ultrasound into a pattern with ink.

Just like always, you ironed the picture with the hot iron on your fabric, but this time you didn’t buy the pattern and indeed used your own.

You smiled as you saw how good it worked out. You were really proud of yourself that the first step was already so well done!

But you couldn’t keep going as Jaehee called you to open the shop with her.

And so the weeks went by. You luckily didn’t have any symptoms that could have ruined the surprise for Jaehee.

You wanted to give it to her as a Christmas present after all.

You kept stitching along the line, slowly and accurately so that everything would look nice and neat.

When you finally finished, you felt yourself becoming emotional. This was now real, this present and this baby was really happening to you and Jaehee, who waited for so long for this.

The last step was to wash the fabric so that the blue ink would disappear, making it look once again much more beautiful.

,,I can’t wait for Christmas,’’ you chuckled to yourself and put the present into a little box.

,,You really didn’t have to,’’ Jaehee whispered the morning of Christmas Eve.

The both of you sat on your couch in front of your Christmas tree.

It was warm and cozy in your living room as you both were wearing the same Christmas hoodies.

You excitedly looked over to Jaehee as she opened the box.

Her fingers followed every stitched line, her lips began to tremble and it seemed as if she couldn’t breathe calmly.

You were getting worried, but soon enough Jaehee looked at you.

,,Is that yours?’’ she asked her, her voice was cracking.

,,Yes. I didn’t have the flu or covid, I’m pregnant,’’ you laughed.

Jaehee hugged you, not too strong, stroking the back of your hair as she enjoyed the warmth of your body.

,,I don’t have such a great present,’’ she laughed and kissed your cheek.

Saeyoung

The birthday of the twins was slowly approaching. By now you were eight weeks pregnant.

You still had symptoms and felt sick. Sometimes you couldn’t even cook, making Saeyoung worry for you, but you knew that this was worth it.

You chuckled as you thought about your self made toy you prepared as a present for Saeyoung. It was a toy he had to play first before the news of your pregnancy would be announced.

It took you a while to construct everything.

It was a game where he had to put cards together. To put them together, he had to form different sentences in different languages.

Matching cards would give him a letter and afterwards those letters would give him the sentence ,,You will be soon a daddy!’’ but of course, he had to also form this sentence.

Since it was kind of difficult to perform this all in Hangul, you decided to make it an english game.

For Saeran, you prepared a little teddy bear which would say ,,Hello Uncle’’ but of course, he wasn’t allowed to open his present until Saeyoung played with his present.

The 11th of June quickly approached you guys as you woke up one morning. Luckily, you still didn’t feel sick.

You hugged Saeyoung as you woke him up with a sweet kiss ,,Good morning,’’ you whispered, making him groan, but not open his eyes.

,,Hello, how did you sleep?’’ you asked him when he turned his body to you and hugged you back.

,,Good, but being awake next to you is better,’’ he whimpered and almost fell asleep again.

,,Ya! Your birthday breakfast is waiting for you!’’ you hissed and laughed.

He immediately jumped up, yelling for his brother. ,,SAERAN, YOU ARE TURNING A YEAR OLDER!’’ he laughed, making you shake your head.

But you were happy that Saeyoung finally found his brother. You could just imagine how it must have been for him to miss his second half for all those years.

And even though Saeran didn’t admit it, he probably missed his brother too.

The three of you were sitting around the table as they ate their soup. It was a special soup for their birthday.

,,I will give you your birthday present later when the other’s are here too,’’ you told them both, making your husband especially sad. ,,You always want your present at midnight and now I have to wait?’’ he asked you, whining as you laughed at him.

,,It’s special, that’s why,’’ you told him, making him sulk.

,,My presents are always special,’’ he whined but didn’t say anything anymore as he enjoyed his food.

You were nervous as the RFA came one by one. By now, you guys were always together. You saw yourselves as a family.

,,Okay guys, because of you I couldn’t open my present!’’ he whined and finally unpacked the box. At first he looked a bit… puzzled, which made you chuckle.

You explained to him how to play and even persuaded him to play on his own.

,,Boring that everyone is watching me,’’ he mumbled as Saeran kept patting his present, you told him he wasn’t allowed to open it yet.

,,Is that german? ,,Wir müssen…’’ what?’’ he laughed.

But one by one he did it and finally had the single letters that would give the hidden message.

,,I am pregnant, I don’t even have to think about it, that’s the message, right?’’ he said and immediately looked up at you, already in tears.

By now, Saeran too, unpacked his bear and in a big family embrace, Saeyoung cried into your shoulder.

Saeran

After you were brought to the maternity ward and they did some more tests, it seemed that it was official that you were pregnant!

Saeran got up as soon as he saw you walking out of the big doors.

,,Is it something serious? It took you so long and no one wanted to say anything,’’ he whined and took your hand between his, massaging your palm as he slowly walked out with you.

,,I just had to wait a long time,’’ you lied and smiled at him, trying to convince him that you just had a mere virus.

And so the days passed again and you worked on a present for Saeran who was a soon to be father.

You put a lot of thought into it and decided that doing something handmade would be much better than just telling him.

That’s why you decided to give him something your baby would get - a handmade baby blanket with his favorite flower patched on it.

You put a lot of hard work into it, using the best material and the most beautiful colors.

And since the gender was still unknown, you decided to go for a light beige color with some red details.

In the end, the blanket looked just too cute and it hit you - you were pregnant.

The day was nothing special when you told Saeran that you would like to go and eat an ice cream with him, something he agreed to immediately.

He took a few hours free and hand in hand with you, he went to buy ice cream for the both of you, enjoying the sun on your skin and the nature around you.

,,What do you have in that bag?’’ he asked you after a while, still licking his ice cream as he pointed at the little bag in your hand.

,,Nothing,’’ you began, ,,just something little I want to give you,’’ you told him, making him excited to know what you would like to give him.

To prevent the blanket from getting dirty, you decided to wait until the both of you were finished with the ice cream, giving you the chance to talk to Saeran a bit more about his day and your day.

,,Okay, now I’m ready,’’ he nodded and looked at the bag. He couldn’t wait to see what you had prepared for him in there.

He opened the bag and pulled out the self made blanket, observing every little detail.

He tilted his head as he looked at the length of it.

,,It’s a bit too little for you, right?’’ you laughed, making him laugh too.

Suddenly, Saeran saw a little note in there.

,,It’s not for you, it’s for your baby, Dad. Congratulations…’’ he whispered and put the note back into the bag, looking at the tiny blanket again.

You knew that he was happy, but probably overwhelmed with this news and so you decided to wait a few moments.

But as soon as the news arrived in his head, Saeran couldn’t prevent himself from hugging and thanking you a thousand times.

,,You...you always make me so happy…!’’ he whined.

,,I will give my best to become a good father,’’ he said with a trembling voice.

,,I won’t become like my parents. I will be a good one and I will protect you and our unborn child,’’ he whispered, his hand on your belly by now.

,,I promise,’’ he nodded.

,,I trust you, Saeran.’’

Jihyun

As soon as Saeyoung heard those words, he began to tear up and hugged you, patting your back. He was just so happy for you and Jihyun as he knew that the both of you had a hard time lately.

,,Let’s get back and prepare something!’’ he said in his mischievous smile and helped you to get into the car.

Of course, to keep it fair, Saeyoung wasn’t allowed to tell anybody. Instead, the both of you planned on how to tell Jihyun who would soon come back home.

,,How about I make a computer print of your future family and he has to paint it in little colors? We will just make it with so many details that he won’t notice from the beginning that it’s a family picture of four!’’ Saeyoung chuckled. You loved the idea and were more than happy to go with it.

You and Saeyoung worked on the details while the rest of the RFA weren’t at your home as they too had their personal lives.

Saeyoung and Saeran, however, stayed with you partly because Saeyoung prepared the surprise with you, but also because they both were worried.

When you finally finished with the layout and Saeyoung helped you to print it out, you wouldn’t be able to tell that this was a picture of a family.

,,I wonder how he will react,’’ you laughed and thanked him for his hard work.

,,Those were the longest six weeks I’ve ever experienced,’’ you whimpered when Jihyun finally arrived at home, Lucy on your hand, also more than happy to see her father.

Hugging the both of you, he nodded in agreement.

,,I also missed the both of you,’’ he said honestly.

Quickly letting him step in, you took his stuff and helped him to unpack before you told him that dinner would be soon ready.

,,I have a little challenge for you,’’ you laughed as you went back to your room to take the picture you prepared for him.

,,Oh, I saw that on Instagram,’’ he nodded, as he remembered the logic of the painting.

,,Yes, but I did this myself,’’ you said proudly, handling it over to him.

He laughed happily ,,I’m excited to work on it, thank you!’’ he laughed.

,,Yes, but there’s a hidden message in it so you need to hurry with it!’’ you told him, not knowing that you encouraged him to work on it the whole night after you fell asleep that night.

In the morning, when you just opened your eyes and saw his black bags below his eyes, paint all over his hands, you knew that he overworked himself.

,,Will we be able to adopt a child?’’ he asked you, his voice was raspy as he asked you, tears in his eyes, excited to know the answer.

You slowly shook his head, making him wonder if his sleepy eyes made him see something he just wanted to see.

But you didn’t want to tease him anymore so you finally told him. ,,I’m pregnant, Jihyun. I wasn’t sick back then, I was just… pregnant! I was having symptomes. We will have a child together soon!’’ you told him, slowly getting up from the bed.

,,I’m so happy,’’ he sighed and kissed your belly.

,,I will never go away for such a long time, I swear,’’ he whispered and then, with his knees on the floor and head on your lap, slowly fell asleep….

Vanderwood

You observed Vanderwood, noticing that the mood was being off for a few days.

To be honest, it was happening ever since you told him that you wanted to stop trying to have children for the time being.

Your eyes followed Vanderwood as he walked out and took out a cigarette, sluggishly smoking and looking around.

You began to chew on your lips as you thought back, maybe beginning the topic with ,,Yo’’ wasn’t the best way to start.

But there was no way back now and it didn’t matter anymore since you finally got pregnant.

You hoped that a day later, Vanderwood’s birthday, this silence between the both of you would be over finally as you wanted to surprise him with a self made cake which said, ,,Hello Daddy!’’

Of course, you firmly told him to not look at it, something he would never do since he knew how much you liked to surprise him.

,,Vandy,’’ you called him softly.

,,Don’t call me like that,’’ he groaned, a bit annoyed as he closed the door.

,,Are you angry at me?’’ you asked him, scared for his answer.

Vanderwood turned his body to you.

He didn’t look happy and you just noticed.

,,I’m not angry, I’m just… I have the feeling that you don’t really care about having a family with me while I work my ass of and-’’

,,Woah, what gives you that idea?’’ you asked him, slowly getting off the couch and looking at him.

You didn’t want to fight with him, but his comment… hurt you deeply.

,,Last time, sorry, but you approached the topic totally wrong!’’ he hissed, on his way to the kitchen.

You followed him there. He was partly right, you thought.

,,But, I was just… I didn’t know how to tell you, but this doesn’t mean that I don’t care,’’ you told him, your trembling voice making him look back at you.

,,I know. It still hurts though,’’ he whispered and opened the fridge to take out a cold drink.

,,You know what,’’ you told him, holding onto the door of the fridge and pulling out the cake you made for him which was covered with something so that he couldn’t see what was written on it with the chocolate.

,,What-’’ before Vanderwood could even say anything, you showed him the cake you prepared for him with the note written on it that you were pregnant.

,,It’s true. I was mean and I should have approached you differently, but I was so down, I didn’t think I could get pregnant anytime soon and- just don’t say anymore that I don’t care,’’ you finished your sentence and looked up, your tears were rolling down your cheeks as you were unsure of what to do now.

But Vanderwood knew what he had to do and softly took you in his arms, laying you down in the other room and kissing your neck.

,,You destroyed my surprise,’’ he whispered, giving you a kiss again.

,,Sorry for being selfish. I was mean while you’ve been carrying my baby,’’ he honestly apologized, stroking your flat womb as you sobbed into his shoulder.

Part 4.1 of my pregnancy series here

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

🤰🏻ᴘʀᴇɢɴᴀɴᴄʏ sᴇʀɪᴇs🤰🏻Masterlist here

16.05.2021// 00:12 MEST

210 notes · View notes

carnationworld-writings · 3 years

Text

Being pregnant with Greg ‘Mouse’ Gerwitz’s baby

MASTERLIST

Paring: Greg “Mouse” Gerwitz x Reader

Universe: One Chicago

Word Count: 2759

Warnings: mention of PTSD, pregnancy, child birth, pain, therapy, overprotectivness, fem!reader

If I forgot about anything feel free to write to me. Your wellbeing is important to me!

Summary: How your pregnancy could be when being in a relationship with Mouse and as a member of the Intelligence Unit?

You met at work. You were a detective in the Intelligence Unit and an old friend of Jay Halstead when Mouse started working there. You immediately found him very sweet, and very often, you couldn't stop smiling when he couldn't stop talking or did his tech magic.

You spent a lot of time talking. It was common to find both of you together. When you needed a moment to calm down after a case, you hid downstairs with him. When you all talked about new evidence in the case, he would lean against your desk. When you came back from the call, he ALWAYS came to check on you.

You became closer after Nadia's death. Being a female cop was hard. You offered to help her, and that allowed you to spend a lot of time together. Her death hit you hard. (Not so hard like Lindsay, but still.) He had seen how different cases affected you. However, he had never seen you crying so hard, like in the moment when news about finding Nadia's body reached you. You collapsed in his arms, and he held you for hours.

You started dating sometime after that. You both knew Voight's rule about no dating in the unit. Because of that, at your request, when you were sure about this relationship, you told him about this. You were sincere about everything, showing him that your relationship didn't affect your work.

Everybody said that you are a perfect couple. Of course, you argued, but you always tried to understand the other person. Sometimes he was a little overprotective. Sometimes you were pissed off when he shut you down. But at the end of the day, you always tried to make up. Life was too short, especially when you were a cop.

Pregnancy definitely wasn't planned. You realized that you were late on your period, and you told Mouse about this, even if at the beginning you thought that it was because of stress. He offered to go for a pregnancy test. When you waited for results, you saw how anxious he was, so you just held his hand. The test came positive, and you watched how he freaked out. He was afraid that he can't be a good father, that because of his PTSD, he could hurt the baby.

"Greg… I know this is hard, and I'm not ready either. But I can't… I can't abort it." her voice cracked, and she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "I know that you will be an amazing father. I know it because you already took good care of me. You are so caring and generous. And I know that you would never hurt them. It will be hard, but I'm sure that together we can do it, like we did with so many things. But if you don't want it… I won't force you to stick with us. And I won't be mad if you walk away. Maybe I'll be a little hurt, but I will understand, Greg." She felt tears in her eyes when she looked at him. She could tell that he was thinking about her words. And then he came closer to her and took her in his arms. He held her tight, and she let her tears run on her cheeks.

"I could never walk away from you. And you're right. We can do it. I'll go for a therapy or support group to keep my demons under control."

She didn't know what to say, how to show him how grateful and happy she was, so she just took his face in her hands and kissed him.

You made an appointment as soon as possible. That day, Mouse called Voight that you felt unwell and he'd stay with you. You went to the doctor's office together. When they did an ultrasound, he held your hand so tight and couldn't stop bouncing his leg. You both couldn't tear your eyes from the picture of your baby on the monitor. When your doctor asked if you wanted her to print it and how many copies you want, he just said: "As many as you could give us."

You told Voight about your pregnancy as soon as it was confirmed. Actually you called him after you left the doctor’s office to meet him. You didn't want to risk the baby's life because of your work. When you told him, he really surprised you. He was so happy for both of you and hugged you. Immediately he put you on desk work for the unit - you worked for him so long that he knew that there is no power in the universe to stop you from working.

You tried to hide it for the rest of the team as long as you could. You wanted to wait for the end of the first trimester, and you used an old wound as an excuse.

After you found out about the baby, Mouse called Doctor Charles and started therapy again. He really wanted to be the best version of him for both of you. You always assured him that you are very proud of him and that you see everything he'd done.

After your first appointment, Mouse became a little overprotective. He checked if you were not hungry and drank enough water. He made sure you didn't drink too much coffee and tried to get you to give it up.

When the possibility of miscarriage went lower, you decided to announce pregnancy to your team. It was so hard to hide your pregnancy, especially when Ruzek and Atwater's lunch choices made you sick. You also were sure that Serge Platt knew about the baby or at least suspected something. This woman always knew everything, but she never said anything.

Y/N and Mouse came to work a little earlier that day. She was glad that only Voight was in the bullpen. Mouse put your enlarged ultrasound on board and you wrote next to it: "Backup is on the way! Baby Gerwitz coming *due date*" and then turned the board to hide it, waiting for the rest of the team. She sat behind her desk, patiently waiting for everybody to come to work and slowly starting paperwork. When everybody came, Mouse went for Trudy, telling her that they needed her help with a case. When they all were on their spots, Voight went out of his office. A few days before, they asked him for help with the announcement, and even if he acted tough cop, he was honoured. He looked at Y/N, and when she nodded, feeling Mouse's hand on arm, he got the unit's attention.

"Listen up, we got a case." He turned the board, and three of them watched the rest of this chosen family. Trudy was the first who gasped, looking at the young detective and then quickly came to her, taking Y/N in her arms. Y/N couldn't stop her tears at the amount of love from this family. She happily accepted every congratulations and hug. When she leaned on Mouse slightly, answering Erin and Antonio's questions, she missed the proud smile that Voight, Trudy and Al exchanged.

Since that day, Halstead, Ruzek and Atwater went overprotective of you. You often found on your desk some healthy snack, they brought you something to drink before you could stand up from your chair. If you only mention food that you craved, often one of them found a way to bring it to you. If you frown because of a cramp or because the position you were sitting in was not comfortable, they immediately asked if you were alright or needed to see a doctor. If they only could, they would put you on bed rest - much to Mouse happiness. And when they were too much, and your threats to kick their asses didn't work, only one look at Olinsky or Lindsay was enough to put them in line by one of them. Trudy welcomed you every day with a big smile, asking how you and "Baby Mouse" were feeling. She always made sure that you didn't carry anything looking heavy and made one of the patrol officers bring it upstairs. She loved hearing news about the baby, and when she found out that they started kicking, she was more than happy to feel it on her hand.

You and Mouse spent a lot of time at home. He loved holding you in his arms, caressing your belly. One of his best memories from pregnancy was when you both felt them kicking for the first time. He bent on his knees to place a kiss on your stomach, and then he felt it against his lips. He gasped with wide-open eyes, and with chuckles, he kissed it again, whispering how much he loves them.

Mouse didn't let you do anything in the nursery. Of course, you could choose everything and decide what you want it to look like, but you couldn't even wash off the dust. With help from Jay, he made everything there, and you could go inside only when everything was ready. The effect exceeded your expectations.

Pregnancy also affected your sex life, especially in the second trimester. Your hormones made you so horny, and after calming Mouse that sex is safe in your condition, you tried new positions and other ways to reach the pleasure.

Mouse made sure to be at every doctor appointment. He loved seeing your child on ultrasound and hearing their heartbeat. He also went with you to childbirth classes. Actually, it was him who asked to go there. He just wanted to know what he should be prepared for.

He didn't complain about helping you when you couldn't sleep at night. He would go to the grocery if you had some weird cravings. He would rub your belly, talking to the baby, when they were moving too much. He would do everything to make you comfortable. He would rub your leg when you woke up because of contraction or massage your back. He tried to be patient with you, and your moods swung. He would calm you down with a smile after you started crying at Ruzek's comment about how big your belly became. He always assured you how beautiful you were in his eyes and how much he loved you and your changing body.

You didn't make it to maternity leave when your waters broke in the middle of the bullpen. Everybody knew that you wanted to stay as long as you could at work. It was your first child, and you were a little afraid to be alone too long, and your sight also calmed down Mouse. You were alone upstairs when it started. Very calm you came to your desk and called Trudy, who were downstairs at the front desk. When she packed you to the car, you texted Mouse to meet in the hospital.

You were already changed in a hospital gown and slowly walking through the hospital corridors, leaning on Trudy's arm. She held your hand and slowly rubbed your backs whenever you stopped because of contraction. You both talked with Maggie from ED when you saw him running in look at you. You smiled at him and leaned against him when he hugged you.

"You alright, babe? You scared me…" he whispered in your hair.

"I'm okay. The baby just decided to come earlier. I think they couldn't wait to meet you." He chuckled, and then he looked at Trudy.

"Sarge, thank you for keeping them safe."

"Everything for that baby." She smiled at you and squeezed your hand. She stepped back to go to the district, where she could wait there for any news about the baby, but you held her hand.

"Sarge. Could you... Stay here?" If it didn't feel the wave of pain that moment, you could see tears in her eyes when she happily agreed.

He saw pain on your face and how you dealt with it. He felt so helpless, hearing your moans and grunts full of pain. He tried to do everything to ease it at least a little, but there was a moment when he felt so overwhelmed by this.

You watched Mouse, trying to breathe in the way they taught you in childbirth classes. You saw how his eyes became foggy, and he couldn't stop them at anything for more than a few seconds. You slowly touched his hand and squeezed it slightly.

"Greg, love... Maybe you should take a walk? Go check if the unit is here or go buy yourself something to drink."

He didn't say anything but nodded his head and then walked out to the corridor. He didn't know how he walked out in front of the hospital. Not long after this, Jay found him sitting there with his head in his arms. With a frown, he touched his shoulder. He quickly guessed that his PTSD was making itself felt.

"Mouse, something happened? Something with the baby?"

"She's in so much pain..."

"And she needs you right now. Y/N is giving birth to your baby. And both of them need you, man."

"What if I lose her? I can't..."

"And you won't. Y/N is the toughest cop I know, and she will survive this just like your baby. But she needs to know right now that you are with her in this. She needs all the moral support she can get, and you are the best person for this." Mouse nodded and took a few deep breaths.

"You're right. Y/N needs me." Mouse looked at his friend and quickly got up. He ran to your room again to hold your hand through all this.

Since that moment, he was by your side all the time, doing everything you asked him. When you started pushing, he held your hand and kept kissing your head. He whispered encouraging words in your ear, trying to be helpful for you. He couldn't count how many times he wished to take all your pain on him.

He started crying when he heard your baby crying. When they rested them on your chest, he watched them, carefully touching their backs. He laced a fond kiss on their head and then kissed your lips. You watched this little person snuggling to your body with an amused face expression.

After they checked if everything was okay with the baby and with you, they put you in a room. You sent Mouse to tell your friends that the baby is already in the world, and he did it with a proud smile. He asked them to give you some time, and then they could meet the youngest Gerwitz. He came back to you and then held your child against his chest when you rested a little.

After some time, full of watching your baby and daydreaming about their future, Mouse went for your unit family. You held the baby in your arms with a big smile when they came in. Erin, Kim and Trudy started cooing at the baby when the older of them took the baby in her arms. You watched them with a tired smile, couldn't help giggling when Mouse acted as an overprotective father. You looked up, feeling how someone squeezed your shoulder slightly, and you met Voight's eyes, who smiled at you and whispered: "Good work, kid. And don't worry. This will be the safest kid in the whole city." It just made you believe that the whole unit will have this child’s back no matter what. And for most of the afternoon, you sat surrounded by people who you choose for your family. You listened to how they promised your child what they would do together and how great it will be. You were moved how they already cared for this baby and you. You happily accepted every hug, especially the one from Trudy and Al, which were like parental for you.

When you were left alone, Mouse couldn't tear his eyes from your baby and didn't want to put them on that cold, plastic crib. He kissed your forehead with eyes full of love and let you finally sleep. In this room was everything that he ever wanted but didn't have enough courage to dream about this. So he watched the both of you, vigilant that no one disturbs you in your sleep. It was his life now, and he swore to himself that he would do everything to keep you both safe and happy.

***

Author’s note:

Thank you for reading! Please, let me know what are you thinking about this one! Your comment means a world for me and motivates me to work! Also, taglist is open! If you want to be added just let me know!

In advance, I am sorry about every grammar mistake and misspellings. English is not my first language.

Klaudia xx

***

One chicago taglist: @teti-menchon0604

Let me know if you want to be added/removed.

320 notes · View notes

louiseleblancdiggory · 3 years

Text

Will you marry me?

I have talked about how pregnancy and infertility are two subjects that hit very close to home here a while ago. Sensitive topics for me, and I found out that writing about it whenever it pops into my mind sometimes helps. This is a very small, very simple thing that just appeared in my head yesterday while I played Mahjong at three in the morning. I hope you guys find it is as beautiful to read it as it was calming for me to write it.

Warnings: Infertility

“Aelin Ashryver Galathynius, will you give me the honor to be your husband?”

“No.”

For a second too long, Rowan didn’t register the word. In his mind, there was no reality in which Aelin wouldn’t accept his proposal. He had planned everything— taken her to their favorite restaurant, then to the spot on the park where they first met four years ago, made a beautiful speech, and, when he got on one knee, Rowan was sure Aelin was beaming.

But now, his girlfriend was just looking down at the ring with a sad smile.

Rowan didn’t know what to say, how to act. He was sure Aelin didn’t want to end things, so maybe she just wasn’t ready for marriage? That was such a foreign thought to Rowan, specially after the fact that they had talked about marriage for the past five months. Aelin was ready, she had said as much so many times, and yet her answer had been no.

“No?” Rowan asked, dumbfounded. He didn’t want to pressure her into accepting, he just didn’t know how to recompose himself quickly enough so she wouldn’t realize how his heart was shattering inside his chest. “Why?”

The word was barely louder than a whisper, but Aelin heard it anyways. Rowan knew because her sad smile just deepened, and when she grabbed his hand, she squeezed it tightly. “Come here.”

Still in some state of shock, Rowan let her pull him towards a bench nearby, the moon and some far away street lampposts their only company. The glow they casted had made Rowan thought that the park looked like a dream before he proposed to Aelin.

Now it was more of a sweet nightmare.

Aelin sat down, still holding Rowan’s hands. She stared at their laced fingers for so long that, after a few minutes, Rowan thought she wasn’t going to say anything, get up, and walk away.

“I had lunch with Lysandra three days ago.” She said, her tone barely above a whisper and yet her words sounded so loud as they ricocheted through the empty park. Rowan couldn’t understand how having lunch with Lysandra had to do with her refusal, and yet he found himself hanging on every word that escaped her lips as if they were food to a starved man.

“I know.” He said when she fell silent again.

“We had lunch at the hospital, I was doing my yearly check up.” She continued, still staring at their hands as if she couldn’t bear looking at his face. At the mention of the doctor, accompanied by the seriousness of her voice, Rowan’s shock was immediately substituted with terror. “Everything was normal, I did some exams and went home.”

He didn’t say anything, too scared to say a word, to ask a question.

“Some results came back yesterday.” Aelin took a deep breath, finally raising her head to look at Rowan’s face. Her turquoise and gold eyes were shining with unshed tears, and she gave him a smile that would have destroyed his heart if it wasn’t already shattered. “You want to be a dad, Ro.”

Rowan’s brows furrowed, his mind trying to catch up with what she was saying. “Yes?”

Aelin shrugged, raising her eyes to look at the moon rather than looking at him. “And I can’t be a mom.”

His mind was still trying to catch up to her words, to wrap every single inch of attention he had in his body around the meaning of what she was saying, of what she was implying. A lonely tear slid down Aelin’s cheek, and if she wasn’t gripping his hands so fiercely, Rowan would have wiped it away.

He didn’t say anything— didn’t know what to say, didn’t know if she even wanted him to say anything. Some things were inconsolable, and the only thing anyone could do to the person was just sit there in silence and let them get it all out.

Aelin’s beautiful and sad face slid back to him, small and sad smile still gracing her lips. She looked so heartbroken, so lost that Rowan wanted to destroy the thing causing her pain.

But this time there was nothing he could do.

“I am infertile.” She said out loud, more to herself than to him, he realized. By the look on her face, by her posture and the way she spoke, Rowan guessed that was the first time she was saying it out loud. She straightened her spine, staring deep into his eyes. “I am infertile. I can’t have children of my own.”

Rowan silently nodded, not uttering a word as he realized she wasn’t done talking.

“Completely infertile. No treatment, no chance of a miracle, no nothing. I will never get pregnant, Rowan.” Her face was a mixture of anguish, confusion, and, deep down, a small parcel of acceptance. “I won’t get the big belly, the pregnancy cramps. I don’t get my ultrasounds, belly kicks, and first cry. I don’t get the excitement of using a pharmacy pregnancy test, or the thrill of looking at a screen while a nurse rubs that thing against my belly to know the baby’s sex. I don’t get any of that.”

“Ace…”

“And I wanted all that.” She said, determined even as Rowan heard her throat closing up against the words. “Always have.”

Rowan nodded, squeezing her hands. “I know.”

And he did. Every time they talked about the future, Aelin included kids. Always said she wished to be a mom, wished to have a large family. She herself hadn’t had that when she was younger. Her parents died before she could form any memories with them, and Aelin jumped from house to house until she was adopted when she was twelve. For the longest time after that, it had been only Aelin and Darrow. During her first year of college he helped her learn more about her family— which led to her discovering the existence of Aedion and Gavriel.

She let go of Rowan’s hands, cleaning her face from her tears before looking at him.

“And it is something that hurts— knowing I won’t have it. But it is also something that I need to learn how to live with, because it won’t go away.” She looked so determined, so resolute that Rowan allowed himself a small spark of pride amongst the grief raging inside his chest for his girlfriend. “And it hurts like a bitch now, and it will probably never be something I am happy or even comfortable with, but I will learn how to deal with it. How to wake up everyday and learn more and more until it’s a sad reminder that sometimes pops into my mind, not a soul crushing fact.”

“Aelin—“ Rowan started even though he didn’t really know what to say.

“And I did not accept your proposal because you deserved to know this fact before tying your life to mine.” Her eyes still held some tears, but none of them fell. “I need you to propose to the whole me.”

“And I do.” Rowan said the second she finished speaking. He cradled her face in between his hand, thumb brushing over her lips. “Ace, I would propose to you no matter what.”

Her face was serious, and she blinked a few times before saying. “So you don’t care the slightest about the infertility? It’s not something that makes you think a second longer about the proposal?”

He nodded. “I don’t. It’s not.”

She took his hands off her face, putting them on his lap. “Then my answer is no.”

“What?”

She shook her head, strawberry golden hair falling from her loose braids. “This is something that should make you think longer, Rowan. This should be something that makes you stop for a second and think about what the future is going to be like. You talked about me getting pregnant before, and so don’t insult me by saying that you absolutely don’t care. You do. Just like me, you care so fucking much. But the difference between me and you is that you have a choice. You’re not infertile, I am. You can go out there and get someone pregnant, that’s not an option for me.”

“Aelin, I—“

“No. I won’t have you like this. I love you, Ro. I love you so fucking much, and I love how you feel you can love me no matter what. But I don’t need rushed and desperate demonstrations of love, not about this. I need a resonate, well thought response to something that is a big fucking deal. I need for you to understand that there will be no miracle here. I need for you to understand that you will see your friends getting pregnant, your friends’ wives getting pregnant. I need for you to understand that I will never carry your children. I love you, Rowan, but I will not be having you resent your abrupt choice to stay with me. I won’t be having you looking at me with any ounce of regret. If you want to marry me, then you will marry all of me.”

“You want me to think.” Rowan said slowly, his mind replaying what Aelin had just said over and over again.

She nodded firmly. “Not for five minutes, not for an hour. I want you to go home and think about it. To look at it and understand it.”

“And then you’ll answer my proposal.” It wasn’t a question.

“If the offer still stands.” She answered anyways.

————————————

Aelin wanted a kid.

She always had. She was good with kids, had loved babysitting during her adolescence. When she graduated from college and opened her own gallery, she made sure to have a fully white room, full of paints, just so kids could come in just to ruin the pristine walls. She loved a baby’s laugh, a baby’s smell, and smile. She loved everything about motherhood.

She would have loved being a mother.

She would love being a mother, Aelin forced her brain to correct itself.

Infertility had been a blow to every single part of her body, and the moment she read the results was like her body was trying to suffocate itself. She hadn’t been immediately overcome with grief, or sadness, or despair. For the following hour after reading the diagnosis, Aelin just sat on the kitchen floor, staring at a cabinet long enough that she almost opened a hole in it.

It hurt. It hurt like a bitch, and a part of her simply knew it would always hurt like a bitch. She knew it wasn’t the end of the world, knew there were so many more options, so many new treatments being created, and yet she simply could not bring herself to shove all those feelings away. Couldn’t force herself to pretend as if it didn’t impact her at all.

She could still be a mom— she would be a mom. Adoption had always been a part of her plans. Yes, it was something she had considered doing after getting pregnant, but adoption had been something Aelin was adamant on since she was younger. To be honest, whenever Aelin thought about the future, pregnancy was a one-time thing while she wanted to adopt at least three kids.

Maybe more.

And she would love her kids so intensely, so profoundly, that nothing but absolute love would fill her body. Just like she had been loved after her parents passed and she was adopted by Darrow.

For the first time in five days— since she read the diagnosis— Aelin genuinely smiled.

Life had been hard during the first twelve years of her life. Parents died in a fire when she was eight months, ended in the system, and just jumped around for years. People have a preference for babies, and so as she grew older and remained unadopted, Aelin’s chances of getting her own little family were thinning at the same rate her desperation was growing larger.

And then Darrow appeared.

Darrow, at first glance, reminded Aelin of a superhero movie villain. Always wearing black, a scowl on his face, and rich enough to wipe his own ass with hundred dollar bills. Whenever in public, the businessman was cold and detached, a mentor rather than father. At home, however, he was always simply Da. They never established if that was short for Darrow or for dad, but neither of them cared. Darrow had been her last hope, and he provided her enough to live a happy and comfortable life during her adolescence and young adult years. She would still call him every day, tell him how things were going with Rowan and the gallery.

Darrow had been her only family for so long, and although she loved him unconditionally, she wanted a bigger family.

“Hey, Da.” Aelin said against the phone, leaning on the balcony. “How’s everything?”

“Everything is great, m’eudail. The company is doing better than ever, and I’ve been thinking about getting a dog.” Aelin could hear him moving around, picking up papers as he probably looked for something. “But how are you? You sound different. Did something happen? Rowan?”

Aelin sighed, staring off the balcony. The day was coming to an end, the sunset painting the sky all shades of red, pink, and gold. “No. Yes. Kinda? I don’t know.”

Darrow laughed, a throaty sound Aelin doubted many people ever heard. “Why don’t you explain to me then? I’m smart, but even I can’t be that good of a guesser.”

“I’m infertile, Da.” Aelin whispered against the phone.

“Oh, m’eudail…” Aelin heard her Da’s voice full of pain for her, even when he was miles away. “I am so sorry.”

She shrugged even though he couldn’t see. “Me too. Cried like a baby for the past days, but you’ll be proud to know that I have reached a resigned form of acceptance. I always wanted to get pregnant and adopt, well, a small change in plans, but not the end of the world.”

“You’re allowed to be sad.”

“I know. I am.”

“But I am proud nonetheless.” Darrow said, and Aelin could hear a small smile in his voice. “You’ll be a great mom.”

Aelin smiled. “I know. I will.”

“And Rowan…”

“He proposed.” Aelin sighed, remembering the absolute ecstasy and euphoria that overtook her whole body when Rowan got down on one knee. She wanted to jump on him, laugh, and kiss him until they were both breathless. “Before he knew about the infertility. So I said no.”

All the moving around stopped on Darrow’s end of the call. “You said no?”

“He should know about it before marrying me. Rowan wants to be a dad.”

“He still can.” Da said. “I was.”

“Maybe he wants his wife to carry his biological children.” Aelin shrugged again, heart breaking a little. “Maybe it’s not something he can give up and not look back at it in the future.”

“I have the feeling that boy would give up just about anything for you and never look back, Aelin.” Her Da said, letting out a sigh.

“Did he tell you to tell me that?”

Darrow laughed. “Yes. Me and your boyfriend have these weekly heartfelt calls where we talk about our feelings.”

Aelin tried to contain a smile. “It would be fitting. You two have the same emotional availability.”

“We do, and you were the only one ever I ever let this close in my life, my darling daughter. No surprise you’re the only one for him, too.” He sounded as if he was sitting down, and Aelin could almost picture him on his office’s chair, rubbing his temples like he used to whenever she’d get in trouble in school and had to tell him. “Rowan’s a smart boy. Practical. I suppose you gave him time to think?”

“Yeah. A few days now.”

“I already know his answer.”

“So you do have heartfelt calls with my boyfriend.” Aelin tried to suffocate some of her nervousness. Her dad was so sure, and yet she couldn’t bring herself to be so confident. And losing Rowan would be such a painful, heart-shredding blow.

Just the thought was a painful, heart-shredding blow.

Darrow laughed, but some concern was present in his voice. “Ae—“

“I gotta go, Da.” Aelin said abruptly, interrupting him. “I love you.”

“Love you too, m’eudail.” Darrow managed to say before Aelin ended the call.

Everything was happening both too fast and too slow, and she just needed a fucking moment. She needed a fucking moment to sit down and think about nothing— no worries, no doubts. Nothing. She just wanted to have one single simple day where nothing bothered her.

She stared off the balcony until the sun had fully set, until the moon appeared and the stars started shinning. She stared off the balcony until the evening rush of hundreds of cars was substituted by hundreds of people walking around, going and coming back from places. High heels and sneakers sounded against the cobblestones, loud music from nearby bars sounded louder and louder every minute. The world was buzzing with life.

“Any particular reason why we are staring off the balcony so intently?” A low voice she’d recognize anywhere sounded from the open door separating the balcony and the living room.

Aelin didn’t turn around, and Rowan didn’t take a step forward. They just remained in silence, both looking at what felt like the whole world.

“Have been considering throwing Aedion off here. Asshole ate my box of chocolates.” Aelin murmured, and Rowan huffed a laugh in response, finally taking a step towards her.

Aelin turned around, feeling all the air leave her lungs when she looked at his face. Rowan was so painfully beautiful that Aelin couldn’t help but smile when her eyes fell on his face. He seemed so determined and so hopeful at the same time that Aelin heard her own heartbeats sounding louder than any of the sounds coming from below. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He mimicked her small smile, crossing his arms to stop himself from coming closer. He wanted, but was probably scared that one single abrupt movement would have Aelin bolting away from him. “How are you?”

“Good. Better. I talked to my Da.”

“What did he say?”

“The expected.” She shrugged, not knowing what to say.

“Aelin.”

“Rowan.”

“I thought about it.” Rowan said, a small nod of his head. “For the past days, I thought about it and then I thought about what I would tell you.”

Her breath caught in her throat, and Aelin simply assented, not trusting herself with words.

“I want kids. Always have. Different reasons than you, though.” Rowan started, looking directly into her face, eyes never wavering anywhere else. “You wanted a big family because for so long it was just you, and then just you and Darrow. I wanted a big family because I grew up surrounded by so many cousins, so many aunts and uncles, that a small family sounds strange.”

Aelin nodded automatically. She knew that, knew that Rowan’s reasons to want a bigger family and her own reasons were the complete opposite. He had a big family and wanted to remain as such, Aelin had a small one and wanted to change that.

“I might not be the warmest, but I want to be a dad. I’m not giving that up.”

“I know.” Aelin whispered.

Rowan’s eyes deepened, and his brows furrowed slightly. “But I never cared about biological children, Aelin. If— When. When I marry you, I want to adopt. More than one, more than two. I don’t care about you getting pregnant, Ace. It was never about that. I want to marry you, and I want to be the father of your kids. And that’s all. If adoption is our only choice, then I’m gonna make sure it’s our best choice. We’ll build a life great enough that no other possible reality will ever compare to. I’m gonna love you and those kids more than I could ever love anyone else.”

Rowan ended the distance between them, taking Aelin’s face gently and tilting it up. He pressed his lips softly against hers— one time, two times, three times. He kissed her lovingly and so slowly, as if they had all the time in the world.

“The only regret I could ever have about you, Fireheart, is the one I would feel every single fucking second if I let you go.” He kissed her again, wiping away tears from her pretty face. “You will be an amazing mother, Ace, and I will try every day to be a good dad. And I will love you so goddamn much every single day that you will never feel like a burden to me, because you are not one. You’ll never be a burden to me, Aelin.”

Aelin passed her arms around Rowan’s neck, chest bursting with so many emotions she could barely breathe. She let out a laugh against Rowan’s lips, damp cheeks touching his. His hands dug into her hair, pulling her face up so he could kiss her properly. It was so sweet and so loving, that if Aelin didn’t fully belong to that man already, that man would have ensured that. His warm lips against hers felt like the answers to so many questions, some that she hadn’t even asked, all ensuring her that they would be fine.

They would be great.

Rowan would always be the one for her, and Aelin would always be the one for him.

“Aelin Ashryver Galathynius, you will give me the honor to be your husband.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yes.” She answered anyways.

A/N: Ok, so this was something. Again, hit very close to home. Different people will react differently to the same situation. The way I write is based on what I have seen, but just know that every reaction is valid. Whether it crushes your soul, or maybe doesn’t impact you at all, know that it is valid. it will always be valid. And that you deserve someone who will never make you feel bad about something you cannot control. You deserve greatness, how you achieve it or what obstacles are in your way don’t matter. You deserve it.

Tags:

@in-love-with-caramel-macchiato @jlinez @courtofjurdan @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @ladywitchling @lexflame @sleeping-and-books @annejulianneh111 @perseusannabeth @linshryver @mu-si-ca-l @camilamartinezdunne @dank-queen7 @minaidss @starborn-faerie-queen @booksofthemoon @loveofbooksandwine @jesstargaryenqueen @bluejaberry @multifandommessblog @yesdreamblog @superspiritfestival @ireallyshouldsleeprn @woollycat22 @julemmaes @claralady @abookishfreak @faerie-queen-fireheart @maastrash @morganofthewildfire @queen-of-glass @heirofthenightcourt @booksbqueen @heirofthrnightcourt004

122 notes · View notes

not-close-to-straight · 4 years

Text

Cartier (Stony)

A commission for @littlemissstark who wanted Post Endgame ABO Stony, fluffy goodness with Omega!Dad!Tony and Alpha!Papa!Steve and of course, a complete rewrite of what happened in Endgame because Canon what? We don’t know her.

Enjoy!

And THERE’S MORE STONY ON MY MASTERLIST!

*************

“I am inevitable.” Thanos was grim, was resigned, was triumphant in his terrible choice, resolute in his self imposed rightness, perhaps even smug in the coming victory.

“I am inevitable.” the Titan lifted the mighty gauntlet and snapped his fingers and the clank echoed across the bloody, violent battlefield like a clap of lightning, like a roll of thunder, like the crack of a whip that arced out and struck--

--nothing.

“I am Iron Man.” Tony hurt, the Omega hurt, every inch of his body and every hair on his head. There was fire in his veins and unleashed power screaming in his head and it was the hardest thing he’d ever done to close his fingers in a snap.

Dimly, he heard Steve roar in fear and anger, saw the Alpha lunge for him and grab onto his hand to share the gauntlets force. The Rescue suit rocketed out of the sky and left a dent in the earth where Pepper landed, and her grip on his wrist was desperate and terrified and Tony screamed--

“Daddy!” It didn’t seem possible for a bed to bounce quite so much when the bouncee was only five years old, but Morgan treated the springs like a trampoline as she scrambled up the mattress and right up close to her dad. “Daddy! You’re night-maring again! Wake up!”

Tony broke from the dream with a gasp, sucking in a pained breath and grabbing automatically for his baby girl, cuddling her up close into a relieved hug and letting Morgan’s sleepy morning scent calm his heart again.

“Hi, Bug.” he managed after a moment. “How did you know Daddy was night-maring again?”

“You hold on to your wrist.” she said matter of factly, every bit as observant as Pepper despite being pint sized. “The one Papa Steve grabbed. You hold it when you’re scared.”

“I do that, huh?” Automatically, the Omega reached for his wrist. Not the one the stones had almost destroyed but the other one, the one with his Alpha’s fingerprints seared into his skin. When Steve had grabbed for him on the battlefield, the gauntlet’s power had shocked from Tony’s veins and surged right into Steve, burning the Captains fingerprints onto Tony’s wrist before tearing through his body and sapping a measure of super serum right from his bones.

Six months later Tony was branded and Steve had aged up to at least forty five before his system settled again. Bruce had ran test after test for weeks to be sure the Alpha wouldn’t just age right out of existence and now—

“Are you still sad about the bad man?” Morgan’s eyes were very wide, her tiny hands very soft as she patted at Tony’s belly. “Is the baby sad too?”

“No no honey, the baby isn’t sad.” Tony leaned back in the pillows and swallowed hard, covered Morgan’s hand with his own and forced a deep breath in and then out again. It was just a dream, just a dream, it had been six months and a whole lot of good things since that day with Thanos and it was just hormones bringing everything back up in his dreams. “And neither am I. I’m not sad, Bug, everything’s okay. What are you doing up so early?”

“I was thinking!” Morgan snuggled into the Omega’s side and patted at his tummy again. “Ask me what I was thinking!”

“What were you thinking?” Tony asked obediently and Morgan wriggled in excitement a few times before blurting, “I want to tell Papa Steve about the baby first!”

“Is that so?” Tony tried and failed to hide a smile. He loved so much how excited Morgan was about being a big sister, loved that she was nearly vibrating with the effort of keeping it a secret, even though it had only been a secret since late last night when he’d whispered it as he was tucking her in to bed.

“How do you want to tell Papa Steve about the baby?” he asked after another moment. “Cos I have an idea how to tell him too.”

“My idea is better.” Morgan insisted immediately, so much like her Mama Tony couldn’t help laughing out loud. “It is! It’s better!”

“Well now, I don’t know about that.” Lately Tony had been exhausted, moody and nauseous but he pushed it all away so he could Morgan just a little closer and relish a moment where it was just the two of them... cos in about seven months it wouldn’t be just the two of them anymore.

There was a little box on his side table wrapped in bold Cartier red, a ridiculous choice in this post-snap world but one Tony couldn't resist making. He loved Cartier, loved the pomp and circumstance and the sheer lack of necessity in each purchase and he knew Steve would laugh and laugh at the ridiculous wrapping and roll his eyes over his mate getting him a present at all.

But Tony knew his Alpha would get soft and serious and sweet when he said thank you, and Steve would unwrap the red paper extra careful like he did every time Tony gave him anything. Then the Alphas blue eyes would go very very wide and if Tony was lucky, the Captain would faint dead away in sheer shock and he could hold it over his mate’s head for at least the next five years.

Nothing put an Alpha on the floor like finding out their mate was expecting, and after Thanos, after Steve had aged ten years in just a few minutes, after Tony and Pepper had dissolved their bond and Tony and Steve had decided to give the relationship that hadn't survived the Civil War another chance…

… well Tony would bet good money the positive pregnancy test and ultrasound picture in the ostentatious Cartier box would knock his mate flat out unconscious.

But it was just as important— maybe even more important— that Morgan was excited about the prospect of a sibling, that she was excited to call Steve Papa.

Tony and Pepper had made the split as easy as possible on Morgan, the Alpha still had a room in the cabin and she kissed Tony goodnight and good morning like she’d done every day when they were bonded, shared her coffee and slapped the Omega’s hands away when he tried to take too much food from her plate. When she went to the city to help with restoration and charity projects sometimes Morgan went along too, but it was never a matter of choosing between parents it was just a question of hanging out with Mommy in the city or staying at the cabin with Daddy and the revolving door of various Avengers and everyone else who seemed to hang out at the lake.

… and of course, Steve.

The Alpha had sat at Tony’s beside as he recovered from the gauntlet, had tip toed around Pepper in the beginning and fallen head over heels for Morgan and her antics. Only after Pepper and Tony had talked about the truth of Tony’s still present feelings for Steve and parted sweetly, amicably, and still wholly loving with each other did the Captain finally make his move.

He’d swept Tony off his feet into a whirlwind courting that had involved ridiculous amounts of flowers, chocolates, terrible but achingly tender poetry, hand drawn pictures that painted the Omega like an angel... all things Steve swore he should have done years ago.

So now there their life was Pepper who made every inch of their cabin a home, Steve who gave his shield to Sam and spent the days training with Bucky and the newest team that had stepped up to fill the gap, Tony who had been relegated to house Omega and was thrilled with the chance to simply be home with his baby and tinker in his new lab, and Morgan who apparently couldn’t wait another second to shriek about how she was going to be a big sister.

“Daddy!” the five year old practically howled when Tony didn’t answer for a long minute, baring her teeth and trying her best to growl in frustration. She was a long way from being Alpha anything, but she sure was determined to act it. “Can I tell Papa Steve or not!”

“Yeah baby.” The Omega finally relented. “You can tell Papa Steve. He’ll be really excited about it. How are you going to tell him?”

“Shoes!” Morgan exclaimed. “I’m going to give Papa Steve shoes!”

“I can actually feel how proud your Mama is by that choice.” Tony said dryly. “What sort of shoes, Bug?”

“These ones!” Morgan scrambled out of the bed with a hilarious amount of wriggling, then reappeared with an equally hilarious amount of wiggling before proudly presenting Tony with a pair of bedazzled sneakers in a precious size two. “They used to be mine and I found them in my closet! I can give them to Papa Steve for the new baby!”

“Well what if the baby is a boy?” Tony asked very seriously and Morgan replied very seriously, “Boys can be bedazzled too, Daddy.”

“Ah. I stand corrected.” The Omega picked up the little shoes. “Alright then. You can tell Papa Steve with bedazzled shoes. I think that’s a really good idea.”

“Yay!” Morgan grinned up at him. “How are you going to tell Papa Steve?”

“I’ve got an idea or two.” Tony said vaguely and dropped a kiss on her forehead. “Go wash up and I’ll make breakfast. When Papa Steve comes home you can tell him first.”

“And then we’ll tell Mommy!”

“And then we’ll tell Mommy.”

***************

“Tony?” Steve shut the door to the cabin and called for his Omega mate, stretched his arms up over his head and grimaced when the muscles in his back pulled. He didn’t know if he’d ever get used to being older, to being in his mid forties and sore after a hard work out with Sam and Bucky.

He was still a long way from average, he was still a long way from normal but now the Alpha looked older, felt slower, felt human and despite the sore muscles, Steve was grateful for the change.

He and Tony never would have worked after Thanos if Steve was still super powered and eternally thirty while Tony struggled with getting older every day. In fact the Omega probably would have turned his court down flat if Steve was still Captain, so giving up the shield and complaining of an achy back was worth every second so long as he got to come home at the end of the day and do this.

“My mate!” Steve raised his voice a little and listened with a grin for the sound of tiny feet rushing down the stairs, and the slower steadier trod of Tony’s shoes as he and Morgan came to greet him. “Where’s my family at?”

“Here, Papa Steve!” Morgan dashed forward and held her little arms up so Steve would swing her into the air and the Alpha did exactly that, laughing out loud at her shrieks and giggles. “I’m here! I’m here!”

“Oh, maybe let’s not do that high enough to bonk heads on the rafters.” Tony scolded only mildly. “Not all of us have unbruisable skin, Papa Steve.”

“These days, even I bruise like a peach.” The Alpha set Morgan down gently and ruffled up her hair, then moved to pull his mate up close and bury his nose in the curve of Tony’s neck, inhaling the Omega’s sweet scent with a grateful sigh. “Hello, sweetheart. I missed you today.”

“Alpha.” Tony tipped his head to the side and purred in contentment when his mate nuzzled at his throat, scratching sensitive skin with the prickly edges of his beard. “Long day?”

“Don’t know how you do the normal human thing.” Steve confessed, the words muffled in Tony’s shoulder since he was loathe to leave his mate’s embrace even long enough to talk. “I stubbed my toe today and thought I was dying.”

“Didn’t you have a passel of health issues before the war?” Tony laughed at his mate, then wheezed when Steve tickled at his side in retaliation. “I feel like stubbing your toe isn’t as scary as consumption or diabetes or weighing ninety pounds as a full grown Alpha.”

“It’s equally as scary.” The Alpha maintained, and it was good to laugh again, good to smile again and to smile specifically with Tony. There’d been a time after the Battle for New York when the Alpha and Omega had drawn close and then closer still, and those days Steve laughed more than he ever had. But then there had been Ultron and the Winter Soldier and Siberia and Thanos--

--anyway. It was good to laugh again, and it was better to be laughing with the sweet scent of his mate in his nose and the comforting weight of Tony in his arms.

“I love you.” Steve whispered into the Omega’s ear and Tony trilled back softly, “I love you too.”

“Papa Steve, I have a present for you!” Apparently done with watching her dad and step-dad canoodle and far past the patience allotted a five year old, Morgan pushed her way between the mated pair and held up a messy yet enthusiastically decorated box. “Open it! Open it!”

Tony would never be over the way the big burly Alpha melted into the name of Papa Steve, and he didn’t bother hiding his grin as an expression three shades past adoring passed over Steve’s face as he very carefully took the package from Morgan’s hands. “Thank you, Bug. I’m real excited to open this, but first tell me, what’d you get me a present for?”

“Just open it and see-ee-ee!” Morgan cried, dancing around excitedly in place. “Open it!”

“Honey?” Steve raised his eyebrows towards his Omega, but Tony only shrugged and motioned towards the box, so Steve smiled down at Morgan again and started to pull the hundred or so pieces of tape off the present.

“...wait.” the Alpha held up the tiny, shiny shoes and scrunched his brow in confusion. “What-- what are these for, Morgan? Is this your way of saying you need new shoes, cos these are at least four sizes too small for you.”

“Not for me!” Morgan shook her head impatiently. “For the new baby! Boys and girls can be dazzled so the baby can wear them no matter what!”

“The new baby.” Steve repeated. “What um-- what new baby? Who is having a baby?”

And then with wide eyes and something that looked an awful lot like disbelief when he realized Tony was pressing gently gently at his own stomach-- “Omega?”

“Surprise.” Tony held up the bold red and white Cartier box and bit at his lip to keep from blurting out everything as the Alpha stared down at the shoes, over at his stomach, then at the next box. “Go on. Open it.”

Steve opened the Cartier box just as slowly and carefully as Tony knew he would, and damn if anyone knew the same Captain that jumped through walls and hurled motorcycles at baddies could be so delicate with a present…

“My mate.” Steve held up the ultrasound photo and pregnancy test in shaking fingers. “Is this-- are you-- are we-- really--?”

“OH NO PAPA STEVE!” Morgan shrieked as two hundred plus pounds of Alpha dropped to the floor in an unconscious pile. “Daddy! What happened?”

“Captain America has been laid low by a black and white photo.” Tony sighed affectionately as he went to get a pillow for Steve’s head. “Red, White and Super? More like Red, White and Unconscious.”

“Does unconscious mean Papa Steve is happy?”

“Yeah, Bug.” Tony lifted Steve up enough to slide a pillow between the Alpha and the hard floor. “It means he’s very happy.”

“I don’t fall over when I’m happy.”

“You definitely don’t, and we definitely can tease Papa Steve about it once he wakes up.”

******************

Pepper Potts was one of the busiest people in the world these days, the Alpha working non stop alongside other influential companies and organizations to bring life back around to something normal after Thanos had been wiped away. There were school to reopen and roads to fix, neighborhoods that had been mostly dusted then completely abandoned to revitalize, scholarships to fund and food banks to stock now that half the world was back.

Even when she was home at the cabin Pepper was working on one project or another, here in the city she attended non stop meetings and conference calls and right at this moment the beautiful Alpha was talking on the phone in one hand, signing a pile of checks with the other, and carrying on a muted conversation with her assistant as they hurried down the hall.

But everything stopped when Pepper caught sight of Steve outside her office with a hopeful smile, a small gift bag and a bouquet of roses.

“Steve!” Pepper finished up her phone call, pushed away the checks and held up a finger so her assistant would wait as she hurried over to the other Alpha and threw her arms around his neck. “Hi! I wasn’t expecting to see you today!”

“Hey Pep.” Most Alpha’s shook hands or grasped each others elbows in greeting, but Pepper and Steve had been through far too much together--not to mention loving the same Omega-- for that sort of formality, so Steve held Pepper tightly, carefully, for a long minute as they hugged. “How are you?”

“Honestly thrilled to see you.” Pepper decided, and ran her fingers lightly through his beard. “You know, I don’t think I’ll ever be used to seeing you my age, Steve. I’m so used to thinking you’re baby faced despite being at least a hundred. I like this look, you seem distinguished instead of scrappy.”

“Scrappy.” Steve laughed and opened the door to Pepper’s office, motioning the female Alpha through first. “I appreciate that.”

“Ohhh you smell like home.” Pepper stepped close and sniffed at his neck again. “I miss the cabin and Tony and Morgan. I thought trading in my power suits for books on compost heaps was the hardest thing I’d ever do, but as it turns out getting back into those suits to try and put the world back together is way more difficult.”

“I don’t think anyone’s surprised that saving the world is harder than fertilizing.” the Alpha said dryly and Pepper wrinkled her nose at his sarcasm. “When will you be home again?”

“Not for a few more days.” Pepper sighed. “I’m going to call Tony tonight but it’s not the same as being home with you guys and Bug. What brought you all the way into the city, anyway? Has Tony blown up the garage? Drained the lake for some ridiculous reason? Oh no did Morgan have her first broken arm?”

“Morgan and Tony are fine.” Steve was quick to assure her, but a little less quick to place the gift bag on the table and pull out the little shoes. “But… we have some news.”

Pepper picked up the shoes with a smile and turned them over a few times in her hands. “Oh I remember buying these, Morgan was too small to even walk when we got them! Tony accused me of trying to start a shoe obsession early, but then he was the one to put them on her at least three times a week, wacky Omega. Why do you have them, though?”

“Bug gave me them as a present.” Steve said slowly, quietly. “A present for the new baby.”

“The new baby.” Pepper echoed, confusion furrowing her brows for a few seconds before realization had her slumping back in her chair. “...oh my god. You and Tony--”

Steve waited with bated breath, hands clenched and heart pounding. Out of all the conversations he’d thought to have one day, telling his mate’s former Alpha they were expecting a baby hadn’t even made the list.

“You and Tony.” Pepper said again, and then she smiled, a hand over her heart as her scent swelled warm with affection. “That’s amazing, Steve.”

“Really?”

“Tony and I didn’t think it was possible a first time, and after Morgan we never thought to try again.” Pepper ran her fingers over the rhinestones on Morgan’s shoes and her smile softened even more. “Congratulations, Captain. I’m very happy for the two of you, and I’m sure Morgan is thrilled to be a big sister. But why are you here telling me when I’m sure Tony has some no doubt extravagant way of announcing it to the entire team?”

“Well um--” Steve cleared his throat and clasped his hands between his knees. “Pep, I know we don’t have a traditional sort of relationship-- you and Tony dissolving your bond but still co-habitating, Morgan calling me Papa while still calling Tony Daddy and you Mama, three adults helping raise one kiddo-- it’s not a normal sort of relationship.”

“Mmm-hmm?” Pepper waited and the other Alpha cleared his throat one more time before continuing--”

“Getting to know and love Morgan has been one of the best things about the last six months. She calls me Papa Steve and I never thought I’d care about that sort of thing, but now it’s my favorite thing in the world right next to Tony calling me Alpha.” Steve reached across the desk for Pepper’s hand and squeezed her fingers lightly. “I want this new baby to know and love you like Morgan knows and loves me. Want him or her to have three parents and a big sister and a house full of love and--”

His throat closed up as Pepper’s eyes filled with tears. “--I guess what I’m saying is that I’d be honored if you stayed with us. Not just honored-- thrilled. I want you to stay with us, Pepper. It’s probably not even my place to ask you to keep calling the cabin home, but I’m here doing it anyway. You and Tony aren’t mated anymore but he loves you so much. You’re Morgan’s mom and have been a constant presence in my life for fifteen years now and it just-- it wouldn’t feel like family without you around, Pep. That’s all there is to it.”

“Oh.” Pepper wiped at a few tears as they dripped down her cheek. “And here I thought you’d ask me to move out so you can repaint the bedroom walls for the baby.”

“Tony is already drawing up plans for an extra room for the cabin that is roughly the size of most people’s houses.” Steve sighed and Pepper laughed through her tears at him. “Plus, I’ve only known for most of a day and I’m already overwhelmed, Pep. All those times you joked about being the one who keeps Tony’s world together-- not really a joke, right? I don’t know how you did it all those years.”

“Sure you do.” she murmured confidently. “All it takes is loving that Omega until your heart hurts with it, and everything else comes along easily.”

“Well, it would come along easier if you were there too.” The Alpha stated. “Please? Stay with us.”

“It would be awfully inconvenient to move all my clothes from that big beautiful closet Tony built me.” Pepper teased and Steve’s big shoulders relaxed in relief. “I appreciate the sentiment Steve, but with or without this beautiful new baby, I have no intention of moving out of the cabin. It’s home no matter what, whether it’s home to just us and Tony or us and Tony and Bug and a new baby and the several dozen people that seem to consider it a free for all restaurant on Friday nights.”

“I love you, Pep.” Steve grinned, and she scrunched her nose just like Morgan always did and replied, “I love you too, Captain. Now then, can I give you some advice?”

“Please, God yes.”

“Spoil Tony for the next few months.” Pepper picked up her phone and scrolled through a few pictures before turning the screen so Steve could see it. “With Morgan we never got to do the fun things expecting Omega’s go through-- the maternity shoots and the baby showers and all that. The world was in chaos and Tony didn’t feel right making a big deal about anything, but this time around--”

Steve took the phone and looked through the pages and pages of different pictures and lists. “This was my idea board for when we were expecting Morgan. I looked up photographers and studios, all sorts of organic creams and stretch mark lotions, overpriced novelty items beautiful clothes...” Pepper’s smile was wistful. “Spoil him this time. Give him all this. Tony deserves it.”

“...I feel like a pregnancy boudoir photo shoot would be more about spoiling me.” The blond Alpha paused over a rather... risque... photo of an expecting Omega, his eyebrows flying up high. “I mean... wow.”

Pepper laughed at him again. “Well I’ll be home soon to celebrate with everyone, but until then kiss our unorthodox little family for me, okay?”

“Always.” Steve leaned over the desk and kissed the pretty Alpha on the cheek. “Thank you, Pepper.”

“Take it from an Alpha who’s been there with Tony? You’ve been gone four hours and if you aren’t home soon with sea salt chocolates and something with a ribbon on top, your pregnant Omega will lose his mind.” Pepper said authoritatively, and Steve yelped in alarm, grabbed up the little shoes and dashed from the office.

“Good luck!” she called as he ran, and once the door was closed, Pepper decided to put off her afternoon meeting for just a few minutes more so she could start shopping for baby shower gifts.

She and Tony weren’t mates anymore but they were best friends, and she had every intention of giving the Omega everything he’d wanted last time around and wasn’t able to get.

“Baby bibs in Tiffany blue and onesies in Cartier red?” she mused, and clicked ‘add to cart.’ “Oh, I think those are entirely necessary.”

*****************

Dinner at the cabin the following Friday was attended by more people than usual. Carol and Nebula had returned from… well from wherever they went in space, Harley had driven up from college and picked Peter and Ned up on the way. Sam and Bucky were back from training new recruits and apparently intent on eating Tony and Steve out of house and home, Scott had brought Hope and Cassie, Bruce had to sit on the porch and talk through the window, Rhodey and Happy flew in with Pepper who was still doing paperwork on the helicopter as it landed in the yard. Even Clint and Natasha made it in from the farm, Natasha still a little too pale and a little too weak after the events at Vormir had been reversed, Clint a little quieter than he’d ever been before as he held tight to Tasha’s hand.

The cabin was full and the tables were groaning under the weight of all the food, the teenagers and Scott shrieking about some video game in the living room while Sam and Bucky argued about everything from whether or not string cheese counted as actual cheese to who looked better with the shield on their back. Pepper had her arms happily full of Morgan, Rhodey was listening warily to Tony’s latest story about an attempted invention and the house was loud right up until Hope shrieked in alarm when Harley and Peter got a little too carried away and a video game controller winged out from the living room and nearly hit her.

It was snatched away by a web a split second before Hope ended up with a bloody nose, and the room went quiet when the two barely presented Alphas peeked around the corner with guilty eyes and even guiltier expressions.

“Alright, there are officially too many kids in here!” Rhodey decided loudly. “Boys! You’re banished to the yard! You too, Scott!”

“Aw man!” Scott whined. “I’m like forty, you can’t just banish me!”

“Son, tou’re like four.” the Colonel retorted and Pepper hid a smile in Morgan’s hair. “Get out there with the boys and wreak some havoc by the lake!”

“Calm down, platypus.” Tony stood on his toes to kiss Steve and in the same motion stole most of his mate’s food away. “This time next year Morgan will be big enough to build explosive things and you’ll be wishing for Harley and Pete’s mess once you’ve got Mini Me blowing holes in the-- oh crap.”

The Omega swayed on his feet and nearly fell over, and Steve grabbed him up tight. “My mate? Okay?”

“It’s nothing, just a little lightheaded.” Tony forced a smile that quickly turned to a grimace when Carol offered him some of the veggie and ranch dip. “Nope, can’t eat that. The smell of ranch makes me nauseous and I’m pretty sure the baby is making me allergic to all things dairy. And my allergies are super bad right now-- this kid just hates my nose.”

“Uh, which kid hates your nose?” Carol asked, and then with a quick look down at Tony’s stomach. “Are you eating for two right now!?”

“Tony!” Rhodey’s plate slipped and fell from his hands, splatting unnoticed on the floor as he gaped at his best friend. “Are you serious?”

Belatedly, Tony realized what he’d said, that their secret was out in the open before he and Steve had even talked about how to tell their extended family, but before he could back pedal or clarify or anything, Nebula cried out in excitement and Clint whooped and pounded at Steve’s back and Carol put her fingers to her lips and whistled at the top of her lungs and the room descended into sheer chaos, round after round of congratulations and excitement and cooing and pressing at Tony’s belly while the mated pair were bombarded with questions.

“Oops?” Tony offered his mate an apologetic half smile. “Didn’t mean to announce it quite like that.”

“Well, I guess this is as good a time as any to give you your present.” Steve whispered to his mate, and pulled an envelope from his back pocket. “And by presents, I mean the first of at least a hundred I’m going to get you for making me the happiest Alpha in the world. Here you go, sweetheart.”

“Oooh presents!” Tony tore open the envelope, and his eyes widened when he saw the gift certificate inside. “A boudoir photo shoot for when I’m further along? Captain Rogers! How forward of you!”

And then with an entirely cheeky grin, “I love it. Thank you.”

“I uh--” Steve cleared his throat and tapped at one sample picture specifically, where the expecting Omega was swathed in sheer red and gauzy blue material and laid out on a lounge. “I like that one.”

“No, we should do them outside and naked!” Tony’s scent lifted sweet and happy and Steve rumbled in immediate approval. “And I want a milk bath! And I want one while I’m wearing expensive jewelry! And one where---”

Tony kept talking excitedly and Natasha sidled up next to Pepper to ask under her breath, “Pep, are you okay?”

“Of course I’m okay.” the Alpha smoothed Morgan’s hair back from her forehead and asked, “We are very excited about the baby, aren’t we Bug?”

“You’re excited for your former mate to have a child with his new mate.” Tasha asked pointedly. “Really?”

“Oh Tasha.” Pepper smiled when Steve bent Tony over into a long kiss in the background. “I love Tony to death, but trust me when I say Steve can have this round. I intend to eat popcorn and drink wine and watch Steve fret himself bald over this whole thing.”

“Is Tony going to be that high maintenance?” Natasha finally smiled too, unable to help it when the room smelled like happy and content Omega. “I wasn’t around much with Morgan since the world had just ended and all. Was he terrible?”

“Oh my god.” Pepper laughed out loud. “Trust me, Tasha. That Alpha has no idea what to expect when Tony’s expecting. This is going to be a ride.”

“Somehow I think the Captain is up to the challenge.” Natasha tilted her head and watched as Steve hand fed his mate a piece of garlic bread. “Yeah, I think they’re gonna be fine.”

*************

SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE FIC!

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL AUTHOR!

*************

@ships-galore @ceealaina @izziebladez @cwar1864 @hausoffro @tonystarkisanangel @multishippinglife @girlnic @iam93percentstardust @paranormalmoonlight5 @igotloki @moosette05 @wayward-student-philosopher @kaz-brekkers-gloves @atomicfandombomb @1fuckingshitup69 @agentlokii @livewire28 @tulipsnbigcats

#ncts fics #stony #tony stark #steve rogers #post endgame #abo dynamics #morgan stark #pepper potts

256 notes · View notes

anotheronechicagobog · 4 years

Text

Brian Zvonecek x Reader Wake Up

Written by: @anotheronechicagobog

Warnings: Swearing, childbirth (from both animals and people), mention of miscarriage, mention of infertility, mention of fear and insecurities about not being able to get pregnant, it’s really not as angsty as it sounds I’m just being careful, fake Instagram post at the end

“You’re the only one I wanna wake up to”

“Well, we’ve been married for seven years so I should hope so.”

“You know what I mean, Y/N.”

“I do.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Brian went to work you dropped your daughter Sasha off at school before heading to work yourself. You weren’t a first responder, you were a doctor technically, but not one for humans. You work at the aquarium as a veterinarian. It was an interesting job, you were always up doing something interesting. For example, as you were performing an ultrasound on a guitar shark, all that you could think about was how your mom had wanted you to be an accountant. “And there’s the heartbeat, there is at least one pup in there. I’d like to check again in a month or so, there hasn’t been a lot of research done on these guys so I don’t know how long gestation will be, or even how many pups she’ll have in total. Let’s get her back in the exhibit, I’ll set up another appointment. And her handlers? That’s you- and you? Okay great, we’ll need to up her allotted food. I think just straight up doubling would be best, if that seems like too much you can dial it back, and if it seems like too much page me, got it? Good.”

You still smelled like seawater and blubber when you got home to a tea party in your living room. The sight of four massive firefighters wearing tutus and costume jewellery all while crammed into tiny chairs at a tiny table always made your day. “Hey guys, mind if I steal a lemon square?”

“Mommy you’re home!” Sasha tackled you as well as a five-year-old could. “Is Halo pregnant? Is she?”

“Yes, she is. There is at least one baby on the way. There are probably more though because...?”

“Guitarfish in the wild have six babies on aberage!”

“That’s right! Look at you, getting so smart!”

“Yeah, soon you’ll be smarter than me.”

“She’s already smarter than you, Brian.”

“Hey!”

“That’s not nice uncle Sevy. No more cookies for you.” Kelly looked genuinely hurt at the punishment Sahsa had dolled out on him. “But they’re chocolate chip. Chocolate chip is my favourite.”

“Then you shouldn’t have been mean to daddy.”

“I’m gonna go shower, you guys continue with your tea party.” You left with a wink and a kiss on Sasha’s forehead. Brian got this soft look in his eyes as he regarded the two of you, and in the back of your mind you weren’t surprised. He’d never been shy about wanting two or three kids, you’d just been delaying it a bit because of how labour intensive your work was. And there was the added danger of what could happen to a fetus under lots of water pressure when you went diving into the large, and deep, exhibits. But you didn’t want to put off the discussion any longer, if you were being honest, you wanted more kids too, and there was already going to be quite the age gap between Sasha and any future sibling(s). You thought about how to bring up your points, your concerns as you stepped out of the shower into the steam-filled bathroom. Ultimately, Brian could not and would not force you to have another child. If you didn’t want another, he would leave it at that because he understood where most of the labour in the reproductive system lay.

Kelly, Matt, and Joe were still in your living room hanging onto Sasha’s every word. Every few seconds Sasha would slap on of Kelly’s hands away from where it was creeping towards the cookie plate. You spotted Brian in the kitchen, prepping a roast pan of potatoes, carrots, and sausages for dinner. You slinked up to his side and kissed his cheek. “Mhmm, you don’t smell like whale anymore.”

“Gee, thanks. What a way to make your wife feel special.”

“I’ll just put this in the oven and then dinner should be ready in forty-five minutes. Why don’t you join the princesses and I’ll set the table.”

“How about I set the table, you finish cooking dinner, and then we leave the princesses alone for a minute and we have a talk in private?”

“Am I in trouble?”

“No.”

“Then sure.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You two had stepped into the guest room, Brian slightly confused. “Is everything okay? And why are we talking in the guest room instead of hours?”

“How would you feel about turning this room into a nursery- I’m not pregnant, but what if we started trying to have another kid?”

“I- are you sure? I mean, I know with work-”

“Brian, I want another kid. Truthfully, I’ve felt bad putting it off this long, creating such an age gap.”

“Hey, you were doing important research that revolutionized-”

“I know, Brian. I don’t regret it, I’ve just felt bad. I see how some of the Hermann Horde are closer than others and a lot of it is due to age. They’re at different stages in their life so they never get the chance to have the same interests or go through things together the same way.”

“You’re thinking about it the wrong way. Sasha will be able to advise them on so many things in ways we just can’t. And she’ll be the cool older sister because she’ll know different things and have different freedoms. They won’t fight as often because they probably won’t like the same toys or clothes, Sasha will teach them how to deal with us, I mean they might not be close at first, but they’ll have such a great relationship when they get older.”

“Sasha is going to be amazing big sister.”

“Without a doubt.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been ten months. You still weren’t pregnant. Honestly, it was stressing you out. What if you couldn’t get pregnant now? What if you waited too long and some problem popped up and now it was too late? You could tell it was wearing on Brian, too. “Mom? Are you okay? You and dad seem... Off lately.”

“Oh, yeah, we’re both okay, don’t worry honey.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” Sasha didn’t look convinced as she walked into her school, but you let it be. You took a moment to ground yourself in your car before driving to work. You loved your job, absolutely loved it, but diving was your favourite part and you couldn’t do that while trying for a baby. Once you said you were taking a break from it all your co-workers immediately assumed you were pregnant again. You’d gone from joyful suggestive looks and hugs to pitiful glances and concerned pats on the shoulder. It was grating on your nerves and insecurities.

Today Melody, a harbour seal, was predicted to give birth. Everyone was on edge. Sometimes these things happened on schedule, sometimes they didn’t. But regardless you remained solely on-call for the perky seal. And while desperately hated to admit it, you were jealous. Of a seal. Who gets jealous of a seal? What kind of person did that make you?

You were brought out of your reverie when Melody plopped her head in your lap. Her eyes soulful. Worried. Was the labour starting? You did another check, and she was. You yelled for your assistants.

Poor Melody, she was in pain, and you could tell she was nervous. This would be her first pup, and even mothers got nervous about their first borns, you supposed. You made sure to stroke her head when you could. “Don’t worry Melody, everything will be okay.” The birth had gone smoothly, Melody and her currently unnamed pup were doing well when pain ripped through you. It was as it someone took and electron pole and buried it in your abdomen. You screamed and fell to the ground. The pain you incurred from hitting your hip and your head on the ground were nothing in comparison to what was going on further down. Oh no, what if I am pregnant and I’m having a miscarriage? The pain stopped but only for brief moments and the only time you could remember feeling anything close to as bad as this was minutes before giving birth to Sasha.

Everything was a blur of distressed seal noises, salt water, splashing, screaming, and sirens. You came back when Dr. Manning gave you you’re diagnosis. “That’s- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- not- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

“It’s called a ‘cryptic pregnancy’. I know it doesn’t feel real because you didn’t go through a normal pregnancy, but you are in labour. Don’t worry, Maggie’s called 51, Brian is on his way.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Y/N! I’m here- what’s going on?!”

“So- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- as it turns out I’m pregnant.”

“Actually she’s in labour.” Doris bluntly spat at Brian, she raised her eyebrows and pulled her lips into a line, all of which conveyed just how much she was judging you poorly at the moment, the next bucket full of gossip for MED churning in her head.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU KNOW WHAT DORIS, MOST WOMEN HAVE NINE MONTHS TO PREPARE FOR GIVING BIRTH AND I’VE HAD LESS THAN AN HOUR SO SHUT THE FUCK UP, GET OUT, AND STAY OUT! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” You honestly felt like you were dying, and the absolute last thing you needed was a catty, gossipy nurse making an already life altering and stressful moment more so. She quickly bolted out of the room, April taking her place. She was quiet, subdued, clearly thinking of her failed attempts at getting pregnant. And while you felt awful for her, you were immensely grateful for a nurse that wasn’t Doris. “I’m right here, honey.”

“You smell like smoke.”

“You smell like fish.” Him in his turnout pants and you in a put up wetsuit, you really did make a pair.

“Touche- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“Squeeze my hand.”

“I’ll probably break it.”

“I’m yours to break.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

#One Chicago #Chicago Fire #chicago med #otis zvonecek #brian zvonecek #brian zvonecek x reader #otis zvonecek x reader #Kelly Severide #matt casey #joe cruz #Natalie Manning #april sexton

104 notes · View notes

broadstbroskis · 4 years

Text

surprises- pt 2 | mat barzal

back for part two! thanks for the love on part one! i would like to highly encourage you all to watch how i met your mother, which is referenced in this chapter, and is one of the all time greatest tv series (with one of the all time worst endings-does it count as spoilers if its this old??)

anyway, enjoy part two💜

part one

-----

Mat rolls back into town a week after you’ve confirmed the results. So just when you think you’ve got your panic under control, you and Molly catch him walking out of his apartment as you’re walking out of the elevator back toward yours, and the panic flares up immediately.

“Hey!” Mat grins, walking faster to meet the two of you at the elevator, where Molly is holding the door for him. “Missed you guys!”

“You too!” Molly says, when it becomes clear that you’re incapable of speaking. “How was home?”

“Good.” Mat smiles. He looks lighter, happier, as relaxed as he always does upon his return from home. You almost laugh when you realize it won’t last long. “But it’s great to be back.”

“Always is, right?” Molly smiles.

Mat nods. “Yeah, and not just because you two won’t be killing my plants.”

“Oh shit!” Molly slaps her mouth over her hand and you freeze, eyes wide. In all the panic, you two had totally forgotten to even attempt to water, let alone replace the plants in his apartment.

“Oh shit is right!” Mat laughs, used to this particular brand of chaos from you and Molly. “Usually you guys at least pretend like you’ve done work and buy new ones! What happened?” You look down, avoiding his gaze completely, and Molly coughs out a string of words you’re certain aren’t English and definitely aren’t a real sentence. “Oh shit, did something actually happen?”

“Do you want to have dinner with us tonight?” Molly blurts.

“Molly!” You cry.

“Okay, never mind?” She hesitates.

You sigh. No, her first thought was right. It’s best to just rip the bandaid off. “No, tonight’s fine.”

Mat’s giving the two of you a weird look-well, actually, it’s directed mostly at you. Like he’s finally noticed you refuse to meet his eyes. “Is everything okay, you guys?”

“Yeah,” Molly assures him. “We’re good!”

“YN?” He asks hesitantly. “Are you okay?”

“Yep.” You squeak, eager to go take some deep breaths away from his presence. You’ve got some thinking to do about this evening. “All good.”

Mat eyes you skeptically, but shrugs one last time. “I’ll see you guys tonight then.”

-----

Around fifteen minutes before Mat is due to arrive at your apartment for dinner, Molly pulls on a sweatshirt and starts to make her goodbyes. “Well, hit me up if you need me; Brian says his offer to beat Mat up still stands.”

“You’re leaving?” You ask incredulously, from the kitchen, where you’re filling a bowl of chips to snack on before pizza arrives.

She gives you a look. “I mean, do you really want me here?”

“Yes!” You huff immediately.

Molly presses harder. She knows you too well. “Really?”

You sigh. “No.” It’s definitely something you want to do on your own. Just you and Mat.

“Right.” She laughs. “I’ll come as soon as you call.” She promises, reaching out to hug you supportively. “If you want me back tonight, I’ll be here!”

“Thank you.” You squeeze her one last time and then let her go.

The next fifteen minutes rival only the time you spent waiting for the line to appear on that first pregnancy test you took just over two weeks ago on how high your anxiety is. UberEats buzzes your phone, notifying you that your pizza has arrived, so you slip down to pick up dinner, noting the slightly open door of your apartment when you come back up and pausing for a minute before entering yourself.

Mat’s arrived. This is it. No going back once you step inside.

“YN!” A voice that is decidedly not your neighbor’s shouts the second you walk in the door. “Aw man, and you’ve got pizza? A woman after my own heart!”

You freeze in the doorway as Mat slugs the arm of his teammate. Anthony Beauvillier just laughs. “Sorry.” Mat apologizes. “Just for his everything. I figured you guys wouldn’t mind if he came though.”

“Heh.” You say, unable to articulate a real thought. Under literally any other circumstances you wouldn’t have minded Tito being here. But now? This second?

“Where’s Moll at anyway?” Mat asks, looking around.

You realize that you’re still frozen in the doorway and start to make your way toward the two of them slowly. “Uhh she’s uhh at Brian’s.”

Mat frowns, like he’s trying to place his name. “The guy all over her Insta?” You nod. “Rude. Invites us over for dinner and then ditches us?” He pulls out his phone and starts texting. “I’m going to give her so much shit.”

“Heh.” You say again, looking for any subject to move on to. “Should we eat?”

“Fuck yeah, I’m starving.” Mat says, throwing his phone down after finishing his text.

You try to smile at that, try to keep things as normal as you can as the three of you make small talk while you get plates and pizza. You’ll just tell him later. Tito will go home and you and Mat will talk at the end of the night. Or tomorrow. You’ll go over first thing in the morning and tell him if you need to.

You’re so distracted by this thought you don’t even notice Tito. “Beer?” Mat nods and Tito chucks him one from the fridge. “YN, catch?”

“No thanks.” You say nervously.

Tito shrugs but when he comes over, he’s got two bottles in his hand and he slides one over to you. “Which one?”

“Uhh.” You hesitate. This was not how you wanted this to go down. “Neither.”

Tito laughs. “I’ve never seen you turn down a beer! What, are you pregnant?” He jokes.

There’s absolutely nothing you can say to that so you bury your face in your hands, unable to face Mat, who’s now choking on a very poorly timed sip of beer.

“Holy shit!” Tito mutters repeatedly. “Holy shit, holy shit.”

And it’s that that finally gives you the strength to look up at Mat, tears in your eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“Get out.” Mat gestures to his best friend, voice still sounding absolutely wrecked from minutes of choking.

Tito’s already moving before he even says it. He’s got his beer in one hand and grabbing one of the pizza boxes in his other and practically running from your apartment. From the silence between you and Mat you can hear the door to Mat’s place slam shut and then Mat, who hasn’t taken his eyes off of you since you looked up at him, opens his mouth to speak, but you cut him off. “I’m so sorry.” You repeat and then the damn breaks, the sobs coming uncontrollably.

Mat’s arms wrap around you, pulling you close the second he gets over to you. He presses soft kisses into your hair and holds you closer and closer but you’re fairly certain that he’s crying the same as you are the entire time.

-----

It’s hours before you can lift your head again and you only know that because it’s dark outside your window. Mat has, apparently, moved the two of you to your living room couch at some point, because his arms are still wrapped around you and you’re both lying comfortably on the couch, instead of collapsed into his arms from the chair. He doesn’t seem to notice your arrival back to Earth, one hand just gently moving through your hair, and so you take a shaky breath and start. “Please don’t be mad.”

“Mad?” He sounds incredulous and his hand stops moving for a second, but just before you have time to mourn the loss, picks right back up. “I mean-” He lets out a deep breath. “How could I be mad?”

You shrug. You’re pretty sure you’ve hit every emotion on the spectrum since you found out, including anger, and you tell him so. “I’ve been a bit of a wreck for the last couple weeks.”

“Well I think you’re allowed to be.” Mat replies. “But weeks? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“About two.” You tell him softly. “I really didn’t want to tell you over the phone.”

He’s silent at that. “You could’ve...I don’t know. Told me to come home, or something. I would have been on the first flight back.” Yeah, he probably would have; you’re almost certain of it. But the time to process the news yourself was needed, whether you knew it at the time or not. “I’m sorry you were going through this by yourself.”

“You’re here now.” You tell him. “That's all that matters.” He drops another kiss into your hair. “And now we can talk about what to do going forward.”

He freezes. “What uh. What do you want to do?”

You pick your words carefully. “I want you to know that I’m not holding you to anything. Really! I just wanted you to know-

“I’m going to be here.” Mat cuts you off.

“Okay, but you don’t-”

“YN.” Mat says, maneuvering himself so he can look at you. “I’m serious. I’m here for this, all the way. You’re in, I’m in. Whatever you want to do. Okay?”

You nod. “Okay.” You repeat.

“Good.” He smiles at you, the first time since the news dropped, and you hesitantly return it.

“Brian did threaten to beat you up if you weren’t in, so I guess it’s good you’re sticking around.” You poke him.

“Skinny little Brian, all over Molly’s Insta?” You nod. “You don’t think I could take him?”

You shrug. “Won’t have to find out, will we?”

Mat laughs, lying his head back against the pillows and pulling you close again. “I’ll find something to throw down with him, don’t you worry.”

-----

Your first official check up with your OB/GYN has you feeling so much better about the baby thing in general. Anxieties eased with your questions answered, you text Mat a picture of the ultrasound on your way home, captioning the picture we have a cherry.

“Where are you?” He demands, when he calls you less than a minute later.

“Walking into the building.”

“You went without me?” He sounds hurt, legitimately so, not like he’s faking it for the dramatism, and it occurs to you that maybe you should have let him know what was happening. But there were just so many weird things changing with you; you just wanted to be able to fire off questions to your doctor about everything.

“I’m sorry.” You suppose you could have just kicked him out of the Q&A portion of the day. “Really. I just-you can come next time, I promise.”

“I want to!” Mat says quickly.

“Are you home?” You ask. “I can come over right now.”

He is, so instead of going over to your place, you bump over into his, where he is, unshockingly, playing some video game with Tito. Mat shuts it off the minute you enter though. “Hi.”

“Hi.” You laugh, sitting down in the chair across from them, delighting in the look on Tito’s face as he looks between the two of you.

“I guess...I’m going...to go.” He says slowly, making no moves to stand.

You fight back a laugh. “Tito, d’you wanna stick around?”

“Yes!” He grins at you immediately. “How’s our little girl doing in there?”

“Our?” Mat parrots. “What do you mean our? What role did you play in this?”

“Godfather, obviously.”

“Oh, you think?” Mat grins.

“Actually, right now, you are one of five people who does know about this.” You tell Tito. “And I’d like to keep it that way until we get a chance to tell some other people we need to.”

His eyes light up. “Can we call ourselves Team Baby?”

“You can call yourselves whatever the fuck you want as long as you keep it between us three, Molly, and Brian until 12 weeks and you don’t get those stupid fucking t-shirts made, alright Ted Mosby?” He’s already texting; you’re sure he and Molly are already in plans to make shirts.

You look over at Mat, laughing at his friend, but Mat’s just eyeing you carefully. “You’re okay?” He asks. “Everything’s good?”

You nod. “Right on track.”

Mat nods, looking more pale than you’ve ever seen him, and he breathes out a deep breath. “Right. So we’re having a cherry then.”

“Next week, it’ll be a strawberry.” You inform him.

That does absolutely nothing to decrease the worry on his face.

#mat barzal imagine #mat barzal fan fic #hockey imagines #hockey fanfiction #nhl imagines #nhl fanfiction #my hockey fics #surprises series

265 notes · View notes

thebluenoteblog · 4 years

Text

Oh, Baby

Summary: Your lie leads to a fight which leads to a silent treatment and a very interesting hockey game.

Player: Colton Parayko

Word Count: 3.5k

Requested: Can i request a fic with colton where he and y/n fighting or having an argument but he has to leave for the road trip the next day so you don't have time to apologize then when you want to call him to apologize turns out he calls you first? I really like all your fics! Bur really love the colton ones! Good job!

You sat on the bathroom floor staring blankly at the wall with the test grasped loosely in your fingers. What a colossal fuck up. What a massive, grade A, absolute fuck up. You tossed the test up angerly into the sink then sunk back against the wall with your head in your hands. You’d done it now. You’d really gone and ruined everything.

You were pregnant.

You had only been dating Colton for six months and the idea of sitting him down right now and telling him that you were having his baby was the most terrifying nightmare that you could imagine. You had faith in him. You knew he wouldn’t walk out on the baby. But… what if he walked away from you? What if he did something even crazier like… propose?

You allowed your head to fall back, smacking against the wall as your eyes fell closed. Literal nightmare. You pulled your phone out of your pocket and looked up the number for your doctor’s office. There was no sense in telling him anything until after everything was confirmed by a blood test and an ultrasound.

You scheduled an appointment for the next week and climbed back to your feet, buried the test in the bottom of the trash can then opened the door. There wasn’t any time to sit on the bathroom floor and be pathetic. The game came was coming on in a few minutes.

****

Thump, Thump, Thump, Thump, Thump.

You stared at the monitor in awe as tears filled your eyes. That little blob was your little blob and you loved it. It had a heartbeat and as you were answering the doctor’s questions about yours and Colton’s genetic histories you had come to realize something else. This baby was half Colt.

You could picture a baby boy with the palest skin, lightest blonde hair and the brightest blue eyes, always filled with curiosity. You could see a toddler on his first pair of skates wobbling around the ice. A little boy running around the playground always faster than everyone else, so much taller than all of the other kids in his class. More determined to succeed than the other kids and doing it effortlessly but doing it so quietly and humbly that no one noticed.

For the first time since the positive had shown up on that pregnancy test you were happy. The problem was you still didn’t have any idea what to expect from Colton when you told him. Because now not only were you pregnant but you’d known for a week and neglected to tell him. For three days you’d had an excuse while he finished up his road stint, but he had been home for six and was leaving the next day. Still you’d neglected to spill.

You had the excuse of the doctor’s appointment until today.

Which meant you had to tell him tonight.

You prayed for a win.

“You look to be measuring at around five weeks,” the doctor said casting a smile in your direction before she returned her gaze to the screen to snap a few pictures. “The baby’s heartbeat is strong. Everything looks great.”

You walked out of the appointment with three pictures of your little baby, a video of his heartbeat and the feeling of a piano having been lifted off of your chest but chained to your ankle.

****

They lost. Badly.

You left Enterprise right after the game and headed home without waiting for Colton. You sent him a quick text message simply: come over to my place. I’ll cook for you.

He didn’t respond right away but you didn’t expect him to. Half an hour later he responded with: I’ll be on my way soon.

You were moving around your kitchen throwing the ingredients of a dish that you knew he loved together in a way that you had memorized by this point when he walked into the house. “Kitchen!” You called anxiously.

You had yet to decide whether or not you were going to tell him about the baby after their horrendous loss to the Canes. So, when he walked into the kitchen all smiles you were relieved. You were expecting a grumpy Colton, not a happy one.

“Do you just call out what room you’re in every time someone walks into the house?” He asked, “What if I was someone breaking in?”

“I live in the suburbs.” You said while stirring the pot on the stove, “The worst crime I’ve seen since I moved into this neighborhood was some kid setting up confetti cannons to go off when people opened their front doors.” You looked up, “That’s why I’m thankful I don’t have a storm door.”

“There’s a first for everything,” He said moving closer to look over your shoulder at what you were cooking. He studied it for a moment then asked, “Is this pity food?”

You laughed, “No.”

“Is it…” He paused, “Guilt food?” He studied you and you avoided his eyes, focusing your attention on the pot and stirring with more focus than was probably needed. “It is guilt food!” He exclaimed, stepping around you to lean against the counter so he could see your face. “What did you do?” He asked.

You narrowed your eyes at him, “Who says I did anything?”

“You’re making me guilt food, you basically admitted it.” He said, “That means you did something. So, spill. It obviously isn’t that big of a deal or you’d be more concerned. What, did your ex leave you more flowers?” You shook your head, “Did you wear one of the other guys jerseys to the game?” You just laughed in response, “Come on your killing me here, (Y/N).”

“You have to eat the guilt food first,” you said with a laugh. “I wouldn’t even say it’s guilt food… just… put you in a good mood food.”

He groaned and stepped behind you, wrapping an arm around your waist, pressing himself against your back and using his free hand to brush the hair off of your neck. He pressed a kiss to the bare skin of your shoulder just above the line of your shirt. “Come on, tell me. You know I don’t like to wait.”

You sighed as he continued the trail up the side of your neck then whispered in your ear, “Please, (Y/N/N)?”

Well, he’d done it. He found your weakness. Your brain was only halfway functioning as you whispered, “I’m pregnant.”

You didn’t realize the words had come out of your mouth until you felt him freeze behind you. After his long pause you were halfway expecting him to drop his arms, back away, and retreat from the room, maybe even your house. But he didn’t. He pulled the wooden spoon out of your hand and placed it on the counter then took half a step backwards, so he had room to turn you around. Now that you were facing him he looked into your eyes and in the most dazed, confused voice you’d ever heard leave his mouth, asked, “What did you just say?”

You hesitated for a moment, biting your lip as he stared down at you. You could tell he was beginning to get impatient when finally, you managed to tell him for the second time, “I’m pregnant. We’re having a baby.”

His eyes widened but he didn’t say anything, clearly shocked into silence. You would give him his moment though. He was still taking it better than you had. He hadn’t thrown anything. You lowered your eyes to the floor, took a deep breath and then twisted to turn off the burner.

When you turned back to face him Colton was staring at your stomach. “There’s a baby in there?” He asked quietly. He still sounded confused. Not angry. Not indignant. Just confused like he couldn’t quite wrap his head around the idea of there being a tiny human running around the world with his looks and your stubbornness.

“Yeah,” You said, “I went to my first ultrasound today. I have the pictures if you want to see them.”

He slowly looked up from your stomach to meet your eyes. “You went to the ultrasound without me?”

You licked your lips nervously while shifting your weight from foot to foot. It hadn’t really occurred to you that he might want to go to this appointment. He was so busy with playoffs coming up and you had been so upset about being pregnant at the time that you had just assumed he would be as well. Though somehow judging by the hurt look in his eyes it seemed like a bad idea to tell him that you thought that he wouldn’t be interested in going. “I wanted to be sure before I said anything. I didn’t want to worry you unless I had to.”

“How long have you known?” He asked now taking a step back.

You responded slowly after an awkward pause, “A week.”

“How could you keep something like this from me for a week, (Y/N)?” He asked. He wasn’t yelling, his voice was a controlled calm. “We’re supposed to be a team. You can’t lie to me about stuff this big.”

“What if it had been nothing?” You asked.

“Did you think it was nothing?” He responded, his tone rising for a second before he calmed it again. This was a man who laughed when people tried to punch him yet he was struggling to control his anger over something you had done.

Your lack of an answer was more than enough of an answer.

He crossed his arms and stared at the floor. You pulled your lip between your teeth and stared at him. There was a tense silence for some amount of time that seemed ungodly but probably wasn’t actually that long.

You shuffled your feet along the hardwood floors, “Are… are you mad at me?”

“Yes… yes (Y/N), I’m mad at you.” He said, and you winced because you didn’t even need a full hand to count the number of times that Colton had openly admitted to being mad at you in the six months you’d been together. “I’m already going to miss so much. I could have actually been there today. You didn’t even think to give me the choice.”

“Colt, I was scared!” You defended, arms crossed over your chest and chin stuck out stubbornly. You briefly felt a flash of pity for your boyfriend if the baby did, in fact, inherit your stubbornness.

“Of what, (Y/N)?” He asked, rather loudly for a man who prided himself on so rarely getting angry.

You snapped back, “Of what you would say! Of what you would do! I didn’t know if you would want to have a baby with me! What if you thought I was trying to baby trap you or something?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He asked, shaking his head. He took a step away from you. “Wow. I thought our relationship was a hell of a lot more than that. I thought you knew me better than that.”

“People do crazy shit when they’re stressed,” you told him, again finding yourself defending your position.

He just continued to stand and shake his head at you. After a tense silence he turned and walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. You followed, closely on his heal. “Where are you going?” you asked him.

“Home,” He said. “I can’t do this right now.”

“Colton do not walk out that door,” You stated with wide eyes as he pulled on his coat. He eyed you with a look that very clearly said I’d like to see your microscopic ass stop me.

He made it all the way there, had his hand on the door knob, then sighed. For a moment your heart lifted as you thought he had decided to stay. He turned to you, pressed his lips to your forehead and said, “I love you.”

Then he was gone.

****

You realized that you were wrong about five minutes after he walked out the door. Your pride however, would not allow you to call him and apologize. To be completely honest, you didn’t think he would answer if you did. You’d never seen him this angry with you. He had never walked away from you in the middle of a fight.

This time he’d completely left the house.

You’d expected him to stop by the next morning before he left and fix things. Nothing. Radio silence. Not even a text message.

Then he left town.

Without another word.

That was when you got an idea of how angry he really was. You could never imagine him doing this, let alone five minutes after finding out you were pregnant. It was so uncharacteristic for him. You’d really fucked up and you knew it.

But even the day he arrived in Boston you were too afraid to call him and apologize. Too afraid that he would ignore your call, send you to voice mail, or tell you that he was done with you. A thousand worse case scenarios ran through your head every waking moment of the day and hormone and fear induced nightmares destroyed any chance you had of regaining your sanity while you slept.

You almost didn’t watch them play the Bruins. You almost decided to sit in the bathtub with some music playing, tune out life and pretend that your world wasn’t falling apart. Though as you sat down on the side of the tub, before you even turned on the water, you sighed and shook your head.

You couldn’t miss the game.

You hadn’t missed a Blues game by choice since years before you’d started dating Colton. You weren’t going to be so petty that you chose this one to miss. For all you knew he would play amazing and you would miss it, then you would feel horrible and it would make the situation even worse.

So, you stood your miserable ass up, made your way into the living room and turned on the pregame. You saw him for the first time since he walked out the door two days before as they showed clips of him skating around the ice during warm ups.

He looked out of it. He wasn’t talking to any of the other players like he usually did. He wasn’t smiling or laughing or tossing pucks over the glass. He was going through the motions. You really hoped that he had more life than that during the game.

A small part of you was relieved that he was as unhappy as you.

A bigger part of you hated it.

The game started, and you really wished it hadn’t. The first twenty minutes was nothing but Colton missing passes, overshooting the net by a mile, and giving the puck to the other team. By the time intermission came you were really wishing you could have a glass of wine.

Then second period started.

What Chief said in the locker room you would never know, and you were sure Colton would never tell you but things turned around really quick. His first shift he came out onto the ice skated straight to the player with the puck and completely destroyed him in the middle of the ice. He passed the puck to Perron who buried it in the back of the net.

Everyone looked a little bit surprised, especially the dude in black and yellow still in the process of regaining his balance as the Blues celebrated their goal. You were right there with them. He didn’t stop there. His next shift was on a Blues power play and after almost taking off Rask’s head with a slapshot, he was passed the puck again a few seconds later. Back of the net. Blues 2-0.

Colton with an assist and a goal. Two points in five minutes after the cluster fuck that was the first period. Lord bless Chief and whatever magical powers he possessed.

Not long passed before Colton was throwing his hands in the air, indignant look on his face as he skated to the penalty box. “St. Louis 55, two minutes for charging.”

Well… yeah. It was a good call. But Colton was pissed. He wasn’t talking or laughing or smiling in the box like he usually did. No. He was angry.

He came out on the ice ready to fight. You didn’t even have time to register who the player with the puck was before Colton smashed him into the boards.

Colton is a big guy. He was pretty angry when he made the hit, so it was safe to assume that he hit the guy pretty hard. It was also safe to assume this because the Bruin’s feet came out from under him and struggled to get back up. His teammates didn’t seem to like this very much.

You watched with wide eyes as Wanger got in his face, well… tried to get in his face, yelling something. They dropped their gloves.

And holy shit, Colton won the fight.

The best part of the entire game? It was listening to Pang’s commentary on Colton’s random personality change. “That sure was something from big fella, number 55. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him lay a hit like that on someone!”

“And the big fella follows up his assist with a goal? So, what do you think was said between periods Kelly? Have you ever seen this kind of aggression from Parayko before?”

“Well Kelly, I didn’t think I’d ever see the day that Parayko took a charging penalty and a fighting major in the same game. That must have been some chat in the locker room.”

And you didn’t realize it until John Kelly responded but when he did you actually laughed at the absurdity of the entire situation. “Well Pang, Parayko just completed a Gordie Howe hat trick. That is definitely a first for him.”

You decided in that moment that you really needed to call him before the Blues played their next game. Someone was going to get hurt.

****

You wanted to call him that night when the game ended but you knew you would have had to wait until he got to his hotel in New York, god knows when. So reluctantly you laid down in bed deciding you would call him in the morning.

Though you couldn’t sleep, so you were laying in bed reading a book at three thirty in the morning when your phone started ringing. It was a facetime. You didn’t have to look to know who it was from. There was only one person who ever facetimed you this late at night. You jumped across the bed and grabbed your phone off the charger, sliding to answer it then settling back against the headboard.

He was sitting in bed, no shirt, hair a mess. “Hey,” you said.

“Hey.” He said.

“So…” You started, “Gordie Howe?”

He pulled a face, “I was really hoping you didn’t watch tonight. First period was brutal.”

“Second period was fun though.”

He gave you a stern look, “(Y/N), I sent a guy to concussion protocol.”

“He was cleared,” you defended.

He sighed, rubbing his forehead, “I don’t think that’s the point.”

“Actually,” you said, “I think that’s a huge part of the point.”

“(Y/N).” He said, stressing your name in a way that made the smile fall off your face as easily as it had come. “This isn’t why I called.”

Oh, right. You were pregnant. You lied to him about it. You went to an ultrasound without him. He was pissed. He left town without making up with you. There were a lot of big things happening in your relationship right now.

“I’m sorry-,”

“No,” He said, “I’m sorry.”

“What?” You asked, actually confused. You were wrong. You knew you were wrong. Objectively, most people would say that you were in the wrong.

“I’m sorry that I left the other day without fixing things,” he said. “I’m sorry that I left town without coming by to see you.” He shifted the phone and readjusted himself on the bed, now leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “I shouldn’t have done that to you. It was a dick move. I’ve felt like shit about it since I got on the plane.”

You shook your head, “You shouldn’t be apologizing, Colton. I’m the one who should be sorry. I lied to you. I took something away from you that you can’t get back and that wasn’t fair.”

He sighed, looked down at the floor as he responded, “Do I wish that you would have told me, and I could have been there? Yes, I do. I really fucking do. Do I hate why you didn’t tell me? Yeah, it really sucked to hear. But it happened. It’s over. I love you and I love this baby, and nothing changes that.”

“Colton,” you said quietly, and he looked up at his phone. You could see his eyes. They weren’t sad like you thought they would be. “I love you too,” you smiled at him, “and for what it’s worth, I wouldn’t want to start a life with anyone but you.”

Slowly, he smiled back at you. “Babe, I’ve never wanted a life with anyone as badly as I want one with you.”

#colton parayko #colton parayko imagine #colton parayko imagines #nhl imagines #hockey imagines

363 notes · View notes

eleanorbloom · 4 years

Text

When You’re Ready Ch. 13

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x f! MC (Eleanor Bloom) x Ethan Ramsey.

Word Count: 3.6k

Warning: Bit of angst and cursing.

A/N: Hello! This chapter is shorter than usual because I decided last minute that the last third fitted better in next chapter. Eleanor went really deep today trying to figure out her feelings, so, even if could seem a bit boring, it’s really important for the next two chapters.

I also wanna give a special thanks for all the support I’ve recieved from all my works! I can’t believe we are on chapter 13 already! When I updated my masterlist today I realized that this will be my 20th work publised here! 20 work in two and a half months. That’s a looooot 😲😲 So, thank all of you for your constant support and patience with my mistakes and my experimental writing. Currently this is not as difficult as it was in the first chapter, when I had no experience writing fiction in english, but now that I have more confidence, I’ve been experimenting with style and more elaborated words, metaphors and situations, so thank you for your patience in this matter, I hope I find my voice and stick to a more stable style soon hehe.

BIG HUGS to all of you!! ❤❤

I hope you enjoy this new chapter!

Taglist @utterlyinevitable @binny1985 @shanzay44 @choicesficwriterscreations @laiba-the-person @starrystarrytrouble @lahellacute @lucy-268 @cinnamonspongecake @romewritingshop @bratzlahela @mckenzie-bae @mercury84choices

___________________________

Chapter 13. Million Reasons.

I’ve got a hundred million reasons to walk away

But baby, I just need one good one to stay.

Tchaikovsky was almost inaudible among the horns and cars passing by the streets of Boston. It was hot for midday, and as much as the AC was the best way to mitigate the heat, Eleanor would always prefer the Bostonian wind percolating through the window at her side of the car.

She was lost in the people walking hurriedly through the sidewalks with who knows how many concerns, joys, and miseries, in a quick game of people-watching to shut her mind for a second. To forget she was alone with Ethan in his car on their way to the Harbor Marina. To ease the pit that she feels in her stomach every time she expects something from someone. A sign of useless hope, disappointment guaranteed. A pain of hope that would always turn into deception.

And now, even with all past experiences, with all the painful conversations in mind and the heartbreaking goodbyes playing in her mind like a broken record, there she was, waiting for something from him again. Her biggest flaw always manifesting.

She could’ve avoided the trip, make an excuse, politely decline, but it would’ve been evidently unprofessional refusing to go with Ethan just after what had happened the day before. He would have known. He knew her enough to notice it. And if she wanted their working relationship back, she had to act professionally. Set an example. And the simpler way to go with it was asking Esme to check on her patients while she was away and then joining him in the parking lot at the agreed time.

She didn’t know what to expect, though. She didn’t even know if she should expect something from him at this point. Worry, apologies, more arguing, more recriminations.

What she actually wanted was to confirm he wasn’t the asshole he was yesterday, that he didn’t mean what he said. That the man she still loved wasn’t this selfish and hurtful. But of course, she had to have in mind that the apologies may not come as she expected, or that they may never come.

But her desire wasn’t created out of nowhere. The moment she saw him this morning, she knew something was different. The cold glare, the conscious ignoring, the distance. There was none of that. Somehow, she felt like the wall between them had fallen. His eyes were looking at her differently, his demeanor towards her was soft, and even his voice wasn’t grave as it used to. But maybe it didn’t mean anything. He had just understood he couldn’t keep being this cold and unprofessional, and he was ending all that and now they would act as nothing happened. Like this almost two months didn’t happen, and they are two friendly colleagues.

“May I ask how are you doing? I’ve been worried about you after what happened yesterday.”—Ethan asked giving a quick glance at her.

Eleanor was taken aback. Although she was daydreaming with the best possibilities, she didn’t expect his words all of a sudden and decidedly mentioning the discussion they had yesterday.

She turned her head to her left and stared at him defiantly, determined to not give in so easily, even if that conversation was all what she wanted.

“You were worried, really? Yesterday it didn’t seem.”

His shoulder slumped imperceptibly at her response, though he tried to remain imperturbable.

“I know. I know it looked like I didn’t care about what you were feeling, but at that moment, I felt… overwhelmed with everything.”

As Ethan didn’t continue, Eleanor turned her head forward, fixating her eyes on the car that was upfront them. After a few moments, she felt how Ethan glanced at her every few seconds.

“What’s wrong? Aren’t you gonna say anything?”—Ethan said after a minute of silence and no reply to his first question.

“Like what?”

“Like how are you doing? I told you I was overwhelmed at that moment, that’s why I reacted that way. But I am genuinely worried about you.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I just had the stupid hope that you would explain why it was so overwhelming to you to the point of not giving a fuck about the mess I was. My bad.”

“And what should I say?”

“For god’s sake, Ethan.”—She snapped in a jaded tone.—That’s something you should know considering what happened yesterday. If you think you did something wrong, of course, ‘cause if you think that you were all good all the time, there’s nothing left to talk”

“I…”—He stopped as the words couldn’t come out of his mouth.

A brief moment later Ethan parked in the Harbor Marina, and Eleanor didn’t even wait a second after Ethan turned the engine off, to get out the car and walk to the spot where Caroline Bloom indicated the yacht would be parked. After a minute, Ethan appeared behind her with the ultrasound in tow, just as she found Leland and Caroline talking with a group of people on the deck of the yacht.

“Ah, Doctors! Just in time! We’re about to set sail.”—Leland greeted as Eleanor and Ethan stepped in the boat.

“Where can we set up. Mr. Bloom? Somewhere private is best”—Eleanor asked motioning her head to the machine.

“Later, later, I was in the middle of an important discussion and I’d like to finish it before you resume your poking and prodding.”—He chuckled at the incredulity on Ethan’s face, and then added: —“Relax, make yourself at home. I’ll be with you as soon as I can”

Ethan tried to stop him, but Eleanor spoke before he could say anything.

“We're on a boat, Ethan.”—She pointed with obviousness.—“He’s not going anywhere, and it’s not like Tobias can sneak ahead of us while we’re here.”

And without expecting a word from him, Eleanor turned around and walked to the opposite side of the boat looking for a quiet spot to sit in and take in the stunning view that was forming as the yacht navigated across the sea.

Soon she got absorbed by the deep blue ocean in front of her, the saline smell, the brisk air, and the luxury of the quietness, feeling free from all the noises, smog, and the suffocating heat of that summer afternoon.

Those involving feelings made her wonder how different it felt from the fragment of the sea she was swimming yesterday evening. It was the same sea, the Atlantic Ocean, boarding the same city, Boston, with only a dozen miles away, but still, it made her feel so different.

How the depth could add so much beauty, when it is so terrifying and risky the farthest you are from the shore, from the safety zone? Because the farthest it is, the more mysteries and dangers can be found inside.

How much you can find if you jump and dive into the immensity of the ocean, with equal parts of wonders and terrors waiting for you at the bottom of the sea? Is it worth the risk? Or it’s better contemplating from above or just from the safety zone?

Soon she realized that the same question applies to people. The deepest connections come with baggage, unknown baggage. Equal parts of wonders and terrors, or maybe more terrors than wonders or the other way around. It’s unknown, but most of the time, jumping and diving into the depth of a person, between their fears, traumas, manias, dreams, feelings, could worth any risk, even if it’s a pure gamble.

Did that apply to what made her love Ethan? She had been looking for the answer for months, even in the oddest and more impossible places and situations, and today it wasn’t any different. Maybe the water had the answer.

Was it the sense of deepness? Since the beginning, they had a deep connection, even if it wasn’t romantic at first. Ethan understood her way to see life, her passion for medicine, and to help as many people as she could. And she, in return, could understand that he drives his life by a series of principles, that the medicine and the people come always first. But how deep she knew him actually? It was inches from the shore? Feet? Miles? Was she willing to go for miles away from the shore and jump in? Take the risk of getting to know the deepness of his heart, with hall his pains, frustrations, limits, and flaws?

And what about Bryce? She couldn’t help but think about how poorly she knew him on the inside at first, even when they began dating. She knew his charms, his strengths, his qualities, his capacity, but never knew his fears, his flaws, his failures, his deepest regrets. And now she knew him. Since she met Keiki, everything changed, and the missing part that stopped her from loving Bryce on another lever was filled like a jigsaw. He used to show her exactly how he felt. Tired, scared, angry, sad, jealous, all of it. And that was an important component to love a person unconditionally, fully. To fall in love. Something that she had found difficult before Bryce let her in. And now she could say with all honestly that there wasn’t a single part of him that she didn’t like.

The deepness… Something she had always been craving but maybe never knew what it meant. Past friends and lovers made her believe she found it. But it wasn’t. She thought she found it with Ethan. Hard not to. It was a grown-up man, smart and curious. He always had a way to push her and understand all her motives and what drove her in life, so it gave her the sense that that was the deepness she had always been looking for. But now that she has met a new kind of deepness with Bryce she had to wonder: Was it what she was looking for? That’s what she wanted in love? Or Bryce had had the answer all along?

She was so immersed in the profundity of her thoughts that didn’t hear the steps approaching her until Ethan stood by her side and offered her a lemonade.

“Oh. Thank you”—She said startled, looking at him for a brief moment before turning her eyes to the front again.

Ethan cleared his throat and imitated her, fixating his eyes on the water swiveling in front of them.

“I knew there was something between Lahela and you.”—He said after a few minutes of silence.—“I heard rumors, and even Naveen told me he had seen you with him, but I couldn’t believe it, I didn’t want to believe they were true. I thought you were having a fling with him and nothing more than that. He does seem like the guy with whom you just… sleep with and have nothing serious.”

“Wow, even you get carry away with reputations, looks, and prejudices? You of all people, Ethan?”

She turned to face him, changing the cobalt of the sea for the sky blue of his orbs. It was an act of bravery. His eyes still managed to make her feel weak. There were too many memories linked to those beautiful sky eyes.

“I have to admit that I did. That’s why I couldn’t believe it, and that’s why yesterday I reacted that way. I couldn’t understand that you were so naïve to be with a man that was just using you. I could have never imagined that he… that he could be serious about you and be deserving of you.”

“The number of sexual partners of a person doesn’t say anything about them. You can’t judge a person by that.”

“It’s not the number, or what does he do with his life, it’s just that he seemed to be a person who can’t commit and respect you, so I was worried he might be fooling you.”

Eleanor snorted.

“You talking about commitment? Oh, god, you cannot be serious.”

“Why not?”

“You have no idea what commitment is. You always ran at the slightest idea of commitment when I mentioned it.”

“That’s because I know my faults. I took a step back because I know what I could and couldn’t give you, and I thought he couldn’t give you enough.”

Eleanor looked around, checking if there were people near that could hear their agitated conversation, even if she was trying to be as discreet as she could be.

“You thought, you thought.”—She repeated, irritated—“You just assumed things, but never cared to ask. If you were so worried about me, why the fuck you never asked me what was going on?”

“Because it wasn’t my place to do it.”

“Oh, but yesterday you did seem to have a place to say all that crap about Bryce.”

“I know. That was very disrespectful. I shouldn’t have interfered in your private life like this”

“Disrespectful?! Really, Ethan? You insulted my boyfriend in my face. You told lies about him in front of me when you didn’t even dare to confirm your suppositions. That wasn’t unrespectful, it was hurtful, selfish, and cruel because you didn’t do it just once, you did it twice.”

He sighed and his shoulder slumped as if he felt defeated at the mention of the word boyfriend coming out of her mouth. As if he had been still in denial, but there was nothing left to deny now.

“I know, it would have been better if I asked you, but… We were nothing to ask you something so personal. I was just your boss and your colleague.”

“Are you sure about that, Ethan? Because let me remind you that aside from all the Gwyneth thing, you ignored me from the moment you started suspecting I was dating Bryce, because yeah, I always knew you were suspecting. So, you weren’t acting just like my boss, you were my jealous ex-something who ruined my first months in the Diagnostics Team just because you were a coward that didn’t have the balls to face the truth, as always.”

Ethan stared at her ruefully. He wasn’t capable of saying anything, but the least he could do was nod and accept her accusations.

The uncomfortable look lingered only a couple of seconds before they were interrupted by Leland Bloom announcing that he was ready to let them examine him.

An hour later, after spending the rest of the trip chatting with Caroline about her husband and the possible missing information about his symptoms, and socializing with the rest of the guests, Ethan and Eleanor got in the car as soon as they put a foot in the Harbor Marina.

A few minutes after Ethan drove onto the main highway, he broke the silence between them for the third time.

“I’ve been thinking about why I never asked you about Lahela.”—He started— “And the truth is that I didn’t know how to deal with the fact that you could love someone else.”

She felt a lump inside her stomach as she noticed how painful those words were for him. How much he didn’t want to say them. How much he hated to be in that position.

“Ethan…”—She whispered, completely moved by his vulnerability. –“But why? Why you let me go if you weren’t sure you wanted that in the first place?”

“It was the only thing that I could do, Eleanor. I wasn’t ready, and I think I’ll never be ready to let you go, but I had to do it for your own good.”—He scratched the back of his head— “I could’ve never imagined that it would hurt so much seeing you moving on so easily.”

She gave him a humorless smile even when he wasn’t looking at her.

“It hasn’t been easy, Ethan. I have a constant fight inside my head, every day. You have no idea how scared I am at the possibility of breaking the heart of the only person that has given me everything, and the constant guilt of not being able to love him the way he deserves. It’s a nightmare, and has been hell after you indirectly started blaming me for doing something I only did for me, because I needed to heal after you left."

“You’re right. I’m sorry, Eleanor. I know I shouldn’t have made it more difficult than already was. I was so selfish.”

Eleanor shook her head, incredulous.

When Ethan parked outside Edenbrook, Eleanor turned to him.

“Why, Ethan? Why you always have to get to the point where all that’s left is your apologies? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s all you know. I’m always forgiving you, and I’m tired of that. When will be the time when you won’t get to the point of hurting me, of avoiding say you’re sorry and just… do the right thing?”

He couldn’t say anything.

His posture stiffened as he closed both hands on the steering wheel until his knuckles went white. She was right and he couldn’t hold how angry he was at himself anymore.

“Listen.”—She said in a conciliatory tone. —“This hasn’t been easy for any of us, that’s a fact. We both have our ways to deal with the pain. I chose to do it by giving myself the chance to love again, because someone offered me a way out, knowing perfectly well what I had been through and respecting my boundaries and my fears. You chose to do it the worst way. With denial, jealousy, and selfishness. It was wrong but now is your chance to make it up by leaving us in the past and by being the boss, the colleague I need, but no more than that.”

He nodded.

“Eleanor…”—He took her hand before she could get out of the car.—“I understand what you’re asking me, is what you truly deserve but… I need to know if... that’s really what you want?”

She faced him again

“Why is it important now? You never cared about what I wanted, only what was ‘good’ for me.”

“I know, but maybe I’ve realized that I was wrong. That there are more important things that what I consider good for you.”

“I think is too late for that.”

“Is it really too late? Even if you’re still in love with me?”

Her eyes widened for a second when she felt a shiver down her spine. She never thought he would react that fast. Maybe he knew he was racing against time. He wasted so much time these months and he had to act quickly.

What was happening, was something she had dreamed for weeks since he left, and maybe a couple of times since he was back; but now she didn’t know how to react. What to feel. What to expect. It was confusing. Bittersweet. Because it felt wrong. He couldn’t open the door to Ethan just like that, even if Bryce had ‘allowed’ her to, because those weren’t the circumstances she had imagined. However, that’s what she got, and she had to take charge of her choice.

What she was about to say had a mixture of feelings. She couldn't deny that there was hope, but it wasn’t the same as the hope she had four months ago when he left. It was clouded with fear, the fear of making the same mistake again, and it was tinted with the feeling that she was doing something wrong. Maybe, deep inside, she didn't want to do it, but she felt like it was her last resource.

And the other feeling was… Bravery, she knew opening the door would help her to put in order her feelings, just as Bryce told her the day before. If she let Ethan be the man she loved, maybe there was a chance to know if she was willing to jump the ship and dive into the deepness of his wonders and terrors. She sensed that only getting to know him as he really was, would, at last, find out if she still loved him or she was just trapped to a part of Ethan that only existed in her memory.

It was risky, it would be hard, but that was what she probably needed to end all this tiring process. In any case, it was just open the door to possibility, but not to let him in.

“Maybe not.”

He couldn’t help but smile with relief.

“Don’t get your hopes too high, though”—She added—“I’m still with Bryce and I won’t break up with him just because maybe you gonna try to make things work out between us.”

She was opening the door, but she wouldn’t make things easy for him. Bryce hadn’t had things easy with her and took a big risk. She wouldn’t let that Ethan think he had some sort of advantage just because she was in love with him. If he wanted her, he’ll have to strive.

“I understand.”

“Okay, anything else? Because I’m done with this situation.”

“Just one more thing.”

“What?”

He stared at her for a few seconds, trying to transmit sincerity and regret.

“I’m really sorry about what happened yesterday, Eleanor. For how I made you feel and what I said about Lahela. That was totally out of line and wrong. I shouldn’t have let it affect me this bad, but it did, and I hurt you on the way. I am sorry. I know you don’t want to hear any more apologies, but you deserved a better apology than what I gave you earlier. I hope this is the last time.”

Eleanor remained silent for a few seconds, thinking. She was done with grudges and fights. She got what she wanted and had no intention to prolong the bad relationship between them. After all, she always knew Ethan wasn’t bad on the inside. But he made mistakes and he’ll have to live with them, at least until he proved with facts that he was really sorry, and those weren’t empty words as usual.

“I accept them, but don’t expect things to go back like they were before.”

He nodded with somber eyes.

A moment later, she got out of the car without looking back.

_____

29 notes · View notes

vonnyphant · 3 years

Text

To Blog or Not to Blog?

“You should start a diary and write about your experiences. It may help people going through the same thing.”

Honestly? If there’s one thing I discovered about this diagnosis, it’s that it makes me pretty damn selfish. I don’t want to help other people (not just yet, anyway). But putting some thoughts down about this time in my life may be of some sort of therapeutic value, and I do want to help myself.

(Maybe for once, saving the world can wait. Do you remember how, soon after the pandemic hit, people stopped avoiding plastic and single-use items? When your health is at risk, suddenly rainforests and polar bears and the planet are deprioritised- not that anyone will admit to this. But this is my diary and I can say what I want!* Writing for myself it is.)

Having established my less-than-Mother-Theresa-like reasons for this blog, my conscience cleared, it’s time to start. This is where the Lifetime movie shows me, in a half daze, mellowed out on drugs while they sew a mediport into my chest to start administering chemicals. A fast lane to my bloodstream. A docking station. The soundtrack? Hopefully ‘Across The Universe’ by the Beatles (possibly Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. If I get a say in it, I veto The Walrus) Time to pump this body full of drugs that’ll make my hair fall out.

Wait, what?

Voice Over: “Yep. That’s me. You’re probably wondering what I am doing here…” //record scratch - freeze frame - fast rewind to the psychedelic outtro of A Day In The Life//

Two months ago, during rub-a-dub-in-the-tub (less naughty than it sounds, was just washing myself), my mind inexplicably went to an episode of Beverly Hills 90210, s1 (aired in 1992- yes, I am that old), where Brenda Walsh has a breast cancer scare. I say inexplicably, because my usual shower fantasies do not include Ms Shannon Doherty - if I was going to pick a shower lady, I’d opt for Charlize Theron, Kiera Knightly or Winona Ryder in their short-hair phases, but that is neither here nor there.

Say what you want for 90s television- weird outfits and ponytails notwithstanding, in their AfterSchoolSpecial PSA way, they dedicated a whole scene to the girls giving themselves a breast exam, including how-to instructions**, and eventhough I was only 11 years old when I saw it, I remembered what to do, and for the last 30 years, every now and then I have randomly carried it out while wondering how I always preferred Brandon over Dylan and how my tastes have changed over time.

But this time - my hand actually found something.

I took a deep breath and calmed myself down the same way I did after finding spots on my skin, lumps on my head and every time I sneezed since covid-19; by telling myself to fucking snap out of my hypochondria tendencies. One cannot go to the doctor every damn day after all. Breast tissue is pretty lumpy and I assumed it was just imaginary. I made an appointment to see a therapist, and put it out of my mind until a few weeks later, when one of the kids came crashing down on me (literally) and faceplanted in my boob (as they do).

Now this always hurts af, but it just hurt that little more that day, so that I grabbed the appendage in question and went “WHAT THE--!” And I felt it again- the lump, more defined than a few weeks before.

Cue a lot more freaking out than the first time, and after a sleepless night, imagining what my funeral would look like (as one does), I decided to go to the gynocologist the same day or risk never to sleep again.

After a long wait and an ultrasound, my doctor assured me that while there really was a mass, it had every indication of being benign. We should keep an eye on it. If I was worried, I could schedule a second screening, but would not likely get an appointment before April. I scheduled one and tried to focus on preparing our first lockdown Christmas.

But over the holidays, the lump started hurting, even when I wasn’t poking it or having a kid catapult themselves into my chest. I’d be Netflix and Chilling, and suddenly - ZAP - like someone stuck a hot needle into it. Repeatedly. My nipple would go numb or start tingling like a bodypart that fell asleep. It freaked me out, and in the new year, I realised I couldn’t wait until April - I had to get it checked out again or I may worry myself to death.

My gynocologist did another ultrasound and again, told me not to worry. I told her it was way too late for that as I had been worried for weeks, and I wanted the thing biopsied (they gave Brenda Walsh one too, after all! It’s the only way to be 100% sure). She referred me to the hospital. At the description of my symptoms, I could come directly, and the radiologist told me in no unclear terms: “I will not let you leave this room until we draw blood and take several biopsies.” Okay- not exactly what one wants to hear at that point, but at the same time, I figured knowing would be better than guessing by the shape of it.

Test results took a week. I went in, being prepared to be told (like Brenda) it was a harmless clump of random cells or a cyst we could have removed like a wart. Only it wasn’t. It was breast cancer, an aggressive, fast-growing kind, and had I waited until April, that could have had disastrous consequences.

While the doctor explained we now needed to determine the scope of the spread and take more tissue to determine what kind of chemo (if any) could be applied, all my 2020-PTSD brain could think was:

“.............of course”.

Didn’t hear much of what she said afterwards.

Another harrowing 4 days went by, with a CT screening with contrast solutions that gave me an intense stomach ache as well as a migraine, and finally, a fully rounded diagnosis and treatment advice could be made.

Thankfully, all my organs as well as lymphnodes were clear, so it appears to be a localised tumor. And here we are - to fight this thing with chemicals and then cut out whatever is left. Genetics testing to see about the likelihood of a recurrency (and a possible double mastectomy if so - ‘pulling an Angelina Jolie’, ‘not saving the tatas’, insert ‘Think About It meme’...can’t have breast cancer if you don’t have breasts! THINK ABOUT IT***).

Chances are good. I need to cling to that while I wait for this port and treatment to start. I have accepted the inevitable hair loss, have scheduled a ritual ‘crazy hair cutting party’ with my kids for this weekend (as I would rather shave it off in one go than clean up clumps and strands over the course of weeks and look like Gollum), and I have sewn several funny little hats for inside wear and ‘going out’ (though where will I be going in pandemic, idk).

I was going to end this post on a light and happy note - but I must admit my confidence just took a really big hit in real time, as I googled how to spell Shannon’s last name for this blog entry and found out that she was treated for breast cancer in 2015, initially succesfully, but it reappeared metastasized in 2020 (again: ‘of course...when else’) and she is now in stage IV. Fuck 2020.

What are the odds that the woman whose character made me discover my own breast cancer is now, in fact, dying of the same disease? This will surely haunt me for a long time to come.

More tomorrow? Or soon? It may take a while. Until then: outro to It’s Getting Better.

*also for the record I would like to state that I’ve sewn my own masks from upcycled pillowcases and continued using fruit- and vegetable nets to avoid plastic; maybe that makes up for me being utterly selfish at the moment. Karma +1?

** https://youtu.be/pkgYXITkrfw (the scene from BH 90210)

***cis men / trans women without breasts can also get breast cancer (even though it’s rare) so this meme doesn’t really hold up, but that’s the whole point of the meme ;)

7 notes · View notes

ridiculousn3sswrites · 4 years

Text

And Then There Were Three

*Loki x Reader

*Request from Wattpad: ‘Keeley_Greenleaf asked: Hi! I had an imagine request. I was wondering if you could do one where Loki and you have a baby. Like, a delivery one, where the baby is born.’

*Warnings: Pregnancy, pregnancy symptoms, labor, birth, swearing, mentions of previous violence. Let me know if I missed anything!

*A/N: I swear if anyone saw my search history they’d think I’m pregnant, also the active labor part is based on the Try Guys video because Ariel explaining it made a lot more sense than what I was reading. I’m working through some requests I got on Wattpad before I do the Hamilton requests I have, quick little reminder that requests are pretty much always open.

My Ko-Fi if you want to support my writing

**********

When you found out you were pregnant, you and Loki were overjoyed. The second that test came out as positive (and you went to your doctor’s office to confirm), you went on leave from the Avengers - even though there wasn’t a formal process for maternity/paternity leave at all. You didn’t want to tell your teammates why you weren’t taking missions since it was so early on, so you just didn’t. Loki was still taking missions, but according to your teammates, he was being a lot more cautious than before.

First trimester wasn’t the best, but you didn’t expect it to be. It was supposed to be the time when all the typical symptoms showed up, and it didn’t disappoint. When you weren’t taking naps in random locations around the compound, you found yourself trying to fight off the nausea that would always come in random waves throughout the day. Loki was taking missions practically every week, already trying to build up time to make up for the year plus he was planning on taking off. You tried telling him he didn’t need to do that, but he just argued that it’s the principle of the thing.

Loki was away on another mission, and you were napping on the couch in one of the common rooms when the first person got suspicious. “(Y/n), are you feeling alright?” You heard as someone gently shook you awake.

“Hm?” You mumbled, trying to shake the remaining grogginess from your mind. Once the bleariness from your eyes cleared, you saw Pepper standing over you, concern evident on her face. “Oh, hey Pepper.”

“Are you okay? You’ve been really out of it lately. I can call a doctor if you need it,” she said. You just shook your head, moving to sit properly on the couch.

“No, I’m fine.” You motioned for her to sit next to you. She hesitated a second, looking at you and then the seat beside you before finally sitting down.

“Are you sure? You haven’t been on a mission in almost two months.” Pepper rested her hand on top of yours, looking you directly in the eyes. You looked away, trying to decide if you should tell her or not. If she was noticing something was off, she’d bring it to Tony’s attention. You took a deep breath before speaking.

“I’m pregnant,” you explained, finally looking back at her. Pepper’s face immediately lit up, her hand now squeezing yours.

“(Y/n), that’s great! Have you told anyone else?”

You shook your head. “Only you and Loki know. We’re waiting until I’m a little further along to start telling people.”

“Of course, I completely understand. I’m so glad you’re okay, I was really starting to get worried,” Pepper started rambling. “I’m so happy for you and Loki, you’ll be great parents.”

“Thanks, Pepper. Could you… do you mind keeping it to yourself for just a bit longer? We’re going to start telling people in like a month. I just want to get past the first trimester before we start telling anyone else,” you explained. Things were more likely to go wrong in the first trimester, and you just wanted to be (mostly) in the clear before you started telling people about the pregnancy. Pepper nodded.

“Of course, it’s your news to share, not mine,” Pepper told you. “Have you started making preparations? Anything you need, just ask me; prenatal vitamins, someone to go with you to the doctor, anything at all.”

“Pepper, relax,” you told her with a nervous laugh, not knowing how else to react. “I really appreciate it, but right now Loki and I have things under control for the most part. If I need anything, you’ll be the first to know.”

“Right, great. This is exciting,” Pepper gushed one last time before standing and brushing off her clothes. “I should get back to work now that I know you’re not dying.”

That time your laughter was completely warranted, and you could’ve sworn you saw Pepper smiling as she walked away.

**********

Once you were into your second trimester, things started getting a bit easier. You were starting to show right around the beginning of your second trimester, so you and Loki decided to share the news with the team. Everyone was ecstatic when you told them, half the team fighting over god-parent privilege and the other half immediately went to doting on you. Tony and Steve pretty much insisted Loki stop going on missions the second you told them, even though Loki tried arguing it. You weren’t going to complain though - having Loki home meant you didn’t have to worry about him.

You and Loki had started planning things out more, renting a little house not too far from the Compound so visiting wasn’t unreasonable, and your child wouldn’t be in danger if the Compound came under attack. Everything was really starting to come together, and setting up the new house was easy considering you had a team of superheroes helping you move in.

Eventually the time came for your 19-week ultrasound appointment, and you and Loki were supposed to find out the sex of the baby. You didn’t understand why you were nervous - you genuinely didn’t care what sex the baby was. Loki drove you to the office, holding your hand as he did. He could tell you were tense, but he didn’t bring it up until he pulled into the parking lot. “Is there any reason in particular you’re squeezing my hand so tight? Isn’t this just a routine visit?”

“Yeah, but I don’t know. I just feel like this is supposed to be such a huge milestone in the whole pregnancy thing, and we don’t really care what the sex of the baby is, but I’m still… I dunno, nervous,” you tried to explain your thought process. You knew it wasn’t really making sense, but Loki nodded in understanding.

“I’ve heard that even when people say they don’t particularly care about the sex of the child, there’s still a little part of them that does have a preference,” Loki told you. “I know you’re not going to be let down, so just think of it as a normal appointment. We could even just skip finding out the sex altogether.”

“No, you’ve been looking forward to finding out,” you said with a little huff, nerves definitely calmed at least slightly. You didn’t know how he did it, but Loki just had a gift for soothing you. “C’mon, let’s go.”

The appointment went as usual. You were on the examination table, chatting idly with Loki as you waited for your doctor to come in. Once she did, you went through the routine questions. From your answers, she told you things sounded like they were going well, but she just needed to actually do the ultrasound to make sure. Even though you already had previous visits, you still jumped a little at the coldness of the jelly.

“So, are we going to find out the sex or do you want to keep it a surprise?” your doctor asked, putting the wand against your stomach. She kept her focus on you, effectively ignoring Loki’s presence for now. Loki gave you a little offended glance, and you tried not to laugh as you answered the doctor.

“We wanted to find out today,” you told her. She nodded and began moving the wand around on your stomach.

“Alright, so they’re in a little bit of an odd position but everything seems good,” she explained. “If they move a little bit then we should be able to tell the sex of the baby.”

“And how long do you think that will be?” Loki asked. The doctor turned in her chair to look at him.

“Well, it’s all up to baby. We’ll wait a few minutes to see if they’ll move, if not, then we’ll have to wait until your appointment next month,” she explained. Loki nodded, steepling his hands as he sat forward. You could tell he was starting to get a little restless, not wanting to wait another month to find out the sex of the baby.

There was a minute of quiet as the doctor continued looking to see if she could get a better picture of the baby. “Oh, we have movement!” she said after another minute. “Looks like they’re cooperating.”

“For once,” you joked. The doctor just smiled at you.

“And it looks like,” she trailed off, looking closer at the image on the screen. “Congrats, you’re having a baby girl!”

“That’s great!” Loki practically cheered. Well, he was maintaining his cool composure, but with the way his eyes lit up, you could tell he was more excited than he let on. Now that you were sure everything was going fine with the pregnancy and knew the sex of the baby, the appointment was over. Your doctor gave you some advice and guidelines on what to do until your next visit, and you and Loki were on your way. It wasn’t until you were in the car that Loki broke his composure somewhat, looking at you with a huge smile.

“We’re having a girl,” you said with a smile of your own.

“We’re having a girl,” Loki repeated, reaching over and hugging you as well as he could over the center console.

**********

Third trimester came faster than you realized, and things were starting to go downhill. Sure, the closer the due date came, the more excited you got, but things were still rough. You had trouble sleeping, your body was just hurting, the list went on and on. But still, you found this entire thing worth it as long as you were going to deliver your healthy baby girl.

You were going to your prenatal visits as scheduled, you had pregnancy packs at both your old room at the Compound and at your house, and you were just waiting to go into labor at this point. Today was one of the days you and Loki were hanging out at the Compound. Loki was lord knows where, leaving you under the careful watch of one Peter Parker. “How much longer until the baby’s due?” Peter asked, sitting on the opposite end of the couch.

You continued looking at the ceiling, trying to rest a bit since you knew you weren’t going to get sleep for a while after the baby was born. “Technically she’s due in two weeks, but the doctor said she can come pretty much any time during the month.”

“Wait… then why do they give you a due date if the entire month is possible?” Peter had a point there.

“I have no idea,” you replied. “I never really thought to ask her.” Peter started off on a tangent for why he thought doctors give due dates instead of just the birth month, but you couldn’t really focus on what he was saying, distracted by an ache in your abdomen. You’d been having the phantom contractions for a while now, so you just tried to adjust your position to make them go away. When it didn’t go away immediately, you decided to interrupt Peter’s little rant. “Hey, Peter?”

“Yeah, Mrs. (y/n)?” He sat up straighter than he had been. You felt kind of bad for interrupting him, but it was kind of a pressing matter.

“Could you do me a favor and grab me the body pillow from my room?” You asked. You found that hugging your body pillow tended to help when you had the Braxton Hicks contractions before. Peter looked a little horrified at the term ‘body pillow’ and it took a second before you realized why. “Christ, Peter, it’s just a normal body pillow, I’m not asking you to bring an anime pillow into the living room.”

“Sorry, Mrs. (y/n)! It’s just - nevermind, I’ll go grab the pillow.” Peter practically jumped off the couch, rushing out of sight to go grab your pillow as requested. Before Peter had the chance to get back, the ache went away. You felt bad making Peter rush off to find your pillow when the ache went away after a minute.

“I found it!” Peter called out, now running with the pillow. Before you could call out your thanks, you watched as Peter tripped over his own feet, managing to land on the pillow. “I’m okay!”

“Thank you so much, Peter. Are you sure you’re okay?” Peter nodded as he stood, brushing off his pants even though he didn’t land on the ground. He handed you the pillow, and you adjusted yourself to lay cuddling it.

You and Loki left the Compound a few hours later, and your aches had been coming and going for a while now. Peter kept an eye on you as he worked on his schoolwork, worried at your obvious discomfort. You just waved him off, sure that everything was fine and it was just normal discomfort from being heavily pregnant. When you got back home, you and Loki just went through your normal nightly routine; you had dinner, watched a movie, showered up, and cuddled until the both of you fell asleep.

Then you woke up around midnight. The discomfort from earlier was back, but this time it was more intense. You could tell there was something different from the Braxton Hicks you’d experienced before, so you grabbed your phone and started Googling. One thing you’d found in your impromptu research was if the contractions went away after eating something, they were phantom. That’s how you found yourself in the kitchen, eating some cake that you had made a couple days before.

The contractions didn’t go away, so you went to wake up Loki. “Babe, I think I’m going into labor,” you said, taking a deep breath to try and calm down the pain some.

Loki stirred awake, obviously not fully there when he responded. “W-what do you want me to do?”

“The fuck do you mean? Loki, I’m going into labor,” you repeated, slower this time. This time, Loki actually registered what you said, swearing as he practically jumped out of bed.

“Shit, sorry, I’m awake now. Right, I’ll grab the bag and get the car ready,” Loki said.

“I’m supposed to wait for the 5-1-1,” you explained.

“What does that even mean?”

“Contractions five minutes apart, lasting one minute, for one hour. Just put the bag in the car and then please come back and help me out.” Loki nodded, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he went to follow your instructions. You could feel the slight tremble as he did so, his nervousness breaking through.

As Loki was getting things ready for your trip, you went about getting yourself dressed and ready for the hospital. It was the middle of the night so you just pulled on some leggings and a hoodie. When Loki got back, he quickly pulled on some clothes and brushed his teeth before going to help you with your hair, even though you insisted you didn’t need that help.

Once you were ready, the main priority was trying to be comfortable as you waited for the hour to pass. You tried laying back, sitting forward as much as you could, Loki rubbing your back and shoulders, and eventually you just landed on squeezing the life out of Loki’s hand. About forty minutes passed before you turned to Loki. “What do you need, love?”

“Okay, call the doctor and let her know I’m in labor,” you instructed him. “We should start heading to the hospital.”

“Right, do you need help getting to the car?” You were about to deny his help, but as you stood, another contraction hit you. Loki didn’t wait for your answer, putting your arm around his shoulders as he helped you out of your room and to the living room. He sat you on the couch, immediately dropping to slide some running shoes on your feet. He took a second to slip on his own shoes before getting you out to the car.

You heard the tail end of Loki’s call with the doctor as he got in the car, letting her know you’d be at the hospital in about twenty minutes. Loki pulled out of the driveway, driving as fast as he could while still being safe. You were doing the breathing exercises you learned from the birthing classes you’d attended, trying to keep your cool as Loki was driving. There was only so much Loki could do without breaking the law, so you were trying to give him a little room.

Once you got to the hospital, it was a different story. Loki found a parking spot near the entrance, grabbing the pregnancy pack from the backseat before helping you out of the car. The two of you got into the hospital as fast as you could, Loki announcing you were in labor the second you walked through the door. You were immediately ushered into a wheelchair, a nurse taking you to a private delivery room.

The nurse asked you questions, trying to figure out where you were in labor as she handed you a delivery gown. Loki was starting to fidget, obviously trying to figure out what to do with himself. “And when will the doctor be here?” Loki decided to speak up.

“Don’t worry sir, she’s on her way,” the nurse reassured him before turning back to you. “Since your water hasn’t broken yet, we still have a little more time. Please change into the gown and then go ahead and press the call button when you’re done so we can hook you up to the monitors.”

“Thank you,” you told her. She smiled and nodded, patting your hand before turning to exit the room.

“How are you feeling, dove?” Loki asked as she closed the door behind her.

“I mean, other than a baby trying to force its way out, I’m doing okay,” you said, undressing the best you could to put on the gown. Loki got up to help you, making sure that you weren’t overexerting yourself. When you were done, he helped you into bed before pressing the call button for the nurse.

Your doctor arrived within half an hour, checking on you as soon as she got in. The contractions were starting to get worse, leaving you clenching your teeth and grunting in pain, trying to avoid making too much noise. Loki answered questions for you, holding your hand as you tried to fight through the pain. As you squeezed his hand, you were thankful he was a god; if you’d been with a mortal, you were pretty sure you’d break their hand. The doctor told you they were going to give you some time to see if your water would break on its own. If it didn’t, they could break the water for you.

When your doctor left, you focused on your breathing again and trying not to cry out in pain. “Dove, you don’t have to act like we’re in battle right now,” Loki told you softly, stroking his thumb over your knuckles.

“Easy for you to say,” you gritted out. “I’ve been shot, stabbed, broken bones-”

“Are we going through your injury list now?”

“Shut up. All that and this is still up there with the worst pains I’ve ever felt.” Loki’s eyes softened at your words, finally understanding that you were actually in a lot of pain, despite what you were showing.

You and Loki spent the next hour trying to get your water to break; stretching on a yoga ball, dancing (which was mainly just swaying side to side). Going into your second hour, your water broke. Loki pressed the call button, letting the nurse know your water had broken, and within minutes the doctor and nurses came in, preparing for labor. If you thought the pain was bad before, it just got so much worse.

The curtain was put up, Loki was put in a surgical gown to cover his clothes, you were put on the IV pain meds, things were going into motion. The nurses started instructing you on what to do, Loki held one of your hands in his and rubbed your arm with the other, and then the pain got worse. The next hour or so was a blur of pushing, pain, apparently you snapped at Loki a couple times (‘Why the fuck did you do this to me?’ ‘I fucking hate you for this.’), but then your doctor instructed you to give one more push, and your daughter’s cries filled the room.

The nurses went to clean off your daughter and Loki went back to your side, holding your hand. “You did so well, dove. The nurse is going to bring her back in just a moment,” Loki told you, leaning in and pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“I can’t believe she’s finally here,” you said, adrenaline rushing through your body. You knew the crash had to be coming soon, but that would be something to deal with later. It only took a couple minutes for the nurse to come back in with your daughter, placing her on your chest for skin-to-skin. The nurse congratulated you, letting you know she’d be back in about an hour to take your daughter back for weighing and measurements.

“She’s beautiful,” Loki breathed, watching the two of you.

“She is.” You were in awe at the child now resting on your chest, unable to believe she was finally here. “Our little Freya.”

**********

Permanent Tag List: @treatallwithkindness

#loki x reader #loki imagine #marvel imagine #reader insert #requested

46 notes · View notes

juminsmysticmc · 3 years

Text

Pregnancy Series - Part 4.2

Going through the pregnancy

⚠️ Sensitive content -> mention of: pain, miscarriage scare, angst insecurities -> every scenario ends with a happy end! ⚠️

Pregnancy Series: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4.1

Hello! A lot of you seemed to wait for the next scenario so I decided to post it earlier than usually ( most of the time it’s almost midnight for me, sleep pattern, are you planning to be normal again?) Whatever! I hope you like this one, please keep telling me your opinion!

Jumin

The times where your husband worked from home were becoming more and more frequent.

Ever since he found out about your pregnancy and noticed that you couldn’t come to work with him anymore, he made sure to stay more at home.

Even Jaehee got her own little place in his big office because now that you, his second secretary, couldn’t help him anymore, she had to take more work again.

,,I am so sorry, Jaehee,’’ you whined when you stood in the frame, some coffee on a counter with some cookies.

,,Mc! We’re friends! Please don’t worry! I’m glad that I can help you. Besides, Mr. Han is taking a lot of my work too,’’ she smiled as she approached you to help you carry the stuff you bought them.

Jumin looked up and smiled.

He loved to see you with the baby bump. Soon he wanted to have his boy in his arms, feel the baby and his warmth, hear his cries, but he also wished that you could stay like this.

Although, the only thing he didn’t really like about the pregnancy were the little pains you had.

You often laid in bed the whole day because your back hurt or because you felt sick.

Ever since your baby began to move, you had the feeling that your baby kicked all your organs away.

But still, he loved this time so much.

But today was a day where you just stayed in bed, unable to move because you felt so fatigued.

Maybe you also didn’t dare to move because you felt an odd pain in your abdomen.

You softly shook your belly, noticing that your baby didn’t move at all, even though this was the time where he was the most active.

Jumin and Jaehee were in the room next to you, so you decided to finally tell him.

,,Jumin…?’’ you softly called him, trying to get up on your own.

Suddenly a sharp pain hit you, making you bow over, holding your belly.

,,Ugh, J-JUMIN!’’ you now screamed.

You could hear something fall when he rushed into the room, the sight of you making his heart stop.

,,My love?! What’s wrong, Mc?!’’ he asked you, placing his hand on your belly.

,,It… it hurts!’’ you groaned and began to sob.

Jumin looked down, seeing that the bedsheets were tainted red.

However, he had the feeling that you still didn’t notice which was good, as to not scare you even more.

,,Call the doctor, Assistant Kang!’’ he hissed, seeing that she stood next to the bed.

The doctor came a few seconds afterwards. Jumin made sure that there was always someone in the penthouse for cases like this.

,,It was a miscarriage scare. We could save the baby and your wife is well too. However, we need to put her on bed rest,’’ he whispered, making Jumin look at your bed.

,,Thank you. I will take care of her,’’ he whispered and laid next to you. Before you were put back in bed, he asked someone to change the bedsheets. He was more than happy that everything seemed to have gone well.

Zen

,,I hope we can see the gender today,’’ Zen said as he walked hand in hand with you towards the doctor where the both of you had your appointment.

You were already 24 weeks pregnant, but whenever the doctor wanted to tell you the gender of your baby, it was never visible.

,,Maybe my baby is just shy?’’ you chuckled as you rubbed your belly.

,,It’s mine too!’’ Zen whined and held your hand tighter, looking at every step, scared that you could trip.

You laughed as you heard his words. He was already so overprotective.

Both of you entered the room and told the lady at the reception that you had an appointment.

You and Zen had to wait for a few minutes until a nurse approached you and asked you guys to follow her.

You changed your clothes into a hospital gown so the doctor could see better and then sat on the chair.

,,Hello, Mrs. Ryu, how are we feeling today?’’ she asked you, greeting Zen too.

,,I’m nervous. I hope we can see the gender today,’’ you said and pulled the end of your gown.

The doctor nodded as she warned you. ,,It will be a bit cold, don’t startle,’’ she said with a soft voice.

You nodded as the cold gel met your belly.

She rubbed it with the gadget around your belly and stopped at some point, looking closely at the screen.

,,Do you want to know the gender?’’ she asked you.

Both you and Zen nodded, excited to hear what it would be.

,,Your baby girl is here, see?’’ she asked you, showing you the picture.

As soon as she said baby girl, you began to sob as you held Zen’s hand closer to your chest.

,,It’s a girl!’’ you sobbed.

Zen nodded. ,,Oh my God! I won’t let her have a boyfriend until I die! She will make everyone go crazy with her beauty!’’ he whined and kissed your head.

,,Thank you,’’ he kept sobbing while you laughed.

,,We will spend more money on pads,’’ you laughed.

,,And chocolate,’’ he laughed too, rubbing your arm.

,,I will print a picture. Everything looks good,’’ the doctor said with a bright smile.

As soon as you agreed on an appointment, you both left to post a picture on his Instagram.

Zen put on the caption, ,,Wife went from being a Princess to a Queen as we are accepting a new princess.’’

Immediately after the picture was posted, Jaehee called you to congratulate you. She was also sobbing into the phone.

The day ended with you and Zen buying a lot of cute, pink, glitter toys and decorations.

,,I can’t wait to style her hair… and to see how her first love will turn out!’’ you giggled.

,,No first love!’’ he whined and observed you as you tried to decide between a few more baby clothes.

Yoosung

Excited to learn your baby's gender, you and Yoosung entered the room after a nurse called you, his hand in yours as you laid down on the bed, pulling up your shirt as you knew what the doctor would soon do with you.

A young woman entered the room a few seconds later, making the nurse bow and leave.

,,Hello, my name is Dr. Lee and I will tend to you today. I will first take an ultrasound and check your baby’s heartbeat and then I will tell you the gender. Is there a person you would like me to tell you the gender?’’ she asked you, since nowadays, it was normal that couples planned gender reveal parties.

But you and Yoosung decided to enjoy the news of the gender on your own, so there was no need to tell anybody.

,,Are you perhaps new, sorry for asking,’’ you smiled.

The doctor nodded. ,,Freshly graduated, I am still unsure with the old things they use here. In the other hospital, we were totally modern,’’ she laughed as she watched the screen.

You pressed your lips together. There wasn’t much she could do wrong, right?

Well, at least you thought.

She soon began her checkup while Yoosung was still holding your hand as he too got nervous.

The doctor soon also began to look worried, rolling the stick she had in her hand from one side of your belly to the other side without saying a word.

,,Is there something wrong?’’ you asked her. Honestly, you didn’t want to know the answer. Deep in your heart, you just didn’t want to know what she had to say.

But your fear ended up coming to life. ,,I… can’t find the heartbeat,’’ she whispered.

You immediately began to cry. Hot tears began to flow out of your eyes as you began to uncontrollably sob. ,,But, I am sure it’s because I’m not used to the technology here. Let me call your doctor. Please don’t worry!’’ she whined, feeling guilty for your emotional outbreak.

However, you didn’t stop.

By now Yoosung too began to cry as he held your hand, his other hand on your belly, sticky with the gel as he begged and prayed in his head for his baby's well being.

Your doctor quickly hurried inside. ,,Mrs Kim,’’ she gasped as she saw you in tears.

,,Please don’t worry. I will check,’’ she said to try to calm you down as she pushed some buttons and placed the stick on your belly again.

,,Here,’’ she whispered. Soon, the room was shortly filled with familiar sounds.

You stopped crying as someone reassured you that nothing was wrong. Your tears stopped flowing.

,,Your baby girl is alright,’’ your doctor whispered, making you blink a few times.

,,Baby girl?’’ Yoosung asked again to make sure.

,,I’m sorry if my young doctor worried you. She didn’t press the button for the sound. Please forgive her, I will teach her better, I’m sure this is a mistake she will never ever do again. I’m sorry you guys had to be the people she had her first experience with,’’ your doctor said.

,,It’s okay,’’ you said. A hiccup still left your mouth as your voice was cracking.

,,We all were young and trainees. It can happen,’’ you nodded.

It was a shock, but you felt much better and Yoosung was with you, now that he knew that you were expecting a girl...

Jaehee

You were in your 30th week.

Currently you were laying on the couch, a paper plate on your belly as you licked every single finger of your right hand after eating a few chips you were craving for.

The plate was still on your big belly as it suddenly twitched, causing the chips to lose balance and fall on the floor.

You groaned as you noticed that you just made a mess in your living room.

And of course Jaehee noticed the fall, coming immediately into the room to check on you.

,,What happened?’’ she asked you with her big, almost scared eyes.

,,Nothing,’’ you laughed and waved with your hand, calling her to your side.

She approached you, a bit scared as she finally sat down next to you, ignoring the chips on the floor for now.

You took her hand and put it on your belly. She loved to feel the movements of your boy, but this time there was no little hand or foot.

Instead, your big round belly began to twitch.

Jaehee quickly withdrew her hand and held the hand which was laying on your belly with the other one.

,,What was that?’’ she asked you and placed her hand on the spot again, feeling the twitch again.

,,Our boy hiccuped,’’ you chuckled and placed your hand next to hers on your belly, feeling the movements in your belly.

Jaehee’s eyes were showing pure love as her eyes rested on your belly. Your son was growing inside of you and this hiccup she felt as a twitch, was already a sign of a living creature.

,,I can’t wait to meet him,’’ she whispered.

,,Me neither… And I can’t wait to have my body back,’’ you laughed and tried to get up. Of course Jaehee quickly took her hand away from your belly and tried to help you up, her hand on your back as she lightly pushed you up.

,,Thank you,’’ you smiled and stepped on a chip, making a cracking sound.

,,I will clean it up,’’ Jaehee told you with a smile.

,,Oh, thank you, cause I think I’m on the verge of peeing myself!’’ you responded and quickly approached the toilet.

Jaehee looked at your back. Her smile never disappeared as she cleaned up the mess your son made.

Saeyoung

You were entering your 36th week when something you were already prepared for happened - labor.

You were cooking when you had the feeling that you were kind of kicked.

You stopped everything and placed your hand on your belly, feeling the pain again, this time sharper and more painful. You gasped for air and slowly tried to exhale the pain.

,,S-Saeyoung?’’ you called him, your voice filled with pain and fear. You weren’t sure what was happening but you just needed Saeyoung, your support.

,,Mh? Wanna make me taste the vegetables?’’ he asked you, busy chatting with someone in the chatroom without looking up.

,,Mh-mh,’’ you said, shaking your head.

Saeyoung looked up. He didn’t understand what you were telling him. ,,I-I’m in pain, Saeyoung,’’ you groaned.

The pain came back, even worse than before, making you fall into your knees. Luckily, Saeyoung caught you, supporting you below your arms as he called loudly for Saeran, who loudly approached you guys, gasping for air.

It was a moment of fear and adrenaline as the two boys somehow dragged you to your room, your painful cries in their ears as you finally laid back,

Saeyoung couldn’t think straight and Saeran decided to prepare everything, calling a doctor and turning off the stove to not burn the food and set the house on fire.

The doctor quickly arrived. He wasn’t surprised by the symptomes you were having.

,,Twins usually come earlier which is totally normal, but we will try to hold off the labor.

She has to be on bed rest. She isn’t allowed to get up, move around, or do anything else. She’s doing okay now, but make sure to go to the hospital as soon as she feels pain again,’’ he said.

Saeyoung nodded as he stared at the closed door of your room.

,,Okay, at least we can make them stay inside a bit longer,’’ you whispered as you stroked your belly.

Saeyoung stayed silent as he observed you. It was time for him to pack your bag just in case you had to go to the hospital.

But before that, his first step was to feed you since your tummy was growling.

,,I’m sorry, I have to eat for three!’’ you called back as he walked off, laughing.

,,Yes yes!’’ he kept on laughing, turning on the stove again.

Saeran

After you felt sick, you were much better which was something Saeran enjoyed a lot.

He loved to feel every movement of his twins and to see your belly twitch as someone had to hiccup. He loved to see the little bump on your big belly as one of the twins moved.

Today, you and Saeran had an appointment with your doctor. By now it was checked daily since you were 38 weeks pregnant and twins were known to come early, but Saeran was happy that you already passed the 36th week.

He was helping you to put on your dress and helping you put on your shoes as he grabbed your purse and held out his hand to walk with you to the place you were awaited.

,,I can’t wait to hear their heartbeat again,’’ Saeran said, smiling.

The last time, he asked to save the sound on his phone, but it was always different to hear the sound of his twins in person rather than on his phone.

You chuckled and patted his hand as he walked slower.

,,Didn’t you just hear it yesterday?’’ you asked him and already knew that he would be the most loving father.

,,You know,’’ he began, ,,I can never get enough of it,’’ he confessed, making you emotional.

You wondered how it would be as soon as the babies would be in your arms instead of growing in your belly.

You were happy to have your own body back and that you were soon able to do more things on your own, but you also knew that you would probably miss the movements, the feeling, patting, and stroking your belly, knowing that there was someone you were keeping safe in there.

But on the other hand, you could finally meet those two wonderful human beings you already loved even though you still didn’t know them.

,,I can’t wait to meet them,’’ Saeran said, almost reading your thoughts and opening the door for you.

,,I now know for sure that we are soulmates! You just said what I was thinking!’’ you laughed as you confessed at the same time, opening the next door, already inhaling the smell of the disinfectants.

,,You just noticed now?’’ he asked you, joking and looking at the wall filled with pictures of new born babies, imagining how cute his own would look as soon as they were born.

Jihyun

If there was something Lucy was the best at, it was coaxing the whole RFA into things like asking Zen to give her and Jaehee, as well as yourself, some DVDs of his, Yoosung to take her to a convention, Saeyoung to hack into a toy store and send her toys.

The one she had the most around her finger was her godfather, Jumin Han.

After two weeks of coaxing, begging, and whining he finally did what she asked for - building an indoor swimming pool.

Well, now that he built it, you guys had to visit him and use it, forcing you to go along.

And of course you also had to go into the pool because the little girl wanted to splash into the water with her mom.

But you just didn’t feel like it. To be honest, you wanted to hide the stretch marks on your body that were all around your belly.

The amount of rather red marks increased and that was making you feel… ugly.

You wanted to have your body back and you wanted this to stop.

Not even the baby oil you were using could help you.

To hide your feelings, you decided to never show them to Jihyun, scared that he would find you disgusting.

Today too, you tried to hide the hate, sadness, and bad feelings you felt towards those stretch marks.

But you were too late to put on a bathing suit and Jihyun saw how you sniffled in front of the mirror.

,,Mc?“ he called you, making you wake up from your trance and look at him, feeling caught.

,,Wow, now you will leave us!“ you groaned, waving with your hands nervously and angrily.

,,Why should I?“ he asked you, sitting down on the edge of the bed and pulling you between his legs.

You were already tearing up as you mumbled, ,,Ugly!“

,,What?“ he asked you again, coming closer to you.

,,I’m ugly!“ you repeated. ,,Look at my stretch marks!“ You pointed at your body.

Jihyun smiled, feeling bad as he rubbed your swollen belly.

,,Why do you think you’re ugly? You’re the most wonderful woman I’ve ever seen!“

,,These,“ you sobbed.

Jihyun knew that you felt unsure about your stretch marks for a while and now you broke down.

,,They are a symbol of the pregnancy we fought so hard for and so long for. Every one of these stands for one negative pregnancy test and hope. I know that you don’t like them, but to me, they mean a lot and besides, this isn‘t and never will be a reason for me to leave you!“ he told you honestly.

,,I would never leave you guys,“ he swore and kissed your belly.

,,Really?“ you asked him again.

,,Really,“ he said honestly and took your hand, kissing your belly again.

Suddenly the door flew open. ,,Mommy!“ Lucy called you, seeing you in your underwear.

,,Can we go now please?“ she asked you.

,,Will you go like that? No bikini?“ she asked you, puzzled.

You and Jihyun both laughed as you let go of your husband and went to get your swim suit.

,,I’ll be ready in a bit, baby,“ you told her and slowly got into it while Jihyun helped you so that you didn’t lose balance.

Vanderwood

After the shock of the other day, Vanderwood didn’t let you get up for the whole week, being busy with cleaning the house, packing some things for the move, and also taking care of you.

But finally, after you rested enough, to be more precise, after you told him how bad you felt and that you were better now and wanted to go out again, he decided that it was time to finally buy more things for the baby you were going to be welcoming soon.

Now that you knew you were going to have a girl, you kind of saw the toys in a different light.

You imagined how funny it would be to play with her, style her hair, dress her in cute clothes or make her look really cool, just like the posts you saw on Pinterest.

While you were daydreaming about the future, someone else was checking the baby clothes and bottles, making sure to take high quality products only.

,,Awwee, look, Vanderwood!’’ you giggled and showed him a little princess dress.

,,She will be too little for this, you know?’’ he asked you, making you laugh.

,,I know!’’ you smiled, but still decided to buy it.

,,No, honestly, I don’t think we need to buy Barbies and cars. She won’t use them so young,’’ Vanderwood said, looking at all the toys you wanted to buy.

,,Maybe I want to play with the cars. As a child I hated playing with dolls. I would rather play with cars!’’ you laughed and put the toys back, instead going for some other toys for a newborn, such as a teddy bear.

,,These shoes are so tiny,’’ you smiled and took the baby shoes in your hand, placing the pair on your belly and tapping on it with them as if someone was walking over your belly.

Vanderwood observed you. He almost enjoyed that moment.

You were in your own little world and he loved to see how in love you were with the thought of becoming a mother.

The both of you decided to buy some more things before returning home.

Vanderwood noticed that you already felt a bit sleepy and that you were walking a bit odd because your feet were throbbing in pain.

Once at home, you sat back on your couch and leaned your head against the pillow, closing your eyes for a short moment while Vanderwood placed the bags filled with the baby stuff in the hall, checking on you first.

,,Just a few seconds,’’ you said, making him smile and walk towards you.

,,If you are exhausted, feel free to sleep a bit,’’ he approved, patting your head.

,,I had fun today, thank you,’’ you said out of the blue, making Vanderwood feel… loved.

,,This wasn’t the last time, I promise, and I had fun too…’’ he whispered and decided that today he also could enjoy your warmth and lay down next to you...

Part 5 of my pregnancy series

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

🤰🏻ᴘʀᴇɢɴᴀɴᴄʏ sᴇʀɪᴇs🤰🏻Masterlist here

19.05.2021// 21:44 MEST

164 notes · View notes

dammitadolfnomorecake · 3 years

Text

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 144

144

Curled around him, Lance basked in Keith’s warmth. His boyfriend his protector against their friends. Pidge, Hunk, Shiro and Curtis all waiting at VOLTRON for their return. There were lots of hugs, lots of apologising on his behalf. A lot of anxiety over Kosmo jumping up at his belly, his fun son had grown more than Lance realised. From a tiny pup awkward pup, he now stood just below hip height, but was still his precious baby. Keith a little too firm as Kosmo tried to stand up, paws on Lance’s belly, nearly making Lance vomiting, as he had done for the last half hour of the flight.

Then came the trek to the medical wing, too many people wanting to know if he was okay and if the twins were, and Pidge couldn’t stop staring at his belly, making him super uncomfortable. Coran had shooed them off, Lance suspecting he just wanted to have the first look at the ultrasound ahead of the others. Lance so not in the mood for it, making Coran agree to wait until the following day. He was still poked and prodded. Set up with two IV lines that he felt he didn’t need. Temperature and heart-rate taken. Forced into a clean set of clothes so he’d be “more comfortable”. He’d had a panic attack when they landed. He couldn’t find his mami��s bag, Rieva had already taken it down out of the luggage department.

He was wiped out, but then the others came back in. Pidge and Hunk tried to squeeze onto the bed, barely built for one, let alone four adults, and Kosmo who’d taken up prime position on his legs. Shiro and Curtis had come back thanks to the news of his Mami passing. Their condolences hurt to hear, on top of Pidge and Hunk both offering theirs again. Battling anxiety, Lance mostly let the others talk around him. A few times he’d nearly snapped when Pidge got too loud and Hunk cuddled just that fraction too close to Keith. His ego was being a dick, Lance no longer sure if his ego was making him worse, or him being worse was making his ego be a dick.

Things were much easier when the focus was shifted from him to Curtis’s horns. They were cute. Not great big monstrous things like a ram, but two black little nubs that went well with the black ring around his irises. Admittedly, Lance was expecting horns big enough for Shiro to hold onto them, and while he could, it’d barely be a palm full... Not that he wanted to think about Shiro riding Curtis, Pidge put the idea in his head and Lance was left to deal with it. He was happy about Curtis being safe and back, but his ego wasn’t thrilled. It very much felt slapped in the face, wanting to yell at them all to pay attention to Lance’s belly because twins were way cooler than horns.

Filling Lance in, he hadn’t seemed to miss much. They’d had lunch at Pidge’s parents, then dinner at Hunk’s house. Shay had come to dinner, and they’d done Christmas without him. Pidge excited at the prospect of a second Christmas when Keith “suggested” it. Hunk making huge plans to make it a “Welcome Home Party”. Lance using his current stay to plead out they wait until weekend, which would give him the Thursday and Friday to mentally prepare for peopling again, then using his fatigue to politely evict their friends group. Trying to evict Keith to go talk to his brother was like trying to pull two sheets of wet glass apart. It wasn’t happening. The vampire could smell Krolia on them, suspecting she was back, and waiting until they group thinned before coming to offer her condolences. Lance had enough of condolences. Enough of the heartfelt words. Each time he was sent back to Mami not waking. To trying to call Keith only to break his phone, and the pain of losing the one person who’d protected him for so long. It was easier with a heartfelt hug and and a mutual understanding it was hard.

Keith was asleep. He’d fallen asleep while Lance was left unable to shut his mind off. Nausea, coupled with stress and a throbbing headache left Lance awake more than his circling thoughts. Flying didn’t agree with him, even with his shoes sprinkled inside with his death soil. It helped abate the symptoms from flying, it just didn’t help when it came to an overactive mind and being squished by Keith who had his hand pressing against Lance’s belly, as if trying to protect him as he slept. Keith was too cute, and obviously relieved to see Shiro and Curtis had made it home safely.

Putting up with being squished as long as he could, Lance carefully set Keith’s hand on his hip, so he could slip free. Coran would no doubt be around shortly to check on him. He missed the way they used to be so close. Now it felt like Coran cared more for the twins than for him. If Coran had cared he’d have let them go back to Keith’s apartment, and cancelled the surprise of their friends waiting for them. He knew it was because Coran cared and worried for him that he hadn’t. Hugging Pidge, she seemed smaller than ever. Hunk just as solid and warm as a he remembered. He loved them too much. The loss of Mami driving home again how short and fragile human lives where when compared to his. Lance had made up his mind. He’d live as long Keith lived. A full life with his boyfriend and their children, until it was time for Keith to pass and they’d pass together. Never feeling the loss of that half of their souls. It was funny how he’d mocked the idea of soulmates mentally, and now it seemed the only term close to describing the degree of love he felt for Keith. He wanted to spend every day of their lives together, making new and happy memories, in a household filled with love.

Feeling the space beside him empty, Keith shot awake in panic. He’d been wiped out from the visit of their friends. They were so damn loud. Not that he wasn’t happy they’d been there to rip the anxiety bandage off Lance’s wounds, he simply wished they’d been there and quieter about it

“Babe?”

With the light on in the bathroom, and Kosmo also missing, Keith was drawn to it like a moth. Pushing the door open with his foot, Lance was sitting on toilet with his face in his hands. Kosmo laying near his feet. Keith had noticed each time Mami was mentioned that Lance would shy away. That wound too deep for a reunion to be a magic fix it all

“Babe?”

Looking up at him, Lance wiped his eyes

“Sorry. I couldn’t sleep”

The idiot had been crying alone...

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Headache and I feel sick...”

Walking over to his boyfriend, Keith felt for a fever as Lance bunted into the touch

“You feel warmerish... and I can smell you”

Lance blushed, hands going to cover his lap...

“Babe?”

“Don’t judge me”

Keith didn’t know what he was supposed to not be judging Lance over seeing he wasn’t judging him in the first place

“I’m not. I got a bit worried when you didn’t come back to bed”

“You were squashing the pee out of me... and then I just... felt so blah that I thought if I could... you know... I might be able to calm down... but I couldn’t...”

Oh. Lance was looking for a little stress relief after their long arse day

“You could have woken me up”

“And what would I have said? I can’t sleep, so suck me off?”

“Pretty much”

Keith’s knees cracked as squatted down, Lance blushing softly as he wouldn’t meet his eyes

“I’m not mad, and I’m not judging you”

“I feel stupid... I’m horny as hell and I shouldn’t be, but I don’t know... it just happens. I’m so fucking tired...”

He looked it too. And was tired enough to be honest that he wasn’t feeling that great

“Do you want me to get you off?”

Lance sighed deeply, angry as replied

“There’s no point... I tried but... I feel too sick... and I’m so frustrated...”

“Let me help”

“I told you...”

Lance needed release, his scent was begging Keith to touch him

“Not to brag about my sexual prowess, but I’m pretty sure I can give you exactly what you need”

“But what about you?”

“Babe, if you haven’t noticed, I love you. I love touching you. Just let me take care of things”

Lance nodded, moving his hands away to expose the damp spot on his sweats. Rather than wolfing down the meal, Keith wanted Lance to feel comfortable first. Kissing his boyfriend, Lance hesitated, slowly letting Keith take the lead. That he was kissing him back made Keith’s heart flip. Whining at him, Kosmo protested what his father’s were about to do, leading him to an overdue eviction.

Soaking wet, Lance’s wetness dribbled down his thighs, Keith lapping between Lance’s legs moaning at the taste of his lover. Bent over the bathroom sink, Lance’s legs were already shaking, arse jiggling as he rocked against Keith’s tongue. His boyfriend definitely pent, and already stretched so perfectly that Keith could have slipped right in. Wanting Lance to enjoy this, he also was aware that Lance was on edge. That he was exhausted and needed sleep, cutting Keith’s fun short as he rose to his feet, meeting eyes with Lance in the bathroom mirror

“You ready?”

“Mhmm... I tried... but... my fingers couldn’t reach...”

Shit. He’d have liked to see that. He loved watching Lance prep himself almost as much as he loved prepping him. Dizzy on Lance’s scent, his boyfriend smelt as if he was in heat, which shouldn’t be possible with Lance already being pregnant.

Sliding his hands up Lance’s sides, his boyfriend shuddered, wetness dribbling down Keith’s erection as he rutted up against him, missing pushing in on his first try

“You’re so fucking wet...”

Lance blushed

“Shut up”

“I didn’t say it’s a bad thing. Stick your arse back for me”

Spreading his legs, Lance stuck his ease back, Keith letting go of his side to guide himself into Lance’s heat, both men groaning in unison, as Keith slowly sank balls deep. Bring up his hand, he gripped Lance by the hip with his left hand, right hand moving to grope the vampire’s small left breast. Whimpering his name, it sounded pornographic

“Keith...”

“It’s okay, babe... let it out”

Rolling his hips, wetness smeared across Keith’s crotch. Drawing back then thrusting in caused a wet slapping of skin

“Keith... just... fuck... me properly”

Hard and fast, he could do that. Wrapping himself around his boyfriend, Keith fucked Lance as hard as he wanted. His boyfriend panting and they’d barely started. Not quite getting as deep as he wanted, Keith lifted Lance’s right leg, Lance incoherent, as their bodies rocked. God knew how good Lance felt around him. The way he tightened at having his leg lifted made it hard to move, as if his boyfriend was trying to squeeze his orgasm out of him as he drew him deeper

“I’m... Keith... don’t stop... I’m going to come...”

The slapping grew louder, Keith barely coherent. High as hell on Lance’s pheromones

“Shit, babe... come for me... you feel so fucking good... shit... shit... fuck, babe...”

“Mmm... Keith... Keith... nggm... ah... ahh...”

Lance tensed as he came, clamping hard around Keith, Keith coming just as hard inside his boyfriend, buried to the hilt and panting like he’d run a marathon. Shit... he hadn’t lasted long... Lance still smelt so damn good. Nosing at the crease between his boyfriend’s shoulder blades, Keith rode out his orgasm, hips stuttering yet still moving, caught up in Lance’s scent

“Fuck...”

He wanted more. So much more. He’d been pent up as he’d watched Lance from the swimming pool. All the little expressions Lance made while watching him. The way he’d duck his head or look away. He didn’t want his boyfriend looking at anyone other than him

“Keith?”

Sliding free, cum and wet dripped onto the floor, Keith rutting between his legs, causing his pregnant boyfriend to whine at him

“I’m sorry... you smell so good...”

“I wanna... kiss... I feel so... hot...”

So Lance was feeling this too? He wasn’t imagining it? The logical thing would to be ask Coran why Lance seemed in heat, but his head brain was on vacation leaving all the flowing blood to his dick

“Let’s go to bed... I want to do you again...”

Lance slowly nodded, Keith liked to think his was a smooth as boyfriend as he lowered his leg then swept him off his feet.

Laying Lance down on the hospital bed, Keith climbed up to cage him. His boyfriend wrapping his arm around him, as he claimed his mouth. Sinking his fangs lightly into Keith’s lip, Keith hissed, his lips had gotten used to not being bitten and he was reminded of how long it’d really taken to gotten used to Lance’s fangs. Not that he told his lover. He didn’t want him being sorry when he should be feeling good. Breaking the kiss, Lance licked the blood from his lips

“I feel... so hot...”

“You feel like you’re in heat”

“I can’t be... I’m having your babies...”

Shimmying back and down, Keith went for Lance’s chest. Tonguing at the small bud of Lance’s right nipple, Lance’s hands held his head to his chest, fingers threaded through Keith’s hair, hips rolling as Keith mouthed at the small mound

“Ahhh... careful... still... sensitive”

“I know...”

Lance seemed sensitive enough to come from having his nipples stimulated alone. Keith moving to mouth at his left nipple, Lance’s legs tightening as he knees pressed into his side’s

“Keith... Keith... don’t... not like... that...”

Nipping on Lance’s nipple, Lance whined, pulling his hair to pull him off

“Not there... it’s too much...”

“Mmm... but they’re cute”

Lance’s nipples seemed bigger, the colour had darkened, the bud feeling bigger between his teeth than they’d had before. Not pulled away far enough, he swiped his tongue up, Lance groaning loudly

“Keeeeeith... stop teasing, I don’t have the patience”

“You don’t have the patience to let me love your body”

“Fuck loving my body... I need you in me... feels empty... aren’t... I... good enough”

Keith rose back up, words falling between the kisses he pressed to Lance’s lips

“You are more than good enough...”

“Then... just... I want to...”

“I know, baby. I know... you’re body is so amazing... so open for me... think you can take me again”

Lance sat up as he wrapped his arms around Keith’s neck, nodding as he did, Keith moving his hands down to take Lance by the hips

“I want it...”

Nosing at Lance’s nose, Keith’s hands slid to try lift Lance by the arse

“Wrap your legs around me, babe. I’ve got you... gonna fuck you on my dick, just how you like...”

Lance was too cute. Riding his dick, Lance panted, legs spread and tummy on display. Tiny titties red from all the attention lavished on budding breasts. Sucking on his lover’s left breast, Lance stopped making sense somewhere around the time he nipped at his nipple. When his boyfriend finally grew tired from riding him, Keith laid him back down, spreading his legs wide, so he supported Lance by his calves and riding him hard. Lance’s pheromones increased his stamina, he already knew that from barely being able to keep up with Lance’s heat. Over and over again he drove into his boyfriend, Lance coming across his bouncing belly as Keith kept thrusting, wetness now soaked enough into the bedding his knees were damp. Coming for the second time, Keith finally felt a little calmer. Calm enough to pull out and slump across Lance, mindful of his lover’s precious belly, as he caught his breath. Lance bringing a hand up to rest on his head, long caramel legs wrapped loosely around him. Kissing Lance’s cooling skin, his boyfriend still smelt sweet.

“Babe?”

“Mmm...”

“You okay?”

“Mhmm...”

“Okay”

That was good. Good that Lance was okay. The room smelt of them and their sex, Keith quietly content for now... or at least the next five minutes.

#once bitten twice stupid #oncebittentwicestupid #ashratherose

7 notes · View notes

be-ready-when-i-say-go · 4 years

Text

Best Friend Pact- Part 2: To Lovers

Calum attempts to drink the sadness away one night at a party, but his friend, Neveah, doesn’t let him completely. And in their stalled journey off sobriety, they make a secret pact. Black!OC

CW: Over the course of this series there are mentions of pregnancy, birth, death, and death related trauma. Please proceed with caution.

Enjoy my masterlist

Support me on kofi

_____________________________________

"You're going to want to see this," Calum calls out. Neveah's leaning against the wall just outside the bathroom, terrified to step inside. If it's another negative pregnancy test, she's going to cry. She can already feel the pressure building in her chest.

"I can't," she croaks. "I can't do this."

The toilet flushes before Calum steps out of the bathroom, arms behind his back. He wouldn't be holding negative tests, would he? What an awful trick to play on her. "You're a giant asshole," she hisses, "if those aren't positive tests, you're a giant asshole."

His lips quirk down for a second. He'd never do such a thing. She dreads this every couple of months they do this. Just to make sure though her periods are indication enough. Her eyes always fall when the plastic screen comes back with the same result. She always gives the heaviest sighs and her shoulders sit heavier on her shoulders. He would never lie to her. Not at a time like this. "So am I a little asshole if they're positive?"

"Just give me the bad news."

"Bad news, you're gonna have to officially move into my bedroom. Good news, the baby already has a room established." As the words are falling from his lips, he can feel his lips lifting in joy. He watches her groan, throwing her head back into the wall, before snapping up.

"What? Are you serious?" Her voice carries down the hallway, making Duke lift his head to the sound from the living room. "I'm pregnant?" she questions in a whisper.

Calum nods, grin widening. He holds out the capped tests. Her hands tremble. Neveah remembers this feeling, knows the nerves all too well. On their second try, she noticed a faint positive line. She was excited and rushed to Calum in the backyard. His heart nearly burst out his chest, but they had to be smart and had to be triple sure. A couple of days later, they took another test. That one was negative, much more clear that time. Tears are blurring her vision.

"Please tell me it's not another false positive," she croaks, sagging into the wall. "Please, God, I can't."

Calum shakes his head. "No, no, babe, it's not. It's not I promise." Her tears fall, shoulders shaking visibly now. Calum places the test back onto the sink counter before pulling her into a hug, whispering into her hair. "Ssh, it's okay. We'll take another one just to show you. It's a real positive, I promise."

"I'm really gonna be a mom?" Calum nods, sighing a soft yes into her ear. That phrase, yes, she is going to be a mom. The mother to his child. "And you're going to be a dad."

His breath catches in his throat. He's going to be a dad. Holy fuck, it's becoming real. This is not just a plan. It's no longer just a fantasy. It's real. His eyes start to sting. The tears are coming. His throat tightens, but god he can't stop smiling. "Thank you," he breathes. "Thank you so much. You're amazing. I can never repay you for doing this for me."

"This baby is repayment enough."

The panic sets in after going to the doctors. They are really going to have a baby. Staring down at the sonogram after the eight-week mark. They make it into the lobby of the building, the OBGYN is in a bigger center of other offices before the trembles finally overtake her. "Fuck," she whispers.

Calum squeezes her hand, pulling her to some chairs. "Deep breathe. It's gonna be okay."

As she settles down, gripping tight at the wooden armrests. "It's real. Like, I'm growing a tiny human, tiny fingers."

Calum squats in front of her legs, hands gently resting on her knees. He can see the slight tremble to her upper lip too. Soothing gently strokes up and down her cotton covered thigh, the warmth of Calum's palm are the only things that keep her semi-grounded. "Hey, it's okay. We've talked about this."

"I know. I just- fuck." Her hands gravitate towards her stomach. The tiny beep and thump from the ultrasound still ringing in her ears. They had come a long way from praying on bathroom tiles that they test would be positive. Now, they're holding onto sonograms, listening to a heartbeat. It feels way too heavy, but not really at the same time. Calum hums, rubbing still at her thigh. It's silent between them. What can he say that will ground her? Words fail him repeatedly unless he's writing them down. He stays there, deep in a squat, knees and thighs screaming at him to stand, and rubs her thigh.

"If it's a boy can we paint the room red?" Neveah asks after a couple of minutes silence. This is her baby, his baby–their baby. It's okay to be scared, she figures. If she weren't scared, that would be worse. "Nerves are good, right?"

Calum nods. "Nerves are okay. Thoughts on yellow if it's a girl?"

A smile lifts her cheeks. "I like the sound of that."

"Besides, you've waned yourself off coffee which is a miracle in and of itself. You haven't had deli meat in months. You never ate raw fish or meat, so that won't be hard. The cheese thing might be hard."

"I just love cheese. It's not a crime."

Calum chuckles, brushing his fingers over her cheek. "Never said it was. Things are going to be okay. They're going to be better than okay. I believe in you. In us."

Us. He's yet to use that term. What are they? Friends? Co-parents? Crazy? He's not sure. And either is she. There's more to worry about though, bigger issues to jump over. What they are, if anything, always slips to the back of her mind. Until now. Until us.

It's not just her having a baby. It's not just her having Calum's baby. Things are different now. He pulls her in closer now. She finally managed to leave her apartment, the lease ending two months ago and officially moved in with him. She had been staying at his place so much, her apartment was beginning to just feel like a storage unit. Both of them agreed that it would be easier if she just moved in now.

"Us," she whispers, testing the word on her tongue, tasting it as she hisses on the 's'. It's not off-putting. She tries it out one last time, "Us. That's reassuring."

Calum stands, swallowing the groan building in his chest. He's not built for that much squatting. "Let's go get something to eat. We have to figure out who's parents to tell first."

"Yours are halfway across the world, unfortunately."

He nods, threading his fingers through hers. He's started doing this more often. Calum's not too concerned about his parents being far. Ideally, he would've had kids back in Sydney, away from the stiff and plastic Valley. But when crazy opportunities present themselves, you take them. He's worried thought about her mother. She hasn't told him about the doctor's appointment again, but he hears her in the backyard sometimes a sob breaking past her lips. "We'll tell your family first," he offers. "It'll be good news, yeah?"

He keeps his gaze straight ahead, double checking that no cars are coming as they cross to the other side of the parking lot to his car. She watches him, the way he blinks rapidly. He does this when he's covering something up. "You know she's sick again."

"I didn't want to bring it up until you were ready." They stop outside the passenger door. Calum reaching to open the door, but she stops him. "I was going to take Duke out and I heard you on the phone, crying. I didn't–I didn't know what to do. I thought if I went out to comfort you, you'd think I was eavesdropping. Which I wasn't. But now it sounds stupid that I didn't. I'm sorry."

"There's no reason to be sorry, Calum. You care. I get it."

"I should've done something though."

"We don't keep crying over spilled milk. The first cry is okay. You've apologized. You don't have to keep apologizing. We can tell my parents first. They need some good news." She turns to open the door and Calum holds onto her hip gently. She turns back around.

"I'm not crying over spilled milk. But I need you to know I do care. I'm terrible at expressing that at times. But I need you to know that."

"I know, Cal. Twelve years plus years I've known you, I haven't forgotten."

The apology presses against his teeth. He wants to say I'm sorry again. He needs to say it again, but the way she looks at him, resigned but somehow understanding makes him swallow it back down. She knows her fate, rocky and hard, but that's a sad beauty in life: everyone dies. Calum opens the door for her, closing the door once she's properly inside. He climbs into the driver seat, starting the car before turning to her. "Where do you want to go?"

She furrows her brows, facing him. "What do you mean? I thought you had a meeting and I have to get back to finish that proposal."

"But before the responsibilities, do you want to go somewhere?"

"You don't have to do all that as some sort of apology. I'd just like to grab something to eat, and relax at home."

"What about the dinner on 27th?"

It's her favorite little breakfast spot. She already took the day and because of Calum's meeting, they took the first appointment of the day. Double breakfast never hurt anyone. She looks to see Calum, brown eyes a little glassy. Not from tears, not from a drink, but from sadness and guilt. "I'd like that," she smiles. "Double french toast is calling my name."

"Double french toast coming right up."

Their drive is quiet, even the radio turned down low. While at a red light, Neveah reaches over, taking Calum's hand and presses a quick kiss to the back of it and up to his knuckles. He exhales at the action, glancing between her and the light. She whispers something against his skin. He hears the faint wisping of her breath and feels her lips moving against his skin. He can't make out what she says. Is it a prayer? He thinks he catches an amen at the end, but he dares not ask. Instead, he presses down on the gas, letting her pray into his skin. He hopes they're answered.

They get seated immediately and while Calum's looking over the menu, though it's not necessary, she finally speaks. "They aren't sure if she's gonna pull this last bout. She told me she wanted to make it until the baby was born."

A lump rises in Calum's throat. The question lingers on his tongue but he can't bring himself to ask. How long? "When did you first get this news?"

"Couple months back."

All the air expels out of his lungs and passes over his lips. He only overheard last week. Weeks she's been carrying this by herself. "You know I'm always here for you."

She nods, blinking rapidly. She's not necessarily a crier, but Calum watches the way her lower lip wobbles, the way she exhales. He stands and slides into the booth next to her, sliding an arm around her shoulder and pulling her into his chest. "As much as I know I'll miss her, I don't want her to suffer anymore," she cries into his chest. "But I want her to be able to see the baby. I feel awful, do I wish for her suffering or do I pray for her relief?"

Calum can't answer that. He can't even begin to understand what it would be like to know your parent is dying much sooner than anticipated. He can't say it's okay. Because it's not. It's not okay that she has to watch her mother die. It's not okay that she can't do anything about it. It's not okay. "It's gotta be tough," he soothes, hand never ceasing as he brushes it up and down. "Things will work out. It's okay to be sad."

It's so much more than okay to be sad. She has every right to be. But hearing Calum say that validates her, makes her feel human for her confliction. The waitress comes by wordlessly with two glasses of water and a stack of french toast. Calum nods over to her. "Thank you," he says quietly.

"I know her usual. What can I get you?"

His appetite left him without him even realizing. "I'm good. Thank you though." Calum does his best to soothe her, and to get her to at least have a sip or two of her water. The tears keep falling into his shirt and after a minute or two, he just lets her cry it out. Her shoulder shake against his body. Calum hums. He's had this riff in his head for a long time but hasn't actually played it on the bass yet. His chest rumbles in her ear and against her palms clenched tightly around his shirt. Her shaking stop as she listens to the husky rumble.

Calum doesn't cease his humming, afraid now. Not for her, for him. Neveah's hurting and he's just standing in the background. Slowly, she pulls away from him, sniffling just a little. Her face feels tight. She knows her eyes are puffy. Calum blinks rapidly, trying to keep the tears from rolling down his cheeks. She grabs more napkin, gently patting at his cheeks. "We're just a mess, aren't we?" she chuckles, a little surprised that Calum hasn't pulled her hand away.

"No, we're human. Very human as unfortunate as it is sometimes."

"It is an unfortunate condition at times. But if it helps, I'd rather be human with you."

Calum pushes the plate of probably cold french toast closer to her. "Same," he returns softly. "One of the few people I can actually be human with at this point."

"It's an honor," she states quietly, splitting the stack of bread. She knows when to give him his space. She knew when to pry him open. She was there for all the rants about all the people that broke his heart. They eat in silence; Calum resting his hand on her knee, thumb rubbing through the material. It is an honor to be here with her.

"You never come by here anymore," her dad teases as they enter the house. Calum gives him a hug.

"There's no excuse," Neveah returns, sliding out of her shoes.

"But in all seriousness, is everything alright?" He knows his daughter. Something is up. As the light flickers on her face, a smile curling her lips, he knows. "Upstairs, she's upstairs," he grins.

She leads the way, Calum following directly behind her up the stairs, her dad behind Calum. The stairs creak under their weight, a soft warning that people are on the way. The bedroom door is open, her mother lying in bed with the sheets wrapped around her legs.

She knocks on the open door. "Hi, Momma." Her voice is soft as she speaks. Calum hovers near the entry. He's only seen her mother healthy. He feels like he's intruding on a much too private moment.

"Sweetheart, what are you doing here?" The two women embrace, her mother, holding her close, kissing the top of her head. If Neveah jokes that Calum and his mother look like twins, then Neveah and her mother are on the same page. Both women have wide nostrils and a soft cupid's bow. The reddish hue of their undertones match to a 't' as well. Neveah has her father's eyes, but her mother's chin and jaw structure. The curls wrap around just the same too, though her mother's hair is cropped shorter than Neveah's.

As they pull apart, her mother waves Calum over. He hesitates, concerned for her health, but reaches down and hugs her. They talk for a little bit, Calum watching more than adding to the conversation. She reaches out after a minute, taking her mother's hand. "Good news, Momma."

They need not say much more before tears are welling in her mother's eyes, hands immediately resting on her stomach. "You're pregnant." The laugh and smile are confirmation enough. "Oh! Thank the high heavens," she cries. Calum is pulled into cuddle and mixture of tears. Her mother whispers to the both of them, "I'm not giving up. I'm going to meet this grandbaby."

A lump forms in Calum's throat. The amount of conviction in her tone makes his heart hurt a little. He knows she's going to fight hell and high water for this baby. He wants to give her any and every moment that he can.

Telling his parents is easier a few days later. As the resolution settles itself, his parents beam at him from the other side of the screen. "Good news I hope?" Joy asks.

"Well," Calum starts, glancing away to the sonogram sitting next to the laptop. "It's very good news." Neveah squeezes his hand, smiling. "We-she's pregnant."

The smile that overtakes his parents is palpable even through a screen. The laughter and cheers filter in through the speakers are loud and clear. His chest swells. He's going to be a dad, just like he wanted. "That's great!" Joy smiles. "I'm so happy for you two."

Their conversation ends about an hour later. They insist on coming to visit/stay a bit later in the pregnancy to help with the first few weeks after the baby is born. Neveah rests her head onto his shoulder. "Where do we even begin?"

He gently rests his head on top hers. "One day at a time."

Calum eyes his pack, fingers twirling around each other. He's been trying to quit. He knows it's not good for her or the baby because of secondhand smoke. But the unfortunate truth is that he's gotta leave. Neveah's only 22 weeks along. The promotional run won't be too long. He'll be back in two and a half months. She says she'll be fine. But he's worried.

What if she needs him? What if something happens? Who's going to be there for her, if he isn't? What if something serious happens with her mother in his time away? Her health is holding fairly steady- she's not getting worse, but there's been no improvement either. God, this is the worst time for him to leave. He should see if they can get it pushed back, or should've done all this earlier. Fuck, time really knows how to shit all over things.

"You've got your worried face on," she notes.

He shakes his head, pushing up from the couch and walking to the backyard. He just needs fresh air. That will help. Put him as far away from the pack as possible. He half expects her to follow immediately behind him. But it's silent besides the patter of Duke's paws. He settles into one of the seats and exhales, staring up into the blue sky. They both knew this was coming up, that the music couldn't be put on pause for too long. Hands press into his shoulders a minute or two later. Calum reaches up, guiding her around the seat into his lap.

"I'm worried about leaving you for so long," he whispers into the exposed skin of her short-sleeved shirt.

"I'm going to be okay. I promise. I have friends I can call. My dad said don't hesitate to call them." She pauses, the rest of her thought not daring to cross her lips.

"But you probably wouldn't because of your mother," Calum counters. He knows about a few of her coworkers. They're sweet. He knows they would help her out in her absence. He just doesn't want to be absent at all. Winding his arms around her stomach, he rests his palms flat against the bump. She can't fly, they have some international flights and the cutoff time is already passed for her. The urge to smoke rises again with his stress. He buries his face into her side, inhaling her scent. It's a mixture of the new detergent she's convinced him to use and her body wash.

"I don't want to leave you guys," Calum says softly.

"We're going to be alright. Me and baby girl Hood are tough."

Calum grins into her skin. He loves the sound of that. His baby, his daughter. "What if she were into football?"

"Wouldn't it just be karma if she liked art more?"

Calum rolls his eyes. "Yeah, and I wonder where she gets it from. I'm truly lost. Reckon it might be her dad as well."

With a laugh, Neveah swats at his knee. "Her momma, of course!" She looks down at Calum, a smile on her lips, eyebrow quirked. "Try that again, Hood and see what happens."

Calum laughs, hands still stroking the bump. He lives for these moments now. Them, away from all the noise. Just them. She shifts a little and Calum watches her as she watches out over the backyard. There's not much happening. It's just quiet, a soft breeze blowing over them. He wonders if this is love. Watching her when she's not even aware, smiling at her soft snores late at night when he can't sleep.

Is love worrying even when he knows he shouldn't? Is love knowing after a long day at work she will still cook for the both of them? Is love knowing that once her heart is set on something the only thing he can do is step aside because even he'll be damned if he gets in her way? Is love quiet like this moment? Did it creep up on people, building piece by piece? Is love built day in and day out, after watching her tape off wall molding, after watching her curl up with Duke for an afternoon nap, after watching her bring life to his little girl?

She said it was work and he didn't believe in it. He never had any reason to believe. What if love was quiet all along and didn't need to be believed in, and didn't need to be worked on because it was already doing all the work? Now wouldn't that be a sight, like her curling up a little in his lap? "Tired?" he asks, feeling something in his gut flip as her hair brushes over his neck. Not an urge anymore, not anticipation for relief due to nicotine. No, this is something warmer, something lighter.

She shakes her head. "Content."

"Content is good," he murmurs pressing his cheek to her curls and forehead.

They are silent for a few moments. Calum returns to his pondering. Is he falling for his best friend? Has he already fallen? Wouldn't that be just his life? To have snuck the very thing he had sworn out of his life right in under his nose, covered in the smell of shea butter, coconut, and hibiscus. Life would surely sneak it in in the sound of her laughter, her snorts too, and the coo of her voice when he's had a long day. Life would surely make sure to wrap up love in the warmth of her embrace, the bit of groveling in her voice, the ghosts of her breath tickling his chest. Life would absolutely do this to him.

"What if we're both wrong?" Calum asks.

"Wrong about what?"

"Wrong about love. Would you call me insane if I said I maybe believe in love again?"

"Being a parent does that, so no, I wouldn't call you insane."

It's not just the baby. That is a part of it for sure. For all the trouble it appears she goes through, the morning sickness that turned into all day nausea for the first few weeks, the swelling of her feet, the slow zap to her energy, the backaches, and her biggest foe, the constant bathroom trips, she doesn't complain too much. Too much being the operative words here, every now and then she'll pull the pregnancy card on Calum, usually with a teasing tone though he can see the seriousness in her eyes. More than all that, she's always been one of few people that he felt so open with immediately. It's not easy for him to be vulnerable, but with her, it's too goddamn easy.

"Have you ever wondered how you were so blind sometimes?" he whispers, suddenly terrified of the words about to leave his chest.

"The universe works silently sometimes. We don't always see it coming," she responds.

Calum exhales hard, pressing every ounce of oxygen out of lungs before inhaling deeply again. He's going to admit it. She might push away from him. She might cause a scene. But he can't keep the secret pressed in his gut anymore. "Yeah, like you don't always see how you're falling for your best friend."

She doesn't buck. She doesn't run. She keeps her head tucked under his chin. "You sure it's not because of the baby?"

He can't fault the question. "I'm very sure."

"This is going to sound strange. But don't hate me."

Here it is. She's going to shut him down like he should've done to himself long ago. "I'm pretty sure it's a two-way street. But," she pushes up. "But I've gotta know for sure. Not pretty sure, not with ninety percent conviction. I think about you at work, wonder how your day's going. But I always know you're going to come home. I know I'll be able to give you a hug when you walk through the doors. I almost always remember to grab your coffee in the morning with my tea. The other like 5 percent of the time I forget is because of pregnancy brain. We are comfortable. What happens when you go?"

"You sayin' you never missed me before?"

"No, I did. I missed my friend of course. But this is different. What will missing you this time around feels like?"

It makes sense to him. "It's easy to love someone when they are right there. When all you have to do is kick them in their sleep." A soft grin crosses his lips.

She rolls her eyes. "It was once!"

"Twice."

"Okay, twice by some measures. I said I was sorry. In my defense I was unconscious. It's not like I have perfect control over my limbs."

Calum brings his hand up, tracing the line of her jaw, up to the side of her face and down over her cheekbone. Her eyes flutter closed at the contact before she reaches up and curls her fingers around his. Both of their knuckles pressed gently against her skin. "Tell me how you miss me when I'm gone, yeah?"

Neveah nods, opening her eyes. A brilliant and rich dark brown. "I will."

Her phone rings while she's in the bathroom, the third trip in the last couple of hours. Her mother shouts from her bedroom. "It's Calum, sweetheart. I'll answer it!"

Neveah decided to visit. She needed to get out of the house. It's much too big and empty without Calum. There's no humming, no soft singing. Even though she plays music as loud as she can withstand it, just like Calum does, it's still not the same. Nothing in the same without him. It took a couple of weeks to finally reach the point. The first week, she had the doctor's appointment, meetings almost all day. She had plenty to keep her busy.

The second week was spent recovering from the week prior. She found herself reaching for that second mug, only to remember as she reached for the mini Keurig serving that there's no one to drink the coffee. She doesn't miss him with her entire being. She doesn't miss him with acute pain. She misses him with a dull ache. She's able to push it to the side. Even able to forget about it amongst the craze of her day. At night sometimes, when Duke's warmth isn't enough, she remembers it again. That doesn't happen every night.

She doesn't even miss him with worry in her gut. She just misses him, as plainly and as simple as that. Never like she did before, where she was like, he's out, enjoying the world and messaging occasionally to make sure he's head still square on his shoulders, sending memes of him to him just to be annoying. She still does this, but it's always with hesitation, always with her fingers hovering over the keys to type so much more.

As she exits the restroom, she hears her mother laughing. "Oh, she's on her way back. I'm glad you're enjoying the pictures."

Neveah takes the phone from her mother's hand, settling back into the bed next to her. They were cuddled up watching the game. Her parents watch it in separate rooms because her dad shouts, and paces in front of the TV. It drove her mother and her insane. They started migrating to another room. It's a tradition for them to be shouting to each other about the game, just from different rooms. "Hi, Calum."

"Hey. How are you?"

"Good, a little tired."

He hums. It's her usual response. "I'm excited for the picture next week." She sends an update of her bump to him, usually on Wednesday for her when she goes to the doctors, with the size of the baby. Her doctor is always happy to take those pictures.

"How was your day?" She knows he's about six, or seven hours ahead of him.

"Long." The tone is clipped. Something has happened.

"Do you want to talk about it?" His sigh crackles through the phone. That's a no. She pushes up from the bed, walking into the hallway. She can feel her mother's eyes on the back of her head. Since he doesn't want to talk, she'll take advantage of the silence. "I miss you," she breathes. "And not like before."

"That's the best thing I've heard all day," he breathes into the phone. "The best goddamn thing."

"It's not like a worry miss, it's more like I forgot you've left when I'm making my morning tea and almost make your cup of coffee in the morning. Or late at night when the bed's too big. Or when I miss playing in your hair."

The sigh he releases is so heavy. "You have no clue how much I needed to hear that."

"Were you worried?"

"No, call me crazy but I knew you felt the same. You just needed to come to that conclusion yourself."

"You're crazy," she chuckles. "But also right."

"It's not often I hear you say that."

"I can admit when I'm wrong, mister."

Calum chuckles. "You can, you can." Another bout of silence filters in around them before he speaks again. This time in a quiet tone. "Today was a little rough. In an interview, they asked about our love lives. I didn't want to talk about it. It doesn't really involve anyone else. But I guess pictures surfaced of us. I didn't know about them. I just kind of shut down when they asked what was going on. I wanted to say something. But I couldn't, everything that came to mind was rude to them or a sob story."

Her fingertips ache to hold his face. They ache to squeeze his cheeks a little to get him to huff in laughter. But she can't do that over the phone. "Maybe you don't have to say anything. I mean the truth would come out sooner or later."

"It's just we've kept quiet for so long. I'm not sure I'm ready to share it with the world."

"Then don't. Keep us to yourself."

"Is that fair to you? You can't even tell people whose child it is because of me. It's all anyone cares to know about you. You get asked so often about me and you can't say a fucking word because I'm too fucking scared."

"It's okay to be scared sometimes."

"Don't use my quote against me," he laughs. It's not a laugh saturated in amusement, but it's something. She'll take it.

"We all need the reminder." Calum knows that's the truth. They talk for a few more minutes, steering the conversation away from the stresses of the day. He's grateful to have her distraction, small stories about her day, the cute dog she saw. Calum reclines into the pillows, tears nearly falling down his face. He wants her next to him. He's grateful just to hear her voice though.

A few days later, she sends him the baby bump update picture. He calls via FaceTime later that night. Neveah reclined into pillows, Duke settled into her side. A pout rests on her face suddenly. They've gone through the exchange of their day. "What's the matter, sweetheart?"

"I just realized I wanted to paint my toes, but I can't reach them."

"Our little ladybug is getting in the way now?" he asks.

"Ladybug?"

Calum shrugs. "I like the sound of it. I think it's cute."

Neveah nods. Their little ladybug indeed. "But to answer your question, just a wee bit." She looks up from where her feet should be seen to the screen again. Calum's grinning. "What have you done?"

"Check your phone."

When she unlocks the phone and taps on the message thread with Calum, Neveah can see a picture of her pouting. Her laughter falls over her lips. "I look so sad. It's not even that serious. You ought to post that, clear up all the rumors."

They've been growing as the days past. Calum keeps going back and forth on whether to say anything. He'll have to very soon. He knows it. There's no way he could hide his child. He'd try to keep them from the public eye so much. But it's much harder to hide the undeniable physical proof.

"I should." He throws a glance up to her, asking if she's okay with it. It's amazing she can pick up on that even through a screen. She nods. "It's gonna be sappy. I'm warning you."

"That's fine by me."

He's silent for a moment, fingers tapping over the keys. Her phone buzzes with an alert. @calumhood has tagged you in a photo, reads the alert. Our little ladybug prevented her from painting her toenails. I'll be home soon. The end of the caption has the ladybug emoji as long as a bee one.

"Why the bee?"

"Because you're the queen."

"The Beehive is going to annihilate me."

"Honeybee, that's what I'll call you."

She opens up google. "Technically, wasp have queens too."

Calum chuckles. "I'm not calling you a wasp."

"Ants have a queen."

"I'm not callin' you an ant either. But that is an interesting fun fact."

She re-reads the post, eyes watering just a little. It's not easy for him to do that. She knows it's partially timing as well. He could've waited until the very end. He could've kept it secret for a little longer. "It's so sweet. Thank you."

Calum feels the heat rising in his face. "It's because I love you guys. The situation's unique for sure. But I love you, and my little girl. There's nothing to be scared of, not in something like love."

He's a believer. Love is kind, patient, understanding. Love is real, wrapped up in her just for him.

#calum hood #calum hood imagine #calum hood fanfic #calum hood fic #calum hood one-shot #5sos #best friends to lover #5sos fanfic #5sos fic #5sos imagine #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer fanfic #5 seconds of summer fic #5 seconds of summer imagine #h writes #michael clifford #luke hemmings #ashton irwin

27 notes · View notes

avengerscompound · 4 years

Text

Like Rabbits - Chapter 7

Like Rabbits: A Black Widow/WinterHawk Fanfic

Masterlist // PREVIOUS

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Rating: E Square: none

Word Count: 1224

Warnings: Pregnancy stuff, mild angst, talk of past miscarriage

Synopsis: While you and Natasha are contemplating starting a family together, Bucky and Clint are doing the exact same thing. So two couples go take the same path to parenthood together.

A/N: This is a Natasha/Reader

Chapter 7

It wasn’t long between the positive pregnancy test and when your nausea started setting in. Natasha took the role of doting wife very seriously and was quick with saltines and ginger ale and cool compresses. She’d even rub shea butter into your breasts when you started to complain about them aching. She wasn't sure if it actually did anything but the sounds you made when she did it were always so good.

While the symptoms of your pregnancy came on quickly it was another three weeks before you were able to see an obstetrician, and for some reason, Clint didn't seem to be able to deal with it.

For some reason…

Natasha knew the reason. As Clint Barton’s card-carrying best friend she knew everything about him. He shared things that he wouldn't even tell Bucky. So she knew about Bobbi’s miscarriage. Outside of Clint and Bobbi and Bobbi’s doctor, she was probably the only person who did know. So Clint's concern that something was going to go wrong was understandable. The truth was, that had been something she had gone through too, once upon a time. So long ago it wasn't even something Clint knew about. Because it wasn't so much that the Red Room had made it impossible for her to get pregnant it has just made it impossible to carry to term.

So she was determined that now you were pregnant and carrying the baby that was here despite there being no biological claim, you weren't ever going to experience that tragedy. She would fight the gods themselves to protect you from that grief.

So every time she got a call or a text from Clint asking how things were, if you were okay, did either of you need anything, Natasha knew the question was, ‘are you still pregnant?’ So she's always made sure the answer she gave was ‘yes both you and the baby are doing just fine’. That way he knew.

Besides, saying those words out loud was like a mantra. If she said it, it was true and you and she were going to be parents.

Finally, the day came where the question could be answered definitively. On the day of the first ultrasound, Natasha woke up both anxious and excited. She so very much wanted to see that weird little shape that was going to be her son or daughter but she was more than a little worried that they weren’t going to find anything or worse, there would be no heartbeat.

“You sure you’re going to be okay with an internal if the boys are there?” Natasha asked as she pulled her car into the carpark.

“They’ve both been in there. I think I’ll be okay.” You teased.

Natasha snorted and covered her face. There were three people in the world she’d ever allowed to hear her snort-laugh and they were about to all be gathered together looking at a dark screen to see that their baby is okay.

You smiled and leaned over and kissed her. “You ready to see your progeny?” You asked as you took her hand and put it on your stomach.

She took a deep steadying breath. “Yes, I think I am.”

She took your hand as the two of you went into the hospital. Clint and Bucky arrived just as you were filling in the paperwork at the check-in. Clint was obviously worked up. He perched on his chair, rather than sat and he clung to Bucky’s hand like it was a lifeline as he stared at the screen that currently was just a blur of static as the ultrasound technician moved the wand inside you.

She didn’t need to imagine what he was thinking. She was thinking the same thing and every second it took to find that tiny little peanut-sized embryo the feeling was stronger. The pregnancy hadn’t taken. As each second passed she squeezed your hand tighter.

“Tasha, you’re starting to hurt me.” You said.

“Sorry, zaika.” She said, forcing herself to relax her grip.

“Huh…” The ultrasound tech said as she finally stopped moving the wand. “You used Clomid, correct?”

“Yes, that’s right. We aren’t together, so we wanted to put the odds in our favor that it would work.” You explained.

“Is something wrong?” Bucky asked. Beside him, Clint has turned white as a sheet and Natasha wondered if her own fear was betraying itself.

“Quite the opposite,” the tech said. “You’re having twins.”

Clint nearly fell off his chair while Natasha sat up straighter. “Twins? Really?”

“Yes. There is a much higher rate of twins when you take Clomid. You can see one here -“ she said circling one strange little peanut-shaped blob on the screen. “- and the other one is here.” She added circling another one.

“Oh my god! Natasha! Twins!” You said excitedly as the tech started to do a series of measurements.

“They’re okay, right?” Bucky asked. “There's nothing wrong with then, is there?”

The tech didn't say anything for a moment, she just continued her measurements. Natasha thought Clint was going to pass out the longer the tech went without saying anything.

“Everything looks fine. The babies are the right size going off when you said you conceived. Their heartbeats are strong. Nothing to worry about. Being pregnant with twins does up the risk factors but your ObGyn will go over everything with you.” She explained. “Did you want to hear the heartbeats?”

“Yes!” All four of you said at once making the tech laugh. She flicked a switch and the room was filled with the woosh-woosh sound of the babies' hearts.

As the sound of their hearts echoed through the room it felt like Natasha's heart had stopped. She's gone from not thinking she’d ever get to have a child to expecting two and she had never been happier in her life. It was a feeling that so strong she didn't quite recognize it and it hurt a little because she knew how fragile it was.

“Oh my god, Tasha! That's them!” You said.

“I know, zaika,” Natasha said, pressing her lips to the top of your head. “I love them already.”

The tech took the wand away and printed out some pictures to take home. They really didn’t look like much, but Natasha had never wanted to protect something as fiercely as she did right now.

“They look like little peanuts,” Bucky said, looking at the photo.

“And I’m the oven that’s roasting them.” You joked.

Clint chuckled. “Two little oven-roasted peanuts. “Seeing them is surreal, huh? I was so happy to hear their heartbeats.”

Bucky wrapped his arm around Clint's waist and kissed his cheek. “Yeah. Me either. It’s exciting. I wonder if they’re boys or girls or one of each.”

“We’ll find out eventually.” You said, getting down off the table. “Gonna have to be patient.”

Clint let out a strained laugh. “Yeah right. Oh man, we are gonna need such a big house.”

Natasha smiled. The image of their big farmstead with their twins running around with a cat and a dog filled her head. This time that self-doubt about deserving it didn’t even enter her head. She just let herself have it. She was happy. Really happy. It was new and she was going to just enjoy it for a bit.

// NEXT

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #black widow fanfic #bucky barnes #clint barton #hawkeye #the winter soldier #winterhawk #bucky barnes x clint barton #winterhawk fanfic #hawkeye fanfic #the winter soldier fanfic #reader insert #fanfic #fanfiction #pregnancy #like rabbits

202 notes · View notes

artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

You're the Best Part (Heidi x Jaida) - Frankenvenus

a/n i wrote for this pairing cause of the way heidi and jaida talk about how close they got on the show which is so cute. i thought fuck it! let’s write a pregnancy au. the title is a lyric from best part by daniel caeser & h.e.r - 2 very talented black artists.

Jaida didn’t plan it. She had been with her deadbeat boyfriend for seven months before realising she didn’t swing his way. She ended up coming out to him over a very uncomfortable dinner date, and before she could even register what was going on, he had packed everything of his from her small Wisconsin home and left.

It was difficult at first. When your life revolves around this one person, it’s hard to find meaning when things are just over. Heidi helped - of course. Heidi from across the street - Jaida’s ride or die. There wasn’t a dull moment around the younger woman. Although the break up was rough and sudden, Heidi was by Jaida’s side to ease the pain.

Then, out of nowhere, Jaida fell sick. She would just be sitting, minding her own business when she would suddenly feel nauseated. She would have to rush to the bathroom and throw up, then she’d sit there for hours afterwards, head pounding painfully at the mere thought of food. It wasn’t until Heidi came over did Jaida move from her position. The young blonde rushed towards where she lay on the bathroom floor, placing a hand on her forehead.

“Jesus, girl. You are burning up. Let me get you some Tylenol or something I-” she yanked open Jaida’s medicine cabinet above her sink, rummaging through it for any kind of pain killer. “Are you food poisoned? It wasn’t my soup, was it? Fuck, I knew it smelt funny.”

Jaida groaned, wisps of her brown hair clinging to her forehead with sweat. She felt disgusting. She felt even worse having to tell Heidi that she hadn’t touched her soup. She just wasn’t feeling it. She had started to have strong cravings for peanut butter over the previous few days, so she had only really been eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for meals.

Upon telling Heidi this, the young blonde’s face dropped.

“Cravings?”

“Mhm.”

“Bitchhh,” the girl bit her lip and she looked at Jaida with a strange expression, “When was the last time you, you know… did it?”

“Did what?”

Heidi thought over how to say what she wanted to respectfully, without crossing the line. After dodging the big word with many synonyms to no avail, she just said it straight up. “When did you last get fucked?”

The older woman’s jaw went slack, suddenly feeling like passing out. She gripped the bottom of the sink to steady herself. She and her ex-boyfriend had had sex at least twice in the month prior to their break-up, and although she had been taking her birth control, he had consistently refused to wear a condom. Jaida remembered from her college reproductive biology class that 1 in 100 women would get pregnant on the pill annually. She really hoped she had food poisoning instead of being part of the unlucky 1%. She directed Heidi to the emergency pregnancy test in her cabinet, and the blonde promptly waited outside whilst Jaida followed the instructions printed on the box.

“Can you please talk to me whilst I wait? Distract me with your dumbass stories or somethin’,” Jaida joked, but her voice was shaky.

“Did I ever mention I’m a dom top?” Heidi began, and Jaida almost choked. “Yeah, I like tied a gal to the bed once. She said I was really good at it, but I wouldn’t know. She sounded super bored so I wanted to impress her. Her name was like… Dahlia, I think… and when I was fucking her I couldn’t stop thinking about the Black Dahlia and how when they found her body her mouth had been cut into a smile-”

“Preferably not about murder, Heidi. Chile…” Jaida tried to sound angry, but god it was hard. The fact that she was sitting here, possibly pregnant, after throwing up non-stop and Heidi could still elicit a laugh from her blew her mind.

Five minutes passed, Heidi continued to lie about being a dom-top, and then it was time to check the test.

“Heidi? Can you come in and look for me? I don’t think I can do it myself,” breathed Jaida, and her friend nodded without a word. The brunette clenched her fists subconsciously, looking at the floor whilst Heidi picked up the small stick.

“What do the two red lines mean again?” asked the blonde.

Fuck.

Jaida had made the decision not to tell her ex-boyfriend, the father of her soon-to-be child, that she was pregnant. She had heard from mutual friends that he had left the state and moved to Illinois, but quite frankly, she didn’t care.

Her mom had been overjoyed upon finding out, for she had always wanted to be a grandmother. She promised to support Jaida as a single mother throughout her pregnancy and her child’s life.

However, the most supportive person in the brunette’s life at that moment in time was Heidi. Heidi would always knock on the door and bring round a dish that matched Jaida’s daily cravings, she would buy her non-alcoholic wine so they could still drink and watch movies together, she would tend to Jaida when her mourning sickness got back and she would attend every single one of her friend’s check-ups. Jaida was starting to believe Heidi was her guardian angel - because she sure looked like it.

They sat together in the waiting room for Jaida’s second ultrasound. She was nearing her second trimester, and although it was small, there was a visible bump on her stomach. Heidi couldn’t take her hands off it. The blonde held a cheap magazine in one hand and kept her other hand on Jaida’s tummy, awaiting the feeling of a kick (although Jaida had told her it was likely too early for that.) Heidi mocked the trashy magazine headlines while they waited, causing the brunette to laugh so hard she almost cried.

“Girl, one day you’re gonna make this fuckin’ baby shoot out of me five months early cause I’ve been laughing too hard,” Jaida wheezed, gripping the side of the uncomfortable waiting room chair. People around them stared, but they didn’t pay attention.

Heidi gasped, “Oh my goodness Jaida, you can’t curse! What if your baby hears? You don’t want it to pop out of your coochie trash talking like its mommy…”

“Shut up bitch!”

Before they could disturb their surroundings anymore, a nurse entered and called them in. Jaida sat herself down on the chair and the nurse reclined it back slightly. Heidi sat on a small stool to the left of Jaida, watching Jaida with a shit-eating grin on her face. The sonographer, Dr Cox, entered the room, pulling gloves onto her slender hands.

“Well, I can see you have developed a small bump since your last check-up with me,” Dr cox smiled, applying lubricating jelly to Jaida’s stomach to prevent friction from the ultrasound transducer. The gel sent shivers through the brunette, but Heidi reached for her hand and warmed her up. “How are you feeling?” asked the sonographer.

“I’m feeling great. The sickness and nausea have kinda gone away. I’ve been having lots of cravings though,” Jaida sighed, “But it’s all good. Heidi over here got me a Build-a-Bear as a baby shower gift, but it’s more so for me than the baby.”

Dr Cox chuckled as Heidi flipped her hair like the proud best-friend she was.

“Isn’t it early for baby gifts? You don’t even know the gender yet!” Dr Cox said as she hovered the transducer over Jaida’s stomach.

Heidi cut in, “I think she’s plannin’ to raise the baby neutral. She’s gonna let it decide what it wants as it gets older. Until then, we are dressing it rainbow.”

Dr Cox couldn’t help but grin as she stared into the ultrasound, and Jaida felt her face heat up, hoping that the doctor wouldn’t notice. There was just something about the way Heidi spoke with such confidence and conviction that made Jaida’s heart swell in ways she didn’t know it could. What also caused the brunette’s head to spin was the way Heidi said we. They were going to raise this child together.

“Well, of course you can raise the baby gender-neutral. That’s a great idea,” Dr Cox chuckled, moving the transducer across, “But, I can tell you the sex. I can see it right here!”

Jaida’s eyes widened, “You can?”

“Mhm. Do you wanna know?”

“Uh, yes please. Duh.”

Dr Cox pointed at the screen as Jaida and Heidi watched curiously, “Thatis a little girl!”

Jaida tipped her head back in pure bliss. Although she hadn’t spoken it out loud, she had desperately wanted a girl.

“I am so happy. No loud ass boys in this house!” Heidi clapped with glee.

“You don’t even live with me,” Jaida laughed.

“I may as well!”

“Do you have a name for it?” Heidi asked whilst Jaida was biting into a hot pickle - the eight one she had eaten that day.

“Yeah, but it’s a surprise,” Jaida winked with a mouthful of food, “You’re just gonna have to wait and see.”

The blonde slammed her dainty hands on the table, “Bitch! Tell me.”

“Girl, I said surprise. You only have about a month to wait.”

Jaida was right. Her bump was ginormous, to the point that she couldn’t see her toes anymore, and it was clear that the baby was well on its way. Her back hurt constantly, her boobs had swollen their way out of most of her bras, and her hormones were going nuts. She was horny all the time, and incredibly touch starved. Despite having no love for her boyfriend, she missed the feeling of nuzzling her nose into his neck or having filthy words whispered in her ear whilst she was showering.

Every time the brunette looked at Heidi - plump lips, button nose and all - she tried to suppress the need to intertwine their fingers, rub her thigh or gently kiss her forehead. Jaida blamed the thoughts about her friend on the hormones, but deep down she knew there was more to it.

She still hadn’t grown tired of Heidi, even though they had spent practically every minute of the past eight months together. Heidi would still make her warm soup, brew her cups of tea and come over with bags of chips for Jaida, and she would never hesitate. The brunette felt like she owed her life to the younger woman.

It was Heidi’s idea to get the baby’s heartbeat tattooed. They had been given a picture by Dr Cox, and as a birthday gift for Jaida, Heidi had taken her to her friends Widow and Crystal’s tattoo parlour just out of town. The two girls were very well known for their minimalistic yet stylish tattoo designs, and they worked on dark skin flawlessly, unlike many other tattooists in the state. Heidi handed the picture to Widow and the latter was more than excited to execute the idea.

Jaida, being the overly cautious mother-to-be that she was, forced Crystal to thoroughly clean the needle right in front of her out of fear of hurting the child with infection. Crystal assured her that everything was fine and perfectly hygienic, but the brunette didn’t believe it until Heidi told her so. She finally relaxed as Widow pressed the needle against the soft skin of her upper arm.

“How does it look so far?” Jaida asked Heidi through gritted teeth.

“It’s gorgeous.”

“I wish my mom got tattoos done when she was pregnant with me,” Crystal chuckled, preparing the petroleum ointment that she would gently apply on Jaida’s skin once Widow had finished. “That’s so badass.”

“It was all Heidi’s idea,” Jaida smiled, nearly fainting when the apple’s of Heidi’s cheeks reddened slightly.

They were in line at Wendy’s when it happened. Jaida had been craving a spicy chicken sandwich, so Heidi drove her there without debate. The place was busy, so they were waiting for quite a while. Jaida earned a few stares, which was understandable considering she was heavily pregnant. And then she felt it.

“Oh my God, why does it feel like I’m fucking peeing?” Jaida gulped, her heartbeat quickening with distress. “Am I peeing? I didn’t need the bathroom? I feel like my bladder bopped…”

Heidi gasped and grabbed Jaida’s hand, “Holy fuck Jaida, I read about this. Your water just broke!”

It made sense. Jaida’s due date was set for the next week, but for some reason, the brunette hadn’t considered the child being anything but on time. She found it really cute that Heidi had done her research, though she hardly had time to register it because she was being rushed back to the car.

“What about my chicken sandwich?” she frowned as Heidi pressed her foot down on the pedal.

“Fuck your chicken sandwich! We gotta go!”

Thankfully, the hospital wasn’t far. Within ten minutes, they had reached the large building and were being attended to by multiple nurses.

“Oh fuck!” Jaida whimpered as she felt a heavy pressure press against her pelvis, not unlike a period cramp. The nurses told her not to worry, as she was just experiencing contractions, but she was worrying a lot.

Quicker than she could express her feelings, Heidi sensed them. She reached for Jaida’s shaky hand and gripped it, bringing her lips to it and kissing it gently multiple times.

The action was friendly, but it for sure eased Jaida’s pain.

“Heidi can you… can you call my mom?”

“Sure, hon.”

Hon. It seemed like such a domesticated pet name. Jaida felt like crying.

Ten minutes later, Jaida’s mom burst into the hospital room, looking glamorous as ever. Jaida was the spitting image of her, and Heidi found herself wondering if Jaida’s child would be the same.

“Are you okay, sweetie pie?” her mom asked, pushing past Heidi and grabbing her daughter’s hand comfortingly.

“I’m fine. Slightly uncomfortable, though.”

Jaida was still yet to go into labour, but the doctors and nurses had advised that she stay put at the hospital because it was likely that she would start soon. She was extremely nervous. Growing up, she had always found the prospect of birth disgusting and painful. Now that she was experiencing it - she was right. Her head was sticky with sweat, her lips were dry and the milk that had started coming in two days prior had caused her to feel constantly uncomfortable. To her surprise, Heidi had shown her how to use the breast pump, so now she had many cups of milk sitting in the fridge, waiting for baby Hall to arrive.

It wasn’t long before Jaida went into labour, and Heidi stayed by her the entire time (after having to argue with a nurse to try and convince her that she was practically family.) Their hands stayed connected through the entire process, and Heidi whispered Jaida comforting promises whilst the latter screamed in pain and agony.

Jaida didn’t cry often, but in the four hours that it took to deliver her baby, she must’ve cried her entire body mass. She cried harder after Heidi softly whispered in her ear, ‘We can do this together.’ She knew she couldn’t cope simply being Heidi’s best friend and next-door neighbour anymore. She wanted Heidi. Even more so, she wanted Heidi to be her child’s second parent. It was a huge thing to ask, and she told herself that she would never seriously ask it, but she knew that Heidi would make an incredible mom.

After hours of sobbing, the only cries that filled the room were the cries of Jaida’s beautiful little baby. The baby’s small head was already covered with little black curls upon delivery, and Jaida couldn’t help but stroke them softly whilst the newborn fell asleep in her arms. The baby’s nose was small and cute and Heidi had already gently booped it about fifteen times.

“It’s so tiny,” Jaida’s mom gaped.

“Look at its little hands,” Heidi added.

“Y’all wanna know what I decided to call it?” questioned Jaida, and both women nodded profusely, “I decided to call it Willow cause it’s kinda unisex and the willow tree on our street started growing right when I found out I was pregnant. It cannot be a coincidence.”

For the first time that day, Jaida watched as Heidi’s eyes became glassy. They quickly became filled with tears that spilt over after she said, “I love it.”

Jaida looked into Heidi’s eyes and saw something there that she hadn’t seen before. Both their eyes were dark and stared deeply into one another, further past what each of them saw.

“Momma, can you take Willow for a second? I need a moment with Heidi here,” the brunette asked and her mom nodded, carefully scooping the sleeping baby from her daughter’s arms. She stepped out of the room and into the hallway, leaving Jaida and Heidi there alone.

“Thank you for being here,” Jaida sniffled, reaching forward to take her friend’s soft hands, “I really don’t know how I would’ve coped without you. You have helped me more these past nine months than anyone has ever had. I owe you everything.”

“Girl, you’re gonna make me so emotional,” Heidi giggled through her tears, “I am so proud of you. You really said fuck this baby daddy I’m gonna birth this child all alone and raise it alone cause I’m the baddest bitch alive.”

The brunette bit her lip before placing her hand on the side of Heidi’s face nervously, causing the blonde’s lips to part subconsciously, “But I didn’t do it alone. I did it with you.”

Before either of them could say another word, Heidi pulled Jaida in by the back of her neck and tipped their lips up to meet one another in the softest, gentlest kiss either of them had ever experienced. It was nothing like the ones Jaida shared with her ex-boyfriend - those had no meanings - but this meant the world. Nine months of pent up emotions spilt out into the intimate embrace. Heidi’s lips explored Jaida’s hesitantly, like she was made of glass, but the brunette assured her not to be afraid by gently dragging her tongue across the blonde’s lower lip.

After another minute, they pulled away, breathless. They kept staring into one another’s eyes, looking for answers, until Jaida was the first to say it.

“I love you,” she muttered, “I have loved you this whole damn time.”

“I love you too,” Heidi wept, pressing her lips against Jaida’s flushed cheek briefly.

“Heidi I- I don’t know how to tell you this but I… I want you to be Willow’s mom, along with me. I want us to parent this kid together. I can’t do it alone.”

Heidi gasped, “Oh my lord I was waiting for you to ask that.”

“Chile… Are you serious?”

“Yes, bitch! I’ve always wanted to raise a child and teach it my ways and Willow… Willow is so beautiful. Just like their momma. Of course I wanna raise this baby with you.”

“I love you so, so much.”

11 months later

Jaida and Heidi had made an agreement that Jaida was to be called mom and Heidi was momma, to avoid any confusion, however, Willow was still yet to form a real word. Willow was a fantastic babbler and had perfected the art of incoherent sounds and blowing raspberries, but nothing that had escaped their lips was actually in the dictionary.

“Oh lord, what if Willow never speaks… What if they grow up mute?” Jaida panicked, her head in her hands against the kitchen counter.

“Calm down, baby,” Heidi sighed, placing her hand on the small of her girlfriend’s back, “If they’ve got even a fragment of your brain, I just know they’re gonna be a smartass.”

“Smartass!”

A voice echoed across the room. Heidi shoved Jaida gently for mocking her, but Jaida defended herself, promising that it wasn’t her who said it. They were confused for a second before the realisation dawned on them. They rushed towards Willow’s crib where the child sat, sucking on the floppy ear of a stuffed toy.

“What did you just call me, Willow Essence Anthonie-Hall?” Jaida squinted, leaning over the crib to watch her baby’s lips curl up into a smile.

“Smartass,” Willow grinned, causing Heidi nearly to pass out with laughter.

Jaida scooped Willow up and held them over her head, “You can’t say that! Heidi, tell Willow that they can’t say that!”

Heidi was wheezing too hard to respond, but after a minute of bellowing laughter, she managed to say, “Willow ain’t wrong!”

“Not only am I being bullied by my girlfriend, but also my almost 1-year-old kid,” she faux-gasped, “I’m leaving!” she joked, before bursting into laughter. Things couldn’t have been better.

#rpdr fanfiction #heidi n closet #jaida essence hall #heidi x jaida #fic challenge #black girl magic fic #fluff #friends to lovers #pregnancy au #lesbian au #frankenvenus #diversity fic #s12 #rare pair

30 notes · View notes